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underthetree845 · 5 months

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Alrighty April, can you write a yandere! Chuuya x reader fanfic (hcs or oneshots whatevers easier) where reader is single (More of a hopeless romantic type thing) and she's talking and laughing with Dazai? Maybe Dazai will hold your hand or something and he snaps. Maybe he could like kidnap you, or kill dazai, or something? Idk, I'm just trying to give you ideas, do whatever you want with this request :)

Hey! I know this took me awhile to answer, I just had some other things I needed to push out of my drafts first, so I do apologize :') I'm going to tag you just to make sure you see this: @a-random-weeb And please let me know what you think!

(As previously stated) I have never written yandere content before, and I don't feel comfortable writing anything too dark, so I did my best with this. It might come off as a little more jealous/possessive, but I stuck to the prompt.

Dogs Are Better

Chuuya/Reader (oneshot request)

Cws: gn! reader, jealousy, yandere if you squint, reader is a dog person (it makes sense later I promise), dazai getting beat up (by chuuya), possessive! chuuya, unhealthy possessiveness, chuuya does genuinely care, implications of stalking, alcohol, drinking, slightly tipsy reader, reader gets a hangover, overly trusting reader, kind of kidnapping?

About 2.7k words

Summary: Chuuya is already overly protective of you, how would he react if someone threatened to take you away?

A/n: Please note, I did my best to altar their roles and limitations to fit the prompt, but this is not necessarily how I ultimately view Dazai and Chuuya as characters! Also- in case it's unclear- Dolcetto is a type of red wine.

Chuuya’s gloved hand grips his drink tighter. The bartender has been growing worried that it will just shatter under the pressure.

It’s been over an hour and you haven’t stopped encouraging Dazai with that stupid grin on your face. It’s nothing like the one you give him, the one he lives to protect.

You’ve got a heart that longs to be loved, one Chuuya wants to nurture. How can he make you understand that you don’t need to jump around from person to person to receive compliments and feel validated? Why can’t you see that he’d be more than enough?

With a slam of glass down on the polished wood, Chuuya slides off his barstool and makes his way around to where you and Dazai are seated.

It was a stormy day, but nonetheless, Chuuya decided to make a run to the little shop one block from his place. He was set on picking up some appetizers that would go well with the red Dolcetto sitting in his kitchen cabinet.

Leather shoes splashed in the puddles along the sidewalk, rain pittered against the black of his coat and umbrella. He held the plastic bag of gouda and roasted turkey slices with one hand, doubling up on the knot in hopes of preventing any water from leaking in. The shade of his hair was the only reason he didn’t blend into the bleary background. The city was a monotone watercolor painting; dozens of droplets falling from the sky, lights flickering on as afternoon turned into evening, the usual rush hour bustle muffled by the cold rain of the murky clouds above.

Anyone would’ve paused for a moment if they found a soaking figure crouched down on the sidewalk. Anyone would’ve tapped them with their foot to see if they needed help. Anyone’s heart would’ve melted a little when they laid eyes on the shivering puppy the person had been shielding from the rain. Anyone’s heart would’ve thumped a little harder making eye contact with you for the first time. Not just anyone deserved to.

When you refused to take the umbrella and leave Chuuya without one, a compromise was made that he would walk you home; somehow, that resulted with him sitting on your bathroom floor, caring for a wet puppy, and trying to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat with every laugh that spilled from your lips.

What kind of person halts everything, soaks themself to the bone for some random dog, and lets the first stranger to offer them an umbrella into their apartment? He began to question whether it was the puppy or you who needed more protection.

The redhead found himself wandering into your city block more often. He noticed your favorite coffee shop, and decided that it had to be added to his routine. Lovely little coincidences slowly allowed him to engrain himself into your everyday life. It was all for your own good, after all.

Someone getting a little too friendly on the metro? That same man’s body was found beaten half to death in an alleyway the next morning. No evidence, no fingerprints; the perpetrator used gloves.

Crying because of the things your friends say behind your back? Chuuya isn’t hesitating to accidentally stumble upon your hiding spot and offer his shoulder to lean on.

On a particularly windy day, his hat blew off, and you just happened to be nearby to catch it.

It had to be some form of fate. He was meant to find you and you were meant to be with him.

Such a precious creature you turned out to be; he found it sad that no one had ever bothered to get to know you properly. To understand you. Not like he had.

You were a drug to his mind every waking second and every night as he laid awake staring at the ceiling, arms crossed behind his head.

Everything slid into place so naturally. He messaged you good morning and you followed through with a goodnight. On the best days, he walked back through his front door unable to wipe the lovesick grin from his face.

His presence gave you something solid to fall back on, it was nice.

He should’ve known it could only last for so long.

Some people are like parasites. They squirm around their miserable existence until they can find something lively to latch onto. They use it to fill their own void, draining the other being of its life and leaving it behind once they’ve had their fill.

“Oh, Chibi! Didn’t expect to see you here,~” the brunette chimes. Liar.

You spin around on your barstool and a smile lights your eyes up when your gaze lands on the redhead.

“Y/n-san and I were just sharing a drink. Do you two know each other?” Bastard.

“Chuu, it’s good to see you,” your voice melts in his ears. “Do you want to join us?”

“I don’t know why you didn’t introduce me sooner,” a grin spreads across Dazai’s face, “They’re an absolute treat.” He swirls the sake around in his cup before raising the glass to his lips. Parasite.

“Yeah, I’ll join you,” Chuuya replies politely, taking the seat to your right while Dazai is on your left.

“So how do you and Dazai know each other?” you question innocently. The two men make eye contact for a brief, unnoticeable moment.

“Work,” they both reply in unison. “We dealt a lot with trades between organizations,” Chuuya explains.

“Many jobs here and there,” Dazai adds. You nod your head in understanding.

“But enough about us!” a fox-like grin crawls up onto Dazai’s face, “I’ve barely gotten to know you yet.”

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about,” you reply with a humble smile.

Chuuya sighs and turns to the bartender to order another drink. If only he could make you understand.

“Nonsense!” Dazai rests his chin in the palm of his hand, “Why don’t we play a little game?”

“Okay,” you nod with interest. “It’s either or,” he continues with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “First question: Tall men or short men?” Chuuya chokes on his whisky. “Hmm,” you tap your chin in thought, “I don’t think height matters much to me.”

“Interesting,” Dazai folds his arms in front of his chest. Chuuya glares. You’re treading on thin ice, Mackerel.

“Next question: Do you think dark eyes or light eyes are prettier?” Dazai tilts his head, you stay silent. “Sorry, but I don’t think I want to be asked these types of questions,” you state politely, Chuuya has to hold back his smirk. “Ah, I see, I do apologize,” Dazai leans back, “I’ll change the topic. Cats or dogs?” He’s not worth starting a bar fight over, Chuuya internally screams, he's not worth it, he's not worth it, he’s not worth it.

“Well, that’s a tough one,” you hum, tracing your finger over the rim of your glass, “but I’d have to say dogs.” Chuuya’s ears perk up. “They’re so protective and loyal, and I’ve never met one that wanted to sink its teeth into me just because it can.” “I see,” Dazai smiles slyly, narrowing his eyes.

Chuuya sighs. You shouldn’t be wasting your breath on such a snake. Can’t you tell he’s done this a million times? The way his lips move, when his finger slips under his glass to set it down softly, how his eyes trace over your form like a wolf studying its prey.

“What about you, Chuu?” your voice breaks him out of his trance. He blinks at you a few times before raising his eyebrow, your giggle practically squeezes at his heart.

“Do you want to take some tequila shots with us?” you tilt your head. Chuuya raises an eyebrow. “Tequila? You don’t drink very often though,” he furrows his eyebrows in concern, “Tequila is pretty strong, you’ll end up with a shitty hangover.”

“Dazai says he can have a few shots without getting too tipsy though,” you reply. Dazai sits with a conceited smile.

Of course he can, that man’s alcohol tolerance is concerningly high.

“Fine, but just one,” Chuuya’s tone is stern, “two at most. You’ve already had three drinks.”

“I’m not even tipsy though,” you pout softly. Dazai chuckles as he raises his hand to call the bartender over.

It was clear from the start that you had no intention of heeding Chuuya’s advice. After two shots, you were giggling all over yourself and Chuuya had to keep a hand on your back to prevent you from falling off your barstool. “No, Y/n, give that back, hey! Dammit!” Chuuya attempts to swipe the glass away, but you’re just fast enough to steal his shot and throw another mouthful of tequila down the back of your throat.

“Mm!” you beam with satisfaction, “I told you Chuu, I’m fine.” The warm-toned lights of the bar seem to complement the hazy flush of your cheeks that bleeds into your smile. He adores the way you lean into him so trustingly. He’d probably have a smile similar to your own creeping up into his cheeks if it weren’t for the dark-eyed lynx sitting just to your left.

“They told you ‘Chuu,’ they’re fine,” Dazai’s lips form a smirk, one Chuuya wants so badly to smack off his face. He glares for a moment, but reminds himself of who his top priority is. He leads you to your feet by your forearms and catches you when you fail to hold yourself up. “Y/n, I’m going to take you home now, okay?” Chuuya’s voice is gentle, he slings your arm around his shoulder and turns to walk out the door. You look over at Chuuya and suddenly gasp, “We’re going somewhere? Where?”

“I’m taking you home, Y/n.” “Come on Chuuya, you’re really not willing to share?” Dazai calls loudly.

Chuuya pushes down the feeling boiling under his skin for your sake. You’re trusting him to get you home safely- admittedly your judgment may be a bit skewed at the moment- but still.

“What’s so special about them, huh?” Dazai prods and Chuuya’s grip on you tightens. You’ll never get to know. You don’t deserve to. That’s my right, this is my person. Who the hell do you think you are?

“I may just have to steal them away and find out for myself,~” Dazai smirks and Chuuya freezes. It’s only for a brief moment. He continues walking, but a dark cloud settles around his chest and in his mind.

“I’ll be right back,” Chuuya reassures you as he buckles you into the passenger seat of his car, “It’ll take two minutes, I promise.” “Where’re you going?” you look at him with a half-lidded stare, fingers still gripping the edge of his sleeve. “The bar has a bug problem,” he smiles deeply, “I’m going to go help them sort some things out.”

Dazai hadn't turned his head back after Chuuya’s fist came into contact with his cheek, the beginning of a bruise certainly beginning to form where he was hit. “Ouch,” Dazai keeps his voice steady, and his eyebrows lowered. He rests his hands in his pockets, ignoring the stinging pain in his back from being slammed against the wall in the alleyway out back of the bar. “I said, do you understand me, Dazai?” Chuuya grits his teeth, clenching his fist as he uses every drop of his remaining willpower to not crack Dazai’s head open like an egg. He takes one step closer.

“You really feel that threatened?” Dazai laughs lightly, “Aren’t I allowed to take an interest? They really are a very intriguing pers-!” Dazai grunts and his chest concaves as he feels the wind being knocked from his lungs. He looks up, back flat against the ground, Chuuya’s heel digging into his chest. “Something isn’t clicking in that brain of yours, so let me spell it out,” the mafioso glares, his frame silhouetted by the moon. “Y/n doesn’t need people like you in their life. The world doesn’t deserve them, I have to protect them from it. There’s no one else who can, don’t stick your nose where you don’t belong.” Chuuya takes a step back, allowing Dazai to sit up before turning on his heel to return to where you wait. Dazai’s scoff makes him freeze. “Shouldn’t that be something Y/n decides for themself?” Dazai’s voice echos, Chuuya doesn’t even need to turn around to see the haughty smirk on Dazai’s face.

In a split second, Chuuya’s heel comes into contact with Dazai’s other cheek, knocking the man roughly to the ground for a second time. “Tch, I don’t know why I even bother with you,” Chuuya snarls. Dazai stays low until his ex-partner walks around the corner and out of sight.

Dazai sits up and the corners of his mouth curl into a grin. He wipes blood from his bottom lip and chuckles deeply. “Damn, Chibi.”

Your mind keeps slipping you in and out of consciousness. One moment, you’re riding next to Chuuya in his car. He’s gripping the steering wheel tightly. The next, you’re in his arms, and he’s carrying you into a strange house. You accept whatever he puts in your mouth, swallowing it with the water he holds up to your lips.

You awake with a jolt, immediately laying back down when a sharp pain shoots through your head. You groan slightly, rubbing your eyes and trying to adjust to the morning sunlight. The first thing you notice is that you are still wearing your clothes from last night. The second thing you notice is that your shoes and jacket have been removed and placed on a chair next to the bed, and there’s a bottle of hangover medicine sitting on the nightstand to your left. The third thing you notice is that wherever you appear to have spent the night is definitely not your house. Ignoring the ache in your head, you throw the covers off and stand up cautiously. There’s something indistinctly familiar about the room’s scent, but you shake it off.

Creaking the door open, you observe the wood furnishings and step hesitantly into the hallway. Something in the next room smells heavenly- like a hearty broth. You can hear someone shuffling around. You tiptoe forward, but any apprehension churning in your stomach dissipates as soon as you lay eyes on the familiar head of red hair standing in the kitchen.

“Chuu?” you crinkle your expression in confusion. He smiles slightly and places a wooden spoon over the pot on the stove before looking up at you. “Y/n,” he turns down the heat and walks over to you, “How are you? Do you have much of a headache? I hope the medication helped.”

“Yeah, it’s not that bad…” you reply, scanning your eyes around the room, “is this your house?” “Mhm,” he replies, brushing his thumb over your cheek, “Well, our house now. You take a half step back. “What do you mean?” you question, “You know where I live, I have my own home.” Chuuya just shakes his head. “That isn’t going to work anymore,” he sighs, “I did a lot of thinking last night. Trust me, this is what’s best for you.” A shiver runs up your spine. The look in his eyes is so… impassive, nothing like the man you know. “What are you saying?” you shake your head slightly, “What, are you going to just keep me here against my will?” Chuuya steps forward again, his eyes boring into your own. “You won’t mind after a while,” he replies, taking one of your hands in his and brushing his thumb over your knuckles, “I’ll give you a good life, I promise.” You try to pull your hand away but Chuuya grips it tighter. You’re both silent for a moment, the air in the room seems to still. “Chuuya, you’re scaring me,” your voice wavers slightly.

An invisible force pulls you closer to the man, you stumble into his chest and he catches you by the waist, using his other hand to cup your cheek. A cold, thick sense of dread is present in the back of your mind, but you’re having trouble focusing on anything except his gaze. For a moment, his eyes soften. He looks at you tenderly, like the Chuuya you thought you knew. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you,” he speaks closely. You find yourself unable to move as he presses lips against your own, holding you close as if you could break at any moment.

A/n: I realized while writing this that this is actually the first time I've put a kiss into my writing! I am also open to feedback since I don't try to write this type of character/relationship very often. Thank you for reading!

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theincognitomoth · 2 years

Text

Sweeter than Custard

Mr. Wolf x female reader

Rating: +18

Word count: 7.4k

Summary: “I meant what I said last night, Moe,” you said. “And I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen. So don’t… don’t pretend it didn’t.”

Water drops falling from your face into the metal of the sink never echoed so loud, other than that, your heart beating on your ears was the only sound in the apartament. Your guts twisted.

“Please say something.” you said.

“You were very drunk.” Wolf finally spoke. “I… tried not to think much about it. I didn’t know if you would even remember last night, much less that you really meant any of that.”

“I did.”

During a party late at night, you get drunk out of your good senses and let your feelings for your friend slip. The next morning you can't tell what haunts you more; Your words or your actions.

Warnings: smut - vulgar language - friends to lovers - drinking - pra!se k!nk - reader is a bit bit of a pillow princess but only because Wolf is a service top - no Y/N - I swear, the summary is the angstiest part in the entire fic.

The ‘too soft to sleep in’ couch swallowed your overheated body cocooned in a furry blanket. Awake for some time now, you knew pain awaited the moment you opened your eyes, lovely Mr. Sun outside, in all its glorious morning shine, would blind you and enable the sledgehammer banging your skull to keep going at full strength.

Stupid, foolish, horny little you. A conscious person would’ve quit after the fifth drink, but no, not you, you kept going, the strawberry mojito cold sourness overpowered your exhausted resilience. If only your problems resumed to the hangover. A liver failure perished in comparison to the hot shame crawling its way over your twisted guts as the blurred memories gained focus.

“Shit…” You pressed your palms against your eyes.

Wolf was right, hangover and regret don’t go well together.

Last night was supposed to be harmless fun. After a particular rough work month, Diane decided to treat you and the guys to a private party. She reserved the top of the fancy condominium you all had the privilege to live in - perks of working and being friends with the governor, the budget was anything but tight - Chilly night, open sky dotted with fainted stars by the city lights, and a crystalline pool smelling of chlorine. Colorful lights and two dozen silver balloons scattered completed the scenery. Diane filled the place with snacks and drinks, and you couldn’t keep your hands off the custard tarts, sitting in one of the floral sofas by the covered bar area, you devoured the sweets. Uncovering criminal masterminds from the city alongside Diane’s re-election campaign drained pleasure out of your life, you needed and deserved to indulge a little.

Chatter, dance, and music at the right volume to avoid noise complaints. Harmless fun. The problem began when Diane, bless her unknowing soul, pointed out the sheer variety of alcoholic beverages up for grabs in the open, do it yourself, bar. Chances of avoiding a fine due to loudness flew out the loft alongside Piranha’s pants. Property damage would weigh on his and Miss Governor's wallet, for as it turns out, drunk Diane much enjoyed wrestling, and Piranha jumped at the opportunity to go crazy. She poked his eyes and he bit her tail, whoever lost the round that no one bothered to judge took a shot of rum with orange soda, ending with the two passed out on the floor. Snake stayed with Wolf at the bar, drinking and talking like civilized people, but forgot the calmness when Shark took hundreds of push-pops to the pool with him. Snake threw himself in the water without much thought, ‘I’m a quarter river snake!’ he said, and came back five minutes later with no push-pop, but poor Weebs, who in her drunken state cannonballed the 8 feet deep pool. She was saved, but her laptop passed to a better place. After that you guys played impressions, and if not for Shark's impeccable acting skills, Wolf would’ve won with his unhinged Professor Marmalade act as he screamed the meteor was a heart and not a goddamn buttcrack. Shark passed out in the pool, Snake and Weebs called it a night soon after. You almost followed suit, trying to be a responsible drinker to avoid a next day death wish, but everytime you glanced at the strawberry mojitos, your hand moved on its own and before you knew it, you had downed two more.

Now there you were, the once cold glass turned lukewarm and unable to stand still as the world spinned. You pushed yourself from the bar’s stool and your brain almost fell out, blurry vision trying to make out the exit to either pass out in the elevator or in your home’s living room carpet. You hoped, not wanting to come up with an excuse as to why a neighbor's kid found a woman in the elevator, smelling of alcohol and surrounded by puke. But your traitorous eyes refused to find the door; instead they found a lone gray figure, leaned on a sofa five feet away from you and going through pictures with a smile. Your heavy feet marched towards him on their own, pulled like a magnet with disregard for furniture on the way - you stumbled and knocked chairs down - and for your body -tripping and falling on said furniture - At the end of your painstaken journey with one scraped knee and a broken nail, Wolf looked at you with amusement.

“Wolfie!” You threw yourself by his side with a giggle, the man letting out a ‘hmph!’ as your head hit his chest. “Hi.”

His arm weighted comfortably on your shoulder.

“Hi to you too,” he said. “Someone clearly had fun.”

“Yeah, I ate all the custard tarts.” The creamy sweetness still lingered on the back of your throat, even after the mojitos. “But I wanted more, they’re gone so fast. I blinked and puff! No more custard tarts! Gone… I wanted more.”

His large clawed hand reached for your face, wiping the hair away from it and showing custard cream in his fingertips, you wanted to lick it off to savor the godsend taste one more time, like an sweethoot addict, but Wolf whipped the cream away before you could.

“Tragedy of life, you don’t always get what you want.” Wolf pointed his head at the bar. “So you drank your sorrows away?”

“Yeah… like…” You counted on your fingers. “Probably more than six strawberry mojitos. I lost count.”

On the small round table in front of the sofa sat a half filled glass of said drink, ice already melted and probably tasting more of water and rum than strawberry. Who knows whose mouth was in that glass.

Before your half asleep brain stopped your hand, you downed the drink. Your nose scrunched, tasted as shitty as you thought.

“Hey, that was”- Wolf said, looking at you and at the empty glass. “... Nevermind.” “Strawberry tastes good.”

“Sure does.”

“Custard tarts are better though.”

You glanced over to his hand, leaning further on his chest to see what he held, his heartbeat quick and short over the white cotton shirt.

“What’s that?”

Wolf’s chuckle reverberated through his chest, the hairs in your neck rising with the motion.

“Tonight’s highlights.”

He flashed the polaroid pictures to you like a deck of cards, forever immortalized in them were Diane’s and Piranha wrestling match, Weebs ruling the dance floor with her tarantula exclusive moves while Shark did the vogue on the background, and Snake pulling the most random drinks from the bar and mixing them with a professional bartender’s confidence. The last picture was of you, pouting at the empty tart’s plate while Wolf smiled like a bastard and the last one to the camera.

You gasped, hitting him lightly in the chest. The utter betrayal!

“You jerk. Evil, evil jerk,” you said.

“C’mon, I only took one! The other twenty four were all you.”

“Hmm… fine. I guess it’s fair.” You said, but the pain of letting one single sweet sleep away lingered. “Are you putting those on the fridge?”

“Only the least comprasing ones. Don’t want police or news barging into my place and finding out dear governor over there passed out drunk in orange soda.” Wolf put the pictures in his coat pocket. “The others are going in the bedroom drawer.”

“Ah, blackmail material.” You smiled.

Wolf placed one hand over his chest and looked down at you with believable offense.

“Now, that wouldn't be very nice of me, would it?” He opened that grin that made your legs weak. Changed for the better or not, the ‘bastard grin’ always suited him. “If these things end up in a golden frame, and, by complete chance, annoy the living hell out of the guys, it will be a complete accident.”

Face buried in the fluff of his neck, you laughed amidst a hiccup.

“You’re so mean,” you said.

In this position, you could smell the subtle cologne on his fur, it was like a walk in a pine forest after rain mixed with rum. You felt it before, burned into your mind from the first time you met, a reminder from everytime you sat close to each other and he leaned in to whisper a witty remark about the current situation, or when he asked you to dance, held you close, and the pressure of his hands lingered on your waist after they left, as much as you wished they stayed longer. Pine grew to be one of your favorite smells. Before you knew it, your tights squeezed against each other.

The softness brushed your cheek, an invitation to lay on it. Any other day, a sober day, you would've slapped yourself for the pathetic neediness. Wolf was your friend, even if he set your body ablaze with just a look, you would like to keep him as your dear friend. Any sober day you would pull away and ignore the heat forming in your core before it rose to your brain and deemed it useless, freeing you to make stupid decisions… Today was no sober day, and the mojitos in your bloodstream were highly flammable.

You caved and laid in fur silkier than expensive bed sheets, more comfortable than your own bed, even with his neck and shoulder tensed up. Your clenched hand on his chest felt his heartbeat stop for a second and come back faster than you could count. Wolf squeezed your arm, tail wagging against the sofa cushions with muffed thuds.

“You’re fluffy.” You snuggled further into him. “Smells good.”

“The wonders of conditioner.”

“Hmm…”

Both your hands ran over his chest grabbing the suit’s collar, pulling closer. You moved your leg across his shut together ones. His hands firmly held your waist in place, preventing you from sinking into his lap.

“Moe…” You moaned.

Wolf dragged a sharp breath, stern gaze on you.

“You’re drunk.”

“So are you.”

“Okay, but you’re drunker.”

You rolled your eyes, snaking your hands to tangle around his neck.

“I’m not that out of it, Wolf.”

He glanced over your shoulder, skepticism plastered on his handsome face. You followed to find the chairs, little tables and sofas you stumbled on to get to him, one of the chairs knocked over all the way to the pool. Shame heated your cheeks.

“Listen - Listen!” You ignored his smug look and pulled his neck closer to you. “Even if I was sober, I would still want to bang you.”

Wolf looked as if someone poured ice down his neck, half lidded eyes growing to the size of dessert plates, his claws dug into your waist, making your back arch.

He said your name as a warning.

“You’re my buddy,” he said. “So for your own sake, I’m asking you to stop talking.”

“But it’s true!” You giggled at the utmost unholy scenarios forming in your head. “If we go back to my place right now we can fuck in the shower.”

“Oh, okay. You’re still talking.” He shut his eyes and threw his head back on the sofa.

“No, no, I can’t sleep with wet hair. Uh… the kitchen counter then-”

“Listen to me, hang over and regret don’t go well together!”

“Oh! You could pin me against the window and when people look up-”

You fell on your butt as his hands let go of your waist to cover your mouth. Wolf didn’t look at you, and only spoke after too many seconds of silence.

“I need another drink.”

He held your shoulders and laid you on your side, face smushed on the cushion, and went straight to the bar.

“Gimme one too,” you said, leaning on your elbow to have a better look at him.

“No,” He pulled a whisky glass from the counter, filling it up with a blue drink you didn’t recognize. “Pretty sure you wouldn’t remember anything after your sixth drink, this would just be extra migraine on you.” He downed his drink in one shot, wiping his mouth with the suit sleeve. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

Wolf came back and pulled you up by the hand. Your knees gave in the moment weight was put on them, your legs useless wet noodles. He threw one of your arms over his shoulder and one hand supported your waist.

“Nooo,” you struggled out of his grasp, almost kissing the floor before he caught you. “Take Shark first!” You pointed at poor, unmoving Shark, face first in the pool and surrounded by empty push-pops with no sign of air bubbles on the water. “He’s gonna drown!”

A smile formed on the corners of his mouth.

“I’m sure Shark will be fine. These two on the other hand…” He gestured with his head to the floor, where Diane and Piranha laid over orange soda. “Hope her insurance covers a massage plan.”

The walk was a blur until you two reached the elevator; Wolf now and again pulled your slipping body upwards, jolting you awake. Sleep crawled into you, made your eyes sting and fill with water the longer you kept them open. You yawned and tried to focus on anything to keep you awake until Wolf got your drunk ass to the apartament, but in a dark elevator, you could either look at a panel changing numbers or him. Obvious choice, these numbers could be Calvin Klein models and you still would look at him.

He frowned at the metal door, body slouched by your weight and visible tiredness. His mouth pulled downwards, the same it did when he struggled with a harsh decision during field work, his suit was wrinkled and the first button on his shirt popped off; perhaps you pulled a little too hard on it. Ruffled up fur marked where your hands had been. Messy, tired and worried. How was it fair that he looked beautiful even with all of that?

“Wolfie…” you said. When Wolf turned his head to look at you, you booped his snout. “Hehe. I love you.”

Your knees hit the carpet floor before Wolf managed to scramble to catch you, sharp pain on the already scraped one. Who’s idea was to invent rough carpets in a world where gravity exists? Sadistic monsters! You yelped when he pulled you back up by the forearm.

“Sorry, sorry!” He said.

Something fluffy repeatedly hit the back of your legs, his tail wagging violently. Wolf let go of your waist and grabbed the thing like he meant to choke it.

“I’m sorry.”

Between the chokehold on his tail and panic on his face, for the first time tonight, you felt as if you’d done something wrong. Your conscience woke up to kick you in the shin and curse your idiocy. You just confessed to the man you loved drunk out of your senses in an elevator, while he had to carry your sluggish body home.

The shame was enough to slightly sober you up and fight the overwhelming sleepiness. You had to salvage this in any possible way.

“I mean it, Moe.” You said. “I love you.”

The last thing you heard was the elevator beep before sleep took over.

May death take you out of pity. Let your prayers be answered and God will open the ground to swallow you whole.

You could deal with the nausea and crippling migraines, hell, you would double the pain if it meant a distraction from sheer embarrassment. Which one was worse? Saying a drunken ‘I love you’ in the elevator without a single hint that you liked him beforehand, or shamelessly offer to have sex when the most physicall contact you ever had was a hug?

I love you. The words haunted you.

I love you. I love you.

Diane would have to excuse your absence from work, you needed a week alone to sulk, living on type water and custard tarts deliveries. Not the fancy ones, no, the cheap, factory produced tards; you didn’t deserve homemade sweets after such humiliation.

Headache took the focus away from your self pity as someone knocked on the door. If it was a complaint about yesterday's loudness, the poor soul who disturbed your misery was in for a face off with the devil.

Another fucking knock.

“Coming.” You kicked off the blanket and used the couch as support to get on your feet.

You dragged yourself across the living room, not bothering properly opening your eyes and swinging the door open.

“What?” You said, ready to bite off a head.

“Someone’s in a good mood today.”

Your eyes shot open - you held the door handle to not lose your balance.

“Wolf.”

“Yes, last time I checked.”

He stood there with a bag with green bottles and some painkiller boxes in hand. Light blue buttoned up shirt and one hand on the navy pants pocket, trademark grin spread across a clean face. He looked way too well.

“Passing by to check on everyone. You should’ve seen Diane, her fur was all sticky from the soda.” He reached on the bag and handed you a bottle and pills. “I got you some green juice, the very nasty one; good for a hangover. And some strong painkillers.”

“Oh…” Your hand robotically grabbed them. Wolf was in front of you, the man you asked to bang, offering a green juice bottle. I love you. You shoved the memory away. “... Thanks.”

Letting go of the handle, your feet stumbled backwards, head too heavy to stay in place. Wolf’s gentle hand steadied your back and the other held your elbow.

“Easy there.” He kicked the door shut and guided you to the couch, taking the green juice and handling it uncapped with a painkiller pill. “Here, if you drink it fast it doesn’t taste as bad.”

You stared at Wolf, at the bottle, and back at him, mouth agape as if words wanted to come out. His casual smile twisted your stomach. How could he look so normal after everything you said? After what you’ve done?

I love you.

Wolf sighed.

“Okay, that was a lie, it tastes awful anyways.”

Your chest tightened. Him not remembering last night was impossible, being much more sober than you. Yet he acted as any other casual sunday; pretending nothing happened. You couldn’t look away, trying to see if his face gave away deeper feelings; a different twinkle in his eye, an ear twitch, anything that differentiated this Wolf from the Wolf you didn’t offer yourself to.

His smile dropped.

“I can get you water and a salad if the juice is too disgusting,” he said.

You let out an incredulous laugh, steering your eyes away from him. Nothing. Nothing at all. Maybe he was pretending to not embarrass you to death, maybe he hoped you forgot all about it as he said you would.

Before the knot on your throat tightened, you snatched the pill and green juice, drinking more than half of it in one go, plastic bottle cracking with your grip. You pressed it to your forehead, eyes squeezed shut, and curled into yourself. You should be grateful, he got you home and pulled a blanket over you; He came to check on your pathetic state, brought medicine and healthy drinks; He did the favor of embarrassing you. Wolf did nothing but be a good friend, you were being such a baby. You should be grateful, and say thank you like a polite adult.

Say thank you, just open your mouth and thank him. Say thank you.

I love you.

Shit, you fucked up.

Wolf’s hand touched your shoulder and you jumped. He looked at you with worry. You opened your mouth but not a beep came out. With an apologetic smile you left the couch and made your way to the kitchen sink, opening it and splashing cold water on your hot face. This was easier when alcohol blocked your basic self preservation. For so long you kept your feelings to yourself, ignored the want to hold his hand, kiss him. Keep to yourself the praises that didn’t relate to his genius planning abilities; like how beautiful he looked in a particular well-fitting disguise; how you melted when he held Mr. Cat like a precious baby, and how talking to him lightened up your day after it started with stubbing your pinky on the bedside table and a coffee stain on your outfit. All the things you lacked the guts to say and do, spilled out in one night in the worst possible way. You had to do better than this. Put on your big girl pants, face your feelings. Wolf was there, he was right there staring at you from your couch. Drunk you couldn't be braver than sober you.

You clenched the sink’s edge and took a deep breath as if it could fill you with courage instead of air.

“I meant what I said last night, Moe,” you said. “And I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen. So don’t… don’t pretend it didn’t.”

Water drops falling from your face into the metal of the sink never echoed so loud, other than that, your heart beating on your ears was the only sound in the apartament. Your guts twisted.

“Please say something.” you said.

“You were very drunk.” Wolf finally spoke. “I… tried not to think much about it. I didn’t know if you would even remember last night, much less that you really meant any of that.”

“I did.”

You turned on the sink to face him, Wolf leaned on the back of your couch in a similar position to yours, holding onto to it, one leg crossed over the other, his bashful face made you much more relieved.

“It was one of those ‘alcohol in, truth out’ situations,” you said.

Wolf pushed himself from the couch, walking towards you, each step made your heart beat faster. You fought the heat rising to your face when he looked down to you, hot air from him warming the curve of your nose.

“How long have you…” He slid a hand down his neck. “... You know.”

“Almost two years by now.”

His ears perked up, small grim on his agape mouth.

“Two years?”

“Almost two years.”

Wolf squinted, one of his years flipped down.

“I was in jail at that time.”

“Yeah, and I missed you.” You looked down, your hands tugging your shirt suddenly very interesting. “Way more than a friend misses a friend.”

Although you missed all of your friends in the year they’re locked up, after a phone call, the heartache subsided; you heard their voices, reassured they’d be fine, knowing you’d get to see them soon. With Wolf, all that phone calls did was remind you he wasn’t there. Simple things you paid no mind to turned melancholic; Bitter coffee without a ‘good morning’ and raised a mug while he read the journal, fishing articles about The Bad Guys to share with the crew. Going for a walk around pine trees tightened your throat, because the smell was so much like his; You only realized how affectionate he was by going touch starved for an entire year. A muffled voice over jail’s shitty phone wasn't enough.

“The day you’re released, Diane asked if I wanted to get you guys home,” you said. “But I still needed time to figure this out. And when I did I couldn’t look you in the eye without wanting to bury my head on the sidewalk.”

“Wait a second,” Wolf said, way too amused. “Is that why we didn’t see you for a month? You said your grandma needed support because her dog died.”

“I know, I lied!” You buried your face in your hands. “I’m a terrible person, my grandma doesn’t even have a dog.” You dragged your hands through your face and looked up at Wolf. “You’re not supposed to find out like this, I’m sorry, Wolf.”

“Hey, it’s fine. Don’t beat yourself over it.”

“I confessed to you in an elevator while you literally dragged my drunk butt.”

He smiled.

“It wasn’t the most embarrassing thing you did last night.”

“Oh, god.” You shrunken on yourself, hiding your face. Sadly, it didn’t make you disappear. “Kill me, have mercy and kill me right now.” You shrunk even more when Wolf laughed.

As you repeated your death wish prayers, Wolf’s hands took yours, peeling them off your face, not a glimpse of mockery on his eyes, but a look you only ever imagined he would give you.

“Did you mean to do that as well?” His big hand ghosted over your check. “It’s fine if you didn’t, I just wanna know.”

Your bones all melted, lucky you’re getting quite good at standing on weak knees. He was so close, his scent invading your senses and messing with your brain. Body pulling into his, you hold on the sink tightened so much you thought it was going to crack. Stupid as your actions were, the drinks did nothing but feed the already existing flame. You wanted him, craved the intentional touch that came from a place of passion instead of friendship.

You leaned into the hand on your cheek.

“Yeah,” you said.

Wolf’s cold nose brushed against the overheated skin on your face.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Letting go of the sink, you placed your hands on his chest. “I did.”

Inches apart, you closed your eyes and tilted your head.

Sparks flew when his lips touched yours. So very sweet and gentle, Wolf pulled your face closer, claws tangling with your bird’s nest of a hair. You ran your hands up the velvety shirt, his accelerated pulse not going unnoticed when you reached his ruffled neck. Your checks began to hurt and you realized you’ve been smiling through the kiss.

You panted when he let go of you; not for lack of air, but a worthless attempt from your body to cool itself down. Gushes of air couldn’t put down the blaze within you. You kissed. You kissed the man you’ve been in love with for too long, and it felt better than you could ever imagine because it was real and you didn’t sink in guilt once the pining fantasy was over. You kissed, and by the blissful way he looked at you and how his tail cut the air with the wagging, you’re safe to assume he felt the same.

“Now that the mojitos are out of the picture,” Wolf said. “How much of last night do you still mean right now?”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pink fog blurred your surroundings and your body grew too hot for your clothes.

“All of it,” you whispered against his lips.

Wolf gripped your waist and pulled you up on the kitchen counter, legs spread to accommodate him between them, sealing his mouth to yours again. When his tongue brushed against your lips, you parteted them with pleasure; his to explore as he wished, and good grace, he did. Slow and deep, fervor followed from your tongue to your sex. Wolf squeezed your waist and you gripped the back of his shirt, back arched as well as every hair on your body.

He let go of your mouth, hot breath now on your neck, whoever, no pressure from his teeth. He stared, conflicted, you assumed by his knitted eyebrows. With a maw filled with piercing teeth, you understood why, and should be at least a little scared, yet no fear crept to you. How could it when he made you feel so secure?

You exposed your neck to him and caressed his back. A contempt sigh brushed your skin, followed by a velvet tongue and a soft nibble.

“Moe…” you moaned, legs locked around his waist.

He hummed against you and pulled your hips closer, your body whimpered when Wolf grinded against you. You held to him as if your life depended on it, rational brain melted into aphrodisiac mush as one single thought remained: Fuck me.

“Fuck…” You squeezed him between your legs.

“That’s the idea,” His hand slid up your shirt.

And that’s when you remembered. You’re on the kitchen counter.

“Wait, wait-” you said. His hand froze in place and you catched half lidded eyes growing three times in size. “My bedroom.”

Any pity you might have felt for scaring the hornyness out of him fell in its face when he gave you the bastard grin.

“Ah,” Wolf tapped the corner of his mouth. “You know, I recall someone saying I could do her anywhere.”

Ice water poured over the fire in your loins.

“Oh no.” You groaned into your hands.

“In the shower, the kitchen counter-”

“Stop Talking.”

“Even against the window. That was a surprising one.”

“Shut up, shut up! It wasn’t me talking, it was the mojitos.”

“Allow me to paraphrase then.” Wolf took your hands off his face, and you never wanted to smack him more than now. “It was one of those ‘alcohol in, truth out situations’.”

If you weren’t head over hills for the asshole, you'd put back your hills to kick him out in a literal, painful sense. Since that wasn’t a viable option, you put on your best displeased face and stare him dead in the eye.

“Keep talking and I will blue ball you.”

His smile dropped.

“So is your bedroom the door to the left?”

Wolf had his hand on the small of your back, soft kisses on your shoulders and neck during the short hallway walk kept your insides fuzzy. You opened the door to the white bedroom, noon sun filtered by the semi sheer curtains in your favorite color, matching the still tidy queen sized bed sheets. Presentable enough, even if Wolf knew how much of a mess you could make, a wrinkled bed and clothes scattered on the floor didn’t set the best romantic mood.

You sat on your bed with a bounce, hands stretched for Wolf. He sunk into you, deep kiss and fingers on your hair, he laid you on the pillows, pulling one strand out of your face.

“Aren’t you pretty?” he said, gazing at your mascara stained face and possibly blood shot eyes.

“You’re one to talk.”

Wolf quirked his head.

“Am I now?” he said, amused.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know how hot you are.”

“Can you believe that I don’t? Mind telling me?” You rolled your eyes with a chuckle. Oh the dangers of stroking this man’s inflated ego. You supported yourself on your elbows and cleaned your throat, one dramatic hand over your chest.

“Mr. Wolf, you’re painfully handsome, hotter than the sun, and I could stare at you for longer than any pretentious art piece.” You smiled, proud of your little act. “Happy?”

You expected a chuckle, a playfully annoyed look, but your heart fluttered with the genuine delight in his face. Oh, he liked that. Good to know.

Wolf shook his head, snapping out of the awestruck look.

“Yeah, that was…” he said. “Good enough description, nice delivery. Gonna take it.”

Your hands held each side of his face, thumb stroking it gently. How could he look more bashful now then when you flirted with him?

“You are really handsome, you know.”

He leaned in your palms, snuggling in them, you were sure he was going to melt in your hands.

“My pretty girl.” He kissed your wrist.

‘My’, your head became light. ‘My’, he said.

He kissed you with fervor, hand roaming from your lower leg to your tight, and up the naked skin under your shirt, tickling your stomach. He slowed down at the curve of your waist, the oh so light claws against it sending goosebumps up and down your torso, shirt lifted along the way. Waltzing to your back, he did quick work unclasping your bra, tension leaving your shoulders and overnight restrained breasts. You lifted your arms as he took off your shirt and bra together and tossed them away. You held your breath as he stared at your chest; shameless, Wolf gave your right breast a soft squeeze. You gasped, face much ablaze in a mixture of excitement and embarrassment. Your heartbeat shook you from head to toe, and Wolf’s hand on your chest might just feel it; hell he might just hear it, so dramatically loud.

He lowered his muzzle to the top of your head to place a kiss, his covered chest in reachable distance, the pretty fancy shirt blocked the view. You opened the buttons and ran your hand through the light cream fur, never getting tired of how silky he was. Wolf’s shirt soon joined yours in a forgotten corner, you now free to devour him with your eyes, taking in the curves from his lean muscles and hints of ochre mixed with the warm gray of his fur. Where your hands had been left ruffled up marks; you itched to do so in all visible places, ruffle every little hair, front and back, a reminder of where he let you touch him.

He squeezed your breasts, thumbs rolling over your nipples; you pulled his chest fur, a breathy moan on the back of your throat escaping when his wet tongue touched the sensitive bud, circling around it before taking into his mouth.

“Oh, fuck…” You squeezed his shoulders, grip tightened when Wolf hummed around you.

His hand massaged and sparsely pinched your other breast. Uneven breath, you tried to control yourself, nails digging a little too hard on his shoulder - You didn’t want to claw him, not when he’d been so careful with you, but oh, how hard it was to control your squirming body, needy for more and unable to steady itself.

Wolf let go of your breasts. You contained a pitiful whine and he chuckled at your pout.

“Like that, sweetheart?”

Your heart leaped. ‘Sweetheart’.

“Yeah, you did so well ” you praised, receiving a similar delighted look on his face. “Felt really good.”

Fur on his cheeks ruffled up, he tugged at your pants waistband, sliding it down your hip bone.

“Gonna make you feel even better, pretty girl.”

Your hips jolted up, hot antecipation between your legs, where you wanted him in so bad, so, so ready to be fucked out of your mind.

“Please do.”

Your pants out of the way, he traced kisses from your jaw down to your stomach; cherishing the sensation, you eagerly waited for the sound of an unbuckling belt, arousal so intense it started to turn painful. But Wolf kept kissing down, lower, lower, his lips brushing the inner of your tights. You yelped when he muzzled your clothed clit, hot air against your soaked panties. You would wind up crazy by the end of this.

“Moe, please,” you breathed out, hips bucking forward. “Please, touch me.”

“No need to ask, sweetheart.” His claws slid down your panties - you couldn't get rid of them fast enough.

You caught his mouth watering, looking at you as if your smell made him drunk.

Wolf’s tongue dragging a line along your heat, savoring your taste with licks and wet kisses. You choked into your moan, gripping his head and pulling as if his mouth could get any closer. You clenched around nothing, excruciating in your own greedy pleasure, because there was no way in the world he could put his fingers inside of you. Oh, but you’re wrong. As if he read your mind, Wolf pushed his tongue inside you, ripping a pornographic moan from your throat, as he rubbed your clit up and down. if he kept on like that, the knocks growing tighter on your belly would come undone in his mouth. The image melted you like lava.

Still, you wanted more. It would be so easy to let yourself go, turn into a quivering mess and let him pleasure you for as long as your body would take - which wasn’t for much longer, regardless. But you craved something different; not a skilled mouth and divine fingers - him. So deep inside you, making you forget where your body ended and his started. You wanted to feel Wolf entirely, and for him to feel you as well. Him - you needed him.

Gentle and firm, you pulled his head away, maw glistened with your sinful fluids.

“You’re okay?” he said, worry in his eyes.

“Fuck me.” You sounded desperate to your own ears. His claws sunk in your tights. “I want you, Moe, I want you so bad, fuck me.”

He stared at you in awe, letting out a shaky breath. Something shifted in the air, even if for a brief moment, before Wolf got himself out of trance, you swore he stared at you like a starved predator. He stood on his knees, unbuckled belt revealing a clear voluptuous outline on his black underwear.

“No little hearts this time?” You raised a brow with a smile.

He laughed, a deeper sound than usual.

“Ditched those a while ago.”

His bothersome underwear out of the way, a red, generous erection greeted you, glistering raw shade and leaking pre cum made your mouth water and rub your tights. Wolf crowned on top of you, holding one side of your waist, light kisses scattered over your face and neck. You scratched behind his left ear, earning a contempt sigh he leaned in your hand. Hot and adorable, he felt too good to be real, as if at any moment you’d wake up with a crippling headache on the floor. Yet it was reality, yours to touch, and shamelessly feel, and it was so good; He had been so good to you, got you shivering in lust, bubbling with joy, he was such a-

Amid sweet touches, a light switched on in your head.

“Good boy,” you cooed.

Wolf went stiff. Claws tore the bed sheets - sinking in the mattress. The familiar wag of his tail brushed your lower legs.

“Fuck,” he whimpered, face hidden in your neck.

“You like that, Wolfie?”

He nodded with a whine. A once feared wanted criminal, feared by many due to his sheer size and sharpness, heist mastermind, completely melted with praises; and yet it made so much sense, of course he would like it. You would call him adorable to his face if not for it taking a blow to his ego; Maybe another time.

“My good boy.” You cupped his flushed face out of hiding and rubbed his cheeks. “You’re doing so well, taking such good care of me.”

His hips rolled against you with a choked groan, spams running through you like lighting.

“Look what you do to me, sweetheart.”

“Should do it more often.”

“Oh, I agree.” He repeated the motion. “Wouldn't mind squeezing it on my daily schedule.”

Your heavy eyelids shot open.

“Daily?”

“Why not?”

“Because I like walking!”

“Awn.” Wolf placed one hand over his chest. “You flatter me.”

You playfully slapped his arm, giggling together, one relaxed moment before boiling anticipation.

Wold align himself with your warmth, the simple pressure made you whimper; legs wrapping around his waist.

“Ready?”he said.

“Yes.”

Careful and slow, he pushed in. Your wet core accommodated each inch with relative ease - blazing ache replaced by relief, the sparks from your previous edged orgasm making your toes curl and head lean back.

“Fuck… you’re good?” Wolf panted, whole of length buried inside you.

Oh, just ‘good’ wasn’t enough, you’re fucking wonderful, fantastic, filled to the abslute brim in a way that fogged your mind.Wolf hissed when you clenched around him.

“Yeah, I’m good.” You held onto his back and pulled him for a messy kiss. “Move for me?” you said, voice covered in honey.

A handful of your tight and the other leaned on the mattress, Wolf slid himself out and sunk back in, making you see stars. Your needy sounds filling the room with each thrust on a steady pace- he reached deep inside you, fucked your sanity away so good that you didn’t miss the ability to think for a second. He squeezed the plump of your ass; sucked and nibbled wherever his mouth would reach. Pine forest cologne mixed the smell of sex in the hot bedroom.

“Fuck, Moe- that’s it. Don’t stop… Fuck … just like this” you mewled, tension building on your muscles. “Good boy, good boy-”

His pace turned wild the moment praise left your lips. You cried in pleasure, nails digging on his back.

“Shit, sweetheart… Not going to last like this.”

Oh, yes, yes yes! Fuck, yes. You’re so cock drunk you didn’t want anything more than for him to make a mess inside of you.

His hand found your clit, circling sloppy rubs; you all but screamed, clawing his back.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Good boy, good boy- Fuck!”

Your legs squeezed and pulled him close enough to immobilize his hips, making him grind inside you. Wolf pulled one of your hands tearing at his back, tangling your fingers together, a couple more seconds of him buried inside you and more rubs on your overstimulated clit for you to roll back your eyes and come undone. It didn't take long for Wolf to follow suit, shallow grinds through your intense orgasm before thrusting deep. He reached his high with a reverberating growl.

Through your blissed out state you tried to catch your breath, muscles shivering, Wolf’s hand clenching and unclenching yours.

Coherent thought began its way back to you, pants becoming steady breaths, legs sliding down and hands stuck in a claw position, off Wolf’s mistreated back. He winced.

“Sorry…” You said.

“It’s fine.”

With a tired smile, he pulled out of you, Softly nuzzling your cheek and kissing on the bridge of your nose. You reciprocated with a peck on his muzzle, embracing him and his warmth that covered you better than a fluffy blanket. He laid by your side and you snuggled in his chest, ear on his heartbeat. Wolf’s hands steadied your fluttery state, rubbing circles on your lower back.

“You’re okay?” He said.

“Uhum, I’m great. Actually…” You played with his chest fur. “I might add this to my daily schedule.”

“That good, huh?”

You felt his ego inflate and take up the whole room.

“As expected from such a good boy.”

Said ego blew back on his face. He winched.

“Yeah, about that. Let’s keep it between us, alright?”

“Relax, Moe. I won’t embarrass you in front of the others.”

He sighed.

“Thank you.”

“... Good boy.”

Wolf hissed, head buried in your hair. You failed holding back chuckles.

“Sorry, sorry.” You said, kissing his chest. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.”

Moe snuggled his chin over your head. You closed your eyes and caved to the comfort that was him and your bed, sun warming your naked body through the curtains, outside world muted. Diane could call and say somebody stole the moon, you still would not leave this little piece of heaven.

Your hungry stomach, however, was not Diane, and took now out of all times to complain that it only had a green juice today.

You sat up, away Wolf’s grasp, feeling like a monster when he looked at you like a lost and kicked puppy.

“Don’t give that look.” Your shoulder blades popped with a nice stretch. “I’m just hungry.”

“Oh?” He immediately sifted to his trademark smile and sat up as well. “Let’s go out then.”

Go out? You’re planning on eating leftovers and staying in bed with him all day! Maybe gatter the willpower to clean yourself, but that was a big maybe.

“What? Right now? Moe, I’m sweaty and-” You held back before saying ‘sticky’ “- a mess.”

“Come on, we can get brunch at that bistro you like, my treat.” He put in his pants and searched for the lost shirt.

Now that he mentioned, that place had your favorite dish.

“Can we get custard tarts?”

“All the custard tarts you can eat, sweetheart.” He buttoned up his shirt, waiting for your answer.

Well, it was a better option than getting who-knows-what collecting frost in your fridge, and a shower sounded nice.

“Give me fifteen minutes.”

“It’s a date,” Wolf said, kissing your heated check. “I’ll get the wallet and wait in the car.” He opened the door, but raised his finger before walking out. “I almost forgot.” He turned on his heel and winked at you. “Love you too, pretty girl.”

Wolf left you alone. Five minutes already gone by when you stepped in the shower, because that’s how long it took you to stop gushing like a teenager.

#mr wolf x reader #the bad guys 2022 #the bad guys #the bad guys x reader #mr wolf #mr. wolf #moe wolf #mr wolf x you

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misc-obeyme · 5 months

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yooo it’s ur weeb friend!!

lmao so asmo got banned from peru (and probably greece after the incident with helen BUT that’s water under the bridge) and levi got banned from japan for being too cringe-fail (the americans are already enough, NO MORE) but what about the others?

i feel like beel got banned from ireland after causing the great potato famine and from italy after eating all the pasta in the entire country once…

mammon got banned from vegas FOR SURE for causing a scene (not a country BUT he’s been banned from every casino in the US, and steadily working his way through canada and europe (starting with england) he’s making progress…

lucifer got banned from italy also for the vatican city incident. he wanted to see it cause he’d heard so much about it. no one is allowed to talk about it…but the brothers will tell you about it later if you want to know.

belphie and diavolo got banned from all of africa because due to a mix up they got blamed for spreading the sleeping sickness and malaria respectively (they didn’t actually do it but can’t seem to escape the allegations)

i think solomon got banned from mexico and all of south america and is the cause behind a lot of the superstitions based on devils/the occult there. people run from him in fear. he claims to not know why but you know there’s a reason. you can try to ask someone but they’re all too busy fleeing in terror.

barbatos claims he got banned from russia and china. no one knows why, not even diavolo. it’s one of the mysteries that he’s very secretive about, but legend has it that it’s related to something he did before he joined forces with diavolo.

i also think asmo got banned from india and some regions of france as well as various other european countries like spain and scotland but the stories behind those pretty much revolve around a party, drinking, and members of nobility. and they’re usually so long and crazy and asmo is always insistent he did nothing wrong and will leave out parts of the story to make himself sound good BUT if you’re a real history buff you can usually sus out what actually happened. or get him drunk. he always has loose lips when he drinks.

satan got banned from the americas (specifically north america) due to his rebellious streak/temper tantrum days resulting in the satanic panic. mostly caused by americans being rude and making him angry. he’s also a basis for a lot of mexico/south american superstition, though somehow…not as much as solomon?

just my silly lil ideas i wanted to share! what are your thoughts?? 🤔🤔🤔

Hello there, my friend!!

al;dskjfasdlksfj Beel causing the potato famine looool!

I definitely think they all have the potential to get banned for causing specific issues. Definitely Beel eating all of everything, Mammon causing trouble at casinos, and Asmo just getting drunk and partying too much.

I also think Mammon would be banned for doing something like insurance fraud. I don't know why but that just seems like something he'd get himself into. Or maybe it turns out he's the mastermind behind all the internet email scams asking you to send them thousands of dollars.

I think Lucifer has to be extra careful because uh... he's Lucifer. You would think he'd be banned from the Vatican before he ever even showed up there. Satan, too. Just stay away from religious locations when the religion in question considers you to be the source of evil, okay?? Though I would absolutely demand the story from the other brothers about the incident lol.

Okay see I headcanon Solomon spent a significant amount of time in the southwestern US just because he's always wearing that bolo tie lol. So I love the idea that he was also in Mexico and South America, just being the menace he always is. In the Devildom, the stuff he does isn't too weird, but can you imagine normal people in the human world encountering him and all his weird experiments? And if he was actually covered in pacts marks that look like demonic sigils? I have no doubt that he would be the source of years worth of superstitions.

I LOVE all ideas where Satan is the cause of any kind of Satantic activity anywhere. Like the Satanic panic was so ridiculous, but I love the idea of him causing it just by being angry about rude people.

I do think Satan could also have been banned from Japan - most specifically, Tashirojima where the cat population far surpasses that of the human one. Possibly also Hydra Island in Greece, which is another island known for its high cat population. I just think eventually they'd be like listen we appreciate how much you love the cats, but you need to leave now lol.

All of this seems more than enough to get any of them banned from the various human world locations they've caused trouble in. It's so funny to think about them running rampant in the human world. Lucifer out here probably acting like he'd never get banned, but he's caused his fair amount of problems, too.

#seriously hilarious #MC finds out about it all over time and is just like... that was YOU #I should've known lol #obey me #obey me nightbringer #anon asks #misc answers

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umekawa-eve · 1 year

Text

You bump into them when they are…

Characters: Hanayama, Retsu, Katsumi, Yujiro, Pickle, Guevara, Musashi

@HANAYAMA KAORU

The time is 3:45 on Friday, and the place is the classroom of Class 1A of Kurawashi High School.

"I really want to go to the maid's cafe." You whimper while lying on the table, just enough for Saeri who is sitting behind you to hear.

"You're interested in that kind of place?" Saeri asked, squinting at you, who was packing her textbooks.

"I really want to eat omurice which was delivered by the lovely maid onee-san※, I really want to be called master by the lovely maid onee-san, I really want to drink tea with the lovely maid onee-san."

(※Note: “onee-san” mean sister in Japanese. )

"Are you an old man?" Saeri asked.

You frowned and raised your head, "Don't underestimate old men! Old men are very popular in the ACG community."

"Pathetic otaku." Saeri said wryly.

"If you come with me, I'll let you copy my biology homework."

"No, I’m good. I'm going on a date with my boyfriend today."

"It’s okay, I can live by myself, I'll pick up the trash myself and eat it."

"Okay, but be careful not to eat glass shards."

——

In the end, you went to the Grapple Heaven maid cafe in Akihabara alone, which is a bit of a weeaboo cafe. The name might give the impression that it's one of those places, but it's actually a very normal maid cafe, with lovely maids coming out to greet guests.

Still, It takes a lot of courage to enter such a place like this.

You look up at the pink lettering on the sign (Grapple Heaven Maid Cafe "The Strongest ☆Maid on Earth"), swallow a mouthful of water, and clutch the orange shopping bag containing the Pochita stuff toy you just bought.

(If my classmates find me entering this kind of store, I will definitely die socially…I’d better go home, I really dare not go to this kind of place alone.)

Just as you turned to leave, a vibrant voice called out to you:

"Master, welcome back!"

"Ah? Huh?" You let out a strange cry that even you thought was abrupt.

Although humans can't see the 360-degree direction, if someone comes out of their line of sight, or if the cat they raise runs to play at their feet, they can detect it.

But you couldn't detect the maid at all.

The most terrifying thing is that you followed the maid upstairs before you knew it, and were taken into the maid's cafe.

If this maid was a serial killer, you would have been dismembered.

Upon entering the store, the maids, who had already stood at the door, cried out in unison, "Welcome back, Master!" Their voices were very sweet, and they looked like beautiful girls, but their muscles were comparable to those of bodybuilders. There is a huge gap between their appearance and clothing, and it is really impossible to ignore this sense of disobedience.

(If I leave without spending money, they will definitely beat me to death.)

One of the maids takes you to a seat by the window and gives you a handwritten menu with lovely writing and a lovely doodle beside it. You can tell that the person writing it is a lovely girl.

"I recommend you to order this Bailin Temple Resurrection food set meal, which contains Chinese medicine and is good for your health. The meal also includes a glass of fructose water infused with the sweat of the martial artist's hands!"

"The sweat of the martial artist's hands sounds disgusting, but I'll take it." You smile.

"I understand Master♡"

After the maid left, you began to observe the environment in the cafe. The guests here are not all stereotypical weeb, in fact, most of them are very ordinary people and --

(H-Hanayama—?!!)

You stare in disbelief at Hanayama Kaoru, who sits by the window, enjoying vanilla ice cream soda and mango parfait.

He had already changed his school uniform and put on a slightly mature white suit. While looking out the window, he leisurely sipped the vanilla ice cream soda, exuding a relaxed and relaxed atmosphere all over his body.

(What a sight to behold! THAT Hanayama Kaoru in a place like this!! What else is he hiding?!)

Perhaps sensing your intense gaze, Hanayama put down his glass and turned his head to look in your direction. When he sees you, his body freezes noticeably.

(FUCK.)

The two of you look at each other, equally stunned to have run into each other in the maid's Cafe.

"Thank you for waiting, master!"

At this moment, the maid came to rescue you like a savior, standing between you and Hanayama.

"This is the Berlin Temple Resurrection Cuisine Course you ordered——!"

The Bailin Temple Resurrection food set is a nice name, but it's actually omurice, butter-flavored yam, and fructose water with the sweat of a martial artist. The words "Resurrection!" were written in ketchup next to the omurice.

"What would master want me to write on the omurice? I can also draw patterns!"

You think for a moment. "Please paint what you want, I don't care."

The maid nodded and then drew a fulu with ketchup on the omurice.

"?"

"Ah, I'm so sorry—I used to work at a shrine before, so I'm used to drawing fulu! I'm so sorry! I'll make you a new one!!" The maid kept bowing and apologizing to you.

You wave your hand. "It's okay, I like this very much."

The maid raised her head and smiled sweetly again, "Thank you for your understanding, master!" Afterward, the maid gave you a protein drink worth 600 yen to make up for it.

Immediately after the maid left, the wall between you and Hanayama disappeared, and now it's just the two of you staring blankly.

(What should I do... Should I go up to him and say hi? But he doesn't seem to want to be disturbed, and it must be very embarrassing for him to be discovered by his classmates that he is in the maid cafe or something.)

Your thoughts wander until a new message comes from your phone, drawing your attention to it.

You unlocked your phone and saw that the caller turned out to be Hanayama, your heart skipped a beat, but you still mustered up the courage to open the message.

Saint Hanayama: I didn't expect you to come, what a coincidence...

You: I didn't expect you to come

Saint Hanayama: I happened to be passing by, definitely not a regular visitor.

You: Huh

Saint Hanayama: ......Please don‘t tell anyone about this.

You: Give me 10000 yan and I will shut up.

——

Ever since you bumped into Hanayama's laid-back look at the maid's cafe, you're starting to think it won't be weird to see him dressed as Sailor Moon someday... Although the witness's fingers could have been cut or thrown into Tokyo Bay (and dumbbells strapped to the body).

@RETSU KAIOU & OROCHI KATSUMI

-You see them wrestling together on the floor of the dojo, but you think they're making out due to the misunderstanding of the poses.

-Retsu and Katsumi didn't notice your presence, so you quietly left the scene.

- When you got home, you turned on your laptop and wrote a short story about Retsu x Katsumi, which was unexpectedly popular after posting it on the Internet.

- Retsu Kaiou and Orochi Katsumi, who were in the eye of the storm, knew nothing about it.

@HANMA YUJIRO

-Yujiro has nothing to hide, he has always done things openly, whether it is SEX or MASTURBATION, he will not do it stealthily! Morning, noon, night, keep doing it! Make it non-stop before and after meals! Do it until he is full! Until he gets tired of it! Do the best he can!!

@PICKLE

-You caught Pickle holding your phone and kissing Twilight Sparkle* human fanart.

(※Note: Twilight Sparkle is the protagonist of My Little Pony.)

- After you bumped into him kissing Twilight sparkle, Pickle immediately hid in the tree hole and didn't come out for two days.

@JUN GUEVARA

- Honestly, you've already seen his pp, and now you don't even care if he's naked in front of you.

@MIYAMOTO MUSASHI

-You caught him talking in his sleep. According to the content of the dream, it was probably a nightmare, because Musashi kept shouting the name of Samuko Grandma and shouting in the tone of an Italian local organization "Passion" boss.

- So you picked up your phone to record and plan to use it to threaten him in the future.

A/N:

Gaia and Russian Boy’s headcanons chapter 01-05 will be added later maybe

I've been very busy recently, so the update is very slow, thank you for your patience∠( ᐛ 」∠)_

#baki #baki hanma #baki the grappler #anime and manga #baki son of ogre #baki headcanons #headcanons #kaoru hanayama #katsumi orochi #retsu kaioh #yujiro hanma

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unterwaesche · 2 years

Text

Tagged by @odessa-edmundson, thank you!

Favorite time of the year: Fall and winter! I like it cold and the holiday season always has a certain air about it. Plus hotter weather triggers my asthma.

A favorite comfort food: Curry! I have yet to manage to make it gluten free though...

do you collect something: Tokidoki figurines!

A favourite drink: I don’t know that I have a favorite? That might sound weird but there’s nothing that I’m just like yeah, this is my go-to. I mostly drink water and coffee.

Maybe chocolate milk?

last song/ A current favourite song: Last song was ‘We Drink Your Blood’ by Powerwolf. Current favorite, probably Nicht Wie Sie by Nachtmahr or Maske by Jack von Crack, I’m on a kick right now.

A favourite colour: Tie between black and blue.

last series: My wife and I are going through Sabrina, the Teenage Witch right now. We’re weebs but we got COVID yet again so we switched to something in English.

last movie: The Bob’s Burger’s Movie!

sweet, savoury or spicy: Spicy. I grew up on super bland boxed foods ‘cause nobody knew better in the 90s and then I discovered hot wings and never went back.

craving: Rice...I don’t know if I’ll ever see Han Kuk Mi rice again, considering how the food shortages are going and the one guy who stocked it at his store sold the store to people who turned it from a Korean market into a more general, maybe Burmese-leaning market. I got some Nishiki rice and I’m gonna make Rice a Roni tonight though. Homemade!

currently working on: An insurance transcript. I took a break from work to do this ‘cause I’m off my meds and all my contracts can tell 😒

Gonna tag @thejesusfandom but everyone else can join in if they like, I’m shy if I haven’t tagged you before.

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rye-in-a-coat · 1 year

Note

rye how do you drink your tea? and what is the best tea?

i’m now intrigued

My favourite teas are chamomille, mint, lemongrass, and this bitter as hell tea I drink every morning before any other food or drink (I have to confess tho that this one is drank cold). On this stuff I cannot say what tea is the best, any tea is valid.

My mug has the following elements in its inside: hot water that I microwaved (Microwaving water is ok), and the teabag. There are sometimes where the water is heated in a kettle or pot with the plant inside, but these are not usual instances and they happen when other people had already made it and I served myself a cup.

Ofc, in the past I have sweetened my tea with sugar, too much sugar, honey, liquid stevia sweetener, too much liquid stevia sweetener and even milk back when I was a weeb for the U.K. (Shocking). Since some years ago I made a change for better and I have been having tea with no sweetener at all. Just the teabag and the water. It's quite enjoyable.

When I was quite small I once tried Lipton, that ain't tea-tasting. A couple of years ago I tried ARIZONA, that shit ain't tea, it felt like having to swallow pure cold corn syrup that barely tasted like tea. The can design is an 11 out of 10 tho. On January I tried boba tea, dear God, it felt more like a task than an enjoyable drink. Chugging down milk (I don't like plain milk) that barely, just barely had a hint of tea flavour; that's already horrible, now add having to chew the unchewable balls each time one of the tons there are in get in your mouth so you don't choke and die. Clearly these teas ain't for me. Not judging if you like them.

However I learnt from my friend from American Georgia than in the U.S. Southeast they drink tea with high amounts of sugar and honestly idk bro.

Coffee sucks but I still drink it sometimes as a decision. It also has no effect on me that I have observed. Literally it smells better and coffee candy tastes a thousand times better than the real deal. Most overrated drink to ever exist. And no. Nope nope before you say it. No amount of fancy preparation methods will seduce me. This is also another reason why I am not that one blond bitch.

In conclusion, tea is second best drink according to me after water and before tepache. Milk is fucking great tho, love all of its products. What a blessing to us. But in this ranking I am evaluating them in their basic drinking form.

#letters to rye #Thanks for your ask. Greatly appreciated.#And again. No judgment for the PEOPLE who enjoy the drinks I don't simply enjoy.

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like-wuatafauq · 9 months

Note

Hey! hope u are having a lovely day!

ตʕ •ᴥ• ʔต*:･ﾟ✧

Missed u too! I hope you are healthy and drinking lots of water. To answer your question that i forgot, the only thing fun I been doing recently is playing tabletop RPG with my friends and I also found out I have a easier time talking with men than with woman. Not really sure why.

What about u? Done something fun recently?

Hey you caught me scrolling on tumblr as I wait for my appointment! Ahhh I do need to drink more water haha and omg that sounds fun!!! Glad to hear you got people around you to have fun with:)

I don't think I've asked you if you're into men or women? But if you're into women then maybe that's why? I hang out mainly with guys because I'm always afraid to be intrusive or make women feel uncomfortable and recently I stopped being friends with a girl who actually made me feel uncomfortable so that just made that fear worse :/

Oh! I've got my miguel o hara cosplay and me and one of my roommates are gonna try it out at a bar for Wednesday weeb tonight lol I mainly hang with him and play sports or take myself out on dates so yes lots of fun!^-^

#sweet anon #asks #idk if this ask came in while i was scrolling but i just saw it! hewoo #anon

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lostneedcoopcake · 1 year

Text

Very Stupid Lines From My Main WIP Out of Context

Trigger Warning: Mentions of blood and sexual jokes (I guess?)

“We’re literally in a car chase scene. I sure hope we come alive out of this, otherwise the only thing any unspeakable horrors will find will be our bones.”

“We are running from the police while trying to reach the church! We thought you needed an exorcism, but the only exorcism you need is some Initial D.”

“Can’t you also play the classic guitar, Mr. Rock?”

“Guys the door.”

“Romina, I’m sorry to break your happiness down, but I don’t think we’re dead. We might be missing plenty of our blood, but not our lives.” “Oh…” “If anything, Romina, you should be happy we are not in a torture chamber placed by that AI generated looking motherfucker and being like… lab rats. Yeah. At least we’re alive.”

“And of course he speaks in riddles. But the worst thing is that he has figured out emojis.”

“Oh, the kid’s here. Alright, I guess.. he didn’t possess the car or anything, did he?”

“Alright, weeb.”

“You like his hug more because he’s a boy, huh? Maybe you’ll suck his dick too?”

“Oh I’m starving! I could start eating the grass if you didn’t offer food!”

“I don’t know how to take a bath.”

“Mmmmm pink.”

“July what is he – oh you’re still unconscious.”

“Hey sudden fashionista, stop hitting on Matilda for once, eh?”

“Listen Jake, we will go for pancakes but right now it’s not the time.[..]”

“I understand you came from a cult but are you fucking insane?”

“Did you see any tentacles?”

“I- I am fully aware of that, Sebastian…”

“What the fuck am I looking at?”

“Well, you little rascal, I did want to talk to you. Doing without really talking is not really my thing; I like chatting.”

“Holy shit I thought no one heard of that part.[..]”

“Fuck that. I prefer to die from dehydration than to drink from there.”

“Now go fill it with the water in there!”“I’m not gonna do that!”“It’s asleep trust me!”

“Great, and our only Russian is unconscious.”

“Don’t think books are supposed to be doing that.”

“[..] Damn, the least untrustworthy guy I have ever met was right AND saved our asses![..]”

“Thank fuck we’re about to land.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s still in the first draft process, so there might be more dumb stuff told by the characters that are completely out of context for someone who has no idea what the book is about.

#writblr #writing #wip #dialogue #out of context #Romina and Sebastian are dumbasses #loveable dumbasses

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its-a-hil · 2 years

Text

i said id answer the ask game in full so here we go in all my oversharing glory:

1 - who is/are your comfort character(s)? oh there are a few lmao - rinwell (tales of arise), eleanor hume (tales of berseria), velvet crowe (also tales of berseria), oginome ringo (penguindrum), kagemori michiru (bna) yes i am a fucking weeb how have you not figured that out yet

2 - lighter or matches? im bad with matches but they feel so much more real so them

3 - do you leave the window open at night? i only did that for about a month ever in my life since my freshman year dorm didnt have a/c, besides that no i love feeling warm and stuffy

4 - which cryptyd being do you believe in? i mean none of them really, but not out of some principled skepticism i dont have an emotional connection to any cryptids so i dont really care about them actually that's not true i believe in the insulindian phasmid, despite it being fictional as well as a fictional cryptid

5 - what color are your eyes? standard brown tbh ive been complimented on them multiple times by multiple different ppl, many of whom i had never met but idk they dont really seem that special to me

6 - why did you do that? i wanted to answer all of these (said as much in my reblog), but i didnt have the motivation to until i desperately needed something to distract me from my piercings itching they feel pretty much fine now but well i started so i cant stop

7 - hair-ties or scrunchies? both! hair ties are great for when i part my hair into two different things i forget the name or for when i (rarely) braid scrunchies are great for just holding my hair together when i need to sleep or get my hair out of my face or go out lazymoding

8 - how many water bottles are in your room right now? just my one reusable stainless steel bottle, which i really need to refill and drink from brb okay thanks for the reminder i wont go to bed dehydrated today

9 - which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? lol. lmao. i have intentionally consumed a meaningful amount of caffeine on about 3 occasions in my life, and none of them were from coffee also it smells like shit

10 - would you slaughter the rich? <redacted> <redacted> <redacted> <redacted> <redacted> of course they would be given all opportunity to become not-rich and thus escape <redacted> <redacted> <redacted>

11 - favorite extracurricular activity? this is a weird question to comprehend! i'll just interpret it as 'what was your favorite club-type thing you did in school?' and to that i would have to make it a tie between rock climbing and puzzlehunt-style puzzles

12 - what kind of day is it? a good one! granted i didnt get nearly enough sleep last night but besides that we vibing

13 - when was the last time you ate? like 3 hours ago

14 - do you love the smell of earth after it rains? i love the smell of earth rainy or not, the smell of cities, and generally the smell of outside! except of course for the smells of cut grass and vehicle exhausts, each of which put me into a blinding rage for a couple seconds

15 - are you a parent? (all answers qualify) not even a little bit but if i can reach a point of stability in my life i would be happy to adopt if im not actively prevented from doing so or in the massive pipe dream scenario where i can get a functional womb implant, i would totally go through a pregnancy

16 - can you drive? yes and i need to in order to get to my job >.<

17 - are you farsighted or nearsighted? well this is a false dichotomy i did wear glasses at one point but that was mostly bc my left eye is weird and didnt actually have anything to being far- or near-sighted

18 - what hair products do you use? i mean. shampoo and conditioner im not very picky tbh

19 - imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? if you asked me to absolutely i mean i wouldnt touch you without your consent ofc but i would almost never turn down a low-stakes opportunity to help anyone im in proximity to

20 - do you say soda or pop? soda im a marylander (i also drink like. one can of sierra mist a year) however every time i think about soda i remember how fanta exists bc coke couldnt resist nazi money and that feels much weirder than a minor linguistics quirk

21 - something you’ve kept since childhood? i dont really have an answer to that (assuming im counting childhood as like. pre-age-13) i mean sure theres a lot of stuff thats just been in this house with me since i was 4, but i never did that consciously all of my most treasured possessions now (hello kitty velvet plush, pentagonal trapezohedron that my teacher made and friends signed when i was sick just before graduating high school, a few books, blåhaj, etc) have only been mine since i was at youngest 17

22 - what type of person are you? im not answering this it's too vague

23 - how do you feel about chilly weather? HATE okay that's a little harsh it's pretty fine once my body's used to it, but the first real chill of autumn fucks my body up

24 - if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? idk probably just talking about random stuff maybe playing cards or something since im much better at life when i have something not-directly-social to concentrate on oh definitely looking at the sky and pointing out the clouds/birds/stars/moon to each other that one's mandatory

25 - perfume/body spray or lotion? i put a moisturizer on my body after i shower so my eczema doesnt flare up and make my life hell but that's about it i dont really care how i smell beyond just using deodorant

26 - a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? oh god. media: various trans shouma and shouma x ringo and trans shouma x ringo scenes other ships but that's really the important one by an order of magnitude not media: when i was younger i used to imagine my crush being my gf and kissing me or w/e then after a certain point it was getting rejected / being alone with the hopes that it would convince me that i could be okay like that since i had reason to believe that my crush followed the imagining and not the other way around i dont do either very much anymore now it's just media or being a teacher trying to convince transphobic adults not to hate crime me or their children i may or may not have issues

27 - about how many hours of sleep did you get? depends very much on the day, i need about 9 hours on average but i am extremely flexible in where those hours are allocated over a 4-5 day period

28 - do you wear a mask? i absolutely wear a kn95 almost all of the time that im indoors, and some of the time outdoors (like if im cold) speaking of i need to get a good warm cloth mask so i can go biking in the winter without freezing my lungs

29 - how do you like your shower water? warm but not quite scalding

30 - is there dishes in your room? there are some wrappers but no my room is on the 2nd floor why would i bring dishes up here that sounds like a big hassle

31 - what type of music keeps you grounded? flare by clark powell there are a few other songs, some are homestuck and some aren't, but it really depends on how im feeling in the moment flare doesnt

32 - do you have a favorite towel? no i just wanna get dry

33 - the last adventure you’ve been on? ??? i have not been on adventures my life is quite boring, which is why it's good that im equally boring so i can enjoy it

34 - is there a song you know every word to by heart? bad apple!! i think (jp obviously have i mentioned being a weeb) a few other jp songs and some crane wives songs i also have a solid grasp on the lyrics to, but i couldnt recite them the same way i could for bad apple, at least a couple years ago

35 - what’s your timezone? est (eastern summer time) (what do you mean thats not what est means and that its not est right now)

36 - how many times have you changed your url? i dont think i have, but my tumblr acct is fairly new so thats pretty expected ive been considering moving away from the 'shill' branding, but ill probably do that when/if i change my name for real

37 - someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? if youve gotten this far youve probably already read my answer to the actual ask for this suffice it to say i have a friend from elementary school ive stayed in contact with up to and including now and i love him

38 - a soap bar that smells good? soap bars dry my skin out so i dont use them

39 - do you use lip balm? when i remember to (almost never)

40 - did you have any snacks today? girl i would not be myself if i wasnt grabbing a cookie every time i remember that they exist

41 - how do you take your coffee? this is bullying

42 - an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? twitter (T_T) discord i just got on the cracking the cryptic app bc sudokus are fun i also have a crossword app i also have bandori on my phone but i havent opened it in a month and im scared to bc of the downloads

43 - what’s your take on spicy foods? spicy foods are generally good bc the ppl who make them know how to make food im neutral on spice though like i have a decent spice tolerance but it doesnt really taste better or worse when a food is spicy hot similar feelings to garlic, like garlicky foods taste good but so do non-garlic versions of those same foods

44 - you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? im not answering that cop

45 - can you remember what happened yesterday? yeah i went to work, got some b day congratulations, and ate dalbati + cake with my parents it was good

46 - favorite holiday film? i watched knives out during that period of time in 2019 so im counting it and i dont care that its not a holiday film at all i dont care about christian holidays beyond decorating the tree bc my family's done it since i was a baby

47 - what was the last message you sent? "okay here's a promise for yxll: im gonna stream tomorrow (tomorrow being wednesday, im not allowed to claim that it being past midnight means shit)" my twitch is twitch.tv/its_a_shill if you care i stream tales games

48 - when did you first try an alcohol beverage? summer solstice party 2021 (i was 3 months out from being 21 so like. not exactly transgressive) it was just a bottle of apple cider and since then i really havent drank anything more than that

49 - can you skip rocks? not to the point that i could get 4-5 skips in a row, and it has been a while, but i know the general mechanics and ive gotten a couple good skips

50 - can i tag you in random stuff? id prefer if you dm'd me but sure

#why *am* i like this #unasked game

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bullet-prooflove · 5 months

Text

Vanished!Series Part Four: Live Ammo - Mike Duarte x Reader (feat: Joe Velasco)

Tagging: @resonmalvo @littleone65 @thesandbeneathmytoes @mydarkestsecretlol @evee87 @wooshwastaken @hearthockey @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @rosaliedepp @thatesqcrush @storiesofsvu @whateversomethingbruh @burningpeachpuppy @legit9thlunaticwarrior @kiwiithecrazybird @spooky-pomegranate @telepathay @weiwei0210 @spaghettificationandpretzels @plaidbooks @witches-unruly-heart @magic-multicolored-miracle @cycat4077 @deekaag @cixrosie @upsteadlogic @imaginecrushes @anime-weeb-4-life @hey-dw @alwaysachorusgirl @nu1freakshow

When Mike finds you, you’re clad in a white haz-mat suit with a ventilator strapped over your head. He’s never been so fucking relieved because you’re standing in the midst of a fully operational fentanyl lab and every single person involved in the raid knows just how dangerous that is. When he does the walk through the crime scene, he finds himself standing in a side room with a camp bed and a bin that’s filled with energy drinks and fast-food wrappers. The outside of the door has three different locks on it. It’s very clear you’ve been held prisoner here not because your cover has been blown, but because you’re exceptional at what you do. The evidence of that is stacked up in bricks against the south wall, ready to be packed up and distributed.

“The Niners put pressure on Connolly to pay back the money sooner. It put him into a spin, he needed more product and needed it fast.” You tell Mike when you finally get outside into the fresh air. “He’s been working me eighteen hours a day. Locking me in before starting all over again the next day.”

You’re sitting on the kerb sipping from a bottle of water. It’s the first time you’ve been outside in almost two weeks and it’s nice to feel the breeze on your face. You’ve stripped out of the haz-mat suit and are clad in a white vest and black cycling shorts, your hair is pulled back into messy bun. You would literally kill for a shower.

“Can I… Can I use your phone to call Joe? I just need to see Leah.”

Mike kicks himself because that should have been the first thing he thought of. The problem is he has other concerns. You both left something unresolved during your last phone call, something important and right now it’s all Mike can think about. He slips his phone out of his pocket before handing it to you and stepping away to give you a little privacy.

You’re crying when he returns, and it breaks his heart because he fucking hates seeing you upset. He wraps his arms around you, clasping you close, his palms soothing over your back as you bury your face into his shirt. It’s been two months since you saw your baby girl and he can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now.

“Sorry.” You murmur, drawing away and wiping at your cheeks with the back of your hand. “She’s just got so big since I last saw her. Joe’s going to bring her home when we’re finished up here.”

Mike smiles sadly, his thumb ghosting over the apple of your cheek.

“Mi Vida,” He says, his voice breaking just a little. “You know we need to talk about our other little one.”

You’d discovered you were pregnant again three weeks ago. It had started the same way it had with Leah, exhaustion, constant nausea, tender breasts. You were hoping it was the stress of the op but then you’d missed your period. You couldn’t believe it when that test had come back positive.

“My vasectomy failed.” Mike had told you during your last check in with him. “I checked with my doctor; all this time we’ve thought I was firing blanks, but we’ve been playing with live ammo.”

You both know what this means. There’s a very real possibility that Leah might not be Joe’s daughter and if that’s true…

It would be devastating for all of you.

“I’m scared.” You whisper, your hands smoothing upon the space where your new baby resides, the one that you and Mike made together. “All those fumes and chemicals…”

You had tried to be as safe as possible during your time in captivity, but you were cooking eighteen hours a day. You have no idea what you’d been exposed to during that time, how it might affect your unborn child.

“I know.” Mike says quietly, his forehead coming to rest against yours. “I’m scared too.”

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#law and order svu #svu #law and order: special victims unit #law and order special victims unit #mike duarte #joe velasco #maurice compte #mike duarte x reader #mike duarte x you #captain mike duarte #jose velasco

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eightmillionyenvase · 3 years

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Tamaki would want you to drink water and sit up straight

#kyoya would try to sell you host club water bottles #drink your water you weeb #shitpost #tamaki suoh

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yonkimint · 2 years

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All I Need Is Me [Namjoon x Reader]

21. Marriage 101 ✎

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Namjoon lifts his eyes from his phone, mortified at his brother’s text only to find y/n trying not to choke on her own laughter. When she meets his gaze, she can’t help the melodic sound that falls from her lips and Namjoon can’t help the simultaneous blush of embarrassment and wanting to laugh with her.

“C’mon, Joon,” she teases when she finally reels herself back in, “We did a lot more than kiss, you know!”

The blush painting his cheeks creeps up the back of his neck and floods the tip of his ears. So she does remember that part of the night? He’s been so caught up in keeping his own complicated emotions straight, he hasn’t had time to wonder how y/n feels about all of this. His stomach twists.

What if he’s been leading her on?

She lifts an eyebrow when he doesn’t laugh at her comment. “I’m only teasing. What’s wrong with you?”

“y/n,” he breathes, “I don’t remember last night.”

Her lips part in a silent ‘o’ but then she shrugs, “That’s okay, we were both drunk. Why is your brother teasing you about it anyway?”

Namjoon frowns at her, “Do you remember last night?”

“Maybe. It doesn’t matter.”

“It kind of does,” he starts but they are interrupted by a waiter coming to take their drink order. They make a point to only order water and then Namjoon is staring her down again. “If last night was bad or if I hurt you or if you didn’t like it, I need you to tell me.”

y/n rolls her eyes, “Do you think I would still be anywhere near you if that were the case?”

His stomach sinks further. So he has been leading her on. She seems to catch on to his line of thinking because she’s shaking her head, “Oh god. Namjoon, I’m not, like, in love with you either! Us sleeping together was fine but we were drunk and it didn’t really mean anything, yeah? Can we just talk about getting divorced?”

“Annulled,” he corrects her, just as the receptionist at Chapelle du Jardin, where they discovered they did indeed get married, corrected him several times before. y/n scowls at him.

“Annulled,” she parrots derisively.

“What do you want to do? We should definitely get a lawyer involved but would you rather wait 90 days when the new marriage certificate comes and just take care of it quietly or is this something we need to get resolved as soon as possible?” Namjoon asks.

The waiter returns with two waters and asks if they are ready to order. y/n, having just eaten a buffet of lobsters, gestures to Namjoon who orders quietly before handing the menus over to their now clearly displeased waiter. y/n makes a note to tip him extra so he doesn’t think they’re cheapskates taking up one of his tables.

“Can you stand being married to me for 90 days?” she asks.

“Well, that depends,” Namjoon says, pausing to sip from his glass.

“On what?”

y/n feels her muscles coiling. If he tries to ask her about last night again and if she liked it or not, she is going to combust. But it could be worse. What if he asks her why they got married in the first place? It’s not like they didn’t walk right past the place where they decided to tie the knot. Why didn’t he ask her then?

“Will you perform our song with me at the end of this week?” he asks. This is not the question she was expecting but it doesn’t make her relax either. She blinks at him.

“You listened to the song?”

Namjoon nods. “It was beautiful. Your voice is beautiful.”

Now it’s y/n’s turn to blush. She used to love to sing. If she’s being honest, she still does but the idea of getting on a stage, of letting strangers decide if she’s good enough, fills her with absolute dread. She shakes her head. “No, that’s not gonna happen.”

“Why not? Do you really have stage fright?”

y/n swallows hard but nods. It’s not exactly stage fright but she can’t tell him the truth of it without sharing more of her personal life with him and from their brief history together, she knows her personal life is not something he’s interested in.

“y/n, I literally watched you get up on a bar last night and put on a show like you were the center of the universe. You can’t tell me you’re too shy to sing one song,” Namjoon presses. She narrows her eyes at him.

“That’s different. I was drunk,” she reasons.

“Then what if we get you drunk again? Would you perform?”

She quirks an eyebrow at him, “Do you trust me to put on a competition winning performance when I’m drunk?” He grimaces. It doesn’t take more than a few hours of seeing her intoxicated to know how terrible of an idea that would be. He’s a little ashamed he even suggested it.

“You’re right,” he admits, “but why are you afraid? You obviously have the talent and the passion and the personality for performing so why are you saying no?”

“Well thank you,” y/n says and, truly, she means it, “But it’s a long story and it doesn’t matter. You’ll have to find someone else to sing.”

Namjoon pouts, “I wish you never asked me to listen to it then. I was ready to give up on it until I heard you sing.”

“Wow, you’re welcome, I guess!” she snaps, despite the deep warmth curling in her belly at his compliment. That her voice would have the power to move rap sensation Kim Namjoon means more than she can articulate, “So if I don’t sing, does that mean you can’t handle being married to me for 90 days?”

“No,” Namjoon says, a sinister smirk coming to his lips, “I can handle it. The question is, can you?”

Warning bells sound in her head. There is no reason either of them wouldn’t be able to handle 90 days of being legally married. It’s not like anyone knows about them or is expecting them to behave like a couple… but then, she remembers Twitter.

y/n’s eyes widen and suddenly Namjoon’s stupid grin makes sense. “You wouldn’t.”

“It’s just, if we have to play it off like a publicity stunt anyway,” he says, “we might as well really sell it!”

“I thought you wanted to get rid of me!” she hisses.

“Oh trust me, I do. And it’s my understanding that you want to get rid of me. Unless your whole rant about being single forever last night was a big front…” he trails off.

“It’s not,” y/n snaps, “Relationships are exhausting and limiting and I have better things to do.”

Namjoon shrugs, “well, then it’s both in our best interest to part ways as soon as possible and wouldn’t it be great if those 90 days of waiting were spent apart, each of us living our own lives?”

“Yes,” she agrees, “So let’s just do that!”

“Except, it’s also in my best interest to perform this song with you. I could probably get someone else to sing it but it won’t have nearly the same emotional impact. And if I can’t have that, I guess I’ll have to settle for 90 days of annoying the hell out of you,” he says.

“Do you hear yourself?” y/n asks, trying very hard not to screech, “You kicked me off your team because you thought I was trying to sabotage you in a competition that you joined solely to compete against me in the first place and before that, you decided you hated me for an accident and now you’re blackmailing me?”

Namjoon purses his lips, “I wouldn’t call it blackmail exactly. Just a negotiation.”

“How about I don’t sing and instead I spend 90 days showing you what me being annoying is really like? You’ll be begging for the annulment LONG before our time together is up!” she counters.

The waiter appears with Namjoon’s food. He doesn’t stop long enough to wonder why his customers are glaring at each other. That’s just how things are in the restaurant business. He just hopes they don’t start throwing dishware at each other like the couple this morning.

“It’s your choice,” Namjoon says, unrolling his silverware and placing his napkin in his lap. He looks smug there across the table, swirling his fork in a mountain of pasta. y/n presses her lips together, fighting the twitch in her eye.

“Fine, hubby, but Marriage 101 is sharing food with your wife,” she replies, reaching across the table to snatch the fork from his hands and shoveling spaghetti into her mouth.

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ribombeee · 3 years

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dni if you: are or ever have been a fan of aot, don’t eat honey, hate ppl talking during movies, prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate, have ever referred to urself as a weeb, go to sleep before 1 am, only consume media thats in english, have ever had an rpf phase, know what gacha means, are over 5’7, follow celebrities on social media, follow meme pages on social media, are open about hating spicy food, like to drive, have a bathroom attached to your bedroom, have a fridge with the freezer on the bottom, have ever purchased chik fil a, understand how snapchat works, hate pigeons, hate children or babies, hate old people, hate spiders, dont sleep with stuffed animals, dont ever drink water, dont have anything taped to ur wall, have never stolen anything, dont believe in cutting or dyeing hair at home, will correct someones spelling in a text, wash ur hair every day, own 3 or fewer chapsticks, dont pick up coins when u drop them, find dolls creepy, have ever snapped ur fingers at someone, can snap ur fingers properly, own clothing from brandy melville, think british accents sound cool, leave ur door open when ur in ur room, have ever had a playlist or pinterest board named “vibes”, make ppl guess ur middle name, hate documentaries, or have ever purchased or even considered purchasing youtube red

#oh hello i found this in my drafts but i dont remember writing it #anyways she (me) was right #this is a joke 2 b clear most of these things r fine objectively #talk tag

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batlingsstuff · 3 years

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|| DREAM SMP HEADCANONS ||

✧─── ･｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

hello! this is my first time doing headcanons, and i just want to clarify some things:

sadly, i won't be doing requests because i'm busy af with school and i dont want to dissapoint anyone, but you can drop some suggestions and i would think about it! it would be really nice :)

also i won't be writing romantic headcanons for minors or those who are uncomfortable with it, but i can do platonic headcanons for them! ^^

i won't be doing nsfw headcanons either, because i'm uncomfy with sexualizing real people and just writing nsfw in general :)

also, please tell me if someone is uncomfortable with fanfics and/or headcanons and i will erase that part as fast as possible, thanks for passing by! - batling

✦ means platonic

✦ characters : ranboo, tubbo, tommy, philza, techno and jschlatt

♥ means romantic

♥ characters: quackity, wilbur, nihachu, dream, george, sapnap, eret, karl, fundy and bbh

keywords:

(y/n) : your name

(n/n) : nickname

(p/p) : pizza place

✧─── ･｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” – John Green

┌────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┐

SLEEPOVERS

---

GENDER NEUTRAL

└────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┘

♥ Quackity

oh boy

i just have two words for this one: pure chaos

he will punch you with a pillow if you try to sleep

and you will be MAD at this

grabbing a pillow and hitting him RIGHT IN THE FACE with all your strenght

he'll probably fake cry about it, saying that you hurt him

after a while of pillow fighting, you guys got tired and plopped into the bed, snuggling into eachother and just enyoing the comfortable silence before drifting to sleep

♥ Wilbur

you two will probably blast hamilton and scream the lyrics till the neighbours wake up and you get angry knocks at your door

and you will laugh at that, lowering the speaker's volume and telling him to lower his voice aswell to avoid your neighbours calling the police

then you'll eat snacks and talk about anything that pops into your mind, laughing at the most silly jokes

he will sing sweet songs to you, making you fall asleep to his calming voice

summary: fluff

♥ Nihachu

you and her will bake pastries at a very late hour

she REALLY enjoys baking with you bc she thinks it's a great way to spend time with you

all this girl wants is to spend her time by your side, doing particularlly anything like streaming, baking, playing games and going outside for a walk and/or shopping

once you finished baking, she will kiss your cheek multiple times. that's her way to tell you that you did a great job :)

you'll spend the rest of the night cuddling, eating your pastries and watching some random movie, commenting about how bad it is and laughing

♥ Dream

bruh

this bitch will speedrun the sleepover

is it possible to speedrun a sleepover? maybe

you'll spend the rest of the night probably playing uncharted 3: drake's deception in his old ps3

after a while, you guys got bored from uncharted and went to his pc to play amnesia: the dark descent

there are 2 options:

you will be scared as fuck and will avoid looking at the screen when you think something bad will happen or when some body will come out from a drawer

or you will be totally chill with it, laughing hard when clay pisses his pants for real when he encounters the gatherer

you named the gatherer 'bob' :)

♥ George

he'll take you to the rooftop

and pushes you so you fall to your death

i mean

he gets blankets and pillows so you can stargaze together

he'll teach you the constelations while pointing them, excited about every single one of them

"look (y/n), that's the ursa major!"

he'll have hot chocolate prepared too, so you don't get cold while stargazing

you try your best to not fall asleep on the rooftop

but eventually fail

when he notices you're asleep, he stops talking about the constellations and carries you to your bedroom, giving you a goodnight kiss and leaving you in your bed so you can have a peaceful rest

♥ Sapnap

hey mamas

i don't know what sapnap will do in a sleepover so i will just improvise B)

you will watch anime together

not any kind of anime, like that romance-comedy bullcrap

no fuck that

you will watch the classy angsty anime like madoka magica

WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY

you will fucking cry because of literally anything that happens to the characters

"(y/n) why are you crying it's just a show"

'IT'S NOT ANY SHOW SAPNAP IT'S FUCKING MADOKA MAGICA OF COURSE I'M GOING TO CRY'

the last chapter made you fucking cry harder

AUTHOR HERE I WAS CRYING SO MUCH WHEN IT ENDED

yeah you will basically watch anime with him, cry about it and he will comfort you and bring you a glass of water so you don't have a terrible headache after it

I KNOW THIS HEADCANON SUCKED I'M SO SORRY

♥ Eret

KINGG <3

you two will plan a picnic in your yard

yes your yard

he'll bring a ton of snacks and you'll buy a few drinks

you two spend the rest of the picnic talking about your future and enjoying the snacks

then, he'll make you stand up and will teach you how to dance tango

and of course you will mess everything up

and you even stomped on his feet accidentally, making him wimper

but he brushed off the pain and laughed at your concerned face

after calming down his laughter, he gave you a passionate kiss and hugged you tightly

i love eret ok

♥ Karl Jacobs

this man.

this man is the definition of sweet

you'll spend the night cuddling and making cute pet names for eachother

he will definetely give you a great back massage if you're stressed

then he'll start writing love letters full of things he adore of you

and you'll do the same for him

after that, you will share your letters and just snuggle and smile at the sweet things you guys wrote for eachother

he will deffo shower you with kisses when he finishes reading your letter, telling you that you're the nicest person on earth

and that he loves you so so much

♥ Fundy

i'm a huge fundy simp ok

he will bring his piano to your house and you guys will compose a melody together

he will let you sit on his lap while you play the piano/keyboard with him

fundy will basically teach you how to play basic piano songs

you asked him if you guys could play megalovania together

he said no :(

but still you got to play nice songs together without messing up

and when you got the hang of it, he snuggled his face in your neck and kissed you there genly

and when you got tired, he started playing very calming songs and you fell asleep in his lap, snuggling into his chest

he gently carried to your room and will sleep beside you putting a fair distance so you can have a comfortable sleep!

♥ BadBoyHalo

bbh supremacy

he will get rat ready so you can snuggle with her too :)

you guys will mainly play with rat and talk about life in general

he will call you tons of cute pet names

ofc he will call you muffin it's bbh who we're talking about

he will talk about how bad he wants to spend the rest of his life with you

after a while, he will take you to his kitchen and start making muffins together

he will guide you on how to bake 'em though

you guys had a great time making muffins and cuddling with him and rat :)

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════

✦ Ranboo

tall mf gives the best piggy back rides

when he gets to your house there is a 100% chance he will bump his head on the door frame

and there is a 100% chance you will make fun of him because of that

"(y/n) please stop laughing my head hurts :("

you'll give him some ice to put on his head while you two play minecraft on your ps4

you will bring snacks too and ask him if his head is better

"yeah, thank you (n/n)"

he will pull you in a hug so you can be comfy together while you play good ol' minecraft

because ranboo surely doesn't play anything besides fucking minecraft

stfu that video of him playing spooky's jump scare mansion doesn't exist

✦ Tubbo

SWEET BE BOYY <3

he will gift you a bee plushie

expect a lot of (FRIENDLY) hugs from him

like fundy, you guys will play piano together

you guys are most likely to prank call some random numbers AND your friends

and you accidentally called some random pizza place

"hello! this is (p/p), may i take your order?"

you were nervous and didn't know what to say

UNTIL YOU CAME UP WITH A GREAT IDEA

"hello? are you there?"

'hi yes, i would like to order 7 extra large pepperoni pizzas to (tommy's adress).'

"oh- okay! uhm- they will arrive in a few hours. are you okay with that?"

'yes ma'am, thank you.'

when you ended the call, you couldn't help but burst out laughing, knowing that tommy will be so mad at you guys-

✦ Tommy

like quackity, PURE. CHAOS.

you guys will obviously stream your sleepover

doing a q&a stream :)

tubbo and wilbur will probably crash your stream and start spamming things like 'MEETUP??' and 'DIDN'T GET AN INVITE'

you guys laughed and added them to the call

"WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU GUYS INVITE ME?" wilbur shouted

'i'm sorry willlll'

you kept playing minecraft with wilbur, tubbo and quackity too since he crashed your stream like an hour later

after the stream, you got up and plopped on the mattress that was on the floor

"tired?"

'yeah'

"okay, good night big (initial)"

✦ Philza

POG

YEAHHH SLEEPOVER WITH THE MINECRAFT GOD

AND KRISTIN'S THERE TOO :)))

and oh god you ADORE kristin

i'm pretty sure she's a total sweetheart

it would be like having a sleepover with your parents

only that it's less boring

you guys will watch a movie together, you will be in one side of the couch eating snacks while phil and kristin are in the other cuddling

you'll eventually bug them about it

after the movie, you fell asleep early and philza noticed, talking to kristin about it too

and wrapped a blanket around you so that you get a good rest :)

✦ Technoblade

mr. blood god teaches you the arts of the CRAFT.

yeah i mean it's techno what else does he play besides minecraft

he will play bedwars w/ u, teaching you how to pvp

"bro you kinda suck tbh"

'stfu techno'

he will comment about how bad you are, but tries to help you get better anyways

and when you do a very poggers gamer move, he praises you

and when he praises you you're all :)))

after awhile, he gets tired from watching you play minecraft and suggest watching anime

fucking weeb

i mean

other thing you guys do together in a sleepover is playing and commenting about pokemon

if you don't like pokemon get tf out of here /J

i was joking please don't leave i respect your tastes

✦ Jschlatt

ooooh boy

get ready for a session of wii training

that's all you guys will do

play wii sports and some other shit like wii music

he will laugh his ass of if you fall while playing wii fit

but he will eventually help you bc outside his funny and shouty persona, he's a really chill guy and a really nice person!

seriously like have you ever seen a theweeklyslap video?

well expect hearing amazing pep talks from him

bc this man is a legend and knows his way to words and is very good at comforting people :)

sometimes you'll rant to him about anything that's happening in your life, and he will listen to you and give you really helpful advice

and you appreciate him so much for that

✧─── ･｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

TYSM FOR READING GUYS, i appreciate it if you made it this far :)

i hope you guys really enjoyed these headcanons, it's my first time doing them and aa i'm a bit nervous about posting this but i'll be fine ig

also i'm sorry if there's a grammatical error, english is not my native language and i'm still learning it :) have a nice day/night, drink water and don't fuck up your sleeping schedule!!

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