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#he had it coming
steel-peach · 7 months
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vulto-cor-de-rosa · 4 months
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I just love it that Jonah Magnus spent all his life (more then 200 years) serving the Eye by creating an institute, hopping from body to body, and even by literally starting the Apocalypse, just for the Eye to see Jonathan Sims and make that sad victorian child the Ceaseless Watcher Special Little Boy™
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forgetful-nerd · 1 month
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The Turtles: *cutiely tramples the fuck out of you for shits and giggles*
I love it when they are dicks to their own villains
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crinolinedream · 2 months
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That escalated quickly…
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book-connoisseur · 26 days
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Listen, if my friend took a quart of ice cream out of my freezer to eat, but he couldn’t bother to get a bowl of it, so he just had an entire quart, and then fell asleep and it melted all over my chair and a nice little Oriental rug that came back from the dry cleaners in shreds. I too would push him off a cliff, just saying
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kneelingshadowsalome · 5 months
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I just think that satyr konig needs to be bullied for everything he's done!!!
YES! Nymphs can get very crafty if you piss them off!
Perhaps they lure him into this golden green glade and summon some vines to tie him between two tall trees... Tickle him until he has a raging boner and roars, whole body wrenching in the bonds, this mighty satyr is the one who's helpless now and the nymphs just giggle when he commands to let him go or else he'll breed them all. What a dumb faun, he's not in a position to threaten anyone!
And he's getting desperate: these fickle women are only wearing a few leaves over their bodies, a flower or two in their hair, some don't even have that much to cover their nakedness... He can feel their nipples grazing his skin, pretty little teeth bite him all over as they dance around him like he's some celebrated, captured beast. Someone whispers naughty things in his ear, while another one draws a fingertip down his thigh, they admire his muscles but refuse to touch his cock :(
They toy with him until he's leaking on the ground, and climb him like a tree, hot bodies pressing flush against his side, breasts tickling him and lithe arms hanging onto him as they have fun with their new plaything in the sun. The nymphs even make a wreath of flowers and place it upon his head, laughter and titter filling the entire dale as they admire their sulking, flower-crowned, hairy forest king :((
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Cody: So try explaining how you discovered The Chancellor died without context.
Fox: Old-ass evil wizard messed with space wizards with mind magic, baby daddy general and cueball chucked chairs and concrete while midget swamp troll shish kebabed the musty meatball with a pointy glowstick.
Cody: I'm sorry what?
Fox: That's how Thorn saw it. Palps was livid that I leaked private footage so he tried divorcing my head from my body several times.
Cody: [Remembering the time Fox hacked Ponds' datapad and spammed it with malware because he called him soft]
Cody: I believe you
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ladyblueberrymuffin · 2 months
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"Why do you not like show Sally? Do you not want her to be a complex, nuanced character with flaws?"
I'm sorry, was "she's the sweetest mom ever, a calm and down to Earth person, a little meek from years of abuse... oh, and she also killed her husband, and she enjoyed it immensely" not nuanced enough for you? Is murder not a character flaw?
I'm sorry, but Sally being this sweet angel, with a real darkness in her heart is the most amazing thing I can think of. It's relatable, really. I think most quiet types can relate, on the outside we seem like nothing moves us, but there is so much anger and sadness and fury we have to bottle up sometimes, especially in abusive environments.
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tabrisofmars · 1 year
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Xavier stalks over with Poly the Doll squirming in his hands. 
Enid: Oh Xavier, you found her! We were so worried. But why are you holding my puppy in air jail?
Xavier: This little delinquent almost killed me
Wednesday: How did my doll child perform such an act?
Xavier: She locked me in my art shed and set it on fire! Luckily I climbed out the window
Enid: Polly!
Wednesday: Yes, we are quite disappointed in you Polly.
Polly the Doll: Sorry Bird Mom
Xavier: B.. Bird mom?
Wednesday: Always make sure every exit is secure.
Xavier: WHAT
Enid: Uh huh. We don't half ass things in this family, young lady.
Xavier:
Xavier: I need to transfer out of this school.
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faustlyaccused · 1 year
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He had it coming.
A line from Cellblock Tango inspired this piece. I loved Mapleshades Vengeance. I would have loved more Maple in general. She had so much potential.
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lazarus-lazuli · 1 year
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AND THEN HE LOST THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE VOTE. HE LOST THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE VOTE 10 TIMES.
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contrael · 8 months
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— Need a collar~♡
— ...
— ...works for me!
First frame was inspired by Indulge me (please, give the author of that fic fully deserved kudos❤)
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starrynightsxo · 3 months
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me after I kick dirt into cardans food
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showsandshowtunes · 1 month
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*cell block tango voice* he ran into my knife, he ran into my knife 10 23 times!!!!
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yeonslayjun · 3 months
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FINALLY
Tami so this who u meant was gonna die... thank god
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Cody: Should I do that babysitting job again this summer?
Rex:
Rex: Cadets chased you... through the woods... with spears.
Cody: I can neither confirm nor deny this. Rex: Then what's with the stab wound? Cody: Occupational hazard. Rex: From babysitting cadets? Cody:... Maybe Rex: What did you do? Cody: Revoked pudding rights and holonet access. Rex: And now they're hunting you for sport. Cody: Mostly... Rex: Your Funeral.
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