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grendelsmilf · 5 months

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my savior who came to ruin my life

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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months

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...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

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svnnysidez · 5 months

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wonbin nsfw alphabet?

a=aftercare: honestly, he doesnt do much, you do more for him then he does for you. you two cuddle afterwards but thats really it

b=body part: on you, your waist, god he loves your waist, his hands are always on it, always has an arm wrapped around it. whenever you're riding him his hands are always on your waist. on him, he likes his fingers, he loves to play guitar and his fingers are so strong from playing guitar, loves prodding at that spongey spot in your walls, his fingers so skilled at making you feel amazing.

c=cum: he loves to cum on your stomach, loves painting your pretty body with his cum (he ends up licking it all up)

d=dirty secret: whenever your out of the house and he gets needy he takes ur panties that you wore the most recent and fucks his fist using them 🤭

e=expirence: i'd say before you he probably had like 3-5 partners, but with them he didnt really do much but vanilla missionary sex with them. he knew how to please a girl before you but you taught him how to please you specifically he hes a fast learner yall 😏

f=favorite position: loves when you're on top of him !!

g=goofy: i'd say hes pretty funny, but he can be serious if he wants to be

h=hair: hes 100% shaved down, i wouldnt be suprised if he got waxed regularly

i=intimacy: can be intimate if its like a special occasion but he is more comfortable being a little sillier

j=jack off: even tho yall are having sex VERY regularly, he still jacks off, not as frequently as he used to, but he still does it a lot

k=kink: overstimulation but not on you, on him, he might pretend that he hates it, but GOD he loves when your hand is squeezing his cock hard making him cum 10x over without breaks,

l=location: just the bed, yall do too much when ur having sex to do it anywhere else

m=motivation: just anything, anything you do turns him on, with NO fail

n=no: he honestly says he would try anything once, doesnt have any limits

o=oral: LOVES giving and receiving, loves when hes making you feel so good and your hands are pulling his hair :(( and when your giving him head hes on cloud 9 😣 loves it so much, loves ur pretty mouth around his cock sucking him dry

p=pace: when hes on top he goes pretty fast but when you're riding him you go a little slower

q=quickie: hes iffy on them, it just depends on where and when, but sometimes he wants to take his time

r=risk: like i said before, hes always down to try anything once

s=stamina: he can go for SO long like its crazy how long wonbin lasts. can go for 8-9 rounds without getting tired

t=toys: loves getting toys involved, viberators, cock rings, butt plugs, the occasional dildo

u=unfair: he cant, cant tease you like at all, whatever you ask you get

v=volume: he gets so loud, whining, groaning, moaning, begging for you to go easier on him

w=wild card:

x=xray: hes pretty big probably around 6 1/2 to 7" i dont think hes that thick though

y=yearing: ALWAYS 24/7 hes always thinking abt it, always initiating stuff with you, again, like i said, he gets hard with like zero initiation from you

z=zzz: doesnt really sleep afterwards, like at all, he loves cuddling afterwards though!

#kpop #kpop smut #kpop x reader smut #riize smut #riize x reader #riize x reader smut #riize imagines #riize wonbin #wonbin smut #wonbin

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kristiliqua · 7 months

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im just thinking about wil’s stream today and how much it revealed abt q!wilbur’s character based off of his actions and behavior . help .

(TLDR at the end)

likeee . bro was so quick to draw conclusions , assume , and then put blame on others , despite have little to no information on literally anything abt the eggs’ disappearance . he was quick to blame everyone who was active on the server , saying that the eggs are still missing bc they “havent tried hard enough” and are just “doing nothing” , in terms of searching for them — all of which is untrue , but he says it as if its a fact anyway . even finding q!cellbit sus and not trusting him , despite knowing (again) little to nothing abt the guy , about his character and who he’s like as a person (that he cares a fuck ton abt the eggs and has been trying so hard to find any clues as to where they are) , the fact that he’s been gathering all the info he could ever since they disappeared (and before that , with other shit) . but he blames and finds him suspicious anyway .

he blames everyone else , when everything is and has been out of their control . they dont know much and Cant know much bc they know jack shit abt what could Actually be happening with the eggs . they only have theories and ideas

realistically , the thing q!wilbur should blame is ,, whoever or Whatever took the eggs away . but since he doesnt know wtf thatd be , its not as easy or assuring as it were to be if he blamed it on an actual Person or people he knows , instead of smth he doesnt know at all . its easier for his grief , to blame someone for the cause of it , to be angry and upset at someone . a physical person he can blame . and this irrational/illogical behavior is probably caused by the , yk . reasonably upset reaction that came with the bad news of his daughter being gone

plus the way he went to just ,, do it all by himself , despite the Very limited intel he had , saying that theyll never find the eggs if they just “follow the rules” (in his words) and all “do the same thing” . so he does it his own way , searching for any clues on anything , despite knowing practically nothing abt anything thats happened these past few months . even tho he knows that , logically , everyone else on the island probably has a bunch of info already , info that they could give him to help in his search (bc they all have the same goal in mind) . but instead he’s stubborn and doesnt want anybody else’s help , thinking theyre too incompetent and dont care enough abt the eggs — so he does it by himself , all up until someone reaches out to help him , rather than him asking for help himself (that someone being q!phil) . and in his attempts he ofc fails miserably , bc he Doesnt Know Anything . he has limited access to everything that could potentially be helpful (doesnt know where or what the order is and barely has any waypoints , only checking his and tallulah’s and the outside of phil’s house) , and so he’s basically working with fucking scraps . like itd literally be Impossible for him to find the eggs all by himself , he Needs the help from the others in order to make even a little bit of actual progress (so everyone thank q!phil for pulling up even after their little argument)

and logically (bc he isnt Stupid) , he probably Knows that . he knows that the others very likely care abt the eggs as much as he does (bc why would they all be gathering up for this mission thats For the eggs if they didnt .?) and have far more info than he could ever get by himself , bc he’s been gone for months and hasnt been caught up on anything of actual importance . but he was so upset and quick to blame everyone else (the mfs who could actually Help him and Know Shit) that he shut them off , going off by himself . esp after q!phil lashed out at him

anddd maybe there was a little spite or pettiness in there too , him wanting to prove that he can do it better than them , that he can get more than theyve ever gotten since they “didnt try hard enough” n all , and him finding shit out in a single day would be a huge testament to that idea . but ofc that didnt happen lmfao — he was practically playing a big guessing game with the info he had (or the lack thereof)

TLDR — i just find it interesting that q!wilbur was so quick to jump to conclusions and to push blame onto anyone and everyone he could , even tho he barely knows anyone on the island anymore . the way he went to take matters into his own hands , bc if theyre not gonna do anything abt it , then he will (,,, Not . bro was So lost)

just . what an interesting fella . what fun characterization . what a silly guy who is mourning the loss of his daughter (he is in denial)

#qsmp #qsmp wilbur #qsmp wilbur soot #q!wilbur #q!wilbur soot #qsmp rambles #wilbur mcyt #wilbur soot #big thoughts big thinks #reposted from twt btw . smile

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yb-cringe · 8 months

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alright wybie here's a free ask to talk my ear off about fitpac GO

this is like a trap isnt it ih gos ok yea

the thing that gets me abt fitpac is that its not that deep. and i dont mean that in an insulting way or that their impacts on one another arent expansive and hugely helpful but i mean it in that like. theres no catch. i love spiderbit for their complexity i love fitpac for their simple, slow, love

that by no means is me insinuating its not got its edges though. theyre just. sweet.

i think both of them have a lot of trauma when it comes to imprisonment and just general fear for their lives and while that could be said for a lot of people on the server i think whats important is that they’ve recognized that in each other? or at least fit has from what ive seen

and pac (and mike tbf) need a constant right now. things are crazy people are disappearinf theres no stability but they can always trust that fit will be there and he will listen and more importantly that he SEES them and will defend them

i think my thoughts abt them boil down to ‘pac needs consistency. a solid rock. he needs a recognizable pattern that doesnt change so he can have a safety net’ and ‘fit spent so long in survival he doesnt know how to just Live and he needs someone to be patient with him’

and its not easy for Either of them especially right fucking now. whats happened is that fit is trying to be the solid foundation for a bunch of people and its wearing him thin. and pac is just speedrunning traumas.

god the babysteps thing will forever be imprinted on the back of my eyes tho. like yeah fit needs to go rly fucking slow. hes a traumatized single father and hes fucking cautious about everything. always has been. letting someone into his life and giving them space in his heart is a big fucking deal. he just cannot afford to make that choice lightly. hell even ramón had to be patient for a bit

whats the fuckin saying like. fell first but he fell harder? wheres the ‘he fell first but didnt wanna think about it until he accepted it at which point he fell so fucking hard it would ruin him to lose it’ thats qfit. he literallt cannot even say the words date or romance or love or wven really Like in a romantic context about pac because shit will get too real and he needs to go slow rven if he has to FORCE HIMSELF to move slowly.

gkd i dont even know where to start with pac. he needs consistency so bad. and mike was that- mike IS that. pac is someone who needs company he needs someone to be near especially lately after his whole kidnapping thing where he was alone in that fuckin room after whatever they did to him—

hes been through so much shit and he just needs someone to stay- someone to turn to and know he’s got slmeone on his side. like pac in his own right is sort of paranoid —not the kind of way he has been recently though.

but like if you had to force tazercraft into designations of head and heart, pac would be the mind and mike would be the heart. pac is thinking ahead, he’s trying to force himself to move on because he knows mike wont, he’s trying to avoid doing things too crazy to keep them off the radar— he’s keeping them out of trouble when he can remember to.

not to say hes not chaotic and passionate in his own right but yknow. comparisons. but hes a thinker yjnow he plans for the future and if he doesnt have someone to be his safety net he fucking panics and doesnt do things he wants to because he’s worried about being caught out alone without any support

all of this to say that he doesnt Really think of romance more then Fun because he needs safety nets first. which is also kind of why the moving slow thing works for him because he’s definitely not going to realize how in deep he is like love wise until its too late. and he probablt cant even fuckin risk it right now considering yhh like Everything going on.

#sorry this ended up more as a character analysis and its so messy #i just have a lot of thoughts about them #long story short; gay men with ptsd love each other through recognition of the other and their flaws #and it makes my heart ache #qsmp liveblogging #asks

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oofuri2003 · 3 months

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Hanai transgenderism musings

I think trans readings of hanai's issue w his first name (azusa) are like the biggest easiest thing to latch onto for obvious reasons so might as well muse abt it. What we can gather is: Azusa is his first name, his mom named him, and he hates it. From what he says to tajima & nishihiro we can infer that he hates it bc it is traditionally a female/feminine given name.

In a transmasc reading it's easy to imagine "azusa" as his birth name/deadname, something he hates for being feminine or ill fitting, or bc of dysphoria, etc. If I was personally extending this you could imagine a hanai who has been dragging his feet on choosing a new name, too indecisive and perhaps too attached to "azusa", or worried about the social aspect of having to change it and tell people. OR too worried about changing it bc of his mom's obvious love for the name/she chose it and he has a v close relationship w her

I dont think a transfem reading of hanai from this is rly a stretch tho and it is my personal favorite of the two. Imo it fits his character p well: hanai is a person who fundamentally cares and stresses about how he is perceived, acting "normal" or "cool", and fulfilling his role, whatever that may be in the moment (as a son, a student, a captain, a cleanup hitter, etc).

To me a transfem read of hanai goes like this: as a young kid, he actually has no issue w his given name. Maybe he even likes it (likes that its fem, likes it bc his mom chose it and theyre v close, etc). Upon entering elementary school, he becomes aware that he has a "female" given name, and you can imagine that this is perceived as worthy of mockery by peers (I'm thinking similar to what happens to haruka from free). Hanai internalizes this - having a girl name, as a boy, is bad and worthy of derision. In my read of this his internalization of this fact causes him to become secretive and averse to being called azusa by others (notably, in canon, he seems unbothered by his sisters using his first name at home, and only bothered by his mom doing it in public). Even if he personally likes his own name, and in this read maybe even really likes that its a feminine given name, he has to keep up acting like he hates it, because that is what he is supposed to do. Boys are supposed to hate being named girly things. Being comfortable with his given name might give something away, or make him seem like there is smth "wrong" w him, bc he doesnt feel the "right" way about it. And, notably, he can avoid having to even broach any of that by just not sharing it in the first place.

Idt its hard to imagine hanai overthinking himself into this hole but also more broadly overthinking and rationalizing his own dysphoria which makes trans hcs for him so salient and fun to think about imo

#ig i accidentally posted it instead of saving it as a draft. whatever 6 am musings be upon ye i guess 😭

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tillman · 1 year

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Embarrassed asking this bc I've been following for a hot minute now and still don't know anything haha--where would I start if I were to look into reading abt Lancelot and Galehaut?

NO ITS OK LOL medieval lit is fucking insane especially getting into it with no background here is my brief spiel: <- said before i ended up typing 800 words. sorry.

medieval lit is complex and extremely hard to approach. let alone that most translations work under the assumption the only people to ever read them would be academics with a background in medieval lit, getting into and reading it is a challenge. if u have an interest and dont want to have to brave one of the longest and most complex stories written in medieval french and translated by many many people into english, im happy to say the story of galehaut and lancelot has enough influence to have a pretty decent modern english retelling of the main beats in Lancelot and the Lord of the Distant Isles. (my pdf here, tho copies are really easy to find in bookstores and stuff this is only from 2007). It takes the main story of the vulgate and condenses it down to focus on just the love story of galehaut and lancelot. its pretty fun. the liberties it takes are slight and work for telling a coherent story.

Now, if you have read it, or want the real Galehaut experience, heres whats up, medieval texts and modern poems undercut:

Galehaut is in 5. i think maybe 6 medieval stories total. youre in for a treat as this is maybe the shortest "i want to get into arthuriana and i like this character where do i start?!" list possible besides like. drian the gay. or some other fucking nobody.

The main one, again, is the Vulgate Cycle. This is the main old french tale that inspired a looot of other arthurian works all over Europe. Its huge. Im not done scanning it BUT, i am done scanning the section Galehaut appears in, the beginning, because i got depressed after that lol. (Heres my scan of part 1, part 2 is on my website im too lazy to get both links).

From there, you got the most detailed explanation of the story of Galehaut, and can read the more fun shit and whacky shit with him and Lancelot in it YAY. Heres what i got pdfed on me rn:

Biggest one to note is he has a side role in Thomas Malory's Le Morte D'Arthur. Nothing huge, and they do mix him up with Galahad at one point? but hes there. No one should read the original text its such a slog so heres Keith Baines awesome rendition

In other bad middle english texts, Lancelot of the Laik Book 3 has Galehaut, but its unfinished and also. only in middle english. fun footnote, dont read it. one day ill post my translation of book 3 alone LOL.

Short and sweet Galehaut is in The Old Knight, the greek text we have. he tries to fight for palamides and lancelot and tristan then try to fight for him. its cute. the old knight is an odd little thing just had to bring it up LOL (had to download a pdf for this one the site i read the article on before doesnt seem to be up.... just scroll to the bottom!) <- thisll be up on my website soon i forgot it i guess

Now for the funniest reveal: Galehaut plays more of a role in Tristania than Arthuriana most of the time (well. the arthurian branch of tristania im not getting into this rn). Why is Galehaut and Lancelots relationship expanded upon only here? only god can answer that.

Here is the Tavola Ritonda. Its one of the oddest texts i know of. Medieval italian. Very Very brutal. BUT. has some really interesting Galehaut takes and moments hidden in the . whatever is happening in this fucking text. its long as hell but mentioning for fun. (pdfff)

aand more interestingly. Here is the Belarussian translation of that. Which is even fucking weirder. mostly different plot, still has lots of really cute galehaut moments including the bit he asks tristan to join his and lancelots marriage. oh well i love the povest. (and heres that pdf)

Now. this is the wild card round. Heres the weird shit and the Hovey.

If you can brave French. modern french not old dont worry, Pierre Sala has Tristan et Lancelot. an exceptionally fucking weird story. Galehaut does make a slight appearance but mostly, keyley, funnierly, his evil german cousin is a recurring villain for a few chapters. its weird. its fun. its french. (pdf)

and finally. this one is on its own level, here is my dedication to Richard Hovey. one of the greatest poets of 1885 or whenever he wrote his arthurian stuff. He was gay. he famously called himself the american oscar wilde (and maybe met him at a party? one time we found a source saying they made out at a party.). and he wrote one of the only poems featuring galehaut i know.

well ok its a collection of dramas. and galehaut is not the focus. but he is a main character and he is insane. I recommend reading literally all his works hes a fucking amazing poet, you can even find his other poetry online easily. but heres his list of works on the camelot project. oh my god read richard hovey. please . hes my favorite poet.

#i have autism of the brain.

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wc-confessions · 1 year

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idk much about lockandkeyhyena or whatever, the art sorta rang a bell. Buuut whats with the anon continually bringing up “bad stuff” that feels flimsy at best?? Bruh why are you trying so hard. Feels like they’re trying to do something. Cool your jets bro, ur coming off super obvious LOL

someone made a mini callout post and he acknowledged it. while i understand being upset about the bi lesbian thing with its history etc (although i dont find it rlly serious enough to include in the same category with stuff like endorsing pedophilia. then esp since his stance is p just over with arguing which i completely get.), the remainder of the doc is just a huge reach. since yk you can't expect someone to know everything and everyone in this fandom heck i didnt even know some of the biggest artists on here were pedos and whatever until i made this blog. liking a post doesnt. really mean anything esp since no one wouldve known from those pics alone the person was a creep. idrk what to say abotu the invader zim stuff tho lol bc i dont know the context of tht pic (and vasquez has said zim is not a child and i saw tht was him so ig its not too much of a deal?)

but like anyway this person is like what a year or two behind me and i find it so weird full adults are so desperate to make them out to be a bad, problematic person. without knowing anything abt him or the story. i dont think that should be done to anyone esp not like some random teen on the internet. i feel like adults on here, if they're concerned, should talk to kids regarding these things instead of treating it like a kid is automatically never capable of change. its just weird behaviour af yeah. like i dont expect ppl to play parent but at least be a better figure to younger fans. but what can you expect from this fandom

#also hes my mutual in law did not know that #not a confession #text #asks #anonymous #ask to tag #but yea u can be worried but. look into a situation #before making claims #esp when theres some kid involved #not trying to baby him but like come the fuck on

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curiouskurona · 2 years

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Regarding your last post, who would you say IS the type to ghost? V.S who wouldn't?

DJKXJQKFLVLA okay so . bear with me here

riddle : would never ghost ( unless there was som kind of rule abt it ?? doubtful tho lol ) . is straightforward n 2 tha point , also isnt afraid 2 call ppl out so he wont feel tha need to ghost instead of telling u whats up

cater : oh man . maybe ?? honestly i dont hav a great grasp on his character ( @ twst give us moar cater content plz ) but i can see him both ghosting and being ghosted w equal frequency

trey : yes . 100% yes sorry . i feel liek i dont even need 2 explain this one but * looks at how he just let riddle do whatever he wanted instead of confronting him for years * . no trey slander but also kind of a lil trey slander ( I DONT HATE HIM THO LOL JCKAJLFLGLA )

ace : oh 100% he would . hes not a serial ghoster but he has and he will again . not bc hes adverse to confrontation , hes just kind of inconsiderate / he can b oblivious to other ppls feelings ( NO ACE HATE IM AN ACE APLOGIST HES FUNNIE )

deuce : no . he wants to , but no . he would definitely force himself to communicate and either air his grievances or tell them hes not interested in talking anymoar . hes trying to better himself . what would an honorable honor student do ,, not ghost ppl thts for sure

leona : yes 100% absolutely but only bc hes so lazy / he sleeps all day . he cant be bothered to spend any moar energy on a conversation that bores / annoys him . unless ur a girl / woman . and i dont mean that in a womanizer way i mean that in a leona chugs respect women juice all day long way . so hed maek ruggie type out what he wants to say n then go back 2 bed

ruggie : yes but only bc hes so busy taeking care of leona that he probs forgot / doesnt hav tiem 2 respond . actually he might ghost genuinely but only if ur liek . maeking him uncomfortable

jack : NO it wouldnt be right !! he respects ppl too much to leave them hanging liek that , it would be rude . and even if he doesnt liek / respect you , its tha principle of tha matter . why would he stoop so low as to be petty n passive agressive by not responding , he'll just tell you straight out if hes got a problem

azul : hm . this one is a hard one ngl ? i think no bc who is he to burn bridges , yanno ? he lieks having connections n shite im sure . but also i can see him being our smug lil capitalist liek " hi sorry i cant hear u i was too busy counting my money " also hes probably a lil lonley tho so . why would he ghost you unless u were being rlly mean or smth

floyd : yes bc he thinks its funnie / he wants 2 get a reaction outta you fjkvHAKFLVLLVLA . he regularly leaves riddle on read so he can provoke riddle into stompin over to yell at him , actually . and if u nevr respond / give him a reaction he'll probably end up forgetting to respond anyways ( unless he lieks you / is on an up moodswing )

jade : hm . no , because he really enjoys playing out that whole sebastian michealis thing . oh hes too much of a gentleman for that , you know ,, stares @ u liek this ^___^

kalim : NO NO WAY he loves to talk he loves to maek friends !! well actually he might ghost accidentally if he forgets but hes SUPER apologetic about it ówò he will send flowers n jewelry n stuff to maek up for it

jamil : yes 100% . again not a serial ghoster but can and will if he doesnt liek you . he will pretend he is too busy to respond but rlly he is looking @ u liek this -_-

vil : yes , he would . hes a very busy boy , but also hes not above ghosting ppl if he feels liek he doesnt want to waste his precious tiem talking to potatoes who dont event get what hes trying to say . actually i taek that back he would purrobably tell you the above b4 he stops responding . he would also ghost tho

rook : you wish

epel : no , as i stated in my last post . he just isnt tha type . he'll say what needs 2 be said , just ignoring his problems until they go away isnt his style , he aint gonna wuss out n he aint gonna beat around tha bush . he grew up with a ton of old folks , he probably doesnt get or have an interest in highschool drama , just communicate w him damnit

idia : yes are you fucking kidding me

ortho : this is a child . a kind of lonely child . he should be playing neopets idk how to answer this question . no ?? maybe ?? hes normal ig

malleus : yes absolutely but only bc his concept of tiem is wack and he genuinely wont realize its been ages since he responded . is devastated wen he finds out

lilia : no not really . hes pretty witty and finds most things amusing , i figure he can always respond to whatever you throw at him and he wont really feel tha need 2 ghost . if u maek him mad he might threaten you or smth n stop responding but nah he wont rlly ghost

silver : another obvious yes , bc he WILL fall asleep . constantly leaving you on read but isnt tha type to long term ghost / cut contact , unless he liek . keeps putting it [ responding ] off and always falls asleep b4 he can . next tiem for sure tho ,, right ?

sebek : are you malleus ? no ? blocked . JDKLVLSLLFLVLA okay but srsly tho . probably yes unless ur a classmate n yall r askin abt tha homework n stuff . hes not really interested in being social outside of diasomnia as far as i can tell , but what do i know , i havent rlly gotten into his character much

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enbiart · 1 year

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ok i sent this b4 but you cleared out your inbox but that's okay! im glad you take steps to rid yourself of stress /gen

but you really are one of THE people that completely GET Kel, so i want to ask... what if he was in Aubrey's place. No Hero, all alone, no friends to be there when he was mourning, disastrous family, father leaving, the whole gig...

Basically, what if someone like Kel, with his character and personality, was put in Aubrey's position during those 4 years? What would he have gone through and how would he cope?

ok so like. i LOVE delinquent kel with a passion. let him GO OFF. realistically tho?? it would probably take someone antagonizing him first (and really hard) for him to take his frustrations off on other ppl. whereas aubrey, even as a kid, was really headstrong and pushy with a strong sense of justice (which, yknow, turns her to lash out at the world at the injustice of Everything Thats Ever Happened To Her) kel is a lot more..laid back. he'll whine and complain, but at the end of the day, whatevers happened happened. hes p gullible too. his sense of justice is moreso towards other ppl than himself, so if hes got NO support and some Bad Stuff Happens, he just kinda.... scoots around it. mentally. if that makes sense. its all over with and he cant change it, and no one else is bothered, so why address it?

the thing with kel is that he is really good at keeping distracted and occupied. hes good at covering stuff up. he likes to focus on other people to distract them from himself. u know that one kid in class that everyone likes but, like, no one even knows their favorite color? thatd be him. he lends u pencils if u ask and doesnt remind u to give it back. he shows u how to dribble a ball if he sees u struggling. if he says hi to anyone they will always say hi back. he fits into all the social circles!!!

...he just doesnt stay with any. not in a bad way i wouldnt think, hes not, like, flaking on anyone. but u wouldnt rly be suprised if he decided not to come to ur bday party, yknow, and ur not THAT torn up abt it either. its p well known that he prefers basketball to people, but also that hes too nice to straight up ask you to leave.

a well-liked misfit. doesnt rly talk abt himself and no one knows him too well, but ppl talk to him casually. a LOT of ppl. the gas station regular of everyones hearts.

i dont really think he'd hold much of a grudge against ppl for abandoning him, he's just...not a grudge person. if he gets angry its a one and done kinda thing. he would have a LOT of trouble letting them support him again. nothing against them, but like, he's got it handled, okay? (spoiler alert: he does NOT have it handled)

these arent well organized thoughts bc its ummmmm actually been awhile since i had omori brainrot 😔 but i did my best

#also so sorry this took so long my guy 😭😭😭#my art #omori

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butchviking · 1 year

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dysphoria is a bastard. i hate it. coping tips?

ok first off. i am not coping

i mean theres all the usual. get strong, see your body as something useful to you and AS you, rather than something to look at. sometimes introspection helps, like ok WHY do i feel this way abt this part of my body and is there anything i can do to counteract that. but tbh sometimes u just hit a wall w that like. ok well i figured out WHY i feel like shit. doesnt do much 2 change it tho. idk everyone is different and everyone’s dysphoria is different and these are things ppl always say have helped them. but i will b totally honest they’ve never done more than placate mine for a short while until it rears its head from some other corner i wasn’t looking at.

the most helpful advice i ever heard is about letting dysphoria come & go. let it pulse in & pulse out. don't do that thing where you let it build up inside you bc its familiar or bc u want to dwell or bc u have smthn to prove or whatever. which i truly think is the best advice for any mental illness nd is the absolute best way i’ve learned 2 cope w my other issues too. life has ups & downs illness has ups & downs and sometimes u gotta just roll w that u cant fight it. some times will suck and other times will not suck so bad and maybe sometimes u even forget its there at all for a little moment! it’s nice to think ‘i know we can get well’ its nice to think someday u will magically overcome all ur issues but for myself at least i think it’s healthier to acknowledge that. some things dont just go away some things are with you for a long long time or even for your entire life. and there’s not much u can do about that except find a way to live with it.

i think personally i took a hard turn a few years go from being trans & embracing the dysphoria & letting it get so big & ugly bc i’d tied my identity into it, to like. finding gendercrit theory, questioning the reasons for my dysphoria, doing some work to alleviate it somewhat, feeling a bit better for a while and thinking oh! looks like i fixed it! i don’t even feel that bad anymore! self-undiagnosing im fine now!! :) which is. one of the dumbest things i couldve done bc then when it DID start 2 rear its head again i was just pushing it down nd being like ‘no we dont indulge that anymore :) im fine im normal now :)’ as though u can just make a mental illness go away if u try real hard and believe in urself. so u gotta not let it build up inside u into a big ugly thing, not indulge it & become friends w it but also acknowledge when it is there and don’t think u can just magic it away. let it ebb & flow let it pulse thru you and then let it go.

#once again tho i am not necessarily the best source of advice bc i am not coping the best rn.#im having a rough patch for sure but im holdin on nd hopefully it'll ease up soon. everything blances out in the end right?#ask #anonymous

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idyllic-affections · 8 months

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🌻 its cruel of anyone to push someone away from their own culture just cuz they dont fit the "standards" or whatever other shit 💔 ohhh u dont know the language— stfu first of all learning a language is hard. im bilingual and its hard for ME to learn any other language. i had german and spanish in school and i simply could not learn any of them and same goes for any other language i tried to learn on my own!! i learned nothing in the end even tho ive been learning english since first primary, meaning i already should have some experience in learning a new language. but i dont. and second of all no one should ever demand proof from anyone that they are a part of this culture or whatever like!!

it’s not only annoying but also fucked up that people have the sheer audacity to set stupid requirements for OTHER PEOPLE'S identity. one's identity can be so hard and sensitive of a topic and having someone try to police u in this matter, try to tell u that no sorry u dont know the language/culture so u cant call urself that— i genuinely have no respect for people who act like this

and third of all idk man if someone came to me and said "hi i want to learn more about poland and the culture because i have polish family" (because suurprise!! im polish too!!!!) id be more than happy to tell them everything i know. even if i might not be the best knowledge source AHAJSJDKDK they dont know polish? or anything abt poland?? they just learned their family is polish??? it simply doesnt matter this person wants to learn more about themselves and im more than happy to cheer on them and hope that theyll learn everything they want. and that theyll never feel excluded out of something they deserve to have place in

this got a little long but as u can tell i got very passionate about this topic 😭😭😭 it annoys me so hard how unhuman some people can be

SOO TRUE it's so invalidating ESPECIALLYYYYY when it's always other latino or hispanic people telling me. bro please. i am doing my best here 🙏🙏

i tried for years to learn spanish and it NEVER clicked in my brain. i know basic spanish and basic french (i had to take a foreign language class a few years back so i took french 1) that's it. Please. learning a language takes so much practice and patience and the issue with learning spanish is that my pronounciation will inherently be more "white" because erm. yeahh. english is the only language i've ever spoken fluently. and for some reason, there are many native spanish speakers think it's funny to make fun of mispronounciations? so now i'm scared to practice because of that. 🫶 it's not cute or funny and it's never been in intended an affectionate way. but i am also mentally ill and neurodivergent so that probably doesn't help AJKSFBJSLSHNFM idk man but it is NOT "all in good fun" it's EMBARRASSING!!!!!

IT'S GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATING why should i have to prove my ancestry to you? like. first of all that's really none of your business and second of all i literally do not have to prove anything?!?!?!?! no-one does?!?!?!?! no-one is somehow any less of their heritage simply because they don't know much about it. literally. it is so upsetting why can we not just let people live peacefully fr.

SOOO REALL i need to ask about it again because my maternal family is generally very open about this kind of thing, and it's easy to communicate with them because there is no language barrier between us. i would love to know more about myself. because my culture is something i deserve to have a part in, you know? it's literally in my blood. it is something i always was and always will be, and i feel like i have a right to want to learn about it.

nooo it's okay!!!! i completely get it. i feel like it's becoming very common for people to be less and less human. and it makes sense, given... you know. politics and everything lately. not to be political /lh but there is just a little too much hate being spread and i dislike that so much. many people have forgotten how to be kind and it's just???? very sad and upsetting.

#aphelion replies: 🌻 anon 🌸

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foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland · 9 months

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Hiiii im gonan sleeps oon but i want you alllll to know ur all myf rieds .... even tho i onyl talk 2 like 3 of you .... we are allllfriends everyone who sees this is my friend everyone whk sees my posts we are ...f riends. Also if u want me to make a list plssss do j liek makign lists ... and. Stuff. Especially whe tbehre jrwi related. Get me to make a, list and ill doit, . I can even make a list of. So kuch. Colours. Leaves. Flowers. Cloud formations. Rock formations eventho i dint know much abt them. Lists and lists sooo mny lists. Im the list man. I also like making intelligable diagrams in...mspaint. butnyea. Any list i can do 4 you. Psl ask me to make lists pslsplsplsllls i love listing thing

s. I will even list top 10 characters in ur url and why. Or assign colours to posts. Or. Assigning colours to things is fun. Also textures. Im very autistic just oike the rest of this webbed site but i rpomsie i will make so manh lists forever and ever and ever. Top 10s r hard tho when im not given examples. I cant do top 10 words in the english language bc i have a bad memroy and i fprgot what words we have. But if u give me a group of words i can list them for you. Anhthign. List.... s ar efun. Very fu .n

Goodnight now tho ill list in the mornigng. Top 10 things to do:

1. Sleep

2. Cat

3. Cat is jow a thing u ca n do

4. Friends :3<33333333

.5.t he humber 3. Irs very versatile

6 . Making art with ur hands or mind or voice or your you.

7. Chilling foreber and breaking rj,ez (the rules are thwt you need to do things)(they are lying do whtever you want foreber and do mtohjng ever and go awya)

8. Firiends

9. Eatign

10. Drinjgn beverages. And waye.r thats a beverage

Also. A list of. Things i am allergic to:

1. I thinks tmh in makeup remover.

2. We dont knwom tho

.3 maybe kiwi. Ive never had it. Mt grandmas allergic to kiwi

4. Also maybe bee stings ivenever been stung bh a bee so idk.

. 5. Erm., shcool. Blwo it up FOREVER ?!!!! NOw. And then we will all be happy

And finally a list of genders i am:

1. a girlieeeeee a girllllll yippeeee teeheeee girliesssss <33333 :33333

2. Simply a guy a dude a bro a dudebroguy but a Scared one. Who doesnt know the rules.

3. A girllbrooooo but a scared one still. Who is sexy to some people and cringe to others. But is sevretly sexy to them too

4. Whatever fits jn with whoever i am arounddd <3333 we are guyss having boys night no girls allowed we are girliesss having girlsss nightttt teehee no boyzzz.

5. Minecraft ost

6. Will woods albums mINUS THE ONE THAT CAME OUT WHEN I WAS IN FRANCE. THAT ONE SOUNDED GOOD BUT KY FRANCE TRIP SUCKED. All th3 others r me tho.

7. Tank tops and alsl skirts and also graphic tees

8. Timothy rand

9. Dude what if i used he/she pronouns how wicked would that be. Only on here tho anywhere else theyd skin me alive

10. Aall my punctuation in sentences like. Dude bro man omg sick woag wtf like ... wicked sick. Wicked sicked. Wick sick. Candlestick. Gonna dtart saying smoly hokes.

11. Smth that pisses off everyone at school sooooooooo much they hate me sooooo mcuh they are huntjng me for sport i dropped out of sport bc they hated my ass too much.

12. A kitty cat

#night thoughts

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heartof-kings · 2 years

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SORRY YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS BUT I REALLY LIKE YOUR TAKE ON REMUS SO IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE OPINIONS FOR THE MEME ON THE OTHER SIDES.....👀

JDHXPYDOEJDIXHSA FOAMING AT THE MOUTH THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE THE SIDES

LOGAN

hooooly shit the ESSAYS i have written to my friends abt logan and how much i love him and how hes treated SO SHITTY by the other sides and the fandom and deserves more and im SO EXCITED FOR WHERE HIS CHARACTER IS GOING he is me and i would take him on the best dates to museums and let him tell me everything he knew abt whatever is on display

JANUS

ALSO DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER OH MY GOD he tries so hard to help but bc his advice doesnt pass The Catholic Test the others wont let him help and im fkdgsoabfjsAAAAGAH CHONPING also his dynamic with Roman is OS GOOD and i want to see more of them interacting AND i need to see him interact eith logan anf remus more they are all besties, lovers even.

VIRGIL

virgil is another nuanced character a GOOD character, that has made a few too many mistakes for me personally to like right now but i think he is definitely going to change and improve in the future and i cant wait for that. also gets done dirty by the fandom. i occasionally brainrot abt his possible connection to janus and remus and also his relationship to logan bc theyre such a good duo, bounce very well off each other. same with roman actually but that ine is so popular in the fandom yknow thats already appreciated. i also think abt how HE has been don dirty by the other characters too tho, especially patton.

PATTON (THIS IS /NEG FEEL FREE TO SKIP)

IIIII FUCKING HATE PATTON. okay so. his actual in canon character has many flaws that make me actively dislike him but hes such a good and nuanced character qmd the fandom does not appreciate that. they always boild him down to the happy father. wjen hes SO MUCH MORE. i indulge in u!patton content myself just bc thats how i like to interpret him out of canon but in canon he has potential to realize his faults and grow and we see him start that with janus. excited to see where his character is going. he better apologize to all the others eventually tho 😤

#logan sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #patton critical #patton hate #unsympathetic patton #fandom critical #excuse my typos i have brainrot #ask game

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magnoliamyrrh · 1 year

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Thank you for talking about all this even through it's uncomfortable. I'm from the Balkans too and I went through some similar things, but I did not know it was such a common experience until I read the other anons and your experiences. I have never really told anyone about it and I still have hard time knowing how to feel, but I think what my Aunt did technically count as being molested? When I was still rather young she would "play" with me down there often and it would always feel overwhelming and too much. It has always made me feel odd looking back at it, and it disturb me to realize that she probably made me orgasm, but because it was not forced or painful and she was nice and because it was normalized for family to grope and sexualize in general I never complained or knew it was wrong and I have never known if it counts as actually being abused or not. But I guess... I am starting to realize that was not really normal

hey <3 yea, of course. i think its helpful to talk abt this shit for once, this culture of silence and shame and normalization doesnt seem to have rly helped any of us. thank you for sending this too

no its.. its definitely not normal, and im sorry you went through any of this anon <3 v much sending u a hug. we have just... for sure normalized a certain level and kind of pedophilia and incest in the balkans, particularly with young children, and its... really fucking weird. i totally get what you mean, i grew up w a v similar thing for years, and its v confusing and conflicting to grow up and realize it.. wasnt ok..this whole thing w messing around w little kids like that in the open and noone seeming to have any issue w it whatsoever bc they find it cute or endearing or playful or harmless or whatever the hell is just. really fucking weird. really weird. i still have a rather hard time trying to wrap my head around it bc i just.... really don't fucking get it ?? ive never been around a kid and thought oh yea hey you know what would be cute. doing that. and yet somehow this was just. fine???

and i know what you mean. often when you think of abuse or csa you think of something that is traumatic and violent and forced and leaves you feeling scared and violated and... its real odd when its not like that, and when it was just kinda a normalized thing that didnt necessarly seem bad or unpleasant or unwanted or traumatizing in the usual sense, tho personally i do think it definitely fucked me up. i think it makes it harder to know how the hell to feel about it, or how to feel about these people frankly.... i really dont know what to make of them. is this pedophilic behavior? yes...? do i think theyre pedophiles......???? yes? no? both? i have no idea, it doesnt seem like the sort of thing they do to get themselves off but rather bc its just.. normal to them and a normal way to show affection even though it is most fucking definitely not, and its definitely abusive. ..... I don't know. it really is all such a confusing entangeled mess, and I still cant believe weve somehow reached the point culturally where this stuff is just so normalized. im sorry again that uve been through this too anon im wishing u all the best and may you find some peace with all of this <3

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strawberryseeded · 2 months

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..,

oh man..sighs.....ok so im kinda worried abt sum of my piercings.. ://

sooooo. ive been paranoid abt my eyebrow piercing rejecting 4 a whiiile now..n while tbh it doesnt rly seem 2 be that case..? 1 of the holes is just constantly slightly irritated. also ive been feeling discontent abt the way it was pierced also 4 a while; i prefer snug jewerly 4 eyebrow piercings n, bc of the way mine was done, even w the smallest curves barbell ucan still see quite a bit of the metal hanging and uggghhh i love my eyebrow piercing 2 death but im just not that into that specific look..ive been looking 4 smaller jewelry (even custom 1s) since 4ever n ive had no luck:((( im seriously considering retiring the piercing n getting it redone. but im scared the scarring wud be too visible this time since i think they wud be piercing it a bit wider(?) this time, not in the same place like the last time i repierced it. i shud prob see a dermathologist 4 dat -_-;;

THEN.. my ears. they do not plague my mind as much as the eyebrow piercing lol BUUUT all the lobes + helixes r taking 4EVEEEER 2 heal its such a pain!!!!! lol dhdhdhh the issue is p much solely when i lay down. if im laying down 4 a long time while pressing down on one of the piercings w/o notices they swell up like crazy. a warm shower + saline soaks help a TON but its just....annoying lol. sometimes after i wake up from a nap or yanno just sleeping i realize not only my neck is sore from trying so hard not 2 sleep on my sides, my ears r sore as well -_- n i just cant help but think god again???? all this pain 4 naught!!(dramatic) why am i even enduring this??? I just wanna sleep peacefully!!! T-T honestly i think a big part of the issue is the fact that i pierced both my ears when the last i had pierced wasnt fully healed (i thought it was even tho only 3 months had passed..silly). tbh its one of those mistakes that ppl on the internet n reddit threads constantly warn u abt but u dont realize just how truly annoying n detrimental 2 the healing it is until u actually make the mistake. when i think its all good one of the piercings starts acting up. when that 1 calms down, another 1 gets irritated. when that 1 is under control, one of the stupid little jewelry balls gets unscrewed n i lose it and dude im out of the little balls do i just put a ring?? MISTAKE. well.

ok whatever hdgdgdh just wanted 2 rant. im planning 2 go to the piercer next month 2 mainly ask abt the eyebrow piercing ..n maybe if im feeling masochistic & since its my bd monthhh.......get another 1 🤡

#di4ry #this is so boring jddshjj i just wanted 2 vent 4 a bit

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