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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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My Kind

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warning: Swearing

Genre: Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having been chosen by the gang to be a guest streamer on today’s stream of Among Us, it’s safe to say Y/N’s super excited but also a bit nervous. The whole of her anxiety gets lifted off her when she meets someone with the exact same vibe as hers - yeah you guessed it.

Requested by @monizzle96 Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so terribly sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is! I hope you come across it and read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

This has to be the fiftieth time I’ve checked my setup in the past twenty four hours. But no, I’m definitely not nervous, what are you talking about. Pshhh. Nah, being nervous isn’t in my brand. Plus, what do I have to make me nervous - a group of famous streamers inviting me onto their stream to play Among Us with them because they enjoyed my own streams? Ok yeah, that’s a pretty good reason. Not gonna lie, I almost chucked my phone out of excitement when I received that DM from Toast, telling me they’d picked me to be their guest streamer for today’s date. My stomach was doing somersaults for a good forty-eight hours following that text and then the anxiety slowly started setting in fueled by the expectations they probably have of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not inexperienced in the streaming field, I’ve been a streamer longer than some of the members of Toast’s streamer gang actually. But I never managed to garner that big of a following which I’m honestly quite ok with. I have a modest - ok, maybe larger than modest - following consisting of incredibly loyal fans which I will never stop being grateful for. They are all so respectable of me, my privacy and my boundaries. They know the main rules: no shit-talking in the chat or in any of my comment sections, no bashing other YouTubers in my comments/chat, and most definitely not asking for a face reveal. Fun fact: I didn’t even set up that last rule, they all just collectively know not to ask for it.

I’ve been keeping my brand pretty low-key to avoid garnering some unwanted attention - some of which I’ve already experienced on certain social media platforms following the full body pictures I posted on there - face not visible of course. I tend to also have my webcam on, facing towards my hands working away on the keyboard sometimes when I stream. I don’t know why people obsess over faceless content creators’ hands, but I appreciate the enthusiasm - it also drives me to do a manicure every now and then which ain’t so bad, self-care and all that you know.

Now, back to the subject of my ridiculous nervousness.

You see, it has layers.

I’m nervous of ‘preforming’ underwhelmingly and I’m nervous of what my own fans will think of the person I will become during this stream. They know me as a super chill and laid-back person, which I am by the way, but they might think I’m putting on a show if I exhibit any nervous gestures/vocabulary. I highly doubt they would, but the possibility is not letting my mind rest. And now that it’s about ten minutes till the stream starts, I’m getting doing my best to calm my nerves.

They are all just people. You know they are super chill too. Just be yourself, that’s why they invited you, because you are yourself on all your streams. They liked you for your personality, humor, maybe even your gaming skills. So chill the hell out and be yourself, damn it!

Easier thought than put into action that’s for sure.

I start my stream five minutes early just so I can vibe with my viewers for a little while before I have to meet the gang. My fans always have a way of injecting me with confidence, they remind me of where I was when I started and how far I’ve come. How much I achieved when I thought I’d be nothing and no one, someone the algorithm would simply overlook. But then they entered my life and I entered theirs and it all became much better than I ever thought it would get to be. I rarely tell myself ‘good job’ for the milestones I’ve reached or the hard work I’ve put into my content, but that’s probably cause I orient myself based on that quote from the movie Whiplash: ‘There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job’ - simply put, I’m never satisfied with what I do and I always strive to do better. My fans, however, make sure I don’t go overboard with it - always serving as a reminder that I’ve done plenty for myself and others. And that’s what makes an amazing fandom, one I consider family.

Whoa, when did those five minutes fly by?!

Ah shit, here we go. Deep breaths, Y/N you got this.

“Hello!“ I say as I enter the Discord call, subconsciously biting my lower lip, grateful the camera isn’t capturing it. However, I make a mental note to keep my hands steady cause that’s the one part of me people can actually see and the last thing I want is for them to see how much my fingers are trembling.

“Oh hi, Y/N!“ Toast is the first one to greet me, “Welcome to the stream! Thank you so much for accepting our invitation.“

“Thank you for having me and inviting me, Toast. This is a huge deal for me. You guys are basically YouTube legends, this is unreal to me.“ I reply, cringing immediately afterwards because of my fangirl rambling. Great way to make first impressions, Y/N. Bravo.

To be fair, they already have an impression of you. Quit stressing.

Aright, you’ve got a point, me.

“Oh please, we owe all that to our fans. We’re really nothing special. All streamers are almost completely alike, we all owe where we are to the people who helped us make it there - our fans. We’re no legends.“ Toast says, bringing a small smile to my face as well as a light pink blush to my cheeks, “And from what I’ve seen, you yourself have quite the following. And your fans seem to adore you.“

“And I absolutely adore them.“ I chuckle, “They mean the world to me. They are the reason I’m here today.”

“Then we have to give them a special thank you, don’t you think?“ The teasing, familiar giggle, widens my smile - it’s Rae, “Nice to meet you, Y/N! I’m Rae, and, no cap, I’m quite a fan of your content. No joke, I binged your entire series of Resident Evil 7 as soon as I found your channel when Toast said he’d invite you.“

This rattles me a bit. I can hardly believe it - am I really receiving a compliment from an A-list name in the streaming world? My fans must be hella proud of me right now. A quick glance at my chat confirms that they indeed are. That in and of itself fills me with joy and newfound confidence.

“Oh Gosh, thank you so much Rae! That means the world to me. You’re all so sweet.“ I reply, lifting my ice cold hands to cool down my burning cheeks, my lips spread into a grin, my stomach filled with butterflies.

“Oh please, we have some real savages around here.“ A male voice, seemingly Charlie’s scoffs, “Don’t overlook us please.“

“Wait, we do?“ A deep voice, one I immediately know the owner of speaks up, “Who? How come I don’t know about that?“

I can’t help bust snort, “Nice to meet you, Corpse. Sarcasm central, I see.”

He laughs, “Just returning it to where it’s due. Nice to meet you too, Y/N. Sick Outlast series, by the way.“

Ok, wait, I have two A-list streamers complimenting my content. Ok, I’m bound to crack open a few beers to celebrate later cause OH MY GOD.

“Thanks! I’m a horror junkie so I’d be lying if I said I haven’t binge watched all your story-times. Personal favorites are the deep web ones, they fascinate me.“

“Oh, you’re one of my kind even more than I expected, huh?“ He replies, the tone of his voice changing, raising a bit due to what I can only describe as excitement and enthusiasm. “I’ve had people tell me it’s twisted, but I really like seeing the lengths to which the fucked up human mind can go to. Like, the shit I’ve read is insane! Some stories I didn’t narrate cause I would’ve probably had my video taken down, it was that messed up.“

My eyes widen, sharing the same excitement at the thought of digging deeper into this phenomenon, “Careful, Corpse, you’re walking a dangerous line of tempting me to deep-dive on Reddit in search of those exact stories.”

“No need.“ Corpse says, his tone now taking up a bit of a cocky note, “I still got them all saved, I can send them to you no problem.“

“Please do! I seriously gotta read them now. If I can’t sleep afterwards, I’m blaming you, Corpse. Just FYI.“ I say, giggling slightly, finding myself all but completely comfortable now. I wonder where all that anxiety went?

“Blame fully taken. Given that I’m not much of a sleeper, I’ll keep you company whenever you think there’s a killer hiding in your closet or fear a red room pop-up will appear on your computer screen.“ He replies, chuckling.

“Um, that’s oddly specific.“ Charlie comments, “Been there yourself, buddy?”

“Perhaps.“ Corpse wheezes, getting a laugh out of me too, “I will neither confirm nor deny.“

“You know what, I’ll just private message you my number so if you see it call you at some ungodly hour, you don’t freak the fuck out. Sounds good?“ I ask, already prepping to type it out and send it to him.

“Perfect. Wait...“ he pauses for a second, sounding puzzled for a second, “You don’t have mine.“

“Oh, do I not?“ I reply with a sinister tone - thought to answer the question, I of course don’t have his number.

“Oh, do you?“ He sasses me right back. “If so then you don’t need me to send it to you. Cool.“

Ah, shit

“Wait, no! I-I need to confirm it’s the correct one!“

Damn, never did I think I’d be complimented by some of the most important streamers on this platform, but to get a number of theirs too? That’s a whole another level that will take me time to process. But I’ll do that another time, right now, I have to kick these people’s butts in Among Us and later I have some deep web stories to read.

Turns out, all it takes to get comfortable in a new surrounding is someone of your kind. And Corpse is definitely one of my kind.

@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse

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chattahoochiecoochie · 2 years

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Can we talk about how out of touch F1 TWT is? For more than a minute, too? If you want to jump down our throats and send us threats for writing fic, fine. If you want to post our shit and threaten and belittle us, fine. But if you’re gonna carry the torch for F1 you better be damn willing to carry it for everyone else.

Harry Styles has had fanfiction written about him since the moment he stepped onto the stage so many years ago. One shining example is the fic-turned-book-turned-movie, After. I don’t see any of you assholes raising a fuss over that violation of privacy. You want to talk boundaries, lets start there.

I’m often influenced by my peers so its been hard to find the courage to just post what I want, when I want. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let a bunch of keyboard assholes filter my content. RPF has been around forever and will probably stick around a while longer. We can debate the ethics of it up, down, and six ways to Sunday—until the other side is ready to go after all of it, not just some, mark me down as uninterested.

And FYI, when you are ready to come after us all, once and for all. Shaming has never worked and it certainly has never made you righteous.

#pick one and suck it bitches #chattahoochiecoochie rants #i was born mean and I’m gonna die mean #f1 #rpf #f1 twt #f1 hottakes #rpf fanfic #sebastian vettel #lando norris #daniel ricciardo

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zhansww · 3 years

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Is there a huge difference between shippers in China and outside of it?

Almost every fandom has rpf shippers and they're not seen as a serious threat at all. It's just part of fandom culture. Everyone knows it's all fake unless there's official confirmation.

But I've seen so many c-fans saying that fanedits and fanvids are a form of slanders. Candies dropping are spreadig false rumours etc. At first I was wondering if those people are new to internet😣 or to fandom culture, then I wonder if c-shippers ARE invasive in their shipping and if the pearl clutching is justified after all? I mean, I've never seen anyone treating shippers like a serious threat, usually they're just treated like some weirdos in the corner. So why is c-fandom is different? Or is it not c-fandom as a whole and is it just our fandom that is bonkers?

Ps. Sorry if I'm a bit all over the place trying to explain whats in my jumbled brain 🙏🏼

To be clear, I'm not the best person to ask cuz I don't really know other rp fandoms. I've pretty much always stuck to stanning fictional characters (until I fell in love with BTS in 2017 and ggdd in 2019, lol). Also, I try my best to stay away from any fandom drama b/w solos and cp fans. I think I may know what this is about but just fyi, I’ll be mostly guessing here.

From what I do know, shipping in c entertainment is usually bound to whatever drama it is that the idols in question are playing in. Take Lang Dianxia for example. Fans who ship XZ and LiQin started doing so since their roles got confirmed or since they started filming. Once the drama got released, they gladly made the most of all the XZ/LQ content they got. Maybe they'll be shipping them for a little while longer now, after the drama finished airing but then that's it. They'll move on to the next cp with their idol in it. YiZhan is already different in that way. The hype around their cp has not died down at all after ChenQingLing ended. On the contrary, they got a lot more fans after the last episode aired. By now, it's been about 14 months since the last time ggdd attended a CQL related event. The bj-x supertopic has only grown since then. So many people can't all be wrong... right? They wouldn't have such a dedicated following for this long if there wasn't indeed more to that cp than just their roles. The probably most damning thing is that neither Yibo’s nor Zhan-ge’s companies have made any statements denying bj-x or trying to close that supertopic. Given how much traction is still gets and how it even led to negative news at times and how they no longer need to promote a drama they co-star in anyway, you should think that it would be safe to do so, i.e. they wouldn’t lose too many fans from it. As many cp fans as they have, the number of their solo fans is still way more. My point being that maybe on some level, everyone knows that ggdd are in fact together. And that’s why to certain people (mainly solo fans, I assume) any info that cp fans share is dangerous. To them, all of it, even the most ridiculous theories, are possibly harmful cuz they might expose their idol’s (queer) relationship status and they are simply trying to protect their idol from the inevitable negative repercussions to their reputation and career that an involuntary coming-out would have. So, I don’t think that c fandom as a whole is necessarily different but rather the ggdd fandom specifically. But you can’t really fault those who consider ggdd cp fans a “threat”... they are being sort of over-protective, I guess, but they mean well.

Personally, I think that ggdd cp fans are being ridiculous at times but making theories that are blatantly reaching aren’t exactly harmful either. I think c fans intentionally share the more harmless/stupid/cpn theories publicly, and share the more serious theories only privately. That way, outsiders can easily dismiss ggdd cp fans as dumb. And it “only” becomes too intrusive when cp fans make use of stalker info. I myself used to have this attitude of “well, that info is there so I might as well use it”. I don’t think that way anymore, though. I try to stay away from that kind of info and also from all those “candies” or w/e they call it.

#ask #iwanttobiteyourcheeks

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postalninja · 3 years

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Fic Writer Meme

I saw @cicaklah post this and wanted to try :) 1) How many works do you have on AO3?

17 currently - 14 fics, 2 pieces of fanart, and 1 how-to guide thingie. I’ve been writing/posting for less than a year and a half, though, so there’s much more to come!

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

196 767.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

6 for fics, 7 if you count fanart. They are mostly for video games, ‘cuz that’s how I roll:

- Octopath Traveler

- Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

- Legend of Zelda

- Persona 5

- Chrono Trigger (fanart)

And two non-game fandoms:

- Violet Evergarden

- Drawfee RPF

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1- Adrift in the Ocean of her Eyes by a large margin. My first and only fic to surpass 100 kudos as of yet! I almost didn’t finish it after I kind of stalled on it and was unsure whether it would be redundant in the fandom, but I’m so glad I did because people seem to love it.

2- A World of Knowledge Awaits, which as a crossover appealing to two fandoms, doesn’t come as too much of a surprise.

3- Sins of the Father, which I put a ton of work into, and I’m so glad it resonated with people.

4- Someone Strong, my very first baby fic! My initial foray into fanfic writing, spurred on entirely by the fact that my OTP was exceedingly underrepresented, if not entirely absent, from the Octopath Traveler fandom. I am a one-person H’annberic cheerleading squad, and I will *never* put these pompoms down! (FYI, I typoed ‘squard’ instead of ‘squad’ at first and almost left it that way. Squaaard!!)

5- A Cleric’s Quandary, based on a completely silly idea, so it was really fun to write!

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do, indeed! I love getting comments, and I always want to at least acknowledge them even if I don’t have anything profound to say in return. But if someone replies back to my reply, then I may not always add more if the conversation feels complete, ya know?

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Ooooh, definitely What the Heart Wants. (Spoilers ahead) The reader is left unsure about whether or not the protagonist survives.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably Someone Strong, because it was my chance to write the story of H’aanit and Olberic’s relationship, and I wanted to give them the whole happy ending of a wedding and a baby on the way. Of course, it wasn’t the *ending* of their story, per se, given that I have a whole series of fics about them, and I’m not done yet!

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

Only one so far, so it is by definition the craziest. Persona 5/Octopath Traveler, which isn’t even that crazy considering that it’s canon in Persona 5 that characters can enter an alternate universe using an app on their phone, so....

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I am lucky not to have received any hate, which I am very grateful for, but then again, I haven’t been at this for all that long, and I don’t get huge views either. So I am quite happy in my little corner being ignored by the haters.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Why yes, I do! Why else would I write about the characters I love, if not to make them bone? lol.

I’ve only written M/F smut, since that’s what I’m most comfortable writing, and it’s rarely *super duper* explicit - I’ll use a fair few euphemisms a lot of the time. The more smut I write, though, the more I worry that it’s all the same... might need to start taking more risks!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, but that would suck.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not to my knowledge, but that would be awesome!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Kiiiiind of? Years ago, my D&D party started an email RPing campaign that was sort of like writing a fic together, but it stalled at some point and is long since lost to time.

My partner and I also wrote the beginnings of an original story together (also started as an attempted RPing campaign) and some day I might want to work on that one some more, because I liked what we came up with.

14) What's your all time favourite ship?

Olberic Eisenberg, the Unbending Blade of Hornburg, and H’aanit, huntress of the Dark Wood. I have never been so enamored of a fictional pairing, and this is literally what has thrust me into getting involved in fandom instead of just quietly enjoying content by myself. LET ME YELL AT YOU ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM! If I had to pick a runner-up, I’d say the Evil Queen/Robin Hood from Once Upon a Time. I will read anything @somewhereapart writes about those two for as long as she keeps writing.

Another, more recent favorite, is definitely Agent 47/Diana Burnwood from Hitman! I only discovered the Hitman games this year, but I love that pairing to bits.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I do intend to finish all of my current WIPs, of which I have... 4? 5 if you count the one that’s currently being beta-read. I guess the one I’m struggling with the most is an Octopath H’aanberic family-fic with the working title of Journey to Cobbleston. Olberic and H’aanit are taking their daughter B’renit to Cobbleston for the first time, and it doesn’t really have much more plot than that, so I’m finding it challenging. It’s just a cute story partially from the point of view of a four-year-old traveling for the first time, and it feels like not enough “interesting” stuff is going to happen. I struggle with pure fluff, y’all.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Grammar! And writing emotions - I’ve gotten enough comments from people telling me that they could feel my characters’ emotions in my writing for me to gather that I must have a knack for it.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing and plot/worldbuilding, ie. bigger picture stuff. And using too many clichés, probably.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve only written in English so far, but it’s not my first language, so I would definitely not shy away from writing dialogue in French if it was called for. Otherwise, since I am a *huge* language nerd, I would likely give other languages a try if the story called for it, and get a native speaker beta to look over it for me before I posted.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Octopath Traveler, as previously stated. It’s still my main fandom.

20) What's your favourite fic you've written?

I have a soft spot for The Measure of a Man. I just really liked what I was able to accomplish with it as a character study for Olberic, and I enjoyed incorporating a lot of the other canon characters into his story, too. Feel free to join in with your own answers, friends! :)

#fic writer meme #octopath travel #skyrim #violet evergarden #once upon a time #hitman

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drake-the-incubus · 3 years

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Hey FYI, the minor RPF situation is because it's legal in America, and AO3 is based in America. Like, the problem is way higher up than AO3. The LAW needs to change, and then AO3 can change--but with the way their nonprofit functions, they can't ban anything that's legal in America without contradicting their mission statement, which would mean they're not allowed to operate. I agree it's bad, but the problem is the LAW in America is disgusting and evil, and AO3 has to follow it.

I don’t... care?

Seriously this isn’t about me being pissed AO3 is following fucked up american law, it’s me being fucking pissed the defence is, “it’s just fiction” and “it’s just a fantasy”. “It’s legal here so it’s okay.”

I’m fucking mad that the people who worked with or are AO3 positive fucking say that it’s censorship that’ll get rid of gay content if they impose rules to get rid of it.

And it’s pretty fucked that the mission statement of defending transformitive works includes real minors, you realize how fucked up that is, right? AO3 is Fanfiction only. They could have developed a mission statement that excluded real life minors, but didn’t. They didn’t fucking prevent real life minors from being added to begin with.

Everyone defending it calls people against it, “pro-censorship”.

A sixteen year old boy was sent written CSEM of himself and your concern is over a fucking website that allowed the content to begin with.

You act like AO3 doesn’t oppose the idea of this law being a thing, their entire standpoint is the protection of transformative works INCLUDING that.

I’m mad because this isn’t something that you should be coming into the inbox of a CSA survivor, and fucking defending.

“The Law needs to change” or perhaps AO3 needs to take a look at why their policies can’t be defended without the inclusion of CSEM.

Why the fuck would you come here and be like, “well hopefully the law changes and it will be a-okay” as if this shit is fine until then?

Anytime laws like that come up, it’s VIOLENTLY opposed by the people I’m fucking venting about, this wasn’t in any tags, and I’m god damn furious you think I have no idea how this fucking works.

I don’t give a shit what AO3’s mission statement is, Fanfiction doesn’t fucking matter over kids being exploited. Genuinely, I fucking think AO3 should CHANGE or SHUT DOWN. Regardless of your fucked up laws in America.

@/the-resurrection-3d and I discussed this in DMs and I’ve actually had full ass conversations about this, but let me make it fucking clear to you anon.

If the only reason AO3 functions is that it must allow a form of CSEM which is fucking traumatizing, I do not fucking care about it. I want it shut down even if the impact is negative to me because I care about IRL children over Fanfiction. So kindly fuck off my blog and don’t come back with “oh but AO3...” I don’t give any shits.

The post was untagged. It was a vent post about current feelings about a teenager finding shit that genuinely disturbed him, and for the past three years seeing people defend this shit. It was a fucking vent, untagged except to VENT MORE.

Any more asks on this is getting fucking blocked.

#fuck you #anon ask #bad fucking faith #csem tw

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imbellarosa · 4 years

Note

[1/10] I’d also like to say something about the Larry and Phan shipping: I totally get it that for D&P it must’ve been super invasive at some points, especially 2012, and Dan said it triggered some ptsd and reminded him of school with people trying to “expose him for their entertainment” and yes, that sucks and is very similar to outing someone which is not ok at all. I don’t think the phandom at the time realized that — many of their fans were young and grew up in a different time (being a kid

[2/10] in the 2000s and being a kid in the 90s was a very different experience regarding the LGBT community, even if it’s only a 10 years difference) and they probably didn’t understand that there are many reasons someone would willingly stay in the closed (internalized homophobia for example and the general situation Dan described in his coming out video) — so it’s not like they did it on purpose because they’re mean or anything, but it was still wrong. However, I believe the case is different

[3/10] with Larry: they have given us many reasons to believe they are not in the closet willingly, and are probably fighting for freedom. The music industry context is totally different from the Youtube context, mainly for 2 reasons: 1. Closeting in the industry is very real (and it sucks) so Larry probably is being unwillingly closeted — in the Youtube scenario, if someone’s still in the closet it’s probably their choice (which was Dan and Phil’s case), since there aren’t people controlling

[4/10] their public image like there are in the music industry; 2. Artists in the music industry dont depend on being active on social media for their jobs (their jobs revolve mainly around music), while Youtubers do depend on being active on social media for their jobs (their jobs revolve around the internet), so H&L don’t have to constantly see all the shipping going on on the internet, they can just leave SM managing to their teams and not be active on SM if they don’t want to see all the

[5/10] Larry shipping that’s happening, while D&P did have to constantly see it, because being active on SM was directly related to their work. Like Dan said in one of his 2012 posts (I think): “The thing is, Kristen Stewart and One Direction don’t use Tumblr, so they have no idea what’s being said about them, but I do.” The public image control in the music industry, once again, is the reason why Dan’s sometimes defensive behavior (“fyi I like vagina”) and Louis’ (“I am in fact straight”) are

[11/10] sorry, forgot something (you’d think after 10 asks I would’ve already said everything I had to say): I’m not saying that shipping Phan is wrong either (I ship them too) but just that when we’re talking about people who are active on SM and constantly interacting with their fandom it’s a bit more delicate bc they do see what’s going on a lot more frequently, so you just have to be extra careful and make sure you’re being respectful, but the shipping itself isn’t necessarily wrong!

——————————————————————————

This is what I got from you anon! I’m missing the middle bits there, but I think the general gist is: Larry is fine bc you don’t consider L&H to be willingly in the closet, phan is less fine bc they were willingly in the closet. But like. In 2015, Dan and Phil both wrote, read, animated, and uploaded fanfic about themselves. After that, in 2017, they shared a Halloween sweater for their baking vid (it was super cute haha). I am sorry that Dan had a hard time, and that he found it triggering to be under a spotlight that large, because it’s always hard, but I’m not going to blame his fans, or the fan spaces they inhabit for his mental health struggles. I won’t generalize like that.

Also, given the content they put out and interact with, LT and HS have very much hung around tumblr before and definitely know what gets said about them. But yes, this blog is def RPF friendly!

I do want to read the rest of your messages if you want to resend!! :)

#i say things #anon asks #i answer #long post ts

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lovelyrocker · 5 years

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Love Is Blind Ch.15

~RPF

~Characters: Jared Padalecki, Lexi Ackles (OFC)

~Pairings: Jared x Lexi

~Warnings: *Triggers* Talk of drug use, Talk of past self harm, Talk of past abuse, Body image issues, Cursing,

~Word Count: 2,767

Love Is Blind Masterlist

<Previous Chapter

Lexi laid there with Jared in her bed, Facing each other, her eyes puffy from crying so much. Jared stroked her hair and caressed her arm as they talked. He had questions of course, but he didn't want to push her. He knew she was fragile at the moment. His heart ached for her. Not out of pity. His heart ached seeing her in so much pain and not being able to take it away.

After hours of talking Jared asked a few questions here and there and without hesitation Lexi answered them. She knew he would be curious and she could also see that the more he found out, the more Jared wanted to beat the life out of Chris. But Jared was never anything but understanding and comforting towards Lexi. Lexi could see he wasn't judging. He wanted to understand. He wanted to know what she felt and what she needed to be okay. She offered answers to questions she knew wanted to ask but didn't know how.

The sun finished disappearing behind the mountains, casting moonlit shadows on the walls. Jared's thumb moving back and forth on her upper arm. "So, what's, uh,"

"The worst drug I've done?" Lexi finished through his stammering.

"You don't have to answer." He told her bringing his hand to her cheek.

"It's okay. " Lexi Placed her hand over his before moving his hand, entwining their fingers. " Uh, the worse was- was Heroin."

"Oh, wow. That's pretty bad." He said honestly. And the fact he was being honest with his reactions is what made her comfortable enough to keep talking.

"I-I never injected or anything, ever. I wasn't THAT stupid. But I snorted it a few times."

"So never any needles?"

"No. And after all of that stuff with Chris I- I got tested and I'm clean, just FYI."

Jared leaned forward and kissed her lips gently. "I trust you."

Lexi let out a half hearted exhale. "I don't see how. I just dropped a pretty big bomb on you."

"And I don't think anything different of you. In fact, I think you're a pretty incredible woman." He gently kissed her again. "So can I ask if he was, was he the only reason you started to cut?" Jared saw her hesitate and swallow hard. "I saw the scars on your hip. They're-"

"Uh, yeah, I mean no, I-" She sat up a bit uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going.

"I've seen, on your," He saw her shift frowning more uncomfortable. "Some were old and some newer. I just,"

"Can we change the subject please?" She let out a breath cutting him off.

"Baby-"

"Jared, I'm serious." She sat up pushing her hair out of her face agitated. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" He propped himself up on his elbow.

"Because" She sighed frustrated. "Because I hate them. I hate the way they look on my body and they're the reason I don't wear certain clothes or let you look at me a lot with all the lights on."

Seeing her struggling with herself, Jared sat up. "Come here." He pulled her closer Reaching his hand she felt his fingers dip under the waist of her pants sliding over the marks.

"Jared, don't" She grabbed his hand.

"Hey, do you trust me?" He dipped his head to meet her eyes.

"Yeah. but-"

"Then relax." He told her. She removed her hand from his and his fingertips moved over her scars and cuts as he guided his hand along her hip. "Take this off." He instructed, pulling up the hem of her shirt. He looked at her sitting there in her bra and saw the scars and cuts along her sides and hips clearly for the first time. She even had a few across the tops of her arms. Seeing them explained why she hadn’t been as intimate lately. "How long were you a cutter?" He asked as he continued to trace the marks with his finger tips.

"Two years. I'd stopped over a year. Until recently. It was just the anxiety and crap that I had, I couldn't - I just felt like I couldn’t keep it under control anymore and the only way I knew to make it stop was..."

Jared leaned forward and pressed his lips to her marks on her arm. He laid her down and kissed along her body, making sure he touched every one of her marks with a soft kiss. Lexi’s body relaxed under him and he kept going. "You will always be beautiful. I wouldn't have you any other way." He wrapped his arms around her. She turned slightly and looked at him, Jared seeing the tears falling from her eyes. "Baby," He wiped at her eyes. "Don't ever hide yourself from me, okay?"

"What did I do to get a guy like you?" Lexi whispered, her voice heavy with emotion.

"Must've pissed someone off." He smiled.

A tear filled giggle fell from her. "I love you."

"I love you, scars and all." He pulled her closer holding her. After several long minutes, Jared spoke again. "Baby?"

"Hmm?" Lexi said from her nodding off state.

"Can you promise me something?"

"What's that?" She asked waking a bit more.

"Next time you feel like you want to... can you just promise me you'll come to me first?”

Lexi opened her eyes and looked up at him, his eyes full of worry and fear. "I promise."

Lexi fell asleep in Jared's arms. He pulled the blankets up her body to keep her warm. He watched her as she slept, feeling the urge to protect her. To make sure nothing bad ever happened to her again. He knew that was an impossible thought but he knew what he could do he could hold her. So he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer. The feeling of her breathing against him, protected in the moment, tight in his arms, lulled him to sleep.

Jared woke up feeling the weight of Lexi still against him. He gave a breath of contentment before he carefully got out of Lexi's bed. He moved slowly not wanting to wake her. He knew she was exhausted. Mentally, emotionally and physically.

Making his way downstairs he yawned scratching his head as he rounded the corner to the kitchen. He froze. Jensen was sitting at the counter in the kitchen.

"H- Hey, Jay.." A hesitated greeting managed to come out. "How long you've been back?"

"’Bout thirty minutes." He said, not looking up from his phone.

"Oh?" Jared walked into the kitchen trying to act normal clearing his throat.

"Lexi still asleep?" Jensen asked calmly setting his phone down.

Jared shut his eyes with a breath, dread rushing through him. "Jay," Jared turned to his friend, ready to hear yelling and screaming.

"How bad is it?" Jensen asked simply, Jared just standing there, momentarily confused. Jensen stood and walked over to Jared. "I saw the cuts on her. How bad?"

Jared shifted, still unsure how to go about the conversation. If Jensen saw the cuts then he’d seen her laying in Jared’s arms as well. Jared was slightly panicked at this point. "Uh, she, it's-" Jensen reached grabbing an empty glass from the counter and handed it to Jared. Immediately Jared felt the pressure from his chest lift. If Jensen would have been mad, he wouldn't be offering liquor. "They aren't bad." He was able to get out in quick exhale before downing the liquor Jensen had just poured into his glass.

"How many?" Jensen sat back down.

"Couple dozen."

"How long have you known?" He Lifted a brow looking back at Jared.

"I just found out today."

"Did she tell you or-"

"I saw her arm and she kind of broke down." He didn't like lying to his best friend but he didn't want to break Lexi's trust. She was after all,his girlfriend.

"Did she tell you why?"

"Her anxiety has just been too much. It got worse after-"

"After she saw Chris." Jensen finished. "I knew that would eventually happen." Jensen looked back to Jared who still looked like he was gonna puke. "You okay man?"

"Yeah, I just-"

"That I'd think something of how you were?" Jensen grinned. "I know you were just comforting her, man. It's okay." Jensen smacked his arm.

Jared felt a lump in his throat but ignored it when he saw Lexi walking down the stairs, zipping her hoodie. She walked into the kitchen and saw Jensen staring at her with sad eyes. She immediately turned to Jared.

"You told him?!" She half snapped.

"No, he didn't." Jensen stood. "I saw you and him laying together and I saw the cuts."

"You what?" Lexi began, but Jared quickly shook his head behind Jensen.

"I'll let you two talk." Jared said, walking out the room. It was hard for him to not be there for her in situations like this. He wanted to hold her and comfort her. He wanted to make sure she was okay. Lexi was his girl. But, he knew right now he needed to let Jensen take over. So he did.

"Jay, I'm fine." Lexi breathed out.

"Obviously not if you're cutting again." He said, pulling a chair out for her. "What's going on, punk?"

"My anxiety just hit a bad point." She said, sitting and looking at her brother.

"You were doing do well. What changed? Was it seeing Chris?"

"A little, but not entirely." Jensen looked at her, waiting for her to continue. "Yeah, seeing him did bring back some memories but I'm handling that... sorta." She added, knowing her brother would see through any lie she tried to use. "It's complicated. It's stress, anxiety, fear, anger, just so much."

"Well, start talking and we will uncomplicate it as we go."

"What- what happened with Chris, it's not something that will just go away. In a weird ass way, knowing he is getting help, helps me move on."

"I get that." He continued to listen.

"But I'm not dumb. I know that no matter how much closure and forgiveness happens with him, what happened will bleed into any future relationship I'll have."

"Meaning, you think that the next guy you get involved with, you'll expect him to do the same."

"Yeah. Like even though I know he isn't capable of being that way, I'll still get scared if we’re arguing or-"

"That's something you will need to talk about with whomever you get into a relationship with. If he cares for you, he'll understand. He'll take the time that's needed to make sure you are secure."

Lexi smiled lightly ."Okay, you ever feel like your entire life is decided for you and you aren't sure how to do what you want?"

"I have. That's an odd change from the original topic." Jensen noted.

"It's not as odd as you think." Lexi commented. "Sometimes I feel like I know what I should be doing with my life and I know what's expected of me, but it may not be what I want."

"What do you want?"

"I'm not sure. I know certain aspects that I want in my life," She said, thinking of Jared.

"But I also know it may not be accepted by some people and-"

"Lexi, don't worry about anyone else but you." Jensen interrupted. "It's your life and yours alone. Your opinion is the only one that matters." Lexi nodded as she listened to Jensen. "Why don't you make an appointment with a therapist-"

"No, Jay, I don't want to see another shrink." Lexi protested.

"It'll help!" Jensen insisted. "Jared sees one and it helps him!"

"I heard my name, what'd I do?" Jared spoke from the living room.

"Jared!" Jensen called him in. "Don’t you see a shrink?"

"Yeah."

"See!" Lexi rolled her eyes at him. "Punk, you need to come up with a better way to get out this anger and frustration and anxiety. You will make yourself sick again." He took her hands into his. "Cutting was one step away from going too far last time. Please don't let it get that far again."

"It's not that bad Jensen. Not like last time. I just went to the only thing I remembered helped ease it all."

"Which is why you need to learn new coping habits. You can't let cutting be your fall back." Jensen spoke. "I have to get ready for work, please just think about it."

Jared walked into the kitchen and looked at Lexi. "I have an idea of what could help. Go get some sweats on and some extra clothes then hop in with us."

"Why?" She looked at him suspicious.

"Trust me." Jared spoke and gave a little wink.

Jared had Clif pick them up earlier than planned and once there, Jared led her to the gym on the lot.

"Jared, you're a genius." Jensen said, realizing when he walked in what his friend had in mind.

"Can one of you fill me in?" Lexi looked between them.

"You are going to work out your anger and fears." Jared said, looking at her.

"Jensen, you and Misha are needed in makeup." A woman poked her head into the room.

"Jared, you got this?" Jensen asked.

"Yeah, I'm good for a few hours." Jared said as Jensen walked out.

"A few hours? I thought you were starting with Jay?"

"Nope, I am helping you out first."

"So you came in hours early just to help me beat out my frustration?"

"Yep." He said, pulling off his hoodie. "Now put these on." He handed her a pair of sparring gloves.

"Yes, sir." She said, taking the gloves then paused. "Wait, that wasn't supposed to sound as sexual as it came out."

Jared chuckled at her. "It's okay. Now before we do anything, I'm gonna show you how to throw a decent punch." Jared began.

An hour went by, and she was throwing hard punches at the punching bag in the corner of the room. She was sweaty and out of breath, but it was working. She felt more relaxed after beating out the anger.

"Next time, step into it." Jared instructed.

"What?" She asked her chest heaving slightly.

"Put your weight into it more." He walked over to her and put his hands up. "Like this." He punched the bag. "And watch how you twist your waist." She punched again and again. Jared walked over to her and placed his hands on her hips. "Punch the bag." As she did so, he guided her into stepping into her swing and moving her body correctly. "Now do it again."

After a while longer, she threw her hands up. "I need a break." She unstrapped the gloves and pulled them off.

"Here." He handed her a towel. "Try doing this for four to six hours straight."

"No thank you." She smiled, sitting on the bench.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. I get why you do this a lot."

"You know, running helps as well." He said handing her a water bottle. "I can show you the path I take when I run at home."

"That would be awesome." She sipped water from the bottle Jared handed her. "So this is how you manage your anxiety?”

"Mostly, yeah." He took the bottle and took a sip.

"So do you know self defense crap, too? Like not just fighting but really defending yourself?"

"Yeah." He answered taking another gulp of water. "Kinda in the job description." He chuckled.

"True." She gave a half hearted smile. "Can you show me?" She asked, her breath finally calming.

"I can. If you want." Jared looked at her curiously. "Do you have a reason why?"

"Just in case." She answered with a shrug.

"Just in case?" His gaze was questioning.

"I know you would never lay a hand on me. But who is to say another scumbag I run into won't." She took the water from Jared and sipped. "I walk to my car at night a lot when I leave here. Or when I go out and it's the middle of the night and dark. Why not know how to defend myself?" She picked at the lid of the bottle.

"Okay." He reached placing his hand on hers stopping her from pulling the top of the bottle. "Sound like a good idea to me."

Lexi lifted her eyes to his and she saw he understood she didn't have to explain it or defend it. He just knew. And he got it.

Next Chapter>

TAGS: @saxxxyjared @onethirstyunicorn @dreaminemz @xostephanie

#spnfamliy #spn rpf #spnedit #spn #supernatural #supernatural fic #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #jared x ofc #ofc #love is blind #lib #chapter15 #fanfic #fandom #Angst #self harm #cursing

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winterofthedarkestlight · 5 years

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Scholarly Meta-analyses of Fanfiction

Many scholars have written about fan fiction as an idea and a social phenomenon, and have explored the themes of sexuality, race, gender, eroticism, feminism, etc. within various subsets of fanfiction. I just wanted to make a post detailing some of these analyses that I have come across, for future reference of anyone who is interested. (I have not read everything on this list, FYI, and of that which I had read I do not necessarily agree on all points).

Also: the Fanhacker Tumblr blog, run by the Organization for Transformative Works (the same people who run AO3) is a great way to start searching for some great scholarly commentary on fanfiction!

The following is the table of contents of a book called The Darker Side of Slash Fan Fiction: Essays on Power, Consent, and the Body, edited by Ashton Spacey (available on Amazon):

Section I—Aberrant Realities: Fringe Bodies and Marginalized Identities

Slashing the Invisible: Bodily Autonomy in Asexual Fan Fiction (Lýsa Westberg Gabriel)

Icons of Self-Destruction: The Portrayal of Aggression and Abusive Behaviors in Band Slash Fiction (Ágnes Zsila and Zsolt Demetrovics)

(Un)Sanctioned Bodies: The State-Sexuality-Disability Nexus in Captain America Slash Fan Fiction (Divya Garg)

Not So Star-Spangled: Examining Race, Privilege and Problems in MCU’s Captain America Fandom (Cait Coker and Rukmini Pande)

Section II—Sexual Inscription and Bodily Boundaries

When the Omega Empath Met the Alpha Doctor: An Analysis of the Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics in the Hannibal Fandom (Laura Campillo Arnaiz)

Pregnancy as Bondage: Impregnating the Cisgender Man in Works of Sherlock and Merlin Slash Fiction (Jesse Ashman)

Erotic Imaginaries of Power in Fan Fiction Tropes (Samantha Close and Cynthia Wang)

Section III—Power, Desire and the Erotics of Consent

A Bad Bromance: Betrayal, Violence and Dark Delight in Subverting the Romance Narrative (Charity A. Fowler)

Dubious Consent: The Revival of Ravishment (Ashton Spacey)

“Happy Consensual Gangbangs”: Deconstructions of Sports Cultures and Hegemonic Masculinity in Football RPF (Milena Popova)

Here are links to other articles that I have come across:

Culture and Community Online: How Fanfiction Creates a Sense of Social Identity by Reshaping Popular Media by Kelly Ann Guinan

‘And Then They Bonded’: An Analysis of Fanfiction and Its Influence on Sexual Development by Lindsay Mixer

‘Slight Dub-Con, But They Both Wanted It Hardcore’: Erotic Fanfiction as a Form of Cultural Activism Around Sexual Consent by Milena Popova

Queer and Unusual Space: White Supremacy in Slash Fiction by Angela Fazekas

Please feel free to reblog with more additions that you may have!

#fandom #fanfiction #meta #captain america #marvel #stucky #sam wilson #racism #alpha/beta/omega #abo #rpf #johnlock #merlin #hannigram #hannibal nbc #essays

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jesbakescookies · 7 years

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Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Forty-Four

Good Morning! Here is some JDM to start it off right!! Enjoy!!!

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (FYI this is total fiction, as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. Because of this, for this work of fiction, they don’t exist. Jeffrey’s been a typical actor playboy dating fellow stars etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Aria St. James is a busy woman with a thriving restaurant. She thought she had everything she needed until a few famous faces visit her dining room. A tall, dark and handsome actor decides Aria’s just what he’s been looking for.

Rating: Mature : NSFW **dirty dirty**

Find Too Hot To Handle Master Chapter List Here

Aria's eyes peeled open when the sound of the showered turned on, the light coming out from ajar door illuminating the semi-dark room. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was near ten o'clock, way later than she normally slept to. Rolling over, Aria sat up slowly and felt her stomach churn, much like it had for the last week. Furrowing her brow, she took stock of her body as though searching for a reason for the upset but couldn't feel a hangover clinging to her brain. Not that she would have one after just two flutes of champagne. Scooting to the edge of the bed, she tried to calm her breathing as the nauseous feeling increased with every passing moment. Her eyes flicked to the bathroom door as dread began to take hold. She was going to puke and Jeffrey was in the only available bathroom. Aria was an open and honest person but that was far from something she wanted to expose to her husband. "Fuck. Don't puke. Don't pu-." She muttered before the urge overwhelmed her and she stumbled into the bathroom. Not making eye contact with him, Aria crouched by the toilet and got sick. Her stomach lurching and spasming as it emptied the last of it contents. A large hand rested on her upper back, Jeffrey’s voice finally making its way into her consciousness. The thrumming heartbeat in her head and vicious roiling of her stomach, made it difficult to focus on anything but suppressing the urge to gag again. "Easy, sweetheart." He rasped soothingly, combing her hair from her face and feeling her for fever. "You alright? You hung over?" Shaking her head, Aria wiped her mouth subtly with the back of her hand and muttered, "only had a couple drinks." "You still stressin'? We don't have to do anything else today." He replied, his hand smoothing up and down her back. "You worried about the restaurants? I'm sure they're fine." "No." She croaked, her hand rubbing her stomach to calm the flopping it was doing. "I don't get-" A sudden thought began to grow inside her pounding head, the nausea increasing slightly as the pieces began to fall into place. She felt like such a moron for having not seen the signs. The nervousness of the whole trip had been the obvious reason for her illness, now she wanted to smack herself in the face for being so oblivious. "Oh my god." Aria murmured, her eyes widening as she began to count days and then weeks. "Shit. Shit. Shit."

"What?" Jeffrey drawled, "look at me, doll. What's goin' on?" "Uh..." she trailed off, her eyes finally meeting Jeffrey's troubled ones. She took in his wet torso and the towel wrapped around his waist, the man obviously jumping out of the shower when she became sick. "You're worrying me." He grumbled, a scowl deepening on his handsome face. "I just.. I just realized that I uh... I'm late." "For what?" "No... damnit Jeff." She huffed, raking hair from her forehead in frustration. Aria didn't want to just say it, how could she just say it? "What? Jesus, will you just spit it out. You're freaking me the fuck out." "I'm late... as in I can't remember the last time I had my period." The words hung there in the air like giant question marks, the meaning of them obvious, yet completely unknown. "You think...." "Yeah... I think." "Holy shit." Jeffrey rasped, leaning his back against the wall across from her. "Um, yeah." Aria muttered, her eyes starting to prickle at the idea of being pregnant. She wasn't sure what she thought about the possibility, nor what Jeffrey thought. The idea of it seemed so foreign and frightening. Overwhelmed by the flooding of emotions, Aria peered up at Jeffrey, who seemed to be contemplating something. Tilting his head to the side slightly, he scrunched his nose and muttered, "So... we should get a test and find out, yeah? That's what people do?" Snorting at his unsure words, Aria deadpanned, "Yes, Jeff. That's what people do. What do they do on your planet?" "Shut up." he huffed out a frustrated breath, his hand combing his wet hair back. "Never knocked someone up before." Laughing a little, Aria wove her fingers through his as he seemed to get lost inside his head for a moment. "Are you okay?" "Well, this isn't what I had planned for the day." Jeffrey scoffed, his lips curling just the same. “Wanted to spend most of it in bed with you.” "I think we can still do that." “Later then, doll. Right now I'll uh... I guess I'll have one of the guys go to the store." "Oh my god, how embarrassing." She cringed at the idea of Liam or Henry buying a pregnancy test for her. "Well, do you have a better idea? You want me to bring Katherine here? If you or I go, it'll be all over the internet by five. We need to be careful." "Fuck. Okay." "How about you take a hot shower? I'll deal with this and get some breakfast brought up." "I'm not exactly hungry right now." "Well you are eating for two now." He remarked with a teasing grin, blocking her playful slaps. "Shut up." She muttered, rolling her eyes. "We don't even know for sure." "True but it would make sense. You've been fucking yakking everywhere all week." "Gross, Jeff." Aria huffed as he helped her to her feet. "What? It's true." "That word is so gross." "Grosser than you puking, while I'm showering? Because let me tell you something, that gets me hard." "Sorry." She muttered, her head dipping in embarrassment. "Hey, I'm just fucking with you." He assured, his hand pushing sweaty hair from her temple and tucking it behind her ear. "Come on, get a shower. I'll take care of everything else."

"Jesus fucking Christ." Aria muttered, opening the giant instruction manual to the pregnancy test Liam brought back from the drug store. She'd been too embarrassed to even retrieve it from him, forcing Jeffrey to answer the hotel door to face him. It wasn't that she was embarrassed for needing a test, but the aspect of making their security team buy it for her, was cringeworthy. She could just picture Liam standing in the feminine hygiene aisle looking at all the pink and blue boxes, it made her grimace. Glancing in the mirror, Aria turned to the side and tried to picture what it would look like to be big and round. The idea was still so foreign but thinking about the possibility of Jeffrey's child growing inside her, caused a flutter in her chest. She could almost picture it and the image had heat flushing her skin and a knot developing in her throat.

How would she be a mom, while running two restaurants? When would she find the time and how would she do it on her own, while Jeffrey was away? He travelled constantly and the situation worked out alright for them at the moment, with Aria working so much. However, throw a child into the mix and Aria wasn’t too sure how life would ever be the same. The answer came to her all at once, it never would be. The tiny piece of plastic in her hand was about to change her life and the realization had her close to throwing up yet again. Taking in a few slow breaths, Aria stared into the mirror head on once more. "Everything will be okay." She whispered to herself, “one step at time.”

Jeffrey sat at the tiny breakfast table next to the sliding glass door, the room service dishes still covered in front of him. Glancing at the door to the bathroom, Jeffrey could hear the water running behind it. Bouncing his leg anxiously, he scrubbed his face roughly and glanced at his wrist watch, before looking at the door again. The man had thought about having kids in the past, just fleeting thoughts when hanging out with friends who had them. He'd never considered it with anyone in particular until he began his relationship with Aria, especially after the questions that were thrown at him in that interview. Now that the possible moment had arrived, Jeffrey could hardly breath. He could feel a sweat breaking out at the base of his neck, as his nerves began to unravel. The toilet flushed and few moments later, Aria wandered out, her hands wiping down her jeans nervously. "Go alright?" He rasped, his body coiled tight for the news as he stood up when she approached. "It takes a few minutes." She replied, perching on the chair in front of him. "Right." Jeffrey nodded, biting his tongue in thought as he sat back down. "So uh... we'll wait then." Aria chewed her cheek and looked over the table. "What did you order?" "Breakfast stuff." Nodding, Aria drummed her fingers on the wood and glanced at the closed bathroom door. "Do you uh... do you want kids?" The question had Jeffrey's lungs freezing mid inhale, his mouth dropping open as though about to speak. He stared at her dumbly, the words rattling around his head as she watched him flounder. "Uh." "I mean I saw that interview awhile ago... when they asked if we were having kids soon. If Negan would be a daddy. You seemed... excited." "Well, I mean. I've thought about it... not with anyone in particular but now." "Because I'm late?" "Yeah obviously." He huffed, leaning back. "I mean when they asked, it crossed my mind. The idea of you being pregnant, us being parents. Before that I hadn't really gotten that far." "And now?" "Well, now all I can think about is figuring out what session of insanely hot, depraved sex we had caused conception." Chuckling at his wolffish grin, Aria offered, "maybe that time in the new kitchen?" "I think it was the stairs. That night we argued." "Maybe." "I mean I was really driving it home, if you know what I mean." He drawled, punching his fist forward for effect. "Yes, Jeff. I know what you mean." She replied dryly, her eyes widening as an alarm went off on her phone. "That's it." "Yeah, I kind figured." Jeffrey chuckled, catching the hand she swatted towards him. "Easy doll. I don't believe in corporeal punishment." "Will you look?" "You want me to look at the stick you pissed on?" he asked, his nose scrunched and eyebrows raised. "Jeff." "Seriously?" "Yes." Sighing, Jeffrey pushed himself up from his chair and wandered towards the bathroom. He was turning the doorknob when Aria was suddenly gripping his wrist. "Wait." "What?" He asked, turning to look at her worried face. "What happens if it's positive?" "Well, from what I recall, in about nine months we'll be responsible for the well being of another life." "Will we be okay though?" Turning around, Jeffrey cupped Aria's cheek and drawled, "Darlin', no matter what that piss stick says, we'll be fine."

Find Chapter Forty-Five Here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/166910475426/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-forty-five

I started posting this fic over on AO3 also. I will probably post in both places since I’m still figuring out AO3 formatting etc.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for updates. I’ll try my best to remember!

@magikat409 @cadeviolet @aforrester77422 @bethcarli @thamberlina @star017 @bec-brained-blarg @blackmother77 @adriannawiggins @jdm-negan-mcnaughty @negans-network @negansmutweek @cltex84 @audreychaz @wolfhart18 @ruggedasfuck @warriorqueen1991 @yellatthetopofyourlungs @hotfornegan @ladyynegan @ibelongtonegan @uhh-dope @brandi-sykestw @negandarylsatisfaction @londoncapsule @jeffreynegan @morganstopbeinghotkthx @sicksadtired @wolfgirl1074 @sophisti-kate-ed @jdmsgal @sasquaatch68 @spideygeek @arkhamasylumpatient-blog1 @cupcake5365 @ @soft-spokenangel @beegnc @mandilion76 @prettyepiic @beautifuldizasterfics @kitcat44 @mayuketchupytostones @ibelongtonegan @azanoni @alyisdead @mwesterfeld1985 @helena-mrs-murder @lovexxxkittyxxxblog @nu1freakshow @jenn0755 @skylouise12 @mysacredstardust @dramaqueenarg @ladyynegan @thatprettymvthafvcka @beltz2016 @hornsbeforehalos @disturbthepearls @writteninthestars288 @queenslandlover-93 @ledger-kaos @jackythemoossconcept @jdmsgal @lovesjdm @adixon13

#jeffrey dean morgan x oc #actor RPF #rpf #real person fiction #fanfic #jdm #jdm x oc #jdmorgan #real life fiction #too hot to handle #jesbakescookies #negan #negans thirst squad #negans-network #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Fanfiction #smut

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phanfeed-ao3 · 7 years

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Disturb the Universe

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2A0Cw49

by iihappydaysii

Dan and Phil are a successful YouTube duo, best friends and next door neighbors. Phil's married with two kids and Dan's long term boyfriend is like the queen's cousin or something. Their lives are fine--perfectly acceptable--but when two unrelated emergencies land Dan and Phil living together for the first time since 2012, they're forced to examine the choices they've made and confront the feelings they've kept quiet for nearly a decade.

Words: 1412, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dan Howell, Phil Lester, Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s)

Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Original Male Character(s), Phil Lester/Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Parent Phil, Canon Divergent, Mild Cheating, i try to deal with it very realistically, dan and phil are next door neighbors, Explicit Sexual Content, they have on screen sex with other people, just FYI, you get to see them being cute with kids though, so there's that

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2A0Cw49

#ao3feed #fanfic #phanfiction #phandom #dan howell #phil lester #danisnotonfire #amazingphil #phan #p

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sweetiepie1990 · 7 years

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Ok I’ve been seeing a lot of shit on the Jack Zimmermann tag, AGAIN. Which I was totally going to ignore. But then I found out that this started OVER A FUCKING PARTY.

I know this blog is 70% Aces content, but back in the day it was a hardcore Jarse blog. (That means both Jack and Kent. Not just Jack because people shipped them together.) I’ve had it up to here with this fandom, and we’re talking about it right now. So gather around kiddos.

Here’s what’s going down as far as I can understand:

Jack Zimmermann (who is NOT a professional hockey player, who stepped back from hockey for VERY personal reasons, and who deserves privacy) is currently going to college. His team threw a party at their house (thanks to the anon who clarified that the team invited a thousand people, but also? how did you know that??). Kent Parson, his former teammate, showed up and I’m assuming they interacted to some capacity.

So, I can see why this would warrant discussion. We haven’t seen them in public together since 2009 (although there was some speculation of Kent being spotted in the Massachusetts suburbs since then). This, however, is the first documented sighting of them in the same room in forever. If Kent was there to get him to sign for the Aces, that’s fine. Whatever happens, happens.

Yea the reunion of Parse and Zimmermann on ice would be interesting to see, but highly unlikely. They’re at different places in their careers and the earliest we’d be likely to see one of them get traded is two years from now. Also cool, if you still ship them. I get it. There are a fuck ton of fics about them being in the Q and being closeted and I get how that appeals to people on this website.

If you don’t, I get it. Whatever happened with Jack was intense and personal and HE DOESN’T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION. I’m very sick of seeing allegations of a coke addiction. If he did have one, he deserved time to recover; that doesn’t determine his caliber of playing now; and it’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

He’s not “holding Kent back” ok? Kent has a Calder, two Cups, and an Art Ross under his belt. If that’s your definition of “ruining” then I’d love to see the world changing shit you’ve been up to.

Also:

If he’s “bad for Kent” guess what–Kent might be bad for him too. We literally don’t know what went down between them. We don’t know if they’re still close or if this is the first time in years. It doesn’t matter. If you wanna speculate, that’s what fics are for. Go: write 30k about how they’re secretly in love and will end up on the same team eventually. Go: make posts about things that make them happy and include the other person on it.

Do NOT go harassing Kent on Twitter or Instagram to stay away from Jack, or threaten to burn your jersey if he gets ‘back together with that asshole’. His personal life is not meant to please you. Team loyalties are temporary at best; his entire identity doesn’t hinge on him as Captain of the Las Vegas Aces. You don’t own him. You don’t even know him. Support his image as spokesman of an organization that profits off selling athletes. Enjoy how charming he can be in interviews, and maybe buy his gear or endorsement stuff. Follow him on social media because you enjoy his brand. But please don’t pretend for a moment that he holds the keys to your happiness as long as he doesn’t associate with Jack.

((And just fyi, if Jack signs with a team, expect to see that team’s content coming up on my blog. I’ll always be in the Jack Zimmermann Defense Squad ™ . If he’s not your cup of tea I’ll tag him like I do everyone. Or unfollow me. Seriously.))

Furthermore: Eric

I’m happy there are people who enjoy the baking videos he makes (y’know, the point of the dang vlog). But the rest of you should stop. Why are you obsessing?? Because you want every tidbit of Jack’s life? You couldn’t leave him alone for four years while he gets his life back? Did you really need to invade his privacy so much that you stalk his teammate even though you could give a rat’s ass about Southern food?? Cool.

Which brings me back to– shipping and why it can be shitty in in the hockey rpf. Just because Eric says he crushing on a guy DOESN’T MEAN it’s Jack. And let’s say for two seconds it is Jack, and he and Jack fall in love. Have you ever stopped to consider that the NHL is homophobic af and that they probably wouldn’t go public at first if at all? Do you see how if you’re shipping turns into reaching out to people in rl about their “love interests” that you’re a) invading their privacy b) making them uncomfortable by expecting personal information c) putting them in potentially dangerous situations?

From what I’ve been told, Eric isn’t out to his family and I’m sure he doesn’t want them finding out because some rando from the internet decides to come up to him one day and grill him about his “awe inspiring love” for Jack Zimmermann.

Tl;dr Kent can date whoever he wants. He can go wherever he wants. Jack isn’t evil. Eric doesn’t need to be pulled into our bullshit just because he has a youtube channel and is Jack’s liney.

~END RANT~

#jlz discourse #ace of hearts #omgcheckplease #☕️ ☕️ ☕️#addiction mention #homophobia #post

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terresdebrumestories · 7 years

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stop. sexualizing. the. friendship. of. real. people. (anti-gross Scömìche bullshit forever). it baffles me how you all think they approve of this stuff because of a little teasing.

Youknow, I was gonna go for a flippant reply but you haven’t beenquite as insulting as the previous anon I got on the topic, and Ifigure putting my thoughts on this in order can’t hurt, so you geta long answer under the cut.

Preface:while I have written a couple of RPF fics before, including a coupleof shippy ones, I am not involved deeply with the RPF community andintend to keep it that way. Also, I will not get into the question ofwhether or not Scott Hoying and Mitch Grassi really are dating ornot, because I believe it is ultimately irrelevant to the discussionat hand and to the writing of RPF fic in general.

(Inany case, it’s completely irrelevant to my shipping, and I tend tothink the contrary would demonstrate an unhealthy levelof investment, but that may just be me.)

Withoutfurther ado (but with apologies to the tag for the unnecessary drama)let’s get on with:

Fanfan’sthoughts about RPF

So.‘Gross Scomiche bullshit’. There are two ways to read this:either you’re implying that RPF is gross in general and onprinciple (which I disagree with) or you’re saying that implyingthat these two guys, who are both part of the LGBTQ+/MOGAI/Queercommunity, could be in a romantic relationship is gross, which I alsodisagree with except with a lot more passion.

I.‘RPF is gross!’

Thisassumes that I (can’t speak for other RPF writers, obviously) writeabout Scott Hoying and Mitch Grassi as actual people, the way I could(but personally wouldn’t) write about a neighbor or a classmate.I’m writing about them as characters, by which I mean I am writingabout the fictionalized version of their persona they present throughtheir work with Superfruitand the various videos, interviews and live chats they’ve given asmembers of Pentatonix.

Here’sthe thing, we don’t actually know anything about what they are aspeople. What we see is a facsimile designed to imitate their lives,but whatever we see—and this is even more the case now that theyhave actual notoriety and actual PR to think of—is always releasedwith the knowledge that thousands of people will see it, analyze itand judge it, meaning it is notthe same as what they’ddo when unwatched.

Howmuch the two differ, I have no idea and, in any case, I don’t thinkit’s my business. They get to decide what they put in the publicsphere, and they get to decide whether the stop line moves, how far,etc.

However,once they put something up on YouTube or wherever fans can see it, itbecomes part of this semi-fiction that are public relationships. (1)I mean, I get why people don’t want to dig into that aspect offandom. Some people prefer to keep more distance with thenarrative—because, again, itisa narrative—because they can’t dissociate it from the peoplebehind it, just like some people can’t dissociate a movie characterfrom the actor who plays them, and that’s fine.

Ijust find it disingenuous to pretend like people shipping or writingRPF is the causeofthat dissociation when it is inherent in the very principle ofcelebrities sharing with the public. (Whether or not thatdissociation is a good thing or pronounced/obvious enough is aninteresting conversation, but it’s neither here nor there.)

Now,I won’t pretend there aren’t any problems with RPF. The fact thatcelebs get tweeted/mailed/forwarded links at RPF isa problem.They have a right not to be unwillingly exposed to stories writtenabout their fictional personalities, which I know can feel weird. (2)

Ialso acknowledge that sometimes things go far enough to weird meout—conspiration theory exists in every domain, apparently, and itlooks odd everywhere. There’s also the…oddly entitled tone thatsome anti shippers such as the anon I got a few days ago, who soundedalmost offended that Scomiche wasn’t an actual thing, like it was abad show plotline. (3)

Thatbeing said, I would also like to point out that I have, as of yet,never seen or heard of an artist sending links to their works(especially not their erotic work) to celebrities themselves. In myexperience, celebs getting linked to RPF usually comes in threeflavors:

A friend/acquaintance of them somehow found the RPF and sent itforward, presumably out of a ‘this shit is hilarious and they haveto see it’ sentiment

ATV/radio host went on a ‘I need something to laugh at and thesestupid delusional fans are the perfect target’ binge

Theceleb themselves went ahead and read fic, but those are usually awareof fanfiction beforehand, imo, should know better than to go lookingif they’re not ready to handle the levels of whackadoo-ing. (4)

However,none of these problems are inherently tied with the fact that thesubjects are actual people: they come from how people treat the ficthemselves. Actors and actresses have similar problems with beingshown fanart of their characters (which have their faces so I doubtthe weird effect is entirely absent there) and fans who write regularfanfiction are also mocked for what they do.

Soif you don’t like RPF, honestly, it’s your prerogative. You couldalso not have a problem with RPF but find certain fics gross, whichis alsofair. Heavenknows I’ve noped out/away from enough fics not to blame people whodo the same.

ButRPF isn’t inherently gross, any more than regular fic is, and whilethere are things to pay attention to in writing it (just like thereis in any kind of fictional writing) I honestly think the systemicproblems lie more with how people handle it than with its existenceas a whole.

II.‘Ew why can’t two guys just be friends?’

Thesecond possible reading of your ‘gross Scomiche content’ commentis that you basically find the possibility of them having a romanticrelationship gross which, well. You do realize how saying that to alesbian isn’t exactly the most polite thing, right?

Imean, honestly, I don’t want to spend hours on that part. Therehave been thousands upon thousands of words written about how the‘let them be just friends’is often mostly a newway of saying ‘keep thegay out of myface!’. Now, maybe you are LGBTQ+/MOGAI/Queer person, in which caseI apologize for the assumption of lingering homophobia.

Honestlythough, the only pairings that get more ‘ew, just let them befriends instead of making them all gay’ than white males are peoplewho are even more marginalized (lesbians, trans people, women ofcolor, you name it) so forgive me if I’m not exactly receptive tothat line of thinking, especially given the fact that, again, ScottHoying and Mitch Grassi are both somewhere on the rainbow spectrum ofsexualities.

Toput it succintly, that second possible reading of your commentstrikes me as either really bad wording or a frankly gross sentiment,and while I’m hoping for the former, the fact that I’ve literallynever seen or heard of similar comments for het-RPShipping makes mefear it’s the latter…and if it really is the latter I don’treally have any answer to the sentiment than a giant, rainbow-coloredfist-shaking.

(1)As an FYI, when I say PR is a fictionalized version of the truth, itdoesn’t only apply to celebrities. For example: two days ago, thenew French Ambassador of Cambodia visited my workplace. We werewarned several days in advance, and the whole place got scrubbedfloor to ceiling in preparation. Then, about 10-15minutes before thelady came in, one of my bosses made sure none of the teachers wereeating in the teachers’ lounge and told us, verbatim ‘pretend tobe working’.

Whenthe Uber-boss and the regular boss noticed I was looking at a boardgame in the corner, they hurried to explain that I teach children soyeah, this is totally work.Which it was, the ambassador just didn’t get to see that I was alsowatching Superfruit vids in between preparing activities for my kids.

Whatwe presented that day wasn’t a completefiction: I really am a teacher for kids and we really do work in theteachers’ lounge. But also we eat, we banter, we have fun, none ofwhich fits with the accepted workplace fiction of everyone being 100%at work all the time…which is why we had to create a facade. It wasclose—very close—to reality, but it still wasn’t real.

Celebritieswho are paid a lot and work very hard to make us think they’rehaving so much fun it’s almost like their don’t work, and alsolike there’s nothing they’d rather be doing than to meet a bunchof us and have the same four or five conversations over and overagain, probably get a bigger difference between their actual livesand their public persona. But I digress.

(2)Fun fact, @talysalankil once got an anon ask that shipped ustogether (I can’t remember if it was a friends ship or a romanticship) so I can confirm the thought of seeing stuff about beingshipped with someone myself was a strange one. I’m fine with it aslong as I don’t see anything (if there is even anything to see,lbr, it’s not like I’m actually famous, even on Tumblr) but Ialso acknowledge that I would probably not feel very comfortableabout seeing that potential material.

Thatbeing said, imagining there were any content to be found about me(again: highly unlikely) all I have to do is not go see it andeveryone can be on their merry ways because no one gets hurt.

(3)Full disclosure: my personal opinion, given the recent material I’veseen, is that these boys are either really, really unsubtle abouttheir love life and its current state, or they’re pushing the PRgame quite far indeed. Neither outcome is going to prevent me fromwriting RPF about their fictionalized lives if I damn well want to.

(4)Like, for example, I haven’t watched the Superfruitvid where they read RPF yet (I’m going through their channel inchronological order, sue me) but I do know Mitch mentioned being ontumblr all the time so I’d be really surprised if he didn’texpect at least someweirdness going in. Sometimes you get more than you bargained for,it’s true, but basic self preservation is a thing, guys.

#Scomiche #Writing Process #RPF #Comment Response #I should probably turn this into a tag #f: Scomiche sex friends to lovers #Nonners #My Posts #Assbox Adventures

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