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emerald-chaos · 3 years

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Touchdown

*gif not mine, credit goes to the owner*

I just want to take a moment to say thank you for the love on my last fic! It made my lil ole heart swell to see that peopled enjoyed it enough to leave a like or reblog.

This is just something special I had in my arsenal that I wrote for a friend a few months ago. I touched it up a bit and added a few things here and there. It all started when we were talking about how much we loved when Chris' accent got heavier after he'd been drinking, and well, I couldn't help myself lol. I hope you enjoy the fluff! xoxo

I apologize for any grammatical errors, I tried to proof-read but am also a little exhausted lol.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2844

Warnings: I don't think there's anyway? Mentions of being drunk/drinking alcohol, cursing, and illusions to sexy times, but that's about it.

You hadn’t noticed how furiously your knee was bouncing up and down until the person sitting next to you on the subway got up to move seats once the train squealed to a stop. You sighed and ran your hands down the front of your thighs. Normally being a little late didn’t bother you as much, but tonight you were meeting him.

You flipped your wrist over to check your watch. 8:30pm. In all honesty, it had probably been only thirty seconds later than when you checked it the last time. Another deep sigh escaped from your lips as you started to become hyper aware of the train remaining still at the current stop. What could possibly be taking so long? You knew he wouldn’t care if you were running late, but the time the two of you had together already felt so minuscule. You wanted to capitalize on every second you could.

The train began moving again and you slumped back into your seat, feeling only a small amount of relief. It was becoming painfully apparent that you needed to try and relax. You could feel the sweat building up on your body, the sting on your palms from where your fingernails were pressing in with a vengeance moments ago, and you could hear your heart thumping in your ears. Your hand dug around in your purse for a few moments before finding the small case you were looking for. Opening it, you slipped your headphones into your ears and let your head rest on the window behind you as music intertwined with your thoughts.

Once upon a time, you made fun of people who decided to go to grad school. What kind of a clown would spend thousands of MORE dollars and go BACK to school?? Not to mention the stress of the assignments, the due dates - it was not for you...or so you thought.

Now here you are, a regular booboo the fool.

NYU’s graduate program for design and merchandising wasn’t necessarily part of your 5-year plan, but when the opportunity landed in front of you it was difficult to pass up. NYU was a school you had only dreamt of attending back in high school. When you were a senior in high school you were able to tour the campus and fell in love immediately. Hours upon hours were spent researching grants, scholarships, and all sorts of ways to try to make it happen. However, the dream ended as most teenage dreams do - crushed. There was no way you or your parents could afford the loans that it would surely wrack up to attend the out of state university, and there was no way you could ask your parents take on that kind of debt just so you could go to college. UMass was the way to go - close to home and familiar. Not to mention you were able to obtain several scholarships and grants that helped bring down the cost tremendously. Little did you know, boring ole UMass would bring you one of the most important things in your life.

Applying for graduate school wasn’t an easy decision and one you couldn’t really take all the credit for. A smile crept across your face as you reminisced on the night you nervously brought up the idea to your long-term boyfriend.

“I think you should do it,”

“I know, right?” you scoffed, “it’s insane, why would I do something so stup...wait, what? You do?”

“Of course I do. This is something you love and that you’re passionate about. Do you know how many hours of my life were spent listening to you ramble about NYU?” he questioned with a grin.

“It will open up so many doors for you. We can make things work,” a chuckle escaped from those beautiful lips as he saw your dumbfounded expression. He wrapped his fingers around your waist and pulled you close, “What? Did you expect me to forbid it? Cmon, baby, what kind of guy do you take me for?”

You didn’t have a lot of wins in your life, but you did have Chris.

When you got accepted, he took off a week from work to drive you 3 and a half hours south to help get you settled and moved into your temporary new home. The two of you ate a disgusting amount of pizza, moved a ridiculous amount of heavy furniture in the middle of a summer heat wave, and enjoyed each other’s company before the long-distance thing would set in. Chris spent that week encouraging you every step of the way, talking you off the ledge when you were convinced you had made the wrong decision, and made sure to help you christen every possible surface of your new place in the most deliciously sinful way.

You bit your lip slightly at the thought and a warm feeling spread across your face. Chris was one of the most incredible people you had met in this world. Kind, caring, funny, intelligent, passionate, and god was he sexy. The connection the two of you had was scary at first, but now you just couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone else.

The robotic voice came over the loud-speaker in the subway car and you were rudely ripped back to reality as it pulled into your stop. You hurriedly scooped up your bag and jogged off the train.

It had been a promise between the two of you when you moved that there would be equal effort when it came to visiting and keeping in contact while having good, open communication. Long distance was hard but the two of you were determined to make it work. FaceTime calls, hours upon hours of texting, and even as far as writing the occasional letter back and forth (because your boyfriend was a hopeless romantic and you loved it so much). This weekend was your turn to come home to visit, and of course your last class had to go longer than anticipated. Fuckin’ Tiffany and her stupid ass questions.

The muscles of your calves burned as you kept up your hurried pace, weaving through the crowds of people gathered on sidewalks outside of various clubs and restaurants. It was a weekend night and the Patriots were playing, which meant the city was more alive than usual. New York was it's own beast, but it was a different type of hustle and bustle. Nights like these made your heart ache for home - the thick Massachusetts accents, the rowdy voices of bar patrons arguing about the game, the hugs shared between family members as they parted after dinner, and the faint smell of nicotine and alcohol that hung in the air.

As the neon sign that hung in the pub window came in to view you felt your heart dip down into your stomach. Last weekend’s visit had to be cancelled due to some stuff coming up with Chris’ work and a surprise assignment for you, so you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in 2 weeks. With a deep breath you swung open the door and scanned the crowd for him. He told you that he would be there promptly at 7:15pm for pregame shenanigans with his friends - which actually translated to how many pitchers of beer could they suck down before kick off.

“Aw, come ON! That is such a bullshit call!”

You heard him before you saw him. Of course. A grin spread across your lips as you shook your head. The thought of leaving to avoid secondhand embarrassment crossed your mind briefly before you picked up your feet and made your way through the crowd toward the sound. A room full of people from New England and you would still recognize that voice anywhere.

Everyone else seemed to fade away as you saw the outline of the tall, dark haired man standing at the bar. The slight freckles that spattered the back of his neck, the Brady jersey that he spent WAY too much money customizing, and the signature backward ball cap were ingrained in your subconscious memory. Not to mention if you didn’t recognize his outline or his voice, you would definitely recognize that ass anywhere.

You loved how passionate he got about sports and the way his Boston accent seemed to get thicker with each beer he consumed. Growing up in the area, you wouldn't think the accent would send a tingle down your spine the way it does, but it was different - it was Chris. Not to mention the sparkle in his eye when he would watch his favorite team or the way he would get in to arguments whenever someone tried to say something negative about them. You loved your big, handsome, over-sized toddler man so damn much.

A light tap on his shoulder made him whip around, his slightly opened mouth from his interrupted conversation curved upwards into a wicked grin as he made the connection of who was finally standing in front of him.

“Hey there, handsome. I don’t see a ring on your finger. You single?” You grinned, feeling your entire body fill with warmth as Chris leaned back and grabbed his chest as he erupted in laughter.

“Nah, nah, nah, unfortunately for you I am taken” he responded as he snaked his arms around your waist, sliding his hands into your back pockets as he pulled you into his figure.

“That is too bad,” you tsk'd, running a finger down his toned bicep, “she’s one lucky girl.”

“I think I’m the lucky one,” he grinned. He leaned down to meet your lips in a kiss. You sighed into it, allowing your body to mold itself so perfectly into his. The taste of beer on his lips and the smell of his cologne was intoxicating - it was home. You immediately allowed him entrance as you felt his tongue glide along your bottom lip. Your body felt small in his strong grip and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit as he gave your ass a firm squeeze. Normally, this type of bold, public display of affection would make you cringe away but at this point you were lost in Chris that you had absolutely no shame. Each time the two of you embraced had always felt like the first. Your heart still fluttered and your knees still got weak, like you were a 16 year old being kissed for the first time.

In the middle of your reunion moment, however, something happened in the game that made the entire bar erupt in boo’s and curses. Chris lifted his lips from yours to look over his shoulder and inspect what he had missed. You laughed and shook your head as you pushed him back towards his friends and took a seat in the bar stool he had been standing behind initially. His large hands found a natural place on your shoulders. While his eyes remained glued on the TV he began applying a moderate amount of pressure to your neck and shoulders. You didn’t realize how much your body craved that touch, his touch, until you immediately melted back into him.

The bartender slid a beer in front of you with a wink and you mouthed your thanks. You felt a twinge in your heart as you looked around, taking in the atmosphere of the bar. This was a typical weekend night for the two of you whenever you were living together. Football, drinks, pub food, and friends. If it wasn’t this pub it was your living room, just a couple blocks away. You didn’t even mind that it was your first night back and you weren’t alone, spending it immediately wrapped up in your satin sheets. The atmosphere, the people - it was so warm and familiar that you really wouldn’t rather be doing anything else. Plus, being wrapped up together in the sheets was sure to follow.

“I missed you,” hummed a pair of lips as they placed a kiss on the shell of your ear. A shiver shot down your spine at the sensation of his warm breath fanning over your neck. You reached up a hand and connected it to the nape of his neck.

“I missed you too,” you replied, turning your head to plant a kiss on his stubbled cheek.

His arms changed position as he wrapped them in front of your shoulders and crossed them, resting his chin on the top of your head. Your hand absentmindedly rubbed his forearms as you nursed your beer and placed your focus onto the game for the first time tonight.

The laughter seemed to escape from your chest naturally and effortlessly the entire night, as it always had a habit of doing when Chris was around. The camaraderie between him and his buddies during a game was something you’d grown to enjoy over the years. Chris’ competitive nature and the way his jaw clenched when something wasn’t going the way he wanted was always kinda...hot. All of his friends were huge assholes, but in the best way. It was always entertaining to hear them jab at each other and do what they could to rile someone up. They were the life of every party you had ever attended and they had a way of making a boring night a lot more interesting.

Thankfully (for the integrity of the bar) the Pats won the game with a surprise touchdown in the last 30 seconds of the game. Chris, being the guy he is, bought a final round for his friends and a nearby group they had been going back and forth with all night. You couldn’t help but laugh as he drunkenly leaned across the counter and slurred his order to the bartender.

“I need a round for m’friends and for these assholes over here who thought Tom Brady was anything but a winner!” the group started yelling in protest and he simply waved them off and started sliding beers down the bar.

The group eventually moved to a bigger round top so everyone could shoot the shit and banter about the outcome of the game. You were tucked into Chris’ side, hands intertwined as he was passionately discussing the importance of Brady’s legacy with a stranger who made the mistake of stopping to talk to him. Your eyes followed the motion of your thumb as it traced small circles onto the back of his. Your other hand under your chin, holding up the weight of your head as your exhaustion started to catch up with you. Chris, although slightly drunk, picked up on your body language and raised your hand to his lips for a kiss.

“Alright, fellas,” he said as he stood up from his seat, pulling you up with him, “the lady and I are gonna call it a night. See you boys next weekend”.

“Chris, we don’t have to go,” you began to protest as he tucked his jacket around your shoulders.

“Mm, ‘course we do,” he replied with a soft smile, “you’re so tired, baby. I can see it in those beautiful eyes”.

You could feel your cheeks turn a light shade of pink as you rolled your eyes at his attempt at laying it on thick. After what felt like a proper 10 minute goodbye session, the group said their final goodbyes, hugs included, and you walked out of the pub hand in hand.

The walk home was filled with the sounds of cars passing by and conversation of what each other had missed in the week prior. Small talk typically felt like such a chore, but with Chris every conversation came naturally. Even when he had absolutely no idea what you were talking about, he would listen intently and ask all the questions as if it was the most interesting conversation in the world.

The lock on the apartment door clicked as you pushed it open and entered. You smiled as you stopped into the middle of the living room, taking in the home you missed so dearly. A soft tapping of toenails against the hardwood made your heart soar as you met the eyes of your sweet pup, Dodger. A squeal left your lips as you squatted down to give love to the sweet boy. Chris always made fun of you when you came home, saying that you always seemed to miss Dodger more than you did him and I mean, he wasn’t entirely wrong about that statement.

Once again lost in your own world, you didn’t even notice Chris leaned up against the wall watching you with a smile.

“Oh my god,” you gushed, standing up, “do you like...like me or something?”

Chris grinned as he crossed the room and caught your belt loop with his finger, pulling you into him slowly.

“Yeah,” his voice had dropped down an octave, “you could say that”.

“Mm,” your tongue swiped across your lower lip and you wrapped your arms around his neck, “care to show me how much?”

The look in his eyes made your core burn. The tension building between you two became too much to handle as you crashed your lips into his. The kisses were messy and you could feel the sense of urgency between you two. His beard scratched against the column of your throat with a delicious burn as he left wet kisses across your jaw and down the side of your neck. Chris’ hands found their way back into the ass pockets of your jeans as he started walking you back towards the direction of the bedroom.

Soon, there was a trail of clothes leading to your bedroom and you felt very sorry for your neighbors. It had been a long time, but Chris always had a way of welcoming you home.

#eeeeeeee #i love soft drunk boston frat chris so much it pains me #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans #chris evans headcanons #chris evans imagines #chris evans fic #chris evans fluff #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #chris evans/reader #chris evans/you #fluff #imagines #headcanons

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maddogofshimano · 3 years

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A Particular Kyoudai’s New Years

Spoilers for Y4 and Y5

This one is extremely near and dear to my heart, it’s so so nice. I had to do a lot of cultural research for it because I didn’t know a whole lot about new years traditions in japan, so expect a lot of notes in this one too.

This one was also a sugoroku event, here’s the chibi Saejima to go with it.

I also really like the details on Majima’s new years outfit, look at the hannya snakes on the fan and on the liner fabric!

That was the only card I put real life money in to get, I spent so many diamonds on him. I had saved up around 7k and ground out another 7k from stories I hadn’t done yet and still had to put in 10 bucks before I got him, but I still have every single Majima card so it’s worth it.

Summary: At the end of 2012, Saejima has been served his papers to go back to jail, and will be going back in a week. Majima decides that they should celebrate this New Years in a big way then! Saejima would really rather just stay home, but Majima has a whole day planned out and it’s going to end with a bang.

It’s New Years Day, 2013. Saejima will be returning to jail in a week, and is currently with Majima in the family office. Saejima complains that Majima is already drinking, Majima retorts that New Years is a drinking holiday, so he’s gonna drink! Saejima doesn’t feel much like celebrating since Kiryu’s still in the hospital.

Saejima: You're too youthful, kyoudai. How are ya burnin' even brighter than ya were back then? Majima: You've always been an old man. ...Yeah, that settles it! Saejima: What? Majima: I want my kyoudai to have a great new year! Let's start the celebrations!! Saejima: Wh- all the sudden? Ehhh, let's just have a quiet time together here. Majima: What, just gonna blow me off? Saejima: ...Okay. Where we going? Majima: I'm gonna get us a ride, don't worry! Go get yourself ready. Hey! Nishida! Nishida: On it sir! Saejima: ...? Majima: <changes clothes> Yeah! Now I'm feelin' the new year!

Saejima: ...Are we really goin' out like this?

Majima: Of course we are, idiot! Why the hell else would I get changed!

Majima: Alright! Let's roll out in my favorite yukata~ Saejima: Good grief. Don't get too excited. I guess goin' on a little date can't be helped huh. Well, he'll probably get tired of it right away. (Tl note: date here is 付き合い which is more “associating” in the dictionary but used a LOT for romantic dates)

The two of them make their way to their first stop, a back alley where they’re going to play hanetsuki, which is similar to badminton. Saejima dunks on Majima’s fashion choices. Majima complains that there aren’t enough people around to see his fashion choices.

They finally stop squabbling about fashion and get ready to play only to get interrupted by two goons who start talking shit. Majima asks if they should just beat them up, that could be fun? Saejima says nah, they’re not even worth the effort, besides we were here first so they have to step off. Majima throws his wallet into the air because he’s tired of carrying it, and the goons agree that whoever wins at hanetsuki gets to stay.

Unfortunately, Majima wants to hit EVERYTHING, and collides with Saejima in his attempt to steal a shot that Saejima could have gotten easily. Saejima declares that they each gotta stay on their own side and deal with only stuff on that side. Majima gets bored of playing since he has to actually wait, and zones out while a shot sails right past him.

Saejima is ready to throttle him.

Saejima: Kyoudai! Stop bein' so moody! goon a: Hahaha! You keep calling each other kyoudai but you're not in sync at all (Tl note: this is also like, a match for each other, as in "they are a perfect match for each other") goon b: I guess they're """kyoudai""" huh? Haha. Both: WHO'S NOT IN SYNC, IDIOTS??

They were down 9:0, but from here on play seriously, and come back to win 10:9. The goons jump them, because they want Majima’s wallet full of cash, and unsurprisingly get their asses kicked by the jimas.

Next up they head to Tojo HQ; turns out the Majima Family has rented the whole place out for New Years. Minami has prepared something...

The next stage is kakizome! It’s like a new years resolution. Majima, Nishida, and Minami all get to writing their new years goals, and Saejima thinks he’s kind of old to be doing this, but whatever. Nishida’s goal is revealed first: he wants to build a house for his parents!

Majima: Ughhhh, boring Nishida: I'M SORRY BOSS! Saejima: ...Nishida, why are you in the Majima family...? Minami: Boss! I'm done with mine!! Majima: Let's see if you did good... Minami: Here it is! "REVENGE MATCH"

Minami says that he wants to get as good as Majima, who is clearly better than Saejima, so he needs to get a rematch with Saejima after losing to him 3 years ago. Majima is thrilled, Saejima agrees to the fight. Saejima wins but says Minami is getting stronger, and if he keeps at it maybe he can still fulfil it this year. Majima says he's done with all this new years writing and Saejima says he already wrote his, it's "The Top". It's also the exact thing that Majima wrote down.

Saejima: Back when I was in the Sasai family, I wanted to make a name for him. I felt like I wanted to see how far up the ladder I could climb. I keep that feelin' with me even now. Majima: Hehehe! I think we'll see who's the strongest soon. Kyoudai... even if I'm your opponent, don't give up on that feeling, alright? Saejima: Heh, that's my line

Onwards to stage 3! This time it’s hatsumōde, the first shrine visit of the year.

Saejima: We're doin' this in the wrong order. Majima: Whatever! I'm gonna go pray! Saejima, internally: Kyoudai... why are you makin' such a mysterious face? It's not like you to rely on a god Saejima: What'd you write on your ema? I already got my miracle Majima: Don't worry none about me. Next we're drawin' you a fortune! Saejima: ...? Saejima: So this is the fortune huh... oh! Major blessing! (Tl note: the luckiest possible draw) What's it say, what's it say... "You are going to have the best fight of your life"... Wow, this is one dangerous shrine! What the hell?

Saejima immediately gets jumped by a goon. Those fortunes work fast, huh? He wins easily and threw the goon into the ema wall and knocked them over, and when he was picking them back up he found Majimas which said "I wish that Sasai will recover"

"Thank you so much. Kyoudai."

Next we’re doing fukubukuro, new years blind bags that have random items at a discount. The guy selling them sure looks reputable!

They both buy one and head over to the park to open them, but Majima gets a call that the Majima Family office has been robbed! Everyone was at Tojo HQ, but they’re looking for who did it now. Even Majima’s safe was opened and the contents taken. Majima apologizes and has to run off to the office, leaving Saejima to open the bags himself. The first one has............... a snakeskin jacket? He knows Majima custom orders these! The shop keeper!

Saejima goes back and kicks his ass and recovers all the Majima Family items in time for Majima to come back. The item in the safe was a wedding ring, and Majima apparently hasn’t told Saejima anything about being married. Saejima wonders what else Majima has gone through while he was in jail.

Now we’re doing osechi, traditional new years food! Nishida made a dish, and here’s the general meanings of what all he put in them:

tai - good luck ebi - long life kazunoko - wanting a lot of kids in the coming year (Tl note: this one caught be off guard but it’s PROBABLY wanting to grow the families lol) roast beef - no special meaning date maki - more good luck

Two Majima family guys are out in front of HQ making mochi, but they got way too much. Minami ate so much of it that he collapsed, but Saejima refuses to let this rice flour go to waste, so he and Majima head out to theater square and just start making mochi there. Minami and Nishida are selling it to everyone, and it’s a huge hit.

(This guy is saying it’s really delicious, but his face is looking like they just shot his dog)

Some dude hassles them about the mochi, they kick the shit out of him, and get down to their final two. Majima says he knows exactly who he wants to give them to, and takes Saejima to Yasuko’s grave.

Saejima thinks to himself that there's no question about it, when he's not around Majima is always taking care of this grave. He tries to give Majima the "thank you so much" line but Majima brushes it off as something he just felt like doing, nbd

Majima: Well, Majima Goro's present to you this year is this new year's tour. Did ya like it? Anythin' ya still wanna do? Saejima: Nothin'. This whole day has been a lot of fun. Majima: That so? Good, then it's time for the final stop. Let's go... kyoudai.

Majima: It's been a long time since we've been here. Since that fight Saejima: Yeah. Why's this the final stop of our tour? Majima: Heh, why indeed? ..............I decided on that night that if it was the end, I wanted to go all the way, but I didn't get to. And now, you're going back to jail. Leaving things all pent up and half done just isn't in my nature. Saejima: Did you do this whole tour just for this? Majima: More or less. Well, there were some troubles on the way. Hanetsuki for a warm up. New Year's writing to make sure ya still had that fire in ya. Saejima: And that fortune saying I'd have the best fight of my life... I shoulda figured somethin' was up. Majima: Does it hurt to just get that now? And the grab bags... that went kinda sideways, but I intended it to be some stress relief. And then deliscious food is good for ya mentally and physically. Saejima: I'm amazed at how into this you are. Do you remember what you said before? "You're gettin' soft, come back to the Tojo clan with your teeth sharpened. If ya get soft, it's over for you". <RECEIVE AND SLASH YOU CUTS IN> Well, let's check if my fangs are soft now. Majima: ...Hehehe. Yeah, that's the look I wanna see! That's Saejima Taiga... my kyoudai! Saejima: Let's go, Majima!!

They fight and both collapse to the ground and gush about how much fun this all was. The ending card then cuts in

A few days later.......... Saejima Taiga himself suspended his probation and turned himself in. He was sent to Abashiri prison. Majima continued supporting Daigo and the Tojo clan. In their pursuit of climbing all the way to the top of the Tojo clan.............. these two beasts will keep fighting.

<END>

Whew! Also, ouch!!

I also translated most if not all of Saejima’s thoughts, here’s some of the highlights.

Batting Center I went with my kyoudai to the batting center. We used to bring Yasuko stuff like homerun prizes as gifts. ...I miss her. Wood Carving As part of my penal labor I learned wood carvin', so now it's a hobby of mine. One is being displayed by the entrance to HQ.

Kanrai I joined up cause of my patriarch. The Sasai Family was a respectable and good family, which I should feel good about, but I just feel sorry

Purgatory Coliseum Why would you fight a tiger? People really are fuckin' idiots nowadays. I'm going to make em stop. The tiger's miserable. Kyoudai Wearin' an eyepatch and makin' a ruckus... He really changed a lot while I was gone, but the same roots are still there. He really is Majima Goro. Hair style In the old days I would let my hair grow out until Yasuko complained, but going with the shaved look ain’t too bad. This is the only thing I can empathize with Shimano on.

Stray Cats These cats were abandoned. I've already gotten attached. Well, I guess the number of cats in the family office is gonna increase...

Clothes Even now I still wear the clothes I got from Kiryu. Heh. That guy has good taste. I’m still wearing hand-me-downs. Karaoke It’s not that I hate singing, but I don’t like doin’ it in front of people. I’ll play the tambourine though.

#rggo #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku online #yakuza #Majima #Saejima #Nishida #Minami

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kosakka · 3 years

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Boku no Hero Academia x Hedone High crossover pics for Darqx's birthday. (I know it's super early but ehhh)

Enjoy my student profiles and dumb captions lol

D: "Do you mind?"

Izm: "Nah, just keep doin what you're doin."

D: >:/

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Izm

Type: Well-rounded Hero

Quirk: Spider

His quirk has altered his appearance somewhat, as he has 4 extra arms protruding from his back, a grayish tint to his skin, red eyes, and pronounced canines. He is nimble, can climb walls, has a Spidey sense, and can produce a paralytic agent from his fangs that lasts about an hour.

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A.E.D.

Type: Jack-of-all-Trades Hero

Quirk: Total Recall

The ability to remember all sensory/etc. information he's read/experienced and recall it immediately if prompted. This carries over into tasks that don't require a quirk to perform, such as watching a tutorial and being able to complete that task any time after that (though external stress can affect his concentration/ability to perform it). Scouted by the government to send through the hero program in preparation to join the intelligence agency, bc they don't want villains to get their hands on him and use him as a spy themselves. Ambidextrous.

Marcus: "Don't surprise me like that!"

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Marcus

Type: Rescue Hero

Quirk: Stasis

His quirk allows him to temporarily stop time in a given area or thing (living or nonliving) that he touches. This has many applications, such as bracing a collapsing building long enough to evacuate, or allowing the time needed for critical patients to get life-saving care.

Zeke: "Ughhh... What day is it?"

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Zeke

Type: Endurance Hero

Quirk: Borrowed Time

He can take kinetic energy from his body to push beyond his limits/stay awake for a couple days, but then he passes out cold for the following 48 hours to make up for it. Since he's still learning to control it/crams for tests sometimes it ends up with him accidentally triggering it so his sleep schedule is always wrecked.

Ren: "This code is a mess..."

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Wei Ren

Type: Business/Support Class

Quirk: Technobabble

The ability to access, process/read code through touch, and upload his own code in response. Works in support team program: research and development of hero gear, but freelances as a cyber security consultant for pocket money and enjoys modding video games in his spare time.

#darqx #hedone high #hedonehigh #izm tanner #aed #crossover art #wei ren #zeke #marcus #bnha crossover #bnha #hh #birthday art 2021

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ivyuns · 3 years

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violation❆♞♣

hwang hyunjin

genre: angst | bit of fluff

word count: 1.7k

warnings: swearing, mentions of guns, blood, death, pregnancy + not proof read oops lol

A/N: lol hyunjin kinda psycho in this

this was drowning in my drafts since may omg

masterlist

mafia!hyunjin x fembarista!reader

y/f/n = ur fiance’s name

you owned your own cafe in downtown seoul. your customers and employees were always great people and bought positivity around you. it was currently a busy day and everyone was in and out of the main entrance. the employees were trying their best to stay calm and keep a positivity mindset. you however, were distracted by the co-owner, hwang hyunjin.

hyunjin always seemed like that flirty but a suspicious type. everyone told you to stay away from him since you were little but how could you when you two were inseparable. it all started in kindergarten.

you were running around the classroom til your teacher yelled out “stop” and everyone looked at her. you saw a little boy. next to the teacher, waiting to be introduced. “hello kids, we have a new student! please introduce youself.” the teacher says.

“hi im sam hwang from korea. please take care of me” he says softly and hides. the teacher tells him theres nothing to be scared of and let him wonder around the classroom. you went up to him and introduced yourself. “hi sam! my name is y/n kwon. i’m also from korea!”. hyunjins head went up and eyes went big. “y-you’re from korea?!” he stuttered since he was lowkey excited that someone in his class was korean, just like him. you smiled and nodded your head. you grabbed his hand and dragged him to the playground to continue recess.

2 years later in summer, your best friend came over with his parents to tell these news. hyunjin came in your room with a sad smile as you were playing with your stuffed animals. you looked up and smiled at him, “hi hyunjin!” you said cheerfully, obviously in a better mood than him. “y/n, i need to tell you something” he said sadly. he went to go sit across of you and picked up some of the toys around your room.

“i’m moving back to korea.” you stopped your actions after hearing what he said. “moving? why?” you looked up at him. “m-my parents said it’s best for us to go back to korea because we only came here for my dad’s work, but he ended up leaving the job and now we’re going to go back” hyunjin looks up to see tears falling out of your eyes. he went to your side and hugged you, telling you that you’ll be spending quality time before he leaves.

after moving back to korea after years hyunjin left you, you opened your own cafe. as your shop was almost completed for the grand opening, hyunjin happened to pass by your shop. he looked through the window and saw a girl that looked so familiar to him.

knocking on the window to get your attention, you go the the door to unlock it and stick your head out of the window. “hyunjin?!” he looks at you with his eyes big. “y/n? what are you doing here?” hyunjin asks. “i recently moved here and now im starting a business” hyunjin nods his head.

“are you looking for any employees?” nodding your head. “yeah but i guess around this area, nobody wants to work at a cafe” you joked. “maybe i can help? i-i mean if you want to” hyunjin laughs. nodding your head, you lead him inside the cafe. hyunjin looks at your artwork and the nicely decorated shop, amazed.

handing a paper that has all the requirements and terms in order to start working here. after hyunjin was done signing it, you looked at the paper and gave him a thumbs up. “looks good! ill give you a call whenever we start” hyunjin nods his head and waves a goodbye to you.as hyunjin exits, he now knows where his target is.

2 hours earlier:

“hwang” chan calls out.

hyunjin looks up from his phone and sees chan carrying files. “remember that girl youd always talk about? kwon y/n? your childhood best friend back in america?” he nods. “apparently her dad is in a gang too and stole our money for whatever reason. so now your mission is to find her, bring her here, and kill her”

hyunjin gulps.‘why? did you do something wrong? what do you have to deal with this? does she know about this?’ all of hyunjins thoughts were about you. “ill do it”he knows he cant do it. but he has to or else he’ll be kicked out of stray kids. after moving back to korea and his parents suddenly passing, he was lonely. until stray kids saved him from being in the dark and invited him to their family. he gladly accepted.

hyunjin goes to his room and does research about you. he finds your instagram and sees that youre opening a cafe around the little area of downtown seoul which was a few hours away from his place. after enough of his little research, he grabs his jacket and heads out to find you.

present time:

the first week of the grand opening was a hassle. the cafe was always packed and made the employees feel stressed. as the cafe was almost settled, you told the workers to take a break as you and hyunjin will do everything else.

finishing an iced americano, you could see from the corner of your eyes and sees hyunjins strange actions. ignoring it, you gave the drink to the correct customer and continued making drinks.

closing time finally happened and everyone left out a huge sigh. having a group meeting, you gave everyone their weekly paycheck. “thank you everyone for working hard. i will see you tomorrow morning!” you waved goodbye and smiled. as soon as you saw almost everyone leave, you turned around and started cleaning.

hyunjin goes next to you and helps you clean the counters and machines. “jin, you know you can leave you know?” you told him as hyunjin lets out a chuckle. “nah its alright. plus as the second ceo, i shall help you” hyunjin winks. stopping your actions, you playfully smack hyunjin across his chest. “hey hey, im just joking. but still, after we finish cleaning, ill take you home” “but you said you have an exam tomorrow? shouldnt you be going home and start studying?” you asked. hyunjin nods his head, defeated. “alright you got me. i promise ill take you home another time” nodding your head, he goes and gets his belongings and leaves.

quickly cleaning the shop, you turn off all the lights and lock all of the doors. turning around to see the whole cafe in one point of view, a smile grew on your face. plugging your earphones in to walk home with your music blasting and texting your family group chat.

y/n: on my way home. the cafe was a success this week :)

mum <3: cheers to a successful opening

dad: come home safely, my son in law is waiting for you

smiling from the excitement, you started walking down the street to get to your house. as you entered this street, it was dark with the moonlight shining. feeling someone following you, you turned around and saw nobody. pulling up hyunjins contact on your phone just in case something happened, you continued walking in a fast pace, turning the volume down.

feeling the same aura from before, you quickly pressed the call button but you heard the familiar ringtone.

“sleep tight princess”

you wake up feeling sore and lost of warmth. opening your eyes, youre in a room thats filled with drywalls and a hwang hyunjin to your left, sitting on a chair. “h-hyunjin?” you called out his name. he looks up from your phone after reading every conversation you had that was about him. “the princess has finally awoken from her slumber” hyunjin smirks.

hyunjin gets off of the chair and goes by your side, lifting your chin up. trying to protest only to be stopped as you felt your limbs tied up. “now now princess, no need to get feisty” hyunjin laughs. “what the fuck do you want hyunjin” “hmm? you really dont know?” shaking your head, hyunjin gets up and walks around the room.

“so, youre saying you dont know what your dad has been doing? the fact that he stole money from me just to help you other with the small disgusting shop of yours?” it hurt. both you and hyunjin. hyunjin wanted to give his mission up and hug you, wipe your tears away and apologize. you were more than hurt. more like angry. hyunjin knew you wanted a cafe when you grew up and he supported you more than anything.

“the fuck are you talking about? youre assuming that my dad stole money from you? from what information is getting in that head of yours?” you shouted out. hyunjin grabs his gun and clicks it. you hear the click and your attention is immediately on hyunjin. “h-hyunjin whatever youre wanting to do, put the gun down first” hyunjin closes his eyes as he feels fresh tears escaping and shakes his head.

“hwang hyunjin! do you not know what youre about to do? tell me what you want from us. we’ll give you your money back- anything just dont pull it-” you stopped talking as soon as you see him point the gun at you. “please hyunjin dont. im pregnant-”

he pulled the trigger.

everyone in the house heard the gun go off and goes to the basement. stopping as they heard hyunjins sobs, they see him on his knees, holding your bloody body and cries into your hair.

chan goes to hyunjin and pats him on the back. “you finally did it hwang”

as hyunjin takes his seat during your funeral, he sees your family and y/f/n go up the stage. after each family member said what they had to say about you and your death, as well as your unborn baby, everybody was now crying their eyes out. “my sunshine. thank you for everyone you love feel happy and we are deeply happy that you were able to start your own business. with the past events, i shouldve came by and picked you up from work before i lost both you and our child. without your presence, nothing will bring a smile onto my face. i love you so much kwon y/n, and i hope you fly high with our baby girl”

lowering your casket down, everyone leaned on each other, crying after they realized the kwon y/n has suddenly passed for an unknown reason at a young age. hyunjin just leaned on a pole and cried. looking up in the sky, he see something that had a little smile form on his face.

‘you’ll be next, hwang’

hyunjin gets into reality and turns around to see who whispered to him. seeing nobody, hyunjins future is now crumbling.

END <3

tf is the end 🥴

#stray kids hyunjin #stray kids angst #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin angst #skz angst #stray kids #jyp skz #jyp stray kids #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #kpop angst #kpop #angst #fluff #amoreskz

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ashyblondwaves · 3 years

Note

Hey I’m not sure if headcanons might help your night or maybe make you smile but I have a couple of questions (if you’re feeling up to it obviously!!)

1. What are your headcanons about Wanda and Vision’s first time?

2. What are some things that they experiment with in the bedroom to either learn about each other or explore some fantasies? Is their safe word paprika?

3. Do they sing in bed when they’re doing the do??

6. Does Vision attempt dirty talk ever? Does it go well and Wanda is just super pleasantly surprised? Does it go terribly and Wanda laughs and Vision gets sad so she fucks a smile back on his face?

7. Has Wanda ever been so drunk that she hit on Vision? Has she been so drunk that Vision hit on her and she was appalled because she has a partner (a human one and tall!)

8. Has Vision ever bought Wanda lingerie, toys, crotch less underwear??

9. Has Wanda ever bought Vision lingerie (if they’re into that or some sexy boxer briefs? Idk fuck gender norms) or a toy or crotch less underwear?

11. Did Wanda’s jaw drop when she saw Vision’s naked body (not out of the cradle but in an intimate setting) for the first time?

12. What was Vision’s reaction to seeing Wanda naked for the first time?

13. Do they do a couples shower on a regular basis (for the environment!!)?

14. Do they ever go to Avengers galas and such and pretend not to be together but still dance and sneak away for some bathroom stall sex? Do they make each other jealous for fun??

15. Have they ever had sex on the ceiling, upside down, floating????

16. Does Vision slide Wanda’s copious rings on and off of her after sex and give her fingers little kissies?

18. Does Vision go out at 3am when she wants some random food due to cravings?

19. Does the family have photo shoots with atrocious coordinating outfits?

20. Are Wanda and Vision pounding one out as we speak??

This is a lot and even if you don’t answer I hope that they give you happy thoughts!! Depression ain’t got nothing on you queen.

Oooh look at all these goodies! I’m stuck here until 7am so let’s crack on with these!

1. What are your headcanons about Wanda and Vision’s first time? It was very slow, very careful. They took care of each other, made sure the other was ok throughout. It was all very new and exciting for them, so it was even a little scary. Wanda wasn’t sure what it’d be like to have sex with a sythezoid and well, it was Vision’s first time, period. He just hoped those pleasure receptors were in working order.

2. What are some things that they experiment with in the bedroom to either learn about each other or explore some fantasies? Is their safe word paprika? Light bondage, teasing, edging, pegging. They also have a game to see if Vision can make Wanda cum before the commercials are over during whatever TV show they’re watching. He’s never lost. Safe word is paprika, sure lol. Just read that in a fic yesterday, I thought that was a cute idea.

3. Do they sing in bed when they’re doing the do?? No singing. That kills the mood instantly.

4. When was the first time they shared a bed? Was it in the compound? Did he hear her having nightmares and go to her? Did she ask him to stay before he came on his own or did she ask him to stay once he had already woken her up? I’d like to think it was at the compound, yes. He knew she was having a rough night and phased through to her room and gently roused her from sleep to make sure she was ok. She asked him to stay. He held her all night.

5. Does vision wear socks? Are they the ones with toes or nah? Does he wear socks while he and Wanda are having sex? Did he have some hilarious fashion moments before he figured out how to put amazing outfits together? He definitely wears socks, but not during sex. Just regular dress socks most of the time since he’s a snappy dresser. I don’t think he had any fashion faux pas. He researched extensively before putting his first outfit together.

6. Does Vision attempt dirty talk ever? Does it go well and Wanda is just super pleasantly surprised? Does it go terribly and Wanda laughs and Vision gets sad so she fucks a smile back on his face? He’s both tried and failed and tried and succeeded. Early on, he wasn’t great at it. His analytical ways got the best of him, but as he loosened up and became more comfortable with things, he got better at it. He also read a lot of Google results on talking dirty after his failed attempt. Wanda rolled with it, she’s endeared by him and never laughs in his face. She just smiles and rolls with it.

7. Has Wanda ever been so drunk that she hit on Vision? Has she been so drunk that Vision hit on her and she was appalled because she has a partner (a human one and tall!) Wanda doesn’t usually let herself get beyond tipsy. She doesn’t like that loss of control that being drunk gives her. But she’s certainly been tipsy enough to whisper some pretty suggestive things to Vision while out in public.

8. Has Vision ever bought Wanda lingerie, toys, crotch less underwear?? He bought some handcuffs to use on Wanda and got her a g-spot stimulator for her birthday while he was still learning how to find it. He really enjoyed watching her use it and it helped him find it himself.

9. Has Wanda ever bought Vision lingerie (if they’re into that or some sexy boxer briefs? Idk fuck gender norms) or a toy or crotch less underwear? She got him some underwear that looked like Santa’s suit for him to wear on Christmas Eve one year. It was ridiculous, but he wore them just long enough to get Wanda going. Wanda also has a couple strap ons for pegging purposes that she bought.

10. How did they approach the idea of pegging? Did they see it in a porn? Did Wanda bring it up as an idea? Did Vision? Was he embarrassed to ask/ did he stumble over his words and act kind of nervous for a couple of days before he asked her? What was her reaction? It was a bit of an awkward conversation. Wanda brought it up one night on a whim to see what Vision would say and to her surprise he agreed and said it was something he’d be willing to try. They spent a lot of time doing research together (Vision insisted) before Wanda bought the strap on and they had a good talk before they tried it for the first time. Safe word, paprika.

11. Did Wanda’s jaw drop when she saw Vision’s naked body (not out of the cradle but in an intimate setting) for the first time? Nah but remember that look she gave him when he was “born”? Think of that but even more lustful.

12. What was Vision’s reaction to seeing Wanda naked for the first time? He thought she was absolutely beautiful. He was in awe of her and tbh still is when he sees her naked.

13. Do they do a couples shower on a regular basis (for the environment!!)? Definitely. Wanda always gets pampered in the shower and she loves it. Standing there while Vision washes her up.

14. Do they ever go to Avengers galas and such and pretend not to be together but still dance and sneak away for some bathroom stall sex? Do they make each other jealous for fun?? After awhile they realized they weren’t fooling anyone and stopped pretending. After that they stayed attached at the hip, were dancing for every slow song played and left early so they could get home and devour each other.

15. Have they ever had sex on the ceiling, upside down, floating???? Well sure! They have the ability, so why not?

16. Does Vision slide Wanda’s copious rings on and off of her after sex and give her fingers little kissies? He plays with her hands after sex. Spins the rings, kissing the tips of her fingers, spins another, kisses her palm. It feels nice, so Wanda lets him indulge.

17. How does Vision make Wanda feel better when she is upset during her pregnancies? Like when she can’t fit into her clothes or when she’s feeling self conscious or when she just gets emotional all of a sudden? Or when she’s having superhero anxiety about safety for the boys, the new baby, Vision, herself? How often does he stare or grab her belly bc he’s obsessed? He’s always there to assure her that she’s beautiful and the reason she can’t fit in her clothes is a good one and it will all be worth it. A protective hand is never far away when Vision is around Wanda’s belly. Vision also gives the best dad talks after the boys are born, helping Wanda to feel better about their safety.

18. Does Vision go out at 3am when she wants some random food due to cravings? You know it!

19. Does the family have photo shoots with atrocious coordinating outfits? No atrocious outfits, but the photos shoots, yes. We saw them in WV! My headcanon of course is that they were Vision’s idea.

20. Are Wanda and Vision pounding one out as we speak?? Of course they are lmao.

#asks #reply #headcanons #Anonymous

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painted-crow · 3 years

Text

Submission Time #12

Another submission from me! I’d meant to put in answers from the quiz… or really, my perpetual arguments with the quiz. But then I got distracted by writing out my thoughts and forgot to do that.

Oof, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are just from this–you sent it in with anonymous on! Hopefully that’s okay.

I get different answers from the quiz at different times. Last time I took it in earnest, stoned out of my mind, I came up Snake/Snake. This time I intentionally hatstalled to get as many questions as I could.

If this is too many words on top of too many words… I am sorry.

I see that lol! I appreciate that there is no lack of information here 😉

However, this post as it came in was VERY long, even by my standards, and for the sake of readability I've done 2 things:

1) Switched to desktop long enough to put in a cut. It broke the blue color I usually put over my replies in order to make these easier to skim, but I'm not putting it back because it's kind of a huge pain to redo.

2) Trimmed out some of the question/answer pairs. You have plenty, so although I read them all, I just kept those I deemed most relevant. I also skipped a few where my responses would have been repetitive. Just an editing decision I hope you'll be okay with.

That said, let's get on with the Sorting.

Primaries

• If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?

I’m not sure that I have a community, but yeah, if my SOs think something is a bad idea, I’ll listen and consider. I’m more likely to be the person disagreeing with and trying to convince someone else, though. Also, sometimes it’s plain easier to go along with things to keep life smooth. But if it was something important… I think I’d have to go with what I think is right, regardless of disagreement. I’ll listen to others, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I won’t not do a thing JUST because of the disapproval of my family.

Suggests internal primary, Lion or Snake.

• What’s your top priority?

I kind of hate this one because I want to answer all three. I want to make the world a better place for the sake of me and mine, and that’s one of my goals. Not one I imagine I can accomplish, but it’s something that matters. My kid will probably see a pretty rough world in the future and I wish I could do something to alter that, beyond trying to be an ethical consumer as much as I can.

This answer feels very grounded and practical. I want to say it feels Liony, partly out of process of elimination but mostly because it just does.

• When you’re making a decision and you’re stuck, what should you do?

Idk, panic? No, not really. I seek advice if relevant, don’t if not, seek out any information I can, think about it… make a decision… and proceed to worry about that decision for the next millenia because what if it wasn’t the right one? I usually go with my my gut choice but 1) sometimes I have to go hunting for that, and by sometimes I mean a lot, and 2) I still research the hell out of it.

The way you’ve answered this says more about your secondary than your primary, imo. You might be a Bird secondary.

• Do you listen to your intuition?

I’d like to, but I don’t trust it. I’m too afraid of everything.

Ooh, interesting. It’s worth noting, people who write to me are often Burned at least somewhat, because Burned Houses are always harder to sort; everyone reacts differently to trauma and comes up with different coping mechanisms. Wonder if you’re an at least somewhat Burned Lion who’s pivoted into Snake, perhaps because it fit with your old value set.

• Someone points out a flaw in your logic. Their argument makes sense, but there’s something about it that just bothers you. Do you change your ways because of what they said?

This one always bothers me. It’s not a thing that happens to me often, but I can’t understand not changing your mind in this situation. If someone points out that you’re wrong… well… you’d better go look into that, hadn’t you? Maybe because I’m constantly seeking to understand myself, and I don’t and that frustrates me, but… I don’t know. I agree with and disagree with all the answers.

This seems Bird at first glance, but it seems you’re too conflicted about it to be straight up unburned Bird (and Burned Birds are usually easier to spot because they tend to be wrapped up in the problem/s they’re struggling with). You might have a model or performance, too early to say.

That line about being frustrated that you don’t understand yourself is also a good hint toward an Idealist primary.

• Does disagreeing with your closest friends about something important to you make you love them less?

No, but I might think less of them, and I will probably argue my points at them in the future. Sometimes I change their mind, sometimes they change mine. I turned my SO into a social liberal, he caused me to adjust my stance on gun control. There’s always give and take.

Sounds healthy. That model’s sounding a bit more likely here. I’d be very curious if you turned out to be a burned Lion who actually had a healthy Bird model–that would be rare o.o

• What if everyone you loved left you? They betrayed you, abandoned you, or died, and you’re hurting. What keeps you moving forward?

This question makes me want to tear my hair out, because those are all different things.

If everyone I loved died, I would probably have a massive breakdown, spend a year laying in bed, and then use whatever money I inherited or insurance payouts I got to go try and live the life I’ve always vaguely wanted, traveling. I wouldn’t seek out relationships but I imagine I would, eventually, form new connections. It would hurt, but I would rebuild.

If they abandoned me, or betrayed me, which is… kind of the same, I guess, because abandoning me without cause is a betrayal… well, I would probably be confused, and angry, and curl into a ball and want to die, and then turn into a lifelong curmudgeon the likes of which I swore I’d never be. It would hurt, and I would probably be loathe to trust again.

This doesn’t feel Loyalist, at least.

• What if you realized that absolutely everything you thought was true was wrong? The authorities you’d trusted, the beliefs you’d held, the wrongs you’d fought against?

Another that trips me up. I doubt someone is ever going to convince me that punching down, bullying, or causing unwarranted harm is good. I don’t trust any authority without cause anyway, and I trust no authority to be right on every topic. I trust NASA about space but I’d be more interested in what the forestry service has to say about ecology, in a silly example. I’m not religious so I don’t have any authorities there. My parents were authorities once but it turns out they’re human and sometimes wrong, so…. I feel like I don’t know how to answer this question, because I can’t fathom what someone could tell or convince me of that would be that kind of a gut punch?

So, you don’t really have a system per se, but you do have a set of core ideals. You could call this a Bird model (and… a really healthy one if it is?) or you could call it partially unburned Lion.

• You can’t help everyone in the world who needs it, but you wish you could.

Nah, it would be nice to help everyone and I’m down to eat the rich and redistribute wealth and I firmly believe the point and purpose of society is to care for its populace, so definitely the world should be designed better to make sure everyone has a fair chance at what they want…but it’s not my responsibility to fix it for everybody, nor am I capable of it. I can do a small part, and I try to, but I’m not the savior of humanity.

I think we’ve established you’re not a Badger, although Badgers don’t always fall into this trap.

• You’ve changed your mind about an old belief or moral stricture that you used to value. You got new information and you’ve tried to update your way of thinking, and you think (hope?) you’re a better person for it. Do you feel guilty about the old belief you’ve abandoned?

Do I feel guilty for abandoning it? Not if I realized it was wrong! Do I feel guilty for having had the belief? Sometimes. I was raised in an unthinkingly classist household, and I still feel bad about my instinctive assumptions about people. I’ve worked on it a lot and unpacked a lot of shit, but I was definitely an ass and I regret that.

You have a lot of healthy Bird happening. I’m starting to wonder if your Lion is the model.

If you are a Bird primary, you’re one who builds your system much more than one who adopts it. You also seem very confident in your own perceptions, not unwilling to change but not impressionable.

When it comes to less major parts of your ideals, such as the gun control thing you adjusted your stance on, do you feel satisfied after puzzling things like that out? Or do you kind of hate that you need to?

• The next one is “If I’ve decided to stand by the people I love, it’s a choice. I could make a different decision.” Vs “At the end of the day, some things are right and some things are wrong. You don’t turn your back on the people you love.”

And my problem with that is… both. It is a choice, I could, theoretically, make a different one. But I don’t think it would be right to do so. I think that I would have to have an overwhelming reason to turn my back on my people. Someone cheating one me, or coming to hold beliefs antithetical to me (like if one of my SOs suddenly went TERFy or something), yeah, I would probably turn away, but it would hurt. But it’s still a choice I’ve made, either way.

I don’t think you’re a Snake.

• When you sit down and consider the terrifying lack of objective truth in our reality, how do you feel?

But what is truth? Does this mean truths about the universe, reality, physics, etc? I surely believe there is objective truth and structure there, though I doubt if humanity can discover it all. We are clever little apes, but its a big, weird universe.

Does it mean moral, philosophical truths? Moral relativism all the way babe! I mean, I’m an atheist, and I dont believe there’s one objective truth out there laid down by something supernatural, and I think it has to be something everybody comes to on their own as an accumulation of life experiences. I’ve got a few core things I think are important and the rest just… flows. I went with “the model in our heads is good enough,” because we’ve all got to settle for that in the end, I suppose.

It’s an interesting question and none of the answers quite fit for me. I think part of my trouble with the quiz is how abstract the questions are. “Do you like shortcuts?” Well, I dont know, quiz, what on earth is the CONTEXT? I understand why it’s written that way, but I do wish it was a bit more choose-your-own-adventure, handing me scenarios instead of philosophical abstraction.

You could be a Bird primary.

• When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?

Research, and talking to my people, and then I think about it a bit. Or I just go with my gut and try to figure it out later. Either way I will spend a lot of time thinking about it, either trying to choose or trying to parse the choice I made.

Yeah, you might have to puzzle out which of these is the model yourself. This is a pretty subtle distinction. @wisteria-lodge and I both have posts about this. The appropriate tags on my blog are #ravenclaw primary and #gryffindor primary –if you can get Tumblr to function as intended (mobile search is very very flaky), those should get you the info you want, along with lots of accounts from other people Sorting themselves.

I’m starting to lean towards Bird for you, actually. But again, this is one pair that can be hard to tell apart, and sometimes it gets harder the closer you look at it. Maddening.

• Would you feel worse abandoning a stranger in need or turning your back on your closest friend?

Another one where I want context. If we’re talking identical scenarios – say, they’re drowning – I’d save my friend over someone else, except for maybe a small child… maybe? Honestly I’d probably try to save both and end up dying. But I do prioritize and I’d help my friend over a stranger, sans specific extenuating circumstances on the part of said stranger.

Once again, I don’t think you’re a Snake. I think you’re a Lion with loyalty baked into your intuition, or a Bird who’s picked up some Snakey philosophy.

• After spending some time trying to decide between two options, you are convinced that A is the right thing to do. The people around you, though, are just as convinced that it’s B. How do you feel?

Like I haven’t explained well enough, because they’re not getting why my opinion is the best one. Seriously though, it would make me wonder if I missed something, and I’d probably spend more time talking and researching to compensate. On the other hand… context… am I choosing colleges here (yes, folks, give me your input!) or whether or not to get an abortion (where I would value the input of those directly connected to me, but in the end it’s 100% my choice and those who disagree can eff off.)

When you’re choosing a college, you’re making a tactical decision, not a moral one. Gathering information from others is a Bird secondary thing: you’re doing research.

When you’re making a moral decision, that’s where your primary is involved, and here your answer is strongly Lion.

[I’m skipping a few of the next questions because they don’t give strong information for you specifically. Mostly what they get at is, you’re not a Badger, especially not an unhealthy Badger.]

• Does your internal moral compass know something you don’t?

Well… maybe? I feed a lot of stuff into my brain, and I don’t always know what I think until the words have fallen out of my mouth.

I gotta say, I’m a Bird primary and this sounds terrifying to me. Sometimes I need to write about something before my opinion fully forms, but I write and think so much because I don’t trust myself to talk about it until I’ve poked the issue a bunch on my own.

The only exception is that there are a few people who will take me at my word if I say I haven’t made up my mind about an issue yet, and will listen to me debate it with myself, without judging me for not immediately agreeing with the stance they’ve already taken.

Not everyone is the same, of course, but this answer is a very Lion one.

• If you get a chance to make the world a better place, you have to pursue it– even at the expense of your happiness and personal relationships. Do you think this is a true statement?

If I could throw myself into a volcano to fix everything that is wrong with the world, I would cry and hug everybody I love and regret the hell out of what I was about to do to them and then chuck myself in the damn volcano. I think not doing so would be more selfish.

That is... a totally different thing than this question asked! 😂

However, you've established in previous questions (some of which were cut for length) that you don't feel responsible for fixing/changing the world as a moral imperative, so your answer to this is actually more interesting, lol.

I don't know what it actually says about your Sorting, but I'm leaving it in because it made me laugh.

• Do you think you’re a good person?

Another easy one. Define good! I try to be, within my own belief systems. But I know a lot of people who would not think I’m a good person, because in their belief systems I’m not. I think some of those people are good people, I think some are bad people. Life is complex. I do my best.

This is a pretty Birdy answer. You keep going back and forth! :p I'm probably going to end up leaving you with an ambiguous answer, huh?

If you're a burned Lion, you sound awfully chill about it and you use your ridiculously strong Bird model in an unusually healthy way, for a Lion. Lots of Lions with Bird models really struggle to reconcile the different priorities.

If you're a Bird, you have a ridiculously strong Lion model that seems to actually override your Bird sometimes--but Bird systems are complex and can include weird recursive rules like "in this situation, this other Primary is more right so we use that." Also, your understanding of your system seems more hands-off than a lot of Birds.

• It’s important to do the right thing, even when it feels wrong.

…yeeeeeees…. but. Why does it feel wrong? I would want to investigate that before doing the thing, because if it feels wrong, maybe I’m missing something that my subconscious caught. If I investigate that and am sure about the right, I think… I don’t know. I’m not sure I could do something I felt super icky about even if it was quote-unquote right?

Oh hey, that's my approach to Lion primary too. One point for Bird + loud Lion model?

By now I bet you either have a strong feeling about which of the options I've narrowed down is you, or you'll think about it and go back and pore over the archives here and on the other Sorting blogs. And then you'll think about which approach you took and what kind of a hint that is, which is basically meta-meta-analysis. Except now I've written this and you've read it, so you'll be wondering how reading this will affect your judgment, so it's meta-meta-meta-analysis now.

...I'll stop. 😉

Secondaries

Future Paint here. Tumblr discarded the ENTIRE second half of my response to this post, because I saved it and then hit post without refreshing the page, so it posted the old version, because of course it did.

The tl;dr is that I believe anon to be a rapid-fire Bird secondary with a Lion model.

Brb while I reconstruct this post.

• Do you like going into situations with a plan?

• When you spot a metaphorical obstacle in your path, what do you do?

I would love to, and some situations I do– job interviews, for example – but sticking to a plan is not my strong suit. I can follow a schedule, to some degree, and I can kind of make plans… but then I trip up because how can I account for all contingencies? So I usually end up chucking the plan and YOLOing my way through something on a wave of accumulated knowledge and practice experience.

Not all Birds are big planners. The defining thing is preparation, and that can mean hoarding skills, knowledge, tools and contacts, not just making plans and decisions in advance. A Bird might, for example, decide not to schedule their vacation, and instead read a couple travel guides before they go but wing it when they're there.

This question is one of those where I’d love a less abstract scenario. Because… it depends. In a video game I’ll usually go around. In real life I’ll stop and panic for a minute or a day, then get up and deal with whatever needs dealing with. Unless its a super immediate issue, and then I’m in the middle of it already and have to put off my existential crisis until later (see prior example of “breaking up a dogfight by sticking my arm betwixt them,” see also “i spent much of my teens rolling out of bed at 3am and getting dressed to go help with a foal delivery and I didn’t really start thinking until like twenty minutes after we arrive and start dealing with shit.” Like, I was making decisions and thinking about things, but… its different. They’re not reasoned choices, they’re “this has to be dealt with NOW so do what you can and sort it out later.”)

• Do you like to gather all possible information before making a decision?

I guess I land on needing to understand your problems. You can’t put them off forever, but if you’ve got the time to do some research and contemplation aforehand, that seems like the better choice.

I need you all to know that I didn't cut this dogfight story--I'm not depriving you of whatever wild ride anon had, it's just as much of a Noodle Incident to me as it is to you. However. I don't think I need to argue *too* much that anon has a Lion model.

• Is knowing things or knowing people more useful when solving problems?

Another tricky one, because I think all the answers are correct. I do like to know what’s going on, but at a certain point that IS just stalling. But! It’s true that making decisions without understanding the full picture CAN really mess you up! But it’s ALSO true that, in many situations, I can change my mind if I learn more. I think I lean towards doing All the Research before making a choice, but I’m pretty sure that’s largely a procrastination tactic.

Birrrrd.

Both. Ideally, one would know a range of People who know/have many Things. I’m a big fan of bartering my own skills and knowledge in return for those of other people – for example I am the go-to research person, because I’m pretty good at sourcing info and condensing it into “here’s what you ought to know, here are your options, and here’s where you can go for more information,” a thing which I do freely for my family. In return they do things I can’t or don’t want to, like my taxes or getting things off high shelves or making travel plans or whatnot.

• When your plan fails, what do you do?

I’m better at accumulating knowledge than connections, but I think the right connections are more often useful than said knowledge.

As @wisteria-lodge has said before, some Birds accumulate contacts the same way they gather other tools. They like the be the person to say, "I know a guy."

You're VERY clearly not a Badger. I've cut all the questions that were like "do you do [Badger Thing]" and you were like "NO" so. I don't think you'll need convincing on this point lol

See above… panic then act, unless I don’t have time, in which case act and then panic. Solve the immediate problems, clear some space to breathe, then deal with the rest.

• Do you collect things? Facts, objects, hobbies?

……. do links full of interesting things I fully intend to get around to reading and understanding someday count?

…yeah, this is where I take a look around at my books, games, Interesting Facts, various half-compentent hobby activities, and enduring rage that I cannot possibly know All The Things because I am a mortal subject to the finite bounds of my life and acknowledge that yes. I hoard the SHIT out of both physical and intellectual stuff.

• Do you ever study or plan excessively for things that aren’t useful? Just for fun?

I’m torn between yes, and yes but they have a purpose. I do enjoy learning, i was always good in school, when I could be bothered to care. There are a few topics I enjoy for their own sake – language and history and anything world-building, really, anything to do with who we are and how we got there. But I won’t usually go in depth; most things I skim enough to understand the basic concept and move on, leaving those things as cocktail facts. “Oh, you’re an astronomer focusing on the moons of Jupiter? I read $JupiterFact a while back, what are your thoughts?”

• Do you act differently in different groups? Does it bother you, if you do?

Like, I dont care about the moons of Jupiter unless Titan or Europa or whichever turns out to have life, but space is neat and I’d be excited by that conversation and I’m intrigued by the concepts even if i don’t have the inclination to deep-dive the topic.

These 3 question/answer pairs explain pretty clearly why I think anon is a Bird secondary...

Not very often, and not much. I absolutely utilize code-switching, but I’ve felt bad about not opening my mouth at times when I worked at a place that assumed I was a good little Christian white girl… I’m usually too afraid of repercussions to say anything, but I remember my supervisor saying an atheist billboard was “too much” and I just said “no, of course it isnt” and we gave each other a look like “… well this isn’t good…”

• When solving problems, is your first reaction seeing what “tools” you have in your pockets?

In general though, I’ll use a mask when I need to but I’m just kinda… me.

...and this was what cleared up the Lion secondary model for me.

• When you are deciding how to react to a situation, are your choices most affected by internal (how you feel, what you think, what you want) or external inputs (what’s happening around you)?

…I’m really not sure. I don’t think i actively assess the tools, physical or mental, that I have to hand? I generally know if I DON’T have the resources to deal with something, but if i do have them, I just do the thing and don’t think about it.

That's normal. You just know your toolset well enough that you don't have to think about it. Some Birds don't, or their toolset is eclectic enough (or even granular enough; try remembering all the books you've read that are relevant to a given research paper topic) that they forget what they have.

I think if I knew what I felt, I’d be happy deciding based on internal things, but I don’t know that I trust myself enough.

This answer seems more relevant to your primary. Might be Burned Lion primary peeking through.

And that puts me at a hatstall again.

Sorry for the bombardment, but it seemed like this would be relevant. I know I prefer more info to less, when I’m trying to help someone figure things out, so… words. Many, many words. Thrown at you. Mea culpa.

Hope you don't mind my cherrypicking! This must have been a ton of work for you to write, and I threw a bunch of it away 😭

(Only sort of, I did read it all first.)

In conclusion

Primary: either burned Lion + healthy Bird model, or Bird + loud loud Lion model.

Secondary: rapid-fire Bird with Lion model.

Hope that helps!

#sortinghatchats #paint speaks #submission #gryffindor primary #ravenclaw primary #gryffindor primary model #ravenclaw primary model #burned gryffindor primary #ravenclaw secondary #gryffindor secondary model

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mysticalmusicwhispers · 3 years

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indus's google searches: "good apology gifts for neighbour" "how to keep your children away from bad influences" "preventing your child from being a delinquent" "how to prevent delinquents from coming into your home"

i think it's probably an accumulation of similar incidents that finally get yao banned from the house lol the third time they end up in trouble yao is kicked out and BANNED from coming back. ever. no matter how mournful aditya looks. no. so he just has to hang out with yao at the park i guess, or at yao's own house. yao's neighbours are greatly saddened by this development but aditya's neighbours heave a sigh of relief

but also imagine indus and nyo china meeting... indus being like "you have done a TERRIBLE job of raising this child he has engaged in so much property destruction!! do you know how much time and resources i need to repair relations with my neighbours now??" and nyo china being like "nah he's a good child look at his acads also ill give you money dw"

also YES she'd bring all sort of cool stuff and stores from around the world for yao and yao probably finds that so much fun... also lmao she probably thinks 1 healthy meal a day is sufficient (no) thank goodness yao is Independent™

parent teacher meetings are going to be so terrifying omg like other parents will try and passive-aggressively talk about the stuff yao has done and she'll be like "eh whatever idc your kid is just not powerful enough" and when the teacher brings up yao's behaviour issues she's just going to be like "he's getting 100s for math even though he hates it i think he's a great child he'll be fine" lmaoooo

ASDLKFDS YEAH poor Indus though.. her searches are such a mood... I feel like she would be pretty successful at getting back in her neighbors’ good books though, especially after booting Yao out lol

That sounds good! (when Aditya tells Yao, he doesn't look at all disappointed and says point blank "just sneak me in, nobody will know". Indus chucks him out by the ear when she finds out and prevents Aditya ever going to visit Yao's house again. Aditya becomes much more studious after this. "I need to go to the library today to do research for history/social studies! I need to stay after school for extra help! I'm going to the string recital today because [insert friend here] is playing!" There is no history project, no extra help session, and no string recital. He is actually just going to Yao's house.) "Yao's neighbors are greatly saddened by this development" THEY SURE WILL BE lmao half the time nyo china is not home and the other half she just gives them free reign to do whatever and just patches their destruction up with money. I think she would like India; he's a little more sunshiney and talkative but just as menacing as Yao sometimes so she can handle it lol.

Also omg the antagonism. At their first meeting Indus goes "oh that's who's been raising Yao this whole time? Imma go chew her out right now brb" also sksksksk THE MONEY... nyo China is truly a pragmatist. Money solves all problems lol

And yeah cool tourist merchandise haha. I think their whole dynamic is just "we kind of got pushed together randomly but it's ok". Yao likes nyo china because she is a moneybag, gives him cool stuff, and lets him do pretty much whatever he wants (fine by him). Nyo China is fine with handling Yao because she doesn't need to do anything for him lol. Mutually beneficial relationship (for those two only. Everyone else suffers.)

Also parent-teacher meetings... the palpable tension in the room lol. I love that everyone is giving the most blatant hints to nyo China that her child is a borderline delinquent and she's like "well if my child is a delinquent your children should get on his level." F in the chat. Nyo China takes one look at Yao's report card, sees the 100s (or A+s) in like every class, and is content. She does not read nor care about the teacher's comments at the bottom that say "mischief child, undisciplined, has been to detention 12 times already, uncooperative and does not like to follow directions. Has few friends or acquaintances, and often gets into disagreements with peers that usually result in physical altercations. Please talk to Wang Yao about his actions at school and discuss how he can improve his behavior." Nyo China just logics it out with "see, these numbers are objective. The teacher's comments are not, and I only deal with facts. Therefore you're totally ok in my book as long as you keep doing well in class." RIP Wang Yao's teacher lol

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apollo-writes-random-shit · 4 years

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Id love to see “Run Boy Run” with Race and Jack please!! I love your writing

Ahhh thanks! I’m really fucking sorry that this took so long! I kept losing motivation and stuff like that whoops. I hope you enjoy even though you can probably see the parts I gave up lol. Also, I don’t know why but for some reason, I decided to research about the real lodging house and included that in here because ???? Who the FUCK knows.

TWs: Mentioned abuse and one small scene (Snyder slaps Jack( and attempted drugging (Jack tries to slip Snyder a sleeping drug so he and Race could escape). Briefly mentioned homophobia.

Also, for most of the story, Jack and Race go by ‘Francis and Tony’. In this world, some people are born with powers and because I like to torture myself, I decided to go through about fifty different names to what to call people like that instead of just saying they’re magic????

Also, I threw in some ocs, so yeah.

Francis knew his very existence was hated by people in his town. Well, at least the ones who knew what he was. A small-town mindset like the one he lived in was horrible for someone...Different. For someone who was a Cosma. Someone with powers was an outcast in his town. A monster to some. One of the only people who knew was his step-father and he held his status above his head, always threatening to out him, but he could handle it.

However, he knew the new kid wouldn't be able to handle it. One look at he knew that the boy was like him. A Cosma but he hadn't shown many signs yet. Francis knew the second Snyder caught on to the fact that Tony was a shifter and communicator, the boy's life would become a hell of abuse and experiments. The things that had happened so far were easy to explain as a trick of the light. Different eyeshade? That was the light. Slightly sharper teeth? Nah, your eyes are playing tricks on you, Sir, there's no need to worry.

Francis couldn't help but wonder which of them was more powerful. His new brother with the ability to shapeshift and control horses with his voice, or himself with the power to bring drawings to life. He placed his bets on Tony. The boy was a double after all.

Francis knew they had to get out and after a month of searching, he finally found a way. Someone had agreed to help him travel to a safer place, one where he could be himself. Where others would help him and his brother no matter what

Run boy run! This world is not made for you.

The small town had him trapped. He and his brother didn't belong there, but his contact promised him freedom. Sure, there wasn't much fresh air there like there was here in Santa Fe but New York offered freedom...A place where Tony could grow up without having to hide a major part of himself.

He was scared though. He somehow needed to sneak not only himself but Tony out of the house in the middle of the night and get across town in the middle of the night so the two could cross the town borders and escape for a better life.

It would be worth it though. If it meant Tony was safe, it would all be worth it. He'd lay his life down for his little brother and he knew that his brother wouldn't like it if he found out but it was the truth. Tony meant everything to Francis and he'd give up anything for the younger boy.

But even planning to escape was hard. Francis wasn't a moron. He knew Snyder had placed trackers in all of his clothes, though, that wasn't the most obvious thing. The most obvious tracker was the dog tags each boy wore under strict orders not to take them off at any point.

Tony may find no issue in it but Francis did. He knew it wasn't for their 'safety'. No. It was for Snyder's. Snyder knew that Francis could out him at any time. Multiple bruises and scars weren't easy to explain away when at least one of them was a brand baring Snyder's name, set on the back of his shoulder.

There was no way he could hide the truth if anyone was to ever see that so it was vital he kept tabs on the boys at all times. After all, he didn't want his image of a respected man to be ruined.

But Francis' contact already had a plan for that. Spare clothes would be brought for the boys and their own would be thrown somewhere once they left town, along with the dog tags. He was also bringing a friend who could easily disable things in case Snyder had injected them with a tracker.

Run boy run! They're trying to catch you!

Tonight was the night. Francis had everything planned and all he could do was hope that it would work. It was dangerous, but any plan that had to do with running away was and if he could ruin the man's reputation at the same time, he'd gladly do so.

He knew that the second he stepped out of his 'house', Francis Sullivan and Tony Higgins would be dead and two boys without identities would be born but he was okay with that. The two could find themselves new names and Snyder would never be able to hurt them again. He'd be okay. They both would be okay. Even if Snyder moved to New York which he had mentioned a few times, he wouldn't be able to touch them. He wouldn't be able to know who they were. e

It was surprisingly easy to slip the drugs into Snyder's beer, something that he was terrified of doing. After all, he could be caught doing it but luckily, the man was already drunk and didn't seem to notice a difference. Idly, Francis tapped his fingers on his leg, knowing that the ten minutes would be the longest ten minutes of his life but he had been assured that the man would sleep for hours, giving him and his brother time to run.

Still, he couldn't help but question everything. What if he hadn't put enough in? What if someone walked in before he and Tony could escape and realized something was up? What if they got caught on the edge of town and returned to Snyder's house? What if they got locked up? His brother wouldn't survive in jail and he knew he wouldn't survive Snyder's torture if they were sent back. He wasn't sure if both of them would survive but he knew that Tony wouldn't. As much as he loved him, Francis knew the younger boy was weak and would make for easy prey for the sadistic man who took him in.

His heartbeat raced each time he saw the man shift until he was finally sure he was asleep. Swallowing, he took a few silent steps, only to have a hand roughly grasp his thin wrist. Shit. He forgot Snyder was a master at hiding things. The asshole had never even drunk the beer. He had just pretended to drink it when he wasn't looking.

"How stupid do you think I am boy? You think I haven't caught onto your little plan?" The man stared up at the frightened teen with a blank face. "I'm the reason you're still alive Francis and you're trying to throw it in my face like an ungrateful brat?"

"I.."

"I know what you're planning. You're trying to leave aren't you?"

"N-no Sir! It's just I know you haven't been sleeping well lately so I thought I c-could help!" Francis could fill the panic building up, wondering how long Snyder had known about his plan. He couldn't help but wonder if he knew all of the plan or only that he wanted to leave and take his brother with him.

Before he could open his mouth again, he found himself laying on the ground, cheek stinging. He hadn't even registered the loud crack that came with the slap. Taking a few seconds to collect himself, he looked up, staring at the man, eyes holding hatred disguised with fear. Snyder was right. If it weren't for him Francis would be dead and so would Tony, but he didn't care. The man may have kept him alive but that didn't mean he had to stay and be grateful. He always seemed five minutes away from killing Francis so there was no way he would be thankful for that.

He was drawn out of his thoughts at a thunk, watching as his so-called 'step-father' fell to the ground. His eyes drifted to the shaking boy standing above the fallen man, thick math book clutched in his small hands.

Quickly, he snatched the shaking boy up and ran, refusing to look back. He hadn't even told Tony what was happening. All the boy knew was that Francis had been thinking about something important. "W-What's going on?"

"Don't worry kid. We're gonna be safe soon." At least, that's what he hoped. They had already been caught once but they were close to the edge of their small town and he could just see a small group of people, each holding the reins to at least one horse. He couldn't but let out a sigh of relief, dodging around small holes in the road, feeling the boy's grip tighten. Tony didn't really like strangers but if Francis trusted them...He could try.

Run boy run! Running is a victory!

"Didn't realize how many people you were bringing Rags."

"Needed someone to help bring the horses 'nd stuff. Plus, they'se the best ta help out. Specs here can disable any trackers the Spider might a put in ya, Albert will help us light fires 'nd shit. Sniper 'nd Finch can keep an eye on the surrounding area. Patches and Bink will help wit' any disguises we need." The older teen gestured to each boy, each member of the ragtag crew ranging in age with Patches and Rags being the oldest though not by many years. "They'se all 'Hattan newsies like I am. Hotshot 'nd Rai are from Brooklyn though."

Tony honestly was surprised at how young Rai was. The boy didn't look a day over eight yet somehow had been brought along for the small mission.

"I didn't want ta bring him but the kid wouldn't stop botherin' me. I guess he could be useful." Despite the words, Hotshot's face held a faint fond smile, hand ruffling the boy's hair. "He's a communicator after all."

"You're all Cosmas?"

"Yeah. That's why they're helping us, Tony. They'll get us somewhere safe. Speaking of wish, we should leave right now. Dunno how long the Spider will be out. Tried drugging him but he caught me so Tony knocked his ugly fat ass out."

Rags nodded towards one of the horses with a grin. "Hope ya know how to ride cause that's how we'se headin' ta New York."

"Not really but we'll figure it out." Francis shrugged, carefully placing his brother in the saddle before pulling himself up, reaching around the boy to grab the reins. Surely it wouldn't be that hard to ride a horse. At least, it seemed calm and with Tony there, he felt that the horse would at least listen to them. That and they had everyone else to guide them.

The two blinked, feeling a small gentle tingle flow through their body. Specs smiled at the two. "It's all disabled but we'll still dump your stuff on the way. Otherwise, the change of clothes we carried here for you guys would be a waste."

Albert smirked, gently tapping his horse's sides with his heels. "Let's ride ya morons!" With that small whoop, the boy raced off, sparks flying from his red hair. Rolling his eyes, Rags chuckled, riding off after him to make sure the reckless boy wouldn't do something stupid.

Sniper looked over at the two boys they were bringing along with them. "Don't worry. She'll follow us so just focus on ya balance and try to relax. She'll be able ta tell if you're all tense 'nd shit. 'Sides, your ass will hurt if you're stiff. Especially considering ya've never ridden before." With a soft click, the boy started the journey home, causing the brothers' horse to follow them, Specs, Finch and Hotshot riding with the two, the Manhattan boys alongside them as Hotshot brought up the rear, watching as his own baby brother raced off.

At first, he never wanted to come and help 'rescue' the two because it meant losing money, but he owed Rags a favour and the older boy had decided to cash it in. Besides, Spot had been acting like an asshole lately and he could do with some time apart from him, even if they were best friends.

Shaking his head, he freed one hand from the reins, only moving it back after adjusting his bag. He couldn't help but wonder what the boys in front of him were like. Rags had given them a short briefing but seeing the angry red mark on the older one's cheek reminded him that there really were fucked up people in the world and by coming here, he was helping to do the right thing.

The fact Specs had confirmed that trackers had been placed in their bodies just worried him even more. At least they were free now. They were safe from the house that they had been trapped in.

Run boy run! Beauty lays behind the hills.

Sure New York wasn't the most glamorous of places but to Rags, it was home and now, Manhattan would house two more newsies. They'd get new names later but for now, they would be nameless. He smiled to himself, looking over his shoulder at the figures riding behind him. He could tell that they would fit in with the rest of his family.

The rest of the Manhattan kids knew that he was bringing home two more kids except for once, they weren't from New York.

Tony sighed, leaning into his brother as he closed his eyes. It felt weird running away and guilt was settling in his stomach from the memory of knocking out the man who took him in. He knew Snyder was cruel but he had never laid a hand on him...Only laying hands-on Francis who couldn't fight back. He had never actually seen it but he had heard it countless times. Had seen the way his brother stumbled into their small bedroom before collapsing on his bed, hiding his face in the pillow in an attempt to hide his tears from the boy who looked up to him so much. But Tony saw them each time. Saw the way his body had shuddered and heard the muffled noises that escaped him. He knew Francis couldn't be strong 24/7, no matter how hard he tried.

But now that they had gotten out of there, maybe Francis wouldn't have to take the hits for him. Maybe now he wouldn't have to curl up in bed, trying his best to hide his shaking. He couldn't help but smile slightly as he closed his eyes, resting a hand on the mare's wither, calmly letting himself connect with her. Sliding his hand up, he gently ran his fingers through her mane, relishing in the feeling of the silky strands running through them.

At least with her, he'd feel safe on the journey that he had never expected to take. He couldn't wait to see what would happen when they reached New York. Despite only being with them for a short time, he found the boys charming in their own way, from Albert's excitement at riding off into the distance to Hotshot's firm yet protective presence behind them. He felt safe with them and that's what mattered to him right now and by the way, his brother had slowly relaxed behind him, he knew he felt the same.

With a soft nudge from his horse, he opened his eyes, taking in the appearance of the land around the group. It was something he had never seen before. Something he never expected to see. He couldn't help but grin, looking down slightly so he could watch the land race beneath her hooves. It was beautiful honestly. Much more beautiful than where he had been trapped mere hours ago.

Run boy run! The sun will be guiding you.

Leaning back, he felt Francis' arms tighten around him for a few seconds. Without even looking, he could tell the older teen was smiling as he too took everything in, awe filling his body.

The two were brought out of their thoughts as the horses slowed down, gently lit by the setting sun. Without Rags opening his mouth, Albert jumped off his horse, quickly gathering up wood, surprisingly serious considering the way he had been so hyper and willing to lead the group before. Carefully flicking his fingers at the pile he had made, the ginger grinned as flames burst up from the middle, quickly engulfing each bit of wood. "Fire's done! Who brought the grub?"

"Al ya always hungry."

"Oh shut up Snipes, I know you'se hungry as well." He grinned, dodging as his friend through his cap at his face. "I'll burn this if ya test me!"

Hotshot rolled his eyes, silently helping Tony off of the horse, setting him down as he watched Francis dismount. Well more like stumble as he slid off, almost falling on his ass. The Brooklyn boy forced himself to hold back a laugh while Albert did no such thing. He was more than happy to laugh at the poor teen despite knowing that he'd never rode a horse, let alone for hours at a time while leaving an abusive house far behind them.

Specs just sighed, shaking his head as he grabbed his pack, having been the one trusted to carry the food for the three-day trip. "Alright alright. We can 'ave dinner now. Calm ya shit DaSilva."

The two brothers looked at each other in confusion before nervously moving towards the fire to sit down with the people who came to save them. The group might be helping them but the two still didn't know how much they could trust them. Francis had been desperate, grasping onto the first offer of salvation. The first offer to drag him out of the mental river he was drowning in, being dragged further under the surface with each hit, each insult, each threat both against him and his brother.

So when a cocky boy from Manhattan had shown up to deliver something to his neighbour and pulled him aside to tell him that he couldn't hide from him. That he knew what he was, Francis, had been terrified but the skinny boy had offered him a free trip to where he'd be welcome, a seed had been planted in his brain, but at the same time, he was full of doubt. Why would this stranger offer to take them to where he lived? How had he known what he was? He had been given two weeks to think about it and by the time Rags returned with his small group of friends, the seed had grown and he had agreed the day the group arrived.

Rags sighed as he sat down, watching as Finch scaled a tree, a bird soon swooping down to join him after the boy let out a soft whistle. "So, have you thought 'bout a name yet?"

Francis shook his head. "Not yet. It's not easy honestly to think of one."

"Eh take ya time. After all, you'll be stuck wit' it." Rai hummed, idly poking the fire with a stick, ignoring the warning look his older brother gave him. "You can keep the one you have now, shorten it, change it or just give yaself a nickname and run with it. If you don't think of one, 'Hattan might just give you one."

Tony looked up at his brother startled. "Names? Are we changing our names?" Finch just grinned from his perch. "I mean, as Rai said, you don't have to but sometimes it's easier to just change it...A lot of us are running from something and it's helpful to change our name. Finch ain't my real name 'nd Specs wasn't called Specs by his birth family. That came from us newsies cause o' his glasses."

Said boy chuckled, adjusting his glasses. "I should admit that it didn't appeal to me at first but it grew on me."

Albert grinned. "Don't bullshit us. The main reason you like it is that Romeo kept calling you it."

"And you take Albie cause that Jojo boy. You're both hopeless idiots." Rai shook his head with a grin. "Manhattan's weird like that. Rai is just short for my name and you're being all gay 'nd shit and that's why you accepted your newsie names."

Tony's eyes widened, surprised that they were speaking so openly about something that Snyder said was wrong. Well, 'said' was the wrong word. The man attempted to force his own ideal into his charges' minds, not wanting them to think for themselves. It's wrong. You'll go to hell for looking at a boy the way you should be looking at a girl Tony.

But these boys didn't seem to be 'cursed' as Snyder said gays were. They seemed...The way everyone else was, just more friendly but not in a strange way. No, they were just joking around like brothers. They were people who were comfortable in their own skin while Francis and Tony weren't. They both had confided in each other that they had each secretly looked at boys the way Snyder and others in their former home condemned people for. These boys may tease each other but it was friendly, it was in an attempt to make each other flustered. That meant they'd be even safer in the Manhattan lodging house.

After a few minutes, Specs handed around the cooked meat, warning the group that it was still hot. "You'll be safe in a few days. As for now, just relax though we need to burn your clothes soon just in case ya know?" He smiled over at the two nervous teens. "Don't worry, we brought you spare clothes. One of the boys back home made them fa ya. That's why Rags asked for ya size."

"Buttons is great...Gonna need him to fix my shirt though." Albert sighed, looking at a rip in his shirt. "Don't even know when I tore it. I swear it wasn't like this when we left!"

"It's called you're a fucking clumsy moron who fell in a river because you thought getting off your horse before walking over a fallen tree was smarter than the bridge."

Tony couldn't help but laugh, knowing he had done something similar before. Sure it got him into trouble because he made a mess when he got home but he had a good time so it didn't matter.

Run boy run! They're dying to stop you! Run boy run! This race is a prophecy! Run boy run! Break out from society!

Yelling brought the small group back into the world of the woken, Tony and Francis instantly freezing. Snyder and his friends had found them and the two knew they'd stop at nothing to get their hands on the two.

"Shit. Get back on the horses. We should have dumped your clothes earlier but I didn't want to stop for a while just in case." Rags quickly jumped back on his horse, watching as his newsies rushed around to pack up their small camp before jumping on their horses. Hotshot had already boosted Rai onto his horse before getting on his own, Albert helping Francis and Tony up onto theirs. The second the red-head was on his own horse, the ground raced off, the newsies pretending that they didn't hear Tony's soft and scared sobs mixed with Francis' soft words of comfort.

They hadn't been planning to move so fast but they had to otherwise they'd all be in trouble. "Finch! Sniper!"

"On it!" The two boys quickly pulled out their slingshots, each loading small sparklers into them, firing them off in different directions in hopes of distracting their pursuers. Despite not being given orders from his leader, Albert set off small flaming balls, sending them away from himself, making sure they were small enough to avoid setting the nearby trees on fire.

Hotshot sighed, raising his voice so the two scared kids in front of him could hear. "Don't worry. The 'Hattan boys know what they're doing, even if they don't seem like it most of the times. We'll keep you safe."

"See Tones? We'll be safe. Promise." Francis tightened his arm around his brother, wondering if his words would prove to be true or if they were would become false. He just hoped that they'd get away and find their way to New York as Rags had promised.

With a single whistle from Rai, animals seemed to flood from every corner of the forest before they rushed towards the sounds of the group chasing them down.

Each second seemed like an eternity to the two brothers, their hearts both frozen still and beating erratically at the same time. While the horses were speeding up by the second, they seemed to be forcing their way through snow with Tony and Francis feeling the chill while no one else did.

Their safety...No, their lives were on the line here and each member of the small party knew it. If one person were to get caught, it'd be over for everyone. They all knew the risks that came with this mission and had accepted the idea that they may be caught but that didn't mean they weren't scared shitless as the idea swirled inside their minds, taunting them with what their future could hold. It was clear that Cosmas' weren't welcome in the town they were fleeing from but right now, they had to shove that thought away, focusing instead of escaping.

The shouts faded behind them but that didn't slow down the group, if anything, it pushed them to go faster just in case the group had decided to fall silent in hopes of catching them off guard. Granted, Francis wasn't sure if Snyder and his pals were smart enough to do that but still, you never know.

They ate lunch on the run, Specs moving to each person to hand them small sandwiches before moving back to his own spot. Sure, the plan had been to eat warm meat with the sandwiches for a snack but plans sometimes change on the fly and newsies were masters at changing things instantly. After all, there were times they had to quickly run from where they were selling to escape the clutches of the police.

The group rode through the night, their way lit by Albert's flames, only pausing for an hour or so by a river to allow their horses a break to drink, each boy quickly shoving food into their mouths, too on edge to take their time.

Specs sighed, looking up at the stars, tracing each constellation with his eyes, remembering all the stories he had been told by an older newsie. "We'll be there in two days. We'll stop by Brooklyn ta return the horses and drop Hotshot and Rai off before headin' across the bridge."

Tony nodded, curling up next to Encore, the mare nuzzling her young rider. "Is New York really as big as they say? Fat-...Snyder always said that it's big." Despite correcting himself, the fact that he had almost called Snyder his 'Father' filled his stomach with guilt and anxiety.

Albert grinned and nodded. "There's a lot of us newsies from all over New York. We'se the Kings 'nd Queens of the damn place! Sure we ain't the richest but we'se the people who help spread the news. Without us, the damn city will shut down." He chuckled under his breath. "You'll be 'Hattan boys in a few days...We'se the second most important borough in my mind. I would say the most important but that's Brooklyn. They're the real rulers in the Newsie world. They've got the toughest folks there."

Rai snorted and nodded. "Damn right we do! We'se'll soak anyone we need ta. No one messes wit' us if they have a good mind. We'll kick their asses if needed. No one messes wit' us and it's great!"

Hotshot rolled his eyes, setting his small bowl of thin stew aside so he could gently slap his brother on the back of the head, gently chuckling at the boy's mock offended cry. "Don't go boasting 'bout it ya nerd. We're not that bad. We're just tougher than most of than the New York newsies." He looked over at the two new boys, picking up his stew again. "Simply put, don't mess wit' us and we don't mess wit' you...Though that's really any place I guess. We're just respected more than everyone else in our world."

Francis nodded, filing the information away. He knew what it was like to get on someone's bad side and the idea of a whole New York borough after him was frightening to him. The bullies he had faced were one thing but the idea of having stronger people after him was terrified. Hotshot already proved that all of Brooklyn was strong, just by his arms and Francis didn't feel like the idea of throwing hands with him or any of his friends. He was pretty sure Rai could easily break his arm despite being eight.

Blink groaned, speaking up for the first time. "We get it. Ya, all tough 'nd scary now shut up. I'se wanna sleep." He adjusted his eyepatch, not bothering to look over at the group. "You all take to much."

"Aww, ya just a spoilsport Blink. First thing ya say is to tell everyone to shut up?" Albert couldn't do anything but laugh as Blink flipped him off. "Someone's just grumpy he had to leave his boyfriend behind."

"Or maybe I'm sick o' your dumbass voice." Idly, the boy pulled his eyepatch to the side, glaring at his friend with a glazed over eye. "I can fucking destroy you Albert DaSilva. Remember that."

"I'm sooooo scared."

Patches sighed, knowing that it was time he should step in, his soft voice floating above the crackling of the fire. "Both of you stop being morons. We're heading out as soon as we can in the morning. Rags and I'll take the first watch, Blink and Specs will take next than it'll be Hotshot and Al. That's all we'll need really need because it'll be light enough by the time your shift is up and we'll be able to have a quick breakfast before going again. We'll be home very soon. Two days and we'll be done and we can relax and go back to selling and stuff. We'se'll get Tony 'nd Francis set up as soon as we can. We'll probably be back during the day." Noticing Tony's subtle glances towards Blink's eyepatch, he smiled. "Don't bother askin'. He tells a different story each time so no one knows what actually happened ta his eye."

"Oh...Okay. Sorry for staring."

Blink just grinned at him. "Don't worry 'bout it. You'se starin' without hate or disgust or whatever. Ya just interested is all. But yeah. I'm up for taking watch wit' Specs. Now, all o' you zip ya mouths so I can get some shut-eye." With that, he slipped his cap over his face after tucking his eyepatch into his pocket.

Albert chuckled softly but listened, pulling his blanket up over him after gently coaxing the fire to burn a little brighter before eventually falling asleep, his teasing turning into soft breaths that were soon joined by the breathing of others, knowing that his brothers and friends were safe under the watch of his leader and said leader's second.

It took Francis awhile to be comfortable enough to fall asleep, each small noise causing him to subtly flinch, scared that they had been tracked down yet again. It took the comforting presence of his brother who was silently breathing as he held onto his shirt mixing with the fires and the soft chatter of the two boys who were going to be watching over them for a few hours.

Despite his fear, he fell into a deep sleep, only woken by the feeling of Tony gently shaking him. The second the teen was sure the elder was awake, the blond moved to help clear up camp, silently watching slight awe as Albert easily put out the coals with a single wave of his hand, making sure they wouldn't light again.

Francis hummed, feeling his new shirt slip slightly as he stretched. Soon, he would be in a place that accepted who he was, among those who were like him and his brother.

Tomorrow is another day, and you won't have to hide away

It was a new day, one that was bringing the promise of freedom ever closer. Coming out of his thoughts at the feeling of bread being shoved into his hands, a familiar cheeky grin greeting him as he looked down, chuckling at his brother's puffy cheeks. The bread role was small yet for some reason, Tony had felt the need to shove most of it into his mouth at once. Though once he looked at Albert due to the sound of choking, he realized it was most likely a dare or a challenge designed to test the hubris of the two teens, clearly set by a smirking Rai.

He could already tell that moving into the Manhattan lodging house would just increase his brother's not so concealed chaotic tendencies. He sighed, a silent chuckle escaping him as he chewed on his own small role, awkwardly standing still when Rags assured him that he didn't need to do anything to help to pack up camp.

It didn't take them long to start up their journey again, with laughter and friendly taunts filling the air instead of the fear and silent tears that had been their unwelcome comrade the last ride.

Adjusting his cap, Finch grinned and carefully shuffled back slightly before carefully raising to his feet, having slipped off his shoes over an hour ago. Calmly, he pulled out a small stone, biting his lip as he aimed for a familiar head. He couldn't help but let out a whoop as Sniper's head whipped around, the other boy glaring at his fellow shooter. "Finch I swear ta fucking God!"

"Don't swear at me."

"Albert ya ain't God!"

Hotshot just sighed, ignoring the laughter of the other boys, speeding up so he could take matters into his own hands, knowing full well the arguing newsies probably wouldn't listen to their leaders in this situation. In his mind, the Manhattan boys tended to be more chaotic and at times disobedient than the boys who lived with him. Not that it was surprising. Other than being known for being tough, Brooklyn newsies were known to be well-disciplined despite the way a new ruler could come to power by fighting the current one and they listened to each other.

"Alright, you guys. Shut ya traps before I make you." Sure, that caused the two shooters to aim for him for a few seconds but it was easy for him to dodge considering the two were ever so slightly intimidated by him, despite knowing he wouldn't actually do anything to them.

"You're no fun." Despite his annoyed words, Finch carefully moved back to the saddle, sitting down again, not wanting to test the Brooklyn boy too much.

Rags just shook his head with a smile, looking at the sky, narrowing his eyes in an attempt to avoid the sun's rays as he judged the time. He knew by now that they most likely wouldn't be tracked down anymore considering how far away from the tiny town they had come from. His new brothers were safe and that's all that mattered right now. Soon, he'd be back with the rest of his family and he'd be bringing in two new members.

He could tell already that they'd fit in almost instantly though he knew that they'd naturally come to terms with what had happened and that they were safe...That they could grow up properly.

You'll be a man, boy! But for now, it's time to run, it's time to run!

However, they still had a while to go before they would be racing around the streets of Lower Manhattan, selling papers to random people to pay the six cents needed to pay for a bed and batch at the lodging house. His smile widened slightly as he thought of the meals that a few extra cents would get him. Pork and beans on Monday, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Roast beef on Sunday and beef stew on Tuesdays. Corned beef and cabbage came on Wednesday and fish balls were served on Fridays. If he focused hard enough, he could not only taste the meals he often paid for but also taste the tea and bread that each meal was accompanied with. The newsie could practically smell the soup that was often served with pork and beans. Just the thought of the meals made him feel full and he couldn't wait to return for dinner again.

Sure, breakfast was also served but why pay for it when you could get food off the nuns before rushing to the gates? Though he couldn't lie. There were times he spent money on some cents on some oatmeal in the morning, savouring the small burn that came as he quickly ate it. Some of the boys may tease him for buying both food and getting free coffee from the nuns but he didn't care.

Patches grinned, looking over at his brother who rode with closed eyes, able to picture what the other was thinking about. He too loved meal times at the lodging house, even if everything just repeated with not much change. It was nice to know what to expected and if he wanted a change, he could always save up a little extra and buy something at Jacobi’s or even just ask if he could take some leftovers with him.

He knew everyone, not just the newsies that stayed in the large building looked forward to the nightly meals, shared in a large room, surrounded by friends as they joked about what sort of customers they had dealt with that day, lowering their voices whenever they felt the need to swear, knowing full well it was against the rules.

He sighed softly, looking ahead, wishing he could see the familiar outline of New York on the horizon, yet he saw nothing but the landscape he had seen on the way to pick up the two boys.

Focusing on his companions, he swallowed back a laugh as he heard Rai explaining newsie rules to Francis and Tony while Hotshot corrected him when needed. After all, the life of a newsie was far more complex than the life they had just left behind. The life was full of tricky politics between boroughs where one wrong move could incite a war which would just bring every newsie across the whole damn city involved which was never a clean thing. No war was clean really but newsies were a group of kids who handled their wars with fists while the leaders scrambled to arrange a deal. Though, from the short time he's spent with these two kids, he could tell that they would be respectful, at least of the borders. Not that they would be going anywhere near them for a while. No new kid was ever allowed to sell near the borders for a few weeks just to make sure they learnt the ropes.

Run boy run! This ride is a journey to. Run boy run! The secret inside of you

Francis internally sighed, glad to see his little brother smiling and laughing along with those who had been strangers not too long ago. It was nice to see that the boy wasn't scared of them. He didn't know what he'd do if the boy would be scared of those who they were now living with. No longer would the two have to walk on eggshells to avoid letting anyone know who they really were...What they were. No longer did they have to deal with Snyder, who seemed to always be a hair's breadth away from snapping at them, whether it be just yelling at Tony or hitting Francis across the face, shouting insults down the fallen boy who knew better than to yell back.

Sure, he himself was still a bit hesitant about being with the group but knew that it would be easier to disappear in New York than disappearing from a small town with no aid from an outside force. The smile and laughter coming from his thin brother made his worry worth it though.

He could still faintly hear his mother's final words as she lay on her death bed, finally admitting the abuse she had watched. "You'll escape one day Francis. I know you will. You'll find a way out of this hell hole. I'm sorry I didn't protect you and Tony. I'm so sorry baby."

Forcing himself out of his thoughts, he kissed his brother's head. His mother had been right. He was getting both him and Tony out of an abusive household. He felt like he could finally breathe properly for the first time since his mother had married the cursed man.

Slowly, he allowed his thoughts to be drowned out by the gentle shuffling of the leaves that the wind danced through as they raced through the trees, closer to their new destiny.

Run boy run! This race is a prophecy! Run boy run! And disappear in the trees!

Night settled around them once more, the moon and stars smiling down gently on the group of laughing boys who surrounded a crackling fire. Seeing that the two brothers were still nervous, the group took turns telling stories, ranging from safer ones to ones that had Rags and Patches lecturing their younger brothers on safety, having never heard such things come from the young teens' mouths.

Eventually, the stories died down, though the silence didn't last long, replaced with giggling and annoyed swears as Rai and Sniper attempted to roast marshmallows over Albert's flaming hair, not caring when the melted treat dripped into the red locks of the struggling boy clamped tightly in Blink's arms.

Soon after, the three were stopped, Albert wrestling the two boys as soon as he was free, laughter filling the air yet again even when the three were pulled apart.

Tony smiled as he stared up at the stars, opening his mouth to break the silence that eventually fell over the group, happy to tell them stories of the sky and stars, ones that he had learnt years ago, back when he was still oblivious to the cruelty that his older brother faced daily.

Eventually, the group settled down, knowing that they'd be back home by tomorrow night, able to relax in a proper bed, surrounded by their family once again instead of resting on the hard ground.

Tomorrow is another day, and you won't have to hide away.

The small crew grinned as they once again got settled on their horses, excitement buzzing through their veins, knowing that in a few hours that they would be home. It was as the air could sense it as well, sending a gentle breath to soothe their excitement, helping the group speed through the landscape, the horses gladly pushing themselves even more, already able to taste the treats they would rightfully get for the hard and long journey they had untaken.

Francis and Tony could both feel a small part that would miss riding through the open land, feeling the ache that came with a living creature speeding under them, carrying them where they wished, letting them feel the wind in their faces as they rode closer and closer to safety and a new life.

The newsies happily spoke of what they planned to do when they got home once again, excited to not only see their family and partners again but to invite and accept the two brothers into Manhattan. Albert grinned, already thinking up plans to annoy the Delancey brothers and their uncle at the gates, wondering if how easy it would be to draw Tony into his schemes, already knowing that the other had the sense for mischief that he had in his own soul. Sure, it might get Francis annoyed but he didn't care. He had a new brother and had to bring him into the life of chaos, so it could wrap him in its embrace, filling his mind with plans to commit with the redhead.

You'll be a man, boy! But for now, it's time to run, it's time to run!

Hotshot was relieved to almost be back in Brooklyn where he could just relax with his friends. Maybe take a dip in the river. Hell, he might throw Rai or Spot off the pier for shits and giggles, not caring about their reactions. They both could swim after all and it was normal for the boys to throw each other around sometimes and well, he deserved to have a little fun with his family after such a harsh journey. Sure, he hadn't been too happy to join the 'mission' in the first place but he had found himself enjoying himself. Sure, he lost money doing this but it was nice to escape the chaotic life that happened when you lived in New York while being poor.

No matter how hard and chaotic his life was, he found himself enjoying it. After all, it was better than working in a factory or at the pier, hauling stuff around or sailing on a boat, unsure if he'd ever return.

Yes, he hadn't been happy to come on this trip, nor was he happy for his baby brother to join him but to hear Rai laughing along with Tony as animals joined the ride for a short time before they pulled away, it was worth it. If he could get the young boy out of Brooklyn for a few days so he could get some fresh air and a change of pace, well...He'd do it a million times over. He wished he could take all the littles out for journies like this but alas, he couldn't. He had no reason to leave New York, let alone had the money to do so. Still, being able to take one of them out was an amazing feeling, one he wouldn't forget. Rai had lost too much at a young age yet always kept a grin. He deserved to be able to spend time, free in the land with wild animals rushing by him.

It's what the small child deserved.

Tomorrow is another day, and when the night fades away

Breaking for lunch just made all of them antsy, wanting to hurry up and get back home. Even Specs, a normally calm boy was bouncing on his toes, not bothering to hide his excitement at the idea of seeing everyone he cared about. He quickly scoffed down his sandwich, not caring about taking his time. He was going to be home soon and could take his time savouring all the tastes that came with a homecooked meal while surrounded by those he missed.

While the break only lasted thirty minutes, it felt like a lifetime to the small group. Their hearts started to beat faster with each step their tired horses took towards home.

Time travelled slowly, the stars starting to peak out again when New York's outline started to rise in the distance, an excited whoop escaping Albert as he urged his horse to go even faster, unwilling to wait any longer. He wanted...No needed to be back in that city. He loved fresh air but still, he craved the smog of New York. Couldn't wait for it to fill his lungs as he walked around feeling like a king despite people viewing him as nothing more than a street rat.

With the city in the distance, it was as if someone had pressed fast forward, landing the group at Sheepshead racetrack before they knew it. Hotshot couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of a short boy waiting near the empty stables. "Why am I not surprised you showed up Spot?"

"Wanted ta see the new 'Hattan boys fa myself." In all honestly, Spot had just wanted to see his brothers' safe returns was he wasn't going to say that in public. Besides, he couldn't help but be somewhat curious about the two new boys who would be joining the team just across the bridge. To him, it was easy to get a glimpse of what the boys had lived through. He hadn't been told much about them but judging by the bruise on the older boy's cheek, it was clear that they hadn't come from a nice place. Not that many of the newsies had come from a good place that is.

Considering Hotshot had said they were going to a small town, he could tell that it was a small town that hated people being born with powers, whether that hatred was born from jealously and fear or just out of pure stupidity, the Brooklyn native didn't know and he wasn't sure if he even cared to know.

Right now, he did his best to ignore where they had come from, instead, turning to Rai to talk about his trip, already knowing that the rules and boundaries had been explained. Even if they hadn't, the two looked smart, especially the blond who had decided to ignore everyone so he could focus on thanking his horse. God, were all Manhattan boys dorks? Shaking his head with a sigh, he clapped his hands. "Right. Curfew's comin' up in a bit so you'se best start gettin' back over the bridge."

"Giving orders now are we Conlon?"

"Blue's handlin' stuff in Queens so it's my job ta kick your bum asses out of Brooklyn. Now fuck off."

Rags rolled his eyes but still spat in his hand and held it out to the younger boy, nodding as he returned the gesture. "We'se'll get outta ya hair Conlon. Gotta get these two set up and Al looks ready to die."

"Oh fuck off I do not!" Despite his words, Albert was rocking ever so slightly, having not slept much the night before due to excitement. "Let's just clear out already. I don't wanna miss out on the food!"

Shaking his head, Rags laughed watching as Blink started shoving Albert around. "Yeah yeah. Tell Blue I said hi." He smiled at the two Brooklyn boys who had come along with his small crew. "Thanks you two. We'll be off now." With a single wave, the lanky teen ushered the others out of the racetrack grounds, chuckling internally at the way the two new brothers stuck together, looking around in both awe and suspicious hesitation.

Idly, his eyes scanned the crowd, easily able to notice who was a normal person and who was a newsie who were lurking around after selling, watching them silently to make sure they didn't break any rules, wanting the small group out of their turf, yet also silently relieved that they had returned safely as that meant their own had been returned as well.

Feet gently joined the countless others walking on the bridge, their voices mingling with those of people hurrying to and from Brooklyn. Before they knew it, they were back on their own side. Sensing their neves, Specs smiled over at his new brothers. "Don't worry. You'll get used to this all before you know it. I will warn you though...The lodging house can be loud and a bit overwhelming at times. You'll fit right in though. I already know it."

Francis just nodded before turning back to Patches, mumbling something under his breath, relaxing as the other smiled and nodded, allowing the group to lead him and his younger brother around.

You'll be a man, boy!

It didn't take long for them to find themselves walking down Duane Street, watching a few kids eagerly look up, some running towards them as others rushed off towards a building, no doubt to let them know of the groups return. Subconsciously, Francis took a closer to Tony, watching as Specs, Blink and Albert were almost tackled, each by a different boy, all dressed in the same ratty attire as the group.

Shaking his head, Rags nodded for the two brothers to follow him, leaving the six boys to reunite with their boyfriends. "They'll come along eventually so don't worry about the nerds. Let's just get you set up for now. Everyone's been dyin' ta meet you two, not just us newsies."

Grinning, he threw open the door to the lodging house, chuckling as he was greeted by cheers from a wide variety of kids. Silencing them with a single hand in the air, he grinned at the two new boys, remembering the few words Francis had muttered to him.

"Everyone! I'd like ta introduce you to Jack Kelly 'nd his little brother, Racetrack Higgins!"

But for now, it's time to run, it's time to run!

#Newsies #Jack Kelly #Racetrack Higgins #Albert Dasilva #Finch (newsies)#Specs (newsies)#Kid Blink #Blink (newsies)#Anonymous

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dalekofchaos · 4 years

Text

The Fireflies’ vaccine wouldn’t have worked or why Joel did the right thing

In the last part of The Last of Us, Joel kills all the fireflies and saves Ellie but by doing so he may have doomed humanity by ending the possibility of a cure being made, making the ending bittersweet and morally ambiguous. The thing is, Joel didn't really do anything wrong, and saving Ellie was the right choice, here are my reasons:

The doctors would remove Ellie's brain to try to create a vaccine, but that's not how vaccines works, a vaccine is a tamed version of a pathogen that "teaches" your body to defend against it, to do a vaccine you need to use the pathogen in small quantities or a modified version of it, Ellie is immune to it, you don't create vaccines from the immune system, that's called a serum, and it works differently, a serum is used when someone comes in contact with a disease and it contains a series of antibodies that fight the infection, but it doesn't make anyone immune. So what they were trying to do was pointless;

Even if the doctors know what they were doing, it was a wild shot a with no guarantee that it would work;

Even if a vaccine was successfully made they wouldn't save the world, the world was destroyed 20 years ago, society collapsed and was rebuilt again on a new way, and everyone already new how to deal with it, also the greatest threat were not even the cordyceps fungus anymore, it was the infected (that the vaccine couldn't do nothing about) and the crooked humans that walked the earth. Besides that, the fireflies had no way to distribute the vaccine worldwide, not even in a national level.

If you listen to the tapes in the Colorado segment, it pretty much confirms that Ellie is not unique and they wouldn’t be able to make a vaccine anyway. The doctor has practically lost his mind and Ellie is just his white whale. Ellie was not the first subject and she most likely wouldn’t have been the last.

The doctor pretty much went against the common ethical code of all medical practitioners just for a CHANCE at a vaccine/cure.

And wouldn't it take a lot of time to study her? A day to do all the tests is outright impossible. Just look at the corona vaccine. With all the tech the world has the biotechnologists are going to take more than a year to make a vac.

Vaccines for Fungal infections are nearly impossible and are a logistical nightmare.Even in today’s world,they can only be treated with antibiotics and anti-fungal medicine. They didn’t even bother with thoroughly researching Ellie’s blood and trying to extract the fungal specimen without killing her. The tests were blood samples and samples from the area where she was bit and then only cutting her brain open as THE LAST POSSIBLE USE for her, then when their step 1 was "lol just kill this incredibly rare specimen" I was shocked.

BTW, PS4 version actually removed a piece of paper that's available in all the other forms of the game. What is this piece of paper? Just the one that describes how they've tried this process dozens of times before and how they've NEVER gotten any useful info.

The Fireflies are terrorists. The Fireflies are terrorists, and not even competent ones. Here we go. We first hear of the Fireflies in credits, where they are taking credit for attacking the Federal Disaster Response Agency. Not a good start.The next time we start to see hints of them is through graffiti in the quarantine zone. What does this graffiti say? Fireflies will take it all back. That sounds great! Burn it all down. ...oh. That’s, uh, a little less great. Fucking die, pig. Um… Uh, that’s uh, not a great look here guys.And that goes on and on. The graffiti does not exactly inspire. All it does is get angry.Next time we see them, it’s when they literally bomb a checkpoint and supply truck, then begin firing wildly all over the place. This is straight terrorism. They don’t care if there is collateral damage, in fact, Joel gets injured in this scene.Then we meet Marlene, the so-called Queen Firefly. Injured and on the run, the military is slowly wiping them out. This leads to a line of dialogue that is absolutely hilarious. Marlene starts to preach about “We’ve been quiet. Been planning on leaving the city, but they need a scapegoat. They’ve been trying to rile us up. We’re trying to defend ourselves”Those are big words from someone who just bombed a checkpoint.This clearly shows us that Marlene cannot be trusted as a narrator. She has an agenda and is lying to Joel and possibly herself. And that despite how effective guerrilla tactics usually are, her group is still managing to get absolutely devastated. They are failing so badly that they have to recruit smugglers just to try to get Ellie out of the city.So begins the trek showing dead Fireflies at every turn. Downtown subway station? Dead Fireflies. The Capitol building? Dead Fireflies. Pittsburgh? Oh, let’s talk about Pittsburgh.Pittsburgh is a monument to Firefly failure. Pittsburgh was originally another Quarantine zone held together by FEDRA. So what happened here? Well, times got hard, and the Fireflies instigated a civil war or insurrection. This fighting lasted for months, with Fireflies lynching soldiers that they caught alone, burning soldiers alive after dousing them in gasoline, and FEDRA retaliating by executing Fireflies. FEDRA finally gave up and retreated from Pittsburgh, putting the Fireflies in control- and then it all fell apart. The people of Pittsburgh discover that the Fireflies had planned to move right into the space FEDRA had previously occupied. And so, after this was discovered, the Fireflies were driven out just like FEDRA had been. Only much faster, and with less fight. And now Pittsburgh is nothing but anarchy. People gunned down in the streets for nothing. Rooms full of bodies, clothes and shoes. Almost looks like after images of Dachau. Bravo, Fireflies. Excellent revolution.Next up, we meet Tommy, Joel’s brother, and disenfranchised Firefly. He worked for them for years, going all the way to Colorado for them. Somewhere along the way, he lost faith in them and left their cause. He doesn’t specify exactly why, but it seems he might have lost faith in their methods.Then we come to the University. This is where we really discover how incompetent the Fireflies actually are. One of the first notes you see at University is about a guy who is angry he got yelled at for falling asleep on guard duty. Real professionals. This same note indicates that while they’re still getting some supplies, it’s not enough for what’s needed, with gasoline being particularly short. The next note comes from a recording, telling us that they’re losing more guards, with the doctor clearly concerned about how much equipment and data will be lost if they have to move. The doctor even calls the Fireflies incompetent in this note. And then we have this genius.. That’s right. Bitten by his own lab monkey. Because he just had to set it free, rather than putting it down humanely. Brilliant work sir. Brilliant. He kills himself before turning though, but not before informing us that they hadn’t accomplished anything for over five years. And even that small breakthrough was ultimately a failure. And now the entire lab is compromised, and abandoned.And then there’s a long break from Fireflies until Salt Lake. Ellie, having just gone underwater, isn’t breathing. Joel attempts to perform CPR on her when our hero Firefly shows up, and knocks Joel unconscious. Ah, violence. The first solution. Willing to forgive it, since it strongly mirrors the scene with Sarah, only the Firefly is in the soldier’s shoes this time. But still. Military was gentler.And now for the hospital. The final failure of the Fireflies. This is where so many people are convinced that Joel screws the world by preventing a vaccine. But somehow, I just don’t think so. This is one last desperate bid by the Fireflies for control. How do they intend to do this? Comprehensive bloodwork? No. Vigorous testing with laboratory animals, like, oh, maybe monkeys? No, someone let all their monkeys go. Crack open her head and hope for the best? Hell yeah! Does the fact that they’ve lost their biologist concern them? Nah, it’ll be fine! Does the fact that this is the only time they’ve seen immunity to this degree even give them pause? Pfft, crack her open! Does the fact that there has never been a successful vaccine against fungus give them pause? PASS THAT SCALPEL! No need to think this over, let’s blow our whole load on this once in a lifetime lucky strike as fast as possible. No, I’ve never heard the story about the goose who laid the golden eggs, tell it to me after I finish butchering surgery. Even if we make this vaccine, how will we deploy it? You're thinking too hard, hand me the saw!This is just bad science. Done by bad scientists. Cheered on by fools. Fools who wanted to murder Joel after he made that long trip.And for people who insist on government and democracy, it’s funny how they didn’t risk telling Ellie their “plan” and just sedated her and rushed her to the table.

Even by SOME MIRACLE they managed to make a vaccine, the world ain't gonna automatically return to what it was. It's a dog eat dog world and that is the new normal. Infected, cannibals, more psychos like David and raiders are still there and it ain't going away soon or maybe ever. On top of that, mass production and distribution of a vaccine is an absolute logistical nightmare in a post apocalyptic world- they simply don't have enough resources for that. And who's to say The Fireflies wouldn't use it to as a bargaining tool to put everyone, willing or not, under their new rule? And even given all that, they debated killing Joel after he delivered Ellie. He did the job and the payment he received was getting knocked out and being marched outside of the safe zone AT GUNPOINT WITHOUT HIS WEAPONS AND SUPPLIES! The Fireflies broke their deal and fucked Joel over. Joel had ever right to kill them and save Ellie.

So I believe what Joel did in the end was the right thing, the fireflies was an extremist group that was willing to do anything not to save the world, but to prove their point, even kill an innocent girl under a delusional precept.

#The Last Of Us #Joel Miller #Ellie Williams #The Fireflies #Marlene #Jerry Anderson

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #310

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”

Do you have a clock in your room? No. What book, movie, TV show, or video game have you been wanting to start up? I *want* to read The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but I care more about reading Wings of Fire, so I probably realistically won't for a long time. I don't read enough for that; Sutherland will surely keep pumping out books in the series so I'll never catch up, haha. As for a movie, I've been interested in seeing Jacob's Ladder for a very long time; it served as a very large influence on the Silent Hill series, and boy, anyone who brings up video games in front of me knows SH is my SHIT. I also just know I'm bound to like it with how essentially legendary it is in the psychological horror genre, which is my favorite. Onto TV show, I'm not certain. Shows don't really interest me. I would like to keep watching A:TLA w/ Sara, but "start up" implies beginning something new, so. Lastly, video games. There are a LOT of games I want to play, but yeah, I have no operational gaming console above a PS2. I'm dyinnnngggggg to play a ton of PS4 remasters (namely the original Spyro the Dragon trilogy and SoTC), but as for a fresh game I've never experienced, Ico, which is from the same producers of Shadow of the Colossus. It's an old game, and Mom's bought it off of Ebay for me twice, but neither disc worked - they froze only minutes into the game. It's hella expensive in new condition though because of its age... so who knows when I'll actually get to play it. Do you put anything else on your grilled cheese sandwiches? Just butter. Have you ever read a book in a different language? I've read some simple fairy tales as well as the play Faust in German courses. Do you want to go to the Harry Potter theme park at Universal? I have no connection with the franchise, but I mean, I'd go if you're paying, haha. If you had a secret room in your house, how would you decorate it? I'm trying to think what kind of room I'd keep a secret... Ha, actually, IF my love of tarantulas expands so largely to having dozens (which I doubt, but I acknowledge the possibility once I get my own place), a room kept on the down low to others just for them would be pretty cool. Imagine someone not knowing they're sharing a house with like, a hundred Ts, haha. As for actual decor, I'm unsure. I'd definitely keep it generally dark for them as nocturnal creatures, maybe with some Halloween decorations, like lots of fake webbing and neon green or orange lights. Man... that sounds dope. What did you get your dad for his last birthday? I couldn't buy him anything, nor did I actually make anything since I didn't know what to create. I just told him happy birthday, of course. Do any of your relatives live in another country? No. Are you claustrophobic? In some spaces, yes. Ever seen Blair Witch? Without spoilers, you know "that part" near the end? Yeah, if you've seen it, you know. That would be a fucking NIGHTMARE for me. Even watching it made me squirm. When grocery shopping, do you usually buy brand names or store brand? With most items anyway, we just get the store brand bc we cheap. Around what time do you usually eat dinner? Generally between 5:30-6:30 nowadays. Do you have any clothing that you get dry cleaned? No. Do you like foods with coconut in it? Eugh, not a coconut fan. I don't hate it as much as I used to, but I still don't like it. Have you ever researched your family history? No, but some past relative researched our family tree. Have you ever had surgery that kept you in the hospital for over a day? No. Do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? I hate carrots. Did you play with Legos as a kid? Nah, I was more into Lincoln Logs. Which bothers you more… spelling mistakes or bad grammar? It really depends on the severity and simplicity of the spelling or grammar rule. Grammatical misuse of "there/their/they're" stand out very strongly to me, though. Have you ever bought anything off of eBay? Yeah, a good number of things. Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? I have a scizophrenic half-sister that I've never met, so I couldn't tell you. How organized is your mind? How do you know it's organized/disorganized? My mind is running Windows '98 with multiple windows and even more tabs open, all of them not responding. :^) Why do you follow the religion that you do? I don't follow one. My personal religious journey was a train wreck liberating to jump off of. Do you feel superior to others because you're that religion? I don't care if you're atheist, Christian, Buddhist, Islamic, whatever - you are by no means superior to another person in any way just because you believe different things happen once you die. If you do, it's time for some introspection. Are you a blind believer, or do you frequently challenge your own beliefs? Seeing as I went from Catholic to Christian to briefly Neo-Pagan-ish to what I am now, just believing there's some higher power/knowledge and some form of sentience after death, I obviously challenge them. What's the greatest thing about science? Life itself. This universe, this planet, your state of just knowing is a product of science, and that's pretty damn beautiful. Are you emotional or very stolid? I know I'm too emotional. I'm trying to get better about it. Do your siblings look like you? To a degree, but not NEARLY as much as they look like each other. Ashley and Nicole have been mistaken multiple times in their lives and even asked if they're twins. How many states have you lived in? Just this shitty one. How many states have you traveled through/vacationed in? Traveled through, a whole lot. Up and down the east coast. I've stayed in New York, Florida, Ohio, Illinois, South Carolina briefly, and I think possibly Michigan as a baby. Which state was/is your favorite? I don't know. Not NC, haha. You have two weeks alone in any place in the world; where would you go? Alone? Um... I dunno. I'd get lonely through two weeks in absolute isolation. How old were you when you first moved out of your parents' home? I want to say I was 18 when I briefly "moved in" with Jason and our roommates. Did you ever have to move back in? Yeah; the apartment didn't last very long. None of us were ready. How old were you when you thought you were "in love" for the first time? I was in love at 16. I'd fight God literally for eternity to prove that fact. How many exterior doors are in your home? Two, or maybe three, depending on your outlook. We have like this deck in the back with a roof and mesh separating you from the outside, and then you properly go into the yard from the door beyond that. How many cars have you owned? I myself, none. How many email accounts do you have? Ummmm my very first one I misspelled, so I didn't use it long before making a new one with the correct spelling, then later I had no choice but to make a Gmail to use YouTube, and I know I've had at least one email specifically for school. I'm probably forgetting some other oldies I used for small things. What was the last movie you watched alone? The Shining. What (if any) one television program do you watch religiously every day/week? None. What (if any) is your favorite sport? Dance. Scoff at that shit and then try one dance session and tell me it's not one. What is your favorite musical? None. Have you ever seen a live opera production? No. Dressing up for an evening out: Pants or skirt? Pants. I don't show my legs. What do you currently hear right now? I'm listening to Dance With the Dead's "The Man Who Made a Monster." I LOVE the aesthetic of synthwave and rock mixed together, but the only problem I have with this song is that it's very repetitive. Still stuck in my head though, haha. What type of survey do you refuse to take? I'm not into bolding surveys, specifically. Do you like to run? bitch fuck no Do you think you could run the mile in 10 minutes? Zero chance. What was the longest movie you watched? Hm, I don't remember... It's faintly there in my head, I just can't identify it... Have you ever been to a job interview? Well yeah. Who was the last person to call you? My psychiatrist. Now that I'm doing the partial hospitalization program again, he calls once a week. When was the last time you talked to your last ex boyfriend? Uhhh I think around the start of this month? Missed him and felt like chatting for a bit. Is your dog mixed or full? I don't have a dog, buuuut... we're getting one soon! I'm quite sure she's a mutt. What was the last thing you and your mother did together? Rode to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Do you take good pictures? I like to think so. What is your display picture on myspace/facebook right now? The most recent selfie I took and liked. I'm finally comfortable using makeupless photos as a display picture. :') Not that I like my body by any means, I just don't care enough to feel like I HAVE to wear makeup to be even remotely pretty in the face. As for everywhere else... ahahaha. What is going on outside right now? It's raining. Like it has been for what feels like literally weeks - and it might actually have been. There's been one or two sunny days in a huge streak of just nothing but rain. It's so gross outside by now; we've been under a flood warning for days on end. Who was the last person you kissed? My best friend, but we were dating then. What color looks the best on you? Black. Have you ever bought the wrong size because you were too lazy to check it? Oh, absolutely. I LOATHE trying on clothes. You have to essentially drag me to go do it. I don't have a good reason other than I don't want to, lol. What was the last thing you bought over 5 dollars? I put down the deposit on my tattoo. c: Do you have any mag subscriptions? No. What is something you're not scared of but a lot of people are? Snakes are probably the highest on the list. I adore snakes, all snakes. Would you ever have a threesome? No; I'm strictly monogamous and to me would be cheating even if your partner was in on it. Are you an U.S. citizen? Yep. Do you have any step siblings? I have a stepbrother, yeah, but I don't see him as my brother, honestly. He's a very quiet and reclusive guy I've had almost no conversations with, and they've only ever been short. Do they annoy you? Nah, he's fine. How many times a day do you talk to your mom on the phone? Well, we live together... What did you wear yesterday? The same pjs I'm in now. I'm changing when I take a shower later. The tank top is a Day of the Dead-esque skull pattern, while the pants are mostly navy with skulls and candy can crossbones that say "nice until proven naughty" arching over and beneath them. They were a Christmas gift from my sis and are really soft and comfortable. Really don't care that it's now out of season, I wear them anyway. I do not match colors AT ALL, but again, I don't care. What color straightener do you have? We don't have one; neither Mom or I use one. Do you listen to music really loud or really low? Turn that shit up LOUD. I'll be nearly deaf one day, but... worth it? lol Do you live with anybody other than your siblings and your parents? No. Both my sisters have moved out. I'm still here because I'm just not emotionally or financially equipped to live on my own yet. Who was your last crush? I still like my best friend, but agree with her that right now isn't the time for anything. How many tattoos do you have? Currently only six. :( What is your favorite thing to do? Car rides with Mom while I ride passenger, controlling the music nice and loud with my iPod. It's odd, considering I'm very afraid of being on the road, but it's just such a freeing, wild feeling to blare music and just go, letting your mind wander. How many pets do you own? I only have a cat and a snake right now, but we're getting a dog hopefully very soon, preferably today actually when Mom has to go to the appropriate city for her normal check-up to keep her cancer at bay. Her name is Vanna and sounds so perfect for us. Mom can barely wait. Are you close with your parents? Yes, very, Mom especially. Where do you shop the most for your clothes? Hot Topic or Wal-Mart. I'd really like more stuff from Rebel's Market; they have such a wide range of stuff that just scream my aesthetic. I got my purse from there, and it's fantastic quality and so cool-looking. Have you ever read a whole series of books? Well, one trilogy that I remember: Shiloh. I adored those books and the movies. I got very, very deep into Warriors by Erin Hunter, but then my interest in reading waned, and I'm immensely behind. I don't think I'll pick it up again, but I've thought briefly about it. When you tell someone you love them do you mean it? Yes. Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up? I walked. Do you ever eat anything everybody else thinks is gross? Hm, perhaps. I'd have to think for a while. What did you do for your last birthday? I just ate pizza at home with my one sister that was free that day, Mom, and a family friend, as well as opened presents. What do you plan on doing for your 18th birthday? I don't recall, but I think that may have been when I was in the psych hospital. Or was that my 21st? I don't remember. Do you have to type with good grammer? Yes. I type pretty much exactly how I talk. What is your favorite quote? It's hard to pick one singular favorite. Are you allowed to cuss in front of your parents? Dad could care less, but I try to limit myself with Mom, especially with "fuck." She's not a fan, nor does she like if I just swear too much in front of her. Like she won't yell at me or anything, she just makes it clear she wants me to stop. How long was your last phone conversation? Just a couple minutes. I didn't get the Zoom link to group therapy one day and let the place know. Turns out their email was fucking up. Which one of your friends annoy you? The family friend I mentioned a few questions above has the ability to be incredibly aggravating. I love her, but she has zero issue with inserting herself into everything (and sometimes we just don't want to see her), and she voices incredibly rude opinions literally no one asks for a whoooole lot. She's got a strong tendency to try to take control over every situation. Her being our landlord now makes it harder to speak up, and besides, no one wants to hurt her feelings. Don't be mistaken though, she truly is an incredible person with a heart more caring than probably any person I know. Have you ever lost a close friend to death? No, thank fuck. I mean, I think. I do believe one of my childhood online friends committed suicide because of sexual abuse from her own fucking brother, but I guess I'll never know. She was talking to me one night horribly depressed and scared and then just vanished. Bless her, I loved her. Do you know someone who suffers from addiction? Yes. Do you have a lot of pictures in your room? Tons of posters and artwork, anyway. I currently don't have any photographs, but I got this shadowbox thing for my bday to decorate with pictures of Teddy so I can use it in my "tribute shrine" or whatever for him, and I'd also like to frame the picture of Sara's and my first hug and maybe put it on my bedside table. Do you have Facebook? Yeah, I do. Have you ever found a dog/cat on the side of the road? I myself, no, but a friend's mom did find two poor kittens thrown aside in a fucking plastic bag... Some people are abominable. Knowing how much my family loved cats, she reached out to us, and we took them in and named them Aphrodite and... I can't remember the other's name. She disappeared kinda early. Aphrodite wound up being one of my most beloved cats and was even the mother of a kitten that same family adopted. Delilah is still alive, doing wonderfully, and incredibly loved. <3 Aphrodite, meanwhile, as well as all our other cats at the time, were taken by animal control because our neighbors were tired of them wandering, even though they were too fucking cowardly to confront us first. I've said in many surveys that I am very much against outdoor cats, but I wasn't then because I was uninformed and really didn't understand. I wailed and sobbed and just pure shrieked like a banshee outside when we came home to learn they were taken. I have no clue how any are now, and that's the worst part. Do you go bowling in your town? We are in the middle of a pandemic, lol. Even beforehand though, I rarely went. Last time I did was on a date with Girt. We had fun. Do you have a drive-in theater? No sir. What brand is your favorite shoe? Converse. Is your best friend's mom like your own? They're quite similar, yes. Both are very sweet and caring for others. Do you have anxiety or depression? Try both. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Sonic. Do you own a pair of brass knuckles? Nah. Have you and your friends ever made up a word? Likely as kids. Do you have any embarrassing baby pictures of yourself? Not that I know of. What is the worst smell in the world? Anyone remember that survey I took mentioning my dog's old tumor? Yeah, that after he spent overnight in a diaper and inevitably peed himself in his old age. And he had a UTI. You probably can't even imagine how fucking vomit-inducing that smell was. Do you dye your hair a lot? No. :/ I really wish. I have so many colors I wanna try. Do you have anybody in your family who rides dirtbikes/fourwheelers? Not really? No one in my family owns one. My younger sister would totally go if you asked her and had one for her to use, though. She's done it plenty before. Have you ever rode a dirtbike/fourwheeler? Yeah, a fourwheeler, and it's really fun! Tell me how you got one of your scars? Hmmm, let's think of a unique one. Ah, my shins, left one especially. When I shave my legs, they get unbelievably itchy, even if I use lotion, and I would scratch my skin absolutely raw so often that I have permanent scars. It's partially why I barely shave my legs anymore. Have you ever had a friend who cut themselves? I know many, sadly. I don't know of any that still do, thankfully. I promise, it never helps. If you ever have the urge, I can't suggest enough running where you want to self-harm under cold water or slap the location (like your wrist) with a rubber band. The latter is especially helpful. It's a similar burning sensation and doesn't leave marks. It would help me refrain sometimes. What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? Swim in a nice, warm pool. Otherwise, become a hermit and wait for the outdoors to not be prepared to melt the flesh off my bones. x_x Do you go tanning or do you lay out? Neither, ugh. As you can guess from above, I hate the sensation of heat on me. What is your favorite skin lotion? I just really like cocoa butter. Smells really good and is perfectly moisturizing. Do you use a lot of hair products? The only hair product I use is shampoo, haha. Do you have a cousin you dislike? No. Well, one is incredibly brainwashed and misled by her psychopath of a father, but I love her nonetheless. We talk now and again because family is important to her. Have you ever heard Theory of a Deadman? Yeah, they're good. What is your comfort food? Absolutely ice cream. Who is your celebrity crush? Mark Fischbach/Markiplier is a perfect human being with the looks of a god and heart of a saint and you cannot convince me otherwise. What’s the song you most wish you had written? "Imagine" by John Lennon is a high contendant, for sure. Definitely something I'd write. Have you ever been stuck by someone very annoying on a plane/bus/etc? I think so at one point or another. Did you get lost at all on your first day of high school? Ha, for sure. Have you ever been interrupted during sex? A bitch knows how to act asleep if she hears a door so much as barely squeak, I'll tell you that much lmaooo. Have you ever been recorded doing stupid things while drunk? No. Has a significant other ever called you by the wrong name? No. Have you ever cooked anything and it turned out horrible? I've barely actually cooked anything in order TO fuck up. Have you ever made a bad first impression on someone’s parents? I can't say with certainty, but I think Jason's mom had her doubts about me at first because she commented on the ripped jeans I wore when I went to his house for the first time. She came to love me like her own though, and I love(d) her. I was actually just thinking about her and how she's doing the other day. What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Always? Perhaps sour candy, like Sour Punch Straws in specific. Ever held a newborn animal? Many kittens, yes. Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? I do, but just for the annual appeal of it. I don't actually believe it will have any effect on what I wished, it's just... normal, ig. What is the last thing you searched for online? Medical coding classes. Having trouble finding any free ones that are actually legit... Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when it's hot in your room? It's borderline impossible. Do you dunk your cookies in milk? Sometimes, and almost always with Oreos. Do medical terms make you uncomfortable? Ha, speaking of medical coding... No, not really. It's unnerving to hear "you have _____," but I understand it can be something so, so minor. Of course, it could be the exact opposite, but. I also actually find it quite interesting to learn the Latin roots of the terms. Are you afraid of failure? Beyond measure. Have you been called a bad influence? Yes, to my former friend's son. Not that that witch of a woman was a great person. I'd love to know how an infant can be negatively affected by receiving nothing but love from his "aunt," also having no concept of understanding about me being unemployed and not very "adult-ish" in general, which I'm sure is what she meant. Normally judgment hits me deep, but that shit I just rolled my eyes at.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''bottom is a rock'' by mother mother

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writingandmore · 3 years

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Hello and I hope you are doing well, is it okay (despite the fact you have a ton of asks) if I could get a matchup for BNHA, Danganronpa, and (if you still have the intrest) Hetalia?

Okay so the essentials, I am Male (trans) and Omniromantic Asexual (male/masculine leaning), 5'6ish, in between thin and chubby, brown eyes, red hair up to the cab muscles (henna dyed). My personality is hard to explain, every person has a different opinion of me but the main things I hear are intemidating, empathetic, kind, a serious & calm, and intelligent? (But nah the intelligence part is really only in spanish lol). I'm increadbly insecure in myself. Almost to the point where it becomes self deprecating and self humorous but I almost become hypocritical when it comes to other people feeling insecure/taking care of themselves, I'm also a self sacrificing freak in a way. However on the lighter topic, I believe I'm a good friend! I would offer my advice, comfort, food, help in the clothes of my own back, because of this I may be considered naive and people may see me as being flirtatious even if I believe I'm beings good friend. But all of that goes to dirt if I or anyone I was close to were to be insulted, I keep my friends incredibly dear to me. One more thing about myself, I am a emotional and a animal empath that can become very emotional when it comes to seeing riots/movements and just seeing a cute pupper. When it comes to this sensitivity I can also get overwhelmed by large crowds and by loud noises, usually what helps me is being in the dark and being held/constricted by something/someone. I just like the dark, it's comforting to me and I use it to my advantage. Now onto my likes, I have an interest in witchcraft/the supernatural and celestial, and as being someone that believes that everything exists in it's own way I have an open mind to these things as well as a few unnatural experiences. Naps...I don't get enough of em and that just makes my love stronger, I also really like cosplay and acting in general, and if drawing dark/vent art counts then count it right in! And if it helps my favorite animals in order are Wolves, Ravens, and Orcas. As to not end on a negative note I'll tell more things about myself. I'm very much into PDA if not in public then just in private at least, I want to be close to my significant other and I since I've been touched starved for a long time any touch of any kind I will accept.

I apologize if this is a lot, like I really do apologize.

BNHA: Aizawa!

- A serious and calm person like you would be a good match for Aizawa. It’s not that he doesn’t like to have fun, but he’s often focused on his work and his student’s safety, so someone who can understand would be necessary. He’d also appreciate your kindness and your intelligence.

- While he often keeps his feelings to himself, if his s/o was insecure, that would change very quickly. He’d never want you to not know how much he loves and appreciates you, along with telling you about all of the things that make you an amazing person. His reserved nature goes away when it comes to reassure people he loves.

Danganronpa: Makoto Naegi!

- Makoto is also someone who can feel very deeply for others or during important events in the world in general. He’d understand your own feelings, and it would be nice that you two can support each other during those times! He doesn’t have a lot of experience with animals, but he likes them well enough!

- He’d do his best to make sure to monitor your emotions and anxieties when you’re both out in public so that if it gets to be too much, he can get you out of there quick. He’d never be upset with you for needing to leave either-he’d just focus on comforting you.

Hetalia: Aph Iceland!

- Iceland is also very much interested in witchcraft and similar topics, so he’d be very supportive of your own interests and would enjoy talking about it with you! He’s also quite a fan of researching and studying the supernatural too, so you would have a lot to talk about!

- He may not be the most affectionate in public, but in private he’s very cuddly and clingy, especially when he’s sleepy, so you wouldn’t have to be concerned about not getting enough affection from him.

#Anonymous #bnha matchup #aizawa shouta #danganronpa matchup #makoto naegi #hetalia matchup #aph iceland

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shawnies-rihno-blog · 5 years

Text

That One London Wish

Bestfriend!Shawn.

Where Valerie doesn’t tell Shawn about her diagnosis, and he can’t help but feel heartbroken when he finds out, but like the good friend he is, he helps her get through the hard times. In the end though, he’s the only one who’s heartbroken and damaged.

WC:10k

Warnings: Blood Cancer, Blood, Angsty, Cursing.

I hope you guys enjoy reading this!

----

Valerie was diagnosed with Stage 2 blood cancer about 9 months ago. Since then, she had been getting treatment, she didn’t tell alot of people about her diagnosis, she didn’t want the extra attention, she didn’t want to be the sick person. She didn’t want special treatment from her friends just because she was cancerous.

She was getting enough attention from her family, anyways. Valerie hated being vulnerable, she hated when people sympathized for her. She also hated when people worried about her. Shawn, her best friend, told her that people worry because they care about you and that they love you. Valerie on the other hand thought that was bullshit. She always thought that she was being vulnerable by having people worry about her. She knew some people like her family and her best friend, Shawn, would never stop worrying about her. But she still tried her best to not worry people.

That’s why she didn’t tell Shawn about her diagnosis. He wasn’t in Toronto most of the time anyways, he wouldn’t find out, he also wasn’t smart enough. She thought about telling him on multiple occasions, but always stopped herself. Shawn was going to freak out and would be on her ass 24/7 about her health. Whenever Shawn would visit home, Valerie would have to be careful around him, but it wasn’t that hard. She would let Shawn talk about his crazy, amusing life. And then whenever Shawn invited her to hangout at the bar, she would just make up an excuse, which Shawn believed for the most part.

One day, he confronted Valerie about her not wanting to hangout out with him. Shawn thought she didn’t enjoy hanging out with him anymore. He was genuinely hurt. Valerie told him that he misunderstood the situation and that she wanted to focus on her last year of University, rather than party. That was the biggest lie, and she hated lying too. When she first got diagnosed, the first question she asked was if she could still drink. The doctor said it wasn’t good for her body, and could potentially hinder with her treatment. Guess cancer drugs and tequila don’t go well together.

She was super bummed out, she even thought that she was going to die anyways, might as well die drinking. But that wouldn’t have been fair to her family, and her little sister who looked up to her, so much. It wouldn’t have been fair to the doctors either, who were working their asses off to save her. They tried especially hard on her, she was young and a lawyer to be. Now they weren’t going to fuck with a future Judge’s life. She could sue them. Lol.

It was March break, Valerie decided to spend those 2 weeks with her family, even though her dorm was close by, and her family basically checked on her everyday. Sleeping at her parents' house was still different.

Valerie was also powerful, she grew up like that. Sometimes people would give her shit for being too full of herself, but she loved herself, and she wouldn’t let a person bring her down, without even knowing half of her. She had those times where she thought she wasn’t pretty enough, but she never voiced those opinions out loud. She wasn’t going to let people know about her weak points. Everyone had their bad days, that didn’t make them weak. The only thing that made them weak was saying how they feel ugly in front of people. People use that shit against you, she always thought.

She was having one of those days right now. She stood in her childhood bathroom. She made sure to lock the door, she didn’t want anyone seeing her like this. She stood in front of the big bathroom mirror, it had a half ripped Cinderella sticker at the bottom left corner. She observed herself, she saw her hair thinning. She reached for the back of her skull, she wanted to feel how thin her hair had gotten. She dragged her fingers through her hair, and in return she only got a bunch of fallen hair tangled up in her hand, they were too thin to hold onto her scalp now.

She dragged her fingers against her scalp again, only this time, she found more hair tangled up between her fingers. Valerie’s eyes started watering, “how pathetic,” she thought, but she was allowed to cry, she was allowed to feel like this. She was allowed to tear up over the fact that her luscious black hair, wasn’t so luscious anymore, it was just dry, it wasn’t shiny and thick or bouncy anymore.

She threw out the fallen hair in the trash can, and wiped away her tears. She stood in front of the mirror again, she stared at her reflection. Valerie debated whether she should lift up her hoodie and examine her body. Her hands had a mind of their own though, they lifted up the hoodie.

She noticed that the little belly she always called her “food baby” wasn’t there anymore. She was proud of that belly, it made her human, that belly showed the universe how she was healthy, how her body was healthy. Now, all she saw was imprints of her ribs. She had lost 11.3 pounds in the past 5 months. Now she was sobbing, pathetically, as she called it.

She just stood there staring at herself, she doesn’t know how long, but long enough for her mother to come worrying about her. Valerie’s mother knocked on the door, asking if she was alright. Valerie found the strength to reply, and then she let go off the hoodie, letting it cover her body again, quickly rinsing her face, and heading out.

She headed downstairs, making sure to watch her steps. She headed to the dinner table, finding her seat. Her older brother ruffled her hair, as he took a seat right beside her. Her father sitting at the head of the table, her little sister climbed into the seat that was right beside the one that was reserved for their mother. All of them ready for breakfast.

“Val, you have an appointment today at 4 with Dr. Wilson, don’t forget, okay?” Her mother said as she took a seat.

“Mom I know, I didn’t forget.”

“I’m sorry I can’t take you, work really sucks sometimes.” Her mom said apologetically.

“Mom, it’s oka-”

“It’s okay, I’ll take her. I’m gonna be free anyways,” her brother commented.

“Alex, you don’t have too, I’m still physically able to take care of myself right now. Help me when I'm not able to walk because every body part of mine has given up on me.” Valerie commented jokingly.

“Baby, don’t think like that. That won’t happen,” her father tutted.

----

She got into the car with her older brother, Alex. She was excited to spend time with her brother, her favorite person in the universe. They weren’t always close, and they had their fair share of fights, but no one understood her like her brother, not even Shawn.

“Val, don’t you fucking dare die on me. I need you there to bitch about my girlfriend,” Alex said as he took a turn and got onto the highway.

“Nah, don’t worry, your not gonna find one anyways,” she joked.

“Oh fuck you, you can’t even say that to me, the guy you’re fucking in love with has a girlfriend.”

“Okay, first of all, I am not in love with Shawn. He’s like a fucking brother to me.”

“Why the fuck are you swearing, imma tell mom,” Alex commented seriously, but jokingly. Sigh. Brothers.

“I’m gonna tell mom that you were driving over the speed limit, dumbass, what are you trying to do kill me?” she questioned jokingly.

“If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve done it a long time ago,” he replies glancing at her.

They exit the highway, driving towards the downtown area of Toronto, where most of the Cancer Research hospital’s were located. It was quiet, a comfortable silence fell over both of them. After sometime Alex spoke up.

“Val, you know I love you right? I know this shit is fucking hard for you, and I don’t even know half the shit you go through. And I’m not always around and fuck I always tell you how your privliedged and that people listen to you cuz your have cancer and shit, but fuck I can’t even imagine my life without you. You are the one fucking person who lights up my entire week. Fuck- It really had to be you? Just don’t ever fucking die on me, I love you so much, even though I don’t say it enough.” Alex said, voice getting weak by the end.

“I know, but stop acting like Shawn,” she chuckled, “You’re the bitchy one, not the sentimental one.” She laughed, even though her eyes were watery because of her older brother’s little speech.

“Can I tell you something,” Valerie continued.

“Mhm.” Alex hummed.

“Just so it doesn’t come as a shock when the doctor says I'm even more fucked up than before, I have been feeling worse,” She says lightly, not wanting to ruin the vibe.

“Fuck you, I keep telling you not to fucking die on me, and you just say that. What a bitch.” Alex says making a joke. “But no seriously, I’m here okay. No matter what happens. But you really are a bitch for getting cancer,” he continues as he parks into the hospital parking lot.

----

Alex opens the car door for Valerie as she takes a seat on the passenger side of the car. Both Alex and Valerie more dejected than ever.They both don’t know how to react to the news that was received.

Valerie wanted to cry, but all she got in return was that horrible feeling, when your in extreme pain but no tears come out, nothing could be worse than that feeling. She was begging for tears, no tears were miserable.

Alex on the other hand wanted to comfort his baby sister, his best friend, the strongest woman he has ever known. But he couldn’t, nothing he would say would change the fact that she was even closer to dying.

Valerie found out that the cancer had now progressed, the chemo and the drugs did nothing but make all her hair fall off. The blood cancer had now been progressed to stage 3. The doctors said that it was an abnormal growth, which they didn’t see coming. Ofcourse! She tried her hardest to keep herself together, and thank the doctors for their help.

But now she was in the car, and finally the tears started coming in. She sobbed miserably, beside her brother. Alex pulled the car over, immediately hugging his baby sister, keeping her close to his heart. He kissed her hair, continuously repeating “I love you”s and “I here for you”s.

“Shh. It’s gonna turn out alright in the end,” Alex whispered, as if he was reassuring himself. His eyes were watering now, too.

Val just kept close to her brother, cherishing every single moment she had with him. It was cliche, but she was also dying. And she would only be this emotional around her brother, she would only let her older brother, her security blanket, see her like that.

“I’m dying, I don’t want to die cus’ my body is shitty. This isn’t fair. It isn’t fair to any of us.” Valerie finally spoke, breathing heavily. She couldn’t deal with this bullshit anymore. Life.

----

Alex and Val pulled up into their parent’s driveway. Both of them still deeply disappointed, but trying their hardest to turn their frowns upside down, right now though, it seemed impossible.

Valerie walked into the house, hearing an all too familiar voice. Shawn. What was he doing here? He’s supposed to be on tour? She thought to herself. She wasn’t upset because of his arrival, just upset because of the wrong timing.

She walked into the lounge where she saw Shawn having a conversation with her dad. Both of them too involved in the conversation that they barely noticed her. But they did.

“VAL!!” Shawn exclaimed, jumping off the couch and walking fast to hug her. He picked her up, and turned her around, and for a second everything was okay. Only for a second, though.

“Put me down,” her voice muffled in his shoulder, she was laughing though. She was happy, happy to see him after 2 whole months. The Iphone screen had gotten annoying now.

“I’m taking you with me tonight, and you cannot stand me up, cus’ I’ll end this friendship if you do,” Shawn said, putting her down.

“Dramatic much,” Val said as she headed towards the kitchen, grabbing some orange juice.

As she was done pouring the juice in her glass, Shawn grabbed it, before even giving her a chance to touch the glass. “I’m being serious, plus you can finally meet my girlfriend.” He babbled as he drank the juice, Val smacking him on the shoulder, for that bitch move.

“I can’t go though,” she replied, grabbing another glass to pour her juice in.

“Why?”

“Cus’ I’ve got stuff,” she said casually.

“Wow, I see. That stuff is more important than me. Not gonna lie, I’m kinda hurt,” Shawn hoped his emotional blackmail would work.

“You can’t blackmail me!” She exclaimed.

“Yes I can. It’s been years since we last met!” Shawn whined like a 4 year old child.

“Correction, 2 months. But no seriously I can’t.”

“Valerie, please. I’m like here for 3 weeks before I have to leave again.”

“We can meet up tomorrow, during the day. You are gonna get drunk tonight and forget about me anyways. And then you’re going to fuck your girl, so it’s better if we meet up tomorrow, hmm?” Valerie said as she booped Shawn’s nose and headed towards the couch.

“Okay, I promise I won’t drink and I'll spend time with you...please?” He said giving his best puppy dog eyes.

“Shawn I can’t, please. I promise we can hangout tomorrow.”

Shawn frowned, as he plopped beside Valerie. Clearly upset. She wanted to hang out with his best friend, but she couldn’t. She still had to break the horrific news to her parents. She didn’t want to, but she had too. Shawn would never understand, simply because he had no clue what was happening in her life.

Shawn got up from the couch, and headed towards the door. Valerie got up, following him, making sure he wasn’t too upset. But obviously he was, what could be more important than him? he thought. Maybe she had a boyfriend now? he thought further. Or a better friend who had now replaced him.

“Shawn, please. I promise I’ll spend the day with you tomorrow. We can have breakfast and hangout.”

Shawn huffed. Still pissed. His overthinking not helping him one bit.

“Shawn,” she grabbed his wrist, making him stop. “Atleast you can get shitfaced tonight,” she suggested, raising her eyebrows.

“Yea,” he tried to hide his smile, but Val already knew she won him over. “But don’t you dare bail on me tomorrow.”

“K, and bring Ava and Brian with you too, it’s gonna be fun!” She squealed as she let go of his wrist.

She stood in her porch, and watched him drive off in his jeep. Never in a million would she ever believe that the Shawn she knew was now known by millions. She kind of hated the fact that her Shawn, was now known by millions, but she was also glad. She was glad that people knew a person like Shawn. The sweetest, most loving person she has ever come across in her life.

She walked inside, going back to the T.V show she was watching. A little while later, her little sister, Olivia, sat beside her, and started watching the show with her. As time passed, her brother and father had joined them as well.

Her father wanted to ask what happened at the doctors, because she seemed upset, but he resisted. Instead he asked his son, Alex. Alex told his father what happened, both devastated. Her father didn’t know how to react though, he was definitely upset but this news had shocked him. It seemed as if his brain shut down on him. He had to pretend he didn’t know though, in front of Valerie until her mother came anyways.

----

After a while, it seemed like minutes, but after 2 hours, Val’s mother walked through the door. She was happy, she was expecting amazing news. She wasn’t prepared for what was to come.

She went over to her family who were all busy watching the T.V, and took a seat beside her husband, hoping to get the best possible news. “So what happened? What did they say?”

Valerie fixed her posture, grabbing the T.V remote and lowering the volume. She looked over to her mom, sadness reflecting in Valerie’s eyes. Her mother got the idea, but she still wasn’t ready for what was to come.

“Well, they said that- um- it has gotten worse,” Valerie spoke up, “And that chemo and radiation and the drugs didn’t help much.” Her little sister listened to her speak, intently.

Valerie looked over to her mother and saw the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She continued though, she wanted this to be over with. “Well, now they’ve diagnosed me with Stage 3 Lukemia, and they’ve given me more drugs and stuff, so that it could get better. But they said that there were low chances of recovery now.” She had tears in her eyes now too.

The room was eerie. Everyone too scared to speak. Everyone too busy feeling heartbreak, unfairness, disappointment, but most importantly feeling Valerie’s presence, not knowing how much longer she’d be present amongst them. No one would ever say that out loud, it would make it true, as if it wasn't already. But they were scared, even Valerie, the strongest woman anyone in her family had come across.

---

Valerie woke up from her phone buzzing on the nightstand. Shawn. He was facetiming her. Valerie answered the phone, before thinking twice. The call answered to a well dressed Shawn.

“Oh my god, did you just wake up?” Shawn exclaimed.

“Heyy…” she replied groggily, “what can I say, I had a long night.” She tried winking at the end of her sentence.

“Holy Shit Val, we are supposed to meet in like 10 minutes, and ur princess ass just woke up.”

“Okay! Okay! I’m getting out of bed!” she gave him her best wide smile, “are you gonna pick me up?”

“Yea! I’ll be there in 20, your ass better be ready!”

“K, bye,”

She intended to get up, but she thought that 5 minutes of laying on the bed wouldn’t hurt anyone, she never meant to fall back asleep. But there she was in front of Shawn’s eyes, snoring.

First, he thought about letting her sleep and going to lay beside her, like old times. But that thought was stolen, by the fact that Brian and his girlfriend, Ava, were waiting for the both of them. Then, he thought of a better idea. Screaming.

Valerie woke up, definitely scared, not knowing what happened, but someone was screaming, so it was definitely something bad. She rubbed her eyes, and then saw Shawn screaming.

“Shut the fuck up!” She exclaimed loudly.

He stopped, but then started again. She got out of bed and smacked his chest, hardly. And then he finally shut up.

“I thought you were supposed to be ready by now,” Shawn exclaimed.

“Can you let a girl live, for fucks sake!” she said as she headed to the bathroom.

Shawn found himself at ease, as he laid on her double bed. Her familiar scent lingering on the sheets. Rosewater. She always smelled like that, it didn’t match her outspoken personality, but Shawn always knew she was delicate like a rose, no matter how hardcore she came off.

---

Valerie headed out the door, not forgetting to grab her 2 bottles of pills. She didn’t know how, but she had to sneak them inside her after every meal. She bid her mother a good-bye and headed towards Shawn’s Jeep.

Ava was sitting in the passenger seat, and Brian in the back, right behind Ava. Shawn opened the back door for Val, and shut it for her when she got in.

“Hi guys!” Valerie exclaimed as she made herself comfortable in her seat.

“HEYYY!!!” Brian and Ava bursted together, Brian hugging her for a good ten seconds.

Shawn had now pulled out of Valerie’s driveway, a smile sporting on his beautiful features. Ava shifted her body, so she could look at Valerie with ease.

“It is so nice to finally meet you. Like Shawn wouldn’t shut up about you, it got kinda annoying, no offence, but now I know why!” Ava said with a bright smile on her face.

“Really? He likes me that much?” Valerie chuckled, “But no seriously he needs to learn how to stop talking about you! I thought I was the only girl in his life.” Ava laughed at her comment.

“Well boo, now that we have each other we don’t need Shawn,” Ava exclaimed.

“Hey! That's rude. And for your information, both of your life would’ve been dry without me,” Shawn exclaimed.

“I was doing pretty well, without you, Shawnieee,” Valerie teased, Shawn frowned at her comment but smiled knowing she missed him, alot.

Before they knew it, they were at a little cafe in downtown. Valerie, Brian, and Ava headed to the little patio, that was owned by the coffee shop, some girls spotted Shawn, and he was held back. Brian and Valerie sat beside each other, while Ava sat opposite to Brian, and the seat beside her reserved for Shawn.

After a couple of minutes, Shawn came and took a seat, ordering their breakfast. All four of them busy talking. Everything seemed normal, even with a new member in their group. Valerie found out, Ava was raised in Mississauga, another town close to Toronto. They both had a lot in common, she genuinely liked Ava.

“Val, What happened to your hair?” Brian questioned out of nowhere.

Ah Shit, she thought.

“Oh, I don’t even know, it just started to die and like I think its cus’ of the stress and stuff? I don’t know but something like that,” she tried to convince him, and Shawn who now took notice of her hair, and started examining her. Her whole body.

“You also lost a lot of weight too, everything fine?” This time Shawn questioned, voice full of worry.

“Again, Prolly cus of the finals and the stress and stuff,” Valerie replied, feeling very uncomfortable.

Shawn nodded, even though he didn’t believe her, he let go, but both Shawn and Valerie knew, Shawn was going to inspect further, later. Valerie hoped he didn’t though.

---

After eating breakfast and roaming around the streets of downtown Toronto, all four of them ended up in Shawn’s penthouse. Val was still awestrucked by his place, not believing the little boy who talked her out of losing her virginity at the age of 16, owned that big of a place.

Shawn grabbed Ava’s windbreaker, hanging it up in the little closet beside the door, then grabbing Valerie’s adidas jacket and hanging it up as well.

“Hey pass me your bag too,” Shawn said mindlessly. Valerie already occupied in a conversation with Brian, passed her purse to Shawn without thinking twice. Oh boy.

Shawn grabbed her purse placing it on the little table placed opposite to the door, but his clumsy self dropped the purse. The contents of the purse falling out. Lipgloss. A tiny mirror. Eyelash thing -the thing that Shawn didn’t know the name of. A scrunched up receipt. And pills.

Pills? Shawn picked up the two little bottles up. Why does she have pills? Shawn questioned quietly. He rotated one of the bottles in his hand and saw her name on it. Valerie Russo. Take 1 pill with meal each day. Was she okay? He thought further. Busulfan. Shawn quickly snapped a picture of that one bottle, not caring about the other one. He was going to search up what it was used for, before he accused her of something. For all his dumbass knew, they could’ve been vitamins.

Shawn quickly stuffed the fallen out contents in Val’s bag when he heard Brian calling out his name. He walked into the Living Room, putting on an act. He sat opposite to Valerie, examining her. He noticed the little eye bags, and her face a little more paler than the last time he saw her. He notices her oversized hoodie, wondering what else she’s hiding under there. She looked bonier than before.

“Let’s go swimming!” Ava said, pulling Shawn out of the dark train of thought.

I don’t feel like it, you guys go, I’m gonna hang around here.” Valerie said with an apologetic smile, though this only worried Shawn more, Wasn’t swimming her favourite thing in the world? He thought.

“Kay, Brian go with Av, I’m gonna hangout with Val for a bit,” Shawn said, in his best possible normal voice.

Brian and Ava were busy splashing each other, while Shawn was busy searching up Busulfan, the medicine he found in Valerie’s bag. He only wanted to know why she had it. Was he going behind her back? He was too confused. A little heartbroken over the fact that Valerie didn’t let Shawn know about whatever was happening in her life. But again they might just be vitamins. He hoped for the latter.

“Busulfan is a chemotherapy drug used before a stem cell transplant to treat blood cancers. It may also be used to treat other blood-related disorders and cancers. Busulfan can be given by drip into a vein (infusion) or as tablets.” That’s the first thing he read on his phone. Shawn’s heart sinking further and further and read each word. Blood Cancer? That’s not possible right? Shawn kept asking himself. He moved his gaze from his phone to Valerie, who was too busy looking at Ava and Brian. Not paying any attention to Shawn.

Shawn didn’t know what to say. Why couldn’t they just be vitamins. He felt as if something was stolen from right under him. Hell, it wasn’t explainable. It was so much more worse than all the heartbreaks he went through because of shitty girls.

Valerie was his person, she was always there for him, supporting him through everything and anything. Why was this happening to him? Was he going to lose Valerie? Shawn’s mind was going crazy with the overthinking.

“Shawn, want something to drink?” Valerie had asked him this question about three times and finally this time she got an answer but she was taken aback.

“There is something you’re not telling me,” Shawn declared after the five minutes of silence.

“What?” She questioned.

“You’re sick!” Shawn exclaimed loudly, Valerie startled, not expecting that.

“Shawn I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She said, scared.

“Oh fuck you and your fucking act. I saw the fucking pills in your bag. Do you fucking think I’m some 10 year old, who you can fool?” Shawn said still talking loudly, moving closer to Valerie.

“I- Shawn-” She was speechless, she really was though, she didn’t know what she was going to say, she wasn’t prepared for this moment.

“When were you going to tell me,” Shawn asked quietly this time. Heartbreak evident in his voice.

He was met with silence though, he already knew the answer though. Never.

“How long ago were you diagnosed?” Shawn questioned, throwing his head back against the back pillows of the couch, rubbing away the prickly tears that were forming in his eyes.

It was quiet for an eternity, at least it felt like it. “About 10 months,” Valerie finally spoke up, voice still quiet though.

Shawn chuckled. “Ten. Fucking. Months.” He inhaled sharply continuing, “Am I that inconsiderable?” he questioned, now definitely heartbroken.

“I was scared,” Valerie spoke, voice breaking.

“Scared of what? Of me thinking I would get cooties from you?”

“I don’t know. I was scared of you finding out.”

“Right, well guess what, I still fucking found out after nine fucking months. You kn- I- Fuck. I don’t even know what to say to you anymore. I can’t even look at you the same. I fucking trusted you, I was suppose to be your fucking bestfriend. I am the one who was supposed to be there for you. I was the one who was supposed to be the person who you came crying to. Fuck Val, I was suppose to be the first person to know, and you couldn’t even bother letting me know you were ill for ten fucking months.” Shawn’s eyes were bloodshot red by the time he stopped talking.

“No don’t you fucking say that to me. Do you fucking realise how hard it is to tell the people you love, that you are fucking dying. Shawn there were so many fucking nights when I called you, and then you answered and you were all happy, I wasn’t gonna ruin that because of my sickness. I tried so many times, I fucking tried so many times, but you fucking tell me how you are suppose to tell the one person you chose to be apart of your life, the one person you chose as your family, how was I suppose to tell my bestfriend I’m dying, that the fucking doctors have given up on me. There is nothing they can do, Shawn. It’s like they are fucking handing you your death certificate,” Valerie replied fully breaking into sobbs.

“Well guess what Val, No one is happy. You fucking tried to keep me happy and now look where I am, the saddest I have ever been in my life, not cus’ my bestfriend is dying, but because I have never felt more betrayed in my life. I trusted you more than anyone in my life, and you couldn't even be bothered.” Shawn stated, rubbing away his tears.

“Shawn-” Valerie went to touch Shawn’s arm, but he shrugged her off.

“You know, I legit have no control over my life, everything I’m supposed to do, all the decisions made about me are not taken by me. I don’t know what my management would want me to do when I go back. I have no control. But when it came to you, my fucking family, I thought I would be apart of the decison making, I thought that I would have a say, I thought I would be important. Fuck making decisons. I thought I'd be important enough to at least be told things, to know what was happening, to not be left in the dark.” Shawn said, voice quiet as ever, Valerie knew she broke him, because she never saw him like this. Not even after he broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years.

Valerie tried to hug him, knowing hugs helped him when nothing else did, but he pushed her off of him. Never in a million years did he think he’d be this hurt over a girl. A fucking girl who betrayed his trust. But it was Valerie, the girl he went through puberty with, the one he’d call at 12 am because he was nervous for his date the next day, the girl who let him copy her notes, the girl who’d call him everyday telling him about everything. Everything. Well not everything for the past 10 months, atleast.

It was quiet, both of them not knowing what to say. They had never been through this big of an argument, if you could even call this that. All you could hear were sniffles coming from the both of them, and Brian and Ava’s voices in the distant. Both of them happy as ever, not having a clue of what was going on inside.

This world is such a weird place, Shawn thought. Someone was probably having fun, like Ava and Brian, or this might be the best day in someone else’s life. Maybe they were getting married, maybe they knew their forever, even though it didn’t exist. Maybe they had a child, but they were happy. Happy. Satisfied.

But then there was the other half, having the worst day of their life. Maybe they lost someone. Maybe they found out their significant other was cheating on them. Or maybe they found out they were losing someone, that, that the one person they loved so much was slipping right away, and they couldn’t do a single thing to help them, to stop them from slipping away. Like Shawn.

“So, what do the doctors say? Can they remove it?” Shawn questioned gently, not knowing what was to come.

Valerie inhaled sharply, deciding it was better to come clean. “I went yesterday, and… they said that, well I got diagnosed with stage 3 lukemia yesterday.”

Shawn breathing became laboured. She really was dying wasn’t she?

“And they said, um the doctors. Yea well they said that it has been spread to other organs, and that well basically they told me that I'm dying and that they can’t do anything to help me,” Val continued.

It was quiet. Eerie quiet. Shawn was too busy thinking. Valerie hoping he would just say something. Both of them scared as fuck, though. How is a person supposed to react? Boy did they both wish this was a movie, or a nightmare. A long long nightmare. It was too scary to be true, right?

“Shawn, say something.”

Valerie was only met with silence though. She tried again.

“Shawn, please, just-”

“What do you want me to say? Congrats on dying? Or congrats over the fact that you successfully hid this from me for ten whole months,” Shawn exclaimed, raising his voice.

Valerie stayed quiet, sobbing away her pain. Shawn had never seen her like this. Weak, physically and emotionally. He had never seen her sob like that, those heartbroken sobs. And neither had he seen her this boney. If that was even the right word.

He moved closer to her, pulling her close to his chest. He rested his chin on her head. “We will figure this out. I promise. I’ll get you the best doctors in the world. I promise you are gonna be alright, everything is gonna be alright and then when you’re perfectly fine, I’ll finally take you to London. And we will tour Europe together, I promise you. Just don’t give up on me, please,” Shawn said desperately, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Shawn.”

----

It had been three weeks since Shawn found out, and for the past three weeks, Shawn tried to get in contact with the best Oncologists. He has went as far as trying to get a hold of professors at Harvard and Stanford, for the first time using his fame to get through things. Big things, atleast. He even cancelled his promo tour, Andrew was upset but right now he couldn’t possibly give less of a shit about Andrew’s pretty feelings right now.

Valerie, on the other hand was trying to stop Shawn from trying to get ahold of every doctor in existence. She could feel herself slipping away, she was starting to give up, everything became too much. A little too much. Her monthly visits to the doctor now became weekly. The doctors advised her to stop going to university. She didn’t listen to them though, until she almost fainted while going up the stairs. Walking more than a hundred metres had become a nightmare. But she pretended to be okay.

Everyone kept saying how she was so brave, but no one knew how she was slowly slipping away, well except for her brother. He noticed, but he didn’t say anything, just cracked some jokes to see a smile on her face. Shawn was too busy trying to save her life to even notice how she was worse than before, he kept calling and calling, not realizing he wasn’t getting anywhere. At some point Valerie thought, he kept “calling” because he couldn’t even look at her, forget about looking her in the eyes.

Though, Val’s worst nightmare was coming true. All of a sudden she was just a sick girl, no more future lawyer. No more, brave, strong, or the cold-hearted bitch. She had slowly become the centre of attention, and oh how much she hated that. Why couldn’t she just be normal, why did life do her this dirty.

Her baby sister on the other hand, was quiet. Really quiet. One day, Valerie approached her, asked her why she was so quiet. She ignored Val’s existence, as if she was already dead. After a couple of days Val approached Liv, her sister, again. As she walked into her room, she saw her quietly sobbing. She asked what was wrong, but the question Liv asked was unexpected.

“You are dying aren’t you? And I don’t get why everyone is trying to sugarcoat it… but I just want the truth,” Liv sobbed.

“You sure you can handle the truth?” Valerie questioned.

“I know I won’t be able to, but the truth is better than sugar coating the worst thing that has ever happened to you.”

“Yes, I am. At Least that's what I think, but you never know, I might be immortal,” Valerie replied winking at the end.

Olivia chuckled, for the first time in weeks probably.

Valerie layed back on her bed, “You know mom and dad, and Alex and even Shawn, they all are trying so hard to keep me alive, but I don’t know, it’s like I don’t want to be here. Like all of sudden, everything has become too much, too much for me to handle. Everyone is so busy trying to stuff pills and drugs inside me that they don’t even notice me wishing to not be here. My life has become a living nightmare.

“And I just feel like a nuclear bomb, you know. Like right now I’m a bomb threat, everyone is on high alert. Just waiting for the bomb to go off any second. And when the bomb finally goes off, I’ll have this forever impact on everyone, a negative impact. Like, you know, when you are thirty and have a guy or kids or whatever, I’ll still be haunting you, you know. It just sucks being that person. I hate being that person,” Valerie said, deep in thought, almost forgetting her 10 year sister was sitting right beside her.

“Well, when I am thirty and have a guy or kids whatever,” Liv chuckled, quoting Val, “I’m gonna remember you as the best person I’ve ever come across. Val you aren’t a bomb, you aren’t harmful, and I know you think that, but all of those people are trying hard, really hard, to keep you alive. Cus’ you are special and cus’ you mean so much to them. If you were a bomb, they would’ve let you go a long long long time ago.

“I didn’t try talking to you, cus’ it was hard. It’s hard for me to look at you and not think if you are gonna be here a week from now. And I hate thinking that, I hate thinking that you might not be here in the morning. I hate thinking that, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but think what life would be like when you’re not here, before I go to sleep every night. And I promise myself to not think like that ever again, cus’ you’re not going anywhere, but then I wake up and see you are not you anymore, and then all those thoughts come back.” Liv finally stopped tears marking there way down her cheeks.

Valerie looked up at her sister, who was seated beside her. She pulled her to her chest, so she was now laying in Valerie’s arms. Valerie kept Liv close, knowing Liv would never forget this night, no matter how old she got. Then Val finally spoke, “Hey you know, it’s okay to think that. To think about the future. At Least you aren’t being delusional like Shawn, who is trying to get a hold of doctors who live thousands and thousands of miles away from us. It’s okay to think that, you know why,” Liv shifts her head, now having a view of her older sister’s drop dead gorgeous face, “Cus’ it’s good to know what’s to come. It’s good to think about the reality and what’s actually supposed to come when everyone else is being delusional.”

With that both of them fell asleep into their peaceful slumber, both of them getting some sleep for the first time in days.

----

A few more days went by, until that one Wednesday where Val woke up to her throwing up blood. Alot of blood. She didn’t know what to do or who to call, except to run to the bathroom and spilling all her blood in the toilet. She couldn’t hear or feel anything. All she heard was the sharp ringing in her ears, that was starting to cause a headache, and all she could feel was blood gushing out of her system. The sharp ringing in her ears resisting her from thinking. She knew vomiting blood was normal, but throwing up this much blood was definitely not normal.

Shawn was suppose to have breakfast with her, that Wednesday. He was patiently waiting for her in her parent’s lounge, until he got impatient and walked up to her room. He was pissed off, they were supposed to leave 10 minutes ago, he couldn’t help but be frustrated. He thought she probably wasn’t even awake, he thought about all the ways he could wake up Val, maybe pouring a bucket of water on her, he thought.

But the second he walked in, he saw an unmade bed, and heard disturbingly inhumane noise coming from the bathroom. Should he go in? He thought. He was deep in thought for about ten seconds until those voices got worse, and he decided to walk in would be the best thing to do.

As he opened the bathroom door, he saw Valerie puking blood, her hands covered in blood, and Valerie herself limp against the toilet. He headed over to Valerie flushing the toilet for her, and then rubbing her back. He held her hair for her, and then he finally saw her face, pale as ever. And that’s when he knew to call the ambulance because it was so much more complicated than normal puke.

The ambulance was here in a couple of minutes, taking Valerie and Shawn to the nearest hospital. Shawn was freaking out, It had been twenty minutes since Shawn walked in on Val, and she was still unstable. Was this finally it? Shawn thought.

As soon as the ambulance reached the hospital, Val was taken into surgery. The doctors gave very little information to Shawn, and that was only freaking him out more. While Val was in surgery, Shawn called her mom and dad, and her brother. All of them completely losing their sanity.

----

Valerie made it out of surgery, okay. Not the best but okay. The doctors were keeping a close eye on her and so were her loved ones. After much convincing, Shawn stayed with Valerie for Friday night. He couldn’t sleep for the past two days, whenever he closed his eyes, all he saw was a Valerie covered in blood.

He sat beside Valerie, she was asleep. But he was looking at her, intently. Even when she had wires hooked up to her, she still looked as beautiful as ever. Shawn grabbed her hand, kissing her knuckles gently. He kept telling himself, that she would make it, that she was strong, the strongest person he ever came across. But he knew that was far from the truth.

Valerie stirred as she felt something wet on her hand, opening her eyes she saw Shawn with teared up eyes. She squeezed his hand, Shawn finally noticing her.

“Hey, sleeping beauty, you woke up at the wrong time.” Shawn commented.

“Well maybe you should stop crying and let go of my hand, then I can probably fall asleep and not wake up until the morning,” Valerie added weakly, giving him a weakened smile.

Shawn got up from his chair, and motioned for her to move over so he can lay beside her. As Shawn got into the hospital bed with her, Valerie rested her head on his built chest. They both felt them falling back in time, Shawn was leaving to tour with Taylor Swift, both of them a little scared and heartbroken, not knowing if they’d still be friends, if Shawn would forget about Valerie, if Valerie would find a better friend. The night before Shawn left for the 1989 tour, they both layed like they were laying right now. Except Shawn was more built now, and both of them were 4 years older, but both of them were still scared. That didn’t change.

“You know, Brian dumped a bucket full of ice on Alexa yesterday, and she was screaming and it was crazy. But he was super drunk, I don’t think he remembers.” Shawn said after awhile of them just laying around.

“Alexa?! Is he crazy, why her out of all the people? Does he have a death wish or something? Or does he want a rumour spread about his dick being too small?” Valerie chuckled.

“But his dick is small, so it wouldn’t be a rumour, would it?” Shawn replied with a smile on his face.

“How would you know? Mendes are you trying to tell me something?” Valerie side eyed him with a grin.

“Jesus, do you realize how hard it is to talk to you!” Shawn exclaimed.

“It’s okay, Shawnie I accept all kinds of people.” Valerie added, cheekily.

“Oh shut up. Your opinion doesn’t matter,” Shawn adds.

“Oh really? But you’re does. And ladies and gentlemen that’s what we call white privilege,” She adds, raising her right eyebrow, and giving him a glare, jokingly.

“Val, you look white too, okay! Stop trying to be different,” he said, moving a little so he’s a little more comfortable.

“Um, I don’t think so. First of all just cus’ I have a white mom, it doesn’t mean i’m white. I’m proudly Italian.”

“And what, Italians are purple? Or are they pink, or even better blue?”

“Oh shut up, you will never understand the hardships of an olive coloured girl,” Valerie replied, jokingly.

“Whatever you say, Ma’am. But still, you fucking look white,” Shawn says with an amused smile sporting on his features.

“Good boy,” Valerie says while ruffling his hair.

It got quiet after that, for a while. Both of them feeling eachother lay beside each other. They didn’t want to be emo or anything, but fuck, were they feeling alot of things right now. Shawn held her close, he didn’t know if she was going to with him tomorrow, or even the next minute. He still thought she would recover though, because that’s who she was, proving everyone wrong. Valerie wasn’t thinking though, she was at that point in her life where she was okay with dying or living. She didn’t care anymore.

“Hm, you’re making everything so hard on me,” Shawn mumbled, into her hair.

“Oh no, what did I do, what did I do to make the Shawn Mendes’ life hard,” Val joked.

“Well first off, you decided to get sick, then you decided to die on me,”

“Hey I’m not dead yet, stop trying to kill me before the movie ends,” she said, putting her hand on heart, being jokingly offended.

“Movie?”

“Yes obviously my life is a movie! Are you kidding me, I’m in bed with Shawn Mendes but we aren’t naked. That stuff only happens in movies, my friend,” she responded, patting his chest.

“So you wanna get naked with me?” Shawn questions, confused.

“Oh hell no. I already know you’re horrible in bed. I like manly men. You are just… you,” Valerie added, looking at him, smiling widely knowing she hit that one spot.

“Hey! I’m manly, correction, you like bad men. Men who give you nothing but chlamydia.”

“Whatever, but I know you’re really bad in bed,”

“How?”

“Cus’ look at you. The guys who have the most hype around them, are the worst ones.”

“Well for your information, I’m amazing in bed, some might even say mind blowing,” Shawn said cheekily.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, kiddo,”

“Stop calling me kiddo, it’s embarrassing.”

“But I love you, so it’s fine,”

“I love you too,” Shawn says gently pecking Valerie’s forehead, both of them drifting off to sleep, soon enough.

----

Shawn woke up to Valerie peacefully sleeping on his chest. He slowly slid out of the hospital bed, making sure not to wake her up. He stood beside the bed for a good ten seconds, making sure she was still asleep. Then he headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

He headed outside, to grab a cup of coffee and a croissant, he was hungry. It was Shawn we were talking about, he was hungry all the time, he just couldn’t help it. He sat in the little coffee shop, scrolling through his phone, and replying to messages from Brian and Ava, until a group of girls approached him.

He was about to head back to the hospital, knowing the doctors would be on rounds soon, and he didn’t want to miss on what the doctors had to say. He wanted to excuse himself, but he couldn’t. He was scared people would start calling him a bitch. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he wanted to avoid that situation.

About twenty minutes later, with the crowd only getting larger, Shawn finally headed back to the hospital. He was in a good mood. He felt as if good things were coming today. Valerie was feeling better yesterday, or so he felt, but all he hoped was for good news from the doctors.

He pressed the elevator button, he felt as if it was taking forever. He thought about how he was going to surprise Valerie with tickets to London. He had already bought them, everything was arranged, Brian and Ava were coming along too. Shawn was so excited, it was so hard for him to hold back last night. But it wasn’t confirmed last night, and then this morning Shawn had gotten a text from Andrew that everything was arranged.

The elevator arrived, and took Shawn to the fourth floor, the ICU. He walked through the cold hallways, feeling a little sad, and disappointed seeing all these families so desperate, hoping that their family member made it. He was thankful though, Val might’ve been sick but at least she was here with him. As he reached Valerie’s room, he saw multiple doctors. Nurses blocking his view, when he tried to walk inside her room, the nurses pushed him out.

He didn’t know what was happening, it wasn’t normal, something was definitely wrong. He tried entering the room again, but was pushed out again.

“Stop fucking touching me! And let me see her,” Shawn yelled.

“Sir please head outside. Wait outside her room until the doctors come out,” one of the nurses said, patiently.

Shawn heads outside, mumbling a couple of “fuck you’s.” He waits outside, time becoming his worst enemy. He becomes highly fidgety, not knowing what to do, or who to call. He tries pushing the worst thoughts out of his head, but he can’t help it. He can’t help but think the worse. But then his extremely tired brain reassures him. “Everything is going to be okay,” he keeps repeating like a prayer.

After about 5 minutes of living hell, not knowing what was happening to his best friend, the doctors walk out of her room. He can’t tell from their facial expressions, but he knows they are not smiling. Maybe doctors just have a poker face? He thinks.

“Hey Shawn,” Dr. Wilson approached him. “Um, I don't know how to say this,” Shawn’s heart sinks, “But um, Valerie passed away at 10:52.” Shawn’s ears started ringing, he stopped feeling, “she had a heart failure, we tried to revive her, but it was already too late. Um- we- well we don’t know what caused the heart failure, but we will find out, after the autopsy. I’m so sorry.” With that Dr. Wilson walked away.

Shawn just stood there, he didn’t know what to feel, he stopped thinking until he felt something wet on his hand. Tears. His tears. He zones back in, finally realising what had happened. He walked into Valerie’s room. He sees her helpless as ever, never had he ever thought he’d see her like this. He walked closer to her, gently caressing her cheek. He finally sees her, the Valerie he had grown up with. She isn’t sick anymore, she’s peaceful, as if she’s out of pain.

He grabs the chair from the corner of the room, and brings it closer to the bed. He takes a seat and grabs her hand, he kisses her knuckles, somewhat hoping she’d wake up, like she did last night. But all he’s met with is silence. And then the waterworks start. He can’t stop the tears. They just keep coming and coming. He’s sobbing by now, but he hasn’t let go of her hand.

“Val, we are going to London, please wake up. You can’t just walk out on me like that. Val, please, love- please wake up,” he desperately pleads, hoping this is just some kind of prank, but all he’s met with is silence.

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