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#but like several others should also be talking to someone

bakuhatsufallinlove · 2 days

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Who Wants To Talk About Japanese Orthography In Manga???

Me, it's me, I do, and I have been chomping at the bit to get the chance to.

Orthography refers to the conventions of written language to represent sounds. That may bring to mind the idea of rigid grammar rules or spelling standardization, but in a linguistic sense, orthography simply describes observable trends across language use. This isn't about authority--I am not going to talk about what schools teach or say people should write one way or another. This is about examining how real people use written language creatively to convey different things in popular media.

This is a huge topic, so I'm only going to use examples from MHA to highlight Horikoshi's style.

First, let's get a run-down of the main parts of written Japanese and how they tend to be used.

We've got kanji and kana; kanji are logograms, while kana are syllabaries. Kana refers to both hiragana and katakana collectively, but we will delineate the two from here on.

The Wikipedia page for kanji, describing this more succinctly than I'm about to.

For clarity, I'm gonna color-code each one.

Let's take a quick look at all three in action.

Chapter 65

By virtue of being the syllabary that grammar particles are written in, hiragana can get away a lot that kanji and katakana can't.

You can write simple sentences in hiragana alone, like so:

The sentence is perfectly comprehensible like this, but it reads as casual or perhaps a bit immature, like the person is either leaving out kanji for speed or simplicity (like online) or they aren't confident using kanji. Although, the word hito (person) is extremely common and its kanji is simple, so this would probably look more natural:

But there are also kanji for the word kawaii, so you could also write it this way:

On the other hand, writing the whole thing in katakana looks weird as fuck:

bECAuSE iT kINDA reADS LIKE THis, or maybe L I K E T H I S

It seems almost alien, overemphasizing the phonetic sound of the words, implying there's something notable or unusual about them.

But what if you write it like this?

Both ways use katakana to put flavor on a specific word. The first puts it on person, which could be used in a situation where someone hasn't been named yet, but the speaker tonally emphasizes your knowledge of them--like "oh, you know who."

The second emphasizes cute, which could read as sexually suggestive, teasing/joking, or even a threatening tone, depending on the context. "Real cute, ain't they?"

Basically, the connecting grammar bits need to be in hiragana, but nouns, verbs, and adjectives can typically be written in any of the three systems. That introduces choice into the matter, and these choices may have some cultural connotations.

This is a subtlety in written Japanese that manga loves to take advantage of. Orthography contributes a lot to characterization and tone, so individual creators develop little quirks as part of their own writing style.

Now let's finally take a gander at some of Horikoshi's!

Kanji instead of hiragana for semantic emphasis

Chapter 48

Best Jeanist could have used only hiragana for the word "good" (いい, ii), which is a very common way to write it. But he's not just commenting that they are nice kids, he's talking about them as "goodie two-shoes" and even puts brackets around the idea. The kanji emphasizes the cultural idea of a Good Child™, a well-behaved, morally upright, obedient young person.

Kanji instead of hiragana denoting a serious or severe tone

Chapter 36

Katsuki's "you" pronoun omae being written with kanji comes across as markedly serious, especially compared to how his dialogue is normally written. This is actually the only time Katsuki says omae and it is written with kanji--all the rest are in hiragana, which tends to read as more casual.

Hiragana instead of kanji denoting a gentle tone or youthful/childlike language

Chapters 129 and 183

Katsuki and his omae show us how kanji use can be seen as more mature and serious; Eri's dialogue does the opposite of this by using hiragana when it could use kanji, emphasizing her youth and innocence.

Katakana instead of hiragana or kanji for emphasis or slang

Chapters 209, 207, and 2

As I detailed above, one of katakana's most common uses is similar to italics or all-caps.

But you also tend to see slang written with it, and depending on the slang, the word being in katakana can immediately clarify it from other, perhaps more standard meanings. In Jirou's case, her personal pronoun uchi can mean a couple other things, so it being written in katakana clarifies her usage. It could arguably also imply she is taking a bit of an argumentative tone--Katsuki's slang is typically written in katakana for both of these reasons!

Katakana denoting regional dialect/accent, nonstandard pronunciation/muddled speech, or confused articulation

Chapters 102, 208, 394, and 2

Ochako gets flustered and defaults to her regional Kansai dialect. Instead of "chigau wa" (Tokyo dialect), she says "chau wa" repeatedly.

Katsuki and Toga both drop the w- sound from a word. Katsuki says "ore a" instead of "ore wa," while Toga says the word "kawaiku" as "ka'aiku" and "kawaii" as "ka'aii." Notice how the katakana which represents the vocal omission/hiccup is actually smaller than the others? That's also a little stylistic detail for communicating this kind of nonstandard speech.

Izuku repeats All Might's words, chikara wo, in a confused daze because he isn't following All Might's point. By removing the kanji especially, this kind of katakana emphasizes him sounding the words out without recognizing the underlying meaning.

Basically, Japanese has some excellent ~vibes-based~ orthography because of how the language is structured!

Of course, you find this kind of thing in English as well--especially in the age of the internet, where people note that "how dare u" reads as tonally distinct from "how dare you." As you develop language fluency, you tend to pick up these things subconsciously more than anything, but it's one of my favorite things to analyze and compare.

These are just a few examples and my own interpretations of them. I'm sure there are many more uses and flavor-nuance I'm not picking up on. Since any given choice can be read a few different ways, context is very important. My examples aren't definitive proof of anything, but it can be fun to keep these kinds of details in mind while reading.

Shueisha and Shonen Jump surely have in-house standards for text, and mangaka must operate within that range. That said, I have indeed seen every one of these examples in other manga as well.

And on the independent side of things, doujinshi and online manga are basically the wild frickin' west--I have seen tons of totally crazy, highly creative ways to take advantage of the unique flexibility found in Japanese, but that's a post for another day.

I will probably write more about this kind of thing in the future when I can pinpoint some more observations, but I hope you all enjoyed the ride. <3

#meta #linguistics party #this is the nerdiest shit I've ever written and I'm not sorry #I find this soooooo fascinating and fun to think about #people are so cute we think of all kinds of ways to properly convey ideas and feelings and reference shared cultural information #almost all human languages are first and foremost spoken out loud #and human beings get so creative trying to figure out how to express all the complex minute details contained within verbal communication #through the written word #mha 2 #mha 36 #mha 48 #mha 65 #mha 102 #mha 129 #mha 183 #mha 207 #mha 208 #mha 209 #mha 394

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starscabaret · 1 day

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College Student Athlete Yandere! Elizabeth Gets Jealous ✧.*

pairing : yandere! elizabeth x fem reader

summary : Lizzie fucks reader in a jealous possessive rage after she catches her flirting with the other team after a tough loss

authors note : this is lesbian elizabeth is a girllll

warnings: nsfw, established relationship, Crying, rough, dramatic, dub-con, strap-on, smacking…just whew

You stood around defeated on the court as the other team and fans cheered and celebrated around you. You joined Lizzie at an away game. Her team should have won, they were predicted to win. But the game turned sour when the referees seemed to favor the opponent. Lizzie’s team had lost. You were upset but even more upset for Lizzie as you knew what the game meant to her. The game had just ended, and she joined her team in the locker room with no time to talk to you. You were waiting for her to come out of the locker room so you two could return to the hotel room and relax for the evening. You stand around with a group of friends and family of Lizzie’s teammates when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“Uh hey! You’re Elizabeth Moore’s girlfriend right?” a player from the other team smiles down at you.

“Yeah, I am…” you state a bit puzzled.

“We saw you on her Instagram and were wondering if we could get a picture with you! You two are the cutest couple!” She asks enthusiastically. It’s only now you notice the rest of the other team standing behind her.

“Aww, that’s so sweet yeah sure!” you reply, you’re a bit shocked people know of you and Lizzie. But you can’t say no to all these nice girls.

The girl that approached you hands her phone off to someone nearby while you and the girls start to move around for a picture.

“You two in the middle!” someone shouts.

You stand in the middle surrounded by these giant women a bit intimidated but flattered as they gush over your relationship.

Due to the severe height difference the girl beside you, the one that approached you, leans into you resting her elbow on the top of your head you all laugh because it makes for a funny shot.

The person with the phone is snapping multiple photos. You get distracted enjoying the girl’s humor and posing for the photographs, so you miss Lizzie exiting the locker room and coming onto the court to look for you.

That is until you see her standing behind the cameraman looming over them.

“y/n come here please we are leaving.” Lizzie glares at you, with her jaw clenched gripping her duffle bag tightly on one hand.

“Sorry Moore, just had to borrow her for a second!” The girl beside you says causing all of her teammates to laugh.

“Of course, Lizzie, let’s get back so you can rest.” You say scurrying over towards her, eager to make her feel better about the tough loss.

Oddly Lizzie doesn’t even reply, she just heads for the exit.

“Bye ladies, nice meeting you all!” You shout running out of the gym after Lizzie.

At the hotel, you are lying in bed in your pajamas as Lizzie takes a long shower. This was typical of her after any game, so you have no worries. That is until she comes out. Long blonde hair slightly wet, completely naked except for her favorite strap-on.

“Oh hi, babe.” You whisper just assuming she was feeling frisky as usual.

“Don’t hi babe me y/n. You know how I get about you.” She replies with a glare.

“Huh? What’s wrong? did I do something?” You question.

Without replying she makes her way to the edge of the bed grabbing your ankles once her shins hit the bed. She pulls you to the edge of the bed throwing your legs open revealing the panties you wear under your t-shirt. She moves her large hand down between your thighs gripping your whole mound.

“This is mine. You are mine.” She says while looking you in the eye, and moving her hand so her thumb is pressed against your clothed opening.

“Yes, I know.” you gulp nervous as to what is bothering her but also too aroused to ask again.

“You weren’t acting like it today. Why the fuck were you taking pictures with them? I saw her arm on you. I saw you giggling and smiling at their lame-ass jokes.” She glares at you while pressing her large thumb even deeper into your opening, creating a damp spot right where she pressed.

“Uh I, they just asked for a picture, Liz. “You breathe out.

You feel her hand pull away from your pussy. you almost whine immediately for her touch to return. But you don’t have to before you can blink, she lays a stinging slap to your pussy over your panties.

“You think I care about that?” She huffs grabbing your jaw to look at her.

Before you can even answer her question her hands are at your hips pulling your panties down.

“I don’t, all I care about is this right here. You. You know that. They only did that to piss me off you know. Losing the game, we should have won and then putting their hands on you, my love? Oh, that was the cherry on top. Next time we will win. I promise you that. But for now, you need to learn something.”

She rants while still looking you in the eye while sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What is it, Liz?” You ask fully obedient and ready to calm her any way you could.

“You’re mine, no one else’s. Ever. I don’t want those girls or anyone touching you like that ever again. Or I swear to God y/n I will hurt them. Now sit. Obviously you didn’t believe it before, so ill fuck it into your brain.” She speaks against your lips grabbing your hips to lift you over her. placing your thighs outside of hers with her cock between your legs.

Already so obedient and eager for her cock you reply, “Yes mommy.”

You have no trouble sliding yourself to the base of her length. Her possessive nature had softened and moistened your warm cunt. Even though you hate to admit it.

Once your clit meets her strap, she grabs your hips using her strong hips and arms to bounce you on her strap. After just a few bounces you feel as if she is going to split you in half. You moan aloud almost drooling at her pace.

“Yeah, look at you, you’re getting it now good girl.” She coos as she continues pounding and massaging the walls of your pussy.

But it’s not enough for her. She has to continue drilling it into your head. You are hers, and no one else’s. Her frustration from losing the game combined with her intense emotions at watching you interact with the opponent drove her insane.

She moves her hands from the tight grip she has on your hips, which she is using like handles to fuck you like a toy. Her arms make their way around your torso pulling you flush against her with her face breast into your breast. She continues her pounding by thrusting her strong hips into you. Rutting and moving the strap into your hole like she was opening you for the first time again.

“Mine, OK? You promise?” She asks into your chest fervently moving her mouth around to suck bite and nuzzle her face into your boobs.

“Yes, Mommy I promise.” You throw your head back shouting willing to say whatever you needed to for her to keep fucking you on her cock. Also to appease the dark urges you knew she had at seeing you with others.

Lizzie still in a possessive jealous frenzy kept fucking you causing you to scream and moan out. Your clit hitting the base of her cock, your hole full of her, it all became too much. You were going to cum soon.

Too cock drunk to notice earlier you feel tears against your chest as Elizabeth’s face is pressed against it. Still full of her strap you look down at her and she’s crying.

“Liz what’s wrong honey?” You ask lifting her face to look at you.

But she doesn’t stop fucking you. She speeds up her pace widening and opening your little cunt even more.

“Please y/n, don’t leave me. I love you. I’ll take care of you. I’m all you need ever.” She chants as she continues lifting you up and down her strap like a toy. The desperation and tears in her eyes make you even wetter as she fucks her devotion into you.

“I won’t Liz, I won’t ever.” You respond as tears well up in your own eyes from her emotions and the aching stretch of her cock inside you.

She notices your orgasm building up. To make sure her message was heard she flips you onto your back shoving her cock deeper into you as she leans over you.

“I know princess, I know.” She chants whilst grabbing your jaw and fucking you to an orgasm. Your arms wrap around her holding her close, calming the shock waves running throughout your whole body.

She doesn’t stop after your orgasm; she continues slowly rutting into you with her sore body. Giving all that she has even after exhausting her body during the game.

Once she becomes too tired to thrust into you anymore, and you are thoroughly fucked, and the bed is covered in your juices she doesn’t pull out. She keeps her strap in you and lays all her weight on you heavy breathing and kissing into your neck.

You are too cock drunk to try to clean yourself. You rest and let her lay on top of you controlling and owning your body, in the way that she pleases.

Both exhausted from the day’s events you too fall asleep with her strap still stretching her pretty pussy.

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pop-punklouis · 9 hours

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how do you feel about whats being said about liam in maya's new book? about him making her get an abortion or else he would leave her and he didn;t even drive her to the hospital when she had complications due to the abortion? gross as fuck

i wasn't even aware of all of what was going on with liam until yesterday because i tend to try and stay as far away as possible from knowing things about liam.

but, i'm not sure exactly how i'm supposed to feel other than grossed out and disturbed? not sure there should be an array of opinions over what maya shared (if people are having differing opinions that is). what she said should be taken seriously. and i hate that she went through that- at any age with a partner but especially being as young as she was. it seems like this book is her way to heal, and who am i to judge how someone who was in a toxic relationship with someone of liam's caliber should heal?

addiction is such an insidious symptom to a damaged person, and as someone who was in a long-term relationship with an addict from 19-23, it's awful. if you've never experienced being on the other side of that.... it's difficult to even wrap your brain around the abuse that can accumulate both for the partner and the addict, themselves. it just. fucking sucks. and i have a lot of sympathy for addicts because of what i've went through. so i do have sympathy for liam's continuous addiction, but there is a very fine line for having sympathy for someone's addiction and excusing them for the behavior they exhibit while going through their addiction. i don't excuse his abusive behavior. i don't excuse his manipulation tactics in his relationships. i don't excuse his manic episodes and harmful comments that he's said about his partners or his former bandmates etc.

i hope he finally gets the help he so desperately needs, because its clear from years of observation that he needs long-term rehabilitation and good people around him to truly fend off his addictions instead of them staying cyclical. but, that also doesn't mean i have to support him otherwise. i'm tired of how he handles situations and the boys and his relationships and his own brand. he genuinely needs to seek help, because what maya talks about in that book shows that he is severely damaged and even if he does get fully sober, he still has demons to face.

#grey #honestly still not over how he talked about zayn on the logan paul podcast sorry #that shit still enrages me #but i mean. no one should be pushing maya's story to the side #they should be taking it very seriously and hopefully will be the catalyst for him getting the help he desperately needs #by all of his abuse being put center stage #i dunno

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thedreadvampy · 2 days

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they took your stuff at the protests???

I don't necessarily know which protests you're talking about, but it does turn out that it's apparently legal for police to steal 70+ people's stuff in one go without warning or recourse and then refuse to return it (including communal property and anything that happened to be on site) unless its owners come in individually and provide ID and personal details tying them to a situation where arbitrary arrests were being made on spurious charges. I have heard that several people provided ID and details but were refused return of their property because they couldn't describe in perfect detail the contents of their bag. Several others had ID/tech or meds in their bags so had no choice but to go give their details.

Since you mention protesters, chat is that this is a valuable learning experience about weighing up risk. If cops try to block your access to your property en masse at an organised action or event, it may be a lower risk tactic to try and break their line and grab your bags than to back off and abandon them on the assumption they'll have to be returned, because cops are allowed to hold your stuff indefinitely hostage and can use this as leverage to get you to dob yourself in.

It's also a reminder that if you're in a high risk place where cops are likely to be reactive, even if you're just near something that might cause something to kick off, no identifying information should be kept off your person - phones, bank cards, ID, etc need to be in closed pockets, where they can't be separated from you and used to ID you. As a rule of thumb if it contains details you'd only give if questioned by the police (which you are obliged to give, ie full name, date of birth, place of birth, current address, nationality) or indications of those details it should either stay home or stay in a place where the only time people could have it is if you're already in custody.

Also don't bring stuff you can't afford to lose, is the other lesson here, and don't hang onto each other's stuff. So if possible don't put your good headphones in someone's bag, and also don't bring your only pair of glasses, your whole supply of vital meds, your work laptop or work phone, etc.

Given the way cops are acting lately this is probably good to hold in mind for any protests or encampments, as you mentioned, particularly anti-genocide ones, even if they're peaceful and legal. Cops are kicking off all over the place lately and it's better safe than sorry.

#red said

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876543287654356789io987654 · 16 hours

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Mod Stephen is a complete jerk and I'd like to talk about it.

I'm Mod Incyn, Mod Stephen's (now) ex and previous partner, the one who would occasionally answer the asks with silly little drawings of your faves smoking weed.

I'd like to talk about it because I don't want him rebranding this account to suddenly pretend nothing happened.

There's a lot that's happened and a good portion of it is not going to be shared because it's little reasons that don't seem important to share regardless.

Here are his Discord(s); TWICE being his main, Gnarp Gnarp being his alt.

Discord IDs: 690442589400334346 / 274840384004161536

I would prefer for those who have interacted with him, or for those who won't even interact with him ever, to just avoid him overall. He's changed from a genuinely kind person I've dated to one of the biggest liars and assholes I've had the misfortune of meeting; and hopefully he'll better himself in the future, but it saddens me that I'm one of the people he's been hurting for a while.

For months after our final breakup (a mutual decision to be friends), Stephen decides to do a complete 180 in how he interacted with me; he's gone far enough as to talk behind my back to his new partner about things that he pretended to care about when I offered to spend time together.

I've already gone 0 contact with him after our breakup, yet he believes that this is how I should be treated and has attempted to get people to side with him/pit them against me among my current friend group.

He miraculously has the courage to talk bad about me regarding statuses that never involved him, that I never implied to be aimed or directed to him.

There's also the times where, while I'm not obviously going to force someone to sit and watch me play games, he's agreed to spend time with me only to talk behind my back like I was forcing him to do something he didn't want.

If he didn't want to sit through me playing games, he could've just been nice and let me know about it.

There's also the several times I've commissioned him during our relationship (and mind you, I've given him no deadline as I wouldn't have wanted to rush him), and yet he couldn't deliver any final pieces to me because of different reasons that just never really made any sense.

(The "Agent Washington" proxy and "Jones" profiles are still the same person I am referring to, which is Mod Stephen. He used to also go by several names.)

(For context, my name was previously Sacrifice that I went by.)

I've paid him for other things (such as food, games, etc., but none of those are related to my commissions from him, and thus I do not deem important).

Another instance of his crude behavior has been during VC in a streamer's server that he now is banned from (with proof that he still openly shits on me and my friends for getting him banned for several counts of harassment during and outside of VCs is several other servers).

While I don't care that he's petty about being banned, he surely has a problem that someone in his server is quietly ratting him out for his toxic behavior towards me and other friends.

There's counts of him making pretty awful jokes in VCs while I was still dating him in said streamer's server, especially one regarding me allegedly "verbally abusing him" in front of many other server members when I've been nothing but kind to him for everything.

(This was a conversation I had with said streamer months after the initial joke.)

He had only apologized about it once I actively DMed him regarding the joke, and made no attempt to even apologize for it during or AFTER the VC was already over with.

The only thing I'd rather talk about is his treatment regarding my friends and how they're both equally just as hurt for him talking shit about them over absolutely nothing - and even attempting to scam one of them out of Vbucks all because he didn't want to finish the commission due to it being "uncomfortable" - which clearly is more sad than I've expected of him to even pull off.

(Orion is also referred to as his previous name before choosing to have gone by Jonesy.)

This post is long enough as is, and I won't be going on longer as other reasons I've denied him permission to message me ever again is not as vital or as important as these ones.

I hope that anyone else he comes across is not treated this way, and never will be treated this way, all because he decides to trade them away for another person he finds more important to be with.

#mod incyn #not a request #i'll be reblogging to my main account as well later on #i will also reblog this several times on this account so he cannot just simply delete it like it's nothing people should know about

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cadetcama · 2 years

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HSMTMTS has given us like 5 characters with anxiety this season, all different in how its portrayed. I just wish they could talk about it more

#cama rants #like Kourt wanting to talk to someone when she gets home is huge #but like several others should also be talking to someone #hsmtmts

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asteralien · 3 months

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richard's relationship with money is so interesting to me despite/because of how vague and nonspecific it is in canon. which only makes sense because the show isn't interested in richard's backstory at ALL and, it being an audio medium, it can't exactly give many context clues like wardrobe/style or what his apartment/house looks like. but it's like......... he doesn't have interests, he dabbles in money-making activities. i am practically forced to assume that his mention of being good at pool also = a side hustle. his estranged dad up and left him a house and a paid ride to college. at this point he's way better off than he's ever been -- after 18 years of living with two separate conmen and a mother who doesn't care about him in mediocre apartments, he's suddenly on his own with his future out in front of him, and....... he STILL takes very risky grade-changing jobs for money? like he bypasses getting a regular college job and goes straight to petty crime? and apparently "far worse" crimes??? it's such an interesting balance between craving the security of Having Money and being pathologically unable to get it in a "normal" "safe" way. he doesn't even do anything with it in canon, he just GETS it. he isn't even buying lucy's drinks himself!!!! obviously even richard has bills to pay (which is. very funny to me. sorry that i think 19-year-old college era richard is the funniest person to ever exist, gremlin who's only ever lived in an apartment with his mother, sister, and mother's rotating cast of boyfriends, suddenly has a whole ass house dumped in his lap on his 18th birthday in exchange for his whole ass father's wholesale abandonment of him, has to figure out how to pay utility bills on his own, maybe thinks about getting a barista job or whatever kids did in the 80s, record shop clerk job?? and then nopes past it and picks "exploiting a child genius" as a career path instead. what a fucking legend. i also think he murdered people for money a couple times but that's just me) sorry i've lost the plot of this post thinking about campbell county community college computers richard. imagine being the people at the 5 Cs in charge of hiring STUDENT COUNSELORS and seeing richard maxwell strut into his interview and thinking "yes this 18-year-old suspiciously home-owning kid who talks like a john hughes movie antagonist and is currently his kid sister's very much illegal guardian is the perfect fit for our emotionally and socially fragile 11-year-old resident genius. what could go wrong" and then they have to pay for nicholas adamsworth's therapy sessions for the next 5 years because richard maxwell was what could go wrong. fuck. "waylaid in the windy city" maybe be my personal favorite richard but pre- and mid-"eugene's dilemma" richard is definitely the weirdest and funniest

#richard maxwell #aio #richard goes home deliriously exhausted from his college classes and 14 illegal side hustles and has to help rachael with her math homework #'why does he talk Like That' because it was the 80s and he's a single father next question #no wonder he genuinely likes lucy she's a Good Kid who doesn't need him she just likes him #despite everything that's probably the most straightforward relationship he has #unfortunately on lucy's end she also requires several years of therapy after her category 5 richard maxwell moment #like EVERYTHING about eugene's dilemma richard makes simultaneously more and less sense #when you realize that he's got the background radiation of 'my estranged mom showed up out of the blue to make me take care of her/my siste #'and then she left me alone with my sister and no way to contact her if i needed help'#'and then my sister got taken away from me because she got busted for shoplifting several times in a row so now i'm alone again'#'i canonically hate myself for failing her this way'#'also someone almost kidnapped me in a creeper van the other day'#the fact that fotf created the Most Character of All Time without meaning to or realizing is so fucking infuriating to me #at the very least richard maxwell should have been a supernatural character. he could have shone there.#instead. here we are.

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i-want-docmartens · 1 month

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when someone is taking literally any medication and it is known by those close to them, it is so so normal to check in with that individual about how those meds are working for them.

How are you feeling today? How are you feeling in general?

"Have you taken your meds today?" is actually such a neutral statement that most of the time is generated purely out of care for wellbeing, especially when a defined mental illness has been communicated and discussed. Especially when the individual on the other end doesn't struggle with that same illness but still has care and concern.

When you're actively searching for something to help you, and you are in fact receiving abundance of support in that journey, it is insane and misplaced to blame that individual for 1) that medication not being your correct medication 2) that person not knowing all the ins and outs of medication/ your specific medication and 3) for that individual not policing and making sure you stay on your schedule and/ or being upset when they try to help you after you express concern about staying on a schedule

Medication can be such a beautiful thing, but you have to accept that it's a personal journey that genuinely no one can guide you through perfectly, not even yourself, and if you expect others to do taht for you, or decide to paint them in a wicked light for not working that journey for you (because they truly cant) it's extremely damaging to anyone trying yo also work through those things- with you or separately on their own

#and acting like someone “didnt want to deal with you” because they were helping you with meds you asked them to help you with #and expressed several times you thought you needed at the time #and was more than open to exploring other options safely and talked about with a care provider #because there was only ever genuine love being poured over you #and now that youre wounded and bitter you like to pretend the hands you were holding werent holding yours back #but we were gripping on for dear life #do not get me started about the invalidation of mental illness's #or about the treatment of how one should be behaving because of them #if you want to get into that you then also have to take a phat look in the mirror and own up to all of your shit too #instead of absolving yourself fully #capacity for evil and allat

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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months

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God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(

#its bc last night my dad had a dream she was in a car wreck. he transferred that anxiety onto me #shes such a bitch tho.just like intolerant of things she doesnt understand. and she does not understand my unwell brain #i think she likes my youngest sistsr best now. which fair bc i do too but we used to be besties. we used to explore in the woods together #and play ellos and barbies and legos and poly pockets and magnets. and now we never text eachother. its sorta sad #its not just me tho. my youngest sister and i have a 4 year gap so we weren't really interacting much when were were little bc she was too #bby to me but shes such a genuinely lovely person now. shes a special ed and preschool teacher. i asked her mom how she ended up with both #of my sisters bc my middle sister is the most like entitled person i kno. like my parents r very generous and she doesnt think for a moment #about not accepthing things from them. she thinks shes owed that amd more. its so strange #and my mom was like. thank goodness i got the youngest bc otherwise id think something was wrong with me #im prob somewhere in the middle of them. my brain is just more fucked up so like im greatful but im struggling. theres not a ton of like #really obvious mental illness in my family tho. just here and there someone should b diagnosed and get a bit of help. my uncle is the only #other one who could possibly be bipo1ar but hes also got a lot of problems: severe adhd and possibly b0rderline. so it could just b that but #my dad says when u talk to him sometimes things just doent make sense bc hes had convos in his head wuth you so he thinks u kno already #idk. its interesting tho #unrelated

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theygender · 10 months

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This has been on my mind for weeks and I talked to my therapist about it today and told my girlfriend about it too so now it's time for me to update the gay people in my phone: I may have schizotypal personality disorder

#this is like the equivalent of telling the bees to me #rambling #like ive been thinking about ever since i learned that autism shares a lot of similarities with schizophrenia and looked into that #and then learned about negative/cognitive symptoms and realized i related a lot to them #and then i learned more about schizotypal personality disorder and it was fuckin scary how much i related to it #what with the magical thinking and the severe social anxiety that doesnt go away when i get to know someone #and the ideas of reference and the eccentricity and the communication difficulties and the strange thought patterns #and then i specifically learned about avolition as a negative symptom which describes the exact thing thats ruining my life rn #and. i was scared to talk to my therapist about it bc i was worried it could be used against me somehow #but it was good to talk it out with her and get some additional perspective on whats going on in my brain #and if it means i could maybe possibly work on fixing the avolition and the social anxiety (my two biggest issues for years)#then it would be 100% worth it tbh. and its also kind of helpful to have some sort of framework to understand whats happening in my brain #funnily enough when i told my girlfriend (who was previously mis?diagnosed with schizophrenia and considering autism)#about it she related a lot too. so i guess we'll see how that goes #its. crazy how much of an overlap there is between schizospec orders and autism #i feel like i might should write up a post going into detail about different schizospec disorders to raise awareness #bc like. it is so much more than just hallucinations and delusions #in fact its not even required to have both of those for any schizospec disorder. some only require one and others dont require either #there is so much to the schizophrenic spectrum that i was unaware of and I'm sure that's probably true of other people too

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anotherpapercut · 8 months

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people acting like there isn't still very much an active stigma against cannibas and cannibas users is going to be my joker origin story

when i go to the doctor they still put cannibas use under the tab "substance abuse". not even just substance use. it is fully assumed that people who use cannabis, even as a prescription medication, are abusing it. just because you're friends with a couple of dumbass stoners doesn't mean that we've abandoned the idea as a culture that weed is a bad and scary and dangerous and highly addictive drug that will ruin your life if you use it once

#idk what its like in other countries but in the us and especially in red states fear mongering about weed is alive and well #'it ruins lives' -direct quote from a library board member making it so we can be fired for testing positive even w a prescription #i just take umbrage with posts about addiction that go out of their way to mention weed which we all learned in 6th grade is addictive #but dont also mention that this true of all prescription drugs and that a person can be dependant on a drug for health reasons???#yeah i get anxious and cant go a day without weed. because i use it to treat my anxiety and pain. i also get anxious without my wellbutrin #but people arent lining up to make posts about it?? and like you CAN obviously become addicted to prescription drugs its super common!#so i kind of feel like it would be far more useful to say 'this is true of ALL drugs. including weed caffeine and prescriptions'#you should always research ANY drug you take. prescription or not. find out about addictiveness + side effects + other drug interactions #and you should talk to someone if you feel anxious about your relationship to drugs. prescription or not #there have been many times where i was prescribed way too many drugs at once and it made me feel anxious and uncomfortable #so i talked to my doctors and consolidated several and it actually made them work a lot better #locked reblogs because i KNOW people are going to read this is 'so you should never ever talk about negative consequences of weed'#and im pretty sure the people who follow me will be able to understand thats obviously not what im saying #but as soon as it leaves my blog whos to say. but anyway like. I think we should talk more about addiction to all substances #and not just the ones that were already covered in DARE #I feel like at this point everybody has heard all of the negative possibilities with weed use at least once #and that's not necessarily true of caffeine and even like. benadryl lmfao #I might delete this in 10 minutes if I psych myself out akbdjznsjf

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mantisgodsdomain · 1 month

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Slowly, yet painfully realizing that we're probably the exact type of person that random fandom guys would miscast as a father.

#we speak #internet teenagers keep coming to us as like the only authority figure on hand who will treat them like people #and we're like... please... we don't want to be an authority figure... why do all of your parents suck so hard...#like we're willing to offer ourself as an anchor as well as we can because we've Been there and know how it feels #but like damn. who the fuck let your families suck this bad. how on earth have situations managed to produce enough of you #that we end up being cast as The Only Adult On Hand Willing To Listen And Talk Through Things MULTIPLE TIMES #and perhaps more importantly why are we the only person in random fandom discords who is willing to treat teenagers like People #weren't the rest of you also teenagers at some point??? don't you like remember how it feels like to not have agency for shit???#experiencing the “only person in the room who's willing to take a position” thing #despite there being like multiple other people in the room who should be WAY more qualified for this #how does this keep happening and more importantly why are we the only guy in the area who is doing anything to help #just to stress this point #we are trying our hardest to NOT be an authority figure because historically it ends terrible for us due to The Mental Health Issue #but somehow we are continually running into situations where we're the only guy willing to come up to plate #the syndromes. the issues. we are so fucking glad that this particular wave is coming now instead of A Few Years Ago #something something progress but also we dislike that we have to be the one handling these situations #because we shouldn't be considered a primary point of stability in anyone's life and the fact that we ARE a stable point to anyone is uhh #weird to think about. who let this happen. we're not old enough to be a parent #and we also find it very alarming that there are so many of you out there who are severely lacking in support #someone needs to work out a childcare arrangement system that doesn't suck because the current one really isn't doing it #while we're at it we can start overhauling the culture that landed us in being the only person willing to listen to people like ever #and maybe make it so we don't have to be a primary support because people are sufficiently supported already

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wonder-worker · 2 months

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that feeling when you want to write a long post ranting discussing something you feel especially strongly about but you're just. too Tired to actually sit down and do it

#also it's technically vaguing other posts which I don't want to do #but tbh this is something I really have wanted to talk about for a while I just didn't realize how frustrated I was until now #anyway:#you do know that it's possible to recognize Henry VII's success as King without completely erasing Edward IV's entire reign impact #and achievements* in the process right?#(*achievements that massively BENEFITTED Henry VII and gave Henry several useful precedents which he actively followed.#If you're genuinely interested in Henry you should be able to acknowledge that and use it as part of your analysis of him)#like I'm sorry but if the only way you can compliment Henry is by erasing someone else's credit and policies that Henry himself referenced #I don't think your opinion can be taken seriously. even though I very much do agree with your broader point #There are ways to highlight Henry's considerable success without diminishing Edward IV's own success that preceded Henry's #(and also without incorrectly caricaturing the entire Wars of the Roses as decades of bloody ravaged in-fighting my god)#(there was a 12-year reign of relative stability and economic recovery from 1471-83 that you're literally erasing completely.#are you fucking stupid?)#It's weird because I obviously dislike the way Henry VIII is glorified at his father's expense #and dislike when Henry VII's achievements that contributed so massively to his son's reign are minimized #so when I see people defend Henry VII using the exact same method to praise Henry at Edward IV's expense (except Edward is #just entirely erased and overlooked rather than vilified)...#it's rather hypocritical imo?#to be clear it's not about Edward I know it's about Henry. and it doesn't generally happen because Henry is not generally #talked about positively at all. he's often regarded negatively in a way that makes no sense and which I'm very frustrated by #But when he IS given praise it's usually exacerbated by people who (implicitly; perhaps unknowingly) minimize Edward IV in the process #and it's irritating to say the least #anyway. sorry. I didn't mean to vague I don't generally do this. but I really do have a lot to say about this topic #I do want to make another post about it sometime but not anytime soon #I might delete these tags in a bit let's see #(super unsure if I should post this but. whatever)

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seraphim-soulmate · 10 months

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okay I need to move out. I realized I can push myself to cook but already having to cross that barrier is hard enough and the reason I don't do it is bcs of my shitty roommate.

#personal #already not a fan of cooking with others but if you add to that very loud singing im gonna kms #and thats why its so hard for me to stand in the kitchen to make a meal #i know i should ask him to talk softer but i also know hes gonna take it bad #and im also pretty sure he was talking shit about me on the phone with someone and called me a girl several times #but like not 100% and i felt like that was crossing a limit #idk maybe he has many interpersonal issues #okay no. im saying that but reflecting on what he said im pretty sure it was about me and thats fucked up. id just rather not deal with it.

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neonacidtrip · 10 months

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Does anyone else occasionally see a news update from someone and just turn into a feral animal over it? Asking for a friend