#have i just been raised to ultra use all my ingredience

[omsdoortodoor]

Door to Door Challenge Departure Date minus 22 weeks

Ian’s week

Gravel

It’s been a busy week but not much cycling.

I managed to get out and cycle the Uplowman loop in dry but windy conditions. Each training cycle ride is show on the just giving page

Bike No 3 is very dirty and needs a clean plus the gears need a bit of adjustment, I’ll have to look at my bike maintenance books or maybe just have a play with them.

I could do with a bike stand which makes life easier really but will manage without.

This week coming I hope to get out for two or three rides but will have to look for an alternative route.  They are resurfacing some of the lanes round here with gravel.  It will be great in a month’s time, when all the loose bits have gone but never fun to ride on when first laid.

Maybe a route round Culmstock & Uffculme which means crossing the ‘Great Divide’, the A38! 

We thought this might be a good week to introduce our two other crew members, Tarka (on the left) and Belle.

Belle is our six year-old Welsh Spaniel and Tarka is our 12 year-old Cocker, although we have only had him for 18 months.

They will be accompanying us on the whole challenge.  They are pretty good at travelling but I am wondering how squashed we will be in the campervan – particularly as Tarka likes to creep on to the bed, followed shortly by Belle.

So, this week started in Burnham on Sea.  Fabulous to be parked up, for free, in a road that was right next to the beach.  And first thing we had an amazing walk along the sand which resulted in very sandy dogs.  Still getting used to Celeste, but there are two things to add to the packing list:

The cordless handheld hoover (note to self - I need to check about charging en-route too)

A dog drying bag - courtesy of Pawdaw of London

Obviously not our dogs in the photo (watch this space). It would be great to just zip them up in one of these for 30 mins and hey presto! dry dogs and all sand contained in the bag ready to be shaken out later. Our two are going to look so cute in them.

Jane’s week

Food

We had lunch with friends who went to great length to make sure that all the food we ate complied with the OMS programme.  The OMS programme comprises of a number of pillars; Diet, Vitamin D, Physical Activity, Stress Management and Meditation, Medication (when recommended), Family Health and the final pillar is Change Your Life For Life.

The diet pillar does not fit any of the popular names you hear, such as keto, pescetarian or even vegan.  It was created from on research focused on people with MS.  It’s a bit like a modified Mediterranean diet, and some of you will have heard me say, for simplicity, “I am vegan + fish”.  It is more complicated than that.  It is plant based with fish and low saturated fat, but there are certain cooking methods that we avoid.

We refer to the NOVA groups for food processing scale, which has four categories:

Group 1 - Unprocessed or minimally processed foods

Group 2 - Processed culinary ingredients

Group 3 - Processed foods

Group 4 - Ultra-processed food and drink products

We avoid group 4 – Ultra-processed food and drink products, with occasional exceptions.  At home, Ian follows this eating programme with me, which makes it so much easier.  And so day to day, we can comply 100% with this programme.  This means that when we are eating with friends, or travelling, there is some room for the occasional exception.  A really good example of this is when we are travelling.  If we need to pick up lunch on the go, even a vegan ready-made sandwich or wrap would be out of bounds.  Luckily none of the foods cause an allergic reaction or ‘cause’ my MS. But there is evidence to show that following all the pillars of the programme reduces deterioration in mobility by 50%.  So while no one can be 100% all of the time, that is a massive incentive to follow it as much as possible.

If anyone is interested in knowing more about the eating programme, here’s a link to the website:

The HOLISM study has generated over 15 research papers published in top peer-reviewed medical journals, such as Frontiers in Neurology, PLOS ONE<, BMC Neurology and BMC Psychiatry.  If anyone is interested in the research the link is here:

 

Following this OMS programme has made me explore different food options and a few weeks ago I went on a Vegan Cheese Making course, run by the owner of Kinda Co.  I can now made vegan Ricotta, soft cream cheese, Mozzarella, fondu and cheddar.

One of my side effects of MS is neurological pain, pain that your usual paracetamol does not touch.  So having gone to bed pain free, on Monday night, I woke on Tuesday at 4.30am in excruciating pain in my right thigh.  Firstly, I just tried to zone out of it – but no joy.  So, after two hours I decided to use a mindfulness meditation session.  I chose a 20-minute body scan technique, which also incorporated an element of breathing exercises.  Thankfully it helped, but sometimes it can be so difficult to pinpoint why I should just wake up in pain.

I have a little confession to make.  On the same ferry we bought the Velo En France book mentioned in an earlier episode, I also bought this.

There are a few places listed in the book which are directly on our route.  I thought it might be fun, the water should be warmish in September and the dogs will love it. And of course I will have these super-duper drying bags.  Now, truth be told, I am not a strong swimmer so I do not know if my swimming will be up to this.  Since January I have trying to find someone, somewhere who gives 1-1 lessons to adult swimmers.  Four months later, I have finally found someone.  So, this week, I have booked 1-1 lessons and a group crash course to improve swimming stroke all happening in May.  The final part of that jigsaw will be building up my strength.  But, more on that another week.

I am not putting my weekly table up this week, because for a variety of reasons there are 2 days when I have just had such a different routine and two days when I have really not been great, that the figures would be meaningless.  However, my little table will be back next week. 

But what I forgot to say in last weeks blog, was that in preparation for our Easter weekend away, I had to collect the leisure battery for Celeste.  It is double the size of your normal car battery and we reckon it weighed 25 lbs.  I picked it up from the ground, carried it and put it in the back of the car.  (I then left it in the boot of the car for Ian to take our once he got home, deciding that I had done my strength training for the day). So I was very proud of myself for doing that.  And that’s the funny thing about my MS.  On some days I am completely amazing.

#ms awareness #multiple sclerosis #cycle rides #omsdoortodoor #ms #overcomingms

[nickgerlich]

Meat Of The Matter

I have told the story many times before, but you know what? A good story is worth retelling. At least this is the first time you have to hear about it. The people closest to me can’t make that statement, because they are often held victim for encore performances.

And so the story goes: It was back in the 1970s, and for some reason, beef prices had spiked. My Dad The Accountant, and also the household Purchasing Agent for all things food-related, declared a moratorium on high prices. He went in search of an alternative, and stumbled upon some first-gen soy burgers at the supermarket. Upon buying a pack, he proudly proclaimed to the family unit that he had found the cure to inflation.

They tasted like cardboard, and we roundly let him know that never should these bland things ever enter our domicile again. He heard our cries, thankfully.

But food manufacturers have made great strides since then in the meatless department, or, as it is called today, plant-based foods. That’s the buzz-phrase of the decade so far, in fact.

The category got a big boost a few years ago when Beyond and Impossible introduced the latest versions of burgers and meat products, yet made entirely from plants. They looked like, cooked like, and sometimes tasted like, the real deal. Those cardboard discs from the 70s were just distant bad memories now.

Alas, sales have plateaued in recent months. There have been concerns raised over ingredients and the overall healthiness of them, a valid criticism when you are talking about trans fats. It’s one thing to be able to say there’s no cholesterol (which is true), but if you replace it with a bunch of fats, what have you gained?

Then there’s the issue that the primary target market for products like these is not vegans and vegetarians, but rather omnivores who want to go “light” for a meal by just grazing.

More recently, there is a small but growing number of manufacturers now offering plant-based alternatives that really are healthier, and not laden with fats. They are all trying to gain shelf and freezer space at stores like Whole Foods, Sprouts, and Natural Grocers. Consumers are driving this push, demanding ever more healthy options.

Some omnivores wonder why these alternatives are manufactured in the familiar shapes and sizes of their meat-based inspirations. That reflects a lack of understanding about why people eat them in the first place, from those part-time grazers to the hard cores. Familiarity is a key factor here, but we should also remember that mainstream hamburgers and cheese didn’t exactly fall off the cow and onto our plates the way they are shaped. Burgers are a cultural touchstone, a menu staple in the US.

Now, before I continue, and in the interest of transparency, I will say that I have been an herbivore for more than 30 years. I don’t use my position nor my blog as a bully pulpit. I honor what you like to eat; that’s your business. It’s about respect. What you put into your mouth is none of my concern, and I what I don’t put in my mouth is none of yours. I try to say that delicately.

Sadly, this dietary choice has been thrown under the Woke Bus, yet another misuse of the word as well as the social media laughing face emoji. I have to laugh back, because this means I was “woke” long before the word entered the common lexicon.

I can be cool like that.

When it comes to these plant-based products, I don’t eat them very often, mostly because I try to minimize the amount of processed and ultra-processed foods I eat. But, in the event I am invited to a cookout, I’ll bring a veggie burger to throw on the grill, and we’re all enjoying the same basic repast. The same goes if there is nothing plant-based on a restaurant menu, other than a Beyond or Impossible. I’m good with it.

Why people choose this path is also a multifaceted decision, and includes factors like health, fitness, sustainability, religion, allergies, and ethics. I keep my reasons to myself, just like I hope that everyone does. No one wants to hear why we should or shouldn’t eat something. That’s a great way to ruin a party.

As I look back to those nasty burger substitutes Dad bought, I must say we have indeed come a long way. But we still have a long way to go. For now, I am happy spending most of my shopping time in the fresh produce department, with occasional forays to breads, pastas, spices, and sauces. I prefer to cook as fresh as possible.

At the same time, I am interested to see what comes next. I’ll give them a test drive when the time comes. Meanwhile, enjoy your food. Be thankful that you have food. And as the Hard Rock Cafe intoned many years ago in their tag line, “Love One Another.”

Respect is a two-way street. That’s my story.

Dr “Just Heat Mine Up” Gerlich

Audio Blog

#marketing #food #plant-based

[pebbledeficit]

major pet peeve: watching cooking shows on youtube and seeing the cooks be wasteful with their ingredients

#like what's the deal with that?? #take out the stem of champignons and throw them away so you can put them flat on the board for easier cutting :) #chop off the entire top and bottoms of bell peppers so you have flat #and DON'T use any of the perfectly fine flesh on there #cut away about an extra inch from the stems of those spring onions because why not #throw away whole broccoli stem #i don't care if they spill some shit with their chaotic energy #but just not using half your shit because you want to make the most low effort prepping? hellfire #have i just been raised to ultra use all my ingredience #is it me who is the outlier #i don't know but i angy

[broccoliboix5peepeeman]

for a writing request, could you do tddk attempting to cook (attempting to because well, shoto is an absolute kitchen disaster)? :0 your writing is really good, thank you so much !!

Of course thank youuuuuu! Sorry this took so long! (@randomstuff7739)

I have a hc that Izuku's favourite food is katsudon because it's also Inko's favourite and they'd eat it a lot. When he was little, they used to cook it together and they'd both smile and laugh, and Izuku would feel truly happy. It's one of the happier memories of his childhood, so whenever he has katsudon now, he feels warmth in more ways than one. <3

It was Inko-san's birthday, so she had special permission to come up to UA so Izuku could spend time with her and cook her favourite meal. Now, obviously Shoto had insisted on helping him out because Inko-san was a wonderful woman and he really wanted her to like him.

Today had to be perfect.

Izuku had a solid plan in place and Shoto was adamant not to fuck it up.

The only problem was that - as much as he didn't want to admit it - Shoto was absolutely atrocious at cooking. Ever since he had cremated a clove of garlic while making egg-fried rice, he hadn't been allowed anywhere near a wok, let alone been allowed to cook on his own.

He had quickly learned that Izuku would not be deterred by that though. His boyfriend had planned it out; Shoto was to make dessert under his supervision, while his boyfriend cooked katsudon. They were to use the common room kitchen, so other students could intervene if necessary.

Shoto thought it was a perfect plan.

'Okay, so I made the chocolate ganache dipping for the churros last night to save time, so don't worry about that for now. You just have to focus on making the batter for the crepe cones, then we'll separate it out and add more flour to the churro batter. Okay, Shouchan?' Izuku called out as he took all the necessary ingredients out of their various cupboards. He had already begun preparing the katsudon - because apparently that took longer to make - and was at a point where he could get everything ready for Shoto to start on the dessert.

'Got it.' Shoto nodded from his place in the centre of the kitchen, holding up a spatula that he had no idea what to do with.

'Good! I-' Izuku placed the flour and milk on the counter and turned to look at him, his smile quickly turning into a confused frown. 'What are you doing with that?'

When Shoto merely shrugged in response, his boyfriend wandered over, carefully took the spatula from him and put it back in the drawer. 'You only need that after you've made the batter.'

Izuku then took Shoto's hand and slowly led him to the countertop he had set up for him. 'Okay so here's the mixing bowl. First you wanna put the sugar in, then add your eggs. I've already measured out all your ingredients so you should be fine, but you need to crack your eggs. Do you think you can do that?'

'Do you really have that little faith in me, Izuku?' Shoto raised an eyebrow, pointedly ignoring the fact that his boyfriend wasn't answering. 'I've cracked eggs before.'

'Okay, okay.' Izuku raised his hands defensively with a half-smile. 'After you've added them, mix them together. When you're done, add a little bit of the flour, then a bit of milk, then mix and repeat until you run out of both, okay?'

Shoto nodded slowly, eyes flickering across the counter as he processed what had been said. He spotted two mixing jugs, one of them was labelled with 'MILK!' while the other had 'FLOUR :)' printed across it.

'Got it.' He announced, only feeling a little bit patronised. He couldn't be annoyed though, not when Izuku was beaming at him like he was the happiest person in the world.

'Awesome! We'll leave it there for now. I'm going to bread the pork while you do that, so let me know if you need a hand!'

'Okay.'

His boyfriend stood on his tiptoes to plant a quick kiss on Shoto's cheek, before dashing past him to his own counter, which was much less organised. Shoto watched him go, before noticing a flash of pink out of the corner of his eye. He turned to find Ashido grinning at him from one of the sofas.

When she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and tapped the left side of her head, Shoto suddenly noticed the little flames that had started to dance along the crimson half of his hair.

He sighed with exasperation and extinguished them - the last thing he needed was the smoke alarm going off before he had even started - then turned back to his worktop.

Okay, Shoto. You got this. Sugar first. He eyed the cup on top of the weighing scales that said 'Sugar that's not as sweet as you ;)'.

Shoto blushed at that and swallowed thickly, before quickly taking the cup and pouring it into the bowl. Easy enough. Right, next I need to crack the eggs.

He spotted an open box on the side, with two large eggs sat snugly inside. Shoto was thankful that Izuku hadn't put a label on that one and took the first egg. He stared at it for several moments.

Lob it at Bakugou. His mind suddenly suggested.

If it weren't for the limited supply, he might have listened, but alas, he was on a mission not to disappoint Izuku on his mum's birthday.

Shaking his head, Shoto focused back on the task at hand. While he had cracked eggs before, he hadn't been very good at it. Maybe this time would be different?

He eyed the glass edge of the mixing bowl and nodded, before tapping the egg against it with enough force to crack it, but not enough to open it. Shoto furrowed his eyebrows and stuck his thumbs into the crack to finish the job.

It worked, he reasoned, he just coated his hands in more egg than he had expected in the process. He fished out the three bits of shell that had landed in the bowl, before cleaning himself up and picking up the second egg.

Okay, a little harder this time.

He smacked the egg against the bowl, sending its innards flying out everywhere.

Fuck...

Shoto quickly scrambled to catch it all before plopping it into the bowl with a wet squelch. Resigned to his fate, he poked his sticky hands back in to remove the nine bits of shell that had made their way in that time.

By the time, he had thrown out the egg shells and washed his hands, Izuku had already finished breading his pork and was now chopping his onions. Shoto tried not to let his mind wander and grabbed a spoon to mix the sugar and eggs together.

It didn't take long and he stood back to look proudly at his work.

Positively disgusting. Okay, what's next?

He looked around the counter and spotted the flour. Izuku said add the flour then the milk.

He picked up the jug, regarded it for several moments, before pouring the entire contents in the bowl. He stared at his creation, before wielding his spoon once more and mixing the flour in.

Three minutes and one sore wrist later, Shoto was pouring the milk in. However, as he tried to combine the bowl's contents, something didn't seem right - there were these weird lumps poking out that he just couldn't get rid of.

Shoto spent the next five minutes trying to remedy the situation but was evidently unsuccessful. Finally admitting defeat, he picked up the bowl, plodded over to Izuku and tapped him on the shoulder.

'What's up, Shouchan? Are you finish-' His boyfriend stopped short when he finally noticed the bowl. 'What did you do?'

'I mixed the sugar and eggs. Then the flour, then the milk.' He recited, praying to All Might that he was right.

'You put the flour in all at once, even though I said add a bit at a time along with the milk?'

Fuck.

'Perhaps…' He narrowed his eyes.

'It's gone super lumpy.' Izuku furrowed his eyebrows and placed a contemplative hand to his chin as he began muttering to himself. Shoto immediately felt guilty, but before he could apologise, Izuku held out his hands. 'Pass it here.'

Nodding slowly, he transferred the bowl over and watched, intrigued as Izuku began mixing it. With each rotation, his pace increased, until emerald and scarlet lightning danced across his skin and his movements became too fast for Shoto to see.

The glass clinked slightly, and a few drops escaped the mixture, but when Izuku handed it back to him, now lump-free, Shoto could do nothing but stare at him in awe.

'Are you magic?'

'No, I'm Izuku.'

'And I am single.' Shoto quipped back, smiling slightly at the affronted gasp his boyfriend made.

'That wasn't very Plus Ultra of you, Shoto-kun.' Izuku placed a hand to his chest in mock hurt. 'Lucky for you, you can't get rid of me that easily.'

'Hm.' Shoto smiled, gazing at his boyfriend adoringly. He'd never want to. 'What's next?'

'Stand there and look pretty while I finish chopping these onions.' Izuku winked, before turning and picking up the knife. Shoto tried not to freeze the bowl to his hands.

When his boyfriend finished, he led Shoto back to the countertop and added a bit of water. Shoto didn't even bother to ask why and just stood there, watching as Izuku nodded to himself and started to separate out the batter.

There were now two bowls of mixture. 'Okay, so the one on the left is for the crepes, the right is for the churros. I'm gonna put some more flour in the churro one along with some cinnamon, then we can leave it for when mum gets here.'

'Sounds good to me.'

With Izuku taking the lead, they quickly managed to get the dessert sorted and stored in the fridge. Shoto decided to do the washing up while his partner continued preparing the katsudon.

Izuku had just put the lid over the wok when Aizawa-Sensei entered the common room with Inko.

'Mum!' Izuku exclaimed, bouncing over and throwing his arms around her shoulders to hug her close to his chest. 'Happy birthday!'

Shoto slowly dried his hands with a towel and wandered over to the two Midoriyas. When Izuku finally pulled away, both of them had dried tear trails on their cheeks that Shoto had quickly learned was a completely normal occurrence.

'Happy birthday, Inko-san.' He came to a stop in front of her and bowed. 'It's an honour to see you again.'

'Oh my, so polite!' She smiled playfully, stepping forwards and taking his hands. 'It's great to see you again, sweetie. I hope Izuku hasn't been getting you into more trouble.'

'Mum!'

'It's my birthday, I'm allowed to say what I want.' Inko pouted at her son, before flashing Shoto another smile. 'I hear you're helping Izuku with dinner?'

'Yeah, I'm helping with dessert.' He nodded awkwardly, hoping she'd let go of his hands soon because he was feeling rather warm. 'Izuku is doing the-'

'It's a surprise, Shouchan!' Izuku suddenly interrupted, scrambling to clamp a hand over his mouth.

Shoto hummed around his palm before sticking his tongue out to lick his hand, eliciting a surprised screech from his boyfriend, much to Inko's amusement.

'Okay, you two.' She glanced at them knowingly. I'm going to say hello to your friends while you finish your special surprise.'

'Inko-saaaan!!!!' Uraraka exclaimed, thoroughly distracting her and allowing Izuku to pull Shoto back into the kitchen. When they were out of earshot, Izuku turned to him.

'Okay, so you don't actually have to do anything except maybe get me some bowls, but I figured I'd give you the chance to take a breather. You looked a little flustered back there.'

'I thought I looked fine…'

'You looked beautiful, but I know you really want to impress mum - even though she already loves you.' Izuku smiled warmly at him and winked. 'So be a dear and get the bowls so you can say you helped me plate up.'

Another day and Shoto would've had a witty retort for that, but today he was just thankful to have something to do to calm his nerves. So instead, he turned on his heel and gathered three bowls from the cupboard, including Izuku's All Might-themed one, and set them on the side.

His boyfriend flashed him another smile, before they began serving the katsudon.

☀️🌙

'That was absolutely fantastic! Thank you, my favourite boys!' Inko beamed at Shoto from across the table, whilst capturing Izuku in a side hug.

Shoto didn't know how to respond to that. After all, he didn't do any of the katsudon.

'I didn't-'

'There's still dessert, mum!' Izuku laughed, thoroughly content with having the life squeezed out of him.

'I couldn't possibly!' Inko shook her head, finally relinquishing her hold on her son. 'I've been watching my weight recently and-'

'Shoto-kun made it though!'

'I think you look fine, Inko-san.' Shoto chimed in. 'And your weight is perfectly normal for a mother who has such a stress-inducing son.'

'Hey!'

'Your words have tempted me, Todoroki-kun.' Inko winked, ignoring Izuku's unintelligible protests. 'In that case, I'd love to try your dessert.'

Back in the kitchen, Shoto retrieved the two bowls of batter from the fridge, whilst his boyfriend set up the frying pan and the deep fryer.

'Okay, so while I'm deep-frying the churros, you can make the crepes. I've put oil in the pan. Wait until it's hot, then it's the same as making a pancake. Sound good?'

'Everything you say sounds good.' Shoto replied easily, placing his bowl on the side.

'Flirt.' Izuku teased affectionately, before turning away to start piping the churro mix.

Shoto smiled softly and watched him go, before quickly glancing back at Inko, who was still sat at the dining table. When their eyes met and she smiled knowingly at him, his cheeks flooded with heat and he quickly turned back to the oven.

Eager to look busy, he poured the first bit of batter into the pan. Halfway through, realisation set in and he lowered the bowl to look at his creation with horror.

Fuck, I didn't wait for the pan to heat up.

Looking back on this day in the years to come, Shoto could say with absolute confidence that this moment was when it all went downhill.

'Er…' He frantically looked around for a solution, adamant not to bother Izuku. His eyes eventually landed on his hands and a thought crossed his mind. 

If I can heat up the pan faster, maybe it'll be fine?

Shoto stared down the pan, before picking it up with his right hand and placing his left underneath. Fire burst out from his palm, as hot as he could reasonably conjure. It was going great, he reckoned; the oil started sizzling and the batter started to brown.

Nodding to himself, Shoto extinguished his flames and moved to flip the crepe. However, it wouldn't move. No matter how hard he tried to shake it around in the pan, it was glued to the spot.

Not wanting to admit defeat just yet, he put the pan down and used the spatula to separate it. Impatient, he ended up ripping the crepe in half, flipping it over to find that it had completely blackened.

'What's that smell, Sho?'

Fuck. 

He glanced to the side. Izuku had started walking over, concern written all over his face.

In retrospect, Shoto should've really just told the truth. However, at that moment, his pride couldn't take it.

'Nothing!'

Scooping up the entire crepe onto his spatula, he shoved the entire thing in his mouth to hide any evidence. His eyes immediately started to water and he quickly cooled his mouth down to prevent any second-degree burns, albeit his tongue was definitely going to feel numb for the next few days.

Composing himself, Shoto turned to find Izuku staring at him, eyebrow raised and hands on his hips. He didn't miss the worry in his boyfriend's eyes though.

'You didn't give the pan time to heat up, did you?'

Oh, he caught me...

Unable to speak, Shoto nodded his head and chewed sadly.

'What am I going to do with you, eh?' A calloused hand came to rest against his scarred cheek. 'Are you okay? You burn your mouth?'

Shoto swallowed the last of the crepe and shivered, the taste of charred batter lingering.

'Just my tongue. I'll be fine.'

Izuku hummed softly and opened his mouth to say something.

However, whatever he was about to say immediately died on his lips, because at that moment, the deep fryer decided that it had been neglected for too long and that now would be the perfect time to catch fire with a dramatic fwoosh.

'Holy motherfucking shit!' Izuku exclaimed, scrambling away to fetch something to extinguish it with. 'Fucking cheap pile of worthless-'

'I got it.' Shoto raised his right hand and shot out a chunk of ice.

'No!' Izuku practically screeched. 'You can't use water on an oil-!'

It was too late, a layer of frost sat on top of the fryer, smothering the fire… For a solid two seconds, before the entire thing exploded into flames.

'Oh fuck.' Shoto muttered, watching as the blaze grew, turning the walls black and filling his lungs with smoke.

Luckily for him, Momo was on standby. She quickly created several wet-chemical fire extinguishers and together, her and Izuku got to work, while Shoto stood with Inko and watched from the side. 

When the threat had been averted, Shoto continued to stare as Izuku and Momo sorted the carnage. 'I am so sorry, Inko-san. I ruined your birthday, didn't I?'

Inko chuckled and moved to hug Shoto's right arm.

'It's okay, sweetie. You haven't ruined my birthday… Although I take it dessert is no longer happening.'

When Shoto nodded solemnly, she squeezed a little tighter. 'If it makes you feel any better, I thoroughly enjoyed today. Any time spent with you and Izuku is a gift, I rarely see him nowadays.'

She didn't sound particularly sad, but Shoto still felt bad for her. He knew his own mother had found it difficult being alone for so long. He couldn't even imagine how Inko was feeling. From what Izuku had told him, the two of them had been best friends his entire life. To go from seeing each other every day to once every few months must've hurt.

'It must be difficult.' He looked at the floor.

'At first it was, but not so much now.' Inko smiled at him when Shoto chanced a glance at her. 'I used to be so worried back in your first year. He'd throw himself into everything and get hurt. I swear I aged ten years.'

'You and me both.' Shoto muttered.

'Oh hush, you.' She giggled. 'But he's grown so much and he's got wonderful people around him, like you, and I know you'll protect and take care of each other.'

'What about you?'

'Me?' Inko seemed amused at the question. 'I have people around me too, don't you worry.'

Now was Shoto's perfect opportunity.

'Is it All Might?'

Inko's lip wobbled and she burst out laughing, eliciting an embarrassed blush to cross Shoto's face.

'All Might is one of those people, yes.' She wiped a tear from her eye. 'But I'm friends with your mother too, remember?'

'That's true.' Shortly after his mother had been released from the hospital, Inko had reached out to her and the two had become fast friends.

What was it about the Midoriyas always going out of their way to befriend a Todoroki?

'So don't worry about me, honey.' Inko continued, as they watched Izuku pour the blackened churros into the bin. When his boyfriend caught them staring, Inko waved at him as if half the kitchen wasn't in utter chaos.

She chuckled. 'Worry about your cooking instead.'

#tododeku #todoroki shoto #midoriya izuku #midoriya inko #tw: food #AgarJelly writes #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #todoizu #tw: eating

[kidney9-9]

Math Man - Peter Parker

hello! i love you! this is a checkpoint, please drink some water today if you haven’t already :) hope you enjoy this oneshot!! masterlist is linked in bio. also gif is not related to oneshot at all, but look at their smiles aww so sweet 

Peter Parker x Reader [fluff/funny] Warning: Swearing Word Count: 1k

You hummed to yourself, kicking your legs out, on top of Peter’s laptop as he was taking one of his tests. It was such a boring day to you, you already got done with all your schoolwork, and work with the team so you didn’t know what to do. You decided to hang out with your boyfriend but here he was, being silent.

“Hey Peter?” You mumbled after you heard the tone of silence ring through your ears. You didn’t want to hear it today, you just wanted to do something, you’ve already chilled enough. Peter glanced over to you quickly, furrowing his eyebrows. You cringed internally, seeing him struggle to click on an answer, not bothering to push your legs off.

When he didn’t answer you blew out a heavy sigh, “Fuck me…”. With that, his gaze on you was steady, slight annoyance bubbling under his skin, and you didn’t care. You just needed to do something. You grinned back to him when you heard a slight “hm”.

“You know that song that goes ‘Peter Parker please finish your test and talk to me’?” You sang offkey, giggling over the sounds. You saw him crack a tiny smile before it disappeared into a sound. You groaned when he didn’t reply though, and you glanced to the screen.

It was some dumb math question and you rolled your eyes. “Man, even I know that answer. It’s obviously… uh, it’s obviously, four apples. And maybe add in some pie ingredients, because fuck, that’s too many apples for one day.” You spoke loudly into his ear, moving your feet off his lap. You rested your head on his shoulder, wiggling your eyebrows, and Peter stifled a chuckle, seeing your reflection on the screen.

“It’s about air conditioners, babe.” He responded, whispering without taking his eyes off the laptop. You “oohed” exaggeratedly, scrunching your nose. It was just some joke, but it was funny seeing Peter react that way.

“You smell that?” You paused, asking him even louder and he shook his head in confusion and irritation now, seeing that he only had ten minutes to finish the test, and he had 5 more questions to do.

“Smells like fuckin’ B.O in here, but B.O as in Barbie’s Order of pizza. Maybe Tony bought more pizza. Is he throwing a party again? I wonder if he bought us juice again… fuck I hope he got the right one. Like not that coconut orange shit, but the classical one. That has fancy bubbles. What’s that called? Oh fuck, it’s cider. Yeah...” You trailed off, eyes widening when you realized how long you’ve been rambling for.

Finally, Peter pushed his last answer, and looked over to you, “You’re insane but I love you. And now I hope the teacher doesn’t email me about fancy bubbles and apple pies. The mic is on during tests.” Peter couldn’t have told you how much he wanted to laugh, but it probably would have resulted in an F, but he wondered if he would still get an okay grade now.

“I dunno, but like… Isn’t that illegal? For people to listen to you, it’s like hacking right? My goodness, is your teacher a super-secret ultra-spy person thing?” You started laughing back, shaking your head as you rolled away from him, still on the couch.

Peter paused, his eyesight wandering down to his shoes, as he thought about it. “Oh.” He retorted quietly, realizing he probably shouldn’t have been taking tests in the Compound anyway, regardless if teachers could hear.

You shrugged, “I’m actually craving pizza and bubble non-alcoholic shit now.” Peter quickly shook his confusion off about school as his head turned to face you.

“Again, I repeat, you’re insane, and I love you. Let’s get some pizza and I think we still have that bubble drink here, if Bucky hasn’t drunk all of it already.” Peter replied, almost giggling as you tilted your head back to him, with a funny look.

“Love you too, math man. Haha, get it? Math test and school… and because you’re a man.” You laughed as random words poured out of your mouth. Peter fell back on the couch with a loud laugh, reaching out for you and wrapping his arms around you.

You laughed and snorted along with him, trying to catch your breath and hugged him back. You were glad things were starting to be less boring now, and you could tell Peter was happier too, after finishing the last of his work.

“I don’t think I’ve said it enough today, but I really love you.” Peter whispered, softly resting a hand on the back of your head. You shifted slightly, getting into a comfier position to cuddle him better, with him under you on the couch.

Your face softened as you gazed down to him and you slowly pressed your lips on his forehead, wiping some hair out of his face. “I love you very much.”  You mumbled, and Peter smiled to you gently, leaning upwards and captured your lips in a slow, deep kiss.

You heard footsteps behind you, and you quickly pulled away, sitting up and shooting Peter an apologetic look, wanting to kiss him more. You glanced to the entrance of the room, groaning when you saw it was Bucky again. He always loved bugging the two of you, like an annoying older brother.

“Heard something about pizza? And that juice. I want in.” Bucky interrupted, grinning cheekily to you and Peter.

Peter shook his head in amusement, “Okay, but this time Y/n and I chose the type of pizza, and you get to choose the movie.” He paused, raising his eyebrows as Bucky sighed back, mumbling about how it was unfair.

“And please… please don’t choose Jurassic Park again.” Peter begged and Bucky shook his head instantly.

“No deal, man. I’ll just go hang out with Sam anyway, he appreciates good movies.” Bucky retorted sassily and you snorted at the bickering.

“Okay, see you for practice tomorrow, let me and math man watch comedy movies that aren’t about dinosaurs now.” You got into the conversation, laughing as Bucky ticked his tongue in a disapproving way.

After he left the room, you pulled out your phone to order the pizza, as Peter wrapped his arm around you again. “I like that name, math man.” He sighed slightly snuggling closer to you. You pressed the call button, and just before they picked up, you pecked Peter’s forehead again, chuckling as he tried to kiss your lips.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker fluff #peter parker fanfiction #thanks for reading beautiful!! #kidney9-9

[crystalgirl259]

The Flame and the Dragon Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Human Again

Echo barked orders as the staff while digging a mountain of dust out of the candle holders and polishing them until the iron shined. Cole had only given them a day to get this ballroom perfect, so they had no chance to slack off. Not if they wanted this curse broken. Jay pushed a rag as big as him across the window clearing away trails of dust and leaving the clean stain glass glittering in his wake. Pixal sighed as she whipped her forehead from exhaustion.

She had been helping Ultra Violet and Harumi clean the stained glass ceiling, and her wings ached from their constant fluttering.

Harumi unhooked the tapestries and drapes and gathered them into a pile that Nelson gathered for washing. Down below Neuro and Tox swept away a century of dirt and dust from the frosty glass floor and out over the balcony. Unfortunately, once the chandeliers, ceilings, and windows were done, more dust caked the floor in dark clumps. Echo gazed over their progress from the chandeliers and groaned. After hours of cleaning the ballroom still needed a lot of work, but he was determined.

The first layer of dust and the cobwebs had been cleared from the windows and chandeliers, they just had to clean the rest of the place.

But with some of the staff still doing the regular chores and Shade still deciding what to make and gathering ingredients, they had little help. There was no point in asking Griffin. The second Echo told him about the ball, he had locked himself in his studio. It was only a matter of time before Harumi joined him. Sensing the poor team morale, Echo cleared his throat loudly, catching everyone's attention.

"Right then! You all know why we're here! We have exactly twelve hours, thirty-six minutes, and fifteen seconds to create the most magical, spontaneous, romantic atmosphere known to man or beast." He chuckled weakly at his little joke, but no one else did, so he got more serious. "Right then, I'm sure that I don't need to remind you all that if the flame goes out of the candle, the spell will never be broken!"

"Lighten up Echo and let nature take its course!" Ronin called out and the others all made sounds of agreement.

"It's obvious there's a spark between them." Nelson giggled.

"Yeah but there's no harm in fanning the flames a little; if we pull this off, and Kai is the key, we could all finally be human again!" Tox cheered with starry eyes.

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, Tox," Neuro chided gently.

"I don't think she's that far off," Harumi answered. "I mean it's obvious there's something going on between those two, and, think about it; have any of you actually thought of what it would be like to be human again? Finally human after all this time?" She asked and everyone in the room suddenly paused. They had thought of that. They still remembered the earlier days of their cursed existences when they could only take the form of the monsters they were cursed too.

How difficult it had been to change between their physical and spectral forms.

How tricky it had been to muster enough energy to maintain a physical body in their human appearances, but even then they only lasted a short time. Shade couldn't even leave the kitchen without the risk of fading away forever. He may not say it, but everyone knew it hurt the chef more than anyone. Over the last one hundred years, they had feared, hated, despised, and relished in their new existences. They eventually started doing what they had always done and lived their lives to the fullest and trying to make each day a little better than the last.

Even with the dark curse looming over their heads, they had had time to prepare for it.

To accept it. To come to terms with it whether the curse was broken or not. But when Cole had fallen into despair and nothing the staff could do could change his moods or bring him out of the dark, lonely existence he had accepted for himself, they too seemed chained to their fate by despair. But the past four to five months had changed all that. Kai's presence in the castle had given them a spark of hope and they were no longer afraid to continue to live their lives again.

This time they prepared for two outcomes.

Their end which if that was the case they would go to with no regrets knowing they were loyal to Cole to the end and knowing they lived their lives to the best of their ability. The other one was where the spell is broken and they become human and their lives began all over again. Even though all of them were hoping for the latter, it was still terrifying regardless. The thought of being human again. Of the possibility of a new life and the chance to either remain in the castle that had always been their home or to start over in a new one.

Either one promised its own laughs and tears, its own joys and heartaches, but wasn't that what freedom was?

Wasn't that what being human truly meant?

"I'm not sure what I'd do if I were human again," Tox pondered to herself."I don't really think I'd leave here, I mean, as much as I love to leave the castle for once and see the kingdom again and what's changed in the last century, I don't really think I'd have any other place to go, this is my home after all; I guess, I'd just live like I have been, doing what I love until the day I die, and to be honest, I am getting sick of constantly being so young." She smiled and looked at her hands with a chuckle.

"Oh, I can't wait to start aging again!" Nelson added, immediately.

"I am so sick of looking like a teen! I swear I don't care if I grow old and die, if this is what being young forever is like, then all those children's tales can keep their immortality and eternal youth nonsense," Echo chided, sweeping up a cloud of dust in his anger until a laughing Jay stopped him.

"I second that." Ronin raised his hand. "Honestly, though, I think I'd like to find something else to do, I mean I can't exactly be Cole's servant forever."

"I wouldn't mind," Jay added, pulling himself onto the windowsill to sit. His eyes wandered to Echo who continued to battle the dust in the window. "Though there is one thing I'd like to do if I were human again."

"What's that?" Echo asked curiously since he was the only one close enough to hear the mumble. Jay just smiled.

"I'll tell you later."

"Would you miss your spirit form, Jay? You know like being able to fly and control lightning and stuff?" Tox asked.

"Probably," He laughed. "But it was fun while it lasted, and you can only fly and be covered in fuzz for so long before it gets boring."

"Would you miss flying, Pixal?" Neuro asked nervously. "I know you can in your pixie form."

"Well, I think of it as a new experience, like when you jump in a lake for the first time; at the time the experience is amazing and it's a wonderful and fond memory, but if you do it too often, you get bored of it so, I think I will miss flying, but it's not like I won't be able to take the experience with me." She giggled.

"That's a good point!" Nelson added.

"I don't think I'll miss my spirit form," Ronin laughed, leaning against the wall. "My human body is certainly not as short that's for sure, I wonder how Shade will handle not being trapped in the kitchens?"

"I doubt that being bound to the kitchen is much much fun," Harumi replied and turned to Neuro. "What about you?" She asked and he blinked at her response. "It seems we've neglected your opinions on the matter?"

"Well, I think I'd like to be human again."

"Why's that?" Tox asked curiously.

"I know I'm alive and not knowing when I'll die instead of having a clock ticking over my head," He said with a small leer. With that said, they all returned to their respective tasks. If they had any hope of becoming human again, this night needed to get off without a problem. As they all worked and gossiped amongst themselves, Echo was surprised when Jay suddenly dragged him away from his work so they could talk privately. He almost stumbled over his own foot in his attempts to keep up with the faster male.

Again he cursed his youthful form.

He hated that his body had to freeze in time just as he was finally beginning to mature physically.

"Jay! We're almost by the dining hall!" The boy cried as he dug the heels of his boots into the stone of the floor, kicking up the rug as he did so, forcing Jay to stop and turn around, but he didn't release his hold on Echo's hand.

"You said you wanted to tell me something? Well out with it? I don't want to be away from the ballroom for too long."

"We won't be that long," Jay smirked.

"Don't even think about it." Echo growled and blushed.

"Actually, I wasn't, I just want to ask you something very important." Jay laughed. Echo crossed his arms and straightened himself.

"Well?" He asked impatiently. Jay took a breath and stiffened his back.

"Will you do me the honors of being my date for the ball? Not as a friend or as a companion but as mine and no one else's?" He asked with a sweet smile. Echo swore he felt his footing slip like the ground was about to give way beneath him.

"P-P-Pardon?"

"I want us to go to the ball together, where everyone will know we're together if they don't already," Jay replied as his serious eyes betrayed his normally perky expression, but it told Echo he had never been more certain of anything before.

"You really want to take me?" He asked, his voice was shaking, but from what he wasn't sure.

"Of course, I do, I love you, and let's face it we can't hide this forever, and I honestly don't want to." Jay smiled. Before Jay could say anything else, a force like a wrecking ball plowed into his chest with such vigor it knocked the wind from his chest and sent him reeling to the floor.

"Do you even have to ask me?" Echo giggled as he hugged him so tightly, Jay swore he felt one of his ribs crack, but the younger boy didn't notice it in his enthusiasm. Tears of bliss welled in Echo's eyes. "Of course I will Jay!" He exclaimed as he jumped off Jay and grabbed his hand. Jay stumbled forward as his little lover now dragged him back through the castle, impossibly fast for the boy's short stature.

"Now I have to make sure the ballroom is spectacular! I'm going to make this a night no one forgets!" Echo sang the entire trip back to the ballroom, Jay stumbling and laughing behind him...

#The Flame and the Dragon #beauty and the beast #ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago echo #ninjago nelson #ninjago ronin #ninjago neuro #ninjago harumi #ninjago ultra violet #ninjago pixal #ninjago cole #ninjago kai #lavashipping #steampunkshipping

[writeyouin]

It says asks are closed, but your recent post said they're open? If they are closed, that's fine, sorry to bother. Love your stuff btw! What if LL crew were temporarily turned human. The human liason helps them adjust (even if this is just for a while-they hope) and since it's Christmas, they decide to make everyone a traditional Christmas dinner (or as close to it as they can...) Who actually helps in the kitchen, who's more of a hindrance, and who sneaks food when they think no one's looking?

Transformers MTMTE/LL Reader Insert – For Just One Day

A/N – This one was tricky, trying to fit everyone in.

Warnings – Very Mild NSFW

Rating – T

It started with a stupid bet that the crew wouldn’t last a day as humans. To be honest, you forgot even making the bet with Brainstorm, but apparently those were your exact words, and now he hadn’t just turned himself human, but the entirety of the Lost Light. Fortunately, the effects of Brainstorm’s device were only going to last a day. Unfortunately, the day it took place was Christmas. Now, you not only had a million questions to answer about being human, but you also had to cook a Christmas dinner for everyone because Swerve had given the idea to Rodimus and it had spread like wildfire.

“Okay,” You said, tying back your hair and putting on an apron, mildly anxious now that everyone was looking to you for a Christmas feast. “I’m going to need help in the kitchen, if anyone will volunteer.”

Ultra Magnus nodded. He had just finished making a pamphlet for the bots who were struggling with their humanity. “I shall organise a cooking party,” he said, and with that, he was organising groups of bots who had volunteered into those willing to cook meat and those who weren’t.

Soon, you were left with a group of around thirty volunteers, looking to you for instructions. Among them were Rung, Ten, Swerve, Nautica and Cyclonus. You started by showing the group how to prepare the vegetables, setting off a production line. Rung was very attentive to his carrots, though having more experience on model ships, he was paying far too much attention to detail and was very slow with his work. Upon watching Ten, who was much faster, you decided to partner the two up to make up for Rung’s lack of speed.

Whilst trying to give instructions to some other bots, you found Swerve watching you dreamily, rather than preparing his items. When you went over to him, he blushed and started talking a million miles an hour, soon becoming more of a hindrance than a help, though you humoured him, since it came from a good place.

“You can keep yapping, as long as you get back to work, instead of staring at me,” You winked.

Swerve, feeling suddenly very nervous looked around for something to distract you, although it was too late for you not to have noticed his blatant ogling. “Ugh, I- I- I- FLOUR FIGHT!”

He threw a fistful of flour at your face. You coughed and spluttered, raising a bemused eyebrow once you were okay.

“I-Uh-I-” Swerve babbled, wondering why he hadn’t just got back to work when you had called him out.

“I’ll let that one go, but I’m gonna get you back later,” You deadpanned, smiling only when your back was turned and he couldn’t see you; it would be fun to watch him panic for a while.

You walked on, stopping when you found Nautica stirring an empty pot, whilst watching Brainstorm and Perceptor dreamily. You had a feeling that she had volunteered for the cooking before she realised that they were going to be running various experiments on the now-human crew. You stopped to look at the pair of arguing scientists.

“It is not a contest,” Perceptor sniffed drily.

Brainstorm wrapped an arm around him, “Everything is a contest, Percy. If it wasn’t, existence would be futile. So, you in or not?”

“Most definitely not. I am here to research the human mechanics that you have so hastily created, not compete over who can do the most experiments before the day is up.”

“Ah, classic Percy, that’s the fighting talk I love. We’ll tally the scores at sundown.”

Turning your attention back to Nautica, you knew she wouldn’t abandon the work she had promised to do, even if she didn’t realise that she wasn’t actually doing it.

“You should go with them,” You told her.

“Hm? Me? Oh, no, I couldn’t. I’m supposed to be here,” Nautica smiled bashfully when she realised that she had been stirring the wrong pot and the cocktail sauce was still just a batch of raw ingredients.

“Nautica, you’re supposed to be having a good time. Go nuts, run some experiments. Christmas is all about having fun, after all.”

Nautica chewed her lip, considering it.

You pushed her towards the exit, “Go!”

With that, Nautica gave you a quick hug and ran excitedly out, leaving you to get back to checking on everybody else. On her way out, you saw Megatron standing awkwardly in the doorway. From the disturbed look on his face, it occurred to you that nobody had told him what was going on and he had only just figured it out upon seeing everyone else.

You approached him, “Hey Megatron… It was Brainstorm-”

“So I gathered,” He replied gruffly. “Please can you inform me how long this is to last.”

“Around twenty-four hours.”

“I see. Then I shall remain in my hab-suite until it is over.”

“Wait,” You grabbed his arm. “We’re um, celebrating a human holiday, if you want to join us.”

“Please (Y/N), do not pity me. You know I have no place among my peers during celebrations.”

“Megatron, I will only pity you if you leave. Come on, you should be among your friends, and don’t say you don’t have any ‘cos that is utter rubbish. So, as your friend, I am ordering you to get over to your other friend, Rung and help him with those potatoes.”

Megatron stared at you, dumbfounded. If he didn’t have so much respect for you, he would have left to hide away until this was all over. As it was, he simply nodded and joined Rung, who immediately struck up a friendly conversation.

‘Right,’ You thought to yourself, ready to get back to work until you saw Tailgate hanging out near Cyclonus, about to pop some raw bacon in his mouth.

“NO,” You ran over picking him up. “PUT THE BACON DOWN.”

“WHAT? WHY?” Tailgate whined. “You didn’t yell at Ravage when he stole the eggnog.”

“He did what?” Sure enough, when you looked around, the eggnog was gone without a trace; how Tailgate had seen him take it was beyond you.

“(Y/N), I just wanna taste Cyclonus’ cooking. Pleeeeeease.”

“Tailgate, I get that you’re excited, but Cyclonus is on meat duty, ‘kay. Meat can make humans really, really sick if we eat it raw. I’m just doing this so you don’t get ill. So, I’ll say it again. Put the bacon down.”

“Do as (s)he says,” Cyclonus added, without even looking up from his cooking station.

Huffily, Tailgate put the bacon back onto the counter and you let him go. “If you want everything so perfect, you better check the dessert station,” he huffed.

You were puzzled for a moment, but you decided to do what he said, heading over to the dessert section.

“Oh, come on,” You groaned, upon seeing Rodimus remoulding all the gingerbread men into gingerbread Rodimus stars.

“Hey (Y/N)!” Rodimus grinned, trying to hide his artwork behind his back. You had been far too occupied to notice, but Rodimus had already been kicked out of the kitchen by various other members of the crew no less than seven times for causing havoc wherever he went. Quite frankly, he didn’t want to be kicked out again; it was getting harder and harder to sneak back in.

“Really? You couldn’t leave the gingerbread men alone?”

“(Y/N),” Rodimus put a hand over his heart. “I, for one, am disgusted that you would allow us to take part in an act that encourages cannibalism. I mean, eating fake humans is the first step towards eating real humans, and I will not stand for it.”

“Ugh, where the hell is the dessert team?” You asked frustratedly, looking around for any sane bot.

“Oh, them? Well, they chased after Riptide who stole all those little pastry things to eat. Then when they came back, Rewind and Chromedome had stolen all the chocolate.”

“Why would they do that?”

“They heard something about chocolate being an aphrodisiac, so they took it and went away to canoodle.”

“Then what happened?”

“Then Drift came to try some stuff.”

“Drift, really?” You said, surprise colouring your tone.

“Yeah, don’t tell him I told you, but he has kind of a thing about watching organics eat, so he stole some food to get into his kink state. Anyway, that was when the dessert team abandoned base and went to play twister. By the way, super-fun game. Anyway, that brings us to this point, when I’m your only hope for saving dessert, thus saving Christmas.”

You rubbed the back of your neck tiredly, “Fine… Do whatever the hell you want to the gingerbread. Just make sure to cook it afterwards. I left the instructions on the datapad there.”

“You got it,” Rodimus winked. “This is gonna be the best dessert ever.”

Finally, you were free to get back to work, and with only a few more problems, dinner was served. You and a few others volunteered to take food to those who had decided to quarantine themselves. Your first stop was Whirl’s hab-suite. Quite frankly, you were surprised that Whirl hadn’t come out to make mischief when everything started.

You knocked on his door, “Whirl, sweetie, you in there?”

“GO AWAY, MEATBAG!” He roared from inside.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I SAID GET LOST. I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE WHILE I’M LIKE THIS.”

You didn’t really understand what Whirl’s problem was, so you just left the food outside his door, telling him what you had done before leaving. Whirl didn’t go to collect the food. How could he, when he had a problem of this nature? As it turned out, something had gone wrong with Whirl’s transformation, so instead of his usual holoform, he looked entirely different. He was a grown man in a leather jacket, with fairly good looks. The problem was that without his interface panel or his usual feminine form, he couldn’t hide his arousal for you. As such, he had vowed not to come out until everything was back to normal.

Where others were saying Merry Christmas, all Whirl could think was ‘Bah, humbug.’

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#christmas #transformers #transformers idw #mtmte #more than meets the eye #ll #the lost light #maccadam #idw #reader #reader insert #rodimus #hot rod #swerve #nautica #ten #rung #megatron #ultra magnus #perceptor #brainstorm #chromedome #rewind #cyclonus #tailgate #riptide #drift #ravage #whirl #fanfic

[not-close-to-straight]

Sugar, Sugar (Two)

Read more about literally hopeless Stucky and Sweet as Sugar Tony here on the MASTERLIST

************

To say the very first official Sweet Peach Happy Hour was a hit would be an understatement. 

The event wasn’t a “hit”. 

Sweet Peach Happy Hour was a screaming success, complete with a line out the door, taxi’s backed up alongside the road full of people trying to get in, and even a local news van that had seen the commotion and decided to film an on the spot interview. 

Or rather, they tried to film an on the spot interview. That sort of thing was difficult when the owner of the bakery couldn’t manage to stand still long enough to answer any questions. 

“Seriously, I don’t have time for this!” Tony insisted as he pushed the microphone out of his face, ducked beneath the camera and went running towards the back kitchen to get another couple dozen cupcakes. “If you’re going to interview me, you’ll have to keep up!” 

“We just want to know how you feel about the sudden success of your bakery!” the reporter shouted, and Tony shouted back, “When I run out of cupcakes, I’ll let you know!” 

“Tony Tony Tony!” Pepper had been wrangled into ringing up customers with box after box of sweet treats, and she waved her hand frantically at the busy brunette. “Tony! I don’t have any more change!” 

“Start taking tips?” Tony laughed, dropped a free sample of S’mores cupcakes down at a table full of teenagers, then bustled off to do help someone else, tying his apron tighter around his waist as he went. “Start only accepting cards? I dunno, Pep! I’ve never had this exact problem before!” 

“Easy does it, son.” Colonel Rhodes was acting as impromptu security, and clapped his hand down on the shoulder of someone who’d had every intention of ditching the long line at the register and running out with their cookies. “Back in line with everyone else, or you and I are going to have a problem.”

“I love you.” Tony stood on his toes to smeck a kiss to Rhodey’s cheek. “Thank you, you’re the best.” 

“I’m getting paid for this, right?” Rhodey called over the noise of happy customers. “Tony? I gave up date night and sex with my fiancee for this nonsense, am I getting paid?” 

“You’re getting paid in my ever lasting devotion!” Tony called back, and he was still laughing at Rhodey’s entirely disgruntled expression when he whirled around to get back to the kitchen--

--and ran smack into a rock wall.

“Ooph.” Tony just about splatted on the bakery floor, but the rock wall was connected to a set of strong arms and big hands that snatched him right back up, and all those muscles were topped off by bright blue eyes and a hell of a smile and--

“Oh!” Tony’s dark eyes lit in excitement. “Oh hey! You guys made it!” 

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Steve set Tony back on his feet and stepped back to give the busy baker room to breathe. “Almost couldn’t get in the door though. It’s packed in here.” 

“For good reason, too.” Bucky shouldered his way in between Steve and Tony and grinned around a mouthful of cupcake. “This is amazing, Tony. Somehow, even better than the apple cake.” 

“Just wait until you taste the cream filled ones.” Tony cheesed, and immediately, predictably, Bucky about choked to death on his current snack. “Steve, have you had anything yet?” 

“Can’t get to the counter.” Steve motioned behind them to the packed display. “Not real sure where Bucky got his from.” 

“I pushed through th’fuckin’ crowd till I got one.” Bucky said blandly. “Stop being such a wimp and use that size for something other than keeping that big head upright. Push people, it’s fine.” 

“Its absolutely not fine.” Tony laughed out loud at Bucky’s faux innocent expression. “But I’ll let it slide cos I’m having a good night and cos you’re both so damn good looking. Stay right here, I’ll grab you something from the back.” 

Tony was gone in a whirl of floral apron and the scent of sugary frosting, and Steve elbowed Bucky with a grin, “You hear that? I’m damn good looking.” 

“He said we’re damn good looking.” Bucky corrected. “And he’s probably a little dazed, seeing’s how he bounced off your tits and went flying like that. Probably gave the guy a concussion.” 

“Please don’t call them tits in public, Buck.” 

“It’s better than tiddy-knockers, right?” 

“Everything is better than tiddy knockers.” 

“Then stop complaining.” 

Tony was back in a split second with a fresh cupcake for Bucky and one for Steve as well, and the ‘tits vs tiddy knockers’ conversation was forgotten in favor of huge mouthfuls of frosting and all the appropriate moans and groans that amazing desserts deserved. 

“I do love when pretty boys make those sort of noises.” Tony clapped his hands in delight over Bucky and Steve’s obvious approval. “But I’ve got another ten dozen cupcakes to get boxed and out the door. You guys have a good time, alright?” 

“We uh--” Bucky licked a glob of frosting off his thumb. “We’re not leaving, right?” 

“Are you kidding me?” Steve tore the wrapper off his cupcake and tossed it into a nearby bin. “Tony’s apron has flowers on it today. He’s got a little flour in his curls and he smells like a candy store. Where the hell are we gonna go?” 

“That’s why I love you.” Bucky leaned in and kissed his boyfriend for a long minute. “We’re really gonna do this, huh? Spend more time with Tony?” 

“It was your idea, Buck.” Steve pointed out. “Your emergency.” 

“Yeah, but you know damn well you get to make the call on this sorta thing.” Bucky was rarely serious, but he was certainly serious now, pale eyes searching Steve’s darker blue for any sign of insecurity. “Cos we could eat these sorta ridiculously good cupcakes, buy a dozen and just go home and forget it.” 

“Yeah we could.” Steve caught Tony’s eyes from across the room and smiled when the smaller brunette bit his lip and then looked away. “But I say we get a table and wait until it dies down a little so we can talk to Tony some more. What about you?” 

“What about me?” Bucky finished his cupcake and yoinked the rest of Steve’s right out of his hand. “I think I’ve changed my mind and we’re gonna need two dozen of these, cos I’m gonna eat at least ten by myself and since Clint is coming over tomorrow and he can smell cake from three city blocks away--” 

“Yep. Two dozen it is.” 

*************

*************

“I love you.” Tony yanked Pepper down and kissed her square on the lips as the last of the customers wandered out of Sweet Peach nearly three hours later. “I dunno why I thought I could handle this all by myself.” 

“You do love me.” Pepper wiped a smudge of chocolate from Tony’s cheek and smiled fondly down at him. “I’m glad I told the girls at work about this, hm? Sure got busy quick.” 

“Yeah, I’ll barely have enough supplies for tomorrow’s baking.” Tony smoothed down his wrinkled apron and blew out a deep breath. “I might have to close on Saturday so I can get over to the big warehouses for ingredients for next week, the truck won’t come through until Tuesday.” 

“Seems like it’s a good problem to have.” James came back from turning off the Open sign, and pried his fiancee out of Tony’s arms, tapping his own cheek and grinning when Tony kissed him too. “Now then, should we talk about Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb ass over there? Any reason they’re still hanging out, and do I need to say anything about it?” 

“Oh stop, Bucky and Steve are practically harmless.” Tony waved over at the boys, who promptly waved back. “I’m glad they stayed, I didn’t have two seconds to talk to them earlier.” 

“They’re certainly hot.” Pepper remarked. “Not my type, but I could see why they are yours.” 

“Not your type.” Tony repeated. “Pepper. Steve is like six and a half feet of homegrown American goodness and Bucky looks like something out of a vampire porno. Look at them. It’s like Superman and Ultra Hunky Batman. Not your type? They are everyone’s type. Rhodey’s straight as fuck, and they are Rhodey’s type. I wanna climb them like a tree and fondle their fruit.”

“I hated everything you just said.” James groaned and Pepper covered her mouth so her fiancee wouldn't see her laughing. “Don’t ever say any of those words again. Not the tree thing, not about them being my type. None of it.” 

“Aw leave him be.” Pepper gathered up her purse, then handed over the key to the cash register. “You know baking and making money gets Tony all hot and bothered, let him climb trees all he wants.” 

“You’re a true friend, Pepper.” Tony said solemnly, and Rhodey snorted, “I think you mean an enabler.” 

“If you end up closing Saturday, let me know so we can get brunch.” Pepper buttoned into her coat and kissed Tony one more time. “Love you, Tony.” 

“Love you.” Tony blew kisses at both his friends and walked them to the door. “Love you love you, thanks for your help tonight!” 

The door closed with one last jangle and Tony locked it securely before taking a deep breath-- here we go-- and spinning around to send Bucky and Steve big smiles. 

“Well boys. How was your first Sweet Peach Happy Hour?” 

“Shit, Tony.” Steve really was just a whole lot of American goodness, and Tony’s fingers flexed idly remembering just how solid a rock wall chest he’d ran into earlier. “This was amazing. You did a really good job tonight.” 

“Hell yeah you did, sugar.” Bucky propped his chin up in his hands and winked, and Tony-- damn Tony really did want to climb that guy like a tree. Pepper was right, baking and making money did get him all hot and bothered. “So. First of many happy hours?” 

“Um, I don’t actually know.” Tony dragged the tip jar across the counter and dumped it out. “I mean, I don’t know if I can afford to go through so much product and prep every week. I’ve spent the last three days making frosting and freezing cupcakes just so I had enough and I still ran out.” 

“Money was good, though?” Steve raised his eyebrows as Tony lay out stacks of dollar bills. “Or not worth it since everything was half off?”

“What if you do it on Fridays?” Bucky suggested. “That way you’re gettin’ rid of left overs from earlier in the week?” 

“That’s not a bad idea.” Tony unlocked the cash register and stuffed the tips in. “You guys gonna hang out? I’ve got to do a little clean up and a little prep for tomorrow morning, but you’re welcome to stay?” 

Then he paused-- “Even though, I should warn you. Try any funny business and I’ve got a gun so...” 

“Jesus Christ.” Steve blurted, while Bucky cackled, “Fuck me, the little baker’s got a gun?” 

“I just realized it was probably stupid of me to let two guys I barely know hang out after closing.” Tony admitted, feeling more than a little foolish at being so horny distracted that he’d potentially compromised his safety. “You gonna be cool?” 

“Tony.” Bucky was still laughing too hard to answer, so it was up to Steve to assure him, “Tony honey, we’ve got nothing but good intentions. But if you want us to leave--” 

“I don’t want you to leave.” Tony interrupted. “Its ah-- probably dumb? But I feel good about you two, so stick around.” 

“Well now I dunno.” Bucky pushed his hair back from his eyes and waggled his eyebrows. “Now that I know you’ve got a gun, maybe I’m too scared to stay. You should probably convince me you’re safe.” 

“Don’t be such a goddamn creep!” Steve hissed and Bucky hissed back, “I was just teasin’, Tony knows I’m not a creep!” 

“I’m feeling pretty good about you not being a creep.” Tony agreed over a laugh of his own. “Steve, you want a drink? Bucky? Wine?” 

“You grab some wine and I’ll take this.” Steve offered, coming around the table to take a stack of trays from Tony’s hands. “Bucky, get the rest of those trays. Tony, you got an industrial washer, or just a sink?” 

“Industrial.” Tony relinquished the trays with a grateful sigh, and pulled a half drank bottle of wine from the cooler. “Thank you. You guys don’t have to help, but I’m definitely not going to say no.”

“We don’t mind.” Steve reached up and got Tony a wine glass from the rack, then set two more down alongside it. “Do we, Buck?” 

“Oh it ain’t no thing, sweet thing.” Bucky sent him another wink. “But we should make Steve wash the trays while you and I drink. His tits look great beneath a wet shirt.” 

Steve made a horrified squawking noise and Tony coughed wine all over the counter, all over his apron and right out his nose when he screeched in laughter. “His tits?!” 

“Oooh yeah, I forgot he doesn’t like to call them that in public.” Bucky was no where near repentant. “Sorry babe.” 

“I hate you.” Steve shoved the rest of the trays at his boyfriend, who staggered theatrically under the weight. “Tony, what else can I do to help you?” 

“Ummm....” Tony gestured towards the mop in the corner. “Maybe clean the front room so I can get started on tomorrow’s prep.” 

“No problem.” 

Steve went to work mopping, Bucky went to work washing, and Tony started in on icing for the next days orders, sipping at his wine and glancing up at the two strangers in his bakery. 

It probably was very stupid for him to let people he didn’t know at all stay behind in his place of business, but every instinct in Tony’s body told him he was safe with Steve and Bucky. Safe and probably in for a hell of a good time if their easy laughter and seriously ridiculous bodies were anything to go by. 

Then again, the last time Tony had trusted his instinct and felt safe and like he was having the time of his life, everything had crashed and burned in a public, paparazzi style way. Some days he still felt like a fucking idiot for it all so maybe his instincts weren’t exactly trust worthy. 

“Tony.” Bucky held up his phone and whistled sharply. “Can I play my music through your system, do you mind?” 

“No.” Tony shook his head and cleared his thoughts. “No, music is fine. Go right ahead.” 

“Thanks, doll.” Bucky tapped at his phone a few times and a minute later the first lines of The Joker by the Steve Miller Band warbled over the speakers. 

“Some people call me the space cowboy!” Bucky sang at the top of his lungs, and out in the front Tony heard Steve shout, “Goddammit Bucky! Not this stupid song again!” 

“SOME CALL ME THE GANGSTER OF LOVE!” Bucky belted and Tony grinned when Steve only groaned louder. “SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE!” 

“I am so sorry about him, Tony.” Steve poked his head over the counter and sighed in Tony’s direction. “I’d blame it on him being drunk, but honestly Bucky is like this all the time.” 

“I love it.” Tony poured Steve a glass and handed it over. “He’s a lot of fun. Lot more fun than my usual crowd anyway.” 

“Cos I speak! Of the pompitous! Of lo-o-ve!” 

“The Colonel seems nice.” Steve smacked his lips over the red wine and took another sip. “And the redhead, his fiancee? What’s her name?” 

“The redhead is Pepper and she is a literal perfect angel.” Tony eyed the amount of powdered sugar in his mixing bowl, then threw in another cup for good measure. “The sour patch is James Rhodes. He’s my oldest friend, and they spent at least five years eye humping each other before I told them to either get naked or get the hell out because I couldn’t take the tension anymore.” 

“They got naked?” Steve guessed, and Tony confirmed, “Just to be clear, I hadn’t meant ‘get naked’ right there in my living room but that’s exactly how they took it.” 

“People talk about me, baby!” 

“They’re getting married in a couple months and I could’t be happier for them.” Tony dunked in some vanilla extract and turned the mixer on. “But now they’re boring married people, so I guess it’s time for me to make new friends.” 

He finger gunned at Steve and the blond chuckled at him. “Which is where you and Bucky come in, right?” 

“I thought you said you didn’t want to do anything with a couple.” Steve pointed out, as Bucky caterwauled in the background. “Or has that changed since yesterday?” 

“What, we can’t be friends?” Tony challenged, but there was a spark of hurt beneath the words he didn’t quite manage to cover, and he knew Steve caught it when the blue eyes shaded darker in curiosity. “I mean, I don’t want you guys taking me out on a date, but just hanging out it is fine.” 

“Hanging out.” Steve repeated. “Yeah that’s-- that’s fine.” 

“What’s fine?” Bucky came sauntering over his wine, tried to stick his finger in the mixing bowl and got his hand slapped with a spatula for the effort. “Ouch! Damn it! Tony, I washed pans for you! Don’t you think that deserves a taste of frosting?” 

“Maybe when it’s done.” Tony laughed at him. “And I was just telling your hunky boyfriend that I don’t have a problem hanging out, so long as you guys are okay with it.” 

“So what.” Bucky drained most of his glass in one go. “So we can’t take you out for drinks or try to ask you on a date, but we can hang out after closing and drink your wine?” 

“That alright with you?” Tony waited with an uncomfortable knot of anxiety in his throat as the couple exchanged glances and seemed to have an entire non verbal conversation right there in front of him. 

“On one condition.” Steve finally said, and Tony worked hard to keep his heart from plummeting. “We’re fine hanging out after closing and doing this sorta thing so long as you turn around and show us that sweet peach real quick.” 

“Mr. Rogers.” Tony faux gasped to hide the sheer relief in his eyes. “What kind of baker do you take me for?” 

“Show us the peach, damn it!” Bucky hollered, and Tony burst out laughing, whirling around and undoing the bow of his apron with a little sashay of his hips. Bucky banged on the counter and howled while Steve whistled in appreciation and Tony only rolled his eyes at them, redoing his apron and going back to work like he wasn’t blushing halfway to death. 

Just that fast the mood was lightened again, one hour and then two passing before anyone noticed. The wine bottle emptied as they finished cleaning up, the music cranking while Bucky sang along to “really love your peaches, wanna shake you-or tree-ee-ee!” and when only frosting was left to do, Bucky and Steve sat down at the closest table and traded teasing and light hearted jokes over the noise of the mixer as Tony finished up. 

“I think I love him.” Bucky muttered once when Tony ran back to the fridge for some more cream. “I mean seriously, Steve. How is he so cute? I wanna put him in my pocket and carry him around all day.” 

“Tell me about it.” Steve finished putting Tony’s number in his phone and put it aside. “You catch that, though? How he’s all weird about dating?” 

“Only one reason for that.” Bucky agreed immediately. “Just wouldn’t expect him to be all comfortable flirting with us if he’d had his heart broken, you know? He sure doesn’t seem to mind us looking.”  

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Steve rolled his now empty wine glass between his hands. “And I know I’m gonna sound like a damn creeper when I say this, but holy shit Buck. I plan on doing a lot of looking.” 

“I’m thinking of investing in binoculars just to make sure I stay up close and personal.” Bucky informed him and Steve shoved at his boyfriend. “What? I’m just saying it’d be easier to creep from a distance if I had--” 

“Oh oh holy shit.” Steve’s hand clamped down on Bucky’s thigh hard enough to make the big brunette yelp in shock, and Steve only squeezed harder and hissed, “Shut the hell up and look at Tony right now.”

“Whad’ya mean look at Tony?” Bucky scowled and tried to pry Steve’s fingers off. “I’ve been lookin’ at him all night! We were just talking about this, Stevie! Remember? Binoculars? Long distance creeping?”

“Stop talking and look right now.” Steve insisted. “Buck, it’s an emergency.”

“No.” Bucky shook his head. “No no no no, you don’t get to make fun of me for calling Tony’s butt an emergency and then use the same word for something—“

“Bucky!” 

Bucky’s mouth fell open when he finally rotated to get a better look at Tony and was treated to the sight of the adorable baker standing up on tiptoes straining to reach a bowl on a high shelf. Tony’s shirt had rucked up around his ribs, his leggings dragged down a little by his apron and—

“Holy shit. That is a fucking emergency.” Bucky wheezed and Steve nodded frantically. “Look at his tummy. Look at his— oh fuck me runnin’ is that a belly button ring?”

“He’s so soft I’m gonna die.” Steve whispered mournfully. “He’s so soft Buck, it ain’t fair.” 

“It ain’t fair.” Bucky echoed in the same wheezy tone. “How’m I sposed to sleep tonight knowing Tony’s got a belly button ring?” 

“See something you like, boys?” Tony cocked an eyebrow at his future hook up new friends. “What’s with all the whispering?” 

“Just havin’ a perfectly casual conversation about your belly button ring.” Bucky squeaked, and normally Steve would have stepped in with something less stupid to say, but he was too busy still staring.

“Oh yeah?” Tony set the bowl down and came around the corner, lifting up his his shirt a little and inwardly preening over the half strangled noise Steve made. Oh yeah, these two were gonna do wonders for his rather trashed self esteem. “This old thing? I’ve been meaning to get the charm changed to a cupcake, but I guess the blue gem does the trick for right now.” 

“Uhhhh yep.” Both Steve and Bucky’s eyes were zeroed in on Tony’s navel, and for the first time in a very long time, Tony didn’t feel self conscious about his less than six pack tummy. Nope, basically impossible to feel anything but sexy when these two were all but drooling over him. 

“I’d say it does the trick.” Steve breathed , clenching his fists like it was taking all his self control not to reach out and touch. “How-- who-- I mean what um-- how long have you-- is it uh--Bucky? Help.” 

“Nope. M’just as stupid as you are right now.” Bucky was no help at all, staring just as hungrily at Tony’s stomach. “Shit, sweet thing. You’re gonna kill me.” 

“Well I hope you don’t perish before we get to the good part.” Tony said dryly, and two sets of heart stoppingly vivid blue eyes shot up to meet his gaze. “Which is of course, tasting the frosting I’ve been making for the last hour.” 

“Yep.” Bucky nodded. “Frosting.” 

“So much...” Steve gulped. “Frosting.” 

Tony left them there slack jawed and hilariously dumb, but he was whistling as he went to get them each a spoonful of icing to try. 

It’d been a year, but apparently he still had it. 

Good to know, since there’d been a time he didn’t think he was worth looking at in any capacity at all. 

“Aw honey.” Tony sang quietly, a satisfied smirk on his face. “Oh sugar sugar. You are my candy boy...” 

*******************

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE CHAPTER!

*******************

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#ncts fics #stuckony #stucky #winteriron #stony #tony stark #steve rogers #bucky barnes #bakery au

[upinapinetree]

cooking up a storm

Part of "a patient and plodding green skin", which will be envisioned as a series of one-shots on James and Lily's relationship.

Also at AO3

James Potter thinks there must be a certain magic in celebrating Christmas at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is over-indulgent with the holiday decorations in a way that not even his mother could compete (although she does come close), the floating torches throughout the castle seem to glow a bit more orange that makes one feel warm and fuzzy inside, the snow does come down in the prettiest and most touching way in their part of Scotland - but let Sirius never know that James has thought this. James never manages to snap out of his reverie that he is lucky enough to count himself an inhabitant of this dark, Gothic, magical castle, where in spite of the eerieness at times, the grand, looming nature of it matches perfectly with the rich feeling of Christmas. The Potter Manor is no Hogwarts, but his Mum and their team of house elves do a spectacular enough job as it is. Plus it’s home, and nothing beats home. (He really hopes his parents have gotten him the latest Nimbus Ultra, because there is Slytherin butt to kick in their next match in March.)

It has been a week since James has been home for the holidays, and one morning he traipses down in his white shirt and snitch pyjama pants blearily towards the kitchen, when he spots Professor McGonagall in his sitting room, sipping tea with his parents.

He yelps and jumps a mile high. Clearly awake now. “Min - Professor! Morning but - what are you doing here?”

Professor McGonagall gave him a look that he was all too familiar with, and was about to reply him in her trademark irritable way, when Euphemia Potter, who was sitting next to her, cut in. “James, dear, Minnie missed our monthly tea last month - she had so much on her plate, what with that slew of attacks on a number of families of the Muggle-born students, you remember, I’m sure - but she’s making up for it now.” she beams and faces McGonagall. “I wish you did join us for Christmas dinner though, we would have made space for you!”

McGonagall quipped, “I see enough of Potter enough at school, holidays are for ah - recovering and recalibrating.” to which his mum and dad give some mixture of exasperated sigh and awkward laughter.

Fleamont Potter, who had been sitting in his chair by the fireplace (a large, tufted navy armchair that has been around as far back as James can remember, and he swears retains some imprint of his dad’s arse. Fleamont is protective to death of it, and reiterates its continued utility to no end, particularly when Euphemia is adamant on tossing that thing out), lowered the copy of the Daily Prophet he was reading and says, “Say - Minnie, speaking of Hogwarts - how is dear James here doing with his classes? He never mentions much in his letters, you know, it’s all Quidditch, and pranks with the boys, and -”

James sighs and flops himself down to the ottoman opposite his mum and McGonagall.  He hasn’t even had his coffee or any breakfast yet. School! It was holidays, wasn’t it?

McGonagall set down her teacup and saucer down on the table daintily and started, “Well, Potters, I must say, while my hopes that your son would focus less on the pranks and daydreaming, he has nevertheless shown himself to be an innately bright and talented wizard with a great intuition and flexibility with magic.” Euphemia and Fleamont beamed at each other. “But -”

James groaned inwardly. Euphemia and Fleamont whipped their heads back in shock. “But…?” they say slowly together.

McGonagall fixes her piercing stare at James across the table. “It seems that this term, his Potions grade seems to ah - have slipped a few notches.”

Fleamont sputtered, “Potions? A few notches?”

“Now, I don’t ordinarily reveal this to the student’s parents so early in the term. At Hogwarts, we understand that Fifth Year has usually proven a steep bell curve for students to adjust to, and from our experience, students do seem to have a better grasp for the topics by the month leading up to O.W.Ls… but Potter, I too struggle to understand - you had been consistently adept at Potions since First Year, and you come from a particular Potioneering pedigree! You were doing well at the start of Term too, so Professor Slughorn was as aghast as I that he had to mark you a “T” for your last essay -”

Euphemia and Fleamont were clutching at each others hands now, from their respective sofas. “A - a “T”? Surely Minnie, you must be mistaken…”

“No, not mistaken, unfortunately. The strange thing, Potter, is that Professor Slughorn mentions that your essay was entirely fine and sound until your concluding thesis that ran entirely counter to everything you had been arguing before! And the same for your last practical on the Confusing Concoction - you were doing fine up until the last step, when you had sprinkled some chopped Rotsworth Root that nullified all your efforts before!”

James would have to vet his parents’ guest lists in the future.

--

James had managed to extricate himself from the party to grab a plate of whatever his house elf Cubbi had cooked up for him and ran upstairs to the safety of his room. He could still hear his parents and McGonagall downstairs. He whipped out a handheld mirror from his bedside table and started, “Pads - hey Pads, you the -” when he heard his parents knocking on his door. He sighed and stashed the mirror under his pillow.

(Ordinarily, parents would feel entitled to barge in to their child’s room, and James’s parents had been those parents up till the last summer, when they very unceremoniously walked in to James wanking off. Which is why they now waited for James’ green light as so -)

“Come in.”

Euphemia and Fleamont stepped in gingerly (the events of last summer still burned bright in their minds) and sat down at the foot of James’s bed. “James - well we’re just going to cut to the chase here - hm, ah…” they shot each other looks as if not knowing how to start.

“James, as your parents, we care most of all about your happiness and well-being -”

“ - and we love you very much, and know that O.W.Ls must be a very stressful topic for you, and we would never want to cause you undue stress -”

“ - and O.W.Ls don’t determine your worth, and we count ourselves so lucky to have such an obedient, filial, bright, and thoughtful child -”

“ - we don’t want you to think that one bad grade puts you on a certain path -”

“ - but if you feel you need support, as your parents, we are only too willing to provide you with all the resources you need -”

Fleamont couldn’t help himself with the pleasantries any longer, and let out a pained cry. “ - but of all things, Potions? James, it already doesn’t lend Sleekeazy’s credibility that you have… the hair that you do… but if people found out my son couldn’t brew even a Pepper-Up potion…”

James interjected, “I know how to brew a Pepper-Up just fine, thanks,” but was ignored.

Fleamont grabbed at James’s hands. “I thought I gave you enough guidance at home! Your entire childhood, all those summers you’ve spent in my Chambers, brewing potions even your classmates wouldn’t have heard of…! You’ve seen the finest and rarest potions ingredients that people would kill to experiment with…!”

“What are my options for tutoring then? Did Min - Professor McGonagall say anything?” James raised hopefully.

Euphemia is standing now, arms crossed, and shot a look at Fleamont before she answered James. “Well, she was as puzzled as us on why you suddenly are turning these grades for Potions - Professor Slughorn normally would give it some time and see if the student improves, but we all felt that with O.W.Ls looming quick…”

Fleamont looked closely at James as he said, “Well Minnie suggested a tutor. One of the other Fifth Years, who is doing well with Potions at present and on whom the extra responsibility of tutoring you might not be so onerous…”

James inched closer to his parents. And…?

“You’d think you’d be turning the same grade as Sirius, since you two practically copy off the other anyway, and you’re like two pumpkin pasties in a packet - really, I don’t understand how you managed a “T” - anyway, we were of the view that if Sirius’ potions knowledge hasn’t rubbed off you the last Term it wouldn’t matter if he tutored you, not that you two would get anything done -”

“Dad!”

Fleamont set his hands on his knees and stared at the ceiling. “She did say ah - Euphemia, what were those names? - Robert Turnpike [here, James made a rude sound], I think, some odd name, S… Severed… Severus, was it? Severus Snape [James turned pale], and … ah, yes, Lily Evans.”

“Lily.” James jumped off his bed. “It should be Lily Evans. Should I write McGonagall now? Is it too soon? It shouldn’t be, since I should ideally start tutoring sessions once Term begins next week. Lily Evans should have some advance notice too. Mum, Dad - didn’t you say you were going to pop by Hogsmeade to pick up some treats from Honeydukes?” James was practically pushing them out of his room. “I have something to do now. Bye.”

#jily #jily fanfic #jily fic #jily fanfiction #jilytober #james potter #lily evans #lily potter

[maaaaaatryoshka0325]

Broken Promises - Seo Changbin

Warnings: Violence, angst

For @backhugsforhyunjin 😘 I hope you feel better ❤️

“I’ll always protect you, my love.”

Is a line Changbin has always said to you, always whispered in your ear. He said it on your worst nights and your good days. When he was holding you, or when you were simply making coffee. When you feared he wouldn’t come home, and the moment he walked in the door. He always, always, let you know he’d protect you, not matter the cost.

You always trusted him, always knew he’d protect you. Always knew he’d be there for you, right when you needed him to be. Being in love with a Mafia boss was hard however, since you didn’t see him as much. Many days it was just a peck on the lips before he left, if that.

It became harder now that you were carrying his child on top of it. You had to confessed to him that you were pregnant about two months ago, and he was home with you for only two days before he started back up again. You looked down at your swollen belly with a loving look, softly rubbing it.

“I hope you don’t take over your daddy’s business.” You whispered, rubbing your tummy. “I wouldn’t be able to stand wondering if both of you would make it home.”

You walked into your shared bedroom, which had a nursery attached to it. You walked into the nursery and smiled as you looked down at the blankets. They were blue, for a boy. You had been hoping for a girl, so Changbin wouldn’t try and make your son inherit his throne in the Mafia business.

Your worry faded when your eyes laid on the music box Changbin had gotten for the nursery. You gently picked it up and turned the little hand at the bottom before opening it. A little family, a mother, a father, and a son, all popped out as music began playing. Tears filled your eyes as you listened to the song, a little love song Changbin sung to you when you first started dating. You had been cuddled up in his arms, your head on his chest as he sang it to you.

You smiled at the sweet memory, how Changbin was the sweetest guy you had ever met, despite being a Mafia boss. He and his friends all owned different sides of their mafia empire, and Changbin was just below Chan. It put him, and you, in a lot of danger. You were constantly worried about Changbin, and it had taken on a toll on your pregnancy, as you were getting more sick, and having more pains. You tried not to worry so much, as you didn’t want to put stress on your baby.

But it was so hard to not worry or feel stressed when the love of your life was out there, possibly in danger, possibly never coming back. He texted and called you as much as he could, whenever he could. Sometimes it’d be days, sometimes hours. You just wanted him home. You wanted him home with you, to protect you like he promised.

“I’m going out to buy some groceries to make some goods.” You told a maid.

“I should go milady, you’re pregnant and it could be dangerous.” The maid insisted.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” You said with a smile. “Besides, I need some fresh air.”

After a bit of bickering with the maid, you were in your car, pulling out of the giant driveway and going to the city. You knew how much Changbin loved sweets, so you decided to get some ingredients for some baked goods for him, as he was coming home tonight. He had told you he was, and he promised you he’d stay home a bit to be with you.

You stepped into the market and happily grabbed everything you needed, when you felt eyes on you. You looked around and saw nothing, simply shrugging and going up to the cashier. After you paid, you walked out, almost bouncing to your car. You put the groceries in the trunk and got in the drivers seat, turning on some music. You looked down at your belly and touched it, feeling a small kick.

“Your daddy is gonna be excited to feel you kick.” You said with a loving smile.

You pulled out of the parking lot and made your way back to the large mansion. You noticed a black SUV behind you, and they definitely pulled out the same way and time you did. You furrowed your brows and made a random turn, and low and behold, it followed.

“Shit!” You hissed.

You quickly sped up, making as many random turns as you could. Your body shook with fear as you kept driving, not wanting to lead them to your home. You turned to look back and sighed in relief, then gasped when you faced foreword. You slammed on your breaks as you car slid into an SUV. You held up your arms as the airbag deployed and skinned your arms.

You slowly moved your arms and let out a squeal as your door opened and you were being ripped from the car. You kicked and and fought back, desperate to get away.

“No! Let me go!” You yelled.

“She’s pregnant too? This is going to be much more interesting.” You heard one of the men say.

You kicked and tried screaming when they taped your mouth and tied your hands, tossing you in the back of the SUV. Tears poured down your eyes as you saw one grab your phone, and you knew exactly what he was doing. He was calling Changbin.

You watched them dial in a FaceTime, and Changbin picked up almost immediately.

“Hey baby-“ He froze when he saw the men and not you.

“Hello, Seo Changbin.” The one in the drivers seat purred.

“Where the fuck is she?!” You heard Changbin yell.

“She’s safe, for now. I’ll give you 24 hours to come to the main building, before I put a bullet in her head. You don’t want to lose your precious wife and your soon to be child, do you?” The man threatened.

“Show me she’s alive. Now.” Changbin demanded.

You watched as the man moved the phone to you, laying in the back seat with tears streaming down your face. Changbin cursed and you watched as his eyes gentled as he looked at you.

“I’ll be there soon baby, you’re going to be okay.” He soothed you.

More tears pooled down your face as you closed your eyes tightly, fear for your baby, and for Changbin making you tremble.

“I promise, I’m coming.” He said softly.

“Better hurry up Changbin, I don’t have the patience.” The man who held the phone said, moving it away and smirking at Changbin.

When they brought you back to their building, they dropped you on the ground and you landed with a whimper, as you had turned to land on your side and not your stomach. You heard shoes walking towards you as another man, who you realized was the boss, looked down at you.

“His wife and unborn child? You brought me quite the treat.” He said with a sadistic smirk.

He reached his hand out towards you and you jerked away, narrowing your eyes. He chuckled as he reached and took the tape off of your mouth, an amused smirk on his face.

“Feisty huh? How cute.” He purred.

He went to touch your stomach and you lunged foreword, biting his arm. He let out a pained yell and his hand hit your cheek, making you yelp.

“The bitch bit me!” He screamed, holding his bleed arm.

He glared at you then gripped your hair, dragging you into another room where he threw you down. You squealed when he grabbed your chin and slapped you again, anger in his eyes.

“I’ll carve that baby right the fuck out of you.” He snarled as he lifted your head.

You felt the tip dig into your cheek and you tried to struggle away, but he gripped your hair tight and made you look at him as he slid it across your cheek. You whimpered as he smirked, bringing the knife to your belly. You struggled harshly against him, not caring that he was nearly ripping your hair out. He gripped your throat harshly and pressed down, making you choke with one large hand.

“It’s a shame, I was going to give Changbin time to save you, but you ruined that. I’m going to take the baby first, then watch you bleed out.” He purred as he raised the knife.

You closed your eyes tight when a gun shot ran out and the man dropped you. You landed with a hard thud and whimpered, tears pouring down your face as you gasped for air. You felt arms grab you and you were lifted to your feet. You looked up and saw Felix and Jisung,both of them holding you up.

“Are you okay?!” Jisung asked over all of the noise.

He looked at your bloody lip and the cut on your cheek and you let out a tiny sob as you buried your face into him as he lifted you up.

“Changbin wants us to get her out of here, lets go.” Felix yelled. 

They rushed you into the car and shot at anyone chasing the three of you, quickly driving to the hospital Woojin and Seungmin owned. Seungmin met the three of you around back and rushed you into a room with an ultra sound, his wife, who is a nurse, checking on the baby while he looked you over.

“You’re so lucky Y/N.” He breathed in relief as he made sure you were okay.

“Wh-what about my baby?” You asked, tears pouring down your face.

‘He’s okay Y/N, he’s alright.” His wife said with a kind smile.

They moved you to your room and gave you pain killers and fluids, making sure you were alright. You laid on your side, tears pouring down your face. You were still so scared, and where was Changbin? He was supposed to be there for you, to protect you, and he wasn’t. You felt sick as you realized, he really wasn’t there for you as much as he promised, and now this happened.

You heard the door open and the sound of boots walking in, and you knew it was him. Changbin had finally come.

“Y/N?” He called.

You were silent, angry. If he had kept his promise, if he had stayed home, this wouldn’t of happened. You wouldn’t be in this mess, you wouldn’t be scared.

“Y/N are you okay?” He asked.

“You promised... You promised you’d protect me. You lied.” You whispered, tears pouring down your face.

“Y/N-”

“Leave.” You said, your voice shaking.

“Y/N please-”

“Get out! I’m done Changbin! Leave me alone! You’re not... Good for us!” You yelled, curling more into yourself as you sobbed.

Silence filled the room, then the sound of him walking away filled your ringing ears. He was walking weird, one foot coming down more harder than the other. 

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered before shutting the door.

He slid down the door and hid his face in his hands, which were torn up from fighting and using his gun. The front of his suit was covered in blood, from the bullet sitting in his shoulder, and from the other men. Blood covered his pant leg as he was shot in his thigh as well, his face bleeding and bruised from fighting. He had lost it in that building, making sure to get a point across to never harm you or his child.

“Are you okay?” Woojin asked, dropping beside him and rubbing his opposite shoulder.

“She wants us to break up..” Changbin whispered.

“Give her time. She’s just shaken up. Now come on, we have to get those bullets out.” Woojin said, helping his friend up as he limped into another room.

You heard a knock at your door and then it opened, foot steps coming to your bed.

“Y/N?” It was Jisung, who was your best friend.

You saw up and looked at him, your face stained with dried tears. He sat down beside you and rubbed your arm, a sad look in his eye.

“Have you spoke to Changbin?” He asked.

“He came in earlier. I’m just so sick of him telling me he’s going to be there and protect me, when he’s never there for me. Then this..” You trailed off.

“Y/N, he DOES protect you. He DID protect you. He saved you and his unborn child and risked himself to do so. He didn’t even get checked before running in your room to make sure you’re alright... Even though he got hurt really bad.” Jisung said softly.

“He’s hurt?” You asked, your eyes widening.

Jisung nodded and sighed.

“He came in here so fast to make sure you both were okay Y/N... He loves you both so much. If you can get mad at him for being away, be mad at us for needing him. I promise we won’t bother you both for awhile.. Just at least give him another chance.” He pleaded.

You leaped out of your bed and ran over to where Seugnmin’s wife was, your eyes wide with worry.

“Where is he?” You asked, your voice shaking.

“The room next to yours love.” She said with a smile.

You hurried as fast as you could to his room before stopping in front of it. You took a breath and slowly opened the door. Your eyes landed on him, his muscular back to you as he sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. You noticed his left shoulder and left right thigh were bandaged, as he was shirtless and wearing a pair of basketball shorts. 

“Ch-Changbin?” You asked.

He lifted his head quickly and stood up, walking towards you. Tears streamed down your face as you saw dried blood staining his upper and lower body, his face full of bruises and a couple stitches.

“Y/N.. I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

You stepped into his arms, burying your face into his good shoulder. He raised his good arm and cradled your head as you sobbed into his skin, your body trembling.

“I’m so sorry Changbin... I didn’t know you were hurt.” You sobbed.

“Shhh... It’s okay baby. I told you before, I’ll keep you both safe.” He whispered, pulling away and pecking your lips.

He winced as he bent down and got down on his knees, smiling as he kissed your tummy.

“Seungmin told me you were safe buddy, I’m so glad.” He whispered.

He slowly raised himself back up and pulled you back into his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to your head.

“Please... Stay with me. I’ll be home more often, I promise. I’ll never let anything like this happen again.” He whispered, his voice shaking.

You pulled away and cupped his cheek, gently rubbing it. He grabbed your hand and kissed it as a tear slid down his cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere Changbin.” You whispered.

He smiled and pulled you in for a kiss, a smile on his lips. He dropped his hand to your stomach and smiled.

“You hear that bud? You guys aren’t going anywhere.” He said.

You both laid on his hospital bed, his head resting on your bump as he sang that song to you, making you drift off.

“I’ll give my last breath to protect you both.” He whispered into your belly, a smile on his face. “I promise.”

#ChangBin #CHANGBEANIE #seo changbin #stray kids #straykids #stray kids angst #skz #skz imagines #skz changbin #skz seo changbin #stray kids changbin #stray kids seo changbin

[itstriabeauty4x-blog]

the things about hair removal

Permanent hair removal is the use of hair removal laser to generate ultra-high frequency oscillation signals, forming an electrostatic field, acting on the hair, destroying the hair follicles, removing the hair, and no longer growing new hair, achieving permanent hair removal.

Temporary hair removal is to temporarily remove the hair by using a depilatory agent or a depilatory wax, but new hair will grow soon. The depilatory agent includes a depilatory liquid, a depilatory cream and a depilatory cream, and contains a chemical component capable of dissolving the hair, solubilizes the hair shaft, and achieves the purpose of depilation, and is mostly used for depilating small fluff, and often used to make the newborn hair become thinner and lighter. And it is easy to use and can be used at home. Chemical depilatory agents are more irritating to the skin, so they should not be attached to the skin for a long time. After use, they must be cleaned with warm water and then coated with a nutrient cream. Note that allergic skin should not be used.

Permanent hair removal

Laser hair removal laser hair removal

This is a method of modern medical beauty. It uses the selective photothermal effect of the laser to pass a specific wavelength of laser light through the epidermis layer, allowing the melanin in the hair follicle to selectively absorb the laser light, thereby generating thermal effects, necrosis of the hair follicle, and no growth of the hair follicle. Since the process of endothermic and necrotic hair follicles is irreversible, the use of laser hair removal can achieve permanent hair removal.

Laser hair removal has the advantages of thorough hair removal, high speed of operation, no damage to the epidermis, and inconspicuous pigmentation. It should be noted that laser hair removal generally needs to be carried out 3-6 times in order to achieve permanent hair removal.

Photon hair removal

Photon hair removal is an upgraded version of laser hair removal. It is also the most commonly used hair removal method for female stars. It is the most safe, effective, fast and no side effect high-tech hair removal method. It is the principle that the melanin in the hair follicle can absorb the light of a specific wavelength band, so that the temperature of the hair follicle is rapidly increased, thereby accurately destroying the hair convex and the nipple in the hair follicle, causing it to coagulate and necrosis, thereby achieving the purpose of removing the body hair.

Photon hair removal takes a short time, no special care is needed after surgery, and it has the advantages of small pain, long-lasting effect and no damage to the epidermis. However, it usually takes 4-6 operations to achieve permanent hair removal. In addition, it should be noted that the body should not be exposed to the hot sun within 2-4 weeks after the photon hair removal surgery.

Contraindications

Local or systemic inflammation, immune system defects, abnormal blood clots, photoallergies, using aspirin or antioxidants

Mentally unhealthy people and pregnant women.

Electrotherapy hair removal electrotherapy hair removal

Electrotherapy hair removal is to insert a very thin wire into the root of the body hair and then energize it, so that the current destroys the hair follicle, thus achieving the effect of permanent hair removal. Before using hairdressing to remove hair, you need to put anesthetic on the hair removal part. During the process of hair removal, the surface of the skin will be slightly burnt, resulting in temporary small scars. After about a week, these scars will scar and detach. It takes about 20 seconds to remove one using electrotherapy, so this method is suitable for people with less hair loss. In addition, people with scars should be careful to use electrotherapy hair removal to avoid leaving small spots.

YA-man laser hair removal machine STA-172

Before use, please be sure to scrape off all your hair before using it! ! Otherwise you will find that the hair removal effect of this machine is almost 0! The main principle is to make the hair grow slower, and gradually achieve the effect of permanent hair removal. After using this machine, the biggest feeling is that the speed of hair growth is really slow, and the newly grown hair becomes softer than before. And the skin becomes particularly smooth and detailed

Use part: whole body

Silkn sensepil xl

The only difference between the normal version and this XL is the life of the lamp. XL is suitable for the whole body. If you only want to kneel down or several areas, it is enough to buy one of the most common versions. The girl with more hair is recommended to buy one. Before using the razor, the long-term use is black and black. A little bit, can't stand it! ! Now that I have used this one, my underarms are white and tender, and the little black spots have been beaten before. The large area is not long-haired. Only a few of them are similar to small hairs. I believe that they will continue to fight. No such section, covering a large area, saving time

Applicable parts: whole body

Tria 4x

Small laser hair removal device, the principle goes to the hospital laser hair removal hospital! There are stalls, more affordable than going to the hospital, but this is still very painful, insist, do more times

Use parts: underarm and bikini line

Temporary hair removal

Japanese cecile maia hair removal cream

The characteristics are very mild and the smell is very good! Use before bathing, the whole body can be used, the shortest one minute can be completed, it is more difficult to remove, such as the mane to stay for 5 minutes, just wipe it off with a paper towel, no longer use a razor, the sponge head is convenient and fast and contains hair suppressing ingredients, this After a few times, the hair growth rate will be much slower.

Use part: whole body

Marbella hair removal wax, wax paper

Depilatory wax paper, can take away, take off the whole piece of pain, violent means, immediate, easy to pull off, so the third day you can see them grow, burn money

Hair removal beeswax, household, hair is too short to apply

Use part: leg underarm

Wei Ting Hair Removal Cream

After personal use, I feel that it is still somewhat pungent. Chemical hair removal is inevitable. It is not clean. The advantage is that it is good to sell. It is cheap. This is quite gentle. People with less hair can choose this.

Use parts: legs, arms

Shu Fu Lady Shaver

If you don't like chemical hair removal, you can consider the blade 喔, clean and easy to use, fast, and cheap. It is worthwhile to catch up with activities. There are many different blades for sensitive skin and neutral skin. The disadvantage is the comparison of hair length. fast

Use parts: legs, arms

Kanebo Hair Removal Mousse

Very dense foam, like fresh cream, can be applied to the parts where hair removal is required. If the thickness is 3mm, cover the hair. Let stand for 5-10 minutes, according to the softness of your hair, then wipe it off with paper or scraper.

Use parts: legs, arms

Etude House raised her hands for 5 minutes to gently remove hair cream

As long as 5 minutes, you can easily go to the donkey. This model comes with a painless hair removal sponge. It is easy to remove hair without stimulation, but it is not too clean.

Use parts: legs, arms

Three suggestions for summer hair removal:

1, hair loss may lead to skin infections

It is reported that there are not a few patients who have skin discomfort in the hospital every year because of hair loss. The doctor reminded that underarms are sweaty and moist parts of the human body, and the skin is thinner and tenderer than other parts, and it is more likely to breed bacteria and cause infection.

2, the epilator should not be shared with others

Therefore, when choosing the way to remove hair under the armpit, you should consider a safer and more effective way. If you use a stripper to remove hair, the stripper must be kept clean and dry. Always disinfect, don't share a stripper with others.

[demetriarose-xx]

@curiouscast ·:

              The charming grin that had been the demise of so many women before her slipped over Jared’s features easily as Demetria rattled off compliments about himself and his costume. He was nothing compared to her though, a vision of pure elegance shrouded in hell fire and brimstone. He gave her points for creativity of course, having seen the costume in it’s bare bones state the Jones had no idea just how encompassing the wings he had purchased for her would be. And of course he had spared no expense, they had been something she wanted and it was becoming evident very early in the relationship that whatever the beauty wanted the tutor would acquire no matter what hoops and hurdles he had to over come in order to complete the request.

Little did Jared know he was having the same impure thoughts as the devilish beauty, visions of her frame pinned against the door of his classroom or the thick mahogany of his desk dancing through his head like sugarplums at Christmas time. The blood clinging to his lips would surely stain her neck, leaving smeared impressions of passion and wanting as they encompassed the entire map of her body. It would be so obvious when they returned, with makeup smeared and cheeks flushed, hair tousled and stinking of sex. Needless to say the very image of the beauty wasn’t the only thing that Brough such a smirk to the raven haired males lips. “Look who’s talking.” He ventured, the irony of the Devil using the word hot not lost on the literary scholar.

As her frame began to fade away Jared made quick, subtle steps to follow, the eagerness behind his feet shrouded by the many others that laced their path. The crowd was distracted of course, the cacophony of noise and imagery enough to keep their eyes anywhere but on the beauty and the beast. So desperately did he want to reach out and touch her, to caress the backside that was so flawlessly framed by the wings he’d retrieved for her. There was lust behind those cerulean pools but also adoration - both emotions that were hidden from plain sight thanks to the crimson effect of the contact lenses he donned. Admittedly it seemed as though Jared was sizing Demi up like she was a bite to eat, but that was part of this character wasn’t it? The vampire who hungered eternally for blood? Such creatures didn’t exist of course but if they had Jared’s doppelgänger would certainly have been a force to be reckoned with. Other worldly powers or no this creature would have had zero issue drawing in women to feed from, one look at those baby blues and they would be putty in his hands - but of course, this was all simply fantasy, an amusing thought in the back of the tutors mind.

As they reached the punch bowl Jared was sure to give passers by a polite acknowledging smile each of which was accompanied by a nod - all in an attempt to persuade them not to strike up a conversation. It was a passing nod, the kind you might give someone in a hallway when you wanted to confirm their existence but also had somewhere else to be - and he did have somewhere else to be, glued to the side of the devilish queen of course, there was no where else the tutor wanted to be situated.

            He grasped a plastic cup, swirling the ladle within the large clear bowl as the mixture of juice formed a subtle vortex thanks to his manipulation. Filling one cup just below the brim he offered it to Demi, filling a cup for himself shortly there after. It was a mixture of pink lemonade and some other ingredients - a variable witches brew if he’d ever laid eyes on one. With the hand that wasn’t currently invested in gripping his cup Jared dug into his jean pocket, subconsciously needing to distract himself lest he faulted and reach out to caress the beauty in such a public place. “So, Ms. Rivers,” He began, well aware the music would be enough to keep others from eavesdropping on their conversation but smart enough to know he could play the entendre game if he phrased things properly. “Do you have any plans for after the dance?” Ultra marine’s widened with the question, as if to emphasis his point all the while that trade mark smirk continued to stay plastered against his features, even as he took a sip of the lemonade mixture.

Stiletto clad ankles glided across the makeshift dancefloor, distancing herself from the tutor whilst a crimson smile spread across her pearls – curling upward as she looked smug with herself over the fact that she could hear him so eagerly following behind. Just the imagery of Jared trying to keep up with her bare thighs, bumping into a hurdle of other patients whilst his cerulean pools MELTED across her body – god, it was comical. Soon enough though, he reached the table; his own adonis form towering over her as hazels flickered upward dangerously. Perhaps nobody would notice if they slipped off briefly… Demetria had all of the wet wipes and makeup that she needed in her room to freshen up – a COVER UP in the easiest of ways to call it. Though, she couldn’t promise that her own bed would be as comfortable as his memory foam mattress. She was lumped with some springy old thing and not to mention, it was a single – though the RISK of it would have been. The sheer feeling of a ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity tingling at her fingertips as she pictured them roaming across his skin.

Feathered wings tussled themselves against her back; a bloodred fountain pouring over her shoulder blades as she lured the men she wanted in – although being honest, there was only one person that her sights were set on tonight. Demetria had always been the kind of person to drag people in and throw them away when she no longer needed them… She did it in TRUE histrionic fashion. Wrapping people around her finger, watching them pirouette in circles around her knuckle whilst the tip of her S E R P E N T tongue flickered across the cherries of her lips. It was so satisfying watching people PINE over her… It filled her to the brim with happiness to know that men wanted her and she could reel them in, just like that – though nobody would ever compare to Jared Jones.

With her fingers extended, accepting the plastic cup of punch that he had poured for her in his gentlemanly style, she gave a small nod before taking a sip – noticing the knuckles of his spare hand clutching as though he was physically having to restrain himself from feasting upon her instead. As his words begun to leave his lips, Demetria raised a singular eyebrow – curious as to what dialogue was about to follow and then his question came. For a moment, the beauty furrowed her eyebrows… What did he think she was going to be doing? She was trapped in an insane asylum; locked away from the world ‘for her own good’. She was going to go back to the place that she called HOME, swipe her makeup off until her cheeks were their natural glowing rose and jump straight into bed. Or so she thought until she realised just what his words meant – oh, it was a PROPOSITION. Allowing her features to return to their natural state, a giggle vibrating through her chest as pearls glistened under the orange and green disco lights that flared across the room, the beauty placed her cup down temporarily – fingertips pressing to her cheeks in an embarrassment that she didn’t quite understand his innuendo immediately, although she was sure that Jared would have found it endearing.

“I am going to break OUT of this place in this exact outfit and find myself a nice man to cosy up to… Tall, dark, handsome – a total NERD in disguise.” A teasing glitter scattered across autumnal hues, a sadistic smile sprawling across her petals as her chest found itself tilting in towards Jared. To anybody else, it may have looked like she was whispering – snitching on the patients who had managed to find contraband alcohol, swirling the concoction in with their tropical coloured punch and consuming it like it was water. But Demetria and Jared? They knew exactly what she was doing. Plumped lips moved slowly, accentuating each little vowel her tongue slithered – cherries curving in a tantalising manner as though to drag out her words and reel him in. Quickly snapping back as if she could so quickly flip out of the seductive persona that she had previously been portraying and picking her plastic cup up, lips wrapping their way around a small couple of inches of red and taking a sip. “Or I might just go back to my room and go to sleep, you know me – the life of E X C I T E M E N T. What about you? Enlighten me, Mr Jones... You don’t have another frisky little devil in your life that could storm in through your front door like a wrecking ball and cause a load of damage, do you?”

#have this mid thread bullshit #honestly this reply was so awful but i need some jemi in my life #even though it is with a heavy heart #sigh #i guess i'm going to have to start writing with some of your other characters now ... whoopsie #▏ you caught me staring – but i caught you staring back▕.

[just-an-anxious-mess]

Secret Ingredient (Part 2)

Part 1 Part 3

Logan awoke with a yawn and a stretch, reaching out to his bedside table for his glasses.

He pushed them onto his face and checked the time, squinting as the bright light from his phone hurt his eyes slightly.

It was 9am which was late for him but he shrugged it off, it was his birthday after all so he felt like he could excuse himself for sleeping in.

He pushed himself put of bed and made sure his clothes and appearance were adequate before walking out of his room towards the lounge and kitchen.

He walked into the lounge and froze in the doorway, his eyes scanning the entire room in shock.

Large banners emblazoned with 'Happy Birthday Logan!' and streamers of grey and dark blue were on the walls.

Logan was surprised at how the decorations were 'extra' enough that it was obvious Patton was behind it but tasteful enough that it wasn't an eyesore.

"Happy Birthday Logan." said Roman who was seated on the couch with a small grin as Logan tried to force his face into one of indifference.

Logan nodded in acknowledgement and took a step into the room, coming to a stop when a set of hands covered his eyes.

"Guess who?" came the excited voice of Patton and Logan rolled his eyes before replying "I know it's you Patton."

The hands were pulled away and Logan turned around to face the beaming trait.

"As soon as Virgil gets here we can have breakfast together like a family." Patton said bouncing slightly.

Logan raised an eyebrow at Pattons enthusiasm but didn't say anything because Virgil chose that exact moment to wander in.

"Now Virgils here we can have breakfast!" squealed Patton who skipped to the kitchen, leaving the other three exchanging confused looks.

They understood some of his excitement because he tended to get very enthusiastic about birthdays but it seemed as if he was ten times as excited.

"Happy Birthday dude." Virgil said to Logan casually. "Just think of how much worse it could be. Patt could have used super bright contrasting colours and thrown confetti at you."

Logan paled and glanced around before muttering "Don't give him any ideas."

Virgil smirked. "Ideas aren't my department, teach. You'll have to try and reign in sassy sash boy over there."

Roman seemed to overhear because he sent a pretend offended look at Virgil. "How dare you? I'm a Prince with great responsibility and respect for those of lower status than myself."

Virgil and Logan fixed him with almost identical unimpressed looks and Roman chuckled "You should see your faces, I'm just jesting and I actually quite like that nickname."

Virgil rolled his eyes and Logan shook his head, about to respond, when Patton poked his head in and asked Virgil to help him a second.

Virgil reluctantly followed Patton into the kitchen where he was floored to see a large plate of cookies sitting on the side.

"How...?" Virgil asked, unsure how Patton managed to find time to make cookies because they were obviously not shop bought.

Patton grinned "A magician never tells his tricks."

"Huh? But you're not a magician Patt." Virgil said but his eyes widened as Patton suddenly pulled an enormous triple layered cake out of a tupperware box he'd removed from a random cupboard.

Virgils jaw dropped as he realised the cake was homemade too.

"Do you think he'll like it?" Patton asked and Virgil turned to him with a small laugh.

"If he doesn't I'll shove his head in it. This is magnificent Patt."

Patton giggled slightly "Now Virgil that wouldn't be very nice, it's his birthday and I would actually like to try some of this cake so no pushing his face into it."

Virgil sighed and placed a hand on his chest as if he were heartbroken, slightly reminiscent of Romans dramatic pose. "I guess I can survive without doing that." Virgils expression suddenly turned mischievous as he continued "although I'm sure you wouldn't mind trying the cake off his face if I did."

Patton gasped and shushed Virgil, his face burning bright red. "Virgil! Keep your voice down!"

Virgil snickered "It's alright Patt. He's probably too preoccupied worrying about me giving you ideas on how to be more 'extra'."

Patton took a few breaths and fanned his face to try and cool it down. "What I called you in here for was to help me plate up the cookies. I know what you're going to say and I know technically cookies aren't breakfast but I worked so hard on them and I can't wait for you all to try them!"

Virgil shook his head fondly "Alright, alright I'll help."

Patton beamed and the two of them split the large batch of cookies onto four plates. One for each of them.

"Let's go then." Virgil said and the two of them walked out holding a plate in each hand.

Patton handed a plate to Logan with a smile and waited with baited breath for his reaction.

Logan was taken by surprise at the plate of cookies and stared down at them in confusion, unsure why they were having cookies for breakfast.

"Why...." Logan started but suddenly found a cookie being shoved in his mouth.

"Virgil!" Patton exclaimed as Virgil crammed the cookie in Logans mouth.

Roman let out an undignified snort of laughter as Logans face went from shocked to angry to dazed.

Logan was stunned and amazed at how good the cookie had been. He didn't think he'd ever had anything better which was saying something because, although he told the others off for having too much sugar, he had a big sweet tooth and would occasionally sneak little sugary treats when no one was around.

He became acutely aware of Patton watching him and he suddenly realised something. "Are these homemade?" he asked.

When Patton nodded Logan struggled to find words. "These are the most masterfully constructed cookies I've ever had."

Patton jumped up and down on the spot as he stuttered out "Th....thanks."

Virgil watched with a smug smile and glanced over at where Roman was munching on his own cookies.

"What are you staring at?" Roman suddenly asked and Virgils eyes widened slightly at getting caught looking

"I was just comparing the way you were eating those cookies to how the hyenas ate in The Lion King." Virgil quickly commented.

Roman gasped "I am not a hyena."

Virgil grinned "No, maybe you're more like Pumba."

Roman spluttered at that, drawing the attention of the other two. "I am not Pumba, if anything I am Mufasa, the brave, noble, strong king."

"Really? You should stay away from wildebeest and high cliffs then. Although maybe you'll be OK unless you have some jealous brother waiting in the wings to steal your crown." Virgil said and smirked as Roman began to get red in the face.

"Patton! Virgils being mean to me!" Roman complained, stomping his foot and acting like stroppy child.

"Virgil, stop teasing Roman. If he's Pumba then that makes you Timon." Patton said with a smile.

Virgil stared at Patton with his mouth open. "What? I'm not Timon! I don't identify as any character from The Lion King."

"I don't know, maybe you're Scar." Roman muttered and Virgil sighed.

"There are so many reasons that's incorrect. For one I do not want the responsibility of ruling, plus that would make us brothers which is a definite no and although I'd love to push you off a cliff it's too much hard work and we all know I hate working hard."

"Wait, why is you two being brothers a definite no?" Logan asked, trying to keep up with the Disney talk.

Both Virgil and Roman ignored him in favour of glaring at each other but Patton whispered "I'll explain later."

"What did you two think of the cookies?" Patton asked, pulling Virgil and Roman out of their glaring contest.

"They're delicious." Roman declared, making Patton grin happily.

"I haven't tried one yet. The one I was going to have ended up in Logans mouth." Virgil said, sending a smirk at Logan.

"You're missing out." Roman said with his mouthful of cookie. "Here." he pushed the cookie he'd already taken a bite of into Virgils mouth.

Virgil made a noise of protest and reluctantly ate the bit of cookie, his eyes widening in surprise at how good the cookie was.

"Damn, Patt these are the best." Virgil said as he stole the cookie Roman had just picked up and put it in his mouth.

"Hey! That's mine." Roman said and Virgil smirked "Not anymore."

Patton was going to try and intervene but decided he hadn't had enough sleep to deal with them today and instead said "How about we do presents?"

Logan immediately tried to protest "You didn't need to get me anything, I don't need anything."

Roman raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh really? I suppose you don't want to use the ultra powerful Telescope I created in the imagination for you then."

Logan quick backtracked "Wait, you created a telescope? How... Why... I don't even remember mentioning a telescope."

Roman grinned "I'm taking it that you do want the telescope then?"

Logan nodded rapidly and decided to keep his mouth shout about not wanting presents from now on.

Virgil shifted awkwardly for a bit before muttering "I... Er... Got you an ecosphere. They're aesthetically pleasing and... Stuff. It would have been hard to hide so it's in my room at the moment but I'll give it to you in a bit."

Logan smiled, pleased with both his gifts so far.

Patton seemed to be almost as fidgety as Virgil had been and Logan wondered what had him so nervous.

"I got you a few things. The first thing is these." Patton said and pulled out a case which he handed to Logan.

Logan opened the case in shock as he looked at the new pair of glasses it contained. He immediately switched the ones he was wearing for the new ones and was surprised they were the correct prescription.

"You're always having to readjust your glasses due to the slightly loose arm so I thought you'd like a new pair." Patton explained, his cheeks tinted pink.

Logan smiled and said "These are more than satisfactory."

"Um... The other thing needs to be fetched so, Virgil come help me again." Patton said hurriedly and rushed out of the room, followed by Virgil who managed to grab another cookie off of Roman on his way out.

Tags: @amethystdarkwolf @mcfreakin-childproof-caps @patchworkofstars @kitkat-doodles @unikornavenger @dolphin-squirrel @sympathetic-deceit-trash @starryfirefliesbloggo @cakercanart @neonb-fly @kaymischief25 @punsterterry @aprilthevene @theoddkidnextdoor @fuckingemoace @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom @im-so-infinitesimal @sea-blue-child @thecatchat @iris-sanders-athena @saphael-malec102

#patton sanders #logan sanders #just an anxious mess's fics #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logicality #prinxiety #fluff

[inyournightmares97]

Au!Mark x Introvert!Reader

“OK, but like, could you maybe put some extra green tea into my smoothie? And I’d kind of like to know what milk you use, because I only drink organic.” 

You took a deep breath and forced a smile at the handsome man in front of you. Jackson Wang was a regular at your local gym, and he could almost positively be seen hanging around it on Saturday mornings, wearing a tank top that showed off all of his buff arms and most of his chest. But it wasn’t his visuals that were the most striking thing about him; no. His high-pitched laugh and loud voice could be heard jabbering from miles away. 

“We have an option of organic milk,” you reassured him with a sigh. Considering that the smoothie store you worked at was located right outside the gym and aimed at attracting the gym’s clientele, you needed to keep some healthy options at hand. 

He blinked. “Okay. But is the milk UHT? Because I heard that since most of organic milk is imported from different countries, they need it to have a longer shelf life and they put it through the UHT process.” 

You blinked at him dully. Did you really have to go through this with him every single morning? Could Jackson Wang not simply order his smoothie and buzz off? You took a deep breath and held back your frustration. 

“I don’t know what UHT means,” you said through gritted teeth. 

“It’s Ultra-Heat Treatment, it’s a process they use to sterilize the milk in order to kill the spores and you basically heat it to insanely high temperatures. It’s extremely unhealthy and bad for pregnant women because it risks the brain development of their unborn babies.” 

“I’d be more worried about your own brain development,” you muttered, before entering the order for Jackson’s green tea, blueberry and banana smoothie into the system in front of you. You turned your head and called out to your co-worker, who was in charge of making the smoothies. “Mina! Can you bring out a can of the organic milk we use so that Mr. Wang can verify if it meets his health standards?” 

Mina gave you an exasperated look. “Yes, of course.” 

Jackson looked pleased as he headed over to the side of the counter where Mina was standing, and proceeded to analyse the container of milk that she showed him. You sighed and turned to Jackson’s friend- the quieter, more pleasant guy that often accompanied him on his gym trips. You forced a smile at him. 

“And for you, sir?” 

Mark gave you a small, rather shy smile. You much preferred Mark to his loud and boisterous friend. He rarely spoke except to place his order, and he’d never once complained about his smoothie. He bit his lip and pointed at the menu. “I’ll have a berry smoothie, please. How much is that?” 

You told him the bill amount, glancing out of the corner of your eye at Mina, who was struggling to answer Jackson’s questions about whether the UHT destroyed the vitamin content of the milk. Mark handed you his card and forced a smile. 

“Sorry about him,” he said awkwardly. 

You blinked. “Huh? No, that’s okay-”

“You could honestly just make his smoothie with normal milk and he wouldn’t notice the difference. He just gets unbearable after his workouts,” Mark told you. You cracked a smile, wondering if you should just put a huge dollop of store-bought ice cream into Jackson’s low-fat organic smoothie and see if he noticed the difference. The thought pleased you as you returned Mark’s card to him. 

“That doesn’t sound so bad. Thank you for placing your order, you can take a seat and the smoothies will be delivered to your table.” 

Mark nodded. He hesitated near the counter for a moment, opening his mouth and then closing it again. You waited for him to say something but he merely gave you a sweet smile and went to find himself a table. 

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“You need to do something about it, Mark,” Jackson insisted, as he took a sip of his smoothie and winced. “I can’t keep coming here for you just because you have a crush on the girl who works the counter. I don’t even think the green tea she put in my smoothie is organic.” 

Mark sighed. “It won’t kill you, Jackson.” 

“You don’t know that. What’s the use in working out this wonderful temple of a body, if all I’m going to do is inject it with pesticide-filled green tea? Look. Just go and ask her out so we can start drinking homemade smoothies.” 

Mark didn’t reply, his eyes were following you as he watched you slide out from behind the counter and exchange your shift with a co-worker. He glanced at his watch. You always ended your shift at exactly 11 am. He often thought about following you out and asking you for a cup of coffee, but he hadn’t yet gathered the guts to do it. He hadn’t gathered the guts to do anything except smile at you while he placed his order. 

Hell, he didn’t even like smoothies all that much. 

“Go,” Jackson insisted, giving Mark a light shove as you exited the smoothie store. “Go, go, go, go!”  

Mark took a deep breath and finished the last of his smoothie in a gulp, before following you out of the store. He caught up to you and gave you a smile, hoping that you wouldn’t think he was being creepy. 

“Hi,” he managed to blurt out. 

You blinked at him. “Hi.” 

“So, uh, today’s... the smoothie tasted really good today. Did you put something special in it? Or was it maybe Jackson’s organic milk?”  Mark blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. You blinked at him in disbelief. What was he even trying to say? You raised an eyebrow. 

“I didn’t make the smoothie today. Mina did.” 

Mark flushed. Why couldn’t he have said something cooler?  “Right, right. Of course. But the smoothies over here are way better than the ones at the store down the street. I wonder what makes them taste so good? Some secret ingredient?” 

“Sorry, I’m not allowed to discuss the store’s recipes with customers, it’s a clause in my employment contract,” you replied firmly. Mark looked dumbfounded for a moment and you sighed. Was he going to keep standing there? You really wanted to go home. “Anyway, it was nice talking to you. Glad you enjoyed the smoothie. Bye.” 

Mark watched you leave, holding back a miserable sigh. 

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Honestly, you were a little tired of all this. 

It had been a full three months since Jackson and Mark had started frequenting the smoothie shop and it was frustrating you. Jackson’s requirements changed every day- one day he was on a purely fruit diet, the next day he’d decided that he would only drink goat milk and this week, he’d read some research study which claimed probiotic yogurt was all a scam. 

“What would he do if I made his smoothie using full-fat, non-organic cream?” you muttered under your breath. Mark heard you and gave you his usual smile. To be honest, you didn’t mind Mark much. He kept Jackson under control and while he often made awkward attempts at conversation with you, you had to admit that he had a really nice smile. 

“He honestly wouldn’t notice,” Mark insisted. He cleared his throat and watched you enter numbers into the computer in front of you. “Uh... would you like to get coffee sometime?” 

You weren’t really listening to him, busy typing up his bill. It was a pain to calculate how much Jackson’s smoothie cost because he always made so many customizations. “Huh? Oh, we don’t sell coffee. There’s a coffee shop across the street.” 

Mark flushed pink, his eyes wide. “Uh, that’s not-” 

“Your total is $9.50.” 

“R-right.” 

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“This isn’t working,” Mark muttered. he gave Jackson a helpless look. “I’m shit at flirting and she never gets the point. She literally just answers my questions and then turns away from me. What am I supposed to do?” 

“Well, you can’t just keep smiling at her like an idiot and hoping she’ll understand your crush. You have to push her into noticing you. And not with cheesy lines. She looks like she doesn’t like flirty guys,” Jackson mused. He had tried dropping a few pick-up lines on you himself, and had received nothing but a stony glare in response. 

“How?” 

Jackson sighed. “Well, there’s nothing we can do. When in trouble, we always turn back to the classics. Leave it all to me.” 

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You watched in horror as the smoothie fell to the floor. You swore that you had handed the cup to Jackson carefully (you were always careful when handling drinks) but it literally flew out of both of your hands and went flying to the right. 

Landing all over Mark’s sweatpants and running shoes. 

You let out an audible gasp and the clattering noise caused your manager to come running. The pink smoothie was rapidly soaking through Mark’s (expensive-looking) white sneakers. You rushed the grab tissues and climbed out from behind the counter to help him dab it up, but they were clearly destroyed. 

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry, I don’t know how that happened. Shit, shit, shit...!” you mumbled, panicking. If there was one thing your manager hated, it was spilling smoothies. It ended up in a waste of ingredients, caused you to have to apologize to the customer and created a ruckus in the shop. 

Mark grabbed the tissues from you and dabbed at the shoes himself. “It’s fine, really, it wasn’t your fault. I’ll handle it, you don’t need to worry-” 

You closed your eyes in horror as you saw your manager approach. You were screwed. You were so, so screwed. You lifted your head hesitantly to see the manager give Mark and Jackson an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry about all this mess. We’ll pay to have your shoes cleaned and we’ll bring you your smoothies on the house for today. Please take your seats.” 

You stayed kneeling on the floor, eyes squeezed shut and praying. 

Your manager glanced at you. “Come see me in my office.” 

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After getting chewed out by your manager and being told that the money for cleaning Mark’s shoes would come out of your paycheck, you trudged back out miserably. It was tough enough to keep this job considering it let you work weekends, and now you were in the manager’s bad books. You spotted Mark waiting outside for you, looking nervous. 

“Hi,” he greeted you hesitantly. 

You forced a smile at him. You hated having to apologize to people but you didn’t have much choice in the matter. “Hi. I’m really sorry about your shoes and everything. I don’t know how I let it slip out of my hands. I’m not usually so clumsy. I hope you’re not too upset.” 

Mark’s eyes widened. “Actually... it was Jackson’s fault. He dropped it on purpose.” 

You blinked at him. “What?” 

“I-I can explain! It wasn’t his fault, he did it for me. I mean, he did it because I didn’t have the guts to. The truth is, I’ve been coming here to buy smoothies for the past three months but I don’t even particularly like the smoothies here.” 

You were appalled. 

Mark panicked at the sight of your expression. You clearly weren’t taking this very well and Mark took a deep breath, trying to find the right words that would express what he was feeling. It was difficult to think with you glaring at him like that, though. “I mean to say... I come and buy smoothies from here because I want to talk to you. And I’ve tried hitting on you a couple of times but you either don’t seem to get or you cut me off, so I just tried something desperate to get your attention. It was a stupid idea. I’m sorry.” 

You stared at the man in front of you, paying attention to him for the first time. You had never really bothered to look at him properly, too absorbed in your irritation with Jackson. But Mark was actually extremely handsome. You took a deep breath. 

“My manager is furious at me because of you.” 

He winced. “I’m so sorry. I’ll talk to him if you want. Can I make it up to you? Maybe I can buy you a cup of coffee or something, if you don’t hate me...” 

You blinked at him for a long moment. 

“Considering you nearly got me fired, the least you can buy me is dinner, don’t you think?” 

Mark grinned slowly. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan.” 

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A/N: This was requested by @galeanthrophyx, I’m so sorry that it took soooo long! Also, I know this reader isn’t exactly an introvert but I sort of based her off the way I usually behave with boys, lol. I hope you still enjoyed it!

Requests are still closed, but I’ll be posting more writing soon!

(Also, super pumped about GOT7 winning two awards at the Gaon Chart Music Awards today, go check out their performance!)

#got7 #got7 drabble #got7 scenarios #got7 mark #mark tuan #got7 angst #got7 fluff

[dfhvn]

A Day In LA With Deafheaven // Stereogum

Loud Love : A Day In LA With Deafheaven The California screamers open up about real life, baby ducks, and 'Ordinary Corrupt Human Love'

Full article by Larry Fitzmaurice via Stereogum

Everyone has to grow up eventually — even ducklings. “Look, dude — the baby ducklings!” Deafheaven guitarist Kerry McCoy stops as we’re mid-conversation, pointing out a plump of web-footed friends on a small rolling pitch alongside the walking path of Los Angeles’ Echo Park.

“I know! They’re getting big,” the band’s howling lead singer George Clarke marvels, as the two stop to briefly ponder the not-quite-grown, no-longer-young fowl squatting and waddling on the grass.

“I saw them the other day, too,” says McCoy.

“They were more yellow before,” Clarke explains with a level of attentiveness that would make one think he raised the ducklings himself.

I’m here to observe what Clarke describes to me as “what a normal day for us is like,” as Deafheaven luxuriate in the relative calm before the busyness of touring and promo that will accompany the release of their fourth album, Ordinary Corrupt Human Love (out July 13 via ANTI-). These days, Clarke and McCoy are sticklers for routine — and as they recount their regular goings-on to me, it’s slightly adorable that these longtime friends’ day-to-day approach bears close similarity: wake up around 7 in the morning, hit the gym, run some errands, meet up in the park for a bit, and watch a movie or an episode of Billions before crashing out. Both spend part of their day caring for others: Clarke for his grandfather who currently lives with him, and McCoy for a few persistently hungry cats. “I have to stay out until 6 or 7 PM, otherwise they meow until they get food,” he mock-complains with a grin.

Earlier in the day, Clarke and I hit up the Echo Lake outpost of crunchy Cali natural-food chain Lessen’s, as he dumps a variety of salad-bar ingredients — corn, beets, kale, shredded cabbage and peppers, and a heaping helping of steamed veggies, if you’re looking to take on the Deafheaven Diet — into a container. We walk over to the sprawling Echo Park and Clarke unfurls a sizable blanket, festooned with the album art for the band’s 2013 star-making LP Sunbather, before stripping to a white tank-top and laying out belly-down to nosh while we chat about the latest mixtape from Oakland rapper All Black. McCoy joins us soon after along with former member Stephen Clark, who stoically sips from a bottle of water and sucks down a few cigs while the trio are quite literally sunbathing under the LA rays.

All it takes is one listen to Ordinary Corrupt Human Love to deduct that this period of respite is well-earned. Since their alluring 2011 debut Roads To Judah, the band’s dark-arts alchemy of death metal’s frigid rush, shoegaze’s impressionistic swarm, and the emotional catharsis of post-rock has somehow only grown more epic with every release. That’s even more true with their latest record, which at times recalls Mellon Collie-era Smashing Pumpkins and Sunny Day Real Estate’s Diary in its ultra-bright melodic sweep. There are female vocals present, courtesy of West Coast occult-rocker Chelsea Wolfe — as well as actual singing, as Clarke shows off a deeper vocal register beyond his signature burned-out bark.

The personal boundary-pushing and overall prettiness of Ordinary Corrupt Human Love doesn’t so much suggest a newer, shinier Deafheaven as it does a natural progression (or a full realization, even) of the genre-blending hard rock sound they’ve spent most of the decade refining. As tempting as it might be to refer to the album as Deafheaven’s “mature” turn, there’s still a youthful passion that courses through it like a lit match dropped into dry brush — but that doesn’t mean the quintet haven’t gone through some serious personal changes in the interim between 2015’s New Bermuda and now (which marks, to date, the longest gap between Deafheaven records).

“We were 24 when Sunbather came out,” Clarke reflects while discussing the intense emotions and personal strain the band’s been through since that record’s release. “We were still sleeping on floors when we were home, but the rest of the time we were on tour with idle hands and free cash.” He pauses for a second and chuckles ruefully. “Some people are smart — but we decided not to be.”

Before their current residence in LA (Clarke and McCoy have lived in the city for about four years now) and Deafheaven’s teeth-cutting Bay Area days, the pair spent their adolescence scrapping about in the central California suburbs of Modesto. “It was normal,” McCoy describes their respective upbringings, “but it’s all relative. I’m sure Bill Gates’ kids have seen some shit, too.” But he’s quick to note that the relative mundanity of their upbringing also made for a normalization of the intolerance the young punks experienced growing up, too: “I’d just accepted that the way the world went was seeing a giant truck with a Confederate flag drive by, calling me a fag.” (In the middle of this parkside recollection, Clarke interrupts to point out something decidedly not normal: a shirtless pedestrian sporting a full-chest Monster energy drink tattoo. “Check out how lit this tattoo is,” he giggles, as we briefly debate its authenticity.)

When he was 15, McCoy’s father took him to a protest against the Iraq War, and he wore a white armband to school afterwards, which resulted in him getting “destroyed” by his classmates. “We recently went to the March For Our Lives,” Clarke mentions, “and I think it’s really cool that kids these days — even if they’re not 100% informed on stuff — are really making an effort to be. Comparatively, there was no one [in high school] thinking about anything else other than the direct narrative you were given in this small town.”

Music had been in both of their lives from an early age — McCoy’s father once worked as a music journalist, and some of Clarke’s earliest memories include leafing through CD booklets with his mother — and the outsider feeling both of them shared only further deepened their sonic interests. “When you’re living in the Central Valley and you’re into ‘alternative’ things, it forces you further into the hole you’re digging for yourself,” Clarke explains. “You’re already a loser with acne, and now you’re painting your nails for a Misfits show,” McCoy follows up with a chuckle. His first band was a punky high school outfit called The Confused, which self-distributed a CD called What The Hell that everyone in his social circle thought “sucked.” Clarke’s inaugural musical foray was in a band called Fear And Faith Alike that, in his words, “was very 2002 metalcore.”

CREDIT: Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

Clarke and McCoy first became friends when the latter saw “this fool” (Clarke) sitting outside in the rain during high school, decked out in fishnet arm sleeves, a Slayer T-shirt, and a white backpack covered with pentagrams and band names scrawled in Bic. They stayed close as the former bounced around high schools, returning to Modesto after barely graduating in San Jose; after a few failed attempts at forming post-high school bands, the two formed Deafheaven in 2009 after McCoy joined Clarke to share a $500/month apartment in the Upper Haight area of San Francisco.

Deafheaven began as a pretty much anonymous project, to the point where the pair created a Facebook page for the band that essentially positioned it as a one-man act. “We didn’t tell anyone we grew up with about it,” Clarke explains. “We knew if we told people it was us, everyone would be like ‘Fuck off.'” In 2010, they recorded a demo with Bay Area producer Jack Shirley for the cost of $500, a sum which Clarke and McCoy (who were scrambling to even make monthly rent) struggled to pay back for six months.

“This man’s patience is endless,” Clarke speaks admirably about Shirley, whom McCoy refers to as “the Ian McKaye of the West Coast” and “like a straight-edge Marine”; he’s produced every Deafheaven record since. “They were broke beyond broke,” recalls Shirley, whose work with Deafheaven has led him to record acts like Wolves In The Throne Room and Jeff Rosenstock. “It wasn’t a huge deal, though. I try to be patient in those situations, and I’m glad I didn’t [let money get in the way], because it would’ve severed my ties with a band that I have a great relationship with now.”

After the demo made the rounds online, Deafheaven expanded to a full-band lineup and signed to Converge frontman Jacob Bannon’s Deathwish Inc. label, who released Roads To Judah and Sunbather — the latter of which received a profile-raising critical response that metal and “heavy” music in general typically doesn’t enjoy. “We went from a band that nobody really gave a fuck about, to … not the world’s biggest band, but a thing!” McCoy exclaims. “I had an apartment, I moved to LA, I got a girlfriend — life got kind of big.”

The success Deafheaven enjoyed following Sunbather’s release was, for a band on their level, a bit dizzying. Their fanbase spanned kindred spirits like Mono and Explosions In The Sky to rapper Danny Brown and Third Eye Blind’s Stephan Jenkins. On the other hand, the band found themselves unwittingly receiving the indie-TMZ treatment after a Swedish blogger spotted them hanging out at the VIP area of Gothenburg’s Way Out West festival with a Sub Pop representative (full disclosure: I was also present for said hang), ginning up a post shortly after speculating about the band’s potential next career moves — a surprise to the folks back at Deathwish. “I felt so bad,” Clarke says in a tone of sincerity about the accidental reveal.

CREDIT: Gari Askew II / Stereogum

Combined with the extensive post-Sunbather touring schedule, the increased attention on Deafheaven — as well as the pressures of writing and recording the band’s next album, which they’d committed to within a tight time frame under new label home ANTI- — was starting to take its toll on everyone involved. “All this touring and great stuff was fun and exciting, but it blows up your personality with regards to things you have when you become middle-class,” McCoy states. “And you have habits that blow up with that.”

As work on New Bermuda progressed, the pressure of following up their big breakthrough began to wear on the band — hard. Shirley states that, as a “habitually sober” person, he didn’t witness any dysfunction in the recording studio; but McCoy describes the ways in which Deafheaven’s members dealt with the situation as “unhealthy,” and he and Clarke started to literally lose sleep over the prospect of what would come next. “I’d wake up in the middle of the night thinking that everyone was mad at me because the record sucked,” says McCoy, “and we’d all have to go back to Whole Foods — everyone was laughing at us.”

Various substances were on-hand and frequently present during this time — a product of bad habits never dropped and exacerbated by the party-hardy temporary lifestyle that touring afforded. “You’d be like, ‘Well, I gotta be in the practice space for five hours today — better bring two 40’s,'” Clarke remembers. “When you’re touring for five years, your body degrades,” explains guitarist Shiv Mehra, who joined the band along with drummer Daniel Tracy while Sunbather was being recorded. “Drinking doesn’t help.”

Clarke recalls a show in Sao Paulo on the band’s first South American tour supporting New Bermuda as a colliding point for the band’s substance use and personal strain. “It should’ve been insane,” he recalls with a touch of regret, “But everyone was backstage burnt that the booze wasn’t there yet.”

“We were all just sitting there staring at our phones, waiting for whoever — or whatever — to show up,” McCoy adds. “Our entire world wants to come backstage and be the guy to hang out with you, and they know there’s a certain way to do that.”

“We were all still bothered by each other from touring,” Clark, who possesses a quiet yet thoughtful demeanor, states. “We didn’t have any time off from each other for years.” Following New Bermuda’s tour cycle — a period of time he says “quite literally ruined his life” — he chose to leave the band and was replaced by current bassist Chris Johnson, but still remains close with everyone.

“I didn’t handle having money well,” Clark asserts with straightforward conviction. “It was so easy to party, and I was never much of a partier — so I was all over the world having fun, with no longevity in mind. It all came crashing down.”

“It was a dark and bad experience,” McCoy states plainly on the time period surrounding New Bermuda. By the end of the album cycle, everyone was exhausted, and the mere act of being in the band had turned into drudgery.

“It stopped being fun,” Clarke states on his view towards the band at that point. “It became a chore.”

I ask if there was ever a point during this period of time in which he thought Deafheaven would cease to exist. Later, when I relay his answer to others in the band, they’re quick to note it was an exaggeration, but it’s a rough reply regardless: “I kind of thought someone would die,” says Clarke. We’re not gonna break up because we don’t have anything else, but something drastic or scary happening was within the realm of possibility. If anything would’ve taken us down, it would’ve been … tragic.”

When I press on if there were any specific close calls that took place, the three demur, nervously laugh, and murmur to themselves, “Maybe — not really,” declining to elaborate. “When you’re fuckin’ around, you’re fuckin’ around,” Clarke says with an uneasy chuckle.

Clarke quickly follows up: “When you have a problem, you have a problem.”

Work on Ordinary Corrupt Human Love informally began in late 2016 around a single piano riff McCoy had been toying around with, but much of the album was written and recorded from October of last year until this past February. Deafheaven camped out in a cluster of Oakland homes and, after an informal jam session during the first day of recording, found that the time off did them good.

“We finally dealt with all the stuff that made New Bermuda so dark — and when we did, we realized that all that other stuff was junk,” McCoy passionately describes. “When we all got in a room together, I was like, ‘This was the juice of life right here.'”

“It was like we’d been holding our breath for three years, finally let it out, took another one, and said ‘Everything’s gonna be OK,'” Clarke adds.

In truth, there was still a ways to go. To this day, Deafheaven’s members describe themselves as living “healthier” than before, but McCoy is the only band member who’s completely sober, a decision he made during recording late last year after an extended struggle with drug addiction. It’s a sensitive topic for him to discuss, and the details he’s willing to offer regarding his path to sobriety are scant — but he makes it unmistakably clear that things could not go on the way they were for much longer.

“I’d come to a point where I was done being out there,” he explains, “And I was willing to try anything to get off it.” McCoy reached out to a friend, who helped put him on the path to recovery; he’s been sober since late 2017. “My favorite thing in the world was to play guitar,” he states, “And for a long time, I forgot that. Ever since I made this decision, my life has gotten immeasurably better.”

Casting aside the past was essential for not just McCoy, but the entirety of Deafheaven to move forwards after the fraught period of time they were trying to leave behind. “I don’t think anyone who worked on New Bermuda wanted to make another record that sounded like New Bermuda,” Clarke states, who goes on to describe Ordinary Corrupt Human Love as the sound of “people enjoying what they’re doing.” If the aesthetic of the new album reflects the emotions of the people who recorded it, then the lyrical content zooms in on the world around them — the splendor and sameness of peoples’ everyday lives.

CREDIT: Gari Askew II / Stereogum

The universal, explicitly humanistic focus was developed after Clarke began collaborating with photographer Nick Steinhardt to, in his words, “photograph people in their natural habitat.” “I told him I didn’t want anything extraordinary — just people in their everyday routine, looking at a snapshot of someone in their day and just drinking it in,” he explains. The album’s cover features an anonymous woman in Los Angeles’ Civic Center area, her scarf blowing in front of her face; the inlay art features a child holding out his hand to his mother as he prepares to cross the street.

McCoy describes the album cover as “a potential alternate version” of the iconic album art for Radiohead’s The Bends, and Clarke cites the tinted-hue portraiture of Belle And Sebastian’s visual art as a parallel — both comparisons serving as reminders that, despite their roots in heavy music, their palettes span far beyond what genre purists might come to expect.

And if Deafheaven’s genre-agnostic approach seemed polarizing around the time of Sunbather, it seems weirdly prescient now. In a way, the 29-year-old McCoy and Clarke are indicative of the landscape-flattening streaming generation, in a good way. Sure, it’s easy to bemoan the age of the algorithm and the fluctuating state of discovery for budding music fans in the digital age. But it’s even easier to forget that discovering “good” music used to possess a distinct social element not far off from joining the football team in high school: Are the indie kids any different than the jocks if they still bristle at people joining their lunch table?

For Deafheaven’s and younger generations, discovering new music is easier than ever, and if you’re willing to turn discovery into creativity as they have been, the possibilities are endless. And anyway, even though Deafheaven’s earlier work was sometimes overshadowed by the band’s perpetual and ineffective battle with the metal scene, the band’s members have since learned to hang with the genre misconceptions. “My girlfriend sent me a screenshot about how ‘Honeycomb’ has a punk section — that’s textbook Oasis!” McCoy says with an easygoing laugh that speaks to a greater truth when it comes to getting older. Sometimes it’s easier to just let old grudges go.

Despite the cloudy forecast, it’s a bit brighter of a day than we’re expecting. With the threat of sunburn fast approaching, we pack up the blanket, take a leisurely walk around the park, and head to the 826 Time Travel Mart. The Mart’s a funky Sunset Blvd. spot funded by the Dave Eggers-founded nonprofit 826, featuring arch, kitschy items ranging from giant dinosaur eggs to a powdered concoction called “robot milk” — but McCoy’s less invested in the temporally-out-of-whack wares on display than he is in the tutoring courses being offered in the next room of the nonprofit-funded space.

An employee explains the programs offered as McCoy listens intently, and when Clarke returns from grabbing a coffee nearby he does similarly. At first blush, the thoughtfulness and social investment that the pair show during my time with them might seem too fitting of a narrative for a band trying to straighten up and fly right — but such character traits often come with growing up, too.

“Nikki Sixx was 27 when shit got really bad and he tried to clean up for the first time,” Clarke points out as our time comes to a close, before McCoy has to go check on the cats and Clarke’s grandfather needs help getting his computer fixed. “We reached that age too. We want to take what we do seriously and have a career — and to eliminate the things that get in the way of that. If you don’t die at 27, you can do a lotof shit.”

#Deafheaven #Stereogum

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