Due to Danny's ghostly nature, he misunderstands a bit when his DOOMED buddy in Gotham complains about his little brother.
The guy is clearly just blowing off steam, talking about how can he trust the little demon when he'd literally been stabbed, thrown off a banister (danny was pretty sure he was gonna say something else), got Mufasa'd (dropped from the roof and barely managed to save himself), and talked shit like, constantly.
And Danny, with all of his ghost instincts only partially tucked away behind human skin, can't help but coo.
"Aww, he must really like you man."
"...He's tried to kill me."
"But not really? Dude, why aren't you picking up on this?"
"Picking up on what? That he wants to be an only child?"
"No, dude; that he wants to fight you. Like, in a learning way, with only a little bloodshed. Man you're bad with kids. Of course he's trying to stab you, he wants to play."
His friend pauses, the character he's playing stopping midfight.
"You...aren't human, are you?"
Fuck.
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Danny: Hey, I need you to be my boyfriend for a week.
Jason: What.
Danny: My parents are coming over and I've apparently accidentally talked about a partner more than once and only realized when they said they wanted to meet them.
Jason, currently still solidifying his power as a Crime Lord: Excuse me?
Danny: Let me get this out of the way, I do not consider you at all a person of romantical interest and a friend. But I need you to act as my partner for only a week until my parents go on their merry way over to my sister, okay?
Jason: Is there, quite literally, no one else to ask this?
Danny: You're my only friend who lives in Gotham, plus we share the same apartment.
Jason: That's almost sad.
Danny: You in?
Jason: Sure, why not.
===
Maddie: Danny, honey.
Danny: Yes mom?
Maddie: I don't mean to.... question, who you choose as your parent but. Well, me and your father was just wandering if he was a... [Maddie gestures with her hand] you know, one of those.
Danny, uncomprehendingly staring at his mother's hand: What.
Maddie: Oh dear, how do I bring this up. You know, one of those.
Danny: Mother I need more context.
Jack: If your boyfriend a crime lord!?
Maddie: Jack!
Jack: What? Beating around the bush wasn't helping!
Danny: Say WHAT?
===
Danny: Hey dude, thanks for helping with this even though you didn't need to!
Jason: No problem, I wasn't doing anything too [Crime Lord activities flash through his mind] important.
Danny: Can you believe my parents thought you were a crime lord though? Weird am I right?
Jason:
Danny: Jason. You are scaring me.
Jason: Haha, yea that's weird isn't it?
Danny: Jason.
Jason: Well, I have to leave now to attend to my totally real and totally not crime related job at the ice cream shop.
Danny: [Squints eyes]
Jason: [Internally sweating bullets]
Danny: Suuuuure, bring me back some ice cream though.
Jason: [Thumbs up and leaves]
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
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DPxDC Prompt: Who's Child Is This?
Inspired by an ICarly Clip.
"Mr. Wayne, we have your son here."
Bruce blinked, then checked the number on the phone. It was from the police station. He then looked around the table which had fallen silent when Alfred had brought him the phone.
Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke, and Damian were all accounted for. Even Jon was there so they couldn't have misidentified him as his kid.
"Which one?" Bruce chose to ask.
"Tim Drake."
Bruce looked at Tim specifically as he tilted his head confused. "Are you sure?"
"Oh yeah, Mr. Wayne, we know your boys by now."
"Right... alright, I'll be there in a couple of minutes. Can I ask on why Tim has been taken into custody?"
Tim tilted his head even further while some of the others around the table started chuckling.
"He was found trespassing near the new Axion Labs at the edge of the city. The owner chose not to press charges so we're sending him home in your custody."
"I see, I'll be there soon. Thank you for the call."
"Of course, Mr. Wayne, we'll see you soon."
Bruce ended the call then looked at his kids. "Apparently, Tim has been arrested for trespassing near the Axion Labs construction site."
"And you didn't even invite me?" Dick chuckled at Tim, "We could have had so much fun together."
Tim scrunched his nose at the idea. "No way, that whole area is an OSHA violation. If I went there it wouldn't be out of costume, whoever that kid is was risking his life just walking within a block of it."
"Well, I'm going to go down there and see what 'Tim' was thinking." Bruce got out of his seat, "I'll be back soon."
"New brother?" Cass asked as Damian growled.
"We're going to assume no for now, but we may have another for dinner depending on what's going on."
"I will prepare another seat while you are gone, Master Bruce."
"Thanks, Alfred. I'll be back soon."
-
When Bruce walked into the police station he immediately noticed 'Tim' sitting in front of one of the officers desks. It was a newer officer and it was clear that neither Detective Montoya or Commissioner Gordon were in or somebody would have noticed that this kid definitely wasn't Tim.
Yes, the kid had black hair which was on the shorter side but his hair fell in front of his face more than Tim would wear it, and his eyes were unnaturally blue. He was pale in an old hoodie, blue jeans, and red shoes. The biggest difference though was that this kid looked like he was only pushing 15, not 17. Yes, he looked quite a bit like Tim but anybody who had spent more than five minutes with Tim Drake would know they weren't the same person.
"Mr. Wayne." The officer called as Bruce walked over, looking at the kid.
He was thin and pale, which a tired look on his face. He also shrunk away from Bruce when he walked over.
Bruce knew what a kid in trouble looked like. So he smiled down at the kid. "You know, Tim, when I said you could go to the lab to do your science homework I didn't expect you to go all the way to Axion Labs."
The kid looked at him, surprised then seemed to quickly catch on. "What can I say, I had to see what terrible science looked like. Sorry for making you come down here."
"It's fine, but are you okay?"
"Y-yeah, totally." He said, his hand subconsciously moving to his ribs as though he was hurt.
"Alright then you are grounded."
"What?!" 'Tim' squeaked, "Come on-"
"Nope. You are ground... for... 'til... college."
"FOR 'TIL COLLEGE?!"
"For 'til college!"
The officer cleared his throat then held out a clipboard. "If you sign the red x's you can take your son and leave, Mr. Wayne."
Bruce took the papers, quickly looking over it and signing it. It was strange to see that all of the handwriting on the paperwork was adult writing. Had they even asked this kid his name? Once everything was signed he passed it back over to the officer who nodded.
"Looks good. Thanks Mr. Wayne and you stay out of trouble. The whole city knows your face. You're just lucky Mr. Masters didn't want to press charges."
"Yeah, so lucky." The kid rolled his eyes, then stood up and looked up at Bruce. "Can we go now?"
"Sure thing, chum. Come on." Bruce said, leading the kid out of the station and to the car. The kid seemed hesitant as he looked around, his eyes narrowing when they landed on a gentlemen with silver hair in a ponytail, only when the man smiled at 'Tim' did the kid speak up again.
"Come on, Dad, let's get out of here before the stalkers find us." He said, climbing in the front seat and closing the door, much to the annoyance of the silver haired man.
Bruce climbed in the front seat, buckling in and driving away from the station. "So... 'not Tim' what's your name?"
"Danny. Just Danny... sorry about all of that Mr. Wayne. That guy took one look at me and started calling me 'Tim' and when I tried to explain that I wasn't 'Tim' hey called me a liar. But if I gave them my real name then... somebody else was going to come collect me and I didn't want that. So... I let them call me Tim. I'm sorry, I hope it didn't put you out..."
"Not at all. But... are you okay? Why were you at Axion Labs?"
Danny seemed hesitant, "I... it sounds crazy."
"It's Gotham, kid. Crazy things happen all the time..."
"Right... well um... I-I was kidnapped from my home and taken to Axion Labs. I-I escaped and when I was trying to leave the grounds the police saw me and thought I was trespassing. Since the cops were I decided to play along with it..."
Bruce frowned, "Kidnapped? Is... is there somebody I can call?"
Danny shook his head. "I have an older sister who is probably going crazy looking for me but other than her and a couple of friends there wouldn't be anybody. My parents... they were kind of involved. They... they found out something about me and tried to hurt me, I ran to somebody I knew I couldn't trust because I thought maybe he would get his head out of his ass but I was just being an idiot." Danny hugged himself. "You can drop me off anywhere though, you don't have to bother yourself with me or my shit."
Bruce pulled to a stoplight and reached over to the kid who flinched, Bruce waited until he relaxed before Bruce patted his head. "I'm not going to just leave you on the street. Besides, it's late and by now my butler has already dished you some dinner. So at least for tonight you're welcome to stay with me and my kids. We'll get some food in your belly, make sure you're not wounded, let you call your sister, and find a way to get you home. Sound good?" He asked, moving his hand away.
Danny looked at Bruce, seeming a bit untrusting for a moment before he glanced at something near Bruce and relaxed. There was nothing with Bruce, he wasn't carrying anything, but whatever Danny was seeing was enough to put his mind at ease. "Okay... but if anybody tries anything be warned, I bite."
Bruce chuckled, "So do most of the others. You'll fit right in."
'But just what the hell is going on with this kid? Does it have anything to do with that man outside the police station? I've got to get to the bottom of this before this kid leaves, especially if he's still a target.'
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