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ghostfacd · 5 months

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IN A WORLD FULL OF BOYS, HE’S A GENTLEMAN ! | TOM BLYTH

PAIRING. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader

SUMMARY. despite being in a world filled of childish boys, your boyfriend was definitely a gentleman, always putting you before him

AUTHORS NOTE. the third installment because we love tom blyth and yn avocot. I recommend reading part 1 and 2 for more context!

tomblyth “babe, do you think we’re together in every universe?” is that even a question?

tagged @/ynuser

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ynuser stoppp i didn’t know youd actually take the question seriously

user1 get you a man like tom blyth bc oh my god

user2 idk what yn did to manifest him but i need her ways

user3 ugh idk what he’s doing with her lol he could do so much better

➥ user4 well someone had to say it..

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You didn’t understand how some people on the internet can be so . . . mean. Although there have been countless of fans cheering you and Tom on, it didn’t make it any less hurtful that there were still a ton who weren’t scared to be open about how much your boyfriend could do better.

It’s ironic; you think. They’re claiming they’re looking out for Tom, yet totally disregarding him and his girlfriend as human beings? Those weren’t real fans.

The reason for them hating you so much? Just for simply being with Tom. Everybody wanted him, that was your crime.

Everytime you got lost in your thoughts about this topic, Tom knew. Boyfriend instincts, he called them, but really, he was just a caring and observant person.

You tried not to break down over it, you really did, but a girl could only go on for so long before it all bursts out. Luckily, Tom pulls you right in, telling you to let it all out.

Although the world was filled with childish and hurtful beings, Tom Blyth was still who he was, a gentleman, attending to your every needs.

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tomblyth really dgaf if you like my girlfriend or not cause i do and that’s all that matters

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user5 im cryinf the polaroid he has of her

user6 YES REAL MEN STAND UP FOR THEIR GFS

user7 ALL THE PICS HE HAS OF HER 🥹🥹

tomblythswife oh to be yn avocot and be loved by tom blyth

rachelzegler tell ‘em 🙊

user8 she doesn’t even comment on the posts he makes abt her, so self centered lol

➥ ynuser I’m right next to him rn?? cant say the same thing about you “lol”

➥ user9 OH SHE ATE YOU UP @/user8

tomblyth_daily here are some clips of tom talking about his relationship in his new interview! GET YOU A MAN THATS LIKE TOM BLYTH 🗣️🗣️🗣️

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user10 the way he’s so passionate when talking about her and being a good boyfriend, God I hate being single

user11 “they’re not even that cute” STFU AND GO WATCH THIS INTERVIEW CAUSE ??

user12 tom blyth said put aside your nonchalant attitudes, im looking at YOU MEN 🫵🫵

ilovetomblyth he’s so boyfriend it actually hurts

user13 yn must’ve saved a continent in her past life to be dating tom blyth omg

ynuser girls, before you have a meltdown over a boy: think of what balleona laurent would do. kiss and manipulate coriolanus!

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tomblyth you kiss and manipulate me too

➥ ynuser you’re gonna get me CANCELLED

user14 literal unbothered icon i love her

user15 if i were her id post a tiktok with that audio “he chose me he don’t want you”

iloveyn SHES SO FUNNY

lionsgate us when behind the scenes photo of balleona 😻

➥ user16 lmao stop who’s the admin of lionsgate

user17 balleona is such a bad person but oh is she hot

tomblyth she was like a shot of espresso

tagged @/ynuser

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ynuser i love u more than words can describe blyth

user18 ok who’s cutting onions

user19 GIRLS, GUYS, THEY THEMS, STOP SETTLING FOR BARE MINIMUM WHEN TOM BLYTH LITERALLY CALLED HIS GF A SHOT OF ESPRESSO, GIVES HER FLOWERS EVERYDAY, AND TALKS ABT HER ALL THE TIME IN HIS INTERVIEWS

➥ user20 YELL IT HARDER SISTER 👐👐👐

user21 this is so dark academica im inlove with u guys

user22 parentssss

rachelzegler my favorites

ynuser SNOW LANDS ON TOP LOSERS

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tomblyth yn, i love you but

➥ user23 LMFAOO when he doesn’t finish his sentence

user24 the second pic thank u yn

joshandresrivera on top of u maybe

➥ user25 IM DYING OML

user26 thank you to lionsgate for casting the most hottest villain couple ever

#coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus snow fluff #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus snow angst #coriolanus snow fic #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games

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evilminji · 8 months

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Okay... so it COULD be because, as a writer, I'm an ASSHOLE to my Characters...

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE FUNNY?

Danny, innocent, gets YEETED into DC. As ya do. And he's a bit messed up. But! He's a Baby Ancient in the making. Gonna be master of Spaaaaaace(~~~☆!) one day. Very exciting, only slightly relevant.

See, Ectoplasm? Dumb. That's why we need Cores and Brains etc. Never let Ectoplasm decide things. It WILL chose the "technically correct but now the buildings on fire" option EVERY SINGLE TIME. And you are running out of fire extinguishers.

Because it is dumb.

Very, VERY No Brain, Just Goo, Dumb.

And THIS Goo has a life to save. A Halfa too maintain in Peak Performance(tm). Because THIS Goo is VERY smart Goo(according only to itself) and TOTALLY knows what it's doing! Damaged meat bits? Oh that's EASY! You just FIX that! Replace with meat bits! See? It's BRILLIANT Goo. 10 out of 10 stars, me!

Small problem.

The instructions have been damaged.

PANIC.

Wait! No! We got this! We are Very Smart Goo(tm). And have Space Powers. This is FINE. We'll... we'll just FIX the instructions! Hand me a hammer! If we smash enough bits together, it'll sort? Of look right? Close ENOUGH? Yeeeeeah. We're GENIUS Goo~

Use THAT!

But where did they GET their ill begotten DNA? Well OBVIOUSLY the place all the OTHER DNA they had was stored, DUH? Keep up, says the Goo with literally no braincells making horrifying choices for an unconscious man. It's Earth.

As in... the planet.

It's not even HIS planet. It's AN Earth. A Planet CALLED "Earth" that dwells in the DC universe, not his, and is covered with ZERO(0) Fentons but plenty of superhumans and aliens. THAT planet.

The Goo grabbed the Very BESTEST Meat Instructions it could FIND! The Goo is also a collective and did not AGREE on what the "Best" WAS. But it's... okay, no, I can't lie to you, it is NOT fine.

But thankfully it IS stable.

Because Ectoplasm may be dumb and indiscriminate as super-bacteria with a flamethrower, but it is a MASTER at the jigsaw of Life. It can reanimate ANYTHING.

Including the now SINGLE MOST CHIMERAD MAN you've ever SEEN. Who is he related too? YES. His left knee is Kryptonian, the fingers on his right hand are Tameranian, his skin tone has shifted to the most ambiguously multi-ethnic tone imaginable (think that future of humanity mock up, where they combine every ethnicity on the premise that inter-racial marriage will becoming increasingly common up to the point where we all just kinda look averaged out thanks to the ease of travel) because it's trying to do all of them at once and none of them are willing to back down, because all of them got the instructions "Be Skin". He might have Slade Wilson's cheek bones and hair.

Danny wakes up and basicly is half Ectoplasmic Goo, half the extended Super Community.

AND CANT GET BACK HOME TO FIX IT.

Because of course this IS fixable. It's just medical shape-shifting. But without HIS template, undamaged. His body is REFUSING to change from what is OBVIOUSLY the CORRECT form. And he keeps getting clocked as "probably related to me".

With the Fenton Luck kicking in? The parts of him people manage to swab and/or get DNA from? Keep MATCHING them. Danny doesn't know WHO is behind this but-! *spots a giggle child with a cat* !!!!!!

You.

Klarion you little SHIT!

So now he's wearing a face that's BARELY his, running from very determined superhumans who want to parent him, trying to steal enough technology to build a portal. AND vowing to kick the witch boy's ASS.

This ISNT FUNNY, KLARION.

His body is Frankenstein's FEVER DREAM! Every time he gets hurt, it tries to "FIX" itself! He lost a chunk of his should back there and HIS ENTIRE BODY CHANGED SKIN TONES. He's pretty sure if he SITS funny, his teeth might fall out and regrow POINTY! He's handing you over to WALKER you horrible little gremlin child!

Just? Take the "Danny is related to X" and "Danny is sick" and turn them uuuuup. Make EVERYBODY concerned except Danny. This is just another fucked up adventure in a long string of fucked up adventures. Give him his DNA back. If he has to suffer the Fenton Luck then he should AT LEAST get to keep the Fenton "built like a tank"!

*gets hit again*

*is GREEN now for some reason* The fuck?

Garfield, aka Beast Boy: I HAVE A CLONE SON!?

Danny: Zone DAMN IT not another one!

@ailithnight @hdgnj @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter

#tw body horror #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #danny phantom #never let the Goo drive #chimera au #Danny looks A BIT like everyone #just enough to be suspicious #chaos happens and klarion laughs

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thursdayg1rl · 2 years

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every day I mourn the fact that I cant do physics a level

#kind of annoying that you cant do all sciences along w maths and further maths 🧍🏽‍♀️ i know it would be way too much but still #what gets on my nerves is when people are like 'haha dont worry universities dont care' you think I give a shit what unis think.#what happened to learning for learnings sake like honestly..#I just want to learn abt the silly little particles that's it #whatever maybe I dodged a bullet I do hate teenage boys who think theyre the next like feynman or smth bcz they read his stupid book once #its so annoying...#for example before one exam a teacher was talking to this guy and saying 'you should do a level' while I was right there #and i've beaten him in every single physics test! in the bpho physics challenge I got silver and he got bronze!#and like no one has ever even said that to me. so lets think abt it #and this mf has made 'being good at physics' his once personality trait bitch based on what?? am i going crazy #yeah im full of bitterness abt this and i wont stop talking abt it.#im going to have a shower now bcz i realised i literally forgot yesterday lmao . justdepressionthings

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loving-family-poll · 4 months

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Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 2

Propaganda under the cut:

Hikaru/Kaoru:

notable for actually leaning into the incest thing because twincest was their entire schtick while working at the host club

the twincest ship that defined a generation. taking the bait seems obvious when their performance gimmick for club guests is to fawn over each other and play up the affection tenfold, but it just gets better when you learn that for most of their lives they didnt have other friends and really only had each other until joining becoming members of the host club. so on top of being willing to flirt in public for attention, they're also codependent as hell <333

They're twins. They sleep in the same bed. They pretend to be in forbidden love to bait fujoshis but are maybe also in forbidden love for real. They were in high school before they met a single person who could tell them apart. They were devastating to my middle school psyche

Rick/Morty:

INCEST ICONS!! They've somehow got a MAJORITY of their fans on one of the most popular shows on TV to root for a guy who is CLEARLY sexually abusing his grandson ~subtextually~, but also sometimes ON SCREEN, and it's hilarious and fucked up, and Morty would kill anyone who tried to take his grandpa away <3

they're codependent in so many universes, they've gotta be fucking in a few

They get married!!!!! It's right there!! I wish I had more coherent thoughts about them but just. They. It's awful. It's abusive. It's twisted and cruel. It's a comedy duo. It's the best thing either have going for them. Rick will never fully respect Morty. Morty will never fully respect Rick. I want them to run away together. They're Something

the power dynamic is crazy! Morty's deeply lonely at the start and his grandfather takes advantage of that, rick pulls the kid out of bed, out of school, whenever he wants and gets him to do whatever he wants, covers up their activities, threatens and endangers and inflicts pain upon morty with intent and cruelty. he shapes morty according to his needs, the entire show is about the space adventures of an old man and his 14 year old grandson and you just gotta wonder, isn't it fucked up that this guy's sidekick and best friend and life partner is a kid? and it is!

Since morty is traumatized on the daily rick sometimes takes his memories, he controls what morty can remember (and therefore who he gets to be), the memory gun is just sci-fi gaslighting i say. and there's transdimensional travel and at one point it's revealed that ricks from different dimensions work together to "breed" mortys, ensure they're born (clone a bunch of them too) because a morty by nature is loyal and forgiving and makes the perfect partner that's easy to manipulate, easy to use. i will forever think of the "bred for forgiveness" line as perverted horrifying incest bait<3

Also one time they were hosts for alien parasites and they fell in love and made out and in the Very First episode rick gets morty to stick giant seeds (that rick needs for an experiment or smth) up his ass to smuggle them through security. they had some kind of dragon soul bond orgasm together. my point is it's borderline incestuous abuse and it's crazy that they imply these characters are tied together cosmically.. if they are it's rick holding their red string of fate like a leash

they are together (sometimes romantically/sexually, sometimes not explicitly so) in EVERY universe there is canonically a club on the citadel called The Creepy Morty. Miami Morty has an R tattooed on his asscheek they love each other they hate each other they cant stand being together they cannot be separated Rick loves grooming Morty. like. he has literally pushed Morty into comitting genocides and conditioned him into becoming desensitized to all kinds of sexual and violent things. Rick keeps a memory vial of Morty's entitled "virginity" Rick C137 (the main one in the show) has sacrificed his life to save Morty

#tumblr polls #tournament polls #incest poll #hikaru/kaoru #ouran high school host club #rick/morty #rick and morty #incest tw #round 2

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

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"Oh my gosh do you sound like a sim to them??"

Me trying to place myself in their shoes:

"Why the fuck do I sound like a villager in Animal Crossing-- ARE THEY HEARING ANIMALESE WHEN I SPEAK?!"

(A.k.a I saw the previous ask and thought wait a minute. Two different worlds. Languages so similar but so different....... We're basically speaking animalese in another game/world lmfao)

(Bonus: Creator!Reader knows this and takes full advantage as their payback. Traveller magically understands and speaks back causing further pyschic confusion. Pretty sure soke brains have been melted among linguistic students in Sumeru)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM MY BELOVED IM SO LATE TO ATTEND TO YOU!! :'(

It has been a minute and yet, you remain my love!! Thank you for your patience, have a little scenario as my thanks for that and submitting the cool idea <3

Me @ you: ♥ ( ॢᵕ n ᵕ (꒡ᵋ ꒡ღ) mwah! /p

this gif is just really cute thats why its here.

also i have very little to add so its short but only bc im ✨uncreative✨ atm and ur ask alone is funny enough lmao, so once again, a scenario bc vine booms just a genius all on their own ✨️

◇

😭so you mean 😭 as revenge 😭 for this awful deed 😭 done to your speech 😭 you just start EMBRACING IT 😭😭😭PLEAASEEE-

PLEASE the traveler understands it!! 💀

Also if anyone reads this im so sorry ive flooded the sagau tag with language shenanigans LMAO

◇

Ever since you realized that the entirety of Teyvat sounds like Sims to you, (and the subsequent awful reckoning that you sound the same to them 😭)

You have finally mentally recovered enough courage, and desperately shoved any embarrassment deep into your soul, to try and think of what to do about it

♤

You quickly found that people had 3 types of reactions to your speech,

1. They try to understand the nonsense like you trying to understand their Simlish, it really doesnt work, you wish you could tell them to give up and just gesture at you instead:

(ALHAITHAM he keeps trying then giving up then trying again lol, Diluc, ZHONGLI, Sara, Albedo, Candace, Dehya she thinks she’s gonna get it THIS time she swears-, Eula, Gorou, GANYU she feels bad lmao, Jean, AYAKA, keqing, kuki, Nahida, ningguang, AETHER, Thoma, xinyan, XIAO)

◇

2. They act like you when you hear animal crossing characters speak 💀 you can see the “omg so cute” sparkle in their eyes:

(KAZUHA, kokomi, barbara, KAEYA, ZHONGLI again lol he tries to hide it but you can see the tiny smile everytime you walk over and start ranting at him bc ur bored, Faruzan, GOROU, AYATO, YAE MIKO, keqing, LISA, mika, mona, KLEE literally loves you and you can tell shes always trying to get you to say something lol, Ei (archon), Rosaria she always SMIRKS and ur just- 😳, CHILDE the little shit giggles at ur misery, LUMINE AND AETHER U CANT TRUST EITHER OF THEM- , THOMA, SCARAMOUCHE BUT HE’D NEVER ADMIT IT BUT HE ALWAYS IS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO HIDE A TINY SMILE AND GOES A LITTLE PINK-!! SAME FOR XIAO LMAO)

◇

3. You know that tiktok audio thats like Isabella from Animal Crossing singing, and then someone’s like “uh-huh! YEAH! OKAY!!” yeah like that, but to you LMAO

(ITTO, Bennett, KAVEH, heizou, VENTI, Nilou she like nods after everything you say and makes sure you’re treated well in every conversation aw, qiqi, KLEE, Raiden (puppet) + Ei (archon), SHENHE no explanation needed, CYNO too, LUMINE, YELAN, yoimiya, yunjin)

♧

Alright i got tired sorry not everybody’s there lol^

So no matter the reaction, they all are a little bummed nobody can get you,

…but then of. Fucking. Course.

LUMINE/AETHER as ALWAYS get SPECIAL TREATMENT

(there’s not a single person throughout all the nations, the archons, the allogenes, doesnt matter, who hasn’t felt a LITTLE pang of envy for this- bc as cute as you sound, goddamit they USED to understand you when you weren’t physically here, before you overcame the Universal Barrier AKA the computer screen lol)

AND THEY GET TO UNDERSTAND YOU.

The Sumeru linguistics department is grinding their teeth, Alhaitham straight up glares every time they translate for you lmao, Zhongli’s eye twitches at least once everytime they do so, Kazuha is literally trying to bribe them with cool places he’s seen that the traveler hasn’t so they’ll share the secret of how to understand you, Ningguang gets 10x chillier when they’re helping convos w/ you, Ei looks like she’s fucking pouting-

☆

Aether is just like 🤨?? For what?? I’m helping???

So confused he never gets what’s going on lol

✨

Lumine, on the other hand, is FULLY aware and smirks every time she’s so smug about it LMAO

^ the embodiment of the cat surrounded by knives meme ^

☆

Ahhhh my exhibition is April 6th u guys!

May I finally rest in peace when that day comes 🪦

Cant wait to graduate and just have a regular job and not academia + deadlines 😭😫

Hope you guys have had a nice week or two!

Look out for more posts after the 6th :>

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

Short one but hope its fun my beloved!! :)

#so cursed #take ur revenge yes vine boom the way u think #everytime i think a little too hard abt ur anon name i giggle bc its from the blunt lang au lmao #my askers big brains>>> anything i post #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #my asks #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #genshin isekai #genshin sagau ideas #genshin god reader #genshin impact sagau #genshin x reader #genshin reader insert #god i never remember all the tags i need to put dammit

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wangxianficfinder · 6 months

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Fic Finder

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1. Looking for a smut fic I remember reading. WWX was testing an invisibility talisman and ended up in the jingshi in time to watch LWJ masturbating, and rode him after he fell asleep. LWJ woke up and made WWX get rid of the invisibility after a bit. I think it was a roleplay between the two but I'm not fully sure

FOUND! Clinomania by malkinmalkout (E, 6k, wangxian, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Somnophilia, misuse of talismans, PWP, Riding, Oral Sex, binding, Happy Ending, canon typical non-con)

~*~

2. Hi! So I'm looking for this one fic, I remember that it was set in post-canon & Wangxian go to help this village, I remember that the Juniors (all four) followed them without their knowledge & the village had a barrier preventing people from leaving, the village had a curse where they got to see their close-ones negative memories, the juniors learnt of what actually happened to WWX & the villain turns out to be a "god" like on Dafan, it had 4 chapter (I think) & was finished. @i-like-snakes-and-spiders

FOUND? Down comes the night by danegen (E, 67k, wangxian, Alternate Universe, Canon Era, inspired by From, Horror, Sharing a Room, POV LWJ, no jiangs, a whole village of OCs, tiny mention of past wwx/omc, Happy Ending)

FOUND? unhappy stories with happy endings by Last_for_Hell (M, 30k, WangXian, Memories, Memory Fic, Kinda, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, sexual content maybe, References to Torture, PTSD, Characters Watching Their Series, kinda, but not entirely, very light consensual non-consent)

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3. good day! 😊 I read this fic before and I know that I've bookmarked it but I can't find it in the list. So the story is after wwx fell, baoshan sanren and lan yi rescued him, nursed him back to health, and waited for him to wake up. I remember that when he woke up, they also taught him cultivation (he got a new sword). He also hid his face (i think he also wore a different name and different voice(?)). There's a yi city scene where xxc asked them who they were because he cant see, then bssr is also with them at that time. thank yoooooou! 💓💓💓

FOUND! Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, war changes people, resulting to OOC, no pinning, Established Relationship, Mpreg, Good Uncle LQR, a little grey LWJ, a bit of JC bashing from LWJ, BAMF JYL, 16 years of yearning, mainly CQL verse but has scenes from the novel as well, LSZ is WangXian's Child, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Canon Rewrite, Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts)

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4. hi, I hope you can help me find this fic I've been looking for, I'm sorry I don't really remember much, just that WWX can cook non-spicy food but he does it on purpose, it might have been because of his time in the streets? or because someone would take his food? (maybe JC???)

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5. I cannot for the life of me remember anything else about the fic but I think it was cql based with lwj as chief cultivator? wwx returned to cloud recesses and the first thing he did was beat someone up for saying horrible things about lwj. I can't remember if it was multichapter or not so it might have been in the middle of a longfic?

FOUND? 🔒make this chaos count by devotedbones (E, 15k, WangXian, Post-Canon, CQL Compliant, canon compliant until the very last scene of episode 50, Getting Together, First Time, First Kiss, Hand Jobs, Chief Cultivator LWJ, a flute used as a melee weapon, Fist Fights, Gossip, Self-Worth Issues, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Mentions of Canonical Abuse, Minor Misunderstandings, [podfic] make this chaos count, by devotedbones by inkpens)

~*~

6. this may as well be an itmf for its general nature, but it's actually a ficfinder! except. i only remember a single detail LMAO, and it's that wwx and lwj consider all four juniors to be their children, blood relation be damned. I'm so sorry i have literally nothing else to go on 😅 i think there's a similar theme in 'tragedy is not the end' specifically with zizhen, but not the exact detail im looking for... thank you for the help!

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7. Hi, first of all I want to thank y'all for the hard work, and I wanted to know if a fic has been deleted or if anyone has it, I don't remember the name but it was a time travel fic where Qishan Wen win the sunshot campaign and asked for war prizes (?) Zewu-Jun goes instead of his brother, Yanli is alive, they all have them captive, Meng Yao betrayed them and ultimately sided with the Wen's who were winning the war, and I think no one remembers Wei Wuxian, something like that, it would be great if someone could help! Thanks so much 🩷🩷

FOUND? The Way It Wasn’t by KouriArashi (T, 72k, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, (eventually haha), Slow Build, Family Feels, Moral Ambiguity, Eventual Happy Ending)

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8. Hi!!! Its me again!! Thanknyiu so much again!!! This time im looking for a time travel fic with lan qiren as the timentraveller. Pretty sure him and wen ruohan travelled together and MAYBE involved with each other??? Im not so sure but i do know that lan qiren time travelled. Sorry its not much thats all i remember hehe @sirius-bus1ness

might be one of Nirejseki's works. They wrote several on that subject (including in a big anthology work, so finding it might take some time)

FOUND? Cursed Couple by shorimochi (M, 121k, LQR/WRH, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Out of Character)

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9. Hello, I am looking for a fic but I only remember a scene from it

It was a fic wwhere wwx died and there was a scene where a-yuan was crying while laying above wwx's grave in the burial mounds. Thank you!

FOUND? To Offer a Heart by WhiteCrane (M, 111k, wangxian, major character death, Sad WWX, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, soft wangxian, Cinnamon Roll WN, WWX Whump, WQ is a good sister, WN is a good brother, everybody loves wwx, yunmeng siblings, Triggers, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Taking care of WWX, Give WWX a break, Canon Divergence, Disturbing Themes, Changing Perspectives, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Grief/Mourning, Temporary Character Death, Getting Together, Redemption, Sibling Bonding, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brother-Sister Relationships, Parent-Child Relationship, Sad and Sweet, Tragedy, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF JYL, BAMF WQ, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Everyone Needs A Hug, WIP)

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10. Hi Mods (＾◡＾) I really hope that you can help me find some fics I've been looking for! (＾◡＾) if you can't that's ok, if you can then many thanks in advance! y'all are awesome!

A) this one is set during CR studies, and wangxian go on a date? in Caiyi and I think WWX gets emotional about something they are talking about? and I know they hug, and WWX don't want to let go.

B) this one wangxian gets married, WWX marries into the Lan, and there are a lot of rules specifically for married people/how to be in a relationship, I'm pretty sure that is a very big part of the story

10A)

FOUND! 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 712k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) The scene described sounds like something that happens pretty early on

10B)

NOT FOUND! Into the Oubliette by Ruixx (M, 124k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, graphic depictions of violence, underage, Growing Up, Fix-It of Sorts, Arranged Marriage, Time Travel, Sibling Bonding, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Canon Divergence, Light BDSM, Breathplay, WWX protection squad, Sunshot Campaign, War, Politics, Hostage JYL, Visions, LXC Redemption, general LWJ, Internal Sect Politics, Good Uncle LQR, Lan OCs, No Golden Core Transfer, Empire Building, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence)

NOT FOUND! seldom all they seem by Fahye (E, 25k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, or rather Arranged Betrothal, followed by Weapons-Grade Thirst)

FOUND? Wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave by failedcharismacheck (M, 15k, WIP, WangXian, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Protective LWJ, Domestic Fluff, Kissing, POV LWJ, Hair Brushing, Implied Sexual Content, soft horny)

~*~

11. Noncon tw. Looking for a fic where when the wens burn lotus pier, they threaten to rape yanli but Wei Wuxian offers himself instead. So the wen soldiers rape Wei Wuxian in front of the Jiang sect,l. Yanli cries

~*~

12. Looking for a specific fix where Wei Ying is dead and the sects come together to watch through his memories and end up finding out for selfless he was. @aviidaviibiitchboii

FOUND! Misunderstood by Silver_Flame_2724 (M, 250k, WIP, WangXian, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Heavy Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Worth Issues)

~*~

13. Hi, I'm looking for a modern au where Wei Ying is a grad student in an orchestra and A-yuan is dropped off at his door by his cousin Mo Xuanyu. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan get together while caring for A-yuan and end up getting married. A-yuan has a fear of airports in this fic because of his abandonment issues. This was on AO3 but I can't seem to find it. @amindonbreak

FOUND! The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental baby acquisition, Kid fic, Green card marriage (but not really), Slow Burn, Endless Pining, Happy ending, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer, Translation into Русский: Самый Простой Путь Вперёд (The Simplest Way Forward) by grand_R, Spanish Translation, Turkish translation )

~*~

14. hello! im looking for specific fic, where after burial mounds wwx thinks he's dead. instead of joining sunshot campain he storms nightless city and kills all cultivators without anyone knowing it was him (exept meng yao who survived but is wounded)

he then "haunts" yumeng for a while until he runs into wen quing and takes wens to burrial mounds

eventually ppl find out and together with meng yao they outsmart jgs to pardon all wens @chellsky

I can't find 14, but I do remember reading it; they ended up pretending Wen Qing was the one controling the dead and killing the Wen, and they faked her death

FOUND! can't find a way home by KouriArashi (M, 109k, WangXian, XiYao, XuanLi, ChengQing, Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Family Feels, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Developing Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical political bullshit, Mental Health Issues, Eventual Happy Ending, Descriptions of suicide, (caused by dark magic))

~*~

15. Hello! I'm looking for a fic where Sizhui's bio parents are alive and come to Cloud Recesses looking for him (post-canon, iirc)

Hello! I'm #15 from the latest fic finder. I'm quite sure that the fic was on ao3. It may have been inspired from the angstymdzsthoughts posts but it was a proper fic posted on ao3

NOT FOUND! This Post by angstymdzsthoughts Mad idea, could 15 be from angstymdzsthoughts?

~*~

16. Hi! I was reading a really interesting story about LWJ being cursed and WWX helping him and I lost it! Arg, now I'm so curious to know how it ends, I hope you can help me!

The story is about LWJ being cursed with a change in his private body parts. (The curse changes his p to a v). Then WWX notices this and decide to help LWJ and the way to revert the curse is that LWJ has to have an org@sm.

Can you help me? I'm dying to know how to continues!! 🤗🤗 @wangxiansgirl

FOUND! Coming Back to Yourself by acernor (E, 21k, wangxian, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Oral Sex, Pining, Gender or Sex Swap, Vaginal Sex)

~*~

17. Hi! Looking for a fic wherein wangxian married and suddenly Mo Xuanyu woke up again in his body, he fell in love with Lan Wangji but Lan Wangji just ignore or formal with him. Mo Xuanyu heartbroken tried to bring back Wei Wuxian Soul on his body

I feel like this might be in the angstymdzs collection, since I think it's was inspired by one of those asks?

~*~

18. Kind of random, but I’m trying to find a fic I read awhile ago that featured hagfish? My memory of it is kind of vague, it was a college au and wwx was some sort of biology major i think and there were hagfish. Compelled to read it again because of hagfish reasons.

~*~

19. Hello! I'm looking for a specific fic which I've seen in a few people's bookmarks but for some reason neglected to even mark for later. It's a modern AU where LWJ is looking for a pet sitter for his bunnies and is recommended WWX's pet sitting/walking venture (no dogs allowed ofc). Can you help? 🐇 @linderel

FOUND! A Single Note by airinshaw (E, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Kissing, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Light Dom/sub)

~*~

20. I search a fic where Jiang Cheng tries to ask Lan Xichen to marry him and Lan Xichen is super offended by it. Nie Huaisang may have done something to make JC fail even more in his proposal.

FOUND? To Take A Wife- Or Perhaps A Husband by Admiranda (T, 2k, one-sided LXC/JC, one-sided NHS/JC, JC's canonical homophobia, JC's canonical inability to get married, Decides to solve his problems with spite, not JC friendly, We all love NHS in this household, JC's canonical blind spots, Post-Canon, JC's canonical classism)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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thesunfyre4446 · 10 days

Note

Yo. New to the HoTD discourse. I hope you don't mind me rant dumping on your blog. I'm a bit scatterbrained so I hope I lay out my feelings about these things clearly. I have finally watched HoTD and ....

Listen, I could have liked Rhaenyra well enough, in fact I didn't really mind her in the beginning. But it really all changed once I saw what the audience were saying. How the majority seems to have no sympathy for Allicent at all.

I thought we all understood that no character in Westeros is really all that great?? So I really cant understand the vile hatred spewed towards her? It feels like they even hate her more than anyone ever hated Joffrey or Cersei. People were rightfully angry with the show runners decision to have Jaime r*** her in that one scene. People were capable of feeling empathy for Cersei despite how despicable she is. But there's SOOO much victim blaming for Alicent. It drives me fucking nuts. And to show sympathy for her would have people dogging on you.

I really cannot believe my eyes when I see people thinking she willingly seduced that rotten walking corpse.

I was so naive to think people would understand where her character is coming from. She is utterly powerless. She doesn't have a king for a father to pardon every mistake she makes. She's suffocating and it makes sense for her to hate Rhaenyra who has more privilege than any woman who ever lived in that world, and yet still step over every single rule while expecting everyone else to just live with the consequences of her actions. We're supposed to like her??

I GET that the point of it all is that monarchy is just a shitty way to run a kingdom. I GET that Rhaenyra being a terrible ruler is the point. Man or woman it never mattered.

What I don't get is people thinking she's some feminist figurehead?? She behaves as a man does in that universe, entitled and unfit for what they feel entitled to. I get that that's the point, but that doesn't mean she's for the women at all. Like any man, she's out for herself. Why would I like her if she behaves as any corrupt man in that world would, when the only difference is she doesn't have a dick? And I wouldn't necessarily mind that? I don't watch HoTD or GoT for perfect characters. But if only the audience didn't treat her like some sort of hero and Alicent the pure villain.

I never felt frustrated with GoT discourse. Why the fuck does it seem like HoTD has bred this extremely toxic environment? You can't seem to have a different opinion unless your mouths dick sucking on Team Black.

Dany, just as entitled as she was, she was still able to do as duty demanded. Rhaenyra is a just a spoiled child all the way through. The hatred for Alicent and the inability for people to see Rhaenyra for what she is, has me thinking people have really missed the fucking point about what feminism actually is. And once again, I didnt watch HoTD for feminism. But the audience seems to think Rhaenyra is a beacon for it. Wether intentional or not, ideas take on a life of its own and you cannot divorce these fan-imposed ideas from the show anymore. That's really the part of all this that pisses me off.

I'm TG now not because I condone everything they've ever done. Literally everyone fucking sucks. I'm TG because I understand everyone fucking sucks. And I dislike being tube fed by the biased writers on what to think and feel.

anon, not a single lie was told.

people hate on alicent for displaying human emotions. it's insane. it's always "rhaenyra will turn westeros into barbieland" until someone brings out the fact that she has no intention of helping any other woman other then herself and then it's all "well, we shouldn't judge her from a modern day pov"..

"I'm TG because I understand everyone fucking sucks" this!! also, they have better characters lol

#hotd #house of the dragon #anon ask #anti rhaenyra targaryen #anti team black stans #anti rhaenyra stans

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nemzd · 29 days

Text

Purification and Order in a plave no diffrent then hell~

Part 02/??

(Think I be continueing the story nonethenless, idea is just to good to be thrown away)

... You were shocked,.. The Angel of Light himself.. Archangel Micheal... but.. he doesnt look really as mighty as many have said.

You:..But I am not dead... why am I in heaven now? I mean I wouldnt mind dying soon and met the Lord, just that a Angel? .. Took me by firstly hitting me unconcious I thought that was suposses to be diffrent..

Micheal just looked at you.. with his wings behind him and a cold glare on you... he then spoke..

Micheal:...Mortal.. are you in the knowledge of the current situation that we all find ourselves in?..

...

You:...No? I mean I regualry pray to God to stay up to day and keep myself in touch-

Micheal: Mortal, God has left heaven.

...

You just looked at him and were like.. what? How, this aint possible. God cant just disappear out of nowhere.You then spoke..

You:I.. disagree, who have I been talking to then in my prayers? I feel his presence... and I keep myself in touch with him every single day.

Micheal just continue to glare at you... but suddenly took his sword and tried to hit you with it... but you were once again protected by a blinding light..

Micheal:....How.. How is the creator of the universe with you?! I can cleary feel the power of God, going through your body.. it cant be but it has to be.. the Holy Spirit...

He fell down on his knees.. with his black hair and began to softly cry. You were astounished at the sight before you... I mean how couldnt you?.. The literal Archangel Micheal was crying before you! And told you that God left heaven... but.. you were so confused.. because you always were in his presence... but then you felt something.. he has gone up to your lap.. and cried the words.

Micheal:..Holy, Holy is our God...Lord have mercy on me.

...

Now you were just unfazed, what happend that a Angel would cry in your lap for the forgiveness of God?.. Oh boy.

You:..Why,what happend? It cant be just that the Lord disappears when I am constantly in contact with but you Angels arent? What happend?!

...

Micheal:God has left heaven! Do you not get it Mortal?!

As he said those exact words the cries have stopped and he had a tight grip on your tight.

Micheal:I cant think of even 1 good reason why God's presence is with you... The Holy Spirit of God.. within you .. but if the his presence is withhin you... you might be a key figure of finding out where he is....

At that moment he stood up and ripped your Shirt off.. he took his sword and sliced his hand and branded your chest.

Micheal: Dont even think of running away, for if you try to escape heaven all the other low ranking Angels wont hesitate to devour you... the only thing that keeps all of them away from you.. would be me.. so be a good little mortal and just listen to me.

And with that, he bowed slightly down and with a cold stare left and slammed the door and left you once again alone in that room of yours in which you still had a chain around your wrists... you were to perplexed.. and tried out but ... you thought..

You: I stil gotta pray..

So you went down on your knees and prayed the "Our Father in Heaven Prayer".

You: Our Father, Who art in heaven

Hallowed be 'Thy Name:

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive those who trespass

against us:

and lead us not into temptation

but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Right when you finish your prayer.. the door was slammed open.. and another figure appeared...

???:...How is it possible?.. After so long.. has he finally appeared once more?

When you saw the now you know Angel.. he had.. blonde hair and red eye with badanges all over him, and one over his eye.He ran directly to you and began to tightly hug you and he started to softly cry.

???: OH Lord.. where has thou been.. let this humble Angel Raphael feel your presence once more...

As he hugged you... you werent really suprised no more...Another Archangel.. and this time its Raphael. But the Angels wings, wrapped themselves around your small figurtivly small body and he began to just let out everything out...

To say that now you were fazed would be a understatement, like WHATS GOING ON, WHAT HAPPEND HERE, WHERE IS THE LORD AND WHY IS A LITERAL ARCHANGEL IN YOUR ARMS...

But .. seeing him in a state like this you couldnt help.. but feel bad for this Angel, you wrapped your arm around him and hugged him,completly forgetting your shirt was ripped a second ago and that you were "branded" by Micheal the Archangel.. but you just looked at the one in your arms and said said..

You:...Psalms 34:18.. "The lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

When he.. Raphael heard those words.. his tears began to become even heavier... you took him onto the bed and simply held him while he just cried all his pent up stress into your arms and after some time.. he fell asleep in your arms... it was safe to say,that this whole situation.. is just to weird and now that he wont possible let you go now that he has you in his embrace, after some time, you also went to sleep with him in your arms. Oh well holding someone like Archangel Raphael in your arms was something you never thought of ever doing.

You simply never thought you would ever do this.. comforting a Angel.. a Archangel much less .... Ha.... will this be a big mess to fix.

(Cliffhanger~)

So, the idea of this as a whole can be made into a story, which I naturally intend to do, but a little spoiler in my idea is. One day you be meeting the MC, of the game version for this is something I can assure you, MC and you are 2 whole entire diffrent people my dear readers so stay tuned as I plan to literal milk out this idea that I was blessed with.

#whb x reader #whb #whb x mc #what in hell is bad x reader #what is bad in hell purification #what in hell is bad #x reader #x malereader #x female reader

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class-1b-bull · 8 months

Note

What do you hc for class 1b's backstories? Also this blog is literally giving me a supply of 1b crumbs and I thank thee 🛐

Thank you so much <3

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - he grew up in a small town that was 90% men. Probably fisherman. Also I think he has an older sister that he calls a bitch all the time but he would die for her. Pretty basic past.

Sen - ya know those basic ass dudes that get 20+ love letters a day. That was him in middle school. Other than that he had a normal past with a normal family (including his 'annoying' little siblings that think hes the coolest person alive <3)

Kamakiri - hes either an only child or the oldest of like 12 kids. He always had to take care if his younger siblings since his parents stayed at work all the time

Kuroiro - he was the only goth in a small ass town. Everywhere he walked old ass farmers would judge him for the way he dressed but now that hes at UA with a few other goths he doesn't care about being judged as much (bro is forklift certified btw)

Kendo - she had a very supportive family and was always praised for her good deeds which made her want to become a hero. Nothing to exciting shes pretty much always been surrounded by love and affection.

Kodai - other than maybe being teased when she was younger for being so quiet shes always been the same as she is now. Normal family and home life lol. I do like to think he family is loud asf tho (not like always yelling but they just have booming voices yk)

Komori - she was probably an only child. And while she was more popular in school than some she preferred to stay home with her parents or walk around in the woods to find mushrooms

Shiozaki - she definitely went to some christian private school her whole life and was probably really sheltered so thats why I think she would be a little akward when meeting new people

Shishida - lives with his rich ass grandma. Idk what happened to his parents but they aint in the picture so he was raised by this sweet little old lady instead and it shows

Shoda - idk why but I think he was raised by one of those hella social single moms. She always went out to partys and had friends over. Having so many new people around him all the time scared little him ngl

Pony - we all know most of her life she lived in America (i think California) so she spent a lot of her life by the ocean. She probably knows how to surf lol. Other than that tho she has a little brother and her parents that lived with her til she transferred to japan

Tsubaraba - his past is 50/50. Either he had a normal life with loving parents in a stable home up til UA or it was fucked up. No in-between (Ya know how class clowns almost always have fucked home lives.)

Tetsutetsu - bros biggest problem in life is having a hot mom. Hes an only child raised by a single mom and though most of his life is normal he cant have friends over because they just talk about how strong his mom is lmao. (She works out often and is the reason tetsu wants to be so strong)

Tokage - if she does have siblings its 2 older brothers and she was raised by her dad after her mom died when she was too young to even remember her. She doesn't mind not having a mom because her 2 older brothers gladly fill in that role for her lmao

Manga - yk how the mha universe is biased against people with mutation quirks. I think mangas birth parents put him up for adoption after seeing his quirk but in less than a year he was adopted by two artists after they saw his love for art <3 he had a normal and happy life since (this is also why his main goal is to make all the kids in the world smile)

Honenuki - Honestly he had an alcoholic single mom or something. She would always come home tired and with bad headaches so thats why hes so good at most house tasks (cooking, massages, cleaning, ect.) Kinda neglected so he matured earlier than he shouldve but he still loves his mom

Bondo - he was adopted by lesbian moms and they raised him to be the gentlemanly giant he is today. He loves his parents so much for how they raised him. His past is pretty normal and the only reason he was put up for adoption was because his birth mom not being financially stable enough or something of the sort. (She does visit him every so often tho)

Monoma - we already know he was bullied for his quirk most of his life but did you know he also lets you save 15% or more on car insurance? (Idk what to put here we already know his past rip)

Reiko - her parents divorced when she was around 8 and her dad won custody of her and she honestly couldn't be happier. Her dad looks cool asf but hes nice as hell to anyone and everyone. He also loves spooky stories and is the main reason reiko loves spooky things. Pretty normal past other than having a cool ass dad.

Rin - he transferred to Japan for two reasons. To go to UA and to get away from his parents. Dont get me wrong his parents were good people but they were kinda disappointed when rin said he wanted to be a hero. That disapproval only made him more determined to prove them wrong tho.

(More on koseis in tomorrows post)

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barcaluvv · 1 month

Text

Lamine yamal x reader You and Yamal, the bond of friendship, which no one could ever separate, whether together or not at all, but as they say, a man can only kill his happiness because of feelings, but this time they both separated their wires that held many years of friendship.

One night, everything snapped and huge feelings came out of you both.

You were talking, you were sitting on the very bench, talking about irrelevant things, because you were both thinking the same thing, and if only you knew that, everything would be different. Yamal was teasing you with the book he was holding tight in his slender arms,grabbing your pens away as you were just out of class, second shift, laughing loudly and not caring about what others thought but yet not a single soul was seen. You felt like the while city was sleeping, as your paths will slowly diverge any moment from now. When you calmed down a bit Lamine said something condescending, his voice shaking not from cold but from fear "Can I tell you something?but dont be mad okay?" He was admiring your hair slowly but precisely fluttering in the wind, he looked at every line that your smile leaves, all that persuaded him to say what he was going to say now. "Listen y/n" he grabbed you by your palms, creasing your hair, tucking every strain of hair behind your ear, slowly and softly. He clings to you, his voice barely above a whisper "I feel so guilty sometimes... like I'm such a burden on you. I want to be perfect for you." he sniffles, looking down at the leaves falling from the branch.

"What are you trying to say?" U get worried. Tears form in his eyes as he continues "I'm scared too, ... scared of losing you. You mean everything to me." he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself "I just want to make you proud and happy, but i cant continue like this, i wake up everyday thinking about how my emotions tremble against your will, not being enough to express them to you, i love you y/n, u have every right to be mad at me and leave, and end our conversation forever but you cant run from the feeling of guilt" he sobs uncontrollably, burying his face in the cold current wind, that was trying to remove a tear from his cheeks ... I need you so much. he clings to you tightly, his entire body shaking from the intensity of his emotions "I don't want to lose you."

"Now maybe i did threw 7 years of friendship away in 5 minutes of speech but, ive waited for these few minutes my entire life now I'd have to break our contact." Said lamine with tear drops falling off his eyes, down to his sweatshirt. This all happened too fast, you're literally out of words but this sentence felt powerful. "Maybe we are soulmates after all".

Lamine wipes off his tears, trying to act tough not understanding your words. "What? What do you mean?".

Lamine, u lean closer feeling his heartbeat acrobat as u get to him.

"The truth is, ive been meaning to tell you that too, but also many thing more such as that my family is moving back to Portugal, this is my last goodbye my love". He sits in shock, feeling his empty-handed heart break in pieces, watching it flow like ashes.

He stands up, kisses your forehead soflty, not leaving any hope after it.

He pulls you tightly,holding you for seconds, treating them like years not wasting any of them, atleast that's not wasted besides the love potential we had.

He pulls away, giving you a bracelet, which says "Why not this universe"

that was written on the black buttons, like he was prepared for this. "Let this be a remember, it might be temporary but my love for you wasn't." He starts walking away, the streets carried him off, and poof suddenly our love too. Two months later, you found out he burned himself down. You were devastated, it took you so many months to put yourself together after this. 6 months passed, you heard a loud knocking on your door, it's better if you didn't open them, just like that I found out that the police was holding a paper, that was apparently held by Yamal when he died. The letter said "when you quietly told me that I won't be able to do without you. X your Lamine." That was supposed to be shifted the same night to Portugal. With a bracelet next to it.

#lamine yamal #fc barcelona #barca #pablo gavi #hector fort #gavi x reader

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rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos · 28 days

Text

CARMEN SANDIEGO INCORRECT QUOTES ULTIMATE EDITION! {WARNING! THERE ARE SHIPS. NO ELABORATION}

Shadowsan: I didn't drink that much last night. Carmen: You were flirting with Chase. Shadowsan: So what? They're my partner. Carmen: You asked if they were single. Carmen: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

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Zack: Hey, Carmen you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. Carmen: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Zack: Yea, my grandma lives there. Julia: That is the worst response to that question.

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Zack: I may be stupid. The Squad: … Zack: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

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Hideo: Suhara, what are you doing? Shadowsan: Making chocolate pudding. Hideo: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding? Shadowsan: Because I've lost control of my life. Shadowsan: Here's your pudding, Julia. Julia: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

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Hideo: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off? Carmen: What? No, I— Chase: enters room Hideo: jaw clenches

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Carmen: Go on, give Zack a compliment. Ivy: How do you expect me to do that? Player: Just say something that you wish someone would say to you. Ivy: Uhh… You are now unbanned from Free Ham Sandwich Day! Zack, sobbing: Nobody’s ever said that to me before!

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Chase: holding a salt packet It’s just a little sodium chloride. Julia: Actually Chase, it’s salt. Chase: That’s what I said, sodium chloride. Julia: Uh Chase, that would be salt. Julia: takes salt packer from Chase This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

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Shadowsan, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? Zack: grabs and chugs the entire bottle Zack: Zack: It's perfume.

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Chase: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos. Julia: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

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Professor Maelstrom: Dr. Bellum, are you drinking… drinking hydrogen peroxide?! Dr. Bellum: It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water!

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Brunt: You disgust me. Cleo: eating a kitkat sideways I realize this and don’t care.

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Brunt: looks over Dr. Bellum’s shoulder at their laptop What the fuck? Dr. Bellum: slams screen shut It’s just research! For something I’m writing about! I swear that’s it! Brunt: Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs? Dr. Bellum: It’s not just “frogs”, it’s the Surinam Toad. And it’s not “breeding habits”, it’s how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know! Brunt: That doesn’t change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction. Dr. Bellum, offendedly: You don’t know that! Brunt: I hear no denial.

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Dr. Bellum: This food is too hot… I cant eat it. Cleo: You’re very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: silence Brunt: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Professor Maelstrom: One dinner… I just want ONE DINNER!

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Dr. Bellum: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Cleo made me get tested.

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Professor Maelstrom: Is Cleo always like this when they lose? Dr. Bellum: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Cleo: You bumped that table and you know it!

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Cleo: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake. Brunt: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Dr. Bellum. Cleo, pointing their hot glue gun towards Brunt: You’re on thin fucking ice.

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Dr. Bellum is shopping with Cleo Dr. Bellum: Can I get a silenced pistol? Cleo: If there’s one on sale.

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Dr. Bellum: I think I mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart.

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Professor Maelstrom: You use humor to deflect your trauma. Brunt: Awww, thanks- Professor Maelstrom: That’s not a good thing. Brunt: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

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Dr. Bellum: How petty can you get? Cleo: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

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Dr. Bellum: I drink to forget but I always remember. Professor Maelstrom: You're drinking orange juice.

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Carmen: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Ivy: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Carmen: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ZACK WITH ME Shadowsan, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

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Carmen, setting down a card: Ace of spades Ivy, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Zack, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Shadowsan, trembling: What are we playing

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Carmen: Dammit, Zack! Zack: What?! It wasn’t me! Carmen: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Ivy! Ivy: Not me either. Carmen: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Shadowsan: whistles

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Vlad: You should really cover your webcam with something, what if someone's watching? Boris: Huh, really? I probably have a sticker or something if that would do. Vlad: Sure, sure- Vlad: ...Why do you have a sticker of me? Boris: Oh, it's just one of the spares. Vlad: ...Spares?

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Boris: *running towards Vlad with open arms* Vlad: *moves out of the way* Boris: Hey, why'd you move?! Vlad: I thought you were going to attack me. Boris: I was going to hug you! Vlad: Why would you hug me? Boris: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

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Boris: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Vlad: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

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Boris: Cheers to our new "YAKT". Vlad: the "c" is silent. Boris, staring out at the horizon: Yes, it's very tranquil. You're right.

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Vlad: Wow, Boris, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Boris: We literally slept together yesterday. Vlad: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

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Hacker: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up! Hacker: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

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Ivy, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK?? Ivy, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

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Zack: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

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Zack: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? Shadowsan: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. Carmen: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. Ivy: Rock also defeats baby.

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Chase: I am a responsible adult! Julia: raises brow Chase: I am an adult.

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Ivy, grinning: Before you were what? Julia: Before I was- Ivy: What? Julia: Before I was inter- Ivy: Before you were interrupted? Julia: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll- Ivy: What? Julia: makes frustrated sound Shadowsan, nervously: Stop that. Before they hurt you.

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Ivy: Where are you going? Hideo: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.

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Shadowsan: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

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Chase: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Shadowsan: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Ivy: Ya know… it might be.

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Zack: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it. Dash Haber: What- how? Zack: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

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Young Shadowsan: I am a ninja. Young Hideo: No, you’re not. Young Shadowsan: Did you see me do that? Young Hideo: Do what? Young Shadowsan: Exactly.

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Young Hideo: Suhara-kun, you're testifying in an aggravated assault case tomorrow, and the D.A. is worried about how you'll present yourself on the stand. Young Shadowsan: Why? I'm fine on the stand! flashback to Testimony #1 Young Shadowsan: Look, I'll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand. Young Shadowsan, to the jury: MAN DID CRIME. flashback to Testimony #2 Young Shadowsan: I'm sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face? Defense Attorney, next to the crying defendant: …Crying? flashback to Testimony #3 Young Shadowsan: And when this is over, I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna break those little fingers. Judge: Could the witness please stop threatening the stenographer?

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Zack: Ivy, I screwed up, big time. Ivy: Zack, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

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Shadowsan: Zack is forbidden from monologuing.

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Shadowsan: Turns on the kitchen light Zack: Sitting at the table, eating bread Shadowsan: It’s four in the morning. Zack: Turn the light back off.

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At a zoo Zack: What are they in for? Player: Zack, this isn't prison. Zack: So they can leave? Player: No, but- Zack, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

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Young Shadowsan: Fight me! Young Hideo, standing behind them and holding a knife: mouths Do not.

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Shadowsan: What’s sexting? Ivy: I'm not having this conversation with you.

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After picking Zack up from Denny's Shadowsan: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing. Zack: But ya' didn't!

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Shadowsan: Did it hurt when you fell- Chase: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Shadowsan: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. Chase: … Shadowsan: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

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Carmen: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Zack will and will not eat. Player: Grass? Yes! Carmen: Moss? Yes!! Player: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Carmen: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Player: Worms? Sometimes! Carmen: Rocks? Usually nah. Player: Twigs? Usually! Carmen: Ivy's cooking? Inconclusive! Julia: How did you… test this? Carmen: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it. Julia: … I don’t know how to feel about this. Ivy: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

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Chase: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind. Chase: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. Chase: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year? Shadowsan: This is Monopoly.

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Carmen: Holding up a picture of a seemingly young anime girl WHO IS SHE?! IS SHE TWELVE?! Player: No! She's a thousand years ol- Carmen: Plays the reverse card on Uno Online Player: NO! NOOOOOOOOOO-!

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Zack: There is no i in happyness… Chase: There is if you fucking spell it right.

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Roundabout: That's not funny. Dr Bellum: I thought it was funny. Roundabout: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

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Prof. Maelstrom: What do we say when life disappoints us? Countess Cleo: Called it! Prof. Maelstrom: No.

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Dr Bellum: Can you name a single city in Oklahoma? Coach Brunt: Oklahoma City, bitch!

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Dr Bellum: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but— Coach Brunt: That's because you're too short to do so. Dr Bellum: …Listen here you fucking—

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playing twister Coach Brunt: Right hand red. Countess Cleo: ends up on top of Dr Bellum Dr Bellum: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Coach Brunt: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

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Prof. Maelstrom: Is it still visible? Where Lady Dokuso slapped me? Roundabout: Your face looks like a don't walk signal. Coach Brunt: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box. Countess Cleo: A palm reader could tell Lady Dokuso's future by looking at your face. Dr Bellum: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face. Prof. Maelstrom: …A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

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Dr Bellum, to Countess Cleo: We had a date! Dr Bellum: aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book

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Roundabout: So, how long have you and Countess Cleo been together? Lady Dokuso: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Countess Cleo and I are not together. No. No. Roundabout: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really?

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Coach Brunt: Gunnar told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.

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Tigress: I know you love them. El Topo: I am not in love with Jean-Paul! Tigress, staring at El Topo: I never said who… El Topo: realizes El Topo: Shit. Well, anyways-

Hacker: Uhh.. Mime Bomb just asked if we want to… Hacker: “Fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?” Neil the Eel, not even looking up from their phone: They’re asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees. Hacker: Oh, that makes more sense.

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Tigress, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

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Paper Star: Hey guys, what are your favorite kinds of pudding? Tigress: Pudding deez nuts in your mouth? Is that what you were about to say? Do you gain joy from tricking your innocent cohorts? What if I actually wanted to tell you about my favorite pudding?

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Hacker: I have a problem. Tigress: Kill it. Hacker: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

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Paper Star: Why are you wearing glasses? Neil the Eel: Errr…reading…? Paper Star: Reading? Paper Star: I didn’t know you could read.

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El Topo: Can you please just apologize to Neil? Le Chevre: Fine, but I have to warn you that this may make me a nicer, better person and that is not who you feel in love with.

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Carmen: What's an orgasm?

Ivy: When you fold paper to look like birds and shit.

Zack: That's oregano bitch.

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Player: Sorry I was late I was zoomed in on Google Maps following a river from source to mouth.

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Player and Carmen are texting

Player: You're only gonna catch feelings and get hurt

Carmen: But she's. So funny

Player: So are clowns. Do you see me texting Chuck E Cheese everyday

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Shadowsan: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! Carmen: Climbing THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!

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Zack: I don’t remember that. Chase: Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door? Zack: …No. Chase: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by those wild dogs for two miles? Zack: Not especially, no. Chase: It was in between those two things.

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Carmen: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight. Ivy: But are you shuffling? Carmen: Everyday. Shadowsan: What language are you two speaking??

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Brotherly Bickering going on here

Shadowsan: I intend to stay pissed at you forever. Shadowsan: Even if I seem helpful. Hideo: Then you're in luck. Hideo: Because you don't.

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Zack: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon. Shadowsan: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic. Zack: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

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Zack: Why do you act like we’re three year olds? Shadowsan, exasperated: WHY?!? Shadowsan points at Ivy: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR! Shadowsan points at Chase: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! Shadowsan points at Zack: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! Shadowsan: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

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Zack: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth. Ivy: Why? Zack, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

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Shadowsan: What's this? Chase, hugging Shadowsan: Affection! Shadowsan: Disgusting. Shadowsan: …Do it again.

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Maelstrom: That's a nice arguement, Brunt. Why don't you back it up with a source? Brunt: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

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Maelstrom: Time sensitive question how flirt boy. Saira: Throw rocks at he. Brunt: Hot Dogs. Cleo: Kill him. Maelstrom: Thanks guys.

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Boris: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Vlad: I wrote you a poem. Boris, already crying: You did?

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Boris: Wow, they really hate us. Vlad: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. Boris: But we’re not gay, Vlad. Vlad: Boris: Vlad: We’re not?

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Zack: Two bros! Zack: Chillin' in a hot tub! Zack: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

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Dash: I want to kiss you. Zack, not paying attention: What? Dash: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

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Dash walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Zack, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. Zack, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

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Neil : Mimebomb and I are no longer friends. Mimebomb, Signing: NEIL THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

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Neil and Mimebomb are in Paris. Neil : I'm…moved. I…I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel…destiny? Mimebomb, Signing: But… Neil : I don't know what it is. I feel like… I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and… Mimebomb, Signing: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception? Neil : Yeah. Mimebomb, Signing: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe. Neil : Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION. Mimebomb, Signing: Okay, alright.

AND THAT''S THE END. Or is it....?

#carmen sandiego #i'm not tagging all of them #rubin report

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