#finally got around to finish this when I was supposed to post this last year | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nana-gumi · 2 months

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devoted f.toji

pairings: fushiguro toji x fem! reader

cw: heavy angst, arranged marriage, illness, inaccurate descriptions of heart disease (just did some research lol), megumi is 5 years old, mentions of abuse, some kissing, mentions of pregnancy, drinking, toji is giving mixed signals, suggestive themes, lots of cursing, happy ending. wc: 18k

a/n: this was a filo au that i posted on tiktok, but due to problems posting on tiktok, the story wasn't finished and now here it is with an ending!! sorry for the long wait my tiktok readers 🥹 i'm sorry if the ending did not meet your expectations :') will post the angst ending soon

despite the years his past wife died, he still couldn't move on. it's up for the fate to decide if you could change him.

happy ending | alternate angst ending

being an outcast in your family is the worst. you were forced to marry someone who's like you.

toji fushiguro, an outcast in his family and both of you were forced to marry each other. you've heard rumors about him. mostly bad ones. his father's company is famous after all.

toji have a son from his deceased wife. the time you met his son, megumi, you thought the kid will hate you but it was the opposite. he welcomed you, even told you that he was happy he finally has a mother.

you and toji never really interacted with each other that much, only if needed, like family gatherings or when megumi is around. who would want to show a kid that you're not interested with each other, right? but when it's just the two of you, both were completely a stranger to each other. there were times were you wanted to start a conversation because sleeping in one bed was awkward especially when there's no conversation at all.

you did start a conversation at some point but toji's presence was intimidating enough to shut you up. as time passes by, you're getting used to his presence. he seemed to be scowling at all times but you noticed that, that's just how he is. you continued to interact with him until you and him finally got comfortable with each other, where good morning and good nights were exchanged. but then you've grown attached to the man, especially his son.

when you asked toji why his last name is fushiguro, he told you that it was his deceased wife's last name. toji still refused to bring back his last name which is supposed to be zenin. he told you that his family once forced him to use zenin again but toji simply ignored them. even though toji was an outcast, none of his family couldn't argue with him so he kept the last name fushiguro while you stick with your own last name.

being an outcast, you didn't feel any love from your family and the simple things toji showed you made you feel loved. that night he let you borrow his jacket when it started to snow unexpectedly, those times where he makes extra coffee for you, he would even let you hug him if you have nightmares and most of all, he defends you from your family.

that's what you loved, no– love about him. but you wonder, does toji feel the same? and the answer was already obvious. toji only accepted the marriage because he doesn't have a choice. they will remove him from the business his family owns and he doesn't want that because he needs money for his son, megumi. he promised his deceased wife that he'll take care of megumi after all.

and you adore toji for that. sometimes you think, will toji cherish you the same way he does with his deceased wife? even if his wife died many years ago, he still have the love he has for her, as if she's still around to feel it.

you were currently laying on the couch as you hug yourself for warmth. it wasn't an argument with toji, but you just want to be left alone for now. the words "i love you" accidentally slipped out of your mouth, and you didn't mind if toji doesn't reply and you just hoped he didn't reply to it at all.

"i love you, toji." you whispered, enough for him to hear and his eyes looked guilty as he looked away from you.

"you shouldn't." toji replied. "you'll just hurt yourself."

"i know."

"you know we're married only in papers, we already decided to be just friends." you already know that, but you couldn't just hold back anymore, and of course he would say that. toji thinks no one could replace the love his deceased wife showed and gave him. she was there at his lowest point, she comforted him, told him the words he doesn't know he deserves to hear and toji just couldn't open his heart to love someone, at least not anymore. his wife was enough, megumi addressing you as his mother is enough, even a part of toji doesn't want it.

you glanced at the ring he's caressing on his finger. it should be the ring you placed on his finger on the wedding day but instead, it was the promise ring his wife had gave him. your heart couldn't ache anymore. you're so used at the empty feeling that it doesn't hurt you anymore.

"i'm sorry.." you mumbled as you excused yourself, deciding to just sleep on the couch. there you've grown to realize that being attached with toji fushiguro was the biggest mistake you'll ever done but you'll never regret.

you woke up with a shuffling beside you. you opened your eyes and saw megumi with his small blanket on his hand as he frowned at you.

"mama, it's cold." megumi said as he hurriedly draped his blanket above you.

"it's fine, megumi." you smiled at him as megumi tucked his small body on your arms.

"mama, did papa make you cry?" megumi asked and you pinched his nose as you disagree with his question.

"no megumi, mama fell asleep here while watching." you said.

"okay, i love you mama." megumi said and it has been minutes since he said those words and you were still silent that it made megumi look up at you.

"mama, i love you." he repeated with a hushed tone.

"i―" it was as if you choked on something as you embraced the child. "i love my baby too." you muttered.

after that conversation with toji, everything feels weird as if it's reminding you of your place, that you were forced to marry toji to strengthen your family's bond with the zenin's.

"papa loves you too." megumi mumbled and you just hoped it was true.

toji's mother suddenly visited that day without a notice and toji wasn't around. his family doesn't really hate you but there's always a weird atmosphere around when you're close with them. just when his mother asked where toji was, he suddenly came back from work.

you knew he went here in rush, and the way he wrapped his arms around you as his lips came in contact with your forehead made your heart flutter. but you reminded yourself that it was only for a show. his mother smiled at the scene as toji sat beside you on the dining table.

"what brings you here, ma." toji asked in an annoyed tone.

"i just wanted to visit my grandson." you excused yourself a bit as you made your way towards the kitchen to make them something to eat and drink, and when you came back, the question you and toji were avoiding got asked by his mother.

"when do you plan on having another child?" she asked.

"no plans yet, we're to busy to have another child running around. megumi is enough."

"it's been a year since you're both married. why not give it a try?"

"ma―" you cut toji off before he could say something harsh to his mother.

"we did try it, ma, but it didn't really work so we decided to just wait for the right time." you answered, lied for toji and his mother seemed to buy it.

"ok.. but i am getting old, toji. we need to see a female granchild too." she said before excusing herself to go to her grandson who was playing. toji huffed at her mother's response as he stood up from the chair.

"i am sorry about that, toji." you said because as much as possible, you wanted to avoid answering that question too. toji sighed as he left the kitchen to get changed and when he went back to the living room, his mother was about to leave.

finally. he thought.

"just give it a try." toji's mother told you as she went inside her car.

"why'd she go here without informing me." toji muttered as megumi sat between you and him on the couch, showing the chocolate his grandmother gave him.

"i was surprised too."

"that's fine, thank you for covering up for me." he said as he stood up from the couch and took the chocolate on megumi's hand while carrying him. megumi whined in surprise as his father carried him like a sack of rice as you slowly followed behind.

"papa!" he exclaimed, kicking and punching but it was no use.

"come on, we don't want mama to get mad for eating to much sweets at night." toji said. he wasn't talking about you, you know that.

he placed megumi down beside the refrigerator as he placed the chocolate inside.

"too much sweet is not good for you." toji said as he carried megumi once again.

you just finished washing the dishes as you walked past megumi's room, and their muffled voices made you eavesdrop at their conversation, and you maybe you just didn't.

"megumi, why are you being so stubborn? you don't want mama to get mad right?"

"mama doesn't get mad at me!" megumi yelled as you smile a bit at his words.

"megumi, did you already forget your real mama, hm? she'll be sad in heaven. you want that?" toji said and his words was like a needle that was continuously poking at your chest.

"huh? but mama is here." megumi said, pointing at the door.

"look, (name) is just a replacement for your mama, but your real mama? she loves you, her love for you couldn't be replaced by someone."

"even (name)?" megumi said, and the way he addressed you by your name, you admit hurts. you took a deep breath as you felt a sharp pain in your chest. but that's fine, you're already used to it.

"yes, now go and sleep okay?"

"okay."

megumi started acting awkwardly towards you the next day, he was trying his best to avoid your gaze, maybe even you. he would stutter through his words between calling your name or 'mama'.

"bye bye, (name).." megumi looks away at you as he held toji's hand.

"bye bye." you replied as you forced a smile and megumi looked back once at the front door as they finally left the house.

"papa, i don't want to see mama sad." megumi said as toji placed his seatbelt. megumi might be a kid but he can clearly understood human emotions. when he called you by your name earlier, he saw how your smile disappeared but then you covered it up by a forced smile, and you just let him call you by your name.

"she's not sad-"

"yes she is."

"you don't understand, megumi." toji said and megumi only kept quiet because he knew arguing with his father is useless.

megumi jolted awake. he fell asleep after being in school the whole day as he searched for your presence. he had a dream, a really bad one and he found you in your and his father's room, talking to someone in your phone. megumi heard a sob coming out of you. you said something that megumi couldn't quite hear as you finally ended the call. he watched as you wiped your tears with your palms and took a deep breath. megumi silently close the door as he went back to the living room, sitting patiently as you appeared on his view.

"oh, megumi. how was your sleep?" you asked as you kneeled infront of the boy. megumi observed your eyes, they were a bit red.

"it's fine, mama." you were taken aback. he's calling you mama again. you smiled as you cupped his chubby cheeks.

"are you hungry?" you asked and he nods as you guided him on his feet. he didn't let go of your hand.

"mama, i love you. you're my one and only mama." you felt megumi's small hands squeeze your big ones, as if he's reassuring you of something.

"i love you too, my one and only baby. now let's go and prepare dinner!" megumi noticed that your mood shifted, and he was proud of himself that he was the one who brought a smile on your face.

it's unusual for you to wake up with toji's arms around you. you knew toji didn't do it on purpose, he was drunk last night and you just want to indulge the moment, even just for a minute or even seconds. you felt toji moved and you immediately stood up from the bed.

why do you feel guilty? it's not like you and toji were cheating on his wife. but that's how you felt. toji was still sleeping as you sighed, placing the blanket above him as you went out of the room.

"good morning, mama!" megumi greeted as he closed his ipad off.

"morning, 'gumi. what do you want for breakfast?"

"anything you cook!" he answered as he sat on the kitchen stool, watching you prepare the ingredients you needed.

"pancakes or rice?"

"rice!"

"okay." you laughed at his energetic response.

"mama can we buy art materials later? my teacher said we'll do arts on monday."

"sure, let's go out after we eat."

toji heard you and megumi talking as he arrived the living room. and just as he was about to enter the kitchen, your body bumped on his chest.

"oh, i was about to wake you up. breakfast is ready." you said, about to went back to the table but toji held your arm to stop you for a moment. he placed his other hand behind his head as he looks away.

"did i said something weird? last night." he asked as you look at him for a moment before you shake your head left to right. toji sighed in relief as he let go of your arm, both of you sitting on the kitchen stool. you look at toji, and he looks at you, but you couldn't meet his eyes as you smiled at megumi and place the food on his plate.

you just finished brushing your teeth as you were disturbed with a loud thud outside the bathroom.

"toji? are you there?" you called.

it was as if your soul went out of your body for a second, toji appeared infront of you. a curse slipped out of your mouth as toji's weight fell on you.

this was your first time seeing toji drunk, even your first time encountering a drunk person and you really don't know what to do so you tried your best to pull him with you in the room since he was so heavy.

once you opened the door of your room, you and toji fell on the ground. does his wife encountered this event a lot of times? if so what did she do?

toji was whispering something. you couldn't quite hear him as you placed your ear close to his mouth, the smell of alcohol getting stronger than it was and he was apologizing. you were confused as you move away from him.

"toji, i can't carry you anymore." you said, trying to wake him up as toji's eyes slightly opened.

"my wife." he whispered, you don't know if that certain beat in your heart was because he called you his wife or maybe because he mistook you of his wife.

and the next words he uttered is what you didn't expect as he suddenly placed his hand on your cheek and you were completely frozen in your spot as he continued to speak.

toji's hand finally slipped from your face as his head fell on your shoulder and you sit there, processing the words he said just a minute ago

he didn't mistook you as if wife, he indeed called you his wife and it warmed your heart.

"mama?" you were out of your thoughts when you felt megumi's hand above yours. "are you okay?" he asked as you look at him and then at toji.

"i'm fine, what was it again?" you asked, facing megumi as he smiled at you.

"papa will go with us later!" he said.

"oh? is that so?" you said as you look at toji, waiting for his answer.

he laughs at your reaction.

"looks like you don't want to?" he joked.

"it's not like that! it's always just me and megumi, since you're always busy.." you responded.

"yeah, today's a day off." you cursed internally. you have an appointment to the doctor today, you thought taking megumi with you would be fine, but toji? what reason should you tell him? you couldn't possibly say that you have a family meeting. no, you don't even have someone you can call a family, except for this two. plus toji would be updated if there's a family gathering.

maybe you'll ask the doctor to move appointments.

"are you sure? though i'm not sure when my schedule's gonna be clear again, (name)."

"it's fine choso, i can wait, just update me."

"sorry about that, i'm busy these days plus yuuji's been wanting attention too."

"is that so?" you said as you smile. "i want to meet him soon! looks like he's a good kid."

"soon, i'll bring him to the hospital with me."

"okay, see you next time then?"

"yeah. and (name), don't stress yourself too much, it's bad for the heart." you smiled at his words.

"of course, thank you. bye."

"who's choso?" startled by the voice, you immediately hid your phone behind you.

he was eavesdropping.

toji raised his eyebrow at your reaction as he opened his cabinet.

"a friend of mine."

"really? didn't know you have a friend." toji said in a voice you couldn't recognize, it was as if he's mocking you. you scoffed at him, deciding to just ignore his words.

you were about to leave the room but toji's voice stopped you.

"if you're starting to date someone, don't inform megumi about it. or he'll be sad." he said, mumbling the last sentence as you left. did toji really thought you were dating someone even if you're married already?

sure everything is one-sided, but you just don't have it in you to date someone, not when toji already has your heart, your everything. even if he doesn't know it. but you think it's better for toji to assume that choso is something in your life than choso just being an appointed doctor.

toji was too drunk when he got home and he think he just saw his deceased wife, but when he approached the person, it turned out to be you.

toji noticed that he was at the bathroom and felt your hands on his arms as you place it on your shoulder. he felt drinking that day, he wanted to forget everything or maybe when his wife appeared on his dream last night, the words he told her. he didn't want to wake up that night.

toji already forgot her face, her voice, how her hands felt on his. he already promised that they will meet again. in next life or in another universe. it doesn't matter where, as long as he could meet his wife again. but his wife told him in his dreams that he should move on, and he couldn't just do that.

toji did saw your efforts. he saw how you care for him, especially megumi. but he couldn't just stop himself from comparing you to his wife on his mind. no one could ever replace his wife. toji squinted his eyes, he saw you trying to pick him up.

"toji, i can't carry you anymore." but your words was a blur to him.

toji's hand twitched and moved on its own as he sat up from the floor.

"i'm sorry, i can't." he muttered as he placed his rough hand on your cheek, observing your eyes as he leaned his forehead on yours. "i can't love no more. i can't love you the same way. i'm sorry."

toji was the man of your dreams.

he might not know it but toji saved your life, he saved you from the hands of your greedy parents.

"i can't love you the same way, i'm sorry." the way he said those words were filled with guilt.

sometimes you put yourself on his place. if you were the one that has a past lover who died, of course it'll be hard to move on, especially when that person made you feel love and gave you the world.

toji was miserable back then, not until he met her. she fixed him. just like you and toji, you met him and he fixed you. the only difference was they loved each other. she loved him and he loved her, while you love him but he was stuck in the past.

there were times where you watch him sleep, not in a bad way, but just want to admire him where you whisper your love for him. he won't hear it of course. his dreams must be more entertaining than the words you're whispering to him.

toji's words that night made an impact to you. everything he does for you, you started viewing it as him just doing it for kindness and not for love. maybe toji just doesn't want to hurt you further because he knew how badly your family treated you back then. you were on the same page after all.

now you realized that maybe it was bound to happen, that being married with toji is enough, being a mother figure to megumi was enough. he already did enough for you, for taking you away from your hell life. you'll just pay him back by doing what you should for him and megumi.

you'll just love him silently. you'll bury your feelings deep inside your heart that only you, yourself knew. maybe wait for him to finally acknowledge you. but you knew it wouldn't happen this time around.

for now, you'll just watch him love someone who wasn't even around anymore.

toji was showing you a picture of his past wife because you asked him to see her. she looked a lot like megumi, but a female version. now you know why toji fell in love with her. even in the picture, it was already obvious that his wife was kind and a loving person. but you're kind and a loving person too, aren't you? the universe is so unfair.

"this is when she was 7 months pregnant." toji said as he pointed a specific picture. you smiled at his words as you continue to listen to him. but toji suddenly went silent all of the sudden and closed the album as he cleared his throat.

"why, did you want to see it?" he asked as he placed the album back inside his drawer.

"just curious, she looked a lot like megumi." you said as you lean your head on your knees, facing him. "how did you meet her?"

"it was an arranged marriage too." he said. "i wasn't really favored with it but i don't have a choice." toji smiled. how can a person like her make him smile like this when you can't? "she was simple, i suddenly fell in love with her." toji said with adoration in his voice as he looked at you.

you sighed as you lay flat on the bed and started stretching your arms.

"ah, i wonder if someone would love me that way too." you sighed as you turned your back on him.

"you will, but that couldn't be me." he said straightforwardly as if reminding you that you couldn't change his mind anymore and it made you curl yourself on the sheets.

"are you and that choso dating?" toji asked as you turn to face him. he was leaning his back on the headboard with a laptop on his lap.

"no? why'd you assume we're dating?"

"you've been going out a lot these days, i just thought."

"are you okay with that?" you asked.

"of course." and he didn't even hesitate which hurt you more. "i mean, maybe he's the one you're looking for?" toji said as he closed the laptop, the surroundings being engulfed with darkness, the bright moon outside being the only source of light.

but you're already here. you wanted to say those words but you already knew what he'll respond to it. toji lay flat on the bed as he placed his arms behind his head while you were still facing him.

"not gonna answer my question?"

"oh? what was it again?"

"i said maybe choso is the one you're looking for."

"toji-"

"i just want what's best for you, y/n. you know, i can't really.."

"toji, i already know that. choso is just a friend, nothing more, nothing less." you said followed by a sigh. "at least just let me be by your side." you whispered, hoping that he heard even just a bit of it.

"if you insist, but i already warned you." toji said.

"i know.." toji was just beside you, but he's far within your reach. has it always been like this? every night, you and toji always ends the day with a conversation, same question with the same answers and toji will end up with his back facing you. every night, you couldn't sleep. only whispering those three words to him hoping and praying that he'll hear it and say it back.

every i love you's that was whispered were left hanging on the air. sometimes it was tiring, thinking of the words toji said that maybe he wasn't really for you and you weren't the one for him.

"good night." you mumbled.

"good night." he replied and everything was dark.

i love you, toji.

those words you utter to yourself every single day and night, hoping that he'll say it back, maybe just once, and it might heal the void inside your heart. but not a single day he said it back.

toji felt guilty but he shouldn't be feeling this way. you were just married on papers and already agreed that being friends was enough. yet he couldn't help but watch as you curl yourself, as if seeking for a comfort he knew he couldn't give you. he apologized on his mind, he couldn't say it out loud because he knew how it would hurt you more, so he just stayed silent.

toji switched off the lights as he lay comfortably to the side with your back facing him. he doesn't know how long he's been closing his eyes but sleep just couldn't take over him.

"i love you, toji."

he froze on his spot and his body tensed as he heard you whispered those words. he then felt your fingers caress the scar on his lips.

"i'm sorry if you ever feel guilty for not returning my love for you. but always know that i understand you." you whispered and your touch disappeared on his skin as he felt your warmth get close to him. "i'll keep waiting, maybe someday.." minutes passed, toji was still waiting for you to say something but you were already silent.

he opened his one eye and the first thing he saw was your back, there were a space between you and him.

is it always this far? are you always this far from him? toji doesn't know. he tried to reach for you but he stopped himself. and then again, another apology had slipped on his mind. he couldn't say it back, not when he swore to only say those words to the person he loves.

toji finally closed his eyes as the sleepiness take over his body. he knew that the one for you, who'll cherish you, love you like how you deserve it will eventually come and toji was already certain that it wasn't him.

it was really true that first love never dies now that you've experienced it and toji was enough proof. you couldn't stop loving him the way he couldn't stop loving his past wife. how can you even wish someone to just die when they're already dead? it was weird but were you too cruel for that?

you just hope that someday, toji will look at you the way you've always been wanting and craving. you'll wait, even if your and his hair turns white or even if you only have enough time to live.

"just this once?" you whispered as toji held your cold hands as he placed it on his cheek.

toji closed his eyes as he placed your hand back on the bed, hospital bed.

"i'm really sorry.." he whispered back and it was enough for you to hear it.

a small laugh left your lips. it's so hard even to laugh now.

"that's fine, at least thank you for being here."

"i'll say it if you want."

"don't say something you don't mean, toji." you smiled at him.

"yeah, i guess so."

you sit up from the bed as you wake up. it was just dream, but it felt to real for it to be a dream.

you couldn't help but cry as you cover your mouth as you felt a hand on your back.

"what's wrong? another nightmare?" toji asked. even in your dreams, in your death bed, toji still didn't love you. even in your deathbed, toji still couldn't love you the way you wanted it. maybe it was sign that toji doesn't have to know your condition.

he doesn't need to know.

"it's nothing, let's go back to sleep?"

you went out again. toji heard you talking to someone on the phone, he guessed it was choso. he didn't mean to follow you but he still did.

toji ended up following you on a hospital and he was confused. are you sick? toji asked himself, but you always looked fine.

he anxiously tap his finger on the steering as he waited for you on his car and it took you more than 30 minutes to finally come out of the hospital again.

why does that doctor have to send you out? even placing his hand on your back.

toji watched you enter your car. he waited for you to leave before going out of his car to enter inside the hospital.

he was hesitant as he finally arrived the front desk.

he cleared his throat as he faced the lady infront.

"is there a patient named (name)?"

"(name)?" the nurse repeated as she looked down the lists but your name wasn't there. "i'm so sorry but there is no patient named y/n here."

"ah, mr. fushiguro. did (name) send you here?" toji turned around at the voice and he was met with the same doctor he saw outside the hospital. toji's eyebrow furrowed as he fully faced him. "i'm choso by the way, y/n's doctor. i guess she already told you?"

"mama?" you heard as you enter the front door.

megumi approached you as he embraced you.

"did you just woke up?" you asked as both of you went back to the living room.

"a while ago.."

"where's your papa?"

"i woke up when he left."

"he left? but he said it's his day off today." you mumbled as you recalled his words. "anyway, what do you want for breakfast, gumi?"

as toji entered the house, yours and megumi's muffled voice can be heard at the front door. it looked like you and megumi is having fun. toji finally entered the kitchen and saw you with megumi baking a cupcake.

"papa!" megumi exclaimed as he jumped down the stool to approach his father, the icing on megumi's clothes being transferred to toji's clean ones.

"welcome back, toji. where have you been?" you asked and it suddenly smelled like cigarettes.

she looks fine. toji thought, but he was trying to stare at you as if it'll reveal something.

"toji?" you called him with concern as he snapped out of his thoughts.

"just went out. who's that for?"

"mama said she wants to try baking!" megumi answered.

"is that so?" toji said as megumi hummed in response.

toji looked at you once again, but his stare was making you uncomfortable. there's something weird about the way he looks at you and it was scaring you.

"i'll rest for a bit." toji said as he left the kitchen.

"mama, did you and papa fight?" megumi asked as he approached you.

"no megumi, he's just tired." you smiled down at megumi to reassure him and he warmly returned your smile.

toji didn't left the room that day.

you lay down beside him, still minding the space with both of your backs facing each other.

you heard shuffling behind you but you paid no mind to it. and when you turned your body to the other side, you were surprised to come face to face with toji.

"hey." you started as you slightly move back to create more space. "are you not hungry? there's still left over from the kitchen.

"i'm fine." toji replied with a low voice as you nod at his words.

"good night, toji." you said as you went back to face the other side again.

you were waiting for his reply but minute passed, he was still silent so you took a deep breath and sighed while closing your eyes. but the moment you closed your eyes, you felt him move close to you. he tucked his arms below your body and then the other above you as he easily pulled you close to him.

"good night." he replied as you look up at him with shock. did he just initiate a physical touch? he's not drunk, right?

"mhm." you simply replied, still surprised. toji didn't move away after that, he stayed still and so were you.

"are you drunk?" you asked that made toji open his eyes.

"i'm not. why asking?"

"well, it's- is this okay with you?" you asked and your voice was too small that toji almost didn't catch it.

you were out of words. it was weird for toji to act this way, especially when he's not even drunk. does he need something from you?

it hurts to think that he's only being affectionate because he needs something from you. either way, you'll still do what he'll ask you because you love him.

"are you not comfortable with it?" the way you immediately stopped him when he was about to remove his arms around you was a desperate move, but you didn't want to lose this chance because it might not happen again.

"no, i like it.. it's just, we've never done this before, shouldn't you be the one who's uncomfortable with this? i mean-"

"shh, let's just stay like this." toji murmured as he pulled you a little more close to him. his warm breath fanning on your neck.

you smiled but if felt like something was missing. you felt complete but at the same time you're not. you placed your hands on top of toji's that was around you as you give it a light squeeze.

"toji." you called his name in a whispered tone as you heard him hummed in response. "i'm not her, toji."

you didn't know why you even said those words. toji was hugging you but there were possibilities of him thinking his wife on you. because why would he suddenly do this if not for that?

as those words left your mouth, the warm presence that was comforting you suddenly disappeared. you weren't even surprised when he did that, just a tiny bit of ache in your heart.

heh, i knew it. but it's fine, i still loved it. you thought to yourself as you ended up curling your own body again, seeking for the comfort that was there just a while ago.

maybe someday, toji will hug you again, but that time, you hope he'll do it as him thinking of you, not while thinking of his deceased wife.

"i'm choso by the way, (name)'s doctor. i guess she already told you?"

"hah?" toji rasped in confusion as he looked at choso. so this was choso and he's a doctor.

not bad. toji thought.

"then why are you here, mr. fushiguro? your wife left just 5 minutes ago."

"i know." toji replied.

choso raised his eyebrow at the man in front of him.

"do you perhaps need something from me?" choso couldn't help but ask because the way toji looked at him was different.

"yes, i want to talk to you."

both of them ended outside the hospital where there were no people around.

toji slammed his hand on the wall, slightly embarrassed as he watch the doctor laugh in front of him.

"what's funny." toji rasped.

"sorry, sorry-" choso replied as he pants, he never had a good laugh these days. "mr. fushiguro, are you assuming that your wife is having an affair with me?"

"i didn't mean it that way, i was just asking if you and (name) have something."

"mr. fushiguro, ms. (name) is just my patient, i'm sorry if it came off that way." choso said as he leaned his back on the wall. "plus i know my boundaries, i wouldn't go with a married woman, y'know." toji calmed his body as he leaned his back on the wall like choso did.

"she's always talking to you on the phone, that's why i assumed."

"(name) told me a lot about you."

"i'm hoping it's the good ones."

"not even once your wife badmouthed you, mister." choso replied as he offered toji a cigarette to which he declined.

"she's not sick, is she?" toji asked.

"mhm, your wife was diagnosed with arrhythmia."

"arrhythmia?" toji faced choso at his words.

"her heartbeat is irregular, mr.fushiguro. are you not taking a good care of your wife?" choso tried to joke him but he didn't expect toji to stay silent. "well, i hope she's not lying when she said she doesn't smoke and drink?"

"no, she doesn't." toji said.

"anxiety or any emotional distress can cause this. are you perhaps having a lot of fight? her condition has been like this for a long time now."

"no, we don't fight." toji said "is it harming her that much?" toji asked

"for now, it's not. but if she doesn't take a good care of herself, it may lead to a heart failure."

"how to avoid this?" choso looked at toji in disbelief. did you seriously kept it a secret to your husband?

"toji." you called him as he was about to leave the house. "i'm sorry about last night." you said.

you frowned as you heard the front door close. toji was ignoring you. you felt guilty for saying those words last night but you just couldn't hold back anymore. it was hurting you. why would you say that when toji only wanted to be close with you?

you sighed in defeat as you turn around, continuing the dishes you were doing.

you knew how toji hated it when it's about his wife, yet you still brought it up.

"toji!" you scolded.

it was yet another night where he came home drunk, you're almost starting to get used of this scenario.

"i said don't touch me!" he yelled back as you stumbled back a bit from the force of his push.

you were getting scared. not even once toji had yelled at you, this was the first time. was the words you said really did have an impact to him? now you feel more guilty than you were. you were scared that toji would start looking at you the way your family did.

only because of the stupid words you said.

"toji." you said in a more calmer tone as you guide him on his feet.

"let go." he mumbled.

"i will. let's go to the room first, okay?" you sighed in relief when toji did what you said without saying anything.

"mama.." toji's voice must've woke megumi up as he look at you with concerned eyes.

toji shrugged his shoulders to remove your hand on his shoulders as he kneeled infront of megumi.

"megumi, mama's not here anymore." toji said.

you were taken aback but megumi was more surprised than you were that he started crying.

he was pushing toji away from him as he cry.

"i hate you!" megumi yelled as he finally free himself from toji and hugged your leg.

"it's okay, 'gumi. go back to sleep." you said as you kneeled on megumi's level while he cried in your shirt.

toji stood up by himself as he entered your shared bedroom, closing the door with a force as you flinch in surprise.

"mama." megumi cried.

"it's fine now, he's just tired."

"you say that a lot of times." megumi said as he wiped his tears. "let's sleep together, mama." you look at your room door as you nod at megumi.

maybe toji needs to have his time alone for now.

you were humming a lullaby as you sing megumi to sleep.

you already sang the lullaby 3 times already and just like you, megumi couldn't sleep at all. he knew you were crying but he decided to not talk to you.

megumi pretended to be asleep as you finally stopped humming.

he heard you took a deep breath as you pulled his small body close to you.

"night night, 'gumi." he heard you whispered as he felt the dip on his bed beside him disappear.

megumi squinted his eyes and saw you walking out of his room as the door finally closed leaving him inside his now dark room.

megumi sat up from his bed as he silently followed you.

he was tiptoeing as he followed you to the kitchen.

you were sitting there, a glass of water between your hands as you stare at nothing.

you were too drained as you wiped the remaining tears your eyes could release.

megumi was lost in his thoughts and didn't hear you walking on his way, but before you could caught him, he showed himself to you.

"megumi?" you called him, slightly surprised at his presence. "what's wrong?"

"um water, mama." he said as he noticed you smile a bit before giving him a glass of water.

"all good?" you asked as megumi tucked you and himself on the blanket as he hug you. he nods in response as he sighed in content.

"mama, i will tell papa tomorrow to say sorry." he said.

"it's fine, 'gumi. he's just tired and mama understands." you said as you brushed megumi's hair with your fingers.

"okay, i love you mama."

"i love you too, now go back to sleep you have school tomorrow."

when megumi woke up the next morning, you were still sleeping beside him. he kissed your tear stained cheek as he went out to start his day.

he found his father on the kitchen counter, holding his head with his hand.

toji noticed megumi's presence as he immediately approached his son.

"where's your mama?" toji asked as he placed his hands on megumi's shoulders.

megumi noticed that his father was restless, but he deserved it for yelling at you last night.

"say sorry to mama, papa." megumi said.

"ha? where's she?"

"in my room. mama was crying because of you!" megumi yelled, he almost wanted to cry as he recalled your unreadable expression last night. "i saw mama drink so many medicine, papa." megumi muttered.

toji massaged his temples as he made his way to megumi's room with megumi following behind.

toji slowly opened the door and sighed in relief as he finally saw you.

megumi's small blanket couldn't even cover your whole body as toji approached you and gently carried you to the bed, transferring you to your shared room.

"let's not wake up mama for now." toji said as he pats megumi's head. "i'll drive you to school."

"papa." megumi called as he fixed the seatbelt of the front seat. toji hummed in response as he waited for the street lights to turn green. "do you hate mama?" megumi was hesitant at his question.

"no." toji responded plainly.

"but you always make mama cry." megumi mumbled. "you always say that she's not my mama and it's hurting her. i always see mama cry, i just stay quiet." toji ignored his son as he started driving.

toji went back home after sending megumi to school and you were still sleeping.

he sat on the bed as he tried to recall anything that has happened last night but he couldn't remember anything.

he felt you moved as he look at you. you were finally awake.

you saw him as you sit up from the bed.

"good morning." you greeted as you rubbed your eyes.

toji was waiting for you to say something about last night but you didn't and instead smiled at him as you stretched your body.

"megumi!" you exclaimed as you realized that you were supposed to send him to school.

"i already drove him to school."

"ah really? thank you." you said as you finally relaxed your body. "then, what do you want for breakfast?"

has it been always like this? toji asked himself as he watched you prepare breakfast.

is it always like this the next day when he came home every night he's drunk?

you were all smile but this was the first time toji noticed that it was forced. is it really always like this?

toji wasn't the one to get nervous but when he recalled the nights he came home drunk, he couldn't recall anything.

he must've said or did something hurtful to you that you do not wish to tell him the next morning.

megumi was always a witness to it but you always tell him to stay quiet.

"i'll go out later." you said as he snapped out of his thoughts.

"okay. want me to accompany you?" toji noticed the way you immediately declined his request and there, he exactly knew where you're headed.

toji watched you drink the hot chocolate in your mug.

"(name)." he called.

"mh?"

"i'm sorry. if i ever did something last night."

not just last night, every time he comes home drunk, toji would say something hurtful and you were even convinced that he means some of it.

the first time he came home drunk, he told you he couldn't love you the way you love him and that was fine for you. but second time he came home drunk, he said the words i love you, but it wasn't for you. he said i love you but not your name in it. the third night he came home drunk, he compared you to his wife saying that you couldn't replace the role of being megumi's mother and you know that.

megumi was there and he cried with you saying that he loves you and don't listen to what his father said to you. but then it happened again. he watch his father get mad at everything, including you, his mother who just wanted to help him get to bed. he knew his father wasn't in his right mind because he was drunk. he cried with you again that night.

megumi got used to seeing you hiding your sobs from him. he already saw you cry silently or sometimes you just sit there to stare at nothing. megumi once caught you breathing heavily on the bathroom and there was a blood on the sink. you told him that it was nothing and megumi was just a kid, of course he would believe you that it was just nothing.

but as megumi continues to grow, he's starting to think that his father hates you. he started observing the two of you and there was nothing wrong with your relationship, except when his father is drunk. don't get megumi wrong, he still loves her real mother but you were the one who raised him. he haven't seen his mother once, only in pictures.

"(name)?" you snapped out of your thoughts as you looked from your plate to toji.

"i said i'm sorry." he said.

"it's fine, you were drunk."

"so i did said something, huh." toji cursed under his breath as he heard you laugh.

"don't worry, it's not that deep."

it was. but remembering it will only hurt you more.

you've been having nightmares these days and you don't know if it's a sign for something. every dream you had was weird. there were times where toji would appear in your dreams. sometimes he hates you and sometimes, he loves you that you don't even want to wake up anymore.

you were currently sitting inside a hospital room as choso stood meters away from you.

"are you even taking a rest like i told you to?"

"yes."

"then why is your condition getting worse?" choso's words made you look at him, he was writing something on a paper.

"really?"

"really. (name), i am telling you this now, you'll suffer the consequences if you don't listen to me."

"but i do take rest."

"taking rest isn't enough, you should avoid your heart from getting tired. have you experienced panic attack these past few weeks?"

"n-no."

"you're lying."

"i'm not."

"your husband's worried, you know." you don't know why choso words made your heart clench, but you just hope his words were true.

"really?" you said as if you weren't convinced. choso looks at you and back at the paper as he sighed.

"i'll add another medicine, make sure to take it on time."

"why do we have to do these things?" you said as choso looked up from the paper to you.

"what do you mean?" choso asked as he raised his eyebrow at you.

"i mean, isn't better to just wait until it's over?" choso got silent, clearly surprised at the words you said. you noticed his reaction as you released a nervous laugh. "what am i even saying.." you said as you laughed at yourself.

"are you even hearing yourself?"

"i know what i said, choso. but don't worry, i was just joking."

"not a funny one. you just don't know it (name) but your husband's really worried."

"if you think your words would calm me, it's not working."

"huh?" you stood up from the seat before choso could say something.

"i guess we're already done here?" you said as choso nods.

"(name). take a proper rest."

you fell asleep the moment you got home and when you went downstairs, it was messy.

the television was on full volume and megumi was nowhere to be seen. toji was on the kitchen sleeping, there was a consumed bottle of liquor beside him.

"toji." you shake him to wake him up but it didn't work at first try so you did it again.

he was awake all of the sudden as he look around the kitchen. toji was drunk again as you thought of the things that happens every night he came home drunk. you hope he would just stay silent and wouldn't say anything anymore.

"let's get you to bed." you said as you helped him stand up but before you and toji reached the room, you fell on the floor as you entered the room. and the scene was so familiar to you.

"(name)." he called as you snapped out of the memory. "(nameee)." he called again.

"i'm here." you said.

"you're here?" he said as he touched your face as if he doesn't believe you. "you're really here." he said as he smiled and embraced you.

and you, you were taken aback, but you just let him.

"why did you leave me?" he said.

there he goes again.

"hey, look at me." he said as he held your cheeks with his thumb and pointer finger.

why does looking at him hurts.

"don't ever think that i don't love you, okay? i'm so grateful that you're here.." you were waiting for it. for him to call his wife's name but you didn't expect that he'll say yours. "if i started loving you, are you going to stay?" he said and you were speechless. "i'm sick of people leaving me." he mumbled as he embraced you. "i don't want you to leave. i promise, i'll love you like how you want it. i'll do it, i'll move on from her but in exchange, don't ever leave, okay? we'll heal you, you'll be fine."

what was he even talking about? it's not like your leaving or something, right?

you sighed, brushing off his words as you placed him on the bed.

"don't force yourself to love someone, toji. go to sleep, i'll look for megumi."

you were about to leave the house as you heard sobs coming from the house. and when you followed the sound, you were surprised to see megumi who tucked himself at a kitchen cabinet.

"mama!" he said as he embraced you.

"megumi, what are you doing inside the cabinet?"

"i'm hiding." he frowned as you wiped his tears.

"from who?" you said with a soft voice to calm him.

"mama.." megumi mumbled as his voice slightly cracked. "papa said you'll leave us."

"he said that?" you said as you kneeled into his level and he nods at your question. "he's lying." you said as megumi sighed in relief and embraced you once again.

"papa said you'll leave just like my real mama." megumi pulled away from the hug as he saw your surprised expression. "it's not true, right? mama."

your forced a smile as you pinched megumi's cheeks.

"of course, mama won't leave. never."

"toji, can you drive megumi to school today?" you muttered as you saw toji who was about to leave the room.

"what was that?" toji asked as he closed the door once again and approached you. you sit up from the bed and your vision started to spin.

"bring megumi to school." you said followed with a small cough.

"yeah sure." he hesitantly said.

"thanks." you mumbled as you lay back down on the bed.

"you okay?" toji asked as you felt him sit on the bed.

"i'm fine, must be a fever." you said but toji wasn't convinced and placed the back of his palm on your forehead to your neck and you were burning. toji was about to say something but he felt your cold hands on his.

"i'm fine, don't worry." you assured him with a smile as you let go of his hand and faced the other side. you were burning but your hands were too cold.

"i'll be back." toji said, immediately leaving the room as you heard the doorknob clicked.

toji was back after sending megumi to school. megumi insisted on seeing you before leaving but if he found out you're sick, toji knew megumi wouldn't want to go to school anymore. you weren't in the room when toji entered.

he started looking for you around the house and the kitchen was the last place he expected to see you. he sighed in relief when he saw you sleeping on the table with a glass of water in your right hand. toji's eybrows furrowed as he silently approached you. he can hear your soft snores as he went closer and closer.

"(name)?" he said in a whispered tone and you woke up within a second as you look around.

"oh?" was the only word you let out as you felt toji's hands on your shoulders. "i fell asleep."

"what are you doing here?" he said as you tried to stand up but you failed. you don't have the energy even to stand up.

"i got thirsty but i got tired before i even drink water." you said as you finally drink the glass of water.

"you should see a doctor." toji suggested.

"i'm finee." you said as you let toji guide you back to the room.

slowly, you sit from the bed as toji helped you to lay down. he placed a blanket above your body and went straight to the bathroom inside the room. he went back with a wet towel and a bucket of water as he started wiping your face with it.

"thank you." you whispered, even your throat was hurting. toji didn't respond as he continued on his task and after that, toji took another towel and placed it above your head.

"toji." you called as he stopped at the door he just opened.

'can you stay please?'

how badly you wanted to ask him to stay with you, but the dreams you had before started replaying in your mind. maybe you shouldn't. "it's nothing." you said as you pulled the blanket above your chin.

toji seemed to notice your distress as he silently closed the door and approached you again.

"i will be back. i'll just buy you food." he said as you covered your whole body with the blanket.

"okay." you said and you couldn't stop yourself from smiling.

do you have to be sick for toji to look out for you? maybe being sick is not that bad after all.

toji came back after five minutes, it's not that you're counting though, you were just bored.

"where did you go?" you asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"i'll just order, what do you want- i mean, you can't eat anything for now, let's just order a soup." toji looked at you as he heard you laugh at his words.

"there's no need, toji. it's not that hard to cook a soup." you said as you sit up from the bed, only for toji to push you back down on the bed as you let him place the blanket above you.

"don't be stubborn."

"toji, don't tell me you can't cook a soup." you said.

"it's not like that, okay? i just-" he paused for a moment before turning his back on you. "you seemed like you want a some company, that's why i am here." he said.

speechless, that's how you describe yourself now.

"is that so?" you said as you watch him scratch his head.

"i'll do this on my own way, okay?"

"okay. but let me, i know exactly where to order a good soup."

"this looks plain as hell." toji said as he opened the soup you ordered.

"but it's delicious, and why are you complaining?" you said as you raised your eyebrow at him. "i'm the one who's gonna eat it, not you!" you exclaimed as toji huffed in response.

toji started pouring the soup on a bowl before placing a chair beside the bed. and for a moment, you look at him and he looks at you.

"it's fine, i can do it myself." you said, trying to reach the bowl on his hand but he moved it slightly away from your reach. he hesitated for a moment before taking the spoon on his finger.

"ahh." he instructed.

"toji, this is embarrassing." you muttered as you move away from the spoon.

"how are you gonna get better if you're being stubborn?"

"just let me!!"

"tch, let me handle this." he said as you, again, tried to take the spoon from him but it was useless so you did what he said as he slowly placed the spoon with soup in your mouth.

it was quiet as toji continues to feed you, until it's the last spoon of the soup, you suddenly let out a cough as the soup dripped from the corner of your mouth and to the duvet.

"oh." you mumbled as toji reached out for the tissues. "sorry." you mumbled as you started to wipe the soup on the blanket and then the corner of your mouth. "we have to change blankets, i guess."

it was too sudden that you didn't have time to process everything when toji leaned close to you. you can feel his hot breath on your cheek as he pressed his lips on the corner of your lips, with him tasting the soup he just fed you.

you were sure you were losing your breath as he pulled away as if nothing happened.

"ah, sorry." he said as if he just didn't kiss you. he started to gather the paper bag of the soup earlier and took the blanket on your hands. "i'll get a new one." he said as he finally left the room.

why is he acting so normal when you're there sitting on the bed, trying to calm your speeding heart at the moments earlier.

you cursed under your breath as you hide your face with your palms.

why are you even embarrassed when kissing is normal to a married couple? it was normal but it was unusual for toji to act like that, you haven't even hold hands with him but a kiss? that's way more unexpected.

toji gently closed the door of the room as he leaned his weight on it.

"fuck." he muttered as he clutched the blanket on his hand.

seeing you wipe the soup on the blanket with that smile on your face urge toji to do that. he himself didn't expect it too. he cursed once again before proceeding to the task in hand.

you were startled when the door opens.

it was toji carrying a new blanket.

"i'll pick up megumi soon." he said.

"what about your work?"

"i took a day off." you hoped he did because you were sick. "you can't be left alone." he said as if he just read your mind.

"oh. thank you."

"not a problem. make sure to do the same when i got sick too." he joked, but it didn't fail to put a smile on your face.

"of course, i would love too! but i'm not saying that i want you to get sick!"

"mama!" you can hear megumi's voice from afar as he finally entered your room, throwing his lunchbox bag somewhere as he approached you.

"megumi, don't get to close." you said.

"mama! are you okay?"

"megumi, stop yelling." toji said as he entered the room, picking up megumi's lunchbox bag he threw minutes ago.

"you said mama is not sick!"

"megumi, don't yell at your papa." you said as megumi finally faced you, his face turning into a frown as he faced his father once again.

"i'm sorry, papa." he muttered.

toji was impressed that you could make megumi easily obey you. a thing he couldn't do when megumi was 3 years old.

"come on, change into your home clothes." toji said as he carried megumi like a sack of rice.

"i'll be back, mama!" he said before he and toji disappeared from your view and toji came back after a minute before closing the door with a sigh.

"come and rest." you said as you pat the empty space beside you.

toji sat beside you as the surroundings became quiet. he cleared his throat as he took the plushie megumi bought you and squeezed it.

"i'm sorry." he said.

"why?" you said, completely confused at the apology he just uttered.

"earlier. i didn't mean it."

oh.

"w-well, it's fine." you said as you conceal your stutter with a cough. "it's not like i'm complaining.."

"ha?"

"i mean- don't get the wrong idea!" you said, trying to find the right words. do you say it's okay, i liked it? or it's okay, i enjoyed it? "but.. did you regret it?" you asked, and the tension suddenly became heavy.

he was quiet and must be thinking about it.

"i did-" he paused, and that small pause sure made you nervous. "not?.." toji said in a questioning manner. you felt nervous and relieved at the same time.

"what about you?" he asked and you were more than confident at your answer.

"no. if i'm being honest, i really.. liked it." the last sentence were whispered.

"was that your first kiss?" he asked and you only hummed in response. it was true that toji was your first kiss, even if it was just a peck, his lips still touched yours.

you felt toji shift on the bed as he faced you.

"come closer." he said and you hesitated for a bit as you finally faced him and crawled a bit closer to him.

you were looking anywhere but his eyes as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. and then he's leaning close again.

"tell me to stop and i will." he mumbled, forcing you to look in his dark blue eyes.

"toji, are you sure about this?" you mumbled as you clutched your pajamas under the blanket. "don't do something you'll regret, toji."

he cuts you off by finally kissing you and it wasn't just a peck like you expected it.

he continued and deepened the kiss, until you're laying on the bed and when he finally pulled away, his hands was between your head as you clutch his clothes on his shoulders.

"toji-"

"shh.. i do not regret any of it."

"i need to confine you for 15 days, so i could monitor you properly."

"but i am resting!"

"yes you are, but it's not enough. it's better if it's being observed that you're taking a rest."

"is there another way?" you said as you clutch your phone in your hand. "i actually don't know how to tell my husband." you said as choso looked at you.

"but i already called him. he said he's on his way here."

"huh, what do you mean?" you said, completely surprised that it made you stand up from the chair. "he doesn't even know that i am sick." you said. "choso, i told you to keep it a secret right?"

"i'm sorry, he accused us of having an affair. i needed to." and then there was a knock on the door, and you knew who exactly it is. toji entered the room and you look away from him.

"take a sit, mr. fushiguro." choso said as he instructed him to sit beside you. you weren't looking at him but you can feel toji's burning gaze at you. choso left the room for a moment and being alone with toji became suffocating right now.

you suddenly felt his hand above yours. you thought he would judge or even get mad at you but you but he didn't.

"we'll talk later, okay?" he said as choso finally came back.

"15 days? if that's enough. as long as you treat my wife." toji said. he's doing all the talking while you sit there in silence and.. he really did call you his wife.

toji thanked choso after that as he held your hand and pulled you with him. you gave choso a last glance, a glance as if he just betrayed you and he was looking at you with his apologetic gaze, and there, you and toji left the hospital.

"when did you found out?" you asked.

"a few weeks ago. i followed you." toji said as the signal lights turned red and there was a faint sound of music in the background. "why didn't you tell me?" he asked and you hesitated for a moment as you sit up straight on the front seat.

"choso said it wasn't that life threatening, that's why i thought i don't have to tell anyone." you were mumbling that toji almost didn't understand your words.

"not life threatening but now you need to be confined for 15 days?" toji said and you went silent. "do you not trust me?" he suddenly asked and you immediately disagreed at his words.

"no!" you said. "sorry, i just don't want to be a burden and.. i thought you wouldn't care." you said, whispering the last sentence as you wait for his response. and he didn't respond anymore, until both of you reached the house.

"toji, i'm really sorry." you said and he finally looked at you.

"we're in this together, why would you think i wouldn't care?" he asked and you frowned.

"i'm sorry toji. i just didn't have enough courage to tell you because.. it's because of your wife."

"my wife?" he scoffed, raising his eyebrow as you nod.

"i don't know how to tell you because all you could think of is your wife!" you were frantic as you explain, trying not to say the wrong words because it might trigger him in some way as your emotions get the best of you. "i thought you wouldn't care because i'm not her." you said as you look down on the ground, trying to hold the tears that was eager to come out.

"but i do care, this is not about her. this is about you."

"you don't understand it, toji." you said.

"then i apologize if i came of that way, that you thought i wouldn't care because all i think of is my wife." toji said, emphasizing the words with sarcasm. "but you're my wife too, my wife now." he said, the sarcasm dropping on his voice.

"but i'm not the presence you've been wanting for, i know my place, toji. you reminded me a lot of times already." you said.

when did talking about your illness turned into fighting over his deceased wife?

toji sighed at your response and you took a step back when he stepped forward.

"i'm sorry, i want to be alone for now." you mumbled as you went to your shared room.

you and him were fine just last night? what happened now? it was all because of your stubbornness. it was obvious that toji was worried and cares for you but you're pushing him away.

you couldn't help it, you aren't used at him caring for you. you're mistaking his kindness into something, that maybe he's saying all of it out of pity or guilt.

that's right, now you realized why toji was weird the past few weeks. it's because he already found out and he just didn't tell you.

toji forced the door open with a key and he saw you sitting at the edge of the bed. you didn't even notice him until he sat beside you.

"i'm sorry." you said at the same time.

"sorry, i involved her again." you said as you felt toji's hand at your back.

"i didn't know you felt that way." he said.

"it's okay. i know how hard it is to move on from someone." you said as you held his free hand. "this will be the last time, toji." you said.

"what do you mean?" he asked.

"i'm not dying." you said with a laugh. "what i mean is this will be the last time i'll involve her. i finally realized it, toji. that no matter what i do, i still couldn't do anything for you to love me the way i love you." toji was about to say something but you cut him off. "but it's fine! like you said, we're married only in papers. i think i'm getting it now."

he was silent and you felt his touch disappear on your back.

"i just want to sort everything out before i stay in the hospital for 15 days." you mumbled as you sighed deeply. "sooo, friends then?" you said, the same exact words he told you before you two got married by force. but you saying it hit something in him, it made his chest ache.

he felt your hand take his and shake it, as if both of you just had an agreement. you didn't even wait for his reply as you finally sit up from the bed and started packing some clothes you'll be needing and he could only watch.

"don't worry, it'll only be 15 days. mr. fushiguro can still visit everyday but only around 10 AM to 5 PM." choso said as he glanced at your way.

"choso, did you know there was a theory that being hospitalized will only worsen your state. what if that happens to me?" you said.

"that's a lie, you're here not to worsen your state but to heal you."

"but what if? you know, everything is unexpected."

"why'd you even ask?"

"i don't know. i guess i'm ready?" you said and choso was looking at you with his judging expression. "just kidding." you said as you laugh.

"think of the people who cares for you. be strong for them because they're waiting for you to come home." choso said and megumi was the only person you could think of.

"my son." you said with a smile.

"yes, megumi's waiting for you so stop with your negative thoughts."

"ok, i will."

"mama!" your mood shifted as you heard megumi and he finally entered the room.

he was on his school uniform as he approached you, his upper body leaning on the bed as he tried to reach for you. you leaned close to him as megumi's small hands held you by your cheeks.

"mama, why are you here?" he asked as he frowned.

"mama needs to stay here for now but don't worry."

"why?"

"megumi, don't ask too many questions." toji said.

"it's fine." you said.

toji was watching you and his son interact.

megumi was still mad at him but megumi just didn't show you. toji mentally slapped himself as he recalled the happenings yesterday.

it was megumi frantically looking for you around the house.

megumi was running around the house as he call for you.

"where's mama?" he asked toji as he pants.

"she'll be staying at the hospital for now." toji said.

"why? is mama sick?" megumi said as he approached his father who's ignoring his question. "papa!"

"megumi, you won't understand. and yes mama is sick. now stop asking."

"why is mama sick!" megumi yelled, asking questions, eager to know the answers.

"she needs her heart to be healed. there, now go to your room megumi, you have school tomorrow."

"heart?" megumi muttered as he forced himself on his father's sight as toji sighed. "it's all your fault!" megumi yelled and toji ignored him. "you always make mama cry! now her heart is sad because of you! you always get mad at mama when you come home drunk!"

"what did you say?" toji said as he held megumi by his shoulders.

"i hate you! i wish it's you in the hospital not mama!" megumi said before he could even realize his words as toji let go of megumi. toji sat back on the couch and megumi ran out of the living room.

megumi cried to his sleep as he craved for your presence.

megumi was laying on top of you as you lull him to sleep.

"say sorry to your papa later, okay?" you said as megumi sniffed before nodding.

toji went to buy foods outside as megumi told you everything he said last night.

"it's not your papa's fault why i am here. remember that."

"mama get home soon, okay?"

"of course." you said as you pinch his nose. "stop crying now."

after some minutes, toji finally came back as you and megumi ate the food he bought.

megumi sat at the back seat as he hug his knees.

"i'm sorry, papa." he mumbled. "mama told me what i said is bad. i'm sorry." toji kept quiet as he drives.

he carried megumi who fell asleep at the back seat to his room, giving him a kiss on the forehead before leaving.

toji thought megumi was right, that maybe it was better that it was him in the hospital and not you. he didn't want to lose anyone anymore and toji hoped that he isn't too late.

he was blaming himself.

he already considered himself as a curse, because if he started to love someone, something bad will happen to them. worst is they disappear from his life.

is it a right choice to finally love you?

maybe not.

first week of your stay in hospital wasn't that boring as you thought it would be.

toji would visit you at the starting hours and will bring megumi from school at the last hour, though megumi always sleep on top of you since he wanted to be close to you.

toji would sit there in silence as you hum megumi a lullaby he once heard his son humming while doing his assignments.

toji knew megumi were attached to you but he didn't knew he's that attached to the point that megumi always cry every night, looking for you and will end up sleeping beside toji occupying the space you usually lay at.

"mama, i counted and it's 8." megumi said as he sat on the hospital bed beside you.

"that's right, 7 days more and mama can go home."

"but 7 days is too long." megumi said as he frowned.

"it's not if you stop focusing on it."

"okay, i will not!" you and megumi laughed at the same time and he kneeled towards you as he started wiping your under eyes with his thumb.

"mama, are you sleeping enough?" megumi asked.

"i am. it's just so boring here when i'm alone." you said as megumi embraced you.

"don't worry, mama. i will pray so you can go back home."

"thank you, 'gumi."

"mama." megumi whispered after a minute of silence as you hummed in response.

"papa is not sleeping well." megumi said as he look around as if someone was there to listen but it was just you and him since toji left when someone called him.

"why?" you asked.

"papa misses you, mama."

"he does?" you said as megumi frantically nods.

"he said it to me!" megumi exclaimed excitedly.

megumi was sitting on the kitchen stool as he stared at the cereal on the table.

he hates cereal, he loves the food you cook for him but since you weren't around, he needed to eat it for now.

"stop crying megumi. she'll be back soon." toji said as he drink his black coffee.

megumi wiped his tears as he sniffed.

"i miss mama." megumi mumbled followed by another sniff and toji sighed as he sat beside his son.

"i miss mama too but don't worry, okay? let's have faith and be strong for her too."

"okay. but papa if mama is back you better not make her heart sad again." megumi said as he waited for his father's response and minutes passed, he noticed his father was spacing out. "papa?"

"oh?" toji snapped out of his thoughts as he smiled at megumi. "of course."

"bye bye mama." megumi said as he look away from you and you knew he was holding his tears back.

"come here." you said as he slowly approached you. "don't cry, you'll be back tomorrow, right?" megumi nods as he wiped his eyes with his sleeves. "bye bye." you said as you kissed his forehead before he went back beside toji as he held toji's hand.

you made an eye contact with toji "see you?" you said and he only nod in response.

why are you expecting something when you and toji already settled everything as friends.

toji looked at you for the last time before he and megumi left the room, leaving you alone again.

what are you even expecting? it's not like he would do something.

you just hope that he did something though. maybe a kiss on your forehead? or just a simple words of affirmation, but nevermind.

you sighed as you hug your knees, you should stop thinking about something that'll hurt your own feelings, you didn't want to worsen your state more, do you?

as if it was a coincidence, choso entered the room with papers in his hand.

"hi." you greeted as choso entered the room.

"how are you feeling?"

"nice, i guess?"

"good job, there's a lot of progress." he said.

"wow really?!" you said excitedly.

"yes, you don't have to stay for another 7 days. did your husband left already?"

"they just left."

"call them back so you could finally go home with them."

"mama, do you hate papa?" megumi suddenly asked as he looked up at you, both of you laying on the couch with book in your hand.

"why are you asking that question? of course i don't."

"really? but why do you and papa always fight?"

"we aren't fighting, megumi. that nights you saw him getting mad was because he wasn't in his right mind and he was drunk."

"oh, okay." megumi said as he lay down back on your chest as you started playing with his hair again.

"i love your papa so much, 'gumi. more than i love myself." you whispered as you smile.

toji is currently helping you with the laundry since he couldn't force you enough to take a rest.

"take a rest." toji said for the nth time as you wait for the laundry to finish.

"i'll just finish this." you said.

toji sighed, another attempt to force you failed and he could only wait for you.

he was getting impatient as he stand just at the door. he couldn't leave you alone, he's worried something might happen if he lose sight of you.

the same lullaby you're humming for megumi can be heard at the background as he watch you attentively.

but a sudden gasp left your mouth, your humming getting interrupted as you felt him hug you from behind.

"just take a rest." toji said.

"i'm almost finished." you said, an unexplainable feeling stirring in your system. it was as if you're uncomfortable at the physical touch he just initiated.

weren't you craving for his touch? now that he did it, why are you complaining?

"come on. i'll finish that. listen to your doctor, will you?" toji said as he held you by the wrist and pulled you going to the room.

"do you know what you'll do?"

"yeah, i do the laundry before." he said.

"okay, let me know if you're done."

you've met toji before, back when you were in middle school. maybe he doesn't remember you but you remember him.

that time when someone was making fun of you, he involved himself and protected you. it wasn't really a fight, it was just him pushing them away that made them run away from the scene.

"thank you." you mumbled and when he looked back at you, you noticed a band aid on the side of his mouth that was already red in color. he only looked at you as he walked away. but before he could get away, you held him by his hand. he made an irritated expression that scared you for a moment as you stutter through your words.

"i have a band aid here." you said as you look at each pocket of your clothes until you found it in your hoodie. toji was watching with an unimpressed look as he stand awkwardly. he hissed in pain when you removed the band aid from his lip and replaced it with a new one.

"there." you said. he didn't even thanked you as he left and when toji saw his reflection on a random store, the design of the band aid was really, embarrassing.. a hello kitty design.

you were at the middle of college when your parents told you to stop. they had arranged a marriage for you that you didn't even want. you didn't want to stop college, you wanted to be free but they wouldn't let you. when you met your soon to be husband, you thought he was familiar but couldn't place your finger with. you were sure that you saw this man somewhere, you just couldn't recall where.

the scar on the side of his mouth made you curious as you stare at it and it suddenly made toji self-conscious.

"ah this scar?" he said as your eyes shifted from his scar to his eyes. you were on your first 'date' with toji. the one both of your parents said to get to know each other more.

"i got this from abuse." he said straightforwardly as you laugh nervously.

"um.. did it hurt?" you asked.

"no." he said as he placed his hand near his scar and as if something slapped you mentally, toji's current position reminded you of someone. that kid from the playground, the one who defended you from the bullies, the one that you gave the band aid you just bought because you accidentally scraped your knee, but you gave it to him. toji noticed you genuinely smile at him followed with a wholehearted laugh.

"what's wrong?" he asked and you only shake your head in response.

what a coincidence. who would've thought that the kid you kept on searching for, the reason why you stayed at the playground for who knows how long, hoping to see him again was being married to you? what an unexpected turn of your life.

getting to know each other means getting to know everything in your life. personal or not. it was as if that 'date' made your heart full and ended up being broken in the end. toji was the kid you've been looking for, for a long time now but then he suddenly told you that he was already married and they had a son together.

he clarified that he only accepted the marriage because he didn't have a choice. he told you he just didn't want to disobey his parents and megumi just need a presence of a mother.

"being friends will do." he said as you hesitantly nod.

you didn't even know why you suddenly remembered the past.

"(name), where did you put-" the words died in toji's throat as he opens the door, only to find you standing at one of his drawers, a folder in your hand as you continue to stare at the paper.

the folder was immediately snatched at your hands as toji placed it back on his drawer.

"that's–" you gasped.

"no, listen–" toji mentally cursed himself. he forgot to throw the divorce papers he requested back when it's the first month of your relationship. he forgot to throw it when he was cleaning his drawers the day you were at the hospital

you looked at him, and he hated that look in your face as another curse left his mind. what should he say? how should he explain it.

"well, if that's what you want."

"no." toji said as he moved close to you but your instinct told you to step back and you did. "that was, that wasn't.." he was stuttering through his words as he heard you sigh.

your heart was aching but you have to ease the pain. you didn't want to go back to the hospital again.

"it's fine, toji. you don't have to explain." you said as you sit at the edge of the bed.

"that was before. first month of us being married." toji explained and the small shift of your mood got unnoticed by him.

"is that so?" you said, looking up at him. "maybe i did something you didn't like to ask for divorce papers, huh." you chuckled as you recalled the first month of your marriage. it was megumi finally addressing you as his mother.

toji admitted that day that he didn't want megumi calling you 'mama' but he didn't want to wipe the genuine smile on his son's face so he just let him call you his mother.

"i'm sorry." he said followed by a strong curse.

"why?"

"fuck, i'm sorry. i didn't- that was before. i don't want a divorce now." toji said and the ache in your chest suddenly disappeared as you gave him a teasing grin.

"why? don't tell me mr. fushiguro is finally starting to love me." you joked and it was clearly just a joke, but the tension suddenly changed. he wasn't laughing at your words but was looking straight in your eyes with something in it.

"i'm just joking.." you said as toji finally looked away from you. he couldn't stop cursing mentally. he was lost in his thoughts and didn't feel you moving close to him and when you were about to place a hand on his shoulder, to simply get his attention, he suddenly held you by the wrist.

"toji, what's wrong?" you asked. he started gripping your wrist tightly and both of you were interrupted by the knock on the door.

"papa! lala wants to talk to you on the telephone!" megumi yelled as you look at the door but when you look back at toji, he suddenly leaned close to you, giving your lips a peck, as if it was to reassure you and suddenly he was at the door.

you were frozen in your spot as you watch him close the door, your hand flying to your lips and caress it and instead of an ache, your heart was beating with happiness.

it was one of those nights where toji couldn't sleep again. it happens when something is bugging his mind. he was staring at the ceiling with a deadpanned expression and your shifting caught his attention. both of you were surprised when both met each other's eyes.

it suddenly became awkward.

toji sat up from the bed as he leaned his back on the headboard. you stayed at your position as you stare at the ceiling. there are questions that wanted to be answered, but you think staying quiet would be the best option for now.

toji side glanced your figure, and there were space enough for another person to fit. has it always been like this? now toji is sure that it has been always like this.

toji doesn't know what to do as he continuously stare at you until you finally look at him. (his gaze was burning holes into you.)

there, you sat up from the bed too, doing what he did as you cleared your throat to ease some of the awkwardness that was around.

"can't sleep?" he asked.

"yeah, what about you?"

"can't sleep." you chuckled at his response as you bend your knees close to your chest. why is it starting to get cold?

"about the divorce-"

"i already told you that it was before.. i have no intention in pushing the divorce."

"why?" you asked and toji thinks he doesn't even know why. you were itching to know the reason when toji could've pushed through the divorce long ago.

"why? don't tell me mr. fushiguro is finally starting to love me." you recalled those words you said last morning and to your side, it was clearly just a joke so you removed that as one of the reasons why.

"was it because you found out i was sick?"

"no." he felt embarrassed on how quick he disagreed with your question. "i mean-"

"hm, what could be the reason.." you mumbled as if you're talking to yourself and toji couldn't help but observe you.

"it's best if we sleep for now." toji said as you hummed in response and started tucking yourself at the duvet, facing the wall. you weren't even surprised when you felt him pull you close to his chest. it was as if you're expecting him to do that. and he really did and there, you faced him as you wrapped your arms around his figure with your face hiding on his chest. toji inhaled your shampoo as he sighed in satisfaction.

"will this help you to sleep?" you asked as you look up at him. toji looked down at you with that stupid smirk on his face.

"i could ask you the same question." he said as he chuckled when you went back to hide your face on his chest.

"it will." you whispered but toji surely heared it clearly.

"then that goes the same for me."

"mama loves to cuddle." megumi said as he looked at toji's plain expression. megumi copied his father's expression after looking away from him, continuing the assignment he was doing.

"that's all?" toji said as megumi scoffed at him.

"you asked me what mama likes the most!" megumi argued as he fully face his father. "that's the most, mama loves cuddles!"

"okay okay, stop yelling." toji said when he heard your footsteps approaching them.

"good morning, mama!" megumi greeted as he ran towards you to hug you.

"good morning, megumi." you said, looking at toji as you nod at him.

"morning." he said as megumi pulled you on the table at the living room, showing his little drawing to you and toji.

"what's that?" you asked as megumi smiled.

"this is mama," megumi said as he pointed at you. "this is papa and this is 'gumi."

oh. it was a family drawing. your heart started beating through your ears as you look at megumi.

"my teacher said our assignment is to draw a family!" megumi exclaimed excitedly as he faced you and toji.

family? could you even consider yourself as one of their family? megumi could've drawn his real mother, why did he have to-

your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a hand on your back. you looked back and saw toji looking at you, it was different, the way his eyes calmed you. you awkwardly smiled at him as he pulled you close to his side while placing his other hand on megumi's shoulder.

"what's this?" toji asked as he pointed at a drawing which is color white and black.

"it's my dream dog! i want white and black." megumi said. your heart was racing as you feel the warmth of toji's palm on your side.

"why is mama carrying a stick?" toji asked as megumi huffed.

"so she can beat you when you hurt her again." megumi said as you laugh, finally joining in their conversation.

"that's cruel, megumi. i couldn't hurt your papa." you didn't even feel when toji already removed his hand on your side as he watch you and megumi, a smile making its way on his face.

"there.." you said as you dropped the pencil at the table.

"wow!" megumi exclaimed as you revealed some changes in his drawing.

"what are you holding, mama?" megumi asked.

"roses, mama loves roses." you said as you pat megumi's head.

"oh okay! then 'gumi loves roses too." megumi said as he grinned at you.

"but there are many types of roses." you said as you fixed megumi's disheveled shirt.

"really? what's your favorite among them, mama? megumi asked.

"the purple one!" you said as megumi nods at you.

"why not red, mama? red is famous one right?"

"yes, but i love purple more. because it means love at first sight." you said as you bump megumi's nose with your pointer finger.

you watch him look to the side as you follow his line of sight. he was looking at his father. you forgot that toji was even there as you look away with embarrassment. clearing his throat, toji stood up from the couch as he brushed his hair with his fingers.

"i'm gonna prepare for work." he said before leaving as megumi watch his father disappeared from his sight.

"mama, is papa your love at first sight?" megumi asked when his father wasn't around anymore. you smiled as you recalled the very first day you laid your eyes on him.

"he is." you said with admiration in your tone. "did you know i met your papa when he was a kid?" you said.

"really? what's he like?!" megumi asked with excitement as he leaned close to you.

"hm, he's still the same.. but he saved me from bullies." you said as megumi kept quiet, wanting to know more. "i scraped my knee but i gave my band aid to him because his lips were bleeding."

"is that why papa have a scar?"

"i guess?" you said as you ruffled megumi's hair. "it's just a secret between us, okay?" you whispered as megumi nods at you.

unbeknownst to you, he heard everything you told megumi as he recalled that day where he first got the scar on his lip, that hello kitty band aid. so it was you, huh.

toji left after eating breakfast and it was past lunch when you heard a knock on your front door.

but you weren't expecting visitors, who could it be?

you were surprised when you're met with, no one. but there was a bouquet of purple roses on your doorsteps.

you picked it up as you read the note.

'this is for you, i hope you like it.'

you bit your bottom lip to suppress the smile but it couldn't be helped.

you inhaled the scent of the roses as you finally went inside the house.

"thank you for the roses, toji." night finally approached as toji looked up from his laptop and to you.

"what roses?" he asked as you look at him in disbelief.

"that- you, weren't you the one-" toji suddenly laughed as he closed his laptop.

"i'm just kidding." he said as you glared at him.

"not funny!" you said, almost embarrassed when you stammered with your words just a minute ago.

"did you like it?" toji asked as he started preparing the duvet.

as if it was already planned, you move close to him as he finally covered both of your bodies with the duvet. "i love it."

toji's arms automatically made its way to wrap securely around you.

"how's your check up with choso?" toji asked as he switched off the lamp.

"he recommended me another medicine."

"huh? why? i thought you're getting better?" toji asked as you silently laugh at him.

"yes i am, it was just a vitamin, i mean."

"ah, is that so?"

"mhm."

"sleepy already?" toji asked in a teasing tone and you only further hide your face on his chest. "goodnight." he mumbled.

"i love you, toji." you mumbled against his chest. "you can say it back when you're ready." you said as you look up at him and toji lightly smiled at you.

"i'm almost there.." he mumbled.

"i can still wait.." you said as you looked at him with glint in your eyes. toji let you kiss him on the lips before you went back on hiding your face. he chuckled as he pulled you closer with his hand behind your head.

it was a random night, a random song that was being played on the radio can be heard as you sit down on the couch of the living room. the lights were all closed, the street light outside being the only source of light inside your home.

toji wasn't home yet and megumi is already sleeping in his room.

your head almost fell on the couch when the click of the door woke you up.

toji sighed as he closed the door.

"i'm home." he muttered, but didn't expect to see you approaching him in the dark.

"welcome back." you greeted as you took his bag on his hand, guiding him on the living room.

"have you eaten?" you asked.

"ye-"

"let's eat together, i'm hungry!" you exclaimed as you held him by his hand, guiding him to the kitchen. well maybe eating dinner for the second time wouldn't hurt. toji thought.

"megumi?" he asked.

"already sleeping." you replied with an almost sleepy voice as toji sighed.

"you didn't have to wait for me." he said as he stand beside your almost sleeping form. "let's get you to bed." toji said and carried you in a bridal style.

"toji.. let's sleep." you said as he unbuttoned his almost tight polo.

"yeah, i'll just changed my clothes."

"hurryy."

"did you drink?" toji asked as he lied beside you.

"no."

"why are you being clingy?" he asked.

"miss you." you mumbled, wrapping your arms on his figure. "did you miss me?" you asked and toji couldn't help but smell you.

you didn't even smell like alcohol.

"i'm not drunk, i'm just sleepy." you said as if you just read his mind.

"alright."

"you didn't answer me yet."

"i did." he said as you squealed in happiness.

"okay, good night. i love you." you mumbled.

toji gaze softened as he pulled you close to his chest.

"good night." i love you too.

it was late at night again and toji was still not home. megumi was sent back home by a school bus last afternoon.

you haven't eaten yet. you were waiting for toji so both of you could eat dinner at the same time again and the door clicked as you stood up from the couch.

"i'm home." toji mumbled.

"welcome back!" you exclaimed.

if yesterday you were sleepy, today you have a lot of energy. you took the bag from toji's hand as you walked ahead, only to be pulled back when toji held your wrist, placing a kiss on your forehead as he loosened his tie.

it sure caught you off guard as toji walked past you as if nothing happened.

"well, have you eaten?" you asked, almost stuttering.

"yes." he responded and you mentally frowned.

"okayy." you said as you help him remove his blazer.

"what about you?" he asked, but before you could answer, your stomach growling did it for you. embarrassing.

"well, i guess eating dinner for the second time wouldn't hurt, right?" he said.

"hi, welcome back.." you slowly said as you took toji's bag in your hand.

"i'm home." he muttered, walking past you but suddenly he went back and give your forehead a kiss before removing his watch.

"bad day?" you asked, helping him remove his blazer.

"yeah, i think i couldn't eat dinner with you tonight." he said with a frown.

"it's fine! you go and rest." you said, giving him a smile of reassurance.

toji frowned once again when you made your way to the kitchen. you were humming a song but you were stopped when you saw toji sitting at his usual spot. you blinked twice at him as he sighed.

"well, i got hungry." he said, not looking at your way.

"okay! i'll re-heat some more then." you exclaimed with a smile and toji couldn't help but mirror it.

"thank you for the food."

another bad day.

you noticed it the moment toji entered the house with a slumped shoulders.

"welcome back." you greeted, doing the same routine.

"i'm home." he responded, hooking an arm around you before placing a kiss on your.. lips? "what's dinner for today?" he asked as he started unbuttoning his polo. "(name)? what's wrong?" he asked.

"w-well, i made your favorite." you stammered as you made your way infront of him, helping him remove his blazer.

toji made his way first at the kitchen, taking a mug from the cabinet and it caught your attention.

"coffee?" you asked as he nods and suddenly, you placed a hand on his back.

"take a seat. i'll make you one." you said.

"i can do it myself."

"just let me take care of this, okay? you're tired from work." you said, turning on your back to make him a black coffee when you suddenly felt his weight behind you.

"thank you." he mumbled before going back to sit and it made you proud of yourself.

"welcom-" you were cut off when toji harshly kissed you, his hand flying at the back of your head as he pushed you, until your body collided with a wall. "toji-" you mumbled through his kisses as you pat his shoulder. "can't breathe!" you said as he finally pulled away, with him leaning his forehead on yours as both of you catch your breaths.

"bad day again?" you asked but he only clicked his tongue, continuing his task on you, the food you made being forgotten as he carried you and made his way on the bedroom, and also not forgetting to lock the door.

thank goodness it was saturday today.

your whole body was aching and toji was out of sight as you sat up from the bed.

"mama?" megumi's voice can be heard at the door as he knocked three times before opening, only to see you on the ground. "mama!" megumi exclaimed as he approached you. "papa help!" megumi yelled as he struggled to help you stand up.

"megumi look out for the food in the kitchen." toji said as megumi followed what he was instructed.

"it hurts." you said as toji easily carried you, placing you back on the bed.

"guess i went rough last night." he mocked.

"shut up!"

"i'm home." toji said as he entered the house. you smiled as you approached him.

"not a bad day anymore?" you joked as he laughed, hooking a hand around you as he placed a kiss on your lips. you were used to it now.

"yeah." he replied as both of you did the usual routine.

after the dinner, you were quiet. it was unusual for you to be silent.

"toji-"

"what's wrong?" he asked, cutting you off. the night you both shared was 2 weeks ago, you were supposed to have your period 2 days ago but none came.

"i'm late." you said, starting to get stressed. "i'm scared, what if i ended up being pregnant-"

"then that's good. megumi will have a playmate. is it not?"

"but-"

"it's okay." he said, taking your hand on his and you were surprised when he removed the wedding ring on your finger, placing a new one. "wear this from now on." he said, placing a new ring with a rare design on it.

"thank you.. i love it but, why?"

"i want to get married again." he said, looking straight in your eyes.

"but we're already married." you said as you frowned.

"but for real this time." he said with a smile. "you know, before, i wasn't-" he paused, he couldn't say it but you already understood what he was saying.

"i understand." you said as you laughed.

"will you marry me again?" he asked and you couldn't contain the big smile that was on your face.

"i would love too!" you said as you embraced him, with him spinning you around.

"i love you (name).. thank you for staying with me and megumi. thank you for not giving up on us.. on me." he said and you couldn't help but tear up.

finally. it's finally happening.

"i love you too." you responded with a shaky voice as he wiped your tears with his thumb before finally connecting his lips with yours.

it was worth all the wait.

#nana.gumi #toji fushiguro #toji fushigro x reader #toji x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk angst #toji x you #toji angst #toji fushiguro angst #megumi angst #fushiguro angst #jjk #toji smut

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fatuismooches · 4 months

Note

Could you please write about the Harbingers spending time with the reader on their birthdays? But maybe they send what they did with you as a letter to the Traveler like the in-game feature? :D

♡ 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬' 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 ♡

synopsis: The Traveler naturally expects mail in their inbox whenever the Harbingers' birthdays roll around. However, they didn't expect it to be so... lovey-dovey, and all about you.

includes: all harbingers w/ gn! reader

notes: I've finally finished it! I've been wanting to write something similar to my voice line post for a while, so here it is - the Harbingers sending birthday mail, except they're very down bad for you :3 Includes a letter, a photograph, and attached items with the letter! (Sorry to the Pulcinella fans, I was too lazy to write him in.)

“Home…”

Sender: Pierro

It is my birthday today. Normally, I would have continued on my day as usual, but [Name] had another idea in mind, going so far as to get the Tsaritsa herself to block the door to my office and then dragging me away. It seems they were planning this for a while… The last birthday I celebrated was the year Khaenri’ah fell. What purpose did today serve when my homeland and people were gone? As the years went on, it began to slip my mind and I nearly would have forgotten the date, were it not for [Name]’s question a while ago. I thought nothing of it, but I did not think [Name] would have taken this so seriously.

They knew I would enjoy anything so long as it was with them, yet they had the entire day planned out. Claiming that I needed some fresh air, we walked through the Snezhnayan streets, the normally biting frost a bit warmer than usual. Casual browsing at some new stores that opened up. [Name]’s attempt at starting a snowball fight. And lastly… grocery shopping.

When we got back, they wouldn’t let me help or look. But I could tell from the smell exactly what they were making. It turns out that they managed to make a dish from my home country. I am not sure how they managed to get a hold of this recipe… I must have mentioned it offhandedly and they improvised from there. Of course, it’s not an exact replica, but nonetheless, it tasted delicious. Just for a few minutes, I was taken back to my previous home. That home will never come back, but I have a new one now.

And now the day is almost over. Despite their best efforts to stay awake until the end of the day, they succumbed to their sleepiness, now lying on my lap. They were supposed to read me something they made, but perhaps I’ll find out what that was tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be back to normal again. But that is alright. I still do not believe I deserve a day like today but, if this is what [Name] desires, then I shall not refuse them again. I’ll look forward to the next birthday just as they do.

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Pierro and you in it. The Harbinger is seated at a table with a homemade dish in front of him. His giant coat and mask are placed off to the side, revealing scars from long ago. You’re glued to his side, trying to feed him by holding the spoon close to his mouth. Pierro is a grown man, the Traveler thinks, he does not need you to feed him… However, he looks quite content with this arrangement so the blonde won’t question it any further. In fact, he looks as if he’s right at home.

Attached Items:

Ancient Khaenri’ahn Dish [A meal unique to Khaneri’ah that has long been forgotten by the world. Although you clearly struggled to make it due to a lack of experience, even the Traveler can taste how much of your love was put into it.]

Khaenri’ahn Story Book [A book that contains numerous fairy tales and various stories originating from the lost nation, written by none other than Pierro himself, and illustrated by you. Apparently, it was born from you begging him to tell you stories from his home, and eventually, the Harbinger began to write them down so you could read them instead of bothering him so often. However, it made the problem worse as now you bother him to read them to you. How sweet.]

—

“A Day Off.”

Sender: Dottore

[Name] has convinced me to go back to Sumeru with them for a couple of days. I couldn’t care less about this day, but they were adamant about spending the whole day with me, and that they “will not be spending my birthday in a dark gloomy lab again.”

My research has regrettably halted for a bit, but I suppose this was not a bad idea. This was the first time in many years that either of us had stepped foot back into Sumeru - we had not been back since I was expelled from the Akademiya, besides my segments of course.

[Name] and I trekked the same path we used to walk during our studies at the Akademiya. It was a good spot for studying and conducting experiments without any disturbances - that was until they started following me around. They were a nuisance at first… but eventually, [Name] began to help me deconstruct a variety of machines, which was helpful. And then would laugh at me whenever I ended up breaking them.

Ever since I met them, [Name] has always said a lot of strange things, but their most recent comment was that they wanted to drink the blue liquid in the vial I carry around. They think it looks… tropical and vibrant. Of course, I refused them. But I had a feeling that if I didn’t provide them with it, they’d try and get it themselves. I was not interested in having to inject an antidote into them, so I came up with a solution.

I know that I am no chef, but this goes outside the realm of cooking. It wasn’t hard to create a sweet drink that would be to [Name]’s liking with the same color. They were more pleased than I thought and demanded that I make it for them more often. I do not care much for nourishment, but perhaps I’ll try my hand at it more often. They have insisted that I send you some, too. So, Traveler, is it to your liking as well? Even if it’s not, I do not care, so don’t bother telling me.

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Dottore and you in it. Despite how much the Traveler has explored Sumeru, they can’t seem to pinpoint the location where it was taken. It must really be a secret place, just for the two of you. Dottore’s mask is on his lap, revealing crimson eyes and scarred skin. You seem to have fallen asleep on his shoulder, as your eyes are closed, though your mouth seems to be agape, perhaps mumbling some nonsense in your sleep. Dottore’s expression is exasperated, but there is a certain fondness in his eyes, one that the Traveler can’t distinguish, or rather, they refuse to believe it. Did the Kamera have an editing function now? Because surely, the photograph must have been forged or something, because there was no way The Doctor could ever have such a tender look in his eyes…

Attached Items:

Strange Blue Concoction [Some kind of legitimate drink that’s the same color as the vial Dottore carries around. According to [Name], it is quite delicious, but would any sane person dare to try anything from The Doctor of all people…? Who knows, these two might be trying to poison the blonde.]

Assortment of Ruin Guard Parts [Parts from Ruin Guards Dottore created and assembled himself. A wide variety of parts are here, including Chaos Cores, Circuits, and Devices. Wait… they seem to all be damaged and broken. Hey, did Dottore just send the Traveler his useless parts?!]

—

“Care For A Show?”

Sender: Columbina

Hello dear Traveler! How are you?~ Today has been such a wonderful day. Why, you ask? Because it’s my birthday of course! ♪ The one day when I have the ability to drag my beloved [Name] wherever I want, with no resistance. Normally they protest for quite a bit, telling me I have a mountain of work to do but, they don’t need to worry their pretty little head about that. ♫ Is it that much of a crime to slack off to spend time with one’s beloved? But oh, that little routine of ours is something that I do cherish.

My dearest [Name] took me to a play. We were among the first to see it, as it was the opening day. You know, they always tell me that as a Harbinger, I should be more conscious of how I present myself. But is it really a problem to sit in their lap instead of my chair? It’s not like anyone can see us all the way up on the balcony seats, hmm? ♬ Moving on though~ The play was quite an interesting story.

It was of an angel who fell in love with a mere human, despite how taboo it was. When the two were caught, the angel had to decide - would she rather retain their purity and remain in the heavens or fall down, stripped of her divinity to be with her human? Well, if you want to see the ending, you’ll just have to come to Snezhnaya and watch it yourself. ♪ But do tell me Traveler, if you were in a situation like that, what would you choose? … I already know what my choice would be.

Ah, but that show was not even the best part! After that, [Name] put on their own performance for me, just the two of us. It was beautiful of course, the way they convey their choice of art is always worthy of praise. But, they always seem to seek my feedback and criticism… they told me they want to keep improving to make me even more pleased but, how many times do I need to explain to them that I already believe their craft is beautiful? Nevertheless, I do indulge them, if only to satisfy my love. Why don’t you take a look at one of our collaborations, Traveler? It is quite good if I do say so myself. ♫

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Columbina and you in it. The lighting in the theater is a bit dim, so your figures are a bit faded but, the Traveler can still make out the two of you. The two of you have separate chairs but, Columbina is practically spilling onto yours, her head comfortably resting against your chest. You seem as though this is normal for you, which it probably is. Wait, is Columbina sleeping? It seems she probably got bored during the intermission… That’s why you specifically chose your clothes to double as a blanket for your wife.

Attached Items:

Music Score [A music score composed by both you and Columbina. The two of you performed it perfectly together as a present to your wife. Of course, it’s bound to be mesmerizing considering Columbina’s participation. So hauntingly beautiful, that in fact, it might end your life before you get to the end… is that an exaggeration? Well, it seems like the Traveler will have to take that risk.]

Pair of Tickets [Tickets gifted to the Traveler and Paimon. There’s no name on it or any expiration date, so it can be used to watch a single play in Snezhnaya for free, with the best seats in-house, so pick carefully. These things are quite expensive, so don’t go losing them now! Otherwise, Columbina and [Name] might ban the traveling duo from the theater…]

—

“An Excellent Day.”

Sender: Capitano

Today is my birthday. However, I have never been very adept at celebrating this day. I realize that it is the norm to celebrate one’s birthday, but I have never felt the need to. Though, ever since I became a Harbinger, my recruits have always wished me well today. Unfortunately, when the bolder ones ask me what I have planned, I have nothing interesting to respond with, always prompting them to urge me to do something… In the hallways, I always hear conversations along the lines of even though being a Harbinger is busy, I deserve to do something nice on my birthday. But in reality, it does not bother me at all. Is it really that strange not to do anything on one’s birthday?

When [Name] found out how I normally spend my birthdays, they shared a similar sentiment and promised to make this one “the most eventful and fun and best one I’ve ever had.” They said that since this is our first year together, they need to make my birthday an excellent one. Although I tried to reassure them they needn’t try so hard for me, they were insistent. However, true to their word, I would say my birthday did end up being an excellent one.

One thing about [Name] is they never fail to teach me something new. In this case, they taught me what it means to celebrate a birthday, and I’d say I learned a lot. As stated by them, there is no exact or definite way to celebrate. It is what you make of it. And they, knowing the kind of man I was, chose the activities accordingly. (There were a few mishaps but everything went well for the most part. It is not customary to break a few knives while cutting cake, so I feared that I may have ruined things, but [Name] reassured me it was normal.)

So all in all, today was an excellent day. However, I am faced with a problem now. What should I do when [Name]’s birthday comes? Should I do the same thing they did for me? But would they think that is low effort and unoriginal? I do not wish to disappoint them. Traveler, do you have any ideas? Also, please ask Tartaglia for me as well. The last time I spoke to him, he tried to ask me for a duel.

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Capitano and you in it. The snowy forest terrain looks as picturesque as ever, but what really draws attention is the man and his lover in the middle. Mostly, the Harbinger who has a squirrel or two perched on him, not to mention the few birds that made their nest in the fluff of his coat. And even some cats? Where did they come from?! Well, it’s best not to question it. It’s rather endearing. Rather, one should question how silent and unmoving the Captain is in an effort to not disturb all the animals. Just ignore the deer in the background waiting for some attention too.

Attached Items:

How To Celebrate Your Birthday Pamphlet [A collaboration between Capitano’s Fan Club and [Name]. The fan club loves you immensely because you help to put their long-awaited plans into action. The numerous activities in this guide (blowing out the candles, feeding each other cake, gift giving, lots of affection, etc) were written out by the club and dutifully carried out by you. There were also birthday punches, but Capitano was confused as to why you were tickling him.]

Capitano and [Name]’s Picture Book [Don’t tell anyone this, but Capitano has a tendency to name all the creatures of the forest near his mansion. At first, he went there to train, but decided against it after seeing all the animals around there, because he doesn’t want to scare them away. What he did not expect was to befriend all of them… you came across him one day talking to them after searching for him. How can he tell them apart? Even you don’t know. But this book is dedicated to all of his animal friends, with pictures taken by you of course. So if the Traveler happens to visit Snezhnaya someday, make sure to be nice to these little guys!]

—

“They’re Annoying…”

Sender: Wanderer

It is that time of year again when my birthday rolls around. You know very well I do not care much for this day, but once again, there are always annoyances at my every turn… Both Lesser Lord Kusanali and [Name] always prove to be a thorn in my side on this day. In the past, I usually spent my birthdays under the sakura trees in Inazuma, visiting [Name]. But, things have changed now. I no longer am who I once was, and my relationship with [Name] is no longer the same. They have forgotten me, and our past together… but Lesser Lord Kusanali has forced us to interact again numerous times, leading to our current relationship. Lesser Lord Kusanali always pats my back, saying that time will lead us back to each other… how irritating.

Speaking of her being irritating, she decided to tell [Name] that today was my birthday, a horrible decision. Now, they’ve run all over Sumeru looking for me, until they finally found me in the House of Daena. Panting and gasping for air, all I could hear was them sincerely apologizing over and over for not knowing my birthday. They promised they’d get me a late birthday gift, even though I kept repeating that it was unnecessary. Unfortunately, it has always been hard to get things through their thick skull. All I know for sure is that Lesser Lord Kusanali definitely planned this and that she will tease me to no end the next time I see her…

Still, they dragged me through Sumeru City. According to them, they knew I wouldn’t like anything too fancy, so they brought me to an alleyway. Your typical textbook dark and narrow one. And at the end were… cats. Many of them. [Name] turned to me with a smile and said they bet I didn’t know about this secret kitty haven, and that it was a perfect gift for someone like me. I do wonder if Sumeru’s sun has made them crazy sometimes.

But, this birthday wasn’t as boring as I thought it’d be. So… that’s nice, I guess. Actually, Lesser Lord Kusanali had assigned me a paper to write. A paper on [Name], on my own birthday. She said that she wasn’t going to read or check it, but it was for my sake. How preposterous, right? How would anything like that help me?

But tonight… I feel as though I’ll make some progress on it.

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Wanderer and you in it. The puppet is at the top of the ladder in the House of Daena, searching for books (most likely forced to by the Dendro Archon), but your figure can be made out at the bottom. You seem to be waving and beckoning him to come down, so he can have a good time with you for his birthday. Wanderer doesn’t seem very excited about it, but… he will always indulge you, the person he can’t deny he loves. Hmm? Why is he using a ladder instead of his Anemo powers? Well, perhaps the puppet doesn’t like drawing attention to himself.

Attached Items:

Essay Concerning Inazuman Society and Politics [An essay Wanderer has written during his time spent in Vahumana. What, did the Traveler really think he’d send the essay he wrote about [Name]? However, Paimon couldn’t make it through the title page, and even the Traveler struggled through it. But, it seems to be your favorite essay of his, considering all the notes you made in it, not to mention the noodles you drew when you got bored… Wanderer probably scolded you for that but, it’s never in bad faith.]

Tricolor Dango [A plate of dango that [Name] brought for Wanderer as a treat. It seems that they are unaware of his dislike of sweet food… But the puppet did not want to hurt their feelings considering the thought and effort they put into his birthday, so he did not decline it.]

—

“A Lavish Tea Party.”

Sender: Sandrone

Unbeknownst to me, [Name] recently had a variety of sweets from Fontaine imported. It seemed like they tinkered with my bots once again, to get them on their side so I would remain in the dark… they can be such a hassle to deal with sometimes. However, this means that their skills are ever improving, as I’ve been improving my Automatons to be much more complex. As expected of my assistant. Speaking of, they’ve also imported some other things that I’ve been wanting for a while. Hopefully, they’re up to standard this time, or they’ll have to be returned. Ugh, I hate dealing with the Ninth whenever that happens…

Though back to the subject, it seems that [Name] has once again needlessly gone out of their way, since today is my date of birth. Although I don’t like being distracted from my research, and I see no need to waste time just because I happened to be born today, this break that [Name] has prepared for me isn’t too bad. I have not attended a proper tea party in far too long. The fools I have for agents can never set it up correctly.

[Name] is not someone who dresses up very often, but they always make the effort to match their attire with mine. Something that other people should learn from, but alas. Though, I wish they did it more often. Not even the most well-crafted doll could match their beauty. Have I told them that? No, they should be smart enough to figure that out by themselves.

Regardless, I must cut this letter short. After this, I want to work on an Automaton with [Name]. I have held off on it because they have expressed interest in it, and since we are together now, it is the perfect time to work on it. I was expecting them to get huffy at me working today, but it seems that they are pleased to work with me. I wonder why.

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Sandrone and you in it. A wide array of treats and sweets are plated on numerous platters, along with ceramic tea cups waiting to be filled with piping hot tea. The surrounding robots are also fashioned in a similar style as her, perfect attire for the tea party, holding additional trays of desserts. (Can these robots eat too?) You’re pouring your wife her favorite kind of tea as you’ve already set her plate, while she sits patiently with her hands folded. Despite Sandrone’s doll-like features, one can see a small smile on her face.

Attached Items:

Instructions For A Perfect Tea Party [Sandrone’s set of instructions as to how a perfect tea party is conducted. Some of the rules seem nonsensical and impossible to many, which is why no Fatui agent can ever live up to the Harbinger’s expectations, as she will not accept anything less than what she desires. However, you are the only person who has managed to fulfill all the rules to a tee, which is one of the reasons she greatly favors you. Sending this list to the Traveler and Paimon is also her way of saying they are never invited as they will never be able to fulfill the rules in a way that satisfies her… how rude!]

Clockwork Toy of Sandrone [A Harbinger toy from Leschots Clockwork Workshop in Fontaine. They seem to have dabbled in making toys of the Harbingers as they said they would, and who better to start with than the machinery genius herself? Of course, Sandrone can point out numerous flaws with the design and components, and probably criticized it heavily to you, but you still seem to love it, because it’s of her! Unfortunately, your wife doesn’t like that very much… why settle for something inferior when you could have it in much higher quality? So the Harbinger decided to make a toy of herself that lives up to her standard. The Traveler can have the faulty one…]

—

“Another Year Passes…”

Sender: La Signora

In the past, I used to be quite fond of birthdays. In Mondstadt, I would always celebrate it with him every year. But after he died, birthdays left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I never dared think about doing anything on this day ever again. How could I, when he was no longer by my side? But today is my birthday again, and I find myself happy. Why? Because of [Name], the person who taught me how to love again. Admittedly, I pushed away the idea at first. But after some more reflection, I decided it wouldn’t be fair to [Name]. The past is the past, and the present is the present. If [Name] wants to make me feel special on my birthday, then who am I to stop them?

And indeed they did pamper me. They always pamper me but, today it was much more than normal. Breakfast in bed, massages, hair brushing, helping me put on my clothes, opening doors for me, fancy dinner and wine after work. I don’t think there was a single moment where they weren’t trying to do something for me. It gave me a good chuckle, which made them embarrassed. But truly, it made me happy. I had… forgotten what it feels like to be cared for on my birthday. It’s a foreign feeling but, I hope that the foreignness eventually goes away after some time.

However, I must tell them that there’s no need to overexert themselves just because it is my birthday. Although I do enjoy the extra treatment, it does neither of us any good for them to fall asleep before the night is even over. But, that’s okay. There is always next year, yes?

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Signora and you in it. You are fast asleep on the Fair Lady’s lap, a peaceful expression on your face. A similar one is on Signora’s, as there is no one else around, and she can let her guard down around you. There are a few of her flame moths scattered around the room as well, a few on the two of you. As her blonde hair spills onto your face and body, one can only guess what she is thinking.

Attached Items:

Tea Break Pancakes [Despite Signora’s history with her home nation, it’s said that she still enjoys the cuisine from there. So, you like to cook her food from there whenever you can. It might not be as good as a professional’s but it provides her a taste of home. A taste of your love, which is her favorite flavor.]

Rose [It’s no secret that roses are Signora’s favorite flower. Beautiful yet thorny, alluring yet dangerous. There are many kinds of roses with all sorts of meanings in this world, but you two have been seen exchanging only one kind - a red one. Whatever could it mean?]

—

“Birthdays…”

Sender: Pantalone

When I was a child, birthdays did not mean much to me. After all, how could one focus on their date of birth when it seemed like life was full of nothing but curses and suffering? It was only another day of working to survive. But when I met [Name], they changed that. With them, the day began to have… meaning. Purpose. It wasn’t anything grand, but they made it special, distracting me from another day of poverty. Even with their meager earnings, they never failed to gift me something, even if it was of little to no value, or not the best quality… I cherished it. No one else had ever thought of me so much. When I look back, every time my birthday came around again, my love for them only grew more.

Now that we are adults, my only wish is to repay their kindness and spoil them with as many gifts as they deserve. However, there are a few issues with this. There are times I find myself more disappointed with the world than usual because it has yet to create something that would be a suitable gift that would be on par with my love for my dear [Name]. However, whenever my spouse gifts me something, their thoughtfulness never ceases to amaze me. How is it that they always manage to gift me something wonderful and touching? When I questioned them about this, they raised an eyebrow and gave me a strange look. It seems that I will not learn their secret anytime soon. How unfortunate.

Not to mention, dearest [Name] gets upset when I spend “ludicrous amounts of money” (their words) on them, especially on my birthday, so they’ve “forbidden” me from doing so today. They are rather persistent on this, and their long lectures and expressions are rather amusing, so I’ll indulge them… for now. Do you think they realize I’ll just spend double the amount the next day? Regardless, birthdays are always well spent with [Name], and I plan to enjoy this one fully, just as I have in the past because they are the one who makes my birthday a day worth celebrating.

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Pantalone and you in it. The two of you are taking a walk in Snezhnaya, browsing stores and the like. Even though it is Pantalone’s birthday, he seems insistent on trying to buy out a few stores for you once again… so in order to prevent him from doing that, you’ve hidden yourself in his coat, stopping him from walking properly. The Harbinger seems rather entertained by your antics and your head popping out of his coat… he should make you do this more often. It’s perfect for head pats.

Attached Items:

Pantalone’s Spare Change [As it is his birthday, Pantalone is feeling more generous than usual, so he is sending a bit of funds to the Traveler. There is no need for any repayment, take it as a symbol of the Fatui’s goodwill. (However, it would do good to proceed with caution… this is the Ninth, after all.) Opening it up, the duo expects to see an average amount of money, but instead are presented with a couple of million Mora… if this is what Pantalone is willing to send to the Traveler, how much does he spend on [Name]?! Paimon doesn’t want to imagine the number!]

[Name]’s Guide to Gift Giving [A piece written by you to detail how you always choose the best gift for Pantalone, unbeknownst to your husband. Opening it up, the Traveler is very curious as to how you manage to win over the Harbinger every time, a man who has everything he could possibly want at his fingertips. But instead, only one sentence is written on the paper - “I don’t know how I do it either.”]

—

“Appreciation.”

Sender: Arlecchino

Birthdays were not very much celebrated in the House of Hearth, especially when the former Knave was around. However, that changed when [Name] came along. Years ago, I still remember when they gifted Lynette her first tea cup set. Freminet, a collection of spare parts that he ended up using to make another clockwork toy. And probably the biggest hassle… gifting little Lyney a white rabbit. However, I do appreciate my lover’s efforts. The children always look forward to their birthdays much more now, some even going as far as to drop hints about their desired gift and give puppy eyes to [Name] when the time rolls around. I have to remind my children not to get greedy, and to be grateful for what they already have…

I also remember the first birthday they gifted me something as well. A part of me expected it, considering the way they behaved, but still, it was an… unfamiliar feeling, to be gifted something. And, it was also the day little Lyney and Lynette presented their first amateur magic show to me. Of course, they had much to improve on, but looking back it was a suitable birthday gift, considering how much I’ve seen the two grow now. Needless to say, I appreciate [Name] very much, for what they have given me and my children.

My birthday has come once more, and [Name] is celebrating it as they always feel the need to. Really, even if they did nothing, I would still appreciate it, considering all they’ve done. The sweets they gathered this time were exceptional, and we had a lovely chat, before taking a walk through Fontaine. They say that the flowers that grow in the wild are always the prettiest, especially the Rainbow Roses.

Ah, last of all, if you could do me a favor, that would be greatly appreciated. You have been in Fontaine for a while now, yes? It would be a great help to me if you could point me to some good operas. [Name] and I have watched many in Snezhnaya, however, we don’t often have the chance to watch any in Fontaine, with our work and all. Thank you. And please, do not bore me or waste my time.

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Arlecchino and you in it. You two are sitting in a field in Fontaine somewhere, with Rainbow Roses to the side. One of them has been tucked into the Harbinger’s hair, while you seem to be focusing on creating… a flower crown? Despite the pinkness of the rose greatly contrasting with Arlecchino’s whole dark red, black, and white look, she seems to not mind your antics and waits patiently for you to complete your work of art. Of course, as a Fontainian, she knows very well what Rainbow Roses symbolize, and won’t turn down the physical manifestation of your feelings.

Attached Items:

List of Yummy Hidden Gems [A list of great places to buy sweets from in Fontaine, courtesy of [Name], passed on by Arlecchino. Sure, Hotel Debord and Café Lutece do have some excellent sweets, but there are many hidden restaurants and bakeries that provide delicious treats as well! Do stop by and give them a try. Arlecchino favors many of their products. If one needs a similar list for the other nations, do tell.]

Slice of Birthday Cake [An exquisite slice of cake cut from Arlecchino’s birthday cake. She doesn’t care much for the tradition, but [Name] always buys one anyway as an excuse to treat the children from the House to something nice. You know you shouldn’t spoil them so much, but you can’t help it!]

—

“Splash!”

Sender: Tartaglia

Hey comrade! How have you been? Sorry if my handwriting isn’t the best. I sparred with [Name] for my birthday, and they really roughed me up. Not that I mind, I asked them to go all out. Normally they don’t like fighting with me, because they always insist they don’t like hurting me, but they couldn’t say no to me today. You know, I would like to see the two of you fight. It would be an exhilarating experience.

But anyway, after they patched me up, we took a dive in Fontaine’s waters! You know, whenever I visit Liyue, we often go to cool off in Yaoguang Shoal, but Fontaine’s oceans are so much different. The scenery, the terrain, the greenery, the wildlife… good thing I bought them a waterproof Kamera. Speaking of wildlife, [Name] and I befriended a blubberbeast. [Name] instantly fell in love with the creature, and I feel as though they gave a bit too much attention to it, but, seeing them smile is the best gift I could ever ask for. Maybe I should gift them a plushie of it? However, it is a bit amusing that something that looks as defenseless as that could pack such a punch!

Did you know this, Traveler? Apparently, Romaritime Flowers represent loyalty. [Name] gifted me a bouquet which I was initially confused about since I usually give them flowers instead. But after some quick research, these flowers mean unbreaking oaths. It was a bit ironic really, for I should have gifted them instead as I always swore to be loyal to them, my family, and the Tsaritsa, but it was a wonderful gift. Not to mention the delicious meal they prepared. They’ve been busy researching the best Fontaine recipes for me, so I could make them for Teucer and the others back home, but maybe I should just drag them to Snezhnaya so they could do it instead… I never leave anything but empty plates whenever [Name] cooks for me, but they’ve packaged some for you too, Traveler!

Next time we fight at the Golden House, I’ll bring [Name] along too. Do you think you can hold your own against both of us at the same time?

Attached Photograph:

A picture is included with the letter that has Childe and you in it. You two are under the sea, with a Blubberbeast between the two of you. The creature is nudging you while Childe looks on amused. It seems that it’s been begging for some more attention, food, and head pats. Maybe some tummy rubs too. Apparently, you named it Big Cutie, because well… it’s a big cutie! Unfortunately, it seems to have a little bit of a grudge against the Harbinger because he accidentally attacked it.

Attached Items:

[Name]’s Special Macarons [Rainbow Macarons but with a special twist from [Name]. On the top and bottom of the sweet treat are… faces? Very detailed ones too, with colored hair and eyes! Ah, the faces are none other than [Name], Childe, Teucer, and all of his other siblings! Oh, and macarons of Traveler and Paimon were made as well, how kind! Childe says they’re quite delicious, and he is a great cook, so they must be.]

Freshly Caught Fish [Fish caught by Childe. It seems that the two lovers also went fishing after diving a bit, as one knows how much Childe loves to fish. Sadly, your fishing skills still pale in comparison compared to his and you barely caught anything… That’s alright though! No matter how long it takes, he’ll always happily help you hone your skills!]

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mayordoi · 8 months

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Happy birthday to the number one princess in the world!! 💖

~from her biggest fans :)

ramble of my scattered thoughts on the piece under cut as usual cuz i love talking 😋

This has been an idea I've been cookin for a while, and it was so cluttered and unlike any other ensemble piece I've made... and I decided I oughta do it anyway. I love Miku, I love Vocaloid, and I wanted to do something really ambitious and crazy for her anniversary. Crazy that she's turning her "canon" age this year TwT

I had the idea floating around since like, May...? And then finally started acting on it around June 18. I'm terrible with deadlines, obvious with how I can never make a silly birthday post in time, so I started wayyyy ahead to make sure I have some room to be lazy lol, especially with an idea as ambitious as this.

This was finished on July 12! So I had to sit on this for an annoying amount of time. Very difficult for someone like me who just wants to talk about everything I'm working on to the masses. But at the very least, that gave me the time to work on the draft for this post.

~~~

Here's some ~behind the scenes~ scribbles leading up to the finished piece!

Left is the chicken scratch plan i made in my handy dandy notebook (whenever things are getting real and ambitious, i always made a rough ROUGH plan in there. Usually I'd do a rough pass of the full thing, but this was too complicated for me to do traditionally. I majorly benefited from digital tools to make this possible). CyberDiva and CyberSongman were considered, but I ended up cutting them cuz I just didn't feel like drawing them sorry-- (just pretend they're off to the side. They gave Ruby and Clara the pizza lol). Right is the "final" completed sketch (before I decided to include Chika mid-way through coloring and VY1 and VY2 near the finish line). I started by drawing the main "groups" separated on a different canvas so I can plop them into the main canvas for easy rearranging and transforming. However I got lazy and ended up drawing everyone in the bottom right corner directly on the canvas since I liked seeing the big picture of everyone's positions. Y'know.

Almost excluded Chika! But I like her design so much that I just felt like including her last-minute. You win this time, Chika fans. VY1 and VY2 were very close to being cut! I added them when I began doing the banner and thought "eh why not". I figured their non-human designs would be pretty easy to include pushed back in the bg. Ik VY1 is more commonly associated with the fan design, but I referenced the hairpin cuz it was simpler and the fan looked very annoying to draw 😭

Sorry to the fans of many Vocaloids I had to cut because this composition was insane enough as is. I promise I wanted to include fellas like CUL, LUMi and Sachiko 😭 I will admit I was a little biased on who I wanted to include over others. Like, I don't normally care for Bruno and Clara, but I wanted to get some more international 'loids in the mix. Also wanted to stick in the realm of official designs and not fan-designs since, as much as I can appreciate those, are just a whole "wait who is that guy supposed to be" situation I didn't wanna deal with. I also did wanna include even more character references through the balloons, but they ended up being kind of ugly and overcomplicated the BG :,) (Oh, and while this was originally planned to be a Vocaloid-only piece, I did end up including Teto, Neru, and Haku 'cuz those are Miku's besties dude!!! They may not be Officially in the club but they're her girls and it would be criminal to not invite them to her birthday).

Anyway, this project marks the first time I've drawn a lot of Vocaloids. Lily, Piko, Rana, Yuki, Yukari, Miki, Maika, and many more lol. All of 'em I've heard or seen in passing, but now I actually drew them, and some have really cool and fun designs!! I got into a habit of drawing Merli after this since I just love her design for example. And I'll probably be drawing more lol!!

Oh and the last thing I'll add for now!! The cake is indeed made up of various song references!! I wanted to reference the "big four" producers, just absolute icons in Vocaloid history. The pink/black checkerboard is "World is Mine" (Ryo), the crescents on the side is "Rolling Girl" (Wowaka), the smiley faces is "Matryoshka" (Hachi), and the three hearts on the side is "The Vampire" (DECO*27, which is sort of a symbol of his whole Mannequin album tbh). I know "The Vampire" is a bit modern but I couldn't think of anything else off the top of my head. I'm a fake DECO fan I know 😔 "Matryoshka" was originally going to be referenced in the colors of the candles but believe me it looked like shit so I just went for something else last minute 😭

That's all I have to say!!! Hope you didn't mind the text wall if you made it here. I hope you like it as much as I do!!!! Happy freakin' birthday Miku!!!!

I have to deal with tagging all these characters now for my page,,, in the drafts my tags got cut off after a certain point so I think I'm massively breaching the tag limit 😭 um... I'll figure that out later...

not losing sleep that i can't tag everyone, even for page organization purposes because some characters have pretty generic names and some are a little hard to see in full yknow. If you're one of those people who tag every character in the art piece you reblog... I am very sorry.

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puripurin · 3 months

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PLEASEEE I NEEEEEEED MORE ARTIST YAN ( more specifically a detailed scene of the cum room<333)

also can I claim shark anon?

[Artist!Yandere introduction post]

— You slowly blinked open your eyes, and sleep wanted to take over your mind until you realize the situation you were in after recalling that you got hit in the head.

You looked around the room, only to realize it was the room you last stepped into, which was, unfortunately, that disgusting room. Now that you had been bound to a chair in the room, you had a chance to take in this horrid scenery.

Although you were disgusted, you were impressed because artist!yan excelled in many different mediums of art and was top of the class in his first year. Drawings such as charcoal, mixed-media— wait a second— is that a scuplute that was two times your height?? When did that happen??? This is one of few times you put your brain to good use because you never even recall artist!yan asking you to be a model for a sculpture.

Just then, the door opened, and finally, you saw the perpetrator. He gasped before putting down the food tray he held in his hands and shuffling towards you.

"My love!! I am so sorry! You weren't supposed to see this room!!" He weeped pathetically as he dramatically fell close to your knees and rested his head on your lap, knowing that you couldn't even move due to how tight the ropes were.

"Um, was this necessary??" You stared at him in disgust. He choked back a fake sob and turned his head away.

"Yes! Only you deserve to be drawn and scuplt—"

"I MEANT THE DRIED UP CUM STAINS IDIOT!"

Hoi. I'm not sure if you wanted exactly this, but i was slightly drowsy while reading it. Yea, you can be shark anon. I'm still kinda new to tumblr, so imma just gonna assume that i can identify by emojis n shii. Also yall really like yan artist that much.

😶 yall like having a dedicated cum room from a yan? I thought i was makin shit up cus i was just writing until i got to a point where i thought it would be okay to finish at. ngl i had no idea what the intro post to artist yan would end like.

The only reason why i did artist yan was bcos of one of those "Kings Choice" (i think) ads 💀💀💀💀 pls i cant with myself sometimes. Anyways wnough rabling im too tired for this shit.

#yandere #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere artist

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pedros-frozen-pizza · 28 days

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Don't Tell Sarah

Pairing: fem!reader x no outbreak!joel miller

Description: You're visiting family on your spring break when you make an unexpected reunion with your best friend's dad, Joel.

Warnings: MINORS DNI! This post is 18+

No outbreak, age gap (reader in early 20's, Joel in early 50's), unprotected p in v, pet names (no use of y/n), fingering, cream pie, squirting

Word Count: 3k

As your plane lands, you quickly switch your phone off of airplane mode to check your texts. Your brother is supposed to pick you up, but he always forgets these things.

‘Are you here??’, you quickly text him as you start to gather your belongings.

Before you stand up, you remember to text your best friend and roommate, Sarah, that you've made it safely.

You make your way off the plane and into the terminal to head towards baggage claim. When you finally exit the airport, you see him, your brother who you haven't seen in months. He somehow grew a beard.

“Jeez, took you long enough to get out here,” he pokes. “They made me move my car twice.” You give him a quick side hug before he takes your bag and loads it into his trunk.

The drive was long, between the Austin Airport and your childhood home, but it was nice to catch up on all the family drama you missed while away at college. It's your junior year, and this is the first time you've come back to see your family. Most of your classmates are on beaches in Miami, or taking breaks in Italy, but this is how you chose to spend your spring break.

A text from Sarah snaps you away from the conversation.

‘So glad you're safe! When you have time, don't forget to bring that gift to my dad!’

You already almost forgot. Sarah had crafted a mug for her father, detailed with a large owl on the side of it. She was a talented artist, and was excited to gift this to her father when she saw him next. Unfortunately, she had to stay behind this time to finish up a project for her internship.

‘I'll make sure he gets it!’ you type back and set your phone down.

It had been years since you had seen Joel. You grew up with Sarah as your best friend, with many late nights at her house. It'll be good to see him again. Just as good as seeing your own family even.

You make it back to your family's house and exchange greetings with your parents. Your mom has planned out your entire week while you're there. Sunday brunch, dinner with extended family on Tuesday, and so forth. It'll be good to reconnect and spend time together after being apart for so long.

Monday rolls around, and your mom only had plans for the morning. It was getting to be late in the afternoon when you decide to head over to Joel's.

“Can I borrow your car?” you ask your brother. “I have to go bring a gift over to Joel from Sarah.”

He shrugs and throws the keys to you. “Don't wreck it,” he jokes as you head out the door.

Joel's house wasn't far from your family's, but with rush hour starting, the traffic was awful. When you finally make it, you find yourself nervously walking up the steps. You've never felt this flustered around him before. Perhaps it's just that it's been so long? That must be it.

You knock a few times before he answers.

“No! Is that really you?” he exclaims when the door finally opens. “Sarah said you'd be by this week, and I'm so glad she was right! Look how beautiful you are.” He gives your body a quick scan, but you can't quite tell his intentions with it. His hair had grayed out a bit, but otherwise really has not aged at all since you last saw him.

“I just got off work and was about to shower,” he starts. “But if you want to come have a seat, I'll just be 10 minutes.”

You make your way into their front sitting room. Everything is exactly as you remember it from your childhood. Sure, he's gotten new furniture, but the pictures and decorations are exactly as Sarah had left them.

He walks back down the stairs with a clean pair of jeans and a dark gray t shirt on. His hair messy from a quick towel dry, and his scent strong from his woodsy cologne, you forget for a split second that he's your friend's dad; no having thoughts like this about him!

“You want some coffee?” He gestures towards the kitchen.

Of course, how did you already forget what you were here for? “Coffee sounds great!” You follow him into the kitchen. “Actually, I'm here because I have a gift from Sarah for you.” You beam, and pull the box holding the mug from your bag. “She made it and was really excited for you to have it.”

He opens the box and pulls out the hand-crafted mug. “That girl,” he starts, but trails off. He smiles as he turns it around in his hands, almost as if he's inspecting every angle. “We should get her on the phone.” He states after a moment.

You pull out your phone and dial her number to video chat. “Guess what?” you ask, quizitively when she answers. “He loves it!” You face the phone over to him. The three of you talk for a while, sipping cup after cup of coffee until it's nearly dark outside.

“Well,” you sigh. “I shouldn't keep you any longer.” You start to get your bag.

“It has gotten pretty late,” Joel shrugs. “Did you want to stay for dinner? Since it's late, I was thinking I'd just order delivery.”

You take a moment to actually consider, before deciding to stay. You quickly text your mom. ‘Hey I'm staying for dinner at Joel's. I'll be back later tonight :)’

After a few moments, he sets down his phone and says, “Well, delivery said it'll be here in 45 minutes. Wanna watch a movie?”

You nod and follow into the living room. He puts on some action movie. You haven't seen it before, but it seems extremely predictable in what will happen next. As the movie goes on, you find yourself inching closer to him. When you're close enough, you lean your head on his shoulder. He jolts a little at this motion, and turns slightly to face you. You have know idea what's gotten into you, you've never had feelings like this towards Joel. He just… the way he looked over you when you first got here, and how fresh he was after the shower. Ugh, and how he smells now. You can hardly contain yourself. You lean your face towards him and to your surprise, he does the same. Before you even have the chance to think, you kiss him. You jump back a little bit, and lock into the most uncertain eye contact you've ever experienced.

You start to stutter. “I don't… I didn't… I… I’m sorry, I didnt…” But before you can get any real sentence out, he kisses you again. This time with more passion. You kiss him back, and don't stop this time. Your tongue slides into his mouth, and his into yours. He tastes so good. At this, you decide to swing yourself up onto his lap, straddling his legs. Oh God, he’s so hard. Without even questioning what sort of boundaries should be in place, you start to grind down on him just ever so slightly.

“Fuck,” he whispers, then let's out a grown. He grabs both sides of your waist and gently bucks his hips up into you. He slows down after this, pulls back, and whispers, “Are you okay with this? I don't want to cross any boundaries.”

Oh God, what would Sarah think? Never mind about her right now. “Yes,” you breathe out, nodding your head. “Yes, please Joel,” you manage to get out before starting to slowly grind on him again.

He feels his way up and down your body. Grazing your back with his palms, circling around to grip onto your waist, neck and, jaw at times. After a moment of this, you guide his hand up under your shirt, and slip it off over your head. He plays around with your tits through your bra, before reaching around and unclasping it in the back. You're sooo glad you matched your bra with your thong today. He groans at the sight of your newly freed tits, your nipples hard against the cool air. He pinches them first before going immediately to suck on them. He sucks and pinches and bites until each breast has been thoroughly loved. Still grinding on his hard dick through his jeans, you reach your hand down and ask, “Can I take this out, Joel?”.

He considers for just a moment before nodding. “You sure you want this baby?” he asks, genuinely.

“Yes Joel, fuck, I want it so bad,” you manage to stutter out.

“Okay baby girl, I’ll give you this dick, but there's only one rule.” he stops completely, waiting for your full attention. “You don’t ever tell Sarah.”

Fuck, you have to stop thinking about Sarah. She can't know, it would break her. You nod your head, “I promise, I won't tell her,” you whine. He grabs onto your hair at the back of your head, and pulls you down closer to his face.

“Say, ‘I promise Sarah will never find out about this, Joel’” he says into your ear. You repeat the words back to him. “Good girl,” he spits out before letting go of you.

He kisses you again, more sloppy this time, and slowly starts to un-button his jeans. Your hands immediately go to help, and you finally get a feel of his hard cock. It’s so fucking huge, so thick and long. You pull it out completely and immediately start feeling it up and down.

“Hm-mm,” he shakes his head. “You take these off first.” He gestures to the leggings you had thrown on to come over here. You oblige, remove yourself from his lap, and hook your thumbs into your own waistband. You slowly slide them down until they reach your ankles, and kick them off to the side. You stand there for a moment, Joel observing you, the only light from the movie still playing behind you. “Turn around for me,” he commands. As soon as you do so, he grabs onto your ass, gently squeezing, then pulls you in closer to him. He kisses your ass cheeks, then your thighs, then wraps his arm around your waist and slowly goes to feel your mound. His large hand gives it a squeeze before yanking your thong down until it falls to the floor.

“You're such a little slut,” he let's out a short laugh. “Really gonna let your best friend's dad fuck you.”

You giggle slightly at this, but really, he needs to stop reminding you that he's Sarah's dad. She would kill you if she ever found out. “Joooel,” you playfully groan. At this, he slaps your ass, hard. You jolt a little bit, but allow him to continue. He wraps his arm around the front of you again, hand going straight to your cunt. He sits on the edge of the couch, holding you close to him. His finger slides up and down your folds, making you jump when he grazes over your clit.

“You like that, do you?” he teases.

You nod your head aggressively and let out a quick “mm-hmmm, give me more Joel.”

“Oh I'll give you more,” he says with a tone you've never heard in his voice. He sounds possessive, so dominant. He starts circling around your clit with his fingers. “Fuck, I love your wet pussy,” he groans. “Let me taste it.”

He doesn't wait for you to give any permission before he spins you around and immediately starts licking through your folds. Kissing and sucking on your clit, and moving down to fuck you with his tongue. Fuck, it feels so good. You start to have a hard time standing up. Your vision starts to blur, fuck, you're so close to finishing. “Fuck… Joel!” You moan loudly, unable to contain yourself. “I'm gonna… I'm!” But before you can come, he completely lets off of you and pulls you down to straddle his lap again. “Fuck” you scream. You were so fucking close.

“Not yet, baby girl,” he jides. “Not yet, not till I say you can.” He let's out a devilish laugh at you.

Before you can even protest, he slides two fingers up into you. He slides them in and out several times before going right to your spongy G spot. He plays around for a moment before finally saying “Now you're gonna ride my dick baby, you got it? Be a good girl for daddy?”

You moan and nod your head. He pulls his fingers out of you and lifts up his massive cock. Lining it up to your entrance for you, you smash down hard onto it. Lifting yourself and slamming down again, over and over. Your cunt takes every inch of him, like it was made just to fit. You start to move faster and faster on his dick, until you're basically twerking with it inside you.

“Yessss,” he hisses out. “Yes baby, fuck, your tight little pussy feels so- ah, so good on my fat. cock.” Suddenly he holds onto your hips, pulling you down and making it hard to keep going. Now you get it, he's trying to edge himself too. With you now sitting still, but his dick still inside you, he decides to pay attention to your throbbing cunt. He takes a finger first and rubs gentle circles around your clit. Listening to your soft moans and whimpers, he starts whispering in your ear.

“Yes that's a good girl,bbaby. Love when I play with you like that, huh? Your wet little cunt so tight around my dick.” This is all you need. His fingers speed up on your clit, and he bucks his hips up ever so slightly. He keeps whispering those sweet words into your ear until finally, “Come for me baby. Come all over this big cock.”

You let out a moan at this. “Fuck daddy, I'm so. fucking. close.” you let out with a shriek. His fingers working you over so quick on your clit. “Fuck I'm gonna-” your words break off. You squeeze your eyes shut, and can only hear the blood rushing through your ears. You don't know if you scream, or curse, or moan. All you know is that you completely shatter. Your cum bursts out, encasing his entire dick in the thick liquid.

When you finally regain your senses, you make a quick eye contact with Joel. “How was that baby?” he asks, with just a touch of shyness. “Do you think you could keep going?”

Fuck, absolutely you could keep going. You need him to come inside you. You need it so bad.

You nod your head aggressively at him. “Please. Please keep going Joel.” He gives you several long kisses before weaving his arms around you, and flipping you so that you're on all fours on the sofa. After a moment of him admiring your body, every shape and curve, he sticks a few fingers into your hole, feeling his way around before abruptly removing them. He lines up his cock again and slowly slides it in. He does this several times before picking up his pace. A low groan escapes his mouth.

“Can't believe I'm fucking this tight little pussy. So- tight around my cock,” he says, breathlessly before letting out another groan. “Wanna- come inside it baby. Can I fill you up with daddy’s cum?”

You moan. “Fuck yes, come inside me daddy,” you whine. “Fill me up, give it all to me.” You're seconds from coming again when he decides to pick up the pace even further. His pelvis slamming into your ass, and balls coming up to graze against your clit are enough to make you go insane. You're moaning now with every thrust, his calloused fingers holding tighter and tighter onto your hips.

Suddenly, you feel your walls clamp down onto him, and you come again. This time your heat spreading all over the front of him and down onto the couch. Still in your euphoric state, you hear him shout “fuck!”, before completely unraveling inside you. His hot ropes of cum pumping inside of you, being forced further and further up. He finishes completely and pulls out slowly.

“Here, let me go get a towel for you,” he says, but before he can get the chance to move, you sit up and catch the cum that drips out of your entrance. You want the rest to stay in you, as a reminder for the rest of the night. You teasingly bring your fingers up to your mouth and suck each of them clean. His mouth opens slightly, and once you've swallowed all of it down, he gives you several long, passionate kisses.

“You're so sexy,” he says quietly, still observing your every move.

“Can we do this again before I leave?” you ask.

“Ahh baby girl, yes of course we can. Just don't tell Sarah,” he gives a wink at the end of this thought.

The two of you eat your dinner, which had been sitting on the porch for some time. Apparently the driver knocked a while ago, and you didn't even hear it. Once finished, you say your goodbyes and head back to your family's house.

“Jee, what took you all night?” your brother prods when you enter the front door.

“We just were on video call with Sarah and got carried away,” you say with a teasing look.

“Oh that's a relief, I was starting to think you two were fucking,” he jokingly wipes sweat off his forehead.

You flip him off as you walk to your old bedroom to start getting ready to shower. He has no idea how right he is. You look down at your phone and see a text from Sarah. You curse to yourself before reading.

Hey thanks again for making that visit to my dad. I know he’s been a little lonely without me there so I bet he really appreciates the company. Love you girl. ‘Don't tell Sarah,’ you think to yourself over and over again. She can never find out about this.

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you

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forever-once-gone · 3 months

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Day 1: Sweet things soft!yandere bts does to make you unconsciously fall in love with them <3

Part of the Love, Amour, Aur Pyaar drabble series for February!

Word count: 1.1k, 1.3k, 2.0k, 0.5k, 1.5k, 0.8k, 1.8k (respectively, for a total of ~9.3k)

Content and Warnings: soft yandere (though can be read as not yandere, for most of them), love, nicknames, "productivity" ruts, insecurity, fluff, suggestive but no smut, wandering hands,

Author' note: This is for a challenge that I've put on myself to write every day of the month. The goal is not to write a lot, but just to write something. Obviously I failed this time, as I lost control of keeping these short. They were all supposed to be about 0.5k like Joon's (his was the first I wrote) but I just can't control myself and they ended up getting way too long. Especially Hobi's. I blame it on the fact that I haven't written for him yet, so I just went all out. It's unedited, as all of these will be. Don't expect timely posting as, again , this challenge is more for me to write, not for me to post. But yeah, enjoy! And let me know what you think. This is the first time I'm writing headcannons like this, so it was fun!

Kim Seokjin

~ He cooks for you

~ Your annoying roommate who seems to care for no-one else but himself, who made a little too much noise when he was playing video games in the living room, whether it be due to his first person shooter or him swaying his hips as the latest version of Just Dance blared out of the surround sound speakers he’d installed when he first moved in, your infuriating roommate who always forgot his clothes in the washer, making you put his wet, cold clothes in the dryer

~ That same, selfish roommate always found time to pause his little game, or whatever other activity, to make you food when he noticed you venture out of the room you rarely came out of (due to not wanting to see the irritating man) and into the kitchen

~ No matter how many times you tell him that you are capable of making your own lunches, he always pushes you aside and begins cooking himself

~ Making you sit at the breakfast bar with a statement along the lines of: “well, I’m hungry now, so I’m going to make lunch. You suck at cooking, so you might as well just eat what I make, I don’t want the whole house to smell like burnt fish like last time.”

~ Which is a lie, by the way

~ You do not, by any means, suck at cooking or leave the house smelling bad

~ You’re actually a pretty good cook

~ Now, you may not be a world-class chef, but you definitely knew your way around the kitchen

~ But you see, dear reader, acts of service (or more specifically, acts of cooking) were Jin’s love language

~ He may not be good at keeping up with his chores, or keeping his voice low when you were in your room trying to relax, but he did try to show his affection for you through his cooking (as he knew no other way to try and get closer to you)

~ Seeing you eating the recipe that he had perfected a few years back with a huge smile that he rarely got to see directed towards him (due to your disdain for your immature, hectic roommate) was enough to make a red hue coat his face

~ When you would finish your plate and finally notice his blush, no amount of questioning would lead him to admit that seeing you look happy—happy because of him—was the reason behind it

~ He would give excuses like: “It’s from the hot stove!” or “I put five chillies in the marinade, and it’s too spicy now!” or the wildest, most unbelievable excuse he’s given till date “I’m trying to keep myself from vomiting!”

~ Like… why would he be about to vomit when he sat beside you at the breakfast bar eating a bite of the softest and most delectable cupcake he’s made to date????

~ This cupcake would never make even the worst critic want to vomit???

~ Why does he refuse to admit it’s just because seeing the way that you’re happily swaying as you devour your third cupcake of the night made his heart swell in his chest???

~ Before, you may have refused to leave your room any more than necessary due to how Jin always managed to raise your blood pressure

~ But over the past few months of him taking up cooking for the both of you, he’s been able to see you much more than just the three times he would usually see you (breakfast, lunch, and dinner)

~ At first he would only see you when you needed to eat or leave the house, but with time, you began to spend more of your day with him, watching him cook up his new creation for the both of you to try together

~ He unconsciously started to make recipes that took longer, just so you would sit in front of him for more time as he chopped vegetables and stirred pots

~ You began to actually speak to him, and not just yell at him to make sure to take out the trash and remind him that it was his turn to clean the bathroom

~ You guys were actually talking, but not just talking, you guys were getting along

~ Who would have thought that the roommate you used to complain to your friends about over the phone, would soon become someone who you wanted to spend time with?

~ With his longer recipes, you now would bring some sort of entertainment with you, sometimes a book, or your phone, or sometimes you’d sneak off into the living room across from the kitchen and begin messing around with the game he had put on pause when you came out of your room declaring you were hungry and asking him to make that one pasta recipe you loved

~ You would laugh as he’d yell from the stove about how you were “going to mess up my save files!”

~ Slowly he was able to coax you out of your room to spend more time with him in this way, until the equilibrium shifted, and you began to spend more time outside of your room than inside of it

~ Outside of your room and with him

~ Before you knew it, your night time routine had shifted.

~ Your routine used to be eating the delicious meal that jin made for you, washing the dishes for the both of you (it was only fair with him cooking for you all the time), and then heading straight back into your room with a small, reluctant thank you

~ But now?

~ You would wash the dishes, and instead of going into your room, you’d settle on the couch where Jin had gone back to playing his video games

~ When he’d notice you were done with the dishes, he’d throw one end of the blanket that he was wrapped up in to you

~ He’d try not to draw attention to the flush that had resurfaced on his cheeks again (due to you willingly spending time with him outside of cooking now) as he kept his eyes locked on the tv, but it was a fruitless attempt as you had grown fond of the rosiness of his cheeks and would notice it even if he were to try to hide the red under a pound of concealer

~ He’d try not to gulp when you’d slide closer to his end of the couch, pressing against his arm, a hand falling on his thigh under the blanket, peeking over his shoulder at the controller in his hand

~ You’d whisper out a low-toned comment of how you wanted to learn how to play too, how you wanted him to teach you how to play

~ He was willing to cook for you three times a day—that took a lot of effort, you had to admit

~ Maybe it was time for you to return the favour

Min Yoongi

~ He always indulges you in your newest hobbies

~ You tend to hop from one interest to another

~ One day you’re learning how to crochet, the next you’re folding a thousand paper cranes

~ Always grasping at the newest pastime that you saw pop up on your feed, you tend to hole yourself up in your room, fiddling with tiny strips of paper as you fold paper stars (at least, that’s what you were obsessing over this time)

~ He would gladly sit beside you, cutting thin strips of paper just so you didn’t have to stop your folding to restock

~ When you had quickly changed to knitting, and the shoe box of paper strips were left to rot under your bed, he didn’t make you feel bad at all

~ Whereas your friends from the past made you feel guilty when you wouldn’t stick to your hobbies long enough to actually use up the things that they had helped you with or bought you (claiming they had wasted their time helping you)

~ Yoongi, on the other hand, would just smile and ask you about the new task that had caught your eye

~ He’d rather bite off his own tongue, than say anything that would make you feel bad

~ Quickly he’d adapt and now, instead of cutting strips of paper, he was rolling your yarn into balls by hand as your playlist played in the background

~ Though the music was playing, he was focused more on you explaining the new pattern that you’d learned, watching as you ranted about the required tension in the yarn as you fiddled with your newest project

~ When you were able to stick to a hobby long enough to complete a project, he was the one who was the most proud of you compared to anyone else

~ When you showed him the bottle green knit ribbed sweater you had completed for him, he was smiling ear to ear, pulling his current hoodie off in an instant to put on the one you’d made him

~ He watched sweetly as you moved his body around to show him all the techniques you had to use

~ Lifting his arms up to show him where you had to attach the sleeves to the torso of the sweater

~ Tilting his chin up so you could get a better look at the neckline, as you told him how you had to learn a different stitch just to make it

~ You tried to pretend like you didn’t see the endeared, rosy look on his face, when you looked back up at him, realizing just how close you were to him at that point

~ You took a step back from him, clearing your throat, asking him to do a spin so you could see how the back fit him

~ You hoped he didn’t discern that the only reason that you had asked him to turn was so you’d be given a chance to collect yourself

~ When he finally did turn back around—at your say—he gave you a small, tender smile

~ “Thank you”

~ You could have melted right there

~ You loved how he didn’t even point out the fallen stitches as he hugged the fabric close to himself with a smile

~ But even in obviously love-filled moments like that, it wasn’t enough to really pull you together

~ It wasn’t until you had taken up learning how to play the guitar, that the both of you couldn’t skirt around your feelings any longer

~ When your feed had become filled with electric guitar covers of classic rock, pop rock, and modern pop music, you had quickly told your enabler about your new passion

~ Yoongi loved when you took on a hobby that he actually knew something about

~ It gave him an excuse to be even closer to you

~ To give you tips and tricks, to guide you, even teach you!

~ It gave him reason to be near you even more than usual

~ So you’ve got to understand that he was thrilled when you started sending him TikToks of face-cropped out people playing the guitar

~ Aside: you know, like the types of TikToks that are lowkey thirst traps; made in lowlight, the player zooming in precisely to their lower torso where the guitar is, as they slowly thrust their hips to the music? yeah, when you send him those, he gets giddy at the fact that you may find guitar players *cough*like him*cough* attractive

~ But he did end up offering to teach you how to play! Congrats, you got free private lessons :D

~ He convinces you to get a cheaper acoustic guitar to start with before jumping into the electric guitar—even though you had pouted at him at the guitar shop—as he said it was easier to learn the basics on an acoustic rather than an electric

~ Every free evening that you had, he would come to your apartment, guitar case strap over his shoulder with a cute baseball hat on to keep his promise of teaching you

~ He’d be so gentle with you, never raising his voice even when you made the same mistake ten times in a row

~ He didn’t frown when you forgot the chord that he had taught you from your last session, all he would do is gently move your fingers to the right position from behind you, his chin resting lightly on your shoulder as he did

~ Was that position necessary? No of course not

~ Could he have very well just shown you the chord on his own guitar from in front of you? Sure, he could have

~ But let him have this moment, will you?

~ He likes to pretend that he’d hugging you from behind

~ Let him be a little delusional, please and thank you

~ Day and day again, Yoongi would give you your lessons, and even after he’d leave late at night, you’d strum your fingers over the strings

~ This hobby quickly became the one that you spent the longest time fixating on

~ You weren’t able to put your (quickly callusing) finger on why it had become the hobby you stayed on the longest, but when Yoongi appeared with his gummy smile that evening, looking like a complete sweetheart, you think you were able to finally realize why

~ That night you played for him in one try, for the first time, the song he had been teaching you

~ Your vision was tunneled on your strings as you tried your hardest to make the man in front of you proud

~ You wanted to show him that his work on you had paid off

~ Not just how much time he’d spent on teaching you the guitar, but ALL the time he’d spent on you

~ Keeping up with your hobbies, sitting beside you when you fumbled with UV resin, allowing you to do makeup on him when you went through your makeup artist phase, buying you the expensive foreign yarn that you kept going on and on about

~ You wanted to show him that he didn’t waste his time on him, and maybe by playing this song for him, he’d realise just how much you appreciated him

~ And when you struck the final chord, and looked up at him, you were taken back by the glazed over look of his eyes, his lips shining in the LED lights you had put up when they were trending, affection clear in his expression

~ The two of you sat in the post-performance atmosphere, until you were lifting your guitar out of your lap, laying it down beside you, and shifted a bit closer to him

~ Placing a hand on the collar of the sweater you had made for him (it had quickly become one of his favourite things to wear), you waited to see if he’d pull away, but when he didn’t, you finally connected your lips to his

~ You may hop from one hobby to another, but if only one thing were to stay constant in your life, you hoped it would be him

Jung Hoseok

~ He would make you mixtapes/playlists

~ You met him through your university friend

~ One of them was a theatre major, and so had a few classes with the talented dance major that always performed at the school talent nights

~ When you’d gone to see your friend’s short story performance, you had been encapsulated in the ambience of the man who performed right before your friend went up

~ His movements were smooth, his expressions were haunting, the music paired with the way he seemed to blend in with the flashing lights and tempo, yet the way he still remained the focal point of the whole dance was captivating

~ And the best part is when he finished, chest heaving as he stood with his chin pointed up, head slightly tilted to the side, his expression was harsh just as the music had once been, harsh—that is—until the audience erupted into cheers and he broke into a huge smile

~ Shiny white teeth reflecting the stage lights back at the crowd, and as the MC came back on stage to thank the man (J-Hope, you learned from the lady) and just before he turned to walk off stage, he met your eyes, his eyes shining as he threw a wink your way

~ You felt so on the spot as the person sitting beside you turned to you, as he had noticed the display from J-Hope

~ You fiddled with the bouquet sitting in your lap

~ “Is that your boyfriend?” he asked, leaning over to you so you could hear him over your friend’s performance

~ “No,” you had replied, still embarrassed by the talented man’s wink, and the questioning by the uni student you’d never met before

~ “Well,” the guy leaned back into his seat, “maybe you should change that.”

~ Ah, the man thought you were in a situationship with him, or at the very least that the performer had interest in you

~ How are you supposed to explain to him that a lot of performers do similar things??? It’s not something unique just to you

~ You decided to just forget about the whole thing, trying to enjoy the performance so you could actually give your friend a compliment when you handed them the flowers you brought after the show

~ You tried your best, but other than getting a vague grasp of the plot, you couldn’t really remember any details, your brain still replaying the image of J-Hope winking at you

~ You clapped as hard as you could when your friend’s performance ended, watching them bow with their fellow actors and actresses

~ They caught your eye, happy to see you in the front row of the theatre, the first few rows reserved for the family and friends of the performers, they sent a happy wave to you before walking off stage

~ After another hour and a half, and the last few performances finished, you were able to go backstage to see your friend

~ You greeted them with a hug and then presented them with the bouquet of roses

~ “Aw, Y/n, you didn’t have to do this!” they said, as they gave you another hug

~ “You deserved it! You did so well today!” you smiled at them

~ “Aw, baby,” they said affectionately, “I love you so much!”

~ “Yeah yeah,” you waved them off from trying to pull you into yet another hug

~ They just linked their arms with you, pulling you through the crowd of performers you had been watching for the past few hours

~ They brought you to their friends, some of which you had already met through the friend who continued to press themselves against your side, your flowers clutched to their other side

~ “Y/n, I want you to finally meet my entire team! Everyone, this is Y/n!”

~ A chorus of hellos surrounded you, to which you politely replied

~ You made small talk with the people around you, that is until you heard someone clear their throat behind you

~ You and your friend turned as one (they did have quite the tight grip on you), and though you expected one of your friend’s friends, you weren’t prepared to see J-Hope standing behind you, a small grin on his face

~ You nearly took a step back, but your friend’s grip on you kept you in place

~ “Oh my god, hi J! I saw your performance out there! All the practice paid off, huh?” your friend asked the man who had not broken eye contact with you even once since you turned around

~ “Yeah, more than paid off, I’d say,” he said confidently

~ He tilted his head at you, “and who may this be? You dating or what? I see them a lot in your stories.”

~ Your friend’s face immediately turned red, as they turned to press their face into your shoulder in embarrassment, “No~” they dragged out the word, “We’re—We’re just friends, we umm—”

~ “That’s great,” J-Hope interrupted, uninterested in what your friend had to say further. “Does that mean I can finally follow this beauty on Instagram?”

~ Your friend was silent, their hold tight on you

~ The silence dragged on, until it finally set in that the handsome man in front of you was asking you out

~ “Oh! Uh, yeah, yeah you can,” your friend said reluctantly, when you didn't tell J-Hope off

~ You felt your friend’s grip on you disappear, as they slinked back to their friend group

~ “Amazing.” J-Hope smiled at you. He pulled out his phone and immediately opened up instagram, searching your username (no he didn’t ask you for it, yes he already had it memorized). He sent you a follow request (your instragram was private), and slipped his phone into his pocket

~ “Look forward to getting to know you better, Y/n.” He stuck out his hand for you to shake and you obliged

~ He turned to walk away from you, before calling over his shoulder, “Next time, make sure the bouquet is for me, alright? I like tulips”

~ He threw another wink at you, leaving you frozen to your spot, all alone

~ When you finally came to, you immediately pulled out your phone to apologize to your friend, and that you’d meet up with them at the restaurant you’d planned to go to together for their victory (so to speak) dinner

~ They just texted you to reschedule it for another time

~ You then opened up Instagram, accepting J-Hope’s (who you learned’s real name is Jung Hoseok, J-Hope being his stage name) request

~ As you scrolled through the profile, you got a dm: “Well, you accepted that fast 😚”

~ Another message flew in before you could even think to reply, “I hope that means I made a good impression 🤔”

~ You immediately felt embarrassed all over again, had you been too fast? Should you have waited for the morning to accept the request? Were you coming off as too eager? Did you seem desperate?!

~ Just as your finger began to move to block the man and all the troubles he had already begun to deploy on your psyche, another bubble popped up: “Just so you know… you made quite an impression on me too ☺️”

~ You sucked in a breath, and just hearted his message, and put away your phone

~ He seemed to have quite the love for dramatics

~ Over the next few days he continued to message you, with you only able to give him short replies and hearted messages—to be fair to you, it was hard to deal with a man with over 3500+ followers flirting with you day in and day out

~ You aren’t really able to get comfortable enough to really talk to him until he randomly, one day, sends you a link to a song

~ “Hey, this reminded me of you.”

~ It was not a song you were expecting, it was an instrumental piece, no words for you to know why exactly this song reminded him of you… but you liked it.

~ It seemed like a hopeful song, a little bit whimsical, a little hesitant, but overall positive.

~ You messaged him a full sentence for the first time that evening: “Thanks, I really liked it. I added it to my playlist <3”

~ Hoseok spent that whole night rereading your message, looking over the small heart emoji you sent

~ He considered this a step in the right direction, sending a screenshot of your message to his friends just for the group chat to erupt in messages to hype him up

~ Since that day, he routinely sent you songs in between his other messages, almost maneuvering you into feeling more comfortable speaking with him

~ The songs rarely seemed to match the ones he’d previously sent, the genres were always different, the mood always fluctuating, and it just made one very odd, hard to follow playlist

~ Yet, it still made your heart beat out of your chest when you played it

~ And it worked, as your playlist grew with the songs that he sent you, so did your feelings for the flirty, straightforward man

~ After many times of asking to meet you in person, you finally agreed to meet Hoseok for a date

~ You put on your best outfit and went to the flower shop at the corner by your apartment, before beginning your walk to the restaurant the two of you had agreed to meet at

~ (the same one you were supposed to go to with your ex-friend on the day you first met Hoseok—and, yes, ex-friend; you have no idea why they didn’t seem to want anything to do with you anymore…)

~ You rounded the corner to see him waiting by the entry of the restaurant, dark sunglasses covering his eyes, a dark button up with dress pants and shoes paired nicely with it, his mouth set in a slight frown

~ You walked up to him, and almost as though he could sense your presence, he turned right to you his frown instantly becoming a large smile, teeth and all

~ “Y/n,” he said softly, sounding almost relieved. He took a step towards you, before pulling you into a light hug, as though he was trying his hardest not to scare you away

~ He held on for a second, before taking a step back, scanning your face with a smile

~ You held out the flowers in front of you

~ “Tulips,” he said, accepting the bouquet from you. “You remembered.”

~ He brought them to his face, taking a small whiff, before pulling you in for another hug

~ “Thank you”

~ Maybe you should have been more put off by his touchy-ness considering this was only the second time you’d met him in person, but over the last few weeks of texting him, you didn’t feel uncomfortable at all

~ Not uncomfortable, but the butterflies in your stomach were very much making themselves known

~ “No worries,” you said

~ “Here, this is for you.” He held out a CD case decorated with colourful stickers of rainbow flowers, cartoon characters, and random cute objects

~ He had spelled out “to: Y/n” in sticker letters in one corner of the clear case, “from: Hoseok” in another

~ When you opened the case, you saw that he had written in red sharpie over the CD: “Hopefully: the first of many ♡ Our first official mixtape”

~ You traced over the stickers and letters on both the CD and the CD case, taken aback by the gift

~ “I burned the disc myself. I know it’s a bit of an outdated practice, but I hope you think it feels true to us.”

~ You just smiled up at him, “I love it, thank you, Hoseok.”

~ You pulled him in for a hug, the first ever hug you’ve given him

~ He felt shivers run down his back

~ After the incredible dinner, you went home and immediately put the CD on (after having dug through your closet for the old CD player, and making a huge mess of your room)

~ The songs were a mix of your favourites that he had sent you, and the other half were songs that you had recommended back to him

~ And as the songs filled the air, you sent him a picture of the CD player on your messy bed with all the clothes thrown on it

~ “The CD is wonderful,” you added along with the picture. “You’re wonderful. I’d love for there to be many more after this one <3��

~ Hoseok sent the screenshot to his group chat, and Taehyung was the loudest amongst all the cheers

~ “You owe me big time for telling Y/n that they should date you that day! 😤”

Kim Namjoon

~ He writes you poetry

~ He is a book worm through and through, so he tends to send you excerpts from his favourite books

~ Whether it be poetry, prose, or anything else

~ A dialogue from a movie

~ A sentence from a youtube video

~ A screenshot from instagram

~ No matter what medium, if it’s a piece of writing that reminded him of you, he sends it to you

~ It started off with poetry that was innocent enough, poetry about humans, the universe, the stars, our place in the middle of this gigantic mess that was left behind from the big bang

~ At the beginning, the writings are very philosophical

~ That is, until it isn’t

~ Slowly but surely, the poems change from ones that relate more to the state of the world, the route in which the world is going, poems about human nature to then being about the relations amongst humans, the intimate nature of growing with someone, being with someone

~ At first they seem to insinuate only of two like-minded souls coming together in a shared existence, but not necessarily one that was romantic

~ But then the poetry does turn into something more romantic

~ Talks of twin flames

~ Snippets of greek mythology that spoke of how humans were made in pairs until Zeus split them to be in twos—separated forever—waiting and looking for their other half—their soulmate

~ These poems are at first more abstract, two people without names, without “me” and “you” appearing in the words, until they just one day are

~ One day the poems change from the concept of love, to very direct professions of love

~ Poems that start with the word “I” and end with the word “you” with the various synonyms and phrases that denote “love” sprinkled in between them

~ You would never know that some of these quotes, writings that he shares, are pieces he’s written directly for you

~ From the beginning, the occasional message was not one he happened to stumble upon on the web, or a quote he found particularly intriguing in his current book

~ No

~ Sometimes, they were from him

~ His feelings for you, written in his google doc, the document filled only with his feelings about you, the words he wrote while thoughts and images of you circled around his head like a lovestruck character from an old cartoon

~ Sure, in the beginning, the poems were more frequently from other sources than himself, but as he slowly shifted his topics for poetry, as he got bolder with his underlying declarations of love—his own poetry document became his main source of vocables to send to you

~ You should be scared with this gradual change to this feeling of love that you’re getting from someone you consider a friend, but with the gradual change in the screenshots of scenes from movies displaying subtitles of love, to pictures of underlined quotes in the book he’s reading, to the posts with delicate poetry forwarded to you, pictures of a laptop screen that you were beginning to become all too familiar with; in that same gradual way, your feelings for him changed too

~ From something more platonic, more abstract, more open-ended

~ To something much more romantic, defined, and unchanging

~ With the small declarations of love he’s dusted into your inbox over the last few seasons

~ He’s slowly, but deliberately made his way into your heart

~ Maybe it’s time you wrote him something too

Park Jimin

~ He always helped you out during the harsh winters

~ Well he helped you out during most of the year really, he’d mow your lawn, he’d ask you if you’d rather he take your dog out for a walk with his, so you could relax in the morning

~ In the spring he’d tell you about the best native wildflowers you could sow in your garden

~ He’d help you deal with any blown over garbage that had stayed hidden under the snow that had only made itself known when the snow had finally melted

~ He’d walk up your porch just to give you some of the cookies that he had made just moments ago

~ Telling you, when you opened the door, how he needed a taste tester to truly know whether the cookies were made just right

~ “I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of my coworkers tomorrow at the potluck,” he’d say with a closed eyes smile

~ He also told you how he was pretty late to welcoming you to the neighbourhood as you had moved in early spring and it had already become hot outside

~ Just accept the cookies, dear, he spent the last two days on them

~ So it was less that he was helping you out during the winter times (that had yet to come), but more so that he was such a kind and helpful neighbour that he had eventually grown so close to you through these various small favours, that he had practically become a part of your home life

~ During the summer, he’d mow your lawn for you when he’d do his, only accepting a cup of lemonade from you, and nothing more in return

~ When you’d be tending to your flower garden in front of your house, he’d give you tips over the fence, telling you how he tended to his rose bush and the best pruning methods for the hydrangeas that you had

~ When you’d be in your backyard, picking ripe tomatoes from the vine, guiding your cucumber vines up the wooden frame Jimin had helped you put together, and/or just sunbathing on a lawn lounger, Jimin would peek over the fence and make small talk until you just called him over to make the conversation easier to carry

~ He’d be quick to rush over, bringing his pup to mingle with yours; they both had become pretty close following their shared walks together

~ You watched the dogs chase each other around your backyard as you and Jimin laid down on the loungers and basked in the sun

~ (with plenty of sunscreen of course, Jimin would never let you get skin cancer—he’s sweet like that, just lay on your stomach and let him rub the cream in, don’t pay much mind to any wandering hands)

~ In fall, he helped you rake all the leaves, not allowing you to do anything more than jumping into the big pile at the end of the hour

~ He would jump in following you, right on top of you, causing you to hold him close to keep from becoming crushed by him entirely

~ Your dogs were barking around the two of you, confused by the two of you disappearing into the center of the leaf pile

~ They continued to circle around the pile, pawing at the leaves they could reach until the two of you burst out of the leaves like freshly assembled viruses lysing out of a cell

~ He helped you put up your Halloween decorations, and helped you sew your costume together

~ Since you lived right beside together, you paired together to make a common theme between the two houses, and handed out candy together on Halloween night

~ When the late fall rain started, and your gutters were clogged with fallen leaves, he leant you his ladder and guided you on how to clear out the drainage, making sure you didn’t waste your money on hiring a roofer to clear them out when he could just help you do it himself

~ Plus you made him dinner in return! A win-win in his books, if you ask him

~ When winter struck, and the snow finally began to fall, he didn’t let you use your brand new shovel even once on your own, always out in the driveway before you are even able to put on your gloves

~ “I already finished mine! I’ll help out with yours if you’ll make me a cup of hot chocolate in return?”

~ Obviously you agree, a helping hand from your handsome, handy neighbour which saves you time and energy? Yes, please

~ When the snow got too heavy for you to drive to the grocery store safely, Jimin would knock on your door, take notes off your grocery list, and go on the behalf of both of you

~ He’d call you from the grocery store no less than three times to make sure he chose the right type of milk that you had wanted, because god forbid you got the wrong brand of oat milk because of him!

~ How else would you be able to see how he’d be such a dependable husband?!

~ When he finally would text you in the parking lot of the grocery store that he’s on his way back

~ He’d be giddy to see you standing in your driveway, bundled up in a long jacket, a large scarf, and red and white striped mittens, waiting with a cold nose to help him bring in the groceries

~ Every Saturday, after the grocery store trip, you’d make him dinner to repay him for his help, because even though you always paid him back for the things he bought you, you always felt that he deserved something more

~ You’d always end up in your living room, watching a random rom com together after finishing your dinner

~ The one night that led to the two of you finally acknowledging the feelings you had gained for him had been a stormy night

~ A blizzard had swept over the city, laying a meter of snow over the whole area

~ You were practically buried in

~ You were faring pretty well, until in the middle of the night, your house lost power

~ You hoped it would come back soon, but when it didn’t come back in an hour, you ended up calling Jimin

~ It took three tries for him to actually pick up the phone. “Hello? I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

~ “Hmm? Y/n? No, no, I’m awake,” he yawned, obviously just woken up. “What’s wrong?”

~ “Jimin, I have no power… It’s been over an hour… I’m getting a bit scared.”

~ “...Give me a second, I’ll be right over.”

~ He waited for you to open the door to your house, looking around the neighbourhood. He noticed that all the lights were out, even the streetlights.

~ When you finally opened up the door, all wrapped up in a blanket, eyes a bit teary, he had to stop himself from scooping you up in his arms and comforting you

~ Instead he just told you to bundle up and bring anything you need, plus your dog over to his house

~ He waited in the foyer as you put on your jacket and picked up some things that you needed, your dog laying obediently beside his booted feet

~ Your house had seriously cooled down in the two hours since you’d lost power, it seriously was cold outside

~ You looked like a marshmallow in your puffed up jacket, and he had to bite back his smile (not that you’d see it in the dark anyways)

~ He brought you over to his house, that miraculously had power

~ “I have a generator,” he explained. “You’ll be warm and safe here.”

~ You had to stop yourself from sobbing in thanks, instead just nodding your head

~ He brought you and your dog up to his guest bedroom, giving you some extra blankets just in case

~ “Call me if you need anything, okay?” he said

~ You nodded from the center of the bed, all wrapped up in blankets with both your and his dogs lying on top of the blankets with you

~ “Thank you, Jimin, for everything.” You could feel yourself choking up. “I don’t know what I would’ve done all year without you. I would be okay in the cold, but my pup—”

~ You broke down in sobs, Jimin immediately rushing back to you from the doorway to pull you into his chest on the bed

~ “Hey, hey, don’t cry. I’m here. I’m here. You, our dogs, me, we’re all safe. Don’t you cry, please, don’t cry.”

~ He rocked you in his arms until you calmed down, almost instantly melting in his arms

~ “Can you stay with me here tonight?” you asked, scared to look at him as you asked

~ “Of course”

~ He pulled you to lay back down in the bed, pushing the blankets up to lay beside you. You immediately pushed yourself back into his chest

~ “Seriously, thank you, Jimin,” you whispered into the dark, warm room

~ “Don’t thank me, I wouldn't have done it any other way”

Kim Taehyung

~ He was always the one to notice when you fell into a slump (and pull you out of it)

~ When you’ve been having a bad time, stuck studying or doing overtime at work, never able to fully just go back home without immediately opening up your laptop and tip-tapping away, he always manages to realize you’ve fallen into the “productivity” hole and comes knocking at your door with dinner in hand and a bottle to calm your nerves

~ If you weren’t responding properly for one day, he’d let it be, it may not be one of your productivity ruts, but if it had been nearing 48 hours since you replied to him, or messaged in the group chat with your guys’ friend group, or if he called you and you didn’t pick up, that’s when he would begin to assume that you were in your rut again.

~ While the rest of your friends didn't really ever notice that you were absent, at least not enough to draw concern, Tae would notice a little too quickly

~ Tae would realize before you did yourself

~ “Your do-not-disturb is on again, isn’t it?” was his ‘greeting’ when you opened the door for him

~ This was not an unexpected appearance, he had once again realized your state of mind

~ For what was the second time this month, probably the twentieth time this year, Tae had come to help you relax

~ The only friend you could truly rely on to help you

~ “...yeah, I’m sorry.” You closed the door behind him, watching him slip out of his shoes and into the slippers you kept around for him

~ He immediately walked into your kitchen, setting the bottle and food on your countertop, before heading straight to your home office

~ He shut down your laptop, closed the curtains, and blew out the eucalyptus “calming” candle that you only really burned in moments like these

~ “Tae… I should finish my report.”

~ He closed the door, before pulling you back into living room with him

~ “You can do that tomorrow, now just sit and relax.”

~ He sat you down on the couch, taking your tv remote and putting on the latest episode of the show the two of you had been watching together

~ He throws a blanket at you and then brings you guys the food he brought

~ When the food is all done, and a bit too much alcohol consumed, you let you head rest on his shoulder, his arm instantly coming around to hold you

~ “Taehyung, why do you always come here?” you asked

~ “I thought you could use some distractions from your work.” His hand smoothing over your deltoid soothingly

~ You wish he had said something different, something more selfish

~ “Is that all?” You shift against him to look at his expression, his eyes finally meeting yours

~ Was this the moment that the both of you finally vocalized the clear love you had for each other?

~ Tae sure hoped it was

~ “Do you want there to be another reason?”

~ You didn’t have a good answer for him, stuck between wanting to tell him how deeply you had grown to care for him and the worries that you had become a burden to him

~ A burden who always needed to be taken care of

~ You worried that you had become something that he resented, or would grow to resent

~ Tae brought you closer to him, his arm shifting from your upper arm, to instead curl around your waist, pulling you up to be level with him

~ “Y/n,” he purred. “Do you want me to have ulterior motives?”

~ Your mind was filled with worry that though he may care for you now, would he still care for you when you would go MIA again?

~ You exes hadn’t, they had all eventually grown tired of having to deal with your troubles with productivity

~ But Tae was different

~ It had already been months of your constant cycles of falling into “productive” spurts and pushing everyone away, and then realizing that you had and apologizing to everyone you’d ignored

~ And while your friends’ would be a bit irritated, Tae would always just be glad that he’d been able to bring you back to life (so to speak)

~ He never made you feel bad about the way you were, instead just be happy to have you back

~ Maybe, he’d be different

~ No, he was different

~ “Would it be bad, if I said yes? Would you come to regret having to deal with me?” You brought a hand up to cup his cheek, your thumb coming up to pass just below the beauty mark under his eye

~ He only leaned his head into your touch, pulling you even closer to him

~ “I could never regret anything that had to do with you.” He brought you into his lap, pressing his face into your shoulder, a small kiss pressed to the side of your neck

~ “Just let me take care of you.” He mumbled into your neck. “And take care of me too.”

~ It was time that you returned the solicitude

Jeon Jungkook

~ He helps you learn how to workout at the gym

~ When you had started to go to the gym in your apartment building, you were very lost, overwhelmed at all the choices for machines, weights, and workout plans

~ Since this was only a gym in the basement of the building that you lived in, there weren’t any personal trainers who could help you come out with a work out plan

~ On top of that, it seemed like only a handful of people came down here anyway, as more often than not, the gym would be empty

~ The only proof that someone else did some down here being the shifted weights and the changed settings on the cardio machines

~ The emptiness was nice to someone who was just starting out their workout journey like you

~ But it was both a blessing and a curse

~ A blessing because nobody would see you fumble about with the machines, unsure of how to use them or how to get in the right position to actually work out the muscles that they were supposed to

~ A curse because you were often lost and had no one you could ask for help

~ You didn’t dare to do any heavy lifting, because you knew how important having a spot was when you did, and you didn’t want to end up getting crushed under your bar as you tried to bench press

~ So you stuck to light weights, and more cardio than anything else

~ You usually worked out in the mornings, but one day, you had woken up late and considering you had to go to work, you decided it’d be better to go work out after

~ So after a long day, you pushed yourself to go down to the gym downstairs, telling yourself the workout could be half an hour, but you were gonna workout no matter your aching body

~ You were surprised to find someone actually working out there

~ A man with a sleeve full of tattoos on full display due to his oversized, short-sleeved white tee

~ A pair of gray sweats with the bottoms slightly pulled up his calves a bit, as though he’d pulled them up to prevent the loose fabric from getting in the way

~ He was doing some pullups on a bar, facing away from you, but he looked over his shoulder when he heard you enter, his arm muscles rippling beside his face as he did

~ “Oh, I’m sorry for interrupting.”

~ He just grunted in response, dropping down from the bar, and wiping his neck with a towel that he had set aside, his lip ring glinting in the gym lights

~ “Don’t apologize, you’re not interrupting anything,” he took a drink from his water bottle before moving to lay down on the bench press, it seemed he had already set up his weights, and all you could do was watch in awe as he pressed what was equivalent to your weight like it was nothing

~ He noticed you watching him from his laid position

~ “What? Not gonna workout?”

~ His words jumped you into action, instantly walking away from him to the stair climber that you usually began your workouts with

~ Thankfully, you were facing away from the man, so you couldn’t be anymore distracted by the lean man behind you

~ But the grunts—my god—how were you supposed to focus on your workout when even through your music, you could hear his groans as he lifted and lowered the weights to his chest

~ This was so different from working out by yourself!

~ You just turned up your music and tried to get through your 5 minutes of climbing

~ When you finished and moved to the leg press (it was leg day after all), you put on some weights (a safe amount that you were sure wouldn’t hurt you) and settled into position, your legs lifted up in position

~ You released the plate, and began the workout just as the man sat up for a break

~ You could feel him watching you, as you did your reps, his eyes scanning your body from top to bottom

~ You saw him stand up, coming up to stand beside you

~ “You’re going to hurt yourself doing that.”

~ “Huh?” you said, with a breath, sweat dripping down your temple

~ “You’re gonna break your knees locking them like that”

~ He helped you lock the plate again, before explaining further

~ “You’re locking your knees with every push. When you do leg presses, you’re not meant to extend your legs fully, you’re only gonna cause damage to your knees.” He motioned you to get up from your seat, before taking your place. “See how I do it. I bring my knees down almost entirely to my chest, right?”

~ You nodded, watching his demonstration.

~ “Then when I extend my legs, I only go this far, my legs don’t go completely straight like yours. Do you see the difference?” His brown eyes on you, as he pointed down at his legs. “Okay, now you try.”

~ You settled back in position, as he stood beside you, arms crossed over his chest

~ You followed his advice, doing one rep to show him, as he nodded in approval, “better”

~ “While we’re at it, here,” he brought his hand down to your lower abdomen, pushing your back against the machine, “when you push, you should avoid moving your hips forward, otherwise it won’t hit your quads, hamstrings, and glutes. You should feel it here,” he traced over your thighs with his index finger very lightly

~ “Try again but using your legs only, not your back”

~ You did another rep, instantly feeling the burn in your upper legs a lot more than before, “fuck!”

~ He laughed, “yeah, you feel it now, huh?”

~ “Yeah,” you struggled to say, locking the plate again. Letting your head fall back to the seat. “I’m gonna have to lower the weights now, I think. It’s a lot harder like this. Thanks for the advice though”

~ “No problem, you’ll grow your thighs in no time now.” He went back to the back presse, letting you go back to your workout. “Just would hate to see you hurt yourself, sweets”

~ You smiled at him, as he laid back down

~ When you left the gym, an half an hour later than you planned to

~ He called out to you, “if you ever need any other advice, I always come down here at 7pm and I’m usually here ‘til 9. Don’t hesitate, alright? I could use a workout partner, and if you ever need a spot, I’m here”

~ You took him up on his offer the following week, as you went down at 7pm sharp to see him setting up for his session

~ He smiled up at you from his position near the floor, setting up some weights, “Thought I’d never see you again, sweets.” He straightened up from the floor. “Thought I’d scared you away”

~ “No, no, I was just busy with work. Finally got some time today, couldn’t turn down a workout partner” you didn’t dare to tell him that you were just unsure whether it would be appropriate to actually start working out with him

~ He hummed in response, “let’s get started then, shall we?”

~ Over the next few months, he taught you how to use the machines more effectively and safely

~ He set up a better weekly routine that would work with you, which mirrored his, but with lower weights

~ He also grinned proudly when nearly a year later, you were showing him your progress pictures and flexing your arms in front of him, flexing your arms just like he’d shown you

~ You’d become quite close as you spent roughly two hours together every evening

~ “Goodness, Kookie, I would never get so ripped if it weren’t for you”

~ He pushed you away from him with a laugh, a blush on his face (he was a lot shyer than he originally seemed with his instructor persona)

~ “You still got a lot further to go, if you want to get anywhere near me” he teased you, referencing the one time you’d joked that you planned to become more muscular than him

~ “Oh stopppp!” you pushed him right back, your hands lingering on him even when you didn’t mean to

~ You had grown massive feelings for the tattooed man that was your workout partner

~ and you were sure that he did too, considering how many times you caught his eyes lingering on you when you worked out, his eyes darting away every time you caught him, blushing as he went back to his reps

~ And the fact that he would still readjust your position even though you very well by now knew the correct way

~ Or how he’d make you lay your hand over a muscle that he were focusing on during his workout, just so you’d feel the muscle move underneath your palm

~ Like, seriously, you don’t think he needed you to press your hand against his bare abs while he did his twenty different types of crunches for a full hour

~ Oh also, did I mention that he took to working out without a shirt a lot more after he began working out with you? Yeah, exactly, that man was definitely trying to get you to fall for him

~ Well, to be fair, you had started to pick out nicer work out clothes too… so take that as you will

~ And you couldn’t forget the one time, he’d jokingly (so he claimed) asked you if you’d like a different form of cardio to warm up before your workouts when you’d told him of what Henry Cavill does for cardio

~ You had laughed to hide the way your eyes were probably screaming yes

~ After another few months of him holding your waist as you did weighted squats, guiding you from behind, and him asking you to sit on his back while he did push ups and planks, and a hundred different ways you both found excuses to keep your hands and body on one another, you decided enough was enough

~ You took the elevator down at 6:30pm to his floor, and for the first time stood in front of his apartment door (he’d told you his floor and apartment number around the time you first met)

~ You rang the bell, hearing a soft “coming” from behind the door until he stood in front of you, shirtless and with his tattoos and piercings on full display

~ Goodness, his lip ring, looked incredible, you couldn’t wait to tug it in between your teeth

~ “Y/n?” he questioned, clearly confused to see you in your workout clothes and in front of his door so early

~ “Hey, Kookie,” you traced your nails down his chest, before stopping at his abs, “I was thinking that, maybe, we could try out Henry Cavill’s cardio warm-up, if you want of course…”

~ His eyes flashed with shock, before his mouth slowly grew into a smile, his hand coming around to pull you into his apartment by the small of your back

~ “Fuck, sweets, I thought you’d never ask”

I hoped you liked it! Please comment and reblog, or else I'm going to cry :D

#bts x reader #jin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #namjoon x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #yandere jin x reader #yandere yoongi x reader #yandere hoseok x reader #yandere namjoon x reader #yandere jimin x reader #yandere taehyung x reader #yandere jungkook x reader #bts scenarios #bts drabbles #series: love amour aur pyaar #ev's writing

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midnightsnyx · 5 months

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girl at home | mat barzal | part 5

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: swearing, angst, food, fluff, not edited word count: 2.3k authors note: it's my bday tmw and i am going out of town for the weekend so i wanted to get this posted!! also, i have no idea how pr management works so i def got everything wrong so pls don't yell at me lol i feel like this chapter is just like a roller-coaster that went off the tracks and blew up and someones trying to put it back together with tape from the dollar store so im sorry but i hope yall like it anyway and don't hate me pls <3 send your thoughts or come yell at me about this story bc I LOVE hearing from you guys!! It feeds my writing soul. thank u all for the love on this story so far and lmk if you wanna be added to my taglist. also thinking about doing some smau for this fic and wondering if you guys have any ideas or suggestions?

if you asked to be added to the taglist and didn't get tagged it's cause you didn't show up when i searched for you! so shoot me a msg and we can figure it out. also if you want to be added or taken off the taglist please let me know <3

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You didn’t think the situation with Mat’s statement could get any worse. You were already being pestered by your mom, your friends and even other parents at the day camps Nora attended. Mostly everyone knew that it was true that Mat was her father at that point so the statement caused questions to rise. Ignoring everybody’s opinions about it was easy but six simple words from Nora were what broke you.

“I thought Mat was my daddy,” she said softly while eating breakfast one morning. She had been quiet since the day before but it continued when she woke up the next morning. You thought maybe she was just moody and tired but it ended up being much more than that.

It took you a minute to answer, trying to figure out where she might have heard or been told that. It wasn’t that surprising that she might have gotten the impression that he was her dad considering how much time Mat had been spending with the two of you or she overheard a conversation. Kids are very perceptive but you couldn’t see how anyone would directly tell her about the public statement and you had been very careful about what you said around Nora and told everyone else to do the same.

Apparently someone didn’t get the memo.

You had two options. You could lie to Nora about what was going on or you could explain it in the best way you could to her. Lying to your daughter was the last thing you wanted to do but figuring out the easiest way to explain it so she would understand was hard. How were you supposed to explain that yes, Mat is her daddy but he was a fucking idiot and told the world that she’s not even though he said he wanted to be in her life. It would have been so simple to take the easy way out but it wouldn’t have been fair to Nora so after she finished her breakfast, you sat her down.

“You’re feeling a little confused, huh?” you asked, watching her fiddle with a loose string on her sweater.

She nodded, still not looking up at you and not offering her thoughts. It was a bit alarming because she was usually a chatterbox, even when she was upset about something. She would let you know exactly what was wrong.

“Who told you Mat was your daddy?”

She finally looked up at you, and the tears threatening to spill from her eyes made you both angry and upset. You were ready to find whoever told her and scream at them but her answer stunned you.

“I heard you talking to Jaxy,” she whispered. “I wasn’t trying to listen but I was coming out to get some water and you said that you were mad at Mat.”

She didn’t elaborate on what else she may have heard which was unnerving because you probably said a lot of things about Mat that night when Jax came over to talk to you about it. You hoped she didn’t stay long enough for your breakdown where you had cried for thirty straight minutes.

She sniffled, wiping a couple tears away. “I don’t understand.”

Your heart broke but you still struggled with how to explain everything to her. Telling her in the beginning was probably a better idea but you were so caught up in your own thoughts and feelings, you ignored the person who should have been your number one priority the entire time.

“Mat is your daddy, baby,” you said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

I’m sorry I kept you a secret.

“How come everyone is saying he’s not?”

Mat should have been the one to answer this question because it was his doing, but you hadn’t spoken to him since the night he was at your apartment and the two of you argued. He had texted you the day after but you ignored it because you didn’t know what you would say when given the chance.

“Well, sometimes people make mistakes and Mat said something he shouldn’t have,” you explained, hoping it was enough and it seemed to be enough at first but then she hugged you tightly.

“I love you mama,” she said and before you could reply, she quietly asked, “Do you think Mat loves me?”

“I’m sure he does,” you told her and it took everything in you not to cry.

. . .

Liana: dinner at our place @ 6. bring nora and don’t be late!!!

You’re tempted to decline the request and just stay home but you’ve been promising Liana and Nadia that you would actually visit instead of dropping Nora off and leaving like you’ve been doing. Avoiding Mat is becoming increasingly difficult. It’s been two weeks since he released the statement and a week since your conversion with Nora. She’s been asking a lot of questions, ones that you didn’t plan on having to answer so soon. You expected her to be angry with you for not telling her but she took your confirmation that Mat’s her dad with ease.

So it didn’t come as a surprise when her first question was whether Mat would be at the Barzal household for this dinner. You hadn’t bothered to ask Liana, mainly because you knew it would definitely impact your decision to agree to go.

“Did you know that Zoe’s mom and dad aren’t together either?” She says during the drive to the Barzal’s.

You do know this but you humor her. “Really?”

“Yup. Zoe said she spends weekends with her dad and stays with her mommy during the week,” she explains and then moves on to a different topic. You’re a little curious why she would talk about her friends’ living arrangements but when you finally pull into the driveway, your question is answered.

“Do I have to stay at Mat’s on the weekend?” She asks and if you hadn’t already parked the car, you would have hit the brakes.

“No,” you say a little too quickly and sharply because she frowns.

“How come?”

You don’t answer her question right away, getting out of the car and walking around to the other side. She’s already unbuckling her seatbelt by the time you open the door and she’s still frowning.

“Just no, Nora.”

“But Zoe does!”

You can’t explain custody agreements to a seven-year-old so you say the first excuse you can think of.

“He doesn’t live here,” you say, taking her hand and begin walking towards the house. She’s dragging her feet, clearly not happy with your response.

“Do I have to call him dad?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Just ‘cause,” you say, stopping at the door and turning to her. Her arms are crossed and she’s giving you the look that says she won’t let up until you give her an answer she wants.

“Do you want to call him dad?”

She pauses, looking down at the ground and frowning. After a moment she shakes her head.

“No, but Miss. Jones says you’re not supposed to call your mommy and daddy by their first names ‘cause it’s disrespectful.”

“It’s not up to Miss. Jones,” you say gently. “This is new, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

After a moment, she mutters a quiet “okay,” and then: “do you think Nadia has ice-cream for dessert?”

“Guess we’ll have to go inside and ask,” you reply and raise your fist to knock on the door but it swings open before you can. Liana is waiting on the other side with a big smile on her face. Nora runs straight to her and giggles when the older girl picks her up and swings her around.

“C’mon in,” Liana says, ushering you inside. So far there’s no sign of Mat so some of the tension leaves your body. After putting both yours and Nora’s shoes aside, you make your way to the kitchen. Nadia is puttering around, juggling a million things but she still smiles softly when she sees you.

“Can I help with anything?”

“You can keep me company,” she says and points to a chair. “Sit down and update me on what you’ve been up to.”

You know that you can’t argue with her so you sit and chat idly with her. She doesn’t bring up anything to do with Mat and you’re not sure what to think about it. You almost slip up and ask if he’s going to be here for dinner but decide not to. You haven’t seen him around since you arrived, so he’s probably out. Maybe with a girl.

Not that you care, obviously.

Mike eventually pokes his head in the kitchen to greet you and ask how you’ve been. He offers to set the table but Nadia shoos him out of the kitchen, rolling her eyes fondly.

“Don’t get married, they’re nothing but trouble,” she jokes but there’s a smile on her face that lingers even after her husband leaves. You always admired their relationship, and were certain that you and Mat would be like it some day but it wasn’t in the cards.

Soon, Nadia calls everyone to dinner. Nora immediately asks why Mat isn’t here and there’s an awkward silence until Liana breaks it.

“He’s busy,” she tells Nora and that must be enough because she just nods and starts eating dinner. Nothing else is said about Mat but just as you’re all finishing dessert, you hear the door open and close and there’s only one person you figure it will be.

Mat walks into the dining room, clearly caught off guard by your presence. Nora hops off her chair and darts over to him, wrapping her arms around his legs and starts chatting excitedly. He’s trying to give her all his attention but his eyes keep flickering to you.

When Nadia and Mike get up to start clearing the table and Liana asks Nora if she wants to go watch a movie, you realize that the three of them planned this. It’s almost like you’re kids again, fighting about something stupid and needing his parents to help fix the problem.

Mat looks at you a little helplessly when the room clears and it’s just the two of you. There’s no way you can yell at him with his family and Nora in the next room and you realize that was also probably planned.

“Can we talk?” he asks and you really don’t want to, but you realize that eventually you’re going to have to talk to him so you nod. You follow him out the back door and the two of you sit on the porch steps in silence until you finally break it.

“Why didn’t you come to me about what PR wanted to do? We could have figured out something together.”

He shrugs, looking at the ground. “I didn’t think to ask you about it. I just wanted to fix everything before it got complicated. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah, no shit,” you mutter. “That’s something you’re great at. You don’t think before you do anything.”

You jump when he stands up suddenly and turns to face you. He’s angry but so are you.

“No, fuck that. You can’t just expect me to do everything right, when a month ago, all I had to worry about was hockey. I can’t be number one dad overnight! You didn’t even tell me about her for six years!”

You’re a bit taken off guard by his sudden outburst but you can do anger too.

“That is the exact reason I didn’t tell you about her, Mat. Hockey is always going to come first in your life,” you snap. “And I didn’t ask you to be a number one dad, all I asked was that you be sure you wanted to be in her life before you committed to anything because this is exactly what I was worried about.”

He falters a little, probably not expecting you to return the anger.

“I didn’t want to post what they asked me to,” he says, sounding defeated. “But I didn’t know how to say no. When PR tells you to jump, you jump.”

You’ve no idea how public relations in hockey works, it’s possible that they would have posted the statement without asking Mat but you’re so damn angry. You’re angry but you don’t know who you’re even supposed to be mad at now.

“You should have come to me,” you say again. “That’s how co-parenting works, you know.”

His mouth twitches. “That’s what we were doing?”

You can feel the anger slowly dissipating. Mat’s shoulders aren’t as tense and he plops back down on the steps so you sit next to him, letting your shoulders and knees knock against his.

“Well, you are her dad,” you admit. “And she is very concerned about her future living arrangements.”

He looks at you a little confused but there’s a small smile spreading across his face.

“Does she know?”

“Yeah,” you tell him. “She’s smarter than you expect sometimes.”

“She gets that from you,” he says, poking your arm.

You roll your eyes fondly. “Well she had to get her brains from someone.”

He huffs but it sounds more like a laugh. You watch him look at the ground, brows furrowed and deep in thought.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?”

Here’s the thing that a lot of people don’t know about Mat: he doesn’t forgive himself easily. It’s something you learned the hard way when you were younger and dating.

So you know he will beat himself up over this until you forgive him.

“Yeah, but we both did.” You bump your knee against his until he looks up at you. “We can fix it, but we have to do it together.”

He holds out his pinky finger. ”Co-parenting, right?”

You hook your finger around his and nod, letting yourself relax for the first time in weeks. It’s going to take time, hard work, and you’re both going to have to learn how to trust and communicate better again but you're sure you’ll get there.

“Together,” you agree.

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lightupmyass · 2 months

Text

The Reaper and The Angel

Pairing: Shuji Hanma x Tetta Kisaki's older sister (Unmei or reader)

Warnings: slightly dark themes (ie. light stalking), possession, first time, mentions of death, size kink, praise, multiple rounds, unprotected sex

Summary: Since he was a teen, Shuji Hanma had been down bad for his friend's big sister. But, after years apart, would he finally be able to make her his after so much had changed?

A/N: Hello everybody! I wanted to post this yesterday but I was at work all day so I didn't finish it, but it's finally done! This has a bit more story than my last two, it's definitely a bit longer, but I like it a lot and I hope you do too. I'm trying to post at least once a week, mainly on Wednesday nights, but with two jobs it kinda makes things a little difficult. Anyways, here you go! Enjoy! 💜

Shuji Hanma never thought he’d be the kind of guy that could be tied down. He never thought he’d be the kind of man to love so hard it hurt. Love wasn’t something he thought he was capable of. That is, until the first time he went over to the Kisaki household.

Sixteen years old, full of rage and hormones, he felt like he was on top of the world, that he and Tetta would rule all of Japan together, maybe even the world, without anything standing in their way. “Just sit wherever you want, but if you break anything, I’ll kill you.” Tetta warned, shedding his jacket off and organizing a bit. Shuji had made himself comfortable on the bed, acting as if it were his own and lounging against the pillow. It was super neat and organized in there, but he’d expect nothing less from his friend. The dull, seemingly ordinary teen had filled his life with color, brighter than any circus. He thought life couldn’t get better than this, more exciting, so imagine his surprise when the door opened and he was blinded by the sun.

“Tetta! Mom said it’s your turn to do the dishes, you were supposed to do them right after school. I’m not gonna get bitched at because you didn’t do your part. Go get them done.” Hanma’s smile faded as he sat up, staring at the beauty in the doorway. She was short, jet black hair with blue underneath, busty chest that spilled out of the little black tank top and showed off a tattoo of flowers above her heart and shorts so short Hanma was sure if she turned around he’d see part of her ass. Fuck, was he in love?

Tetta groaned loudly, slamming his fist on the desk. “Dammit, Mei, I just got home! And I have a friend over! I’ll do it later, just get out!” He shouted. The intruder sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes, popping her hip out. “Little shit. Does it look like I fucking care? Get your shit done before mom gets home or I’m kicking your ass.” She huffed before slamming the door closed, Tetta growing in frustration. “Fucking hell, can’t she get off my back for a single fucking second? Dumb ass bitch.” He grumbled, organizing things aggressively now. “Who is that?” Shuji whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed excitedly now. “My bitch ass sister, Unmei. Be happy you’re an only child. Can’t stand her.” Tetta explained. “Hey, why don’t y-hey, where the hell are you going?” He asked, turning around to find Hanma already heading out the door.

His feet were carrying him before he could think, searching all around for her. Hanma’ caught a glimpse of the long hair turning the corner, the tall teen jogging after his new obsession. He followed her all the way to a bedroom, staying at the door while she slipped out onto the patio. Shuji watched as she sat on a chair and lit up a cigarette, feeling his knees get weak. Did he just meet his dream woman? “What the hell are you doing?” Tetta came up behind him, grabbing his shoulder. The smaller teen peaked out from behind his friend, seeing what had him in a trance and scoffing. “What is your problem? Why are you staring at her like that?” He snapped. Hanma’ sighed dreamily, smiling like a fool and resting his head against the door frame. “Kisaki, I don’t know how to tell you this but…I’m gonna fuck your sister.” Hanma clapped, Tetta not even having time to respond or stop him before Shuji was out the patio door.

Unmei looked up at him annoyed, but Shuji had a big stupid smile on his face, crossing his arms and leaning against the door to stop Tetta from sliding it open. “Can I fucking help you?” She asked, the sassy tone giving him butterflies. “Ah, you looked a little lonely out here. Thought I might come out and give you some company, beautiful.” He tried to play it cool as Tetta banged on the door. Unmei grimaced as she looked him up and down, scoffing as she took another drag of her cigarette. “I don’t need any company, shitbag. Go bother someone else.” She told him, looking at the parking lot. Hanma laughed, not one to give up as he turned to look at Tetta, giving him the finger and walking backwards to lean against the railing. “Aw, c’mon, you ain’t gotta be like that. Just tryna strike up a friendly conversation. I’ll even smoke with ya.” He insisted, Tetta crossing his arms and tilting his head to watch what unfolded patiently. Hanma lit his own cigarette, Unmei watching him blow the smoke into the air as he draped his arms over the railing. “I didn’t know Tetta had a sister. Gotta say, you definitely got the looks in the family. Why don’t you and I ditch ‘im and go for a ride? Could show ya some real nice spots.” He wiggled his eyebrows and licked his lips.

The way she looked up at him with a cocky little smirk tugging at her pretty plump lips had him thinking he had it in the bag. When she curled a finger to beckon him closer he moved instantly, leaning down in front of her and blatantly staring at her chest. Her pretty manicured fingers grabbed the collar of his shirt, tugging him down so they were face to face, Shuji feeling her breath on his lips and feeling himself tremble. Her smile faded, her pretty hazel eyes staring right into her soul as she grit her teeth. “Get. The fuck. Out of my room.” Unmei grumbled, breaking his heart as she let go of him. While he was still bent over in front of her she took another drag, blowing the smoke in his face. Before he processed it all a car door slammed from the parking lot below, Unmei looking around him and huffing out a sigh. “Unmei Kisaki, what have I told you about bringing those dangerous hoodlum boys around my house? And are you really smoking right now?” A shrill voice screeched, Hanma standing up to see a woman stomping towards the building. “I didn’t bring him, mom! It’s Tetta’s friend! They’re out here bothering me!” Unmei shouted back, getting up and pushing him back with a hand on his chest. “You liar! You! Get out of my house this instant and leave my no good daughter alone! I swear, you are a disgrace, Unmei!” Their mother started ranting as Hanma opened the door, letting Tetta hear everything. The younger muttered under his breath and stepped out, waving to the woman. “She’s right, mom! This is my friend, he’s just over so I can tutor him!” Tetta lied, their mother instantly relaxing. “Oh, alright, sweetie. Sorry about that, love! But, you should stay away from Unmei, she’s a bad influence. And put that damn cigarette out, young lady!” She called out, Unmei rolling her eyes and puffing at it again.

After that day, Hanma found every excuse he could to come over. But, it was easy to realize who was the favorite child. Tetta constantly complained about how over bearing his parents were, always encouraging him to get the best grades and always do school work. Unmei, on the other hand, was the problem child. Not that she really did anything bad, she just didn’t get good grades and hung out with some shady people sometimes. Shuji noticed she was forgetful, and she had the mouth of a sailor, but every time he was around her he fell more and more in love with her.

Their relationship never improved, he was always her little brother’s annoying friend, but he was sure he’d change that eventually. That is, until the Tenjiku and Toman fight happened. After Tetta died, he felt a hole in his heart. His life lost the color, becoming dull and boring once again. Of course, he was also a fugitive, so he couldn’t exactly make an appearance at the funeral. He did show up, though, dressed in a black hoodie and staying towards the back to avoid being seen. Of course, his eyes were on Unmei most of the time. Her long hair was pulled up out of her face, a nice blazer and skirt on as she sat behind her parents, who were sobbing. Her face was neutral, though, not a tear in her eyes as she started at the ground with a frown.

After the ceremony he’d followed her outside, seeing her sitting by herself on a bench with a cigarette. He wanted to go up to her, to say something, apologize for the part he played in the tragedy, say anything. But, he stayed back as her mother came stomping out, standing right in front of her with her hands on her hips. “Are you serious right now? Are you really smoking at your own brother’s funeral? How could you be so inconsiderate?” She yelled, slapping the stick out of Unmei’s hands. The young woman stared at the ground, face never changing. “I cannot believe I was cursed with such an ungrateful, belligerent, disappointing daughter! Y’know, maybe if you were a better influence on Tetta, none of this would have happened! I swear, you are the worst, Unmei!” Her mother cried out, turning on her heels and balling her fists at her sides. “He had so much potential. He was such a good, smart, respectful kid. It should have been you.” With those last words, she walked away, leaving Unmei to sit there in silence, remaining the same as sadness filled her eyes.

Unmei knew it was true. Of course, as much as she bickered with her brother, she loved him, and she wished she was a better influence on him. Maybe if she had done better, was closer to him, none of this would have happened. It should have been her. She’d been repeating that since it happened. But, she felt so empty, she couldn’t even react. So, she lit another cigarette and walked out, heading home to pack her bags and leave home.

Even years later, nothing had changed. She still felt nothing. She’d made ends meet at a dead end job, enough money to get her own place and buy basic things, like some food and plenty of alcohol. Day in and day out she woke up hung over, went to work, came home and ate a light meal, and drank herself to sleep. She had no friends, no aspirations, just loving day to day like a zombie, doing the bare minimum to keep herself alive even though she wanted nothing more than to die.

Shuji saw all of it. He couldn’t stop himself. The first time he visited Tetta’s grave after the incident, he promised that he’d make sure Unmei stayed safe. After that night…

“God, I hate you!” Tetta shouted as he slammed his door shut, huffing in frustration as Hanma laughed. “Mei Mei troubles again?” Tetta rolled his eyes at the little nickname he’d given his sister, plopping down onto his desk chair and tossing the bag of chips at him. “She’s so frustrating. Mom’s pissed because she doesn’t want to go to college, because she doesn’t think she’s smart enough, but I keep on telling her if she’d just apply herself and put in even the smallest effort that she could go far in life. She’s not stupid, she’s damn smart, she’s just so lazy and doesn’t believe in herself at all.” Tetta complained. “Weeeeell do you think maybe that’s because your mom always calls her a dumb piece of shit? Could be a possibility.” Hanma pointed out. “Mom only says that because she’s lazy and doesn’t want to do anything. Maybe if she acted as smart as she is, there wouldn’t be a problem. I just wish she’d start believing in herself a little. I’m worried she’s gonna end up on the street or in some shitty relationship relying on a man because she doesn’t think she can do anything on her own.” Tetta sighed. Hanma grinned wickedly, rocking side to side and laughing. “Aaawww, you wuv your big sister, don’t you?” He teased, Tetta’s face flushing red as he got embarrassed. “Shut the hell up! I’m tried of your dumb ass.” He huffed as he threw a half empty water bottle at his friend.

Shuji knew how much Tetta actually cared about his sister, so his first visit to his grave he promised to keep an eye on her. And he did, a close eye on her, even if she didn’t know. He made sure she got home safe every night, kept guys away from her, even got her the job she had after “convincing” the owner. She never had any boyfriends, he made sure of that. None of the guys he saw her talking to looked good enough for her, so he made sure they didn’t think they had a chance. Did he think he was good enough? Absolutely not. But, he’d be damned if she was going to end up with someone that didn’t meet the standards her brother had for her.

“God dammit.” Unmei groaned loudly as she poured the last of her whiskey into the can of Pepsi. She didn’t realize she was almost out, which meant if she wanted to get wasted tonight she’d have to go out and get more. Reluctantly, she shrugged on a jacket and slipped her shoes on, grabbing her keys and heading out the door. It was a simple walk, not too far away and one she did often. The liquor store was only 3 blocks away, but of course she kept her knife in her bra, always keeping it on her just in case. Unmei was always paranoid, always thinking someone was watching her. Whenever she was out, whenever she went home, at work, even at home, it felt like the eyes of the world were fixed on her, watching her every move.

She paid the man at the counter, bottle in a paper bag in her hand as she stepped outside, looking everywhere to check her surroundings. The night air slipped it’s way down her jacket, giving her a shiver as she bundled up with her free hand in her pocket. It wasn’t that far of a walk, she could be safe at home in about 10 minutes if she walked fast enough. Behind her, she jumped as she heard the sound of men laughing and giggling like school girls, Unmei looking over her shoulder to see the group. It was about 5 of them, maybe just out of high school. One of them was looking right at her, nudging his friend in the gut to get his attention and whispering to him, bringing all of their attention to her. Her body ran cold as her chest tightened, her feet moving faster as she tried to rush home.

Footsteps behind her got louder and faster, Unmei panting as she began to sprint down the street, hearing the laughing and calling out to her, telling her to stop and slow down. She was terrified, her heart racing as she ran. There was no telling what could happen if they caught up, she was incredibly outnumbered and outmatched. Tears spring into her eyes as she prayed she’d make it home okay.

The loud engine from a motorcycle came roaring down the street, Unmei watching the headlight get closer and closer as she hoped whoever was driving would notice. The bike came to a screeching halt right in front of her, Unmei stopping in her tracks as the tall figure dressed in all black revved the engine. “Unmei! Get on!” The deep voice called out to her, the footsteps behind still approaching. She didn’t have time to think, the man getting off and helping her sit down before he turned to the group, who had now come to a stop and began chattering amongst themselves. Unmei frowned as her savior let his hood fall down, the long black hair confusing her as he cracked his knuckles. Did she know that voice? And this bike, hadn’t she seen it before? Where did she know it from?

Hanma chuckled as he stepped closer to the group, the one in the middle stepping forward. “Look man, he ain’t mean no trouble. Just wanted to talk to the girl.” The young man insisted, putting his hands up in defense. Unmei watched as the bike owner swung without a second thought, knocking her pursuer out in one hit. The next few minutes were a blur, Hanma moving fast and quickly taking them all out while laughing, having more fun than he had in years. His light was back in his life, the long and dark night had ended the moment she looked at him, his sun rising above the horizon once more. As soon as they were all laid out on the ground he rushed back to his bike, getting on behind her and feeling how small she was against his body. “Grab the handlebars and hold tight.” He told her, Unmei tucking her bottle between her legs and doing as he said. His large hands engulfed hers, Unmei’s eyes going wide when she saw the tattoos, her heart skipping when she realized who it was while he revved the engine. “Shuji?” She whimpered quietly as he sped away.

He brought her back to her place without even asking, Unmei getting a sinking feeling in her gut when he parked. “You alright? They didn’t touch you, right?” He asked as he turned off the bike, helping her off carefully. Unmei was panting still, looking up at him and having the tilt her head all the way back. The golden eyes she knew so well looked down at her, long blond bangs framing his thin face as he tucked his hands into his jacket pockets, keeping her between him and his bike. “Shuji? Hanma? Is that really you? I-Its been so long, I-I don’t…” She whispered, shaking her head as she tried to process his presence. Hanma laughed, the sound giving her tingles all over. What was that feeling in her chest? “Its me, Mei Mei. It’s been a while, I know. You’re not hurt, right? Did they say anything to you?” He asked, pinching her chin to examine her face and make sure there weren’t any marks. “N-No, but…where the hell did you come from? How did you…how did you bring me home?” She asked, looking around her parking lot. “Your home? You live here too? I gotta friend that stays on the fourth floor, I was just driving by and saw you getting chased so I figured I’d help out and bring you back to a safe place. That’s all.” He lied. He lied through his teeth, so quick he even surprised himself. There was no way he could tell her he was watching her, that he knew how to get to her house from anywhere in the city. And of course she would believe it, because what other explanation would there be? “Oh, really? Wow, what a coincidence. I live on the third. I was just going to pick something up from the store, but when I left these guys started chasing me, and I was so scared. I’m glad you showed up, Shuji.” Unmei smiled at him, her first genuine smile in years. It blinded him, his heart melting as he smiled back. “Me too. I’m glad you’re okay, Mei Mei. Well, I should probably get back upstairs, my friend is waiting for me. See you around, yeah?” Shuji knew what he was doing. He was acting cool, nonchalant, knowing exactly how she would react.

As he turned on his heel, Unmei felt her heart drop, her breath hitching as she reached out for him. “W-Wait!” She gasped, grabbing him by the back of the jacket and keeping him there. “Hey, um, do you…maybe…wanna come over for a bit? It’s been so long, there’s so much to catch up on. Besides, I just got a new bottle. Have a few drinks with me?” She asked, her voice sweet as honey as he slowly turned around. Hanma looked her up and down, admiring her up close for the first time in years. She’d let her natural hair grow out and cut off all the dye, the dirty blonde hair falling in waves just barely pushing past her shoulders. The golden frames of her round glasses sat on the bridge of her nose so elegantly, she was looking more and more like her brother every day.

Hanma let out an exaggerated sigh, looking behind him at a random door. “I dunno, my friend’s been waiting for me for a while. Probably wondering where I am.” He frowned, looking back down at her and seeing the absolute disappointment on her face. How cute. “B-But…it’s been so long since I’ve seen you…and there’s so much to catch up on. Ever since we found out what happened and that you left I’ve been so worried about you, I didn’t know if you were alive or not, it scared me. I’ve missed you, Shu.” Unmei whispered. Hanma felt like he was on cloud nine as she looked up at him with those pretty doe eyes, knowing he was still wrapped around her finger. “I don’t have any friends, never had a boyfriend, my parents haven’t talked to me since the funeral, I’m so alone.” Her body began to shake, the weight of it all taking over her as her eyes filled with tears. She was alone, she had no one. But now, there was someone she wanted around right in front of her, and he wanted to leave too? It was too much for her to handle, just the thought of not being wanted by him anymore sending her into a downward spiral. She always knew that he had the biggest crush on her. At first it was annoying, but then it turned kind of sweet. Then, everything happened and he disappeared, so by the time she was willing to come to terms with the fact that she had feelings for him, he was gone, supposedly forever. But now he was here again, and she had to beg for him to stay, she couldn’t let him leave.

Shuji smiled, stepping closer to her and gently placing a finger under her chin, tilting her head back to look at him properly as he towered over her. “Well, looks like you could use some company, beautiful.” He whispered, Unmei feeling her knees get weak as she smiled and giggled, remembering when they first met.

She led him up to her apartment, her stomach swarming with butterflies this whole time. It’d be a lie to say he didn’t get hotter. When he was young, the stupid up-do of his annoyed her sometimes, but the first time she saw him with his hair down after he’d taken a shower at their place, she realized maybe he wasn’t so ugly after all. But now, he was so much older, and the shoulder length hair was definitely working for him. Of course, the bags under his eyes an obvious sign he wasn’t sleeping well and making him look years older. Where was he even staying? Did he work? She had so many questions, but she couldn’t find the words as she kicked her shoes off. “Sorry, it’s not much. You can make yourself comfortable though.” She told him, setting the bottle on the counter and grabbing some glasses. Hanma looked around, interested to finally see the inside of her place. It really wasn’t much, just a kitchen that lead to the bedroom/living area, and a door he assumed lead to the bathroom, but it was cozy. It smelled nice as well, and it was pretty clean.

Unmei felt him move behind her, his hand resting on her hip as he pushed past her, making her toes curl as her body heated up from just having him so close. He heard her breath hitch, smiling to himself as he let his hand drag across her back before he made his way into the other room. It was decorated to the bare minimum, just a small dead plant in the window and a few manga on the shelf next to the TV. Very basic, but still cozy. He made himself comfortable on the floor, leaning against the bed and waiting for her to come in with two glasses and the bottle she just bought in here hand. “I hope you like whiskey, it’s the only thing I really drink.” She laughed nervously, setting it all down on the kotatsu and sitting down. Hanma laughed, smiling at her to relax her. “Whiskey is my favorite.” He told her, grabbing the glass she set in front of him and holding it up so she could pour into it.

It was silent for a bit, an awkward tension filling the air as Unmei looked around anxiously, unsure of what to say. One drink in silence turned into two, then by the third Hanma finally spoke up, tilting his head and smirking as he looked at her. “You bring me up here just to drink or did you wanna talk about something?” He asked, Unmei sitting up straight with wide eyes and gulping. She did wanna talk, she really did. “Sorry. I just…I don’t know what to say. Still kind of in shock you’re actually here. How…how have you been? Where have you been? What are you doing nowadays?” She asked, crossing her legs and bringing them to her chest. “Ah, this and that, been all over. Still on the run, y’know. Just keeping a low profile.” He sighed, twirling the glass and making the ice clink. “Right. I’m sure you’d probably get a lot of time for what happened. Our parents couldn’t believe Tetta played a part in what happened to that girl. Shima? Sora? I don’t remember. They dismissed it like it never happened, even when the cops insisted he did it.” Unmei said sadly, hanging her head low. “Sano. Emma Sano. And, don’t put the blame on him. Her own brother’s the one that made us do it. It wasn’t Tetta’s fault.” He lied.

The words made Unmei’s bottom lip quiver. Was that really true? Did her brother die from being someone’s puppet? “Who was it? Who made him do it?” She asked, looking back up at him as her breath shook. She saw his eyes darken as he frowned, the man letting out a deep sigh. “Izana Kurokawa. He was the leader of the group we were in. He died that day too.” He told her. Unmei could feel the world crash down around her. So, not only was her little brother used by this guy, but he was dead, so she couldn’t even get revenge? It hurt, she had no outlet for her anger. “Fucking shit. Why did he…why did it…fuck…” Unmei’s voice cracked as she felt a rush of grief for the first time in years. Every day had been dull and boring and emotionless, but now everything she’d pushed down the last few years instantly came flooding back, overwhelming her as tears spilled down her cheeks.

Hanma lunged forward, wrapping her up in his arms and gripping her hoodie as she gasped loudly, surprised by his embrace, his warmth. Was this what it really felt like to be hugged? It’d been so long, she forgot what such a touch felt like. “Its alright, beautiful. I’ve got you. You can let it out.” He cooed, Unmei whimpering as her lip quivered again. She wouldn’t have been able to hold it back even if she wanted to. Her arms wrapped around him as her face buried into his shoulder, muffled sobs and cries breaking his heart while her nails clawing at his back to keep him close made him feel other things.

“I know, baby. I know. I miss him too. But it’s not your fault, no matter what anyone says. You’re a good big sister, he loved you a lot.” Hanma whispered, hearing her wail and stroking her hair. How would that make her feel better? It just hurt more, her heart breaking into pieces. She loved her brother so much, why did he have to die so young? He had so much potential, he could’ve done amazing things, and this is what fate had in store for him? He could’ve been successful, he could’ve had a family, she could’ve been an aunt. But now all of the dreams she had for him were gone, any hope to see the boy she helped raise grow up washed away. “It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. He was so much better than me, so much better.” She cried out, Hanma pulling back a bit to look at her properly. Her face was completely red, soaked with tears and bangs a mess from being smashed against him. “Darling, no. Can’t think like that. You shouldn’t die either. Tetta would’ve been crushed if you did. He had so many big plans for you, so many dreams. He wanted to see you grow up and be happy, get a good job and meet a nice man, have a nice family. If you died instead, he wouldn’t have be able to live with himself. He’d have been broken.” Hanma explained, cupping her cheeks and wiping her tears away. Unmei stared at him in shock, her pretty lips parted as he wiped at the corners of them. “He…had dreams…for me?” She whispered, grabbing at his jacket and balling the fabric up in her tiny fists. “Of course. He wanted you to have the world, Unmei. Told me all the time how much potential he saw in you. He knew you could do great things, he wanted to see you thrive in life.”

The words hit her so deep. All of these years she wanted the best for her little brother, he wanted the same for her, and what did she have to show for it? If he was still alive, he’d be so disappointed, she knew that. Hanma saw her about to lose it again, shushing her and grabbing her by the waist. He tugged her onto his lap, holding her tight with a hand splayed on her back and the other tangling in her hair. She was so in shock from the action she didn’t even cry, her eyes like saucers as she sat in his lap, straddling him as he held her like his life depended on it. He was so big, so warm, his embrace completely surrounding her and giving her more comfort and safety than she’d ever felt in her life. “I know. I miss him too. So damn much. Everyday I wake up and think ‘I should’ve been with him’. ‘It should’ve been me’. It’s just not fuckin’ fair.” Unmei let out a shaky breath as she felt his body tremble against hers, his deep voice cracking as he gripped her hoodie. She never even thought about it before, but Shuji was the best friend Tetta ever had, he was there when it all happened. Why did she never consider he might be hurting just as much as she was, maybe even more? She frowned as she slowly reached up, stroking his long hair as his face buried in her neck, the quick, shaky breaths that fanned over her skin making her weak. “I know. It’s okay now. You’re here now, Shuji. Don’t have to feel alone anymore.” She cooed, brushing his hair out with her fingers.

Unmei felt so small in his grasp, Hanma slightly worried if he squeezed any tighter she might break. He always dreamed of holding her like this, to be so close and feel her warmth, smell her perfume, or cologne more like. She smelled amazing, like lavender and musk, but in a way that wasn’t overwhelming, it fit her perfectly. Everything fit her perfectly. She was perfect. There was nothing he wanted more in the world that to hold her forever. Even his guilt didn’t stop his heart from pounding, the gentle thrum of her own pulse beating against his temple. He wasn’t alone. He was with her. Neither of them would ever be alone if he had a say in it.

He pulled back a bit, his face hovering next to hers as time slowed. She could feel his hot breath, the goosebumps that formed on her skin as he turned his head, nose nudging against her cheek. Unmei pulled back to look at him, her eyes scanning his face as he leaned in closer, their lips almost touching. It felt like the world stopped, all of their grief and anguish melted away as a fire burned brightly between them, tension rising. “Not alone anymore…because I’m here with you…all I’ve ever wanted…” He whispered, moving his hand from the back of her head to her jaw, cupping it gently and brushing his thumb over her cheek. Her entire being melted, unable to help the whimper that escaped as she looked into his half lidded eyes. “Shu…I…you…” She whispered. Her heart was racing, chest heaving and body aching, for his touch, for his warmth, for all of him. She’d never felt need like this before, never had the desire or passion. All he had to do was look at her and nothing else mattered, all she cared about was that he was finally there with her, and that’s all she needed.

Nothing was going to stop him now. He had her exactly where he wanted her, in his arms, under his finger tips, and he was never going to let go. The moment he leaned in, he felt his heart beating like a drumroll, years of waiting and craving all leading up to this moment. He’d never wanted anything in life as badly as he wanted her. Every morning he’d wake up wishing she was beside him, every minute that passed of the day he wanted to be by her side. Every night he dreamt of her, holding her close, touching her all over, feeling her soft skin under his calloused hands and tasting her everywhere. She’d consumed his mind without even knowing it, the thought of her being with anyone besides him eating away at him day in and day out. From day one she belonged to him, he knew it in his heart and in his soul. Unmei was his, and now the time had finally come where he would give his all to her, and take everything she had in return.

The moment their lips touched, Unmei felt the years of loneliness and suffering wash away like a waterfall pouring over her. Everything that Shuji was flowed through her as he moved his lips, Unmei becoming worried. She put a hand on his chest, pushing him back gently as he begrudgingly let their lips part. “What’s the matter, baby? Going too fast for ya?” He asked, a little out of breath. “No, no it’s good. I just…I don’t really know how to kiss. Only kissed one person before, and that was years ago. Scared I’m not gonna be good enough.” Her voice was small as she confessed, her head turning away and eyes fixed on her bed. Fuck, how did she not know what he was doing to him? Just the thought of her kissing someone else sent him over the edge, his body moving before she could react. He picked her up with ease, sitting on her bed with his back to the wall and his hand on her hips as he pushed her down onto his lap again, grip firm as she squealed. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of everything. Just do whatever feels right for you and I promise you’ll feel good. Alright?” His lips curled into a smile, her toes curling while his hand trailed up underneath her hoodie, rough fingers trailing over her back and tracing up her spine. She let out a soft sigh, her head rolling back and showing off her neck to him, Shuji just picturing how pretty it’ll look once he’s covered her perfect skin in his marks. Unmei nodded, looking back at him and cupping his cheeks while giving him a sweet smile. “If it’s you, I’ll do anything. Just wanna be with you, Shuji.” She whispered to him, her radiance blinding him.

With that, she leaned in again, initiating the kiss this time but letting him take over instantly, Hanma guiding her and easing her into it. A million thoughts ran through his head, all the ways he could take her, claim her, make sure she never thought of anyone else besides him. Maybe he was being selfish, but he honestly didn’t think he was. It’d been a long time coming, and he knew he loved her from the very start. He'd been so good the whole time, keeping his distance, making sure he didn’t make her uncomfortable, respecting boundaries. Okay, well, the last part was a lie. The boarder line stalking could be a boundary cross, but she didn’t know about it, so was it really that bad? He was only protecting her, he was doing a good thing, right? Whatever, it didn’t matter, because she was in his arms now, kissing him with so much passion and need, he could barely tell she was a beginner. She followed his lead easily, catching on quick and moving against his lips gently. His hands roamed her body, fingertips grazing all over her back and sides as she trembled, letting out a shaky breath while her hips bucked against him subconsciously.

Hanma was aching, dying to feel her more each time she grinded over the tent in his pants. She might not have even known what she was doing to him, the effect she had. The roll of her hips stuttered as she moaned softly, her toes curling and head falling back. Shuji thought the was a perfect opportunity, needing to hear more of the pretty sounds. Every night he’d dreamt of what she might sound like when he’s making her feel good, if she was a moaner or a curser or a whiner, maybe all three. The soft gasps now were good, but not good enough. The desire to hear more tipped him over the edge as he moved her to straddle his leg, pushing her down onto his thigh and rocking her against it as he licked a long stripe up her neck.

“Ny-ah! Fuck!” Unmei squeaked, gripping his shoulders as she shook on top of him. It made his brain and heart melt to hear her like this, the sound so cute to him. He tugged on her hips, pressing his thigh up into her as he moved her while licking, kissing and sucking all over her neck. It was driving her wild. Unmei didn’t know how much she’d like neck kisses, but they might become her favorite thing. Especially when the tip of his tongue flicked over a particular spot just under her jaw like a snake, her hand moving to the back of his head. “There. Right there feels real good.” She moaned, Shuji wiggling his eyebrows as he nipped and sucked at the spot. Her hips bucked sharply, his thigh pressing up into her again as pleasure surged through her Unmei moaned loudly, losing herself while grinding on him. His leg was on the skinnier side, but it was firm under her, and even through their pants it was more friction than she’d ever felt before. It made her head spin, face turning pink as she leaned back to look at him with a sultry face that was almost porn worthy.

Shuji smiled, his thumbs tracing the bottom of her bra. “Feeling good, pretty girl?” He asked, watching her hips roll. The nickname made her heart flutter, an adorable smirk forming on her pretty lips as she nodded. “Really good. Don’t wanna stop.” She admitted breathlessly. “Good. Don’t stop. Feel good, baby. Lemme see how pretty you look when you lose your fucking mind.” He encouraged, slipping her hoodie up over her head and making quick work of her bra, staring shamelessly at her chest. “Fuuuuck…god you’re so fuckin’ beautiful. Better than I dreamed of.” He whispered, almost to himself. But, Unmei stopped for a moment, staring at him with her lips parted. “Dreamed of? You dreamed of me?” She asked softly, Shuji looking up at her as he groped her breasts. “Every night, doll. Always been my dream girl. Drove me fucking crazy, would probably get embarrassed from all the things I dreamt of doing to you.” He chuckled.

Something inside of her snapped, a cord splitting apart as she whimpered, remembering all thee things she wanted him to do to her. All the nights wanting his hands on her, the fantasies of him being buried inside of her instead of the toy she had. Wondering if he was bigger, if he’d be better, if he’d be able to make her feel better than she did. Her hands moved without much thought, stripping him out of his jacket before lifting his shirt up, tossing it wherever hers ended up and running her hands over his bare chest. It was so warm, so firm under her dainty fingers, she couldn’t help but whimper as she imagined how much stronger he was, how he could probably manhandle her. Their size difference was definitely one of her favorite things about him, her mind wandering to how easily he could pick her up, pin her down, it made her hips move again just thinking about it. “Would it be bad if I said I thought stuff about you too?” She asked softly, doe eyes looking at him with such innocence he thought he’d lose his mind. “Yeah?” He hummed, putting a large hand on the small of her back to help her with her movements. “Like what?” Hanma asked, desperate to know. Unmei smiled and giggled, her hand moving to the back of his neck and twirling his hair around her finger. “Whatever you want.” She told him teasingly, watching his eyes darken as his smile faded.

Within seconds Unmei was on her back, Hanma nestled between her legs and pressing her hard into the mattress. His breathing got heavier, Unmei squirming and staring up at him with her chest heaving. “Do you want that, sweetheart? Want me to have my way with you? Gotta warn you, I’ll go easy, but it won’t be gentle. You sure you wanna try and take me on?” He asked, his tone dropping as his fingers traced up her arms, hands moving to lace with hers and pressing them into the bed. She looked so pretty under him, all of his fantasies in the palm of his hands, so close he could almost taste it. But, he wouldn’t do it unless he knew she wanted him just as bad, as long as he knew she knew she belonged to him and only him. When she nodded how knees almost gave out, the little smile making his chest tight. “Want you, Shuji. Always wanted you. Just make me yours already, I don’t care what you do. Just, please, hurry. Aching for you, almost hurts.” Her voice cracked as her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him down to grind against her. Hanma groaned loudly, eyes screwing shut as he pressed hard into her, letting her feel all of him and dying to feel her wrapped around him. A dark smile spread across his lips, making her heart skip as he looked down at her. “Don’t worry, Unmei. I’ll give you everything you need. Gonna make you mine.” He grumbled, giving her goosebumps as his lips hovered over hers.

He kissed her again, grabbing her by the jaw and prying her mouth open to slip his tongue inside, swallowing her moan and using his other hand hiked her leg up, fingers digging into her thigh as he rocked his hips. His head was already dizzy, her soft and tiny body under him giving him such a wild sense of strength and power. He got the go ahead, he could do what he wanted, and what he really wanted right now was to see how she looked when she came, even if it was just from a little dry humping. She was almost too innocent, moaning and whimpering like crazy from the steady, firm movements. It made him wonder how loud she’d be when he filled her up, how tight she’d be when he finally slipped inside. Could she handle his rough thrusts? Would she scream his name? How many times would she have to cum before he broke her mind? He’d find out soon enough, apparently.

Unmei was already feeling the warmth bubbling in her tummy, nails scraping at his biceps as their tongues swirled together. Just the feeling of the bulge rubbing against her had her seeing stars, vivid colors splashing over the back of her eyelids as she drowned in him. She wanted to lose her mind, to only think of him, be his completely. Nothing else mattered to her. Years of loneliness, longing and worrying for him, it all washed away, only the tidal wave of pleasure consuming her as he moved faster. He bit her bottom lip as her old bed began to creak, her whole body moving from the sheer force of his grinds. “Mmnah, Mnu…ni…mnood, mm fuh…” She babbled between the heated kisses, her hips bucking up against him as her chest heaved. He could feel her shaking, toes curling against the back of his legs as his cock twitched in his pants.

He pulled back from her lips to get a good look at her face, her eyelids fluttering open as her eyes crossed slightly behind her glasses, lips hung open for bated breaths and soft whimpers to spill out. “So pretty, baby. Cum for me. It’s alright. C’n cum like this, then I can stretch you out real nice, get you ready to take my cock. Want that? Wanna feel these insida you?” He asked, holding his long fingers in front of her face. They were almost twice the size of hers, her heart and pussy fluttering at the thought as she nodded. His fingertips tapped at her bottom lip, her tongue sticking out to graciously accept his middle and ring finger into her mouth as her lips wrapped around them, sucking and swirling her tongue around them while she moaned. Hanma was afraid he’d cum just from the sight, burning it into his memory. Her innocence was slipping, being completely destroyed by him so quickly as she turned into a lewd mess, tits bouncing with each thrust of his hips.

Unmei felt the build up, the snap, her legs squeezing around him as the ecstasy flowed through her like a big wave, swallowing her and mind turning to mush as she crumbled. Her body twitched and shook as her mouth hung open, a loud moan echoing through the room while he rocked her through it, Hanma’s eyes fixed on her beautiful face. It was the best thing he’d ever seen, watching her completely lose herself almost sending him over the edge. But he couldn’t, not yet. He had to hold back, keep his own desire under control until he was inside of her, until he could fill her up so full he’d never doubt his ownership over her. Slowly he eased up, only stopping when her breaths slowed and her body relaxed, kissing her over her neck and collar bone as she came down. Unmei let out a breathy laugh, a big smile on her face as she takes her fingers through her hair. Shuji sucked at her neck, feeling her press her body against his before he pulled off with a pop. “Ready for more, baby?” He asked, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Unmei giggled and nodded, pushing his long hair behind his ear as she admired his features. He’d definitely changed since she last saw him, his baby face changing and becoming manlier, cheeks hallowed a bit more and jawline sharper. She was in love, she could already feel it. There was nothing she wanted more than all of him. “’m ready. Want more, Shu.” She agreed, making him smile.

He kissed down her body, licking and sucking and leaving marks in his wake as he grabbed the waistband of her leggings, slowly dragging them down the length of her legs. Her legs closed from embarrassment as her cheeks reddened, gulping hard as she suddenly became nervous. Sure, she wanted him, wanted to be his, but she was still self conscious. No one had ever seen this much of her before, so of course it’d make her anxious. Hanma rubbed her calf as he sat back, looking her up and down and feeling a deep, feral urge to ruin her bubbling inside of her. Like a little bunny at the mercy of a ravenous wolf, he was salivating as his hunger for her became insatiable. He chuckled darkly, moving his hands up and down her legs. “Don’t get shy now, baby girl. Want me to give you everything, lemme see all of you.” He cooed, tilting his head curiously as she turned hers to the side. Unmei took a deep breath, hiding behind her arms as she let her legs spread, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

Lucky for her, Shuji wasn’t looking at her face. When she opened up for him his eyes were fixed on her glistening core, tongue poking out to lick his lips as he let out a shaky breath. He dropped onto the bed, face hovering over her as he put her legs over his broad shoulders, Unmei gasping when she felt his hot breath on her skin. She sat up, seeing the hungry look in his eyes and gripping the sheets. “W-What are you doing? Why are you so close? It’s embarrassing.” She whined. She earned a sharp, warning look from him, making her squirm. “Embarrassing? Baby, you’ve got the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen. Don’t be embarrassed. Can’t wait to be all the way inside of…here.” He hummed, slipping his middle finger knuckle deep into her, watching her head fall back as she moaned. It was a new and strange feeling, Hanma not waiting to begin pumping it in and out. She’d tried to finger herself, but her fingers were so small it never felt good enough. The depth he reached, the way he curled it, she was losing herself already.

Hanma stared at her hole swallowing his digit, feeling her tight walls pulse with her heartbeat as he felt all around. It was hypnotizing, addicting, his mouth salivating at her essence soaking his skin. She was a mess just from the little friction, drenched and inner thighs glistening as she clenched and twitched around him. He was so hard it hurt, so he was going to have to make quick work of this so he could finally get some release. He slipped another finger inside, curling against the perfect spot that had her back arching and thighs trembling around him. “Fuck! There, feels so good there. Fuck, don’t stop, Shuji.” She moaned so pretty, egging him on as he dipped down and flattened her tongue over her clit.

The feeling was indescribable. Every nerve in her body tingled as he swirled his tongue around her sensitive bud, her hands instantly flying to his head as her legs curled up. If she cared enough, she would be worried the neighbors could hear how loud she moaned. But, at this point, nothing else mattered except the pleasure she felt coarsing through her body. “Ah! Oh my go-ahd! Fucking shit!” Unmei squealed, pushing his head down and keeping him in place as her hips bucked. That’s exactly what he wanted, for her to give into her desires and feel good. He lapped and sucked at her clit, slipping a third finger in and stretching her out, the sloppy, messy sounds filling the room almost as much as her moans. Her body ached, chest tightening and she felt that build up again, coming faster than she expected as she felt herself teetering on the edge. He was moving fast, too quick for her to even grasp what was happening as he pulled his fingers out and wrapped his arms around her legs, holding her tight against his mouth.

She tasted better than any sweet he’d ever had, he couldn’t help but lose his composure as he ate her like a mad man, slurping up every drop she gave him and tongue fucking her fast, loving the way her legs squeezed around him and her fingers tugged at his hair. Unmei looked down to see his tatted hands wrapped around her thighs, his head shaking side to side as he looked up at her for a moment, catching her gaze and winking up at her. She whined, her heart melting as pleasure and love swept over her too fast for her, her body coming undone a second time as she shook violently. It was more intense than before as his wet muscle continued to squirm around, drawing circles into the pulsating nub. Of course, he had to spell his name on her clit as she came. Would she really be his if he didn’t? Even if she was gasping for air, even with her toes curling against his back and her voice cracking while she tried to push his head away, he took his time and traced out every letter from the H to the I. Only then was he satisfied, giving her soft kisses everywhere as he finally let her relax.

Unmei was relieved once he stopped, her hips still circling as he gently licked her clean and kissed all over her inner thighs while rubbing her legs and hips soothingly. Hanma gradually kissed his way up her body until he was hovering over her again, his lips and chin glistening with her essence. “Fuck, you taste so good, angel. Wanna spend the rest of my life buried in your legs.” He chuckled breathlessly. Unmei whimpered and rolled her body again, desperate for more while Hanma dipped down, brushing his nose against hers. “Want something else buried in ya now though, don’t ya baby? How bad do you want this?” He asked, grinding against her sensitive cunt. His jeans were rough, making her cry out from the friction as sweat began forming on her hairline. She only nodded, trying to tug him closer and nails scraping at his back as she panted. Hanma laughed tauntingly, grabbing her by the jaw and keeping her head still as her lust-blown pupils stared up at him pathetically “Don’t tell me you lost your words already, little one.” Shuji teased, pinching her cheeks together and watching the light in her eyes shift. Her body trembled as the nickname did something to her deep inside, setting a blaze in her as she completely melted under him. He saw it, he knew it, and he was going to toy with it.

“Oh? What’s that look for? Don’t tell me you like that. Got a size kink or something?” He hummed deeply, letting go of her face and dragging his large hand down her torso. Unmei bit her lips shut, turning her head to the side out of embarrassment, unable to find the words. She didn’t have to admit it, it was obvious he was right. “You do, don’t you? Dirty little girl. My teeny, tiny baby.” He whispered, leaning back down and smiling as his lips hovered above hers. He felt her shaky breaths on his skin, running his hands up and down her body as he completely engulfed her, mind wandering to how they must look from above. In his head, all he could see was him and her legs helplessly wrapped around him, the thought alone sending him into overdrive. “Don’t be embarrassed, sweetheart. I like it too. So tiny, could just pick ya up and fuck you on my cock with no effort. Honestly might not even be able to fit inside, little pussy probably can’t even handle me.” His hips grinded again, Unmei feeling the outline of him and thinking he might be right. But, she was more than willing to try. “No, wanna try. Please, Shu. Need you. Please.” She begged breathlessly, her fingers tangling in his hair as her bare chest pressed against his. The need in her voice told him it was time, neither of them could wait any longer. “Alright, alright. Gonna go slow, though. Tell me if you need me to stop.”

Hanma sat back to unzip his pants, grabbing hold of his length and groaning loudly. After all this time enjoying her, he was aching, leaking and twitching from his own touch as he throbbed. Unmei watched with her lips parted, tingles spreading through her body as she wondered how she’d ever be able to take that. He was huge, of course, long and thick, the angry red tip intimidating her. He was going to break her in half, but the thought kind of excited her. Precum coated the palm of his hand as he stroked himself, looking down at her with hungry, hooded eyes. “You ready for all of this, baby?” He smirked, Unmei’s heart skipping a beat, throat tightening as she swallowed hard. “W-Wait. You’re gonna use protection, right?” She finally found her voice, looking up at him nervously and closing her legs a bit. He was afraid this would be an issue. Welp, time to be a little toxic.

Shuji frowned, putting a hand by her head and giving her puppy dog eyes while leaning over her. “Unmei, I’ve been waiting for this for so long. Never been with anyone else before, only ever wanted you. Now that I finally have you, now that I can make you mine forever, I don’t want anything getting in the way of feeling all of you. Don’t you want that too? To be completely one and have nothing separating us? Don’t you want me?” He asked, sounding heartbroken with his voice slightly cracking. Unmei gasped, Shuji playing her heartstrings like a harp. “Of course I do. Want all of you, Shuji. But I just…what if something happens? I don’t think either of us are in a position to deal with the consequences if I got pregnant or something.” She pointed out, draping her arms around his broad shoulders. Hanma sighed, cupping her cheek and kissing her forehead. “Don’t worry, that won’t happen. I’ll pull out, I promise. Please, Unmei?” He begged. How could she say no to that face? Unmei pulled him down into a kiss, sighing sweetly into his mouth as he crumbled for her. “Okay. I’m okay with it. Just be careful, okay?” She smiled, Hanma overjoyed. He laughed and kissed her back excitedly before pulling back and looking at her with hearts in his eyes. “Don’t worry, Unmei. Gonna give you everything, make sure you feel amazing. Just take deep breaths and relax for me, yeah?”

He held himself in his hand again, looking down to watch her spreading her legs further for him and guiding himself to her entrance. His tip rubbed along her folds, the slickness making his breath hitch while Unmei squirmed. He’d never felt happier, the excitement and anticipation drumming through him as his heart beat faster and faster. Years of waiting, imagining, dreaming of this moment, and it was finally here. So much work he’d done to protect her, keep her safe and pure and his was finally paying off, but he had to make sure he didn’t let the joy get the best of him. Patience was key, and even though he wanted to pound into her more than anything, he had to get her used to him, let her stretch to take him and ease into it. The moment he popped his tip inside, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold back. Unmei cried out, back arching off the bed as she grabbed the sheets, the stretch from that alone almost splitting her open. “Fuck! Breathe for me, baby. It’s alright.” Shuji groaned, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers as he pinned it down.

She was gasping for air, eyelids screwed shut as her head trashed side to side. “No no no no no, too big, too much, I don’t think I can do it.” She whined, tears filling her eyes from the heartbreak. After all this time, all the years of saving herself and keeping herself pure for the one she loved, it hurt to know that she wouldn’t be good enough for him, that she couldn’t even take him as he already stretched her to her limit. “Ssshhhh sh sh sh sh, relax, Unmei.” Shuji cooed, kissing her cheeks and jaw as she choked on a sob. “’m sorry, Shu. I’m so sorry. I-I don’t think I-“ “You can do it, I know you can.” He encouraged her, nudging her nose with his. “I promise, you can take it. Don’t be sorry. Just keep breathing for me. Nice and slow.” He pushed in just a little bit further, Unmei wrapping herself around him and clinging onto him for dear life while her head pushed back into the pillow. Hanma was holding back so much, he didn’t even know he was capable of being so cautious. But, in all honesty, he wouldn’t be able to push all the way in yet, even though he wanted to so bad. She was so damn tight, even though he played with her. Her walls were squeezing him like a vice grip, just barely letting him give her shallow thrusts to ease into her bit by bit.

Unmei tried to control her breathing, to slow it down and stop crying. She thought after using her toy for so long, it might’ve made it easier. But, he was way bigger than that, so her preparation had been fruitless. Nothing could’ve prepared her for this, and she was scared and excited at the same time, tears dripping down her temples. She was completely wrapped around him, legs locked on his waist and arms around his shoulders. Shuji’s face was buried in her neck as he groaned and gripped the sheets, steadily pushing in just a bit further. “Doing so good for me, gorgeous. Half way there. Takin’ it like a champ. ‘m so proud of you.” He praised, lips pressed to her skin. Unmei choked on a sob as the pain and pleasure bubbled together. It hurt, but it was such an amazing feeling as well. The heat radiating off of him, every ridge and vein on his cock rubbing through her walls with every shallow thrust, she couldn’t help but giggle, grabbing his attention. Hanma’s eyebrows furrowed as he pulled back, a confused smile on his lips as he watched her little giggle fit. “What’s got you so giggly, sweetheart?” He asked stroking her cheek with his knuckles. “’m sorry. Just really really happy.” She admitted with a small, sweet voice. Shuji’s smile faded for a moment while he stared at her face, her big beautiful eyes looking right at him with all the stars in the universe, lips curled into the biggest smile and soft cheeks rosy pink. She was everything he wanted, always and forever, he wasn’t going to let her slip through his fingers ever again.

Shuji laughed, peppering her entire face with kisses and making her giggle and squirm, her inner walls massaging him as he stayed still, enjoying the feeling. When he reached her lips it took her breath away, the giggles switching to soft moans. He pulled back and dragged his hands down her body, sitting up and smiling. “I’m happy too, Unmei. Never been happier. And look, you’re more than halfway there. See?” He pointed out, bringing her attention to where they were connected. The sight make her brain numb. His thick length nestled inside of her, his abs, hands on her thighs, it was the most lewd thing she’d ever seen. “Oh, fuck…” She whispered, licking her lips as her hips circled, unable to stop the heat pooling throughout her body. The pain had started melting away, and when he gave an experimental thrust, she knew what she wanted, she felt ready.

“Just do it, Shu. Go all the way, I can handle it.” Unmei whimpered, grabbing his wrist delicately. His eyes widened, heart skipping a beat. “You sure? Don’t wanna hurt ya, now.” Hanma cooed, rubbing circles into her hips with his thumbs. But, she was positive, she wanted it, no matter what it felt like. She wanted all of him, as fast as possible, or she was going to lose her mind. “I’m sure. Please, Shuji. Just do it. Like ripping a bandaid off.” She nodded assuredly, making him smile. “Alright. I’ve gotcha. Just hold my hands, okay?” He agreed, locking their fingers together. Unmei took a deep breath, focusing on the stretch and the pleasure of his pulsating cock, the beat matching the pounding of her heart.

Hanma could barely contain himself, eyes locked on her core as he prepared mentally. In one fell swoop he completely shoved himself inside of her, bottom out as their cries filled the room. Shuji toppled over and pinned her hands it the pillow as Unmei screamed, body convulsing as an orgasm unexpectedly washed over her. “Shit shit shit shit shit!” Shuji spewed, trying his best not to cum yet. It was so hard, her insides practically milking him as she shuddered. It was pure bliss, feeling him so deep inside, completely filling her up. It was impressive that she managed to handle it, the pleasure beyond words, incomparable to anything she’d ever felt before. Her breathy moans slowed down as her eyes glazed over, Unmei taking off her glasses and setting them on her nightstand as he stayed still. “You alright? Feel good?” He panted. She nodded and smiled, still blissed out and relaxing back into the mattress. Unmei grabbed his hand again and brought the back of it to her lips, kissing along the dark marks. “Fucking amazing. Keep going, baby. Fuck me like you mean it.” She smirked, not knowing what her words were doing to him.

It made something click in his brain, the need and desire taking over. A wicked grin spread across his thin lips, the kind that’s scare the biggest and baddest, but only excited her more. “Like I mean it, huh? Don’t get too cocky now, little one. But alright, I’ll give you what you want. Brace yourself, baby.” He chuckled, grabbing her hips tight and lifting them up.

Nothing could’ve prepared her for what he had in store. In one quick move he pulled out all the way to his tip and slammed in again, Unmei screaming loudly as her body lurched from the force. Hanma moaned, throwing his head back as he did it again and again, his tip easily hitting the deepest spots. The way she squeezed and massaged his cock was heavenly, silky walls welcoming him into a vice grip as she arched and squirmed in his grip. “Fuck! Shu! Ah, god, fuck!” She squealed, her toes curled and fingers gripping the pillow as the bed creaked violently. She could practically feel all of the thoughts in her head melt away as nothing but pure ecstasy flowed through her like a tidal wave. Each snap of his hips had her seeing stars, the sounds filling the small space downright filthy.

Shuji moaned and groaned, grunted and growled. Watching her body move was like art. Plump pink lips parted for her sultry moans to spill out, eyelids fluttering as she stared at him, tits bouncing and tight cunt coating the length of his cock in her listening slick. Nothing in the world could compare to how breathtaking she was, and his mind just kept going back to the first time he saw her, the moment he knew he was in love with her. This was everything he’d ever wanted and more. When he felt the fire burning in the pit of his stomach, he knew he couldn’t stop. He had to distract her, had to make sure she wouldn’t notice what was about to happen. Maybe if she came again too, it’d cover up his own release. So, that’s exactly what he aimed to do.

He pounded ruthlessly, grabbing the back of her legs and folded her, Unmei’s eyes going wide. She gasped when he gripped her calves tight, forced to watch his cock sink into her sensitive hole over and over again. Her head was spinning, mouth salivating as drool seeped from the corner of her lips. It felt like the whole world was spinning, her body weak to the abundant pleasure as she laid helpless beneath him. Her moans got more high pitched, mixing with the lewd squelching of her cunt. Hanma could feel himself tipping over the edge, hips beginning to lose their rhythm. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck! Doing so fucking good for me, baby. Pussy feels like heaven. Wanted this for so fucking long. God, I fucking love you.” He moaned, letting one of her legs relax over his shoulder so he could grip the headboard.

Love?

Unmei stared up at him in shock, feeling the tears well in her eyes again. He loved her? He really loved her? She wanted to point it out so bad, but no words would form in her throat. The only sounds she was capable of were moans and whimpers. But, it was the thought alone that had her seeing stars. He loved her. Shuji Hanma told her that he loved her, to her face. It pained her that she couldn’t even say it back. The only thing she could think to do was show him. So, she grabbed his face in her small hands, pulling him down and crashing her lips onto his, surprising him as she licked into his mouth. It was deep and passionate, he could feel every hair on the back of his neck as a chill ran down his spine. That was the snap, his cock pulsating as he released without warning, letting the waves crash through him. At the same time, he felt her clamp around him, thankful his plan worked as she moaned into his mouth, her fingers gripping his hair tight and legs wrapping around him.

But, he couldn’t stop. Even if he was sensitive, even if he knew it might be too much for her, his body wouldn’t let him stop. He only pulled out long enough to flip her over onto her stomach, Unmei’s face buried in her pillow as she put her ass up in the air, having enough brain power to know what she needed to do and what was coming next. She hugged her pillow tight, swaying her hips as he liked his tip up again. It was like second nature for her, all of the videos she’d watched and things she’d read, all of the wild fantasies she’d had preparing her for this. However, Hanma was frozen for a moment, seeing the ink etched into her back. Pretty wings decorated her skin, a low groan rumbling in his throat. That wasn’t there before. “Oh fuck me…” He whispered to himself. It was too much for him to handle, and he pushed inside of her once more, pounding to his base once again and letting his brain slip away. All he could think about was how good she felt, how he was going to feel this every day for the rest of his life, and how he never wanted to stop. It was like he was 16 again, humping his pillow thinking about her, picturing this exact thing in his head, but a million times better. “Fuck, Unmei, so fucking sexy! Love watching you, so tiny and pretty and perfect. Feelin’ good, baby? Tell me you’re feeling good, fuck! Please say it, angel.” He choked, doubling over and slipping a hand underneath her, hand splayed across her chest and lifting her up a bit.

Her eyes were crossed, jaw slack as she gasped and moaned. She’d never felt anything from behind, always very basic and flat ok her back while using her toy. It was driving her wild, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Please tell me, baby. Wanna hear your voice. Need ta hear ya.” He begged, voice cracking as his strong and cool demeanor slipped. He needed to know he was doing a good job, that she was feeling as good as him, that she felt the same way. If not, everything he’d worked so hard for, waited for, would be for nothing. Eventually, Unmei started babbling, realizing she could probably spit something out. “Good! Fuck! Shu! Don’t stop! Down!” She cried out, Hanma gasping and dropping her back down onto the mattress. When she was bent over again he hit the best spot, her hips bucking up to help him hit it again. “There! Ri-ah-there!” She screamed, hugging the pillow again as she rocked back, meeting him thrust for thrust.

Shuji grabbed her hips tight again, watching, mesmerized by her fucking herself back on his cock, the bend of her spine, the intricate tattoo, the jiggle of her ass cheeks. Unmei’s brain was turning to mush, chasing the high as it bubbled up in her again. Her clit was aching, so she reached down to rub it in fast, tight circles, desperate for the little extra push. It made him smile when he felt her spasming around him, her legs shaking and moans getting louder. He picked up the pace a little more, pushing down on her back to arch it even more. “Fuck! Shuji! G’na cum! Harder!” Unmei squealed. He could do that. The snap of his hips grew harsher, going deeper as he slammed into her. His grip kept her still as he abused her cunt, sending her over the edge again. It hit her so hard her legs gave out, knees slipping out from under her as she collapsed, a convulsing and spasming mess. Hanma lowered himself on top of her, and kissed her shoulders and neck, his cock rubbing against her ass cheeks so he wouldn’t lose the pleasure built up. Her pants and moans slowed, Unmei turning around under him to smile up at him. “You good? Not too tired yet, right?” He chuckled, kissing her forehead. She shook her head, licking her lips as her chest still heaved. “One more. Please, just one more. Like this again.” She whispered, wrapping her arms and legs around him again, letting him completely mesh against her. “So I can tell you I love you to your face while you do it.”

Shock froze him, his body as still as a statue as he stared down at her. “You…you what?” He croaked, thinking he heard wrong. Unmei threw her head back as she laughed, fingers gently trailing up and down his biceps. “So you can say it to me but get surprised when I say it back? I said I love you, asshole. Do you need to clean your ears?” She teased, poking his temple.

She loved him. She loved him. She loved him. It kept playing on repeat in his head, over and over again. She said it. It was real. He wasn’t imagining it. “Say it again.” His tone dropped, Unmei getting butterflies as his stare intensified. “I love you, Shuji.” She repeated, giving him a soft smile. “Again.” The command made her quiver, spine tingling. “I lo-ah!” before she could even get the words out he pounded into her harder than ever, the movement firm and possessive as his eyes stayed fixed to her blissed out face. “Don’t stop, Unmei. Keep saying it. Wanna hear you say it.” Shuji breathed out, muscles tight as he started a heavy, deep pace.

Of course, she did as she was told, repeating the phrase as much as she could while he took her completely. Body, mind, soul, heart, it was all his, completely and utterly. “That’s it. That’s my girl. Keep it going. Love hearing you say it.” He cooed, feeling her tighten at the praise. If she kept doing that, he knew he’d cum again, needing to feel that sweet release. “My good girl. My pretty girl. My little baby.” He moaned over her chants, hearing her squeak and gasp. “Like that, dontcha? Feel you clamping around me, my pretty little girl likes praise, hm?” A smile spread on his lips when she nodded, watching her lips form into a focus pout as she closed her eyes, letting the feelings he was giving her take over. “So fuckin’ cute, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll keep tellin’ ya all the sweet things, as long as you keep taking my cock and tellin’ me ya love me. I’ll do anything for ya. You’re mine now, always gonna be mine, forever.” It was a promise he intended to keep. Now that he had her, nothing was going to tear them apart. He'd die before he sees her walk out of his life again.

Unmei started tearing up again as she crumbled around him, knowing she couldn’t take much more. Her body was weak and aching, her heart was racing, and her words were coming out slurred and jumble as her mind slipped away from her. The only thing she could think about was how much she loved him and how good it felt to have him on top of her, inside of her, claiming each and every inch of her for his. His voice, his touch, his kiss, it broke her, but she was beyond thrilled. Whatever he wanted was his, she didn’t care about anything but him. She’d never have to be lonely again, would never have to try and fail to find love, because she found it, in the man she always knew would be her one and only. The broken pieces of her life and heart were finally coming together in the best possible way, at the most unexpected time.

He felt her body behind to tremble and shake, her nails raking against his bare skin as her head thrashed from side to side. Luckily, Shuji was getting close too, wanting to fall over that edge together. “Look at me, sweetheart. Want you to look me in the eyes when you cum around me. Show me how pretty you look.” He grunted, going faster and harder. He wrapped one arm under her to hug her tight against him while the other cupped the back of her head gently. Her eyelids fluttered open as her moan softened, staring into his eyes through hooded lids as she panted. The end was approaching fast, too fast for her. A whimper erupted in her throat and a tear rolled down her temple as she clamped her legs around him, never wanting him to pull away. “Shu..I…lah…ahve…you…oh!” The words panted out before he completely let go, Unmei choking on a sob. Wave after wave coarser through her veins as she released, feeling something leaking from her hole and down onto the sheets. It wasn’t as violent as the other ones, not fireworks or explosion, but a very soft and sweet release of pleasure, drowning her as she sank into the feeling of ecstasy.

The sloppy sounds got even louder and messier as her little hole squelched around him, sucking him in and opening up further all at once, making it easier for him to pound into her until he fell into oblivion. His hips stopped as he still inside of her, head falling into the crook of her neck with a low growl. Unmei panted under him and traced small patterns into his hot skin, letting him relax and too blissed out to even realize he never pulled out once. Shuji pressed kisses to her neck and shoulder, slowly making his way up to her lips. It was slow and deep, full of passion and love, better than she’d ever thought. It was torture when he pulled away, Hanma chuckling when she whined. “Fuck, I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for this.” He muttered, pushing her hair back and tucking the strands behind her ear. Unmei giggled and did the same for him, the long black and blond locks surprisingly soft. “Probably longer than I have, but I know what you mean. So glad you’re here with me now.” She whispered.

He pulled out and they moved around to lay together, Unmei cuddled onto his side while Shuji kicked his pants off and pulled the blankets over them. Her hand rested over his heart, desperate to feel the best of his heart and the subtle rise and fall of his chest. “So, is your friend still waiting on you? Are you gonna have to leave?” The heartbreak in her voice was evident, the reality of it all crashing over her. He did say he was staying with a friend, would he have to leave her? What was next? What was this going to lead to? They loved each other, but he was still on the run, hiding from the law. How would this work? He felt her shaky breath fan over his chest, her body trembling in his hold. “Hey hey hey, don’t do that.” He cooed, cupping her cheek and lifting her head so she could look up at him, seeing her eyes glistening with tears. “I’m not going anywhere. Fuck him. Got my baby now, not gonna leave when you’re right here.” He assured her, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her on top of him. Unmei sniffled and laughed, leaning down to kiss him over and over again. “Good. Don’t want you going anywhere. Can even stay here, if you want. I know its not much, but if you want to…” She trailed of, a blush creeping over her cheeks as she looked to the side. Hanma smiled, playing with her hair as she looked back at him. “Only if you don’t mind. Its not easy harboring a fugitive. Hope you know what you’re getting into.” He teased. “Baby, if you keep dicking me down like that, I’ll hide you from the cops forever. I’ll be your ride or die, just keeping lovin’ me and I’ll do anything for you.” She replied.

Of course he was going to keep doing that. He’d do anything for her, and if that’s all she asked of him, he’d go above and beyond. There wouldn’t be a day in her life she wouldn’t cum on his cock and fall asleep in his arms ever again. This was a promise he made to himself and her. No more beating people into giving her things, no more keeping guys away from her, she belonged to him, now and forever, and he’d be damned if he ever let her forget it for a second. “You got it, angel. ‘m yours forever.” He cooed, letting her fall into his side again and relaxing into her embrace.

#tr smut #smut #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers smut #lightupmyass #hanma shuji #hanma smut #shuji hanma x reader #shuji hanma #shuji hanma tr

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frickingnerd · 1 year

Text

leo valdez surprising you for your birthday

pairing: leo valdez x gn!reader

tags: angst with a happy ending, reader crying, your friends/siblings forget your birthday, friends to lovers

a/n: i had planned to post it on my birthday but now y'all get it a bit earlier since– i really didn't post much percy jackson content recently 👀

you had always despised your birthdays

you never had one you could look back to and think about fondly

every time you thought about your birthday, you didn't think about the cake or the present

you just thought about your friends and siblings enjoying themselves together, while you sat at the side and watched them have fun, year after year after year

you wished you could just forget about them. perhaps everyone would just forget about it if you didn't remind them and you would be able to at least have a nice day by yourself

the day drew near and it really seemed like everyone had just forgotten about it

neither your siblings, nor your friends mentioned anything

when the day finally came, nobody came to congratulate you. there was no cake, no presents. they had forgotten about it

and despite you wishing that they would, it absolutely hurt!

but at least you were free to do as you pleased that day and got the chance to do something nice for yourself

you decided to visit the beach. there shouldn't be anyone there, especially not during spring time

as you made your way through the forest of camp halfblood, you realized that you had forgotten the way to the beach

it had been quite a while since you last went there and it was hard to distinguish the different trees from one another and navigate your way there

you ended up walking through the forest for almost half an hour, until you ended up in front of bunker 9

it wasn't where you intended to go, but you were starting to get tired from all the walking around and decided to take a break inside

there was nobody there when you entered, but you couldn't help but immediately notice the things that stood on the table

a bouquet of flowers, a chocolate cake and a necklace made out of scrap

you quickly realized that you probably weren't supposed to see this or even be here right now, but when you tried to leave the bunker, you bumped into leo

"y/n!" leo seemed surprised to see you. "i– what are you doing here?"

"oh, i– i was about to leave again! i didn't know you had set things up for a date down here…" you awkwardly rubbed your neck and tried to slip past leo, but he grabbed your wrist as you tried to leave

"no..! this isn't… it's not really for a date, you know…" he stared down at you and you could feel yourself getting lost in his eyes

"it's not..?" your eyes never left his as you spoke

"it's for you..!" he smiled softly and took a step inside the bunker. "your birthday, remember?"

of course you did. how could you forget your own birthday. but you didn't think anyone else would remember it…

"i sneaked into the kitchen last night to bake the cake. the necklace i made a week ago out of some scrap my cabin had laying around and the flowers i grabbed earlier today" leo told you as he stepped towards the table

"the only thing that was missing, was…" he turned around, ready to say you, but instead he stopped and his smile slipped from his lips

"y/n, why are you crying…?"

he looked so worried as he approached you, while you quickly tried to wipe away the tears, but more just kept on coming

leo gently cupped your face, wiping away your tears, as he leaned his forehead against yours

"don't cry… not today, okay? i– i'll make you a prettier necklace, okay? and you'll get more flowers, just…"

you sobbed quietly, quickly shaking your head

"it's perfect… i– i love it, alright..?" you smiled through the tears

"it's the best birthday gift i could've asked for…" you were still struggling to hold back your tears as you spoke, your voice cracking

"b-but… i couldn't do more for you. you deserve better than–"

you weren't going to let leo finish that sentence

you closed the gap between the two of you, pressing your lips together and holding him as close as you could

his lips felt so warm and soft against yours and he tasted like chocolate

you had to break the kiss after a few seconds, to gasp for air and you immediately started to miss his lips on yours

"i…" leo quietly gasped and you could feel the heat rushing into his cheeks

"you've done more than enough for me, leo…" your forehead leaned against his again, your eyes closed "you've made me happier today than i could've imagined"

"and you didn't even try the cake yet..!" leo joked quietly, causing you to laugh and pull away from him, to wipe the final tears out of your eyes

"i didn't!" you smiled. "though, maybe we can change that now..?"

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sanctus-ingenium · 2 years

Photo

u guys wanna see more WIPs... similar to the last post, here are Some WIPs

all of these were started in sai before going on to procreate. before going back to sai again in the case of the strength card

so Blue Sky/Out Of Time... yeah it’s extremely self-explanatory, it’s very obvious what this scene depicts and i’m sure everyone gets it (this is a joke i’ve had multiple people dm me asking wtf this even is). the one element that absolutely NEEDED to be there was the LED digital clock with a bullshit time on it, and i decided to replace it with an AIRE warning sign instead and put the LED readouts in the bg. the warning sign in this setting serves the purpose of informing ppl when there are hostile faeries around. i knew what the colours would be from the beginning, but it took a bit for me to realise what sort of shading style i wanted (it took forever). but i did know i wanted to contrast the very sketchy black void against the cleaner and almost cartoony/comic book style rest of the drawing, to emphasise the fact that the foreground sky and background void are made of two very different things. again i used a colour shifting brush to quickly make all the shards of sky different colours, but originally i planned to have some of the shards be dark or night time (with stars or the moon etc). unfortunately it didn’t work, it was too dark and pascal got lost against it.

My Eyes Are Up Here is pretty obviously the exact same scene with the same character, in the same field, but with a different sort of atmosphere. i sketched this in sai then did the final in procreate. originally it was going to have a black background

i really like this version tbh but the blue works better. i think he looks good against dark backgrounds where it’s kind of hard to see wtf is even happening there

so about the neon signs..... i’m well aware that the sketch has way more promise than what the final ultimately was, and that’s because i found that i didn’t have the technical or artistic ability to pull off the complex neon signs like i wanted to. i couldn’t get it looking good enough so i had to scrap them. but these signs will be back, i want to draw them properly and do them justice. the gif was unplanned too but i thought it would be fun to have the flicker be very intermittent so that if you scrolled past it you might not even realise, or you’d have to stick with it just to catch it looping. i used GIMP to make the gif and change the frame rate, and this actually took a very long time because i had to preview it over and over. anyway if you WERE to get lost in the púca’s field, in this story, you would see neon signs like this encouraging you to follow them.

Strength is actually the last drawing i ever made that ended with a paint-over in sai, and the oldest drawing here. as such i actually don’t think it’s representative of my current ability but i do have a soft spot for it for sentimental reasons lol. the reason for the paint-over in sai was because i drew this at a time when i still did not trust procreate to be able to place the level of finish on it that i wanted

the background took me a thousand years to figure out. literally it was so annoying that i considered scrapping it for something simpler. but the idea was for it to be a kind of fairytale-ish lost in the woods sort of look while also appearing like the blood vessels around the human heart. the branches were also supposed to be heart-shaped in cross-section but i spent so long zoomed in painting them that i forgot to zoom out to see if all those fine details were actually visible, and it turned out they weren’t. i was disappointed that i couldn’t get félix’s tattoos to look right but that’s what i get for making a character with shit tons of both tattoos and body hair. i also got rid of the foreground branches really soon because they weren’t adding anything and muddied up the readability of his pose

the swan is from a daemon au and bears no relation to my other swan characters. i just like swans a lot

#this again!

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captainamericasmotercycle · 8 months

Text

Delicate

is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head?

pairing: jake seresin x reader

warnings: drinking/being drunk

wc: 841

a/n: just a fun little blurb ☺️

absolutely DO NOT steal my work and post it on other platforms. DO NOT feed my work to AI fuck that

Getting shit-faced early into a Friday night probably wasn’t in your best judgement. It was barely 11 and you already had so much alcohol in your system - but after a bad week at work, you needed it.

It wasn’t really your fault that it happened with almost all of your coworkers there, but they invited you to a bar. Were you just supposed to sit there and not drink?

You were barely coherent talking to some guy at the bar whom had just bought you another drink when you felt a strong hand on your upper arm pulling you off your stool and towards the door.

“Alright, you’ve had enough,” Jake stood in front of you with a hard look on his face.

“No, I didn’t finish,”

“Yes, you have. You’ve been drinking all night, darlin’, it’s quitting time,” he pulled you out the door of the Hard Deck.

“No,”

“Yes, c’mon, let me take you home,” he begged, opening the passenger door of his truck.

“But Natasha said she wanted to take me home,”

“She told me to bring you home, now c’mon,”

You hesitantly got in but Jake reassured you that you were okay. You love Jake, you’d decided that about 4 drinks and 5 years ago.

“I can tell you love me,”

“Yeah? How so?”

“Because you care about me and you’re taking me home.”

“I care about all my friends,”

“Yes, I know, that’s why I love you,”

“You love me, huh? Well I love having you as a friend too,” Jake was treading carefully, simultaneously being shocked at the words coming out of your mouth. He’d loved you for years, but had always been too hesitant to say anything because he didn’t think you felt the same.

“I do love you!! But as more than my friend,” you whispered the last part, to where it was barely audible.

“You got no idea what you’re sayin’, you’re drunk,”

“I may be drunk, but I do love you,” you slurred your words and smiled dopily at him.

“Tell me when you’re sober, and I’ll show you what love is.”

He pulled into your driveway and didn’t say another word to you. Processing everything you just said is fucking difficult, it’s not every day the girl you’ve loved and pined over tells you she loves you back.

He helped you out of your car and into your house.

“Bye, Jake, I love you,”

“Alright, darlin’, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he turned to leave when you shouted at him.

“Wait! Can you stay?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,”

“Please, I can sleep on the couch,”

“No, I’m not taking your bed,”

“Okay, then you sleep on the couch,”

“Baby..”

“Please, Jake,” he took a deep breath. It felt morally wrong to sleep over, especially since you were heavily inebriated, but he could take care of you if he stayed.

“Alright,” he locked his truck and then your front door.

You went to your bedroom to change and get ready for bed. After about 15 minutes of Jake awkwardly wandering around your house, you brought out a couple blankets and a pillow.

You said your goodnights and you went to your room. You were out almost immediately, Jake however, laid awake for what he thought was another 5 hours pondering what had happened and how he’d gotten on your couch.

You’d woken up with a glass of water and Tylenol by your bed. You look around to see if anyone had come home with you, because you can’t really remember anything.

Your bed and bathroom were clear, so you got up, brushed your teeth, took the meds, and walked out into the kitchen. That’s when you saw him.

Lieutenant Jake Seresin was standing in your kitchen, shirtless.

“I hope you don’t mind that I changed, I had a pair of sweats in my car,”

You stuttered put a response, “Um, yeah, no, that’s fine.”

You finally remembered what had happened last night, and embarrassingly so. You remembered everything from drinking way too much, to telling Jake you love him, to keeping him hostage on your couch.

You walked over to the coffee machine and poured yourself a cup. A tense silence hung between the two of you.

“So about last night,” you started.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry,”

“For?”

“Getting shit-faced, saying some… things, and keeping you hostage,”

“Don’t stress it, we all have our moments, believe me,” he let out a light hearted laugh, he paused for a minute before speaking again, “Do you not remember what I said?”

“I do,” he let out a hum to your response, “and I do… still love you.”

His eyes brightened and he pulled you into him by the waist. He held your face and smiled as he leaned in to press a kiss to your lips.

You fell into the kiss and God, have you waited for this.

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #top gun maverick #hangman top gun #top gun #bradley rooster bradshaw #x reader #jake seresin #bradley bradsaw x reader

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harvestleaves · 1 year

Text

Let. Me. In. (RoosterxF!Reader)

Prompt: Hi, I would like to request for a sickfic for Bradley, reader is stubborn as a bull and refuses to admit she’s sick and she gets sicker until Bradley slowly gets her be vulnerable. And in the end the reader is nursed back to health by Bradley.

A/N: Sorry this took me a week to write, I was super tired after work all week, but I hope you like this! Let me know if I should start also posting these to Ao3!

Rating: T for brief swearing by Bradley

Word Count: 1,239

You weren’t sick. It was probably just allergies. It was the middle of April and things were blooming, so your throat was sore. Of course you ignored the nagging voice in the back of your head that sounded suspiciously like Bradley’s reminding you that you didn’t have allergies, at least to pollen. Dogs, sure, but not pollen.

It was allergy season. Sure, there was a spring cold going around the elementary school you taught at, but you wanted to think that you taught your kiddos enough about hand washing technique at the beginning of the year that they shouldn’t get too sick.

Then, two kids were absent from your class for a fever last week. Two kids wasn’t enough for you to worry too much though, so you decided not to mention it to your boyfriend Bradley. You knew he would’ve checked you over for signs of sickness immediately. because he was a bit of a mother-hen when it came to any aspect of your well-being.

It’s not like you minded Bradley fussing over you. You were just used to taking care of yourself and not relying on anyone, so old habits die hard.

You started to regret not telling him this week though when your throat started get scratchy and you were going to bed earlier than normal, at 8:30 or 9 instead of your typical 10 o’clock bedtime.

Bradley was busy with work, and tried chalking up your exhaustion to just being close to the end of the school year. But there was part of him that suspected it was something more.

Kicking your shoes off when you got home at 4:30 on Friday afternoon, you grabbed a pair of Bradley’s sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt before going to the bathroom for a hot shower.

Your head had been hurting since lunch, and you were shivering. Despite it being an 82 degree day in California with the sun shining brightly. Maybe you were actually sick, but you were sure it was nothing a shower and nap couldn’t fix. Bradley wasn’t supposed to be home until 6, so you figured that was plenty of time to get clean and a quick nap in.

Taking your time in the shower, you let the warm water run over your skin, soothing your muscles as you took a deep breath of the steamy air.

And promptly started to cough.

You were too busy coughing up a lung in the shower that you didn’t hear Bradley enter the apartment and make his way towards the bathroom. Frowning, Bradley crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway.

“Y/N? You okay?”

Jumping at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice, you tried to catch your breath, calling back a quick “yeah, I’m fine.” You hoped that would be enough to satisfy Bradley’s concern until you got out.

Finishing showering in ten minutes, you turned off the water before reaching around the curtain for your towel where it usually hung on the bar next to the shower. But it wasn’t there.

Pulling back the curtain, you blinked in confusion before noticing Bradley near the sink, holding open a towel for you. A tired smiled graced your lips before you stepped out of the shower and into your boyfriends arms as he wrapped the towel around your rapidly cooling body. The very soft and warm towel.

You let your eyelids drift shut, your exhaustion from the last week finally taking over you as Bradley held you close, gently squeezing you in the hug before he dropped a kiss to your wet hair.

“What’s going on beautiful? You’ve been going to bed early all week, and your voice has sounded scratchy all week. Is something going around at work?” Bradley asked, rubbing his hand firmly over your back as he held you close to his chest, not caring if his shirt got wet since he was going to change soon anyways.

“Yeah, but I’m not sick.”

He could see straight through your lie. So, instead of just letting you continue with it, Bradley decided to call you out on it. Tilting your chin up so you were eye to eye, he leveled you with an intense look.

“That’s bullshit and you and I both know it. You’ve been going to bed early, and you sound like shit. We’ve been together for over a year and we live together. Let. Me. In,” he said, reaching up to brush a tear from your cheek that you didn’t realize had fallen.

“You don’t have to do everything yourself. I know you’re used to it, but I want to take care of you. I know your last boyfriend complained whenever you asked him to give you the slightest bit of affection and that’s why you’re hyper independent. But you don’t have to be like that with me. Just let your guard down, even if its just for tonight,” Bradley said, his voice dropping to almost a whisper as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, his words finally shattering the glass wall you had carefully and meticulously built over the last few years.

You were scared, because letting someone in to care about you also left you open to get hurt. Logically, you knew Bradley wouldn’t break your heart, but there was still that sliver of fear in the back of your mind that you knew wasn’t going away anytime soon.

Letting your tears finally fall down your cheeks, you sniffled miserably against your boyfriend’s chest.

“I might have caught something at work. I didn’t want to bother you though, it’s probably just a cold. Nothing for you to worry about,” you said between sniffles before shivering closer to Bradley.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s just a cold or not, I still want you to tell me if you don’t feel well. Let’s get you dressed though and onto the couch. Then, I’ll grab you a blanket and make you some chamomile tea. Sound good?” Bradley asked as he rubbed your back before pulling back to finish drying you off with the towel. Having you step into the sweatpants and hoodie, he then patted your hair dry with the towel before grabbing your brush to detangle your hair.

Once your hair was brushed, you turned to kiss Bradley’s cheek before shuffling off to the couch, curling up on your right side with an exhausted yawn, smiling as a blanket was placed over you.

Moving to get a quick shower himself, Bradley made quick work of it before emerging in a t-shirt and sweatpants, then making his way into the kitchen to make some tea. He heated up the water in the electric kettle you insisted on using for it, even though he didn’t think it made any difference than just microwaving a mug of water.

Despite his own thoughts on it, he knew you would appreciate the extra sentiment of the kettle. Peeking his head out to check on you, he smiled when he saw you finally asleep on the couch, one arm tucked underneath your head as you snored softly.

Bradley turned the kettle off for the time being, deciding to let you get the sleep you so clearly needed. Leaving the empty mugs on the counter, he moved to gently pick your upper body up before sitting on the couch and placing your head in his lap before re-tucking the blanket around you to keep you warm as you napped.

#top gun maverick #top gun maverick imagine #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster x reader

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iikatsukii · 1 year

Text

The Boy's a Liar

Synopsis: You are a young Na'vi named Koa. You and the Sully family have been inseparable since Lo'ak, your promised mate, chose you as his best friend. Though, devastatingly, his family is forced to flee the clan to ensure their safety. Will things be the same five years later when you and lo'ak meet again?

Pairings: Lo'ak x Omatikaya Fem!reader, Ao'nung x Omatikaya Fem!reader

Warnings: Major Awotw spoilers, death mention, swearing, mating mentions, Na’vi language.

Word count: 13k.

A/N: IT IS FINALLY DONE OMG GUYS IM SO EXCITED TO POST THIS AHHHHHHH!!!! ALSOI know I haven't uploaded for Missing Pieces in a while but balancing Avatar works and the missing pieces story plus my outside life is a bit difficult, but please be patient with me! I am trying. Please let me know how you guys feel about this story and if you want more Avatar stories.

Glossary: yawntu - loved one, yawntutsyip - little loved one, skxawng - idiot, sa'nu - mom (affectionate), sempul - father, parultsyip - term of affection for children

it was a day like any other. you were at the sullys’ home hanging out with kiri and tuk, waiting for the rest of the family to return from the raid. while you waited, kiri helped you with a new hairstyle that you wanted to try. it was just simple box braids with your natural hair, but you added some beads to the end.

you weren’t one for beads in your hair. neytiri and kiri always tried to get you to do it, but you never gave in. you complained that they made your head feel heavy and your neck hurt.

tuk got bored of listening to you guys, so she got up to play outside with the other kids in the village. “play nice, tuk!” kiri called after her little sister. tuk gave an absent-minded hum of agreement as she rushed out. you and kiri couldn’t help but giggle at the young girl’s free spirit.

you guys continue to braid your hair and chat for the next few hours until you hear the pitter-patter of little feet growing louder. tuk bursts into the tent as if on cue, shouting, “the war party is back! they are back!! come on! let’s go! let’s go!” luckily, kiri had just finished securing the beads on your last braid before tuk came in.

you and kiri both stood and ran out of the tent. you were just as eager for the return of the war party as tuk was.

because it meant the return of lo’ak

lo’ak has been your best friend since childhood. he has never left your side. not since the day you two met. you and lo’ak had been announced as promised mates back when the two of you were 15. now you’re both 17 and ready to be of age, so you can visit the tree of voices and mate before the great mother eywa, just like how he told you his parents did.

as you approached the heart of the village, you watched as all the warriors landed their ikrans. the village people chant and cheer in celebration of the warriors’ return. you looked around frantically until your eyes landed on precisely who you were looking for. still, before you could even step toward him, you noticed the dejected look on his face. not only him but neteyam too. neteyam, though, was roughed up way more than lo’ak was.

jake walked his boys past you and straight toward their home. you waited a few minutes, trying to respect their privacy as a family, but you couldn’t help yourself. you snuck over and pressed your back against the wall next to the entrance of their home, quietly listening in.

“you’re supposed to be spotters. how is it that i gave you direct orders, and you knuckleheads still managed to disobey them.” jake scolded his boys as neytiri stood behind them.

“now, ma jake, your son is actually bleeding,” she said, giving him a look. he just sighed and dismissed his eldest to go see his grandmother.

neytiri walked out of the tent and greeted you as she passed, “hello, koa, your hair looks beautiful.” you could only stare at her back in shock as she walked away, guiding her son to his grandmother’s tent. and just before neytiri was out of sight, she peered over her shoulder, making direct eye contact with you. then she winked, and immediately after, she was out of view.

you and neytiri had this adorable mother-daughter relationship in which she teased you about how you acted around her son, lo’ak since he was your promised mate. she would tease you whenever she caught you daydreaming or giggle and give you a knowing look when she noticed you and lo’ak’s entangled tails as you all sat for dinner.

you love neytiri. she was more of a mother to you than your actual mom, but you never told her that. they all think your home life is perfect, but everything is horrible behind closed doors.

before you could get deeper into your thoughts, your ears perked up at jake talking again.

“you do understand you almost got your brother killed today?”

“yes sir,” it was a quiet response from lo’ak. one full of insecurities. insecurities that you made a mental note to kiss away later when you met up at your ‘secret hideout,’ as lo’ak liked to call it.

“you’re grounded. no flying for a month. dismissed. oh, and go wash that shit off your face.” jake said before leaving lo’ak to be the only sully in their home. you stood from your hiding spot and silently slipped into their home, spotting lo’ak standing in the center of the room.

you noticed how his fists were clenched, and his frame shook, and then you heard the sniffles. you immediately walked over, wrapping your arms around him, palms pressed flat to his chest as you pressed your face between his shoulder blades. you felt his heartbeat, his breathing, heard his sobs, felt him shake.

“oh, lo’ak… i wish i could take this pain away for you,” you said as you felt tears coming to your eyes. you knew how much his fathers’ words hurt him.

lo’ak didn’t respond. all he did was turn in your grasp and push his face into your neck as he sobbed. slowly, you lowered your body, bringing you both to the floor so you could sit and hold him.

after a few minutes, you noticed he still had his face paint on. you got up, a process made way more complicated by who lo’ak didn’t want to let you go, grabbing a wooden bowl and a small cloth before sitting in front of the boy you love again.

reaching your hand, you raised his chin to see his face correctly. you wet the soft cloth with the water from the bowl, ringing it out a bit before introducing it to lo’ak’s face. you gently removed the war paint from his face, focusing on getting everything off.

while you’re focused on cleaning lo’ak’s face, he takes the time to admire your beauty. he takes in all of your features as if trying to memorize your face. you felt his gaze on you, but you didn’t mind it because lo’ak tended to do this often. he always sits quietly and admires you when you take his face paint off after the war party returns. once, you asked him what he was doing, but he just shushed you.

you pulled back from the boy, looking him in his eyes. you finished cleaning off his face, so you placed the cloth in the bowl, freeing up both of your hands. you cupped his cheeks, using your thumbs to wipe away his remaining tears. “lo’ak, why don’t we go to our secret hideout, hm? that always cheers you up.” you suggested, and the moment you said ‘secret hideout,’ lo’ak was sold.

“let’s go,” he said. his voice was hoarse and scratchy, probably from all the crying, but he ignored it. standing to his height and helping you with him, lo’ak grabbed your hand and started walking you out of his family’s home.

you didn’t get far, running into his back when he stopped suddenly. “ah- lo’ak! what was that for?” you said as you rubbed your nose, looking up at the taller boy. he turned to you and held your shoulders. “i have to do something before i leave,” he said, looking over at his grandmother’s tent. you could hear the voices of his siblings pouring out, and you could also see his parents sitting out front, talking.

you nodded in understanding. “it is okay, lo’ak, go. meet me there after, okay? don’t be long.” you said as you walked down the path the two of you usually took to get to your spot.

little did you know, as you were waiting for lo’ak at your hideout, he and his siblings were being held at gunpoint by rda avatars. the night had gotten so late that you laid down, hoping by the time you woke up, lo’ak would be next to you.

you stirred awake at the sound of forest animals and ikrans flying by. rubbing your eyes, you sit up, noticing that you had fallen asleep in the forest waiting on lo’ak to meet you. you were hurt that he stood you up, but you were pretty rational, so you hoped he had a good excuse for why he never showed.

when you returned to the clan, you noticed that everyone in the village was surrounding the ikran takeoff area. you were confused, so you walked over. pushing through the crowd, you saw the sully family once you got to the front. they had everything packed onto their ikrans, and you noticed neytiri was crying.

when jake noticed, you could see his demeanor visibly soften. neytiri saw you and only started crying harder. “neytiri, what is happening?” you asked cautiously, tears coming to your eyes. “oh, my sweet girl,” she said as she held her arms out for you, hugging you close. “our family is being hunted,” she whispered to you.

your entire world stopped. you knew exactly what this meant. “no. no. no. neytiri, jake, please don’t leave. please don’t leave me. this is your home. we will fight for you guys. we will protect you guys. please don’t go. you guys are my family.” you said in a whispered voice. jake and neytiri comforted you to the best of their ability, but then it struck you.

lo’ak.

you release your hold on neytiri and turn to face him. he had an unreadable look like he was scared or nervous.

you walked over to him with tears in your eyes. “you did not meet me last night, lo’ak, and now your family is leaving. what am i to do?” you sobbed. lo’ak pulled you into his chest, holding you while you cried. he cried, too, because this hurt him more than anything. you were the one person in his life who truly understood and loved him, and now he had to leave you.

“let me come with you,” you begged. “i can pack my stuff very quickly, i promise-” lo’ak cut you off, squeezing you tighter into his body. “koa. you can not come. you have to stay here. this is the only way i will truly know you are safe.” you shook your head. “lo’ak, please don’t do this, please. i will find you, my love. i will fly all of pandora just to find you.”

the boy looked over to his father, giving him some kind of signal, and jake motioned to two warriors over. they immediately got the hint, walking around to you, grabbing your arms, and pulling you away from lo’ak so he could mount his ikran.

“i know ma koa. i’m sorry,” he said.

“KEHE, PLEASE LET ME GO TO HIM,” you screamed and kicked and cried, begging them to let you go as the sully family took off into the distance. the scream you let out was bloodcurdling. lo’ak could hear it, despite the distance his family had already flown away. having your promised mate leave you right in front of your eyes felt like having your heart ripped out of your chest.

for five years, you have been flying around pandora, going from clan to clan, venturing through forests, and trying to find your promised mate. you never even thought about turning back; home has become a forgotten thought in your mind.

you and your ikran, seze, fled the omatikaya clan at night. not wanting anyone to see or hear you leave, but then again, it’s not like if you left at the busiest point of the day, it would’ve made a difference. nobody looked at you anymore, let alone acknowledged that you lived amongst them. so you took it upon yourself to leave. if everyone acted as if you didn’t exist, you might as well go; it’s not like anyone would have cared.

the omatikaya clan meant nothing to you, and you mean nothing to them.

at least that’s what you told yourself.

continuing to fly, you came across what looked like a young na’vi boy backing up toward a cliff edge. you analyze the situation further and notice a thanator slowly walking towards the child, emerging from its hiding spot. though you did not know the child, you still needed to save him.

“come on seze, yah!!”

your ikran took off towards the thanator, screeching. in one swoop, seze sunk his talons into the side thanators neck, killing him on impact. quickly removing your tsaheylu from seze, you slowly tried approaching the young boy, trying to coax him away from the cliff’s edge.

“hi, yawntutsyip, it is okay. i am not here to harm you. look,” you said as you slowly grabbed your bow and arrows, removing them from your body. you kicked them away, too, so the child would be more comfortable. you took another step closer, but he still cringed away. you looked down at your body and saw that you still had your knife on you. you quickly grabbed it and tossed it with your bow and arrows.

only then did the boy allow you to approach him. you wrapped your arms around the child, trying to soothe him from all the fear he had just experienced. you moved the two of you far, far away from the cliff. you sat against seze’s resting form, and the child curled up into you while you wrapped one of the blankets you packed when you left the omatikaya clan around the both of you. that boy had death at his front door, but you saved him.

the little boy pulled back from the hug, rubbing the tears out of his eyes. “irayo,” he said between hiccups and sobs. “it is okay, my child. you are safe,” you whispered.

“what is your name, my child?” you ask while trying to lull him to sleep.

“anuk,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

“hi anuk, my name is koa. you’re going to be okay, it is alright,” you said as you rocked him back and forth, planning on trying to find his home in the morning.

he was fighting his sleep, though, probably still running on adrenaline. looking up at you, he whispered, “i really like your bow.”

“thank you, anuk. my promised mate gave it to me. its very special to me.” you said, the vibrations from your voice soothing the boy, and the rocking motion only aided in lulling the boy to sleep.

you both lay under the stars of pandora’s night sky, seze remaining on guard so the two of you could rest in peace.

the young tawkamian boy held onto your leg as you loaded the last of your belongings onto the back of seze. you never got to tell neytiri about the name because your iknimaya happened after the sully family left.

returning to reality when you felt tiny hands squeezing your leg again, the big sad eyes of the little village boy meeting yours. “anuk~ you cannot come with me, paruitsyip. i’m sorry, but it’s my time to go.”

“no, koa, stay here!! we can be a family! i can have an older sister again,” the words out of the poor boy’s mouth saddened you. you kneeled to his height so you could look him in the eyes.

“i’m so sorry, ‘nuk, but my lover is waiting for me, so i have to find him. i hope you find love like this, so you will one day understand why i left. but remember me, you never know, i may come back and visit.” she said, smiling at the young boy.

you were aware of the loss of the chief’s daughter because it happened to be the same night you found anuk. the two children traveled into the forest just before eclipse until they got lost while trying to escape a thanator. the same one that attacked anuk the night you found him.

anuk said that while he and his sister were going on their daily hunt, äzan noticed that a baby thanator had wandered too close to the clan’s territories. she started to panic because that meant that the mother was not far behind. she tried to get anuk to safety, but before she could get anywhere, anuk noticed the mother thanator creeping in the branches above them.

the eldest child looked to her younger brother and whispered, “anuk, you run right now. you run and do not turn back for me no matter what you hear me? go, now!”

upon hearing his sister’s stern voice, the young boy took off, and it was only seconds before he heard his sister’s screams. he knew he couldn’t turn back, though. she told him he couldn’t and would rather be banished from his clan than disobey her last words.

the young boy sniffled, reliving his last memory of his sister. you, having been at the tawkami clan for a few months now, know the look on his face when he returns to that memory. “hey, anu’, stay here with me, okay? äzan is with eywa. she’s in good hands.” you said, hugging the child.

after a few minutes of tears and goodbyes, you finally set off to continue your journey to find your promised mate. it was always sad when you left a clan. the friendships and bonds you would build with the people of the villages were something you held close to your heart. and every time you left, it left your heart missing the warmth of the village people.

you think it had been about a week and a half, and you and seze were soaring around pandora. it wasn't until you started to see gorgeous blue waters that you perked up.

another day or so of flying goes by, and you see something as you pass over a clearing—or rather, someone.

there was a light-toned, almost turquoise, na'vi jumping around, looking like he was trying to get your attention. you waved back, and he started pointing somewhere, assuming that he was telling you to fly in that direction, so you followed. after a few minutes, you saw two more na'vi

and then three more

and then a whole group of them

and then, finally, you came across what you assumed was their homeland.

horns started blowing, signaling an arrival.

you slowly dismounted, where the water met the sea, and left seze on the beach. removing your flight gear, you notice a massive crowd of people staring at you. as this isn't your first time, you do what you've learned to do.

walking toward the crowd, you raised your hands in surrender, showing that you did not intend to harm anyone, the bow, arrows, and pocket knife that you left on seze's saddle makes that clear to the village people. but something was different about this clan.

it almost seemed as if they weren't shocked to see a na'vi from a faraway land.

after a few minutes, you're surrounded by these clan people. you have yet to learn what clan you are in or their leader. your attention is pulled to a tall man, who you assume is the clan leader, and you immediately acknowledge him.

"i see you," you said while also making the gesture.

he returned it, as well as a woman next to him who you assumed was the tsahik, so you gestured 'i see you' to her as well.

“who are you.” the woman hissed.

"hello. um.. my name is koa. i am a wanderer; i'm flying around pandora because i'm looking for someone." you explained, cowering away at the woman's hostility.

"i am tonowari, olo’eyktan, and this is my wife, ronal.” the tall man introduced himself and his mate

“what clan are you from, koa," ronal asked; you could hear the slight hiss in her voice as she said your name, as if she didn't want you to be here.

"i am from no clan." you say with your head down.

"well, you lived somewhere at some point? that place was?" tonowari pressed further.

“the forest. omatikaya.” you said, barely above a whisper.

"omatikaya? what is it with your people and seeing refuge with the metkayina clan, huh?" he joked, a few people around him laughing a bit too

"what do you mean?" you were confused. what was he talking about?

"you say you come looking for someone. who is this person?" ronal asked.

"i am looking for a man who goes by the name of lo'ak sully. does anyone of that name live here, or have you heard the name anywhere before?" you asked desperately,

the second you said his name, there were murmurs, gasps, and whispers from the crowd around you.

the two adults analyzed you. you were dirty, improperly dressed, and looked like you hadn't had a shower or meal in days. you looked exhausted. the mother in ronal stirred a bit.

tonowari and ronal turned to each other, sharing a look before looking at you again. they couldn't let you wander around anymore. not when they know where the person you're looking for is.

"come with me, my child; i am tsahik of the metkayina clan. you are going to be okay," ronal said as she wrapped her arms around you to support you while she walked you to her home. ronal doesn't know what it is about this child and why she's treating her differently than how she did the sully family, but that's not important right now.

"tonowari, go to the sullys and tell them an omatikayan girl is asking for lo'ak in our pod." her husband was moving within seconds of hearing his wife's demand, and the rest of the clan dispersed, going back to what they were doing.

you were sitting in ronal’s home for about 20 minutes before you heard heavy footsteps growing louder. it was only a few seconds until tonowari pushed the tent’s flap aside, but you were only greeted with four out of six faces that had left five years ago.

jake

neytiri

kiri

and tuk...

where the hell are lo’ak and neteyam?

the family looks at you for a second, and when they accept that it’s you, they rush over and scoop you up into the warmest hug you’ve had in years.

it brings tears to your eyes seeing the people who you’ve missed for five years.

“oh, my sweet girl. you’re here,” neytiri said, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“how did you find us?” jake asked. his tone was concerned, a manner that only a worried father would use.

“i have been looking for you guys since you left….” you said nervously.

“you’ve been looking for us since we left?!” tuk cries; you glance over the once small child and notice that she is a preteen now, about 12 or 13 years old.

“oh my eywa tuk you’ve gotten so big!!” you said, tickling the girl in the same place you used to when she was younger. seeing as tuk immediately started giggling and laughing, you knew that even though she had grown up, she was still the same little girl you remembered.

“i know! i am taller than when lo’ak was my age,” she said, slightly teasing her older brother, who wasn’t even present. speaking of which,

“where is lo’ak?” you asked, looking over at kiri, your best friend who you miss so much. you figured you would ask about nete later since you assumed he was out hunting like he always was

but when you notice the room go silent, you refocus your attention on the people around you. the sully family had these looks on their faces, one that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. the air had grown thick with tension, and you started worrying. in the corner of the marui were ronal and tonowari. they both had looks of confusion on their face. they called jake over to have a conversation.

you watched him walk over and tried to listen to their whispered conversation. you gave up when you realized they were talking too low. but before you could completely tune out, you heard a small gasp followed by a heavy sigh.

jake told ronal and tonowari everything. he told them how lo’ak had a promised mate at their old clan and how they tried to talk some sense into him, but they couldn’t help but want to see their boy finally happy after the loss they faced as a family.

you turned back to your best friend,

“kiri… what is wrong? i just asked where lo’ak is?” you were starting to get worried. did something happen to him?

“he is out right now,” was all she said.

“out? kiri, what the fuck? out where?”

“he is out with tsireya!” tuk pitched in.

suddenly your heart started beating fast, and your stomach was dropping. your worst nightmare began to form in your head.

“who is tsireya?” you asked.

“tsireya is my daughter.” said tonowari.

you looked at tuk and asked.

“who is tsireya?” but tuk knew what you were really asking. ‘who is tsireya to lo’ak.’

“she is his mate.” the girl said dejectedly.

you felt your heart fall to the floor and shatter into a million pieces. the second tuk said that m-word, the one word you honestly never thought you would hear, it felt like your world was caving in.

everyone in the room could visibly see your heartbreak at that statement, but as soon as the expression came, it was gone. you masked your pain, not wanting to have a breakdown in front of everyone, but you were damn sure going to get some answers.

“where is he?”

“he is just south of here. at a place, we call three brothers. it is about a 10-minute ride on our ilus, but you have an ikran, so i am not sure how long it will take you.” ronal spoke up, directing you in the direction of the boy who she now knows betrayed you.

“i can make it there in 5,” you said as you stood and walked out of the room.

sure enough, you got there in 5 minutes. you could tell by the three big ass rocks that were coming into view. something in your gut told you that you wouldn't like how this was about to go down.

"above the clouds," you instructed seze. this way, if you noticed lo'ak, he would see you when you wanted him to. it only took like 30 seconds of looking to find him. he was lying on the beach with a metkayina girl, tsireya.

"land." it was a simple command. seze brought you down silently as he settled on the opposite side of the beach.

sneaking up on someone isn't hard when walking in the sand. however, you still ensured you were as quiet as possible when you approached the couple. as you stood over the two, you questioned how you got so close without either of the na'vi noticing you. then you realized they were sleeping, with a blanket and everything.

they were sleeping under the eclipse…

that was something the two of you used to do.

this enraged you. walking back to seze, you grabbed your bow and one singular arrow. by the time you were standing over the couple again, you had taken your hand and drew back, aiming the arrow right in between lo'ak's face and the back of tsireya's head.

your hands shaking and the tears blurring her eyes only made you pull the arrow further back. and finally, you released a breath you didn't know you were holding as you let go of the hand, allowing it to snipe right into the ground in front of lo'aks nose.

it wasn't the noise of the arrow that woke lo'ak up. it was the force of the wind from how fast it had been released. it startled him. with wide eyes, he looked at the arrow and then up from where it came from, making eye contact with you.

lo'ak was in denial, to say the least. not believing his eyes, he slowly stood up, which caused tsireya to stir awake too, but she couldn't sit up much because your arrow trapped one of her braids in the sand.

as lo'ak stood to his full height, you got to consider how much he had grown over the last five years. the last time you saw each other, you were 17, and now you're 22. to you, lo'ak still looks like the boy you knew back then. the only difference you spotted was the height and muscle growth.

"nothing about you has changed. so why is everything so different now?" you asked him. he could hear the hurt in your voice. that's the only reason he could tell that you knew. you knew that tsireya was his mate. you knew he went against eywa's wishes. you knew he lied to you.

"koa, this isn't what it looks like," lo'ak started. you narrowed your eyes at him. "okay, this is kinda what it looks like, but-" suddenly tsireya checked into the conversation, cutting lo'ak, "YOU KNOW THIS CRAZY WOMAN?!"

to say lo'ak's mate was furious was an understatement. tsireya was pissed, she had been disturbed from her nap by some woman she didn't know, had her hair trapped in the sand, and now this woman was claiming to know her mate.

lo'ak, hearing tsireya yelling, immediately tried to calm her down. "baby, remember, no stress, okay? you gotta calm down."

"CALM DOWN?! how can you say calm down, lo'ak?!!” as the couple argued, you took your arrow out of the ground. pulling your arm back, you aim right in between tsireyas eyes, fully intending to release the arrow.

but before you could, lo'ak stepped between the two of you, holding his hands out.

he's trying to diffuse the situation.

"you defend her. why?!" you asked with tears in your eyes. your bow was still in the perfect position to release at any moment. "i defend her because she is my mate, koa." hearing the words come out of his mouth made it so much more real. you didn't want to accept that your promised mate had left you for someone else, but the facts were right in front of you.

lo'ak isn't yours anymore.

"you dare betray the will of eywa?!" you said, only pulling your arrow more. you knew this wasn't really what bothered you, but you weren't ready to crack, still wanting to keep up your strong warrior façade.

"what is she talking about, lo'ak," tsireya asks her mate. you can tell by the face that lo'ak made at tsireya's question that he got caught. this was the only thing that caused you to lower your bow slightly. a sound of disbelief left you. "you betrayed me for someone you can not even trust enough to tell the truth. you betrayed me with someone you do not even harbor any respect for!! lo'ak, what were you thinking?"

"she was there for me."

"how could i have been there for you when you left without telling me where you were going? i guarantee i have been there to comfort you after your father has run through you more times than she has."

"that's not what i meant-"

"then what do you mean, lo'ak? just help me understand what is happening-"

"SHE WAS THERE FOR ME WHEN NETEYAM DIED." you had pushed him so much, he snapped. lo'ak couldn't help but raise his voice at you. you were pushing his buttons, and you knew you were too. but this is not at all what you expected lo'ak to respond with

"wha-" you couldn't even form words while trying to process what lo'ak had just said.

neteyam is dead

"when…"

"four years ago" if your heart could break more, it would have. neteyam was like the older brother you never asked for. he always watched out for you when adventuring, treating you the way he treated kiri and tuk, like his little sister.

never in a million years did you think eywa would take such a mighty warrior from the world at such a young age.

"the sky people took him… we went to go save spider, and then he-" lo'ak got choked up, causing his mate to move so she could comfort him.

as she got up, the blanket fell to the floor, revealing the girl's baby bump.

"she's pregnant…."

"koa-" he tried to explain

"you did not tell her that you had a promised mate waiting for you at home? i was looking for you. i had hope that you loved me enough to wait for me because i told you i would come for you lo'ak. i told you i would, and yet… you got her pregnant…" the words felt like knives coming out of your mouth.

lo'ak started to get defensive. he didn't feel like he did anything wrong. he followed his heart, and his heart led him to tsireya. the girl who was there the nights he had endless nightmares, reliving the worst moment of his life. she was there when his mind started clouding with horrible thoughts. thoughts that haunted him until tsireya was finally able to pull him from the darkness in which he had submerged himself.

"oh, please don't act like you haven't thought about mating with someone else while i've been gone. eywa, i bet no'eng has been all over you since i've left."

that last sentence was like adding fuel to a flame. you were pissed.

"you know what? he was throwing himself at me. he asked me to be his tsahik and all." lo'ak scoffed, rolling his eyes "see, you're no better than i am, you traitor-" you didn't let him finish his sentence as you quickly raise your bow. the pointed edge being held at lo'ak's neck.

"i am no traitor. you will speak when i am done." not that he would ever admit it, but seeing this side of you terrified lo'ak.

what had he done to you…

you were not the same girl he remembered from when he left. but he refused to speak another word, unsure if you would hurt him, given the current circumstances.

"he asked me to be his tsahik. i went through the training, the lessons, the courting. and when the day came for us to mate in front of eywa, i refused. i told him, as i had been telling him and everyone else the entire time he was courting me. my heart belongs to lo'ak sully. i will not mate with anyone unless it is him. i will not be anyone's tsahik unless it is his. i will not bare anyone's children unless it is his. and yet i am stupid. i am stupid because here you are. mated, in love, starting a family with someone else when you said you would only do those things if it were with me."

"YOU HAD A DESTINED MATE, AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!" tsireya was fuming.

"the baby, my love," lo'ak said, trying to find any excuse to get her to calm down.

"i was planning on telling you," he tried but tsireya wasn't having it. "oh yeah, when, you asshole! before or after you got me pregnant?!!" she yelled, throwing a handful of sand at her mate, which he dodged.

"you've lied to me for five years about having a promised mate?" lo'ak looked at tsireya now. when he heard the hurt in her voice, he moved closer to her, cupping her cheeks.

another thing he used to do with you.

"reya, you were there for me. okay? i fell for you, and i promise you, i put it on eywa-"

"it would not be wise to trust someone who has gone against the will of our great mother-" koa advised.

"KOA, SHUT. UP. tsireya, you were there for me when 'teyam died. every second of healing you were there for. you never left my side, and for that, i will love you till the end of pandora." hearing the love of your life not only raise his voice at you for the first time but also confess his undying love for someone else right in front of you was your breaking point. you felt like someone stabbed you in the heart, twisted the knife, and ripped it out.

neteyam is dead…

lo'ak no longer loves you…

what else is the point of being here?

but you are strong and came for a reason, so you're not about to let this woman redirect your conversation with lo'ak.

"after i rejected the tsahik position and refused to mate with no'eng, my parents disowned me. they said i was selfish, that i wasn't thinking about the clan and only about my feelings. so for the next five years i traveled pandora looking for you. because i knew if i was welcomed anywhere in the world, it would be where the sullys are- no. it would be where lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan is." tears were pouring out of your eyes, and it was clear as day that they were not going to stop any time soon.

with eclipse approaching, you just wanted to disappear. you didn't care where. it wouldn't matter anyways. not when the one person who you flew around the world for, the one person who you dreamed of mating with, being with, had mated with someone else without a second thought about you.

"but i guess that is not true anymore, is it..?" you finally lowered your bow, throwing it at lo'aks feet. "i would rather remain defenceless for the rest of my days than use a bow gifted to me by a traitor."

walking away, you didn't look back at all. hopping over seze’s back, you instructed him, "fly." within minutes, you were back on the sand of the metkayina beaches.

still crying your heart out, you wandered the village aimlessly. you tried your hardest not to make much noise as you walked around and as you started to get lost in your thoughts, you bumped into someone, causing you to return to reality.

a very tall someone.

"oh! i'm so sorry i wasn't looking where i was going," you said as you quickly tried to wipe your tears away so you could see who you were talking to.

you made eye contact with a very handsome metkayina boy who had tattoos littering his body and a high bun on top of his head. it almost felt like everything went in slow motion as you two made eye contact. but again, you were reeled back to the real world when the boy spoke.

“don't worry about it- wait, you're not a sully," he said, looking more confused than he was a few seconds ago. "who are you, and how did you get here undetected," he said, starting to lower himself into a battle stance, but kiri's laugh rang in your ears before things could get carried away. you turn your head, seeing the girl walking up behind you.

"for someone who is the chief's son, you are very uninformed, ao'nung," the younger girl jokes, flicking the older boy's forehead. "she is a visitor from the omatikayan clan. a family friend of ours," she says, hugging you around your shoulders.

"kiri, i was looking for you guys. i have a question," you said as you nervously played with your hands, tears brimming your eyes for the millionth time today.

you were thinking about how you lost everything, your family, your friends, your home, and you would never get to see neteyam again. you traveled all over pandora and for a boy who mated with someone else the first chance he got.

"is it okay if i stay with you guys for a while? i can't go back home." the hurt in your voice was evident to both na'vi standing with you.

"wait, why can't you go home? did your parents pass?? oh, my condolenc-" you cut kiri off.

"no-no. kiri, you do not understand. i can not go home because i was disowned. by my family, by the clan. everyone hates me." kiri didn't understand. how could the village's sweetheart suddenly be shunned by the whole clan? resting her hands on your shoulders gently, trying to reassure you, kiri asked you softly, "...what happened."

"where is your mother," you asked, ignoring kiri's question. "she is in our marui. come, it is this way. sorry, ao'nung, we have to go, but i can formally introduce you guys later, ya?” the sully's eldest daughter said, walking you away to her family's marui pod. when the two of you arrived, jake and neytiri immediately turned upon hearing sniffles and sobs to see who was entering their home.

when they noticed it was you, they took in your expression and remembered where you just came from putting two and two together. they were immediately offering you comfort. neytiri was the first to move.

"oh, my girl. my sweet, sweet girl." her mother mode activated immediately.

"ma sa'nu... 'teyam..." hearing you say her deceased son's name only made neytiri cry harder. but not for herself, for you. you were losing so much at once, it wasnt fair. you were getting hit by a storm that you didn't even know was coming and even then, no amount of time or experience couldve prepared you for this.

"he is with eywa now... he is safe..." was all she said as she pulled you into a tight hug, making you cry even more because you hadn't felt a mother's love in five years.

having nobody to raise you was hard. growing up on your own, feeding yourself and your ikran, and surviving extreme weather and dangerous predators as a child who wasn't ready for the world was hard. you haven't felt warmth and love in ages, and this... this felt so nice. after how shitty the past few hours have been, this felt like floating on a cloud. a cloud you never wanted to come down from.

and then, when jake joined the hug, you felt the entire world go silent—feeling the two people you considered your parents your whole life embrace brought warmth to your hurting heart.

you felt peace. for the first time in five years, you felt peace! but of course, it had to be ruined by the sound of tuk and a boy's voice arguing with the last person you wanted to see.

"lo'ak stop. go back with tsireya! roxto pull harder!"

"i'm sorry, tuk, i'm trying!"

lo'ak walked into the entrance, roxto and tuk hanging off his arms, trying to pull him in the opposite direction. "koa! how dare you. you come to my clan, you mess with my life, you-"

you scoffed, "so, what? you're following me now?" you asked.

"you come to my home and say i'm following you? how ironic" lo'ak rolled his eyes. you get up from neytiri's hug, walking over to lo'ak so he can hear what you are about to say.

"i only came here looking for you because i thought you loved me, lo'ak. i guess i was wrong," you said, bumping his shoulder as you walked past. though before you got anywhere, he grabbed your arm.

"i'm not done talking to you-"

"FUCK YOU, LO'AK," you screamed.

the room was silent.

"have i not given up everything for you? have i not grieved every loss known to man? HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH FOR YOU, LO'AK?" if your tears stopped earlier, they sure are back now.

"i refused to be tsahik and rejected the finest man in the village all because of my love for you, so have i not given up my life? i have been disowned by my dear parents... my poor, poor parents, so have i not given up my family?" your body was so spent. you felt like she had been running on adrenaline for five years. you feel like it's starting to wear off, causing pain in every inch of your body. that's how bad this heartbreak hurt you.

"i have TRAVELLED AROUND PANDORA FOR THE PAST FIVE. FUCKING. YEARS. LOOKING FOR YOUR DUMBASS BECAUSE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD A PART OF ME KNEW THAT I WOULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE THE WAY I LOVE YOU, LO'AK..." there was dead silence in the marui. nobody spoke, nobody moved, nobody breathed. falling to your knees, you continued to sob on the floor in the sully family marui.

on your knees in front of the man who you thought loved you.

you raised your head to look lo'ak in the eyes as you said, "maybe that is a good thing, though. maybe i should not love anyone the way i loved you. because the way i loved you caused you to not only leave me alone but to abandon the will of eywa completely. if you hate me so much that you go to such lengths to get away from my love, i will leave to where nobody knows where or who i am. i am destined to be alone in this life anyways, right?.." you sobbed. everyone in the room felt their hearts break hearing you crying like that.

"i never thought you would do this to me in a million years. but i guess we all get a reality check one day." you said, standing up and walking out the marui, barely finishing your sentence. you ignored all protests coming from the rest of the sully family as you walked away.

you had been hiding away from the sully family since the day you and lo’a- him argued. it wasn’t because the family had done anything wrong. you just were not ready to talk about your feelings, and knowing jake and neytiri sully, they would find a way to make you speak like they do with all their kids.

over a week passed, and every time you saw someone from the sully family, you turned the other way and hid because then that would mean they would start asking you questions and probing you, and you weren’t emotionally ready for that right now.

it was eclipse, and you were sitting against a rock, looking out into the ocean with a lost look in your eyes. you were silently crying to yourself, wishing, praying that this was all a dream and that your worst nightmare hadnt coming true. yet you already knew it wasn’t a dream, but it didn’t hurt to try, right?

“i thought i would run into you again” it was a familiar voice you had only heard one other time, yet you couldn’t put a finger on who exactly it was. you didn’t have enough energy to turn your body, though.

the sleepless nights combined with the nightmares you got when did you manage to fall asleep created the worst sleep deprivation you’ve ever experienced. you didn’t think you had enough energy for anything anymore.

“hellooo?? pandora to crybaby! is anyone in there??” ao’nung was waving his hand in your face slightly.

“i’m not a crybaby, skxawng. this isn’t normal for me,” you defended yourself as you tried to quickly wipe your tears away, not noticing how close he had gotten when you were drowning in your thoughts.

the handsome boy you knew as ao’nung was someone you would often see wandering around the village. the boy had been looking for you. he was hoping he could catch you alone at some point so the two of you could talk. while he had seen you around a few times, you were always gone before he could even notice approach you. he also never got your name from kiri, so calling out to you wasn’t an option.

“i can tell. you look like a fierce female warrior who falls to nobody and nothing. so tell me, what’s got you stumbling?”

you had to think a little bit to understand the boy’s analogy, but you could only let out a heavy sigh once you understood it.

“that bad, huh?” he asked.

you scoffed, “i think we can consider this a fall, not just a stumble.”

ao’nung just chuckled at your response. “well, if you are going to fall over a boy who could not see the beautiful woman standing before him, fine. but please, at least let me be the handsome man who picks you back up again,” you started blushing a deep shade of blue at his words.

“do not flatter yourself, sir. handsome is being generous. you are mediocre at best.” playfully teasing each other, ao’nung keeps the joke going.

“mediocre?” the boy feigned hurt, completely fooling you in the process. since you don’t know ao’nung well, you thought you hurt his feelings.

“oh, no, i am sorry i thought we were joking around. i did not mean to hurt your feelings. eywa, can i get anything right” with how sensitive you were from the previous events this week, the tears were already starting to run down your face. before ao’nung could move a muscle, though, he noticed a woodsprite floating around your form.

there were two of them. you looked up for a second, only for your expression to fall and your eyes to widen.

“ao’nung... there is a woodsprite on your shoulder...” you whispered

“and there is one on your head,” he whispered back.

the two of you knew exactly what this meant but so suddenly? were you even ready for this? you are literally still going through the worst heartbreak in the world, and now eywa is telling you that this is who you’re destined to be with now? what about lo’ak? what about-

eywa bless this boy and his ability to drag you out of your thoughts because only she knows that you would need someone good at roping you in when you got lost in the sea of your thoughts.

“hey, look, i got filled in when i went home; i’m the chief’s son, tsireya is my sister. after we first metast week, i just wanted you to know that i understand what you’re going through. i also understand if you want to take this slow or if you’re not ready at all. regardless of what you choose, i will still be with you if you want to be with me. it would help if you had somebody on your team after all,” his charming smile sent a sense of security through your body.

at that moment, seeing ao’nung smile made you forget about all the troubles in your small world, and you finally felt what you hoped was happiness. maybe this is a good thing. you know eywa would never do anything bad to you. this, everything that’s wrong right now was the fault of lo’ak, but you refused to let him win.

lo’ak doesn’t get to be happy while you live your life miserable so you take ao’nung’s hand and say, “well, if eywa says it’s meant to be, then you really must be it for me, ao’nung.” the smirk on your face threw ao’nung through a loop because he had only ever seen you crying, but the boy wouldn’t let this deter him. he raised his large hand and wiped away any stray tears you had left.

“you are to be my tsahik.” ao’nung said as he pressed his forehead to yours. “i hope you’re ready for training, princess, because this ain’t the omatikaya clan.” you were shocked because although you refused the tsahik position in your home clan, you had dreamed of being tsahik one day. what made it so much better was that lo’ak promised you that you would be his tsahik.

not anymore.

“i thought lo’ak was next to become olo’eyktan.” you inquired.

“don’t be silly. you think i’m going to let a baby-tailed-”

“hey!”

“sorry, not you! your tail is cute-” ao’nung tried to save himself, but when he heard the giggle from you, he could tell you were joking.

“haha, very funny. you got me,” he said sarcastically, laughing alone with you.

“but, princess, you think i’m going to let some forest boy run my clan? absolutely not. i just needed to find my tsahik before becoming olo’eyktan, and my parents do not believe in arranged marriages. thankfully, eywa has finally brought you here to me, but we have just one problem.” the confidence radiating off of him was so attractive. he just oozed sexy, and you couldn’t help it. you shamelessly stared at your new promised mate, admiring all his muscles, tattoos, and personality.

the boy, who had yet to move his forehead from yours, looked into your eyes. it felt like he was looking into your soul.

like he was looking into your past.

like he was trying to read what kind of person you are.

and since you already decided that you wouldn’t love anyone the way you loved lo’ak, you let him.

you let him observe you, learn you, study your features and mannerisms, something nobody had ever done. something nobody cared enough to do.

“what is this problem you speak of, ma ao’nung.” the words felt foreign coming off your tongue, but you let it happen. you wanted to embrace this new environment, embrace this new home, embrace this new love and life that you were so graciously given by the great mother, eywa.

“i still don’t know your name, ma tsahik.” ao’nung felt the same, the words were foreign, but he had felt drawn to you the moment he laid eyes on you. he wanted you to talk him to sleep when he first heard your voice, he wanted you to be the mother of his kids, and he wanted you to be the best tsahik this clan has ever seen, right after his mom, ofc.

“my name is koa. i have no last name, and i am from nowhere. i have lost everything i love, but i’m hoping, praying to the great mother eywa, that this-” you say as you squeeze his hands in yours. “-is not for nothing. i hope that whatever comes of this new love, i will enjoy every second of it.”

“after everything you’ve been through, you deserve it, ma koa.” ao’nung said as he pulled his promised mate into a warm embrace. you hesitated before hugging back. although you’re good at flirting with your words, when it comes to physical attention, you folded. but can anyone blame you?

you had been touch starved for five years with nothing and nobody but you and your ikran the entire journey. you had not been held, caressed, or kissed in what felt like ages.

“i can’t wait to start a life with you,” he mumbled into the hug, and that sentence alone brought tears to koas eyes again, but for the first time in a while, they were happy tears.

“i can’t wait either,” you said before finally throwing your arms around his neck, causing ao’nung to fall backward into the sand. something they both laughed off and basked in.

today had been a long day, so you fell asleep together in the sand under the night sky.

ao'nung's father allowed him two weeks off of his olo'eyktan duties to get to know his new promised mate, and the boy hasn't ever been happier. for two weeks, he returns to being his teenage self, riding ilus all day, relaxing on the beach, and watching the sunset. he hadn't felt this alive in years, and now he was happiest with the person he loved most. to him, nothing in life could be any link.

you agreed. although it has only been a short two weeks being here, being home, you haven't felt this way in ages. though you get your bouts of sadness whenever you have a run-in with lo'ak, your olo'eyktan has never failed to be there for you in your times of need.

and you couldn't love him more for it.

"ya' know," ao'nung started, "when i first met you, i immediately knew." having to keep his voice under a whisper because the rest of his family was sleeping.

you giggled a bit as you moved closer to your boyfriend. "knew what, skxawng."

"i knew I wanted you to be mine—tsahik or not. from the moment i laid my eyes on you, you were prettier than any of the stars in the sky, the most beautiful woman i have ever seen." he marveled at his woman. he was looking at you as if you were his entire universe.

"didn't you get down into a battle stance the first time we met." you teased.

"i did, but it was only because i was out hunting the whole day, and i had not been made aware that we had a visitor from another clan. i just saw a pretty blue warrior, and i couldn't help myself," he said with a smirk. wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you against his body as if you weren't close enough. the two of you drifted off to sleep, not a care in the world.

a conversation came up one day when the sullys and the olo'eyktan's family decided to have a joint dinner.

"you know. you two should be living in your own marui." ronal said without hesitating in her actions. jake and tonowari, though, are both currently choking on their food. neytiri gasped, excitedly, "i was thinking the same thing!!"

within the next week, you and ao'nung were kicked out of his parents' marui and given your own home. ronal and neytiri said it was an early mating ritual gift, but jake and tonowari werent happy about it.

tonowari is protective of you like you're his own daughter. jake as well, so when they hear that ronal and neytiri were planning on giving you and ao'nung a marui for just the two of you to stay in, they immediately knew they would have to remain mentally preparing themselves for grandchildren. they were just protective dads, that's all. there's no harm in that.

on nights that ronal or neytiri would find their husband missing, they would know exactly where to find them. camped out in front of ao'nung and your home, ensure no babymaking was happening and it always ended the same. the half-asleep wife would drag her husband by his ear back to their home and scold them for not trusting their 22-year-old daughter.

jake and tonowari would argue that they were trying to protect their little girl from this world's harsh and cruel truths. their wives, however, argue that you're not a little girl anymore, and they want some grandbabies.

“ao! i have a question for you,” you called your boyfriend, soon-to-be mate, over as he walked into your shared marui, finally home from hunting.

at first, the man didn’t answer. he silently walked over to you, draping his body over your back and wrapping his arms around your waist. he reached up to turn your face so he could give you a kiss hello. “what did i tell you about questions before my hello kiss, baby?”

you playfully rolled your eyes at him, setting aside the bracelet you made for tsireya’s newborn girl. you had befriended the metkayina girl one day when she defended you from her own mate. saying how he has put you through so much, the least he could do was leave you alone.

after that, the two of you got to talking and then apologizing. tsireya told you how she never would’ve mated with lo’ak if she knew he was taken, but you assured her that it was a thing of the past and that you were with ao’nung. of course, that led to some girl talk, and you may have let it slip that the two of you were trying for a baby. of course, she was so excited to hear the news, but you swore her to secrecy.

your boyfriend, tired of waiting for a response from you, decided to regain your attention. you had a habit of getting lost in your head, and ao’nung was never one to be upset about it. he actually thought it was cute; your brain working so hard that you forget that you are in the middle of making dinner or beading a necklace for kiri.

“ma koa, i feel like if you don’t drown in the ocean, you’ll drown in your thoughts.” ao’nung said, pinching your side to get your attention. “answer my question, yawntu.”

“kiss first, questions later.” you said, rolling your eyes again as you brought him into a kiss.

“exactly, look at my smart girl,” he said, nuzzling his face into your neck as you giggled at how it felt. the two of you fell back, curling into one another and staying like that for a while. but not long after, you broke the silence again.

“ao,’ there are some people i want to invite to our mating ceremony. i know it is not traditional to ask other clans to attend, but they are the closest thing i have to a family outside you and the sullys. do you think your father would approve?” the hopeful look in your eyes made ao’nung believe that even if his dad disagreed, he would find a way to get your family.

“i will talk to him about it, my love. i wouldn’t want your family to not be present during our mating ceremony. it might take some convincing, but i will try ma koa. now sleep.” he said as he kissed your forehead, closed the flap to their marui, and drifted off into a dream.

ao’nung was on his hands and knees, begging his father and mother to invite the other clans to your mating ritual. they had given him their final answer 10 minutes ago, but the boy refused to take no for an answer.

“sa’nok… sempul… please. they’re all she has besides us. and she can’t only invite one or two. how would everyone else feel?” the things love will make people do.

ao’nung was never one to ask twice, let alone beg. if he asked his parents for something and they said no, then oh well. if he was supposed to have it, eywa would’ve made his parents say yes. but here he was, shocking not only his parents but also himself.

“a mating ritual is a sacred ceremony ao’nung. we can not just invite whatever clans we want to ‘come watch’. it is ridiculous.” ronal said.

“they are not ‘whatever clans’ they are her family.” your mate defended.

suddenly jake sully walked into the olo’eyktans marui. “i’m sorry if i’m interrupting anything but i couldn’t help but overhear that ao’nung was asking to invite the other clans to the mating ceremony.”

“this is a family matter, jake sully. please excuse yourself.” tonowari said, remaining civil.

“well koa is my daughter so i am a part of this family. look, i’m not trying to give you guys input or advice. i just want to give you insight. on earth-”

jake was cut off by a harsh hiss from ronal but continued. “please just let me finish. on earth we have ceremonies and celebrations called weddings. it’s similar to a mating ceremony but since skywalkers don’t have queues they give each other rings and wed themselves to each other. in these ceremonies both the male and female get to invite their sides of the family to watch them officially bond with the person who they love.”

ronal and tonowari take a second to think. they knew about your past by now but not how many clans she had visited. ao’nung had not moved from his place on his knees, showing just how serious he is about having his mates’ family there. it was only a few minutes of private discussion before the olo’eyktan, and his tsahik were ready to speak up.

“how many clans are there.”

ao’nung’s head shot up, a beaming smile on his face. “eight,”

it was the day of your mating ceremony. neytiri and ronal help with finishing touches, fixing your hair, straightening your headpiece, the whole nine yards. the men were over in ao'nung, and your marui helping him get ready.

you were worried sick but also frustrated, and everyone in ronal's marui could see it on your face.

"ma itetsyip, what is the matter?" neytiri said, holding your chin to look at her.

"none of the clans have shown up yet. i am terrified of mating with someone even though i've been dreaming about it since i was a little girl. i have no family to come to watch my ceremony and to make everything worse, i didn't eat breakfast this morning, so now i'm hangry." you could feel the tears brimming in your eyes.

kiri and tsireya just laughing at your dilemma while trying to keep you from messing up your face paint.

"oh dear, look straight down. koa, your tears will mess up your face paint if you keep crying!" tsireya said as she tried to fan her friends' tears while holding her baby.

"you became a real crybaby in the past 6 years, ya know that." it was only a joke, kiri trying to lighten the mood so you would stop crying, and it actually worked.

"i'm sorry, guys, i'm trying." you said, laughing at your friends' teasing through your tears.

"oh, ma koa, honey, we can always push the ceremony back if you are not ready." ronal offered, but you shook your head immediately. "sa'nu, i want to do this. i just wish i had someone to hand me off." you said with a sad look on your face. you knew jake or tonowari would do it in a heartbeat, but something in your heart told you that it shouldn't be them. it should be someone else.

while all the older women were talking and helping you out, tuk took it upon herself to pick some fruit for you. she noticed you skipped breakfast like you always had back when you all lived with the omatikaya clan. the young girl wandered around until she found the exact fruit she was looking for, immediately running to jake so he could cut it up.

coming back into the marui with the bowl of fruit that she made jake cut for her, tuk smiled as she offered it to you.

"oh, thank you, tuk. omg, it's the fruit i like, aww tuk-tuk, you remembered," you said, pulling the preteen into a hug, which she gladly returned. you smiled and quickly tried to finish the fruit before it was time for you to go out for your ceremony.

but then the clan's horns were blown, signaling an arrival or several. suddenly you can hear the screeches of banshees, the shrills of tulkun, and the chants and cries of clans people. that's when you knew your family had arrived.

you peeked out the flap of your marui pod only to see hundreds of na'vi. all from different lineages and places but still bonding and mingling with each other as if everyone here were one big family. your clans had come. all 8 of them. your family was here just for your mating ceremony.

"cry straight down, cry straight down," you reminded yourself. your mother figures couldn't help but giggle at your antics. kiri, tuk, and tsireya took the route to fully laugh at how you were acting.

"it's time," neytiri said, her and ronal looking at their little girl, all grown up, about to be mated before eywa. they couldn't be more proud of you. you surpassed the clan's expectations in the short year you had been there. you had become one of the strongest female warriors the metkayina had ever seen. you had completed your tsahik training and were finally ready to take on the world. and you were prepared to do it with ao'nung by your side.

"wait here!!" kiri and tsireya, who carefully handed her baby to tuk, ran out of the marui. it took them 5 minutes to return, but they weren't alone.

the 8 clan leaders, who took you in and cared for you, were standing before you. "your friends told us that you wanted someone to hand you off." the head of the anuri clan spoke up. it was the first clan you ever visited.

"she brought all 8 of us so you could choose which one of us you would like to walk down with." the leader of the kekunan clan spoke after.

you just smiled to yourself, already knowing who you would choose. still, before you could do anything, you noticed tiny eyes peaking at you behind the tawkami' olo'eyktans leg.

she gasped softly, "anuk?"

the second the boy heard her call his name, he rushed over to her, engulfing her in the tightest hug he could give.

"hi my little warrior, how are you? oh my you've gotten so big." you asked, scooping him up and hugging him to your chest. he hasn't actually gotten that much bigger. it was only about a few inches, but to na'vi, growth is growth.

"i miss you koa..." was all the boy could whisper. "well you are with me now, anu', okay? let's enjoy our time together." you said as you tried to set the boy on the floor, but he only clung to you tighter.

"anuk, baby you have to let go, just for now, only for the mating ceremony. then i'll come find you after okay?" the boy whined and shook his head, hiding his face in your neck.

you sighed, knowing it was hard for him to be away from the only person who helped him heal from losing his sister, so you just held him tighter

"ma koa, we have to get going soon or the village will think you got cold feet." ronal reminded her soon to be daughter in law.

with that being said, the tawkami olo'eyktan spoke up, “i'm so sorry, koa, anuk, you have to let her go. it is her special day-" he reached for his son, but the boy shied away.

"no he's okay, sir." you reassured as you held the boy in your arms.

"my poor boy. okay, come on." you said as you turned to your mothers, sisters, and the clan leaders with your head held high. this was the happiest anyone in the room had ever seen you.

"i'm ready," you said.

you walked towards ao’nung while holding anuk in your arms. ao’nung, kneeling in front of the metkayinian tree of voices, couldn’t help but let his mind wonder about you having his kids and starting a family with him. you guys had been trying for a baby for a while, but it was like luck wasn’t on your side.

seeing his mate-to-be holding a child was attractive, to say the least, but he quickly brought himself out of those thoughts and refocused on the love of his life.

behind you stood eight olo’eyktans—one from each clan you visited along your journey.

the anurai clan

the tawkami clan

the kekunan clan

the hulanta clan

the li’ona clan

the ni’awve clan

the olangi clan

and the rey’tanu clan

the clan leaders always found you out in the world, taking you in and giving you shelter and a home. which is why having them hand you off meant too much to you. they all treated you as if you were their daughter and never failed to make you feel at home no matter which clan you were in. but this, the metkayina clan, is where you want your forever home to be, and in the next few minutes it will be your forever home.

finally, when you got to where ao’nung was standing, you turned to your clan leaders and, untraditionally, hugged them. it only took a few seconds for them to reciprocate it, but eventually, it was one big group hug, and all you could say was a small “thank you.” after releasing from the hug, she still acknowledged them with the “i see you” gesture.

anuk allowed himself to be set on the ground, motioning “i see you” to you. it warmed your heart, so you mirrored his actions. the boy then walks over to his father, and the ceremony begins. you sit on your knees facing ao’nung, and once you settle, every na’vi present kneels along with the both of you as they prepare to watch your ceremony.

all eyes were on you and ao’nung, and for a second, you remembered the 15-year-old who dreamed of this moment. although it isn’t with who you dreamed it would be, you would argue that the way things are now is better than any dream you’ve ever had.

you and ao’nung didn’t break eye contact the entire ceremony. jake gave the speech about two young adults becoming one, and after what felt like the longest speech ever, it finally came time for you to create your tsaheylu. all nine clans went silent so the you both could have your moment.

there was not a sound in the sky or a splash in the water. it was almost as if eywa had silenced all of the nature around you. she wanted you two to focus on each other and not on any of the sounds around you.

the moment couldn’t have been more perfect. you reminded yourself to thank jake for mixing in some earthy wedding aspects to the mating ceremony, but you quickly regained focus, bringing your queue to your front. ao’nung mirrored your action, and you both held up the ends of your braid, watching the tendrils entangle. you released a soft gasp, and suddenly, your senses went through the roof.

you can feel each other’s feelings

you can hear each other’s thoughts

you could feel each other’s heartbeat

listening to your heartbeat was like music to ao’nungs ears, but as he listened a little bit harder, he noticed something. he reminded himself to bring it up to you after the ceremony when you both are alone in your marui pod

you and ao’nung are now mated for life, and you couldn’t recall a happier moment.

once the tsaheylu was created, both parties were given a few seconds to calm down. you opened your eyes, not even realizing that you closed them, and everything seemed to go in slow motion. you felt as if your world had stopped for a second. you and ao’nung were the only two things registering in your brain right now.

ao’nung, who was just as breathless as you, asked, “my mate, can i please kiss you?” bringing his hands to cup your cheeks.

you didn’t even respond. all you did was throw your arms around his neck to bring your mate into a kiss, and ao’nung wrapped his arms around your waist as he returned the kiss.

the clans erupted into cheers and cries of joy for the two of you. it seemed as if nature, the wind, the waters, and even the animals were cheering you on.

eywa was giving you a chance to soak at this moment because your life will never be the same from here on out.

and in your opinion, that’s a good thing

it was only a matter of minutes before you and ao’nung managed to slip away from the ceremony, finally having a moment of privacy

a moment to yourselves.

as you were still bonded with one another, it wasn’t hard for ao’nung to remember what he reminded himself to tell you during the ceremony.

you sensed a slight shift in ao’nungs emotions, but you couldn’t pinpoint the feeling.

“ma koa, there is something i want to tell you.” your mate said.

you were curious, allowing him to continue without interruptions.

“i noticed something during the ceremony,” he began, and the way he spoke was starting to sound like he was having doubts about mating with you. before you could drown, ao’nung sensed the heavy shift in your emotions and immediately began to reassure you.

“koa, it is nothing bad. i am in love with you and i wouldn't want anyone else as my mate okay? that is not, at all, what this is about.”

“then what is this about” was the first thing you had said to him since you two got to this private area.

“i heard something different about your heartbeat.” he said

you were confused. “i do not feel like anything is wrong, i mean my heart is beating fast but that is only because i am with you, my ao’,” you explained to your mate.

“That is not it. princess, there are two heartbeats… it is faint, but i am sure i can hear it.” ao’nung breathed.

you look at your lover to see him tearing up.

“wha… you don’t mean….” it finally clicked for you.

your mate hears two heartbeats in you, so that must mean…

“i’m pregnant.” the words were barely a whisper.

and then you were screaming out in joy, bringing your mate into the tightest hug you could muster as he reciprocated with just as much energy.

“let’s go to my mother to confirm,” your mate said, pulling you up as you both ran back to the village.

rushing through the crowd, you finally found ronal, and you couldn’t contain your excitement.

“I'M PREGNANT!!” you shouted, and it was as if everyone had heard you because everything seemed to pause. the music, the dancing, the singing, the chatting amongst each other. everything stopped.

“is this true?,'' ronal questioned ao’nung, looking down at their connected queues.

“we were hoping you could confirm it mother,”

“come quickly,” ronal took the two of you to her marui pod so she could check if what her son and his mate were saying was true.

it was only five minutes until you three emerged.

“it has been confirmed. koa is pregnant.” ronal announced, and once again, the clans erupted into cheers and celebration, and honestly, it felt as if it was even louder this time around. Everyone rejoiced, if this day could get any better, it just did.

since you weren’t fortunate enough to have a good family growing up, you wanted to ensure that your child had the most loving, caring family imaginable. as you looked around, though, at all the na’vi mingling around the island, all the different clans joined together; you knew your child would undoubtedly have the best family anyone could ask for.

#lo’ak x reader #avatar the way of water #awotw #lo'ak angst #ao'nung x reader #ao'nung #lo'ak #lo'ak sully #avatar 2 #avatar #avatar x reader

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lauras-collection · 2 years

Text

don’t blame me ✮ nathan drake smut

nathan drake x fem reader enemies to lovers

|| Masterlist ||

Summary:Ever since Nate broke your trust years ago the two of you have been rivals. This was supposed to be just another treasure hunt. But little did you know it’s gonna change everything.

Words: 8k

Warnings: SMUT 18+ [fingering, good girl, dom!nate, unprotected sex], mentions of someone wanting to kill reader, gunshots + gunshot wound, blood

A/N: Here it is, finally!!! As some of you know I wanted to post this the day uncharted was released. I didn’t quite manage that. But also this turned from an estimated 1-2k pwp into an 8k fic with a mediocre plot lmfao. I hope you enjoy!!! big thanks to @heyhihellowhatsup0 for helping with this fic and (lovingly) pressuring me into finishing it :D

Feedback is always appreciated ❤️

You’ve got to be kidding me. You think to yourself as your eyes land on none other than Nathan Drake. You’d hoped this would be a job without crossing his path. But you’re just not getting a break from him.

You can’t stand Nate.

That hadn’t always been the case, though. You used to be best friends and went treasure hunting together. You and Nate had been a team until he went behind your back. You never expected to be betrayed like that.

You live, and you learn.

“Look who it is,” Nate smirks, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“What are you doing here? You on vacation?” You ask, even though you know he’s here for the same reason as you: He wants the treasure.

“Unfortunately, no. But I’m sure you already knew that.”

“I thought you’d given up on treasure hunting after the last one slipped right through your fingers. Again.” You cross your arms in front of your chest.

“I’m not doing it for the money, sweetheart.” You hate it when he calls you sweetheart, and he knows it. You try not to show how much it annoys you as you take a sip from your drink. You wanted to unwind at a bar before leaving for the jungle tomorrow morning. But now Nate’s here, and it’s stressing you out.

You put the glass back down on the bar and rest your elbow against the wooden surface. “Oh, really? Does your bartending gig really pay that well?”

“Someone’s been keeping an eye on me, huh?” As a matter of fact, you have. You’re not proud of it, but Nate has been a thorn in your side for years, and as much as you’d like to forget about him, you need to keep tabs on him to stay ahead of him.

“Of course, I need to make sure you’re staying away from me.”

“You sure that’s the reason?” He raises one eyebrow, and you’ve already had enough of him. It’s not even been five minutes.

“I’m sure.”

He leans in so close you can smell him. You hate to admit it, but he smells divine.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve been keeping an eye on you as well.” A shiver runs down your spine, but you try to ignore it. Nate doesn’t deserve these reactions from you. But your body doesn’t seem to care.

“When are you leaving?” You ask, and finally, he puts more distance between you.

“This bar? Why? You wanna come to my hotel room with me?” He smirks, and you ball your fists in anger.

“You know what I mean.”

He tilts his head to the side. “Bummer. We could have a lot of fun, Y/N.” He knocks on the bar, turns around and then he’s gone. Without telling you when he’s leaving.

You mutter a few curses under your breath. It would be best to leave as soon as possible, but you have to wait for your boss to give you the final clue to find the treasure before you can head to the jungle.

***

So far, it’s going smoothly. Almost too smoothly.

You’ve got the notebook containing the clues to solve the final riddle to get to the treasure, and, so far, you haven’t had any hold-ups on your journey.

Well, except for running into Nate, of course.

You’re only surrounded by the sounds of the jungle as you make your way towards the lost ruins.

Ever since what happened with Nate, you’ve been on your own. Yes, you’ve got your boss’s support, and he helps you with a lot of things, but when it gets down to actually finding the treasures, that’s all you. Sometimes you’re accompanied by other treasure hunters that work for Moncada, but that’s been the exception these last few missions. You like being on your own. Minimises the chance of being betrayed by your partner.

After fighting your way through thick foliage, you think you hear an unusual noise. You’re on high alert now. It could be your boss’s people scouting the area. But he would’ve told you about that.

Could it be?

A grunt. “Dammit.” The sound of something crashing onto the ground.

You take a careful step forward, pushing the leaves to the side, and then you see Nathan fucking Drake standing up and dusting off his hands on his cargo pants.

You gotta be kidding me. Again. Out of all the possible routes through this huge jungle, you two ended up on the same one.

You consider sneaking past him to get ahead, but there’s no way he won’t see you.

“Getting old?” You call out to him, making him jump and turn to where you’re standing.

“Y/N. What a pleasure to see you.” His voice is dripping with sarcasm as he runs his hand through his hair.

“Ditto.” You roll your eyes. “Get out of my way, old man. I have a treasure to find.” You wave your hand like he’s an annoying fly you’re trying to get rid of. He kind of is.

“Oh, yeah? I thought you’d just gone out for a stroll.”

“Funny.”

“Also, I’m not old.”

“Mhm.” You don’t pay much attention to him as you start climbing up the overhang. With a practised eye and a firm grip, you manage to climb up without any problems.

You rest your hands on your hips and look down to where Nate is still standing.

“I wish I could see your face when you get to the treasure, and it’s already gone because I took it.” You smile smugly. You’d like to think you’re the better treasure hunter, but truth be told, both of you are great at what you do and have probably found an equal amount of treasures. You’re not going to admit that to him, though. Plus, there’s the fact that every time he does find a treasure, he ends up losing it one way or another.

“What makes you so sure you’re going to get there before me? Just because you’re ahead of me now? There are still riddles to be solved, sweetheart. Don’t get too excited just yet.”

You suppress a groan at the nickname and school your features. “Well, I’ve got an advantage on you though.”

“And what’s that?” He raises one of his brows.

You reach behind you and pull the notebook from your back pocket. “This.” You watch as Nate’s jaw drops, but you don’t allow yourself to bask in it too long. You need to get a move on.

Revealing that you have the notebook was probably not a good idea, but you couldn’t help it. Nate knows how to push your buttons. And you allow it every time.

“Y/N! Wait!” He calls after you, and you can hear him start to climb again.

Of course, you’re not waiting for him. You start jogging to get some distance between you and him, but the ground is not made for that, and you have to be careful not to stumble and fall.

Suddenly, you hear shots being fired, and it causes you to freeze. You hear Nate’s loud footsteps behind you and hold up a hand to make him stop. Thankfully, he does.

“What’s going on?” He whispers as he comes to a halt behind you.

“Didn’t you hear the shots?” You ask, carefully walking forwards.

“I did. But I thought that’s just your people doing what they do best.”

“And what would that be?”

“Being useless?” He says it as if it’s obvious. You don’t think they’re useless, though. They’ve helped you keep many people off your back. Sometimes you think of them as your bodyguards.

You don’t regard him with an answer; just continue to walk forward until you can see where the shots are coming from. When you can finally see a group of people, you don’t recognise any of them.

“I’ve never seen these people before.” You murmur. You don’t want to draw attention to yourself. It’s dangerous.

A treasure worth millions of dollars is somewhere around here, and people don’t shy away from killing to get to it. You have to be careful.

“It’s probably best if we stick together.” Nate muses, and you turn to him with a raised eyebrow. This might be the first time he suggests something like that. Seems like he really needs that notebook.

“I’m just saying. Neither of us know who these people are. And there’s safety in numbers, right?”

He does have a point. Even though it would be just the two of you against a group. And you don’t know how many more people might be around. You don’t see a downside of going with Nathan for a bit. Besides him being annoying, of course. But you’ll get over that.

“Fine.” You give in. “But keep the talking to a minimum.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

***

Of course, Nate doesn’t keep the talking to a minimum. He comments on every little thing. But you ignore it as best as you can.

You’re close to the spot where you suspect the treasure to be. Only a little bit further.

“So I was thinking…” Nate says as he follows you down the stairs of one of the ruins.

“Oh no. Does your head hurt now?” You ask with mock concern.

“Funny.” You can practically hear him roll his eyes. “When we find the treasure, I’ll let you have 25%,” This makes you stop in your tracks, causing him to run into you. You turn around swiftly.

“You’re letting me have 25%? You’ve got to be kidding me. You wouldn’t even be here without me. You’re lucky if I’ll let you have even 5% of it.” You place your hands on your hips and glare at him.

He looks at you for a few seconds, then you see the corner of his mouth quirk up. And then he’s full out laughing.

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s so much fun to rile you up.”

“I hate you.” With that, you turn around and continue walking.

“Thanks for reminding me, I almost forgot.” Nate’s voice is dripping with sarcasm. “Feeling’s mutual by the way.”

You turn around to him again. “You know, I don’t think this is working out. We should go our separate ways.”

Nate laughs, “Nice try. We’re so close to finding the treasure, I’m not leaving your side.”

“Because you wouldn’t find it without me.”

“You’ve got the notebook. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to find it without you.”

***

You continue to put up with Nate until you reach the chamber the treasure is in. You get that familiar giddy feeling you always get when you’re about to reach a treasure.

With Nate’s help, you push the huge stone that’s covering the opening away. You’re the first inside the room. The ceilings are high, but the only light source is coming from your flashlights. You’re surprised how intact this building still is.

You look around the room, but nothing really stands out until your flashlight reveals a stone chest in the corner of the room.

“It must be in there.” You mutter, even though you expected there to be more gold than just a chest of it.

Nate follows you there, you open the chest and…

Nothing.

Except for a note and a curious-looking dagger.

It’s no use, the treasure was definitely not here, and you had to basically start over. You can’t make sense of the note and the dagger just yet, so you and Nate decide to go back into town and try to figure this out.

You aren’t sure why you’re still entertaining him. You should have told him to fuck off ages ago. But even though he’s annoying, it’s nice to have some company for a change.

Once back in town you inform your boss of the new development. He’s not happy but knows there’s nothing you can do about it.

A couple hours later, someone knocks on your door, and when you open it, Nate’s standing there, a bottle of wine in his hand.

“Ready to figure this out?”

You’re surprised to see him, but then again not. You have to keep in mind that he was only after the treasure; he doesn’t want to spend time with you. And you don’t want to spend time with him.

You could just tell him to leave, but what harm could a glass of wine do?

Famous last words.

Two hours and two bottles of wine later, you at least know where to go next. But you’re also a little drunk.

“Have I ever told you how much I admire you?” Nate says, his cheek resting in his palm as he looks at you. His words are just a little slurred, and the way he smiles at you is almost adorable.

“Uh, no, I don’t recall you ever saying something positive about me.” You tilt your head to the side, unsure of where this is going.

“That can’t be true.” He rests his other hand on your knee. The heat of his skin takes you aback, goosebumps rising on your arms at the contact. “We had some good times together in the past, gorgeous.”

The pet name tenfolds the reaction you just had, and you tighten your fists, afraid he’d see your hands shaking.

“Don’t call me that.” You bite at him. He used to call you gorgeous back when you were still friends. It would make your cheeks heat up every time, and you’d tell him it’s annoying, but secretly you loved it. You loved the idea of him thinking you’re gorgeous.

But not anymore. Now it just brings back bad memories. Memories of his betrayal. How can you ever believe he meant anything he said when he went behind your back in the worst way.

“Why not?” He raises one eyebrow. His hand is still on your knee, and he gives it a little squeeze.

“It’s annoying.” You should make him take his hand off your leg, but you can’t bring yourself to it. It’s been way too long since you’ve had some human contact, and your body is soaking up his warmth like it needs it to live.

Nate tilts his head. “You sure about that?” Nate’s hand slowly travels higher on your leg, and the urge to squeeze your thighs together is worrying.

You look at him and catch yourself wondering what his lips would feel like against yours. If his hair is as soft as it looks. His cheeks are tinted red, from the alcohol, you assume. His eyes twinkle in the light of your hotel room. It’s annoying how handsome he is. And it’s even more annoying how much power he still has over your body.

Without realising, you’ve leaned in closer to him.

“Nate.” You want to tell him that this is a bad idea. That you and him together is wrong on so many levels. You want to tell yourself that, too. But these past couple of hours have almost felt like it had back in the day, with you and Nate working as a team. You felt like you were about to get whiplash from all these conflicting emotions.

“Y/N.” Nate cups your face with one hand, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. “Just let it happen, gorgeous.”

That’s all it takes. You feel your resolve crumble as he leans in. The tip of his nose brushes against yours before he captures your lips.

You shift even closer to him and slide one hand into his soft hair as you reciprocate his kiss. His lips are surprisingly soft as he kisses your top lip, then your bottom lip, before moving his hand to the back of your neck. You open your lips ever so slightly and flick your tongue over his bottom lip.

You can feel him smile, and then his tongue is meeting yours, and you tighten your grip on his hair. You don’t remember ever being kissed like this.

Your surroundings seem to blur as you push all your thoughts to the back of your head and allow yourself to just feel.

You don’t know how much time passes with you and Nate kissing, but when your name falls from his lips like a prayer, it’s like someone burst a bubble in your head.

You need to get some distance from him, so you pull away. For a moment, Nate follows your movement, his lips chasing yours, but you move your head to the side.

This is still Nate, the Nate you can’t trust. A couple of hours of teamwork don’t change that. If you don’t stop this now, you don’t know how far you’ll let things go. Probably too far.

“I think you should leave.” You whisper, unable to look into his eyes.

Nate pauses for a moment, then he nods and clears his throat, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay.”

As soon as you hear the door click shut, you let yourself fall back onto the couch and groan. How could you have let this happen? Yes, you’re a little tipsy, but that’s no excuse for just letting him kiss you!

But that kiss.

You don’t think you’ve ever had a better kiss in your life. The realisation makes you groan again. Nate doesn’t have the right to be such a good kisser!

Still grumpy, you get ready for bed. You’ll deal with your feelings in the morning.

***

You wake up before your alarm, and suddenly you have an uneasy feeling. As you look at the coffee table, you see two empty wine bottles along with glasses and lots of scrap notebook paper. It’s a mess.

Just like your head because you’re still thinking about Nate’s lips on yours. (That’s nothing against last night’s dreams, though)

Still slightly frazzled, you get ready as quickly as you can. You need to get to the treasure quickly before someone else can.

When you’re almost ready to go, you decide to clean up the room a little bit. You don’t want housekeeping to see the remnants of last night.

You throw away all the notes that led to nothing last night, and as you look at the clear coffee table in front of you, it suddenly dawns on you why you had such an uneasy feeling all morning.

The dagger is gone.

You turn over every pillow on the sofa and even look underneath it. Nothing.

There’s only one explanation. Nate took it.

You let him seduce you, and he stole from you. Taking a deep breath, you keep from screaming in frustration.

You knew you shouldn’t have worked with him. It seems to always end with him betraying you.

But hey, you were supposed to meet this morning. Maybe he didn’t actually go behind your back and will be waiting for you in the lobby?

Of course, he isn’t waiting for you in the lobby. As a matter of fact, you find out he has already checked out.

You give the receptionist a strained smile before heading out yourself. Maybe you can still catch up with him. At least you know where to look for him.

While you’re making your way through the jungle, you’re mad at yourself for letting him trick you so easily. You know what he’s like.

This is exactly what happened the last time you worked together. You woke up one morning, and he was gone with the diary that held all the information. Luckily the guy you two had been working with at the time had caught him before he was gone too far. That way, you were still able to obtain the treasure.

But it made you realise the kind of person Nate was. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. You thought you were best friends, but he betrayed you without blinking an eye. And now he’s done the same thing because you let your hormones control you for one evening.

Pathetic.

Suddenly, the sound of gunshots rings through the quiet jungle, and you can’t help but be worried. What if something happened to Nate?

You shouldn’t care, that’s what!

The gunshots didn’t seem to be too far from where you were, so you pick up your pace, trying to find whoever it is. Maybe not the best idea, but you’re curious.

As you break through the foliage, you notice Nate on the ground behind a rock, clutching his arm, blood seeping through his shirt. He’s been hit.

Suits him right, a small voice in your head says. You don’t want him to be seriously injured, but he deserves a little payback.

You crouch down next to him, making sure you’re not seen by the people still scouting the area.

“Y/N?” Nate seems surprised to see you.

“Shut up. I’m not in the mood to talk to you.” You hiss as you peek over the rock to see what’s going on. Just like last time, you don’t recognise most of the people, but one face is very familiar to you.

“Rafe? What is he doing here?” Rafe’s one of your closest associates. If you do work with someone on a treasure hunt, it’s with him. So why is he here but not working with you?

“He might be looking for the treasure, sweetheart.” Nate presses out as he tries to sit up.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up?” You don’t even look at him, your eyes still trained on Rafe as you try to make out what he’s saying.

“Moncada wants the treasure ASAP.” Rafe bellows, and the name of your boss makes you freeze. If he’s working for your boss, why don’t you know about it? Did Moncada send him as support? “Y/N should be around here somewhere.” You’re about to stand up, but Nate wraps his hand around your forearm and slowly shakes his head. You look at him questioningly, but then Rafe continues, “If you find her, shoot her.”

What?

You suck in a breath. Why would Rafe want that? You’ve worked quite well as a team in the past. Why does he want you dead all of a sudden?

“Moncada promised us a good bonus if we kill her, so keep your eyes open!” Rafe claps his hands, and his men start moving, but you’re frozen in place. Nate squeezing your arm pulls you out of your stupor.

“We need to find a hiding spot,” Nate urges while trying to get up. “I managed to trick them into thinking I ran into a different direction but if we stay here they’ll find us.”

For a moment, you just stare at him. Moncada wants you dead. Your boss and, in some way, your father figure wants you to die. A billion different explanations as to why he would want that flit through your brain but none of them make sense to you.

“Y/N!” Nate hisses, and even though you maybe shouldn’t, you follow him without thinking twice about it.

You end up in a small cave hidden away by vines and other foliage. Nate lets himself fall against one of the rocks, still clutching his arm. And finally, you can get enough of a grip to ask him what happened.

“Rafe and his men suddenly showed up. At first I thought he was on his own but as you might have noticed he’s working for Moncada.”

“Why does he want me dead?” You furrow your eyebrows and see Nate shrug his shoulders with a wince.

You’re pacing back and forth in front of him, too anxious to stand still. The moment one of Rafe’s men sees you, you’re dead. It doesn’t make sense. Rafe has been one of the men protecting you on your past adventures. How is he okay with just killing you all of a sudden? You thought you could trust him. Sounds familiar.

“I don’t wanna interrupt your crisis but a little help would be nice.” You stop your pacing and turn to look at Nate.

Shirtless.

“Why is your shirt off?” It’s out of your mouth before you can stop yourself, your eyes glued to his chest. You have to admit, he’s got some muscles. Nice muscles. You watch them move under his tan skin, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you start salivating in the next three seconds.

But it doesn’t come to that because Nate starts talking, and your eyes snap up to look at his face again. “Originally to get better access to the wound, but this is a nice side effect.” He winks, causing your face to heat up. You feel like you got caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing.

Maybe because ogling Nate is a bad idea.

“Shut up.”

Nate just smirks. “Will you help me now or are you going to let me bleed out?”

“I should, with how you stole from me.” You say but walk towards him anyway. He won’t bleed out if you don’t help him, he’s exaggerating, and both of you know that. Opening your backpack, you pull out your first aid kit. It’s come in handy many times.

Both of you are quite as you prepare to take care of the wound.

“I’m sorry.” Nate finally says with a sigh. “I shouldn’t have stolen the dagger from you.”

“Somehow I don’t really buy you being sorry.” You mumble before cleaning the wound with some water. Then you apply some gel, being rougher than you need to be.

“Ouch! Be careful!” Nate complains, but you have no intention of being soft with him. “I really am sorry!” Nate insists, then he lets out a groan of pain, and maybe you are just a little bit softer with him.

You reach for a bandage, and Nate visibly tenses when you get closer to him.

“I’ll be gentle.” You reassure him. “If you explain.”

“Why I did it?” He raises one eyebrow.

“That much is obvious. Why you’re sorry all of a sudden. You didn’t bat an eye at stealing from me in the past.”

“I’ve realised some stuff.” Nate lets out a breath while you gently wrap the bandage over his arm. You can’t help but notice how well defined his biceps are. Focus!

“And what did you realise?”

Nate takes his time before he answers. You’re tying up the bandage when he finally speaks up.

“That being angry with you all my life won’t do me any favours.” He clears his throat. “Yeah you broke my trust when you just left me for dead on our last mission together but–”

“I didn’t!” You can’t believe what he’s saying. “You were about to take off alone with the diary. You stole from me just like you did last night! You’re a thief Nate. And I thought you would at least have some respect for your friends, or even just your best friend at the time.” You point at yourself. “But you didn’t. You stole from me like I was some random person you couldn’t give two shits about.”

Nate looks to the side with a sneer. “So fucking stupid.”

“Excuse me? Did you just call me stupid?”

“And what if I did? What are you going to do about it?”

“I’m so sick of your fucking games, Nate. When this is over I don’t ever wanna see you again.”

“And I’m sick of your higher than thou attitude! As if you’re better than me! You’re just some lonely girl finding treasures to get the praise she so desperately needs. I bet you run back to Moncada every time you find a treasure, wagging your tail, presenting it to him like a good little puppy!”

“Shut up! You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“You shut up, or I’ll make you shut up.” His voice is menacing, but you’re not scared. The air between you both is charged, and as much as you know you should take a step back, you don’t. You’re standing so close that the fabric of your shirt is brushing against his skin, and you can feel his body heat radiating off of him.

“I’d like to see you try.”

Nate doesn’t answer, not verbally. But in the next moment, one of his hands is on the back of your neck and his lips on yours. You let out a surprised whimper. You weren’t expecting him to kiss you. Not again. And not when he had nothing to take from you.

You don’t think as you fist your hands in his hair and pull him closer. You don’t think as you open your mouth and deepen the kiss. And you definitely don’t think as you let him lead you backwards until your back makes contact with the wall.

You wrap one of your legs around his hip, his hand immediately there to steady you. You’re still feverishly kissing as you feel his hips rut into yours, causing you to moan.

“You’re so fucking aggravating.” You manage to say between kisses, and you think you hear Nate growl. You can’t ignore the tingling in your lower belly any longer, even though you’re almost ashamed that, of all people, Nate is the one to draw this kind of reaction from you. Almost.

“Try being in your company for a day, you’ll know who’s the aggravation one then.”

“I hate you.”

“You sure about that? Doesn’t seem like you hate me right now. The way you’re rubbing yourself on me.”

Now you’re the one growling.

“I bet if I’d put my hand in your panties you’d be dripping for me.”

You pull a face at his words. It’s not that he’s wrong, but it’s annoying that he knows what he’s doing to you.

You decide to challenge him, though.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” You say, leaning your head back against the stone wall so you can look at him. His eyes are hooded, his lips slightly swollen from your kisses.

“Wanna bet?” He raises one eyebrow, and you mirror his expression. You know you shouldn’t underestimate Nate, but you wanna know how far you can push him. “Let’s see then.” He says before starting to unbutton your pants.

He’s really doing it.

Your heart feels like it’s about to jump out of your throat it’s beating that fast. Your breathing quickens in anticipation.

And then he’s running his fingers through your folds.

“You’re so fucking wet for me Y/N. Try to deny it all you want, you’re dying to have me cock inside you.”

You moan at the sensation of being touched by him, but you don’t want to have him get the upper hand. “So are you going to do anything about it, or are you one of those guys who’re all talk and can’t even find the–“You can’t even finish the sentence before his thumb is on your clit, drawing tight circles.

“What was that about being one of those guys?”

You wanna curse at him, but now he’s pushed two fingers into your cunt, and you’re unable to form proper words.

“What was that?” He’s smirking. He knows your putty in his hands now, the way you’re holding on to him. The way you’re pushing your hips into his hand, craving more.

You start to repeat what you were going to say, but then his fingertips brush against a particularly sensitive spot inside you, and all you can do is moan.

“That’s what I thought. He chuckles softly. “Had I known this is how I get you to shut up, I would’ve done it a long time ago.”

You pull on his hair with a moan, but he just laughs. “Just like that, gorgeous. Let me hear you.” He tightens his grip on your thigh and picks up his pace. You’re a moaning mess, but at this point, you don’t care.

You don’t care that you’re supposed to hate him.

You don’t care that he’s the last person you should be attracted to.

You don’t care that he seems to be enjoying the way you’re unable to talk back.

Because he’s making you feel so fucking good.

“I know you want my cock, baby, but you’re not getting it.” You pull on his hair again in protest. “Not until we find the treasure.”

“Fuck you.” You manage to say, but Nate just chuckles. You don’t know what could possibly be funny about this.

He hums as he leans in to place soft kisses on your neck. “This isn’t easy for me.” He whispers in your ear, making shivers run down your spine. Your pussy tightens around his fingers, and you’re certain you can feel him smile. “I’m so fucking hard you have no idea. It’s taken a lot of control to not just bend you over and fuck you stupid. Until you’re so fucked out you can barely walk. But we’ve got a treasure to find, gorgeous.”

And then he leans back and just looks into your eyes as he keeps fingering you, his thumb playing with your clit. You’re unable to look away as his pace slows down and something seems to shift in the air. You’re drowning in his eyes. You’ve always loved his eyes. Cherished every moment you got to see them up close. But you’ve never been this close.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N.” Nate almost pants. He nudges the tip of his nose against yours before he plants a kiss on your lips. Just one simple peck. One might even say an innocent kiss if it wasn’t for his fingers that were still moving in and out of your dripping cunt. “Bet you’re even prettier when you cum. You gonna show me?” He asks with another kiss and picks up his pace. Just a little, but it’s exactly what you need.

“Yes, fuck, right there.”

“You gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” His words are barely above a whisper, but that’s all it takes to push you over the edge.

Your mouth falls open as your orgasm washes over you, and if possible, you pull yourself even closer to Nate.

“That’s it.” He hums, his eyes moving over your face. “So fucking gorgeous.”

Nate keeps praising you as you come down from your high, his forehead resting against yours. When your breathing is almost back to normal, he starts neatly putting your panties back in place.

“You’re wrong.” He murmurs, his nose brushing against yours as he pulls up your pants. Normally, you’d feel belittled if a guy was doing this. Or at least you’d feel used as if he’d want to get you dressed as quickly as possible so you could leave. But with Nate… It feels like an intimate moment, and you have no clue why.

“What are you talking about?” Your hands are still in his hair; you can’t seem to let go of him. You should push him away, tell him you can dress yourself, thank you very much. But you don’t.

“I would’ve never stolen from you.” He zips and buttons your pants before looking at you. You don’t know how he can just pick the conversation back up after what just happened. But oh well, if he wants to keep arguing, so be it.

You tilt your head to the side. He has to realise how ridiculous that sounds just hours after he did, in fact, steal from you.

“Back then.” He clarifies. “I trusted you with my life.” He looks at you intently, his hands now on your hips. “I cared so much about you.” He pauses and closes his eyes for a few seconds. “I still do. Despite everything that happened between us, I care so fucking much about you. Rafe knew that, and he used it against me. He kept telling me how he’s gonna make sure you’ll be okay. You’ll be taken care of. ‘Don’t worry, Nate. I’m gonna make sure you and your girl get a decent chunk of the money.’ He said. But Rafe had spent months planting doubts in your head. I didn’t realise it back then, but in the final months of us working together, you started becoming more and more distant. You would go to him with new clues first.

“At first I didn’t think anything of it. I thought you did it because he’s the more experienced treasure hunter. But then you started keeping things from me. I felt like you were going behind my back, that you didn’t want to work with me anymore. And then one day Rafe sent me to scout the area and when I came back both of you were gone.”

It’s hard to wrap your head around everything Nate is telling you. And maybe you should be a little more careful because you can’t be a hundred per cent sure that Nate is telling the truth. But your gut is telling you that he is. At some point during the past 24 hours, you realised that Nate isn’t the egoistic asshole that you thought he was.

Yeah, okay, he stole the dagger from you, but wouldn’t you have done the same in his position? Probably.

You watch him for a moment. He’s got no reason to lie to you. He’s the one with the dagger. He could’ve just run off with it. He doesn’t need your help. But yet he asked for it. And even more importantly, he saved your life earlier. If it wasn’t for him, you would’ve run straight to Rafe when you saw him. And you’d be dead.

If he had told you all of this last night, you wouldn’t have believed him. But now? You believe him.

It makes sense. Now that you’ve seen Rafe’s true self, you can see him manipulating you. Doing everything to get you and Nate to split up. Nate hadn’t been the biggest fan of Rafe. Or even Moncada. He didn’t like the idea of just finding the treasure for someone else. But Rafe told you time and time again that Moncada would reimburse you more than enough. And ever since you started working for him, he kept his word. But back then, you and Nate had argued more than once if working for him and with Rafe was a good idea. But Nate always agreed because you trusted Rafe. And Rafe got you to trust him more than your best friend. The realisation feels like a punch in the gut.

“So you’re saying that you didn’t try to steal from us? That Rafe made that up?” You feel stupid because it all makes sense. Why didn’t you realise it sooner? Why did you let yourself be manipulated by Rafe?

“He played us.” Nate nods. “For whatever reason he wanted to get rid of me and turn us against each other.”

“So all these years… I hated you for no reason?” You feel guilty as you say this. Thinking back to all the things you said to him. All the length you went to beat him, to be the better treasure hunter when you could’ve worked as a team this whole time.

“Hey, don’t feel bad. I hated you, too.” Nate smiles at you, but you can see that he, too, feels the guilt.

“Can I…” You start, and his eyes focus on yours. “Can I give you a hug or something?” You ask, not sure how to deal with all of this. Asking for a hug is probably the weirdest thing, considering his fingers had been inside you not too long ago, and your hands were still resting at the nape of his neck.

Nate lets out a laugh but wraps his arms around your waist. “You’re so weird.”

You tug on a strand of his hair which makes him laugh even more, but then he’s holding you tightly, and you can feel his warm skin everywhere.

“I’m sorry.” You say after a while. “I shouldn’t have allowed Rafe to turn me against you. I don’t even know how he managed to do that. You’re the person I trusted the most.”

“Don’t worry about it Y/N. He’s a conniving, manipulative son of a bitch. And you were impressionable. We both were.” He shrugs his shoulders. “He wanted me gone. And he knew how much I cared about you and used that against me. There’s nothing we can do about it now.”

“Actually, there is.”

***

Your plan is to simply find the treasure and be gone before Rafe gets there. Now that you’re working with Nate again, you know you can do it. There was a reason Rafe wanted to split the two of you apart. You were too good together.

And now that the air between you has sort of been cleared, Nate isn’t even that annoying anymore. Sure, he’s still a little shit. But instead of it slowly driving you up the wall, you almost find it charming.

“So now that we’re on good terms again, does that mean we’re going to split the treasure accordingly? 75% for me and 25% for you?” Nate asks as he follows you along one of the tunnels that will hopefully lead you to the treasure. You know he’s got a smirk on his face without having to turn around.

As a reply, you just flip him off.

Finally, you reach a heavy stone door that, according to all the clues you have, should be the only thing between you and the treasure right now.

You turn around to Nate and motion for him to step forward. “Go ahead,” The dagger needs to be inserted into the keyhole in the centre of the door.

“I’m honestly surprised you haven’t attempted to steal it back from me.” Nate muses as he steps closer to the door while rummaging through his backpack.

You can’t help but smirk.

“Funny you say that.” With that, you pull the dagger from your own backpack and wave it in front of his face. You took it from him back in the cave while tending to his wound.

“Are you serious?” He gapes at you, making you laugh.

“Just because we had a little heart to heart doesn’t mean I completely trust you again.” You shrug your shoulders before walking to the door and inserting the key.

“That’s fair,” Nate mumbles while you turn the key. It isn’t easy, but you manage to do it, and with a loud clacking noise, the ancient mechanism starts working. Dust and dirt fall to the ground as the door slowly moves out of the way.

You take a tentative step forward. This could very well be just another trap. But you’ve done this for long enough to know that it’s not. This is the real deal. You open the chest closest to you, and there it is. The treasure. And there’s not just one chest. There’s dozens of them.

You turn around to Nate with the biggest smile. “We did it!”

Nate mirrors your smile. “I guess we did.”

And there’s still no sight of Rafe and his men. You’re over the moon. All the tension leaves your body, and all you can feel is pure joy.

Giddy, you throw your arms around Nate’s neck. He stumbles back a bit, not expecting your outburst, but then he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer.

You don’t remember the last time you got to celebrate finding a treasure with someone else. And because this feels like a special sort of victory, you’re even more excited. And before you know what you’re doing, you’re pulling Nate close to plant a kiss on his lips. You can feel him smile against you, his hands moving to cup your ass and all the excitement you’re feeling suddenly turns into lust. The kiss turns heated as you open your lips.

“I think there’s something you wanted to give me when we find the treasure.” You raise an eyebrow at him before moving one of your hands to where his cock is already straining against his pants.

“If you’re not careful I’ll bend you over right here and now.” He grumbles, his eyes dark.

“I dare you.” You smile at him wickedly. “But make it quick, we don’t have much time before Rafe shows up.”

You don’t have to tell him twice. With one quick movement, he whirls you around and bends you over one of the large treasure chests. Wetness pools between your legs. You never thought you’d be fucking on a treasure, but it’s exciting as fuck.

Nate’s impatient, trying to pull down your pants without even opening them. It’s not working, so you quickly fumble with the button. Before you can get to the zipper, it opens itself as Nate finally pulls down your pants.

“Been thinking about this all fucking day.” He says as he struggles with his own pants. “Look at you. So fucking gorgeous bent over for me.” You look back at him just as he pulls out his cock, and you can’t help but moan. He’s hard, precum already dripping from the tip.

“Hold on tight, baby.” He says and steps closer to you. You try and find something to hold on to, finally reaching for the edge of the treasure chest, digging your fingers into the sturdy material. You push your ass in the air, impatiently waiting for the moment he’ll finally fill you up.

Nate places one of his hands on your hip, and you’re tingling with anticipation. “You wore these just for me? You expected to get laid in the jungle?” He asks as he slips one of his fingers under the edge of your underwear. It’s one of the prettier pairs you own, not the functional ones you’d usually wear on a trip like this. But you wanted to feel sexy and confident, who can blame you?

“I’m wearing these for me,” you say with a certain edge to your voice. You want him to stop talking.

“Sure you are, sweetheart.” Then you feel your panties digging into your skin for a second before a cracking sound fills the air, and the pressure is gone.

“Better.” You hear Nate murmur, and your mouth falls open in shock.

“Did you just rip my underwear?”

“Oops.”

“You son of a–“

You don’t get to finish your sentence because the next thing you know, he gently kicks the inside of your foot, causing you to spread your legs further before pushing into you, stretching you out, and you can’t do anything but tilt your hips to give him better access.

“Looks like someone loses the ability to speak once their cunt is filled.” Nate leans over you, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. You reach back with one of your hands, grabbing a fistful of his hair like you’ve down before, not tugging on it, but just holding onto him, keeping him close.

“You feel so fucking good, gorgeous.” He starts thrusting, and now you are tugging on his hair. “I love it when you pull my hair.” He says, then places a kiss right under your ear. One of his hands is holding onto your hip tightly, the other resting on the treasure chest next to you.

His thrusts are slow and deliberate, and as much as you love this, you don’t have all day.

“Faster, Nate. Give it to me.”

Nate grunts at your words, but then he picks up the pace, fucking into you like there’s no tomorrow, and somehow he manages to brush against your g-spot every time. Your whole body is wound uptight, your hips slamming against the treasure chest with every forceful thrust, and you know you’re gonna have bruises tomorrow, but you don’t give a fuck.

“I’m so fucking close.” Nate presses out, his thrusts growing more erratic.

“Cum for me.” You tug on his hair. “Fill me up, Nate.”

“Fuck!” He rights himself, both his hands now on your hips, and if possible, he fucks even deeper into you, and suddenly, without warning, you’re coming undone.

Your walls tighten around him as a guttural moan leaves your lips, and then you feel him cum inside you.

He keeps thrusting lethargically until he’s completely spent, then he slowly pulls out.

You feel your combined juices dripping out of you, and even though your mind is still clouded from that intense orgasm, you reach between your legs to not ruin your pants. He’s already destroyed your panties, and as hot as that was, you still have to make your way back to the city.

“Can you hand me a tissue or something?” You ask, your breathing still heavy.

“Ah, shit, wait. Take this for now.” He hands you something, and you can’t fight the urge to roll your eyes.

“Are these my panties?”

You hear Nate chuckle before his hand covers yours, his other arm wrapping around your waist to pull you into a standing position, holding you against his chest.

“I’m sorry I ripped them.”

“Are you really?” You lean to the side and look back at him with a raised brow, the smirk on his face is all you need to know. “That’s what I thought.”

He helps you clean up before calling Sully to organise the relocation of the treasure.

When you’re finally back in the city, knowing you beat Rafe to the treasure, you feel like you’re on top of the world.

You know he still wants you dead, that you have to be careful. But you’ve got Nate and Sully (who was sceptical at first but agreed to give you a chance) protecting you. Perhaps you should take a break from treasure hunting for a while. It would be the smart thing to do, get off of Rafe and Moncada’s radar. But you know when the next opportunity to find a treasure comes along, you won’t hesitate to go after it.

You don’t know where you and Nate are headed, what the things that happened between you mean. But you know you’ll figure it out.

A/N: There it is!!! i hope you liked it! I’d love to read your reactions <3

besties tag: @spidermanlondon ☆ @duskholland ☆ @heyhihellowhatsup0 ☆ @annathesillyfriend ☆ @hazofmyheart ☆ @emilykjh ☆ @sinisterspidey ☆ @lovebittenbyevans ☆ @miraclesoflove ☆ @seasidetom ☆ @selfcarecap ☆ @missevrythingg ☆ @userholland ☆ @softholand ☆ @hotforharrison ☆ @osterfield-holland-andcompany ☆ @thecodyexpress ☆ @worldoftom

Don’t blame me tag: @enjoy-the-destruction // @namoreno // @t-hollanderr // @julster

#nathan drake x reader #nathan drake smut #nathan drake angst #nathan drake fluff #nathan drake fic #nathan drake fanfic #nate drake #uncharted #uncharted movie #tom holland

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jerzwriter · 3 months

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A Different Fate - Final Chapter

OMG, it took me entirely too long to complete this, but I'm so happy now that it's done! I am so, so grateful to the anonymous (to you, not to me 😉) donor to the Write for Gaza project, who requested I finish this by the end of January. Well - I did it! And thank you so, so much - I can't tell you how much it means!

A Different Fate - Series Masterlist

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (past)

Featuring: Tobias Carrick, Sienna Trinh

Rating: Teen

Words: 3,700

Category: Short-Series/AU/Lost Love

Summary: Ethan's first attempt to talk to Casey didn't work out, but now, with Tobias & Sienna's help, will it finally work out? Or will they have to resign and accept their fate?

A/N: When I started this, it was supposed to be a one-off, and now, I'm finally done after 5 parts! It's funny how these things take on a life of their own. I know a few of you have been very anxious for this to post, and I thank you for your extraordinary patience. I hope you find it's worth it in the end! @choicesjanuary2024 Day 23 - Hope Ethan x Kaycee Masterlist | My Full Masterlist

The bus jolted forward the moment the light turned green, jostling its passengers around like dolls—every passenger except for Sienna Trinh. Growing increasingly impatient with her “charge,” she sat firmly in place, arms crossed defiantly before her chest.

“This is a stupid idea!” She said, slapping a startled Ethan’s arm across the bus aisle.

“Oww!”

“Don’t oww, me!” She fired back. “You blew my advice off yesterday, and look how well that went. Maybe you should listen to me now.”

“I know,” Ethan droned. “But this is different.”

“Si, I have to agree with Ethan on this one,” Tobias said, his face twisting as he realized his words. “Shit! It hurt more than I expected to say that.”

“Thanks, pal.”

“Don’t mention it,” Tobias smirked. “Si, he can’t do this right now. He’d have to ambush her at work, and you see how well that went. We have a plan in place; it will be fine.”

“Normally, I’d agree with you, but I’m done tempting fate with these two. Something always goes wrong.”

“Look, the bonehead has put it off eight years. It can wait another eight hours to ensure it’s done right.”

“You know,” Ethan interrupted, “it might be helpful if the two of you wouldn’t talk about me like I wasn’t here.”

Sienna turned to him, brow raised. “It would be great if you didn’t need the two of us here to make sure you don’t blow it!”

“She makes a point,” Tobias nodded, pleased with Ethan’s exasperation.

“Can we stick to the point?”

“The point is, you’ll speak to Kaycee tonight.”

“Yeah, after your date,” Ethan chuckled ruefully. “

“It’s not a date!” Tobias spat. “You know damn well I’m just going to the party with her to get that asshole Douglas off her back.”

Ethan shot a half-doubtful look.

“Really?” Tobias said incredulously. “I’ve been rooting for you two since she left Boston, and this is how you treat me? Trust me, Ramsey, all Kaycee wants is you, and the last thing I’d ever want is to have you as a metamour.”

Sienna’s nose scrunched. “A meta-what?”

Tobias waved her off with a chuckle. “Trust me, Si, you’re better off not knowing. Now, stop worrying. I’ll take Kaycee to the party, give the creepy doctor a few death stares, and after a drink or two, I’ll mention you’re in town, play wingman, then you swoop in for the grand finale. We’ve got it under control.”

“Yeah,” Sienna rolled her eyes. “With you two at the wheel, what could possibly go wrong?”

~~~~~

“I’m coming!” Kaycee clumsily rushed across her apartment to answer the door, slipping into her silver heels along the way. She opened the door breathless but stunning nevertheless. “Hey,” she smiled.

A grin spread across Tobias’s face; he had forgotten how well Dr. MacClennan cleaned up. With her long blonde curls cascading over her shoulder, barely skimming the bodice of her strapless ice-blue gown, she looked more like someone who spent her day posing for Vogue than saving lives in scrubs.

“What do you think?” she grinned.

“What do I think? If this is how you look for a fake date, what the hell do you do on real ones? How many heart attacks have you been responsible for, MacClennan?”

“Shit!” She said with a stomp of her foot. “I screwed up! I shouldn’t have brought you tonight!”

“Oh, why?”

“I should have invited Dr. Douglas himself! If I knew cardiac arrest would be the result, well, that would be one way to be rid of him.”

Tobias burst out laughing. “I forgot just how wicked you could be.”

Slipping an earring in, she winked. “I’d feel guilty about it ten minutes later. Not guilty enough to start CPR, but guilty all the same."

"Well, I'm happy to provide a less lethal way of getting rid of Dr. Jackass.”

She grabbed her clutch off the side table and looked at Tobias, casually leaning against the door. She swore he hadn’t aged a day, still wearing that signature confident swagger as well as he wore his dark, tailor-made suit. She crossed her arms and shook her head disapprovingly.

“What?” He asked, checking his attire to see if something was wrong. “Do I not clean up as well as you?”

“Too well. If word gets out that I’m dating you, no one will ask me out again. They’d be afraid of the competition.”

He chuckled softly, visions of Ethan in his mind. “Well, let’s hope it won’t come to that.”

Stepping to Kaycee’s side, he offered his arm. “Shall we?”

“Let’s go!”

~~~~~

The party was exactly what one would expect to cap off the career of a renowned doctor from one of the top hospitals in the world. The rooftop ballroom’s floor-to-ceiling windows provided a panoramic view of the City’s famed skyline; fairy lights scattered throughout the room illuminated it with an ethereal glow. Warm notes from the piano wafted through the air, competing with the gentle hum of convivial chatter as tuxedoed waiters distributed flutes of Dom Perignon. Tobias and Kaycee were on a mission and played the part of an enamored new couple so well that they earned envious stares, not only from Dr. Douglas but from several others as well. But as much fun as that was, Tobias couldn’t get his mind off his primary goal of the night: getting Ethan and Kaycee together. He looked at his watch. She only wanted to stay two hours, and they were about to hit that mark.

“Hey,” he whispered, “Wanna take a spin around the dancefloor before we blow this joint? Make this look legit?”

Wordlessly placing her empty champagne flute on a passing waiter's tray, she took Tobias’s hand and led him to the dancefloor. Ironically, finding the most privacy they’d had all night.

“Dancing was a good idea,” she said. “Everyone knows I wouldn’t leave a party without dancing... and it’s not like you’re a stick in the mud that would refuse me.”

“Kacyee, it would be difficult for anyone to refuse you.”

“Yeah,” she smiled sadly, “You’d be surprised.”

“I don’t know about that. For Christ's sake, you used to get Ramsey to dance back in the day. I thought only an act of God could accomplish that!”

Kaycee’s body tensed, and her feet seemed to forget what they were supposed to do. As she stood still on the dance floor, Tobias looked her in the eye.

“I’m sorry, did I overstep?”

Kaycee shook her head and continued to dance. “It’s been so nice seeing you, but it takes me back, and sometimes, that can be hard, you know?”

“Yeah, I do. It takes me back, too, but is that such a bad thing? We had some good times.”

“Ha! It all depends,” she chuckled. “Do you have a time machine? Because I’d be happy to go back, but only if I could write a different fate.”

“I can’t do that,” he sighed. “Not the time machine part, but... maybe I can help with the different fate.”

Her brow furrowed. “What?”

“Come on,” he said, taking her hand. “Follow me.”

Kaycee remained silent as they ran down the plushly carpeted hall. But, when they found an empty banquet room, she wanted answers.

“OK, we’re alone now. What’s going on?”

“I want to talk to you about Ethan.”

Kaycee shook her head, throwing her hands in the air in frustration.

“We did that. We had that conversation at dinner the other night. We don’t need to do it again.”

“Did we have that conversation? Because as far as I remember, I didn’t tell you that he was here.”

“He’s what? He’s here... like in New York?”

“I’ll do one better,” he smiled. “He’s sitting at the bar in the lobby.”

Her eyes narrowed, and Tobias wasn’t sure if he saw shock or anger flickering in them.

“You told me he was in Boston. You said he refused to come with you!”

“He was. Or at least I thought he was. But when I got to my hotel that night, he was there.”

She crossed her arms smugly. “So he came to attend the conference. Right?”

“Nope. He didn’t come for the conference. He came here for you.”

“For me?” Her voice cracked. “He came here for me. Yet he’s been in town for two days and hasn’t reached out to me once.”

“Well... about that. He did. He stopped by Langone yesterday and sort of heard you tell Dr. Douglass that you had a thing... for me.”

Kaycee felt her stomach drop. “No!”

“Yes.”

“No, no, no, no! He doesn’t really think I want you, does he?”

“Hey, don’t act so disgusted!” Tobias said defensively. “Believe it or not, most people would kill to get with this... but Ethan knows you’re not one of them. I can’t give you a time machine, but you can give yourself a second chance.”

She remained silent, her heart beating faster as she stared out the window into the night.

“Tobias, it’s taken me eight years to say his name without crying. To recall our time together and feel whistful, not just sad. I’m content with my life here, and if I open that door and it slams shut once again... I don’t know that I could take it.”

“Kaycee, you’re right. Eight years have passed, and a lot has changed. Like you – you’re not a young, wide-eyed resident anymore. You have a brilliant career that can only be attributed to one thing – and that’s you. No one could dare say you made it because you were involved with him. You love each other. Why keep denying it.”

“He loves me?” She asked. “He used those exact words.”

“Well, he didn’t actually say the words, but... why would he say them to me? Why don’t you give him a chance... to say them to you?”

“But Tobias,” she said with a quiver in her voice. “What if... what if it doesn’t work?”

“But Kaycee... what if it does?”

~~~~~

Boston and Philadelphia had skyscrapers for sure, but neither city could hold a candle to New York, and right now, Kaycee couldn't be more grateful to the town she now called home. Sixty-eight floors, she thought, taking a tentative step into the elevator. Sixty-eight floors stood between her and the lobby, and she hoped they’d stop at each one.

Standing in the back corner, she relied on the walls to keep her upright as passengers piled in. She needed time. Time to think, to decide what she’d say, to breathe.... sixty-eight floors should have given her the time she needed to center and gain a semblance of composure. But it went by in an instant, and when the elevator doors began sliding over, all she could do was watch in horror.

Her head was spinning, and her mind was lost in a cloud of confusion. Ethan was waiting in the lobby... for her? It couldn’t be real. Tourists and locals alike chatted happily about their evening plans as they stepped out, a direct contrast to Kacyee, who stood frozen in fear. Only the elevator operator’s gruff voice brought her back to reality.

“Ma’am, are you getting out?”

She turned to him, then back to the door, and considered returning to the grand ballroom. But something inside her stirred. Tobias was right; she was no longer playing the part of the ingenue, filled with hope and naivete that were somehow both her greatest strength and weakness. No, she was a big girl now, and whatever happened when she walked through that door... she’d be able to handle it.

“Ma’am," the man repeated with increased irritation. “Shall I close the doors?"

“Uhm. No," she said, standing upright and dusting off the front of her gown. “No. I’m getting off here.”

The world seemed to move in slow motion as she stepped into the lobby. If this were a movie, Ethan would be waiting across a crowded room, their eyes would meet in an instant, and the credits would roll as soon as they shared a perfect kiss, one that left no doubt that they were destined for happily ever after. But real life seldom ran so smoothly, as Kaycee was about to confirm. She looked all around, to the left and the right, but no sign of him. She walked the perimeter of the room, even just outside, and still... nothing. Tobias said Ethan would be at the bar, so she returned and hopped on a stool to wait and wait. She was patient at first, but five minutes passed, then ten. Her fingers began to rap against the rich mahogany countertop when it reached fifteen, and by twenty? By twenty, she had enough.

Standing up with a weary sigh, she chastised herself for opening that door even a crack. You should have learned by now, she thought as she headed toward the exit. She was almost outside when she saw Tobias coming off the elevator. She turned on her high heel and headed his way. Why lambast herself if she could lambast him? He didn’t see her coming and reacted with surprise when he felt the shove on his shoulder.

“He’s here, huh? He’s waiting for me at the bar? Well, guess what? He didn’t show!”

“Kaycee,” Tobia started, but she wouldn’t allow him to speak.

“No! Don’t Kaycee me! This is precisely l why I didn’t want to get my hopes up! This is how it always ends with us... either he walks away, or he doesn’t show... and I swore I wouldn’t put myself in this position again!”

“Kayce, if you’d just let me....”

“NO! No, I don’t want to hear what you have to say because all that matters is that he’s not here! He’s not here, and....”

Her breath hitched when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Is that....” she whispered.

“You know,” Tobias smirked. “You might want to turn around.”

She turned around slowly, and just like that, life was imitating art. A feeling of warmth surrounded her the moment their eyes met. He may have aged a little, but she’d know him... she’d know those eyes... anywhere.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, handing her a single red rose. “I stepped out to buy this from a street vendor. I thought it would be a nice touch.”

With her heart racing, she lifted the flower to her nose and inhaled its fragrant scent.

“And that took twenty minutes?” she grinned, putting Ethan at ease.

“Well, I also needed to go to the men's room. It took more than one glass of Scotch to get up the nerve to offer you an apology that could make up for eight years.”

“Ethan,” she whispered, at a loss for words.

“Well, this is the shittiest rose ceremony I’ve ever seen, and I’ve had to suffer through many an episode of The Bachelor,” Tobias observed. He pat Ethan on the back. “Nice touch, a little cheesy, but not bad for you.”

“You can go now,” Ethan grumbled.

“I was planning on it,” Tobias nodded at Kaycee, then looked Ethan in the eye. “You two can take it from here. Don’t fuck this up.”

“Can we?” Kaycee asked once Tobias was gone. “Can we take it from here, or will one of us mess it up somehow?”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” he smiled. “Why don’t we go someplace and talk.”

~~~~~

She couldn’t remember leaving the hotel lobby or how they decided where they would walk. All she knew was they ended up strolling along Central Park West, a comfortable distance between them, as she chattered aimlessly about nothing at all. Anything to avoid an awkward silence or, worse yet, an awkward conversation. While Kaycee faced straight ahead, Ethan couldn’t keep his eyes off her. She was as beautiful as he remembered, perhaps even more so. He was afraid if he took his eyes away, she’d disappear, and he wouldn’t allow that. Then, even in the dim streetlights, he saw her starting to shiver, and without missing a beat, he removed his jacket and placed it over her shoulders, bringing her to a stop.

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a half step back. “You looked cold.”

“Yes,” she smiled nervously. “It is... it is getting cold.” She motioned to a food truck on the edge of the street and smiled. “I’d suggest we get coffee to warm up, but I know that wouldn’t meet your standards.”

“Is that what you want?” He asked. “Go. Go sit on that bench, and I’ll get us some.”

“You’re going to drink coffee... from a food truck?”

Ethan shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips. “I have to start living a little sometime. Tonight sounds like the perfect time to start.”

He walked away, and Kaycee hollered after him. “Wait, you didn’t ask how I wanted my coffee."

He turned around with his hands in his pockets and utter confidence. “At this hour? Decaff. Definitely, decaff with a splash of milk, preferably almond, but if they don’t have that, plain milk will do. And Splenda, two Splenda... even though you know they’re not good for you.”

A slow smile spread across Kaycee’s lips. “You... remember.”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I remember everything.”

“Well, I take three Splenda now,” she winked, and he felt his heart flutter.

“Go sit,” he smiled, and she all but skipped away.

She watched his silhouette in the ethereal light, still attempting to convince herself this was real. But she had to believe it was true when she felt the steaming hot cup in her hand. She watched with anticipation as Ethan took a sip from his cup and couldn’t help but laugh when he tried to contain a grimace.

“Oh, it’s funny,” he smiled. “Do you enjoy watching me suffer?”

“No,” she whispered, gently taking his hand and placing her coffee on the bench beside her. “No, I think we’ve both suffered plenty, and I don’t want either of us to suffer anymore.”

The touch of her hand impacted him more than he could have imagined, and he found himself unable to speak. He turned to her with tears in his eyes, just managing to mutter her name before pulling her into a tight embrace. Kaycee buried her face in his shoulder, taking in the warm, familiar scent she used to know so well. One of Ethan’s hands was entangled in her curls, while his other arm pulled her as close as he possibly could. They stayed there a long while, silent and amazed at the reality – both had assumed if this day were ever to come, it would be filled with fireworks. An explosion of passion that couldn’t be felt miles away. But the reality was different. It was warm, safe, comforting, a loving embrace each had desired for so long – it wasn’t fireworks, it was coming home.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” her voice cracked. “I can’t believe you’re in my arms.”

“I’m trying to believe it myself,” he said, pulling back to gaze into her crystal blue eyes. His hand cupped her chin, his thumb tenderly stroking her cheek. “You’re so beautiful. What kind of fool am I depriving myself of seeing this face for so long?”

Kayce reached up to take his hand, gently placing a kiss on it. “Then, shall we try to rectify that now?”

“We could. If that’s what you want.”

Kaycee sat back with a smile so gentle and warm Ethan didn’t need words to know her answer. She reached up and messed up his hair. “How did we screw us up so badly? I mean, I can blame it on being young and stupid, but you didn’t have that luxury.”

Laughing, he took her hand. “You may have been young, but you were never stupid. You knew so much more than me. I know there’s no fairy godmother that will show up with a magic wand, and I know we will still have things to work out. But the thing I know most of all is that I love you. I love you with all my heart, and I’ve wasted too many years without you by my side. I’m determined to put an end to that as soon as I can.”

“You love me,” she sighed. “Well, that’s good... because I love you. I love you so much.”

Ethan reached over and embraced her, letting out a joyful groan as he lifted them to their feet. She held on tight as he spun her around, stopping to gently put her back down. They stood face-to-face, a world of memories crossing their minds as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Time and distance had done nothing to them; their love remained the same. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, lighting a flame that had flickered but never extinguished. It was more than a kiss. It was a promise, a silent vow that was a testament to their love, which had never, ever died.

“We can’t screw this up, Ethan,” she said as they broke away. “If we’re going to do this, I want this to be forever. I can’t lose you again.”

“Good!” He grinned brighter than she had ever seen. “Because I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Ethan offered his arm, which she gladly accepted, nuzzling her head into his shoulder as they started to walk.

“So, where are we going?” She asked.

“Well, I do have a hotel room nearby.”

Kaycee playfully nudged him. “A hotel room? Mister, I have a whole apartment, and it’s quite nice! You know, your girl did all right for herself!”

“Oh, I’ve kept tabs on you. I know you did.”

“Then let’s go!”

As they walked to her apartment, they passed the café Kaycee had dined in not too long ago, and she told Ethan the story of that night. How two estranged lovers had come together, and he professed his undying love. She relayed how she was trying to listen in on their conversation, but in the end, she didn’t need to since the young man yelled it out for all to hear. The crowd applauded, and she secretly paid their bill. It was straight out of a movie.

“I’m glad you got to see that,” Ethan smiled. “You always loved a happy ending.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she agreed. “And now, I’ve got one of my own.”

(Yep that last part was from Part 1. 😊)

Thanks so much for reading!

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

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