#hitmans wife

[k-lua]

sexta-feira !

#ryan reynolds #insult #samuel l jackson #salma hayek #sorry not sorry #lionsgate #not sorry #salma #ryanreynolds #sam jackson #salmahayek #hitmans wifes bodyguard #hitmans #samjackson #hitmans wife #hitmanswifesbodyguard #hitmans bodyguard #hitmanswife #im not sorry #hitmansbodyguard #hitman bodyguard

[loremaster]

…and here was my prompt this time. (Real image under the cut!)

Requests are closed for now! Thanks for playing!

#rain code #rain code fusions #rain code spoilers #abcd art #zilch alexander #fake zilch #hitman zilch #amaterasu researcher #yakou’s wife #mrs. furio #two nameless posthumous bamfs #their deaths cancel each other out

[doodlinggoat]

so I was watching some movies and the brainrot struck me

#disco elysium #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #jean vicquemare #my love hate relationship with hands continues #screenshot redraw original under the cut #Jean f!$@ me vicquemare just wants to go home gentlemen #coatgoat draws #original: hitman's wife's bodyguard

[crybabycunt]

Enemy agent: You're gonna tell us everything you know.

Yelena: I'm not telling you shit!

(Yelena gets tasered by the agent)

Kate: You can electrocute her all day, it'll only make her angrier.

(the agent moves in on Kate with the taser)

Kate: I, on the other hand, will tell you everything.

Yelena: What? Really?!

#yelena belova #kate bishop #hawkeye #black widow #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #crack #funny #bishova #bishlova #yelena belova incorrect quotes #kate bishop incorrect quotes #bishova incorrect quotes #bishlova incorrect quotes #source: hitman’s wife’s bodyguard

[dark-elf-writes]

What if Blaise’s family fled Italy because they got into deep shit with the mafia?

Blaise takes one look at Harry’s family crest (a ring? A necklace? Proudly emblazoned on everything he owns because Reborn is a possessive man and anyone who knows the vongola crest knows that he married the head and to act against it would be to act against him directly?) and goes through every stage of grief before writing frantically home to his mother to figure out what the hell hes supposed to do about this. Her advice is to of course get as close to the little Vongola heir as possible because family is everything and more than a few recent enemies of the family have been turned into their most steadfast and protected allies.

#the elf talks #harry potter #katekyo hitman reborn #aka Blaise’s mom tells her son to become a mafia wife to save both of their lives

[serxndgifites]

below you'll find gifs (sized 268x151) of SALMA HAYEK-PINAULT in various projects. all gifs were made by me and are for roleplaying purposes. she's mexican-lebanese, please cast accordingly and use appropriately! feel free to make into gif icons, add psd coloring, add into edits. please DON'T claim as yours and add to other gif packs. reblogs and likes are appreciated!! enjoy.🫧

Grown Ups 1&2 ┊ one / two

Black Mirror s6ep1 ┊ here

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard ( tw: g*ns&violence&flashing lighs)┊ here

#salma hayek pinault gif hunt #salma hayek gif pack #salma hayek pinault #salma hayek #black mirror #grown ups #grown ups 2 #hitmans wifes bodyguard #gif pack #gif hunt #poc gif hunt #older fc

[lucas-grey]

He pays his militia with cookies and eggnog.

#hitman #lucas grey #hitman screenshots #my screenshots #hitman fandom #this sweater is too cute #I can't take this man serious in this thing #look how cute he is #he doesn't look like the boss #he looks like the daddy #who knows his daughter comes over at christmas with her new boyfriend #and he makes all the bad dad jokes after drinking a bit too much #his wife probably wears the same sweater #and the daughter hates everything about it and it's like the trial by fire for her relationship #the daughter is olivia

[berkmansimagines]

Karma

A/N: Barry is finally back!!!!

Summary: You try to sneak away from a work thing to spend the night with Barry.

Pairing: Barry Berkman x hitman!girlfriend reader

tw: smoking, violence, mentions sexual assault & suicide

You’re out at a nightclub. The place is owned by your handler, Diane. Clubbing isn’t really your scene but it’s opening night and Diane asked you to help out. If there are any problems, it’s your job to discreetly fix them. 

You went to the club alone. The only reason you didn’t invite Barry is because you don’t want Diane to know that you two are dating. Your handler has a strict rule about you not having relationships with anyone from work and you broke that rule for Barry. As far as Diane knows, you haven’t seen Barry since you completed a hit together a few months ago. You’d prefer to keep it that way for now. She’ll be pissed when she finds out the truth.

Although Barry isn’t here, you’ve been secretly texting him all night. You miss him. You soon realized that you’d rather be with your boyfriend than out at the club, so you decided to leave early. Diane is having a good time schmoozing and boozing. She probably won’t even notice that you’re gone…

When you told Barry you wanted to sneak away, he volunteered to pick you up. He’s on his way to get you now. While waiting for Barry, you go outside to the alley. The club is packed and the music is loud, you just want a quiet moment to yourself. 

You lean against the wall and light a cigarette. As you exhale, your entire body relaxes. You know that smoking is bad for you but it feels so good. It’s a nasty habit you hope to quit one day.

You take another puff from your cigarette, when the club’s side door abruptly opens. A man and woman stumble outside. The woman looks very drunk and can barely stand up straight. The guy has his arm snaked around the girl’s shoulder, holding her up. He tries leading her down the alley.

You furrow your eyebrows, immediately suspicious. You have a gut feeling that something isn’t right. The woman is too drunk to even stand, let alone consent to anything. Unfortunately this is a situation you are all too familiar with. 

You’ve been in this woman’s shoes before. One time some creep slipped something in your drink at a bar and Barry had to intervene. Your boyfriend stopped the guy from taking advantage. You were grateful that he was there to help. You know that not everyone is so lucky…

Years ago, before you moved out to LA, your childhood best friend was in this position. But nobody was there to step in. She was violently assaulted and never recovered from what happened. She became severely depressed and ended up taking her own life. Not being there to help your best friend is one of the biggest regrets of your life. You could not let something like that happen again. You need to intervene.

You toss your cigarette to the ground and step in front of the creepy man and drunk woman, blocking their way.

“Hey! What’s going on here?” you question the guy.

“My girlfriend got too drunk…” he answers.

He’s lying. You can smell his bullshit a mile away. And then-

“I… I don’t know this guy,” the drunk girl mumbles.

You cross your arms against your chest. 

“How can she be your girlfriend if she doesn’t know who you are?” you continue grilling the guy.

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I’m taking her home,” he shrugs. He tries moving past you.

You shake your head and keep blocking his way.

“Nah. That’s not gonna happen,” you say coolly.

You try pulling the drunk girl away from the creep but he shoves you off with full force. You stumble back and almost lose your footing.  As soon as you regain composure, you punch the guy in the mouth. He drops the drunk woman and you catch her before she hits the ground. She whimpers in your arms.

“It’s okay! I’ve got you,” you reassure the woman.

The man keels over and spits out a tooth. His lip is bleeding. Part of you just wants to beat the shit out of him but your hands aren’t free. And you know that making sure this drunk woman is safe is more important. 

“Get out of here,” you order in a low, serious voice. 

Then you turn to walk away. You’re leading the woman towards the door when the creep roughly grabs you by the shoulder.  He forces you to turn around and face him.

“What’s your problem, bitch?” he confronts you.

“Let go of me!” you scream.

You’re struggling to fight this guy off while holding the unconscious drunk woman. The creep raises hand, about to strike you, when-

Barry comes out of seemingly nowhere and aggressively shoves your attacker to the ground.

“Barry,” you breathe. You knew he was on his way to pick you up, but you’re still kind of in shock that he’s here right now.

Barry coldly stares the creep down. The guy is unconscious. He must've hit his head on the ground when Barry pushed him. You raise your eyebrows at Barry, impressed. Fuck yeah, that’s my boyfriend!

Barry turns to you and his face softens. He steps towards you.

“Are you okay?” he asks with concern. 

Before you have time to answer, you hear a familiar voice call out your name.

“Y/N! What the fuck is going on?” 

You and Barry turn and see your handler standing by the door. Barry immediately backs away from you. The two of you need to act like you’re not dating so Diane doesn’t get suspicious.

“Diane! Hey, how’s it going?” you stammer.

Diane puts her hand on her hips, rocking a power pose.

“Who is that woman?” she questions you, then eyes Barry, “And is that Barry Berkman?! What are you doing here?”

You sigh, shaking your head.

“I don’t know her name. I was just outside having a smoke break and some creep was trying to leave with her. She looked really drunk so I intervened.”

“Shit,” Diane shrugs.

Diane pops her head back inside the club and calls for a bouncer. One of the bouncers comes outside.

“Get this woman an Uber home,” she instructs the bouncer.

“I saw the people she came here with. They’re looking for her. I’ll bring her back to her friends,” the bouncer replies.

The bouncer approaches you and takes the drunk woman out of your arms. Then he carries the woman back inside the club -  leaving you, Barry and Diane outside. 

“Ok so that explains the woman. And I assume that guy passed out on the ground over there is the creep. But I still don’t understand what he's doing here…” 

Diane’s eyes narrow in on your boyfriend.

“I just had drinks with a buddy at a bar nearby. I was walking back to my car and I heard something going on in the alley. I wanted to help,” Barry lies convincingly. In his line of work, he’s used to coming up with an alibi on the fly.

“Barry was actually the one that knocked that guy out!” you tell Diane, “I couldn’t really fight because I was holding the drunk girl. He really saved my ass back there.”

“Mhmm. Who knew he had it in him?” Diane scoffs.

“Thanks Barry,” you give him an appreciative nod, “It’s good to see you again. It’s been a while...”

Barry nods back, going along with the lie.

“Yeah, uh, not since that job we did together. How have you been? You look really great.”

You shyly smile at Barry and then look down at your feet, trying to hide a blush from Diane. Diane rolls her eyes. She’s no longer interested in this conversation.

“Well I guess all I can say is thank you, Barry.” Diane shrugs and then, “I’d invite you into the club but you aren’t properly dressed. You would never get past the bouncer.”

Barry sighs, defeated. You give Barry a sympathetic look. Diane takes your arm.

“Let’s go back inside, Y/N. I want to introduce you to my art thief friend from Paris. He’s gorgeous and just your type.”

Diane drags you by the arm toward the door. You won’t be able to sneak away with Barry after all. You’re disappointed that your plan didn’t work out. You feel like the universe is working against you. It’s karma. This is what you get for lying to Diane about your relationship. Yeah, bad karma’s a bitch.

You look back longingly at your boyfriend.

“I’m sorry,” you mouth to Barry.

Barry’s face drops as he watches you go inside. The door to the club slams shut, leaving Barry all alone in the alley. He is totally deflated. You should be going home with him right now, not talking with some other guy.

“Art thief?” Barry mutters to himself in disbelief.

Barry leaves the alley and heads back toward his car. While walking, Barry’s phone vibrates in his pocket. He takes his phone out and reads the notification. It’s a text message from you:

Hey babe! I’m so sorry. I don’t know when I’ll be able to sneak out again...

A second message comes through:

You don't need to wait for me

Barry takes a deep breath, trying to figure out how to respond. His mind suddenly flashes to you in the club. Some hot guy is flirting with you and rests his hand on the small of your back. Barry clenches his jaw at the thought.

He texts you back:

I’ll wait

#barry #barry hbo #barry berkman #bill hader #barry berkman imagine #barry berkman x reader #barry berkman x hitman!wife #bbhw

[yakool-foolio]

Hitman Zilch knows the drill

#you better watch out you better watch out #took immediate advantage of yakou's wife's hq sprites #rain code #rain code spoilers #yomi hellsmile #hitman zilch

[k-lua]

#seriously #are you serious #samuel l jackson #sam jackson #hitmans wifes bodyguard #samjackson #hitmans bodyguard #hitman bodyguard #ryan reynolds #insult #salma hayek #lionsgate #salma #ryanreynolds #salmahayek #hitmans #hitmans wife #hitmanswifesbodyguard #hitmanswife

[cnfsd-bisexual]

My favourite film/tv genre is when someone is just having a series of absolutely awful days and is like getting the living shit kicked out of them and ppl are dying or betraying them or whatever, it's great

#ryan reynolds #red notice #the hitman's bodyguard #the hitman's wife's bodyguard #pokemon detective pikachu #deadpool #Deadpool 2 #free guy #ripd #the croods #etc #other films too #like #alien #aliens #lord of the rings #the hobbit #mad max #fight club #venom #jennifer's body #star wars #supernatural #the boys #hannibal #the mandalorian #moon knight #the untamed #video games as well #rdr2

[randomlittleimp]

Watching The Hitman's wife's bodyguard, because of course I did

#personal #movie #the hitman's wife's bodyguard #ryan reynolds #samuel l jackson #frank grillo #salma hayek #antonio banderas #morgan freeman

[magentasteam]

Today I have learned….that Sierra “The Fucking” Knox….can KILL our boi by stepping on him. I thought I was seeing things because I am ill atm, but no—this woman can kill the blackmailer flamingo and 47. So that’s another female character in Hitman that can somehow curve my straightness with murder.

#hitman fandom #sierra knox #agent 47 #this creampuff icing head woman just stepped on our boi’s fingies #he needs them to pleasure his wife you inconsiderate asshole

[alatismeni-theitsa]

So i was watching the movie 'The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard' to pass my time and at the begging of the plot they show an EU meeting where they decide to put sanctions in Greece for some reason and the bad guy of the movie is a Greek wealthyman called..... Aristotelis Papadopoulos (they putted the most recognised Greek names ever) played by Antonio Banderas xd.

And the bad guy decides to spread a virus in all Europe except from Greece to return the country to it's former glory as the center of civilization and i am like....huh???

OMG i remember this!!! 😂😂 Yeah it's bad in many ways but it escaped my commentary because it's an obvious comedic device. The lack of thought makes it better imo 😂

And I mean, if we're practical about it, Aristotelis Papadopoulos is stupid. Greece has sooo many issues even with the money flowing from other countries. (Because our politicians pocket it all and buy villas :)) ) How are things going to get better for us when the entire planet collapses? 😂

#some real Aristotelis Papadopoulos is sneezing rn 😂😂😂 #answered #The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

[crybabycunt]

Kate: (looking at opposing agents) Are you two ready to get your freak on?

(the agents look at each other confused)

Kate: That came out wrong. Not together. I mean with us.

Yelena: (now also looking confused) What?

Kate: Wait, that also came out wrong.

Yelena: Let me do the talking.

#bishova #bishlova #yelena belova #kate bishop #black widow #hawkeye #crack #funny #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #bishova incorrect quotes #bishlova incorrect quotes #yelena belova incorrect quotes #kate bishop incorrect quotes #source: hitman's wife's bodyguard

[dark-elf-writes]

Blaise's mom says that like Blaise's not going to be the bride in this

Harry gets all of Tsuna’s mother tendencies, is some flavor of GNC, and ends up nearly a foot shorter than Blaise and is still not the bride in this scenario.

#the elf talks #harry potter #katekyo hitman reborn #Blaise the mafia wife and his five foot tall dress wearing husband