#correct until proven a clown

[stevespookington]

a palace made out of crystal, a closet made out of glass… or to quote @strawberryswords,"ted lasso: unhinged bisexual on twitter. more at 11"

aka there were too many to screenshot

(the whole thread of watching a wonderful life actually)

and @strawberryswords pointed out

#ted lasso #ted lasso meta #not really spoilers i dont think #i dont even need to connect any dots here they are all right there #correct until proven a clown #tedpendent #anyways he isnt going thru a bi crisis hes just forgotten he didnt come out (an essay in screenshots of tweets form)

[sxfik]

han seo headcanons (part 4)

writing this is cathartic tbh. of course, i always write on the days i have an exam to prep for (aka my lit exam tmrw thats technically today)!! we make good life decisions here at clown nation <3

< prev

read on ao3

tw: mentions of abuse

the first time they competed, vincenzo was away on his buisness trip to italy. he had some loose ends to tie up after his little contract and getting paulo off the helm of the mafia.

which meant that jipuragi was particularly empty without the italian-korean's presence. no one to give han seo a pat on his back. no one to look over cha-young's shoulder.

they all felt it hard, as if the firm had a huge hole where vincenzo is supposed to be

han seo felt himself looking at his desk every single time he passed by it. the first day was more jarring than the rest, he had gotten used to vincenzo's presence in his life.

it was a particularly late friday night at jipuragi. han seo lugged into the firm a gigantic stack of contracts and internal documents about babel so the laywers and him can go through each one. cha-young had to carry both her and vincenzo's load for that week with vincenzo in italy.

they were stressed and tired and had a million paper cuts from sorting through each pile of documents. all three of them were working quietly, the silence comfortable, save for the sounds of russling paper and pens scratching across notepads

"alright, i'm off for the night. i have a airplane competition tomorrow morning and i need jason to fly far for me so i can finally win that 500 dollar prize. goodnight byeonosanim, mr. jang" the paralegal said as he put on his satchel and took out his cycle. he waved his goodbyes as the he left, leaving han seo and cha-young in the office by themselves.

they had only known each other for two weeks, really. han seo always met his hyung vincenzo over drinks or over at his house. he only ever saw the pretty lawyer from a distance, usually when taking note of how his hyung vincenzo dotes over her just so he can tease him about her

and use her to distract his hyung

it always works

cha-young didn't know much about the young ceo, despite meeting him a couple times from her time at wusang. part of her never wanted to trust him, even though he had proven himself and his loyalty to vincenzo, because in the world she lived in, everyone could betray the other at any time

but his presence in the office was comforting to her. he had come in, dressed like an 80s disco star and all asking if he could join the team, and somehow, he stuck with her.

something in her wanted to trust him. he seemed unassuming and loyal to the core, especially to vincenzo. the way he always walked into the firm grinning, visiting the plaza residents. he had an energy about him that reminded him of a younger sibling she's always wanted

but she was burned once with prosecutor jung and she's learned her lesson so it was time for the ultimate test

"are you hungry?" she asked, shuffling through her papers one last time before standing up, and putting the stacks back into their file system

han seo was startled for a second, his head buried deep with in the papers, the words almost swimming together with the amount of times he had to look through these contracts

for a second, he thought she was speaking to vincenzo, not himself before he remembered that vincenzo wasn't here this week

"Oh yes, byeonosanim. Would you like to order something or..?" he'd replied as he stood up from his seat, giving his legs a strech. he had forgotten just how tired he was until she asked him, his body feeling the effects of running the company and being at jipuragi

"Yeah, we can. I have the perfect restaurant to get some food from! they're always open late too so it's really convenient" she quipped back, her back facing him as she started putting all the contracts back into place and started pulling out new ones to look over

he followed suit, clearing up the table he was working on and moving to the paralegal’s desk.

even though his work was often hard for him to understand, the legal and formal language needing multiple reads, he felt refreshed each time he came to the plaza

he'd established a daily routine here, going to check on the hee-soo at the snack bar, visiting the pawnshop

he's quite good with his hands. he'd always known he had a knack for taking things apart and fixing them, which especially helped at the pawnshop when college students and older families would come by with broken tablets and gadgets.

even though he was rich, barely anything was spent on him when his dad was alive. every single new outfit or toy always went to han-seok, where as he was stuck with the ragged hand me downs, and old toys.

so when he had gotten his first phone, and broken the keypad, (because han seok threw it across the room when he got angry that he had the same model as his illegitimate brother) he understood it was up to him to figure it out.

he was always good at taking things apart, from all his toy cars to majority of the gadgets and clocks he had in his house.

(there was a day, when he was younger, that he took apart han seok's toy car. the next school day he walked around with gloves, trying to forget about how his cuts hurt as he curled his fingers around a pencil)

taking things apart and then putting them back together the same way was somehow natural to him. but of course, none of that mattered since he couldn't score well enough on his exams to get past the courses he needed to into engineering. plus, he could imagine the sneer on his father's face if he told him what path he was considering...

for most of his life, he'd felt useless compared to his brother. he was never the quick-witted boy at school, failing his english courses and having to go to cram schools and tutoring sessions just to pass by.

he hated going to school everyday, having the teachers shame him for not being as smart as his brother, not being as charismatic or as smooth talking

the exam days were always the worst. looking at the exam sheet, his palms sweaty and his throat tight as he looked at the questions

the doubt was overwhelming. the pressure made him sweat and freeze up even though he knew the problems.

the kids at his schools always seemed to prefer han seok, for some weird reason, when to him he's always been the menace in his life.

han seok was the one to head the company. the one he can't measure up to in front of his father. the one to push the family forward. every bit of praise, every second of attention, it all went to han seok.

han seo was the mistake. the one who always fucked it up. the one who seemed to mess up his brother's plans.

his brother seemed to take it upon himself to remind him that he wasn't meant to be alive. and their father, believing it to be good for han seo, would force him to be tutored by han seok every day.

his brother had a field day with it, finding the most creative ways to abuse and torture him

of course, he's not allowed to say a word about it.

at first, working at jipuragi was anxiety inducing, sweat drenching his shirt each time he brought a document he thought useful to vincenzo, his throat closing up imagining the consequences of fucking up

he knew deep down, that vincenzo wasn't like his brother, he will not hurt him, he will not kill him

but the anxiety and panic are second nature to him

his eyes were glued to his shoes after he handed it over to vincenzo.

vincenzo paused, looking over the document with scrutiny. and his body was automatically bracing for a slap, a punch. at the very least a snide remark or a sneer.

instead he looked up at han seo, nodding, and told him "this is very useful. thank you."

thank you.

thank you. he blinked.

the words echoed in his head as he replayed them back over and over. thank you. in all his years working, no one had said thank you. no words of appreciation were ever dealt for doing his job. for doing something right.

unable to think of a reply, he walked back to his desk and sat down, the shock overwhelming him before he got his mind working again

although it took him double the time to go through the contracts than it did vincenzo or cha-young, he was never berated. there was never a comment about how slow he was, how he wasn't cut out for this, only appriciative glances and words when he did well

and when he didn't, they corrected him, gently. never maliciously, never taunting, always gentle.

and for the first time, he could breathe

the time passed by quickly as they both continued working in silence, han seo finishing up half a stack before the doorbell rang.

"i'll get it! ceo jang, can you set the table up?" cha-young looked toward as she went to grab the food from the delivery man

"yes, byeonosanim" he replied as he went to grab some disposable plates and wooden chopsticks from the cabinet

he set everything out just in time for the lawyer to set the food down. he squinted at the bowls she pulled out, the bright red liquid a stark contrast to the white containers.

"uh, byeonosanim, what is that?"

"hm? oh it's fire noodles. you don't mind spice do you, han seo?" she quirked her eyebrow at him, her voice sickly sweet

and he grinned at her and that was enough of an answer: it was showdown time.

so there he was, sitting across from cha-young, the container of red chili oil central to both of them. both of their suit coats were off, lest they start literally heating up.

oh, and if either of them reach for their water: they're out.

for about 10 seconds, they stared at each other, trying to psych each other out, before his phone timer counted down.

....3, 2, 1 and they were off!

both of them grabbed their chopsticks and spoons and ate two large bites and drank the broth before angling for one spoon full of chili oil into their noodles.

and on they went in this cycle, eating a bite and drinking broth, and pouring chili oil in after each cycle.

3 pours in, and they were still doing good, neither of them showing any signs of redness

6 pours in and his tongue was swollen, her eyes watery, their broth bright red

7 pours in and .... was it just him or was the room getting hotter?

8 and you could see the sweat dripping the lawyer's forehead, the sniffles of the lawyer getting louder and louder. meanwhile he was panting, trying to increase the circulation into his mouth

9 and their arms meet across the table, inches from the chili oil. their eyes lock, their faces bright red and the pain of his tongue unbearable

his eyes are squinted (from his eyes burning or from concentration, we'll never know) and the lawyer is making faces, trying to get him to give in

"it'll" *huff* "be easier" *huff* "if you give in now" *huff*

he laughed back, in response. "and let you win? no way. I'M getting that paper crown"

their eyes both glance at the flimsy, blue paper crown set upon it's carrier, a stack of contracts

she scoffed back (and almost choked) "absolutely not"

they stare each other down as they pour more in and go for another round

they swallow and in that second, cha-young made a fatal mistake

she breathed in the fumes. and coughed. and grabbed the water before she could think about it.

"AHAHA I WIN!!" he yelled out, the chair flying back as he jumped up, the layer of sweat easing up when he grabbed the bottle of water and chugged the whole thing down

the lawyer on the other hand, was slumped in the seat, taking the opportunity to also chug the water.

for around 10 seconds all they did was pant, getting their bodies back into a normal pace before cha-young spoke up

"fine i guess you win, have a great night!" she jabbered out quickly but he knew what she was trying to do

"nuh uh, nope, you're not getting out of this. we agreed! loser has to crown the winner." he grinned at her, his eyes completely closed as his happiness shone through

sighing, the lawyer grabbed the crown from it's holy pedastal and stomped over.

"tun ta da da !!! all hail king han seo, destroyer of spice, the unyielding one" she sang out, her voice deeper as traces of laughter tinted her voice

she placed the crown upon his name and bowed, "may he reign forever" and looked up and shot him a wink "at least, until i win next time"

he struck a superman pose, and puffed his chest out, before both of them crumbled into laughter, cha-young dramatic one ringing above his cackling

"we should do this again please, noona!" he wheezed out, his stomach hurting from laughter.

but it was only his ringing out, as hers cut out sharply.

"noona?"

he paused as his head whipped around to the lawyer, her head tilted as she looked at him

did i say that? i swear i called her byeonosanim... and he replayed the moment.

fuck.

"ah, i'm so sorry hong cha young byeonosanim, i overstepped, i apologize," he bowed in apology to her.

"do you call vincenzo byeonosanim hyung?"

"huh?" he looked up at her in confusion, "uh, yeah i do call him hyung. why?"

"you can call me noona then." she quipped back and for a second, he stared at her. wait what?

she clapped his back, and he choked on his spit, the clap knocking the air out of him "relax. you passed the test han-seo. i've always wanted a younger brother, you know? you can call me noona. as long as you remember your manners, that is," shooting him a wink

he glanced at her, before breaking out into the biggest grin, his gums peaking out.

"okay... cha-young noona!" he giggled, as they took their seats.

she grinned back, settling in.

"ah, you know noona, he said the same thing as you"

"huh?" she squinted back

"vin hyung! he said the same 'you better mind your manners'" han seo laughed as he mocked the korean-italian mafia's voice

"you know, that impression is spot on!" she laughed as he continued the voice, adding in the classic hand gestures, until both of them broke into laughter.

for some reason, both of them were instantly comfortable with one another.

for han seo, laughing with cha-young, trading insults and teasing felt warm, it felt like he'd found a best friend (a best friend who once upon a time he almost maimed by sending thugs after her, but she swore to him that all is forgiven) they had similar humor, similar tastes, similar personalities

for cha-young, he felt like a partner in crime. not like the way vincenzo her partner in life in crime, but in the way that they were both pranksters, both with similar personalities and bright humor

it felt like finding a sibling, a person to commit crimes with, a person to clown together with

"you know, noona, is vin hyung..." he paused mid-sentence, contemplating if he could ask this.

"go on, han seo" cha-young encouraged him, one hand bringing the bottle of water to her mouth

"is he your boyfriend?" he rushed out the words and—

he was sprayed in the face.

cha-young was sputtering as the water dripped off his face, and his eyes shut as he wiped off the excess

"yah, why would you even ask that?" she scoffed out refusing to meet his eyes, but he could see the red tint creeping up on her neck and her cheeks

he shot her a look.

"yeah, yeah okay. he and i are... partners"

"oh." he quipped back, a sinister smile slowly spreading across his face

"no, no, no" she shook her at him, "i do not have a crush on him"

he raised an eyebrow back "who said anything about a crush hm, noona?"

she froze and he knew he'd have next weeks entertainment sorted

"you know maybe i'll take back that younger brother thing if this is how it's like" she taunted, but he didn't feel any hurt. instead her teasing just made his heart soar, her teasing somehow a comfort

"oh, we're just getting started!" he quipped back, as they cleaned up for the night, continuing their conversation as they restored the firm back to order.

"i've noticed you going to the pawnshop a lot recently" she noted, as she grabbed a stack of contracts to put back into the filing cabinet

"ahh, yeah i've been helping them out. they're having a baby you know and it must be hard on both of them to run the shop" he responded as he stacked another set of contracts together, clearing Mr. Nam's desk

"you should do it."

"what?"

"study electronics. or at least continue working for the pawnshop."

he stared at her.

how did she know? for someone so bright and busy he didn't expect her to be so observant to him.

"oh please, like it's hard to notice. i've seen the way you always seem to be happier as you pass by the pawnshop. when i popped in during lunch, i saw you, hunched over the tablet. it's the happiest i've seen you look."

"oh." he grew quiet "it's a little too late, don't you think noona? for me to even consider that? i'd be a little foolish to follow that"

she sighed and turned to him, grabbing the stack from his arms. "let me tell you a story han seo. i'm 34 years old and a lawyer and don't get me wrong, i love doing this. but when i was little my dream was always to sing. but for years, i pushed it back, thinking i could never do it."

she stuffed the papers to the back corner, somehow managing to stuff it in and turned back to him.

"so, noona? did you do it?"

"patience. a couple weeks after my final exam for law school, i said why the hell not. and now i've been taking lessons one and off for years!"

"you should give a demo!! sing for us"

"oh, please i couldn't possibly do it" she tucked her hair back, looking bashful.

"ple-" he barely got the words out.

"oh of course, if you insist!" she grabbed the empty water bottle and climbed on her stool, the makeshift stage for the night

"noona! noona!!" han seo cheered her on as she stood up. she cleared her throat, moving her head to the side and warming up

and she opened her mouth.

and sang.

if you could call that singing.

what came out was more of a series of tone-deaf screeches, making him wince but mask his face with a smile, trying to solider through the pain.

he clapped as SOON as she finished the last note, his ears grateful for the break. she took a flourished bow as she jumped off the stool

"how was it?"

"noona, that was amazing!" he lied, trying his best to stop the ringing in his ears.

she smacked him with her water bottle "yah! you liar! i'm god awful" she made one of her classic faces.

"you know??? and you made me endure that???" he touched his ears. he expected to see blood but luckily the damage wasn't too bad

"YAH!" she smacked him again. "you brat, the point isn't that i'm good or not."

"then what is?" his eyebrows furrowed as he looked in confusion.

if you're not good at it then what really is the point? why should i keep trying?

"the point is that i'm happy. it doesn't matter how good you are at something for you to consider it an interest, as long as it makes you happy."

he paused. no one had ever said that before. to do what makes him happy. not what made his father or his brother happy. everyone's advice all his life was to stick to what you're good at and that there isn't a point in trying if you aren't good from the beginning.

"look i'm terrible at singing. but i know that if i had never pursued it, i would have grown old and regretted it. so what if i am bad! at least i got to do it while i'm alive! give electronics a shot, han seo."

han seo bit his lip slightly. and he nodded.

he was going to give it a shot.

"good! now lets get this cleaned up and go home!" she sashayed off to her desk, grabbing the last of her stuff before they left the firm.

the next week, when vincenzo was back from italy, he had expected to find the firm just like he left it. what he didn't expect was his girlfriend wife partner and brother han seo, one sprawled on the couch and the other on the floor, piles of blankets and what looked like a mic and SEVERAL bottles of sujo scattered across the table.

they were both in matching pajama sets, and snoring very loudly. he shuffled over to his desk where a note that looked like it was written in crayon was left

and it said

"dear vin hyung: noona and i were having a sleepover last night. i made sure she was extra safe and did not do anything overly amitious (like call you in the middle of the night to ask you if you had to leave) if you are seeing the mess that we probably made, please excuse it. i will clean it up as soon as i can. grazie!

p.s. you should ask noona out sometime, i have it in good word that she might be interested ;)

to be continued...

a/n: let this be a fic reminding you that if you are passionate about something, pursue it! our world conditions us to believe that you have to be good at something in order to be able to do it but that's absolute bs. please give your younger and future selves a chance by taking up something you've always wanted to do <3

#mine #vincenzo #vincenzo cassano #chayenzo #hong cha young #song joong ki #tvn vincenzo #jeon yeo been #vincenzo x cha young #han seo supramacy #jang han seo #canon divergence #kwak dong yeon #jang han seok #ok taecyeon

[elia-de-silentio]

Who is writing Gogol's Book?

Okay, a lot of people talked about Gogol and the philosophy he exposes in his introductory chapter, but how comes that I've found nobody talking about this?!

I mean ... it's an huge middle finger to his ideals, right as he exposes them. Here he is, talking about free will and feelings of being in a cage, and here is someone else who is literally writing down the things he gets to say. His character profile lists brainwashing and subordination as his dislikes, and here, his final act of free will is in subordination to what another dictates.

Now, this begs the question: who the hell is the shadowy figure?

Well, I've got two theories on that:

• Fyodor

• Kafka Asagiri

I'll focus on the second theory first, because it's non shippy very very meta. In this sense, Gogol never had one ounce of free will: he's literally a character, created by an author for a manga. Everything, his looks, his personality, his actions and words are decided by someone else of whom he has no awareness. Characters in stories are the epythome of determinism. With the whole series being based on reflections around writers and their stories, this would be rather fitting, even if a bit of a non-sequitur.

Now, on to the juicy theory! Which has also strong support from canon. First of all, as our great translators (dazaiscans) point out, this writer is using an imperfect japanese, conveyed via katakana, a form generally used to indicate foreign words.

Fyodor is a foreigner and, if the omakes are to be considered canon, still learning Japanese.

Moreover, this scenes seem to indicate that this is the writing of the famous page which brought countless pains to the Armed Detective Agency, the moment in which the previously unnamed assistants of Gogol remove their hoods and suddenly our heroes find themselves in their position, despite having been outside trying to stop the massacre until a moment before.

And we have confirmation that it was Fyodor who wrote that page. So, all the hints are towards the Shadowy Figure being him.

But we have also been told that only a few lines can fit on the lone Page; so why 'waste' some of them to write Gogol's exact speech? And if that was written by Fyodor, what else did he write?

Well ... he himself said that he didn't create the perfect plan his colleagues required, because that would have been boring. But he's thinking that after activating his plan to assassinate Fitzgerald - which was foiled by Dazai, but it was supposed to work, as Fyodor is actually surprised to see Dazai there and probably didn't expect his intervention. So ... where does the 'imperfect plan' come in?

First of all, there is the line he added about 'all police forces will not believe the ADA's innocence', which is foiled by Tachihara playing both sides ... and there is a very distinct possibility that Fyodor knew this would have happened, as he was aware of the identity of the Fifth Hunting Dog (he taunted Dazai with it). I have already theorized that this was a way to undermine Fukuchi's plan to get him out of the way and become the one to put his hands on the Book; but maybe this wasn't the only flaw he put in the plan?

And he was taking a great care in writing Gogol's death. According to Sigma, in the original plan he was supposed to truly die, to erase any evidence of the true culprit from the scene. But Gogol survived, appearently due to a sudden idea of him ... but well, isn't it strange that someone like Fyodor, so good at foreseeing other people's actions, didn't think of it and put a failsafe in the page he was redacting?

Is it possible that Gogol's escape was put on the page, or that the writing on it stopped conveniently at some point that would allow the clown an escape?

But if this is the case, why would he have done this?

Ship.

Hah, I (and every Fyogol shipper with me) wish! But alas, knowing the characters, it was probably something other than pure care for the other. Personally, I suspect that Gogol is supposed to be his own method of escaping jail. Of course, insofar it has been a safe refuge, but he's got to get out sooner or later if he wants to use the Book. And he thought that Gogol, who has a teleportation Ability, would be the right person for that. As for 'why does he think Gogol would do that' ... I don't know. Maybe he has an inkling about the clown's feelings of murderous friendship towards him, but thinks he can take him on with his Ability?

Of course, this is the purely logical way to look at this possibility - the one that, should this theory be proven correct, will likely held true ... but I still have a tiny bit of hope that, maybe subconsciously, part of the reason Fyodor let Gogol live was that he cared about him.

Still, given how much he hates brainwashing and subordination, I really don't think Gogol would appreciate that if he were to find out - especially from 'the only one who understands him'.

Anyways, this insofar is only in the realm of speculation. The only thing certain about what Fyodor did with that page, is that he doodled on it (those who have seen his real life conterpart's manuscripts know).

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd meta #bsd theory #bsd fyodor #bsd gogol #elia's recaps

[xaphrin]

I have no title for this except “Steampunk AU that I have no business writing”. 

- - - - - - - -

The Lazarus clockwork heart that kept him alive beat casually, as though it wanted to spite the rest of his body. As if to say: you may feel these emotions, but I control your primary functions and I will keep you from going into cardiac arrest… over a girl.   

With a click of his tongue, Damian Wayne kicked his feet out in front of him and stared at the dancers on the stage from the security of his private booth. They all wore royal blue, mid-grade satin frocks that were pinned far too high up the thigh, exposing a beautiful range of skin. His lips twitched and he took a sip of his drink, mulling his thoughts over. In all the years he had been alive, he had never thought that he would be enthralled by a flash of skin, but clearly he was going to be proven wrong often tonight. 

With a quiet curse, he ran a thumb along the sharp edge of his jaw, watching a mixture of magic and technology create a show that was wild enough to entrance even the harshest of critics - which he usually was. That was not the type of place he cared to visit, too much frivolity and carefree. People drank too much, were too loose with their affections. It was a church of sin, coated in brightly colored glass and free-flowing sparkling wine. And yet… everything felt drenched in color, sparkling with light and wonder. It pulled him deeper and deeper into a siren song, and even Damian felt like he could fall into the dark promises whispered between the bright, uplifting notes of the music. 

Hm. Shadow and light, what a fitting allegory.

With a smirk, he adjusted himself in his seat again, crossing his ankles in front of him. He continued to watch the spectacle before him, intricate dance numbers that were both prudish and risque at the same time. They were each a woman you could bring home to mother, but knew her way around the bedroom when the lights were low and the doors were closed. No wonder these shows were so popular with people of all sets. 

Damian watched as the central dancer performed some kind of magic trick, making it look like sleight-of-hand, but it was true magic. A rare feat. Clearly, she was a sorceress of some skill, at least based on his precursory assessment. Her eyes flashed deep blue and her hair held a tinge of deep plum that cast a thousand shades of blue and purple around her in a halo. She must have also been a skilled empath, and she would be perfect for his job. 

Now… to convince her to join him. That was the rub. Word was that Mistress Raven was impossible to bargain with. And he wasn’t even sure the Wayne name could entice her to agree. 

Damian steepled his fingers against his lips, watching as she moved onto a set piece that flew out over the audience. She twisted and danced without so much as a harness, raining down a shower of black spark over the entranced eyes below her. With a surprising bite of jealousy, Damian wondered how much of a show they were really getting. Were they able to see the intricate lace of her undergarments? Or was she completely bare under the fabric? His curiosity was a sinful thing.  

His clockwork heart ticked along, oblivious to his feelings. Damnable thing.

He finished his drink and waited until the curtain fell and the stage clowns came on, giving the dancers a reprieve and a few hasty minutes to change costumes before the next number. Standing up, Damian straightened his jacket and adjusted with his cufflinks. After a few moments, the door to his box opened and Raven was ushered inside, still wearing the black and blue costume from the stage. 

Her wide eyes caught his own, and for a flash of a moment, he could see a curious kind of wonder on her face.

All the hells. 

She was stunning. Swinging over the crowd below she had been beautiful and fascinating, like a bird flying in the sky. And yet up close? With magicked gaslight casting a gentle glow over her pale skin? A work of art. 

Raven seemed to gather her wits and she let go of a quiet hum. “You know… it’s not everyday I get an invitation to share a drink with a Wayne.” Her voice was like smoke, dark and dangerous, blocking every good sense from his mind. 

Damian allowed his gaze to sweep over her before falling to the flash of pale thigh peeking out from the folds of satin she wore. For the briefest of moments, he had the strongest desire to bite them. To mark her as his, and then bury himself in her secrets and taste her. Dangerous. She was a temptation he couldn’t even chance. One taste and he’d be lost to her for a very, very long time. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and he lifted his eyes back to her face. 

Raven took a deep breath and let it out slowly, her lips twitching in annoyance. “The merchandise isn’t for sale, Mister Wayne. I assure you, you’re not the first man to try and purchase what he cannot have.”

“Damian.” He corrected, his voice low in a warning of his own. “And I wasn’t perusing the… merchandise, as you so eloquently put it.” 

Raven lifted an eyebrow and crossed her arms under her chest, a hip cocking to the side. There was a rustle of fabric and she watched him for a long moment before responding. “Then what, pray tell, are you asking of me in the middle of a busy Saturday night? I have high-powered guests to entertain, you know.”

He fought the urge to grin and grimace at the same time. What a little chit. He almost liked her. “A Wayne isn’t considered high-powered enough to hold your attention, Mistress Raven?”

“You walk in the light-”

Damian resisted the urge to give her an indelicate snort. If she only knew what he did at night. 

“-I am used by this establishment to entertain a… different sort of power.” 

He watched her carefully, studying every twitch on her face. “You talk about yourself like you’re a pawn in someone else’s game.” 

A pale flush darkened her cheeks, and she looked away for a fraction of a second. “I’ve never had the luxury of holding my own pieces, Mister Wayne.” She cleared her throat and looked back at him, her face returning to a steel mask. “I’ll ask again, since you seem to have forgotten. What am I doing here?”

There was no point in dragging out this game of wits any longer. Damian gave a slight nod, tilting his face towards hers. “As it so happens, I’m in need of a skilled sorceress, and I hear you’re one of the best…” He paused and glanced out at the stage, frowning. “Even if your talents are wasted on a few paltry tricks.” 

“Is that so?” Her lips twitched again, and he watched anger fill the shadows in her eyes. “By all means, continue to insult me and I’ll show you what my paltry tricks can do.” 

Damian regarded the magic gathering at her fingertips, and he let a thin smile curl the edges of his lips. With another slow nod, he sat back down in his chair and motioned to the empty one across from him. Raven refused to sit for a long moment, but Damian didn’t look away from her, waiting until she finally sunk into the plush cushion. He watched as she adjusted herself to sit primly, but that damnable slit in the fabric kept exposing the pale expanse of her thigh.  

“Tell me, Raven.” He hummed, steepling his fingers as he continued to search her. “What do you know of the Magician Zatanna and her lover, John Constantine?” 

Her eyebrows lifted before knitting together, as if trying to piece together his question. “Only that the press keeps telling us that they’re on ‘a holiday’, which I know is code for them being missing. She canceled her last two performances, no holiday would dictate that loss of revenue.” 

Damian’s clockwork heart continued to click along, unaware of the excitement spilling into his veins. He bit the inside of his cheeks to keep from smiling. Clever girl. Yes, Raven would be the perfect fit for this mission. Now, all he had to do was convince her to agree… which was certainly easier said than done. 

Damian pulled the cord next to him, alerting help outside the door. “Let me buy you a drink. We may be here a while.”

Raven hummed, but leaned back in the chair, obviously intrigued with whatever game he was playing at. “Whiskey. Neat.” 

A smile finally broke across his lips. “Of course.”

#damirae #demonbirds #steampunk au #this is what happens when Xaph lets her electro swing playlist just go

[artificialqueens]

Backyard Boy (Gottrosenali) - Pinkgrapefruit

a/n -

special thanks to the druk discord for both their help with gottrosenali as a whole and the enby central station for their invaluable help in my portrayal of a trans character. also thanks to frey for her infinite wisdom when it comes to grammar.

i really hope you like it so please let me know how you feel!!!

*

Dance with me in my backyard, boy

Looking super fine in your corduroy

Drive me ‘round the block

We can go in a loop

And we’ll turn the volume up on some

Good boy band tunes

*

Mik leans forward, head bumping against one of the front seats as he attempts to grab Denali’s phone from the cup holder. She doesn’t notice, too focused on navigating towards the Mcdonald’s, but Rosé does, and she slaps his hand like a small child.

“I love you baby boy, but I’d rather Nali drive us into a wall before I let you play Gaga one more time.” She sounds grumpy, but Mik can search out the soft undertone and he rubs a thumb over her hand before he leans back. He sighs in relief, twisting a little to try and release some of the pressure from his binder before he sits back.

“God, someone needs to get some food into you,” he jokes and he watches as Denali places her hand on Rosé’s thigh - the pink-haired girl has always been the worst for being hangry.

It’s their lunch break, and they’ve escaped into town to get a McDonald’s before they have to sit through another hour of school. There isn’t a lesson they share between the three of them, so they relish in this time together.

“Drive-thru or eat in?” Denali calls out, her volume always a little too loud for the tiny Volkswagen she drives.

“Uh,” Mik replies, “I’m paying and I need a wee, so I reckon we go inside and then eat in the car.”

Rosé grunts, and he sees Denali’s thumb slide over her tights before she sighs. “You know I hate it when we eat in here,” she moans, but then she catches his eye and rolls her own. “But sure.”

Mik pumps his fist in triumph and, once they’re parked up, makes sure to give Denali a quick peck on the forehead before intertwining his fingers with Rosé’s. Denali wipes the Carmex off her forehead with an affectionate scowl, patting his ass in return before skipping ahead to open the door.

“My loves,” she bows her head, waving her hand in a comically large gesture that makes even Rosé crack a smile.

“Chivalry ain’t dead. He hears her mutter under her breath, and he laughs in response, loving the way her eyes brighten up when he does.

He orders for them, Rosé in too much of a grump to avoid yelling at the poor cashiers, and Nali with just a little too much anxiety. He notes down the orders on his phone like a good boyfriend and then relays them perfectly, adding on a bag of mozzarella sticks because he knows Rosé will try and steal his.

"Ladies,” he bows as he holds out the brown paper bag, and Rosé loops a hand through his arm. He loves it when she allows herself to be clingy, and Denali does too, so they let her whenever she feels it - even if it means having to guide a dead weight back to the car.

She sighs and flutters her eyes open when she’s back into the passenger seat before snorting a chuckle that makes Denali do a double-take from the fries she’d been devouring.

She points hazily at the paper bag. “Mik-Donalds-” she jokes.

“Fuck,” Mik says, leaning forward again from the back seat to drop a peck on Rosé’s cheek. “God, I love you.”

Denali places a palm on his cheek while he’s still leaning forward. “Same,” she sighs. “Same.

*

I can feel the fresh air

I can feel your eyes stare

And I’m not gonna lie

I get a little bit scared

My heart is on wings

I’m living in dreams

And at the top of our lungs, we sing

*

He lets his back hit the locker with a clang, double-checking the number because even after a year and a bit of dating he’s still never quite sure which locker belongs to Rosé. Luckily, he’s proven to be correct when Denali skips over to him, slipping her hand into his and leaning her head on his arm with a deep sigh.

"Spanish not doing it for you?” he jokes, tilting his head so it rests on top of hers, watching the rest of the students trail out of the class.

“Not last period,” she sighs, rubbing her temple with her index finger. “I’m getting a headache I swear.” She angles her head to check Mik’s watch and clicks her tongue. “Where’s Rosie,” she whines, much to Mik’s amusement.

“Rehearsals will be running late,” he tells her, enjoying the way she’s curling further into his side as the bell chimes loudly above them.

She harrumphs, mewling even more as he pulls away from her side, placing his rucksack on the ground and rummaging around for the painkillers he tends to keep. He finds them, and hands them to her alongside a bottle of water that she grasps quickly, swallowing the pills with a happy sigh. When he stands, he lets her fall back under his arm and he traces patterns on her back, muttering about his senior textiles project while she butts in with questions.

As the 3:15 bell chimes, they watch the last dregs of students trail out of the door, and Mik starts to suck at his teeth in frustration. He knows he’s done the same thing when engrossed in a project, eyes only focusing on the way the needle goes through the fabric, but he can’t bring himself not to be irritated when Rosé hasn’t even texted.

“Ah, the prophetic daughter returns,” Denali mocks from in his shirt, pulling him out of his thoughts and making him turn towards the theatre department where Rosé is jogging casually down the hall.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she calls, sliding slightly as her worn converse lack grip on school linoleum. She comes to a halt, hands on his bare arms, lips pressed against his cheek in a chaste peck. She does the same to Denali in apology, and although the girl still looks grumpy, there’s a flicker of warmth in her eyes.

“You’re driving home,” she says bluntly, handing over her keys with a scowl before turning to the door, and Rosé looks at Mik questioningly.

“Headache,” he tells her, and she nods knowingly.

“Migraine?”

“Not yet.” She sighs, shaking the keys in her hand to elicit a pleasant jingle, but Mik notices how it makes Denali wince. “Soon,” he amends before jogging to catch up to her - knowing the sun will do little to improve her mood.

“Sleepover it is,” Rosé sighs to herself, unlocking the car from a distance and watching as he helps Denali into the passenger seat - all too aware that the last time she was in the backseat with a migraine, it went terribly. She smiles, she’s not sure how she got so lucky.

*

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Everything is perfect

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

All our words were worth it

*

Mik’s been going to the gym to cope wth his dysphoria, and it shows in the way his shoulders are getting broader and his muscles more defined. An extra bonus is the way it means he can cradle Denali in his arms, carrying her easily up the stairs. He lets her rest her head in the crook of his neck and relents when she tries to get him into bed with her, curling around her and sending Rosé off to search for Denali’s rescue meds.

She brings a glass of water and a sticky cold patch with her, which she applies gently to Denali’s forehead, coaxing a whimper out of her. They get her to swallow the pill, and then Rosé closes the curtains, padding around quietly before sliding into the bed next to them both.

Neither quite know what they would do if Denali’s migraines made her sensitive to touch as well as light and sound (they’re all too affectionate to try and withhold touch), but they’ve lived through enough of them that they know that with a dose of medication and a few hours in the dark she tends to be good as new.

They’re right, though the attack does relegate them to ordering pizza and eating it in Rosé’s ridiculously large bed (or at least this is the excuse they use on her mum when she looks at them disapprovingly).

Denali presses a kiss to Rosé’s bare shoulder and the pink-haired girl rolls over, placing a hand next to each of her shoulders and hovering above Denali with a wicked grin until Mik pokes his finger into her side and she collapses. Denali lets out a yelp, but she’s giggling while Rosé curses them both for ruining her moment.

“No funny business while Nali’s drugged up,” Mik reminds her gently - a rule they had to put into place after they made the side effects of her meds ten times worse due to some rougher activities.

It’s a situation that they’re not particularly willing to repeat.

Rosé rolls over Denali again until she’s in between them, sighing contentedly when Mik rests his head on her chest. “Movie?” she asks quietly.

“Disney!” Denali suggests, before wincing ever so slightly at the pitch of her own voice. She runs a hand through Mik’s hair and then places her head on Rosé’s other shoulder.

“I’m down for that,” Mik agrees.

“UP?”

“That’s Pixar, god, Rosie, know your animated films.”

“Potato, Potato,” Rosé replies, clicking on the title on Disney+ before tossing the remote to the side.

They don’t mention Rosé crying when Ellie dies.

They fall asleep to the end credits.

*

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Dancing around like a clown at the circus

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Backyard boy, you make me nervous

*

Mik wakes up to aching in his lower abdomen and it sends a shiver of fear down his spine. His boxers feel slightly damp, and he’s grateful that he fell asleep with his head on Rosé’s chest.

He flips the soft comforter over so he can see the sheets, and the sight of the blood makes him more nauseous than his cramps. He weighs his options for a second before gently stroking Denali’s cheek with a sigh.

“Baby,” he says with a quick glance at Rosé’s lit up alarm clock. It’s four am. “Uh, Nali.” Denali lifts her head from Rosé’s shoulder and blinks her eyes expectantly. They’re bleary and she lifts a hand to rub at them before she properly focuses on Mik.

In the dim room, she can see the dark patch on the white bottom sheet and she gently palms his face.

“Let’s get you cleaned up love,” she says with an apologetic smile. He nods and watches as she rolls out of the wide double and swiftly locates the pair of period pants he keeps in a hidden pocket of his duffle. She looks between them and a tampon before tossing the tampon onto Rosé’s desk and then hands them to Mik, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. “Go on, love.” She nods towards the bathroom and he smiles weakly, watching her shake Rosé awake with a gentle hand.

When he gets back, the bedside lamps are on and Rosé is stripping the bed, tossing the spoiled sheets into a pile on the floor. When he looks around for Denali, she stops and walks over to him, palming his chest over his t-shirt and snuggling into him the best she can with the small height difference.

“She’s gone to get the Nurofen and a hot water bottle,” she tells him - voice hoarse from sleep.

“I’m sorry-” Mik starts to say, but Rosé cuts him off with a steady hand on the side of his head.

“You don’t have to apologise for anything Gottlieb,” she asserts firmly. “It’s a natural thing that happens to bodies and you wouldn’t let me or Nali say shit if it were us-”

She looks sternly.

“-would you?” He nods in acquiescence and jumps a little when he feels a warm hand on his upper arm. He smells the coconut shampoo of Nali’s hair before he sees her.

“You wouldn’t let Rosie apologise when she bled on your favourite hoodie,” reminds Denali softly, handing him two tablets and a small tumbler of water before exchanging them for a hot water bottle. He sighs when he tucks it into his abdomen, and they make him sit at Rosé’s desk while they bustle around sorting out new bedsheets.

Rosé’s mum pops her head round the door at one point, causing Mik to flush red, though Denali waves her off. “Don’t worry about this, Mrs McCorkel.” She smiles wearily. “Periods.” She shrugs, and Rosé’s mum laughs, shutting the door with a low thud.

They all crawl back into bed, Rosé insisting on spooning him from behind while he holds Denali close. She presses her lips to the back of his neck, and he can feel her smile into the skin.

“You’re my favourite man, handsome,” she states, warmth in her voice. “I love you.”

He buries his face into Denali’s hair and lets the warmness lull him back to sleep.

*

Dance with me in my backyard, boy

Looking super fine in your corduroy (five, six, seven, eight)

Roll the windows down

Let the base drop low

And everybody’s talking

But I don’t wanna know

*

Denali yelps, pulling back from where she’d been straddling Mik in such a way that makes them both fall off the window seat and tumble onto the floor. Rosé looks over at them and scowls, a highlighter in her hand. She makes an obscene gesture with it and then sets it down.

“Can you two be horndogs literally anywhere else,” she asks, exasperated, and they both fall into giggles.

“I’m sorry!” Denali squeals as Mik runs a hand down her side. “Your boyfriend just gave me carpet burn from his damn moustache.”

Mik looks up, somewhere between awestruck and dazed.

“Maybe it’s retaliation for you giving me rug burn,” Rosé quips with a wink before looking at their boyfriend, who’s doing a perfect meerkat expression. Before she can blink, he’s on his feet and running towards the bathroom, where they hear a sharp squeak of excitement.

She holds a hand out to Denali who pulls her out of her chair, and they let their interlocked fingers swing together as they wander over to follow him.

In the middle of the counter, next to three empty vials of testosterone, is Mik. His eyes wide and unblinking, fingers stretching the skin of his upper lip so he can pinpoint a single pale brown hair.

Denali places a featherlight kiss on his exposed shoulder and then reaches to touch it, pulling back in mock anguish.

“Ouch!” she shouts, and Rosé stifles a giggle at her antics, rubbing a hand on Mik’s back to try and gauge how he’s feeling. He sighs into the touch and his shoulders relax a bit.

“That’s one special little dude you’ve got there, bubs,” she tells him with a look of pride on her face. “I think it needs a name.”

Denali looks at her and shakes her head, but Mik is already nodding slowly. “Jeremy,” he says, voice full of conviction.

“We’re not naming his face pube,” Denali fights back, hoisting herself up onto the counter so she can look closer. She ruffles his hair with her fingers and he swats her away.

“Two against one, love,” Rosé points out. “Jeremy the destroyer.”

She leans up and kisses his top lip. “There is now a fourth in this relationship,” she announces smugly, raising an eyebrow at Denali, who holds her hands up. Mik looks between the two of them in amusement.

“I’m not going to kiss the face pube-”

“He has a name,” Rosé cuts her off with a grin.

“I’m not going to kiss Jeremy the destroyer,” Denali responds petulantly, throwing a slightly damp flannel at her from beside the sink.

“Do you not support your boyfriend?” Rosé catches it and tries to throw it back, but Mik grabs it out of the air, holding onto it so he doesn’t get one in the face.

“Rosie McCorkel, you little bitch.”

Mik watches them, dismayed, but incredibly entertained. “Fucking lesbians,” he mutters under his breath, still smiling.

*

Feel the fresh air

I can feel your eyes stare

And I’m not gonna lie

I get a little bit scared

And my heart is on wings

I’m living in dreams

And at the top of our lungs, we sing

*

Denali smiles at him as she slips out of the glass door, wincing a little as her bare feet touch the sun-bleached patio stones. He feels Rosé flick some water at him from her place in the pool, but he flips her off, beckoning to Denali, who does an awkward little hop-scotch across the hot yard until she can slide down next to him on the sun-lounger.

He places a gentle hand on her exposed hip, but she clicks her tongue at him. “Mikkk,” she whines, and he places a kiss on her temple before he slides off the sun lounger and moves down to sit on the edge of the pool.

It’s such a hot day that even the lukewarm water on his legs feels like an ice bath, and he desperately wants to take his baggy shirt off, but the idea of sitting outdoors in a sports bra makes him squirm a little. Rosé’s neighbours could see.

She seems to catch his discomfort and she swims up to him, placing one hand on each of his thighs to hold herself up in the water.

“You’re so short,” he teases gently, but she just hoists herself up, straining her neck to place a wet kiss on his chin. She snorts into it and falls backwards, flailing in the water so he gets covered in a fine spray.

“You need to calm down,” he tells her, hearing Denali chuckle in the background.

“Come and make me,” Rosé replies as she swims further away. She tries to shake her ass at him - skimpy pink bikini bottoms pulled high up onto her hips - but she falls forward, head going under the water again.

“Did she ever learn to swim?” Denali asks between loud slurps of ice-cold lemonade, the book she was reading in the shade long forgotten.

“I really couldn’t tell you.”

He turns back to the pool and sees Rosé sitting on one of the bottom steps, hair ties in hand as she tries to braid her thick, pink hair - her fingers fumbling in an attempt that can only be deemed pitiful. He sighs, moving to sit behind her so his swimming trunks are completely submerged. She leans back into him gratefully, and he takes the hair bobbles willingly, weaving her two french braids.

He’s about to move after he finishes when he hears wet footsteps.

“Don’t run, love!” calls Rosé, paddling next to Mik so she’s leaning on the edge of the pool. Denali just scoffs, skidding on the water until she can dive straight into the deep end of the pool. He winces as she does it, hand reaching out to grip Rosé’s, but they both know that her ice-skater balance will save her. She does a messy front stroke over to her partners, her costume glittering in all of its tacky-mermaid glory.

Denali slides between his legs and tips her head back for a kiss, pouting until he gives her a chaste kiss, and then indulging Rosé, who scrunches her nose at the momentary lack of affection.

Mik sighs, pulling Denali’s long hair out of the messy bun it’s in and separating it into two. “Thank you, Mik, we love you, Mik, you’re the best boyfriend ever, Mik,” he moans, letting his fingers slide through her hair like silk.

Rosé tries to hide her laughter in a cough.

It doesn’t work.

*

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Everything is perfect

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

All our words were worth it

*

The euphoria he feels with a pride flag wrapped around his shoulders, billowing behind him like a cape, is unreal. He feels like he could fly if he wasn’t holding hands with Denali, who’s keeping him firmly grounded, and he’s making sure she doesn’t run off and get lost while Rosé has gone to find drinks.

Luckily, they see her before she sees them - Mik is a full head taller than Denali in his platform combat boots and can just about see over the crowd, so he spots the glitter down Rosé’s parting. She’s carrying three plastic cups with straws, and she’s trailed by a sapphic pride flag that’s looped through her belt loops, so it surrounds her denim cut-offs like a skirt.

They’d had a long conversation about the flag - she and Mik sat on the porch with coffee in hand. She’d bought it before they got together and she’s right when she says it looks pretty with her hair - the shades of pink all muddling together until she looks like a ball of cotton candy. He’d smiled and taken her hand in his, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to her hair that still smelled of sleep and Denali’s perfume.

“I know you think of me as a man,” he’d said, feeling her squeeze his hand in acknowledgement, “and I know you like women.”

“I just don’t want you to feel left out,” she’d said, poking her tongue into her coffee to check its temperature before taking a long sip. Denali padded out onto the porch, bare feet on the wooden slats. She was wrapped in a tartan blanket and she sat down next to Mik with a huff, laying her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes.

“I’ll survive not being the centre of your attention babe,” he’d joked. And that had been it.

It was the right thing to say because she looks radiant in the sun, and he takes the cold peach lemonade gratefully, handing off Nali-watch to Rosé as he adjusts his trans flag in a shop window.

He re-ties Denali’s bi flag while he’s at it, looping it through the straps of her dungarees so it won’t come loose in the crowd. She turns around and smiles gratefully, placing a soft hand on his barely-there stubble.

Rosé called them disgusting when she first saw them this morning, side by side in their matching crop tops and dungaree shorts. He’s got his own over a nude binder, and it’s the closest he’s ever felt to being shirtless, even with the way his chest is sweating in the summer heat. He knows Rosé’s rucksack has a spare top and bra for him - it’s a part of the reason why he loves her.

“All good?” Rosé asks, adjusting one of the pins in Denali’s flower crown (pink, blue and white) out of habit. She presses a quick kiss to the tip of Denali’s nose and then checks her braids in the shop window too.

“Am I still on Nali-watch?” Mik asks, half-joking and offering his arm for her to take, to which Denali laughs and waves her hand.

“I can get places myself, guys,” she giggles.

“You absolutely cannot,” Mik tells her, raking his hand through his sweaty curls.

“Not if we wanna get there on time,” chimes in Rosé, taking Denali’s hand and swinging it between them. “Now, come on!”

*

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Dancing around like a clown at the circus

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

*

“We have a present for you,” Denali tells him, watching him comb hair gel through his curls in an attempt to tame them before he puts his graduation cap on. He smiles, watching her in the mirror as she curls the back of Rosé’s hair with deft fingers. Rosé flicks her eyes up from the eyeshadow palette she’s looking at, a small smirk playing on her lips, and she goes to say something, but then she stops herself.

“Well, now I’m excited,” he tells them, placing his tie loosely around his neck and leaning back against the countertop, watching them adoringly.

It’s moments like this that he just can’t believe his luck - how he’s got two beautiful women to call his own. Denali is a vision in lilac - a fitted bodice moving into a flared skirt that reminds him of the skating videos her mum showed him at Christmas. Her newly bleached hair is in a braid over her shoulder, and the loose baby hairs that just won’t submit to hair spray make him want to tuck them gently behind her ear.

Rosé resolutely told them she wanted them to die for her, and she’s really trying in a pink, bardot dress that shows too much cleavage to be appropriate for graduation. He supposes she wants to go out with a bang, and he’s not complaining, but he might need a moment before they leave just to collect himself.

“You look flustered,” smirks Rosé with one eyebrow quirked. It pulls him out of his throughs, and he flushes a darker shade of red at the comment.

“Stop teasing him,” Denali tells her, moving to put on some lip gloss before he can steal one last kiss. “I wanna get onto the surprise.”

“Impatient baby,” Mik jokes to get the heat off himself, and she bats a blush brush at him. He’s about to respond when Rosé places a hand on his cheek, guiding his body around so she can fasten his navy blue tie.

“Be good,” she tells him with a tap on the nose. “Now stay here for a second.”

He waits quietly in the bathroom while his girlfriends hurry off, coming back after a few minutes with an envelope and a tentative look on both of their faces. Denali hangs back, leaning against the doorframe with a crinkled nose while Rosé moves forward and holds out the envelope. She waves it at him and he takes it, feeling its weight in his hands. It’s light, but there’s something about it. He can’t figure out what it is.

He shoves a makeup brush under the seal and rips it across, drawing a snigger out of Denali, and Rosé rolls her eyes at them, holding out her hand for her makeup brush because she doesn’t trust him with it.

He holds it out of apprehension and he hears someone click their tongue at him with impatience.

Slowly, Mik pulls out a single sheet of paper and his breath hitches.

“No,” he exhales, feeling his tailbone hit the edge of the countertop in a way he knows will hurt later. He blinks a couple of times and the envelope falls out of his hands, grabbed by Denali who swoops in, placing a warm palm on his upper arm.

“Yes,” replies Rosé, a smile in her voice.

It’s a GoFundMe receipt printed on flimsy copy paper totalling just over $5000. He doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“The whole year pitched in - the school really,” Denali murmurs, her hand on him a grounding presence that keeps him tethered to this reality.

“I don’t know what to say.” He’s being totally honest, voice shaking under the weight of his emotions. It’s everything he’s ever wanted and he’d resigned himself to another four or five years without that. “It’s freedom.”

“You deserve it, love,” Rosé tells him, her smile softer than he’s seen in a while - softer than she tends to go without Denali pouting at her.

Denali reaches up and swipes the pad of her thumb under his eye to catch the tears he didn’t know were falling before straightening his tie and placing a firm hand on his chest.

“Come on handsome,” she tells him, taking a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

*

Backyard boy, you make me nervous

#rpdr fanfiction #pinkgrapefruit #gottmik #rosé #denali foxx #denali x gottmik x rosé #poly #high school au #transboy mik #trans character #fluff #tw periods #tw dysphoria #its basically just cute #yes i consulted actual trans people #i fucking hate tagging oh lord #uhhhh stan V she’s great #concrit welcome but i have anxiety so be nice xo

[chaoticneutralwriter]

Fifth Act: Diligence

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him - James 1:12

guardian demon!jimin x reader

genre: fluff, romance, supernatural, angst, slow-burn, slice of life, comedy

word count: 12.9k (CHONKY BOIII)

related works: see Masterlist under guardian demon!jimin au

Continuation of Fourth Act: Kindness

A/N: when i said it was long, it’s LONG long. WHEW! The second longest chapter in the series so far?? djfksgh Sorry to keep you waiting for so long ;w; I can’t thank you enough for your patience and unwavering love and interest for this series in spite of it! So here we go, FIFTH ACT YALL HHHH I hope you’ll enjoy!!

@cherryjiminiee @kokobaekkie @breathebangtan @itsadoozie @thatshylatina @chiminieboi @azulamakesmeblank @sectumsemptae @awkwardwookie @aduky @poisonseashell @shortannoyingginger @caramelmac-chiato @sana-b @jiminstinct @beautifulparisiangirl @taelieninvader @ggukjitaejin @xakemi-chiix @vantaenims @atulipandarose​ @moments-of-melancholy

You don’t want to admit it.

It’s so cliche.

But you’re not gonna burst out singing Meg’s song from Hercules because you’ve passed that stage at least.

What your problem is is that confessing your feelings has proven to be way easier said than done on a multitude of different levels.

Confessing to someone is already a nerve-wracking thing to begin with — you’re basically laying your heart out to a person hoping that they won’t end up completely crushing it —  but furthermore, you don’t even know how to go about doing this. For the past days or so since you’ve resolved yourself to Jaehee that you were going to take that leap of faith, your only means of contact with Jimin has been through texting which was both a blessing and a curse.

You’re not gonna lie and say that you didn’t need to do some psyching up first, some mental pep talk through the assurance that you could still hold a decent conversation with him without getting sweaty palms. Of course, when you did manage to pull enough courage to direct the conversation to that topic (and okay maybe a glass of wine helped too), you were strategically swerved.

If there was one thing you wanted to do when you confessed, it was to do it in person. You feel like this is too big of a deal to do through text even if it would’ve helped you with organizing what you wanted to say better. You wanted to be open with yourself and to Jimin and being face to face was the only sure way to get your sincerity across.

So whenever you ask him if there was any chance he could meet up in person, whether it be at a cafe or even just late at night in your room, he would always excuse himself saying that he couldn’t. The reason always being that he was ‘busy’ or had matters he needed to attend to (his words, not yours). You understood at first, though the times when they happened it had put a damper on your confidence, but it soon became too redundant and you grew agitated, even more so because any attempts at a compromise didn’t work either; Jimin never gives a straight enough answer for it.

But then the chats became sparser, never lasting more than a few short exchanges until they just stop altogether.

And when the texts aren’t being returned, your calls are met in the same manner; your only reply is the sound of the dial tone.

Soon your suspicions morphs into anxieties, and though you attempt to reign in your imagination, the longer you don’t hear from him, the more they become rampant. Your mind begins to dredge up memories of things you’d rather forget, playing them out as if to show you how eerily similar this all is, taunting you, reminding you that the last time this had happened your guardian demon had come back on the brink of death.

You swallow, trying to quell the suffocating feeling that comes up but there’s a pressure on your chest that has your breathing shortened. You’re wringing your hands unconsciously, a small attempt at coping with how on edge you’ve become though it proves to not be as effective as you would have liked. How you found that out was because anything and everything irritated you and it showed.

You hate how it seems like you can’t go for a minute without wanting to snap at the next person who so much as look at you — a really bad thing because you work in an industry that requires you to maintain your cool in literally any situation, even the most absurd ones.

And it’s like today was ‘let’s irritate the hell out of Y/N L/N’ and you didn’t get the memo because the clowns are out in full force.

“Well I don’t want to call the help line, that’s gonna take too long.”

Deep breaths, you tell yourself, deep breaths.

“They’re actually pretty fast with finding your transaction history; the only time it would take a while is if you called during the weekend because their time of operation is shortened.” You explain for what felt like the millionth time.

Yet still, the man in front of you continues to scowl as if this is entire thing was your fault.

“But I’m already here, I don’t want to have to go home and come back because that’s a waste of gas.”

“Sir,” You start again, “I can’t refund this item for you at full price if you don’t have the receipt. As I said, I can still put it on a store credit but I will have to deduct thirty percent because I don’t know if you got this on sale or if you used a coupon — that’s just store policy. Or,” The word comes out firmly, “You can find the exact same item and just do a straight exchange for the better of the two.”

He pauses, as if to think it over and you were foolish enough to think that maybe he finally sees reason, but then he opens his mouth.

“But I want my full refund.”

Holy shit if it were not for the laws of this land….

“Then you’re gonna have to call the help line or go find the exact same item and exchange them.”

You’re done, you’re absolutely done and you swear if this man doesn’t walk away doing any of your suggestions right now, you can’t promise that no ones about to get smacked in the face with your scanner. Thankfully, as if the universe has heard you, he begrudgingly takes the box of outdoor fairy lights (you really want to pull your hair out here) and heads off down an aisle. You actually breathe out a sigh of relief, but there goes what little of your patience you have left.

Now you can only pray that the rest of your shift goes by as quickly and as smoothly as possible.

Obviously that was too much to ask for.

You cash out around five people more before a woman approaches your register, holding a box with a picture of a white Instax Mini Polaroid camera on the front. You’re not sure if it’s your gut instincts or because you’re already so annoyed that immediately, you have a bad feeling about this. Regardless however, you muster all the mental strength you possess to suppress the feeling. Lips pulled taut into a wide smile, you greet the customer with an overcompensating amount of friendliness.

“Hello, how are you?”

“Yeah, I want to change the colour of this polaroid camera.”

You force the smile to remain on your face, “Sure no problem! Which colour would you like instead?”

“The pink one.”

You turn around to scan the rows of polaroid boxes hanging on the pegs behind you, picking out of the three colours available for the pink one the woman wanted. Placing it on the counter beside you, you ask nicely, “Can I see the receipt for the camera that you have and the camera as well please?”

She slides the box over to you and you see the receipt poking out of the slit. You take it out, opening the box to check the camera inside and make sure that everything that came with it was still there. Once you confirm that it is, you close it back up and unfold the receipt to match the barcode number on the box to the one that’s printed. Looking over to the pink coloured one, you confirm that the the item code for the white and pink cameras are different which comes as no surprise for you; in order to do this exchange, you would have to return and repurchase so the inventory count would be correct for the store.

A rather simple and painless concept.

“Why can’t I just take this one and give you this one?” The lady questions, annoyance colouring every one of her words as she gestures between the two cameras.

“I know they’re the same camera but since they’re different colours, they have two unique item numbers that differentiate them from each other to help with our inventory. It would only work if they were the exact same camera.”

“But they are!”

“They’re different in colours.”

“You know I’ve shopped here for a long time and I have never had to do this before.” She scowls at you and you refrain from rolling your eyes because clearly she doesn’t shop here enough to know.

“We’e always had this policy ma’am.” You instead answer plainly, the artificial civility in your demeanour already dissipating. When it’s clear that you weren’t going to budge and give in to her intimidation, she rolls her eyes and pulls out her card to insert into the pin pad. The computer system lets out a beep in error, letting you know that the card she used was not the one she purchased the camera with.

“Is that a debit or a credit card?” You ask despite already knowing.

“It’s a debit.”


“It has to be on the same card you used to pay for the camera.”

“Why can’t I just use any card?” You can already pick up the growing inflection in her voice; it’s a little louder and more aggressive but at this point you’re at your wits end too.

“For security purposes.” You choose to state simply, tired of explaining when you know it won’t work.

“Well, I don’t have that card on me because I thought this was going to be a simple exchange.” She says accusatorially, like of course all of this is your fault and you’re the one who’s being difficult. You try to take a deep breath in discreetly, jaw clenched until you feel it beginning to ache before you reply back to her.

“I can put it on a store credit and you can just use that amount to pay for the camera again.”

Your answer makes her huff, crossing her arms as she says, “Fine.”

Your finger practically punches in the appropriate operating system for the return method, reaching in a side drawer behind your counter to pull out a black card meant for store credits. There’s a slight tremble in your hand from the sheer effort of holding yourself back, feeling like a coiled snake ready to lash out at the littlest prod that you try to keep hidden by speeding up the process, which almost makes you slam the drawer close with more force than necessary.

You confirm the amount and swipe the card through the machine in one quick motion, carelessly dropping the card onto the counter in front of you as you wait for the printout copy of the transaction to come out.

“You didn’t have to throw the card like that.” The woman’s voice snap, piercing through your tunnel vision, so hyper-focused on just getting the task done that for a good minute you actually don’t know what she’s talking about.

“I didn’t throw the card.” You reply evenly.

“Yes, you did. Just now.” She challenges, gesturing to the card and pinning you with a sharp glare.

“It dropped out of my hand.”

“No, you threw it.”

“I didn’t throw the card, it dropped out of my hand.” You reiterate, biting out the words that at this point, there’s no way she wouldn’t notice your own growing disdain. To your surprise, she doesn’t continue to try and fight you on this (though the crossed look on her face remains) so you take it as a sign to proceed on to completing this transaction.

You think you’re in the clear; after swiping the card through, you hand over her new receipt and the camera she wanted but before you can even think about gritting out a very forced ‘have a nice day’, the woman cuts you off with a terse, “I’m speaking to your management about this. What is your name?”

The shock of her words make you freeze in place, your jaw nearly dropping from speechlessness. She can’t be serious right now….

But as the woman continues to wait, clearly impatient yet stubborn enough to wait for your answer, you realize that yes, she really is threatening to take down your name and report you to management over this petty squabble. Your heart is practically beating in your throat now and you feel your face heating up at how angry you’re getting, so much that for a split second the rash thought of outright refusing her came into mind. You wanted so badly to go through with it, loathed the idea of letting her think she had won when it’s her who was wrong in the first place. However, rationality wins over in the end; as sweet as the instant gratification would be, you think it’s not worth losing your job over.

Also, you just want her gone.

So you find yourself swallowing your pride and begrudgingly, you give her your name. To add insult to injury, she asks for a pen to write it down onto her receipt before she finally turns to walk off.

Great, fantastic, just what you needed; being written up because this stupid, entitled bitch decided to mouth off on you for something you have no control over.

You hate how your heart is still pounding, still trembling from your barely restrained emotions that has your nails digging into your palms. With a shaky exhale in an attempt to shake it off, you radio over to your manager that you would like to take your break now.

Thankfully, you’re given the go ahead and you had never made for the break room faster in your life, brisk pace allowing for no chances of getting stopped by any more annoying customers. Once the door shuts behind you do you finally slump back against it, temples throbbing as you take in deep shuddering breaths.

It takes a feel minutes before you feel calm enough, the overwhelming fire simmering down to a calm you can control.

You may have had to swallow your pride in telling a Karen your name and risk being written up, but you’ll be damned if you let it break you down.

-

The groan comes out unabashedly when you unceremoniously fling yourself across your bed, finally home after what felt like a ten hour shift. You lay there, eyes shut like you’re trying to trick your body that you’re in the state of sleep just so you can obtain some semblance of energy back — it doesn’t work.

Instinctively, your hand reaches to dig into your sling bag to fish out your phone, muscle memory dictating your actions as your thumb slides your lock pattern open and they’re tapping on the messenger icon before you can even think to stop yourself. The window opens with Jimin’s message thread staring right in your face, mocking in the way it has not changed status at all, frozen in its own time.

You don’t know how many times you’ve seen this screen at this point but it still never fails to stir back up all the negative thoughts and emotions that has been plaguing you so vividly as if it was your first time experiencing it. Your teeth are tugging at your lips again, reading and rereading your own sent messages that have gone unanswered, all asking the same thing;

Are you okay?

Where are you?

The details to the questions are no longer of your concerns because each scenario you conjure in your head was worse than the last that they threaten to drive you mad. You don’t think you can bear the weight on your heart much longer as more and more days pass in living this torturous limbo of not knowing.

All you wanted was just an answer, anything that would let you know that he was out there, alive and well.

That alone was enough for you.

You tear your gaze away from the offending sight, tossing your phone carelessly onto your bed somewhere. You sit back up just in time to hear the front door unlock and open, signalling for Jaehee’s arrival home.

You exit your room to greet her, wanting to take your mind off of things if only for a short while.

“Hey, where’d you run off to all day?” You ask, helping Jaehee with a couple of grocery bags but a quick peek lets you see that there are some that contains other curious things like….is that a plant?

“Hey! Oh, just here and there. Stocked up on some more food stuff but then got really distracted because look at these!”

Jaehee excitedly sets down a reusable bag on the table before reaching inside to pull out its content, which turns out to be a good sized leafy plant sitting in a cute little white ceramic pot. The leaves are wide and arrow-like in shape, marbled beautifully in vibrant greens and yellows — the lightest colour starting from the centre and transitioning much darker —  that makes them appear as if they have been painted on. At a quick glance, you would’ve actually believed that the plant is fake if it wasn’t for the specks of dark soil spilling out from the base when Jaehee accidentally tipped it too much while placing it down.

“They’re called Chinese Evergreens. Aren’t they pretty?” Your roommate beams, twisting the plant this way and that. “Now that I got some time to myself, I thought why not finally fulfill my wish in living my life out as a plant mom.”

A loud snort leaves you as you gingerly place the bag of food on the kitchen counter, turning around to see that Jaehee has pulled out yet another leafy looking plant, only the leaves of this one were long and banana shaped, a solid dark, olive green colour and parted slightly at the centre into an almost fan-like shape with seven leaves equal to each side.

“I got this one because I remember growing up, my parents had one, only theirs was way bigger.” Jaehee comments, holding up the plant comfortably in her hands. “I never knew what it was called until the gardener helping me told me it was a Kaffir Lily.”

You blink, a little skeptical at the name because it certainly didn’t resemble the lilies you pictured in your head.

“Lily? So does that mean it’ll flower?”

“Apparently? I was surprised too because I don’t think I’ve ever seen my parents’ plant flower but the gardener say its sporadic and sometimes first blooms don’t happen until two or three years later.” Jaehee regards the plant with a pensive pout and a tilt of her head but then shrugs and happily says, “But judging from the pictures though, they look pretty!”

You hum, choosing to nod along with what Jaehee says before turning back to sort out the food she’s bought. Seeing Jaehee so lively like this makes you glad for her. Ever since quitting her job, it’s like a weight has been lifted and Jaehee isn’t shy about taking full advantage of all the time she has now to do the more simpler things she’s missed out on — like cultivating plants apparently.

Whatever the hobby is, it’s nice to know that at least one of you is thriving.

Over dinner you express as much, which you get a boisterous laugh in response and actually feel sorry when Jaehee asks the same of you but all you can do is tell her that things have been the complete opposite on your end.

Aside from the god awful day at work you had (one which had Jaehee physically reeling and not knowing what to do with herself for a good five minutes; that was pretty funny), you had also told her of your predicament with Jimin. She’s frowning by the time you get out that you haven’t heard from him for days now.

“Every time I ask him to meet up in person, he’s always brushed me off or changes the subject, like he’s avoiding it.” You sigh out heavily, can’t keep how troubled you are from it out of your voice. “Now I don’t even hear from him at all and it’s making me anxious.”

A pause, and once again you’re wringing your fingers as you try to work out any sort of explanation for this. “You don’t think…You don’t think I scared him off do you?”

“No, no I don’t think that’s it.” Jaehee affirms, though the pinch in her brows doesn’t go away. “I mean it would suck if that’s all it takes because damn, I actually had a lot of faith in him but….I don’t know, it doesn’t seem right to me.”

Her words give you more comfort than you had expected, a relief you hadn’t known you needed and you’re all the more grateful for her to anchor you down. After wracking her head a bit more, Jaehee says carefully, “You mentioned how he was leaving soon, did he say anything about when he’s coming back or….?”

“No, he— he didn’t say. Just that it would be soon….” You swallow, feeling your chest clench suddenly. “I mean, he’s been gone before like this — twice actually — but he comes back, he always does…”

Even if it nearly kills him….

You trail off in your ramblings, trying hard not to reveal too much to Jaehee yet you feel like you’re making excuses for yourself because you don’t want to acknowledge the possibility that Jimin would up and leave without telling you. If not to your face then you’d hoped he would have at least the decency to leave you a note. Besides, shouldn’t there be some sort of formal undoing to your contract with him if he’s clear to be a free roaming demon again? It wouldn’t make sense if you’re still tied to each other in some way, or does the contract simply null itself? You refrain from letting out a groan, feeling the frustration and the oncoming headache draining what last bit of energy you have left. Instead, you drag your hands down your face and let out a heavy sigh.

“It only makes me worry because sometimes he’s reckless and does stupid things….”

“Wait, like what kind of ‘stupid things?’” Jaehee suddenly interjects, sitting up a little straighter and sounding a little more concerned. It has you floundering on how to put lightly that it’s in Jimin’s nature (and literally his job) to go out and find people to tempt them into depravity; would be fine and all had he been the only dangerous thing roaming the city but no doubt after that fateful night, there was something else more dangerous out there. Even though Jimin had told you it was one of those rare moments that he ended up so badly injured like that, you’d rather not take any chances or have him test his luck again.

“I don’t know like…things that might get him into unnecessary trouble.” God that does not make it sound any better. Panicked, you hastily add, “Nothing illegal of course! But like he…tends to wander and is a little too impulsive sometimes – do his own thing without thinking it through?” You cringe, bracing for Jaehee to give you shit for liking a guy who now sounds like a drug dealer or something. She gives you a rather perplexed look, a sort of lopsided quirk of her lips but eventually she seems to let it go, wordlessly trusting you and your sense of judgment.

“I’m just asking because….” Jaehee hesitates, then begins chewing on her bottom lip and her nervous tick starts to make you antsy.

“What?”


“When I met up with him, on the day we talked about quitting my job at the cafe, he also brought up how he’ll be gone for a bit and told me to make sure it doesn’t worry you too much.” She lets out a short, wry chuckle. “Actually said something along the same lines but about you, or as he put lightly, ‘make sure she doesn’t go off and do something she might regret.’”

It takes a second for her words to process, so shocked at hearing about this new tidbit of information. You blink and can’t help the hard frown that takes over your face, “W-Wha— Wait hold on, he told you he was going to be gone for a while too? And he didn’t say where either?”

And what did he mean ‘go off and do something you might regret’??

Jaehee winces slightly at seeing the heightened distress she’s caused but she powers on, firmly believing that you deserve to know as much as you can in regards to someone you deeply cared about.

“Yeah, he only said that much to me so I’m still as lost as you are. But….” She swallows, “Before he left that day, he didn’t look so well…. Like, he might be coming down with something serious.”

Your shoulders tense, heart palpitating as your mind begins to race.

“I’m not saying this to freak you out because it’s just what I saw so you can take it with a grain of salt. I’m just letting you know in case it might shed some light on some things.” Jaehee placates, holding up a hand as if in an attempt to calm you. You try to get a word out, an acknowledgement or anything but your throat suddenly feels too dry and all of your thoughts are spinning with questions that have no answers.

Did he get hurt? If so, how? Or can demons actually become ill, but from what? Is this why he’s not answering your calls or texts? Because he was trying to hide whatever this is? For how long?

“Do you know any of his friends? Someone you can contact to try and get a hold of him for you?” Jaehee’s voice pulls you back out from those depths, only half registering her words.

“I— Uh…No, not real— “ You stop your jumbled stream of thoughts midway when one name does come to mind. “Yeah…. Yeah I know someone.”

-

You say that, but you hadn’t exactly thought of how you were going to find him, let alone ask him if he could find out where the hell Jimin has disappeared off to.

Hell, you're not even sure if Jungkook's around to help anymore. If you remember correctly, you swear the last time you’ve spoken to him was on that rooftop garden and that felt like ages ago; you haven’t heard so much as a peep from him since.

But you need to try something.

As aloof as he is, Jimin always lingers in some way, like a shadow that’s hidden out sight and after Jaehee’s talk, you're confident that he wouldn’t just leave without telling you first. Clearly, there's something else going on with him and he's not telling you. So it’s with that hope that you find yourself doing things you wouldn’t find yourself doing late into the night at almost two in the morning.

Like google searching how to summon specific demons.

It’s so stupid, you’re well aware. Before, you would be like anyone else when it comes to your opinions on the supernaturals and anything relating to the occult; a skeptic and a very niche hobby one partakes in. You wouldn’t have thought twice about it existing because there was little to no evidence on it (or if there were claims, it would consider to be a reach). Oh how the tables have turned and with this desperate times calls for desperate measures position you’ve found yourself in, now it’s like a whole new world full of possibilities, ripe for your picking.

Perhaps not something you should dive right into the deep end of but what other choices do you have? Besides, you never know if there might actually be something helpful or clues in…..Beginner’s Guide to the Dark Arts and Satanism.

.... Fucking hell, what are you doing?

It’s okay, you reassure yourself, as long as you don’t accidentally end up in the dark webs then you’re good.

You go through a number of different websites, all looking and sounding more like something you would find in a fantasy novel or just plain cult-y. Once or twice you come across ‘summoning rituals’, most of which involve your run of the mill staple requirements: lots of pentagrams, symbols, candles, a skull of an animal or a straight up animal sacrifice, and some fancy incantations that you’re not sure are even legit.

Of the times you do come across specified summoning rituals, they include all of the above in varying methods but one thing that had remained consistent, you noticed, was that you needed a name — a ‘true’ name as they had called it — of the demon you’re trying to summon, like Beelzebub or Lucifer.

It leaves you briefly wondering about your guardian demon’s name, the one he went by rather than the alias he uses. You never realized and the more you mulled over it, you begin to feel immensely guilty.

How must he have felt when you called him by another name that wasn’t his.

You go to sleep that night with a knot in your stomach.

Much of your nights is spent that way; scouring through internet searches hoping to find some sort of lead to go off of but honestly, there’s only so much sifting you can do before everything starts to sound like the ramblings of a fanatic. The only information you had found promising was about the summoning rituals, particularly the ones to summon a specific demon, given if you knew their true names….which is something you don’t possess, either for Jimin’s or Jungkook’s.

It’s a frustrating fact because it’s the last and most crucial thing you needed if you even want to attempt trying. You hate the idea that you’re so close to getting somewhere and it’s just this one thing standing in your way. At this point, you think you might  have more luck trying to summon Lucifer himself and asking him where your guardian demon went.

…..

Huh.

Your fingers stop scrolling through your phone — another demonology article you’ve come across that didn’t really have much to do with finding a lost demon but intriguing enough to have you read — the thought pervading in your mind. It should concern you that it stays for as long as it did but the worse part is that the more you thought on it, the more it made sense.

If you can end up with a demon as your traditional guardian angel, then surely you have a chance at getting a hold of his boss, right?

Before you know it, you're flinging the covers off and booting up your laptop again in the quiet darkness of your room, half telling yourself that you won’t go through with this insane plan if you can’t find that one web page that seems the most credible to you. Much to your bemusement, you do, tucked away as a bookmark no less. It comically sticks out in contrast amongst the other more mundane things on the list; cooking recipes, nail art tutorials and then boom: witchcraft, demonology and understanding how you can attract different entities based on the energy you create through the elements.

Well, you think, looks like you’re about to find out whether Hell really is toll free after all.

-

If someone were to tell you months earlier that you would be spending a weekend shopping around for items to set up a demon summoning ritual you’ll be attempting yourself, you’d probably just let out one long, exasperated groan into oblivion before accepting the predicament, mumbling something along the lines of ‘he’s going to end up killing me first before anything else, and then what?’

Furthermore, you’re not just summoning any demon, you’re going to try to summon Lucifer, essentially the CEO of Hell and you’re about to pull a goddamn Karen — ‘corporate will hear from me!’ — on them because your guardian demon decided to go AWOL on you and you’ve had enough of being left in the dark. When they say you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain, this wasn’t exactly what you had pictured for yourself.

Ah, truly the things you do for love.

Once you got over that rather ironic analogy (literally stared vacantly into space for a good ten minutes, not knowing whether to laugh or cry), you had searched up all the places within your city that would possibly have the things you were looking for. The site had suggested a variety of them, ranging from apothecaries to antique shops. It took you by surprise when you do actually find two or three of them, not expecting at all for these sort of niche shops to exist in what you had always pictured to be a mostly uptown urban neighbourhood — guess that goes to show how much you go out.

Your plan was to hit up these little shops, buy what you can find there and then whatever you’re missing you would order off from a suggested website. So that’s how you find yourself on a Saturday off, bright and early; a rare sight for all kinds of reasons as normally, you’d be dead to the world until at least after twelve in the afternoon but you had been so restless that even sleep didn’t hold you back.

You’re on a mission.

After painfully following your buggy google map directions, you stumble upon the first stop. It’s a little apothecary shop, tucked away down a small, narrow side street where much of the city’s history is still prevalent in its structures. You can only guess these buildings were built in the early 1900, or even 1800 — the brick-red edifice is well worn and have patches of dense ivy that seems to almost swallow the walls whole. It appears to be tightly packed, the few mom and pop shops that are open on the street level on either side have multiple windows and sometimes iron fenced balconies above them, which you can only guess are the living spaces for the owners. For the most part, it’s quiet, the only other person you’ve seen is a young man who was too engrossed in getting an interesting angle with his camera.

Craning your neck, you take in the the lacquered sign above which reads ’The Soul Apothecary’ in gold script against a dark forest green paint that colours the outer front of the shop. It’s chipped in some places, mainly along the border that surrounds the large panelled window that display numerous of things on a small wooden shelf; crystals that are big and small in varying colours, jars of dried herbs, small potted plants, and wind chimes made of both wood and silver hanging off to the side.

It’s all very quaint and it makes you think that perhaps on some other less tumultuous time in your life, you would actually visit this place again.

Once you had your fill in admiring the exterior, you finally make your way towards the front entrance, passing by the two potted evergreens and pushing the door open to which a little silver bell chimes, signalling your arrival. Immediately, you’re taken by the interior and the smell of burning incense. It’s rustic in nature, the furnishing mostly, if not in all dark wood with the same forest green accents and despite it being a relatively small shop, everything has been designed to effectively maximize the use of space; nothing appeared to be cramped or cluttered at all.

All the walls were occupied from top to bottom with shelves and drawers, packed full of jars containing who knows what with the occasional decorative pieces breaking in between — taxidermy butterflies in frames, diagrams drawn on parchment that has browned with age, and geodes. There’s a single, long wooden table that sits in the middle of the store that holds trays of trinkets that can be worn with a little chalk sign that has an explanation on the purpose of certain items (and a winky face drawn next to a ‘buy one get one free’ advertisement), mini figurines and mortars. Above you, you realize, were dried lavender and roses hanging from a bar secured into the ceiling, their scents still faintly lingering in the air whenever you pass under.

Finally, you come upon the front till and it’s perhaps by far the most eye-catching thing you’ve ever seen. Framed on either ends of the counter were two wooden pillars that taper towards the top to form a narrow pyramid where two wrought iron rods curve outwards, meeting in the middle. Hanging from them were brass scales, varying in lengths and sizes, some of the little weights left forgotten from previous use. It’s here that you also discover the source of the incense, the lotus shaped burner resting off to the side along a call bell.

You’re so caught up in taking everything in that you had failed to notice someone else has entered the room.

“I gather you enjoy my shop?”

The sudden appearance startles you, whipping your head up to come face to face with a chest before quickly shifting your gaze upwards and when you do, you do a double take. The owner of the voice — and as it turns out, the shop — was a shockingly handsome man, his hair a chestnut brown with the tresses sweeping naturally down over his forehead and looks soft to the touch. His face is oval in shape, set upon a strong jaw and brows but paired with warm features; eyes round, tall nose, and a prominent cupid’s bow upon plush lips (though you’re sure not as plush as Jimin’s), you think you can go as far as to say his face was near perfect— the golden ratio as they call it.

He’s dressed in a white tunic shirt, loose and flowing over broad shoulders and simple black trousers, his only other accessories were the long silk scarf draped around his neck, it’s gold intricate floral designs standing out against the black colour and a single dangling silver earring with a nail point at the end of the chain, the shape reminding you of a fang as it twinkles with the slightest tilt of his head.

For a moment, your mouth and brain fail to work coherently, leaving you to gape stupidly like a fish. To be quite honest, you were half expecting a much older gentleman or lady to be the mysterious owner of the shop, a long ingrained stereotype from all the fairy tales you’ve been told as a child but standing in front of you is a man you think no older than twenty-eight. Furthermore….. why does he look so familiar?

You can’t quite place it, like your mind is just on the cusp of figuring out where you’ve seen him before, but then you’re back to drawing a blank once your eyes focus on his features. It’s almost as if you’re being forced to relive a deja vu over and over again. You give up eventually, tired of this mental battle that’s only aggravating you. Besides, you have more pressing matters at hand. Like functioning as a normal human being.

“I— Uh, y-yeah! It’s— It’s a nice place. So...” You gesture your hands uselessly, not really knowing yourself what you mean by it either so you smile back, exhaling a nervous laugh. He lets out a hearty chuckle in response, a hand over his chest as he throws his head back slightly and letting you see his Adam’s apple bob.

“Ah, hearing how speechless you are about my shop is all the compliment I need.” He peers down at you again, soft smile never leaving his face, “Though that can only mean you’ve never visited before?”

You shake your head sheepishly, confirming his assumptions. “No I haven’t, so you’re right about this being my first time.”

He withdraws to his full heigh with a thoughtful hum, nodding his head and clasping his hand behind his back. “I had a feeling since I remember all of my customer’s faces. I guess I should introduce myself then.” With a flourishing bow, he says, “You can call me Sung Jin or Joel, whichever you prefer.”

You nod, smiling widely as you introduce yourself as well. “Y/N.”

“Y/N….” Sung Jin repeats, committing it to memory. His expression dims briefly, a complete one-eighty from his otherwise cheerful demeanour but as quick as it came, it vanished, replaced by his usual benevolent smile again. It has you thinking that maybe you had imagined it. “What can I help you with today?”

Seeing as there were no other customers aside from yourself, Sung Jin sticks by your side, helping you find most of the items you have written down on a list. He’s charming, quite amicable as he enthusiastically tells you about the different plants and minerals you were looking for in great detail, their medicinal properties (or lack thereof) and other trivia facts you hadn’t bothered to look into.

You enjoy it, fascinated by what you’re learning yet you can’t help feeling the irony of it all because what you’re using these things for is far from healing purposes. And evidently, Sung Jin seems to catch on when the items start to become more and more dubious in nature, but in spite of it, he does little to deter you from buying them.

“So….. Atropa Belladonna….” He starts off casually, one dark brow raised and when you give him a puzzled look back, he adds, pointing his chin at the vial of dull purple, bell-shaped flowers and shiny black berries in your little basket. “Commonly known as deadly nightshade — not something people buy often, let alone ask in my shop.”

“O-Oh….” You nervously fidget, eyes darting from the little jar of poison to the jar in your hand (‘chamomile’ the label reads, a subconscious choice that you’d rather not look too much into). “Uh... I just thought...you know, it looked pretty interesting...?” You sound as convincing as a soggy loaf of bread, the grimace on your face not helping at all.

Sung Jin stares at you, eyes boring so intensely into your soul that you felt the need to lean back slightly. It goes on for a long minute until he lets out a loud gasp and he leans in, stage whispering conspiratorially, “You're not trying to summon a ghost or a demon are you?”

“N-NO!” It comes out louder than you had intended, spluttering and choking on air as you say defensively, “I'm not – !! Who would – why would anyone wanna do that?!” The jar still in your hand nearly goes flying from all the frantic waving you're doing. At your strong reaction, the tall brunette bursts out into a guffaw, slapping the tops of his thigh delightedly, laughter pitching and squeaking as if you'd just told him the funniest joke he's ever heard.

“I'm just kidding! Oh man, the look on your face was priceless!”

Again, you're hit with the dizzying sensation of deja vu, so fast that you're left in a daze until you're knocked back by Sung Jin who playfully smacks you on the shoulder.

Geez, is the incense that strong in here? You don't know what's gotten into you.

Once he finally calms, Sung Jin lets out a satisfied sigh, placing his hands on his hips as he regards you again. “Well! If that's all that you're looking for today, I'll be happy to cash you out whenever you're ready.”

“A-Ah...yeah....” You reply weakly, still trying to recover from the cold sweat that he made you break out into. Once you get your bearings again, you shuffle on over to the register counter and by the time Sung Jin bags the last of your things, you'd spent just a little over a hundred dollars. Your wallet is crying but you tell yourself it's all on Jimin's tab that he's wracking up with you.

“Thanks for everything today, Sung Jin. It was really nice meeting you and finding your shop.” You say. The shop owner smiles at you, about to bid you farewell when he catches himself, eyes widening in realization.

“Ah! I almost forgot something!” He whirls around from leaning against the counter to rifle through the drawers behind him, muttering under his breath until he makes a noise that lets you know that he's found what he was looking for. Turning around, he presents to you a stone crystal of sorts, about the size of his palm. At first, you think it's some type of rose quartz, only much paler than what you're used to seeing but as the light catches it, it shimmers iridescently, the vibrant colours sparkling and bouncing against the wooden surface of the counter. “A gift for you.”

“Oh no, I can't possibly...”

“Consider it as a 'thank you' for spending over a hundred dollars.” Sung Jin cuts you off with a tut, gingerly sliding the crystal into the little black pouch and cinching the draw strings together before offering it to you, “Also, it doubles up as a protective charm.”

“Oh really?” You ask, mildly intrigued, tentatively taking the bag and placing it into one of the pockets in your large tote bag.

“Yeah, keeps away all those evil spirits and spooky, scary stuff.” He wiggles his fingers at you, making you snort. Without any more surprises, you gather the brown paper shopping bags in your hands and turn, ready to leave.

“Thanks again, Sung Jin. I hope I can visit sometimes near the future.”

He shoots you a beaming smile, one that makes his eyes crinkle and cheeks full, waving cutely at you. Right before your eyes, he's aged back ten years and the sight makes it all the more difficult not to return his smile.

“Of course, come back soon Y/N. I'll be expecting you.”

His parting words ring out the same time the bell above the door does, making you halt just outside of the shop. You turn to look back as if something is compelling you to do so. It's confusing because you don't have any attachments to this place, having only visited for the first time and yet, you have this strange feeling of not wanting to leave.

The connection is broken just as quickly however, with the shuttering of painted wood, the door closing with a forceful clatter, effectively cutting off the strong earthy smell that had seemed to permeate around you until now. You shake your head, taking a deep inhale of the fresh air in the late afternoon sun. It clears away whatever dreamy haze that remained and with a shrug, you head on home, intent to tackle the rest of your remaining tasks.

-

Obviously, they would call for a night with a full moon, right on 3AM – the start of the witching hour. That's usually the case with these things right? Aside from this one requirement, everything else had been exceptionally easy to obtain. Your trip to Sung Jin's shop had saved you a lot of time and trouble in finding the things you needed which left only a handful of items that needed to be acquired – most of which you found on Amazon (of all places, but you suppose you really can find anything and everything on Amazon). The only hiccup you had was Jaehee nearly discovering your, as you sardonically call, 'new secret hobby' (boy that would've been a fun conversation to try and weasel your way out of).

So thanks to Amazon Prime, you have your very own demon summoning starter kit ready to go by the time the next full moon appears. And lucky for you, it lands on the day you have a closing shift so after you're done working, you can head right off into doing this – you have your eyes set on a local park just outside of your neighbourhood as the perfect place for it!

Wow, you sound way too excited about trying to summon Lucifer with no prior experience.

But you attribute the morbid exhilaration you're feeling as nerves you would have when you're doing something out of your comfort zone, like skydiving – except this was by far the most unorthodox way of getting high off of an adrenaline rush ever. Either way, you're antsy during the days leading up to it and even more so throughout your shift; you could barely keep still. Once you punch out for the night, you bid a hasty farewell to your co-workers and jet off without a second to waste. You take the bus to your normal route but instead of walking down the street towards your home, you continue on forward for two blocks.

You cross the road, coming up on the park that was like a little island all on its own with a simple playground and a set of swings that has seen better days situated in the centre, bordered by a singular paved path that curved from one end of the park to the other. The three street lamps planted sparely about the area begin to come alive just as the last of the sunset's light fades over the horizon. It casts everything in an umber glow, occasionally flickering sporadically. It's a quiet night, the only sounds are the faint chirping of crickets and passing cars in the busier intersection at the end of the road. There was no other person that occupied the park as far as you can tell, only seeing one or two people out taking a nightly stroll. The weather is especially warm tonight; even with the sun down there is still a blanket of heat that remains in the air, making you think that maybe you might actually get an early summer at this rate.

Your skin feels slightly warm and dewy as you decide to take a seat on the lone bench, finally putting down your tote and the big brown paper shopping bag you've lugged to work and stuffed in your cubby locker. It contains all of the things you need to set up for the summoning ritual but seeing as it's only eleven-thirty, you pull out your headphones to listen to some music while you wait for the appropriate time.

The moon was bright tonight, so clear against the cloudless sky that it almost looks like it was hanging right above you. You fall into a tranquil peace staring at it, the first in what felt like ages that you just bask in it – might as well take advantage of this rare moment before who knows what kind of shit will hit the fan soon.

Unfortunately, it lasts for about a good hour and a half before your nerves rear its ugly head again, suddenly so acutely aware of the time slowly passing. You're no longer satisfied with gazing at the moon, already having given up on trying to see the stars if you stared hard enough (you've never had such luck with that around here anyways). So you try to occupy yourself in other ways, like taking a look around the playground (you foolishly decided to try your hand at going down the twisting red slide which nearly sends you crashing into the sand pit below; that slide should definitely not be that fast) and doing a couple of rounds on the swings (before it let out a loud and concerning creak).

Still, the itch persists, you want to get this over with much like ripping a bandage right off. But magic takes time and precision, there's no cutting corners here, or so you read.

You eventually settle to make your base in the small platform of the play set, anxiously checking and rechecking your bag to see that you have everything. After you painfully drain your phone battery to fifty percent and nearly falling asleep, the clock finally hits 3AM. Now, you're truly deep into the night where the world falls to a hush and knows no better of the deeds that are about to transpire. The perfect cover.

You get to work, climbing down the play set with your bags in tow. Through the tab on your phone, you walk through the steps in setting up the summoning circle, using simple white chalk to draw on the pavement. You sprinkle the area with a crushed mixture of herbs and roots you had bought from Sung Jin's shop in the cardinal directions as instructed and draw a salt ring in the middle, meant to contain and protect you from harm. Finally, you mark the five candles and the inside of your wrists with more symbols in black ink and then take out a safety pin.

This is the one part you hate.

Inhaling deeply, you press the point of the pin against the pad of your thumb, adding pressure until you flinch, feeling the skin pierce and bead of crimson rises from the wound.

“Why do they always gotta involve your blood or any kind of blood....” You mutter, annoyed as you swipe it against the body of each candle, just above the marked symbols. Sticking your thumb in your mouth, you lick away the remaining blood as you arrange the candles to sit at the different points on the summoning circle and with a match stick, you light them all up. When the last of the candle is lit, you flick away the match and get into position, scrolling all the way down on your phone until you reach the incantations.

“Alright, here we fucking go...”

With your palms facing up, you begin to recite the first lines. You try to keep your tone steady and clear, enunciating each word. The further along you go, the easier they flow out like you know them off by heart, shocking you. You don't know if you're just imagining things but it's like something comes over you, a chill that travels down your spine, reaching to your fingertips and makes every nerve endings stand on edge. The sound of your own voice seems so distant to you now, like it's not even yours anymore as you fall into a trance-like state. You fail to notice the breeze that begins to pick up, a static charge in the air as the lamps around you flicker violently and when you utter the name 'Lucifer Morningstar', the candles are blown out.

When you regain your focus, you're slightly out of breath, heart thundering against your chest and in your ears. You glance around your surroundings, cautious and half-expecting to come face-to-face with the devil himself but slowly you realize....

There was nothing.

A whole three-sixty spin confirms it; there wasn't a single thing amiss around you that you're actually left in disbelief. But it's quiet now, too quiet. The crickets have stopped chirping, the street lights have stopped flickering – even the faulty one you saw earlier. So you wait another few minutes for good measures, holding your breath and shoulders tense until a sharp ringing and intense vibration erupts from your hand, causing you to yell out in surprise. Fumbling, you crash onto your knees in an attempt to catch your phone, managing to cushion what would've surely been a screen shattering fall to a short, edge denting clatter. You can't help the pathetic whine that escapes your lips; from being startled, dropping your phone, the ache in your knees, and the fact that the ritual most likely didn't work.

Shaking away the jitters, you blink, momentarily blinded by the light of your phone as it shows you the identity of the caller. You pick up after the third ring.

“Hello?”

“GIRL! WHERE ARE YOU!?” Jaehee's voice screeches through. You pull away, wincing and even from a distance, she speaks as if she's right beside you. “IT'S ALMOST FOUR IN THE MORNING AND IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS SINCE I GOT HOME! TWO HOURS!! AND NO TEXT OR CALL OR ANYTHING?! I THOUGHT YOU GOT KIDNAPPED!”

You sigh, guilt washing over you as you can hear how palpable her worry is. It'd completely slipped your mind to text her that you would be home late. You drag a hand down your face, feeling drained as your night's escapades start to catch up to you and answer Jaehee less she was going to pop a blood vessel.

“Y-Yeah sorry, sorry. I forgot I had to go somewhere and sort of lost track of time, also didn't help that I missed the last bus to get home so...”

“Do you need me to send an Uber? Where did you go? Are you far?”

“No, no it's okay Jaehee, I'll be home in a few minutes don't worry.” You reassure. You end the call after convincing Jaehee that you're absolutely fine and not being held at gunpoint. Looking down at the mess you've made, you can't help the small chortle as it dawns on you that this is definitely not something you should leave behind any evidence of – you don't think families or the elderly would appreciate finding out that there's been some occult funny business going on right outside their homes.

Whoops.

You gather the candles once the wax has dried, stuffing them back into the brown paper bag along with the little jars and vials you used. You sweep away the salt and remnants of the herbs as best you can, pushing them into the grass inconspicuously. For the ink staining your wrists, you wet your fingers with your tongue and rub until all that's left is a blotchy mess. Now all that remains was the chalk drawing of the summoning circle. At first you tried scuffing as much of it with the soles of your shoes but all that does was slightly smudge it, the markings still clear as day.

“Uhhh.....” You flounder, not knowing what to do with your hands before you give your bag a thorough rifle and triumphantly pull out an old water bottle still half full. This will do. You empty it over the drawing, making sure to try and get as much of it as you can. Thankfully, it dissolves without much resistance and you chuck the plastic bottle into the trash can. Sure there might be a few marks left over but it was hardly discernible and honestly, you can't be bothered with any more efforts. You're tired and you just want to go to sleep.

So you head on home without so much as another thought on your mind, oblivious to the ghostly white wisps of smoke trailing after you.

-

Jaehee was on you the moment you stepped through the door, already interrogating you and going as far as to ask if it had anything to do with trying to find Jimin. You should've figured she would assume that, knowing how troubled you were about his absence. At least because of that, she was somewhat more understanding but had made you promise you would let her know if you were going to be out past 2AM.

“I know how worried you are about him, but I don't want you going out and endangering yourself trying to find him like that. You shouldn't have to get hurt because of some bad decisions he chose to make.”

You really wished it was that simple.

So you placate her by saying that you had tried to meet with a friend of Jimin's only to be stood up at the last minute, completely not his fault. She let you go then, still miffed but otherwise glad that you're safe otherwise. You fall into a deep sleep that night the moment your head touches the pillow, exhausted.

It'd been the longest sleep you've ever had. You wake up groggy as all hell but with a new weight on your chest.

Your only lead in finding your guardian demon didn't work and the blow hits harder than you want to admit. It continues to follow you the days going forward, plaguing your mind with one question; where do you go from here?

Should you try other methods to summon a demon? Are there other methods? If so, then what? Try to find a local witch? It eats away at you and you swear you would've fallen into a manic obsession if it weren't for your friends. Like a saving grace, you get a text for an invitation to hang out on the preface that it's been a while and truthfully, it has. The last time you all had the time to gather together was before the BTS concert. At first you had wanted to decline, thinking you're not in the right state of mind to enjoy hanging out leisurely but you second guess yourself; maybe you do need a distraction, something to help clear your mind from this dark void that's taken over your life so that you can regroup and figure out what's your next best course of action.

The final push was Jaehee who practically forces you to go out at this golden opportunity, rightfully concerned about the haggard look you're starting to take on. So you pull yourself together, slap on some makeup to not look as dead on the outside as you feel on the inside, and take your ass out of the house.

It was no less a struggle, feeling as if you had to drag your feet every step of the way to the meeting spot you all agreed to. Doesn't help that the weather today was muggier than usual despite the sky being overcast, the sun constantly peeking in and out from behind the thick clouds that drift by. You don't remember it calling for rain today so you keep your fingers crossed, not liking the way some of the clouds appear darker than the others and you not bothering to bring an umbrella.

Thankfully when you reached the subway station, you're greeted by two of your friends who are already there, their cheerfulness lifting your spirits slightly.

“Y/N!!” Rosa squeals delightedly, coming to embrace you with a big hug. You let out a small 'oof' at her enthusiasm but bring your arms up to squeeze her back too.

“Hey, oh man it feels like forever since we've seen each other.” You part from Rosa to give your other friend a hug.

“Right? Oh my god...when was it? Like, before the concert?” Mei points out. “What's even sadder is that we always talked about meeting up and doing something but just...never did, for like weeks.”

Rosa laughs, “That's basically what being an adult is.”

You continue to chat idly, waiting for the rest of your other friends to show and when they do, you head on over to your favourite cafe as your first pit stop. You catch up with everyone and mainly talk about what you were all up to, which you can't exactly disclose in too much detail beyond 'working and sleeping'. It leaves much to be desired for an engaging conversation and you find yourself struggling for the first time with this disconnect, made more obvious when your friends mention any latest BTS content they've seen.

“You haven't seen this yet?!” Jess exclaims to you. She flashes you a high-definition picture no doubt taken by a fan site of Jimin on her phone, probably in the midst of their EU leg of the tour. He looks like a literal angel, dressed in all white with arms outstretched in a way that any second, you would think wings would appear, the glare of the spotlight illuminating behind him as he gazes out into the sea of purple twinkling lights. It's a breathtaking photo but right now, it's so bittersweet to be looking at him like this. Your heart clenches painfully in your chest, the emotions threatening to overwhelm you. It suddenly feels like you're living in a dream and the person you're trying to chase is nothing but a phantom, their face slowly fading from your memories and you're desperately trying to hold on.

You swallow, the tightness in your throat becoming uncomfortable as you force an apologetic smile on your face, straining. “I really didn't have time to catch up on anything lately.”

You follow your friends from one place to another afterwards, complacent in their decisions and growing more and more despondent in your responses. Whatever energy you had before to try and maintain a farce is long gone now and it doesn't go unnoticed by your group.

“Hey, you feeling okay?” Sonya asks gently, falling back to where you're hanging near the front of a cute stationary shop you all decided to randomly stop by. You go to open your mouth, ready to deny but then stop yourself, seeing no use in it. So all that comes out is a defeated sigh that has your shoulders slumping.

“Sorry, I don't know, I felt fine when I left home but I guess not...”

“Did you want to maybe get some water? I have Advil in my bag if you want. Or if you want we can walk you back home?” Sonya suggests helpfully. You give her a weak smile, declining with a wave of your hand.

“No, it's okay. Maybe if I rest a little....”

“You don't have to force yourself if you're not feeling it. If you feel like you wanna go home then we don't mind.”

You still feel guilty even though you know Sonya means everything that she says. The guilt only intensifies when the rest of your friends gather from browsing or buying something, immediately worried once they've caught on the rather serious air surrounding you and Sonya. In the end, you had decided maybe it was better to call it quits here, not wanting to trouble or ruin what was supposed to be a fun outing between friends because you're getting too much in your head. After apologizing for having to leave early and fight off their insistence on walking you back to the subway station, you part ways.

You've ended up in the deeper parts of the city, so it would take about six stops for you to get to the station nearest to your place. First though, you had a bit of a walk, either to get back to the station you exited from or the next stop over three blocks up the street, usually something you wouldn't mind if not for the looming dark clouds above you that had taken over the sky completely, plunging the world around you in a deep gloom. With no sun in sight, it makes the summer solstice 6PM look like it's winter's.

You go at a brisk pace, choosing to go back the way you came since you're more familiar with that route. The wind begins to pick up, a sure sign of the coming storm and you dread being caught out at this rate. Up ahead is a stoplight, the one where you're supposed to cross the street at but you're tempted to just cut across the road now, wanting to save time. The traffic here isn't busy with hardly any cars passing through so once you see that it's a red light on both sides, you make a run for it.

You're just about halfway to the other side when you feel the toe of your shoes catching on the asphalt and you're suddenly stumbling forward with your momentum. You're bracing for the fall but before you could let out a gasp, a strange sensation passes over you, like being suspended in midair. It goes by so quickly that you don't have the time to register the impact it makes because a split second later, a black sedan barrels past you, honking loudly as it goes and so closely you think it would've grazed your nose.

Body rigid, you're frozen from the shock, heart pounding loudly and with a mind now kicked into flight or fight mode, you sprint the rest of the way on shaky, clumsy limbs. You nearly collapse once you've reached the safety of the other side, taking deep breaths to calm yourself and the adrenaline running through you.

Either you should've looked both ways more carefully or that asshole just blew through a red light going a hundred kilometres on an eighty speed limit.

You're gonna go with the asshole because you swear the lights were red. You made sure of it.

Straightening yourself, you hoist your tote bag up your shoulders again and continue to make your way down the street. By then, it has begun drizzling, the droplets falling so erratically and lightly that they get carried by the wind. It makes it hard to avoid and only serves to further irritate you. It's a straight walk from here, you don't think you have to worry about nearly dying again so you keep your head down, one hand raised in an attempt to shield yourself from the spattering rain. You turn the corner at the end of the block, peering up to see the tall station street sign looming ahead and you've never been more relieved, powering on to reach it if only to escape the steadily increasing downpour.

So caught up in closing the last bit of distance, you're jerked out of your focus when there was a loud shout of alarm.

“HEY WATCH IT!”

Instinctively, your steps slow, body turning towards the noise in trying to find the owner of the voice. Your eyes whip to see a few people huddling under an overhang to a high-rise building you passed but what's more concerning is where their gaze is focused – widen in fear, their necks craning up, and some even rushing towards your direction, waving frantically to get your attention. It's when you follow their line of sight do you understand why.

Three stories high you spot the outlines of glass panels that line the edges of the balcony, only to your horror, many of them were teetering precariously off of their hinges with no hopes of hanging on because seconds later, their weight gives way and two of them begin to free fall.

Right above you.

You hear rather than see the first one crashing onto the pavement mere inches behind you, the sound much like that of rolling thunder that you can easily mistaken it as part of the stormy weather. You think you feel the pinpricks of glass shards spraying up to scratch your legs but all you can think is where was the second panel? You feel like you can't move your legs fast enough, so frazzled with your mind racing to barely process what is happening and eyes searching wildly but seeing nothing as if you've been blinded.

A chill runs through you then, an icy cold grip that holds you hostage and you wonder idly if this is how you're really going to die. A poor, unfortunate girl who met her demise because of some rotten luck and a freak accident.

And there it was again, that weightless feeling surrounding you, except now there's a distinct tugging as you feel yourself being pulled backwards. All at once, a flash of light goes off right in front of you, shimmering so brilliantly in an arc shape that it has you shutting your eyes, hands thrown up in protection and a gust of air whistles past your ears along with another resounding crash. It's so strong you momentarily feel the rain stop falling around you and you trip backwards, landing on your behind in a crumpled mess.

When you finally open your eyes, you're staring at a pile of frosted glass right where you had been standing, the glittering shards curving outward as if something had forced it away. You can't stop the tremors that shake through your body, breath coming out in short gasps.

What was that just now? There's no way that couldn't have hit you, you practically had a target marker right over your head for it.

Your head is spinning, barely hearing how a small crowd begins to gather around you, some approaching you while there are others who are on their phones, no doubt calling the fire department to report the incident. You're helped to your feet, are asked if you're injured and if you needed medical help, all of which you answer no thoughtlessly. You're more concerned with something else.

There's something else at work here; the first time you would've brushed it off as a trick of your mind but this time, it's just too coincidental. You swivel your head around, not even sure what you're looking for but you can't stop the traitorous surge in hope within you.

You nearly miss it.

Through the dispersing crowd you see two shadowy figures, concealed in the depths of an alley, so well hidden thanks to the darkness of the looming clouds and the still cascading rain. You stare with baited breath, watching the scene unfold as one of the figure grips the other in their hand, raising them until their feet dangled off the ground. They struggle uselessly and claw at the strong hold to no avail. Then, with an inhumane strength, they are slammed into the wall as if they were a rag doll. But to your shock, the crumpled body dissolves in a flurry of ashes and smoke, a few flickers of orange light seeping through before disappearing like dying embers on coal. You dare not take your eyes away, much less blink in fear of it being merely an illusion.

Yet the image before you doesn't fade, even though it seems like you're the only one who can see it. You watch the way the now lone figure struggles to remain upright, a hand reaching up to grasp at their head as if suddenly hit with a wave of nausea. It's then you realize they had been wearing a hood because the dark fabric falls away then, revealing to you a pale face you had not seen in so long.

“Jimin....” His name falls from your trembling lips in a mere whisper before you can stop yourself, breath caught in your throat and as if he had heard you, his gaze whips to your direction.

Your eyes lock on the familiar glow of crimson. Your heart lurches.

And then he takes off.

Panicked, you scramble to push past the few lingering bodies out of your way, feet kicking into a dead sprint, eyes never leaving his retreating back. You rush into the alley without a second thought, weaving and dodging the waste, dumpsters and other things that were lost and abandoned there. You're panting in your efforts to keep up, barely having time to call out to him but try as you might, you cannot hope to catch up to someone who's abilities far outweighs your own and after minutes of winding and sharp turns, you lose sight of him.

You come to a halt, lungs burning from exertion as your eyes dart this way and that but come up empty in what you're looking for. You curse loudly, distress taking over as you grab a fistful of your own hair. After the adrenaline begins to die down, you begin to take in your surroundings. So caught up in your pursuit of him, you failed to notice the unfamiliar streets you've ended up on. You don't know how far you've strayed, can't tell whether going up or down would be the best option in finding your way back but above all, you can't believe you let him slip from your grasp like that.

“Fuck....!” You hiss again, hands balling themselves into fists. The boiling anger makes you tremble more than the cold rain that begins to soak into you; anger at yourself for being so helpless, anger at Jimin for how distant he's become with no explanation. Were you not worth telling anything important to? The thought quells the anger to a hurt and the realization that your fears are more than likely to be true. Yet still, you don't want to confirm them, stubborn to deny it until you get answers – you needed proof. And the only way you're going to get that is to get to the bottom of it, no matter what. With nothing more to gain standing there, you reluctantly turn back to the way you came, mind frayed at the seams from all that has happened.

You don't make it two steps before someone grabs you and your screams are smothered by a hand.

#jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #park jimin x you #jimin x you #supernatural bts fic #jimin fanfics #jimin imagine #jimin angst #park jimin fanfic #jimin fic #park jimin fic #jimin fluff #jimin insert fic #jimin insert reader #jimin imagines #bts fanfic #bts fics #jimin fics #park jimin angst

[sevensoulmates]

okay wait hold on, I was rewatching season 3 in preparation for the finale and....we all know the scene in Fools when Eddie introduces himself to the teacher with "please call me Eddie. it's short for..." and the teacher automatically says "edmundo?" Idk this is probably not a hot take and has been said before, but I don’t care I gotta talk about it. It just hit me like...Why did Eddie feel the need to tell her his full name in the first place? Especially since only his family (Abuela, Pepa, his parents) calls him that.

Like Eddie is a fairly common name. Even with names that have many elongated forms like "Maddie", she never goes around saying "hi I'm Maddie, short for Madeline/Madison/Madonna" even when she meets a cute guy (ie. has a reason to be nervous/talkative like Eddie was in this case.) ((in fact we don’t even know Maddie’s full name??)))

Eddie’s response is pleasant surprise and to say “Most people guess Eduardo.” And who is “most people” in this case? The only person to ever ask Eddie for his full name on screen is Buck. And he guessed Eduardo (the more common name) before being corrected. That's the only time we have ever seen anyone making a distinction about Eddie's name on screen. So why purposefully make a call back to this during this scene?

They very easily could've had the dialogue be straightforward "Hi Mr.Diaz." "Please, call me Eddie." and continued right on with the "flirting" as normal.  That would’ve done the job of tearing down the professional wall between them just fine. They would’ve gotten to first name basis anyway. And it would make the scene purely about the new bond he's forging with the teacher and NOT make the audience think of ANOTHER character who isn’t physically there (and who many of us honestly would’ve expected to be there if Carla wasn’t.)

By making their first ever interaction have a very distinct and very memorable call back to Eddie's first real introduction to Buck and how he guessed Eddie's full name WRONG, (and showing how in contrast Ms. Flores KNEW it right off the bat), the general audience is pulled out of focusing on Ms. Flores and Eddie, and is now trying to think “hey where have I heard this exchange before?”. Or if you’re someone who immediately remembered Buck and Eddie’s first exchange you’re thinking “why on earth did they reference Buck during this scene that’s supposed to be sparking flames for this new love interest?”

By calling back to how Buck got the name wrong and Ms. Flores got the name right, the audience is supposed to be remembering Buck in this instance. When Eddie is meeting a new "love interest". The first female one since Shannon (I do not at all count Lena as a love interest).

So why make us think of Buck? One reason for this might be because they want to show that Ms. Flores would instinctively "know" Eddie better than Buck (his best friend and majorly implied co-parent). So she's supposed to be the perfect fit for him at first glance. She would understand his family background, she has a connection to Christopher, she thinks he’s a good father AND she’s pretty and female. But why feel the need to make this distinction? Supposedly, Buck has never been and never will be a romantic partner to Eddie right?

Shouldn't we at this point be thinking “Hey, Eddie's a red blooded heterosexual man. Of course he'd be attracted to Ana right away.” The general audience should just assume he's just a boy and she's just a girl can I make it any more obvious? Instead the script has a direct call back to Buck in order to make it seem like Ana is better for Eddie than Buck (the person he has the closest bond with of anyone on the show who is not his kid). Because Ana guessed his name right, and Buck guessed it wrong. But why would we even be considering Buck a contender for Eddie if we're supposed to be assuming both Eddie and Buck are straight until proven gay?

It just doesn’t make any sense to me why this line was written this way, if we’re purely only supposed to be seeing Ana and Eddie as a distinctive couple on their own. Or one who might become one. Why paint their “meet-cute” in such a way that we’re supposed to be thinking about and comparing Ana to Buck from the very beginning?

And this is regardless of whether or not Ana and Eddie eventually become a thing, or if she just has a few cameos and her relationship with Eddie is never explored again. The whole point is this one line of dialogue frames Ana and Buck as rivals. And romantic ones at that. Nobody is out here thinking Ana’s competing to be Eddie’s new bff. Why is the show wanting us to subconsciously think of Ana as a rival to Buck? Established buddie shippers would’ve been #TeamBuck from the start, even without mentioning/calling back to Buck at all in this scene. So why add that line in?

idk man, it just seems like too pointed a line of dialogue to just be poking fun at buddie shippers like haha of course the female love interest got Eddie's name right, they're not gay blah blah okay Karen but make it make sense otherwise?

if someone can it explain to me how this tomfoolery makes heterosexual sense then I will personally wipe my clown makeup off.

#buddie #911 fox #buck x eddie #911 meta #buddie meta #3x12

[iiworldtour]

i think your theory could be correct, or i’m believing it is until proven it’s not 😂😂 (we are all perpetually in a state of clowning i’d say ☠️🤡)

also omg i’m honoured to be your first ever ask 🥺💕

exactly! honestly clowning and just coming up w theories ab what might be coming in the future is fun skskdkkd

and hehe thank you, i am honoured also @phantangled <3 🥺

#idk how this works does it tell u i answered or should i tag you djdjdj #i’ll @ you anyway hehe

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #214: Three Angels Fallen!

December, 1981

Mission: Capture the GHOST RIDER!

Ha ha good luck with that

Tony he’s steaming you inside your own armor like a lobster you fool

Also I may be easy to impress but I do like the flame effects over the Avengers logo.

Also: hot dang Spider-Man AND some amazing friends? Those lucky NBC viewers!

So last time on Avengers time: Hank Pym Yellowjacket came back onto the Avengers and he was a jerk! He attempted to be the hero guy by shooting Elf-Queen in the back when Captain America had charisma’d her into not attacking.

Then the Avengers put him under court martial!

Given three days to prepare his defense, he instead built a killer robot to murder his friends and was shocked when the robot tried to murder his friends! He sadly walked away from the team before they could tell him to leave!

This time: that stuff all made the news.

How awkward for Hank Pym. And how awkward for the Avengers. And just how very, very awkward.

Wow, if you zoom into the news article, it’s actually a better recap than my last time thing.

Anyway. Aside from stuff that we know happened, the takeaway is that after Hank Pym left in a daze, he’s gone missing for two days. And the whole world knows what Hank did, at least in regards to the Elf-Queen and Sal incidents.

And Captain America is dealing with his turmoil by engaging in basement gymnasium work out.

Its fun how the Avengers’ workout room just migrates around the mansion.

So Cap is punching a robot training dummy to shards with his bare gloved fists and its not actually making him feel better.

Tigra is revealed to be just casually chilling up in the rafters because she likes being high.

Speaking of, I’m pretty sure she just neatly slotted into Beast’s role on the team. She’s furry and she’s sort of the clown of the team.

Tigra tells Cap to lighten up but when he keeps punching a robot she figures he wants to be alone and swings out the door.

She not-literally runs into Jarvis and they have a brief disagreement on etiquette.

Tigra: “Jarvis! Hiya!”

Jarvis: “Good day, madame!”

Tigra: “C’mon, Jarv! Call me Tigra willya? I’m not a ‘madame’! Just a cat!”

Jarvis: “In any case, madame...”

With that not dealt with, Tigra questions why Cap is so messed up over this Yellowjacket thing. Because as far as Tigra can tell, Yellowjacket is a creep who got what he deserved!

She’s really only seen Yellowjacket Hank Pym at his exact worst. And who knows how much attention she paid to the minutiae of the Avengers roster before joining. And per Jim Shooter’s argument anyway, Hank was never the standout Avenger so imagine joining the Avengers and learning that the guy that was Also There would do stuff like yell at his wife until she cried, hit his wife, accuse Captain America of slandering him and build a robot in case his court martial went against him.

She has zero positive social interactions with this guy!

Tigra: “Good riddance, I say! I mean, you only had to see the way he treated the Wasp to know he was a first class rat.”

Jarvis: “You are mistaken, madame! I have known Dr. Pym for years! He is a fine man... a good man! I have never seen him flinch from any danger or duty no matter how fearsome or grim! Truly, he is a hero!”

“Men are fallible -- even heroes -- and Dr. Pym, like any man must bear the consequences of his actions! Judge him not too harshly, madame -- until you have proven yourself as he has!”

Tigra: “He’s proven he’s a rat to me! Anyway, I hope Cap gets over this!”

Jarvis: “As do I, madame!”

Meanwhile, at the Windows of the World Bar, a bar that was in the twin towers back in the heady year of 1981.

A waiter named Mario startles in amazement as he sees Thor fly by the window of Windows of the World. Wow, maybe he’s coming here. Mario thinks how cool it would be if Thor was coming to the bar and he could wait on a real live Avenger. As he serves a Dr. Pepper to Tony Stark.

Tony can’t help but reflect on the irony because this guy is going to be waiting on two Avengers because Thor, as Completely Normal Expert Surgeon Dr. Donald Blake, is coming to meet with him.

The reason why Tony asked to meet specifically with Dr. Donald Blake is because he wants his medical opinion on the strange case of Hank Pym.

Blake immediately points out that he’s not a psychiatrist but then gladly gives his opinion anyway.

Donald Blake: “Well, I’m not a psychiatrist, Tony, but obviously he’s had a breakdown! Most likely it was caused by stress! Since he recently rejoined the Avengers, I suspected he was demanding too much of himself -- but then I think he always has! I often considered trying to talk to him about it, but... you know, even before we confided in each other about our civilian identities we were close friends as Thor and Iron Man... but neither of us were close to Hank!”

I guess that’s true. Interesting to think though that these guys were the founding Avengers but while Iron Man and Thor became close friends in and out of costume, Hank Pym whose identity has been open for a while didn’t really have close friends on the Avengers.

Yeah, sure, they’d go to bat for him. But there’s this distance. But Jan became good friends with everyone. Naturally gregarious, her. So its not just a case where she and Hank were off in their own social unit and separate from the Avengers or the commuting distance.

But like I said, they’ll go to bat for Hank. Blake thinks that his breakdown can be treated but that the treatment will be expensive.

Tony “Money is no problem!” Stark says money won’t be a problem. He’ll pay for Hank’s treatment.

Blake points out that Hank might be too proud to accept charity so Tony decides he’ll give him the money “and a job at Stark International! I’ll work his tail off ‘til it’s paid back, if that’s the way he wants it!”

That’s our Tony!

I wonder what the end plan there is. After his treatment is Tony thinking Hank will just come back to the Avengers? I wonder if he’s talked to Wasp about this hypothetical plan.

Because that’d be a thorny situation.

Speaking of, over at the house of Wasp:

“She is Janet Van Dyne Pym -- an Avenger,  in her guise as the Wasp. She is heiress to a large fortune. This house is hers. As is anything else that she desires, if money can buy it. Most women would envy her -- and yet in recent times she has been unhappy. The contentment she feels now has grown only during the last two days -- since the disappearance of her husband.”

And she is at work sketching fashion designs. She is a fashion designer.

Jenkins the probably butler comes in to tell Janet a thing.

Jenkins: “Mrs. Pym -- ?”

Jan: “Jenkins, I asked you not to call me that! Ms. Van Dyne, if you please, or ‘hey you,’ but --”

Jenkins: “Yes, madame, but, um you have a visitor -- Mr. Pym! Do you wish to see him, madame?”

Jan: “Not really... but I suppose it’s necessary. All right, Jenkins, my shades are discreetly in place! Lead me to him!”

Jenkins: “Does your eye still hurt a great deal, madame?”

Jan: “Yes... and it’s still swollen shut -- but you know, Jenkins. I’m seeing more clearly than ever, now!”

So Jan goes to see Hank.

Apparently he’s been wandering around in a fugue state for two days since the court martial.

Hank says that Jan probably hates him but she corrects him. She pities him. But not enough to put up with him anymore.

And she demands a divorce.

Hank: “Jan, I know it’s too late to talk, but I want to anyway! How’s your eye? I guess I gave you quite a shiner, huh?”

Jan: “‘Shiner’ is a cute word for something that’s painful and humiliating! It makes me sick... and so do you!”

Hank: “I -- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hit you! I was upset!”

Jan: “You were more than upset, Hank! You’re a deeply troubled man! You need help!”

Hank stammers, and seems to be wishing that Jan could help him. Or wishing that Jan could understand him. Or that Jan could do something.

Jan: “Sorry, Hank! For years, I lived for you, clinging to you and worshiping you to support your fragile ego! I submerged myself completely to prop you up! No more! Never again! Now, please leave!”

Wow.

This is the very thing I was complaining about last issue with Jan’s sexy talk at Hank. Shooter played me for that exact reaction.

Anyway, she really wants him gone. Now. And two days was enough time that she’s had all his stuff packed up in one of her cars so he can gtfo. She even offers to give him a bunch of money to live on if it’ll get rid of him.

But Hank refuses to take her money. He doesn’t want anything more from her. He seemingly recognizes that he’s hurt her enough. And when she asks how he’ll live, he says he can live off his income from his books and patents.

He’ll be fine.

He won’t be fine.

There’s a scene transition to a seedy motel and a melancholic Hank sitting on the bed as the narration lets us know that actually Hank is deeply in debt and had to sell his patents years ago. All his books are out of print.

I know that he rankled at being supported by Jan but still, how did he end up in debt? Geez, Hank, you’re bad at finance.

“Though he has known gnawing doubt and discontent for months, his expulsion from the Avengers plunged him into agonizing despair beyond his darkest imaginings. He believed that day to be the absolute nadir of his life -- until an hour ago, when he ultimately, irrevocably lost his wife.”

Well.

I actually sort of imagine that if he hadn’t ghosted for two days, Jan wouldn’t have come to the decision to divorce him and cut him out of her life as soon as possible.

She was still in his corner despite what he did. He kept mum on the murder robot, hoping that the court martial would go well, that he had prepared some sort of defense that wasn’t. The thing that he actually said.

I actually suspect that it was disappearing for two days is what made up her mind. The last rocky bit of their relationship was paved in Hank’s emotional unavailability. He wouldn’t let her in. I think spending three days locked up in a murder robot lab instead of talking to her kind of says it all. And disappearing for two days after puts an exclamation on the sentence.

Anyway, I’m glad that he did disappear those two days. All that stuff Jan said about submerging herself for him rings true. I’d much rather she hadn’t been hurt at all but I’ve heard that this post Hank period of her life is a kind of renaissance for her.

She’s really going to spread her wings, if you’ll forgive the pun.

And to borrow a phrase. She’s more interesting without him.

So back at Avengers Mansion, Cap is still. Just. Beating the shit out of the exercise equipment. Geez, Cap.

If you haven’t worked out your frustrations at this point then I don’t know that breaking more equipment is going to!

Jarvis comes in with a lemonade for Cap. A lemonade and a heaping scoop of tell him to get his shit together.

Through. Geez. Through some reverse psychology spiel about the nanny state? Geez, Jarvis. C’mon.

Jarvis: “Years ago, people spoke with reverence about something called ‘the American Dream’! They believed that any man was free to go as far and high as his wits, courage and determination might carry him... They knew that, as with any dream, there was a risk! A man might fail! These days many people want to eliminate the risk! They think some ‘big brother’ should ensure that everyone succeeds!”

Cap: “I know! That’s foolish!”

Jarvis: “But, you see, they claim that things aren’t fair -- that one may be a good man and try very hard and still not achieve his goal!”

Cap: “That’s true! It’s not always fair! No one ever said it would be! Whatever the goal, there will always be some good men who fall short for some reason -- but the best of them will pick themselves up and go at it again, until -- Hmm... All right, Jarvis, I get the message! I’m going to stop being a ‘big brother’ -- stop blaming myself for Hank’s failure... and trust in the fact that, deep down, he’s one of the best!”

Don’t love the ideological argument that got him there but glad to see Cap buck up.

So we scene transition again and time transition to a different person in a different mood.

Johnny Blaze is sitting on an outcropping over a mountain road watching the traffic go by.

He’s in a dour mood because he lost his title as world champion motorcycle stunt rider. And apparently the last dregs of his self-respect.

I have no idea what’s going on in the Ghost Rider book but apparently his life has imploded.

So as he sees some “rich, carefree son of a gun” driving around in his sixty grand custom Ferrari while he himself doesn’t even know when he’ll be able to afford a meal again, why it makes him mad.

Valid.

And he decides hey the world has wronged him so why not lash out a little, as a treat. Starting with the dick in the Ferrari.

And the dick in the Ferrari just happens to be Warren Worthington III, the former X-Man known as Angel.

Also, Ghost Rider’s former teammate on the very short-lived Champions team.

So Ghost Rider pulls alongside Warren’s car in his motorcycle and pops a 200 MPH wheelie to get ahead of the car so he can stand right in the middle of the road.

Warren is apparently a nice guy so instead of going ‘fuck that skeleton bastard’ and running him over, knowing he’ll be fine, Warren swerves.

But he swerves going 190 MPH. And crashes his expensive car into a rock busting it up.

And then dick ‘the middle of the road is a fine place for a stand’ Ghost Rider yanks Warren out of his busted up car and rips his shirt off.

Because he wasn’t actually sure it was really Warren? Maybe Ghost Rider has trouble with facial recognition.

Anyway, Ghost Rider is like ‘race me, nerd!’ and when Warren doesn’t want to Ghost Rider goes “You will do as I say... or perhaps I shall give this woman of yours a kiss, eh?”

Not great, Ghost Rider. This is a bad look for you.

Warren agrees to the race.

So to prepare, Ghost Rider creates a motorcycle out of flame. Hm? What happened to the other motorcycle? Disintegrated off-panel. Ghost Rider mentions that its a big drain to create the motorcycle and that this might give Warren an advantage.

Its all a bit clunky so I think the artist drew Ghost Rider making the motorcycle and forgot that the motorcycle was already out. So then the dialogue had to cover the lapse.

You see that some of the times.

Anyway, the race starts and Ghost Rider immediately starts winning. Even having to deal with the rough terrain, his flaming cycle just go nyoom.

This race doesn’t have any explicit stakes though. And figuring he has nothing to gain nor to loooooooose now that his girlfriend Candy is out of reach, Warren decides he’s just going to beat up Ghost Rider.

So he pours on the speed in a power dive to catch up and hammer punches him off the motorcycle.

Warren decides that might as well have a conversation with the guy.

Warren: “Threatening Candy was a bad idea, Blaze! You used to be on the good guys’ side! What’s wrong with you -- ? What’s gotten into you?”

Ghost Rider: “It’s not what’s gotten into me, cretin! It’s what’s gotten out! I am the living spirit of vengeance! Once Johnny Blaze tempered my wrath with his mercy and compassion, but, no more! To Hades with his heroic altruism and polite fairness! My way is swift and sure! When there is injustice the Ghost Rider craves vengeance -- ! And it shall be mine!”

And then he sets Warren on fire.

Geez, Ghost Rider.

And he used hellfire too, which burns the soul instead of the flesh.

“And an angel falls screaming to the Earth.”

One-third of a title drop!

Ghost Rider takes off on his motorcycle, cackling into the night.

Nine hours later, Warren is in a coma in the hospital. Candy has tried calling the Avengers, hoping to get Beast since he was a friend of Warren’s.

But whoops! Beast left the team recently! But unwhoops! Cap decided that this looks like a job for the Avengers anyway!

Not like he had anything better to do.

Look at him. He was playing a World War II video game.

That scamp.

But after promising that the Avengers would come to Alkalai Flats, Cap realizes that the Avengers are short-handed. Yellowjacket was booted from the team, obviously. But Wasp has taken herself off the active list.

So they’re down to four people (and after they made such a big deal trying to pare down the team, womp womp! Bet you wish Jocasta were still around!) but Cap figures eh what the heck, I bet Thor, Iron Man, Tigra, and Captain America is enough to handle a character called ‘Ghost Rider’!

Which makes me think he has no idea what they’re getting into and that makes me laugh.

Anyway, the next day in Alkalai Flats, New Mexico.

Johnny Blaze working as the pump guy at the local gas station. Remember when pumps were manned? Me neither. Apparently it was a thing in the wild 80s.

Johnny is thinking wow he really should have skipped town after he forced Ghost Rider down and took control back. He feels really sore about lashing out at the world. But he feels so guilty about what he did that he can’t leave until he knows Warren’s going to be okay.

So he got a job pumping gas so he can afford to eat. And he visits the hospital everyday to check on Warren.

And then the Avengers arrive, touching down at the local airfield.

The Avengers, being Avengers, take some time to sign some autographs. Well, Cap, Tigra, and Thor do. Iron Man goes to talk to Mayor Obadiah, the sheriff, the postmaster, and the chamber of commerce.

Its all the same guy.

That sure is a collection of power in one pair of hands! And can one person really be a chamber? Aside from Jonothon Starsmore, I don’t mean him.

Anyway, the airfield is a distance from the town so Iron Man asks where he can rent a car (from the mayor) who takes them to the motel (owned by the mayor).

There’s some fun dialogue here as the mayor calls Iron Man “Mr. Man” and when Iron Man says “uh... that’s Iron Man” the mayor switches to “Mr. Iron.”

And there’s another fun moment as the mayor/sheriff/postmaster/etc drive them to town in the back of his pickup with Tigra snarking at Thor who is standing arms akimbo that even he can’t look classy in the back of a pickup.

Before calling herself a liar in her thoughts.

This whole sequence is just a little bit goofy and I love it.

I wonder if Iron Man more deeply regrets this than the time he had to commandeer a bus.

(Aww, look at Thor waving to the crowd)

But this goofy little sequence is great especially considering what we got last time. And even at the beginning of this issue. Its nice to deescalate the tone a bit.

Iron Man and Thor fly off in separate directions to look for Ghost Rider, unaware that Johnny Blaze saw them arrive at the hotel and went ‘welp! Time to lie low!’

And Tigra decides: “If I’m going to go prowling around the West I think I ought to be dressed appropriately!” and walks into a clothing store.

The ladies running it don’t quite know what to make of any of this. Especially when Tigra keeps talking.

Tigra: “Ah’d like to buy some fancy duds fer huntin’ down a certain varmint owlhoot who’s been terrorizin’ these here parts, ma’am.”

Evalyn: “Beg your pardon -- ? Say, miss, aren’t you one of those Revengers?”

Tigra: “A-vengers! Yes, ma’am!  And yes, my entire body is covered with fur! And, yep, I’m a bona fide cat lady! Yes, I adore fish! No, I don’t eat little friskies, and I don’t take baths by licking myself! Any other questions?”

Evalyn: “What size are you dear?”

With that settled, Tigra decides to try on everything and tells them to bill the Avengers.

I thiiink I know why Tigra wanted so badly to join the Avengers now.

And, hey, understandable! Spending Tony Stark’s money in between doing superhero stuff is a great lifestyle if you can get it.

Its funny because she just got a check for a thousand dollars two days ago.

Tigra has been a very fun character so far if you very purposefully subtract the uncomfortable harassment of Jarvis.

But its nice that someone on the team is having a good time.

I do wonder if she’s absorbing traits from the absent Jan? Huge shopping spree in the middle of a mission is something I can imagine being written for the Wasp. Although the end result is decidedly more Tigra.

Anyway, having purchased a sexy cowgirl outfit to her liking, she goes to find Cap.

And Cap is talking to a mechanic. Cap wants a motorcycle. Adamson the mechanic has a motorcycle. He wants to lend Cap the motorcycle for free in thanks for his service to the country. Cap, being Cap, insists on paying $50 a day.

And that’s how Cap gets a motorcycle that he is inevitably going to break.

Cap: “Well... hello, podner!”

Tigra: “Hiya, Cap! Got room for a catty cowperson?”

Cap: “Hop on!”

Of all the things, I didn’t expect Cap and Tigra to be on the same bad faux western talk train together.

Tigra: “Whee! This is fun! Great idea, Cap!”

Cap: “It’ll help us cover more ground!”

Okay so they’re not entirely on the same page.

This has been a very fun two pages.

So the Avengers spend the whole day fruitlessly searching. Its a good thing that its a slow day in New York. But honestly, Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four can probably handle holding down the fort.

The next day, they’re still looking!

I wonder how much time they were willing to put into this if nothing came up? But then something comes up!

Local child Kim decided that he’d tie a blanket around his neck and play Thor up on a water tower.

I cannot believe that Thor is a bad example by proximity. Geez, Thor. Try to consider who you are adjacent to.

Kim’s mother runs and finds Johnny Blaze who is just about to skip town, having realized that if Angel wakes up, he is S O L.

But Johnny Blaze can’t let a child fall to his death and against his better judgement decides to change into Ghost Rider.

Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider: “He’ll fall any minute! I can’t reach him in  time! No one could... except... the Ghost Rider! He could! But, do I dare change? If I do -- will he save the boy? I’ve got to chance it! Got to remember I’m doing this to save the kid! Must save the child! The child... Bah! Forget the child! If he should die by his own hand, what does the Ghost Rider care? What is there to avenge? But the Avengers dare to hunt me! There is an affront that the Spirit of Vengeance cannot ignore!”

And then Ghost Rider just ghost rides away from the water tower.

But never to fear! Iron Man swoops in out of nowhere.

Iron Man: “Pardon me, young man, but I couldn’t help but noticing your unusual radar blip!”

Kim: “I-Iron Man?”

Iron Man: “That’s me! It’s all right now, soon -- but don’t ever do this again!”

See, Thor? You should constantly tell children not to try cool things, just in case.

Miles away, Ghost Rider vrooms past Cap and Tigra on their rented motorcycle and then zooms off telling them to give chase, IF THEY DARE.

Zooms off right along the median divider.

Tigra is like uh I don’t think chasing the guy with the flaming head is a good idea, uh Cap we’re driving on the wrong side of the highway, uh I think he’s leading us into a trap but Cap says “Don’t distract me! I think we’re gaining on him!” like he’s a suburban dad on a road trip vacation, about to inevitably take the wrong exit.

Anyway, Ghost Rider leads them into a box canyon.

While he drives straight up the wall, Cap can’t do that no matter how cool he is. So he just crashes into the wall while yelling at Tigra to brace herself.

To her credit, Tigra is flung off the bike and lands on her feet because cat powers. But Cap takes a rough tumble. Plus, he wrecked the bike and that was a loaner! Geez, Cap!

Oh, and Ghost Rider pops up behind them and sets them both on fire. And by that I mean sets their souls on fire because thats PG for some reason while having all your skin burned off is decidedly not.

“Streams of hellfire spurt from the demon’s outstretched hands -- washing over Tigra and Captain America, seizing them in its crackling embrace. The flames bite deep into their souls, and in a searing instant, they know what it is to be dragged eternally thruogh the pits of Hades. Their screams echo through the canyons -- and do not go unnoticed.”

Geez.

Kind of an overreaction honestly, Ghost Rider.

But like the block quote said, their screams didn’t go unnoticed and Iron Man flies in their direction to find Ghost Rider surfing on his motorcycle.

This is a weirdly, morbidly jolly Ghost Rider, isn’t he?

Anyway, Iron Man tackles him off his motorcyle, boasting that his armor can withstand any fire that Ghost Rider can generate.

Hey, kids in the audience!

Er, uh, hey, anyone at all in the audience?

Can you guess the logical flaw in Iron Man’s statement?

Is it...

That he has eye holes and a mouth hole cut out of his helmet and his face is now on fire?

If you guessed that ahead of looking at the panels, congratulations! You are now the proud owner of 10 Fun Time Avengers Reward Points. These can hypothetically be exchanged for fun prizes.

Also: I’m being reminded of Transformers trauma and I don’t like it.

So then Thor swoops down to take his swing at things.

Ghost Rider shoots FIRE EYE BEAMS at the thunder god but Thor just walks out of the flames like a cool guy.

This Thor, what a cool guy.

And then he throws his mighty mallet Mjolnir with a boast:

Thor: “It serves you well to claim kinship with the devil men name in their religions! Liar! You are but a creature of dark magic, a demon from some hellish mystic realm! I, too am a being from a mystic realm! I know what you are -- and I fear thee not! The hammer of the thunder god shall smite thee down, false one!”

Ghost Rider jumps on his motorcycle and... okay this is too good. I have to show you this in its entirety.

So Ghost Rider outraces Mjolnir and then grabs the hammer as its looping back to Thor and lets it carry him at great speed right at Thor so he can bowl Thor over with his motorcycle.

All while laughing like this is just the most fun he’s ever had.

I like that he also manages to spend nearly this entire sequence dunking on Thor. That’s efficiency of screentime.

So the Avengers regroup. Well, they try.

Tigra freaks out at the thought of, y’know, having her soul set on fire again. Which. Valid.

But being an Avenger means having to do stupid stuff.

Tigra: “What?! F-face that again?! You can’t be serious! I -- I couldn’t take any more of that! Cap! You went through it too! You know what it was like! Why aren’t you afraid?”

Cap: “I -- I am! I’ve never known anything so horrifying! But we’ve got to put it behind us!”

Tigra: “I can’t! What if he burns me again! I’d go mad! Please Cap, don’t make me go!”

Cap: “Pull yourself together, girl! We may need you! Think about it -- we can’t let him hurt other people that way! We’ve got to go after him!”

Tigra: “I -- I’ll try, Cap! I’ll try!”

Mm. Tigra is the logical one for this character beat since she’s new to the team. But I dunno. It doesn’t sit entirely well that the only woman on the team is being used for this beat. I’d be more annoyed if Wasp was getting it so there’s that, I guess.

It also helps that Tony is in the background thinking

Iron Man: “I... know how you feel, Tigra! Believe me! I don’t know how you do it, Cap... no armor, no weapons, no superhuman abilities -- but you put us all to shame! What a man!”

I read that in the Ace Rimmer “What a guy!” tone.

Anyway, my misgivings are also somewhat lessened by Cap admitting he’s afraid too and later saying its not wrong to be frightened but you can’t let your fear dictate your actions.

Because “being an Avenger means having to do stupid stuff.” A very wise me once said that. I did.

So Ghost Rider is headed back to Alkalai Flats to find Warren Worthington and kick his ass.

Which is usually warranted, hah, but since Warren is still in the hospital from the previous asskicking, just feels gratuitous.

The Avengers manage to head Ghost Rider off on his way back to town and Iron Man blasts him off his bike.

Ghost Rider behaves in the classy way you’d expect of the man who once posed for this saucy picture.

Ghost Rider: “Idiots! Have you not learned to fear my wrath yet? The girl does! I see it in her eyes! Very well, let her burn first!”

And he shoots some hellfire at Tigra.

Thankfully, Captain “One Step Ahead” America was one step ahead and suspected that Ghost Rider would go after her.

Ghost Rider then turns his fire on Thor and Iron Man but they no sell it (because Iron Man remembered to seal up his armor this time).

So he tries to go after Tigra again and this time gets blocked by Thor.

Thor then pins down Ghost Rider by spinning his hammer just really super fast to create a vortex and Cap says they need to press their advantage and get Ghost Rider to surrender.

Ghost Rider: “Stupid mortals! A hell-spawned spirit cannot surrender! I fight until the vengeance I crave is mine -- or I am destroyed!”

And then Warren T. Worthington III just shows up out of nowhere and spills the beans all over Ghost Rider that this whole tantrum has been a kind of just a tantrum. Because he figured Ghost Rider needed a friend.

Ghost Rider is like “I have no friends!” defiantly and maybe doesn’t realize its a bit sad.

Warren “Angel” T. Worthington III: “I have a theory about you! I think that the more bitter and unhappy you are as Johnny Blaze, the more ruthless and savage the Ghost Rider is when he emerges! You haven’t been too happy as Johnny Blaze lately, I take it! I heard you lost your title! So you took it out on me! That was dumb enough -- but then you made it worse! You almost made it a lot worse! What if the Avengers hadn’t stopped you? Were you out to kill me? Burn the town? Where would it have ended?”

Ghost Rider insists that he seeks vengeance and Angel is like ‘ok fine then vengeance on me. Kill me, dingus.’

But he can’t do it. Or more likely Johnny can’t do it. And his head extinguishes and Johnny takes back over.

To sit on the ground with his hands over his face asking everyone to leave him alone.

The Avengers who were just kind of sitting in the background for this entire encounter, not really sure how to feel about any of this, don’t know how to feel about any of this.

Thor even wonders what to do. But Angel tells him ‘Well Technically Johnny Blaze committed no crimes and I don’t see a Ghost Rider around!’

Cap decides, yeah, this is a good ending! This is a good moment to walk away on! Not our problem anymore! Reminds him of a thing, in fact! Something from his life and maybe a conversation he had the other day?

Cap: “This reminds me of Hank in a way! He lets things get to him... made one mistake... and then made it worse!”

Tigra: “What will become of him?”

Cap: “He has help available if he wants it -- but it’s like he said -- he has a choice! No ‘big brother’ can make it for him! In the end, it’s all up to him!”

Kinda clever to make the story about the Hank Pym overarching plot without belaboring Hank Pym. The Avengers just get involved in a situation that Cap analogizes to the one that the Avengers are experiencing while Hank Pym himself only appears on a few pages. Just enough so we remember that the story is ongoing.

It also lets the story get some lighter toned stuff in the middle of the heavy stuff. Tigra is a delight in this. Even Ghost Rider with his maniacal glee at punking the Avengers is worth a chuckle.

And we get the three fallen angels of the title.

Warren T. Worthington III in a literal sense. He’s a superhero called Angel and he fell because Ghost Rider kicked his ass.

Ghost Rider because demonic related abilities and demons are said to be fallen angels.

Hank Pym because he was one of the heroes, ‘on the side of angels’ but has fallen from grace because of mistakes.

And both Ghost Rider and Hank Pym have people that are willing to go to bat for them despite the mistakes they’ve made. If they’re only willing to accept that help.

I guess Angel too had people willing to go to bat for him since the Avengers flew all the way out here to help him despite barely knowing him.

So what next for the Avengers? And what next for the fall of Yellowjacket?

Next: “Enter the Silver Surfer! Also: the End of the World!”

Dammit, the world can’t end, we’re in the middle of a character journey here!

Follow @essential-avengers because you want to know what happens next but you also want to watch me reblog older posts. Wow, I’m bad at selling this! Please like and reblog also!

#Avengers #Ghost Rider #Angel #Tigra #Captain America #Iron Man #Thor #Hank Pym #the Wasp #also move their plots along #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #first Hank was Gorn and now he's Ghost Rider? #what G person will he be next? #Tigra was having the time of her life until she caught on fire #Ghost Rider continued to have the time of his life after he caught on fire #Tigra says 'owlhoot'

[slashthedice]

hii! is it possible for you to write a nsfw imagine of Billy letting you go in a trial? similar to a micheal one uwu

This is a little different from the Michael one because I think if you want to get down and dirty with our hillbilly boy your relationship is definitely going to start out different than your relationship with Michael would (´▽｀*) This ended up becoming a full-length one-shot because I don’t know how to not go overboard, apparently. Also, I just want to explain that I headcanon that Max is capable of speaking, but it’s hard for him and can be painful. Sometimes he can’t get the words to come out right, and he gets frustrated, so he prefers to just not say anything at all. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, NSFW below! (Also tried some switching of perspective, kinda an omniscient POV going on… lmk if you guys like it or not)

It all started with you getting lost in the woods. All you had wanted was to get away from your fellow survivors. A group of them had come back from a trial and immediately started blaming each other for how it had gone. It had all come to a head when Ace made a smart comment and David threw a punch. From what you could gather, they had found themselves attempting to escape the Clown, and David blamed Ace for getting him caught. Whether or not there was truth to the accusation was unknowable, but you did know that you didn’t want to stick around for the ensuing fight. So you left.

Turning your back on the campfire was easy. However, allowing yourself to slip into the shadows between the gnarled, monstrous trees was like diving into freezing water. You immediately felt the sheer emptiness of the forest. The silence was deafening, and for the first time since you had been pulled into the Entity’s realm, you felt alone. You had never known such intimate loneliness. The knowledge that it was just you out there was stifling, without even the hollow mimicries of crow calls to give you comfort.

You should turn back, you thought as you began to waver beneath the weight of your solitude. However, you were quick to realize that you were no longer sure from which direction you had come. The trees all looked the same, and it wasn’t as if you had been following a path to begin with. The underbrush crunched beneath your feet, twigs snapping and dry leaves crackling loudly. Your body buzzed with anxious energy as your thoughts chased each other in fruitless circles of panic and fear. Your wide eyes scanned the horizon, but you saw nothing as you continued to weave between tree trunks.

You paused to take a moment to ground yourself, trying to place your train of thought back onto a more rational track. That was when you heard footsteps that were not your own. You whipped around, attempting to locate the source of the noise. Maybe one of the others had noticed your absence and come to take you back. You hoped they knew the way better than you did. Yet as you looked around, you did not find another survivor.

You saw him before he noticed you.

The misshapen, knobbly silhouette of the Hillbilly lumbered through the trees. His crooked gait and uneven steps caused his movement to be even louder than your own had been, crashing through the forest with reckless abandon. The closer he got, the more you could hear his labored, gurgling breathing as it rattled through his chest and out of his open mouth. You looked for the chainsaw and cattle hammer that you had learned to fear through repeated exposure to the acute pain they caused, but found him empty handed. You should run, you thought, but for some reason you were rooted to the spot. As you continued to watch him, you realized that there was no purpose in his steps as he limped along, he was not a predator stalking prey, but merely someone out for a stroll. He meandered past you, seemingly without a care in the world.

Once his back was to you, whatever spell it was that had frozen you released its hold. Not taking your eyes off of him you took a few steps backwards, intent on heading off in the opposite direction from where he was headed. One, two, three-- crack! The sound of a twig snapping under foot was louder than a gunshot, and unfortunately you weren’t the only one to hear it.

He stopped suddenly, straightening up as best as his distorted spine would allow before turning in your direction. His glowing eyes were visible through the mask-like coverage of his own malformed skin, and they sought you out in the gloom. You expected him to come flying at you when he found your form, to run you down like he did in trials, carving through you with the teeth of the chainsaw between the whispering stalks of corn. But he seemed just as frozen as you were. He did not move, he hardly seemed to breathe as the two of you were caught in each other’s gaze.

Finally, after a few seconds that each felt like an eternity, he began to move. You mentally began to count down the moments until he would fall upon you and tear you to shreds or bludgeon you until you were little more than a pulp of mangled flesh and bone, but instead he turned tail and ran off into the forest, as fast as his crooked legs would allow. You blinked as you watched his retreating form meld into the shadows, leaving you achingly alone once more.

He was afraid of you, you realized with a jolt.

It was mindboggling to think that a creature with the capacity to murder in such excruciating ways could possibly be scared of someone so blatantly solitary and defenseless. Even without the tools of his trade at his side, he was bigger and stronger than you, and would have no trouble bashing your head in with a rock or against a tree. He had proven time and again that he could hoist you over his shoulder with one arm like you weighed little more than a sack of potatoes, and yet you had just witnessed him flee from you in much the same manner as you and your fellow survivors had run from him in a trial. It was a puzzling turn of events to say the least.

You eventually managed to stumble your way back to the campfire. You mentioned your misadventures to noone, and none of them asked. Yet as you sat within the comforting ring of light surrounding the undying flames, you could not stop turning the nature of the encounter over in your mind. You found a dangerous sort of curiosity building within you, and it bubbled and clambered to be satisfied. Ever a servant to your own inquisitiveness, you found that you could not deny yourself.

You began to venture out into the darkness with increasing frequency in the downtime between the pain, torture, and dying. More than once, you encountered him as he meandered with the same lack of intent as he had the first time, but each time he spotted you, his demeanor changed abruptly and he ran. It was frustrating because each time you emerged with no more answers than you had entered, but more than anything these brief chance meetings were perplexing.

Finally, you decided to be more than a quiet observer, filled with a need for an explanation. As the Hillbilly turned his back on you once again to flee, you realized that you had had enough of whatever cyclical exchange (or lack thereof) the two of you had been engaged in. You were putting your foot down.

“Wait!” You cried, shattering the stillness of the darkness.

You weren’t sure how effective your plea would be in halting his retreat, but you were pleasantly surprised when his getaway was stalled. He glanced over his shoulder at you before hurriedly looking at the ground, like he wasn’t supposed to see you. But still, he remained.

You were struck momentarily by an unsureness. You honestly hadn’t expected to get this far, and suddenly all of the burning questions you had seemed to vanish from your mind. You stumbled over the multitude of possible words and phrases you could string together, finally settling on a question you had not thought to ask originally.

“Can you talk?”

His sloped shoulders were stiff as he shuffled around to face you. A sharp nod left him after a beat.

“Why do you keep running from me?”

He shrugged noncommittally, eyes flitting back and forth between you and the ground.

“What’s your name?”

He remained silent for a moment, and you thought perhaps that he either did not want to tell you or did not have a name to give.

“Max,” he said finally, voice surprisingly fragile in comparison to the rest of him. It sounded brittle, and almost as if it was painful for him to form the word.

“Okay, Max,” you felt breathless, adrenaline and excitement pulsing through you as the reality of your situation set in. You were talking to a killer! And he wasn’t trying to end your life or sacrifice you to the Entity! “I’m (Y/N).”

“(Y/N),” he repeated, and it sounded even more pained than his first word to you.

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for what you wanted to say next. “You don’t have to run, you know. I won’t hurt you if you don’t hurt me.”

He seemed to consider your offer before shuffling a little closer to where you had planted yourself. You offered him a broad smile, and that was that.

It was strange, indulging your darker more morbid desires and seeking out companionship with one of the creatures set forth by the Entity to take your life in new and torturous ways again and again and again. Still, there was something undeniably honest in your time spent with Max. He didn’t say much, preferring to listen to you tell him stories about your life before all this. You asked him once why he didn’t speak and he had merely shrugged and said “Hurts.” When your memories failed and you ran out of things to talk about from your old life, you began to supplement with new stories about your fellow survivors. You told him about the time that Jake had somehow stolen one of the Trapper’s-- Evan’s, Max had corrected you-- bear traps and then goaded David into trying to disarm it by punching the pressure plate and pulling his arm out really fast. It went about as well as could be expected, but the story seemed to delight your new found friend.

Friend. It wasn’t a word you thought you would come to associate with a killer. Hell, it was a word you were hesitant to use for the other survivors. The significance of it flitting into your subconscious thoughts was not lost on you as you smiled up at the twisted, crooked man sitting next to you on a fallen tree trunk. You realized that you had begun to harbor soft, tender feelings in the hidden part of your heart that were reserved exclusively for him. Max was awkward and unpractised in the art of friendship and human interaction, but he tried his best and it was endearing. You felt a warmth flood your chest any time he made an effort to say your name, or when you saw the way that his disfigured face would light up and he would attempt to mimic your smile when he saw you. It was a slippery slope between friendship and something more, but you were happy to dive into it headlong. 

You had not encountered Max in a trial since beginning your relationship. You tried not to think about what would happen when you did. He would have to kill you, you supposed. You doubted that the Entity would take kindly to its killers playing favorites in trials. Still, the thought of feeling the chainsaw carving through your flesh and bone was not one you took comfort in, even if it was wielded by someone you cared about. No, you concluded, that would probably make it worse.

The Entity apparently was capable of monitoring your thoughts, and as always loved a cruel sort of irony. The next trial you found yourself partaking in saw you coming to in the center of a seemingly endless sea of gently shifting and swaying cornstalks. The air smelled of freshly tilled earth and distantly of smoke. All was still for a moment, but the harsh mechanical sound of a chainsaw suddenly tore through the silence and bore into your skull.

Your chest tightened with an unfamiliar dread. It wasn’t the same as what you felt at the outset of every trial, this wasn’t colored by terror but instead a sort of despair. Max had cut you down any number of times in the past, but it was different now. Before you hadn’t known him. Then he was simply the Hillbilly, one of the monsters whose only defining feature was that he was there to kill you. Now he was Max, your friend, someone you cared about far more deeply than you had admitted even to yourself.

It seemed like no time at all before you heard the first unmistakable sound of a survivor meeting a gory, ghastly fate under the bite of whirring metallic teeth. You tried to block the sound from your mind, but the screams pierced you to your core, rattling your resolve and sending your thoughts into a tizzy. The growling of the chainsaw never seemed to cease, and you could not steady the trembling of your entire body as you tried desperately to finish the generator you were working on near the horrific Sacrificial Tree beneath which you imagined you could still hear the mournful mooing of cows. You heard a grunt and the thick, meaty sound of a hammer striking someone, and chanced a glance over the top of the machine.

Jake dashed forward, limping distinctly as he headed for the crumbling stone walls surrounding the tree. He could stall Max there, you knew, if he could find the right number of turns and leaps, and time when to drop the pallet perfectly. However, you were working diligently on a generator right here, could Jake have taken him nowhere else?

“Come on, come on,” you urged yourself under your breath. If you could finish the generators and get out, you wouldn’t have to worry about Max catching you. You wouldn’t have to face what would undeniably be a dark spot in your relationship, even if you did understand why he had to do it.

With a triumphant cry, you connected the last wires that caused the generator to spring to life. You stood quickly despite the stiffness in your knees from crouching for so long. As you did, you looked towards where you thought Jake would be only to make eye contact with Max. Time slowed to barely a crawl as you held his gaze. You fancied you would have been able to see the turning of the chain on his favored weapon if you had bothered to look, but as it was your eyes were affixed firmly upon his. For a moment, he forgot about Jake entirely as he kept looking at you. You wondered if he had considered what he would do if he encountered you like this in a trial. Something in the way he looked at you told you that he hadn’t.

“Run!”

The sudden cry from Jake startled you out of the moment in time that you had almost allowed yourself to believe you were sharing with Max alone. You turned around and fled much in the same way Max had done to you all those times, and you heard his grunt of pain as Jake dropped the pallet on his head. You felt guilty for being glad that Jake had stunned him, but you would have felt guiltier for celebrating if Jake had been caught.

Another generator clicked on a considerable distance away. You wove between corn stalks, searching for the flickering of lights that indicated an incomplete generator. You heard someone working on one before you saw the lights. You burst through the corn to find Nea crouched, elbow deep in the mechanical guts of the generator. You stumbled up next to her and immediately got to work.

“I finished one,” she said by way of greeting. “He already got Feng Min, and the Entity took her before we could get to her.”

“I did the other, last I saw Jake was looping him by the cow tree.”

It felt normal, routine to talk to a fellow survivor so matter-of-factly. You could almost forget how heartbreakingly different this trial was from normal. You put your head down and got to work, repairing as quickly as you could. You thought back to what it had been like before all of this, before the trials and the running and dying. You had known nothing about repairing anything. Now it all seemed second nature. How long had you been here? You weren’t sure.

The generator sputtering one last time before beginning it’s consistent put-put-put as it ran on its own scared you, nearly causing you to fall backwards onto your butt. Nea looked unimpressed as you staggered to your feet, and she grabbed your sleeve to drag you forward. 

“Let’s go,” she commanded, ushering you forward.

Your entire body tensed as you heard Jake scream in agony. Max had apparently finally caught up to him. You looked to Nea and she clucked her tongue as she realized the implications. The two of you had just been nearing the next generator.

She dragged a hand down her face and sighed as if the whole trial was just one massive inconvenience. “I’ll go get him,” she said, sounding none too thrilled about the rescue mission at hand.

You knew it was an act. She was skilled at avoiding killers and smart when rescuing other survivors. She wasn’t about to put forth a half-assed unhook attempt. She stalked off into the fog and corn with all the grace of a cat, leaving you alone once more.

You had trouble focusing on the generator. It had been some time since you had heard Max’s chainsaw, and there was no sign of Nea or Jake. It was quiet with the exception of the occasional crow call or the artificial wind whistling through the stalks. Your objective felt as if it was of secondary importance when compared to watching your surroundings, and on more than one occasion you caught yourself right before you were about to make a critical mistake and set back your progress. You hoped the others would emerge from the corn to join you, but they never came.

Finally you felt more than heard the burst of energy as the Entity tore its way through the sky to bear down on what must have been Jake still on the hook. How had Nea not made it to him in time? That was when a shrill scream of pained despair rang out, drowned out only by the grinding growl of the chainsaw. That wasn’t the scream of someone about to be hooked, no that was the undeniable scream of someone dying in agony. It was only you and Max now.

Since you had gotten to know him, you had never felt disquieted by the knowledge that you were alone with Max. Most of the time, you took great comfort in the solitary dynamic that the two of you had built, but in that moment seeing him was the last thing you wanted. 

You had to find the hatch.

You broke into a sprint, pushing yourself to run as fast as you could through the field, listening for that strange, otherworldly hum that the Black Lock always emitted. You craved the darkness that would swallow you whole only to deposit you back in the light of the campfire. You couldn’t bear the thought of dying at Max’s hand. You needed to escape so that you could run off into the forest afterwards to sit with him in that same aura of comfort and companionship without your blood on his hands to taint it.

Of course, nothing could be easy. Soon enough you heard the telltale grinding of chain and gears and felt your heartbeat kick into overdrive as Max sprinted at full tilt towards you. He was too fast, and there were no walls or windows for you to duck behind or jump through. Phantom pains sparked through your body as it prepared itself to be reacquainted with the exquisite torture it remembered. You dared to look at the speeding bullet of twisted skin and muscle barreling towards you, and it was hard to reconcile in your mind that this was the same Max that liked to sit quietly and listen to you tell stories.

As he closed the final few meters between the two of you, you screwed your eyes shut and waited for it to all be over. You didn’t want to see his face when he did it, didn’t want to know if he took any joy in cutting you down and carving you up. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. Although at this point you think whoever “they” are, they’re fools.

You heard the whirring come to a stop with a clunk and a grind, and after a couple seconds of silence, you dared to crack open one of your eyes. Max stared at you almost expectantly, chainsaw and hammer lowered, and posture unassuming and passive. He was waiting for you to do something, apparently just as unsure of how to deal with the situation as you were.

You opened your eyes fully and immediately felt them begin to water, a cocktail of varied emotions sweeping through you, relief and affection for the large man standing before you being the foremost. You wiped fruitlessly at the tears that now spilled over your eyes and streaked down your cheeks. Max shifted uncomfortably, obviously unsure of how to deal with your crying.

“Oh, Max,” you blubbered.

You tried to think of what to say to tell him how happy you were, how grateful. The Entity surely wouldn’t take kindly to him not harming you. It wanted a full meal of survivor souls, and Max had just denied it dessert. Words failed you, and you were at a loss, so you settled for throwing yourself bodily at him and wrapping your arms tight around his neck.

Max went stiff in your arms, clearly not expecting your display of affection. In the past, you had only been so bold as to hold his hand once, and even then only fleetingly. Max had never been hugged, had never experienced this kind of genuine, tender human emotion. He didn’t know how to respond, what was expected of him, so he froze. You would have liked for him to wrap you up in his arms in return, but you had learned enough of him by now to know that he probably had no idea that that was what he was meant to do. Max wasn’t unintelligent, but he was ignorant to many of the intricacies of human interaction.

You released your hold on him slowly, allowing yourself to lower back down to your feet. You cupped his face in your hands, smiling brightly up at him through the tears. Your heart fluttered happily when he returned it with his own crooked smile. God help you, you thought, you might just love him.

“Come on,” he prompted in his strangled, guttural voice that you so rarely got to hear. 

He led you through the corn and you were more than happy to follow. He limped just ahead of you, and you wished that he didn’t have his weapons so that you could hold his hand. You heard the hum that you had been so desperately searching for only a few minutes prior, and a fresh wave of tears gathered in your eyes. Max saw the waterworks when he turned back to present the hatch to you, and you saw the confusion and concern in his body language. He thought he had done something wrong.

You shook your head vehemently in response to his unvoiced question. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Max. I’m so happy and grateful.”

Not knowing how better to reassure him of your sincerity, you grasped the front of his ruined shirt in your hands and pulled him down to you. He could have easily resisted, but he allowed you to tug him towards you so that you could pepper his face in kisses. His skin was warm and leathery beneath your lips, but you didn’t let that faze you. In the face of your overt affection, he froze again, a reaction that was not unexpected.

The loud thunk of the chainsaw and hammer hitting the ground simultaneously startled you, but did not deter you from your continued assault of his cheeks and forehead with a flurry of hurried pecks. You could not help the joyful giggle that bubbled up in your chest when he wrapped his arms around you in the first hug he had ever given anyone. His own gurgled laugh came in response as he lifted your feet from the ground and spun you in a circle. You wrapped your legs around his hips to anchor yourself, and feeling bold, planted your lips squarely against his.

The action gave him pause. This was a new form of affection he hadn’t expected. Your lips on his face had felt nice, they kind of tickled with their feather-light brushes, but this felt entirely different. You had closed your eyes despite the way his widened, and your arms were locked firmly back around his neck. You made a sound in the back of your throat and he was suddenly acutely aware of how warm his body felt and the way you were pressed against him. He wanted to reciprocate, to let you know that he very much liked this feeling and wanted more of it.

For your part, you were enjoying kissing Max as much as he was enjoying being kissed. You would be lying if you said that you hadn’t considered what it would be like. What would his lips feel like? Would it be very difficult with the way his mouth was formed? Would he even want you to kiss him? In one moment of throwing care to the wind, you had answered all of those questions. His lips felt very much like the rest of his skin, leathery and slightly twisted, but not unpleasant in their warmth. It was not too hard, just required a slightly abnormal approach. And if the way his arms tightened around you was any indication, he definitely wanted you to continue kissing him.

You shifted against him, pelvis grinding against his, and you could not contain the gasp that left you when he whined at the feeling. There was no mistaking the heated hardness you had felt against your sex despite the separating layers of clothes. Much like your initial interaction, you found yourself at a loss, never planning for a moment such as this. You unwrapped your legs from around him and lowered your feet back to the ground. He made a sound of displeasure somewhere between a moan and a whine at the loss of friction, and looked near distraught when you pulled your lips away from his. He kept his arms wound tightly around you, unwilling to let you go just yet, not with the way his whole body was burning. The way you made him feel.

“I need you to trust me,” you whispered breathlessly, despite the fact that no one was around to hear you.

You pushed on his chest just enough to create enough space for you to maneuver. Your fingers worked quickly to unbutton your shirt and then you slid it off of your shoulders and let it fall to the ground. Your bra was next on your list of clothing that needed to come off as quickly as possible, fumbling with the clasp behind your back and sighing with satisfaction when it finally came loose. You slipped the thin straps off and you watched it tumble down to mingle with your shirt in the dust and dirt. Glancing up at Max, the best word you could think of to describe the look on his face was “awestruck”.

He had an unfamiliar desire to be the one removing your clothing, but he was loath to put a stop to what you were doing. As more and more of your silky skin was revealed to him, he felt more and more of that all consuming heat building under his skin and settling in his groin. His pants were far too tight suddenly, and he wanted them off almost as much as he wanted to peel the rest of your clothing off of you.

You felt a bubbling sort of embarrassment at the intensity with which Max stared at you, but along with it came a sense of pride. He wanted you, quite badly apparently, and that knowledge was accompanied by a warm feeling and a whole new confidence. You halted your stripping before you came to your pants, wanting to get Max out of some of his clothing. You started with the shredded tank top that hardly even qualified as a shirt anymore, coaxing him to raise his arms and allow you to divest him of the ruined garment. It was another piece added to the rapidly growing pile of clothing you were accumulating.

His exposed chest hardly appeared human, little more than a twisted mass of flesh with hardly anything you would be able to identify as anatomically natural musculature, but that did not stop you from running your hands over the expanse reverently. You glanced up at him from beneath your eyelashes, looking for any sign that he wanted you to stop. When you received no objections, you followed your wandering hands with your mouth, pressing opened mouth kisses across his chest and torso. He tasted like salt and sweat, and reacted extremely positively to this new treatment. You allowed your hands to drift lower, fingers dancing across his torso and teasing at the edge of his pants. You heard him suck in a rattling breath, and you watched him clench and unclench his hands at his sides.

“Do you want to keep going?” You asked, marveling at the husky tone of your own voice.

Max nodded sharply, a needy sound erupting from the back of his throat and surprising you both. You could not help the grin that overtook your features as he raised his hands to tug at your jeans. You obliged him, unfastening the button and sliding the zipper down before wiggling the denim down your hips with your underwear. You gave him no time at all to take in your nudity before your fingers were back at his waistband, undoing his belt and tugging it through the loops. 

As you worked at the fastenings on his dirty, distressed jeans that were just a little too big for his hips, you considered dropping to your knees and taking him in your mouth. You wondered if his cock would be as rough and irregular as the rest of his skin. What would it feel like to drag your tongue up the underside of it? What would he taste like? You could tell that he was already hard beneath the barrier his pants provided, you were willing to bet that he would be leaking precum when you finally freed him, and the thought of collecting its saltiness while lapping at the head of his length left your mouth watering.

You knew that you didn’t have the patience to follow through with that plan, and you doubted that Max would last that long considering what your admittedly tame kissing had done to him. You were fine to put that fantasy on the backburner, already wet and aching for him to fill you up. You released a shaky breath that you hadn’t known you were holding when you finally dragged the jeans down his legs and his hardened length sprung free, already twitching with precum spilling from the slit of his swollen head. His cock looked surprisingly normal, with the exception of some extra skin bunching around the base and some interesting discoloration along the shaft. The most noticeable thing about it was how big he was. Max was a large man, and his member was more than proportionate.

You wrapped your hand around him as best you could and gave him a few quick jerks with a flick of your wrist. He keened, panting under your touch and curling forward to lean his forehead against the top of your head, burying his face in your hair. You watched with nothing short of fascination as his abdominal muscles rippled and his cock twitched in your grip.

You wanted to feel him inside of you immediately.

“Max,” you cooed, prompting him to look at you.

He whined when you took your hand away from him, but was intrigued when you wrapped your arms back around his neck and pulled him down with you to the ground. You reclined backwards, ignoring how strange the dirt and soil felt against your bare skin. You parted your legs and prompted Max to kneel between them. Your hungry eyes soaked in the way his cock bobbed as he settled himself between your spread thighs. He in turn studied the way your pussy dripped with arousal, the heady scent overwhelming his senses and sending his thoughts scattering. His heart beat loudly in his chest, and he thought it might just stop when you took his hand that wasn’t supporting his weight as he loomed over you and brought it to your folds.

You were so warm and wet beneath his rough, calloused fingertips. You guided his fingers on where to touch and how much pressure to use. Your breathing came out in harsh, heavy puffs of heated air the rolled across his neck and chest. You gasped when he found your entrance and slipped one crooked finger inside. He was nearly stunned by the feeling of your silken walls clenching down on his finger. You were so tight, it was thrilling to imagine that feeling on other parts of him. Every instinct he had was telling him to bury his cock as deep as he could into that dizzying heat between your legs and to not let you go until he had filled you with everything he had.

Your instincts were apparently driving you to the same conclusion, because he had barely just began his exploration of your body before you were pushing his hand away and pulling his hips closer to the cradle of your own with your legs around his waist. You spread yourself for him and wrapped a hand around his length to guide him in. You both moaned as his head dragged along your slick, spreading his fluids across your lips and becoming coated in your arousal. His hips bucked of their own accord at the feeling, and all of his senses were suddenly screaming that it was absolutely imperative he be inside of you. You couldn’t agree more, moaning wantonly at the unbearable friction caused by the drag of his sex against your own.

“Max, please,” you begged, wiggling your hips towards him.

He didn’t need any convincing, but the sound of your pleas tumbling from you pretty lips sent a jolt down his spine and straight to his cock. With a little less delicacy than was probably due, he thrust forward, pushing into you and drawing a high-pitched wail from you as the head popped past your entrance. It took all of his self-control not to lose himself in the feeling of being wrapped in the tightness of your walls. He forced himself to still his hips in order to check on you.

Your face was flushed and glistening with a sheen of sweat. He watched a bead of it form on your forehead and drip down your reddened cheeks. You hair was slicked with it already, and your lips were parted to allow your heavy breathing and intoxicating moans to escape. Your chest heaved with each panting intake and exhale of air. Your eyes were half lidded, pupils blown wide as you took in the sight of him above you. He looked down to where the two of you were joined, and the sight alone was nearly enough to make him come undone.

He felt even better inside of you than you had thought he would. The stretch was unlike anything you had ever experienced, leaving you feeling more full than you knew you could. Every twitch and pulse of his cock was like electricity sparking through your core. You knew that he had paused for your sake, and the gesture was appreciated, but you thought you really would go insane if he didn’t start moving. You knew that anything you would try to say would come out as nothing more than garbled nonsense, so you took matters into your own hands and rolled your hips into his.

That first undulation of your pelvis grinding into his had Max seeing stars. He never knew he could feel anything like this. He must have done something very right for the Entity to allow this, to allow him to have a chance to experience this. You had to be a gift, a reward that he couldn’t imagine he could possibly deserve. He was frozen by the immense pleasure that threatened to overwhelm him.

You cupped his face in your smaller hands and forced him to look at you. “Max, I need you to move.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. His first few thrusts were stuttered and jerky, but he soon fell into a rhythm that rapidly pushed you both towards your ends. His hips pistoned into yours, drilling his cock into the most sensitive parts of your eager cunt. The sound of skin against skin and varied grunting, moans, and gasps comprised the soundtrack of your coupling. Your hands gripped his biceps as you clung to him for dear life, fingers dragging over his twisted skin and feeling the metal staples embedded into parts of his flesh.

Max looked down at your body beneath his with a sort of disbelief. Each sharp slam of his lower body against yours sent a jolt through yours. Your breasts bounced tantalizingly, and he had the sudden urge to capture one of their rosy peaks in his mouth. He lamented that your current position didn’t allow for him to fulfill that fantasy comfortably, and saved such an idea for if he should be so lucky that you would allow him this again. You gripped him so well, your body tight and wet and warm around him. He felt a sort of tightening in his lower body and was spurred on to thrust faster into you, causing your staccato moans to turn into unintelligible mewling.

You knew Max was close, his thrusts were becoming sloppier and more disjointed, and his breathing was harsh and strained above you. You were quickly approaching your own climax, but you knew that you wouldn’t come before he finished. That didn’t stop you from meeting his thrusts as best you could with what little leverage you had. The fire burning in your core was white hot in its intensity, and you were so close to what you wanted-- no, needed.

Max’s hips slammed into yours one final time as he hilted himself in your cunt. You couldn’t help the gasp that was ripped from you as his head bumped up against your cervix right before you felt a rush of warmth flood through you. The groan that accompanied his release was borderline inhuman, and you wanted to hear more of it. You felt cum leak from where you were still joined and drip down your ass. You were still right on the precipice, but your pleasure would wither and die if you didn’t maintain some kind of stimulus.

You tried to continue rolling your hips into his, but Max was stock-still above you, basking in what you were sure was the warm glow of his first orgasm. You wanted desperately to join him in that paradise, but you needed some assistance first. You gripped his forearms harder.

“Max, honey, I need you,” you pleaded, voice low and sensual despite your desperation. “I need you to touch me like I showed you. Can you do that for me?”

He shifted his weight to one arm in jerky, pleasure-addled movements. He did not withdraw from his place inside you, but he allowed his thumb to fall to the little nub you had shown him before, above where the two of you were still joined. You whined as he circled your clit just a little too lightly for your liking, and instructed him to use a little more force. He listened to each of your words with an eagerness, he wanted to do everything just as you said. As luck would have it, he learned quickly enough and soon you were dangerously close to tipping over the edge.

You thrashed beneath him as finally, blessedly the tightness in your core shattered and electric shocks of ecstasy danced through your body. They burned away and left you buzzing with an all encompassing satisfaction. You gently guided his hand away from your oversensitive sex as you came down from your high. Max withdrew his rapidly softening length from inside you and it was followed by another gush of your combined fluids that dripped messily down to the ground below. He thought he had never seen anything better.

“That was perfect,” you sighed. “Was it good for you?”

Max nodded, but when he realized that you couldn’t see the motion through your closed eyelids he added, “Perfect.”

You wanted to lay in Max’s arms forever, but you soon realized that if you didn’t appear at the campfire soon, the others would start to wonder what was taking so long. In most cases, after this much time you would already be dead or have escaped. It wasn’t normal for a lone survivor to last for so long.

You slowly disentangled yourself from him. He didn’t want to let you go, but he did. He watched you stand and gather your clothing, wiping away would you could of the dirt that clung to the sweat on your back. You looked down at the mess that was your pussy before resigning yourself to a few minutes of discomfort as you slid your panties back on, delicate fabric cradling the cooling cum against your lower lips. You quickly redressed yourself before turning back to Max.

“I can still have the hatch?” You asked as you handed him his clothes, only half teasing. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

Max nodded while struggling back into his jeans. After all that, he would have happily taken a thousand years of punishment from the Entity.

You smiled before leaning in to kiss him lightly, chastely on the corner of his crooked mouth. You let your hand linger on his arm for another moment before heading to the place where the Black Lock hummed continuously. “I’ll see you at our normal spot,” you promised.

With a hop, you dropped into the blackness beyond the opening of the hatch, leaving Max alone in the cornfield. He waited eagerly for the darkness to settle over his vision that meant the Entity was removing him from the trial. The sooner he was out, the sooner he could get back to you, and the thought of you waiting for him filled his heart with warmth. Letting you go was the best idea he had ever had.

#this is very long #smut #the hillbilly #dbd hillbilly #max thompson jr #the hillbilly x reader #max thompson jr x reader #DBD #dbd imagines #asks #Anon

[mittensmorgul]

i obviously did not think this through

So the other day I thought it would be fun to make up my own Essential Rewatch List leading up to 15.01, and boy howdy was I ever wrong! This post is the result of that. Instead of a conveniently streamlined list of important episodes for meta and character development highlights, instead have this 15k word probably-useless behemoth...

I debated not even posting this on tumblr because it’s just so massive. But heck this was a lot of work so here it is.

For reference purposes, I refer a lot to my rewatch notes, but mostly in later seasons. If you’d rather just go to the beginning of my tag for the most recent rewatch, 1.01 is the last post on this page, and then you can just continue chronologically from there:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/s14+hellatus+rewatch/chrono/page/3

If you want to read more about a specific episode, every singe episode is filed on my blog with the episode tag. For example, all posts about 1.01 are tagged like this:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-1.01

To find a different episode, just plug in the correct episode number and voila.

If you’d prefer to skip an episode but don’t fully recall it and just want a quick refresher, every episode is linked on this page of the superwiki. Those links will serve you up a tidy synopsis as well as link you to the transcripts for every episode (linked at the bottom of each episode page):

http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/Category:Episodes

I started out making reasonable, logical entries for every episode, and then... kinda went off the rails toward the end... apologies for how chaotic this might read. Most of it was typed off the top of my head, and I haven’t edited it so apologies for any errors. Under a cut because FIFTEEN. THOUSAND. WORDS.

Good luck.

1.01 Pilot Obviously this episode sets up everything that comes after, and gives us a platform from which to understand exactly how the show’s mythology will eventually evolve. It also establishes a baseline for understanding Sam and Dean and their personal character evolutions and family dynamics. Probably essential viewing in any rewatch...

1.02 Wendigo Like so many early episodes, we learn more about Dean and Sam, and the missing father they’re searching for. And here we get “Saving people, hunting things, the family business” that becomes the motto of the Winchesters.

1.03 Dead in the Water

Sam is shocked to learn that Dean’s good with kids, and how Dean was traumatized as a 4-year-old. Like, dude, he practically raised you, Sam… makes sense he’s good with kids...

1.04 Phantom Traveler Specky the Wonderdemon, who was terrifyingly beyond their pay grade at the time. Kinda hilarious in retrospect… (also first use of Dean’s homemade EMF meter)

1.05 Bloody Mary Aah, Sam is keeping secrets from Dean (about his psychic powers and that he’d foreseen Jess’s death), and we learn ghosts can be attached to items that must be destroyed to banish the ghost.

1.06 Skin ooh Dean, take off that shirt yes… no… wait… stop… you can stop with the shirt you don’t… no please put your skin back on… (no, seriously, we learn A LOT about Dean from the shapeshifter, and so does Sam… There’s a heck of a lot Dean keeps buried. Also a reminder that shifter episodes tend to involve these sorts of buried secret things for Dean. Also Dean’s first “legal death” even if not actual death)

1.07 Hook Man Another ghost attached to an object, Sam’s first flirtation with anyone after Jess’s death, and Dean’s proficiency and innovation in hunting techniques continues to surprise Sam-- with the first use of salt shells for a shotgun.

1.08 Bugs Oh look more first season talking of their different experiences and memories of childhood and especially their very different relationships with John. If you can ignore the bug-related portions of the episode. Also I think still the only time in canon Sam and Dean have used umbrellas.

1.09 Home

Well if you absolutely need an in-depth exploration of the Winchester Family Dynamic as it stood in s1, this is a good baseline episode. Mary’s guilt expressed by her ghost in the house where she died, more exploration of Sam’s psychic powers, and we first see John on screen in the “present day.” Sam also learns it was Dean who carried him out of the house when he was a baby, and uses the exact same line John told Dean in this episode (take your brother outside as fast as you can and don’t look back)

1.10 Asylum So much of s1 was Dean getting orders from John and… following them. We get an interesting glimpse inside Sam’s head (having heard some of Dean’s dark secrets in 1.06) and via ghost interference Sam says some pretty bitter things to Dean (and would’ve shot him if Dean had been dumb enough to hand him a loaded gun. lucky Dean’s smarter than that). But now we have their baseline issues laid out on the table for us.

1.11 Scarecrow Sam is sick of taking orders from John and decides to go find John on his own rather than following another order. He meets Meg hitchhiking, and she tries to lure him in. Luckily Sam realizes Dean is in trouble and goes back to save him. They decide to stick together again. Of course.

1.12 Faith Here we go… the first moment the show realized it had the potential to be something bigger than a MotW horror/fantasy road trip. Dean’s first brush with capital-D Death (in this case, a reaper). The first time in canon anyone suggests that Dean was “chosen by the Lord” for a greater purpose.

1.13 Route 666 Racist Ghost Truck. But also the first time we learn an important difference between Dean and Sam. Sam hid everything about his life from Jess (a woman he was planning to propose to), but Dean fell in love with Cassie over a matter of weeks and told the whole truth to… and she dumped him for it because she thought he was lying to her. That heartbreak goes a long way toward the cavalier attitude Dean puts on toward relationships in general in the early seasons. Tell them the truth and they’ll leave you for it, but he won’t live the lie that Sam was perfectly happy to...

1.14 Nightmare Aah, more of Sam’s powers (darkest timeline edition with Max), and Sam credits John for being a better father… until he sees Dean’s reaction to that comment… and we get that Dean stood between Sam and John’s… lack of parenting skills >.>

1.15 The Benders “Plain old people are often worse than monsters”

1.16 Shadow The return of Meg, who is Up To No Good messing around with scarier demons than good old Specky was. We finally have John in the picture, but he deems it too dangerous for them to stick together, blaming their vulnerability on their care for each other, and just PFFFFFFT how often has the show kicked this notion to the curb? Give it a few more episodes… Sam also expresses his desire to finally get their revenge so he can leave hunting for good and go back to his “normal life.” Dean is crushed and upset by this revelation.

1.17 Hell House Aah, the prank war :’), and the idiot ghostfacers :’). It’s a tulpa.

1.18 Something Wicked Well if you need your heart ripped out with Dean Feels, you’re in the right place. Sam learns even more about Dean’s struggles as a kid under John’s orders, and what “failure” to obey meant to Dean-- that it once almost cost Sam his life. Sam gets a better idea of the burden of guilt and the weight of responsibility that Dean has carried for far, far too long. And Dean gets a bit of closure, finally killing the shtriga.

1.19 Provenance Sam gets to unburden himself a bit from Jess’s death and make a real connection with a wonderful woman who gets a real peek into the reality of their lives and the supernatural. Still, he walks away, and completely loses touch with her for like… 7 years...

1.20 Dead Man's Blood Sam and Dean are sick of blindly following orders, and sick of wild goose chases. And they demand answers from John. We learn about vampires for the first time, and are finally introduced to The Colt, which will take on so much significance over the seasons that it’s RIDICULOUS. A weapon Mary heard bedtime stories about as a child, now become real to be used to get their revenge on the demon who killed her? Which will resurface again and again to either become their hope or destroy their hope… so much baggage attached to a single gun.

1.21 Salvation So much plotting, but the demons get their way and get the Winchesters separated and set up. Sam fails to shoot the demon with the Colt and John is captured.

1.22 Devil's Trap As the title suggests, this is where we learn about the Devil’s Trap. And see the “single step” exorcism performed (not the two-step Specky exorcism from 1.04). Dean rejects John’s orders and “wastes” a bullet from the Colt to save Sam’s life. But it’s still all a trap, because the demon is possessing John. Dean realizes it when John is NOT FURIOUS that he “wasted” that bullet. It nearly kills Dean, and Sam refuses to kill John in order to kill the demon. The demon escapes, the Winchesters have one bullet left in the Colt, and then they’re run over by a demon-possessed semi trucker.

2.01 In My Time of Dying Dean’s second brush with Death (again, reapers). He learns a lot while mostly dead that unfortunately he won’t remember for a long time (until 4.15, to be precise) about reapers and their powers (manipulating reality, etc.). Sam is desperate to save Dean, and John trades his life (and the Colt) to the Demon for Dean’s life, lays one HELL of a burden on Dean-- either save Sam, or you’ll have to kill him. No further details, just that horrific fact which Dean will try to shield Sam from as long as he can, which will (as per usual) probably only make things worse when they eventually come out. Dying wishes on this show SUCK DONKEYS. Remember that when we get to 5.22...

2.02 Everybody Loves a Clown Spoiler alert: nobody actually loves a clown, especially not Sam. But heck Dean driving the soccer mom minivan is priceless. And we’re introduced to Ellen, Jo, and Ash at the Roadhouse. Sam and Dean are like… whoa there are actual hunter gathering places? And begin to uncover just how sheltered and weird their lives have been, even for hunters.

2.03 Bloodlust like 1.15, “sometimes people are the worst monsters,” with a generous side helping of “sometimes monsters aren’t actually monsters.” Dean gets to question a lot of what he was taught his whole life by John, via the proxy of Gordon Walker and his hate-on for vampires. But Dean realizes there’s a limit to killing everything not-human… the beginning of the era of “killing what deserves to be killed and not just anyone will do”

2.04 Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things Zombie. Considering Jack’s longtime fascination with zombies, and how 14.20 ended… possibly relevant thematically on several levels… Girl resurrected by a dude for love (she didn’t love him in life… but was basically a “soulless person” as a zombie, as we will come to understand in later seasons). It’s a terrible idea to try and bring back the dead… >.> But this is all wrapped up in grief and how Sam and Dean each deal with grief in their own ways, and how they don’t really understand how the other is processing John’s death. In the MotW language of the show, zombies are about grief for the past and an inability to express it or move past it. They’re just emotional baggage (like shapeshifter eps reveal hidden truths and vampires are about revenge)

2.05 Simon Said More special children affected by the demon exhibit psychic powers… Sam is unsettled by the mind control, but unlike Dean he’s immune to it… He’s scared he’s gonna turn “evil” (and this is the first hint he gets that Dean might feel the same, based on the horrific dying promise John extracted from him that we still haven’t heard, and which we’re reminded is clearly weighing on Dean anyway)

2.06 No Exit Aah, Jo. They hunt the ghost of HH Holmes with her and learn some terrible things about their father��s history-- that he probably played a part in Jo’s father’s death. We also learn Dean sleeps real funny in chairs...ow it just looks so dang painful :’D (but they do comeuppance real well on the ghost…)

2.07 The Usual Suspects I love this just for the structure of the episode, showing us Hunting with Sam and Dean 101-- how to avoid arrest and imprisonment edition. This just gives us so much insight into how well they work together as a team, and the degree to which they’ve developed code words and references and how they are able to craft seamless backstories in the event a hunt goes south. It’s just… delightful.

2.08 Crossroad Blues The introduction of Crossroads Demons. And the first confirmation to Dean that John did indeed sell his soul for Dean’s life. Uncomfy revelation. The demon offers Dean a deal… his father resurrected and ten years to enjoy his company before Dean’s soul would end up in Hell instead. Dean declines. But their arsenal of weapons against demons (and the newly-introduced Hellhounds) grows to include goofer dust.

2.09 Croatoan Aah, a terrible time was had by all… the demons are scheming, creating demonic viruses and testing Sam’s immunity to them. But of course Dean and Sam don’t know that… Dean’s comment as they leave town: “I'm already starting to feel like this is the one that got away.” And ends on a cliffhanger of Dean about to tell Sam what John told him in 2.01.

2.10 Hunted Sam is enraged Dean would keep that from him, and wants to seek out more Special Children to learn what they can, but Dean wants to hide out and bide their time for safety’s sake. And maybe it’s just because I was in my 30’s when I first watched this show, but Sam pulls what I still think of as one of his signature childish moves and runs away in the night. But down that path lies revenge against the demon, so of course Sam runs into vampire-adjacent Gordon Walker. We learn more about how the Winchesters work together, the secret code word “funkytown,” and that sometimes they actually get the authorities to work in their favor. They’re good at manipulating the system...

2.11 Playthings Ghosts, Hoodoo that wasn’t to cause harm, but to protect against the ghost. Sam gets spectacularly drunk and makes Dean promise to actually kill him if he goes bad. Yikes. We also have the “why does everybody think we’re gay,” and Sam’s reply of “you’re kinda trying too hard to be butch” that Dean… doesn’t have a response to. Sam gets to SAVE somebody (he puts a gold star in his book as proof he’s not turning evil yet)

2.12 Nightshifter This is one I recommend actually watching… another shapeshifter (not a mandroid), so uncomfortable truths time. Sam lies thinking he’s protecting someone from danger, but it just drives Ron into even WORSE danger (and gets him killed). Everything about this hunt goes sideways, except they do actually kill the shifter, but now they’ve got the FBI on their tails. This is Winchesters Scrambling In A Tight Spot nirvana.

2.13 Houses of the Holy The first hint that the show… could possibly someday include angels, but they’re still on the BS list by the end of this episode. We learn more about Sam’s belief in God, Dean’s utter disdain for the idea of God, and the fact that Mary had believed in angels. Dean witnesses something he can’t explain, and Sam points in Dean’s direction when asking, “That’s Michael, right?”

2.14 Born Under a Bad Sign From holy to Hell… Sam is possessed by Meg, who leads Dean on a wild goose chase and does some pretty horrific stuff with Sam’s body. >.> They learn about the antipossession charms from Bobby (and probably get the tattoos shortly after this). Dean still refuses to kill Sam even when he begs (though we learn it was Meg testing or goading all of them).

2.15 Tall Tales We’re introduced to the Trickster (who’s even tricking them about his actual identity). Sam and Dean are completely bamboozled until Bobby shows up and points them to what’s really going on. There’s a lot of fun stuff about Sam and Dean’s relationship and how they see themselves and each other in here, though. And of course we know who the trickster actually is, which makes this all so much more interesting in retrospect… bit of comeuppance and lessons learned.

2.16 Roadkill An interesting take on a ghost MotW episode, where one of the ghosts doesn’t realize she’s dead, and how Sam and Dean work with her to save them all.

2.17 Heart Sam’s first actual sort-of-relationship with a woman. Who happens to be a werewolf… oops. There’s a lot of Sam Pain in this one, and Dean feeling like he’s failed in protecting Sam, yet again. But we are introduced to werewolves, which take on the monster meta shorthand of exposing or understanding their own inner monstrousness.

2.18 Hollywood Babylon And it’s Dean’s turn to have a little fling, where their concept of a “vacation” is “deal with mysterious haunting and death on a movie set.” And like in 1.12, this all comes about because some dingdong thinks he can do whatever he want. ALSO! The true monster of the week here… IS A WRITER. A writer who is furious that his story was trashed, and produced into something unrecognizable as his actual writing. I think this one might be HIGHLY relevant to 14.20, just for that. For the deadly tantrum of a writer who didn’t get his way. (plus the brilliance of Dean going from complete noob to the best PA in the history of Hollywood in like… a day… he’s just that good :’D)

2.19 Folsom Prison Blues In doing a favor for their father’s marine corps buddy (so the ghost of John hangs all over this one), they deliberately get themselves arrested and put in jail. Dean fits in there just as well as he did as a PA. He’s… really just that good at acting. Now I have Green Onions stuck in my head and I want a milkshake. And a donut.

2.20 What Is and What Should Never Be DJINN. aka the monster meta signal of deep personal introspection. What we learn about Dean in this episode is just heartbreaking. What he would wish for (Mary alive, Sam happily at Stanford Law School engaged to Jess) and the consequences he’s willing to endure for that to be a reality (his own life’s work negated, where everyone assumes he’s a drunk and a thief and a loser). 

2.21 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part One Dean just wanted pie. Instead Sam gets taken by demons. We finally find out what the demon wanted with him (sort of). Sam plays in the Demon Hunger Games, and loses at the last moment… (Dean gets to feel what it’s like to have a psychic vision, and hates it)

2.22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part Two Dean sells his soul to resurrect Sam for the bargain price of one year before he’ll be dragged to Hell. Well learn about Samuel Colt’s Hellgate, which can ironically be unlocked with the Magic Kill Anything Gun (the Colt). In retrospect, this was just the beginning of the larger narrative arc of the Apocalypse, where Azazel released Lilith (along with a lot of other demons) to get that party started now that they had their hooks in Dean’s soul, but hey, at least Azazel won’t live to see it all happen (Dean finally shoots him with that last Colt bullet, rendering the gun useless but at least it did what they needed it to, with an assist from John’s ghost).

3.01 The Magnificent Seven The Seven Deadly Sins, the introduction of Ruby and her Magical Demon Killing Knife. Dean tells Sam he can’t be saved because if he breaks his deal, Sam would die.

3.02 The Kids Are Alright We meet Lisa (who Dean had a fling with years earlier) on Dean’s “relive his greatest hits before he goes to Hell denial roadtrip.” And Dean thinks he has a son for a hot minute (he does not, but he likes the kid anyway). Weirdness with them will ensue until they finally get to move on with their lives in s6. >.> But we’re introduced to our first fairie-adjacent creatures: Changelings. And Sam learns Ruby is actually a demon...

3.03 Bad Day at Black Rock Sam lost his shoe. We learn about curse boxes, Sam and Dean learn that John kept a secret storage unit full of weird and possibly dangerous stuff. But also some relics from their childhood-- Sam’s soccer trophy, Dean’s first sawed-off shotgun. And if that isn’t shorthand for the fact they had very different childhoods, I don’t know what is. Anyway, we meet Bela, and are entertained by good luck going bad… kinda the theme of s3?

3.04 Sin City more demons, we learn more about bigger plans they had for Sam, and Dean comes THIS CLOSE to actually considering letting a demon go… but Ruby helped Bobby make the Colt work again, and Sam kills both demons.

3.05 Bedtime Stories A pseudo-ghost of a girl trapped in a coma acts out fairy tales as a cry for help. Dean doesn’t want to kiss a frog. The pie is poisoned and Dean has to fight the big bad wolf… I swear that all makes perfect meta sense.

3.06 Red Sky at Morning Bela again. And like the ghost they’re hunting, we learn she got her revenge against a family member. The first use of the name “Castiel” in the spell to summon the ghost’s brother’s ghost so they could splish-splosh each other out of existence. That’s… all you really need to know.

3.07 Fresh Blood Gordon Walker, vampires, and vengeance. Taken to an extreme. Dean basically throws himself into danger because what does he have to lose if he’s already destined for Hell? But he’s beginning to crack, and Sam’s getting pretty desperate to get Dean to admit he’s scared and do something to save himself. Gordon’s desire for revenge gets him captured by a vamp and turned… and Sam ends up beheading him with razor wire. Yikes… so much for that revenge, eh?

3.08 A Very Supernatural Christmas Yuletide fun and eggnog. Pagan gods they end up killing with a Christmas tree. But they do reach a personal emotional plateau with Dean’s whole “half a year to live” clock ticking down.

3.09 Malleus Maleficarum Witches. Ruby. And a demon who knows Ruby leading a coven of suburban housewives who believe they’re just doing something harmless and not slowly selling their souls to said demon. Ruby saves Dean’s life, earning his reluctant gratitude for the time being, but not exactly his trust. This is the first we learn of Lilith, the demon apparently leading all the rest of them. Dean also learns that demons are just human souls that have been tortured in hell, and that’s what awaits him after he dies.

3.10 Dream a Little Dream of Me VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE. African Dream Root, which mimics the sort of djinn-dream experience. Dean has to literally confront his demon self. For the first time he admits he didn’t deserve any of this, any of what John put him through. And he admits to Sam that he is scared of going to Hell. Oh, and Bela steals the Colt, aka the only weapon they have against Lilith.

3.11 Mystery Spot If 3.10 was about Dean’s internal trauma, 3.11 is about Sam’s. The trickster puts him through a time loop forcing him to relive endless Tuesdays, and Dean dies each time and he wakes up again. The power to do this is just… insane. Just when they think they’re out, Dean apparently dies “for real,” and it drives Sam on a six month long rather terrifying revenge mission. Only to finally come face to face with the trickster again after having proven the horrific lengths he’s willing to go to in order to save Dean. Also a very, very important episode. Trapped eternally in someone else’s looping story and forced to act it all out endlessly? Yeah. That’s not 14.20 at all >.>

3.12 Jus in Bello very nearly the series finale. They work with Ruby after FBI agent Henriksen discovers they weren’t lying about the supernatural and they exorcise him from demon possession. Dean gives him The Talk about what’s real, and refuses to sacrifice someone to perform Ruby’s spell that would supposedly save them all and kill all the demons. Everyone lives… for a little while, at least. At least Sam and Dean are marked among the dead, so they won’t have to worry about law enforcement chasing them for a while, but Ruby holds this over them (in addition to losing the Colt, if they’d just listened to her everyone would still be alive… in theory… she’s really good at this manipulation thing!)

3.13 Ghostfacers And interesting perspective to see what Sam and Dean would look like uncensored and unbound from the traditional episode format, and through the eyes of other people.

3.14 Long-Distance Call Crocotta. Dean is lured in by John’s voice over the phone, believing it might be a ghost situation, and that John may have a way to save him from Hell. It’s all just a trap that leaves Dean feeling even more hopeless, knowing he can’t expect John (or anyone else) to save him from this. 

3.15 Time Is on My Side Sam gets desperate, and we have another mention of zombies… which if you’ll recall, signals grief and desperation and an inability to let go of the past. Which kinda defines Sam’s state right now. Dean tracks down Bela to retrieve the Colt (but it’s long gone, and Bela’s about to be dragged off by hellhounds herself). Sam tracks down Doc Benton hoping to get him to share his secret for immortality as a last desperate attempt to save Dean. But Dean doesn’t want to live like that, killing other people for their organs as his would wear out, just to keep himself out of Hell. And honestly good for him because ugh.

3.16 No Rest for the Wicked Dean’s seeing through the veil, able to see demons’ true faces, and the hellhounds that are on their way. They steal Ruby’s knife and go after Lilith, and fail completely. Dean’s dragged to Hell, and Sam’s immune to Lilith’s powers.

4.01 Lazarus Rising CAS GRIPPED DEAN TIGHT AND RAISED HIM FROM PERDITION. Honestly if you don’t know the meta import of this episode, this list ain’t gonna help you.

4.02 Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester We really learn about the Apocalypse, the seals breaking that will eventually free Lucifer. Supposedly the angels want to stop them from breaking… and Dean and Cas have their first real conversation about all of this. And this is the episode my tag for God comes from, “If you say mysterious ways, so help me I will kick your ass.” Dean’s already set himself up with Cas to defy God.

4.03 In the Beginning Angels can send you back in time! Dean sees Mary and John’s relationship, the death of Mary’s parents, and the fact Dean talked John into buying the Impala AND now feels responsible for having lured Azazel to Mary in the first place… he witnesses the deal she makes to bring John back that would effectively shape the entire narrative on both sides of this episode. The things we do for love… Cas told Dean to stop it, and in the end tells him he never could’ve stopped any of it. It is what it is. It’s the first instance of Dean getting this glimpse at the bigger picture, and taking away his OWN lesson from it rather than the one he was supposed to learn… 

4.04 Metamorphosis Dean finds out about Sam working with Ruby to exorcise demons with his psychic powers. And the inevitability of falling victim to those psychic powers plays out in the MotW, the rougarou who gives into his hunger. Sam promises to give up using his powers lest that happen to him.

4.05 Monster Movie A straightforward, black and white case. A shapeshifter (so buried truths), but this one becomes Hollywood movie monsters trying to give the monsters a happy ending… essentially trying to rewrite his own story. Sound familiar? Dean gets the girl, at least. I love this episode.

4.06 Yellow Fever Dean vs his own fear, compounded by the fear of a ghost who infects him with ghost sickness, inflicting his own suffering on Dean. This was Dabb’s first episode, and as such, is definitely worth watching for the themes, and what Dean is truly afraid of-- i.e. of going back to Hell and being tortured by Lilith, of Sam being a yellow-eyed demon. The rest is just awkwardly fun watching Dean squirm.

4.07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester Sam breaks his promise not to use his powers when Samhain rises. We meet another angel- Uriel- who isn’t as fond of humanity as Cas. Sam meets Cas, too. But this is truly the episode where Cas begins to differentiate himself and show his doubts in Heaven’s orders. He warns Dean that bigger tests are coming, but he doesn’t know what they will be yet. This is still the true foundation stone of Cas’s entire personal character arc for the entire series, when he went from maybe-three-episodes-then-dead interesting side character to 11-years-and-counting truly a Winchester.

4.08 Wishful Thinking I love this episode… you can’t just wish for what you want without consequences. This was like primer-level Cosmic Consequences stuff.

4.09 I Know What You Did Last Summer Dean learns what Sam was up to while he was in Hell being tortured by Alastair (conveniently the antagonist in this episode), why he trusts Ruby now, and voluntarily works with Ruby to save Anna-- a woman who hears angels talking. This is effectively continued in:

4.10 Heaven and Hell Where Anna remembers that she’d been an angel who fell from Heaven by choice, removing her grace to experience life as a human. Which… is kinda important a concept to know exists… >.> Heaven (and Cas) judge her harshly for that choice, and yet… there’s just too much just go read my rewatch notes from this episode at the very least.

4.11 Family Remains They think it’s a ghost but it’s not a ghost. All you need to know is this is the episode they wrote on a dare to see if they could write an episode that the network would refuse to air ever again. They were actively trying to write the worst possible episode they could imagine, and this is the result.

4.12 Criss Angel Is a Douchebag

Sam had a thing for stage magic as a kid, but now he runs around with a demon. The concept of “will we be in this life until we die or it kills us” and “what would life even look like to us if we were actually to grow old” is batted around for possibly the first time. 

4.13 After School Special

From contemplating retirement to flashbacks to high school. Another look at Sam and Dean and who they are as people, and how their very different childhoods shaped them into who they are now.

4.14 Sex and Violence Dean’s Siren was a dude. (oh, and the director of this episode? whose last episode was 6.15? is directing 15.03, so maybe worth a peek...)

4.15 Death Takes a Holiday Dean vs Death again. The return of Tessa the reaper from 2.01, and Dean finally remembers. They save Tessa, save a seal, and capture Alastair, but discover they’ve been manipulated into doing it by Cas/Heaven. Heaven loves its manipulations… Pamela the psychic warns Sam that what he’s doing, despite his intentions, is not good. He ignores that advice. At the very least read my rewatch notes for this one. >.>

4.16 On the Head of a Pin There is absolutely too much going on in this episode to sum up in this post. Read my rewatch notes, read the superwiki, watch the episode. This one is huge, for Dean and for Cas.

4.17 It's a Terrible Life Heaven’s Grand Manipulator, Zachariah. Or he thinks he’s pretty grand… he’s really not all that good at his job

4.18 The Monster at the End of This Book CHUCK. The inevitability of destiny, or at least his attempt to write that version. In this episode, all of Chuck’s plans go according to plan… until Dean drags him back into the story and forces a different ending. (and we learn Sam’s demon blood drinking is so distasteful to Chuck he didn’t even include it in his books) Remind you of anything? Like, oh, 4.22, or 5.22, or 11.23, or 14.20? Yes, this episode is the key to everything.

4.19 Jump the Shark Since Adam will reportedly be back in s15, watch this one and understand Dabb’s exact intention in creating the character in the first place-- literally as a decoy who never existed with any narrative weight of his own, as a ghoul (a creature that feeds on the dead and takes their shape). I wrote about this one recently, so I won’t waste space repeating myself here.

4.20 The Rapture CAAAAAAAASSSSSS. He gets dragged back to heaven for disobedience, and is tortured back into obedience. Obviously this one is huge for Cas as a character, and for Dean’s relationship with him. But they both learn about why Sam’s powers were getting stronger, and are not pleased...

4.21 When the Levee Breaks Sam’s detoxing from demon blood until Cas lets him escape. Cas rounds up Anna and has her sent back to Heaven for her own round of torture/reprogramming. And Dean and Sam have her Big Falling Out that drives Sam to do the horrific… however good his intentions are, what he’s doing is still bad.

4.22 Lucifer Rising The grand manipulation is unveiled. Dean talks an angel into rebelling from Heaven to stop the apocalypse, but they’re still not in time to stop Sam from breaking the world. Chuck… is less than fully helpful, despite Cas literally volunteering his own life to protect Chuck. Pretty sure this is a critical episode for rewatching. Chuck’s mostly pleased his story is going to plan.

5.01 Sympathy for the Devil Ugh, no we do not have sympathy for the devil on this blog. Chuck recruits his biggest fan to deliver cryptic messages to Sam and Dean. Dean learns he’s Michael’s true vessel, destined to be his tuxedo for the apocalypse. Cas returns without having a clue how he’s even alive. And it’s all Chuck’s doing… even if we don’t know that yet.

5.02 Good God, Y'All

The apocalypse is in full swing, and the Horsemen are coming out to play. In this case, War manipulating people into destroying each other. Cas sets out on his mission to find God and convince him to help stop this mess. We learn Dean’s amulet had the power to find God all this time, and they’d never known it until now. Convenient!

5.03 Free to Be You and Me Just watch it already, you know you want to. Defines Dean and Cas’s relationship for years to come, though. Plus Sam learns he’s Lucifer’s destined vessel. I’m sure that will all go fine… 

5.04 The End I know most people will disagree with me on this, but the only useful meta takeaway from this episode is the same as one from 4.17: Dean doesn’t learn the lessons he’s “supposed to.” He makes his own lessons. There is literally zero other relevant information to take from this episode, aside from it being Cas who saves him from it. Watch if you enjoy it… but literally nothing about it is any more real than the djinn dream in 2.20 or the dreamroot dream in 3.10, and it’s all been rendered irrelevant by later canon anyway. Especially by 14.20 and that moment Dean refused to play Chuck’s game anymore.

5.05 Fallen Idols More John baggage disguised as an old god. Worth watching just to hear poor Consuela the housekeeper wail about Abraham Lincoln killing Mr. Hill, and Sam being attacked by Ghandi.

5.06 I Believe the Children Are Our Future Dabb’s second gag on the fandom… the antichrist. Dean admitting Cas is his friend. :’)

5.07 The Curious Case of Dean Winchester Dean gets to be an old man for a day.

5.08 Changing Channels Just watch this one, read about it, whatever. Refresh yourself on it. The trickster is unmasked as the Archangel Gabriel, and he’s attempting his own ploy to force Sam and Dean to “play their roles.” They convince him they’re not gonna do that, but to break out of the endless loop of literal television shows he’s forcing them to act out for his own entertainment (and sort of to teach them that lesson), they’ve got to do more than just refuse to play their roles, they’ve got to best him at the game. Kinda like they’re probably gonna have to do with Chuck in s15. 

5.09 The Real Ghostbusters Oh, speaking of Chuck… here have a Supernatural fan convention, and a key piece of information on what actually happened to the Colt after Bela stole it. But most importantly, Dean gets to yell about how much he doesn’t appreciate the story of Supernatural.

5.10 Abandon All Hope… They find the Colt, and Crowley, and discover it never would’ve worked against Lucifer anyway, and then promptly lose the Colt again. Lucifer gets to stare down Cas and Cas doesn’t blink, Meg’s hellhounds kill Jo and Ellen, and really everything’s kinda bleak. Lucifer raises and binds Death.

5.11 Sam, Interrupted WRAITH, aka a monster that uses mind altering venom to “cook” her victims to perfection, so like a djinn and other mind-altering, perception-altering creatures, when they sneak up on you unawares, things get… complicated. Massive insight into the essential character of Sam and Dean.

5.12 Swap Meat Body Swap. That one time Sam was actually Gary.

5.13 The Song Remains the Same More time travel, Sam’s second resurrection, we finally meet Michael face to (Young John Winchester’s) face. Mikey seems pretty confident in his “destiny.” Dean’s second warning to Young Mary about her death is wiped from her mind. Contemplation of Cosmic Consequences: it’s better never to be born if it means stopping the Apcoalypse-- clarified in 12.23-present that… nope, definitely worse. “Team Free Will” coined. Watch this one. It’s the stage on which all the s12-present Family Dynamics will be set.

5.14 My Bloody Valentine We learn Heaven set up John and Mary, that they couldn’t stand one another before Cupids intervened and made them “the perfect couple.” I’ve written a lot about the effect the Horseman Famine had on all of them-- especially Dean and Cas, with the reminder that s5 was the season of “lol nope” to the category of beings attempting to manipulate all of them, including the Horsemen. Important just for all of that (and Edlund’s confirmation that Cas’s cravings were actually his own, and that my read that he was being a shifty liar blaming it on Jimmy was correct-- Cas does have his own human cravings, going all the way back to this point, that he was ashamed of, or terrified of, or both...) As well as Sam’s struggle against demon blood addiction, and his fear of and gradual acceptance and internalization of his own powers)

5.15 Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid ZOMBIES. ZOMBIE PIE. JODY MILLS. As I’ve said above, zombies are grief and unresolved baggage from the past, and in this episode, the denial was so strong even the normies in town were willing to accept the return of their dead loved ones, clinging to them until they “turned” and devoured them… the Mary parallels, Karen’s talk with Dean about what we do for the people we love… this one’s important.

5.16 Dark Side of the Moon Dabb, and our first look at the structure of Heaven, and how human souls see the place. Probably one of THE most misunderstood episodes in the entire series. Please see everything I’ve ever written about it for reference. FINALLY they toss out the toxic, worthless samulet. (which we literally learn in 11.20 that chuck “switched off” and INTENTIONALLY rendered worthless, because it suited his plotline and amused him). Still think this is vital to understanding Dabb Era overall.

5.17 99 Problems We see what it looks like when Dean gives up, loses hope, and is about to do Stupid Things™. Cas too. Probably useful just for that.

5.18 Point of No Return We finally see Cas really let loose on Dean, and admit what he gave up because he believed in Dean. Because Dean asked him to. Dean nearly gives in to destiny, but because of Cas, because of Sam, he fights through it. Zachariah and his manipulations end (getting stabbed in the face tends to end that sort of thing). Also the irritating return of Adam only to be the meatsuit for Michael when Dean refuses. (and we learn the truth about Adam-- that everything ghoul!Adam told them had been a straight-up manipulation, and Adam only ever cared about his mom. by the time he learns the truth, it’s too late for him, the gullible idiot vs the power of propaganda)

5.19 Hammer of the Gods The return of Gabriel, aka Loki, and a ton of other pagan gods Lucifer will slaughter. Interesting in light of Gabriel’s return in s13, and because of the mirror of Chuck in each of his archangels. And the Winchesters win another angel to TFW.

5.20 The Devil You Know Crowley’s good at manipulation, but again proves himself to be… mostly trustworthy (as long as they’re all working toward the same end). And re: manipulation, Sam gets a glimpse of just how thoroughly his entire life has been manipulated by demonic forces, which… relevant to the revelations of 14.20 vs Sam’s persistent faith in God despite everything.

5.21 Two Minutes to Midnight Cas is effectively human. Bobby sells his soul for Death’s location, and Pestilence falls to teamwork. Cas learns the value of a shotgun. Dean has pizza with Death, who WANTS him to succeed at locking Lucifer back up and explains exactly how to go about doing it. Sam thinks he can overpower Lucifer if he gives in and says yes.

5.22 Swan Song Sam was not totally wrong in 5.21. Cas resurrects Bobby, and explodes and is resurrected (again!) himself. Sam drags two (2) archangels into the cage and is promptly pulled out (only missing one critical bit…). Dean… actually tries to live up to at least one of Sam’s dying wishes, and it basically ruins his life for the next year. Chuck is a smug, self-satisfied bastard who pats himself on the back for a story well-told before flapping off and proceeding to write variations on his original fic using his favorite characters. >.>

6.01 Exile on Main St. All I can hear is Dean’s heartbreak and anger that Sam had been “alive” for a year and forbade anyone from telling Dean that he wasn’t actually suffering tortures in Hell all that time. If ever there was a YIKES moment on the show, this is it for me. This one’s probably good to watch just for the setup of soulless!sam and s6 in general.

6.02 Two and a Half Men Dean’s even good with monster babies. And after a year of unsettled living with Lisa, he’s more duty bound to protect them than he is wanting to stay because he’s actually happy there. Sam is a creepy hunting machine.

6.03 The Third Man CAS! But heck he’s acting shifty, but so’s Sam, and Dean’s feeling even more alone now. The introduction of the concept of Angel Marks on souls, the Profound Bond, and biblical weapons. And the war in Heaven, and the seasonal antagonist stepping up into Michael’s shoes: Raphael.

6.04 Weekend at Bobby's BALLS. Woodchippers trump everything. We discover that burning a demon’s human bones will perma-kill them, and learn a bit of Crowley’s backstory.

6.05 Live Free or Twihard Dean becomes a vampire for a hot minute. We learn there is a vampire cure that works as long as they haven’t had human blood yet. And we learn something really, really is wrong with Sam...

6.06 You Can't Handle the Truth Dean is now 100% positive that something is horrifically wrong with Sam, and is distraught that nobody else seemed to know it for a YEAR.

6.07 Family Matters Cas figures out what’s wrong with Sam and promptly becomes even shadier around the Winchesters. We meet the Alpha Vampire. And vampire eps are about revenge, right? There is a LOT of shady going on here.

6.08 All Dogs Go to Heaven weird dog episode that I always forget exists between rewatches.

6.09 Clap Your Hands If You Believe… hands down the best soulless!Sam episode. You fight those fairies! I’m still waiting for another fairie episode where Dean can still see them and nobody else can :’D. Just watching Sam try to logic his way into being more human is educational about the struggle to be human in general.

6.10 Caged Heat Family betrayal, Sam and Dean nearly get fed to ghouls, Cas would rather be with them then fighting his war in Heaven. Angel blades can kill hellhounds. They finally entrap meg into working with them instead of always trying to kill them >.>

6.11 Appointment in Samarra I think this is still in my top five favorite episodes ever, and one I think everyone needs to rewatch. Dean and Death episodes usually are. And in this one, Dean IS effectively Death for 24 hours. But there is a LOT in this episode, from Death “testing” Dean on multiple levels-- forcing him to make choices AND process the consequences of his actions and how it affects other people… this is a big one for the cosmology of the SPN universe and Dean specifically. Even in Dabb era.

6.12 Like a Virgin Dragons are a thing. Eve pops over from Purgatory.

6.13 Unforgiven Sam’s soul/hell flashbacks start when he goes poking at the wall, but he keeps poking anyway. Giant spider people. Eurgh. But unfortunately the whole “web of lies unraveling” thing kinda fits.

6.14 Mannequin 3: The Reckoning The haunted kidney episode. But Dean finally breaks it off with Lisa (again… >.>)

6.15 The French Mistake We actually learn something about the angel wars… sort of. We also learn AU’s are actually real. (this was also the last episode the director of 15.03 directed, so probably worth watching if they’re bringing him back after all these years…)

6.16 ...And Then There Were None Monster Possession is apparently a thing now. The last of the Campbell hunters die (that was a quick trip through the family dynamics there >.>). The main takeaway here is from Rufus’ funeral: Life’s short, and it’s not worth carrying guilt and regret (takes them a really REALLY long time to actually internalize it with each other, but at least they got the spirit)

6.17 My Heart Will Go On Cas just lying to their faces, creating an alternate timeline just to generate souls as a power source (the specific number of 50k souls comes up, and will come up again in 6.20, as the number of souls Crowley “loaned” Cas at the beginning of the war in Heaven, with the suspicion that Cas was attempting to “buy his way out of their deal”, but the plan fails and he’s forced to put everything back… but he does ensure Sam and Dean both remember the entire experience, but we get an idea of the extent of the power angels can actually wield.

6.18 Frontierland Dabb has referenced this one several times during his era, but again, the history of the Colt is involved, a Phoenix, and Dean in a cowboy hat. We learn even the other angels think Cas is up to something super shady. But it’s their first real moment of hope.

6.19 Mommy Dearest Eve uses Mary’s face to torment Dean, we learn Crowley is not dead, and Cas… has been doing shady things with him. Cas is again effectively human for an episode.

6.20 The Man Who Would Be King Well this is where everything both falls apart and comes together. This episode makes sense of the entire rest of s6, as painful and sad as it is. If you only watch one episode from s6, it should probably be this one.

6.21 Let It Bleed Dean’s worst fear comes true, and people he cares about but leaves behind for their own protection are used against him. Not just by bad guys, but by Cas. Ouch. Still incredulous that Dean did recognize HP Lovecraft, or even make a Metallica reference at the mention of “Call of Cthulhu.”

6.22 The Man Who Knew Too Much Sam putting himself back together. Cas tearing things apart.

7.01 Meet the New Boss That one episode where it looks like Cas will be the unwitting bad guy and s7 will be about saving him, until it’s really really not. That whole exchange between Dean and Cas about forgiveness and finding some way to make it up to him, though… that’s what will carry us through the bleak middle of s7 and generate the grief arc for Dean in the meantime.

7.02 Hello, Cruel World It looks like Cas is really, truly gone, and all Dean has of him is his trenchcoat. And we’re stuck cleaning up his oozy black mess for the next 15 episodes before getting him back again. Sam’s Hallucifering all over the place and finds a connection to reality through squeezing the scar on his hand, which will become a symbol in show for reconnecting with reality for him for years to come.

7.03 The Girl Next Door Sam thinks pie and cake are the same. In their own respective messed up mental states, Sam thinks Amy is worth saving, Dean doesn’t trust that and kills her. Let the guilt ensue.

7.04 Defending Your Life A good setup of Sam and Dean’s issues for s7.

7.05 Shut Up, Dr. Phil I can’t believe they melted Tula’s painting. But it takes a couple of bickering witches for them to finally get a hold on the Leviathan, so that’s something.

7.06 Slash Fiction Aah, going back to the beginning as a trap for Sam and Dean-- the Leviathan using the Supernatural books to lay a trail case by case from Sam leaving Stanford (Crowley will do the same in 8.22, and the end of 14.20 gave a lot of people the impression there will be a similar progression in s15… but honestly that’s really only sustainable for a single episode, but this may be relevant for like… 15.01-02). Also, Dean finds it satisfying to behead himself (or the leviathan version of himself)… so yikes.

7.07 The Mentalists I love this one just for the Dean feels. He’s really hurting.

7.08 Season Seven, Time for a Wedding! Sam’s love-spelled. Mind control is always a terrible thing. Demons trying to game the system and cash in on deals ahead of schedule. So that’s a thing.

7.09 How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters I love this one. Poor Dean. This is the first time he’s actually felt good in like… ever. Too bad it’s from monster goo.

7.10 Death's Door Bobby :’( And Dean essentially falls apart.

7.11 Adventures in Babysitting Vetala. Which only Dean knew hunt in pairs, so hunter after hunter had been falling victim to them, including Sam. Meanwhile Dean finally got a decent nap.

7.12 Time After Time Dean gets booped back to the 1940’s to hunt with Eliot Ness. Still, they defeat Chronos, yet another god whose prophecy will be tossed aside by the Winchesters.

7.13 The Slice Girls Dean accidentally has a monsterbabby, Sam kills her. Amazons.

7.14 Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie Just watch it. This is the only episode in the entire series that just… is purely good and fun. Sam has to confront his fear of clowns, Dean faces a villain who was blamed for his brother’s death when he was just a kid and his parents should’ve been doing their jobs instead. I mean...

7.15 Repo Man The guy who was trying to lure back “his demon” exorcised during the Apocalypse era, by continuing his murder spree. Sam loses to Hallucifer by acknowledging his existence as separate from Sam’s own subconscious. There’s… a lot in this episode. At least read my rewatch notes.

7.16 Out with the Old Sam eventually succumbs to his Hallucifering, Dean nearly succumbs to a pair of toe shoes. Peter Yankit of Johnson Lane nearly succumbs to a cursed porn magazine. Cursed objects are fun.

7.17 The Born-Again Identity CAAAAASSSSS! He’s back, even if he doesn’t remember who he is. Dean tries to break it to him slowly, but instead unburdens a lot of his personal hurt over Cas’s actions to the oblivious “Emmanuel,” And Cas tells Dean his feelings are completely understandable. This is setting up the entire rest of Cas’s arc, probably through the end of the series. This is what motivates him, his need to repent. And He gets a start by taking on Sam’s trauma, healing Sam.

7.18 Party On, Garth An alcohol spirit enacting personal revenge, and despite all evidence, Sam continues to doubt Dean’s theory that Bobby is somehow still around. Dean’s season-long grief-drinking becomes a punchline, and Dean’s literally the only sober one in the final fight scene.

7.19 Of Grave Importance Yep, Bobby is a ghost, been there all along. Also, ghosts can sort of… cannibalize each other? For their power? whatever, moving on.

7.20 The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo CHARLIE.

7.21 Reading Is Fundamental KEVIN. But also CAS! Is awake but not quite himself and in full denial mode, like he was awakened against his will before he was done cooking >.>. we learn a bit more about prophets as we see Kevin awakened to serve the Leviathan Tablet.

7.22 There Will Be Blood more manipulation, and the Alpha Vampire is back, so we get a double whammy of manipulation/deceit AND revenge. The alpha vampire cooperates with the Winchesters. So does Crowley.

7.23 Survival of the Fittest Cas doesn’t want to fight, but in the end he steps up. They get the Leviathan, Dean and Cas are beamed to Purgatory, and Sam’s left alone and pulls a Sam. He runs away from reality.

8.01 We Need to Talk About Kevin Dean comes back from Purgatory without Cas, but with a vampire friend… so s8 is about Dean making pals with revenge. This will fuel his arc for a good long while to come until he can finally make his peace with it. It affects his interactions with Sam for most of the first half of the season… because while Dean was fighting for his life, Sam was… pretending to be a normal guy and ignoring everything else. Including Kevin.

8.02 What's Up, Tiger Mommy? The push to do something drives them to seek out the Demon Tablet with the promise of closing the gates of Hell forever at Kevin’s suggestion. Plutus, the God of Greed is the baddie in this one, if that’s any sort of meta statement on their overall plan to take this particular course of action… the narrative basically condemned their plot before the season even started. Hubris, ahoy. But we also find out why Cas ran away in Purgatory-- to protect Dean. And why he wanted to stay-- guilt and penance.

8.03 Heartache Oh, a case where a curse is passed on to others after death? And the original death didn’t actually end the curse as intended? Nice.

8.04 Bitten I love episodes were we see Sam and Dean through other people’s eyes. And this one, an episode where we learn new things about werewolves (remember: an examination of inner monstrousness).

8.05 Blood Brother I’d point out the agony of Winchester Secret Keeping being toxic, but since we’re largely out past that by the end of s14… *shrug emoji*. Dean helps his vampire friend get revenge against the vampires who killed him. Double revenge! And Sam… does not like Benny. But we know exactly why DEAN does… he literally saved Cas’s life in Purgatory, despite repeatedly wanting to leave Cas behind. He saved Cas for Dean.

8.06 Southern Comfort Garth again, and his serenity is basically there to point out how toxic Sam and Dean are by comparison. The spectre that possesses Dean to leech off his vengefulness has zero effect on Garth. But Dean gets out his feelings of anger that Sam never looked for him in Purgatory, so that’s on the table to provide drama for years to come.

8.07 A Little Slice of Kevin CAS IS BACK AGAIN! But he has no idea how he got here (he’s been mind controlled by Heaven again, and is desperately trying to make amends, but is literally blocked from doing so at every turn, which is a tidy mirror for what Chuck’s done to the entire story since… forever… so this is probably a must-watch episode, or at least read my notes on it.

8.08 Hunteri Heroici This one’s fun, until it’s owie, and then sad. Magical powers don’t save the day, they only end up hurting people. Cas desperately wants to make amends, but he is afraid to face what he’s done. Instead, he just gets manipulated even harder. At least read my notes for this one, too.

8.09 Citizen Fang Oh, manipulation moves directly to the Winchester brothers, no heavenly interference required. Vampires again, but this time Dean again sides with Benny, but against Sam… who again refuses to hear the truth and pulls another Sam. He forgot the lesson that sometimes it’s not the monsters being monstrous, and it’s important to kill the RIGHT monster, not just the convenient one.

8.10 Torn and Frayed Just like the episode sounds… Cas goes to Dean for help,  and then brings Sam onboard and asks them to stow their crap. By the end of the episode, Sam and Dean will have resigned themselves to being on their own again because Cas is… something is not right with him...

8.11 LARP and the Real Girl CHARLIE! Fairies! Dean does one (1) fun thing for his birthday. But this is about using a book to manipulate events to suit the Bad Guy’s whims. Sound familiar?

8.12 As Time Goes By Sam and Dean meet their grandfather, fill in a huge gaping hole from their past, and discover their legacy, the Men of Letters, and the Bunker that will become their home.

8.13 Everybody Hates Hitler Yep. It’s true! Nazi necromancers, and another new ally in Aaron. They settle in to the bunker.

8.14 Trial and Error They take their first steps toward closing the gates of Hell, killing a Hellhound. I wrote about this one recently, so go read that. :’D

8.15 Man's Best Friend with Benefits another weird dog episode

8.16 Remember the Titans Prometheus, Artemis, and Zeus. Curses passed down through families to fall on innocent children. And Zeus is delighted because it causes even more suffering.

8.17 Goodbye Stranger oh the agony. We see what it took for Heaven to control Cas, and what it took for Dean to break through to him, only to fall to yet another mind whammy by the angel tablet. Of course Dean takes this personally, abandoned again. Definitely watch this one. Read the notes. All that.

8.18 Freaks and Geeks In case anyone missed the point, we have manipulation and vampires. And Dean reminding everyone that finding the truth is important (let’s not be so bloodthirsty that just anyone will do).

8.19 Taxi Driver The second trial, the horror that Bobby’s wrongfully been in Hell all this time, and Sam is stranded in Purgatory until Benny shows up to escort him to the portal. Sam finally gets why Dean’s loyalty to Benny never wavered. He was literally willing to die for Dean. This guilt will carry Sam into the third trial eventually but for now...

8.20 Pac-Man Fever Let’s look at Dean’s guilt/fear. That he’s failed to protect Sam and won’t be able to save him from the trials. Fear is a terrible thing. But we have djinn AND dreamroot, so all the false realities.

8.21 The Great Escapist This is still among my favorite episodes, but Cas finally begins fighting for himself, and we uncover the extent of Heaven’s duplicity, and meet Metatron, aka Chuck Lite. Definitely watch or at least read.

8.22 Clip Show Aah, I mentioned this one back in 7.06. This is Crowley’s turn to use the boys’ history against them, but instead of manipulating them, they trap him (at the beginning of 8.23, after whoopsie accidentally freeing Abaddon because of Crowley’s manipulation distracting them from their job…) We learn that “curing a demon” is a thing.

8.23 Sacrifice Cas is so embittered by his experiences with heaven that he refuses to believe Metatron is lying, and thus falls victim to the worst manipulation yet. Sam’s dying from the trials, Cas is human, and angels fall. (and also some of the worst, most toxic relationship stuff between Sam and Dean, which contributes to all of that, along with their hubris to think this was a good idea in the first place… I mean it’s literally what the big bad of s9 did to Heaven so why were they trying to do the same to Hell again?)

9.01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here Cas is human, confused, and alone. The big bad is basically Diet Chuck, and Dean is manipulated into doing a Terrible Thing to save Sam that will strain their relationship for the rest of the season. (Don’t worry, Sam will return the favor in s10 >.>) Buckle in for a season all about manipulation by more powerful cosmic forces but with all new levels of guilt over having caused these problems in the first place!

9.02 Devil May Care Abaddon makes a play for the role of big bad, but will ultimately lose the title to Metatron.

9.03 I'm No Angel The Worst Possible Take on Human Cas. Mostly I ignore this episode.

9.04 Slumber Party Oz. Dorothy. Wicked Witch of the West. Sam’s angel possession gets a bit tricky… Direct mind control instead of the manipulative sneaky kind we usually see. and CHARLIE. The Winchesters lives are directly compared to Dorothy Baum’s, where her “fictionalized” version didn’t even come close to describing the horror of her lived reality. (also that one line swap incident that still pisses me off… and pissed Robbie Thompson off enough to write a whole SCENE in 11.04 they couldn’t screw around with like that… “god helps those who help themselves”)

9.05 Dog Dean Afternoon oh look another weird dog episode

9.06 Heaven Can't Wait the Best Possible Take on Human Cas. Well, while Dean’s still being held hostage against telling the truth to him about the angel possessing Sam… and not being able to just bring Cas back home with him. :’)

9.07 Bad Boys Sam learns another major lesson about just how much Dean was manipulated into lying to him his whole life, and another look at what Dean has given up over the years to protect Sam. The origin of my “the story became the story” tag. 

9.08 Rock and a Hard Place Breaking vows is frowned upon. Vesta. And Dean tries to tell Sam about the angel possessing him, but he’s prevented from doing so. And he’s really beginning to realize just how bad a decision this may have been...

9.09 Holy Terror Cas is back in town. He can’t stand by when he might be able to help, but again Gadreel (because now we know that’s the angel possessing Sam) refuses. Gadreel is lured in by Metatron, and things for Sam go from bad to worse. Cas steals another angel’s grace because he had no choice. And Gadreel kills Kevin and runs off. All of a sudden, Dean’s alone.

9.10 Road Trip Just when Dean can finally tell the truth to Cas, Cas isn’t human anymore. They literally never got to actually just BE. Crowley poughkeepsie’s Sam into kicking Gadreel out. Abaddon is becoming more of a problem. Probably at least read the notes on this one. At the end, it’s Dean that “pulls the Sam” and runs away. Which is interesting because they’re essentially gonna swap narrative roles for like… the next season and a half. Buckle up. Things get rocky >.>

9.11 First Born And definitely watch this one. Cas and Sam bonding hour, while Dean goes off with Crowley and is manipulated into taking on the Mark of Cain so he’ll be able to kill Abaddon for Crowley… (and for everyone else, but mainly for Crowley).

9.12 Sharp Teeth Sometimes family can be a werewolf pack. And Garth is now part of one of those, but there’s still zero monstrousness in Garth. As Dean’s beginning to wonder if he should regret taking the Mark (just as Cas wondered if he should regret cannibalizing grace… which he said made him barbaric)

9.13 The Purge A genuinely altruistically intentioned monster, or at least one who attempted to use her monstrousness for good. But her blind spot was her brother, out there just devouring whatever he wanted and not wanting to play by the rules of society or worrying about staying hidden and safe. Plus, DONNA. Even if she doesn’t get to play a big part in the monster hunting.

9.14 Captives We learn more horrors about the s6 angel war from Bart, and pushing Cas toward siding more and more with humanity and against all the heaven nonsense (until he’s manipulated back in DIRECTLY by Metatron and his magic typewriter… but that’s four episodes in the future yet). Linda Tran gets a bit of revenge for being held prisoner for half a year anyway...

9.15 thinman ghostfacers, back to face their own ghosts. If you like getting hit in the face with anvils...

9.16 Blade Runners Crowley’s addicted to humanity. Dean finds his own addiction in the First Blade. And we get our first glimpse of the darker side of the MoL.

9.17 Mother's Little Helper Misha directed it, and it’s got one of the most beautiful scenes in the whole series (Sam freeing the stolen souls, but Dean drinking and playing pool ain’t half bad either). Soullessness, which Sam handles on his own, and learns the truth of how Abaddon infiltrated the MoL.

9.18 Meta Fiction A MUST WATCH. Writers lie. Read my posts. What makes a story? Seriously, Metatron is just Chuck with training wheels.

9.19 Alex Annie Alexis Ann Vampires. More revenge. This time for stolen childhood and lost family. Plus Jody, and the first seed that would become Wayward. Dean is also beginning to succumb to the Mark’s darker urges.

9.20 Bloodlines Dabb’s idea of a joke, I’m pretty sure. 

9.21 King of the Damned Well, Abaddon’s dead, at least. Time trave wtf’ery. Dean is… not okay...

9.22 Stairway to Heaven Sam and Cas pop culture road trip. The level of Metatron’s manipulation becomes horrifically apparent. And Cas gives up his army because he refuses to kill Dean. (also Dean really loses it at the end…)

9.23 Do You Believe in Miracles? Crowley reveals the truth about what the Mark is doing to Dean, and we see the final truth when Dean wakes up as a demon.

10.01 Black Demon Dean Part 1. Bad karaoke and random murder. Cas is languishing because of stolen grace, and Sam is off the rails interrogating demons for Dean’s location.

10.02 Reichenbach Demon Dean Part 2. Cas struggles to teach Hannah about humanity, Sam struggles to find Dean.

10.03 Soul Survivor Demon Dean the conclusion. Cas hugs the demon outta Dean. Er… that’s what happened, pretty sure. But he’s still got the Mark.

10.04 Paper Moon More fun with Werewolves: Siblings edition. While Dean struggles to come to terms with his own literal inner monster...

10.05 Fan Fiction Just watch it. And read my rewatch notes for it. I mean, it’s about rewriting the story. And Chuck shows up at the end and gives it a “Not bad.” Probably kinda relevant.

10.06 Ask Jeeves Supernatural: Clue edition. With a shapeshifter that Bobby had known about for decades. Buried secret things again.

10.07 Girls, Girls, Girls Our first real introduction to Rowena. :’) She’s not a friend in this one...Hannah finally gets a taste of humanity through her vessel’s grief and pain, and decides that it’s wrong for her to remain in her vessel. She returns to Heaven, and Cas is left to ponder how he affected Jimmy’s family (since Jimmy’s long dead now) by his possession.

10.08 Hibbing 911 DONNA AND JODY. Donna gets “the talk,” in a vampire case, and finally gets to prove her mettle as a hunter.

10.09 The Things We Left Behind Cas has found Claire Novak, and does what he can to help her. She’s been taken in and manipulated by an unsavory character, who Dean kills in a fit of mark-induced violence (granted he was surrounded by dudes who wanted him dead, but it was still upsetting and mirrored his nightmare from the opening scene). The burger date. (go ahead and watch it)

10.10 The Hunter Games More Claire drama, but this time she stops it. The Longing Retcon. Cas uses emoticons. And Dean nearly kills Metatron while demanding he tell him how to cure the Mark. Things are getting kinda desperate on that end… All Metatron says is “the river ends at the source”

10.11 There's No Place Like Home OZ. CHARLIE. At least read my watch notes. I’ve been banging on about this episode since it aired. But at the very least read the last round of watch notes. Possibly relevant again because of how it was relevant to Chuck and Amara in 11.23 (yes, this is basically how Dean saved the universe).

10.12 About a Boy Dean gets zapped into a 14-year-old version of himself by a witch. Plus: the mark disappeared for a few days, probably giving him a mini-vacation from enduring it and refreshing his control a bit.

10.13 Halt & Catch Fire ghosts in the machines… plus a John reference that is reinforced when a clip from this episode is reused in the horror movie trailer in 14.04 (so skim my rewatch notes for that if you’re still following along for that sort of thing… post 14.13… *shrug emoji*)

10.14 The Executioner's Song Watch it. Read the notes. This is a big one. Free will-wise.

10.15 The Things They Carried Khan worm: homoerotic sweat lodge edition.

10.16 Paint It Black Worth it just for Dean’s confessional scene. At least read my rewatch notes.

10.17 Inside Man We learn some interesting things about Heaven, Cas gets Bobby’s help to break in and talk to Metatron, they sneak him out, steal his grace, and have their leverage over the one person who might know how to cure Dean AND get Cas what’s left of his own grace back… Meanwhile Rowena tries to kill Dean, and he has a heart to heart with Crowley about what Family really means. Definitely watch, or at least read my notes. A lot happens in this one.

10.18 Book of the Damned CHARLIE. And the wtf’ery of the Styne family begins >.> Sam has a good chat with Charlie about his own life. Metatron leads Cas to another book containing his grace and then escapes with the demon tablet. Family dinner. At least skim my notes on this one. (basically anything with metatron is probably relevant to Chuck stuff…)

10.19 The Werther Project Watch this one. I just wrote notes on it. The beginnings of an interesting relationship between Sam and Rowena (yes that started in 10.18, but this is where it gains weight in Sam’s own subconscious). Dean confronts himself in his own vision about the burden he’s laid on Cas (to kill him if he goes off the rails again). There’s a lot of emotional baggage in this one, too. But seroiusly-- watch this one for the Sam and Rowena stuff, because Rowena… isn’t even really there… 

10.20 Angel Heart Claire, and Cas’s finally laying to rest his baggage associated with the Novak family. Dean and Claire finally bonding. Dean and Cas went to the Hot Topical.

10.21 Dark Dynasty w. t. f. (if you want to be pissed off, give it a watch)

10.22 The Prisoner If you just want the comforting revenge portion of the program, just watch this one instead. Or if you can’t bear to, at least read my notes on it.

10.23 Brother's Keeper Whoopsie, Dean kills Death. Whoopsie, Sam doesn’t stop everyone else from executing the spell to cure the mark. Whoopsie, that releases the Darkness. Also for people who don’t “see Samwitch,” uh… please note that this is a major inciting incident in Sam and Rowena’s relationship-- she’s being held prisoner to complete this spell, and literally kills the only person she ever loved for it, on Sam’s order… (technically…), which will fuel the ongoing antagonism of early s11. Their relationship isn’t fluffy. It’s built on this mutual pain.

11.01 Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire Amara. I think a lot of s11 is gonna be relevant thematically to s15, but...

11.02 Form and Void I think a better focus of “what is relevant thematically” will be found by looking at Dabb’s episodes and influence over this season… I’d start a rewatch with this one, and the introduction of Billie, who will become Dabb’s in-show avatar as he takes over the reins.

11.03 The Bad Seed Rowena finally undoes the spell she’d cast on Cas. but they’re all traumatized. Please at least read my notes on this one, too.

11.04 Baby This episode sets the new tone for Sam and Dean’s relationship going forward. They are more open with one another, and the main drama isn’t them hiding things that eventually blow up in their faces like it had been in the past. There’s still elements of that, but things never really go back to the toxicity of s9 and s10 after this. Ghoulpire.

11.05 Thin Lizzie Fake haunting at Lizzie Borden’s house, Amara eats souls.

11.06 Our Little World Cas is clearly struggling with PTSD, hiding in the bunker until he spots Metatron by chance and finally gets upset enough to go after him. Dean’s first confrontation with Amara outside of his Darknado Vision, and she… tosses him aside like a used tissue. Sam’s still having visions of the Cage and still thinks the visions are coming from God… >.> 

11.07 Plush Donna! And haunted masks! Foreshadowing that Sam’s about to confront Lucifer in the cage-- creepy clown in the elevator.

11.08 Just My Imagination Sam’s childhood imaginary friend was actually real.

11.09 O Brother Where Art Thou? Dean is yoinked from a park by Amara to have a chat about how they’re destined to become one and all that creepy nonsense, while Sam decides to go directly to Hell to talk with Lucifer and doesn’t wait for Dean. Granted, Rowena has been manipulated with lies from Lucifer in this scheme… but she’s about to learn how bad a decision that was. Dean does get to see just how casually Amara can destroy angels, though… which will become relevant it...

11.10 The Devil in the Details Where Dean tells Cas to run if Amara isn’t actually dead… but Cas is convinced he’s useless by the end of the episode and says yes to Lucifer. Owwwwww. At least read my notes on this one. They’re from last week...

11.11 Into the Mystic We meet Eileen, and I just wrote notes about this episode a few days ago. Banshee, which feeds on broken hearts, Dean’s told he’s pining for someone, and is concerned that Cas doesn’t seem himself… >.> He’s also asked if he wants to know the secret to a long and happy life… “Follow your heart” (and he confesses his powerlessness in Amara’s presence to Casifer) https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/186891847375/1111-into-the-mystic-heck-ive-written-a-lot

11.12 Don't You Forget About Me Wayward! Family learning what it means to be family. Vampires-- so the element of revenge, but this time it’s the vamps seeking revenge on a human. 

11.13 Love Hurts Quareen. A monster that basically feeds on obsession, toxic “love.” For Dean, that manifests as Amara trying to rip out his heart. I mean… this is the episode he confesses to Sam that he can’t control himself in Amara’s presence, and Sam reassures him it’s not his fault. And he explicitly says it’s not love. It’s horrifying to him, because this episode, this monster, had nothing to do with love, but with possession and control.

11.14 The Vessel What a wonderfully apt and layered title. Thus begins Dean’s s11 “pining for Cas” arc, where his entire focus shifts to Cas after unburdening his Amara issues onto Sam in 11.13. I also consider this episode to fall definitively into Dabb Era. Probably goes for episodes back to 11.10, but this is where that shift is truly evident to me. Definitely watch this one, read my notes, etc. etc.

11.15 Beyond the Mat https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/186962895400/1115-beyond-the-mat-jerry-wanek-directed (just read my notes, this is a Dabb co-writing credit episode)

11.16 Safe House Maybe I should just start copying my rewatch notes here for every episode… https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/186963627365/1116-safe-house-more-blasts-from-the-past-in-a 

11.17 Red Meat You should just watch this one, and remember this episode isn’t glorifying the codependency between Sam and Dean, it’s shattering it… It’s werewolves, after all (inner monstrousness brought to light) and read some of my past notes on it.

11.18 Hell's Angel The first half of the episode is just a lot of talking, but hooboy.. Rowena is back from the dead and we learn more of why she seeks out power-- self-preservation. Worth watching just for the second half, the failed Poughkeepsie scene, Dean’s heartbreak and fear for Cas, and Amara’s shock that with Cas standing between them, she doesn’t seem to have any affect over Dean at all… 

11.19 The Chitters For a MotW episode, I think this really captures on a meta level what Dabb intends for the whole series. It’s worth watching for itself, but have my notes as to why: https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184690946610/weve-finally-hit-1119-on-the-tnt-loop-this

11.20 Don't Call Me Shurley Chuck, and Metatron. I think everyone really needs to watch this one, just to remember how absolutely shady Chuck was. Basically from here right through the end of s11, if you pay attention to these episodes, nothing about 14.20 is the least bit shocking...

11.21 All in the Family Just like 11.20...

11.22 We Happy Few Just like 11.20 and 21

11.23 Alpha and Omega Do we not all think s14 is gonna end on a similar thematic note? Minus all the cliffhangery stuff?

12.01 Keep Calm and Carry On I can picture Dabb rubbing his hands together preparing to run the narrative in loops ad infinitum until he gets word they’ve got one season left to wrap it up. Worth it for the Dean and Mary and Cas. :’)

12.02 Mamma Mia https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184126233100/cass-flashback-to-his-time-hunting-with-mary-as (written recently…)

12.03 The Foundry The companion notes to the link in the last episode: https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187007192830/1203-the-foundry-yes-ive-already-written 

12.04 American Nightmare If you haven’t noticed, I’m just pasting rewatch notes links now… >.> https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184740345285/im-watching-1207-on-the-tnt-loop-and-yeah 

12.05 The One You've Been Waiting For See the link at 12.04 (Dean also killed Hitler)

12.06 Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox see the link at 12.04 (Also Billie is in this one, so of course I think it’s important to the ongoing Dabb Era narrative)

12.07 Rock Never Dies see the link at 12.04 (Lucifer’s nihilism laid bare, no different from Michael’s in s14)

12.08 LOTUS The episode that brought us Jack. Well, eventually…  I’m putting these notes here, even though they also cover 12.09: https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184761652205/so-the-tnt-loop-has-continued-into-s12-and-after 

12.09 First Blood (see above, plus Billie, plus Cas laying it out on the table what he will do because he loves the Winchesters... he does a lot of pining for Dean)

12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets Nephilim, Lily Sunder, Human souls as angelic power sources, the deceptions of heaven (and love versus obsession again). https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184762915965/last-ep-on-the-tnt-loop-today-1210-reminders 

12.11 Regarding Dean Watch this one, 100%. But also have my whole tag for this episode… I haven’t actually made rewatch notes for it recently, apparently? Which is a shame, because we have Sam working with Rowena, Dean riding Larry BEFORE losing his memories to a curse. There’s a lot of excellent character stuff in this one, for all of them.

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You) Watch this one. Cas is family. He loves them. This is the point I became frustrated with myself because there’s a huge gap in my hellatus rewatch notes that I thought I covered and apparently… did not… I don’t have recent notes to point you toward for convenience...

12.13 Family Feud Rowena gets her revenge on Crowley for making her kill Oskar in 10.23. Too much time travel wtf to even bother mentioning anything else.

12.14 The Raid The lengths Sam will go to to have any sort of relationship with Mary… including lying to and manipulating Dean. Vampires… and the Colt, and Sam finally kills the Alpha Vampire.

12.15 Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell between the Crowley and Lucifer drama, Sam kills the Alpha Hellhound (essentially). A lot of other deceptions and lies come to light though, and Cas disappears off to Heaven and from just one call, Dean’s already concerned about him. https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184853801830/still-on-s12-in-the-tnt-loop-and-heck-s12-looks

12.16 Ladies Drink Free (covered in the notes linked in 12.15) Werewolves, and an actual werewolf cure.

12.17 The British Invasion (covered in the 12.17 post) Eileen is back for her last real episode.

12.18 The Memory Remains https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184854556715/that-last-scene-of-1218-where-sam-and-dean-are 

12.19 The Future https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184875554515/i-find-it-endlessly-fascinating-that-i-can-rewatch (this post covers… most of the rest of s12 and loads of s13)

12.20 Twigs & Twine & Tasha Banes (see the link in 12.19)

12.21 There's Something About Mary Mary is being stripped of her will. And Free Will has been what this show has been about… forever. And what will be recontextualized in the wake of 14.20.

12.22 Who We Are And here’s where Mary’s will is restored to her.

12.23 All Along the Watchtower The proof of the spiral narrative. But also the point writing this post that I’ve determined this is all probably neither useful nor interesting to anyone other than myself, and I lose the ability to simply discuss these episodes individually anymore. From here on out, it becomes a weird blur of everything. This post is already over 14,000 words long and I still have 43 more entries to make, and I have no idea how to convey the meta import or Character Development highlights from this point forward. I don’t even know how to eliminate most of these from a watch list of essential character and meta points. So I’m just gonna… wing it… 

13.01 Lost and Found Watch this one for the soul-crushing agony, and our intro to the Nougat.

13.02 The Rising Son Jack is nearly manipulated by the Kentucky Fried Demon

13.03 Patience Our second Wraith. Watch it for, if nothing else, Dean shouting down Sam about Cas.

13.04 The Big Empty TFW in group therapy with a shapeshifter. Cas vs the Empty, defending his life with a statement that he wants to live, but… again he is unclear on his mission going forward.

13.05 Advanced Thanatology Must watch for Billie, for Dean’s complete loss of hope, and Sam’s inability to “fix him” with things that worked in the past.

13.06 Tombstone Yeehaw! Cas is Dean’s big win.

13.07 War of the Worlds Michael has been effectively “playing God” in the AU. The first rumors that Rowena is actually alive after 12.23, and Cas is captured by Asmodeus, who manipulates the Winchesters into thinking Cas is still at liberty… That’s probably all you need to know. >.>

13.08 The Scorpion and the Frog https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184946657745/so-im-still-out-ahead-of-the-tnt-loop-but-i (this also covers 13.15)

13.09 The Bad Place Wayward!

13.10 Wayward Sisters Wayward again!

13.11 Breakdown Donna! Wayward part 3! And the reminder (via Vampires) that not everyone who has a brush with the Supernatural will feel compelled to pick up a life of hunting.

13.12 Various & Sundry Villains Zombie! (which makes it relevant to Jack stuff even indirectly) Rowena! And Sam giving Rowena what she needed to protect herself, which honestly is what she’s been seeking since her introduction in s10. Sam. Just handed it to her. Let that sink in. Maybe watch the episode. It’s fun, anyway.

13.13 Devil's Bargain Heaven sucks. The bits about Sister Jo describing the feeling of weakened grace allowing her to feel a little bit human is relevant to our interests, though. 

13.14 Good Intentions Watch this one. It sets up Cas’s special power to strip memories from a human mind, and the results of that. And Dean’s wishy-washiness about just telling Cas he’s wanted, not just needed.

13.15 A Most Holy Man (see 13.08)

13.16 Scoobynatural Dude… it’s scoobynatural. just watch it because you want to.

13.17 The Thing this post covers 13.17-13.20, for convenience’s sake: https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184996231285/so-ive-watched-four-more-episodes-since-my-last 

13.18 Bring 'em Back Alive (see above)

13.19 Funeralia Billie and Rowena, Sam’s “destiny” to kill Rowena, and Castiel’s forgiveness by Naomi in Heaven as she explains how badly heaven is broken and shows him to the door, knowing he won’t stay. This is a must watch.

13.20 Unfinished Business Revenge doesn’t fix anything.

13.21 Beat the Devil https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185000752455/still-watching-s13-and-1321-is-owie-but-im 

13.22 Exodus (see 13.21) https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185000920730/dean-in-1322-so-close-to-ready-to-letting-all 

13.23 Let the Good Times Roll (see 13.21) But I have a list for this episode… maybe just read my tag starting with the posts I made on May 19, 2019… https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185002926095/1323-vs-1420-lets-start-with-1323-jack-tell and https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185003462010/1323-was-so-ridiculous-i-mean-dean-basically 

14.01 Stranger in a Strange Land At this point, I think everything is at least tangentially relevant… I mean look at this nonsense: https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185004920575/on-to-s14-and-one-of-dabbs-big-pet-themes-for

14.02 Gods and Monsters https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185014835950/aah-only-18-more-episodes-to-go-and-48-hours-to

14.03 The Scar https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185016627975/aah-1403-power-doesnt-fix-anything-dean-is 

14.04 Mint Condition https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185018115175/im-gonna-lump-1404-and-1405-together-here-for 

14.05 Nightmare Logic (covered in the post linked for 14.04)

14.06 Optimism https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185030339610/1406-jack-im-already-writing-isnt-that and https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185030940270/jack-vs-zombies 

14.07 Unhuman Nature (see that first post in 14.06)

14.08 Byzantium https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185042798280/omg-wait-literally-in-1408-while-theyre-all 

14.09 The Spear https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185043896890/haaaaa-1409-and-michaels-speech-at-the-end 

14.10 Nihilism Not rewatch notes, but a post made after the episode aired: https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182171684160/were-working-on-the-power-of-love

14.11 Damaged Goods https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185047861195/the-boxes-of-1411-omfg-a-demon-trapped-in-a-box 

14.12 Prophet and Loss https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185048948905/aah-1412-tony-you-cant-you-cant-do-this 

14.13 Lebanon https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185050918250/ive-been-holding-off-starting-1413-because-i 

14.14 Ouroboros aka the point where I firmly believe they were 100% sure s15 would be the final season, and began actively setting up the endgame. (I mean I think they knew well before this, but this was where the turn happened narratively) https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185052705595/i-wrote-a-little-about-1414-earlier-today-in 

14.15 Peace of Mind WHEEE! My delightful personal vendetta against Chip, the MotW, the direct Chuck parallel who even called himself a god, and who manipulated everyone else around him to make HIMSELF happy… like seriously, major definitely must rewatch. https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185074234960/mittensmorgul-once-again-in-1415-cas-is (I wrote so much about this episode it’s ridiculous)

14.16 Don't Go in the Woods https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185056380525/so-i-started-watching-1416-intending-to-write 

14.17 Game Night (see 14.16)

14.18 Absence https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185065385445/1418-and-1419-both-will-require-additional 

14.19 Jack in the Box (see 14.18) 

14.20 Moriah Writers lie. I think this is now officially my favorite episode of the series… 

#s14 hellatus rewatch #spiders georg of the tnt loop #how the heck else can i tag this one i mean YIKES if any post ever qualified for the tag #too many episodes to tag them all #it is definitely THIS one yikes #and i never ever tag my posts this but #supernatural meta #destiel #samwitch

[finestcreation]

Professor

@crybcbydevilman​

“Mister Fudo!” His tone was sharp as he slammed his hand down on the younger’s desk. 

Watching Akira jolt upwards was both humoring and relieving considering the pent up rage he had been feeling towards him as of late. Not only was it that time of month for the blond, something that the devilman knew well enough, the fact that Ryo hardly saw him thanks to his new girlfriend didn’t help matters. “Did you hear anything that I asked you!?” His voice was shrill as he straightened himself up, his suit was pristine, the sunglasses that normally rested on his nose now were hanging from his shirt. Giggles echoed from around the class, too faint for the teacher to scold.

Professor Asuka was sweet normally, patient and kind, but he stated explicitly on day one when he started teaching at their school that he would not allow for them to doze off if he could help it. If they were going to doze they needed to do it without him being able to find out. Due to his friendship with Akira however, he knew far too well when he would begin zoning out during his lectures. “Since you’re dozing, Akira, let me ask you something. It’s obvious you know all the answers since you aren’t paying attention...” He began to walk towards the board before writing. One other thing that everyone noticed was the fact that he only wrote in English. Ryo taught both English class and History class due to the fact that he was the only teacher in the school fluent in as many languages as he was. 

“Since we are talking about British History this semester, Queen Elizabeth the first, who rose to power on the seventeenth of November in 1558 died on the twenty-forth of March in 1603. She ruled as the last of the five monarchs of Tudor and was known as one of England’s and Ireland’s best Queens. Pray tell how did she die?” There was a tense silence as Ryo watched him expectantly, a sharp gaze in his eyes. When he didn’t answer he sighed heavily, shaking his head. “See me after class in my office, Mister Fudo.” Everyone looked between each other as they said that, the last time someone went to his office they left in such low spirits that the student body was slightly terrified of the professor. But it wasn’t often that anyone ever did go in. The last person was a class clown who never clowned around in Ryo’s classes again.

“Queen Elizabeth died of Sepsis, however this is in dispute as her loneliness could have also been a cause for her death. I know it seems strange to say that loneliness could kill someone, but truly it’s possible. However without knowing much about her life this isn’t really proven. Now does anyone know who succeeded Elizabeth?” Hands raised, something that wasn’t normal in many classes. Ryo taught like he did in America, having forty-five of the grade count as participation. “Watanabe?” He called. “Was it Anne Boleyn?” The male student responded, curiously. “No... Not quite, but you were close. Anyone else?” That was another thing he did that most teachers in Japan didn’t. His participation wasn’t dictated by right or wrong, so long as one raised their hand, it would count.

“Nakamura?” A quaint, soft, female voice piped up after her name was called. “I-It was King James VI, right?” A smile spread across his pale face. “That’s correct! Good job Nakamura.” He spoke proudly, writing down on the board before approaching her and giving her something akin to a green ticket-- for bonus points on a test or quiz. Almost every question asked garnered these tickets if answered correctly. He continued to write on the board. For the next half hour he taught as normal, until he noticed the time. 

“Alright class, that’ll be it from me today. Your homework is to read chapter seventeen, ‘The Start of the American Revolution’ from your online textbooks.“ The textbooks were written by Ryo himself, and were provided free to the class for the semester. “If you are still having trouble accessing your online textbook, please email me and I will try my best to resolve the issue, there will be a reading quiz at the beginning of class so please let me know before 11 o’clock tonight, remember I don’t check my email on weekdays after that time. However at the end of class there will be a review game as we have a test at the end of the week on British History. There will be no new material until Monday. All of you have a wonderful Wednesday, enjoy your lunch period, and remember-- Fudo!? Meet me in my office at the end of the day.”

And on that note, Ryo rose from his chair, bid farewell, and left the room. Leaving it open for the next teacher to come in and do their job. The end of the day couldn’t come fast enough it seemed... For the rest of the day the American professor was in his office doing work and grades, awaiting the knock on his door.

#thread:professor #verse:creation #crybcbydevilman #welcome #lost love of infinite times: akira #amantmusae

[kurtty-drabbles]

Scooby au (Blade)

N/A: Yeah, Blade is here. Jubilee is about to have a bad day.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @sailorstar9 @discordsworld @look-ma-no-hands336

Blade is a hunter of vampires and a vampire himself, a combination that does not render him many favours in this world. One day, Blade meets young Ororo Monroe and sense that this kid, at time, will be something else and had her number, now, Blade hates older man hitting on young girls and hate Twilight with a passion, so, when he gives his phone was a professional manoeuvre as Ororo did defeat one vampire and Blade can guess the girl will face more vampires in her life.

When Blade´s cellphone rings, smash mouth I´m a Believer, aside from earning a few giggles, it also prompts Blade to answer and get proven correct as Storm, from the X-men asked him a favour, turns out, the X-men are dealing with an ancient vampire and Blade can only pray for the safety of the students.

“Guys, buck up, we´re going to Bayville” Blade answers in a cool fashion, meanwhile, Deadpool raises his hand and speak freely. “Ah, the author remembers me, thanking aside the great mete joke, you can´t just say for us to back up and not give details, life is not a movie”

Blade sighs and adds more details. “Got it, ancient vampire, do they sparkle?”

“Wade, O swear to god, if you don´t stop with those jokes,  you will get your mouth shut” Blade threats and Wade can only answer “Dude, don´t be like Wolverine the origins, don´t be like that”

Scott Summers is looking in the huge crowd of people for one person in specific, and this time, is not Jean Grey, and when his eyes spot Kurt Wagner walking in a relaxed form, Scott finally found his target, without waiting for a proper reply, Scott put an arm on Kurt´s should and is rewards by having his attention.

(Is odd, Scott feels eyes on him, but, no one in the crown is looking at him)

“Kurt, if you have plans for tonight, you got to cancel, cause we´re dealing with an emergency and we need your help” Scott speaks as a leader and Kurt is watching him, blinking in confusion and smirking(again, the eyes are still present)

“Ok, captain, lead the way” Kurt speaks with a kind heart, yet, Scott is uneasy. The eyes are still on Scott and he knows…Jean is not here.

“Kurt, I need you and the rest of the team to be aware of the situation and you, Kurt, need to be strong on this one, ok?” Scott speaks hoping to sound convincing. Sam is the only one who is not pleased with Kurt´s presence here.

Spike, Tabbitha, Bobby, the new mutants, Rogue, Kurt and Scott are in an open space, and, Kurt notices that Jubilee, Jean and Kitty aren´t present and Scott explains why. “Look, I know everyone here does not believe in the supernatural, much less in gods or vampires, but…Jubilee is one and Jean is not something human and I suspect Kitty may be a vampire too or something else”

Kurt chuckles amused hiding his smirk with his hand, of course, the others didn´t believe until Scott give proofs. Rouge, once taking the collar she often wears show the marks, while insisting is just mosquito´s bites.

“Rogue, a mosquito´s bite that resembles teeth? Jubilee is a vampire and to top of all, an ancient one” Scott concludes and the New Mutants explain the situation to Rogue who is in disbelief state, until, realization sink in.

Kurt watches as Sam is avoiding looking at Kurt. “And you think my girlfriend is a vampire?” Kurt asked a little offended, really, comparing Kitty to a fairy Kurt can understand (one of her masks is very fae alike) now a vampire? That´s new.

Scott, noticing how the others don´t want to talk with Kurt about how strange Kitty can be, and a presence of a vampire, and whatever Jean is (“A god relate to fire” “gee, Scott, now is not the time to gush over your crush”) this enhance Kitty´s oddities to 100% and people aren´t sure if she´s human.

“Kurt, she speaks about a Dark Pharaoh with such fondness…I can guarantee the people who spoke about him…aren´t good” Scott replied and Kurt narrows his eyes bemused. “But, we don´t have any proof, maybe, Kitty is human and Jean and Jubilee are using her, what I´m trying to say is…we don´t know what Kitty is and she may be in danger…you as her boyfriend may know and deserve to know what will happen”

Kurt crosses his arms, and Sam as well the other New Mutants, swear this is similar to a pharaoh, or maybe, his presence is making them thinking in one. “And what will happen?”

“We call a great vampire hunter to kill Jubilee, we call Blade”

Jubilee could feel a telltale in the air. Kitty as well and Jean too. Something different is about to happen and Kitty knows and is ready, hardly, anything a mortal can think or conjure will impress Kitty(well, she really like that book and podcast about Galaxy hitcher series way more than that loser of Lovecraft)

“Something is coming….towards you, Jubilee” Kitty warned to the ancient vampire. Jubilee, then, asks one thing “how can you know? You know nothing about humans, but, you know anything else”

Kitty points at Jean bored “Let´s say I´m her boss” and Jean is peeved but does not refute the explanation.

Blade and his crew shows with his guns shooting at Jubilee, the bullets, of course, are made from a rare and special item that can kill vampires, Jubilee as an ancient vampire does not die from the bullet, but, it hurt.

“Ouch!” Jubilee replied attempting to mask the pain with humour and Jean is healing the vampire much to Blade´s confusion. In a solid minute, Jubilee is back at her feet as if nothing happens. “Not cool, little boy, not cool.”

Kitty is only looking at Blade. “Storm called you, Jubilee they found out you´re an ancient vampire” Kitty announced and Jubilee only give a loud duh. Her fangs are ready and as her eyes are red, the woman is not fond of being shot.

Wade jump from the glass and is about to shoot, except, he noticed the vampire´s form and hesitated and this makes him get the throw to the wall. Jean is bemused, some humans are strange and others are stupid.

“Go away, I´m not in the mood to fight” Jean speaks and Kitty yawns as Blade uses his swords to fight Jubilee, however, ancient vampires are far more powerful than regular ones and his blade did little to damage her.

“Humans!” Jean speaks and Kitty nods. Wade is confused as never in his life a vampire shows up as a normal teenager.

“Oh no, the author put me in a moral dilemma! Curse you author!” Wade curses at the wind and Jubilee manages to defeat Blade easily as well shaming him for shot first, talk later. His sword was a break and Jubilee is lecturing Blade as he´s a little boy. “Did no one ever tell you it was rude to shoot like that? Now, listen here, Blade and friend” Her blood eyes are also focused on Wade as they are listening, in a total trance, as the ancient vampire is giving orders. “I´d not want to kill you, Blade, there are many bad vampires out there, however, today you and your team aren´t here…and you, friend,” Jubilee looks at Wade who robotically gives his name making Jubilee blinks surprised “you also aren´t here, in fact, there´s no mission. Go home”

Jean clear her throat and speak about the cellphone. “Don´t forget the cellphone…humans love to track cellphones”

Kitty, to everyone(Jean and Jubilee), surprised did erase the contact and the phone call easily. She may not get humans but she understands their technology. She hopes Storm won´t be too mad, but, Kitty does not want to Jubilee to die nor deal with more vampire hunters.

Then, Blade and Deadpool are leaving realizing there´s no mission today and can use some time off.

“Ok, is the time of the truth, Kitty, who are you?” Jubilee asked confused.

“Zaorva, she´s Phoenix and Kurt is IT” Kitty laughs remembering the movie IT and how, ironically, Kurt does not like clowns.

“Well, isn´t that something?” Jean answer a bit amused, then adds “what we´ll do next?”

“Well, let´s see what the Black Pharaoh is planning, the charade has to end eventually” Kitty speaks calmly and Jubilee nods, after all, humans get old so quickly. Such a fragile life.

#scooby au #Lovecraft Kurt is partially amused #lovecraft kurt #lovecraft Kurtty #jubilee #jean grey #what a mess #Blade is here I don´t know much about him except Ryan Reynolds was his sidekick in one of the movies #kurt wagner #nightcrawler #kitty pryde #the new mutants #scott summers

[beautifulbows924]

Running Out of Time:

Joker x Reader

Masterlist

Masterlist for Running Out of Time

Joker AU- Mix between Jared Leto's and Heath Ledger's Version of the Joker, the Joker in this story does have scars and he is bleached from acid. Also, Harley Quinn doesn't exist in this AU.

Beginning Summary: You knew you wouldn't be able to try out to become a henchman for the Joker if you were a girl, and you figured this plan of yours was going to take a bit of practice, but you would be damned if you didn't at least try.

Word count: 900+

Warnings: Slight language, and violence. (But honestly is it a Joker fanfic without violence?)

You always had an affinity for the darker side of things, even when you were a little girl. Your flirtations with the dark side eventually landed you in a lot of trouble. You didn’t mind it though, trouble was apart of the “Game” of life, and it was too bad you knew exactly which card to play. You were known as 8 legs to most to business men in Gotham city, because you trapped your victims in a web of lies until they’d never get out of alive. No one knew your true identity, and no one ever suspected you were a girl. You were fine with that, you didn’t care much for the fame that came with being a criminal mastermind. You just enjoyed the adrenaline rush and the smell of gunpowder and gasoline. However, when you got a playing card from, who else? The Joker himself inviting you to “Tryout” to be one of his right hand men, you couldn’t seem to refuse. The thing was you had never pulled off this big of a deceit before on a man who was stable, let alone a psychopathic clown of sorts. But, You weren’t the kind of person to let a thing like gender get in the way of something you wanted, and for some reason getting to know the clown was high on your list of wants this year. You weren’t fazed by The Jokers looks or his name, scars included. You knew that men like that were meant to be avoided, but you never followed the rules before, so why would you start now? You knew pulling this off was going to be a challenge, and you would need an large assortment of items, including a binder, and a new haircut. Plus, you would have to learn to speak in a deeper and more manly tone of voice if you were going to pull this off.

Tryouts:

You arrived at the address that was given to you wearing your spider mask and outfit, and new haircut that you weren’t too happy about.

When you did you were quite suprized to see that the place was fancy, and not the run down shack you were expecting.

You walked up to the building and once you got to the front door a man you assumed was Frost, The Joker's right hand man, greeted you, your assumptions were proven right a moment later.

"Hello 8 legs, I assume you are here for tryouts, correct?", He asked you coldly.

"Yes", You said trying out your newly changed voice out on him first, however he didn't seem to notice as he led you to wherever you were expected to be, your insane thoughts floated and collided within your mind as you walked down the corridor that felt like it went indefinitely. You finally made it to your destination, and you walked confidentialy into the the area that was surrounded by other tryouts. You swore you could even see that The Joker himself was in a booth of glass above all of this. You went over to a man who threw a ticket with a number into your hand harshly. After, you saw that your "name" and number came up on a screen near you, you slowly drifted into your own mind, but suddenly, The Joker's voice pulled you out of your daze.

You looked up to his balcony, "Annnnnddd let the tryouts begin! Aahahaahaaa, now who's up to die?", He asked Frost who was standing next to him.

"Number 25 and 33", He said back to him.

"Shit", You muttered under your breath, number 33 was you.

"Oooo what a change of events we have 8 legs and Mr. Chucky!", The Joker said excited.

You went into the ring that was placed in the center of the room, swinging your legs over the bars that made a cage around it.

"Ready, set... Match!", Frost said shooting his gun to let you know it was time to start. You sized up your opponent, he was big burly, but you saw that he didn't have good foot work, and he was swaying a bit, possibly even a bit drunk you thought. You took that to your advantage and swept your feet under him knocking him to the ground, but not for long he got back up punching you square in the jaw. You cursed, but kicked him in the face hard sending a few of his teeth flying, he didn't seem to like that, and slammed you into the one of the bars at the cages edge. You couldn't take this asshole any more. You took your leg and hit him twice in the stomach causing him to stumble and fall to the ground. You took the opportunity to throw yourself on top of him smashing your gloved hands into his face over and over and over again.

You heard slow claps and turned around to see The Joker.

"I think that's even a little violent for someone like me spider", Called The Joker above you.

"He got what he deserved", You retorted, admiring how pretty the brusies looked on this guy's face.

"Your not wrong, hmm, now how would you like to come up here and watch the rest of this with me", He said sending you a silver capped smile.

"Sounds like fun", You said deeply, smilling.

"You know what else sounds like fun, Me and You. I think we are going to be great business partners, I like your style spider", He said down at you.

"What have I gotten myself into", you thought.

*Thanks for reading! Leave a Note or Reblog if you Enjoyed it*

Remember that requests and drabbles are always open!💕💚

Want to be tagged in new fanfics? Click here.

I thought you might want to be tagged:)

@tayloer123

Joker Taglist:

@killjoynotes

#Joker #Joker x reader #Joker gifs #joker fic #joker imagine #joker series #joker writer #fanfictions #fanfic #fanfic writer #jared leto #joker jared leto #joker au #joker and you #joker and Y/N #joker x You #joker fanfic #joker gif #running out of time #writers on tumblr #writers #fandom #joker dc #dc universe #mistah J #dc comics #dc movies #dc #puddin #Discontinued

[notspoondere]

February 2018 List Re-Review

As an fun little thing, let’s go over my previous analysis and talk about what I predicted and whether or not it was correct!

I can’t think of anything better, so let’s just go off of a simple metric of “correct/maybe/incorrect” and I’ll tally up the results at the end.

Apoqliphort Towers

Before you get scared, Scout is still at one.  Hit that with Cosmic Cyclone and you win the game instantly.

But yeah, Towers is back.  Thankfully, we now have Utopia and Borrelload and a bunch of other cards to deal with it, so I really don’t expect Qliphorts to ever be a problem again.  But with Genius, at least they can be played again.

Qliphorts saw zero competitive play, so I’ll say this was spot-on.  Correct.

Grinder Golem

More degenerate token spam got hit, but I feel like this just makes it a slightly worse Gofu that’s just as sacky.

It’s sort of that, but in practice, nobody plays it at 1.  I’ll say a maybe since this isn’t exactly wrong.

Performage Damage Juggler

As far as practical application goes… the verdict is still out.  I don’t know if 1 Juggler is enough to see competitive play.  Consider the following:

The typical Lightsworn combo off of Scorpio uses Trick Clown because it makes you take damage, which triggers Thousand Blades for a free Rank 4.  If you send Juggler instead, you get Clown in hand, which is neat, but you need to Normal Summon or discard him in order to get his effect.

Invoked can use this card (with Aleister the Meltdown Invoker) to turn any hand of Aleister + Brilliant Fusion into Aleister + 2x Mechaba and 3 cards in hand, but it can do that with another combo anyways.

We’ll see on this one.  I like it being back, though.

I was visibly on the fence about this, but I’ll admit I got this wrong.  Juggler is an excellent card and has seen plenty of play since it was unbanned.  It turns out that Hat Tricker is a much better card than I expected, and everyone makes Curious, the Lightsworn Dominion with EARTH monsters anyways.

Still love it being back, honestly.  Great card.

Monster Reborn

We all know what this card does, we all know how ridiculous it is.  Get ready for this card to “enhance” all of your mirror matches.  I personally cannot wait to start sacking games with this card.  Can anyone say Lonefire Reborn Lonefire?

Monster Reborn has seen play!  Who could have expected this!?  Correct.

Solemn Judgment

Another step toward TCG/OCG parity, “God says ‘NO!’” has finally been put to one copy per deck for the first time in I don’t even know how long.  This card speaks most closely to Counter Fairies (given the recent support), but it could see play in virtually any deck not running Destrudo.

I don’t really like negation or backrow, but I guess it’s neat to have this back.  Check with me in six months and I’ll want every copy of it burned, though.

This card’s great!

I fucking hate it, but it’s seen tons of play.  Correct.

Artifact Moralltach

This card was not $7 a day ago, I swear.  The hype is real.

Artifacts have strong potential for Side Deck play, and possibly in the main with Sanctum as accessible as it is, though that hasn’t been too successful since the days of Artifact Invoked Windwitch.  Keep an eye on this for sure.

Moralltach is still sitting around $5, but has seen no play.  This one was definitely wrong.

Black Luster Soldier - Envoy of the Beginning

Who ever expected to see this card at 3 again?

Burning Abyss is the only competitive deck regularly playing this card, but it actually excels at two things BA can’t really do that effectively: permanent spot removal and dealing with multiple big threats.  This card deserves to be at 3, but it won’t be totally irrelevant there, either.

Still sees play, though I don’t think anyone plays three copies since it’s kind of a brick that doesn’t contribute to a board.  I’ll say this was correct, though you can feel free to correct me if BA decks have actually cut it since then.  (I sold it a few months ago for Shaddolls, sorry...)

Card Trooper

Step 1: Troop. Summon Card Trooper, it doesn’t matter how.

Step 2: Dupe.  Activate Machine Duplication, targeting Card Trooper.   Thankfully, chances are that there won’t be more than one target on the field, so it’s hard to mess this one up.

Step 3: Scoop.   Pick up your cards and leave because your opponent dropped Ash Blossom on your Machine Duplication, or because you didn’t draw your unsearchable 2-card combo, or because pushing 5700 damage isn’t enough to win the game anyways.  Whoops.

Unfortunately, I don’t expect this to make huge waves competitively, but… yeah, this combo is super fun, and I’ll probably try it with Phantom Knights or something for laughs.  I guess it doesn’t hurt to have it back.

Card Trooper DID see play!  For like a week.  It showed up in two regional lists.  I’ll admit that I was wrong, but clearly it was phased out for a reason.

Mind Control

Now THIS is actually an interesting prospect.  This card has not seen an errata of any kind, and is arguably still playable going second.  Taking control of monsters actually breaks Co-links and the card itself doesn’t prevent you from using your opponent’s monsters to summon from the Extra Deck, so this could actually be a strong counter to some strategies.  Mind Control is definitely a card you should keep in mind.

This was absolutely correct.  Mind Control has seen Side Deck play and occasional Main Deck play in strategies designed to go second like Mekk-Knight Invoked.

Bottomless Trap Hole

Another interesting unhit.  Trap cards in general were thought to be powercrept, so Konami has been taking strides in releasing a number of the most powerful ones ever, such as this.  Note: HAT did not have 3x Bottomless.  Also note that HAT will not come back because of this and Moralltach, and that Bagooska is still pretty much a better card than Rafflesia.

I feel fairly confident in saying this card isn’t good enough to be played even at 3, but I feel as though there’s a small chance I could be proven wrong.

Was absolutely 100% correct on this, it saw no play whatsoever.  I don’t think I met anyone in the few days after the banlist that wasn’t hyped about this, but even then, I felt it was pretty obvious that this card was not good enough to see play without substantial Trap Hole support.

Torrential Tribute

ahahahhHAHAHAHHHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

This card being at 3 is complete insanity.  Full power Zoo format had a few people side decking Blind Obliteration, a card which is almost strictly worse than this, and now they won’t ever need to.

I know in a week I’ll come to hate the absolute hell of playing through 3x Torrential, but for now, I can’t wait to see how people cheese their way through majors with this card in triplicate.  It’s more than powerful enough, in any case.

Once again, 100% correct.  ABC, Trickstars, Burning Abyss, and Paleo Frogs all found success with this card.  I don’t think this was a surprise to anyone though.

And that’s it.  SPYRAL is probably dead, Magicians are hurt badly, and several rogue/tier 2 archetypes got a small boost.

SPYRAL dropped off really hard, but was still played.  Magicians require a bit of thought: Technically, this list did absolutely nothing to stop them from being the best deck in the game, but it would have been much worse (like +3 or +4 on top of Vortex/Norito/Dweller) if Iris or Joker were still in the game.  I’ll give this a maybe, but I admit that’s kind of generous.

EXTRA: Card That Did Not Get Hit, Somehow

Trickstar Reincarnation

I asked our local Trickstar player what he thought of the banlist.  He reached into his deck box, pulled out Maxx “C” and Gofu, and gave me a shit eating grin.

Despite topping multiple events, this deck somehow did not get hit in the slighest.  The searchable 2-card combo that banishes your hand whenever you search or draw a card is still totally, 100% legal.  Konami says it’s cool.  This is fine.

This is NOT FINE.  Welcome to the best deck of the next format.

Okay, something you have to understand about this format: Draco vs. full power SPYRAL was by far Draco’s worst matchup, while Trickstar vs. full power SPYRAL was a fairly solid matchup for Trickstar thanks to the fact that Trickstars are practically an engine for a deck of hand traps, normal traps, and Scapegoat, all things SPYRAL are really bad against.

It turns out that Trickstar isn’t THAT great against everything else, though I hold that it is still a viable deck.

In terms of results, the deck was absolutely not the best deck of the format, though it was Tier 1/2 for a while until Draco came back.  It actually won a YCS once, I believe.

I’ll say this was wrong, but hopefully you can see it was close to being right.

Final total:

Correct: 7

Maybe: 2

Wrong: 4

Correct + Maybe = 9

Correct + Maybe / Total x 100 = 9(100)/13 = 69.23% Not Wrong™.  Nice.

Strictly speaking, I got a bunch of other stuff right by making no comment on cards I thought were totally irrelevant, but hopefully this is a reasonable/conservative metric of how good my predictions are.

[theorynexus]

Pseudo-Liveblogging: 2B

Your attempt to name John Egbert “Zoosmell Pooplord” has failed.  It was an interesting attempt, considering “Zoosmell” at least relates to the “Biologist” part of his present “ectoBiologist” chumhandle, but Pooplord doesn’t really work all that well with it.  On the other hand, at least you seem to have presciently related the joke name to his command to defecate upon his desk, and the name quite obviously relates well to that of Farmstink Buttlass, who is his (ecto-)biological sister.    On that note, I am sure you are quite aware that Dave Strider and his (ecto-)biological sister, Rose Lalonde, will both also receive failed naming attempts. These shall be much less silly and much more insulting names, Iin2ufferable Priick and Flighty Broad respectively, shall be offered to them by the trolls Sollux Captor (who I have admittedly been spoiled into knowing is actually named Solluxander [which fits quite well with his theme, due to the fact that it is not only bending the rules {DOOM}, but also an example of an integrated “11″ {beenary code/dualism}], though I still have no idea what Pesterquest [I think that’s what it’s called] even IS, and am vague and uncertain as to what the implications for this are, other than it maybe having something to do with gender identity and Shrek) and Kanaya Maryam (respectively).  The names are both rejected in spite of the fact that Rose Lalonde calls Dave an insufferable prick before Dave is given his name, and the additional fact that Dave calls Rose a flighty broad before her name is known.   This was obviously played off as a laughable result of the MSPA Reader trying to “remember” these characters names, when the opportunity to name them first comes up. That this gag is brought up again in Hivebent very briefly (in such a way as to create symbolic connections between Karkat and Dave), and that it is connected to the Honorary Placronym concept the Alpha Kids’ side of the scratch both barely need or deserve mentioning. Neither does the fact that the naming jokes/ectobiology tie-ins continue in later examples.

Your true identity is the Ghosty Trickster. You earn that identity later in life not only via your mastery of the Breeze, which allows you to potentially dissolve into pure spirit/wind and thereby avoid damage; you also earn this title by ushering in the concept of Trickster Mode into the comic, and more importantly evoking the power of the Ultimate Juju (which contains a version of yourself and each of your friends at the time, and is ambiguously related to the Trickster Sucker/Lollipop[s] [which will likely be explained/elaborated upon via the Candy epilogue]), allowing you to play cosmic pranks such as causing your arm to appear across numerous points in various timelines and continuities, as well as allowing a more adept user to teleport themself and their friends fully to any point in space/time (perhaps in any reality), and thereby to further play tricks such as antagonizing the young Caliborn such that you and said friends become trapped in said juju (powering it until it is used as a weapon against him).  ([{Caliborn DOES call him that, by the way, if anyone is forgetting--- or at least refers to his powers as “TRICKSY GHOST POWERS,” or something of the sort.}]) You are also the Heir of Breath, which is a mythological role which quite suits you, on account of the aforementioned identity. Breath is associated with the spiritual, by the way, which is likely your reason for the affinity for the paranormal. At the same time, however, it constantly feels like you are trapped-- stuck, if you will, in a manner which borders on the titular --not just in your home, and certainly not just in your room (which affords a nice view of the Breath Blue sky by means of its soon to be no-longer-confining window), but in a restrictive sort of life, filled with drudgery and inconvenient (yet friendly, in a coddling sort of way) ties with family, which contributes to the general feeling that you are bound to the earth, despite a destiny that clearly lies beyond it. Soon, that will change: you will become the first of your friend group to enter the Medium, though you will have paradoxically proven to have been there all along. You see, you have a Dream Self, which has been living on the moon of Prospit ever since you were born. In fact, paradoxically quite well before it, as well. This self is periodically exposed to the effects of the Eclipse, which allows you to dimly view visions of the future in Skaia’s clouds.  Since you are not awake, there is no chance that you could remember anything consciously, but your subconscious mind has been influenced by these cloud visions for years. As such, your interests have been somewhat tailored to your future, and foreshadow things:  particularly, the movies you are a fan of will both directly effect and reflect the events of your session in a foreshadowing and paradoxically interactive manner. Obviously, Con Air will directly lead into your skits wherein you hand a dirtied bunny to various children and pretend to unite with your beloved wife and daughter (yay, Candy timeline reflecting this with Roxy and Rose just a little bit, even if the relationship between John and Roxy supposedly doesn’t work out?).    However, others are more subtle:  Armageddon foreshadows the Reckoning, and its Deep Impact upon the Earth; Mac and Me and Little Monsters both suggest blossoming relationships (friendship or otherwise) between humans and monsters that look like Howie Mandel in weird monster makeup [with Karkat’s small horns possibly being a reference to the alien in Mac and Me, but I’m not sure]; Ghost Dad relates to Nannasprite, Ectobiological “fatherhood” over all of the Kids on John’s part, and of course Dad’s death (and post-death “haunting,” once John sees Jane’s father in the Alpha Kids’ session and/or before that, when the version that sacrificed himself for Davesprite’s sake met Vriska and then briefly saw a “Ghost Dad” in a Dream Bubble); Ghostbusters is just silly, though I guess it could maybe be a long-term reference to the eventual double deaths that start going around; otherwise, it is probably related to Slimer seeming like the ghost on John’s shirt, or just general paranormal silliness ([obviously, unleashing an evil god through a portal connecting two worlds has nothing to do with it]);  aaaannnd... I can’t remember any of the other posters for now, and won’t be skipping ahead to see them, yet, considering I am doing this in a linear and sane manner. For years and years, you have been demented by the horrific image of a Clown Missing an Arm and an Eye, an insidious result of Gamzee Makara’s manifestation of his dark ancestral chucklevoodoos, which directly contributed to the destined destruction of your universe by means of Jack Noir (Blackjack, Ace of Spades, the Joker gone wild), whose black affections were made to boil and Rage by his Bardic inspiration-- so exceeding his natural affinity for the Black Queen that he would usurp her and become the Sovereign Slayer.  By means of his Rage-inducing chucklevoodoos, you became mentally unstable, and would come to scrawl colorful images of harlequins upon your walls and posters in periodic fugues, much to your own later disappointment and shock. This would cause your Dad to embrace a hobby of collecting and gifting harlequins to his dear, sweet, adopted John in order to try to show he appreciated his twisted child and was attempting to relate to him. Throughout your childhood, you and your friends would attract the attention and ire of various other trolls, leading you to have a negative disposition toward the creators of your universe and to ironically lose much of your precious time early in the game disbelieving them or otherwise being unable to cooperate alongside the alien player group; whereas there would have been a good possibility that if they had contacted you after you had entered the game and declared they were another group of players, it would have been much more likely that you would have believed them. That might have smoothed things out significantly.  Oh well. Them’s the 8r8ks. Speaking of, you would be patronized by a spider-themed troll who was particularly excited to insert herself into your personal progression and rise to godhood.  That trolls name will remain a Sekret, at least for now.  She is a very divisive and inter8sting character. While all of these aforementioned facts have a very important influence on your life and the progression of your story, the fact that you are descendant (by way of adoption) from Colonel Sassacre and Betty Crocker will also greatly shape the environment you grow up in. As will your interest in Harry Anderson and his biography. The latter person is not very much elaborated upon in the story, though his hole punching tricks are used to inspire advances in punch card-based alchemy.  The former two, I shall address more when I reach pages relating more to them. In the meantime, I am thinking I might accelerate my schedule on reading the Candy epilogue. As I was attempting to look up the Wise Guy book so I could double check that Harry Anderson doesn’t come up as being, say, secretly the guy who, I may have slightly spoiled myself on it by seeing that there is a character named Harry Anderson Egbert, apparently, and I don’t want to expose myself to too much more potential spoiling. There are too many questions that fact generates by itself.   (My guess would have to be that, if Terezi was correct about John and Roxy not working out, either the kid is born before they break up and therefore one of them takes up the traditional Homestuck role of being single parent to the child, or alternatively, John ends up adopting them as an apparently unnamed baby, continuing the tradition of a guardian discovering a mysterious seemingly abandoned child, possibly in debris of some sort.   The former seems more likely, given the bitter taste that’s supposed to settle in after the sweet of the candy wears off.) Soooo... Yeah, I think I might do one more of these posts and then start up the other epilogue’s read.   Or just start after this. I don’t know.

#Homestuck Spoilers #Homestuck Analysis #Homestuck Reread #John Egbert