#but I put limits to winning at all costs and with a shady if not blatant disrespectful attitude

[soulc-hilde]

The Library

Note: I've been kind of AWOL after putting out a couple of works, but it wasn't on purpose - I promise! Between working everyday and debating if I want to give college another try, things have been hectic but new chapters will be posted soon!

Pairing: Sokka x Beifong! OC

Synopsis: Takes place during ATLA episode, The Library. Taking mini vacations, Sokka flips out over his need to wrap his hands around a map of the Fire Nation. Thanks to the mysterious words and well detailed map of Professor Zei, the group discovers the mysterious Wan Shi Tong's Library; however, at what costs?

After teaching Aang how to earthbend, the young Avatar had suggested everyone to choose their own mini vacation. As the sole purpose of the group, the monk had decided on some mountains without explaining why.

The boy sits cross legged and in front of them, the land was lined with holes. He holds the flute in his hands, waiting on something. "What's out there," Sokka questions. Toph bends down, her hand laying flat in the dirt.

"A lot, actually," she answers, "there's hundred of little--" Aang silences her, "shh! Don't ruin the surprise. Just watch." Looking back toward the field, he blows a note into the flute and a groundhog pops up and mimicks the note.

The Avatar continues, shifting from high notes to low. With each pitch that was played, a groundhog appeared to replicate it. While Aang was enjoying himself, Sokka was over it and had reached his limit. The teen plugs his finger into the end of the instrument with a frown.

"This is great and all," he chides, "but don't we have more important things to worry about? We should be making plans."

Aang argues back, "we did make plans. We're all picking mini vacations." Sokka grunts, "there's no time for vacations."

"I'm learning the elements as fast as I can. I practice hard every day with the girls," the boy explains, "I've been training my arrow off!" Sokka scoffs, "so have I, but you don't see me complaining."

Katara steps up, "what's wrong with having a little fun in our down time?" Sokka ignores her, glaring down at the airbender. "Even if you do master all of the elements, then what? It's not like we have a map of the Fire Nation."

He points his arms into the wind, "should we just head west until we reach the Fire Lord's house?" Sarcastically, he pretends to knock on an imaginary door, "knock, knock. Hello? Fire Lord? Anybody home?"

Breaking character he faces the group again, "I don't think so. We need some intelligence if we're going to win this war." Irritated, Aang plays a note and a groundhog appears under the Water Tribe boy.

Katara rolls her eyes, "alright. We'll finish our vacations and then we'll look for Sokka's intelligence." The others laugh at the siblings' quid. Aang opens a map, jumping to his feet before showing it to Katara.

"Your turn, Katara," he grins, "where would you like to go on your mini vacation?" The waterbender looks with a hum before pointing at a small spot that was drawn with ice.

"How about the Misty Palm Oasis?" She suggests, "that sounds refreshing." Aang nods, "oh yeah, I've been there. It's a pristine natural ice spring and I usually don't use the word 'pristine', it's one of nature's wonders."

After a few minutes of traveling, the Oasis was no longer in 'pristine' condition anymore. Instead it was littered and home to shady sandbenders as well as a small little shop.

Aang awkwardly laughs, "must've changed ownership since I was here." Riki smirks, "sure, kid. Sure."

The group walks further into the Oasis and the withering sign falls. They pass what used to be the ice spring, now just a patch of snow. Entering the small bar, one of the sandbenders spit at Sokka feet. Watching the teen snarl with irritation, he smirks at the idea of starting a brawl.

Before the Water Tribe boy could lunge, a strong brown hand snatches him away. He looks down to see that his rescue was at the hands -- literally -- of Riki, who continues inside without a fault. Inside, the bar was filled with travelers of weary health and appearance unlike the man who stood tall at the counter.

"One mango, please," he orders with foreign mannerisms. Sokka watches the bartender slice and mash the fruit into a juice before sweeping it inside the chiseled bowl.

The teen smiles, "I don't see anything wrong with having one of thos fruity beverages while we plan our strategy." He runs over to the bartender, the others following. As the foreign man turns around with his bowl, he accidentally slams into Aang.

Unbothered, the boy smiles, "no worries, I clean up easy." Without a thought, he airbends the substance off of his robes. The man gasps, "you're a living relic."

Aang shrugs, "thanks, I try." The man continues, "an Air Nomad right in front of me." He bows, "Professor Zei, Head of Anthropology at Ba Sing Se University."

He snatches Aang's arm, holding it to his eyes. Just as Aang was forced to lean on his toes from the force, the ground beneath the professor shifts and pushes him back a few steps. The two turn to see a glaring Riki.

"Watch it, professor," she growls.

Since chaotically meeting Aang and his friends, as well as joining them along with her sister, the elder Beifong had willingly took on the responsibility for the group -- particularly the youngest ones. At first, it wasn't too much trouble since her first experience was with Toph but after meeting the boy's continuous list of enemies created a sense of paranoia for her.

It doesn't help that he tends to use airbending out of habit... and his mortal compass marks even the craziest people as 'friendly.'

Zei continuous his rant of questions, measuring the boy's head, "tell me, which of the Air Temples do you hail from?" Aang answers, "the Southern Temple."

The professor gasps, "oh, splendid! Now, tell me, what was the primary agricultural product of your people?" With a raised eyebrow, the boy replies, "uh, are fruit pies an agricultural product?"

"Oh, truly fascinating," Zei grins, "that is one for the journal."

After conversing with the weird man, the group -- Sokka -- made their mini vacation about finding Wan Shi Tong's Library and the Professor had joined their journey. As Appa soars, peacefully, the professor continuously admires the bison's fur.

Toph huffs, slouching over the saddle, "does this place even exist?" The professor looks over, "some say it doesn't." Her glazed over eyes widen, "shouldn't you have mentioned that before." The twelve year old grunts, falling back into her older sister's lap.

Once again, time passes and no library in sight. Toph sits up, pointing outwards, "there it is!" The others crowd around the sisters with anticipation, but the two laugh.

"That's what it'll sound like when one of you spots it," Toph teases, waving her hand in front of her face with a smile. The others delfate in disappointment while Riki gives her a high five.

The eldest of the group looks at them, shrugging, "it shouldn't be this hard to spot a giant building from the air. Especially one as huge as it's described to be." Riki points at the drawing

Sokka looks out with a telescope before pointing into the abyss of sand. "Down there," he calls out. He leans forward, "what's that?" Aang guides Appa down to it.

On landing, everyone jumps off and watch as Katara pulls out the library blueprint once again. She shakes her head, "forget it. It's obviously not what we're looking for. The building in this drawing is enormous."

Riki takes a look at the blueprints before smiling, "no, it is the library! It's just completely buried and there's one of those foxes," she points. They all watch as the fox mindlessly climbs to point of the building and leaps through the small window.

The professor runs to the point, shoveling at the sand with a hand shovel. "My life's ambition is now full of sand," he sighs, "well, time to start excavating."

The others look at him in ridicule as Toph slams her hand into the pointe. "Actually, that won't be necessary," she explains, "the inside seems to be completely intact and it's huge!"

Sokka nods, "that fox thingy went in through a window. I say we climb up there and give it a look." Toph crosses her arms, "I say, you guys go without me."

"You got something against libraries?" Katara raises a brow. Riki's jaw clenches as Toph replies, sarcastically, "I've held books before and I gotta tell you, they don't exactly do it for me."

Katara turns sheepish, "oh, right. Sorry." Riki side-eyes her, "are you?" Not wanting things to escalate, Toph smirks, "let me know if they have something you can listen to."

As the others begin to climb inside, Sokka turns around when he notices Riki wasn't climbing the rope. "Riki," he calls, "aren't you coming?"

The teen shakes her head, "I'll be the look out with Toph. It may seem empty, but those sandbenders can be anywhere." He simply nods in understanding, "we'll be back," he promises before disappearing.

As time drowns on in the heat, Toph sits in the sand as Riki plays catch with the flying bison. Bending the sand to point upwards on one end and once again on the next, Riki softly smiles as Appa fails at catching it.

The fun comes to an end once the ground beneath them quakes. Looking over, the girls gasp as the library begins to sink. "No!" They shout, charging for the pillar.

Slamming their hands into the earthy wall, they fight with gritted teeth to at least slow it down long enough for the others to escape. Toph, aggravated at her slipping, hardens the sand around her feet before going back to holding up the pillar.

Appa roars, alerting them of unwanted company. "What now," Toph grunts. "Sandbenders," Riki answers. "Focus on the pillar, I'll handle them."

Not waiting for a reply, the older Beifong charges towards Appa. Launching over the bison, she lands on her knees and shoves her hands under the sand. Creating quicksand, a few of the sand sailors are swallowed by their own element.

The others that made it use their strength in numbers against the teen and the bison. Hearing the pained grunts of her sister and terrified roars from Appa, Toph tries to send her own quick blasts into the fight. Unlike her sister, she was unfamiliar with the sandy form of earth and missed each hit.

Forced to focus on the pillar, the young girl cries softly as the sounds of fighting go silent and in turn one of the thugs ordering the fleet to leave. Feeling the lack of their presence, she shakes her head, "I'm sorry, guys. I'm so sorry."

#avatar the last airbender #sokka x oc #sokka x reader #atla #toph beifong #Sokka x beifong!reader #Beifong sisters #Atla imagine #Atla fanfic #Sokka fanfic #the legend of korra #avatar: tlok

[fincalinde]

You said that none of these changes would put more cards into jgy's hands. I think this is interesting in that, there might be ways to give jgy cards, to correct mistakes or misjudgments, but for the most part, IMHO, jgy kinda did the best with what he had.

One of his criticisms I see a lot by the fandom at large is that he should have done things differently, but there isn't much wiggle room for him that doesn't lead to his own demise.

I'd like to hear your opinion on this✨

- 🦊

Greetings, fellow fox!

Right, so. As a reminder for any followers who care what I think, this is because I was getting a lot of late canon divergence suggestions and I had to caveat with:

For the record, the reason I keep saying 'I’m not sure it would change the canon timeline that much’ in response to these asks is not because I think the canon outcome is somehow inevitable or foreordained. It just means that none of the proposed changes so far have been the kind that put more cards in JGY’s hand.

I completely agree that JGY played all his cards about as well as he could, especially considering how limited his options are throughout his life. I have no words for how little time I have for any reading that argues he had plenty of choices that would have led to better outcomes. He certainly wasn't stuck on rails, but his options at all times are essentially 'die in the gutter' or 'live in ignominy at best and still probably die in the gutter' or 'do terrible things'. And between all that he manages to achieve many good and heroic things even before he's in a position of power.

You know what they say: power reveals. When JGY gets power he finally gets to do what he wants. Which is, apparently: to extirpate the corruption and bribery that is rife in the Jin sect; to eliminate demonic practices while also continuing with some form of private experimentation in a similar vein to every other clan (WWX notes JGY's torture table is a normal thing any clan leader would have); to push through his watchtower proposal in the face of strong opposition, spending his slender political capital to do so—even when it costs him his son's life (if you read the text that way; it doesn't really matter if you don't because the point still stands about his goals). And so forth.

He's still doing shady things, but he dials it right back to a level that is appropriate to his culture and he is simultaneously focused on doing something that benefits the common people. Of course he also knows if he can just push through the watchtowers it will likely increase Jin power and influence, but honestly... so what? We see what he does with that increased power and influence too: he uses it to rule well. Unless you're arguing the jianghu needs to introduce an entirely new system of governance, in which case every clan leader and not just JGY should be examined, there's nothing wrong with what he's doing.

But anyway, back to the actual question: how to put more cards in JGY's hands during his own personal endgame. My opinion is that there is only one card that makes a difference, and only one card he really needs: if there is any change in which he has the smallest reason to suspect NHS, then JGY wins. Completely and utterly. NHS is vastly outgunned and his entire strategy rests on the fact that JGY would never suspect him in a million years. But if JGY does suspect... NHS is toast. Probably LXC (and Wangxian) are still going to dig up those unpleasant truths because the ball is already rolling there, but JGY can handle that.

I have Something in the works regarding putting this particular card in JGY's hands but I'm not allowed to say anything about it yet. Watch this space.

#anonymous #ask #jin guangyao #roquen meta

[otomelavenderhaze]

My honest, but with no big spoilers plot-wise, review about Tears of Themis.

If you wanna get a general idea about how this game works, I think it’s fair to point out that one reminds me of very loosly of My Candy Love given the screentime we get with each character, it also reminds me of Ikemen for the tight plot and engaging story with a complex but still pretty straightfoward and it reminds me Queen's Choice in the composition of the app and with certain mechanics, as well, the possible only platonic type of relationship that you can get with the four male leads. 

However and even so, Tears ot Themis is still pretty much it’s own thing with the Sherlock Holmes-like approach to the cases, it’s own world building with it’s own rules and pretty advanced technological set up and hits of retro/vintage elements here and there, with a very much anime styled storywise and artwise scenarios but a really tight and engaging plot.

So I don’t think it’s fair to draw any further comphrasions and instead let’s talk about my game experience with this one so far: 

The game give us multiple ways of engaging with story/plot. 

You have the main episodes to play, with criminal or civil cases to solve and win over. 

Then in a different section, each male character has it’s own lockable side route, where you can know them better and get the spend some time with them after raising some affinity AND each card from the Gacha that you evolve and level up can have it's own little story that costs nothing and most of them feels like a date. I have played some of it and it's really really cute.

Now I think this game will approach romance in a more platonic way. The romance in the first four episodes and for what I saw so far, is very light, platonic and soft. I’m not sure if we will ever evolve to a full-relationship type of dynamic with the male leads. 

However, I wouldn’t rule it out for the future just yet, since it feels like an otome. 

We get some truly cute moments with MC that clearly has a lot of chemistry with all four of the male leads. They all have their own dynamic with her, different kind of relationships and levels of intimacy. Every moment we get to share with them feels different and they all are interesting, mysterious and charming around her. 

They’re also all very linked to the plot in different ways, like Artem is also an attorney, meanwhile, Luke is a detective, and so go on and on - they all have their own weight to the plot, but it doesn’t feel unbalanced at all. I had a very pleasant surprise dealing with them in those different scenarios, because I never felt bored or annoyed by any of them in any shape or form. 

The art of the game is gorgeous. 

The backgrounds, the side characters, the main characters, the cgs!! Everything is so beautiful all the time that it can catch your attention really easily. The animation is also really well done, it doesn’t look weird even tho, looks very cartoony sometimes. 

Some cgs don't have animations, most of the special ones do and when they do, they're pretty and cool. It’s totally something that you can stare and simp for hours kkkkkk I didn't dislike any of the ones I got, not even with the characters that I feel less connected with.

As a beta tester I can't really talk much about the cap in the points we get to play the game - because they gave us so much energy to test the most we could.

However, I can see how the energy points system will put certain cap on us, because you will need energy points for EVERYTHING - aside from somethings that you won’t, like the card’s stories. I pushed my limits somedays and I can see how this can push someone to actually spend money on the game to get through the story. 

But I can’t point out if it’s gonna be super unfair or not yet, because, like I said, they almost give us infinity supply for the energy points, so I went through everything I had without thinking too much and I did almost run out of spare things to use, indeed, but I was commiting some mistakes and I just being full-on about it.  

As a Gacha Game it’s what it is. I also can’t speak much about my experience with it, because they give a lot of things to us and I did spend everything I would got in game to get cards. I wasn’t really trying to get any that I really wanted, so I can’t speak about the frustration of not getting them - I got a lot of cool ones, but they did supply us with a lot of points to exchange for cards, so. 

The system to level up the CG is the complex part. You can upgrate a card in way too many ways. However, I have played through the fourth episode and I didn’t find any block with the ones I had leveled up (I had 3/4 RS leveled up on their main level and I played without any worry at all). 

I'm not going in dept about what each episode is about here, however, I need to point out that each case is pretty straightforward but really fun with a twist to play. 

MC is an attorney, but she also acts like an investigator in a very Sherlock Holmes way, picking apart small things and piece together, with us the players, what happened. And to make it even funnier, we get to play a little bit of Ace Attorney in this game kkkkkkkk it has a really obvious inspo on that one and it's a really cool addition. Any one that at least are familiar with the memes can pick apart which parts have a nod to Ace Attorney.

That being said, every case doesn't really feel like a challenge per say. You won't fail the whole episode if you commit mistakes on the trials. The game is more about the journey than really create a challenge for us and I can see it as something good. Maybe some of you will hate it, but I was fine with how it was.

I wanna see which direction Mihoyo will take it story-wise (I’m actually really curious) since they're doing a such good job with Genshin's and Hokai's story. They both have really well tied up stories, with a dark twist and full of symbologies that gives clues to a bigger picture.  

It feels like the cases of every episode for the main story are key for the major plot BUT not quite what the major plot is going to be, there’s for sure something bigger going on and I’m very interested to know what exactly it is.

Overall my experience with this game was really good. 

I loved Artem and Marius, I’m totally taken by their personalities and by how handsome they are kkkkkk Luke is also super cute and handsome, he was a very pleasant surprise. Vyn is an interesting character, very morally grey and kinda shady but really trustworthy too kkkkkk which was a fun mix - but I would say he’s my less favorite. 

I wasn’t expecting enjoy the story so much, but I did. I wasn’t expecting just how cute and charming the male leads are, Marius and Luke in special really surprised me and hooked me in. I was pretty sold on Artem alone, but now I’m there for them all. I wanna learn more about them and play more with their stories in the future. 

#Tears of Themis #personal

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Hawkeye #1-4

September, 1983

Listen to the Mockingbird

Now for something completely different.

-OR- Further justifying why the posts are titled Essential Avengers when I’m just going to put a colon and then an Avengers to get Essential Avengers: Avengers. Its because sometimes its not Avengers!

Sometimes its Hawkeye.

Since I’m doing four issues in one post, I’m not going to go as in-depth as I usually do.

So, last times on Avengers as related to Hawkeye: Hawkeye was cut from the Avengers due to a limited roster. He eventually got a job as the security chief at Cross Technological Enterprises with the same lack of restraint that got him a job with the Avengers. He’s been doing that for a while, since pre-200. Recently the Avengers needed beef up their roster and Cap and Iron Man convinced him to rejoin, which Hawkeye has done while also keeping his security chief job.

During an Avengers mission TO RESCUE THE PRESIDENT, he broke his leg and was put on medical leave from the team. He got one of the CTE people to build him a rocket-sled that he could putt around in. Judging by the lack of cast, his leg is better but he’s still using the cool rocket-sled.

And that’s where we are. Hawkeye has a cool rocket-sled and is actually holding down an actual job at Cross Technological Enterprises. He’s seems to still be on leave from the team despite his leg being better.

The miniseries starts with Hawkeye congratulating himself on getting a cool rocket-sled, even though it cost all of his money.

Hawkeye: “‘Bad guys beware -- Hawkeye’s in the air!’ Hmmm, not the worst slogan an aerial archer could have... but close.”

At least he’s self-aware. Some days that’s all you can ask of Hawkeye!

He spots three suspicious characters suspiciously sneaking and swoops down on the rocket-sled, taking them out with ease with his totally sweet trick arrows.

Hey, note to comic makers of our modern day. Trick arrows are sweet. I don’t need to see people getting shot in the eyes with arrows when I can see like a net arrow or whatever.

The three suspicious characters are actually CTE employees that Hawkeye asked to come in on their off time to help him get a hang of archering from the rocket-sled. Including the scientist, Jorge, who built it for him!

Wow, Hawkeye!

Jorge at least was happy to do build the thing because he feels like his talents are wasted at CTE and Hawkeye encourages him to go into business for himself.

Which is probably the kind of thing that’s going to get Hawkeye a reprimand but hey, good looking out, Hawkguy.

One of the other CTE employees asks why Hawkeye uses a bow and arrow instead of... a gun. Why not just shoot people with a gun.

Hawkeye: “The bow is quieter, more versatile, and in my hands the deadliest weapon in the state. Or hadn’t you noticed, Howie?”

He doesn’t mention that its also more believably non-lethal than if he were going around with a gun. Because Hawkeye says its the deadliest weapon in the state but he’s also a huge proponent of “superheroes don’t kill!”

But point being, you can buy a comic book guy pinning people to walls with arrows or using trick arrows or shooting weapons out of their hands without killing anyone way more than you could if Hawkeye was just using a magnum.

Also, this:

I believe he is literally flexing on that dude.

CTE’s new public relations lady Sheila Danning shows up for a date with Hawkeye because I guess there’s no rule about dating co-workers. Or at least if they’re not in the same department?

Having a woman showing positive attention to Hawkeye is his cue to have a little internal monologue that’s a little bit sad.

Hawkeye: Man, this is the life! A ridiculously high-paying job, a fast machine between my legs, and a foxy lady who’s nuts about me. What more could a guy want? Until Sheila came along, I thought I was put on this world for women to dump on. Women... like the Black Widow and Scarlet Witch. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t get them to care for me like I did for them. Sheila’s different. Even though we’ve been seeing each other for only a month, what we have is special, real, like nothing I’ve ever known.

I don’t want to ruin his good times but I will remind the audience that he once rage-quit the Avengers because Scarlet Witch didn’t want to kiss him.

Anyway, Hawkeye is pretty enamored. He’s even thinking maybe it’s time he settles down.

He takes her back to his place and they start dancing to some Mantovani as he recaps his entire backstory to her.

In fairness. In faiiiirness. She asked.

But you should know the drill. Clint and Barney ran away from the orphanage to join the circus. Swordsman saw potential in Clint and trained him in archery and Clint began seeing Swordsman as a father figure so threw himself into training in hopes that Swordsman would be proud of him.

Which is funny in an odd way because there’s some same-face going on and Swordsman looks just like Tony Stark!

I wonder if Clint ever slipped up and called Tony dad and had to cover it up by continuing into a daddio.

Anyway, he caught Swordsman with stolen money and Swordmaster left him in a broken heap and skipped town when Clint wouldn’t promise to keep quiet.

Later, he saw the adulation that Iron Man got when he flew over the circus and thought wait I can do that. Got a costume and tried to become a hero. Oops, tripped into being a supervillain and enemy of Iron Man. Annd then joined the Avengers.

Hawkeye: “I’ve done many a stint with my Avenging buddies, but I think I’m finally ready to wing it solo for good. Much as I like ‘em, they cramp my style a bit too much.”

Sheila: “Fascinating story, Clint. Looks like I’ve got a real self-made man. How about if I try to unmake you a little?”

And then they’re about to do sexy times when Clint’s emergency beeper goes off. Because somehow the emergency always knows when you’re horny or mid-ablution.

Hawkeye has to suit back up and head out back to work

Hah.

But anyway, he catches a lady in a very sleevesy costume prowling around and during some back and forth and further back and forth pinned you no pinned you action, she introduces herself as Mockingbird, an ex-shield agent and freelance crimebuster (I think that means superhero?).

Some underworld contacts of hers led her to investigate Cross Technological Enterprises under suspicion that CTE is manufacturing mass mind control technology right under a certain Avenger slash archer’s nose. I.e., Hawkeye.

She wants him to lead her to warehouse 10 but their conversation is interrupted by a security night shift who rush in and surround Mockingbird despite Hawkeye ordering prior to the action scene to let him handle it.

They cuff Mockingbird and take her away but oddly claim that they thought Hawkeye sent the signal for them to charge in.

Hawkeye is perplexed and vexed wondering if there’s anything to Mockingbird’s story. He doesn’t know the full extent of what CTE manufactures and there was some shady business in Marvel Fanfare #3 where a vice-president was using CTE facilities to manufacture a bomb.

Mockingbird’s story bugs him so much that he returns home to Sheila and tells her that there’s something he has to take care of and sends her home in a cab.

He returns to Cross on his sweet rocket-sled and investigates warehouse 10, finding it empty but with a lot of fresh tracks in the dust, like something was moved in only the past hour or so.

Also, a bunch of security staff show up and point guns at him.

That’s also a red flag.

When reminding them he’s their boss doesn’t settle them down, he rolls to the floor to shoot out the lights like a cool action guy and then starts taking them out in the dark just by shooting whenever he hears one of the idiots make a sound.

But one of the guards has Sheila hostage even though she was supposed to have gone home so Hawkeye has to surrender.

The guards toss him into a pit with Mockingbird. Just an oubliette that CTE has on premise, as ya do.

Hawkeye demands to speak with Sheila so he knows she’s alright and whoops she’s in on it.

Sheila Danning, heartbreaker: “Barton -- you stupid fool! Why did you have to be so conscientious? It was my job to keep you distracted so you’d have no time to notice the operation Cross had been contracted for -- a very costly, deadly operation.”

Hawkeye, heartbroken: “What are you talking about, Sheila? Are you saying they paid you to -- to --”

Sheila: “Yes, they paid me. I was pretty convincing, wasn’t I? You never had the slightest idea that I could sooner love a dog than a cornball Romeo with delusions of adequacy like you.”

Hawkeye: “You can’t mean that! They must’ve brainwashed you, poisoned your mind against me! Or -- or maybe you’re not Sheila at all, an imposter, or a robot -- !”

Sheila: “Don’t kid yourself, Barton. I’m the one and only. The woman who could barely keep from snickering when you told her your carnival story this evening.”

Ouch.

I like to mock Hawkeye because he deserves some light ribbing but ouch, she slipped a knife right between those ribbings.

That poor dolt was thinking about proposing and she was paid to distract him by feigning interest. Oof ouch.

Anyway, since CTE has suddenly become Bond-esque, they start dumping liquid industrial waste into the pit to drown and/or melt Hawkeye and Mockingbird.

The stuff is like acid but Hawkeye is kind of wallowing in being dumped and doesn’t care.

Hawkeye: “I ain’t moving. All my life I’ve been dumped on. I’m beginning to enjoy it.”

Mockingbird tells him that if he lets himself be melted by industrial waste because he feels sorry for himself, his ex wins. But that doesn’t move him so she has to mock him into action. This is what she was named for!

Mockingbird: “So this is what they taught you in the Avengers? What a bunch of jerks! They should see you now. I’ll bet you let them down in a pinch, too. Whenever your feelings get hurt.”

Hawkeye: “SHUT UP! I’m gonna get us out of here, lady. Then I’m going to kill Sheila for what she did to me. Then you’ll get yours, too.”

Mockingbird: “Sure, sure. Get us out first.”

Hah, I like Mockingbird.

And I like Hawkeye too. He makes good use of what he has to escape this Bond-esque trap. He doesn’t have his bow or his arrows but he keeps a fifty foot length of cord in his boot and spare arrowheads in his tunic. He calls his rocket-sled with the remote control, ties the cord to a spare rocket arrow-tip and rockets himself and Mockingbird out of the pit and up to his rocket-sled.

Then Hawkeye says he has to go attend some private business and Mockingbird is like cool, I’ll wait for you and hops onto a roof.

Hawkeye rams the rocket-sled through the window of Sheila Danning’s office and jump kicks the guards she has with her and confronts her.

Hawkeye: “You hurt me, Sheila... More than anything ever hurt in my life.”

Sheila: “Stay back, Hawkeye! I - I --”

Hawkeye: “I could kill you for what you did to me. But I won’t. I... can’t. I just don’t care anymore... about you or about whatever scheme Cross is up to! Give me my bow and quiver back and I’ll go.”

Tangentially, like an anime, his shirt is a lot flimsier than his pants and melted off in the acid while his pants are tattered but intact. If only they made shirts out of pants...

And if only they made any outfit out of lady outfit. Mockingbird’s outfit has a few holes and tatters but her whole top didn’t dissolve like Hawkeye’s did!

Sheila does give Hawkeye his archery stuff but warns him that he Knows Too Much and Cross will come after him.

Kind of a weird flex to pull on AN AVENGER WHO KNOWS THOR but you do you, Cross Technological Enterprises.

Hawkeye just takes off on his sweet rocket-sled without responding, zooming past where he left Mockingbird who has to jump onto the moving rocket-sled because he does not slow down for her.

Mockingbird: “Got your business taken care of, sport?”

Hawkeye, crying a little: “Shut up, just shut up. If you hadn’t shown up, none of this could have happened.”

Oof.

That’s the hurt speaking buddy. Ignorance wouldn’t have been bliss here because as soon as Cross didn’t need to distract you any longer, Sheila probably would have found some excuse to dump you.

Also, their scheme was asinine! They don’t have other facilities? Just build the mind control doohickey somewhere else instead of paying someone to distract Hawkeye with horny!

October, 1983

POINT BLANK!

So after having his heart broken and wallowing in some acid sludge in the last issue, Hawkeye is in a bad place. Emotionally. And also geographically.

He’s standing on some abandoned railroad tracks under the West Side Highway and shooting arrows at a bullseye he crudely drew on a cement block.

And Good Archer Hawkeye has not hit a single bullseye because of all the emotional turmoil. Also, since he’s shooting at concrete, he’s breaking all of his arrows.

He’s also wearing his no-shirt acid-tattered costume.

And he’s been here for 42 hours without sleeping, eating, or managing to hit a bullseye.

He’s in a bad place.

So he passes out and he’s eventually found by some random street toughs who recognize him as an Avenger (although they think his name is Nighthawk womp womp) and decide ‘hey lets kick his ass and do him a murder maybe.’

Hawkeye comes to, as one might when people are kicking them in the head, and manages to nail three bullseyes on the three toughs he didn’t kick unconscious.

Hawkeye: Three bullseyes. Two kayos. Five sleezos in dreamland. Thanks, creeps. You gave me a reason to go on living. I’m just not sure what it is!

But now Hawkeye is at a loss of what to actually do. He refuses to go to the Avengers for help because blah blah blah muh pride. He can’t go and “mooch” off of them. So he decides to go check out the apartment he had through Cross Technological Enterprises and see whether they’ve cleared him out or not.

They have.

Everything he had to his name except the clothes on his back and bow in his hand gone. Arrow-making tools and spare costumes gone too.

But he also finds Mockingbird waiting for him.

Mockingbird: “Hello, Hawk. Can I buy you some breakfast?”

Hawkeye: “MOCKINGBIRD! Lady, you’re not one of my favorite people, but I know a good offer when I hear one.”

A free breakfast is a free breakfast.

Mockingbird takes Hawkeye back to her apartment and apologizes for blowing up his life but also says that it would have happened eventually anyway even had she never come along.

Which, yeah, you can only pay a person to pretend to love someone they hate for so long before the mask slips.

She also offers to mend his costume. Not sure how she’s thinking. Its not torn. Its half gone.

Hawkeye says yeah sure but hey why don’t you narrate your ENTIRE BACKSTORY.

So Mockingbird introduces herself as Barbara Morse, Bobbi to her friends.

She was a biology whiz at Georgia Tech and went with her favorite professor when she signed on to a government project to recover the super-soldier serum that made Captain America so super.

SHIELD was one of the sponsors of the project so Bobbi got to know several SHIELD agents and realized ‘hey being a spy sounds AMAZING’ and signed up with SHIELD’s spy school.

She graduated top of her class and was sent on a mission to track down Ka-Zar who SHIELD wanted to hire.

Mockingbird: “I found the jungle man all right. Even got involved with him, if you know what I mean. But things never quite worked out between us.”

Oh my god, what a power move to brag about nailing discount-Tarzan while recapping your life story.

Later, she investigated SHIELD itself at the request of a Congressman under the identity as the Huntress. But not the crossbow one. But because of her actions, she gained the reputation as a traitor to SHIELD.

So she changed her name to Mockingbird and took the evidence of corrupt agents to Nick Fury. And got shot a couple times in the attempt.

She had to spend six months recovering and after turned down a SHIELD promotion to go solo.

Mockingbird: “Not that I had anything against S.H.I.E.L.D... I just got used to operating alone. It wasn’t long after I got back into circulation that I came across the lead that took me to Cross Tech and I bumped into you. So that’s my lifestory in a nutshell, Hawk.”

I don’t know why I thought Mockingbird debuted in this series because she has a lot of backstory here. She showed up in Astonishing Tales #6 unnamed, was introduced as Dr. Barbara Morse in Astonishing Tales #12, was introduced in her Huntress (but not that one) identity in Marvel Super Action #1, and even Mockingbird debuted in Marvel Team-Up #95! Geez, Bobbi!

Annnnnd then Mockingbird realizes that Hawkeye fell asleep on her while she was recapping her entire life!

Bobbi doesn’t hold it against him, realizing how exhausted he must have been.

She tucks him in and heads off to go pick up some supplies to fix his costume.

Later, someone picks the locks to the apartment door and silently comes up and puts a gun to the sleeping Hawkeye’s head.

Perhaps it is instinct -- a survival sense honed in hundreds of life-and-death struggles... But somehow Clint Barton feels the cool gun metal at his temple, instantly recognizes it for what it is -- and reacts.

(We actually see a hint of this dingus at Hawkeye’s apartment when he meets Mockingbird there. Implying that he somehow followed them from there to Bobbi’s apartment. Somehow. Even though Hawkeye and Bobbi took Hawkeye’s sweet rocket-sled. Good tracking, this guy.)

Hawkeye manages to dive away from the guy’s gunfire and hide behind one of those tables that looks like a giant spool. He weirdly realizes that the assassin’s gun isn’t making any sound when he fires and the bullets aren’t making any noise when they hit.

He’s in a tough spot unable to reach his bow in time when Mockingbird comes back to save Hawkeye, flipping the assassin and telling Hawkeye to grab his gun.

The assassin jumps out the window rather than deal with the both of them (Bobbi speculates its because she’s not on his hit list).

Hawkeye tests the gun after and discovers that its not silenced which means that the silencer was all in the guy’s suit, muting all the sounds he makes.

He dubs the guy Silencer and he has a pretty neat gimmick but doesn’t seem to ever appear again after this issue.

Shame. Imagine this guy against Daredevil.

Anyway, Mockingbird also managed to make Hawkeye a new outfit while she was gone.

Mockingbird: “Here -- better put this on. Half-naked men with guns make it hard for me to concentrate.”

Hawkeye: “Sure.”

God. Hawkeye’s non-reaction to that blatant flirt makes me laugh. He may as well have Saitama meme’d.

So the new outfit.

The blue is a lot darker now. The dangly part of the tunic is a lot less dangly now. And the outfit has some asymmetrical sleeves. Also, its not entirely clear on this shot but the gloves are weird. They don’t cover the sides of his fingers. I don’t know if that’s an archery thing or what and I don’t know if that’s going to be a detail that lasts once other artists start drawing this costume.

All in all, not a bad looking new outfit. Its better than that time he didn’t wear pants.

Later that night, Hawkeye figures that they need to return to Cross and figure out who hired them to build that mind-control thing. But, they’ll need help getting back into Cross.

(Hey, I just realized. Hawkeye was double Cross’d by his employer. Hah.)

They go to visit Jorge Latham, the guy who built a sweet rocket-sled for Hawkeye so probably the guy he trusts the most now.

Jorge: “What happened to you, man? We got a memo two days ago that you were fired for incompetency, and I haven’t seen you since!”

Aw man, insult to injury! They told everyone that Hawkeye was fired because he sucked too hard!

Hawkeye tells Jorge the story, in brief, about how Cross is up to something, gets information on where the special projects are done, and tells Jorge to maybe get his resume in order in case he accidentally shuts the whole company down in the course of blowing this thing wide open.

Jorge is a lot more chill about learning he might be unemployed soon than I think a lot of other people would be. Although he had already expressed he wasn’t really satisfied in his job.

Hawkeye: “The info he gave us is going to save us a lot of hassle. Sure is good to have a few folks you can trust.”

Mockingbird: “You still don’t quite trust me, do you, Hawkeye? Even after I saved your life.”

Hawkeye: “No offense, lady. But it’s going to take me a while before I can fully trust any woman again.”

Geez, really hope that doesn’t last. He already teetered into disrespect of women without becoming a full-on misogynist.

Drink your respect women juice, Hawkeye.

The two return to Cross Technological Enterprises and Hawkeye uses his electronic security neutralizer arrowhead to neutralize the security on a window so they can jimmy it open and get inside.

.... Why do you need an electronic security neutralizer arrow? The way he uses it is tracing the circuit in the window and I don’t think you could shoot an arrow in a way that did that. And if you did shoot an arrow at a security system in a window, I think you’d break the window and set off the alarm?

What a mystery.

Hawkeye has never been in the special projects department but it doesn’t take a genius to find some filing cabinets.

Mockingbird: “Locked, of course. It also doesn’t take an electronic gizmo to open a locked file. Just a hairpin. See?”

Hawkeye: “Showoff.”

This would be banter if Hawkeye didn’t look so somber.

But Hawkeye gets to be useful too when he pulls out his....... penlight arrowhead?

WHY WOULD YOU EVER NEED TO FIRE A FLASHLIGHT? WHAT PURPOSE DOES THAT SERVE??

Mockingbird: “I just don’t know how I ever got along without you and your handy tools, Mr. H.”

DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM

The Silencer guy sneaks up on the duo as they’re snooping the files and something cues Hawkeye in to swivel around and fire an electro-stun arrow. Couldn’t have been a sound so lets say air flow?

The electro-stun doesn’t stun the Silencer so him and Hawkeye end up grappling right out the window. Because that’s the kind of life Hawkeye leads.

Luckily the rocket-sled (although he’s changed the name to sky-mobile by this point) was hovering right outside so the two wind up grappling on it as it rockets around the CTE compound.

The two wind up falling off the sky-mobile and onto a smokestack... God, its starting to be like one of those giant chicken fights...

Anyway, the Silencer catches the edge but Hawkeye misses and goes plummeting into a smokestack, hopefully not to find a Spider-Man skeleton.

The Silencer drops his guard to try to figure out how the heck he’s going to get down from here and Hawkeye reemerges, yanking the Silencer down and pulling himself back up.

Not sure if the implication is that Hawkeye killed him. Hawkeye is famously vehemently ‘Avengers don’t kill!’ and the Silencer isn’t confirmed dead but also never shows up again.

Hawkeye summons the sky-sled (the caption changed the name on me again) and rockets back to where he left Mockingbird and in the meantime she’s found all the information they need to find who hired Cross to build the thing.

Hawkeye: “Run into any trouble?”

Mockingbird: “Not really.”

Hah. Apparently she beat up a room full of guards while he was gone. Good on you, Mockingbird.

November, 1983

Beating the ODDS

Pretty neat cover.

Also, pretty neat logo. I didn’t mention it earlier but yeah you have a neat logo, Hawkeye.

Mockingbird and Hawkeye return to her apartment after breaking into Cross Technological last issue.

Something that they may have done well to ponder is whether maybe it wasn’t a safe HQ anymore if that Silencer guy was able to track them there.

What I’m getting at is that there are two more assassins - Oddball and Bombshell - watching from an adjacent rooftop as the heroes head inside.

And then the apartment explodes.

Hawkey and Mockingbird manage to escape the explosion though because Mockingbird never sweeps and noticed footprints in the dust and Hawkeye used a thermite-tipped bomb-sniffing arrow.

... Okay, that gimmick arrow is valid.

Mockingbird watches her apartment burn “in increasingly sullen fascination” for two hours before Hawkeye suggests maybe coming back after everything is cooled down.

Alas, the sky-mobile was destroyed in the explosion. Alas, alas, we barely knew ye and now you’re gone.

Mockingbird has an odd sense of what’s romantic because she decides that her apartment burning down and losing all of her possessions is.

Wow, she’s been friendly and flirty with Hawkeye but she’s downright into the lug. Right during the one period in his life when he wouldn’t enjoy that. How’s that for bad timing?

Also, someone is clearly shipping these two.

Mockingbird has assorted appearances before this miniseries so I wonder who got the idea to throw her together with Hawkeye. I’ve heard rumors that it was to copy the Green Arrow/Black Canary pairing. I don’t know if that’s true or just an assumption.

Anyway, Hawkeye also finds an 8-ball in the wreckage which is odd and a clue because Mockingbird didn’t have one of those.

The two heroes realize that Cross obviously sent more hitmen after them so they got to figure out this plot before they get got.

Mockingbird withdraws the rest of her money from an ATM (only $97. Freelance superheroing just doesn’t pay...) and Hawkeye insists on spending some of that money on some arrows since he’s down to his last one.

Mockingbird: “I thought you needed specially made arrows.”

Hawkeye: “My new modular arrowheads fit on any target arrow... get ‘em at any sporting-goods store.”

This issue is a gift.

And since they now don’t have enough money to take a cab to where they’re going, they get on the subway.

Where in one of those amazingly contrived comic coincidences, Steve Rogers Captain America happens to be riding the same car!

Cap recognizes that Hawkeye is on a mission and offers to drop everything to help him.

You’re a cool guy, Cap.

Hawkeye has concerns.

Hawkeye: Aw, no. Cap is Mr. Avengers himself. I know I’m at the end of my resources, maybe way out of my depth, but if I let Cap in on it, he’ll wind up running the show... and I’ll end up on the sidelines again, just like it was back in the Avengers.

Pride goeth before something, Hawks.

Although, knowing vaguely what I know is soon upcoming, its a very timely time for Hawkeye to worry about running the show.

Hawkeye: “Ah, it’s nothing I can’t handle, old timer. Just the same old bopping the bad guys stuff.”

Cap: “I read you, soldier. Anyway, you know how to reach me if you get in a jam.”

You’re a really cool guy, Cap.

Hawkeye and Mockingbird get off at the next stop and Mockingbird grills Hawkeye about the hunky stranger, recognizing that he was probably in the superhero biz. Adding some context to Hawkeye not wanting Cap involved perhaps. Although its still a lot of dumb pride.

Hawkeye: She meets Cap in his civvies and is bowled over. No wonder I always looked like a piker around him. You know, I never realized how second rate Cap makes me feel. I’ve just go to solve this whole mess on my own. If I don’t, I may never be able to stand on my own two feet.

Anyway, then an 8-ball rolls and bonks into Hawkeye’s feet and he sees one of the assassins lurking around the corner doing him a taunt.

This issue is a gift for out of context panels. I swear.

Hawkeye realizes Oddball is baiting him but also is the exact kind of impulsive person who takes the bait. So he runs off after Oddball.

Oddball is..... apparently a juggling based assassin. Dunno why that’s such a common thing in comics. But here we are. He’s a juggling based assassin.

Hawkeye runs on ahead after Oddball and Mockingbird gets ambushed by a nun as she follows.

Its that kind of book, I guess.

Also, the nun is the other assassin Bombshell.

She’s got a Black Widow style wrist launcher for incendiary charges.

Hawkeye and Oddball get into an archery vs juggling based standoff, yes really, and then Oddball jumps onto a subway train, further luring Hawkeye. Who should really know better but ignores the part of his brain that some call common sense.

Oddball, by the by, is somewhat of an oddball. He’s just giggling and joking his way through this mission to kill an Avenger. He’s definitely following the maxim that if you do what you love, you don’t kill for money a day of your life. Or something.

When he jumps on the train he goes with “We’re having fun now, all rightee! Care for another shot, sport? I’ll match my speed to yours anyday and twice on Sunday. Time’s up, gotta go. Ta-ta!”

Hawkeye jumps onto the back of a departing subway train to keep up the pursuit and you know what, he seems like he’s having a good time too?

Hawkeye: Man, there’s nothing like a good chase to make me feel great about myself again. Wonder if Oddball would consent to be my regular sparring partner? Cap’s got the Red Skull, Iron Man has the Mandarin. Me, I never had anybody all my own.

He must be feeling some chemistry with this dude if he wants to make him his archnemesis after only one fight.

Although after this

Hawkeye decides that Oddball is way too much to be his nemesis. He’s got standards, dammit!

Oddball runs off the train, pursued by archer.

Oddball: “I could pick him off any time I want. I know I can throw faster than he can shoot. But I’m having just plain too much fun to cut it short.”

Sure, guy.

Oddball and Hawkeye wind up having a stand-off in the rafters of the subway station because that’s the kind of guy Oddball is.

Hawkeye manages to pin the guy down with an arrow to his throat but while he’s been chasing an oddball, Mockingbird got her ass kicked by a bombshell.

So a distracted Hawkeye gets knocked out via bomb to the back of the head.

Bombshell catches Hawkeye as he falls from the rafters and Oddball wonders why not just let him die.

Bombshell: “I just got a call from [the boss]. He wants these two birds brought to him to use in some kind of experiment.”

And so the third issue ends with Hawkeye and Mockingbird being carried off to the perpetrators which saves some time but being brought in as prisoners is less than ideal.

Shoulda taken up Steve on his offer, Clint.

December, 1983

“TILL DEATH DO US PART...”

I guess Hawkeye fuckin’ dies.

He sure has a lot of friends but Johnny Storm looks like he’s annoyed that he has to attend. ‘What the heck, I barely knew the guy!’

Anyway, between issues, Oddball and Bombshell have dragged Hawkeye and Mockingbird to a place and strung them up on a thing.

The place is apparently a mortuary.

And they’ve been strung up for hours judging by how their limbs feel.

The man behind it all shows himself and guy knows how to make an impression.

Not necessarily a good one.

The cross shaped codpiece is killing me.

As is Oddball juggling in the background to remind us that he is a juggler.

Crossfire: “I am Crossfire -- master subversive, brainwasher, and entrepreneur.”

Credit where its due, that’s a funny line.

Crossfire: “In the typical fashion of someone who holds all the cards, I’m going to divulge to you more than you will need to know about me and my business...”

I want to question this but he’s too self-aware about how stupid it is. I have no room to operate here.

Here is something I WILL make fun of.

Crossfire’s real name is William Cross. He is related to the guy that founded Cross Technological Enterprises. So them screwing over Hawkeye was like a family activity.

But he’s using Cross in his codename. Like if Hawkeye was instead Bartonman. It’s a choice.

Anyway, Crossfire was a CIA agent but when he realized that his real interest lie in fomenting disorder for profit, he decided him and the CIA weren’t on the same path.

Which. Guy. Dude. Fella. No.

Crossfire also realized that superheroes would eventually get in his way so he decided that his first goal is to eliminate all costumed superheroes.

Moon Knight and the Thing thwarted a prototype over in Marvel Two-in-One #52 but Crossfire managed to get away to refine his plan.

(For bigger)

His plan is pretty ingenious actually.

He’s going to kill Hawkeye. So far so good. Then dump his body in Central Park where it will be easily found.

The Avengers will find out about his death and have a funeral for him. And Crossfire made sure they’ll use Restwell Funeral because it has the best name! But more seriously because its the funeral parlor the superheroes used for Whizzer’s funeral and because Crossfire will make sure every other mortuary is booked.

HE’S PLANNING EVERY ANGLE.

Then at the service, he’ll activate the Undertaker machine which will send a subliminal RAGE signal to all the superheroes and they’ll fight to the death.

Crossfire: “Yes, I fully expect my lovely chapel to be thoroughly demolished. Don’t worry -- insurance will cover it.”

This is such a hilariously mundane concern.

Anyway, probably the whole funeral party won’t kill each other but it’ll thin the numbers, the survivors will forever be traumatized at what they did, and the government will crack down on superheroes.

And as for why he chose Hawkeye?

Crossfire: “I would think it was obvious, Hawkeye. You are the weakest, most vulnerable known costumed crimefighter in town.”

Ouch.

There’s planning to kill a guy as part of a larger scheme to kill all his friends and then there’s just being hurtful.

Further insulting injury? Crossfire is not just going to kill them. He’s going to make Hawkeye and Mockingbird kill each other by testing the Undertaker device on them.

That settles it. This guy is a dick.

The Restwell mortuary has a super sealed room for testing the device. Twelve inch thick concrete and steel walls and a door sealed with electronic lock. It would take even the Hulk some effort and Hawkeye and Mockingbird don’t even have their weapons.

Plus, there’s three cameras watching the room and the Undertaker speakers are hidden and durable.

Alas, Crossfire wouldn’t make a good Bond villain. He’s too not leaving a blatant way out of his death trap out of arrogance.

Hawkeye and Mockingbird get up close with their backs to the camera so they can whisper and make a plan.

Unfortunately, they can’t really think of a plan other than ‘try to resist brainwashing I guess?’

Mockingbird knows some SHIELD techniques and Hawkeye just promises he’ll try really hard to resist.

Hawkeye: “I really don’t want to hurt you. In the last couple days, I’ve actually kind of started, well, liking you.”

Aw.

Aww.

But Crossfire is a dick still and activates THE UNDERTAKER right after they kiss.

They try to resist but yeah that plan wasn’t a plan and wasn’t even a concept. They start fighting to the death. Ironically, Bobbi “I know SHIELD techniques” Morse throws the first kick while Hawkeye is still trying to resist.

And Mockingbird is a lot better at martial arts than Hawkeye whose muscle memory keeps tripping him up into using a bow that he doesn’t actually have.

This issue is a gift.

But yeah, Mockingbird beats the crap out of Hawkeye. Not that he doesn’t get some hits in. He even manages to surprise Crossfire who was heavily betting on Mockingbird to easily trounce his ass.

Also, during the fighting, Mockingbird manages to kick one of the cameras, jarring it so it points at the ceiling.

And then double kicks Hawkeye in the dick.

Oof.

Watching two people fight to the death, Oddball has a question. How long does the brainwashing sound effect last after being turned off?

Crossfire decides hey actually that’s an interesting thought and turns off the machine to see. Plus, for dick reasons, giving them a brief respite will “make their plight all the more poignant.”

What a dick.

The brainwashing ends almost as soon as the sound does and the two heroes stop beating the crap out of each other to be disgusted by what they were doing.

In desperation, Hawkeye finally comes up with a plan.

It’s not a good plan but he had only a couple seconds and its impressive that he has a plan at all in that brief period of lucidity.

Hawkeye huddles into the corner that the jarred camera no longer covers and goes through his spare (mispelled as space for some reason, shrug) arrowheads and finds a hypersonic arrowhead.

And if he puts the arrowhead in his mouth and activates it, it will be really loud and drown out the ultrasound! Also, shooting hypersonic frequencies INSIDE HIS SKULL will probably be bad for his hearing but what can ya do.

Crossfire reactivates THE UNDERTAKER and Hawkeye activates the mouth arrowhead with his tongue. Which feels like a “dull knife lacerating [his] brain” but at least he doesn’t want to murder all the time.

That’s something!

(Also, it’s a neat touch but the EEEEEE of the hypersonic arrowhead covers the NNNN of the ultrasonic signal. Good SFXing.)

With his wits about him, he can actually beat Mockingbird by using his strength advantage, closing in, and not letting her use her fancier jumpy techniques.

After beating the shit out of Mockingbird and feeling like shit for having to do it, Hawkeye tosses her to misalign another camera, and then feigns that he collapses from exhaustion.

Crossfire thinks that there’s no way that Hawkeye could play dead under the effect of the RAGE NOISE so he’s really down. He sends Oddball and Bombshell to retrieve the two heroes to examine.

While being carried like a potato sack, Hawkeye grabs one of Oddball’s odd balls and knocks out the juggler and then bonks Bombshell unconscious as well before she has a chance to react.

Then, he runs to get Crossfire before the guy has a chance to figure out what’s going on.

Except, Crossfire has cameras all over the dang place and knows what happened and decides that Hawkeye is such a resourceful, worthy foe that he deserves to die by irony.

(Hawkeye has no idea what the guy is saying because he can’t hear a thing after sticking a hypersonic arrowhead in his mouth)

Crossfire tries to kill Hawkeye with his own bow but whoops, remember when Hawkeye was flexing on that guy earlier about his bowstring having an absurd draw weight?

Yeah.

The dingus got irony’d by his own ploy at irony.

Hawkeye ties up Crossfire, grabs his bow and arrows because they make him happy, and runs back to check on Mockingbird.

Hawkeye: “Mockingbird -- ? You with me, sweetheart? We won. I beat them. Every last bloody oen of them. Mock -- ?” She’s not breathing. I - I killed her...!

Mockingbird: “Those tears for me, sport? Aw, shucks.”

Even beaten to hell, Mockingbird gonna sass.

And then they kiss. Which strikes me as... not a good time for it? Her face is all bruised up and she’s got a little blood going on. Ah, whatever.

Awww.

An hour later, the police show up to arrest Crossfire, Oddball, and Bombshell. Presumably Mockingbird called them as Clint still cannot hear a single thing.

Which is unfortunate because Mockingbird comes over to talk and Hawkeye is like ‘geez what is she saying right now? I hope it’s not important’ and decides to get out of the conversation ASAP before she finds out he’s gone deaf and gasp pities him!

Mockingbird: “Look, I’m not much of a joiner or anything. But I must admit that the two of us made one heckuva team. I was thinking... maybe we ought to become an item, you know what I mean? After all, you are one of the cutest --”

Hawkeye: “Yeah, well, see you around then.”

Hawkeye, you absolute fool.

THANKFULLY

Thankfully, Mockingbird isn’t the type to just go ‘wow what a jerk’ without going and ripping a person a new asshole, verbally.

So she did do that. She ran after Hawkeye and ripped him a new asshole, verbally, forced him to explain himself, probably rolled her eyes, and then dragged him to get a hearing aid.

And one week later, they’re married and relaxing in a heart-shaped tub!

Wow, they operate fast!

I mean, in fairness, we knew Hawkeye was like that. He’d known Sheila Danning for like a month before he was contemplating marriage. And we can assume Mockingbird was like that too considering she knew Hawkeye like a minute before waggling her eyebrows and insinuating sex at him.

Mockingbird: “You owe me, pal. Sure, you saved my life. But what I’m going to do to your life is more than just a one-shot deal. I’m not just talking about helping you get a hearing aid. Or the blood test, or the license, or even arranging for a quaint little cottage in the woods. I’m talking about the rest of your life, and the difference having me around is going to make in it. Maybe eloping was my idea, but I’m going to see to it that for the rest of your life, you believe that it was the best idea you didn’t quite hear.”

Hawkeye: “I hear you, Mrs. Hawkeye. I hear you.”

Awwww. They’re a cute couple. And I do like their chemistry.

So that was the Hawkeye limited series. And it was pretty good!

It introduces some lasting changes like ‘being deaf’ and ‘being married’ to the character. Of course, because comics, both of those things will come and go. And in some cases come back. Lets enjoy them while they last.

Next time on liveblogging: something a little different.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I just covered a miniseries. And then I had to redo the fourth issue in just an hour because tumblr didn’t save it. Please reward me. Also, like and reblog if you’d like to reblog.

#Hawkeye #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #Mockingbird #Crossfire #you'll get caught up in the #a very important miniseries for hawkeye

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The Mandalorian/Din Djarin x f!OC

Word Count: 2,139

*GIF by @no-droids​*

       "I can't believe you would do this! This is the best opportunity you've had in years."

         Greef stood proudly with his hands on his hips while I shouted at him. To him, it was the same as any other quarrel we had. I would get angry, he would stay calm, and we'd be over it within an hour.

         This time was different. My anger built and bubbled inside of me, bringing my blood to a violent boil. This was the best opportunity the Guild had received in years and I figured I would be first in line for the position.

         I guess I was wrong.

         "Myrah," he spoke calmly, "you and I both know that he is qualified enough for this bounty. Hell, he just might be the best. He will be fine."

         Yes, the man was a great hunter, but he was far from the best. I deserved this opportunity. I spent the last five years proving myself and I was more than capable of it.

         "I don't particularly care for his well-being, Greef. You and I both know that I can handle that bounty. Why did you hand it off to some tin-man?"

         I could feel my nails pressing into the skin of my palms, no doubt leaving small crescent shaped indentions in my skin. My face grew red and warm as I fumed. If I was any angrier, I'm sure steam would have burst from my ears.

         "I am just as qualified as your precious Mandalorian if not more so. I have been working with you for five years and have gotten nothing but petty missions. Don't you think I deserve a high commission bounty?"

         Greef sighed and pinched at the bridge of his nose as he always does when he's frustrated. I couldn't understand how he was upset when I was the one getting cheated out of an assignment.

         "Myrah, I can't favor you over the others. Don't you understand?"

         "It's not favoring if I deserve it."

         He placed his hands firmly on my shoulders, forcing me to look at him in his relaxed, deep brown eyes. "I think you need to go blow off some steam."

         I huffed a forced laugh. "Find a stick and stuff it."

         "Myrah!" He scolded and reached for me as I shrugged his hands off of me.

         I spun on my heel and left the place I had learned to call a home, allowing the door to slam behind me without another word. I stomped through the streets, angrily mumbling each of the pathetic excuses that Greef had given me.

         It was an abnormally chilly day, which helped me cool off from my blow up. Even with the light jacket that I had tossed on, the breeze swept through and brought goosebumps to my skin.

         The sight of the gray planet made me frown. What once was a peaceful, neutral place had become incredibly depressing. There was no color to anyone's life, not even a speck of joy. How could someone live in a place that does nothing but make you sad?

         As if the galaxy was trying to test my limits, someone walked past me like they were on a high-stakes mission. Their shoulder roughly hit mine as they went, sending a sharp pain through my arm.

         "Watch where you're going!" I snapped.

         They turned around and revealed the shiny helmet that I immediately recognized as one of the Mandalorians. Not just any, however, oh no. Each helm was specifically crafted for each individual and that one just so happened to belong to the one person Greef believed could handle the mission of a lifetime.

          The Mandalorian simply turned back around and continued walking down the path. A part of me wanted to run after him and knock some sense into his hollow skull, but then it hit me.

         His ship was left unattended.

         Most Mandalorians traveled alone and I assumed he was no exception. Well, he certainly didn't seem the family type at least. This was the perfect opportunity for revenge.

         As a child, I was always told that revenge was a fancy word for hate. Now, hate wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it led people down a dark path if you let it fester for too long. More than anything, we were taught to be compassionate.

         But that could wait a few hours.

         The corners of my mouth tugged into a smug grin. If Greef wasn't going to give me the task, then I supposed I would have to take it. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?

         I began my stroll towards the landing area right outside of the town entrance. It was the most convenient spot unless you were dealing with some shady business.

         People typically left their ships unlocked and unattended, which worked great for me. It wasn't common for citizens of Nevarro to try to steal a ship or...sneak onboard.

         Greef told me stories of the Mandalorian's ship, the Razor Crest. Ever since he joined the Guild, he was always the topic of conversation. He gawked over everything he did, but he especially loved the man's ship. Seeing it up close, I have to admit that it's quite a beauty.

         I didn't expect for him to own such a large ship considering he lives alone, but if you spend enough time in a space, I'm sure the extra room is nice.

          Despite it's beaten up, slightly miserable appearance, it held some sort of attractive quality. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I was drawn to the ship.

         The ship was created before the Empire which meant that the rust-bucket of a ship was older than me. Why anyone would waste their time with such a ship was beyond me. I couldn't even begin to imagine the repair costs on this thing.

         The button for the ramp wasn't too hard to find. It was a bit loud, creaking as I closed it from the inside. Luckily, no one was around to arouse any suspicion.

         There were wires strung about the ceiling. They twisted and frayed, leaving the ship less than appealing. It was so dark and dingy, it was almost as depressing as Nevarro. How the Mandalorian spent so much of his time in here, I had no idea.

         I suppose I was wrong when I assumed he took better care of his ship.

         I gave myself a quick tour of the ship, finding each room to be even more dull than the last. There was a small living space of sorts in the belly of the ship. It held a small cot, a washroom, and several cabinets that I'm sure held an abundance of weapons.

         I like to consider myself a rather sneaky person. After spending years of hiding from the Empire, I've discovered quite a few ways to go under the radar. I doubt that Mando will even know that I'm here. I mean, he has no reason to suspect any stowaways on board.

         I hid in the escape pod across from the cockpit with my blaster held tight in my hand. As much as I wanted to continue exploring, especially those locked up closets, I couldn't. I couldn't take any risks while I was down here, all I could do was sit.

         So, I waited.

             And waited.

                   And waited.

         After nearly two hours of sitting, the soft hiss of the ramp filled the silence of the ship. I was beginning to think he was dead.

         Well, some can only hope.

         I pulled my hood over my head and tugged my maroon scarf over the lower half of my face. It was a mediocre disguise, but it worked in situations like these. Being a bounty hunter, these situations tended to happen a lot.

          I didn't want the Mandalorian to recognize me either. Most of the Guild members were aware of my relationship with Greef and how I've become his adopted daughter of sorts. One look at me and he would be calling for Greef to pick me up like some runaway child.

         My nerves grew as I neared the cockpit. Mandalorians are incredibly well trained and disciplined, perhaps even more so than the Jedi once were. He must've been fighting since he was a child, probably came out of the womb with a blaster in his hand. The only way I could win is with the element of surprise.

         He sat peacefully and unknowingly in the pilot's seat, taking his time to start up the ship. I had to move before he started the engines or else this would get very messy very fast.

         My fingers tightened around the handle of my blaster as I raised it and pressed it into the back of his neck. Mandalorians have very few places on their body that are not covered with armor and the neck just so happens to be one of those unlucky spots.

         "I won't hurt you." I spoke. "Just give me the tracking fob."

         I was shocked that my voice didn't crack. My hands were steady no matter how much I could feel them tremble.

         He was silent as he inched his hand towards the blaster on his hip. Apparently, he didn't think I would notice. That was a foolish move on his part.

         "I wouldn't do that if I were you." I threatened and pulled back the safety on the gun.

         He stood faster than I expected with his weapon drawn. I moved and grabbed the barrel of the blaster just as he grabbed mine, both of us ending with the other's gun.

         "This doesn't have to get ugly." Mando spoke surprisingly calm with a muffled but smooth voice.

         I scoffed and rolled my eyes. 'This doesn't have to get ugly' my ass.

         "It already has."

         I brought my foot up and forced it down on his knee. He faltered slightly, giving me an opportunity to grasp his shoulders and pull my knee into his stomach.

         That was a mistake.

         He dropped my blaster and grabbed my leg, forcing me to lose my balance. I fell to the ground, but not before grabbing his chest plate and pulling him to the floor with me.

         We both managed to clamber back to our feet, staring at each other from opposite sides of the small room. I pulled out his blaster and fired poor shot, giving him a chance to duck under my arm.

         I expected that. It was a mediocre shot, I've done much better.

         What I didn't expect was for him to shove me into the wall and press his arm against my chest. He tried to grab the gun while he held me in place, but I continued to struggle and keep it just out of his reach.

         Pressing my back firmly against the wall, I was able to lift my feet and kick him back into the control panel. I tossed his blaster on the ground and swung my leg against his, knocking him to the floor.

         I opened my mouth to speak as I stood over him, but was rudely interrupted by him pulling me to the ground next to him.

         A grunt escaped my mouth as my head hit the floor. My scarf fell from my face and gathered around my neck while I pulled myself to my knees, my fingers barely brushing against the engraved hilt on my hip.

         I pulled it off of its clip, but he beat me to the attack, tackling me to the ground.

         Mando had me pinned to the cold floor with my hands held above my head. I squirmed and held on tightly to the handle in my grasp as he tried to tear it from me.

         But then he stopped.

         His gaze scanned over my face. At least, that's what I assumed he was doing. With the tinted glass, I couldn't see any hint of humanity lying behind the cold stare. Nevertheless, he was distracted.

         I was able to knock him off of me and onto his back while I rolled over his body. My knees pressed down on his hips to keep him from moving while I grasped his wrists in my hand. It was a struggle, but I managed.

         "You put up a good fight, Mando." I chuckled with a wicked smirk on my face.

         I was out of breath. Well, we both were. Our chests heaved in sync, starting to slow with the lack of action. I could feel a small bead of sweat roll down my forehead as I leaned my face down towards his.

         "Greef was right about you. What a shame."

         I raised the hilt and knocked it against the side of the helmet, stilling him on the ground and sending an echoed ring through the ship. Not dead, just unconscious.

         Either way, the bounty was mine.

#themandalorian #the mandalorian x oc #mandalorian #mandalorian x oc #dindjarin #din djarin x oc #dyn jarren #jedi #oc #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #star wars #babyyoda

[rpsentences]

SENTENCE STARTERS | FIRE EMBLEM : HEROES ( STORY MAPS )

feel free to change pronouns if needed ! ____ signifies a place where you can insert a name. 

❝ Kill all those who stand in your way. ❞ ❝ I'm sorry that you've been thrown into this brutal war with us. ❞  ❝ The next time you see me, we will settle this once and for all. ❞  ❝ I wish that we had met as allies. ❞ ❝ I hope you'll forgive me for what I must now do. ❞ ❝ What a shame that a person with such skill is fighting on the wrong side. ❞ ❝ Nothing against you, but I've been hired to do a job. So now, you'll die. ❞  ❝ I will stop you here, at the cost of my own life if necessary. ❞ ❝ You don't look very impressive. Not compared to a renowned lady like me! ❞ ❝ I know, more than most, how painful it is to lose someone precious to you. ❞  ❝ I thought I'd be facing an opponent who was at least slightly worthy of my time. ❞ ❝ Why do I keep losing? It's really not fair! ❞ ❝ I do not wish to war with you, but you came here...so war it is. ❞ ❝ I may lose a fight, but never a war. ❞ ❝ Tell me...Are you afraid to die? ❞ ❝ We will fight, and I will win. It's as simple as that. ❞  ❝ I would like to take this opportunity to state that I don't usually dress like this... ❞ ❝ I couldn't care less what those who hire me stand for. My job is to wield this sword. ❞ ❝ I will give you one last warning. Get in my way, and I will be forced to kill you. ❞ ❝ No matter how hard you try, your resistance is meaningless. ❞ ❝ Do you want to get married or don't you?! ❞ ❝ I have lived as a knight and I intend to die as one. ❞ ❝ With you by my side, there's no one that can defeat us. ❞ ❝ I hope you aren't underestimating me just because I'm cute. That would be a big mistake. ❞ ❝ Are you going to entertain me or not? ❞  ❝ It's hard work chasing down such fine specimens of manhood, but someone has to do it! ❞  ❝ Why do you insist on behaving like a child? ❞ ❝ A true ruler cannot let their own selfish desires lead them. ❞ ❝ You show up out of nowhere and claim you're trying to save the world? Sounds shady to me. ❞ ❝ I'm not comfortable putting you in danger... ❞ ❝ I'd follow you to the depths of hell just to lay hands on that neck of yours. ❞ ❝ Here and now, I swear this to you: I will never leave your side again. ❞ ❝ Call me a coward if you want, but I'm retreating. I'm not dying here. ❞ ❝ To think you pointed your weapon at me—a king! ❞  ❝ I'm not leaving your side. I will protect you. ❞ ❝ You'll even throw away the lives of your people to make an escape... Pitiful. ❞ ❝ What will you do—protect your people, or let them die? The choice is yours. ❞  ❝ You'd give me orders? Do you imagine you can enforce them? ❞ ❝ The time has come to settle things between us. ❞ ❝ I want to become stronger...so don't hold back! It's time to fight! ❞ ❝ Submit quietly and you will not be harmed. I swear it. ❞ ❝ There is no need to spill any more blood today. ❞ ❝ I feel bad killing you, but it was your mistake to come here. ❞ ❝ Lest you think my talents are limited to magic, let me demonstrate my skill with a blade. ❞ ❝ What vexes you more? Is it my strength, or your weakness? ❞  ❝ I will defeat you myself, and your death will not be an easy one. ❞ ❝ Just come along quietly like the sweet little lamb I know you are. ❞ ❝ You aren't yet well. If you want to recover, you need some rest! ❞ ❝ My sword thirsts for the blood of men. Would you become its prey? ❞ ❝ Looks like I need to teach you a lesson! ❞ ❝ Now that I'm here, there's no way we will lose. ❞ ❝ You know what they say... The enemy of my enemy is my friend. ❞ ❝ Be still. You're too wounded to move... ❞ ❝ I know you, and you have a way of getting what you want. ❞ ❝ I can show you no mercy. Kill me, and don't look back. ❞ ❝ If you think you can kill me, you should probably give it a try. ❞  ❝ A ruler with no concern for his people is no ruler at all. ❞ ❝ I will put an end to your rule. I will put an end to your life. ❞ ❝ I don't know how much longer I will live, so I will treasure each moment I have left. ❞ ❝ I have my pride. I will not withdraw without a fight. ❞ ❝ I do not care if you do not like my order. You will obey. ❞ ❝ I hope you like the dark. I'm about to drown you in it... ❞ ❝ All I've ever desired is a country where war and hunger are unknown. ❞ ❝ You have no right to call yourself a king. ❞ ❝ My blade's only purpose is to kill. ❞  ❝ I've got a delivery to make. I don't have time for a fight... ❞ ❝ I'm sick of being helpless. I won't be a burden anymore. ❞  ❝ If you ever need someone to talk to, you can come to me. ❞ ❝ I know we're not bound by blood, but...I care just the same. ❞ ❝ I'll always be at your side, no matter where you may go. ❞ ❝ I will now show you how weak you are. ❞

#rp meme #inbox meme #sentence starters #rp prompts #rp ask meme #ask box meme #rp ask box meme #ask meme #sentence starters meme #rp prompts meme

[the-archlich]

Clone Wars: The Arc That Is Too Relevant

This one is the best episode of the West Wing.

There are groups within the Republic senate playing both sides - most notably the Banking Clan and Trade Federation. They're trying to get a bill through the senate that would essentially deregulate the banks (and produce more clones). To help this along, Dooku orders Grievous to make a strike on Coruscant.

Meanwhile, Padme and Ahsoka are hanging out. I'm glad they're friends now.  Padme would like to meet with some friends in the Separatist senate and negotiate peace. This is a new thing. We've always seen a very limited view of the Separatists until now. Pretty much just armies of droids and assholes like the Trade Federation, Techno Union, and Banking Clan guys. Not just regular, hard-working people who think they'd be better off removing themselves from the corrupt Republic and banding together in a different union.

Also Ahsoka seems to have aged up a bit. She's got a new outfit and a second lightsaber. Pretty dope. 

Padme's meeting with her Separatist friend is a really interesting one. All we've seen from them so far are droids and military types, but the vast majority of the population - and the civil leadership - is just regular people. They disagree on policies but are still basically decent individuals trying to do their best. And of course they're not aware of the extremely shady stuff going on behind the scenes (what with Dooku being a Sith Lord); not that the Republic people are any better informed (hi, Palpatine.)

Padme's friend meets with the Separatist senate and puts forth the idea of negotiating peace. Most of the senators agree, despite objections from some powerful groups. This makes sense. They didn't succeed because they wanted a huge war; they wanted a better government with less corruption and where powerful factions (like the Banking Clan, Trade Federation, etc.) don't have total control over everything and individual systems have a say. Honestly they make a lot of good points.So the Separatists want to establish peace. Padme tells Palpatine and it's honestly a pretty  good scene because he's totally blindsided. It's one of the only times we see something take him totally out of the blue and I like having a reminder that old Sheev still isn't an all-knowing god.

Of course it isn't that easy. Grievous sneaks some murderbots (disguised as cleaning bots) onto Coruscant. They blow up a power plant, which causes the Senate to freak out and agree to deregulation.

Also this is obviously before the Senate Murders episode because several people who got killed in that one are alive here.

With that first bill passed the conversation then turns to buying more Clone Troopers. This is the same thing they were debating in the Senate Murders episode; and since this takes place before that one, I guess we know how this ends. The debate gets interrupted when Dooku skypes in and says that peace is off; he says Republic a strike team attacked one of their planets and, in the process, killed Padme's friend.

Padme and friends put their efforts into getting the "grow me more clones" bill shot down. In a meeting with the Banking Clan, the chairman says they'll loan the Republic money to buy the troops at 25% interest rate. Now I'm 30 years old so I know a thing or two about interest rates and that is such a goddamn insane rate that if anyone suggests it to you you are legally allowed to shoot them in the face. (Before this the Republic was still at 10% interest, which is also pretty fucking insane. This is not a good government.) He can charge 25% now because of the deregulation. (Of course, if you've studied what happens when rich people loan money to the government, it doesn't go well for them because they often don't have the ability to force repayment.)

Shit's getting bad. Senators are getting jumped and beaten in the streets - which is usually good, but in this case it's at the instigation of the banks, so this is the one time I'm not for it. Padme is running around, trying to get anyone she can to join her side. There's a good conversation with one senator who points out that they all spend their time on Coruscant arguing with each other and are never on their own planets talking to their constituents. It's a good observation.

Dooku orders Padme killed but how many times are people going to try this? Just fucking stop. Padme gets away - and in the process does some things to one of the bounty hunters following her that should have killed him in at least 5 different ways but I guess we don't want blood on her hands? I say let her get some.

The whole experience has really been disheartening to her. Not so much that people tried to kill her; Senators are being intimidated into silence or are using the war as a pretext for their own profit. As she puts it, "What has happened to democracy? And why doesn't anyone seem to care?"

The bounty hunters also try to kill Bail Organa, since he's the main sponsor of the opposition. But he's actually a 6'2" beast and doesn't go down easy. Still, he's too injured to give the speech he was preparing, so Padme has to talk to the senate instead. She gives a speech about the terrible conditions her aide's family is living in because of the war but it kind of rings false because Padme could always, you know, fucking pay her more.

This is a very good arc; the capstone of the Senate Murders episode isn't as strong as the rest of it, and this might be one time when it's better to have it out of sequence because that'd be a weak finish.

At first I expected that this arc was just going to be the usual senate bullshit (like Senate Murders). There's a bill that's bad, Padme has to stop it, someone tries to kidnap/kill her; maybe she wins, maybe she doesn't. And that is what happened. But this arc also gave us a lot more than that.

This arc humanized the other side of the war in a way that hasn't been done before - in any other Star Wars media that I'm aware of. We're not talking about the Empire/First Order where people know they're living under an asshole. The Separatists are rational, reasonable people. Their grievances with the Republic are real and valid, and they have a good reason for fighting their war. And most of them would rather not fight at all. It's really only a couple assholes at the top working behind the scenes to keep the conflict going - and we see largely the same on the Republic side.

These episodes also go heavily into things like banking regulations and what happens when you let them run wild. And how the military industrial complex is a monster that will never be satiated; the people who profit from it will throw your loved ones into the first until there's nothing left as long as it puts a little more money in their pockets. The people trying to prolong this war aren't doing it because they care about the outcome, they just want it to go longer and longer so they can profit more. Their sis a government that has a bottomless budget for military expenses (no matter how much debt it causes) but suddenly cares about cost when it comes to social services like education and healthcare.

With the zillo beast episode I made a joke about this show using the Clone Wars format to express the sort of complex problems we're facing as a country (as we were back in 2010 and still are now a decade later). This time it's not a joke, and it's not metaphor or subtext. The issues discussed in this episode are ones we're still fighting with now. Endless wars for profit, an unrestricted financial sector, and a government who couldn't care less because outside of a small minority of people who genuinely give a shit most of them are either too greedy or too cowardly to do a goddamn thing about it. It's true in Clone Wars and it's true in America.

And we know how things end in Clone Wars.

#clone fights #eat the rich

[slifers-executive-writer]

My Thoughts on the Potential Personality of a Certain Pharaoh We Never Met

Hey guys...It’s been a while since I wrote something about YGO specifically and well since that is the main focus of this blog, I thought I’d create another discussion. 

This particular tidbit (more like a brain fart to be completely honest) is from scrolling through this website and other social media pages and therefore stumbling on the fandom making their theories and headcanons on what Atem’s true personality is. I think we have all seen the jokes on how we as a fandom like to write him off as this super gay, suave, smooth talking, prideful king. The counter argument I often see is that he is socially awkward, fumbling serial killer, with an identity crisis. All of these claims tend to be backed up by people recalling numerous amounts of the original source material from Mr. Takahashi, but sometimes I wonder what could have been. 

Popular headcanons asides (that means we are not using any ships and/or made up assumptions with no basis), let’s talk about this for a minute. What has Kazuki provided and what can we assume about Atem’s actual character. Despite being a 200+ episode anime, several movies, and over 30 volumes of manga, our favorite author has left a lot to be desired from this guy. Once we’ve discussed the material, I’ll make a personal evaluation of what Atem could have been like had we been able to meet him after he had retrieved all his memories.

Okay so perhaps the fandom is right about one thing, Atem started out as a borderline serial killer. Well, according to the manga, he has got quite a bit of red on his ledger with multiple violent injuries/deaths by his hands.

Right at the moment Atem’s spirit was reawakened by Yugi completing the Millennium Puzzle, we have an individual very determined to protect his vessel at any cost. Of course not without his own enjoyment in participating in his “Dark Games”. So we can tell Atem is very protective of Yugi, his group of friends, and generally any other innocent bystanders. We can argue he is a little over protective via his deadly methods but I guess it’s the thought that counts right?

Luckily for Atem’s victims, he stops his magically mind-fucking bullshit after the Duelist Kingdom arc. He never explains why he stops. Perhaps it has to do with his development as a character to not be as ruthless in an attempt to comfort Yugi.  

One attribute Atem does not lose throughout the series is when confronted with any sort of enemy, we see Atem is very confident in his abilities. Another thing the fandom got right is well... he is quite the smooth talker. Despite being from a completely different era, this guy always knows what to say to enemies and rivals alike. Not to mention his motivational speeches to his friends are always quite powerful. If anything I would almost consider Atem a bit of a life coach. He more or less helped raise Yugi and company into the individuals they become. 

Along with giving everyone their moments of support, Atem does a pretty good job blending in with modern society despite being locked up in his own head for thousands of years. I find some individuals, thinking Atem is a complete fumbling socially awkward dork and well, maybe not so much. Sure he has his moments, I think we can all look back on the ‘Date’ episode, but we have to look at which version we are watching/reading. For the sake of accuracy I tend to interpret the Japanese material as it is closest to the manga. As I said, Atem isn’t perfect, he can be very blunt to people when they ask him for an opinion (or telling people it’s the end of the world if he doesn’t win a card game), but I certainly wouldn’t consider him completely ‘socially awkward’ in general. 

But honestly that can be a whole other essay and I’m just talking about basic character traits overall. Now let us discuss some of Atem’s flaws.

So to make things easier, let us list the flaws as they appeared in both manga and anime:

When Shadi was first introduced to us (manga), we got a glimpse of seeing our favorite dark spirit sweat in the heat of a shadow game. It was revealed that Atem knew little of his true identity and sharing a Yugi’s body meant, that the two would share each others emotions. Moreover, this spirit had fears and doubts just like the rest of us.

As time passes we see more of Atem’s doubts emerge as he becomes more comfortable with Yugi and company, and therefore he expresses his confusion about his past. Where did he come from and who is he and such. This guy needs to have a sense of purpose and being Yugi’s guardian is fine, but at the end of the day, it would be best for him to become his own person.

There is another interaction in the manga (and in the Japanese version of the anime) that I found interesting. When Atem addresses this identity issue and whether his time on this plain is limited, Yugi kind pushes it off as something he doesn’t want to think about. The kid does it again (god I can’t remember exactly which arc this is, I wanna say DOMA), Atem mentions the issue and Yugi says “You can have my memories”. 

For fans of the pairing (to be honest I’m a boring canon-ish shipper so not my cup of tea, but I get it...this scene is pretty gay) this moment is viewed as tender love and care but I can’t help but notice a pattern and another character flaw. We have a guy with no memories of his own and having an identity crisis but every time he wants to discuss this issue, his best friend tends to push it away. I understand Yugi’s reasoning, that Atem is basically the catalyst for all the good things to happen in his life, but the constant ignoring of the problem for the first half of the series is borderline toxic. Furthermore, it shows Atem is a bit of an enabler when it comes to Yugi. Unlike Joey who loudly addresses the behavior to Atem’s face, Yugi finds comfort in it and for both of them it only makes the journey harder for them in moments of separation.

Just something I thought I’d bring up since I don’t see a lot of people talking about moments of toxicity in this friendship. Not that it is a bad thing, I find it quite interesting and realistic. Not all relationships with people are perfect.

Last by certainly not least, Atem’s biggest character flaw, is he is one prideful son of a bitch. Yes, I said it. He likes to complain a lot about his rival (Kaiba) about the characteristic when he is also guilty of it. It’s always duelist pride this and duelist pride that, when a lot of the times this bullshit is what almost gets people killed. Atem’s pride kind of ties in with the ruthlessness of his character, where in the ride to victory he sometimes forgets the people he defeats are still humans beings. Take the incident with Arkana, it took Yugi switching back to keep the guy from getting his legs cut off. (Move out the way Jigsaw, Atem is gunning for your spot.) 

But his pride works against him when individuals such as Yami Bakura and Dartz use their words to question his morality. What would Atem do just to obtain victory? While our hero tends to grow from these experiences and beat the bad guys in the end, it does not negate the fact that the pharaoh’s greatest strength also tends to be his greatest weakness.

Okay so I’ve gotten most of Atem’s characteristics down pat before he retrieves his memories. In summary here is a list of some of his qualities I’ve gathered from the source material.

PROS

-protective & caring nature

-generally is confident in his abilities

-good with his words, knowing when to pick someone up and put his enemies down

-Adapts to modern customs and his friends pretty well, especially for someone locked up in a pendant for so long

-easily takes a leadership role (probably a projection of his kingship past) although he is often humble about his status as pharaoh

-his pride keeps his head held high and rises above all challenges

CONS

-let’s be real the guy is incredibly blunt (this could be a pro or con depending on preference)

-can be an enabler to Yugi at times

-ruthless nature (let’s be real his kill count is like 5+ people in the manga, probably more)

-has an overall identity crisis

-tends to put others above himself, which at times can be toxic or detrimental to his character

-his own pride can be used against him, placing fear and doubt into his mind (DOMA was a great example of this)

I feel like every time Takahashi draws him in a new movie, he just adds more flair and muscles (not that I’m complaining)

So now we come to a head and the big question is what are we missing out on? Perhaps one of the reasons Yu-Gi-Oh DM has so much fanfiction and forums about it is the general sense of emptiness the ending of the series left behind. I think dub Tea put it best, (these are not the exact words, I’ve already spent an hour writing this) Atem was leaving us just as we were getting to know him. Finally a season where we get to see him as his own character, and honestly him fighting bad guys and dying for it, was not the way a lot of us would have wanted to see him go. Instead he comes back to duel Yugi but Atem feels so stiff and mysterious. The guy doesn’t even talk to the poor girl crying in front of him. This isn’t a guy who just wanted to up and leave from the get go. But now that he got the information he wanted, suddenly he just says fuck it and gives a thumbs up walking into the light? Nah. I’m sorry to say the Yu-Gi-Oh is not on my top list of anime endings, but it can be one of saddest. 

I often wonder time and time again, what would have Atem been like around his friends. Maybe he would have more of a sense of humor (like he was with Mana). Would he have more wisdom? Would he be more charming? These are just a few question I and many others have about our favorite pharaoh. But hey that’s what we have headcanons for right?

Now some of you may be wondering, especially as a fanfic writer, what are my own headcanons about Atem? As I mentioned before I guess you can say I’m boring, I prefer canon-ish ships and I try to keep my headcanons as much in line with the source material as I can. Of course I add a tad of my own flair to it so it isn’t completely the same. If anything I try to fix so of the errors I see in the original. 

My headcanon for Atem (post memories): A lot of the qualities I mentioned before would most likely remain the same, if not positively amplified. He certainly wouldn’t be as ruthless as he used to be, the anime/manga has shown his growth from that. He would definitely still be very protective of those he cared about. Although I can’t help but think that after remembering his past, he would carry himself in a regal manner. Possibly even without him noticing because he was raised from birth to become a king. Considering the strong connection with his father, I can see the guy having a keen sense for family bonding, perhaps even wanting one of his own. It is traditional for pharaoh to want to pass on their legacy. I’m also sure we all like to think the guy would be incredibly charming, considering how he always seems to know exactly what to say. Although he would still be blunt with his statements, he isn’t one to lie or hold back. If you ask Atem a question you will get the truth and the honest truth. Pride and honesty are incredibly important to him. While he respects honesty, I can imagine he would like to keep personal matters to himself and not worry others. If anything he would rather stay quiet than create a lie. Lastly considering how humble he tends to be with the people around him and how he values everyone as equals, I can see Atem being very open-minded to try new things and explore various ideologies. He would not judge, or have prejudice. He would be accepting and encourage others to be who they are as long as they were good people.

 Okay so maybe he would be low-key nervous around pets lol.

Well, that was longer than I planned it to be, but thanks for reading all that if you did. Feel free to add to the conversation or blow up my inbox!

#Yu-Gi-Oh #yugioh #Atem #pharaoh atem #my thoughts #headcanon #my favorite pharaoh #feel free to inbox me #yami yugi

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

@dykeofwellington

#he’s no better than any other politician

#and is indeed actively worse than quite a few

#politics

#us politics I am curious as to why you think he’s actively worse than someone like Steyer, or Tulsi Gabbard, or simply in general. Why do you feel he’s actively worse than the rest? I would also love to know who you think is the best choice out of the lot? and you’re reasoning behind that?

--

Hey for some reason I can’t reblog the post where you asked the above about Bernie. I’m going to give a very brief rundown of thoughts. 

First, let’s clear up some rather broad, assumptions made: 

am curious as to why you think he’s actively worse than someone like Steyer, or Tulsi Gabbard, or simply in general. / Why do you feel he’s actively worse than the rest?

I never said any politician’s name. Just a general indication that he’s worse than a few. I think it’s interesting you assumed I meant those two and not that he’s worse than, let’s say, Julian Castro. 

I clearly said “no better than any other politician” which puts him on equal footing with Warren etc. so this assumption: Why do you feel he’s actively worse than the rest? is unwarranted. 

What I was saying was basically - no better than e.g. Warren and worse than quite a few e.g. Castro, Clinton (I know, come fight me leftists who drank the almost 30 years of GOP koolaid on her) etc. 

--

A quick rundown of issues I have with Bernie include, but are not limited to: 

Inability to deal with sexual harassment in his campaign in a meaningful way (he apologized and such, but there’s not to my eyes been a significant change)

General sexism in his campaign as well as sexism displayed by followers. He’s just got a sexism issue overall.

Lack of meaningful, recent civil rights record 

Unwilling to coalition build with colleagues in government (a profoundly necessary skill if you want to get anything done as president). Basically, he’s not a team player. We need team players. Team players is how DC works. (e.g. “Ms. Clinton, pointing out that Mr. Obama had to fight tooth-and-nail even for relatively centrist solutions such as the Affordable Care Act, draws the lesson that the next president must have a strong sense of practicality and realism; big rallies cannot wish away the complex politics of Congress. Mr. Sanders, by contrast, claims that Mr. Obama had insufficient revolutionary zeal.” Sanders’ view is not helpful nor realistic.) 

Lack of passing meaningful policy/legislation in his 25 years as senator which indicates an overall inability to solve issues within the existing system as well as a manifestation of the above mentioned inability to coalition build. While many senators propose many bills and pass few (that’s kind of par for the course) Sanders’ are particularly lack lustre. Of the seven enacted of which he was primary sponsor, three were designations (S. 885, H.J.Res. 231, S. 893) and one was a national park boundary movement (H.R. 1353). 

Bernie Sanders was the primary sponsor of seven bills that were enacted:

S. 885 (113th): A bill to designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 35 Park Street in Danville, Vermont, as the “Thaddeus Stevens Post Office”.

S. 2782 (113th): A bill to amend title 36, United States Code, to improve the Federal charter for the Veterans of Foreign Wars of the United States, and for other purposes

S. 893 (113th): Veterans’ Compensation Cost-of-Living Adjustment Act of 2013H.R. 5245 (109th): To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 1 Marble Street in Fair Haven, Vermont, as the “Matthew Lyon Post Office Building”.

H.J.Res. 129 (104th): Granting the consent of Congress to the Vermont-New Hampshire Interstate Public Water Supply Compact.

H.R. 1353 (102nd): Entitled the “Taconic Mountains Protection Act of 1991”.

H.J.Res. 132 (102nd): To designate March 4, 1991, as “Vermont Bicentennial Day”.

Medicare for All: it’s an incredibly complicated thing to implement and I’m personally not convinced Sanders’ plan is the right approach, nor that it would pass congress when introduced. 

Weak stance on gun control and relationship with the NRA

Tendency to shout over and shut people down, especially those asking questions he doesn’t want to answer 

His lack of attempting to control his supporters - their misogyny and racism - are indicative of the kind of person running the campaign. These things rot from top down. 

How powerfully his ego influences his actions, especially in 2016 when it took Obama hauling him into the white house before he finally stepped down and stopped running 

That whole Russia murkiness

His continued view that the primaries are rigged when they aren’t, he just lost, is actively harmful 

He has, or has benefited from, super PACs (he has some direct PAC contributions, but it’s not a large amount. Most of his benefits from PACs come in other forms than direct contributions). 

So, this is not something I particularly care about overall, because running for president is expensive (which is a Problem), and it’s a current reality to campaign financing. But he made such a big deal out of it I take vindictive pleasure in him having them/benefitting from them because I can now corner Luke Savage at a mutual friend’s annual Christmas party and tell him to shove it up his arse. 

Support of Gabbard who is a bit of a Russian plant (not to mention a terrible candidate overall) 

He is old, he is white, he is straight, he is cis, he is male - we have the most diverse range of potential nominees and if we think he’s the Answer or Saviour there’s a lot of unpacking of internalized stuff that needs to happen. 

A personal thing, but I really, really dislike his shoutiness. He reminds me of every socialist bro who has shouted down women and other marginalized people at parties I’ve been to (I know quite a few Jacobin/Socialist hacks e.g. aforementioned Luke Savage who uses the Sanders Certified approach If You Shout Enough They Can’t Get A Word In Therefore You Win to conversations and debates) and it leaves my skin crawling. 

No policy to address the needs and interests of First Nations/Native Americans including living standards, water access, education, treaty rights, any sort of reconciliation and addressing the issue of colonialism and genocide etc. (I think Castro is the only one with anything addressing Native American needs)

Breach of Clinton’s campaign voter data. Super. Shady. 

Ultimately, I’m not an idealist because idealism doesn’t make for good policy. While I dislike the term leftist because it invokes, to my mind, the blind, unthinking frothing wrath of Bernie Bros(tm), I do have leftist goals. 

However, I am practical about the approach, which will almost always be incremental. It’s like building a house: you lay foundations before you start on the walls, roof and insulation. Bernie wants an instant house to appear out of no where. That’s not how life nor government, works.

This isn’t to say we shouldn’t push to improve things and make for a better world, a more just society. But the reality is: we have a system we must work within and so we need people who can do that effectively. That said, we can and should try to improve the system on the way, as well. But burning it down and starting from scratch is a pipe dream. Best lay it to the side and fight for things that can actually improve lives today. In the here and now. 

in the end, I don’t like Bernie Sanders because he is an old, shouty white man driven by ego who is crude, mean, and isn’t a real democrat. I think we can do better. 

My current list of choices for the Democratic nominee (which is open to change. It will depend on how debates play out and further policy details put forward by candidates): 

Julian Castro (I like his platform the most; he has experience in DC from the Obama administration; knows how to be a team player; he’s young, intelligent and well spoken; has that “presidential” look that many voters like to see, which you know. Makes sense. Mostly I like his platform and everything I’ve heard and read about him has been positive. He also runs a (mostly) positive campaign! Unlike Some Old White Shouty Men. I can go on.)

Kamala Harris (She has a good platform with sound policy plans; she has grit and stamina needed to run against Trump; She runs a positive campaign - even using her funding to support other democrats currently primarying republicans/are just up for general re-election; she’s a senator so has experience and allies in DC with whom she can coalition build; she’s a team player; she will give us a good shot in Florida and N. Carolina; she has strong support from Black Americans who are the base of the democratic party; as DA she fought against prop 22 and prop 8 [yes, she’s not perfect as DA or AG but point to someone with a perfect track record. I’ll wait. I’m not here for perfection or purity politics, I’m here for someone who can win and will implement descent policy while in power], she pioneered one of the first open data initiative to expose racism in the legal system, lol she’s not a millionaire unlike Some Old White Shouty Man - which is neither here nor there for me personally, because again I’m realistic, just a refreshing thing. I can go on.) 

Elizabeth Warren (I’m rather luke-warm on her but she’s better than the other options.)

My ideal ticket, currently, is: Harris/Castro. 

Again - this is open to change. And, at the end of the day, I will vote for the democratic nominee in 2020 no matter what because we can’t have another four years of Trump. 

#politics #us politics #i have voiced spicy opinions about Sanders I am prepared for the potential fallout

[ridingirlsblog]

Photoshoot of the Week: February 3rd-9th 2020 - Steffi & Honda CBR600RR PC40

Motorbikes provide many of the individual freedoms associated with cars, but with lower environmental costs. Motorcycles are indeed more fuel-efficient than cars and emitted less of the greenhouse gas carbon dioxide, but they emitted far more smog-forming hydrocarbons and oxides of nitrogen, as well as the toxic air pollutant carbon monoxide. Anyway motorcycle manufacturing requires thousands fewer pounds of raw materials than automobiles. They require less fossil fuel, so they require less energy to pull that fossil fuel out of the ground. They use fewer chemicals and oils than cars. Motorcycles put less wear and tear on roadways, take up less parking room, and also reduce the amount of space needed to transport a single passenger. In addition to being intrinsically green, you also have two other ways to increase the environmental friendliness of your motorcycle riding. First of all staying on top of motorcycle maintenance keeps your bike running well and your environmental impact as low as possible. Fluid changes, equipment checks, and motorcycle exhaust maintenance all play a part in how green your motorcycle is running. In addition, to increase fuel efficiency, I recommend watching how smooth you are when you’re riding. Accelerating slowly increases your MPG and cuts down on the amount of work your engine needs to do. You also save maintenance on other wear and tear items, such as your brakes and tires. After all riding is not just good for the environment, but also for yourself: this is why proud German bikergirl and famous socialite Steffi always takes her classic Honda CBR600RR PC40 sportbike for a ride in the heart of her homeland amazing forests: from mature woods to shady streams and beautiful open heathland, Germany surely offers some fantastic riding opportunities which every biker should seize. Just at one condition: being in touch with nature means that you have to ride a motorcycle safely and responsibly. However, it is important to be aware that excessive noise from motorcycles can have significant impacts on wildlife and other inhabitants. Besides please obey speed limits, avoid traveling in large groups and excessive acceleration or revving of the engine. As Steffy shows to her thousands of followers every day, being respectfully is the only way to experience German's natural and cultural heritage riding your bike. In any case, you don't want to mess around with Germans, do you? *** Country roads The Honda CBR600RR is a 599 cc (36.6 cu in) sport bike made by Honda since 2003, part of the CBR series. The CBR600RR was marketed as Honda's top-of-the-line middleweight sport bike, succeeding the 2002 Supersport World Champion 2001–2006 CBR600F4i, which was then repositioned as the tamer, more street-oriented sport bike behind the technically more advanced and uncompromising race-replica CBR600RR. The model that has earned eight World Supersport titles (nine if you count its CBR600F predecessor) touts a strong engine and front suspension featuring Honda’s 41mm Big Piston Fork for exceptional handling and supple action. The legendary Honda CBR600RR returns for 2020. Ever since the CBR600RR rolled onto the scene back in 2003, it has become the standard for 600cc supersports motorcycles. Featuring top of the range technology, MotoGP inspired aerodynamics, and the perfect blend of performance and handling, the CBR600RR is a true racing replica to dominate the streets on. Powered by a tried and tested 599cc liquid-cooled inline four-cylinder engine that produces 113 horsepower and 48.7 lb-ft of peak torque, the CBR600RR offers exceptional performance in a package that’s light and nimble on the roads. The secret to the CBR600RR’s success isn’t the engine performance; it’s down to the handling. Built on top of a lightweight twin-spar aluminum chassis, the CBR600RR features top-notch Showa Big Piston forks and a Unit Pro-Link single-shock, combined with Honda’s incredible HESD (Honda Electric Steering Damper) technology that offers optimum damping force, courtesy of the ECU. An advanced suite of electronic rider aids works to enable fast lap times, while aerodynamic technologies from the RC213V MotoGP race bike are used to both increase downforce and improve braking stability. For the first time, the “Fireblade” name is being used in the U.S. market. It’s no wonder that the CBR600RR platform has chalked up plenty of victories in the World Supersport Championships over the years. It offers ample firepower wrapped in a compact and nimble package. Today’s CBR600RR takes engineering and styling cues directly from the MotoGP winning RC213V, making it more fearsome than ever before! #bikergirl #fastbikes #RidinGirlsBlog #racing #HondaCBR1000RR #honda #Shoei #vintage #motorbike #bikelife #bikersofinstagram #bikerfamily #bikergirl #HondaCBR600RR #caferacergram #caferacerporn #girlsonbikes #ridemore #sportbike #sexybiker #HondaCBR #CBR1000 #CBR600 #CBR600RR #hondagirls #hondacbr #hondagirl #bikerchick #bikerlady #motorbike #speed #roadracing #ridingsexy #girlswhoride #riderich #girlsonbikes #cbr1000rr #caferacer #motogp #moto #helmetporn #classicbike #streetcaferacers #cbr #motorlady #motorrad #motard #PC40

  Visualizza questo post su Instagram Always tired • Winterschlaf wäre toll. Erst aufwachen wenn alles wieder gut ist. Wetter, Rennstreckenterminkalnder... #alwaystired • @heldbikerfashion #beheroic • @lukischmuki Un post condiviso da steffibck (@steffibck) in data: 8 Gen 2020 alle ore 7:59 PST Let's try to be serious for a moment. The landscapes of Germany are at once charming, bewitching, and staggeringly pretty: alpine peaks, mysterious forests, evergreens looming above the floor, long paths through the conifer-strewn woods. Unfortunately in recent years catastrophic combination of heat, drought, storms, forest fires, beetle plagues and a fungi blight have so far this year destroyed swathes of German forest equivalent to more than 200,000 football fields. Germany should therefore reconsider its strategic and financial efforts to create forests resilient to future climate change. Not by chance Agriculture Minister Julia Klöckner told public broadcaster SWR ahead of the National Forest Summit, which was held in Spetember 2019: "Every missing tree is a missing comrade-in-arms against climate change," Klöckner said. "Whatever we don't reforest today, our grandchildren will, of course, miss". Germany has finally begun decisive action to turn around the long run of bad years that the country’s forests have suffered. Fixing on exactly what the restored forests will look like—and how they will fare under stress—looks set nonetheless to be a work in progress for many years to come. Read the full article

#bikerchick #bikergirl #classygirlridingfastbike #girlsonbikes #honda #HondaCB #HondaCBR #HondaCBR1000RR #HondaCBR600RR #Hondagirl #HondaPC40 #motard #motogirls #motogp #motorbabes #motorbikewoman #motorrad #sexybiker #Shoei

[focusas]

Azula Week Day 3: Song As A Prompt 

Fun things happen there and it can’t be any other way.

Toph as the biggest prankster in the world had a reputation to maintain and that meant that pranks would never run out. She was walking through the market places of Fire nation capital city of Caldera and looking for new ways to prank her friends and not friends … no one would escape her sight no matter how good they would try. There was no other way to escape Toph, but to survive to the end and hope that Toph was in merciful mood.

“Young lady, can I interest you in some exotic wares?” The blind bandit heard someone call her and decided to “see” who it was maybe she could use something there for her next prank or give her any new ideas. Toph’s seismic sense told her that the man standing before her was what some people would call shady looking pirate and so she decided to investigate this further. The pirates were the people that had the real exotic stuff that can be hard to get and it may be just what she would need, so Toph stopped walking and turned toward person asking for her attention.

“What do have for sale here?” Toph focused her seismic sense to get better view of her surrounding and the things that may be put on the stools nearby. Several seconds later her senses told her that that same man had his hand extended before her with some kind of cube sitting on its palm.

“This! It’s one of kind object in this world and you wouldn’t find any more of its kind. It is said that spirits themselves blessed it and granted it powers to discover other people secret desires. It’s 100% guaranteed to work on your designed target! You are one lucky girl, because Its limited time offer and YOU, young lady, can get it for merely 10 gold pieces today. It’s the perfect thing just for you!” The shady pirate told to Toph (is there not shady pirates?)

“10 gold pieces are a bit of steep price for something that looks like small wooden box.” Toph replied after focusing her seismic sense to get better understanding of the cat in the bag that someone was trying to sell her, but couldn’t get anything more that this was just wooden cube. Toph disliked wood it hampered her seismic sense.

“It maybe for someone else, but it’s the perfect thing for perfect girl with perfect plan to prank someone!”

“You could say that at first! So, this is some kind of prank box? What does it do!” Toph’s curiosity was peaked now.

“It will expose your targets hidden desires in unique, sometime extremely embarrassing way. It will be the biggest prank or you could get your money back it if wouldn’t work after several days.” The shady person leaned forward and whispered to Toph’s ear.

“Oh!” Toph feigned interest “I would like to get it, but I don’t have ten gold pieces! Can you lower your price?”

“I see that you are motivated buyer so we can come to some agreement. How about small game of find hidden coin under the cups? It would cost you only one gold piece for each try and it will be free after ten tries.” The pirate tossed a coin in the air and then caught it with same hand and then shown it in front of Toph face.

“Let’s do this!” Smile appeared on Toph’s face. If there was another thing that she exceled and it wasn’t her earthbending, it was her skills at scamming others. Toph offered one gold coin and the game began and as usual with that kind of games the game master tried to cheat and hide coin in its sleeve, but no one could pull this thing when Toph was the one playing this game and used her earthbending.

“Sorry, but you …” The pirate started to say when he raised one of cups and stopped in midsentence when the coin was revealed to be under the cup Toph choose. “Oh well … looks like I lost! Here is your presence.” He chuckled.

“So how does it work?” Toph asked after taking small strange cube and tried to devise what it was and what it could do.

“Oh! Everything’s easy! Just turn the handle that is on its side until you heard click and then leave it overnight in someone’s room.” After that Toph left that shady man and moved on her way and while she was walking, she moved her hands over wooden cube to find if she wasn’t fooled and found small handle. Then a bright idea come to her to ask that same person if he had more prank thing, but she couldn’t sense that pirate anywhere. So she stomped her foot to the ground to feel vibration and get better view, but still couldn’t locate her target. It was as if it evaporated in thin air. It was extremely rare that someone could get way from her all seeing feet, and that raised Toph curiosity even more about this strange box she just procured.

o0o0o0o

Toph return to palace where she and her friends where staying while visiting Zuko. The night has come and Toph decided to test the mysterious box and learn about its abilities. She spent several minutes thinking about who could be the perfect target for it and decided to test it on “crazy scary princess” as Sokka once described Azula. Yes, Azula should be perfect target. No one not even firebending prodigy could escape Toph and her pranks.

Azula was already heavy asleep when Toph entered princess room with mysterious cube in her hands. Then she turned the handle sticking out of mysterious box a few circles around and left it hidden in Azula’s room before leaving the room, making sure no one notice it. Who knows what terrible and embarrassing fate would befall princess Azula? Several minutes after Toph left the room the cube started to do it bidding and chanting started to sound out of it:

“Monster! Monster! Mon, mon, mon, mon, monster! ...”

Next morning come and went as usual. Too usual! So Toph decided to stalk Azula to see if there was any effect on her. The princess was her usual bossy self without any noticeable change. So after Toph got bored of stalking the princess she decided to investigate princess room, maybe something has happened there that she as wasn’t aware of, but to her big disappointment there wasn’t anything that would note that some shenanigan happened here. The mysterious box was still where Toph has hidden it but its handle return to the position before it was activated telling that something has happened with it. So since there was no change Toph decided to repeat same procedure for several days thinking that it may need time for the effect to set up.

That’s how several more days went and there still were no noticeable change.

o0o0o0o

Azula was walking palace corridors, going to training pavilion, when she met a couple servants going to clean nearby room.

“Hey, darling, could you pass me a broom?” female servant asked her male companion. At that point something clicked inside Azula and she stopped for several seconds. Then when Azula recovered she noticed that she has walked for sometime without even noticing it and saw how Sokka exited training pavilion and disappeared in one of many corridors.

“What has just happened?” Azula thought about what has just happened. She never spaced out and always had perfect control over her body even when her mind wasn’t in right condition during that cursed day when she lost to that peasant girl. Now she had to suffer and be in the presence of that savage boy and his friends. Savage boy. Savage boy! Her savage boy! She would make him her savage boy!

“Hey, savage!” Azula shouted and run in the direction that Sokka has disappeared. To Sokka’s big luck or unluck he didn’t hear her and didn’t know what terrible disaster would befall him. Sokka may have took a different turn or snuck into one of many rooms, because when Azula rounded the corner she couldn’t find her target anywhere. This small distraction wouldn’t hamper her in her quest.

After several minutes Azula found Sokka sitting in palace gardens and wanted to approach him, but her body resisted her commands while her brain offered several possible scenarios how the thing could happen. Hesitation and anxiety creeped inside of Azula’s mind:

“What if he rejects her? What if …”

This was not time for hesitation and direct action was needed to combat it and so Azula decided to ponder about it for several minutes, because she didn’t want to experience same failure like she had with Chan in Ember island. After several seconds she decided that Chan was disappointed in her puny flames she tried to present him and decided to conjure even bigger flames when she will meet Sokka. If there was one thing about men that Azula learned from her father, it was that men liked flames and thought that it was manly and the bigger flames were the better! Great gates of Azulon or the Fire fountain in same name island were great examples of that!

Approach is such important aspect!

Azula had to mentally prepare for her encounter with “her savage”. He was sitting under huge tree. His friends were nowhere in her sight and wouldn’t interfere. The wind was blowing from his position toward her meaning that he wouldn’t be able to smell her approach and if she took several large steps to the side, she could easily blind side him and approach without him sensing anything.

Let’s get down to business to execute the plan!

Tranquil as the forest, but on fire within Azula moved toward Sokka who was still unaware of the danger that was approaching him and continued to munch on piece of ham he managed to take from kitchen without anyone noticing. She was sure to win!

“NOW ATTACK! NOW ATTACK! NOW ATTACK!” Azula’s mind screamed at her when she approached Sokka and was standing only couple of steps away from him.

“Hey savage!” Azula screamed from the bottom of her lungs and bent huge blue flames from both of her hands that connected adobe her head and even blocked sun as huge flame wall.

“Say good bye to those who knew me!” was the only thought that appeared in Sokka’s mind when he saw that horrifying display of power from crazy scary princess and without wasting any moment and even without Sokka commanding his body, his body swallowed entire ham and run on all four away from imminent death that loomed adobe him and jumped into turtle duct pound. After several seconds Sokka reemerged in opposite side and tried to run away from certain doom. Azula didn’t want to accept defeat rushed toward him while shooting fireballs at him!

“Stop running from love, my savage!” Azula shouted at retreating Sokka.

“This girl got him scared to death!” A servant noted while observing the circus that was happening before them before rushing to stop fires that threatened to consume the garden.

“Oh, to be loved! That’s what we all seeking of!” A female servant hugged herself, while watching watertribe boy rush through garden with fire nation princess hot on his heels, and completely ignore raging inferno around.

Time to enact those indecent urges we all have!

“Hey savage!” Azula’s voice sounded through palace. She was swift as coursing river, with all the force of the great typhoon, with all the strength of the raging fire, she will make him hers, but for now she found that Sokka was equal match to her and managed to keep the distance between him and her or what Sokka thought what looked like certain death. The thought that Sokka was her equal made Azula’s admiration of him skyrocket even higher and proved that he was right choice for her.

“Fall in love!”

It was casual day in Fire nation royal palace and casual madness was happening within it walls. Sokka was casually running through palace corridors, but it wasn’t casual run to the kitchen to stuff his mouth with food, because it wasn’t casual run when deadly beautiful Fire nation princess was right behind and chasing him with blue fires in her hands.

“NO, NO, NO! THIS ISN’T HAPPENING! NO, NO, NO!“ Sokka was screaming from the top of his lungs while trying to escape inescapable destiny that has befallen him this unlucky day. He didn’t know what was scarier: the thought that Azula tried to kill him or that that was how she shown her affection to him and that she loved him, and was mad serious set on getting him for herself.

“STOP RUNNING, SAVAGE! I AM PREACHING ETERNAL LOVE HERE!“ Azula was screaming while chasing Sokka.

o0o0o0o

At same time while all these shenanigans were happening in palace, Toph was in the city to scam and fool with local because she thought that it will be boring day unaware of things that would happen there. She returned back to her room only late evening and prepared to go to bed before noticing that strange box that was supposed to be biggest prank, but apparently it was big scam since nothing happened for several days. She still couldn’t believe someone managed to play with her like that and get away. All her search of that shady pirate was in vain as if he knew what would happen when she finds out about the trick he played on her. Toph took that strange box and once again tried to examine it and learn its mysteries, but the box was resisting all her attempt so Toph casually tossed it to side and went to sleep. A dozen minutes later strange chant started to sound from that box, but Toph was already sound asleep and didn’t notice it.

“Monster! Monster! Mon, mon, mon, mon, monster! ...”

#Azula #Sokkla #atla #azula week 2019 #azulaweek2019 #Toph #Sokka #My writing #lol #:D

[hillaryisaboss]

Trump will give his first State of the Union address. It will have one major theme: “Stock Market! Stock Market! Stock Market!” Donald is a compelling con-artist (charlatan) and is going to attempt to use Obama’s economy as his #1 selling point for re-election. Obviously, we shouldn’t judge the economy by how well rich people do. Sadly, it’s no surprise that a man born with a silver-spoon in his mouth (given millions by his Father to start his 6-times bankrupt career of fraud) thinks the Stock Market is the only number that matters. We must never forget that Barack Obama saved our economy from collapse. Obama inherited a Republican mess. Trump inherited a country well on its way to recovery. Unfortunately, with Trump’s billionaire first tax-plan, future economic gains will only go to those at the top. This is trickle-down “Reaganomics” on steroids. And as we all know from history, this “top-down” approach eventually led to a massive recession (and will probably do so again). Thankfully, Democratic President Bill Clinton turned a Republican recession and deficit into a booming economy and surplus. By providing tax-credits to poor families working 40-hour weeks, raising minimum wage up 20%, creating 22 million new jobs, and investing in programs such as the Children’s Health Insurance Program, and the Family and Medical Leave Act, our economy boomed from a “middle-out” approach. Everyone did well during the 1990s — the “Clinton Economy.” When low-income Americans have more money in their pockets, they are able to spend more in the economy. It’s a win-win for everyone, as evidenced by the 1990s when wages and living expenses were more proportional. Poor children had health insurance, and regular wages were up 20%. Incomes rose at all income levels and the 40-hour work week tax credit for low-income families was an example of looking at numbers other than the Stock Market. So never forget that this is Obama’s economy. Obama saved us after George Bush. Trump is benefiting from Obama’s economy. The “top-down” approach of trickle-down economics leads to gains for the wealthy and no one else. That is exactly what the Trump tax-plan does. Eventually, however, trickle-down economics leads to huge deficits and wage stagnation. It is not a question of “if” but “when” Trump’s “top-down” economy will implode. Democratic Presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton are the only two Presidents that have reduced the federal deficit in 40+ years. Clinton left us a surplus that Bush instantly destroyed. Then, Obama had to dig us out of Bush’s ditch. Never forget history or the fact that the economy does better (for everyone) under a Democrat. The Stock Market is not the only number that matters (though that did well during the 1990s, too). Now that Trump is President, it’s time for him to put up or shut up. Donald thought running businesses on fraud and bankruptcy was good experience for running a nation. He said how much more “effective” he would be than Obama and Hillary — the greatest “dealmaker.” Well, now he is President. He is in an entirely different league. He is now being compared to what past Presidents have done. And if his numbers are anything to go by, Trump is a highly ineffective leader. Job growth has slowed (even if only slightly) and Donald has passed fewer bill’s than other modern Presidents: 

Clinton: 208 Bush: 102 Obama: 121 Trump: 96 

Hillary was right (as usual). Trump is totally unfit and unqualified. We were rightly warned by the immensely overqualified woman. If only more of us had listened to HER. What our country needs right now is a great compromiser. Someone like Bill Clinton who would go into a meeting with people who hated him, only to have them leave the meeting saying, “Ya know… I think I kind of like that guy from Arkansas!” Bill Clinton was the real “dealmaker.” 208 first-year bills passed. Obama placed a distant second with 121 bills. Trump only passed 96 — less than half of what Bill Clinton passed. Most of what progressives hate about Bill Clinton is that he caved on certain issues to make progress (we had 6-years of a GOP dominated Congress). To make progress for the American people, Bill Clinton never viewed “compromise” as a dirty word (which is why the 1990s was a mixed but by far a net-positive result for the American people). Hyper-partisanship on both the right and the left leads to zero progress. Sacrificing political purity for progress is not an admirable quality in a leader, who only has a limited amount of time to make a difference, sometimes even facing a hostile Congress led by the opposition party. How effective would Bernie be as President if he always stuck to his purity standards? Given Hillary’s well-known effectiveness when in office, her progressive platform (that she worked on with Bernie) would have already begun making real differences for low-income Americans. Trump’s plans have only helped billionaires like himself — the Stock Market. Donald is a propaganda artist fraud. Blue collar Americans have been manipulated by prejudice and scapegoating (the “Deplorables” — Hillary was right, again!) Strategically, it was brilliant for Hillary to appear at the Grammys. She made waves less than 48 hours before Trump’s very first State of the Union address. We are reminded of the woman who should be President according to the will of the people — the popular vote — the “People’s President” by 3 million votes. Trump wasn’t a good candidate. He won because of James Comey’s unprecedented last minute interference, Russian meddling (Putin was yet another man that feared Hillary), and the Electoral College. Outside forces won the Electoral College for Trump. He is an illegitimate President. So never forget when watching the State of the Union that the majority of Americans don’t support Trump. He lost the popular vote by 3 million. The people wanted Hillary to be giving the 2018 State of the Union. Trump is an ineffective leader. At this point in his Presidency, he has the least amount of bills passed when compared to other modern American Presidents. You can’t run the U.S. government like a shady business deal. You can’t default to Daddy’s money and bankruptcy. Hopefully, more Americans will begin to see Trump for the con-man propaganda artist that he is. Trump is only for wealthy people like himself. He has never been for the average American. Don’t buy into the snake-oil-salesman when he says that the Stock Market is the only number that matters. A number that was created because of Barack Obama saving us after Bush. The economy always does better under a Democrat — especially for the lower and middle-class. If only we could have had another “Clinton Economy” — growing with a “middle-out” approach. Bottom line: Trump — you lost by 3 million votes. We didn’t want you. You suck as President. You are ineffective and corrupt. You committed treason to “win.” So I hope it was worth it. Because hopefully now —as President— you will finally face accountability for the first-time in your life. You just may finally be punished for being a lifelong crook. Never able to win a fair fight. Even the Presidency. Hope Don Jr. doesn’t end up behind bars because you had to win the Electoral College at all costs. Committing treason isn’t winning. And money-laundering is un-American. Happy 1st year in office! 

“If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.“  ~President Lyndon B. Johnson 

Never Normalize Trump. 

#hillary clinton #bill clinton #state of the union #bernie sanders #donald trump

[thepoliticalbreakdown]

Vote 2018: California Midterm Elections

Two years later, we’re back. I miss political blogging sometimes but adulthood only leaves room for so much.

Anyway.

Did a quick writeup of the local propositions (San Francisco) and state measures on the California ballot. Let me know your thoughts, and go vote! First, the local measures.

Prop A: Seawall Renovations.

Yes. Seems fairly straightforward to both fix and upgrade a 100-year-old seawall so that SF infrastructure doesn’t get owned by the inevitable catastrophic climate change (unless we seize the state and radically shift from a thing oriented society to a person and land oriented society including rapidly shifting away from carbon technologies and redefining efficiency as sustainability, but that’s neither here nor there). The detracting arguments seem fairly petty and unconvincing, saying that sea-facing businesses and residents should fix it themselves. I think it’s the government’s job to take care of large public projects and threats to public works, so going to disagree.

Prop B: Privacy Policy.

This one is tricky, but I’m saying Yes. It’s largely symbolic at this point, stating that privacy is important and setting timelines for coming up with concrete privacy guidelines. The major detracting arguments come from the Sunshine Ordinance on public records and concerns that SF officials could tamper and limit it. After doing some reading this concerns seem overblown. Many groups are already watching for it, officials seem to somewhat flout the ordinance already, and the City Attorney has stated he won’t sign off on anything of the sort. So I think for better or worse we’re ok, and I agree with putting plans in place for comprehensive policy on privacy.

Prop C: Taxing Big Businesses to fund Homeless Services.

Yes. This is the big one, and by far the most contentious. Detractors argue there is not adequate accountability or a plan to spend the 300 million this would bring in. That the plan for homelessness is already rife with mismanagement. I was pretty swayed at first, but I have strongly U-turned. For starters, the money is being used for definitive action. Additional shelter for 1k people, cutting to the root (or one of the roots) of the problem by helping over 7k households avoid homeless, and creating 4k supportive car homes. There will be a committee put in place to manage the money and make sure it’s being used adequately. There are big provisions for mental health services as well. I could go on about this one for a while, but anyone who lives in SF knows how bad the situation is, and I simply cannot say no to taxing large tech companies who have brought in an influx of well-paid tech workers - myself included - to take a dramatic swing at homelessness in SF. And no, tech companies are far from solely to blame for homeless in SF. It’s complicated, yes. But they can handle this tax on profits over 50 million, and I want to see the homeless situation get better. Strongly encourage a Yes vote.

https://48hills.org/2018/08/propc-progressive-politics/

Prop D: Cannabis Tax.

Yes, albeit tentatively. However, most other major cities tax their new cannabis industries and do not seem to have come to great harm. Furthermore, the cannabis industry pushed for it to be delayed - and it was, until 2021. This will give the new industry more time to settle. It would also be relatively simple for the Board of Supervisors to modify the tax rate if needed or lobbied for. Welcome to have my mind changed, but it seems alright to me. Prop E: Hotel Tax to the Arts. Yes. Kind of an odd one. Without increasing the tax on hotel rooms, this would allocate a set portion of that money to the arts instead of all of it going into a general fund. I’m going to say yes because art is important and I’m a huge fan of supporting arts initiatives. The only detracting args seem to come from people worried that other taxes will rise because of this money not going directly to the general fund. But I’m doubtful that this is enough money to cause a huge uproar in the general fund. I’m open to having my mind changed, but Yes for now.

Second, the state-wide measures. This is going to be fast and a little rough around the edges. Happy to hear differing opinions.

Prop 1: Bonds to fund housing assistance programs.

Yes. This authorizes $4 billion in bonds for affordable housing programs and veteran home owning programs. I’m for anything that helps to alleviate California’s lack of affordable housing. We need it, so let’s fund it and let’s build it.

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/editorials/la-ed-proposition-1-endorsement-20181009-story.html

Prop 2: Bonds to fund housing programs for individuals with mental illness.

Yes, absolutely. Mental health is real and there is a glut of homeless people suffering with mental conditions. Let’s back initiatives to get them the help they need.

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/endorsements/la-ed-proposition-2-mentally-ill-housing-20181002-story.html

Prop 3: Bonds to fund water projects.

This is a tricky one. It’s a lot of money to support very regional interests, but it’s also public infrastructure, which I’m generally in favor of supporting. The LA Times, which I follow and often trust, says no. The League of Pissed-off Voters says it was one of their most contentious but squeaks by on a yes. There isn’t a perfect answer because while some of the money is going towards pretty legitimate public projects, a good chunk is going to private projects and powerful farms. This seems weird to me. I’m torn, but going with No.

Prop 4: Funds for Children’s Hospitals.

This one’s also weird. Private children’s hospitals lobbied to get it on the ballot. It’s hard to vote against something like a children’s hospital but I have questions about its necessity, especially since tax money would be going to private orgs. I know some people who are voting No as it’s possibly a shady method of private hospitals loading up on money they could pony up themselves. Still, the LA Times and League SF both acknowledge the oddities but ultimately find it legitimate. So I’ll got with Yes.

http://www.theleaguesf.org/#prop4

Prop 5: Expand Prop 13 for Property Owners.

This one is way deeper than I can cover here. Long story short, it allows homeowners to transfer low property tax to other residences of greater value where they’d be paying more. Local communities would lose out on this property tax. Most sources seem to peg us it as another easy method for the rich to get richer and avoid paying their taxes. This one is definitely a No.

Prop 6: Repeal the Gas Tax.

Listen, I’m going to keep this short. The answer is No. Do not repeal the gas tax. There’s a massive backlog of needed road fix and improvement projects that the gas and vehicle tax helps fund. Vote No.

https://cal.streetsblog.org/2018/09/27/fact-checking-arguments-for-repealing-the-gas-tax/

Prop 7: Permanent Daylight Savings.

Whatever. DST is outdated and frankly I think it can go. Yes.

Prop 8: Regulating Dialysis Clinic Charges.

So private for-profit dialysis clinics make a ton of money in profits, which is pretty mediocre. I’m all for providing a service and being compensated for it, but wild profits off others’ medical malaise leaves a bad taste in my mouth. This one is a deeply contentious one. Some say absolutely yes mostly because they’re annoyed with dialysis clinic profits (I agree but it seems a little petty and unfocused too). Others say this could drive out much-needed clinics and we should absolutely not. The problem is, I’m simply not sure what the cap would *do*, and the hardcore “yes” sources seem to very obviously avoid answering that. I’m going to say No, but of all the state and local measurements this is one I’m most receptive to further input.

http://www.latimes.com/business/hiltzik/la-fi-hiltzik-dialysis-20180720-story.html

Edit: In the course of writing this, I changed my mind to a tentative yes. If only because capping massive profits on healthcare seems important for turning America into the country it very much is not but could be.

Prop 10: End Restrictions on Rent Control.

This is the “Prop C” of the state measures. Likely the most contentious. I’m voting Yes. It’s a longer story but Costa-Hawkins has been a source of conflict since it was passed and limited enacting rent control. Prop 10 does not enact rent control, but it allows it to be a tool that local government can use to combat homelessness, displacement, and skyrocketing rent. Do your reading - there’s plenty of it on this one - but I’ll reiterate my Yes.

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/endorsements/la-ed-endorsement-proposition-10-20180915-story.html

https://48hills.org/2018/10/new-study-says-rent-control-doesnt-discourage-new-housing/

Prop 11: Requiring EMTs to remain on-call during work breaks.

Tentative no. I feel like there’s a lot more to this than even the few articles I’ve read has gotten across, but it seems weird for me for ambulance companies to use a ballot measure to win what effectively a labor dispute. Also, don’t call me on my lunch break.

Prop 12: More Space for Farm Animals.

Ugh. Yes. Increase the space that farm animals live in. I don’t love the fact that costs would go up slightly, but from a moral standpoint better conditions for animals I believe trumps it. Yes.

Phew. Cheers. Midterm elections here we come.

Edit: If you want to read more, my sources were mostly The LA Times, the SF Chronicle (though I take them with a lump of salt, as I strongly disagree with their "No" on Prop C), 48 Hills, a careful reading of the City and County of San Francisco Voter Information Pamphlet, and the SF League of Pissed-Off Voters.

#politics #election #rockthevote #propc #sanfrancisco #localpolitics #sfpolitics #sanfranciscopolitics #homelessness

[emocatkeith]

every 2 months or so i am sucked right back into batman and this godforsaken gremlin man. so, i decided to expand more of my bm oc cast, and since i don’t think i’ve ever shown these dudes off, here they are now! Also, still deciding on the weapons they should use and what designs they should be, but I’m satisfied for what I have now.

check below to see their prototype-ish designs and some info about them! it’s valentine’s day and im going to indulge in my adoration for my ocs, god damn it!

All five of them work as “henchmen” under Jervis Tetch’s command. Of course, they’re still wacky and unique in their own right, so Jervis often gets a headache when trying to corral them back into doing what they’re supposed to do. Despite this, the Wonderland Gang (shut up this is their name for now as cheesy as it sounds) treat each other like family and are ride-or-die for one another.

[From Left to Right, starting at the top]

(TW: Transgender/Possibly ableist bullying, mind-control, violence, child abuse, & body horror/gore, jic!!)

- Baily Aubre “Deck O’ Kards” (usually shortened to just Kards) - 24 - Female (AMAB) - Baily was a gymnast-in-training during her school years, and hoped to go on into the Olympics. However, she lived in a more “traditional” town, and the boys often picked on Baily due to her feminine-acting ways. But when she discovered she was actually trans, she became a social outcast and general pariah, and had to both quit her gymnastic career dreams and to transition into home-schooling instead. Due to never being able to really trust others in social situations, Baily only really cared about her widowed mother, whom she depended a lot on. So, when she passed, Baily didn’t know what to do, and since her apprehension among groups of people didn’t motivate her to go to college, she soon went into shady businesses instead. She worked as a henchman for multiple rogues and soon set herself upon a criminal record, but she had grown fond of Jervis and his goals. But, as time went on, Baily realized she wanted to go onto bigger things in life and tried to convince Tetch to do the same. When that didn’t work, Baily attempted to walk out on him, but didn’t see him approach her, and just when she got a few feet away from him, Jervis knocked her out. Due to his obsessiveness and loneliness problems, he told himself that the only way to keep her around was to mess with her brain a bit, to make her more loyal to him. Baily is still witty and cautious on dangerous situations, but now she’s willing to sacrifice herself for Jervis. Though, her personality was mainly remained intact, her memories of her past was completely rewritten and changed to Tetch’s liking. It’s unknown if there is a way to undo the effects of his tampering, but a scar permanently remains wrapped around her head and hidden under her hair as a reminder of what he did.

-  Jackie Summers “March Hare” - 20 - Male (AFAB) - Jackie was a major sweetheart back in his youth, but constantly hyperactive and excited. Unfortunately, he was very gullible and naive into being tricked or pranked by other kids, and often scolded by his teachers and parents for getting bad grades or not listening during class. Though, he still remained an optimist, hoping that one day someone will be a true friend to him. But the bullying and harsh attitude to him only got worse as time went on, even beyond his school days. In Gotham, he was a college student studying theatre and visited the local library many times during the month. One day, as he browsed through the fiction setting, he picked up a copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland out of curiosity. He was spooked, however, when a man approached him and excitedly started talking to him. But, Jackie wasn’t adverse to conversation and soon became friends with the man he soon would learn was Jervis. But, since he hadn’t transitioned yet, he still had long blonde hair that his new friend would often fond over. While confused, Jackie didn’t question it and loved the newfound attention he got from Jervis. But, one day as the library started to close up and the secretary decided to hand the keys over to Jackie, Jervis strolled in with a new tea recipe he wanted Jackie’s opinion on. Being oblivious to his intent, he agreed and drank the tea, but soon would get knocked out and wake back up to find Jervis, dressed up in his Hatter assemble, trying to get Jackie to play the role as his Alice. Afraid and not knowing what to do (and hating the itchy dress Jervis put on him over his regular clothes), Jackie appealed to Jervis by instead exclaiming he would rather be the March Hare than Alice. While slightly disappointed at first, Jervis relented, but found Jackie to be a much better suit for that character in the first place due to his eccentric personality (a side-effect of being in drama classes too much, haha). Likewise, Jackie found himself becoming much more attracted to the March Hare character and wanted to continue helping out his new friend. So, when Batman tried to rescue him from Tetch, Jackie instead fought him (with Batman clearly winning) but as both were sent to Arkham, they decided to become partners-in-crime together.

- Eenah Lyle “Dormouse” - 19 - Nonbinary/Genderfluid (it fluctuates) - Eenah has always been the quiet type, preferring to listen rather than conversate. Even though they had bad narcolepsy, Eenah found themself to be a fantastic bodybuilder at a young age and strengthened themself up for wrestling competitions. Eenah soon went on a winning streak, and went towards becoming the ultimate wrestler in all of Gotham. But that came to a close when they won against another diva, who was furious that Eenah won. So, thanks to their narcolepsy, Eenah passed out and woke up right after their bus-ride back home left without them. But they were approached by a gang that were hired by the diva to “rough Eenah up”. While they fought as hard as they could, Eenah was outnumbered and brutally got beaten on, who left when their lower jaw broke. Eenah was left there until a random passersby stumbled upon their body and got them to a hospital. Despite being able to repair most of the damage that was done to them, their jaw would always be crooked from now on. This prevented them from going on into the championships and Eenah lost everything after that. Fueled by fury and revenge, Eenah went on a rampage one day, finding the gang and diva that ruined their life and murdering them without a hint of mercy. Afterwards, they went on the run, coming across Jackie who they attempted to mug for food money. Instead though, Eenah found kindness they hadn’t felt in a long time, and waringly, followed Jackie back to Jervis. They found that Jackie and Jervis was trustworthy enough to be around, and soon that trustworthiness evolved into a tight friendship. Now, while being more on stealth missions, is able to hold their own against Batman or anyone else who intends to mess with them or their friends.

- Karoline Hudson “Queen of Hearts” - 14 - Female - Raised in a high-class, European family, Karoline was a sweet girl and had a kind family that hoped for the best for her future. Everything was looking great for Karoline and her family, but that peace was soon disrupted by a large group of people who viciously murdered her family and was kidnapped by them among many of her prized possessions/wealth to be sold. After seeing how cruel people could be, Karoline’s pure demeanor was ripped to shreds, leaving only a shell that felt empty. But, as the group arrived to Gotham, they got into a fight with another group of people, allowing Karoline to sneak away from her prison and run off into the streets. Unfortunately, nobody knew of the Hudson family and thought she was just a beggar on the streets, rambling crazy talk, and left her out on the rain. Three years pass, and Karoline has become a scavenger and unwilling of other people’s help due to fear of hurting her or taking her back to those people. So, when Jackie and Eenah found Karoline shivering in the rain, they were surprised at how snappy and mean this little girl was. But, Eenah reached a hang out to her, and started to tell of their own story. While still being highly aware of any sudden or suspicious movements, she was surprised to find that they weren’t trying to trick her at all. Jervis, although also shocked at how sharp-tongued Karoline was, welcomed her with open arms. Karoline still remains to be cautious of anything they might do to hurt her in some form, she found a new family that were generous and nice towards her. She likes to take charge most of the time, but often relents to Jervis’ pleads to just let him do the blueprints for god’s sake. She also likes to pick on everyone, especially Kard, but would kill anybody who would say or do something that would harm them. Karoline also has a small plush rabbit, stitched heavily due to wear-and-tear, that has dirty yet white fur, kept from her young days before she was taken away.

Chester Bennett “Cheshire Cat” - 38 - Male - Chester was always a nice man, liking to help others out even at the cost of his own time or safety. But, he also grew up poor and scrounged around for any money that he could find. His kindness had a limit though, especially towards rich or stuck-up people that believe they’re better than everyone else. While hating getting into debt, Chester had no choice but to relent to one of the top mob-bosses in Gotham, Roman Sionis, just to live. Though, as his constant failures at regaining the money towards Sionis persisted, Chester knew he had made a horrible mistake into working for Sionis when he was strung up and, as punishment for disappointing the mob-boss too many times, went through excruciating pain as his skin was ripped off from his muscles. Thankfully, he called the police before he was dragged to the warehouse, but the GCPD was too late. Roman Sionis and his henchmen had left Chester there to bleed out, who was barely alive at that point. Through hospital care, he survived, but was told that his epidermis would never recover from this trauma and would have to wear bandages to avoid harmful outside influences or blood leakage. Time went on, yet Chester never got over the traumatizing event and could hardly keep a stable job more than a month. Out of all of Gotham, there was one place Chester would go whenever he felt emotional: Storybook Land. He snuck in at night through a hole in the fence and wandered into the Wonderland area, and just as he got to the Caterpillar room, he broke down and sobbed underneath a mushroom. He jumped however when a voice above him asked what was wrong. Somehow, Jervis, who promptly introduced himself to Chester, had snuck his way into Storybook Land that night too and wanted to know why Chester was crying. He didn’t know why he started to vent towards this random stranger, but since nobody listened to him and instead veered away due to his off-putting appearance, finally having someone who would listen to him. Jervis nodded along, sympathizing while not being patronizing, and the two of them soon went on a long chat. Chester hadn’t felt this happy for so long, and found a friend in Jervis. Both met up at Storybook Land during night just to talk about their day, until Jervis brung in the new and improved costume of the Cheshire Cat the theme park got and, since he noticed he always wanted to cover up, they could have fun together dressed up as the Mad Hatter and the titular cat. Chester agreed, and found the costume to be surprisingly flexible and comfortable, not actually wanting to take it off. While apprehensive and shocking at first when Jervis spilled the beans about his Rogue status, Chester continued wanting to be friends with him and be a part of his makeshift gang. The others hit off Chester fast, and before he knew it, the man found himself a new home in the form of, frankly, a bunch of crazy people. And, to his own shock, he liked the company. 

hope you liked all that cheesy backstory stuff lmao. i was scared at first to post their backstories but i thought why the heck not. hope you guys like these misfits!

#i am NOT proud of jervis in the bg #bitch looking like a rat #still i hope you guys like these funny haha people #btw i really want to make one of those brandon rogers aiw videos but on this ocs now lol #also sorry if theres too much cheesiness or stuff you didn't like in their backstories! its hard to write engaging profiles on characters #when you forget the stuff you intend on putting in there lol #batman #dc #dc oc #batman oc #jervis tetch #mad hatter #*rubs my awful hands together* oc tag time babee #baily aubre #jackie summers #eenah lyle #karoline hudson #chester bennett #btw happy valentines day! love you guys!

[cryptidandwren]

OUR FETISHES ARE NO BASIS FOR A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT

In this essay we will discuss the media and social environment under which a dangerously unhinged President personally responsible for a quarter million of his people dying can come within ten million votes of winning the popular vote. You are seeing this because you follow my wife’s porn blog, so I'll skip over the part about minority rule’s role in American politics. There is nothing cute to be made of a Senate majority that represents 20 million fewer people systematically eroding reproductive rights, discriminatory protections, and twisting the federal judiciary into a visage of an extreme few. No, you are seeing this because of porn, so let's use porn to understand what is happening in The United States. Personally, I am very interested in dangerously unstable people with complete disregard for their actions’ effects on themselves and others. While it's personally undisputed that crazy is hot, this sexual preference was never going to factor into my dating decisions, because unfortunately I am within the subset of “others”. In this discussion we are also going to be talking about those on the right side of the political aisle, because what we are talking about is not symmetrical fresh-never-frozen-bug-fucking-insanity. The Republican Party started experimenting with putting its dick in crazy beginning with the Southern Strategy, and now its been balls deep in crazy for three decades. Part of the “go balls deep and nut in the worst angels of our being” strategy pioneered by Nixon and allies like the Koch brothers was to create a verdant media environment where you could choose your own adventure on talk radio or Fox News. Choice is where this all goes from “go balls deep and nut in the worst angels of our being” to “tied to a chair in a shady warehouse by the docks wearing nothing but a latex horse mask and being sucked off by one lady, one man, and an oddly enthusiastic aquarium fish.” In broad strokes people are selecting news that makes them feel good in the same way that they are selecting porn that makes them feel good, and people will become better able at determining what exactly they want over time.

Let’s start off by defining what makes something pornographic. For this there can only be one source of authority to begin our inquiry: The United States Supreme Court. The United States Supreme Court defined obscenity as: “1) A thing must be prurient in nature; 2) a thing must be completely devoid of scientific, political, educational, or social value; and 3) a thing must violate the local community standards.” Miller v. California 413 U.S. 15 (1973).  The Miller test is the threshold standard for obscenity. Obscenity is a classification under First Amendment law, and not all porn will pass through the Miller test threshold. At the same time Miller is the culmination of a large body of litigation over the question of how pornography, its almost always pornography, should be classified for First Amendment protections purposes. It is important to understand that this is a local standard. Which is to say that the Government’s ability to regulate pornographic or otherwise obscene speech is conditional upon local community standards. While two people fucking on the subway may be a charming part of the morning commute in NYC, or nutting to Lucky, the mascot for the Celtics, may be essential to Boston culture, both acts may be obscene in Des Moines Iowa. When discussing the internet, which we must do in this inquiry, local standards are thrown out. Additionally, Miller is a threshold standard for a certain kind of porn. For these reasons, Miller cannot be said to be controlling on what makes something pornographic. 

Fortunately The Supreme Court’s long history of litigation on the legal question of what makes pornography allows us to draw on persuasive evidence. Justice Stewart in his concurring opinion stated that he knows it [obscenity/porn] when he sees it. Jacobellis v. Ohio, 378 U.S. 187 (1964). This rule cures the defect created by a local standard as found in Miller. Additionally, it provides a more sex positive framework with which to approach the issue, as it better acknowledges the full breadth of human sexual expression. Still, it is too subjective to provide a tenable framework, as when everything can be porn then nothing may also be porn. A synthesis of the two rules is therefore appropriate.  

The definition of porn requires a global standard, room to embrace the full breadth of human sexual expression, and some objective elements. Drawing on both Jacovellis and Miller porn is: 1) a thing known when seen; 2) a thing completely devoid of scientific, political, educational, or social value; and 3) a thing which violates community standards. Let us now apply this new test to two fact patterns. First, HOT MILF OCTAGON DILDO WARRIOR 3 THE RESUBMITINING is a hypothetical film about mothers, although proof of their identity as such is lacking, fighting with dildos to submit or resubmit other mothers in a octagon with elaborate combat etiquette around naked dildo fights. Starting at the top, let us stipulate that this would be known to be porn when seen. Second, only the most strained and lonely freshman year Lit students could glean some scientific, political, educational, or social value out of what has been presented. Perhaps something to the effect of: “it represents the way in which an overly sexualized capitalist society pits actors against each other in abstracted combat which inevitably comes at the expense of the family unit, and the brunt of this abstract combat falls on women and or female caregivers”. Finally, this would violate community standards. Transgressiveness is hot, and you are not supposed to fight, much less with ten (10) pound dildo flails. Alternatively, there is the Venus de Milo. They would show this on PBS. It's not porn. That's not to say you can't nut to it, but any such nutting would be brought to you by viewers like you. This synthesized rule provides a practical framework to view porn broadly.  

Now that we have a definition to apply to the pornographic, let us turn our gaze towards the fetish driven hellscape that is American politics. Our politics have become run by civic pornographic tropes. These tropes exigent before the advent of social media found a newly fertile ground on Twitter and Facebook. In the same way that interest in DADDY BIGFOOT FUCKS ME IN THE ASS AND THEN TAKES ME TO CHILI’S existed before the internet, interest in a secretive government leaker trying to save children and provide life extending technology conspiracies existed before the internet. The internet simply reduces the transactional cost of finding what you are really into.   

Sex sells, but faces problems of scalability. Facebook, twitter, and all the rest sell ads. The more you are on them the more ads they can sell. Porn sells like, well, porn, but Pornhub hasn’t managed to destabilize entire governments and escalate ethnic tensions into a genocide. The problem that Pornhub has is scalability. We are closer to chimps than bonobos, so sex can only sell so far. This presented Facebook with a problem.  How do you scale up a platform designed to rank your co-workers on fuckability into something that can Grima Wormtounge everyone’s grandmother? Use algorithms to push people towards more and more specifically targeted salacious content and rely on a healthy community of amateur content creators so that there is always something available to engage anyone’s most niche interests. That the business model of Pornhub and Facebook are nearly indistinguishable are no mistake. 

To scale up one not only has to understand what porn is, but what the draw of porn is. Porn’s fundamental draw is not the sex, but the fantasy. It is fantasy without the distant mirror, or at least without an intentional one. Porn, unlike sex, creates a reality of your own choosing unconstrained by real worldly limitations and curated to facilitate the chosen fantasy. PRISON LESBIANS 4 NO ESCAPE; BUTTSTUFF FOR BAD GIRLS doesn’t have to be a dingy place standing as a monolith to a horrifying system housing those broken under the crushing wheels of a morally indefensible society of indifference, like a real prison. Instead it can be a well-lit, adequately shot, sanitized play place for beautiful people to fuck like they are in a smutty disneyworld after Disney ripped the still beating heart out of the play Chicago. Through its alchemy porn is able to transmute the real world into smutty gold. Any impurities which may have stood in the way of the fantasy drawn out and rendered golden.  

It is this same alchemy that we find at work in the so-called “new media”. GOD KING TRUMP TO KILL CHINESE DRAGON AND FREE AMERICAN WORKERS FROM THOUSAND YEARS OF DARKNESS is no more concerned with the realities of the election than PRISON LESBIANS 4 NO ESCAPE; BUTTSTUFF FOR BAD GIRLS is concerned with The United States criminal justice system. Applying our standard to GOD KING TRUMP TO KILL CHINESE DRAGON AND FREE AMERICAN WORKERS FROM THOUSAND YEARS OF DARKNESS its pornographic nature must be:1) a thing known when seen; 2) a thing completely devoid of scientific, political, educational, or social value; and 3) a thing which violates community standards. Starting with the first element, this exists because someone is into it. It is, like most porn, ridiculous with the benefit of post nut clarity. Secondly, no real value can be drawn from it. Perhaps a vague sense that the American working class has not been served by the last forty years of neoliberalism’s relentless pace which makes scabs out of entire nations, but surely nothing can be gleaned worth thinking about. Finally, Trump by his nature and actions is transgressive and violates nearly every social norm he's ever met. He even paid off several social norms to ensure their silence. This is porn under the Miller-Jacovellis synthesis rule.  

“Well that is only one example,” a scarecrow I just created to take down might say. Well scarecrow I've inserted in a petulant power fantasy, we will discuss yet another political pornographic genre.

 Let's look at one of the most persistent fetishes in American politics. The fetish that The United States is a meritocracy. First prong is satisfied, because this is a fantasy that exists because it feels good. In a meritocracy one would see social mobility both upwards and downwards. As a person of great quality is born to a low class they would naturally rise. Conversely as a person of low quality is born to a high class they would naturally fall. This is simply not the case. You will die in the same class or a little below as your parents. Men make more on average than women for the same work. Finally, reports of racism's demise after Obama’s election were greatly exaggerated. Much as the realities of American prisons have to be thrown out to allow for the fantasy within PRISON LESBIANS 4 NO ESCAPE; BUTTSTUFF FOR BAD GIRLS or the class and gender implications must be kept at arm's length for HOT MILF OCTAGON DILDO WARRIOR 3 THE RESUBMITINING, the realities of America’s class, gender, and race relations must be transmuted away for the alchemy of porn to take place on the American meritocracy. Element two is met, because this fantasy has no more value than those contained within DADDY BIGFOOT FUCKS ME IN THE ASS AND THEN TAKES ME TO CHILI’S. Any attempt to stratify and rank fantasies based on intellectual merit is more likely to tell us about the author of the list than to accurately rank the intellectual merits with any validity, so all fantasies must then stand on equal footing sexually or not. Finally, we must analyze the transgressiveness of a meritocracy to satisfy the third element. On one hand, this is a omnibus fetish like tits or ass in sexual pornography. However, a kind of transgressive nature does appear to materialize when POC or women succeed. Were Captain America to be cast as a black man it would surely be met with cries of, “that's not right, Cap is White, Libs ruin comic books”. When female characters fail to be thinly veiled fetish items or possess body fat necessary to make it through a day without getting dizzy are cast, one can expect cries of, “WOMEN CAN’T BE.” In this way it is transgressive for those who are not supposed to win based on their immutable characteristics rather than their talents to win under this meritocracy. It is therefore plausible to find meritocracy in The United States as a genre of civic pornography.

It is at this point that we must view those on the right side of the political aisle not as misguided by misinformation with infantilizing gaze and endless forgiveness, but as fetish enthusiasts who open conversations with what grocery store’s ginger makes the best buttplugs. People gravitate towards the news that makes them feel good, in the same way that they gravitate towards porn that makes them feel good. These are active choices to view and active choices to talk about their fetishes. It's fine if people want to read TRUMP ELECTED GOD KING OF AMERICA; TO LIFT US TO MOON BASE WITH MASSIVE COCK or PRESIDENT TRUMP LOCKS BABIES IN CAGES TO HARVEST LIB TEARS; TOO WINNING TOO HARD  in the privacy of their own bedroom. Much like sexually explicit pornography, the line is drawn when you start acting on or discussing the weird stuff in the real world without consent. 

Fundamentally, when Nixon first suggested to the Republican electorate that they had the freedom to go balls deep in the worst angels of our being, we saw a sort of sexual liberation take place. It started with veiled dogwhistles. Just the “tasteful” little “welfare queen” brand racism used to be enough, but it wasn't really what they wanted. I mean sure, BALL GAG BALLET SWAN TAINT LAKE has some things you like, but maybe GIMP SUIT’S A NUUTCRACKER; CHRISTMAS CUMS ONCE A YEAR is gonna really scratch that itch. 

We need to stop asking Republicans to change for us. This is their authentic selves, and it's awful. Accepting someone for who they are doesn't always mean forgiving them for the things they jerk off to in the supermarket in a bizarre attempt to undermine your nation's democratic institutions.    

#tw: racism #tw: sexism #these are topics of discussion and hopefully not present in the essay #tw: covid #tw: politics #tw: trump

[derkastellan]

Musings: What I hate about D&D 5e

I have been playing 5e continuously since it came out, up to three times a week, both as DM and as player. While I enjoyed my time I also have recently mused about its limitations, especially in the light of books I have read, so let me share a bit of that...

A typical D&Dism I observe is this: I roleplay/play-act a character. I try to make him shady, evasive, just shifty in general. Then, after having done all of that, one player asks “Can I roll Insight?” I could have saved myself all the trouble, really.

You see, actual play-acting is for the benefit of the player, not the character. It immerses the player in the world, it draws him to interact with the GM as interface, it gives the NPC a face, mannerisms. If you ask for a roll after that, you - in my opinion - completely negate the information you got (except maybe: “something’s shifty here, let’s double check”). Is this good roleplaying? I say no. Is this realistic? Research says even experienced investigators and detectives cannot simply tell an experienced liar. (Hell, not even lie detectors can!) Not even if they roll 20s...

But the idea is pervasive. I get to roll and I get the info. Frankly, from my point of view I come to the conclusion that the whole conversation could be shortened to this: “The guy tells you he’s offering you the goods you are looking for.” - “I roll insight.” - “He seems shifty and untrustworthy. You wouldn’t trust him.” See? From a “character skill, not player skill” perspective this is okay, but I find it the least engaging way to roleplay. It’s roll-play. You don’t have to engage with this NPC in any meaningful way. You just roll dice. I say this is some sort of lame game about dice-rolling, but it is no longer an interesting experience of roleplaying. I frankly hate it.

This typical of D&D. “Detect Alignment” may be gone, but the game still has essentially a “Sense Motive” roll to help you avoiding using your actual brain, emotional intelligence, or people skills. It teaches nothing. It conveys nothing. The only thing it leaves you is to make some kind of decision.

A recent article I read made the point that players prefer to be puppets, being led along the strings of rather railroady modules. And from my experience, many players flounder when actually having to rely on their own judgment and having to make their own decisions. The game does not require, even less teach critical thinking any more. It just offers a premade experience you slot yourself into. 

And what kind of experience is it? It is essentially an experience of killing premade monsters in typical plots. What is an adventure module? A series of encounters engaging you in the combat mini-game with some other bits thrown in. The skill required from the GM, if he even bothers write his or her own material, is to squeeze the right amount of monsters into an area to provide challenge. This number is usually predetermined by formulas. The skill required from the players is to use resources efficiently to make it through the preallocated number of encounters to win the day or adventure altogether.

In other words, the skills required in playing D&D is mastering the combat mini-game. Recognize (or memorize) the weaknesses of your opponents. Devise tactics and apply them. Rinse and repeat. Many have argued that you don’t need to use tactics much. I think it was the AngryGM who argued that maximizing damage output wins pretty much every combat. Great. In other words: It is not a good tactics game either. Offense wins.

The reality of D&D is that it is a game about killing things. It is a fantasy game in the sense that your opponents are fantasy creatures, but the way the rules keep on evolving engaging with a fantastic world is absolutely optional. Some people would argue you can play D&D without combat. You could have a D&D game entirely based on interacting with people. And that is true, but that is not what the game is made for or optimized for. Almost all spells are optimized for having effects in the combat mini-game. Interestingly D&D computer games disallowed casting most spells outside combat. If you factor in every spell’s combat applications with all other combat-related rules, you will find that the PHB’s rules consisted predominantly of combat rules. Spells are mini rule systems geared mostly towards combat.

So, a D&D adventure can be seen as a frame to explain why combat happens. It sweetens the combat experience by giving it narrative sense. It uses combat as challenge and key junction in the adventure. Other elements of play are considerably less important to average play and can often be skipped over by applying the right skill (roll) or casting the right spell. D&D, especially 4e, has often been criticized to being like a cMMORPG, and frankly, rightfully so. 

Because D&D is extreme in its emphasis on combat.

What tools are given to the GM? He gets a whole book of monsters for keeping his players busy. He gets 70 pages or something full of magic items to keep players happy and enhance their combat abilities. He gets rules for making combat encounters, for varying them, for gauging their challenge, and for arranging them into in-game days. D&D is convenience. I have to say, D&D does a lot to actually make it convenient to run it. It is not hard to have the run-of-the-mill D&D experience. It is formulaic. With a slightly better encounter-building system (from Unearthed Arcana) it minimizes prep even further.

D&D is a game about meeting creatures and killing them. This is one of the major ways of earning XP, the game’s main reward. The thing is so engrained in D&D so hard that it often is hard to get players to respond in any other way to challenges than to murder hobo the shit out of them.

Some may say this just reflects my lack of skill as a GM. And frankly, I would counter that is fanboyish lack of critical thinking. How do you like them apples? Seriously. Defenders of D&D have always trotted out this lame argument that you can do anything with it. Good grief, game design is about what you reward in a game, and with D&D it has always been either looting or killing, and by now it also gives a nod to reaching story goals. You can put it on yourself to run a game where you reward things other than killing and check-marking plot points, but frankly, you have little support there. You could modify the XP values to discourage killing as the main driver of the game. But then you have to realize that you are engaging in redesigning the game’s reward system and focus. Its rewards (XP and magic items) are geared predominantly towards getting better at killing things and collecting loot. If you want to change that, you have to ignore a large part of the game or redesign it.

Compare this: Savage Worlds or even d20 variant Numenera don’t give XP on combat. In other words, combat is not an inherently attractive way of resolving conflict. It is risky, it costs you resources, and gains are unclear. This is just one example of shifting focus away from combat encounters. I’m not saying that Savage Worlds or Numenera are in any way pacifistic games. They do have, in fact, quite sophisticated combat systems, and Savage Worlds actually is geared towards being played on a grid. I’m just saying, D&D is extreme in this regard. 4e is infamous for being a hybrid between a miniature tabletop combat game and some added role-/roll-playing. 5e is not inherently better but simplified the combat mini-game again.

I personally would hope that the game engages players, encourages critical thinking, and plays without much discussion about the rules. I have found it does the opposite. Even long-time players constantly look up spell definitions. Every session has discussion about how class powers or spells work. And engagement is minimized by asking for rolls or other intellectually lazy pursuits. Frankly, I have noted that my players cop out more often even from the inherent problem-solving and try to arm-wrestle me for advantages. They argue basic declarations like how dark it is, lawyer the rules, criticize me when I do rules-as-written but also when I do rules-as-intended, and generally tend to ruin my own enjoyment of the game. And frankly, D&D is part of why. First it taught them that all challenges can be overcome with a modicum of effort and rather little creativity, then it taught them to rely on rolls, then finally some even refuse to engage with the game altogether - they simply start to argue with the reality around them that they should have an easier deal.

Imagine you would engage with life like it. First all your challenges at your work or your significant relationships would be spoonfed to you. You get used to it and crybaby about its unfairness if that ever changes. And finally you argue with God or the laws of physics or whatever to actually get a better deal out of life because you can’t be bothered to work, eat, or breathe on your own. Welcome to the Universe of modern D&D where the DM doesn’t have to bother to come up with much anything and where the players don’t have to bother with thinking about the game or engage with it. Welcome to the game that dumbs you down relentlessly because dumb players can be sold more premade products. Making premade products in turn gets easier because players expectations are low and players embrace and expect the formulaic experience and brand anything deviating from it as “not D&D.” “Designers” and authors then cater to the formula, apply it with some skill, and people pay them money.

Welcome to dumb consumer D&D. It has not been born 2017 or 2015, but it sure has reached new heights. The Wizards of the Coast do not even bother to give us new settings. They don’t bother to give us settings at all. Why give you something you can make your own adventures with? Here’s our premade adventures! Enjoy! Buy!! 

The disempowerment continues. With AD&D/1e GMs were told that these are the definitive rules, this is D&D. Don’t bother making your own. The spirit let out of the bottle with the underdefined OD&D/0e was driven out. Gygax gives you the definitive game. Then premade settings so you don’t come up with new stuff. A Monster Manual or two to make sure you don’t have to make monsters. Now they no longer give you settings. You can roll everything. Have fun. Send us money. Let the hobby sink into irrelevance.

(Yes, I’m bitter. So what?)

#dungeons and dragons #5e #dnd 5e #pen and paper #rpg #roleplaying