#&honest to god if i had been in person i wouldve smacked someone lmao.

[jvzebel-x]

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#so ive been in contact w a clinic for a specific treatment plan&ive been getting paperwork together for this shit for like 3wks+ #&i just got a call about it-- a call ive been waiting for since last week-- only for them to tell me that #ill probably need to be hospitalized for the full extent of the treatment. lmao. #as if this in&of itself was not enough to send me full-on spiraling they let know that this will be totally out of pocket #(which i guess im more or less used to hearing at this point in my life lmao) #&also that i POPPED FOR AMPHETAMINES? #so i immediately start fucking freaking out&the person im talking to is trying to calm me down like #'its okay! youre not in trouble!' #&honest to god if i had been in person i wouldve smacked someone lmao. #i dont give a fuck what you fucking ppl think of me. ive been fighting for solid communication for this entire process #there isnt any reason i should feel inclined to respect any of you bitches enough to give a fuck about your opinion. #even if i didnt have my personal history or occupational hazard list IT WOULD BE CONCERNING TO FIND OUT I HAVE RANDOM DRUGS #IN MY SYSTEM THAT I WAS UNAWARE OF. &frankly that SHOULD be fucking obvious if i am panicking at all. #seeing as a did several different drug tests i dont see how any of it would come as a fucking surprise. #... then she realized that my blood test was negative&my piss test was 'presumptively positive' #&was like that bc of one of my other medications. #im not. THRILLED. that this was overlooked for a large variety of reasons lmao #but the fact that the med evals only last two weeks tops the list bc if i need to retest bc of this shit-- something that wont even #give them a different test result as i am still taking the same medication fucking daily as i have been for over a year now-- #i will need to do EVERYTHING again. for no reason. DEFINITELY for no reason caused by me. #all so they can tell me that they lied to me initially&they wont treat me unless i let them hospitalize me lmao. #im going to go fucking rabid. i Do Not want to be hospitalized. lmao.