#but good lord i get so invalidated over and over again by my mother (should have never told her. thats my bad) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

greytoiletpaper · 4 years

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Out on Allen Street, it’s 7 in the Morning

Set in the same-ish street-siblings universe as First Contact by @cryptids-and-muses and @a-sketchy-character @streetsiblings (they’re still awesome). Now, the pieces start falling into place or smth lmao :))

Drizzle | Deluge | AO3

Chapter 3: Squall

Did they get rid of her?

He dreads to think of it, but there’s nothing else he seems to be able to pick out from what information he gathers. Three years after he died, Cass (who hated killing, would never do it even for the worst of the worst) had nearly murdered the Joker. She almost finished the job until Batman saved the madman and subdued her. After that,

Nothing.

Not a single report on Batgirl. Nor a photo of Cassandra Todd. Only two traces he could find. One a significantly sullen Wonder Woman (he and Cass had liked her, and she, them). The other an interview of Bruce, repeating that she’d gone to ‘travel the world’.

Jason knows a lie when he hears one.

“It’s – It’s like she just disappeared,” He’s gripping his head, rocking back and forth while Rose smooths out his hair. “He cut her out of the family and then what?”

He remembers a promise, a vow Bruce had made with him. It had meant the world to Jason.

Bruce had broken that vow. Torn it apart and stomped all over it.

Rose watches him as he breaks down with no judgement in her gaze, just holds him close as his world crumbles around him again.

There’s a child in Nandra Parbat, and Jason has to train him.

“This is my son, Damian,” Talia had said to him, showing him some new kid as if he hadn’t just killed three assassins in the space of a minute. He would have said as much if she didn’t immediately order him to be the kid’s new teacher.

Looking at him now, all Jason can see is a small girl with a crooked smile mouthing his name. He blinks, and he’s met with a scowl and sapphire eyes (eyes just like Br-).

“Mother has requested you to be my instructor,” The kid repeats and lord, his voice is nasal. Jason chooses to stare at the kid, who fidgets. If he looks close enough, he could swear Damian’s scowl looks almost precisely like-.

“Is he mute, Mother? I do not see how an invalid could assist me,” He can tell by the way Rose’s head shoots up and glares at Damian whose side she would choose if this escalates. A flare of anger rises in Jason’s chest; his eyes start to flash a sharp emerald. Still, he pushes it down and diverts it to strengthening his stare, dominating the room.

He can’t read people the same way Cass can, but Jason could swear that the kid’s composure cracks at his uncertainty.

“Wanna repeat that for me?” Jason’s voice is low and even. He can tell the kid recognises the threat in his tone. To his credit, Damian hesitates before he honest to god tts, like every single other haughty, uptight rich boy.

“Regardless, habibi, you will treat your new instructors with respect,” Talia speaks, gesturing to him and Rose. “The quality of your instructors was incredibly subpar, and you have them to blame for killing the previous masters beforehand.”

“I do not think that a lowly thug and his harlot-,” Jason’s arm shoots out in an instant, clasping his hand over Damian’s mouth and clenching. Indignant fury flares in the boy’s eyes as Damian tries to slap Jason away. It does nothing, unsurprisingly.

“So long as you are under my tutelage, you will never speak that way to any woman. That is no way to speak to anyone, regardless of what they do for a living,” Somehow, the kid actually listens, the flinty look in his eye lessening somewhat. “I bet your own mother had to pull a fuck ton of strings just to make sure this meeting even happened in the first place.”

Jason glances up to Talia, expecting a reprimand. What surprises him is how genuine the approval she emits is. It hits him that he has literally confirmed to training Damian. He coughs.

“You should know,” Talia pipes up. “His full name is Damian Wayne-Al Ghul.”

Jason stares at the ceiling and curses the rain as it tap-dances with the universe, mocking him.

“All right, then, I’ll go to hell.”

Cassandra shakes herself from the nerves and rings the doorbell. The last time she had been here, she had kissed Alfred on the cheek and let him drive her all the way to the airport. That was only two months ago. Two months away from Gotham, away from Batgirl, away from-.

Bruce. He’s standing in the foyer, his gaze cold, but his body… his body seems unsure. She doesn’t know what to make of it. She half expects him to turn her away, but he moves to the side. He opens his mouth.

“Cassandra!” Steph darts from behind Bruce’s body, all flailing limbs and mismatched socks. “You’re here!”

“Yes.”

The girl grins, periwinkle eyes dazzling (They’re from the same cloth, just not the proper stitching) as she drags Cassandra away.

“So… how’s life in Hong Kong?”

“Peachy,” Cass answers honestly.

“Think of any names for your new identity?” Steph gesticulates to nothing, but her body language is focused on questions. So, she doesn’t give the girl any. They walk a little more until Steph decides to fill in the silence again.

“Tim’s dad found out about the vigilante business,” Cass nods as Steph talks. “Wants him to quit being Robin and Bruce doesn’t seem to know what to do about it.”

“His problem.”

“Well, duh. It’s just that��.” Steph rubs her arm shyly, the same way she always does when she’s afraid of what she will say next. “When I was growing up, with my villain dad and addict Mom, I always imagined that Batman and Robin would save me. I’m here now, and….”

“You want to be Robin.” Cassandra deadpans, even as Steph whirls to gape at her. Really, it’s not like she wasn’t obvious. “Why not go for it?”

Silence for a moment. “Because I’m afraid.”

Cassandra looks at the blonde sharply. Stephanie Brown? Intimidated-by-Batman-and-joined-vigilantism-anyway Stephanie Brown was afraid? She doesn’t know what to think. That is until the dots connect in her head.

“You’re afraid that you won’t be able to help as much as you want to,” Steph scuffs the carpet glumly.

“With Mr. Anal-retentiveness-to-the-9’s? Yeah, that’d probably happen,” Steph sound so defeated and desperate that Cass curses because apparently, fate chose now to be when Steph is truly like Jason.

“Then don’t wear it,” Steph’s scuffing gets a little stronger. “I, for one, think you’d be a really good Batgirl.”

Steph makes an incredible impression as a fish and stares at Cass, barely wheezing as she gawks. “But Bruce -.”

“Bruce doesn’t have autonomy over Batgirl,” Cass smiles sweetly, echoing Barbara. “It’s your uniform now, and no one can take that from you but yourself.”

Her friend squeals loudly and squeezes Cass, gushing her gratitude over and over. Cass hugs her back, pretending it’s Jay she’s holding in her arms, giving the assurance of family she failed to keep.

He’s only trained with Damian for a few months, yet he’s seen more than he really should from the boy. His younger brother (the kid’s only a child, it doesn’t matter what Jason’s previous misgivings are) has been raised in the League of Assassins since birth. He can already use a sword with deadly efficiency at eleven years old. His attitude's as ruthless and condescending as every other assassin in the compound.

However, what is an exploitable weakness for Damian is the fact he’s only just started puberty. Most easily demonstrated when Rose makes a suggestive pose before tackling the boy and pinning him in place. Jason whistles because he’s fond of her, an asshole like that. Rose flips the bird at Jason and sticks out her tongue, now lounging casually on Damian’s squirming body.

It’s cute, the scene, but Jason knows how wrong it is. As long as Damian is with the League of Assassins, he won’t live normally. To find his own love, his own family. Even as the child wrestles with Rose and yells at him to help, it won’t ever be enough.

He’s not projecting.

He’s not.

He’s going to concoct a plan.

Ravi, Damian’s caretaker, has that air about him that Jason has only ever seen come from Alfred. So, he guesses trusting Ravi with this is more than okay. The man may be blind, but with him, they manage to smuggle Damian through the channels of the League, avoiding everyone who could threaten their goal.

“If I may ask, Mister Todd,” Ravi says as they reach the last legs. Jason nods. “Why are you doing this? To what gain is rescuing this child for you?”

“I don’t do this because I want to gain something,” Jason replies immediately. “No child deserves to grow up in this place. He deserves to have as good a childhood as he can get.”

Ravi stares patiently, hearing what’s unsaid.

“Sound reasoning,” Talia’s voice echoes around them. Everyone tenses. The woman steps out from behind the pillar ahead of them, alone. “And where, may a mother ask, are you taking my son?”

The woman’s voice lacks her usual veneer, sounding so genuinely earnest that he can’t help but blurt out: “Gotham.”

“Gotham,” Talia repeats, her forehead pinched. “With him?” With Batman? Jason bristles. “Might I remind you; he left your death unavenged and replaced you in mere months.”

“Fuck that,” Jason snarls. Ever since he came out of the Pit, madness clings to the edges of his mind whenever he thinks of how Bruce replaced him. This time, it only flickers. “What I want doesn’t matter when Damian needs his father figure. I’m – I’m not stopping him from having that.”

“So, you no longer wish to kill him,” Talia states. He sighs.

“I guess not,” Jason frowns, considering her presence. “Want to take him to Bruce?”

If Talia is surprised, she doesn’t show it, only beckoning for Damian to follow her. As the kid moves, Jason realises this might be the last time he’ll see Damian on the same side of the fence. He grabs the kid’s shoulder, who oddly doesn’t resist.

“Look, Damian,” Jason starts as his younger brother stares up at him. “Doing right is right, and wrong is wrong. A body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.

“Living with your father, it’s rules like that he follows like gospel. He’ll love you; I know he will, but with him it’s always on the condition that you adhere to his principles. Can you promise something for me?”

Damian nods, soaking every word in.

“I need you to keep an open mind with what he says, but I don’t want you to follow them like gospel the way he does. You’re more than his soldier, you’re my brother, you’re his son.”

The kid nods again, shifting on his feet.

“And – And look after yourself, okay? And -,” The words that come out of his mouth feel like hot coals, but he has to say them. “And if somehow Cass is there, can you look after her too? For me?”

“Of course,” Damian answers softly before throwing his arms around Jason’s waist. “I will find your ukht, ahki, and make sure she is well cared for.”

Jason smiles. It's a broken, weary-looking thing.

“And Todd?” Jason raises his eyebrows. “You should confess to Wilson about your ridiculous affection. It is sickening to watch you two dancing around one another every lesson.”

Jason can’t help it; he laughs and lets his little brother go, his tears like raindrops.

Cass leaves the fresh hydrangeas on the headstone. It stares back at her, its date (four years) seeming to mock her from beyond the grave. Literally, Jay says in her head, which has her biting back the laugh that builds in her throat.

Bruce’s son had come in a few days ago, obviously an assassin child, yet he’s still… subdued, somehow. She knows the boy is there, at her brother’s grave, and that he follows her all the way to the manor. Even then, Cassandra lets it go. He probably took all his cues from Bruce anyway.

It’s when she’s sitting at the new memorial for Jason, a small statue of an apple with a plaque underneath, that Damian approaches her.

“Cain.”

“It’s Todd.”

Something crosses the boy’s face. She can’t tell what it is.

“Todd,” Damian says, his eyebrows pinching like a mini Bruce. “What is this?”

“It’s Jason’s memorial,” Cassandra traces the words on the plaque, a quote, one whose meaning she had struggled with a lifetime ago. She gestures to the book in her hands. “I read to it, every time I’m here.”

Damian looks like he’s about to say something about that, but he withholds it. Instead, he sits down with her, his head upturned, not unlike a bird.

“What was he like?” The boy asks, the words seeming to grit out his teeth.

“He was amazing, and we loved him so much,” Dick speaks up, out of nowhere, cutting Cass off before she can even begin. “I had a few issues with him, but I promise that I’ll be as good a brother to you as he was to us.”

Cassandra snorts, and Dick’s smile falls off his face.

“Cassandra, come on, I was just-.”

“You weren’t even a good brother to me or – or him.” She says quietly, because why is he even speaking now? “Why are you trying now? Why not before?”

“Like I said, I had a lot of issues with -.”

“I don’t care, Dickface.” Does it hurt to say Jason’s old nickname for the boy? Yes. Does she draw satisfaction at how much he flinches? Also, yes.

Barbara chooses then to speak up.

“I don’t think that’s fair for you to say, Cass.”

She freezes. The fact that even Damian, who hardly knows her, does the same with the others means they know how huge an error they’ve made.

“Don’t call me that,” Cassandra snaps, voice desolate and lethal, thoughts squalling and refusing to calm down even as she buries her head in the book in her hands.

Barbara sighs and calls Dick away to discuss the mysterious hacker that’s been pulling information from them. Damian, seeming to recognise her desire to be alone, follows him. Good. Cassandra’s mind falls in and out of a lull as her eyes try to refocus. So, she caresses the edge of the apple reverently. In its reflection, tears run down her cheeks. She can’t feel them.

“The information breaches just keep searching for Batgirl,” Barbara says, snapping Cassandra from her stupor. She pulls up a list; every entry confirms Barbara’s statements. Every entry, that is, except for one that catches her eye. The text flashes brightly, making her head spin, and she can’t look away because printed in the bright neon text is-.

There’s a memory, one she’s locked in the far recesses of her mind, where things like the Joker and David and all her other demons live. She remembers Faizul asking who her mother is.

David smirks, a savage thing he does whenever he’s about to order her to do something (murder, as it turned out, then) and says:

Sandra Wu-San | Lady Shiva

The words blare in her mind, bouncing round and round and blocking out all sounds in the cave. It certainly explains a lot; only Shiva can read the body like a novel. Plus, Cassandra isn’t sure that assassin skills are genetic but having two master assassins as biological parents should factor somewhere. It also opens a new avenue of thought. Why? Why did she give her up and never look back? Why did she leave her with her monster of a father? Cassandra craves needs answers, and she needs them now.

Staring up at the name printed on the screen, Jason once asked himself the same questions.

While the others discuss what to do, Cassandra has already listed Shiva’s last known locations and activities. They don’t notice she’s going to leave until she revs the engine of her bike. She sees them open their mouths, but over the sound of the motor, their voices fail to reach her.

All except, somehow, for Alfred and if there is anyone in this family Cass will listen to; it’s the one Jay loved the most.

“If you do pursue her, Miss Cassandra,” The butler has never been unkind to her, yet she can’t help but feel like he’s trying to keep her in place. “I am not sure if you will find what you are looking for.”

She leaves anyway, soaring underneath the tresses of Gotham as they settle around her, the mist obscuring everything but her path forward.

“Damian probably landed in Gotham last week,” Rose says casually. Too casually, she realises. Jace side-eyes her and snorts in response. Damn him and his ability to pick apart what she’s asking. Four years constantly in one another’s presence would do that to people with his life experience. Yet, as much as Jason can read her, she can’t say she can do the same for him.

Something about him seems fragile, like plaster covering a beautiful and distracting collage. Rose wants to dig past that plaster, through the collage and see the mind that is Jason Todd.

She has seen him at his highest and lowest points and always makes sure to stay by his side, as she does now. He’s her best friend; he might not know it, but he’s kept her sane (reassurances her father will not find her come to mind) just as much as she’s done for him.

“What do you think of the new Batgirl?” This time, she means to be conversational. When they stumbled across the profile of Cass’ successor, Jace had shaken his head and laid out half-heartedly into a punching bag.

“I don’t hate her, if that’s what you’re thinking,” That response was… not unexpected. But, when she raises her hickory eyes, Jason has his head raised to the sky. “I looked into her, and – and she’s like us.”

Oh.

“Girl’s from the Narrows. Didn’t live on the streets, but from her background, her home life definitely wasn’t that great growing up either.”

His hand is trembling, so Rose grabs it and tries to keep him steady with all the power in her.

“She’s going to do Batgirl proud,” Jason says shakily. “I think you’d agree.”

They stand there, leaning on each other, tranquillity settling around them as Jace lets his tears flow. It occurs to Rose that she never let his hand go. She doesn’t plan to. The feeling makes her feel warm inside, and as much as she wants to go further, she also doesn’t want to push her best friend away.

In the distance, the outline of a jet approaches the runway they’re on. It is time.

“You ready?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I said yes.”

“Fair enough.”

“Hey,” Rose looks up at him, waiting for him to continue. “If anything goes wrong, I want you to stay out of sight of the others and get away from Gotham.”

Rose growls. “No way, there is no fucking way I’d leave you alone with them.” She steps closer, jabbing her finger on his chest. “I didn’t train with you for the past four years for it all to be thrown away just because Batman is an asshole. My dad’s just as bad, remember?

“You’re stuck with me no matter what Jace. Deal with it.”

He gives her a wry smirk that has her heart fluttering as much as her returning grin is sharp. Even as the plane touches down, she realises that he hasn't let her hand go, and neither has she.

In the next week, Red Hood and Ravager will carve their way through the deeper bowels of Gotham’s stomach, a bag of heads linking their iron fists.

For now, Rose breathes in the moist air as a drizzle begins.

Mad Dog, Cassandra muses, is a morbid reminder of what she might have become if she stayed with David. He doesn’t have her abilities, but he has more physical strength in spades; his movements are so strange, so unpredictable, that it’s not like it matters.

A deft swipe narrowly misses her throat, and Cassandra cuffs the man in the jaw with her knee, knocking him back.

She had definitely found Shiva. Tracked her all the way to some subset of the League of Assassins. The woman had only gazed coolly at her and set Mad Dog on her.

True to his name, the assassin growls and leaps at her, fury behind each of his strikes. Cassandra dodges one of these, the fist cratering the cement wall, and gets socked in the chest for her trouble. The force of the impact sends her flying metres away.

Getting up from the blow is a chore, and she can feel the agony her body is in, feels the blood run down her mouth as she rises. Her fist is shaking; her stance is uneven. Mad Dog notices, and he grins like David, drawing a jagged sword from his sheath and charges.

Cassandra darts past the assassin. She knows she can win this. Even though his movements are swift and deadly, she manages to outpace him. His sword strikes aim to draw blood as he swipes at her, but she’s still managed to weave her way around them, causing sparks to fly into the air. When he tries to hit her, she still uses his momentum against him and knocks him down.

Yet, Cassandra can feel herself getting slower now; her arms are still shaking. She dodges another strike, but it’s a feint, and Mad Dog grabs her by the hair and slams her onto the ground. Hazily, she watches his wicked grin widen as the assassin raises his arms and prepares his blade.

As Mad Dog is about to drive it into Cass’ chest, she thinks (This is it. It’s all over. It is time.) of a boy in an alleyway, an apple in his hand and a smile on his lips.

She closes her eyes and listens to the sprinkling outside.

“Do you think we were unfair to them?” Dick seems to ask to open air, but Bruce knows when his sons want a genuine response. “Like, that we didn’t give them enough credit for what they could do. And because of that, they’ve never had anyone but each other?”

Dick slumps. It looks so wrong on him that Bruce wraps his arms around him, especially careful (As a real father would. An insidious voice in his brain sneers). “Do you think, that if maybe we treated them so much better...” His boy is crying now, usually joyous lapis eyes cold and red-rimmed. “That they’d still be here?”

Bruce only grunts because not one of his answers is what Dick wants to hear.

On a slab of stone, the petals on the hydrangeas wilt, droplets dappling their edges.

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latter-day-saint-nick · 4 years

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I heard that the BBC Dracula adaptation written by Stephen Moffat was really bad, and it made me curious to see just how bad it was, so I decided to watch it for myself. It was not one of my smarter decisions.

But in order that my suffering won’t have been completely in vain, I’ll recap it here for those who are curious as well, to spare you the pain of actually having to watch it. You’re welcome!

Let me describe the viewing experience as best I can.

I have a BBC iPlayer account, so I could watch the show legally. My wife tells me to pirate it instead to avoid giving Moffat the views. She is right. I click on the first episode.

Episode 1

We start with a framing device of a severely ill Jonathan Harker in a Hungarian monastery, telling his story to two nuns. I do not hate this framing device. The original novel was told through diary entries, newspaper articles and letters, so having different characters tell the story of what happened to them to others is a neat way to adapt this type of literary device. The dialogue quickly takes a turn for the ridiculous, though, when one of the nuns, Sister Agatha, asks Jonathan in a silly accent if he had sexual intercourse with Count Dracula. Because queerbaiting? Is vampirism an STD now?

Still, the show tricks us into thinking that it’s going to be a fairly straightforward adaptation of the story as Jonathan recounts how he arrived at the castle, met the Count and became his prisoner. Later, this will turn out to be a sweet, sweet lie, but I don’t know that yet. At first, Dracula looks about a hundred years old and has a bad Romanian accent, but the more he feeds on Jonathan, the younger he gets, and the more refined and posh his British accent. Because this Dracula does not just absorb his victims’ lifeforce but also their knowledge. I find that stupid.

Dracula says the famous “I do not drink... wine” line. Badly. Still, the reference is mildly cute the first time. He repeats the line several times throughout the show, and it gets progressively less funny each time.

Jonathan reads a letter from his fiancee, Mina. In it, she jokes about how she’s going to sleep with all the cute men in the neighbourhood while he’s gone, as well as the adorable bar maiden, if she needs some variety. I sigh as I realize that this is probably what Moffat considers good queer representation.

At one point Jonathan talks about falling asleep, and Sister Agatha proceeds to ask him if he had dirty dreams about his fiancee. She persists with the question, even after Jonathan tells her that that’s private. It doesn’t seem like a pertinent question, but I guess Sister Agatha is just a pervert. Or maybe Moffat is.

Jonathan finishes his story about how he escaped from the castle. He bemoans that he can’t go home to England, because he is such a changed man and he can’t even remember his fiancee’s face. Sister Agatha reveals that the other nun with her is actually Mina. What a tweest! Apparently even before Jonathan told his story, Sister Agatha managed to figure out that he is English, tracked him down, found his fiancee and had her brought over to Budapest. The show is clearly hoping that the unexpectedness of this twist is going to distract us from the fact that it makes no damn sense at all.

It also turns out that Jonathan has become a vampire, and the sight of blood nearly makes him attack Mina. Of course, being one of the main heroes, he was never turned in the novel, not that that matters.

At this point Dracula shows up at the gates of the monastery in the form of a wolf. And I don’t mean that he shapeshifts like an Animorph. He is literally inside the wolf’s body, and he claws his way out of it, emerging at the gates naked and covered in wolf blood. I really don’t know why.

He and Sister Agatha proceed to have a sass-off. My wife makes fun of the dialogue by saying that it’s basically this:

“I’m a badass sister!” “Yeah, but I’m Dracula!” “Yeah, but I’m a badass sister!” “Yeah, but I’m Dracula!” “Yeah, but I’m a badass sister!” “Yeah, but I’m Dracula!” “Yeah, but I’m a badass sister!” “Yeah, but I’m Dracula!”

By the time my wife has finished the joke, the banter is still going on. It feels like it’s never going to end.

The Mother Superior tells the nuns to arm themselves. My wife starts wondering if we’re actually watching a Mel Brooks movie. Also, Sister Agatha is revealed to be Van Helsing. This is not as meaningful as the show seems to think it is, as she and Dracula haven’t had any past encounters. So it’s really just, “Oh, she’s actually a gender-swapped character from the book. That’s cool, I guess.

Finally, Dracula slinks off because he can’t get inside the monastery without being invited. He manages to find Jonathan, now fully a vampire, at a window and gets him to invite him in. You’d think this would be the end of the stupidity, but clearly I haven’t suffered enough yet.

Jonathan finds Mina and Sister Agatha. Sister Agatha tries to fend him off, since he’s, you know, a vampire and tried to feed off of Mina earlier. Mina, however, believes that the power of love can save him, so she approaches him. I point out that in the book, Mina was characterized as being very intelligent, not that that matters. As it turns out, it wasn’t Jonathan at all, but Dracula, wearing Jonathan’s skin, which he rips off, like something out of Hellraiser. He never uses this power again in the rest of the series.

The episode ends with him attacking the two women. Against my better judgement, I decide to watch the next episode, because while this was bad, it was bad in a fascinating way. Almost like something Tommy Wiseau would make. Okay, maybe not. Tommy Wiseau as Dracula would have been a lot more entertaining.

I click on the next episode.

Episode 2

We start with another framing device. This time Dracula is telling the story of his voyage to London to Sister Agatha while they’re playing chess. See, it’s symbolic, because they’re having a game of wits where they’re trying to outsmart each other! Okay, to be honest, I have no idea what Sister Agatha is trying to do. I guess Moffat is too clever for me.

Sister Agatha asks Dracula how he got to England. He tells her that he went on a ship. Inexplicably, this is not the end of that, but he proceeds to tell her about everything that happened on the ship, including conversations between characters that he wasn’t there for. Maybe he was listening at their doors.

I sense impending doom when I realize that this boat journey is going to take up the entire episode. In the book, it only took up a few pages, not that that matters.

Rather than staying in his coffin in the hold during the day, as he does in the book (not that that matters), Dracula mingles with the passengers. When Sister Agatha expresses surprises at that, he comments on how stupid it would be to stay in his coffin in the hold. You know, more adaptations should have lines about how stupid the source material is. It makes you look so smart.

How does Dracula avoid the sunlight during the day, though? Never fear, he simply spits out a pall of fog that surrounds the ship at all times and blocks out the sunlight, because I guess that’s a power he has. Like his wearing of other creatures’ skin, it’s not one he ever uses again, though. He tells Sister Agatha, “Everywhere you go, always take the weather with you.” Because referencing songs from a hundred years in the future is apparently also a power that he has.

We are introduced to the other passengers, who are a surprisingly diverse bunch. I can’t get too excited about this, however, as I know that they are all going to die. One of the passengers is an Indian doctor who has encountered the undead in the past. That would probably make for a more interesting story than this one, but then again, I don’t really want Moffat to tell it, so I don’t know why I’m complaining.

Dracula starts killing off crew and passengers one by one. I keep expecting the show to cut back to the chess game, with him telling Sister Agatha, “To make a long story short, I killed them all.”

The passengers begin to fear a killer on board, but never seem to suspect Dracula, who plays them against each other. They also discover that they’re all travelling to England at the behest of the same mysterious benefactor, who of course is Dracula, using a pseudonym. Because he hand-picked all of them for the special qualities he would gain from drinking their blood or something. It is way more convoluted than it needs to be. Is Moffat capable of writing a protagonist who is not an arrogant white man too clever for everyone around him? We may never know...

Throughout the episode there’s references to an unseen invalid staying in cabin 9. It turns out to be Sister Agatha, whom Dracula has been steadily draining. The chess game is just a hallucination that he induces in her while he drinks her blood. What a tweest!

Just like in the previous episode, the framing device is dropped about two-thirds through and we are now seeing the story in present tense. Dracula frames Sister Agatha as being the mystery killer, but she manages to reveal that he is a vampire just as she is about to get hanged by the crew. They manage to fend him off, but not before a few more characters die by being incredibly stupid.

One of the characters is a young English lord who just got married to a rich heiress, but is secretly having an affair with an African man pretending to be his servant. I can never remember his name, so I call him Gaylord (I’m allowed to make jokes like this). Gaylord is Dracula’s new business partner and he betrays the rest of the humans, because he thinks Dracula is his BFF and values his skills as a businessman. As it turns out, Dracula only chose Gaylord because of his wife’s wealth. Now that he has killed her, her money goes to Gaylord, and by draining Gaylord, it goes to Dracula. I was unaware that being someone’s business partner entitles you to inherit all their money after their death, so I assume that Dracula acquires people’s money by drinking their blood, just like he acquires their skills and attributes.

Sister Agatha assumes command over the ship, using her divine nun powers, I guess, and she prepares for Dracula to return and finish off the rest of the humans. I get bored and finish a chapter in a book I was reading earlier.

Eventually Sister Agatha blows up the ship to prevent Dracula from ever reaching England, which they keep referring to as “the New World”. That’s not what that term means, but who cares at this point? Dracula, encased in one of his boxes, sinks to the bottom of the ocean, only to break out and walk the rest of the way to England along the ocean floor. There he is greeted by cars and helicopters and someone who looks like Sister Agatha, but wearing modern clothes. What a tweest! Did it take him a hundred years to break out of his casket, or is this like The Village, where we were in modern times all along? The episode ends here, so I guess I’ll have to watch the next one to find out.

I am curious to see this stupidity unfold, but not sure I can take any more right now. But my wife applies some peer pressure, and I put on the final episode. Pray for me!

Episode 3

The previous two episodes were pretty bad, yes, but mostly in a way I can handle and even laugh at. They have not at all prepared me for what I am about to witness.

This episode doesn’t have a framing device, which makes me wonder why we bothered with those in the other two.

The Sister Agatha clone turns out to be her great-grandniece, Zoe. So it’s like Back to the Future where people keep having relatives who look exactly like them. Except Back to the Future is a comedy, and this is meant to be taken seriously.

Dracula escapes from the Anti-Dracula Brigade on the beach and breaks into some poor woman’s home after killing her husband and stuffing him in the fridge. I’m not sure if this is meant to be funny or scary. It ends up being neither. Dracula kills the woman as well, after lecturing her for taking all her modern-day luxuries for granted. Social commentary, I guess?

We are introduced to Seward, a young medical student who makes up for his lack of personality with a creepy obsession with his friend, a vapid, selfish party girl. Yes, this is Lucy Westenra. I found her a likable character in the novel. Not that that matters. I call this Lucy a slut, only for Lucy to make a comment on slut-shaming, which makes me feel bad. The irony is that I’m pretty sure we’re meant to see Lucy as slutty and shallow.

We’re also introduced to Quincey. He’s a douchebag. In the novel he was kind, brave and heroic. Not that that... whatever.

Seward is contacted by the Anti-Dracula Brigade, which is actually called the Jonathan Harker Foundation, but I prefer Anti-Dracula Brigade. It was formed by Sister Agatha’s relatives and Mina Murray with the goal to find Dracula and then to keep him alive to study him. I honestly would have thought that Mina would want Dracula dead, after he terrorized her and murdered her fiance, rather than sticking him in a cage for science, but it’s not like character motivations have to make sense. After all, this is Moffat, bitch!

Van Helsing explains to her students that Dracula was in suspended animation for over a hundred years at the bottom of the ocean until she accidentally woke him by sticking her fingers in his mouth, which allowed him to draw blood and be renewed. She doesn’t explain why her Anti-Dracula Brigade consists of medical students, rather than experts in their fields. She also doesn’t explain why he didn’t grow old again, like he was at the start of episode 1, after not having had anything to eat for over 120 years.

Dracula has been caught and is contained in a cell at the Brigade’s headquarters. I honestly don’t remember how that happened. Did they forget to show us that or did I just black out? Both seem like likely options. The cell contains what I assume is a Kindle, to keep Dracula occupied. Van Helsing comes to talk to him, and he scoffs at the idea of a woman being in charge. She tells him that he slept through the women’s rights movement. I am paralyzed with fear that Moffat is going to attempt to explain women’s rights to me. Why would God test me like this? My relief knows no bounds when the characters change the subject immediately. God is good after all.

This reprieve doesn’t last long. My faith is once again tested when I am forced to witness one of the most idiotic scenes I have ever had the misfortune to watch on screen. It begins when Renfield is brought in. I know that a Dracula adaptation turning silly when Renfield is introduced is not unusual, but Moffat always strives to exceed expectations of ridiculousness. In this version Renfield is Dracula’s lawyer, working for the same firm that he hired 120 years ago when Jonathan was their representative. They have been Skyping, using what I thought was a Kindle, but turns out to be a proper tablet. It wasn’t supposed to be connected to the internet, but all Dracula had to do was guess the WiFi password. Which was his own name.

I cannot deal with this. This scene has broken me. I am a broken man. I cry out in anguish and despair, for what else can I do? My wife, who has gone to the kitchen to get herself a drink, comes to see if I am okay. I am not. I may never be okay again. Moffat has marred my soul forever.

Renfield argues that the Anti-Dracula Brigade is keeping Dracula against his will and that he hasn’t actually done anything illegal, so they are forced to set him free. On the way out, Dracula finds Seward’s phone and uses it to meet up with Lucy. There’s also something about Van Helsing having cancer and drinking some of Dracula’s blood in the hopes that it will cure her. I don’t really care about this, but it’s important to the plot.

There’s a time-skip of a few months. Lucy is engaged to Quincey, but still sneaks off regularly for dates with Dracula where she lets him feed off her. I suspect that this is Moffat’s attempt at making the character more feminist. You see, instead of just passively being attacked by Dracula in her sleep at night, she actively goes out to find him and chooses to be drained by him! This does not make her a better character. Really, it just makes her seem stupid as well as callous, since she doesn’t give a damn about any of Dracula’s other victims who don’t give him consent to drink their blood.

There is a very annoying reference to the novel when a vampire child calls Lucy “Bloofer Lady”. Like the wine line, it sounds more stupid every time the show repeats it. Also, the vampire kid shows up in one more scene before Dracula kills him. Glad he served a point.

Dracula finally drains Lucy. Her family holds a funeral, thinking that she’s dead. But as she’s been infected with vampirism, she is fully conscious while she is being cremated. So we get to watch her burn alive, screaming in pain all the while. Hey, did I mention that Lucy is played by a black actress? Remember in season 10 of Doctor Who when something terrible would happen to Bill Potts every other episode, like having a hole shot through her chest or being turned into a Cyberman? Now, I’m not saying that Moffat enjoys having horrifying things happen to his black female characters... but I’m not not saying it either.

Lucy escapes from her coffin and takes revenge on the crematorium workers. During this scene we only see her reflection, in which she looks normal, which makes it painfully obvious that this is only how she sees herself, and in reality she’s going to be revealed to be horribly burned. The show plays coy with this for an annoyingly long time.

Van Helsing, still dying of cancer, breaks out of the hospital with help from Seward and they go visit Dracula in his flat. Yes, Dracula has a flat. It’s not hidden or anything. It’s even listed in the phone book. Look, it’s almost over, so who cares?

Lucy shows up as well and after more pointless build-up, we finally get to see her real appearance, which, surprise, surprise, is horribly burned. She is oblivious to this, because vampires’ reflections are weird in a way that is never really explained. Dracula sees himself in the mirror as old and decaying, whereas Lucy sees herself as being still pretty. I don’t know what it means, apart from that Moffat doesn’t understand vampire mythology and feels that it needs to be made more interesting.

Seward encourages Lucy to take a selfie, which reveals her true face. Why the rules for cameras are different from the rules for mirrors is not explained either. Lucy breaks down crying because being ugly is a fate worse than death. Seward tells her that he still wants to kiss her, because I guess this was meant to be the message? Something about true love? She begs him for death. They kiss and he mercy-kills her. In the book the people who loved Lucy had to kill her to save her immortal soul and to protect the world from the monster she had become, which has a bit more emotional resonance than saving her from having to be ugly for eternity. But, you know. NOT THAT THAT MATTERS.

Van Helsing sends Seward away for her final confrontation with Dracula, because she has him figured out. Having the memories of her great-aunt Agatha within her, which she gained from drinking Dracula’s blood, which he gained from drinking Agatha’s blood, she exposits that Dracula isn’t actually harmed by sunlight or crosses. He just fears death more than anything and so he doesn’t like the sight of the cross which represents someone being willing to die. Okay, but that doesn’t explain his aversion to sunlight! What does that have to do with death? She also spouts off some nonsense about how his fear of death originated from being the weakest in a family of noblemen and soldiers. Um, Moffat? You do realize that Dracula is based on Vlad the Impaler, right? Someone who was known for, well, impaling his enemies? But, again, it’s almost over, so let’s just get on with it!

Van Helsing tells Dracula that because she is dying of cancer, she is accomplishing the one thing he is afraid of doing, which somehow convinces him to kill himself by drinking her cancerous blood, which is poison to him. To make this experience painless for her, he creates an illusion for her where they’re, um, tenderly making love? What the hell? Is that what all their previous scenes were leading up to? Okay, if you say so.

Wait, is that the real reason why Moffat made Van Helsing a woman? Screw you, Moffat! Screw you so much!

Credits roll. This ends one of the worst television viewing experiences I’ve ever had. I go on YouTube to rewatch Sherlock Is Garbage, and Here’s Why. It is deeply cathartic.

#bbc dracula #flipping moffat

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foxybananaaaz · 4 years

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I’m going to make a post, and it’s going to be one of those “Defending Nesta Archeron” posts. But I’m going to go about it in a way that will hopefully help the anti’s understand a bit more why the “Nesta Stans” feel she deserves better. But I’m not going to coddle her, and lift her on a pedestal either.

Also, this is going to be a REALLY LONG POST. Also also, I am NOT a Nesta Anti. Nesta is my favourite character and why will be explained at the end of this long post.

I’m going to start off by saying that, the anti’s are correct in stating that Nesta is not a “good” character in the fact thats she is a bitch. She isn’t nice, she has a lot to make up for and make right. But I feel like the arguments the anti’s use, they don’t try to understand why Nesta is the way she is.

I want to start in the first thing Nesta does in the series that gets hate. Letting Feyre, her younger sister, solely provide for the family. As well as having such anger at Feyre despite Feyre keeping her family alive.

This is the first reason of many, that would make the ACOTAR books so much better if it were not in first person, because we never fully get Nestas thought process and reasoning.

There is such a small amount to go off, to try and understand Nestas thought process. Feyre even flat out asked Nesta why, and Nesta was fully prepared to answer, before getting interrupted by (I think) the two ravens Hybern sent to capture Nesta.

But what we DID get was that Nesta was waiting for their father to step up and provide for his children, keep his children alive, and waiting for him so long, that by the time Feyre finally took action, Nesta had so much hate for their father for not doing anything that she also resented Feyre for stepping in, and letting their father get off with doing nothing.

This isn’t a good enough reason to be a bitch to Feyre, and I understand that. But we don’t even know the whole story from Nestas side, because again, just as she was about to explain and answer Feyre, they got interrupted.

But even then, after a point, if, or when Nesta did come to, and realize that Feyre should NOT be the one to provide for the family, and put her foot down and stop Feyre, it would ultimately be worse for the Archeron family, because by then, Nesta has no survival skills, hunting skills, or any skills to provide for the family, so it would be more beneficial to let Feyre keep going out to provide and keep the family alive, which could be another reason Nesta comes off so bitchy at the start. Because she would know that there’s nothing she could do, and she needs to rely on letting her youngest sister go out. People also use this as a reason to hate Nesta, yet I don’t see people holding Elain with the same weight of this crime, as she ALSO let her younger sister go out to provide for the family. But this post isn’t about Elain. People also seem to gloss over the fact that Feyre herself starts the process of forgiving Nesta when Tamlin sends her back home in A Court of Thorns and Roses, and Nesta and Feyre end up talking.

Moving on to Nestas “sins” in A Court of Mist and Fury. This is another instance that shows that these books are lacking because of the first person limitations. Because being stuck in Feyre’s head, we know how crucial it is at this point that Feyre and the Inner Circle have that place in the Human Lands to meet with the Human Queens. We know what’s at stake. Nesta, does not.

And Nesta has every right to be cautious and wary of letting Feyre and the Inner Circle use her estate, because she grew up hearing the legends(albeit false) of the fae, and grew up hating the fae. Hell, even FEYRE grew up the same way, and we see this in just how long it takes for her to truly and fully open up and warm up to Tamlin and Lucien and the other fae in the Spring Court in the first book. Nesta, at that point, had every right to be hesitant.

Once this bump is passed over, Nesta even has her guests question her, and not kindly. Cassian at this point only knows what was told to him by Feyre and Rhys, and not the whole story, and jumps on Nesta the first chance presented for allowing Feyre to provide for the family.

Even with Wings and Embers, when, for the first time, we get to look through eyes that are not Feyre’s we see that it is Cassian instigating any tention between the two. While I love Wings and Embers, and the chemistry between Cassian and Nesta, you can’t say that Nesta starts any of their arguments. Though I may be wrong, but Nesta only ever responds to Cassian intently instigating her. She never comes to play nicely or fairly. But she only ever gives as good as she gets.

And Nestas hesitance, wariness, and caution against fae is proved, at the end of Mist and Fury, when her and Elain are kidnapped in the middle of the night, and forced into the cauldron, as a move against Feyre.

Moving on now to A Court of Wings and Ruin, you can’t deny that Nesta starts a redemption, albeit a small one, but it’s there. Just as the growth of forgiveness in Feyre’s heart.

You can’t deny it, especially when Nesta steps up, and actively helps, when she honestly has every reason to say no, and be done with it, and go on with her new Fae life. No one would have grounds to blame Nesta if she refused to help. But she didn’t. She agreed to train with Amren in figuring out her powers so she can find the hole in the wall, and close it. She agreed to go to the Court of Nightmares with Amren for this same reason. She came around and agreed to go to the meeting of the High Lords, and tell her story, after initially saying No. After the wall came down, she agreed to go with the Inner Circle to play her part in nullifying the cauldron. It was HER idea to lead the King of Hybern away from the cauldron so Feyre and Amren could do their thing with the cauldron. She is the one to cover Cassians body with her own against Hybern, despite Cassian telling her to run, she stays there, believing she will die. And when Elain stabs Hybern in the throat, Nesta is the one who ultimately finishes him off, cutting his head off all together.

You can not say that Nesta did not start her redemption in Wings and Ruin, because despite everything that’s happened, and having every viable reason to say no, and live her life, she does choose to help. Which is why reading about Nesta in Frost and Starlight is so heartbreaking and infuriating.

A Court of Frost and Starlight, I believe is the very book that so many people build their hate for Nesta on. She’s a bitch. She’s cold hearted. She’s distanced herself. She uses Rhys and Feyre’s money to feed her alcohol addiction. She has taken everything she’s built up towards in Wings and Ruin, and knocked it down.

To you I say, the reason is trauma. We learn in Wings and Embers that Nesta was sexually assaulted by Thomas. In Wings and Ruin, we learn that, because of the end of Mist and Fury, Nesta can’t take a normal bath because she’s brought back to the events of the Cauldron, and now in Frost and Starlight, we learn that Nesta can’t have a fire. She lives in the freezing cold in winter, because she can’t light a fire, because all she hears in the fire is her fathers neck being snapped right in front of her. This is not even mentioning the trauma of losing her mother at a young age, or having her father become a cripple and refuse to provide for his children. Nesta has so much trauma.

Nesta does not heal in the same way her sisters do. Nesta is pushing everyone away, because realistically, there’s no one who would stand by her side before anyone else’s. And why should Nesta keep the Inner Circle close when she is clearly the black sheep?

The only one to show Nesta any kind of respect is Amren, and that’s pushing it. And as much as I want to say Cassian does as well, I truly can’t, given that most, if not all, of their arguments were instigated by him. And to have him flat out tell her “Your sisters love you, but I don’t know why” or whatever the quote is, when all Nesta was doing was telling Cassian to go home, that she did not want his gift. This would also further show reason in her distancing herself.

Rhys makes no effort in hiding the fact that he doesn’t really like Nesta for letting Feyre be the one to provide for her family. Mor starts acting like a straight up bitch to Nesta in Wings and Ruin when Nesta actively starts showing concern and worry for Cassian. And you can say that it is because Mor is protective of Cassian and doesn’t want him hurt, but Mor goes out of her way to let her negative feelings towards Nesta known, even when Cassian isn’t around. Azriel and Feyre actually will use Nesta(and Cassian I guess) as the butt of the joke, when Azriel swoops in to “save” Feyre(for flight training) from Cassian and Nesta tension. Even Elain isn’t there to be a support for Nesta during Wings and Ruin, but I won’t blame her for it, because she’s also going through her own issues.

The reason I brought that all up, is to bring light to the fact that Nesta probably feels like she will be invalidated in her trauma with the Inner Circle. Nesta probably feels like they will not care, and thus pushes herself away, before that pain is added on. Nesta probably feels as if she truly has no one to turn to with her own traumas.

Nesta has trauma, and she’s dealing with it in her own ways. Are her ways the right ways to deal with trauma? Hell no. Not even close. And she probably knows this. She probably sees two paths of dealing before her. The right path, and the wrong path.

Here’s the thing though. Here’s the sad reality. So many people in our own world have so many traumas, and take that wrong path. So many people who have traumas, see the two paths before them, knowing which ones right and wrong, yet CHOOSE to take the wrong path to deal with their traumas because it’s easier. It’s not right. It’s easier. So many people, take their traumas and ALLOW it to shape them for the worse. Nesta Archeron, is one of those people.

The way Wings and Ruin ended left hope for Nesta to have a “happy” healing process. And I use the word “happy” extremely loosely there. Because Healing is not happy. It’s just made easier when you allow yourself to be surrounded by love and support. But SJM clearly didn’t choose that path for Nesta. The sneak peak at A Court of Silver Flames at the END of Frost and Starlight shows that SJM has a different healing path planned for Nesta and has from the beginning of Frost and Starlight I believe.

Nesta is my favourite character because the way she’s written, especially in Frost and Starlight, makes her one of the most realistic and human characters in the entire series, and the way she handles her trauma, proves that. I am excited to see her healing journey in A Court of Silver Flames.

Nesta is a bitch. She pushed everyone away. She let her trauma shape her for the worse. She has a whole lot to make up for, apologize for, and be held accountable to. But she needs to be given the chance to do so, before people write her off as an unforgivable character.

At the beginning of this post, I said it would be a long one, and it truly is. But despite everything I’ve said in this post, this next paragraph is where I will end this post. It is also the most important paragraph of the entire post, without question, so read it and understand it.

Trauma does NOT and should NEVER be an EXCUSE for shitty behaviour. There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to allow it to excuse shitty behaviour. That being said, it can, and often does EXPLAIN why said shitty behaviour is shitty. Excuse and Explain are two completely different words with very different meanings. So do not let the explanation of shitty behaviour EXCUSE said shitty behaviour.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading.

#nesta archeron #nesta acotar #a court of silver flames #acotar #cassian #nessian #nessian book #acosf

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endearingsalt · 4 years

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I’m rewatching Journey to Babel and I have a *lot* of feelings

and i also have pumpkin liqueur with ice cream and you should too

i have BIG feelings about the very first shot of sarek being one where spock and bones are in the foreground as spock tries to teach bones the ta’al and the two are doing their banter as normal. like sarek boards the enterprise probably knowing spock would be there, and there’s huge fanfare, all eyes on him, except for one person, and that person is his son, who’s too busy talking to his friend to fuckn bother looking up for him

what kind of an asshole do you have to be to not return the ta’al, at all, ever, much less to your own child, like i don’t even fuckn care that they’ve been estranged for 18 years, what the fuck @ Sarek

and jim and bones agree with me. they have that quick exchange as the tension grows and sarek looks away, and i’m RIGHT there with them because they KNOW what a big deal this shit is and right out of the gate for seemingly no reason this guy’s just gonna insult spock like that

we see bones think about trying the ta’al for all of one second and then my boi puts his hand back down and i’m like good, he doesn’t deserve your well-wishes

and when amanda comes up?? when sarek presents her to jim??? she brushes past spock without so much as a glance. i hate them both so much

now. we all love to laugh about jim asking if spock wants to beam down to visit his parents and then having to get told that “.....these.....ARE my parents....” but i’d also like to point out that jim’s original plan was to have spock show sarek and amanda around, likely because of a mix of being the first officer + being a vulcan. when sarek asks for someone else, jim and bones make eye contact again, and this one is more steely than the last. they were surprised and annoyed at the unreturned ta’al, but they’re both straight-up pissed now, and they don’t even know the tea yet. i would like to suggest jim goes out of his way to point out that spock is both well-regarded and a fellow vulcan, all while also trying to give him an out for a few hours, since none of them are happy about being around this many politicians anyway, and there’s clearly something Up with these two specifically. idk i really like that the timing and tone indicates jim specifically chose to offer that to spock because of what had just happened. of course it really blows up in his face, but, well, how could he have known considering none of these people chose to fuckn tell him

on that note, damn, we all talk about this one, but what the hell was spock’s plan huh? did he think jim knew, somehow? did he think he’d have a chance to explain later on? did he think he could get away with no one ever finding out? was his sole purpose truly just to sow chaos? did he try to find some way to explain all this beforehand and just kept falling short until the deadline was upon him and he just went in blind hoping for the best? not very logical in any case but wow is it a mood

the first. and i mean THE FIRST FUCKING THING amanda says to spock is “after all these years among humans, you still haven’t learned to smile” okay lemme just break down all the ways i’m in a damn rage over this

FIRST OF ALL, when they + jim arrive in engineering where spock is, he doesn’t seem to have been aware they were coming, and his back was to the door at the time, which means they effectively snuck up on him. he gets up, turns around, and settles into parade rest, as he do. he doesn’t acknowledge them beyond that, and jim continues the tour past him, graciously attempting to end the brief and unexpected encounter smoothly. need i remind us all that both sarek and amanda actively chose to not acknowledge spock before this; indeed, sarek actively insulted him twice, and amanda settled on simply acting like she’d never seen him before in her life. they set the tone here. his reaction in this scene is simply falling in step with what they had set, and is actually on the polite end of that.

amanda breaks this no-contact with an immediate insult both to spock as an individual and to his vulcan side, which she knows spock highly values. furthermore, her exact words are something many of us have repeatedly heard. they are invalidating words that seek to shame a person for not presenting what they have deemed the correct emotion at the correct time. they’re invalidating enough when used on a person who is actively happy and just doesn’t show it in the way some are used to seeing it, but that isn’t what’s happening here. no, here amanda knows exactly what she and sarek have done to alienate spock just in the last 5 minutes, let alone the last 18 years. she knows precisely why he would be on edge here, and seek to avoid another encounter. she’s fully aware of his discomfort, and chooses to make her first words to him scolding ones.

his response is measured, and scans as normal, but there’s tension in his tone, as there rightfully should be under the circumstances. and yet her next words are scolding him for not visiting her, despite the fact that he and sarek are estranged and she knows that, despite the fact that she’s given him not a single fuckn reason to do so in both scenes she’s been in so far.

can we talk about “my wife, attend” and “mr spock, a moment if you please” and the fact that the parallel is completely obvious and jim is really clearly doing it so that spock can show off after it became clear that just walking past wasn’t gonna be an option (thanks, amanda). that ALSO immediately blows up in his face, but dammit, he’s trying. i feel for jim here honestly. he keeps trying to help spock out and at every turn he accidentally does the worst possible thing. anyways spock takes off, thankfully, and i sure hope the man gets to go have a solid meditation time before the dinner later, because Lord knows he’ll need it

so then sarek, that little sniveling bitch, bows out on the rest of the tour. because “offense is a human emotion,” but pettiness is SURE vulcan. the humans are now alone. important to note that jim did not hear what amanda and spock just said to each other. all he saw was that the second amanda had an opportunity to speak to spock without sarek hearing them, she took it. he therefore likely thinks (correctly, to a degree) that he and amanda are on better terms. he’s also more comfortable with her because she’s human. so the first thing he says, after finally letting himself actually show some of the massive discomfort he’s been feeling this whole time, is “i don’t understand him,” meaning sarek. he’s hoping to gauge amanda and get some insight on what the HELL is wrong with sarek. and he and amanda hit it off! amanda is charming! they’re cute together! meet the mother-in-law is going well, and based off the way amanda says “he is a vulcan; i’m his wife,” it seems pretty clear that amanda is woke to The Premise from the get-go. meet the son-in-law is going well. jim then tackles the big question. the father/son estrangement.

“spock is my best officer. and my friend” says jim immediately, because amanda’s response indicates the sarek isn’t wrong for the way he just treated spock, and wow is jim not gonna stand for that for a second. we love to see it.

amanda is wearing this “concerned mother” expression as she talks about how it’s “hard” for spock to be split between humans and vulcans, as if she ever actually understood any of that when she so clearly doesn’t.

let me. let me get this straight. let me just. let me really just. get this hammered in here. “it’s logical,” says amanda, for sarek and spock to have not spoken as father and son for 18 years, because spock chose starfleet, and sarek had wanted him to carry on the family tradition at the VSA. sarek is so fucking upset that spock chose a different career than the one he wanted him to have that he cut contact for nearly 20 years, and, amanda says, “it’s logical.” “it’s the vulcan way.” “it’s a better way than ours, but it isn’t easy.” what about this is the vulcan way? what the fuck? what the FUCK.

anyways. stubbornness. a human trait. that grin. yeah, these two are tight now, as shitty as amanda may be.

this post is about spock’s family life so i won’t rant about the colored marshmallow wine.

jim: *kicks back a shot as he has to listen to sarek speak words*. what a mood

bones: now’s my time to shine. my time to learn all the dirt on spock.

spock: no, please, no

amanda: now is my time to shine. my time to sow chaos

this is it. this is why spock tried to not let bones know who sarek and amanda were. this was it all along

“you embarrassed spock this evening” says sarek, to amanda, when they are alone. “not even a mother may do that. he is a vulcan.” i’m gonna cut a bitch, i swear, this guy, this guy thinks telling your son’s friends about a childhood pet is worse than not returning the ta’al, what the fuck. don’t act so fucking high and mighty sarek. don’t even start with me.

TO AMANDA’S CREDIT, she needles sarek about how he actually is proud of spock and just doesn’t want to admit he’s been wrong for the last 18 years.

their marriage is cute i’ll give them that

“threats are illogical and payment is usually expensive” IS a baller line, even though it comes from sarek. see this is the thing, sarek and amanda both have redeeming qualities. i can’t quite manage to hate either of them completely. which is what makes this episode so good.

mm. i really like how bones just like, really tries to avoid outing sarek as a suspect, and just looks to spock instead. we love to see it.

“sorry, it couldn’t have been me, i was busy having a heart attack”

“sorry, can’t argue, am having a heart attack now”

the vulcan way is to time heart attacks to the most dramatic times possible

spock: jim, please, please stop trying to make me feel feelings about my father. i am NOT prepared for that shit right now, for the love of surak.

also, this episode said “uhura is a vital member of this team” and we love to see it

someone get amanda a damn chair, her husband’s in the middle of dying

spock: wow. i was dreading this trip but i did not anticipate having to deal with the fact that i still care about my shitty father

OOOOOOOOKKKKAAAAYYYY. when spock puts together the plan to use the drug on himself and then give the necessary blood to sarek, amanda is the one to explicitly put it together. when spock says yeah, still under the “emotions? none here, all i have is Logic,” we cut back to amanda, who goes through several emotions in the close-up. she knows. she knows spock’s quick willingness to take the risk is stemming from care for sarek, despite the fact that he’s been an extremely shitty father. she also looks maybe a little guilty. and i hope she feels that way. some guilt would do her good.

this whole episode really sucks for bones. he’s just trying to be a decent medical practitioner and no one is respecting that.

oh here’s kirk’s ass

gosh this fight scene is fucking outta nowhere. i fucking love this show. it’s weird as hell. what the HELL is this fighting technique. and passing like that? i’m losing my mind what the hell

THAT SAID this episode REALLY sucks for spock. homeboy’s already going through some massive shit and then jim gets critically injured. we hate to see it

oh no. oh shit. here it comes. the worst scene. the scene that makes me want to throw things at the screen. here we go

FUCK YOU, AMANDA. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU, AMANDA. FUCK. YOU.

this isn’t even a vulcan-based decision. This is the kind of decision a human in the same situation would also have to make. spock CANNOT hand over command right now. there are dozens of delegates on board. the captain has been critically injured. there is an extremely dangerous, unidentified ship just outside. there is so obviously a scheme at work. there is immediate danger to hundreds of individuals, and as first officer, he has a duty to the ship. he literally says all this. he literally says that he would do it if he could without abandoning everyone else. this decision is logical, but it is not devoid of emotion. he states that clearly. but does amanda listen? no. she doesn’t. her ears are closed in this conversation. she only has one goal here: shame spock into obedience. and when he refuses to yield, she gets aggressive.

i get it, okay. i do. this situation is awful for her. she’s stressed to the max. she has an outburst, a mistake. but what she does isn’t acceptable. it’s awful, it’s horrible, i hate her for it so much.

i have more i could say on this subject, but this post is about the whole episode, not just this scene.

“we cannot disregard that philosophy for personal gain, no matter how important that gain might be.” your 1 is showing mr spock. also i love you. i’d ask you to marry me but you’re already married

oh, i hate her. OH, i hate her.

the gaslighting, folks!! the shaming!!!! the emotional manipulation!! i hate it!! i hate it so much!!!! OHHHHHHH MY GOSH I HATE THIS

oh wow i’m gonna have to make a second post just about this scene later. i can’t type it all now. i don’t have time and also i’ve get too emotional

spock can’t even talk it out with jim because jim’s busy being near death in the same damn room as his father, and he can’t go to bones because bones is busy trying to keep them both from dying, and he can’t go to uhura because uhura is busy tracking the threat.........ohhhhh i hate this so much

the hand he puts up against the door that will ultimately mirror wrath of khan, only this door isn’t clear, and the gesture isn’t returned....... i hate this so much

jim, finding out about all the shit that’s gone down while he’s been unconscious: can’t damn a man for his loyalty. YES JIM YES. this is what we love to see. everyone else sees spock’s actions so far as disloyal to his father. only jim has seen them as acutely loyal, to starfleet. AND he’s willing to put himself in danger to let spock off the hook.

spock, looking from jim to bones back to jim: mm. i sense bullshit. and you know what? plausible deniability. yeah sure i’ll go save my father’s life.

I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT, that the plan jim made upon waking up assumed spock was overly cautious in thinking scotty shouldn’t be put in command. he intended to let scotty take over as soon as spock was gone. then. after a mere few seconds on the bridge, he changes his plans. spock had been right. spock was RIGHT to stay in command. VINDICATION.

okay i don’t even think amanda should be in the room right now but she should CERTAINLY have a damn chair

spock, in the middle of an operation: okay WAIT actually i just figured it ou- *is sedated* this is just like hermione getting petrified

wow this episode really sucks for bones. the poor man’s doing surgery on vulcans in the middle of a space battle.

jim, immediately: is spock okay. don’t give me this bullshit is hE OKAY YES OR NO

the end scene is sweet. EXCEPT FOR SAREK BEING A BITCH, AS HE FUCKN DOES. “one does not thank logic” fuck you man

“Logic, logic, FUCK your logic” - let amanda say fuck edition

we do like to see sarek finally speaking to spock of his own free will, but he’s still an asshole

okay this bit with the triumvirate. very cute. a nice ending. we need some release after that damn episode.

i can’t believe i made it to the end. i started at 8:15 and it’s 10 now.

#marie talks #star trek

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ibelieveinahappilyeverafter · 4 years

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Alright, everyone, this is a personal post as much as it’s a public post so feel free to scroll all the way down to the colored text for the public part of the message but if you, like me, enjoy drama, then continue on!

So, to make a very, very, very long story short for those who don’t know, I call my birth mother Mother Gothel due to her emotionally abusive upbringing of me that caused me to suffer from severe depression, anxiety, and even hair loss! A few years ago, back in 2016, my friend-turned-sister drove down with her mother, packed me and my bags up, and gave me a place to live and start over where I’ve been able to get jobs, go to school, and become much healthier than I used to be!

During those years of growth and recovery, however, I kept in contact with Gothel through emails and the occasional phone call. Over the years, from the safety of being hundreds of miles away, I told her that I was gay and dating a girl. The resulting emails were not pleasant and she had no problems about calling my girlfriend a whore. Lovely, right?

Every email she has sent me has contained detailed bible quotes and scripture and needles of guilt over everything I’m doing “wrong.” She’s still “so proud of me,” however. So at least there’s that, right?

As of recently I emailed her and told her that I will be attending a four-year university in Tacoma Washington (moving away from Illinois) to continue my education. Her resulting email was lengthy. Here is some of it - cut for length.

Hi Michelle.

...

You have to watch everything you say this day and time, at least that is what Jesus said in the Book of Matthew 5:37-- "Let your Yes be Yes, and let your No be No. Anything else is from the evil one." (anotherwords the devil will take your words you speak and trip and mess you up land you in jail or prison for 10 yrs)That would be really sad after you work so hard for an education and degrees then let him mess you up but read in John 10:10--the enemy comes to steal--kill--destroy--but Jesus said I have come so that you may have life and have it more abundantly. That is why Jesus said in Proverbs 18:21" Life and death are in the power of the tongue"

...

I was telling Mom on the phone just this morning we talked for two hours-- that I was going to get a restaurant job here as soon as possible and let it move me out of here--I am moveing to Battle Creek or Marshall by Sept (labor day) and that I was sooo excited that I would finally get to see you, she said either her or Carl would drive me to [REDACTED] every now and then to see you. So Yes, I feel like a bomb was just dropped on me, my heart is broken, however I hope you will be happy and I wish you well in body and spirit-- I wish you nothing but the best. Just know one thing is for sure, I read my Bible and I will tell you right now, we are living in our last days you need to be concerned about where you are going to spend eternity. I just finished up reading the book of Matthew. In Matthew 21:25 The Heading Reads: "The Coming of the Son of Man" vs 25- And their will be signs in the Sun, the Moon, the Stars--mens hearts will fail them for fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on the earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. vs 27--THEN they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with Power and Great Glory. Now when these things begin to happen, look up and list up your heads, because your redemption draws near". Jesus said He would give us signs in the Heavens above and the earth beaneath. All of the earthquakes that have been happening for the last decade leading up to the Austrailian wildfires, and billions of animals died, God is giving us the signs, its just like He said in Matthew 24:36-44.

Lastly, 1 Thessalonians 4 :13--But I do not want you to be ignorant brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God wil bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from Heaven With A SHOUT--with the voice of an archangel, and with the Trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rist first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord, Therefore Comfort one another with these words.

After the Rapture, then comes the tribulation. I have read Revelation many times and to say the least you don't want to be left behind. In Heaven their will be 30 mins of silence that is when all Hell breaks loose down here. Just whatever you do, Do NOT take the mark of the beast if you do, then you will mark your soul for eternal damnation. Then you will hear the devil say----"Hello! Welcome to Hell!

I am saying all of this bcuz now you have a choice to live for God or for Satan. If something should happen to your body or God forbid but if someone tries to take your life or you get in an accident and your heart is not right with God--That is exactly how you will stand at the Judgement Bar. The minute you take your last breath in this body, you will be ushered into the presence of God then it is too late to make a decision there it is if the Angel does not find your name in the Book of Life, then the devil stands there waiting to escourt you to------Well lets just say---You Don't want to go there. But the Bible says you will answer for every deed done in the body good and bad.I know one thing, it can't be too much longer according to scripture. The greatest tool the enemy uses from his toolbox is that you have plenty of time--well I can say the devil is a liar cuz Jesus just says--Be Ready it is not up to us how long we get to stay down here, that is God's calling.Second Timothy 3----But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of truth.

Sister, we are living in our last days, make every day that God gives you breath in your body count bcuz you don't know when it will be your last day. There is pleasure in sin for a season--Hebrews 11:24. Whatever you do, don't let the devil take your life and your soul, it is not worth it.

Love You So Much and want to make sure your soul doesn't go to H---. I am praying that you will have a preacher as a husband.I miss you Michelle, I miss hugging you, I miss walking up those stairs to bring your meals to you I would LOVE to hug you just one more time. That may or may not happen before He Returns ony God knows this.Please write me back when you can, you are always on my heart and mind. I have made mistakes while we were all living at 2414, I am so very sorry I pray that you forgive me if I have offended you please forgive me, I thought I had it all together. But now I see, I was just messed up and made lots of wrong choices, but God came along with His Holy broom and cleaned up my mess and said to move on. I am so glad when He forgives our sins, He forgets never no more to be remembered. All I can say is ---Thank-you Jesus.

...

Love You Forever my dearest Daughter and Friend.

This is the average email from her and I’ve been told that it’s not normal to receive emails this long talking about how she’s ‘devastated’ by my choices and how the world is going to end in hellfire soon. Please allow me, however, to show the email she immediately sent after the above.

[T]acoma is Washington's most dangerous city, with a violent crime rate of 953 incidents per 100,000 residents. While this is a relatively high rate — the 96th worst in the country — the city's incidence of property crime stands out even more. ... Indeed, the city had the country's 15th highest property crime rate in 2016

The overall crime rate in Tacoma is 138% higher than the national average. For every 100,000 people, there are 16.81 daily crimes that occur in Tacoma. Tacoma is safer than 3% of the cities in the United States. In Tacoma you have a 1 in 17 chance of becoming a victim of any crime.

Have you done the research for this city?They said Tacoma is the most violent city in Washington,I love you and want you to be happy. There are sooo many universities with the same opportunities.

How would you get around, does your friend drive? I did see how beautiful the area is but you just have to be careful I guess everywhere you go.

As you can see, she immediately invalidates my choice - something I was very truly wonderfully excited about - and sends me a message that triggers my anxiety. I should note that she did not allow me out of the house without her even when I was an adult and over 18. If I went somewhere she had to be there with me.

Ah, but now we come to today and the email that spurred this post to creation. The above emails were sent two days ago and I have yet to respond. The email below was sent just today.

Hi Michelle.

While I cannot apologize for what I said, It was not my intention to offend you in any way. I just went to google and typed in most dangerous city in the state of Washington and Tacoma popped up, that is out of 100 cities in the state.Okay, I know you say you have been there and all and you are no match for all of the evil there. God forbid, should something happen to you--you would be just another name and another number to them there is no much evil there they can't control it, I say to you just watch on a daily basis all of the crime that goes on in that sin city.

You better be praying about this cuz I don't think God would want you to put yourself in harms way--make a wiser choice, and God will bless you for it.Look at what happened to kobe bryant incident.... they met a very bad situation face to face and of course their was no way they could turn that around. My whole point of conversation.....sure you can do what you want bcuz you are an adult grown woman, but I would strongly advise you to pray to God about it and make a wise choice here, your life and future depends on right choices you make now.

What about University of Michigan in Ann Arbor or East Lansing University, Michigan University Kalamazoo, they are on the ten universities in Michigan. You need to reconsider your decision and think about your resourses you can get more help from family bcuz I have all kinds of family up there and I will be up there soon. You are no match for Tacoma Washington. I only say this bcuz you are my daughter and I don't want something really bad come out of this just bcuz you are trying to get an education behind you--this calls for wise decisions.

You may never speak to me again, but I just want to inform you that you need to be very very cautious here.

Love You Forever.

...

“You may never speak to me again.”

...

This is the last email I have read from her and it will remain the last email I will ever read from her. I also will not be sending her any emails ever again because you know what?

Her scared, anxious daughter Michelle Jean Anderson died and I’m what’s left - and I’m sick of her shit.

So, hello, everybody! My name is Andy Alex Anderson and my pronouns are he/him (or they/them if you panic and forget) and it’s a pleasure to meet you!

#everafterupdates #everafterrambles #original #welp okay this is poste dit's on the internet forever now #haaaa #okay #long post

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leechangjoons · 4 years

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Cascade the Flute (TK:EM Fic)

Now you must be wondering why I’m writing fic for this when I don’t even go here.

It’s simple. I wasn’t given enough Lee Jungjin, and KES can suck my dick for her ableist cop-out.

With a billion parallel universes out there, the half of the flute Manpasikjeok Rim carries chooses one of his unwitting victims: the paralysed, mute copy of himself in modern day Korea, who reacts to his equally royal bloodline.

Republic of Korea, 1994

This was supposed to be quick and dirty, Rim sighed as he stalked into the house. He easily located the limp man in the wheelchair, dirty and disheveled, his limbs sagged and moaning unintelligibly.

He was disgusted at this. Of course his copy would be this downtrodden cripple who couldn’t even defend himself. Rim’d done his research about matters: he’d been a history professor who specialised in artefacts not unlike the Manpasikjeok before his good-for-nothing brother wasted away the family fortune, and an unexplained fall in the college he’d been working out of left him in this state.

As he reached over to start choking the other man, the half of the Manpasikjeok with him began to vibrate, before it glowed. Seongjae’s hand reached out, his eyes gaining a glint of hope seeing the object he’d done extensive research on respond to him, and without warning, the chunk of flute darted from his hand and towards Seongjae’s. Rim cursed, a snarl forming across his face as he shifted to taking the gun out instead.

“I was going to make this painless, but you force my hand,” he growled, and Seongjae examined the flute. Like Rim, he easily cloaked himself in a glow, his limp body responding to the flute’s movements more than it being voluntary. The gleam from the flute engulfed him, and Seongjae vanished- with the flute in hand from the room.

“Seongjae-ah--” came another voice, and Rim took this opportunity to make his getaway. He had his own power to replicate the portals, but first...he needed to hunt down the person who’d stolen the flute under his nose. He clicked the gun’s safety back on, sliding it into his coat before heading out on his own. He had other things to put into motion. This was only a small setback.

-----

The Blue House, Korea(?), 2020

The president was greeted by some of her guards regarding an intruder who’d fallen from seemingly space, clutching a half of some sort of flute tightly in his right hand but unable to respond to them because he couldn’t speak. The woman in shades flourished her hand with a sigh, making her way over to the holding area to see how she could help. Alongside her followed a smug, wheelchair-using man, a tablet in hand as he turned towards his companion with a smirk.

“What should we do, Yoonah-noona,” he asked, following her towards the cell and peering in with curiosity, “Oh fuck, you will not believe this.”

Seongjae stared back, before his eyes too widened seeing a second copy of himself stare at him. This one seemed...cordial. Calm, though with the spirit of a prankster in him, and the man shook his head furiously in concern and worry. He couldn’t move (curse the fact that he was locked inside his head this way) but managed another small moan of distress.

The president turned to her companion, smiling gently. “Well, if he’s you, Sungwon-sshi, then won’t it be your business to return him where he belongs?” she commented with a wave of her hand, “I trust you, though. I’m sure you’d know what to do.” She followed the rest of the guards back upstairs, and as the tapping of her cane receded, Sungwon leant forward with an air of concern seeing himself look so disheveled.

“I’m Sungwon, great to meet you,” he introduced, and Seongjae nearly burst into tears seeing the lack of pity or murderous intent in his eyes saying this, “We’ll fix you up with something you can use to talk to us, ok? I’m pretty good with electronics, I can get you an eye-controlled word board you can type words out of so it’s easier for you to talk. A wheelchair, of course, once we get a full body examination.”

Sungwon grinned again, with all the confidence Seongjae lacked after years of being an invalid. “Whatever happens, I’m booking you out of there. I don’t know how you’re going to use that flute when it’s broken like that, but hey, don’t question the messenger, eh?” he laughed, before looking back towards Seongjae once more, “Now don’t give me that look. Where’d you travel from, the caveman age? It’s 2020! We can help you plenty now!”

Seongjae’s eyes widened immediately at this. He’d time traveled 26 years into the future? Whatever would Jihoon and his mother say? They were probably worried as hell about him right now. He managed another confused moan, eyes darting from side to side at the indication before remembering the cards in his pocket Shinhye’d left in there in case he’d been left outside too long. That should help shed some light on his identity.

At this, Sungwon nodded and easily scanned the card key to let himself in. “Let’s get you a clean change of clothes, a haircut and maybe some gel to make you look as awesome as me,” he chuckled, parting Seongjae’s fringe to reveal his bright eyes, which slid downwards towards his pants, “You’re in there somewhere. I trust you can tell me who you are and where you’re from.”

His hand trailed towards it, carefully picking out the cards. “Lee Seongjae, born 1950...wait a diddly darn minute, you’re not even from this part of the woods, and you’re supposed to be seventy?!” he declared, waving his arms in annoyance, “I wish I looked like this when I’m 70!” Seongjae scoffed at this, trying to indicate he didn’t have much of a choice before watching Sungwon rifle through his own pockets.

Seongjae squinted at Sungwon’s own identification, not only realising how much younger he was (dear lord, he was only 43 while he was supposedly 70). Where the fuck was this Republic of Korea, and why did they seem so much more advanced?

#this is so much crack lol #korean shifters #proxy manticore #forecasted politics

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misssunflowersandsangria · 4 years

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The Arrangement

Chapter 8: The Challenge

Hello my darling readers! This chapter took me so long but it’s finally here! I hope that you enjoy it!

Summary: The final ritual.

Flashback

“The last one, fuck.” Shikamaru just stared, Temari looked a little rattled.

“You have to take on Garra.”

His eyes widened. “What the hell? What do you mean I have to take on Garra.”

“You have to beat him in a challenge.”

“You realize that this is the Kazekage, former Jinchuriki that literally has no weaknesses and I have shadows?”

“You don’t have to physically fight him, you get to choose the type of challenge. Normally you would have to challenge my father but thankfully that’s not the case so Garra it is.”

“You’re acting like he’s that much better of an option.”

“Trust me, he is.”

Shikamaru looked unconvinced. “Is there anything that guarantees that I get out of this alive?”

Temari just rolled her eyes. “Stop being dramatic. You issue the challenge, win, then this whole thing is over. The council gets what it wanted no one is the wiser. Then we go back to our regular lives. Everyone wins.” And yet the idea of life without him again felt so painful.

Her face took on a contemplative quality. “Believe me, if there was a way that I could challenge Garra myself for my freedom, I would, but unfortunately this is the only way.”

Shikamaru paused his complaints. Her statement brought him back to Earth, reminding him of what was actually important. He knew how much it must upset her to have to rely on him to get out of this situation. He needed to do this for her and when all was said and done, together they’d find a better way.

Temari could tell that he was wracking his brain for a solution and it made her smile. Her genius strategist. As much as he might complain she could rely on him when it mattered. They’d get through this.

She placed her hand over his that formed a circle. “Hey, you’re a lot stronger than you think. Kazekage or not I always told you that you could have become the Hokage if you really wanted to. The whole purpose is to show that the man I chose isn’t weak. He can stand side by side with the Kazekage. You can do this.”

She could see the stress leave his body her vote of confidence encouraging his resolve. “Thanks, Tem, it means a lot for you to say that.”

He paused reflecting on all the things that they’d have to do, it was a lot but it wasn't impossible and it was important.

“We can do this Temari, you believe in me and I have faith in you. We’ll get through this because you and I are great partners, we always have been.”

Temari nodded agreeing to the sentiment. They had always been much more successful working together. Her fate was in his hands and despite all that was at stake, she trusted him to come through for her.

End Flashback

“Man the food here is amazing! We’ve gotta come back when you’re not busy doing all this.” Chouji was surprised to see Shikamaru scrutinizing a Shogi board in front of him this late at night. He was probably overthinking again. Chouji took the seat across from him pouring a drink for both of them.

“Nervous about tomorrow?” Chouji asked, moving a piece. He never enjoyed playing but would indulge Shikamaru from time to time.

Shikamaru shrugged. “A little.”

Now that he and Temari admitted how they felt there was more at stake. He couldn’t let anything stand between them being together.

Chouji just waved off his concerns. “Don’t be, no one can beat you. This is your game.”

“I guess...” There were no guarantees and it would be foolish to assume he’d win easily. Neither of them was quite sure what would happen if he wasn’t able to defeat Gaara. He could only imagine that The Council would attempt to invalidate their relationship somehow. Then they would most definitely arrange another relationship for her.

“Hey, you and Temari are two of the smartest people I know. Whether you win tomorrow or not I know that if you want to be together nothing will stop you. You'll figure out a way, you always do.” There was sheer confidence in those familiar eyes.

“Thanks, Chouji, for everything.”

“We’ve all had a good time being here. It was kind of nice seeing you take on this role. As your best friend who has seen this relationship grow and heard all the complaints turn into something different, I’m happy for you and Temari. You’re good for each other, she makes you really happy. You both deserve that.” Chouji appreciated Temari’s presence in their life. Shikamaru had been through a lot and his best friend deserved to have a partner that would love and encourage him.

Shikamaru smiled at his friend, thankful for his support and friendship over the years.

They both toasted their cups tossing back a drink. “Here’s to growing up.”

“Ready for this?” Temari asked, placing an encouraging kiss on his cheek.

Shikamaru smiled with a nod pulling her into his arms, taking a moment to breathe her in. Trying to assure them both that it would all be okay.

He took a deep breath and nodded. “I think so.”

Temari’s hands reached up to cradle his face between her palms. Confidence and pride shining in her teal eyes. “Whatever happens in there it’s you and I in the end.”

Shikamaru met Garra at the center of a training room the academy students would use. The spectators all watched from above. Temari was seated between Kankurou and Yoshino, Chouji and Ino behind her. They could all tell that she was nervous and tried to be as supportive as possible.

Yoshino patted Temari’s hand affectionately. “Don’t fret my child, if he’s anything like his father, he won’t let anything stand in his way.”

Temari leaned into her, appreciating the reassurance. “Thank you, mother.”

They stared as Gaara turned to address Shikamaru.

“Nara Shikamaru, you have come this far but we will not simply give our Princess to you. You must prove yourself strong and capable, a man that is deserving of her. And so I ask you, what challenge have you brought today.”

Unwilling to shrink under the pressure Shikamaru stood there tall and confident. “I present to you a challenge that tests your critical thinking, strategy, and intellect. Qualities that are necessary for a worthy partner. Lord Gaara, I humbly request a Shogi match.”

Gaara just nodded, not at all surprised. “Your request has been granted.”

“You are better than I expected. I assumed your responsibilities as Kazekage would have prevented you from being able to play.” Shikamaru couldn’t help but compliment him.

“After you taught Temari she’d demand that Kankuro and I play with her to practice so that she could beat you one day. Our moves were constantly scrutinized compared to yours.”

Shikamaru just chuckled, of course, she did.

“Besides, after she concocted this whole plan I guessed that this was the route that you were going to go. So I planned ahead.” He was quite shrewd.

“I know that this didn’t start off real but I’m thankful that it worked out the way that it did. That you both figured out what you mean to each other.”

Shikamaru appreciated the opportunity that they had to talk to one another. “It’s been an experience. I’ve know Temari for a while now but I got to see a different side of her and Suna. I feel like I’m getting so much more out of this.”

“Take care of her for us okay?” Shikamaru looked up at him surprised by the request.

“Always.”

“Princess or not she hasn’t had the easiest life, I’m sure that you know that. You make her happy. She feels safe with you. That means a lot. She’s sacrificed so much for us and Suna. If she hadn’t met you she probably would have sacrificed her happiness as well. You’re the one selfish thing that she demanded for herself. As the Kazekage, but more importantly as her brother, thank you. I know that she can be difficult, but I know that the two of you will be very happy.”

Shikamaru didn’t have siblings growing up. The closest comparison would be his relationship with Ino and Choji. He could only begin to imagine the bond that Temari shared with her brothers, especially considering all that they’d been through. It was an honor to be welcomed into that fold.

“Can you do me a favor though?”

“Sure, anything.”

“I know that you’re so many moves ahead of me. Can you prolong the game a little longer? It wouldn’t look too good if the Kazekage loses so easily.” Garra requested with a grin. He knew that Shikamaru had him beat from the beginning but it wouldn’t do well to just have admitted defeat.

Shikamaru nodded with a smile. Garra played just like Temari did and unfortunately for him, he had multiple strategies to counter her moves.

“Not a problem. It will be a little funny to see everyone stress about it.”

“Why is this taking so long? When we play he can’t wait to show me up. Now all of a sudden he doesn’t know what to do?” Temari complained aloud. She didn’t even think that it was a possibility that Garra could beat him. What would happen if that was the case?

“Tem calm down, I know you want to ride off into the sunset with your prince but it’s kind of exciting considering it’s just a Shogi match and not a fight to the death.” She just glared in response forcing Kankuro to scoot away from her.

She looked down at where Shikamaru and Gaara were seated, annoyed, and worried. She couldn’t see the Shogi board from where they were. Shikamaru should have had Garra beat by now.

The two males in question could feel her intense glare.

Shikamaru feared meeting her gaze. “We should probably finish this up or she might actually come down here.”

“You’re right. She must really love you to be this worried.” Shikamaru blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

They went back and forth a few more times before Shikamaru made his final move ending the game they both stood bowing respectfully to the other signaling the end.

“Nara Shikamaru you proved yourself a worthy opponent and have won this challenge.”

They were both surprised by the cheers that erupted. It seems that everyone was rooting for this outcome. Temari collapsed into her chair relieved, releasing a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. They did it. It had all managed to work out. She wanted to run down there but now came the last step, their presentation to Suna.

Temari looked up, seeing the door open revealing Shikamaru. She ran up towards him, meeting him for a kiss. After this, he was wholly and completely hers, and the world would know it too.

“How do I look?” She smiled her hands tracing over his shoulders to adjust his coat. He’d been given a set of Suna clothing to wear for their formal presentation to the village. Long fitted buttoned dark green coat with intricate gold embroidery along the seams, a swath of gold fabric hung over his shoulder. Together in her own gold silk dress with elaborate beading and jeweled crown they looked like quite a royal couple. This wasn’t how either of them were used to dressing but it was nice for just a little bit.

“You look very handsome.” There was no snark or follow up, just a genuine compliment to which he couldn’t help but kiss her.

“I love you Tem.”

Even now the statement left her breathless. Her arms wrapped tighter around him trying to take in the moment. This crazy plan of hers had worked out in such a wonderful and unexpected way.

“I love you too Shikamaru.”

* **

Gaara stood at the balcony looking over a sea of people who were waiting with eager anticipation. He was happy to see and feel the enthusiasm and joy that had been absent from his people for so long.

“People of Suna, it is my privilege to present to you our Princess Temari and Nara Shikamaru the man that she has chosen to share her life with.”

Hand in hand they stepped forward to deafening cheers and shouts of excitement.

“He has demonstrated himself as capable, embracing our people and culture. He has shown his strength and intellect through which I trust him to stand shoulder to shoulder with me. He has proven himself worthy of our Princess. Shikamaru, Temari, I along with the Council and the people of Suna, and Konoha approve and bless this relationship. It is our hope that it will only continue to strengthen and that we may see your example of love as one that inspires all of us.”

The crowd began to cheer and celebrate wildly excited for their relationship and it’s influence and effect on Suna.

Temari and Shikamaru smiled and waved, neither one enjoying the attention but humbled by the support. Shikamaru was thankful that the land and people that Temari loved so much could accept him as one of their own.

They remained there for a few moments longer before stepping away and retreating into her room. They had one family dinner left and this would all be done.

Away from the crowds, and cheers, the silence was welcoming. It was also a stark reminder that he’d be going home soon, they’d both be returning to their daily lives

“Come here.” Temari slid into his open arms, head rested against her favorite spot on his chest. She took a moment to savor the feeling of his arms around her and the steady beat of his heart. Why did it take them so long to figure this out? They had years to sort out their feelings and once they finally had he was leaving.

“I don’t want you to go.” She knew that he couldn’t stay. He’d already put his entire life on hold for her for a month but that didn’t stop the selfish request.

“I know Tem, I hate that we’re so far apart.” Saying goodbye to her always hurt but especially now. He didn’t care about what they had to do next. He’d happily go through it if that meant they could always be together. Shikamaru pulled back to take her hand in his before placing them on the pendant of her necklace.

“I’m always right here.”

She squeezed her eyes tightly refusing to let those tears fall. She wasn’t losing him, he was finally hers. They would just need to be apart for a little, it would make being together that much sweeter.

“Shika after dinner tonight can you come back here?” She asked shyly a blush painted across her cheeks. She needed to soak in as much time together as possible.

He nodded before his lips met hers. His tongue tracing the seam of her lips before they parted allowing him to explore her mouth. He felt himself becoming drunk off her taste and sweet sighs of contentment. His hands grasped along the curve of her waist, her warm skin beneath his fingertips. She was incredible. His troublesome, perfect Sand Princess.

“Nothing could keep me away.”

The Arrangement:

Chapter 1: The Set- Up

Chapter 2: The Proposition

Chapter 3: The Participants

Chapter 4: The Declaration

Chapter 5: The Fear

Chapter 6: The Performance

Chapter 7: The Meaning

Chapter 8: The Challenge

Do you ever like refall in love with characters? I feel like that happened while I read through my previous chapters and while writing this one. I love these two so much!!!

We’re almost to the end. I think the next update might come even slower than this one...I’m going back and forth between a few ideas and I might write a smutty chapter as a follow-up but that’s still to be seen. At most there should only be three more chapters then this story will be all done. I hope that you’re all doing okay, healthy, and well. Keep taking care of yourself and others! Love you!

#shikatema #shikatem #shikamaru x temari #princess temari #fake dating #sand siblings #nara clan #fanfic

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misslisterkeepsajournal · 4 years

Text

1826 Friday 14 April

6 3/4

1 3/4

Went downstairs staid sometime talking to Miss Marsh breakfasted at the Duffins’ at 9 - all very glad to see me - at 10 called on the Cromptons - saw them all - sat an hour there - then Mr Duffin and I went over the bridge - spoke to Meyers about the carriage - ordered the lining (drab cloth) and fringe to suit it, with brass door handles etc and a brass cornice round the middle of the body of the carriage like the one to be built for Mrs Norcliffe - Mr Duffin and I called at Dr Henry Belcombe’s in the minster yard - then went to see poor Eliza Raine at Mrs Barker’s in the Lord mayor’s walk - thought her looking thin and aged (Mr Duffin did not observe this) but well and comfortable - neatly dressed - she knew us both but seems completely in a state of idiotism - mentioned to Mr Duffin about her will - I wished him to act for me - he would rather my father acted - I said no - then I would employ my attorney. Mr Duffin has the will - favor of - will let me have a copy of it - we called at Fisher’s - then at Mrs Best’s - She could not see us then, but would be happy to do so in an hour - we had been at Todd’s to see for Mathews’s Diary of an invalid 2 volumes 12m [duodecimo] which Mrs H.S. Belcombe had recommended - he got it for us from the library and we went to the library to speak about it - called at Horner’s - he examined my teeth - quite good - but to call again when next in York - then homewards - called on Mrs Anne and Miss Gage - Miss Yorke came - said I was going to call on her - would not hurry her away, would call by and by - went home - Letter of bad news from Miss Duffin (Bath) - poor Miss Ellen Duffin very low. Mr Duffin always called on for money - Miss Yorke came in sat a long while - then took a turn with her out of the bar, and sat with her and her mother about 1/4 hour - then went to Miss Marshe’s - Rosamond Best there - I had met her when walking with Miss Yorke - did not know her at all, so very fat - Mrs Henry Belcombe came - sat a while - then went over the bridge again to Mrs Best - Rose reading a volume of Tiraboschi’s Storia della Letteratura - asked if there was any English translation of it - would like to know if a translation of it was wanted what Rose could get for making one they were serious and I promised to inquire for them of some bookseller in town Mr Saltmarshe came in while I was with Mrs Best - Got back to the Duffins’ to dine at 4 55/60 - Dinner at 5 - tea at 8 - It seemed from a word or 2 of Mr Duffin’s, he might possibly go with us to Paris in September - came to Miss Marsh’s to sleep at 10 1/4 - we both sat up talking till 1 1/4 -

About their being married at Winterslow but not till the year was up after the funeral Mrs Duffin died on Wednesday the last of August and was buried the Monday following I said they might be married the next day after and get to town that night they had no time to lose if they meant to be in Paris with us we should only stay a week said how delighted I should be yet on the whole threw out doubts about its being the best time of year May the best month not in my heart wishing to have them mentioned their taking a tour to the highlands Miss Marsh apologized for talking so much about herself but she had only told it to Miss Maria Salmond she was away and I was the only one she could talk to on the subject somehow got to Miss Ellen Duffin Miss Marsh had told me the distresses last night no remittances from India etc etc little dreaming I knew it all likes Ellen exceedingly if I had not been giving her credit for the contrary should never have told me how different she was with men she was Irish in this this was her fault mentioned her fancied conquest of Jocelyn Willey etc even Jameson had observed it and Sophia too but all the Irish were so Norcliffe and Philip Taylor both agreed etc etc Sophia never liked her so little as when seeing her with men and Jameson did not like the expression of her eyes to Mr Willey it was a pity he had refused to go with her a second time to the minster at the last festival etc etc how like one woman of another - I said I did not like this in anybody I really cared for and seemed as it had made a deep impression not in favour of Miss Duffin Miss Marsh was sorry she had told me etc etc it struck me she did not want us to be too intimate and at heart I only laughed at the thing -

Miss Yorke was uncommonly civil to me this morning - I had said I was near rapping at their door to inquire after them at 10 this morning - she wished I had - begged I would another time - should have been most happy if I would breakfasted with them - afterwards flattered me exceedingly (tho’ well done) about my bearing my talents so unpresumptuously, and being as all agreed the most agreeable of learned people etc etc. Indeed every body is uncommonly civil to me - Came to my own room at 1 1/4 - made minutes of today - Fine day - but windy and cold - E..O.. [regarding her venereal condition: two treatments, moderate discharge] - the town in a bustle - Colonel Wilson of Sneaton Castle who promises to stand for the next city election (a blue member and anticatholic) made his appearance, and was dragged into the town to the George Inn in Coney Street where he was received by his friends

Reference: SH:7/ML/E/9/0085

#anne lister #anne lister code breaker #gentleman jack #1826 #york

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earlybirds-atla-au · 4 years

Text

The summer solstice, what happened there?

Oh, about what you’d expect from any family holiday gathering…

(prompt submitted by Girljackson on AO3)

~~~

“Is that Ozai?”

It’s all the warning Ursa gets before her fiance is swept up by a jovial woman with Yu Yan tattoos.

“Jyoti!” Ozai protests, but he’s unable to escape the woman’s fingers before they pinch his cheeks.

“Little cousin, look how big you’ve gotten!” she coos. Ursa can’t help but giggle, and that proves to be a mistake as Jyoti’s head turns toward her. “Oh!” she exclaims, eyes lighting up. “And you must be Ursa!”

When Ursa finally escaped to the banquet table, her mother frowned at her. “I thought you said you were going light on the makeup, dear,” Rina said. “Why are you wearing so much rouge?”

“Cousin Jyoti got to you, didn’t she?” Janya snickered, and Ursa groaned and rubbed her cheeks with a rueful nod.

The summer solstice celebrations progressed as well as they could. Fire Sage Kuzon presided over the spiritual side of the ceremony, giving praise to Agni and asking for blessings and luck for the Fire Nation in its ongoing Great March of Civilization. Other Fire Sages performed similar rites, and then a bunch of nobles gave some speeches and praised the royal family for their astute leadership and wished them good fortune. Through it all, Ursa saw Fire Lord Azulon looking more and more bored. One of the first things she’d learned about her future father-in-law was that he wasn’t one for pomp and circumstance and only dealt with it when the court demanded it.

When the talking was finally over with, the eating and socializing began. Ursa chattered with her parents about her new life in the royal palace, Janya interjecting every so often - mostly to heap praise upon Ursa’s shoulders. Ursa was a sweet, kind girl with a keen sense of humor, fun to spar with and a splendid conversationalist, and Ozai was just dazzled with her. Jinzuk and Rina should be very proud to have raised such a daughter! She was going to make a wonderful addition to the royal family.

Ursa flushed at the praise. Beside her, Ozai was just as red, and he kept shooting Janya annoyed scowls that she pointedly ignored. Iroh smiled serenely and pretended not to see his little brother’s embarrassment. Ursa caught Ozai’s eye and shot him a quick grin, which only made him flush more.

Ursa took a minute to look around the banquet hall. She heard Azulon laugh at something Daimyo Masami of Kohimori Island said, and at one of the other tables she caught sight of one of Janya’s relatives from the House of Flying Daggers doing some sort of balancing trick with a knife on her finger. At another table sat all the Fire Sages who were in attendance for the festivities. Most of them spoke amongst themselves, except for one who was in deep conversation with Daimyo Ayako of the Shiroboshi Clan.

Fire Sage Kuzon, however, wasn’t speaking to anybody. Rather, he was looking straight at Ursa.

Ursa pursed her lips and went back to her meal. She wasn’t unused to the scrutiny of Fire Sages. She was, after all, the granddaughter of Avata Roku - though that little fact Was Not Talked About, not in polite company. It was, perhaps, a factor in Azulon’s proposal that she marry Ozai, but by no means the only reason behind their betrothal, and one that was barely acknowledged. Still, for all that lack of acknowledgement, Fire Sages had a knack for showing up in Hira’a to ask Ursa’s parents and aunts and uncles questions about spiritual affairs. They never asked Ursa, because Ursa had never known her grandfather.

But now Fire Sage Kuzon was looking at her.

She confronted him about it when the after-dinner mingling started up. Politely, of course. It made for better business if you were polite, a lesson she was trying to figure out how to hammer into Ozai’s head. “Fire Sage Kuzon, is there something I can help you with?”

“Ah, Lady Ursa,” the old man said, turning a genial smile on her. “How are you this evening?”

“Very well, sir, thank you. I saw you looking at me during dinner. Is everything alright?”

“Ah, you saw that did you?” he sighed, looking contrite. “I was just thinking. You look very much like your grandmother, you know.”

Oh. Ursa looked the old man over. She wasn’t sure how old he was, exactly, but he could easily be older than the war. Old enough to have known Lady Ta Min, certainly. “So I’ve heard,” she said. “Did you know her?”

“I met her a few times, when I was a boy. We had a mutual friend, you see. One of my friends’ teachers. He brought us to visit sometimes.” Fire Sage Kuzon smiled fondly. “She was a remarkable lady. Very kind. Always had a bowl of fire gummies ready for when rambunctious children visited.”

Ursa smiled. That sounded like the woman her father had described. Jinzuk had been born late in his parents’ lives, and had been raised more by his older siblings than by his parents themselves, but he had many fond memories of his mother. “I’ll have to stock up on fire gummies, then.”

Fire Sage Kuzon laughed, and Ursa laughed back politely, and then they went their separate ways.

She found Ozai grumping around in the middle of the banquet hall. His cheeks had been pinched red again. “This party sucks,” he grumbled.

“Do you want to sneak off somewhere and make out?” Ursa asked, mostly to see his face flush. She giggled. Ozai stomped off, face red as a chili pepper.

Ursa eventually found herself with her parents, sitting beside Azulon. “Having a pleasant evening, Father?” She wasn’t married yet, but Azulon had told her she could call him father already. He liked her.

“As pleasant as these parties can be,” Azulon sighed. “I’d rather be in my office.”

“It’s good to get out sometimes,” Ursa pointed out.

Azulon huffed.

Across the room, Iroh was serving up some tea to whoever wanted some, and that was when the arguing started. “Iroh, this isn’t tea.”

“But of course it is, Cousin Jyoti! It’s a plant leaf infusion made with hot water. That’s how one makes tea!”

“Herbal teas do not count!”

“Actually they fit the definition very nicely…”

“If it’s not made from the tea plant, it isn’t tea, Iroh.”

“It’s chamomile tea, Cousin. Drink some, it’s very good!”

“Does it even have caffeine? No, of course it doesn’t, because herbal teas are invalid.”

“Here Cousin, have a cup. It has a very pleasing calming effect; I think you could use some.”

“Chamomile tea is just hot daisy juice, Iroh!”

“What?”

“Fire Lord Azulon,” Jinzuk said, watching the drama unfold, “when I agreed to marry my daughter to your son, I did not think her marrying into the royal family would involve her in instances such as...this.”

The arguing was getting worse. Janya was trying to wade through the crowd to get to her husband, but to no avail.

“I know my sons can be...unique,” Azulon said. “But Ursa has slid very neatly into her place in our family. She can handle the...eccentricities of royal life.”

“I should hope so,” Rina muttered. “It isn’t too late for us to withdraw our agreement to the proposal.”

“No, but Ursa wouldn’t want that,” Azulon said, turning to Ursa. “She’s very happy here. Aren’t you, my dear?”

Ursa smiled sweetly. “I could have married Lao Beifong.”

Her parents snickered.

“Ursa I will give you a province if you promise to never entertain that notion again,” Azulon said.

“Oh no need, Father, it was just a joke!”

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack, child?”

“Father, I motion to banish Lady Jyoti from the Fire Nation on the grounds that she doesn’t appreciate all tea!” Iroh shouted from the middle of the hall.

“Your son is a disgrace to tea aficionados who drinks daisy water and has no standards, Uncle Azulon!” Jyoti shot back.

“REJECTED!” Azulon shouted back, and then his hands went to his temples.

“Are you alright, Father?” Ursa asked.

“I am going to put these people on different boats and send them all over the world.”

#early birds au

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commandertheory · 5 years

Text

Modern Horizons Commander Set Review

The Commanders of Modern Horizons

Urza seems very, very powerful. He runs tons of 0-mana artifacts so that almost every card you cast nets mana, and then relies on Blue’s efficient card draw (like Windfall, Time Reversal, etc) to draw into more mana, cards, and eventually tutors, which will get Paradox Engine. Paradox Engine usually means game over, because every spell you cast off of Urza’s last ability will untap all your mana sources.

Urza, Lord High Artificer

This is a sweet commander with a lot of combo potential. My current list here:

Yawgmoth, Thran Physician

It’s also a decent opportunity for an Old Phyrexia theme deck, if that’s your jam.

The passive pinging could be very good if you slap a Basilisk Collar or another deathtouch equipment on him. I think this could build into a grindier sort of goblin deck, in contrast to Krenko’s goblin aggro or Zada’s goblin combo. I think Mons could makes use of sweet sac outlets like Arms Dealer, Shivan Harvest, Dark-Dweller Oracle, and Goblin Trashmaster to control the board and get value.

This can be solid if you draw the right engines. Beast Whisperer, Vanquisher’s Banner, and Guardian Project are good here, as is Evolutionary Leap. The main thing you want to avoid is playing out your hand of bears, having no way to refill it, then getting your board wiped.

Ayula, Queen Among Bears

I’m pretty sure you can get this guy down consistently on turn three. There are many good cheap creatures in these colors (well, most are in Green) and there are a decent number of cantrips that dump a ton of cards in your graveyard like Grisly Salvage. It’s not going to be hard at all to cast some combination of two creatures and a Grisly Salvage variant in the first three turns of the game, and once you’ve got your 8/8 beatstick, you can pump him up with Voltron enablers like Inquisitor’s Flail, Glistening Oil, etc. I’d also run cards that draw tons of cards off of big boys, such as Hunter’s Insight, Hunter’s Prowess, Rishkar’s Expertise, etc.

This was explicitly designed so that you could play all the crew members of the Weatherlight in one deck and then tutor them out every game, and although that build is super flavorful, I don’t think it’s going to be very strong (and I’m sure it’s not the most powerful thing you can do with her).

The build I’ve been messing around with uses a ton of legendary permanents that cantrip or scry (such as Fblthp, Oath of Nissa, Oath of Jace, Search for Azcanta, Growing Rites of Itlimoc, etc.), as well as legendary permanents that accelerate you, such as the Radhas, Rishkar, Neheb, Dreadhorde Champion, and Azusa, Lost but Seeking. Of the latter category, one of the most important cards is Selvala, Heart of the Wilds, which scales with Sisay to generate enough mana in the right colors to activate her.

Generally, I think the play pattern is going to involve spending the first three or four turns casting your legends that offer card draw, card selection, or acceleration. Then you’ll cast Sisay and basically pray that she lasts until your untap step. Once that happens, you pass with WUBRG up. If somebody tries to mess with her, you can grab Saffi and save her. If not, you can grab Selvala, and if nobody kills Selvala before you untap, you get to really go off. By this point, Sisay should be a 6/6 or so, so you can activate Selvala for six mana and use Sisay to grab Paradox Engine. Then all you have to do is cast a spell and Selvala untaps. Then you can activate Sisay again to grab Rishkar, who will buff Sisay and another creature and provide the green mana needed to repeatedly activate Selvala.

Then you cast another spell, untap Selvala, and you can activate Sisay again, who will now be large enough to grab Bolas’s Citadel (thanks to Rishkar’s counter). From there, you can cast cards off the top of your library to net mana with Selvala, and if you ever get landlocked, you can activate Sisay to shuffle it away. You can also search out legends like Azusa or Erebos to help clear lands off the top of your library so you can continue to combo off with the Citadel. The win condition isn’t super clear at this point, but I’m guessing once you cast most of your deck you can find a way to kill your opponents.

Note that while this all sounds very powerful, there are a bunch of moments where your opponents can jump in with spot removal to ruin your plans. Try to play around removal accordingly and limit the amount of time Sisay is on the battlefield but not actively comboing off.

Sisay, Weatherlight Captain

Although it doesn’t work as a universal tribal commander, Morophon does build into a unique deck. If you run 50 or so creatures of the same type and use Morophon to make it so that all of those creatures cost zero, then you just need a draw engine like Guardian Project, Beast Whisperer, Vanquisher’s Banner, Kindred Discovery, or Glimpse of Nature to draw through your deck and combo out.

Humans have more than three times as many Morophon-compliant members (meaning their cost is reduced to zero by Morophon) as the next best type, which means that you get more Humans that are also Wizards (17), more Humans that are Legendary (16), more Blue Humans (26), more multicolor Humans (43) and more Humans that have two or more power (47).

“Why are those characteristics relevant?” you ask. Well, having a large number of Human Wizards allows you to use Azami, Lady of Scrolls as an additional draw engine. Having a lot of Human legends allows you to use Reki, the History of Kamigawa. Having lots of Blue Humans turns on Dire Undercurrents. Multicolor Humans trigger Tome of the Guildpact. Finally, having lots of humans with two or more power means you actually have lots of humans with three or more power, thanks to Morophon’s buff. This allows you to make use of Elemental Bond and Garruk’s Packleader to keep the combo going.

All this means that you’re waaay less likely to fizzle if you’re running Humans compared to any other creature type, as you have access to more draw engines because of your deep card pool. Once you have one draw engine, you’re likely to keep going long enough to assemble a pretty large board state. Once you have two engines, you’re likely to cast your entire deck.

I’ve built a rough list that goldfishes pretty well. Be warned, however, that if your opponent has spot removal open the turn you cast Morophon, you’re going to have a bad time. If they don’t, you’ve got a good shot at winning.

Morophon Humans

Slivers have often had trouble dealing with board wipes (as have most nontoken, non-Voltron aggro strategies), so I like that they’ve been printing Sliver commanders to address this problem. Hivelord was a good attempt, but what tended to happen was that people would find a way to remove it and then wipe the rest of your Slivers. The First Sliver may be more effective because it turns every Sliver into many Slivers, so you can build an army while still sandbagging a bunch of cards in your hand.

The Maindeck Cards of Modern Horizons

In this set review, I’ll be using two five-point rating scales to evaluate the nonlegendary cards, one that measures how many decks a card is playable in (we’ll call that “spread”), and one that measures how powerful it is in those decks (”power”). Here’s a brief rundown of what each rank on the two scales means:

Spread

1: This card is effective in one or two decks, but no more (ex: The Gitrog Monster).

2: This card is effective in one deck archetype (ex: self-mill decks).

3: A lot of decks will be able to use this card effectively (ex: decks with graveyard interactions).

4: This card is effective in most decks in this color.

5: Every deck in this color is able to use this card effectively.

Power

1: This card is always going to be on the chopping block.

2: This card is unlikely to consistently perform well.

3: This card provides good utility but is not a powerhouse.

4: This card is good enough to push you ahead of your opponents.

5: This card has a huge impact on the game.

Spread: 1

Power: 2

As one of the rare Angel token generators, this will probably find a home in Lyra Dawnbringer. In other decks, the +1 is mostly a blank, the -3 is not super powerful, and the emblem puts you close enough to dead that the right removal will still finish the job.

Spread: 1

Power: 2

The deck that runs this wants both a huge number of cycling cards (more than the 10 or so that you can sneak in via cycling lands and staple effects like Cast Out) and a bunch of ETB creatures. I’m not sure that deck currently exists (and if the EDHREC stats for Astral Slide are an indicator, it doesn’t).

Spread: 2

Power: 2

I’d consider running this alongside commanders with really powerful ETB triggers, such as Azor, Tazri, Lavinia 1.0, Lena, Nazahn, and Niv-Mizzet 4.0.

Spread: 5

Power: 3

We’ve stated before on the podcast that White should have good removal like this (I think we may have floated the suggesting of a Banishing Light with flash), but Wizards hasn’t gotten around to printing a critical mass of the staple effects it has access to. I’m glad to see that Wizards is working to address the imbalance and I hope that we start to see some of White’s other gaps being filled in (such as a third good instant-speed creature removal spell or a second good Disenchant).

Anyway, the vast majority of White decks are going to want this card. Beast Within sees play in 30,000 decks on EDHREC and Chaos Warp sees play in 20,000.

Spread: 3

Power: 1

The ability to protect itself is what made Mother of Runes such a champ; it invalidated spot removal (and other effects) unless you were willing to cast a board wipe or spend multiple spells on Mom. In contrast, this card is much easier to deal with and so it’s not going to see nearly as much play.

Spread: 1

Power: 2

Reaper King will happily trade one of its more expensive Scarecrow for a 2-mana Vindicate, and this may see play in Arahbo since it attacks for six on turn 3. I’m not sure there are other White tribal decks that would be satisfied with a vanilla 3/1, however.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

4 mana is a bit much for a single changeling, but for two, it’s a bargain. Getting double Reaper King triggers seems great and it’s 3 vampires for Edgar Markov. It’s worth noting that 29% of Ally decks on EDHREC run Allied Reinforcements, and this is essentially the same card. Similarly, 43% of Knight decks run Call the Cavalry and 38% run Gallant Cavalry.

Spread: 1

Power: 3

I’ve often said that anthem effects need to be at least +2 power to be worth a deck slot in Commander because of the high life totals and multiple opponents. This guy clears that bar and should be a great addition to go-wide Cat decks like Kemba, Kha Regent and Raksha Golden Cub.

Spread: 2

Power: 1

Journey to Nowhere hasn’t seen much play and requiring snow lands restricts you to color identities that can afford to run lots of basics. However, this effect is cheaper than we normally get (with the exception of Chained to the Rocks), and being an Aura makes it relevant for Sram decks.

Spread: 1

Power: 4

This seems very good in Teshar, Ancestor’s Apostle, as you can use it to tutor out a 0-mana artifact creature and sacrifice it to keep your opponents from interacting with you for the turn. Then you cast your 0-mana robot to reanimate him (thanks to Teshar’s ability), and then search out another 0-mana robot. Sacrifice him again, reanimate him again, and then tutor out Glint Hawk. At that point, you have infinite sac fodder, as you can sac Glint Hawk to an Altar of Dementia or whatever, reanimate it by casting Memnite, and then Glint Hawk picks up your Ornithopter when it enters the battlefield. Then Memnite resolves and you’re essentially back where you started, except your opponent has milled a few cards. Continue until your opponents are dead.

Spread: 4

Power: 2

This is much closer to Lignify than it is to Darksteel Mutation, and it’s worse off for it. Not making the creature immune to most removal spells means it’ll be pretty easy for its controller to unlock it and go back to playing as normal.

Spread: 1

Power: 2

Some tribal commanders grant a reward that’s so powerful that you don’t care about any text on your creatures except the type line and the mana cost (ex: Reaper King). In those decks, cheap Changelings often outclass real members of the tribe. Because those decks are already running large numbers of Changelings, Valiant Changeling will often cost only two mana, making him one of the cheap changelings your deck needs.

Be aware that you need a critical mass of changelings for this to work, which might not be possible in restrictive color identities.

Spread: 2

Power: 1

I don’t think this is running as a narrow one-shot reanimation spell, but the combo potential is interesting.

It’s notable for going infinite with a Clone variant and a sacrifice outlet. Just copy Vesper and then sacrifice the copy, and the Clone will be in the graveyard in time to get brought back by its leaves the battlefield trigger. Repeat for infinite of whatever resource your sac outlet generates.

I’ve been tinkering with a Blue/White clone combo list for a while and this is the perfect addition to the deck.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

I really like that they’re printing cards that reward you for playing a monocolor deck. I was initially low on this card because three is a lot of mana to hold up for a counterspell (I usually stick to counters that cost 2 or less), but this does offer a lot of versatility and the options of snagging a Sol Ring/Mana Crypt or digging for an answer makes up for the mana cost.

Spread: 2

Power: 4

Decks built around Wheel effects (such as Niv-Mizzets 1.0 and 3.0, The Locust God, Nekusar, and Urza, Lord High Artificer) are going to love this card, especially because it interacts really well with other Wheel effects (provided they’re discard wheels and not shuffling wheels).

Spread: 1

Power: 2

It’s one of the best Flying Men variants ever printed for Edric.

Spread: 4

Power: 3

I love Negate, and the option to tap out and still hold up one of the format’s best answers seems very powerful. I’d happily run this card.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

This card is essentially landfall - scry 1 in a deck with a lot of snow basics. Retreat to Coralhelm doesn’t see a whole lot of play, and that has an untap effect stapled onto it. I’m also not crazy about the token, as the nature of the sacrifice trigger prevents you from cheating it out very early, and if your group can’t muster an answer to Marit Lage by turn 10ish, they deserve to die to it.

As a random scry effect, it might be worth running in the Circu Citadel Combo list I’ve talked about.

Spread: 2

Power: 3-4

The Mirran half seems great in Urza, Lord High Artificer as a way to double your mana production and create an army that will eventually win you the game.

I would use it for the Phyrexian half in artifact-centric lists with a self-mill component, such as Sharuum, Hanna, Ship’s Navigator, and Silas Renn.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

A Ninja that makes more Ninja is great for Yuriko, and I’ve also heard people talking about using it in Tetsuko Umezawa because it’s a 1-toughness creature with a solid saboteur effect.

Spread: 1

Power: 3

These are good in Yuriko and nowhere else. I like how the monoblue ones enable ninjutsu.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

I think most of the power of this card is in the body, which is not what you want to see on an ETB creature. That being said, Naban is in need of more monoblue ETB wizards and less competitive Inalla and Brago lists won’t turn up their noses at this.

Spread: 4

Power: 3

No matter what you’re trying to do, there’s a 2 CMC artifact that will help you. A short list of sweet targets for this guy:

Lightning Greaves, Null Rod, Mask of Memory, Strionic Resonator (y’know, for Brago), Winter Orb, Altar of Dementia, Scroll Rack, Grim Monolith, Konda’s Banner, and one day, Painter’s Servant.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

This could potentially be a useful sac outlet in Shirei, Shizo's Caretaker decks, although it is very slow.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

Kolaghan 1.0, Yuriko, Reaper King, and Beckett Brass provide really powerful rewards for committing to their tribe, so cheap members tend to get prioritized over more expensive cards because the power to mana ratio is inflated. Changeling Outcast is perfect for decks like these.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

I’m reading this as a cheaper Mutilate that can occasionally work in 2-color decks. I think the basic count in 3+ colors might be too low for this to be consistently good. This is probably the third-best board wipe in monoblack, after Damnation and Toxic Deluge.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

I really like the idea of running this card alongside Frenetic Sliver so that if someone casts a board wipe, you can flip a bunch of coins with Frenetic Sliver and save about half your slivers. Then on your next turn you can use Dregscape Sliver to return all the Slivers that lost the flip, then use Frenetic Sliver on those unearthed slivers before the end step to save about half of them (because Frenetic Sliver exiles the slivers, you’re fulfilling the requirements of unearth and you still get to bring them back). So any board wipe only actually kills 25% of your Slivers, on average.

This might be a little too hard to put together outside of Sliver Overlord, and it’s hard to evaluate how good Dregscape on his own. I would suggest testing him because he is one of the more interesting slivers and he does help with one of the deck’s biggest weaknesses.

Spread: 4

Power: 2

The power of these alternate cost spells is dependent on the value of the effect you’re getting. Considering that Snuff Out, Vendetta, and Dismember exist, holding Black removal up on an opponents turn is not very difficult, so this card isn’t especially necessary. I also wouldn’t expect to net a ton of card advantage relative to another spot removal spell, since most of the time you’re killing stuff on an opponent’s turn, it’s because of a single creature that’s got you worried.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

The high-powered tribal decks don’t have a lot of room for a 4-mana 2/2, but the promise of another member of the tribe can add some value to an otherwise bad deal, much like Irregular Cohort. I would try to find room for this in Reaper King.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

I would run this as protection against board wipes in Varina, Lich Queen. It also seems pretty good in decks with lots of Zombies and easy access to sac outlets, such as Ghoulcaller Gisa and some Grimgrin builds.

Spread: 1

Power: 3

This is both a cantrip and a win condition for Feather, the Redeemed so she should be happy to run this over a slowtrip or a 2-mana cantrip that doesn’t net you anything useful. Zada will also gladly find room for this card.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

It’s both a tutor and a recursion engine. Any Red-based artifact deck should be running this card.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

Red-based token decks (Zada, Purphoros, Krenko, Mob Boss, Marton Stromgald) won’t turn up their nose at three bodies for four mana. It’s not the best rate, but until we get some redundancy for Hordeling Outburst, it’s decent filler.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

Slivers that draw cards are relatively rare, so this one is worth paying attention to. I like that he gives you a way to dig through your deck for your most important slivers (potentially helping you cheat mana costs with Dregscape Sliver).

Spread: 1

Power: 2

Most planeswalkers don’t have abilities that are so powerful you only need to activate them once and the premier commander for superfriends is not Red. I don’t think this is a Commander card.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

The potential three bodies for three mana makes this appealing to Red token decks like Zada and Purphoros, and the ability to dig you out of a bad hand is a nice bonus.

Spread: 3

Power: 3

I feel like it’s probably correct to run this card. The sorcery speed prevents it from being a great answer to combos, but that never stopped Vandalblast or Shattering Spree. I especially like that you can discard it to Red’s many draw smoothers (e.g., Tormenting Voice, Cathartic Reunion, Faithless Looting, Wild Guess) when it’s not good and then get it back once it’s relevant again. I also love the idea of running this in lists with a self-mill component.

Spread: 3

Power: 4

This card completely negates the danger of flooding out. It also has powerful synergy with Crucible of Worlds, Life from the Loam, Ramunap Excavator, Rings of Brighthearth, Dakmor Salvage, Splendid Reclamation, and many, many more cards. Plus, if it’s ever not good, you can easily cycle it away, so there’s very little risk to running it in your deck.

It’s good in many places, but it’s especially good in the following decks:

Lord Windgrace: Runs pretty much every card mentioned above and he can recur the lands you cycle.

Neheb, the Eternal: This deck always have tons of mana but has trouble finding gas. Tectonic Reformation will make it a lot easier to find ways to spend your huge spurts of mana.

Grand Warlord Radha: Also pretty good at generating mana.

The Locust God: 1 mana to get a locust is a pretty decent rate, and it’ll help you dig to stronger draw spells. May also be good in Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind and Niv-Mizzet, Parun decks.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

This card can singlehandedly dig Red out of a manaflooded game and in the games you don’t need it, you can pitch it to one of Red’s many cheap rummaging spells. I would happily run this in any monored or Red/White list.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

Ayula will definitely want this, Lord Windgrace will be indifferent, and The Gitrog Monster will be very excited. Most of the discard outlets that Gitrog runs as part of the Dakmor Salvage combo don’t actually net you anything useful (see Noose Constrictor, Wild Mongrel), so having one that generates an army is a huge boon for the deck.

Spread: 3

Power: 3

Can be found consistently thanks to Green’s many creature tutors, and does a great job of shutting down decks that rely heavily on artifacts.

Spread: 3

Power: 3

Five bodies and 9 power is a great rate for 5 mana. I’d happily run this in any Green token deck.

Spread: 4

Power: 2

I don’t think Return to Dust is as good as it used to be. It’s great that this will never be worse than a two for two, but I would still rather run a Nature’s Claim or Return to Nature over this card. (There’s something to be said for the “free” aspect of these cards though, and this one can just stop combo like the blue one, so that might be worth it in some play groups for the peace of mind)

Spread: 1

Power: 2

Thanks to @follower-of-liliana for pointing this one out. Sasaya, Orochi Ascendant decks running snow Forests can use this to up their number of lands in hand.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

I’ve been a big fan of Somberwald Sage and this is mostly an upgrade in monogreen lists. It seems especially good in Ghalta; this, a 1/1 mana dork, and 4 lands are all you need to get Ghalta down on turn 4.

Spread: 1

Power: 3

Both Selvala, Heart of the Wilds and Marwyn the Nurturer add mana based on your creatures’ power, so upping your commander’s power by 4 or 5 is a solid deal for 1 mana, especially if you’re trying to combo off with Umbral Mantle or Staff of Domination. Note that this boosts base power and toughness, which means that it stacks with Marwyn’s +1/+1 counters and pump spells.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

This effect is comparable to frequently-played cards like Wood Elves (16k decks on EDHREC) and Farhaven Elf (9k decks on EDHREC), but I think this effect is slowly becoming less goodstuff and more of a card for Elf/Druid tribal. I think the format has been shifting toward cheaper accelerants like mana rocks and mana dorks and away from three-mana rampant growths.

Anyway, it’s pretty safe to toss this guy in Ezuri and Seton, Krosan Protector.

Spread: 1

Power: 2

Gorm the Great and Kynaios and Tiro of Meletis (and Ikra Shidiqi, sort of) have huge asses relative to their mana cost, and might be interested in trying for big butt voltron. They are on color for Assault Formation, and Kynaios and Tiro also gets High Alert, uncommon Huatli, and Arcades, the Strategist. Speaking of Arcades, this protects him and turns him into a 3-turn clock if you’re using him as your commander.

Spread: 1

Power: 2

These cards may not be great, but they’re significantly better than most spiders, which means you get to increase the quality of your Ishkanah deck (or your Morophon spider deck, I guess).

Spread: 2

Power: 4

I would definitely run this in Kruphix and Rosheen Meanderer, and I’ve also heard of people using Wort, the Raidmother as an X-spell commander.

Spread: 1

Power: 2

This is exactly the sort of card that Hogaak is looking for.

Spread: 2

Power: 1

Throughout spoiler season, I’ve been stressing that vanilla changelings can be quite good if the tribal reward is strong enough. This card seems to have been created to test where the threshold between playability and unplayability lies. Making a 3/3 scarecrow and vindicating at instant speed is still quite strong in Reaper King, but the rate is so abominably bad that I’m not sure it’s worth it (though I do concede that it is better than both Volrath’s Laboratory and Riptide Replicator). I wish they had bumped this up to rare so they could put some more power into it, as cutting a single mana off the casting cost and activation would drastically increase the number of decks for which this would see play without making the card broken.

Spread: 1

Power: 2

There are 8 Scarecrows, 10 changelings, a robot that pretends to be a Scarecrow while distributing counters, and a land with all creature types that cost 2 or less mana; the Farmstead is not beating them out for a slot in Reaper King (unless you’re a scarecrow purist). Compared to the 3-drops, it’s definitely worse than Mirror Entity, Taurean Mauler, Adaptive Automaton, Scarecrone, Scuttlemutt, and Wild-Field Scarecrow. Other must-run Scarecrows include Irregular Cohort, Graveshifter, and Valiant Changeling (the latter because he’s essentially a 2-drop). That’s 29 Scarecrows that you’re putting in Reaper King before you get to this guy. So how many Scarecrows should you be running?

I haven’t played Reaper King so I can’t speak to the optimal number, but the average Reaper King deck on EDHREC is running 30 scarecrows. That leaves one scarecrow slot open, and the remaining three-drop scarecrows are roughly equivalent in power level. So, I’d run this guy because his art looks cool. Hope that helps.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

I would run this guy solely to grab Scrap Trawler, as it sets up a sweet value engine where every artifact you sacrifice gets you another artifact and a Construct. You can even tutor out Constructs with death triggers like Treasure Keeper and Workshop Assistant for additional value. The fun never ends!

Be aware that the levels of durdling I’m describing are only feasible in color identities for whom traditional routes to card advantage and tutoring have been barred; I’m thinking of monobrown, monored, monowhite, and red/white.

Spread: 3

Power: 3

When I saw Sword of Truth and Justice I had hoped that the other allied color swords were intended to support specific decks. Unfortunately, this one is more generally powerful and can fit pretty easily in any deck with a cheap commander.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

This is a great proliferate engine and should see plenty of play in Infect decks and +1/+1 counter aggro.

Spread: 3

Power: 2

The green ones are less good since that color has access to better ramp/fixing, but the rest are all solid mana rocks.

I would usually run these in addition to the signets. If I was cramped for space, then signets are generally better, but if I needed to sneak sources of colorless mana into my deck (say, to power an Eldrazi Displacer), then I’d prioritize the Talismans over the Signets.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

This guy is the best changeling because he can fit into any tribal deck and he’s super cheap, so Reaper King, Yuriko, Kolaghan 1.0, and Unesh are all going to be interested in running him.

Spread: 1

Power: 2

Quick summary of all the characteristics a deck needs to make use of this card:

Must be a tribal deck

Must be in B/W

Must have lots of sac fodder

Must have a commander that really needs protecting

Maybe Aryel, Knight of Windgrace would be a good fit?

Spread: 1

Power: 3

I don’t think Varina, Lich Queen is very interested because it competes with her on four and she wants to keep her curve lower than this. Still, he’s an easy fit for Yuriko.

Spread: 1

Power: 3

I don’t think it’s good enough for +1/+1 counter decks, since it’s a terrible topdeck. If this card makes an impact in Commander, it’s going to be as a cheap combo piece for Ghave.

Spread: 1

Power: 1

Baleful Strix sees a decent amount of play (7800 decks on EDHREC), but a fair portion of that is in artifact decks, and the Strix’s deathtouch is more reliable than this guy’s. I’d also argue that not all of the decks running Strix should be doing so, but that’s a topic for another episode. I feel comfortable recommending Strix in maybe Rashmi, since it has flash and generates value. If you’re still trying to make Kaseto snake tribal work, I would run it in there as well.’

Spread: 3

Power: 2

I prefer my pinpoint removal kill exactly what I need it to kill, rather than generating random value. Between Anguished Unmaking, Despark, Generous Gift, and all the great monowhite and monoblack spot removal spells, this card is not going to be able to compete, even with that sweet graveyard hate rider. If the first mode was Murder I would probably play it, though.

Also modes 3 and 4 are blanks and I’d only entwine if I was horribly flooded or had infinite mana.

Spread: 1

Power: 3

Volley Veteran underperformed but cutting its mana cost in half and granting it flash basically makes it a Terminate, although it’s a shame that there’s only one Goblin deck in the format that can make use of this guy (Wort, Boggart Auntie). On the bright side, Wort can really make use of this guy, as he has to be one of the best goblins to repeatedly recur with her ability.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

At first I wondered if there were any good ways to consistently prune your graveyard so only the good stuff was left, but then I realized it didn’t matter if you got everything back by pumping a ton of mana into it with Rosheen or copying it with Riku or Wort 2.0.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

It’s a cheaper Conjurer’s Closet for your blink decks.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

It’s a cheap Scarecrow for Reaper King, and although most of the cheap changelings we’ve seen so far haven’t been good enough for Najeela (as there are so many real warriors that offer useful abilities), I think the protection offered by this guy pushes him into playability for that deck.

It also ticks a bunch of boxes for the Morophon Human Combo list I mentioned above, as it’s a Wizard for Azami, it’s a blue creature for Dire Undercurrents, it has 2 power, and it’s free when Morophon’s out.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

I like this card a lot but it doesn’t do a great job of protecting itself; if I’m going to devote deck slots to land recursion, I’d prefer to use cards like Crucible of Worlds and Life from the Loam that can’t get attacked to death.

Spread: 5

Power: 3

These are all good, the Green ones a little more so because of Ramunap Excavator and Life from the Loam. The Red/White land is also a little better than the Black/White and Blue Red ones because it’s in a color identity starved for card draw.

Spread: 2

Power: 2

Snow mana is a big commitment, as it limits you to one or two colors. Being an artifact makes it relevant to Arcum Dagsson decks and being a creature while on the battlefield but not while in your library makes it relevant to Jalira decks. I’ll also see if I can squeeze in enough snow lands to make it playable in my Depala list that’s all Vehicles, board wipes, and manlands to crew the vehicles.

Spread: 2

Power: 3

Using this to repeatedly wipe the board with Phyrexian Scriptures or Pernicious Deed seems great, and if it’s your fateful hour, you can take infinite turns with Second Chance. There also a few more self-sacrificing enchantments that serve as spot removal, such as Seal of Primordium, Seal of Cleansing, Aura of Silence, and Seal of Doom.

You can also use it alongside one of the many good sacrifice outlets for creatures in order to reuse enchantment creatures with good Constellation triggers, such as Thoughtrender Lamia, Doomwake Giant, or Eidolon of Blossoms.

In contrast to these proactive uses, it can also be used defensively to reuse powerful enchantment value engines like Aura Shards, Rhystic Study, Spreading Plague, etc.

Spread: 4

Power: 3

It’s a strict upgrade over Terramorphic Expanse (60,000 decks on EDHREC) and Evolving Wilds (75,000 decks on EDHREC). I wouldn’t run it in 5C or 4C, but I can’t think of a reason not to run it in a two- or three-color deck. It’s notable that this brings the fetch count to 7 for monocolor decks, 10 for 2-color decks, 12 for three-color decks, and 10 for four- and five-color decks, which means that any multicolor deck in the format has access to a critical mass of fetches (hypergeometric calculator says you’ve got a greater than ⅔ chance of drawing a fetch by turn 3 if you’ve got at least 10 in your deck. I would expect more 2- and 3-color decks to take advantage of the fetch + Crucible of Worlds engine with the advent of Vista, and more monocolor decks may take the plunge, as well (especially if they’re already running cycling lands, Strip Mine, Wasteland, and/or Tectonic Edge).

Thanks for reading!

Let me know if a reblog or message if you disagree with any of my ratings or if you think there are Commander-relevant cards that I missed.

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#set review #edh #commander #mtg #magic the gathering

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sepiadice · 4 years

Text

DiceJar Campaign 0.2: ‘It sticks its nonexistent tongue out at you.’ (2020/01/31)

Shorter session this week, and also down a NavyDie due to work and him being a boring adult.

The section of the module I had prepared has four combat encounters, only one I could reasonably cut. I was trying to think of some way to abstract one down, since even two combats is a stretch.

Fortunately, we only got through half of the material I planned, so the third can be saved next time, with only one other fight left on the current floor (and I might be able to cut that one).

I also felt a lot less stressed this time. Players taking an active interest in when the session was happening, actually getting a second session, and having notes prepared put me in a better mindset. So that's a good thing to know about myself!

Probably need to come up with a team name. Probably should ask the players to devise one.

Cast

Mogui (IndigoDie): Druid. Sponsored by Lord Grey to go on this rite of passage. Indigo is an old pal from High School. Yot (LimeDie): Cleric. Mercenary that finds himself in Kassen often. Lime is a newer pal from an Improv Club. Delilah Dunford (VermilionDie): Rogue. Daughter of nobles, volunteered for this mission by her butler. Vermilion is someone I knew during high school, but the age of our pal-ness is vaguely defined. Bernard 'Bean' Dipp (NavyDie): Ranger(?). Young man forced to grow up quickly in light of his father's affliction. Navy is an Improv pal, and was also absent this session. Game Master (SepiaDie/me): Environment (mostly skeletons). Dungeon is a crypt where something spooky might be happening. Sepia is me, and thus probably my greatest enemy.

Session Two

I opened with two quick prose bits that Lime described as ‘Loading Screen’ text. Which is accurate, I suppose. Both were from travel guides, one formal, the other what I intend to be my Hitchhiker’s guide. It’s a fun narrative device I picked up from Dice Friends[1]: in-setting exposition and world building.

The party starts where they left off: standing outside the crypt, looking at some dead horses.

Delilah investigates the saddlebags, identifying the maker mark of the town leather worker, Mr. Shepherd, a pleasant if quiet elf man.[2] The bags contain blunt arrows, travel rations, and two pillows. Curious.

The party enters the dungeon proper, and I have to actually use the Roll20 application for more than doodling[3] and tracking relative locations.

In the first room is two fresh corpses, two heavily broken skeletons, and six less-broken skeletons.

The fresh bodies are two friends of Kassen’s mayor. What a tragedy. Why are they here, though?

Six skeletons rise up to fight the interlopers. Combat begins!

I think the fight went well. Three players kept a fair clip as compared to, say, seven to eight. Six skeletons focused on just attacking whoever is closest or draws their aggression. The skeletons have low health, so they were dispatched quickly. As a GM, the fight didn't feel like it dragged.

Skeletons now rendered dead, again, our heroes are now able to take a breath and take in the scene. A mural of Kassen driving off a horde of enemies decorates the opposite wall,[4] a reasonable amount of dust coats the various surfaces, and a wailing echoes through the hallowed halls.

I failed to indicate the direction the wailing was coming from (the southeast exit), so the party elected to do the logical thing and go through the northwest door.

This room held a pool of water, fed by a fountain depicting a woman crying over a dying Kassen. Kassen’s head had worn off, however, a detail to concern the players with its possible meaning.

A voice Booms ‘Magic is the Key’.

At the bottom of the forty foot deep pool lays hundreds of keys. A tough, complicated puzzle to…

Yot cast light on a pebble, dove in, and cast Detect Magic.[5] One of the keys is radiating magic. The module didn’t say what type of magic it was, so I just shrugged at clarifying questions and admitted it didn’t really matter.[6]

The key unlocks one of the doors in the room, which leads to a hall flanked on either side by statues of Kassen holding swords. The utter dedication to this one guy is starting to get a little silly. Surely there were other members of his mercenary band that… might deserve…

Anyways, ignoring the fun change to the narrative I could make,[7] the party progresses and accidentally steps on a pressure plate, which drops the swords onto… mostly just Delilah, who was leading the way, the other two standing in the gaps between the statues.[8] Luckily, the trap has to be manually reset, so they can just use acrobatics checks to pass now that the swords are down.

Next room: multilevel chamber, with a giant statue standing before them, holding two shields, one reading ‘Home’ and the other ‘Family’.

And yes, the statue is of Kassen. So much Kassen decoration. So many tax dollars wasted on glorifying a founder in a location most people would never visit, with the Mayor being the only one confirmed to visit more than once in his life. They could’ve used the upkeep costs on fixing potholes, or making a park, or expanding Kassen.

The nice thing about being a Game Master is you can address such fridge logic.

Mogui descends the stairs to the lower level first, activating a wood golem! It steps off a pressure plate, which turns the stairs into a slope.

Initiative is rolled, and the wooden golem crits on Mogui, knocking him into death save territory. Whoops.

Yot follows him down, slipping on the slope and landing prone. Delilah prepares a rope down before shooting the enemy with her bow. Critical failure. She throws herself off balance and slides down to the lower level.[9]

Yot attempts to battle the wood golem, ignoring his companion rolling dice to not die right next to him. Meanwhile, Delilah climbs onto the wood golem in a sneak attack. While up there, she spots an odd keyhole on the back of its neck.

Luckily, she just happened to have a magic key. Which she uses to turn off the boss fight, causing it to move back to its podium and restore the stairs to a usable state.

Mogui is also healed to standing.

Were it not for the golem scoring two (2!) critical hits on my players, I’d say it was a pretty good fight design. The room had levels, lending interesting positioning options, the puzzle of the staircase-to-ramp mechanism, and despite the golem having high hit points for the player’s level, it also had a discoverable ‘off switch’ to give more of a puzzler solution. Fights are better when designed as puzzles instead of a series of dice rolls.

Puzzle design can be hard, though. However, combat might also be a case of a little work going a long way to just make the mechanical showcase more interesting.

This session held one straight fight, a puzzle, then a puzzle-fight. It felt like a good session composition, though it would have been nice to have some role-playing.

Oh wait. I’m in charge here.

The party takes a moment to take a breath. They decide they need a break. Their GM sits, knowing the door they’re standing right next to goes to the prize room. They just need to… go in…

Instead, the party backtracks to the fountain-and-keys room for a short rest.

Maybe I’m not as in charge here as I’d hoped.

As players start asking for an end of the session, I play the ‘We’re so close to a big moment’ card, and gently tell them to go through that door.

Now, the module as written has the party enter the room to find a masterwork weapon[10] or other item, and a potion for each party member, and a note saying how proud their families are. A gift from the community for their new adults. Nice, but lacks a certain punch.

So, I give them their potions and non-masterwork items. Because usable loot is good to have. But you know what’s rarely utilized? Trinkets! Things with no mechanical value at all!

So Mogui, whose player I workshopped with for this specific moment,[11] found a Family Tree prepared for him by his employer, Lord Grey. I also took the note of pride and turned it into a letter from Lord Grey. Then I made Indigo tell me what the letter says.[12] Mogui was sent to work for Lord Grey in exchange for his family receiving a noble title, and this family tree was the needed evidence for his family to claim their title. The letter essentially thanked him for his service and Lord Grey’s pride in having him.

Next was Yot. He didn’t have family in town, so how do I work him into this? Well, honorary adoption, of course. The widows and mothers of Kassen have knitted him winter clothes like a hat, socks, and gloves.[13] The starter I gave for his letter was small notes from the community thanking him for his help. When I turned Lime loose, he wanted to add indictments from loved ones he let die in the field. And, as important as it is for a GM not to invalidate player choices, it’s important for the GM and player to workshop. Because such things wouldn’t have reasonably gotten on that table, instead I suggested that they were forgivenesses for those deaths, which Yot nevertheless took hard.

The final present party member, Delilah, received two gold coins from her parents and a bag of her favorite sweets from her butler. I just dictated the parent’s letter as them just giving her her allowance, not fully understanding what their daughter volunteered for. Her butler’s letter, however, I let Vermilion handle. She turned it into an apology for fibbing about how involved her parents were in allowing her to join this rite of passage mission, but he is proud of her, and hopes she enjoys the candy.

For Bean, who was following behind but was likely too scared to be of any help this session,[15] there was a hand carved figurine of a dog, made by his father, as well as a letter from the same. I’ll have Navy get his fair moment to do his letter.[16]

Thus ends the session.

I felt more confident leading this session, and the actual contents felt meatier than just travelling to the crypt. I’ve started adding my own material, and no one’s told me they’re unsatisfied,[17] so let’s call it a successful session!

Actually combatting my nature and making a point-by-point break down on what happens in each room and how it works went a long way to keeping me confident and cool. I don’t need to impress anyone. And I put in good work.

I was especially proud of the trinkets. I feel like the players engaged with them, it provided a chance to trick the players into exposition, and it was a role-playing moment. Every session is better when you write open ended chances to role-play.

The actual walking through the dungeon and traps still needs work, though. Certain traps activate when a player steps on a certain space, and I’m still struggling with how to perform trapfinding checks without making everyone cautious. Making players check every space with a check would get tedious, doing a check behind my screen on behalf of a player feels blasphemous as players should roll their own dice, and just having them doing it once they enter the room just feels narratively disconnected. I’ll need to think on that hall with swords and statues.

Also figure out what happened to fountain Kassen’s head.

And on why there’s just… so much Kassen around the place.

Anyways, I had fun with it. The session got a puzzle and a half, a combat and a half, skill checks, and roleplaying! Getting better as a GM! I feel it!

Now to achieve a session good enough it fills my players to yearn to talk to me about it outside of the session! The after session decompression and discussion was always my favorite times during the high school games.

I have a patreon and ko-fi if you wish to support me. Financial support will set me on my path to an actual play show and making a living writing and creating.

Until next time, may your dice make things interesting.[19]

[1]Specifically Kathleen DeVere’s Bylaws and Order and Cameron Lauder’s After the Flood campaigns. I look forward to having a go-to newspaper to reference like Kathleen’s. [2] I don't recall if I ever gave Trix's father a first name, but this is he. Trix is in Kassen somewhere. [3] Advice: maintain a separate page to play around with. Wards away graffiti on the actual map, and gives you a landing page to transition into the game time mindspace. [4] Presumably in a similar manner to Martin the Warrior's tapestry. [5] Which he probably shouldn’t be able to do while holding his breath, but also making him get out, cast the spell, then dive back in is nitpicking. [6] Yot can worry about getting cancer from diving into a reactor cooler later. [7] Unless, in the incredibly likely event I just forget, I don’t implement this. [8] Should’ve alternated the placement of statues so every square has one. So everyone has an equal chance at pain. [9] Is it possible that the party is just so bad with declines that I can retroactively justify messing up on the hill during session one? Maybe. Maybe. [10] Non-existent in Fifth Edition. [11] I couldn’t come up with an obvious prize, so I just asked. Benefit of experience playing with the guy and trust that he won’t cheat. [12] I would’ve made Navy go first were he there, since Navy has both my trust and improv experience to set a good example. [13] Ms. Shepherd didn’t finish her scarf in time, since it took a bit to source the wool from her family’s flock.[14] [14] I really need to play Trix again… [15] Navy can get final say on justification. [16] The ideal sequence would’ve been experienced improv person who’s trinket I’m confident in, then the player who I had dictate his trinket, then the improv player with the shakier trinket, then the player who I’m new to playing with. Turns out that last one knocked it out of the park, which is affirming. [17] Outside one player’s continuing dislike of D&D. I’ll probably do GURPS for the next one. Unless I need to punish everyone. In which case, Maid RPG.[18] [18] Actually, on a serious note, if you can look past the… tone and anime-ness of everything else, Maid RPG has a mechanic that would be a great tool to understand the shut-downs of Autustic Students. If there was literally any way I could pitch that to my higher-ups at work. [19] Confession: still not completely sold on this sign-off, but Kataal kataal isn’t for this context.

#SepiaDieGMs #crypt of the everflame #Dungeons and Dragons #Fifth Edition #NavyDice #IndigoDice #limedice #VermillionDice

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royaltealovingkookiness · 5 years

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30 Days of Zutara - Day 21: Costume Party

She helps him slide on the red tunic, the silk is cool and smooth to the touch.

Her fingers brush over lightly the star-shaped wound, still so fresh and he winces from the pain. “Thank you, Katara,” he smiles gratefully. “I still feel like an invalid, I can’t even dress myself.”

“You should be in bed, you almost died.” Katara looks at him sternly.

Zuko ignores the comment about dying, and simply shrugs, “You know I’d rather be lounging around, but it’s important that I show up to my first meeting as Fire Lord with the military commanders. I have to demonstrate that I’m in control, it’s a delicate time.” The complexity of the political situation doesn’t escape Katara, but it’s surreal that the awkward dork who was washing dishes with her a few days ago now suddenly has an entire country to run.

The burgundy west with the golden hem comes next.

He continues. “If they think I’m weak, they’ll pounce like puma-hyenas, to tear the whole thing apart. We’ll end up with warlords sitting on their islands again.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Katara thinks that the empire needs to end, and learning to be small again may not be the worst thing for the Fire Nation.

“I understand how you feel about the empire, Katara, believe me, I do. But that doesn’t mean we should go back to the days of the tribal wars and bloodshed.”

He raises his arms and she twists the golden belt around his waist.

“I didn’t mean that.” She doesn’t wish war on anyone, there has been enough lives lost.

Zuko sighs. “I know you didn’t. I’m just nervous.” He bites his lips.

Katara ties the intricate knot, taking care that the lines are perfect. “You’ll be fine, Zuko. You prepared for this your entire life. It’s your destiny.”

“Well, not for the three years I was banished,” he sighs.

“Especially those three years,” she says firmly. “Think about it, what did your uncle teach you?”

Zuko pauses for a moment then smiles. “You’re right. Strategy, politics, diplomacy, leadership, patience...tea.” Mentioning his uncle lightens him up without a fail. Katara thinks that maybe it reminds him that even with a missing mother, an imprisoned father and a crazy sister, he is not all alone in the world.

“You forgot pai sho,” grins Katara.

“Don’t even remind me of the pai sho,” he grimaces.

She helps him get into the ornate long robe.

“I still feel like a kid playing dress up… What if they don’t listen to me?” Zuko is back to worry-mode.

“They will. You are their legitimate ruler, and more importantly, they will see that you are right.” At least she hopes they will.

He bows his head slightly, so she can tie up his hair.

The black locks feel like pure silk under her fingers. They never touched much before, but since she has been healing him constantly in the past few days, she has become more tactile with him. He closes his eyes and leans into the touch lightly. Katara fusses with the knot for an unnecessarily long time; both of them unwilling to break contact.

Katara pins the three-pronged golden headpiece into the topknot.

He raises his head and his transformation is complete. In this moment, she’s acutely aware that he’s not only her dear, awkward friend, but also the Fire Lord, who belongs to his people. The feeling of closeness is replaced by a feeling of grief as she realizes that the part of their lives roaming free as a group of friends is irrevocably over. Something whispers inside her that it was probably the best part, only they didn’t realize it then.

“Aang said that he’ll leave for the Earth Kingdom tomorrow,” Zuko says quietly. There is a question hidden in the statement which he doesn’t say, but Katara hears nonetheless. Will she leave as well?

“Iroh needs his help to prepare for the peace conference… I mean it’s good no? We’ll be together again in two weeks.” Katara rambles instead of replying because she simply doesn’t know. It’s all hellishly complicated. In wartime, necessity ruled their life often leaving them no option, but now that peace is here, the future is wide open. Zuko’s and Aang’s destiny is written, but she’s free to become who she wants to be. Suddenly it feels like a terrible weight and she’s unsure if she’s capable of making a choice.

“Yeah, it’s good,” mutters Zuko, but there is a sadness in his eyes. He takes a deep breath and motions to his attire. “How does it look?”

Katara steps closer.

She smoothes her fingers over his eye gently, purple-red mark blooming under her fingertips.

The scar feels dry, scaly and warm. It reminds Katara that pomp and circumstance is only the surface, her dear friend underneath remains who he is. Reckless, brave, heroic, caring. She’s unsure if the caress is a good-bye or a promise. He goes very still and surrenders to her touch, just like he did that day.

“Perfect,” she nods.

They are yet again on the crossroads of their destiny, except this time the choice is hers to make. And now she feels the agony he must have felt, torn between the familiar and the new. She breaks away.

She squeezes his arm and nods at him encouragingly. “Go, knock them out…”

“...moose-lion,” she says and he flashes a big toothy smile at her. He runs out of the hut. One of his friends, dressed as a penguin, greets him. “Cool Zuko-costume, Bumi. But I think the scar is on the wrong side.” “No, it’s not on the wrong side,” retorts Bumi, and waves back at Katara one last time before the boys race towards the communal hall where the costume party is about to begin.

Katara watches his son skipping away happily, dressed as Fire Lord. Before, it would have been unimaginable for someone in the water tribe to pick a Fire Nation costume, but Aang and Zuko working tirelessly on peace have managed to turn things around in a surprisingly short time.

But there is more than that. Zuko is Bumi’s personal hero since he took the devastated boy last summer on a trip to the Fire Nation, while his siblings were training with their bending, introducing him to swordfighting, theater, white sandy beaches and other exciting adventures. Things he should have done with his father, but...well,...never got to. The trip changed the boy, he came back all laughter and confidence.

Katara looks at the frayed golden thread stuck to her hand and wraps it around her finger. In the last pale rays of the setting winter sun it looks like a golden ring. She closes her eyes and as the fading light caresses her face, she lets herself think about the life she didn’t choose.

When darkness falls over the South Pole, she goes home and starts preparing dinner. The kids will be back from the party soon and hearing their excited chatter over the family meal is the favourite part of her day.

AO3 link

#atla #atla fic #30daysofzutara #zuko #katara #zutara #canon compliant #therefore a bit melancholic #sorry #brusselssprout writes #zutara month 2018

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

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Teen Titans Spotlight #5: Jericho

Princess of Gemworld

How will he not know when he finds his fingers have been Crazy Glued to his cock?

With Jericho's powers, I don't know why he needs Garfield's fingerprints. Why not just possess Steve Dayton himself, knock him out so he can't scream for help, and just walk in to grab the promethium? Or hire his dad to get the shit! He could probably guilt Deathstork into doing loads of illegal stuff for him.

Why would Steve Dayton allow Garfield Logan access to his promethium?! Yeah, I fucking know Logan's his son. It still doesn't fucking make sense!

Jericho takes the promethium back to Arthur Lord so he can trade it to the Quraci government and save his daughter's life. But it's only after Lord leaves Addie's place with the promethium that she says to Jericho, "I think we just got scammed!"

Jericho responds, "I think you're a loser."

Sure enough, Penny and Arthur were just using Joey and his mom to get their hands on the most destructive non-Lobo thing in the DC Universe. Penny is all, "That dupe actually thought I loved him! But we didn't even fuck! I just held a tin of microwaved potato salad between my legs and let him fuck that." That's what sex feels like, right? Fucking warm potato salad? I mean, I totally know that's what it's like. I hope! I mean, I don't hope it feels like that in that I love the feeling of fucking warm potato salad! I hope that's what it feels like so people who have fucked don't think I haven't fucked because I described it poorly. We all have different experiences anyway! You can't invalidate my description of what it felt like when I totally had sex all those times! Joseph, being the biggest dupe of them all, didn't replace the promethium tablets with Sugar Mamas like I would have expected him to do. So now he and his mother have to break into Arthur Lord's secret laboratory and resteal the promethium tablets! If only they had consulted Nightwing, they could have been done with this adventure already. He would have been all, "Man, Joey, you smell like potato salad ! Did you fall for the fake lover with the potato salad between her legs trick? You better not trust her, buddy!" Oh, I was wrong! They don't break into Lord's place at all! They think their smartest move is to break into Qurac and kidnap Curt, Penny's husband! I guess they can use him as leverage. Although couldn't Joey have lifted Penny's fingerprints off of his prostate to gain access to the secret lab? If Joey had the ability to sneak into Qurac to rescue Penny without risking the entire world by giving Qurac promethium, why the fuck wasn't that the plan from the beginning?! I'm starting to sense that maybe Marv Wolfman was on Quaaludes when he wrote this script.

That would be Joey's crotch.

There's an advert for NBC's Saturday morning line-up in this issue and it just makes me wonder: if modern conservatives are so pissed off about everything in our culture that they see as emasculating the kind of man they think every guy should be, where the fuck were they in 1986 while I was watching Kissyfur, The Gummi Bears, Smurfs, Punky Brewster, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Foofur, and Kidd Video?! The most manly cartoon in that list is Alvin and the Chipmunks and they wore dresses! Stop doing the math and trying to point out that I was fourteen or fifteen in 1986! Gummi Bears had one of the best cartoon theme songs (right after Ducktales)! I'm going to go listen to it right now! Joey and Adeline take Curt to Tokyo where they finally begin interrogating him. Even though he spent multiple days being tortured by the Quraci government, he wouldn't tell them a thing. He spends two minutes alone with Adeline and Joseph and he begins spilling the beans. The only threat they used was that Joey was going to put himself inside hi...oh. I see what he's afraid of! Dude, it's nothing to be frightened of! Just relax, man! Joseph's a sensitive poet. He'll definitely provide a reach-around. Joseph infiltrates Lord's secret base and discovers he's resurrecting H.I.V.E. (which stands for Hierarchy of International Vengeance and Extermination which is fucking stupid. Just spitballing for a few seconds and I already came up with a better one: Higher Institute of Violent Extremism!). Joseph's movements are described as catlike which is why he's noticed freaking the fuck out, bouncing off walls, and yowling at the top of his voice. Arthur Lord, leader of an organization full of soldiers who are only in the organization because they killed a bunch of other master fighters, decides to fight Joseph himself. His mighty warriors (the best of the best!) just stand around in robes watching.

What good is your invaluable edge if you're not going to use it?! Kill the little creep, you idiot!

Arthur Lord tackles Joseph straight through a wall where they both disappear from view. Then he emerges and he's all, "He's dead! And since Joseph can't control the host's talking, I must be myself and telling the truth! Ha ha ha!" But I know better! Remember how I already saw there's another issue in this stupid story arc? Joseph is totally still alive! And probably possessing Arthur! And probably able to speak because Arthur was knocked unconscious! Pshaw! Marv Wolfman, you need better twists! Arthur and H.I.V.E. take off from their secret base to go take over the world. And they won't need the base anymore for some reason, so they just blow up the island on the way out. Ugh, he's the worst kind of tenant. Teen Titans Spotlight #5: Jericho Rating: B-. So much betrayal! So many twists and turns! Not much fucking though. Which makes it a mediocre Teen Titans story. And yes, the B- factors in the fact that this whole conflict is, once again, somehow driven by family.

#Teen Titans Spotlight #Jericho #Teen Titans #DC Comics #DC

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rarestnicole · 6 years

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Everything I Didn't Say

Happy birthday, Mommy Maits.

Dear Mommy, happy birthday. I love you, next to God but above anyone else. Both of us love music, so I'm using the lyrics of songs that I find fit to everything that I wanted to tell you whenever I hear them.

You are my world.

🎶 There's so many things I wanna say. I will always love you, I would never leave you alone. 🎶

Hindi ako madalas mag-message sa'yo ng ganito, but I always want to talk to you. Remember how I always tell you everything that I do, everyone that I know, and all the things that run into my mind whenever we talk through the phone and in person? LOL. I always think that it's nice to tell you every thing that happens in my life kasi you're not just my Mom, you're also my best friend and my safe haven. Napapanatag ako kapag sinasabi ko sa'yo ang lahat. Yes, I want you to see how obedient and honest I am for you to trust me enough when it comes to my decisions. But also, I want you to feel that I love you. That I love you that much to tell you the truth even when I know that you won't like some of it. Kahit po alam ko na mapapagalitan o mapagsasabihan mo ako sa ibang pinaggagagawa ko o sinasamahan ko, I'd still tell you honestly how and why I did it because I love you to the point where I can't seem to lie to you. You don't deserve my lies. You never will. So I'm assuring you always that I'll be honest. I am even telling you who my crush is. LOL, medyo big deal siya but hey, you're my Mom. What's wrong with telling you who makes me blush whenever I see him, right? Haha! Just don't think that I'll be having a boyfriend soon 'cause I don't think that I'd have one this year. Ask me again in 2019. I don't tell you that I love you because we weren't really that sweet to each other, but I am making ways to make you feel it. Hahaha. Could you tell whenever I'm trying to? I hope so. I'll never leave you, Mommy. How could someone live if she'll leave her world? She'd probably die or be miserable until death.

🎶 Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret. 🎶

I'm sorry if I make you upset, Mommy. Sorry po kasi pinapairal ko ang katigasan ng ulo ko at ginagawa lang ang gusto ko. Sorry kung nagtatampo ako sa'yo kapag hindi mo ako pinapayagan sa ibang gusto kong puntahan. Sorry kasi dumadagdag pa po ako sa mga nagpapasakit ng ulo mo when I should be comforting you kasi ang dami mo na ngang inaasikaso at iniisip. Please know that even when I'm being a brat, at the end of the day, magsisisi pa rin ako kasi I don't feel good kapag hindi tayo bati. :3

🎶 It breaks my heart to see you crying. 🎶

I'll never get used to see you crying and I don't even want to try. I don't even want to see you crying, more so, hear you sob because I always want you to be happy and comfortable. I have seen you cry more than the times that you allowed me to see. I also heard you cry and that's the most horrible sound that I have ever heard. I cried with you silently without you knowing. Alam ko po na hindi ko mapipigilan ang mga pag-iyak mo, that's normal. Tao ka na napapagod, nasasaktan at nalulungkot kaya hindi maiiwasang umiyak. Ang gusto ko lang po gawin ay damayan ka kapag dumating ang oras na iiyak ka. Even when I'm far from you, I want to comfort you and tell you how you mean to me even when you're flawed, even when you failed and even when you're broken beyond repair. I'd love you still. How could I not love the person who showed me how to love? You are the best example of a loving daughter and you inspired me to be one. After all, the best mother deserves the best daughter, so here I am!

🎶 I don't wanna lose you, I could never make it alone. 🎶

Natatandaan ko pa po ang sinabi mo noon na "Kapag ako namatay, kakagatin mo ang siko mo." Alam mo po bang simula noon, sinubukan kong kagatin ang siko ko? Hahaha. It's not because I want you gone, I just wanted to know kung kakayanin ko ba kapag namatay ka na. I'd probably be miserable my whole life. I can't imagine my life without you, I'd be lost forever. Here's a little secret; when I was young, nasa mga prayer ko ang mauna sana akong mamatay sa inyo ni Daddy kasi hindi ko kaya kapag iniwan ninyo ako. Haha. Pero nung iniwan naman ako ni Daddy, kaya ko naman pala, hindi naman kasi kami ganun ka-close at mas kailangan naman kasi kita at mas mahal. I dunno pero kahit mas spoiled ako kay Daddy and kahit you were always strict, I'd always choose you over Daddy. Strange. Strange kasi he's my blood and I thought that it'll always be thicker than water. Hmm. Maybe because you're the best among the rest of them. Kaya siguro hindi ko magawang sumama noon kay Daddy kahit mas sweet siya. HAHAHA. Alam ko po siguro deep inside me na mas mahal mo ako, mas ramdam ko siguro kahit hindi ko naririnig. I could never make it without you, Mommy. Don't leave me, ha? I'm a bit scared kapag naiisip ko po na magbi-birthday ka kasi tumatanda ka po. Thankful naman ako kay Lord kasi may isang taon kami ulit na kasama ka but still, it's freaking scary to think about you getting older. Hindi ko pa rin po kayang kagatin ang siko ko up 'til now and I probably won't be able to, kaya don't leave me, Mmy, ha?

🎶 You keep me standing tall, you helped me through it all. 🎶

When I'm insecure about myself, you'd always tell me that I could do it, except dancing. Sabi mo sa akin lagi, "Sus, kayang kaya mo 'yan." And I'd believe that I could do anything kasi kasasabi mo lang po eh. But when it comes to dancing, wala yata talaga kasi sinabi mo rin po eh. Haha. Whenever I'm having a hard time, you'd be there to guide me and tell me what to do. I appreciate all of that po.

🎶 I have always needed you, I could never make it alone. 🎶

I'll always need you kahit saan po ako mapunta kaya please be there for me always. I'll always be with you, too. I'll be your best friend and your daughter. I'll take care of you and I'll love you more because you deserve to be taken care of and to be loved more than you think you do. You're precious, Mommy.

You are my light.

🎶 Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart, it's the end of the world in my mind. 🎶

When I was a younger, I usually think that this world is better off without me because I shouldn't be here in the first place. I always thought that I was Mama and Papa's mistake, do tou know that Mommy? I thought that I ruined their lives but I never wanted any of this. I blamed them for being irresponsible and almost held a grudge against them for that. I always thought that I wasn't enough for anyone to stay just because Dad chose to leave me... He left us. Whatever, it's his loss.

🎶 Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call. I've been looking for the answers somewhere. I couldn't see that it was right there. 🎶

Whenever I feel worthless, I think of you and I feel useful. I always wanted to be useful for you. Gusto ko po makatulong lagi sa'yo para hindi ka po masyadong mahirapan, I think that's the reason why I was born. I think I was born for you to become the best mother. If that was actually it, then I'm glad to be Mama and Papa's mistake just to be your ray of sunshine. I hope that I'm one of your rays of sunshine or even just the color orange in the rainbow of your life.

🎶 But now I know what I didn't know: because you live and breathe, because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help. 🎶

You're my one-man cheering squad. Your happiness is also my happiness. My success is invalid without you because all of it is because of you. Dearest Mommy, if some days I'll turn again into your bratty daughter, please know that at the end of those days, I am regretting it wholeheartedly but I'm just too shy to say sorry. Even when I'm shy to say sorry, I'd always try to make it up to you. I'll always appreciate how you defend me and how you take my side when you know that I'm right but please don't do that often because it makes me cry. Hahahaha. Just tell me how I'm tough to ge through it and just be there for me always, like forever. Haha!

🎶 Because you live, Mom, my world has twice as many stars in the sky. 🎶

I put so much into this letter for you because you deserve it. I'll leave all the tears and emotions that passed through me here, in this very letter, and hope that you'll feel how much you are loved by a person you named Anne Nicole. You make my world even brighter, Mommy. You make anyone's world brighter. Your love is so precious to the point that some people are scared of it because they know that it's too much for them to deserve.

Cheers to another 50 years ahead!

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foolishheadstronggirl · 6 years

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Served - Chapter 3

New chapter time! =)

I was going to post on Wednesday, but I just couldn’t bring myself to post anything on episode night and take away from that fun! And then it was game night (I coach softball) and family days, so today’s the day lol. But I have a couple of chapters pretty much ready to go I think, so I can send those out more frequently. Thanks for hanging in there with me, and for all the encouragement!

As always, big thanks to the wonderful @13starbuck42 for the excellent beta work, cleaning up my crazy Southern vernacular! Also tagging @today-in-fic

Catch up with Chapter 1 and Chapter 2!

A/N: I’m going a little off here and playing Time Lord - this museum didn’t actually exist IRL until 1983, but for the purpose of my story, I’m going to pretend it did!

Chapter 3 – Charmed

After a rather sweet first date, Dana Scully was pleased to say the least. Whatever had been said about Daryl Worthington before was falling upon deaf ears now, because she truly believed he wouldn’t treat her poorly. He certainly hadn’t so far; he’d actually been very attentive to her since they had officially started dating! Carrying her books, walking her to class, driving her home instead of his buddies, spending Friday nights just hanging out. He had kissed her goodnight at the end of their second date, and Dana was most definitely ready for it. It had been a really great start, and Dana was happy.

While most of their dates had been casual meals and weekend movies, one date was so special it stood out from all the others.

On Saturday morning at ten o’clock, the Scully’s phone rang and Dana heard her mom answer. Several minutes later, Maggie called up the stairs, “Dana, honey, can you come down here for a minute?”

Is something wrong? Dana thought as she raced down the stairs. Is it Ahab?! She tried desperately to calm down, her rational mind attempting to reassure her that if it was serious, her mother would have been upset; Maggie completely lacked the ability to remain stoic when it came to her husband and children.

Maggie smiled reassuringly. “I can see you thinking way too hard, sweetheart. Everything is fine. That was Daryl. And before you get jumpy, he called because he wanted to ask me if it was ok before mentioning it to you, in case I said no. But I think it’s a nice idea, so go get dressed. You have a date this afternoon.”

Dana opened her mouth, ready to rapid-fire a barrage of questions, but her mother cut her off. “No ma’am, I’m not telling you anything! That’s the other reason he called me instead of you: this date is a surprise! Go get yourself ready!” Maggie said with a sly little lilt in her voice and a knowing smile.

Most people liked surprises, but Dana Scully was not terribly fond of them. They rarely lived up to the hype, and quite often left her feeling at least a little disappointed. But she was determined to enjoy whatever this turned out to be, because it was a sweet gesture. Dana couldn’t contain the tiny smile peeking out the corner of her mouth. She might not be like most girls she knew, but when a guy planned something special, it was hard not to feel pleased. Dana dressed in a flowy tunic and tights, pulled her hair back (in case they were going to be outside, she reasoned), and headed back downstairs to wait.

When Daryl showed up a half hour later, Dana was glad that she had put on something more dressy than jeans. Daryl was wearing a crisp button-down shirt and looking much nicer than he did for their typical Saturday night hang-out dates.

“So, you gonna let me in on this big secret?” Dana said teasingly.

Daryl chuckled. “You’ll see. I think you’ll love it.” He turned toward Maggie as he directed Dana out the door. “Thanks again, Mrs. Scully. I’ll have her home by 10pm.”

“You kids have fun!” Maggie’s voice carried through the door as it closed behind Dana.

Dana and Daryl chatted casually as they cruised down 163 to I-15, but when Daryl swung the car onto Highway 91, Dana was befuddled.

“Daryl, where are we going?” she asked with an edge to her voice. The excitement of adventure was giving way to anxiety over not having any idea where she was.

“Babe, I really wanna keep it a secret ‘til we get there, okay? I know it’s killing you right now, but it’ll be worth it! So let’s talk about something to take you mind off it. Tell me what you wanna do when you grow up, young lady,” Daryl grinned at her.

Dana rolled her eyes. “Ugh, Daryl, don’t patronize me!” She laughed to assure him she wasn’t angry. “Well, you already know, don’t you? I’m going into medicine. I’m not sure what specialty yet, but my father really wants me to practice. I just haven’t found anything that lights me on fire, you know? It’s weird, but sometimes I feel like I’m missing…something, but I have no idea what. Missy keeps telling me that I’ve got plenty of time to figure out the future and that I should quit worrying about it. But it’s really not that far away, and the things I focus on now really do matter! That’s Melissa, though. Anyway, you knew all that already; what about you? What do you want to do after you graduate?”

“I don’t know for sure,” Daryl shrugged, noncommittal. Dana felt mild shock at the idea of someone a year and a half away from graduating having no concrete plan for the future. He continued, “I’ll probably go to the community college and do some welding classes, maybe get on an oil rig somewhere. I don’t figure I’m going to go some big college, though; I’m pretty tired of classes all day long. I really want to do something with my hands anyway… you know, manly stuff,” he half-smiled, eyes on the road.

Dana felt a slight twinge of something like wistfulness, but shook it off quickly. Who knows, she thought hopefully, it’s a long time until next May… I might be able to help him think more clearly about his future! He’s smart enough to go to college; to really make something of himself! Maybe we could study for the SATs? Touring some college campuses together would definitely be fun!

As they rolled down the California highway, Dana and Daryl enjoyed easy conversation, sandwiches and fruit, and early afternoon sunshine. After a pleasant two-hour drive, they reached their destination: the San Bernardino County Medical Society. Dana turned and quirked an impertinent eyebrow toward her boyfriend, whose laughing eyes found hers immediately. Before she could ask him anything, though, Daryl’s attention was drawn to a door beyond her shoulder.

“Good afternoon, sir! Thank you so much for your response to my letter; I’m very excited to show my girlfriend your facility here,” Daryl spoke gregariously to the well-dressed gentleman who had walked out to meet them.

The man shook Daryl’s hand, then extended his arm to Dana and clasped her hand warmly. “Certainly! We are honored to show off our wonderful facility to young people to further interest in our disciplines; that’s precisely why we’re here!” He replied, then turned his attention to Dana. “You actually picked a perfect day to come by; we are preparing for a visit from a school group later today, so everything is shiny and ready! My name is Dr. Hamilton, and I know from my correspondence with your young man that you are Ms. Dana Scully. It is my absolute pleasure to meet such a lovely young lady with an interest in the field.”

To say Dana’s interest was piqued was an understatement of the grandest proportion. What is this place? she wondered, incredulous.

“And what field would that be, sir?” Dana asked slyly, slicing a glance at Daryl, who laughed out loud at her overt attempt to discover just what she was about to face.

Dr. Hamilton chuckled and offered his arm to the tiny redhead. “Tell you what, Ms. Scully; why don’t you let me show you?” The kind professor ushered Dana into the building, with Daryl following closely behind.

Inside, Dana was greeted by a neat reception desk and a sign reading, “Southern California Medical Museum.” Bewilderment, then excitement lit her eyes as she realized what this must be, and she spun toward Dr. Hamilton and Daryl to make sure she understood correctly.

“It’s a collection of medical, dental, and pharmacy artifacts, such as surgical tools, antique bottles, unique devices that truly have to be seen to be believed, and a medical library. We have really interesting items like bleeding bowls, invalid feeders, and all kinds of instruments used during various wars, including the Civil War. Even if you’re not interested in becoming a medical historian, it’s interesting to see where we’ve come from, don’t you agree?” Dr. Hamilton presented.

Dana turned wide, animated, blue eyes toward Daryl. “How long can we stay?”

___________

Dr. Hamilton had discussed most of the exhibits with Dana and Daryl, but left, albeit reluctantly, when the school group showed up for their tour. He told Dana to write down any questions she might have and said he would be happy to answer them for her before she left, or in continued correspondence if need be. Dana shook Dr. Hamilton’s hand firmly, promising to visit again soon.

Dana wandered the museum to her heart’s content, spending hours looking at anything and everything. She was fascinated. Daryl walked beside her, staying close most of the time. But occasionally, he hung back, leaning against a wall to watch Dana as she discovered and learned. By the time Dana was ready to leave, she had filled two pages of a legal pad with questions about a series of exhibits featuring the progression of surgical tools and procedures, with an interesting sidebar about pathology and battlefield forensics.

The pair left the museum hand in hand, and when they were back in the car, Dana leaned over and kissed Daryl. “That was wonderful, Daryl, thank you so much. It was incredibly thoughtful of you,” Dana effused warmly.

“I’m glad you liked it; I wanted to show you I’ve been paying attention,” Daryl replied. “Now, let’s go grab a bite to eat back at the bay before I have to whisk you home,” he said with a smile.

When Dana walked in the front door that evening, Maggie was reading in the armchair; she had been waiting up to hear all about the surprise date. She immediately noticed that her youngest daughter looked a dazed, maybe even a bit distracted, as she hung up her jacket and ambled into the living room.

“So, did you have fun? How was it?” When Maggie spoke, Dana jumped slightly, as if she hadn’t even noticed her there.

Dana smiled. “Perfect, Mom,” she sighed. “It was perfect.”

#xfiles fanic #scully #high school AU

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