#by nano staff

[nanowrimo]

How To Write A Healthy Relationship

Writing healthy love is hard! Finding a balance between engaging conflict and fulfilling romance is not an easy task, but it is worthwhile. NaNoWriMo Programs Fellow, Riya Cyriac, offers insight, advice, and examples on how to write healthy relationships.

Throughout my time as a reader and a writer, I’ve encountered an abundance of romances that range from swoon worthy to absolutely disastrous. This is not discounting either end of the spectrum: they have their place. However, there seems to be a noticeable lack of representation for healthy, fulfilling relationships in literature. This is particularly evident in Young Adult literature, where the portrayal of healthy relationships is particularly essential. If you are interested in writing a healthy relationship and filling that void, here are some observations, suggestions, and tips to do that

Obsession and Anger are not Expressions of Healthy Love

As a young adult, I often read books that romanticized obsession and anger. If the love interest punched someone who shows interest in their partner, that is not an indication of passion or love. On the contrary, it should be a glaring red flag. If a character relentlessly pursues their love interest despite resistance, it is not love. It is an obsession, and a clear sign that the character views the other as their property. It’s tempting to use these actions as expressions of passion because it is easy and bold. 

And sure, you definitely can! But avoid romanticizing them and claiming that they are normal in a healthy relationship. If you do, you run the risk of letting your readers glorify and pursue an unideal version of love (especially if you write for younger readers). If you do use these, acknowledge the toxicity and danger.

I say this because I once was one of those impressionable readers who viewed love as obsessive, passionate, and possessive. This caused me to develop an unhealthy ideal of what a secure relationship should look like. Now, I’m in a healthy relationship, but it took a lot of self-insight and reflection to override those influences.

Security, Trust, and Communication are Expressions of Healthy Love

Healthy relationships are founded on security, trust, and communication. Your character’s healthy relationships should also represent these key values. First is security. Attachment theory shows that dependency is normal in healthy relationships. After all, you are giving your heart to someone. Therefore, there should be an inherent trust laying at the foundation. Your characters don’t have to flip over a table if the other partner got lunch with a work colleague. Sure, they can be jealous, but there are healthy ways to express jealousy. 

If you're aiming to write a healthy relationship, consider this solution to the problem. Communicate why character B grabbing lunch with a colleague made character A feel a certain way. Maybe it’s because they’re insecure? If that’s the case, the character B can reassure them. If it’s because the other person has made suspicious advances before, then character B can respect character A’s feelings and create distance with the colleague. Obviously, characters are flawed. They aren’t programmed to communicate well, and relationships put characters in a very vulnerable position. Thus, it’s necessary to show both lows and highs in a healthy relationships

Healthy relationships Have Lows and Highs

Healthy relationships take time and effort to form. Couples in real life rarely adjust quickly to opening up their heart, so why should your characters. A healthy relationship is bound to have arguments, disagreements, worries, and insecurities…particularly in early stages. Maybe your characters disagree about where to eat dinner. Maybe they feel like they aren’t getting enough affection and attention from their partner. There are many different relationship conflicts to explore. Here is a list of a couple common ones. It’s perfectly okay to include conflict in the story of a healthy relationship. After all, it mimics real life! It’s also okay for characters to resort to unhealthy methods of responding to conflict as long as you, the author, emphasize that it’s not healthy. 

How do you do this? You don’t have to outright break the 4th wall and say, “by the way, this isn’t healthy.” You can have the character shocked by the behavior. You can have a friend or loved one tell the character that the habit isn’t okay. Sometimes, this revelation won’t occur until later. But as a rule of thumb, if something feels wrong, it is likely to be wrong. Trust your gut.

Lows make the drama, but highs make the swoon worthy moments that compensate for those lows. Typically, healthy relationships should have a magic ratio of 5:1; 5 good moments for every bad one. These moments can be buying flowers, getting dinner, reconciling a conflict, or even something as small as receiving a kiss on the forehead. These moments don’t have to be big scenes in your novel, but it should be clear to the reader that the relationship still has its shine.

Healthy Relationships Are…Boring?

Maybe the reason healthy relationships aren’t as featured in novels is because they can be a little boring in the context of the book. Relationship highs and lows keep a reader on their seat, which is why many writers are drawn by the lure of a toxic relationship. It keeps things moving! 

This can also explain why many healthy relationships are reserved for auxiliary characters. But I argue that a well-written healthy relationship can be just as exciting and balancing.

For one, the relationship you’re writing about doesn't always have to be healthy. The characters can start off having a toxic dynamic. Through effort and time, they can unlearn their habits and end the story while being in a fulfilling relationship. This is just as impactful as showing healthy behaviors throughout, and arguably, more influential and inspirational to readers and the plot. 

A healthy relationship can balance out a heavy plot. If your story has a heavy plot with intense worldbuilding and fight scenes, consider balancing it out with a healthy and stable relationship. It can bring light to dark moments and cause the reader to ship your characters endlessly. 

Not Every Relationship Needs to be Healthy

Not every relationship in your story needs to be healthy. Some stories will be about abuse. Some stories will be about learning to love. Every story will require a different relationship dynamic, so don’t feel bad if you’re not writing a healthy relationship. However, good relationships should be striving towards being healthy, while bad relationships should be acknowledged as bad. Too many times have I read books where unhealthy relationship habits were normalized and romanticized. As writers, it’s our responsibility to be accurate to our readers, especially if we write for young readers.

Riya Cyriac is the 2022 Programs Fellow at NaNoWriMo. She is also the Executive Director of The Young Writers Initiative. She attends the University of Texas at Austin, and is currently working on a fantasy novel. She writes more advice on her blog. 

#writing advice #amwriting #romance #relationships #riya cyriac #by nano staff #characters

[star-going-supernova]

i love the prompt you did the other day of Gregory protecting other kids and I was wondering if you planned on expanding on it ?

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it! I wasn’t planning on expanding it, but I need more words for NaNo, so here we are! And just to be clear, this isn’t one of my tumblr generated prompts. Reminder that Gregory’s thirteen in this AU! This picks up pretty much right where The Most Dangerous Game left off.

The Most Dangerous Prey

Gregory ran through the daycare lobby. He pushed through the doors with only as much care as he did because the last thing he wanted was to draw attention to this part of the pizzaplex. Sprinting in the direction he thought the scream had come from, he dodged STAFF bots left and right without pause. Tonight, every second counted, and he’d already been delayed. 

He nearly kept going down the main hall, but he got lucky. He saw the blood splashed on the shiny floor tiles and skidded to a stop. There was a smear that trailed off in the direction of an employees only door. 

Trying to balance caution and haste sucked, but the element of surprise was one of Gregory’s greatest advantages, one he couldn’t afford to just throw away. He slipped silently through the door and hurried along as fast as he dared. 

His restraint was rewarded. He came upon the child and their attacker, one of the animatronics. The poor kid was practically being dragged along, breathing raggedly as he scrabbled uselessly at Freddy’s iron grip. His shaggy blond hair was half red with blood. Freddy didn’t notice Gregory sneaking closer. 

He unholstered his crowbar and eyed the back of the animatronic to choose the best place to hit. They weren’t as fragile as the bare endoskeletons, so their weaknesses weren’t as obvious. 

But make no mistake: they had weaknesses. 

Freddy was tall, but Gregory was a gangly teenager. When he raised his crowbar behind his head, both hands wrapped around the end, he was more than capable of heaving it up and over and down into the very base of Freddy’s neck. 

The awful crack of plastic was so loud in that empty hallway, and Freddy’s body gave a great spasm. He dropped the kid, who gasped and curled into a ball on the floor. Gregory wrenched the crowbar free, pulling down as much as he could without getting it stuck. Twitching violently as more than one severed wire was suddenly jutting out from the hole in the back of his neck, Freddy stumbled forward. 

His head turned as far as it could, which was farther than Gregory thought was reasonable and therefore was really, really creepy. Nearly looking straight behind himself, Freddy’s blank, glowing eyes settled on Gregory. His body turned itself around without his head even bobbing in place, which was so inhuman that Gregory’s arms got goosebumps.

He flipped the crowbar around in his hands and blew out a thin breath. He settled on his next target: the connections between legs and pelvis. They were the largest joint openings on Freddy’s front. 

Just as dumb as the endoskeleton, Freddy lumbered toward him with one hand outstretched. He was decently fast for something his size and weight, and if Freddy managed to catch someone off guard, Gregory could see how easily they would fall prey to his bloody claws. 

Gregory, though, was prepared. He smashed the flat of the crowbar into Freddy’s wrist, pushing it away, something audibly breaking under the orange plating. It also served to give Gregory some space, and he used it well. When Freddy overcorrected with his other hand, Gregory dodged forward, metal fingers just barely skimming his shoulder. He drove the less angled end up into the gap and then threw his weight to the side. 

The crowbar did as the crowbar was designed to do: it pried those two pieces apart like they were held together with twine. A sharp pop inside Freddy’s hip sure sounded exactly like he imagined a robotic joint dislocating would. 

His leg went limp, and Freddy tipped over like a tree being felled. 

Taking that as the advantage it was, Gregory hissed an apology as he scooped up the younger boy and dragged him down the hall, out of reach of the animatronic watching them in intense, eerie silence. The kid cried out but didn’t protest, even trying to help by holding on to Gregory. 

“Wait, wait,” he whimpered, and Gregory obligingly paused. “There’s—inside him.” He shakily pointed at Freddy, who was attempting to stand without seeming to understand that his leg was useless. 

“What?” 

“Inside him,” the kid pleaded. “He’s inside him. In his stomach.” 

Gregory looked at Freddy in horror, because now that his heartbeat wasn’t pounding in his ears, he could hear it: very faint crying. And it was coming from inside Freddy. 

Gregory bounced up on his toes a few times, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. “Stay here,” he warned the kid, handing him his crowbar. And then Gregory charged a robot that was easily twice his size and way heavier. 

It never would have worked if Freddy’d had both legs working, or if he’d been any smarter than he was. Gregory plowed full force into Freddy just as he got himself upright with the help of the wall, and relief flooded his chest when it proved to be enough. They toppled over together, Gregory on top of him. 

He pushed himself up as fast as he could and swung his legs around. Freddy’s undamaged hand shot toward his face, and sharp pain exploded across his cheek as Gregory kicked forward with both feet, slamming his sneakers into the underside of Freddy’s jaw. 

He got a satisfying snapping noise for his efforts, and the damage was, thank goodness, enough to shut the animatronic down. Freddy’s eyes flickered off, and his hand fell limply away from Gregory’s face. He hissed as he brushed tentative fingers over his cheek. They came back dripping with blood.

Climbing off Freddy, he gestured at the boy watching with wide eyes, and he obligingly slid the crowbar over. Gregory snatched it up, then tapped gently on the metal of Freddy’s chest. “Hey,” he said. The crying paused with a little sniffle. “I’m gonna get you out, okay? Just, stay back.” 

He waited a moment for the trapped kid to get clear, then shoved the flatter end of the crowbar into the thin space between chest plates. It took a few tries to get it deep enough that it didn’t just slip out, but finally, he was able to leverage his whole weight down on the crowbar. With a strained hiss, the panels popped open. Gregory stood up and pulled them outward. 

Inside a hollow cavity that made up Freddy’s torso was a kid maybe even younger than Jenna. He looked up with watery eyes, tear tracks shining on his cheeks. He looked a lot like the first boy.

Gregory holstered his crowbar. “Hi,” he said gently. “I’m Gregory. Can I help you out?” 

The little boy nodded, and Gregory mostly lifted him out of the robot. He was shaking, his legs barely able to hold him up. When he spotted the other boy, he gasped and stumbled forward. 

“Connor,” the older of the two wheezed, pushing himself up even though it looked to hurt him a lot. There was… way more blood on him than Gregory had initially noticed. 

Gregory helped Connor to his presumed older brother, and he gave them a few minutes to reassure themselves that the other was okay. He kept a wary eye on Freddy, but the animatronic gave no sign of powering up. 

However, he was worried Freddy might have sent a message, either to another member of the band or the crazy killer herself. 

“We’ve gotta go,” Gregory finally said. Connor didn’t look injured, just shaken and honestly terrified. His brother, though… “What’s your name?” 

“Cooper,” he said. He was probably only a year or so younger than Gregory. “Thank you. Thank you for…” His eyes drifted past Gregory to Freddy.

“No problem,” Gregory said. “Look, I’ve got a—a place that’s kinda safe. There are others there already. Can I bring you guys?” 

Cooper nodded. “Anything’s gotta be better than just running around and hoping for the best.” 

“Yeah,” Gregory agreed tiredly. “C’mon, I’ll carry you piggyback.” 

With some maneuvering, they managed to get Cooper onto Gregory’s back. Gregory had to admire the kid—he barely made a sound even though he had to have been in a lot of pain. 

“You ready?” he asked them. 

Connor took hold of Gregory’s shirt, looking up at him with trusting eyes. 

“Ready,” Cooper said, strained. “Does your safe place have first aid kits by any chance?” 

“Oh,” Gregory said, not without humor, as he imagined the sort of first aid kits the overprotective daycare attendants surely had lying around in spades, “I think we’ll be able to find you something.” 

They set off, another pair of kids for Gregory to protect. Another robot he’d taken down. Another blood stain ruining his shirt. 

And he doubted it’d be the last. 

#i answered a thing #anonymous #fnaf fic #fnaf security breach #star's stories #life and times of star

[moreyachtsforgrant]

In case anyone was wondering regarding the state of the NaNoWriMo organization, well, it's still entirely fucked.

To address some of the misinformation floating around out there, in a format that will essentially reach twelve people, if I'm lucky, I would like to clarify that Mod X (the alleged groomer) is not, and has not been involved with the situation and toxic culture that has developed on the YWP forums.

Why do I call it toxic? Simply put, it is. It is a toxic environment that has forced teenagers to bear the burden of mental health support for other teenagers. The sheer amount of trauma bonding I've witnessed as these teens have come forward with their stories is alarming. This is not the fault of the teens. It is the fault of the staff members assigned to moderate them, the same staffers who absolutely failed on every possible count to protect their charges.

The Board is continuing to "investigate", which I have to actively choose to believe means they're sifting through the data they've been sent and are hoping to supplement it with their own findings. The forums (both the main site and the YWP) are still shut down, outside of the one thread in the board section. It's pretty much perpetually off-topic, anyway.

It is hard to see any future where the forums are allowed to continue. That is not entirely the fault of us, the community. The blame rests on HQ and staff refusing to acknowledge there were problems and on the moderators for being reactive instead of proactive.

The drama has reached some less than savory parts of the internet, as well, and concerns raised to the Board via email regarding a possible influx of hateful and dangerous people have thus far gone ignored.

To anyone who sees this post and uses the NaNo websites, I urge you to remove any personal information your profiles may have. Switch your attached emails to burners, if possible. I have been assured by former moderators in regards to the supposed "data breach" that Mod X did not have access to any passwords or email addresses, and only maybe could have seen username changes, but I will reiterate:

NaNoWriMo is not safe. They have not protected you. They aren't protecting you. You will have to protect yourself.

May your whisper networks be free of hateful rhetoric, and may your off-site discussions not turn to negativity.

I wish you all well.

-Definitely Not Grant

#nanowrimo #nano 2023 #national novel writing month

[howlingday]

The Forgotten Schnee

Jacques: My chikdren are champions! Except for Jaune.

Willow: Which one is Jaune again?

Jaune: (Sneezed on by a deer, Sighs)

---------------------------------------------------

Klein: Master Jaune, your parents called. They have decided to extend their trip to Vale by one week.

Jaune: But... But my birthday is tomorrow.

Klein: Indeed. (Sets birthday cake down, Cake falls over)

Jaune: Are... Are my sisters coming?

Klein: They send their regards from military and reform school respectively.

---------------------------------------------------

Jacques: Gather 'round, Schnee family. You've been gathered to Schnee Manor to uphold our most grand of traditions; the annual rankings of the Schnee children. Klein, remove the names from the board.

Klein: (Scrubs names with push broom)

Jacques: You each have one minute to defend your worth. Whitley?

Whitley: I have just made partner at my firm. I have also seen to it that the case is resolved to our benefit. After all, is it not every Faunus' right to work themselves to death for the SDC without any benefits to his surviving kin?

Willow: Weiss?

Weiss: I have just ended my six-figure singing contract to pursue my one, true passion. Freelance huntress service!

Jacques: Our cup zero is becoming a hero! (Snorts) Jaune.

Jaune: O-Oh, uh, my job is super important, too! I just, uh, can't talk about it, or the tiny nano-bots will explode my brain.

Jacques: Yes, your "classified" job. (Sighs) I can't help blaming myself... for not blaming the staff hard enough for raising you weak! You've always been an embarrassment! Unlike Winter, here, who will surely carry the family name!

Winter: My campaign for Mantle Chairman airs it's first commercial tonight. Truly, this campaign could not have happened without all of you.

Jaune: (Watches everyone self-praise) W-Wait. Are ALL of you working on Winter's campaign? Why didn't anyone ask me for help?

Jacques: With what?! Slowly draining your trust fund?! Klein, up top! (High fives Klein)

Klein: Savage burn, sir.

Winter: No offense, Jaune, but you have always been a sort of... spineless yes-man.

Jaune: I'm not spineless! The doctors just say my spine is huggably soft...

Willow: Well, Stardust II just had her first foal, so it's a tie for fourth.

Jacques: All those in favor of Stardust II in fourth!

Schnees: AYE!

Jaune: ...Aye.

Jacques: Bring out the will, because that horse is getting a beach house in Menagerie!

#rwby #inside job #jacques schnee #willow schnee #jaune arc #klein sieben #weiss schnee #whitley schnee #winter schnee

[notwritinganyflufftoday]

I reached 50k for NaNo with my Magical Boys WIP.

There is no better way to celebrate than looking back on the chaos I have unleashed in this writing project in November:

Introduced Beau's mum who is way cooler than him

Yeeted Billy into the Pit of Despair (it was fun, but not for him)

First kiss scene with Younes (he deserves only nice things)

"HE'S DATING HIS COUSIN?!" Unleashed the chaos of the high school rumour mill

Improvised fight scenes (throw shield like frisbee, use magical staff as a sauté stick)

Arno POV!! Revealed that he is 1. a mess, 2. a sassy bitch, 3. "very very gay"

Turned the main villain into a sad, pathetic loser who really needs a hug and therapy.

And lastly:

Wrote 5k of side-characters getting it on in the good ol' days of the 11th century, because everyone deserves to have a good time while their buddy who they're madly in love with is watching. That's completely normal and fine. No one is coping unhealthily with an unrequited love., nuh-uh~

magical boys taglist: @dustylovelyrun, @wildswrites, @sarandipitywrites, @skyderman, @zeenimf

#nanowrimo #magical boys wip

[cog5]

Last Call at the South Keep

The South Keep was originally completed in May 2023, as part of #dungeon23. The combined area has now been added to the PDF, along with an accompanying set of 20 random happenings. 

This is also the first time in months that I’ve revisited editing of the mega-dungeon as a whole, rather than focusing on daily room keys. As part of that, I’m adding overlapping prompts and encounters to hook players from one major area to the next. This is a lot easier now that each room is complete and I know the bounds of the entire mega-dungeon. 

I’ve also played with the formatting a bit, added a few quality of life changes to the layout. Fixed lots of embarrassing typos, and undoubtedly added new ones that will be even more embarrassing! I have a bad habit of adding and removing nouns and adjectives that result in an “an” somewhere that should be an “a”, or vice-versa. All that to say: Edits continue. 

For areas that do not yet exist in the PDF, or pages that may shift, I’ve left placeholders, referenced as “##”. These will be filled in as new areas are added. I’m not sure if it’s more preferable to get updates monthly, or if people would rather get areas in larger batches, two or three at a time? Either way, I’m working towards having all 12 areas compiled, edited and added to the PDF by the end of the summer in 2024.

Back to the South Keep. This post will include some behind-the-scenes thoughts that will make more sense if you’ve read through the area at least once, but I’ll try to include some context regardless.

The layout of the South Keep is probably the least interesting to me, it ended up pretty boxy, the “pages” really stick out here. But the encounters ended up being some of the most bizarre and entertaining keys I’ve written, so that redeems it for me. Some of the mega-dungeon’s narrative gets fleshed out here, too. There’s a lot going on. 

This segment of the adventure is a bit of a refuge for adventurers, a place to take a breather. Not to say the South Keep is a cakewalk, but my focus was to lean into weird encounters, rather than fatal combat scenarios. As a matter of pacing, the Gatehouse and Factory that surround the South Keep are much more dangerous, and it’s likely players have just passed through one of those areas to get here. 

From the south entrance, the narrative builds on how The King has been dethroned. In the entry hall, there is a statue of the monarch with their head missing. This continues the theme presented earlier in the Gatehouse garden, where it’s shown that members of the royal court had turned on The King.

From the west entrance, things are a little more random. There’s a “disturbed” spot on the floor. At the very least, it shows how the keep is decaying, where a sinkhole might appear. This place is old. Another more interesting option establishes the presence of a Clerical Beast who roams the South Keep. This creature was inspired by the administrative offices, found further in, and may show up as a random happening. This area may also be the first sighting of Nanomachines, which play a larger role later in the mega-dungeon. 

The concept of the players spending a lifetime as a nano-proxy was a riff on the old Star Trek TNG episode “The Inner Light”, where Picard is rendered unconscious for a few minutes, but experiences an entire lifetime on an alien world. Or maybe that “Hard Time” episode of Deep Space Nine, where O’Brian is falsely convicted for a crime, and as punishment he is implanted with memories of being imprisoned for several years. Some kind of mash-up along those lines. I resisted adding a flute or a sympathetic doctor.

The major factions in this area are the Office Automatons and the staff and patrons of Dillo’s Bar. There’s a chance that neither of these groups ever interact, but I’ve set up a lot of dominoes here. Add the players to the mix and something is going to topple. 

The Office Automatons as non-player characters don’t garner a lot of sympathy, but do flesh out the administrative nature of mega-dungeon. I think it’s more likely that players will gravitate to Dillo’s side of the keep where they can take on quests to delve deeper into the dungeon.

The ultimate showdown between the Office Automatons and Dillo’s Bar is if the second “Order of Business” event is triggered. This is where The Spire’s Administration has decided to send in guards to shut down Dillo’s by force, creating a standoff for the players to get wrapped up in.

An aside: Speaking of random things, I don’t know why nested random tables appeal to me so much, but I love writing them. Burying elaborate events behind improbable chance just feels good. A 1-in-100 chance of a good time makes it a great time. It’s probably near the same part of the brain where rolling a crit lives.

And then there’s the theater. The main stage area sets up more of the narrative for the dungeon itself. Establishing the undead Queen who will show up later in the Monastery, establishing how the Tetric Necromancer thinks highly of himself, as the rightful ruler of The Spire. More King bashing. Elements of propaganda through technology, etc. That all fits fine. 

What didn’t fit in the theater was the addition of Guilfoyle’s Ghost. But I ain’t mad. I sort of fell in love with the concept as I was writing it, a thespian ghost whose play is slowly eating the real world. Then I ran out of space to really do it justice (trying to keep each area contained on one page). I hope it’s a concept that a game group can take and expand on. It’s a bad situation that’s easy to stumble on, and could easily end a run if players are unable to resolve things. I especially liked it because it’s high-stakes but doesn’t inherently involve fighting. It’s more like a trap you can reason with. And that’s pretty cool. A concept worth exploring further in the future.

Before I wrote the theater, I wrote the gallery. I basically wanted a “weird event” generator. The paintings on the walls come alive and create a situation for the players to navigate. Resolving the situation grants them some kind of item as a reward. A bit of a slot machine, I suppose. A lot of the painting descriptions are based off of dreams I’ve had, visuals that have stuck with me over the years. Have fun with them.

I don’t have a lot to say about the Recess of Finance. Depressed bank machines just seemed amusing to me. 

And lastly, the Morning room, a chill place to rest. I think it would be nice to end a session there, have the party sleep, and when they wake up their wounds are mended. With the side effect of being covered in geometric tattoos, caused by the magical healing properties of the stained glass windows.

I’m going to sleep now, too. See you in the next area!

#ttrpg #dungeon23 #ttrpg maps #dnd #indie ttrpg #ttrpgs #osr #drawing #ttrpg art #inkdrawing

[the-nanowrimo-chronicles]

Discords, forums and a decade’s worth of allegations: how Nanowrimo started a revolution against it.

I’m just gonna copy paste the Reddit post since. I cannot figure Tumblr out. So I apologise for the weird formatting. If you’d rather read the Reddit posts:

Trigger warnings: child abuse, assault, predators, racism, fetishes, ableism, terrorism, bombings, and just plain abuse. 

This will also include brief mentions of religion. 

**Terms used in the Nanowrimo community:**

Nanowrimo: national novel writing month: a writing challenge to write 50k words in November. This is also used to refer to the organisation, a Californian 501c3 that the challenge originates from, with a website and a forum. However the challenge can be done without the organisation. Often called ‘nano’ for short. 

Young Writers’ Program: a Nanowrimo run platform aimed at people under 18. A separate site with classrooms and its own separate forum. The forum is for people aged 13-18. Often called ‘YWP’ for short.

Municipal Liasions: community organisers responsible for one region. This could be a city or a country depending on size and population. They help organise local events and mod their regional forums. Municipal Liasions are not paid. There are several hundreds of them. Often called ‘MLs’ for short. 

Christian Teens Together: a group on the main Nanowrimo forums, and the largest group on the forums. Despite the name the group is not entirely composed of Christians or teens, however that is where the group originates. The majority of the group are minors. Often called ‘CTT’ for short.

Random Thoughts and Exclamations: the main thread of the YWP forums, basically a general. Often called ‘RTAE’ for short.

Prior to the meltdown, Nanowrimo had around 15 salaried staff. These are collectively referred to as HQ. However, they also have several forum moderators. These receive a $100 check at the end of the year, but are mostly considered volunteers. These mods have no involvement in the main site. However, some staff that worked on the forums were salaried and had main site involvement and so will be considered part of HQ unless stated later on.

 **Scam sponsorships.**

In December 2022, a group of Nanowrimo users raised concerns about a pair of vanity publishers that had sponsored the Nanowrimo challenge. (A vanity publisher or vanity press is a publisher where the author pays the costs and surrenders a large portion of the rights to their work.) Nanowrimo had promoted discounts for these publishers, Inkitt and Manuscripts, to winners of its challenge. Staff and mods suspended and muted multiple accounts who raised the initial concerns, but eventually allowed a forum thread discussing concerns to remain. One of the affected users explained the concerns as follows:

> Now that I’ve been unbanned, I will try to keep the last 24 hours of thoughts…concise. Inkitt should NEVER have been accepted as a NaNoWriMo sponsor. They have changed business models every few years, and every business model has involved using up the first pub rights of any author who submits, WHICH IS A BIG DEAL, and promising them sketchy ‘prizes’ or ‘contracts’ in return. People who have given them a try also say that getting their content removed is a nightmare and they had to threaten legal action. These are just the starting points.

> There are blog posts about them from many authors dating back to at least 2016, [including my own](https://wrrrdnrrrdgrrrl.com/2016/05/23/inkitt-scam-spam-no-thank-you-maam/), that are easily discoverable by searching “Inkitt scam.” None of this should ever have happened.

> That said, it happened. And the mods panicked, and I went and wrote a [whole new blog](https://wrrrdnrrrdgrrrl.com/2022/11/30/on-nanowrimo-inkitt-and-being-an-author/ ) (which I will update soon to reflect NaNo’s better handling of things today) to warn people away from Inkitt because I wasn’t allowed to do so on the forums. And because I have some audience and writer friends, that got around, and [Victoria Strauss](https://twitter.com/victoriastrauss/status/1598114401818902529) got involved, and eventually we got here.

The following day, the Executive Director responded to the concerns with this message:

> I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and feedback, and want to start with an apology that our vetting process hasn’t met the high values we place on our community care. It shouldn’t have come to this (like so many of you said), but now that it has, we’re taking it as a learning moment to improve our sponsorship processes and find ways to dig deeper into an evaluation of a company.

> We’ve also ended the sponsorship with Inkitt and Manuscripts.

> Currently, the vetting process involves talking to writers, editors, or those working in the writing/publishing “ecosystem,” and then interviewing the potential companies. We often have a long-term relationship with a company and work with them year-over-year, but as the writing/publishing landscape changes so dramatically every year, we often find out about new companies and reach out to them or they reach out to us. We will do a more thorough evaluation of these processes and policies as part of our 2023 planning process to see what changes we need to make. Our goal will be to ensure our policies are in line with our organizational values, and to make sure the process is more transparent. For example, we’re discussing how we can ensure that a wider range of community and trusted industry voices are heard in this process, and on that note, we have already asked Victoria Strauss from Writer Beware to act as a consultant. We’re really pleased that she’s generously agreed to this, as this is her area of expertise and her ethical standards are admirably high. Also, she’s been passionately committed to analyzing products and services for writers for so long.

> We’ll also be sure to consult the resources you’ve already named, such as the various forum threads where you all have been sharing your experiences with companies.

> Thank you again for raising your concerns. We take your feedback very seriously and center it in our plans to care for the community. I’m not just saying that—this has been a valuable learning moment to help us do a better job of vetting sponsors more thoroughly. Your voices are the most important thing we consider when making decisions—not sponsors, but you. I’m sorry that it hasn’t always felt like that in the past, and hope that we can make sure it does in the future. Like you, we think NaNoWriMo should be a place where writers can come for trusted resources. We’re disappointed in ourselves that we lost that trust, and we hope to regain it. I invite you to send on feedback at any time to [email protected].

While Inkitt and Manuscripts were removed as sponsors, it recently emerged that Inkitt was a major donor for Nanowrimo. Some users were beginning to feel that Nanowrimo was protecting their own interests over the interests of their users, which only got worse when new allegations came out the following year.

**Inaction against predators.**

In May 2023, a group of users raised allegations about a moderator of Christian Teens Together. The [allegations](https://nitter.net/Arumi_kai/status/1722007756058574916#m) were that this moderator was luring minors onto a fetish site they ran. The allegations were sent to the Executive Director and the Director of Programs, but no actions were taken after a month. An FBI report had already been filed, but the fetish site was being scrubbed, suggesting that the staff there had been tipped off after the allegations. The group built a new case and after public pressure, got the moderator removed for violations of the forum Code of Conduct after they started threatening the group and the Nanowrimo organisation offsite. This moderator could be a whole post on their own, and has used sockpuppet accounts to lurk on the forums and has commented on the situation on their tumblr. They are often referred to as Mod X, and will be referred to as such in this essay.

In June, a thread on moderation was opened, and a discussion began about the culture of CTT, where it became clear that Mod X had isolated the group and emotionally abused them. It was also revealed that the CTT had a ‘three strikes and shutdown’ system for a group with over a thousand members. One user explained the problem as follows:

> How the CTT members were given only three strikes for over one thousand people is, frankly, appalling and obscene. I can understand treating them as a group; if you give them all three strikes, that’s over three thousand strikes. But they need more than three. But even with that, hanging that last strike over their head for over six months is unacceptable, and yes, I said it before and I’ll say it again, it is emotionally abusive to tell them that one more strike and they’re getting shut down for over six months. Never knowing who’s going to make the mistake that gets them shut down or when, and worrying about when someone messes up. Worrying that they’re going to be one that messes up and is blamed by the group. Terrified of reporting things because what if that report is the reason their community is shut down? 

More users came forward with grooming allegations, but these posts were frozen and hidden. However, the cat was out of bag, at least on the main forums. And in a retrospective thread on the 10th of November, a former YWP user spoke up about a similar situation that had happened the month before.

> They did this to the YWP too. When a message was sent outlining evidence of a predator it was ignored for 3 days (iirc) and initially responded with ‘we reviewed this account and found nothing that broke our rules’ only after it was posted publicly on the forums. They did take the account down, but only hours later (once we had made a major fuss with pretty much everyone who knew the situation calling the mods out) and with no further communication for two days, which sent us into a spiral of panic and teens leaving as they didn’t feel safe on the platform.

The following day, the COO responded to this post with:

> Hi there, I wanted to speak to this directly since it relates to a lot of the youth safety issues people are bringing up, and YWP has different systems. First off, we did indeed look into the participant that was flagged on YWP. [YWP lead] and [Director of Programs] discussed and investigated on Oct. 3; they responded on Oct. 4. Our search into their history and their other social media accounts did not find evidence that they were a predator or someone else than the person they claimed to be. We were wrong to say that nothing crossed the lines set by our codes of conduct, and we should have issued a reminder about those codes. However, no violation crossed the line that would require banning. We kept a close eye on this account following the reports and encouraged participants to follow their guts and keep a wide berth. After the account was suspended due to user flags, we agreed their account should not be reinstated.

> In the long term, we’re bringing in additional moderators in the YWP forums. Role plays occasionally skirt the codes around keeping it PG and partly in response to this situation we’re adding a volunteer mod next week who will just be monitoring role plays and the forum for personal conversations, where the majority of these flags came from. 

This response was immediately torn apart by the adults on the thread, while more members of the YWP started speaking out about what they had been dealing with for years. 

**The Wild West of the YWP.**

The YWP had two or three mods, which changed across the years due to differing roles. These were members of HQ, and now have all been fired or quit. These were: a Lead Forums Moderator who resigned in October 2023 and had stopped working with the YWP a while before that, a Community Manager who was put on leave at the beginning of November 2023, and the aforementioned YWP lead and Director of Programs who were either fired or quit in December 2023.

There are three parts to the YWP: the individual users, which are under 18, the classrooms, which are controlled by a teacher and are meant for educational settings, and the forums, which are open to users aged 13-18 whether they’re writing individually or as part of a classroom.

However, investigation revealed that the security of these classrooms are remarkably lax. It only required an email, username and password for an ‘educator’ to set up a classroom, and student accounts didn’t even need an email. Multiple YWP users confirmed that they had used this to gain access to private messages, as the classrooms have a PM feature while the forums did not. On top of this, it was confirmed by a moderator that classrooms are basically unmoderated:

> it's almost impossible to moderate these. There was a rash a few years back of the kids themselves making classrooms and the only way I could track them was to manually go through the admin panel and look for the most recent ones and click. They're almost entirely disconnected from the moderation tools and are completely unmoderated unless someone in one reports something. I actually gave up even trying to patrol the classrooms in any form because there's too many and the admin tools suck.

And on the forums themselves, it only got worse. The moderation often ignored its users, and when they intervened, the intervention often worsened the situation. This got to the point that in August 2022, a group of users held a [strike](https://speak-out.carrd.co/) against the moderation due to neglect and incompetence. However, the problems only continued to grow, and in December 2022, there was a incident of a user faking a disorder and, when called out on it, sending death threats. This user also made accounts in order to impersonate and harass users on the sites. It was not uncommon for users to run others off the site, which, justified or not, was often fueled by lack of mod intervention. 

This came to a head in October 2023, when a predator was found and the moderation response was once again inadequate. On the 1st of October, moderation was privately contacted  by a group of YWP users about a predator that had been on the forums for two years. After three days with no response and no action taken, the group took the information public and a mass flagging campaign began in order to gain the attention of the mods. And five hours after it began, a response was finally posted by the YWP lead:

> Ні,

Thanks for writing to us with your concerns, and for being so thorough keeping track of the places that made you uncomfortable.

> First of all, I want to say: good on you for following your gut. If you ever run into something online that makes you feel scared or worried or unsafe or just seems a little bit off, it's always okay to back away. Trust yourself, and don't do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, no matter who is asking you.

> The other moderators and I looked (and are continuing to look) more into this person, and from what we can tell, it seems like they are who they say they are. Nothing in their posts crosses the lines set by our Codes of Conduct (though they do come right up to the line sometimes). Like I said before, you can absolutely draw a boundary and not interact with them anymore. It just means we can't take any action on site besides marking their profile such that we pay extra attention to their posts, as well as the other account you flagged as a potential alt.

> If we notice anything in the future we can follow up on it more directly.

> Thank you for being so passionate and thorough about trying to make sure the YWP forums are a safe space, and let me know if you have any questions or want to talk anything through more.

This response was torn apart by the users, and 12 hours later people noticed that the threads the predator created had been taken down. However, there was no comment in the public moderation thread on the situation, and the users had no idea whether the account had been banned or not. This caused a mass panic, and several users pulled back or left the platform due to safety concerns. 

Early on the 6th of October, a user tried to goad the moderators into responding to the mess by posting a message to the mods in the official announcements forum, which was supposed to be mod-only:

> There is always an explosion of newbies in November, and you have children as young as 13 here. And your inaction is making the site dangerous. We are being forced to defend ourselves against something we should not be dealing with because you can't be bothered.

> This is more than inaction. This is dangerous incompetence. And don't respond to this with another 'we'll do better' apology, because they never last. I've seen this cycle too many times. Tell us that he's gone, that we don't have to worry about him, and tell us what you're doing to make sure this doesn't happen again. And stop forcing children to be the adults in your place.

However, this post remained up for around 12 hours. At that point, the moderation decided to close the forums for a week, giving the users only a day’s notice. And when they reopened, they threatened to make the forums for writing topics only. Although they walked this back due to user pressure and claimed it was due lack of staff, it came off to some users as a punishment for complaining. 

There were more incidents over the next month, and these were mentioned in the retrospective thread, which came as a complete shock to the adults, who had been told that a large part of the funding was going to the YWP. Some began to call for the moderators to resign:

> I sincerely hope they are all drafting their resignation letters. we won’t even give them grief this time for writing it together and recycling the same wording.

> they had their chance to listen to their users, to develop action plans and timeline and to publicly respond. they chose not to do that and knowingly let abuse and harm continue on their watches. both here and on ywp. 

> resign or get fired. either way this is no longer their house, they are being evicted.

**The Nanopocalypse.**

The Nanowrimo Board intervened in the evening of the 12th of the November, having been contacted by users in the retrospective thread. They immediately set the main forums to read only barring threads they made to discuss the many issues. However the YWP forums were not immediately closed, and so the users from the retrospective reported back on RTAE. 

Two hours after the main forums were closed, a YWP user received a message from the Director of Programs threatening to ban the user. Moments later this user and two others were temporarily banned from the forums. And the forums exploded on both sides. On the main forums:

> Do something for these YWP kids being banned for speaking up about their abuse.

And on the YWP: 

> no cause if you're so threatened by MINORS joking at your expense take a good long look in the mirror

The same user on commented on the main thread:

> Just so yall know, the ywp is honestly going to hell rn. People are getting banned, some of the people who talked to you yesterday got banned for saying enough. I got warnings for saying that adults shouldn’t be threatened by teens making jokes. It’s a really bad situation and a lot of people are stressed and overwhelmed

One user commented on how bad the YWP had gotten as follows: 

>FOR REAL !!! i joined when i was 16?? THE FIRST FUCKING THING I DID WAS MODERATE. i had to skip the classic nano ywp cringe newbie stage because i had to swoop into an argument that was obvious a moderator wasn’t going to ever deal with. and i did that for like the year and a half i was on nano. and like i don’t give a shit in the sense it doesn’t hold a candle to being 14 and moderating for three years straight but. the amount of power hierarchies the ywp has because of us who. play mod. it’s stressful and not fun and i would not wish it upon my worst enemies. this might be petty but? i’d pay real money that none of the staff team remembers me despite me doing their jobs since the moment i clicked create account

> i have not seen a single case of

someone getting fairly banned, nor of someone problematic and upsetting having consequences for their

actions. 

>nano is a weird place because a lot of shit happened offsite (ex; my connection to [redacted]. the nanoer who was lying and trauma dumping to me and some of my close friends. that all happened in “adult nano” dms. but we were open about it. and even with multiple call-out posts in places with chats that don’t bury posts often and theoretically ones mods should be checking? nothing was done.) but the guessing game on when mods finally arrive to a scene is awful. the brace for impact everyone collectively did when

someone finally showed up? was awful. these are teenagers. and when these teens can’t trust the moderators who’re supposed to be monitoring their website, who are they supposed to trust?

A few hours into the board thread, YWP users called out one of the accounts on the main forum for being a predator. The group confirmed that this person had been removed from the YWP but that they had been allowed to remain on the main site. Users confronted this account directly:

> correct me if i’m wrong (i’m not) but i do remember you being one of (if not the most) manipulative, spiteful, maliciously incompetent people i have ever encountered. do you, perchance, remember all the times you told that little 15 year old the sexual things you wanted to do to her? i remember. i remember everything you said. i might not be able to prove all of it but we know. we didn’t forget. playing dumb won’t save you now, boy.

> don’t you dare sit here and pretend this  was an okay thing for you to do. you got suspended but you’re still here talking aren’t you ?? it’s two years old we still have the very same predator (most people active in the lounge in the last year or two [in the ywp] knows you. no one who knows you likes you.) roaming the adult site. how is this not an issue that needs to be addressed?

The account was suspended a few days later. 

That night, the board confirmed that they were unaware that the YWP was a separate site, and the YWP forums were shut. With no read only mode on the YWP, it erupted into chaos. Users said their goodbyes, and some expressed their anger with the moderation for how they turned out. This led to the Director of Programs threatening to close the forums early, despite the users only having a few hours to say goodbye anyway. One user put it as simply as:

> me when my entire community of the last three years is being ripped away lol

And the last three posts?

> FUCK THE MODS FR

> im gonna miss this website so much. love you all and its not our fault this is happening, it’s the mods stay safe stay amazing and love you all, youre the best.

> Im so sorry the mods destroyed this. hate that we have to lose this beautiful thing because of them. I have one last

thing to say: 

>FUCK. THE. MODS.

> Imao

And with that, the weekend from hell was over. 

But the Nanopocalypse had barely begun.

**It wasn't just kids that were abused.**

The board threads went down a few rabbit holes, but it was a testimony on the 28th of November that started the next fire. This came from an ML, and spoke of a situation a decade before. 

> In 2012 (might have been 2011) I had an adult participant explain the explicit omegaverse erotica that she was writing to a 14 year old. She then left her laptop open to go and get a drink, with the instruction “i’m not telling you to read it, but I’m not not telling you that, and if I just leave my laptop open and you happen to see it, there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”

> The teenager approached me before NaNo the next year and told me about this. She said that it made her extremely uncomfortable and that the adult participant had spent a lot of time telling her how clever she (the teen) was, how she was more mature than other teens, and how other adults just didn’t understand. Which is all classic grooming. The teen asked if this person was going to be at events that year, because she didn’t want to see her again.

> I contacted HQ with this, and asked if they would back me up if I told this person that they were no longer welcome at our events.

> The response I got was that not only would they not back me up, I was not allowed to ban this person from our events because they had to be held in a public space and be open to anyone who wanted to come and write.

> the teenager never came to another in-person event.

> The adult in question came back, and that year groomed and sexually assaulted a 17-year-old who she met at our events. I didn’t learn about this until several months afterwards. I once again contacted HQ, and was told that I still couldn’t ask her to stay away from our region because the incident took place after our event and we weren’t allowed to ban people based on behaviour outside the scope of our events

>I then posed the question: If the abusive ex of one of our wrimos turned up at an event, with the apparent intent to write with us, could I ask them to leave?

> Once again the answer was no, unless there was evidence of a police report, or the ex became abusive during the event. It was heavily implied that the victim ought to leave if they were uncomfortable.

> I had no training in how to handle this kind of thing, and I received the opposite of support.

> Having heard stories from other MLs I am convinced that the only reason I was not removed from the position is that I chose not to fight them.

The ML spoke more about trainings regarding racism.

>It’s been videos (I think 2 were workshops, but they were only run in US timezones so the rest of us just had to watch the videos and read transcripts) which have so far been exclusively on a US-centric approach to race and racism. One of the first 2 was run by a white person with a… questionable background… And [Director of Community Engagement]’s response to that being raised as an issue boiled down to “we have some MLs who won’t listen if it’s a black person”. Honestly, if you can’t handle being taught about racial issues by a person of that race, maybe you shouldn’t be in a position of power? 

> We have the ML Agreement (which, until very recently, forbade MLs from criticising NaNoWriMo in any way. So recently that [Director of Community Engagement] used that clause to remove at least one ML in the last year without knowing/remembering that they took that out).

The discussion quickly pivoted to the treatment of MLs, and to the ML discord server. This was considered unofficial, but needed to get in touch with the Director of Community Engagement, who oversaw the MLs. The user who broke the news about Mod X gave a summary of the problems there:

> A ML was banned from the ML discord for suspicion of "leaking information shared in the ML discord with non-MLs". 

> I've seen the (frankly a bit baffling) accusation by MLs (both on and off the main discord) that I have ulterior motives in bringing light to the issues facing the NaNoWriMo organization, so I'll reiterate - again - that l'm only one of a very large group of users over multiple offsite platforms who have been documenting these issues.

> The only reason I'm fairly visible in this situation is because it was decided my twitter platform was the best chance to bring wider attention to the issues in a way HQ would listen to (since efforts here on the forums were being shut down, silenced or obfuscated). I want to note that it's extremely concerning that the default in the ML discord is to focus on "someone leaking information or sneaking into our server" rather than address the systemic problems that have led to so many MLs feeling like they need to seek outside help for their treatment by the ML community. Not to mention the harm of indulging that paranoia when energy would be better focused on strategies to address the crisis facing the NaNo community.

> The main ML discord has obtained a list of users on NaNoWriMo discord servers that allow open criticism of HQ, and is kicking any ML who appears on the member list of the dissenting servers.

However, it seems that only two MLs were kicked for being in a dissenting server.

The kicked ML explained:

> I was kicked out for supposedly sharing screenshots from the ML discord with other people. I only know this, because when I said "hey, I can't find the ml discord any more" another ML went 'holy shit, that was you?' and told me what was being said about me.

> They also told me that what I had supposedly done was not against the rules at the time. [server admin] changed the rules after she kicked me out for "breaking" them. 

There was another ML testimony that deserves its own section and we’ll get to in a second, but a response to it brought a new and horrifying light on the actions of the Director of Community Engagement.

> I’ve mentioned I was co-ML 2018, 2019, and 2020. My region had no ML for 2021 because my previous co-ML and I protested how [Director of Community Engagement] treated me.

> So. I am autistic as fuck. I am also physically disabled, and legally blind. We were promised access to the new 2019 forums months before NaNo, since we were MLs.

> I got access two weeks before NaNo.

> Two weeks, for my blind, autistic ass to figure out these very non-intuitive forums before time to kick things off.

> Clearly, this was not really a possibility for me. Because, again, autistic and blind.

> So my co-ML and I decided that I would handle all the online-but-offsite things (Facebook and the discord server I’d set up the year before) while he handled in-person and on-site things. This worked out great for us; our region was well taken care of between the two of us.

> I put so much love and care into my region’s discord server when I created it in 2018 (I had unexpectedly moved a few hours from my region in October, so the three of us co-MLs for that year worked out together what I would do to still hold my end of things up). I was cheering people on on the daily, running daily virtual write-ins for anyone who wanted to pop in and write with me. Any time my co-ML had a physical write-in, I scheduled a virtual one for the same time for anyone who couldn’t go in person

for whatever reason, and a co-ML would connect on their device so that the in-person and the virtual participants could talk to each other before time to write. For the 16th, I scheduled a full 24 hours virtual write-in that people could pop in and out of as they wanted to try to double up their word counts (I ran it the full 24 hours myself and then went to bed afterwards). I was even able to run some of the virtual write-ins from the hospital. I had so many people thank me for it, because they lived too far to make it in person easily, or they worked nights, or they were disabled, or they were immunocompromised so couldn’t go in person.

> Since that worked so well, I also did it for 2019, except even more because I loved my region and I love my people. I love cheering people on. I love helping them figure out a sticky problem in their project. I love just celebrating that they wrote, whether they wrote a full 50k or not, they tried this impossible thing and they did their best and that’s what NaNo is about. I worked my ass off in 2019 to make up for the fact that I couldn’t deal with the new site. Because, once again, I am autistic and blind.

> But also, before I move on to 2020, let’s talk about some of the gaslighting bullshit that HQ fed us. And yes, it was gaslighting I do not use that term lightly.

There was no validator. We were promised there would be a validator. We tell our regions “don’t worry, we’ve been promised there’ll be a validator, it should be ready in a few days”. Then HQ says “oh, sorry, it’ll be a little longer, you’ll have it by the end of the month, though, we super promise”. So we tell our regions, “sorry, it’s not going to be a couple days but they promise we’ll have it by the end of the month”. HQ was still telling us to tell our regions that the validator would be there by the end of the month even after HQ had decided there would be no fucking validator, not even by the end of the month, just never. When we were like “the fuck??? why would you tell us this, then???” we were told that we had just misunderstood what they meant. Gaslighting. That is actual fucking gaslighting.

> So now let’s go to 2020. Two successful years running my Region’s discord - and we added a Whole [country] discord, too! Go us!!!

> I re-apply to co-ML again. Don’t hear anything, assume that I didn’t hear anything because I was approved. In May, Sarah posts in the ML Facebook that if we re-applied and didn’t get an email from her to email her and let her know. So I emailed her. She had forgotten to email me. She had set my application aside because was I sure I could be a good ML since I had barely posted to the site in 2019. The year that the entire site changed and my blind autistic ass could not navigate it. I explained the situation, that I hadn’t been able to navigate the site so my co-ML and I had divvied things up so that I could run all the online-but-offsite things, etc. I told her about the region Discord and all the virtual write-ins.

> [Director of Community Engagement] says that all my efforts the previous years don’t count because it’s not on the site. That off-site can’t be moderated so it’s really discouraged that regions have anything online but offsite. She emailed my co-ML to tell them that she’d find a co-ML that could support them better. My co-ML responded along the lines

of “if you take [ML] away from me, I fucking quit”. So [Director of Community Engagement] tells them that I’m on probation but not to let me know. Which. They did anyway because they’re also one of my best friends and platonic life partners.

> I’m fine now, it’s been three years, I can deal. But when I say that being told that everything I’d set up didn’t count, that broke me. I had worked so hard, literally from the fucking hospital, to be told that it didn’t count. That the thing that I had set up as an accommodation for disabled or immunocompromised didn’t count. 

> We MLed for 2020, because we finish our commitments. When 2021 rolled around and no one volunteered to ML, I still took care of my region. I still ran the discord, I still ran the virtual events, I still answered their questions and cheered them on. Because I’m not going to leave my people out to dry even if the person in charge doesn’t care.

> So. That was 2019 and the early parts of 2020. And it’s why I will never ML again while [Director of Community Engagement] is in charge.

> When I volunteered as a moderator, it’s because I genuinely wanted to help the community that I care so

much about. But I volunteered under [Community Manager]. [Community Manager] wasn’t perfect, but [Community Manager] cared. Whatever her

failings, she fucking cared about us. I told [Community Manager] when I disagreed with her, but I did it to her face and I tried to be kind. (Not necessarily nice, but kind. Because kind will tell you when you’re fucking up. Nice will not.)

> Right before NaNo started, I was no longer helping [Community Manager], I was now having to answer to [Director of Community Engagement]. So maybe I was more reactive than I would have been had [Director of Community Engagement] not broken me three years ago. Because of that, I tried to temper my reactions more, to make sure that I was reacting to the actual thing and not to who was saying it.

I have had it confirmed since I quit that [Director of Community Engagement] saw me as a problem and was trying to make me quit. And, well, she succeeded. Because I did quit when [Director of Community Engagement] said that mods would now be silencing any criticism of HQ.

> I love this community, or I would have left in 2020. I love the people, and I love the spirit of NaNo. I love that the spirit of NaNo lives in all of us, that we all have this little flame inside all of us that’s part of the bigger fire. I love that we come together to cheer each other on, and help each other when we’re stuck.

> But fuck the way MLs like me were treated. If I was treated this way, I bet there are others.

As of writing this, the Director of Community Engagement is still in her position and still oversees MLs.

So the MLs had to tolerate ableism and racism to do their jobs. And it only got worse. Let’s go back to that other testimony, which revealed:

**That time HQ made a game with a terrorist in it.**

Yep. 

> In 2017 the staff decided to roll out an in-office game they had apparently played amongst themselves to the wider public.

> This game was a treasure hunt type activity, where one had to stop a terrorist called Ivan the Icy from blowing up NaNo and the world.

> This hunt included a now removed video of a very convincingly dressed man monologue at the camera about how he was going to bomb NaNo. So convincing in fact it took very long into the video before signs of it being fake emerged.

> Several faked emails sent to you, in that same vein that eventually led to a hidden page on the site where you had to disarm a bomb. Failing to do so would make it explode. Granted, upon exploding it filled your screen with penguins, but until then it was far too realistic.

> This was not communicated to MLs prior to sending out. Nothing had been mentioned. If it had we could have told them why this was a bad idea. The game might work in office where everyone knows each other’s sensitivities and humour (although even then one can wonder why this topic), but on a global scale this is tone deaf at best.

> MLs were the ones who raised the alarm and contacted HQ as quickly as we noticed. We had to explain in detail the potential ramifications, after which action was taken. We then helped NaNo cover this up.

> Note that at this point we had already lost so much faith in HQ that we were actively brainstorming how we could potentially flag it to youtube and facebook to get the video taken down if HQ would not respond to us as they often didn’t.

> To explain just how tone deaf this game was. The very convincing video was posted (not used) on 9/11. This was the year after the bombing in Brussels during NaNo. Two years after the bombing and shootings in Paris that had the Parisian Wrimos stuck in a write-in near the bomb site and active shooters for hours. And the same year a bomb had been detonated in the Manchester arena.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, a user who was on the YWP at the time confirmed that there was a YWP element:

> I didn’t find out that this came up in conversation yesterday until today but I feel like I need to add that the YWP had a dedicated forum thread to Ivan the Icy and was encouraged to participate and solve the terrorism scavenger hunt

> Yeah the terrorism scavenger hunt was a whole thing. I couldn’t even solve it because it was so heavily locked behind Facebook so I didn’t find out the full implications until the “apology” was sent out, but we on the YWP had an entire forum thread created by the mods (I want to say [YWP lead]) dedicated to solving it

So. That was a thing. Moving on.

**The board drank HQ’s kool-aid.**

The board was originally relatively helpful when they first intervened, but things soon took a turn. They took a break over American Thanksgiving [20th-26th November], and the responses soured following the break. The first clue of this was their defensive attitude towards the Executive Director’s $128K salary, when users figured out that since Nanowrimo ran a ‘salary first, operating budget second’ model, the operating budget was around $88K.

However, it was a comment about what Nanowrimo meant to the board member replying that started the anti-board attitude:

> Until two weeks ago, I had never used the forums; they just aren’t my thing. I mention all of this to say that not everybody who is part of this community hinges their experience, sense of belonging, or sense of value for NaNoWriMo on the forums. Part of my love for/experience of NaNo was doing a weekend writing retreat every November. I have very fond memories of these the years I did them. NaNo takes different forms for different people.

And when questioned about how this came across from an economic perspective, the elaboration was as follows:

> I am going on a writing retreat this weekend with my regular crew. It involves renting an AirBnB and each of us paying $200-$300 plus preparing one meal during the course of the weekend.

The fact that the first thing given as what nano meant to the board was a $200 writing retreat came off as inconsiderate in part due to reasons I’ll discuss later. 

The next red flag was a reply in response to the idea having staff credentials in their account bios:

> Frankly, this isn’t a huge priority given that we’re asking staff to focus on other issues and since it’s pretty easy to look people up on LinkedIn. In a previous thread, someone posted the LinkedIn profiles of staffers.

> Again, we don’t view ourselves as concealing this information. Our staff bios are pretty standard and this information is available online.

However, users quickly pointed out that since the board member used their pen name, they couldn’t find their LinkedIn.

A few comments in a question and answer thread were also received poorly:

> The Board recognizes that people want answers now. After all, THEY ARE SHOUTING AT US IN ALL CAPS.

> We get that people ARE UPSET but we can’t do much about unrealistic expectations.

However, it was one of their last responses that really cemented their downfall:

> That is not what [other user] said. Please answer the actual question that was asked.

> And get better at reading comprehension, christ.

> Thank you for proving why the forums are so hard to moderate and for giving the Board reason to consider that we might never be able to make them safe. Because how can anybody feel safe when confronted with vicious sarcasm after committing the utterly human fallibility of misreading?

The board stopped responding that weekend and closed the remaining threads on the 4th of December.

Well. Almost all of them. A few hours later users noticed that the ‘about the Nanowrimo board category’ thread wasn’t locked. Users scrambled to post a final goodbye to the forums in a similar manner to the YWP shutdown a few weeks before.

> It has been an honour being in the trenches with so many of you. I’m sorry that it’s coming down to this, but here is where we are.

> So many of us did not deserve the way we were treated. So many of us were failed by a staff that should have done better.

> And I will never NOT be angry that protecting [Mod X] was more important than protecting children.

And with the battlefield closed, everyone retreated to their discords to discuss.

**The donation begging.**

Despite making between $1-$2 million a year, Nanowrimo always seemed desperate for more money. The first sign of this was the aforementioned Inkitt donor situation, but the second was ‘double-up donation weekend’, where donors got twice as much goodies for donating. This was during the 4th and 5th of November, and while the actual number of emails sent is disputed, one user simply said:

> too fucking many

However it was probably between 8-11. Over two days. And people have alleged that they sent more in other days.

Graphics from a recent presentation also revealed that they were trying to solicit donations from people in poverty. The graphic said to donate less if

> * Love NaNoWriMo and want to support us alongside 8,000 annual community donors!

> * Have little to no savings

> * Work more than one job to meet your basic needs

> * Have dependents (children, elderly loved ones, household partners, neighbors, etc.)

Another graphic suggested that people making $12K a year should donate $300 a year.

However, it was revealed after the forums were shut that Nanowrimo had been soliciting donations from users of the YWP since 2016, and that it had been a regular thing since 2018. And only once did they add a disclaimer:

> P.S. Today is #Giving Tuesday, and this year NaNoWriMo has received a $20,000 matching donation. So if you know someone who might want to support our organization, encourage them to donate today and double their impact!

The emails did in fact link to the Nanowrimo store.

**And then the memes attacked.**

When the forums were shut on December 4th, the some regional forums ran by MLs were allowed to remain. However, around the 11th of December, a lifeboat group received intel that the regional forums were soon to close. The day following, there was a rush of posts in the regional forums from members of this group alerting regional members of this. There were also allegations that the Director of Community Engagement had her own reasons for shutting the forums down.

> The decision to close the regional forums over the holidays was indisputably an "oh fuck" maneuver. It was NOT to shield MLs from emergency situations that they wouldn't be able to handle in Sarah's absence. It was NOT out of concern for the MLs.

> And I have proof.

> On November 30th, [Director of Community Engagement] reached out to the MLs who had chosen to keep their forums open. She asked if we still wanted to keep them open. **And she presented us with the following additional options:**

> * 1) Set it to "only MLs can start threads"

> * **2) Set it to "only MLs can post" (i.e. use it only for announcements or record keeping)**

> * 3) Set some or all existing open threads to "slow mode" so they can't be posted in as frequently

> * 4) Close some or all of the existing open threads

> **Option 2 would have eliminated this concern entirely.** My region is set to Announcements-only right now. No one else can post there. So, unless the MLs themselves were the concern, there would have been no need to close the forums *entirely*. 

> Except... some MLs *are* giving HQ the migraine of their lives. **They need to silence ALL dissident voices, including those of MLs.**

> Hopefully you can view the form [Director of Community Engagement] sent MLs on November 30th here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdTbrRNrhfFV6HoXVUMWghomicP7xzvqWdLxC-R6cJ7Q8pfFA/viewform

And one member put it as:

> At this point I'm so confused, but what I see is HQ continuing to fuck up.

On the eve of the 15th of December, as the regional forums were taken down, the group discovered a thread on a regional forum, dedicated to memes about the Nanowrimo challenge. They flooded it with anti-HQ memes, in a last middle finger to HQ. A large amount of the memes consisted of promotional pictures of staff with humorous captions, such as The Good Place quote ‘I took the form of a 45 year old white man for a reason. I can only fail up.’, with the Executive Director photoshopped on. However, there was one that was purely text, from a YWP member: 

> she nano on my wrimo till i shut down the forums

As the memes winded down, users settled in for a night of watching the forums go down. It was a long night, with users posting haikus to pass the time.

> Just a reminder

> The forums will shut down soon

> Save the threads you want 

>Save the threads. You want 

> Community, but darkness  

>Prevails. Just for now.

However, some forums were never closed and are still open to this day.

**The smouldering remains.**

The entire YWP staff has gone, as has the social media manager. The Executive Director has been ‘demoted’ to Financial Stewardship Director. The current Executive Director is the board member that works under a pen name.

Nanowrimo has yet to reopen the forums, and besides disabling the ability to self-identify as an educator on the YWP, have yet to implement any of the changes that they promised. 

More information can be found at r/nanowrimo, which is an unofficial Nano group without staff involvement. 

#nanowrimo controversy #antinanowrimo #nano #nanopocalypse #nanowrimo #so fuck nanowrimo #Fuck this got long #Hobby drama

[rewritingrosie]

writers discord invitation 💌

we’re nearly 90 members now, and you're invited :)

⚠︎ click to accept! 17+ only!

discord server link

hello! I don't know if any of my writer friends on here might be interested, but I run a creatives ( reading, writing, gaming, cover makers, artists, etc ) server and starting January, we’re hosting a jano wrimo event! — for all of those who also missed nano!

we hold writing sprints, weekly vc’s, and a fairly active chat, with lots of aesthetic roles and emojis to choose from!

our staff is genuine, and involved, from marketing all the way up to event planning.

we have professional and debuting authors, and aspiring writers who are just now starting out – so experience is never an issue!

for 18+ crew, we do have a private channel where you can discuss more mature topics - so don't let that be a concern!

we’re so excited to have you here! :)

please reblog, heart, and send to your friends who may be interested < 3

#writing discord #writerblr #writblr #writers of tumblr #writing server #fantasy writers #write-it-motherfuckers #original writers #writing community #wattpad #romance #fanfic writers #writing a book #writing wip #wanted plots

[artfightdramaconfessions]

I don't know how AF staff think they can do forums on site well when larger organizations with better structure and organization (like nanowrimo) have had to lock down theirs from things that happened. AF has so many users, so few mods in comparison (+ mods like airr were allowed in no problem), and already the discord server can be a drama-filled mess if you're on at the wrong time of day or year. I don't super think forums is what art fight needs to better itself with.

I'm not going to 100% say I'm not concerned about younger users ending up in bad situations in there, in light of how things went with nano too. People in the AF discord, bless their hearts, can be so fast to run into DMs before knowing much about a person at all, just after talking to them in the AF server for a couple of minutes. I don't know if forums would make that better or worse, but art fight doesn't seem super organized (maybe it's because of all the admin inside jokes in the discord, or the worm how do you do fellow kids stuff, or the complete turnaround of certain things like the winter surprise not happening so merch launches to tape that all over, or the self-infantilization present in some of their social media memes that gives me that impression). I don't believe they're any better equipped to handle really large serious forum issues than nanowrimo was (and AF doesn't even have a board of directors to step in and take over) if one were to happen.

Obviously I'm not saying something *is* going to happen super serious if AF gets forums, but if it does, I don't think they have the organization or maturity to handle it real well.

.

#submission #art fight #artfight #artfight2024

[thealphavoidofficial]

So decided to share some Lore about my main Oc, Void:

So basic backstory:

They are one of the creations of the Creator before Sun and Moon, however unlike the past attempts the Creator used Void as more of an experiment, using a power Core composed of Anti-matter (what a WitherStorm is made of) and implanting it into the bots chest as a power source, and of course these had certain effects, such as making them partly organic, such as resulting in them having a fully organic rib cage, a tongue and saliva, and with some nano-machines, an artificial stomach able to process any and all Materials.

When Void first activated they were put into the care of their handler, Cathryn, a young women who had only recently started working at the Pizzaplex. Void was assigned to the Daycare theatre and left to adapt.

Cathryn showed them all the ropes, and soon Void caught on to the routine and was soon doing their job like it was already programmed into their code. Soon they grew so fond of Cathryn they had registered them as ‘Mother’, which she did not mind in the slightest.

Although, once Void has properly assimilated into their Job at the Theatre entertaining the kids, the Creator put his real plan into action. While Void and Cathryn were preparing for the next rush if kids the Creator activated a dormant administration code inside of Void, cause them to become a brain dead robot, Cathryn walked over to see what was wrong, and with just a click of a button on the Creators end, Cathryn was dead by Voids hands. And once Void came to they were horrified to have seen what they had done, looking at their bloodied hands in shock and horror.

Security soon rushed in and shut them down, soon awakening again in parts and services where they were violently dismantled and used for parts while still active, after the many hours of agony they were dumped into an alleyway and left to die. Void unfortunately died on that stormy night, however a relatively large size changing Water Dragon animatronic, named Angler, had found them and taken them into a secret factory sized room hidden in the maintenance tunnels of the pizzaplex, where he had been taking in and hiding all the discarded and scrapped animatronics thrown out by the Pizzaplex, and Void was brought back to life from a strong infusion of Nano-machines.

Void soon settled in with their now adoptive father and siblings, however still lived in fear of being controlled again.

One day they went to far with their anxiety and snuck into parts and services while the Staff were on break, and used the computer to enter their own systems and forcefully delete any access codes the creator put in them along with their factory reset, this resulted in their code becoming highly unstable, resulting in their Ai becoming corrupted, all safety protocols off and gone.

When Void returned Angler immediately knew what they had done, and he also knew that damage like this could never be fixed, but he supported them and did his best to comfort them the best he could, but one thing he couldn’t stop was Voids newfound hatred and bloodlust towards humans.

Fun facts:

- before Voids system corruption their eyes actually used to be green.

- Void hates all humans but tolerates curtain humans that have gotten on their good side………and children.

- the purple eyes mean they are either hunting, or have completely lost it and you need to run.

- the oval shaped power core in their chest is not only able to store a copy of their memories and personality, but also acts as a 3rd eye.

- their power core is made of the same stuff that Witherstorms are made of.

- like Sun and Moon, Voids nanites can regenerate them, but at a more advanced and quicker pace

- they CAN and WILL Eat anything.

- they can sprout 4 or more barbed black tendrils from their back if they want to.

- at some point they found out they can digitise their physical form and control technology

- they have a secondary jaw that can move independently like an eel

#sun and moon show #tsams oc #Sun and moon show oc #dca oc #Void #Lore

[nanowrimo]

🚨 Project for Awesome Submissions Now Open! 🚨

Do you like NaNoWriMo? Here’s an easy way you can help support our non-profit!

Project for Awesome is an annual fundraiser where people make videos supporting organizations they love and vote on their favorite videos. The organizations with the most votes get a significant grant to help them continue their programs!

Video submissions are open from now until 11:59 am EST on Wednesday, February 15th. To submit, all you have to do is film a short (~2 minute) video about why you love NaNoWriMo, upload it as a public video to your YouTube channel, and submit the URL here: https://www.projectforawesome.com/submit

Videos don’t have to be fancy; You can just grab your phone, computer, or whatever you have at hand to record. Have questions? Check out the P4A about page and FAQ!

If you want to take a look at past NaNoWriMo P4A videos, you can see them all here.

#nanowrimo #writing #writing support #project for awesome #P4A #by nano staff #announcement

[mosylufanfic]

By Any Other Name

Because I’m basically obligated to do a rock star AU at some point, right?

Send me a prompt for Nano!

By Any Other Name

Jyn liked this time of day in the Kyber, the grubby little bar she co-owned with her best friend. Early afternoon was a dip where the hardcore drinkers and the lunch crowd had all cleared out or been cut off, and the after-work crowd wasn't in yet. She used the time to catch up on paperwork and put on her favorite music. 

"You like this song?"

The voice came from the end of the bar, where their one customer of the moment was drinking a draft beer and scribbling on what looked like staff paper. A starving songwriter, she concluded, a dime a dozen in LA. 

"It's all right," she said, because it had only taken her the first shift as a bartender to realize that some guys would take a statement as innocuous as "this is my favorite song right now" and translate it to "please, take my body at your earliest convenience."

"It's just, you're singing along."

Had she been? Damn. Bodhi referred to her singing voice as the unholy love child of a rusty gate and a cat in heat. "Sorry."

He laughed. "No, it's fine." He had a nice smile, wide and bright, with dimples. Cute.

Also a dime a dozen in LA.

She shrugged and hit the buttons on her laptop to save her most current schedule. "It's catchy," she said. "I guess I do sing along when it comes on the radio."

The song ended and another began, with no deejays jabbering in between. And it was the next song on the artist's newest album. 

He raised a brow.

"Fine! The whole album's on my favorite playlist at the moment. It's good. All right? That what you wanted to know?"

He lifted both hands in a peaceable gesture, laughing again. "I’m not trying to interrogate you. That's just my favorite song from the album. The one you were singing along to."

“Yeah? Even though it's not the one that's the big hit or whatever?”

"That one's good too," he acknowledged. "But 'Built on Hope' is just - I like it better."

"Yeah."

He held out a hand. "Joreth."

She shook it briefly. "Liana," she said, giving him the name she went by behind the bar, to deter creepers and scammers. 

"Liana, that's pretty. What is that, a flower?"

"It's a sort of vine," she said - also her usual answer. "A strangling vine. It kills trees."

He laughed. "Killed any trees today?"

"Sadly, no, but the day is young."

At the other end of the bar, Bodhi cleared his throat, loudly. She glanced at him, saw he was doing the bottle count, and figured he'd just had a frog in his throat. 

"He's playing tonight, you know," Joreth said, pointing upward at the speaker. "Cassian Andor."

"Yeah, I heard. I've got to work. Plus tickets are an arm and a leg."

"Surely no more than a hand."

She grinned. "Whatever body part I'd have to give up, it'd be too much. Anyway, those big stadium shows aren't for me. All lights and screaming and shit." She shuddered. "Gives me a migraine."

He tipped his beer toward her. "I'm with you there. He's got another one tomorrow. An acoustic set at a little club."

That was more her speed. But she eyed him suspiciously. "What are you, his manager?"

He laughed again. The way his eyes crinkled was not something you often saw in LA, where wrinkles were the horror of half the town and the bane of the other half. "Something like that," he said. 

Bodhi cleared his throat again, louder. 

"Spit or swallow, Bodes," she called out to him, and turned back to the guy at the bar. "Well, if I'd known, maybe I would have scrounged up whatever favors I needed to go. But it's probably too late now."

“You never know.”

The door opened and a tall skinny man in a suit that cost more than her car came in. 

"ID," Jyn said automatically.

He eyed her. "I assure you I am of age, and anyway, I'm not here to imbibe." He marched up to Joreth. "You," he said balefully.

"Hi, Kay," Joreth said.

"You are late."

"I told you I was going to work on songs today."

"I thought you meant in your hotel room like a reasonable human being, not in some grimy dive bar."

"Hey," Bodhi and Jyn said in concert.

"It's not grimy," Joreth said. "It's very nice. Good beer." He drank the last of it and set his pint glass down.

Bodhi, who was in charge of ordering, looked mollified. Jyn narrowed her eyes at Kay.

Kay ignored her. "Come along."

"Hang on." Joreth swiped a line across the middle of his sheet music, wrote a quick string of notes, and a phrase, and then folded the papers into a leather portfolio and got up. "See you around," he said to Jyn, and left with his - friend? Minder? Captor?

Bodhi sidled up. "Do you remember," he said, "how as your lifelong best friend, I'm contractually obligated to let you know when you're being a human disaster?"

"What was disastrous about that?" Jyn asked, opening up her schedule, then remembering she'd finished it. Although if Shara couldn't get babysitting again - "We were talking about music."

"You were talking about Cassian Andor."

"Is this a don't-talk-about-dudes-with-other-dudes thing? Because if bringing up a pop star is a violation, that's awfully damn fragile."

Bodhi threw his hands in the air. "You were talking about Cassian Andor with Cassian Andor!"

"What?"

"And he was into you!"

"His name was Joreth,” she mumbled, still stuck on talking about Cassian Andor with Cassian Andor.

"Sure," Bodhi said. "And yours is Liana."

"But he - " She waved her hand in front of her face. "He had a beard. And a ball cap."

"Right, right, yeah, I forgot. Multi-platinum pop stars are physically incapable of growing facial hair, and putting on a ball cap when they might not want to be recognized."

She goggled into the near distance. "Oh my god, I'm a disaster."

"Well, I tried," Bodhi said.

She shoved him. "By coughing? What happened to sending me a text?"

"Your phone's dead. Again."

She picked it up and found it dark. "Oh, yeah."

He shook his head. "Seriously, there's no helping you."

The bar phone rang and Jyn reached for it. "The Kyber."

"May I speak to Liana?"

"Speaking."

"I represent Cassian Andor. He'd like to invite you to be his special guest at Club Yavin tomorrow night."

Jyn hung up.

"Scammer?" Bodhi said.

The phone rang again. "I assume we got disconnected," the person on other end said disdainfully. Now she could identify the voice of the tall skinny guy. "As I was saying, Cassian Andor would like you to join - "

"Yes, I heard you the first time," she said. "Is this a joke?"

"No joke, I assure you," said the rather bored voice. "Cassian is presently sitting across from me in the limo, making faces and gesturing wildly - "

"Kay!" said a strangled voice. 

"It is very distracting. Are you coming or not? If you leave him in suspense, he might have an aneurysm, and he has to play a show in five hours."

A groan loud enough for the phone to pick it up.

"Let me talk to him," Jyn said. 

"I am capable of giving you all the information you need - "

"Cassian," she snapped. "Now."

A minor scuffle, and then the voice of Joreth - no, Cassian - came over the line. "Hi."

"This how you get your jollies?" she demanded. "By picking up strange women in bars who don't recognize you?"

"It helped," he said. "Liana, I - "

"Jyn," she said. "It's Jyn."

"Jyn," he said. "And I'm Cassian."

"Yeah. Yeah, I figured that out."

"Well, what do you think? I'll send a car so you don't have to fight traffic, and we can get dinner after. Or drinks - or - "

She pursed her lips. "I dunno. It's been a long time since I went and saw a guy play guitar in a club. I might have something else to do."

Bodhi grabbed the phone. "She's coming. You can pick her up here. What time? Great. She'll be ready." He hung up. 

She punched him. "Bodes!"

"That was no time to play it cool, Jyn. You have a date with Cassian Andor, and he's totally into you." He looked thoughtful. "Also, pop star or not, he might be as much of a human disaster as you are."

FINIS

#Cassian Andor #Jyn Erso #rebelcaptain #mosylufanfic lives up to her damn name #NaNo stories #rock star AU #star wars

[lonesurvivorao3]

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.

LoneSurvivor/My Gorram Ship on Ao3

37 year old AuDHD Microbiology undergrad (due to graduate this year), residing in England and attempting to raise three daughters single handledly.

I like to use my knowledge of science and random past hyper focuses to either twist Mass Effect canon or completely smash it, depending on my mood.

Current WIP: ME3 and beyond, in which my most monstrous headcanon plays a huge role. Oh, and Shenko have a baby.

Since the accidental discovery of Deinococcus radiodurans forming a symbiotic relationship with the eezo deep in the mines of Omega, Project Lazarus grew in scope. First, it negated the need for an implant or an amp, infusing each cell with biotic power.

But it could do so much more, and without imagination, intelligence was useless. Fortunately, Lawson’s father designed her with an abundance of both, so the swarming mass she called a nano-assembly inspired rather than intimidated.

She manufactured a considerable amount of stock to stimulate evolutionary change via parasitism and symbiosis, two cornerstones of evolutionary change. It incorporated more and more of the subject’s DNA with each generation, failing more than she succeeded. But no matter; that was to be expected, and each attempt provided more insight.

The Illusive Man’s primary objective for this project was to create something that could repair and regenerate itself both upon immediate, minor injury and some hours later in the event of catastrophic injury. Something that could, in theory, survive the vacuum of space if it should happen again.

After completing the retinal scan, the door opened. Her heels clacked as she crossed the room and removed the tray of cell cultures from the incubator, placing them under the microscope. This part she worked on alone, long after the multi-level lab fell quiet and no longer bustled with the staff of Project Lazarus. Because her boss was slowly losing the ability to listen to reason, this part must remain secret.

Intelligent enough to fear her creation, the most crucial aspect of this, for Lawson, involved the subject being immune to indoctrination, which meant including just enough fragments of Reaper code scattered along the DNA to ensure that any artefact, or any other horror they had not yet discovered, would recognise the subject as self.

Her hands trembled as she re-checked the data not once, not twice, but thrice, before asking EDI to check again, then became engrossed in reviewing the most recent data from the wake-up cycles of the subject, scrutinising for any indications of neurological deterioration. There were none, which led her to the next task - producing the thick, metallic fluid.

"I’m sorry, Shepard," she murmured, taken aback as she realised it was the first time she had addressed the subject by name. She then proceeded to load the substance into the nano syringes.

#mass effect fanfic #mass effect fanfiction #femshep #canon divergence #kaidan alenko #angst #mass effect #shenko

[dtstat]

more old model reupload

The SR-12 “Glasseye” is a security robot developed by Volker corporation to deal with high level synthetic and biological threats. Compared to Bio synthetics the CNT-muscle fiber system used is inflexible and primitive. While it has more single engagement durability it requires maintenance after sustaining damage. It is also much less resource intensive to produce than regenerative vitality systems used by Bio-synthetics. To offset this the SR-12s are equipped with level VII Ballistic and heat weapon soft armor with Bio-ceramic nano tube plates for protection against particle weapons.

The SR-12 also uses an advanced exotic spectrum vision capable of spotting IR, X-RAY, and light Invisible targets through ion trail tracking. Unlike Semi-synthetics or Bio-synthetics fully mechanical robots no matter how intricate are generally less liked by human staff as they display no dynamic intelligence and are built for purpose.

#3d #3d art #lowpoly #robot #security #volker #sr-12

[dragon-swords-prophecies]

Writeblr Re-Intro, 4th Edition

Hi! I'm copper or dragon or whatever else you wanna call me. Minor, he/him preferred but they/them also works. My main is @copper-dragon-in-disguise. I'm queer & neurodivergent.

Asks and messages welcome! I might take a while to respond to them but I like them. I mostly write fantasy, and my current main WIP is a steampunk fantasy murder mystery called Herald At Dawn. I also have a few back burner WIPs, which are all below the cut. (also, these all have taglists, if you're interested i can add you to them!)

Post subject to updates at any time.

My WIPs:

Herald At Dawn (#wip: herald at dawn)

Synopsis: 11 years ago a woman named Marisol Ekker was murdered by the wife of her son's father, Evelyn Belmont. Despite evidence to the contrary, Evelyn Belmont was acquitted, and faced no punishment. Nearly a decade later, investigative reporter Alexandrina McLelland approached Marisol Ekker's son, Nathaniel--who was 12 at the time of her death--, to write an article about the corruption present in the case. Shortly after the article is published a string of murders begins, with no seeming rhyme or reason to connect the victims. But the timing seem suspect, and as the fallout of the articles publishing hits Nathaniel, more and more people keep dying, until the killer targets somebody much closer to home than Alex would've ever guessed.

Herald At Dawn was originally done for NaNo 2023 (I did a half nano, 25k not 50k), and its a steampunk murder mystery with a dash of fantasy. Set in a city called Volimere, it tells the story of the staff of a newspaper called The Clockwork Herald, and their adventures with a murder. The main POV character is Alexandrina McLelland (she/her), an investigative reporter. It's gay as fuck and also the first in what I intend to be a series!

Backburner WIPs:

Some context: The first three are all inspired by dnd characters/campaigns, and are in the same world/universe. The fourth is also in the same universe & dnd inspired, but it doesn't have a specific character attached to it.

Frost & Fire (#wip: frost & fire)

Synoposis: The death of an ancient primordial dragon brings the greatest (if not that well known) adventurers of the last centuries together. Enna Helder-Kromlin, half-Elf thief and contractor for the crown of Halmond, along with her sister, Anne, leader of the thieves guild Oleski. Anastrannia & Redari Galendel, twin half-Frost Dragon, half-Elves, one a shadow ranger and one a shadow sorcerer. They must work together, if not get along, to stop a evil dragon named Dizerdrat from trying to claim the power released by the death for himself, because if he does his could conquer the world—and would.

Frost & Fire is my original WIP, and I need to rework the plot a lot, but I still quite like it. Its about two twin half-elves named Anne (she/they) and Enna (any pronouns) Helder-Kromlin , and their efforts to stop a dragon from using magic (that he got from killing another, different dragon who was as old as time, pretty much) to conquer the world (this one particular continent, but despite the fact that they're spectacularly well traveled for half-elf orphans neither of them have ever actually left the continent, so its the world to them). Along the way they meet Anastrannia (she/they/ze) and Redari (they/he) Galendel, two siblings who have a lot of secrets and know a suspicious amount about dragons. This has a wip intro, though it isn't super current, but I'm linking it anyway.

One of Copper (#wip: one of copper)

Synopsis: The current god of death, Illa, came to power during a war between the gods a thousand years ago. A wizard is now trying to start another one, aiming to kill a god and take their place. Illa does not want to see another celestial war. She has no direct influence on the mortal plane, however, and so she outsources the quest to a ragtag group of heroes, when the original group of heroes sends back a memo saying that they're retired, and she can come down herself and make them go herself if she's so insistent.

One of Copper is about a bard named Kairon (he/they) and his friends, Ash (she/her, 60-something blacksmith), Joshua (he/him, quarter-elf fighter with minor nature magic and a massive crush), and Elas (they/them, elf sorcerer who is mildly (read: Very) cursed) & their adventures. Originally this was gonna be high fantasy, then it was gonna be lighthearted high fantasy, and now its gone in the exact opposite direction into high fantasy except much sadder than the original. Its about Death trying to stop a war between the gods that a wizard is trying to start, because the wizard wants to become one. (the goddess of death is called Illa. she's inspired by the Raven Queen in d&d).

UNNAMED, aka Enna's Prequel (PREV: Angel's Daughters) (#wip: ennas prequel)

By the time they were 19 years old, Enna and Anne Helder-Kromlin had been accused of murder once, imprisoned at least three times, and orphaned twice. By the time they were forty, those numbers would be changed to six, fourteen, and one, respectively. They had only ever actually committed four of the murders they were accused of, as Enna liked to remind people. Unfortunately, they had also been the targets of a blood feud, gotten kidnapped then almost killed by a necromancer, and twice had to go into hiding.

This is the backstory of Anne and Enna. Its set approx. 10-20 years before Frost & Fire, and it shows how they ended up where they are now, and their adventures. This is directly based off the original d&d campaign I played with Enna as my PC, and the main plot elements are a necromancer named Eleanor, a murdered brother, blood feuds (of a sort), and various other things. This is unnamed. It was previously called Angel's Daughters, but that rather spoiled the ending.

Silence and Secondhand Souls (#wip: silence and secondhand souls)

Fate is an interesting thing. Some doubt it even exists. Not me. Not anymore. Souls don’t rest until they’ve told their story, and I’ve got a long way to go yet. My friends are dead and so am I, haunting a narrative I never got a choice in. How exactly did that happen, you ask? Let me start at the beginning. Or the end, rather. I died when I was 21 years old.

Silence and Secondhand Souls is a first person POV story, narrated by Alexandra Rovenowa. She is dead. This is the story of how she died, set seventy years or so before Frost & Fire. It is also the story of how history likes to repeat itself, and how sending kids on quests for the sake of the world is bad, and of a kind Death, despite it all. (This is my most dramatic wip. Its a tragedy, and I really, really like it.) This does not have a current wip intro.

#writeblr #writeblr intro #writers on tumblr #creative writing #my current one is almost exactly a year old so i figured it was time for a new one #i need to get the new intros done for the other four

[xsapphirescrollsx]

Outsider pt 1 Chapter 1

Outsider Series

Pairing: Dark Bucky- Winter Soldier/ OFC

Summary:  “Outsiders exist. You know they do, if you aren’t already one of them. The one who doesn’t fit in, the misfit, the sometimes rule breaker, and burden spirit. ”

Warnings: SMUT, violence, noncon! Do not read if this content if it offends you or isn’t your thing, please! DO NOT READ! And if you are under 18, click off this page!

June 23rd 2016

Awenha slumped in her chair while gazing at a hologram of an intricate web of brain activity. She swiped at a wild curl tickling the side of her face and she focused on the task. Brains and veins seem more accessible than actually accessing her emotions these days. She had been too complacent lately. She often heard the voice of her mother hum through her head to take risk, to break out of the ordinary, to find her place in the world. However, nothing pleased her more lately than the monotony of working in routine.

Awenha’s dark brown eyes narrowed she watched the program actuate then suddenly error. She continued to reboot the nano-modulator to catch the crappy trip scan that occurred when it booted up. The Joint Counter Terrorist Centre did not hire her to half-ass the stuff they dumped on her. Awenha had finally found her footing among the agency staff by proving her techniques and standards were just what the JCT needed to supplant divisive groups. But today she had spent a sixteen hour shift in a concrete building with recycled air eating days old left over tofu casserole that Carol brought once a month. However, she had to remind herself that top brass recruited her right out of the private sector and she had the same work for more money in Berlin.

Today, she needed the distraction. The side of her temple pounded as she rubbed at it. Anything really could pull her attention away her Project 458. And it would have been a sound reason to get off this floor.

“Hey, Dr. Broussard is coming into day with the Austrian terrorist.” Brock lazily strode in and tossed a file over on her metal desk. Awenha glanced over at the folder before typing up the final command before rebooting the device for hopefully the very last time.

The name Broussard kicked around in her memory. He had written a book about the criminal mind and the correlations of earlier childhood development. Something she had read in University with a typical dust cover with a morose bespectacled Dr Broussard on the back. But what he wrote was nothing much of a topic until she deviled deeper into his more controversial theories. Which she enjoyed more as they veered into the impossible, but she appreciated it.

“I wonder how long he will be here, I want to meet him.” She chimed in, then excitedly through a fist in the air.

“I got it! Finally, victory.” Awenha even jumped a bit as she walked toward Brock with the device. “Here, take this down to the team to deconstruct this thing. I want to know the origin of the code and where it is applied.”

Brock’s eyes didn’t blink as he stared at her. A subtle arch in is thin blonde eye brow gave away his blank expression.

“You can’t just walk down there. They’ve been hunting this man for ages.” Brock took the playing card sized ear shaped machine and shook his head at her. “It’s lock down time.”

“I’ll see how far I get.” She shrugged. “The worst that could happen is they turn me around. Then no loss.”

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Her blue lab coat, and floppy badge gained her access passed every guard on her way to see that doctor of an obscure field of psychiatry. But she walked where her feet carried her though. She had never known a door too locked, a path too blocked that she couldn't get around. The area was busy with almost every agent in the building that was capable of firing a weapon. Awenha stirred with anticipation as she shifted her weight to the left nervously searching for the doctor.

“Sublevel 4, east wing! The blast paneling should hold him.” An armored man shouted from her left. Her eyes moved to the agents with guns and body armor escorting a large bullet proof containment cell and within it a man with jaw length hair with the saddest eyes she had seen in awhile. A tall statuesque man took long strides across the entry floor. Steve Rogers, Cap, steely eyed determination and absolute trust in his decisions held the gaze of the man he approached. He was certainly bigger in real time, she thought, as her eyes followed him across the facility.

And then her gaze settled upon a man, lean with glasses and a badge. He was walking in her direction and she eagerly stepped up to him. “Dr. Broussard?” she asked hastily.

The man didn’t stop at first, he offered a glance. His eyes shifted in the direction of the containment cell before he stopped and began to address her.

“Yes?” he asked.

Awenha’s eyes quickly glanced over his features, pale skin, two days worth of beard growth, thin faced, and his eyes darkened the longer she held his attention. This was not Dr. Broussard. She knew what he looked like on the dust cover. And the who now stood in front of her was not the dumpy doctor. Something was wrong here. Her mind raced at the implication of what she was discovering.

“You—You’re taller than I had expected. Sorry.” she stammered.

His expression changed quickly from curious to dangerous has he became uncomfortably close to her face.

“Dr. Tiakan is it? Counter terrorist biological division, floor 12; section 3?” He said in a thick accent she couldn’t place. She saw his hand reach up and hold her badge. “So, it would be easy to find you. In this building or outside of it.”

Everything about this man was presented in an air of threats and promises to harm. Awenha took a step back from him. Surprise and shock interrupted clearer thinking. And without another word spoken between them she turned to return to the safety of her lab.

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Awenha attempted a confident untroubled stride against the bundle of anxiety that formed in her mind. She held her chin up, focused her eyes on the on the path in front of her. Even so, she tried not to think about the man. Though it was never really in her personality to not act, her thoughts stilled at the consequences of not reporting. Doubt surfaced that perhaps she was wrong. Her instincts told her she was not. The man’s eyes and body language bore all the tale-tale signs of subterfuge, how could she be wrong? There could be only one course of action that was required. Awenha practically ran through her lab as soon as she entered the door toward her station. A quick search in the data base showed exactly the face of Dr. Broussard she had known. But wouldn't command know this? She asked her self. And the man who was now with this solider, the man who had threatened her, was not the good doctor.

Awenha bit at her fingernail as she stood in front of the screen. Her mind raced as she thought about command and who she could confide in. Her independence had been basically dependent on knowing those who could keep her in the position she wanted. Those few people pulled strings not ropes. Awenha rarely left her lab other than to eat and the only person she saw in command more than once was agent Natasha Romannoff. Awenha knew about her well enough not to speak about her life in great detail; the woman had a legendary memory. And the Avenger had been to her lab at least four times in the last year, so perhaps she could be trusted.

Awenha walked to her phone, picked it up and pressed the button for command when the phone cut off. The room fell dark and flashing emergency lights kicked on. It was silent. And it was a significant soundless feeling of apprehension that began to roll over her. It felt tense in her small lab, contrast to normal lighting everything was bathed in the dim lighting of emergency backup power with flashing red alert from the hall. She had been in action alerts before, several, but this felt different. A pointedly amount of fear began to surge through her and igniting her adrenal glands to call her into a flight or fight response.

Gun fire echoed down the hall in section 4.

Awenha ran back across her small lab to the half open door and then out into the hall. A few people ran, others closed their labs quickly, and then she saw a man. Centered in the hall, submerged in minimum lighting with crimson alarms shadowed across his features, he was walking with purpose in her direction. He filled the corridor, tall and stocky with power in his legs that only carried him faster than Awenha could process. A few seconds passed before Awenha began to piece together what this was. She was either in the way or his target. And yet, the false Dr Broussard couldn’t possibly believe her to be any real threat to his plans.

But then the man began to run.

Awenha dashed back into the safety of the lab she pushed her body upon the heavy metal door forcing it to shut. Before she could respond to what happened, Awenha was thrown back by the force of the man kicking the door open. She crashed backward into the nearby workstation, sending equipment and paperwork off the other side and clattering to the floor.

Terrified, she lunged for a gray crowbar underneath the diagnostic table. Adrenalin and fear moved her to swing haphazardly even before she was completely aware of the location of the threat. Her instincts were rewarded when she hit flesh, then another swipe Awenha bashed the man across the chest.

Her heart skipped a beat when she couldn’t retract the bar. Brown eyes traveled the length of the metallic bar to a hand. Silver material shined under the glow of emergency lighting in the shape of a fist that was wrapped tightly around the crow bar. Her ragged breathing was the sound she heard the loudest in this moment. Fear kept her still as she stared at the man.

Shaggy dark brown hair fell around a square white face with a rough beard. His thick brows above light eyes laid flat in zero expression. Oh god, she thought. Dull eyes were dilated to black in the low light. Dark pools swallowed her attention and focus and caused basic reflexes to grind to an agonizing halt.

His lips pulled back over white teeth as the man drew back his flesh right arm. The loud smack of his closed fist hit her left jaw, instantly smooth brown skin bruised. Stars and sparks blasted into her vision. The impact sent her into the wall behind the closed door, knocking the bar from her hand. He was on her before she could articulate the pain she was in. Her eyes rolled from the cement ceiling to the white door of her lab. Heavy eyes blinked back tears as her head lulled back in his direction.

The man gripped the collar of her blue lab coat he snapped her head back as he dragged her against him. Trembling hands pushed back on him. Thoughts of action came and went as adrenalin rushed through her veins. She kneed him in the groin but he did not react. Her dark brown eyes widened as he drew her closer to his face. More forcefully she pushed against his broad chest. Teary eyed and terrified she stared at him silently as she twisted her body in his grip. He held her tighter. He was hard like a wall, immovable.

The sound of his voice, short, clipped and feral rumbled in her ears. “It was easy to find you.” he said.

“I won’t say anything!” She pleaded and fought harder against his hold.

By only the collar of the coat the man shoved her to the floor so hard she heard the bones of her right wrist crack on impact. Hurt and scared her entire body shook. The beginning of tears poured into her eyes as she began to look around her immediate area.

Okoye’s smooth commanding voice filtered into her thoughts. Fight, anything can be a weapon you just have to be present in your surroundings.

Wild eyes landed on the compression spanner on the next workstation, it could be lethal in the right hands. It really could, she tried to convince herself. When triggered the blue plasma it radiated could burn hotter than a torch. Awenha bit past the pained wrist as she scrambled across the floor. Conquering the fear that threatened to stop her, Awenha started to sprint away from the man.

The sound of tearing and the splinting of her shin was heard first before she felt it. The pain swallowed her scream, her body jerked once again as a painful blow to her back and shoulders hammered the breath right out of her. Stunned and beaten into submission her body crumpled to the floor. Eyes wide in shock Awenha breathed, panic set in when she couldn’t feel if she was taking in air. Her hot swollen face pressed against the cool concrete floor she laid there and gasped for air. Crushing pressure across her back had her gripping the floor.

I don’t want to die. I don't want to die, her mind churned.

The tangy smell of iron filled her nose as slowly her breath returned. But the vibration of footfalls shifted her eyes in the direction of the man. She could see the detail on his dark boots, the trail of dust collecting the in nooks of the laces and shiny black speckles covered the tops. With a rough shove of his boot into her right shoulder he pushed her over.

“Stop!” Awenha’s mangled voice whimpered painfully in her throat.

Blood exploded from her mouth. His cold calculating eyes roamed over her body. She wondered what he was thinking. Her mind tripped over what could possibly be going through someone like him. His polished metal hand tighten into a fist. The mechanical hiss of servos whirled in the silence of the room. The feeling of dread shifted her eyes to his face. Sweat dripped from his nose as it flared, his jaw flexed. A sob rattled through her chest at the sight of him. Awenha raised a shaky hand, palm open in a show of surrender.

She flinched when he quickly stepped over her, straddled her body as he towered above her. His were eyes vacant of any of emotion. Seemingly lifeless eyes traced along her mouth, neck, and chest. Awenha’s mind raced as she saw his focus flicker down further to her body.

What did he want? Her mind reached for explanation. Anything to quiet the violent flashbacks of events that proceeded this moment. He was unreadable throughout the attack but here, now she knew from his roving gaze that he desired. The beating in her chest rushed blood to her head; she sucked in air hard trying to clear her mind. She couldn’t stop staring at him, unbelievable terror ripped through her mind at what the future held. The promise of continued strife and suffering lasted in the air between them. And with growing alarm tears began to pool around her eyes that blurred and darkened the image of him into a fuzzy outline. Not knowing what would happen next instantly made her nauseated. Awenha clinched her eyes against the feeling of sick. She tried to imagine anything but what had occurred.

She fought through the seizing feeling of faint when he fell to his knees. Her focus became the dull gray ceiling. She thought of the first time she entered the lab. Battling against the feeling of his hands pulling and tugging at the top of her blouse she tried to remember but lost it. His body was incredibly hot as he laid on her. Awenha made little effort to fight when he forced his body weight on her hard, the weight of him rushed out any air she was holding in. With a rough unlovable knee he kicked her rigid thighs apart to accommodate his lower half.

In her last stand, she resisted by turning her head at the feeling of his humid breath on her lips. Soft, warm, panting cascaded over her face as she moved to stop the scent from invaded her nose. -sweat, metal, and hot skin. His dry lips hovered over her ear; she could hear him swallow his breaths came more erratic in his intentions for her body.

She squeezed her eyes tight at the sound of his grunt.

A painful tug across the sensitive skin of her folds shot her eyes open. She heard one last rip and jumped under his weight as he tore her underwear from her body. A tattered scream flooded from her mouth but was quickly silenced with a strong clamp of his metal hand along her jaws. He dug in the edges of his metal fingers into her skin. Agonized resistance moved her body even when her mind had accepted her fate. Legs kicked, and the action shot searing pain up her right leg as a gargled moan escaped past the squeezing in her jaw. Still she bucked her hips against the attacker to gain distance.

His metal hand gripped her face hard forcing her to focus entirely on him and it stilted her motions. In this hell-scape moment she recognized that his eyes were blue- crystal blue, glassy and emotionless. Then she felt him painfully enter her body. She openly wept, tears streamed down the corner of wide eyes that remained fixed on vacant blue eyes. His breath was warm on her lips and moist in her nose. Awenha’s head jerked but could not move as he squeezed her jaw harder. She felt the warmth of his flesh hand casually caressed away a curly bunch of hair that covered the side of her face. His eyes fixated on her, she felt his hand return as he cupped the side of her head with every push. His eyes drifted in expressions between knowing and lust as he took her. It was different, a hint that his actions had emotional consequence for him.

Her vision was being consumed with him. There was no escaping him, no rescue, and no hope in her. The bumping motions of his hair as it glided around his damp face tickled her cheeks. But she was grateful for the sensation because for the rest of her had gone numb. Awenha’s mind tried to grasp at a memory, far removed from the hell of now. Bits and pieces of it filtered into her reality as she struggled to hang on to it. But it was ripped away when she felt his lips press against her. A small removed action that seemed foreign to him and yet did not stop him. She did not respond to his seemingly tender kisses and was met with harder pushing, a greedy action articulated with each painful plunge.

She heard him grumble low, his eyes fluttered shut as his mouth held against her as his motions halted. He opened his eyes; they were different now as he gazed down at her. Awareness shifted under hooded eyes and as quickly as she had witnessed it was replaced with a void of emotion. He freed her jaw and the pressure of his metal arm on her chest released as he put his weight on it and to stand. Awenha stared at him as he stared back at her. For a moment they locked eyes as if neither could occupy the meaning they both experienced. There was neither remorse, nor any sign that the crime he had committed affected him in any way other than raised his heartbeat.

And still his blue eyes watched. He stepped over her, cautiously retreating back toward the door never turning his back. And then she saw his eyes soften for a moment when he paused. Suddenly he looked away, his back straightened, his eyes returned to the blank expression. Awenha did not move quickly instead she pulled her lab coat around her chest. It was incredibly silent a part from her ragged breathing. She recoiled at his abrupt movement away from her as the man threw open the door and disappeared.

#black!reader #dark!bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #black reader #black female reader