#don’t get me wrong this can be platonic but I’m mentally Ill so I’m tagging the ship regardless | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mcrmadness · 3 years

Text

This is just me talking about (my) asexuality and aromanticism and mainly about how I figured I'm aroace. I'm from Finland and recently turned 30 so my experience and "lgbt+ history" might not be what you know it as, especially if you are not from Europe, or if your native language is English.

Also this is highly personal, so I doubt anyone here will have 100% same experience. But that's fine because remember: we're all individuals here and these are NEVER universal. You're still valid even if you wouldn't relate to what being aspec is to me.

It might be IS a long post so beware, but I've just been feeling like writing down some thoughts so here we go...

What I have been able to track is that I was 17, in 2008, when I first stumbled upon the term "asexuality". I don't remember exactly how, but I just remember reading about it and immediately going "yeah that's me". But what I do remember is that no one talked it being about sexual attraction. Basically how understood it was: asexuality = sex-repulsion.

I was 17, and somehow I knew I was sex-repulsed, but at the same time also thought I'm just a minor, so it's normal to be sex-repulsed. But even after turning 18, I don't recall ever feeling sexual attraction. I didn't think of myself as a "late bloomer" but just as someone who just has no interest towards sex. At some point I became really anxious of men, however. Nothing has ever happened to me* but still I, for some reason, developed terrible fear of men. I'm afab and just did not want to be seen as an object, and it made, still makes me, terrified to think someone might look at me and have Emotions. I know that we can't control our brains, I mean, I can't look at someone and force myself to feel attraction - just like those who do feel attraction, can't force themselves to stop feeling attraction. They can only control their actions. But yeah, I also had horrible (sexual) intrusive thoughts due to my generalized anxiety disorder at some point, which did not really help. They got a bit better when I came into terms with my asexuality and aromanticism, but sometimes they still come at me and it's never fun, but at least they're not as strong as what they used to be.

*(Unless if you can count that as sexual harrasment when, CW, I was 11 and a classmate was "into" me and tried to touch my face and talk "sweet things" to me but made it into a show despite me being uncomfortable and usually crying cos as a neurodivergent I didn't know how else to react.)

But anyway, back to the topic. So for years I understood asexuality as sex-repulsion, but I guess it's because I, well, am a sex-repulsed ace. So if I'm sex-repulsed, why would I then look at someone and feel something if I'm repulsed by the thing anyway? Like, it probably can't get any simpler than this :D And I know today that it's not as simple anymore. But that was 2008, at school (in ~2005) they only talked about gays a little, on one page in a sex.ed. book that otherwise was maybe 100 pages long. Only one page. About gays. And it was basically "Some boys like boys or some girls like girls and it's totally fine." and that was it, but the overall assumption was that everyone likes someone. And also there were no romantic orientations. Liking someone = both sexually and romantically. Not liking = not a thing except when you were depressed or otherwise mentally ill, or autistic or mentally disabled (which is a SUPER ableist take btw). I don't remember teachers ever talking about this, but it could also just be my adhd, maybe they did mention, but I just don't remember. At least in my notebooks there is no mention of this, everything was very much heteronormative and amatonormative, and also there was only two genders. I don't remember ever hearing about transgender people, apart from foreign documentaries and in them they were always portrayed as some shocking freaks of the nature, and loads of wrong terms were used. And this is still the mid and late 2000s we're talking about!

So this takes us to the other part aka aromanticism. Back then asexuality was not only sex-repulsion but also merged together with aromanticism, because people didn't talk about romantic orientations yet. So asexuality was not only sex-repulsion, but also you simply just not wanting a relationship. Again, nothing about attraction, just someone who did not care about sex nor relationships. A "forever single", if you will.

This was already annoying me a lot back then because I was really annoyed by sex "running the world". I was so angry because why is asexual the only sexuality that doesn't like sex? All the other sexualities had the assumption of them always wanting to have sex. Like, even think about someone who is straight, you hear that someone is straight, and you automatically assume(d) that oh they're into sex too cos why wouldn't they be. This was really driving me nuts because I was sure there are people who want to have a partner, but never want to have sex! I was still experiencing crushes, and I knew for sure it was nothing sexual, so it annoyed me that just because I'm asexual, it means I can't have crushes. That's why I actually called myself as "asexual bi" for a while, because "bisexual" indicated I would have not been sex-repulsed and I wanted to point out that I'm NOT into sexual things, at all - and remember that this was still the late 2000s or early 2010s and I had not heard of romantic orientations yet! So I was up to something, there just were no terms for that yet! Today that would be called bi-/panromantic asexual.

I haven't been able to track the exact date or even year when did I figure out I'm aromantic, or when did I hear about romantic orientations for the first time. From the messages I've been able to find, I was already in my early 20s. Aka somewhere around maybe 2011-2013. In those, I have still been wondering what I am or if I even want to have a relationship, not being really able to tell what I wanted or didn't want. Again, no one told me romantic orientations are about ATTRACTION and not about whether you have commitment issues or not (this as a half-joke, cos I have severe commitment issues with everything :D I need to feel free!).

Anyway, I do remember my key moment with aromanticism, or the "aromantic awakening" as you could call it too, was when I was 17 or 18. Or maybe I was older? I don't know, I have time blindness. Anyway, I had this one online friend I had a "crush" on (I think it was just undiagnosed adhd's person hyperfixation) and I even told her about it. Everything just is super shady, from those years, I was not really on my best and there are so many overlapping memories that feel like different alternative universes instead of memories on a same timeline. Anyway, I just remember at some point thinking about this girl and I thought about some "romantic" stuff, like kissing, and I just remember my brain going "NOOOOOPE!" I had wanted to meet with her some day so bad, but when I started thinking about actually meeting with her, I started to nope the fuck out. All I had in my head was awkward embarrassing "first kiss" scenarios from movies and I just was not having it! I basically went "lol I guess I'm aro too, then XD" but I still don't remember when did I have this realization. Was I 17? Or was I, say, 22? I guess I need to go through my old MSN Messenger and Skype convos some day to investigate this further because I really want to know. I couldn't even find anything from my Tumblr from those times (I registered here in 2011), but I don't know if that's just me not tagging or Tumblr search functioning normally (aka it never finds anything).

But yeah, I am touch-repulsed. And kiss-repulsed, and romance-repulsed, too, (unless it's my OTP we're talking about). I'm still not exactly sure if I'm touch repulsed because I'm aromantic, or if I'm aromantic because I'm touch-repulsed. I only know that because of my sensory issues (I'm neurodivergent), I have never liked touching nor being touched. Even as a little kid I hated hugs and never liked sitting on anyone's lap. I only tolerated my parents, mainly my mom, because they were my safe place as an extremely shy baby/toddler/kid, who was especially wary about men. I can't explain the latter, but there was something about adult men that caused me (as a baby) to hide my face against my mom's shoulder if they talked to me. I did that to everyone I didn't know, but especially to men I didn't know. No idea why.

I also remember how my siblings loved to sit on people's laps and were always climbing onto their laps, and I didn't like this. And once my (late) grandma was so touched when she asked me if I want to sit on her lap (I was maybe 5-7?) and I agreed just to make her happy. I still remember how it felt, and I did not like it at all, but it still made my grandma so happy that I THINK she almost cried when she told my mom I actually agreed to sit on her lap. I'm not sure how real this last part of the memory is because I was so young. But I do remember thinking I do that for a change because I knew my grandma would be happy.

So yeah, my touch-repulsion is not exactly a new thing but just something that has been a part of my personality forever. But is that the core reason for why I only feel aesthetic attraction? I never look at people and feel like I wanna touch. More of the opposite, the idea of having to touch them or them touching me makes me go "eeewww". If you have seen that video of a gibbon shaking their whole body after seeing a rat in their exhibit? That's what I feel like when I think about touching or being touched, in just any way, also platonically.

The only time I feel "sensual attraction" is when I see photos or videos of animals. The urge to pet a tiger is insane. But the feel of another human's skin or muscle (or hair or whatever) is very repulsive to me.

I still remember how disgusting it felt to e.g. sit on a cousin's lap. We sometimes used swings like this, and somehow I was aware of it not feeling nice, but still not doing anything about it cos it also was okay? Only later I have realized I really, really loathe the texture of human skin. Or the warmth and overall feeling of a human body. For example, I was at least 7 or younger when I sat on my cousin's lap while we were sitting on a swing and STILL, after over 20 years, I have that all in my body memory. I remember how the thigh bone felt under my legs and how freaking disgusting the muscles felt inbetween. Also at school, on the 1st grade, we often had to walk in a line of twos after the teacher and hold the pair's hand so no one gets lost. My then-friend had so ridiculously dry skin that the only thing I could think of was how I felt like throwing up because the skin on her palm felt so damn disgusting. I still can feel that in my hand when I think of it. That's one of my "core memories" from 1st grade - how disgusting the human skin can feel like.

I don't think I have ever felt actual romantic attraction towards anyone. It's really difficult to differentiate because as I mentioned, I get those people hyperfixations easily. I guess it's the same hormones but I never really want to do anything with them? I guess it's the emotional intimacy that "attracts" me and what gets me excited, but I'm still not exactly sure what emotional intimacy means to me. I don't exactly fall into the QPR category either, in a way I wish I had a best friend whose best friend also I would be, and that neither would have anyone else who is "better" than the other one. But the only intimacy there would be emotional intimacy, nothing else. And I need my freedom so I wouldn't move in with any human being, either.

Sometimes I've thought my "ideal partner" would be a robot because if I get annoyed, I could just turn it off and stuff into a closet and leave there, and if I felt like not having a "relationship" anymore, I could just remove the harddrive and destroy the robot, or both. That way I would be the only one with the memories, and I wouldn't have to worry about someone out there knowing things about me, things that only the closest can know, and I'm really afraid of letting anyone close in case it won't work (also with regular friendships) because I can't stop thinking about how much I wish I had that MIB memory cancelling device so that they would again know almost nothing, or at least much much less about me. There's already one friendship that ended a few years ago and I still keep thinking about how I wish I could take everything back and how I wish they delete(d) all the files and drawings and stuff I sent them. There are so many things about me I wish I never told them, now as we are no longer friends. Back then it felt like "of course this is gonna last a lifetime!" but turns out that nope, not all friendships will.

I guess it's time to stop rambling. This post is really long already. If you read it all the way here: congrats. And thanks. You probably just wasted your time but... that's on you I guess :DDD But yeah, some thoughts from a 30-years-old aroace who has been aware of their identity for at least or almost 10 years now.

#mcrmadness' deep thoughts #asexuality #aromantic #aroace #aspec

7 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Okay, so my ask was about fanfics where either John or Sherlock hallucinates and sees the other one after him (allegedly?) dying. As in, actually hallucinates, not mistakes a real one for a hallucination. Have you encountered anything like that?

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: hi! i hope you're doing fine! i feel really bad for asking, but i really suck at searching, and as i see everyone asking you, i wanted to see if you could help me, if you dont want to, its fine, i feel like im taking adventage of you... im searching for fics post TRF in which John hallucinates with Sherlock, or fics in which Sherlock comes back but John cannot believe it because he hallucinated with him ... im sorry again for bothering you! hope you have a nice day

Hi Lovelies!!

Ahhh, I don’t have a LOT that have this premise, so I’m just going to give you all of the fics I have tagged with hallucinations :) I do suggest “The Quiet Man”, which has this as the primary plot point (down below) and it’s a long one so I think that will best suit you requests, but DO check out all of the others on this list! <3

And as always, Lovelies, if you have something more to what my Nonnies are looking for, please suggest them!

HALLUCINATIONS

Hallucinations can't open doors by Bespectacled dreamer (K+, 1,330 w., 1 Ch. || Reunion, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Hallucinations, John’s Wedding, Light Humour) – In which John gets married and Sherlock gets a broken nose.

Quite Contrary by Hollyesque (T, 1,805 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Sherlock Whump / After Mary Shot Sherlock, Hallucinations / Flashbacks / PTSD, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Lestrade POV, ) – A short one-shot, alternate scene to Greg's hospital visit in HLV. Instead of Sherlock disappearing, Greg is faced with an unexpected reaction to a hospitalized Sherlock and winds up figuring out something that he really would have rather not known.

Bitter Nights Turned Sweet by Hyliare (T, 4,076 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Insomnia/Hallucinations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV Present Tense John Watson, Cuddling/Snuggling) – Sherlock has always had trouble sleeping; he hasn't always had someone in his life willing to help.

Between Asleep and Awake by katydidit (K, 4,309 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sick Fic, Post-TRF / Reunion) – John is sick. Incredibly, extremely, dangerously sick. Plagued by a high fever, he begins to hallucinate, start seeing things that aren't really there. Because they can't be there. Can they?

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch. || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w., 15 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock's death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he's hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn't stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty's web, BAMF-style.

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination?, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series (possibly Imaginary Friend)

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

The Quiet Man by ivyblossom (E, 157,369 w., 58 Ch. || Post-TRF, John First POV, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Present Tense, Imaginary Sherlock) – "Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #hallucinations #Anonymous

116 notes · View notes

lady-plantagenet · 4 years

Note

What are your thoughts on Jaime x Cersei, Jaime x Brienne, Tyrion x Tysha, George x Isabel, and Henry VIII x Anne Boleyn? (Sorry for the long list!)

Glad to see someone else feeling charitable and letting me vent my unsolicited opinions 😂. Saved the George x Isabel for the last cause I’m sure it will be the longest lmao!

Asked Via: Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/627331607624302592/send-me-a-ship-and-ill-give-you-my-brutally

Jaime x Cersei: Despite it’s fundamental flaws, it is... titillating to read. The idea of people falling in love with their own other-gender counterpart is twisted yet so intriguing. I must confess that I am not as disgusted by incest as most people, so bear that in mind. The thing is, Cersei is definitely a narcissist with a lot of internalised misogyny and this ship just feels so justified to her character.

The issue is, and as the books go on, it becomes quickly clear that Jaime’s love is not as deep and as his appearance changes, and they no longer look identical Cersei’s own mental image, Cersei’s love also wanes and then you’re hit with how shallow it was. So I ship these two... but I also don’t because they’re toxic? Honestly, book-wise I am intrigued to see what will happen, if they end up together... or they don’t... either way I’m sure it will be quite a ride. You see, I’m not emotionally invested.

Jaime x Brienne: Oh the Sapphires... Obviously anyone who cares for Jaime’s wellbeing would want him to end up with Brienne as opposed to Cersei. I read this interesting theory recently on how these two don’t actually love each other but confuse their strong platonic feelings of affection for romance. You see, that’s also an interesting take as both characters are quite bereft off opposite gender friendships.

However, I strongly ship them romantically as well, Book!Brienne (hey show as well!) is truly admirable because based on her choice in men e.g. Renly, you can see how she had still not given up on her maidenly fantasies and I just love her for that, because true love isn’t something to which only pretty women are entitled. She in many ways represents salvation for him as she being a true knight in spite of her gender, can veer him back into the path of chivalry. He is most chivalrous around her, I mean, not only because her good conduct influences but also because he performs some of the most knightly deeds by cause of her e.g. rescuing her from the bear pit. I like this ship, it’s a good trope subversion.

Tyrion x Tysha: I find this one of the more heartbreaking ships of ASOIAF, because to me it represents Tyrion’s loss of innocence.

She is a haunting figure because of how small remnants of her memory were enough to pull Tyrion into the toxic relationship he had with Shae e.g. she too hard dark hair and there was music around when he met her. Its one of those weird (as @omgellendean put it in her brutally honest ask tag answer - a character who consists of only a name), but unlike Ashara Dayne, she is not idealised and given this over-the-top tragic story. So this elusive Tysha is an entity by what she symbolises: foregone youth and a sweetness that has no place in the ASOIAF universe.

Henry VIII x Anne Boleyn: As I said in my last ask. I cannot tolerate the romanticisation of infidelity, and that is especially when the male’s spouse is a wonderful woman fit for him and has done nothing wrong. I don’t have strong feelings against Anne Boleyn herself, as I prefer to see her as ‘Anne the Educated and Sophisticated Reformer’ as opposed to ‘Anne the Seductress’. Ugh let me just say... rule of thumb for whether it’s a good pair: Do thousands have to die for your selfish desire to be together? Yes? Then probably not meant to be. Just a thought.

I think Anne knew her own mind and I like to think her strong beliefs influenced her decision to breach this marriage (no I didn’t think she was her father’s pawn gah I’m sick of that term), but they were ultimately unsuited in everything and it was a passion brought about by Henry’s caprice. My heart breaks when I think on how Anne could have been happily married to Henry Percy. I’m also tried of this whole ‘master manipulator of men’s hearts’ reputation Anne is getting. You do realise refusing to be a mistress was not being a tease as much as it was just being a conventionally virtuous woman..? The girl knew her worth.

George x Isabel: Oh god. I promise to not start writing an essay. As weird as it is to ship dead people, they are my OTP, the main characters of my main historyfanfic, and frankly the most unsung couple of TWOTR. The fact that there are no records of letters or any particularly over-the-top romantic gestures by either of them, just intrigues me more because it was very much a relationship defined in subtle deeds. If you peruse the more academic TWOTR literature you can see all the fine but conclusive evidences of a devoted relationship: He posthumously enrolled her in a guild when he stayed there with his children (months after she died), he was buried together with her and her ancestors not his, how during 1470 he sent her to Exeter for her safekeeping while her mother and sister remained at Warwick and when a siege broke out he (and his father-in-law) immediately rode south to lift it and the amount of expenses and care he put into her funeral. Not to mention, the hassle it took for them to get married: years of trying to get a dispensation underneath the king’s nose culminating in them having to cross the channel.

The thing is, it had a lot of politics behind it and to be honest I don’t find that less romantic. It was one right for both of them: for the wealthiest heiress in England and the handsome younger brother and heir of King Edward - truly no one else would do for any of them. One of the things that grabs me is the medievalness of it all, how they were bound together by what was essentially a plan to reverse the country’s inevitable transition out of ‘bastard feudalism’. You also get a sense of how this marriage despite the ultimate failure of its purpose (to make George King) brought George the chance to establish himself as a major magnate through his wife’s lands which ultimately became his main source of power as opposed to his royal status. The relative peace that ensued after 1472 shows that his status as Warwick’s political heir (as Christine Carpenter put it) did something to placate the disapointment of not becoming king. So the way I see it, Isabel’s death took from him any of the satisfaction and peace she brought with her lands and persona as he once again reverted to his old (even more than before) reckless self. Not to mention the people he executed after her death in his grief believe in her to have been poisoned (most historians believe that’s unlikely).

Aside from that, in a society where pretty much everyone strayed (even Anthony Woodville had a bastard daughter), it is quite heart-warming how the man known for his treachery, happened to be one of the only ones loyal to his wife: no bastards or women were ever linked to his name not even in rumour. As for Isabel, she is quite a shadowy figure but you get the sense she was intelligent because of the care her father took in preparing her as his heir, because of her wealth you get this sense of majesty and significance about her. The two times we can deduce anything about her personality is a true supporter of her husband: once, when deciding to treat with the Yorks behind her father’s back to reconcile George to them, second, remaining steadfast to George when he tried to squirrel her sister Anne out of her inheritance. Based on the homage she paid to her ancestors, she seems proud of her ancestry so it’s quite intriguing to think why she made the aforementioned two choices, endangering her father and sister in favour of her husband. And oh god I’m rambling, I can say even more if you can believe it but I shall stop. Overall, one might think I’m wishful thinking but frankly Anne and Richard are touted as star-crossed lovers all the time and with even littler evidence to support it (not that I don’t ship them, I do). I might be subjective, but the story of George and Isabel’s life is just so compelling...

28 notes · View notes

collapsingintojupiter · 4 years

Text

Philosophy and Hot Chocolate

And look who’s back with some more dumb fanfiction rambles

ha, yeah, that would be

this bastard.

@just-perhaps wanted to see the braincell boys debate, so I bring you all this. You’re welcome.

Characters: Logan, Deceit (sympathetic), Roman, Patton, Virgil.

Pairings: None. Just platonic all around here.

Warnings: Alcohol mention, and Idk of anything else? Let me know if you’d like something added tho.

It was getting late in the diner. For Logan, that was nothing new. He just sat quietly at his booth by himself like he always did, absentmindedly stirring a cup of black coffee with a spoon and ignoring the creamer that was in a tiny metal bucket near his mug. Few customers remained as per usual at this hour, which meant that the place was finally, relatively quiet.

For a cutesy diner, things got interesting here after about 10pm. All the nice pictures crowding the walls became dark with shadow after the sun went down and the lights dimmed, and the little knick knacks began to look like haunted artifacts from their perches around various shelves in the main room.

Logan liked that about this place. When the night got old everyone else was gone, but the diner still remained open like it always did, dutifully serving its customers clear into the next morning. The night shift had started a few hours ago now; but one lonely staff member standing behind the bar with a few of the usual drunks. They’d be leaving soon enough when they got too rowdy to stay, and then finally he could have his silence.

Then the door opened.

Logan looked up as a strangely-dressed character entered the diner, a bowler hat topping off his honey-colored hair, tanned skin, and sharp green eyes. A thin scar ran up from the left side of his mouth to the base of his ear; a mouth that was currently twisted into something that looked like a smirk as he slowly sauntered past the empty tables, then slid into the booth across from Logan.

“You look bored,” he said.

“I’m not.” Logan glanced across the table at the stranger, who was wearing a yellow shirt and black jacket over top. He looked like a hornet. “Interesting clothing choice,” he commented.

“I might say the same about you.”

Logan glanced down at the black shirt and tie he currently wore, then raised an eyebrow.

“Fair enough.”

“Hey Logan, can I get something for your friend here?” Both turned as a new character approached, this one with curly hair that hung over round glasses and a light blue apron. His name tag read Patton.

“You’re a regular here,” the other man said.

“And you’re not.” Logan looked over at Patton. “Can we get a basket of fries?”

“Of course!” Patton smiled at him, then turned to the hornet man. “Can I get you anything, sir?”

“Iced tea. Unsweetened.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Patton flashed them a smile and left, humming something to himself as he disappeared into the back room. The stranger raised an eyebrow at Logan.

“Fries?” he asked.

“I don’t see why not.”

“It’s almost midnight.”

“Says the one ordering iced tea.”

“That’s not the same.” Logan only shrugged, automatically reaching up to adjust his glasses.

“Maybe for you it isn’t.” He yawned, turning as Patton returned to the table with a small red basket of fries, offering the waiter a nod as it was set down in front of him.

“Thank you, Patton.”

“Sure thing! You guys just let me know if you need anything else, okay?”

The stranger reached across the table as Patton returned to his station by the bar, grabbed a fry, and took a bite.

“I like these,” he decided after a moment, and reached for another one.

“Do I get a name?” Logan asked.

“No.”

“Very well, Diogenes.” The other man sipped at his iced tea.

“A famous cynical philosopher. Touché.” He smiled a bit behind his drink as Logan reached for a fry. “My name’s Dorian.”

“Logan, as I believe you’ve already heard.” Dorian nodded to him, then took another fry.

“I was correct in my guess that you were educated.”

“Oh?”

“The only people who frequent these places at this hour are either genius, drunk, or mad. Because you clearly aren’t drunk and you don’t speak like a churchish pig, genius is the only category I’m left with to define you by.”

“You forgot a category,” Logan stated, sipping at his coffee. He took a fry, looked at his drink, and dipped it in his coffee before trying it. Too bitter. He made a face and sipped at his coffee again, trying to wash out the weird taste in his mouth.

“What would that category be?” Dorian asked, looking amused at Logan’s unsuccessful flavor combination.

“Desperate. And perhaps...adventurous, though those show up rarely. Even they sleep.”

“Desperate falls under the category of mad, I believe. Adventurous certainly does.”

“How so?”

“Mad with desperation, for example. That is a thing, you know.” Dorian took another fry. Someone in a far booth gave them an odd look. He looked drunk, though he had no beer in front of him and hadn’t been to the bar all evening.

“I am aware of that phrase. However, it all depends on your definition of mad, and your definition of desperation,” Logan countered. Dorian smirked.

“Tell me more.”

Logan tilted his head, then shrugged and adjusted his glasses again. This wasn’t the strangest thing that had happened to him by far, and he saw no harm in rolling along with the visit of this strange “Dorian” character as long as he remained civil. Which, so far, he had.

A waltz started to play quietly in the diner.

“For starters,” Logan said, pulling on his ‘teaching voice’ as he began, “the phrase ‘mad with desperation,’ as you put it, hinges on the definition of both words, not just the one or the other. Madness can mean anything from insanity and psychosis according to some, to mental illness, to mere eccentricity, which by psychological definition is not mad, but merely different from the norm. Desperation, on the other hand, can mean several different things as well. Someone desperate to use the restroom, for example, may come here to relieve themselves. Or on the other end of the spectrum, someone fleeing a toxic or abusive situation may wish to seek temporary shelter here. You would not call them mad, would you?”

Dorian leaned back, sipping at his iced tea.

“I suppose I would not,” he conceded at last. “You intrigue me, Oh-One-With-The-Glasses.”

Logan hummed his reply, then looked aside. “Ah, more visitors. I thought he’d come over here eventually.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare...” The man who had been watching them earlier now spoke up, standing behind Dorian with a partially apprehensive, partially embarrassed expression. A red and white varsity jacket hung from his shoulders, which were slumped with what Logan guessed to be exhaustion. “Ah...does your table have room for one more?” Dorian and Logan exchanged glances.

“I suppose so. Who would you like to accompany for this fine conversation, Logan or myself?” Dorian asked. The new character looked between the two, then sat next to Dorian, who obligingly scooted over to make room.

“I’m Roman,” he said as he sat down, his face blushing a delicate shade of red. “You guys... uh...you seemed interesting, I-I guess.”

“We met less than ten minutes ago,” Logan stated bluntly.

“Ah, but that’s the fun part!” Dorian grinned at last, looking between Logan and the new visitor. “See, the reason that drunks, geniuses, and madmen all visit this place at this time is because the line between each is so thin, it may as well not exist at all.”

“I don’t drink,” Logan said.

“For some of us, anyhow.” Dorian looked over at Roman. “And where do you fall in this category?”

“You two are insane.” Roman shook his head, reaching for a fry. “But...I couldn’t get to sleep, for some reason. Figured I might as well go somewhere rather than toss and turn all night.”

“Madman,” Dorian said with a nod, chuckling at Roman’s half-tired, half-outraged expression.

“Ha,” he said. “I guess you’re not wrong.”

“You’re sleep deprived,” Logan said.

“Eh,” Dorian waved his hand, which had a yellow glove on it that Logan hadn’t noticed before. “Same difference, right Roman?”

“Falsehood. Just because the majority of a population believes in a fact or observation does not make said fact or observation correct. For example, the geocentric theory was believed by the majority in some places for hundreds of years, until science proved them wrong.” Logan crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Therefore, your statement is invalid.”

“I’m not following,” Roman mumbled.

“Don’t worry about it.” Dorian locked eyes with Logan and grinned again. “This has been much more invigorating than I had expected...I like you,” he announced.

“Just like that?” another voice asked.

“Patton!” Logan spun around, and the waiter tilted his head at him. “You...you startled me.”

“Oh, sorry!” Patton held up his hands, still smiling cheerfully (how did he do that at this hour, anyways?). “It’s just me! My other customers left, so you guys are the only ones still in here.”

“You’re bored,” Dorian stated, and Patton nodded.

“Welcome to the table.”

“What is it with you and inviting people to a table that’s not yours?” Logan asked as he scooted aside for Patton to take a seat next to him. “Some people would consider that to be bad manners, you know.”

“You’re not ‘some people,’ however, so that statement is redundant.”

“...Fair point.”

“You guys are insane,” Roman said again.

“Everything is insane depending on how you look at it.” Dorian looked at his empty iced tea, then shrugged and grabbed another fry.

“Do you want a refill?” Patton asked.

“I’d like that.”

“Can I have hot chocolate?” Roman looked up from where he’d been staring at Dorian’s gloves, tilting his head slightly.

“Sure!” Patton got up and quickly disappeared into the back room, returning a few minutes later with the ordered items. Roman sipped at his hot chocolate and nodded.

“This is good,” he announced loudly as he set his mug down. “Good hot chocolate.”

“A real philosopher, are you?” Dorian asked with an amused look.

“No philosophy, only chocolate.” Roman hugged his mug close to him and began whispering something at it. Logan raised an eyebrow.

“So...you wish to debate?” he asked slowly, locking eyes with Dorian.

“Pick a topic,” Dorian answered, leaning back against the booth. “Whatever you want.”

“Oooh, this is gonna be fun!” Patton grinned, reaching for a fry and munching on it while he watched. Logan leaned back in his seat as well; looking at Dorian; considering his offer.

“Human morality,” he said at last. “Tell me your opinion.”

“You choose a fascinating topic. Kudos to you.” Dorian sipped at his new glass of iced tea.

“It’s useless and we’re all gonna die,” said a new voice.

“Did I advertise a party over here?” Logan looked over at the new voice, who belonged to a grumpy-looking character with purple-dyed hair and eyeshadow-smudged cheeks.

"Hey Virgil!" Patton said cheerfully. "What brings you here from the back?"

"Boredom," was the answer. Virgil pointed at Roman. "And that idiot's shouting."

"You just don't understand chocolate," Roman declared, looking up from his mug. Virgil rolled his eyes and adjusted the patch jacket around his shoulders.

"Scoot," he said to Patton, who obligingly moved over so he could sit. Logan made a face as he retreated to the corner of his booth to make room, but didn't object.

What a night this was turning out to be.

"As I was saying," Dorian said, waving a gloved hand in the air as he spoke. “Morality. That certainly has a fascinating role in society, does it not? After all, without it we wouldn’t have a society.”

“And we’d all be dead,” Virgil added. Dorian glared at him.

“Not my point.”

“You believe that morality is necessary to form a society?” Logan asked.

“I believe it is necessary to form a society such as the ones we humans live in, yes.”

“Fascinating.” Logan leaned back against his booth, automatically reaching up a hand to fidget with his tie.

“Mmmm...chocolate,” Roman murmured into his mug.

“I mean, think about it,” Dorian continued, glancing at Roman but ignoring his dramatic proclamation. “Without morality, we would have no system of justice, which can only logically produce anarchy. The system of ‘strongest wins all’ would be the only system, larger governments couldn’t possibly form, and so on and so forth. Morality is necessary for the existence of society, and also beneficial to those who know how to exploit it.”

“Which is why it is not the groundwork of society, but a mere addition,” Logan cut in. “After all, society cannot exist without structure, no matter how advanced the morals of its citizens are. Logically, people will naturally come together for the benefit of the group, and a system of justice would arise by itself in order to preserve the good of the many. Therefore, morality isn’t necessary for justice at all; rather, it can actually hinder it due to the actions of those with morals that are considered to be ‘bad.’” He leaned forward and took a sip from his tea with a smirk, watching Dorian for a reaction. The other man grinned at him for the third time that night.

“Well done, Logan,” he said. “I applaud you.” He raised an eyebrow. “So, you believe morals are unnecessary?”

“They are for me.” At last, Logan himself grinned, sliding the bill over to Dorian and standing up.

“Checkmate.”

#logan sanders #deceit sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #alcohol mention #fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides

71 notes · View notes

mattygraygubler · 4 years

Text

our campus: chapter 8 (tom holland fic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: drinking, drinking, more drinking, mentions of sex

word count: 2.6

a/n: sort of a cliff hanger at the end???? we’ll see what happens!

as always texts are bolded

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

You slowly opened your eyes and were immediately confused. You were in your room, but you felt someone’s arms around you.

You drank almost an entire bottle of wine last night, so needless to say, you didn’t really remember anything. You didn’t think you slept with someone… But did you?

The body groaned, but you still couldn’t figure out who it was because the lights were off and blackout curtains closed. You pushed their shoulder a bit and heard a british voice say “Whaa?”

“Tom?” You asked incredulously.

“Good morning, darling,” he said. His voice was raspy and low, so incredibly sexy.

“What are you doing here? Why are you shirtless, where are my pants?! Did we- ohmigod tell me we didn’t…”

“You don’t remember?” He asked and you shook your head, still very aware that his arm was around you and your legs were intertwined. “Relax, we didn’t have sex, love. We just hung out and then watched a movie and fell asleep.”

“Then where’s your shirt?” He laughed.

“You’re wearing it. You were cold and wouldn’t let me leave the bed, so I gave it to you.” You bit your lip, very uncomfortable. It was one thing to sleep with someone and not remember it, but to spend the entire night cuddling? You weren’t a couple, who does that?!

“Oh. I’m sorry.” You said and sat up, untangling your body from his.

“What are you apologizing for?” He asked.

“I mean… I’m your tutor, we’re just becoming friends, it’s weird for us to-to sleep in the same bed together and-”

“Y/N, slow down. We’re friends. It’s really not a big deal, totally platonic. I mean, c’mon, you’ve never slept in the same bed as Kyle? Or Emily?”

“No, I have…” “Then what’s the big deal?” He asked.

“I guess there isn’t one…” You replied. Tom swung his leg over the side of the bed, stretching and getting his stuff together. You couldn’t help but watch his back muscles flex when he stretched. You wanted to run your fingernails along it.

“I gotta take care of some stuff, I’ll see you later today?” He asked. You nodded.

“Sure, I’ll see you later. Wait, Tom!” You said before he could walk out the door.

“Yes?” He turned back to look at you.

“You’re, uhm… You need your sweatshirt back.” You started to take it off.

“I’m only going down two floors. You look comfy anyway.” He said and smiled at you before walking out.

You lied back down in bed, picking up your phone and checking the alerts. You scrolled through all the drunk texts from last night, laughing at a lot of them.

♡girly girls♡

GUYS

whaaaaaat em

GUYS GUYS GUYS

em what happened

NOTHING HAPPENED

YET

CHECK THE WEATHER REPORT

You rolled your eyes and checked the weather report, unsure of what she was referring to. It was the first weekend in February, so you weren’t expecting your weather app to show you a 100% chance of snow starting in a few hours and lasting until Monday night.

THATS RIGHT LADIES

SNOOOOOOWWWW DAAAAYYYYYY

Y/N we’ll be over at 9 to play games, iz you and i are goin to grab the booze, em youre in charge of food

You

what am i in charge of?

dont you have homework? plus were using your room, we can take care of all the stuff

are we inviting anyone else?

thank you for asking i would love to invite harrison

im fine with that if i can invite cal

Cal was the nerdy boy from delt who Isabelle was seeing. It was really low key, they’d only gone on a few dates, and things hadn’t gotten physical yet.

Y/N! invite tom and we’ll make it a total delt nite !!!

You

yeah ok ill invite him. were gonna be studying anyway.

wow i expected more push back

You

were friends now, it wont be weird. its not like its a quintouple date

it is if one of those delt boys has a gay sister

not interested. besides i doubt more than 7 people can fit comfortably in Y/N’s room

You

fine ill see you guys tonight.

You hopped in the shower, putting on a pair of leggings and a cropped sweatshirt. You decided to text Tom.

You

hey so it looks like its gonna snow i was wondering if we could work at my place instead?

also ive been told to invite you to our game night tonight

Tom

interesting, because i was already invited

what took you so long Y/L/N?

You

sorry i was in the shower

Tom

likely story

but yeah that sounds great ill see you in a few hours

A few hours. That’s plenty of time for you to put your glasses on, earbuds in, and really focus on your homework.

* * *

You were pulled from your law reading by a knock at the door. You opened it, seeing Tom in a soccer tee shirt and gray sweatpants. His hair was wet and he ran his fingers through it.

You hoped he didn’t see the fact that you bit your lip, but you couldn’t help yourself. He just looked so incredibly sexy.

“You look... “ His eyes scanned your body and you immediately wrapped your arms around you, insecure.

“What?”

“No, you just never wear stuff like this in front of me. You’re always so put together.”

“Your point?”

“You look cute, that’s all.” Tom said and walked into the room. He thought you were cute? No, you needed to calm down, he’s the biggest player ever, he didn’t mean anything. Just some accidental flirting.

“I brought tequila, Harrison said it’s your favorite.” He said and dropped his backpack on the floor and put the tequila on the table where you kept your booze.

“That’s sweet of you, thank you, it is my favorite.” “Really? I thought he was joking.” “No, why?”

“You’re just… you’re really something else, Y/N.” He said with a laugh.

You grabbed your notebooks and started the session, you checking his homework, him redoing the mistakes, and you answering any questions he had about the material.

“You’ve definitely made an improvement,” you said as you finished reading his essay on the power shifts in England from the 1600s to today.

“Thank you? I think?”

“You’re welcome. You’re almost there, but you’re still not incorporating this source correctly.”

“That’s because that source makes no sense. The writing is so convoluted, it’s mental!”

“Then why don’t you find a new source?” You asked.

“Well… I thought I’d be easier if I just stuck with this one.” Normally you would have rolled your eyes at that, but instead you found yourself laughing.

“Read it again,” You said and handed him the library book he was using as his last source, “And if you still can’t understand it, I can explain it or we can just find a new source.”

You grabbed your own book, Rage Becomes Her, which you were reading for your Women, Politics, and Public Policy class, and started highlighting right where you left off.

You both got lost in your books, highlighting and annotating in silence. Every once in a while Tom would stop to ask you about a particular passage.

It was another hour or so before you both heard a knock on your door. You got up to open it, and as soon as you did Emily burst into the room, Harrison right behind her holding three pizzas.

“TOM!” Emily said and tackled him in a hug. “It’s so good to see you again!” “I didn’t realize you two had met,” you said and helped Harrison with the pizzas.

“Just once,” Tom said with a laugh. He made himself comfortable on your bed instead of the floor, Harrison took a seat on your comfy chair and Emily made herself comfortable on his lap.

“I better leave this unlocked,” you said. “I would offer you guys a drink, but Isabelle and Ally are-”

“Did someone say something about a drink?” Isabelle said, pushing the door opened.

“What’s up bitches,” Ally said and put a bottle of wine, svedka, prosecco, and a 30 on the booze table.

“How long do you guys anticipate this storm lasting, because that is a LOT of booze for 7 people,” you commented.

“Lighten up, babe, it’s not like we have to drink it all tonight.” Isabelle responded.

“Better to be safe than sorry.” Ally said with a mischievous grin. They greeted the others in the room when you heard a knock on your door.

“I heard there was a party happening here?” Cal said as he pushed open the door. You closed it all the way behind him so no one else could stumble in.

After everyone introduced themselves to each other, Harrison said “So what does everyone want to play first?”

“Oh, you’re new.” Ally said. “See, we kinda of have an agenda.” “Is that so?” Harrison asked. Emily kissed his cheek. “Tell me more.”

“Well the first time we had a snow day, we took turns picking our favorite games, and then we just stuck with that formula. First is A which means kings,” Isabelle said. “Then Emily, which means never have I ever. Then me, which means truth or dare. And then Y/N.”

“And what does Y/N pick?” Tom asked.

“Y/N picks poker, of course. But most of the time were too drunk to get there.” Ally said.

“Yeah I really got the short end of the stick there. It’s a good formula, though.” You replied and grabbed a deck of cards and a beer.

“Let’s go, boys and girls.” You said. Everyone sat in a circle, the beer in the middle like you were worshipping it, and you spread out the cards in a circle around it. You saw Tom and Harrison exchange a look across the circle.

“Something wrong?” You asked.

“Well… Don’t judge us, but we’ve never played this game before. They don’t have it in England.” Everyone else laughed quietly at Harrison’s statement.

“It’s easy. Everyone picks a card, and each card has an action assigned to it. Ace is waterfall,” You said.

“Two is you, so you pick someone to drink.” Isabelle said.

“Three is me, so you drink.” Cal said as you went around the circle explaining the rules.

“Four is floor, so the last person to slap the floor loses.” Emily said.

“Five is guys,” Ally said.

“Six is chicks,” You said and the circle started again.

“Seven is heaven, so last person to touch the ceiling drinks.”

“Eight is date, so you pick someone and whenever one of you drinks the other has to too, for the rest of the game.”

“Nine is rhyme, so you go around the circle saying words that rhyme and the person who can’t continue the rhymes drinks.”

“Ten is categories, so it’s the same as nine but with a category of something, like animals.”

“Jack is never have I ever.”

“Queen is questions, so the next person who answers a question they ask drinks.”

“And finally, king is the ruler, so you make a rule that everyone has to follow until the next king is pulled.”

“Make sense?” You asked.

“Not one bit.” Tom responded.

“You’ll get the hang of it, I promise it gets easier.” You said. “Al goes first.”

“Why?” Harrison asked.

“Gay goes first.” The four of you said in unison. The boys looked scared. They had no idea what they had gotten themselves into.

“One last rule. First drink is a shot of your chosen poison. After that, you can drink whatever you want.” You explained as Isabelle gave each person a shot glass and the handles of hard liquor were passed around.

“Four,” Ally said and everyone slapped the floor except Tom and Harrison. Harrison realized first, so you watched as Tom downed the shot across the circle. He tensed his jaw after, which made you wet already. When he saw you looking at him, he winked at you.

Your turn was next, so you quickly pulled a card, a six, so you and the other girls did your shots and then began to pour yourselves your chosen drinks. For you, that was a second shot of tequila and then a rum and orange soda.

“Two.” Isabelle said with a grin. “I choose our kings sponsor, miss Alexandria Park.” Everyone whooped as Ally dramatically took a sip of her beer.

“Five,” Cal said. The boys took their shots, except Tom who took a sip of his beer.

“My turn then?” Tom said and drew a card. “Eight. Which one is that?”

“Date. You pick someone and for the rest of the game whenever one of you drinks, the other has to too.” Cal explained. Tom looked around the circle, but you already suspected who he was going to pick.

“Y/N,” he said. “Would you care to be my date?”

“You’re exhausting, Holland. What, are you trying to get me drunk or something?” That shut him up, right as Harrison said ‘seven’ and everyone reached for the ceiling except Tom, who groaned and complained about having to drink again.

Cal was the one who finally popped the beer and had to chug it. You put the cards to the side and everyone held up ten fingers, already ready for never have I ever.

Things started off innocent enough, with Emily sharing that she had never peed in a pool. By the time you all went once and it was Harrison’s turn, he made things more interesting.

“Never have I ever slept with more than 15 different people.” You and Tom were the only ones who clapped.

Harrison rolled his eyes. “Jesus fucking christ, it’s like you guys were made for each other.” He commented. Your face got red, which Emily noticed, so she went quickly next.

You finally lost, getting rid of your ten fingers before anyone else. You were always a bag of secrets, and Tom found himself learning more and more things about you he didn’t know. Like that you had a tattoo, or that you’ve gone skinny dipping, or that you’ve never had a gin and tonic.

You were all wasted, that was clear. Isabelle was in between Cal’s legs on the floor, leaning her back against his chest. Ally was lying on the couch all by herself, upside down. Harrison was in your big chair with Emily on his lap, and you and Tom were on your bed, you lying on your stomach and him sitting against the headboard.

“Isabelle, truth or dare?” Cal asked.

“Dare,” she said, looking back at him.

“I dare you to ditch your friends and come back to my room with me.” He said.

Isabelle shared a look with all of you before saying “Sorry guys, I’m not one to turn down a dare.” They grabbed the half-drunk bottle of prosecco on their way out.

“Al, truth or dare?” Emily asked. This went on until Ally passed out from drinking, still upside down.

“We’ll get her home.” Harrison said. He picked Ally up as Emily collected their stuff and bid you and Tom good night. You both sat in silence for a few minutes, when Tom’s phone lit up.

“Do you mind if I chill here for a while? I’ll stay on the couch if you want to go to sleep, but Harrison just said him and Emily want some alone time and her roommate is home.”

“Of course, I don’t mind.” You responded. You stumbled off the bed, going to pour yourself another drink.

“Ok, Y/N.” Tom said, moving so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Truth or dare?” You turned to look at him and saw a dark look in his brown eyes.

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss me.”

#tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #frat!tom

12 notes · View notes

moonlit-imagines · 5 years

Text

Rules

(Updated October 12, 2023)

**nobody has permission to repost my work**

How To Request <- READ THIS!!! Has request examples!!!

Gif Imagine/Headcanon Request Info <- this clears up a common issue with requests, please check it out if you plan on requesting!

The Basics

READ THE PINNED POST BEFORE YOU REQUEST. It has all of the information about blog essentials like requests open/closed and events, etc.

Send the character’s full name (+ fandom) and a prompt/idea to go off of.

Add the relationship between character(s) and reader (platonic, romantic, familial, etc.). You don’t have to say one of those, using terms like “sibling, child, best friend, dating, boyfriend, wife” and such are perfectly fine, just use some kind of indicator so I don’t have to guess!

One request per ask

I take requests, not suggestions. (ie. don’t simply say “can you write something for [character]?” “what about something fluffy/angsty/soft for [x]?”)

Do not ask me to choose between characters/prompts/fic types (this includes saying “x is up to you” or anything along those lines).

Include an imagine type in your request! (one-shot, headcanons, gif imagine, preferences, etc.) If one isn’t added, I may pick one at random, deny it, or delete it.

I do not write: polyamory, specified autistic!reader, most mental illnesses/disorders (excluding anxiety), NSFW material, real people, crossovers, OOC content, pregnancy, cheating, intentional large age gaps, yandere.

(some of the above i am not equipped to write for, some i find morally wrong, some i just have no interest in)

Continuations of fics will only be available if my post gets 100 notes within ~24 hours of posting. Please do not try to request continuations of older work.

Do not request anything that replaces a character with y/n. I’m not going to rewrite a story with little differences.

I typically try to write for a gender neutral reader, unless the story requires specification for some reason.

I’d like to stay inclusive, so avoid pushing unnecessary reader types for fics! (ex. twin!reader, fem!reader, son!reader, shy!reader, innocent!reader, etc.) This means that it should only be added if it’s important to the request!

Do not spam me with requests, please be reasonable! (3 requests max a day, it’s still spamming if you send several a few minutes/hours apart!)

Do not send a physical description for the reader.

I will only take requests sent by ask, but if you have a question beforehand about the request or it’s over the character limit, you can DM me your request. (Please send me an ask with your url if this is the case so that I don’t forget!).

PLEASE read the How to Request post if you need to see examples of requests and such.

Notes

Please respect if requests are closed, they will be reopened very soon. I will not hold your request until they reopen.

Don’t tell me how to run my blog.

I am not responsible for your feelings or shielding you from spoilers/triggers. I will do my best to tag things accordingly, but do not attack me for doing something you don’t like or forgetting.

You can ask if I got your request, but don’t ask me if I’ve started writing it or when it’ll be done.

Stressing this one. You may not request the same/nearly identical scenarios for different characters. This applies to fics I have just posted for you or requests sent at/near the same time.

Please check the status page if you’re unsure of what I’ve watched so far! (You may unknowingly send a spoiler)

Writing for minors is tricky, but I try to do it ethically! If a character is played by a minor, I’ll only write fics that are platonic, familial, or crushes.

Gif imagines do not get continuations, that defeats the purpose of them. The best I can do is a different fic type inspired by the original.

Random writing prompts/dialogue prompts will not be accepted unless I post or reblog a prompt list.

I can deny any request for any reason. Some topics can be inappropriate/sensitive, or I’m uninspired by the prompt.

You can always ask for tips and advice! But don’t ask me to write parts of your fics or make you anything for your fics. This includes OC aesthetics, playlists, and fics!

Special events are designated for special times! (ex. song prompts) They’re listed below!

I do gif imagines, one-shots/drabbles, headcanons, preferences, aesthetics, etc.

Message me/send an ask if you have any questions!

Special Events (only when announced): Ships, Song Insp., Playlist Shuffle, Playlists, Aesthetics, Fake Texts, Social Media AU, 5 Words, Writing Prompts, Love Letters, Holiday Fics, Alphabets (Fluff/Angst/NSFW), etc.

Read the pinned post “Blog Info” to stay updated on everything regarding this blog!

#rules

95 notes · View notes

edwards-shadow · 4 years

Text

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻.

repost, don’t reblog

basics !

FULL NAME. Pride PRONUNCIATION. Pry-d NICKNAME. Little One, Baby Brother, Monster, Freak He doesn’t know enough people to have many. GENDER. Male HEIGHT. 5′0″ AGE. 16-17 physical appearance, 2-3 living years ZODIAC. Unknown SPOKEN LANGUAGES. Amestrian

physical characteristics !

HAIR COLOR. Blonde EYE COLOR. Gold BODY TYPE. Lean muscle. Small. Not quite atheletic. ACCENT. Unknown VOICE. Soft, light rasp if he hasn’t spoken in a while, often flat but not quite monotone unless upset. Tone brightens when interested or happy. DOMINANT HAND. Right POSTURE. Upright but withdrawn, and will curl in on himself easily. Folded arms, hunched shoulders, knees drawn, whatever he has to do. Eyes often cast away from the person addressing him, usually down at the floor, especially if uneasy. TATTOOS. Ouroboros on his left shoulder/upper arm. NUMEROUS red lines and markings that cover his body. They are not symetrical across his body, he is extremely self-conscious about them and unless comfortable with the other person will try and cover them up.

BIRTHMARKS. Tattoos MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). Blonde hair and golden eyes, and the tattoos. (People tend to notice his appearance mirroring that of Edward Elric first, and the markings second)

childhood !

PLACE OF BIRTH. Central, Amestirs HOMETOWN. Central BIRTH WEIGHT. 126lbs BIRTH HEIGHT. 5′0″ FIRST WORDS. “Envy”, “Father”, “I’m sorry”

SIBLINGS. Envy(often referred to as his “Big Brother” despite not being the eldest), Lust, Gluttony, Sloth, Wrath, Greed(astranged) PARENTS. Father, aka The Dwarf in the Flask PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT. Father had next to no involvement in Pride’s life, especially not early on. He was checked in with to see how he was fairing in terms of learning his place within the family and in understanding his abilities, but was largely left without interaction from Father. More of a passive but intense monitoring of him form a distance that Pride very quickly was taught to fear and “respect” due to him having the title of “Father”. But did not fill the role.

Actual “raising” of Pride fell primarely to Envy, though Pride does not see him in a parental role, clearly putting a difference between “Father” and “Sibling”. A sort of imprinting also fell to the older being the first person Pride saw after his birth, which was only strengthened when Envy was given the task of looking after him.

adult life !

OCCUPATION. N/A CURRENT RESIDENCE. Tunnels under Central CLOSE FRIENDS. None (he has like one friend at present, and he doesn’t pick one over others) RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Single (verse dependant) FINANCIAL STATUS. With the homunculi pulling all the strings of the entire country, including taking the spot of highest authority and rank in Amestris, technically upper class. With how he lives and what he has to his name, probably closer to poverty(any and all Cenz he can find goes straight into buying food for his pet cat) DRIVER’S LICENSE. N/A CRIMINAL RECORD. Trespassing, breaking and entering, (supposed) impersonation of a State Alchemist VICES. “living in his head”, curiosity(to an extent)

sex and romance !

Note: He doesn’t exactly have a “preference” per say, but does have a very submissive personality. He has no interest in a domanant role however, because he doesn’t have many “dominant” like personality traits. Which he is perfectly happy and comfortable with.

LIBIDO. Extremely low TURN ONS. Expressed care and affection, patience, compasion, showing interest in what he says when he says something. TURN OFFS. PAIN, lies, excessive violence/aggression, LOVE LANGUAGE. Praise/reassurance, physical shows of affection (hand holding, cuddling, etc.) in both platonic or romantic realms. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. A lot of physical contact. Pride is EXTREMELY tactile with affection. Holding hands, hugging when he’s happy to see you, cuddling, the works. For both platonic and romantic relationships. If Pride lieks you and is happy and comfrotable with you, TRULY, he will reach out for you. Touch from a stranger will make him pull away, touch from someone he’s uncomfortable with makes him squirm. Touch from someone he fears makes him pull away violently and even yell. If Pride is coming over to regularly touch you, or isn’t pulling away from your touch, it is the ulitmate sign of “he likes you”.

There are few people he has in his life that he deeply cares about. But he cares DEEPLY when he does. When you are hurt and upset, he hurts for you that you are. When you’re happy, he brightenes up because you’re smiling. When you’re angry he wants to listen or soothe or will let himself take the brunt of it until you’re okay again. Love from Pride, in any sense, is full and complete. He will show you all parts of his world and he will be happy to see any of yours. He will never turn on you, he will take a bullet for you, but he would never ask you to do that for him.

miscellaneous !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. Lost Carol - Long Version(this is actually the song intended for any “lullaby” referred to with him. HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. Drawing, people watching, exploring MENTAL ILLNESSES. Depression(including self-harm and suicidal tendencies), PTSD, hallucinations(memories from Edward, and voices) PHYSICAL ILLNESSES. N/A LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. Right Brain(creative) FEARS. abandoment, being alone for long, not being good enough, loosing his loved ones, intense and prolonged pain, alchemists and the military, Edward Elric SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. Very low overall. Pride believes he is good at drawing, that he is good at being quiet to the point of being soundless, and being able to watch/listen without people knowing he is. Everything outsdie of that, is extremely low. He has next to no sense of self worth, and it has been taken advantage of more than once. He can be hit adn yelled at and he’ll apologize over and over but not raise a hand to stop it. Because he deserves it. He’s done something wrong to get this kind of anger so he must be bad. To make thinse worse, he is constantly faced with people thinking he is “Edward”. People call him that name instead, demand answers about a boy he’s never met before, people WANT EDWARD, “Pride” is just in the way. No one wants him, he’s convinced his family only puts up with him so long as he behaves and “is being good.” VULNERABILITIES. Emotional, nieve and easily manipulated, ENVY, The Boy in Red, his mental stability, curiosity, low pain tollerance, honestly wants to see good in people(and homunculi) even if it hurts him

Tagged by : taken from @alchemic-elric because it looked fun Tagging : anyone who would like to do this, you can blame me for it

#((headcanon))#((this was actually a ton of fun but now I feel like I have to do writeups to explain some of these in depth))

1 note · View note

your-anxious-nightmare · 5 years

Text

Adventures In Dad-Ing (12)

Summary: LOGAN’S BACK!!! Logan is in a bit of pain but superhero Roman to the rescue. Word Count: 2370 Relationships: Prinxiety, Platonic/Almost Parental Roman and Logan, Previous Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, (because I know this has problems, look up the tag ‘adventures in dading’ or ‘dad virgil’ on my blog archive and you’ll find all of them) Tags: @katatles-the-fish @karma-the-tax-collector @analogical-mess @rebeyerfdog (ask to be tagged xoxox) Warnings: Abuse mention, Blood mentions, Panic attack/Sensory Overload, I wrote it how I remember feeling it (i normally don't remember it) so it’s not necessarily accurate but be careful just in case. Ao3

Logan was a smart child.

He could recite pi to the 50th decimal, solve a Rubix cube in under a minute, and knew his 12 times tables.

He also knew his family wasn’t normal.

It wasn’t normal when his step-father locked him in the basement when he forgot to do the dishes or when his mother slapped him for speaking too loud. It wasn’t normal that his bed was a pile of old rags on a torn foam mattress or that he had to wear second-hand high neck sweaters to school even in the summer.

But he didn’t know how to change it.

He was scared to ask for help because he didn’t know what to say. He was scared he’d be taken away. He was scared they wouldn’t listen.

So he hid it all. He wore long shirts and claimed to be clumsy and only spoke when spoken too. He kept his interests to himself, learnt to sneak food after dark, made friends with the boy around the corner so he had somewhere to get away too.

Of course, there was always the Casey’s when he needed a hug or to get away for a few hours.

So after his father had stopped attacking him for burning their breakfast, he snuck out the door and headed down the road, wiping his tears with his sleeves and smearing the blood further across his dark skin.

As he walked down the street, he pulled his hood up to hide his face from the neighbours working in their gardens and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He probably looked more suspicious that way but at least they wouldn’t judge him too harshly.

When he reached the Casey household, Logan knocked lightly, waiting a few minutes before knocking again. But no one came.

So he sat on the doorstep, arms folded around his middle and tears quietly falling into the new cuts on his face.

He sat there for hours, slowly moving closer to the door as the sun made its way across the sky and left him in the cold, huddled against the wall and bored out of his mind. It was nicer there, alone, then it was at home so he wasn’t complaining.

It was 5 pm when a car pulled into the Casey’s driveway, Patton jumping out of the back before the car had even stopped and running to the ball of child he called his best friend.

“Logan!” The boy yells, falling to his knees in front of his friend, carefully unfolding his arms from around his knees and pulling him into a gentle hug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I just had to leave.” Logan whispers, burying his head into Patton’s shoulder and wincing as he brushes against his collar just a touch too hard. Patton looks up as Virgil and Roman climb out of the car, both with worried looks on their faces.

“Logan, you are always welcome here, no matter the time. I’ll put a spare key under the flower pot for you in case we aren’t here again.” The father walks over, kneeling by the pair of boys as Logan looks up. The blood had dried to his face long ago, eyes red from the tears that now stained Patton’s shirt as well as his own.

“Let’s get you inside to clean you up okay?” Virgil unlocks the door as the boys stand, Patton helping Logan inside to leave the adults to talk.

“Do you want me to go home, Virge?” Roman takes his hand, squeezing it lightly as he watches the man continuing to stare after his son.

“I think I’d like if you stayed, I just don’t know how Logan will feel. He doesn’t know you and he’s hesitant enough to talk about it with me, let alone a stranger.” He turns to face Roman, both concerned and mildly afraid. Without a word, Roman pulls him into a hug, holding him tight before Patton returns to the door.

“Dad, Logan said there’s some mail in the letterbox. Is Mr Phillips staying?” Virgil pulls away enough to face his son.

“Is Logan okay with him staying?” Patton just nods, a small smile on his lips. “Then, it’s just up to you.”

“Let’s go help your friend clean up while your dad gets the mail.” Roman lets go of his boyfriend and takes Patton’s hand, entering the house while Virgil treks across the yard. He waves at the couple next door, the youngest happily drinking coffee while their boyfriend tends to the garden, and takes the collection of envelopes.

Shuffling through as he walks inside, it's all the usual stuff. BIlls, promotions, a pamphlet for the pizza place in town. The last letter, however, makes him freeze at the door to the kitchen.

It’s a plain white envelope, with his name printed on the front and an ‘Urgent’ sticker across the top. He tears it open, finding a single sheet of paper and a piece of cardboard to keep it straight. It’s his court date, the first hearing for the custody battle over Patton.

It’s scheduled for a Sunday.

Could he get Roman to take Patton for the day? Tobias might be free to babysit, it is a weekend and one of his normal workdays. Would Remy be able to come along? Should he take Roman instead? Is he even allowed to take someone?

“Mr Patton’s Dad?” He looks up to see Logan at the counter, face cleaned up and a Hello Kitty bandaid on his cheekbone, looking at him curiously through broken glasses. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, Logan, I’m fine, it’s all good. How are you feeling?” He carefully slides the letter back inside, placing it and the bills in the folder on the bench, turning to the boy who looks at his hands with conviction.

“I am okay. Mr Phillips cleaned me up and made sure I was alright. He is very good at first aid. He and Patton have gone to find blankets to build a fort in the living room. They said you would not mind, do you?” He looks up, green eyes filled with a worry Virgil can’t understand.

“I think that sounds wonderful. Are you sure you’re alright with Roman hanging around? I know new people can be scary and he is a teacher so I would understand if you were uncomfortable.” Logan had once said that the teachers at his school were rude when he couldn’t take part in activities, and that none of them seemed to care that he either came to school in pain or just not at all.

“Thank you Mr Patton’s Dad, I’m okay. Patton said he is like a large teddy bear.” Logan laughs lightly as Virgil cackles, both happy to see the other smiling.

“You could definitely describe him like that.” Roman enters the kitchen with his arms stuffed full of various blankets and sheets, Patton trailing with even more, one thrown over his head so he can only vaguely see through the thin fabric.

“Come on, Papa! Mr Phillips said he knows how to build a better fort than us.” Patton laughs, turning to run from the room and hitting the wall, stumbling back into his Dad’s arms before being directed into the living room.

“Logan, are you coming?” Roman looks at the young boy still sitting at the counter. He nods slowly, climbing down and following him to the lounge where Virgil and Patton have claimed half the furniture and started draping sheets over it.

“I guess you’re on my team then, Little Einstein,” Roman smiles, starting on the fort and directing Logan to help him. Within only a few minutes, Patton falls through his and his dad’s fort, leading the two pairs to combine their efforts and collapsing in the middle with smiles all around.

As Virgil and Roman left to prepare dinner and Patton got distracted by a cat in the backyard, Logan couldn’t help but get lost in his thoughts.

This was a home where the father treated his son with love and respect, where outsiders were welcomed in with open arms, where everyone felt wanted. Yes, there is only one parent, but it’s a family no matter who is or isn’t there. It was warm and comfortable and safe. Nothing like his home.

Tears start to brim in his eyes as he thinks of having to go back. Sure, he could stay here the night, maybe two, but eventually he will have to return. He will have to face his mother and step-father, the physical beatings and verbal abuse. He can't stay in this eutopia forever no matter how much he wants too.

Or...

He could speak up.

Roman is a teacher, not his teacher, but still a teacher. Technically, if he hears about, or even really suspects the abuse, he has to ask. If Logan told him, he could tell the police or child services. He could get him out of that nightmare house.

But...

Logan's step-dad is a police officer- the captain, to be specific. No one would listen to the 'delinquent' son of his 'mentally ill' wife. That's what they were. He was punished for acting out, she didn't know any better. Or at least that's what he'd say.

Sometimes his mum hugged him after yelling, saying she was sorry and that she loved him, that it was for his own good. Sometimes she kissed his forehead or gave him an extra slice of toast. She loves him. Or at least that what she claims.

Logan hiccups a sob, hand slapping over his mouth to keep himself quiet and silently praying no one heard.

"Logan?" Roman's voice calls from behind the curtain of sheets next to the couch, the only path to the outside world from his cave. The boy doesn't reply, stifling his sobs and frantically wiping at his tears.

"Can I come in?" Waiting for the quiet affirmative, Roman slowly crawls in, looking up at the worried father in the doorway. He disappears into the tower of sheets, finding Logan curled up against the couch, eyes filled with terrified tears.

"Hey buddy, wanna talk?" Logan frantically shakes his head, hands tugging at the hems of his jeans, fingers rubbing over the fabric roughly. "That's okay, would you like a hug?" Another shake. "That's alright too. Is it alright if I just sit here?" The crying boy nods slowly, watching the man adjust his legs to sit comfortably. His tear-filled eyes track Roman’s every move, undeterred by the lack of air entering his lungs, more focused on the threat of pain.

His mother hated him crying, she hated hearing him sob or even hiss in mild discomfort. She often lamented about how ‘men shouldn’t cry, it’s a sign of weakness’. He had learnt to stay quiet and unseen, but this was inescapable. The emotions welling up so much they had to burst free no matter the cost.

They sit there for a while, Logan sobbing quietly into his knees as Roman waits patiently, quietly telling him some meaningless tale of his day. Logan slowly calms down, breaths coming easier as he focuses more on Roman's words than his hands, eyes locked on the teacher's face as his own hands stop frantically tugging at his clothing.

"How are you feeling now, Logan?" Roman carefully lays his hand face up between the two, watching the green eyes snap down to the offending movement. Logan looks up to Roman’s face, seeing the soft, welcoming smile before looking back down to his hand. Slowly and carefully, like a cautious wild animal, Logan reaches out, fingers brushing over Roman's skin before grasping his hand tightly.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk, you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. Virgil said you're very cautious around new people so I understand if you'd prefer to talk to him, or even Patton instead. But I want you to know that if you need an impartial ear, I am here to help. If you want someone to just listen, or give you advice, or anything at all, you can come to me as well," Roman laments, watching Logan's hand trail up his arm, fingers dancing over the now-faded scars that litter the tanned skin, before he looks up, tugging on Roman's sleeve. No words are exchanged, they don’t need to be, as Logan crawls closer to Roman, curling up in his arms.

Roman holds the young boy close, running a soothing hand over his back as he clings to him. Neither speak, both relishing in the silence and the warmth of the other.

Logan still feels scared, he can't help it. Roman is a man, much bigger than he is, holding him. He could easily hurt him, hold him too tight and suffocate him, crush him slowly, break a bone or four. But something about Roman feels honest. He feels safe and genuine and warm, though that could just be because he's holding him.

Roman is scared too. Logan has been abused, it’s obvious to anyone that spends even a moment near him. He holds the boy tight, but still loose enough that he could push away at a moments notice. He would hate to hurt him, physically or otherwise, but he wants to show the boy how love can be, how you can feel safe in the arms of an adult.

When they pull away, Logan is the first to move, sitting back on his knees and smiling at the teacher softly. Roman smiles back before holding out a hand, leading Logan into the kitchen where Virgil and Patton sit at the counter, dinner ready to be served.

Virgil dishes it up as Roman pours them all cups of juice and mugs of coffee despite the hour, Logan climbing up next to Patton and smiling at his friend as he holds his hand beneath the table.

The house quickly fills with laughter and stories, adults and children alike sharing tall tales and smiles over a meal prepared with love. Ex-families, custody battles and unsavoury thoughts are all set aside if only for the night, giving way to only love and happiness.

8 notes · View notes

solaciummeae · 5 years

Text

{ Laws of the Land: }

Please read these before interacting. (:

My blog is PRIVATE. Typically I prefer to write with MUTUALS ONLY but I am currently open to NEW INTERACTIONS. I usually write && talk with someone OOC for a while BEFORE FOLLOWING to make sure we vibe.

I’m HIGHLY SELECTIVE with PARTNERS/FOLLOWS. I’m trying maintain a cleaner dash this time around. sidenote: When choosing partners: Literacy is a thing. I understand typos but basic spelling and grammar are easier to manage than trying to mentally fix things as I go. I DO understand language barriers. But BOTTOM LINE: If I can’t understand what just happened in your post, I can’t reply adequately because I have nothing to go from. I also prefer people who are dedicated and interested in writing detailed plots. Moving the story along.

By stating that I am PRIVATE: I reserve the right to work on the things that speak to me the most at any given time. I’ve had a lot of stress this year && this is a coping thing for me. I will write what I have MUSE for. Typically I will NOT start something unless I know I have MUSE for it to avoid dropping THREADS && INTERACTIONS. I’m simply focusing on things that I have the most juice for. sidenote: This means that while I have a ridiculous number MUSES && VERSES, I’ll be sticking pretty close to my MOST ACTIVE LIST unless we have heavily established PLOTS && CONNECTIONS OR I have explicitly offered to give you a MUSE OR VERSE that is NOT on the MOST ACTIVE LIST. I post this list regularly, it’s easy to find on my blog.

My blog is currently on LOW ACTIVITY temporarily. There are a lot of things going on in my life right now. I am trying to be on as much as possible. However, I won’t be here 24/7, nor am I obligated to THREAD/POST/TALK all the time. It is not personal. I was just diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis && have existing severe mental illness. Some days just suck.

IMPORTANT: I have roughly 230 muses, 40+ verses, my blog is ALWAYS under construction. These projects are my passion, that’s why I have them. Don’t be a jerk and tell me maybe I should cut back. I operate how I operate.

My writing is PG-13 to Mature. It’s not always this way but violence, explicit language, substance use, etc. happen here. NSFW of all kinds. I’m 28 and will only write with adult partners. So 18+ only on this blog. IMPORTANT: I will NOT write SMUT with others. It may happen occasionally in drabbles I write. But not in threads. I don’t mind sexual references, headcanons, jokes, etc. But no threading with NSFW language. Fade to black for me.

The length of my writing tends to fluctuate. Para to multi-para mostly. You do NOT have to match me because sometimes I might not completely match you. Just how it is. Sidenote: Do NOT give me one or two sentences if I gave you a solid paragraph. It makes it really difficult to adequately reply. I might write a one liner starter, but it will ALWAYS grow.

On the topic of ORIGINAL VERSES && MY POST SERIES FANDOM VERSES: I welcome anyone to take part in my ORIGINAL VERSES or my POST SERIES FANDOM VERSES. PLEASE DO, that’s why I created them. However, do NOT steal my verses or post series for your plots. I work extremely hard to WORLD BUILD and develop these complex plotlines. DO NOT STEAL THEM && certainly DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THEM. I do not mind if you and another person involved in that verse or post series with me write for the verse or plot but do NOT just openly steal them && start writing them with other people I don’t even know. I work my ass off for this stuff. Don’t be gross.

GRAPHICS IN THREADS: I use ICONS &&GIF ICONS. They keep it cleaner looking && more accessible. IMPORTANT: I have a very large number of UNDERUSED FACECLAIMS. For this reason, DRY POSTING WILL BE A THING. I’m working to make resources, but it takes time. IMPORTANT: I AM HERE FOR THE WRITING NOT THE GRAPHICS. I should already know what your muse looks like if I’ve seen a picture and likewise, you can find pictures of mine. NOTE: If my muse has no resources, I will post a pre-designed icon of them at the beginning of the thread so you know what they look like. After which it will be dry threading.

I would hope that you would have ideas of your own. It works much better if we can feed off of each other and really go back and forth with plots than things being one sided. Sadly, this has happened to me a lot. Sidenote: We don’t have to come up with something first but it would be nice if there was an idea. However, I won’t ever turn away an intriguing starter with no back story. Though, I might ask questions to make my reply as accurate as possible.

DO NOT GODMOD. I should be the only one controlling my character. I really hate when people assume they know my character and get them all wrong. Or even insinuate some prior history I never agreed to. Sounds ridiculous? It’s happened. If there’s a time it’s needed, shoot me an IM. I’m totally good with that.

I’m EXTREMELY SELECTIVE when it comes to ROMANTIC SHIPPING. I’ve been burned way too many times. My muses are my babies. If they aren’t feeling it. I am not going to force it on them. You can find ALL of my MUSES romantic preferences on my MUSE DIRECTORIES including if they’re romantic shippable or not. I have several who are CLOSED. Chemisty. Chemistry. Chemistry.

IMPORTANT: I AM NOT HERE JUST TO ROMANTIC SHIP. I’m tired of only ever heterosexual romantic shipping– especially with my MALES. Come to me with bromance, familial, platonic, or enemy. I’m always looking for new connections to my muses. It helps them grow as people.

IMPORTANT: I heavily prefer LGBT+ romantic ships at this point especially as a queer writer myself. I’m real over the heteronormativity. If you come to me with a queer pairing I’m far more likely try it out.

IMPORTANT: Please give my FEMALES as much attention as you give my MALES. I’ve tried closing my MALES. I still get used for them. Especially to romantic ship. Treat my FEMALES the way you’d want yours to be treated. I’m always down for F/F interactions so we both win. I truly love female muses, I simply wanna get to use mine too.

Drama is pretty much a must, in the sense of the plot. I’ve had people tell me they don’t like it and that’s fine but without things happening, the story doesn’t really progress. IMPORTANT: However! NO DRAMA OOC. I worked with middle school kids for half a decade so my bullshit meter is super low. No OOC drama. No HATE. I DO have the following TRIGGERS: incest, rape, sexual assault of any kind, romanticizing the devil.

The first three are self explanatory. However the fourth has become really common with shows like Lucifer in existence. For personal reasons, treating the devil like he’s a cool guy is really triggering for me. I understand that his character from Supernatural is very popular. However, romanticizing him, making him seem like he’s “not actually a bad guy.” like he’s just “misunderstood.” or even “falling in love with the devil.” I can’t handle. If you’re writing him as a villain or enemy that’s perfectly fine. It’s really just the threads and content that romanticizes him that really really triggers me.

I’m asking that these things be tagged: tw: incest, tw: rape, tw: sexual assault, tw: devil friendly.

NOTE: If I ever post anything you need tagged with a trigger that I haven’t, please don’t hesitate to ask. If it makes you uncomfortable I don’t want you to have to see it. Typically I don’t post traditionally triggering content. But just in case, let me know.

Last but certainly not least, I’M HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS. Seriously. I want to get to know you OOC. You guys are my friends and I care about you very much. I love chatting. Likewise, I can make a great soundboard. If you need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate. You guys are so important to me. I’ve been on Tumblr roleplaying for about five years. But I’ve been roleplaying for about 13 years total. And some of my closest friends have come from writing with others.

These have been updated as of 10/08/19. I tried to make them more streamline and I really do appreciate you reading them. It makes writing together easier. If I find out you didn’t read them before interacting I will be less inclined to write with you. I read all rules before I follow someone or write with them so I expect the same courtesy. They are here for a reason.

Thank you!

💜💜💜💜💜

#outofthisworld #these have been HEAVILY redone and updated #I'm posting them due to the edits as well as for new followers and mutuals #rules #important #about: blog

1 note · View note

asynca · 5 years

Note

pt.1) Dear Asy. I want to break up with my girlfriend. This is kinda a big deal obviously- she's an honestly lovely and wonderful person I've just started to realise more and more that my love for her is platonic and she deserves far more than that. Plus I'm dealing with depression and her huggy positive approach to mental illness really doesnt help me like it would for others, it just overwhelms me. My issue is that we're both in the same friendship group and I am a very quiet shy person

pt.2) I’m worried that if we break up everyone will be forced to pick sides and as she’s the mum friend and im the quiet awkward tag alone girl I’ll be instantly sided against- which I guess is understandable but would just really suck, for all of us I think. I just really want us to still be friends. I love spending time with her but I cant do couple things! and when I’m having a down day and dont want to be touched she just doesnt get it, she’ll keep grabbing at me and hugging me and I’ll

pt.3) feel horrible and fragile by the end of it. Idk, what I’m asking is if you think theres a way to break up without it becoming the worst decision I’ve made in my life, destroying friendships and making her hate me. I’m so scared to do it because I have hardcore anxiety about just about everything and I’m worried I’ll make her feel like I’ve been faking it this whole time or that I’ve been using her idk!!! But I feel like I have to tell her because its wrong not to!? Idk I need some advice!x

Ah, yes: breaking up when you have the same friends.

Honestly, all of this is something you can discuss with her. I’m not sure how mature she is - hopefully, mature enough to understand that roping other people into you break-up isn’t the best decision for anyone involved.

If she’s not listening to you about “don’t touch me when I’m not feeling great”, I’m a little worried she won’t listen to you about other things as well,

Before you break up with her - really consider if now is the best time to make this decision. When you are depressed, sometimes you can’t trust yourself to make decisions in your best interest. Furthermore, it’s some times hard to feel ‘love’ as an emotion and a feeling when you’re depression so you lack of love for her might actually be related to your mental health rather than your capacity to feel love for her at other times. This is especially noteworthy if you’re in the 3-6 month time-period of a relationship, because (to drastically simplify it) the ‘lust/love’ hormone starts to decline during this time and is usually replaced by a hormone that promotes bonding. However, the bonding hormone is a much gentler feeling than lust-love and may not be recognisable if you haven’t felt long term love before, or if you’re not feeling well in general. Most young people (and some older people!) confuse the decline of obsessive, passionate lust as a sign they don’t love the person, without recognising it’s a normal part of starting a new relationship.

Anyway, TL;DR: when you’re depressed and if you don’t have much experience in relationships, you may not really be able to tell if you’re still in love with someone or not. Sometimes - but definitely not all the time! - it can be best to wait it out, give it 1-3 months, give it until you’ve been to therapy/tried new antidepressants, etc - to make the decision so you can be sure it’s just not Sad Brain talking.

If you have decided that breaking up is the best option, and you want to do it and keep your friendship group, there are a few things you’re going to need to lump.

You will see her a lot. She may cry, she may be angry with you (whether or not she shows it, you will know it). You will need to manage your reaction to seeing this (ie, your pain/guilt) in yourself.

You will need to find a friend separate to your joint group of friends to confide in. It’s not fair to be giving your friends all this information about you and how you feel because it will affect their friendship with her. Your ex will need to agree to do the same.

Your friends will ask you questions about the break up privately and you will, for the sake of both your friendships with them, need to politely explain that it’s between you and your ex. Your ex will need to agree to do the same.

It is very, very hard to be around someone you’ve broken up with so you’re going to need to put on a very brave face and not let your friends see this. If they do, they will try and ease your (or her) pain and their own discomfort by not inviting you both to be in the same place. This leads to someone being ostracized.

If things break down between you and your ex, people will probably take sides. You may lose out (especially as you’re the person choosing to end the relationship). Accept that now, so if/when it happens, it’s not a shock.

Start reinforcing new friendships with different people in the event that your current friendship group breaksdown or moves on without you. Even if they don’t - it’s great having more friends!

If a friend comes to you with something like “I agree with you”/”I’m on your side”, you need to stop them, and say, “there’s no side to be on. we’re both sad this relationship didn’t work but have agreed to stay friends”.

In terms of how to do this:

Make a time with your partner to break up with her face-to-face. Flag that it’s going to be a very tough discussion so she has some idea what’s going to happen.

Tell her everything you told me: you care about her, you love her but you’re not in love with her, and that it’s not going to work. Say that you’d like to ease the difficult with your joint friends by agreeing to both keep them. Promise you won’t make things difficult for her by confiding in your joint friends.

If she agrees to do this, negotiate together how this will work, what you both will do if friends try to take sides even though you don’t want them to (note: you may need to organise the logistics of this this a couple of days later than breaking up with her because she may not be able to manage this straight away!), and how you will both prevent either person from being ejected from the group.

The message you need to get across to her is that you love her but can’t be in a relationship with her, you want to be friends with her, and you want the friendship group to be protected from your break-up.

She may not agree to anything and it may all fall to shit. There’s nothing much you can do about this except reassure yourself you tried, cry a lot, and then start to reinforce and spend energy on your friendships with other people.

If she does agree, the next thing you need to do is sit down with all your friends, and, together, explain that you’re breaking up but that you will go back to being friends. This should also include saying things like, “please don’t take sides”, “please understand we don’t want to spill dirt on each other”, and “please let’s just do things like we use to - if it’s awkward at first, we will manage it and it will get easier”.

Good luck. This is a really tough time for you: I hope I’ve given you some things to think about

#ask auntie asy #breakups #relationships #anonymous #askauntieasy

37 notes · View notes

profoundnet · 5 years

Text

Thank you to all these amazing people for participating in the Profound Bond’s Halloween Exchange 2018! I hope everyone enjoyed their amazing gifts. Massive thanks as well to the wonderful @foxymoley for the banner, who never fails us with her brilliant art.

Apologies for the slightly (very) late masterpost, but please enjoy all the amazing creations below the cut!

If you’d like to join the gift exchange, then head on over and join our discord! Information can be found on the wiki which you can access here.

Let Me Live that Fantasy by @profound-boning for justann

"Let's get sexy," Cas mutters against his lips.

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, AU - Angels are known, Angel Castiel, PWP, Smut, Fluff, Medical Kink, Doctor Sexy Costume, Wing Kink

Shitty Timing and Slutty Cops by @lunavva for profound-boning

“There’s literally nothing here, man,” Dean says, running his hand down his face. “We’re doomed. I’m fired.”

“Not yet," Cas tells him.

Dean snorts. “You’re right,” he says. “I have three hours and then I’m fired.”

No Rating

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, Fluff, Teenage Destiel

The Samhain Trials by @jemariel for TobytheWise

On Samhain night, the veil is thin, not only between the spirit world and our own, but between humankind and their inner natures.

Every year, the hunt is run. Alphas and omegas brave the woods in search of glory and passion. Every year, Dean Winchester comes out alone. The soulbrand on his neck means that he has a True Mate, and what should be a blessing has only been a curse.

He hopes, and he waits, and this year his soulbrand has been itching as if it were newly risen.

It's nearly sundown.

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - Soulmates, AU - A/B/O, True Mates, Alpha Castiel, Omega Dean, Mating Bond, First Time, Smut

Zom-bee Mine by a_dusky_gold for Nox-lee

Gabriel's careless gift becomes the promise of a lifetime.

No Rating

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, Teenage Destiel, Friends to Lovers, Reunions, Foster Care, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort

Cuffs and Coffee Cups by @wargurl83 for alessariel

Dean’s a barista at The Java Break in Lawrence. Castiel is an FBI agent sent undercover to KU to track down a drug ring that’s sending kids to the hospital. He tracks the dealer to The Java Break where he meets Dean and starts to fall for him. But Dean has secrets that he has to keep from Castiel. Will they be able to meet in the middle?

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, Barista Dean, FBI Agent Castiel

Of Dragons and Princesses by @elizasugarcane for haikuhamster

“I don’t wanna go-oo-ooooh!”, Claire wailed at the top of her lungs. It seemed like no matter what he said, Cas just couldn’t convince her, that she would be fine but that they really needed to leave the car and enter the hospital they had been sitting in front of for about 10 minutes now.

General Rating

Tags: Doctor Dean, Single Parent Castiel

A Halloween Treat by @deadlykittenkaywriting for tfw_cas

It's the annual Halloween party at the Roadhouse and there's a special little treat for everyone that's invited. Also, did you hear what Batman did to Superman?

Teen Rating

Tags: Halloween Costumes, Mutual Pining, First Kiss

Never Play with Things which should Stay Lifeless by @justann42 for starmouse123

Castiel is a warlock and had a new potion which he wanted to try.

Is this really a good idea?

General Rating

Tags: AU - Urban Fantasy, Fluff and Angst, Crack

Hard to believe by @surlybobbies for binJLG

He was suddenly giddy with the memory of last night, of the risk he took and the reward he received. Warmth suffused him when he remembered the way Cas’s hands had shaken when he raised them to Dean’s cheeks, the awe on Cas’s face that he was allowed to lean in and -

Dean didn’t bother changing; he walked out into the hallway and into the kitchen in faded boxers and the shirt from last night.

And waiting there, watching the percolator drip coffee into the carafe?

“Cas.” It was the first thing he’d said that day, and it felt right.

General Rating

Tags: Canon Universe, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff

Reel Drag by @haikuhamster for neonbat

It’d been three days since Dean had eaten. Every time he thought it was safe to leave the cave and hunt, though, the monster would make its presence known once more and remind him that certain death awaited him if he left.

Here in his own head, he could admit that he was terrified.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Creature Fic, Creature Castiel, Zombie Werepire, Bottom Dean, PWP, Wing Kink, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Dubious Consent

Holloween by binJGL for loveinghybrid

Dean spirals into a deep depression after casting Michael out and ends up isolating himself. But Castiel WILL NOT let him spend his favorite holiday alone.

Mature Rating

Tags: Canon Divergence, Depressed Dean Winchester, Mental Illness, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, First Kiss

A Halloween to Remember by @loveinghybrid for lunavva

Dean and Castiel have been friends for years. Although they have been through many Halloweens together, this one was one they both would never forget.

No Rating

Tags: Best Friends, Mutual Pining

Aren’t You a Peach by @supernatural9917fic for surlybobbies

Totally platonic (*cough*) best friends and roommates Dean and Cas get ready for Charlie's classic video game-themed Halloween party, dressed as characters from Super Mario Brothers. But an unexpected glimpse of part of Cas's costume might just change their plans.

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - College/University, Halloween Costumes, Friends to Lovers, Roommates, Fluff and Smut

Broken Wings and Spooky Things by @nox-lee for wargurl83

A case at a Halloween party takes a dangerous turn and Dean sees a whole new side of Cas.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Post-case, Halloween Costumes, Hurt Castiel, Wing Kink, Smut

Angels and Demons and Treats by @snarkysnartes for elizasugarcane

It's almost Halloween and Dean and Cas' son is feeling just a little bit upset.

General Rating

Tags: Fluff

Sweet Shenanigans by tfw_cas for supernatural9917

When a series of practical jokes occur in and around the bunker in the days leading up to Halloween, TFW 2.0 are left puzzled and a little irritated. Who is pulling these pranks, and for what reason? Dean is determined to discover the truth, and if that means spending time researching with his favourite angel, all the better. Maybe it will even bring them closer together.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Pranks and Practical Jokes, Humor, Fluff and Smut, First Time, Bath Sex

A Promise at Sunrise by @alessariel for spnhell

“Dude, don’t look now, but there’s another guy wearing the same costume as you!” Charlie daintily sipped her drink while Dean nearly spat out his beer.

What starts with a similar costume rapidly turns into the most amazing one-night stand Dean's ever had. Cas is funny, gorgeous, mysterious and really knows how to use his... wings. Among other things.

Dean made Cas promise to stay the night and watch the sunrise with him, but he finds himself hoping that Cas will stay a lot longer than that.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Alternative Universe, Creature Fic, Creature Castiel, Smut and Fluff, Bottom Dean

Under the Mask by @tobythewise for deadlykittenkay

Dean's heart is torn. On the one hand, he's been in love with his roommate slash best friend for years. On the other hand, he's about to meet his online Sir for the first time. His heart (and his dick) are conflicted. What could go wrong?

Explicit Rating

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Online Relationship, Two Person Love Triangle, Sub Dean, Dom Castiel, Roommates, Panty Kink, Sexting, Dirty Talk

A Samhain Nights Dream by @ellenofoz for crypto

Dean and Castiel finally get the chance to go away for a few days to the Ozark Mountains over Halloween. They arrive in town, only to discover that trick or treaters are going missing.

They agree to help out, even though working this case is preventing Dean from getting into his boyfriend’s satin panties. The kids are probably just hiding somewhere, stuffing their faces with candy, right?

Wrong.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Canon Divergence, Fairies, Panty Kink, Cowboy Castiel, Established Relationship, Dorks in Love

Fly Home by @neonbat666 for pimentogirl

Dean tried to be the big brother Sam would be proud of, even if he didn't know the first thing about taking care of an injured raven he found in his backyard. All he had to do was wait for when his Vet brother could swing his ass by and pick it up. Then again, he should have known life was never so easy.

Explicit Rating

Tags: AU - Creature Fic, Creature Castiel, Samhain Magic, Writer Dean

Not the Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back, but the Feather by prolixdreams for a_dusky_gold

Cas can't keep his wings off the Earthly plane. What's causing this, and what will it cause?

Explicit Rating

Tags: Angel Wings, Wing Kink, Road Trip

Every Part of You by @spnhell for jemariel

Dean doesn't get why Cas wants to celebrate Halloween. Every day of their lives is frickin' Halloween, and he's said as much more than once. But Cas won't be swayed, and with Sam off for the month hunting with Garth, Dean decides to hell with it, he's got nothing better to do. Of course, he ends up with way more than he bargained for when Cas takes his command to go and 'change into something more comfortable' a little too literally.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Bunker fic, Canon divergence, Castiel with wings, Wing Kink, Halloween Costumes, Grooming, Smut, Bottom Cas, Fluff

Would You by @leafzelindor for prolixdreams

Dean get's a chance to see Castiel's wings after the empty. Then he gets a chance to touch, which leads to more.

Explicit Rating

Tags: Art in Fic, Wing Kink, Grooming, Bottom Dean, Getting Together

Coffee on Halloween by @foxymoley for ultimatetrollcolinfirth

SFW ART

But Dean Likes Cowboys by @pimentogirl for ellenofoz

SFW ART

He Lost a Bet by @delicious-irony for plaid-and-devils-traps

NSFW ART

Halloween Night by @starmouse123 for beetlepiss

SFW ART

Flash x2 by @foxymoley for snarkysnartes

SFW ART

"Well, one of us is going to have to change” by @cryptomoon for delicious-irony

SFW ART

#pbexchange #pbexchangehalloween #pbexchangemasterpost #member fic #member art

3 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years

Note

Hey steph do you have some soft/fluffy hospital fics ,if not fluff angst will do too .

Hi Lovely!

LOL I’m laughing so hard at the wording of this ask: “If you don’t want to make me feel all gooey, just murdering me will be fine too” XD XD.

Ahh, this would fall into my “Sick Fics” categories, which I have MANY of… so I’ll just.. give you a few of the ones I have where hospitals are the setting of the story, rather than a brief mention (uh, basically, I did a tag search and here’s what I found LOL LOL)

HOSPITAL FICS

Prayers by Jberry (M, 665 w. || H/C, Injury, John Whump, Fear of Death, First Person Sherlock) – Sherlock has never been a man who prayed.

Promises Kept by grannysknitting (K+, 844 w. || John POV, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Sherlock’s Violin, Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Post-TGG) – When they were in hospital, Sherlock made a promise to himself. Now he's keeping it. Set after 'Polygamous Marriage' but before 'Back in the Saddle'

Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850 w. || John Whump, Hospitalization, Possessive / Protective Sherlock, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital... again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

The Sidewalk by politewarning (K, 956 w. || Post-TRF, Angst, Friendship, Sherlock’s Birthday) – Standing on the sidewalk outside the hospital on the 6th of January to have a one-sided conversation with his dead friend was not something John had intended to make into a ritual.

Dismantle the Sun by Mount_Seleya (T, 965 w. || John Whump, 3G, Angst, Grief) – After a gunshot leaves John in critical condition, Sherlock holds vigil beside his hospital bed, slowly unravelling as the night progresses.

I Was Wrong by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,496 w. || TGG AU, Friendship, Hospitalization / Injury, John’s Self Esteem, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sherlock and John have a conversation a few days after the pool face off with Moriarty. And John hears something quite surprising.

Giveaway Fic #9 - Angsty Sick Fic/Sherlock is Sick by ConsultingPurplePants (T, 1,734 w. || Sick Fic, Hypothermia) – The next time he awakens is even more chaotic. Two doctors are shouting at each other in the corner, and John is holding his hand so tightly Sherlock is worried he’ll break it. Part 9 of 1000 Tumblr Followers Giveaway Fics

Quite Contrary by Hollyesque (T, 1,805 w. || HLV Fic, Sherlock Whump / After Mary Shot Sherlock, Hallucinations / Flashbacks / PTSD, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Lestrade POV, ) – A short one-shot, alternate scene to Greg's hospital visit in HLV. Instead of Sherlock disappearing, Greg is faced with an unexpected reaction to a hospitalized Sherlock and winds up figuring out something that he really would have rather not known.

In Which Lestrade Looks in on Sherlock and Observes by Aztecwarfareandcrumping (K+, 1,833 w. || Lestrade POV, Friendship, Hurt Comfort, John Whump) – John's in hospital, which means Sherlock is, too. Lestrade takes it upon himself to look in on them.

BBCSH 'Poor Mary' by tigersilver (M, 1,839 w.|| HLV Fic, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Missing Scene, Sherlock POV) – As the tin says above, this is a missing scene, set directly after Sherlock awakens in hospital after having been shot by his best mate's wife. Minor angst, some pining, nothing nasty; please don't be alarmed unduly.

The Doctor's Capable Hands by Totally-Out-Of-It (K+, 2,012 w. || Sherlock Whump, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Anxious Sherlock) – Sherlock is injured during a chase. John sits watchful at his bedside in the hospital and wonders. He wouldn't leave Sherlock alone like this. Especially not if Sherlock wanted him to stay.

Crisis Averted by Spartangal22 (T, 2,188 w. || HLV Fic, Missing Scene After Confronting Mary, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Family / Friendship, Hospitalization, Sherlock POV, Holmes Brothers) – Lying in the hospital, Sherlock receives some surprising visitors, and manages to deal with two problems he's been having lately. A missing scene from HLV about a formal introduction that was never made and a visit that was never shown.

Domino by Deception's Call (K, 2,689 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Scared / Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Crying Sherlock, Hospital, Implied Caretaker Sherlock) – When John is injured on a case and is admitted to the hospital, those at Scotland Yard come to realize that perhaps Sherlock Holmes has a heart after all.

Waiting and Recovery by A Wandering Minstrel (K+, 3,173 w. || H/C, Friendship) – Lestrade waits for news of Sherlock and John at the hospital. Mrs. Hudson looks after her boys. Two companion pieces.

MR# 1430155 by blueink3 (T, 3,560 w. || Talks of Parentlock, Baby Watson, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Fluff and Angst) – John paces the length of the not inconsiderable hallway and glances at his phone for the tenth time since he exited the hospital room seven minutes ago. Sherlock’s last text was sent at 5:06pm. It is now 5:39pm. He should be here by now. After all, his daughter is 46-minutes-old and if John is going to share this momentous event with someone, it sure as hell isn’t going to be the woman who just gave birth to her. Part 5 of Tumblr Prompts

Memories Lost on Christmas Day by agnesanutter, PlainJane (G, 4,479 w. || Fluff, Hospitals, Worried Sherlock, Post-TRF, Christmas) – It's the day before Christmas and Sherlock and John are exactly where they need to be....

Carry On by Mazarin221b (M, 4,647 w. || 5 and Ones, H/C, Afghanistan, Frottage, Hand Jobs, First Time, Drunk John, Hospitals, Humour, Soft Sex) – Five times John didn't want to be carried, and one time he did.

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: Sherlock Holmes, RELATIONSHIP: n/a by blueink3 (M, 5,533 w. || Hurt John/3G, Fluff & Angst) – The first time John Watson’s emergency contact is called is the first time Sherlock Holmes finds out that he has the job. Part 1 of The Emergency Contact Series

EMERGENCY CONTACT: John Watson, RELATIONSHIP: Saint by blueink3 (M, 6,229 w. || Hurt Sherlock, 5+1, H/C, Caring John, Scars) – The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital. Part 2 of The Emergency Contact Series

BANG by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 7,016 w. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Worried / Scared Sherlock, Alternating POV, Whump, Hospital Recovery, Open Ending) – 'I should warn you,' Sherlock says, his voice steady and his eyes fixed on Moriarty. 'You are sadly misinformed.' And he fires. Prequel to M Is For Moriarty

With This Ring by Quesarasara (E, 9,121 w. || Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Embarrassing Hospital Visits) – Sometimes even the best of plans go wrong. And sometimes wrong turns out to be exactly right.

The Dying Doctor by Transcendental Starlight (T, 11,258 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sick John / John Whump, ACD Rewrite) – Loosely based off ACD's "The Dying Detective." Sherlock relives a case that should have killed him, but instead resulted in John being hospitalized for a deadly disease. Sherlock endeavors to catch the murderer, while attempting to envision a future without John Watson. No Slash.

Obsession by storylover18 (K+, 15,213 w. || HC, Case Fic, Friendship) - Dr. John Watson wakes up ill one morning but it is not the 24 hour flu he thinks it was. Soon he lands in hospital, quickly deteriorating and Sherlock must work to find out what has happened to his blogger before it is too late. Case!fic mixed with sick!fic / No slash.

The Yellow Poppies by SilentAuror (E, 34,952 w. || H/C, Nightmares, HLV Fix-It, PTSD, Trauma, POV Sherlock, Doctor John) – Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

M Is For Moriarty by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 29,882 w. || Suspense, Mystery, Case Fic, Worried Sherlock, No Slash, Whump) – A figure at the end of the hospital bed; a needle in the dark...Moriarty has John, and Sherlock must follow the paper trail through London to find him before time runs out. Sequel to BANG.

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w. || Character Injury, Introspection) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #hospital fics #my fic recs #angel-nem #whump fics

166 notes · View notes

everydarkshroudhasasilverlining · 5 years

Text

I know not everyone is huge into rules, but they make things go more smoothly and help out to make things better for everyone. So here's a list of things to expect, not really rule, rules... But close enough.

I am an Indie RP blog, which means I don't belong to a specific group. I never have and I probably never will because that's just not my jive. I do RP with a specific person quite often but that doesn't mean I'm exclusive, I just happen to know this person personally and so I RP with them often.

If you ask me, I can tag things with a trigger warning. This doesn't bother me at all but I will not know to tag this unless you ask me to. I'm not going to go snooping for anything and I'm not a mind reader, so it's your responsibility to let me know to tag something. You're welcome to go through my tags list and block whatever may bother you. However, if something bothers you and it's not there, let me know so I can tag it in the future. If I forget to tag something (which I'll do my best not to, but it happens when you're human) then just remind me. I'll do my best to avoid this happening, however.

If you need to talk, go ahead and message me. I use combinations of my own experiences with scientific evidence and understanding to cater my responses to your situation. I will be honest, however. I don't want to lie to you, so I'm going to do my best to not do that. I try to provide a neutral voice, affirm what you're feeling, and give the most mature advice I can. I do not always have the answer but I'm excellent at listening, at least.

This is my only warning, my blog may have NSFW themes. Sex, cursing, death, and other dark themes. I tend to not shy away from the cruelties of reality, no matter how much I (or others) abhorr them. There is no way to stop the horrors of life... but we can take action and open up conversations and outlets of thinking so we can better understand and combat these terrible atrocities. I enjoy making myself think and question things and then going further and wondering WHY.

However, I am also mentally ill, live in the middle of nowhere, and have a life offline... so sometimes even the things I'm causing myself to question I have to take a step back from due to PTSD. I am still willing to discuss them, but I would need a small break so as to not cause myself mental and emotional pain. This is how I process and understand things. I will pick up the thread when I feel I am mentally able to and I will let you know that it's on pause because I do NOT just drop threads randomly. If you have this problem as well (or even if you want to actually drop the thread or just skip ahead) let me know and I will gladly do what I can. I'm not here to cause pain and distress. If the topic I'm RPing with you is pushing too far, let me know and we can stop that (and probably never do it again unless you request it).

Again, I will not randomly drop threads without discussing with you first. Not unless we personally come across an issue and you and I are no longer communicating. In which case, I will drop them in an effort to leave you be. I do not go out of my way to ask others why they dropped threads, either. I just ask that if you're going to drop it, let me know so I can remove it from my tracker. You don't have to give me a reason why, just let me know and I'll do it.

My replies MAY be incredibly slow. I live in the middle of nowhere so most of the time my internet doesn't work or only partially works. I'm mentally ill and have life outside of the internet. Sometimes I'm just slow to respond. I am not ignoring you, I promise. If I don't want to talk to you, I'll generally say I don't want to talk right now. Otherwise, assume something on my end is messing up so I cannot currently respond... or I'm sleeping or away from the computer.

I am not interested in anything more than platonic friendships with others. I am in a relationship and, honestly, am not really a people person... I'm a loner who lives on 12 acres and would rather go for a walk with my dogs or build toys for my rats than go to the mall. I'm not good with communication, though I try my best. I have no interest in flirting and it actually makes me incredibly uncomfortable, so I would prefer if you just didn't. I am friendly on a platonic level and nothing more. I may RP sexual themes, but other than my lover, I am not sexually interested in anyone. I'm very much grey-ace/demisexual... Meaning I have to build an attachment in the first place and, even then, I'm not generally interested in sex. I would appreciate if you respected that.

I do not generally have icons or gifs that are directly related to the character, but if I find one I may use it. Otherwise, I am an artist and so I may draw and/or doodle here and there. You are not required to do any of this, however. Please do not feel obligated to do anything for me. I owe you nothing and you owe me nothing. You are your own person, just as I am my own.

I am an AU/Crossover/OC friendly blog. For OCs or Crossovers into other fandoms I ask that you please toss me some information, however. There is the high chance that I will have no idea what you're talking about, even if I'm in the fandom, because my memory is not the best, I do not go snooping on other people's pages, and it's just nice to have something to work with. Plus, I may not even know the fandom. Regardless, I'll still work with you because I do enjoy challenges and learning.

If I reblog a meme or starter post, feel free to reblog and/or send me some. I don't mind either way, but I do enjoy getting inbox things so feel free to ask away, even if it doesn't have to do with a meme or starter post.

If you want to do a lot of threads with me? Same or different muses? Feel free! I'm really laid back and chill so it's no problem with me.

My muse is usually a top, though can switch depending. Preference for those who identify as male but swings any which way. He's generally Alpha in ABO universes. I will write sexual but if you don't want to then let me know and we can skip those scenes or even just do platonic RP. I am not picky and will not judge for this.

My Mike is usually the kind of guy with a big heart and a secret dark side that he's ashamed of and tries to hide. He wants to help everyone else be better than he thinks he is. He doesn't think highly of himself but works hard to do the right thing, despite being able to be swayed to do the wrong thing. I do this so I have a complicated character to work with who has realistic problems and not always the correct response. There are topics I can (probably even will) cover that I do NOT agree with or am even uncomfortable with myself because it helps me to process and understand things better when I can think of alternative trains of thought and get inside another's head.

I am mentally ill, sometimes I fall behind... Please be patient. I'm not going to bite and I do my best to talk professionally. If our RP touches on a topic that upsets either of us, it is your responsibility to let me know that you'd like to pause, skip, drop, or change the topic, and it is my responsibility to do the same for you. I will not judge you for this. I can only handle some topics at certain times too, so it's nothing personal. There are some topics that I can never handle when they hit a certain point, even (usually victim-blaming/gas-lighting children who are being abused, I cannot go in depth on this topic) because I suffer from PTSD from childhood trauma. There are topics that some people simply cannot do and that's okay. So if I'm RPing with you, and there's a topic you don't want, let me know so we can avoid it. I'm not here to cause undue distress. However, if I'm RPing a topic with someone else that makes you uncomfortable or you cannot do? Just let me know to tag it so you can block the tag. Nothing personal, no issues.

I generally do not move asks to a new thread because I am lazy and often forget how to do that. I write things down and use programs to help me keep track of things. However, if you want to move it, feel free. Just tag me so I can track it. If I don't see your tag, feel free to DM me to let me know to go look for it.

Personal blogs feel free to follow me but don't expect a follow back all of the time. Let me know the sid blogthat you RP with and I'll follow you there. This is NOT my main blog. My main blog is a Michael/Tall Goth RP blog that is much darker in topic, so do not feel like you have to follow that back.

If there is anything you have a problem with let me know. If you don't want to RP with me, that's okay! I'm not going to stalk you or demand an explanation. It's not my place and I don't have the time or energy to do that kind of thing. If you want to drop RPing with me completely, let me know and I'll remove the RPs from my tracker and leave you alone. You have every right to choose to not interact with me and that's okay. Even if you just want time, that's okay too. Unless we have a personal dispute, chances are that, even if you ask me to drop you, I won't block you so you're welcome to come back whenever you want to. No questions asked. You owe me NO explanation. Even if I ask you if it's okay if I ask why? Feel free to tell me no and that you don't want to explain, that's okay! You don't owe me anything and it's okay if you don't want to interact.

If you want to RP but something is bothering you? Whether it's a topic or a real life issue or my attitude... It's okay. Let me know. If you know we're just going to argue on a topic but you want to talk about other things, just ask me to never bring up that topic and I will do that for you. I can avoid topics to avoid disputes that way we can talk about other things. It doesn't bother me to do that. If you want me to tag that topic? I can do that too, so you don't have to see my talks about that with other people, either. I have no problem with that.

However, if you want to argue, are looking for an argument, or want to try to tell me how horrible I am because of xyz reason? I'm going to ignore you. I may even block you. It's nothing personal but I do not have the energy to do that. I am literally sick enough that if I get too stressed I pass out. I don't have the time or energy to waste on arguing that when I could go do something else. I do my best to study before I speak. I take facts and studies from trained professionals. I educate myself and separate reality from fiction. I have no interest in arguing over arbitrary things and I know who and what I am. I do no harm. I go out of my way to bend backwards to compromise. I will not stand there and be told I'm a horrible person with falsehoods because I know it's not true and I could spend that time going outside and working on the garden. So I won't. End of story.

In real life, I don't really do a lot. I live in the middle of nowhere with my partner and my animals. I spend my time taking care of my animals and making art because I'm not a people person. I have a lot of late-night deep debates with my partner that makes me really think and question things in order to challenge myself. I love science and studying. I don't generally interact with people in real life because I don't like people and it causes me stress. I'm not a super sexual person. I'm angry about the world's issues but not violent. I prefer to just chill and learn and ask questions. I want to challenge myself to think about things that make me assess situations from multiple sides and understand WHY someone does something. I want reality, no matter how cruel, so I can better learn how to help prevent that. It's just what I do.

I have no interest in arguing. Too much effort and no reward. If you want to hate me? Go ahead. I don't care the reason, just do it on your own time. Don't waste my time with it because I don't care. My caring goes as far as, this makes you uncomfortable? Okay, let me know and I'll tag it. Then you can block the tag and we can be done with it. It's your job to let me know. My job to make the tag. Your job to avoid the tag.

I'm not here to fight. I'm here o open up discussions within myself and challenge myself. My morals lay at how my rights end where yours begin and vice versa. I will not seek you out to cause harm. If you seek me out and cause yourself harm? That's on you. You did that to yourself. I am not forcing you to look up tags that upset you and read them. You did that to yourself. I put the tags there so you had the option to opt out.

Anyway, I feel like this is long enough. So there are my rules/explanation for my blog. If you need anything to talk abou, DM me and we'll figure out if I need to add anything. I'm nt actually an asshole, I just suck at communication and am not going to argue with every aggressive person online because I could use that time being productive.

#Rules and Regulations - Mike

1 note · View note

gothdefined · 5 years

Text

Rules and Regulations

People don't really like rules... But they're a necessary evil in order to make things go more smoothly and so we can all get along... So here's my list of things to expect... Not necessarily RULES, per se... but more of a this is my blog and how I might interact or how you can message me about certain things so we can handle it in a mature, responsible way...

I am an Indie RPer, meaning I don't belong to a specific group, never have and probably never will. I do RP with a specific person quite often but that does not make me exclusive or anything. I just have preferences.

If you ask me, I can tag things with a trigger warning, but I'm not going to know to do that unless you ask me to. I don't go snooping and it's not my job to read your mind. You're welcome to go through my tags list and block whatever may bother you, however. If something bothers you and it's not there, let me know and I'll make a tag for it. Simple as that.

If you need to talk, I'm all up for talking. As much as a calculating jerk that my muse may be, I'm actually a really chill individual with a lot of scientific evidence to back up my beliefs. If it's untrue, I'm not going to believe it. If I'm wrong, I'm willing to change myself. If you have a problem, I will talk through it and, if the problem is with me then I'll, compromise. I'm not here to be a dick, I will be honest, however. But if you're looking for advice or someone to listen to you, I'll do my best to provide what neutral voice I have backed up with understanding and science and psychology to give you the best personalized advice I can.

One and only warning... There will be messed up NSFW things on this blog. Sex, cursing, death, dark themes... I tend my best to not shy away from those things because they're a cruel reality and I'd rather face them than lie and pretend they're not there. There is absolutely no way to make them stop. Does that mean we should just stop caring? No. But we should open up conversation and challenge ourselves to explore what we don't like so we can better understand and counteract. I enjoy things that make me think. I enjoy logic. If it makes me uncomfortable, I want to know why and what can I do.

I will not RP mature themes with minors. This is absolutely nothing personal. I was watching horror movies before I could walk or talk and I had sex when I was a teen too... But I'm an adult and it's not my place to work those things out with you. I recommend looking up scientific resources to learn more and exploring in a safe, healthy fashion. If you're of age and want to RP mature themes with age 16 and up, that's fine... But underage muns will have to wait until they're of age in order to RP with me.

That said, realize I am not interested in dating anyone. I am not looking for anything more than platonic relationships here. I have a mate and we've been together happily for years. I'm not a people person, I'm a loner, and I'd rather just have some fun exploring minds than try to flirt. I have no interest in flirting, it actually makes me incredibly uncomfortable... so just don't.

I will not randomly drop threads without discussing with you first. Not unless we come across an issue and you and I are no longer communicating. Then, I will drop them in an effort to leave you be. My replies may be slow, however, because I live in the middle of nowhere, have a life outside of the internet, my internet is incredibly slow, I'm mentally ill, and sometimes I just take a while to respond.

I am AU/Crossover/OC friendly. For OCs or Crossovers into other fandoms, please toss me some information because I will generally have no idea what is going on. My memory is not the best and so it's just nice to have something to work with. I may not always know the fandom, but I'll still work with you because I do enjoy challenges and learning.

I do not generally have icons or gifs that are directly related to te character, but if I find one I may use it. Otherwise, I am an artist and so I may draw/doodle here and there, you are not required to do any of these things, however.

If I reblog a meme or starter post, feel free to reblog and/or send some in. I don't really care/mind either way but I'm pretty chill so feel free to ask whatever.

If you want to do a ton of threads with me but with the same muse or different muses? Feel free. I don't care. I really am a laid-back person so no worries.

My muse is a top, everything-sexual, and Alpha in ABO universes. I will write sexual but if you don't want to, just let me know and we can skip ahead or even just do a platonic thing. I'm not picky.

My Michael is generally NOT a good person though he CAN have a good side. This is to explore my understanding of certain things and have a 3D character to work with. There are things he can and will do that I do NOT agree with (or even am uncomfortable with myself) because it helps me to process and understand in a way I get.

I am mentally ill, I'm not a robot... sometimes I fall behind on things. Just be patient. I'm not gonna bite... and if our RP touches on something that upsets me, I may just be in a spot where I can't handle it at the moment. I will still want to RP it, but some triggers I can only handle at certain times... Like child abuse... I was heavily abused growing up so victim-blaming/gas-lighting and child abuse really hit me hard and I will have flashbacks if I see it on television or real life... and there are times I simply can't think about it... So it is nothing personal, I WILL continue the RP, but sometimes I need to step back a second to remind myself I'm not there and I don't have to protect right now.

I generally do not move asks to a new thread because I am lazy and often forget what I'm doing. I have to write things down to keep track... however, if you want to move it, just tag me so I can track it.

Personal blogs feel free to follow me but don't expect a follow back all the time. Let me know the side blog that you RP with and I'll follow you there.

This is my main blog. I have a side blog for Mike, however, which will be much more tame in comparison... hopefully.

If there is anything you have a problem with... let me know. If you don't want to RP with me, that's fine. I'm not going to stalk you down. If you want to drop RPing with me, let me know and I'll remove the RPs from my tracker and leave you be. I don't really care, you have every right to choose not to interact with me.

If you want to RP but something is bothering you or the RP is taking a turn you don't want to deal with? Let me know. We can avoid topics like the plague, if you want. It doesn't bother me. Same with if we don't agree on something... I can tag that topic so you don't have to read when I post it and I can avoid talking about it with/to you. I have no problem with this.

However, if you want to argue and try to convince me I'm some spawn of Satan and this and that? I'm going to ignore you. I don't care. We will not change each other's minds and I don't have the energy or the care to argue with you. I'm not going to hunt you down, I'm not going to stalk you, I'm not going to bother you. I will avoid you because I just don't care. I study before I speak and if you're going to speak based on feelings instead of facts from trained professionals? I want no part of it. I don't care.

In real life, I don't really do much. I live in the middle of nowhere with my mate and my animals. I spend my time taking care of my mental health and interacting with my animals because I'm not a people person. I like to have deep debates with my mate that makes me really think and question things in order to challenge myself. I love science and studying. I don't generally interact with people in real life because I don't like people. I'm not really a super sexual person. I'm angry but not violent. I prefer to just chill and learn and ask questions.

I have no interest in arguing with people. Too much effort with no reward. If you want to hate me? By all means, go ahead, I don't care. Just do it on your time. Don't waste my time. The time you spend arguing? I could be doing something productive like building toys for my rats or working outside in the garden. I don't really care. My caring goes as far as... This makes you uncomfortable? Okay, let me know and I'll tag it. Then it's on you to block that tag. That's it.

I'm not here to fight. I'm here to open up discussion within myself and challenge myself to new trains of thought. My morals lay at my rights end where yours begin and vice versa. I will not seek you out to cause harm. But if you seek me out and cause yourself harm, that's on you.

I feel like this is dragging on too long... So I'll just end it at that. Those are my rules/explanation. If you need anything to talk about, just DM me and we'll figure out if I need to add anything. I'm not actually an asshole, I just suck at communication and don't care to argue it out with every one.

#Rules and Regulations (Michael)

1 note · View note

quiet-onset · 6 years

Text

Gætir (11)

Pairing: Thor Odinson x Reader (eventually), Bucky Barnes x platonic!reader

Word Count: 4,523

Tag List: @givemeanorigami, @ktjnn, @dreamingaboutthewonderland, @whatisanniedoin, @msvega24, @champion-ofthe-sun, @art-flirt, @moose-on-the-l00se, @snowstorm8162, @loricwizardbluetoastedcake

PREVIOUS - NEXT

Chapter Eleven:

Your father was a brilliant man. And he knew it.

The difference between him and other geniuses was that he used his intelligence to help others. He had worked on many different projects over the years. Some were successes and some were failures, but that never stopped him from trying again. He was a psychologist and a scientist, both areas of expertise coming in handy for his current project.

He was making rounds around the lab, his white lab coat catching the light breeze. He marked a few things down on his clipboard at each station before continuing. He’d give words of encouragement to each of coworkers. He was listening in on a small debate between two lab techs before he heard his name being called.

“Daniel! Daniel!”

He turned to see his head assistant, Paul, rushing toward him. Your father gave him an amused look as Paul grabbed him by the arm and hauled him away. “Where’s the fire, Paul?”

“This is serious! We think it might be working.”

Daniel paused when he realized his close friend was serious. They were just outside the simulation room when he placed his hands on Paul’s shoulders. “Don’t play games with me.” He warned.

“I’m not.” Paul nodded. “Come on.”

When they entered the simulation room, there were a few lab techs inside, waiting for the two men. Paul nodded to one of them which prompted them to start the simulation.

On the screen, a brain appeared, colored in many different hues in each lobe. Paul pointed to it, “This is a brain with PTSD. You know we’ve been trying different combinations for years to try and perfect the serum.”

“Of course,” Daniel said. “To try and balance out the hormones.”

“We’ve finally found it.”

Paul pressed a button on the keyboard and waited for the simulation to change. A chemical equation appeared on the side while the men watched the dark red of the brain faded into blue. Daniel let out a breath of disbelief before smiling wide. He looked at his partner. “Do you realize what this means?” Paul said.

“This could cure PTSD, reduce panic attacks,” Daniel gushed. “The impact is endless!”

The two were busy basking in their success and happiness that they didn’t notice the group of observers slip into the room. When Daniel finally saw them, he tilted his head in confusion. There weren’t any tours scheduled for today, he thought.

“Ugh, Paul, can you make sure this updated paperwork is on my desk within the hour?”

“Of course.”

Sending Paul on his way, Daniel walked up to the group, shaking the tour guide’s hand, a supervisor he recognized as Garrett. “I didn’t know we had a tour today.” He smiled.

Garrett spoke to the group. “And here we have the man in charge. This is Dr. Daniel Y/L/N.”

“Pleasure to meet you all.”

“These are the investors that just bought into Tomorrow. Meet Mr. Müller, Mrs. Schröder, and Dr. Schmidt.” He introduced your father to each of them as he shook their hands.

As Daniel shook Dr. Schmidt’s hand, he noticed the ring on his finger. It seemed to resemble tentacle, peaking his interest as it did look familiar to him. “Those are German names, right?”

“Very perceptive.” Mrs. Schröder nodded, her accent thick and heavy.

“It seems you’ve had a breakthrough.” Mr. Müller added.

“Oh,” Daniel said. “We’re just, um, putting the final touches on the research. All of this is just in theory anyway.”

Dr. Schmidt clapped a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t undersell yourself, son.”

Daniel looked into his eyes and felt an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. He thanked God when Paul called him away from the group. When he started speaking, Daniel wasn’t listening but was trying to eavesdrop on the group’s conversation.

“I want him.” He heard Dr. Schmidt say. “He will be a good addition, and his research is almost complete.”

“How do we know it works? This is meant to help with mental illness, not create an army.” Mr. Müller asked.

“Obviously, we will test it. We have more than enough test subjects. It's simply a matter change of fixing the hormone imbalance.” Mrs. Schröder said.

Garrett nodded, “Hydra will not be disappointed. Dr. Y/L/N is the best of the best.”

Now, Daniel wasn’t sure what Hydra was or what army they were trying to build, but he knew that, if tampered with correctly, his research could be used to make people docile.

So, Daniel excused himself and went straight to his office. When he typed Hydra into the web search bar, he had to hold back a gasp. A worldwide terrorist organization stemming from Nazi Germany was trying to steal his research.

For a moment, he felt paralyzed, as if he couldn’t breathe. He had never been up against something so evil, something way above his pay grade. But here he was. And he knew that he couldn’t just sit idly by while his researching was being stolen.

So, he started working himself into a frenzy. He finalized his research by hand, opting not to enter it into the system. He then printed all of his essential research files before deleting them from the Tomorrow server and his computer. After gathering his work, he looked around his office for what he feared might be the last time before exiting and booking it to his own home.

When Daniel arrived home, the door slammed open and closed, perking your mother’s ears up. When she saw that it was only her husband, she relaxed. “Don’t do that!” She scolded. “You know the girls get scared like that.”

“Are they home?” He asked frantically.

“The twins are. Y/N should be on the school bus back right now. Why?”

“We have to go. Now.” He said. “I’ll go pack a bag for the twins. You pack Y/N’s. We gotta leave.”

Your mother’s brow snapped together in confusion. Daniel was usually so laid back and relaxed, so seeing him pace around the living room in a frenzy had her worried. “Woah, slow down. What’s the problem?”

“The people I work for, they’re…” He trailed off, searching for the right words. “Dangerous. We need to pack and go.”

Just as your mother was about to respond, you walked through the front door with a big smile on your face. You learned how to play a new song on the guitar during music class that day; you were eager to show them. Upon seeing the surprise and fear on their faces, your smile dropped. You were only eleven at the time, but you could sense the tension. You looked at the two, your shoulders drooping a bit. “Mom, Dad, what’s wrong?”

Your dad didn’t hesitate walking up to you and crouching down to your height. “Nothing, sweetie. Say, do you wanna go on a trip?”

“Dad, I—”

“I need you to go to your bedroom and pack a suitcase. Just the essentials. We’re going away for awhile.”

You shook your head, “What about school? What about my friends?”

Your mother looked over his shoulder and gave you a look. She knew you could argue all day. You were like her in that sense. “Listen to your father, hon.”

Only after eyeing your parents one last time do you head toward the stairs. You climbed the stairs hyper-aware of your mom and dad watching you. You waited until you were down the hall and heard their voices again to tiptoe to the edge and crouch down. Your sisters peeked out of their room to see you on the ground. “What are you doing?” Melody asked.

“You look stupid,” Harmony added.

“Any other day, I’d have a comeback that you probably wouldn’t even understand,” You whispered to the twins. “But right now, I need you to shut up so I can listen to Mom and Dad.”

Your sisters started to protest, but you shushed them, waving them back to their rooms. Your parents were finally getting back to the issue at hand, so you needed silence.

“Daniel, you know I can protect us,” Dahlia said quietly.

Your dad sighed, “You haven’t done that in years. I thought you wanted a low profile.”

“I do, but not at the expense of my family. I was born to protect others.”

“Dahlia—”

“Danny,” Your mother used his nickname, knowing that it would calm him. “I made a home here from nothing. I found you, we had three beautiful daughters, and I’m not gonna let some dangerous people run me out of my home.”

You could tell your mother was starting to get angry at the thought of anyone threatening her family, but Daniel simply placed his hands on her shoulders and rubbed up and down. They both stood there for a moment in silence, relishing the sheer presence of each other. With three kids running around, and him working all the time, it was rare that they had time to themselves. They knew, though, that this peace couldn’t last forever.

“Please. They know too much.” Daniel pleaded. “We need to take the girls and my research and go.”

“Your research?” Dahlia asked. “What can they do with that?”

“I’ll tell you on the way. Just humor me, please.”

Your mother sighed, and you knew that was her sign of conceding. You saw her nod and watched as he placed a kiss on her forehead. That was when you raced to your room to avoid being seen. You began throwing clothes in a suitcase, vaguely hearing your sisters call you weird and your mother’s footsteps coming up the stairs.

It was about an hour later that you were on the road. It had taken a bit longer than planned due to your begging to take your guitar with you. When the five of you were finally in the station wagon, you tuned out your sisters’ bickering as the car drove the road.

You watched your familiar neighborhood disappear out of your window, watching as the roads gradually became more and more unrecognizable. As if the world could sense your melancholy, it started to drizzle outside, the water droplets bouncing off the car’s exterior. You tried to make a game of following one droplet as it ran down the window, your parents’ small talk rendering you annoyed.

You knew you weren’t a grown up and that you probably wouldn’t understand the magnitude of whatever was happening. You still wanted to know. You felt like you deserved to know. Your parents were uprooting your entire life with virtually no explanation, then had the nerve to talk about the weather as if nothing had happened. Was it that easy for them?

You lost your train of thought as the car made a left turn onto a dirt road in the forest. You sat up, turning to try and see behind you. There was nothing around that you recognized, but you had to admit that you were scared. The rain was starting to pour and the fact that fog was starting to become apparent didn’t help.

“Dad, where are we?” You finally asked.

“Just trust me, sweetie.” He told you.

He found a conveniently cleared space just big enough for the car and stopped. Dahlia turned to him in her seat. “How long have you had this place?”

“Since I found out where you’re really from. Just in case.” He said with a shrug. “It’s completely off the grid. I made sure of it.”

He announced that it was time for everyone to exit the car. Your sisters jumped out, ready to play in the rain. They were always very fond of that sort of weather. You trudged out behind them and groaned when you felt the ground sink under your feet. “I hate mud.” You muttered.

You saw your parents starting to cover the car with branches and leaves. You stood behind your mother with your arms crossed. “So when will we know what’s happening?” You asked.

“Get your things from the trunk, Y/N.” She said.

You rolled your eyes and attempted to stomp your way to the back of the car, your feet slapping the mud. Your father eyed you. “Don’t roll your eyes at your mother, young lady.” He warned.

You grabbed your suitcase in one hand and your guitar case in the other. You waited for the rest of your family to grab theirs as you looked at your surroundings. There were trees all around; you couldn’t see much else past their leaves. You figured it must be much prettier and less ominous when it wasn’t raining.

A few minutes later, your father would lead your small family on a short hike. It couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes, but your sisters would not stop complaining in their young age. Your mother would hush them with a short look in her eye as they continued. Then, you saw it.

A small clearing with an old cabin dead center.

It was a bit elevated, the front acting as a sort of porch. The wood was fading from brown to a sort of grayish color. It was a small, sad-looking cabin, but it seemed to match the situation perfectly so you couldn’t complain. This was your new home.

It took a while getting used to you. The cabin seemed much smaller when you entered, and you were disappointed to learn that you’d have to share a room with your sisters. You loved your sisters, but living in the same room as them proved to be a challenge. It took a whole year of bickering and family meetings to finally fall into a groove.

You all had a sort of routine. Your mother would teach you with what little books and material she managed to bring along. Then you went hunting with your father while your sisters learned survival skills with your mother. When the two of you came back, you would go out back to gather firewood for the tiny fireplace. Then, you’d eat dinner with your family and go to bed, repeating the entire process in the morning. It was a weird routine, but it was yours, nonetheless. You followed it to a tee.

Until one day, it was interrupted.

Your father had gone out of a shopping trip. Every few months, Daniel would have to go out and buy new clothes for you and your sisters, as you were still growing. He made sure to dress so his face couldn’t be seen and went back out into the world. Sometimes, you were jealous of him, but you knew it was for the best.

Everything was going smoothly as Daniel exited the clothing store. With two shopping bags in each hand, he walked toward the car he’d hot-wired to get there.

Then, all of a sudden, he collided with a stranger, his hat falling off in the process.

“I am so sorry.” The stranger said. He bent down to help Daniel pick up his belongings.

Daniel tried to keep his head down as his heartbeat sped up. “It’s fine, really. You don’t have to.”

“No, I insist. Besides, I’m the one who bumped into you.” The stranger picked up his hat just before Daniel could grab it. He looked up at the stranger and nodded in thanks.

Without another word, he put the cap on his head and booked it to the car, leaving the scene as quickly as possible.

Later that day, you were out hunting with your father near the clearing where your parents had parked their car nearly a year and a half ago. You separated from him but stayed where he could see you. You were aiming for a bird that settled on a low branch with your rifle. You never had great aim, but you were sure you could hit that bird. Suddenly, you saw three men. Your eyes widened as you watched them start to uncover the car that you’d left behind.

When Daniel saw the distress on your face, he silently made his way over to you. “What’s wrong?” He whispered.

You pointed and waited as your father’s reaction mimicked yours. His head snapped your way as he grabbed you by the shoulders. “You run back to the cabin as fast as you can. Don’t make any noise until you get through the clearing.”

“Dad, what’s going——”

“Tell your mother that they’re coming. Then take your sisters and hide. Understand?”

You nodded quickly, taking off with a quick shove from your father. You ran as fast as your feet could carry you, making it back to the cabin in five minutes flat. You saw your sisters smiling at the fire they’d just started as you ran across the clearing. Dahlia looked at you with concern as you frantically kicked dirt over the fire, prompting your sisters to whine. You ignored them and turned to your mother, “They’re coming.”

You watched as your mother’s face slowly changed from confusion to seriousness. She bent down to look your sisters in the eyes. “Melody, Harmony, you go into the cabin with Y/N and hide. Listen to your sister, do you understand?”

You almost cringed at the fear in their eyes. Harmony’s lip trembled, “Mommy?”

“It’ll be okay, baby. I promise. Now go, hurry.”

You followed your sisters into the cabin, putting on a brave face. Melody immediately turned to you, “Y/N, what’s happening?”

“I don’t know.” You answered honestly. “We just need to listen to Mom and Dad, okay? We’ll be fine.”

You looked around the small cabin for any kind of hiding space for the girls. You’d be damned if you hid before them. You noticed that the kitchen cabinets under the sink were small, and the twins would probably fit inside. “Here, come on.”

You let them crawl inside before crouching down. “You two stay down here and don’t make any noise unless me, Mom, or Dad says so. I don’t care who else comes in here. You don’t come out unless you hear one of us, got it?”

They nodded, tears in their eyes. You were about to say that everything was going to be okay, but you didn’t have the chance. You started to hear a commotion outside and knew you had to hide. You reminded them to be silent before you reluctantly closed the cabinet doors.

You ran to the nearest closet and got in. You were two seconds from closing the door when you heard a shout from the porch. The closet door wasn’t fully closed, but you wouldn’t be able to close it the rest of the way without being noticed by whoever was there, so instead, you peeked through the small crack.

Suddenly, you jumped as the front door collapsed, a body flying through it. In the doorway, you could make out your mother heaving in labored breaths. You let out a small gasp as you looked at her eyes.

They were dark blue. And they were glowing.

You watched as she stomped on a floorboard, pulling something from underneath. She unsheathed a sword that gleamed in the light. The light that reflected off your mother’s sword shined in your eyes, and you stumbled backward. You couldn’t see much of the fight, but when you saw your mother standing over a man, you thought it was almost over. You thought your mother had won.

But the man pulled out a gun.

Dahlia didn’t have any time to react before she felt a searing pain tear through her chest. She tried to fight against it, but it was like her body was paralyzed. You covered your mouth with your hands, tears running down your face as she collapsed to the floor. You tried your hardest to not make any noise as you watched your mother take her final breaths.

The man stood from the floor and dusted himself off as if he hadn’t just taken your mother’s life. Two men walked in, dragging your blood covered father behind them. They looked at the woman on the floor, and one of them chuckled. “We thought she almost had you, soldier.”

The man looked at him with cold eyes, his voice cutting through the silence. “What did I say about talking to me?”

The other man gulped, “Don’t.”

You only heard a deep grunt in response before the man they called soldier spoke again. “Outside. Let’s go.”

You immediately stepped back into the coats that filled the closet. You watched as they dragged your father back outside, the soldier following behind them. You could vaguely hear your father speaking as you slowly left the closet. “Please, leave them alone. I’ll give you whatever you want.”

You went up to your mom, tears in your eyes as you realized she was not yet dead. She took labored breaths as you cradled her head in your lap, careful to not make a sound.

“Y/N,” She croaked quietly. “You have to run.”

“I can’t leave you, Mom.” You whispered.

“You have to.” You could see her eyes rolling back. “Take the twins and run.”

With tears streaming down your cheeks, all you could do was murmur little no’s as her eyes rolled back in her head and closed for the final time. Quietly, you put her head back on the floor, wincing as you heard your father groan in pain. You went to the cabinet and whispered your arrival before opening the doors. “Melody, Harmony,” You started. “We have to run. But you still can’t make a noise.”

They nodded quickly, tears gathering once again in their eyes. “Where’s Mommy and Daddy?” Melody asked.

You parted your lips to answer but hesitated as you looked in the direction of your mother’s body. You shook your head. “Let’s go, c’mon.”

On the way out the back door, you reached under the kitchen table, grabbing the handgun that your father taught you to use. You tucked into the back of your pants before following the girls into the woods. As you entered the mess of grass and trees, you heard of the men shout, “They’re getting away!”

You tried your best to lose them, making sure you and the girls zigzagged to confuse them a bit. However, the three men had been trained in tracking their prey. It was only a matter of time.

Believing you’d lost them, you allowed yourself and your sisters to stop for a drink of water at a stream. They sat on the edge where you could see them as you crouched down and splashed your face with water. “Y/N?” Harmony asked.

“Hm?”

“You know we never mean it when we say we hate you?”

You looked up at their wide eyes as they sit side by side, cuddling with each other. Your brow furrowed as you stood up straight. “Of course I know that. Why do you ask?”

Melody watched the water as she spoke timidly. “Sometimes, when we got mad at Mommy and Daddy, we said we hate them, but now we don’t know where they are.”

Harmony sniffed, holding back tears. “What if they think we hate them?”

You looked at them sympathetically. You knew they were too young to understand what was going on. Hell, you didn’t even understand. But one thing that you knew for sure was how much your family loved one another. You were not gonna let them feel bad for being children.

You pulled your feet from the mud under you and walked to the edge to sit. Pulling your sisters close to you. “Don’t do that. Mom and Dad know you love them. And they love you, okay? Don’t you ever question that.”

You looked up at the setting sun as the snap of a branch got your attention. When you turned your head, you were relieved to only see a squirrel. Still, you stood up and dusted your pants off. “We should keep moving. Let’s go.”

Your sisters groaned but stood up anyway. You let them walk in front of you so you could see them. You hadn’t gotten a hundred feet away from the stream when it happened.

You felt something zip past your right ear and then your left one. Just like that, your sisters were on the ground, blood pouring from their bodies. You were paralyzed with fear and with anger. The only thing that made you turn around was the command of a voice. “Move and you’re dead.”

You could hear two sets of footsteps coming up to the scene as you heard the man’s gun cock loudly. Suddenly, the booming voice who you recognized as the soldier who killed your mom carried through the air.

“I gave you one command. To capture the kids.”

“What does it matter?” You heard the man turn around. “Two less witnesses.”

“Do you know what happens to people who disobey me?”

“Please, tell me. What hap—“

He didn’t get the chance to answer. While they were talking, you’d turned around and pulled out your gun. With shaky hands, you’d aimed at the man’s head, your teeth grinding in anger. You pulled the trigger, and the man fell face forward onto the ground.

Just like your sisters.

That was when you finally saw the man who killed your mother. His hair was long and brown, his eyes a shade of blue that seemed to pierce through to your soul. What caught your attention though was his arm, the metal clicking into place as he straightened the limb. Letting out a huff, he leaned over to the last man. “Go prep the van.”

As he went to follow orders, the soldier stared you down, not worried about the gun you pointed at him. “You’re not gonna win this, kid.”

You said nothing as you simply cocked the gun once more. He sighed and watched your hands shake. You pulled the trigger once, your brow raising in shock when he catches it and drops the piece of metal to the ground.

With tears welling up in your eyes, you pull the trigger again. And again. And again. The soldier uses his metal arm to deflect them all, careful to not send then ricocheting back to you as he steps closer and closer with every shot.

Finally, the barrel is empty, and he is towering over you. He roughly grabs the gun and throws it to the side, causing you to jump.

“Let’s go, kid.”

Everything else was a blur of your screams and your family’s dead bodies. You vaguely remembered him throwing you over his shoulder, hardly flinching as you punched his back and kicked at his front. Once back to the clearing, he threw you into the back of a van and looked down at you. You thought you saw a glimpse of sympathy as he placed his hands on the doors. He then avoided your gaze and looked down at the ground. “Just be glad you’re alive.”

When he closed the doors, you were only left with a reflection of yourself.

Your eyes were dark blue. And they were glowing.

Forever Tags:

@jockarchie, @kimmy-h-life, @ben-platt-deserves-the-world , @thewordofthenerd , @wishuponastarlana, @yumel21, @here-for-your-bullshit, @bethbat, @iamafangirlofeverything

#thor odinson x reader #thor x reader #bucky x platonic!reader #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #Gætir series

71 notes · View notes