#but he did help me figure out some stuff with my other game so ig he's useful

[embersofhope-if]

^^me looking at my bestfriend after i showed him the logo i made for embers of hope, and all he says is "okay youve got the songbird but where's the snake"

#emma thoughts🕊 #he gave me no other notes. #hes really helpful if you guys cant tell #but he did help me figure out some stuff with my other game so ig he's useful #emma rambles #he also says you guys are weird with how much you like angst #but its okay bc i love yall and thats all that matters

[somethinginworl]

He would not fucking say that - Kirby franchise edition (Results)

Well! Seems like a lot of people had a lot to say about mischaracterized Kirby characters, as a matter of fact, there were a whooping 57 entries! Well, let’s get going with them, shall we? Just,,, beware that this is a LOOONG post.

Haltmann

The dude 100% did fucked up shit and needs to be held accountable but people seem to so easily forget the degree he was influenced/corrupted by Star Dream. I don't understand why people hate Haltmann and love Star Dream who is arguably the actual reason HWC started colonizing and draining planets. Also the fact that Haltmann isn't conventionally attractive to the majority of the fandom makes him less sympathetic ig?? But the dude is a grieving father who made mistakes that sent him down a spiral into being corrupted and then deleted by a heartless machine. I can't help but pity him

Prince Fluff

Go on ao3. Look in his tag on tumblr. He exists only to be Kirby or Shadow Kirby's love interest most of the time, with no personality of his own.

He barely gets recognized anymore, and if he does, it's usually as a ship Prince Fluff was a big part of my childhood, with Epic Yarn being my first game. To me, he was Kirby's fellow main character, and they had a cool sibling/best friend relationship. But now, a lot of what I see of him is just . . . Kirfluff. Which is cool and all, but man's a prince! He can do more than be a boyfriend! Heck, he runs an entire kingdom by himself! One thing that I want to see more of is Fluff as a stressed but caring ruler, not just a sidekick/boyfriend to the pink puff. Give yarn boy his deserved appreciation!.

Dark Meta Knight

Hello! I am here to spread the good word of a character with no personality. It's the mirror thing. Of course.  Dark Meta Knight has No Personality. Zero. Nada. Zilch. He's Meta Knight but Dark. What does that mean? Your guess. He fights Meta Knight. And wins lmao skill issue blueboy. And fights Kirby. And loses a few times, which isn't surprising. He was dumb enough to split Kirby in four, though. Four times the Kirby is four times the amount your ass is grass. You're practically a forest at that point because you're so grass. So he's violent and has no personality outside of being violent. Woo! Triple Deluxe has him attack Dedede in Dededetour inside the Mirror. This has led people to think he fucked over Sectonia. This makes my heart bleed as much as Taranza probably did when he was punted off of Royal Road via Fuck You Lightning Ball. My man just has no sense of timing,,,, They just wanted to include a Meta Knight battle because Knight Battles are a Kirby standard at this point,,, You think a man that stupid can figure out how to take advantage of a woman's insecurity? I don't even know if he knows women exist. How many female Amazing Mirror characters are there??? Boxy??? Moley mentions having a wife once and Dameta doesn't know what he means. But other than being driven to immense violence and being scapegoated for the stuff his boss probably did, Dameta has other hobbies! Like whatever his motivation in Star Allies is. Something dastardly, I'm sure. People really like to pretend he's not part of the Star Ally club when my man is doodling with toddlers and posing with his less cool less edgy self. Would a villain have a silly little we heart kirby statue? No, didn't think so. Also I cannot imagine him as a dad to Shadkirby either. Do they even interact? I've seen both "Amazing dad" and "Outright abusive" as interpretations and I can't go with either. But I think that's because I don't enjoy Metadad that much. They're like awkward coworkers. He thinks they're student and mentor. They're not even that. Dameta barely knows Shadow exists.

Dark Meta Knight is very popularly characterized as like an abusive parent, usually physically abusive. Mainly to Shadow Kirby, of course. He's an asshole, yeah, but not THAT bad, christ. I've seen multiple fics where Shadow Kirby is some poor little hey what t the fuck hes fighting himself. um. Back to being a hater.

Shadow Kirby

Some folks still think he's shy/cowardly like from the Amazing Mirror Days. Not really true anymore. From what fans have seen from the ending of the game, he does protect the Mirror World. As for the spin off games that include him, he's pretty tough and even creates mischief sometimes.

Shadow Kirby is constantly treated as an "evil" Kirby. Especially bad after Fighters and fighters two. Not to mention "Parallel Kirby". There's also a strangely common trend of making them more sapient than pink Kirby, who tends to be infantilised to hell and back. Shadow Kirby also is often treated as a complete coward who can't do anything right, when they aren't called evil.

He's shown as completely different in several different occasions, not only in personality but in design I like shadow kirby he's purple and then he's not

Dark Taranza

Dark Taranza, gonna be honest what little characterization people give him are actually okay compared to the rest. But I'm still a hater and hang on im watching jerma clips. okay. He's like Sectonia if Sectonia was Taranza if that makes sense.

Shadow Dedede

Shadow Dedede barely gets shit but I'm going to be a little hater anyways. I don't like most characterizations. I see people make him like a dictator like bro he's literally just some guy.

Sectonia

have you seen how often people say that  sectonia and taranza were boyfriend and girlfriend in canon?????? they were never!!! shes the gosh dang final boss but shes only ever used to give taranza angst. she is her own person with a personality!!!! yes their backstories are interconnected but gosh!!!!

This not too prominent but I can't stand it when people portray her as an uwu shy girl pre-corruption. While she gave in her worst aspects, she was probably always a kind of vain, girlboss! I mean she knows how to fight with rapiers c'mon!!!

idk it just feels like lots of people just see her as Taranza's tragic dead wife and like nothing else you know? like she is more than that and I feel like what little content we have of her proves that (like the soul boss descriptions (especially the original japanese text of the 2nd phase!!) and the eternal dream song) - or maybe im reading too much into those because im hyperfixating on my blorbo whoops

Kine

I'm not sure how true this opinion is considering how little people talk about Kine, I feel this is partially the anime's fault, or maybe its because of how he just looks, but Kine is cool and is not some stupid loser fish. Before the days of Crystal Shards, Him, Kirby, Rick & Coo were the dream team at the time, always hanging out going, with various activities long before the days of Meta Knight or even Dedede. Kine is an awesome aquatic rep for the Kirby series not to mention drinking and being a pirate and Kine even has a Wife! Kine has got it! I guess this is a partial compliant of Ship of Theseus which can be applied with Rick & Coo too, but I feel Kine gets the most hate if any because of people who are unfamiliar just see a dopey fish and are unaware of his origins and his past with Kirby. I'm not upset with the current representation of the Kirby cast (I love the RTDL team being the main crew) but I do hope the animal buddies get some more love, Especially Kine.

Dedede

reduced to his significantly less in-depth and compelling characterization from the anime

Anime Dedede.

Magolor

one time i read a series of fanfictions where he called every female character in the story a bitch and was portrayed as the good guy in the story

Is it possible to both be flanderized and woobified at the same time? There is a lot of "removing his responsibility for his actions" but can we get better jokes than "hehe Microtransgolor hehe scammer egg”

Always an uwu soft boy. Like no that is a criminal not a catboy.

Bro would never be intimidated by Magolor

Marx

People either portray him as a edgy sociopath or constantly bored and annoyed. Portraying him as an adult or a teen kinda annoys me as well. I'm very picky about portrayals of Marx so don't get upset if you portray him as one of these I've listed.

Sometimes I see people only joking about the "hungry so he came along" thing with Marx and it's pretty overdone

They took one look at him and said “to the insane asylum bitch”. I don’t think he’s some crazy murder hobo rather a dude with questionable morals and puts his own mischief and fun before others it seems. Though Marx is indeed one of the least “character” characters when I mean he doesn’t have much depth in comparison to other characters. But you could do anything else than have him follow the Jevil path of him being crazy. Make him evil? Sure. Make him a cringefail idiot? Sure. Make him a crybaby bitch? Go ahead. But making him the definition of what a 14 year old white girl in New Jersey that probably is addicted to Instagram and thinks Webtoon comics are the highest level of art and storytelling’s definition of insane doesn’t cut it cuz. Slapping the spaz label without a thought of what’s being done on a character who fits the mark makes the Schizoid peeved who coulda known. As this is all coming from the one person who has likely ruined Marx’s character the most for Kirblur by making him a somewhat empathetic manchild who clings to both pipe dreams of normality and being a monster btw. (Also this doesn’t mean jokes, you can joke about him being a psycho like Jerma it’s when it’s taken 100% seriously is when it’s bad).    Also to add on, Woobification of Marx or any Kirby character period CAN be annoying if taken too far. I take full responsibility in the fact my variant is also woobifed to an extent but that train full of ticking bombs doesn’t bother me as much. Make him sadcry and be gay he deserves both those things. Send him to sad hell with the rest of them.

To the anon above... What?

Making him stupid or reducing him to just Silly Clown. Or just having him act in purely impulsive or spontaneous ways (which sometimes happens when juxtaposed with a more "collected" character like Magolor).

Daroach

this is something i’ve noticed specifically in chatfics, but when daroach is in the ensemble some of them tend to designate him as the Goofy Meme Dumbass for… idk, fandom quota? i really don’t know why it happens because he has a bunch of canon dialogue (and alternate continuity stuff like the novels) that show him to be cool and clever. i’m not saying he can’t have a sense of humor or anything (he’s definitely the type to have a bunch of quips), but it sucks when he’s mischaracterized because the fandom doesn’t give him that much attention as is. if you NEED a silly haha guy, marx is right there!”

Morpho Knight

"Morpho Knight is a creature of mercy. It's a benevolent entity putting tired souls to rest." NO?! I'm going to copy-paste some stuff I put in a post of my own. A while back, SYZekrom on Reddit translated Morpho Knight's entry, and it contains some... interesting information. Allow me to provide some excerpts. "He’s a red knight with butterfly wings, continuing from a pair of white wings like an angel’s, and a pair of azure wings with a bit of an evil feel." This is the first of two instances where Morpho Knight is outright stated to be evil. There's also stuff in the art book that supports my theory that Galacta and Morpho are permanently fused and the former is not dead, but I don't want to get carried away. These are its gacha figure descriptions in Forgotten Land: "The fluttering fiend that casts judgment upon final battles is drawn toward the isolated isles of Forgo Dreams. There, it feasts on the most powerful soul it finds and takes the fearsome form of a scarlet-clad knight… Let the most challenging battle of this new world begin!" –English "One of the dreaming birds, which are said to pass judgement upon decisive battles, drifts towards a forgotten, isolated isle as if summoned. There, it sips upon the strongest Soul and descends as a red knight. Finally, welcome the dusk… of the deadliest battle in this New World!"  –Japanese While at first glance there doesn't seem to be any information of note, the "fluttering fiend" bit in the English version is outright stating Morpho Knight is evil, and the phrase "he deadliest battle in this New World" doesn't sound particularly heroic. But I digress... Morpho is NOT a good person! This is clearly leading up to a villain vs hero confrontation! Which, may I add, implies that reaping Galacta Knight wasn't necessarily a good thing for it to do?!

Elfilis

elfilis is NOT entirely malicious. they would gladly accept hugs and kisses. being in a fucking capsule ALONE and AWARE for likely CENTURIES will DO SOMETHING TO YOU YOU KNOW?? god fucking DAMN dude... and after the ending of the true arena in the game, WILLINGLY GAVE THEMSELF UP TO ELFILIN. also they're not fucking DEAD you PSYCHOPAYHS elfilis is STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE!!!!!!! RUUAAAGGGH!!!!!!!!!!

Susie

Being Evil or being a Sad uwu girl who has had bad things happen to her seems to be the only way most people can portray this character.

Susie isn't a friend. She's selfish and wanted to take over the company. Her "redemption" is pointing Kirby at the world-ending machine, gives him armor, and then stands around. She doesn't even know his name. The closest she does for good is tell Kirby to do something he would've done on his own.

My girl really became the subject of hate thanks to a mistranslation. I mean yeah she likes robots and shit but the fact that people think she is a terrible person and that she's still colonizing planets makes me upset. i blame the translation team for everything.

When people say she has fully redeemed herself and is reduced to cishet, pretty girl??? Like no, star allies mistranslation my ass you fell for her corporate propaganda. The female characters in this franchise, while lovable, is not nearly as popular as a lot of the male ones. HAL literally gave us a morally grey girlboss who we can still sympathise with. She actually feels like a very real character in this fictional world.

You Know How People Are About Her

she's not even my blorbo!!!!!! everyone thinks she's a huge evil bitch who has done terrible genuinely unspeakable things. i read a fic that went on and on abt the horrible things she "did" to meta knight when he was mechanized (things so bad i cant even say) and i was pulling my hair out she did not fucking do any of that!!!! yes the universe can have pretty dark moments but good lord people only use her to woobify meta knight and give fuel to ship him with others and it pisses me off lol. or people go too far the other way and woobify HER to ship with him and aughhhh no one has a shred of media literacy. she's not purely good or purely evil she's such a complex character who did bad things because she was in a bad situation and the best example of a morally grey character who's on no one's side but herself and that will always be more interesting that 100% good or 100% evil. once again she's not even my blorbo but i've never seen a character butchered this badly by a fandom

Because of mistranslation (from what I've heard) Susie's whole mechanizing planets has been the number one thing when it came to susie hate and the only reason as to why people hate this girl so much. Honestly Susie's character has been fucked up immensely and no one has such a divided spread of opinions like she does. Some people brush away her backstory and make her a soulless being with no love whatsoever.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Susie Haltmann. I cannot with the fandom interpretations anymore. It's ridiculous how bad they've gotten. Susie is a two dimensional character. I absolutely despise seeing people portray her as some sort of greedy capitalist bastard and "the one with the braincell". In canon, she's consistently been portrayed as a sweet person (with a knack for violence, but EVERYONE in this series is like that). Everything bad she did in Planet Robobot was FOR WORK and the will of HER FATHER, and even if she did want to do the things she did, she's clearly not doing them any more. The "mechanizing planets and peoples" line in Star Allies is a mistranslation. And the "punishing savages" doesn't have to mean anything bad. It could mean she's punishing evildoers with her money and resources. In fact, I've seen some translations put it like that And Meta Knight... is just the straw that broke the camel's back. Oh lord. Why does everyone insist that he hates her? There's the little scene in Star Allies... but god, that isn't canon, it's clearly a joke. If anything, Susie might have been trying to talk to him and he was just trying to avoid her in a misinterpretation of the situation. It's supposed to be funny. Why are you imposing this onto people like this automatically makes Susie a devil incarnate and anything involving those two characters in problematic? Just shut up.

Meta Knight

Everyone thinks he’s just the ‘edgy character’ or ‘the uncaring mentor figure’ while in actuality he really does care for Kirby (and Bandana Dee) more than anyone gives him credit for!

Everyone either makes him all broody and lonesome, like shadow the hedgehog or batman; or they make him a goofy dad, like Dedede or Hugh Neutron. In reality, he's a weird uncle with unknown motivations, simultaneously selfish and practical. Also, he doesn't hide the fact that he likes sweets, he eats them away from everyone so no one steals them (Dedede and Squeak Squad).

He's not Kirby's fucking dad! He's an irresponsible uncle that hands out swords! And he is definitely in love with dedede, he is the only other dramatic bitch willing to build a skyscraper to beat up kirby (I am using intense anger for comedic effect) 

HES A FUCKING TWINK ASS FRUITY ASS MOTHERFUCKING CRINGEFAIL MAN. HE NEEDS TO HAVE HIS PERSONALITY INTERPRETED AS BOTH THE MANGA AND THE GAMES. YES HE IS MYSTERIOUS BUT HE ALSO WOULD TRIP AND FALL OVER HIMSELF. I NEED STAR ALLIES KICKING SWORD PISSED. I NEED MANGA ROSES BITCHASS META. I NEED THAT PARTICULAR VERSION OF MY BOY meat knight RIGHT NOW. meta knight is cringefail. half of the fandom agrees the other half does not. im explode.

He wants to look cool so bad but he is actually a huge fucking goofy goober. Any representation of Meta Knight being a badass is propaganda made by Meta Knight himself to convince you he’s cool. I mean have you seen his RTDL Deluxe pause screen description? King Dedede’s and Bandana Dee’s are in first person, but his is in third person? He’s literally talking about himself in the third person like hello????? Meta Knight is such a fucking lame goofy little man who thinks he’s the most badass motherfucker on the planet.

To fair this has been less common lately but back during 2014-2016 MK was usually portrayed in fanart/fanfic as either this wise veteran or cold edgelord. He is just an unhindged!!! Silly!!! Guy!!! He can be cool and cringefail!!! But he is also compassionate in his own aloof, awkward way!!! 

i am not a big fan of the metadede ship. i think people are shipping for the sake of having a ship and nothing else. As someone with a severely underrepresented orientation (aromantic and asexual), when I see a character I like, I will project onto said character. This is the case with my interpretation of Meta Knight. I saw a cool character that I liked who a) doesn’t have any canon love interests and b) didn’t really need a whole ton of friends/significant others to be happy with life. Meta Knight always seemed to be perfectly content with the friends he has on Popstar and his crew and everyone in the anime, so I looked to him for hope that I could live the same way. I was open to the metadede ship at first, but as time passed, I felt less and less comfortable with it. It seemed to me that people were so hungry for gay ships that they just pulled this one out of thin air courtesy of Kirby Fighters 2, which is to my knowledge the only piece of media that somewhat supports this. Why can’t people just be happy with MK and Dedede being friends or frenemies? I’m probably starting drama with this bc I know how popular metadede is on Tumblr so I apologize for upsetting you if that is the case.  But I also feel that I shouldn’t apologize just because I have a different opinion.

I dislike how "pathetic" the fandom has made him out to be. I don't like it when he's portrayed as overpowered but... "pathetic, whiny manlet" could not be further from the truth. How did we get to that?

Kirby

Often people make Kirby more dependent on others than he actually is. He's an extremely independent person that literally cannot be stopped by anyone who tries to get in his way

ik its been covered to death but matpat made that video about how kirby is evil and completely ignored the themes of friendship and kindness that are present throughout the entire series

dude hes not a baby. he drinks in the manga adukt kirbies are a fine interp god. and hes not a godkiller or some shit he just fights for his friends hes not some terrifying monster kirby is literally just some friendly guy. strong yeah but just some guy. he fights strong entities incidentally lol

The anime portrays them as a literal infant, and due to its overprevalence (despite not being in the same stream of canon as the games), this is often their characterization in the fandom.  Canonically, they indeed are a child (at most, they'd probably be a teen in the modern games), but they are old enough to talk, and they demonstrate a high amount of emotional and even technical intelligence.

Admittedly, this is one that usually only happens to people outside the fandom, but it bugs me when people portray Kirby as a sort of immoral monster who only does good things on accident. When it’s quite the opposite! He may not be incredibly bright, but he does his best to help people. Oddly enough, there’s not many cases of “he would not say that” in the fandom for me because of how loose Kirby’s story is. It is lore heavy but the actual characters aren’t super concrete save for a few and I think that’s perfectly fine

People forget that their air bullet!! is an attack!! its literally one of their only ways of dealing damage in DL1!!! I’m looking at you Smash Bros!!! Why isn’t it their nair?????????

making them a toddler who cant speak for themself

I swear everyone outside of the fandom sees Kirby as either a braincell infant or  a merciless force of mass destruction

Taranza

WHAT DIDN'T THEY DO!?!?!? Taranza, as we see him in Triple Deluxe, is such a fun villain. He's dramatic, arrogant, a total suck-up to Sectonia, and it's so. Fucking. Good. He's a devious bastard, he monologues!!! His animations in the Clash games are so fucking campy and dramatic it's chefs kiss!!!! Fanon Taranza is as plain as white bread. Sometimes as pale as it, looking at some of the gijinkas. No shade though! As little shade as there is melanin in him lmAO- He is flanderised to hell and back. There are so. Many. Fucking. Taranzas who happen to be nothing but sad and weepy about his evil dead wife. Where's the bite!!! The pizzazz!!! Even in canon, when he is a bit of a wet sack later on, he still hunts for an altar he can bring her back on. My boy's a wannabe necromancer!!! Write that shit in your lost lenore Sectonia fic you fucking cowards Queen's Phantom ain't just for show. The above is also evidence for woobification! The fucker is obviously sad his crush is dead! But can we pleeease focus on anything else. This is definitely not targeted at Hal Labs. Imagine being woobied so hard your creators backtrack your personality I would just die. "Ehehe he's the responsible mage!!" No the fuck he isn't he can't be trusted with anything he tries take control it WILL blow up in his face. He knows magic he's good at magic but is he responsible??? Fuck no my man's strongest attack is "Blow myself the fuck up via a giant burst of magic" and it shreds. Even worse is the "Taranza got mind-controlled by Sectonia" theory in tandem with this. That wasn't confirmed right. Right. God I hope not that would be embarrassing. He can't even have a moment to realise his devotion has gone too far and she doesn't love him or even care for him, and he has to finally make that decision to free himself from her like ain't that cool!!! And then making him all sad over her afterwards it's just a Little Fucked if you're tryna put it all together eh. Eh. And he's not suuuper objectified (That usually goes to Seccy rest in piss girlie) but the way he's treated in some ships is. Eugh. Fucking Magoranza amirite he's basically there to look responsible and cute (I've already explained my issue with this) and to fix the tortured soul who is Magolor (I do not like Magolor. Nor Magoranza.) Tbh Sectaranza does the same he's there to be tragic because his girlie's dead. When you give him less personality than the dead cardboard cutout you know you fucked up. Anyways these ramblings are here to remind you what Hal Labs stole from us: Taranza but not a TOTAL saddo. Theatre kid Taranza. Arrogant prick. He's even British.

For the anon above me, I just wanted to say that this entry is probably my favorite and lives rent free in my mind.

I'm definitely guilty of it and it's all we have to go off of but PLEASE he needs more than to be Sad. Give him hobbies and interests that aren't just gardening, at least. Make stuff up about him, please!

So, SO many people make him an absolute crybaby over Sectonia. Even though, yes, he has grief problems, it's not his whole freaking personality. Pretty sure they're forgetting the fact that he LITERALLY HELPED KILL HER.

Taranza is not just a little pathetic guy!! He’s a bitch— a little schemer if you will !!! He’s smug—he’s formal—he’s a little fucker!!! Taranza needs a new partner and that partner is me

Oddly enough I do think people make him out to be a bit too much of a goody two shoes. Like he has done some mean things in the past and it wasn’t all Sectonia’s fault, he literally *stole* the Dimensional Mirror after all. Don’t get me wrong I think he’s a good person in the end, but cmon. He has committed crimes

Taranza in some corners of the fandom has kinda been turned into this forever crying baby who can never recover from losing Joronia and like, I never see people who do that write about the recovery and being able to move on to the final stage of grief.

HE IS NOT A SIMP, MY GOD

Everyone needs to stop reducing him to pathetic simp. He is allowed to grieve but he's probably one of the more mature characters within the series???

People disregard everything else about his character to make his tragic relationship with sectonia his only character trait. Not sure if this quite counts as woobifying since he does canonically still mourn her (and obviously seeing a close friend/crush go down the path of self destruction and ultimately die from it WOULD NOT be something you'd get over quickly). But I'm so tired of taranza in fanart and the like being an uwu softboy with Crying as his main character trait. Like he's canonically more than that! He goes full cocky villain mode when you confront him near the end of triple deluxe and he can pack a punch in star allies with his magic! If you're going to write about him prove that you don't just know about the guy from twitter artwork!

And here’s a graph!

Anyways, thanks everyone for your submissions! What I’ve learned here is important: We’re all fucking delusional.

#I'm going to fist fight the Tumblr editor #Kine anon Ily #Kirby #Rambles #Long post

[sugarschnaps]

Omg I love love love ocs!! What’s Nathanials personality? Was he originally a fandom oc? What’s his backstory? Gimme the detailssss

I could ramble for days, but I'll keep the timeline (however complex) short and simplified because otherwise I will literally break the website LMAO Nathaniel originated as a villain character. Before my days of slasher and horror hyperfixations, what a time period- He was like a really crappy written knockoff Johnny minus the cannibalism and some of the goofy energy? Point is, he used to be a villain purely because I didn't have one at the time. He was always, however, a rich pretty boy with an annoyingly good skill at anything science or medicine. He's got a lot going for him, he was also pretty arrogant abt it way back when. Nowadays he isn't super different, but he's also a completely different character if that makes sense? Agh Canon speaking for like today, he's still from a wealthy family, though he has two dads (birth ma transitioned) and sometimes gets a little hate for it, he's still pretty high up society wise. He's studying to become a doctor of some kind, more specifically hoping to get into neuroscience in some fashion, preferably a surgeon but he isn't going to be fussy on that. In the timeline that doesn't spoil the book I might someday write, he starts off just in like private school except its one of the rlly rlly fancy schmancy ones (the setting of the first part ig?? Sobbing its so hard not to spoil) He's still your local pretty boy with money on the side, but generally speaking he's sort of a group dad? Usually has most of his friends on a metaphorical child leash, and he's called "Dadgram" as a pun on his surname by his best friend. He's also responsible for several friendship group activities, including their Friday Game Night, which happens every week- There's no negotiating on that one. He'll help with snacks and stuff, but it's funny to him to watch his "idiot friends" (Why is that in quote marks they're all silly) ruin each others' friendships with Uno or what have you. Also also!! In his world people having superpowers (which in book terms get called anomalies) is kinda normal but they're usually sorta controlled, his is the ability to heal wounds, but the catch is that he has to use his saliva LMAO His birth dad figured it out when he was around six years old and he had a rlly nasty cut on his finger and yk when people like suck on the injuries and stuff?? Yeah he did that and it disappeared. I'd explain more about him, but I'd be spoiling the book and AGH I might write it idk???? But yeah hopefully some Nate facts will help :'D

You can totally dm me and ask more abt any of my ocs if you want, I'm starting inktober with the cast of that book anyway teehee :P

#oc #oc lore #teehee #god i love them #schnaps does stuff #should I actually tag my oc things under schnapsverse LMAO #Anyway #lore #its so real #i cant spoil my own book though AGH #anyways hi hello have a good day :)

[esta-elavaris]

Do you have any advice for someone trying out writing for the first time? No matter if it’s fanfiction or an original work is there something you would suggest or a mantra you try to go by? Or maybe advice you would have told your younger self?

I started stupidly young (like I decided when I was nine that I wanted to be an author) so I can't specifically remember what worked for me when I started, but I still have a few things that I think/hope will be helpful! There was a period around 2017-2019 where I wrote an abysmally small amount because of shitty mental health and then I revamped/reclaimed my writing habit at the very beginning of 2020 and there are a few things that were helpful there.

This book is very, very good (The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, if the link doesn't work) to the point where I literally buy it as a gift constantly for creative folk in my life. It's a very quick read, I reread it often, and it frames procrastination and that sort of self-conscious anxiety that makes writing difficult at times in a really new and clever way. The author has done a few podcast appearances if the book isn't something you can access.

Another person who I've found really inspiring/motivational is David Goggins - his stuff is more overtly tailored towards physical exercise and that sort of realm, but what he says can absolutely be applied to creativity, too, but he's a bit more of a divisive figure - some people love him and his brand of encouragement, others despise it. He has a couple of very good books, a tonne of podcast appearances, and he posts smaller clips on IG. Personally, I adore it, he's one of my favourite humans.

At the heart it's all about not letting the shit your mind tells you impact what you actually do, and a massive part of writing (at least for my anxious self) is ignoring that voice in the back of your mind screaming that every sentence/paragraph/chapter is hot shit and you should just quit. So I don't really have specific mantras, just stuff by those guys as well as a few different songs that hype me up.

In terms of specific advice, the game changer for me was deciding to write every single day as a rule. It's the best thing I ever did for my writing. The original plan was to only do it for the entire year of 2020 to get back into good habits, but then that year ended and I haven't stopped yet, with no plans to do so - I'm literally on my 1200th+ consecutive day right now. It's tough for the first few months, especially when you're getting used to consciously making time for it (I've literally written on my phone at bus stops, or when everybody else has gone to bed at a sleepover/party, the works to maintain the streak), but eventually it becomes second nature. Not every day can be good and groundbreaking, but you have to get through the mediocre days to earn the great ones and writing as much as possible sort of streamlines that process. Creativity is like a muscle in that regard, the more you use it and the more you show up, the more it'll show up for you.

Kind of linked to that last point, I'd also recommend working on a couple of different things at once. That way if you're stuck on one project, you can switch to the other - and by the time you get stuck on the other one, you'll probably be ready to go back to the first one. It's a good way to keep writing and keep yourself in the habit of writing even if you're taking a break from one specific thing. I could never just work on one thing 24/7 because I'd end up getting painfully bored and it would show in the project.

ALSO final bit of technical advice - the pomodoro technique is great for this sort of thing. There are plenty of YouTube videos that do the timing for you if you search for stuff like "study with me pomodoro" etc. and it frames things in a much more doable light. It breaks down your time into 25 minute chunks of work, and then rests in-between, so working on a project no longer feels like "man I need to write a whole chapter", it's just "I need to write for 25 minutes".

Finally, books in general are your best friend. Not just for inspiration, but because they can really help with insecurity. If I think I use too many dashes as punctuation, I pick up a few books and go hunting for them and see I don't use a stupidly higher amount than some of my favourite authors. If you look at books as a writer, you can find paragraphs that exist just to get the characters from point A to point B without containing any groundbreaking bits of literary prose. The sort of stuff you don't usually notice if you're just reading as a reader.

You can even find passages you don't personally like but that don't ultimately detract from the book being good (or if it does in your opinion, you can probably then find droves of people online who ADORE the book and think it's perfect, which is a good reminder of how subjective this whole thing is - I love reading negative reviews of my favourite books for that reason, it's a good reminder that there's no pleasing EVERYBODY so there's no point in trying) just to counteract any perfectionist tendencies.

Essentially, write as much as possible, read as much as possible, and have fun doing it. The only thing I'd really tell my younger self is to keep going for it, and to never quit.

This is a whole ass essay now, sorry about that -- if there's anything specifically that I didn't talk about, feel free to lmk. And thank you for asking! I'm majorly flattered that you'd want my advice on the topic 💜 good luck!

#asks #dissertation!Lucy strikes again

[arunikanaya]

First 10 days of January

It was challenging. It consisted of boredom, worries, and a little bit of conflict.

1.) I was faced between two hard choices. Both of them are equally challenging.

The problem is: What I want with what my parents want are different. It is tough because this disagreement triggers my past trauma. It makes me feel as if I was not trusted by my parents and I did not receive support in anything that I do.

But on the other hand,

I am not financially independent at the moment. I cannot even afford my own living.

After a thoughtful consideration, I choose not to take it. Hopefully it'll lessen the friction between us because not only there are some things that make me think it's not a right offer for me, but this is also a toleration that I make to accommodate their want because they are important to me.

It feels like a waste of opportunity, but I made a very thorough consideration, and I asked a lot of questions to my friends who have done this kind of internship work. And for the first time, I prayed istikharah for guidance. I feel satisfied with the choice that guided by Allah for me to make. Alhamdulillah.

Take home points :

When you're still need someone to live, don't demand anything and just accept what they give to you.

Talk to your parents gently and it's on you to manage your emotions and your tone. Don't talk when you're not ready or when someone is in a bad mood.

Sometimes (most of the times), someone you wish could give you support cannot provide that, then don't expect it from them. As I know, some people are made for a certain function. I must be at peace with that fact. Be okay with their absence in a certain area of life.

You owe your parents enough. I'm going to be quite and make no scene and try to survive on my own.

2.) I'm indeed an unfunctional adult (even though I claim myself as a late phase teenager) and I cannot even solve my own problems (yet).

Maybe this is the milestone of life where I cannot run away from my life and my problems when the stakes are high.

Let me tell you first about me and how my psychology state so far.

My trauma/stress response : Freeze

Assessing it makes it easier to handle it. If you don't what's needed to be fixed, you'll never figured out how to. It took a lot of time to finally come to this conclusion. And to be honest, not being able to handle it when it comes really hinder a lot of stuff in my life. I lose a lot of people, chances, trust, etc. But I'm alright though, that was needed in order to have a better understanding of myself, like now.

Knowing that, a new question arises : what are you gonna do with that fact? I'll try to handle it. Here are how :

Breath exercise -> I just found on an IG account (he's a neuroscientist btw) that breathing work works.

Grounding technique

Write it down and give a time to feel what I feel (with moderation)

Getting into the 'Flow mode'

Start to think about solutions and ACTUALLY DOING IT.

My very.. immature defense mechanism : Acting out, Fantasizing, Passive Aggressive.

It's time to fix it. It's my problem. (Now playing: Anti-hero - Taylor Swift)

by adopting some mature defense mechanism:

Humor -> laugh it off and smile! Life is a little silly game. Life is too short to be frowning all the time!

Altruism -> help people to help yourself.

Anticipation -> proper preparation prevents poor performance.

Identification -> act and show up as your higher self.

Sublimation -> doing something else/being in the flow

Supression -> it is what it is. let go and move forward~

3.) The key to every problem, every success in my life: Just do it, pray for it, don't make Allah mad, trust Him at all costs.

That's all.

[p3rry-pi3]

Pin pooooost!

Updated: 4/27/2024 :3

I cannot believe I didn’t bother making a proper one sooner

Anyways, info under the cut cause this thing is long as heck, and I didn’t mean to make it that way.

Uh. I shall give a gold star to whoever reads the whole thing, but DO NOT SKIP the DNI part.

I also want to clarify that I have a section with Palestine content, I know people aren’t willing to always look under the cut to actually look for that kind of stuff (I’m saying this as, most people not generally, but sometimes I do the same thing, as shitty as our attention spans are, I think it’s still important that you check these posts out and reblog them. I have been DEATHLY terrified to reblog and post on this account but that shouldn’t stop anyone from at least reblogging this stuff seeing as this stuff is 1000x more important.)

I’ve copy linked posts where you can find: journalists to support and follow, how you can help Palestine donations or not, what you can do to prevent the voting for more weapons in Israel (or the more scientific term, isntreal), and what to boycott.

Do not, and I mean DO NOT skip that part. I can’t control your actions but YOU can control YOUR OWN. I trust you to reblog, like, and share the posts I link.

Let me know if I should make this a separate post for you to reblog, but I hope this makes it GLARINGLY CLEAR on where I stand.

TW; teeth as header in the start and end :]

🪐🥞🪐🥞🪐🥞🪐🥞🪐🥞🪐

Main info

Hey! I’m Perry! Short for Peregrine :)!

I’m a minor (above 10+, I wanna keep this a 13+ space cause of the cussing and my interests in horror art and other scary games. You kind of have to be 13+ to be on here anyway.)

I’m pretty spiritual

I study the Paranormal and psychology

I like making headcanons and theories :]

I genuinely enjoy character analyses and overall enjoy video essays on media like indie horror and video games

I love hardcore horror and gore arts of all sorts. So beware of some of that. Ofc I’ll put warnings, just lemme know if I missed something. I also cuss a lot on here! So beware of that :)!

It’s come to my attention people have been posting real life gore of stuff like hyenas and actual victims so…That’s not the gore I meant. Fictional gore; FICTIONAL!

I’m new to the tagging system even now, so figuring stuff out is hard, but I’m equipped with enough knowledge on it and will put warnings in tags and captions since I recently learned you can block tags. Which helps loads.

Please be patient with me!^^

I’m trans, transmasc, and genderfluid. My pronouns are he/they.

I’m also working on getting a career or two in film :)!

💫🧇💫🧇💫🧇💫🧇💫🧇💫

Extra info

My favorite colors are purple, red, black, white, and neon pink.

I’m multifandom

Reblogs are much more appreciated but I’m grateful for likes.

I like mixed media.

Pls use tone tags :]

Please reblog artwork! Shitposts are fine for just likes. Text posts to.

I usually stick to canon ships because certain fandoms make it weird, but I haven’t seen anything in the main fandom I’m in, so I like to ship some.

I’m a multishipper. (Again, this applies to certain fandoms.)

I’m generally inactive here and there, but I like posting most of my fanart here when I can or remember I also post stuff on here.

I cuss on here so beware of that ig

I have social anxiety and anxiety so posts can sometimes be slower than usual since I’m almost always on my own toes. And because I have anxiety, if I’m being awkward, it’s nothing you did or said, I’m just like that in general.

I have horrible memory so if I post twice on the same day or hour it’s prolly because I forgot about it.

I reference lots of lemon demon and jack stauber.

I blame the jack stauber fanbase for my lemon demon obsession.

I’m the oldest of two brothers so you might hear about them here and there but rarely so.

I’m kind of an idiot, so please be patient if I ask you a third time to repeat what you said.

I have ADHD took a lot out of me to confirm I do. So posts may come later or at the same time due to this.

Biiiggggg undertale and fnaf nerd.

I’m an over analyzer who loves theories. Did you know I’m also an overthinker? (<- sarcasm.)

I don’t dream. I have nightmares instead. That’s where I get most of my OCs.

None of my stuff has age ratings unless it’s like tough topics to touch on or something horrifying.

I ramble lots and ramble even more in tags, so there’ll be lots of tags of just me rambling

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Free Palestine! 🇵🇸🍉

DO NOT SKIP THIS PART!!!!!!!!!

It’s a genocide not a war!!! Z//onists FUCK OFF!!!!!!

I tried to make little watermelon emoji borders so they wouldn’t be confusing, but idk lmk if the borders help section it

I will also continuously update it if needed, and I take constructive criticism if I need to change anything, and no, ‘the only criticism I have is the fact you support Palestine’, or something, isn’t valid criticism. I’ll block you, and it’s not even a funny thing to joke about.

Links I have so far (I wanna remind ppl that if you don’t like seeing your link here just lmk and I’ll take it down, I’m just tryna share the word and I’ll soon make a post on its own abt this cause I think it’d be really important to make a separate post on this)

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

Miscellaneous.

(This one is sort of just based off someone else answering an ask but I wanted to copy link this one anyways since by the looks of it, they have a lot of pro-Palestine posts)

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

How YOU can help Palestine.

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

Palestinian journalists.

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

No more weapons for isntreal, ceasefire now.

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

What to boycott.

🎮🎬🎮🎬🎮🎬🎮🎬🎮🎬🎮

Pfp creds:

ANGELETTE on Pinterest ((<-where I found them))

Go check ‘em out!^^

💤🌟💤🌟💤🌟💤🌟💤🌟💤

Tags I think u should check out on here!^^ /nf

Some doodles :) (doodles that are 9 times out of ten fandom related)

Bugsnax ramblings (I ramble about headcanons, theories, characters, in game stuff, etc.)

Mind rambles (theories, it’s a new tag I’m working on updating soon.)

Rambling about shit (shits and giggles at 3 AM)

Bugsnax shitpost (mother load of idiocy from yours truly)

Some doodles (not aware this existed prolly isn’t even from this blog, not used as much. At least I don’t think I dunno.)

🎸💤🎸💤🎸💤🎸💤🎸💤🎸

Hyperfixations

Bugsnax

Lemon demon

Jack stauber

Mother Mother

Indie horror art

Analog horror

Spiderverse ITSV & ATSV

Franbow

Sallyface

Undertale

Undertale AUs

DHMIS

Mr. Plant (from Ashur Gharavi)

CoD MW2, Cold War Black ops (18+ content CoD blogs DNI)

Venom (Mostly the movies, but I also enjoy the comics.)

TF2/Team Fortress 2

Death Note (pray for me…)

🦷🍓🦷🍓🦷🍓🦷🍓🦷🍓🦷

DNI!!!

LGBTphobes

Furry haters/anti-furrys

Proshippers/comshippers.

Ableists

MAP (not the art collab meaning, but the other meaning)

Anti-antis

Racists

Z00ph1les

Zi0nists

If you’re anything of the above, please get off my page/blog.

I don’t have much of a DNI, just be respectful and mindful.

Might expand if needed.

🎭🩰🎭🩰🎭🩰🎭🩰🎭🩰🎭

Did you read it?

Did you read the whole thing or at least the “DNI” parts?

Here’s a gold star, as promised: ⭐️

Alright. Go nuts. Be respectful.

#pin post <3

[veethewriter]

Hi! Could I get a bnha matchup?

I’m 21 and go by he/him pronouns.

For appearance, I have a black and neon green split dyed undercut but I hope to go back to blonde soon. Thick brows, green eyes and I wear aviator style glasses. I’m 5’9, chubby and tatted as well. My style is a bit more on the casual side of punk and goth(kind of a mix ig), but I love experimenting with clothing as well as makeup. (Can never go wrong with a bold eye look and a dramatic wing).

Personality wise, I’m very logic driven. Regardless I’m still pretty impulsive, both a blessing and a curse. People have told me I’m wise, and reliable, easy to talk to about stuff and basically just an “old soul”. I’m very curious and I love learning about new things and doing research about anything that has my interest at that moment (currently psychology and criminology, forensics). I’m very punctual, though laid back. I’m pretty much an organized mess, and I’m very creative. I’m outgoing, but I do fine being on my own for long periods of time without getting lonely too. I’m also definitely the mediator and mother Theresa of the friend group. I’m not a born leader but still, I have no trouble taking the lead if needed. I don’t make friends particularly easy, but those that I do befriend I get close to. I don’t let people in all too easily overall, though.

I’m an ENTX, 5w4. My hobbies include drawing, (glass) painting, writing, gaming, playing guitar and bass and traveling. I also love watching crime documentaries, and listening to true crime podcasts (especially while doing something creative). I also love photography. And as stated earlier I have an interest in psychology and criminology and I can spend days and days researching certain cases.

I hope that’s enough info & thank you! Hope you have a wonderful day~

Sorry I just woke up so if this seems a little shorter than usual I apologize. Anyways I think you would go well with taishiro (aka fatgum).

Taishiro was on his day off when he meet you (btw he's in his skinny for this part and normal clothing). He saw you watching the case about overhaul and eri on a TV inside a cafe. Something about you made him interested and he decided to walk over and ask to sit with you. You said sure but asked why, he just said that he noticed you looking at the tv with great interest and was wondering why. Taishiro realized after a while of you two talking that you didn't recognize him (that actually made him happy because sometimes he just wants to be talked to like a normal person).

You two spend most of the day talking about recent villain cases well until he got called into work for an emergency and had to leave but before he left he gave you his number so you two could talk more later. Of course he did tell you he was a hero because there's no reason to lie about it. Taishiro ended up calling you a few days later asking if you wanted to hang out for a bit, when you said yes he came to pick you up and ended up taking you to a game arcade (he remembered you mentioning something about games the other day).

After you two started to hang out ever once and a while, taishiro grew feeling for you and confessed while you two were sitting at the beach drawing together. When you said yes he was so happy and pulled you into a hug. Than he asked if you wanted to go on an actual date now. He decided to take you to a crime escape room for the first date, he thought it was something you would love to do. During the escape room you were the one to figure most of it out while he was somewhat confused, however sometimes he would solve some things.

Taishiro loves cooking for you However he won't force you to eat that much because he knows he makes a lot of food (usually it tends to be a lot of food because of his quirk). Taishiro loves your clothes style and will help you with it if you ask him to (he'll even let you try different styles on him). If you want a makeup idea taishiro is happy to give you some however he thinks you look amazing without makeup too. Taishiro may be a busy hero but he'll always make time for you no mater what.

#mha x reader #mha matchups #mha #mha x male reader #fatgum #fatgum x reader #mha fatgum #mha taishiro #short writing #fanfiction #mha fanfiction

[myhockeyworld87]

Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 37

Word Count: 3,233

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, Smut, NSFW

Notes: So here we are trying to determine what happened with the IG story. Lots of baby stuff in this part. Thanks for sticking with me as I’ve been alternating updating this as well as NSDL. Hope you guys enjoy. Happy Reading! And Let’s Go STARS!!!

Nervous Regrets Masterlist

"Baby," Tyler whispered while gently kissing your cheek. When you didn't wake right away, he tried again. "(Y/N), babe, wake up." You weren't sure if it was Tyler's second attempt or Jace loudly sucking on his pacifier that actually woke you up, but your eyes flew open immediately as you sat up at the same time, almost bumping Tyler's forehead. He laughed at your disoriented state.

 It took you a minute to register that Tyler had Jace in bed with the two of you. "Oh my god, did I sleep through him crying?" You'd been exhausted when you and Tyler finally fell asleep after having sex for the first time, in what seemed like forever, but you didn't think that you'd sleep through Jace's cries. The second he started to make noise you were usually up.

 "He just whimpered a little and I went up with him." It made you feel a bit better that your child hadn't been full-on sobbing and you didn't wake up, but still, you hadn't felt Tyler get out of bed at all. "I can't find a bottle or I wouldn't have woken you up."

 "I didn't get a chance to pump yesterday."

 "Mmm," he hummed his understanding, knowing that it had been a busy day for all three of you. "Well, the paci has kept him entertained for a bit, but it's not going to be long now. I can tell." You adjusted your pillows getting a little more comfortable to breastfeed Jace, when you realized you didn't have any clothes on, not that it mattered as it was just the three of you; it was just sort of odd. Tyler handed Jace over to you.

 "Hey, mommy's boy. Are you hungry?" Taking Jace's pacifier out of his mouth, you set it on the nightstand, while Tyler cuddled closer to the two of you. Jace usually latched on quickly, but he seemed to be a bit disgruntled tonight, squirming around and starting to fuss. You let him cry a bit before trying again and having no success. "Maybe he's wet."

 "I just changed him," Tyler told you, now sitting up beside you in the bed. "What's wrong bud?" Jace just cried louder. He acted hungry but just didn't want to eat. Tyler reached across and put his pacifier in, which he suckled on with enthusiasm.

 "He definitely seems hungry."

 "Yeah, he's chomping on that thing, pretty good." You took the pacifier out and tried again, now that you knew for sure your little man wanted food. Jace just turned his head away with a loud cry.

 "I don't know what to do, this has never happened before," you told Tyler. Between Jace's cries and your full breasts, they started to leak, and you handed the baby over to Tyler. "Let me go pump some and put it in a bottle for him." As soon as you had a couple ounces of milk, you put it in a bottle for Jace to try. He rejected it once again, his cries now filling the house and you felt like the worst mother in the world since you didn't know what to do. Even the dogs were upset as their baby brother sobbed and sobbed. "What time is it? Maybe I can call my mom." You looked at your phone, seeing some notifications on them but paying them any mind. It was four in the morning and you knew calling would set your parents into a panic attack, but then you were freaking out yourself at the moment. You were just about to call your mom when you thought about the nurse telling you to keep some formula on hand just for cases like this.

 Tyler was still rocking Jace back and forth in his arms when you flew out to the kitchen, opening the pantry and scouring it for the formula. As you found it, you heard Tyler's voice. "Babe, what are you doing?"

 "I remembered the nurse saying something about trying formula if this happened. I thought she meant in the first few days but I'm willing to give it a try." It had now been over an hour that your baby was crying and your hands were literally shaking as you got the formula ready. Which was silly really, because all babies got fussy at times, this was just Jace's first time and it was setting you on edge. Thank god Tyler was here to help you through it. "It's ok Jace, mommy's almost done."

 Twisting the cap on the rubber nipple, you handed the bottle over to your husband as you watched Jace's face with unblinking eyes. His little face scrunched up at first and he seemed to fight it, and you were ready to burst into tears, but then he started to suck. "I think he likes it." As soon as the words left Tyler's mouth you started to cry. "Babe, he's fine. It's ok." He moved closer to your side unable to get an arm around you like he wanted to.

 "I know and I'm happy about that, but why wouldn't he take mine?" you sniffled out and realized you were standing in the kitchen naked, crying, while your son took his bottle happily from his father who also wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. "Oh my god, we are a fucking mess." You hiccupped, between tears and laughter now.

 Tyler chuckled, leaning the bottle on his chest as he wiped your tears away quickly. "Thank god no one else is here." You'd only made two ounces and Jace downed half of that faster than you thought, so you went and made two more just in case. It had been several hours since he'd eaten and with all his crying, the poor little thing was starving. Ty propped him up on his shoulder patting his little back to burp as you both went back into your bedroom. You still had his bassinet down there and figured if he fell asleep, you'd just put him there instead of taking him back to his crib. Tyler sat down on the bed, and Jace let out a blech so loud you thought it was your husband. "Uh babe, can you get me a towel?" You peered around Tyler's shoulder only to notice Jace's spit up running down his back and you just burst out laughing.

 "We're really a shitshow tonight."

 "Please don't say shitshow." And you only laughed harder as Tyler tapped his son's butt. "We don't need to add a blowout tonight. Do we bud?" By the time you got back with a wet washcloth, Tyler was feeding Jace his second bottle. He fell asleep about halfway through. "Poor little guy, you tired yourself out, huh?" You kissed his sweet little head before Tyler laid him down in the bassinet, the two of you exhausted as well.

 "What time do you have practice?" You asked Ty, as you crawled back into bed.

 "Not until ten, so I don't have to be up until seven-thirty." He joined you under the covers cuddling you close. "Let's go back to sleep for a bit." He dropped a kiss to your lips and the two of you slept for a couple hours, waking before Jace.

 Tyler was off to practice when Jace finally woke up. He was your happy little man for a bit, but again when it was time to nurse he just wasn't having it. Rather than make him upset, you opted to just give him formula, then decided to call his doctor. Who basically told you, that babies went through this from time to time and that if it went on for a few more days, to call and you could discuss some options. She also reassured you that if you started weening Jace, he would be absolutely fine. You felt a little better after talking to her about everything.

 It was close to noon when you finally got to put Jace down for a nap and you picked up your phone. There were several missed phone calls from Jenna, so you pressed her name and called her back. She didn't even give you time to say hello. "Finally, are you ok?"

 "Yeah, Jace is on a boob strike at the moment and was incredibly fussy last night."

 "Boob strike?"

 "Yeah for some reason he decided he doesn't want to nurse and only wants formula." You still were upset by this, but were trying to comes to terms with it after your conversation with the doctor. "I know it's weird considering he's Tyler's child." When Jenna didn't laugh at your joke, you found yourself saying, "Is something else wrong?"

 "Umm…"

 "Spit it out, Jenna."

 "Well, they're gone now, as Alandra took all the comments off." You remembered then that Alandra had posted on Instagram last night at the game, so you could only assume that the same person who sent you the direct message about cheating was up to no good.

 "They're, as in multiple?"

 "Yeah," Jenna's voice was weak as she confirmed your suspicion. "They weren't good (Y/N)."

 "So, what did they say?"

 "There were a couple that just said you baby trapped Tyler, which we both know isn't true." It was actually the furthest thing from the truth though having Jace was the best thing that happened to you. "There were two that said Tyler is cheating on you." Jenna hurriedly followed that comment up. "Which I know isn't true at all. I mean Tyler loves you more than anything and Jamie agrees. Plus he told me that when they were on the last road trip all Tyler did was talk to you and Jace or mope around because he wasn't with you guys."

 "I know he wouldn't cheat Jenna." You sighed heavily before telling her the rest. "Someone sent me a message saying that same thing but the picture was an old fan pic. It's probably just some fangirl that upset he's off the market, at least that's what I told Tyler." You also told him not to look into it further and you still stood by that. "I'm sorry that they came on Alandra's story like that though. I'll have to call her and apologize."

 "I talked to her. She just feels bad she didn't turn the comments off until this morning." Jenna paused but you could tell there was more. "There was one other thing." When she didn't continue you prompted her. "There was one saying that Jace isn't Tyler's son."

 "What the fuck? Why would someone say that?"

 "I know right? I mean, it said something about how you'd slept with all these men and were now passing Jace off so you could get money from Tyler." The more she told you, the more livid you got.

 You were pacing around the kitchen, anger radiating off of you. "Who the fuck would say that? It's not true and you know it."

 "I know and god you were only with that one dickhead and not for that long. How anyone would know about that I have no clue? Besides, Jace is like a mini Tyler anyone can see that. I just wanted to give you a heads up as I'm sure Tyler will be fuming when he finds out."

 God, she was right. He was going to be so pissed. "Thanks, Jenna. I'm just so mad right now. I would throw something if it wouldn't walk up Jace."

 "Do you want me to come over? I'll hold the pillow for you to punch as long as you promise not to miss." That made you laugh, but only a little.

 "No, I'm fine, but I may take you up on that offer at some point." Just then you heard the garage door opening. "Ty's home. I'm sure this is going to be fun. I'll call you later ok?"

 "You better and remember take some deep breaths."

 "Thanks." You hung up the phone right as Tyler slammed the mudroom door. "Quieter please, Jace is sleeping."

 "Sorry," He whispered out harshly. "I'm just so fucking mad right now. You will never believe what the guys just told me."

 "That someone posted shit on Alandra's IG? Yeah, I just got off the phone with Jenna."

 "That's it (Y/N), I'm calling up my team and seeing what can be done about it. Don't tell me not to." He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and went to slam the door but thought about it and shut it gently after your reminder about Jace.

 "I'm not going to argue." He practically spit his water out when he heard that. "I could care less what they say about me, but Jace, that's a different story." You could feel your blood pressure rising still angry at the comments that were made about Jace's paternity. "You don't believe what they said do you?" Tyler pulled his eyebrows together and you didn't know if he was asking you about what remarks you were talking about or if he was simply saying how could he believe them. So you found yourself saying, "The part about Jace not being yours."

 "Jesus no." He set the bottle down and grabbed you instead. "(Y/N), I know without a doubt that Jace is my son. I've never questioned that…ever!" He dropped a kiss to your lips. "Ever, do you understand me?" You nodded when he pulled back slightly and suddenly tears were flooding your eyes. It wasn't the fact that Tyler believed you, for you knew that he did. It was just everything in the last twenty-four hours, the game, Jace not nursing, and now this. Tyler wrapped you up in his arms, kissing the top of your head as you cried. "We'll find out who's doing this babe." Tyler was right. He would get his people on it and then the whole matter would be settled. Until then you just planned to lay low on social media. Once you calmed down, he held you at arm's length. "Now why don't you go take a hot bath and just relax a little."

 "Jace just laid down. We should have a little time." You quirked a brow at him. "Why don't you join me."

 "Mmm, I like that idea even better." He twisted you so your back was to him then swatted your ass. "Let me just go kiss my son and I'll be right there."

 You went into your en suite and started to run the water, putting in some bath salts to make it more relaxing. You could hear Tyler on the monitor with your son. "Hey bud," he whispered softly careful not to wake him. "You keep sleeping so I can have some time with mommy and daddy will get you anything you want when you get bigger." You had to laugh at your husband already trying to bribe his son. You made a mental note to not like Tyler buy everything your child wanted in the future. "I love you, Jace. Daddy's going to protect you and mommy." It melted your heart to hear his words. You heard him close the door and you quickly got in the tub, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping on his conversation with Jace.

 Tyler quickly stripped his clothes then crawled in the bath behind you. The tub was large and made for two people, though you hadn't gotten too many chances to use it since you moved in. "Mmhmm," Tyler said settling in behind you. "I missed things like this with you." You leaned back against his chest, as his hands slid around your middle then up to idly play with your breasts.

 "I missed this too." Turning slightly, you leaned up urging Tyler to kiss you, which he happily obliged. His fingers tweaked and pinched your nipples as his lips pressed against yours. You could feel Tyler's erection pressing against your bottom as you melted into him. His lips ghosted down to the hollow of your neck where he sucked and nipped, probably leaving a mark but you didn't care, instead, you just moaned out your pleasure. "Mmm, Ty." You felt one of his hands glide down your stomach so that his fingers could slip in between your pussy lips. Though you knew you probably had at least an hour, the way Tyler made your body feel had your hips seeking more in just this short amount of time.

 "I love how you're still so eager for me babe," Tyler breathed out as he continued to finger you.

 "Always Ty, I will never stop wanting you." It was true, even after the two of you broke up, you still craved him. Needed him really, almost as much as you needed air to breathe. Jace had brought you back together; had made you love each other even more, and you would let nothing and no one come between you now. Tyler hit your g-spot, bringing you out of your musings and back to the pleasure only he knew how to make you feel. "I need you, Ty."

 "I'm right here baby." He whispered in your ear, before taking your earlobe between his lips, gently tugging on it. His fingers worked faster to bring you closer to the edge. Your hips thrusting of their own accord as he coaxed you to orgasm. Water sloshed around with your movements and though you were close you wanted his cock inside you when you finally came.

 You halted his fingers, then lifted up so you could turn around and straddle his hips. He helped you sink back into the water and onto his cock. He filled you inch by inch until he was fully engulfed inside you. Cupping your face, he brought your lips to his, in a searing kiss as you started to ride him. More water lapped around your naked bodies and you knew some of it was getting on the floor but didn't care as you rode Tyler. "I love you, Ty."

 "I love you too (Y/N)." It wasn't long before you were building up a frenzied pace, one that had you both panting with need as you worked toward climax. Your hands rested on his shoulders as you rocked back and forth. His one hand slid to your clit, where he flicked the little nub, and then you were there. Moaning out his name as the orgasm hit you. Your pussy spasmed around him and with a few thrusts of his hips, he followed you into that heavenly bliss. The two of you laid there, bodies cooling just as the water around did you. You weren't sure how long you laid there, but then you heard the familiar gurgles of your little boy. "Looks like someone is waking up."

 "Ugh, I thought he would sleep longer." You told Tyler.

 "Well, he's not crying yet." He slapped your ass playfully. "Let me up and I'll go check on him."

 "Mmm, have I mentioned how much I love you." You leaned back on the other side of the tub to let Tyler out.

 "Maybe once or twice, but you can tell me again tonight after Jace goes to bed." Tyler winked then threw a towel around his waist before heading up to go check on the baby. Your life really was perfect, except for the fact that someone was definitely trying to break up your family.  

#Nervous Regrets Series #tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #tyler seguin smut #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl smut #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #hockey smut #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars imagines #nervous regrets

[guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom]

No One Lives Forever Not Even God

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader

Peter Parker x villain!reader 

Warnings: Language, Insomnia, mentions of antidepressants, mentions of drugs, drug use, mentions of addiction, mentions of nazis, parental neglect, mentions of the dead, cemeteries, mentions of meltdowns,  corrupt government, mentions of cancer, low self esteem, self destructive behavior, medical testing, thoughts of murder, mentions of injury, and mentions of knives, 

Word Count: 6.1k

Songs: Mother- Pink Floyd, He Can Only Hold Her- Amy Whinehouse, A Pearl- Mitski, Me and My Husband- Mitski, Saint Bernard- Lincon, Why Didn't You Stop Me?- Mistki, Nuestro Planeta- Kali Uchis, You Know I'm No Good-Amy Whinehouse, and Love Is a Losing Game- Amy Whinehouse.

 "I’ve been in a very poetic mood lately. I think it’s funny how anything could be considered poetry and something you relate too. Like Twitter or any other social media and the ongoing gag of people feeling the need to announce the fact that they’re making moves in silence. But that’s what I’m doing, making moves in silence. If anyone is in my business now I’m politely asking you to remove yourself from it before I make you.”

A/N: I only did one proofread so sorry if there are typos and this is just more of an infodump to set up other chapters so enjoy ig. I almost gonna start another series a social media AU let me know if you'd want to be tagged in either of these series.

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Nightmares come while I’m asleep but, when I’m awake the nightmares of the day just come for me then, so really I’m just stuck. I would like to say the antidepressants are working, it's just the insomnia that comes with them isn't working for me. I’m honestly starting to think mood stabilizers would do me better.

Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?

I’m not sure I could blame this all on the pills though. I’d have to give some of the credit to the massive bombshell that a certain ex Avenger had dropped on me. 

It's almost like every five seconds a new giant secret about my mom is unveiled to me. Like sure I saw from the video that she’d left me that she had associations with some bad people like Kingpin but nazis? 

SHIELD had apparently collapsed because it was infiltrated by Hydra but it was prevalent while my mom was still alive. Seems like she had worked for or with everyone who was anyone. I’m just gonna give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she didn’t know because up until two weeks ago I didn’t either. 

Her and Natasha had been recruited at the same time and worked together but for someone who claims to have been so close to her you’d think she’d know that she was dead. “She went off the grid and that was the last I heard from her,” is all she gave me with a smile that even I could tell was fake and I’d just met the woman. 

You know when grown folks come up to you and expect you to remember them because they met you once while you were like in the womb that’s kinda my relationship with Natasha. She knows so much about me and I know absolutely nothing about her save for the fact she's a spy meaning she’d be a great liar. 

She used to babysit me sometimes if I could trust what she says that is. Apparently I called her “Auntie Nat”. For some reason no one ever thought it was a good idea to inform me that I had a godmother. Maybe they did and I just forgot. 

I thought they were supposed to take care of you when something happened to your parents. And the one who’s alive is about as useless as the other. It might be fun to have another person that was considered family. Just maybe not a spy at least I’d know she’d walk out of my life so I won’t get attached. 

Mother, do you think they'll like the song?

“Hey mom,” I sighed sitting down in the light dusting in front of her tombstone. “I know it’s been a while and I’ve got a lot to catch you up on,” 

It took a bit of digging before I found what I was looking for in my bag. I ran my fingers along the cold surface of the small jewelry box. There was puffy white glue holding the larger pieces together. 

I placed the box in the grass sitting next to the tombstone. I removed a purple coiled bracelet and sat it next to the box. 

I tucked my legs under my body admiring the piece of jewelry. 

“I brought you a bracelet,” I spoke. “It’s kinda like a friendship bracelet cause I have the other. I don’t know if I should leave it here in case someone steals it,” I laughed. “You’d have to be a real shitty person to steal from a cemetery though,”

I curse so often I didn’t realize I did it until I had already done it. 

“Ah sorry! Excuse my French,” I chuckled.

“I met Natasha Romanoff and she said she knew you. She said she knew me too. I don’t remember her though…” I trailed off. 

For someone who claimed to have a lot to say I sure was at a loss for words. I just didn’t know how to get any of them out. 

“Oh! You’re not gonna believe me if I tell you but I got to meet some of the Avengers. Most of them were new though. You’d know some of them. Like Captain America I wanted his help but he couldn’t provide it,” 

I had a bit of an episode when I was told no one knew where Thor was. I think it was justified though.

 How the fuck do you lose two Avengers let alone the ones that can’t possibly be hidden. One is green and huge and the other leaves lightning bolts everywhere they go.  

Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?

“The other is Natasha but I don’t think I really knew that yet. She went by Black Widow. I’m sure you knew that though. You probably know a lot,” 

I wonder how many secrets she never told me about. I mean I could only imagine all the secrets working for the government would let you in on. Like she probably knew about big stuff like the Tesseract and aliens maybe she could’ve known about that. 

“Okay I have a question. I have a lot actually but I think if you answer them I’m gonna get up and run out of here,” I joked. 

“Number one is my middle name Natalia because of your SHIELD buddy? Like it might just be a coincidence but it could also be a godmother typa situation or something,”

It was a running theory. She would’ve known my mom before I was born. And if what I was told is true they’d be pretty close too and Natasha translates back to Natalia and I know she’s Russian. It makes sense. 

Ooh

Mother, should I build the wall? 

“Uh… there’s this boy,” 

When was there not? It seems like there was always someone in my life. Carmen in therapist mode said it’s because I put my self worth into my relationship status.

 “He’s really nice. Like really really nice. Nicer than anybody I’ve ever been associated with. It’s just he’s like…” I didn't know how to put the next part into words. “He’s just too nice. Too nice for me at least. Like he’s such a good person and I’m just me,” 

“And it’s I feel bad,” I sighed. I was getting myself too worked up over this. “Like I keep playing like a game of tug a war with him where I let him in and kick him out again it’s tiring. I don’t even do it on purpose. I feel like we could be something maybe. But I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen. It’s a self defense mechanism. At least I think.” 

I do it with everyone. I shut them out before they can get it. The less people you let into your life the less people that can walk out. 

It’s a bulletproof tactic. At least I used to think it was. Never realized people could get hurt including myself. 

“I saw dad,” I informed myself? I guess I’m not sure how healthy it is to have a conversation with someone you know can’t respond and isn't listening. “Like two days ago actually I didn’t say anything I freaked out and ran away. It made me think though,”

Mother, should I run for president?

Made me think about how I’d done so well on my own. Well I’m not gonna take all the credit, most of it was Carmen keeping my ass in line. I haven’t talked to her in a while. I haven’t talked to anyone in a while. 

”I found a small studio apartment in Queens. It was the cheapest one I could find. I’m just renting it like an Airbnb right now. I need to find a permanent place and a job,”

 I couldn’t find a permanent place at my age unless I had full autonomy which leads me to my next topic. 

“So I was thinking about getting emancipated which everything would’ve been a lot easier if you were here then we could just go to court for custody cause you’d win for sure.” 

Mother, should I trust the government?

“I know you never got to know how corrupt SHIELD was but do they like keep tabs on everyone who does anything to them or related to them? Because like I did a little snooping and I know they had files for all the Avengers and other people like Kingpin.” 

I knew I was going to have to do more than sit here and ask a dead person what to do but ranting to someone who couldn’t spill my secrets was a start.

 “I was just wondering how deep it went or if they had hidden stuff on me,” 

Mother, will they put me in the firing line?

It’s probably common knowledge that if you mess with the government they’ll mess back. I’d like to think they were like bees. You leave them alone they’ll leave you alone. Only stinging when provoked. 

But every branch of the government is like a wasp. They don’t die if they sting and they’ll sting you for no reason at all. They just like to see people in pain.

And I’m sure the energy research branch of SHIELD would probably be more than interested in a walking fire bomb that can move things without touching them. 

I mean I’m not going to stop poking things around until I figure out what’s wrong with me. So might as well not complain. 

“So I don’t have many things figured out right now and the whole you and SHIELD thing only confused me more so if you could just like come tell me what to do just this once that’d be great,” I laughed.

 At first I was contemplating if this was weird or not but hearing me say that I now know this is pathetic. It always has been.

Ooh

Is it just a waste of time?

But I didn’t know if I should keep searching. Maybe I should just pretend like I’d never gotten introduced to the world of powers or mutations at all. For all I know Peter, Carmen, Felicia, Wade and I are just normal people who do normal people stuff. 

Sure I wanted answers but I didn’t want to end up like those people who spend their whole life searching for an answer they won’t find any and end up never living at all. 

Like a quote my mom used to say all the time “The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all,” 

She really just used it so she didn’t have to listen to being put on bed rest but it obviously had a deeper meaning and she knew that. 

I keep finding myself stuck on that phrase. That and the whole when the dust settles poem. 

I’ve been in a very poetic mood lately. I think it’s funny how anything could be considered poetry and something you relate too.

 Like Twitter or any other social media and the ongoing gag of people feeling the need to announce the fact that they’re making moves in silence. 

But that’s what I’m doing, making moves in silence. If anyone is in my business now I’m politely asking you to remove yourself from it before I make you. 

“Uh I don’t know if I should even tell you this cause you died before it was even a problem in the first place but…” I blew out a breath digging my feet deeper into the ground.

 “I’ve been clean for like two weeks now. Which is actually a thing I’m pretty proud of right now.” 

I’d stopped using everything except weed, nicotine because those weren’t drugs and even then I used it way less than before. Oh, and my antidepressants too but that’s obviously okay they’re prescribed. 

I hated the word clean made me seem like an addict which I wasn’t. I’m many things but I wasn’t an addict. I just didn’t know of any other words to use. 

I wasn’t an addict but I’d say the lines between recreational use and dependency were blurring just a bit. I had gotten it straight though. I’m good now. The antidepressants are helping. 

Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry

“You have a superpower of just making people feel better immediately. I don’t know if it was the fact you were my mom or what but if you even just put a bandaid on a stab wound it’d probably stop hurting and disappear,” 

I wasn’t even exaggerating there was this one time I got hurt at the zoo and she just kissed it and I forgot about the fact that I even fell. 

I’m not sure how true that is though because I couldn’t actually recall the memory I was just told about it by my mom a few years after it happened. So I guess I remember not remembering then being reminded. Weird. 

“I wanna see the giraffes!” Aaliyah cried, stomping her feet down on the concrete.

This was one of the only times mom didn’t have to work on the weekends and Liyah had to have her way like always. 

“Mom!” I screamed “Tell her you said we could see the lions first,” 

She just sighed. “Well since she’s the youngest do you think you could be nice and let her go first please?” 

“Fine,” I huffed. I wasn’t doing it for Liyah, I was doing it for mom. Even a blind person could see how tired she’d been lately. 

Liyah laughed at me sticking her tongue out. She’s such a brat.

“You’re so dumb.” I rolled my eyes at her.

“I know you are but what am I ?” She teased hitting my shoulder before running away.  

I took off after her. She may have been fast but I knew I could catch up to her. 

I almost had her when my foot got caught on something. It launched me towards the ground and I put my hands down to catch myself but I still hit my knee.

I slid on the concrete scuffing my leg. I didn’t scream because that would make me weak and it didn't hurt that bad. I just bit my lip and stood up. 

I didn’t want to limp but it hurt too much to put pressure on my leg. 

Liyah had beat me back to mom and when I reached them she was already apologizing. 

Fake.

 She was just scared to get in trouble. I wasn’t gonna snitch on her anyways. 

“Let me see it,” Mom asked, grabbing my arm, pulling me to sit down on a stonehenge. 

She reached into her purse and pulled out a first aid kit. She always had everything in her purse. It was kinda like a super power. The black Marry Poppins. 

She wiped the scrape with an alcohol wipe and I just barely hissed. It didn’t even really hurt anymore. 

She placed a bandaid on it, smoothing her hands on top of it before placing a kiss there. 

“There,” She wiped her hands on her thighs before standing up “All better?” 

I nodded my head and we went off to see the giraffes because I’m nice like that.

“In case you were wondering, Aaliyah still always gets her way even now. I’d say she’s got me beat on the manipulation game honestly,” 

It’s fine though I taught her everything she knows not everything I know. I could still get one over on her if needed. 

Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true

“I found your pendant, the SHIELD one. Which I guess makes all of this real no matter how much I want it to be fake. I just want this to be a poorly written book where I wake up and the past five years were all a dream,” 

God knows how much I meant that. Well maybe I didn’t mean it too much because some people I’ve met in the past five years are people I don’t think I could survive very long without. Even though I kinda exploded on everyone so maybe I’m gonna have to test my theory on how long I can really survive. 

“Hey Doc,” I greeted pushing up the door of the restaurant. 

“Hey sweetheart, how ya been?” He queried.

“I’ve been better,” 

“I hear ya,” He nodded. 

Once we were in the back of the restaurant aka his office. I pulled out the diamond. Doc knew everything about everyone and anything. He could also make a duplicate of anything you gave him. 

“Whatcha got for me?” He asked, rubbing his hands together. 

“This, I’m not sure what it is,” 

I placed the bird pendant on the desk. I found it in a shoe box filled with my mom's stuff. 

“I was wondering if you knew,” 

He lifted it up to his eye to get a better view, His eyesight so bad that his glasses were practically a magnifying glass. 

“It’s a crest, I don’t think I’ve seen this before it’s most likely from a government branch,” He placed it back down on his messy desk. “I can do some more extensive research for you if you’d like,” 

“Yes, that’d be great,” 

“Stop by again tomorrow and I’ll fill you

I wish I never went back to Doc’s place or found out about flash drive, Vulture, SHIELD, any of it. Just when I thought my life couldn’t get anymore fucked up the devil came out the woodworks and spit in my face. 

Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you

“I remember all that testing they did after I agreed to do whatever Stark needed me to do sooo badly. I still don’t really know what he did- or he’s doing with all that DNA and other stuff he’d gotten from me,” 

Aren’t the Avengers and by default Tony Stark products of SHIELD so wouldn't that mean whoever’s behind all of that could’ve been the one to tell Tony about the fire thing in the first place. 

That had been the main thing about the whole Stark situation that I still couldn’t figure out. Someone needs to tell me how he found out and they better tell me now. 

“There are multiple lacerations 1-2 inches lining the upper and lower abdomen,” The doctor lady announced to her assistant. Before moving her cold hand away from my side pushing my shirt back down. 

Okay that’s chill nothing I haven’t had before. 

“We’re gonna have to do another X-ray is that okay?” Her assistant asked. I wasn’t going to bother to learn their names. I was planning to stay that long anyways. 

What’s the point? They’re just going to come back and say the machine is broken and then do another blood test. 

“Yeah sure,” 

I was led into a much bigger room than the last. There was much more machinery too. 

I was strapped down to a cold blue cushioned table by leather straps. Straps weren’t really necessary, not like I was planning on lashing out and mauling anyone. 

I closed my eyes when the flashes of the machine went off. Apparently I had fractured three of my ribs and bruised my sternum. 

You’d think they’d let me go now but noooo they need more blood and then when they were done drawing blood. 

They had to hook me up to a machine to monitor- I don’t even fucking know what they were monitoring. 

I just know I had all the pads with wires on my temples and chest and everywhere else. It reminded me of that one time I had to do a sleep study. 

Except they didn’t have holographs to read off and fancy probably government funded tech then. They sure as hell didn’t have all this whispering either. Or maybe they did and I was just unconscious.

Still I didn’t even want to actually be here and I was cold for once. 

“How much long do we have here?” I groaned.

“Not much longer. We just have and MRI left,” 

Yeah right. I was gonna be in here for the rest of my life

“I could probably go back there if I wanted answers,” I spoke quietly. 

“But I don’t want the government in my business like that well at least just not more than they probably are already at least and the tests are so invasive,” 

Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing

That’s not the only invasive thing in my life. Or should I say was in my life? I don’t fucking care really.

 My dad was somehow the strictest and the most lenient person ever. I think he just wanted control.

 I used to blame his alcoholism for everything he did but no really he’s just a shitty person. A shitty person who likes to beat on women and take doors off the hinges. 

“You are so pathetic!” My mom screamed at my dad. 

 They had been at this all night. For so long that I’m seriously contemplating jumping out of this small window right now. 

Sapphire had no qualms sleeping on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. Aaliyah and I however were still wide awake. 

I’m not sure exactly what was going on in her head but I’m assuming we're still up for the same reason. To kill our dad if he even touches our mom. 

I had a kitchen knife in hand as I sat on the bathroom sink. I always had a knife every time my dad started yelling a little too aggressively just in case but this time felt different. Like I was really prepared to stab him this time. 

I didn’t know what it was but something felt off. 

“Are they done?” Aaliyah asked, rubbing her eyes. The apartment had fallen silent. 

“I don’t know. Stay here,” I hopped down off the sink. 

I should’ve known she wasn’t gonna listen to me. The kitchen was empty which means they must’ve moved to their room.  

The next moment was the sort straight out of a family sitcom except the family was falling apart and the kids were going crazy but otherwise it could’ve very well been an “oopsie” misunderstanding moment. Where the younger child asks “Are mommy and daddy getting a divorce?” 

Then the oldest child pulls them into their body and whispers “I dunno kiddo,” or “No they’re just going through a rough patch,” anything like that.

 Except it wasn’t that. That wasn’t what she said and that wasn’t what Aaliyah asked me. 

God how I wish that was what she asked me. 

I have a bad habit of acting before I think. I opened the door opening my mouth to let out the words in my brain. 

“You’re dying? How are you dying?” 

They both turned to look at me like they were just noticing they weren’t alone. 

My mom sighed moving closer to me grabbing my arm. 

“I’m- Im not no ones dying,” 

The door creaked as Aaliyah pushed her way into the room. 

“But you said ‘I need you to step up you need to know how to handle it when I’m dead’,” She paraphrased cleaning out the cuss words. 

“It didn’t mean literally dying right now,” 

Now I could see how this could be us just jumping to conclusions from like two sentences but she had been weird lately. Like she’s always traveled a lot and been secretive but lately she’s been extra secretive. 

And I could tell the secret wasn’t to protect herself so whos to say it wasn’t the fact she was currently dying. It actually makes perfect sense. 

I’m starting to wish I wasn’t always right. Stage 4 Lymphoma. Basically we should go coffin shopping pretty soon. 

If only she wasn’t so selfish and would get treatment for it. She couldn’t leave me here by myself. Who’s gonna take care of us if she dies.

 I’d thought about it before and I decided I’d take on the role of caregiver for my sisters but then it was only a what if situation. 

Wade has cancer and he’s not dead but that’s only because he got pumped with like super drugs shit. 

Now I just needed to find some super drugs and figure out how to get her to take them. 

Fuck Cancer and fuck my dad. Why couldn’t he have gotten the diagnosis instead of my mom. A life for a life type beat. 

I guess that wouldn’t have made for a good tragic backstory would it. And what fun is life without a tragic backstory.

 My only question is when does the backstory end and when does the actual plot begin because clearly I’m not there yet. It’s only tragedy after tragedy.

 Maybe that is my story, just pain and suffering. Someone has to be the butt of the joke. 

She won't let you fly but she might let you sing

“You always told me to surround myself with people who you could block out the rest of the world with. Peter’s like that so was Olivia she was one of those people for me. When we weren’t yelling at each other or crying, I mean. Still wish you could’ve met her though,” 

“AH YES!” I exclaimed, pumping my fist. “I found it,” I waved the joint in the air. 

“Alright come sit down then,” Olivia laughed, patting the seat on the couch next to her. 

“Shit,” I muttered. “Where’s the lighter?” 

She just laughed at me again. Before reaching into my pocket and slipping it out. I couldn’t help but smile at how intimate that action felt for no reason at all. 

I quickly and lightly pressed my lips to hers muttering a quick “thank you,” 

About three minutes had passed and I could feel the weed taking course through my system. 

My head was in her lap until I abruptly shot up gasping at the beginning of Super Rich Kids by Frank Ocean. 

“Dance with me,” I pleaded it didn’t take much convincing because here we were twirling around. Although it was much more giggling than dancing. 

I bumped my leg on the glass coffee table and immediately apologized making Liv and I laugh so hard I almost peed my pants.

I was laid out on the soft white fur rug with Olivia laying her chin on my chest. I ran my hands through her hair. 

It was actually very easy there were no knots my fingers just glided smoothly through. 

“I mean shit,” I breathed “I know I can’t run from the rest of the world forever but until then? Bitch you can call me Flash cause I’m zoomin’.” 

She giggled at that before speaking up.

“You don’t have to run you can just stay here with me forever,” 

Her words were so genuine it made me want to cry. She basically just said “I love you” in more or less words. 

“You know what? I think I might,” 

She gave me a tired smile, turning her head to place a kiss on the top of my breast. 

I smiled back at her and how adorable she looked right now. I just want to kiss her for the rest of forever. 

When I glanced back down at her I could hear her breathing slow and her eyes had fluttered shut. She was asleep. 

I felt all warm and fuzzy and at peace and I couldn’t tell if it was the weed or if it was just being in Olivia’s presence. 

I wasn’t ready to say these words to her when she was conscious yet maybe I’d never be ready but I’d say them now. Just to get them off my chest. 

“I love you,” I whispered. 

I never really felt comfortable saying that to anyone. Probably a result of not hearing it enough as a child or something. My family’s never been affectionate anyway. That’s fine because I wasn’t my family, I was my own person. 

Stroking her hair gently before drifting off to the land of dreams myself.

So much for forever huh? 

It’s funny to think how I took times like that for granted if only I knew those were some of the only moments of normalcy I’d get for a while. I’d spent too much time thinking about what could’ve been with almost everything. 

So much so that I didn’t take much time to actually be. Now I feel like I’ve made it to the point of no return. Not mentally but like with everyone else around me. I think I pushed people too far away this time. Not so sure I could get them back. 

“Uh I can't really remember what I’ve already told you so I’ll run through it all. This vigilante or superhero Spiderman started doing his thing then I got caught up in his mess.” That was most definitely an oversimplification but what do I look like telling my mom I was a well known thief. “Then his relation to Tony Stark got extended to me so now I kinda do stuff for him but I don’t work for him.” 

I don't work for him he might think I do, but in reality he works for me. I had almost everyone at the compound wrapped around my finger. 

“I don’t think I really wanna work for anyone. I was offered to be an Avenger in training but that isn’t really my style. I will use his gym though.” I rambled on. 

It was kinda weird how easy it was to rant to my mom like this because not like she could voice her opinions about anything. I guess I hadn’t visited in so long that I forgot what it was like. 

Mama's gonna keep baby cosy and warm

“Oh!” I exclaimed remembering a very important factor that I left out. “Then we have the whole Staten Island fiasco that I told you about. I remember telling you that. I’m still searching for answers on how I did that too,” 

Like some real answers not that radiation BS.

“Your phone’s broken,” I pointed out the cracked screen sitting on the wood. 

“Oh shit!” Peter cried “May’s gonna kill me this is the second phone I’ve broken this month,” 

I came off way calmer than I was feeling. I’m surprised I wasn’t running around screaming right about now. I was probably just paralyzed in fear. 

How do you react in a situation like this in the first place. 

“Okay how long are we going to be sitting here? What are we waiting on?” We’d be up here looking down at the fire crackling underneath the pier for like 15 minutes now. 

“I don’t know actually,” He sighed. 

“Uh…” 

How was I supposed to respond to that? That was the driest response to anything in the history of the world.

 “Well since I’ve already pinky promised I won’t spill your secret can I ask some questions while we wait for you to figure it out?” 

“Sure, go ahead,” He nodded, shaking his arms. 

“Okay number one did you think I had died or something because if someone burst into flames in front of me I’d probably think Satan was coming for me. I’d cry too,” I laughed but had to stop myself as the stabbing in my ribs ran through me. 

“No, I didn’t think you were dead, you had a pulse,” He pointed out “Maybe I could’ve thought you were dying though. And I wasn’t crying,” 

Liar. He so was crying. 

“Aw you don’t have to lie I think it’s cute,” I teased if I didn’t feel like my body was falling apart I might’ve poked his side.

“Alright, second question: do the webs like come out of you? Cause that’s kinda disgusting,” 

“No, I make them with chemicals ‘n stuff. I’d explain the science to you but I’m not sure how much you’d care.” 

I let out a small laugh knowing what feeling would come if I laughed too hard. 

“I mean you could explain it ‘m just not sure how much of it I’d understand,” 

We both laughed at that. 

“On the topic of the webs what’s there integrity like how well do they hold up or like how long,” 

“Uh…” He blew out a breath running his hands over his face “As far as I know they last up to two hours. That is unless someone cuts them or something,” 

I couldn’t help but wonder if Thorn was one of those someone’s to cut the webs maybe I was the only someone. I didn’t really need to ask the question. Aaron had already answered the question for me when he told me about the deal at the ferry. I just wanted to see what Peter would tell me honestly. 

I spent the rest of the night asking questions and cracking jokes. I was talking for so long I didn’t realize how late it’s gotten. 

It should be a world record how fast I managed to fuck up 5 friendships. Well it’s my personal best at least. Only took like 4 minutes. 

I feel like that’s all I do is just fuck up everything. I used to believe there was a difference between being fucked up and being a fuckup but the older I get the more I realize that there isn’t. 

It’s like someone built a self destruct button in my head and every time something good happens to me I feel the need to run away. 

Like Peter he’s literally perfect he's smart, respectful,  adorable, and selfless. He’s literally a fucking superhero for godsake. 

I was trying so hard not to fall asleep. I really was but all the Trigonometry chapter was doing was mixing with the sound of rain outside and triggering the urge to fall into a deep sleep. 

“Okay,” Peter tapped his textbook with his pen. I wish I could be confident enough to do math with a pen. 

“So sin is equal to the opposite of whatever angle you’re trying to find so first you have too…” 

He droned on, I knew he was talking about the math problem lying on the bed in front of me but I wasn’t listening. Maybe if I sat at the desk I could actually be paying attention right now. 

“Y/N?” 

“Hmm?” I sat up on my elbows yawning.

“Are you tired?” 

I just hummed again. Until I realized what the question was. I reached for my phone and it was already 9:03 that woke me up for sure.

“Oh shit! I gotta get back,” 

Not like I’d get in trouble or anything but Carmen would get on my ass about the fact I didn’t come back when I said I would then she’d make something out of nothing. 

I scrambled around trying to find all my things to put them back in my bag.

“Wait it’s raining though,” Peter pointed out.

“Yeah,” I chuckled “It’s New York it’s always raining,” 

“Yeah but it’s cold and wet and dark so if you tried to skate you’d probably get hurt,” 

I knew what he was doing and it was working because frankly all his excuses were shit because one I don’t get cold and two I could just walk and there are lights everywhere but I was gonna stay anyway. I was too tired to argue right now. 

“May!” Peter shouted.

“Yes?” She called back. 

“Can Y/N stay for the night?” 

“Yeah if her parents are okay with it,” 

That’s how I ended up wearing some shirt with some dumb science pun sitting on the couch watching Aladdin for like the millionth time ever. I was singing along to One jump ahead  when I felt eyes on me. 

I turned my head but before I could make eye contact with Peter he acted as if he was watching the movie the whole time.

“What?” I giggled. Fuck, I hadn’t like genuinely giggled in the longest time.

“Nothing,” He replied, turning back towards the TV again. 

This time I was the one to stare at him wondering what was going on in his head. Not even the fourth song in and I was already yawning struggling to keep my head up.

 This goes to show how much willpower I had because I couldn’t even stop my eyelids from falling shut. I deserved to sleep though I’d been exhausted lately. 

There’s only like 6 people on this planet that I trust enough to fall asleep around and surprisingly Peter had become one with like 5 months of knowing me.

 I would still trust him if given the chance I’m just not sure how much he trusts me right now. I understand though. I don’t deserve anyone’s trust. 

Taglist: 

@tomdiddlyumptious​

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #reader x peter parker #peter parker drabble #Peter Parker x Vigilante!Reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x black!reader #peter parker x bi!reader #peter parker x bisexual!reader #peter parker x poc reader #peter parker x #peter parker x villian!reader #spiderman x villian #spiderman x thorn #peter parker x thorn #MCU x Y/N #mcu series #mcu x reader #mcu #Thorn Series #thorns prick

[ddarker-dreams]

Online Love. Yan Shigaraki x Reader [Part 5]

Shigaraki has never had a full grasp on understanding others.

It’s never presented itself as an issue before, due to his unique lifestyle that doesn’t require him to rely upon others to the same extent most do. He doesn’t need to bend himself to the will of others. If anything, people need to mold themselves to his liking. 

There’s no place for coquettish remarks and hidden agendas for the people around Shigaraki. He wouldn’t care for it, and they’d be cut off without a second thought. 

So where do you fit into that? 

He doesn’t know himself. The black and white relationships that stay in neat, understandable boxes for him are all but wrecked by your presence. Where his underlings bite their tongue and present themselves to his liking, you feel no obligation to do the same.

You live as you please, speaking to him as you please. The rules he’s used to don’t apply to you, you don’t even know they exist in the first place. If anyone acted as you did towards Shigaraki, they’d undoubtedly be killed for it. 

There’s a fondness that’s reserved solely for you. 

Even so, he can’t help but feel aggravated at how you’ve been treating him lately. The past three days have been a miserable stretch, his mood taking a turn for the worst. Not due to anything you’ve said to him, no, but because of the opposite.

You haven’t messaged him in seventy-two hours. 

This has never happened before, in the entire time he has known you. In the past three days you’ve not logged onto any of your games, responded to his messages, or uploaded on social media. He’s aware of the fact that you’re physically fine -- a bit of stalking ensured that nothing had happened to you.

A part of him almost wishes that was the case, so he could make sense of it. It would be undoubtedly easier to digest the situation, and he could get you out of the situation with ease.

But the aspect of the unknown is what troubles him the most. His mind wonders pathetically, grasping at any straws to make sense of why you’ve been living your life normally; just without him. 

Staring at his monitor in the dim light of his room, Shigaraki grimaces at the blinking cursor in front of him. Coarse fingers hover over the keyboard, wanting so desperately to seek you out; but unsure of how to go about it. He wants to demand an explanation. 

Were you really able to live your life peacefully without him? Did Shigaraki delude himself of the symbiotic relationship he once believed you two shared? 

His teeth ache from the hours spent grinding together, neck raw from constant scratching. Sleep has all but evaded him, as he spent hours painfully waiting for you to come back to him. For things to go back into the routine he was used to. 

Your absence serves as a reminder of how much he needs you. 

Narrowing his bloodshot eyes, he abruptly stands from his trash covered desk and stalks over towards the door. How dare you ignore him, how dare you treat him like this! Did he mean nothing to you all along? Have you just been waiting for the chance to cut him off, having been secretly disgusted by him all along?

Fury masks over any secret feelings of hurt, Shigaraki intent on demanding Kurogiri to warp him over to you. He’d get an explanation one way or another. Even if he had to pry it from you. Staying idle any longer would surely be the death of him.

Before he opens the door, he hears the custom alert. The one that he had set for you, so he could always know when you were messaging him. 

Shigaraki’s mind goes blank as he goes back over to his computer. He wonders if it was imagined, only to be disproved by a message from you on his screen.

From: [First] 2:06 AM

hello tomo-kun

That... that’s it? Mouth slightly agape from confusion, Shigaraki’s mind races with countless responses. Ranging from cruel words directed at you for ignoring him for so long, to inquiring about what even caused it in the first place. But none of them are typed out as he delivers an equally mundane response. 

To: [First] 2:06 AM

Hey

Anyone else would’ve been facing the wrath of hell right now, but Shigaraki manages to contain himself. Knowing that you haven’t forgotten about him or discarded him was enough to momentarily distract him from his previous rage. Biting his finger nails that were already short from countless hours of similar activity, he awaits your response. 

From: [First] 2:10 AM 

i’m sorry that i haven’t been around... 

From: [First] 2:11 AM

i’ve been having kinda a bad time lately with some stuff. but if it’s okay with you can we play some comp? i kinda just wanna take my mind off it. if you’re not busy that is 

It isn’t concern that he feels, but an undying curiosity. If something major had happened to you, like a death of a loved one, he would’ve known about it by now. What could’ve happened that upset you this much that he wasn’t alerted about? 

Shigaraki silently ponders to himself. Maybe he needs better scouts. 

To: [First] 2:12 AM 

Whatever you want, idm

An immediate response. 

From: [First] 2:12 AM

thank u, i appreciate it

From: [First] 2:13 AM

aaa i feel so dumb. im sorry im sure i worried you. i just havent been in the mood to talk to anyone. its nothing like crazy or anything im fine, just some life stuff 

Shigaraki’s never been the best at comforting people, as it’s a task that he’s never been given. He can barely take care of himself, much less anyone else. But in situations like this, he feels you’re supposed to offer something. Only for you would he stretch himself in this way.

To: [First] 2:15 AM 

What happened 

It might seem like a lackluster response, but to anyone who knows Shigaraki it would come as a surprise. People’s personal affairs have never interested him in the slightest, but you’re a unique case. 

From: [First] 2:16 AM

wellllll its kinda stupid but ig it doesnt hurt to tell you lmao 

From: [First] 2:17 AM

ive... ive had a crush on this guy for a long time. we’ve known one another for a few years, stuff like that. anyways i worked up the courage to ask him out and he got upset at me. saying stuff like im ruining our friendship. it was just really bad, and ever since then ive been on auto pilot 

The word crush hits him like a ton of bricks. He’s incapable of focusing on anything else in that moment, as time all but comes to a stop. His breathing uneven, and hands shaky; he sits back from the light of his screen. Disgust isn’t the right word for it, it doesn’t begin to describe the barrage of emotions he’s experiencing. 

You liked someone. You liked someone that isn’t him. 

Even if he actually wanted to, he couldn’t fake a decent response to your message. All along he’s been under the impression that you may return his feelings. That all the little gestures meant you treasure him on the same level he does you, and that you would one day be his. 

Hours spent daydreaming of you sweetly confessing to him come to mind, as his vision goes red. 

It doesn’t matter how. He’s going to find out who this cesspool of human waste is, he’s going to savor tearing each limb from their body and take pleasure in his screams of agony. Shigaraki will take care of this individual personally, wanting them to suffer in the same way he has. 

There isn’t any way you could like someone else. This all has to be a joke, a cruel prank with an eventual punchline. There’s no other way to make sense of it. No one else could be even remotely deserving of your affections other than him, and no one will ever have them if he could do anything about it.

He will figure out what to do with you and your betrayal later. For now, only this apple of your eye has his attention. Countless cruel ideas flood his thoughts like a tidal wave, a malicious grin breaking out onto his face. 

Shigaraki will make them pay.

#shigaraki tomura #tomura shiragaki #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura imagine #tomura x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagine #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #yandere bnha #my hero academia #my hero academia imagine #yandere my hero academia #my stuff

[jazajas]

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

#love victor spoilers #love victor #love simon #simon vs the homosapiens agenda #leah on the offbeat #simon spier #bram greenfeld #victor salazar #felix weston #jas rambles #i have opinions #and i am very tired #just like in general #like my current state of being #although i am tired of straight being constantly shoved down the thoughts of lgbtq+ people #and like the state of the world because people are bigoted a-holes #but like #it's nice that they upped the airing because they didn't want to conlfict with juneteenth #although now im questioning motives on why #was is out of support? or the want if making money #who knows #i sure dont #i hoped there aren't too many grammatical errors

[hobeymakar]

Unapologetically | C. Makar Part 1

Chapter word count: 3,526

A/N: Title from the song Unapologetically by Kelsea Ballerini. This is my first chaptered fic in a long time and my first written on here, so please be kind. This fic is based off a set of very vivid reoccurring dreams I’ve had over the last couple of months that involve Cale and like the true psycho I am, I wrote the big things that happened in those dreams down. Then I decided recently to just turn it to a fic, so this is pretty self-indulgent. Is it possibly narcissistic of me to write a fic about me? Maybe, but I’m gonna write it anyway. This first chapter is gonna be a lil boring and weird because it has a lot of time skips but Chapter 2 will be much more exciting and way better

Shoutouts: @pizzasloot and @hockey-and-wine for being my biggest cheerleaders for writing for this fic in the gc and also shoutout to @grenawitka​ for always keeping the gc lit. I love you girls!

Warnings: explicit language, alcohol use

-

Tatyana “Taty” Marie Ventura or “Ace” as she is now being known as, never thought that when she started a podcast in the comfort of her Rhode Island home, that she would kind of blow up. Taty started the Ace of Hockey podcast because she wanted a career in hockey media and wanted to do it her way, being unapologetically herself. She started the podcast and started messaging hockey players and other athletes in hopes that they would come onto the podcast to talk about diversity and inclusion in the sport.

That’s how she finds herself on an early October evening receiving a message from Cale Makar on how he’s a fan of the podcast. She internally screams because she never thought an actual hockey player would listen to the podcast. She assumed only hockey fans would listen to the podcast and that it would never reach the notoriety of other hockey podcasts.

From: calemakar_

Hey, just wanted to say that I’m a big fan of your podcast. Buddy of mine showed it to me and I think it’s fantastic. It’s helping me learn how to be a better ally

To: calemakar_

Thank you so much, that means a lot honestly!

From: calemakar_

You’re welcome. I’ve been showing it to the team and they think it’s great for them to learn how to be better allies

To: calemakar_

Wow, that means so much! I just want people to know that hockey is great but it would be so much better if it became inclusive to everyone regardless of sex, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, etc. I just want hockey to really be for everyone

From: calemakar_

That's what we all want. We don't want anyone to feel like they can't play or enjoy hockey because of who they are

She doesn't know how to keep the conversation because she's awkward and just lets the dm sit there. She turns her attention to the latest hockey news and figuring out who's gonna be her next guest for the podcast.

A few hours later, she sees a follow request on her personal IG account and not the podcast account. She sees it's from Cale and is confused on why he would want to follow her personal account. She barely posts stuff about the podcast on there and uses it more to keep up with family with the occasional posts promoting the podcast and the guests. She accepts the request and doesn't think anything of it.

A few days later, she notices that he's been liking her posts and viewing her stories. He's been seeing her interact with family and friends and she still doesn't understand why he cares enough to keep up with her personal account. It starts becoming weird when he adds her on snapchat.

She sends him a dm on instagram to make sure it's actually him and not someone pretending to be him.

To: calemakar_

This might sound totally weird but did you just add me on snapchat?

From: calemakar_

Yeah I'm sorry. Josty thought it would be funny to hijack my phone and add you

To: calemakar_

No need to apologize, I just wanted to make sure it was actually you and not someone trying to be you to catfish girls

From: calemakar_

Yeah no, definitely my account

She accepts him as a friend on Snapchat and sends him a message.

To: Cale Makar

Hope it's okay I added you back

From: Cale Makar

Yeah, that's cool. You didn't have to tho. Don't want you to feel like you had to

To: Cale Makar

Trust me I added you back because I wanted to. I don't just accept anybody

She hits send before she can even think twice about it but then she reads it back and wants the ground to swallow her whole. She panics as she watches the delivered turn into a read and the little bubbles show up saying he's typing. It feels like forever before Cale sends a response back.

From: Cale Makar

Well I'm glad you didn't add me back out of pity

She doesn't know how to respond to that right away so she opens up other messages and posts updates on her work on her story. She goes back to the messages and starts typing a response, not wanting to leave him on read forever.

To: Cale Makar

Why would anybody do that?

She exits out of it and hopes that her attempts at extending a conversation aren't met with disappointment.

From: Cale Makar

I admit you got me there

To: Cale Makar

I get people to say that a lot

From: Cale Makar

Never picked you as the type to brag

To: Cale Makar

There's a lot of layers to me and a lot of things you don't know about me

From: Cale Makar

Well I hope I get to know more about you

She blinks multiple times not knowing if the message was actually real. After blinking several times, she realizes the message was real and she lets out a squeal. Is he actually flirting with her? She pinches herself because she must be dreaming. There's no way her favorite hockey player and crush is flirting with her. Shit like that doesn't happen to her! She has zero game and has been on a grand total of zero dates in her life. She has had zero boyfriends and girlfriends in her life, so this is something brand new for her.

Maybe she's reading it wrong? Maybe he's just being polite and isn't actually flirting. She decides it's better not to stress it and just go with the flow. 

That's how she approaches the next couple of weeks with her pumping out content for her podcast, working her actual day job, and working on her social media game for the podcast. She also dms tons of people she sees as potential guests on the podcast. 

Her conversations with Cale become more frequent as she eventually finds herself sending him snaps daily. He actually feels comfortable enough to comment on her posts on her personal IG page now and she honestly doesn't know how this is all even real.

Like before she's not stressing it and is going with the flow. However, on the day of Cale's 22nd birthday, she gets hit with a message that causes her to freak out a little.

From: Cale Makar

Hey, is it cool if I got your number? It's much easier if I can just text you. I like you and want to keep getting to know you more

She hyperventilates because she has never had another human being shoe this much interest in her, her whole life. She pinches herself to make sure it's real and it really is real. Cale Makar actually asked for her number. She doesn't know if she should be jumping for joy or preparing for something to go wrong. This is completely uncharted waters for her and she doesn't know if she should go with her heart or her mind. Her mind is telling her not to do it, but her heart is telling her to do it. After a minute, she decides to go with her heart.

To: Cale Makar

Yeah, that's totally cool! (xxx-xxx-xxxx)

She sees a text from an unknown number a minute later pop up on her phone

From: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Hey, it's Cale

She saves the number under the name "Cale 🥰" and types out a response

To: Cale 🥰

Hey, happy birthday btw! Hope you're having fun!

From: Cale 🥰

Thank you I'm in Calgary rn with my family

To: Cale 🥰

Glad you're having fun with them

From: Cale 🥰

Thank you it's good to be back home

To: Cale 🥰

I can imagine! I'll let you get back to your family

She focuses on getting ready for Halloween, which also happens to be her sister's birthday. Her sister is turning 21 this year and she wants to make the most of it, even in the midst of a pandemic. They plan on going to Salem, Massachusetts with family and throwing a little party at a cousin's house in Brookline, Massachusetts. She sees Cale post pictures and videos on his Snapchat story of him and his family celebrating his birthday. She sees all his teammates wishing him a happy birthday on Instagram and Twitter.

As she’s getting ready to go to bed that night, she gets a video call from Cale.

“Hello?” she asks, not knowing why he would be calling her.

“Ace!” he shouts, causing her to cringe slightly.

“How’s your birthday going?” she asks.

“Great! I’m with my brother and some buddies from back home! We got a bonfire going on right now!” he explains, showing off the fire and his brother and friends.

She wants the ground to swallow her whole because she looks absolutely disgusting with her hair tied up in a bun, and old URI sweatpants and an URI sweatshirt on. She has no makeup on and she’s pretty sure she has some acne on her face.

“Hey Ace! I’m Taylor, Cale’s brother!” Taylor shouts in excitement.

She can clearly tell that he’s buzzed, as well as Cale.

“Hey Taylor,” she smiles, waving at him politely.

His buddies also introduce themselves and she can tell that they’re also slightly buzzed. A part of her hopes that they aren’t driving and are gonna make it back home safely whether tonight or the following day.

“You should come!” one of his friends suggests.

“I’d love to but I live in America and the border is still closed,” she replies, feeling slightly awkward.

“It’s a shame! I know Cale really misses his girl right now!” another friend chimes in, causing her to almost choke on her wine.

“I’m not his-”

“He won’t stop talking about you! He’s got it bad for you!” another friend adds, causing her to blush even more.

If the ground would swallow her up right now, that would be amazing because she can't believe the shit that she’s hearing right now. She doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol that has his friends saying that but a part of her wishes it’s true. God, a part of her wants him to want her because she definitely likes him. She likes everything about him but she’s too much of a loser to put herself out there more. So she just lets him do all the talking and flirting because once again, she has no game.

“Shut up Taylor!” Cale cries out, shoving his brother lightly.

“Well you seem to be having a fun time with your friends,” she says, not wanting to bring up anything that was said about his feelings for her. 

“It would be better if you were here,” he adds, his voice dropping slightly in volume.

“Yeah, well maybe we’ll meet one day,” she adds, not wanting to sound desperate to meet him or anything.

“When I get back to the States, I’ll make that a reality,” he replies, sounding sincere for being slightly intoxicated.

She’s reminded of the saying that drunken words are sober thoughts and gets a warm feeling in her stomach.

“Well I’ll let you keep having fun, birthday boy. I’ll talk to you later,” she smiles.

“Bye Ace,” he smiles back, before ending the call.

She immediately refills her glass of wine because she’s definitely too sober to be thinking about all the feelings Cale manages to give her every time they talk. She eventually falls asleep and if she dreamed about being in Calgary with Cale, she’ll blame it on the alcohol fucking with her dreams.

The next day is a busy one for Taty as she celebrates her sister’s 21st birthday in the best way she can while in the middle of a pandemic. They go to Salem, Massachusetts and have a blast doing many Halloween-related activities and then once it gets late, they head down to their cousin’s place in Brookline, Massachusetts to watch Halloween movies and to have a good time. Her sister decides to get drunk and Taty posts all their adventures on her Snapchat and her Instagram. She also sees that Cale has been posting his Halloween adventures on Snapchat, which aren’t as exciting this year because there’s no Avs Halloween party this year due to it still being the offseason and not everyone on the team is in Denver at the moment.

The next few weeks go by for Taty and it eventually gets to the point that she’s video chatting with Cale every day. They sometimes will stay up until late at night just talking and getting to know each other. Every day she’s becoming more comfortable and it’s on the first day of training camp, where she decides she’s finally gonna grow a pair and let him know how she feels.

He calls her after a long day at training camp and she actually has the time to talk to him as she isn’t working on anything for the podcast or her day job. 

“How was camp?” she asks him, as she locks herself in her room.

The last thing she needs is for her nosy ass sisters to eavesdrop on her conversations with Cale.

“It was tiring but fun. It was great to be out there with the guys again, even though everything is so weird with the virus going on,” he explains.

“Oh I bet, I can’t imagine all the testing and the extra precautions you guys have to take. The whole season is gonna be super weird huh,” she replies.

“Yeah, weird is a bit of an understatement,” he chuckles lightly.

“I really like you,” she blurts out, then immediately wishes the ground would swallow her whole.

She buries her face in her hands and contemplates ending the call to save herself from further embarrassment.

“Oh thank god! I was starting to think you didn’t really feel the same,” he admits, biting his lip.

“No I definitely like you. It’s just I’m new to this. I’ve never dated before or anything. I’m kind of a giant loser if you haven’t already caught on,” she admits, almost rambling at the end.

“Yeah no, you’re not a loser! You’re the coolest, most fun girl I’ve ever talked to and I just want to keep getting to know you because I really like you,” he assures her.

"So are we putting a label on this? Are we dating?" she asks.

"I guess you can say we're long distance dating," he chuckles lightly.

"I did know our video chats were considered dates," she teases.

"I was seeing them as dates and I want our future ones to be considered dates," he confesses.

"Alright so set up our next date," you tease.

"I know you're recording for the podcast tomorrow so what about Wednesday?" he asks.

"I'm off work Wednesday so that would be perfect. What time works for you?" she asks him.

"8pm my time," he answers.

"Yeah that works for me," she smiles.

"So it's a date?" he asks.

"Yeah it's a date," she smiles, getting a warm feeling in her stomach.

She tells him about some funny stories involving her family and he tells her some funny stories from training camp. They chat for hours and before she knows it, it's past midnight and she has to go to work in the morning. 

“I need to go to bed. I have work in the morning. Goodnight Cale,” she yawns, waving at him

“Goodnight love,” he waves back, ending the call. 

If she cheeses a little at the fact he called her love, no one is around to see it. 

December goes by pretty quickly and she feels bad that her calls with Cale become less frequent. December is the busiest month at work because everyone is doing Christmas shopping (being a store manager is hard work) and she finds herself working double the amount of hours she worked before the holiday season. Add doing the podcast three times a week and she’s absolutely gassed. Luckily, Cale doesn’t hold it against her because he starts getting more busy with preseason starting and his parents coming down for the holidays. Taylor is currently in the middle of his final season in the AJHL so he can’t make the trip down to Denver for the holidays. They text each other every day throughout the month however, and she manages to call him on Christmas and on New Year’s Eve, asking him if he’s excited for the new season to start on the 2nd.

2021 starts off worse than 2020 started because of the pandemic but Taty manages to make the best of it. She watches the Winter Classic while on video call with Cale. Luckily, the Avalanche start their season off at home again this year. The following day, she finds herself rushing home from work to be able to catch the Avs first game of the season against the Wild. She makes it home and takes a quick shower before changing into her Cale jersey and joggers. She quickly eats dinner before going into her room. She puts the game on and makes it just in time for the players to come out to the ice. She watches the game and manages to text Cale throughout the game knowing that he won’t see the string of texts until after the game. He finishes the game with one assist and 2 hits, as the Avs win 4-2 to start off the new season on a high note.

As she’s getting ready for bed, she gets a call from Cale.

“Hey, great game,” she smiles, trying not to show how tired she is.

“Oh shit, I just realized how late it is over there,” he sighs, not wanting to keep her up.

“It’s okay. I always stay up past my bedtime to talk to you,” she teases.

“How was work?” he asks.

“Annoying. We’re winding down from the holiday season but we still got a lot of people shopping and returning stuff,” she explains.

“I don’t know how you do it honestly, being so young and running a store, I mean,” he explains.

“Yeah well luckily I’m only an assistant manager,” she replies.

“Still pretty incredible what you do,” he assures her.

“Says the NHL superstar,” she scoffs.

“Hey, I’m not a superstar at all! I’m just another player like everybody else trying to be the best at my position,” he explains.

“Why do you have to be so humble all the time?” she teases.

“It’s just who I am,” he shrugs.

“And I love you for it but like just admit you’re a superstar,” she replies.

“Fine, I’m a superstar. Happy now?” he teases.

“The happiest. When are your parents going back to Calgary?” she asks, switching the subject.

“Tomorrow,” he answers.

“I’m glad you got to have them with you for the holidays, though,” she adds.

“Yeah, it was great seeing them again. I just wish Taylor could’ve been here,” he replies.

“Yeah well you’ll see him once his season ends and on the bright side, he’ll be at UMass next season,” she adds.

“Yeah I just miss him. I always go home for Christmas and this year I couldn’t,” he explains.

“Yeah I can’t imagine what that’s like but it will get better,” she assures him.

“Yeah I know it will,” he nods.

“I wish I could be there to make you feel better,” she sighs.

“Yeah, well we’ll see each other next month,” he smiles, a hopeful tone in his voice.

“February 5th can’t come fast enough. I’m gonna blow you away with the best interview you’ve ever done,” she teases, referring to her interviewing him for the podcast.

“I guess we’ll have to see about that,” he teases back.

“You wound me, Makar!” she fake gasps.

“I’ll make it up to you with a killer real first date,” he smiles.

“I’ll hold you to that. I expect to be really wooed,” she teases.

“It’s gonna be the best date you’ve ever been on,” he almost guarantees.

“It’s gonna be the first date I’ve ever been on,” she informs him.

“I know. That’s why it’s gonna be the best you’ve ever been on,” he jokes, causing her to roll her eyes.

“You’re so funny, Makar,” she deadpans.

“Stop acting like I don’t make you laugh all the time, Ventura,” he teases.

“What happened to humble Cale? I like him better than this smug one I got here,” she teases back.

“Stop acting like you don’t like it,” he replies.

“Yeah, I like every side to you,” she admits.

“Well that’s good because I like every side of you,” he smiles.

She feels her cheeks heat up and that warm fuzzy feeling return to her stomach. Is this what falling in love feels like? She’s never felt this way before and god, she hopes the feeling never fades because it’s amazing. No wonder people love falling in love so much, it’s magical and she hopes she doesn’t fuck it up. She just counts down the days until February 5th praying to god that nothing goes wrong once they finally meet.

#cale makar #colorado avalanche #hockey #nhl writing #nhl fanfiction #cale makar fanfic #hockey fanfiction #nhl #nhl players #nhl imagines #cale makar imagine

[tfw-no-tennis]

ani....morphs.....

ok so picking up after the david trilogy, which hit hard as FUCK, we have book 23, which basically was a semi truck that ran over my corpse, jesus christ, they really followed up the david trilogy w/all that....

23 was so so good and also painful. its the culmination of a lot of tobias’s characterization in the series thus far and also we finally get the reveal we’ve been waiting for about elfangor....ooooh man 

and there was a lot of painful stuff in this book but the worst imo was tobias wondering if it were possible that somebody wanted him and would take care of him, only to have it all come crashing down in the worst way when it turned out aria was visser three in morph, ouch. 

that was so brutal augh. and when he figured it out and just crash landed and kept thinking about how he wanted to die and how he was stupid to think he could have a home...bro get these kids some THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

so yeah that book was absolutely brutal but also so good...and it further fleshed out the animorphs working as a near-flawless team, w/the whole setup of tobias meeting w/the lawyer being so airtight and well-planned 

also more free hork bajir!! its cool that there's stuff happening w/them offscreen, I like that 

I literally had to take a break from reading the books bc the david triology + 23 was like so much, and also bc the olympics were on and all my time got dedicated to watching those, but then I opened 24, not sure what to expect, and BAM it was the helmacrons lmaoooo

I don't even remember the helmacrons but ig a lot of people hate them? lmao so that whole reputation preceded the book and I was like oh wow time for a change in tone

which wasn't wrong but also I liked that book?? I was never bored, even tho the whole thing was patently ridiculous and also had very little bearing on the overarching story

but I think it would be a standout if it were a TV episode w/a good budget - the visuals were amazing even in text, and I can imagine all the cool shrinking/growing/cellular stuff would be WICKED cool visually (ideally 2d animation but an ant man-esque live action adaptation wouldn't be terrible if they had the budget for it)

whatever let me dream. so yeah I didn't hate the helmacron book even tho the helmacrons themselves were...sure something. lmao I think they come back? that should be interesting

next book is the arctic one, we have yet another alien of the week style adventure - I liked this one too, it felt like more plot-y stuff happened since they destroyed the base, and marco’s POV is always fun 

I do find it funny/interesting how sometimes when the animorphs do something - like in this book, destroying that base in the arctic - it doesn't really seem to impact the yeerks much/it doesn't get brought up much after that. and then other things like them destroying the ground-based kandrona get mentioned a lot (that example is understandable tho bc that WAS a big deal). its just hilarious to me how blowing up entire building complexes has become so routine that it isn’t even worth mentioning at this point

Also I adore when they meet other random people/kids and are chill w/them, like w/that kid they met in the rain forest earlier on w/the time travel 

the descriptions of the brutally cold weather were great. I hate the cold so I was like oof this is a nightmare lmao

also ig that was the first ghostwritten book and I did kinda notice it was slightly different than usual? maybe? I could be imagining it tho 

okay but book 26 tho...BOOK 26. bruh 

that was SO good and I really didn’t know what to expect - but when we finally revisited Jake’s dream w/crayak I knew it was gonna be good (but I didn’t expect it to be a chess game war epic..!)

basically I loved it. SUCH a good Jake book - I really appreciate his character now as opposed to when I was 10 and often overlooked him (sorry jake).

similarly, when I was a kid and read these I sympathized a lot w/the chee and felt bad for them towards the end of the series when they had to get more involved in the war (genuinely don’t remember what they even do but ik I felt bad) 

but now I've basically 180′d and I'm like damn those chee sure are hypocrites huh. 

like they could solve So many of the animorphs problems but their stringent adherence to nonviolence leads to them actively getting in the animorphs way sometimes? and obviously pacifism is a complicated topic, but in this case it also intersect w/the whole ‘child soldier’ thing, and as beings who are insanely old and wise, the chee probably shouldn't just leave all the dirty work to a bunch of literal middle schoolers

aaaaanyways. there’s so much I love about this book. the iskoort! they were sure something. and the ‘plot twist’ that they are actually 2 beings, the Isk and the Yoort - and the Yoort are essentially Yeerks - that slapped. the symbiosis of it all! 

I loved the part where they all realize what this means, that this is why Crayak wants the iskoort destoryed - because someday the yeerks might come across them and realize parasitism is not the only way. I love it! 

alas I don’t recall the iskoort returning in the story (but also my memory is terrible so who knows?) but still that would be cool

basically I feel like this is the book where Jake Truly comes into his own as a leader, in every sense. he outmaneuvers Crayak, and even the ellimist, who’s yanking them around in his own way

the scene where jake shoves the howler off the cliff and jumps off and morphs and acquires the howler...that was fantastic and tense. 

also the murder is definitely becoming more overt. I mean, it has been for a while, but it isn’t really pointed out as much anymore. oof

more on the chee - as Jake points out in this book, and other characters point out in other books - the chee could have saved the pemalites, but instead just stood by while their creators were slaughtered. on the other hand, jake says, what do the chee do AFTER they’ve killed the howlers - where to point them next? when is the end of their violence? 

buuuuut also standing by while atrocities occur is pretty damning, as is frequently mentioned in this series - from the very beginning, when marco initially doesn’t want to get involved in the war at all, and the other animorphs basically tell him that turning his back on the war and acting like he doesn’t even know it’s happening would be immoral and cowardly (which imo this reaction helps to push marco in the direction he ends up going, but I digress) - this topic comes up again in 19 when cassie quits the team and rachel is upset bc she sees it as cassie elevating her own feelings above the greater good (as in, as long as cassie feels good about how she acts, it doesn’t matter how much preventable evil the yeerks are committing while she turns away). etc etc. but that’s essentially what’s happening w/the chee - even tho they help w/intel, the lack of any sort of Action on their part means that they’re essentially allowing awful things to happen when they could prevent them. this is rambly but basically...animorphs deals so much in grey areas, and the chee are noticeably black and white in their actions, despite falling, in a meta sense, in an extremely grey area. its such good, thought provoking writing!

anywayssss I keep talking about the chee lmao what else was there. oh YEAH jake and cassie kissed for the first time awww that was super cute 

and ofc immediately marco teases them as asks jake if he’s gonna kiss him next, and all I can say is...marco is a bicon 

also I love the background worldbuilding w/the iskoort, how they have all these groups and guilds and stuff - its not dwelled on much, which actually works really well to give the world/species a sense of lived-in realness 

okay oh man and the reveal at the end that the howlers were just like...children who thought the whole thing was a game...AUGHH man that’s sooo fucked 

like, when jake morphs the howler and has rachel ready to knock him down in grizzly morph if he gets out of control due to the howler’s murderous instincts, and he morphs to find that the howler is...playful, like a dolphin morph. SUCH a good fucked up sense of dawning horror there 

and the fact that as far as I can tell the chee KNEW this, but wanted revenge anyways, so they let the animorphs assume that the howlers were Evil On Purpose

also I love smaller moments, like jake seeing that ax is ashamed for briefly running away during one battle w/the howlers, and then entrusts him w/an important task bc he knows that ax will see that as redemption - and when everyone thought jake was dead and were so happy when he wasn't (they all love each other so much im gonna cry about these child soldiers augh)

basically that book was so good

man one thing I absolutely love is that the longer the series goes on the more obvious it is that andalites, despite inventing morphing technology, barely use it themselves 

like, most of the andalite characters we see barely morph. its kind of a last resort to them, as they’re already plenty dangerous in their regular forms 

meanwhile for the animorphs, that’s all they have to fight with. that’s their only weapons against the yeerks, and its so fun to see them use the power in so many varied ways, and so creatively, while the andalites have barely scratched the surface of their own technology

its also interesting to contrast against the yeerks who start out w/absolutely no technology, and the andalites share some but not all of their technology w/them...its too bad that morphing technology was just starting out cause that would’ve been interesting

like imo a lot of the conflict w/the yeerks could’ve been avoided if they could just nothlit into better forms - of course, there’d still be plenty of yeerks who want to go start wars or w/e, just like pretty much any species in the series, but a lot of yeerks would probably be like ‘yeah I'm good’ and just chill out as nothlits

also people online love to talk about how humans are alienfuckers and would definitely have sex w/sentient aliens and whatnot, and while I'm not saying that's untrue, its just funny bc in animorphs the truest alienfuckers are definitely the andalites

as of the hork-bajir chronicles, we now have a second instance of an andalite morphing another species to be in an inter-species alien romance (and eventually have kids) 

speaking of, I don’t think I’ve talked abt the hork bajir chronicles yet??? even tho I read it a while ago lmao 

HBC was great...I honestly haven’t really run into an animorphs book I’ve actually disliked at this point, I’m sure it’ll come w/all the ghostwriting and whatnot, but I’ve liked at least some aspects of every book

anyways HBC was great, and it’s funny bc I remember that I read this book as a kid, and yet rereading it now I didn’t remember a single bit of it lmaooo

I really liked the framing device of the free hork bajir telling this story to tobias. I also liked how we know from the beginning that this story wont have a happy ending - we know all the hork bajir end up enslaved by the yeerks, but it’s still somehow hopeful at the end? I think this is largely due to the framing device tbh. 

also I love toby, and I love that the First free hork bajir named their kid after tobias ;_; 

and oooh mannn I LOVED the different POVs from this book. all the characters were so interesting! aldrea was fascinating - I really like the increasingly negative view of the andalites that the readers are getting, all while maintaining the sense that they aren’t like, actively evil, just that they have their issues - like aldrea’s arrogance, and the general andalite arrogance which lead to the loss of the hork bajir. also, who knew andalites had their own brand of sexism? Ls

I did like getting a female andalite tho, that was cool. and dak was really cool, he was such a good, compassionate character who was able to maintain his morals in an interesting way throughout the story

and VISSER THREE...or should I say esplin 9466, because he’s not visser 3 yet...getting his ‘origin story’ was excellent - I really like how we’re learning about visser 3 backwards - we start off the series w/him as the main villain, and he’s campy and menacing, and then we see him in the andalite chronicles as a power-hungry sub-visser trying to climb the ranks and eventually getting alloran as a host, and then back even further here, w/the start of his focus on the andalites and the beginning of his ambition. its been very cool and interesting to see

plus, the beginning of the yeerks as we know them! seerow! alloran! it’s a party and nobody is having a good time, except for some of the yeerks. 

I like how it’s pretty obvious that the andalites are well-meaning with their interactions w/the yeerks, but go about it the wrong way - they give them enough technology that the yeerks realize there’s a whole world out there to experience, and then they blockade the yeerks on their planet and tell them they can’t leave. nnnnot the best approach imo

again, as I said above, I’m interested in how things could’ve gone if the andalites had given the yeerks morphing technology early on - could a lot of the conflict have been avoided, or would it have been worse? the yeerks seem pretty evil in this book, immediately jumping to enslave anyone they can. otoh we hear from esplin that not all yeerks like having host bodies, and find it overwhelming, preferring to swim around in the yeerk pool as a slug - I assume as host bodies became more available this type of thinking was probably stamped out in yeerk society or w/e, but there are a lot of interesting what-ifs in the situation 

I loved the scene where esplin first experiences having a host, and immediately knows he can’t go back. there are a bunch of great sensory descriptions, and it’s a nice scene to pinpoint as a foundational moment for the visser three in the current story, who spent a lot of time and energy getting what he sees as the best possible host body, an andalite

I find it interesting how much visser three clearly respects the andalites, even while constantly deriding them. and you can see the origins of that here as he immediately focuses in on the andalites, working to become an expert on them in order to make himself useful enough to move thru the ranks

another thing I like is how esplin seems a lot more crafty and ambitious than the visser three from modern times - I would guess that reaching his goal (andalite host body) and being given all that power was detrimental, playing on his weaknesses instead of his strengths. basically, I don’t think it’s ooc or anything, I can see how HBC-esplin became animorphs-esplin, especially w/TAC in between

as for seerow...poor dude. you really do have to feel for him, because you get the sense he really did just want to be kind to the yeerks, but it was borne from a place of pity, and he (and the other andalites) consistently held too much power over the yeerks for the species relations to ever be truly equal and functional 

AUGH I have so many thoughts about alien space politics. omg. I need to talk about the actual story lmao

so yeah I also feel for aldrea, she had a rough time, watching her entire family die and being thrown into a hopeless war

and then the andalite council or w/e not listening to her bc she's a girl AND seerow’s daughter...oof

also, I really really liked the running theme of the andalites - specifically aldrea - looking down on the hork bajir as ‘simple’ and constantly underestimating them, especially dak

and I like how this is portrayed as a bad attitude for aldrea to have, and she still remains and interesting and sympathetic character even while having obvious flaws. it’s about being 3-dimensional baby!

and oh man I love that dak realizes that aldrea looks down on him, and his entire species, but he can see that that’s how the andalites are, and it all connects back to the beginning of the story w/the yeerks, bc the andalites looked down on the yeerks and treated them with pity and kept them pinned under their proverbial thumb ‘for their own good’ and look how that turned out 

but dak is wise and kind enough to not hate aldrea for this, even acknowledging when she’s using him, but not pushing her away because he recognizes good in her too - and she ends up changing, partially because of his faith in her

and I feel like it can all be compared to that scenario of like - a hypothetical creature that lives in a 2D world suddenly being thrust into a 3D world, and comprehending what its seeing, and understanding that there’s so much more out there outside of the flat lines of its world - and then its dropped back into 2D-land with the knowledge of all the stuff its missing out on, and no way to get back to it or explain it to anybody else

I loooove that ‘trope’ or w/e you wanna call it, and it’s done beautifully here w/the yeerks - whos the say they wouldn't have been fine in their pool swimming around; as esplin said, a lot of the yeerks were terrified of having a host, it was only from the andalites’ perspective that their lives were sad and pitiful, and the andalites showed them what the world could be like, and then said ‘no, you can’t travel the stars like we do, you have to stay here on your planet and do what we say.’

and then again, w/the hork bajir - dak talks about how, even though he drinks up the knowledge that aldrea gives him, in the end it might have been better to just have lived peacefully, not knowing what was in the sky or the Deep - as aldrea says: “It was too late for Dak: he knew that the stars were not flowers.” 

plus the hork bajir having to go from a completely peaceful species who don’t even understand the concept of violence, to a bunch of soldiers fighting a war...oof 

basically everyone in this story uses the hork bajir. the yeerks use them as hosts, the andalites use their planet as a convenient place to dump seerow and then take their sweet time coming to help, and the arn created them as means to stabilize the planet, but block them off from their society and refuse to help when the yeerks come

like, the arn modifying themselves to be un-infestable by the yeerks and then being enslaved for physical labor instead? oof guys. if they had teamed up w/the hork bajir resistance things might have gone better, but probably not 

more on aldrea - throughout the story I was always thinking ‘how am I supposed to see her? as a good person, or as a bad person?’ 

as a POV character, especially a ‘good guy’ andalite, you just start off automatically thinking of her as a good person, but as the story goes on, she starts getting lost in revenge and begins using dak and the hork bajir, and you’re left wondering if this is a story about her slide into darkness, and then towards the end of the story her character development culminates in her making the decision to stay w/the hork bajir, and the be with dak, and that’s about when I went ‘ohhh right this is animorphs so every character is pretty much gonna be grey’

I feel like that moral grey-ness was on full display w/aldrea, and I really enjoyed that. I love so much when characters who are good do bad things, for good or bad reasons, especially in media like animorphs that’s aimed at kids. it’s so compelling. 

oof, and the ending when aldrea convinces dak to mobilize the hork bajir and teach them violence...and dak asks her if she’s ever killed another andalite, and she’s horrified, and says of course she hasn’t, and he says that that’s what she’s asking him, and all the hork bajir, to do - to kill their own people, even if they are being controlled by the yeerks. biiiig oof. I love that dak can keep up w/aldrea and her andalite supremacy attitude - it seems that the non-andalite characters who get along best w/the andalites are the ones who wont take their bs 

what else happened....oh my god how could I forget about alloran, and his quantum virus. oooof. I like how we find out about alloran in parallel to visser three, in the same backwards way - in animorphs he’s the tragic host of visser three, in TAC he’s the disgraced but still semi-respected war-prince who becomes the first ever andalite controller, and here he’s the guy who decides to commit some war crimes because, hey, we haven’t tried that yet 

but yeah that was fucked up, I love it. I’ve said it before I think but I like that alloran isn’t some perfect martyr tragically taken by the yeerks - it’s a lot more compelling that he’s a very flawed person who was taken as a controller partially due to his own bloodthirstiness. 

but yeah, the part where aldrea morphs alloran and ‘sneaks’ into that room was great. aldrea’s dedication to disposing of the virus is a great indicator of her character development - it really feels like the straw that broke the camels back w/re: to the andalites not being what she thought they were, w/their tardiness coming to help the hork bajir planet and the way her father was treated being the precursors to this realization. it all culminates nicely in aldrea saying ‘fuck this actually’ and nothlit-ing into a hork bajir.

and it’s really tragic but realistic that even though aldrea and dak end up seeing eye to eye at the end and getting together, the virus ends up being released anyways (and fails in its objective to stop the yeerks from using the hork bajir - the whole thing was p much a lose-lose situation oof), and aldrea and dak still die fighting a hopeless war 

but then we have the free hork bajir on earth, including toby, who, like tobias, has andalite ancestry, but no DNA to show for it - I like that they have that connection as well as tobias being her namesake

so yeah I enjoyed that one and its many-layered themes

WOW this got long uuuuuhhh ok I think i’ll leave this one off here. at the time I’m actually finishing the writing and editing, I’m on book 35 lol so I have some backlogging to do. never fear, I have a lot to say....

#lj reads animorphs #animorphs

[badfauxmance]

Alejandra & The Bus Stop Poster

We got some Asks about Alejandra’s recent IG story where she had a picture of the Falcon & The Winter Soldier poster. It’s rather amusing she’s not even the one who took the picture, but someone else connected to Jon Kortajarena did it and tagged both her AND Sebastian. Just for the purposes of addressing ALL these similar Asks at once and also to clear out the inbox, you can read them below!

Ask 1: it pisses me off that ale is trying to act like she’s supportive of her “bf” she has one of her friends tag her in a pic of tfatws poster like i get it’s all a game to her but come on this is just pathetic

Over all, it’s another lazy attempt to show she’s a loving girlfriend or friend or whatever the hell she’s supposed to be at this point in Sebastian’s life. She looks foolish anyway. She’s tied herself to Sebastian because he’s the only way of getting her any relevancy and it’s dwindling fast since he just doesn’t care anymore.

Ask 2: Firstly- i fucking hate she posted the story and took some well deserved attention away from seb. He has worked so hard with Bucky and deserves all the attention on him today. Secondly- I was thinking. Maybe we should be low key happy that was all she could do. With her being in Spain filming she can't do much abd thankfully it was just a story that will dissappear in a day. Again i fucking hate that she took attention away and I was fuming when I first saw it. But maybe the fact that the story was all she could do could be the small bright side? We've seen her do a lot worse baiting wise. Also- how much longer for the contract? I know I sound like I'm whining but seb has looked so much better without her around. I will lose my shit if she turns up again.

We all have been trying to figure out how long this stupid contract is. So there’s been 3 possibilities.

It’s about 6 months long

This contract is dependent on when Falcon and The Winter Soldier is released so it’s slightly open ended date.

The standard one year contract based on what celeb-as-fuck has written about on her blog before.

There’s also a possibility that there’s an “if statement” where it’s #2 or #3, which ever comes first situation. Like I’ve said in some other Answers recently, it’s pretty obvious it’s not 6 months otherwise this nonsense should have ended once we said goodbye to 2020. At this point #2 & #3 are at play here. We’re being optimistic, but honestly the behavior of Team Sebastian seems to be suggesting it’s #2, but at the same time we can’t dismiss the sad fact that it really could be we’re stuck with this nonsense for a year. And if we’re stuck with 1 year, that means probably either May or June.

He seems to be looking generally better away from her than with her. Their fake relationship and her personally was probably adding to whatever stress he’s dealing with. All I can say it we sincerely hope that things will be better for Sebastian on a personal level.

It kind of reminds me of this convo I was having on Discord with one of the co-writers and the other speculators we’ve been talking to. I remember in this one convo I was saying how if I could ask Sebastian a question it would “How are you?” And I don’t mean the typical “how are you?” you ask and not really mean. I’m talking about the “hold your hand, look them in the eye, and asking them how are you really?” I can’t help wondering how many people in his life actually ask him that question and he can give them an honest straight answer to that. Maybe I’m just talking out of my ass at this point, but it seems like if he had more people like that around he’d look less miserable this past year.

Ask 3:  Ale posted a story of a poster of Falcon & Winter Soldier with the caption "Yeahhhh!" so she's definitely trying to imply she's still in Seb's life and being a "supportive girlfriend". Not sure how that works with the new articles claiming they're just friends, and with the PR stuff with Seb and Daisy. I wish he'd finish with one PR gf before moving on to the next one lol.

I don’t think they’re really doing to do another PR girlfriend with Daisy. I do however think they’re going to allow speculation to get people interested in BOTH of them. Let’s not forget that a hypothetical Sebastian/Daisy fauxmance would benefit both of them. Hypothetically Alejandra and Sebastian should have benefited from their fauxmance. Problem is she’s a nobody actress who is super problematic. She was only able to get him because she has money. Otherwise there is no way in hell CAA would want any of their talent to do a PR romance with someone who is a nobody.

But like I’ve said in other Answers, Team Sebastian allowing suggestive articles about Daisy and Sebastian is there way to cut ties with Alejandra without having to confirm that he and Alejandra were “dating” in the first place. Hollywood is just plain weird man.

#sebastian stan #alejandra onieva #daisy edgar jones #wannabes just wanna be famous #when will this trainwreck stop? #we are counting down to when this contract is over

[muzzleroars]

I just got to Jan in p5r and like I am loving akechi being here if only because finally some one is calling everything bullshit and like just saying what i feel! like! I just want to be mad! lol when they were talking and haru who was like this will be so weird cuz we only steal bad guys hearts while sitting next to futuba! as if all of a sudden everything solved and perfect doesn't negates the growth and struggles we went thru! but I do love doc and his slanted view of wish fulfillment=good

MAJOR P5R SPOILERS UNDER THE READ MORE!

GOD YEA ME TOO HONESTLY ME TOO. i love the characterization of goro in the third semester, the fact that he is very much about his own autonomy and the ability to make decisions given what his life has been. he continues on with no regrets for what he did because he wants to honor his own choices and he never wants that taken away from him given how often it was throughout his life. he cherishes the decisions he could make, they are more precious to him than even a perfect world, and his conviction to that stance is a really amazing addition to his character. BUT...god i know the narrative wants to make it seem like akira is sort of flip-flopping but SAME i agreed with goro 100% from the very beginning lmao the core of my akira’s character is also his autonomy and freedom, so he and goro have basically identical values in this situation, plus he honestly feels betrayed by how maruki used him. yes, it is a little hard for him seeing his friends so happy to have their lives so perfect, but he knows they don’t want this either, all of them fought for their growth and their freedom, akira can’t allow another adult to steal it from them all over again. and also just. akira is so burned out by this point in the game. he literally just summoned the whole devil to kill god...and now he’s STILL got more to clean up? it feels like a slap in the face to him, all the hard work, the literal blood, sweat, and tears that he and his team put into saving the ENTIRE WORLD from a malevolent god, how they risked their lives and were nearly wiped from the plane of existence....but then this clown shows up to force his will onto reality when they SPECIFICALLY JUST KILLED A DEITY FOR TRYING TO DO THAT. like. akira to me by this point is very cynical actually - he and goro are extremely close in character, it’s just the akira can play off being more lighthearted with it. but at his core, he’s deeply angry, deeply offended that he was tricked AGAIN by a mentor figure (the igor thing still hurts, and now this), and he’s a little out for blood now. SO YEA all the stuff with goro being like “are you SURE you’ll HELP me or are you too WEAK and SENTIMENTAL” my akira is literally just like “goro if you say anything that stupid again i’m going into the palace without you” kdfhdgdfdg and honestly, i think i headcanon the third semester that way because you just...don’t expect this level of betrayal from maruki. i thought the reveal that he knew you were a pt and then this shift into him as a villain was so well done, because i, as the player KNOWING spoilers, felt betrayed, so like!!!! so good on them for writing maruki that well!! he’s so likable and you DO trust him, i loved him and felt super sympathetic toward his plight....until his rank 10, when he tells you he knew akira was a phantom thief from day one. and so i just wish the game LET akira be angry about it. i understand they sort of want the protags of the persona series to be understanding and open people, but GOD like p5 is built around anger and rebellion. plus like...even the most understanding and open people have limits, boundaries, expectations of others...akira may be hard to hurt, he may be good at looking at things from different perspectives, but how could this not be upsetting??? and that’s where the narrative loses me a little - the maruki twist is great, the reaction of the characters and the narrative itself is not. maruki is framed as wholly sympathetic and not bad in the slightest - like you mentioned with haru saying they’ve only stolen the hearts of bad people when 1. that’s not true, futaba and sae are right there (ig sae is more arguable, but i wouldn’t call her a villain like the rest) and 2. maruki???? isn’t a good person???? he’s doing what he’s doing for the right reasons ig, but he has no respect or care for how people actually feel about what he’s doing, like he COMPLETELY disregards consent which is the number one thing a therapist should know is vital to helping others...and honestly, there is a power trip in how he believes himself to be a savior of mankind and the repeated mentions that this is “his” world. like he’s not “bad” per se, but he’s not good either - their sole dilemma should be only about whether it’s right to destroy this world since it is arguably better for many people in many ways. but then again, i think the thieves don’t view maruki in the same way akira or goro do, so it could be why they view him strictly as a good person. 

#I RANTED AGAIN ABOUT THIS GOOD GOD.... #also i always find it REALLY funny how they're like #'we gotta be careful with maruki we've never fought someone so powerful!!' #uhhh we literally JUST beat god lmao HELLO?????? #also i will say it the maruki fight is easier than yaldabaoth like hands down #ann ryuji goro and curse build akira SWEEP that fight easy #triple baton pass to colossal almighty damage with no sp #it's an absolute massacre lmaoooo #ESP if ryuji has arms master and ann has spell master it's so bad #p5 #p5r #akira kurusu #goro akechi #the councillor #p5r spoilers #persona 5 royal spoilers #Anonymous

[seertale]

Talking colors: PaperJam(PJ). Omni. Killer. Nightmare. Dream. Cross. Ink. Error. Stain. Hope. Fade.

Call It A Game Night.

They decided to have a game night together.  It had been forever since they’d last done so, so they figured it’d be a good idea.  Ink was helping Error set up the first board game, Life.  Dream and Nightmare were working on some food while Cross was looking for some other games stored in the attic.  They were in Nightmare and Killer’s mansion.  Stain came in with some nerf guns, Hope in tow with Fade, and an armful of bottles of alcohol.  Fade had their own armful, mainly because they owned the most alcohol and would be able to help everyone find something they liked.  They set everything on the kitchen counter and Fade made sure they had all the alcohol they’d brought.

“How much did you need?”

“It’s fine, I have a lot.  Besides, I know everyone’s tastes vary.  Do you want help with that food?”

Nightmare nodded, moving to let Fade join in helping them cook.

“Sometimes, I’m surprised that you became a rock star instead of a chef.”

“Well, do you blame me?  I picked up my first electric guitar at 12, I think I’d like to learn how to play it.”

“Whatever.  How are the spouses doing?”

“They’re doing good.  Nel’s out helping shop for baby stuff while I’m here.  I hope she doesn’t cook.”

“Why would you hope your wife doesn’t cook?”

“Have you seen how badly she burns her food?”

Nightmare just chuckled as he plated what he was working on and brought it out to the living room.  He set it on the big buffet table they’d set up for the game night.  As soon as Ink saw the food, he moved to take a bite.  Despite their past, he couldn’t help still being on good terms with Nightmare and would definitely admit to how good he thought Nightmare’s cooking was.

“Oh my god, Night, this is so good.”

Nightmare passed it off with a wave of his hand, “Just wait until Fade brings their food out.  They’re a better cook than I am.”

“Still.  This is really, really good.”

“Ya, ya, I know.”

Dream came out with his food next.  He’d spent all day roasting a ham since he knew how hungry everyone got while drunk.  Cross came down after with a few more games and, after setting them next to the now set out Life, moved to hug Dream.  Dream giggled a bit and hugged him back.

“Hey, Love.”

“Hi.  Having fun?”

“Oh, plenty.  Wanna try the ham?”

“Sure.”

Dream picked up a fork, taking a piece of ham and feeding it to Cross, who immediately hummed in appreciation, “That’s really good.”

“You think all my cooking is good.”

“Ya, but this is really good too.”

He giggled a bit before Cross led him over to the game table.  Fade was coming out with their food.  Stain and Hope had already sat down.

“Alright, who wants something to drink while we wait for arntul Omni and PJ?”

Multiple hands went up and Fade asked them what they thought they wanted before grabbing them.  They grabbed wine and whiskey glasses and poured things accordingly.  Killer quickly came with some cases of beer and set them down next to the game table.

“Sorry it took so long, a Karen was arguing with the shopkeep.”

“It’s alright.  Sit, Fade’s getting us some alcohol.”

Killer nodded and sat next to Nightmare, opening himself a can of beer as Fade started bringing drinks out.  Once everyone had their drinks, they took a quick portal to their house and came back with an alcohol-smoked turkey, just as PJ and Omni arrived.

“Oh, just in time.  We were just about to start,” Killer was shuffling the different decks of cards. “Want anything to drink?”

Omni shook their head, though looked at PJ.

“A beer for now, please.”

Killer nodded and got PJ a beer from the case.  They cracked it open as they sat and Omni moved to get a large plate of food for them both.  Fade sat down next to their adoptive dad, Stain.

“Ok, so we got the expansion pack so we could all play.  Everyone chooses a color.”

They gradually chose their own colors and started the game.

~~~

Everyone but Ink and Omni were at least somewhat inebriated by the time they finished playing Life.  Ink not being inebriated was a bit strange, seeing as he’d had at least fifteen beers and three glasses of whiskey.  Omni hadn’t drunk anything but they did munch.  PJ was leaning against them, waiting for the next game.  Stain, who'd already finished his last turn, was working on the next activity.  Dream seemed the drunkest, but he hadn't passed out yet, so it was probably fine.  After a moment, Stain came back with nerf pistols.

"There's enough for everyone to have one.  Who wants to play nerf hide and seek tag?"

Everyone was immediately in agreement.

"Alright, so someone is the seeker and carries a nerf pistol.  Every time a seeker finds someone, they need to be shot by the seeker or they aren't tagged.  If they are tagged, they then become a seeker too.  Anywhere is free game for hiders.  Who wants to seek first?"

Nightmare raised his hand.

"Alright," Stain handed him a nerf pistol and set the rest on the table. "If you become a seeker, pick one up.  Pops, count to 60."

Nightmare nodded and closed his eyes.  Shuffling could be heard.  Cross currently had his husband on his back, carrying him to a closet on the highest floor.  All the kids Nightmare had were being watched by Red and Blue at Ink's mansion since it had a surplus of rooms.  They had plenty of rooms.  He took Dream into the farthest room from the staircase, carefully setting him down in the walk-in closet.

"Alright, Dreamy.  You've gotta stay quiet or they'll find you."

"Is that bad…?"

"No, but you'll lose the game."

He nodded with a small giggle and Cross closed the door, going to find his own place to hide.

~~~

Knowing his husband really well, Nightmare was able to find Killer first.  He was hiding in the library, small enough to fit in the shadows of one of the towering shelves.  Nightmare just examined the shelves, debating on which one Killer was resting on, before letting off a bullet at random.  He heard a small, boney thunk and a whisper of an ow.

"Got you."

"Fine, you got me."

Killer started to climb down.  Nightmare moved a tentacle to help him.  He couldn't have his husband getting hurt.  Not since he was the only doctor that could fix him immediately.

"Alright, go grab a pistol."

Killer nodded and ran off.

~~~

Stain took a deep breath as he finally situated himself with Hope.  They were hiding in the tub in one of the bathrooms and it was obvious Stain may have to carry Hope once they were found.  Hope, having lower magic, was much more affected by alcohol, so even just a can was pretty much half a bottle of whiskey to him.

When Killer inevitably pulled the curtain back to reveal the two, he immediately became a put worried, seeing as Hope was heavily passed out against Stain.

“We should be alright… we can get him on the couch and we can get him water when he wakes…”

Killer nodded, simply shooting Stain and running off to continue what he was doing.

~~~

He quietly padded down the hall, pistol in his hand.  Out of all the places he would know Fade would hide, he could not, for the life of himself, find his adopted child.  Stain guessed he would have to look in different places.  His first place of search?  The kitchen.  Fade always loved the kitchen and, with how small they were, he wouldn’t doubt they’d shoved themselves in the pantry.  He took a quick peek… only to find out he was wrong.  They weren’t hiding in the pantry.  So then where were they?

They couldn’t fit in any cupboards.  But Stain’s partially inebriated mind definitely thought so, and he started searching the cupboard like he was raiding the kitchen.  Fade was in the cupboards!  Specifically, the cupboards under the sink.  Fade had moved it all to a separate cupboard and squeezed themselves in.  Stain quickly shot them and moved to help them out.

“How did you fit in there?”

“I’ve always been small.”

"Still.  Wow."

They just nodded and went to get a nerf pistol.

~~~

In the meantime, Killer had found PJ and Omni.  It hadn't been hard, since Omni had agreed to make out in the room they were hiding in while waiting.  Now, they were teamed and hunting for others.  Their first go-to would've been Ink since he was usually easy to find depending on the person.  But even then, years of Ink having learned how to hide made him even more dangerous for the seeker.  They paused their search for him when they heard a yell and realized that it probably wasn't a good idea for Ink to be hiding from Nightmare.  They quickly followed the yell.

Nightmare had Ink restrained, mostly because Ink had gone defensive and currently had his hatchet in his hand.  He was struggling to be let go and PJ set their pistol down to comfort their dad.

"Dad, calm down.  It's ok.  It's just hide-and-seek.  No one's gonna hurt you."

"H-How do you kn-know…?"

"Has Nightmare actually hurt you…?"

That's right.  It was Nightmare.  Not Dark.  He hadn't been hurt.  It was just a game.  Ink took in a breath and Nightmare carefully set him down.

"Sorry…"

"It's ok… I'm just… not gonna play for now…"

Nightmare nodded and PJ picked their pistol up again, going with Omni and Nightmare to find the last ones hiding.

~~~

Error now knew why Ink always felt so safe hiding under the bed whenever he got scared.  It was small and cozy and it would be hard to get him out without lifting the bed or him getting out himself.  Despite that, he held his breath when he heard a couple of sets of footsteps and a door open.  Someone was searching the room for him.  It was Stain and Fade.  There was the sound of something being set on the desk in the room before the bed creaked, being lifted up.

"Good morning," a nerf bullet hit him smack-dab in the forehead and he giggled a bit, moving to carefully push himself out.

"Why hello there."

"Did you sleep well?"

Error stood, "Very."

"Dad's downstairs on the couch next to Hope.  Otherwise, we found Cross and we're gonna gang up on Dream."

"I think I'll go to Inky.  What happened?"

"Got a bit scared by Pops, but he's ok."

Error nodded and went to find Ink.

~~~

Nightmare put a finger to his lips as Cross led the way.  They were all locked and loaded.  Once they got to the room, Cross went over to the walk-in closet door.  He put his hand on the handle and carefully ripped it open.  They were all quickly met with Dream's shrieking laughter as they fired everything at him.  Once they were all out of bullets, Cross moved to check on him while the others picked up the bullets.  He pulled Dream gently against his chest and Dream started to drift to sleep.  He hadn't had alcohol in forever, so it wasn't surprising.

He picked up his husband and took him downstairs to rest.  Error and Ink had set up Monopoly while waiting.  Cross sat at the table, holding Dream in his lap.  After a minute, everyone else took their spots to play.  Killer made sure Hope had something to drink upon waking.  Dream had easily fallen asleep against Cross.  Cross just smiled as they played.

~

Dream was passed out for about an hour before he started to wake up a bit.  The game was still going and he seemed confused since Killer was now yelling at PJ for making him go bankrupt.  Ink laughed a bit from next to Error.

“Monopoly, the game that tears families apart.”

Dream giggled a bit and Cross looked down at him.

“Well, hello there, Dreamy.  Sleep good?”

Dream nodded and moved to get up.  He was kinda hungry.  Cross let him stand, watching him go over to the food table and get himself some turkey.  He seemed content as he sat down again, this time next to Cross, and ate.  Once he was done, he went to put his dishes in the sink and seemed to just completely disappear.  Cross was a bit concerned but kept playing.

~

15 minutes after Dream disappeared, he came back, holding one of the nerf pistols.  He pointed it at Nightmare, the banker.

“Gimme the money.”

Ink was starting to laugh.  Nightmare didn’t respond at first, earning him a nerf bullet to the nose.

“I said gimme.”

Once Nightmare seemed to process what Dream meant by money, Nightmare took a one-dollar monopoly bill and gave it to Dream.  Dream pretty much threw the pistol down.

“Crossy, we’re rich now!”

Ink burst out laughing and Cross stood, hugging Dream.

“That’s great, Dreamy.  Now, why don’t we get you some water and go home?”

“Ok!”

~

This is based on a roleplay with @star-gamerxox

It was an idea we came up with but never got to inact so I had some fun(it's 2206 words, fite me-). It's been in the works for well over two weeks.

Credits:

Nightmare and Dream belong to (insert name everyone knows and I don't wanna say)

Cross belongs to jakie95

Error belongs to loverofpiggies

Ink blongs to comyet

Omni belongs to cereusblue

PaperJam belongs to 7goodangel

Killer belongs to rahafwabas

Hope belongs to pepper-mint

Stain belongs to nimaruu

Fade(a technical fusion but not quite) belongs to me(seertale)

Nel(laya) is the wife in Fade's poly, mentioned as the one they hope doesn't cook, and belongs to @star-gamerxox