Another chapter of my "The Waynes on Twitter" work on AO3
Masterlist of Tweets
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Extra Dialogue:
Bruce: wow, this is so cray cray. do the kids still say cray cray?
Tim: absolutely they do
Bruce: great!
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Bruce: did you see the cookies alfred made? weren't they so slay?
Stephanie: they really were. have you told cass that?
Bruce: i haven't but i will now
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39 - The struggles of being a single (really rich) dad
I’m BEGGING y’all to stop erasing the fact that Bruce didn’t adopt Dick for the LONGEST TIME EVER. That’s what gives their relationship that kick. That’s also one of the main sources of their misunderstandings which is an inherent constant in their story.
"Your backpack could hold one head :/"
"Damn your purse could totally hold three heads I'm impressed"
"Only half a head for that one there :/"
"Dammit Tim where the hell did you find a duffle bag *that* size?? That could totally hold sixteen heads, easy!"
The bats are somehow very amused by this (Tim: Like I'd ever tell you where I got it - and if you think you can ruin mine I'll hack the library's and ban you", Steph: "Why do you think I bought this purse?", Duke: "Somehow I'm pretty sure this is Normal Jason behaviour")
Concerned about this (Dick: "Are you looking for more places to store heads or something?")
Relatively indifferent about this (Damian: "Only that few if you are careless, otherwise Drake's duffle bag could hold a great deal more heads than that", Cass: "You could, yes.", Alfred: "Master Jason, if you get bloodstains on the others things I will insist you clean it yourself.")
And Greatly, Greatly Concerned and a bit bewildered about this (Bruce: "Why is that your go-to unit of measurement?")
Since Bruce was raised by a very British man he has some British quirks like calling the garbage “rubbish”, calling coats “jumpers” saying some words with a slight British accent, stuff like that
Edit: okay so apparently jumpers aren’t coats but sweaters 😂. Obviously I am not British mb💀💀