#but it’s the first genuinely healthy one so

[aquariusmind0122]

1Am Astrology Observations!!!

These are my observations of some zodiac placements, some may apply and some wont. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't :)

I know Gemini and Aquarius are good matches but when these two are on each other's bad side it's like a battle of who can cut who the deepest with words. Things can go one or two ways, both signs communicte it out or argue it out. The arguments can become heated really fast due to both Air signs being so direct yet cut throat with their intelligent comebacks.

I've noticed a lot of Sagittarius suns/ moon/ risings in open or poly relationships.

8th house synastry is very interesting to me along with 12th house synastry. It's always a game of "will this be a lover or a enemy, or both?!"

I don't like how Taurus placements get called "lazy", they are not lazy they just choose to take their time. Change isn't easy for Taurus placements, it can even cause some to have anxiety. Taurus placements get things done on their own time.

The pisces and libra duo just makes so much sense, Libra being exalted in pisces. These two signs are always bumping into each other, platonic or romantic.

Virgos either love Aquarius or hate them, there's no in between.

Aquarius mercury people are genuinely so smart and funny, they are intellectual yet so unserious??

I don't know one pisces who hasn't been in some odd love triangle.

Capricorn and Aquarius risings can be just as intense as scorpio risings, Saturn ruled people have this bold/ mysterious look to them.

I've noticed many scorpios and sagittariuses are attracted to Aquarius or vice versa.

Libra placements can be such good siblings, they care so deeply for their families.

4th house synastry can be very beautiful, the person you share this synastry with could remind you of home in some way.

Aquarius/ sagittarius/ leo are trendsetters, I've seen these placements get their ideas stolen or copied first hand.

If a Gemini chooses not to speak to you it's probably because you bore them.

If someone's moon is in your 6th house it means that person will care so much about your well being. It may feel smothering at times but it's truly because they care.

I've seen leo and virgo in relationships a lot, it's not really healthy but both seem to gravitate towards each other.

Sagittarius suns need hugs. A sagittarius will light up a room and then go home to their darkness. They hide their vulnerability almost as well as an aquarius. Sagittarius are sidereal scorpios so it makes sense why they would be so secretive of their hard times.

Sagittarius and Aquarius are so similar, people don't talk about it enough!!

Cancer placements can be thee most caring people on earth; but as soon as they shut the world out to focus on their well being they get attacked.

12th house hidden enemies is so so true!! I have a 12th house scorpio and scorpio suns just hate me for some reason. Even when I'm kind to them they become bitter?!?. Nevertheless I'm obsessed with scorpios lmao.

Thank you for reading my zodiac yap session♡♡

#aquarius #astrology #taurus #aries #cancer #gemini #leo #pisces #sagittarius #scorpio #virgo sun #zodiac aesthetic #zodiac #astrology observations

[rainba]

Hihihihi!!! How would the sillies respond to a darling who's self destructive (both socially and physically, like self harm and self sabotage)? I love ur OCS btw ur writing is amazing 💘

Aww, thank youuu!! :3c

And thank you for the ask!! It's really made me think....

Huge warning for these responses, they are very… Dark. If these topics make you uncomfortable, please feel free to skip this one!

TWs/tags: self-harm, toxic behaviors from the yans.. Lots of angst (plus comfort)

For Kairos, it’d be a really unhealthy situation. He, too, engages in really self-destructive behaviors, and if his darling also does it, he’d only end up enabling you even further. In some way, Kairos would see it as “beautiful”, the two of you suffering together at your own hands... He’d be one of those people that would watch you cut yourself and then kiss your scars right after… And then he’d cut himself in the same places, just so you two can “match.”

And if you’re socially self-destructive? Pushing everybody away because you just feel like everyone secretly hates you, or for some other reason? It’s okay– all you need is Kairos, anyway! You can destroy all of your other relationships, so long as you keep Kairos close to you.

He’ll love you forever and ever, you never have to worry about him leaving you. If you push him away, he’ll keep coming back. You could be at your absolute worst, and he’d still view you as a perfect angel. It’s… Not healthy. But he can’t help it.

However– if you were to ever put yourself into any life-threatening situations, or if you genuinely wanted to die, he'd become downright terrified and would try his best to make you stop your self-destructive behaviors. After all, he loves you too much– he doesn’t want you to die. The two of you need to live long, happy lives together! If engaging in all these self-destructive things with you might lead to your death, he’ll do everything in his power to make it stop, and he'll also make sure that the both of you get better. He'll hold your hand every step of the way, recovering alongside you. And he'd never judge you for relapsing.

Basically, it's sort of like this: if you want to get worse, Kairos will also get worse. If you want to get better, Kairos will do everything in his power to help you, and he’d also try to help himself along the way. It’s almost like he’s mirroring you, in some ways.

As for Luka, he’d have a totally opposite reaction to Kairos. He would be enraged that you actively hurt yourself. He’d handle it pretty badly. If he found out that you actively harm yourself, he would refuse to take his eyes off of you and would be monitoring your every movement... You'd suddenly never get a moment to yourself.

When you’re using the bathroom, he’ll be standing next to you the whole time. When you shower, he’ll be showering with you. When you go to sleep, he'll be caging you in his arms.

If you have a job, he might actually force you to quit, just so he can monitor you even further. Either that, or he’ll make you take a temporary leave from work until he knows that you’ve stopped hurting yourself.

It’s… Absolutely not a good way to go about it, he knows this, but it’s the only thing he can think of doing. It's his gut reaction to it all.

Luka would keep asking you ‘why’ as he holds you tightly in his arms, glaring at you while also having pitiful tears in his eyes. For one of the first times in his life, he feels so deeply hurt and confused. He isn't prepared at all to handle the feelings that are bubbling within himself. Luka would also start losing lots of sleep.

When you’re sleeping peacefully in bed beside him, he’d sit up and bed and just… Stare at you for hours.

Slowly, he'd start kissing your cheeks, stroking your hair, and then holding you close as he tries not to be upset with you. He knows that you’re hurting… And he loathes how helpless he feels. While he’s not the biggest advocate for therapy, he would ask you to go see a therapist. He knows that he alone can’t help you– and that it’s impossible for him to just monitor you every second of every day.

If you refuse to see a therapist, he’ll be upset, but he won't force you to go. All he tells you is that if you need it, he’ll listen to you– even though he’s horrible at giving good advice. But at the very least, he’s really good at just listening to you. He’ll remember everything you tell him. And any time you show signs of improvement, he will be proud of you.

As for socially sabotaging yourself, it’s the same as Kairos. All you really need is Luka, so… He won’t stop you from cutting everyone else off. ^^;;

#ask #kairos posting #luka posting

[mauswrites]

Fear (Simon Riley x AFAB!GN!Reader)

A/N: I was recently reminded of my worst fear, that being cryptic pregnancy (No weight gain, no symptoms, no nothing. You don't know about the baby until it's on its way out) and can't stop thinking about it, so I decided to write a fic to get it out of my system. (sorry if this sucks, this is the first fic I've published in like almost a decade)

Genre: hurt/comfort

TW: Blood, mentions of childbirth, medical inaccuracies, possibly OOC Ghost, reader genuinely thinks they're dying

You couldn't sleep.

Not because of the thoughts racing in your mind but of the unbearable pain in your abdomen.

Occam's razor would tell you that it was just your period, but you've never experienced cramps like this before, like being torn in half.

With a huff, you shove the blanket off your body and get up, but as soon as your feet hit the floor, pain shoots up your spine, causing you to crumple to the floor, wailing out in agony. You clutch your stomach, forcing air in and out of your lungs.

Why am I wet? you thought.

The pain had distracted you until now, but you managed to reach for your bedside lamp to see blood running down your legs.

A lot of it, too.

As the fear settled in your bones, you hurry to get your phone and call for an ambulance.

"999, what's your emergency?"

"I don't know what's wrong, I'm in a lot of pain, I can't stop bleeding... I-I can't walk."

"Where are you now?"

You give the address to your flat and hang up when the dispatcher assures you that the ambulance isn't far.

Walking may seem impossible, but you manage to crawl to the front door to unlock it, sitting down in the hall, waiting.

Desperation clings to your heart, and you make one more call, this time to your ex-boyfriend, but it went straight to voicemail.

"Simon? Hey, it's me... I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For my attitude, the arguments, all of it."

The blood loss is getting to you, but you take a ragged breath and press on.

"I think I'm dying, an ambulance is on their way, but–"

The pain spikes suddenly, causing you to scream.

"In case I do, just know that I love you."

Hearing sirens from outside, you hang up and wait, dreading the black spots in your vision.

The ambulance ride is a blur, the EMT asking questions that your brain isn't processing, and you barely remember being put under at the hospital.

As your eyes flutter open hours later, sunlight leaks into the room through the blinds, and your stomach is sore, but you otherwise feel better.

A nurse is still in the room, typing away on the computer in your room.

"What happened?"

She seemed startled yet relieved at your voice, still groggy from sleep.

"This may come as a shock to you,"

Uh oh.

"But you experienced what's called a cryptic pregnancy and needed to undergo an emergency C-section. The bleeding was caused by a tear in your uterine lining, but you'll recover just fine."

Her diagnosis hit you like a brick to the face.

"So... I had a baby?"

"Yes, a little girl; a bit premature, but otherwise healthy."

You merely hum in acknowledgement as you look around the room, your eyes landing on the bassinet.

"Would you like to hold her?" the nurse asked.

"I... yes."

She smiles as she walks around the bed, picking up your daughter and passing her to you.

A lump forms in your throat as you lock eyes with the infant in your arms, hers a deep brown.

"Um... hello," you say, "it's nice to meet you."

As you fall silent, the nurse pipes up once again.

"I'll leave you two be for now. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call for someone."

You quickly thank her before she leaves, closing the door behind her, and you quickly turn your attention back to your daughter.

Your heart and mind were both racing as you admired her, even softly speaking to her every so often. For seconds or hours, you're not quite sure, but you only snapped out of your trance when the door opened.

You watch as Simon comes in and pulls up a chair next to your hospital bed, on the same side as the bassinet, all without a word.

"I'm guessing they wouldn't let you in looking like the Grim Reaper," you joked, taking note of the black surgical mask on his face, "How've you been?"

"I should be asking you," he said, "that voicemail scared the shit outta me."

"I've been..."

What do you even say?

"Honestly, not great; missed you like hell," you admit, casting your eyes back down to your baby and letting her tiny hand grip onto one of your fingers, "but I think I'll be okay."

"Cute little thing," he said, referring to your little girl.

"Thanks, I made it myself."

"Got a name yet?"

"Haven't exactly had much time to think of one," you reply, "got any ideas?"

"You told me you always liked the name Emilia."

"That's true. Seems it's settled then," you do your best to straighten up, "Simon, meet Emilia... Riley?"

"Riley," he confirmed, making you smile for the first time in a while.

"Do you want to hold her?"

He nodded, and you placed a kiss on her forehead before passing her over to him.

She already looked tiny in your arms, but compared to Simon's much bigger frame, she was damn near microscopic. He was practically holding her with just his hands, handling her delicately, like one wrong move would cause her to fall apart.

"What d'you say you come back home," he said, "We try again, be a family."

"Is that actually what you want? I don't want to be the parents that are only together for our child's sake."

"I mean it."

"That's good," you pause, fighting back tears, "Promise I won't be such a bitch this time 'round."

"You say that like I was a saint."

"Then we'll both be better, for each other and for her."

"Deal."

You silently admire the scene before you for a few minutes until the nurse from earlier returns.

She asked some questions about you and the baby, filled in some blanks on the birth certificate, and stepped out to bring you some ice water, leaving you to think about the past twelve hours.

"I'm honestly dreading going back to my flat." you thought aloud.

"Why?" Simon asked. He carefully placed Emilia back in the bassinet, giving you his full attention.

"There's blood everywhere."

"I'll take care of it; you just rest up and heal," he stood as he spoke, taking off his mask to kiss your temple, but before he had a chance to walk away, you placed a hand on his shoulder, urging him to stay.

"Promise you'll come back?"

"Promise."

As he left, the weight of the situation settled deep in your bones, but you found solace in knowing that you wouldn't have to face it alone, and that things would hopefully turn out better this time around.

#simon riley x reader #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #tw blood #fanfiction #x reader #fluff #hurt/comfort

[crimsonhydrangeavn]

I got a question for Garrett, what would happen if MC decided pamper him

Like complimenting him daily

Telling him to rest and spend time

Reminding him he's enough and that perfection isn't always the answer and that MC fell in love because who he truly is and not the one he shows outside of Saint Anne

Instead of going out to dinner, making home cooked meals and etc.

And also help him get the proper help he really needs. That poor baby needs a hug ;-;

Oh my, this is literally the sweetest ask ever! Just the thought of you taking the time to try and heal Garret warms my heart! So much so I'll can't help but share a few little spoilers about his past. I'll make sure to mark them so you don't accidentally spoil yourself if you don't want to!

Honestly, I think Garret's initial reaction would be to happily accept the compliments, home cooked meals, and quality time chalking it up as what a "healthy" relationship should look like. That being said, he would absolutely spoil you and reciprocate all of those sweet and loving gestures.

When it comes to the positive affirmations and being told that he doesn't need to be perfect... well it'll take some time for him to fully believe your words.

At first he'd think your just being kind and saying what expected of wonderful life partner. However, once it sunk in that you were being genuine and you actually meant it... He'd have a really difficult time accepting it.

SPOILER STARTS BELOW

Garret was raised to be his parent's golden only child. That being said, nothing he did was ever enough for his parents. Straight A's? Why not straight A+'s? You won first place in a race? Why aren't you competing in the nationals? What's that? You won a national competition? Why didn't you beat the previous record? Oh you did? Well you need to focus on other extracurriculars if you want to get into the same Ivy league school your father went to. Nothing he did was ever enough for them, however he was far better than his classmates when it came to nearly everything. Grades, athletics, extracurriculars, looks, body, social acumen, etc. All of the girls in his private school wanted to be with him and all of the guys wanted to be him.

However he never saw any of them to be worthy of his time, not until you came along that is...

END SPOILER

The thought of someone like you, the object of ALL of his affections, believing that he's worthy? That he doesn't have to run several miles a day and practically starve himself to maintain his model-esque figure? That he doesn't have to spoil you in riches beyond your wildest dreams?

It'll be a lot for him to understand and accept. However, once he finally believes your sincerity, the poor guy cling onto you and will break down into heart-wrenching sobs.

Finally, finally someone accepts him. Not for the perfect mask he's been trained to wear from a young age, but actually loves and accepts him for who he is on the inside.

And it's not just anyone. It's you. The one he adores, the one he's been completely and hopelessly devoted to since he first saw you, the only one that truly matters.

He would be a completely wreck, but with your patience and kind words he might actually have a shot at healing himself and actual redemption.

Of course, that'll all depend on your actions in and outside of game. ; )

#original character #yandere #yandere visual novel #yanderes #male yandere #yandere vn #crimson hydrangea #visual novel #crimson hydrangea vn #ask #garre #garret belmont

[pap3rcherry]

HI could I have a SMG3 x reader who is always smiling even when they are angry. Actually if reader would be angry they would be like "☺️💢" y'know?

So if you don't feel comfortable it's fine!

୨୧ BREAK A NECK ✮⋆˙

SMG3 X READER WHO ALWAYS SMILE

A/N: Ooo i like this one, i was a bit off because of the meds i took, so if i find something wrong when im better ill edit it😊👍🏼

Type: Romantic, fluff, headcanons

Triggers:some vague mentions of neglecting your own feelings but thats it.

Song recommendation: Break a neck

୨୧ First of all: he found your demeanor a bit creepy when he first met you, like how your always smiling is something that not much people could do, and the people who did it are either psychopaths or have some type of disability who keeps them from doing any other type of expressions.

୨୧ So when he met you he first thought there was something wrong with you but when he found out you were actually doing that on your own, he was creeped out a bit but tried to just ignore it.

୨୧ Smg3 would get extra close to you after some time when he saw you were very pleasant and cool to be around even with your creepy smile, he liked being around you after some time<3

୨୧ However, he doesnt really like to see you mad because you go all "😁💢" like a sociopath and he wouldnt like to fuck around and find out what you may be able to do to others since your reaction when mad is already creepy itself.

୨୧ But taking that aside, he actually appreciates your abilities to stay smiling all the time, its impressing, although, it does worry him sometimes because that can also mean that you are neglecting your feelings, he's not therapist but he does know that doing that is not healthy.

୨୧ If you do neglect your feelings, he would not be happy and would try to help you stop smilling some times, key word: try, he would not be like, 100% professional on it since he is not really used to comforting someone.

୨୧ He lowkey would find it strange if you stopped smiling at some point, like he got so used to you always smiling that if you actually stopped smiling Smg3 is going to be all like: "are you sick?! are you really you?!" and etc.

୨୧ If someone criticizes or make fun of your behavior, Smg3 would kick their ass for you, you wouldnt have to move a finger to get rid of them, dont worry, he got your back<3

୨୧ Would call you "smiley" or some shit like that, it would be either to tease you a bit or to genuinely have something to call you, either way, hes having fun with it.

#smg3 x reader #reader x smg3 #headcanons smg3 #smg4 #smg3 #supermarioglitchy3 #headcanons #sfw #x reader #fluff #୨୧ cherry works

[vimbry]

"nanobots" the song is this deconstructed view of child development and parenthood where it's like, 'wow have you ever thought about how weird producing offspring is. like, it's weird, right! we make these little people and they quickly grow into their own individual personalities with their own lives and autonomy and I've lost all authority and there's so many and you've gotta be responsible for them all the time, what did I do !!!'

but as well as approaching it with this slightly overwhelmed perspective, there's a sort of affectionate optimism in there, too. that even tho the concept's intimidating, there's a sense of wonder in how humans develop and raising them and watching them grow up. hey this kid thing's fun actually, yeah I wish they'd leave me alone sometimes, but look at how cute and resilient they are look at what they can do. and then "replicant" is like jesus parenting a teenager is hard.

#tmbg #it's a tough competition with about 200 songs #but I honestly think ''I turn my back for two minutes and they've grown again'' is one of tmbg's most poignant lyrics #it's not an original sentiment and one that could even be viewed as somewhat sentimental and hokey with a less skilled execution #like what person or piece of art Hasn't expressed the bittersweet experience of feeling a child's growing up too quickly a million times #but there's just something about the way it's slotted into nanobots #nanobots is honestly cute. and I don't mean that in a reductive ''cutesy'' way I mean as a good thing it's just genuinely very adorable #from a band whose music is a lot of things but you wouldn't typically describe as ''adorable'' #I think it's because their songs so often Don't carry this sort of tone that it works in the same way ''another first kiss'' does #there's an uncountable amount of lovesongs in the world. like. THE most popular theme. what can you say that hasn't already been expressed #but lines like ''we've run out of things to say. and we'll be happy any way'' and ''grabs my coat to walk away'' #are just such beautifully deceptively simplistic ways to express the mundanity of a healthy relationship #they like each other's company still after all these years and they share their clothes waaah #anyway to get back on topic I love nanobots much for the same reasons as ''I love you for psychological reasons'' and ''mammal'' lmao #myautismhasnothingtodowiththis.jpg

[compacflt]

my apologies if this is too simple or juvenile or personal a question but HOW did you become such a proficient writer? and do you have any tips or pointers to keep in mind? i know you must do a lot of reading and a lot of writing, but your skill is just incredible to me. your prose!! your cadence!! when we get around to talking about it is genuinely one of the best things i've ever read and i'd eat it if i could!!!

this ask was so sweet thank you!! rly made my day when i needed a boost. Hope you don’t mind i took a couple days to think about it cause no one’s ever asked me for writing advice before

idk how i became a “proficient” writer bc I really don’t write that much. something about my fic gave me brainworms and i went into overdrive but that’s…not my usual MO. which is why it’s weird for me too. admittedly i am studying english/creative writing as my second major at uni, but i haven’t learned anything in any of my classes you couldn’t learn by just reading and writing on your own. honestly i should’ve stuck with my IR major instead, i find structured cw classes a complete waste of time. but here are some little tips i thought of that would’ve helped ME:

This is more a “do as I say not as I do” because I’m really bad at habits like this, but keep a diary. You can write about the big events (went to the store, did homework, got laid etc.) but that’s boring—focus on the details (watched someone at west side market throw a glass bottle of olives at a rat, broke a pen and permanently stained my dorm desk and won’t get my deposit back which pissed me off because I move out in a week, this guy’s breath smelled like lemon pledge and it made me wonder if he drank window cleaner before kissing me etc.). Real life is really interesting! How can you write about interesting real life in an interesting way? It’s a good way to practice. You don’t have to do a big reflection at the end of the day or anything. It’s okay to jot down something you saw & then immediately forget about it. It’s the act of figuring out how to translate life into words that’s important

If you type, learn how to type FAST. This is just my experience, but I think typing faster makes your cadence, clause length, dialogue, IDEAS flow better/more naturally. We think in words/sentences, not letters.

This is a super lame tip that’ll make you roll your eyes, but read poetry. Poetry is all about how words/ideas/images sound and interact with each other. Don’t get hung up on one poet—im not really recommending any for precisely this reason—read poetry you love (for me, Ada Limón, Jack Kerouac, Frank O’Hara, ghazals etc) AND read poetry you hate (for me, Rupi Kaur, Emily Dickinson, Whitman, etc)! Read all genres you can get your hands on. (I think there are like “great poetry anthologies” you can find for free online if u don’t know where to start. Also you can’t go wrong with subscribing to/reading a variety magazine like the NYer. It’s pretentious but it exposes you to all kinds of weird topics, ways of writing about them, etc.) Figure out how certain combinations of words and punctuations make you FEEL, and why, and why the writer chose (or not) to make you feel that way. Figure out which literary sounds you like and which ones you don’t. For me, i figured out that I REALLY like alliteration, comma splices, zeugmas, the rule of three, and

“he’s [verb]ing again… yeah compacflt’s characters are [verb]ing again… big shocker”

If you have an idea for a piece, figure out what it is you really want to get out of it—to say something? to experiment with a different style? to see your fav characters do something? to have fun?—and then figure out how, on a technical level, you should write to match that goal (this is where the poetry training comes in handy). If you’re just writing to have fun, don’t listen to any writing advice (incl. mine), because most of it is bullshit and over-generalized and will make you feel bad about yourself. Just take the advice that you think will work for what YOURE trying to write.

But if you’re writing to explore some political idea, then you should think about HOW to best write about that idea. What would be a convincing story/allegory/scene to engage with this idea vs. not convincing. I talk on this blog all the time about how disappointed I am that my very-adult-grown-up attempt to deal with the dynamic of “immovable internalized homophobia vs unstoppable falling in love anyway” is rendered a little childish/immature by some pretty unconvincing plot points like the characters buying a house together—I really should have considered how that plot point would interact with the characterizations I’d built already (hint: poorly). You can think of writing as kind of a military structure if that helps—you have strategy on the overarching campaign (plot/character growth/allegory/theme) level, the battle (scene that advances the above) level, and the tactical (sentence-level construction/syntax/wording) level. They all have to work together. If a scene is failing to properly engage with the idea you’re trying to convey, you’re losing a battle that will weaken the overarching campaign. Same thing if you choose a weird word in a sentence/write in a style or tone that’s weirdly out of place with your idea—it makes your engagement with the theme/idea less convincing. just try to be purposeful and consider your strategy on all levels of your work as you’re writing it!! At the very least it’ll make editing easier lol.

But then again when I read my own writing from just a couple months ago I cringe out of my skin, so like—just also accept that it’s a process and we’re all just making it up as we go along. Be proud of being embarrassed of your old work, because it means you’re growing. Own that shit. When I finished writing WWGATTAI i thought it was the best thing I’d ever written, and maybe it was. But since the day I finished working on it, it’s the worst thing I’ve written since then. That’s a great feeling. Not to be like writing grindset obviously bc it’s supposed to be fun—but if what you want is to get better at writing, the strategy is to WRITE a whole bunch of shit, and then own your embarrassment about how much you’ve grown since you started. And know you’re still always growing and learning. there should never be any “goals” where skills are concerned 👍🏽

#fake it till u make it #the good part about fiction is all you’re really doing is makin shit up #no rules!!! #fiction is just trying to sell a lie right #so it’s all on a sliding scale of convincability (at least that’s how i judge fiction) #and figuring out how to convince people of your lie is where the art is #anyway. #not top gun #asks #writing tips #idk how to tag this #also i love ao3 because trying to get published traditionally genuinely made me hate writing/MY writing #i have indeed had the cliche 100+ form rejection letters experience #unfortunately writing is also one of those things where you can see it as a competition so easily #(admittedly a small part of why i don’t read other TG fics—i don’t wanna read people doing it better than me😭) #BUT you tailor your experience to have a healthy life. it’s not a competition if you don’t make it one. put yourself first

[jamesisasimp]

Okay, so I think the way I see it, right?

James would always try to remove the idea of Regulus being a 'prince'. He's not an heir, he's not royalty, he's not confined to anything. He's just his

Now the difference with Barty, is that Reg is his prince. He'll let him sit on his back or shoulders to see above a crowd, he'll always let him have the last chicken nugget, Reg can steal all of his clothes, even Barty's favorite

And that's the difference

#that's not to say James wouldn't ALSO do all those things #but with Barty it's unconscious #and there's not one better than the other either! #James knocks Reg off his pedestal and makes him realize his worth for who he is not who his parents made him #and that is so good and healthy #but I think our Reg genuinely likes the spoils #he loves the idea of coming first in someone's life #and BABE that is Barty to a TEE #and is that because he's self sacrificing to try to make up for the fact that he was never good enough for his dad? #MAYBE #but he is always good enough for Reg #and Reg will get spoiled like he likes without the strings attached that his parents' love always came with #anyways #I think this accurately reflects my shift from jegulus to bartylus #love and respect both!! #but #✨bartylus✨ #jegulus #starchaser #bartylus #regulus black #james potter #barty crouch jr #marauders

[lovecatsys]

I've probably said this before but. What Akihiro unconsciously looks for in relationships (both romantic and platonic) is stability, someone who he can pretend to be someone else, a better person with and have the kind of relationship that is genuinely good for him. And I say unconscious because not only does he not realize he's doing this but he probably gets mad when he realizes he does it, because he goes out of his way to project a certain image about himself and has self destructive tendencies because at first he genuinely did not care about Healing, about changing and becoming a better person. And when he invites people into his life like Laura, Johnny and Gabby they try to get him to change because those behaviors are hurtful to them, and he just can't have that. He and Johnny wouldn't have worked out at the time in his life where they met because he was not in the right place to change himself, so he destroyed what they had while destroying everything he had in his life because he was dying and saw no point anymore. But with Laura and Gabby he actually let them in and let them change him, because he was in a better place in his life (and also who can say no to two little sisters with autism creature eyes). And to me this is why I can see him with people like Johnny, Bobby and Carl romantically and not with people like Bullseye because they will ultimately cause more destruction to his life and he may seek that out, as a form of self harm but he could never fall in love with that. He needs someone who will inspire him to change, and he's had far too many toxic, unhealthy relationships in his life.

#akihiro #i really hate when people ship him and bobby but only because of the toxicity #i think their original meetjng is SO funny and such a fun dynamic but if they are actually going to date #it would have to be a situation where akihiro is genuinely inspired to change for Bobby #which would probably mean he would have to be redeemed first and they connect again #i LOVE toxic unhealthy relationships and i find a lot of the ones hes been in fascinating #but i just CANT ship that because it is not right for him and god he needs a healthy relationship for fucking once #its also another reason i dont totally hate him and jeanne-marie #because despite the. poor writing of their relationship i do see her as being someone that could work out for him #x men

[dreamlogic]

quietly getting more & more annoyed at my housemate & her bf as the evening goes on. thought they were at his house this weekend but they showed up unexpectedly to have loud sex here, left for a little bit, came back in the middle of a fight, and are now watching tv really loudly in between continuing to totally-not-fight-everything's-FINE.

#ctxt #shit chat #they're both rly nice people who genuinely love each other a lot & have been together like 7 years #but in the time i've known them they just keep playing out the same maladaptive patterns together and it's painful to watch #one of them will be irritable for some reason and snap at the other; other responds by airing a deep-seated grievance they've been sittin on #and instead of just. having a conflict about it to its conclusion to resolve the issue they just both fall over themselves apologizing #and spend several hours being really touchy & reactive to little things but overwhelmingly gentle/reassuring/affectionate #person A: *snaps* im sorry baby i didn't mean it i'm just stressed i love you so much can i do anything for you? #person B: no no my love you're fine i'm not mad i understand can i do anything for YOU you're so special i care about you so much #*make out in the kitchen about it a bit. swap roles rinse & repeat* #like i know turning towards a loved one after conflict instead of giving them the cold shoulder is a sign of emotional maturity #and is generally a healthy communication habit #but like. you gotta actually HAVE the conflict first instead of glossing over it the minute difficult emotions come up??? #and when they get in these loops i really think they should just. agree on a mutual time out to do their own thing for a day #calm down sort themselves out and then come back together to mend things #instead of just reflexively drawing closer together immediately to try and smother discontent #which just results in them still being upset and now tripping over each other bumping elbows exacerbating things #while being obnoxiously saccharine to cover it up #i mean. 7 yrs is nothing to sneeze at but imo this is. not a sustainable way of relating & building a life together #and it sucks to watch it play out. reminds me of my parents who were blissfully incompatible in a similar way for like 30 years #before it finally blew up spectacularly with a lot of collateral damage earlier this year.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

your tags on parenting make me super emotional <3 that's exactly the kind of parent I want to be one day

Thanks! I feel the same way honestly. I have a lot of opinions about parenting and I can't say that I will be the perfect parent because that doesn't exist. I can't even say that my hypothetical future kid/kids will be perfect because children don't grow in a vacuum. I can only control what I do and say and try to be the best version of myself and hope for the best.

#i often hear people say that involved parenting is too difficult to be realistic or that modeling behavior is too hard #and yeah. yeah it is. it is one of the most difficult things a person can do. but who the fuck has a kid thinking it'll be easy? #kids are hard work and commitment. they should never be something done on a whim. you should never half ass raising a kid #and not to say that people should be perfect all the time or that people shouldn't have 'me' time #its just that i genuinely don't understand people who shove their kid into as many activities as possible to get away from them #or put all their hopes and dreams and expectations on them. if it's so easy and attainable to live up to your expectations as a parent #then do it first. you want your kid to have straight A's? great. show me your report card at that age #im just... kids are just people. and they just want to hang out with their parents and receive love and attention #and anyway ive lost my point im just very passionate about this topic #very passionate #when im older and financially stable I want to foster teenagers i think. i want to be there for them and model healthy adult behavior #and help them make that transition. i want to be that person for them. because everyone needs help and love and family #and honestly? my parents fostered kids my entire life. THEY MODELED THAT BEHAVIOR #i understand that family is not a given. i understand that family is above all else forged. and that applies to everyone #not just found family or fostering. if you don't know your bio child then can you really call yourself family? #family is *forged* regardless of the context. and if it isn't? if you skip that step with your bio kids? well thats a major fucking issue #anyway nothing but respect for my parents who bought groceries for my foster sister when she was out of care. FOR MONTHS #nothing but respect for my parents who took me with them to give my foster sister their old stroller when she needed it #nothing but respect for my parents who take in my old foster brother every weekend to 'babysit' because they know he isnt in a loving house #nothing but respect for my parents who adopted my siblings without a word when they asked #honestly they are why i am who i am today. i was a kid with adhd and learning disabilities who hated school #and now I'm an honors student and getting my doctorate. because they did the academia with me #and im not saying they did my schoolwork. im saying that they assigned books to read over the summer and we would read them as a family #and we would discuss the literary concepts and themes together as a family. i love dissecting media! and thats because of my parents! #it was a family activity! same goes for science and art and music #and coding and history ect ect #anyway im going off on a tangent but basically what im saying is that my parents didn't ship me off to camp every summer #we just did things as a family together. i remember the time and bonding with them. and i modeled that behavior #and not to brag but i think I turned out alright #anyway tangent over!

[alolanrain]

I am genuinely thinking of a design for legendary/ash and it’s a mix between a rabbit, dog and a deer somehow mixed with a base of Mewtwo’s body.

#and I specifically will say all three and not just one #almost like a Mewtwo Jackalope but with a healthy amount of canine feathers #I genuinely might make a spin off of my Ta!au with Ash and instead of aura he’s genuinely NOT the first human/Pokémon hybrid- #-there’s defiantly gotta be more testing against humans with how many evil teams there are- #-but Ash is the first to be so unrivaled in power #and just IMAGINE his connection to aura could be #fully cryptic ash babyyyyy

[furtivitee]

《 01. 𝖱𝖤𝖫𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖯𝖲 & 𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖱𝖳𝖡𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖪 》

𝙺𝚈𝙻𝙴'𝚂 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝚂𝚃 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝙽𝙻𝚈    long-term relationship was with a man by the name of  Rooney  and began shortly before his graduation from secondary school, after an extensive period of friendship, spanning nearly the entirety of his schooling ⸻ and not long after his official, tense, coming out. It was a timid, uncertain, but sweet affair; a chaste kiss on the cheek and a whispered confession under the shade of a courtyard tree, where no eyes cared enough to turn their way. It was perhaps the happiest Kyle had been in his life up until that point: a best friend and longtime crush become lover ⸻ truly the ideal dream for most, no ?

Following the rather lukewarm response from his parents to his coming out, Rooney became the closest thing he had to a home where Kyle felt he could be his  truest, most honest self.  After his enlistment, Kyle's visits home were most spent in his company, when his family didn't absolutely demand his attention  (  which typically only truly happened around holidays and his birthday  ).  Despite their clear and vocal disapproval, Kyle's parents didn't, and still don't, love or respect him any less, treating Rooney with the kindness and respect that they would a partner of the opposite sex  ...  on the surface;  the undercurrent of  discomfort  still hung faint and unspoken in the room around them anytime Kyle would bring Rooney to visit ⸻ which, needless to say, was not often, despite most visits passing pleasantly, well, even.

Despite the feelings of his parents, Kyle's  extended family  (  those Kyle's age and younger, at least  )  took to Rooney like fire to a pyre, melding him into the family as if he belonged. It was  peaceful.  It was comfortable. Soon enough, the disapproval of Kyle's family began to roll off his shoulders when the majority of his family was present, only the small, intimate visits weighing with discomfort.

For years, their relationship remained strong and even grew  stronger.  They kept in contact regularly, Kyle making sure to phone him whenever he was free and able, texting while he wasn't actively working or otherwise engaged. The  distance stung,  but it was bearable. After just two years of service, they were able to afford a flat together, with Rooney responsible for his own necessities while Gaz was away. Shortly after Gaz's promotion to sergeant, he was able to afford not only a larger, nicer flat, but he was also able to pay the rent on his own, leaving Rooney to finally focus on university and work part time to afford necessities and spending money. A risky arrangement, but  Kyle trusted Rooney  more than he trusted anyone in the world; he'd never do anything to hurt him.

Oh, how foolish he had been.

Shortly after elimination of Major Hassan Zayani in Chicago, Kyle took the awarded leave with high spirits, prepared to not only surprise Rooney at home, but to share the news ⸻ as much of it as he was legally allowed, at least ⸻ with the one person he wanted to see most. But what greeted him upon arrival was not  the smiling, pleasantly surprised face of his lover, but the face of that lover,  sweating and white as a sheet  as he was caught red handed with  another man  in their bed.

Kyle had wanted to rage, he'd wanted violence  (  he'd wanted bloodshed  )  ⸻  but he did none of them. Instead, he'd simply turned on his heel and left, ignoring the shouts of his name, the half-assed apologies  (  lies, his brain had hissed  ), and gotten back into his car, driving until his vision was too blurry to clearly read the traffic signs, until he had no choice but to let out all of the emotion bubbling, boiling,  BURNING  in his chest, poisoning his insides like venom. His outburst was violent, noisy, and so distinctly out of character, he was somewhat relieved he was alone. He needed a new phone by the end of it, smashed and broken beyond repair in a fit of rage at the repeated, insistent calls from the last person he ever wanted to hear from again  (  did he even want him  alive ?  ).

He'd stayed in a hotel that night, gotten a new phone and a new number the next morning. And just a few short hours later, the fee was paid for an  early termination of his lease,  and his valuables were removed from the flat while Rooney was in class, only a note left behind explaining how much time he had to vacate the premisis, and to sell anything in the flat he didn't wish to keep  (  and a  thinly veiled threat  of what would happen, should he ever attempt to contact him again  ).

He'd spent the rest of the day with his parents ⸻ who, thankfully, had very little to say about the abrupt end to his relationship other than offering their sympathy for his broken heart ⸻ and the evening and night drinking with the cousins that were available on such short notice.

The next morning, Kyle was back at base. Five days early.

#「 𝙶𝙰𝚁𝚁𝙸𝙲𝙺 𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴𝚂: 𝚄𝚃𝙸𝙻𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙴𝚂 :// headcanons. 」 #ha...haha.... #ok so. gaz already has a healthy dose of caution with new people and being friendly doesn't equal trust #he is a very friendly and civil person by nature and often wont be outwardly rude to anyone without reason or provocation #but genuine trust is something that is very heavy and serious to gaz and very few people have it (141. laswell. and nik) #so with him being that way...rooney really damaged gaz's ability to trust and love freely #and ofc the betrayal with shepherd and shadow company happening shortly before that with rooney...hoo boy #anyway ! #here have this #i should have posted his family ties headcanon first but this one has been sitting heavy in my brain for too long to put it off #i also didn't proofread this so #if u see any typos in this post no u dont #eventually i will update this post with a link to his family ties post that will go where that extended family link is

[hella1975]

i know i complain about my job but that's bc it IS a job not a hobby alas there are silver linings to it and one of those by far is how genuinely happy my work friends are to see me whenever i come back from uni. like the one girl im really close with gave me a massive hug and was fuming with me when i told her im only back for the one shift (she also tackled me to the kitchen floor and all the chefs conveniently 'didn't see anything' when i appealed for witnesses 😐) and the Bar Boys as they've come to be named like a fucked up pub boyband (we obviously have a lot of bar staff but there's a couple lads that are there most often and are also around my age and are all like. the really endearing actually sweet kind of fuckboy? strawberry guy is one of them. im not proud of myself) were all so happy to see me bc a lot of us went out together on new year's and they all get weirdly excited asking about how uni is etc and it's all very flirty but like. the jokey platonic kind yk. and the kp that's SO rude to almost all of the waitresses except her favourites literally shouted 'oi where the bloody hell have you been???' over several other people when she saw me and she's so chatty to me to the point it impacts my work lmao and i was joking with all the chefs bc im mates with a couple of them and there was a lot of 'oh god she's back' from the lads and just excited squeals of my name from the girls and strawberry guy came over to me when i was having a drink at the bar after work and tried to convince me to come in tomorrow to see him again before i go to uni even though i live miles away in the sticks and yeah. i love them lol

#like coming back to my hometown has so few positives for me #if my mum wasnt here i truly dont think id ever fucking come back unless i was DRAGGED #so that's truly why i come back. to earn money and to see my mum that's IT #and that was always the plan when i got this job like i have a very healthy respect for the difference between a job and a hobby #and before this job id never even LIKED the jobs i did i genuinely just thought it was normal to hate your job and hate your colleagues #but as much as i slag the pub off i just really really like it #i love the work i love that im good at it and i love love love the staff #like this is the first time my colleagues are also my friends and it makes such a difference #bc we go out with each other outside of work and we talk about EVERYTHING (ive said it before and ill say it again #NO ONE has gossip like the floor staff of a pub do) and we have a laugh AT work #and it's FUN it's genuinely a fun way to make money #so when im in a town that i despise where i dont feel happy or even comfortable with my hometown mates anymore #it's very easy to feel lonely and depressed and all those things ive associated with my hometown #so yeah idk. i guess im trying to explain why all those things in this post that are just very basic friendly interactions #are actually so sweet and hopeful for me in particular #hella slaves to capitalism #hella goes home

[applesandbannas747]

Wait, I'm confused... do you like the Fence novels or no? Because your first review sounded positive and happy with the fun humor, and then every other thing I've seen from you about them is most pointing out the (very prominent, very not-good) flaws with them.

fair question! I had a Journey with the Fence novels and it was hellish. First, please keep in mind that I am unhealthily fixated on Fence and that does impact things all along the way.

When Striking Distance was announced, I was as excited as anyone, though wary because Pacat was handing it off to someone else to write. Still, I was hopeful--and more hopeful after reading In Other Lands because, despite the disturbing sexism that squicked me tf out, I really enjoyed that book! And so I was very eager to get my hands on Striking Distance. So I went on an absolute quest to get an ARC...and I did! It took a lot of dead ends and desperate tries, but remember that I'm insane. So I got my hands on an advanced copy by emailing the editor assigned to the book (who has since left the position). And as is custom with ARCs, he asked me to send my review when it went live.

Reading Striking Distance was such an experience dude. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the comics--remember that at this point, we only had up to issue 12 and the characterization therein. I love the OG 12 issues, and they'll always hold more sway in my understanding of the characters, but when reading SD, it was very clear that I'd read the entire comic completely fucking wrong. Remember my unhealthy obsession? Yeah. Trying to come to terms with Fence being something so opposite of everything I really loved about it and the fact that my reading of it was so wrong was really hard--like mental breakdowns level of hard. I wish I was joking. But I tried to force myself to love the reality of Fence anyway, despite kind of hating the novel, which I absolutely would not admit to myself because disliking any part of Fence felt like SUCH a betrayal to it, and I really really really didn't want to hate the characters I'd spent so much time bringing to life in my mind, because selfishly I didn't want to have to divorce my idea of the characters from canon, I just wanted to be able to love the canon characters and add onto them a little the way I'd been able to with the comics up until that point. So especially right after reading Striking Distance, I was insistent on liking it, and even as I slowly started to acknowledge that there were parts of it that made me want to scratch off my skin they made me so uncomfortable (see: the steak scene), I was really hell-bent on understating my dislike/criticism of it.

So when I went to write my review for Striking Distance to send to the really nice editor who sent me the ARC, I didn't want to betray Fence, I hadn't really processed my issues with it (and was--and honestly still am to an extent--worried that I was just being an entitled baby because my stupid fanfictions/interpretations were so fucking wrong), I didn't want to upset or hurt the feelings of the man who did me this HUGE favor, and because I wanted a chance to get an early copy of a possible sequel (because hating the novels didn't lesson my Need for early access to them. i know I'm unwell about fence jdhfa), I pulled out all the nicest thoughts I had about Striking Distance, exaggerated them and stretched them and sugar-coated everything else to provide a review that was nice and non-hostile.

Obviously, the longer I sat with Striking Distance and processed some things about it and about me, the more I started picking apart all the aspects that I hated and found I was able to produce reasons for each piece I disliked and was also able to pinpoint in the OG comics where I got all the pieces of the stories and characters I loved. So I did have to divorce my idea of Fence from canon if I wanted to keep loving Fence. And when I decided to keep loving Fence for all the reasons I used to instead of feel sick looking at/thinking about the franchise and characters, I was sort of free of the things holding me back from speaking about the things I didn't like, and so I started to analyze and essay and post about the novels and my untangled, truthful thoughts about them.

So I don't like the novels--there are maybe 3-4 things total that passed the vibe-check for me in both novels. I never liked the novels, and I lied about liking Striking Distance...but I was lying to myself about that one as much as anyone. And I haven't changed that review because, at the time, that was where my feelings were about it. So up it stays.

Here’s my fun little list of some of the places I've explained my dislike of the novels if you're curious, but yeah these are the real thoughts, the SD review was a carefully crafted lie <3

My full review of Disarmed

Autism representation in Seiji

Seiji in general

Eugene

Eugesse as a concept in Disarmed

Eugesse interactions in Disarmed

Nick's bisexuality

Coach Williams and sexual harassment

#jackshit #jacksalt #thanks for the ask!💜 #my reaction to and the impact on my mental health from SD was in fact so deranged and unhealthy that it's a huge factor #of what pushed me to pursue professional help and diagnosis to understand and cope with my emotions #it did not take long for them to clock the autism and bipolar #anyway i did get on mood stabilizers and have an explanation for why I'm like this #unfortunately it does not make me any LESS like this #and so i am feral about fence and it is not always in a good and healthy way <3 #i am aware my negativity about the novels is upsetting to people but genuinely if i DONT hate the novels #i have to hate Fence itself #and fence is one of the reasons I'm still chugging along so i cant afford to lose it XD #fence novels #disarmed negative #fun fact this is the first time i took a break from fence to write an OG novel instead with an idea id planned for a fic #because if the characters in my head arent actually fence characters then i might as well write original fiction for my ocs #and that was good because it gave me the distance i needed (which is funny because by distance i mean that i was writing my novel side #by side with promised things lmfao) AND also proved to me that i love writing for fence too much to leave it and i hated the novel too much #to accept it as canon #so i packed up my ocs back into my little kerchief on my little stick and marched back over to ao3 and kept writing about them #as if they're fence characters #so to the people still with me at this point know that i love you and your readership means everything to me <3 #fence comic

[emypony]

.

#damn babygirl i wish people checked up on me more #this self conscious catgirl is so tired #sometimes i WISH people just came into my dms to ask me if im ok #i do it constantly to others because i hope theyre not as sad as i am feeling in that moment #genuinely afraid to have made someone feel bad and drive them away from me #and omg i feel nyself running thin again just bc im afraid to lose the interactions we have altogether because i cant process certain media #in a healthy way whatsoever and i get super hung up on thinfs that really dont matter that much in the end #YEAH IM RAMBLING IT'S 5:30 AM AND I COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD IM JUST CRYING FOR A STUPID REASON!! #i think ive only had one person check up on me based off the vibes in chat i gave off alone in the past couple of months #which was baffling and surreal btw and i think it broke something within me #it came from someone i wouldve never expected to even notice because sometimes it feels like its such a vast difference between us #i sometimes even wonder how are we friends in the first place #like do i even deserve to call this person my friend do they feel like that? or are we just discord acquaintances? #anyway all this just made me sad and my dumb ass is crying and yearning to be loved by my online peers thats all lol. meows pathetically #idk i guess i just.want to hear / see it more rather than just teying to tell myself that over and over hoping im not deluding myself abt i #personal #sorry for the emotions dump idk whats wrong with me tonight actually #me having to come to terms with the reality that i actually have a following and this might get boticed by more than 2 ppl #bc not everyone follows 3k blogs like i am :skull emoji: yknow #im probably gonna delete later because im actually a super self conscious person to the point i get nauseatingly anxious about it holy shit #i dont vent often and im 120% keeping it in but when i do oh boy #the dam bursts and im left like a sopping wet dog on the floor looking like a sad blob #which i am feeling like right now! #vent #emy rambles #ALSO LIKE THIS ISNT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS OMG I AM #k really am #sometimes its still like. idk. unbelievable to me that people are genuinely interacting with me and the things i write or headcanon #and i shouldn't expect them to know whats wrong with me or if i feel bad if i dont say it or communicate that to them #but yknow one can yearn