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serendipityrogers · 3 years

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summer fun || a. barber

summary: everyone seems to know (y/f/n) except for andy.

pairing: andy barber x neighbor!female!reader

warnings: (18+) age gap (reader is 20s, andy is 40s), (m) masturbation, andy thinks about reader while in the shower, pet-names (bunny, baby, honey), mentions of divorce, ex-wife talk. minors DNI

an: i am an absolute WHORE for andy barber, and i haven’t even watched defending jacob, so if i get any information wrong, oopsies. and i know the sundress trope is over done, but i fucking love it so leave me alone. i feel like i only write in series because i have so many ideas and could never fit them all into one one-shot. anyway, enjoy :p

Andy’s phone vibrated once in his back pocket, initially he ignored it. Too busy scanning over the pre-made pastries, debating cupcakes or sugar cookies. In his left hand was a cardboard container filled with fruit-flavored hard lemonades. But he felt his phone buzz again, this time in rapid succession. With an eye-roll, he pulled it out of his pocket and towards his ear without even looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” He said flatly, deciding on the brightly colored cookies and grabbing a few of them, supporting the stack with his chest. “Hi Andy, it’s Marie.” Her voice was soft, but full of excitement. “I was just calling to make sure you’re coming to the get-together this afternoon. You didn’t replay to our group message.” Andy had that group message on mute, so of course he didn’t reply. “Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Lie. He wanted nothing more than to skip this stupid party. She talked his ear off for another couple minutes, talking about nothing important, as he stood in line to pay for his couple groceries.

“Well Marie, I’m actually about to check-out at the store. I’ll see you at 2.” Andy cut her off mid-sentence. “Okay dear, don’t forget, it’s near the playground, John is bringing out his grill.” She explained, although Andy already knew, they did this literally every year. “Alright, I will be there. Bye.” He said again, before hanging up the phone.

He understood the importance of community, and getting to know your neighbors and all that jazz, but he didn’t need to be reminded of an event he had known about for well, a year. Andy knew he sounded like a sourpuss, and he did enjoy himself while at the function, but just the initial thought of attending is what he dreaded. After checking out, he started the walk across the parking lot towards his car.

When Andy finally decided to make his way towards the party, he heard some kids screaming as soon as he stepped out his door. Thank god, his child was older, there was no way he could deal with that type of screaming anymore. The cookies and hard lemonades were still in their shopping bags, and he slipped in a bottle of Jameson for him and some of the other guys in the neighborhood.

The red and blue twisting slides soon came into Andy’s view, along with about thirty people, all sitting in lawn-chairs in their own little circles. Andy had made sure to grab his own chair from the garage before he left. People greeted Andy as he got closer to the crowd of people, handshakes from some of the older men, pecks on the cheek from some of the older women, and high-fives from some of the kids he had known since they were in diapers.

“Andy! Over here!” Andy turned his head towards the person who called his name, it was his friend Josh. Him and Andy had been friends ever since Josh moved into the cul-de-sac about ten years ago, they were neighbors. Their son’s had hit it off right away, and ended up becoming really good friends, and in turn, so did the two older men. Andy ditches the cookies and lemonades with the rest of the food and beverages.

“Hey man.” Andy pulled the other man in for a brief hug, before setting up his lawn chair. “Did you bring the stuff?” Josh asked, pretending to be secretive. “Of course I did.” Andy scoffed, pulling out two glasses and the green bottle. He poured about three-fingers worth of alcohol into each glass. Three-fingers worth meaning about a third of the way full. Both of them chatted about anything that came to mind as a couple more people appeared.

Josh was telling Andy a story he had heard about a hundred times, so he half-listened, nodding and throwing out the occasional “uh-huh.” Andy allowed his eyes to wander between person to person, watching other people engage in conversation, kids push each other for a turn on the swing, and a group of elderly men gossiping about someone from the community. He heard an uptick in conversation to his left, so he turned his attention that way.

“Who is that?”

Andy’s eyes landed on you. He had never seen you before, clearly, and he was absolutely sure of that. You were not someone simply forgotten. His eyes followed you, every movement, almost in slow motion. You hugged some of his friends and neighbors, placing friendly kisses on their cheeks. A face decorated with a big smile as you greeted some of the smaller children, and they clung to you like they had known you their whole life.

“Who’s that?” Andy’s friend laughed at him. “That’s (Y/F/N). She used to babysit for almost every family here, until she went off to college. She recently graduated and moved into the neighborhood.” That name rang a bell. He had definitely heard it before, but never would have connected the two. That made sense why he never met you, Laurie and him never believed in babysitters. Almost like you were summoned by your name being mentioned, you sauntered towards the small circle of people Andy currently sat in.

You were wearing a green sundress, adorned with small white polka-dots and thin straps tied into bows on your shoulders. The color accented your skin color absolutely amazing. It clung to your body, your breasts, hips, ass, and thighs. The material ended at the middle of your thighs, occasionally catching a gust of wind, pulling the fabric a little higher. A thin layer of sweat covered your chest and legs, giving you a glow of some sorts.

“Hey guys!” You exclaimed, standing between Andy and Josh’s lawn chairs. Your eyes bouncing between everyone until they landed on Andy. “Hi, I’m (Y/F/N)! I don’t think we’ve met.” You stuck out one of your manicured hands, and Andy’s large hand enveloped over yours. “Nice to meet you, I’m Andy Barber.” He introduced himself. “Wait, are you Jacob Barber’s dad?” This confused Andy.

“I am. How do you know Jacob?” Andy shifted in his chair to face you better. “Jacob and I went to college together.” You explained, everyone else had gone back to their own conversations. “Oh, He’s never mentioned you before.” He explained, bringing his glass up to his lips. “We only met our last semester, I transferred closer to home my last year. I originally went to school in Washington.” You explained, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “When I told him I was moving here, he mentioned you lived in this neighborhood. I didn’t think I would meet you so soon.”

Before Andy could say anything else, your name was being called from somewhere behind you. “Well, if you talk to Jacob, tell him I said hello.” And with that you walked off, but not before Andy could admire you one more time. The way your hips moved when you walked. He even noticed that it wasn’t white polka-dots on your dress, but tiny flowers.

For the rest of the afternoon, he would steal glances at you, and nearly got caught staring at you for way too long. When he got home, had a conversation with Jacob. His son was surprised when his dad asked about you. “(Y/F/N)? How do you know (Y/F/N)?” Jacob sounded confused. “Apparently she just moved into the neighborhood. She said you two went to college together.”

“Oh yeah, she did mention that.” The man on the other end of the phone laughed. “Yeah, well, she transferred to my college last year, something about her mom and wanting to be closer. We had the same minor, so we had two classes together last semester.” His story lined up perfectly with hers. “She’s basically the reason I passed those classes.” There was silence for a moment. “Well, she told me to tell you hello.

Andy quickly found out that you lived only a couple houses down from him. This sparked his memory, he remembered seeing a movie truck and an unfamiliar car, but he assumed someone was moving out and not in. This neighborhood rarely has any new people, especially not people your age.

Like every morning, Andy went on a run, but instead of turning left out his driveway, he went right. The way toward your house. He wasn’t exactly sure how many houses away you were. But it wasn’t hard to figure it out, since you were gathering groceries from your car when he passed. It looked like you were struggling so he stopped.

“Need some help?” He asked, starting the walk up your driveway. You tossed your head in the direction of his voice, and a smile immediately grew on your face. “Yes, please.” You chuckled, balancing a jug of milk on your thigh. He picked up his pace and took in your appearance on this warm morning. This sundress was light blue, with some more white flowers. The sleeves were longer than the last dress but around the same length on your thighs. The neckline plunged much further, exposing the inner curvature of your breasts. He thought about his lips pressing against the valley of your breasting, being sure to mark his territory.

Quickly, he grabbed the reusable bag off your shoulder, and easily gathered four more bags. “Wow, Mr. Muscle.” He heard you chuckle, grabbing the last bag and the carton of milk. He walked behind you, and up the steps towards your front door. “Don’t mind the mess, I’m still unpacking.” You explained, unlocking and pushing the door open. Andy kicked the door shut with his foot, and you led him towards the kitchen.

You placed the milk and your purse on the counter, “You can just set them on the ground, I have to sort out cold stuff.” He obliged. “Thank you so much, Mr. Barber.” You smiled at him. God, he loved your smile. “No problem, anything I can do to help.” He insisted. “Would you like water? A soda? A beer?” You asked him, opening your fridge to place the milk inside. Andy’s eyes landed on the new skin visible on your thighs, as the fabric moved upward. For a moment, he saw a piece of red fabric. His cock twitched in his boxers at the sight.

“I would love a beer, but since it’s only eleven in the morning, I’ll take a water.” He looked away from you, peering out your kitchen window. Anything to get his mind off the sight in front of him. “If you insist, but a little day-drinking never hurt anyone.” You snicker, shutting the fridge. After he composed himself a bit, he looked back towards you. You were only a couple feet from him, and he took the water out of your hand.

“At my age, it could hurt a lot.” Andy chuckled, before taking a swig of water. “If Jacob is 22, that means you’re probably in your early forties, that’s not old at all.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing one of the bags off the floor and emptying the contents onto the counter. “Plus, you don’t look a day over twenty-five.” Andy laughed at your words.

“What? I’m serious!” You insisted, throwing the now empty bag at Andy. It bounced off his chest and back onto the floor. “Well, thank you for the compliment.” The two of you stood in silence for a few moments, he watched you unpack your groceries. His eyes flickered between your ass and your legs, thinking about the red fabric only inches away from the end of your skirt. He desperately wanted to see that dress lying on the floor of this kitchen, or his bedroom, or anywhere.

He had never thought about a woman, the way he thought about you, but he did so guiltily. Not only were you young, you were friends with his son, and he was technically still married. Long story. Him and his kinda-sorta-almost ex-wife were separated, but not legally divorced. Laurie was dragging her feet with the paperwork. Andy had been trying for almost a year now, but she just kept coming up with excuses and demands that were just outrageous. And all he wanted to do was take out his frustration. On you.

“Mr. Barber?” Your voice tore him for his thoughts. “Huh? I’m sorry, what did you say?” His eyes refocused on you. “I said, I’m about to start some lunch, do you want some?” Andy wanted to desperately say yes, but he didn’t trust himself to stay here any longer. “Thank you so much for the offer, but I should really get back to my run, I have to leave to meet a client at two.” He explained, downing the rest of his water and tossing it in the trash can beside the island.

“Oh okay! I’ll walk you out.” You insisted, starting the journey towards the door. Andy, happily, trailing behind you. “Well, enjoy the rest of your run and good luck with your client.” And what she did next caught Andy off guard. Her soft, glossed lips landed on his right cheek. “And thanks for helping me with my groceries.” He didn’t even try and muster a word, and just left with a smile.

He might have lied to you. Just a small lie though. He wasn’t actually meeting with a client, but instead he had a meeting with Laurie and their respective lawyers. But you didn’t need to know that. So, Andy didn’t even try to finish his run, he went immediately home. He couldn’t think straight, and he needed to deal with this stirring in his gym shorts if he wanted to get anything else done today. So, directly to the shower he went.

Pulling off his clothes, and throwing them in the hamper. The water was cold, not lukewarm, cold. Like ice. He let the water fall down the expanse of his back, his hands pressed against the tile in front of him. He tried to think about anything except for you. But he let his eyes fall close, which ended up being a bad idea. Or a good idea. He wasn’t entirely sure.

All he could see was you bent over the island in your kitchen. That blue dress bunched up around your waist, and that thin red fabric completely on display for him to see. He admired them for a brief moment before tearing them down your legs, you let out a quick gasp. One of his knees pushed your legs open wider, so he could fit one of his hands between your legs. His index moved slowly between your folds, before making contact with your clit.

He felt your body tense and chuckled. Leaning over, his chest against your back, mouth right next to your ear. “You’re already so wet for me, bunny.” You couldn’t even muster any words, just noises, desperate for him to move his fingers. You rotate your hips against his still finger. “Talk to me, honey, what do you want me to do?” He loved having power, but especially power over you. “Touch, please.” Her voice was small, filled with breathy moans. “Touch who, baby?” He heard you huff in frustration. “Touch me, please.” She practically begged him. “Good girl.” He said, his index finger rubbing small circles onto her clit.

Andy couldn’t help it anymore, his hand wrapped around his cock, leaving one hand against the shower wall. He started slowly, savoring these thoughts. But that was hard since he was already so worked up, he just needed some release. He thrusted into his hand, picking up the pace each time. Mind filling with more scenarios of you and him.

And before he knew it he was right about there, and all he needed to think about was his cock buried deep inside your tight pussy, your face full of pleasure. Eyes screwed shut, mouth agape, and a string of moans passing your lips. He thought about you clenching around him, taking him so well. About how he would fill you up with his cum, and leave you a dripping mess.

The building in his stomach had reached its max, and he came in his hand and against the wall. Covering them in ribbons of cum, but both being cleaned almost immediately from the water. He pumped until he became too sensitive to even touch. He may have just gotten out of the shower, but he felt dirty

#andy barber one shot #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber x reader #andy barber smut #andy barber imagine #andy barber x you #andy barber #chris evans #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evan one shot #chris evans fanfiction

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gayaristocrat · 3 years

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Billy Hargrove A-Z Smut Game

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Male Reader

Tags: @luns-world , hope you enjoy it. And thank you so much for requesting this!

Request: Hi I LOVED your billy a-z fluff if you are doing requests can you do another billy a-z but smut? Or headcanon

Reading Key:

L/L = Leg Length

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Billy tends to put all of his force and energy into sex, which in turn leaves him breathless and tired. After making sure you are satisfied he’ll just roll over on the other side of the bed and lay on his back with one arm resting under his head as he allows you to rest on top of his sweaty body and cuddle into his heaving chest. He takes his free arm and wraps it around you as you both calm down from your high, enjoying each others presence. After a couple of minutes of catching his breath, Billy will then hop back up with a sly smirk and ask “Ready for another round hot stuff?”.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Billy without a doubt loves your (L/L) legs. He is completely in love with the way your legs wrap around his neck when he decides to give you a blowjob. He also likes it when you wrap your legs around his waist when he thrusts himself inside you, making him shove his dick deeper inside you causing you to desperately hold onto him as you moan in his ear while he whispers dirty things in your ear. “Fuck baby, you like when I dick you down like this, huh? Such a naughty boy, only I can see you like this, right my little slut?”

Your favorite body part of Billy’s are definitely his abs. Whenever you grind on him, his abs help add tension on your cock making you cling onto him tighter, needing to feel more pleasure as you grind faster. Billy will just sit back and watch as you become desperate, craving your sweet release. Not only are Billy’s abs great to grind on, but they look amazing when he plays basketball, or when he is on his job as a lifeguard. Watching as beads of sweat travel and roll down his body, making sure to gloss up his abs, catching the eye of every girl and married woman at the pool. Billy enjoys taking his shirt off every chance he gets, fully knowing that every women will watch him with lustful eyes. But honestly, he doesn’t intend to do it for anybody else, he only does it to tease you and make you flustered, which he successfully does without fail.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Billy enjoys blowjobs and lets you blow him anytime you want, because lets be honest, this man has a high sex drive and as long as he gets to have some kind of sex with you, he will be happy. Whenever you blow him, he always makes sure to blow his load all over your face. Believe it or not, he also loves when you snowball with him. SO basically, after Billy is finished destroying your throat from his harsh face fucking, he pulls his cock out of your mouth and spills his thick, hot, sticky load all in your mouth. After he drains his cock, you stand up off of your knees and gently grab his face as you bring your faces close together into a passionate kiss, fighting each other with your tongues and swapping his cum back and forth into each other’s mouths.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Billy’s dirty secret is that he is a slight masochist for hair pulling. Whether its you grabbing fist-fulls of his curly blond hair, or biting and pulling at his pubic hair. If you are comfortable and are into playing with Billy’s armpits, then pulling on his armpit hair with your teeth is also something he loves too.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Do we really have to get into this? Billy totally knows what he’s doing. He has plenty of experience on his hands, before getting with you he use to have sex with a lot of women almost every day because to him sex was just nothing but a fun activity to do when he was bored. Billy wanted to be loyal to you and only love you, so he stopped all of that when started dating you. He stopped having sex with people and only did it with you, and when he did, he always knew the right way to make you scream and moan in ecstasy.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.)

Billy’s favorite position is the seashell. Not only does it give him better access to attack your prostate dead on, but it also allows him to be as close to you as possible. It gives Billy great satisfaction to see you wither below him from the pleasure he gives you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Billy isn’t really the kind of person to make sex a laughing matter or something to joke about. Every now and then you do try to make Billy loosen up a little bit, and get him to laugh.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Billy likes to keep things on the wild side, so lets just say that it looks like a forest down there. He likes to keep himself pretty hairy because he enjoys making you inhale deep breaths of his musky smell, especially when he gets done working out and getting himself all sweaty.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Billy tends to be kind of rough during sex. So you should expect to be begging him to slow his thrusts down and to be more gentle, but Billy’s sadistic ass will only laugh at how weak you’ve become under him. But if Billy is feeling generous or if he’s in a good enough mood, he will slow down for you until you are ready for him to pick up the pace.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Billy only jacks off when he wants to make you become even more needy during sex. You two will do a challenge where he jacks himself off in front of your face as you sit there without touching yourself until you are begging him to let you suck his cock, promising him that you will be a good boy and do any and everything he says.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Billy no doubt has a praise kink. It makes his ego high, and it builds up his confidence when you praise his body, and when you praise him for making you feel good and hitting the right spot. Billy is also a sucker for dirty talk, whether is him whispering it to you in your ear, or its coming form you. “Do you like when my cock is destroying your tight little asshole (y/n)?” or “Which hole should I destroy first (y/n), huh? Should I use your mouth as my cock sleeve, or should I just use your tight little asshole as a cum dump instead?”

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

It doesn’t really matter where you two have sex, as long as he can tap that sweet ass of yours he’ll be completely satisfied. Although, he does enjoy when you to are able to be in a comfortable place to have sex like the bedroom or the couch.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you really wanna see Billy act up, then don’t be afraid to call him daddy. It always makes him feel dominate since he constantly gives off that alpha wolf type of aura.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Billy will never force you to have sex with him if your not in the mood. Even while you two are having sex and at any time you tell him to stop, Billy will quickly comply and stop everything he’s doing and comfort you if you need him. Growing up Billy always understood that no means no and will never under any circumstances make you feel guilty for it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Billy doesn’t mind giving or receiving blowjobs. He understands that he can get a little carried away when he face fucks you. So as an apology, Billy will do the same for you and deep throat you, and he will allow you to go as hard or as soft as you want to. Hell, he’ll even allow you to face fuck him until he is gagging on your dick if you want to.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Billy is naturally fast pace during sex, he loves trying to see how he can build up the intensity of pleasure, and how far he can get the both of you. He also likes it rough, so expect a lot of dirty talk, biting, and a very rough handsy Billy. Billy enjoys leaving behind bruises and bite marks so that way people will always remember who you belong to, and let’s just say that you always wear them with pride.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Billy loves quick sex just as much as he loves slow sex. Whenever he is on a time crunch, quickies tend to come in handy. Weather it’s in his car before he has to pick up max, or before he has to go to work.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Billy is a complete risk taker. Whenever he is at work and you two decide to have sex on his lunch break in the locker rooms, he will make sure to leave the door unlocked and he’ll make you face the door as he fucks you from behind. It gives both of you a thrill just thinking about someone walking in on you two banging away. Sometimes Billy will even tease you saying “Look at yourself baby boy, getting off at the though of someone walking in on me fucking your hot boy pussy like the little slut you are”

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Billy can usually go about 3 rounds, after that he will need to take a couple of minutes to gain back some of his energy before going back at it again.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Billy use to use dildos and vibrator on you when you two first started dating, but he stopped using them on you because every time you would plead and beg for his cock. But don’t worry, he’ll get them out without hesitation when you feel like you want to do some foreplay “p...please, nothing will ever be as good as Daddy Billy’s cock”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If you didn’t get the hint from what I previously stated, Billy is extremely unfair. He loves seeing for far he can get before pushing you over the edge. Not only does he make you beg to be stuffed with his cock, but he also will make you beg him to allow you cum. If you just so happen to cum without his permission he will make sure to punish you by making you cum many times until you cant anymore.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Billy let’s out loud beastly moans, so that way you can know how much pleasure you are giving him. As a result, hearing his moans will make you a complete mess under him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

One day you and Billy decided to go on a date to the movies and see A Nightmare on Elm Street. As the movie was playing, Billy would take quick glances over at you in the seat next to him, he watched intensely every time your tongue would slightly dart out of your mouth to catch the buttery popcorn in your hands as you watched the movie. He couldn’t help but imagine sinful thoughts of you using your tongue on his cock, attacking it with kitten licks as he cums all over your face. Billy cursed at himself as he can feel himself growing in his already tight blue jeans, making them even tighter. Giving into his urges, he looks around only to see that the very top row in the movies theatre you two were sitting in was completely empty along with the row in front of you two. Billy leans over to whisper to you, careful as to not let other people in the rows below you two hear him speak.

“Hey (y/n), what would happen if you just casually blew me...right here...right now?”

“Hmm...” you say with a sky smirk turning to him, you reach over to his seat and place a strong hold on the growing bulge in his jeans “How about we find out for ourselves daddy”

Lets just say that the employee who cleans up the movie theatre after every showing unfortunately had a very big and sticky mess to clean up off of the floor.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

The first time you guys talked to each other, you turned to your friend as Billy was walking away and whispered to them and said “I know his dick is big, I know it, I know it’s big. I mean...oh god my heart hurts”. Which you were absolutely right, Billy is indeed long, thick, and with a nice red tip.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Once again like I said before, Billy has a pretty high sex drive, so you can always look forward to ending everyday by having sex before you two go to bed at night.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Billy will always be the first one to fall asleep, because after all he is a hard working man. Even though he falls asleep first. he will unconsciously cuddle close to you in his arms and spend the rest of the day enjoying each other as you both rest peacefully.

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Finish the fic? Leave a like and comment if you enjoyed it. Also, give it a reblog too!

937 notes · View notes

kimvvantae · 4 years

Text

puzzle; 6 (m)

➜ you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, unprotected sex (use condoms y’all kids)

rating: 18+

word count: 13k wooohoooooo

A/N: i listened to the same 4 songs over and over again while writing and i think it kind of sets the mood for this chapter so hm if you guys like listening to music while reading here goes a small playlist:

Jungkook - If you (read the lyrics pls)

Whitesnake - Is This Love

BTS - Jamais Vu

Sam Smith - Lay Me Down

enjoy!

➜ Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

“You’re acting weird.”

You finally look up when you hear this, just to see Hoseok frowning at you.

“I’m not.” You’re quick to say, shrugging.

“You’re really acting weird. Is everything okay?” Hoseok insists, crossing his arms.

Hoseok is not what bothers you the most, though, but another pair of eyes watching you like a hawk.

Jimin knows why you’re acting weird. Since that day at Joy’s house, he has been staring at you like this constantly - half judging, half worried.

It’s very annoying, to be honest.

“I’m just… a little bit stressed.” You admit, shrugging again. Fortunately, Hoseok isn’t as observant as Jimin, so he seems convinced.

“So, what did you guys want?” You ask, changing the topic. They came after you in the cafeteria while you have lunch after all.

“Ah! I almost forgot,” Hoseok starts. “You quit your job at the coffee shop, right?”

“Yes. It was way too stressful and my boss was a bitch.” You huff.

“So you’ll be free this weekend?” He asks. You nod, but if he’s about to invite you to a party or something, you’re ready to say no. “The thing is, you know that me and Jimin have this job as waiters, right? There’s a wedding this weekend and they’re needing staff. So, if you’re interested, you can come with us on Saturday night. The payment is decent and it’s just easy stuff to do.”

Your mood lightens up at this. “Yeah, sure! I’ll go. I really need money right now.”

Hoseok smiles and claps his hands together. “Alright! I’ll send you all the information later. They’ll give you a uniform, so don’t worry about clothes. I have to go now. Bye!”

He leaves.

Jimin stays.

You just keep eating quietly, Jimin’s heavy gaze on you, until you finally get annoyed.

“Jimin, what do you want?” You cross your arms and glare back.

Jimin slowly quirks one eyebrow. “Won’t you ask me if Jungkook’s going?”

“Why would I ask if he’s going or not?”

“Because you guys aren’t talking anymore.”

“Thank you so much for reminding me of this, Jimin."

He realised that he went a little too far just by seeing your clenched jaw and the anger in your eyes. Jimin sighs and shrugs. "Anyways, yes, Jungkook is going. But not to work as a waiter, he’ll take pictures instead.”

“So what?"

Jimin swipes his hand over his face and shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. "I think you’re so stupid. Both of you. My fucking God.”

“You know what, Jimin? That’s none of your business.” You finally get up and take the tray rather roughly, walking away without looking back.

Maybe you were a little too rude with Jimin, but he’s being unbearable these days.

It’s been one month since that day at Joy’s house - one month since you and Jungkook have been avoiding each other like the plague.

And maybe you were a little too rude with him because deep down, you know he’s right.

As usual.

tae: wyd?? 👀👀

you: working

tae: ??? didn’t u quit ur job

you: yea

you: it’s one night thing

you: i need the 💸💸

tae: oh

tae: ok

tae: i’ll ask later then

you: wAIT

you: ask what??????

tae: later

tae: u should work first~

you: but im curious

you: i can’t work if im curious >:(

tae: 🙊

you: tae????

you: taeeeeeeee

you: TAEHYUNG

He doesn’t reply anymore.

You groan, shoving your phone on your back pocket again, and leave the restroom. The guests hadn’t arrived yet since the wedding ceremony is still ongoing, but the kitchen is already a mess: people yelling orders, the delicious scent of good food in the air, cooks cooking (duh) and waiters getting ready. The boss has already given you the last instructions, but it’s not as if working in an event like this is a difficult task: serve the guests, smile, be polite, walk around the hall, try not to break the crystal glasses that cost more than what you can pay.

The hotel is pretty fancy, actually. You were expecting a smaller wedding. Not that this is a problem, of course. The only problem here are the heels that all women are forced to use; it’s not too high, but walking around endlessly the whole night in these will be painful for sure. The rest of the uniform is that standard - black pants, white button shirt, black vest and bow tie, hair tied in a perfect high bun, simple makeup.

You walk to the hall to make the last adjustments in the decoration. Pretty much everything is in place, so there isn’t much to do. The tables are organized, the floor is pristinely clean, the white flower bouquets are in place. A DJ will be in charge of music tonight.

You stand at the back of the hall, almost hidden, just to check your phone once more; no new texts. Now, you can’t stop thinking about what Taehyung wants to ask. He knows you’d get all curious. You and Taehyung have grown closer these days: late phone calls, endless texts, random memes at random times. You hadn’t gone on a proper date yet, though - and you don’t think you want to.

Taehyung is a nice guy and a good friend, but you don’t want to take things to the next level - even though this seems to be Taehyung’s intention since the beginning. He has been insisting in you for quite a long time now meanwhile all you do is keep a certain distance. You didn’t really give him any real hopes yet and you’re afraid that Taehyung might be reading your actions in the wrong way. Truth be told, it’ll be so shitty of you to keep his hopes high when you won’t go anywhere with this.

Your feelings are all messed up.

Because you shouldn’t even be feeling anything in the first place.

Ironically, you’ve never been friends with benefits with anyone before. You did have some fuck buddies in the past, though - but you were never friends with any of them. You never got involved with any of your actual friends. Sure, there was that night when drunk-you and drunk-Jimin made out at a party (you don’t talk about it), but at that time, you had just joined college and neither you nor Jungkook were close to Jimin yet, so it doesn’t really count. Also, you and Jimin never had sex - you just kissed, nothing more.

But of course dumb you had to be friends with benefits with your best fucking friend. Of course you had to destroy your friendship like that. Everyone knows that sex is a friendship destroyer. Everyone!

One month without Jungkook felt like being in the desert without rain. You have good friends, but none of them are that special person that’s somehow able to read you mind and understand you even if you don’t say anything. None of them know the type of meme you’d laugh at, none of them sent you random snaps at random times of the day. Worst of all - you didn’t watch Endgame together, when you’ve been watching every Marvel film together ever since you both started obsessing over heroes years ago. Every. Single. Marvel. Film.

You didn’t get to see Jungkook crying during the last scenes of Endgame. Jimin didn’t say if he cried or not, but you know he cried.

That’s devastating.

Truth be told, you don’t even miss sex. Sure, you and Jungkook are the perfect match in bed, and you caught yourself masturbating at night wishing it were Jungkook’s fingers inside of you instead (touching yourself has never been so depressing), but what you actually miss to the point it hurts your chest are the small, familiar things. The comfortable silence. The funny banter. Going to Burger King together late at night after a party or when none of you want to cook. Showing each other funny videos or discussing about the latest chapter of the manga you’re both reading. Jungkook ignoring your texts for hours because he’s too focused on playing Overwatch. You even miss the way he never lets you eat the last slice of pizza, goddammit.

You simply miss him.

What leads you to another thought - something that has been growing stronger in your mind.

After days of self denial, you finally admitted that you were jealous of Jungkook and Joy.

There’s no other explanation for the way you acted that day at her house. You were mad that she was touching him and getting too close. That’s weird. You’ve never really been the jealous type. You never minded when people tried to flirt with Jungkook.

You’re not jealous of friends.

Even so, you had a jealousy attack and didn’t rest until Jungkook’s attention was yours again.

Being totally honest with yourself, you’ve been jealous of Joy ever since you found out she was interested in him.

…what the fuck?

Something inside of you have changed, and only now you’re brave enough to admit. Somewhere along the road, you stopped seeing Jungkook as just a friend. He’s currently in that blurry and confusing level - not only a friend, but at the same time, not more than a friend. You don’t know what the fuck he is anymore.

More importantly… do you want to be more than friends?

If you and Jungkook make up, will you be able to go back to what it was - just friends?

Or are you just being possessive? Did you start seeing him in a different way just because you realized you’re about to lose him?

You don’t know the answer to none of those questions. What you know at the moment is that being away from him fucking hurts. You have the same friends, go to the same places, study at the same university, but barely see each other anymore. What’s that thing people say? You just start valuing things after you lose them.

Jimin asked you not to play with Jungkook’s feelings. What he doesn’t know, though, is that you’re so confused about yours that you don’t have time to play with his feelings.

When you realize the guests are about to come, you force your brain to focus on your current task. You stand back with the rest of the waiters as, slowly, the elegant guests get into the hall, sitting at their respective tables, and soon the place is filled with conversation, laughter and music.

After everyone took their places, the main couple finally come.

The lights change. The DJ plays a special song. Guests stand up and applaud when they enter the hall, smiling, and walk to the center to have their first dance as a married couple.

You could have noticed how the bride’s dress was beautiful. You could have noticed how her front teeth was dirty with lipstick and how the groom tried to discreetly tell her about this. You could have even noticed how one of the kids was starting to have a tantrum and his mother half-screamed, half-whispered, if you don’t be quiet you’ll be grounded for one month!

But you don’t notice any of that, because the photographer enters the hall right after the couple does.

Your heart flutters in a funny way.

Jungkook is wearing a suit (you don’t even remember the last time you saw him in a suit); black and simple, but it fits him so well. He isn’t much different from all the other man, except for his long hair - his black hair is so long he can probably tie it now - and his ear piercings. He holds his camera to eye level, capturing every moment he can from the couple’s first dance, a backpack with other tools hanging from his shoulder.

Everyone else is focusing on the couple - but you can’t look at anything else but him.

He looks so handsome and focused and hot and-

Hey, you’re here to work!, you remind yourself angrily, shaking your head and walking back to the kitchen.

Drink after drink, tray after tray - you and the other waiters and waitresses walk around the hall to serve the guests. It’s not a difficult work, but still tiring nevertheless. It’s also hard to balance yourself and the trays with these high heels. Soon, you’re immersed in the work and momentarily forget about everything else, although (unconsciously) you try to avoid being seen by a specific someone.

Time passes by and the party goes on. Parents make heartfelt speeches, everyone cries. The DJ plays popular songs and soon the dancefloor is full. Alcohol already starts to get into their heads. Men are either speaking and laughing too loud or crying, hugging the groom. Women already forgot their high heels and their elegance, twerking shamelessly and screaming. Kids do the usual - run, yell, fall and cry - and they almost throw you on the ground twice. Someone spills champagne on the floor; you rush to clean it before someone ends up slipping. There’s the eventual noise of glass breaking. A certain dude has asked for your help far too much and you start to avoid him, noticing that he’s staring at your ass. Another guest pukes and is taken to the infirmary. As usual, you hear old women complaining about the food, how the decoration is ugly, how one waiter was rude, how the DJ doesn’t play the songs they want-

“The photographer is so hot! What’s his name?!” You hear someone giggling.

You gulp.

Jungkook is just doing his job, but that boy can’t go unnoticed, not even when he tries. You don’t know if he saw you yet, and honestly, you hope he didn’t.

Just do your job. Just do your job.

The night goes on. Your left foot hurts and you need to pee, but gladly most of the guests have already left - the groom and bride left first and the party went on without them -, the hall is almost empty, which means it’s almost ending. Now, you busy yourself with cleaning the hall.

“Man, I’m dead,” Hoseok groans, stretching his back. You nod, putting some empty glasses on a tray to take them back to the kitchen.

“Now imagine bearing it all in heels,” you say, not being able to keep your nice posture anymore. Not that there are many guests anyway - most are too drunk or sleeping on the tables. The DJ is still diligently playing, though.

“The night was productive after all,” Jimin chirps happily, approaching you two with a smug grin on his lips. You see he’s holding a small paper between his fingers… someone’s phone number.

“Son of a bitch,” you say under your breath. Jimin just shrugs and smirks. Much obviously, you apologized for your rudeness before you came. The fact that he forgave you so easily made everything worse, honestly. Jimin is a nice guy with his friends (way too nice for his own good sometimes) and it just shows how he doesn’t deserve to be treated in a rude way.

“I’m just taking the chances life gives me!” He chirps again, making you roll your eyes.

“Anyways, what’s wrong with Jungkook?” Hoseok wonders, crossing his arms and frowning. “He didn’t come over the entire night. Is he avoiding us?”

You gulp.

Instantly, your eyes travel to where he stands in the nearly-empty dance floor. He smiles politely to some women that stand around him. Everyone’s obviously too drunk and they’re probably talking nonsense.

He’s avoiding me, you realize sadly.

“He’s working, Hoseok. His job won’t end if the guests keep asking for pictures.” Jimin is quick to say, what indeed makes sense, but Jimin also knows very well why he has been keeping his distance. Hoseok is the only one that doesn’t notice the strange tension in the air.

When you notice you’ve been staring for an embarrassing long time, you immediately shift your gaze to the dirty plates in front of you, organizing them in a pile to take them to the kitchen. You came here to work. That’s it. Focus-

An excited scream tears the air.

“I loooove this song!” One of the girls on the dance floor scream, the one that has been clinging on Jungkook ever since the crowd started to dissipate. Much obviously tipsy, her eyes were glued on him the entire night (not that you’ve been noticing the people checking him out. Of course not). “Jungkookie, dance with me!”

You almost gasp.

Jungkookie?!

That’s when you finally notice the face Jungkook is making - and you try your best not to laugh.

He has that look that means oh my fucking God someone please take me out of this situation.

The two boys by your side don’t try to hide the laughter as well as you, watching the desperate Jungkook try to turn her offer down - an awkward smile, eyes shifting from her, a muttered apology (I still have some work to do…) but the thirsty girl is surprisingly insistent (you can stop for a little bit, come on!).

“I feel sorry for him,” Hoseok almost chokes as he tries to stop his giggles. You kind of feel sorry, too. He can’t be rude to a customer, otherwise he’d be punched by her relatives - not that Jungkook would be rude anyway. He steps back, scratches the back of his neck. The girl is almost climbing him. He looks around desperately, trying to find a way to escape-

“Why don’t you help him, Y/N?” Jimin says sweetly.

You side eye the sugar-coated snake you call friend. “Jimin.” Is all you say in a warning manner.

Someone that doesn’t understand the situation wouldn’t think anything weird, because you’re actually used to save Jungkook from crazy girls. The thing is, sometimes he’s too nice to turn girls down - and yes, girls do chase him. When he’s not interested in them, you’d usually understand the situation and run on his rescue, most times pretending to be his girlfriend so the girls would stop bothering him. It’s something funny and you’d always laugh your asses off right after.

Not now.

You definitely don’t want to laugh now.

Jimin is being far from innocent. He just wants to push you two into each other. He may have good intentions, but he’s not considering the fact that you don’t feel ready to face Jungkook - not when your feelings are so messed up. This ain’t happening.

“Yeah, Y/N. Jungkook looks pretty desperate,” Hoseok remarks, again, oblivious to the tension lingering in the air.

“Jungkook can handle himself very well. He doesn’t need my help.” Even though Jimin feels your menacing glare and sees your jaw clench, this boy is very brave and insists:

“Come on, Y/N! It won’t hurt.” He says innocently.

Yes, it will hurt. It already hurts, dumbass.

“Did you guys forget that we’re here to work? I don’t want to be reprimanded.”

“The hall is near empty. There’s literally nothing to do anymore.” Hoseok doesn’t understand why you’re glaring at him now.

You’re trying to control your nerves, but it’s getting hard not to feel your stomach jump in a weird way and your fingertips tremble. Just the idea of approaching him makes you weak, and not in a good way. Why these people can’t just leave you alone?!

“Do you think that avoiding him forever will work?” Jimin hisses on your ear, low enough so only you can listen, finally showing how pissed he really is.

What he says gets you.

Avoiding each other isn’t working, you know this very well. You remember the way you used to deal with things in the past - talking. Sure, you won’t be able to really talk right now, but at least you’ll have a chance to approach him.

You don’t want to. You really don’t. But at the same time, you want to. You miss Jungkook.

Besides, he can’t run away from you in this situation.

You take a deep breath and gulp, trying to ease the tension. Come on. I know Jungkook. He’s the same bastard I’ve known my whole life. Stop being a pussy. I’m not a pussy!

“Just to make clear,” you whisper back to Jimin. “I fucking hate you.”

“You love me.” You wish you could rip that triumphant smirk off his face.

You walk over to the dance floor.

The few couples dance slowly and intimately. Because of course it had to be a slow dance. Of course it had to be a romantic song. Haha. Of course. The Universe must be playing some trick on you.

Jungkook managed to run away from the girl, trying to hide in the corner of the hall, and she’s searching for him like a hawk. You wonder if she’s this drunk or if she’s just stupid. A guy literally running away from you isn’t already a message enough?

You walk quickly to where he stands, and the moment Jungkook turns around and lays his eyes on you, shock covers his features.

“Y/N-?”

“Quick, dance with me,” you say hurriedly, placing his hands on your waist. “She’s coming.”

Instead of questioning, Jungkook immediately starts to play along as you place your own hands on his shoulders. You discreetly watch when the girl finally finds you.

She stops on her tracks.

“She saw us?” He asks without looking back.

“Yes.”

“And?”

You see fire in her eyes.

“If she had a gun, she’d probably shoot me.” The girl looks outraged that you stole her chance to grind on him. “Oh, she’s turning away.”

Jungkook sighs in relief. “Thanks God. She’s been bothering me all night!” You can’t help but giggle.

For a millisecond, it feels like nothing has changed.

But then you look at each other for the first time.

It might be dramatic, but you almost feel that the temperature drops around you.

Oh shit.

You avoid each other’s gazes at the same time. It feels so tremendously awkward to be in front of him again - especially when you’re slow dancing in the dim light of the hall, almost hidden. It feels uncomfortably intimate. Especially because you’re both keeping a distance that normal couples wouldn’t. You probably look like a weird couple at a prom party that were forced to dance together.

It feels foreign.

The way you touch each other doesn’t feel right. You have touched each other in the most intimate and obscene ways, yet the simple touch of his hands on your waist doesn’t feel right. Despite this, you feel your blood boiling with a strange type of excitement; you missed him so damn much. Even in this uncomfortable situation, you can’t help but feel a little bit happy. You didn’t know you’ve been craving for his touch so much up until now.

What’s weird is that you don’t even feel like this in a sexual way. You’re not aroused. Considering how your relationship became strictly sexual these past months, your lack of arousal to be around him is weird.

The butterflies in your stomach and the way your hands are shaking a little bit is also weird.

For some moments, you just sway from side to side in an overwhelming silence. You have no choice but to listen intently to the song being played. As if you already don’t feel fucked up enough, you’re forced to listen to a love song - an 80s love song on top of that. Of course it has to be Is This Love by Whitesnake. Of course. Haha.

“Uhm… thanks.” Jungkook finally breaks the silence. His voice lacks confidence. He probably never talked to you like this.

“Just helping out a friend,” you say and instant regret smashes you. You don’t know if he’s still your friend.

Jungkook looks scarily annoyed for a second. “A friend. Sure.”

Is it inappropriate to notice how he looks handsome when he clenches his jaw?

Honestly, has Jungkook always been this handsome?

Sure, he has always been like this. Maybe not seeing him in a long time made you feel this way. His hair has grown a lot. He looks extra fine in this suit. Every man looks better in a suit, but Jungkook looks like a deity.

The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy.

You did miss him a lot.

The silence makes you pay attention to the song again.

Wasted days and sleepless nights

But I can’t wait to see you again…

Hah, I know how it feels, you think - what makes you widen your eyes, shocked with your own thoughts. No. You won’t suddenly relate to a cliche 80s love song.

Right?

“H-How’s school going?” You stutter. Are you trying to do small talk? For real?

“It’s doing fine,” he simply says. Oh fuck. Not good. He sounds so uninterested in your weak attempt at engaging a conversation it hurts. You came here to try and talk about what really matters, but you don’t feel ready to do it yet. Can’t he understand it?!

It looks like your presence bothers him, honestly.

That’s new.

Wow. Your heart suddenly feels clenched.

Awkward.

Why am I feeling this way?

A heavy silence weighs on you again. This isn’t going as planned - not that you planned anything in the first place. You’re going through a lot of weird sensations now.

Why is that?

You look at Jungkook timidly (timid and Jungkook are two words that used to not make any sense together in the past), but he doesn’t look back. You avoid his gaze again.

Being hit by a truck would hurt less.

What’s happening?

Why are you so damn confused?

When the song hits its chorus, you start to think the Universe is definitely playing with you. The deep voice of the singer floats in the air:

Is this love

That I’m feeling?

Is this the love

That I’ve been searching for?

Fuck you, Whitesnake.

For real.

Fuck. You.

“Did Taehyung ask you?”

This brings you back to reality in an instant.

“What?” You look at him, confused. Why is he talking about Taehyung of all people out of nowhere?

You’ve always been very good at reading Jungkook, but right now, he’s unreadable.

“So he didn’t.” He says blatantly, devoid of any emotion. “I thought he would have already.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He talked to me about a double date.” Jungkook replies, looking back at you for the first time - again, a blank face. “You and him, me and Joy.”

Your blood honestly feels like frost.

It’s like you lost the ability to move or talk for a moment. You blink and gulp, trying to keep composed.

“What? Why?”

“Because he said it’d be fun. And less awkward, since I’m not very close to Joy yet and you’re not very close to him.”

Again, you don’t say anything for long seconds.

“But we’d just be cockblocking each other during the whole date,” you say.

“I know. I think the idea of a double date sounds weird, too. It’s not as if we don’t know them.”

You remember what Taehyung texted you earlier today; he said he’d ask something later. Is he going to ask you out?

He thinks that, since you and Jungkook are best friends, you could ease the tension and even help each other out.

This is so fucked up.

The immediate answer that comes to your mind is no. You don’t want to go on a date with Taehyung when you’re not interested in him. It’d be cruel; you don’t want to keep his hopes high.

But as you’re about to say it, you stop.

What if Jungkook wants to go?

All this time, you’ve only been considering your feelings. Your confusion, your wishes - it’s always about you. You don’t know if you want to be just Jungkook’s friend, but you don’t know if he wants to be more than a friend - or if he wants to be your friend at all. The fuck buddies thing started because you asked. Not even once did you think about him.

Is this what Jimin meant when he asked you to not play with Jungkook’s feelings?

How selfish you’ve been acting all this time?

What if he’s been developing feelings for Joy and now decided to try something? He’s probably feeling hurt because you’ve not been acting like a good friend. You’re always putting yourself first.

That’s why you hear yourself asking:

“Do you want to go?”

It’s scary how every tiny little piece of you wishes he’ll say no.

But Jungkook tilts his head and says:

“Yes. I know it sounds weird, but we can part ways as soon as we get there.”

And this is the moment you feel as cold as you’ve never felt in your life.

It’s as if your ears got obstructed for a moment, because you can’t hear anything but your heartbeat. You can’t even see properly for a second. Yet, you ignore all that, gulp and nod.

It’s time to be a good friend for once.

It’s time to put Jungkook’s wishes first - even though it crushes your heart.

“Okay.” You say quietly.

You’re coming to the conclusion that you’re a walking disaster.

You’ve never been so nervous before a date in your life - but this is not the usual type of nervousness, when people are excited to meet their crush and impress them etc etc. You’re nervous because you don’t want to go. You thought of coming up with a thousand excuses (from the classical “I’m sick :(” to “Seulgi’s sick I gotta take care of her :(” to “my cat’s sick :(” but then you remembered you don’t have a cat to “I’m being chased by the police and I gotta leave the country :(”), but in the end, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.

Not when Taehyung sounded so painfully happy when you said you’d go.

That’s why you should have said no: Taehyung doesn’t deserve this. He’s a good person and he will certainly get hurt when you tell him you’re not interested. Who cares about Jungkook? That fucker can go on a date by himself, he’s not a kid anymore.

But…

There’s something very tiny and mean inside of you called jealousy that didn’t let you simply text an honest apology to Taehyung.

And now it’s too late, because he’s standing at your door.

Handsome as always, Taehyung wears casual clothes: it’s almost as if he didn’t put much thought on it, but he still looks drop dead gorgeous on his black baggy pants, white shirt and black beret (no other man in this planet can manage to not look stupid in a beret other than Taehyung). As usual, your brain malfunctions as it tries to process his beauty.

He has a small, beautiful smile on his lips.

Shit.

“You look beautiful,” he says, and he sounds like he means it. You did put some effort on your clothes, makeup and hair after all. Being complimented by him feels nice.

Shit.

“Thanks. You too, but that’s just your usual self,” you say thoughtlessly and instant regret slaps your face again. Yes, bitch. Flirt with him. Make things more difficult.

Taehyung looks shy for a moment. The sight is endearing.

S. H. I. T.

“You’re just being nice to me.” He tilts his head. “So, let’s go?"

It’s too late to go back now, so you have no choice but to take his arm and show your most plastic smile. "Yeah.”

You’re definitely a walking disaster.

You two arrive in the park first and, instead of just showing your tickets and getting in, you’re forced to wait for the bastard and his hot date.

An amusement park of all places.

Not that you hate amusement parks, it’s pretty much the opposite. It’s just that everything feels so wrong. Especially how Taehyung is making a lot of effort to keep the conversation alive while you wait. It’s not hard to talk to him, though, because he’s an interesting person, but seeing his efforts hurts.

What hurts more is the sight of Jungkook and Joy arriving with locked arms.

You hope Taehyung didn’t notice you holding your breath.

Joy looks hot as always, but you don’t even look at her (yes, it’s not nice to be mad at someone that didn’t do anything wrong), eyes glued on Jungkook instead. Just like Taehyung, it seems that he didn’t put much thought on his clothes, only their styles are completely different: Jungkook wears an oversized grey t-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It might seem simple, but he can manage to look good in anything. Joy surely didn’t mind his choice of clothes.

You lock gazes for one second and proceed to avoid it.

The four of you greet. It’s hard to act natural, but you try to; you don’t want the two others to notice the weird tension between you and the black-haired bastard. Joy looks happy, too.

…

Shit.

Soon, you get into the amusement park. As expected, it’s crowded with kids, families and couples. The weather feels nice this afternoon.

“It’s been a long time since I don’t come to an amusement park,” you confess.

“Really? Then this was a good choice. I was worried if it’d be too cheesy…” he also confesses sheepishly.

“It’s not!” You reassure him. Joy agrees with you. Jungkook keeps silent. “I just have some traumatizing memories about amusement parks.”

Taehyung quirks one eyebrow. “What?”

You sigh.

You and Jungkook end up saying in unison:

“5th grade.”

You look at each other and avoid your gazes again.

“What? What happened on 5th grade?” Joy asks excitedly.

“Our school came to an amusement park that year,” Jungkook explains.

“Why was it traumatizing?” Taehyung still seems confused.

“Because… well…” you hesitate to say.

“Because she was so short back then that they didn’t let her go on the rollercoasters. And she cried the whole trip,” Jungkook suddenly says.

You glare at him.

He has a playful smirk on his lips.

“Oh, so what about you?” You can’t help but smile, too.

“What happened to him?” Joy asks.

“He laughed at me because I couldn’t ride, but he puked his lunch after he went on the coaster and spent half of the trip in the infirmary,” you reveal.

“You’re still bitter that you stayed with me in the infirmary?” He inquires.

“Of course I am! Also, you puked on my shoes!”

“I already apologized. Besides, I paid you banana milk for two entire weeks. Isn’t it enough?”

“It isn’t!”

“Are you saying that banana milk isn’t enough?!” He gasps. “You psycho.”

You both giggle.

Again, for one moment, it feels that everything is back to normal. You feel comfortable having these old memories, as if you never stopped being best friends, as if you have the intimacy to play like this again.

But it’s only for one moment.

You avoid gazes. It feels so out of place.

At least the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes shows that he feels the same about this all.

Before the tension between you two can become too strong, you change the topic and engage both Taehyung and Joy in the conversation - during that moment, you two forgot about them. As wrong as it is, Taehyung is your date for the night. He’s the one you should pay attention to.

So you try to completely ignore Jungkook’s existence for a while.

You only look at Taehyung and don’t even touch your phone. You answer his questions and ask things about him. It doesn’t feel like a punishment, though, because he is an interesting person and you genuinely enjoy his company.

But you can’t help but look at Jungkook from time to time.

You can’t help but notice his smiley-eyes as he looks at her. You can’t help but see their closure.

You can’t help but feel your heart clenching.

And then, you see yourself locking your arm with Taehyung’s.

“What’s that?” You say excitedly. “I wanna see it!”

You drag Taehyung away from the other couple until they disappear in the crowd. Only then you remember how to breathe again.

Considering all the odds, this going better than you expected.

You tried your best to completely erase Jungkook’s and Joy’s existence from your mind, and at some point it finally worked. Taehyung is a funny guy to be around. There’s something very particular and endearing about his personality that captivates you; he’s obviously trying to impress you, but he’s still being very honest. He has some type of innocence that makes you realize that this guy is seriously one of a kind. You can’t think of a single sign that he might be a bad person.

You’re genuinely enjoy this.

But not in the way Taehyung expects you to be enjoying it.

As wrong as it is, you unconsciously end up comparing him to Jungkook.

If Jungkook was your date, the first thing you’d both want to do is try all the rollercoasters and the wildest rides in this park. But Taehyung is scared of heights. You didn’t want to make the boy vomit his own stomach, so you ended up avoiding it - even though you really wanted to go on that orange coaster that looks high as fuck.

Taehyung didn’t really get your jokes. The fact that he still laughed politely is cute, but still - Jungkook and you have the same sense of humor. You two like the same stupid type of meme. It felt strange when you had to explain more than once a certain joke so Taehyung could understand.

Taehyung didn’t know your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite soda. He doesn’t know the kind of movie you like, nor your favorite series, nor your favorite singers. You know you’re being stupid - the whole point of going on a date is to get to know each other, but every now and then you end up remembering how Jungkook knows every dumb detail about you…

What makes you realize that, as much as Taehyung is an amazing guy, you are too different from each other.

What also makes you realize that, maybe… you don’t really want to get to know anyone else.

And suddenly, an image starts to build in your mind - an image you try very hard to erase, but it’s already too strong to be forgotten.

Instead of Taehyung, you arm is locked with Jungkook’s. You’re both laughing and having fun, just like things used to be. Only now you’re not just friends.

It’s the first time in all these years that you see yourself dating Jungkook clearly. Painfully clearly.

The cotton candy you’re eating suddenly tastes like iron on your tongue. You feel your throat tightening. All of this became painful. The fact that you’re trying so hard to forget Jungkook for a few minutes, yet he’s everything you can think of. The fact that he’s in the same park as you having a date with another girl - said girl that is a friend, by the way, someone you encouraged to be with Jungkook, and now you’re hating her existence even though she did nothing wrong, all because of jealousy. There’s also the fact that Jungkook is much obviously avoiding you.

And the most painful fact of all-

“Are you okay, YN?” Taehyung asks, the smile vanishing from his lips the moment he sees your expression.

The fact that this incredible person likes you much more than you expected. It’s obvious now that you look at his eyes. He really likes you - a funny, smart and special guy, someone that didn’t check his phone not even once ever since this date started, someone that has been trying his hardest to make sure you’re having fun, a guy that is usually very confident, but at the moment looks very uneasy around you.

He’s the perfect guy. He wasn’t disrespectful, wasn’t trying to get into your pants, treated you very well. You went on dates that were far worse than this. There was nothing wrong with him. You’re also sure he’d be a loving and caring boyfriend.

But all you can think of is Jungkook.

And even though you knew this date wouldn’t work, you still accepted to come anyway. You kept Taehyung’s hopes high. Just because you were jealous.

You’re definitely the worst person on this planet.

But this has to end before Taehyung gets more hurt.

“I’m not feeling very well,” you hear yourself saying. Worry covers Taehyung’s features. “What’s the problem? Was it something you ate? Do you want to go to the infirmary?”

Damn. It hurts to see him like this.

“No. Can you… can you just take me home, please?” You ask sheepishly.

If Taehyung feels disappointed, he doesn’t let you see; he just nods instead. “Okay. Let’s go.”

And this is how you managed to destroy a perfectly fine night.

You still try not to think of Jungkook and Joy on your way back home; you don’t want to know if they’re still in the park or if they went somewhere else. The idea of what they must be doing makes your stomach twirl in a bad way. It feels like a weight installed itself on your shoulders. Everything seems too oppressive and suffocating. You can’t wait to be alone and peaceful to process all of these feelings. Fortunately, Seulgi isn’t home - she went to sleep at a friend’s house to finish a project.

For the first time, being with Taehyung feels awkward as you walk to the front door of your apartment. You can see he isn’t exactly glad. It makes everything worse.

You stop in front of the door and you turn around to face him. Everything you have to say must be said now.

“I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” You say in an embarrassed tone, scratching the back of your neck. “I ruined everything.”

“What? No!” He’s quick to reassure. God, his eyes are beautiful… “It’s not your fault. People feel ill, that’s normal.”

You gulp. Oh Gosh. He believed what you said. This is getting worse and worse… “I had a lot of fun today. Really.” You sigh and tilt your head tiredly. “Honestly, it was the most fun I had in a long time…”

“I had a lot of fun, too.” His smile is able to melt any frozen heart. “I noticed that you had a lot in mind, so I’m glad I was able to distract you at least a little.”

It gets you off guard.

He’s way more observant than you expected.

“You noticed…?” You gulp, even more embarrassed. He nods. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s fine. Everyone has a bad day every now and then. I just have to admit that I’m kind of worried about you.”

You stare at each other in silence for a while.

“Are you?” Why suddenly all you can do is make stupid questions?

Taehyung tilts his head. “Yes. You’re always such a bright person. Seeing you being quiet these days makes me sad.” First of all: did people start to realize that there’s something wrong with you? Are you acting this weird?

Second of all: that was adorable. He’s so honest about his feelings.

“To be honest, Taehyung… I’m not really a bright person,” you end up confessing in a quiet, weak voice. You don’t know why you’re saying this. You were supposed to push him away, not pull him closer. “I think I’m just used to pretend I am.”

“You don’t have to,” your eyes widen when you feel his fingertips brushing on your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not. To suppress this type of feeling… it hurts. Believe me, I know.” For a moment, you feel your breath hitch. The skin where his fingers touched feels warm. He’s mesmerizing. His voice sounds like a sweet melody on your ears: deep, silky. “So, if you ever feel like opening up… I’m here, okay?” He widens his eyes for a second. “I-I mean- you can open up to Seulgi or Jungkook or Jimin, sure… anyone.”

This moment of shyness coming from him makes you giggle. “I don’t feel like opening up to anyone right now,” especially not to you, you think. “but thank you, Tae. It… it makes me really happy. I’m glad I went on this date with you.”

You shouldn’t have said that.

You shouldn’t have called him Tae.

Even though you’re saying the truth and there’s no second intentions hidden, Taehyung hears something else.

His hand is still resting on your cheek.

And he says nothing.

He just… stares right into your eyes.

You can’t move.

You clearly see when his face starts coming closer and closer to yours, slowly but surely. You see his heavy-lidded eyes, his clouded gaze, his parted lips. You feel the thick tension in the air around you - the electricity.

That’s when you should have pushed him away.

But you can’t.

Instead, you unconsciously close your eyes. You feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second - until his lips finally touch yours.

The kiss is suave - gentle and delicate. He doesn’t move his lips at first, merely pressing his against yours. Your body warms up in a way you haven’t felt in a long time; not because of arousal. It’s the pure excitement of being kissed.

Maybe that’s why you let him kiss you. You had forgotten how it feels like to be touched without any sexual intention. Kisses are too intimate, so you and Jungkook didn’t really kiss that often - and when you did kiss, it was always heated and obscene, tongues entangling wildly until both of you could barely breathe. It’s been a long time since someone kissed and held you like this: with gentleness and care. Taehyung isn’t treating you like a sex toy.

You melt.

Your lips part as he deepens the kiss; he is undemanding, careful and delicate. His lips taste like lip balm. No one is fighting for control, no one is desperate. It’s slow and synchronized. It’s sweet and innocent. Most importantly - it’s way different than you ever expected it to be. You never thought he’d kiss like this.

When Taehyung pulls away, the purest smile adorns his features.

“I’m sorry.” He says quietly, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “I should have asked permission.”

“It’s okay.” And it really is. You shouldn’t, but you liked it.

“I'll… I’ll get going.” He says, the smile never disappearing. His eyes are also smiling. He stands there awkwardly in an adorable manner. “Can I text you later?”

“Sure.” You nod. “Good night. And thank you again.”

Taehyung grins. “Good night.”

Before leaving, he presses his lips on yours quickly one last time.

You watch until he disappears inside the elevator, entering the apartment and standing there alone in the dark for a few seconds.

Then you unceremoniously slam your forehead against the wooden door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You hiss between gritted teeth. “What have you done?!”

You were supposed to push him away. You should have told him the truth - that you don’t have feelings for him, that you’re confused and almost certainly in love with another guy. Instead, you just stood there and let him kiss you. You not only kept his hopes high, you increased them.

How will you get yourself out of this situation now?!

You throw yourself on the couch, grab a cushion and scream into it. I’m the worst of the worst. I’m a walking catastrophe.

For a long time, you just lay there and torture yourself with bad thoughts. Taehyung is the nicest guy you’ve met in a really long time. If you gave him the opportunity months ago, you’re sure you’d be dating right now - and the idea isn’t even unpleasant. He’s hot and smart and funny and sweet. It’s even hard to believe that someone like him is interested in you.

But…

No. Don’t think about him.

You want to punch yourself and scream and eat tons of ice cream and cry - all at once. You’re the queen of taking bad decisions. You’re the heart crusher and friendship destroyer-

There’s someone knocking on the front door.

You sit up in a jump and frown. Is it Seulgi? Did she forget her keys?

You walk slowly around the living room, defeated as if you’ve just came home from war, your hair a mess and shoulders shrinking. You turn the doorknob and open it-

And gasp.

Because standing at your front door is the person you least expected to see.

Jungkook is casually leaning on the door frame as if his presence didn’t make you burst a lung. He looks down, eyes avoiding yours; although the hallway is considerably dark, you can see his expression well. You know him too well. You see sadness and guilt and fear in his eyes.

Your heart beats so fast that you’re afraid it’ll stop suddenly. Nervousness crawls over your skin and makes your stomach feel cold.

“J-Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You’re brave enough to stutter. You completely forgot that Jungkook used to come over so often that you gave him full permission to enter and leave the building whenever he wanted.

He doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he lifts his left hand and shows you what he’s carrying: a plastic bag full with a pack of…

Banana milk.

“I think we really need to talk.” He says quietly, his eyes meeting yours for the first time.

You inhale sharply.

He’s right. You need to talk.

The cold night breeze makes you tighten your coat around your body. Yours and Jungkook’s hairs sway softly with the wind. You can hear the sounds of the city from up here, in the empty terrace - cars, sirens, voices. A glowing map of endless streets and buildings extends itself in front of your eyes.

You’re both leaning on the railing side by side. You’re hyper aware of the distance between you - both physical and… spiritual. You’ve been standing here in silence for quite some time now, quietly drinking the banana milk he brought, and none of you were able to engage a conversation. The tension is heavy. It overwhelms your whole being. Nervousness makes your nerves tense. You can’t even look at him.

Dozens of questions float around your mind; what is he doing here? Why did he decide to come in the first place? What happened to his date? It’s still very early, he could have stayed with her much longer…

You also can’t help but feel helplessly excited that he is here. With you. Not with Joy. He took the initiative to meet you.

You can’t lose this opportunity.

“It’s kinda cold.” Is the first thing you say. It doesn’t even sound like you.

“Yeah.” He agrees, and he also doesn’t sound like him.

The awkwardness is almost solid right now. Things used to be so different… you can’t remember one moment in the past when such an uncomfortable feeling lingered between you.

“Hm…” you cough. “What, hm… what about you and Joy?”

Why the fuck are you asking this?, you yell at yourself.

Jungkook looks down and shakes his head. “Let’s not talk about Joy or Taehyung right now, okay?”

You shrug. “I’m just trying to start a conversation.”

“That’s not how you do it.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do it anymore.”

Jungkook goes silent with this, the quick aggressiveness disappearing as soon as it came. He gulps and looks down at the banana milk between his fingers again.

More silence.

“Can I… can I ask you something?” Jungkook says after a long while. His voice is quiet, hesitant, almost being carried away with the wind.

“What?” You feel your body heating up in anticipation.

He finally looks up to you, and in the moment your eyes meet, you have this weird feeling that everything except him looks blurred.

“Why did you start dating Mike?” He asks. “I warned you about him. I mean, you used to listen to me in the past.”

Oh.

Certainly not the type of question you were expecting.

What a mood killer, Jungkook.

You avoid his gaze again, trying to hide your disappointment. “Why are you asking me this now?”

“I just really want to know.” He takes one more sip of the banana milk.

A sigh escapes through your lips and you stare at the shiny city ahead. You didn’t think you’d have to bring up memories of Mike. It’s been a long time, but it still hurts to remember him.

“I… I just…” you start, trying to organize your thoughts. “You know that Mike had like a… bad relationship with his parents, right?” Jungkook nods. “Mike opened up about this to me. I saw how much it hurt him. He was lonely, broken. And I…” this is being way harder than you expected. You shrug, shake your head. “I don’t know. I was just being my stupid self. I thought I could… I wanted to fix him. I realized that I have this heroine complex, you know?” You side eye him sheepishly. “But there are a lot of things I can’t fix… I’m better at breaking things, not fixing them.”

“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people.” The confidence in which Jungkook says this makes, yet again, an odd sensation set in your stomach.

It is probably the first time Jungkook managed to make you blush in your entire life.

A little more silence.

“Did you actually like him?” You can barely hear his voice.

You have no idea why he’s making this questions. Why is he bringing up Mike after so long?

“Well… yes.” You can’t lie right now. “I did.” You make sure to reinforce the did. It’s in the past.

Jungkook nods and says nothing. He takes another banana milk from the plastic bag and opens it.

You inhale, building up your courage to ask something you’ve been wanting to know for a long time. He touched this subject anyway.

“You asked me something, now it’s my turn to ask you something.” Jungkook nods. You have the feeling that he already knows what’s coming. “Why did you break up with Yeri?”

“She broke up with me.”

Oh.

“Why?” You repeat. You can see that Jungkook gets clearly uncomfortable, but you’re not letting him go without an answer - and he already knows how stubborn you can be, too. He shifts, tilts his head, exhales heavily.

“It just didn’t work out.”

“But you liked her. And she liked you, too.” It was pretty obvious to anyone that saw them together.

Jungkook takes a long while to speak again. “I did like her. A lot.” The way his voice sounds fragile surprises you. Seeing him like this is very rare. Jungkook isn’t one to get all emotional too often. It seems that confessing this to you is important to him, somehow.

It also scares you a tiny bit. What if Jungkook still likes her, just like you suspected in the past?

“I didn’t want things to end the way they did.” He continues. His eyes are far away, watching old memories. His shoulders seem tense. He fiddles with the small banana milk bottle between his fingers. “But… some things aren’t meant to be, it doesn’t matter how much you want them to.”

This answer sounds… way too vague. Not what you want to hear. You know there’s more behind their break up, but just by looking at Jungkook you see that he isn’t telling you anything else. Well, this is the most he ever said about his past relationship in almost one year. It’s better than nothing.

And back to silence.

You want to push this awkwardness away. But how? You don’t feel as close to Jungkook as you always were. It’s not as if you could simply say anything in this moment… especially because, somehow, you feel that Jungkook expects you to do something, even though he came all the way to your apartment just to talk.

Say something, goddamnit!

“I’m sorry.” you blurt out.

Jungkook looks at you, but you’re not strong enough to look back at him. You hold the tiny bottle so tightly that it might get smashed at any moment; that’s just how nervous you are.

“Sorry for what?” he asks quietly. You hear the expectation in his voice… almost as if he’s holding his breath.

You can’t help but gulp. I’m not good with this type of thing.

“For everything.” you hate the way your voice sounds so damn fragile. Being sincere like this is somehow… painful. But that’s what Jungkook expects of you: sincerity. So you keep talking, although you don’t know the right words to express yourself. “I… I don’t know why things got like this between us…” you almost gasp. “I mean, I know why. We know why. And I feel very responsible.”

“You have this habit of taking the blame to yourself, isn’t it?” He murmurs. Jungkook shakes his head softly and passes his hand on his hair.

“But I was the one to propose it in the first place.”

“And I agreed.”

“Okay, but…” you have to stop for a moment to recover your breath. “I don’t know, I just feel sorry. I didn’t think of anyone except me all along. I’ve been an awful person to you… and awful friend. Also…” you need to stop again. Why is it so hard to speak? It feels as if there’s something obstructing your throat; the words hardly come out. “What I did that day at Joy’s house… it was wrong. I’m sorry that I made you upset that day.”

Jungkook sighs heavily. You’re still scared to look at him.

“I’m sorry about that day, too. I was rude to you.” Is he apologizing for calling you a slut while you had sex in the bathroom? Well, you definitely didn’t care about that. “I feel sorry too, Y/N. The way we drifted apart from each other…” he gesticulates with his finger between you and him. “The fault is on us both. I already told you, you shouldn’t take all the responsibility to yourself. We were both stupid.”

“Very stupid.” you both chuckle. You feel your heart lightening up for a moment; that strong tension still hovers around you, but now it feels like a different type of tension. Seeing that tiny smile in Jungkook’s lips makes your heart race.

You finally look at each other.

The shadows of the night paint Jungkook’s face. His hair sways with the wind softly. His dark eyes shine as much as diamonds. You never really understood the expression “to get lost in someone’s eyes…”

Well… now you do.

The small moment you two share feels fragile… featherlight. You’re scared that if you say or do something wrong, it’ll break and disappear. You’re scared to break him. To break yourself. This makes you remember that, ever since you were kids, Jungkook has always been the most fragile of you two. He has always been the most sensitive, the one to get hurt easily. Jimin was right all along. How could you do this to him? Why did you let this happen between you two?

“I missed you.” your voice is barely a whisper. Admitting this makes you feel exposed and relieved at the same time. Your throat feels even tighter.

“I missed you, too.” he confesses.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

You smile at each other.

That’s the moment you almost confess something more… your confused feelings for him. You feel the urge to say that you don’t see him as just a friend anymore; that you don’t want to be just a friend anymore.

But something holds you back.

This is maybe the moment when you’re finally being able to reconcile. You don’t know if Jungkook feels the same about you; you don’t want to push him away by throwing your feelings over him. This might destroy you friendship forever.

Then, you decide to keep it all to yourself. At least for now.

“So,” Jungkook says, sighing. “What about that group project?”

You quirk one eyebrow up. “I’m pretty sure you know about the group project.”

Jungkook giggles. “Jimin has been annoying you, too?” you nod. He shakes his head. “He’s a little shit, isn’t he?”

“Yes. He had good intentions, at least.” You shrug.

“He could be a little more subtle, though.” You can’t help but agree. “Congratulations for getting the highest grade.”

“Thank you. Jimin also told me that you’ve been talking to some important people…”

Jungkook smiles beautifully with this. “Yes. It’s a director. He said that he likes my work and that I have talent. I think he’ll invite me to work with him as a trainee for a while.” Your eyes widen in a surprised expression.

“Really?! That’s great, Kook!” It feels so nice to call him Kook again after so long. Slowly, you feel that unbearable tension vanishing and all that’s left is you and him. Two people that know each other better than you know yourselves for most of your lives. In a matter of seconds, the distance that put you apart for months seems to disappear.

Suddenly, you feel a cold drizzle start falling over your heads. Jungkook frowns. “I think we should get down there.”

“Yes.” Before you can think better, you blurt out: “You can sleep here if you want.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that, because Jungkook’s frown deepens as he stares at you with suspicion. A shiver of fear runs down your spine. “Hey, that’s not what I mean.” You’re quick to say, waving your hands. “Before this sex thing started there was just us, remember? I… I miss us.”

Jungkook thinks for some moments, his eyes never leaving yours.

Then, a tiny smile makes its way to his lips - and you’re happy to see that the smile reaches his eyes, too. “Okay.”

“Wait- so Irene and Jennie made up?” Jungkook asks from the kitchen, surprised.

“That’s what it looks like. I mean, they did post some photos together on Instagram.” you say while adjusting the pillows and blankets on the mattress you placed in the living room. Yours’ and Seulgi’s friends come to sleep over a lot, so you’re used to do it - you even bought some spare sheets and blankets for this occasion.

“But you can’t be sure that they are together just because of some photos.”

“Yeah, but you know Seulgi. She jumped to conclusions. Being honest, they don’t look like a couple in these photos… but I don’t think there’s anything I can say that will change her mind at this point. I tried everything.”

“I don’t really think that they’ll make up this time.” Jungkook admits. You walk over to the kitchen and lean on the counter, opposite to him.

“I feel bad for her. Seulgi still loves Irene and she can’t get over it. I think it’s the first time she spends the night out in a long while… and it isn’t even to have fun. I’m worried.”

He pouts and shrugs, eyes focused in building up his sandwich. “Maybe we should just let her figure things out by herself.”

“But she’s doing nothing.”

Jungkook stops adding ketchup just to stare at you and quirk his eyebrows. “Y/N. I think I already said that you should stop trying to be a cupid, like… a million times.”

“I didn’t say I’d do something!” You do your best to sound offended.

“I know you, woman. I’ve seen this face many times. You look like an evil gremlin.”

“I don’t!” you cross your arms. You forgot how annoying it is that Jungkook knows you so well, because you did think of doing something to help her. You’re so tired of seeing you friend being sad all the time. All she does these days is watch Netflix and complain. She already started to look like a zombie at this point. No one can blame you for being concerned. “Besides, gremlins are cute.”

“You’re the only person on this planet that thinks this.” He shakes his head slightly, his hair waving in the process.

“Why did you let your hair grow so much?” You ask, resting your chin over your palm.

“Because I look good with long hair.” Jungkook shrugs, a smug smirk on his face.

“You cocky little shit.”

“Am I wrong for telling the truth?” He looks up at you again, playful. You can’t even tell he’s wrong: that long hair really matches his looks and personality.

“Hey, are you still helping Namjoon and Yoongi?” you ask when Jungkook starts to make a fourth sandwich. Yes, you guys do eat a lot.

“Yeah. I haven’t been to the studio in a few days, but they still call me whenever they need me.” Jungkook presses his lips together and shifts a little: nervousness. “I… I kind of helped them write a song.”

“Really? But you said you were just ‘lending’ them your voice to record demos.”

“Yeah, but I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.” He shifts his eyes to you then back to the sandwich very rapidly. “Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.”

“Aw, come on! I’ve been wanting to listen to your songs for so long!” you whine.

“I said maybe. When the right time comes.”

You don’t really get what he means with it.

For a while, you just sit there and watch Jungkook. He looks so carefree and relaxed; he moves around the kitchen as if it’s his own house. He knows where everything is in the cabinets. In a way, this really is his second house considering how often he comes… even when he used to come just to fuck during these past months. It feels so nice to see him not being all tensed up and uncomfortable around you anymore. He even starts to sing quietly, his voice as sweet and smooth as cotton candy filling up the entire house. You’re one of the few people that Jungkook feels confident enough to sing around. It’s almost a privilege.

You have been staring at him unceremoniously for so long that Jungkook frowns and looks back at you, frowning. “What?”

“Nothing.” You shake your head. “It’s just that… Namjoon is right. You could’ve been famous with this voice.” Jungkook smiles shyly. “And this face.” He turns around to open the fridge. “And this ass.”

He frowns. “Seriously?”

“What? I’m being honest. And don’t act like you don’t stare at my ass all the time.”

Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head in that way that means I can’t stand you.

“Done.” He claps his hands together. Four giant sandwiches, coke, popcorn and m&ms (let’s say that you and Seulgi don’t have exactly the healthier type of food at home).

“Okay. I’ll take these, get changed first if you want,” you say while taking the plates to the living room. Of course there would be some of his clothes at your place.

When Jungkook sees the clothes you chose, he stares at you with an outraged expression. “My grey hoodie!”

“…yes.”

“You said you didn’t know where it was!”

You stop and click your tongue. “…funny how I found it at the bottom of my drawer tonight, huh?”

He knows you’re lying. But you won’t tell him that slept wearing his hoodie some nights because it smelled like him. He doesn’t need to know this.

“Hoodie thief.” He says and taps your head jokingly, making his way to the bathroom. You’re wearing sleeping clothes as well - and you made sure to choose your ugliest and largest ones. You don’t want Jungkook to think you asked him to sleep here just to end up having sex.

He comes back and throws himself on the mattress by your side. You’re very aware of the immense space between you; another person could fit in here. “What are we going to watch?”

“I think I’ve watched the entire Netflix catalogue at this point because of Seulgi.” you admit, shoving popcorn inside your mouth. Jungkook takes your phone and scrolls down the Netflix page.

“There’s always something more to watch.”

You end up arguing about what movie to watch. Actually, you spend more time arguing and scrolling down through the Netflix endless catalogue than watching something.

You don’t touch each other not even once. The physical distance almost feels like a living being.

You end up giving up on Netflix and watching Avengers Endgame for the hundredth time anyway.

And yes - Jungkook cries at the ending of the film.

You wake up with the sunlight touching your face.

It’s awful. You close your eyes tightly and yawn, a little bit confused at first. What am I doing in the living room? You search for your phone to check the hour: it’s seven in the morning. Shit. Whenever you can sleep until late hours, you end up waking up early…

You turn your head to the side and freeze.

It’s Jungkook.

Now you remember everything. The TV is still on, which means both of you fell asleep while watching it. The empty plates and glasses are placed over the coffee table.

You never slept together before.

There was only one time when it happened - the first and only, when you two got wasted and the whole story started. Other than that, you never slept together. First, because you had more interesting things to do other than sleep. Second, because sleeping together feels way too intimate. It didn’t matter how tired you were after fucking, when you finished cleaning up, you’d both put your clothes back on and walk back to your respective homes. You vehemently avoided doing anything that might feel too intimate - kissing, sleeping together… after a while, you even avoided looking at each other right in the eye while having sex.

You’re not touching; there is still a great space between your bodies. Yet… just the thought that you slept with Jungkook makes your heart race.

You don’t move a single centimeter. You just lay there and… look at him.

His long hair is a mess. His face is adorably puffy, lips slightly parted. He looks peaceful. The way his chest moves up and down as he breathes is hypnotizing.

He’s seriously so beautiful.

But now, you don’t think of it in a sexual way. Back then, you’d always admire how hot Jungkook is, his godlike physique, how lucky you were to be having sex with a guy like him… not now. You just feel mesmerized by his features. The long eyelashes touching his cheeks. The tiny moles on his face and neck. Some old acne scars.

It’s odd, but right now, you realize just how much you’ve been missing him. It doesn’t make sense - Jungkook is right here, barely an arm apart from you. You made up last night and it seems that everything is back to normal. Still, you desperately miss him.

Your chest fills up with something strange and unknown. It’s sweet and painful. It makes your heart feel tight, your nerves feel like burning and your eyes well up with tears.

This is the face of the person that has been with you during most of your life.

He’s a part of you.

The most important part of you.

In this moment, your feelings for him are so great that it seems that they can’t even fit inside of you anymore.

You watch him sleep for a long time, too scared to move and wake him up. But eventually, he sighs heavily and moves his head, indicating he’s about to wake up.

His eyes finally open and he yawns.

“Good morning.” He says when his eyes focus on you, smiling softly. Jungkook’s voice sounds deep and raspy. He stretches his arms over his head. “I mean… if it’s still morning.”

“It is,” you say softly.

He stares at the ceiling with heavy-lidded eyes. “I dreamed that babies came from eggs. Like ostrich eggs.” He chuckles. “And women gave birth to the eggs like chickens.”

You don’t say anything and just keep watching him instead.

Jungkook finally turns his head at you and frowns, still smiling softly. “What?”

“Nothing.” You say so quietly that he can barely hear.

He gazes back at you.

Slowly, the smile on his lips disappears.

You feel the tension building up around you - but this time it feels different. It’s not a bad tension like what you experienced last night at the terrace, nor is it dense like when you two were aroused and desperate to find a place and please yourselves. This time, it feels delicate but heavy nevertheless. It makes your blood boil and your heart race.

Jungkook’s eyes are serious, heavy and intense over you. All the playfulness is gone. None of you say a word. You don’t even know if you have the power to move considering how heavy the tension is.

He extends his arm and his fingertips touch your cheek. Your skin feels burning hot. Delicately, he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. It’s strange how he’s doing the exact same thing Taehyung did, but with Jungkook, this simple touch made you feel like exploding right there.

Jungkook is the one to come closer. Closer and closer and closer. Your breathing is heavy. He caresses your cheek his his thumb. Soon, his face is right in front of yours - noses touching, eyes locked and burning with something you can’t quite name.

You stare at each other like this for a moment until his gaze finally drops to your mouth.

You both lean in for the kiss at the same time.

You have already tasted these lips multiple times before - but now, it’s different. The kiss is slow; you move your lips unhurriedly and sweetly. Yet, this kiss feels much more intense than any other you have shared before. None of those times when you kissed him desperately with luxury being the only thing on your mind comes even close to the intensity of this kiss.

It almost feels that this is the actual first time you kiss Jungkook.

Your breathing gets even heavier as the kiss deepens. His hand rests on your waist, while yours hold his neck. The sloppy sounds of your lips and tongues moving together are the only audible thing in the apartment. Your whole being screams in excitement and anticipation when Jungkook moves his body to hover over yours, not even once breaking the kiss. Your right hand grabs his smooth hair while the other travels up and down his back; your body is getting burning hot. Jungkook moans very softly. You start to feel the familiar wetness on your panties.

Jungkook leans away for a moment; his lips are red and swollen, his hair is even messier now, his dark eyes are clouded with want and something you can’t name - something so strong that he’s able to make you shiver with that look alone. He leans down again and starts to kiss and suck your neck very slowly, making soft moans escape through your lips. His hand sneaks under your baggy shirt and he squeezes your breast. Soon, his lips are on yours again and the kiss becomes much deeper. You can already feel sweat forming on your forehead. Jungkook starts to grind on you; you can clearly feel his clothed erection rub against your own core, what makes more and more strangled moans come from both of you.

This is the hottest make out session of your life. The entire atmosphere is not what you’re used to; it’s not playful, none of you say a word. No teasing, no dirty talk. All you do is try to touch each other the best you can, never once breaking the kiss. It’s as if, with this kiss, you’re having a conversation… you’re telling each other everything you’re not brave enough to say out loud.

Soon, the desperation becomes too big. There’s no time to play, you just want to have him inside of you and feel his warm skin against yours. Unceremoniously, you start to undress yourselves, kissing every spot you can find in the process - neck, chest, stomach. Your clothes are thrown around the living room. You lay on your back again and Jungkook hovers above you once more, your legs entangling around his hips as he positions his hard member on your entrance.

You always avoided this position because it is too intimate; you’re forced to look at each other like this. This time, though, it doesn’t matter. You want to look at him - and the sight of his face contorting in pure pleasure, lips parted and eyes closed tightly as he eases himself inside of you, is almost as good as the feeling of being stretched after a long time.

Jungkook doesn’t move at first. He knows he’ll hurt you if he goes too hard right from the beginning. Instead, he waits until you call his name quietly in a strangled moan - the sign he needs to start thrusting. He rests his head on your shoulder and grabs the pillow under your head tightly as he picks up his pace, slow and steady, soft groans coming from the back of his throat that make you feel goosebumps. You hold his back with both hands. You can’t shut the moans anymore.

Sweat makes your skin slippery as he thrusts faster. Jungkook licks and bites your ear, moaning right into it, and it feels that this alone could make you cum. He then leans away for a moment, creating some space between your bodies to have a better angle to keep smashing himself into you - faster and faster, stronger and stronger. The usual sound of skin hitting skin, heavy breathing and moans is all you can hear.

You said that you didn’t ask him to sleep here just to have sex - and you weren’t lying.

But this doesn’t feel like just sex.

This isn’t fucking.

The pleasure is getting unsustainable and you both feel it. You close your legs around him even tighter and pull his face with both hands, sealing your lips in another intense, desperate kiss. It’s sloppy and unsynchronized. It’s raw and rough and so full of emotions you can’t comprehend that you feel your eyes tearing up again.

What you’re experiencing right now isn’t just two people finding pleasure in each other. It isn’t simply carnal instinct.

It is the deepest and most sincere way to connect with another being - without any words, through touches only.

You never felt anything like this in your life - not with Mike or any of your past boyfriends and hook ups. This is beyond lust. This is beyond sex.

Jungkook breaks the kiss apart for a second to look at you. Your gazes lock. God, he’s beautiful. Not only his appearance, but everything about him is beautiful.

And it is right now - stating deep into his eyes - that you come to a conclusion.

Jungkook has always been a part of you. But, in this exact moment, it feels like more.

It feels that you two became one.

He leans down and kisses you again. Your lips are tightly sealed when you both come at the same time.

Your trembling fingers still hold the strands of his damp hair tightly. You caress his face softly, putting some hair away from his eyes. Jungkook kisses you again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

You’re glad when he rests his head on your shoulder again, because like this, he can’t see the tears trickling down your temples.

It’s still hard to understand what just happened. Honestly, you think you’ll never fully understand.

But one thing you do understand, one thing that became as clear as the morning sky, is that your feelings for Jungkook are deeper and stronger than you ever imagined. He’s so much more than a friend.

Yet, you don’t know if he sees you the same way.

You don’t know if he felt the same things you did or if this was just one more time having sex with you. You don’t know if he still has feelings for Yeri or if he’s developing any for Joy.

You know nothing - and this fact makes your heart hurt as if it is being stabbed…

Because Jungkook, the best and most important part of you, might never be truly yours.

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alolanrain · 4 years

Text

Found Family!AU *Christmas Edition* Pt.2

Imagine Opal dealing with Madam Boss and bby Giovanni

Gio learns all his baking skills from his Aunt Opal

But his mother hated her sister with a passion

So he doesn’t see her often

When Madam Boss dies, it’s a bloody gory mess, he’s the first one to call her

“I have a son.” Is his hello, because I’m not making Giovanni and utter asshole in this AU he’s going to love Ash from a distance and actually steps down from Team Rocket the first time Ash stops him

And Opal is like, “P l e a s e let it be with that Female Kanto Trainer you brought to Galar that one Christmas, she’s such a sweet heart.”

And Opal finds out it is!!!

She puts her foot down on choosing the name bc Giovanni is fucking HORRIBLE with names and Delia was so tired and stressed a lot during the pregnancy to the point she couldn’t get a lot of shit down for the baby’s

Ash forces reluctant Grunkle Kabu to come to Alola for a week to meet up with extremely reluctant Grunkle Nanu

NANU AND KABU ARE EX-BOYFRIENDS

And Ash doesn’t even KNOW

Acerola kinda knows bc there’s this one picture her Uncle Nanu has at his desk at the police station next to a frame of her parents, him, and Acerola as a baby

She never commented on it and catches Nanu either looking at it with such a warm smile or either a really pained look in his eyes

it was a friendly split up

Both got to busy

And just had to let go

But it still hurt them a lot

ALLISTER AND ACEROLA ARE GHOST BESTIES

No but I’m expanding on the relationship of Bby! Ash and Gary with the older Head Chairman, who I’m naming Diego Thorn, and Younger!Rose, and finally Younger!Kabu

I’m hc that the Chairman BEFORE Chairman Thorn was named Theo Grass

So it’s kinda like earth, grass, thorn, then rose

Because it’s the pretty things in life that are truly poisonous

grumpy Grunkles are getting back together with the help of Ash, Gary, and the Ghost baby’s

the only reason why Kabu is considered a Grunkle is because both Ash and Gary seemed to have fucking LOVED him so much and he fathered Delia a lot since her own family was shit

So he’s the honorary Grunkle while Nanu IS Ash’s Grunkle bc yes tf Nanu is Giovanni’s Uncle but he’s really distant so he never actually found out Ash was his great Nephew until Ash at the age of 20-something came stumbling into his police station with wide whisky brown eyes and shocking black hair and a jaw line that seemed to familiar that Nanu could never forget

Chairman Thorn ALWAYS Came down from his work place, dragging Rose and his own assistant/secretary, Milly, to see bby Ash and Gary bc he’s a really big family man and the two boys absolutely adore him as much as Thorn adored them

And Delia was so afraid at first that Opal would nearly be/ or just plain be the same as Madam Boss and hurt the poor girl but it’s quite the opposite

Opal spoiled her SO HARD, she was the one to make sure that Delia and Gio had everything they could need for Bby Ash’s arrival and afterwards

And both women found out that they share a deep love for winter in general

So they start small traditions that they then pass down to Ash and Gary, because the Oaks get sucked into this bc Professor Oak can’t say no and Daisy loves Delia like the mom she barely remembers

And Opal is just like “Yes more great grand babies.”

And she was there for Delia when Giovanni left Ash and Delia, yes she was absolutely ROYALY pissed at her Nephew, but she also knew why Gio did what he did

Because he did the best thing to protect her, Ash, and by extent the Oaks as well

Because he fathered Gary and Daisy as much as Delia mothered them

But it because a tradition to bring the kids up to Galar to see Graunty Opal and Grunkle Kabu and spend the second week of December all the way to a week after New Years there

So like almost a whole month of family lovin’ time

BUT IMAGINE BBY ASH WADDLING INTO THE GYM FEILD AND CLINGING ONTO OPAL WHOS TALKING TO LEON/RAIHAN/OR BOTH BEFORE THEIR GYM BATTLE

AND SHE NEEDS TO GRAB SOMTHING BUT ASH IS CLINGING ONTO HER LEG SO OPAL JUST S C O O P S HIM UP AND HANDS HIM OVER TO THE TRAINER(S) AND IS LIKE “brb gotta go get some stuff before hand” AND JUST L E A V E S THEM THERE WITH BBY ASH WHO HAS JUST STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS AND HAS FALLEN SO HARD IN LOVE WITH POKÉMON

Raihan would just inwardly panic bc he’s never been good with baby’s before

But damn OH DAMN does Leon start bouncing Ash up and down while trying his best to answer Ash’s questions because he absolutely ADORES children at Ash’s age and wants to get better bc his mom and dad are thinking about having another kid and he wants to be the BEST big brother that he can be

Then Gary waddles over bc he couldn’t find Ash and Gary’s suppose to stick by Ash’s side to make sure the younger boy doesn’t get hurt

Raihan would start to panic even more bc there’s TWO babies now

But Leon would be ecstatic because there’s T W O BABIES NOW

HHH SO THEN COUSIN LEON BECOMES A THING

BUT ITS A SHORT THING BC ASH HAS TK GO BACK HOME AND HE DOESNT SEE LEON ANYMORE

but then he comes back with Gou in tow and the first part of the HC happens and then he sees Leon again

And everyone just watches Leon gush’s about how Ash and Gary were so cute as toddlers and then Ash recalls and just screams “COUSIN L!!!!” Because as a Bby he couldn’t pronounce Leon’s full name

And Hop is like “w h a t”

BUT ALSO IMAGINE NEWLY GRANTED GYM LEADER PIERS BEING BROUGHT OVER TO OPALS HOUSE FOR CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS BECAUSE HIS FAMILY IS S H I T AND HE MEETS ASH AND GARY

DELIA KINDA SUBCONSCIOUSLY BECOMES A MOM TO PEIRS DURING THAG MONTH AND ASH IS LIKE

“Y A S ANOTHER SIBLING!!!!!”

And then Piers gets abducted every year until Delia and Ash stop showing up bc their busy with work/traveling

Until, again, Ash comes back with Gou in tow and Gary gets guilted to come up to Galar

And he sees Piers and just gives the man a cheeky smile and then sees Marnie kinda hiding behind Piers and thinks “Ah yes, new sibling #5,437”

And Marnie latches on faster to Ash than Piers has seen her ever do to anyone else bc she’s been grown up on the wild things Ash would get Piers and another boy into before he stopped coming back to Galar every winter

Bede also gains Brotherly Love bc his family kicked him out for being trans and Ash was having NONE OF THAT bc he’s trans himself

I’m thinking about having Ash and Gary together since this AU is kinda like my AM!AU but not really

Still debating on that

But no My favorite part has to be the competition between all the League officials, except Rose bc he’s an asshole, to get the best seasonal themed picture/video with the trio bc OF COURSE Gou is immediately adopted into the family and becomes Ash’s little sibling

Even people like Allister and Bae get into it

Like there’s a picture Melony took for Allister that had Ash lofting the boy up so he could place the star on the small Christmas tree at their gym lobby with Gou and Gary helping to place other decorations on it

Or Bae’s selfie of the Trio with her together with a snowman that looks like a certain Galar Champion, stolen cape and all

Gou fears for a while that they were all just being awkwardly nice about it until Kabu find them out at night behind Opals mansion they were staying at and gently nudges the truth towards them that they actually LIKE having Gou with them and participating with their family shenanigans and other shit and that they ARE family now because do you honestly think Delia is going to let go of you know? Because she sure as hell hasn’t let go of Kahuna Nanu in Alola

God when Ash brings all his friends who don’t have Good Families over it becomes even more Chaotic

Opals like “WHAT DO YOU M E A N YOU NEVER BAKED COOKIES UNTIL THREE IN THE MORNING?????”

And Lillie and Melony talk about ice types over a cup of hot coco why Allister, Bae, and a shit ton of other people are loosing their mind over Silvally because it can change TYPING W T F GLADION

and Ash is like “oh it’s Silvally!” And Gary would be intrigued but Ash literally shares EVERYTHING with him so he can meet the Pokémon another time when Gladion isn’t so bombarded by people bc the blonde was so used to people in Alola who are used to seeing Silvally that he forgot Alola is definitely not like everywhere else

Hhh Serena, May, Dawn, Zoey, and a bunch of other girls talking with Opal, Oleana, and other female League members about fashion and the younger girls find out that the Women watch their performances religiously bc Ash flippantly said something and that got them interested now they can’t stop watch them

IRIS AND RAIHAN DUKING IT OUT ON THE BATTLE FEILD BC IRIS SAID HER DEAGONITE IS STRONGER AND BETTER THAN RAIHANS FLYGON AND HES LIKE “B E T YOU TINER FUCKER!!!!”

RAIHAN DUKING IT OUT WITH DRAYDEN, because he’s still cousins with Delia in this AU, AND W I N N I N G

So it’s canon, from the new Pokémon game app, that Iris is Leon and Hops cousin

So now Leon just rounds on Ash and is so confused bc Iris talked about this one boy name Ash with a Pikachu who acts like such a kid over face time but Leon didn’t make the connection it was THIS Ash she was traveling with

Hhh snuggle piles in the living room after a fun day outside building forts and what not

Like Ash is dead center in the kids pile bc he’s a kid at heart and Gary’s legs are thrown over his shoulder a bc Ash is in a blanket fort/nest with the other younger kids while Gary is pressed between Delia and Daisy

Opal is curled with Serena bc she’s currently getting deets in the fairy world in Kalos

PROFESSOR OAK TALKING TO MELONY ABOUT ICE TYPES BC HE USED TO BE AN ICE TYPE TRAINER BEFORE COMING KANTOS PROFESSOR

All the younger trainers are so focused on the movies as the adults just talk quietly in the background

And Gou is laying over Ash’s lap while on their phone and Ash doesn’t say anything even though his legs are falling asleep

Idk I’m gonna have Lance as Delia’s brother in this AU

But that doe NOT stop him from acting like Ash’s uncle because Ash ripped Lances two titles out from under him in three years

Leon has been Champion for 20-something years instead of the in game 10 Years

So that it could be plausible that Trainer!Leon and Bby!Ash/Gary could meet each other

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adelheidvonschicksal · 5 years

Text

Good Girl | Dabi x F!Reader | Fluff/NSFW

Dabi with a very innocent female reader, with some rough nsfw and dirty talk?

I’m so awful with dirty talk. 😂

Warnings: NSFW, wannabe dirty talk, insecurities, Dabi being a sweetheart

Your hand shakes with every centimeter closer you bring the eyeliner to your eyelid. Make-up wasn’t your strong suit besides the basics of foundation, lipstick, and mascara. This is an emergency, however. The man you wanted is dangerously close to belonging to someone else if he hadn’t already.

The man you love, Dabi, is a villain, not the smartest idea considering you are only a civilian. The two of you met actually about a year ago when some jerks were harassing you on the bus on the way home and not taking no and your obvious discomfort for an answer. You’re sure he only stepped in because they were annoying him too with the obnoxiously loud talking.

Ever since then, the two of you kept running into each other. You’re not sure if it was fate or what, but you became acquaintances then friends then he would drop by your house and spend the night every so often to shower or eat, and he would give you some money when you needed something or if rent was tight or he felt that he was staying over and using your stuff more than usual. You never questioned where he got it from nor wanted to know either. Eventually, the two of you became friends with cuddle benefits whenever one of you were feeling particularly desperate for human contact and affection.

Needless to say, you developed a big crush akin to a school girl crushing on her senpai. It’s also like a school girl that you decided to change up your look to win back his attention.

Lately, he’s been spending a lot of time with this other woman who worked for the same person who hooked Dabi up with jobs every now and again. Some guy named Giran. You didn’t know if they were just partners for the time being like he said or not, but you have seen her plenty enough times to know her type, bad girl incarnate.

She was always in tight leather pants with metal chains and matching jacket over a crop top and heavy make-up and shiny body piercings. She had tattoos located on her chest and lower back to draw attention to nicely developed features. You thought that you could’ve competed in the looks department when you dress up in pretty dresses and flowing tops, but the final nail in your confidence was her sleek, stylish Kawasaki. Dabi seemed to really like that.

So as childish as it may have been, if bad is what he liked then you were going to try to be bad. You bought some tight shorts to hug around your hips and skimpier tops to wear. You still were a bit unsure on the piercings and chickened out on getting a real tattoo. You were in the darn chair and practically fell on your face to escape when the needle got close. Though, you thought the temp one on your shoulder was pretty convincing and bought plenty to back it up. Now, you were sitting in front of your bathroom mirror watching a YouTube tutorial on how to apply eyeliner and do a smoky eye shadow.

You knew Dabi would come over today. No matter what he always came on Saturday to spend the night. This time would be a change in plans. You were going to convince him to go out to the rave club with you for a drink and maybe, just maybe, excite him to kiss you instead of just spooning tonight. Then, there would be no need for him to spend time with that other woman at all.

You finally get your make-up done to what you think is a decent look just as a knock comes from the door. Dabi always has this distinct way he knocks before he unlocks your door so you won’t get scared that someone was breaking in.

“Hey,” Dabi greets, eyes immediately going to the couch where he expected you to be waiting instead you bounce in from the hallway to meet him with your usual sweet smile covered behind make-up and normal pajamas replaced by form-hugging clothing that showed off more skin than he’s ever seen.

You notice immediately the confusion on his face. You didn’t know if that is a good thing yet, but it is progress. Blue eyes take you all in, dropping from your head to your feet and all the way back up.

“What are you wearing?” he questions, and you grin as he noticed and bat the long black eyelashes you spent hours trying to figure out how to put on.

“I just decided to try a new look is all,” you explain, smiling with thick red painted lips. “But hey, I was thinking we should go out somewhere fun tonight.”

“Fun?” he questions skeptically.

“Yeah, fun,” you repeat, biting your lip and letting the word leave your mouth hard in what you thought was a seductive manner.

Dabi scowls, eyes narrowing at you, and you gulp. “What is that?”

“Hm?” you hum nonchalantly. Deciding to fall to your emergency plan early, you twist to the side to display the picture on your bicep. “Oh, this? I got a tattoo. Pretty badass, don’t you think?”

You hold your breath as he studies it before scoffing, finally smiling slightly. “It’s fake,” Dabi points out, relieved.

“N-No, it’s not,” you stammer, refusing to give up that easily. Dabi draws his thumb across his tongue, presses it to your skin, and swipes some of the tattoo away. “Hey, what are you doing!”

You’re cut off as he rubs his palm at your eye shadow and bluntly demands, “Take that off. You hate make-up, it breaks you out.”

“Dabi, stop it!” you complain and aggressively whack his hand away.

Annoyed, Dabi finally asks, “What’s up with you, (Name)? You’ve been acting weird lately and now,” he gestures his hand in a circle all around you, “Just what is this?” he cringes when he looks at your face, making your heart sink.

“You’re not around enough to know if I’m acting weird,” you spitefully whispered, making his eyes widen.

“What are you talking about?”

“All your time is with that other woman!” you finally confessed. “Every time you have a job, or she’ll be around you even when you say you’re free, and you don’t spend time with me as much anymore. I know we’re not dating, and you can be with whoever you want, but it hurts since I care about you, too; and if you are dating her, I don’t think it’s fair to me or her if you keep coming around here, too.”

Sighing, Dabi pulls you into him. “You don’t have to waste your time being jealous. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but we’re not having sex or doing anything together if that’s what you’re worried about, and I’m not really interested in doing things with her for that matter.”

“You don’t? But she’s so pretty, and—“

”And you’re not? (Name), you looked fine before. Not to mention look at me, you’re definitely the better looking one in our relationship.”

Blushing, you glance down at your feet with a weak smile. “But she’s just so cool, and I figured you liked women like that so I just wanted you to know I could be bad, too.”

“Okay,” he chuckles, leaning his head close to your ear, and whispering, “Then, show me how bad you can be, (Name)-chan.”

You grin and bring your lips to his, biting down on his bottom lip and pulling before sliding your tongue over his lips. You pull away with a smirk. “How’s that?”

“Oh? Was that all,” he teases. “I said bad,” he says and caresses your cheek.

“What?” you questioned in shock, thinking that was pretty sexy in your book. Realizing he means further, your throat going dry as you squeak out, “you mean right now?”

“That’s what you want, right?” he questions you and grips at your hips to roughly snatch your body against his.

“I…” You looked down to the floor, trying to hide your timid expression from cool blue eyes.

“It’s not that hard,” he says and snuggly hugs your lower half to his. “Tell me what you want to do to me,” Dabi gently drags his thumb down the center of your bottom lip.

“Well, I would undress you...” you state unsurely.

“I see, and?” He teases, sliding his hand down your shoulder. Goosebumps dance up your skin as you try to think of something else to say but you started drawing blanks. He chuckles at your deer in the headlight’s expression.

“And uh…I’m not sure…” You had your chance to make him yours and you were completely lost on how. Your original plan had only went as far as getting him to kiss you. And though it’s not like you haven’t done a few things with a man before, it wasn’t really your area of expertise either. “But I can learn. It can’t be that hard.”

“Really?”

”Yes,” you repeat less confidently as he cups your chin to bring your line of sight back to him.

“Don’t worry about it, bad girls are nice, but I do really like good girls like you. It makes it that much easier to make you squirm.”

A yelp echoes through the house as you're hoisted off your feet and into his arms.

“Dabi,” you gasp and wrap your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. He cups your ass and brings you up as high as possible before carrying you to the bedroom.

Dabi kicks open the door and tosses you onto the bed like it’s nothing. Closing your eyes, you land on it with a bounce. You open your eyes to catch Dabi leaning over you and forcing you back to the mattress.

“Do you want to be my woman, (Name)?” Dabi asks, hands gripping your wrists and holding them far above your head.

“I want to be yours,” you answer, and he rewards it with a quick brush of his lips against your collar bone.

“What do you want me to do to you?” he murmurs as he traces his tongue over your cleavage and kisses between your breasts.

You groan as rough skin placed soft kisses along your chest. You finally know what his lips feel like. “I want you to do everything to me.”

“Mm, how long have you wanted this?” Dabi questions and moves his lips to yours, making you tense. It takes only a second or two for you to relax and accept his advance.

“A few months now,” you confess shyly before Dabi kisses you deeper and shifts his body on top of yours. He lays on top of you, smothering you under his full weight. You whimper from the heat of his body, and he moves his hips against you, pleasuring himself with friction between the two of you.

“If you wanted me so bad, you should’ve just said so. I would’ve been happy to fuck you silly anytime, sweetheart.” His deep chuckle makes you flustered, and Dabi roughly bites down into your bottom lip. He pulls away to take in your bashful face. “You don’t know how hard it was to keep my hands off you,” and he makes sure you know it by squeezing you in scarred hands and dragging them all the way down the sides of your arms and width of your hips.

“How can you say that with such a straight face?” you mutter but your timid-ness only edge him further to keep going until you whine from his teasing.

“I can’t count how many times I woke up hard because of you, how many times I’ve had to jerk off with you sleeping next to me,” he teases, kissing down your bare shoulder and continuously pulling down your top before deciding to smolder through it instead by bunching it in his hands and pulling the weaken seams. You wouldn’t need to be wearing it anymore anyway.

“Dabi,” you squirm and bring your hands to your chest. You hiss when he grips them and slams them back above your head.

“No, no, no baby girl, you don’t get to hide from me anymore,” Dabi says, switching to holding your arms back with one hand as he flicks your nipple with the other.

“That’s not fair!” you whine with the grinding of his hip, and the cool laugh he teases you with brings a warmth between your legs.

“What was that? You want me to play with you more?” he questions and covers your nipple in his mouth, sucking aggressively. You moan as he bites down and pulls the sensitive nub between his teeth.

“Have you touched yourself thinking about me, baby girl?” Dabi licks the shell of your ear, and you shudder underneath him. You purse your lips, avoiding eye contact as you shake your head. “Not even a little?” he asks skeptically as he grasps your hand, slowly sliding it between your legs.

“I don’t think you’re telling me the truth,” he whispers and kisses your neck then nips at your earlobe. “Show me what you do to yourself, I want to know.”

You unfurl your fingers and nervously stroke them underneath your shorts and over your panties.

“That’s my girl,” he purrs, and you groan as he lustfully watches you stroke underneath your shorts. He decides to pull them off to get the full show before forcing your hand away to remove your underpants. “Keep going,” he commands, and you press your fingers back to your bare skin, curling up into yourself as you bite back a moan. He licks his fingers and goes back to teasing and rolling his wet thumb over your nipples. He pulls them roughly and strokes you with the scarred skin on the back of his hand, and the rough strokes make you throb around your fingers as more cum sleeks out to coat them.

Dabi tugs your hand away, and your breath catches in your throat as he slowly glances his tongue over the tips of your fingers, one by one. Heat comes from his hand as he strokes over your knuckles, sending a pleasant warmth through your palm. “Come here,” he orders, sitting on the bed and pulling you on top of him.

Dabi strokes your head, and you press against his cock, rocking slightly. Dabi licks his lips, watching your soft expression before deciding he wants to be inside of you right away. He shifts away and undoes his pants before settling you back onto his lap.

You grip onto him as he pulls you down on his dick, making you whimper, and he sighs himself with the slow start of his thrusts. You push your hands into thick, black hair and kiss him deeply. You inexperiencedly grind your hips into him as you do so but it’s not a problem as he digs his fingers into your thighs and guides your movements.

The dragging of heated fingers down your skin makes you hiss along with the streaks following in a thin trail. “Dabi,” you mewl, and he buries his head between your breasts to cover his own needy gasps. Teeth nip and bite, leaving marks over your breasts that speckle lightly with the color of blood before he licks it away with a groan, proving just how desperately he wanted you all this time.

The motions of his hips don’t stop as he slams in you with a rate that is undoubtedly going to have you sore, and you crane your head back and give your own marks on the back of his neck by dragging your nails over his skin. He growls as you pull at the back of his hair. You raise your hips and ride on him harder to quickly build up to your end with him.

You keep rocking on his lap until you’re both spent and empty. You pant tiredly and slowly climb off of him before laying down and hugging against his chest.

You look up at him with a soft smile, and he wants to meet it but frowns slightly when he sees the smear across your face from where he wiped your makeup. He shakes his head, and you furrow your brows as he slips away from you and adjusts his clothes before walking to the bathroom. You wait nervously, worrying as you hear the water run before he comes back with a wet towel in hand.

“Dabi?” you question but sputter as he sits on the bed and impatiently tries to wipe the smears away to look a little better and to see some of your real skin tone under the foundation.

“I don’t like not being able to see your face,” he bluntly scolds before tossing the towel off to the side when he finally is satisfied with his work. Then, he pulls your arm up and motions to the remains of the tattoo there. “And no more of this, understand?” he warns you as he pushes you back down under him.

“I won’t,” you whisper, and he slowly drops your arm as he comes back down to bite your lips. His hands squeeze your biceps as he pulls you flush against his body.

“Good girl," he purrs. "Now, give me more sugar," he demands before heavily kissing you and pushing you down for the second time that night.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #dabi x reader #touya x reader #adelssmut #notsfw

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testdrivc · 4 years

Text

hey ! my name’s link , i go by he/they pronouns , am 21+ & live in the cst timezone ! my only personality trait is being a bts , sment & girl groups enthusiast . i’m an aries sun with a pisces moon , which means i can be aggro , am always loud & obnoxious , but am a secretly sensitive softy , so plz be nice to me !!! this is flynn , who’s a soft sweet pisces boy that loves making desserts & getting emotional over literally everything ! here's a link to his dossier page ( some day i’ll get around to making his pinterest board ) which will hopefully give you some deeper insight . i’m excited to be here & write with you all ! like this if you’d like to plot & i’ll fly to your ims , but also feel free to add me on d*scord ( it’s easier for me as well ) : red velvet's himbo#6669 !

* ♡ ╰ jung yoonoh. twenty-three. cismale + he/him ⁄ any time flynn shim is in the test kitchen they play introvert by rich brian. the pisces has been working at that’s amore for two years as a sugar rusher. since then the mooncalf has built a reputation for being gentle & selfless but also gullible & moody. could that be the the reason why their palate enjoys eggs benedict & hash browns ? but it for sure explains why flour stained hands, messy countertops, sleepless nights & sentimental feelings over animal videos remind me of them.

misc. info :

flynn has lived in san francisco all his life.

he learned how to cook from his mother, but even as a kid enjoyed baking more than anything else. so he has minimal regular cooking skills as an adult but can get by. he can and will make desserts for dinner though (which his mom hates).

even as a child, flynn’s dad was unreliable and a bit of a selfish asshole. one of flynn’s first memories was of his dad running out on his family and his mother being brokenhearted over it.

he fluttered in and out of their lives after that though his parents never officially got back together. but he’d always lead flynn’s mother to believe it and use her for various reasons (usually for money). she was never able to turn him away and it gave flynn a lasting impression on men and how they could be. he promised to never be like that.

his household was mostly dominated by women and the occasional boyfriend of his mother’s. it helped him to develop a sense of understanding for women and paired with his already sensitive nature flynn ended up becoming quite the introvert.

he’s really loyal. he would do anything for his mother and his sisters. while he’s quite the softy he does tend to intimidate people who try to date anyone in his family with his large appearance. and he prefers to appear threatening to them though he’s more like a puppy than anything else.

he’s the lone person in his household that’s not straight. as he grew older and became aware of his identity it had a negative impact on him and sometimes he feels ashamed of his attraction to men. while he’s not closeted he’s never dated a man. his mother is a very understanding woman but he’s still afraid to tell her. his sisters on the other hand aware and are very understanding about it.

otherwise he’s kinda happy go lucky? kinda dumb KGHDFJGFH but nice! you can get him to believe anything really. he’s all about conspiracy theories and stuff! yes he thinks there are lizard people in control

he can be a crybaby sometimes but he tries not to randomly burst into tears at work or anything (this doesn’t always work). some days he’ll be fine but then other times he’ll see a picture of a butterfly and start choking up.

he’s pretty aggressive in flirting which is different in comparison to his baby nature but he has an aries venus so what can you do? he’s also pretty flighty and bad at commitment while wanting to just find his “one true love” so you can imagine what that’s like. he also gets crushes really easily. if you looked at him in the eye once or said something nice to him then he’s in love with you and that’s just that’s amore! hq’s burden to bear.

unfortunately as flynn got older his dad stop relying on his mom to bum off of and moved on to his son. he promised him lots of father/son time which is what flynn has secretly wanted all his life but he just dips whenever he gets what he wants. yet flynn is too nice to tell him no or try to push him away. way too gullible for his own good.

he’s a coffee addict. loves it. has to have it every day. he’s all those cringy posts about “don’t talk to me before i’ve had my coffee!”. he watches a lot of cafe vlogs in his spare time but has no idea how to make drinks himself.

he likes hugs a lot! just affection in general. so don’t be surprised if he randomly tries to hold your hand or something.

he can’t handle his alcohol very well. give him a shot of anything and he’ll be plastered out of his mind KHGDFKHGF

he’s really forgetful. he loses his keys all the time. he drops stuff into batter then forgets and ends up making a cake with a ring inside.

he loves to randomly gift people with pastries and candy whether they’re acquaintances or friends or anything really. he just likes to try to make people smile and he figures that sweets are the best way to do it.

wanted connections :

exes (f/nb. i want one serious ex that lasted for months or a year or something. it can be friendly or angsty. then a few more casual relationships. we can discuss!)

hookups / fwbs (any gender. singular experiences or regular type things)

maybe a m/nb that he’s been fooling around with for a little while and is into him and says he wants to commit but flynn is like haha :nervous: and just brushes it off. and yes. angst.

childhood plots for those who’ve lived in san francisco (childhood friends, first kisses / crushes, all that good stuff)

high school sweethearts

flirtationships that don’t go anywhere

office romance

one-sided crushes (don’t mind who has the feelings!)

mutual pining but they’re both idiots and have no idea

party buddies (can be drinking and/or smoking)

tinder date (it can go well or not)

would love some kind of fake office enemy thing like brad leone and alex delany has!

yell at him for never cleaning up the messes he makes and deal with him whining about it!

i have a huge tag full of plots i’d love to do on my rp spam blog. not all of them will be fitting for flynn but just ask me & we can try to change some elements or something!

literally anything you can think of i’m probably down for it!

#amore:intro #▎ °✖ 𝗢𝗞 𝗖𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗡𝗔𝗦𝗦 › out of character .

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leggypuppy · 5 years

Text

An Ascension Incarnassial, Pt.1

Ao3

The diary of one Rollo Rutherford V, generally considered to be faked, or at least heavily fictionalised. It documents the progression of certain appetites. ‘Edited’ and (self)published by Nullimor Blest.

(A gameplay-based fanfic, inspired by the narrative lets-play A Soul Healer’s Parable on SomethingAwful.)

In Which Matters Of The Family And It’s Associated Aunts Are Much Discussed

Foreword

Decay is not a function of living, just as the sea is not a function of the river. Delight is not found in earth or in salt. It is in copper and the cup, and it is in blood. These are the words of Our Delight, and the methods of their devouring.

-Nullimor Blest

June 28th

Early start today. Rose at eleven. A lovely day. Shall enjoy wasting it.

June 29th

Owe Aunt M. a painting. Do not forget!!

Visited Father. Still sick. Still bad tempered old goat. Not sure why I bother.

July 3rd

Met M. at her hotel. Promised to bring canvas next lunch. Aunt dreadfully cross. Bought dinner to smooth things over- remembered why visiting F. is such a good idea. Allowances are a grace that keeps Aunts at bay.

Home. Slapped some ink on canvas, will call it impressionist.

July 5th

Another sick-visit. F. not even awake this time. Left early to sidle down to club. Conversation much more lively.

July 6th

Slipped into Ori’s today while avoiding M. Picked up some books on a whim. Not really the reading type- so much else to do! But got into rather a bidding war over them. Purchase became a matter of principle.

***

Examined prize.

Item: Conjugation of boffin fodder. Lot of academic wish-wash. Next!

Item: Dream journal? Some fellow’s been at it with a razor. Hardly think T. Galmier would be pleased.

Item: Latin. Not been up to snuff on that since school days, but no matter- this one has pictures. One could say illustrations. Certainly something. For later, more private perusal perhaps.

***

Giddy evening, but came home without company. No matter- time to see what light amusements might be couched in latin.

July 7th

Woke with face sticking to pages, mouth tastes like a riverbed. Thankfully did not fall asleep on a page too incriminating. Ink bled- won’t quite wash off. Blasted book.

Puzzled out the title- Transforming Orchids. Something like that. Would account for the nature of some of the illustrations. Left it under pillow before going out. Seemed fitting.

July 8th

An inspired evening! Don’t remember a thing. Sun is setting, delicious, red. Time for an encore.

July 10th

Father dead. Train: 11.34. Details to follow.

July 11th

Details not forthcoming. Arrived to find old stomping ground crawling with solicitors and clerks and accompanying insects. Have attempted to ask about state of business affairs, will, allowance. Was somehow always passed on with promise of solid answer. Answers remain distinctly immaterial. Shall have to attempt to put the foot down.

***

Nobody will talk to me. Correction, Aunt M. rather voluble in my direction, but Aunts do not count as bodies. Rather they are sources of grief to sensible young men attempting to find out where his next club membership fees shall be coming from.

Aunt M. already primed, so have fired her in direction of nearest solicitor. Rather an enjoyable conflagration to watch over a glass.

July 15th

Matters resolved in regions over one’s head and behind one’s back. Took cold comfort in solicitor’s new attitude, post close encounter with M.

Short and short of it: Papa enjoyed company of money. Money did not enjoy company of Papa, and attempted to escape by any means poss. Exact inventory of means yet to be made. Project not likely to be completed this side of the century.

Apparently, Father already tickling bottom of barrel for allowance. Suspect the old goat died on cue in order to wriggle out of providing any further.

July 16th

Final funds released today as lump sum, along with contents of Father’s study. More precisely, contents of study desk drawers and walls. Furniture itself apparently a matter of debate. Numerous debts still to be cleared.

Has been suggested by some that I might want to take on some of the debts myself! Laughed until they went away. Might as well venture upstairs, take stock of my inheritance.

***

Item: Papers

Item: More papers

Item: Personal diary, shorthand. Covers a few years. Entries understandably sparser towards the end.

Item: Book, found under diary. ‘Travelling At Night’. Vol 2. Would have ignored, except books F. favoured not really the multi-volumed sort.

Item: Papers again

Item: Papers once more

Item: Godawful painting of a couple of women simpering in gauze. Banally provocative.

Item: Papers

Apparently F. attempted to pulp and stuff a whole forest into his desk before he died. Spent a satisfying while folding some darts. Have a whole fleet of them at my elbows now.

***

Poss should actually examine the things.

***

Heroic effort made on my part made to stack and sort, but defeat claims me. In order to sort, had to read, and in reading, well- a house without walls? The colours of sleep? Whole lot of bally nonsense. The sort of nonsense that ends up hanging together, if one’s not careful.

Only thing stopping me from doubling my dart fleet is the book. Has a ticket inside- Lot number stamped in the burnt orange of Oriflamme’s.

Another second volume, same place. Both found nestled in fragments.

Coincidence, likely.

Still. The colour of my father’s sleep seems to have also been red.

July 17th (technically)

Dreams.

My fault for sleeping in a dead man’s bed, but faced with a choice between this and my old room? Thought I’d take my chances with the ghosts here.

The room is cold. My dreams were cold. My dreams were red. The room is not yet red.

Had the fire lit, and am sat before it in bedclothes. The body at least is a little warmer.

Cold dreams. Red dreams.

Thinking of Father. Found him here once, when I was younger and he wasn’t sick. The same hour of the morning, firelight behind him robbing him of detail. Hunched, wrapped in bedclothes. Writing.

Am going to spend the rest of the night in one of the guest rooms.

July 17th (proper)

F.’s diary relatively easy to decipher- still written in the same shorthand as when I lived with him. Learned to read that long ago.

Diary contains much the same as papers before it- only lacks the redeeming feature of being suitable for dart fodder. Admittedly much more cohesive, being dated and already in order.

A name stands out- Nascent Jemisin. F. seems to have been an admirer of the poor fellow. Even kept the article about their death- fire destroyed the whole of some nowhere place cross-channel. Alas alack for Kerisham*.

Rather marks the beginning of the end for poor old Papa. Entries become a ramble, tho’ admittedly one that dips occasionally into a new colour of ink. Who knew the old man had such an imagination on him.

***

Found a correspondence card stuck to inside of back cover. Another admiree? A co-conspirator?

Shan’t know unless I reach out to them, shall I.

Poss. ought to bring Aunt M. along as bodyguard.

*Editor’s Note: No newspapers obtained from Kerisham itself at the time make any mention of a fire. The front page that date was chiefly concerned with rises in local sea levels.

#Cultist Simulator #Rollo Rutherford V #cultsim #fanfic

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seaside-roleplays · 5 years

Text

Wishlist

Hiya ♡ Just a terribly bored girl who likes to spend her free time writing out the lives of fictional characters! You can find me using discord more than anything, as I can use it wherever. If you didn’t already see, I’m 21 and a Female. That matters for some people, for example, I won’t write out mature topics with people under 18.

I double, triple, and enjoy F//, M// and M/F. Fandom and original are both fun! I have a list of fandoms further down that I am happy to discuss or rp ♡ As far as fandoms go, I am OC friendly, and will absolutely play your desired love interest ♡

If you find yourself wanting to write together, shoot me a message! It is the fastest way to catch my attention! please include what plot/pairing you are looking to do rather than just ‘hey, are you looking for an rp?’

Ideas

- Kingdom Hearts, I finished playing 3 and really want to roleplay with someone. Oc/Canon or Canon/Canon if I ship it. I can play your character's love interest if you can play mine ^^ My first girl can be paired with Saix, or Axel if that is an easier character to play. My second girl has Demyx as her love interest. I would be happy to tell you more about them if doubling up is something you want to do. I have played all of the games //or at least watched all the cut scenes hehe// So I have confidence in playing most characters. Shipping wise feel free to ask and I can tell you. It's faster than me listing them.

- A Love Live School Idol Festival Themed rp, we make our own unit of school idols and roleplay their adventures, highs and lows, could be a F// or completely platonic! also open to a M/F romance between 2 idols of different units //ex.Starlight Four vs Phantom Five//

- Miraculous , I want to do something with my girl who is a ballerina with a swan Kwammi, who has Marinette/Ladybug as her love interest. Can play Adrien/Cat Noir for you, otherwise I'm not as confident with the other canons. Could also just use Oc's and do our own thing. I just REALLY want to play my favorite black cat superhero. Chances are I will 100% make a pinterest board or something for the roleplay *-* I do have a couple ideas in mind regarding some villans // Jellyfish and Monarch Butterfly??//

- Something with an animal cafe, where the workers there have animal like traits, a maid/butler has a crush on a human patron or fellow worker. A cute magical slice of life. A slow burn romance, that can play out as the seasons come and go

- Something like "A Simple Favor" . 2 single mothers meet each other through their children wanting a playdate. One being very bubbly and cheery, the type to make beautiful home cooked meals, do arts and crafts and run a blog. The second a chic business woman who lives a life of lavish events and the finest clothes money can buy. These two women over time fall in love, despite their different worlds. Sharing their passions with one another and watching their children grow. A sweet F// really

- F// spy or partners in crime kinda plot! need help building this one!

- A witch curses a princess so that no man will ever fall in love with her! This backfires when the princess thanks her, as she is actually very into women. A cute F// rp

- A Fire Emblem rp with oc's? Basically build our own world? this one would be a lot of work. I do also have one Nohrian Cleric who I would love to use, fairly open minded about who I pair her with, so you don't have to worry about me claiming anyone. Happy to double!

- Something based off the mangas Beasts of Abigaile , the Case Study of Vanitas or Mermaid Boys I am very into these recently and am happy to do oc's or canons. or, build something similar of our own.

- Magical girl stuff. Sailor Moon, Winx Club, Shugo Chara, Pretty cure, etc. I would love to do something akin to a second gen or using various anime as an inspiration to the rp!

- A Marvel rp, specifically with the Thor universe. I would like to do an rp with Loki x Oc, where I play as Loki, since I miss playing him. I saw Thor Ragnarok and didn't know I needed to see Loki in a suit. Prefer that your character had a faceclaim, and not picking on if they are male or female really, like I said, I just really want to play Loki and have him fall in love, and yes, I have seen infinity war

- Adding to the Marvel fandom, I am also happy to play spiderman/Peter Parker for your oc, or Venom/Eddie Brock for your oc. I'm looking to get some experience playing as them, so I would not be expecting us to double, as I don't have an oc of my own that could fit with them.

- Black Butler, I really got back into this and am dying to do something with oc's or canons //maybe even a good canon x oc?// I want to use my oc who would be a maid, similar to Seb, a demon who also has a thing for ciel, not so much romantically. Happy to play Alois, Sebby, undertaker, ciel, or claude for you.

- A cute slice of life rp? a pinch of magic? Maybe a young wizard and witch? one from big city the other from a small town in the country?

- Peter Pan based rp, I had a few pairings and ideas in mind, the 2 I most crave are Captain Hook//TinkerBell and Captain Hook//Peter Pan. I just want to play a captain hook using Hugh Jackman as Hook's FC. BxB or BxG is fine by me, I'm just looking to have the roles reversed, where Hook is the good guy, taking in the lost boys who peter intends to 'thin out' when they start to grow up, and having them join his crew for refuge. He tries to save as many as he can, but sometimes he shows up too late or things get in his way //peter's trusty pet croc?// I like the idea of having there be a routine of Peter collecting a new 'Wendy' Perhaps as a sacrifice to keep him young and keep neverland's magic? Plot with me?

- Very much wanna do a Red Riding Hood style rp, can be cute and fluffy or dark and eerie! The cuter plot would be an academy that teaches two entirely different crowds, the first being the Red Hoods, a class made up of boys and girls who will go into the world and become protectors to ordinary folk. While the other class is the wolves, those either willing to learn to control their gifts, and those thrown into the academy in fear of them running loose with no supervision. Dark and eerie plot could be more historical fantasy, again, there being a group of Red Hood's, who protect their villages and towns from the werewolves that stalk the borders, ready to pick up one weak and foolish enough to stray from home. A red goes hunting in the woods, as they are the only ones experienced enough to fight back, and finds a trapped wolf, and chooses to help them. The wolf then taking shape into a human thanks the Red Hood and promises they won't forget the kindness. This could also be swapped, where a Red has harmed them self and can't get back to the village, and a wolf assists them. Can be F// M// or F/M. I prefer to play the wolf if I can, but am just as happy to play a Red Hood. ^^ we could do multiple pairings for this as well

- Something inspired by ‘A Court of Thorns and Roses’ with the seasons and times of day each having a court/kingdom?

Genres

- Fantasy stuff! Give me your zodiac based rp's, take me to lands where princes and princesses are made to wed, throw all your wizarding and witchy worlds my way. These are what I want! I want to be able to do something that will be imaginative and exciting! Elves, fairies, royalty, fairytales [modern and historical], werewolves, vampires, I love it all!

- Horror, I love me a good scary plot! I've gotten in to playing corpse party again, and would love to see something under the genres of haunted school, a town with a murderer on the loose, dealing with supernatural creatures with morbid tendencies, and ghots with traumatizing pasts and violent deaths. I love me some gore and horror.

- Romance, give me a rp where there is drama, heartbreak, love and friendship. I love love love romance based roleplay's. High school based ones with angtsy teens, day to day living, coffe shop romance, I will take it if it has a compelling plot and a character I can fall for!

- Harvest Moon, I mean, it could be pokemon based, or just straight up village living, I crave that simple life kinda roleplay, it's a game series I do adore, and will always find joy playing

Fandoms!

Marvel~Overwatch~Kingdom Hearts~Love Live~Miraculous~Fire Emblem~Case Study of Vanitas~Mermaid Boys~Sailor moon~Winx Club~Shugo Chara~Precure~Kuroshitsuji~Aikatsu~Corpse party~Final fantasy~Harvest Moon~Rune factory~Persona~Pokemon~Tokyo Ghoul

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sayleeofkanto · 6 years

Text

Pride Month Day 26

((Hey so while the rest of the oneshots for the month are about the Keyleeverse, this one’s different. For Questioning day, I wrote about me. This one’s behind a cut because it’s hella personal, hella long and has trigger warnings for internalized homophobia, external homophobia, a brief whizzby mention of suicidal ideation and some mental illness stuff))

You love hockey day, not so much for the sport itself but for being part of the team. None of your bullies are on the team, and girls who generally ignore you actually notice you, treat you like one of them. It’s almost like having friends.

The changing room is hell, though.

Focus on the wall and changing your own clothes, don’t look around, especially don’t look at her, even though your ears are attuned to every word she says and in class you can’t stop staring at her beautiful hair and her amazing skin that’s darker than all the other peely-wally Scots around here and never gets any spots and her super pretty smile--Don’t look!

What are you, some kinda creepy lesbo? Gross.

You’re not. You’re Team Jacob, right? Can’t be some gross lesbo if you like Taylor Lautner’s abs and arms (pecs are a bit weird though).

You can’t stop wanting to look at her.

Don’t look.

~~~

The Doctor going to World War II is so cool. You’re clutching a pillow to hide behind in case the creepy kid in the gas mask comes back, but you’re rapt as you watch the Doctor and Rose reunite and meet Jack and they have such easy camraderie and--

JACK: There it is. Hey, they've got Algy on duty. It must be important. DOCTOR: We've got to get past him. ROSE: Are the words “distract the guard” heading in my general direction? JACK: I don't think that'd be such a good idea. ROSE: Don't worry, I can handle it. JACK: I've got to know Algy quite well since I've been in town. Trust me, you're not his type. I'll distract him. Don't wait up. DOCTOR: Relax, he's a fifty first century guy. He's just a bit more flexible when it comes to dancing. ROSE: How flexible? DOCTOR: Well, by his time, you lot have spread out across half the galaxy. ROSE: Meaning? DOCTOR: So many species, so little time. ROSE: What, that's what we do when we get out there? That's our mission? We seek new life, and, and... DOCTOR: Dance.

Jack likes men too? Likes both?

That’s allowed?

The Doctor seems to think it’s fine. Says it’s normal in the future, even.

It’s okay to like both.

~~~

“John Barrowman’s gay, you know,” your mum says. “It was obvious he was a great actor as soon as he came out, because he’d been kissing women onstage and looking like he liked it!”

Have your parents ever talked about gay people before? It’s a surprise to hear. But they seem to be okay with it.

~~~

Wait, SesshoMaru’s a man?

He’s your first ever anime crush a short while after. You keep having to explain to people who see the printouts you stick to your jotters that he’s a man.

~~~

You find the Esmeralda figurine while cleaning out your cupboard. You’ve never seen The Hunchback of Notre Dame in full, because it always terrified you too much, but you’ve always loved Esmeralda. For a long time, you carried this figurine with you everywhere you went, this cheap little plastic thing of her in that red dress from the scene where she dances.

You put it on your desk. It’s still really pretty.

You see the movie in full for the first time when you’re nineteen and--was she POLEDANCING?!

~~~

Kurama’s a man too?!

All of your anime crushes are very beautiful, feminine-looking men. This probably doesn’t mean anything.

~~~

One of your online friends sends you a slashfic she really likes. You’re shocked to see that it’s rated K. But slash is all M-rated, stuff you have to lie to FFnet about your age to read with flaming cheeks and frantic looks over your shoulder in case your parents came home early, until you lose your nerve and skim past the dirtiest bits. How can this be slash?

It’s about Shinichi and Kaito, lots of little oneshots, some only a couple hundred words long. They hold hands and eat ice cream and watch movies and kiss, sometimes, and that’s it. They’re so cute and funny and sweet and…

Not dirty. Just like a normal relationship.

~~~

You’ve never imagined your wedding day. One of these days you’ll do everybody a favour and kill yourself, so it’s not like you’ll live long enough to see it.

~~~

You suck up sweet, fluffy M/M fics like oxygen. You’ve never seen an F/F fic.

~~~

No, Mum, I don’t have a boyfriend, I was walking with A. You know A. He’s… he’s gay.

Of course you already knew that.

No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

You don’t really want a boyfriend. Dating sounds stressful. You’re happy enough with your friends, now that you have some, you tight-knit band of Weird Kids who hide in the library all lunchtime and make plans to go see the next Harry Potter movie together or spend the weekend at somebody’s house watching movies and playing Mario Kart until 5am while eating too much pizza and drinking smuggled vodka in fizzy drinks. If you mix vodka and Irn Bru, you definitely won’t get a hangover, honest.

You’re too scared to ask a girl out. She’d think you’re gross.

~~~

Over the next decade, every single one of the weird kids will turn out to be gay, bi, or trans [i]and[/i] gay. Birds of a feather boa, K says with a laugh at age 24.

~~~

All the outfit options for female sims are just plain better. And the hair options. The faces are better, too. You have a whole neighbourhood that’s just ladies, who married ladies, because you can do that in the sims, and adopted girls, because then you don’t need any guys around.

You find this save data while transferring computers and, on a nostalgic whim, re-installing Sims 2 at age 21. You are stunned that you ever convinced yourself that this was a heterosexual way to play a video game.

~~~

P!nk’s been your favourite musician since you were 13. Amusingly, it was Conversations With My 13-Year-Old Self that made you realize how much she speaks to you. Now, after years of loving her music, her acrobatic performances, you’re going to see her live.

You keep staring at women in the crowd. Women wearing denim jackets, and button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled up, and short hair. “Look at all these dykes,” your cousin, who drove you here, scoffs.

You think they look great.

~~~

You want to travel before you go to university, so you cut your hair off and donate it to charity to raise money. You haven’t had it short since you were born, and you lose two and a half feet. You can’t stop running your hands over the back of it, spiking up the newly-short strands.

You love it.

~~~

While you’re in India, your parents phone and ask if A can stay in your room. His grandparents kept telling him to kill himself so he left home instead. You have them give the phone to him and ask him to take good care of your books and tell him that he’s okay, he’s a good person, he’s a good friend, there’s nothing wrong with being gay.

There’s nothing wrong with being gay.

Have you ever said that aloud before?

~~~

Monstrous Regiment is one of the books you brought with you. You lose count of how often you reread it. It isn’t explicitly stated, but Tonker and Lofty are definitely in love.

It makes you happy, to see women who love women on the Discworld. You start another reread.

~~~

There’s an anime society at your new university. The captain’s got a gross amount of lolicon anime on his hard drive and doesn’t like letting anybody else pick what to watch, so mostly you and a couple of other girls (women, you’re at university, you can legally drink now, you’re women now, right?) end up mocking whatever creepy shit he puts up together, complaining about the unrealistic proportions of the anime women.

“Any more than a handful’s a waste,” the nursing student scoffs. She’s a lesbian. She’s also Irish, and very much not out to her family.

You like her secretly, and keep it that way.

~~~

The Pride parade goes right past your new job, and on your lunch break, too. You watch them go by, all the flags, all the colours, everybody so happy and brave and defiant and proud.

There’s a wankstain with a megaphone in front of Parliament, yelling about how they’re all going to Hell for having sex outside of marriage.

“LET US GET MARRIED, THEN!” the crowd yells, and keeps dancing.

~~~

Your mother’s side of the family don’t like this uncle much. You join them wholeheartedly when he starts talking about conversion therapy, how kids who “think” they’re gay are “sick”, and need “help”--

He has to be hustled out to his car and told to go home early because you can’t stop shouting at him to shut the fuck up, there’s nothing wrong with those kids, how fucking dare he advocate their torture, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, being gay is beautiful--

You’ve never said that before, but you feel it wholeheartedly.

~~~

You work Saturdays and Sundays, so you can never go to Pride. You make yourself a bracelet in purple, pink and blue, the bi colours, and never take it off. It makes you feel a little braver, even if most people who see it won’t think the colours mean anything.

~~~

Your brother’s in America so the two of you set up a video call to watch the Legend of Korra finale together, and it’s amazing, mindblowing animation, incredible story, and you crack some jokes about how Asami and Korra have been for the past couple seasons. It’s a cartoon, so obviously they’d never actually be allowed to hook up, but it’s fun to imagine. The queerbaiting gets a little tiring, maybe. You’ve just learned what queerbaiting is. It’s why Dean and Cas will never kiss onscreen even though they SHOULD.

Then Asami and Korra talk and man, this keeps getting gayer. And gayer. And

They hold hands, and look into each other’s eyes, and it’s the final shot of the show, an undeniable mirror of the finale shot of The Last Airbender right before Aang and Katara kiss, and Asami and Korra don’t kiss, but Bryan Konietzko’s online right nowstressing that KORRASAMI IS REAL and they would’ve kissed if the network had let them

And then your phone’s ringing because you’re crying so hard that you dropped your laptop and didn’t notice and your brother’s worried, and you can’t stop crying, you’re so happy.

You’re so happy.

~~~

“They’re for real lesbians. They actually SAY they’re in love!”

You immediately put on the first episode of Steven Universe.

~~~

You run into your chiropractor at Pride with her wife. They’re wearing rainbow flags and wedding rings and big smiles. She’s been looking after your fucked-up feet since you were eight and you never knew. Of course, she’s under no obligation to tell her patients about her personal life, but.

You could’ve known all along that this was what a lesbian looked like, this kind, funny, successful, professional woman.

~~~

Holy shit, there are female romance options in this game that you can romance while female.

Why are they all so much more attractive than the male options?

~~~

Your group is doing Huis Clos for your end of year performance and you’re Ines. You don’t normally like makeup but you love doing up your hair and eyes and red lipstick and silk blouse and striding onstage in heels to mock Joseph and Estelle for refusing to admit that they’re in Hell and deserve to be, to talk proudly about how you murdered your cousin and seduced his wife, to try to seduce Estelle and laugh when she can’t kill you

By third year you’re joking that your acting resume is going to be all men and lesbians.

~~~

Yes, this is the third time I’ve watched The Devil Wears Prada this week. I have essays to work on, and it’s a comfort watch, y’know?

I dunno. Meryl Streep’s really good in it. I mean, Miranda’s an awful person, but she’s so powerful that you end up liking her anyway, y’know? She’s mesmerising.

~~~

Who the hell cancelled Agent Carter? Supernatural has a thousand seasons and not one single scene of Hayley Atwell in a gorgeous retro suit beating the teeth out of somebody with the nearest thing she can grab.

You most definitely have a type

~~~

No, being bisexual does not mean that you’re gay and scared to admit it.

You have this conversation a lot.

~~~

People keep telling you to get a Japanese boyfriend to teach you. There must be better reasons to have a boyfriend. Do you even want a boyfriend, really?

~~~

Why the fuck did nobody ever tip you off that Batman has an amazing lesbian cousin and where the fuck is her movie where she gets to make out with Anne Hathaway?!

~~~

Your friend is mocking her boyfriend having a gay panic over her asking him if he agrees that Idris Elba is attractive. Finding Idris Elba attractive doesn’t mean you’re gay, she scoffs, it just means you have eyes. You agree, laughing.

You don’t have to be attracted to men to see when they’re attractive.

~~~

Sure, Chris Pine is very pretty, especially when he’s naked. But Gal Gadot throwing an armoured car with her hands? That damn near physically knocks you out of your seat. You transcended your body around the time Wonder Woman went over the top but from the first moments in Themyscira your whole body’s been tingling and your higher brain functions have been DOWN. You’re shaking so hard when you come out of the cinema that you can barely use your railcard, and you can’t sleep until 5am, too busy crying from exhilaration and screaming about the movie to your brother.

Is that what attraction is always supposed to feel like? Something you’ve never felt for a woman in an impractical costume being cut up by the camera, or for any man, anywhere, ever, doing or wearing anything at all?

~~~

Tessa Thompson also tears apart armoured vehicles with her hands, and Cate Blanchett has this way of sweeping back her hair into a horned helmet, and who the fuck decided women over 30 aren’t sexy?!

You almost miss Chris Hemsworth’s shirtless scene entirely. It’s nice enough. You forget it entirely when Valkyrie gets behind that gun.

~~~

If you tell people you’re a lesbian now, they’re gonna think all bi women are just closeted lesbians.

~~~

But you remember how terrified you were that you were gay. And, a decade and a half later, you think: so what?

What if I was?

What if I am?

~~~

There is literally a neon rainbow sign over your boarding house, advertising the neon company next door. That is LITERALLY a sign, right there.

~~~

You think it, inside your head, trying the thought on for size.

I’m a lesbian.

You never knew you were suffocating until you took your first breath of air.

~~~

You have your first ever wedding fantasy at 25, and start crying in public over how beautiful your hypothetical bride looks in her dress.

~~~

Are you butch? Do you have to be butch to want to wear a waistcoat and kilt to your own wedding? This is a whole new avenue of exploration but also you so want your own kilt.

~~~

You tell your parents over video chat. They’re as supportive as you always knew they would be, but disappointed you don’t have a girlfriend.

You’ve gotta stay stealth if you want to keep your job. You’re in Japan, after all, and it’s been warned to new recruits to the company that the Japanese upper management are all very old-fashioned. If you lose your job, you could lose your visa. This is not presently actionable intel, just good to have.

But you don’t feel gross, or afraid. Just frustrated that you can’t scream it from the rooftops.

~~~

Your brother sends you some pictures of Gal Gadot in a suit for the two of you to thirst over together. He’s the best.

~~~

You actually sing Heaven Is A Place On Earth at karaoke and then your new coworker asks if you have a boyfriend.

Seriously.

~~~

Your manager is so damn pretty, but she’s Japanese. But she’s so damn pretty, and nice.

Don’t look.

Not because it’s gross. Because you want to keep your job.

~~~

Somebody describes Meryl Streep’s performance in The Devil Wears Prada as seductive and ah-ha. Of course. A powerful and influential businesswoman who has Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt in nice outfits trailing her everywhere she goes. She goes to a ball halfway through the film with two beautiful young women on her arms. Lesbian power fantasy or WHAT?

You watch it again, and notice for the first time that after Andie’s makeover, when she turns to leave the office, Miranda checks out her ass.

~~~

You want to go back to your twelve-year-old self and give her Alex Danvers, and Kate Kane, and Tonker and Lofty, and Ruby and Sapphire, and Kate McKinnon, and J the chiropractor and her wife, and tell her: this is you.

You’re okay. You always were.

~~~

Oh, you are definitely buying one of those rainbow shirts at Disneyland.

~~~

There’s nothing wrong with you.

Your feet are still pretty fucked up, and so are your knees now, after all that sitting seiza, and your eyes have always been spitting distance from legally blind, and you still have that gut problem, and you’re 25 and still get acne, and your brain’s pretty messed up on anxiety and depression

But that’s all bits. There’s nothing wrong with you.

You are gay, in every sense of the word.

#pride create-a-thon 2018 #Day 26 #personal

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