#fic: ditto (hope you feel the same) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ackerfics · 1 year

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just say it, ditto: eren jaeger

— i got nothing to lose, i keep falling for you; ra ta ta ta, there goes my heart.

eren jaeger x female reader

summary: each note eren's heart sings is about you. it's only a matter of time yours sing about him, too.

word count: 6.8k

notes: i am proud to say that this is my comeback in posting full fics here. now watch me never posting one after months. jk. but still, i'm rusty when writing longer fics so i hope you enjoy this one! treat this as a gift for being one of the 2,000 people who made this blog possible <3 + it's pretty obvious newjeans is my favorite kpop group rn oop

— You’ve long since given up on relationships.

How many partners has it been since the start of university? With how that sounds, one will think that you’ve been breaking hearts around Paradis University; notorious for being a heartless individual with no value for the depth of emotions. That assumption rings false. One hand can sum up everything romantic you’ve experienced but these relationships felt longer than the time span they actually had that you’ve lost count of them. Everything becomes hazy to a point that everything morphs into a misty film reel, unlike the rose-colored lens you’ve always seen the world with even without the pretense of falling in with someone. You’re not one to be desperate for this fickle thing called love but every once in a while, you crave blanketing words that make you see flowers, unbridled laughter amidst piles of note revisions and readings, and hugs that feel like a warm cup of coffee in a chilly night of loneliness.

Your relationships always end in the same way — they couldn’t handle the way that you see and do things; the way you have to be the last one to have the say in an argument, how you should be left alone when you’re too immersed in finishing your tasks, or when you have the tendency to be absent despite being there for them (if that makes any sense). They say you’re too focused on your goals (there’s nothing wrong with trying to finish college just to be in one of the country’s best medical schools) or you’re too snarky and blunt for them to handle (you have a bad day when this happens).

So, you just let them go. Let them win.

It’s not that you’re tired of those repeating circles of words but because they’re right. You’ve been too snarky, picky when you’re eating something, focused on your future, never clingy for someone to be called a significant other — you just don’t have the strength to continue having those relationships even though you’ve seen the world in pink when you’re with them.

The break-ups all end on a sour note, like the time you’ve been given a piece of candy without being told it’s the sourest shit on the planet. Maybe that is why you’ve been scared of romance, to begin with — the appearance may seem sweet but you’ve taken a bite, and everything takes a turn for the worse. Yeah, you understand that relationships can have their ups and downs; but when you’ve heard your boyfriend talk to his friends about how you’re so irritating and downright rude most of the time, him crossing the line as he said that this specific girl from the other class is far sexier than you can ever be and that he wants to fuck her instead (coupled with a few explicit crafting of words that disgusted even your most open-minded friends) … You have already dropped the paper bag filled with his favorite food.

That’s just one of the break-ups. God knows how much patience you have for going through much worse.

Besides, you like spending your junior year with fewer worries than the previous years.

But sometimes, you always think of how lonely you are; like what does it feel like to have someone so patient that they assure you they’re always there for you? Or to feel so secure in a relationship that it’s like a warm fireplace, which can go on for so many hours keeping you warm and safe? You swear you don’t want your heart broken again but you still crave that rush love brings to you.

It doesn’t help that you see these things in your best friend.

Eren Jaeger is someone who you completely met by chance back in freshman year, back when you were all about making sure that your marks are pristine and that your parents can have another opportunity in being the proudest that they can get.

You remember him lingering in the doorway of your dorm room, something that you were wary about until he turned around to face you with this comical teary face that didn’t fit in with his overall broody aesthetic. He claimed that Mikasa, his best friend, and practically sister since they grew up together in the same house and your roommate, accidentally took his wallet back to your dorm room. One thing you know about Mikasa in the three weeks you’ve roomed with her is that she sleeps like a bear in hibernation. So, you unlocked the door to your dorm room and told him that there was nothing to worry about because you’d get his wallet and attached keys. That way, he could have his merry way home and he would be a passing face in university. Until he invited you to have dinner with him as thanks.

You accepted since it was free food and you just got out of a three-hour lecture.

The rest is history. It was there you got to know Eren as more than just Mikasa’s childhood friend. He asked you why you picked your major, you asked him how he was faring in his — the night ended with you two exchanging numbers and following each other on your socials.

He’s seen all of your failed relationships. While Mikasa tears up with you and Armin consoles you by rubbing your back, Eren is the embodiment of anger.

He once threatened to storm out of your dorm room to fight your ex after one break-up that had you picking up the broken shards of your self-esteem and confidence. He didn’t even hear Mikasa shouting for him to calm the fuck down but all it took was for you to plead for him to stay and never make a wrong decision.

“Eren, just stay,” your breath hitched with how hard you were crying. The break-up drained you for an entire day. Your ex dared to lay out every wrong and insecurity you felt to make him feel protected — that he would have a better relationship if he went out with the girl he met a few weeks after you two started dating. You look up at Eren, your bottom lip wobbling. “Don’t go out there.”

His entire demeanor softened. Walking to you, he sat on his haunches in front of you, his stare never wavering as he regarded the way your tears made your eyelashes clump together. Why’d you had to be pretty even when crying? He pushed the thought away and clasped the hands wringing the material of your skirt into both of his. The door behind you two closed — an indication that Mikasa gave you two the privacy you both needed, the girl decided to spend the rest of the day with Armin, who was begging to be updated on what was happening to you. Eren was sure the two of them would buy some groceries, anything you prefer, just to make you feel better. They’re awesome like that. Everything blurred into nothing when you’re in his view. You kept silently crying and while he still found you beautiful, he was itching to start a fight with that asshole of an ex you had.

Eren lifted your entwined hands to his lips, kissing them and making time stop. “I’m going to beat him,” he murmured against your knuckles.

You shook your head.

“He made you cry.”

You still shook your head, bowing to curtain your face with your hair.

“I hate it when someone makes you cry.” He gulped down the nervousness clogging his throat. “I fucking hate it when they managed to make the most amazing person fall in love with them and just break her heart after. Sweetheart, you don’t deserve to be treated like this.” The term of endearment flowed from his tongue like it was meant to — natural. “You deserve so much more than this. You deserve…” Was he about to say, me? What the fuck was he thinking? Now, he was the one who shook his head, mainly to dispel the thought from his head. “You know,” his voice was so quiet, “someone is willing to give you the love you deserve and it will take some time to meet them.”

You took your hands from him and he panicked. Did he say something wrong? Synonymous thoughts pulsed through the walls of his head, that was until you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. With the way he was still sitting on his haunches, his face became buried in your chest. It was almost like you were the one comforting him and not the other way around. He should be the one doing the comforting but God damn it, your warmth made him melt in everything that you encompassed — scent, presence, just you and only you.

“I’m tired of finding that love.”

“You have me — us, Mikasa, Armin, and the rest of our friends,” the way he saved himself was pathetic.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“You know I love you, right?”

Damn, there went that squeeze around his heart. He knew the meaning behind those words. You meant it in a more platonic manner because you never once said those three weighty words to your ex-boyfriends. Those who had the luxury to receive the phrase from you were your friends and it sadly included him. He didn’t want to walk around in this position. He wanted to be more. But that would mean you discovering his feelings for you. And yes, they ran deeper than the trenches discovered by mankind. You made him feel that kind of love — the type that gave him butterflies, tornadoes, bonfires, and all the seasons combined. You were the reason why he smiled most of the day, the reason why he looked at everything through a lens that presented all the colors in the spectrum and not just the usual hazy pink.

“Eren?”

He buried his face deeper in your chest, the song of your heartbeat lulling him. He wished it was faster like the way his own tapped inside him.

“I know.”

He once again masked everything by saying the words back, with more ferocity and affection and intensity than yours did.

“I love you, too.”

That day was the reason why you stopped entering into relationships not worth your time.

You deserve a love that is more than what you seek from forgettable faces.

So, you focus on yourself … and the way Eren makes you question these budding feelings now that junior year rolls around.

“Where did you get this?” Eren asks when he trails his eyes on your hand sitting idly on top of the desk the private study rooms of the library offer.

He’s sitting beside you trying to get some work done before finishing the study session and getting some food from the nearby restaurants in the university town (which is a short walk from the library you both chose). What should be a group session becomes a pair because apparently; Mikasa has to go prepare for her mock trial with the rest of her class, Armin has to finish the pending experiment his group is doing for one of his laboratory classes, Jean has to be a fucking responsible teaching assistant for once in his life, Sasha has to cover some restaurant for her review (the deadline being later at midnight), and Connie has to attend his goldfish’s funeral (he doesn’t have a goldfish; their dorm building doesn’t even allow pets).

You find their excuses plausible except for Connie, bless his soul and his imaginary goldfish. So, now you spend the rest of the free day with Eren in the library, booking one of the study rooms for some well-deserved peace. You’re listening to some of your favorite songs when he speaks, catching his lips moving at the corner of your eyes.

“Hmm?” you hum while pulling down your headphones around your neck.

“This.” The moment he takes your hand in his, your heart starts pacing faster. “Where did you get this?” Eren carefully and softly runs his finger on the spots of red on the skin of two of your fingers. The scars seem fresh because you flinch. “Sorry,” he whispers.

“I didn’t realize I had that until Mikasa pointed it out actually,” you answer him.

He winces. “You don’t have any band-aids?”

You shake your head. “I forgot to buy some.” The way he stares at you makes you pout. “I did forget, Eren.”

“Yeah, yeah, got that.”

You’re about to go back to studying when you feel a pair of lips graze the scars on your hand. Time slows down and you swear you witness the room illuminate. Eren has his eyes closed, his long eyelashes tickling your skin. You forget to breathe when he opens them to give you the sight of his teal irises reflecting your wide-eyed image. His lips are still on your hand, the tingling sensation of his growing smile traveling through your arm and to your chest, warming up every part of your body until you feel your face flare. The gesture is completely new to you.

“There,” Eren says. “Tell me if the pain starts acting up,” he pulls back and leans on his chair, your hand still tenderly cradled on his palm. “I’ll take it away.”

You take your hand from his and hide it from behind the sleeve of your fluffy cardigan. You try to bring back your concentration but all you can think of is the feeling of his lips on your fingers. While you’re berating yourself, you never notice Eren grinning beside you, his heart thankful that your friends ditched you two in this study session.

It’s only when you two walk to your favorite restaurant that you register how annoyingly cheesy all that was.

Today is not your day.

You’re walking in the halls of your department building and even with the flow of liveliness surrounding you, all you hear are muffled noises and the deafening footsteps echoing on the floor. You were doing fine when you entered your first lecture of the day — more than usual it seemed. The friends you made in some of your classes saw how you cackled near tears at some unfunny joke that shouldn’t warrant that much hysterical laughter. Nobody would even suspect that you feel so sucked of all the vibrancy you always carry in the pockets of your jeans after continuous periods of sitting on different-structured chairs and having to participate in some impromptu recitations. You love being in university — you really do. It’s just that there are certain aspects of it and specific time frames that you have to admit how exhausted you are. So, as your friends chatter around you, you keep your head angled to the floor, your hands keeping the laptop case close to your chest.

The conversation unfolding in your presence is interesting but all you can manage are tiny hums of agreement or weak chuckles. The subject switches from enduring another period of recits, to the laboratory reports that needed to be turned in, to how there should be another store in the university town that sells any kind of food, and to who is the reddest flag among your peers. It’s almost like you’re watching shows with your father — always flipping the channel until he finds the one he’s most comfortable with.

Your mind is both empty and running a thousand miles per step. Sleep beckons you in a way that you have no say over. You’re pretty sure Mikasa is going to cook something delectable as always — that’s one thing you’re looking forward to when you go home to your shared apartment. A heavy sigh comes out of your chest, lifting your shoulders from the weight Atlas transferred on you.

Looking at the floor becomes bland and you have to lift your eyes to what’s in front of you.

Right at the end of the hallway, where the building lets the outside light pass through the entrance and exit doors, are Eren and some of his classmates, probably just coming out of a recent class, judging by their sluggish nature. You two share the same department building despite having different majors — him with his pre-med and you with neuroscience. You recognize some of them in the group photos Eren was tagged in on Instagram, like that boy with auburn hair who sneers every time someone so much as breathes within the same space as Eren or that boy with the slicked-back blond hair and army green bomber jacket. And in the middle of the group is one of your best friends, teal eyes hooded with boredom and hair tied up in that effortless bun he likes so much. He doesn’t see you yet and you have the urge to call out to him but you don’t find the energy to. Your social battery is already on the brink of shutting down and guilt starts dripping into your stomach.

Almost like he senses you, Eren meets your eyes.

He stops in the middle of the hallway with his hands in his pockets and eyebrows furrowed. You keep walking with your now curious friends. Who is this guy staring at us? Wait, he’s kinda hot though. Damn it, now I have another crush in this stupid university. You can hear them talking but you see nobody but him, your sneaker-clad feet carrying you closer to him.

With only a few paces separating you from him, he retracts his hands from his pockets and opens his arms with that lax posture of his. His friends are looking at him like he’s crazy but you know what he’s doing.

Your lip wobbles and you let out a shaky breath. You’re walking faster now. Just a couple of steps away.

Eren wraps his arms around you once you reach him.

He threads his fingers through your hair, cradling your head close to his chest, while his other arm secures you to his body, silently pleading for you to never stray far. There’s a pounding in the air, with you not knowing whose heart composes the vivace tune; because right now, you can feel your heart racing despite the calm Eren induces in you.

You two stay like that — suspended at the moment. Nothing in the world matters except for you two. Words aren’t exchanged. The moment Eren sees you walking that way, he instantly knows. You have that connection with him. One look is all it takes for him to swoop in and let you feel that you have someone to lean on as he leans on you. You feel that sentiment in the way he slightly tightens his hold around you, pressing you more so that all you can hear is his breathing and his unsaid thoughts. The scent he carries entangles with yours, similar to how your hearts beat in complement to one another. You bury your face in his chest and he buries his own in your hair. The exhaustion makes your joints creak and your dim world seeps away the longer he softly scratches your scalp with tender strokes.

You nearly cry as his lips seal this moment with a firm kiss on the crown of your head.

“I got you,” Eren whispers to your ears only. “I always got you.”

Shit, there goes your heart.

“Your next lecture is still an hour later, right? Let’s go get some coffee.”

For the first time in months, hope blossoms and you willingly let it fester.

“You okay?” Mikasa asks you as soon as she gets inside your shared apartment. She slides her tote bag from her shoulder, all the while never taking her eyes off you as you stare at nothing in the living room, your revisions and notes scattering the coffee table. “Babes?” The term of endearment is so natural between you and Mikasa but you’re so out of it that you don’t hear her call for you. “[Name].” She taps your nose with the tip of her finger.

“Oh, welcome home,” you greet once you get out of that daze.

Mikasa looks at you a second longer and places her hand on your forehead.

“Mikasa?”

“No signs of fever,” she murmurs, cupping your face in her hands. “You’re not overworking yourself again, are you?” Her voice gains that stern tone. Trust Mikasa to always pull you to the ground whenever you have one of those study sprees, only having coffee for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. “You know it hurts me to see you overworking. Hold on, let me whip up something for you.”

How can you tell her that you’ve been feeling unproductive because of her closest person? Because of that little heartstopping moment earlier, you’ve been in a constant spiral, neglecting your school work even when you already laid out everything in front of you. This isn’t like you at all — you’ve never been distracted because of a guy. You wonder what’s so different now. Eren has hugged you multiple times in the past and you even initiate most of them. So, why are you starting to sift through your memories with him and watching them in these pink-hazed 3D glasses? Every smile, every laugh, every eye contact that has you feeling like you’re the only person in the world for him … or just the way he makes your day better just by being there. You remember all the times he was about to storm across the cafeteria upon seeing one of your exes and the anger he embodied when he thinks of the way you’re always hurt.

This is bad — you’re seeing him differently after that hug and impromptu cafe hang-out.

The weight of that realization makes your heart race in a completely new tune, much clearer and melodic than the times you thought you experienced love in one of its forms.

“Mikasa.”

“Hmm?”

You can hear a pan sizzling from the kitchen. You remain looking at the coffee table, right at your phone lighting up with a notification, showing the world your wallpaper. Eren changed it to a picture of you two for fun. He was kissing your cheek, with you captured in a beautiful candid shot. You were laughing at the tickling sensation coming from his lips smiling against your skin. You never changed it. Mikasa chuckled to herself the first time she saw it. You could almost hear her say ‘idiots’ under her breath.

“Am I allowed to feel love again?”

You can sense your roommate turn around. It’s silent until she speaks in a clear voice, “You’re always allowed to feel love, [Nickname].”

“But what if I ruin it?”

Mikasa purses her lips. “You have never ruined anything. You might have small faults in those relationships but if your exes appreciated you just like they claimed, you wouldn’t hurt like this.” You’re still quiet and Mikasa thoughtfully turns back to make you a proper meal while continuing, “It’s okay to be afraid, [Nickname]. Falling in love is always a risk but it’s not good if you prevent it from happening. If that right someone comes, the jump you took to follow your feelings will be worth it in the end. It might cost you more heartbreaks along the way but everything will be amazing when that person is by your side.”

“And if I think I found him?”

The sound of Mikasa’s spatula stops, and the sizzle of the onions, garlic, and other vegetables persists through this pause. You take a peek at your roommate from behind the curtain of your hair, her back rigid and her hand holding the spatula hovering over the pan. “Miki?”

The girl shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I just remembered something,” she hastily tells you before swiveling to face you. Mikasa only displays emotions around certain people and you wish you could laugh at the disbelieving yet confused face she gives you right now. “You found him? And you think he’s the right someone for you?” She makes sure she doesn’t sound that skeptical to not hurt you anymore but she can’t help but feel like she’s been missing out on this recent development in your life. You've been roommates since freshman year and every time you fall in love, Mikasa is a witness to it, but not this one. This is a shock for her.

You nod at her, choosing not to use your voice this time

“Do I know this person?”

Your heart makes a flip in your chest. “Why do you ask?”

She shrugs. “Just checking. You know, to make sure. So, tell me about this lucky guy.”

“He … wears his heart on his sleeve.” A small smile tugs at your lips. “Even though that’s considered a weakness by some people, he manages to come this far by doing that. It’s one of the many things I adore about him.” You laugh a little. “He’s a little reckless most of the time. Oh, and he’s so brazen and sometimes broody, too. Those are some of the reasons why he gets into arguments with our friends. But even with all of that, he’s so attentive. The thing about people who wear their hearts on their sleeves is that they know when someone needs solace. He does that all the time and even without saying anything, my day just gets better with one hug from him.” You gain a blue blanket over yourself. “I just wish that I can give him the affection and care he’s always giving me. I know I’m bad at giving but … I’m willing to try for him.”

You look up and you feel your face heat up when you see Mikasa gawking at you. You watch as her face morphs into a rare smile that reaches her eyes. If you squint, you can see her holding back her squeal.

“And for that, I’m making this even more delicious just for you!”

And before you can call out to her, she’s going back and forth in the kitchen like a madwoman. Bewilderment is an understatement. One will think that Mikasa is the person falling in love inside this apartment and not you. A puff of laughter comes out of your lips, endeared by the sight of your best friend slash roommate being this ecstatic at the possibility of you in a stable and healthy development of feelings. You perch your chin on your propped elbow. Maybe you should hit up her favorite restaurant in the university town as a token of your gratitude, one that stems from three years of bonding.

“Confess to her.”

“Well, good-fucking-morning to you, too, Mikasa.”

It’s six in the morning on a Saturday. Eren deserves a full ten-hour cycle of sleep after that horrifying week he just survived.

“Oh, did I wake you up?”

Eren pulls away his phone from his ear and glares at it, hoping that the girl on the other side of the call picks up on this ominous atmosphere he‘s starting to create. “What do you think?” He spits, particularly snappy at anyone, even the person he grew up with, for disrupting his previously-earned slumber (for once in university, he finally has the chance to enjoy sleep without worrying over deadlines). He internally cries when he feels the last tendrils of drowsiness seep out of his skin and onto the open windows letting in a new dawn. He wants to go back to sleep but with Mikasa’s call, he pitifully kisses that goodbye.

“Sorry.” She doesn’t sound sorry.

“You don’t sound sorry,” Eren grumbles. “Why’d you call?”

A maniacal giggle tickles his ear, sending a shiver of fear down his spine.

“What the fuck—?”

“I have news.”

“Really?” He incredulously exclaims. “At six in the morning? Can’t you wait until like, what, later at noon to tell me? You know it’s my day off right now.”

“It’s about [Name].”

That catches Eren’s attention and he nearly throws himself off the bed.

“What?” He hastily stands up and fumbles to his closet for some decent clothing. “Is she alright? Is she hurt? Where is she right now? Does she need me to pick her up?” Silence is his answer. Eren again looks at his phone before putting it right next to his ear. “Mikasa? You still there?”

“Eren.”

“Yeah?”

“You have to confess to her.”

“What?”

He can feel Mikasa roll her eyes. “It’s just like I said. Confess.”

Eren slowly takes a few steps back until his knees hit the mattress, letting him on the plush mattress. “What brought this on?” It’s not the first time his best friend tells him to pour all his well-kept emotions into you, the reason for his giddy smiles and sweet nights. Just thinking of letting you know of this three-year worth of feelings makes his heart beat faster. What if you reject him? He’s seen you swerve from any romantic advances a person sends your way, he’s seen you cry over assholes who thought it was best to play with you, and he’s seen you content with this relationship you have with him. Eren sighs out a breath tainted with the scent of the yellow tulips and pink camellias sprouting in his ribcage. It’s almost pitiful how heavy his sigh is. “And why are you so sure about this?”

“I know things you don’t.”

He scoffs, running his hand through his hair, the wavy brown strands falling over his collarbone. “Look, Meeks,” the nickname is always there when he’s feeling unsure of himself, “I’ve thought about it, okay? But I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Trust me on this one, Eren. Maybe you can even thank me in the future.”

“Mikasa,” he warns.

“Eren, you have nothing to worry about. She said some things to me last night and I think you have a chance. This will be the time you can finally be with her and this will also be the time she can have someone who’s going to wholeheartedly love her in a way that she should be loved. This is your chance—”

Eren tightly closes his eyes at every word Mikasa spews out. His chest is rapidly going up and down until, “I’m scared.”

“What?”

“I’m scared,” he enunciates as if talking to a pesky sibling (which is how she’s acting right now). “I’m fucking terrified, alright?”

He curses when he feels a stinging in his eyes. He’s not about to cry right now — not when Mikasa is on the other side of the phone. He knows how she is when he cries. Eren remembers that one time he bawled his eyes out when his mother decided it would be nice to keep all his games away for one night because he was acting like a brat. Mikasa sneaked into his parents’ room in the middle of the night and successfully took his game from their closet. Thank God his parents weren’t about to give him a baby sibling that night. Nonetheless, Mikasa’s protective instincts for her friends flare when they cry. She does that with him, Armin, and especially you. You’ve practically replaced Eren as her top priority. So, right now, Eren hopes Mikasa doesn’t hear the wobble in his voice but that’s highly unlikely.

He continues, “[Name] swore off relationships after her last heartbreak during sophomore year. I’m not about to go up to her and tell her ‘Hey, I’ve been crushing on you so so bad since we were freshmen and I know you probably see me as a friend but how about that date? You look lovely by the way’. It’s not that easy, Meeks. I … freeze when those words come up.” And when you look at him with those eyes he dreams about waking up to every morning — curved like crescents with genuine happiness and love for him, Eren’s a goner. You have that effect on him. Time slows and everything dissolves into nothing when you’ve only done one thing, and that’s smiling at him. God, he’s so in love with you that the thorns are starting to sprout with the flowers. “It’s pathetic.”

With the pause on the other side of the call, Eren would think that Mikasa drops it.

“Mikasa?”

“... She’s ready to love again, Eren, and she’s ready to do it with you in the picture.”

A goddess of time, that’s what you are, because, at those words, Eren’s entire world stops.

“I won’t say exactly what she said because that would mean telling on her but,” Eren hears a smile on Mikasa’s voice, “she told me she found the right someone for her and I think, scratch that, I know it’s you, Eren. So, take the risk and confess to her, you idiot.”

“Do you think she’d accept it? My confession?”

“I’m confident that she will.”

The moment Mikasa hangs up to cook you some breakfast, Eren is already out the door.

You’re in the process of placing things in your school bag for your study session in the nearest library when the doorbell rings.

Mikasa is in the kitchen cooking up a storm, something about giving you a bento box for your grueling revisions so that you won’t have to spend a couple of dollars for a cafeteria ticket, so you’re the one closest to the front door. You leave your bag and belongings on the couch, thinking that maybe Sasha wants to join you and Mikasa for some early breakfast. But then, the girl wakes up in the middle of the day during weekends. You now wonder who’s incessantly pressing the doorbell like they’re a kid in the Halloween season begging for the owner of the house for some free candy that they will neglect after a day. You refrain from grumbling out profanities and quickly open the door without a word. The irritated cloud hanging over your head clears at the sight in front of you. It’s replaced with warmth and a soft tune emanating from your chest.

Eren looks like he’s run a marathon, hands on his knees and hunching on his back to catch his breath.

“Eren, what are you doing here?” You ask him, looking back over your shoulder to check on Mikasa. You turn back to him once you see her preoccupied with cooking. “Come in. I’ll get you some water.”

“No,” he straightens his posture, “I’m alright.” He takes a couple of deep breaths, almost like he’s trying to gather courage. You never take your eyes off him. You’ve seen him with unbound hair; but seeing it after admitting to yourself that you’re having feelings for him, it’s not exactly kind to your heart. The glow of the early sun illuminating the window at the end of the hallway creates this illusion of a halo around his head. With the smile on his face, the one that crinkles the corners of his eyes and lets his little dimple peek through, you can’t help but think that he’s here to conduct this song beating inside your chest. You only blink when he sheepishly scratches his nape and says, “Can you come out here for a sec?”

You’re about to peek at Mikasa when he adds, “Please?”

His eyes flicker behind you but he tenderly wraps his hand around your wrist before you can even turn your head and pulls you out of the doorway.

“Eren, what is this about—?”

“I’m in love with you.”

Your heart is beating a song and each note is about Eren Jaeger.

“And I have for quite some time. Since freshman year exactly. I’m so fucking in love with you that you’re the first thought I have in the morning and the memory I replay in my mind to sleep at night. You consume me, [Name], and God, I don’t know what I’d do if you start searching for love again. I don’t want you to find the one you’re looking for in someone that’s not me. Call me selfish but I decided that I'd gladly be that just to tell you my feelings. I don’t want to make a regret that will haunt me my whole life onward so, here I am, telling you how much I love you and I don’t want you with somebody else.” He’s breathing heavily again. “Woo, that feels so good to let out,” Eren murmurs under his breath, his head tilted back to blink away any sheen of tears.

Now that he’s said his piece, it’s your turn.

You can’t comprehend looking for any shed of love since you started university when it’s right in front of you — holding your hand when you cross the street, attentively listening to you as you ramble about your newest hyper fixation of the week, hugging you in the middle of the hallway when you have a bad day, kissing the scars you’re unaware of having, giving you the love and appreciation you deserve above all else … love has always been in the form of Eren, one of your best friends. You regret never seeing it come to light sooner. You place the palm of your hand over your trembling mouth. His expression wilts when he sees your teary state. They finally trickle down your cheeks as his large hands cup your face in a hold that says you’re more fragile than a lone bubble drifting in the air.

“Hey,” Eren breathes, his head ducking to meet your eyes. “Don’t cry. It pains me to see you cry.”

“But you—”

“It’s the truth. But if you feel like it’s making you sad, I’m taking it back.”

“No!” You cover his hands with yours. He blinks in surprise. “I’m just so happy, Eren.” You let out a watery laugh in between his palms.

Eren feels his breath taken away. “What?”

You nod with a large smile. “I’m happy you said those words. I,” you choke up; you haven’t received this intense of a confession in your lifetime, “because I—” he looks so expectant that a little laugh bubbles in your throat. You lean into his touch and beam the most radiant smile you ever give someone, “I’m starting to fall in love with you.” At his stunned silence, you continue. “And I’m sorry for being so late at reciprocating, but don’t worry because I’m saying it back now, Ren.”

Eren explodes, “Fuck yes!”

And then, he hugs you close, letting you hear the tumultuous beat his heart is telling you. His laughter beckons yours to bubble from your chest, molding together harmoniously as the sun fully waves her greeting to the world. He blankets you in one of his embraces, but this time, he’s taking this chance to pull you closer than usual. Eren is this happy to know you are accepting his confession and returning his feelings, how much more if you’re going to build a slow romantic relationship with him? You’re not going to lie, the thought of you and him being each other’s partners spurs spring to grow inside your chest. You place your forehead on his chest for a moment, only pulling away when he once again cups your face in his palms. The melodic laughter coming from you sings its notes with every kiss Eren gently presses on every inch of skin his lips can find. Your forehead, temples, cheeks, eyelids, nose, the corners of your mouth — and all of them tickle each butterfly tingling your stomach.

He only pauses when he’s in front of your lips. You open your eyes to find Eren staring at you with the immutable essence of love within his limbal rings. His pupils cover the majority of his iris until only a tiny ring of emerald peeks through. Your reflection is clear enough to see your wide-eyed expression. You expect him to kiss you breathlessly, erasing every thought in your brain so early in the morning, but instead, he nuzzles his nose against yours, all the while maintaining eye contact.

“We’ll take this slow, okay?” Eren whispers only for you to hear, not even the potted plant idly sitting by your apartment’s door can listen in. “I know you’re tentative but I’m willing to be patient. I will wait for you no matter how long it takes like I’ve waited three years for you to finally see me differently. And you don’t have to worry because, sunshine, I’m always here to catch you, to care for you, to love you with everything I have. So, are you willing to give me a chance?”

You hum, wrapping your arms around his neck. You nod, “Yeah. If it’s you, I’m ready to give romance a chance again, pretty boy.”

His grin can make a thousand moons shine.

“We have nothing to lose.”

“Yeah.”

“I finally have you with me.”

“I’m now with you, Ren.”

“God, sunshine, I’m so in love with you.”

"And I'm falling for you, pretty boy."

#— rory's passages 🌼#— serotonin boost 💐#eren attack on titan #eren x reader #eren x you #aot x reader #attack on titan eren #attack on titan x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger #eren aot #attack on titan imagines #snk x reader #shingeki no kyojin #eren x y/n

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desertfangs · 4 months

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I just wanted to say to that Anon: nobody was being sassy with you. I hate how much Marius and Armand fans are denigrated on this site.

I'm sorry, anon! I know how that feels and I want you to know that I did not intend to denigrate or invalidate Marius/Armand fans. I apologize if I did.

I am on your side! I think they're fascinating and while they're not one of my main ships, I always enjoy reading the fics people write about them and trying to figure out how they fit together in various eras. I want them to work out their shit and have all of the kisses and cuddles they deserve.

About ten years ago, the last time I was in this fandom before I left for a while, Armand and Daniel were Le Problematic Ship Du Jour on this site, where there was constant discourse and shitposting about how toxic and awful they were and how if you shipped it, you were terrible and also wrong, because look at Daniel with Marius in Prince Lestat! They are together so Armand and Daniel can't possibly ever have anything again 🙄🙄🙄 It felt like you had to constantly defend yourself if you posted or wrote about them, and it was exhausting.

Now I see that same shit going on with Marius and Marius/Armand. It's fine to not like a character or a ship, but people get Weird about it, and decide that their dislike is Moral and Righteous. Or that canon or Anne has blessed their ship somehow, which is equally silly. Back then people would harass Anne on Facebook trying to get her to say which ships were canon or whatever, as if they are not very clearly all canon on the page.

I will never believe that Daniel and Armand reconnecting means Armand and Marius can't do the same (or that Daniel and Marius aren't going to still have a deep relationship, for that matter.) Ditto Armand and Louis, etc. etc. down the line.

Ships are not a zero sum game, especially in this fandom. You don't have to like a ship. Sometimes they just don't give you that warm fuzzy feeling. But none of these ships are mutually exclusive either. Armand can lay on the couch playing with Lestat's hair and still appreciate Daniel as he walks out the door. There's enough love to go around.

Okay, sorry, wow, I don't know why anyone sends me asks when they all lead to tangents. 😂 Point is, I feel your pain, anon, and I wasn't trying to join in on that kind of nonsense, so I hope it didn't seem that way and I don't think you were be sassy with me, either. I understand your frustration! I'm sorry fandom tends to do this stuff!

#vc fandom #armand/marius #marius de romanus #armand/daniel #shipping and discourse #vc #vampire chronicles #the vampire chronicles #oh no this is close to discourse #is this discourse #i don't know y'all i'm just tired okay #answers in the desert #anonymous #thank you for the message anon i do appreciate you!!

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daxieoclock · 6 months

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Tactica Impressions Part 5, No Spoilers

I finished the DLC. It is stupidly good. Day 1 DLC is never not going to suck on the consumer end, and the fact this game costs like. 90 bucks to get the full experience? horseshit. that being said, if you could buy Repaint Your Heart on its own for 20 bucks, I'd say you owe it to yourself.

Minus a few bits of potentially upsetting content and the metatext of "everything here will be basically non-canonized by the end" (and issues of sound mixing endemic to the base game and Strikers), it is one of the strongest pieces of media Atlus has ever released, and does insane justice to two fan-favorite Thieves who have needed that since Royal. The fact that it's relegated to Day 1 DLC is a fucking travesty.

In one scene, Kasumi discusses her grief over losing her sister. Kasumi discusses her grief. For the first time since her character was introduced and then rectonned out of existence in Royal, Kasumi gets to articulate how she feels about losing her sister. It's the best take of the character I've ever seen outside of me and @lilyhoshikawa's assorted writings (but @superrabbittank still has the best written Sumire to date, no question).

Speaking of, I can and will be referencing both Erina and Guernica in Deja Vu at some future point. Maybe not main fic, but I need to write these two. Possibly at the same time. Cool girl rights.

Guernica is just generally one of the strongest written characters in a Persona game? Which is hilarious to say considering she only has a few hours of screen time, but she's a fantastic sympathetic foil to the Thieves, AND an imposing and threatening antagonist, with a fully realized arc. I know she's relegated to the same terminal one-game status as Sophia, Hikari and Zen, but I do hope we see more of her in the future SOMEHOW. At the very least, add her to P5X when that eventually comes out. Ditto with Erina.

...

Back to main campaign.

Haru of course is so wonderful to see, but Ryuji is genuinely charming in every interaction too. He's such a sweetheart, and his :D face makes me grin every time I see him. Sunshine boy real.

Toshiro had a cool moment. He still sucks. Despite this one thing, that I thought was cool, he still sucks.

Erina managing to walk off a legitimately life-threatening injury while Toshiro throws a fit over a graze. Not surprising, but g-d he's such a piss baby.

Ann smiling while she threatened Toshiro made me holler, I'm so fucking here for it. AND IT WAS ABOUT HIM LYING TOO, like, that's Ann's number one thing whenever I interpret her, and here canon is proving me right! We love to see it!

This picture of Futaba.

Haru (and Ann) Close Read Lines: 7

#persona 5 tactica

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sparklyslug · 8 months

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Ohohoho im SO excited for your bb fic! Would love to see more if youre still doing wip -day

YESSSSSSS ABSOLUTELY every day is wipday if you believe in yourself

“That’s good to know,” Steve says. “Especially since, you know. Dustin’s got that big decision to make. Might change some things.”

Suzie doesn’t say anything. But he can almost picture that birdlike look on her face, the little tilt of her head. Maybe the way she purses her lips when she wants you to get to the point, a face that Steve seems to be on the receiving end on more than anyone else.

“We haven’t actually talked about it, you and me,” Steve says. “What you, you know. Think about it. The whole offer.”

“And I’m interested in knowing what you think about it, too,” she says evenly. “I have an idea from Dustin, but I’d rather hear it from you.”

“Ditto,” Steve says. And the idea comes together, in as much time as it takes to wrap the store’s phone cord around one finger. “I can’t talk about it here obviously, but maybe– in person?”

“Like, come to Chicago?” Suzie asks, though she doesn’t sound all that surprised by the idea.

“Yeah,” he says, on firm ground now. The imagined sound of horns or trumpets or whatever at his back. “This is big, what’s happening here. I think we need to all talk about it together. As a team.”

“Talk about it,” Suzie says slowly. “Or talk Dustin out of it?”

Steve takes a deep breath. His finely honed Talking to Women sixth sense is blaring at him to tread very carefully. “I’d never tell you what to do, or what to tell him,” he says. “Like I said, I don’t even know how you feel about it. But I think we should all talk it out. Get on the same page.”

“Yeah, I’m guessing there hasn’t been a lot of that going on over there,” she says dryly, and Steve gives himself a quiet little fist pump of triumph at having apparently given up some kind of right answer. “Much as I hate to be the one who has to come in and clean up your emotional communication hangups, I do happen to agree with you– this is something we should all talk about, together. I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

“Okay,” Steve says, grinning. “Okay, great. I’ll let Dustin know, and–”

“Steve,” she cuts him off. “I mean it. I haven’t decided yet, how I feel about this whole thing. What I think it could mean for us. For all of us– Dustin, you, and for me. That’s part of why I want to come. I need some clarity. And once I get it, you might not like it.”

“I trust you, Suzie,” Steve says. “You’re our eye in the sky, sweetheart. You always know what’s what, and what to do about it.”

“I’m just keeping an open mind,” Suzie says. Trying for stern, but he can hear the smile in her voice. “And Steve– I really think you should try and do the same. I know it’s hard, and– and how it happened, with Eddie and everything. I get reacting the way you have.”

“What way I have?” Steve asks, suddenly a little annoyed.

“But just try and keep an open mind, is all I’m saying,” she says smoothly. “Until I can come and knock both of your heads together, get some sense into them.”

“Okay,” Steve says, a little uneasily. Not sure if this cavalry call is going exactly the way he had hoped it would.

“Okay,” she says firmly. “I’ll give you a call from the road, let you know when I’m getting in.”

“Sounds good, thanks Suzie,” Steve says, and they hang up.

Frowning a little, he turns away from the phone. To find two teenagers looking at him with open curiosity.

“Did that have something to do with Eddie?” Lilith asks.

Fidel looks sharply at her. “Who’s Eddie?” he asks, a little suspicious.

“PB’s friend,” Lilith says, tucking her long black hair behind one ear. “Cool, super hot, dressed all in black. Probably unavailable,” she finishes with a sigh.

“Unavailable?” Steve asks, deciding to leave super hot alone. Fidel fidgets with the hem of his beloved Bulls jersey.

Lilith sees the motion and probably leaps immediately to the right conclusion, because teenaged girls are evil and powerful. “Probably unavailable to me,” she amends, smiling a little bit as Fidel catches her eye, and abruptly stops messing with his shirt, turning to walk back to the other end of the shop.

“Well yes,” Steve says nastily. “He is, since you’re an infant.”

Lilith scowls at him. “Technically, I’m your manager.”

“Technically, you need my help to reach above the third shelf,” Steve shoots back.

Lilith’s scowl turns murderous, and she whirls towards the record player. Whips the needle off the Eve 6, and rummages under the player for an album. “My turn,” she says. “We’ve listened to enough of your boring, basic Peanut Butter bullshit today.”

Suddenly assaulted by the Smashing Pumpkins, and a sharp uptick in the degree of teen angst surrounding him on all sides, Steve’s headache reasserts itself with a vengeance. And he is, abruptly, so tired of everyone in his life being so fucking stupid.

Himself included.

#steddie bang #my fic #wrote this last night and it’s a first pass so 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#but the people need to see Steve get lightly bullied by some teens I think

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youhideastar · 1 year

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You mentioned in your deleted scenes from Tender that the original conceit was longer; that made me curious about part of your writing process! Do you mind sharing if it feels, for you, like that's what "happens next"? or whether the rewrite leaves the future of the story more amorphous? Ditto for something like Concord, where you come to a place of resolution but we know there's more to do--do you know how it continues, or do you feel like your knowledge "stops" where the story does?

That is a great question! It really depends on the story. For shorter pieces, I often have no thoughts about what happens next, beyond perhaps a vague "things don't go to shit as badly as they do in canon." Most of the 5 Things That Didn't Happen in Xuanwu Cave fics are like that, for example.

For longer fics, yes, I usually have some "headcanon" about where things go from there, and I still think of that as what "happens next" even if I choose to stop telling the story at an earlier point. That's true of both Tender and Concord, for example (although note that they're not always the same as the original concept I started with - my headcanon for what happens after Tender is over is now a fix-it, but the original concept included WWX dying and then returning just like in canon!). Sometimes those headcanons turn into sequels (the They Say Love Heals All Wounds series is probably the best example of this, or, perhaps, an example of how it gets out of hand 😂, as is the HGJ Says YOLO series, for an example from The Untamed fandom), and sometimes they just remain in my head.

I hope that answers your question! Thank you for asking, this is fun stuff to think and talk about. ❤️

#asks #fic asks #my writing

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revoevokukil · 1 year

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Heyy I hope you are better now! Here are some "asks" for you ❤️ 1. Games with Eternity, I just love the fairytale character of this story! 2. Eredin chapter of course... But I also love the first chapter for its lush introduction and references to celtic mythology and Shakespeare. 6. That must be the scene of the lonely human girl in the steppe with the northern lights and the wild hunt appearing in them. It's so different from their appearance in the Witcher Canon, with the addition of beauty to terror. As I've said before, I love your evocative writing overall 💖 10. Gotta be Larallac'h! Their dynamic is intense and you fleshed out Lara's character so well. She's a powerful sorceress trapped in the expectations of her people, and between her own love for Ava and her wish for independence! So good!!! 12. That's the threesome fic with Lara, Avallac'h and Eredin. Lara's so badass in that one. And hot at the same time hehhe

Hey! Thanks! I am gradually getting over the bug :)

On Eredin - let's just say after having thought about his character based on books alone at length, I love him much-much more than I did in the past. So much so constructing him (as Lara) has really caught my interest.

I am really delighted to hear the steppe scene stuck out. It's one of my own favourite "pictures" from the story. I hope though that I learn to pace & be evocative at the same time at some point.

Ditto on Lara/Avallac'h. I thought my rare-pairs were Ciri-centric at the start, but no. (Ava/Ciri is not really a rare pair anymore.) I really love Lara/Crevan. Everything starts there, both in regard to his character & in regard to the Saga's underbelly. And in regard to his relationship with Ciri. I will also never stop seeing Avallac'h's & Lara's relationship as much more complicated than an unconsummated unrequited love. There is just too much humanly relatable, painful, and beautiful there, and his feelings centuries later are much too intense. Anyway, I desist; after all I have written about it, and I am delighted I managed to make you consider it.

But wow, I did not expect that cursed threesome to be a fave 😅

Thank you! 💛

#asks #writing #the witcher #avallac'h #lara dorren #eredin breacc glas #aen elle

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minkkumaz · 8 months

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favorite anon,, hehe. ur my fav writer!! im so happy i discovered ur fics,, interactions with you are always so sweet!!

but

YOUR OT6 MASTERLIST. I GASPED ONCE I SAW IT. twirling + swinging my feet. this feeling reminds me of waiting for the bonedo comeback.

first of all, CUPID SUNGHO. CUPID SUNGHO ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ firm believer cupid sungho wears glasses just because!!! before shooting his shots he definitely pushes up his glasses to get a precise shot.

medusa reader and human riwoo has me tearing up. the amount of angst that could be made up will BREAK me. like what if reader just wants to watch riwoo dance and perform but they cant get too close because they dont want to make riwoo loose his bright future ☹️☹️☹️

ZOMBIE READER? me and jaehyun could be zombies together 🤞🤞 stop but what if jaehyun was a scientist who could really help out the reader.. or like jaehyun and the reader were childhood friends when a zombie apocalypse appeared and watching his best friend get turned into a zombie made him dedicate his life and future to turning them back.. scientist/researcher jaehyun 💭 (i just wanna see jaehyun in a labcoat tbh)

VAMPIRE TAESAN HAD ME JUMPING UP AND DOWNNNNN. hes literally THE vampire ever. i 100% love the mysterious, weirdo social outcast taesan who’s secretly a vampire… (thinking abt how the reader could be a total geek and nerd when it comes to supernaturals)

PFKFKKDKD MERMAID LEEHAN. leehan and his fish pals :)))) LMAO but like ur so true leehan is legit the 🧜‍♂️ emoji. I CANT STOP THINKING ABT HOW BEAUTIFUL HE’D BE UNDER WATER LIKE IK HIS HAIR IS GONNA BE FLOWEINNGG. (plottwist, leehans a siren and ends our life </3)(its okay cause its leehan)

BUT OUT OF ALL IM SO SO SO EXCITED FOR ALIEN READER AND WOONHAK!! ACK i keep thinking about how Woonhaks a regular highschool student, and his new alien friend helps him study at night using their antennas as a nightlight HAHA. imagine the two just tucked under a blanket reading a book together with the light source as the antenna.

im seriously so excited for all of them it really feels like a bonedo comeback LMAO. the things i wrote were just little ideas. im definitely excited for anything you’re gonna be putting out!!

-🍉

ditto! interacting with you has been my fav i love hearing your opinions on my works and stuff you're so sweet :,< i'm so glad you're excited for my series omg i feel honored that i'm on the same level as waiting for a bonedo comeback ><

i giggled so hard when you said sungho adjusts his glasses to look at his shot LOLL that thought is so funny to me bc hes so majestic but the idea of that is so nerdy HAHSKHSB

trust me.. riwoo's will have a lot of angst. THAT IS ALL I WILL ELABORATE ONE! shoutout to woonhakist aka my bae for the medusa and cupid idea :3

zombie reader w human jaehyun was probably one of my smartest ideas like i literally have the plot on lockdown and i'm expecting tears from everyone that reads it because i'm having trouble properly breathing at the mere idea of it. LET ME COOK!!!!

i'm gonna base vampire taesan off of a kdrama i watched! NOT PINPOINT ACCURATE TO THE PLOT BUT THE IDEA!! not saying which one quite yet, but i'll probably namedrop in the a/n portion once i actually publish it :) if you know which drama im talking about when you see it, you might have an idea of what the ending will be so i kinda hope people don't know ^^;

and no fr literally this whole series wouldnt exist if i didnt start working on mermaid leehan like a month ago. i was thinking about it.. then i wrote it.. and im like halfway done and the wordcount is literally sickening its so long.. but i can confirm that leehan is described very beautifully bc hes just THAT majestic. got me hyperventilating n shit. (i will not confirm nor deny your plot twist) (anything that happens is okay bc its leehan)

I AM ALSO SO SOSOSOSO EXCITED FOR ALIEN READER AND WOONHAK I'M BASING IT OFF OF 'I DO'!! so honestly most of what you're thinking about is pretty accurate (i might steal that antenna nightlight idea thats actually so cute and so smart wtf) (with credits to my sweet melon anon)

i'm even more inspired to write this now hehe you gave me motivation!!! get your tissue boxes ready for october because HINT!! they will all be very angsty :3

#∞ ₒ ˚ omi's chats #༊*·˚ anonymous peoples #🍉 anon ·˚ ༘ ✎

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sixzeroes · 10 months

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JAEMIN ON EUNCHAE’S STAR DIARY???? getting content for my uncle jaemin & niece eunchae agenda 😋😋😋😋

#nabitxt #series: no celestial #fic: ditto (hope you feel the same)

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cuquitalocita · 3 years

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a new addition- rowaelin

AN: okay, a bunch of you guys asked for a part two to this fic so here it is! it’s longer than i meant for it to be and it’s not my favorite but i hope you guys like it- by the way the name eliora is not mine originally- i can’t remember who used it but it was not me so feel free to tag people if you know :)

part one

“And then what?” Her voice was eager.

Aelin shrugged, her lips tilting up into a small smile as she gazed at the green eyes across from her. “Then he kissed me.” Being completely honest, Aelin could remember the kiss as if it was yesterday. Could still feel his hard body pressed against hers and the fading taste of alcohol on his lips.

“Bullshit,” a voice scoffed from behind her. Aelin whirled to face the matching turquoise eyes and she arched a brow, causing him to visibly swallow.

“Excuse you? As far as I recall, I don’t remember you being there.”

Her son shook his head, plopping down on the open area of the couch beside her and taking her feet into his lap. “I didn’t need to be,” he shrugged. “You and Dad tell the story often enough. Everyone knows that you-”

He was cut off as Eliora’s hand slapped over his mouth. “No spoiling, Sammy! I wanna hear the story!” Aelin laughed at her six-year-old and pulled her onto her lap, kissing her cheek as she did so. She gazed at Eliora for a moment; she truly was a beautiful child, even if Aelin was a little bias.

“That’s right, Eliora,” Aelin grinned at her daughter. “And what did we say about spoiling?”

“Don’t do it,” she replied definitively with a firm shake of her head. Aelin couldn’t help but squeeze Eliora a bit tighter as she opened her mouth to continue the story. Her mouth closed as another body entered the living room.

“What are we doing?” Nehemia asked, coming to sit by her twin on the couch. Shoulder to shoulder, Aelin’s eyes stared back at her. Sam rolled his eyes.

“Mama’s telling me a love story,” Eliora gushed to her sister, her green eyes alight with childlike excitement. “The greatest of all time!”

Nehemia gazed at Eliora with pure love, even as she leaned over to whisper something in her brother’s ear. Aelin was just able to hear, “She’s telling it again, huh?”

“I told you we should have gone to Aunt Lys’s house,” was her son’s muttered response. Nehemia snorted, leaning back over the couch until she was eye to eye with Eliora.

“Greatest of all time, huh? Must be a good one.” Her eyes twinkled with a mischievous glint Aelin could only credit to herself.

“It is,” Aelin finally cut in. “And if you would stop interrupting, I would be able to finish it.”

The sixteen year-olds rolled their eyes, gazing at one another in a silent language only they could understand. But Aelin didn’t need to hear their dialogue to understand that they had heard the story enough times. But Aelin couldn’t help it. She just loved telling it. Gazing at the sparkling emerald on her finger, Aelin didn’t think she would ever get sick of telling it.

“So, as I was saying.” She bounced Eliora playfully in her lap until she giggled. “He kissed me and-”

“Aelin Galathynius Whitethorn, you better not be telling my daughter that I kissed you at that party!” Aelin had been so absorbed in her kids that she had barely registered her hulking husband walking into the room. He stood at the door, arms crossed in front of his body as he glared at her, emerald eyes meeting turquoise in a clash of passion. Rowan was still in his work clothes, clearly having just arrived, and Aelin was really trying not to drool at how good he looked with his hair ruffled and his tie undone around his neck.

She threw up her hands with an exasperated sigh.

“Gods, what does a girl have to do to finish a story around here?”

The floor of their living room creaked as Rowan came to sit beside Aelin and Sam on the couch, his gaze never leaving hers. Rowan leaned forward, catching Aelin’s lips with his for a quick kiss before settling back down on the couch. Nehemia immediately rested her head on her father’s shoulder and was rewarded with a warm kiss to the top of her head.

Aelin gazed at them with fondness, love filling her heart. Until her husband’s gaze locked with her own once more, and Aelin smirked.

“You cannot keep telling people that,” Rowan shook his head before turning to their youngest, taking her from Aelin’s lap and shooting his wife an exasperated look. “Eliora, do you remember what Mama and I told you about lying?”

From across from her, Aelin watched Sam snort. He swallowed as his gaze met hers, smile dropping.

Eliora’s tiny eyebrows scrunched up at the top of her head, the look identical to one Aelin constantly saw on Rowan’s face. Finally, she shook her head, gazing up at her father. “It’s… wrong?”

“That’s right,” Rowan smiled down at her. “And we don’t do it. Even if Mama does.” He looked at the gape on his wife’s face before looking down at their daughter once more. “Especially if Mama does.” Aelin stuck her tongue out to her husband, who finally cracked a smile at her. This one sent warmth all the way down to her toes.

“Does this mean Mama can’t finish the story?” Eliora asked, her voice turning sad as she gazed between her family. Rowan laughed, bouncing her up and down before looking at the twins and back at Aelin, an unmistakable look of triumph in his eyes.

“Oh, no no no,” he replied, grinning. “Daddy’s here now. And I’m gonna tell you what really happened. I didn’t want to be at that party, to begin with...”

Aelin didn’t need him to, even if their kids did. She remembered everything about that night. Everything about the days and weeks following she didn’t think she would ever forget them until the day she died. It wasn’t every day you kissed the love of your life at a shitty fraternity rager.

Rowan sat in the kitchen nursing his long since warmed beer. Shitty rap music blared through the speakers around him and it was then that he decided he was better off going back to his dorms before he did something he would regret.

It had been an hour since the kiss. An hour until he had finally gotten to understand what the hype of kissing Aelin Galathynius was. She was a lot of things- but a bad kisser wasn’t one of them. Rowan had sworn to every god imaginable he could handle a kiss with the infuriating blonde. It was just a kiss, right? Just a game.

But her lips had touched his and Rowan knew something was very very different. He hadn’t been able to get the smell of lemon and verbatim out of his senses for the past hour and it was unlikely that he would stop imagining the kiss any time soon.

But it was just a kiss. He didn’t like Aelin Galathynius.

She was annoying, and loud, obnoxious, and rude, and she lived to annoy him.

So why couldn’t he stop thinking of her? Even before the party, after their failed project, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about those damn turquoise eyes.

It wasn’t that he hated everything about her. No- he had noticed the kind voice she would take when talking to Lysandra’s little sister. And he would be a fool not to notice the special smile that lit up her face when she would play with her dog or talk about literature. No, he didn’t hate her. But whatever he did feel was proving to be extremely problematic. Because there was no way she felt the same way.

Yes- it was definitely time to go home.

Making his way out from behind the kitchen counter, Rowan made to leave the kitchen just as the door went flying open. The sound of laughter rang through the door and Rowan stared at the exact person he was hoping to be done with for the night.

“Not likely, Moonbeam,” she was saying with a shake of her head, even though a spark glimmered in her blue eyes. Rowan had to consciously check himself from staring for too long as Aelin realized who was standing in front of her.

Her hand flew to her chest with wide eyes. “Jesus, Rowan, you scared me!”

Rowan thought it was the first time she had ever said his name. He quite liked the sound of it from her lips.

He was staring again. Full-blown staring at the woman in front of him as he contemplated what to say or do. He was coming up blank. Every thought in his mind seemed to be screaming at him at once. Some saying to run- to flee and never come into contact with her again, others saying to grab her and kiss her. All of them agreed she looked breathtaking in front of him. Like a golden angle.

“Ditto, Galathynius,” he managed out, earning a frown from Aelin. The action brought his gaze to her lips and he quickly looked away. Aelin seemed to have changed as well. Gone was the snarky woman who had spilled her beer all over him, replaced with a beautiful woman who he might’ve been friends with in another life.

“Hey, can we-”

“You know you may want to switch to a different conditioner,” he cut her off, saying the first thing he could think of to leave the conversation. “Your hair’s a little dry.”

Aelin gaped at him, her once lidded eyes turning cold and hard as she scoffed, shoving past him further into the kitchen. “Charming as ever, Whitethorn,” she sniped. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Eliora clapped from her place on her father’s lap.

“It was true love’s kiss!” she cried, earning a laugh from her siblings and parents. It had definitely been something, that was for sure.

“I don’t know…” Aelin mused. “I thought true love’s kiss was reserved for princes, the bravest of them all.” Eliora frowned, as did the twins as their gazes switched to their father.

“I am brave!” Rowan squawked, eyes narrowing. “What are you talking about, Aelin?”

“Why, my dear husband,” Aelin placed her hand on her chest, pretending to be affronted. “It seems you’ve forgotten what happened afterward.” Realization dawned on Rowan’s face before retreating back into a frown. He seemed to hold Eliora tighter as he glared at his wife.

“I haven’t forgotten anything,” he muttered, voice low.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sam interrupted his parents from his side of the couch. “What do you mean what happened afterward?” This was a part of the story that neither one of their teenagers had heard before. Whether they were too young to understand it, or it had never come up, the twins were now fully invested in the story.

“Yeah,” Nehemia joined in. “You guys got together after the kiss at the party. That was it, right?” At their parents’ silence, the twins looked at each other before bolting upright in their seats.

“Right?” they asked in unison.

Rowan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. It seemed it was time for a sequel to their family tale.

Rowan was sure there should be a ditch where his feet had paced through the grass in front of Aelin’s dorm. Cursing to whatever gods there were, Rowan forced his feet to stop moving. How was he supposed to apologize to Aelin if he couldn’t even stop pacing from the nervousness of just thinking about it?

It hadn’t taken long after Rowan had left the party for him to realize what an idiotic prick he had been. He had been tempted to drive over to her dorm right then and there and grovel for her forgiveness. But ultimately he had decided against it, choosing instead in favor of avoiding a hangover.

But he was sober now, and an apology was necessary. More than necessary.

He had apologized to people before. He had begged his professors for extensions and apologized after a falling out with an old friend. But he had never planned on asking out any of the people he had been apologizing to. Two days and Rowan had refused to talk about the kiss with anyone. To be honest, he had tried to forget about it himself.

But it seemed it was destined to never leave his mind for the rest of his existence. And as he played the kiss back in his mind, he couldn’t say he minded it. It had been a rude awakening to realize he may have had feelings for Aelin Galathynius. To go from loathing the girl in his chemistry class to suddenly picturing her face everywhere was a big change, and Rowan didn’t know what to do about it.

Rowan wasn’t stupid. Aelin Galathynius was a beautiful person. Gorgeous looks aside, the woman had a pure heart of fire and gold. Of course, he had noticed this in sullen silence, but that wasn’t the point. He could acknowledge her wicked intelligence and her need to fight for something that was important to her. And he knew that she loved unconditionally.

Whether he liked it or not, he had kissed Aelin back, and that had been all him.

He wanted to do it again.

“Fleetfoot, slow down! Hang on a second Lys- Fleetfoot, no!” Rowan whipped around as he heard Aelin’s voice come from behind him. Sure enough, the golden beauty walked along the sidewalk to her dorm, dog leash in hand.

She was dressed in a university sweatshirt and leggings that showed off the curve of her legs, so much so that Rowan was forced to look away. Her phone was between her ear and shoulder as she spoke with who Rowan assumed to be Lysandra. He held back a smile as the massive golden retriever yanked her along the road, apparently following a particularly interesting squirrel.

“I’m telling you, Lys,” she was saying as she came closer, clearly still not seeing him. “It’s not li-” Her feet came to a sudden stop and Rowan’s head snapped up to see her gaze was already on his, eyes wide. Aelin opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Rowan couldn’t find he had anything to say either. Her golden hair ran down her back and Rowan found himself fighting the urge to twirl a strand of it around his finger. She really was breathtaking.

“Lys, I’ll call you back,” she said, eyes not leaving his as she took the phone from her shoulder and ended the call. “Rowan? What are you doing here?”

It was his turn to struggle for words. How would he even bring it up? A week ago the two were on nothing more than insulting terms. She had infuriated him- had tried every nerve in his body and every bit of anger he had. But now…

Aelin’s brows were raised in anticipation. Are you going to answer?

Rowan coughed, finally thrown out of his reverie. Who was he kidding? Aelin didn’t want to go on a date with him? Aelin didn’t want to go anywhere with him. And he couldn’t blame her. Rowan had been nothing but a prick to her since the moment they had met, and it was truly coming back to bite him in the ass.

“Uh, Aedion told me he left something in Lys’s room.” The lie rolled off of his tongue easily enough, yet he hoped Aelin would be able to see through it. It seemed that she didn’t.

“Oh,” she said, understanding and almost shame clouding her words. “Right. What is it? Do you wanna come inside to find it?” Aelin’s dog sat obediently at her heels, looking between the two college kids in silent wonder.

Yeah, dude, Rowan wanted to say. I don’ know what’s happening either.

“No,” he shook his head. “It’s Aedion’s problem. I just thought I could find it before class started but I think it’s too late. He’ll come around later for it.”

“Right,” Aelin said doubtfully, crossing her arms in front of her body and looking at him.

“Right,” Rowan repeated back to her, causing Aelin to raise another brow. He wanted to push it back down. “Well, I’m gonna go- get to… class. So- bye Aelin.” He was gone before she could say anything else, giving her his back and practically sprinting back toward his side of campus.

Rowan Whitethorn was an idiot. He knew it. But one look from Aelin and the cold fear that had rushed through his body had him wanting to curl up into a ball and never speak to her again. But he had to. Rowan would have to talk to her again if he was going to find out who was truly behind those stunning blue eyes.

But even at the thought of speaking to her again-

“Hold on, hold on, I know where this is going,” Nehemia interrupted her father before he could continue his sentence. “You avoided her didn’t you?” As Rowan’s cheeks flamed, Sam sat upright in his seat, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“No way. You avoided her?” Aelin cackled as Rowan grumbled something under his breath, earning herself another glare. Nonetheless, Aelin tucked herself under her husband’s arm, reaching up to plant a kiss on his cheek. He seemed to soften at the touch, green eyes meeting hers in a look so full of love Aelin thought she might explode.

“Well, what is it, old man?” Sam prompted. Rowan scowled at his son and daughter, both of who looked ready to pass out from restrained laughter.

“Only for a couple of weeks,” he muttered lowly.

“A COUPLE OF WEEKS?” Sam exploded, his laughter finally ringing out through the house as he fell back into the couch, holding his stomach. Nehemia glared at her brother and poked him in the stomach. It didn’t seem to matter as Sam sat up, still grinning. “And you call me a coward for not asking Asterin Havilliard out.”

“You are a coward for not asking Asterin Havilliard out,” Rowan shook his head, running a hand down his face. Nehemia nodded, offering her father a high five which he quickly returned. She was such a daddy’s girl.

“It’s true honey,” Aelin cut in, even as her son glared at her. “Dorian knows she likes you.”

“The world knows she likes him,” Nehemia said, exasperated. “Now get back to the story. Mom,” she turned to Aelin. “Did you know Dad was lying about having places to be?”

Aelin snorted, running her hand through the hair at the nape of Rowan’s neck which seemed to be even redder than it had been moments before. “Of course I did. His excuse was that he had to go to class. It was Sunday.”

It was Nehemia’s turn to crackle now and Rowan looked downright offended. It wasn’t often that his oldest daughter wasn’t on his side. Aelin leaned into Rowan’s shoulder, delight running through her body as he placed a chaste kiss on her temple.

“You’ll pay for this,” he mumbled into her hair.

Her eyes said it all. I’m looking forward to it, Buzzard.

“What happened? What happened?” Eliora’s voice dragged Aelin back to the present. She was sure her youngest had no idea what was going on at this point in the story, but Rowan continued nonetheless.

It was three weeks before he saw her again. Three weeks of avoided group hangouts and staying in his dorm room during parties. Three weeks of taking a longer route than normal to all of his classes, and three weeks of wishing he could speak to the girl he couldn’t get out of his head.

Rowan was sitting at a picnic table in the middle of one of the university quads, textbook open and highlighter in hand. He hadn’t actually understood any bit of what he had read, but at least it looked like he was doing something. And it seemed to be working pretty well for his other problem.

“Fleetfoot, get back here!” Or not.

Rowan tried not to draw attention to himself as Aelin ran past his table, after the massive bundle of golden fur that was running away from her. He watched as she chased her dog around the quad, finally giving up as she layed on the ground, arms splayed wide. It wasn’t long before Fleetfoot was back and licking her face.

He felt Aelin’s laugh all the way to his heart.

“Ten bucks says he grows a pair and asks her out.” Sam had long since abandoned his spot on the couch in favor of sitting on the ground to watch his father intently as he told the story. He had muttered the words to his sister, whose feet were right by his head. She too was looking at her father intently.

“Twenty says he keeps ignoring her until happenstance pushes them together.”

Rowan rolled his eyes at his children, even though the spark in his green eyes showed he was more than amused. “Your mother was right. It is impossible to finish a story in this house.”

“Gods,” Sam said, shaking his head. “I can’t believe my dad was such a pus-”

“Let’s see how fast I can ground you,” Rowan cut him off with a stern look to the child in his arms who seemed to be on the verge of sleep. Sam smiled sheepishly.

“My bad.”

“Will you shut up so he can finish the story?” Nehemia glared at her brother.

“Alright,” Aedion slammed his hand down on Rowan’s helmet, sending a large clattering sound through his head. Rowan scowled at his best friend, shoving him away. “What the fuck is going on between you and my cousin?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rowan turned back to his bag, shrugging off his helmet and shoving it into the massive pack before taking a sip of his water bottle, all while ignoring Aedion and those eyes that reminded him so much of the ones he truly wanted to see.

“Don’t bullshit me, Rowan,” Aedion snapped at him, forcing Rowan to face him. “The two of you have been skirting around each other for the past three weeks and Aelin won’t even come to parties with us anymore so what. Happened.”

Rowan stopped. Aelin hadn’t been going to parties? Had she been avoiding him as much as he had been avoiding her? He looked at his best friend and shrugged.

“We kissed. During spin the bottle.”

Aedion looked at him for what seemed like minutes before bursting into uncanny laughter.

“Damn,” he wheezed out. “That’s it? Well, it’s about time.”

“Excuse me?” Rowan growled, and Aedion stopped laughing.

“You know what I mean, man. It’s about time. All those years when you two would look at each other and glance away before the other noticed. Or when you defend each other when the

other isn’t there- yep, don’t think I didn’t notice that. I think we can all agree that it’s about time.”

Rowan shook his head, incredulous. Other people had noticed that?

“No, Aedion,” he sighed. “Aelin hates me. She wants nothing to do with me.” Aedion stared at him again before, shaking his head.

“Ro, man, you are such an idiot sometimes.”

“You know, Aedion. Saying cryptic shit and expecting other people to understand you doesn’t help anyone,” Rowan snapped, his patience thinning. Turning back to Aedion, he found his eyes glued on something behind him.

Rowan’s heart stopped. There was no way.

But sure enough, Rowan turned around to meet the gaze of a gaping Aelin Galathynius. She held a tennis ball in one hand and Fleetfoot circled the ground at her feet. Clearly, the dog had chased the ball into their field and her owner had eventually followed. At the worst timing imaginable.

“Aelin-” Rowan started, but she was already gone, whirling around and sprinting out of the stadium, the golden retriever at her heels. He didn’t think before following after her. “Aelin, wait!” he called after her, forcing his legs to go faster.

It turned out that Aelin Galathynius was quite fast when she wanted to be, and Rowan only caught up to her when she was standing in front of her dorm building. She didn’t need to turn around for Rowan to know she was fuming.

“Gods, what do you want, Rowan?” she glared at him, her voice ice. “Haven’t you already proven your point?” Rowan wanted to grab her and shake her.

“Proven my- what? Aelin I-”

“Look you made yourself very clear at the party, alright?” she snapped, turning away from him. But Rowan’s arm shot out, catching hers before she could leave and forcing her to look at him. “I get that Aedion can be nosy at times but you were so out of line, Whitethorn.”

The confused look on his face must have been painfully obvious. Aelin rolled her eyes. “Look, if it was just an act to shut Aedion up, I-”

Rowan kissed her.

This woman. This annoying, infuriating, intelligent, beautiful woman. She was absolutely astounding. And she thought he somehow hadn’t noticed that.

Rowan wanted to remember the feeling of her lips on his for the rest of his life. Wanted to bottle the sound of the small gasp she released before melting into the kiss. He wanted to mold their bodies together until there was no room left. Rowan wanted to feel her soft hair between his fingers and the feeling of her hands in his hair until the day he died. He never wanted to let her go.

This time when the two pulled back, Rowan kept her close to his body with an arm around her waist. Her arms were still around his neck and Aelin gazed at him through wide eyes. Before she could say anything, Rowan kissed her again, this time lingering. She kissed his smile with her own.

“It was never an act.”

“Well it seems to me that Fleetfoot is the true heroine of the story,” Nehemia grinned, petting the head of her own puppy that sat at her feet next to Sam. “Without her, you two would never have met again. Oh, and I won, by the way Sammy. Pay up.”

“That’s my girl,” Rowan grinned, pride shone over his face at his daughter’s antics regardless of her win being at his expense. Sam practically growled as he handed his sister a twenty-dollar bill.

“Oh, don’t be sad, Sammy,” Aelin comforted her son, holding her arms out until he rolled his eyes and walked over to give her a hug. “Ask out Asterin and your kids won’t do the same thing to you,” she whispered, earning a dark red blush on her son’s cheeks.

She shared a knowing look with Rowan, unable to resist reaching up and kissing his lips once more. Rowan returned it in kind, grinning when she nipped playfully at his bottom lip.

“Boo!” Nehemia called from her spot on the couch as Sam yelled, “Get a room!”

Aelin turned to Rowan once more, unsurprised to see his gaze already on her. “Remind me why we keep them?” Rowan’s laugh rang out loud as he pulled Aelin close to his body. Her head landed on his shoulder and she sighed in content.

“Because we’re cute,” Nehemia supplied. “At least, one of us is.” She gazed at her little sister who had long since fallen asleep on her father’s lap.

It seemed that their entire reason for telling the story had fallen asleep long before her father had finished telling it. There was no doubt that Eliora wouldn’t remember any bit of the story when she woke up.

“She’s too young to understand the story yet,” Nehemia said, brushing back a piece of her little sister’s hair with astounding gentleness.

“So what do we tell her when she’s old enough?” Aelin asked, cherishing the kiss that Rowan placed on her head and unable to contain the insurmountable love in her heart as her kids responded.

“Oh, Mom’s version, for sure. It’s way better.”

taglist:

@story-scribbler

@rowaelinismyotp

@live-the-fangirl-life

@claralady

@surielandiareendgame

#aelin galythinius #rowan whitethorn #aelin #rowan #aelin x rowan #rowan x aelin #rowaelin #rowaelin fic #rowaelin au #modern au #rowaelin fanfiction #tog #sjm #throne of glass

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reidsmemory · 4 years

Text

Daycare

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Y/N is a high school teacher and Hotch’s niece. She meets the BAU one morning and feels a connection with one of the agents. A few weeks later she is involved in a kidnapping and has to get her students to safety.

Genre: Action with some fluff

Quinn Speaks: Okay so I kinda got off track here and it’s more of a bad ass reader fic but I wrote the bulk of this at like 2 am. I hope you all enjoy and let me know if you want a part 2!!

not my gif!

Your day started at 3 am. That’s right, 3 am. The buzzing noise of your phone woke you out of your slumber as you picked up the device and brought it up to your face, the blinding white light made your eyes adjust immediately. Uncle Aaron was listed as the caller ID and a picture of him, Jack, and yourself was also shown on the screen.

“Hello?” you said in your best ‘you totally didn’t wake me’ voice which really ended up being your ‘I’ve been dead for 5 years and been just revived’ voice instead.

“Y/N, I’m really sorry, but I need you to come in to BAU. We just caught a case and I can’t a sitter for Jack so he’s here with me and-” the man would have kept rambling about the situation if you hadn’t cut him off.

“No problem, Uncle Aaron. I’ll be there in 25 minutes.” You threw off your covers and began to walk over to your bathroom.

“You’re a lifesaver, thanks Y/N.” You hummed and he promptly hung up the call. You flipped on the light switch and saw that you had indeed looked like you had been dead for 5 years. You sighed and got to work.

You usually babysat Jack when Aaron was out of town for a case and your flat had become a second home for Jack. It wasn’t like that hadn’t happened before, him calling you about a case and needing you to watch Jack, no of course not. But he would usually call you a couple hours in advance or it would be during hours of the day when you were actually awake and running around.

You finished getting your hair to look quite decent all things considered and your teeth brushed and your face was washed. You decide to just throw a cardigan over your tank top and shorts and you made your way to the front door, grabbing your keys, phone, and some snacks for Jack as well as slipping on your strappy, tan sandals.

You locked your door and walked to the elevator on your floor and pressed the parking garage button. The elevator hummed as it went down and you yawned, stretching a bit as well.

The doors dinged open and you made your way to your car and started to drive off. To keep your eyes awake, you played a classic rock station that was full of guitar solos and drum bangs that would surely keep you up. You pulled into a little drive through and got some coffees for yourself, your uncle, and his team as well as a hot chocolate for Jack.

“25.96 is your total,” the cashier at the window said as you handed her your card. She was still ringing it up as she turned to you, “so, what’s got you up at 3 am and grabbing a shit load of coffee?”

You chuckled lightly at her words, “babysitting emergency.”

She gave you a grin and handing you your card. “Well, good luck,” she said while handing you the holder for all the drinks as well as the drinks themselves.

“Thank you, have a good morning,” you said with a light smile.

“Ditto.” She closed the windows and smiled as you drove off, you still had about 10 minutes to get to the BAU. Traffic was light which worked in your favor as well as living pretty close to the building.

You parked and started to get out with the coffees as you made your way to the entrance. You stepped inside as the security guards scanned you and checked the drinks and you were finally able to make your way up to the designated floor with a visitor pass.

A woman with black hair came into elevator as well and you both exchanged good mornings and a light smiles. She was no doubt judging the outfit you were wearing, wondering where in the federal government you work that allowed you to come into work wearing your a sleep top and shorts as well as a big cardigan.

You both stepped out on the same floor and you made your way through the bullpen and straight to your uncle’s office.

Emily watched you walk off and she furrowed her eyebrows, she had never seen you at the BAU before and now you were walking into her boss’ office with coffees and in your pj’s. “Do you know who that is?” she asked Spencer as he looked up from some paper work.

“Who?” he asked as Emily discreetly pointed in your direction. Spencer furrowed his brows as he had never seen you before. He watched you walk up the small amount of stairs to Hotch’s office and noticed that you also had a visitor pass in you hand as well a some coffees.

“Spencer?” Emily said as he continued to watch you. “Reid!” she snapped in front of his face as he finally brought his attention back to Emily. He looked at her and quickly stole glances at you when he though she wasn’t watching.

She noticed.

Emily grinned at the younger man as he turned his attention back to Emily and blushed lightly, deciding to return to the papers in front of him, but not without sneaking another glance at you.

Your uncle opened the door and ushered you into his office where Jack was sleeping on the couch. “Thank you for coming,” his voice was quiet and you just smiled as he brought you into a hug.

“I got coffees for you and your team; needed one myself and figured you guys would want some too,” you whispered as Hotch smiled lightly and took the carrier from you. “So what happened?”

“Missing child in Louisiana. He was over at a friends for a sleepover and was nabbed about an hour ago.” You nodded and frowned a bit as did your uncle.

“Well, good thing they’ve got the best on the job,” you tried to lighten the mood as he held a closed lipped smile. “Don’t worry about us, we’ll be fine.”

He nodded his head and grabbed some files from his desk and headed to the door of his office. You smiled at him as he said his goodbyes to Jack, waking him.

Hotch closed the door and was met by the stares of his team, “we’ll have to brief on the plane. There’s been a missing child report in Louisiana so wheels up in 10.” The team nodded and started to pack up and get ready. “My niece got us all fresh coffee as well,” he walked down the stairs and put the tray on an empty table.

“Y/N’s here?” Morgan asked as Hotch nodded. “She is a lifesaver.”

“My words exactly,” he said and walked away as the team went to grab the drinks.

You put Jack on your hip and started to walk out of the office. You closed the door and turned around as you were greeted by the warm smile of Derek Morgan.

“Morning, Hotcakes,” he teased as you smiled widely. You walked down the stairs as he pulled you into a side hug seeing as Jack was clinging to your other side. You both pulled away as he started up again, “thanks for the drinks.”

“Course, I figured you guys would be as tired as me,” you said nonchalantly as he nodded. You saw the other pairs of eyes on you and quickly introduced yourself, “sorry, i’m Y/N. Aaron’s niece.”

They nodded at your words as Rossi made his way over to you. “Nice to see you again, Kiddo,” he hugged you the same way Morgan had and you smiled at the older man.

“Jennifer Jareau, but I go by JJ,” she stuck out her hand as you smiled at her and shook it.

“Emily Prentiss.” The raven haired woman did the same as JJ as she shook you hand and smiled.

“Uh, Spencer Reid,” the taller brunette man told you as you shot him a small smile seeing as he didn’t offer a handshake. “I wasn’t aware that Hotch had a niece,” he said.

“Oh, yeah. I moved out here a few months ago for Hotch and Jack,” you told them.

“Where do you work?” JJ asked.

“I’m a teacher at Philip Moore High School.”

“Yeah, Miss. Y/N is the best history teacher,” Derek teased a you rolled your eyes with a small smile on your face.

“Alright, I better get out of your guys’ hair and get this little one out of here,” you told them as they nodded. “Good luck with the case.” You smiled at them and gave Morgan on last side hug before you were walking through the bullpen and towards the elevator.

Spencer watched as you went and felt a clap on his back from Derek. He whipped around and saw the older man smiling. “Somebody got a crush on the teacher?” he singsonged as Spencer’s cheeks flamed pink.

“From the minute I pointed her out to him,” Emily recalled as she chuckled a it, “the chatty doctor turns into a gaping teenage boy.” Spencer heard JJ snicker as he felt his cheeks heat up even further.

The door of the BAU opened as they all whipped around and saw Hotch standing with his go bag and some files, “lets go.”

***

It was a few weeks later and the case had gone great from what your uncle told you. They had found the kid and caught the creep who took him within the 24 hour rule they set up.

You stood by a yellow school bus and held a roster of names in your hand. “Alright!” you yelled out as mostly all the kids quieted down. “I’m gonna let everyone sit where they want as long as the volume doesn’t get too loud, yeah?”

There was a mix of yes’ and okay’s in the crowd of 25 or so sophomores. Today you were taking a trip to the nations capital, a tradition for this school. The kids would go see a historical museum and take a tour of the White House, then you all would eat lunch downtown and then the kids go to vote on whether they wanted to go to another museum or go see a historical show.

“Lets get going then.” The kids filed onto the bus as you marked the names to the faces. Your co-worker was standing next to you and handing kids their badges and name tags.

Once everyone was on the bus, you turned to the slightly older man. “Ready to go?” he asked you as you nodded. Both of you climbed on the bus and the kids quieted down as Mr. Greene opened his mouth, “Alright you all know the drill, no wondering off, no yelling or running, and stick with your partners!”

They all nodded and said a variation of yes.

“I can take the middle if you want the front,” you told him as he nodded and you headed towards one of the benches you had put your bag on. A mix of girls and boys were around it and you were glad that you were on the younger side so that you could somewhat understand what they were talking about.

“Miss. Hotchner!” a boy called as you turned to face him. “Do you have any games for the ride?” This got the attention of the kids around you.

“Sure,” you started, trying to think of something to keep the teen engaged and interested. “Whoever can spot a red car with the letter q in the licences plate will get ice cream for them and their seat partner. Same thing goes for blue cars with a y.” The kids nodded and started conversing strategies on how they would do this.

You knew it was silly, but you would’ve loved if a teacher did this during your school trips. The bus started moving and you were soon pulling away from the school.

***

JJ walked into Hotch’s office, “We’ve got a case and need to go now.” He put down his pen and and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair.

“Fill me in,” he said to JJ as he motioned for the rest of the team to get up.

“A bus full of high schoolers on their way to a field trip in DC. They never checked in to their morning tour or any other events. Parents can’t get a hold of kids and faculty can’t get in touch with the teachers on the trip.”

“So it’s local. How long ago did the high school contact us?” he asked.

“Not even 15 minutes ago,” JJ told him as he nodded.

“Let’s take the SUVs and set up at the high school,” he told the team as the nodded and grabbed their things and headed for the doors. They sped to the cars and split up; Hotch, Reid, JJ, and Morgan in one while Rossi, Emily, and Penelope were in the other.

“Alright,” JJ set up her phone so it was on speaker and connected to the other car. “26 kids and 2 teachers along with a bus driver were heading out for an annual field trip the school does for sophomores. No one on the bus has been able to be contacted and were supposed to be back at the school 45 minutes ago.”

“What time did they take off?” Morgan asked.

“7:15 am and their first activity was at 9:50 am which they never checked in for according to the museum,” JJ explained.

“Garcia,” Hotch started, “can you pull up the bus GPS?”

“On it, Sir!” she replied. They kept driving to the school and were within 7 minutes of the destination seeing as they had sped all the way there. The team talked more as Garcia was pulling stuff up. Hotch pulled into the school and payed no attention to the sign as they did so.

They hopped out of the car and were met with the principal who had a grief stricken face. “Thank you so much for coming,” he spoke, “James Randalf, I’ll take you guys to the room we’re set up in.”

“SSA Aaron Hotchner,” he said as he stuck out his hand. The man shook it but held a weird look on his face. “What is it?” Hotch asked.

“You said Hotchner?” he asked as Aaron nodded, “Any relation to Y/N Hotchner?”

“Yes, she’s my niece. This is Philip Moore High School?” The principal nodded as they walked through the hallway. He opened to door for the team swiftly as he stepped in.

“She’s one of the teacher’s that was on the bus.” Hotch paled at the man’s words as the rest of the team did a double take. Spencer had been to immersed in the case file and hadn’t seen the name of the high school as they pulled up or he would’ve at least connected the dots a bit faster.

“Get started,” Hotch said as he pulled out his phone rung your number up. The phone stayed ringing and no one picked up as Aaron cursed under his breath. “Garcia I need you to get the GPS of this number,” Hotch read your number and thought to himself that you always kept your GPS on and he urged you to do it one day as you took Jack.

“Just in case anything happens, alright?”

“Nothing will happen to us, but okay,” you said with as smile as Jack giggled in your arms.

“Got the location, Sir,” Garcia said as Hotch snapped out of the trance he was in.

“Call for a SWAT car. Morgan, Emily, Reid, Rossi lets go,” Hotch ordered as they all nodded and followed the man out of the building, all hoping to find you and the kids.

***

“Everyone just stay calm!” the man yelled as he entered the bus with another man behind him. The bus driver reached for his walkie-talkie and the second man shot him right in his forehead. The kids around you were whimpering and crying as you tried to be discreet about your movements.

You grabbed the pepper spray from you bag and put it down your bra as well as taking your small pocket knife and putting it in your shoe. Students looked to you as you held up a finger to your mouth and nodded at them, gesturing for them to listen and stay quiet.

“We don’t want to hurt anyone else,” the first man started, “we just want everyone to stay calm and stay quiet. We won’t kill you.”

“Phones now,” the second said as he came around with a sack as kids put their phones in. You kept your head down and did the same, he didn’t seem to realize you were a teacher. He walked back up the aisle and pointed his gun at Mr. Greene. “Red, up,” he said referring to the color of the man’s shirt. He instructed Greene to move the bus driver out of his seat and onto the side of the road. Once he was finished he stood back up and both men stepped outside and shot him as well as dumping the phones.

You took this opportunity to turn to the kids next to you. “Only call me by my first name, Y/N,” you told them as they nodded, “pass it on.” They whispered to each other and you were pretty sure that all the students knew what to do now.

They stepped back on the bus and one of the men got into the driver’s seat while the other stepped to the aisle at the front of the bus. “Everyone is gonna quiet up. You all are a special bunch, parents in high position, rich, and willing to do whatever they can to get back their precious children.” The other man laughed as he started up the bus. “If I see anyone trying to communicate with the outside I will not hesitate to blow your head off. No talking and we wont have a problem.”

He sat where Mr.Greene did as the other man started to drive off. Some kids kept their heads down and others near you looked to you. You signaled that everything was going to be okay and that you would kept them safe.

There had to be a way to warn you uncle where you were going.

***

At the sight, the team found two bodies and all of the cellphones. Hotch cursed silently as did the rest of the team. Spencer walked up and down the road as something had caught his eye. He picked up a folded piece of paper and opened it carefully.

“Do you have something, Kid?” Morgan asked as he nodded and walked over to the agents.

He unfolded the note and showed them as Hotch spoke up, “that’s Y/N’s handwriting.”

2 men, White. 5′11 & 5′9. 190 and 170 lb. Aggressive and passive. Friends.

The note had the team smiling as you had been able to give a clue of what they had to look for. “Definitely a Hotchner,” Rossi joked as Aaron smiled lightly at the man’s words.

“Lets get this back to Garcia, see if she can get a match.” The team nodded at their section leader’s words.

Spencer held the note in his hand and smiled to himself, he had only met you once, but you were proving to be very resourceful as well smart. This made his small crush grow into a full blown one and now he just had to get you back.

***

They had taken you all to an abandoned barn about 3 hour drive at top speed. They tied you all up and made you all sit as they quickly made their way to a van that was parked in the barn. They had taken the boys to another location and left the the girls in the barn.

As soon as you heard the car pull away you looked around for any cameras and saw that their were none. Girls whispered to each other as you soon gained their attention, “everyone listen up,” their eyes where on you. “We are going to get out of here alright?” They nodded as you quickly assessed the situation.

“What are you going to do, Miss. Hotchner?” one of the girls asked.

“Get out of these.” You took the pocket knife from your shoe and switched it open. “Here,” you said handing it to one of the girls, “cut these open.” She nodded and did as you told her. Soon the zip ties where off your hands and you took the knife back from her and cut the zip ties around your feet.

You quickly did the same to the rest of the girl as you were all free now. “We move together. If they come back I’ll hold them off and the rest of you run and get help. Get my uncle, his name is Aaron Hotchner and he works for the FBI. Take this,” you grabbed the pepper spray and handed it to one of the girls, “use it if you have a good shot and pick up anything you can defend yourself with.”

They nodded and you lead the way out of the barn. The van was no where in sight and you were good to go. You started going a different path than the main road in as to avoid the men.

You were able to walk with the girls for a good couple hours as you soon saw a gas station. You walked in with the girls and told the man behind the counter your predicament, he was about to dial the police as the door opened and a man walked in. One of the men who kidnapped you all.

He shot the man behind the counter and the girls froze. “Thought you could get away that easy?” he said as you gripped the knife in you hand behind your back. He came closer and pointed the gun at you all. “Lets go!” he yelled as some of the girls flinched. He got closer as you were able to tackle him the the ground.

His gun went off and slid to the side as the girl watched you and him fight. You were able to flip him on his stomach and grab the keys out of his pocket. You threw them at the girls direction and yelled, “go! Like we talked about! Get to a big city and don’t stop!” He manged to flip you over and push you to the ground as you gritted you teeth and saw the girls run out of the shop and to the van.

You kneed him in the sweet spot as he crumbled above you and you got up on your feet and went to the gun but were tackled to the ground as your face slammed down. He turned you over and held down your hands as he delivered a punch to your face.

This went on for a while; you and him struggling and giving each other bruises that would hurt for days. You were finally able to knock him out, by slamming his head against the hard floor.

You stood up and took the gun and knife as you were able to make your way out of the store and to the little car sitting outside. You broke the passengers side window and unlocked the car and made your way over to the drivers side to hot wire the car. You fumbled with wires and finally got the car to start as you heard a chime from the store entrance. The man was coming out as you pulled out as he tried to chase you as you stuck the gun out your window and were able to hit him in the leg as he fell to the ground. All those times training with your uncle had finally paid off.

You knew it was stupid, but you couldn’t help but go back to the direction of the barn. You hadn’t seen any structures where they could’ve keep the boys and you had to get them to safety. You had promised them.

***

A white van pulled up to the front of the school about 2 hours after the BAU had gotten there. The girls filed out and made their way inside the building as they saw the cars parked out in front and figured their would be someone there. The doors were open and they walked in and were met with shocked faces of the staff.

The staff got the agents as they made their way to the front of the school. Aaron watched as the girls look around clearly nervous and distraught. “We need to conduct interviews now.” The team nodded as they each took one of the girls into a classroom. JJ gathered all the parents with daughters and told them the good news.

Spencer and Aaron sat with one of the girls. “Start at the beginning.”

The girl told them about the barn and how you had gotten them out and then the walk to the gas station and how you had fought with the man as you told them to go and get help. “Do any of you know Aaron Hotchner? Miss. Hotchner told us to get him and he would know what to do.”

“That would be me,” Aaron spoke as she nodded.

“She saved us and I feel so bad for just leaving her there, with that man,” she shuddered at the thought. “Do you think he killed her?” she whispered to them as both Spencer and Hotch paled at the thought.

“I don’t think so,” Spencer spoke honestly, “Miss. Hotchner is very resourceful and you said she had the upper hand, right?” The girl nodded as Spencer smiled. “I’m sure she’s fine and you did just what she told you. You don’t have to feel guilty.”

She left the room and was soon reunited with her parents.

“We need to get to the gas station,” Hotch said as Spencer nodded. “Half of us will go there and the other half to the barn. We can have Garcia see if the car had GPS and if she can retrace where it’s been.”

The team regrouped and Garcia was able to get 3 locations in the vicinity. They split up accordingly and headed out to the locations.

***

You had scoped out a small building. It had no cars in front of it and was the the closest building to the barn you had been in earlier. You knew you could either go in guns a-blazing, but the man inside would have the kids as leverage and you knew you had to take him out as soon as possible or at least injure him.

You held the gun in your hand and quickly made your way to the building as you looked into one of the windows and saw the boys all tied up and the man sitting with as concerned look on his face. You devised your plan and figured it would be easier to lure him out. You walked back to the car and put pressure on the horn as it continued to make noise as the heavy stick pressing against it held.

The man came out as you hid behind a tree and waited for him to have his back to you. Once this happened you fired your gun and hit him in the back of his leg. He dropped to the ground and his gun went forward. You ran over and picked it up as he cried out and started cussing at you.

“You stupid bitch! You’re gonna pay for this!” he screamed.

“Sure, buddy,” you said in an amused voice. You put the guns down as you turned him on his back and took the branch for the car and hit his jaw with it as he passed out. You put it down and checked his pulse, still alive. You opened up the trunk of the car and held him in an army carry as you put him in the small space as you closed and locked the trunk. You jogged over to the building and opened the door to see around 17 teenage boys looking at you with more fear than you had ever seen.

“Miss. Hotchner!” one said as you smiled and got out your knife and began getting the zip-ties off of them.

“Is everyone okay? Anyone hurt?” They all said no to your question as nodded and finished getting everyone free.

“What happened to the girls?” one boy asked.

“They are hopefully with my uncle and making sure someone comes for us soon,” you told them as they nodded. “You’ll all get the full story when we get out of here, okay?”

You lead them out of the small building and told them to stay there. They did as told as you brought the car over and made sure to keep an eye on the man inside if he did manage to escape.

After waiting for a hour or so in the dark, a black SUV pulled up along with a swat car.

“Everyone put you hands up, it’s alright,” you told them as you placed down the gun and knife and put you hands above your head. The boys followed in suit and you soon saw your uncle get out of the car.

“Guns down! It’s just the kids!” he made his way over to you as you hugged him tightly. You groaned lightly as he pulled away. “Are you alright?” You nodded and gestured towards the kids as your uncle understood.

Spencer came over to you as smiled lightly at him. Your face was littered with cuts and bruises and even a bit of blood that was dried on your face. “Hey, Spencer,” you said as he smiled lightly. “There’s one of the douche bags in the trunk.” You pointed as he nodded at you words.

“Can I get some cuffs and a guy over here!” he yelled out as he made his way over to the trunk. A SWAT guy had his gun up as you unlocked the trunk and the man tumbled out.

He immediately started yelling, “where is that bitch!” he lunged at you from the ground as the SWAT cuffed him and brought him into custody. You closed the trunk and swiftly sat atop it. You winced slightly as Spencer was quick to come by your side.

“You’re hurt,” he said frowning as you nodded at his word.

“Got thrown around a bit,” you joked. He quickly went over to the SUV and got back to you as he was now holding a first-aid kit. He set it down on the trunk and quickly got to work on your face.

You cuts had stopped bleeding by now, but they were still open and Spencer delicately wiped them down and placed a few bandages on your face. You swore he was blushing, but it was too hard to tell in the dark.

He finished cleaning up your face and Hotch quickly thanked him. You got into the stolen car as 3 of the boys got in with you as well as Spencer and he started to drive off to the school.

***

Spencer pulled up to the school as you all got out of the car. Parents were waiting outside the car and the boys rushed to them as they all let out cries. You smiled at the sight and had also asked Spencer about the fate of the girls earlier and were grateful for that as well. You made your way over to a paramedic and she checked you out and quickly realized that you had in fact a minor dislocated your shoulder.

“Seriously?” you asked as she nodded.

“It was probably the adrenaline that allowed you body to over look it. That with the other bruises all over your body, your mind probably thought it was just one of those,” she explained. “I’ll have to pop it back in place.” You grimaced and nodded as she made her way over to your side.

Hotch was by your side as you stuck out your hand and he took it. Some of the students were watching, worried for you.

“Big breath in,” she told you as you followed her instructions and she quickly popped it back into place. You shoulder cracked loudly and you yelped a bit and turned some heads. “Alright, you’ll have to treat it with care and it might swell, but you are good to go Miss. Hotchner.”

“Thank you,” you told her with a light smile and you hopped of the back of the ambulance. Your uncle rubbed you back as you looked to him. “How’s Jack?” you asked as he smiled at your question.

“He’s fine. Will, JJ’s husband, is watching him.” You nodded at his response and made your way to the school as he still had to pack up some stuff. “I’m driving you home and don’t even think about coming into work tomorrow.” You laughed as he smiled at you.

“Miss. Hotchner!” Your name was called you looked to your uncle and quickly departed to got talk to the families.

“Is everything alright?” you asked the father as he nodded.

“We,” he gestured towards all the parents, “wanted to thank you for saving our kids and keeping them safe.” A few mothers and fathers were crying and kids were smiling at you lightly.

“Of course, i’m just glad that everyone is okay,” you told them truthfully. A girl came up to you and hugged you tightly as more kids came up and eventually the whole class was in a big group hug as some of them cried a bit, you surely teared up. They pulled away when your uncle came out and you bid the adieu and goodnight as you made your way over to Hotch.

“Ready?” he asked as you walked to your car.

You bit your lip. “One moment.” You made your way over to the young doctor and tapped him on the shoulder as he whipped around. “Spencer,” you spoke softly as he looked at you and paused on working on your face. “Would you want to get dinner on Friday?”

Spencer looked at you with wide eyes and couldn’t help but smile widely at your question.

“It’s just, I almost died a few time today and I don’t want to do anything that would regret, which would include not asking you out. I know it’s bad timing and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to and-”

You would’ve kept rambling, but Spencer cut you off, “I would love to have dinner on Friday with you.” You smiled at the man as he smiled back and now you were sure of the blush on his cheeks.

“Cool, um, do you have a pen?” you asked as he nodded and fumbled to get a pen from his bag. You smiled at him and took his palm as you wrote out your phone number and handed it back to him. “See you on Friday.” You smiled brightly as he nodded. You pecked his cheek and turned around quickly and was met with a surprised look on your uncles’ face.

Spencer blushed brightly and brought a hand up to his face to check if that had actually happened. Derek came up behind him and smiled widely as he clapped him on the back.

“Finally got the girl! Good job man!” Derek told him as he smiled widely and was met with happy smiles from the rest of the team.

“Dinner on Friday!” he gushed as they cheered and clapped a bit. All happy that the man had gotten some good new for once.

Dinner on Friday.

#criminal minds #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #emily prentiss #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #david rossi #Penelope Garcia #jennifer jareau #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst

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on-maars · 3 years

Text

The Getaway

Just another buddie fic, 4k, hope you’ll like it :)

Read it on AO3

Eddie is seated on the couch, his eyes barely glancing at the TV broadcasting an old episode of Friends. He turned it on a few minutes ago, hoping it would take his mind off things. He’s probably watched that episode a dozen of times already but anything is better than the big, gaping hole in his chest and the turmoil of feelings banging against each other in his head.

It’s a quiet night. Christopher’s already in bed and Buck just left a few minutes ago. For his date. With Taylor. His new girlfriend.

And it’s fine. It’s great, even. The timing is just not right. Or maybe it is. Maybe Eddie’s just the one who took too much time to realize what was right in front of him. Maybe Eddie’s just the one who messed things up. It wouldn’t be the first time, after all. He’s used to it, by now. In fact, he only seems to get better at it as the years go by.

“Why are you looking so sorry for yourself?”

It’s his Abuela talking. She just came back from the kitchen with an herbal tea in one hand and a plate with a few biscuits in the other. It’s nice – Eddie thinks. Spending time with her. After everything that happened, it’s a relief to have a comforting presence in the house, aside from Christopher.

And Eddie told Buck it was fine. He told him he could take care of himself for a few hours while he’s on a date with Taylor but Eddie’s just glad his best-friend didn’t take no for an answer and called Abuela anyway. Because the truth is, it’s not fine. The truth is when nighttime falls and darkness slowly settles upon the living-room, nothing distracts him from the wormhole of fear and despair that is his mind.

“Nothing, Abuela.” He says. “Don’t worry about me.” He adds, and gives her the most convincing smile he can muster. But his Abuela’s no fool. Eddie can pretend alright throughout the day, tell easy lies, fake smiles, anything to avoid any awkward conversations, anything to avoid talking about what really matters, at heart. Eddie’s good at it. He’s been doing that for years, in fact. But the quiet of the night makes it harder to pretend.

Still, he says:

“Everything’s fine.”

“No it’s not, nieto.” His abuela answers, patting him a few times on the cheek. “Does it have something to do with that boy of yours?” She asks, and Eddie chuckles lightly, lowering his eyes to the ground. The tightness of his chest only intensifies, as it always does when conversations get too close to the truth.

“He’s not my boy.” He only answers, squirming uncomfortably on the couch, ignoring the way his shoulder screams his pain at the movement. He winces but closes his eyes fiercely, letting the warmth of Abuela’s presence comforts him.

“But you wish he could be.” She remarks and Eddie rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed.

He’s never been really good at it. Talking about his feelings. Talking about what’s inside him, about what’s important. And he doesn’t really know how Buck managed to bypass that shell, he doesn’t really know how Buck managed to weave its way into the cracks of the wall Eddie erected around himself along the years but it’s too late, now. He let him in. He let him in and Eddie’s never felt so vulnerable.

“It doesn’t matter.” He says after a few seconds. “He’s happy.” He adds, and looks down once again. “That’s all I want for him. To be happy. And if that means watching him with her, then I-” He sighs, and marks a pause. “It doesn’t matter.” He repeats.

He gets up from the couch and takes a few steps in the living-room, the cup of herbal tea long forgotten. He doesn’t go far, though. His abuela’s voice echoes in the house before he has the time to make it to the kitchen.

“Of course it matters, Eddito.” She says, her voice calm and soft. “You need to talk to him.”

“And what good would it do?” Eddie snaps, looking up at her. “To tell him?” He adds. “Look, abuela, I- I love you, alright? But let me handle this. Please.” He says, uncapping a beer and taking a sip, his back leaned against the kitchen counter.

“If I let you handle this, you’re just gonna bottle it all up and ignore it.” His abuela says and Eddie’s tight on his beer bottle tightens. “He worries about you, Eddie.” She adds.

Eddie whirls his head around and frowns. “He told you that?”

“On the phone.” She confirms. “That boy was ready to cancel his date to spend the evening with you, nieto. You’ll always be his priority. You and Christopher. You’ll always come first. Whatever he’s got going on with that reporter of his, it’s not gonna last.”

Eddie chuckles a bit at the dismissive tone of his Abuela. He shakes his head and puts his beer on the kitchen table. “Her name is Taylor, Abuela. She’s actually kind of n-”

The next few words die in his throat as he hears Buck opening the door, quietly, keeping the noise to a minimum. Buck gives him a warm smile and kisses his Abuela on the cheek before taking off his shoes next to the doormat and dropping his keys on the kitchen table like he always does. And that’s just another thing Eddie can’t help but notice; how comfortable Buck is around his house, wandering around and making this space his own, fitting in a way no other person did before. Not Ana.

Not even Shanon.

Eddie smiles back at him softly, and ignores the knowing look of his Abuela.

She takes a few steps towards him and pats him on the cheek another time, pressing a small kiss there. “Tell him.” She whispers against his ear before disappearing in the living-room.

---

Turns out his Abuela is right. If handling it means sulking and watching Buck as he gets more and more comfortable with his relationship with Taylor, then Eddie’s pretty sure he’s doing a great job. In fact, if the tightness of his throat and the tenseness of his chest occurring every time he sees Buck and Taylor together are any indication, Eddie would even say he excels at it.

“You know you don’t need to throw daggers at her every time she’s around.” Hen says quietly next to him one day, while they’re all reunited in the Grant-Nash household to celebrate his first day without a sling. “Like, I’m just saying. If you want to pretend like everything’s alright then at least be better at it.” She says.

Eddie sighs and starts scratching at the tag on his beer bottle. “What do you want me to do, Hen?” He asks. “He’s- he’s happy.”

Eddie looks up at Buck and watches him as he wraps his arm around Taylor’s waist, bringing her closer while he discusses something with Bobby near the barbecue, and from the way his hands keep motioning to the air around him, whatever his best-friend is saying seems to passionate him a lot.

A few seconds later, Taylor presses a small kiss to his cheek and moves away from them to join David and Michael. And Eddie doesn’t like it, the way she managed to weave her way into the 118 and their extended family in just a few months. He doesn’t like it but that’s just the jealousy talking so he sucks it up and plays it cool instead. He makes small talk. He laughs at her jokes. He’s polite. Maybe a bit too much, at times. But he’s trying. He’s trying while still making sure to keep his interactions with her at a minimum.

She’s not making it easy for him, though. No. She keeps coming. Over and over again like she’s trying to prove a point. And Eddie doesn’t know if her trying so hard comes from a place of real thoughtfulness or simple willingness to please Buck, but the thing still remains that she makes him happy. And if his best-friend is happy then Eddie doesn’t mind carrying the pain a bit while longer.

“Eddie?” Hen asks, her eyebrows raised and Eddie whirls his head around, bringing his attention back on his friend.

“Sorry.” He says apologetically. “I was- thinking.”

“I was just saying. It’s not gonna last.” She says and Eddie scoffs, remembering the words of his Abuela.

“Ditto.” Chimney adds, interfering in the conversation.

“You do sound sure of yourselves.” Eddie says, his eyebrows raised.

“Look, Taylor is awesome. But she’s not good for him. He’s different when he’s with her. Less free. Like he’s trying to perform.”

“Just like you with Ana, really.” Chimney adds, his mouth full of crisps. “Because you’re just two idiots who need to have everything spelled out for you.”

“Because you’re an expert in relationships, now?” Eddie asks sarcastically.

“Clearly I’m not.” Chimney answers. “But that’s just how embarrassingly obvious you two are.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie only says, throwing a crisp at Chimney’s head.

Hen looks like she wants to keep arguing but the next second, Buck jogs over them and takes a seat next to Eddie, pacing a comforting hand on his arm. Eddie smiles softly at him and nudges him playfully, finding comfort in Buck’s warm presence.

“You okay?” Buck asks, his voice soft. “How’s your shoulder?” He asks, worried.

“I’m fine Buck.” He answers. “Pretty sure they wouldn’t have removed the sling if I wasn’t.” He adds playfully.

“Yeah yeah I know.” Buck smiles at him and marks a pause before adding, more seriously: “Just wanted to be sure.” He moves his hand from Eddie’s arm to his shoulder and trace small patterns on his exposed skin with his thumb. Eddie’s heart soars in his chest.

“So Buck.” Hen starts and from the tone of her voice, Eddie knows she’s up to something. “Everything’s okay with Taylor?”

It seems like a harmless question, an easy one that should come with an easy answer. Something Buck could dismiss with just a few words. Especially with Taylor only a few feet away from them. And that’s why Eddie’s surprised to hear the next few words coming out of Buck’s mouth.

“Yeah I-” Buck starts but marks a pause. “I don’t really know to be honest.” He says honestly and Eddie frowns.

“How come?” Chimney asks, throwing a pistachio nut in his mouth.

“She’s great.” Buck instantly answers like he’s trying to prove a point. “She really is and I like her but I’m just not sure if we want the same things you know. She’s- She’s very focused on her career, it’s always- it’s always gonna be her top priority and I’m never going to get in the way of that, I think it’s awesome but… Well, call me old school but I- I want a family.”

“You do have a family.” Eddie finds himself saying without thinking. A small smile breaks in on Buck’s face and he chuckles slightly, lowering his eyes to the ground.

“You know what I mean, Eds.” He adds.

I do – Eddie thinks. And I want it all with you.

“She doesn’t want kids?” Hen asks, and Eddie can’t help but exhales a small sigh of relief as Buck shakes his head slowly, his shoulders slumped down. Because that’s a deal-breaker for his best-friend and Eddie knows it.

“And that’s okay you know.” Buck adds. “I’m not gonna try and change her mind. That’s her choice. But I just can’t pretend to want the same thing. I want kids. And I know there’s already Christopher but I- I want something real.”

“This is real.” Eddie says before he can stop himself. And maybe he said too much. And from the snort Chimney lets out the next second, he realizes that yes he probably did, but Buck is watching him with so much attention Eddie finds it physically impossible to look away or force his mind to focus on something else than Buck’s eyes, eyes that seem to pierce through his very soul.

They shuttle back and forth, as if performing an internal scan of his face, until something eventually seems to click in Buck’s head and a flash of realization crosses his eyes. And just when Eddie expects his best-friend to say something, reject him awkwardly or express his confusion, Buck just gets up from his chair and walks away. Which – okay, Eddie definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Okay what just happened?” Hen asks.

“This was either the weirdest interaction I’ve ever witnessed or it’s just another one of their weird non-verbal communication.” Chimney answers.

“Well if it was, he was definitely talking to himself because I’m just as lost as you are.” Eddie intervenes, his eyes still fixed on Buck, watching him from afar. His best-friend whispers something against Taylor’s ear and she just nods, following him inside the house.

“Did they… Did they just leave?” Chimney asks, his eyes wide.

“Said it was an emergency.” Maddie nods, stepping outside the house, a confused expression plastered all over her face. “Looks like he had just seen a ghost.” She adds.

And this just leaves Eddie more confused than he was five minutes ago.

---

When Eddie goes back home with Christopher, it’s already quite late in the afternoon and Eddie’s now standing in front of the stove, trying his very best to follow his Abuela’s chicken soup recipe to the letter. Cooking’s never really been his area of expertise and he’s pretty sure he’s just going to mess it all up like he always does but he promised Christopher he would try, and it doesn’t matter how much his son grew, Eddie’s still unable to refuse any of his favors.

Buck would usually be the one cooking. Eddie usually just sits there, watching him and making sure he doesn’t forget a step from the recipe. Tonight is different, though. Buck’s been unreachable ever since he left that gathering and Eddie’s just too damn scared to take his car and drive to Buck’s loft.

“I don’t understand why Buck isn’t here, dad.” Christopher says, taking a few steps inside the kitchen. “He’s late and it’s movie night. He promised me we would finally watch the first Harry Potter movie. I even prepared the DVD. When is he coming?” He asks and Eddie lets go of the spatula, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“I don’t know, mijo.” He says.

“Well why don’t you text him?” Christopher asks and Eddie quickly takes his phone from his back-pocket, checking his messages for what might be the tenth time in an hour. Nothing.

“I did.” Eddie says. “But he’s not answering at the moment. He must be busy.” He adds, and his chest tenses. Because maybe Buck did understand what Eddie was trying to say back there. Maybe he did and maybe him walking away and leaving the house is just the way for him to make Eddie understand that nothing can ever happen between them. Maybe his Abuela, Hen and Chimney were all wrong, maybe Eddie did manage to ruin the best relationship he’s ever had in his entire life. Maybe that’s just another thing he can add to the list of all the things he failed.

Eddie shakes his head and takes a deep breath, biting his lower lip and holding back the tears already gathering in his eyes. “Get it together, Diaz.” He whispers to himself and stirs the soup that definitely doesn’t smell the same way than when Buck does it.

“But hey, it’s still fun if it’s just the two of us, right?” Eddie manages to articulate through gritted teeth.

“Yeah I guess. But he’s probably just late, dad.” Christopher says behind him. “He’d never miss a movie night.”

Or maybe he’s just not coming – Eddie thinks, but says nothing and nods weakly at his son instead. Christopher keeps smiling at him without a care in the world, his eyes fixed on their door, probably only waiting for Buck to finally step in. And that’s when Eddie realizes how badly he screwed up. Because he didn’t only ruin that relationship for himself, but most importantly he ruined it for his son. His son, who he knows sees Buck as another father figure. His son who loves Buck just as much as he does. What is he gonna tell him? That he was too weak to keep his feelings for himself? That he had to go and find a way to destroy the most stable relationship they’ve had in years? He can’t do that.

But just when his brain is about to spiral in endless direction, the door finally opens and Buck steps in, a huge smile on his face, the same cheerful, bright and sparkling attitude.

“Bucky!” Christopher exclaims, running towards him and wrapping his arms around his shoulders once Buck is squatted down in front of him. “You’re late.” He says with a reproachful tone.

“I know, I’m sorry buddy.” Buck answers apologetically. “I just needed to do something very important first. And then I went to the bookshop to buy this for you.” He adds, and Eddie watches him as he takes a book about space from his bag. “Look. The lady from the store told me it was a really good one.”

“Thanks Bucky.” Christopher only says, his eyes already scanning the different pages.

“I bought one for me too so we can discuss it together!” Buck says with a large smile and Eddie knows he’s just as excited as his son to start reading that new book and that’s enough to bring a small smile to his face.

“Dad was afraid you wouldn’t come.” Christopher says out of the blue and Eddie suddenly feels very small, and exposed. Buck looks up at him and smiles softly, ruffling Christopher’s hair before standing up.

“Are you kidding?” He says with his eyes wide, looking affronted. “I’d never miss a movie night with my favorite Diaz boys.

“That’s what I told him.” Christopher replies, nodding his head energetically. “But he can be very dumb sometimes.” He adds and Eddie lets out a small chuckle, his right hand gripping the edge of the table, so tight his knuckles go white.

His brain is working too fast for his head to catch up and he has no idea what’s going on but then Buck takes a few steps towards him and cups his cheeks with his hands to press a small kiss to his forehead and well – that’s enough for Eddie to lose all his composure. He wraps his arms around his shoulders and hold him close, burying his face into the crook of his neck, inhaling Buck’s aftershave. “I thought I had fucked up so bad I was going to lose you.” He whispers against his best-friend’s skin without thinking, letting out a sigh of relief when Buck only brings him a little closer.

“Yeah to be honest I didn’t really think of how that would look until I was back in my loft with Taylor.” He says and Eddie wants nothing more but to ask what that means but thinks better of it and quickly regains composure when he notices Christopher is still there in the kitchen, his eyes shuttling back and forth between the two of them. “You’re trying to cook, Diaz?” Buck eventually asks after a few seconds, his eyes falling on the soup still warming up in the pan. “Sure it’s a good idea?” He adds, his eyebrows raised.

“Shut up.” Eddie says, tapping him on the neck in a playful manner.

“It’s just that I don’t particularly want to die of food poisoning tonight.” Buck goes on and Eddie sighs, raising his hand in surrender and stepping aside to give him space to cook.

“I’m gonna prepare everything in the living-room.” Christopher says excitedly. “Buck, did you bring the popc-”

“In my bag.” Buck says without letting him finish his sentence.

“And the cand-”

“With the popcorn.” He nods and Eddie rolls his eyes at him, but his lips already start turning up at the edges. Christopher quickly disappears from the kitchen with Buck’s bag in his hand and Eddie leans against the kitchen counter, glancing at his best-friend from times to times.

The room is quiet now, without Chris. Buck is focused on the soup, stirring it and adding the spices, tasting it every now and then to make sure it doesn’t miss anything. Eddie would usually find it comforting, seeing Buck so at ease in his kitchen, but this time it fills him with a fearful anticipation.

“You know, we could have talked about it.” Buck says out of the blue and Eddie draws a sharp intake of breath, knowing what’s coming.

“Talked about what?” Eddie answers and Buck rolls his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief.

“This.” He simply answers. “Us.” He says, and Eddie starts peeling off the tag on his beer bottle. He stays silent for a few seconds, desperately racking his brain trying to find something to say but Buck beats him to it:

“You always do that when you’re nervous.” He says, and Eddie instantly looks down at his hands. “And then you always avert your eyes because you hate looking at people in the eye when a conversation gets a bit too close to the truth.” He goes on and Eddie sighs, putting the bottle on the table and forcing himself to keep his face neutral.

But still, he can feel Buck’s eyes on him and here it is again, the sensation that no matter what he does, no matter how much he tries to hide, Buck will always be able to see right through him.

“I just think it’s funny.” Buck says after a while and Eddie finally looks up at him, frowning in confusion. “You always say you’re not good with words, Eddie, but I never felt like you needed to be. Because your face always says all I need to know.” He adds and Eddie has to physically force himself to hold Buck’s gaze. It’s not easy, though, and he suspects his best-friend knows it because he smiles softly at him the next second, like he’s proud, or happily surprised.

“Yeah well.” Eddie says as an attempt to dismiss the importance of what Buck just said but his best-friend straight up laughs at him and Eddie cradles his chin with his right hand and forces him to look away. “Focus on that soup, Buckley.”

“I don’t think I can salvage your poor attempt at cooking this time, Diaz.” He teases him and Eddie simply rolls his eyes at him.

Buck stirs the soup a bit more and brings the spatula to Eddie’s face, his other hand placed under his chin, his fingers brushing past his skin. Eddie opens his mouth to taste the soup but is so taken aback by the gesture that he needs a few seconds to gather his thoughts.

“It’s- it’s good.” Eddie says, his voice low.

“Of course it is.” Buck answers, unimpressed. “It’s your Abuela’s recipe.” He adds. “It’s nearly ready.”

Eddie nods and lifts himself to sit on the kitchen counter, letting his eyes wander across Buck’s face. His best-friend seems very focused on the task at hand and as he opens the drawer to grab three bowls, Eddie thinks to himself that maybe it’s time for him to be brave as well.

“Maybe now’s a good time to talk about it?” He finds himself asking, with a trembling voice. Buck whirls his head around and looks at him, his eyes a little wider than usual. “Would- would that be okay?”

“Yeah.” Buck breathes with a smile. "Course it would"

“You think- you think that would work?” Eddie asks, his forehead wrinkled in concern. “Us?” He precises. “Is that- is that even a thing I’m allowed to think about?”

“I broke up with Taylor.” Buck blurts out and Eddie looks up at him.

“Because of what I said back there?” Eddie dares asking after a few seconds, his eyes filled with hope.

“Because of what you said.” Buck nods and takes a step forward. “I always know how to read you Eddie and yet until- until this afternoon, I was so far away from thinking that you might actually- that you might be-”

“I’m in love with you.” Eddie blurts out, cutting him off, and he knows he said the right thing when Buck lets out a small laugh and looks down at the ground, smiling sheepishly.

“Finally.” Eddie hears a little voice saying behind him. It’s Christopher talking and he sounds exasperated, and remarkably unimpressed. “I was wondering when you two would figure it out. Carla told me it would happen very soon but I wasn’t sure.” He says, pressing his hands on his face while a small sigh escapes his lips. “I guess she was right.”

Buck’s smile only gets a bit bigger as he watches Christopher in amazement. He shakes his head in disbelief but quickly brings back his attention towards Eddie and leans towards him to press their lips together for what is barely even a kiss because they’re both smiling too big and their teeth keep clanking together. Yet Eddie wouldn’t have it any other way. He brings Buck closer by putting his hands on the back of his neck and sighs in relief when Buck places his own hands on his lower back, tilting his head to kiss him with a better angle.

“I knew you’d be gross like that.” Chris says with a sigh and Eddie chuckles against Buck’s lips. “But that’s okay, I guess. As long as I’m still your favorite Diaz.” He adds, looking at Buck who only smiles a bit bigger.

“You’ll always be number 1, superman.”

“Dad is number 2, then?” Christopher asks and Buck shakes his head.

“Number 4.” He corrects him. “Pepa and your Abuela obviously come first.” He says, earning a small laugh from Christopher.

“Traitor.” Eddie mutters under his breath but Buck captures his mouth another time in a gentle kiss, and Eddie suddenly forgets how to think.

“If you don’t hurry, I’m starting the movie without you.” Christopher says while disappearing from the kitchen.

“Dinner coming right up, superman.” Buck instantly says, turning around to fill the three bowls with the soup, placing them on a tray afterwards. He looks up at Eddie and his hands motion to the air around him, chasing him out of the kitchen.

Eddie gladly accepts and as he takes a seat next to Christopher on the couch, he can still hear Buck busying himself around the kitchen and a bright smile breaks in on his face.

Yeah – he thinks. I can get used to that.

#it's kinda bad #but you know #i tried #buddie #buddie fic #buck x eddie #911 #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz

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nocompromise-noregrets · 2 years

Note

6, 7 for end-of-year fic asks

woohoo, thank you! Fair warning, this is going to be long.

6. What's your favourite piece of dialogue you wrote this year? Oh god, I don't know. I can't remember XD I am terrible at this sort of question, because the answer is always either 'all of it' or 'I can't remember off the top of my head' XDDDD (and when I do find something, it's invariably far too long for a tumblr post XD ) Hmmmm. The twins are always fun to write, but actually, I think I'm rather proud of this, from See This Storm Through, in which Legolas was not there when Bard died, but sort-of gets to say his goodbyes anyway:

Somewhere in the depths of the night, I find myself suddenly, unaccountably, in the streets of Dale, underneath the oak tree that Tilda calls the Hope Tree, and Bard is there, leaning against the tree’s trunk, one hand spread flat against the bark. He looks as he did when I first met him, upon the lake shore after the dragon had destroyed his home, and for a moment I am confused.

It’s all right, lad, he says, I understand. You’ve your own life to live, and in any case, I knew you were there, your spirit at least. You spent longer in those halls than I ever did, you were there in every corner. For your father, and for me.

“But I wanted to see you,” I hear myself saying, “I wanted to say goodbye.”

I know, lad. But you’re seeing me now, aren’t you? And you already said goodbye, when you left the last time.

“Sigrid said the same thing,” I admit. “But I didn’t mean it that way, I didn’t mean goodbye for ever.”

Of course you didn’t, he says, and there is a smile in his voice. Nobody ever does. But sometimes, that’s just the way it works out. But - you know I know. And I hope that helps.

“Not very much,” I hear myself saying, my words carried away on the wind, and everything dissolves into smoke and mist, the faintest sound of Bard’s warm laughter, you’ll be all right, lad, just hold onto those you love, because they love you more than anything.

And then I am awake, staring into the darkness, my father’s slow, even breathing in my ear. I could have sworn that Bard was there, with me, only a foot or two away - and now I know that he is not, he is gone, and the sorrow is almost more than I can bear. I roll over and bury my face in the pillow, swallowing down the sobs that rise in my throat, that shake my shoulders, and eventually the storm passes and I am calmed, breathless, feeling wrung out but suddenly lighter, easier, and Bard’s words from my dream echoing in my ears, you’ll be all right, lad, just hold onto those you love. He never called me ‘lad’, not in life, but somehow it feels right, and I am comforted.

7. What’s your favourite piece of description or narration? Ditto - I've written so blasted much (and I go on at such length, and most of my fics are mostly dialogue XD ) that it's really hard to pick just one piece that's of a suitable length for a tumblr post XD Here's Legolas being introspective in The Stars and the Trees and Dreams of the Sea:

But now it is all over, the war has been won and Middle-Earth is safe at last. Aragorn and Arwen are wed and firmly installed as the rulers of Gondor, Faramir and Éowyn are settling in Ithilien, as am I, the Periannath and the Rohirrim have gone home, the last of my people in Middle-Earth are beginning to take ship to the West. But I am lingering, as a few others are including my father, and some of the citizens of the Woodland Realm have come to join me in our little colony beneath the trees of Ithilien, for as many years as we can stay here before the call of the Sea - or that of the forests - grows too strong for us to resist. I have made a promise to Aragorn and to Arwen, that I will stay until he has passed beyond this world, and that I will comfort her in her grief and see her to her rest, if she wishes me to do so. Besides, I could not leave, not yet, not when I have so recently found a friendship as strong as any that is spoken of in song and story, in legends of old. Gimli has a realm of his own to worry about, but we visit each other, and we continue the lifelong enjoyment of getting to know each other, and all is well. I feel the Sea-longing, but I have found a way to quiet it, and I can wait, for now, there will be time enough for me to sail later, when all of the friends I have made here are gone.

And for now, I have plenty of time for solitude; my new people are arriving in ones and twos and small groups, not all of them choosing to take up the opportunity my father is allowing them straight away. I know that some of them are coming to Ithilien to see how they get on away from our home, to weigh up the decision of whether to sail West or to live on here in Middle-Earth, dwelling beneath the trees for ever; and that is their decision to make. I still do not know which way my father will decide, and I am trying not to think about it, for much as I know that I will sail, when the time comes, I think he is afraid that he will not find what he needs in Valinor, and that leaving our home will wound him gravely, perhaps too much for him to bear, for all that my mother may await him in Valinor, released from Mandos’ Halls. He has only recently regained it in its full glory, after all, and he is engaged in restoring it to what it should have been, all these long centuries.

And I am not at all sure that I can bear to lose him again, after such a short time in which we have come to understand each other after spending so long estranged. So I think I can understand very well how he feels.

@spiced-wine-fic also asked that one, and for 1, 4 and 8 - thank you! :D

1. What’s your personal favourite thing you wrote this year? Aargh. One thing you have probably learned about me by now is that I am constitutionally incapable of picking a favourite anything. Although currently I think it's a toss-up between Wrath and Ruin and a kiss in the cold and dark (I should have kissed you that summer), both of which were a little unexpected. Although I love everything I've written. :D

4. Which of your fics this year was most successful? In terms of cumulative numbers of kudos/comments/bookmarks it has to be My Heart Is An Empty Vessel, just because it's so damn long. But in terms of speed-of-accrual of hits, bookmarks and kudos, especially compared to length, it's Do I Have To?, a Hawkeye TV oneshot which I banged out immediately after watching the final episode, and which went over 150 kudos in the space of 48 hours and 1k hits in not much longer. Obviously it's a larger fandom, and the fic was very current at the time of posting - it slowed down noticeably within about three days and now it gets about the same rate of kudos as my more popular Tolkien stuff, which is to say one or two every couple of days. Honourable mention to All I Want Is You and All I Want (for Christmas) Is You for having - I think - the most individual regular commenters (about five or six, whereas Empty Vessel has four or five, so it's only by a nose) :D

8. Which fic this year was most fun to write? Another tough one! I can tell you which were not fun, and that is my two TRSB pieces, which were like pulling teeth for some reason, although I like them well enough now they're bloody done XD I enjoyed most of the others, and I particularly liked setting the twins loose in Dale in See This Storm Through. I also had a lot of fun with a kiss in the cold and dark, mainly because it developed and grew so unexpectedly. And I really enjoyed writing Thranduil sending himself up in Hilda's Grandma's Special Secret Recipe (and a little bit, on the same subject, in See This Storm Through).

heeee, thank you! I really ought to learn to pick favourites XDDDD

Anyone else fancy making me squirm by asking me to remember what I wrote last year and then pick one? (btw it is never too late to ask me ask game questions, even if you come across my post a few hours or a couple of days later...I love answering them, just specify which set of questions you're picking from in case I've done some others :D )

#ask game #go on #ask me stuff!#my writing #legolas #thranduil #bard #bard/thranduil #barduil #lotr

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adonis-koo · 4 years

Text

the liar’s hotel

Summary: Everything between you and your boyfriend Jungkook is great until his perfect little lie falls apart along with your relationship

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader, Taehyung/Reader

Genre: angsty, angst, angst, implied one sided pining, implied unrequited feelings, it’s just generally sad, messy feelings, best friend!AU,

Word Count: 3k

~ unedited ~

Anon request; i wish you would write a fic where MC sort of lost her memory and is currently in an established relationship with Jungkook. then her actual boyfriend comes into the picture and Jungkook actually knows about him but never mentioned or hid it from mc. i've been thinking about this plot for a really long time but couldn't think of a really good backstory on how MC and Jungkook ended up being together. and i know you'd be able to give justice to this. i'm ready for the angst. 😂💜

“...You’re wearing that out?”

You paused from your spot in the mirror as you turned around, still fixing your earring as you gave your boyfriend a teasing smile, “What? It’s nothing I haven’t worn before.” Jungkook sighed as he glanced away from you, a pouty frown on his lips causing you to giggle as you straightened up.

“C’mon, you’re the one that suggested we go out with Namjoon and Seokjin.” You wrapped your arms around his waist as you set your chin in his chest, glancing up at him with a bright smile. Truth be told you were surprised when Jungkook suggested going on, he was a total nerd and introvert who would’ve preferred to stay in and watch a movie or play video games. Regardless you were happy to go out with your boyfriend.

Just the word made you wanna giggle, who would’ve thought you’d end up in love with you best friend since kindergarten. It made sense, Jungkook was with you your whole life, he was the one who hugged you and consoled you when the popular girl threw her drink on your brand new dress in middle school. He was the one who was there for you when your first boyfriend cheated on you. He’s always been there for you.

God you were so in love with this man. Jungkook’s cheeks dusted pink and you laughed at the sight of his red ears as he gave you a rather shy smile, his hands seemed somewhat hesitant for a second before immediately wrapping around you, “I wouldn’t have if I knew you’d be wearing this dress,” Jungkook nipped at your ear making you giggle again, this time more shyly as you pressed your hands to your face.

His hands were so much bigger then you remembered and they fit so perfectly on your waist as he playfully squeezed your sides causing you to squeak, “Maybe we should just stay home instead. I doubt you’d complain about that.” Jungkook let his lips press against your neck coaxingly, as if hoping to you’d say yes.

You could feel your cheeks warm at his words as you pressed your hands on his chest, firmly pulling away as your lips quirked into a smile while looking up at your handsome boyfriend, “Or, how about we go out, and maybe I’ll give you something to look forward too when we get back home.” Your lips twisted into a smirk before pecking your boyfriends lips.

Jungkook looked like his brain had did a .exe crash as you patted his cheek before turning around to look for your heels. Jungkook wasn’t always this handsome, you couldn’t help but reminiscence. At the beginning of highschool he had an awkward bowl cut that you’d always make fun of him for looking like a coconut head and he hadn’t quite grown into his long limbs.

Gangly and awkward, that was Jeon Jungkook for a long time. You weren’t sure when he grew up, when he suddenly became not so awkward and a few years later and a hair cut and now he was the epitome of handsome. But it never went to his head no matter how many girls had chased him now in college. Quiet and introverted, your bestfriend who you were lucky to call your boyfriend.

If there was one regret you had, it was not being able to fully remember how your romantic relationship with Jungkook formed, but like always when you woke up in the back of his car, his beautiful doe eyes were panicked and wide, desperately searching your figure.

You didn’t even remember the nasty fall you had that caused the amnesia, but it didn’t matter now, you both were together and that’s what mattered. Your memories of Jungkook and your life were spotted at best. You could recall being depressed at prom by yourself and Jungkook offering to dance with you.

But you couldn’t remember the time in third grade when Jungkook convinced you to try and eat the green glitter that smelt like apples. You couldn’t help but feel somewhat incomplete, in wasn’t just your memories of Jungkook that hadn’t recovered, but other moments in your life revolving around your friends and family.

Jungkook would always hug you tight and kiss your head telling you that it didn’t make you less of a person and that they’d eventually come back. You truly didn’t deserve his love some days. After putting on your shoes you both left and headed for the nightclub.

Just as you anticipated on a saturday night the club was packed but you and Jungkook managed to get in. His body was closer to yours then necessary, his gaze sharp and hawk like to any guys that were potentially staring at you. It made you both smile and roll your eyes, looking back, he did always seem protective over you. Even when it didn’t make sense at the time.

Finding Seokjin and Namjoon you waved them over as you and Jungkook sat down at a table, “Oh god it’s busy tonight!” You remarked as they both sat down, Jungkook coolly sitting beside you, an arm wrapped around your shoulders as you smiled, “It’s good to finally meet you guys! Jungkook is always talking about you both.”

“Ditto, we’ve heard all about you,” Namjoon replied, a somewhat teasing smile quirked on his lips causing Jungkook’s face to flush as he shot him an embarrassed glare, “It’s good to match a face to a name!”

What you hadn’t expected was your bestfriend to have his own set of friends, you supposed it was expected, you and Jungkook weren’t as close anymore now that you were in college but now that you were together, you were excited to be more apart of his inner life again.

Even moreso you were excited that Jungkook shared the same sentiment. You were closer together now then you’d ever been before. It felt like your life was finally falling into place. You were happy with your major, you were working, you had the perfect boyfriend who just so happened to be your best friend. Life was great and every day you spent together you fell for him just a little bit more.

The night spent with his friends was a blast, Jungkook eventually relaxed once you all had a drink together and that bright bunny smile of his showed up with that cute dimple on his cheek and nose scrunch. Most importantly you loved when that smile was on you.

As if he was looking at his whole world, it made your stomach all mushy and filled with butterflies. Namjoon and Seokin eventually parted ways with you both as they had class in the morning that they couldn’t afford to miss so you were left alone with Jungkook. Not that you minded of course.

Just being out in public with him, even in a setting like this where music blared and people were packed together. You snuggled in close to him as you let your head rest against his shoulder with a small smile, “Tonight’s been fun.”

You couldn’t complain one bit, it had been a fun evening with Jungkook and his friends, but you wouldn’t lie you were getting tired and it was getting late, “Hey I’m gonna use the bathroom, you wanna head out afterwards?” You sat up a little straighter to look at Jungkook.

His expression was relaxed, soft even, his hand that had been wrapped around you was tenderly stroking through your hair, looking at you as if you were his whole world, as if he was looking at the love of his life, “I love you so much baby, you know that right?”

You sighed as your lips tugged into a giddy smile, your stomach always doing flips whenever he said those little words to you, rubbing your face shyly you mumbled, “Of course I know that. Why do you always have to act like I’m going to leave you when you say it?”

“I’m not...!” You glanced up in somewhat surprise at the way Jungkook’s tone jumped a little, as if semi guarded before he cleared his throat, sighing as he relaxed once more, somewhat hesitant as he mumured, “I just...I’ve loved you for so long. I still can’t believe you’re mine.” He whispered in your ear, a bunny grin widening on his lips as he squeezed your sides making you squeak, “Go use the bathroom. We can get some takeout on the way home, sound good?”

“Amazing,” You groaned as you stood up, stretching as you yawned, “I’m starving. I’m holding you too it Koo.” Jungkook leaned his head against his arm as you winked at him making him smile softly as he shook his head. You made your way to the bathroom before fixing your skirt in the mirror.

It was nearly eleven at night and while you could stay later there was nothing more you liked then the idea of getting cuddled up to Jungkook with some food and a movie before bed. You smiled at the idea as you washed your hands.

Tugging on your dress you made your way out of the bathroom, scanning over the crowd for Jungkook before making your way back to where your table was supposed to be. The later it was getting the busier this place was though, trying to cram through the crowd had been more difficult then you anticipated.

Without meaning too you completely smacked into a hard chest that nearly sent you fumbling as you gasped, “Oh my god! Sorry! I am so sorry!” The man managed to keep you steady as you heard him laugh.

“No it’s ok-...” He paused mid sentence as you pulled a little bit away from him to look up at the man, his pupils widened and his mouth gaped, his grip on you suddenly tightening as remorse washed over his features, “Oh my god! Y/n! Baby I’ve been so worried about about!”

You squeaked at his strong grip suddenly pulling you into a hug, burying his nose into the crook of your neck as you scrambled to try and push him away, “Um....! I-I’m sorry but I think you have the wrong person!”

“Y/n, please! Are you still mad at me,” He pulled away from you, gently cupping your cheeks as you swallowed thickly, his thick brows pinched together in worry as he pressed his forehead against your, “Please, come home. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. We can work things out. I know you were mad but please-”

“Y/n! Baby are you ready to go-” Jungkook paused as you turned to face him, his face looked pale before he suddenly glared, not at you but the man you was previously grabbed onto you, “We’re going.” Jungkook grabbed your arm pulling you away from him.

“Jungkook? What the fuck!” He hissed making you pause as Jungkook tried to tug you along, “How could you do this to me!? You said you hadn’t heard from Y/n in ages! Y-you’ve been what!? Hiding her? Y/n please, let’s go.”

You felt confusion wash over you as Jungkook grabbed your arm once more, this time pleading as he held your other hand, “Baby please, just ignore him, I’ll explain everything when we get home okay?”

“Baby!?” The other guy growled, his fists curling as he snapped, ‘That’s MY girlfriend! What the fuck do you think you’re doing calling my girlfriend baby and acting like you’re her boyfriend when you’re not!”

“Jungkook...what’s going on?” You mumbled, glancing between Jungkook who was glaring hard daggers at the guy before he sneered, “Taehyung, shut the fuck up. Don’t act like you ever loved her anyways. She is better off without you anyways, have a nice life but she won’t be with you in it.”

You gasped as Taehyung grabbed you, pulling you close, “Y/n what the hell!? I...I thought you loved me. You’re seriously going out with this loser now? Come on babygirl, tell me he’s lying. It’s always been us.”

“I...I’m...I’m sorry but I don’t know you...!” You pushed away from him, not liking his harsh touch on your skin and you didn’t understand the need in his eyes as they dilated, “Jungkook can we please go...!” You grabbed his hand, Jungkook’s chest puffing a little as he stood in front of you.

“Taehyung, stay the fuck out of my business.” Those were his last words hissed at Taehyung before lacing his fingers in yours and leading you through the crowd. The room was becoming suffocated and hard to breath....Taehyung...why did that name sound so familiar?

It was like it was on the tip of your tongue, but no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t think of anything besides your one fresh memory of the man who...Who...You suddenly stopped once you both made it outside, the air was cool against your skin and much needed as you yanked out of Jungkook’s grip, “Jungkook who- who was that! Why....why did he say he was my boyfriend!”

Jungkook whirled around, those beautiful doe eyes of his pleading as he grabbed your hands, “Look...I...I can explain everything just please. Y/n can we go home first?” His expression only made you more irritable as you yanked away from him.

“No...! No! I need to know, now! What are you not telling me! Who the hell is he!?” You glanced at him, lips parted and brows furrowed, feeling warier by the moment at your...Boyfriend...or at least that’s who you thought he was...

Jungkook stepped closer to you, his eyes looking glossed as he held out his hand, ‘Y/n...please...”

You couldn’t stop the mirthless laugh from escaping you as you ran a hand through your hair as you glanced away from him, “Were we ever in a relationship!? W-why can’t I remember him? Jungkook I need answers.” You glared at him harshly, feeling tears begin to well in your eyes.

Jungkook’s lips parted as they trembled before hanging his head in shame, closing his eyes as he felt the first tear escape. He knew this was going to happen, he knew it was only a matter of time. He just wished he hadn’t taken what time he had with you for granted, “...We weren’t together but I always did love you Y/n.” He glanced up meekly, his tears dripping down his face.

His gaze was met with your own tear stricken face, the first sob coming from you as you covered your mouth, “You lied to me?” This all started when you woke up in Jungkook’s car, his jacket around you. You...you couldn’t remember why you had been outside on that rainy day, you didn’t remember what had happened earlier that day. You

Just Jungkook’s concerned face, the old motel room and the dim lights that cast over his features, the way he cupped your cheeks before letting his lips press against yours in a heat of the moment, telling you how worried he was about you and how you could catch a cold. Had you gotten some form of amnesia. Were you walking in the rain that day because of....that man...Taehyung, your real boyfriend.

“Please Y/n,” Jungkook reached out, grabbing your arms before you could pull away, his hands desperately cupping your cheeks as he pushed the tears away, “It wasn’t all a lie. I still love you, I’ve always loved you. Please, you have to understand. You need to understand. He- he wasn’t good for you!”

Your eyes closed again as you let out a sniffle, tears trickling down your cheeks as you tried to push away his touch, it was so warm though and his eyes were blurred with tears that pained you despite this being his own fault, “You lied! You- you, you said we were in a relationship when we weren’t! You told me we had a falling out that day! How many memories have you lied about!? Jungkook I’ve had a boyfriend looking for me for how long? Six months!? How could you lie to me!? I thought...” You choked as you closed your eyes, shaking your head, Jungkook’s hands frantically pushing away tears, before pushing your hair from your face, “I thought this was real.”

Jungkook’s face was filled with absolute pain and remorse as he let his forehead rest against yours, tears trickling off that adorable button nose of his you used to nudge with your own, “It is real baby please. I still love you, god please. I’ve loved you since we were kids Y/n. I only did what I- I thought was best. I thought if you just gave me a chance-”

“You lied about half of my life!” You scoffed in disbelief, every word he spoke was like another blow to your heart as you finally pushed him away from you, running a hand through your hair as you wiped the tears that continued to trickle down your face, “About our life Jungkook. I don’t care what the reason for it was. You should’ve been honest with me! If you loved me that much you- you should’ve told me the truth!”

Jungkook’s lips parted as he stood there helplessly, tears trickling down his cheeks before he lowered his gaze, he deserved this. He did lie to you. It didn’t matter what excuse he had you were right, “I’m sorry Y/n. Just, please give me a chance. I can make this right. I won’t lie anymore. I-I’ll do anything please. I’ve just got you, I don’t want to lose you. Please.” Jungkook would get on his knee’s if he had too, he’d rot on this ground for all eternity if he had too. Anything to get you back.

You shook your head as you pressed your hands to your face, “I...I need to time. I need to see Taehyung, I need to remember again.”

“No! Y/n please!” Jungkook scrambled closer to you, pulling you into a hug, his arms locked around you as he buried into your hair, “Please, don’t go back to him! I need you, It’s always been you. God, baby please. I know I’ve fucked up, but please don’t go back in there, we- I can fix this.” Jungkook relented, you could feel your hair becoming wet with tears, fear gripping him just as much as he held you. Afraid that if he let go, it would be the last time he’d ever get to hold you.

“I’m sorry Jungkook.” You pulled away from him, distancing yourself from him as you sucked in a harsh breath, tears strained your cheeks as you shook your head, “But I need to figure things out on my own.” You didn’t give him a chance to reply. Turning around you opened the door to the club, feeling like you just ripped out your own heart. But you needed the truth, you needed all over it without Jungkook’s influence.

You couldn’t tell what was your memories and what were his lies. And you fell for it. Were your feelings for him real? They felt like it.

How could you fall in love with liar?

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader angst #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkook imagine #jungkook au #bts au

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galaxyofmyown · 4 years

Note

could u do a fic where reader is scared that hotch is cheating on them and hotch learns that its bc their past partners had cheated?

anon, i think i may scream. not because of your request (it is lovely and original and i like it). but i think my brain is bye-bye GONE. this took me like four days to write for literally no reason. so i’m writing this note to apologize in advance for errors or literally just bad writing. brain-machine say no. but PLEASE! feel free to send another request and i promise i will craft it as the gods crafted man (well, i’ll try). AHHHHHH. i hope you enjoy anyways!! :))))))

NOTE: I FINALLY MADE IT GENDER-NEUTRAL THOUGH AHAHAHA

aaron hotchner x reader - i know not

“Hey, baby,” Hotch says over the phone. It’s almost midnight and you’re alone in your bed once again.

“Hey, Aaron. How’s the case going?” You ask. You’re curled up under your clean sheets, freshly showered and in your favorite sleep clothes. But for some reason, you don’t feel comfortable at all.

“It’s… coming along. I should be home in a day or two.” He says. He sounds genuinely tired, and you trust this man with all of you, or at least you try to. Sometimes, though, you can’t help but get paranoid, the darker memories creeping in, clouding your vision.

“Okay. I love you.” You say softly.

“I love you more. And I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I understand.”

“You are extraordinary, (Y/N).”

“Ditto, Agent. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Love you.” He says again, easing your worry.

“Love you too. Stay safe.”

You plug in your phone and set it on your bedside table. Your room is lit only by one small lamp, and you stare at your ceiling. Your mind wanders even though you did not give it permission to do that. Usually, Hotch asks you to watch Jack part-time when he’s on a case, but in the last couple instances he assured you that Jessica could take care of him. It was probably nothing, but you couldn’t help but jump to a worst-case scenario. Were you getting cheated on again? Or was he about to break up with you?

No. Bad (Y/N). Stop.

But he was always so annoyingly vague about his cases. What if, and we’re just spitballing here, what if he isn’t even on a case when he says he is? What if he finishes the case, and rather than going home to you, he goes to some other person’s house?

You sit up in bed, suddenly wide awake. You know you’re being ridiculous, but you can’t help it. Aaron is a great guy. He loves you. He wouldn’t even cheat if he didn’t love you. He wouldn’t do that to anyone. You’re reaching for your phone before you can convince yourself not too.

“Hello?”

Just hearing Hotch’s voice makes you feel better.

“Hi. Sorry. I didn’t mean to call you.” You say.

“Are you sure? Is something wrong?” He asks, and his concern makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time.

“No, everything’s fine. Sorry again. Goodnight.” You hang up before he can probe more.

You sigh and walk to the kitchen to get a snack. You don’t think you’ll be getting much sleep tonight.

---

You wake up at 7:30 the next morning for work, your eyelids drooping and feet dragging. You make coffee in your biggest travel mug before heading out. Your day at the publishing house is slow and you think it’s a miracle it ends at all. You check your phone as you’re leaving the building and you see a text from Hotch.

Agent: Hey (Y/N). I’ll be home tonight around 8. Want to come over? Jack will be home and I know he misses you as much as I do.

You smile like an idiot and quickly respond that you’ll be there on the dot. You’re walking to your parking space when a familiar silver sedan passes you.

“I know not.” You say, your suspicions confirmed by the familiar license plate. You rush to your car before you start crying in the middle of the parking lot.

Why else would he lie to you and pretend he wasn’t back yet? Was he going to his place to meet someone right now? You start your car and pull out of the lot before you lose your nerve. You don’t know what you’ll say, but you have to confront him. You had your suspicions in your last relationship, but you ignored them. The only good that did was give you four more months of ignorant bliss before you realized you were being cheated on yet again.

You’re shaking by the time you pull up to his apartment building. You climb the stairs with the nervous anticipation you used to get as a kid when you had to get a shot. You have a moment's pause before you reach the door, your knock strong despite the weakness in your knees.

Hotch is still in his suit when he opens the door, but his tie is loose and his jacket is wrinkled.

“(Y/N). Wh-what are you doing here?” He asks, looking more confused than anything else.

“What are you doing here? You said you wouldn’t be back for hours. What am I supposed to think when you drive by me in your car when you’re meant to be four states over?”

Hotch still hasn’t opened the door enough for you to see inside, which all but confirms your worst fears.

“(Y/N), I can explain what-”

“Hotch,” You can’t call him Aaron right now, “Just tell me. Is there someone else?” You say, voice breaking. Aaron’s face can’t hide his emotions. His eyebrows furrow and he tilts his head up at you in that condescending way you hate.

“(Y/N). No. Why would you think that?” He says, but his voice isn’t reassuring. If anything, it’s angry.

“Can you blame me for feeling a little insecure, Hotch? You’ve been home three days out of the last two weeks. You don’t want me watching Jack in your apartment all of a sudden. You lie about whether or not you’re home? Is this the first time you came home without telling me, or is this something you’ve been doing. Do you laugh when I believe you?” You’re lashing out and you know it, but you can’t help the way your voice rises as you let out all of your pent-up feelings.

Hotch is silent, staring intently at your face. You know his profiling look, and this isn’t it. This is his boyfriend look. He’s concerned, but guarded, analyzing his best move. The amazing thing about Hotch, the thing you love about Hotch, is that he’s always determining the best move that will make you happy.

After a moment of tense quiet, he sighs in resignation and opens the door all the way.

His apartment is a mess. Clothes everywhere, dishes stacked in and around his sink, overflowing trash bags strewn about.

“Oh,” you say, tilting your head and willing yourself not to pass judgment, “hmm.”

Hotch looks sheepish.

“I, I’ve been having a tough couple of weeks. That’s why I lied about when I was getting back. I wanted some time to clean.” He says.

“You could’ve just told me.” You point out, and he nods.

“I know, I know, and I should have. I don’t know what I’m so afraid of. It’s just the thought of you thinking of me as weak…” He trails off, and your anger dissipates.

“Aaron, baby,” You say, taking his face in your hands, “I love you. I know who you are. You’re the strongest man I know. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to me for help. I would do anything for you.” You whisper your last statement, and yet it still carries the most force. Hotch leans into your touch.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I love you,” He pauses, at a loss for words, “I love you.”

You huff out a laugh.

“You already said that.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

You hug him, and he melts into your arms.

“I could’ve watched Jack at my place, you know. It doesn’t bother me at all.” You say, leading him over to the couch (and clearing off some clothes as you do so.). He rests his head in your lap.

“I didn’t want to ask that of you. You work a full-time job, and I know you didn’t sign up for being his babysitter-”

“Hey. No. When I started seeing you Jack became just as important part of my life as you are. I would drop everything for both of you.”

You notice Hotch’s eyes are getting red, and you stroke your hand through his hair.

“I adore you, (Y/N). You are absolutely amazing. And sometimes the thought of you leaving is so scary that I shut down.” He says.

“I get it. I just want you to know I’m all in.”

“I know you are. I am too.”

Both of you just sit there for a moment, basking in one another’s company.

“Speaking of scared,” you begin to say, and Hotch sits up to look at you, “I’m sorry I accused you of… you know, cheating.” You’re ashamed.

“I’m not mad. I’m sorry I was rude to you. I don’t blame you for not trusting me with how I’ve been acting lately.” He says, and you sigh in relief.

“Thank you. I’ve just had bad experiences, so it’s hard sometimes to not get worried.”

“Bad experiences? What do you mean?” Hotch asks, protective mode activated.

“My last three boyfriends all cheated on me.” You say quietly. Hotch stands up and paces back and forth past the coffee table a few times.

“Aaron?” You ask carefully. He stops when he hears your voice and the tenseness of his shoulders seems to melt away.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, returning to the couch, “how could anyone do that to you?” He asks, taking your hands in his. You don’t know how to respond, so he kisses your forehead.

“Listen to me,” he murmurs, “I would never, ever, in a million years do anything to hurt you like that. Never. You are my world.” He says. You nod, fighting back tears.

“I love you so much.” You say because it’s never enough.

“I love you more.” He responds. You shake your head. Impossible.

“Get up, then.” You say, hopping off the couch.

“Why?” He asks but gets up anyway.

“We’re cleaning. Both of us. And then we’re picking Jack up. Both of us. And then we’re making dinner. Both of us. Got it?”

Hotch smiles and picks up a trash bag.

“Got it.”

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #ssa hotchner #hotch #hotch x reader #hotch imagine

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