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When your enrichment’s too scary…..

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I have never seen an animal sleep in such a cursed way what

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happy wasp wednesday! here’s my bugsona, me but a bug

he’s a northern paper wasp, or Polistes fuscatus.

#bugs

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small bird was VERY offended that I picked him up off the sidewalk like a potato chip. don't fall asleep on the sidewalk then

#oh i was wondering about that when i reblogged it the first time #bless #bugs

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god i love the blue catfish so much. kind of a terrifying superpredator honestly. they like living in muddy water so their eyesight is dogshit, but they've got these huge barbels around their face to feel around, and their whole body is covered in almost two hundred thousand tastebuds to figure out exactly where their prey is, and they've got a special adipose fin to be extra tuned-in to water currents/pressure, and they have super keen senses of hearing at really low AND high frequencies, and they ALSO have a deeply forked tail to decrease drag so they can just cruise around and gulp down literally whatever they want, including other catfish, even in like zero-visibility water where every other animal is basically blind. and they get so fucking stupid huge with this technique that nothing can grab them because they're as big as a person. and if an eagle or something does grab one before it's gotten big enough to be eagle-proof, the catfish has fucking POISON KNIVES on its fins to not only stab things but also envenomate them in the process

you may not like it, but THIS is what peak performance looks like

#need to integrate this guy into my favorites

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people in okami when a wolf wanders into their town: oh hello doggy…what a majestic lovely coat you have…are you here to do some shopping for your master?…would you like something to eat?…hmm something seems unique about you…were you perhaps sent by the gods?…oh silly me, rambling on while talking to a wolf…

people in twilight princess when a wolf wanders into their town: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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when u use cgi blood u r literally depriving ur horror actors of enrichment which is essential to their health

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wine for idiots

WHITE WINE

if you want to make a wine person very unhappy, say that a white wine they like "is giving me a little green bell pepper?"

RED WINE

honestly the only two questions you need to start credibly talking about red wine are "does it taste like red fruits (strawberry/cherry/raspberry) or black fruits (blackberry/plum)?" and "does it taste oaky (i.e. gently sweet and earthy in a way youd associate with coffee or chocolate or warming spices)

if its a fancy dry wine (not a dessert wine, not port, manischewitz or markovic) dont say "sweet," say "juicy"

FIZZY WINE

if its red and fizzy its probably a lambrusco

if youre drinking champagne talk about the "minerality," even chalk notes if youre feeling gutsy. you dont have to taste it just say it

ORANGE WINE

this is very trendy. youre gonna want to talk about its "funkiness." if you use the term "gym socks" at the right time you will get a round of laughs or at least knowing nods. if you see shmutz in the bottom dont worry about it.

MISC

if you want a wine person to talk for a while and not ask you any questions just ask them how they feel about natural wine. theyll go on for a little and you can decide to agree or disagree based on how hot they are

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*stumbles out of a building covered in blood* i failed a social interaction .

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god created man to be penetrated

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Ireland is the only country in Europe

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having an opinion on philosophy makes you a philosopher. even if you think philosophy is stupid and pointless, THAT’S A PHILOSOPHY. you can’t escape

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When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

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If you dare come at me about banning straws, I will throw you into the sun cannon. I’m disabled, I’m crippled, I need disposable plastic straws, and all those pricey ridiculous alternatives aren’t working as well. Plastic straws were invented for the disabled.

Way to shit all over a vital access need because you think straws are worse than corporate greed.

We all care about the turtles, the seals, the oceans, obviously. Notice how the easiest thing to yell about was something that would barely affect anything but appealed heavily to emotional discourse.

The disabled community is huge, and it can be joined by anyone. Most of those As Seen On TV products were invented for us. Society still mocks us and ignores us, and often outright harms us in multiple ways.

Communicate better. Listen better. But stop putting us out in the cold because you are inconvenienced by our simplest needs.

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looks at you