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chickenfics · 2 years

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Security Blanket

Relationship: Loki x GN!reader (SFW)

Summary: The reader can’t sleep thanks to a true crime podcast. In their anxiety, they seek out comfort from a certain God of Mischief

Word count: 2.2k

Content warning: Okay, so, this isn't a heavy fic by any means, but it does contain discussions around true crime, murder, and what could maybe be considered home invasion. If that will make you uncomfortable in any way, I would suggest maybe skipping this one. Instead, I can offer you The Best Medicine which is a similar story, but without the murder bits

Masterlist Also on ao3

You wrung your hands together, groaning softly before dragging them over your face. It was nearing midnight. You’d tucked into bed hours ago, and still sleep hadn’t come. Though, whose fault was that?

Yours. It was definitely yours.

When would you learn to stop listening to true crime podcasts before bed? Or reading scary stories that you were ‘sure you could handle’ because ‘they’re not that scary.’ When would you learn that your anxiety would use any excuse it could get -- even if the chances of you being abducted and murdered by a serial killer was one in several thousand?

When would you learn your lesson? Not tonight, apparently.

Because you had done just that, and now it was five past twelve and you were still awake, had checked that your window was locked three separate times, and was wondering how easy it would be for someone to break into the compound.

It was ridiculous, really. Thanks to Tony, the building you were fortunate enough to call home was probably the safest place you could ever be -- especially considering who your neighbors were. You suspected that if a murderer even did manage to infiltrate Stark’s million-dollar security system, the likelihood of them getting past two super soldiers, men with fancy suits, an assassin, and a few supernatural beings was… pretty damn slim.

So why did you feel so afraid?

Your heart was racing in your chest, and you could feel the edges of your body floating away from you, out into the darkness of your room as you tried to listen for the smallest of sounds. But of course anticipating them made your blood run cold at things you weren’t even sure you'd heard.

Throwing your head back into your pillow with exhausted annoyance, you groaned again. You weren’t going to get any sleep at this rate. You’d be lucky if you didn’t wind up having an anxiety attack. Really, when would you learn? No true crime cases after dinner.

Feeling tears of frustration prick against your eyes, you dragged yourself to your feet. Were you really going to do this?

“Whenever you need me, darling,” the voice echoed in your head. “You know where to look.”

A feeling of dread settled in the pit of your stomach. Dread and guilt. But you could also feel your nerves fraying at the edges, and he had said whenever you needed him. If he’d actually meant it, well… you were about to find out.

Grabbing the blanket from off of your bed, you wrapped it snugly around your head and shoulders, pulling it closed just beneath your chin. You felt ridiculous but couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were too exhausted for that.

Slinking up to your door, you cautiously clicked it open. The hallway stretched on either side of your room, dark and looming like a gaping mouth. You felt your heartbeat flutter and swallowed hard.

Stepping out into the abyss -- really just the hallway -- you tugged your blanket closer and turned left, making a hasty beeline for the room four doors away, sending endless thanks out into the universe that he was close. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you had to venture to the whole other end of the compound.

But you didn’t have to wonder because soon enough you were standing outside his door. You would have turned around and left, giving in to that feeling of guilt at the very thought of waking him up, but your brain was pulsing with anxiety. At this point you weren’t even sure what you were worried about, you’d gotten so ahead of yourself.

So, taking a deep, trembling breath, you knocked twice. It sounded so loud in the silence of the night that it nearly made you jump.

When the door abruptly opened, you did jump.

“Oh dear,” Loki mumbled, tilting his head as he took in the state of you. His hair was ruffled, curls furling out in a bedhead so beautiful it was practically a crime. He had obviously been sleeping, and that guilt inside you grew.

“I am so sorry.”

Loki simply raised an eyebrow, stepping aside and swinging the door open further to let you in. You hesitated for only a moment before entering. Almost instantly the dread that had been gripping you in a chokehold all but drained away, allowing you to breathe again.

“Did Wilson talk you into another horror movie? I told him to stop doing that.”

You shook your head, and he swung the door shut.

“True crime podcast,” you managed, your voice only trembling a little. “This guy would break into people's houses while they were away and then hide in their attics so he could murder them in their sleep, or whatever.”

Loki pulled a face, something between a wince and a look of disgust.

“That’s…. distasteful.”

“Yeah.”

You stood there in silence, then, and shifted from one foot to the other.

“What if they didn’t have an attic?” Loki suddenly asked.

“What?”

“The people whose houses he broke into. What if they didn’t have an attic?”

“I… don’t know,” you muttered, then gave a hoarse, wobbly laugh. God, you were so tired. You rubbed your forehead, staring at the ground.

“It’s really got you, hasn’t it?” Loki seemed to realize, and when you nodded, eyes still glued shamefully to the ground, his demeanor shifted in an instant.

“Alright, it’s alright,” he murmured, stepping closer to you.

Your arms were crossed tightly around yourself. Loki held out a slender, pale hand. After a moment, you accepted it, laying your own hand against his soft palm.

“It honestly didn’t freak me out, but then my anxiety started acting up and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and…” you took a shuddering breath and tried not to burst into tears.

“Alright, you’re alright,” Loki softly assured, rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand. Then, a bit awkwardly he asked, “Is… this one of those times I should offer you a hug? I never can tell…”

You thought for a beat, then nodded. You still hadn’t lifted your eyes from the floor, and Loki hooked a finger beneath your chin, gently lifting your face until you were staring into his ocean-green eyes. They were unusually soft in that way they always got when you were together.

Giving you a quick smile and a reassuring wink, he pulled you into his chest, tugging you close and leaning over you like he wanted to swallow you whole. Like he wanted to keep you safe from the whole world.

“I don’t think you need to worry, love,” he eventually spoke up. “After all, we haven’t got an attic.”

At that, you burst out laughing, the sound of it muffled against his shirt. You felt his chuckle against your skin as it rumbled through his chest, and his hand slid up between your shoulder blades.

“And anyhow,” he continued. “Even if an intruder did manage to make their way into this miserable fortress Stark has created, they would be dead before they even had a chance to lay a finger on you. I’d make sure of it.”

You inhaled deeply through your nose, filling your lungs with Loki’s familiar scent. One of peppermint and pine, and that lavender shampoo he claimed he didn't use.

“I know,” you whispered into his shirt. “My brain’s just being dumb--”

“Uh-uh, absolutely not. That beautiful brain of yours is not dumb,” he firmly insisted. “Though, perhaps you should rethink your pre-bedtime entertainment.”

He had you laughing again, and you wrapped your arms tighter around him for it.

“Thank you, Loki. And I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Never apologize, my darling,” he rubbed another hand up your back.

“Can I… can I stay here, tonight?” You sheepishly asked, voice sounding small. You really didn't want to be alone right now, with your mind running rampant and creating monsters out of shadows and creaks.

“As if I’d allow you to leave,” Loki scoffed, grabbing your legs and hoisting you into his arms, blanket and all. “There might be a murder in our attic, I can’t let you wander the compound unprotected.”

“Loki,” you groaned as he carried you towards the bed. But his teasing didn’t make you more anxious like it might have -- like it would have if it was anyone else -- because you knew that he really did mean to protect you. And, as silly as that was, it made you feel better.

He tossed you gently onto the bed. Grabbing your blanket, he wrapped it firmly around you until he’d effectively cocooned you inside it.

“There,” he announced, tapping your nose. “My precious little mortal.”

You huffed, rolling your eyes, but you couldn’t have denied the grin that spread across your face. A grin that only widened as he crawled in next to you, pulling his own blanket over the both of you. You didn’t miss how he’d put you next to the wall -- how he’d positioned himself between you and the door.

“Rest assured, love, no one will harm you tonight.”

You groaned again, more out of embarrassment than anything, and buried your face in your blanket burrito.

“No,” you peeped, agreeing. “Not when there’s a very strong, very dashing god here to protect me from any serial murderers…”

Maybe it was because you were hiding your face already. Maybe it was because you were so tired, or half-giddy with relief now that the adrenaline had fled your body. Maybe that was why your tongue had gone loose and you’d let yourself gush about how amazing Loki was.

But when you peeked out to find him blushing furiously, his usually pale skin tinged pink at the ears, you realized that Loki needed to hear it. Wiggling yourself sideways, you looked adamantly at him, determined to make him listen. You waited until he looked at you with a mix of dread and annoyance before continuing.

“Thank you for looking after me. You’re the best there ever was.”

“Stop it,” Loki insisted, glancing sideways before reluctantly meeting your eye again.

“I mean it.”

“You’re delusional with fright.”

“No,” you insisted, and you would have smacked his arm had you not been burritoed up. “You’re lovely and strong and amazing -- my hero.”

Now it was Loki’s turn to groan, but you could see his jaw twitch as he fought a smile.

“You live in a building full of actual heroes, and yet you come to me when you're afraid. You know I’ve surely killed more people than that man who hides in attics?”

He wasn’t trying to scare you, you could tell. It was more of a friendly -- and very confused -- warning. That was fine, you could understand for the both of you.

“I already told you, Loki, I come to you because you look after me. And I’m fully aware of your past, thank you very much. Nothing will change the way that I feel safe with you.”

Loki stilled, eyebrows knitting together ever so slightly as he sought for something in your face. You could see the conflict behind his eyes -- he probably wanted to tell you how foolish that was, how you shouldn’t feel safe with a monster like him, but yet, he didn’t.

“Besides,” you continued, hating the way he looked so… broken. “You never lurked in anybody’s attics waiting to brutally murder them in their sleep.”

It did the trick and Loki laughed, short and breathy.

“No,” he tilted his head. “No, I suppose I didn’t. That’s too… slimy -- even for me.”

You smiled, feeling your eyelids grow heavy. When you let out a content sigh, Loki looked at you with eyes full of tenderness. Hesitantly, he reached out and began to fiddle with the edge of your blanket.

“Feeling better?”

“Yes,” you blushed, snuggling further into your cocoon.

“Good. I hate to see you so tense.”

“Awwe,” you sighed, scrunching your nose at him.

He rolled his eyes and covered your face with his hand, but you could hear him laughing softly.

Once you'd fallen still again, he very slowly removed his hand. Peering back up at him, your breath caught as he traced a finger along your cheekbone before hovering just above your skin.

It was a bit of a struggle, and required a fair amount of squirming, but you managed to wrangle your hand out of the blanket. Lifting it halfway, you let the tip of your finger brush his. He froze, his hand stilling, and you couldn’t stop yourself. Your touch trailed down to his knuckle, and your middle finger lightly grazed his pinky.

He scoffed like he couldn’t believe what you were doing, and definitely couldn’t understand why. Furrowing his brows, he reached forward and softly poked your cheek, letting his fingertips rest against your jaw for only a moment before pulling away.

“You baffle me sometimes, you know that?” he whispered. “But… I’m glad you came.”

Your face split into a grin, and you had just opened your mouth when Loki interrupted you.

“Ah-ah, don’t say anything,” he waved his finger through the air like he might press it to your lips. “Just… sleep, alright? You can continue baffling me in the morning.”

You snorted, tracing a line down his wrist as you dropped your hand onto the bed.

“Alright fine.”

As if on cue, you yawned loudly. Loki chuckled, tugging the blanket tighter around you. There was no possibility of escape now.

You’d never slept so well in your life.

And though there were no serial killers hiding in the compound's nonexistent attic, Loki still wrapped his arm protectively around your waist.

Just in case, he told himself.

#loki x reader #loki x you #loki x gn!reader #loki and reader #loki and you #loki fluff #loki comfort #loki fanfic #loki #loki laufeyson #ao3 link #AO3 fanfic

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itchyeye · 2 months

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(Same anon asking for Podcast Recs)

I'm okay with non-fiction/non-fantasy stuff as well! I'm into a lot of things personally, and I also don't like true crime stuff for the same reasons as you do. I'd still be open to hearing any recs of casts you liked! ^^

Thanks for taking the time to answer!

yaaaaay ok here are some of my favorites. i listen to everything on spotify just for convenience but i do know that this sort of limits my options since plenty of podcasts aren't available on the platform

no such thing as a fish

[infomercial voice] if you're a fan of QI (which i am) you'll absolutely love this spin-off show run and written by the research elves

really great banter and really excellent mini deep-dives on a very wide variety of topics

super engaging and fun, funny and entertaining, excellent for long car rides

stuff you should know (sysky)

i don't normally like shows that are just banter-based, because it's really rare that i find the hosts interesting enough that their private/personal conversations matter to me, but i got used to josh and chuck and became really fond of them

my major qualm is that they sell themselves as a deep-dive podcast but they very barely scratch the surface of their topics, so if it's a topic i already know a lot about i get really annoyed at how surface-level they are

HOWEVER, this is one of my go-to podcasts for long drives because the sound mixing is great, the hosts are charming, and the topics are super varied!

heaven's gate

this is one of my favorite podcast projects ever. beautifully narrated, extensively and intensively researched. i had to pull over a few times because i was crying and couldn't drive safely.

the narrator/author is someone who himself grew up in a cult that his parents eventually left. he speaks with such deep compassion and understanding.

this is SO incredibly and thoroughly well researched.

the HBO docu series that was inspired by this podcast PALES in comparison. it sucks. it totally wastes the incredible access to survivors and archival footage to say like... nothing of value. but this podcast is absolutely incredible. a real journalistic feat.

bundyville part i & part ii

another of my all-time favorites, a meticulously researched deep-dive into the rise of a specific alt right movement in the american west. really gripping, with excellent research, fantastic writing, and great sound mixing.

winds of change

this series examines a conspiracy theory that the scoprions song winds of change was written by the cia as a psyop to encourage anti-communist pro-western movements behind the iron curtain

this one is fun, but if you have ties to russia, or even more broadly to eastern europe, the extremely american host's shallow perspective on the ussr and more broadly the post-cold war era is.... extremely irritating. to say the least.

9/12

a series about the immediate aftermath of 9/11 that i really enjoyed! includes an interesting mix of perspectives.

queer as fact

an episodic series created by a group of australian grad students about queer historic figures!!

really well researched and very informative! plus the hosts don't interrupt one another all the time trying to get the best joke in, they're really interested and engaged and want to learn about the things the others are saying

not the best sound engineering, something it's hard to hear, especially when driving

i genuinely want so badly for them to do an episode on sade and they never will, which pains me personally

the feminine art of radicalisation

really excellent series that talks about the alt right pipeline specifically for white women and what attracts them to the movement

#[💌] asks and replies #anonymous

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darlinboypresley · 2 years

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lotta true crime pt 2

pairing: serialkiller!austin x reader

summary: serial killer Austin kidnaps reader who has a podcast about true crime with her friends cus she saw something she shouldn't

trigger warnings: mentions of murder and well death kidnapping Stockholm syndrome.. mentions of various serial killers talk of blood and knifes psychotic thinking... and smut in the next chapters last but not least my shitty writing

authors note: it's spooky month so here is serial killer Austin on the way to make you all swoon. hehe hehe please i swear i'm sane and honestly if you cant handle this subject please leave it and don't pay anymind to it

tags: @asshlyyyy @bob-the-tomato @rainydayz101 @marlowmode @kittenlittle24

You groaned softly as you heard the soft sound of a record player playing. You couldn’t put your mind to what song it was. Your eyes slowly flutter open as you look around the room it was a 50s. Styled house and the sun shined slightly troughs the blinds.

You groaned softly as you looked around some more. It was a pretty house you were gonna give him that much you noticed you weren’t exactly tied down…. Which was a bit weird seeing you did get kidnapped. You got up groaning slightly in pain as you looked at the door you saw a tall man lean against it.

He let out a slight mocking chuckle as he spoke up “awe cmon lil bunny I didn’t hit you that hard”. He said mockingly, you were lying to yourself if you couldn’t admit that he was pretty it was a weird mix between pretty masculine and incredibly hot.

Then yet again he did kill someone last night and did proceed to kidnap you after that. But god was he pretty he has iris blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. He was tall and had the most perfect lips you’d ever seen on a man before.

The man chuckled and looked at you “staring ain’t polite Yano that much right.” He said in a deep voice and you looked up at him “kidnapping people isn’t polite either yet here I am… and just so you know neither is killing peopjle…” you said a bit unsure of yourself.

He chuckled dryly as he looked at your dress “that’s a bit cold for autumn hm… I’ll get you some clothes.” He said as he walked into the room and opened the closet doors. You looked at him confused maybe even a bit taken back by his action.

“Why didn’t you kill me… are you going to?” You asked trying your best not give away how scared you were. He sighed softly and turned to you. “Have you sinned? Hurt anyone else in an inhuman way” he asked walking closer to you holding sweats and a grey shirt.

You gulped and shook your head to be honest you hadn’t even had your first kiss yet. Never even looked at a boy never cross your mind “no never” you admitted quietly.

The man smirked lightly and looked at “then we’re all good baby… I won’t hurt you not yet depends on how easily I get sick of you but your stuck with me for a good while… now get changed” he said as he walked out of the room closing the door behind him so he’d give you some privacy.

You couldn’t help but have a familiar feeling towards him. As if you met him before he was older that you that was one thing that you were sure about but that was all really… your recognized his voice, his face you’d never forget those blue eyes.

You shook the thought of you, you needed to get out here you walked out of the door and to the kitchen. You looked around curios it looked so… so normal almost to normal.

You took a seat on the kitchen island as you tried not to freak out too much. He chuckled and turned to you “you know I can feel that you’re tense right?” He said as he made eye contact with you.

You looked away ignoring his gaze “I mean you’d be tense if you’d been kidnapped.” You mumbled and looked down at your lap. He sighed and rolled his eyes “listen your only making this hard on yourself y/n” he said slightly annoyed.

You looked at him with a shocked expression. “H-how… how do you know my name..” you asked and gulped definitely scared for your life now. He laughed and shook his head. “Oh baby the whole internet knows your name… I listen to your podcast… I like it like the way you think” he admit and crossed his arms over his chest.

You nodded your head “right…. Right” you said as you looked at the windows trying to find a way to escape. The windows had sensors that could sense any movement Outside or inside. You moved your head to the door and well that didn’t look much better.

The door had a lock on it with a keypad for a 4 to 10 digit code. You moved your head to the back door and sighed softly the minute you saw the same keypad. You cursed yourself mentally as you heard a stiff laugh coming from the serial killer across you.

“Your smart doll face I’ll give you that but you didn’t think I’d be that stupid right…. Kidnap someone let them have free range over my house…. Without having a very expensive alarm system” he chuckled and looked at you.

“Listen I don’t got allot of rules okay just stay in the house.. not that I’ll let you go outside don’t make a run for it. I’ll feed you and take good care of you and one thing that’s off limits is MY room.* he said and gave you a stern look. You gulped and looked at him.

“Please just let me go I won’t tell anyone who you are I promise just please let me go I have friends who’ll worry and my parents…. My professors my fans” you plead and he let out a laugh.

“Oh but darling” he said walking over to you eyes darker than before you gulped and took a step back your back hitting the wall shit you were trapped. “You’re mine.. and you think your friends will care who? The once who talk over you all the time? And be honest to me”.

He said grabbing your face “when was the last time you spoke to your parents… and yours fans baby yours fans couldn’t care less” he spat as his grip on your jaw tightened. If you weren’t scare before you sure as hell were now. You were shaking as if you’d just spent a while afternoon in a snowstorm.

He sighed softly “listen okay I don’t gotta lot of rules like I said… you can even use me as a lab rat… you’re studying psychology and criminology right” he asked. And you nodded your head his hand still on your jaw.

“You can play my therapist find out why I’m like this” he leaned his head closer to your ear as he whispered. “I bet you’ll love that hm?” He hummed in your ear and if you were honest if he wasn’t completely insane you’d let this man do whatever he wanted to you.

You nodded still not giving up to find a way to escape. “I’ll even give you my name “ he whispered again as you nodded your head slowly. Body tensing up

He smirked and let out a chuckle and whispered in your ear again “my names Austin…… Austin butler”.

this is halloween everybody make a scene

part 2 out of 10? of lotta true crime let me know what you guys think

love j xxx

#austin butler #x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler x reader #elvis movie #austin butler fanfiction #elvis 2022 #austin butler elvis #austinbutler!elvisxreader #elvis presley #serial killer austin #hot psychos #serial killer #horror #halloween

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celestialcrowley · 3 months

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Hiii. 9, 23 & 30 from the ask game 💜

Hi, bestie!

*chugs six shots of espresso*

9. What calms you down?

🐦‍⬛ Dogs. Listening to music. True crime. I have a favorite podcast about that. Getting lost in nature. History. Witchy things and spooky stuff. Food. I love eating. I’m like a hobbit. Stargazing. I also love celestial shit. 😂 I’ve saved the best for last, and it’s probably going to make me sound insane. Hella cleaning my car. There’s something about making him (shhh, don’t judge me) look beautiful. Well, more beautiful than he already is. That’s actually happening this weekend. It’s long overdue.

I’m in love with my car.

23. Favorite piece of clothing?

🔮 Decisions, decisions… May I choose more than one? It’s so basic, but I love my St. Augustine Dark of the Moon shirt. Other favorite shirts are as follows: Custom Stranger Things Chief Hopper, my Halloween on a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair witch shirt, my Good Omens Crowley shirt, and my salty to the bone skull shirt. Favorite shorts/pants are my dark gray camouflage shorts and my dark blue scrubs pants. My favorite hats are my steampunk hat and my official army hat given to me by my brother — which my dog got ahold of, so now it has character.

30. What reminds you of home?

🪐 Ooh, another tough question. I don’t exactly know how to answer this one. Palm trees? The ocean? Flamingos? Sandhill cranes? Can y’all guess where I live? No cheating. And go!

Thank you for the ask, @sad-chaos-goblin 💚

#the ghost speaks

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chezzywezzy · 2 years

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Yandere Ryan Erzahler (1/6)

Word count ; 4.0k

*Edited:3

I leaned against Ryan’s shoulder, zoning out completely. We were in the main lodge, sitting by the doorway, sharing earbuds. I wasn’t surprised when the first thing he wanted to do, upon the ‘official’ return of our phones, was listen to Bizarre Yet Bonafide in the open. I knew he was eager to finally listen to the podcast about Hackett’s Quarry itself - even if it was just the retelling of a silly campfire story. I was a fan of the podcast, but I always thought Ryan was the better storyteller.

Ryan was not a very open individual, but I could tell I’d made his summer a lot easier by being his roommate. Again.

Ryan was humming along, and my eyes flitted up to his expression. He was relaxed. Eyes shut, head back, lips slightly parted. I was an extroverted person, so I liked it when Ryan was happy. That was when it was either when we were together hanging out privately, or he was alone.

Ryan had his legs extended, and mine were pulled to my chest, my arms hugging them. In one hand, he held his phone, and the other was drumming on my knee softly to an invisible tune. We made momentary eye contact, his dark orbs swirling with fondness, before they flustered shut again. However, now that his mouth had shut, a smile tugged at his generally stoic face.

I was about to shut my eyes again, tuning back into the podcast. I loved horror, but I preferred other true-crime podcasts. The two speaker’s voices just… rubbed me the wrong way. It was too high-pitched and annoying. However, Ryan adored them, so I couldn’t help but not voice my opinion. If anything, Bizarre Yet Bonafide was to thank for our friendship at all.

It was funny. The memory of when we first met was fuzzy. However, whenever I asked Ryan, he always recited the same story, as though he knew it like the back of his hand: I walked up to him in the campus cafeteria, where he was sitting alone. I sat next to him and stole an earbud. From there, we bonded over our shared love of mystery, crime, and horror. He was more than excited to introduce me to the podcast.

I suddenly became alert at the sound of distant chatter. Ryan tensed immediately, looking at me with a quirked brow. A grin slowly pulled across my features. I nudged his shoulder, and with half-lidded eyes, he quirked a brow.

“What?”

“I think it’s time to go! Everyone else sounds like they’re out front,” I exclaimed.

Ryan knew better than no-one that, as much as I loved nature and kids, I missed my family and the privacy of my own bedroom. Ryan probably did too, even though he had a close connection with the Hackett family. We were roommates back in our college town, but I was sure he looked forward to having his own room. Apparently, I snored.

Ryan exhaled quietly and collected his things. We rose to our feet and, out of habit, I entangled my arm with his. He tucked the phone into his pocket and we grabbed our suitcases. As I caught wind of the conversation, though, I tugged on Ryan to make him stop. I’d heard his name. We hovered in the doorway, just out of view from the campers below.

“…Oh, yeah. He’s probably off being all brooding and mysterious and alluring somewhere while Y/n tags along,” Dylan spoke up from below.

I nudged Ryan again, muttering to him, "Hear that? You’re mysterious and alluring. The camp bad boy.”

Ryan only scoffed playfully, and we listened some more.

“Alluring is right,” Kaitlyn seconded. “The girls and I all agreed, Y/n included, mind you, that Ryan was the hottest councilor. Followed by Chris, then you, Dylan, yotta yotta…”

“And where am I on that list?” Jacob piped up.

“The bottom,” Emma snickered, although I already knew the poor guy would take that comment to heart.

“So, you think I’m the hottest?” Ryan mumbled, sending me an amused glance.

I sent a stern look up, since Ryan was incredibly tall. I quipped in return, "No comment.”

“God, where are those two? Making out in a bush?” Kaitlyn complained. Which was enough for me to kick myself out of the doorway and drag Ryan with me.

“Here!” I called from the porch. Everyone’s eyes were glued to us, and I felt Ryan shrink in discomfort. He’d confided in me about his social anxiety before, so it was more of a reason to pull him closer. We arrived at the base of the stairs, and Dylan snickered.

“What were you guys doing up there? Having a party?”

Ryan shrugged, his graphic tee-shirt wrinkling as his arms bobbed. “Uh.. we were listening to a podcast, actually.”

“Oh! A podcast, nice. That’s cool,” Dylan hummed, nodding in a friendly manner. I sent him a smile, which he returned whole-heartedly. Other than Ryan - obviously - I really got along with the boy. Everyone thought he was a braindead himbo, but we’d shared many conversations about biochemistry during our time at camp. We were both total science geeks.

“What’s it about?”

“Yeah, what’s it about? Is it about lo-o-ove?”

The entire summer, the other councilors got a kick out of shipping us together. Ryan always got tense and embarrassed, but I always shrugged it off. I would’ve found it funny if it didn’t make Ryan so embarrassed. His eyes shifted to me, so I could tell he was done talking.

“As if. What would that even be about?” I chortled. “It’s actually a paranormal podcast. The episode we were listening to was about this place, actually. The… Hag of Hackett’s Quarry.”

“The who of the whatsit where now?” Kaitlyn inquired further, quirking a brow. “What’s the Hag of Hackett’s Quarry?”

“You don’t know about the Hag of Hackett’s Quarry?” Dylan sarcastically added. “Tell her about the Hag of Hackett’s Quarry, why don’t you?”

Ryan chuckled, and I was glad Dylan’s positivity was infectious. I continued, "It’s just this campfire story for the kids. It’s, um… the one Ryan told at some point. There’s supposedly an old lady who died in a fire a few years ago. She haunts the woods looking for her lost son. Pretty basic horror stuff. Ryan’s definitely the better story teller.”

“Yeah, uh,” Ryan started, "There are, like, reports of whispers, or whatever, and this figure that floats around. You know, textbook ghost stuff. Some people say that if she catches you alone, she’ll try to turn you into her son. Or, kill you, or something. I don’t know. It’s never really been clear. Anyways, Hag of Hackett’s Quarry.”

I unlinked my arms and did some ecstatic jazz hands when he finished. Ryan chuckled, although he made sure to wrap his arm around my shoulders loosely.

“Y - you made that up,” Kaitlyn stuttered, somewhat rattled from the explanation. Again, Ryan was a great story teller.

“It’s right here in the podcast, man,” Ryan retorted, pulling his phone out momentarily.

“Cool story, bro,” Jacob chided.

“Seriously, though, Y/n’sright. You should’ve seen the first time he told the story at the campfire. They were scarred for life.”

A laugh bubbled in my throat, and Ryan quickly defended, "I mean, not for life…”

“What’s the hold up, Hacketteers?”

Our conversation was cut shot as our attention was drawn up to Chris Hackett, who was leaning on the rails above us. He still adorned his camp uniform and his keychain was strung around his neck. He had a friendly smile on his face, hands clasped together.

“Hey, yeah, uh - we’re nearly done, Mr. H!” Jacob called back, waving enthusiastically.

“Nearly done, huh? Get those butts in gear!” Chris playfully remarked.

“Sorry, Mr. H, we had to liberate some luggage,” Emma agreed.

“Shut up!” Abby hissed in embarrassment.

“Maybe if somebody didn’t spend so much time trying to impress his lady with his ghost story…” Kaitlyn chuckled.

“You asked!” Ryan shot back defensively, and pulling me closer. I had to hop and readjust my footing, not commenting on his tenseness. I knew that, even when spending time with the group all summer, he was still not too familiar with them. Minus Dylan, since he tried really hard to break the barrier.

“Ghost stories?”

“The Hag of Hackett’s Quarry.”

Chris exhaled sharply, rubbing his forehead. “Ugh.”

“Hey, do you still have the van key, Mr. H?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Why, yes I do!” He stood straight and shuffled through his pockets. He sighed, though. “You know, I’d lose my head if it wasn’t stuck on. Back to the office I go. Give me a hand, wouldn’t you, Ryan?”

Ryan and Chris finally returned, and Ryan had the keys in hand. I stood up straight, crossing my arms in anticipation. As nice as a nature retreat was, I was eager to be in the modern world again. Oh, and to be away from all of the petty camp drama. And, no, I do not mean the kids. I meant the councilors, who had acted like middle schoolers all summer.

“Oh, okay,” Ryan agreed, reluctantly separating from me. He sent me one last glance as he went on his merry way. I watched in amusement as Dylan tried and failed to get his phone charged before we left. While I waited, I hoisted my suitcases into the trunk of the van and leaned against the car. I took note of how my fellow councilors were with each other. Nick and Abby would send fleeting, abashed glances at one another, Jacob looked miserable, Emma was… Emma, and Dylan was talking to Jacob about something silly.

“Wait, how did you get our phone back before the rest of us —" Dylan started.

“Because I never turned it in,” Ryan smugly interrupted.

“You should’ve turned it off before you handed it in, Dylan,” Chris stated. “Them’s the rules, you noob.”

I had a hard time resisting laughter from Chris’s attempted use of modern slang. I figured he got it from the kids. Chris handed Jacob the keys as he walked past. Ryan was quick to saddle up next to me, crossing his arms. Although he was comfortable with Mr. Hackett, it rubbed off now that he’d returned to the group.

“I try not to dwell on the past, man.”

“Good, because it’s time to dwell on the minivan and get on with our respective lives!” Jacob hopped into the front seat and I opened the side door, preparing to hop in. “Move it, let’s go!”

However, the van started making odd noises, and I took a step back with furrowed brows. It kept churning and the engine didn’t start at all. I tilted my head as Chris vocalized everyone’s thoughts.

“What’s the problem?”

“Ugh… dude, I don’t know. I - I think there’s something wrong with the engine, Mr. H,” Jacob answered, waving his arms expectantly.

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“Yeah, dude, it’s just like… kaput!”

Ryan frowned, walking up to the the window immediately. “Alright, let me try.”

“What? Dude, I’m telling you, alright, it’s busted!”

“‘Well, maybe you’re doing it wrong.”

“Duh, 'well maybe you’re doing it wrong’!” Jacob mocked, and Ryan froze in place.

“The fuck, dude?”

“Enough! Enough, both of you,” Chris intervened. “Shit. Come on, let’s go.”

“Alright, dude, chill!”

Chris and Jacob changed places, although it only yielded the same results. I walked over to Ryan, peering into the window with him. I rubbed his back, and his shoulders drooped just enough to satisfy me. However, another problem had clearly arisen as Chris’s expression morphed into stress.

“Damn it! I thought I told you kids to check everything!” he scolded angrily.

“We did! It should be working…” Kaitlyn squeaked.

“Yeah, well, could and should doesn’t mean it is, does it?” He kept trying the engine, cursing even louder. He finally stepped out of the car, his hands trembling furiously. “Okay. Okay.”

“Well, what’s the big deal?” Jacob mentioned. “We’ll just have to spend another night here. It’s no biggie.”

“No. No!” he boomed. “Just stop. Let me think.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed in disscontempt. He paused, and we all watched and waited expectantly. I already knew Ryan wasn’t happy about the prospect. Also, in the back of my mind, I suspected Jacob had something to do with the engine in a frivolous attempt to chase love.

Chris finally halted his pacing. “Okay, okay. You’re right. Yeah, you're right.” He suddenly tossed the keys our way, and Ryan caught them with ease. Confusion was plastered over all of our expressions at his outburst. “Hey, Ryan. Come here for a second.”

As he fled to his jeep, he beckoned the man over. Ryan followed, leaving me and Jacob in awe at the change of plans. I couldn’t hear much of what Chris had said, but as the jeep started up, I assumed Ryan would relay the information. Ryan was uneasy as the jeep sped away.

“Lock the doors!” Chris shouted. “And for god’s sake, keep the noise down!”

“So… what was that all about?” I inquired, and everyone’s attention went to Ryan.

“He, uh… said to stay inside. That we’re not leaving until the morning,” Ryan answered, scratching the side of his head in bewilderment.

“Are. You. Kidding. Me?” Emma sighed in irritation.

“Em-m-m,” Jacob flirtatiously cooed.

“Are you kidding me? What are we supposed to do?” Emma boomed suddenly.

“Well, we should go inside. Like he said,” Ryan insisted.

“We could go inside until morning,” Dylan agreed. “Or… Or we could do something else.”

“What… are you talking about?”

“No Mr. Hackett. No screaming kids. Just a bunch of grown-ass adults ready to cut loose and get down with their animal side.”

“Oh-h-h, hell yeah!” Jacob cheered, catching on immediately.

“P-A-R-T-Y. Why the fuck not? It seems like the stars have aligned for us, no?”

Ryan was shaking his head insistently. I distanced myself from the van, joining the circle. His jaw was clenched and I could tell he was not on board. However, I clapped my hands in excitement, earning a glare from the boy.

“I’m totally down!” I agreed instantly.

“Okay, okay, okay…”

“One last epic bonfire blowout for all time,” Dylan continued.

“Jesus Christ,” Jacob grumbled.

He allowed us to collect our thoughts. Nobody was disagreeing, much to my joy. However, that was cut short by Ryan. “I don’t think he was just trying to freak us out, Jacob. I think he was really freaked out by something.”

“Chris seemed really serious about this, guys.”

Dylan shook his head. “Y/n, you’re in, obviously. Come on, Ryan. Just say you’re in. One last night won’t hurt any of us. He won’t even know.”

“Yeah, but I promised —"

“No, no, dude. It’s all good. Alright, we get it, you know,” Jacob taunted. “You, uh, don’t want to disappoint ‘daddy’.”

“Someone’s got to give a shit, dude —" Ryan aggressively continued, but I cut him off.

“He’s in, guys.” Ryan sent me a glare as I placed a hand on his shoulder. I sent him a reassuring smile. “Ryan, it’ll be fine. What do we have to worry about, bears?”

“Alright, alight, alright, Hacketteers! Party planning committee. Let’d do this! Um, okay,” Jacob began. “First things first. Nick and Abby, you go get some firewood. Um, Emma and I will go to the store for some supplies. And, uh, Dylan and Y/n, you just… I don’t know, figure out how to charge the phones or something. Alright, let’s do this!”

I was completely hyped for the party, a grin spreading on my face. Ryan still had a firm frown, but Dylan and I exchanged glances. We knew exactly what to do.

As the group dispersed, I grabbed both Ryan and Dylan’s arms, pulling us together. Ryan tug for freedom, suspicion laced in his eyes. I didn’t give him the chance to be a negative Nancy, though. “Ryan, you have the keys to Mr. Hackett’s lodge. Care to escort us?”

Ryan scoffed. “We’re already breaking enough rules as it is, Y/n —"

“Rules were meant to be broken, my friend,” Dylan chimed in, tugging us in the general direction of the office.

Ryan sighed, caving, and we were off. Dylan was bursting with excitement, vocalizing his hopes that Jacob and Emma stumbled across some alcohol. Ryan was silent the whole walk. We finally arrived at the office and he pulled out the keys, unlocking the door. It swung open.

Dylan hopped into the room, leaving me and Ryan to linger in the doorway. “Alright… the inner sanctum!”

“It’s just an office.”

“This is where the magic happens,” he insisted, holding up his phone.

“Yeah. Let’s just make this quick.” Ryan ushered me in, closing the door behind us.

I wandered over to the desk curiously. I couldn’t help but pick up a family portrait of Chris and his kids. Ryan talked about them often, since he had a close, personal connection, but I’d only met them a few times. They seemed sweet, though.

“So… podcasts?”

I set the frame back down, turning and leaning on the desk as I watched them engage in conversation. I appreciated how Dylan was trying to break down Ryan’s walls. He was going down the right path, too, since it was the same podcast that did it for our friendship.

Ryan nodded, straining a smile. “Yeah.”

“Alright.” He paused, trying to find a way to continue the conversation. “Uh, what’s it called? The one you’re listening to right now?”

“Uh, Bizarre Yet Bonafide.”

“So, like, ghosts and stuff?”

Ryan scratched his neck. “It’s like… the weird and wonderful.” Dylan had opened the dam, much to my joy. “Digging up weird mysteries and discussing if they’re, well, bonafide.”

“‘Boner’ fide. Get it? Boner? Heh.”

“God, you’re such a child,” I giggled, embarrassed by how much he’d secretly made me laugh. Ryan glanced at me, while Dylan sent me finger guns.

“Your wit knows no bounds.”

“So… should we check out what Mr. H keeps in his private den of sin?”

“Ah, I don’t know, man. I feel weird going through his stuff.”

“Okay, well, I don’t. I mean, come on, what kind of dirty secrets does the owner of a summer camp have anyways?”

Ryan scoffed, his eyes sending me a plea. “You’ve got my back, don’t you, Y/n? It’s a little mean to snoop around.”

Both of their eyes remained on me. I bit my lip and shrugged. “I always have your back, Ryan. Except now. Because I have a hunch that Mr. Hackett has a secret stash of beer in this room as we speak.”

“Hell yeah, he does. Or maybe a sex dungeon!”

“Escandelo.”

Ryan sighed, leaning against the wall. The keys were dangling in his hand. Dylan walked around the desk, inspecting the contents. I went over and plopping in the wheeled chair, laying back to relax. I for one would leave the exploration up to Dylan and his beautiful brain. And I would leave the brooding to Ryan, because at this point, he was pretty darn good at it.

I giggled as I spun in the chair, which made Ryan join me by the desk. “I could get used to this chair, baby-y-y.”

Ryan snickered, gazing at me fondly. “You better hope Mr. H doesn’t catch you taking his baby out for a joyride.”

Dylan went over to the bedroom door, but to his chagrin, it was locked. He tried the handle again with a pout. Ryan’s attention was brought back to the man, all fondness from his eyes fading. It wasn’t hard to tell he wasn’t having a good time.

“Yo, my guy, toss me the keys.”

“Uh, so you can poke around in Chris’s private area?”

“I’m sorry, is that something that only you’re allowed to do?”

Ryan scowled.

“Come on, what’s the harm in looking? You’re not a little bit curious? I’m not going to touch anything.”

“Sure you will, Dylan,” I chuckled fro the sidelines.

“…Fine. Don’t let me regret it.”

Ryan tossed him the keys, which Dylan caught with ease. He unlocked the door before tossing them back. I leaned my head against the chair and shut my eyes. Ryan walked off, but ruffled my hair before doing so. I wasn’t surprised that he was accompanying Dylan.

I was convinced that if Ryan was a little more openminded, he and Ryan would have great chemistry.

“Woah, hey…!”

“Hey, hey! Maybe we shouldn’t…”

I listened from the sidelines as they explored the other room. The conversation quickly died off. I still heard it from a distance, but it seemed they were exploring some sort of bathroom. I let them explore. I was planning on saving a nap for the ride home, but now that that wasn’t happening anytime soon…

“Hey, we’re all done here.”

I gasped, startled at the close proximity Ryan was at. He was right beside the chair, while Dylan was cheekily standing with his phone in hand. Ryan laughed at my reaction, but I was quick to hop to my feet.

“It’s not that cool —"

“God, Y/n, you won’t believe what we found —"

“Mr. H has a secret room in his closet! All sorts of security cameras are set up around the camp. Plus, he has all sorts of blueprints. Isn’t that weird as hell?”

“Damn, really? I want to see —"

“No, nope,” Ryan interjected again, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “We should be off then. For someone who’s looking to party, though, you can’t seem to stay awake.”

I pouted, sending the man a playful glare. “You guys were taking forever. And Dylan, you can’t tell me there wasn’t even one bottle of beer around?”

“Nope. Notta. Except for his deep dark secrets, Mr. H is incredibly dull.”

I groaned, allowing the pair and I to leave. I was still little tired out, but once we joined the group again, I knew my energy would be up. There was a pep in my step, although Ryan always made sure to calm me down regardless. We sauntered up to the campfire, where Kaitlyn had just finished taking a photo.

“Hey Kaitlyn, guess what! Mr. H is a voyeuristic creep,” Dylan declared, separating from us. Ryan immediately sighed, but I giggled, indicating that the man had been doing. “He has hidden cameras everywhere, and a secret room.”

“No, that’s not —"

“Back up. What?”

“His eyes are everywhere. He’s always watching us.”

“Well, actually, he just watches the trails,” I spoke up. “He’s probably keeping an eye out for stray campers and bears.”

“Exactly, Y/n. Thank you.”

“Oh.” Kaitlyn backed down, no longer caring about the new information.

“So, uh… what’s going on here? Everything ready?” Ryan inquired awkwardly.

“I did see a weird light in the treehouse across the lake,” Kaitlyn admitted. “It was pretty spooky. Maybe it’s that Hag you’re so obsessed with.” Ryan laughed haughtily, but Kaitlyn continued, "You know, I just realized we may never see each other again after tonight. I mean, other than you two, since you literally live with each other, but…”

“You’re just realizing that?” Dylan chuckled.

“I’m just trying to set the mood!”

Dylan plopped down on some wood, fetching a playlist on his phone. Ryan pulled me over to sit too, and I leaned against his shoulder as we waited. It was just in time, too, because Nick and Abby rejoined the group. And right after, with a goddamn wheelbarrow, Jacob and Emma appeared.

#yandere #x reader #x y/n #self insert #the quarry #max brinly #laura kearney #kaitlyn ka #abigail blyg #ryan erzahler #ryan ezrahler #ryan x reader #yandere ryan #yandere the quarry #yandere quarry #ryan x dylan #yandere x reader

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silverzoomies · 5 months

Note

I’m so curious to see who you’d ship me with because I completely trust your judgement… so here goes nothing. 🌸💐🌷

-I’m a 23 year old female who’s currently in college for criminal justice and psychology. I’m awful at math but love love love science.

-I love animals, I have lots of snakes, lizards, fish, dogs, cats. I’m not opposed to anything besides spiders

-I love listening to music and my favorite artists are Taylor swift, Hozier, P!nk, and Kelly Clarkson. I like to think I’m a creative person but idk. I like to craft and scrapbook, make jewelry etc.

-im a perfectionist and if Im not instantly good at something I get very frustrated.

-I also have depression (yay) anxiety, autism, and possible ADD. People have told me I’m good at ‘hiding’ it and ‘fitting in’ though.

-im super shy in real life. Like beyond shy. Im not a fan of physical touch but if it was someone I really liked, I wouldn’t mind. My love language is gift giving.

-I like to cook, I play piano and guitar, and I like to go on a lot of spontaneous adventures because if my mind comes up with an idea I have to play it out that moment or I go insane.

-im pretty good at adjusting to any environment and tend to mimic people to fit in. I like to people watch and kind of mirror their personality and actions.

-winter is my favorite season and Halloween is my favorite holiday. I’d say I’m a pretty morbid person by societies standards. Like animals in jars and black clothes… listening to true crime podcasts to fall asleep. Stuff like that. I’m kind of goth, I’d say? I also love makeup and rarely leave the house without it on

oh...oh my gosh...ohohohohoh buckle up, my good buddy pal,, i've got a super fun one for you !!! i'm gonna put a read more, since this one's kinda long !! you gave me a lot of detail to work with !!

✧❁❁✧✿✿✧❁❁✧🧡💛📚🧡💛✧❁❁✧✿✿✧❁❁✧

right off the bat, you talk about studying criminal justice and psychology. which are very respectable fields of education. it sounds to me like you're really takin' your education seriously !! and that's wonderful !! y'know...that kinda reminds me of a certain boy...

so, y'know who also takes his education pretty seriously? a guy who wants to change the world for the better? i'm def thinkin' of pre-death kyle for you. sorry. SORRY, OKAY !! i know what you're thinkin'...oh, zoomies, you're only saying this because i've got kyle in my url. ABSOLUTELY NOT !!

you make yourself out to be such a genuine sweetheart with a wide range of interests !! you're creative and down to earth - both of which are traits i think kyle would absolutely swoon over !! you treat animals with kindness, and you love every single one. c'mon...doesn't he seem like the same ?? if you showed him the super gnarly pets you have, i know for a gosh dang fact he'd think they're the coolest ever !!

mans unapologetically loves music. dude was so open about how much he liked toto. based btw. i can totally see him vibin' to your favorite tunes too. bobbin' his head, singin' along. no matter how feminine the songs seem, he really wouldn't care !! he'd have fun with 'em anyway !!

i think he wouldn't want you to hide how you feel, or mask yourself for the sake of fitting in. he likes you for your genuine self. the creative person you are, with all your talents - writing, music, cooking, making jewelry. he'd want you to be yourself openly and freely. and he'd be super patient and encouraging about it too !! kyle's a sweetheart !! you put two sweethearts together ?? recipe for love !! 💛🧡❤️

#txt #asks #frankenkyle19 #adore and love you always btw !!

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lycanlovingvampyre · 1 year

Text

TMA Liveshow Relisten

Activity on my first listen: cutting the jasmine and Buddleja in my garden.

ALEX: "The audio in today’s episode was recorded at our first Magnus liveshow as part of the London Podcast Festival Presents audio drama event in 2019." First (?) Magnus liveshow? Just curious, were there more than one shows? I only ever saw content from this on.

ALEX: "The events take place prior to the first episode of The Magnus Archives, and can be considered canon." Canon you say, eh? So does this mean, occasionally, The Magnus Archives actually IS a workplace comedy???

JON: "Right. Well, I’m sure I can figure it out, I was – (shaky inhale) – thinking of, uh – digitising some of the more commonly accessed statements and then – some – general… (trails off) …archiving." Everybody always asks "What is archiving?", but nobody asks "How is archiving...?" xD (plus it’s a show called “Archives” and nobody actually knows what that means in a workplace environment XD Comedy at its finest xD)

I love how with the laughs and how the actors actually... pause for laughter this actually feels like a 90s sitcom!

ROSIE: "Miss Robinson was getting… on, a little bit- and it must have been very hard for her. Did, um. Did you ever meet her at all?" JON: "Erm – not really; a few times – I don’t think she liked me much." [[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]] ROSIE: (audible grimace) "…No." So is it true, what the Stranger was leading on. Gertrude would have been so disappointed to see Jon become the new Archivist and how that's going.

JON: "I mean, there were a lot of rumors, floating around Research, obviously. According to them, she (sensationalizing) ‘died at this very desk.’" Always the curious one, always asking one too many questions.

[IMMEDIATELY, HE REACHES FOR A GLASS OF WATER, DRINKS IT, THEN PUTS THE GLASS DOWN WITH A HEAVY, CONTENTED SIGH.] [[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]] Apparently drinking water was funny? xDD

MARTIN: "Hey, sorry; you haven’t seen a dog, have you?" I love that we get to see that scene! It has been already established in the launch trailer (the one with the vigilo audio opperior whisper) where Jon says "I swear, if he’s brought another dog in here, I’m going to peel him." after calling out for Martin.

JON: "I’m s– Sorry, what?" MARTIN: "Um – Uh, a dog, a-a Spaniel, I think." JON: "In – In general, or?…" And that was the last time, Jon said anything not laced with contempt to Martin for about a year!

It's so funny how extremely anxious Martin is here. Because when we meet him for the first time in MAG 22 he doesn't sound THAT intimidated by Jon at all. Still, I guess it's pretty stressful already fucking up on the first day of your new position.

JON: "So I’m your boss." [PAUSE.] MARTIN: "I mean, I guess." [SMALL HEH.] [[SLIGHT LAUGHTER]] JON: "Which means that technically – (small, smug *heh*) – I have the power to – dismiss you, if this dog situation is not resolved immediately." [SLIGHT LAUGHTER]] MARTIN: "I mean, yeah, probably." [HE GIVES A SMALL LAUGH.] [[LAUGHTER]] Martin is just too deep in the gay headspace to realize that this has a subtext.

JON: "Well that’s – (exhale) not ideal." I mean, I kinda get it... He took a job he knows he's not qualified for. He asked the person to move down to the Archives with him who actually is qualified for this Job and is constantly overshadowed by her. He takes the job over from someone who mysteriously disappeared or died with the possibility that she had been the victim of a crime. The Archives are in an absolute state of chaos and he realizes he probably bit off more than he can chew. He gets that creepy feeling of being watched. And then, someone who at least seems less qualified than him (he later learns that Martin also might be more qualified and then again later learns that Martin is indeed super not-qualified at all...) has been assigned as his assistant without him knowing anything about it and that very person let a dog into the Archives! I'd probably be on the verge of a breakdown (without being an asshole though, most likely I’d beg the others to help me.)

So the statement of MAG 2 takes longer than the ambiance track xD

TIM: (coming into view) "Right, yeah. Oh! The Gillespie statement! That’s a proper weird one, right?" Ah, the old Tim energy!

TIM: "Oh, uh, yes, uh – mm. Hypothetically –" [[LAUGHTER]] TIM (CONT’D): "What would you say, if I said that there was a…" [HE TRAILS OFF. THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS.] TIM (CONT’D): "Dog." [[UPROAR OF LAUGHTER]] TIM (CONT’D): "Situation. In the Archives." Seriously, I'm pretty pleased with the amount of jokes there are in TMA, there are sooo many good ones. But I surely wouldn't mind something like these three scenes every once in a while as bonus! So I hope this stuff keeps coming occasionally in Protocol. These three scenes here are such a gem!

JON: "I would ask if it was getting worse?" TIM: (relaxing) "Okay, alright, cool, so, right –" Tim be like "Okay considering Jon's grumpy worksona, this is going pretty well so far!!"

JON: "Tim." TIM: "Hypothetically –" JON: "Tim!" TIM: "I – Yeah, yeah, there’s a dog situation in the Archives. There’s a – there’s a mess –" Tim gave up, he knows that Jon knows, no way to salvage this xD

JON: "Come on, let’s – (inhale) Let’s deal with this before it escalates." I love how they all went to hunt that dog down together xD Right after the pack dynamic domain episode!

TIM: "Oh, recording equipment, um – (blows air through teeth) Oh! Yeah, the – I think there are some old tape recorders in the storage." [BRIEF PAUSE.] JON: "That could work." You know, that is not sooooo out-of-this-world-ish... Just 2 weeks ago I came into the office fully bracing myself that I had to use the tape recorder that day because there was a big maintenance the week before (that was actually the reason I even showed up at all. Usually I’d stay in home office). System shutdown for several hours. Turns out, no one wants to use the bloody tape recorders anymore, so god knows what they did during maintenance.

Magnus outro song starts. Everybody sitting on nails like "Say the line, Alex!" Alex: "The Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under..."

@a-mag-a-day

#a-mag-a-day #tma liveshow #tma

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mangoslixes · 1 year

Note

hello my darling, hope everything is going well 🧡 ok now let’s talk business: could you give me a list of your 5 top favorite podcast, with a little description and your impressions? Please and thank you I’m super curious 🧡

Hello my love! I'm so sorry for disappearing, I've been drowning in finals season. But I'm finally free and here to talk about podcasts with you!

My current top 5 favourites are:

Arden: A fictional podcast about people making a true crime podcast. And it's modern Shakespearean retellings! I didn't know that bit when I started the show and after a while I connected the dots and it was all so interesting. An investigative journalist gets stuck making a podcast with an ex private detective, and they "hate" each other, so for the better half of the episode initially, it's just them arguing over small things. So if you like enemies to lovers, Shakespeare, true crime and a bite at capitalism with the most weirdest ad breaks I've ever heard, I'd highly recommend.

Mabel: it's a horror podcast, and it's about my favourite trope too, i.e, a fucked up house. It's about a carer leaving messages to her client's estranged granddaughter, Mabel. The narrative is so beautiful and haunting, I love it and the house too! I love the idea of houses that are haunting rather than haunted, abandoned houses rejecting humanity, houses that love or hate you to a destructive degree, houses that give too much to the point that they stifle you, houses that take too much until there's nothing left of you but a forgotten carcass at the mercy of time, just fucked up houses in general.

The Silt Verses: do you like the horror around Gods? Yes, the idea of gods existing is about mercy and humanity and generosity etc etc, but there's also the horror of Gods. Gods that are everywhere, within everything, but they're hungry and they need to be fed, they need to feed. They're always hungry, always starving. Gods whose ideas of generosity and miracles and gifts are so far from our own morals and ideas that it's just monstrous. Gods are everywhere and they're hungry. Good existential horror, makes me feel like this 🧍🏽‍♀️ when I listen to it.

Out of Sight: this!! This one's a bit hard to explain, but it's basically about this supernatural investigator and his partner Lazari. Each episode has a different supernatural mystery but they have Lazari's own troubles connecting them all. It's all about creepy legends, ghosts and two people trying to fix those problems while making a podcast out of it.

The White Vault: See I got attached to all of the characters, and that's what I'd recommend you not do because this is a found-footage style podcast. Now that we've got that covered, it's got five seasons, and I'll tell you how it starts and why it's terrifying. It starts with a repair team being sent to an arctic outpost, where they get stuck and are isolated for a while. Here things go south, because this is a horror podcast, so yes, things go down south incredibly fast. The voice cast is amazing, the sounds are amazing, and the details are gory. Then when we come to season 3, it gets worse, because we realize the monster was the least of our worries. Me and @queridaz lost our minds over this and I've still not finished season 5.

#asks #cat 🌝#podcasts #arden #mabel #the silt verses #the white vault #out of sight #I'm so sorry for the late reply #ive been all over the place and my uni wanted me ded #its been a fun month #but hiii #finally here

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the-ventriloquizt · 9 months

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Hello I saw Black Mask discussion and I just had to chime in! I need to read more comics on him defiantly to have a full opinion but I think something interesting is how he could parallel Batman (I know like, every villain does, but still lol). Both of them having dealt with trauma and forming these new, dark identities to deal with it, heavily focusing on a mask they wear, seeing they’re civilian identity as the fake persona.

I will also say 2 things I love and found very interesting were Roman’s backstory in this one comic (forgive me I’ve forgotten the name) where he took inspiration from Bruce Wayne’s parents death and decided to kill his own, tying their fates together forever. I think there’s something very messed up about that, the way he co-opted Bruce’s trauma and how like many other iconic villain hero pairs he’s forced them to have this shared connection, even if that wasn’t his intention in the comic. I think he could make a great main nemesis for Batman.

As well Mr. Rouges on YouTube has a great series called the Patient Files, HIGHLY reccomend! Great characterization of him and his bond to Batman. Anyway sorry if I rambled here too much, I just liked that there was good Black Mask discussion going on.

Thank you! I haven't read through all of his comics either, I've just read most of his earliest ones and his more recent ones. I've still gotta go through a bunch more, which I'm not exactly looking forward to… Though the comic you brought up is making me wanna get back to it. I think that sounds really interesting, I wish there was an easier way to find specific comics because I'd love to read that.

I think it's a really interesting connection between the two there, especially since it's something Roman chose on purpose. I've been listening to the Batman Audio Adventures podcast recently, and the mythologizing of the Wayne family's tragedy coming through as repetitive, ghoulish 'true crime' programs really got to me. Roman, with his weird attachment to symbology and how it makes identity, co-opting that kind of tragedy would be a cool twist on it.

I think it's kinda weird how little his criminal pursuits relate to Bruce Wayne for a lot of his appearances, given that his origin story is so tied to him. It's like he completely forgot that Bruce Wayne embarrassed him and that he'd wanted him dead.

I think that his Patient File there is really neat! I think I'll watch a few more, I love how I looked it up and it immediately showed me that there's a Ventriloquist video. Gotta say, it seems really bad when a lot of the people in the comments are like 'wow thank goodness he's not just a torture guy'. My favorite parts are him talking about Gotham being a bad city, and that Batman is misguided in trying to make it good, and then the fun nudge at Jeremiah about his 'mask' looking a lot like Roman's. Wait, and the thing about Harvey being the most honest of them all, given he's got two equally true visible faces. I think that's really interesting and it makes me wish they'd interact (though maybe they did I'm not sure...) Thank you so much for sharing this stuff with me, I really like talking about characters with everyone!

#black mask #roman sionis

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comradekatara · 2 years

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what’s in the gaang’s youtube history 📺

aang likes videos of people doing impressive skateboard tricks, video game speedruns, heartwarming videos titled smth like "WATCH THIS TO HAVE YOUR FAITH IN HUMANITY RESTORED", unlikely animal friends, cats being silly, puppies running around, comedy sketches with high production value, and whatever else 12 year old boys watch on youtube (lego??? minecraft??? pokemon??? i .... don't actually know)

katara is addicted to youtube almost as much as she is addicted to twitter. she watches so many longass videos on social/political issues and then tweets the creators about how one hour and forty three minutes into the video they stated an opinion that she personally disagreed with, and she demands an apology. she also loves elaborate makeup tutorials that she would never even bother to attempt to replicate (but she likes to think that maybe one day if she gets invited to the met gala, she now has some looks to choose from)

sokka's youtube library is extremely eclectic. he can't stop clicking on videos titled shit like "intro to particle physics" just to watch the entire thing and be like "why did i watch this i knew all that already." but yknow. he just had to make sure. he's a big fan of chris fleming, and he's made all his friends watch "gigi the christmas snake" multiple times. he's gone down a lot of rabbitholes in his day, but his personal favorite side of youtube is the videos of chemical reactions, especially the ones that end in an explosion.

toph occasionally enjoys listening to longass video essays about obscure topics, but mostly she just listens to podcasts. she’s also partial to this one video that’s just the sound of a chainsaw revving on a 10 hour loop, and she plays it at just the right volume that her parents will be like “what’s that awful noise?” to which she innocently responds “i don’t hear anything” and they’re like “oh no you must be able to hear it, it’s so annoying” and toph’s like “are you sure? it sounds normal to me.” she tries this on katara once, but katara gets so frustrated that she just yells “oh wow didn’t realize you were blind AND deaf” and that leads them to get in a very violent brawl in which toph’s nose is nearly broken, so she decides to limit this particular gambit to the company of her parents only.

zuko exclusively uses youtube to watch cute animal videos. otherwise, he's terrified he'll accidentally click on something that might potentially radicalize him, since he read somewhere that the algorithm was designed to do that, or worse, direct him to one of those content farm generated animations of elsa getting a c section, which is apparently also a concern. frankly, the internet scares him, and he tries to avoid it as much as possible.

suki watches npr tiny desks, kexp live, lofi hip hop anime beats to relax/study to, and best of vine compilations. anything on youtube that isn't music or shortform comedy simply does not interest her.

to boost her platform, ty lee decides to go on a reality show. she pretends to be a vapid airhead, but is actually very subtly manipulating not only the other contestants, but also the crew. she walks away from the whole experience with double the number of instagram followers (she already had a sizable amount) and a huge bag. anyway, azula goes through a phase of obsessively watching a lot of clips from. that

mai is indebted to the guy who reuploaded all the “patti reviews exotic animals” videos after they got taken down from the original channel. her favorite youtube video of all time though is nathan fielder thin watermelon. she rewatches it at least once a week

ty lee’s youtube history is just meditation playlists and also the goriest true crime stories she can find #justgirlythings <3

yue loves the artful simplicity of those animated tedx videos. they’ve led her down a lot of really interesting research rabbitholes. she promised katara she’d stop sending them to sokka though after he spent the next month telling her about nothing but eel mating habits and lesser known facts about genghis khan

iroh only uses youtube to watch recordings of tea ceremonies and isn’t even aware that there are other types of videos on the platform. ignorance is truly bliss

jet exclusively watches videos with the word “callout” in the title. the longer and more contrived, the better

#kyoshialone #asks #the gaang and #modern au #i guess #this ask was really hard because my knowledge of the content on youtube is very limited lmao #clearly i shouldve asked my brother what kids his age are into before trying to answer this

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theroastedwretch · 1 year

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Between the Lines- Ep. 3

A/N: This one is pretty long, partially to make up for just how short the next one will be. Episode 4 comes at you pretty rapid fire by design, so it's harder to stretch out and still make it make sense.

Usual warnings apply, some no no words, innuendo/bad flirting. This one also features a bit more insecurity around body image than usual and discussions of mental illness, so if that's not your thing please keep that in mind.

Index Episode 2

I was cursing at my phone and muttering about stupid 20-somethings getting involved in shit they shouldn’t— and ignoring the irony— when I finally managed to get a grip on myself and start thinking a bit more clearly.

Should I text the others? The Hacker seemed pretty sure one of them was the culprit, and while I wasn’t totally positive, the timing of the threatening call seemed to support that. It had been early on in my communications with the group that it would have been surprising if my number had leaked beyond them by then.

But if the Hacker was monitoring their phones, could the culprit be as well? I know he’d said he was putting protections on my devices, but if he hadn’t done theirs it was entirely possible someone could have gotten my number that way.

Not to mention, Thomas claimed the message with my number in the first place had come from Hannah’s phone. We’d been working under the assumption all this time that she’d sent it, but her phone had disappeared with her, and Thomas said the call he’d made had been answered by breathing. Despite what Joyce had claimed in Stranger Things, there was no good way to identify breathing.

What if it had been the kidnapper who sent them my number? The issue of “why me” remained, but it did make more objective sense that he would have access to the phone and use it for something other than calling the police (or their hacker friend).

Hell, maybe my number has actually been a diversion. A random string of numbers sent to confuse them that happened to be my contact info? The coincidence was huge, but possible. In fact, was it even that big of a coincidence? Maybe for me, the person with the number, it felt that way. But on the outside looking in, most combinations of numbers with the right amount of digits would probably call someone.

I wasn’t an investigator or police. I occasionally dabbled in writing mystery and did some escape rooms. I listened to true crime podcasts. But being that I was the core, stereotypical demographic for most of those things, that didn’t exactly make me uniquely qualified for any of this.

My mind raced round and round, trying to piece together who I could trust, how I could help, and what my place in this whole clusterfuck really was. I actually had something of a reputation of being good under pressure (but collapsing as soon as it was gone— as shown by the time I’d giggled for like ten minutes straight after rushing around to put out Annie’s kitchen fire as she screamed and didn’t use the phone in her hand to call for help) but this time, maybe because there really wasn’t anything I could actually do, I found myself totally useless.

I’d worked myself up into such a fit that by the time Cleo texted, I was tense enough to yelp at the buzzing phone in my hand.

Thomas? I mouthed silently. The kid takes off after finding out about the body, gets weirdly aggressive at Dan to set up some sketchy deal he refused to mention by name, and then breaks into his girlfriend’s apartment?

Cleo was clearly uncomfortable with it too, sounding more stilted and awkward than I’d ever heard her, even when confronting her about her newfound love of trespassing. Was he looking at her phone? Had he said something to her?

It wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility to think he had a key— Annie’s boyfriend had one to our place, much to my chagrin— and Cleo was just as guilty of going in as he was. But something about her reaction put me on edge, so I hoped she’d get somewhere she felt freer to talk soon.

Jessy’s rage provided a good distraction, though I really wasn’t surprised to see the way the paper had “reported” the body. It fit for a small town, whose identity partially stemmed from the idea of being safe and close. How many times in the past had I rolled my eyes at my grandma declaring that “this stuff didn’t happen in her town” when she watched the news for the city I’d grown up in? These were places where you never locked your doors, knew the mailman by name.

It became crucial to maintain that status quo at all costs, even if it meant relegating a murder to the back pages of a paper. Even if that meant the victim went unremembered.

Of course she was angry. Burying your head in the sand only felt good when it wasn’t your hurt being covered up.

Seeing her so upset brought back that feeling of helplessness I’d had with Cleo earlier. This time, there were things I could say, actions I could take. But nothing that would fix the situation or make her feel better at all. I could only let her vent. Even that felt so useless, it was only the tip of the iceberg.

Thomas’s return gave her something else to focus on, at least, even as I wondered whether it was planned or if his encounter with Cleo had forced his hand. I struggled to still see him as a devoted, grieving boyfriend after all this time.

The news that the body wasn’t Hannah’s perked everyone else up, but made me even more unsettled. As an outsider without any attachment to Hannah, a body appearing right after a kidnapping made things so much more complicated, and more dangerous.

One was unfortunate, two was a pattern.

There was no way I could say that to them, though, or even the Hacker, so I was left to stew on that on my own through the rest of Thomas’s return conversation.

Needing to process everything that had happened, I decided to go get some fresh air. I rarely took walks, I didn’t seem to get the cabin fever that others felt, and the pandemic had only made me even more comfortable hunkering down in one place. But suddenly I felt caged, like if I didn’t keep moving, I might collapse.

Something felt off to me, beyond the obvious. Why would the cops confirm anything to Thomas, who wasn’t Hannah’s husband and presumably had only a passing connection to the deceased woman? I knew that privacy in these cases wasn’t as strict as say, hospitals, and who knew what the laws in Germany looked like about that, but it still didn’t sit right with me. Maybe it was a small town thing?

Googling “how much can the police release to non-family in a missing person’s case” got me nowhere even before I added in the jurisdictional aspect, and I started to get frustrated at how little I knew about any of this.

I’d had dealings with cops before, a rebellious youth plus some impulse control issues had seen to that. I’d dated some questionable men, no doubt about that, made some bad choices. I knew the basics of the law in some areas, but nothing significant.

All of the recent happenings had me getting really frustrated with my ineptitude and getting pulled into this. I couldn’t say why I’d stuck around so far, really. It just seemed like everyone expected me to, and I didn’t want to disappoint them.

But hell, how was I not going to disappoint them?

My life had begun revolving around this case, even when it probably shouldn’t. Outside of the movie day and going out with Annie, one of which involved Jessy and the other I still felt guilty over, I’d taken very little time away from this, and it was starting to wear me down.

Still, how did I tell these grieving friends that I needed a break? How would I leave them up to their own devices, considering even with my help they were breaking in to crime scenes, buying illegal items, and having breakdowns over found bodies? They were suffering worse than I was, and even knowing that I would crash, I felt responsible for that.

Hannah had been missing for weeks, and all I’d done was find a cat picture, pry into her medical information, and discovered some emo poetry. Poirot, I was not. I couldn’t help but think that the others blamed me for that fact.

As if hearing my doubts, the Hacker appeared. I hugged my sweater closer to myself despite the day actually being fairly warm, and considered putting him off. But I wasn’t going to make any progress without him, and the sooner we solved this mystery, the sooner I could nurse my ego and return to my life.

I wasn’t at all surprised to hear he was reading in on my chat with Cleo, though I was a bit that he was watching my video chats. The insecure, dysmorphic part of me tried to remember how many chins I had while on screen, even knowing that he probably hadn’t looked at me once during the call. I knew it was silly, but I’d have to start considering my appearance a little more before turning on my camera.

I’d meant to come off more teasing when I’d questioned whether my opinion mattered to him, but I knew I sounded desperate for his approval. Still, I was pretty surprised when he answered in the affirmative, seemingly genuine. My face burned when I admitted to the same, but it kind of felt like I owed it to him at that moment.

Of course, he quickly moved the conversation back to the matter at hand, and I tried not to let that sting. Once he admitted to his “flaw”, though, I couldn’t help but question myself even further. Did it extend to not realizing how he came off over chat? Had he not even noticed the times I was flirting?

It seemed like everything had me off kilter today, and I was desperate to hide under my blankets and let myself mope, at least a little. It was so like me, to get feelings for a guy on the other side of the world that I didn’t even know the name of who had no idea I’d spent weeks flirting with him. I felt like a teenager again, pining over a boy who told me that I’d have an easier time finding a boyfriend if I lost weight.

Really, I thought I’d grown past this.

Massaging my temples as I walked back into my apartment, I let myself flop into bed despite how early it was. Maybe if I crawled into my safe space while texting, things wouldn’t bother me as much. Or I’d at least be less of an asshole and stop focusing on my own bullshit at a time like this.

I felt like I had to push back on his assertion that Hannah couldn’t have hurt herself. I clearly had more experience with depression than he had, and considering how he’d reacted to the SSRIs already, I worried it could break him. Besides, not all methods of hurting yourself came in the form that most people expected. Pretty much my entire early twenties was a testament to all of the ways you could hurt yourself without causing a single bit of physical harm.

I decided not to push that part.

We discussed the cloud entry (I resisted the urge to joke about my own shitty poetry, since I wasn’t making this about myself anymore) and I was surprised to discover that he’d never met Hannah. He was maybe more invested in finding her than some of the group.

I wasn’t making this about myself, so I didn’t worry that maybe they were romantic penpals or something. She had Thomas.

I had to admit I felt pretty good about getting to tease him about the legends, and was glad to see it made him laugh. Not because I wanted his approval, but just because he was usually so serious. Of course.

Finally, after exhausting all of the leads and updates either of us had— there was no movement on Poke’s number yet— he logged off suddenly and I sighed, taking the opportunity to wiggle deeper into my nest and think about nothing for a while. ___

I hadn’t intended to fall asleep, but I was shocked when I opened my eyes next to find that twelve hours had passed, and I suddenly found myself the topic of the group chat. Maybe I’d grilled Thomas too hard yesterday.

Dan: We don’t know anything about her, why should we trust her?

Seriously Dan? After facilitating some weird deal between Thomas and Poke, you want to start throwing stones? Maybe guilt and deflection, but annoying nonetheless.

I let myself get truly frustrated with them for the first time, reminding them of their responsibility for the fact that they knew nothing about me. Not like I’d been nothing but a vehicle to find Hannah or something to all of them but Jessy, right?

MC: I mean MC: You could ask

Thomas: What?

MC: I don’t have a whole lot of reasons to lie to you MC: Not beyond like “oh yeah I definitely do floss every day”, at least MC: So don’t ask that one MC: I will lie about that

Dan: We can’t even know if you’re telling the truth!

MC: Right MC: But if we’re talking stranger danger, it’s kind of 5 against 1 already.

Dan: Fine, so tell us about yourself

MC: Well that’s super unhelpful MC: I at least ask you guys questions

Dan: You mean interrogate?

MC: Sure MC: Ask away

Jessy: What color is your hair?

MC: Ha!

I hit send while snorting before realizing that my amusement wouldn’t make sense to anyone in the group.

MC: Sorry, inside joke… not a very good one. MC: Brown normally MC: But I get bored with that a lot. MC: So like, less brown right now? I guess?

Jessy: Oooh! What colors has it been?

I smiled a little, of course Jessy would show something of an actual interest while simultaneously asking questions that helped nothing.

MC: Well, I’ve done red streaks. Not like yours, Jessy, they called it “fire-engine red”. Red fades so fast, so I only did that once. MC: High school was when I did most of it. It was pink for a while. MC: Kept it bleached for a while, but I’m not a good blonde. MC: Blue in college.

Thomas: Stop Thomas: Why are you doing this?

MC: Because she asked? And because if you guys keep not trusting me, we won’t get anywhere?

Thomas: No. I mean, why are you here?

MC: Because you added me to the group.

Thomas: You know what I’m asking

I groaned. I did, but where do you even start? How do I even explain, when I don’t really know myself? I knew I was on thin ice, though. Jessy liked me, and Cleo was open to me. But Thomas was, at best, neutral, Richy had barely spoken to me, Lilly was totally absent, and Dan… well, Dan was Dan.

What do you tell a group of strangers when they ask why you’re putting all of your energy into snooping around their personal lives?

The hope that Thomas seemed to be fueled by, that I’d have some unknown connection and solution to everything seemed to have vanished. And that had really been my only connection to these people.

“Sorry, I might want to bone the hacker you all hate, so I do what he tells me,” was pathetic on so many levels, and would do nothing to help me.

MC: Look MC: I’m an asshole, okay? My jokes are bad, I suck at people, and I’m just generally something of an acquired taste at best MC: But like, how do you walk away from people who want you to help find a missing person? MC: I don’t know her. It’s crazy I care this much. But Thomas, you sent me all those pictures MC: And you’ve all talked about her so much MC: And I read the articles about it online and that made it so real too MC: I don’t know if I’ll be useful. Frankly, I’m usually not even at the best of times MC: But on the tiniest chance I can be, and I don’t try? I don’t think I’m prepared to be that much of a shit person.

The silence after I wrote all of that stretched on long enough to make me sweat. Being genuine wasn’t something I practiced much, and I was mostly just glad I hadn’t had to say all of that out loud because I would have stumbled over it and messed it up somehow. However un-charismatic I was online, it was nothing compared to how I was in person.

After what felt like several minutes of nothing, I began frantically thinking of ways to take it all back. Despite the miles and miles between us, something about my words made me feel like I was standing in front of them all naked, so the lack of reply had me fighting not to claw my eyes out.

Finally, around the time I’d hunted down the dusty bottle of vodka I’d gotten as a gift for last Christmas and poured myself a glass with little enough juice that it did more for color than taste, there was movement in the chat.

Dan is typing…

Dan: Fine Dan: Stay

Dan is offline.

Cleo: Right, well… Welcome to the team.

I was a bit surprised to see the hesitation from Cleo, since she’d already called me at Hannah’s and admitted to several crimes, one of which I was complicit in. Maybe she’d only included me before since I was online and couldn’t stop her? Who knows.

Thomas is offline.

Cleo is offline.

Richy is offline.

Only Jessy and I remained, which I guess I could have predicted at that point. Considering her line of questioning, and our active personal chat, it made sense that she’d be the one least likely to need to mull over my outburst. Which is why, when I saw a notification pop up seconds later, I didn’t hesitate to press it without looking at the name.

As it turned out, It wasn’t from Jessy. Instead, the notification led me back to my chat with the Hacker.

???: You did surprisingly well.

Despite the fact that I’d normally bask a little bit in the compliment (however backhanded the qualifier made it feel), I only felt irritated. My frustration, insecurity and helplessness bubbled over, and even knowing how little he’d get those emotions from my words, he was the only one here to direct it at.

MC: Thanks? I think? MC: Or are you just surprised they didn’t boot me out of the chat? MC: Look, I want to help, but you saw how that just went. MC: I don’t do this, okay? I don’t know how to get people to like me, or trust me, or want to talk to me. Everyone who puts up with me in real life are either people who met me when we were young enough that being edgy and bitchy seemed cool, liked my mom enough to feel like they have to make sure I’m alive, or are getting paid in one way or the other.

???: I believe it went well, MC. You were quite convincing.

MC: Pf. Hardly. For Hannah, you need to find someone else. I can still do the cloud stuff if you want, but there’s got to be someone better to talk to the group.

The moment I hit send, a notification from the person I’d been expecting earlier appeared at the top of my screen.

Jessy: MC! I’m so sorry they acted so mean Jessy: They’re not usually like that, they’re scared. But that’s no excuse. Jessy: You almost made me cry!

MC: I’m sorry!

Jessy: No no, it was so nice! 🥰

MC: Mmh, Jessy, I made everyone run away.

Jessy: Trust me, they just didn’t know what to say. They hate being wrong!

While I wracked my brain trying to formulate a response, another notification popped up that I didn’t even bother to click this time.

???: ;)

Smug bastard. ___

After that, things were a little less tense in the group chat. The majority still weren’t particularly friendly, but they’d at least seem to accept my presence. Dan was still kind of an asshole, but in a kind of way that I was used to, so I didn’t let it bother me. He seemed like the sort that people just kind of ignored most of the time, and I knew what that was like.

The chat wasn’t what I’d consider active, but they checked in on each other occasionally, tried to cheer each other up and touched base with platitudes and support.

Jessy: MC Jessy: … Jessy: You there? Jessy: MCCCCC

Huh. It was strange for me to be addressed directly at the start of a conversation, but the fact that it was Jessy made it make a little more sense. I suspected she was trying to include me more and humanize me to the rest, a mission she’d kind of taken up recently.

MC: Hi! Sorry, I got a call.

Jessy: Aren’t you popular?

MC: No, no, never. Work. 😩

Jessy: Oh! You know, I don’t think we’ve ever talked about your job.

MC: Well, yeah, it’s not really been important.

Other than my chats with Jessy, and the time Thomas had grilled me about my intentions, discussing me had been pretty low priority. I’d chime in here and there when the group chat dipped into the easy flow that happened in messages between old friends. And I never missed a chance to make a sassy comment or comment, which they’d quickly learned to ignore or roll their eyes at.

But it was true that in their eyes, I was still just a stranger. Even as I slowly started forming pictures of their lives and getting pulled deeper into Hannah’s world, the group as a whole still didn’t even know my last name. I hadn’t offered it, but they didn’t ask either.

After my hidden meltdown when the body was discovered not to be Hannah’s, I’d probably put up some barriers trying not to totally lose myself in their lives. It was wearing on my mental health in a pretty serious way, so while Jessy and I were continuing to bond, and Cleo had started talking to me more, I felt a bit detached overall.

Jessy: Still! Jessy: You’re always on your phone Jessy: Every time I’m on

I snorted at that, mainly because it wasn’t totally true. I wasn’t a morning person, and she was bright and sunny enough to be way too much until I’d gotten at least two cups of coffee in me. But after that, I did give my phone nearly my full attention.

MC: That’s what my boss just said on our call, haha. 🙃 MC: I work remotely, so I’ve got some flexibility MC: But I’ve been pushing that lately MC: And unlike someone, I’m not cute enough to get away with it

Richy: 😳

For all Jessy tried to hide when she texted non-stop at work, it was actually the worst kept secret. Especially since Richy was on nearly as much during the day. They didn’t acknowledge each other over chat all that much, but there was no way they didn’t notice they were both on.

But since it was just as obvious that Richy wanted to date Jessy…

Jessy: 😤 Jessy: But what do you do?

Of course neither would acknowledge it. They both knew, even if they wanted to pretend they didn’t. I was surprised the group didn’t heckle them for it more. Yet another way they differed from mine, I guess. I’d never live it down with them.

MC: Nothing very exciting. I’m called a “Customer Communication Quality Assurance Analyst”

Jessy: Right…

Yep, that was the usual reaction alright.

MC: Told you 🤣 MC: You know how when you call customer service, that message plays? MC: About your call being recorded? MC: Some companies review those in-house, but others contract out to a firm MC: So I work for one of those

Dan: You’re joking

He didn’t usually get involved when I was talking. He’d respond to the others, of course, but for the most part he preferred to ignore me completely. This would be interesting.

MC: No… why would I be?

Dan: You spend all day spying on people’s calls Dan: Just to open your phone Dan: And interrogate us

I actually was a little more offended than I should have been, which probably gave his point more credence. Still, it felt like there was a note of teasing to it that maybe could work in my favor if I played it right.

MC: Okay MC: Well when you put it that way MC: My life just sounds sad MC: And kind of creepy 😒

Dan: I mean, isn’t it?

MC: Hey 😤 MC: But actually MC: I wanted to be a teacher when I was younger

Jessy: Really?? That’s so cool

I hadn’t meant to prolong this conversation, but since Jessy had definitely become the one that both liked me best and I’d been most open with, maybe it would be useful to let them in a little.

And it was definitely for Hannah and not because I wanted the acceptance of these people. Of course.

MC: Mmh, no, not really. MC: Could have saved myself a lot of time and money if I’d remembered I don’t like dealing with people that much

Jessy: What do you mean? Jessy: You’re so friendly!

Friendly? Jessy, I’m a raging bitch, covering up for the self-esteem of a goldfish with sarcasm and fake arrogance, the mouth of a sailor, and the gutter-mind of a 16 year old boy. Was that friendly?

MC: Sure, to people I like MC: But I made the mistake of being a TA in undergrad MC: Turns out, people can be really dumb and I have no patience 🤓

Cleo: MC!

Yeah. That would be a bit far for Cleo. She was nice enough, of course, but probably the one that struggled the most with my more insulting quips. Well, Thomas and Lilly hadn’t been much involved with me either, so maybe they’d have been yelling at me even more. Who knows?

MC: Yes, yes. I’ll be nice MC: I just get frustrated easily, I guess. MC: Having to explain something over and over

Dan: Mmh, I’m trying to picture you as a teacher. It’s kind of funny.

I felt a surge of pride in realizing I’d kept Dan at least marginally engaged. Though actually, in other circumstances he might have actually been the one I was the most similar to. He seemed to also lack a filter and the capability to recognize when running his mouth was okay.

MC: Funny isn’t the word I’d have used

Jessy: Poor you 😫

MC: If I’m being honest, probably poor them

Jessy: Oh no

MC: 😉 MC: It was better for everyone that I got out of that line of work MC: But it was too late to change my degree unless I wanted to spend way too much time backtracking MC: So I just found a job that would take a degree, no matter what it was. MC: So now, here I am MC: Both professional and amatuer spy MC: Apparently

Jessy: That suits you somehow

MC: I don’t know what to say to that MC: Should I be insulted or…?

Again, realizing my role in this group was still barely above the Hacker’s as far as my motives made my heart sink. They were right. My job here was to investigate, spy and uncover. But since I hadn’t really made them aware of just how creepy I was being, I was surprised to see that they considered me a “spy”, or even investigator.

Jessy: No no! I just meant that you see things others miss Jessy: So it works for you

MC: Oh okay

Dan: Yeah, you’re a regular Sherlock Holmes

MC: Nah, he at least had cocaine to keep him awake. MC: I’m probably more like Harriet the Spy, tbh. 😂

The conversation didn’t continue after that, but I almost felt like I’d earned Dan’s respect even just the tiniest bit with that one. ___

I was somewhat caught off-guard when Richy added me after discussing the Man Without a Face in the legends chat that Jessy had made for us. I agreed with him that Jessy seemed more eager to latch onto the legend than most people would, but it made sense that she’d want to seize any chance she saw to step back from the idea that the killer could be human.

For my part, the more I thought on the idea that someone would be masquerading as this mythical avenger, the more I saw it as a viable concept. Killers, especially ones that consider themselves righteous, love to glom onto characters that get across the message they want to embody.

My true crime podcasts taught me that much at least.

I teased him about Jessy more to get him off balance than to confirm he liked her— that much was already obvious. I wasn’t crazy about the power dynamics at play there, with him being her boss, but that seemed kind of like a thing that just happened in small towns. There were only so many people to start with.

I considered lightly flirting with him to see if that was a better tactic, but frankly I couldn’t bring myself to. Jessy was a friend, and she seemed to like him too. I didn’t think he’d ever get up the nerve to ask her, but there was only so much playing in their lives I could justify before it felt icky.

Besides that, there was the question of my shadow.

Ruminating on that led me back to decrypting, a habit I’d taken up while trying to avoid thinking too much on him, his motives, and how much he even noticed about me. Ironically, decryption was the thing that should remind me the most of him, but I could generally focus on Hannah while doing the most annoying parts, since it was to benefit her.

Sometimes I wondered how she would feel once she was safe. I couldn’t imagine she’d be interested in much to do with me— I was still pretty convinced she hadn’t sent my number— as I’d be mostly a reminder about this horrible time in her life. But would she resent me for the intrusions I’d made into her private life?

As if sensing my guilt, the next file I opened was clearly another diary entry, once again filled with emotional conflict. It as much more straightforward than the last, written with a bit more clarity and thought rather than vomiting words up as they appeared in her head.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I read over it a second time. I knew I had to send this to the Hacker, but Hannah’s distress had really been the only thing to faze him since that first, frantic call to her friends. I worried that this one, likely even direct enough for him to grasp the emotion behind, would cause him even more grief.

But he’d also be furious if he found out I kept something from him, even—or maybe especially— if it was out of a desire to protect him. Sighing guiltily, I sent it to him to discuss.

The conversation went a bit unexpectedly, though. Maybe he’d come to terms with our previous findings enough to prepare himself for this one, or maybe he was glad to have something a bit less hard to understand. He probably didn’t read much poetry with his flaw.

I wasn’t prepared for the fucking praise, though. Or really, my reaction to it was the problem. Instead of feeling patronized, it sent a bit of a jolt through me. So damn stupid, getting worked up over some guy telling you that you did a good job. I knew I had a bit of a submissive side but Jesus, really?

Wait. Could he have found that particular… interest… of mine when reading through my chats? Jessy and I got a bit detailed at times when discussing our preferences, after she got used to me it seemed like she enjoyed having someone to discuss things with.

What else had he seen on my phone and devices? He admitted to having full access but said he only looked at case-related things. Still, there was a lot of bullshit to wade through in order to find those case-related items. After he’d said not to worry about offending him, I’d mostly tried to forget he was there whenever I messaged people or screwed around on the internet.

But all it would take was one poorly timed screen-mirror and…

I scrambled to try to remember my recent activities and felt my face burn when I considered all of the possibilities. I wasn’t one to watch risqué videos, being more into reading and writing to alleviate my frustrations.

Cool. Great. Awesome. He probably knew everything about my kinks and I didn’t know his name.

As freaked out as I was, the fact that I still didn’t know his name was starting to bother me. Especially in light of this recent realization. I could do it, right? Just ask his name? I mean, we’d been talking a while, he said he trusted me. I got the feeling I’d never see his face or talk to him without the distortion, but his name was innocent enough.

Before I could chicken out, I typed it out, as a request rather than a question, and hit send.

Of course he’d ask why I cared. Of course it seemed ridiculous to him, I’d already suspected he had no idea what signals I’d tried to throw out.

Would it hurt to try to be more obvious? I wondered. I was cringing at my screen now, trying to both type and shut my eyes to what I was saying as I admitted to liking him. I tried to make a joke of it, using the damn smilies Jessy had gotten me addicted to, but even someone who couldn’t read had to be able to just smell the pheromones and insecurity dripping off of every word.

Jake.

The emotional high of learning that, of being able to greet him properly for the first time, dampened a bit from the clear regret he immediately expressed. Still, he hadn’t left yet, so I I tried to salvage things a little.

Are you dating someone?

How could I not have melted at that? It was the most overt he’d ever been by far. So even when he fled again, I couldn’t keep the stupid grin off of my face. ___

I was pretty ashamed to only realize that Cleo had never gotten back to me about the situation with Thomas until she reached out again, saying that she needed to clear her head before we talked. Still, I should have checked in about it long before now, so the guilt of making it about me, again, pushed away the good feelings from earlier.

Learning that Thomas and Hannah had been arguing, that he no longer had a key to her apartment despite clearly having a way to access it, just solidified my need to check further into him.

Goddamn it folks, stop being shady and stop not telling me things. How is it this fucking hard?

I pinched my nose, attempting to slow my breathing. But learning that he took something from the apartment just shot my blood pressure back up through the roof.

I’d drank as much during this investigation— even ignoring my night out with Annie at the start— as I normally did in a year but I still couldn’t escape the urge for a shot. It was barely mid-afternoon so I resisted the urge, but barely. ___

After getting the book number for Jessy, Jake (that still felt weird) let me know he’d found Poke’s number. I got nervous when he revealed I’d have to call rather than text— I was a millennial, that’s my actual nightmare— and a little frustrated when he seemed to minimize the risk to me again. At this point, he should know I’d stick around even when I’m scared. But it would be really nice to whine and be comforted for five minutes before handing my number over to a suspected criminal.

Still, I suspected that being comforting wasn’t particularly his style, and that even if he wanted to, he’d have very little reference for how to do it.

And there was no denying that of the two of us, I was the better choice for handling the people part. I mean, we were still screwed, but I kind of suspected I was the only person he’d managed to charm recently and I still wasn’t totally possible how he’s done that.

So I groaned, put on my big girl panties, and called. ___

A locksmith. All of this cloak and dagger bullshit over a locksmith. A clearly unethical one, but why the hell would they not just pretend like Thomas had lost his own key or something instead of acting like the sketchiest fucking losers alive?

I wasn’t proud of my past associations, but I’d seen drug deals discussed with more grace than these folks were handling an exchange with a perfectly legal business and an obvious cover story.

Not to mention, why the hell did Thomas not know where her spare key was if Cleo did? I wasn’t sure how long they’d been dating, but it was probably long enough for him to know where her spare key was.

For some reason, I started to suspect less that the culprit was either Dan or Thomas, mainly because they apparently made the stupidest damn criminals I’d ever met.

Hannah, your friends are going to be the death of me, I swear. ___

As the group chat exploded into drama over Phil, I groaned out loud. A fight was a long time coming, especially between Cleo and Jessy, but did it have to be now?

I was working when it started, trying to clear my inbox that I was sorely behind on dealing with. Several of the calls I’d reviewed today had serious violations and one of the clients took the negative feedback really poorly. I’d had enough yelling for this week, thank you.

Annie popped open a can of coke behind me and leaned over to look beyond my shoulder at my phone. I tried to casually block her from seeing, but she was tall enough to catch sight of it anyway.

“Hey is that Jessy? How is she?”

“Fine,” I muttered, locking my phone screen and trying to ignore the rapid-fire buzzing.

“What crawled up your ass?” She snarked, eying up my tense posture and tight expression.

“Nothing, Annie, I’m just trying to work and no one will leave me alone!” I snapped, pushing my keyboard away from me in frustration.

She threw her hands up in surrender. “Jeez, sorry, I was just trying to help.” She turned away from me, toward her room, and took a loud slurp of her coke as she walked. “Let me know when you’re less of a bitch.”

“Right,” I mumbled to myself, getting myself more settled into my chair. “Focus.”

The incessant vibration wouldn’t let me, though, and I realized that I wasn’t going to get anything done until it stopped. Sighing louder than necessary, I once again got involved in something that had no good reason to be my business.

I felt bad for being relieved when Jessy stormed off and things cooled down relatively quickly after that. I reminded myself to reach out to her later, even though I knew she wasn’t the sort who liked to be left alone while she was emotional.

The information about Phil was interesting, though. It wasn’t particularly a side of Hannah I’d heard anything about. But then, I’d only heard about her from people who loved her, and it already seemed like no one knew about her depression.

And boy didn’t I know the kind of questionable decisions depression could lead to. Not to mention, having learned that Thomas returned his key during a fight made me wonder exactly what their relationship was at the time of her disappearance. If they were broken up, maybe she’d been acting out her heartbreak in a way that would raise eyebrows in a small town.

I suppose she could have been taken by a partner after all. Just not the one we knew about.

At the same time, Phil’s comments bordered on the Nice Guy style bullshit I and my friends had heard so often after turning a guy down. Men love to call women sluts for not sleeping with them.

No, I was supposed to be focusing on work. Work. It was bad enough to put off responsibilities for a kidnapping case, it was another to instead speculate on a woman’s sex life when I’d never met her.

Yet I was glad Richy was going to talk to Phil.

I managed to get through about half a day’s work before my phone started again. Spy mode was getting old fast, I have no idea why Jake liked this shit. I just don’t care about other people’s crap this much. I don’t even want to deal with my own social life!

Though it did catch my eye to see that Jessy and Dan were going on a date. Hadn’t seen that one coming, she’d never shown much of a soft spot for him and Dan didn’t strike me as particularly romantic.

But maybe I was just bitter considering “are you single” was the hottest my current relationship had gotten so far.

So much for doing work, I griped and started logging out for the day. Once I started brooding over things with Jake, I was never going to get back on track. I’d learned that the hard way.

Pretending it wasn’t at all to talk to him, I made my way out to the garden and curled up next to a bush to start decrypting in the sun. ___

The sun had set by the time I managed to get anything, but for the first time the picture made me pause.

A Raven.

To be honest, a large part of me figured it was stupid kids. If this legend was as well known in the city as Jessy and Richy had implied, then it made sense for jagoff teenagers to run around marking things up with it. It was at least more creative than just doing penises like most of the graffiti I saw.

But it wouldn’t do to just dismiss it outright either.

In fact, the more I thought about it, the more intriguing it was. Because it didn’t matter if it was just graffiti. The how or why of it being there might be totally irrelevant.

But what made it important was that Hannah thought it was important.

I suppose she could have just thought it was cool, or maybe she was interested in the legend or wanted to show Jessy, who clearly had a strong interest in the macabre. But not long after she’d taken it, she’d supposedly been dragged into the woods by the man this symbol was meant to represent.

Had she been pursuing him rather than the other way round?

Trying to get around explaining to Richy and Jessy where I’d gotten the picture was a bit awkward. They seemed to know I was investigating on some level, and they knew I was in touch with Jake. But they hadn’t really put those things together or realized how deep I was digging, and I was pretty grateful for that. They would have to be offended on her behalf. I was offended on her behalf sometimes.

But like, the police would be doing it too, right? Going through her personal life and putting it under a microscope, analyzing every word she said and who she said it to. At least I wasn’t her neighbor, her pastor, or anyone she had to deal with regularly. That had to be a comfort, I hoped.

But I appreciated Jessy keeping Richy from asking more, either way. Her trust touched me, and made things much simpler for now. And processing this with someone other than Jake was strangely nice, despite how much I enjoyed talking to him.

Of course, then Richy had to get in a parting shot about where I got the picture. And the worst part is, he wasn’t even wrong. |___

The guilt of all— the hiding, the lying, the half-ignored responsibilities— it started weighing on me after that. Too much was at stake to back down now, but I could feel the suspicion pointed at me, and it was deserved.

I wasn’t above half-truths or even the occasional lie, really. Sometimes it was just easier and better for everyone if the truth went unsaid. But this was snowballing out of control and I didn’t know how to stop it.

So I confessed the only thing I could think of that might not ruin everything.

MC: Jake?

Jake is online.

Jake: Hello, MC. Jake: Is everything alright?

MC: I lied before. MC: And cheated.

I paused, trying to think of how to say it. Which I knew I should have considered before I even started the conversation, but planning wasn’t my strong suit when my emotions got the better of me.

Jake is typing…

Jake: To what are you referring?

Right. I’d gotten so used to him reading things and knowing what I meant before I said it that I just kind of assumed he knew what was going on in my head.

MC: The bet. MC: I’m sending your credits back.

After hitting enter, I quickly opened the app he’d sent me my winnings through and sent them all back. I hadn’t done anything with them, it felt kind of gross.

Jake: I appreciate your honesty, but I’m not sure I understand. You found the information more quickly than I could.

MC: Right, well. That’s because I already knew what SSRIs were for. I’ve been on them for years. MC: I’ve been depressed since I was a teenager. I don’t even know why I pretended. MC: I was just surprised you didn’t know already and then you were SO shocked and uncomfortable about Hannah and I got worried you’d think differently of me too so I just went with it.

He typed and erased several times, and my mind became a whirlwind of regret. Why was I doing this? He didn’t ask to hear all about my problems. It wasn’t like I’d conned him out of a huge prize. But I was so tired of lying, and lying to him felt especially wrong after he’d been letting me in.

Jake: MC, I never thought less of Hannah for her depression. I was upset to find out that she was suffering.

MC: It seemed like you were, I don’t know, struggling with your perception of her.

Jake: Not in a negative way, not toward her. And I am sorry that it made you feel like you had to hide or be ashamed in any way.

MC: I’m usually not like this with it, you know? I mean in high school I was, but that went super poorly so I made myself talk about it.

Jake: You do not have to talk about it if you’re not comfortable.

MC: No, I want you to know. It’s a part of my life. And really so much about me makes way more sense when you realize my brain doesn’t really do what it’s supposed to. MC: Sorry, dark humor is my main coping mechanism.

Jake: I had noticed.

MC: Yeah, it’s not particularly subtle. MC: And just so you know, I’m stable. The meds help, and I do therapy as needed. There are still bad days and stuff but that’s always going to be true. MC: That’s part of why I kept pushing about you realizing it was possible that Hannah had hurt herself, too. MC: Like you said, that’s not the case here since you saw it. But it does happen. And I know my friends and family were even more upset when something would happen because it caught them off guard.

Jake: Is that something

Jake is typing…

MC: Let’s save that conversation for another day, maybe?

Jake: Of course.

MC: But the good news is that maybe it means I can provide some different perspectives on things, right? Like that first cloud entry. MC: Really, I just have to hope that if I get kidnapped no one gives enough of a shit to sort through my stuff like this because there’s nothing good to be found in my sad folder.

Jake: “Sad folder”?

MC: Don’t even try, it’s super old and on a flash drive somewhere that hopefully fell out of whatever box I put it in when I moved here and got crushed by several cars.

Jake: How oddly specific.

MC: Fantasies are what keep a girl going, right? MC: Jake? MC: Thank you for listening.

Jake: :)

Jake: Thank you for your trust.

Jake is offline.

Later, after the third or so time that I re-read our conversation, I tried to work out exactly what it was that made trust so important to him. In our particular situation, we did need to trust each other to a point, but somehow it seemed bigger than that. It was like my trust was some precious trinket to him that he was grateful for each reminder of.

Admittedly, at times that trust felt a little bit more like blind faith, even toeing the line on being foolish. But my instincts told me that he was involved for the right reasons, even if sometimes his methods were at times a bit cold. ___

Somehow, maybe the drink I’d mixed while getting ready for my date with Jessy, it hadn’t occurred to me to think that Jake might have been reading along. I’d gotten used to it by that point, hell, sometimes it even felt reassuring. But it wasn’t until it had started winding down and he messaged me that I realized.

Jake: Hello, MC.

MC: Hello, Jake

He always greeted me so formally, it made me think of a handshake and firm eye contact. I chuckled, picturing us meeting for the first time with a handshake.

Shaking my head at myself, I looked down at my phone.

Jake is typing…

Here, he erased, paused, and started again.

Jake is typing…

After a few minutes of waiting, I started to get concerned.

MC: Is everything okay?

Jake: Did you enjoy your evening?

MC: So you were reading along again 😆

Jake: Yes, it seemed interesting that she chose to cancel her date to speak to you. I wanted to see if there was any information that could be useful to us.

MC: Well, did you see anything interesting?

Jake: Why do you believe that she made the decision to stay home and speak to you?

I wondered for a second if it bothered him. We’d never explicitly discussed my sexuality, and Jessy and my rapport sometimes played hopscotch with the line between bubbly and flirty in that way that every bisexual woman has been confused by at some point in their lives.

MC: Because I’m great 😎 MC: But also Dan kind of sucks

Jake: Regardless, I imagine she would have had a more enjoyable time going out rather than making small talk over orange juice.

MC: Depends on the company I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jake is typing…

MC: Did I make it weird again?

Jake: No. Jake: Of course not. Jake: A virtual date was simply a concept I was previously unaware of.

Jake never really spoke informally, but at least lately he’d seemed a little less… stiff. I groaned, suspecting that, despite his denial, I’d made it weird.

MC: Well MC: I think the voice distortion and hidden face might make it a bit more difficult for you MC: My mom did tell me not to talk to strange men online 😂

Jake is offline.

And there it is. Not surprising, that could easily have been viewed as an insult. Especially after we’d been seemingly getting closer lately. But my life had totally been taken over by strange men on the internet lately, so I considered it somewhat fair to at least acknowledge that it was weird.

MC: Look, sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. My mom WOULD be rather annoyed if she saw me now. But it’s not like this is even the worst thing I’ve done. MC: Really I think I’m mostly surprised that you haven’t had a virtual date before. MC: It seems like that’d be right up your alley. Computers and girls at the same time.

His status didn’t change after my messages, so after a few minutes I let myself bonelessly sprawl across the couch and sigh. I read through a few bullshit articles online, shared some memes on Facebook, and waited to see if he’d log back on. That had happened a few times, after he’d done whatever he needed to in order to get over the embarrassment, annoyance, or brain breaking I’d subjected him to. He did need me, to a degree, and as inconvenient as my personality was for him, it was more to his benefit to keep me sweet.

Which probably made me a bad person for taking advantage of that for my own amusement just a little. But he could well be using me to find his friend so at least we both got something out of it.

It took longer than usual for him to come back this time, maybe I’d really pissed him off. But around the time I’d started scrolling through some cat pictures on Reddit, he came back.

Jake is online.

Jake: My apologies, something needed my immediate attention. Jake: I don’t know how my small talk abilities didn’t make it abundantly clear, but I haven’t had the time or opportunity for many dates in the recent past, virtual or not.

My eyes widened a tiny bit. Personal information AND multiple contractions? The language was still very stiff, of course, but there was a tiny bit less formality than earlier. Maybe he wasn’t reading as closely before he hit send. Trying not to chicken out?

Pure speculation, but I liked the thought.

MC: Shame. They can be fun, even without the orange juice. MC: What with the pandemic and all, it was that or nothing, so I tried my hand at it a few times. MC: Nothing came of it but you know. It passes the time.

Jake: Is that where your ability to connect with the group without meeting came from?

Interesting question, even feeling a bit loaded. I’d already confirmed I was single, of course, and I’d said I liked him more than once by now. But that still left a lot of room between “hermit” and “almost having a partner”, and I wondered if he was trying to suss that out.

MC: Not entirely. Most of my friendships are online ever since I moved a few years ago. I’m not the greatest at initiating conversation so I’ve mostly stuck with keeping in touch with them. MC: Keeping and forming connections aren’t the exact same, but since this lot seems to keep me close because Hannah sent my number, it helps.

Jake: I refuse to believe that you aren’t good at initiating. Jake: Conversation.

Oh, that made me laugh. I wanted desperately to push a little harder on that one, but he’d already logged off once and I was really enjoying talking to him. I got up and poured myself another glass to help me relax a bit further, since the one from my date with Jessy had started to wear off.

MC: I’m actually very shy at first, believe it or not. It’s only once I get comfortable with someone that I become the giant pain in the ass you see before you.

Jake: Does that mean you feel comfortable with me?

MC: Clearly. That’s how transitive property works, right?

Jake: Are you sure that’s the transitive property?

MC: Nope, but it is now.

Jake: Haha. Jake: You are quite intriguing.

MC: Boy, you know how to charm a girl. I guess “intriguing” certainly isn’t the worst I’ve been called though.

Jake is typing…

He stopped. I again waited for him to log off, but after several long beats, he hadn’t. I decided to put him out of his misery a little.

MC: So how much were you able to dig up on me? I’ve been curious. MC: I can only assume by this point that you know more about me than I do.

If he was surprised or unnerved by the change in topic, he didn’t show it.

Jake: I looked, of course, before I gave you access to Hannah’s information and the spy mode. Jake: It was possible that the reason she had your number was because you were the culprit.

MC: Guess being across the world helped reassure you.

Jake: That was part of it. Jake: Additionally, everything I saw pointed towards you being a perfectly normal woman.

MC: Normal? You must be bad at your job, sir. MC: But you didn’t actually answer what you dug up.

Jake: No, I did not. Jake: But I suppose you deserve to know. Jake: As you’ve mentioned, I have access to your phone. That allowed me to find your social media profiles and email very quickly. Jake: You don’t list your job on social media, interestingly. Nor the last several.

MC: No way I’m making it easier for them to find the shit I say. MC: I’m not sure I’d get fired faster for the nerdy bullshit or the liberal rants.

Jake: It’s a good idea to keep those separate, of course. Jake: It still would not be impossible to find. Jake: But you also use a nickname on social media and your legal name for work. Jake: And separate emails. Jake: That helps as well.

MC: My, are you this thorough with everything you do? MC: But the analysis is good. Though I’m sure you still found more.

I grinned into my glass a little. There was a chance he wouldn’t pick up on the suggestion behind my comment, but I wouldn’t mind letting him stew on it just the tiniest bit if he managed to.

Jake: Of course. Being thorough is required in my line of work, so it’s part of my nature.

Damn. Just enough that he could still be talking about hacking. Or he could be volleying it back. And in order to know, I’d have to be more obvious. But I couldn’t let him win like that, so I decided to let it go for now.

MC: I’m not that easily deterred. If you found my work email, you found my LinkedIn.

Jake: Yes, of course.

MC: And knowing my email means you know the username for just about everything.

Jake: Yes.

MC: So, anything interesting?

Jake: Well, to be honest, once I’d found your socials and work information, I had enough to determine you were safe to contact.

MC: And I totally believe that someone we’ve established as being painstakingly thorough stopped there.

Jake: After some of our conversations where I revealed more details to you, I did look a bit further. I connected you to an old username it doesn’t seem you use any longer.

Oh, damn. I should have expected that, but suddenly realized just how many old profiles I had under that name. Everything from dating profiles, to forums, to fanfiction. It went back as far as middle school.

Jake: I stopped after finding an old Xanga and LiveJournal. At that point, it no longer felt appropriate.

Okay, maybe he didn’t find my RPG posts. I hoped.

MC: I would have thought you’d find those entertaining. I was pretty angsty and faux-deep. Almost as bad as my sad folder. MC: Loved me some sparkly HTML backgrounds. MC: I got them all from a source of course, we can’t all be geniuses, and I considered myself something of a writer at the time. Coding was never my thing.

Hopefully, leaning into the embarrassment would get rid of the blush on my face. Plus, the second glass of wine was certainly helping to loosen my lips, er, fingers.

Jake: To be totally honest, I was far too busy remembering my own teenage angst to focus too heavily on yours. Jake: I scrubbed my own profiles years ago.

I smirked.

MC: Hm, now I’m curious what you used. MC: You can’t be too much younger than me if Xanga and LJ brought you back. MC: But I guess you could still be a late MySpace, early Facebook user and still remember those. MC: I’d bet good money you got your hands on a computer young, and probably had even less oversight than I did.

Jake: Mmh, but I thought your mom told you to be afraid of internet strangers.

MC: But she also believed I’d listen. It’s like she didn’t even know me. 🤭 MC: You’re probably not even the worst stranger danger I’ve let myself get involved with.

Another pause, but this one felt a little more comfortable. Maybe he was curious and wondering if he should ask. Or maybe he was pondering the meaning of “get involved with”. Maybe he just didn’t know how to reply.

Still, this time felt rather friendly, like the last hour or so had relaxed something in us both. I had no idea if he was flirting back or just clueless, but I didn’t sense any discomfort beyond maybe uncertainty.

Jake: MC, I have to go. Jake: But thank you, I enjoyed this time.

MC: Hopefully it made good practice for your next virtual date. 😝

Why would I say that? And why did that thought bother me that badly? Of him taking our conversation and using it to charm someone else?

That’s not good.

Jake: We shall see. Jake: :)

Well, fuck.

Honestly, I probably could have dwelled on that for the rest of the night. But nothing sobers a girl up and jerks her out of daydreaming about men quite like a rapid fire confession of lawbreaking from someone who you thought hated you, discovery of a lead on a kidnapping case, and realizing that the initials on that same lead may well match the initials of the guy you were just daydreaming about.

After a nearly sleepless night, I would come to realize that nothing cleared up exhaustion quite like a threatening call and learning that someone you knew was barely clinging to life, either.

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