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aahsokaatano · 1 year

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Fuck it. Best quotes from chapter 1 of "Gender Trouble" by Judith Butler, in the opinion of a nonbinary trans man, because I'm sick of her words being twisted by TERFs.

"gender is not always constituted coherently or consistently in different historical contexts, and... gender intersects with racial, class, ethnic, sexual, and regional modalities of discursively constituted identities" (p. 4)

"it may be time to entertain a radical critique that seeks to free feminist theory from the necessity of having to construct a single or abiding ground which is invariably contested by those identity positions or anti-identity positions that it invariably excludes" (p. 7) (aka: TERFs can fuck right off)

""representation" will be shown to make sense for feminism only when the subject of "women" is nowhere presumed" (p. 8)

"there is no reason to assume that genders ought to also remain as two" (p. 9)

"when the constructed status of gender is theorized as radically independent of sex, gender itself becomes a free-floating artifice, with the consequences that man and masculine might just as easily signify a female body as a male one, and woman and feminine a male body as easily as a female one" (p. 9)

"If the immutable character of sex is contested, perhaps this construct called "sex" is as culturally constructed as gender; indeed, perhaps is was always already gender, with the consequence that the distinction between sex and gender turns out to be no distinction at all" (p. 9-10)

"The limits of discursive analysis of gender presuppose and preempt the possibilities of imaginable and realizable gender configurations within culture... Constraint is thus built into what that language constitutes as the imaginable domain of gender" (p. 12) (aka: the possibilities of gender are only limited by the language of the time, rather than any limits of 'nature' or 'culture')

“As a shifting and contextual phenomenon, gender does not denote a substantive being, but a relative point of convergence among culturally and historically specific sets of relations” (p. 14)

“The interpretive possibilities of gender are in no sense exhausted by the alternative suggested above” (p. 15)

“[Simone de] Beauvoir proposes that the female body ought to be the situation and instrumentality of women’s freedom, not a defining and limiting essence... Despite my own previous efforts to argue the contrary, it appears that Beauvoir maintains the mind/body dualism” (p. 16) (aka: Beauvoir argues that the mind and the body are inextricably linked when it comes to gender, Butler sees this as playing directly into the patriarchal systems that Beauvoir claims to oppose.)

“Feminist critique ought to explore the totalizing claims of a masculinist signifying economy, but also remain self-critical with respect to the totalizing gestures of feminism” (p. 18) (aka: stop generalizing! Stop treating “men” as a monolithic enemy!)

“oppressions cannot be summarily ranked” (p. 19)

“the insistence upon the coherence and unity of the category of women has effectively refused the multiplicity of cultural, social, and political intersections in which the concrete array of “women” are constructed” (p. 19) (aka: trying to define ‘women’ with specific parameters will always lead to the exclusion of people who consider themselves to be women)

“It would be wrong to assume in advance [of forming a coalition/community] that there is a category of “women” that simply needs to be filled in with various components of race, class, age, ethnicity and sexuality in order to become complete” (p. 20-21)

“Gender is a complexity whose totality is permanently deferred, never fully what it is at any given juncture in time” (p. 22) (aka: gender is a concept that is always in motion and never static)

“Indeed, precisely because certain kinds of “gender identities” fail to conform to those norms of cultural intelligibility [being cishet], they appear only as developmental failures or logical impossibilities from within that domain. Their persistence and proliferation, however, provide critical opportunities to expose the limits and regulatory aims of that domain of intelligibility” (p. 24) (aka: going outside of the cisgender binary exposes the shortfalls and potholes in the cultural expectation of being cisgender)

“[Previous theorists claim that] one is one’s gender to the extent that one is not the other gender, a formulation that presupposes and enforces the restriction of a gender within that binary pair” (p. 30) (aka: working with only two options (cis male or cis female) limits and outright disregards the lived experiences of people who exist outside that binary)

“The institution of a compulsory and naturalized heterosexuality requires and regulates gender as a binary relation in which the masculine term is differentiated from a feminine term, and this differentiation is accomplished through the practices of heterosexual desire” (p. 31) (aka: sticking to a rigid gender binary only furthers the goals of a cishet-normative culture that seeks to destroy the ‘other’ - in this case, people who are not cishet.)

“In this sense, gender is not a noun, but neither is it a set of free-floating attributes, for we have seen that the substantive effect of gender is performatively produced and compelled by the regulatory practices of gender coherence” (p. 34) (aka: gender cannot be ascribed to secondary sex traits (following a brief case study of an intersex individual), and is therefore a cultural performance)

“There is no gender identity behind the expressions of gender; that identity is performatively constituted by the very “expressions” that are said to be its results” (p. 34)

“[In the writings of Luce Irigaray] the return to biology as the ground of a specific feminine sexuality or meaning seems to defeat the feminist premise that biology is not destiny” (p. 41)

“The “unity” of gender is the effect of a regulatory practice that seeks to render gender identity uniform through a compulsory heterosexuality” (p. 43) (aka: the gender binary as we know it is the result of heterosexuality being enforced through cultural and legal channels, in an effort to dispel any queerness.)

“The presumption [in this book] is that the “being” of gender is an effect” (p. 45)

“Gender is the repeated stylization of the body, a set of repeated acts within a highly rigid regulatory frame that congeal over time to produce the appearance of substance” (p. 45)

Butler’s overall thesis statement/research question: “To what extent do regulatory practices of gender formation and division constitute identity, the internal coherence of the subject, indeed, the self-identical status of the person? To what extent is “identity” a normative ideal rather than a descriptive feature of experience? And how do the regulatory practices that govern gender also govern culturally intelligible notions of identity?” (p. 23) (aka: how does one’s environment and culture inform gender expression? Why is gender so closely linked with one’s sense of self?)

#judith butler #gender troubles #quotes #my stuff

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featherlight42 · 1 year

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they/it

is that anything

reblog if u agree

#gender troubles

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panrao · 4 months

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Spoilers, it's dysphoria

#panrao #my art #sir crocodile #crocomom #crocodad #dadodile #one piece #monkey d luffy #tony tony chopper #my take on the mama or dad conversation #luffy has trouble understanding gender and the intricate meanings different words have #He considers Crocodile very much male #but also calls him mom since to him it's the most literal meaning he can think of #he doesnt mean it in a demeaning way but since he gave birth to Luffy=mom in Luffys mind #Croco quickly clears up any misunderstandings about his gender #with his hook lmao #Luffy only gets away with it because Crocodile has a soft spot for him #of course all very much headcanon and not canon (yet..)

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thebluekid-underyourbed · 1 year

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MY GENDEEERRR

Alt:

Discord conversation between my friend and I:

Me: This is so real there is only one gender

Friend: It's mine. Yeah I have it I'm sorry

Me: FUCK noooo I want the gender todaaayyy

Friend: yeah sorry my bad

Me: MOM SAID IT'S MY TURN WITH THE GENDER

Friend: see the thing is I took y'all's gender and then I put it in a chunk but then I walked away and all the stuff despawned sorry yeah we can't get it back my bad

Me: WHAT NOOOOOO MY GENDEEEERRRRR

#gender troubles

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nenehyuuchiha · 4 months

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#trans #queer coding #amethyst #nimona #meme #don't know/remember the other two #nonbinary #steven universe #she ra #dragon ball #i guess #zarbon #double trouble #shapeshifter #zam wesell #star wars #gotta be one of my favorite genders

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samd1o1 · 2 months

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There's obviously way more nby characters out there be these are the ones I know and are my faves!

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writingforthelonelysoul · 2 years

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Life goal: to look like one of those hella androgynous anime characters that you literally can’t tell the gender of.

Re; Yut-Lung from Banana Fish, Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle, Akito from Fruits Basket, Haku from Naruto.

#experiencing immense gender dysphoria rn #i want to be called Sir by a cashier #i want to be a Boy #but none of my friends know #and my family is not safe to tell #gender #gender troubles #genderfluid

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disaster-theysbian · 10 months

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Gotta say, I've been out as a lesbian for 3 years and nonbinary for a year and a half. And I've noticed something.

Just because someone *always* gets your name and pronous correct, and angrily calls out anyone who forgets, doesn't necessarily mean they support you.

Conversely, just because someone struggles to remember your name and pronouns, or can't wrap their head around gender neutral/neo pronouns at all, doesn't necessarily mean they DON'T support you.

This is applicable to any situation really not just queer shit. Watch what people do, not just what they say, and you will find your friends. Someone might shower you with compliments and have common interests with you, but what happens when you tell them no? Do they get angry when they are corrected? Do they have kind things to say about other people?

My colleagues wouldn't know a gender-neutral pronoun if one hit them in the face with a dictionary, but they make sure I've had a lunch break and get home safely. They have my back if I have a difficult patient. They defend me against other staff members who like to create drama and bitch about people as if they're still in the school playground. If someone has something to say about me being a big ol' queer, they make it known that discrimination has no place in our unit.

My best friend in the whole entire world forgets my name and pronouns every day. When the organisers of her therapy group changed "men and women" to "people" and "he/she" to "they" in order to be more inclusive, there was outcry. Everything from the "it just doesn't sound right" grammar-policing nonsense to the "f*cking special snowflakes are offended by everything". She came down on them like a ton of bricks. She said if the organisers hadn't told them that it was changing, that they wouldn't have noticed. She told them they obviously haven't loved someone outside of the gender binary and they were missing out. She then told them how she had seen me grow and develop since I came out, and how in awe she was of the person I had become. No, she doesn't understand it at all, but why should that mean that she can't be there for me and appreciate how happy I am to be able to be me? Why should that mean, because you lot don't understand it, that someone with the same issues as the rest of the therapy group feels unsafe and unwelcome and doesn't get their issues resolved? As a result, a few of them changed their minds, INCLUDING HER OWN FATHER, and the rest at least shut the hell up about it.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...

A queer person who used my correct name and pronouns delighted in making me walk on eggshells, inventing reasons to be angry with me, convinced me I was a terrible person and even went as far as to try and turn me against my own therapist. They tried to tell me that my therapist only said I was a good person because she was paid to, and that because they themselves had a psychology degree that they could tell I had all these complexes and needed to work hard to be a good person, and it was unlikely I'd never get there. (I chose to listen to my therapist and stop being friends with this person).

A queer person who used my correct name and pronouns continued to do things that made me uncomfortable when I asked them to stop. Never said in as many words "you're not allowed to hang out with your friends" but conveniently had an emergency every time I had plans, and accused me of being uncaring if I needed my own space. They knew I had difficulty asking for help, but still got angry with me when I asked because I didn't ask "soon enough".

A queer person who used my correct name and pronouns told me they would look after me and they didnt. .

A queer person threatened to misgender me MORE when I corrected them.

I'm just saying, that if you choose to yeet everyone who doesn't get your name and pronouns right... that doesn't necessarily make you safe. We live in a very binary world. As much as we want that to change, it won't if we ignore or shout at the bits we don't like. (Believe me, I've tried).

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melloeyed · 11 months

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Double Trouble

Johnathan Ohnn (The Spot) X GN! Reader

A/N: The reader has the same superpowers as The Polka-Dot Man from The Suicide Squad only with a few added cosmic quirks. Enjoy!

On the busy streets of Brooklyn, The Spot and Y/N walk past the oblivious citizens, donning their ‘inconspicuous’ disguises. Spot only had on a loose grey gym jacket, green sunglasses, and a brown wrinkled fedora, while Y/N wore a orange bucket hat, purple glasses, and an oversized red Hawaiian shirt.

Their disguises barely even covered the multiple spots on their pale skin. How the hell did they even go unnoticed?

The disguised duo walked towards the convenience store window, cupping their hands on the window in sync as they lean their heads in to get a better view.

“Ok, remember the plan?” Spot whispered.

“This is so stupid…” Y/N muttered.

“It’ll work, trust me!”

“Yeah, right. My idea was better!”

“Oh, just shut up and follow my lead!”

Y/N rolls their multicolored dot eyes as they follow Spot in the convenience store, re-running his plan in their head.

‘Distract the cashier while I steal the money from the ATM machine. Got it?’

Y/N sighs, walking towards the food isles. They clutch onto their rainbow backpack straps in anticipation as they peek over one the food isles, glancing at Spot, waiting for the signal.

“Excuse me, do you have uh, an ATM machine?” The Spot asked the cashier. “Yeah, around here in the back.” The cashier replied, barely looking at Spot.

“Preferably not chained to the wall…?” Spot muttered.

“What?”

“Uh, nothing!”

Y/N’s dot eyes lit up when the Spot looked at them, gesturing his head towards the cashier while walking towards the ATM. Y/N clenched their spotted fists as they take a deep breath, squeezing their eyes shut.

‘You got this, Y/N. You got this!’ They whispered to themself.

Y/N slowly jogs towards the cashier, rolling their shoulders in preparation. They clear their throat, trying to think of a distracting conversation to start.

“Uh, hi! I, uh…heard there was this…beverage…snack that uh…just came out. And I was wondering uh, where…do you sell it here…? If you do sell it here… can you, uh…tell me…where you…sell it? Which is…here…?” Y/N asked, sheepishly. The cashier just kept his eyes glued to the phone as a short pause passed.

Real clever, Y/N.

“What? I have no idea what you mean, man.” The cashier said, not even bothering to look at them. Embarrassment and frustration began to bubble in Y/N’s chest as they quickly tried to think of another distraction. Looking towards Spot’s direction, they tried their best not to facepalm when they see him struggling with the ATM.

Y/N though that this plan was the most ridiculous! It was boring, slow-paced, and embarrassing! They glance back towards the cashier, partially relieved that he didn’t bother to look up. Looking around quickly, Y/N tries to distract the cashier again. They burst out into fake laughter.

“Hahahaha! Hahaha! Y-You’re so funny! You don’t…know what I mean! Hahaha! You’re a…funny guy!” They said, with the most ‘convincing’ laughs.

Y/N was not good at this.

They quickly stopped their laughing and tried to think of another diversion, clearing their throat again.

“Uh… w-what I mean is-“

“Hey, who left this ATM on the sidewalk?” Someone said outside.

Oh, shit.

Y/N heart began to quicken when the cashier finally looked up. They both turn towards the loud banging noise from the back of the store along with the frustrated grunts that came with it. The Spot was trying to forcefully push the whole ATM through the smaller portal by bouncing on top of it. Repeat, tried. Y/N couldn’t take it anymore.

“Are you fucking serious?!” They shouted.

“Yo, what you doing back here, man?” The cashier said, picking up a bat and surprisingly ignoring Y/N. (Which offended them.)

“Nothing, nothing. Everything’s cool, man. All good.” Spot said, jumping on top of the ATM to push it even further into the portal, “Just forgot my PIN number-“

“Get yourself out of here!”

The cashier tries to hit Spot with the bat, but thankfully he dodges it in time. On instinct, Y/N runs towards the cashier, balling their fists preparing to attack. The multicolored polka dots on their skin quickly began to glow along with their dot eyes.

Before quickly flickering off like a lightbulb.

Y/N looks at their hands, baffled by the failed attempt to use their powers.

“What?! No! Not now!” They shouted.

“Uh, Y/N a little help here!” Spot shouted, cowering away from the cashier’s swings. Y/N runs after the two trying to land a blow on the back of cashier’s head, only to end up slipping on a soda can and falling hard on their butt. On the ground, Y/N rolls their eyes when they hear Spot’s pathetic comments towards the aggressive man while he dropped different products from the isles.

“Sir, please just let us rob you!”

“There’s no reason to bring wood into this!”

“We’ve never robbed anybody in our life, please don’t make this a bad experience for us!”

“Bad experience? I’m trying to run a business here!” The angry cashier replied.

“With your goddamn head in the clouds?!” Y/N snarked at him, getting back on their feet.

Only to end up slipping and falling on their face.

“Why is the floor so slippery?!”

This was the duo’s very first robbery attempt. Obviously, Spot and Y/N didn’t have the best resources at hand when it came to being bad guys, but they were never the type of criminals to give up easily. Especially, Spot.

Y/N had a strong feeling that her partner in crime was a whole lot nervous than they were for their first robbery. Y/N was already fed up at the soft attempts of beginning their villainy, but can you blame them? They just wanted to get dangerous, kick some ass, and burn down buildings! But, the Spot was always there to dial them down.

Ever since the explosion incident that happened a year ago, the duo agreed to stick together and began to get ahold of their newfound cursed powers. They had pretty awesome powers too! I mean what could be better than having ability to make portals that can go to anywhere and anyplace you desire or summon glowing multicolored polka dots with omnipotent destructive powers?

There were a few gimmicks of their powers here and there, but to be honest, they could barely control it!

And now here the two were.

One running away from an angry cashier with a bat, while the other continues to slip and fall on the cluttered slippery floor with each step they take.

After the longest 23 seconds of their lives, Spot finally managed to trap the cashier in a nearby portal and Y/N finally gets up without slipping. Y/N helps Spot get his foot unstuck from one of the shelves. After the two quickly run towards the ATM, they place soda cans on the ground to push the large machine more easily.

“I told you this was a bad plan!” Y/N spat.

“Oh, yeah, that figures considering how much of a big help you were back there!” Spot spat back.

“Hey, the floor was already slippery before and if you weren’t such a klutz back there, I would’ve already handled him!” Y/N said.

“Well, what was I supposed to do?! Just sit there and let him hit me?!” Spot fired back.

“Hmm, I dunno maybe teleport him outta here! I’m sure it doesn’t take a genius!”

“Hey, I can’t think straight when I’m under pressure! You’ve known that since the day we met! Stop treating me like I’m a wuss!”

“That’s because you are one, when it comes to situations like this! Plus, my plan would’ve been a whole lot better!”

“Your plan was nuts!”

“I just said that we should walk into the store, knock out the cashier, time him up, lock him in the janitors closet, get the money, and get rid of the evidence by burning down the building!”

“With the cashier inside?!”

“…Yeah!”

“You are a very violent person and a bad sidekick.”

“What? I like violence! Plus, my powers are more cooler than yours so who the hell are you callin’ a sidekick?”

“Whatever, let’s just hurry up and get this ATM machine out of here before the police-“

“Why do people say ATM machine?” A voice said.

Spot and Y/N jolt up, looking around in surprise. “Huh? Who said that?” Spot asked.

The duo looked behind them and see Spider-man himself, hanging upside-down from the ceiling, casually eating a beef empanada. “The ‘M’ stands for ‘machines’!“ He finished.

“Spider-Man!” Spot and Y/N said in sync.

The duo felt the floor disappearing beneath their feet as they fell through an accidental portal, only to end up reappearing in the next isle, falling harshly from the ceiling to the floor. Spot and Y/N’s disguises only end up coming off during the fall, revealing their bare, pale, and spotted bodies.

The Spot only had black spots of different sizes covering his pale lanky body, his face being completely blank with only the largest black spot plastered across his face resembling a scribbled eye.

Y/N had multicolored polka dots covering their body, the bright colors contrasting from their light grayish skin. Their face is completely blank as well, with only two mismatched color dot eyes to show their expressions.

They groan in pain as Spot helps them up from the floor, nearly slipping again, but regains balance. They dust themself off as they look forward, seeing Spot jumping around in preparation as Spider-Man walks in front of them.

“Ah! Spider-Man, wow,” The Spot began, before he hit his foot against a box, yelping in pain, “This is real!”

Y/N tilts their head in exasperation at their partner’s action. “Johnathan, what are you-“

“Alright, Y/N, prepare your introduction.” He whispered back.

“My what?” Y/N whisper-shouted.

Spider-Man glances back and forth between the spotted duo, baffled, yet immersed by their bizarre and wacky appearance. “So are you like a cow or a dalmation?” He asked gesturing at Spot. He then glanced at Y/N and gestured at them, “And are you like supposed to be a clown or a painting?”

“I am…The Spot.”

Y/N looks at Spot with a, ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ face. “I’m sure that sounded a lot cooler in your mind.” They address. Spot just ignored them and stretched his arms out to them in a presenting manner.

“And this is my trusty sidekick…The Dot.”

“I never agreed to…never mind.” Y/N said.

Spot leans against the isles, propping his elbow on it, while placing his hand on his hip. Bread begins to spill out of the holes in his torso.

Y/N looks at him and quickly folds their arms leaning against the other side of the isle, nearly slipping in the process, trying to look cool and intimidating.

“We meet again, Spider-Man.” Spot began, ‘menacingly’.

“And we have a lot to catch up on.” Y/N finished, ‘menacingly’.

Spider-Man just laughs, pointing his empanada at the duo in an amused manner.

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butchshevik · 1 year

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no but really the focus on pronouns Determining Actual Gender And Having Unique Social Roles in lgbt spaces is absolutely bizarre and beyond any form of basic material analysis of gender it exists in the real world. like speaking from experience you can literally be a stone butch lesbian who goes out of ur way to exclusively dress in traditionally masculine clothes, who uses a masculine name, who intentionally and explicitly plays a complex and deeply nonconforming gender role as both social performance art and for personal fulfilment, and then get lumped in by other lgbt people in the category of "she/her type" (and, more broadly, if you use she/her and are afab, you inevitably get labeled as 'cis' regardless of your actual gender performance as interpreted by the world writ large) just because you dont care enough about pronouns to determine and enforce the use of any others for yourself

#i think ultimately from a Sincere Gender Studies Position the fixation on pronoun use is a reflection of the performative nature of gender #being taken to its natural extreme by people who read half of gender troubles and both understand that Gender is a Role We Play For Others #and paradoxically wanting to be recognized and respected in that role even though they understand that its a losing game #and further i think that ultimately linguistically pronouns are a hot cultural point in english speaking countries #but the shitty nitty gritty of gender and its identifiers being a construct of colonial import #is that if we lived in a planned culture where such a thing could be mandated we should move to a one-pronoun system without the capacity #for assigned gender roles #not have multiple (countless) pronoun configurations with an Assigned Gender Role for each one #but thats just my two cents

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neon-junkie · 1 year

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Knee-deep in Trouble

Summary: If there's one thing worse than being stuck in a snow storm, it's being stuck in a snow storm with your least favourite squad mate - Crosshair.

Pairing: Crosshair x gn!Reader

Word count: 2.6k

Tags: Enemies to friends, Huddling for warmth, Snow storms, Arguments, Bickering, Sleepy cuddles, Touch starved.

Notes: the recent episode got me THINKIN. yeah, i wanna cuddle this man, but... what if we hated each others guts? and we HAVE to cuddle for our own survival? mwahahah

Out of all the scenarios that could have happened today, this one just had to arise.

First, you were cut off from the rest of the Batch. Your comm lost signal as the snowstorm began to thicken, and all hopes of communicating the others dwindled as your main focus became finding shelter.

Your armour is only doing so much to keep you warm, and only now do you curse yourself for not opting for a helmet. A thick hood, scarf, and goggles are doing well at protecting your face, but the chill continues to seep into your bones as every second passes.

And even now, knee-deep in snow, trudging towards the mountain in hopes of finding some sort of shelter, you still manage to bark up another argument with your least favourite member of the Batch. "Hurry up," Crosshairs words are sharp, peering over his shoulder for a short moment to see you following behind. You're using his tracks to your advantage, pushing through the loose snow, allowing him to take the lead like a bulldozer.

You let out a grunt, "not all of us have stupidly long legs." Crosshair doesn't bother replying. There's no point. Instead, he pushes forward, and keeps his helmet dipped down to protect his sights from the incoming snow. Minutes pass, although time has blurred into one. All you've known for the last thirty minutes is to push forward, keep walking, and follow Crosshair's trail. Through your goggles, all you can see is white - thick heaps of snow that only continues to pile higher and higher. The mountain is now within your reach, and you follow the edge, waiting for some form of shelter to appear.

"This will do," Crosshair comments as he comes upon an assortment of boulders, providing some shelter from the storm. With a frown, you let out a disappointed, "is this it?" as you gesture to the tiny crevices that will barely keep you covered, let alone warm.

Despite not being able to see Crosshair's expression, you know he's scowling as he gestures to the surrounding area. "Do you see any other options?"

No, you don't, but you're not going to give up hope. "I'm going to push on," you say as you turn back to him, and vaguely gesture into the distance. Surely there will be a cave up ahead, or a cliff that provides cover. There must be something better than some rogue boulders.

Pushing through the snow, Crosshair grabs at your forearm with a tut. "You will not," he scolds. "We need to stick together. This is as good as it's going to get," Crosshair points to the 'shelter,' and you pull your hand from his in disgust, let out a grumble with it. "I'm going," you repeat. "You can sit with your boulder buddies and freeze to death. I'll find a cave, get warm, then collect your body once the storm has passed." With that, you continue moving forwards, unbothered if Crosshair chooses to follow. His lips purse in annoyance, and he's rather vocal about his frustration. Still, he follows you, telling himself that it's purely for the fact that you're going to get yourself killed, and he'll be the one collecting bodies. The mountain itself would provide decent cover, if it wasn't for the fact that the snow is falling against your direction. One gloved hand comes up to move your scarf higher on your face, tucking the edges beneath your goggles to prevent it from slipping down again. At least your nose is warm, the complete opposite to your toes.

Despite his armour's heating system, Crosshair is now really starting to feel the chill. His teeth are clattering together beneath his helmet, and every so often, his fingertips brush over one of his belt pouches. Inside are the tools necessary to start a fire, and he'll be damned if those tools are somehow taken from him, despite never falling out of his pocket before. Your feet come to a halt, and Crosshair, who isn't looking up, bumps into your back with a grumble. "What is it?" he groans as you look over your shoulder, silently cursing him for running into you without an apology. "What does that look like?" you point ahead. Crosshair squints through his visor, before flicking his helmet's scope down to zoom in on the area up ahead. "A cave," he mutters.

"I told you I was right," you shrug, and you're met with another grumble. "Don't let it get to your head," Crosshair huffs as he pushes past you, eager to get out of this knee-deep snow. With a roll of your eyes, you follow behind, allowing Crosshair to clear the last stretch of your journey. The cave is deep, stretching far deeper than you require. You only need shelter, not another adventure, so you and Crosshair pitch yourselves several meters from the entrance. For the first time in what feels like hours, snow and wind is no longer against you; all you need to do now is stay warm, and stay alive.

Once his helmet is removed, Crosshair crouches down and begins pulling supplies from his belt pouch. It's standard GAR equipment, but it's enough to get a fire up and running, and hopefully, keep it burning for longer than you need. However, once lit, the flame is... disappointing. "Is that it?" you sigh, looking at the meek fire at your feet. Crosshair looks up at you whilst feeding the remains of his supplies to the flame, encouraging it to grow, even if it's just a little. Despite the tiny flicker of light, your goggles begin to steam up, so they're reassigned to sitting on your forehead, allowing you to give your eyes a well-needed rub, and relax your scarf around your neck. "This pack is usually only assigned to one person," Crosshair replies, watching you sit down opposite him. You know that the clones are kitted with essentials to survive, which would explain why Crosshair only has enough for himself. If only you had your backpack with you - the backpack that is sitting back on the Marauder, because this mission was meant to be a simple retrieval, until you wound up separated from the others, and lost in a snow storm. "It's better than nothing, I suppose." Crosshair lets out a simple, "mhm," as he gets comfortable opposite you.

Silence fills the air, minus the howling winds coming from down the cave. Silence - as in, the silence between you and Crosshair - is common. You've never really seen eye to eye, both too stubborn for your own good. Maybe that's why he went after you when the Batch split up, covering different routes as part of your mission. He must have known that you would wind up in trouble, which is why he told Wrecker to go with Hunter instead, pairing himself up with you. You are his squad mate, after all. Far from a friend, but still an asset to the team. "What is it?" Crosshair questions, and only now do you realise that you've been staring at him.

"Nothing," you reply with a firm shake of your head. Crosshair's eyes squint for a brief moment, before he decides to bite his tongue, and not bother pushing your buttons. (For once.) "Why don't you get some rest?" Crosshair suggests, which might be his first good suggestion of the day. Maker knows how long this storm will brew for, and you need to be physically prepared for more trudging through that snow, which must be thigh high at this point.

"Only if you do the same," you reply. Such kind words cause Crosshair's eyes to widen, only for a moment, before he pulls his emotional mask back on. There's no need for either of you to be on watch, and despite your disliking for the man, the bags under his eyes are as heavy as yours. Rest is needed, for both of you.

"You first. I'll follow," Crosshair replies with a soft nod. "I want to finish warming myself up first." With a light sigh, you shift onto your side, pulling your knees up against your chest. The fire is warm against your face, and hopefully, it'll continue to warm the rest of your body up as you sleep. Your hood acts as the thinnest pillow in existence, but it's thick enough to keep the chill of the cave floor away from your ear, and you'll take what you can get. Finally, your lases flutter shut, and it doesn't take eternity for you to drift into a deep slumber.

Crosshair is loitering.

Why? He doesn't really know. You've been asleep for an hour, and in that time, Crosshair has cleaned the snow from his armour and rifle, wandered deeper into the cave to find the remains of another campfire, long forgotten, and scavenged the leftovers from it. The fire is eating away at new material, yet Crosshair is still huddling close to it, as if it's a fading source of warmth. There's a chill in his bones that he can't seem to shake off. No matter what he does, no matter how warm he feels on the surface, his insides feel cold. With slanted brows, he brings his knees up to his chest, and wraps his armoured arms around his thighs. Silver hair rests against his forearm as he presses his cheek to his knees, breathing deeply as his eyes shut. He can't relax. He can't warm up. Crosshair thinks, questioning what to do. He's oh-so-tense, and his muscles are long worn out from shivering. However, it seems he's not the only person who has a chill within them. Crosshair's eyes perk open at the sound of whimpering. There, on the cave floor, is you, sound asleep; only you're not sound asleep. You're shivering, curled up in a ball besides the fire, struggling to maintain heat in the depths of your slumber. Untucking himself from his position, Crosshair pulls his glove off to press his palm against your cheek. There's barely any warmth to you, and it's a mystery how you've not woken up. Crosshair has found himself in a predicament. Despite not being the best of friends, Crosshair doesn't want you, nor himself, to freeze to death. The fire is growing, but it's still not enough for either of you. He has an idea - a silly, foolish idea that you're bound to hate him even more for - but he can't bring himself to wake you up and offer the suggestion.

Well, what if he doesn't have to wake you? A deep grumble slips from his lips as he ponders his options. Surely you'll understand, right? It's not like there are any other options, and you can't hate him any more than you already do.

With that, Crosshair slips his glove back on and rises to his feet. He walks over to you, tilting his head as he analyses your curled up pose, questioning how he can fit with you - like pieces to a puzzle. He's quiet as he dips down to his knees, tucking his body behind yours. Crosshair remains propped up on one elbow, and cautiously positions his legs around yours, followed by his torso. You've barely shifted in your sleep, jittering away whilst soft huffs slip from your lips, only your whimpering seems to calm as Crosshair places his hand around your waist, ensuring that it's firmly in the centre of your torso, not wondering north or south. With that, he shifts himself off his elbow, allowing his head to rest against the cave floor. This isn't his first time sleeping on the floor, nor stone floor, for that matter; still, it's uncomfortable, but he'll take what he can get. After letting out a deep breath, Crosshair finally bites the bullet. Using the arm wrapped around your waist, Crosshair pulls your body against his, fitting perfectly together. He's cuddling you, in some form or other, but there are instant results. Your jittering is coming to an end, and somehow, Crosshair is already managing to feel warmth growing inside his chest.

Or are those butterflies?

Whatever. He allows his eyes to fall shut, and finally gets some rest.

It's not often that you drool in your sleep. However, this is one of those few occasions. The sensation of your drool dripping over your cheek shakes your body awake, and through groggy vision, you move a hand off your pillow to wipe your spit away. Your arm returns to your pillow, clutching onto it tighter as you pull it against your chest. Something firm is pressed to your cheek - firm, yet warm, like plastoid armour on a-

Wait.

You let out a soft, "huh?" as your eyes open, soon focusing on familiar red and black armour. Somebody's chest plate is acting as your pillow, along with their arm, keeping your head off the cave floor.

Ah, yes. The cave. The cave that you entered to shelter from the snowstorm, and of all the people that you could have been thrown into the deep end with, it just happened to be-

"Would you stop fidgeting?" a rather frustrated, yet quiet voice calls out. Looking up through your lashes, your eyes come into focus with Crosshair, who is attempting to sleep. His expression is neutral, eyes shut, and dare you say it, but Crosshair looks rather sweet when he's cooped up at your side.

You let out a sheepish, "sorry." Your eyes wander around the cave, soon meeting the entrance. It's light outside, the sun is shining down overhead, and the snow looks far tamer than it was last night. Your way out might not be as cursed after all, but a new issue has risen. Crosshair is softly snoring, and his grip on you is deadly. He is not letting go, or at least, not without a fight. For a man who prefers his own company, he seems rather touch starved, and whilst you clash heads with him, you're content with giving him the comfort that he so clearly needs.

And it's a good thing that you're content with this scenario, as Crosshair rolls over onto his side, engulfing you deeper into his grasp.

Sure, plastoid armour isn't the comfiest thing to cuddle, but the man beneath it is. Your chest is pressed to his, legs tangled up together, and Crosshair's arms are holding you tightly against him. He's rather soothing like this, your personal teddy bear, but you know that he's only doing this for warmth. It pains you; you may not get along, but you can't deny that you aren't soft on him. Perhaps your soft spot is mutual, as despite your clashing heads, Crosshair wouldn't do this if he truly disliked you.

"Go back to sleep," Crosshair quietly mutters, his voice barely audible above his deep breaths.

"What?" you stir, peering up to see his tired expression, eyes remaining shut.

"I can hear you thinking," he replies. The hand around your waist moves up, and gloved fingertips entwine themselves in your hair. Crosshair begins to softly massage your scalp, earning a pleasant hum, and for your eyes to close. "Quit thinking, and get some rest," Crosshair demands once more.

Mhm, can't argue with that. You allow yourself to become engulfed in warmth, pressing your chest tighter against Crosshair's, with your forehead resting against his collarbones. His fingers continue to glide against your hair, offering nothing but comfort.

In this moment, you feel nothing but safe and secure. Crosshair is doing all he can to keep you warm, and you've been the fool for being so harsh on him - not that your harshness isn't reciprocated. And it seems you're as touch starved as he is, as you're clinging onto him for dear life, soaking up all the physical contact that you can get.

Maybe it's time to turn over a new leaf, see eye to eye, and allow your similar personalities to grow, rather than clash. Maybe Crosshair isn't so bad after all.

#tbbwriting #knee-deep in trouble #the bad batch #crosshair #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #crosshair x reader #gn!reader #gender neutral reader #tbb #snow storm #blizzard #huddling for warmth #fanfic #tbb fanfic #the bad batch fanfic

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