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unhappy-day-in-hell · 3 months

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The Dissection of Hazbin Hotel, Episode One: part 1

Hazbin Hotel is finally coming out and I want to talk about it!

Seems unreal, doesn’t it!? After four years it’s here, and it’s one of the biggest train wrecks I've ever seen with my own two eyes!

Like many people, I used to be a fan. I got into Hazbin at the end of 2021, and stayed with it until mid-2023, when I woke up to the series’ flaws and saw how horrible Vivziepop was as a person. But for that time, Hazbin gave me something to look forward to during a dark time in my life. I was excited for it. I liked the idea it would be a complex, dark, and nuanced look into some dark topics. I was convinced Angel’s trauma would be handled with care, because Addict handled it with care. I was convinced Hazbin would be a show that said “no one is beyond becoming a better person if they just make the decision to try, no matter how much bad they’ve done.” Being set in Hell, where the UNIVERSE ITSELF has given up on the souls damned there (the furthest extreme you can possibly get to), was a good way to exaggerate this conflict.

Spoilers: It wasn’t that! Apparently it was never meant to be that in the first place!

Vivziepop threw out the original premise that everyone loved in favor of a Heaven war! She ripped off the “Rose Quartz = Pink Diamond” reveal with Rosie-Lilith-Eve. By extension, they de-clawed Alastor by making him Rosie’s pawn. (I loved Alastor. I wanted to see more of his deranged self; I wanted to see what he would do when he was proven wrong when redemption was possible.)

When I watched Episode One, I started writing my thoughts down. Then I tripped and wrote 13,000 words.

So I’m gonna post them here as a review! It’s long, so I’m going to break it into four parts.

I can be very forgiving of flawed projects, but in regards to Hazbin, I’m petty. No nitpick is too small. I will compare it to the pilot (because it’s in that Viv-canon-limbo where you need to have seen it but she pretends it’s not canon), and I’ll have tangents and rewrite ideas.

The story-crafting for this show is one of the more important elements to me, so I give a lot of attention to that.

And there will be SPOILERS, including all leaks! So just be careful if you don’t want spoilers or leaks!

Let’s go!

Part 1: //

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

--Hazbin Hotel opens with a huge exposition dump about the supposed creation of Hell.

And IMMEDIATELY, we’ve run into a problem.

Sometimes, stories will open with lore dumps like this. They can be useful in giving the audience important knowledge, or setting the stage for the world. However, this lore dump provides us with neither of those things.

Even for people who aren’t religious (me), the story of Eden is really well known (even just the pop culture version of it.) That means you don’t need to tell us the creation story at this moment-- What we NEED right now is to understand what this version of Hell is like.

What info do we need in order to understand the setting of Hell that Charlie lives in?

Important stuff like this: Hell functions like a big city with laws, and isn’t like the pop-culture fire and brimstone image we might have; dead sinners manifest with new bodies and are exclusively in the Pride Ring, which makes them the property of Lucifer, and they’re immortal unless killed by angels; angels come down once a year to erase them to keep them from becoming too numerous. Emphasize that it’s like a shitty country, with shitty jobs and leaders, Lucifer at the tippy-top. Emphasize the Sinners’ fear of the annual exterminations -- emphasize that Charlie feels helpless but wants to save them.

Your job as a storyteller is to tell us what we need to know, when we need to know it.

Right now, we don’t need to know why Hell was created – we need to know how Hell WORKS in the present. That’s your goal, to bring us into the world.

The only necessary information this narration gives us is that “exterminations exist." Everything else about the deeper lore can be shown to us later, after we’ve had some time to get to know the world.

(Have this be a fairytale Charlie tells during an emotional, quiet moment; or in a flashback, Lilith tells this to a baby Charlie. Or it can be a musical number Lilith or Lucifer sings for her, trying to make themselves look better than they actually were.)

--“Angels are beings made of pure light who worshipped good and shielded all from evil.” WE’RE FIVE SECONDS INTO THIS AND ALREADY WE HAVE A HUGE THING TO UNPACK. Buckle up.

So Hazbin's lore goes like this: the Angels already exist, and they worship a vague figure of “Good” (who isn’t God), and defend people from “Evil” (who isn’t the devil, because Lucifer hasn’t rebelled yet.) Since Lucifer hasn’t rebelled yet, evil really shouldn’t exist yet. Where is this evil coming from?

(I have a bad feeling it’s Roo -- the Root of Evil, that character Viv drew years ago and said is a looming presence in the distance. Is Roo some kind of “eldritch abomination”, who existed before the angels? Sadly, I think that’s very likely, at this point.)

Either way: Good and Evil are forces that already existed at the start of creation, before Adam and Eve and everything else, and Lucifer and the Fallen Angels had nothing to do with it. Which just doesn’t mesh, if you’re going to have a Christian base for the lore.

Also: It says the angels defend people from Evil. But who are the angels defending? They explicitly show that humanity hasn’t been created at this point, because we see the birth of Adam in a few moments; so who the heck needed defending during this period of time!?

…

Alright, to get this out of the way: Hazbin Hotel won’t use God as a character, apparently because they don’t want to offend anyone, or so I heard. It’s something to debate; was this a good idea on their part, or is it cowardice? For me, I personally feel like it’s the latter. The show has already taken many other incredibly sacred figures and stories, and jumbled them up and tweaked them for the show’s awful lore -- and Viv has never cared about offending anyone before so why would she care now -- which is why it feels spineless to me, for them to NOT go all the way and just use the Capital G himself. Plenty of other stories have used the Christian God as a character just fine.

If they’re worried about doing it tactfully, the solution is to just… NOT write God as an asshole? Maybe try for some genuine sincerity in the writing for once? Make him the single character in the cast who is never played for a joke, and whose personality has no stupid quirks. Have him be very distant, maybe even locked in Heaven’s Palace, that way you don’t have to show him more than a handful of times, but the audience will know he exists; and use his limited screentime to make him display wisdom and warmth.

Maybe he acts like a distant observer of the Universe, and he clearly knows something we don’t; he tut-tuts at the bad things, but “This, You See, is how it Must Be. And by the end of the show he’s right because everything works out for the good. Or... something.

My point is, they already used all this other sacred stuff from the bible, they might as well go all the way. (Viv certainly didn’t have a problem using Lilith or vodou symbols, did she?)

--Lucifer was a dreamer who was deemed dangerous to the order of Heaven. Then he fell in love with Lilith for her fierce independence and they wanted to share free will with humanity.

This story. This rewriting of the usual biblical tale to make Lucifer sympathetic.

It just doesn’t work.

It also ties back to their refusal to use God as a character. The character of God was an INTEGRAL piece of this mythological story, and God and Lucifer were inseparably intertwined figures in it. Lucifer’s entire rebellion and “Pride” sin was against God. You could say... Lucifer has major fucking "Daddy Issues." (That's a phrase Alastor will say later!) To take away his Daddy Issues is just so lame.

Even worse, this story is trying to paint Lucifer as a misunderstood artist who cared about creation. (He's so different from the actual mythological figure, it makes you wonder what the point of even using these figures as characters is.)

…There are two possibilities.

Possibility One: I wonder if this is a “sanitized” version of the story that Lucifer tells Charlie to make himself look better. (This feels very much like one of those “history lessons” that a fantasy world will introduce to the characters early on, only for that history lesson to be shown as a lie later on.) But if that’s the case, it’s WEIRD for Hazbin Hotel to do that with the story of the Garden of Eden?? Everyone/most everyone in the audience will already know the gist of how the Eden story goes, so they'll know this retelling isn’t right -- so what, are we expected to wait for Charlie to gormlessly stumble into the truth, ~as a twist~ that GASP D:> her father INTENTIONALLY fucked humanity over!?!?!? HE DID IT ON PURPOSE AND ALL THE SUFFERING OF HELL WAS HIS GOAL!?!?!? DAD HOW COULD YOU. That’ll be a shitty twist. The audience already knows this, so it’ll just be pounding our heads into the wall waiting for Charlie to get there.

(And also, it’s very suspicious they don’t actually SAY what Lucifer’s “ideas and dreams” were for creation. So that could be a lie by omission that he uses for his fairytale. In reality, he might have had awful, shitty, malicious ideas, which Heaven stopped him from doing, and Lucifer’s been a big baby about it ever since.)

Possibility two: This is legitimately the retelling of the Eden story in the Hazbin Universe. Which just suuuuuuucks! If Lucifer was a kind, caring individual, why would he let his Hell Kingdom become a total SHITHOLE of suffering? Wouldn’t he be a kind ruler? Wouldn’t he try to run the ship better?

And it’s a horrible decision to woobify him in general. You’re seriously going to de-claw THE DEVIL? You’re gonna rip out his teeth and make him soggy!? You’re gonna make the King Of Evil, The Father of All Lies, LUCIFER, EMBODIMENT OF PRIDE, a wet meow-meow sadboy who did nothing wrong?? COME ON!! What makes Lucifer an interesting character IS THAT HE MADE THE CHOICE to fuck everything up on purpose! He’s interesting BECAUSE of how he, to this day, wants to ruin the Earth to stick it to God! You can’t just take that away from him!

It’s incredible that these two possibilities are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but both are unsalvageable. There is NO winning with this backstory. They fucked up.

--Ah wait there it is. The apple is the same color as the Vague Evil’s eye from above.

Yep….

Man, making Eve the twist villain of the story (before or after Roo shows up? Is Roo inside of Eve controlling her? It doesn’t matter). You couldn’t write a worst twist.

I ask you: Why is it Eve, and not Adam who is the secret twist villain? Or, why isn’t it Adam+Eve TOGETHER who are the twist villains?

If this were the only instance of female characters being demonized, I wouldn’t think anything of it -- but there is a clear pattern across all of Viv’s writing. Viv is a known misogynist, and this feels like an extension of her misogyny. Of course the twist villain is female. Of course Roo The Secret Eldritch Abomination is female. The male characters get sympathy, or stuff handed to them. Lucifer is a good lad who did nothing wrong! Alastor isn’t evil, he was hired to protect the Hotel and is a father figure to Charlie! ADAM got to go to Heaven and Eve didn’t!

I have absolutely no doubt that the blame will be put on Eve, and Adam will be given a pass because Eve tricked him to eat the fruit of knowledge, or something.

--Yep, this thing is animated like a Root. It’s totally Roo.

--Eyes… just like Roo’s root tongue. Yep.

--Heaven only allowed Lucifer to see the bad of humanity, never the good.

They really ARE trying to woobify him, aren’t they? At this point, the only way they could salvage any of this is by making this a sanitized bedtime story (which again wouldn’t work in itself.)

This is the fucking DEVIL we’re talking about.

He is the King of Hell, and therefore, he is the ruler of the Princes of Sin, the Ars Goetia, and the legions of Hell that are trying to corrupt the Earth! We see in Helluva Boss that demons do actually go to make Earth worse. If Lucifer is King and didn’t want this to happen, he has the power to stop at.

Plus: there are portals to go to Earth, and magic to watch the Earth as seen on Helluva Boss. So Lucifer has every means to look at the Earth any way he wants, and could see the good the Earth has to offer…… and it's because he’s the one bringing evil to the Earth in the first place in order to destroy good (technically to fight against God, but God ain't here, so "Good" it is.) That’s still Hell’s MO in this world. We’ve seen this on Helluva Boss, which is canon to this universe. And you cannot convince me that the King of Hell was “oblivious to it” or "the other royal demons have their own power and Lucy can't stop them" or some excuse like that, as if the Princes of Sin and the Ars Goetia are doing it secretly under Lucifer’s nose and Lucifer doesn’t know it’s going on. You cannot convince me of this.

Plus even then -- if Lucifer were still a sadboy who WANTS to see the good of the Earth (even if all he sees is the bad), that means… in theory, he has a “good heart”. So why isn’t he a kinder King?

Because this is either a fake fairytale or Viv is a bad writer who doesn’t think anything through. (It’s both.)

--Lucifer lost his spark, huh? What does that actually mean? Does it mean his title as King is only symbolic and he doesn’t do any ruling? (This can’t be right – we see later in the episode Lucifer still has some authority over various things, like meeting with Adam but foisting that responsibility on Charlie.) Does losing his spark just mean he gave up trying to be good, and now just revels in evil?

And, as the embodiment of Pride, shouldn’t Lucifer of all people be the most stubborn, unshakable person in existence? Instead of losing his SPARK, he should just grow jaded and bitter but still have that fire to prove he's better than everyone. He’s the King of Hell for a reason.

(And if Lilith thrives, why isn’t she the ruling Queen of Hell?)

--So Lilith uses her powers to Empower Demons…

This wording is VERY suspicious, and once again, feels like a sanitized bedtime story for Charlie.

What does empowering demons actually MEAN? Huh? It sounds very good in this fairytale, but look at the evidence presented to us. We see what Hell is like (...eventually.) It’s a shithole where everyone is suffering and constantly beating and killing each other. For all we know, her “empowering demons” actually means she encourages everyone’s worst behavior, gives sinners powers and weapons that they can use against each other, and is the reason why Hell is so awful.

…Oh god, if LILITH is the cause of Hell being bad, and Lucifer is a Good Boy who sits back and doesn’t do anything, then it’s another female character being written to fuck everything up!

(We don’t know when Eve takes Lilith’s spot, but I don’t think it’s quite at this point in history. So Eve doesn’t get the blame here just yet. Hopefully?)

--Overpopulation was always a bad motivation for Hazbin Hotel. I thought that even when I was a fan. Because: if Hell is a finite space where you can run out of room… then so is Heaven? If you start redeeming sinners for the sake of giving Hell more room… theeeeeen eventually HEAVEN is going to get overpopulated and run out of room. What then?

Hell also has other Rings the sinners are not allowed to go to. Are we going to mention the other Rings’ existence at any point? Will the idea of opening the other Rings up to sinners even be presented as an option at any point?

How much of Hazbin’s lore is going to be locked in Helluva Boss, unable to be shown in the series proper? Will the Princes of Sins, the Hellborn demons, the Ars Goetia ever make an appearance, or are they not allowed to? Will Charlie ever have to deal with the fact there is an entire slave caste in Hell, the Hellhounds? Is she going to free the Hellhounds? Imps are also oppressed, will the show ever explicitly TALK about that? Will the worldbuilding show us how imps, hellhounds, and Sinners intermingle in Pentagram City?

CAN HELLBORN DEMONS BE REDEEMED AND GO TO HEAVEN?

So many questions. And knowing Viv’s style, I highly doubt we’ll ever get any answers.

--So Charlie inherited her mother’s dream. But they completely neglected to mention what Lilith’s dream actually was. Do they mean she wants Charlie to “empowering sinners,” in general? Or did Lilith, specifically, want the exterminations to end?

They use such vague words, when this is one moment they should just give us a clear answer. This whole backstory was a mistake and a waste of time, but if you are going to use it to set up Charlie inheriting something from Lilith, you have to make it clear what she’s inheriting.

And also, while it’s not ENTIRELY a Chosen One scenario, in the pilot we got the sense that Charlie was the one who made the choice to try and help sinners, on her own. Now though, Charlie was GIVEN this dream by someone else, because she can’t have agency. It would be one thing if Lilith just taught Charlie to feel compassion (that would be fine, parents teach their kids morals all the time), but Charlie still came to the redemption conclusion on her own – it’s another for her to be said to have “inherited this from Lilith” or is carrying on Lilith’s legacy.

.................

With the opening monologue over, the only thing we know is that the lore is very messy. It has a Christian basis, but it's been fucked up so badly that it makes you wonder what the point even is.

Good and Evil are living eldritch forces that existed before creation and have nothing to do with God, Lucifer, or anything else like that.

There is no God, (who is the ENTIRE CENTRAL POINT for the biblical-inspired stuff in Hazbin); instead a whole Council of Elder Angels rules the universe.

Roo has no basis in anything.

I think in some tellings, Lucifer was the first Angel? Even if not, he was one of the highest. So Lucifer should be one of the ruling angels. They have to severely weaken him as a figure in order to make him under the control of the other angels. (After all, in Christian mythology, it's God who made Lucifer fall. Another way his absence fucks the story.)

And my final takeaway from combing over this lore is: why didn't Viv just make her own fantasy world? Everything in this show is only passingly similar to the stuff it's based on. If you're gonna take these aspects from religions and fuck with them so much, just make your own fantasy world where you can do whatever you want.

That was only the opening monologue. This is gonna be a long ride guys!

#Hazbin Hotel Critical #Vivziepop Critical #The Dissection of Hazbin Hotel #Episode 1

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turbulenthandholding · 4 months

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The Bear Season 3 Musical Speculation: Sydcarmy Edition

After all of the discussion of what songs from Monster could end up in The Bear season 3 last week, I have been inspired to take a look at R.E.M.'s other albums to speculate which song (or songs) might pop up in The Bear season 3.

I'm going to do it in three parts: this one, which is focused on Sydcarmy (and extrapolating what song could pick up where Strange Currencies leaves off), followed by two additional parts - general songs and a totally unserious third part.

There has been a lot of excellent meta about how, with the panic attack scene in s2e9, Strange Currencies actually ends up being a Sydcarmy song. (This post by @myloveismineallminee is a great example, as are this post by @chansoooo1-blog, this post by @bellassima, and others)

In thinking about season 3 and the importance that R.E.M. songs have played in the show so far, it makes sense to me that they will carry forward what they have been indicating about Carmy and Sydney’s relationship:

these words, you will be mine

these words, you will me mine, all the time

But using another R.E.M. song that is an emotional sequel to Strange Currencies. Strange Currencies is, as @thoughtfulchaos773 says here, a song about wooing (see tags especially). These are the songs that I think could be that and make (at least some) sense to continue and expand upon that in a season 3 arc.

My seven song ideas follow - definitely interested in hearing what people think!

Be Mine (New Adventures in Hi-Fi)

@thoughtfulchaos773 has posted about this one before here and I agree.

Mike on Bus version from 25 year anniversary edition (this one is even lovelier than the original Album version)

It’s a little obsessive, and totally focused (I need your focus like you need mine), and fits a potential deepening of their relationship. The lyrics of the whole song apply, but to choose a section:

you and me, you and me

and if you make me your religion

I'll give you all the room you need

I'll be the drawing of your breath

I'll be the cup if you should bleed

Hairshirt (Green)

Album version

A hairshirt is a very uncomfortable shirt made of animal hair that would be worn as a self-imposed form of penitence to self-punish or repent something, for religious reasons. To me, Hairshirt is a song about letting go of the things that you have used to punish yourself (or held over yourself or others’ expectations or any number of other things) to be able to embrace a relationship with someone. This fits their story to me in that both are working through grief and past trauma; they likely will need to let some of it go to be able to fully embrace each other.

And hang your hairshirt on the lowest rung

It’s a beautiful life

And I can hang my hairshirt

Away up high in the attic of the wrong dog’s life chest

Or bury it at sea

All my life, I’ve searched for this

Here I am, here I am

In your life, it’s a beautiful life

My life, it’s a beautiful life

Your life

You’re In The Air (Up)

Album version

The lyrics of this one are a little more generic, but it does feel like something of a follow-on thought to Strange Currencies.

Key lyrics:

You wanted a challenge that’s calling you higher

I landed on my feet by crawling

I remember standing alone trying to forget you, idling

I hate to admit that that’s my reference point

But there it is, you say you want me

I’m what you found, I’m upside down

You’re in the air, you're in the air, and I am breathing…

You Are The Everything (Green)

Album version

I have posted about this before - and it’s kind of a nice call back to the line in s1e3 Brigade when Carmy tells Syd, “you, you are everything else.”

I interpret this song a bunch of different ways, not all of them romantic, but I think it does make sense in a romantic context here, especially with the kitchen lyric (especially knowing the way that Storer and Senior have no qualms about cutting songs at the points where the lyrics make the most sense to the story they are trying to tell - see also: In Too Deep by Genesis in s1e3 Brigade as well as Strange Currencies, in the panic attack scene in s2e9.

Key lyrics:

I think about this world a lot and I cry

And I've seen the films and the eyes

But I'm in this kitchen

Everything is beautiful

…

You are here with me

You have been here and you are everything

Perfect Circle (Murmur)

Album version; this live version has me by the freaking throat

Perfect Circle is a gorgeous love-ish song; Michael Stipe has said the song is about longing in a relationship but that it could mean lots of different things. a perfect circle of acquaintances and friends speaks to the found family aspect of The Bear. It’s about the vibes to me for this one; depending on how it could be used it could mean many, many different things, including love.

Key lyrics:

Put your hair back, we get to leave

Eleven gallows on your sleeve

Shallow figured winner's paid

Eleven shadows way out of place

Standing too soon, shoulders high in the room

Me, Marlon Brando, Marlon Brando and I (Collapse Into Now)

Album version

Me, Marlon Brando, Marlon Brando and I is a song about heroes and idolization. I’m not exactly sure that it’s relevant for season 3 but it does feel like it is a song relevant to Sydney and Carmy. Certainly by this point in their personal and professional relationships, any blinders she had about him as someone followed his career, are gone. He’s very much a real person to her and she definitely sees him in his entirety rather than someone to be held up on a pedestal. It’s probably not super likely for season 3, but I feel like there’s a least a little bit of a through line here and wanted to mention it.

Key lyrics:

Sift through the annals of our flavored times

Our heroes and all their fatal flaws

Me, Marlon Brando, Marlon Brando and I, sing

Lay me down, down, down, down

Lay me down, down, down, down, down

Help me off to sleep

Take me deep again

Animal (In Time)

Album Version

This one is admittedly a little out there as a suggestion. But there's something to me about Carmy’s mental state at the end of s2e10 (“I'm a fucking psycho. That's why, that's why I'm good at what I do.”) that really speaks to his inner animal, but then adding into that the way that the table scene in S2E9 sets his and Syd’s relationship (in all of its facets) apart and as something that helps instead of hurts his focus…it feels like this song brings both of those elements together.

Key lyrics:

Hey, what's the big deal?

Tell me how to feel?

I know where we boomeranged and fell from grace

Point me to the stars

I'm up for the chase

I know where we fell on our face

Jump with me, you jump with me

…

I am vibrating at the speed of light

Take my hand, we'll wind up the night

Spin me, win me, lift me, kiss me

Trip me, trust me, cuss me, judge me

Touch me now, you take my hand

You trust me now, you understand

So, what's the big deal-

I'm an animal

(The answer landed on my rooftop. Whoa.)

I'm an animal

(The future and the truth, on my rooftop. Whoa.)

I'm an animal

(It's calling me to work it out.) (Whoa)

I am vibrating at the speed of light

#sydcarmy #r.e.m. in the bear #the bear season 3 speculation #the bear music #carmen x sydney #carmy x sydney

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timeofjuly · 4 months

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Okay I’ve been scrolling down for a little while now? And?

And I’m starting to think the PTSD flashback Quinn had in chpt. 10 (? I think) is something to do with her dad *almost* drowning MC, at least once.

If I had to guess, he found out between Quinn and MC, and absolutely blew up. He was either going to, or already had hurt Quinn in some way, and MC either was called for help, or walked in on it, and somehow ended with them in a very bad way involving water, and Quinn’s dad with a busted nose. Maybe Quinn hit him with something when MC was getting attacked, MC got a hit in (I don’t think MC started it, since it’s on the record that MC doesn’t do random acts of violence), and took the blame for it ALL.

But I’m also so confused!! Because you also described MC in Quinn’s horror flashback as being wet and ice cold, and looking like they did before they were clean - I’m MISSING SOMETHING, AHHHHH. The gas station ice bags, you mentioned it twice, and I’m drawing a blank as to why that’s so important.

Drugs and ice, what’s the connection? Could it be some kind of memory? Where could Quinn have seen ice bags, and why would it be so important that ice was where it was? Camping? I can only think of organ harvesting, but that seems too far fetched 😪😵‍💫

Can I ask when did MC start using? (Was it related to Quinn’s dad/their trauma surrounding that mystery water incident?)

Most (if I’m remembering correctly,) of Quinn’s trauma has been catholic guilt, daddy issue related. Where was Quinn’s mother in this? Was she involved? Was she behind the scenes, encouraging her husbands violence? Or was she the keeper of peace? What’s her place in all this??

I’d say ‘WHO KNOWS’, but YOU knows. >:( I hope you’re amused, cause I feel deranged.

I hope this doesn’t come off as demanding you to answer my questions 😭 it’s really fun to talk (type?) out my thinking process, I hope it’s somehow beneficial to you too 😂

you don’t have to answer/respond to anything if it’s spoiler-y!

I just read your progress tracking update, and oh my god, the energy to lovers with underfell Grillby? Sounds SO GOOD!!

You wrote so much; and are going to write so much, I hope you’re also taking enough time to do nothing, and take breaks! Good job!! AHHHH!!

I am SCREAMING at ‘WHO KNOWS’, but YOU knows’!!! I was literally thinking the other day how funny it is that I’m the only one who knows wtf is going on lol. This is too much power and responsibility for me!!!

Okay okay so I'll answer things sorta vaguely, if you want anything clarified more and aren't afraid of broaching closer to the spoiler territory feel free to dm me and I will straight up tell you anything lol, I am terrible at keeping secrets and I will also pop the below under a cut cause it's kinda long -

Re: the flashback, I'll note that Quinn doesn't make any connection between the wet, frostbitten, fucked-up MC, except that they look like they did when they were still using. Quinn, just like the reader, also doesn't know why MC appeared to her like that. It is disturbing and confusing, but she doesn't relate it to any event or experience with MC. Same with the ice bags - she doesn't have anything to connect it with, so she doesn't. Because we're working through the lens of Quinn in that scene, there's a whollllllle lot of context missing.

As a hint, though: the Quinn's dad incident and whatever the fuck is going on with the frostbite and ice and water are completely separate things.

MC's drug use started when they were thirteen and doesn't relate to Quinn. I do like your line of thinking though! I also like your thinking about organ harvesting lol, that would've been a very different turn to what I'm planning!

Quinn's mother was complicit in a lot of Quinn's childhood. I've kinda gotten into it, but the Lawsons are deeply, deeply religious, super fundamentalist. Many fundamentalist Christian families follow a hierarchical structure of the family, where the husband is the spiritual leader, wives are expected to submit to their husband's authority and support his decisions, and then the kids submit to them both (dad first, though).

And oh my gosh not demanding at all!!! I love answering your questions and you always do help my process! I am so! excited! for the Undefell Grillby fic too, I think it'll be good for me to write something a little lighter and simpler too lol.

I really appreciate your kind words <3 <3 <3 Not to get mushy but I wrote more in 2023 (and only started in July!) than I have in my whole life. RTC came after a three year break from writing and was in a brand-new fandom with a kinda weird concept and I was so so so scared to post that first chapter. I'm so glad that I did, though! I feel like I've really found a little community here.

#rtc asks #july talks rtc #thank you so much :)#i always get excited when I see you've commented or sent me an ask!

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0h-c0mely · 11 months

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assigning ravening war pcs mitski songs bc i’m hyperfixating and losing my mind (warning i am a colindeli bitch) under the cut:

karna: i mean Obviously abbey but also geyser is very “deli is the first thing karna has desired outside her own survival” core. there’s also something about the discordant minor chord vibe of the song and how karna is so earnestly, and with every good intention, pushing forward deli’s destruction in his own pursuit for power.

deli: remember my name. easy! easy. painful, but easy. i think deli is acutely aware that he is fallible, and of his faults, but he’s given up too much not to be Something. there is also a contrast of power replacing love or being confused for love which is very present with him, with gemelli, his estrangement from his mother, etc.

amangeaux: (i think that’s how you spell it): wife is very much the honorable pick here but the winner is stay soft. first off, because i wanted her to have a more pop song bc she is very slay BUT, it would have been very easy to keep her on a path of being forced into further using her femininity to survive but anjali went in the other direction, which is kind of amazing. she gets freed through her own desperation, in a sense.

the fucking radish: i hate that my pick here is crack baby. but it is. but “you know that you had it once and you know that you want it back” is fascinatingly “becomes more devout through losing his mind and station” to me. everyone is our tie bc what is religious trauma without shame and hatred for your fellow elderly clergy and the whole “babe in a crib” section is heart of the world to a T

and the one i deliberately saved for last:

sir colin provolone: okay, before i start, something has to be saidd for should’ve been me. the fact that colin and karna both came from what i can tell extremely similar backgrounds class wise but have turned out so differently morals wise and are playing functionally the same role for deli. INSANE. INSANE I TELL YOU.

bUT. but. our pick Is. her whole discography? her whole discography. but picking one, i’m going with jobless monday. colin is very bury me at make out creek coded in general, but i have a teensy little suspicion that deli is going to kill colin and “take me out” refrain really ties a bow on that. i don’t think colin believes that, as a whole, he’s getting out of this alive. i think he lives on a day to day basis, or else he would not have aligned himself with raphaniel (who is being ousted). colin is kind, and it’s going to kill him.

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 the ravening war #the ravening war #karna solara #thane delissandro katzon #lady amangeaux epicée du peche #archdeacon raphaniel charlock #sir colin provolone #colindeli

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chibivesicle · 1 year

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Trigun Maximum - I have feelings.

Ooooh boy. I ended up at the shop for a bit this morning to have my HVAC controller in my car fixed and I had some down time. I spent it reading the Trigun manga while the local CBS station had the morning news on the TV. The pacing for this manga is fast fast fast fast and faster. I will definitely need to go back and reread all of it after my first pass because it is both sparse and dense at the same time. The amount of information that you have to glean from it - not sure if it is a stylistic choice or forces you to think about it just yet.

Yet, you know it is never a good sign when a character ends up bleeding profusely in the author’s notes. Warning, mild spoilers ahead for up to volume 9.

Several plot points have just sort of made me go, ‘huh . . .’ and try to shake out why it would make sense in the context of things.

1.) Knives is the leader of his own personal crusade and he doesn’t need to convince anyone of it. More that he simply tells himself that ‘sacrifices are necessary for the cause’, when the cause is himself? All other life is meaningless save for his own? I hope the next few volumes clear this up a bit more since I’m currently struggling to really understand his motivations. Especially, his idea to steal as many plants as possible, ‘eat’ his ‘sisters’ and to do what? Even if the other ships get close enough to the planet and he absorbs them, then what? I dunno man, what is your endgame?

2.) The Eye of Michael are an assassin group that recruits orphans due to the fact they lack attachment to others. And their goal is to achieve what exactly? They’ve been around for 133 years and they are far to obvious to act as a sort of covert group. I mean sure, if you kill everyone in your path there won’t be eyewitnesses but the giant cross - not subtle. They are working with Knives but it isn’t the same - only part of them were sort of committed to the gung ho guns. I really need to go back and glean from the text.

3.) Wolfwood is around 20 - max?!?! I’m also baffled how he got recruited based on what we’ve seen up through volume 9. I found his words to be out of alignment with his age as a child at the orphanage. Only going by the anime, I put him to be older, like 30s. When he has his showdown with Chapel, we know that he was trained by him for ten years but the specifics are vague and it is clear he fucked off on his own when he realized he didn’t want to be told what to do. In the anime, his realistic words of wisdom make sense for them to come from an adult with life experiences. Yes, trauma and a harsh childhood can make you grow up faster but he always had that weird vibe that he was trained in some sort of religious philosophy that he could have more input into things.

Yet, in the manga he still has mature dialogue that I don’t quite get. I hope volume 10 helps to explain things further in regards to this weird disconnect. Wolfwood is there to oppose Vash in a constructive way, not in the straight out opposition that Knives is to Vash. Yet, by having Wolfwood start out as someone who is good with others, willing help out and care about people. It makes it obvious in retrospect he’d never be able to have given his all to the role that he was supposed to fill. I mean the fact that he shot and crippled his mentor but didn’t kill him already speaks volumes. Does he try to save everyone and not kill like Vash? No. Yet his destructive power is more tempered than many others. He also has that built in protective nature which pops up all the time. Though, he has spent a lot of time rationalizing that it is why he can kill people.

4.) Plants are technology that works on using the life force of angelic beings trapped in a bubble that are something - I need more info. Pleeeeeeaaaase? Pretty please? And are definitely modeled on more ‘realistic’ versions of angels e.g. not looks like a person with a pair of wings. And more in the this angel has a fuckton of eyes all over it and weird creepy manifestations, extra wings, heads, faces etc etc etc.

Does this mean that Knives is into a weird from of cannibalism? He tried to absorb Vash as well but obviously since they are diametrically opposed to each other’s viewpoints we know that isn’t going to happen. Isn’t he supposed to respect the other plants that he’s essentially using as an extension of himself? How is this fair to them. Hello plant ladies (?) allow me to rescue from your human oppressors - to serve me as a giant melded mess. . . .

These aren’t my most organized thoughts - just the general feelings and questions that really pop to the surface. I’ll try to reorganize my thoughts for the future. I’m thinking of:

1.) Wolfwood analysis - I know lots of people have their own interpretation of him, but I’d like a crack at it too.

2.) Tone of the anime vs the manga. Right now, I’m leaning towards preferring the anime; by no means is the manga bad, just they have different ways to get to the same sort of end.

3.) Review each episode (or two) of Trigun Stampede. I’ve seen other commentary online which is being a little more gentle to it. Not that I want to skewer it, but more point out where it works and doesn’t work in the context of the manga and previous anime. I purposely, went ahead and rewatched the original just to prepare for watching Stampede. I’m also getting the vibe that some people are like me and have done this while many other people’s commentary are coming from “I watched it on Adult Swim.” or “I’ve never seen it but it was apparently popular.” Making me feel even older with the Adult Swim comment since I saw it before then on fan sub VHS.

4.) Why Trigun Maximum is a type of seinen that works for a female audience. I think this also applies to Golden Kamuy. The series do have some overlap and I’m beginning to wonder if there are other elements of these two fairly violent series that allow for them to have a more equal gendered fandom.

That’s all for now. I need to put all my thoughts together and start cracking.

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun manga #trigun anime #trigun stampede

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hinamie · 10 months

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oh my god ok so i know im late I didn't talk about it because it happened during one of my Offline Eras but . but listen ok lisn the new former vandal album sent me THROUgh the FUCKINNG ROOF to be fair i knew it would like i joked about going upstairs to listen to it and cry when it dropped but i didn't think that every fucking song would hit me so hard in the kokoro it made me wail because I too have immense religious guilt ANYWAY im gonna rant incoherently and at length now hope u all missed me

ok first of all gotta shout out the fuckin album title i knew it was gonna be devastating when I saw it . fuckin. divine interference????? music for god's playthings indeed i eat that shit up i was like yoooooo hes also got a bone to pick with jesus go off bestie <333

so former vandal are artists visionaries kings so ofc tracklist is all mythology n religion-inspired (lazarus/goliath/ouroboros etc) and i think its so cool that theyre all in caps until u get to the end and the final song is denial and it's in lowercase and maybe its simple but i was like ART. ARTTTTTT. and it made me go back and look at the tracklist of their previous album and I realized that the whole thing was about vices and unhealthy coping with an overwhelming and forsaken existence but then the final song was Get Right (still my go-to comfort song to this day tbh tbh tbh) and it's like an acknowledgement that ok maybe none of this is the answer and something has to change anyway wrong album oops back 2 divine interference

i made a point of listening to the songs that hadnt been released as singles first so the first song i listened to was Lazarus and tbh probably my fav song on the album maybe tied with parables and maaaaybe even icarian. BUT LAZARUS SLAPS SOS SOSOOSO HARD god the theme of not knowing how to leave something behind even when it's bad for you,,, both criticizing but also mirroring the actual story of lazarus in the lyrics being like "wow kinda fucked up of god for resurrecting u without ur consent" but also acknowledging that he himself is guilty of holding onto the things that kill him.,,, GOD ITS SO FUCKING G GOOD I FDFGSADFGDG

salt also !!! BANGER not quite up there with the likes of lazarus but it gets bonus points because a. i lov the idea of starting to recognize that you're coming into yourself n an identity apart from your vices n traumas and b. for having two of the most RAW lines in the entire album imo which is reaaallly saying something: "now that everything's bright I guess I'm fine/but there's an art in the dark that took years to refine" and "the spark of divine intervention/that I'm still terrified I've left behind" (ALBUM TITLE DROP ALBUM TITLE DROP) god these two just dont miss and i love it but i am far too neurodivergent to contain myself they need to give me a break pls i am v i b r a t i n g

ok gonna move into the Chill(tm) tracks I think with goliath as well as shame/rotten I vibe more with the lyrics than the actual songs because i prefer my angsty alt pop to be Upbeat thank u very much but can i just say. the lyrics of these two songs ESPECIALLY SHAME/ROTTEN LIKE ok first of all i love the tonal shift halfway through that manages not to make them feel like completely different songs it's just jarring enough like there's been an acceptance of sorts,, like omg same i too am like 'god i feel like the scum of the earth might as well own it a bit',, "the fear of god/the need for blame" fuckin bullseye ow,, "I starve to feed the parts of me/far from who i oughta be/tell me are you proud of me yet?" FUCKIN BULLSEYE OWW

I know i just said i prefer my angst upbeat but crocodile tears (very upbeat very rock wuaw) is probably my least favourite track if i had to pick but it does have a lyrical BANGER of an opening verse ("holding the hand that's holding me under" g o d) i think i just don't dig the overall melody too much and find the ending a bit repetitive fr my tastes,, who knows though it took a while and many re-listens for ouroboros to grow on me maybe this'll b a similar story ,, but then again ouroboros had the advantage of echoing mine own mental health and self-destructive behaviours shdgj

ok so i was crying from the beginning right but the songs that made me ugly bawl were growing pains (very similar vibes to get right but in a "i know that i'm healing" way rather than a "i need to heal" way) and denial,, but starting w growing pains,, my god idk What they did with the mic/vocals after the bridge but it felt like the music was being injected directly into my ears secret direct path 2 my bloodstream god I hadnt felt chills like that in such a long time and idk just the whole Mood of the song having been hurting for so long and only now starting to recognize the damage you've done but also appreciate the progress youv made,,, i have so so many emotions but DENIAL (its funny saying it in caps bc its the only track in lowercase getit getit) oh my god ths going straight on the list of Songs That Make Me Think About My Relationship With My Dad but also Songs That Make Me Emo About All The People I've Grown Apart From and i think its so powerful to frame a personal transition away from faith as growing apart from an old friend and missing them despite any hard feelings holy shit though holy shit . the first listen by this point i had already been emotionally devastated by the Whole Album so i was like ok surely ill get a break by the last song lol nope sorry i ended up crying so hard i think i gave myself a headache

I think I must have yelled about the songs that they released as singles when they dropped individually but it's been so long that i forget what i said but honestly parables and icarian are still just as good as when i heard them for the first time (when parables dropped i spilled my tea on my fucking notes bc i was vibing too hard),, I love parables' msg of accepting the lessons ur (traumatic) past taught u and how it shaped u as a person even if u recognize that that person is someone hurt and in need of healing and maybe that has to happen alone! and i know for a fact i've gushed about icarian (still one of the most gojocore songs Ever imho dont fight me on this) but now looking at it in the context of the rest of the album i love that it's first cause it really frames the whole icarus thing of having flown too close to the sun or to god and getting burned and that pain essentially being the catalyst for the entire Journey tht the rest of the album outlines (obsessed w the fact that the next song is jaded like fr having these two songs one after the other is literally "fucked around/found out" gsfhjsh)

but all that being said not to b dramatic but this album destroyed me it rearranged something deep in my soul and i don't know who i was before it but i probably wont ever be the same :) i literally love these two so much im so appreciative of them its so rare to feel so Seen by a piece of media so to have an entire album hit so incredibly close to home for me and slap while doing so????? i feel so lucky . this entire album feels like taking the first step to address years of hurt and self destruction it feels like losing a friend it feels like finding yourself and i just . i love it so much

#my long-awaited gushing about niche alt music that no one asked for but i have !!! so much to say!!!#clearly #hina.txt

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exoticalmonde · 7 months

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Sweet Pool....... But all my friends were watching the entire time

I am a great fan of Visual Novels and that's no secret to anybody who has chatted with me for more than an hour. But I haven't played it all. Very recently I made use of a summer deal to get all of Nitro Chiral's games (At least those available at JastUSA) and I have been itching.

Naturally, it starts with scuff. Because my laptop is new it needed a DirectX update downloaded from the official website for MSFT and I spent... a pretty long time trying to deal with it on my own until I submit to misery and just

Me: "Pinkie, you were good with computers right?" Pinkie: "No, but continue." Me: "I refuse" Pinkie: "Okay. So what seems to be the problem?" Me, after trying to not say anything for 10 seconds: "My visual novel is giving me problems." Pinkie: Ends up fixing it within 5 mins after I struggled for 20 Pinkie: "So remember how you asked if I was good with computers and I told you 'No'?"

------------

That aside, IT PLAYS

And for some ungodly reason Pinkie volunteered to watch. Then Kryo started watching when Lundi joined in too. The whole crew is here to watch Eve's new fantasy horror gore love visual novel yaoi:

Sweet Pool

The moment I enter there are two things thrown at me. Religion. And a Choice.

Heart or Thought? Instinct or Logic?

Panko helped me and chose... I don't remember which one.

Which sparks the desire to talk about how unique the choice system is in this one. For a 2008 game it's really good. The music is very grating from time to time, the volume it started with almost blew out my ears.

I can tell that it's going to be very interesting because I found an old comment that I had made on a personal discord chat and it reads: "Cease, are you really going to start me off by asking which one to choose? How dare you offer a heartbeat in one corner and empty wind at the beach in the other? Which is reason, which is instinct? Stop playing with me, I came to watch two guys kiss."

"Hey baby, are you religious? Because I would fall on my knees for you like a nun for Jesus."

So I remember 20% of the beginning, because I did play it once somewhere. Somehow. I knew it up to the part where Zenya is having his way with the coconut water or whatever he was drinking. Everybody's first impression of him was... they want to avoid him.

Since we split up so everybody gets to make a choice when the option of a choice pops up, it was Kryo's turn to decide if we want to avoid him when he stopped us or not and he tried to ignore him. It didn't work, as we all know.

Like, look at him, he is a menace he is being everything and too much of it at the same time.

Meanwhile I assigned Tetsuo to Lundi because he looks like Executor and Mlynar and whatnot and that is her type of men it's stamped and mailed already and he is overall, I feel, the safe choice. Tired and emotionless too, he just manages to cover his eyebags by frowning hard enough the shadow of his eyebrows reaches them.

And he looks so cute and small???? He has the cutest ears ever.

...

Yeah it sure is escalating. Everybody took a turn and we're back to Kryo while my little sick woodland creature is having a panick attack inside the bathrub. He decides that he should go with instinct, using logic as a basis since... Yeah, what else are you supposed to do when you're supposedly bleeding out, right?

Wrong.

He.

That scene.

Good voice acting, but I had to start off with "Okay kids, look away now." so I can watch/read it in peace. I'm used to moaning and pathetic whimpering, however none of my friends have been struck witht he full blow of a yaoi scene.

The next day we talk about god at school, so naturally we all decide to share in on the trauma of religion.

---

Lundi: "I think the guy had forsaken god by jerking off in the bloody bathwater."

Kryo: "God said self-preservation and he chose self-masturbation."

---

I was so sure it was over... I didn't expect, call for or desire this scene and we were ALL surprised now. The last one was weird, but this one is just no-choice, no-doubt, just full-blown desire and lust. In the chemist's office. Touching chemicals and then himself, you know?

Here Kryo has provided the necessary censorship so I don't get annihilated for making the post.

Me: "That explaisn this entire game. He's just tired."

---

Our last moment before I have to hop off and Kryo needs to cook etc was during the scene in Zenya's room:

Me: "It feels like it wants us to think in that direction but I don't think there's anything between them."

Lundi: "It could be anything."

Me: "I'm sure they're going to make this go completely haywire from nowhere. I don't know what to expect."

The scene happens.

Kryo: "I need to go cook now and process what the f--ck I just witnessed."

They like it so far c:

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sunflower-butch · 1 year

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1, 3, 12, 13, 15, 19, 23, 24, 25, 27! Or I’d say any 5 from this list that you want lol because this is a lot

Oh boy [cracks knuckles]

1: favorite fic you wrote this year

Definitely the Christmas fic! I just enjoy the fluff so much and I worked really hard on it.

3: favorite line/scene you wrote this year

I answered this one with the ao3 wrapped asks forever ago but I’ll say it again! I like the imagery in this scene and this is where I think my descriptive writing and sense of metaphors really fell into place, from bad idea!

The girl in front of Robin moved back and forth, alcohol strong on her breath. She laughed as Robin spun her and pulled her close, her breath hot on the stranger’s ear. She made pointed eye contact across the bar, watching as Nancy was illuminated in soft pink. It matched the shade of her lips—the blush Robin wanted to put on her cheeks.

Blue light shone down on Robin and the stranger, gleaming in the former’s stormy eyes as they met with Nancy’s ocean.

Waves crashed and lightning struck, filling the room with unbearable electricity. The lights met and flared in an intense clash of violet sky, and Robin knew she was doomed to be lost at sea. Her heart was racing with exertion and excitement, drawn against her will to the other girl—the girl who wanted to kill her. The girl who was probably planning her demise at this very moment. The thought was exhilarating.

12: favorite character to write about this year

Nancy Wheeler my beloved <33 She’s just such a complex, malleable character. I love writing her personality and trying to figure out how she would respond in certain scenarios—and since the Duffers won’t let her explore her trauma, I will!! Also as an eldest daughter burnt out gifted kid… She’s very projection shaped

13: favorite writing song/album/artist of this year

Stick Season by Noah Kahan for sure! I still would really, really like to write a string of one shots for each song, but especially Growing Sideways, Northern Attitude, and The View Between Villages. I love his music and his voice and I think it’s very easy to ronancify this album lol

15: something you learned this year

Oh this one is fun. Imma be cheesy about it. I learned to stop letting what other people think of me get in the way of having fun. I was so against ever writing fic because “I don’t want to be cringe and get made fun of.” Fuck that. I am cringe and it’s FUN. I will own it with pride. I like my silly little self indulgent fics.

19: any new fics to start next year

Oh god so many. I’m not kidding when I say I’m past 30 on the WIP/idea list. I’ll toss some favorites tho:

say you’re gonna come back: one shot based on Sports Car by Valley, Ronance reunite and fall in love all over again years down the road

there in the garden, she looked my way: beauty and the beast au multi chapter featuring vampire Nancy and just so much pining

she will pull the trigger: monster hunter Nance and werewolf Rob and they’re both GNC ft toxic lesbianism because wanting to kill each other is sexy

23: fics you wanted to write but didn’t

I’m still thinking so hard about run, devil, run, which was a Wild West au featuring werewolf Nance and vampire Rob but I don’t think that one will stick. I go through a circle of phases of really stubborn hyperfixations and the wild west pops up as one of them but never stays for long. Was feeling it for a week, wrote one scene, then sort of dropped it to lowest priority

24: favorite fic you read this year

Oh god there are so many. I refuse to pick just one, but I’ll stick with 3 I think.

One of them (surprise) is you! a never ending story changed my brain chemistry. dungeon master rules lawyer repressed furious mega nerd comphet religious guilt traumatized Nancy my beloved!!!! Not saying I’d get a tattoo based off a fic but I am saying a d20 on 13 would be so cool… (also special shout out to DITM, I love that one dearly too, especially Martha) I also ADORE when you can tell a writer is into poetry and it shows in their word. Flowery prose and heart shattering metaphors my beloved

I have sung praises about this fic and I’ll fucking do it again. Bloodletting my beloved. I am once again in awe of the way @lavenderlevetan weaves the story and connects all the pieces. I love the dynamic and the way the tension builds. I am feral about vampires and biting, sue me.

And I have to say put me in the movies (on a king sized silver screen) by @sapphicriley is also one of my all time favorites. I love the back and forth banter and it’s sweet and fluffy and it’s just a feel good fic and I like to reread it when I’m feeling down. Another example of poetic writing as well <33

25: a fic you read this year that you would recommend everyone read

Well all of the one from above ofc. Also dancing in the moonlight. Also,,, Raise Dead by @eskawrites killed me and healed me. If you can handle the angst, this one is an incredible read and I cannot recommend it enough. I don’t really cry when reading, but this one actually had me in tears in the best way.

27: favorite fanfic author of the year

This is like asking me to pick a favorite child. God. I’m terms of writing, I have to say it’s between a few, but there’s this one rando who wrote this D&D fic and also one about monster fucking. You might have heard of her? I think her name is summersociety or something.

I also adore @lavenderlevetan (I will continue to scream about Bloodletting forever!!!) and you guys are in for a treat with some of the WIP sneak peeks I’ve gotten from @suwunnysideup

And I have to say every single one of my mutuals are just such incredible, talented writers, and such amazing friends. I love you all. 🥺

#ask game #fic rec #ronance fic rec #ronance #lo answers stuff #candle lion #I think I got them all

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ri-writing · 9 months

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So, Ri....Good Omens? (Or - why it might be awhile before I watch S2)

I’m just going to head this off before I get questions.

I know a fair number of folks follow me because I write GO fanfiction. If you’ve read my GO fanfiction, you are probably aware that I have some pretty serious religious trauma. (I mean...it’s not a secret that’s a major theme of....90% of it). It shall come as no surprise when I say that I was raised in Evangelical World and it really fucked me up. I’ve been working with therapists to address it for a number of years.

Because I am no longer a member of Evangelical World, I’m persona non grata to many of the people I knew when I was young. I don’t have friends remaining from childhood, and most of my extended family will not speak or interact with me unless it is to pop up to tell me how I’m going to hell.

I’ve been made aware of some of the things that happen in a particular episode of Good Omens Season 2. I’ve had a really rough go of things over the last year with my mental health but it’s finally getting better. Yesterday, my doctor told me I had moved to being stable and that we can now go 8 weeks between check-ins - a huge accomplishment. But because of that, I’m going to need to be in a good mental space before I have to confront some things that I know are going to bring up some painful issues for me. I’m, frankly, not at that place right now.

Everyone please enjoy the new season. Share your meta, your memes, and your fic. I’ll join you when I’m able. It just might be awhile.

#ri talks good omens

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marichild · 2 years

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solangelo

I feel like anybody who's seen my solangelo fic (the long-form one) I posted on wattpad and ao3 will be able to tell where I'm going with this, but:

yes, there are issues with solangelo in canon. my least favorite part is when Will goes on a whole rant about how it's Nico's fault he's so isolated and it's his fault that he keeps pushing everyone away when Nico was, IS, a young kid, suffering from mental issues, thrown off and blinded by grief, not to mention the religious trauma thing. Rick honestly COULD have written that scene better.

BUT I also believe that fanfic writers can sort of try to rectify this, if only because we're uncomfortable with weird relationship aspects, like I'm trying to do. one of my issues WAS that solangelo just popped up five-ish months after they even became friends with NO context in between (which explains all the fanfics, plus mine, I guess), though now I'm hoping with the Tartarus book we'll get more context.

there's more to be said but this isn't meant to be that long of a rant. point is: solangelo honestly isn't as hollow as it seems, and we CAN make it seem less hollow, and Rick, please think about some things you write and publish. love the inclusivity, but still.

#percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #will solace #nico di angelo #solangelo #nico di angelo x will solace #fanfic

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floppyhatwitch · 4 months

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This is Part 2 of my 2023 new year's resolution recap. If you want to see part 1, click here.

And we're back! If you've read the first part, you're all caught up with the gist of everything, so I'll spare the extensive intro.

Long post coming up again, art under the cut :)

This is one of my favourites

I saw some tips on how to make a sketchbook more fun that included working with the fact the drawings are within a book and so I decided to make a portal between two characters.

How whimsical!

I reused the cutout bits to decorate the glossy front cover of the sketchbook too, which resulted in me having to glue it back on more times than I'd like to admit.

The return of my son <3

I think the key features to really nail down when drawing bonnie are the upper jaw and the eye socket. Obviously not the be all and end all, but they really add to his signature style. I mention this only because my bootleg bonnie plush is widely different for both those features, which I find funnier than it has any right to be.

This one was a joke about drink driving and getting pulled over, but it was probably the best anatomy lesson I had all year. I somehow managed to portray the likeness of my friend half decently while working with dramatic lighting. I mean, it's no like, groundbreaking work or anything, but it's one that I take great pride in.

I LOVE HATSUNE MIKU AND JERMA!!!!! RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

If I could do this one again (which I inevitably will because look at them) I would definitely make Jerma more like the creature he is and exaggerate his distinct features a little more.

Anyway the reason I put this up is because I accidentally titled it "Jerma and Hatsune Mike" because of autocorrect, which led to the creation of

HATSUNE MIKE!!!!

Miku's older and less famous sister. Although from what I've been told, her slices are the best in Queens, hands down.

Quick Australian politics tangent. We recently had a referendum that proposed adding an advisory group for First Nations peoples into the constitution. It was like the tiniest step forward towards actually repairing the generational trauma and long-term effects of colonialist genocide by simply asking Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people how they could be best assisted.

Despite being one of the easiest choices I've ever seen in my life, the referendum DIDN'T PASS. I was genuinely pissed when I found out so I tore up the bullshit misinformation flyers handed out by the opposition volunteers and made it into this. It's probably the most "teenager with too much angst and no actual action" thing ever, but it was how I felt at the time.

After that whole debacle I went through a phase where I used a lot of imagery of revolutions to try and process the feelings I was experiencing on the matter.

I thought the foreshortening and perspective on this one kinda popped off. The decision to place the viewer at the level of the executed was intentional. It's one of the only angles anyone would have seen a guillotine this close up in practice.

On Day 300 I saw the FNAF movie and wow was it different than what I expected. I drew my son looking on in horror as his character was assassinated in front of his eyes. Looking back, it might have been a little dramatic, but I'm just like that at the end of the day.

BONUS: If you wanna see my full review of the FNAF movie, you can read it here

I really wanted to get some expressive posing and particle effects going so I took inspiration from that "THINK FAST CHUCKLENUTS" meme and tried to imagine what it would look like if it was an overedited comic strip.

I lobe scou tf2 :))))

This was the day before my Media exam and holy hell was I nervous. If I'm remembering correctly, I was actually so anxiety-ridden that I was nauseous, which doesn't happen often. I channeled my borderline religious regard of the exams power into creating a monument to its supreme importance. That's me praying underneath it.

As you can tell, I was hoping so hard that I would do well on it, which makes the next one just even more satisfying.

I DID WELL ON IT!!!!!

I legitimately felt like omni man afterwards, so I did a study of that scene where he crushes red rush's head. It's a bit rough around the edges but that final panel still gets me. I should watch the new season.

Spidergwen Spidergwen Spidergwen Spidergwen Spidergwen

I'll know I'm a good artist the day that I make a couple pages as good as Miles does in atsv. Like that dude is talented as hell WHY CAN'T I DO THAT.

Speaking of the dude. Spider-Man, Spider-Man and his pal Spider-Man. Technically spectacular spider-man, but I kinda messed up the head shape a bit so it's not as obvious. Whoopsieeeee

I will always consider myself superior to fish because if I saw a mysterious hook in my environment I would simply disregard it. I will however, walk blindly into a situation that will inevitably lead to my downfall under the pretense that it will be beneficial for my future. No I don't see the irony in that, it's different I swear.

FUN ANGEL FACT! While it is technically correct to refer to these as "biblically accurate angels", they aren't the only forms of them. These are specifically referred to as Ophanim, and they're like wheels? I don't know, my knowledge kind of falls off after that point, the way they're described reminds me of those eldritch horrors that make people insane from their incomprehensibility.

Anyway I adore theological imagery but steer far away from the actual implications of any of it. To quote one of my favourite tumblr posts of all time, "narratively christianity is pretty cool i think it should have been a jrpg instead of a religion though" - Roisheep

This one came straight out of the brain tubes after I accidentally created an endless loop in my twine project and I got scared shitless that it was gonna brick my computer or something. In reality, it was the equivalent damage of refreshing a page a whole bunch of times, but I'm always jumpy when it comes to techy stuff.

One little detail I really like about this one is that the green light from the screen is actually reflected on the face and eyeballs! How fun!

This is how I'm gonna die, if it has to happen. To dissipate into a swarm of butterflies and have your cloak float down to the ground is to have lived a fulfilling life. They gotta have some pink ones though, I like those ones.

I saw a tiktokker who shades with a whole bunch of dots like some crazy kind of pointillism (if you know who I'm talking about PLEASE tell me, I can't find them) so I wanted to give it a crack.

It's nowhere near the same thing that they do, but I think it really sells the macabre and grotty nature of the cow skull and doesn't look half bad in the process. One day I'll do the cool stuff though.

WIZARD! TESTICULAR! TORSION!!!!!!!!!!

Still gotta learn how to render cloth folds.

This was me dramatically kicking the door down when I realised I had a new idea for a video game to make. This is definitely a more accurate depiction of how inspiration feels for me than anything else.

Madvillainy!

I knew from the moment I started studying metallic objects under light that I had to take a crack at the illest villain. Even just from recreating the album cover, I feel so much more knowledgeable in shading metal. You gotta get those hard transitions between highlights and shadows to sell the shine.

Almost there! This was a tribute to all the PHENOMENAL art I find on here. Like HOLY HELL everybody is so talented. Sometimes it can be demotivating, but then I remember that I could be phenomenal if I keep up with the practice. And that is the BEST feeling.

Seriously though, if you're an artist on tumblr and you're reading this, without exception you are unbelievably amazing at what you do. I haven't seen a single piece that didn't absolutely rock.

And that brings us to the last one!

I did a little caricature of all the different forms of art and expression I did throughout the year.

Clockwise from the green we have witch, punk, cyber, trans, goth, everyday, Rodney (character in my short film) and media versions of who I am. Isn't that cute?

Decided to go back and do a rundown of all my pieces and make a little recap within a recap.

But that's the lot! 2023 was a super fun year and I attribute a majority of that to this project. If you're reading this and you have something you want to do, this is your sign to just do it! Forget about new years resolutions, start today. Right now. Doesn't matter what it is, if you start now and do it every day, you'll get it done. 5 minutes, an hour, 30 seconds, whatever. This is the best choice I've ever made and that's why I'm doing it again!

A lot of the stuff I make is private or classified, but I'm gonna post all the publicly presentable stuff here, cause why not!

Anyway, that's all. Take care, stay hydrated, eat your greens, love you xx

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morning-starlight · 1 year

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This week in a post:

Frustrating. Annoying. Absolutely revolting. Overwhelming. Eye-opening.

Days, or weeks, like this make me wish I could go back to the time when I was taking refuge in K-Pop and get lost in it. Those days when I was so oblivious to the world and just focused on both high school as well as K-Pop.

Of course, I say that thinking of the comforting times, but if I look at it realistically, my biggest traumas happened around those years and I used K-Pop as my solace; it was a place where everyone had gotten along in the name of music and supporting their faves. How it has been lately is no longer the same.

Lately had also been letting me think about how things would have been if I had stayed as that “meek,” “god-fearing,” “religious,” “gullible,” and “subservient” little girl that people oh-so-loved to manipulate. Would things be better for me? Would I be in this position right now, contemplating my whole life? Probably. Probably not. No one knows--maybe if there’s a parallel universe somewhere, she would know.

It’s been such a struggle to swallow the fact that when you start speaking and standing up for yourself & what you want, a lot of people will give you shit for it, and it sucks, because that’s reality. It’s so damn rare to find a workplace that respects you when you voice out your opinion and actually take that thought into account. Hell, it’s even rare to have a circle of friends that can do the same! A lot of them would take it to heart and break it off from there. If I hurt you, tell me. If you think what I said is wrong, let’s talk about it. You need space? You got it. Talk to me.

I’m sick and tired of all these passive-aggressive, high-school-ish actions that these grown ass adults pull. I want to protect myself and my energy, but goddamn bitches be fucking vampires. Excuse my Dean, but freaking hell, man. Can’t a person just work in peace?

#personal #rant #work related

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arcaneblaine · 2 years

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ophite » j.t.k, j.m.k (18+)

p: demon!Jake Kiszka x fm!reader, angel!Josh Kiszka x fm!reader ♱ 6.66k

r: demon!Jake and angel!Josh but good is evil (thank you @theweightofjake I will kiss you on the mouth I love this stuff)

The Ophites declared the serpent of paradise to be wisdom itself (σοφία), since wisdom had come to the earth through the knowledge of good and evil which the serpent had brought. Hence they exalted Cain and Seth, who they held were endowed with this knowledge, as the heroes of the human race… (Kohler et al., 1906).

cw: sexual content, language, religi0n/demonology, bondage, domination/submission, degradation, toxicity, angst, mentions of torture, biting, possessiveness, choking, oral (m. receiving), spanking, slight degradation, religious trauma?

a/n: let’s see if y’all can guess the “good guys” Josh and Jake are based off of ;) – wrath&gene

further reading/sources ♱ playlist ♱ masterlist ♱ moodboard

[The serpent] said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.”

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil…”

You awoke in a cold sweat, hair matted against your forehead from the sticky sheen of dew left from your terror. Knuckles popping, limbs loosening, your body physically unraveled itself from your knotted position in your bed sheets as your eyes adjusted to your dark room. The only light illuminating the small space was the blinding, red numbers glaring at you from your roommate’s bedside table. A breath rolled from your chest as you grounded yourself into reality.

As much as time seemed to always be against you, the bright digital clock set your mind at ease. Your dream had only lasted a few hours, allowing you the opportunity to be pulled back into the thralls of sleep. Yet the darkness behind your eyelids provided the perfect canvas for the man who had echoed in the background of your dream.

Pulling the covers closer to your chest, you raked your mind trying to place the features of him. He looked like Jake, but somehow exuded a purity you couldn’t read. The grace of his simple presence amongst your dream plot was enough to pique your attention.

The next morning, you obliged your wandering suspicions, calling on the help of the library stacks to quench your itching thirst. You poured over books, somehow drawn to the illustrations of biblical beings dancing across the countless yellowing pages before you.

“What are you looking at?” Jake’s voice hummed above you, leaning over your shoulders with his hands splayed out against the table on either side of the book you were skimming. The heat rising from his skin felt calming beside your aching knuckles; your bones still recovering from the grip on your pillow.

You couldn’t see him, but you could picture the deep, chestnut hue of his irises as he glanced at your research, attempting to decipher your scrawling notes with the tenderness only a musician could possess. From his position over you, the ends of his hair brushed softly against the flesh peeking from beneath your hoodie. The soothing effect he had over you was always lost on your mind until you experienced it again. Jake’s closeness had nearly erased your mind of its quest.

Your tongue felt sandpapery as you weighed his possible reactions. “I keep dreaming about this guy,” you began, shifting from beneath him as he took to the seat beside you, keeping only a few inches between the two of you. At the early hour, it would be impossible to disturb anyone in the library, but he seemed to sense how starved you were to be near another warm body. “My dreams are never about him, but I can always tell he’s there,” you finished, gnawing on your lip as Jake’s gaze searched your features.

There was a glint of esoteric knowledge that always seemed to appear behind his eyes when you discussed topics in the same vein. It was almost as if he knew more than he ever let on. He seemed to choose his words wisely before speaking. “And you think he’s from the Bible?” Jake inquired slowly, running his long fingers beneath the cover of your book to check if he was correct.

A shallow breath escaped from between your teeth as you realized you would have to explain to him how you had ended up in this state. “I read online that guardian angels sometimes appear to you in dreams when they have something to tell you,” you explained, settling back into your chair. It was then that you realized his arm had caged you in protectively, draped along the top rail of your seat. “I think he might be mine.” As the words left your mouth, you couldn’t help but shake your head to avert the goofy grin spreading to your lips. “It’s ridiculous- “

He cut you off, seemingly realizing he had been quiet for too long during your confession. “No,” he paused to wet his lips, yet again dancing around what he knew about the subject. “It’s not ridiculous…” Jake let his hand drift closer to you, running the coarse pad of his thumb against a knot near the crook of your neck. You nearly moaned at the tension releasing from your body. “Guardian angels freak me out, honestly.”

You let out a soft snort, perking one of your brows in his direction. “And why, pray tell?” You jested easily, pulling yourself from the fog that had been hovering over you.

Jake’s lips curved into a whisper of a smile as his eyes met yours. He always looked at you as if you hung the stars in his night sky. He combed his fingers through his hair before he answered, letting a sigh settle into the air. “Why would I want some creep following me around all the time?”

You didn’t waste a second to chide against him. “Jake, you’re a creep that follows me around all the time,” you joshed, making him roll his eyes and reach forward to tug at your ear.

As the two of you settled back into the quiet of the library, his eyes grazed over the illustrations on the pages again. “So…” he started off slowly, seemingly sifting through all the questions he wanted to probe you with. “What do you think he wants to tell you?”

When you met his gaze, his chestnut irises deepened to a dark chocolate, a hint of an emotion playing in them that you couldn’t put your finger on. “Who knows, honestly,” you mumbled, tearing your attention away from him and back to the print of the angel Raphael. You lifted your fingers to brush against the dried ink. A joke played in your mind. “What if his intentions are bad?” You quipped, perking an eyebrow in his direction. A minxing sparkle in his vision indicated you were luring in his interest. “What if he’s actually a demon?”

He scoffed. “What makes you think that?”

The corner of your mouth bent crookedly into a smirk, leaning closer to him. Jake mimicked your actions, fighting the cocky look on his face as he followed your lead. “Kind of a sexy thought isn’t it? A demon after little ol’ me…” You mused. “I’d kinda prefer that, really.”

Your last statement came out in a fluttering whisper, fanning against Jake’s lips as he drew himself closer to you. The heat between the two of you blossomed like a vibrant desert rose. Jake always had the flaring effect on you that made your mouth water and your thighs draw tightly together. You could almost taste his tanned skin, feel his cognac-colored hair tugging between your fingers.

His eyes darted to your lips. “Naughty fucking girl,” he hissed, letting his hands drag up your thighs as he pulled you closer. You could practically feel his blunt nails digging into the denim of your jeans.

Inches from each other, a notification from your phone made you jump, cracking the thick tension in the room. You pushed him away from you with a laugh as he slumped back in his chair. You fanned yourself as you read over the email from your professor. “God, you almost ruined me in a fucking library,” you leered at Jake, gathering your stuff. “How embarrassing,” you snorted, making him laugh.

“Catch you later,” he called after you as you left.

Josh kicked his feet up on the table, dominating the space across from Jake as the two of them watched you leave the library. Jake barely looked up at his twin as he pulled the book you had been flipping through closer to him. Jake let out a soft, condescending laugh when he found the page he was looking for.

Clearing his throat and wetting his lips, Jake read, “He is not a governor of this earth, but an archangel of the hosts of heaven. He is not a general of this earth whose king can dismiss him whenever he please, but he is a commander of the forces of heaven, and, together with his King, endure for-ever.” Josh sent him a sly grin as Jake looked up at him. “And for some reason, here he is.”

Josh beamed at his brother, stretching his arms as if this meeting was an inconvenience to him. “I slept for shit last night,” he groaned.

“Yeah, must have been rough taking the time to run around in her dreams,” Jake bit back. “Isn’t there some kind of feast day you’re supposed to be at?” He snarked.

Josh mocked Jake’s tone in a fashion characteristic of siblings. Jake only humored him with an absent expression, still letting his mind wander to the scent of you spreading on his skin the longer the two of you were together. “They can wait. I haven’t caught up with you in so long!” Josh chimed.

Jake rolled his eyes. “God, I wonder why that could be,” he shot sarcastically. His eyes traveled down to the book once again. He had already read the material, knowing just where to point his attention. “I love the way Theodosius depicted your character. Listen to this: He maketh accusations against no man, but is careful for all. He hateth not mankind, but loveth every image of God. He is not our adversary, but is at peace with every man.” Jake stopped, looking up at Josh. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Jake’s eye twitched slightly. “’At peace with every man…’”

Conjuring up a dagger to oppose his brother’s retorts, Josh tilted his head back, closing his eyes. “Oh, come on now. You’re in the Bible! What did they say again?” He asked sardonically, beratement dripping from his tongue before he continued. “Wait, I remember. All your pomp has been brought down to the grave, along with the noise of your harps; maggots are spread out beneath you and the worms cover you-“

“Stop it,” Jake grumbled, a fire of anger lighting behind his eyes. The veins beneath his skin turned dark and murky, swimming across his limbs like eels caught in the current of a creek. The brothers were lucky the library was barren so early in the morning for the posters hanging on the wall began to flutter from an internal gust of wind ruffling the pages of displayed books.

Josh ignored his brother’s command, his voice twisting into a sing-song fashion as he leaned over the table like a child. “How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You are brought down to the realm of the dead, to the depths of the pit-“

Jake’s voice cut into Josh’s recital. “I said stop!” He barked, making Josh snicker.

“Oh, that’s right,” Josh sneered. “I wouldn’t want to accidentally banish you to hell,” he joked. “… again.”

As Jake recovered, Josh took the book from him. He opened it to the page with an illustration of him. It had flipped closed in the commotion. Jake sighed, rubbing his eyes. “What are you doing here? What do you want from her?” Jake asked, his voice dry and rocky.

Josh smiled at Jake once again, holding up the book for him and displaying the overly muscular depiction of himself. “They really captured my eyes, didn’t they?”

“Josh…”

Josh huffed. “Well, it’s been three years. She’s still up for grabs,” he noted. As soon as Jake’s attention was drawn to his timeline with you, his stomach sank. “It’s my turn, don’t you think?”

Jake shook his head at Josh’s words. “You sick bastard-“

“Come on, brother,” Josh tutted. “Would you rather give her to Sam? Lord knows what kind of shit he would do to her.”

Jake’s hand came down on the wooden table in front of them as he kicked his chair out from beneath him. “Touch her and I’ll kill you,” he husked. “-Both of you.”

Josh snorted at his brother’s threat. “What if we competed for her?” He suggested. “Let her choose her own fate?” Jake shook his head. “It’s kind of selfish of you if you think about it. You seduce her and she’s damned. Don’t you want your little girlfriend to get into heaven?”

Jake took little time to argue with Josh. “Oh? And I should feel better sending her to you so she can FiGhT fOr ThE riGhtEouS oNe and get torn apart by demons?” Josh didn’t answer Jake, letting him quarrel with his inner thoughts. “You only want her because I do.”

Josh wet his lips. “God works in mysterious ways. You never stuck it out long enough to see that.” Jake’s blood boiled at Josh’s words. “Unless I see the nail marks in his hand-“ Josh began to mock Jake’s past.

“Enough,” Jake grumbled before the words of the Bible could begin digging into his skin again. An image of you flashed into his mind once again. “The best man.”

“The best man,” Josh agreed, a hint of deviousness eating away at his expression. “If we fail she goes to Sam?”

Jake shook his head again, swatting away the hand that Josh had outstretched in solidarity. “You’re a fucking sadist. I don’t care if you’re God’s favorite.”

Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down---that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him…

The man from your dream reached out to you, his fingers stretching to touch you as the world burned around you. You wanted to pinch yourself, wake your mind from its unsettled playground as fire rippled in your peripheral vision. He was like a glowing savior in your subconscious---an image of God in the flesh. You weren’t a religious person, but you couldn’t stop yourself from falling to your knees amongst the tarnished rubble at your feet. You prayed to the man, begging for him to save you.

--- And then you woke up, just as you had many nights in a row: covered in sweat and clinging to your mattress as if your life depended on it.

Your breathing was harsh and difficult, making you taste the residual fear in the back of your throat. You pulled yourself to sit up, rubbing your eyes and trying to draw yourself away from reliving your nightmare. It was amid this action that you noticed the man sitting at the edge of the bed.

Warmth radiated from him, the glow around his body similar to an aura of Heaven’s Light. You could see Jake’s features in his bone structure, but their gaze had completely different motives behind the chocolate hues.

He seemed almost natural in your room like he had been there countless times before. “Who are you?” You asked quietly, nearly convinced you were still dreaming. He sat up slightly, catching the strips of moonlight across his face to illuminate his eyes.

He pushed himself further on the bed, crossing his legs. The blue light of the room bathed him in a softer filter. “I’m your guardian angel,” he hummed softly as if he was only there to confirm what you had already been thinking. “Josh.”

You perked an eyebrow at him, letting your attention flash to your roommate’s empty bed before meeting his gaze once again. You let out a snort. “Did Jake put you up to this?” You inquired, remembering the conversation the two of you had chided about. He had brushed it off then, but had he decided to pull this sick joke on you now?

Josh’s forehead wrinkled for a brief moment in disbelief. “No,” he answered starkly.

“This is really funny. I get it. You can tell him I laughed,” you mumbled with a sarcastic titter. You pulled the covers closer to yourself. “Let me go back to sleep and I’ll get back at him tomorrow.”

Josh watched you as if he were recognizing something in you. Maybe it was how you and Jake reacted so similarly to different situations. “Jake didn’t send me.”

You sighed. “Then what the fuck do you want, perv?”

“You.”

Your mouth grew dry at the way he spoke, his voice deep and soothing. If you hadn’t been completely convinced that he was merely an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard---you would have screamed. But there was something about him, something inhuman and supernatural. You had the same feeling around Jake, but with him, there was always a looming presence of something else.

Maybe a looming presence of Josh.

After silence had settled between the two of you, you chewed on the inside of your cheek. “You said you’re an angel, right?” You quizzed, waiting until he nodded to continue with your interrogation. “Prove it then.”

Josh gazed at you with a tired expression, something almost knowing glinting behind his eyes. You hated not knowing what was on his mind. His compelling nature was almost addictive. You wanted him to be real.

He stood up from your bed, holding his eye contact with you as he squared his shoulders and pulled his shirt over his head. Heat flushed to your cheeks at the sight of his toned chest and the thick leather straps secured over his torso. The buckles looked almost primeval to you yet void of rust as they latched together the material.

As Josh tugged the buckles and straps loose from his body, you fought not to stare at the waistline of his jeans, or the heat brewing in your core. Slowly, the leather fell against the carpeting beneath his feet, the sound of bone cracking and popping as he stretched his muscled back to reveal large, feathery wings. Spanning the length of the room, he extended the extra limbs to spread their fullness out to you.

He bit back a smirk as you sat, taken aback by the vision before you. His wings moved like stiff appendages, suppressed beneath the straps and Josh’s clothing to keep his identity concealed from anyone but---seemingly---you.

You stood from your bundle of sheets, gradually approaching him as he watched you almost tenderly. Despite the fact that you didn’t fear him, it was growing harder and harder to ignore the heat building from his apparent protection of you. As you circled his figure, he let the wings droop lower, giving you room to inspect him. “Your doubt reminds me of someone,” he joked quietly to himself. As you came into view of his back, you reached for the space between his wings, letting your fingertips brush over the warm skin to feel the connected bones.

A shiver ran up your spine as he lazily looked over his shoulder to watch you out of his peripheral view. He seemed comfortable with you like he wanted to be examined by you finally.

You continued your observation until you were in front of him, allowing a blush to fill your cheeks at his gaze on you. Josh reached for you, letting the pad of his thumb brush against your jaw as he curled his fingers into your hair. You leaned into his touch, still focused on one of his wings.

He pulled you closer to him, pressing his body against yours as his fingers toyed with the waistband of your pajama pants, slipping up to press against the skin of your hip. One of your hands moved to his wing as his lips neared your ear. Stroking the feathery limb softly beneath one of your hands drew a soft moan from his lips that he pressed against your neck.

You felt butterflies throughout your body at the sensualness of his touch, the strength of his hands held back to cradle you against his hard, warm body. You let out a quiet chuckle. “You like it when I do that?” You whispered meekly, losing your confidence.

Josh’s teeth grazed against your collarbone, his hand tugging your neckline out of the way of his mouth as his lips dragged across the exposed expanses of your chest. His other hand slithered down to grope your ass, grinding himself into you as your fingers threaded into the mass of feathers. “Give yourself to me,” he groaned against your skin, letting his tongue explore your taste.

Your thighs trembled with want; need. “Only for tonight…” you hummed; voice caught in your throat as his denim-covered cock hardened at your words while he pressed himself against you.

You fought not to whimper like a needy mutt as his lips met yours, his tongue lapping at the pleasured noises echoing from your mouth. The heat of the embrace made your knees weak, and your mind melt into putty. “Until you call for me again,” he jeered darkly, eliciting another of your soft moans. He pulled away from you, his thumb running along your bottom lip until he pushed it into your mouth. His grip lowered you to the ground in front of him. “First, get on your knees and pray for forgiveness. Beg for mercy for giving in to the devil’s temptation,” he asserted, eyes growing dark with lust as you bent to his every command.

With a hold still on your chin, he unbuckled his belt, letting your urgent hands take him. “Jake is only going to lead you away from the righteous,” he preached, tilting his head back as your tongue slithered along his shaft, taking his arousal past your lips. Josh didn’t give you time to question his words as his hips bucked into your mouth, making you groan at how needy he seemed to be for your mouth.

Your nails bit into his thighs as he worked himself against your tongue, using you as if he was your vessel for redemption. His sculpted body rippled with each of his moans, his wings twitching with his deep pace in your mouth. He seemed to glow above you, almost mimicking a holy relic in a cathedral. You wanted to worship him.

But something dark played in the back of your mind: Jake’s words warning you against angels like he had predicted this moment. You weren’t sure who to trust, even if Josh was throbbing down your throat and hissing your name as if he were cursing anyone who took you in the same way.

Josh pulled his hard cock out of your mouth, making you whimper at the loss of attention as his fingers in your hair held your head in place. “You’re letting the serpent into your garden,” he warned lowly, his eyes shining an inhuman color. Your lips felt sore as your jaw clenched, unable to find words.

You swallowed the cum that had swam from his cock when your mind finally focused on something other than the heat pooling between your legs. “Would you prefer self-flagellation, your holiness?” You mocked, making his lips turn up into a sadistic smirk.

He leaned down to hover inches from your face. You nearly sat up to push your tongue into his mouth, but his hand remained knotted in your locks. “Joke all you want; some need a bit more convincing…” he jested, pulling you up and onto your bed.

Lying on your stomach, you pushed yourself up with your hands to see what Josh was doing behind you. Before you could spot him, he was pinning you to the mattress beneath him, the sound of the leather straps sending shives down your spine as he traced one of the cool buckles along the skin of your back. “Accept the savior and I’ll go easy on you, human,” he vainly prompted, dipping so his warm breath beat against your neck while he spoke.

“Bible fucker,” you snorted back, mocking his attempts to get you to break. At your retort, he tugged your arms behind you, tying your fists together with the leather. You felt like a sick bastard, but without seeing Josh, you dared your mind to pretend it was Jake yanking your clothes out of his way so he could take you in all his heavenly glory.

You felt him drag his arousal against your wet core, teasing you as he bent over your frame, leaning his weight on one of his hands beside his head. “He’s tricking you. All demons trick you. Jake only wants your soul,” he muttered into your hair as you whined and attempted to buck back into him.

You gritted your teeth, tugging at the straps as you fought to touch him again. The absence of his body against yours was driving you crazy. “And what is it that you want?” You quipped back.

“Your salvation,” he doated, pressing himself into you as you whimpered. Josh gave you little time to adjust to his size as he straightened back up, gripping the straps over your wrist to hold you in place as he railed himself into you. You wished you could see the look of egotistical enjoyment painted across his features at your noises.

His thrusts were deep and rough, making your head spin. “Harder,” you whimpered, wanting nothing more than for him to batter your body. Jake’s hands flashed into your mind, the memory of the smell of his breath in the library making you clench around Josh’s cock. Josh fisted his hand into your hair again, driving himself into you at a brutal pace to answer your wishes. His wings blocked most of the moonlight from your vision as they tensed with his approaching orgasm.

His lips pressed against your shoulders, the roughness of his hands a stark contrast. “Repent,” he gritted, quickening his pace. “Cast away the demon.”

You dug your face into the sheets to muffle the ungodly sounds escaping your lips at his clutch on you. Despite how good Josh was making you feel, the possibility of Jake being a demon still lured your interest more.

Josh’s hand came down across your ass, the flesh stinging in the wake of his blow. You moaned at the action, letting his fingers grope and explore your body as he sank into you, forcing you closer and closer to the edge. At the adrenaline spiking through your veins, you tightened around him again, earning another smack at your excitement.

With the final spanking, you finished, making Josh grip your hips. He used you through your orgasm, drawing himself to cum as you moaned.

As the tension in the room settled, your sanity seemed to be wearing thin. An angel? Showing up in your room? To tell you your best friend was a demon? And that you needed to repent for a sin you had yet to commit?

You pulled your clothes on and turned back to Josh as you left. “Tell Jesus I’m not interested,” you joked, letting the door click shut behind you. As you got closer and closer to Jake’s apartment, a fear jolted through you. Josh didn’t act like a stereotypical angel; he was more of a brutish missionary than anything. So what would Jake the demon be like with you?

More importantly, what if Jake actually was a demon?

So the LORD God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and the woman…” ---

A third angel followed them and said in a loud voice: “If anyone worships the beast and its image and receives its mark on their forehead or on their hand, they, too, will drink the wine of God’s fury, which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath. They will be tormented with burning sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment will rise for ever and ever. There will be no rest day or night for those who worship the beast and its image, for anyone who receives the mark of its name…”

When you barged into Jake’s apartment, he was nowhere to be found. You were tired of trying to reach him, tired of listening to him attempt to coax you into a calmer mood. You marched into his room, digging through his drawers as you searched for evidence to support Josh’s claims.

You felt Jake’s presence almost instantly, despite not hearing him enter the apartment. “Would you stop?” He grunted, grabbing onto your arm to draw you away from his belongings. You fought against him until he threw you over his shoulder and onto his mattress, pinning you between his legs. He held your fists against his thighs as your heavy breathing struggled to normalize. His nose wrinkled above you. “Who were you just with?” He whispered, darkness lacing his voice as his eyes clouded with disgust.

You stilled, slightly nervous at his reaction. “What?” You coaxed, brows furrowing at the brunette as he leaned over you. You shrugged to free yourself from his grip on your wrists, sinking your nails into his jeans. He didn’t even flinch.

Jake buried his nose into the crook of your neck roughly, inadvertently grinding himself against you. You wanted to moan at the friction. “Who did you fuck?” He bit, his breath hot against your skin as he breathed in the scent of you, and what you could only assume was the residual essence of Josh. His hair draped over you like a curtain in his closeness.

You swallowed. “I don’t have to answer you. You’re a fucking demon,” you spat back, slipping your hands out of his hold. Even if you had shrugged off Josh, you weren’t going to run into the arms of the demon exasperatedly. Despite your hands being free, you were still unable to escape from beneath him. You tugged at his clothing and failed your arms, only for him to entrap you again.

“What?” He hissed. His eyes finally met yours, red veins of color striping into the umber tint of his irises. A storm was settling over his features, making Josh’s words echo through your mind. “I’m trying to protect you, slut,” he chastised. “What did that ass-kisser tell you?” Your body tensed at the degrading name, almost wanting to urge him to call you something else.

You glared up at him, trying to ignore how gorgeous he looked above you. His rigid breathing from wrestling you in to your position was barely noticeable, but his toned muscles pressed against his wrinkled shirt as it hugged his body. His dark eyes looked at you as if you were an animal finally caught in his claws.

A poor, defenseless creature awaiting your fate and enticed with whatever his mind could conjure up for you.

The excitement sparking within you at the menacing look clouding his features startled you. You hoped he couldn’t tell how wet you were growing under his weight. “He told me you’re trying to steal my soul or some shit,” you grumbled. “If you’re a demon, it lines up.”

His face shifted into disbelief. “You really believe that?” He asked, voice quiet yet still commanding. His body angled towards you as if he were willing every force in his head not to kiss you. When you didn’t answer he continued. “It started like that, but now…” He stopped himself.

Your face grew warm, your thighs straining to press together. “What?”

Jake’s grip loosened on your wrists and his coarse hands brushed down your arms until he was leaning over you. The feeling made you want to arch your back to press against his chest. “I’m too addicted to you to let you rot in hell.” A sultry grin crept across his face as you cast him an innocent look in your eyes. “I’d rather taste you for eternity than give you to that cult though.” He dipped closer to you, making the nerves between your legs flutter.

Your fingers slowly moved to the zipper of his jeans, the denim feeling inviting to your hands. “Josh said that I’d be faced with temptation if I confronted you,” you avowed, voice barely audible enough even for him. He bit back a heated smirk at the way you were now becoming so meek beneath him.

“Did he also tell you that as soon as you become one of his brainwashed skin-walkers you live under the false pretenses of free will?” He stoked. You moved to slip your hands beneath his shirt, dragging your nails up his back before two scars swelled under your finger pads. You wished you could see them.

You found it hard not to orgasm at the thought of being so close to Jake, who you’ve been dancing around fucking for years. His smell alone was making your toes curl with want. “And what about with you?”

He let out a gentle laugh. “Gnosis and an eternity of pleasure.”

Letting your hands fall away from his body, you snorted quietly. “What about hell? An eternity of suffering?”

Jake’s smile was sickeningly cocky. “The only suffering you’ll get is if you fuck the archangel again,” he noted. “Give yourself to me.”

As he said this, he looked at you as if you were his own goddess to worship and he was laying his sins at your feet as you savored a sacrificial lamb. He was in his own form of church pinned beneath you, want dripping in his voice and his gaze. You pushed your hips forward, twisting until you were on top of him. Jake’s strong hands shifted to hold your hips in place, keeping you firmly planted over his lap. You could feel his hardening arousal against you, straining more with each of your movements. “Give yourself to me,” you countered.

Jake’s eyebrow perked, a gestured so quickly it was almost missed by you. “Already have,” he confessed, pouring his devotion into his now wine-colored irises to mix with the unadulterated lust. “Pneuma,” he doated, a call name he seemed to reserve only for your ears.

You tilted your head as his hands brushed against your thighs, urging him to stay still until your command. “Truly?” You asked, receiving a nod from him. “Then tell me your name, demon. Prove it.”

His eyes grew darker at your words. “Leviathan,” Jake answered you, hesitation seemingly a non-existent word in his vocabulary when it came to you. He was yours with this confession, giving you a power over him that made your head swim.

Before you knew it, the two of you were clawing at each other’s clothing, lips pressed together in a fervent promise of passion between you. You ground your hips against his, rolling over his arousal as he begged you to ride him. Jake’s hair was splayed out around the pillows, his fingers biting into your skin.

With his lust-blown eyes trained on you, his irises grew redder alongside the tensing of his muscles. You weren’t sure how, but he seemed to be growing stronger beneath you. His large hands held you tightly as he sank into you, moaning as your nails raked down his chest. His voice was deep, sending chills throughout your body. The fact that a monster like him was letting you be in control made you clench around him.

Jake’s head dipped back into the pillows, your name escaping his lips with each of your thrusts up and down his cock. “You feel so good,” he hummed, meeting your gaze with his currant-hued eyes. You drew up one of his hands into your own, tugging him to sit up as he wrapped himself around you, bucking his hips up into yours. His lips smeared kisses against your shoulders.

You sank your teeth into his shoulder to muffle your strangled moans as his hands gripped at the flesh of your ass. Caught up in the heat of the moment, you had nearly forgotten the long mirror hanging on one of his walls. In your past visits, you usually did your makeup in front of it, but now, it was serving a different purpose. It was answering your wishes and proving you with proof.

At your angle, with Jake between your legs and digging his teeth into your skin, you finally gained a full view of his back. What you had previously felt beneath your fingertips was confirmed. Where Josh had magnificent wings, Jake had large scars. Healed welts littered the skin surrounding the scarring as if he had been whipped.

It seemed that Jake’s hellish reputation held some merit.

Jake seemed to piece together what you were looking at, knotting his hand in your hair and drawing your head back to give himself access to your neck. His tongue was wet against your skin as he mapped where his lips and teeth would soon follow.

Rocking himself into you, he buried himself into the lace covering your chest. Just above your breast, he nipped at your skin. You were willingly giving yourself over to him for the devil’s mark.

He pushed you back against the mattress, crawling over you to wrap his hand around your neck. “The angel can’t save you now,” he leered, letting his hair fall around you as your fingernails dug into his shoulders with each of his deep thrusts.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes, gripping onto his wrist that had you pinned to the mattress. “Who says I want him to?” You bit back, making Jake grunt as he drew your thighs further up his body to hammer himself into you, chasing the feeling of you clenching around him.

Jake pressed your lips together, smearing the taste of him into your mouth as you moaned at the action, wanting him to make you cum. You wanted the mark on your chest to scar; a permanent reminder that you belonged to Jake, a badge you would wear with pride.

As he brought you to finish, the sight of you unraveling around his cock sent him over the edge too, his lips finding your neck once again in a messy testament of his pleasure. You drew him closer to you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to hold him against your chest as the two of you caught your breath, your mind still spiraling.

With your heartbeat settling, you threaded your fingers into Jake’s hair as he pressed soft kisses against your skin; a quiet apology for the soreness you were already starting to feel. Your blunt nails raked against his neck soothingly. “Why do you have welts…” you probed quietly.

Jake dug himself further into your chest, his arms tightening around you. “When Josh threw me down to hell, I had to pay for disobeying,” he grunted, the annoyance in his voice brushing the seriousness away from the discussion. “That was a long time ago, though.”

You nodded at his words. “What now?” You whispered, basking in the feeling of his gentle lips as they settled against your skin again.

“Whatever you want,” he answered. “We have all the time in the world.”

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruins of souls.

Amen.

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Jake

@theweightofstardust @celestialfauna @cowboysamkiszka @sarakay-gvf @brokenbellz @lupinevanfleet @screechesincoherently @alwayssotiredbutneverofyou @gretavanfleas @katie-gvf @doitjakeys @fricknlucas @jakekiszkaschiropractor @janegvf @sparrowofthedawn @kayleea122 @tlexx @groggyvanfleet @garagebandvanfleet @kiszkathecook @lightmyluv @age-of-nyahh @streamsofstardust @gvfrry @trplshotofdopamine @myownparadise96 @st4rdust-ch0rds @jakekiszska @h-e-l-l-o-s @stardustdanny @streamsofstardust @gretavankleep37 @addietagglikesbands @loofypoofy @doodle417 @godlygreta @gretasmokerising @trafficwasabitch @xserenax-13 @thatcatbsong @ascendingtothestarsasone @nirvanablues @jackiidk @sing-against-the-sky @emma-vanfleet @ria-gvf @thefleetofdreams

Josh

@groggyvanfleet @gretav4nfleet @betheonebetheonebetheone @moondustmemories @eeeloraaa @vertigomoon @lovinghunty @anneanirac @lightmygreta @gretavanferal

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