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phantom-of-the-501st · 22 days

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Thoughts on the Batch's Ending

Ooookay. This is going to be a long one. (Little note from Steph who just finished writing this: it’s nearly 3000 words…)

Tagging @saturn-sends-hugs @inkstainedhandswithrings and @eriexplosion because I value their thoughts (but I'm also not demanding that you read 3000 words of waffle)

I’ve had a lot of thoughts about the finale of The Bad Batch and honestly, my mind is a bit of a mess right now. One of the things I just want to try and tackle is how I feel about the ending of each Batch member individually, because while I can look at it and say “The Batch got a happy ending!”, I feel like that doesn’t really give me much of an idea of whether or not each character got an ending that I feel is fitting for their story arc.

So, this post is basically just going to be me unpicking the ending for each of the Batchers and working out how I feel about it (aka me trying to unscramble the mass load of thoughts going on in my head right now).

Omega

Overall, I’m very happy with where Omega ended up. When you look back on how she was when we first met her, you realise just how much she has grown over the last few seasons. She didn’t just learn to be a part of the squad, she also learned how to look after herself. It isn’t just a development of her skillset, it’s also a growth in maturity, which allows her to have a clearer head and more rational decisions in the field. While Omega trusted her brothers to come and rescue her, she didn’t just sit around and wait for them, she hatched her own plan to not only get her and the other children out, but also help the Batch when they arrive at Tantiss.

Like Echo, she strongly believes in helping people and I love that that has carried through into her ending. While it would have been nice for her to live a quiet life, free of any more troubles, it makes complete sense for her to want to join the Rebellion. And I think it was at a good time as well. Omega got to spend the rest of her childhood being raised in a more peaceful, safe environment, before making the decision a few years down the line to go her own way. This is her leaving the nest and I think it was tackled incredibly well. You can see how she has taken on attributes from all of her brothers, and judging by her style choice, Phee as well. We see Omega using the support of her brothers to carve her own path and I love that.

Personally, I can’t really see a more fitting development in her story than this. And I’m reluctant to actually call it an ending because for her, this feels more like the beginning of a new chapter. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if we saw her again later down the road.

Hunter

Now those who follow me may be aware that Hunter was never my favourite member of the Batch. I didn’t dislike him, but I never really connected with him in the same way that I connected with all of the other characters. Saying that, it doesn’t mean I haven’t given a lot of thought to him and his character.

Hunter always had a lot on his shoulders. He was the leader of the Batch and that meant keeping a rag-tag group of defective clones in line, but it also left him with the belief that if anything were to happen to his squad, it would be his responsibility. So, with Crosshair and Omega stuck with the Empire, and Tech dead, Hunter had a lot to carry. At the beginning of Season 3 we saw that he had become more reckless and irrational, not really thinking about plans and wanting to jump straight into things. It was Wrecker who had to step in and make sure Hunter didn’t do anything stupid. Hunter felt like he lost control and that took a lot out of him, especially since this is something I think he could feel creeping up on him throughout Season 2, even if he tried to fight it. The Batch had started to make decisions without him, and Omega was forming close attachments to other people, which was digging a knife into Hunter’s fear of losing his squad. So S3 saw him trying everything he could to reunite the Batch, because he couldn’t bear to lose anyone else.

And he achieved that. But what I also deeply appreciate is that we see Hunter accepting that Omega wants to go her own way. This was something he didn’t want happening for a long time, but once he accepted that she was capable of looking after herself, and once he accepted that he could never keep her tied in place forever, he supported Omega in her decision to join the Rebellion. Yes, he will always worry about her. He even tells her that she will always be their kid. But he knows that it’s time for her to carve her own path, and that means for him, finally letting go and accepting that Clone Force 99 will never be what it once was.

Wrecker

Wrecker is an interesting one for me because he’s one of the few characters where I can’t really see a big step for his character in the final episode. For many of the others there is some form of acceptance, or big step in their lives, but for Wrecker I don’t really see that. And unfortunately, I think that comes from Wrecker never really being the focus of any strong character development throughout the history of the show. That’s not to say there wasn’t any growth at all, but when we look at how far everyone else has come in their stories, Wrecker always feels like he never got the same treatment in this show. The biggest growth I saw was when he stepped in to help Hunter when he could see the sergeant was spiralling.

So, while I’m happy he lived and has gone on to enjoy a longer, more peaceful life than we ever expected for the Batch, it makes me sad that we never really saw anything big for Wrecker in this ending. No big acceptance, no huge sacrifice. We don’t even get to see him say goodbye to Omega when she leaves. I love that Wrecker got a happy ending, but I always wish that we had gotten the opportunity to see more of a character arc with him over the course of the entire show.

Crosshair

I accepted a while ago that if any of the Batch members were to survive, Crosshair would be one of them because I didn’t expect the writers to kill him off after everything that he had been through. And thankfully they didn’t! I love that after everything, Crosshair has managed to find peace. Maybe not completely, but enough that he has the chance to live a life that doesn’t involve him being a soldier.

Throughout S2 and S3 we saw Crosshair come to terms with the fact that he was disposable to the Empire and that they didn’t care about him as much as he had made himself believe. And one of the things Crosshair fought with the most was his own identity as a soldier. For so long, he believed that that was all he was, all he could be, so that’s why it has been so amazing finally seeing Crosshair acknowledge that he doesn’t need to be a soldier to still live a life he deserves; his purpose is and always has been more than that.

Saying that, I want to address the hand thing because I am still unsure of where I sit with it. Following his escape from Tantiss, we see Crosshair has developed hand tremors as a result of his PTSD, and a decent chunk of the season has been dedicated to him learning how to live with them. The biggest reason for this affecting Crosshair so much was that it impacted his ability to be a sniper, which is what Crosshair believed to be his main purpose: he didn’t know what to do without the ability to use his hand. And we were given some incredibly sweet scenes between him and Omega as she helped him work out the best way to manage the tremors, for example, them meditating together.

But then that brings me onto my main issue, which is, why remove the hand? One of the reasons I keep seeing is that it removes Crosshair’s ability to be a sniper, but we had already seen that. That’s the issue that the tremors were causing. Crosshair had already been struggling with that ability as a result of what happened to him on Tantiss, so cutting his hand off as a way of preventing his sniping ability seems a bit unnecessary. Now admittedly, the soldier who cut his hand off didn’t know that he had hand tremors, so logistically it makes sense, but as a story tool it seems a bit bizarre to me. Personally, I think it would’ve been more interesting to pursue the idea of Crosshair learning to manage his tremors through meditation etc. and adapting to a life that has less of a focus on sniping.

Another reason I have seen for the hand is that it symbolises Crosshair finally becoming free from the Empire and what they did to him on Tantiss. Him no longer having the tremors indicates that he is no longer burdened by the Empire and his time there. But that doesn’t really work for me either. For one, Crosshair will never truly be separated from what happened to him there; even if he lost the shaking, he would still have a number of psychological issues as a result of what he went though, so I can’t see it as a way of symbolising a true separation. Which is once again why I think that following the story beat of him managing the tremors would have been a more interesting path for them to go down with his character.

Saying that, I’m still happy with where Crosshair’s story went. He is arguably the most complex character in the Batch and I’m so glad we have been able to see him develop the way he has. Him living a long, quiet life is something that I’m happy he has gotten, and I truly don’t think that him dying would have brought nearly as satisfying a conclusion as Crosshair finally finding a new place in the world.

Tech

Oh boy… this is going to be an interesting chunk of this essay. So errm… it turns out Tech is actually dead, which is… kinda shit.

Back when we saw him fall at the end of S2, I said that one of the reasons that I didn’t believe that Tech was really dead was because if he was, I would’ve found the writing kinda cheap. I said repeatedly throughout that season that I didn’t want all of his character development to simply be an emotional manipulation tactic to make us even more sad when he died… which is what it turned out to be. It doesn’t surprise me that Tech sacrificed himself, but it makes me mad that ultimately his death never really had any real impact on anything. I mean, they hardly even addressed it in the final season!

I get that animated Star Wars is known for rarely addressing characters after their deaths, but The Clone Wars focuses on so many characters that if we gave that much attention to every character that died, then we would never progress the plot. However, unlike TCW, The Bad Batch primarily focuses on a smaller group of clones and therefore not only has the space to explore the impacts that death would have on the squad, but really should find it a necessary part of the storytelling. The lack of attention given to Tech throughout this season has been beyond frustrating to me. He deserved better.

And I can’t write a section about Tech’s ending without addressing the CX-2 situation. Were we all delusional for believing that Tech was alive? No. Now before people come at me for saying that, I want to explain why that is the conclusion I have come to. You would have every right to label us delusional if there was absolutely no proof behind the claims that we made, but when the writers give us a character that both speaks and acts like Tech, what did they expect us to think? There were too many parallels between Tech and CX-2 for it to be coincidental and I still stand by the fact that we had reason to believe that they were the same person.

Now, looking at the other CX soldiers we see in the finale, they all seem to parallel the OG members of the Batch: there’s a larger one who primarily focuses on hand-to-hand combat, someone who favours blades, a sniper, and a more tech-savvy one. And I’m sure there is a reason for that, symbolically or practically, but if the fact that they all resemble the Batch is important, then why was so much focus put primarily on CX-2? There was no way we weren’t going to think that they would reveal him to be Tech.

Overall, I’m annoyed. Tech was such a brilliant character and I am so frustrated that not only did he get a death that I felt was kind of cheap, but he didn’t get nearly the respect he should have been given in the final season. Now, I’m not using this as a way to bash the writers, and I definitely don’t think that anyone should use it as an excuse to be bullies, but unfortunately, I can’t be satisfied with the way Tech’s story ended, and I’m not sure I ever will.

Echo

Last but certainly not least, Echo. To say that Echo means a lot to me is an understatement, and I was genuinely terrified that I might have to say goodbye to one of my comfort characters. But thankfully, our boy made it!

Following Season 1, we all wanted for Echo to get some more development. It never felt like he had truly been used to his full potential. And thankfully, Season 2 began to give us that. Yes, we ended up saying goodbye to Echo for half a season, but we saw some incredible growth in his character, and him choosing to join the rebellion made too much sense not to happen. Unfortunately, this also meant that we didn’t get to see Echo for the majority of the final season, but I am beyond grateful that what they gave us in these last few episodes has been some of the best Echo content that we have ever seen. Watching him grow and find where he belongs has been a pleasure to watch, He really is an ARC trooper through and through. Particularly in these last few episodes, seeing how much he has grown to be like Fives, and watching him carry on his brother’s legacy, has been so incredible, No matter what anyone says, I believe that he truly is one of the greatest, and most important characters that we’ve ever gotten out of animated Star Wars.

However, I do have one gripe with Echo’s ending, and it’s the fact that it doesn’t actually feel like a conclusion. If anything, I have more questions about Echo now than I did before the last episode. Echo going to the Rebellion is an absolute given; he still has stuff to help Rex with. But the fact that there is absolutely no mention of him in the epilogue has just made me wonder where he is. Omega mentions Crosshair and Wrecker, and we only see Hunter, so we know that Echo isn’t with them. But we also know that at that point in the story, Echo also isn’t with Rex (assuming we’re in Rebels era). So where is he? What is he doing? Is he actually dead at that point??? I really hope we see more of Echo in the future because if this really is the last time we see his character, it’s too open ended for me to really be satisfied with it.

But if I’m being honest, I really don’t think that this is the last time that we are going to see him. And especially with Omega joining the Rebellion, I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw another clone-centric show following these characters in the future.

Concluding Thoughts

All in all, my thoughts are still a bit jumbled. I still don’t know how I truly feel about everything, but hopefully this post at least gives some insight into how I think each character’s endings were handled. Will I change my mind at some point? Probably. But for now, this is where I stand.

At its core, I think the ending we got makes sense for a lot of the characters, and I’m glad that they didn’t all just die at the end. Sure, there are choices that I’m not happy with, but seeing that some of the Batch go on to live long lives is something that I’m very happy to see. It doesn’t happen enough in animated SW, so I’m glad we got to experience it.

#Star Wars #the bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #tbb omega #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb tech #tbb echo

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dottores · 1 year

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HELIOTROPES | THE SEGMENTS

summary: a background for all of the segments in heliotropes, if there is a ??? it’s something that will be revealed in the fic

warnings: mentions of anxiety, unpleasant home life, violence, my own hcs ab dottore’s background & how it fits in with the fic

do not steal my segments! i put a lot of thought and heart behind them.

KAPPA | 5 YO | THE BABY

dottore’s youngest segment, in the mindset of his 5 yr old self—before he was outcasted from his hometown while he was still living in a harsh environment with his parents who tried to keep him locked inside, stifling all of his curiosities. he is rather quiet most of the time, only enjoys physical touch if he initiates it and just wants to spend all of his time outside exploring but the thought of it makes him anxious because he’s stuck in the mindset that his parents put him in. he was created because iota was unable to see the aranara anymore. he thoroughly believes his soulmate will show up one day and is very eager to meet them. he still doesn’t fully understand why the other kids in the village & the adults were so awful to him.

IOTA | 10 YO | POST-VILLAGE

the second youngest. he was created right after he was chased out from his hometown, scar fresh across his face and emotional wounds still very very fresh in his heart and mind. he is extremely closed off and cold to anybody new, at least at first. he craves love and affection but at the same time he’s incredibly hostile when offered it because of what happened with his parents. his favorite thing to do is explore, which he can now do freely without his parents monitoring and restricting his every move. he’s particularly interested in old khaenriahn technology regardless of how dangerous it might be (hint hint). he’s very sensitive regarding the topic of soulmates—kappa was too young to really understand why he was being treated so poorly by the other kids and adults but iota is very well aware.

GAMMA | 15 YO | PRE-AKADEMIYA

the oldest of the young segments. he was created after he was accepted into sumeru’s akademiya but before he officially enrolled. at this point, he had been on his own for nearly five whole years and while he had learned how to take care of himself, he is awful with social interaction and doesn’t know what to expect going into the akademiya—all he knows is he is adamant on finally getting the chance to research khaenriahn society and technology. automatons are still his main interest, but he’s also beginning to dabble in elemental research. he doesn’t talk much about his research/interests, he’s not really comfortable with it. he’s less sensitive than iota when it comes to the topic of having a soulmate but he hasn’t given up hope yet, he’s still certain that they’ll eventually show up.

ZETA | 20 YO | AKADEMIYA

the first of the adult segments! zeta has around three and a half years under his belt at the akademiya and plenty of experience dealing with other students and the professors/sages. he hates everyone around him but he’s come to realize that social connections are really all that matter in sumeru city and if he wants the proper resources for his research, he has to get in with the right people and make them like him. butttt he’s at the point where there’s only so much longer he’ll be able to fake it all before he snaps, he’s already becoming a bit colder and more standoffish. he was created approximately one year before the sohreh incident. soulmates are a taboo subject, he has realized now that even if his soulmate is born, there’s more than a twenty year age gap and he doesn’t want to think about that.

THETA | 25 YO | POST-AKADEMIYA

yes, this is webttore. he was created a few years after being cast out from the akademiya but before pierro brought him into the fatui. he is on his own again but he’s far more unstable this time. he’s given up on trying to blend in with everyone else & controlling his emotions. his only focus is his research and he lets no morals stand in the way of progress. he’s rash and unpredictable and has very intense mood swings—he can go from pleased to highly irritable in a second. the other segments describe theta as having been created at the lowest point in their lives. the delta segment particularly cannot stand him. if soulmates were taboo with zeta, they’re even more taboo with theta.

DELTA | 30 YO | FATUI RECRUIT

hateful, aggressive, antagonistic, just not as flamboyant as theta. this segment was created in the mindset from right after pierro brought him into the fatui. he’s come to learn, again, that if he wants to advance the ranks and obtain the freedom & resources to do whatever he wants, he’s going to have to have at least some semblance of self-control. despite this, he is by far the most violent of all the segments—having to force himself to restrain all of his urges makes him eager to lash out when someone displeases him. if there is a trail of mangled bodies, you can safely assume that delta will be found at the end of it. he is the most antagonistic toward the theta segment, solely because he is the closest in mentality to him and does not want to be associated with him. he usually looks after the iota segment. at this point, he has convinced himself that soulmates are a weakness anyway but they’re still a rather sore topic.

RHO | 35 YO | HARBINGER PROMOTION

driven. that’s really the only word to describe rho. he was created in the mindset of dottore post-harbinger promotion. he is tunnel-visioned on success in whatever project he is focusing on. failure is simply not an option to rho. because of his propensity to obsess and hyperfixate until a goal is completed, rho is typically the one that dottore sends after rouge underlings or bold enemies—nothing escapes him. rho took in the gamma segment to assist with his research. soulmates are no longer a sore topic for rho but he would still rather not think about it.

EPSILON | 40 YO | ???

???

LAMBDA | 40 YO | THE OMEGA BUILD

???

BETA | ??? | ???

????

#series: heliotropes #— the segments #do not steal any of the segments.

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harrysmimi · 1 year

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Harry dates the reader's best friend and after they break up, Harry and the reader start dating!!! lmao I want to see drama 😈😈😈

And also related to this and this request. I tried my best to incorporate it all.

I hope this met your expectations as I tried my best. I'm just not the best at writing angsty angsts.

Ps. There won't be a part 2 to this. This has an open ending.

Six Weeks

Synopsis: One where YN's love with Harry but she can't seem to confess her feelings

More of my work

YN had an hour left before she got off work, so she started on lunch as she skipped on her breakfast to get her work done early.

Working from home came with it's own perks, she could work whenever unless she got her 8 hours in. At the end of the day her work was done, just had an hour before she could log out and enjoy her weekend all by herself. Today she woke up super early and started on her work so she can have a relaxing afternoon and evening. Taking a break from her freelance work which she is busy with on weekends.

Just as she was midway sauteing some onions her door bell went off. Lowering the flame to her stove she headed to get the door.

"Harry?" She was surprised to see an unexpected visitor.

"Hello love!" He exclaimed.

"Hi, come in!" She stepped aside to let him in.

"Thank you." He slipped off his shoes bythe door before he walked in, shedding his coat and hanging it up on the coat hook by the door.

"I thought you weren't going to be in town for another week." YN said, shutting the door behind her. "Do you wanna join me in the kitchen? The stove is on."

He followed her to the kitchen. "What are you making?"

"Just some rice, I'm feeling lazy today."

"I was done with my fitting and all early so came back to spend some time with Mum and dad and Gemma, before I go back on tour again." He answer her questions she asked before he got distracted.

They both talked and caught up since they last saw each other which was more than six months ago.

Harry and YN met just after One Direction announced their hiatus and he was back in London. YN was a new student, happened to be living at his mother's as a paying guest. His mum offered a few students to stay in at her's only if they're willing to abid to her rules, which many didn't but YN certainly did.

Harry was surprised how she was so only focused on what brought her to London in the first place. Her only ever leaving the house to go to college or work (though her dad really helped her out as much as he could), gave her a lot of time to spend with her land lady, Anne.

Anne and YN really got along well from the get go. Especially since Anne was fine with her using the kitchen whenever she wanted the girls spend their free time cooking up something. YN was taught few of her baking recipes whilst Anne was introduced to her guest's native cousin.

Mundane and might be boring. But they had fun.

YN ended up staying for the entirety of her degree course at Anne's, and for another six months before she found studio flat to rent and be on her own with a stable job.

YN and Harry met over at Christmas time, a couple of meetings and he got to know sbe doesn't have any idea of his work life.

YN liked to call her the most boring person to ever walk on the planet earth not no reason!

He had long jair back then, he was visiting his mum and sister as they had a fun holiday planned whilst YN didn't. She had to stay back in London and work on her assignments as the new environment and degree course was kicking her arse for good.

For most of the time YN was locked up in her room, going at her assignments and projects. Learning to be a software engineer wasn't easy. Till this day she regrets not switching her career paths.

Though it took a long time for YN and Harry to become friends, it was the best friendship either of them have had. Given the fact that both of them are so much alike yet so different. Cliché but very fucking true. YN didn't needed any friends, in fact she only made friend's with just one girl from her class and that was it, after graduation they grew apart. Where as Harry made friends everywhere he went, even though he's as shy as her and as reserved as her.

Somewhere in those moments YN grew to harbour some (or more) feelings for him. He was kind, yet he found his way to annoy her in most adorable ways.

Just when she was about to tell him about her feelings, regardless of the possibilities of infinite outcomes popping up in her head Harry told her he was seeing someone. That someone was her only friend from College, Elodie.

Yeah, that felt like a punch in the gut.

Since then Harry and Elodie have been in an on and off relationship.

YN grew over her feelings somewhere in those years, Harry released his first album, started on with his solo tour. Her dad passed away so she has to take up the responsibility as the oldest child to look after her family back home. Her mum's a house and her siblings were all little when it all happened. That gave her another reason to just get over her heart break. Though her feelings for him manages to revisit her whenever he's being himself around her. Which is all the time.

But YN's been there for Harry through it all and his highs and lows with Elodie. Especially with his lows. She listened to him rant about things he couldn't stand about his girlfriend anymore. Even when she cheated on him and he cheated on her.

YN didn't liked that. It was all against her morals but she respected him enough to not judge him.

Now him visiting her gave her vibes that he was going to complain about his girlfriend. Surprisingly he didn't. Not until he started asking about her. They had sat down for dinner after YN forced him too join her.

"How have you been?" He asked, filling up his plate, "how's your mum?"

"She's doing great. Having fun picking out guys for me to marry." She chuckled.

"Never knew you were into arranged marriages." He looked at her, eyes wide, "is it still a thing?"

"I am certainly going to have an arranged marriage, unless I find a guy my mum approves of. Which have high likelihood, I won't, given I don't social much."

"Do you have someone in mind?"

"No, not really." She shrugged, continuing to stuff her face with food. "What about you and Elodie? Thought she didn't liked you coming over to visit me."

Of fuck! She shouldn't have asked that.

"Uhh, it's complicated." He hesitated, "she broke up with me for good last week over text."

"What the fu-" YN interrupted herself in time but the sentiments traveled through, "over text? Why?"

"She thought I was cheating on her again just because Kendall came to my show in LA." He explained, "I don't think I wanna do this anymore."

YN kept to herself. They've been through it. She had tried to talk some sense into him but he doesn't like to take advices because he's a grown man.

More like a man child.

YN had a lot of shit on her plate so she didn't found it worth to talk to him about it and them ending up getting into arguments. It put a lot of strain on their own relationship with one another which YN hates so much. So she just settled on humming in acknowledgement to what he shared.

"Hmm."

"Hmm? That's all?"

"What do you want me to say?" She shrugged, "we end up arguing when I'm telling you something which you're not going to agree upon on. I don't find it worth putting out friendship through it all."

"I thought you'd atleast... Never mind." He sighed.

YN tried her best not to roll her eyes at him and have her meal in peace. She put on TV with her favourite show. All for next twenty minutes she heard Harry sighing and being gloomy, which annoyed her. For many different reasons but one reason which had priority was that he's visiting her after a long time. They can be happy for once and not talk about person she has now grown to despise.

"Harry can you not?"

"What?"

"Can you not be gloomy for once?" She decided to cut to it, "we see each other once or twice a year that's mostly when I reach out to you, or when you have problems with your girlfriend who keeps on cheating on you! I can't take this anymore! For once be a good friend you used to be." With that she picked up the empty dishes and walked in the kitchen.

"Okay, I'm sorry for wanting to confine in person I feel safe around." His voice sounded much louder.

"You do this all the time!" She raised her voice to match his too, "all you talk about is what she when you don't listen to me, so now don't even tell me a thing about her. I don't want to hear it."

"Fine I'll leave then!" He grabbed his phone.

"Please, don't be my guest!" She gestured at the door.

Harry grabbed his coat and he was out the door. Did he regret lashing out on her? Of course, he did. But was he going to go back and apologise? No, not tonight.

YN on the other hand felt awful. She had never once asked anyone to leave her house under any circumstances.

She tried her best to be friends with Elodie. Her feelings wasn't a secret from her friend, that she liked Harry. Yet her friend proceeded to go on and date him.

Was it wrong that she said nothing about it? Maybe it was.

Harry seemed happy throughout the initial stage of his relationship with his girlfriend. That she didn't wanted to ruin. But she did warned him around the first time when Elodie was first cheating on him. He didn't believe her.

Then when he found out, he came crying to her after the first breakup. Then it kept happening, over and over and over again. It made harder for her to get over her feelings for him, it gave her false hopes of her chance with him. At least she wanted to tell him how she feels and get it off her chest there. Now when she chose to not talk about it for her own sake she did not expected him to lash out like that.

......................................................................

It was official that YN was moving back home.

It has been a good three months and life has been going on the same as it has been. Her mum has finally found a good match for her (according her it was). Being brown comes with it's own perks of skipping the whole dating option.

It was good she thought. The guy her mum told her about seemed nice. Vihaan was his name. Apparently he graduated from the same college as YN in the same year with a law degree. But he's planning to move back home as well.

Perfect! - is what her mum said.

YN had managed to squeeze in a few dates with him in her busy schedule. Now it something entirely new for her and she hasn't been on any dates really.

Today though, he had asked her to go meet his parents. It's not too early for it being an arranged marriage. But YN had some stuff she had to get rid off, like some pots and pans. A few things she had borrowed from Anne which were long forgotten and buried deep somewhere in the storage.

YN also happened to find a few blazers she borrowed for Harry when she was interviewing for new job (well be forced to wear those to make a good first impression). She never got to give those back to him because he was busy when she was free and vice versa. It was a hassle. So she packed the stuff to return to Anne and make a run to her place before she headed to meet her future in-laws who were in town. She also took the blazers with her to Anne's so she return them to her son who's constantly visiting her.

"Hello darling." Anne greeted YN by the door, "what all of this?" She was surprised to look at the box in YN's hands and blazer covers.

"Just some stuff I borrowed from you ages ago." YN said, slipped her shoes off by the door before she walked in, "like the baking pans for cakes and stuff. I never got to use them by the way."

Anne chuckled, "that's alright, you didn't had to bring these back, dove. What's with the impulsive cleaning?"

"Oh no, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you." She waddled in managing to carry a big box because she couldn't find any smaller ones with her puffer jacket on. "Can I put this on the counter?"

"Yeah, I'll help you with that." Anne gave her a hand.

"I am moving back to India." YN got back to answering her question, "I might be getting married soon, don't worry I'll send you the invitation. And yeah, that's pretty much the reason for me moving back home."

"Awh, YN that's so lovely!" Anne cooed, "who's the lucky guy?"

"He's from my city but he was a student in my college, I didn't know that. His name is Vihaan, he's a lawyer." YN shared, and involuntarily blood rush creeped up to her cheeks.

"Did you mum chose him for you?" Anne was already onto making tea for both of them.

"Yeah, she did." YN nodded as she shrugged off her jacket. "Also can't wait to get out of cold already."

"Yeah? It isn't this cold in your city, is it?"

"No, not really."

"And how long have you known Vihaan?" The green eyes lady asked.

"About three months. I've grown to quite like him." YN shared, "he's sweet."

"And when are you moving back? Got to through you a little dinner." Anne enquired.

"In about six weeks. But you don't have to. In fact why don't you and Gemma and even Michal come over to mine for dinner?" YN said, "you can also meet Vihaan then!"

"Now that sounds fun, will surely come over one weekend." Anne rested the mug of tea in front of her and YN mumbled her thank you, "and what are these?"

"Oh these are blazers which Harry lend to me. Can you give these back to him for me, please?"

"Why don't you do that yourself? He's coming over to visit with his girlfriend in about..." She looked at her phone for time, "five-seven minutes."

The door bell went off.

"There he is." Anne did her little excited walk to the front door to welcome her son.

YN did not wanted to see him actually, especially after the argument that day. Plus he was back with Elodie with new pap pictures all over the internet which Anne's confirmation to hammer the nail to the rumours, it broke her heart all over again. She has been doing great without seeing him and without talking to him all together. She has been able to slowly move on.

Also her moving back home wasn't for anyone but her mum who was all alone. YN get's to still keep her job and be transferred to the branch in her city and she can still work from home.

"YN do you want to stay over for lunch, I made my roast and there is cheesecake for dessert?" Anne suggested.

"I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to pass this time. I'm going to have lunch with Vihaan and his parents." YN shared, "I'll be heading out after my tea."

"Hold on, who is Vihaan?" Elodie asked, excited for some reason considering the fact that her and YN are no longer friends, which everyone is aware of.

"My future Fiancé." YN answered.

"As in your boyfriend?"

"Nope."

"YN, you're already getting married?" Harry butted in, "you told me about this, what? Like, a month ago?"

"Three months ago, Harry." YN corrected him.

"Am I invited?" Elodie clapped her hands like an excited toddler, her dyed hay-like blonde hair moving on her shoulders. "Come with me, whilst Harry helps his mum with something he got her!" She grabbed YN's hand and dragged her to the living room.

YN somehow managed to not spill her hot tea anywhere and sat down on Anne's sofa. The kitties are lounging next tk the fire place under their little blankets. Anne has still got the blanket YN crocheted (which took her about a year to finish with her schedule) for the kittens.

"Tell me about him?" Elodie asked grabbing a throw pillow to keep on her lap, looking behind her to see Harry following his mum to her garden with a pot with got for her as a just-because present. "Hmm, now you can just stay away from my boyfriend, can't you? How fun!"

"What the- what do you even mean?" YN was taken back.

"He's always with you when he's in town. Which he rarely comes back to London. He's always vacationing or touring or filming a movie or recording yet another Album." She complained. "And when he is in London he goes straight to see you!"

"What's the matter with that? He's working. And no we don't see each other every time he's in London so don't sit there and say that."

"Why not? He cheated on me. Wasn't that girl you?" The blonde finally confessed.

Harry confessed to her that he cheated on her ages ago. But he have seemed to leave out the details of with whom. It certainly wasn't her. Hell, YN haven't even thought about even kissing him after he told her he was seeing Elodie. It wasn't like her all.

"What the fuck are you talking about? He didn't cheat on you with me!" YN has had it.

It might not seem alot but her feelings have been bottled up little by little over the last few years.

"Yeah, you always manage to come in between us." Elodie shrugged simply accusing her, "didn't you tell me you like him. No in fact you said you loved him! I'm finally confessing it to you because you're getting married soon, so I don't care!"

"Then why did you went on and date him, didn't I tell you I have feelings for him and I was going to tell him?" YN's eyes welled up with tears this time. "You were my best friend and I trusted you."

If she were a cartoon her face would have been blood red with smoke coming out of her ears. But she's a pro at keeping her anger in check.

She watched the blonde's expressions change, looking over her head her behind her. She found Harry looking right at her. Now how much did he hear?

YN decided it was better to leave now to create any drama at Anne's house.

"Anne, umm, I'm gonna go now." YN grabbed her jacket and coat. "I'll call you later this week? To plan out dinner at mine."

"Sure love." Anne nodded in agreement. She could sense the awkward and heavy vibes clouding her lovely home right now.

YN could feel her heart trying it's best to burst out of her chest raw. As her

......................................................................

YN drove to Vihaan's place and from there he was going to take her to the restaurant they were going to meet up his parents at. Now it was something YN was very hesitant about. Meeting his parents without anyone with her. Yeah it is common tradition to take your parents to see your future spouse's parents. And it was too early.

YN got bad vibes from Vihaan's mum, her future mother-in-law. He had told her he didn't wanted live alone even after they got married as he's the only son and he wished to take care of his parents, which she was fine with. It is a thing in Asia that the older son takes care of the parents, which she doesn't mind as she grew up with those practices and traditions. But his mum gave her weird vibes even though she had talked to the lady a just twice over a video call and text. That's all.

Mother-in-law's have this very bad reputation of being controlling and manipulative, which so far Vihaan's mum fit checks every category off. It started off with talking about her reconsidering her continuing her job after marriage. Be a housewife instead.

Which haven't yet to tell her mother about or else she would have handled it herself. Her mum was very supportive of her focusing on her career and she would have still wanted to focus on her career. Her own mum gave up her career when she married her dad, whilst her dad was a good husband and a father, she struggled to take care of her kids when he passed. Now that was something she didn't want for YN.

YN actually liked this guy. He checked all the bare minimum boxes for her. He was respectful, and respected her decisions so far. She was starting to like him as well. But he ignored her when she brought up his mum wanting her to quit her job by diverting the topic to something else.

Well, she haven't been strong into dating game, having been gone on just couple of dates. Never passed the second date phase with anyone she went out with. It was a very obvious red flag for her. But she's still got a time to be firm and talk about it. At least to her mum first.

She still went on with it. "What's wrong?" Vihaan asked on the drive to the restaurant. She stopped at a red light.

"It's nothing, just had a rough day." She explained. "I wanted to tell you something."

"Hmm?"

"You mum asked me to reconsider keeping my job if we were to get married." She brought up the topic which he managed to divert before.

"She did?"

"Mhmm, she did." YN nodded and started driving again once the light turned green again.

"Well, what is your decision then?"

"You know it." YN shrugged, "I just don't want your mum telling me what to do and what not to, that's all."

"What? She's going to be your mother-in-law, basically she's like your mother." He chuckled, nervousness evident in his voice.

"But she is not my mother." YN pointed out, "even my own mother never told me to consider keeping my job. Like ever!"

"I respect her for that." He nodded, "we'll talk about it later, okay?"

"Why not now? You can tell you mum to not interfere, if we are to get married. We need to talk about it now, or else I would not want to live with your parents."

"So you want me to leave my parents?"

"Well, I'm leaving my mother too. It's only fair." YN tried to keep it cool. She haven't talked this much in a long time and her jaw hurt already. She prefered texting over talking over phone calls.

She's the silent kind of person.

"She have your brother to take of her, and he is now that he's got a stable career."

"You know he just started like two months ago, he's a fresher," YN reminded him. A heavy sigh left her chest as she tried her best to be calm. Or else she was going to run iver someone or run into a pole or a building.

"I am never say you can't. My mum just asked you to reconsider it, not actually quit your job!" He started getting defensive about it, his voice going up an octave.

"Don't yell at me, I'm just trying to have a conversation. Please!" She sighed again.

She was feeling the same heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach she felt every time Harry told her he's got a girlfriend. It felt so bad, and she couldn't pin point what she was feeling. But it was something negative. But she stopped her car on a side.

"You know what? Get out, please." She said.

"What? Why?"

"I don't want to do this anymore." She announced, "go tell you mum I said I do not want to get married her boy."

"Where is this coming from, YN? I told you we can talk about it. Later. Okay?" He said, trying to talk to her like she's a toddler.

"Don't talk to me. Like that. Okay?" She mocked his tone. "Please!" She gestured to the way out of her car. And he stepped out of car as she said so.

It wasn't an over reaction, was it? She knew how it was going to be. Her in-laws are going to manipulate her into quitting her job. That's how it is. Even if they agreed to her (whish they don't het to have an opinion on) keeping her job now, they would guilt trip her into doing it anyway.

Just like her own grandparents did with her mother. Whilst her mum doesn't regret quitting her job for her kids, YN was sure she would.

Growing up her dad always made her life easy. Hell, she didn't even needed to keep a side job as she studied abroad. He even paid for her rent and other expenses along with her tuition fees the best he could, she kept a job just so she could live more comfortably and not trouble her father much more.

It was very hard on her, in every way after her dad passed. Because she had no one to rely on anymore. People looked at her with pity because she's not a fatherless child. It gets to her but she tried her best to not pay any mind to it. She's got her mum for her.

She called her mum the first thing when she got home. Luckily she didn't got her lease signed off, or sold any of her things yet like she planned on. She was going to reconsider other things now!

......................................................................

Harry was furious.

As he stood there on his place watching YN walk out of the door. She didn't even pit on her puffer she was in that hurry to leave. He knew YN wasn't the type to stay and argue, she prefers to take herself out of the situation until it's all cooled down enough to talk about it. He doubts she's even going to talk about it. Or to him at all after this.

Now he knew why YN stopped being friends with Elodie.

He felt like a biggest dickhead and dumbass to ever exist that he never saw that she liked him since the very beginning like he did.

Harry had grown to be infatuated by YN the first time he saw her. That grew into a small crush and he started liking her. Hell and heavens, there was a time where both of would text about hours and hours talking about literally nothing, sending each other funny posts to keep a conversation going. Fuck, how he missed those days!

And to hear YN say that she was going to tell him how he felt but he beat her to telling her her that he was seeing her other best friend from college. He thought she didn't like him that way.

Honestly, he was feeling lonely but his feelings grew for Elodie. He wouldn't lie there but everything died soon when she first cheated on him. He didn't know why he got back together with her.

Maybe because he found out YN was going on a date with this guy she met at work. Though it didn't work out after the second date. He felt even more awful.

God, even his mum knew about how YN felt about him. She never told him either. Well, why should she? They were both grown up adults and it was their personal matter.

If it were him in place of Elodie he wouldn't even consider going out with someone their best friend admitted to like. Well, he did went out with YN's best friend, he ain't a saint himself. But he wouldn't betray his best friend like that.

All Elodie did was feed of off him. The clout, the career boost. And he didn't even saw it until his mum pointed it out to him after he told Elodie to leave. She was bug face in modeling industry all of a sudden, she was getting bigger and bigger campaigns, even big magazine covers. All because Harry did not care if she talked about him because there was nothing to hide. He didn't realise she was using him. Even after she cheated on him twice. Made a huge fuss about it, even in media about him doing the same. He wasn't petty to tell after her. He would never do that. Even to his worse enemy.

He knew what is it to be under media and public scrutiny, 24 by 7, every day of the hear.

YN was probably his only friend who wasn't the part of the entertainment industry in anyway who managed to keep him on his toes. She didn't worked for any celebrity, she didn't even bother to be friends with other of his industry friends. Even his manager. She hates him in fact.

He betrayed her. In a worse way he could only imagine. This has never happened to him.

He went into his head space of thinking about if he would have been patient enough how things would have turned out. With a mug of tea in his hands as he sat on his make shift bed of the sofa at his mum's, Skye and Dotty fast asleep on his legs over the blanket on his lower body.

All he could think about was the stupid fit Elodie threw at his mum's house, like a fucking toddler. Luckily his mum was nice enough to not kick her and him out of her house, he was embarrassed. Yeah, Anne is his mum but it was still embarassing.

"Wasn't it her?" Elodie asked, furious of Harry when he brought up her recent cheating incident.

"It was never her!" Harry exclaimed, "it was never her, now if you're done Elodie please leave. This is my mum's house."

"I know who's house this is!" She hissed at him, "she made you cheat on me because she wanted to take revenge. She told me she's in fucking love with you! But I love you as well! It's not fucking fair!"

"Then why the fuck would you go on and cheat on someone you love?" He pointed out, but he doesn't want a answer, "you on what? I don't want any answers from you, we're done and through. Don't reach out to me again, just leave please!" He walked her to the door grabbing all his stuff. Shut the door behind him taking a few minutes to relax himself there.

His mum saw everything. She didn't know he ever cheated on any of his partners. But he did. He never wanted to tell him mum, because she raised him to be a better person. But she heard everything. And there was no way his mum didn't knew, it was public affair that he had a hook up. Elodie made sure to make it a public affair. But he knew his mum chose not to believe those.

"Hey, it's alright." Anne still approached him with a hug.

"I'm sorry, I didn't wanted you to know!" His face was smooshed in her neck, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." He kept chanting as he sobbed and sobbed.

"It's alright!" Anne assured him, letting him get it all out. After he calmed down he did talked about it to his mum.

He did hooked up with this random person, he doesn't remember their name, he was drunk and high. It was after he had an yet another huge argument with Elodie. He ended up taking that person his place he shared with her when she was on a trip for her runway show.

Confessing it and getting it all out was something which put him at ease there. He had one less thing weighing on his shoulders.

His mum convinced him to stay the night, so he made the sofa his home where Anne's cats usually sleep at night. But none of them were asleep really, running around like they're in a forest. Well half them were asleep on him though, so he couldn't move much.

He remembered, YN adores Anne's cats so much! And the feeling are mutually from the felines as well. They're not as kind to him as they're being now, maybe they can sense he's sad and feeling low. With Skye and Dotty both purring loudly on him, he didn't mind the smuggles. He needed that.

He was really sad. Not because he broke up with with his girlfriend. God, no! He wasn't. He couldn't bring himself to love Elodie again after this second time she cheated on him. They were through it, talked it out, but he saw that still coming through.

He was sad because YN was there the whole time. If he had waited for some time. Only if...

He feels bad being an asshole to her that day. She was still being nice to him, made extra food because he was over just in time. They were sat in her living like usual, not having to talk much and just enjoy one another's company there. He fucked it up.

YN was probably tired of his shit that she refused to talk about it. He gets it now. She probably still feels hurt though he doesn't want to assume, she was seeing someone else now.

But that doesn't mean he can't talk it out. So he tried to reach for his phone and immediately called YN to check in on her. She seemed so hurt when she walked out. But her line was busy. He felt even more horrible.

......................................................................

It has been a month, and YN was still miserable. She just had two weeks until she could finally go home for a while.

Everything started to feel overwhelming to her. Even working from home. She ordered groceries online to not having to leave her flat. Her car was probably going to hate her. So was her body when she eventually has to leave her flat for something or the other.

But she lost it and called her mum to tell her everything. Better share it with anyone than bottle it up. She was in her bed crying her heart out talking to her mum on the call. This is something she would go to Harry to talk about. But he's the reason she's crying now. And maybe that asshole Vihaan.

She liked him. The feelings were real. Her intuitions were never wrong. Well, maybe they were wrong with Elodie but with Vihaan they were not.

Apparently there was a huge scandal made of this issue back home, she had not energy to deal with whatsoever. Typical brown people behaviour it was. All she needed to know was that the marriage was going to be a total scam for her.

"Mumma, I really don't know what to do!" She sobbed into her pillow.

"I know it's going to be hard. Why didn't you tell him that you like him? You have." Her mum tried to console YN the best she could over a phone call.

"Because he was dating my best friend. Or he is, I don't know. I don't want to get in between my best friend and her boyfriend. That's not me!"

"And she did the same to you, did you tell her that you like this guy?" Her mum pointed out.

"Hmm."

"Now, we'll keep everything aside, okay? Come to see us for a week." Her mum suggested, "it'll help clear up your mind, hmm?"

"Okay." YN agreed, sniffling, "I love you Mumma."

"Hmm. Now go to sleep." Her mum scolded her, "and I love you too."

"Mm bye." YN hung up her call and put her phone back on the night stand.

It was early morning for her mum. She felt bad for starting off her day with whining and crying and complaining. But she has been crying non-stop since midnight and it's now half past three in the morning for her. Her head was throbbing as her eyes burn from dried up tears. There is so much of crying one can do.

She didn't even know why she was crying, that was making her cry even more. Her whole body ached which just added to her misery.

Yeah, YN you're probably overreacting, just go to fucking sleep! - she scolded herself.

Just as she was about to go back to sleep, sinking deep into her fluffy blankets with her hood on, her phone started ringing. It was from Harry she noticed from the red heart emojis which were on either of his initial letter. She turned her phone to silent.

It was nine in the morning. She hadn't slept a blink. But when she finally was going to sleep, there was a knock on her door.

Contemplating she gave up just ignoring him for many reasons, he might make more noise and her neighbours would be mad, or he might sit there entire day and night, talk to her through the door because she lives in a studio flat and her bedroom is literally in her living room, he'd do anything but leave.

"Hey, YN it's me, Harry." She heard him through the door before his knuckles met the hardwood again.

Harry on the other side of the door, tried to knock on her door, hitting his knuckles again on the door.

YN somehow managed to pull herself put of her bed. All she wanted to do was be miserable on her weekend before she could continue to be miserable back home for a couple of weeks. But here Harry was, knocking her door. Wrapping her fluffy blanket around her, she went to check on the door.

"Hi," Harry sighed in relief seeing her finally. "I, I wanna talk to you, cam I come in please?"

She just stepped aside to let her in. Right away he noticed her flat was pitch dark, with the light blocking curtains still closed up. He also noticed how red, puffy and swollen her eyes her, eyelashes still wet from tears.

YN just wanted to sleep in compensation of what she missed at night. That's all.

"YN-"

"Did I left out something to return?" She was already ready to sift through her boxes which were meant to shipped back home but she never got to take of those, so now half of them shoved into her closet and piled up in a corner.

"No, no— what, what are these boxes for?" Harry stuttered seeing all the boxes. She just shrugged for his dismay. "Came over to check up on you. You alright?"

Does her puffy, red eyes, runny nose and rosy cheeks look look alright to you, Harry? He thought to himself. He also noticed a big pile of laundry eating up her laundry basket by the bathroom door. She did not liked to leave dirty clothes piled up like that, whenever he was over, her washer in the kitchen was always running with something or other. Her electricity bill was mostly from running her washer, he wondered.

"YN!" He sighed and grabbed her hand to drag her to the bed, he made her sit there and found a place for himself on the floor in front of her. "YN, I'm so, so, so sorry, my love!" He proceeded to lace his fingers through hers because she let him as she stared right back at him. "I can't tell you how sorry I am for not seeing through it all. Everyone knew, even Dotty knew and I didn't. I'm so fucking sorry!"

He was referring to the conversation he heard of YN and Elodie. His ex took advantage of everyone. It wasn't fair.

Only if, he wasn't stupid and dumb and blind and dickhead it would have all been so fucking different! Only if!

"It took me six long weeks to come and apologise. I don't want to ruin anything between us. I don't want to loose you as my bestest friend!" He sniffled, "I know I've already ruined everything but please consider giving me another chance, please!" He looked up ather with his puppy eyes brimmed up with tears threatening to escape.

YN hasn't said a word since she opened the door for him. There is no use in ruining her friendship with him. Yeah, he went on and dated the person once she called her best friend — well, it was her fault to even consider a shitty person like Elodie a best friend — but he was her only friend. She have gone through being only his friend but was it worth it?

Was it worth it? Of course there were many different factors contributing to her low time now which is making her depressed. It was winter, her seasonal dipression was already kicking in, although she wouldn't say she's depressed. She's just sad.

She wants to be sad.

No one qas letting her be sad in peace. Not her mum. Not her brother. Not her Boss. No even herself.

"I don't know what to say." Is all she said. And that made him fall in silence as well. His shoulders slumped as a puff of air sighed through his nose.

Harry didn't know how he felt, truly. He had been worse. He had just managed to pull himself back from falling into his drinking habits. He had managed to keep his hands away from his favourite vodka for a week, to clear his mind and think straight. All he did was sleep all day if he was not being asked to work.

Right, asked to work. He had no motivation to work. His head was empty.

"I'm so sorry for what she did." He broke the silence. "I'm so sorry for not listening to you."

"Hmm." She sounded, accepting his apology.

Well, it felt so good to accept an apology for what it is rather than just waving it off and giving it a label of "it's okay".

The room fell into deep silence again. An awkward one this time. Before Harry spoke again here. "So, am I invited to the wedding?"

Give him a break please. He's been suffering too!

Whilst he knew thay was probably not the right time to invite himself to her alleged wedding, he was just trying to snip the thread of awkwardness in the air which was coming to his throat.

"I'm, I'm not... getting married." She shrugged taking in a long break.

"What, what are these boxes for then? Thought you were going back..." He stopped there. He was falling straight into his typical behaviour with her, he knows he needs to earn for his apology to be truly accepted.

"Yeah. I am. I am going back." She admitted.

Well, she'll be back after her vacation is over, which is for less than a six week. But still she would be working from home back home. She just hadn't had the energy to unpack her clothes from the boxes, and her pots and pans were laying homeless all around the kitchen.

A part of her didn't wanted to tell Harry about it though. Not at least until he's all riled up in anxiousness and panicking.

Cruel. Yeah, she knew.

"What? Why?"

And like she expected he panicked, so she just shrugged.

"YN!" He sighed, "why? You said you're bever going back."

She was partially joking all the times she have told him that. YN decided to stay quiet again there.

"Okay." He nodded. "I'm really sorry. Really very sorry."

"I know."

"Okay." He nodded again, keeping his head down. "Do you want me to make you breakfast?"

"No."

"Okay." He sighed again.

"You know Harry?"

"What?" He lifted his head to look at her, found her getting comfy in her bed by the missing head board on her single bed.

"I'm so glad you came to terms with everything with Elodie and now you know why I'm no longer friends with her." She spoke, her voice was dry, nasally and hoarse from crying so much. "I've always had bad luck with friends I guess and I continue to do so. Thought you'd not be like everyone else. I was proven wrong the moment you told me you're seeing my best friend. Well, best friend back then. While all the time I have been very obvious about my own feelings towards you being more. Still, letting it go was the best thing I could do, but I'll admit it that I always felt happy each and every time you came to me and told me you're done with her. I'd gather up everything in me to finally, finally go upto you and tell you everything but I just couldn't. And it hurt so fucking much, hearing you be so freaking heartbroken pouring your heart out to me for you to just to get back with her. I'm do not want to sit here and hear another break down just for you to go and dump everything in gutter. And for you to tell me you reciprocated the same feelings for me. I can't bring myself to trust you on this."

Platonic heartbreaks hurt like a bitch if not more than a romantic break up. And YN couldn't bring herself to tell him everything just because Elodie qas once her friend. Doesn't matter they were no longer friends. It all went against her morals. And he never trusted her as a friend when she told him about his now-ex cheating on him shamelessly, without any remorse.

"I don't know if I just want to take your sorry and tell you it's okay, because it's not. To me it's not. It still hurts. I forgive you but it's not okay." She concluded her little confession. All Harry could do was sit there and process everything she said to him.

"I know. I know it's not okay, YN. I just... don't want to ruin it with you. I know I should have said that, not atleast now. But you're my best friend. My only best friend!" Now he could see his vision getting blurry with tears brimming up in his eyes, as he choked and stumbled on his words. "I swear I'll never talk about yet another break down of mine. I just don't want to loose you as a friend, YN. You're my rock!"

"Don't you think it's going be harder to stay friends after all of this?" YN asked. She felt a sting in her heart seeing his teary eyes. She barely falling for it though.

"And don't you think it's going to be better to be friends especially when we know how we feel about each other?" He counter questioned her, just to to get a dry and blunt answer from her.

"Nope." She shook her head, "I can't trust you or anyone for the matter of fact." And Harry's head dropped again as a few tears fell onto the fabric of his grey sweats on his thighs. "I need time."

"You promise we'll reconciliate?" He asked. "As only friends."

"I don't know."

"Please."

YN truly needed time to think about everything, get herself together. That's why she was going to take a break.

"I'm not going to promise anything to you, Harry. Really. I'm going back home for six weeks and we'll talk about it after—"

"Alright." He agreed in a heartbeat cutting YN midway.

"Alright."

"Can I hug you?"

"Mhmm." She agreed. Least to say he was just way too eager to hug her finally, nuzzled his face in her neck.

......................................................................

N O T E :

Hope y'all liked it, this was requested on Tumblr ages ago.

There won't e a part two to this one, hence why I left an open ending.

Ik the character of Vihaan should be explored more here but quite frankly I didn't know where to take that character so I left it there.

Please, please leave a comment about how you liked it and what you think about my writing. Reviews are great encouragement to write more. <3

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natrogersfics · 11 days

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The Anthology - Prologue

Artwork by @faith2nyc Read on AO3 He really should be paying more attention. The thought crosses Steve’s mind as he listens to the directors take a question from the vast crowd gathered before them. What the question is about, though, he couldn’t say. By all accounts, he’s very much aware of what a privilege it is to be teasing an upcoming project at, of all places, the legendary Hall H of Comic Con. And while he’s grateful for the opportunity, and even more so for the palpable enthusiasm of the fans in the room, with this being their third promotional engagement of the day, the banal inquiries have grown cumbersome.

They couldn’t even really talk about the project, anyway. Not with the studio’s policy of devout secrecy when it comes to the plot. What details he and his colleagues could divulge about the scope of the movie have been so extremely limited that he’s surprised that not only have they been able to keep this panel going for the last hour, but also that the crowd hasn’t tired of the non-answers they’re being given.

It's with that fact that he’s able to extinguish what guilt he’s feeling about his lack of interest at the moment. With another glance at the crowd before him, he carefully slides the napkin that was once underneath his coffee cup to his left, and from the corner of his eye, he catches the way his costar takes her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to suppress a smile as she looks down at the table to see the grid he’d hastily drawn. Natasha clicks down on the top of the pen she’s been twirling between her fingers, scribbling an X on the centermost square before pushing the napkin back towards him.

“This question is for Natasha,” the panel’s mediator announces. “What do you think of Captain America and Black Widow being paired together for this film? Doesn’t it seem like an odd partnership considering that morally, these characters exist on opposite ends of the spectrum?” “I guess you’ll just have to see the movie to find out,” Natasha quips without missing a beat, eliciting a laugh from both the crowd and their castmates. He rolls his lips to keep from beaming. Such a professional. “But in all seriousness,” she continues, “I think these characters have a lot to learn from each other. Cap very much lives in black and white and Widow is highly comfortable operating in the gray, but as you'll see in the film, with the challenges they face, they’re both going to have to learn to be comfortable in each other’s moral spheres. So, yeah, an interesting dynamic to see play out for sure.” “Now that we’re on the topic of dynamics,” the mediator says. “In the teaser that was played exclusively for us today, we find Cap and Widow looking like they’re on an undercover mission. Widow is doing her thing, Cap is looking uncomfortable but also really… entranced by her, maybe?” He pauses as the crowd voices their agreement. “What do you think, Steve? Is this where Cap finally finds his perfect partner?” “Well… our Executive Producer, Kevin, looks just about ready to tranq dart me, so I’m going to pass on that last question,” he says as another fit of laughter echoes throughout the room. “But one thing I will say is, this is a whole new world for Cap. It hasn’t been that long since he was in the ice, so to see someone like Widow who’s so quick on her feet and razor-sharp in her environment, yeah, I think you could say he’s entranced, if not completely in awe.” “Interesting that you say that because even with what little we saw, it’s obvious that Cap and Widow have sizzling chemistry…” The crowd begins to hoot, and the mediator smiles like a cat that’s caught the canary. Here we go. “Could that have anything to do with your chemistry with Natasha in real life? I mean, I think I speak for everyone here today when we say that we’ve noticed.” The crowd cheers, cajoling him for an answer, and when he steals a glance at Natasha, he finds that she’s turned his way as well, an amused expression on her face. “It’s true, you guys are noticing something…” he begins as he turns back to the crowd. “And that’s Natasha being absolutely tremendous at her job.” A chorus of laughter reverberates in the hall before the mediator turns to Natasha. “Is that true, Natasha? Is movie magic all this is?” “Oh, for sure,” Natasha says, her tone serious even as her smile says she’s anything but. “Have you seen him? Who wants to be close to this” – she gestures towards him – “all damn day?” She scoffs. “It’s a chore.” He tips his head back, one hand flying to his chest as he laughs along with the entire room. Next to him, Natasha just shakes her head. “But no, Steve and I are great friends. That’s all you’re seeing there.”

“Great job out there, both of you,” Kevin says when they finally make it backstage after signing autographs at the end of the panel. “You had them eating out of the palm of your hands! You guys are total pros and I’m so glad you’re friends. Makes my job a lot easier, that’s for damn sure.” “We aim to please, boss,” Natasha says with a two-fingered salute. “And please you do,” Kevin says. “And as a show of my gratitude for soldiering through a full day of promo, why don’t you two take the rest of the day off? Grab dinner or something. On me.” He turns to Natasha. “I’m game if you are.” “I think I can free up my evening,” she confirms. “But I do have to grab my purse in the back.” “I’ll leave you two to it then,” Kevin says. With a final nod at their producer, they begin to head back towards the green room where the cast was gathered prior to the beginning of the panel. The walk takes longer than usual as they stop to greet familiar faces and pause for conversations and pictures with excited fans, but he doesn’t mind. He didn’t hold any love for extended press conferences, but this part of the job – meeting the people who his work resonated deeply with – is one he holds dear. “Where do you want to go?” Natasha asks once they make it back to the room and she walks over to the corner to retrieve her purse. He looks around the empty room before following close behind her. “Don’t care,” he mutters, causing her to turn. His hands find her waist then, and she gasps in surprise when he pulls her close and slants his lips over hers in a kiss that’s nothing short of a claim. Her purse falls to the ground with a thud, but neither of them pay it any mind as she snakes her arms around his neck. There’s an amused smile on Natasha’s lips when they eventually pull away, the both of them heaving for air. “What was that for?” “This…” he says, his fingers toying with the hem of the colorful chiffon blouse she has on underneath her blazer, giving him just a glimpse of her skin through the material. “Has been driving me crazy all day.” “That was kind of the point,” she says, a devious smirk painting her lips. He narrows his eyes at her. “And here I was about to make it up to you,” he says, watching as she raises a brow up in question. He grins. “You know, seeing how working with me is such a chore.” “It really is,” she laments jokingly, causing them both to chuckle. She trails her hands up his arms, feeling his biceps through his sweater as she looks up at him from underneath the fan of her lashes. “And it’s going to take a lot more than dinner to convince me otherwise.” “Is that right?” he asks, watching a glint spark in her eyes. “In that case, your place or mine?”

Read Chapter 1: The Bolter here

#Romanogers #The Anthology #Captain America #Black Widow #steve x natasha #Movie Star AU #Alternate Universe #the tortured poets department #the tortured poets department: the anthology

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amywritesthings · 11 months

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silver underground. / chapter 10.

( Read on AO3 )

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x F!Reader (Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin)

Word Count: 4K

Summary: Day 163 - also known as the day the world changed

Warnings: dual pov, mentions of sensuality, bloodshed, graphic violence, titan deaths, peril, cliffhanger

Previous Chapter. / Next Chapter. | Masterlist.

CHAPTER 10.

Don’t leave me.

He wouldn’t.

He’d never.

Whether you remember that past conversation with him or not, Levi promised it would be the one thing you could rely on. He intends to stand by his word.

As a Scout, as a friend, as whatever the hell the two of you became between the darkness of morning until the disappearance of day—

Yet reassurances go so far.

He’s only a man, flesh and blood.

He cannot will your memories to return — believe him, he has tried.

Fuck, he has tried.

No matter how hard he stares when you aren't looking, or how vast a distance he creates between the two of you, the world you once knew doesn’t seem to be returning any faster. There are glimpses as wide as slivers about inside jokes, hopeful hypotheticals — a secret language.

Yet you’re remembering the bad well before the good.

Given the trauma, it makes sense.

The way Hange explains the fractal mess of your mind, bad before good makes sense, but it doesn’t make this shit any easier.

This shit — going at a pace that not only comforts you but protects him.

And he failed at that pace so hard that he doesn’t know what to do except demand your immediate replacement here on the first watch.

Levi cannot see your departure, but he hears the ODM gear wheeze to life as you finally — finally — obey a direct order. The sound echoes through the quiet of night, leaving the captain to revel in his own heavy breath.

You listened.

Thank fuck, you actually listened.

If only you hadn’t pushed.

(If only he could have found the tact in yesterday’s spat rather than drowning in his own panic.)

All things considered, he has managed to handle your return to the Levi Squad with grace — minding his time, allowing you to learn your environment and grow as this new person.

Because that is what you are: new.

New and brilliant, yet just as determined and formidable as you’d always been.

But you aren’t her, not really. You share the same eyes, the same nose, the same smile, the same face; you have similar hands, similar stances, similar voices; you are identical, in every sense of the word.

You even kiss the same.

It’s a torturous realization he’s going to have to live with for the rest of his life.

His lips still feel electric, face hot from the fingernail scrapes on his cheeks. His hands keep flexing like they’ll be able to reach for you again.

It’s all he wants. It’s all he can think about.

If you hadn’t listened, if you’d pushed further — pulled his hair, pressed your chest into his, whimpered his name — he would’ve lost his mind.

Arguably he has lost his mind b ecause, when you kissed him back, the world was right-side up. Levi could swear he was right where everything left off. Having you in his arms again felt so goddamn good .

You fit like you never left.

Like your muscle memory held onto him, absorbed him, when your mind slipped away.

(How badly has he fucked up?)

“You didn’t need a second pair of eyes.”

The words rip him clear from his spiraling thoughts. Levi lifts his chin when his second-in-command of the squad meets the proverbial hornet’s nest.

Waiting.

Uncertain.

Levi gently shakes his head. “No. I didn’t.”

“Then why did James ask me to join you?” Eld asks as if afraid to poke too hastily.

Levi keeps his back turned.

“I didn’t want her to feel like she’s isolated with only me,” the shorter man says, lying through his teeth. “She already feels like a freak. I don’t need to constantly babysit her. She can take the second watch with Oluo.”

Eld sighs, gently. “He’s going to talk her ear off.”

“She’s not afraid to tell him to shut up,” Levi reassures. “She’s still James.”

For a moment, Eld stays quiet. Levi’s thankful he does.

The second-in-command Scout shifts, walking across the flattened branch with apprehension.

“This feels a lot like last time, huh?”

Finally Levi turns his chin towards the sound of a twig breaking under a heel.

“What do you mean? Speak your mind, Jinn.”

“As in the forest, the expedition…” Eld trails off, his chin to the clouds. “Kinda like we’re right back where we started. I want to be optimistic and say it’s a second chance, but it feels more like a do-over — right?”

Levi chooses not to agree.

His silence does that for him.

“What was that all about?”

Although Petra’s voice is monotone, the sound of it startles you.

Oluo is sleeping, dead to the world. Gunther has taken to relieving himself somewhere in the forest.

It’s just the two women of the squad at base camp, but you would argue that you’re not here — not really. Not beyond your body as you huddle close to the fire.

The tingle of his lips pushed against yours lingers long after you’ve departed. There is a haze in your brain that takes over the fog of your amnesia, settling on a feeling beyond all else: warmth.

Lying to Petra is probably your easiest route.

Telling her that you nearly went fist-to-fist with the Captain could make sense, given the spars at the castle, except you can’t do it.

Over and over you replay the event of him shouting in your face, how you egged it on so seamlessly — then it all blanks.

All you can think about is his lips.

You’d rather sport a shiner from disobedience.

Anything is better than the pink of your lips, the lines on his face.

Mistakes. All of it.

(Right?)

“We fought,” you provide just as flat.

“I know,” she says. “I heard.”

Fear turns your blood cold.

“You used to do that a lot.”

You lift your gaze to study the glow of green on her back from her cloak as she packs up food rations and shovels them into a satchel.

“Argue to the brink of a fist fight,” she clarifies. “With Captain Levi.”

When you say nothing, she cranes her chin over her shoulder. Although she doesn’t smile, her tone turns melodic. Cheery, like there’s something funny between the lines.

“In the past, you two had a knack for disagreeing. You didn’t mind getting in his face. I’ve never seen Levi get so openly angry. It’s a wonder he never punished you, but I think it's because you both... well, you grew up together. You remember that, right?”

So fighting was a common occurrence.

(Did he always end his argument with a kiss?)

"Yeah, I remember that," you hoarsely answer.

Her shoulders drop with relief. "Okay, thank God."

You squeeze the fist at your side. “So how much of the fight did you hear?”

“Don’t worry,” she assures, poking the dying embers with a stick. “I didn’t eavesdrop the specifics. All I could hear was Levi shouting, then it got really quiet. But…”

Petra trails off, her eyes flickering over to yours.

“...is everything okay?”

She can’t know.

None of them can.

You nod. “Yeah. Just… told the captain I was mad I didn’t get to take down any titans. He wasn’t a fan of me questioning direct orders, and I told him that I wasn’t a fan of his need to stick me on the sidelines.”

Not completely a lie, but not wholly the truth.

“I could tell you were pretty frustrated back there. But, hey, we all know you’re still a badass, James,” Petra reassures with a smile. “I think he’s just being extra careful, all things considered.”

Don’t shut me out.

Won’t.

Don’t leave me.

Never.

“Yeah,” you agree, vocal chords taut. “All things considered.”

Fingers curl softly around your bicep, shaking you awake.

You breathe new life into your body, panicked when you see the stoic expression of Gunther peering down at you.

“You good, kid?”

“Yeah,” you murmur, quick to press your palm into the earth beneath your aching body. You push, hard, to sit up. “What time is it?”

“I let you sleep in a little longer,” he mumbles as he holds up your pack, "since it’s been a little while. We’re venturing out in fifteen minutes.”

“Okay,” you tell him. “Thanks. Give me a sec, I’ll help with cleaning up.”

“Don’t worry about it. I took care of your horse and mine. All you have to do is get yourself together so we can continue onward.”

"I'm... thank you, Gunther."

Unlike Levi on the first leg of the expedition, Gunther speaks with empathy. As if he somehow knows something is wrong, haywire, and you dislike the lingering feeling of uselessness that seems to follow you in a constellation tying you to the rest of the team.

You want to be valuable, but they won’t let you.

You want to be part of the squad, but they’re too scared.

You’ve remembered enough of the end — finding yourself in a freefall to the ground, the roar of a titan just out of reach hoping to snatch and swallow you whole —

Enough to know why they’re acting this way.

Because it’s the same forest.

The scent of the morning dew peppered along the weeds on the ground clued your senses to it. You recognized the sensation in the middle of your slumber after the second watch, but consciousness drives the confirmation home:

Everyone’s on edge because of what happened last time.

(You’re not a liability. You can do this.)

By the time you gather your pack, brush the accumulated dirt from your uniform and stand, you see him: Levi Ackerman’s back is turned to you, tending to the black stallion at the edge of camp. He gently runs a palm over its mane, gentle and sincere.

You find yourself yearning to call for him.

You can’t.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty’s joined us!” Oluo calls with a hefty chuckle.

You turn just in time to watch the smug older man walk past you towards his horse.

“It’s her first mission back, Oluo,” Petra reminds sharply while pulling her pack over her shoulder. “Leave her alone.”

Oluo snorts as he mounts his horse at the back of the formation, straddling the saddle. “Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t get stuck with the silent treatment last night.”

“It’s only because you’re a terrible conversationalist, Oluo,” you force yourself to jest, pushing out of the twilight that last night’s problem has set you in.

Eld whistles low. Gunther snorts. Petra can’t help but grin.

“Terrible conver— I’m— I’ll have you know, I am a wonderful conversationalist,” he argues back in a sputter.

“To what, the birds?” you ask flatly, making your way to your horse. The animal bristles as if it means to huff in amusement.

“You used to think I was wonderful,” Oluo remarks.

“When?” Petra chortles as she hops onto her horse, the last to join. “Was she asleep?”

That earns an open-mouthed laugh from Gunther. “Even then, she used to make earplugs to block out all of Oluo’s hot air — or, as he’s calling it, conversation.”

“Oh, sure, pick on poor Oluo,” the older man grumbles.

“Did I actually make earplugs?” you ask, trotting your horse into yesterday’s diamond formation. Eld and Levi have already assumed the same positions as before. They remain silent.

“Yeah!” Petra answers. “You used to really rag on Oluo back in the day.”

“It hurt my feelings,” Oluo adds.

“Oh, please,” Gunther snorts. “You were thrilled a woman was paying attention to you.”

“Are you implying I receive zero attention from women, Gunther?”

“There weren't any implications, Oluo,” Gunther reassures with utter sincerity.

Petra squeaks with amusement, round eyes peering over at you.

Oluo’s face falls a second later in realization.

“Hey—!”

“Oi. We’re moving out.”

Levi’s voice cuts the banter, causing the four of you to momentarily stop the chatter. Simultaneously your heads turn to view Humanity’s Strongest as he cranes his chin over his shoulder.

“Stick close to each other. Be alert.”

“Yes, sir,” the four of you reply together.

With that, Levi Squad departs.

In the early hours of the morning, the forest is beautiful. Shades of green fill your surroundings, blocking out the rest of the world. Birds chirp happily and cast shimmering shadows on the earth beneath the charging horses’ hooves.

It’s easy to forget the chaos and carnage of the world here.

As if there won’t be buildings in ruins at the end of this curved forest, dilapidated and rotting away with the newly grown vines of the environment. As if there aren’t stories of torn-apart families and lifetimes of trauma burnt into the very roots of the weeds and flowers that flourish where human feet used to walk.

You once believed coming to the surface was the ticket to paradise.

You would have given anything to feel the sun on your face, the shade from overgrown leaves, the scent of fresh air.

Briefly you stare at the back of Levi’s head as his dark hair bounces with the movements of his horse.

“You’re worried about going up there?”

“You can’t really want to spend the rest of your life down here, right?”

(Was the surface any better than what the Underground offered below?)

“Hey!” A voice rips you out of your mind, and you see Oluo grinning behind you. “You’re spacing out after getting the most sleep out of all of us?”

“I was just thinking about how Gunther’s right!” you quickly recover, and Gunther outright chortles at your abrupt insult. “When’s the last time you had a girlfriend, Oluo? It had to have finally happened during the time I was out, right?”

The question makes Petra tilt her chin to the sky with a giggle.

“Oi!” Oluo scowls. “Don’t you lecture me about a lack of dating life, Miss Amnesia.”

“Remember that one time James dared Oluo to ask that really nice Trost barmaid for dinner?” Petra chirps, riding alongside you.

“If you can call it that,” Gunther reminds. “Guy couldn’t even say hello to the poor woman.”

“Froze up,” Petra gravely agrees.

“Almost gave her the wrong name,” Gunther adds, deepening his voice. “Greetings, beautiful, my name is Levi—”

“I did not!” Oluo shrieks, causing Levi to sharply turn his head at his name.

“What?”

“Nothing, Captain!” Oluo recovers, waiting for the man to turn back around before he leans over his horse to seethe back at Gunther. “Are you trying to get us in trouble?”

“Did you end up asking her out?” you jump in, readjusting your grip on the reigns.

“Oh, you’ve seriously got a memory problem.”

“I think it’s been very established that I do.”

“Because I know your ass would delightfully recall that you were the reason I got rejected,” Oluo says with a sharpness.

“Me?” you ask.

“Yeah, you,” he grumbles. “Pretended to be my goddamn wife.”

“You’re joking.”

“Caused a whole scene,” Gunther mocks in a grave voice.

Petra grins with a nod. “You put on a pretty great show, Lieutenant.”

“I would have only intervened if I knew your attitude was scaring her, so you must have done something stupid, Oluo,” you tease.

“It was not my attitude that scared her away. It was you.” Oluo groans, waving a hand carelessly to the wind. “And if you—”

Something thick enters the atmosphere of Levi Squad’s formation.

Something large waiting between two large trees.

Something grinning.

Tall. Thirteen meters, give or take.

(The biggest titan you’ve seen in the wild to date.)

And it doesn't hesitate to strike.

Helplessly you watch the abnormal titan’s hand reach for Oluo’s torso, forcing him to abruptly detach from his horse.

Its pinky finger narrowly misses Oluo’s cape.

The sharp whizz of his ignited ODM gear fills the air as he departs from the group, suddenly trapezing through the trees. The abnormal, distracted by the fast-paced movement, follows swiftly after the Scout.

“Oluo!”

You whip your attention behind you, calling out to your attacked colleague with concern. The titan continues to follow close behind, swiping mindlessly with both fists to catch him. Oluo twirls expertly through the air as clouds of gas exhaust trail his movements.

In and out, left and right, he disappears and reappears through the thick trees lining the forest grounds.

“Captain Levi! Should we go back for Oluo?” Petra yelps at your side, attention square on Levi.

“He’ll be fine!” Levi shouts in return. “Stick to the plan and get to the clearing.”

Except he’s not paying attention to what’s happening behind the horses.

No one is but you.

You see Oluo reappear, slashing at a titan eager to feed. And—

Shit.

Two on the left — seven and ten meters.

One on the right — just shy of nine meters.

Three more join the original abnormal as if they're drawn to the prospect of fresh meat, flanking Oluo’s efforts.

“He’s not alone!” you shout, letting go of the reigns of your horse. “He needs—”

You can’t think beyond the word help.

Before anyone can say anything, before Levi can give his next order, you curl your fingers into the mane of your horse’s neck for stability. Both feet swiftly unlatch themselves at your sides as you hop to a stance, perching you into a stance on the saddle.

Help the team.

Help Oluo.

Your boot shifts, planting firmly on the unstable leather beneath.

Eld is the first to notice you’ve risen. His eyes round with confusion, then instant recognition.

“James, wait—!”

The blond-haired man reaches behind him, leaning back on his horse, as if he can catch your attention — or your leg.

Anything to keep you from doing exactly it is you’re angling yourself to do against the Captain’s orders.

(Too late.)

In an instant your ODM gear ignites for the first time in the wild. You fly off the back of your horse and into the air, weightless in the whipping breeze. Each of your spears connect with the bark of tree trunks as momentum propels you into the sky.

Detach, reattach. Detach, reattach.

Everything is second nature.

You spin upside-down and swing back towards Oluo and the four titans. Metal clinks when the blades at your hips connect with their sheaths, and you extend the swords to your sides.

You’re not taking any chances.

“I’m coming, Oluo!” you shout, calling to your squad member.

Oluo yells incoherently, slicing the arm of the seven-meter titan clean off its limb. He manages to escape the jaws of another titan, the nine-meter, as it rams its head into him, chomping with abandon. An exhaust trail follows his narrow escape.

Zipping between branches, you hold your breath when the nape of the nine-meter titan’s neck comes into clear view.

Up until now, you have yet to strike one in the wild.

Cardboard training only goes so far.

Now or never.

You strike once, slicing across skin.

Blood sprays all over your white uniform and face.

The nine-meter titan stops dead in its tracks and tumbles straight to the forest floor. Its body shakes the very foundation of the trees surrounding you. The steam of its decaying corpse quickly fills the air.

Flying straight through the steam with your arms crossed over your chest, you use the momentum to reattach to a nearby tree trunk and swing around it, angling you in the direction of the seven-meter without its left arm.

“James?!” you hear the gasping shout of Oluo. “What the hell are you—”

“Keep distracting that one!” you shout back. “I got you covered, just give me an opening.”

You can do this.

Oluo continues flying in the same direction, creating a pocket opportunity for you to strike.

You raise your swords over your head, the blades steaming from evaporating titan blood.

Act.

Don’t think.

You shout, cutting into the right arm of the titan, leaving it armless. It howls, flailing a limbless torso as jaws chomp for any meal. Your gear latches onto a tree, whipping your body in a vertical semi-circle to return to the fight.

In a shout of frustration, you slice.

Its nape explodes with molten blood, ceasing all movement of the gargantuan.

“Holy shit, James!” Oluo shouts, perching himself against a tree trunk. His fingertips hold him in place, allowing him precious pause to catch his breath. “You really are back!”

The praise makes you feel good. In the moment, you feel closer to the person you lost — she was once so far away, but here?

You’re useful.

(You’re not holding the Scouts back. You are a Scout.)

You attach to a tree on the other side of the path, grinning through the dissolving blood. “Did you see anymore?”

Oluo curtly nods. “We still have two to take care of, but unfortunately I think I saw more running this way in the east.”

“Shit, really?”

“Yeah.”

You instinctively whip your attention to where Oluo points and steel your nerves.

More.

So it’s a feeding frenzy.

“Okay, then we worry about taking one each.”

“What about the Captain?”

“He’ll soon realize something’s up and come back, I’m sure of it!”

Except you’re not sure why you’re so confident he will. He told Petra to stick with the plan. He’ll return when he realizes Oluo hasn’t come back quickly.

(Or that you’re still out there.)

Guilt lines your gut, but you choose to ignore it.

“C’mon, before they make us their morning snack,” you say, pushing with both feet to propel you from the tree trunk.

You both zip through the trees, targeting the nine- and ten-meter titans searching the forest for the two of you. Everything feels like it’s entirely too fast yet completely in slow motion. It feels… like you’ve done this your entire life.

It’s just as natural as it is to throw a punch. To breathe.

Taking down titans doesn’t feel impossible.

You detach from a tree as you flip backwards, avoiding the jaws of the nine-meter titan in a swoop under its legs. It grabs at nothing, frenzied for the kill.

Oluo flies past you, climbing higher with each swing. You follow suit, flying up, up, up, until you abruptly attach to the nearest tree once more and fly straight past its ear.

Its brown eyes track your sudden movement into its peripheral, staring straight into you.

Oluo seizes the moment.

He slices the nape of its neck while it’s preoccupied. Its mouth opens wide instinctually, as if it hopes to capture its final meal, before tumbling forward.

Something at your hip tugs sharp, rocking your entire body.

The right grapple hook of your ODM gear is compromised by the falling titan’s wrist, latching onto the wire to break its fall before its demise.

Shit.

Abruptly the mechanism gives under the weight of the titan’s body weight, not quite yet weightless in death, causing the taut wire to strain.

The jerk of its movement takes the wind clear from your lungs.

The grapple hook wavers its grip on the tree trunk, creating the perform storm.

Everything around you happens in slow motion — the fluidity of Oluo’s body through the air, the sweeping limb of the slain titan, the glittering sunlight peeking just above the leaves.

You take a singular breath.

Your eyes widen.

The equipment snaps nine meters high off the forest floor.

Gravity catches up to your mortal mistake and soon the world feels that much smaller. You watch as your fingers flex higher to grab a nearby branch as if it’ll help, but it’s too late.

Flying backwards.

Weightless.

Your mouth is open and you should be screaming, but you can’t remember how.

Branches fly past your peripheral as you stare straight ahead at the light.

You want to move, but there’s no time.

You’re falling faster than you can fix your gear.

Then a silhouette eclipses the sun. The entity speeds straight towards you, the trail of gas following straight behind.

A voice shouts your name.

It’s guttural, echoing with desperation.

(Fear.)

“James!”

Levi Ackerman calls to you as he speeds through the trees at an otherworldly pace. His arms press expertly to his sides to fall faster, his emerald coat billowing behind in an angelic halo. As he nears, you can make out the whites of his widened eyes.

Instinctively, your hand reaches for him—

A certain sort of deja vu—

Then it hits.

Why did you do it?

Do what?

You gave me a second chance.

Because where you go, I follow.

author's note: i apologize for leaving you all on a cliffhanger as i run off on my holiday, but the next time we meet... i think we're ready to finally go back in time, don't you?

tag list: @lazylizzy3 @notgoodforlife @sad-darksoul @dailydoseof-love @maliakealoha @nube55 @kateastrophies @blinkingsuns @gomigami @voidszoro @tanyeonn

#snk #levi ackerman #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #aot fanfiction #aot spoilers #aot fanfic

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thesoftestirises · 2 years

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playing with fire ii

♡ pairing : aemond x reader ♡ rating : 18+ ♡ word count : 2.4k ♡ warnings: violence, talks of d wording and k wording, stockholm syndrome, threatening the people you love, forced marriage, dubcon (how can someone really consent in an environment like this?) ♡ summary : To most of Westeros, you are the dangerous leader of an antimonarchist rebellion. To Prince Aemond, you are both the bane of his existence and the object of all his desires. ♡ an : sorry for the wait! i’ve been super busy with life and work lately. but the comments on this fic really kicked my ass into gear so i wrote this for you guys <3 i’m hoping to establish a regular cadence with these chapters. anyways, thanks for reading

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Perhaps when you were much younger, you would have dreamed of a wedding like this.

Of a ceremony housed in a grand castle hall, decorated with bouquets of gladioluses as blue as the ocean. Of a reception with finely dressed servants handing out slices of white cake made of the finest imported sugar in the world. Of being a vision laced into a pretty blush pink gown with hand embroidered flowers along the hem.

A wedding fit for a princess.

You picked at a loose thread on the ostentatious lace tablecloth in front of you, avoiding eye contact with all the lords and ladies who had come to congratulate you on your marriage. There was no reason to feign pleasantries with them. You knew what they were thinking, it was evident in their tone when they addressed you.

They saw you as an ungrateful, sullen peasant girl who did not realize her fortune in marrying so dizzyingly high above her station. Were you not complaining about being poor? Was that not the root cause behind you kicking up a fuss with the smallfolk? Encouraging them not to pay taxes and telling young men to feign illness to avoid being drafted into their wars?

Prince Aemond should have had your head for your treason. But his highness was kind and merciful, and decided to take your maidenhead instead. You should be thankful. You would live in a fine castle, wear the most elegant of fashions, and never have to want for anything. Was that not what peasants dreamed of? Well, here it was. Presented undeservingly.

These high borns didn’t understand you. They didn’t want to. You were a political forest fire, dangerous and meant to be doused as soon as possible. They wanted to believe that elevating your station would placate you. They could not be more wrong, but you were hardly concerned with their opinions.

Your gaze shifted to the darkest corner of the hall and locked onto the table banished farthest from your place of honor at the front.

The smallfolk stood out almost painfully in the sea of polished nobility. Unlike the genteel mannered lords and ladies around them, they scarfed down all the food at their table and stuffed their pockets with as many leftovers as they could fit, ignoring the disgusted looks they were receiving. Their hair was ungroomed and their clothing soiled. They were, predictably, wholly unprepared to comport themselves in a manner befitting such a formal occasion. In most instances, smallfolk wouldn’t have even been given the pleasure of breathing near the guest list of a royal wedding reception.

But Prince Aemond had decided to break from tradition and make an exception. In his graciousness and generosity, he pardoned all the prisoners who had been arrested for rioting in exchange for their attendance at your wedding.

In between bites of their food, they would glance up at you. Their eyes would take in the sparkling sapphires in your hair, the handcrafted dress you wore, and the prince sitting beside you.

They would see that you had become one of them.

You could see the words on their lips as they whispered to each other. Was this what you had wanted all along? Power? Wealth? Was this what they had risked their lives for? It seemed that you were just the same as the highborns without the breeding to show for it.

There was no way the smallfolk would ever trust you again, not after they watched you marry the second prince without a word of protest during the ceremony. They didn’t know Aemond had threatened to take his damnable beast to the skies and raze the village you were born in to ashes if you didn’t cooperate in front of the septa. They only knew what they had seen, and they believed they had bared witness to the prince laying his lips on yours in the Great Sept of Baelor. They did not see Aemond smirking at you and carefully angling his head to obscure the congregation’s view of your faces when you were prompted to kiss him. They had no idea this whole wedding was a farce designed to discredit you and bind you to a man who saw you as little more than a toy.

You hated to admit it, but Aemond had been tactical and clever in destroying not only your legitimacy, but the legitimacy of your entire movement. To any onlooker, it appeared you abandoned your calls to end the monarchy to join it instead. Whoever attempted to reestablish your movement would face intense scrutiny of doing the same. It would take years, if not decades, to find a leader who could rebuild the momentum.

“You’re making our wedding look like a funeral procession, dear wife.”

You turned your head to Aemond. Your husband now, you supposed. The corners of his lips were pulled upwards in that horrible, self satisfied smirk he always seemed to wear around you.

You sighed, swirling the glass of wine in front of you, but not taking a sip. You were consciously objecting to eating anything at this sham ceremony. “It is a funeral. I am mourning the loss of my autonomy.”

Aemond huffed out a little laugh and shook his head. “Do you ever tire of playing the victim?”

“Do you ever tire of playing the tyrant?” You shot back.

“No,” Aemond said before placing his arm around the back of your chair and leaning in to whisper into your ear. “But if it would please you, I could certainly try my hand at playing the knight in shining armor again. I do remember how you moaned for me then.”

A rush of heat spread across your face as your mouth parted in shock. “I do not recall an event in which I ever moaned for you. You are mistaken.”

“Am I? Do you want to reenact our first meeting and see if it stirs up any old memories that may be lurking about?”

“N-no!”

“Pity. Next time then,” he said, removing his arm.

You waited a few moments before breaking the silence again. “So? What now?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Aemond asked as he busied himself with slicing into the steak on the plate in front of him.

“You’ve won, you’ve delegitimized me. What are your plans now? We are wed inextricably.”

“I already said,” he replied in a casual tone, not bothering to look at you. “I will have you.”

“And I have already said that I would rather pull my toenails out individually. So I ask again, what are your plans?”

“I am the second prince, my dear princess. I have no other plans.”

“Truly? You have no ambitions aside from bedding me?” You asked, raising a brow.

Aemond turned to you, his pale blue eye searching your face before finally landing on your lips. “None that are more worthy.”

“What about the City Watch that you lead? Do you not have an interest in reducing crime? Or education? You studied philosophy, do you not think the children of the smallfolk would benefit from the same? Or perhaps you could help the struggling farmers in the lower villages? The last harvest was difficult and meager. They are barely able to feed themselves, and yet the nobles of King’s Landing throw lavish parties every day. Surely there is something you could spare from the stores?”

Aemond pressed his lips together in a failed effort to hide his amusement. “Are you attempting to radicalize your husband, little fox?”

“I’m attempting to suggest that you use your power to help your people,” you said, your voice laced with annoyance.

“I have no interest in helping them. I am not their king.”

“Does one have to be king in order to want to help others? What of love? Are they not just as human as you?”

Aemond pursed his lips and nodded. He took a butter knife from the table into his hands and flipped it once, the hilt of the blade rolling neatly around his fingers before landing in his palm. “I see my apathy deeply concerns you, but I have no desire to play political games that do not benefit me. Anything I do, any positive impact I make, will all be attributed to my drunken brother who is barely lucid on his best day. I will not begrudge my duties, but I will not be made to do his. That is Aegon’s responsibility.”

“I see,” you said quietly. “You wanted to be king.”

Aemond shot you a sharp look. “Careful, little fox. You’re treading very dangerous territory. I advise you to turn back now.”

You briefly pondered asking him if there was a part of him that wished for his brother’s demise. If he had ever contemplated being the cause. But you knew that line of questioning was essentially treason, and you were not keen to be executed over curiosity. Not now when all the work you had done to help the smallfolk was unraveled. You refused to meet the gods without making some kind of improvement in lives of your fellow people.

But you had no power in this place. You may be addressed as a princess, but everyone knew you were a lowborn seditionist. Even if you were not, your only role in this society is to bear children and be something pretty for your husband to look at. Highborn women were not meant to have political ambitions.

You paused and considered Aemond. “What if we made an exchange?”

“What kind of an exchange?” He asked, his tone bored as he fiddled with the napkin on his lap.

You took a deep breath and dropped your gaze to his hands. His long, elegant fingers that were laced with silvery scars and calluses from years of training with the sword. The slightly red fingertips that you knew to be ice cold.

“My body for your cooperation.”

Aemond barked out an amused laugh, drawing stares from the lords who sat closest to you. “You’d whore yourself out to me for the smallfolk to be given table scraps?”

You closed your eyes for a second before nodding resolutely. “Yes, I would.”

Aemond’s gaze darkened as he looked at you. “How far would you go?”

“I’d do anything you wanted.”

“If I wanted you to wrap your pretty lips around my cock?”

“I’d do it.”

“If I wanted to fondle your breasts and smear your nipples with my seed?”

“I’d let you.”

“If I wanted to fuck you on this table for everyone to see?” He asked, gesturing to the hall around him.

There had to have been at least five hundred people in attendance. Five hundred pairs of eyes to witness humiliation worse than what you’d already been through at the hands of Aemond earlier today. At least four score of those eyes belonged to people who had been arrested for acting on your orders. And yet.

“I’d submit to it.”

Aemond tilted his head, his gaze penetrating yours in a way that made you feel as if he was reading your mind. He reached a palm out to you and cupped your jaw. He stroked his thumb over your cheekbone, his cool fingertips grazing over your skin. You shivered at the touch, but did not move.

“Interesting,” he said, before removing his hand and returning his attention to his plate. “But I cannot accept your offer.”

“What?” You asked after a beat, knitting your brows together. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“No. I want you to give yourself to me willingly, not begrudgingly.”

“I don’t understand.”

Aemond pressed his lips together in an imitation of a smile and shook his head. “You are offering to part your legs for me while laying back and thinking of Westeros. What I want from you is different.”

He moved his hand from the table to rest on your knee, drawing a gasp from your lips. You looked at him sharply as he ran his fingertips over your clothed leg, dipping between the folds of fabric and brushing along your sensitive inner thighs. An unfamiliar, pleasant heat began to brew in the pit of your stomach as a response to his touch. You shifted in your seat and looked down, watching Aemond’s deft fingers slide closer to your heat.

“I want you to seek out my kiss. To fantasize about my touch. For your cunt to drip at the mere thought of me,” he said, leaning in close enough for you to taste his mint flavored breath on your tongue. “I want you to surrender to me out of desire, not obligation.”

Your eyes skimmed over his face, the sharpness of his prominent nose, the curl on his cupid’s bow shaped mouth. “Why? Most other lords don’t mind fucking reluctant wives.”

“I am not like them. And neither are you,” he said, leaning back. “You will either give yourself to me willingly or not at all.”

You sighed, relaxing your posture as he retreated from your space. “I fear we will both die virgins at this rate.”

Aemond chuckled, reaching for his glass of wine. “You will, not I.”

You rolled your eyes and looked away. “Of course.”

“I was actually quite surprised to hear from the Maesters that you are still in tact. Pleased, of course, but surprised nonetheless.”

“As you are probably aware, I did not have time for romantic entanglements.”

He hummed quietly and mused. “Even now, your priority is your cause.”

“My priority is the people,” you said unflinchingly. “They deserve to live full and free lives without fear or intimidation.”

“And you believe this would be achieved by abolishing the monarchy?” He asked as raised his brows.

“Yes,” you answered. “I do not believe the people can be free when they have to live at the whim of a ruling class born to the position. They could be thrown into war at a moment’s notice, lose the rights to their land, or be forced into bed by threat of death.”

Aemond tilted his head down and considered your argument for a moment before speaking again. “Say you did manage to abolish the monarchy. What do you suppose would happen without a leader? Without a king who could command a dragon? There would be chaos. Foreign invasions. People would suffer more than they do now.”

“We are not under any threat of foreign invasion,” you argued. “The Free Cities are in no position to start a war. The Triarchy’s coffers are completely empty from funding the fighting in the Stepstones. Dorne has been significantly weakened by repeated attempts at invasion over the last century. Any other enemy would have a wide expanse of ocean to contend with. It is true that there would be a transitionary period in which there would be no formal leader, but I do not believe it would be as chaotic as you are imagining.”

Aemond smiled and shook his head. “You are an idealist if you truly believe that.”

“There are worse things to be.”

“Few that are as deadly.”

A laugh slipped out from your lips before you could think to stop it. When you remembered what, or rather who, you were smiling at, the amusement dropped swiftly. But the damage was done, and Aemond was examining you with an unreadable gaze. You straightened up in your seat and busied yourself with smoothing out your dress and pointedly avoiding meeting his eye.

After a moment, Aemond spoke again.

“I will see what I can do about the table scraps.”

He then stood from his seat, paid his respects to his brother and sister, and swept away from the hall without so much as looking at you.

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#aemond x reader #aemond targaryen #hotd #house of the dragon #aemond smut #aemond targaryen smut #ewan mitchell #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen imagines #aemond #aemond imagines #aemond imagine #playing with fire

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shion-yu · 3 months

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A Safe Place (part 1) [Day 28]

Cliff shows up at Elliot's doorstep in the middle of the night soaked to the bone. A Cliff/Elliot sickfic heavy on the angst, also ft. Theo. For @monthofsick Day 28: Chaotic body temperature. I know, not me joining in on a writing challenge right at the end but it fit so well. 3,065 words, original work, TWs for homophobia, emeto (neither strong warnings, but the sick will get much sicker in p2).

It had been a long summer. Cliff had spent it working at Theo's law firm again, except this time he wasn't an unpaid intern but a legal secretary. It was a temporary job that they had offered him when his summer break had aligned perfectly with one of the secretary's maternity leaves and Cliff had jumped at the chance to work in such a great environment again. He was happy to see many familiar faces from last year, and to his surprise they were happy to see him too. Although he was mainly working with one of the other partners this time - not Theo - he saw the lawyer nearly every day and was relieved to learn both Theo and his partner, Al, were in good health. Al had gotten a double lung transplant that last Fall, Theo told Cliff. He and his new lungs were doing great.

"What about you?" Theo asked Cliff eagerly. "How did your first year at NYU go?"

Cliff smiled, automatically thinking of Elliot. "It was great," he said. "My classes were interesting but not too hard."

"You look happier," Theo said, surprising Cliff with how true the observation was. "Did something cause that?"

"Yeah," Cliff said thoughtfully. "Someone did."

Being apart from Elliot that summer was difficult. He missed hugging and kissing Elliot every single day. He wanted to talk to him on the phone for hours and hours just to hear his voice and fall asleep with his fingers in Elliot’s curls. But when he was living at home, Cliff knew he had to be the perfect, straight laced child he'd been raised as. In other words, he couldn't be himself. He wore business attire to work every day, but the soft sweaters and cute hair clips he'd amassed over the past year stayed packed away in his college stuff for next semester. He didn't think his parents would appreciate those particular fashion choices he'd been making.

It's not like his parents made it hard to hide things. They hardly ever asked questions, and if they did it was about grades or tuition. Cliff knew he was incredibly lucky that his parents paid his entire tuition, room and board as if it were a given. Elliot's parents weren't able to help much financially, meaning his boyfriend had to take out loans and work part time while in school. This summer he was working nonstop in his dad's auto mechanic shop, saving up money. Often when Cliff video called Elliot these days he was covered in sweat, streaks of black motor oil on his face. It seemed wrong to complain about his parents when it was thanks to them that he was only working this summer because he wanted to, not because he had to. And yet, silently, Cliff thought maybe he'd be happier if he was in Elliot's shoes - without much money but with a place he could really call home. It was a selfish, privileged thought and Cliff refused to voice it, but it creeped in each time he heard Elliot's mom call in the background, "Boys, wash up, it's time for dinner!"

Working was a blessing to Cliff, because if he'd been at home he would've been in that big, lonely house all by himself most of the summer. Being at the law firm was not only a distraction, but comfortable. Despite wearing a suit, Cliff actually felt less tense there than at his parents' house. He stayed long hours, longer than he needed to, because he preferred the sound of printers and fax machines over his parents screaming at each other downstairs. When he was in high school it seemed easier to ignore. Maybe it was because he'd had a break for so many months that returning to it seemed worse than before. Or maybe it was because Elliot never screamed at him like that, and Cliff had started to realize that this wasn't how things had to be.

Around the beginning of August, Cliff caught a cold that didn't seem to go away. At first it was just the sniffles, and then it was a cough that grew progressively deeper with each week that passed. The other employees started asking him if he was alright, and embarrassingly Theo caught him staring blankly at the water fountain one day for far too long. Cliff was so out of it that he didn't even notice Theo calling his name until the older man waved his hand in Cliff's face.

"Oh," Cliff said, rubbing his eyes to try and make his blurry vision clear up. "Sorry, I was just... Daydreaming."

"You look pale," Theo said, and before Cliff could step back Theo had placed a hand on Cliff's forehead while ignoring Cliff's protest that he was fine. "Hmm, you feel a little feverish. Why don't you go home, kid?"

"I'm really fine," Cliff said, wildly embarrassed. "It's just a cold."

Theo looked him up and down, clearly assessing how pushy he should be. "At least go take a nap on the couch in my office, you look exhausted."

Usually, Cliff would say no immediately. He wouldn't even consider showing weakness at the place he was supposed to be making a vitally good impression at for his career. But he felt weak and a little dizzy and found himself saying in a small voice, "...If you're sure."

Theo was sure. He brought Cliff to his office and shut the blinds so there wasn't much light coming through the many glass windows. He even tossed a blanket to the eighteen-year-old. "I sleep here all the time," he reassured Cliff. "You can't work if you're too tired to think. Don't worry about it."

Cliff felt guilty for taking over Theo's office, but Theo headed out for a two hour meeting and Cliff was left alone on the couch. He had half a mind to leave and get back to work at his desk now that there was no one stopping him, but just sitting there made him realize how fatigued his whole body felt. A little nap wouldn't hurt, he reasoned. A really short one. He lay down and fell asleep so quickly that he didn't even remember closing his eyes.

He woke up to Theo gently rubbing his shoulder. Cliff was confused, then his eyes widened in embarrassment and he sat up. Shit, had it been two hours already? Wait, that clock didn't say 5pm did it? - surely he hadn't slept for four hours?!

"Woah, it's okay Cliff," Theo said quickly, "You seemed really tired so I let you sleep. You should go home now, everybody's leaving for the day."

"I'm so sorry," Cliff gushed, face bright red. "I didn't mean to sleep so long. You don't have to pay me for today - please don't, actually."

"Settle down, it's really fine," Theo said in a calm voice that made Cliff remember to take a deep breath like Elliot had taught him to calm down. "We all have off days. You don't feel so warm now, so that's good. Stay home tomorrow though."

"That's totally not necessary," Cliff said, his confident tone supplemented by a very unconvincing round of dry coughs. He waved off the tissues Elliot tried to hand him. "Really, I'm fine. I've just been having some asthma since I got sick last winter, but my boy-" Cliff stopped himself, realizing he was about to out himself. "My, um, my roommate got me an inhaler so I just have to use it that's all."

"Your boyfriend," Elliot supplied gently. "It's okay to say it, Cliff. You know I have Al."

Cliff wanted to deny the comment outright. He wanted to laugh and say Elliot really was just a friend. But Theo had such an earnest expression, and he was the only successful adult man Cliff knew of who was gay. "I know, but, it's really not, not for me," Cliff found himself saying, voice wavering. "I-I have to go. Sorry I slept in your office so long," he said as he hurried out, ignoring Theo's all too kind voice calling after him. Cliff knew in a certain world that it was okay, but it wasn't his world. Not the world where he still relied on his parents.

Despite saying he'd be back the next day, Cliff did stay home that Friday. His fever was worse and he had chills that left him huddled under the covers. His mom didn't notice he didn't leave the house and he didn't tell her. She didn't need to know, just like she didn't need to know about Elliot. She had never supported Cliff in anything at all, so why... Why did Cliff feel such a strong urge to tell her?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On the last day of Cliff's work at the law firm, Theo told Cliff if he ever needed a reference, he'd get a glowing one from him. And if he ever needed to talk about anything, anything at all, Cliff could call him too. Cliff knew what he was getting at, and he didn't want to face it. But Theo was such a calm person that it was disarming, and Cliff asked without meaning to, "Is it worth it?"

Theo nodded. He knew what Cliff meant without specification. "Yes, it's worth it," Theo said. "Even if there's nay-sayers and you lose people, you gain much more. It's always worth it to be exactly who you are, Cliff."

Cliff went back to his parents house with those words echoing in his brain. Theo, a successful and respected lawyer, said it was worth it. He had a career and a person who loved him by his side. Was that something Cliff could have, too? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be honest, just once?

"Mom," Cliff said over dinner, pushing his phone over to her with a picture of him and Elliot together on the screen. "I want to tell you something. This is my-"

"Don't do this to me Cliff," his mother interrupted before he could finish. "You've already caused enough trouble. He's not - just because you have a thing with another guy doesn't mean anything."

"It's not a thing mom. I love him," Cliff found himself saying angrily. And oh, why did he say that? The first time he finally said he loved Elliot and it was directed at his mom in spite. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Cliff, you don't love him. You're too old to be playing this game. Now I'll forget we had this conversation. And don't tell your father."

Cliff saw red. He'd never been so angry in his life. He snatched his phone back and grabbed his wallet on the shelf by the door and went outside. She didn't follow him.

It was pouring rain. Cliff shivered, wishing he'd had the forethought to grab a coat too, but he wasn't going to ruin his dramatic exit by going back inside. Of course his mother hadn't approved. Cliff hadn't expected her to. But he'd expected her to get angry - not to dismiss him all together like he was just a kid with a big imagination. Cliff knew then that she would never really think of him as his own person, and he couldn't do anything to change that. It broke his heart.

Cliff walked for a very long time. He didn't quite know where he was going, only that he wanted to get as far away from that house as possible. He found himself at a park by the water where he beat up a couple of tree trunks that definitely won based on his bleeding knuckles afterwards. The rain didn't let up, and Cliff found himself getting progressively colder. His cough from earlier that month had never gone away and his breath began to catch on what felt like a dry patch in his throat. Cliff realized then that he'd left his inhaler at the house, too. The coughing grew more desperate until he pitched forward and vomited onto the grass he was standing on. He groaned and leaned against the nearest tree he could find, the contents of his stomach mixing with rushing rain water and swept away quickly. He continued to gag for several minutes until the coughing abated ever so slightly. He felt weak and pathetic. And also very, very alone.

He needed to get somewhere dry. Somewhere warm and safe. Cliff only had one place like that in mind. He boarded train after train, shivering in the corner like a wet dog as he made his way all the way to Long Island. He knew Elliot's address because he'd been sending Elliot mail all summer, little love notes and presents that made Cliff think of him. He never included a return address though, because he hadn't wanted his parents to see. Thankfully his phone had enough battery to direct him to Elliot's doorstep despite the wet four hour commute, and he found himself at the front door of a modest suburban home at 3:30 in the morning.

The journey had felt like a daze. Cliff had never done something so erratic, so unplanned. He raised his hand to knock before remembering what time it was, and Elliot had parents and sister who probably wouldn't appreciate him knocking. He called Elliot instead, his phone barely hanging on at 5%. He thought to himself that it seemed unlikely that Elliot would answer at this time of night. But after several rings, by which time Cliff had resigned himself to waiting for dawn under a tree, a very sleepy voice picked up.

"Cliff?"

"Elliot? Sorry to bother you," Cliff said, as if this entire situation weren't incredibly bizarre. "But I'm at your door."

There was a long pause, presumably while Elliot tried to figure out exactly what Cliff meant by 'at your door'. "Like right now? Now?"

"Yeah," Cliff said. "Do you think I could sleep over?"

"I'm coming down," Elliot said, and there was the rustling of sheets and then the thump of footsteps as Elliot ran downstairs. The front door opened and Elliot hung up. Cliff looked at him and thought he was the most beautiful person in the entire world. "Holy crap, you're really here," Elliot breathed. "God Cliff, what happened? No, come in first, you're soaked..."

Elliot pulled Cliff inside and helped Cliff take off his soaked trainers. There were traces of vomit on the front of his shirt and his fingers were still bloody. Elliot brought him to the bathroom, motioning for Cliff to stay quiet with one finger to his lips. He grabbed a towel from under the sink and wrapped it around the shorter boy, who was shivering violently from the marked change in temperature. In the bright light of the kitchen, suddenly his journey seemed a lot less valiant and a lot more stupid. "Sit," Elliot said, sitting Cliff on the toilet. "You're freezing... Can you take your temperature?”

Elliot handed Cliff a thermometer, which Cliff obediently used. After a few seconds it beeped and read ‘96.9.’ Elliot frowned. “Hot shower, okay?" Despite being woken up in the middle of the night, Elliot seemed fully alert. Cliff nodded and peeled off his wet and dirty clothes. He coughed roughly as he did so, a slight wheeze audible on the end of the exhale. Elliot patted his back with a concerned expression. "Do you have your inhaler?" Cliff shook his head no. Elliot grimaced and ran the hot water for Cliff. "You warm up. I'm gonna find you some clothes and I think there's an old inhaler somewhere in the medicine cabinet..."

Elliot moved to leave, but Cliff grabbed his arm before he could go. "Don't wake your family up," Cliff said hoarsely. "I'm okay."

Elliot looked at Cliff in concern and sighed. "Cliff, you just showed up soaking wet in the middle of the night. You live all the way in Newark. I'm gonna be a little concerned. But right now you need to warm up. We can talk later."

"Okay," Cliff said. He took the hottest shower of his life then, and it felt glorious. After a few minutes he started to feel dizzy though and sat on the floor of the tub. Elliot came back and peeked around the curtain, frowning when he saw Cliff sitting there.

"Are you awake?" Elliot asked worriedly.

"Hmm," Cliff hummed in confirmation. "Just feels nice, and I got sleepy."

"Finish up in there," Elliot said. "I've got sweats and a hot water bottle and bed waiting for you."

Cliff obediently finished showering and sat on the edge of the tub as Elliot dried him off thoroughly with two big, fluffy towels. Cliff closed his eyes and remembered how many times he'd imagined being together again over the summer. "I missed you so much," Cliff said, resting his face on Elliot's abdomen.

Elliot stilled and crouched in front of Cliff. "I missed you too," he said softly. "Now arms up." Elliot helped Cliff get into the warmest sweats that he owned and then led Cliff upstairs to his bedroom. The house was quiet, and Cliff hoped that meant he hadn't disturbed anyone else's sleep. He glanced around curiously at Elliot's childhood bedroom, which was decorated in a way that seemed so very Elliot. He smiled at the teddy bear sitting on the dresser that Cliff had bought Elliot at the baseball game they'd been to. It brought back good memories, nothing like the ones that had been swirling around in Cliff's head for the past several rainy hours.

"Bed," Elliot whispered, tucking Cliff under the duvet and several extra blankets. Cliff was still shivering, but less so now. His temperature had blown from low numbers to high and he gazed at Elliot with glassy, feverish eyes. Elliot handed Cliff a very expired albuterol inhaler, which Cliff took a few puffs of. Despite the date stamped on the canister, it still eased the tightness in Cliff's chest a little. Elliot then climbed in next to him and wrapped his arms around Cliff. The feeling and smell of being enveloped by Elliot after all this time brought Cliff to tears and he hid his face.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know I should have called.”

"It’s okay,” Elliot said. “Sleep, Cliff. We can talk tomorrow.” Knowing he was finally in the only place he truly felt safe, Cliff slept.

[Cont. part 2]

#shionwrites #novemetober rescheduled #whump #sickfic #sicknario #tw: emeto #tw: homophobia #prompt: chaotic body temperature #novemetober 2023 #oc: cliff #oc: theo #oc: elliot #fever whump #hurt/comfort #angst #hypothermia #pneumonia

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mushroomnoodles · 6 months

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I really love Vampires and Tarots as an aesthetic and Simon and Betty as the lover fit that so well. I have a few questions about this AU.

How did the lovers find out about Morri? Did they fear Simon was intolerant of blood or something else?

Did the Vampire King find out about Simon and his powerful wife? (I'd imagine the Vampire King would be interested the possibility of a Vampire reproducing natural instead of a bite. And the side bonus of a power Vampire like Betty must sound appealing. )

Since Simon and Betty didn't separate and Simon didn't find the crown, did they meet Marceline or is this a the Star situation?

Finally how did Simon have the baby, is this a golbaby situation or something else?

Thanks! Your posts are just the best!

ok, buckle the fuckle up because this is a long ass post! i'm slapping a cut on it so you don't have to scroll forever but the general cws still apply- cw/tw for sfw, non kink mpreg and once again, two entire drops of blood.

i'd like to start out with saying THE HANGED MAN/vamp simon definitely had the roughest pregnancy of my au simons.. even compared to "vanilla" simon carrying golbetty's child.

nothing super serious, of course, but.. it didn't help that vamp simon is also physically weaker than other vampires. simon's undead body was not exactly equipped to GROW a life. at first, he couldn't stomach anything- everything he drank came right back up, which weakened him severely. his nausea was BAAAD.

for the first few months of pregnancy the only thing he could keep down was grade A human blood. this is how they found out simon was pregnant in the first place- the lack of blood was making him ill, and simon couldn't even do his regular duties, he spent so much time sick. vampires don't get sick. betty was seeing a repeat of something that happened a long time before.. and took him in to see someone with the power of intuition to tell them what ailed him- TEMPERANCE.

simon had finally been able to keep some blood down, so he wasn't so exhausted when they did visit her.

...they were very confused, but betty was overjoyed! simon was too, but ever the thinker, he wanted to know HOW. the same question the vampire king and the rest of the inner circle had, too. they kept simon's pregnancy a secret from most- with the day a weakness for them, the threat of vampire hunters, and the possibility of a new way to reproduce, the vampire king wanted to keep this exciting news secret until they could figure out the details.

simon, not wanting to be poked and prodded like an exhibit, graciously offered to research the phenomenon himself.

yeah. he has no idea.

the whole inner circle waited to see what kind of child simon would give birth to, given his and betty's powers. would their child inherit those abilities from them, or have something new? what did a living vampire entail?

simon was honestly glad he wasn't being paraded around for public eye, because pretty much every pregnancy symptom hit simon like a truck, even mood swings and cravings. and he was THIRSTY. so thirsty. little miracle needed a lot of nourishment and simon even began to crave actual food- which betty went out of her way to procure for him. (morrigan was alive after all!)

seeing simon so sensitive to his environment and working so hard to find an answer to something she felt he didn't have to worry about sort of set her wife/mother instincts into overdrive.. betty was suuper fucking protective of simon and was not afraid to snap at people or refuse circle visitors for him.

plus, morrigan was very strong and very big, and theyd leave little bruises on simon's belly sometimes. and, naturally, vampire morrigan took longer than nine months to be ready- simon carried them for more like 18 months. but they arrived safely, soundly, and surprisingly quietly, despite simon's undead body struggling for two days to bring them into the world. THE CHARIOT was actually eventually born via caesarean, because they were just.. taking way too long. they weren't ill, just sleepy.

granted, everyone was pretty fucking sleepy at that point.

and to answer the marceline question, yes, simon and betty found marceline as a child! marceline took to being nocturnal like a champ.

they had her for only a few months before they were approached by the vampire king, who had been watching them for a long time- before they even picked up marcy.

he'd seen them use their powers and their wits to stay alive in the apocalyptic wasteland- and later raise a child. he wanted them to join his group of vampires, and offered them marceline's safety in return.

simon and betty said yes, knowing they wouldn't be able to face off against a whole legion of vampires- and certainly not the king, if he decided a no was to be his enemy. and the rest is history.

ahh, i think i got everything?

#i have a mproblem #a #cw mpreg #tw mpreg #simon petrikov mpreg #mpreg #vampbetty #vampsimon #vamparents #cw blood #tw blood

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baileythebean · 21 hours

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to mod, Hey tthere silly dudeszz... i need the info so How do Bailey fight? LIKE I NEED YOU TO INFODUMP ME ON HOW THEY FIGHT [Copypasting this to the others inbox lmao]

OMG THANK YOU FOR ASKING THISSSSS So Bailey has multiple different fighting styles just because of all the different places he’s lived. He was rarely at the AA headquarters, usually out on some mission, and then there’s the stuff he learned before he was auctioned. He usually prefers to have some sort of weapon, so hand-to-hand combat is usually not his go-to. He does pack quite a blow though, because his muscles would’ve been strengthened by the weight of holding his heavier weapons (rifles, katanas, ETC) over long periods of time. (Plus training) His preferred weapon is a pistol, really any kind, but the one he carries on his waist has a grip made to fit his hands specifically and he likes that. The other two in his backpack are just in case. He’s good at aiming, even at moving targets, plus it’s small, fast to load, and easy to carry. (Light) He’s good at sniping (with or without rifles) and even mid-range, but the close range gun/hand-to-hand you see in movies? The one where they’re like, rolling on the floor tryna shoot each other and tackle each other? Yeah he sucks at that. It’d probably never happen anyway, but if it did, he’d probably opt to something like biting his opponent. Growing up in a heavily cultural environment, Bailey was taught the basics of both Aikido and Kenjutsu before he left. This is why he likes looking at cool katanas and making up his own moves because he was never taught anything beyond basic, so he’s not really that skilled in these areas. Doesn’t really use this method, but his old friend Cameron taught him how to make explosives from household materials and scraps of metal/trash. He uses pocket knives/switchblades usually to sharpen sticks/prepare food/cut random stuff when needed. Not usually a weapon, but if he has to… And a kitchen knife is a pretty good standard weapon too, if he needs it. Because of his aiming, he could probably do well with a bow, but where would he keep it? He thinks it’s kinda impractical when he can have the small, easy and transportable gun instead. His actual fighting STYLE is very much ‘see the situation then make a decision whether to fight or not’ unless that person is hurting his friends. In that case, they better come up with their last words soon. He’s pretty fluid in his movements, given his flexibility and strength and he keeps that up with a little practice every morning (which Pebble complains abt bc he has to leave bed ((whatever bed means, it could be a random alley or Jasper’s shelter. It depends.))) Sharp movements are not his go-to bc pulling muscles, ouch :( and he HATES stretching. (He’ll still do it tho) He usually does a lot of flippy evasion stuff in hand-to-hand (ducking, rolling under, dodging, flipping, ETC) so usually he hopes a few hard hits from him are enough to knock the other out. He spends the rest of the time evading blows. Well that’s everything I can think of… lmk if you wanna know anything more specific or anything else! Asks are still wiiide open :D -mod

#ramshackle #ramshackle bailey #ramshackle au #ramshackle oc #oc rp #oc #bailey interaction #Bailey’s fighting style yippee

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actualbird · 11 months

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do you think once giann returns/is saved he would take over as the pax ceo or he would ask marius to keep running it? bc i get the vibe that under any other circumstance he would not want marius to endure that stress and he knows how much he dislikes it (i mean marius literally does everything in giann’s name and says he wants out once giann is back!). But I can also see that mhy would throw that whole thing at us where giann is like “bro… you’ve run it so well. better than i ever could… you should continue as the ceo…”. obviously we Don’t Know what will happen in canon so in terms of your personal headcanon, what do you think?

oh my gosh anon, the “bro… you’ve run it so well. better than i ever could… you should continue as the ceo…” is something i never thought about and hATE SO MUCH NOW THAT U MENTIONED IT AJHFVJKDS I NOW HAVE ONE FEAR!!! hyv for the love of god do NOT go that route. i'd rather hyv just kill giann instead of that.......KIDDING

but oh gosh i really hate that scenario because my personal headcanon and ideal hope for if giann ever returns is that he takes up CEO mantle again, i agree with you!

though my personal hc differs though in the sense that....i also think giann kinda liked his job before he went missing. he didnt like how itd take too much time away from time he couldve spent with marius, he didnt like the very slimy environment of corporate backstabbing, but he liked heading Pax. he liked making it better than it already was.

i think this because:

1) i just think its neat!

2) austin has noted that giann is different from himself and from marius (said in a scene in marius' sweet chapter 4). he and marius tend to be more closed off, keep more of their cards close to their chest, are less trusting. meanwhile, giann was described by him as somebody more emotional and even naive.

and yet in spite of that, canon has showed us giann did a tremendous job heading Pax during his run and was wildly praised by the public for his leadership. so he was different. but different worked. he was dang good at whatever he was doing. i think giann's Difference in how he operates in the business world is a fitting change to the cycle of wariness and endless distrust that made austin and then marius The Way They Are because of the business world, itd mean a more open and transparent future for Pax

....and also because giann would wanna relieve marius of the role that hes been carrying for years

like i know that in a sense, giann taking pax back isnt as ~subversive~ as marius continuing to head it. but idk.....from what i know of giann—both his immense love and protectiveness over marius and his own objective success at being CEO—i would quite dislike it for him to go “bro… you’ve run it so well. better than i ever could… you should continue as the ceo…”

i see him more going like.... "bro....youve run it so well and im so proud of you. you ran it better than i ever could, and thats given me one hell of a standard to live up to. but you can rest now. thank you for helping me. now, it's my turn to help you."

and then marius goes for a phd in art history and becomes an art professor able to pursue his passions and teach it to likeminded individuals while also still moonlighting as "Z" because wouldnt that be such a fun secret identity for an art professor to have HAHA. THATS WHAT MY HEART WANTS!!!!

so yea thats my personal headcanon for this!

#art prof marius has been my ideal post-canon scenario for him for forever so seeing the little teaching scene in the bday event was SO GOOD #asks #anon #tears of themis #giann von hagen #marius von hagen

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yourhoeshorses · 7 months

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A ref sheet for Joey and their soul horse Summerqueen

Self insert oc go brrr

Also I really cannot wait for the name change update. I don't mind their name being Joey, it just doesn't fit them imo, but it's the closest alternative I could think of from "Jennifer"

HURRAY!!! You pushed a button, here's Joey's backstory

Joey grew up in a small town north of Jorvik City. They often misbehaved or had outbursts at school due to them not being a particularly fast learner and having a hard time connecting with their peers - being bullied for their strange behaviors and odd obsessions with horses. Even as horses are far more common in Jorvik in other parts of the world, it was all Joey ever really cared to talk about.

Joey was never given much time or care by their parents. They never really helped them with their school work, or gave guidance for dealing with squabbles at school other than to "give it back to them" and to "toughen up." Eventually, Joey ended up being sent to visit the school counselor, or the principal, nearly every school day due to disruptions in class, failing grades, and aggressive behaviors towards other students.

This eventually led to a conference with Joey's parents to discuss their behavior, and after repeated meetings, the school counselor suggested therapy riding for over the summer break.

"It's very grounding for people who do therapy ridding," the school counselor would explain, "it may do Jennifer some good to spend time in an environment with people who will hopefully understand her, and Aideen knows horses are all she talks about."

Eventually, their parents agreed, as Joey's emotions were far too much for them to handle, and they were sent off to Moorland over the summer.

Summerqueen lived in a large weedy pasture on a run-down old farm with her herd. She was born, raised, and lived her whole life in this pasture - only ever leaving when the old farmers' grandkids came around to ride them up and down the road every once in a while.

Now that the farmer was too old to ride, and his grandchildren had moved on, Summerqueen and her herd were more or less abandoned in the field; save for when the farmer would roll out a bale of hay. Their manes and tails had become matted, and their coats were left dusted in dirt.

One day, a man and his young son came driving down the road to the farm. When they stepped out of their truck, the boy was shaking his father by the sleeve, practically jumping and pointing at a sheet of paper and then out to the mare, insisting his father needed to get this horse. They approached the old farmer, inquiring about the bay mare in his field and asking if he'd be willing to lease her out to them. The farmer, skeptical of their offer for a raggedy horse, eventually agreed after their insistence.

Joey had ridden horses before. When they were 8 years old, they attended a day camp where they had learned how to ride. They would go on trail rides a couple of times each summer since then. They were by no means a good at riding, but they knew enough to get by on a horse. Now, at the age of 12, they stood in an enclosed courtyard. The stable owner held a clip board, going over that they were here for therapy ridding to help with their unstable emotions and that they would be responsible for the care of the horse being lended to them.

As he finished going over their responsibilities and rules, his son led the bay mare into the courtyard. He seemed almost as excited and relieved as Joey did when fianlly introduced to Summerqueen. The mare was groomed over well enough to safely equip her with tack.

"Parting through and grooming out those matted locks will be a good bonding experience for the two of you," the stable owner explained. Joey wouldn't mind the work. All they cared about was that their world finally felt like it made sense.

All the interests they were told were annoying and obsessive, the constant daydreaming of being carried by a swift steed, the feeling of never truly belonging - it all washed away as they felt their horses muzzle breathe in the scent of her rider from their out reached hand and finally greeting eachother for the very first time.

After the first summer was over it felt like their heart was being torn out. They begged and pleaded to be allowed to return next summer, and only found the strength in themself to carry on through the winter when their parents agreed to send them back once the school year was finished. During their second summer there, they became friends with Alex Cloudmill. She didn't have a horse at the camp and didn't even live in the area as she only came down to visit every once in a while, but the two grew close over shared hardships.

By the time the third summer rolled around, Joey decided they were not going to return home. They couldn't bear it to be somewhere they didn't feel they belonged anymore. After arguing with their parents to remain in Moorland year round, they gave in and let them stay, telling them they were off on their own now and decided it was better to have almost no part in what Joey does after failing to rein them in.

Joey would stay in spare rooms at Moorland if they were available, otherwise staying in the hayloft of their barn. The Moorlands never left them uncared for and would remind them they were grateful for the extra help they gave during the winter. And yes, they did still attend school, and thankfully, with less head butting from other students.

As they entered high school, Alex would tell Joey about how she had discovered she was a soul rider, along with some other friends she had made. Alex would tell Joey about the dangerous adventures they had gone through together, the great evils they would defeat, and they magic they had discovered inside themselves. And not long after, the same magic Joey would find in themself too.

After revealing they were connected to all four circles, Elizabeth would take Joey under her wing to teach them more about this magic. While Joey began training and working more towards the goal of the soul riders and druids, they moved in with Elizabeth until they were old enough to go out on their own.

Joey now works as a camp counselor at Moorland during the summer and cares for trail horses as they take time off from their wilderness adventures during the winter. Alongside that, they also provide ridding lessons to new riders, training horses, and racing in championships when they have the time. They definitely have their hands full, but they wouldn't want it any other way.

While both Joey and Summerqueen are connected to all four circles, they do have their own preferences for what circles they work with the most. Joey is most connected to the lightning circle, and during the Catherine's Memories quest line became closer to the moon circle while practicing its magic with Linda. Summerqueen is most connected with the star circle as she helped Joey heal their emotions and build up their confidence when they first arrived at Moorland and later became closer connected to the sun circle.

Aaaaaaand END SCENE

#i am not at all a writer so i hope this isnt totally aweful to read #anyways YAYYYYYY I FIANLLY WROTE OUT JOEYS BACKSTARY YIPPYYYYYY #does a back flip #my story for this character has stayed mostly the same over the past 7 years so thats pretty epic B)#the story used to be a lot more self inserty then it already is #but like.... how much emotional baggage do my characters reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaalllyyyyyyyyyy need #star stable #star stable online #sso #my art #my ocs

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batmanfruitloops · 7 months

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Music Meister and Polka-dot Man seem like such a cute couple, so I must ask: what type of dynamic do they have? As in, is it the classic "extrovert and their introvert" trope? Or maybe they're both extroverted weirdos? I'm so curious to learn more about what Darius and Abner are like as boyfriends!

I'm so glad you asked, I've been meaning to explain those lovely goobers of mine!

"Extrovert and their introvert" is a pretty good description of how those two are, Darius being the extrovert and Abner being the introvert, although if Abner hadn't been stuck in a lab for years, he'd probably be more outgoing.

ALSO,

Because I haven't posted about Darius or Abner's backstories as of yet, I will be explaining as much as is necessary to fully understand their relationship dynamic, as well as a lot of things I like about them. So this is going to be very long and have lots of pictures (apologies that it took so long because of that)

Darius History

To start, Darius is gay (Although I suppose that's a given) and Abner is demi. Darius was aware of this from a pretty young age, and so went through the ups and downs of that over the years. Abner wouldn't know how he felt on the romantic to aspec end of the spectrum until much later. Given Abner has spent half of his life in a lab since the age of 12, and the raucous living environment he had before, developing feelings for anyone was the last thing on his mind. Living with Darius for a while and then being presented with romantic feelings, Abner would be able to think about what he'd really want out of a relationship, and if he'd like that with Darius, and he does.

Darius is an only child of Ronald and Dalia Chapel, one of the elite families of Gotham. His relationship with his parents was fine when he was very young, but when they found out that he had powers, that changed. It was a day like any other, really. Darius was playing with his cousin, Mikey. They were just playing around and Darius was singing at the top of his lungs. This was also a common behavior for him, as it was one of his favorite things. Without really thinking about it, Darius told Mikey to do whatever he said. Mikey did it all with a blank expression. Darius just thought he was playing along, so he brought his parents to show them. They were able to tell that he wasn't just choosing to listen. Terrified, they yelled for Darius to stop. He did, startled by their sudden frustration. Mikey snapped out of it, greeting his aunt and uncle. Because of this, Darius' uncle, Kevin, is also aware of his powers, although Dalia (who's Kevin's older sister) made him swear to never bring it up. Despite this, he's one of the few people to always be supportive of Darius in every part of himself.

Darius' parents tried to discourage him from doing anything musically. They didn't want anything to happen and affect their family. But Darius loved music and singing. There was just no way he was going to give that up in its entirety. So he still joined choir in school, much to his parents' dismay. He did well. He was his teacher's favorite: he could sight-read pretty much anything, he could play the piano as accompaniment during their lessons and performances, help others with their parts, as well as fit into any octave section, depending on who needed it most. Darius was bullied for this, but he brushed it off. It hurt, but he enjoyed what he did, and he knew he was good at it.

Among Darius' bullies, there were a main few who harassed him more than others, and physically instead of just words at times. These boys had another friend who defended Darius, telling them to leave him alone and helping him up off the ground. Darius fell for that boy, and he fell hard. He felt his heart flutter any time he saw him, and grinned whenever they touched.

Darius wanted to confess. He knew it might not go well, but he felt that even if the boy didn't feel the same way, he'd turn Darius down politely, and that would be it. Unfortunately, when Darius actually did confess to him in a secluded area of the school, his face contorted in disgust, and he turned Darius down not so politely. Still, Darius accepted that response and moved on. The boy, however, decided to start bullying Darius along with the others. Darius' sexuality became another thing to bully him for.

Besides that, the rest of Darius' school life was uneventful. Just homework, concerts, and a desire to belong. Right after he graduated, he got his ear pierced, and that little thing opened the floodgates for his parents to berate him again, telling him to get over himself so he'd be suitable to carry on the Chapel name. He stood his ground and soon moved out, tired of the toxic environment.

Darius is able to make friends after this, one of which he opens a club with called "Euphony Lounge". I'll have to get into that in a post of its own, but Darius co-owns and is the DJ there.

Darius still didn't have much luck dating. Not every experience was bad, but nobody was ever as serious as he was. His last "partner" before becoming the Music Meister was a guy named Corbin. Again, he'll get his own post eventually, but there's a reason I put partner in parentheses. He left Darius very drained, and with Darius also wanting a use for his powers, he threw his passions into becoming the Music Meister.

------------------

Abner History

Abner comes from a family of 9. This includes his parents and 6 siblings. His mother was an Iranian immigrant named Aviva Fazel, his father a born Gothamite David Krill. (Family order reference) His father was very controlling of his mother. She couldn't go out, couldn't talk to people or even neighbors, just had to take care of the house, kids, and whatever else he wanted. So Aviva did her best to appease his demands. Abner, being the second oldest, did his best to help around the house along with his other siblings. School was a welcome place to blend in because coming home meant going back to his father. Abner had heard his father yell and hit his mother on many occasions, threatening to throw them all out, but his mother never stopped him. That was until his father started yelling about Jamie and was going to hit him. Aviva wouldn't stand to have her children treated like that. Finally, David completely lost his temper, literally kicking Aviva and his kids out. And then they had nothing but each other.

Desperate to give her kids a better life, Aviva went from place to place, trying to find a job. During this time, Davin, Abner, and Chaya took the most care of the younger 4. They were too young to really understand what was happening, but they knew that something was wrong. A week turned into a month, then a month and a half. Aviva was able to pick up odd jobs here and there, but nothing she could keep. She could see her children starting to wither away, and it broke her heart.

Out of nowhere, Aviva spotted some fliers Stating that anyone willing to have a virus tested on them would have their living means provided for them into the foreseeable future. It sounded too good to be true, but she had to check. The flier was legitimate, and Aviva and her children were hurriedly ushered into an office to sign some documents.

The doctors and other staff all seemed fine at first. They treated the kids very nicely, getting them all cleaned up and fed. But once they were injected with the virus, their niceness took on an eerie presence. Each of them reacted differently, the spots starting small, and they felt fine. But not long after, the negative side effects started to appear. Again, saving that part for later, but I can tell you that Abner was the only one to end up surviving with the virus.

Abner hated it there. The silence filled only with the buzz of lights and passing footsteps, the dirty off-white walls, the doctors who only said that they cared. And they made him wear hand cuffs and a suppressor to keep his spots from getting out of hand until they needed him.

It was extremely uncomfortable, as well as a constant reminder of the condition he was in. Star labs' main concern is turning and/or taking meta-humans to become soldiers to fight wars instead of other humans as well as whatever intense or underhanded tasks, thanks to Waller.

Among these tasks, Waller wanted Abner to become one of her best soldiers, ready to kill and use any force necessary. But Abner is against killing, the idea terrifies him. He has no desire to be a violent person and refused despite the multitude of methods they tried using to change that. So they still deployed him for dirty government missions. So although he isn't wearing a suppressor and cuffs on missions, he's still equipped with a suicide collar and watched.

One such method they tried using on Abner was isolation: just enough to break him, but not enough to permanently take him out of commission. For many years, that was effective. Abner, stuck all by himself, left only to his thoughts. The many many thoughts of his family, outliving them, the neverending nightmare of his current situation.....the idea of dying didn't sound so bad anymore. But by the time he's 24, his current age, those isolated moments just turned to a burning rage and a plot to leave.

He puts this plot into effect during a mission and is able to get away. Again, I'll leave that moment for a different post, it's pretty important.

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First Meeting

Oh boy, let's talk about how these two met. It was not actually as rogues, though they did know of each other. They met in a meet-cute situation not too long after Abner finally escaped from the lab and was traveling around. The Gotham subway system, to be exact. Darius was just getting to and from shopping before noticing just how uncomfortable Abner looked, standing stiff with his hands in his pockets, hood pulled tightly, and a medical mask on. Then that lead to noticing that Abner had handsome eyes, and continuing to glance out of the corner of his eye. Due to the subway bumping around, Abner's hood slips momentarily, and Darius is able to see a few spots. "Oh, I know who you are," an unspoken thought. They meet eyes in that moment, Darius from curiosity and Abner fear. The shuttle grinds to a halt, and Abner books it out of there, Darius close behind. He's never actually met another meta-human before, this was his perfect chance! Unfortunately, it comes across as creepy and once Abner is cornered, he pulls a buzz saw spot out in a panic, ready to use it if Darius doesn't run off. This finally makes Darius realize just how this scenario reads, and he tries to explain and ask if Abner is okay. They chat in that alley briefly before Darius offers Abner to stay in his house until he finds a better means for himself to live. Abner would still be skeptical at this point, but Darius hasn't made any moves to hurt him (he does disclose that he's the Music Meister, btw) and Abner has the ability to stop him if he needs to. So he follows him home. Darius would explain where things were and let him know that he isn't obligated to offer anything to stay, or even interact with him. This would be pretty surprising to Abner, people don't just do things without a motive.

Abner is honestly very grateful to have a place to hide and some company. The idea of being alone any longer would be unbearable. So Abner stays pretty close to Darius, and they get to know each other as they open up. It helps that Darius is so chatty, since it makes Abner much more comfortable.

--------------------

Had they met as rogues instead, it wouldn't be too different? It mostly crossed my mind purely out of curiosity, but it's cute to me that Darius would still fall for Abner and try very hard to "rizz him up" before Abner went from flustered and distraught (from having to return to the lab, he wouldn't want to acknowledge anything at first, that could end up hurting both of them, and also, Abner still wouldn't understand how he was feeling at first) to wanting to run away with him. (I know, I can be extremely mushy)

It was a bit awkward for the first while, but Darius did a lot to make it comfortable for Abner and not feel like a stranger just passing through.

Darius originally offered Abner his room and he'd be sleeping on the couch, but Abner wasn't keen on the idea of being alone again, so he asked if they could both just be in his room. Darius understood that sentiment, so he obliged. A bit awkward for Darius (in a nervous context, not that he'd dislike the idea. He's only ever slept in the same bed as past partners), but Abner was used to sleeping with his mom and siblings before, so it's much more comfortable for him to share the proximity. Along with that, Darius also plays music on a low volume and keeps lava lamps on while he sleeps, which adds to an atmosphere that's calming. It's the opposite of the lab in every way,

Darius really did try not to fall for Abner, despite his initial physical attraction. He had just had a bad experience months prior with Corbin, and he wanted to prove to himself that he could be emotionally independent. Abner had also been in a situation that made Darius feel like he'd be unsure if he felt the same, or worse, that he'd feel obligated to reciprocate because Darius was providing him amenities. But the more Abner became comfortable with him, the harder it got.

Abner was very kind and caring, and very good at listening. He'd opened up about his past and let Darius do the same, so that only made them closer. Abner enjoyed how Darius liked to show him new things, and now enthusiastic he was about it. Abner treated Darius a lot like his siblings, it's what he'd best understand; he'd have a hard time placing how it felt different, but he'd just assume it was because they weren't actually blood related.

That said, Darius would reach a point where he'd confess, while being careful about it. He wouldn't want to make Abner uncomfortable, but it was affecting Darius on a daily basis.

Abner had to think about it for a few days, but he ultimately decided that he'd like to try and see how things worked out with Darius.

Abner likes to cook, but it would have been over a decade since he last got to. So he wouldn't have much confidence doing so, especially since he'd be recreating his mother's recipes based on his memories, but he'd enjoy himself a lot. Darius doesn't know how to cook, so it's helpful to let both of them eat better as well.

Darius is a hopeless romantic. He's just so happy to be dating Abner in the first place, and he has a lot of silly habits. Sometimes he'll just blush and giggle to himself if he catches Abner staring. He did this before they were dating too, but it's not something that ever stops happening. When he finds himself especially flustered, he'll tuck his hair behind his ear. Not the long side, mind you, but the shorter one. So there's not really any hair to tuck, it's just the motion, and Abner finds that very cute.

Abner is also pretty happy to just be dating Darius, although he shows it more through contentment. He's also a bit more aloof about giving affection. Not because he doesn't want to be affectionate, he's just so used to being by himself and left to his own thoughts that his actions can seem out of nowhere. To give an example for the sake of explanation, let's say the two were on an outing and Darius was being chatty the whole time (because of course he would be). Abner would feel the progressing want to kiss him, so the actual event of said kiss wouldn't be in reaction to any particular thing Darius said or where they were.

Euphony Lounge is a club that Darius made with his closest friend at the time, Micah. They wanted a club that anyone could feel welcome at, as well as have it decorated with lots of inspiration to their favorite music artists throughout the years, I'll get to it in it's own post eventually.

Darius will be working as the DJ most nights. Otherwise, he'll be out causing forgivable mischief as the Music Meister. He's so happy seeing other people enjoying music as well as themselves, and it's the perfect place for that.

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Spot issues

There's so much I could go into depth about how Abner's spots and the virus work, but I'll save the bulk of that for another post. What's most important is that Abner's spots can make him feel very sick if his body reaches the limit of how many spots it can handle at once before they need to be purged.

He'll start to get a bad migraine, with spotty vision and his mouth with taste like stomach acid, throat dry, and sticking to itself. Nausea sets in as well, making moving at all uncomfortable. He'd be more aware of every spot on his body than usual, and so he'd want them gone. Unfortunately, he still can't purge them just anywhere. If he were to throw them all up in the toilet, it would be destroyed by the buzz saws and black holes, so he has to be able to find a secluded area to safely get rid of them all. Darius does his best to comfort Abner until these bouts are over, continuing to help as purging leaves him very drained.

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Dating

Darius likes to sing in the shower and continues to do so while getting ready for the day. Abner finds this very amusing and will just listen to and watch him. Although it still caught both of them by surprise the first time it happened living together.

Abner had on cuffs and a suppressor for a majority of his life before escaping. Because of this, he gets extremely anxious when his wrists or neck are touched. Add any pressure to that, and he'll pull away. Darius is understanding of this and does his best to avoid touching them. Pretty much anywhere else is fine for him. Places that are more commonly sensitive, he'd be fine with, like your back, hips, thighs, that kind of thing. So he becomes a bit frustrated at himself about it. It makes total sense, it's going to take time, and it will probably only ever be Darius who'll touch him like that, but that's part of why he's frustrated. He trusts Darius, there's no way that man will ever hurt him, yet the anxiety is still there. But they work through it over time. Abner having patience in himself is very important. And Darius is just as patient and sweet. Perhaps I'm beating this point into the ground, but it's very important to me, given I've had a similar situation before.

Darius is very much on the opposite end. He likes all kinds of touch, anywhere, anytime. He's a very physically affectionate person, so his friends receive that too (given they aren't touch averse, of course). This is a helpful fact for when they first start dating, as it gives Abner the ability to lead. Darius is content just knowing Abner feels the same way, but he's very happy that Abner wants to be touchy as well.

Along with that, Darius is 6' 1" and Abner is 6', so they're practically the same height. If not for Darius styling his hair so big, and wearing platforms to go out, you probably couldn't be sure who was actually taller. Also a little fun fact that goes along with that, in 4" platforms Darius would be the same height as Jo, 6' 5", although his Music Meister costume has one of the few pairs of shoes he owns that have a normal sole.

Abner isn't particularly fond of going out. He wants to experience new things for himself, but the idea of his identity being found out and having to return to the lab is his worst fear. However, it's more comfortable when he goes out with Darius. Darius is very good at keeping his attention or re-directing it to something else. A firm hand hold can never go wrong either. Plus it's not fair to think that Abner would never be able to go out because of something someone else is responsible for.

Still, they mostly go out to the Euphony Lounge and that's a safe place to be. It's stimulating for Abner without being too much in the DJ booth, and Darius is able to enjoy a job he really likes. Sometimes they'll even dance together up there, just getting lost in the music and each other's presence.

I think that's everything I have at the moment, ha ha, I love these two,

- Sarsee

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