dark-elf-writes

[dark-elf-writes]

Was thinking about eleven year old Fawn Spots Harry and made myself laugh because he would be so angry that technology doesn’t work at Hogwarts.

Full on “What do you mean Olympus has cell service and the middle of Scotland doesn’t?! It’s not even the same plane of fucking existence and calls aren’t even long distance!” Little man has not been more than a phone call away from his family since he was adopted and he is not coping well, but beyond that the lack of online databases, easy way to compile notes and write the eight million essays they’re assigned, and actual entertainment that isn’t ’dangerous flying dodgeball’ (which he does love tbh but still not everyone does) would drive him up the wall. Fuck the lack of things like highlighters and binders would piss him off. 

He would show up with a spiral notebook and a mechanical pencil and a pureblood child would pass out from shock. He writes his family constantly begging for any and all stationary they can send. He uses breaks to type up last term’s notes and introduces the first final study guide in Times New Roman into Hogwarts and makes a killing off of selling them. The older pureblood students beg on bended knee for help making their own and the muggleborns realize oh shit they can corner the market per year and subject. Harry will drag Hogwarts into the modern age if he has to do so kicking and screaming.

#the elf talks #harry potter #fawn spots au #Hermione sees him pull out a folder and immediately writes home because god dammit she misses her trapper keeper #the muggleborns all have an underground meme market and everyone else is so confuse #Dean sending those flying notes to Rick Roll other muggle raised students and being so damn smug about it #he took a whole summer to learn how to draw Rick astley from memory just for this #the twins see the psychic damage this does and help him charm it to play the song too #Hogwarts becomes a lot more chaotic in the 2000’s #Percy is the one to figure out how to get tech to work around magic #purebloods are sheltered Victorian children and Harry will find a way to put one in a coma by playing WAP

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“counterspell” or as i like to call it “Nuh uh”

#uno reverse #or as I like to call it #where did all my spells lots go

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First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

#online dating #to true to life tbh I’ve dated some wild characters

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Of heroics and healing Harry and Fawn Spots Harry meeting and bonding over having met Ry

Once they get done spiderman pointing at each other they find out that the one constant throughout universes is one (1) shapeshifting enby who makes the worst coffee known to mortals and gods alike and honestly aren’t even that surprised that is painfully Ry energy.

But real talk since I’m imagining them as their current ages as far as the au’s go HaH Harry would be so busy being so damn grateful FS Harry gets to grow up with a good family from such a young age it would take him a hot minute to get to that realization. The hope that maybe somewhere there is a Harry Potter that gets to grow up happy and loved and safe would drive him to tears.

#the elf talks #mha #bnha #harry potter #astoria fates kiss #of heroics and healing au #fawn spots au #them meeting at 17 would be more #hah!harry: what do you mean you got a godhood out of everything and all I got was crippling trauma #FS!Harry: I am haunted by the ghost of Tom riddle in the most literal sense of the word #hah!Harry: … I take it back I got the better end of the deal

[dark-elf-writes]

Hmm I have an au for Of Heroics and Healing where Sirius goes to Japan in hopes of checking up on Shota, because he was scared he might be dead because of the war or something, right as Shota adopts Harry. So when he gets word of what is going on, he is so so so mad because he was so close, yet so far

AU of an AU where everything is the same but Sirius is pouting dramatically on Shouta’s couch and whining about how his darling baby cousin stole his godson away

Shouta is about one more dog breath good morning from going full Cain instinct on him (and if he sometimes presses his face into Padfoot’s fur and lets a few tears fall because they made it. Sirius was home and out of Azkaban and well enough to be bitching and complaining and getting dog hair over everything Shouta owns. Harry was there draped over Hizashi’s shoulder as they tried to explain some English assignment to him laughing at them instead of paying attention. Well that was his business wasn’t it?)

#the elf talks #mha #bnha #harry potter #of heroics and healing au

[dark-elf-writes]

ill keep writing about surviving because i don't know what else there is

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ENOUGH “submissive and breedable”. what about “bloody, eyes glinting with resentful rage, and breedable” huh. what about that.

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really crazy how much i’ve imagined this fic. like it’s soooooo imagined you wouldn’t even believe. not writing it though

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#vampire knight

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*Listening to The Underworld Saga on repeat*

#epic the musical #epic the underworld saga

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The “stray dog you brought home is actually a shapeshifter/wereworlf/etc” trope but Zakkura and post

#the elf talks #ff7 #cloud who barely has enough money to feed himself bringing home a stray and sliding him most of his food #Zack horrified to see how he lives and decides to take care of his new spikey buddy #cloud who LOSES HIS SHIT when he realized that the stray dog he helped is a soldier first who is now trying to be his sugar daddy

[dark-elf-writes]

(SOUND IS CRUCIAL) this video is has murdered me dead the music the editing the way information is slowly revealed about the two of them the plot twist the breaking bad images. WILLIAM WILLIAM WILLIAM. all over minecraft parkour someone help im seizing

#I’m sobbing real tears oh my god

[dark-elf-writes]

Living in America means going into a mostly dead mall’s parking lot as a short cut to avoid traffic and finding a carnival + a gun show happening on opposite ends of the mall.

REAL

Like I know we all cloud on the US for being exactly this stereotype but I need everyone to know that it is fully accurate and true.

#the elf talks #it’s either those or toyotathon

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Friendly reminder (to myself, but if I need to hear it than someone else probably does too) that it’s okay to jump from wip to wip to wip. Writing shouldn’t be about guilt, and no writing is ever a waste.

[dark-elf-writes]

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kinda in the mood to disappear into the fog tbh