#gonna take friends advice and if i do post it ill put it under a mature content warning.. just in case

[cambriancutie]

working

#its a redraw:) #wip #idk if ill post the full thing bc it has (non sexual) nudity #like. barbie doll anatomy #which ive posted before and it was fine but this has ass in it and i think id get in trouble #gonna take friends advice and if i do post it ill put it under a mature content warning.. just in case

[alteredpupil]

PICK A CARD - GENERAL

My first post… enjoy the last day of 2022.

Pick a pile from 1-4.

(Pictures credit unknown)

Pile 1:

I feel like this pile goes through phases of feeling motivated and then almost utterly hopeless, maybe even end up spending the whole day in bed due to overthinking… some of you might even be under or overeating due to this. I’m getting at this time it’s very important to take care of your mental health because it might be affecting your guts or nervous system… you can reach burnout as well. Some of you might’ve even recently been in a manic state almost, ups and downs, crashing hard. This is my pile that might have high hopes and dreams, you might already romanticize your life or grew up thinking like that, maybe even was a maladaptive daydreamer… but I’m getting due to trauma, low self esteem, or being in the wrong environment and/or crowd you might like I said go back to feeling utterly hopeless. I’m getting a vision of somebody at a party… it’s almost like everybody sees the spark and potential in them and they’re standing somewhere alone downing a bottle or smoking. Pile 1 I’m getting you might make people around you feel hopeful or give them this “spark” where they see life in its beauty and color once again while people are you make you feel hopeless, so you could have a lot of energy vampires or “lose souls” around you and I’m getting it’s draining to you. I’m getting another vision of you guys sitting on a bed… the scene makes me feel exhausted, like something bad just happened or I just reminisced on the past, maybe cried my eyes out and then just lay there numb unable to “care” to do anything. The advice for you is to do something new in a new environment, right now you need that fresh perspective but it has to be from a new experience pile 1, you’re not gonna get that refreshing feeling from being in that same room or around those same people and for some of you I heard “trap house” so you might be staying in a trap house… and I’m getting the message of if this is the case these are probably acquaintance or friends.. not family. Pile 1 I’m also getting somebody around you that you can put your trust in but you seem to be pushing them away… maybe try going to them for advice or doing a activity together, they’ll be reaching out soon so you’ll know who it is, they might have something to tell you rather than a casual conversation. This conversation might make you emotional? It could be a case of getting emotional and it doesn’t even have anything to do with what you’re getting emotional over. Last hint about this person is they like the color red. You’re going to be okay not only due to your strength and ability to regenerate but because I see you always had a sense of self preservation that protects you… even when you’re being reckless I’m hearing! Lol. This might be my witchy pile as well. Last message because I didn’t mean to make it this long is you give off a manic pixie girl vibe off to a-lot of people. Extra: feeling abandoned, spending birthday alone vibes, crying till you can’t no more, charms, shaking hands, party, intent, New Years kiss, sports, guitar, running, coffee shop, new iPad??, shaking hands with the devil, therapist, weed, sex, city, cleanse, mental illness.

Pile 2:

Now i usually encourage people not to think of the past but pile 2 I’m getting you need to dig deep and remember memories and times where you were at your most powerful and empowered. You need to remember what that feels like and embody that energy, it’s almost like somewhere along the way you let somebody strip you of your identity I’m hearing or “distract” you from who you are?? I’m also getting some of you might’ve felt like a poser regarding something you did majority of your life or at a young age. Pile 2 do you have people toying with your mind or putting you down and feeding you negative ideologies about yourself? If so, please cut that bullshit off now. You deserve so much better, I gotta remind this pile to not settle for less. Also I’m getting that you might downplay your energy a lot to make people around you more comfortable and I’m gonna have to ask you to cut that off as well (maybe some of you have Scorpio/Plutonian/Martian energy here, intense and uncomfortable). I also think some of you almost feel insulted reading this pile because you got this hard exterior and might even be in denial, “I would never let somebody take away who I am or toy with me”, I understand that I really do but I think you sometimes do so for the comfort or sake of others because it almost seems like the easy route or not having to deal with others. I’m only mentioning this because the themes popping up here are almost things that you might think only “weak” people deal with and this pile energy is very fierce & out there, definitely not the type to back down from a fight. This is because you’re the type that likes to deal with your shit alone pile 2, this is a admirable trait but I’m everybody needs a community. I’m also getting your soul family and future community will be stronger than ever, almost like a pact, literally. Spirit wanted some of you to know that because you might’ve gotten so use to doing this alone you accepted this is just how life is meant to be but that’s not true. Get out there and be yourself pile 2 so you can attract the right people for you, this might not be immediate but you could end up in a certain environment, wether a job or a party or college “group” I’m hearing that could put you around the people you’re suppose to be working with in this lifetime. Another thing is scripting right now will do wonders for you when it comes to manifesting, check the alignments and especially where mercury is transiting in your chart because I’m seeing this is the most powerful manifesting technique at this time. Some of you will be going home to visit or moving out from where you currently live, if that doesn’t resonate then you will be visiting a old hometown or just reconnecting with your origins. Extra: goth, assassin, creatures, swimming in the deep end, activist, guns, flowers, bikes, pretty eyes, tea, ocean, fashion industry, travel, musician, warmth.

Pile 3:

For this pile I’m getting a lighter energy! This might be my dualistic people, people might say you have two sides to you… are you a Gemini or Pisces pile 3? Just like pile 1 I’m getting people view you in a dreamy manner… you seem different to a lot of people and this might make them curious about you or wanna learn from you. You might even be in a environment opposite to you, wether this is cultural beliefs or race or gender… something about you stands out, this could even just be your personality. You might even have heavy Jupiterian/Sagittarius energy in your chart. I see you don’t dwell over things for too long and if you do, it damn sure doesn’t show. I don’t blame people for wanting to learn off of you because I get one of the things you constantly wanna do is learn or find a way to help yourself out. You might even consume too much information at once and overwhelm yourself. This is my thinkers pile! (Makes sense I said Gemini as that’s mercurial energy). Despite you being so logical I see you have big dreams pile 3, for some of you in particular you got a certain long term goal or one that takes a long time, this could be career related. Spirit wants you to know this is something you will accomplish within this lifetime but the timeline with which you do depends on you. The longer you doubt yourself or waste time participating in activities that move you further from your goal the longer it will take. I’m hearing take a step forward and you will see signs to guide you to the next step. I’m also hearing you might feel scattered this time around, the holidays and a new year might have you anxious about the future or simply overwhelmed. You could possibly even be trying to balance out multiple plans or coming to a final decision. I’m also picking up on the energy of somebody that misses you and been overthinking about you, this could be vise versa. This is either a relationship from the past or something you’ll be yet to experience. This person might be toxic and fuck with your intuition or pull you away from your spirituality but it was destined to happen. Through this person I’m seeing you will experience things you couldn’t have without them (or this already happened) and you will meet & interact with people that will take you through the next phase in life. Maybe literally or trigger this awakening or passion within you. I’m also getting this partnership this will make you more brave & confident… this is going to bring you a lot of emotional fulfillment & material abundance. This is the pile I feel like already knows what’s going on but maybe stuck in some sort of rut, you might be doing things but you feel it doesn’t align with your life purpose… where you’re going is changing all of that. I’m getting to focus on the present pile 3 and you will get confirmation when you’re on the right path or not, trust your gut. You’re intuition is strong and your power is felt by those around you. I’m also getting you should start doing tarot readings so if you been contemplating this is your sign! This could also be a future profession for you. Your word is powerful pile 3, be careful what you say or affirm. You might even be able to seduce people with your voice… can you sing pile 3? Singing will also be very healing to you at this time.

Pile 4:

Some of you might be going through addiction pile 4… it’s interesting because you guys I heard are alchemist and breadwinners, just like this. You might use drugs to cope with sadness & stress. But I’m also getting for a few of you somebody else can be putting some type of spell on you or if you don’t think anybody would go that far maybe just sending you evil eye. Im getting 2 scenarios - this is either a immature fire sign (or just aggressive, lustful, action oriented, impulsive) masculine that’s attempting to put love spells on you or this might be a 3rd party situation (your current spouse ex, or ex’s ex, or ex’s current partner, possibly their family) However I feel like you’re protected from this it’s just draining your energy and you might not be on your protection like you usually are. Take some cleansing baths please pile 4! I’m also getting changing your diet right now would help you physically & mentally in a immense way. If you’re being over generous with your money or material please cut that out as well because I see you could’ve progressed past where you are right now if it wasn’t for leeches around you. I would just keep an eye for anybody trying to cause you a tower moment - or this could be a tower moment that already happened and somebody is gossiping/running their mouth. I wouldn’t give it too much attention pile 4. I feel like you’re somebody that’s too concerned with other shit to let something like this bother you too much, maybe you’re just curious. I’m also seeing a lot of you might have a resting bitch face or being very unimpressed with people lol. Another thing that came up I wanna touch on before I forget (because for some reasons your messages are coming up fast and scattered) is that you might had a hard time concentrating, are you overthinking? Do you possibly have adhd? Are you spending more time on your phone then you should? I think this is also part of the reason you could be encouraged to go on that clean eating diet pile 4, it might be to rebuild your discipline back in life. Sometimes I feel like this pile may feel they’re “drifting with the wind”. You guys might be very sarcastic or snappy but I see it comes from a place of being fed up with society and just tired of the world in general and for that I’m sorry pile 4, I wanna give you a hug. Spirit wants to assure you that nothing people throw your way out of malice can hurt you if you don’t let it. You’re being encouraged to find what you love again in life and what makes you feel good about waking up everyday again. If you have responsibilities you gotta tend to that you don’t enjoy, don’t forget to take that time out for yourself! You guys might overwork yourself or overextend and don’t have time for your own projects. You could be traveling alot in 2023 so that’s a plus pile 4. Keep working on self love and self care, you’re meant to be more selfish right now and even for the next whole year. If you been feeling that energy this is your go! Your spirit team is proud of you and you will be getting rewarded heavily in 2023, you will be serene and at peace with yourself and whatever your doing. This pile is going to find balance which is beautiful. Last message is about you holding a lot of secrets and even magic I’m hearing, so take that how you will.

#tarot reading #tarot #pick a card #pick a pile

[edsbacktattoo]

☼ new positivity game ☼ tag your fave people on this website and say something nice about each of them ❥

HIII ANON! yes yes i love to spread love and positivity

i’ve had this sitting in my inbox for a couple of days until i wasn’t working and/or exhausted so now it’s got my full attention. time to dive right the fuck in. get ready to be loved on folks

(i just got halfway through this post and realised how long it’s gonna be lmfao whoops. all the compliments are under the cut ♥️ i have a whole lot of love to give.)

i’m gonna start this with @tisziny. everyone has to know by now how much they mean to me. so supportive and kind and wonderful. always the first person in line to offer help or advice, or the first to say something nice. silly and hilarious, but so warm and open as well. my day wouldn’t be complete without talking to them now. and i wouldn’t have gotten this far in the fic writing scene without their unrestrained support and enthusiasm. i owe them a great debt (it’s my heart and they already have it). my sweetest cheese ♥️

@skysofrey do NOT. get me started on Kaitlin. i will genuinely cry. i will weep. she’s so funny and sweet and nice and pretty. and so unabashedly supportive and so fuckin’ funny. oh my god. do you ever just th…. surjwbueeh just think about your friends (or your wife 6 times over) and hehdiw… idiewj start weeping????? she’s so cool. like she’s way out of my league but we’re gonna set the world record for most times married you watch. i’ll show you all

@blakbonnet ohggg. Meow. you’re so so funny and so evil to me. but i forgive you because i love you so dearly. so creative and talented and wonderful. ill even overlook the beard situation for you. we can’t all be perfect (like me) but you come pretty damn close. can’t wait to settle down in a mansion and adopt like 7 dogs with you love 💕

@stedebonnets ARA!!!!!! everyone look. ara without a word of exaggeration is one of THEE NICEST people I have ever had the absolute pleasure of knowing. puts everyone else first, cares so so much about the people around her. will sometimes just drop into my inbox and say the sweetest most genuine thing and it reminds me that there is in fact goodness on this barren and hideous planet. the world would be a kinder place if there were more people like Ara around. it’s you me and Arthur against the world Ara and we’re gonna MAKE IT!!!!

@bunnyandthejets Bun. ougyggghh it’s Bun Time. I love you forever and ever and ever. unbelievably hilarious and so so kind. every time i see you in my notifs or in my inbox my heart does a whole song and dance. you’ve made me laugh more times than I can count and I am so so grateful for your endless support. if Big John was real you’d be his favourite <3

@vampirebutterflies ASTER!!! my favourite queer in crime!!! absolute darling angel from heaven. still waiting for our planetarium date babe. the way i kept seeing you being fuckin hilarious and sexy in my notes and went THATS IT!!!!!!! WE HAVE TO BE FRIENDS FOREVER and then made a blood pact with you. to the grave babe mwah <3

@epersonae so so kind and so supportive and delightful. been here since day one, cheering me on and being so open and sincere. there are few in the world as good and as kind as you. such a skilled and thoughtful writer as well!!! writes some of the most wonderful fic I’ve ever read and if you’re not here for Hungry for love, ready to drown what are you even doing

@xoxoemynn ohghhhh you’re just so full of love marianne. so full of love and light and beans and i am obsessed with you. so friendly and thoughtful and so NICE!!!! i dunno what we did to deserve you for real. it takes practice to be as sweet as you are and my friend you are a master of your craft <3

@blackbeardskneebrace miles. my beloved angel miles. you’re so so skilled (one of the most impressive artists on All Of The Internet) and so thoughtful and sweet and sincere. you’re way too cool and funny and smart for me but here we are. i would fight god for you bud. i’d win btw i have insane person rage <3

@leatherdaddyteach oh MANNNN don’t get me started on Joey. sexiest most wonderful mfer in these whole entire woods. hilarious and kind with also the most elite taste in music (not even my opinion that’s just objective fact babe mwah) also we are kissing right on the mouth. i’d give you all my teeth if i could. like i don’t need them babe they’re yours now

@chocolatepot cassidy is one of those people who are just effortlessly kind and thoughtful. so ready to share everyone’s creative endeavours and also persists in being an absolutely incredible writer. i’ve said it once i’ll say it again but More Nicer is one of my favourite one shots. it’s so so cute and i think about it every day.

@wearfinethingsalltoowell Joy my beloved. so nice and thoughtful and sweet. a fellow olu enjoyer to the maximum and a fellow Team Bared Until We Die. We got each other’s backs out here in the trenches. i forgive you for all the times your angst posts have made me cry <3 (no i don’t i hold a grudge. think of my organs)

@nofeelingisfinall Zed my darling my dear my angel. you’re so sexy and smart and kind and 💍 what if we smooch forever. you make my heart go so fast (bc i’m in love with you). another person with yummy delicious music taste and also your web weavings make me cry and weep. like i love you why must you hurt me. i just want peace

@sassygwaine adrian you are so so nice and sweet. like when i picture you i picture a forest that’s full of greenery and life after a little bit of rain ya know? that’s the kind of person you are. so full of love and sincerity and also you’re hilarious and smart and always correct. i’m building us a blanket fort. the door’s the blue cushion

@flightoftheconnie fr you’re way too cool for me. i know this down to my bones. but idc, you me and kaitlin are getting married come spring. let’s run away together and hijack some cars and rob some banks and then make out. i’ll kill all your enemies for you send me a list of names and it’ll be done. mwah <3

@snake-snack-stede oh man. outtghhffg man. Olivia. you’re seriously one of the most creative and delightful people on this shit-hole app. every single post you make is pure gold. don’t get me started on your tags. like being that effortlessly funny is such a skill and you’ve mastered it. but also you are so so kind and sweet too. i’m convinced you could rule the world and i think you’d do it perfectly. i have a huge crush on you btw can you tell?

@jellybeanium124 another person with a godly sense of humour. how dare you all be funnier than me. nina you’re so nice and also you’ve never been wrong ever. all of your takes are objectively correct. how does it feel being cooler and sexier than the rest of us?

@awkward-fallen-angel ohhh heather you’re so sweet!!! and super creative as well!!! always super happy to have a little chat you’re always so enthusiastic and excited about the things you love and care about. so much love for you my dear friend

@sherlockig hi alexz!!!! a stede bonnet lover first and a person second. you’re such an absolute delight, and you’re always cheering on and supporting your friends which i really admire. certified hot as well. come here i gotta give you a smooch

@cheersmequeers kate!!! hi hi!!! you’re so genuine and fun and nice, and i’m always so so happy to see you in my notifs. you’ve got so much love in your heart and i think that’s beautiful. a thousand smooches for you <3

if i've forgotten anyone (and I'm sure I probably have) then pls punch me in the head :) put me straight in the bin fr. just know that even if you aren't on this list that I am very in love with you and I think we should fuck nasty <3

#i love you all very much <3 #i'm sure i was talking to kaitlin about this the other day (ofc i was i always wanna talk to my wife) #about how the silly gay pirate show gave me more love and joy and friendship than i've ever had before #isn't that so wonderful #life is fucking weird #ask #anon #💕✨

[reanimationstation]

Do you have any headcanons for new batdr characters? (Audrey,toon Bendy etc?)

boy do i! admittedly i haven't rotated audrey as much as i shouldve since i played batdr but in my defense ive been thinking about ben

it got long so under the cut

audrey:

i think it'd be sweet if she started to regard henry as her other father. idk if anyone has ever told her that her dad def had a crush on him but i feel like she'd still find a good mentor in him. at least someone who will listen to her.

she keeps on seeing boris around the studio and really wants to meet him but hasnt had a good excuse to (she also wants to test out her theory that all borises like to be pet like tom was)

i think that in the new cycles/iterations she should be able to figure out how to change peoples designs. like how the lost ones got more details in batdr as opposed to batim? maybe give searchers the ability to talk and all that. legs even. just to improve quality of life down there

idk what the hell happened at the end of the game but im gonna choose to ignore how it seems like she betrayed the ink demon after he trusts her because :(

ben:

baby boy. baby

yes hes still the ink demon even post game dont look at me. i. look, im taking this as a (BOOK ACCURATE) jekyll and hyde situation. same person, he just acts differently based on what society expects of him. but he didnt want to be a monster, he was forced to become one because thats what his creator (joey) thought of him as (like frankenstein!). he contains multitudes

so post game, i think he can finally start to slowly put down those walls and act as a middle ground between both extremes. he can heal, he can learn how to trust again.

that being said i think he should still be able to transform into ink demon form if he felt like it. as a treat.

not a headcanon but i forgive him, personally. if you were treated like a monster your whole life wouldn't you be ANGRY? he's done nothing wrong besides all the atrocities

i have a lot of feelings about him as you can see

autistic. i will not be elaborating

betty:

i think she should unionize post game

she'd still be audrey's housekeeper cause she likes the work but she has dental now

has weekly tea with malice, allison, heidi, and an honorary porter (and audrey when shes there) to exchange gossip

keepers:

i want them dead

poor norman was probably dissected to be studied to make them

idk if they have human in them or if theyre purely mechanical but it's probably old gent workers

i usually respect mad scientists but i hate them so much

should be killable in game change my mind

porter:

i think he got the rope after allison gave him the advice to always carry rope

i like to think he's from the heavenly toys department... probably likes to tinker and make new toys

heidi:

queen

accidentally overhears a lot of gossip when shes hiding

wears a bow because she thought it looked cute on bendy and therefore she wanted one.

doesnt hate the ink demon because when he appears its just impromptu hide and seek (if you're caught you die :D!)

archie carter

i dont actually have any interesting headcanons for him but a really funny story is that i was with my friend while she was playing and we got to his log and we both were like wow he has such a nice voice tf fav background character?? and two days later i found out it was superhorrorbro mike and i was mortified because i WATCH his videos and i didn't recognize his voice 😭 it was so embarrassing

still my favorite new background character (who has a log)

wilson:

i also dont have any headcanons for him but i hate him and i hate that audrey was siding with him for some of the game even AFTER learning about how the keepers tortured ben and augh ill stop talking

#batdr #bendy and the dark revival #victors internal monologue #this got long! oops

[fruitsilly]

Anyone have any advice, I feel like shit about this one situation irl (explained under the cut). I also just need to vent but I'd really appreciate advice bc it's starting to really stress me out.

Reader discretion is advised as this is some pretty heavy stuff. Not sure there's anything I can put a content warning on, sorry.

🌷

Okay, so I have two friends who I'll call V and A. I met V on the first day of fresher's week at uni. On the second or third day of fresher's week, V introduced me to her partner, A, and I got on with both of them really well and seemed like a really happy couple.

However, last month, they had a really tough breakup. I don't know the details of what happened, but V initiated the breakup because of, from what I can gather, A's behaviour which lead to an argument.

A has their own issues related to trauma and mental illness, which isn't an excuse but it's an explanation, and I really empathise with A in this because I've been in a similar situation.

A feels extremely hurt by V; they've vocalised several times that their relationship with V was the first one where they genuinely felt valued as a person, and now they feel like they've been (and I quote) "used as a trans person by a cis person to explore their orientation."

As a fellow trans person, I know this is an incredibly shitty move, and I don't think A would say this without reason. But, V just isn't the type of person who would do this on purpose.

I want to be, but I don't feel like I can be friends with both of them right now. I really don't wanna take sides and I appreciate them both. I just wish they could communicate better. All of this could've been avoided if better communication had happened. I just want them to go back to how they were, or at least not as hateful about each other as they are currently.

This whole thing now makes me not want to exist anymore. I'm already stressed about a lot of other things in my life rn, but A just posted a rant about V on their Instagram story and it was pretty heavy loaded. I'm closer to V, but if I side with her I feel like I'll hurt A and that's the last thing they need rn - a fellow trans person siding with a cis person who traumatised them. I do just feel weird that I'm still talking to V and enjoying being friends with her when I'm still following her ex on Instagram who's just angry vented about her on their story.

Ugh I hate everything about this I just want everything to be fine. I'm gonna finish my dinner and hot chocolate then go to bed and probably cry a lot. Fucking hell.

#sorry i just really needed to get this off my chest #please please PLEASE if anyone has ANY advice AT ALL. im begging at this point #i just wanna Not be stressed about Something in my life #and in comparison this is the least stressful/easiest to sort out (and that's SAYING SOMETHING. FUCK) #negative cw #ask to tag

[user98347501938475]

what a fun weekend i am currently having. friday morning woke up to no cuddles and steve on his phone he couldnt even look up to say good morning. then i made the mistake of kicking his laundry basket out of my way in the hallway twice so that means i deserve to get some nasty text messages at 6am. great way to start my day having to apologize, again, with no apology to me for anything, for "already ruining his day" and his reply, "you ruin most of em."

this text thread caused me to go into another spiral of depression, suicidal ideation, that i called my mom later that night and ask her to take me to the hospital because i wanted to hurt myself or go get blackout drunk. 22 days sober today btw woohoo!

so after being given the silent treatment all day, i am sitting crying in the office and steve took himself out to sushi, arcade, and movie date. not a care in the world that i said i was feeling suicidal and wanted to kill myself. but my mistake i made the comment you win and all i get in response is doesnt feel like winning. jesus fucking christ your wife is telling you she wants to end her life you dont give a fuck. honestly that was it for me. i dont think any amount of counseling will save this shit show.

for context when steve threatened to take his life early on in our relationship, i was threatening to call the police i was freaking out banging on his door and took all the fucking shoelaces out of his shoes because he said he had just tried to hang himself in his closet. then i stayed with him to make sure he wasnt going to do anything. and this same man doesnt even ask or care where i will be when i tell him ill be gone for three days, a 72 hour hold possibly.

so my mom and the dr said i would be okay to go home and be under supervision for the night LMAO still gonna wanna die tomorrow but okay cool. literally unless you have active cuts or say im going to go home and kill myself they wont give you any help. and just a thought. people who want to die, me specifically, is embarassed that i am such a failure at life that youre going to make me admit to you that i dont want to be here out loud and then be told youre okay go home. i just dont understand how there is no mental help for anyone living in this shithole society.

my future will be divorced and living in a little shitty apartment by myself and never leave and never make any new friendships or relationships because i cannot make friends and date. i have way too much fucking trauma. i mean my husband doesnt care if i die and my only friend, a gay man, but man none the less, cant even drive home to be with me because hes at his moms house getting drunk,(( his mom who wouldnt move her fat ass to bail him out)) .has been using me as a gooddamn vent stress doll because he was going to be arrested and i told him he would be arrested he didnt listen to me or take any of my advice. this friend needs a whole post of his own. but anyway, guess who was taking care of his loud annoying untrained chiuaua until fucking midnight and driving to lake elsinore to get your truck and then go to the bail bonds place, all of which was extremely stressing and then he gets out keeps me up until 2 am to tell me all about how horrible it was, congratulations welcome to the club of being arrested, maybe just maybe you should have listened to your "friend" when she told you how horrible it would be. but youre a fucking moron and thought the cops woould be NICE to you wtaf.

i dont even have the energy or like xmas spirit to put up my tree. i sure as fuck dont want to celebrate the holiday with steve. he cant even understand that i wanted to visit his family just not during the holiday hysteria. so what does steve do? he buys us $2000 worth of plane tickets to leave DEC 23 and return the 27. UHM WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. i guess you heard me but just dont fucking care what i want ever. or his concern for my arthritus and nausea he doesnt fucking care. HIS family is more important than his wife, obviously how could i be so stupid. i will never be anyone prioirty i have to make myself the priority. and he was shady as fuck acting like i thought we were on the same page...... yeah maybe buit we're reading two spearate fucking books dude. idfk how you could think my wife said she doesnt want to travel during the holidays means leave 2 fucking days before christmas.

so now hes going by himself and leaving the day after christmas at noon and then returning NEW YEARS EVE at ELEVEN FUCKING THIRTY AT NIGHT. boy better get a uber home. dont even fucking ask me to drive to LAX or JWA or wherever the fuck you land because you havent even told me which airline you booked, he probably doesnt even know. the way he buys plane tickewts its just whats cheapest on the day i wanna go idgaf about how horrible the time or airline is. but yeah glad that our first new years as a couple, married as well, that we could have had a new years kiss. but you planned to land on new years eve. he just doesnt think or care about anything i care or think about. we are so fucking wrong for each other.

im so glad i can write here since i only get therapy once a week and steve said he doesnt want to hear me "trauma dumping" or if hes already heard the story he doesnt want to hear it again. thank goodness for the void of internet.

[imbricare]

The results of this house quiz are tremendously well-written – taking both Gryffindor and Slytherin profiles into account, it becomes clear why the Sorting Hat hesitated between these two houses for Harry.

I'll post the full profiles below (with quotes pertinent to Harry highlighted in bold), and then dive into a quick analysis of Harry's Gryffindor and Slytherin traits in a second post because it's gonna be long haha!

Gryffindor & Slytherin profiles under the cut:

Slytherin

Slytherins are linked to identity, changing themselves to meet their needs and the wants of the world around them. They have specific people that are Theirs, and their circle of Actual Trust may be rather small, even if their friend/associates/resources group is a wide network.

Slytherins are tied to wanting, craving, and not necessarily in a bad way or in a way that’s “ambition”. Slytherins are a house made up of people who want something or someone or some goal desperately or are made up of a myriad of little wants, but also struggle with the idea of worth and whether or not they have done enough to deserve the things they want. Sometimes, these wants are secret. Slytherins are often caught up in this wanting and this worth, and cannot see that they are already loved, completely and wholly, for who they are.

When you care for someone you care for them with all of you, you are inherently a protective house like hufflepuffs for those that you care about most, and for all your wanting so so so many of you are beautiful creators (the worlds and story ideas slytherins have just roaming around in their brains?? amazing!).

My advice to slytherins, if I can give some without being asked hahaha oops, is to recognize that for all the shapeshifting of the self you do, you can be exactly who you want to be, if you just give yourself permission. Who would you be in a dark room without any mirrors? How would you dance? How would you dress, for just yourself? Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to change your life tomorrow. It just means, sometimes, starting in little ways, take back a little bit of ground from the world. “This part is me. This part is mine. You aren’t allowed to have it.”

It can be quiet. But you are worth so much, and you are yours. You are just as much of a person as anyone else, and have already earned love, because you never had to earn it in the first place.

Gryffindor

Gryffindors believe in innate worth, innate characteristics, sort of your personality is that way because That Is Who You Are. Similar to Hufflepuffs in this way, anti-slytherin experience haha.

Gryffindors, unlike Hufflepuffs, are an external versus internal change maker. Because of this, they are often more broadly idealistic than hufflepuffs (think range, although they both hold their core values very deeply, hufflepuffs are on a smaller, more condensed scale whereas gryffs will spread themselves thinner. Puffs do not have to change the world, rather they create a Home in which to put their world into, whereas a lot of Gryffindors struggle with feeling that they aren’t doing Enough, not Enough good, not Enough love. That the failures of the world are in part because they haven’t done enough to help personally).

Gryffindors are very solid with their identity. While slytherins/ravenclaws will see their body/their reflection in a mirror, a scientific fact of life or something they wish they could/can change and shape, Gryffindors (with some exceptions for gender, trauma, and mental illness) tend to be confused that there are answers other than “I see myself in the mirror.”

However, Gryffs can be performative, because while they see themselves, they need to be told that they are going in the right direction, they need to be loved, they need to help. Gryffindors will lose themselves a bit in an empty room, in isolation, moreso than hufflepuffs or ravenclaws.

They create and change the world around them FOR the world around them, and so the world can look at them and say “okay, you did it, its okay now.” In this way, they are closest to slytherins, seeking validation, seeking a legacy, even though they may not even do it/realize its for themselves. They do good, or they try to, based on how they have defined it for themselves.

They will care for you with all of them, if you earn it. They will hold you. But the voice in their head says “am I sure that this is what good looks like. Am I sure that this is enough.”

From your friendly neighborhood Hufflepuff, sometimes doing what you need to take care and save yourself is the best thing for the world. Maybe cook something, have a lil dance party. You are an important part of the world. Start small, and love that part the most. You can add on from there c:

Source

Now head over to this post to read a quick analysis of how this (especially the bolded parts) apply to Harry!

#OOC. #HARRY / META.

[wizkiddx]

work with me

this is for @worldoftom 'lolbrosgetsicktoo' challenge event thing - go check it out bcos lots of much better writers have got involved too✨! I'm v new to these things but I tried :) the prompt was: 'would you quit whining and just get in the bath' . (also look at me acc posting sort of regularly, who'd of thought?!?!)

warnings: sickness / fever (more dramatic than it needs to be) / LOTS of medical inaccuracies

summary: when tom doesn't take advice and ends up very ill, very far from home, there's one person whose stuck dealing with it

“Please Tom… I need you to work with me!”

It wasn’t his fault he was being a complete nightmare, though your patience was wearing off somewhat.

For context, you were in Morocco, where he had been filming part of his next film, which only made trying to take care of him that bit harder.

Everyone got ill sometimes. It wasn’t his fault.

That was the mantra ringing through your head, even if you had a more challenging time believing it. Tom wasn’t stupid, as much as he liked to joke about it. HOWEVER, what he was less good at was heeding warnings. He was a white boy in Morrocco; the health and safety briefing had literally been aimed at him. Had he taken the advice not to eat any dodgy looking meats at the market?

Of course not; that’d be boring.

Everyone else was fine. You’d all sampled Morroccos culture without giving yourselves the worst case of food poisoning you’d ever witnessed. But not Tom - possibly one of the only ‘indispensable’ people on the set. If you, or one of the minor characters, or even the director, had got ill - the show could continue.

When you’d been rudely awoken by your phone going off, you’d known instantly. It was as if you’d told him not to take a bite out of the weird burger once you were away from the eager view of the street vendor. Sure enough, with bleary eyes, you hissed at the brightness of the phone screen before seeing ‘Tom H’ on the screen.

“Y/n?” His voice was croaky, but just from the single call of your name, it was clear he was feeling sorry for himself.

“Are you okay? It’s late T.”

“Um I… can you come over? You…you might need the key I’m - um- in the bathroom.”

As his stylist, it technically wasn’t part of your job description to also be mother when he was sick, but (unfortunately for you) after the 3 years working side by side with him - you were also friends.

Which you were almost regretting by the second time rinsing the toilet bowl clean after he’d evacuated what seemed to be the majority of his vital organs into it. Honestly, it was impressive how he managed to keep going.

That had been at around 4 in the morning- the doctor had been called at 8, coinciding beautifully with his 5th toilet extravaganza. Once the doctor had confirmed your original, if completely unqualified, diagnosis of food poisoning - you hadn’t been able to bite your tongue. Perhaps an ‘i told you so’ might’ve slipped past your lips, but Tom was a bit too out of it to argue back.

You’d been given firm advice from the doctor - he said little sips of water, rest and control his temperature. It all had seen pretty simple - though the action? Not so much.

It wasn’t his fault, yet Tom was not super compliant. You and Harry had both been taking turns in practically forcing him to take sips of water, having to turn off ‘modern family’ till he did. The blackmail had put you both in his bad book.

Honestly, thank the lord Harry was here too. You’d woken him up at seven, begging for help and since then, you’d tagged teamed. While one was looking after Tom, the other was phoning the director, the doctor, and the crew to inform them of the current situation.

Again, of all people. Why’d it have to be Tom?

Mainly because you knew how mortifying he found this. He didn’t like people fussing over him, never had. He liked to work hard, liked to make people happy - definitely didn’t like to feel a burden. Perhaps what made him feel ten times worse was that he knew he was inconveniencing the whole production team massively.

And yes, as you’d unhelpfully reminded him, it was ‘his fault’.

The lavish hotel room, big bathroom and pretty efficient AC still didn’t manage to mask the pungent in-the-back-of-your-throat smell from the bathroom. At the doctor’s advice, who had been a little concerned at Toms fever, Harry had cranked the AC on high. It had forced you to steal one of Tom’s big hoodies and a pair of joggers- you hadn’t left his room since he first called you, still wearing your tiny pyjama shorts and an old tee.

“Please turn the air con off.” His little voice whined from where he was lying, huddled up under the covers. Perched on the other side of the double bed, but over the covers with your laptop on his lap, you could actually feel him shivering with the chills. It felt like you were torturing the poor boy.

“T you know I can’t. It’ll make your fever worse.” The way he looked up at you, like a little Labrador that you were refusing to pet, actually pained your heart.

Okay, so yes it was his fault, but you weren’t mad, you just felt so awful for him.

“Please I’ll- I’ll pay you more.” His voice was hoarse; though he denied a sore throat, it sounded like the constant sickness was burning his windpipe.

“Tommm” you pouted, sticking your bottom lip out “I don’t want your money, want you to get better.”

Apparently giving up, brown eyes shot you the filthiest look in disappointment, rolling to face away from you. You thought he was giving you the silent treatment in a huff, but instead, he was praying on the weaker one.

“Harry, I’ll buy you that set of golf clubs-“

“NO!” You had to interrupt before Harry would say yes - because from the way his younger brother shot up from the arm chair, he was about to. Scowling eyes slowly focused back on you in annoyance, making you huff - shutting the laptop and kneeling on the bed to face him. After pressing the back of your palm to his forehead, which was scorching hot, you sighed. “I know you feel shitty and I’m so so sorry but I’m trying to make you better. So shut up, drink this and go to sleep!”

Like a child scorned, you received another death glare however, then he complied, taking a sip of the water you offered before lying back - huddling even tighter.

And it had been relatively peaceful for a few hours; Tom seemed to be getting some sleep - even if he was tossing and turning. Eventually, a prescription that the doctor had requested worked its way through the system, Harry getting a text to say he could go pick it up. The nearest pharmacy was probably a 30 minute drive from the hotel, so he left as soon as.

This left you alone with Tom, where the situation only descended into more chaos.

Almost as soon as Harry had left, Tom had stirred with a grunt. All it took was one look at his face for you to know. Both of you leapt up and flew into the toilet, Tom once again getting very familiar with the Moroccan toilet bowl.

This time though, when he had leant backwards, he’d sort of lost control and flopped most the way - you catching him before he could hit his head on the tiled floor.

“Woah, easy there!” It wasn’t like he’d passed out, but the look in his eye as he slumped into your lap… he wasn’t all there either. “Hey Tom… you with me? Tom?”

Lazily he blinked up at you, not really replying except for groans of half-formed words.

Deciding this had all got a bit direr, you almost sprinted back into the room, grabbing your phone and returning. He was still on the floor, his thumb and first finger pressing into each eye - groaning again.

“Hey Tom? I’m gonna call the doctor you need anything?” He whined in response, stopping only when you stroked his sweaty hair back, most of your attention on dialling the correct number.

The solution he’d given wasn’t pretty: Tom’s fever was too high hence why he was all woozy and groany. Until the doctor could get over with the stronger medications, you needed to lower his temperature in other ways or take him to hospital. He’d absolutely hate hospital, but the other choice? Boy, was he not going to like it either.

Ignoring Tom’s croaked question of what you were doing, you busied yourself switching on the bath taps. You let the water run until it was the right (very mild) temperate, then turned back to Tom, who’d managed to work himself up to sit against the sink unit.

“The doctor says you need it.” His brain was foggy, his mind was slow but your tone told him enough to know something was wrong with the bath. “Just take your clothes off and then I’ll help you-“

“Absolutely fucking not.” Good. He was still with it enough to argue.

“I am just as uncomfortable as you are Tom, but we both know you can’t stand up without fainting, so you are going to need my help.”

“Y/n!”

“Keep your boxers on and it’s just like a fitting! I’ve seen you have those before!”

It was clear as day just how emasculated he felt, especially because he knew you were right. Sitting up at this current moment was a push; there was no way he was getting in the bath without some help. Defeatedly he nodded, but gave you a piercing look to turn around before he started wiggling himself out of the flannel pyjama trousers and light cotton t-shirt. Most confusingly, he still felt freezing cold, yet he had long since learned not to argue with you - especially when your justification came from the advice of a doctor.

Your cue to turn around came in the form of an extra angry-sounding grunt- the look you got when you did wasn’t much better either. It was a weird contrast, though, having someone who physically appeared so indestructible (a superhero for crying out loud); to have been absolutely beaten to a pulp by a few mouth fulls of weird meat. You had seen his bare torso before, although it still wasn’t something easy to get used to - making you clench your teeth together just slightly. A very welcome view.

Perhaps you looked just a little too long at the man who was technically your boss, hunched angrily on the floor in nothing but his calvins - another grunt shaking you out of it. By now, the bath was almost full and you hurried to shut off the water, feeling your cheeks heat up as you cursed silently to yourself.

“Okay come on, gimme your arm.” Begrudgingly Tom followed your request, slinging his arm heavily over your shoulder as you crouched beside him. As strong as he looked, you knew right now he felt powerlessly weak - all that muscle was just going to be almost dead weight.

Now it was your turn to grunt and groan as you pulled Tom up to stand, him focusing on blinking away the headrush he got.

“Come on T work with me here.” Getting him to the side of the bath wasn’t too difficult, the issue came when he stepped with one foot into the bath and yelped, instantly withdrawing as if it was a literal ice bath.

The sudden movement had you both losing balance, ending with Tom sitting on the edge of the bath and you leaning over him, in between his legs, and slapping your hand on the wall opposite purely so you both didn’t end up in the bath.

“Tom!”

“It’s like ice water!”

“Its lukewarm like the doctor said!”

“It is not its from the fucking arctic!”

“Oh for god sake!” Exasperated, you paced up and down the bathroom shaking your head at his ridiculousness. This was ALL. HIS. FAULT.

You came back to him with an ultimatum.

“It’s this or the doctor said I had to drag your ass to hospital.”

“Nooooooo.” The 25 year old seemed to convert into a whiny three year old again.

“Those are the two options. So will you PLEASE quit complaining and get in the bath.”

Keeping up the toddler persona, Tom huffed but reluctantly nodded in agreement - you had come up trumps. It didn’t stop him yelping when you helped to lower him in. His breath was shaky, as a response to the ‘cold’, but he was firming it. At least when you felt his forehead after a couple of minutes, it certainly seemed as though the fever was starting to ease off .

“You can go if you want.” His voice was murmured and as you looked up at him, he did his very best to avoid your gaze.

“Not a chance, if you drown on my watch, Nikki will never forgive me.” At the very least he seemed to appreciate your joke, scoffing a little with a small nod. “If you don’t want me here I get it. As soon as Harry’s back, I’ll swap with him.”

“No! It’s not that its… I’m just an ass when I’m ill.”

“A self aware ass, though.” Again he chuckled a little, as you folded your arms on the edge of the porcelain tub, resting your head lying to one side. “You had me pretty scared there for a moment, you know?”

He nodded a little, creating a wave of ripples in the water which you watched to avoid his gaze - which you knew was tracing all your features inquisitively.

“Hey it’s in the job description, always a bit dramatic... I’m sorry though I should never of called you- don’t know why I didn’t just get Harry.” In response you tutted, taking a moment to lean up and push his sweaty curls back a bit.

Just because you could, it was allowed in this moment.

“’m glad you did.”

“Yeh me too” He sighed, eyes fluttering shut in the easy silence of the bathroom. You kept a vigilant eye on him for the next 20 minutes, checking the temperature of his forehead using the back of your hand, whilst he seemed to finally get a bit of proper restbite, appearing like the worst had passed. You had no idea what was taking Harry so long; in fact it was the doctor that arrived first- who you ran to let in (not wanting to leave Tom asleep in the bath one bit).

Whilst the doctor did all his checks, taking his temperature properly this time, satisfied that it was much more manageable. He still wanted to set him up with some oral rehydration rescue packs to get his hydration status a bit better and give some anti-sickness tablets and antipyretics.

Having actually been getting some rest before all the prodding and poking, Tom was back to being a grumbling dick - now not wanting to leave the bath (the irony was real - making you roll your eyes). Once again, he appeared embarrassed to have you see him like this, so you left the doctor to help him get out and changed- instead going down to reception to get a fresh set of sheets, as he’d done a pretty impressive job of sweating through the old ones.

Even if tired and grumpy, when Tom exited the bathroom, he looked much better - he was walking himself without the doctor’s help. Which honestly was such a relief because when he had passed out on you, you genuinely were terrified. Thankfully the doctor stayed for the next 20 or so minutes, which was just when Harry returned with a bag of medications - which were now wholly redundant, given the doctor had already supplied everything.

“What happened?” Harry asked you in a hushed voice, whilst Tom was distracted with getting his medications. Recounting the story of Tom pretty much passing out, Harry grimaced for you, then launching over to give you a tight hug.

“Are you okay?” That was a novel idea, you hadn’t really thought about yourself at all - but honestly, you were a bit shaken, having been running on adrenalin for most of the night.

“I-uhm… yeh I think so… just-just was a bit scared, I guess? Felt bad too because he didn’t want me there but-“

“I can promise you Y/n, he did want you there. Just probably embarrassed he wasn’t all manly and that…” With a nod, you smiled softly at the frizzy-haired boy.

Whilst working with Tom, it also meant getting pretty close to his younger brother. The two Hollands were almost attached at the hip, which you were very much okay with.

It was weird though... your relationships were completely different. Harry was just your brother, through and through. He wound you up like a sibling but also knew you as if he had your whole life. With Tom… it wasn’t that. Arguably, you were closer to Tom, but on a different level. It was more exciting, more nerve-wracking and heartwarming all at the same time. Honestly, you couldn’t get your head around it properly.

“Hey, you’re probably shattered. Why don’t you go back to your room and get some sleep? I got it in here.” You knew Hary was trying to offer something nice, and now all the excitement had worn off, you were unbelievably shattered. But you didn’t like the idea of not being there, as a just in case.

“Uhm, I think I might just stay, you know?” And he did, with a deliberate, knowing smile, he nodded.

He knew you were worried. He knew Tom had really really scared you. He also knew how much you cared about his brother.

Just like how Harry knew Tom wanted you there, even if he felt embarrassed. Well, anyone would- when you are passing out half-naked in front of the one person that really matters.

It was just at this point that the doctor was done, giving Harry instructions about the rest of the day, when you made a beeline for the bed. Tom was propped up against the headboard, still with a pale sullen look and tired eyes, but a bit less clammy and more human. He cracked a smile as you crawled up onto the other side of the bed, kneeling next to him.

“How’re you doin’?”

“All drugged up, just feel fucking exhausted.” Instinctively you reached up to feel his forehead, really appreciating the fact it felt almost normal.

“Join the club mate, I had a 5am wake up call too.” You almost whispered, intending to make Tom laugh, but instead only getting a pout.

“I am sorry, a-are you going to go back to your room?”

“Nah” Tom’s eyes didn’t light up, except the fact that they very much did. “Can’t trust you not to get into trouble while I’m gone Holland.”

“Thanks.” He laughed weakly before shimmying down on the bed, so he was much more comfortable. “And thankyou, I-I’m sorry I’m a dickhead and made your life-“

“Shut up Tom!” Laughing, you lightly slapped his arm, also leaning down on the bed, so you were lying facing him. “You’re all feverish; go to sleep before you say something stupid.”

There was a long pause, Tom just gazing deep into your eyes, because he was pretty sure what he was thinking was nothing to do with the dodgy unidentified meat he’d had the evening before.

“What... like asking you out?”

…..

“Maybe that wouldn’t be so stupid.”

~~~~im really not sure how I feel about this one, let me know what you thought ;) ~~~~

tagging: @lovehollandy12 @hallecarey1 @crossyourpeter@hollandfanficlove

#tomholland #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland x y/n #hurt comfort #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #harry holland

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed. 

Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing. 

Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?  *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7). 

Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you. 

Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.  

Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much. 

1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay  

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it). 

-- H4 Moment of RANT --

Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it? 

I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2). 

Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.

-- RANT ended --

Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head. 

Stand Alones 

Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko  (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy. 

Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.} 

Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary. 

The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 

Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade. 

Breaking News 

Spring Line Up:

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th 

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu 

Gossip 

Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it. 

Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad). 

New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

#second chance the series #y-destiny #lovely writer #brothers the series #cupid coach the series #1000 stars #a tale of thousand stars #final episodes #episode recaps #thai bl #asian bl #thaibl #The Most Peaceful Place is My Place #NƠI BÌNH YÊN NHẤT LÀ VỀ BÊN EM #vietnamese bl #vietnam drama #Absolute BL #Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko #japanese bl #yaoi #yaoi manga #live action manga #live action yaoi #Word of Honor #chinese bl #asianbl #We Best Love #We Best Love: Fighting Mr.2nd #taiwanese bl #taiwan drama

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

How about a little bonus @sicktember Mini-fic?

This one is solely based on something that is mentioned in the fic 'Loosen Up' by @jenniboo311 AND to make it better she helped me write it! (not to mention convinced me to actually post it) Some of the most amusing parts of this were her idea and I love her for it.

I call this one 'A Crappy Situation' and it's 993 words of Peter questioning his eating choices. It's hurt/comfort in the most ridiculous and humorous way possible.

Summary: Against Tony’s advice, Peter scarfs down a questionable looking hot dog directly before heading out on an impromptu mission. It turns out he should have taken that advice. Yet, under no uncertain terms does he want to admit the man was right. Unless he absolutely has to. Sicktember prompt: Food Poisoning

Warning for mentions of diarrhea/stomach upset and illness. Also *read in Cap's voice* Language.

[Full Fic Below the Cut]

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Tony asked while suspiciously eyeing the hot dog clutched in Peter’s greedy hands. Their dinner plans had been interrupted by a call to assemble. Though, apparently his protege, who was determined to never miss a meal, had accosted a street vendor nearby. “I’m not sure street meat is the wisest choice before-”

“It’ll be fine,” Peter interrupted with a shrug, then he inspected the hot dog for a generous three seconds before devouring it in an animalistic fashion that made his mentor cringe.

However, an hour later, after the impromptu mission had wrapped up and Peter was clinging to Iron Man’s back, it was not fine. His stomach had started gurgling unhappily towards the beginning of the fight and had since progressed to something more painful. And undeniably embarrassing.

He knew he needed to say something. Something like, ‘Hey, Mr. Stark. I’m in desperate need of a bathroom, do you think we could take a quick break?’ or ‘Excuse me. Would you mind landing at the next possible gas station?’ But something was stopping him. Mostly his pride. He could practically hear his mentor’s saying, ‘I told you so,’ and really wanted to avoid bringing that into fruition. Then his insides twisted with such ferocity that he had no other choice but to speak up.

“Hey, Mr. Stark,” he began, but that's where the pre-planned speech ended. Because the urgent cries coming from his intestines had somehow managed to wipe all manner of professionalism and eloquence from his brain. Thus the words “I’m about to shit my pants!” flew out of his mouth before he could stop them.

“What?” Tony curtly replied, taken aback by the abruptness of the comment.

“We have to Land! Bathroom. Bathroom now!” Peter squawked, all sense of self-respect having gone completely out the window. “Put me down. Put me down. Put me down!”

As Peter began to twist and turn on his back, Tony had to readjust his pitch to counter the movement and keep himself steady. “Alright, alright! But you’ve got to be still!” he shouted belatedly processing the actual request.

“I can’t!” Peter shot back between a few stuttered breaths, his gut was growing angrier by the second.

‘Don’t crap on your childhood hero, Peter,’ he thought to himself as he frantically tensed every muscle in his body. ‘You'll never recover.’

“Do you want me to drop you?!” Tony questioned, once again adapting his torque and using the flight stabilizers to prevent them from taking a sudden nose dive. While he was well aware that Spider-Man could stick to damn near anything, he couldn't stop picturing him plummeting to the ground.

“Do you want me to shit on you?” Peter shouted, then abruptly realized that was not a sentence he ever thought he'd say to anyone, let alone Tony Stark. Hysterically, he reflected on what his life had become.

Tony sped up and gritted his teeth. “You better not,” he grumbled under his breath. That was not a situation he wanted to have to explain to anyone. Ever.

“Then shut up and land, already!” Peter screamed, knowing he would likely regret it later. But for the time being, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had much more urgent things to dwell on. Like, not crapping in a multi-million dollar suit.

Had it not been for the second-hand anxiety, Tony would have felt the need to berate the kid for telling him to shut up. But he figured they could circle back around to that later. When there weren’t any unpleasant threats looming over him.

After spotting a Seven-Eleven on the corner, he started their descent, half-expecting Peter to take off via web once they'd reached a reasonable altitude. However, the kid seemed to be more focused on trying to strangle him through the armor than anything else. “Pete, you’ve gotta ease up. This armor isn’t impervious to your super-strength, and I’m mortal.”

“I can’t ease up. I’m terrified to unclench anything,” Peter whimpered, the pressure was building and he was starting to fear for the worst. Although, he did make an effort to reposition his arms so that he wasn’t in danger of inadvertently murdering his famous, superhero boss-slash-friend-slash-father figure. Whatever. He didn’t actually have the capacity to try and put a label on their relationship at the moment.

As Peter adjusted his grasp, Tony sucked in a sharp breath. “I’ll take those consequences over pending death, if you don’t mind,” he coughed, then landed directly in front of the convenience store. “Alright, Kid. Go-”

Peter did not require any further prompting. He hurriedly detached himself from the armor and tore through the gas station’s door with enough strength to rip it off the hinges. “Sorry! It’s an emergency!” he hollered but didn’t slow his steps. He only had eyes for the wooden men’s room door that was taunting him from the back of the store.

Once Peter was inside, Tony stepped through what could no longer be considered an actual door and waved casually towards the dazed attendant. “Yeah. I’m gonna pay for that,” he said as he retracted his armor to slide a can of clear soda and a ‘Stark Damage Control’ business card onto the counter. “You can bill me.”

Fifteen minutes later, Peter emerged with a sweat soaked brow and the stench of hot garbage trailing behind him.

“Ready to go?” Tony asked, popping open the can of soda and passing it over.

Peter lifted the bottom of his mask to take a sip, ignoring the horrified look the store keeper was shooting between him and the bathroom. “Yeah. I’m good now. Thanks for, uh- yeah.”

"So, we're never going to speak of this again," Tony stated in no uncertain terms, lifting off to resume their journey.

Peter nodded his head gratefully. "Does this mean we can ignore the part where I told you to shut up?"

"Yeah, no. That part, we're speaking about."

#happyaspie mini fic #sicktember2021 #thank you jenniboo! #sick peter parker #spider-man #iron man #peter parker #tony stark #irondad and spiderson #peter parker doesn't feel so good #food poisoning #diarrhea #tummy issues #marvel fanfiction #tw illness #tw diarrhea #iron dad and spider son

[exigencelost]

this one’s gonna be rambly. this may or may not be a write-only post. continue reading at peril of wasting your own time.

I started to write this as an addition to that post about brain fog and capitalism:

Also, since I’ve now brought up ADHD, I’m just gonna clarify that this post isn’t in fact about ADHD. I know I opened with “unable to consciously direct your attention” and that that’s like, the signature ADHD symptom, and if ADHD people want to add thoughts on that subject go for it; but ADHD is not an illness, and this post is about illness. I’m not talking about “I can’t focus because of a basic static fact of how my central nervous system is wired” I’m talking about “I can’t focus because today, my brain decided to stop taking requests, and everything is either fluffy or way too sharp, because I am sick.” 

Then I decided not to add it because the post was already long and it detracted from message focus and also required me to think too hard about like, how do I phrase this so it’s clear I don’t mean “ADHD isn’t important/ neurodivergents aren’t invited to the sick person club” but rather “These are two different conversations and conflating them isn’t helpful,” and after a certain point that becomes a rabbit hole and, crucially, my brain is fuzzy today. (philosophical ramblings on the nature of illness under the cut)

But I am now Thinking about this topic. About ADHD and chronic fatigue, and the differential nature of not being able to do things. I’m also thinking about that post that was called “how to unfuck your house in the minimum time possible” or something, that gave fantastic advice for a person with ADHD and/or various forms of executive dysfunction and/or just a person whose house is dirty to like, organize and execute the the task of aggressive superficial house cleaning on a deadline. And reading it was so stressful to me. Because the advice, which was detailed and friendly and enthusiastic, described a physically impossible set of tasks. Which. I could go down another rabbit hole here about “you can do it!” type language and its impact on sick people, but I’ll try not to.  I did end up reblogging that post with a note that said “If you have chronic fatigue this absolutely will not solve the obstacles to you cleaning your house, and that’s not your fault.”

and like. Why did I need to do that? I really felt like I needed to add that. Why? The post was not claiming to be advice for chronic fatigue, the post wasn’t doing anything wrong, except not mentioning me, not mentioning sick people. Erasure matters; combating erasure matters; telling sick people that they exist matters and that’s a reason by itself; but I’m not trying to justify the impulse right now I’m trying to understand it, and like, get a handle on my Thoughts about the relationship between executive dysfunction management and chronic fatigue management. Disability liberation is a complex thing.   Personal context: I’ve danced around an ADHD diagnosis with multiple psychiatrists over several years. Probably I don’t have it. Probably what I have is a mixture of avoidant anxiety and brain fog from CFS or something similar, which can create very similar symptoms, including but not limited to the most obvious of “I sometimes cannot force my way through this difficult linear cognitive task.” 

Psychiatrists, in my experience, are only interested in the question “Do you have ADHD” as a precursor to the question “Should we put you on stimulants.” For a host of reasons, stimulants (at least in ADHD therapeutic doses) are probably a bad idea for me, so the ADHD discussion often ends in a stalemate: the answer doesn’t matter, the evidence is ambiguous, let’s move on. 

But it matters a little bit, I think. There is a difference between disorder and illness. There is definitely a difference between neurodivergence and illness. The three terms overlap and are interrelated and in a fully liberated world maybe we wouldn’t use any of them, but here we are in this world, and I think the distinctions are important. (Another rabbit hole I’m stepping around here: the social vs the medical model of disability, and why I think they are both better understood in the context of each other than either of them are alone.)

I have a line I say sometimes, when I want to reset a conversation because I don’t like where it’s headed, or when I just need to express frustration, which is: “Time management is a pyramid scheme.”  I cannot manage my time. The whole idea is preposterous to me. Time is a tenuous fluctuating infinitely powerful elemental force and I am like, not even clear on why you shouldn’t run the garbage disposal without the faucet on, you know? I’m not a match for time. I know my limits. 

A lot of people have suggested I take courses in time management because I told them I was too tired to stand up long enough to cook breakfast. I did not find this response to be helpful.

For a while I had, like, an almost-trauma response to people talking about ADHD-flavored time management strategies. 

I am sick in a way that means I walk through most of my life in a fog. This is not a complaint. I like fog. I mean literally, I find literal fog very beautiful and comforting, and I use it as a metaphor for my cognitive experience quite consciously. You see shapes in fog that are related to, but not identical to, the physical reality around you; your understanding of distance and presence is distorted in fog but not erased; when you walk through a fog you must be engaged in the constant project of imagining the world around you, of guessing its textures and colors based on tenuous evidence. This is what my illness does, a lot of the time: requires me to imagine my reality, rather than simply perceiving it. Another rabbit hole: explaining what I mean by that would take me hours to nail down. I’m not going to try very hard. Like I said, this might be a write-only post. Here’s me trying not very hard: My capacity changes every hour, every day, every week. It is difficult to remember where and how my body hurt yesterday, let alone this time last year. There is definitely no way to know what it will do next month. I hate keeping symptom logs; they feel like reading my own entrails. I refuse to answer mundane questions on scales of one to ten (“on a scale of one to ten how bad would you say that movie was?” “I wouldn’t”) because I refuse to do the work of computing infinitely varied reality to numbers, because when I was twelve years old I was asked over and over to rate my pain on a scale of one to ten and every answer felt like a lie and every answer was treated like a lie. Or—not so moralistic, no one got mad at me, exactly. Every answer was treated as though it were imaginary. If the answer changed, it was like I’d broken out of character. I thought there was a magic number that might make people understand that and how I was sick. There wasn’t. The whole thing began to feel like a process of imagination. The doctors and teachers and nurses were imagining a child who wasn’t me, who didn’t feel what I felt; I was imagining someone who could understand what was happening and help me. We were trying to conjure each other. To pick shapes out of the fog. 

I am never going to get an accurate sense of how much I can get done in an hour. There is no answer to that question. There are answers, plural, ranges based on predictive omens that are closer to reading the future in tea leaves than they are to using mercury to measure pressure. 

So, I can never plan what I will do with an hour. I can try to do things, and often I succeed. But I don’t get to sit down and say “X set of things will happen by Y time.” It doesn’t work like that. It never will. As far as I’m concerned, everyone else is just pretending that it works like that, and as long as they keep pretending everyone else feels that they have to pretend too, and so it goes on. Time management is a pyramid scheme. 

I have a document where I keep a list of things I need to do for work. In my experience, trying to divide that list by what day I’ll do what thing is an exercise of imagination, and not a very interesting one. As a sick person it is more effective for me to be always ready to improvise, always set up to recover from a sudden incapacitation, always ready to pounce on a sudden moment of cognitive clarity and physical function to do whatever is most important right now, than it is for me to try to make a schedule and stick to it. 

When I make plans with friends for the future I am reaching for a distant shape in the fog. I am asking someone: help me to imagine this thing. If we imagine it, together maybe we can make it come true. And when we get to the day of the plan we made, sometimes the shape emerges full-formed from the fog, and sometimes it dissipates, drifts out of reach. That’s okay. You have to always be ready to imagine something else. 

What did I start this post talking about? ADHD? Okay. I remember why I started on how much I can get done in an hour. When my psychiatrist sent me to an ADHD-informed attention management class, the teacher of the class told me that people with ADHD often have drastically inaccurate ideas of what they can accomplish in an hour. The teacher suggested that we all set a timer for an hour and start doing something and when it ends, see what’s done. Do that a few times, and then you’ll have your answer, and you can use that to make plans. 

I thought that was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. What does today have to do with tomorrow? What does this hour have to do with the next?

It wasn’t stupid. It just wasn’t about me. Okay, finally, here we are: the answer to my initial question. Why is it important to differentiate chronic illness from ADHD, when we’re both slipping on the wet stone stairs of time?  Because the answers aren’t the same. And if you try to pretend they’re the same, then sitting in the back of that time-management class listening to someone offer solutions that have nothing to do with you, you become a little bit more invisible to yourself. The shapes in the fog shrink a little further away from you.

I don’t have an ending point here. feel free to add one of your own. 

#this post makes no attempt to do the accessible emphasis thing because i have no ability to identify what i should emphasize #disability #chronic illness #adhd #chronic fatigue #chronic fatigue syndrome #anxiety #not gonna tag long post bc there's a readmore #sick

[mousehole5000]

 this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!

this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it

oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys

“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out

god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”

“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.”  - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions

“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“

“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!

“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot

i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait

“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg

“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again

“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG

“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop

“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay

honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t

“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....

“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much

“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us

“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream

“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(

emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable

xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy

“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.”  - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts

“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough

although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god

fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?

okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing

“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)

okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl

“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king

the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(

that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and  everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool

but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*

#tgcf liveblog #it is Complete i can move on now #i actually have a lot more thoughts about hl because i uhhhh relate. to things. and have opinions due to my experiences #but its also quite Personal soooo i might just keep them tucked away #anyway im freeeeeee #mouse mumbles

[wheremyscalesslither]

About snakes, this blog, breeding, and the future

Please let me bare my soul, and if i can be needy for a second and beg for some positive reinforcement, id really appreciate your replies. Hell ill even turn asks and anons back on if you all promise to be gentle 😭 sorry this is sooo long, but i have a need to say it.

Sorry its not snake pics lately, and ive been so sparse in posting pictures. I have been putting more energy into working as a high school teacher and building shit and investing time in my hobbies.

I got a message from a younger dude asking for help understanding something and it made me think: When it comes to new keepers, I much prefer interacting with millenials and younger in the snake community. Even new keepers who are older tend to ignore advice from young people and any gender that isn't man. And the latter they tend to try and humiliate, even if the younger person knows what they are talking about.

I totally get why i became so bitter on the internet, and why sometimes i still react poorly (among just failing to train the impulsivity and negativity in my life). Ive finally found a pretty decent balance and healthy relationship with social media, which is a huge step away, at least at the rate i have already. I still slip on super bad days and fail to recognize and stop myself before i act like a complete dick, but i feel like im finally getting back into a place where im more positive, and helpful, and less reactive. And im learning to stay off the internet when i have bad days and CANT stop myself, but still slip 🤷‍♂️ idk im trying and doing well i feel haha

I also realized in the last year that breeding ball pythons isnt why i enjoy ball pythons. Dont get me wrong- i LOVE GENETICS and breeding, but keeping them a d enjoying their behavior is much more satisfying than pumping out babies.

I made the decision to down size, hopefully to 5-10 snakes within 3 years. I still have specific plans for breeding id like to accomplish, and i think id like to have a couple animals to breed every now and then, but i dont need or want this many breeding animals. I think somewhere along the lines i wanted to be "impressive" and gain the respect of everyone in the community, and that became ingrained in me, even though i forgot the reason i was intending to breed so many animals.

Then i remembered, i dont give a fuck what other people think.

I care, Least of all, what the majority of the breeding hobby thinks of me. Everyone knows my gripes with minimum care and promoting minimum care, but the sexism, ageism, and ignorance, and elitist attitude of the majority of breeders are other heavy parts that i didnt realize were taking a toll on me. Why the heck would i ever want to impress or be respected by those types of people? OHHHH I dont. Duh. Reality check!!!

Plus, ball pythons are lame. They are over done, and everyone thinks they are special for owning one, but we really arent. We are the bottom of the barrel in reptile keeping. I never considered myself epic for owning and breeding BPs, though my damn attitude never reflected that.

Anyhow, it's hard for me to think about breeding lately. Its hard to sell to pet owners, all my friends who want and can care for snakes have them, and the animal's i breed for are like.... breeding animals as far as genes go. Ive considered also lowering the prices as a special for new keepers, since many of my pairings are like breeding types, but im not gonna lie, the money is tempting to out them at market value, and the idea of getting back some of what input into just animals purchases sounds great.

Im not sure where i will go yet, but my heart hurts thinking about putting my snakes into an industry standard rack, or someone who doesnt have similar values in general.

As for this blog, im gonna keep posting snake pictures probably until tumblr goes under. I have full intentions to update and expand my resources, but i rarely have a moment where i actually WANT to do so.

SO ANYHOW thats everything

Sorry this is so long

[alright--okay]

you ever been to a basement show? pt. 4

tsukishima kei x reader

summary: Tsukishima sees you everywhere, and for a big school thats weird. And it’s not like he’s gonna do anything, that’d be even weirder, but one day in your shared lecture he sees you wearing a shirt with some small band’s name. A band he know. And well, now he has to know who you are.

word count: ~2.7 k

a/n: the first five chapters are already on ao3 so imma post them here real quick, hope anyone reading enjoys!

read on ao3!

pt. 4 Go Home. Play Music. Feel Better. - Michael Cera Palin

“Ohoho, look who decided to show up,” you said to Tsukishima as he moved to sit beside you in the lecture hall.

Tsukishima gave you an exasperated look, “class didn’t even start yet. Also please don’t take on those idiots’ mannerisms.”

“Why not? I think it’s fun. And completely unrelated, but want to come to the store with me after class? Bokuto recommended me this hair gel and I’ve always wanted to try-”

“Please stop,” Tsukishima turned to face the front of the class as you broke out into quiet giggles.

“Seriously though, I didn’t get to eat breakfast this morning so I’m gonna get something at that cafe near our apartments if you want to join.”

This wasn’t a date. Tsukishima knew this. That didn’t stop his heart from beating a tad bit faster or the apples of his cheeks growing rosier.

Tsukishima shifted his arm to one of the uncomfortable arm rests of the seat, leaning his head against his hand to hopefully help cover any of the heat on his cheeks, “yeah, I’m down.”

“Cool,” from the corner of his eye, Tsukishima saw you give your own small smile as you turned to focus on the professor about to start the lecture.

This wasn’t a date.

~~~~~~

Class dragged on, but soon enough you and Tsukishima were making the short journey to the cafe.

“Did you finish the paper for that class?” Tsukishima asked.

“What paper?”

“The one he assigned last week? Due on Wednesday? The one on that civilization-”

“Wait, no, no, no. That paper’s due on the 18th.”

“y/n…” Tsukshima slowed his pace to look you in your eyes, “Wednesday is the 18th.”

You let a quiet “fuck” slip from your mouth as you faced forward, moving quickly to the cafe now only a few shops away, “then no, I haven’t even started it.”

“Yeah that seemed pretty obvious,” Tsukishima said with a smirk.

“He never mentioned it again! I can’t keep track of everything!”

“Yeah, not even the date apparently,” Tsukishima snickered, opening the door for the two of you.

“Alright, listen!” Tsukishima’s laugh only grew louder, “I thought this class was gonna be fun and easy, and now I have to write a paper in like two days. Disgusting,” your attentioned moved to the menu hanging above the register.

“It’s short, you’re being dramatic.”

“Fuck you,” Tsukishima let out a startled laugh while you moved forward to give your order and pay then stood off to the side waiting for Tsukishima to do the same.

Tsukishima silently pointed to a table off in the corner that was free, “what is your major anyway?” he said as the two of you settled down into the seats.

You told him your major with a small shrug, “Nothing too special, but I liked it in high school so I figured I’d just keep up with it. Are you actually archeology or are you also just in this class for the hell of it?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, “Yes, I’m an archeology major, but this class doesn’t count for much since it's pretty entry level.”

“So what you’re saying is that you’re good at this stuff?”

“I’m not writing your paper.” “I wouldn’t ask that!” you said with a frown, “I was wondering if you could at least help me though. Read it over, give me some advice, make sure it’ll give me a decent grade, stuff like that. Come on, I’ll make you cookies.”

Tsukishima paused for a moment, “What about a strawberry shortcake?”

“I mean I’ll have to go to the store…” Tsukishima continued to stare at you, “but fine! Yes, I’ll make you a strawberry shortcake, you bastard.” You mumbled the last part under your breath as you got up to get yours and Tsukishima’s orders.

Making a cake would be a small price to pay for a good grade in a class you honestly didn’t care about. Spending time with Tsukishima didn’t hurt either.

“Get as much of it done as you can tonight, I’m done with class pretty early tomorrow so we can work on it together at my place whenever you’re free,” Tsukishima gave you the short rundown as you place the food on the table.

“Why don’t we do it at my place? You have like three roommates. I have Yachi.”

“Good point, text me tomorrow when you’re good,” Tsukishima said with a small nod.

~~~

It was a little past one on tuesday when you decided to text Tsukishima.

To Tsukishima archeology:

hey im walking home now so feel free to come over whenever

From Tsukishima archeology:

alright ill be there soon

You slid your phone back into your pocket, trying to turn your focus on the music flowing through your headphones and not on the lanky blonde that would be spending the rest of the day in your apartment.

You saw Tsukishima at least three times a week and most of that time was spent alone with each other in class or recitation, but this was… different. You were going to be actually alone with the guy. No distractions from a professor or a friend or a cafe worker calling out names. And okay Tsukishima was mildly attractive… Okay he was attractive but you wouldn’t let that come between you and the new friend you made in the snarky asshole.

It's not like anything would happen anyway. Tsukishima definitely didn’t like you like that, and no amount of daydreaming him confessing to you would make it come true (even if it was a very nice daydream).

It wasn’t long before you made it up to your apartment. Yachi had a late class today so you weren’t expecting her back until tonight, hopefully after Tsukishima had already left. It wasn’t that you didn’t want Yachi to know… but Yachi had already been making assumptions and Tsukishima coming over to “do work” alone in your room would do nothing but feed her imagination (even if it was the truth).

In the middle of eating a quick snack, Tsukishima sent you a text saying he was at your building.

You scrambled down the staircase of your building to meet Tsukishima who was waiting (somewhat) patiently on the stoop of your building.

“Finally,” he muttered as you widened the door for him to pass.

“You gave me no warning! Should’ve left you out here longer.”

“Should I just leave then? Seems like you don’t want me here so I’ll just-”

You put your hands on Tsukishima’s back, pushing him further into the building, “Nope, you’re helping me. You already agreed, no backing out.”

Tsukishima let out a dramatic sigh, now trailing behind you, “Did you at least start it?”

“Yes, in fact, I did. Almost done too, just need one more paragraph to push me over the word minimum.”

“What am I supposed to do in the meantime? I thought I was just gonna read it over?” Tsukishima asked as you let him into your and Yachi’s apartment, leading him to your small kitchen table.

“I dunno, dude; do other homework, work on your own paper, pick an album to listen to,” you gestured lazily towards your bedroom door, “all my vinyl is in the crates to the right.”

You could tell Tsukishima tried very hard to hide his excitement, “well, I already submitted my paper,” he ‘casually’ slid his backpack off his shoulders and made his way to the door you just pointed out.

You followed him over, showing him the milk crates you were talking about, your record player sitting on the dresser nearby.

“If you're gonna be sitting here, I’ll work at my desk,” you gathered your laptop and the notebook you had used to organize your paper, settling at the small desk, “if you need any help let me know.”

Tsukishima gave you a small smile and proceeded to get down on the floor to sit cross legged, flipping through the crate closest to him.

The two of you continued in silence for a while until Tsukishima gave a light poke to your shoulder, a recognizable album in his hand.

“I’ve never actually used a record player, so can you…” he trailed off, pushing the album towards you.

You tried to contain your amusement. Tsukishima clearly did not want to be asking you this, but you were glad he took this route instead of trying it and scratching up your records.

“Yeah sure, good pick by the way,” you got up from your desk chair and took the album, sliding the sleeve out to get to the vinyl itself, this one in particular being a bright blue as opposed to the typical black.

You ran him through how to handle the records and how to work your particular player so he would be able to flip and change the records whenever, and soon enough the beginning of Just Friends’ album Nothing but Love began to play.

You smiled again, making your way back to your desk to finish up your paper while Tsukishima went back to sitting on your floor, alternating between listening to the music and playing on his phone.

By the time the album came to an end you placed your laptop in Tsukishima’s lap, “be gentle,” you said, moving to grab an album at random and replace the one coming to an end.

“I’m not gonna promise anything,” he replied, adjusting his glasses to begin reading your paper.

You wandered off to the kitchen for a glass of water, not wanting to be in the room while Tsukishima was judging your writing.

“It’s not that bad!” Tsukishima called from your room, you walked over to lean in the door frame, “I marked some stuff you should reword and you should probably include that thing he mentioned a while ago…” Tsukishima continued to talk about your paper, flipping through notes to bring up examples and point out which parts he found errors in.

“But not bad?” you questioned again with a small smile, taking your laptop back.

“Not great, but not bad,” he said getting up to get his own stuff from the kitchen.

“I’ll take it!” you took it as a win when you heard Tsukishima’s laughter from the other room.

~~~

It was well into the evening by now, Tsukishima had helped fully finalize your paper a while ago but the two of you continued to talk and do work in your room. At this point you knew Yachi was going to be here soon. You would have to kick Tsukishima out now if you didn’t want her to notice just how long the boy had spent here and that just seemed rude and unnecessary (plus you didn’t really want Tsukishima to go just yet).

“Did you want to just stay for dinner? Yachi said she's picking something up, so if you want anything speak now.”

Tsukishima paused shortly at your question, “where’s she stopping?”

You relayed your and Tsukishima’s order to Yachi hoping she’d get home soon so you could have a proper meal.

You and Tsukishima were back to the floor, sifting through albums and talking over the music in the background.

“I wish you had A Flourish and a Spoil,” Tsukishima said, examining the art of one particular album.

“By The Districts?” Tsukishima’s eyes darted over to you, making you laugh, “I have that one, just probably got misplaced if it’s not with the D’s,” you took a minute to think back to the last time you had listened to the album, trying to place where it currently was.

You hauled yourself up and went to your dresser. Beside your record player was a short stack of albums you had been listening to the other day but were too lazy at the time to properly put away. Sure enough, the dark album art peaked from the pile.

You took the whole stack over to your crates, passing the album to Tsukishima’s waiting hands.

“We’re listening to this next,” Tsukishima said, eyes roaming the back of the album, examining all the details.

“We can definitely do that,” you replied, sorting the albums, “but Yachi’s gonna be here soon so you good with waiting a little bit?”

He gave you a small nod and the two of you resumed your quiet activities with the current record coming to an end. It wasn’t long after you heard the apartment’s door open with Yachi making her presence known.

The three of you sat around the small kitchen table, eating your food and talking about your days. You tried to ignore all of Yachi’s “subtle” looks in favor of asking about the class she just got out of.

“I hate that it lets out so late!” Yachi complained, dropping her head to the table, “I’m so tired and the walk home gets scary in the dark.”

“You can always ask me or Yamaguchi to walk with you,” Tsukishima said, looking up from his food, “if you’re really anxious we really wouldn’t mind, it’s a short walk.”

“Tsukki!” Yachi let out a cry, tears gathering in her eyes, “don’t listen to them, you’re so sweet, I love you.”

“Wait, listen to who-” Yachi interrupted his questions by giving his stiff posture a hug, “what are people saying about me?”

Yachi continued her hug, Tsukishima slowly raising a hand to pat her back, “nothing, nothing, it doesn’t matter anyway.”

You laughed at Tsukishima’s confused and irked expression, clearly not knowing how to interpret Yachi’s words.

Yachi removed herself from Tsukishima, “well, I am exhausted, goodnight,” Yachi said, giving you both a smile.

“Goodnight, Yachi, see you tomorrow,” you said, Tsukishima giving his own goodnight before turning to look you in the eye.

“It’s time,” he said, quickly cleaning up your plates and then heading to your room.

You laughed as you trailed behind him. He was already setting up the vinyl so you settled on your bed, letting your back fall into the comforter sitting atop your mattress.

The opening beats of the first song gently filled your room, quiet enough to not disturb Yachi but loud enough that the thumping drums still hit in your chest. Tsukishima turned around and you patted the spot beside you. He seemed to hesitate for a second before making his way over, letting his body lay beside your own.

“I used to listen to this album all the time in high school,” Tsukishima said to the ceiling. You turned your head to look at his side profile, “I think at the time it was just cause I liked how it sounded,” he paused for a particular chorus to pass, “but now I actually listen to it.”

You turned your head back to the ceiling, “I get that. A lot of albums have changed meaning for me over the years. This always felt like a new beginning though.”

Tsukishima hummed beside you. You let the music fill the room, you and Tsukishima each focusing on the lyrics of each song and how one connected to another.

Side A came to its gentle end, so you got up to slowly flip it, not wanting to break the calm atmosphere your room held at the moment. You took your spot beside Tsukishima again, trying not to disturb him.

“God, this album slaps,” Tsukishima mumbled under his breath at the crescendo of the song, making you break out into a laugh. Tsukishima surprisingly let out a chuckle of his own, “what? You know it's true.”

“I know, I know,” you let your giggles peter out, “I feel like you have to save that for Young Blood though.”

“It can be applied in a variety of places, don’t go around constricting me.”

“Fair enough,” you smiled at him, scooting your legs further on the bed to get more comfortable.

Young Blood, as good of a song as it was, was eight minutes long and by the final words of it, you could feel yourself drifting. It started with just resting your eyes, but soon your body was trying to catch up on the lack of sleep.

As your mind was shutting down, you heard a soft snore beside you. I’ll deal with this tomorrow, you thought to yourself before succumbing to the warmth of your room and the body beside you, letting the final song of the album lull you to sleep.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukki x reader

[ladyideal]

Unlucky Star

Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Reader

Word Cont: 2064 (oops?)

Warnings: Nudity but not in a smutty way, needles, injections, and lots of fluff, couple ol’ cursing

Summary: While everyone was sick, you weren’t. This time, while everyone was sick free, you caught the cold. Jim tries to intervene on behalf of your health. Leonard takes it upon himself to pull you away from work, and takes care of you.

A/n: This is for @cuddlememerrick​ and everyone feeling sick during this cold and flu season. Take care of yourselves, everyone. Go see a doctor if it worsens. Better safe than sorry. To those are sick, get well soon!

PS: It’s also Valentine’s weekend, so I’ll be taking up drabble requests over the weekend (as I’ve no plans) and finishing up a couple more fics. Expect a couple more posts from me.

(credit to owner for gif)

You were lucky for the most part. Away missions that you went didn’t end in a disaster, you had a job aboard the infamous USS Enterprise, you had friends, and most importantly, you had a wonderful love life. Nothing much you could complain about really.

Above all, you were one of the lucky stars amongst the crew that hardly ever got sick. So while the entire ship had tears watering in their eyes, noses that flowed never ending with snot, and coughs that could be heard from one side of the ship to the other. 

A harmless rhinovirus really, but in just a matter of weeks, the entire crew was infected, sending Leonard into overdrive down at the medbay. Even the Captain was confined to his quarters, in fear of transmitting the cold. However, it was no use. Chekov took the day off, and you were one of the very few dwindling officers left, that could keep their eyes open long enough to see what was in front of them.

You volunteered to take his shifts, seeing how the ship was in quite a disarray at the amount of people sniffling and sneezing around you. If the Romulans knew that just a single bacteria managed to cripple the entire crew, hell it’d spell really bad news for everyone. 

It was only a week later did you really start to notice that something was feeling rather off. 

At first, you’d chalk it up to stress and pulling extra shifts. Less sleep, less food and water, and more hours awake deciphering Chekov’s notes was to blame, you’d thought. However, what really brought your attention, was your soaring uncomfortable fever and wracking cough that shook your body every time you had a coughing fit.

You were doomed for sure. 

Pressing a tissue to your nose as you attempted to steep coffee grounds, you glanced at the chrom. 

“So much for a break,” You mumbled, grabbing the mug of coffee on your out the door and towards the Bridge.

“Afternoon, Captain,” You greeted Jim as you strode past him, giving Chekov a thumbs up on his way out. 

“Afternoon, Lieutenant,” Jim paused, noticing your usual lack of excitement. “Are you alright? It doesn’t sound-.”

“I’m fine, Jimbo,” You took the seat that the Russian whiz kid vacated earlier. “Little tired.” Settling yourself in a better position, you could still feel Jim’s worried eyes on your back.

“If you say so,” Jim reluctantly dropped the topic, although from his tone, he was still worried for you. 

Squinting your eyes to better understand what the hell Chekov left for you on his notes, you started your long, arduous work day on the Bridge. On a normal day, you’d banter back and forth with the Captain to fill the silence as you both worked. Given that you were Leonard’s girlfriend, you were best friends with him too, and enjoyed a couple similar things. For example, hating medbay, disliking authority, getting under the doctor’s skin whenever possible, and taking risks.

Hours ticked by, as you squirmed around in your seat for the umpteenth time. Sweat gathered on your brow, and behind your neck as you focused on your task at hand. With Chekov’s sloppy handwriting, it was a nightmare to sort through his notes each day, something that you’d lectured him whenever you got the chance to do so. 

It was getting ridiculously warm. Fuck. Did Jim mess with the temperature again?

“Lieutenant!” Jim sharply spoke, interrupting your thoughts. He sounded much more worried now, as if he had been trying to gain your attention for quite some time now. 

“Yes, Captain?” You spoke, looking back at him. 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you wiggling around in your seat like that,” He spoke, observing your hunched up position. “I think you’re sick. I’ll have Bones come up and have a quick look at you.”

“Captain, I assure you that I’m fine. Leonard’s finally able to relax after that disaster month of a cold,” You protested, but quickly faltered as he commed your boyfriend up from the medbay.  

“Y/N, you need rest and time off to take care of yourself. We can’t have another fiasco like last month again,” Jim continued. “I’ll have someone take the rest of your shift.”

You grumbled wordlessly, appreciating the warmth and concern from your friendship with him, but irritated as he was one that never took his own advice. “You’re an ass.”

“What’s this about being an ass?” A familiar baritone voice drew out from the doors. 

Leonard.

“Bones, there you are,” Jim brightened up, throwing his best friend his usual shit eating grin. “We were just talking about how Y/N over there looked a little pale, and agreed that it’d be better if you took a glance.”

You silently fumed at Jim’s words, glaring down at the numbers in front of you. Trust Jim to roll you into this mess. 

“You telling me, Jim, that there was no emergency?” Leonard grumbled loudly. 

“Yeah Jimbo, there’s nothing wrong,” You added your words into the growing fire. 

“You wound me,” Jim feigned horror, clutching his hands together in front of his heart.  

“You’ll live.”

Rolling his eyes at his best friend, Leonard strode to your station with his emergency medkit in hand, and squatted down till he was eye level with you. 

“Sweetheart, look at me,” He softly ordered. While you stubbornly sat there, he gently placed his fingers around your chin, quietly encouraging you to do so.

He regarded your red eyes, stuffy nose, and very dry, chapped lips. “You’re sick, sugar.”

“‘M not sick, Len.‘m fine,” You hoarsely managed out. “Just a couple more minutes.”

He raised his signature eyebrow look, already exasperated that you were trying to fight him on this already. “Even the strong eventually falls ill.”

Hearing the evidence of your sickness, Leonard brought the back of his hand to your forehead, feeling the uncomfortable warmth radiating behind your skin. “And a fever too.”

He sighed, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “C’mon sweetheart, let’s get you outta here first.”

“Len, honey, I’m-,” You tried again, but stopped as he threw a pointed look at you. “Okay, alright, alright, you win. I’ll go”

“Take care of her, Bones,” Jim added cheekily before you and Leonard headed towards the turbolift. 

You threw him a glare before the doors closed. 

“Unbelievable, darlin’. Why didn’t you comm me that you were sick?” The doctor pulled out his handy dandy tricorder, giving you a whirl as it no doubt scanned you. 

“You were tired, I was tired,” You shrugged.

“My god, darlin’. How long have you let this continue?” He scowled down at his tricorder, taking in the numbers displayed. 

“A day or three,” You squeaked out. Now that you weren’t forced to compensate for your work, your sickness rapidly took over again. 

“A day or - Jesus, that is ridiculously bullheaded of you,” He put away his tricorder, gently tucking away an errant hair. “In your state, you would benefit from an IV saline overnight, but I assume that’s a no go.”

You pulled out your best puppy dog eyes at him. 

 “Alright sweetheart, I can make sure you’re comfortable down in our quarters too,” He relented. “You know I would do anything with those eyes.”

“What are you gonna do, hypo me into next week so I don’t have to suffer?” You lifted your eyes hopefully at him. 

“Even better,” He breathed, crowding into your space. “I’ll draw you a bath, even drop in your favorite bath bomb, make some food for you, and then wrap you up so we can snuggle up together on the couch with ice cream to soothe your throat while we watch some holos.”

You leaned on him, already closing your eyes to imagine it all. “Mmm,” you hummed. “I like that.”

Before long, while you were stripping your clothes off into a mess on the floor of your shared quarters, Leonard turned the taps on to fill the tub. 

You rubbed your eyes tiredly as you examined yourself in the mirror. “God damn,” you muttered. 

“Don’t think much of it,” Your boyfriend spoke, turning around to watch you. “You’re sick. Water’s ready.”

You stuck a finger in to test the water, but recoiled instantly at the touch of the icy cold water, and reproachfully glanced back at him. 

“You don’t want the saline, this is the next best way to lower that fever,” was all the explanation you received. 

With an unhappy scowl, you slowly lowered yourself in while Leonard came back with a chair and a washcloth. 

As you laid back back, you let your eyes flutter close, dropping your tense shoulders. 

“That’s it,” The doctor encouraged, gently dabbing away at your forehead with the cold washcloth. “Computer, bathroom light to 30%”

You groaned in earnest, satisfied with the amount of attention you were receiving and the dim lighting you were in. 

“Here, let me wash your hair real fast,” he spoke quietly, reaching over to grab your bottle of shampoo and a jug of warm water he’d placed to the side earlier..

After pouring some water on your head, he squirted a dollop into his hands and slowly massaged it into your hair. Humming an unfamiliar tune, you let yourself drift off in bliss as Leonard worked his way out from the scalp. His long, talented fingers did not miss a place, gently smoothing out each strand out.

It was pure heaven.

Before you knew it, he was pouring the rest of the water to get the suds out. “Let’s get you outta there before you start shivering.” 

Letting the water drain and helping you up to your feet, he grabbed a nearby definitely-not-standard-Starfleet  extremely fluffy towel from the rack and ever so gently dried you off.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, you yawned, feeling so much better than just a mere few hours ago.

“Incoming,” he warned, throwing you your pair of pajamas, and lastly, your panties to your face.

You did your best to scowl at him, but failed as you ended up chuckling at his antics.

 “Why don’t you go get yourself comfortable on the couch, and I’ll bring you something to eat?” He suggested, placing another hand on your forehead.

You nodded. When he was satisfied that the heat behind your skin had lessened, he left for the kitchen to get you your dinner. 

Stretching yourself out on the couch, you reached out for the plaid blanket draped over the cushions, while scrolling through the tv guide for something to watch. 

The scent of chicken noodle soup filled the air, turning your gaze towards the hallway as Leonard emerged with two bowls of soup and a hypo all balanced on a tray.

“Found anything eye catching yet?” He asked, carefully handling over your bowl. 

“Not yet,” You replied, thanking him with a nod. “How’s your day been?”

You scooped up spoonful after spoonful of soup as you listen to him talk about those unfortunate to be stuck down in the medbay. Idiots, he had called them. 

When you and Leonard both had your fill, you watched as Leonard picked up the hypo. Knowing the routine, you tilted your head to the side, so he had better access to your neck.You felt his warm fingers splayed around your throat, seeking out a landmark for the injection. 

“Quick pinch,” He warned. You closed your eyes before the slight sting, which was made instantly better by his gentle massage. 

You must have made a noise of happiness as he stopped, softly kissing your forehead. Sickness be damned. He was a doctor, he didn’t get sick.

“Stay right where you are, darlin, and let me go get those ice cream,” He grinned at you, before moving off the couch. 

It took a few minutes before you finally decided on the cheesy, yet classic movie: The Titanic. Leonard returned with two ice creams and spoons, placing them within arms distance  on the coffee table in front.

At last, he snuggled up closer to you, pulling you tighter to him. “What are we watching, sweetheart?”

“The Titanic,” You grinned at him, enjoying the relaxed smile he had beaming on his face. 

“Of course,” He rolled his eyes good naturedly, but settled in.

“Leonard?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“My pleasure, sugar.”

 (My masterlist is also up for those interested)

#cold season #flu season #need a doctor? #leonard mccoy #leonard bones mccoy #bones mccoy #leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #star trek #star trek aos

[venus-says]

Healin' Good Precure Episodes 19-20

Anju looks good in purple.

I'm gonna be honest with you all here, I don't know how to start this one. I've watched these two episodes back to back TWICE and I have so many mixed feelings, I have no idea how to put my thoughts in a cohesive order for this post to make at least a little bit of sense. So bear with me because I have a lot of conflicting emotions.

So beginning from the basic stuff, Episode 19 was strong, with great emotional moments, and I loved it for almost all of its run-time. Episode 20 was a bit of a letdown, the emotional parts didn't work as well, and what were supposed to be great moments felt like they needed a little more gas to me, and how things were solved in this episode made me like the previous one a little less than I did on my first watching.

You see, my major problem with how both of these episodes went down is that the pay off for the build-up wasn't exactly that satisfying.

When the matter is Mid-season Cures, my preference will always go to when the character that will become said Cure has already been introduced before because these are characters we already know and already had some development so when the "Curefication" happens that moment feels like a turning point or an essential moment for those previously established characters arcs. When they become Cures, it's rewarding, it's exciting, and when they need to integrate that character with the original group it feels more natural because they already knew each other, at least to a certain level.

Cure Earth's case falls under the situation I like the least, where a character comes out of nowhere, transforms, and saves the day. And I don't know how to feel about those situations because I don't know that character, I don't know how I should feel about them. When they just appear it's not a rewarding build-up, it's frustrating. It feels like a Cure Ex-Machina and it can ruin what in other circumstances could've been a great moment. And the way things happened in these two episodes felt just like that.

Episode 19 was everything centered around Rate, it was an episode where we finally got to know more of her and see her thoughts for once in a situation where the girls had to run to fight a monster right after. She was sick, she was feeling weak and powerless, and the entire episode was walking in a path where Rate would be the main star. Whatever happened there, it should be Rate in the spotlight, it was Rate's moment. But in the end, she didn't do anything and she was just the poor, defenseless little puppy that she has been all this time along. And in Episode 20 she was robbed even more of her spotlight, she didn't even get a chance to help in the battle like the other healing animals and it felt like such a missed opportunity. The sensation I had was that originally Rate was supposed to give a group power-up at this moment and this would be like a level up for her, but because they're so bound in this "Sixth Ranger" tradition they changed the focus to a character that literally didn't exist before she was needed to exist.

And I feel like I would be more okay with this if Rate at least had an active participation in creating Asumi and making her Cure Earth, you know? Rather than making Teatinu being the one who awakened the spirit, it could've been Rate that did it, it would show how powerful she is and how much she has grown and it would go hand-in-hand with her conflicts we've seen earlier in the episode. It would also serve as the reason why Asumi feels so connected with Rate and her strong feelings about protecting her, without mentioning it would explain why Rate was able to bond with her and turn her into her Cure partner immediately instead of the three characters that for 20 episodes have been giving their all to take care of her.

With that being said, I also had many things that I liked in these two episodes. Seeing the girls caring for Rate in Episode 19 was very endearing, Nodoka waking up in the middle of the night to give her comfort, Chiyuu skipping club activities to be with her because she's concerned, Hinata taking advice from costumers of her family's clinic to give help on her own way, even Nodoka's father that was there just to be comic relief, all of these moments were pretty sweet.

And the magical-girl-centered part of the episode was pretty good as well. For example, I like that because Rate is sick with a real illness she can't feel the Earth calling for help so the girls go unaware of the Mega-Byougen wreaking havoc in the mountains which gave Batetemoda a huge head start so the monster was stronger than usual which lead to the cures being trapped in that situation, that eventually lead to Rate taking up action where it gave Batetemoda a chance to capture her which triggered Cure Earths birth at that moment. Aside from the problem of a character coming out of nowhere, it was a natural progression of events that had me on the edge of my seat for the entire second half of the episode.

And Earth's entrance was pretty cool as well, the way she fought the Mega-Byougen doing all of those jumps and kicks was amazing, and seeing her creating an Elemental Bottle made me go crazy. Her second fight on Episode 20 was even better, going toe-to-toe with Batetemoda and sweeping the floor with him and the powered-up Mega-Byougen, that was awesome. My mind went places when she reveals she's not a human, and that she's technically a newborn. That paired with how clueless she is about everything and how she acts a little silly at times made it for an awesome time following her around. I joked about it on twitter, but Asumi sounds exactly like Anju from PriChan, and not just because Mimori Suzuko is doing the exact same voice she does for Anju but because this "cluelessness" reminds me a lot of how Anju acts sometimes whenever she's hiding her true identity. I'm just waiting for the time where someone will do an AMV of Cure Earth with Fortune Karat playing in the background and an edit of Anju's coord change with Earth transformation song playing as the background.

Oh, and by the way, can we talk about how freaking gorgeous she is? Both in civilian and Cure form. Earth is one of the prettiest Cures ever and if you don't think so I recommend you to leave because I don't think we can be friends (jk, I condemn favorites shaming XD). I love her transformation, I love her attack, I love her weapon. I'm all here for these aesthetics and I have no doubt that in a couple of weeks I'll be here with an "I ♡ EARTH" headband and two purple lightsticks going "GO EARTH! GO EARTH!" because of that. Like, I can get tired of it??? From Rate's running to Asumi, to her grabbing Rate's little paws, to them snuggling each other TWICE, how her hair changes, and how she gets her earrings and the winged headpiece everything in that transformation is perfect. And gosh, the attack, after 20 episodes with attack animations that weren't all that exciting or inventive how fresh it feels to have a Healing Hurricane to blow us all away.

I think from these episodes the only thing I can't forgive it's the villains' side of things, again. Like, they just lost their more interesting member, and now I just don't feel as engaged with the villains once more. Also, that power-up thing coming from a Mega-Byougen fragment was also a bit meh. More because we haven't really seen that being mentioned before, you know? And it's not like they didn't have the chance to explain it either, I believe Batetemoda was born from something with similar properties so they could've introduced this element before. I don't know, I'm just sad my good boy is gone and now we're stuck again with those boring three and the main villain that probably had less screen time than a side character so far.

Another sadness was the new ending. I'm sorry y'all but I don't like this song, I don't like this dance, I don't like the visuals for this ending, and I'm just very sad. I'm gonna miss Miracle tto Link♡Ring SO SO MUCH... and this Ending doesn't even have hints for what the next season will be, I'm sad.

Oh well, like I said CONFLICTING FEELINGS, I'm a mess but I hope I could pass my point to everyone. If you have anything to share about these episodes or my thoughts please let me know in the comments down below. I believe that's all for now, don't forget to stay healthy, stay safe, and never stop resisting. Thank you so much for reading, and until the next time, Healin' Goodbye~

#Healin' Good Precure #precure