#he thinks he can get away with not being good in movies because pete davidson isn’t very good in movies either but he doesn’t understand

[livvyofthelake]

they gotta stop putting machine gun kelly in movies i’m so serious. was just scrolling on hulu and saw this man and i was like hey why does that guy look like mgk? and then it was mgk. in another movie. we can’t keep letting them get away with this he’s not very good in movies stop putting him in them…

#bro talked too much shit and ostracized himself from rapping now he’s trying to do pop punk that’s only good in the summer #and also trying to be in movies. he’s just not that good in them tho… #he thinks he can get away with not being good in movies because pete davidson isn’t very good in movies either but he doesn’t understand #that pete has a charm that he doesn’t have. we let pete be bad at everything because he’s sad and pathetic and funny and we’re like eh it’s #fine if he wants to be bad at being in movies he’s entertaining to have around! #mgk doesn’t have That. he’s just bad at movies… #beth.txt #btw i can speak on this because i know what i’m talking about. i actually love these men don’t worry about it #i can talk as much shit as i want and i know exactly what i’m saying because i literally listen to this guy’s music recreationally #unfortunately. this is the hand i was dealt

[storiesforallfandoms]

clingy ~ pete davidson

word count: 1309

request?: yes!

“Could you do a clingy/cuddly Pete Davidson blurb ? Thank you”

description: in which he’s clingy after being away from her for too long

pairing: pete davidson x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

Pete hadn’t been gone all that long, a month at most to film his new movie. But it felt like so much longer since he had to be away from you for that time. Even though it was just one month, it was the longest he had to be away from you since you had started dating.

The plane ride home felt like it was taking forever. Pete felt like he couldn’t sit still, especially as the plane came closer and closer to their destination. When the plane finally landed and the passengers were given the okay to stand, Pete was out of his seat within seconds. He felt annoyed with how slow those around him were going. He just wanted to get off the plane and finally see you again.

You were waiting with a sign that read “loml” with a big heart next to it. Pete smiled and raced the rest of the way down the escalator. You giggled as he picked you up in his arms and spun you around.

“Pete, be careful!” you giggled as he nearly hit someone passing by the two of you.

“Sorry!” The man glared at the two of you as he kept walking. “Sorry you don’t understand love.”

You shushed him between giggles. He smiled down at you as he laced his fingers through yours. It felt so nice to be holding your hand again.

The two of you went to get his luggage and made your way to the car. Pete only let go of your hand when you had to get in the car, and even then he had his hand on your leg once the two of you had yourselves settled away and started driving home.

Walking through the door of your shared home brought immediately comfort and relief to Pete. He placed his suitcase on the floor of your bedroom and threw himself down onto the bed. You chuckled at him, standing in the doorway of the room.

Pete smiled and extended his arms. You excitedly crawled onto the bed and into Pete’s arms. You rested your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat, a comforting sound you realized in that moment that you had missed greatly.

“I could stay here forever,” Pete mumbled into your hair.

“Be careful, I may hold you to that,” you teased.

Pete chuckled and kissed the top of your head. He was so at ease that he felt his eyes growing heavy. He was idly running his hand up and down your back, and you felt his movements begin to slow as his head lulled against yours. Before you knew it, he was sound asleep.

You laid with him for a while, feeling wide awake from the first good night’s sleep you had gotten in a while. You listened to Pete’s steady breathing, the only sound that filled the room. Having him here made the place feel like home again. Although it was a small place, it felt so giant and empty when it was just you.

After a while, you slowly wiggled away from Pete’s embrace. You were careful not to wake him, gently lowering his head onto the pillow beneath him. He stirred briefly, but only to reposition himself then went back to being solid asleep.

As quietly as you could, you decided to start putting away the things in his suitcase. You made a pile of his dirty clothes to throw in the washer, put away whatever clean clothes he had left as well as the usual hygiene products - toothbrush, toothpaste, his own shampoo and body wash that he decided to take with him, etc.

You were carefully opening the closet to put his suitcase away when you heard him turn again. You thought nothing of it at first, just thinking he was turning over in his sleep, until you heard him speak.

“What are you doing all the way over there?”

You turned to look at him. He was obviously still half asleep - a sheepish smile on his face plus his still heavy eyelids were a dead giveaway. You smiled to yourself before closing the closet door.

“I was putting your things away,” you responded.

“You didn’t have to do that, babe, I can do it when I’m up again.”

You shrugged. “I don’t mind. I don’t have anything to do and I wanted to occupy myself while you were asleep.”

“You could’ve stayed in my arms and napped with me.”

“I’m not tired though, babe. I slept really well last night, and I didn’t want to just lay in bed while you slept.”

“Well, I’m awake now, so come back and cuddle me again.”

His neediness was amusing and adorable. You had never seen him this way before. You got back into bed with him, this time laying with your back to him and his arm wrapped around you. He took your hand in his, running his thumb along your knuckles.

“You’re not usually this cuddly,” you commented.

“I missed you.”

You giggled. “You were only gone a month.”

“I know, but I’ve never had to be gone this long before. Normally I’m just gone for a day or two if I’m filming with SNL, or I’ll be gone all day but I’ll still get to come home to you at night. I’ve never had to be away from you for this long since we started dating and it just...it felt wrong. Going to bed in the hotel every night, just me in this big bed. Not having that ability to even just come home and spend a few hours with you, or to come home to you at the end of the night, it really sucked.”

“I get it,” you said. “It was hard to wake up here by myself for so long. I sometimes forgot you were away filming so I’d just think you were making breakfast or gone to work, and when I’d remember it would make me a little sad.”

He squeezed you tightly, almost like he was reassuring you that he was there for good now.

“I never thought I’d want to cuddle as badly as I did while I was away,” he admitted. “Obviously I like to cuddle anyways, but every night I had this overwhelming urge to just have you in my arms. It almost became impossible to sleep for a while.’

“Yeah, I had many sleepless nights, too. I think the only reason I slept so well last night was because I knew you were coming home and I just wanted that to happen fast.”

He kissed your neck, light kisses that he peppered over your neck and as much of your shoulder as he could reach. Eventually, his kisses went up your neck and to your cheek. You smiled and turned your head so he could plant a kiss on your lips.

“I’m about to become very clingy,” he warned. “I hope you know that. I may not let you leave this bed for a long time.”

“You have to let me leave eventually. I gotta work.”

“Nope. I’ll call in sick for you. You’re staying in this bed until I’ve gotten over the month of missed cuddles.”

You tried to pull away from him, but his grip on you tightened. You started to playfully push at him, only for him to hold onto you tighter. You laughed and exclaimed with shock as he rolled over, taking you with him and holding you so close to him that you couldn’t get away. You managed to roll over to face him. He had a wide smile on his face, one that you couldn’t help but mirror.

“I guess I have no other choice,” you said.

“You don’t.”

“Well, in that case, I guess I better get used to my permanent residence in your arms.”

#pete davidson #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson x reader #imagine #one shot #blurb #drabble #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[hangovercurse]

Live from New York

You’re hosting SNL and get close with one of the cast members

Request: “hi! can you do something about pete where the reader is hosting snl and throughout the week they’re flirting with each other but she’s unsure if they should date and he convinces her? maybe a combo of fluff/angst/smut? it can be whatever :,)”

Pete x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: I told myself I wasn’t going to take that long on this one and then I ended up watching an entire documentary on the making of an SNL episode because I wanted to be as accurate as possible… someone stop me pls

Word Count: 2834

Monday

Despite being a swiftly rising actress, you hated being the enter of attention. You’d always gotten anxious as a kid when a teacher made you stand in front of the class for presentations or during first-day introductions. So being front and center in a room of 30 people who were all there to study and try to impress you was not something you found pleasant.

“Hi, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” You spoke timidly to the crowded room, people clapping from their spots on the floor or various couches around the room, “it’s great to be here.”

Lorne cleared his throat, “alright, let’s start with you, Anna.”

You looked around the room as a young woman pitched the first sketch of the night, listening intently to her ideas while trying to match faces with the names Lorne had given you earlier. Then your eyes locked with a pair of deep brown ones, the man wearing a soft smile on his face. He radiated gentle energy despite the tattoos you could see running down his arms.

The pitches continued with an air of lightheartedness and fun. You found nearly everything funny, so you couldn’t even begin to imagine how you were going to cut any of the sketch pitches.

After a lull in ideas, Lorne announced that cast members could now pitch ideas for Weekend Update character appearances. The man you’d taken an interest in earlier, who you’d since learned was named Pete Davidson, pitched a new set of characters for you and him.

“You know those weird stoner kids in high school who were always hanging out in the parking lot and acted really weird and mysterious? Those characters who just give really vague answers to anything you ask and act like they’ve seen some shit when they have the most normal home lives.”

You giggled, knowing the exact kinds of kids he was talking about. Colin and Michael also chuckled, writing the idea down with some notes of their own. Soon after that, everyone went back to pitching regular sketches, Jost and Che pitching an unusual number of sketches featuring you and Pete.

After a few long hours, the session wrapped; everyone leaving the office space except for you and Lorne, “so, what did you think?”

You chuckled lightly, “you have some seriously talented people on this show, Mr. Michaels. I don’t understand how you guys write an entire show every week.”

“We all work very hard; I’ll tell you that. Now, talk to me. Anything you really liked or really hated?”

You shrugged, “you’re the comedy mastermind, I know nothing. But I thought that weird kids from high school bit was pretty funny.”

Lorne nodded, “So did Jost and Che it seems. Sometimes the kid has a good idea.” You giggled at his reference to Pete as “the kid.” He sighed, “anything else? I noticed you liked that proposal sketch.”

“Yeah, that one was super funny. I will say, I wasn’t too in love with the dad-teacher one, but I would have no problem with it being done with someone else as the daughter.”

Lorne and you spent the rest of the workday discussing the different sketch ideas that came up and gauging what type of comedy suited you best. Before you left, he introduced you to Donna, your dresser who would be helping you out throughout the week.

Tuesday

After a quick tour of the studio by Donna, you were given a list of cast members and writers who wanted to meet with you to get ideas about sketches. You first stepped into a small room with a desk and futon, Donna introducing you to Chloe Fineman and Celeste Yim.

Chloe smiled brightly at you, “okay, so we were thinking that we could do something where I bring you to a sleepover with some friends that you don’t know. But at some point, you try to go to sleep because you have a soccer tournament in the morning but everyone else is being loud and it turns into this big overdramatic argument.”

You giggled softly, “I love that!”

After writing with them for a while, you were whisked away to room after room, finally landing in Colin Jost and Michael Che’s office, where they were hunched over a computer with Pete.

Colin smiled at you, “hey Y/N, how’s your day been?”

“Busy, how are you guys?”

The men responded with variations of “good,” before Michael spoke, “I know it’s late, so don’t feel obligated to stay longer than you’re comfortable with.”

You shrugged, “what time is it? It doesn’t feel that late.”

Pete laughed, teasing Colin and Michael, “c’mon guys, don’t you know that the young people of New York don’t sleep?”

You giggled in agreement as Colin frowned, “I’m only 38, that’s not that old.”

“I’m only 26, Colin,” you said, laughing at the men.

Michael patted Colin on the shoulder, “Jost, we’re getting old.”

Colin frowned before clearing his throat, “anyways, we had a couple ideas for some sketches with you and Pete, if you’re up for it, and we wanted to hash out your weekend update appearance.”

You smiled and nodded, “yeah, that sounds great.”

The rest of the night (and into the early morning) was spent with the three men, eventually joined by Heidi Gardner and Kyle Mooney to work them into the scripts. A majority of the writing process was simply messing around with various sketch situations until someone found a joke that worked best.

Pete watched you carefully the entire night, doing everything in his power to make you laugh. You had no complaints, doing your best to not openly flirt with him in front of the rest of the cast (and failing quite miserably).

Wednesday

Wednesday was the designated day for the roundtable readthrough. You took a place between Pete and Lorne, who began the reading, “we’ve got 41 sketches so let’s get started.”

The table read was just like any other you’d been through; Lorne wasting no time between sketches to discuss or joke. You struggled with containing your laughter throughout the reading, trying to act professionally. It didn’t help that Pete was making jokes any chance he got, eliciting even more giggles from you.

The three hours seemed to take no time at all as sketch after sketch was read out loud. Every so often you would catch Lorne looking at you with an eyebrow raised, usually after you read one of the sketches with Pete.

After everyone was dismissed, you were led to Lorne’s office with the head writers and producers. There was a large wall covered in sticky notes with each sketch’s name written on one. Lorne turned to you, “what do you think?”

You scanned the wall, listing off some of the sketches that you really liked, though most of them were  great, so you had trouble narrowing them down.

Lorne let out a small laugh, “you guys noticed how she picked out the sketches with Pete in them, too, right?”

Your face went hot, immediately turning to face the ground. Colin and Michael chuckled, “we noticed,” the latter commented.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, Y/N, just wanted to point it out to you.” Lorne teased before turning back to the wall and thinking.

You giggled, “you guys suck.”

As embarrassed as you were, your anxiety was surprisingly low. You had been worried about hosting since you got the invite, but the cast and crew had been nothing but kind to you. Even just being able to make jokes like this with the writers made you feel oddly comforted.

You worked on narrowing down which sketches to keep for rehearsals and which ones were going to get cut immediately, a job that was very easy for Lorne but very difficult for you.

Eventually you got it down to enough sketches that Lorne was satisfied and he sent out the list to the cast. He led you out of his office, “you know, you have a real affinity for comedy,” he told you. “I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about sketch comedy, but from that read through you seem to know what you’re doing.”

You blushed slightly, thanking him, “we’ll see if you’re still saying that on Saturday.”

He chuckled, “have a good night.” You waved at him as you walked towards the exit, running into none other than Pete Davidson.

“Hey, you headed out?”

You smiled, “yeah, just got out of my meeting with Lorne. Did you get a chance to look at the revised sketch schedule?”

Pete nodded, walking with you to the door of the theater, “yeah, I noticed you kept a lot of our sketches in there,” he bumped your shoulder, a playful smirk on his face.

A giggle rolled from your lips, “what can I say? We’re funny together.”

He raised an eyebrow, watching as you flagged down your taxi, “whatever you say.”

“Are you complaining about having to work with me?” You asked, opening the door.

He chuckled, “oh yeah. I am just dreading tomorrow.” Sarcasm laced his words, making you laugh.

“Goodnight, Pete.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

Thursday

Donna ushered you around all day, making sure you were in the rehearsal space when you needed to be and supporting you from the side. This part of the process came naturally to you, as it was the most similar to rehearsing and filming on movie sets.

When you weren’t rehearsing a scene, you were hanging out with Pete. It was strange how easily you got along, your humors aligning almost perfectly. Not to mention he was a huge flirt and was making it more and more obvious with you. You flirted right back, earning looks of amusement from Lorne throughout the day.

The day was a whirlwind, and by the time you were able to go home, you were exhausted. Pete walked you out to the street again, talking about one of the sketches that went wrong earlier until your taxi pulled up. This time he opened the door for you and helped you inside, “see you tomorrow.”

You smiled up at him, “bright and early.”

Friday

After hours of rehearsing, you plopped onto the couch in Pete’s dressing room, where you had found yourself a home over the past few days, “I don’t know how you guys do this every week. I’ve been here for four days and I’m exhausted.”

Pete chuckled, “to be fair, you’re the host. The key is to try and only get one sketch into the show so that you don’t have to do anything during the week.”

You laughed, letting a comfortable silence fall over you. Pete studied you, taking in your tired appearance, “you’re doing great though, being a host. I’ve seen some people come in and try to take control of everything and then no one has fun. You’re really good at just letting the comedy speak for itself. Not many people do that.”

Shrugging, you responded, “I mean, I’m not a comedian, I’m just an actor. You guys come up with everything. I don’t know enough to try and control things around here, I just do what I can to make your visions come to life. I figured that’s what a host should do.”

Pete nodded, “yeah, but again, a lot of people want their SNL episode to look a certain way. You don’t seem to care.”

“I just want to have fun, honestly.”

He smirked, “are you?”

You looked up to him with a smile on your face, “definitely.”

Suddenly the speaker in the room rang out, “Y/N and Pete to main stage 1.”

Groaning, you lifted yourself from the couch, Pete watching you with amusement, “c’mon Ms. Host, we’ve got a show to rehearse.”

Saturday

The day was hectic; filled with rehearsal after rehearsal. Lorne and Donna made sure that you were comfortable all day, but you could feel the stress radiating from every inch of the studio.

Stronger than that, though, was the sense of excitement buzzing around everyone. You were fit into more costumes than you could count, all leading up to the final dress rehearsal of the night in front of the live studio audience.

Dress ran smoothly, but you could see Lorne cutting lines from sketches from stage out of the corner of your eye. Luckily, Pete distracted you from all the anxious energy. “I know Lorne looks like a psychopath, but that’s just what he does. Everything’s fine, don’t stress about it,” he said over dinner.

You chuckled, “thanks. I feel so out of my league this week.”

“I told you, you’re great. Everyone here loves you. I heard Lorne talking about wanting you back as soon as possible.”

Rolling your eyes, you responded, “yeah right, I’m never gonna do anything big enough to get me on this show again.”

Pete laughed, “you could always make guest appearances with me on the Weekend Update.”

“You aren’t sick of me already?” you joked.

After dinner you were paraded around by Donna, who got you into your style for opening monologue. She smiled at you through your dressing room mirror, “how are you feeling?”

You gave her a nervous smile, “terrified, but ready.”

The lady chuckled, “you’ll do great. I’ll be right offstage if you need anything.”

“Thank you, for everything this week.”

She squeezed your shoulders, “don’t mention it, though if you really want to thank me, go ask that Davidson boy out on a date.”

Your eyes went wide, “Donna!”

A chuckle rang out through the room, “what? I say it for your own good.”

She led you through a maze of hallways and tunnels until you were in place to walk onstage, the speaker announcing your name to the audience followed by cheers.

Exactly 90 minutes later you were gathered with the cast on stage, “thank you to Fletcher, Lorne Michaels, this amazing cast and crew, and thank you all for watching. Goodnight everybody!”

You turned to Pete, who was standing beside you and let him pull you in for a hug, “you did it!” he cheered.

You passed around the cast, giving hugs to as many people as you can before Lorne announced, “that’s a wrap on Y/N Y/L/N and Fletcher!”

Everyone cheered, clapping for you and your musical guest before heading to their dressing rooms to change into their night clothes. You went back to your own dressing room, taking a moment to bask in the feeling of accomplishment.

A knock on your door pulled you out of your haze, “come in!”

Pete entered the room, a wide smile on his face, “congrats!” You let him pull you in for another hug, “so I know that there’s supposed to be this big party after the show, but I was wondering if you’d let me take you to dinner instead?”

Your breath got caught in your throat, those words being the last thing you expected to hear from him. Of course, you wanted to say yes because you did, truthfully, really like him. But part of you was hesitant.

You’d dated your fair share of celebrities, and things always ended very publicly and typically poorly. On top of that, you couldn’t help but feel that this might be happening a bit too quick. You started to doubt that he would still have feelings for you in a week since he wouldn’t be around you nearly all the time.

And then there was the issue of your insane work schedules. Having just lived through his, you weren’t sure if you would be able to keep a relationship like that.

“Pete, I think you’re amazing and I really like you, I just-“

Pete nodded his head, cutting you off, “I know we only met like a couple of das ago, but people go on dates with literal strangers all the time.”

You sighed, “it’s not that, Pete, it’s just that…” you paused, searching for words, “things like this tend to be very public with me, and I really don’t want to have a relationship where there’s all this pressure by the media to be perfect.”

He shrugged, “I get that, but it’s just dinner. And we can go somewhere quiet and private, no one has to know. And if things go further then we’ll just keep it on the down low until you’re ready. Trust me, I know what a public relationship is like, I’m not a huge fan either.”

“Yeah, but what about your work schedule. I mean, I’ve only lived in your world for six days and I want to sleep for a month. How do you even hold a relationship on this schedule?”

Pete moved closer to you, fingers grazing your arm, “we can make it work. I promise. Just give me one date, and if it’s not the best first date of your life, you have no further obligations to me.”

You giggled lightly, leaning into his touch, “I’m only saying yes because you’re kinda cute.”

He smiled down at you, eyes twinkling, I’ll take it.”

#pete davidson #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson fluff #snl

[plentyoffandoms]

WELL, SHIT!

Pete Davidson x f/Reader

Like all my other stories, this has not been proofread.

Gif does not belong to me.

Masterlist ♡ Pete Davidson Masterlist ♡ Well, Shit! Masterlist

During an interview, Pete tells the story about how he fell in love with his long-time best friend.

PETE'S POV:

*During the interview with Charlamagne Tha God.*

"Pete, we have talked about pretty much everything during the interview, but what every one is wanting to know, do you have any one in your life right now? Like romantically?" Charlamagne asked the question I knew would be coming up.

"Yes I do have a girlfriend. We have been together for almost a year and half now but we have known each other since we were fucking kids."

I took a sip of water and continued.

"Her name is Y/N and we have known each other since before my Dad died. Besides Colson and Mulaney, she is my best friend. We grew up down the street from each other and like my Dad, her Dad was a fire fighter as well."

"Was a fire fighter?"

"Yeah, he also died because of 9/11 but he died due to an injury a few days later. Either way, our Dads were best friends and did every thing together. So it was not a shocker to any one when Y/N and I grew up to be best friends. But after losing my dad, I lashed out at every one and I lost most of my friends. Y/N, who was going through the same shit I was, stood by me and tried to make sure I was okay."

"Even at the age of 6 or 7 she was trying to take care of you?" Charlamagne questioned.

"Oh fuck yeah. Long before I was diagnosed with BPD, she was always there to pull me out of my thoughts. Y/N was the one who found me after I pulled all my hair out. Pulled my hands away from my head and held them in her hands and called for my mom."

I cleared my throat and continued.

"Y/N was the one who pushed for me to get tested to see if anything was wrong with me when I couldn't get out of bed. She was the one who mentioned maybe it could be crohns disease as her mom also has it."

"What made her think it was crohns to begin with Pete?"

"She asked her mom and her mom listed off the symptoms she had. Couldn't maintain body weight. Couldn't get out of bed due to the lack of energy, etc. All the same shit I was going through."

"Ohh okay. That makes sense."

"Yeah and sadly she was the one who noticed all the cuts on my chest. Broke my heart to see her cry, but that was one of the many times she has seen me at rock bottom. When people laughed at my dreams of being a comedian, she was right there, going to all the comedy clubs and gigs to support me."

I can feel my chest tighten as I continued.

"When she went away to college, we kept in contact most of the time, but I literally could not handle alot of shit. I started to use harder drugs and ended up in the hospital."

"You don't have to continue if you don't want too Pete." Charlamagne said after I stopped talking.

"Nah, I'm good. So I ended up in the hospital and I woke up to a hand on top of mine and the person was sleeping. I thought it was my Mom or my sister, but it was Y/N. I was confused on why she was there but then I remembered where I was. I moved my hand and she woke up. I questioned why she was there when she was supposed to be at school."

"You never said what school she went too. Was it close to Staten Island?"

I let out a laugh and said, "nope. She was actually going to Stanford University all the way in California at the time. My sister was the one who called her. They are very close, and Y/N got on the next available flight home. We were about 19 or so when that happened. My own girlfriend at the time did not even show up and I stayed with her for a bit after that."

I shook my head at myself and how stupid I was.

"Besides my own family Y/N was one of the first people I told about joining SNL. She was home for the summer and we were having our weekly movie and pizza night. She was so excited for me that she jumped and the two of us landed on the couch with her on top of me. She kept telling me how happy she was for me and that she knew I will be amazing."

I let out a laugh. "Charlamagne, it was at that moment I was like well, shit! I am in love with my best friend, but I couldn't say anything to her then. She was dating some one else at the time and I also did not want to ruin our friendship."

"Makes sense man."

"After that, we were never single at the same time. I was in more relationships than she was. Her boyfriends did not like me and how close we were and same with every girl I was with. Our then partners could not understand the bond we had and many tried to break our friend ship and one almost did."

"This is getting pretty deep. Y/N okay with all this being said?"

"Yeah, 100. We discussed this before I came on here. We knew people would want to know if I am with any one. So it is all good."

I took a few gulps of water and continued on.

"When I was with Ariana, Y/N was with someone as well. I knew it was serious between Y/N and him. I proposed to Ariana and then he proposed to Y/N. Well we all know what happened between Ariana and me. I became extremely suicidal with every thing that happened and I ended up going to rehab."

"Yeah, I remember that. Not many people talk about going to rehab."

"You are correct Charlamagne. But anyways, after my stint in rehab, every one who I consider important in my life was at the small welcome home party my mom and sister threw for me, but Y/N was not there. I asked her mom where she was and her mom informed me that she was trying to get a hold of Y/N all morning but it kept going to her voicemail."

"I tried to call her, my mom, Colson. Even got my sister to try as Y/N always picked up the phone for her. Colson and I went to the apartment that she shared with her now ex. The place was destroyed and I found her phone, which was dead, found her charger and charged her phone for a bit. Colson called the cops while I looked for Y/N."

I had to calm myself down before I exploded with anger.

"I found Y/N laying in bed with bruises all over her body, well at least I could see. She had a fresh black eye and looked like she was bleeding due to some cuts. My mind went in to over drive and Colson who heard me scream came running into the room and saw her and called 911 again to make sure an ambulance came as well. I collapsed beside the bed and made sure she was breathing. The cops got there almost right after that and the paramedics took Y/N and Colson and I followed the ambulance in my car. Colson drove as I called my mom to tell her what the fuck was going on."

"Where was the asshole who did that to her?"

"Her ex-fianceé came home and was arrested. I was later told he beat her in a blind rage after she informed him she was coming to see me."

"What a piece of shit Pete."

"Yes he is. But I hardly left the hospital as for once it was the other way around. Every single time I was in the hospital, she was there. Every stint in rehab, Y/N was there. The Doctors kept her sedated so her body could heal. Broke my heart to see the woman I love laying in bed beaten because of a piece of shit abuser."

I continued on. "After a few days, Y/N woke up but was in the hospital for almost a month. The only time I left was to go home to shower and change my clothes. My sister, me and Colson went to her apartment and grabbed what was not ruined and brought it all back to my Cave. Y/N came out of the hospital and I took her home with me and I hardly left her side. If I wasn't home, some one was always with her."

"When did you finally confess your feelings?"

"Probably two months after all of this shit. We were having our weekly movie and pizza night. Sitting on the couch, cuddling like we have always done, and I couldn't stop staring at her and I just blurted it out."

Charlamagne broke out into laughter. "After all this time, you just blurted it out?"

"Well yeah man. I was staring at her and she was smiling. Not a fake smile that she was giving to people when they asked her how she was doing, but her honest to goodness smile. I said 'I love you.' and I waited for her to be like oh I love you too but like a friend."

I know couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"This woman literally turned her head, looked at me in the eyes for a moment and pulled my head down to her and we kissed and as she pulled away, she leaned her forehead against mine and said I love you too Pete. Always have."

"Now that is some romantic shit. She seems to be good for you Pete."

"Yeah she is. She makes sure I take my medications, that I am eating and pulls me out of my dark place. It is like she has some sixth sense about when that is going to happen. Unlike the other women I have been with, who believed they could 'fix me,' Y/N just knows to be there for me. She has stated that I do not need to fixed but just need some one there for me and she is right...like she usually is on most things."

"That is quite the romantic story there Pete. Got anything else going on?"

My smile was wide as a spoke. "Well Charlamagne, I am going to be a father in about two months."

Part 2

#pete davidson #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson x you #pete davidson imagine #reader imagine #reader insert #female reader #reader is female #fluff #pete davidson fic #pete davidson fanfiction

[marvelslut16]

Oblivious

Prompt number: 18 “you don’t see it?”

Fandom: Saturday night live? Pete Davidson?

Paring: Pete Davidson x reader 

Rating: T

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: An asshole cheater. Mentions of Ariana Grande (yes that’s a warning- don’t come for me). Swearing. Mentions of slight sexting- just mentions boobs nothing graphic. Mentions rehab. Slightly angsty ends fluffy.

A/N: So I broke my one rule and wrote for an actual person. Pete Davidson is precious and doesn’t deserve the hate he gets. I was also almost hella basic because I was so close to titling this the king of Staten Island. Anywho, the cheating scum part of this story happened to me and I immediately thought Pete would never do this to me- so I wrote this lmao. I think my love for the Knicks seeped into this story a bit. 

You had been talking to a guy for close to three months now. You thought he was charming, and sweet, and he was built like a god! You’re friends were a little weary, none more than Pete, when you admitted you hadn’t met up with the man yet. Their faces would go from being happy for you to pitting you instantly. But you knew you weren’t being catfished, you video called with Henry multiple times a week. While Henry wasn’t your first choice, he never would be, you were starting to see a future with him. 

But that vision went to shit with one simple text. You had gotten a new bra, maroon and lacy, and boy did it make the girls look good! Feeling a little flirty in your new bra, you texted a picture to Henry to be a little tease while he was at work. Almost instantly you got a text back, and it read; ‘shit baby, you’re tits are way better than my girlfriends!’ with multiple heart eye and drooling emojis to follow. 

You had never felt more embarrassed in your life! And that’s saying something considering Pete makes jokes about you on SNL and in his standup routines, all approved by you beforehand of course. You had met Pete years ago, while he was scrawnier than he is now, had a lot less tattoos, and right when he was just starting SNL. You had bumped into him on the sidewalk while trying to catch a cab in the pouring rain, you expected to be yelled at with a thick New York accent for what felt like the millionth time that day, but it never came. Instead Pete hailed the cab for you but not before exchanging numbers and promising to show you around since you had just moved to the city for college. 

After showing you around the next day, you were surprised when he continued to text you for the next month. To pay him back for his generosity you took him to see a Knicks game, lucky for you your dormmate had a fight with her boyfriend so she sold the tickets to you for dirt cheap. The seats weren’t great, all the way up in the nosebleed section, but you were in Madison Square Garden watching the Knicks! Pete was pleasantly surprised by you when you could name the players and you actually knew how the game was played, unlike girls he had dated. Of course before you left the arena you had to splurge and got yourself a Carmelo Anthony jersey! 

Many years and Knicks games later you’re still friends with Pete. You’d call him your best friend, but you know Colson is his even if he claims it’s you when you’ve asked in the past. You’d be by Pete’s side every time he admitted himself into rehab- making sure you were there to pick him up when he got out. You had been there to pick up the pieces after Ariana- hell you were picking them up when they were still together. You were beside him every time he got bullied off his social media by stupid haters or little Ariana stans after they broke up. He made sure to be at your graduation, and he was there to rant to when you had a bad day at work. Pete was there to hold your hand when you got your first tattoo, which he wanted to pick out for you but you refused. Pete was there to pick up your pieces when a guy hurt you, like right now. 

You’re in his basement, curled into his right side, his right arm slung securely over your shoulder, his fingertips making soothing trails up and down your arm. You had convinced him to watch an old episode of SNL- before he was on it, but new enough that Kate McKinnon and Bill Hader were on it together. You snuggle further into his warm side and let out a content sigh. 

“You were too good for him, (Y/N/N),” Pete finally brings up the elephant in the room. You had hoped that watching an episode of SNL would put the ‘you deserve better than him, he’s just scum,’ talk Pete gives you every time you go through a break up.

“If I was too good for him, then I’d still be with him,” you murmur a line from the movie clueless into his baby pink sweatshirt covered chest. 

“None of these guys deserved you, (Y/N/N),” Pete says sternly, you roll your eyes not in the mood for him to tell you how amazing you are but not make a move on you, yet again.

“Pete, stop,” you pull away from his chest, his arm falling off you as you scoot to the front of the cushion. “I really don’t want to have this conversation again, no matter how many times you tell me I still won’t believe you. I should get going, don’t want to miss the last ferry back to the city.”

“(Y/N), please, wait,” Pete’s skinny fingers wrap around your wrist as you stand and go to walk towards the door. “We just ordered pizza, just stay the night.”

“I can’t Pete,” you whisper, staring down at your sock covered feet, you had gotten Pete to take better care of his hardwood floors by convincing him to have a no shoe policy. “Give some pizza to your mom and your sister.”

“You’re off tomorrow, you originally planned on staying,” if you didn’t know any better you’d say his voice was laced with hurt and disappointment. “Why won’t you stay now?”

“I can’t keep doing this Pete,” loud laughing coming from the studio audience on the now forgotten episode of SNL only seems to be mocking you and your feelings. “Every time you tell me how amazing I am and you don’t- it’s just hard to believe when no one seems to agree with the sentiment.” 

“You don’t see it?” his voice is soft, he stands from his seat, getting momentarily stuck in the blanket that was draped over your laps. “You really don’t see it,” this time it’s not a question, it’s a statement. 

“See what Pete?” he lets go of your wrist to spin you around to face him. 

“That I’m in love with you,” his eyes shine in sincerity, but they aren’t what you’re focusing on. “That I have been since that first Knicks game!”

“You don’t love me,” your voice shakes as you stare at the heart that was once Ariana’s bunny ears peaking out above his left ear. You reach up and gently trace your finger over the heart. “You’ve dated models, and movie stars. You were engaged to Ariana, even after you knew she didn’t want us to be friends. Because she didn’t trust me. You didn’t love me Pete, you chose her, and yet I was still there to pick up the pieces after you ignored me for months, because I love you. Because I didn’t care how much I was hurting, I knew I had to be there to make you feel better, to be able to see your smile again.”

“I was settling for Ariana!” he grabs your cheeks so you can’t look away. “I thought I could get her to warm up to you, I’ve never wanted you out of my life (Y/N)! You were with Eric at the time, it hurt like hell to see you that happy with someone that wasn’t me! So I proposed to Ariana because Eric bragged that he had a ring for you! But then you guys broke up and I couldn’t just break up with her right after I proposed.”

“Eric did propose, I said no and broke it off,” you smile sadly. “He, like Ariana, didn’t want us to spend time together, so I dumped him. All of the guys eventually realize they’re second to you, so they either break up with me or ask me not to see you anymore. And I was selfish every single time, I hurt them so I could be happy with you in my life.” 

“Fine, you want the truth?” Pete asks, and you nod. “It wasn’t the Knicks game. I knew I wanted to date you that night. But the first time I knew I loved you was when you came with my mom to pick me up from rehab the first time after we were. You didn’t run far away from me, you still wanted to be around me and you put up with my shit. Everyone leaves when I go to rehab, they think I’m too much to handle.”

“Well I don’t! I never have Pete!” you’re crying by now. 

“I know! Fuck, you’re too damn perfect for me (Y/N). I convinced myself for so long you were too good for me, that you couldn’t love me,” you don’t know how to verbally respond, so you do the first thing that comes to your mind. 

You grab the back of Pete’s neck and pull him into a kiss, it’s all teeth and tongue. The passion sends jolts of electricity through your body, a wave of giddiness rolls over you as you realize that this is really happening. You’re really kissing Pete, he really loves you too. As the kiss continues it becomes slower and more gentle, both of you want this feeling to last as long as it can. When you finally pull back, lungs burning and desperately in need of air, the feeling of his lips linger on yours. 

“I do love you, (Y/N/N). There’s never really been anyone else,” he caresses your cheek and gently brushes his lips on your forehead. 

“I love you too Pete,” you lean in for a peck, which he quickly deepens. You pull away giggling, “so much.”

Permeant tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny​

#pete davidson x reader #fictober20 #day 6 of fictober #Pete Davidson #pete davidson snl #fictober 2020 #fictober #i love pete davidson #pete davidson x you #pete davidson x y/n #snl #snl imagine #this man deserves the world #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson fanfiction #pete davidson one shot

[eyoricka]

Secret dating - Pete Davidson x singer!reader

First thing, I am sorry for my rather long absence I was moving to another country and way to stress. But now I have to spend ten days in quarantine so I will try to catch up and write all the asks I received in the meantime. So sorry for the delay and I hope the waiting will worth it!!

Also this is the first part of a small series about Pete x singer!reader because I had few asks on this theme! Hope you will enjoy

 Words: 1600+

Warning: none I guess

You had been dating Pete for few months. You decided to keep it low profile. It wasn’t really a secret; your friends and families were aware that you were together but you didn’t want the whole world to know. You had seen Pete’s debacle with his exes, and he witnessed yours. You both agreed to not to make it public this soon since you wanted to avoid paps, gossips articles, harassment online and to hear everybody’s opinion. You were surprised that no one caught the two of you or speculated on your relationship. Maybe the both of you being friends for years, evolving within the same circle of people helped you. When people saw the two of you strolling, getting ice cream together, no magazines titled about how cute this date was but rather on how good it was for you to have such good friends in your life.

These past couple of weeks, it had been hard to spend some quality time with Pete. You had to flew to LA to assist to the Grammys and you missed your boyfriend so much through out the ceremony. You wished that you could have hold his hands during the stressful waiting, kissed him when you heard your name, thanked him when you gave your acceptance speech or feel his hand drawing absurd figure in your back to relax you while you were waiting to perform. Then after going back to New York, you hadn’t had that much time. Your publicist had packed you with interviews and gigs during late night shows. It was tiring but worth it. Your career was on a clear path to success. You were finally considered as not another pop star but one of the biggest artists out there. Pete was so supportive of you. You lived for his lovely text messages to give you strength before each performance or his compliments on how beautiful you looked on TV, how smart your answers were, how funny you were during an interview game.

You had eventually managed to find an afternoon just for you and Pete. You enjoyed a home-cooked meal at his place and could help but melt every time he was laughing while recounting his week. You simply spend the rest of the afternoon watching cartoons. It was your way to decompress together. Pete would always prepare some snacks while you set everything up. Then you would lose at least ten minutes to choose which cartoons or movies to watch. You usually had long debate on whether SpongeBob was better than Scooby-doo. Pete would always take you in his arms while you were watching, peppering your neck with kisses and smelling your hair. He liked the smell of your shampoo arguing that it reminded him of happiness. That was so cliché and yet so adorable, you couldn’t make fun of this cheesiness.

You were slowly falling asleep engulfed by Pete’s warmth, this was cozy, it felt like home. Suddenly, you heard your phone buzzed and sighed. It was your agent, asking you where you were to pick you up to go an interview. You texted her your address while you looked for something to put on for the TV. You liked very much the clothes you had on but you doubted that their shades would be nice on camera. As you were researching the perfect outfit in underwear, trying on several combo, you congratulated yourself for letting some clothes at your boyfriend’s place. You were hesitating between two tops and asked Pete’s opinion. After a quick joke on how good you looked in underwear and that you probably should go like this, he made up his mind for the baby blue top.

You rushed outside to be picked by your team but not before sharing a sweet but passionate kiss with Pete and agreeing to spend the night at your place after the show. Your team smiled at you knowingly as you entered the car but they didn’t make any comment on your relationship. You discussed the show, the possible questions and what the best answers would be… The ride was pretty quiet after that and you soon arrived at the building where the show was taped. You were warmly welcomed by the host. You had already done some interviews with him, he was easy to talk to, always made you comfortable and was rather fun to be around. He lead you to the make-up artist trailer who didn’t fail to notice your tired look but promised you that it was nothing than a bit of foundation and powder could hide. Indeed, after only 15 minutes there you were glowing, looking fresh, like a fairytale princess leaving her bed.

As you were waiting to be called on stage, you received a message from Pete telling you that he was excited to see you on the show, that no matter what you were the best and that he was eager to see you tonight to finish the nap you had started together. You quickly replied before entering the stage. The interview went rather smoothly. You had begun with questions about your last album and upcoming project teasing a possible collab with Taylor Swift. The crowd went wild at this info and you knew that you would certainly end up in top tweets. After a commercial, you played a game with the host where you had to sing a random song imitating another artist. Clearly, it was not your forte, but you were funny enough to make it a good moment to watch. Then, you proceeded to answers some more interrogations from the public that could be found on social media. Those questions were a lot more personal and globally more focused on your art, compositions, writing skills, inspiration. You were passionate, your eyes were big with enthusiasm and you did a lot of gesture with your hand with made the host smile.

You were so happy that when a question about your dating life came up, you didn’t think twice before saying “Well I am the luckiest person, I have my dream career and dating Pete Davidson is just the cherry on the top, you know. He is just so perfect for me, like me understand and support each other, it just so great when you can share all those moments with someone you love and trust.” As you finished your rant, you noticed how the host was staggered. You finally realized what you had revealed and blushed furiously. “Did you just announce publicly that you are dating SNL cast member Pete Davidson?”. It was like words were dying in your throat and you envisioned Pete’s reaction at this. Surely it was not how you had planned to go public. You nodded shyly and the show stopped there. The host thanks the audience who was visibly thrilled, and you made your way backstage. You compulsively checked your phone every five seconds waiting for a text from your now very public boyfriend. But none came and it was worse. You felt so bad, you never wanted to put him in such a position, you were not sure that he was ready to go public, face the world’s reaction but here you were because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut.

Your team drove you back to your place assuring you that it was okay, he couldn’t be mad at you for this but actually he legitimately could. They insist that you should check your social media, people were very supportive of you, saying that you were so cute together, goals… however you didn’t think that it was a good idea right now, you head spinning with the prospect to face Pete.

You silently entered your house waiting for Pete to arrive, a huge lump in your stomach. You felt so guilty, obviously you had to ruin everything, didn’t you. You were in your kitchen drinking a hot cocoa to calm your nerve when you heard Pete unlocked your front door with his spare keys. You didn’t dare to approach him and let him come in the room, your hands shaking so bad that you had spilled some hot beverage on it. You didn’t really feel the burning sensation, you were too scared of what he would say. To make it even more torturing he remained silent as he glanced at you. he eventually approached you and put away your cup as he took your injured hand in his. He put it under cold water and you let him do it, not understanding what was happening. “Do you think that I hate you or that I am angry at you for making it public without talking about it first?” he stated more than questioned as he stood behind you with his hand on yours. “Yes” you sighed looking down. He made you turned to face him and since you were still not looking at him, he put gently his hand on your face and lift it up. His face was so calm and soft, not what you were expecting at all. “I don’t mind, I mean sure it would have been better to discuss it and find a way together to announce it but you didn’t did on purpose. You were just so excited and you didn’t really think of it so I can’t blame you. I certainly would have done the same. Also, how I can be mad at someone who is so cute and so adorable when talking about me. You know what you say about us, it means a lot to me, a lot more than you can imagine. I love you, okay, and I don’t care if the whole world knows as long as you know it.” He smiled down at you and brushed away some tears that you hadn’t realize where rolling down your face. He cusped your cheeks and kissed your forehead as you buried yourself in his shirt.

#pete davidson #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson fanfic #pete davidson imagine #snl fanfic #fluff

[tiniestjellifish]

Good Time (2017)

I watched this movie because of the day Pete Davidson and Robert Pattinson were on Jimmy Fallon together and Pete just wouldn’t stop gushing about what a good movie this is. And I was like hm,, Robert is slowly creeping up to being one of my favorite actors. I should watch this. And so this has been on the watch list for quite a bit of time but I think in my head I was scared to watch it because I would’ve been sad if it wasn’t as good as I’d wanted it to be. But I did watch it today! and here’s my review. (spoiler: I liked it).

So, off the premise of the movie alone I was skeptical of how much they could do. but also, I just didn't know where it was going to go at all. I will do my best to have no spoilers in this review because its a movie that is best when the viewer goes in blind. 

But this movie was about Connie Nikas (Robert Pattinson) and his brother Nick (Ben Safdie) who is special needs, and they rob a bank together. His brother being special needs is pertinent to the story, otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it. But him and the brother rob the bank like I said, and the reason they’re robbing this bank is because Connie wants to be able to live on his own with his brother. And he thinks his grandma sees him as less than, so he needs this money to go buy them a farm.

They rob the bank just fine but then they dye packs explode and it becomes a whole thing. They get chased by police and Connie gets away but Nick doesn’t. So the movie follows Connie doing everything he can to get his brother out of jail. 

The movie was so interesting to me in that way, Connie is such a natural hustler in ways I wouldn't have been able to think of on the fly. And he does it time after time in this movie. With such ease. And it makes you think of how often he’s thinking 5 steps ahead for him AND his brother.

They lay so much ground work for him as a very layered, developed, and nuanced character. He's incredibly morally grey to a point where you’re rooting for him since he’s your protagonist but the second he achieved what he needed to, you’d probably go right back to hating him. 

This movie is HEAVY with sound design, which is not a bad thing. there’s so much powerful and bass heavy instrumental that carries a lot of the intense scenes. and makes scenes intense when you wouldn’t normally have been on edge. the whole movie stresses you out in a way.

They also flesh out a lot of the side characters, not so much so that its annoying but enough that you don’t feel like random people got added in just to be there.

There’s an incredible overhead chase scene at the end of the film, along with a camera shot change from the eyes of Connie to Nick, which was gorgeous. 

I think there’s a lot to be said on whether or not Connie is doing what’s best for Nick or if he’s doing what he THINKS is best for Nick.

All in all, very well done movie. My main little spark of indifference was towards the relationship he has with a girl Crystal in the film. Beat by beat in the movie I understand the thought process Connie has for the most part as far as her involvement and why he’s doing what he's doing. But regardless, physical involvement with minors in any form with always leave a bad taste in my mouth. But the actress playing Crystal was 19 at the time of filming, so on those grounds I’m not so concerned.

Rating: 9.8/10 (yes, I’m stingy with my 10s. what kind of page would I be if I just handed out 10s like it was an ‘everything must go’ sale?).

#goodtime #robert pattinson #ben safdie #movie review #film critic #film recommendations #hot take

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Riverdale//without you i’d be nothing

Request: Reader plays a Northsider River Vixen on Riverdale and when the show’s on hiatus the cast takes a trip to New Orleans and her boyfriend Douglas Booth invites them to see him film a scene as Nikki Sixx for the Netflix movie The Dirt and he and reader are super cute after he finishes the scene and the cast totally ships them. The scene is from the YouTube video The Dirt - Shout at the Devil/with backstage (Turkish subtitle). Nikki’s bass guitar in the opening of the scene is really cool.

hey! i really hope you like this!! and i also hope you’re having a good day! 

“Hey guys! It’s me, Madelaine and welcome to the last day of shooting before our hiatus!” Madelaine beams into the camera and you lift your head up from your phone to watch her talk excitedly at the camera. 

“I’m sort of sad because I’m gonna miss all of these.” She does a twirl to show off the rest of the cast sat waiting to start filming and they all take a break from talking to wave and smile at the camera. “But I am very excited for the break. Plus, we won’t really be away from each other for long because in a few days we’re going on holiday!! Aren’t we guys!” She asks and zooms in on Charles while he scrolls through his phone. 

“Huh?” He asks when he feels everyone looking at him. You all stifle a laugh before looking back at Madelaine again. 

“Okay, let’s see what everyone is doing.” She smiles playfully and wiggles her eyebrows before flipping the camera and choosing who to annoy first. “KJ. What are you doing?” 

“Eating.” He replies through a mouthful of food before glaring at the red-head. 

“Vanessa?” 

“Ignoring you.” She replies, not bothering to look up from her phone. 

“You know, you all think that Vanessa is lovely, but this is what I have to put up with.” Madelaine frowns. “What about you Y/n?” She asks and you glance at her before sending your text. 

“She’s texting her boyfriend.” Jordan teases as he looks over your shoulder and you roll your eyes at his childishness. “Aww, they’re sending each other kisses. And now she’s opening Instagram and liking a picture of him-wait, that’s not his real hair is it?” He asks and you send him a look. 

“Of course not.” You laugh. “It’s his costume, for the Mötley Crüe movie.” 

“Ohh.” He replies. “Okay.” He starts again, faking a British accent and you roll your eyes again. “Now, she is liking the photo of her boyfriend and his cast members. She’s typing something and now she’s going into her notes and typing something else. It’s for me, and it says Jordan...fuck off.” He trails off and a playful pout replaces his smile. 

“Somebody please send help.” Madelaine deadpans as she flips the camera back. “I’m gonna have to put up with all of this for another week.” 

“Holy shit.” Madelaine mouths as she shoves the camera in her backpack. The rest of the cast are just as mesmerised with the stage set up in front of them. 

The stage is more light than actual stage and for a while you can’t really decipher between the lights and the many, many speakers they have. Four microphones are dotted around the black stage, just waiting for sound. The guitar amps wait to be plugged in and you remember watching Douglas walk in and out of your bedroom as he tried to master the way Nickki Sixx would walk on stage. Tommy Lee’s drum sits at the back of the stage and the pentagram really brings the whole dark aesthetic together. 

It genuinely looks like one of their shows. After Doug was offered the role, the two of you sat and watched countless videos of their shows together, just so he could really get into his role.

Normally you’d join them in staring wide-eyed at the bright set, but you’re too excited to see Doug that you can barely take in anything surrounding you other than him. Your eyes scan the countless people passing by. Crew members carrying large speakers and microphones back and forth, and hundreds of extra’s mill about around you, making you feel like you’ve just walked through a time machine. 

You feel eyes on you and it’s only when you look back at them do you realize you were bouncing slightly. 

“Be cool.” Jordan shakes his head and you flip him off making him feign offence. 

“Can I help you guys?” A woman asks and you quickly direct your attention to her. 

“Hi!” You beam. “Douglas Booth invited us to watch him. He said he got the okay from the director. I’m Y/n, his girlfriend. Nice to meet you!” You smile and stick your hand out in front of her. She blinks, trying to process what you’ve just said in the short space of time before a small smile twitches at her lips and she introduces herself. 

“I’m Amy.” She replies. “And I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you in person instead of being shown countless of pictures of you.” She teases and your cheeks heat up.

Cami and Lili share a look before nudging you and you stare at the floor, too embarrassed to look at them again. 

“Come with me.” She tells the rest of the group. “And help yourself to snacks and drinks.” She says and everyone’s head’s perk up at the mention of food. “We’re just about to film, they’re putting the final touches to everything, but if I see Doug I’ll let him know you’re here.” 

“Thank you!” You grin and sit down. Behind the camera’s are a bunch of seats, none of which match and it’s a race between the ten of you to get the comfiest seats first. It ends in KJ and Casey standing and they grumble quietly to each other while the rest of you smile sarcastically back at them. 

“Okay. Quiet on set!” Someone shouts and you stand up to crane your neck over the camera’s. For a second everything’s quiet, and then the lights go up and everyone screams. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, from Los Angeles, Mötley Crüe!”

Douglas looks out into the crowd and your sure he’s seen you, despite the room full of people. Then the lights come up and the spark machines go off leaving all you to stare in awe at what is happening. 

The sound of drums pound along with your heart while you watch your boyfriend transform into somebody else in front of your very eyes. He strums the guitar in time and hops backwards while looking out into the darkened crowd and you follow his gaze, wanting to see what he’s seeing. 

You watch as the camera zooms in on Douglas’ strumming and you nudge Cami excitledy as you point proudly at him. She stifles a laugh before the two of you continuing watching. 

“Title track is from our up and coming album. We call it ‘Shout At The Devil’” Danny shouts and the crowd goes wild. The camera zooms in on Iwan playing guitar.  

‘Shout, shout, shout!” They sing, the camera zooming into each of them, focusing longer on Colson as he twirls the drum sticks around in his fingers.  “Shout, shout, shout! Shout at the devil.” Danny kicks his leg out and does a spin before starting to sing again and you can’t believe what you’re seeing. 

They all look so cool! Especially Douglas and you can understand why bands back in the day had so many groupies if they did stuff like this on the stage. The atmosphere is electric and it’s not even a real concert, so you can only dream of what it would feel like to be at a real one.  “He's the wolf screaming lonely in the night. He's the blood stain on the stage.” Danny points out into the crowd and you hear a few screams and squeals making you laugh. “He's the tear in your eye. Been tempted by his lie.” Douglas rocks back and forth, and despite your earlier teasing through texts about the wig, it does look good when he’s up there head banging. “He's the knife in your back, he's rage!” Colson raises a hand in the air before banging the drums again. 

Danny leans forward, his voice going up an octave and you watch impressed. “He's the razor to the knife. Oh, lonely is our lives. My head's spinning 'round and 'round.” He points out into the crowd again and you catch Pete Davidson’s eye. 

Colson throws a drumstick in the air again before drumming, and you don’t know where to look anymore. There’s so many incredible things happening and you wish you could film this or take a picture or something so you can remember. It’s going to be amazing when you see it in the actual film, but to see it being recorded in real life, that’s something you don’t think any movie theatre will be able to live up to. 

“But in the seasons of wither, we'll stand and deliver. Be strong and laugh and-” 

“Shout, shout, shout. Shout at the devil! Shout, shout, shout!” Flames erupt from the stage during each beat and all ten of your eyes widen when you see someone flash the band. They head bang and jump around and your eyes widen each second that passes. 

But it’s over far sooner than you’d like it to be. You could spent forever watching your boyfriend pretend to be a famous rockstar, and you’re surprised at how at home he looks up on stage. 

The band shout and cheer, before the director shouts cut and they suddenly all erupt into laughter. Douglas and Iwan high five before they disappear off stage and previously still crew members start moving again. They hurry past you, with props, costumes and coffee in hand. 

And you wait excitedly for Douglas to appear. 

“So, we’re on the set of a super important Netflix movie. We’ve just watched them film literally the best thing ever. Like I have goosebumps, look. Anyway, I’m not gonna show you much, but I am going to show you this.” Madelaine whispers, a soft smile lighting up her face before she flips the camera and zooms in on you and Douglas. 

You wrap your arms around him and he picks you up, twirling you around making you squeal. He puts you back on the floor and wastes no time in capturing your lips in a kiss. You’ve been waiting months to kiss him again and it was definitely worth it, even if he is wearing that ridiculously large wig. 

“I’ve missed you so much baby.” You mumble against his lips. 

“Me too.” He replies and kisses you again. 

Madelaine flips the camera back to her and she pouts in response to how cute the two of you are. 

“She hasn’t shut up about him since he invited us out here.” She says and rolls her eyes. “It’s been the only thing we’ve heard. Hasn’t it V?” She asks the shorter girl as she walks behind her. 

“What?” Vanessa asks and takes a sip of the coffee Cole stole for her from the snack table. 

“Y/n and Doug.” It’s only three words, but it sets Vanessa off into a whole ramble about how excited you’ve been to see him. 

“It’s a good job they’re cute.” She replies making Vanessa giggle and the two of them watch as you and Doug catch up with each other. You move his wig from his face and he smiles thankfully, before kissing your cheek. “Something that isn’t cute though is these two.” Madelaine interrupts her own vlog by swapping the camera again and zooming in on Jordan and Drew taking pictures of each other with badly put on wigs. 

Her and Vanessa shake their head and watch as they laugh loudly and try to knock the other ones off their head. However their laughter soon dies down when a crew member comes over and scolds them for tampering with props, and now it’s Vanessa and Madelaine’s’s turn to laugh. 

“I can’t wait for the internet to see that.” Vanessa giggles before sending a disapproving look at the two men now pouting sadly in the corner. 

“Knowing them, it’ll just make more people love them.” Madelaine rolls her eyes. She turns the camera off and lets Vanessa lead her to where the majority of the cast are. 

“Hi guys.” Douglas introduces himself nervously and the conversations slowly die out. You stand beside Doug, your hand in his to keep him calm and a reassuring smile on your face. 

He’s never normally nervous when meeting new people, however he’s only ever met a few of these people a handful of times and he knows how important they are to you so he wants to make the best impression he possibly can. 

Although, you’re pretty sure he already has done with that they’ve just watched. You’re sure that could turn even the most cynical and hard to impress people, so you’re not worried. 

“Hi!” They all reply, each of them moving to shake his hand first. 

“Can I just say, that was great. I’ve never seen anything like it!” Drew gushes and Doug waves him off bashfully. 

“Seriously. Y/n is very lucky.” Jordan replies making you shove him lightly. 

“I’m definitely the lucky one.” Doug replies and kisses you gently. Your friends roll their eyes and gag in response, but you know they’re doing it out of love. 

“So, how are you all enjoying New Orleans?” He changes the subject.

“We haven’t really seen much of it. We got here yesterday and we spent the majority of it sleeping.” Casey explains making him frown. 

“Why don’t we go sightseeing.” He smiles. “Before you guys get kicked out.” He adds and looks at Jordan and Drew who smile back awkwardly. 

“You guys go ahead.” You interrupt. “We’ll catch up with you.” 

“Ooo.” KJ teases and you flip him off making him laugh loudly. “Get out.” You shove him and Lili grabs his arm pulling him towards the exit. The rest of the gang follow until it’s just you and Doug standing in an empty room. You’re only company is the very large snack table and various chairs dotted around the room. 

“I’ve missed you so fucking much.” You admit and wrap him into a tight hug. He wheezes at the force but hugs you back and warmth fills your chest. “You were also amazing up there. I mean, it was like I was at a proper concert!” You ramble proudly and he rolls his eyes. “You are so talented.” 

“Nah.” He shakes his head and you send him a glare. “It was all you, you’re my good luck charm.” 

---

March 18, 2019, ArcLight, Hollywood. 

The fabric of your dress, bunches and un-bunches in your clammy palm. The pale blue silk is soft against your skin and it’s quite a comforting feeling, it’s good to know that you can still feel something, even if the rest of you does feel numb. 

Camera’s flash outside the tinted windows of the black car, and you can hear hundreds of people shouting and screaming. The last time you were at a movie premiere, it didn’t feel anything like this, and it’s not even your movie. You wonder if you maybe need to do more than two acting jobs to get used to stuff like this, maybe you never get used to it. 

The more you think of it, the weirder it feels. All of those people lining the streets and wanting to take pictures of you. Riverdale premiers feel a whole lot less scary than movie ones. You thought it was because you always have your friends around you, or maybe because you’ve been to every single one of them since the show started, you kind of know what to expect as they’re all the same. 

But then you glance at Doug and you feel a whole new set of nerves creep up on you. He looks so good in his suit, and you watch his fingers tap anxiously against his knee as the two of you wait for the door to opened. 

Maybe you’re more nervous because it’s him. You have no reason to be though, the small part that you saw being filmed was amazing, and if the whole film is like that, then he’s got nothing to worry about. But you know he’s nervous and maybe that’s what’s making you feel the same. 

“Doug?” You place a gentle hand over his, stilling the movements of his fingers and he looks back at you, his expression softening as he takes you in. 

“You look beautiful.” He smiles and presses a kiss to the back of your hand. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” You reply and he rolls his eyes. “Are you okay?” You ask and the question seems to take him by surprise.

“Yeah-I. Why wouldn’t I be?” He stutters and you send him a look. He knows you can read him like a book, it’s something you seemed to have mastered by the first day you met him. 

“You just seem a little nervous.” You shrug and give his hand a squeeze. 

“I’m okay.” He shakes his head. “Maybe just a little bit. But nerves are good.” He finishes and you look at him unsure. “Why? Are you nervous?” 

“A little bit.” You admit and drop his gaze. His finger hooks under your chin and pulls it up again so you can look at him. His hazel eyes seem to see straight through you and the way he’s looking at you makes your heartbeat increase. For a few seconds, it just feels like the two of you sitting in the tiny cab. 

The rest of the world disappears, it’s just you and him, and that’s all you could ever really need.  

“Come on, you’ve done scarier things. Remember when you found out you had to do that British accent. I’m pretty sure you told me, you’d considered dropping out of the film.” He says and you nod your head. 

“I suppose, yeah.” You agree. “That was very nerve-racking. Especially when I had to do it in front of the cutest British boy I’d ever met.” You add and he rolls his eyes playfully. The two of you giggle quietly to yourselves

“We’re ready for you.” A tall man dressed all in black tells you once opening the door. You look at Doug and the two of you take a deep breath. 

“Are you ready?” You ask and he nods slowly. 

“As I’ll ever be.” He grins and you mirror it. The nerves turning to excitement when you think about how proud you are of him. “Wait!” He shouts and you freeze, dropping your purse in fright. “Sorry.” He apologises awkwardly and you roll your eyes at him. “I just wanted to get a picture with you before we’re both whisked off by our adorning fans. I want to show off how lucky I am, and I want Danny to see what he’s missing.”

“Where did you say he was again?” 

“He’s off filming some other film. But I think he did a video message or something, basically thanking everyone.” He replies. 

“Oh, that’s sweet.” You nod. “Anyway, adorning fans?” You repeat and he nods, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “You know this is a premier for a film that you’re in right? I’ve got nothing to do with this.” 

“One. We all know that the majority of the people here, are here for you because they just assume you’re coming with me.” 

“They assumed correctly.” You nod and cross your arms. You raise an eyebrow as you wait for him to continue with this point that you know is going to be stupid. 

“And two. You have everything to do with this.” He says and your roll your eyes, pushing him bashfully. “I’m being serious Y/n.” He says, making you look at him. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to say yes to all the offers I got, I wouldn’t have been able to recover from the many no’s. I wouldn’t have been able to learn my scripts and come to you for advice and support and just for a hug. This has everything to do with you, and the way you looked at me when you watched me film, gave me all the confidence I needed to keep going, even when the hours were long and I missed you like crazy.” 

“Douglas Booth, you’re going to make me cry and my makeup is perfect.” 

“And you look beautiful.” He replies and wipes a stray tear away. A curl falls in front of your face and he tucks it behind your ear, his fingers leaving a trail of heat along your jawline. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” You laugh and wipe away another tear. 

He gives you one last smile before grabbing your hand. You step out of the cab and into the bright flashing lights and the overwhelming sound of your names being shouted. He looks back at you, concern growing in his eyes but you grin back at him and he mirrors it. 

The two of you make your way up the red carpet, posing together and separately as people shout your name from all angles. The camera’s always disorient you, but as soon as you’re back beside Douglas and he wraps an arm around you waist, you feel yourself become more comfortable with the sheer amount of press. 

Douglas talks to a few of his co-stars and you take the few minutes of zero attention to really take in the moment. There’s so many people here, all of them to see your talented boyfriend and his friends and you feel like your heart is going to burst with pride. 

Your gaze catches Jordan, Drew and KJ, all three of which are staring wide eyed as the real Mötley Crüe walk the red carpet. You watch as they try their hardest not to implode and a chuckle escapes your lips when they finally realize that you’re watching them. 

“Holy shit!” Jordan mouths and you roll your eyes. Drew points awkwardly at them and KJ makes small talk with Tommy Lee before he stares at you in shock. 

“Be cool!” You mouth back and roll your eyes at your friends. The three of them just stare back at you in shock before they notice Vanessa and Madelaine having a full on conversation with all four members. 

It looks like they’ve just bumped into each at the grocery store with the way they’re talking to each other, and even you must look a little surprised. 

“I’ve seen you’re show!” Nikki says and your jaw drops. “It’s fucking weird.” He adds making the girls laugh. 

“Yeah.” Madelaine nods. “It sure is.” She adds before they walk away to get their pictures taken. Madelaine and Vanessa stare at each other, frozen for a few seconds before they grab each others arms and squeal. 

“Your friends sure are weird.” Vince says and it takes you a few seconds to realise he’s talking to you. 

“Oh yeah. There are.” You laugh awkwardly and the rest of the band greet you. You take a second to glance back at your friends who are all staring at you with varying degrees of shock on their face. 

“Are you ready to go in?” Doug pulls your attention away from the silent conversation you’re trying to have with Vanessa, and a soft smile graces your lips. 

“More than ready.” You nod excitedly. “I’m so proud of you baby.” You whisper in his ear and a blush creeps up his neck. 

“Not as proud as I am of you.” He replies and nudges your arm. The two of you take a deep breath before stepping through the door, ready for whatever adventure is waiting for you next. 

support my writing! if you want! 

#riverdale #riverdale imagine #lili reinhart #cole sprouse #camila mendes #kj apa #vanessa morgan #madelaine petsch #casey cott #jordan connor #drew ray tanner #charles melton

[smokeybrand]

Smokey band Movie Reviews: Wowza

The Suicide Squad is the best film DC has made since The Dark Knight. That’s it. That’s the review. If you want to know why i can say that with unassailable confidence, you can continue reading but from this point on, i am literally just going to gush about this f*cking thing like a straight up school girl.  It’s that good and you should go watch it right now. This is about to be a love letter to the best film I've seen all year, mostly because i haven’t seen any A24 flicks, but this thing is a fantastic consolation for that glaring disappointment.

The Inspired

The writing in this movie is easily the best the DCEU has to offer. I say that knowing there are some people who believe BvS is f*cking Shakespeare and MoS is Hemingway. They’re not. They’re both dogsh*t. The Suicide Squad absolutely is everything the neckbeard fanboys want those films to be. I marvel at how well the events blend, how organically the character interact, how real they feel in a movie with a giant kaiju space starfish as the driving conflict for the plot. It’s f*cking inspired and lays solid ground work for very exceptional aspect of this movie going forward. Your film starts on the page and James Gunn understands that sh*t very well.

The emotion in this movie is palpable. I literally teared up toward the end. That’s rare for me because I'm kind of an emotionless monster but that line, “I’m a superhero!” f*cking gut checked me. Gunn has done that to me three times. “WE are Groot.” "He may have been your father, boy. But he wasn't your daddy." It wasn’t Pete swinging in after the “On your left.” in Endgame but it was close. Dude is too good at that sh*t and it’s weird that Marvel is willing to let him go. They better lock that dude the f*ck up!

Chemistry is everything for an ensemble like this and this cast definitely has that. I bought their interactions without having to suspend my disbelief, not like in other, lesser SKWAD films. I particularly like the relationship between Ratcatcher II and Bloodsport. That sh*t was sweet and brought a legitimate smile to my face.

I mentioned how well this film was written but, aside from the brilliant plot that made all of these misfit killers relevant, the character work really goes a long way to selling this narrative. Like, you absolutely fall in love with Polka Dot Man by the end of this thing. They made Peacemaker an irredeemable bastard. Like, do you know how well you have to develop a character played by John f*cking Cena, for people to hate him? He’s the White people version of The Rock! That’s near impossible but they definitely pull it off. It’s like Gunn watched the first SKWAD, saw what they did with El Diablo and just decided to do that. And when i say “do that’, i mean actually write these f*cking characters as people instead of stereotypes and tropes.

The Great

This is an ensemble film, which means it lives and dies by it’s cast. Well, this motherf*cker is living mas! Not a single character was miscast in this. Not a one. From the supporting characters like Alice Braga’s Sol Soria and Peter Capaldi’s Thinker, to the expendable distraction SKWAD. Loved seeing Jai Courtney’s Captain Boomerang again and i even like Pete Davidson’s Blackguard. I can’t stand Pete Davidson. This cast is MCU levels of excellent but, of course, there are standouts.

Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flag does the best work of his career. This dude almost always sucks in the roles he takes on but I'm starting to think that’s because of the direction he’s given because dude kills it as Flag in this. I genuinely liked him this time around. He felt like a real person and not some caricature of whatever the generic US Marine is supposed to be.

Margot Robbie is the live action Harley Quinn. She embodies this character like Ledger did Joker and RDJ did Stark. It’s that good and this version of Harley is easily the best. She feels complete, like she’s finally the Harls in the comics and i love it. This Harleen is who the character should have been from the jump but a lot of that was on Margot. She had to grow into the character, develop her ability because the first time she donned that Puddin’ necklace was rough. She’s come a long way and so has Harley.

I touched on this before but John Cena’s Peacemaker is a f*cking bastard. This casting genius because of the message behind the movie. I’ll get into that later but casting the most All-America motherf*cker to play the villain in a film about US involvement in Sovereign Foreign nations? And for Cena to literally play up his Patriot shtick only to turn out to be an allegory for the sordid reality of America? Bro, this sh*t got over. Cena is outstanding as Peacemaker. This cat really does have the chops to be a movie star. Looking forward to this show they gave him, for sure.

Polka-Dot Man is arguably the best character in this entire film. I love what Gunn wrote for him and absolutely adore how David Dastmalchian gave the character life. He had the best arc in the entire film and i really enjoyed his journey. When he got his moment, i teared up a little bit. Dude deserved that. Dude earned that. For me to have such a visceral reaction to that scene is testament to how well  Dastmalchian did his job!

Listen, i love Idris Elba. I do. Cat has all of the swagger. He’s easily as charismatic as Obama and i dig that. However, he just plays Idris Elba. Like, his Bloodsport is literally just John Luther but, you know, murder prone. That’s not a bad thing, it definitely works, but, if I'm being honest, as a character, he’s the weakest of the lot but that’s how good everyone is in this. Idris f*cking Elba is the weakest character in this cast! What?? It’s not even like he’s bad or anything, he just plays the same dude over and over.

And now we get to my favorite character in this flick, Ratcatcher II. Listen, i have no idea who the f*ck Daniela Melchior is, but she is the absolute heart of this film, the moral compass of this team, and she never shirks away from that challenge. She has outstanding chemistry with Elba and the relationship between their two characters is the sweetest sh*t I've seen in a long time. It reminded me a lot of Logan and Laura. Melchior, if he chooses, can have a great career in Hollywood because she’s a real talent.

The Good

The plot to this thing makes sense. It’s not something as intricate as The Dark Knight but it’s head-and-shoulders better than anything the DCEU has produced and objectively sh*ts on the SKWAD that came before it. Destabilizing a small Latin American nation feels more like something Waller would have theses assholes do, rather than trying to kill a f*cking god with boomerangs and bullets. This movie is everything the first SWKAD attempt wants to be.

The violence and gore in this is ramped up to a eleven. There is a lot of grotesque sh*t in this thing and it starts the second Blackguard gets his face blown off. Like, his entire f*cking face. You see ALL of that sh*t and SO much more. Like, it gets grimy and i appreciated that. A SKWAD film needs that blood. This is a team of remorseless killers. We, as the audience, need to feel that and this flick delivers.

James Gunn can direct his ass off. When they announced he was going to be in charge of this film way back when, i knew it was going to be legit. When they announced t was a hard R, i needed it in my life. We’re talking Guardians with murder. Were talking the quintessential James Gunn vision and what a vision it is. Not only did he direct the f*ck out of this movie, but he wrote it, too! Mans has the only writing credit on this production. This is all him! It’s wild seeing the difference between directors on display. Gunn delivered a film that one could argue is the best of the year while Zack Snyder made f*cking Army of the Dead. The discrepancy between the quality of these two films is why i hate Snyder so much and have all of the love for Gunn.

The imagery in this thing is f*cking top tier. There are shot that are legitimate art It's a weird juxtaposition considering how bloody some of these scenes get but, f*ck, is it gorgeous!

I have to mention the editing. I usually don’t bother because it’s always adequate and, admittedly, it feels only slightly better in this film but it’s competent. It’s better than the first and you really feel that sh*t. Like, i watched the movie in preparation for this one and, oh my god, the difference in an actual team of professional film editors really cut a great film. Who’ have thought letting a f*cking trailer house construct your movie that it would end up feeling like a ton of trailers strung together and be bad?

This movie is overtly political. It has a lot to say about the influence of the US abroad. It doesn’t shy away from the realities of our international policy and really hammers home the reality of what the United States is, rather than the way we portray ourselves to be. This culminates in a struggle between Flag and Peacemaker; Both soldiers to the core but on opposite ends of the American ideal. It’s actually really brilliant and, if you aren’t paying attention, will go over your head. This is how you instill your politics into a film. This is how you execute ideals in a narrative. Gunn has a lot to say and he says it in the loudest way, but with the quietest voice.

The Okay

The only beef i can see people having with this is the exposition dumps. There are a few but they kind of stall the overall flow. I didn’t mind them too much because, by the time we get to them, the film has built up so much good will by being just fantastic.

The Verdict

I f*cking loved this movie, dude. Look how long this list of dope sh*t is. I literally itemized all of the reasons why this flick is so great. I can’t articulate it and more clear. I told you at the very beginning, literally the first thing i wrote, that The Suicide Squad is the best film in the DCEU and i mean that sh*t. Grace Randolph is a f*cking hack. Don’t listen to her incredibly bias opinion. Just f*cking go watch it and decide for yourself! It’s in theaters right now and on HBO max for free.

[storiesforallfandoms]

unconventional ~ pete davidson & rook

word count: 1788

request?: yes!

“I can’t remember if I requested this already or not but can you do a fluffy throuple between Reader Pete Davidson and Rook”

description: she never thought she’d ever end up in a poly relationship, until her best friend introduced her to the two guys of her dreams

pairing: pete davidson x female!reader x rook

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

As corny as it is to say, I never expected to have a boyfriend, let alone to end up with two.

I was never the most popular with guys. I grew up with a group of guy friends and was often viewed by the opposite sex as “just one of the boys”. I was even told once in high school by a guy I had a crush on that he thought I was a lesbian because of it.

I tried not to let it get to me, but when you watch all the girls around you getting asked out on dates, or you see your guy friends starting to get girlfriends (or at least hook ups), it’s hard not to think something is wrong with you because no one is showing interest in you.

Colson always made jokes when he started getting famous that he was going to find me a guy using his fame. He started taking me on tour with the rest of our friend group (again, all guys) and trying to get me laid at after parties. Of course, I never turned down a casual hook up here and there, but one night stands don’t usually lead to relationships.

Enter two of Colson’s best friends: Rook and Pete.

I knew Rook for a long time due to Colson. I had never viewed him as anything more than another guy friend until the two of us got very drunk and hooked up one night. At the time, we had both decided that it was a one time thing and it would never happen again, but...come on, how many times have you heard that story before?

I was conflicted over my feelings for Rook when Colson introduced me to Pete as well. I knew immediately there was a connection between the two of us, something more than just acquaintances or even friends. But at the same time, I was still debating my feelings for Rook.

I felt so confused over everything, and it was obvious that I was constantly in my head because Rook pulled me aside backstage one night to make sure I was okay. I wanted to tell him that everything was fine, but I was so confused and overthinking everything that I accidentally blurted everything out before I could stop myself.

For some reason, I expected Rook to be angry. I expected him to tell me off for having feelings for both him and Pete, or for him to be weirded out by the fact that I had feelings for him at all. He had never showed signs of liking me back after all, there wasn’t any reason for me to truly believe that he liked me the way I liked him.

I was shocked when his response was, “Well...have you considered you may be polyamorous?”

And that’s how I found myself in a relationship with the two guys that I loved more than anything in the world, and guys that loved me back as well. We were an unconventional couple, and both Rook and Pete’s fans were very confused about the aspects of the relationship when we first announced it, but we were happy and that’s all that mattered.

On a beautiful, sunny day in Los Angeles, Pete and I decided to go soak up the sun while Rook was out touring with Colson. We went to a local park and set up our spot far enough away from people that we knew we wouldn’t be spotted by fans. I was laid back on a blanket with sunglasses covering my eyes as the hot sun beamed down on my bikini clad body. Pete was sat up next to me with his back against a tree we were sat next to, reading over a script for his upcoming movie role.

My phone chimed between us. Pete’s eyes flickered towards it for a moment before he declared, “You have a text.”

“Thanks Captain Obvious,” I teased as I reached for it. I tried to shade my eyes so I could continue to lay down, but the glare from the sun made it impossible to see the screen, so I sighed as I had to sit up. “It’s from Rook.”

The text read, “Hey my beauty. Sorry for such a late text, I only just woke up. How are you today baby?”

“What’s he saying?” Pete asked.

“Just asking how I am. He says he slept in. I’m assuming him and the guys were up until like 7am this morning.”

Pete paused to look down at his own phone. “He didn’t message the group chat.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “No, he just texted me.”

Pete feigned an angry face. “That’s rude of him. Doesn’t he care how I’m doing today?”

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him before turning my attention back to responding to Rook.

“Hello my love. I’m good! Pete and I are out soaking up the sun. He says he’s offended you didn’t message the group chat to ask how he was too 🤣”

A few moments later, my phone chimed again.

“Tell him I said fuck you 🤣”

I giggled and laid myself back down to continue my sunbathing.

Despite some bickering between the two of them, Pete and Rook were actually very good friends and respected one another a lot. While Rook had suggested the poly relationship, I wasn’t sure how Pete was going to react to the idea of dating someone who was also dating another guy. Surprisingly, he was really into the idea and didn’t mind that Rook would be on the other end of the relationship at all.

It also surprised people that both Rook and Pete were so into the relationship and weren’t just constantly fighting for me. I understand that some people don’t understand poly relationships - I didn’t either until I entered one - but some of the shit people said to us was very rude. It was like they expected us to be super toxic to one another despite all of us being in a consensual and loving relationship.

It wasn’t long until my phone chimed again. I almost groaned in frustration at having to sit up again. Pete laughed at me. “Maybe you should put it on silent.”

“That would require me to have brain cells, Peter,” I teased.

It was another text from Rook, but this time this one confused me.

“I hope you’re taking good care of our girl while I’m gone. I miss her so much.”

I tilted my head in confusion, trying to make sense of the text that had been sent to me. It took me way to long to realize the text was probably meant to be sent to Pete and not to me, and I couldn’t stop the laugh that burst from my mouth. Pete looked over at me in amusement as I clapped a hand over my mouth.

“Must’ve been a funny text,” he said.

“Actually, it was a text meant for you.”

I held my phone out for Pete to see, and he laughed at the error as well. “Man, how did he fuck that one up so bad?”

“Probably has the same name for both of us in his phone. ‘Beauty’, mine with a black heart and yours with the two pink hearts.”

“Why do I have the two pink hearts?”

“Cause he loves you more than he loves me.”

Pete laughed and shook his head at me. “Just let him know he sent the text to the wrong person. The poor guy.”

I turned back to my phone to respond to Rook until something hit me. “Wait, do you and Rook text about me often?”

Pete nodded. “Yeah. You didn’t know that?”

“Of course I didn’t! Neither one of you told me that.”

“I figured you just assumed we did.”

I shook my head. “Not really. I didn’t know there was a reason for you both to talk about me outside of the group chat. I figured when it was just the two of you you just talked like the boys.”

Pete chuckled and extended his arms to me. I smiled and leaned back in them, resting my body against his chest.

“We can’t help but get on the topic of you whenever we talk,” he told me. “We both love you so much, and we worry about you. We don’t mean to talk about you a lot, but if one of us is with you while the other is away we tend to start asking about how you are and talk about taking care of you and stuff, like Rook said when he texted you then thinking it was me.”

“Does that happen often?”

“Probably too often,” Pete responded. “Most of our conversations are about you, actually. We’re like two school boys talking about a girl we have a crush on.”

I giggled at the thought and rested my head against Pete.

For some reason, knowing that Pete and Rook often talked about me by themselves made me feel fuzzy inside. It was sweet that they both cared so much, and I was beyond grateful that they were so okay with this relationship we were in that they talked civilly in private.

I looked down at my phone again, the words on the screen staring up at me for a while. I decided that instead of responding through text, I pressed the call button and held the phone up to my ear. It rang for a short period of time before Rook’s voice filled my ears.

“Hey beauty.”

“Hi baby,” I responded. “Just wanted to know who you were telling to take care of your girl.”

Pete tried to stifle his laugh as I was met with silence on the other end. After a moment, Rook finally said, “Oh shit! I sent that to the wrong person, didn’t I?”

“You did,” I confirmed. “You sent it to me instead.”

“Well fuck.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Sorry, baby.”

“Don’t apologize. I think it’s sweet that you and Pete care so much about me.”

“Of course we care about you! You’re our girl. We both love you so much.”

I tried to hold back the tears of joy that were welling up in my eyes. I was glad I had my sunglasses on still to cover my eyes.

“I love you, too,” I told him, then angled my head to face Pete. “And I love you, too.”

Pete smiled at me and kissed me. Through the phone, Rook called, “Tell him to give you a kiss from me too! I’ll be home soo, baby.”

When I hung up from our call, Pete happily obliged Rook’s request.

#rook #rook imagine #rook x reader #jp cappelletty #jp cappelletty imagine #jp cappelletty x reader #pete davidson #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson x reader #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[emgkheadcannons]

Hurt kells headcanons?

Hurt Kells Head Cannons

I don’t know if you mean physically, emotionally, or mentally, so let's see where this goes. Well it turned out really long and is more a fanfiction I’m sorry. So the story under the cut, WARNING, part of it is really sad, and brief mentions of suicidal thoughts. It’s a happy ending though. Okay enjoy.

Well it turned out really long and is more a fan fiction I’m sorry. 

Kelly is always hurting himself and Em is right behind him making sure he is okay. Kelly loves the attention and pampering, and Eminem is pretty sure Kelly is making him go gray.

Kelly is hazard prone. He has broken his arm running over parked cars, while drinking, cut his chest with a broken Jameson bottle, leaving scars, and has been hit by a double decker bus when he was in London. Kelly does a lot of reckless things all the time, he just gets back up, dust himself off, and continues on, even when he shouldn’t.

Kelly does not like not being able to do something, or having to slow down or worse having to have others slow down for you because he is hurt, but most of all he hates the useless feeling he gets from being injured. Sitting around, getting nothing done, depending on someone else for things. 

It’s not so bad when he is with Em. He doesn’t feel like a burden, or that Em is only being nice to him because he has to. He is Eminem, Rap God, Slim Shady, if he doesn’t want to do something he doesn’t have to. So Em choosing to help him, check on him constantly, and genuinely want to be with him, makes Kelly feel 

Eminem actually likes taking care of Kelly. He wishes he could dote on him all the time, not just when Kelly is hurting. Em is various about injuries and illnesses. He doesn’t mess around, and while he loves being able to dote on Kelly, he won’t let him get away with some of his usual antics. 

When Kelly gets hurt for doing something stupid like flipping over the back of the couch, or jumping off the roof of a car, you can bet Em Lectures the Hell out of him, after making sure he’s okay. Then he cuddles the hell out of his stupid boyfriend. 

It is one thing if Kelly gets hurt doing something stupid, it’s another if someone hurts Kelly. Em is very protective of his people, and Kelly is one. When a shitty reporter goes too far, making Kelly self conscious, Em hits back hard, black listing them from a ton of events, and getting other artists to refuse interviews with them. 

Kelly’s interview on Hot Ones made EM so mad. Watching his idiot boyfriend eat those hot wings, when they both know they are mild taco bell guys, is frustrating. Kelly is hurting himself, Em can’t stop him, and when he gets home his stomach will probably be upset. At least Em will get a night in with Kelly, even if it’s him watching a movie with Kelly, rubbing his back, while the blond chugs Pepto Bismol. 

Mentally

Kelly struggles with depression and anxiety. He is doing better now, but there is only one way to go when you hit rock bottom, and Kelly hit it back in 2018.

Kelly was mentally hurt at the end of 2018, after EM’s diss track came out, and it seemed like the world hated him. He could barely go outside without someone telling him how Em wiped the floor with him. He had people following him, threatening him, some even attacked him. He was worried about not only being booked, but also being able to perform, with how hostile people were being. Kelly was worried about Cassie being with him. What if someone decided to go after him, and she got caught up in it? He couldn’t live with himself if something happened to her, especially if it happened because of him

Kelly kept busy shooting movies, writing music, and whatever he could think of, to keep his mind from spiraling. Thinking those dark thoughts. ‘Would Cassie be better off without me? Would everyone be better off without me? What if I don’t get another gig, or role? How will I support her? …...Would anybody miss me?’

Kelly fell into depression, and his anxiety got out of control. Getting out of bed became a chore, and the crushing fear of failing everyone, made him wonder why he should even try if he was probably going to fail. He was able to get himself going most days, but the constant anxiety was draining, and he turned to alcohol, and drugs harder the weed to numb the feeling, which worked for a while. The problem is he had to use a little more every time to numb the pain. 

Becoming good friends with Pete Davidson and Dominic ‘Yungblud’ helped Kelly out a lot. He drank less, it was easier to get out of bed, and the crushing anxiety of living quieted down but they didn’t go away. It wasn't until Eminem found him during a panic attack, at a festival they were both performing at that things began to change. 

Eminem was wandering around the performers area one evening, close to some of the tour buses, when he heard something. He had nothing going on and wanted to find out what was making that noise. As Em got closer to the source of the sound, he saw a figure hunched over on themselves. He realized that it was a person, and it looked like they were having trouble breathing. Eminem rushed over to see if he could help. Kneeling down next to the person, Em sees that it is Machine Gun Kelly, and it looks like the kid is either having a panic attack, or a really bad trip. 

Taking a deep breath, Em wrapped an arm around the other rapper's shoulders, trying to steady him, before he started talking  “Hey, can you hear me? I need you to listen. It will all be okay. I need you to calm down. Take a deep breath.In, and out, in, and out.” The kid was responding but not as much as he would have liked. Making a decision, Em sat down in the grass, and pulled Kelly into his lap. It was a little awkward, but he made it work. “Alright Colson listen to me. I want you to match my breathing. Ready, in, and out. In, and out.” Em was finally getting the response he wanted, the guys breathing was slowing down, and becoming less erratic. “Okay, that's it. Just breath. It’s okay.” He didn’t smell any alcohol on his breath, so at least he wasn’t drunk, but he could still be high.

Eminem looked around and noticed that his tour bus was only two buses down. He couldn’t leave the kid here, and his band mates would most likely make it worse, so the last option was to take Machine Gun Kelly to his bus. He hated being so responsible. He didn’t even like the kid, but helping him was the right thing to do.

Eminem stood up, dragging Kelly up with him. He got under Kelly’s arm to help support him, but their height difference made it hard. Em gave up about three steps in, and just picked the guy up, carrying him the rest of the way. The older rapper noticed that Kelly was light, probably too light for someone his size. Em began to worry about what was going on with him. 

Once safely inside his bus, Eminem placed Kelly on his couch. He pulled out his phone and called Paul. He needed more information before he goes any further. 

He got his answers.

Apparently he has been receiving death threats lately, and someone broke into his tour bus tonight. The kid hadn’t gone out partying in a while, and seemed to be out of the public eye as much as possible. 

Em turned to look at the younger rapper, and really looked at him. Kelly’s eyes had dark circles around them, like he hadn’t been sleeping, and his skin looked pale and ashen. His face was gaunt, like he wasn’t eating well. His nails were chewed short and were unpainted. Looking at his outfit wasn’t his usual put together, fashionable self. He looked like shit. 

Marshall could tell that Colson was broken, he just didn’t know that he had a hand in breaking him.

Kelly wasn’t bad at ignoring what other people say, he just wasn’t the best at it, and if you paired that with how his life had been going for the past few months, it was pretty damn hard to ignore everything. The fact that Eminem, his rival, his idol, the man he liked, the man who destroyed him, found him during a panic attack, made him feel even worse. Crying in front of the man was just icing on the cake, of the shit show he called life. He had hit rock bottom and he knew it. Eminem knew it, and soon everybody else would. 

The shocking thing was that Eminem didn’t go after him. He didn’t insult Kelly, didn’t use his panic attack against him. He didn’t throw Kelly out once he had calmed down. Instead the guy let him stay the night. He even offered to help Kelly. 

Kelly was wondering if he was hallucinating. After all that has happened, after everything he has done why would Eminem offer him help. He didn’t know whether to trust the older rapper or not, but he has already lost so much, what else does he have to lose?

Emotionally

Trusting Eminem was the right thing for Kelly to do. They publicly squashed their beef, and that really helped with people coming after him, and the death threats have slowed down a lot. It didn’t end there though. Em convinced him to see someone about his depression and anxiety, which now that he knows that he has, he has a better handle on them. He has given up all his drugs, except weed. This is the cleanest he has been in years. He now drinks occasionally, and when he wants, rather than feeling like he had to drink or high to function. 

Another benefit of trusting Eminem is that Kelly and Eminem were becoming friends. Em saw that Kelly was going down the same path he was years ago until Uncle Elton intervened, and now he was doing the same for Kelly.

Everything was going pretty well until Eminem realized that unlike him and Elton, he had feelings for Kelly, and that was a problem. How could he help him if he wants to date him. Only a few people know that Em is bi with a preference for men. He couldn’t tell Kelly. So Em does the dumb thing and starts to pull away. 

Kelly was starting to feel like he was getting his life back together, and was doing well. But with all things in Kelly’s life something has to go wrong. 

It starts with him and Em not hanging out as much, but Kelly just tells himself it’s because he is probably just busy. Then Em starts canceling plans on him. Their text conversations get shorter and shorter. The final piece is when Kelly finally gets to visit him, after months of trying, Em basically ignores him, won’t look at him, and practically dismisses him.

Kelly can’t take this rejection, not after everything that has happened. He makes it halfway down the hallway when his legs give out, and he starts to cry quietly. He is going over everything in his head trying to figure out what he did wrong. 

He doesn’t know how long he is there on the floor, crying, when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Why are you on the floor? Why are you crying” Em asks, wiping away a tear.

“I'm sorry.”

“Why are you sorry.”

“I...I don’t know.” Kelly sobs while tears run down his face. “I’m so sorry. I don’t … don’t know what I did to make you so mad at me. Please..hic...please don’t hate me”

Eminem is shocked. Why did Kelly think he was mad at him let alone hate him. Em was so confused.

“I’m sorry.” Kelly kept on repeating between sobs. 

Em did the only thing he could think of. He scopes Kelly up in his arms and takes him to his bedroom, placing Kelly on his bed, and wraps him up in his comforter. Kelly continues to apologize and sobs the whole time this is happening. When he finally quiets down, Em is holding him, like he did when Kelly had his panic attack months ago. 

“What did I do wrong?” Kelly rasps, voice hoarse from crying. 

“I don’t know what you are talking about, but you haven’t done anything wrong, and I’m not mad at you.” Em replies.

“Then why don’t you like me anymore. You helped me get my life back together, and we were like friends, but then you started avoiding me, canceling on me, and today you ignored me and then dismissed me, like I was nothing. I don’t understand. I thought we were friends.” 

“We are friends, Kelly I promise. You have done nothing wrong. I did something wrong.”

Kelly was so confused. The look he was giving Eminem was adorable and pitiful; it makes Em’s feel terrible for how he treated Kells. Looking back he can see why Kelly thinks he hates him. With a heavy sigh, Em makes himself more comfortable before telling Kelly the truth. 

“Not a lot of people know this but I am bisexual, and the reason I was avoiding you was because I have feelings for you. You don’t need me around wanting you when you are trying to make yourself better. I thought it would be better if I removed myself, but I clearly didn’t think how it would look to you. I’m sorry.” 

Kelly buries his face in the junction of Em’s neck. He can feel the tears, from the other man, falling onto his collar bone. Kelly mumbles something that Em can’t make out. 

“I’m sorry Kelly I couldn’t understand what you said.”

“Do you still like me?” Kelly asks a little louder.

EM takes a deep breath, and breaths out before replying. 

“Yes, Kell-”

“Colson. My real name is colson.”

“Yes Colson, I still like you.”

“You really hurt me, Em-”

“Marshall. If I get to call you Colson, you can call me Marshal.”

“You really hurt me Marshal. I thought I had done something to make you hate me. I thought I was going to go back to how I was. Drinking and being high to just get through the day.”

“I’m so sorry Colson. I promise I won’t ever do that again.”

“That’s good, because I like you too.”

After clearing everything up between them, and working on their communication, Em and Kelly start dating. 

(Using there real names are for serious, and super important moments)

Physically

A few months into their relationship, things are going well for them, and the people important to them know they are dating. Most took it well, and the few that didn’t (Rook), didn’t like it because they don’t like one of them (Rook still hates Eminem). Most people have stopped bothering Kelly for the beef, and the death threats have basically stopped.

Kelly had just finished his final concert in Detroit, and a whole week off to visit with his boyfriend, before he had to be somewhere. All they had to do was pack up the equipment, and make sure everyone was good then Kelly could head out.

About thirty minutes past midnight Kelly is heading to his car, when he gets jumped. Three guys come out of the shadows and corner him. Before he could say anything, never mind hand over his wallet, he gets punched in the gut. They continue to wail on Kelly, punching and kicking him, as he struggles to get away. Once beaten to a bloody mess, the men stop. He hears one of them say “that’s what a bitch like you gets for coming to Eminem’s town.” He always knew Detroit was dangerous, but he never thought he would be beaten up for his beef with Em after they ended it, especially after they started dating. He laid there for a moment trying to get up. His whole body hurt. He was bleeding from a few different cuts, his head really hurts, and his vision is blurry. He doesn’t know the extent of his injuries, but he hopes that he won’t need a cast. 

When he finally gets into a sitting position, he sees his phone a few feet away, and miraculously it only has a few cracks on the screen from him dropping it. He calls Em, to come and get him.

Em rushes to Kelly. He brings his security too, to make sure no one else jumps Kelly. EM drives them to the hospital to have him checked out; his boy doesn’t look good.

Kelly is worse for the ware but he will be okay; it could have been much worse. He is covered in cuts, and bruises. He needs 4 stitches for a gash on his back, and gets his nose reset. Beside those injuries Kelly ends up with cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder, two broken fingers, a badly sprained ankle, and the doctor confirms he has a concussion. The antiseptic hurt like a bitch, but it’s when they pop his shoulder back in place that he starts to tear up. The doctors agree to release Kelly into Em’s care, with strict orders on what the blond could and couldn’t do, and a few different prescriptions.

Eminem is beyond furious. Some dipshits thought they could jump his boy, beat the shit out of him, and get away with it. Fuck no. He will deal with them later. He wants blood but Kelly needs him right now. He sends two of his guys though to find out what they can.

It’s after four am when they get home. Em carries him up the stairs and tucks him into bed, careful of his injuries. He pulls the curtains tight, and makes sure the room only has a soft, dim light. He reviews the doctor's notes on how to take care of his boyfriend, and puts Kelly’s meds on the bedside table. Em checks the mini fridge in his room is stocked up on water and Gatorade. Once he feels good that he has done everything he could for now, he sets an alarm to wake Kelly up in an hour, and joins him on the bed. 

Kelly wants to sleep most of the morning, but his boyfriend keeps waking him up.

“I know you want to sleep sweetheart but you have a concussion. You can go back to sleep in a minute okay. Come on pet.” This goes on until nearly three. Kelly is still tired, but he hurts all over, and his head is killing him. 

Em is sitting on his bed, his back against his headboard, with his legs stretched out in front of him. Kelly’s head is pillowed in his lap, and he is carding his fingers gently through the blond hair. A notebook on his other side, so he can write some lyrics. 

“Hey Em, I’m kinda hungry.” 

“Does anything sound good to you?”

“Not really, sorry”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I’ll figure something out. Will you be okay by yourself?”

“Yeah you don’t have to worry about me.”

Em untangled himself from Kelly and headed to the kitchen. He had thought ahead and ordered some chicken soup, and already had the good bread from the bakery Kelly likes, for his visit. He passes on the sweet treats he had ordered with the bread. Kelly’s stomach is probably not up to it, but he does snag a banana before heading back up.

Kelly is right where he left him. If it wasn’t for all of the bandages he would have thought his boyfriend had dozed off.  Kelly should be up, chatting his ear off, doing something ridiculous, and generally just moving about. It broke his heart to see him like this. 

For the next few hours Em resumes gently, petting Kelly’s hair, and softly talks to him, about anything he could think of. Kelly isn’t really listening, but Em didn’t expect him to. Kelly does fall back asleep later, and the older rapper gets to work. 

He takes his phone out, pulling up Paul’s contact, and seeing if he has any news, on the guys who attacked Kelly. He’s not really expecting much, but is hoping for something good. Paul messages him that there is some grainy security footage and the police have a few leads. It was better than Em expected, but not as good as he was hoping for. He then checks in with the two men he sent out this morning. Their news is a little better. They think they have the name of one of the men. 

Em would love nothing more than to beat the shit out of these pieces of shit, but he keeps himself in check. He has to be smart about this, beating the shit out of them would only make him feel better, not Kelly, and if he throws a punch, they could sue him, and it could make things messy for Kelly and him. People would want to know why he would go to such lengths for the blonde. 

He gets up, making sure Kelly will be okay for a bit before heading to his office to make some calls. 

Kelly wakes up, and is confused. His head really hurt, and his body felt like a giant bruise. It all came back, the concert, the attack, the hospital, and Em. He reaches an arm out, trying to feel where his boyfriend was. When he couldn’t feel anyone, he opened his eyes, which wasn’t great. Even the very dim light hurt his eyes, making his headache even worse, and his vision was still blurry. He shut his eyes quickly, trying to make the pain stop. Where was Em? Kelly didn’t know what to do. Em had left him by himself, and he was hurting so bad. 

‘Was Em upset with him? For being such a burden? For being so weak that he couldn’t defend himself? Does Em even want to be with someone so useless?’ Kelly knew that these thoughts weren’t true but his head hurt and he couldn’t concentrate. He had to do something though. Anything but lay there, with his thoughts sprilling. 

Kelly gingerly pushes himself up into a sitting position, careful of his shoulder and ribs. It wasn’t great but it was better. He then scoots to the side of the bed and tries to stand up. It takes a few tries, but he does manage to stand up, leaning heavily on the bed side table. He takes a few steps toward the bedroom door, before his knees give out, and he crumples to the floor. Tears begin to well up in his eyes from the physical pain, and from the feeling of complete failure. Not only was he in more pain now, he couldn’t even make it to the damn door. His thoughts came back, even worse. Kelly’s breaths began to grow quickery, and shallower the longer he lay on the floor, panicking over what Em seeing him, and realizing how useless he was.

Em had finished up his phone calls, and was heading back to Kelly, when he heard a weird sound. He knows that sound, but couldn’t remember where he heard it before, then it hits him. It’s almost the same sound he heard Kelly making, the night he found Kelly, having a panic attack.

“Shit” Em says, as he rushes to the door of his room, opening it quickly, to see Kelly, curled up on the floor, tears running down his face, and breathing very fast and shallow. Not wasting a moment, Em kneels down, gently scooping Kelly up into his arms, before heading to the bed. He sits down holding the injured man close, making sure not to aggravate any of his injuries more than they already had been, and gently starts rubbing circles on his back.

“Shh it’s okay, Colson. You are okay. I’m here. I promise I won’t leave again.” Em says, trying to calm the younger man down. 

Kelly falls asleep like that, in Eminem’s arms. His boyfriend doesn’t know why Kelly tried getting up, or what triggered his panic attack, but he’s going to ask him when he wakes up.

Kelly ends up spending the next two weeks with Em in Detroit, being doted on. Em hardly left his side, after the incident. The first few days were ruff. Em was waking him up every few hours because of his concussion; he was sore and didn’t want to move. His medicine was hard to keep down. Also his concussion made him dizzy, and nauseous; his vision would sometimes get blurry, and his head almost always hurt. Em was with him, helping him do everything, which made Kelly feel like dead weight, and doubt his self worth, but Em saw the signs. Em was there when the younger man was at his lowest, he knew the signs of Kelly’s depression and anxiety, and was always watching for them. He made sure that Kelly knew that he was not a burden, that there was no way he blamed the blond for the attack, that he still wanted him around, that he wasn’t useless, and that he still loved Kelly. 

Em would change his bandages, treat his wounds, help him around the house, and just take care of him. Whenever Kelly was hungry, Em brought him food he could handle, and he enjoyed, like the garlic tomato soup, and skyline chili. They also discovered that Em likes hand feeding Kelly, as much as Kelly likes being fed. Em always wants Kelly to eat more, and if hand feeding the blond then it is a win, win in his eyes.

When Kelly would say that he was sore the older rapper would run him a bath. The warm water felt good to his achy body. Em wouldn’t put any of his bath stuff in the water, worried it might aggravate something, but he did join Kelly a few times. 

Em kept him away from electronic screens as much as possible, but by the end of the two weeks, Kelly really wanted his phone back. He knew looking at his phone, and watching tv was bad for his concussion but he wanted to mindlessly scroll through instagram, see the new drama on twitter, and catch up with everything going on. 

The best part was when Em would sit with him most of the day. Sometimes he would literally sit with Kelly, sometimes with Kelly in his lap, and work on verses, other times he would cuddle Kelly, telling him about what's going on with friends, and people in general. Em holding him, petting his hair, checking on him, and even simply being near to make sure he was doing okay, made Kelly feel better. These actions made Kelly feel cherished, pampered, and loved, and for once didn’t feel terrible about being taken care of. He was learning the difference between being a burden, and being taken care of, and he liked it.

Em loved that Kelly was seeing the difference between wanting to doting on him, and being forced to take care of him. Hopefully Kelly continues to let Em take care of him, even when he’s not hurt. Slow days at home together, being domestic are his favorite. 

Note: EM’s feeding thing is a mix between his own body image issues, wanting Kelly to be healthy, and him actually enjoying feeding Kelly.

#emgk #hurt au #send me asks

[shawn-mendes-post]

Secret Relationship

A/N: Hi, I do not own anything. I just had this idea. Sorry if you don't like certain celebrities that I said. I tried to have a range so there at least would be one celeb. Also a oneshot.

Y/N being a famous actress and singer was currently getting ready for an interview with James Corden. She is hoping it would just be an interview, but with James you can never be 100% sure. She put on a sexy sequin lace mesh embroidery backless dress that left very little to imagine.

She sits in the pink room, roaming Instagram, hearting different post. She smiles as she sees a picture of her boyfriend, Shawn. They were currently dating for a year and no one had any idea. It was for the best because they didn't want to deal with media taking things out of proportion.

Y/N being an American Horror Story and being a romantic interest to Evan Peters would not be good for the relationship. She did wished they could be open about their relationship and didn't have to see fans shipping him with Camila Cabello.

Sighing, she hears her name being called. She stood in high heels, wobbling from standing so quickly, makes her way to the stage. She waves and high fives the audience members that were close. She could already picture the surprise on her boyfriend's face since he was helping James out for the week.

" Hello! I can't believe you are actually here. " James said, giving her a hug. " Well, I couldn't deny your invitation. I love your show so I immediately said yes," she replied, glancing at Shawn's shocked face. They both move to sit down, ( Y/N) smoothing out her dress.

" It's amazing that you moved to America from London when you were 16. How do you feel?"

" Homesick at times since most of my family is in London. I'm also grateful for this opportunity to work here and meet some wonderful people. I do go back to London when I'm touring. So it's been a roller coaster from being a simple girl and now going on tours or shooting in movies. It's been fun and I can't wait to see what happens in the future ."

The audience cheers as James looks at the cue cards. " Yes, I understand. We know that you have many and I mean many celebrity crushes," James said, laughing lightly as he watches her blush. " Who is your top 5?"

" Oh, that is hard. I love all of my crushes," she said, glancing at Shawn, wondering if she could say them. She knew he would get jealous at times when she rambled about one of the celebrities.

Shawn nod his head slightly, knowing he can't stop her from answering James. He didn't understand why he didn't know she was going to be on the show. 'She never said anything.'

" Harry Styles would be one because he is simply amazing. I never really listened to one direction, but when he went solo, I was falling. I actually have his album and would listen to it nonstop." Her cheeks flush as she bites her lower lip. Chuckles could be heard in the audience as they knew how that must have felt. " Emma Watson because why not? She is amazing and a role model to other little girls. I grew up with her and always wanted to meet her. "

" Ah, you a Harry Potter fan? You know Shawn is?" James asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Y/N laughs and nods her head as she admits she is a big Harry Potter fan. Shawn could feel his cheeks heat up at the mention of being a fan of Harry Potter. The two of them would always have a marathon with the movie when they both weren't so busy.

" Bill Skarsgård because he is hot. Like I love Cumberbatch, but Skarsgård has more sharp define cheeks. He has a jawline for days," she said, seductively, eyes flutter as she says the line from AHS. Cheers could be heard from the audience when they hear the familiar line. James was laughing at how she said it so wonderfully. " Wow. Amazing. "

Shawn shift as he felt a little jealous that she hasn't mentioned him. He knew that she was trying not to let anything slip about the two, but it still hurtled him listening to her talk about other guys.

" The last two? You are almost done. Then we could move on to the game we are about to play. "

" I would say Tom Holland,but I have a family member who loves him. So for respect to them I won't say him. Let me think. " She ponders, thinking about the last two people she would say. " I feel like if I say any one of my Costars it would be cheating. I do love Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Jessica Lange, etc, but I would not count that. "

Her eyes lit up as she knew one person she didn't say. " I can't believe I didn't say his name. Nick Robinson because of Love, Simon. I would watch that movie all the time and always cry for about a good hour or 2 after the movie was done. My boyfriend always asked me why I put myself through the pain. I just love the moive and I love the message behind it," she sniffled, not really thinking about what she just said.

It was silent as Y/N tries to contain her sniffles. She looks at James as he stares at her in shock. Tilting her head, she didn't know what she said wrong. Turning to look at Shawn his face was completely white as if he saw a ghost. " Did you say boyfriend?" James asked, knowing he heard correctly.

Freezing, she stared at Shawn with big doe eyes filled with fright not knowing what to say. She then glance at her manger, Liam. He was shaking his head as if not to say anything about it. " Well, I wouldn't say boyfriend..." she started, trailing off as she didn't know what to say. " We are just really close friends who hang out a lot. Most of my friends tease me about him being my boyfriend. I just say boyfriend so it is easier to introduce him," she said with a shrug, smiling fakely at James.

" That is a load of shit. How can you say you dont have a boyfriend? Maybe, I need to hook you up with Shawn. I mean you are hot, he is hot. The two of you would be smoking together," James said, giving her a look. He turns around to face Shawn to see Shawn's face was completely red. James didn't know if it was from embarrassment or anger.

" Let's move on. " She wiggles in her seat as she tries to get away from the topic. She could already see Shawn's mad face and knew they would fight as soon as they got home. " Lastly, it's hard to pick one more. I mean I love Eddie Redmayne, Nick Kroll, Pete Davidson, Callum Turner, Dylan Minnette and more." She groans as she nibbles on her lower lip a bad habit she picked up when she is nervous. " I guess John Mulaney because he can make me laugh. There is just something about him that can make any awkward conversation into something funny. I feel like it would be amazing to hang out with him. "

James nod as he knows what she is talking about. " Well, that was more then 5. I did make a mistake telling you to only pick 5. Next we are going to play Flinch with Shawn Mendes and Y/N.

After the show Y/N stayed around taking to James because she didn't want to go home yet. James was always laughing and joking which made her feel more calm and relaxed. Her manager came saying they need to get back because she will be busy in the afternoon. The drive was silent between the two, not awkward but a comfortable silence.

" Will you be okay at home? I saw how Shawn looked. "

She turns to her manager and laughs slightly. " I'll be fine. I'll call you if I need you." She slips out as she makes her way to her flat she had. Outside, she could see the lights on and that worried her.

" Shawn?" She asked, entering the flat, dreading what is about to come. Shawn was currently on the couch, arms crossed as he watches the door. " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slip up. I wasn't thinking. I didnt even know I was going on James's show until to late. Baby, dont give me that look. "

He looked like a kicked puppy, staring with his hazel eyes. " Why didn't you say my name? I can forgive you for slipping up. I can't believe you lied about our relationship. Just friends right?"

Grunting, she takes off her shoes, throwing them to the side. Her hands run through her hair a habit she picked up from Shawn. " I panicked. I knew you didn't want others to know about our relationship. "

" I didn't want that? No! It was you who said to keep it a secret. I want everyone to know we are together. I want to go out on dates with you. Shower you with love! Tell everyone that you are mine." Shawn yelled, getting frustrated.

" I'm sorry, I didn't want others to know. You know how the media will react. Especially, when I'm working with Evan. You could barley watch the little clips I show you. You know a lot of people ship me with Evan. As many fans ship you with Camila."

" I don't care about that. I love you and I am with you. So what. I'm the one that kisses you for real. I'm the one that makes you moan my name," Shawn spoke, moving closer towards her. He leans and captures her lips agaisnt his in a rough kiss. His hands on her hips, bring her closer towards him.

He pulls back, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck. Nibbling as to leave his mark on her. " Everyone is going to know you are with me. " She moans as he bites her sensitive spot. His hands trailing under her dress as he flicks a finger against her clit.

To be continued....

Maybe.

#shawn mendes imagine #shawn x reader #shawn mendes x reader #shawn #shawn mendes #reader insert #reader #sexy #james corden #james #tv show #tv #love #anger #secerts #shawn Mendes x Y/N #Y/N #Shawn peter raul Mendes #Shawn Mendes fanfic #shawn Mendes fic #shawn Mendes one shot #imagine #imagine Shawn Mendes #shawn Mendes concepts #shawn Mendes requested

[thawingthoughts]

To All The Boys I’m Tired of Loving...

Does this shit get any easier?

Dear Tumblr, it’s me, Becca.

It’s been a while.

I’ve been hand journaling lately, but I feel like I have too many thoughts and emotions to be limited to the speed of my carpal tunnel. 

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I broke up with the person I thought was supposed to be the love of my life in July last year. It fucking sucked, but it was the best decision I’ve ever made without question. The life I lived in those months after was more life than I had lived in my 23 years prior. I went to a foreign country, I moved, I made better friends, lost bad ones, made moves in my career and, well, fell in love again?

Which brings me to today, another fucking shitty day.

Love doesn’t suck, but navigating relationships in your 20s does. 

Today I’ve spent the day crying my eyes out over a guy who technically was never my boyfriend. I genuinely never thought that would be me. Who the fuck am I right now? 

Anyway, let’s continue. 

In August 2018 I met a boy (because let’s face it if they’re under 30 they’re not a man) who wrecked my heart. Which, like I said who the fuck am I to let that happen?

He was too good to be true, and sure enough, he was. 

In our Pete Davidson / Ariana Grande pace of a relationship, we shared a lot of life, a lot of sex, and I think more love than either of us care to admit. Much like the famous duo though, I think we were both in a lovesick rebound. Saying that doesn’t discount the validity in the emotions of the relationship, but it does give justification for its exhilarating but devasting end.

Like a deadly car crash from street racing, things went from 100 to zero, quick.

I think at the end of it though, I put him on an unwarranted pedestal because of the trauma he experienced in his life. And that’s not fair to me. 

Yes, in that relationship I had a lot of guards up. I pursued something much bigger than I had ever anticipated. I fell harder than I thought I could fall, and I was so afraid of those emotions and if they were real. 

I let a man say all the things I wanted and needed to hear. Treated me like a fucking queen in a way I had never experienced before. Listened like no one I had ever met. stupidly handsome, passionate, funny, incredible in bed...the list can go on. 

But also, let’s call the bullshit where we can now. Rose-colored glasses off. 

He’s got demons I can’t help, especially if he has no desire to help himself. His personality tends to bleed politician in order to skate around truly expressing himself. He scapegoat’s bad communication with vague statements. He’s extremely intentional in the moment but has poor follow through. Literally runs away from a confrontational situation. 

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I remember after that first date though, that I thought I had met my match. And I was fucking terrified. Never in my life had I been on such an incredible first date. And no, that’s not to say that it was like a rom-com with these insane bells and whistles, but there was a chemistry between us like I had never felt before. 

We met like any millennial in 2018, on a dating app. I had zero expectations. His profile had no info and he was roughly my age, so the fact that I had swiped right...surprised I did honestly. 

I remember I half-ass dressed up for this date, almost canceling last minute until I realized the restaurant was right around the corner from my office. 

I enter the restaurant, late, huffing and puffing and hot in the August heat (lol it’s Portland so it’s probably only 80 something degrees). I see him there and he’s in this wonderful suit and I feel like a hot mess, quite literally. We were probably there for three hours? We hit every topic that makes me wet: feminism, how Portland is so white, our shared Latinx experiences, liberal politics, I don’t even remember what else. I just remember calling my mom on my way home saying I’m fucked. Saying why the hell did God put this person in my life at this moment when I made such a fucking loud declaration to the universe that I was not ready. 

He’s the only person I ever asked out on a second date. And that date was just as great as the first. We got dessert at my favorite place in town late at night after an extremely tough day at work. 

Next his ass helped me move apartments.

Then the following week we ended up at the movies watching such a heavy movie, both needing a drink afterward. Next thing I know it’s four in the morning and we’re parked in his car outside of the movie theater. We’ve already made a seven-eleven run for gum and water.

I, being the confrontational person I am, asked him what’s his deal. In my head how does a guy pursue a woman like this without wanting to seriously date? Because, per my mantra earlier, I was not trying to date. 

He told me his story, and it eerily mirrored mine. He and his partner of three years broke up that summer because of cheating. He was trying to get back in the game. He wasn’t looking for anything serious, but having a hard time navigating the app scene. He said a lot of girls said they felt like he wanted something serious because he was so nice, but that wasn’t the case. 

I, of course, felt instant relief and also that there was a storm destined for our future. 

We were in the same boat, hurray, but knowing the person I was and who I was actively trying so hard not to be, I was going to fall. Fucking hard.

And fucking hard I fell. 

We kissed that night. It was hands down one of the, if not the, best kiss of my life. I don’t know if it was the build-up at the time, my constant experience with men who suck at kissing, or my current raw emotions, but as of right now he can keep that title. 

The following night I ask him out to dinner and took him home. We hooked up and I was blown away. So of course, like any person who has been deprived of good sex for a long time, had him over for too many late nights during the work week. 

Were either of us getting quality sleep? No. Was it the most fun I had in a long time? Absolutely. 

Then all of a sudden we were spending a lot of time together. More than just late nights, more than just evening dates. We were sharing our work days and our work lives with one another. We’d sometimes get lunch together. He was taking me to events. I met his friends. He slept over 3-4 nights a week. We shared deep stuff going on in our lives.

That shit scared me. A lot. 

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I’d been a serial monogamous. Been in three three-year relationships. All so different from one another, but all-in-all, bad. None of them ended well. I was cheated on in every single one. 

The first one I was so god damn young that I can’t fault either of us at that time anymore. We’ve learned and grown and after probably more years than I’m proud of, I forgave him.

The second was a rebound from the first; it just happened to last three whole years. We were co-dependent in a way that was toxic for both of us, but we were just college kids who hadn’t ever been in truly healthy relationships before then. I don’t know if forgiveness is the right word in this one, but I’ve learned to let go of my baggage from it.

The third one...was a nightmare. It wasn’t at first and we had two beautiful years, but that last year was brutal. He lied to me. He cheated on me. He called me a cunt. He gaslit me. He harmed my growth when I became a more independent person...the list can go on. 

The point is, I hadn’t been lucky in love yet. I had a pattern of loving hard and not receiving that equal love back. Additionally, I hadn’t truly ever been my own person yet. Moving to Portland was my first big step into becoming my own person, and breaking up with ex #3 was my second. So unfolding myself to this new person, and potentially building a life with him in this city that I had built a life for myself, fucking terrified me. 

Because of all that, I was selfish. Selfish that was not in any way fair to him. I loved the way he made me feel, the way he treated me, the sex, etc., that I refused to address the relationship that was building between us. I didn’t want to lose what we had, but I was also too afraid to let him into a bigger part of my life and my plans. 

Where I was at in my process at that time was too focused on what if it doesn’t go according to plan? What if he breaks my heart? What happens when I get a job outside of Portland? 

I set that stage of what our relationship was because I wanted to control as much as I could of what was going to happen to me. I wanted to be as calculated as possible in order to not fall victim to my past mistakes. 

By the time I had decided to fully open up though, to be as vulnerable as he’d been with me, it was too late. 

Things had changed and I was too busy worrying about me to fully see that. 

I will take ownership of my selfishness in the situation. I will take ownership in my over communication but not the clearest communication. I will take ownership of the fact that I was not in the right place for something that could’ve been so beautiful. 

BUT - all that being said, there’s some ownership I wish he’d take. Like for letting me walk all over him like that. For not being more clear on his wants and needs. For not following through on his words and apologies. For not acknowledging that maybe he was just as not ready for this as I was. And lastly, for not letting me go when he should’ve. 

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For almost two whole months we played games. And I don’t play games. 

He gave me “what, do we go back to being strangers?” and “You’re such an important part of my life and I’m not ready to lose you.” 

At first, yes I said maybe we shouldn’t talk. A week later I changed my mind on that, and the second I did I let him know. After that, I tried to be as accommodating to his state of mind, his career, and his bandwidth. I was honestly fine because at that point I had accepted where he was and where I was, and I was willing to see what our next check-in would bring. 

When I was no longer fine was when that check-in came up and he blew me off. For the first time if felt like his actions and his words didn’t align, and that hurt. We were supposed to get coffee, and I stupidly was too excited for such a mundane hang out. It had been so long since I’d seen him, and at that point, I was just happy to hear about his life. To catch up. This person had been a part of my daily life for four months and then all of a sudden dropped off the face of the planet. 

When he never reached back out about coffee that day though, I felt such a change. This amazingly incredible person I had built up in my head - shattered. 

I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Give him a full day to respond. That night I did happen to go out with some friends I’d never really spent time with before. While I was out I ran into one of his friends, who seemed to know more about my relationship than I did at that moment. 

It felt like salt being poured on an open wound. 

The next day I confronted him via text, my least favorite platform. I expressed how upset I was with him, which was hard for me to do since this was my first time being truly angry / upset / disappointed in him. He sent me a very politically correct response but did offer to meet up that night to chat.

So we did. We drove around in his car for an hour because that’s about all the time he had. And I did appreciate every moment of that hour. 

He apologized in the way every person in a fight with someone they care about should apologize. He validated my feelings, told me I didn’t have to forgive him at that moment, took full ownership of the situation, and promised to do better.

The thing is though, he didn’t do better. a pattern formed before my eyes. 

After the conversation, I sent him a long text. All of me hated sending a text like that, but I knew I had thoughts I needed to get off my chest and there was no other way to do it given our circumstances. 

No response. Which I expected at that moment because I sent the message so late.

But then a day went by, and two days, and then a week, and then two weeks. 

Wow. 

How am I supposed to believe any of these sentiments - “what, do we go back to being strangers?” “You’re such an important part of my life and I’m not ready to lose you” - ring any truth when this is the way I keep being treated? 

So we come up on week two of no response, and I end up at an event put on by his work. My office sponsored a couple tables at the event, which I went on behalf of the office but also because I wanted to get the closure I felt I deserved at that point. 

I took a big risk praying that A: he’d want to talk to me, and B: offer me a ride home so that we can actually talk. My phone was dead, I hadn’t driven there, and all my coworkers left before the end of the event. 

A buzzed me took a giant sip of wine and walked over to his table at the end of the event boldly saying “are you gonna act like you didn’t see me tonight?” 

He flashed that god damn smile of his that gets me every time and gave me some runaround. I still don’t believe he didn’t see me. I digress.

I make the rounds I need to with him in order to get to my end goal, to actually having the sit-down conversation I needed. That was hard for me since the last time I did that with him we were  “together,” and I’m sure all of those people know no different. 

Shots were fired, jabs were made, but we made it that conversation I’d been desperately seeking. It wasn’t the conversation I wanted, but the one I needed. 

That shit hit cold; not only because it was the official ending of an era of my life, but also I felt I didn’t articulate myself the way I wish I had. Which I guess is why I’ve spent three hours in the middle of the night writing all this out. 

Afterthoughts of that night: 

I am done apologizing for my faults in the situation because I’ve done that more than deserved. 

I am tired of him using the excuse that he’s made it clear where he’s at mentally as a dismissal for his mishandling of me and my emotions in this situation. 

I don't know if we’ll ever see eye-to-eye on the above statement because of our communication styles and our defensive levels for ourselves.

I tried so hard to actively avoid getting hurt in this “situationship,” yet this just as painful and torturous as all my other serious breakups. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry at but so concerned for someone at the same time. 

From a third-party viewpoint, it’s easy to objectively list out all the reasons this relationship would never work (there’s A LOT). Somehow those rationalizations don’t make this hurt any less, and that fucking sucks. 

I will never be able to listen to Miguel the same way. 

I do truly hope there is a point in our lives that we can be friends again. 

I’m done putting him on a pedestal, but he is the best person I’ve ever dated. I do genuinely hope the best for him because despite how fucked up this situation was/is, he’s a wonderful person at his core with his own demons to face. 

WHAT DID I LEARN THOUGH??

This has been hard to tap into, but I know it’s vital to think through in order to get over this situation. 

God’s timing is funny, but there’s a reason for everything. 

Do not use the apps unless you’re ready to pursue a relationship; they cause more emotional labor / drama than you want or need

That organic personality / sexual chemistry is essential. There’s a lot to work on in relationships, but that shouldn’t be one of them. 

You can’t start a relationship / situationship when you’re emotionally unavailable.

Work on the balance of being there for someone and being selfless to the point of self-sabotage. 

The date bar has been set - don’t settle for a man who can’t afford to treat you like you deserve to be treated (as a feminist I’m torn by this statement, but as a woman who loves to be romanced...whoops).

Continue to take your time with relationships. This one may have failed, but that wasn’t because of taking it slow. 

Being with someone who inherently understands your background and values in invaluable. 

The second you recognize a pattern, address it and move forward / get out. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

This was fucking rough. So fucking rough. 

I went through such a roller coaster of emotions today. For the first time in my life, I am the single friend of my core friend group. I’m also alone here in Portland and breaching a point where I’m about to outgrow my core friends in their life stages. 

Fuck, my baby girl is getting married soon. My brother is moving in with his girlfriend. And I’m over here wondering if the rest of my life is going to consist of a bad work/life balance, too much booze, bad dates, and worse sex? 

Also, if anything I’m so god damn afraid to open up to someone ever again. Because what if that person says their willing to wait because “I’m worth it” and then this happens, all over again. How many times do I have to go through this until I find the one?

Agh. Clearly, there’s still a lot to work through. And at least I’ve learned that despite this absolutely awful sex drought, the drought is better than giving a piece of yourself away to every shitty guy who wants to get in your pants on every dating app. 

Dating in Portland though? Slim pickings. Which make finding that spark with someone again feel almost like an impossible feat. 

Hopefully when I go to bed, this’ll all get a little easier. Day by day. Because time heals all wounds right? 

One of the worst expressions to an impatient person though. 

Alright, goodnight Internet. 

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P.S.

Who knows if I’ll ever be bold enough to send this to the man himself, but if I do, this is a raw emotional rendition of me and I hope you take that into consideration as you read it. 

Bye Rico, what we had was so special, but such a fucking mess. I’ll miss you quite terribly. 

[amymillcr]

QUESTIONNAIRE with AMELIA CAROLINA MILLER

# OF Qs ANSWERED: 150

1. if they were a candle, what scent would they be?

“ i never really thought about it, so i’m going with a lemon scented one. because i may or may not have an obsession with lemons. “

2. what female celebrity do they wish was their sister?

“ ooooh, emily blunt without a doubt in mind !! she’s so great and funny and beautiful, i would love to be her sister.”

3. what male celebrity do they wish was their brother?

“ is it bad if i say pete davidson so i can be ariana’s sister-in-law ?? it is ?? okay... i will choose john mulaney.  “

4. how old do they think they’ll be when they get married?

“ with the current state of my love life ?? never. but i think 30 would be a good age to get married. “

5. how many countries have they been to?

“ never been out of the states, unfortunately enough. “

6. what would they name their daughter if they had one?

“ helena. i like the sound of it and the meaning of the name, so yeah. i would choose helena. “

7.  what would they name their son if they had one?

“ hmmm, i never thought about a boy name ?? but, i like the name anthony. so that will be my answer for now. “

8. what was their favorite tv show as a child?

“ totally spies !! three girls being badass and saving the world ?? count me the fuck in !! “

9.  what language, besides their native language, would they like to be fluent in?

“ italian. i downloaded duolingo once to learn a bit, but that shit doesn’t work for me at all. mainly because i would get a notification and just shrug it off. “

10.  would they ever change their name? if so, to what?

“ as common as my name is, i don’t think so. because one: i never thought of any other name i would like to be called. and two: i think my name fits me. “

11. what was the last compliment they got?

“ a seven-year-old camper told me my hair is pretty. “

12. what is their favorite flavor of tea?

“ green tea. but i only drink it mixed with black tea in the morning to get energized. “

13. how did they find out that santa and the easter bunny weren’t real?

“ i found out santa wasn’t real because my dad was horrible at hiding his santa costume. and easter bunny was because i woke up early one day and i saw my mom making little bunny footprints on the floor. “

14. what is their hogwarts house?

“ i always thought i was a gryffindor, but when i took the pottermore test years ago... i got slytherin. i guess i’m a cunning folk just like merlin. “

15. what tarot card are they?

“ i got the sun card !! “

16. are they more of a marvel or dc fan?

“ i enjoy both, but i lean more towards marvel. i like the comedy route they take on the movies. and the series are better, that’s all. “

17. who is their favorite superhero?

“ jessica jones aka jewel. i relate to her in ‘ being a messy adult ’ department. “

18. everyone has a song that deeply reminds them of their childhood. what is theirs?

“ crazy by aerosmith. it used to be one of my dad’s favorite songs. maybe it still is, who knows ?? but yeah... he used to sing that to my mom and dance around the kitchen with her. it was... nice. “

19. what are the meanings of their first, middle, and last name?

“ amelia means defender and striving, carolina means song of happiness. and after a quick research, miller means one who grinds grain. “

20. have they ever stolen a street sign before?

“ no, but that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. it would be a good decor for my bedroom, hm. “

21. what is their biggest pet peeve?

“ people chewing with their mouth open and slow walkers. i can’t choose between these two, both drive me crazy. “

22. if they were a month, what month would they be?

“ is it weird if i say march because it is always a good month for me ?? like, every year march is so great for some weird reason. anyway, march. that’s my choice. “

23. what is their least favourite movie?

“ oh, twilight without a doubt. i never understood the hype about it and because of it, fifty shades was created. “

24. what five movies would they bring with them if they were stuck on a deserted island?

“ ferris bueller’s day off, can’t hardly wait, drive me crazy, enchated and ocean’s 8 so i can finally watch it. “

25. out of all of the late night talk show hosts, who is their favorite?

“ james corden !! i love his skits and overall games. and let’s not forget carpool karaoke is one of the best things to watch when you are bored. “

26. what are three things they are afraid of?

“ being forgotten, being abandoned and snakes. literal and not literal snakes. “

27. what was the first concert they went to?

“ bon jovi when he played on central park summerstage. i remember my mom going crazy because she is obsessed with him. it was a great afternoon. “

28. is there a nickname that only their family calls them?

“ they call me millie. “

29. what side of the bed do they sleep on?

“ left. “

30. what is their favorite comfort food?

“ hershey’s chocolate bar. at least once a month, i go to the store in times square to get one for free. “

31. what award shows do they watch?

“ all of them. i love award season, but i will love it more when amy addams finally get the oscar that she deserves. “

32. do they have any weird body skills (example: being double jointed)?

“ yes !! i can wiggle both of my ears. “

33. if they drink coffee, what is their coffee order?

“ i don’t drink coffee. when i need caffeine i go to black tea mixed with green tea. “

34. what social media platforms do they have?

“ twitter, instagram, snapchat and pinterest. oh, facebook as well so my family knows i’m alive but i barely use it. “

35. are they a cat or dog person?

“ both ?? how can i choose between these precious animals ?? answer: i can’t. and won’t. “

36. if they were a supernatural creature, what would they be?

“ i think i answered this before, but if not, i would love to be a valkyrie. they are a bunch of badass women. “

37. what show are they currently watching on netflix/hulu?

“ queer eye and champions !! both are great and i highkey recommend everyone to watch them. “

38. what is their favorite disney movie?

“ disney is beauty and the beast. disney pixar is a bug’s life, i love a good classic. live action disney is obviously maleficent. fun fact: i saved money to buy the same lipstick angelina used in that movie.“

39. do they wear any perfume or cologne?

“ i wear perfume when i have to work in an event or something fancy like that. but other than that, i use victoria secret’s hydrating body lotion. “

40. what genres of music do they listen to?

“ broadway, pop and rock. “

41. have they ever seen the bee movie?

“ i have the dvd. i think that is enough answer to this question. “

42. what are their favorite memes?

“ to be honest, any reaction gif that ever existed. but the gif of jonathan from queer eye saying ‘can you believe?’ is one of my favorites at the moment. “

43. what celebrities do they share a birthday with?

“ mila kunis and halle berry !! hey yo !! “

44. what is their moon (zodiac) sign?

“ my moon sign is sagittarius. if you want to know the others, i have my whole chart on my phone thanks to my sister... but don’t ask me what it means, i have no idea. “

45. which of the seven cardinal sins do they embody the most?

“ i would say greed. “

46. do they watch sports on television? if so what ones?

“ i only watch sports on television when i need something to make me sleep. “

47. what do they put on their typical sandwich?

“ bread, cheese, steak and bacon. “

48. what was the name of their first significant other?

“ colin. he was a ridiculous piece of shit and i hope he is happy and stay far away from me. “

49. do they care if people think badly of them?

“ not really. point is, haters gonna hate. shake it off, taylor swift. always right. “

50. what was the last thing that made them cry?

“ i always cry when i listen to champagne supernova by oasis, so i will say that was the last thing that made me cry because i can’t really remember the last time i cried. “

51. are they an iphone or samsung user?

“ iphone. “

52. what type of computer do they use (example: apple)?

“ lenovo thinkpad e475. “

53. what is one of their nervous habits?

“ nail biting, tapping my foot, and talking really fast. my mom says i touch my hair a lot when i’m nervous, too.“

54. out of all reality shows, which one would they have a chance winning?

“ i’m pretty sure i could win big brother. 98% certain of it. “

55. would they ever go bungee jumping or skydiving?

“ without a doubt, someone please take me. “

56. what do they call their grandparents?

“ grandma and grandpa. “

57. what do they do when they can’t sleep?

“ watch any sport on tv, and if there’s none, cartoons. “

58. what time do they normally go to bed?

“ back home, between 10:30 PM and 11 PM on weekdays and 3 AM on weekends. “

59. if they have instagram, what was the last picture that they posted?

“ it was one of me holding a sword toy in the forest, trying to be a badass like wonder woman. but failing miserably. “ (x)

60. if they have twittter, what was the last thing that they tweeted?

“  i was trying to say “c’est la vie” but i forgot the phrase and so long story short i shrugged and said “livin la vida loca”.   “

61. who is their otp?

“ emily blunt and john krasinski !! i only believe in real love because of them !! “

62. do they like sweet, salty, or sour?

“ sweet and sour. “

63. did they play any sports in the past?

“ swimming and water polo. “

64. what is their favorite cheesy pick up line?

“  you look so familiar... didn't we take a class together? i could've sworn we had chemistry. “

65. what tv show or movie is their guilty pleasure?

“ gravity falls and the lego movie. “

66. if they were a fruit, what fruit would they be?

“ green grapes. “

67. do they sing in the shower?

“ sing would be an understatement. i give a whole madison sqaure garden performance in the shower. “

68. what is their favorite type of chips?

“ doritos. always and forever you will be on my heart. “

69. do they drink juice? if so, what is their favorite kind?

“ lemonade !! and orange juice mixed with strawberry juice. trust me, that shit is good. “

70. what is more important to them: power, money, friends, family, love, or fame?

“ family and friends, always. “

71. what does their handwriting look like?

“ my handwriting is legible, that’s what i can say about it?? oh, i write in cursive. i don’t know how to answer this. “

72. do they have reoccurring dreams? if not, what is their most memorable dream?

“ i have a dream that everyone is ignoring me. i searched what it meant when it first happened, and it turns out i need to communicate more about my feelings. that’s funny. “

73. if they were a taste, what would it be?

“ minty gum. you can’t go wrong with mint gum, unless you are allergic to it. “

74. what is one random fun fact about them?

“ i do volunteer work by delivering food, coats, blankets to homeless people every night that i can for a city program. i have been doing this for a year now, and it is so gratifying being able to help them. i wish sometimes i could do more. “

75. what is their lucky number?

“ seventeen !! “

76. do they have any pets?

“ unfortunately, no. money is tight already and with a pet would be worse. maybe in the future i will adopt one. “

77. do they believe in the paranormal or the supernatural?

“ hell fucking yes to the paranormal. not so much to the supernatural, but i wish it was true. “

78. have they ever had any paranormal experiences?

“ no, but i have heard a lot of them to believe that paranormal exists. “

79. can they sing or dance?

“ i can carry a tune, but i’m no whitney houston. and my dance moves consists in high school musical choreography. “

80. who is the first person they call/text when something exciting happens?

“ my lil sister rachel, theo, and my groupchat with addie and lola.”

81. what is their social media handle?

“ @ameliamill on twitter, @amclias on instagram and @amyazing on snapchat !! “

82. what swear word do they use/like the most?

“ fuck. “

83. what is their ideal first date?

“ i really like outdoor dates, a picnic or a theme park would be fun. outdoor movie or concert, a food festival or a street fair. even getting ice cream and go for a walk instead of sitting on the parlor would be a great first date. “

84. if they were a type of weather, what would they be?

“ the weather after a rainstorm, when the sun is timidly shining again behind the clouds and there’s that smell of fresh rain that makes you feel clean. “

85. what is their least favorite holiday?

“ thanksgiving. the bad memories are real with this one. “

86. what is the first thing that they do in the morning?

“ turn off my alarm and proceed to wake rachel up so she can get ready for school. when i’m here, jump in theo’s bed to wake him up.“

87. who is their ultimate celebrity crush?

“ my love, my life, my heart: chris evans. “

88. do they usually pay with cash or card?

“ cash. “

89. what was the last thing that they bought?

“ alcohol, more specifically whiskey and vodka. “

90. are they a good or bad driver?

“ i like to believe i’m a good driver, i never hit anyone’s car... so. “

91. if they could meet one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?

“ michael jackson, come on. who wouldn’t want to meet the king of pop ?? “

92. have they ever gotten into a physical fight?

“ once in high school. some girl was talking shit about my friend and the instinct to slap her across the face was stronger than the common sense of not doing so. got detention for a week and a super mad mom afterwards. oh well, it was worth it. “

93. do they prefer pepsi or coke?

“ we love and support coke in this house. pepsi is not welcome. “

94. do they prefer the city or the suburbs?

“ city, without a doubt. “

95. do they have any special or odd talents?

“ just the wiggling ears thing, like i said before. “

96. when they were little, what did they want to be when they grew up?

“ i wanted to be an astronaut and then i found out how much math it required to become one. it broke little amy’s heart. “

97. do they have any favorite smells?

“ the smell after it rains, lemon, and homemade food. “

98. if they could visit any place in the world, where would they go?

“ in ibiza za za za, everyday is a fiesta sta sta sta. “

99. do they wear jewelry?

“ yes, a necklace with a rose pendant that my grandma gave me. i haven’t taken it off since she gave me. and also earings. “

100. who is the last person they talked to on the phone?

“ rachel, turns out the lil sis is missing me more than she thought she would. “

101. do they prefer ‘would you rather’ or ‘truth or dare’?

“ would you rather. “

102. what has been their favorite halloween costume yet?

“ cher from clueless with the iconic yellow outfit !! as if there would be a better halloween costume than being the funniest rich girl.  “

103. do they like horror movies?

“ yeah, but i don’t like to watch them alone. “

104. what is their typical breakfast like?

“ soft scrambled eggs and tea. “

105. are they a netflix or hulu person?

“ netflix all the way !! their original content is great as fuck. “

106. do they like to gossip?

“ oh yeah, definitely. but only with close friends. “

107. if they were a song, what one would they be?

“ who do you think you are by spice girls. “

108. what was their best subject in school?

“ weirdly enough, it was spanish. followed by history and english. “

109. what was their worst subject in school?

“ physics. that shit was my fucking nightmare. why sir isaac newton had to discover gravity ?? tell me why ?? “

110. have they ever met anyone famous?

“ yes, a lot. the latest one was chris evans because he was on broadway with ‘lobby hero’. i was trembling the whole time he was talking to me. his eyes are so blue and dreamy. “

111. who was their childhood hero?

“ the totally spies !! no doubt, no doubt. “

112. were any tv shows or movies that they weren’t allowed to watch as a child?

“ my mom would let me watch things that were on my age range. if i wanted to watch something more ‘adult-y’, she would watch it first and then say if i could watch it or not. “

113. what is the strangest thing they have ever eaten?

“ according to my grandma, i ate a beetle when i was 2 year old. so it would be that. “

114. do they prefer friends or family?

“ i can’t choose, both have important roles in my life. “

115. how do they feel about pineapple on pizza?

“ i’m not a fan of it, but i don’t think is the weirdest topping you could put on your pizza like some people make it out to be. “

116. do they put the milk or cereal in the bowl first?

“ cereal in the bowl first. that way you know how much milk you have to put. duh. “

117. how do they think dogs would wear pants?

“ the second one. i don’t think any dog would be able to move wearing pants like in the first picture. “

118. do they believe in luck or fate?

“ fucking yes. life would be boring if you don’t believe in some things. but i believe more in luck than fate, though. “

119. do they use emojis when they text?

“ yes !! my three top most used emojis are the middle finger, eye roll, and the eyes emoji. “

120. who was their favorite character on friends?

“ all of them but ross. ross can rot in hell for making rachel get out of that plane. “

121. what character on friends are they most like?

“ i make jokes when i’m uncomfortable and the only response to a romantic i love you is ‘oh crap’. couldn’t i BE anymore like chandler ?? “

122. would they rather read the books or watch the movies?

“ watch the movies. “

123. what is their favorite time of day?

“ night, when i can finally lay in bed and relax. “

124. did they watch the teletubbies as a child? if so, who was their favorite?

“ if someone watched teletubbies and their favorite wasn’t po, they are fake. “

125. do they check the rating (like a rotten tomatoes rating) of a movie before they go and see one?

“ not really, no. i just watch it and then complain on twitter if it is bad. “

126. do they have any favorite old hollywood movie stars?

“ judy garland, julie andrews and audrey hepburn !! “

127. if they had to live in any other decade, which would they choose?

“ the 80′s, without a doubt. “

128. if they could only listen to five music albums for the rest of their life, which ones would they choose?

“ abba gold: greatest hits, michael jackson: greatest hits, spiceworld by spice girls, backstreet boys: the hits, high school musical 2 soundtrack. “

129. do they believe in heaven/hell or reincarnation?

“ like i said before, not believing in things makes life boring. so yes, i do believe in hell, heaven and reincarnation. “

130. do they like chewing gum?

“ yes, minty gum is great. “

131. do they like to go see musicals or plays?

“ hell yes !! it is one of my favorite things to do. “

132. were they apart of any clubs or teams in high school or college?

“ i was part of the swimming and water polo team in high school. “

133. what was their high school superlative?

“ most likely to brighten someone’s day. “

134. are they good at cooking or baking?

“ i have to be, or my sister and i would be eating take out every night. “

135. could they beat bobby flay?

“ hell no. “

136. do they watch actual television? if so, what channels do they watch?

“ mtv. and your occasional sports channel when i need to sleep. “

137. have they ever seen rupaul’s drag race?

“ yas gawd, werk it mama. “

138. do they prefer pink or yellow lemonade?

“ pink lemonade. everything that is pink, is better. i don’t make the rules, it just is. “

139. could they lip sync for their life?

“ i like to believe that the only lip sync for the life i would have to be in is the one in the final. and that it would be a song that is comedic like anaconda by nicki minaj so i can pull a ben de la creme on it. in these terms, i could definitely lip sync for my life. “

140. is their room messy or clean?

“ an organized mess, thank you very much. “

141. if they were a body part, which one would they be?

“ the brain, it controls every other body part. “

142. if they were an emotion, what would they be?

“ happiness. “

143. if they were a planet, which one would they be?

“ neptune, i don’t know why. “

144. how would they describe their clothing style?

“ eleanor shellstrop look alike. “

145. do they shower in the morning or at night?

“ at night, so my body can relax after a long day. “

146. do they order regular fries, onion rings, sweet potato fries, or tater tots?

“ regular fries. so i can eat them with a sundae. “

147. do they normally wear socks?

“ yes, socks are comfy. “

148. do they fear natural disasters?

“ of course. is there anyone who doesn’t fear natural disasters ?? ”

149. can they ice/roller skate?

“ no way. i always fall on my ass, but hey, that never stopped me from getting up again. “

150. are they good at video games?

“ i’m horrible at video games. the last game i played was mario kart. years ago. “

#stillwater:task3 #⌜ ✽ °˖ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʟʟꜱ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ╾ MUSINGS.⌟

[ekakinomi-forgrownups]

Questioning Neverland--My Thoughts On the Michael Jackson Controversy And Idol Worship In General

※

Warning!

The following post deals with a disturbing, but important social issue that I feel people should know about. If you’re not in the mood to read that, however, use that symbol as a reminder to back away from this post and read another one.

10 days ago, HBO released a documentary called “Leaving Neverland”, which out-lines the lives of two men, Wade Robson and James Safechuck, who explain they were sexually abused by pop mega-star Michael Jackson as young boys for years, in disturbing detail.

The documentary explains how Mr. Jackson used a friendly facade to “befriend” the then-super-fans Robson and Safechuck at different times, and used his super-star glamour to charm and enchant their mothers into letting their little boys stay with this man (who, in both cases, only knew him for a few hours) at his Neverland Ranch, a sort of indoor amusement park for kids…which served a much more devious purpose than just a fun getaway with their favorite pop idol.

Because Mr. Jackson’s favorite attraction at that “park” was, in fact, his bed–where he took the boys almost immediately after meeting them…so that he could start touching them inappropriately, on a regular basis, for years and years–as if these innocent children were just his play-things. And many witnesses report that there were a lot more where that came from–no girls, no men, no women–just little boys. He even went as far as to buy an engagement ring for James Safechuck! (*shudders!*) And to ensure that nobody knew about this “dirty little secret”, he lied to the boys’ parents, brain-washed the boys into thinking that this was how people “show love” to one another, and anybody who would dare tell on him would either get paid huge sums of money to be quiet or be threatened with anything from jail-time to death.

This documentary practically shook the world when it came out–America in particular. It seems everybody’s taking sides now– one side who absolutely won’t defend him after what he did to innocent children, and another side, mostly loyal followers and family members (the Jackson Estate tried to stop HBO from releasing this documentary at first) who say that these men are compulsive liars and/or just out for his money, and that Jackson was just an innocent, child-like weirdo.

And then you’ll find people like me, who don’t know the real truth, and are confused and completely conflicted as to whether it’s better to burn or hug their posters and record collections. Now, I’m not saying I’m a fan of his work myself–but I have experienced this dilemma many times over the course of my life. In a different way than most, however.

You see, it’s odd, but when an autistic person loves something (and that can be anything from a pop star to, say, a pretty color scheme on a fictional character), they feel this sense of true love for that particular thing, and like it could never do us wrong in any way. So when anything even remotely bad does happen (and that can be anything from the character changing designs and getting an ugly new color scheme to the pop star turning out to be an abusive scum-bag), it’s complete emotional turmoil, and we feel like the thing we love had just been ruined for us forever. And this happens for two reasons–1. Autistics tend to think of things only one way or the other, and it’s weird for us to think of something in a neutral way. And 2., we’re way too emotional. Neurotypical (“normal”) people tend to think that we’re not able to feel any complex emotions or empathy. The truth of it is, we actually feel too many–far more than we can express sometimes.

There was a point where I felt like everything I love has been “ruined” for me at some point. To name just a few examples: “The Amazing World Of Gumball” had its aesthetic changed to something I don’t like after its first season. “Pastel Yumi”, a magical girl anime I really liked when I watched the first episode, turned out to have loads of fan-service (meaning characters acting sexy to please the audience) of the 10-year old protagonist. The “My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic” toys only became better-built and actually accurate to the show after I stopped liking the show (I stopped watching it after Season 3). And speaking of My Little Pony, even though I think Nightmare Moon had the prettiest color scheme of any character on the show, I’d feel bad for liking her more than Princess Luna, because call me a goody-two-shoes, but I usually don’t root for evil characters. And, the same goes for the Once-Ler from “The Lorax”.

Since then I’ve changed a lot, and I’ve started finding ways to cope with most of these things and “un-ruin” them…but that’s because they’re all small things, mostly media of different types. I feel very differently on the matter of real people–which brings me back to empathy. While I’m all for #MeToo, it also devastated me. Not because a lot of my favorite creators and directors were being put out of jobs–but because they turned out to be horrible human beings that only think of women as helpless toys that they can stalk, grab and kiss whenever they want. I’ve never been in any of these situations (*knocks on wood*), but just hearing the fact that beautiful, innocent people are getting treated this badly just boils my blood and, at the same time, makes me want to cry for years.

Yet that still doesn’t stop me from watching the kids’ sit-coms created by Dan Schneider or the Disney/Pixar movies directed by John Lasseter, and it doesn’t stop me from wanting to check out The Loud House, which was created by Chris Savino.  All the men mentioned here were very talented, but all sexual predators themselves. Which brings me back to Michael Jackson.

He was a house-hold name when I was a kid, and my first knowledge of him came from both “The Simpsons” episode “Stark Raving Dad”, which featured his uncredited voice, and the Jackson 5 song “ABC”. But I got my first real exposure to his artistry and music during my Dad’s 50th birth-day party last October, where we all sat around, ate cake and watched music videos, and we played several of his hits in a row. I fell in love with the song “Remember The Time”. I also binge-watched that corny “Jackson 5ive” cartoon from the 70’s (which featured a huge portion of their early catalogue) the following November. So to be exposed to such amazing talent and good looks only to be compelled to forget about it all a few months later because he was a horrible person certainly boggled my mind a little. (Bad or confused reactions to sudden changes in plans are another casualty of autism which can be difficult to handle at times).

Suddenly, I begun to seriously ponder my own morals. If I’m a so-called “social justice warrior”, then how can I possibly still enjoy work made by awful people? If I care about minorities so much, then why do I still get joy out of art made by people who obviously don’t care about them? If I can’t bring myself to sympathize with people with such horrible attitudes, then why is it so hard to just ignore them completely? It’s going against my character, and it’s going against my own common sense. Yet if I push these things out of my life, my life will turn up-side-down. What’s a poor puzzled panuki like me to do?

Well, if there’s one up-side to this whole Michael Jackson thing, it’s that it gave the entire world a huge lesson in the dangers of idol worship. So naturally, everybody else is writing about the same types of issues I’m having with this, and how they choose to resolve them. I looked at some of the things they wrote for answers. After looking at the opinions of several different people, I finally found the one article that rang with me the most, and it was written by Constance Grady of Vox. It’s called “What do we do when the art we love was created by a monster?”. You can read it here, but to put it more shortly, this woman basically looked to 3 different literary professors for advice and reference, and they all explained different ways of separating art from artist through different types of methods, created by classical literature theorists. Ms. Grady presented each one in her article, and how it works, to show that there are many different ways of handling a situation like this. To quote Ms. Grady: “All these tools are there, just waiting for me, just as they are waiting for you. And the moment we start to question how we should think about any work of art, we can pick them up and wield them accordingly.”

Another helpful piece of advice came, believe it or not, from Pete Davidson of “Saturday Night Live”, who gave a surprisingly insightful lecture on the “Weekend Update” segment of the show that basically said, that it’s OK if it feels right to let some artists go. But if there’s another artist whose work resonates with you on a personal level so much that they’ve become a part of your heart, you shouldn’t put them out of your life completely. But you should acknowledge that these people did bad things each time you enjoy their work. Basically, that just because someone is talented doesn’t mean that they’re just as good on the inside, and you should acknowledge that. One of the things he said was very smart: “Any time any of us listen to a song or watch a movie made by an accused serial predator, you have to donate a dollar to a charity that helps sexual assault survivors.” After reading all these articles, I found my final, set-in-stone stance on the matter, that bridges the gap between my morals and my enjoyment of a piece of art. Here’s what I think:

If you really don’t like what an artist did in real life, then directly rooting that to their art will only give the real person power over your brain, your fun, your happiness. My mommy told me that no matter what the original artist intended, a piece of art stands alone, and is open to interpretation by anybody who looks at it. Anybody. It’s what she told me to help me understand the appeal of abstract art. And on top of helping me separate art from artist, it also helps me read (some) fan-fiction without cringing, watch modern adaptations of classic books without being to critical, and on top of it all, it also mirrors the Barthes and Livingstone theory mentioned in Constance Grady’s Vox article.

Besides, acknowledging or enjoying their work doesn’t necessarily mean I support the people behind it (as far as their companies are concerned, at least). To these famous people, money is one of the most important things in the world–a lot of times, more important than other people. So unless you have some money to throw out, you’re completely anonymous as far as they’re concerned, because you’re not rewarding them for their work, even if you enjoy it.

The only time I’ll completely make an exception with any artist is if the work they make is too similar to their real life. For example, the Cartoon Network show “Clarence” is about a boy…named Clarence…who has a positive attitude, but things and does things in very weird ways. An eerie mirroring of Skyler Page, the creator, who was fired from Cartoon Network for grabbing the breasts of a crew member for “Adventure Time”, and was later revealed to be a complete mental case…by one of his best friends, who turned out to be the inspiration for one of Clarence’s own friends! (*shudders again!*)

The same thing is very real for R. Kelly, an R&B singer who I never took interest in or even listened to, but who is said to have a catalogue full of highly sexual songs, a lot of which regard age differences and mutual consent. (*shudders one last time.*)

As for Michael Jackson…I don’t really associate his songs or performances with his real self because, if you really think about it, it’s pretty obvious that his pop persona was way different from that. a lot of his popular hits never mention hanging out with little boys. He mentions girls, a lot of which actually prey on him…he also never mentions any of his child-like interests that he had in real life…in fact, I think the only connection the artist Michael has with the real Michael are a few songs that are based on the good side of him (his humanitarian values) and those that are based on his awful childhood, where he himself was abused (not sexually, but still abused) as a boy…which could actually be one of his reasons behind his own abuse crimes. Almost as if he had this secret mentality, like “if I couldn’t have a childhood, then no boy will.” Or maybe he became overly obsessed with male children because he felt like he was getting back a piece of his life that was stolen from him, but expressed his love and sentimentality for it in the most disgusting way possible. I’m not excusing it at all, I think it was still horrible and completely uncalled for. These are just a few theories I had.

Yes, these are all just my personal opinions. And of course, you shouldn’t take that, or any of my personal opinions, as the gospel truth just because you’re reading my blog–everybody has their own individual opinions. And if you haven’t really formed your own, I suggest getting opinions from everyone and everything around you–your friends, your parents, other news sources, other blogs–and see what other people have to say on the matter, and let what you find help you form your own. It’s just like building a puzzle–it takes more than one piece of information to get the full picture.

As for my big picture, the real Michael Jackson doesn’t exist, as far as I’m concerned, and doesn’t deserve to. Just his character that he plays on the stage. And just like the rest of the male characters I’m attracted to, he’s someone I’d never want to be around in real life–just pretty, talented, and charismatic. And in a world where always thinking about the little things can drive you completely insane, sometimes that’s all that really matters.

[newagesispage]

                                                                        JULY              2020

PAGE RIB

Tammy Duckworth or Stacey Abrams for VP PLEASE!!!!! Thus is one of the most important Vice Presidential picks ever. Since Biden was not the first choice for a lot of people, I think many want to see if at least he will make good choices for the slots he must fill around him.** Shut up Klobuchar, nobody was going to make you VP, why do U need more spotlight?

*****

Hooray for the LBGTQ community! The Supreme Court has ruled that a human can’t be fired because of sexual orientation or gender identity.** On the down side, the Trump administration overturned protections for transgender people against sex discrimination in health care. It now defines gender as a person’s biological sex.**Also, Single sex homeless shelters can turn away our trans friends. ** The Supreme Court also ruled that Trump is blocked from ending Deferred Action for Childhood Arrival.** Another court ruling struck down the Louisiana law that had never really went into effect.  The rule was to make Dr.’s register with hospitals. Next up: The Court is taking on the issue of Trump’s tax returns.

*****

You have to check out Kubrick.life. It is fab!!

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The reason there’s never been a Rolling Stones musical is that it’s so hard to find a casting director without sin. –Gary Delaney

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Native Americans are set to protest Trump’s visit to Mt. Rushmore for the 4th.

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AP Bio is moving to Peacock.

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Great to see Search Party back for season 3 now on HBO max.

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The Brockmire jacket is on display now at the Baseball Hall of Fame.

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Hooray for Pete Davidson and his basement living. Times have changed and families are living together again, often because financially, they have no choice. ** Pete and Colin Jost will star in worst man.** Jost also has a memoir, A very Punchable Face, on the way. He will also star in a live action/animated Tom and Jerry.

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Days alert: I think Brady is beyond redemption. ** I am always so glad when Lucas or Wilhelm come back!!!!!** Jack and Jen need a story! **I hope Sarah gets over her shit and runs to Xander before he starts acting like a thug again.** Marci Miller is on the way back. ** The Daytime Emmy’s were held on June 26. There were wins for Ellen, The View, Heather Tom and Sesame Street.  Days did not fare too well this year but did honor Olivia Rose Keegan. ** So glad to some returns for Eli’s wedding!!!

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Can’t wait for the film, Never too late. The Michael Lembeck directed project stars Ellen Burstyn, James Caan, Ann-Margret, Jane Curtin, Loretta Devine, Christopher Lloyd and French Stewart.

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Other Countries are starting to ban us from travel in theirs because of our rampant covid-19.** The WH wants to end Federal funding for testing and research in parts of the country.** 1.4 billion in taxpayer $ went to aid dead people since the Government did not check death records.** Kid Rock’s bar had their liquor license revoked for covid-19 violations.** There are so many spoiled rotten Americans who seem to care nothing for the safety of others and only their own “rights.” People are dying, how long do we ignore the crazy people?? Can we stop harassing law abiding minorities and protestors and start arresting those that refuse to wear a mask? Thank you to the Governors, like JB Pritzker who have been level headed and kept us safe

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I am so looking forward to I’ll be gone in the dark. We miss you Michelle McNamara..

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Ozark will come back for a 4th and final season!!!!!

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“Shaming doesn’t lead to learning.” –Willow Smith

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I wanna see a buddy movie with Amy Sedaris and Amber Ruffin!!! Wouldn’t that be delightful?? They could be besties running a shop or estranged sisters or long lost cousins. I just think they would have great chemistry.** At least we can look forward to the Amber Ruffin show which has been in the works for a year, coming to Peacock!

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The RNC had not updated its platform since 2016. Their site said “the current administration has abandoned American friends and rewarded its enemies.”** The much touted Oklahoma rally was a complete dud. Word is that campaign manager Brad Parscale and Jared are getting most of the blame. They and the secret service are reportedly in quarantine now. Next, Mr. Brilliant was off to the equally intelligent Dream City Church in Arizona. The mega church said that they had installed an air filtration system that kills 99,9 % of the Corona virus in 10 minutes.  Their FB page soon took that statement down. **  “Still the most believable thing that’s ever been said in a mega church.” –Stephen Colbert. The administration uses the lag time between exposure and test results. By the time these crowds of people may start to test positive, Trump will have moved on and take no blame. ** It seems all that has been accomplished since Scary Clown 45 took office is angst. From reporters to Doctors to politicians to the public there have been disagreements and turmoil. Behind the scenes, however, the agendas being pushed thru are trampling all over our rights.

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The Government has purged 174 thousand fake accounts that originated in China.

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Studies show that cop shows make us believe that police are mostly good and mostly break the rules only for really bad perps. 21% of the public interact with police on a regular basis. Can we not separate fact from fiction?

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Paul McCartney is pretty pissed at the Italian government after they gave no refunds to fans for a cancelled concert. ** A story that turned out to be a non-story is Penny Lane. Someone wrote ‘racist’ above the famous Penny Lane sign because they thought the street was named for slave trader James Penny. It turns out that this had been researched before and this is not a true story .  The street was originally Pennies street and had no connection.

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Jimmy Kimmel is taking a couple of months off.  Guest hosts will pop up in July. He has had some backlash from old blackface controversy and some questionable interviews.

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What we’ve seen now is how fragile a democracy is. –Sherilyn Ifill

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70% of companies have cancelled internships. The rich have gotten a lot richer.

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Hooray for the young! Many are volunteering for the Corona virus trials in which they will have to be given the virus.** What a wonderful world it would be if we could all get along and play fair and help each other. Why do some so hate that idea?

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Army for Trump.com???? Did he get this idea from Gene Simmons????** People are starving, there is unrest in the streets, protesters beaten, racial inequality, over 110thousand dead to a virus and Trump wants a military parade for the 4th of July??? WTF?? The people of Washington are not too happy as they ponder the weight of tanks ruining their streets.

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Why does Trump talk of his love of Police and yet in Dallas he did not have the Police Chief, the Sheriff or the DA at his event?

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The Senate armed services committee has adopted an amendment to remove the names of confederate General from military assets within 3 years. ** Traitors statues are being removed. Will the faces of slave owners on currency be next???** Princeton is taking Woodrow Wilson’s name off of the school. ** Why do we even have to take flags, statues and imagery from Naval ships and the halls of our Government buildings?? They should have been removed long ago.** We do not live in a country to which Braxton Bragg, Henry L. Benning or Robert E. Lee can serve as an inspiration. –Gen. David Patraeus**Perhaps Scary Clown could just be President of the Confederacy since they seem to want it miss it. Is it time to secede and this time, just let them go??** Free speech is very important in this country and those who want confederate flags on personal property should be able to. It is good to know who the traitors are. Things do not change, from parading the possible communists to Japanese internment to Native Americans to the Irish, the Jewish, to Black lives matter. The uninformed, the bully’s and the haters just seem to need someone to blame for their problems.

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Dolly Parton and Nina West will sell products which declare, “Kindness is Queen.”  The sales will fund Imagination Library and Nina West foundation.

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This month in “alleged” creep news : Actor Danny Masterson has been charged with 3 counts of rape.** Chris D’Elia is accused of sexual harassment and grooming under aged women. **Justin Beiber is accused of sexual assault from 2014.** Ron Jeremy has been charged with the rape of 3 women and sexually assaulting another. His bail is 6.6 mil.** Mythbuster’s host Adam Savage has had a lawsuit filed against him by his sister, Miranda Pacchiana for sexual abuse.** The Weinstein global settlement is 46.7 mil.

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There is word that they may replace Tennessee’s statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest with Dolly Parton. That is pretty good thinking!!

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Don’t worry about those confederate statues being torn down. They’re getting what they always wanted: Out of America.** I think the statues of the white European they claim is Jesus should also come down.  They are a form of white supremacy. –Shaun King

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Slavery is still legal by way of the industrial prison complex and privatized prison systems. –Wolfe the Chef

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Trump has a half billion in loans coming due. –Mother Jones

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Perhaps Trump thinks between, the protests, the Covid and the cop killings, many of those against him will just die off. Moscow Mitch and the boys are right there with him. Bill Maher would call it the red wall of silence. Next up to kill us off: the draft?

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The Senate armed services committee has adopted an amendment to remove the names of Confederate Generals from military assets within 3 years.

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Trump signs executive order renaming the Pearl Harbor memorial, ‘Fort Yamamto.’ –Danny Zuker

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Asst. Secretary of State for legislative affairs, Mary Elizabeth Taylor is out.

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Let us never forget the name Darnella Frasier, the 17 year old girl who took video of George Floyd’s murder.

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Hollywood never told us that 1 in 3 cowboys back in the day were black. Legend has it that the Lone Ranger was based on one of those very cowboys by the name of Bass Reeves.

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Nascar has banned the confederate flag from events thanks to Bubba Wallace, the first black driver in 50 years to win one of the top 3 National touring series.  He has introduced his new #43 Chevy which  states Black Lives Matter with  black and white fists clasped with the caption, “Compassion, love and understanding.” Fans were asked in 2015 to stop with the flag but many ignored the request. Driver Ray Ciccarelli says that he will leave at the end of the season.  Kyle Larson was suspended from Nascar and fired by his team for a racial slur during a streaming event. Kyle Weatherman unveiled a blue lives matter flag car with the slogan “Back the Blue.”** Why was taking a knee so bad? The NFL says they made a mistake. This country is so slow to change which is why we must keep the pressure on.  To focus on punishment after and not prevention of these crimes is a huge mistake.** The June 21 race was delayed for rain but it will be remembered for the plane that flew overhead with a confederate flag that declared ‘Defund Nascar’ and a noose that was found in the garage stall of Bubba Wallace. The next day at the postponed race, the other drivers walked Wallace to the front. It was something to see.  Mike Skinner’s son, Dustin wrote, “My hat is off to who put the noose at his car. I wish they would of tied it to him and drug him around the pits.” **The next day the FBI declared that the noose was just a garage pull that had been there for months. WTF???? The right has gone crazy with clever turns of phrase like, ‘fake noose.’ Was it an honest mistake?  I suppose these things can happen when everybody gets jumpy . The crew member that found it asked others what they thought so it wasn’t lie they jumped to conclusions. It was Talladega that should have known. Mike Skinner’s son,

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Trump began his term promising to build a wall to protect America from the world. He ends it building a wall to protect himself from Americans. – Nick Confessore

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The Dems are happy to let Biden stay safe at home. Journalist Jonathon Lemore mentioned that with all the polls, mishandlings and faux pas from Trump, he may want to change the nickname he has given from sleepy Joe to President –elect Joe. Not so fast, we know the die-hards will not give up even in this ‘Trump fatigue’ slide, but voting is happening in record numbers.

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A judge has ruled that children must be released from the detention centers after 20 days.

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It has been reported that Scary Clown found out in March that Russia offered Afgan militants bounties to kill US troops. Once a traitor, always a traitor. Of course he supports confederate traitors.

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The Georgia Secretary of State spent $400thousand on a commercial. He wanted to pat himself on the back for buying new voting machines.**The Republican party is reportedly spending $20 million to hire people to intimidate voters that they call ‘pollwatchers.’

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Blue Apron will close facilities on Election day and give employees a paid day off. Anybody else wanna step up?

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Raven Symone married Miranda Maday.

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Michelle Williams and hubby Thomas Kail had a baby.

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There are no good cops as long as there are bad cops.** With all the insanity, Marianne Williamson sounds pretty good right now.

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If you have not seen this Trump coloring book that sells for $20, it is something to see. He looks like a super hero which seems like just one more step to dictator.

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AG Barr told the US attorney for the Southern District of NY, Richard Berman that he was stepping down but he refused.  Barr then said that Trump was removing him. Trump says he has nothing to do with it. Have we ever heard of a bigger coward?

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I suppose it is too much to ask but I hope the people who still don’t get what is going on in this country will pay attention and at least try to understand. There are such intelligent points being made and we need to listen. I will share many of those with you. U may have seen a lot of these for yourself but I wanted to highlight some wonderful words.  Slavery, minimum wage, payday loans, can you blame the few looters? Some may be protesters but most are profiteers . Corporate America does not keep a lot of their promises so many feel they have no deal with these people. Most of the protests are peaceful so leave them alone. When the police go after innocent people who assemble, they prove the point that the force is out of control.  It is time to demilitarize and defund the police. Changing policy is nice and all but there are still many cases and those officers remain on the job. ** The protests are about a lot more than George Floyd.** Is this true that some police are covering their badge numbers and names?? Why wouldn’t a person want to serve and protect instead of being so covert? They are proving the point of the protests.

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It’s Boogaloo, not Antifa.

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James Bodenstedt, CEO of Muy who has stake in many Wendy’s, Taco Bell and Pizza Huts has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to the Trump campaign. ** Defund Tucker Carlson, let’s keep an eye on all who advertise on FOX and boycott those. Disney and T mobile have pulled out. I cannot believe Disney was showing ads on there anyway but they claim that it was some 3rd party ad buyer and they did not know. In return, Tucker is telling his listeners about the nasty companies that support Black Lives Matter. ** Why have so many of the Fox employees and their frequent guests been arrested?** I suppose many republicans are quite happy that the Federal government is doing next to nothing to help its citizens. They often scream that they do not want the government involved and we should all be on our own.

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Oh Joy, to wake up and see that The Politician S2 was up! Woo Hoo!! I saw a review in the Reporter that stated , ”Nor does it have anything vaguely insightful to say.”  Well I enjoyed it , mostly due to the wonderful Bette Midler, Judith Light, Joe Morton and the fashion!! Not everything needs a message. There is some outright preaching and a few clever lessons here though.  The last episode could have been better but the line about the older generation and game theory really hit home. Not only do older generations think different, we were taught different. Computers can confound them, gaming can confuse them. Of course, this does not include everyone. But it does seem that the logic we use is just different.  As far as season 2 though, sometimes you just want to watch something delicious and ornery FUN!!

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Givers beware: Many have been finding out that when they donate to the Black Lives Matter Foundation, it is not the Black Lives Matter movement. Do your research!

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I saw a point from a talking head that answered the question of why do blacks keep killing each other? She wondered if people have seen the ID channel which is whites killing each other every day. There seems much plotting and hiding on these shows and somehow they get away with it for so long. I myself have seen much violence in my own family.

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North Carolina would not let the RNC hold its big night there because of restrictions. West Virginia Gov. Justice welcomed Trump to have it the convention there and in fact invited any President there but not Obama. Scary Clown went with Florida.** A white hate group opened a FB page to pose as ANTIFA.

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Scary clown 45 can’t legally employ army against citizens. He declared a dictatorship. –John Cusack** Never forget: Posse Camatatis: The President can’t use the military as his own posse. The insurrection act is the exception if there is an ongoing problem and the Governor has to invite them in.** It is confusing in D.C. for there are secret service, local and Federal all vying for jurisdiction. There is also the ‘correctional police force.’ The AG is combining multiple forces like the DEA, military police, prison and National Guard. Huh? It is time to make D.C. a state. ** After his big show of force for his Bible day, he sent most military leaders back to their home bases.** General Milley has apologized for being a part of the photo op.

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Intel reports show that Russia is so happy with their plan to destroy us from within. It has worked like a charm!** Many in China are saying that Trump is a godsend because he is ruining the rep of the U.S.** It is quite sad to hear leaders and journalists from around the world reporting that America’s time has passed and is no longer a super power.

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He desecrates the Bible. He desecrates a Christian church and he desecrates the Presidency. Shame. –James J. Zogby** The Episcopal Bishop of DC who oversees the DC church that the President stopped at to hold up his book, was outraged. Neither she nor the rector was asked or told that they would be clearing peaceful protesters with force and smoke bombs or that one of their churches would be used as a prop. ** A truly sacrilegious use of the Bible to bless a brutal stunt. –Michael Gerson, GW Bush speechwriter

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Trump has asked CNN to apologize for a poll that claimed that Biden was winning. Fox had a similar poll so WTF?

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Oh no, I see that Loews gave 25 mil to help minority owned business’s while Home Depot gave 7 mil to Trump. I have my own issues with service at Loews in the past and good things to say about the Depot. Thus does make one think.

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White supremacists and racist terrorists pose a greater risk of violence. –FBI

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Judge Jed S. Rakoff has declared ICE’s policy of courthouse arrests to be illegal.

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He who is reluctant to recognize me opposes me. –Frantz Fanon

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ABC senior executive Barbara Fedida is on administrative leave after allegations of racial remarks and insensitive comments.

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Kristen Wiig and Ari Rothman had twins.

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The Hollywood walk of fame is adding Kelly Clarkson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Dom McLean, Zac Efron, Shia LaBeouf, Missy Elliott, Luciano Pavarotti and August Wilson.

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Holland Taylor and PBS have brought us Ann. The Tony nominated play is about Governor Ann Richards.

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North Korea has recently added enough material for 20 more nukes. While we are distracted, Kim Yo-Jung, Un’s sister had come front and center. She has said, it’s time “to break ties with South Korea.”

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Employees had told me that Costco samples were a thing of the past but it looks like they are coming back.

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A new book about Melania, which she calls fiction is here. There are many stories inside like how Ivanka calls her step mother, The portrait because she never smiles. ** A Trump niece, Mary L. Trump has also written a tell all. The courts have it held up at the moment. ** A judge denied an injunction to block Bolton’s book. Did he think he would be a savior because he says he is telling the truth NOW?

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A judge had to order Mnuchin to give $679 mil in emergency covid-19 relief funds to Native tribes.** Be aware- Covid tests are free but they sometimes test for flus first and they are not always covered. This happened to Katie Porter.

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“There isn’t a coronavirus second wave.”- Mike Pence. This is also a man who once wrote ,”smoking doesn’t kill.”

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Save the Merit System Protection Bureau!!  The backlog gets bigger and bigger and will cost the taxpayers more and more.

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The U.S. now faces allegations of human rights abuse because of treatment of protesters.** Private jet companies got $300 million in bailout $. What about small business?** Bullfighters in Spain have asked for Government help since they can’t kill their bulls.

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It is such a shame that George P. Bush (who I once thought could steer the Republican Party back) is solidly in the Trump camp. Yikes!!

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Doug Mills won the WH correspondents Association photo of the year for the Pelosi clap pic from the State of the Union.

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The ACLU has filed suit against Minnesota police for ‘targeting’ journalists.

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How can the black community dismantle a problem they did not create? – James Corden

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Mississippi voted to remove the confederate emblem from the state flag.

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I swear if I ever hear Stephen Colbert talk about his hair again, I will scream!! The rest of us need haircuts too.  I wish he would stop whining about it before he turns to the “dark times” of the day. But hugs for Colbert though for his Bolton interview. It is pretty sad when a comic minded talk show host digs deeper in an interview than the news pundits. The jack ass needs to be called out cuz his arguments are ridiculous.  ** Oh no, Since I wrote this, Seth Meyers has now bitched twice about his hair.** They are teaching the thoughts of Trevor Noah in classes now. And BTW when will we have more diverse late night hosts?

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Hooray for John Cusack, Elizabeth Warren, Madonna, Tammy Duckworth, Dick Durbin,  J.B. Pritzker and Mitt Romney for coming out to march. More of that!!

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There is word that an old sketch from David Cross and Bob Odenkirk is being pulled. I am not sure that what they were doing was understood. There are many shows taking out the blackface scenes such as Scrubs and 30 Rock.

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I just keep seeing the scene in my head from The Wall: “UP against the wall.”** It is simple, I always think, half of this country just has a completely different idea of what America is or should be than the other half.** And what kind of number did Trump’s parents and Roy Cohn do on him? He really has this thing about weakness.** Why was Trump allowed to visit a swab production plant without a mask? They had to throw away the days production. President does not mean ruler.** Trumpism is that state of having insane racist moron candidates running for offices that they’re completely unqualified for is alive and well. – Molly Jong-Fast

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Hurry up Fall so we can see The Trial of the Chicago 7 with Eddie Redmayne, Sasha Baron Cohen, Joseph Gordon- Levitt, Frank Langella, Jeremy Strong, John Carroll Lynch, Yahya Abdul- Mateen II, Mark Rylance and Michael Keaton.

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HBO Max has pulled Gone with the Wind and sales skyrocketed. Hattie McDaniel won an Oscar but was seated separately at the event. It is now back with a discussion.

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How many broken or new machines or outlets that don’t work do we have to put up with before we strictly go to PAPER ballots?? I get so tired of writing this. I am all for states running their elections but this is ridiculous. In the elections that I have worked, the only real problems were with machines!!!!!!!!!!

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Planet of the Humans was banned for a time it now it is back. Don’t they get that it only makes people want to see it more?

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The DOJ filed a civil action against Bolton to stop his book but it did not work,  It is chock full of info that would have come in handy months ago.** This whole administration is one big reality show, move in, move on and make $ out of it. They have no shame!

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No one is ever a victim, although your conquerors would have you believe in your own victimhood. How else could they conquer you? –Barbara Marciniak

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R.I.P. more Covid victims, Bonnie Pointer, Christo, Joanne Lara, Robert Fuller, Michael Daly, Rayshard Brooks, Victoria Sims, Oluwatoyin Salau, Sirlan Holm, Jean Kennedy Smith, Dame Vera Lynn,  Keith Blocker, Mary J. Wilson, Joel Schumacher, Steve Bing, Mexico city earthquake victims,  covid victims, Stuart Cornfeld, Lucius J. Barker and Carl Reiner.