#but I do because sometimes my sensory issues are out of control and I can’t sleep with another person in the bed

[thornfield987-blog]

I know this has been done before but here’s my headcanons for LU Chronic illness/Disability boys:

Legend(he/they): Hypermobile type Ehlers Danlos syndrome. Frequently dislocates joints and doesn’t see why the others make such a big deal about it, it happens all the time! Primarily suffers from widespread join pain, instability and chronic fatigue. Has as many different mobility aids as they have magical artifacts.

Time(he/him?): Early onset osteoarthritis and partially blind. All of the time travel and shifting forms was not kind to his joints, so the connective tissue was damaged and BOOM. Arthritis. The old man jokes are becoming less and less of a joke every day. Also experiences debilitating migraines.

Hyrule(they/he): Sensory Processing Disorder (often associated with autism but can be caused by other conditions). Their magic sensitivity can often cause overstimulation in their other senses, and they are very sensitive to light, sound, smell and touch. They are semi-verbal because even his own voice can overstimulate him sometimes, but they don’t know sign very well. Also has anemia.

Wild(genderfluid he/she/they): hypertrophic contractural scarring, partially deaf, semi-verbal because of vocal cord scarring. Also prosthetic arm(set after TOTK). She switches between sign and speaking, whichever is easiest for him that day. They have to perform daily stretches and apply scar lotion to be functional, but they aren’t very good at remembering to do so. Often blows out his voice because he gets excited, but can’t tell how loud he is speaking.

Four(plural they/them): Dissociative Identity Disorder(but not really because of magical reasons), damaged growth plates because of Minish magic. They have very similar symptoms to DID, but there are slight differences because it was caused magically and traumatically, not like in the real world. They sometimes struggle to walk correctly because their growth plates are damaged, causing their legs to be slightly different lengths. They wear adaptive shoes to correct this.

Sky(he/him): POTS(Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), chronic fatigue. He struggles to breathe the denser air on the Surface, but he struggled with it on Skyloft as well. He has a chronically higher heart rate that causes dizziness and (rarely) passing out when moving from sitting to standing, after eating, and after adrenaline rushes. This causes his stamina to be fairly low, and also causes chronic fatigue.

Twilight(he/him): RRMS(Relapse/Remission Multiple Sclerosis). This is caused magically by the Twilight curse eating away at his body’s nerves, but is kept mostly under control by his shadow crystal. Occasionally, he goes through relapses and experiences anything from tingling and numbness in a limb to temporary loss of vision in one or both eyes, balance issues, vertigo and slurred speech. These flares are almost always debilitating, but thankfully they only happen every couple of months and last from a few days to about a week.

Wind(he/him?): A little cliche, but he has a peg leg. He likes to tell outlandish stories about it getting bit off by a kraken or eaten by a cannibal, but the truth is that he got an infection, couldn’t treat it in time and had to amputate. This happened sometime after his quests had finished, and he’s still a little ashamed of the actual circumstances, so he doesn’t open up often.

(edit) I FORGOT WARRIORS

Warriors(he/him): Speaking Disfluency (Stutter). Often repeats sounds, such as “G-g-g-guys”, or extends sounds; “Llllllll-Iove you”. He grew up poor, so he was never able to get treatment for it, so he communicates using sign while Proxi translates verbally, though this isn’t as necessary with the Chain since most of them know sign.

#legend of zelda #linked universe #linkeduniverse #Lu chronic illness #linked universe headcanons

[shorthaltsjester]

begging twitter to stop showing me tweets of people with no reading comprehension misrepresenting things I said but since i was going to make this more in-depth post Anyway .

when i say imogen is better read as a metaphor for generational trauma than she is a metaphor for queerness or chronic pain, i’m not talking about legitimate traits she has as a character. obviously she is queer. obviously she experiences some form of chronic pain (though i would argue her magic better suits chronic illness not pain because she states that it’s Not always painful, but it does always influence how she lives her life).

when i talk about how well she’s understood as a metaphor, i’m talking about when i’m looking at her as a part of a story, as an arc that i am witnessing rather than in the more typical fandom way of this is a fictional person who interacts with exandria as real people do. and that is a fun way to interact with characters, i enjoy it a lot! but when i say imogen (to me, as i for some reason have to clarify on my own blog which implies that these are my own opinions and not absolute fact that needs to be accepted by people on the internet with different experience and opinions than me) is best read as a metaphor for generational trauma, it isn’t a dismissal of her queerness or her illness, it’s just me thinking looking at her from that angle is more compelling.

imogen has been one of my favourite characters and least favourite characters in campaign 3 because i tend to analyse her through a lens of generational trauma and she ends up looking extremely familiar to me as someone with a family that carries their’s heavily which is as comforting as it is frustrating.

for me the main thing that looking at imogen through a queer lens of literary analysis fails to account for is harm. on the one hand - the harm that imogen experiences, not because of how people treat her for who she is, but that exists simply as a factor of her being ruidusborn. on the other hand a the harm that imogen causes. not to say that she is some malicious villain waiting for her chance to harm others, but that there are things about being ruidusborn that very much do incline her towards violence in a way that she might not otherwise be - i think about the conversation after she went nuclear and chet brought up people being scared of her connecting that to her father keeping distance. the only harm that queerness provides comes from society, and that isn’t the case in exandria. even metaphorically, the thing that society fears in ruidusborn people (while it has certainly been exacerbated by centuries of superstition and practices like we saw in zephrah) is a tangible threat. imogen’s magic when not controlled can wipe out a city block, but queerness poses no threat.

that’s why i’m not compelled by imogen’s backstory as a queer metaphor. not because i’m some imodna anti (i very emphatically am not but this fandom kinda makes me wish i was sometimes) or because i think exandria’s lack of homophobia/transphobia means that characters can’t be viewed through a queer lens or that critical role doesn’t contain some of the most compelling queer metaphor i’ve encountered. imogen just isn’t one of those characters, not because she isn’t queer, or because i think her story shouldn’t resonate with queer people, just because i find the generational trauma angle more consistent.

it’s similar with the chronic illness angle, which i will refer to as illness but you’re welcome to emphasise pain, we all have different vocabularies for the experiences we face. but just to give context i’m running off laura’s comparison of imogen’s powers to her own sensory issues and anxiety which while often Lead to pain, fall more into chronic illness in imogen’s context to me. and i do think there’s substantial comparison for imogen’s story as a metaphor for chronic illness, but i think that was much more true earlier in the campaign than it is looking at her from the current context. her beginning motivation being her search for knowledge about her powers really resonated with me as similar to someone experiencing symptoms of chronic illness but who could neither figure out how to treat them or what they were caused by.

but then imogen got more information, specifically about her mother, and her priority became not understanding her powers but understanding her current state as a person - how had she become the person she is, inclusive of her powers but very much emphasising her lack of a mother who became more and more present in the unweaving web of ruidusborn lore. that’s when i was less compelled by the chronic illness reading and more compelled by viewing her as a metaphor for generational trauma. had that not been enough on its own, imogen’s visit to relvin and her recent thoughts on her mother would be enough to convince me.

the part that makes me hesitant about this post is that generational trauma is so intensely linked to the contexts under which it is created and perpetuated. so i can’t really point to specific scenes as evidence of specific things that prove generational trauma is the most compelling and i don’t really want to unload that much of my own experience to clarify my thoughts on a character. but vaguely, i will say that imogen’s relationship with her parents is obviously the clearest source for my reading her as a metaphor for generational trauma. the fact that relvin, the only person in her family without the thing that draws society’s ire, is also the person that she has the most willing anger at is also indicative of this to me. in general, imogen’s rage that so easily transitions into sadness and vice versa comes out a lot in conversations about parents. most recently, i think about ashton’s lovely speech about found family and his distrust about parents and how as they were speaking, laura seemed to be playing imogen as sadly in thought versus months ago when fearnes parents showed up with striking similarities to liliana and imogen’s words of wisdom were let’s hurt them all.

and like. to me that angersadnessvengeancegrief is particularly evocative of the feelings that arise when you are in a family with generational trauma, especially when you are aware of it. because imogen can and has followed the logical steps that have led her and her family to where they are. early on when recounting her relationship with her dad she seemed wistful but understanding of the distance between them. in nearly every encountered with a parental figure imogen seems to be some level of distrusting for the most part, but she’s still holding out hope that her mother will see the good side. and further, there’s the complication of how dire her losing her powers seems to be, and how inextricable her powers are from every aspect of her life. she’s also southern and from a blue collar family. this means nothing except it also means a whole lot.

this is messy and not well organised but if you want a good essay you’re gonna have to pay me money for it but tldr: i say things i believe on my This Is My Opinion Blog and i don’t think i need to explain my thoughts to strangers on the internet but this was already half written in my drafts and if people are gonna shit on my opinions please at least do it in good faith and shit on my actual opinions not the ones you’ve decided i have.

#it’s just the. your mother leaves and you know nothing you don’t even know that she Chose to leave you just know she’s gone #and your father is there in every way he can be which isn’t Enough #and then. you do the same thing your mom did and you find the answers she found but. you’re finding a way out of it . not Completely . #and not Perfectly. but enough that you’re angry that the world wasn’t kind enough to her to give her a way out #and you’re angry that she probably wouldn’t have taken a way out if she found it #and you’re just. getting hurt by her over and over and you’re putting your life and friends at risk over and over in the thin Hope #that this time when she hears you out she’ll actually Hear you #also . just in general. i do not worship the ground of the mn campaign for anyone to accuse me of thinking cr characters can’t be queercoded #i’m stronger than you . i see the queerness of fjorester which only people with real reading comprehension understand . #anyway this is all light hearted if i was actually like . Mad this would be like. one sentence long #imogen temult #cr3 #critical role #the temults #cr meta #listen man. imogen is personal to me i hate her i love her i want to hit her i want to hug her i can’t look at her i wanna study her #my posts

[vizthedatum]

I think a lot of my ex-partners, whether they were neurotypical or neurodivergent, have been puzzled by my spiky profile as an autistic adult.

Not that I knew I was autistic in my twenties… but I have had difficulties with executive functioning and adaptive functioning for as long as I’ve been alive.

It often caused my ex-partners to either lose trust in me or start treating me completely differently… often causing me to feel even more frustrated and uncomfortable. Often leading to even more skill regression or shutdown.

I don’t know what a lot of my needs are (I’m figuring it out now!) - I admittedly haven’t taken the best care of myself because I was masking so hard.

I was trying to fit in so badly. And I was wearing myself down by trying to excel in my academic programs because often my academic skills seemed to be the only thing I could reliably count on (but even then, when my health got worse, that got affected due to energy constraints).

My trauma and hyper vigilance allows me to see and viscerally feel when people are getting upset with me. Sometimes I feel like people only realize I’m neurodivergent when it interferes with their life…

But I’m living it. I’m living in a world that often can’t accommodate my needs - sensory, emotional, or otherwise.

I get by because I feel like I’m “hacking life.” But in essence I’m always striving for goals that I may or may not be able to accomplish… and feeling anxious the whole time. People often don’t trust my methods unless I obscure them. Then they’ll see the end result and give me praise.

And if I can’t perform? I’m subject to abuse, outright silent treatment, ridicule, and rejection.

So I wired myself to be praise-seeking from early childhood… it was one of the ways I would not get beaten or punished/bullied by my family and peers.

It was how I’d keep down a job or a place in my program.

—

I don’t want to be praise-seeking anymore.

And I don’t want to put up with people who literally can’t understand why my needs evolve so dramatically with my environment.

My body is so sensitive and while it seems like I’m resilient to a lot, I’m not.

I also have communication and processing issues - regardless of how smart I am or how well I’m doing at a particular task.

I need a lot of clarity. I need emotional validation. I need physical support. I need space. I need to take up space. I need environments that encourage flow-state. I need compassion. I need safe spaces to meltdown and not be judged. I need to stim. I need patience without anger or control. I need patience when I feel like things are going out of control.

I don’t want to constantly flare. I don’t care if people think I’m being “selfish” by prioritizing my needs - I WILL LITERALLY PEE BLOOD IF I DO NOT.

#healing #neurodivergence #autistic and chronically ill #autistic #audhd #adhd #trauma #self love #prose #thoughts #autistic things #autistic experiences #interstitial cystitis #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #chronic illness #sensory issues

[autismnation]

ok so since the whiplash fandom has about 2 people active i have decided to share my andrew neiman headcanons that i have cherished in my notes app for a few months now. most of these are autism headcanons. anyway enjoy !

1. he’s autistic & was diagnosed around the age of twelve, however only he and his dad know, he hasn’t told anyone and neither has his dad

2. he also has generalised anxiety

3. he masks a lot in public but is happily unmasked in private & around his dad (his dad is super supportive and listens to andrew whenever he asks for help/tells him something about autism)

4. andrew’s resting face is really blank, like full on no thoughts behind those eyes

5. andrew’s fave colour is brown because it’s a mix of all colours and he likes how it reflects how unique everything in the world is, but he tells people his fave colour is light blue so they don’t think he’s boring

6. andrew has super bad sensitive issues and andrew wears lots of neutral coloured, baggy clothes due to this

7. andrew is bisexual, nonbinary, they/he pronouns and gets lots of gender euphoria when people call him ‘pretty’ or ‘cute’

8. he’s very sensitive to light so he’s almost always squinting & he wears sunglasses indoors when nobody can see him (but not with people bc he doesn’t want to be judged)

9. they’re quite insecure and self conscious & he is almost always policing his body language to make sure he isn’t ‘weird’ (the effects of ableist bullying)

10. he barely gets any sleep because he spends most of his time at night overthinking

11. they also feel like the world is going too fast for them so he spends time at night processing the day’s events

12. his fave way to stim is to blink a lot really fast in a short amount of time. he loves to do it in time to his fave songs too (if anyone asks him what he’s doing he just says some bs about how there’s something in his eyes)

13. their most common stim is tapping any surface (usually his hands, legs or a table) to the beat of a song. it can be a song playing or a song stuck in their head

14. he really, really hates change and it makes him get anxiety attacks whenever there’s sudden change

15. that’s why he hated school sm,, as soon as he got used to his new timetable, new teachers, new seating plans etc. it became a new year and it changed again

16. andrew rlly wants to get his ears pierced but hates the idea of some random stranger touching him (haha surprise he’s touch adverse) so instead he wears clip on piercings. but again, only at home bc he’s too insecure to wear them in public in case he gets made fun of

17. adding onto the touch adverse thing, they can’t handle being touched in more than one place at the same time & u have to ask before you touch them or it freaks him out a little.

18. he sleeps with a weighted blanket bc he loves the pressure, it helps with his anxiety

19. andrew’s a very plain and picky eater (sensory issues),, but sometimes he eats spicy food whenever he’s sensory seeking

20. he has a bunch of teddies from when he was a kid but he hides them under his bed. whenever he feels particularly sad or he can’t sleep after trying for hours, he gets his fave plushie and cuddles it

21. his fave plushie is a caterpillar with the drums (no, it’s not playing the drums, it’s just drums connected to the caterpillar LMAO)

22. andrew gets their dad to cut their hair bc again, he hates strangers touching him & he can’t cut his own hair

23. he’s almost always listening to music bc 1) it’s his special interest and 2) he’d rather have one stimuli he can control instead of a bunch of others he can’t bc yep, you guessed it!! he has sensory issues!

24. he has a rlly bad time understanding tone. for example, he can’t understand sarcasm (like, he can be sarcastic himself but he can’t understand if someone else is being sarcastic)

25. also, he used to be bullied a lot as a kid & people would pretend to be his friend (y’know those type of popular people 😒) and he would believe them, even though it was clear to everyone else they were making fun of him. and bc of that, he now assumes the worst of new people :(

26. their comfort item is their drumsticks. they brings them everywhere with them, even if he isn’t planning to play the drums, and he can calm himself down just by holding them

27. he bites his nails and the skin on the tips of his fingers (due to both stimming & an anxious habit)

28. he’s almost always has plasters covering some parts of his hand, usually his fingers, and he doodles smiley faces and stars on them

29. they barely have any friends & so they talk to themself a lot and sometimes when he feels particularly lonely he pretends he’s talking to an imaginary friend he made up or his favourite musicians

30. he’s so blunt and brutally honest all the time (technically this is canon but idc) & cannot control his tone at all

31. he usually drums late into the night until hes too exhausted to move so he falls straight asleep without overthinking

32. they have very bad impulse control and they lash out a lot (snapping at people and punching things usually) but after the whole fletcher thing, they got help for it so its a little better but he still has scarred knuckles and such

33. he hates all festivities bc its practically hell for his sensory issues but if he had to pick his favourite it would be xmas bc he likes seeing people smile when they open their gifts (he’d also love to dress up as santa and give kids gifts but he hasn’t found a costume that’s sensory safe for him yet)

34. he has to sleep with a blanket on his face e.g on his cheek or covering his mouth otherwise he literally can’t sleep

35. he has really bad emotional regulation and he has the worst case of alexthymia ever bro he doesn’t know what he’s feeling 95% of the time his go to phrase is literally “i’m ok i think how are you?” & he has no sense of identity

36. andrew literally has NO sense of self care like this dude over works himself so hard and has frequent shutdowns & meltdowns like their dad literally has to intervene its so bad their dad forced him to see someone because of it

37. speaking of, shutdowns happen more often than meltdowns for him and he goes nonverbal often

38. the only touch he likes is when people play with his hair but hes kinda picky about it he likes people running their fingers through his hair but if u try plait it or put it into a bobble or do anything to their scalp andrew immediately will recoil

#literally copied and pasted this from my notes app so if it formats weird thats why #anyway can u tell im autistic about him being autistic /rq /sarc #i hope my people (autistic whiplash fans) find this and enjoy this #HELP I JUST REALISED I HAVE ALMOST 40 HCS #literally most of them are about autism #ok ill shut up now. im just happy to share #whiplash #whiplash movie #andrew neiman #ash shut up challenge

[thescarletwitchsapprentice]

Yandere!Parent!Queen!Wanda Maximoff with an Autistic!Fem!Magic!Child (General Headcanons)

*Not my GIF, but look at this girlboss. Look at her. I want to be with her in some way, shape, or form. I also want to BE her.

Author’s Note: So someone said I should do some more Queen Wanda Maximoff. I kinda wanna be a magic princess, so why not? Am I projecting myself onto the reader? Yeah, maybe, but I know there are some OTHER autistic girls who want to be princesses with magic AND love Wanda Maximoff/want to be with her/want to be her.

I’m kinda basing a bit of this off of my own experiences as an autistic girl, save for the relationship with Wanda because I don’t have the greatest relationship with my real mom. 

I’ve been wondering if I have mommy issues.....

Anyway, lemme know if you want a part 2 or if you want a specific set of headcanons.

We all know that Wanda is very sweet and affectionate with those she holds dear. Not a surprise, considering how much she’s lost.

So when you’re born, she can’t stop holding you and crying tears of joy. 

You’re her precious baby angel. And she’ll be damned if she lets you get hurt.

Immediately after she gives birth, she orders the servants to make her castle especially safe for you.

Wanda treasures you more than anything. Everyday she tells you how much she loves you.

Overtime, she does notice that you behave a bit differently. 

You’re sensitive to bright lights and loud sounds, you walk on your toes sometimes, eye contact makes you stressed, just to name a few.

You soon develop sleep issues and digestive problems. You wake up at night crying. Wanda’s always there to calm you down. 

Soon she has some worries; could this be some sort of illness? Symptoms of a plague? Would she lose you so young?!

And so she has you tested; the result is autism spectrum disorder. 

And it’s a relief to her, she practically cries out of relief; you’re not dying, you just think differently and have some extra challenges.

But she’s also extra worried about how the world outside will treat you; she wants you to be free to be yourself AND be accepted and loved by people. 

She’s seen how a handful of her subjects treat those who are different and she’ll be damned if you turn out to be in their shoes.

Wanda stays close by you, trying to figure out how she can best help you.

She orders the servants to build her little princess a sensory room for when things get too overwhelming.

You turn out to be a rather physically-affectionate child with those you’re close to, meaning that cuddles and hugs from your mother are a must for you.

Of course Wanda doesn’t mind. She loves cuddling you because she knows you’re safe in her arms.

As you grow older, you become more curious. Wanda wants to feed into this curiosity of yours, but also doesn’t want you to get hurt.

This especially becomes a predicament when your magic starts to show itself. 

You have the same magic as your mother. This is gonna get interesting.

And she knows it’s gonna be more difficult for you to control because you have *Spongebob rainbow hands with sparkles* emotional dysregulation.

She has to plan how to balance out keeping your security with feeding your curiosity.

Which is not the easiest thing to do, considering just how curious you actually are. 

The answer is very.

She has her servants search every part of the universe for the best tutors, but decides to rely on some of her old friends.

She resurrects her husband, King Vision, modifying him just a tad to make him as protective. 

She resurrects her brother, Prince Pietro, also making him just as protective.

Let’s just say it’s a lot of resurrecting and a lot of making them protective.

But they still know that she is the one mainly protecting you.

She assures that all of the servants are educated on you and your autism.

If any servant makes even the slightest remark about you having a “tantrum” because something’s too loud, either their tongue will be gone or they will be gone, mentally at least. 

As you grow older, it’s apparent that Wanda doesn’t trust anyone to court you, let alone marry you. What if they hurt her baby princess? She’s not going to let that happen.

You don’t entirely mind, at least not right away. You’re very close with her.

But she knows that when you grow older, there’s a chance you might seek someone to marry.

She’ll have to deal with that eventually, but right now, all is well.

Because everyone’s too afraid of the consequences to hurt the queen’s little angel.

#yandere queen wanda maximoff #queen wanda maximoff #queen maximoff #yandere wanda maximoff #dark wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff #headcanons #avengers headcanon #yandere marvel #yandere avengers

[corrodedcoughin]

Okay so this one comes with a bit of backstory so congrats your getting anon lore

I am the child of somone with a traumatic brain injury and chronic migraines so the Steve has migraines and a traumatic brain injury headcannon is very important to me

One thing that I have never seen addressed (possibly because people don't know about them) are aphasias now there are very sever ones of these where people lose almost all ability to talk but that's not the kind I think Steve has that usually comes from a stroke

No I'm talking about aphasias that cause him to switch words and not relize it. (Example my father at the beginning of quarantine kept saying killer teens instead of quarantine)

Now there is alot of angst potential here around people not realizing and just thinking he's dumb. Steve not remembering words and getting things mixed up without realizing it. Not one of them would think anything else. Until he finds it on a list of side effects his doctor gave him. And while sometimes they can laugh about it other times he just get frustrated because he's trying to communicate and he can't properly

I also feel like Steve when he has bad days he puts things in the wrong places (my family has found dry goods in the refrigerator before so I'm thinking cereal in the fridge might be something he does)

There are also times when he can't be around anyone (he loves them but they make it hurt I'm not going to make it too sad I'm gonna say this is a once like a three month thing for Steve this really depends on the severity of the brain injury and individual situations)

He also is more sensitive to air pressure even if it takes him a while to figure out what it is

This is just one thing that I'm really happy to see a Fandom address because it is so personal to me. I lived from ages 7 to 18 with someone who had a tbi and it's nice for head injuries to be acknowledged

-✏️

anon thank you so much for telling me this and sharing your ideas. I can completely see what you are saying and you are right, this is something that goes unaddressed and I’m guilty of that too. I work in adult health and social care and have worked in rehab in tbi wards and the community.

Aphasias are so common in this area and are so personal from person to person. Ataxic movements (decreased muscle control and tone) and sensory processing issues can look minor but hugely impact a person. I’m not saying any of this to try and educate you, you’ll have a much deeper knowledge than I ever could, I’m just hoping to highlight this to anyone reading who doesn’t have experience with brain injuries.

If you ever feel like writing Steve with a tbi I’ll happily read it and promote it because it is important. Maybe he has secret hopes of ‘spontaneous recovery’ that is talked about all too frequently. Maybe he has aids and adaptions to his house to make his life easier - grips for door handles when his own grip is playing up, memory aids insides the doors of cupboards to tell him what goes where, a grab rail or chair in the shower because he’s fallen one too many times and after Eddie finds out he talks to Steve and they agree that this might keep him a little less bruised.

Everyone is sensitive to him but sometimes that’s just too much, he wants to be treated like normal, like he isn’t mixing words up more than he ‘should’, that he can take a whole morning to remember the word for spoon when it’s sitting right at the edge of his brain but he can’t make it come out.

It’s hard, even on good days it’s hard and yeah, he has to seclude himself from the watching eyes and ‘how are you feeling today Steve?’ Like he has to give a daily update. He knows they care which is why it hurts all the more, he used to be the babysitter, the protector and now he feels that the roles are reversed.

What Steve doesn’t realise is how much he’s still doing for everyone. Never stopped doing for everyone. Checking in with them, asking how their games/rehearsals/projects/assignments are going, trying to find out if there is anything they need that he can get for them. Steve is still hugely his old self, he just can’t see it.

Sometimes he just can’t contain the anger or sadness or frustration at himself. He knows this is part of it. Has been told that mood processing can be impacted. He takes himself away when he thinks he is being ‘too much’ but his friends don’t let him. They pull him back in and hold him close, letting him know that they love him, all parts of him and that isn’t going to change

#✏️ #I hope this is okay anon I’m really hoping this time came across right #I don’t for a second think that you don’t know any of this becuase you do #I just want to give you the time to take the lead here #if that’s okay? #tbi are such a huge thing and I just didn’t know how to do it sensitively and respectfully #so if this hits a bad nerve please just say #and I’ll delete my answer and just keep your ask there #I won’t be offended #thank you again I really mean it #stranger things #steve harrington #ask

[crossingbaranduin]

Got a big project due tomorrow, so time to procrastinate in the best way I know how: headcanons! A TAJ one again — this time about Mike's powers!

Have been thinking about what the significant downside of each characters’ powers would be, since that’s slowly come up more in the show. Ty’s is obvious + canon already. I’d say Axl’s stays a bit less defined like his powers are overall (though I’d count the lack of control + ties to emotion as the downside). While I don’t vibe with the “Bragi communicates directly with Anders” headcanon out of some specific AUs, I do like the idea that the connection to words leads to constantly having too many thought streams all at once/effectively never having mental quiet. (I’ve also seen that tied to his usage of alcohol/drugs, as a way to somewhat keep it down, which would make a lot of sense imo.) But I haven’t seen a headcanon for Mike before, so I’d like to suggest: sensory overload/overstimulation!

(This got very, very detailed, so putting the rest under a read more! I have... a lot of thoughts.)

This idea is a loose exaggeration of the hunting skill in the show, with the upside being that in general, Ullr grants better senses to boost that. The downside, though, is that mortal vessels aren’t really built to take in that much sensory input, and without a good way to turn it off, it could get overwhelming very fast.

However, I don’t think Mike actually puts it together that it’s because of Ullr for a lot of reasons:

1) Mike is effectively flying blind with the whole powers thing. He’s the first one to manifest, with next to no guidance, and then is just basically trying to keep shit together. The connection just… doesn’t get made. Anders also doesn’t bring Bragi’s downsides up because 1) he and Mike aren’t close enough around that point to talk about it and 2) since Mike never mentioned there being downsides in that way, Anders also takes a while to put it together. (I also think he’d be less likely to openly admit it as a weakness for a lot of reasons, but that’s for another post!) By the time we get a Johnson with obvious downsides — Ty — his are so much more severe that it doesn’t occur that everyone technically has the same issue, Ty’s is just… a lot worse.

2) I like the headcanons that bring up how stifling powers as a vessel could have consequences later down the line. Mike cuts off his usage of Ullr fairly early, and with that, cutting his extra senses off also cuts off the flood of sensory input. Sure, it can leak through sometimes, but it’s no longer a consistent issue. When he does finally decide to use his powers actively again at the end of S1… oh boy, that’s gonna be one hell of a dam breaking. At first, there’s enough major life changes going on at that point to chalk it up to stress, but bottling up powers for the majority of fifteen years is gonna leave them very out of whack once they’re no longer suppressed.

3) Again with referencing other posts I should make: I have a long hc about how the first year or so of god powers is overwhelming mentally and tends to lead to a lot of rash behavior and all-around bad ideas while everything settles out. My personal TAJ timeline has Rob’s accident taking place about 3 months after Mike turns 21, so since Mike shoved everything down during that first year, that settling-in process got somewhat messed up. It attempts to fix itself once he actively starts using his powers again — aka unknowingly dumping him back where he left off. Combine the major life problems he goes through at the end of S1, Ullr’s powers in general — aka easily abusable for dumb shit, and that god-power-settling… and yeah, you get early-S2 Mike.

4) A good chunk of it can also be assigned to Mike just not wanting to admit things are wrong in general. Can’t have a problem if you don’t admit it, right?

Now, beyond that mountain of setup, I’d love to see a scene where it finally clicks that 1) yes, there are specific downsides to Ullr and 2) whoops, Mike needing some peace and quiet from everyone’s bullshit isn’t just because they’re a chaotic bunch, it’s because being at a 12/10 on all senses all the time can suck.

Fun details from that hypothetical scene from my Google Doc:

Mike eventually snaps about everyone and everything being too much at one of the group gatherings at the bar while it’s closed. Everyone’s actually been fairly calm and quiet that day, which is why it’s surprising. Mike can’t put it into words either, and the situation almost devolves into another usual bickering session until…

Anders puts it together first; personal headcanon is that his degree is a communications major/psych and literature minors, so that + Bragi equals General People Knowledge. Immediately puts his foot in his mouth by just blurting out “wait, are you overstimulated??” — which gets interpreted as him making a sex joke, to which Ty clarifies no, he’s being serious and is probably right, actually.

The subject gets dropped fairly quickly by Mike, who looks pretty uncomfortable with having this realization so far down the line, making the argument that it’s something they can’t fix just like with Ty’s downsides, so they should all drop it (on the threat of no more drinks). However, everyone keeps considering it privately afterwards, and Mike slowly ends up with some gifts showing up behind the bar. The next three bullet points are the gifts from each the brothers:

Anders: Pair of fancy active noise cancelling headphones. Showy, definitely not Mike’s style, but work too damn well for him to turn down. Doesn’t have a note attached, but it’s fairly obvious who they’re from, even if they don’t talk about it afterwards. Broke once due to an unfortunate accident with some god shenanigans but were mysteriously replaced rather quickly.

Ty: blackout curtains + a blackout eye mask with those cooling gel inserts. Attached with an offer to Hod-super-freeze them whenever. The latter isn't as convenient to use, since it'd definitely be the target of some ribbing (lighthearted, but enough for Mike to just proceed to refuse to use it), but Ty's ability to keep things chilled while he's around makes it a godsend (haha) sometimes. A good gift combo in general because the cycle of sensory overload + lack of sleep gets nasty fast.

Axl: combination gift from himself, Zeb, and Gaia. This is a while before weighted blankets are super commercially available, but he read about it online and wants to make one for Mike. Major problem: he has zero sewing skills. Zeb tries to help but equally has no skills. Gaia takes pity on them and helps them with the sewing (with a joke about how it’s better than sewing up stitches from one of their other bad plans, at least). One side is a fairly standard flannel pattern; the other is something referencing Ullr (casino cards and dice?) This is the only one directly delivered and not just left at the bar; the whole thing has "awkward but genuinely sweet Father's Day gift-giving" vibes.

Directly asking Mike if he’s overstimulated when he’s annoyed will only make it worse… but caving eventually to go take a bit and chill out is still better than sensory overload, so this group with zero boundaries will prod him anyways. There’s a lot of ribbing about if he doesn’t go chill out, they’ll actually go through with drinking the whole bar’s stock this time.

This ended up probably longer than the eventual fic itself, and with many other headcanons interspersed, but if you read this far, I hope you enjoyed it! Writing headcanons and scenarios for this show is just too much fun. (PS: apologies for any super dense text! Tumblr's formatting was not cooperating, RIP.)

#the almighty johnsons #taj #taj headcanons #headcanons #mike johnson #the almighty johnson headcanons #discussion

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

talk about own bladder issue & incontinence pads/adult diapers to abdl (am not abdl just a discussion/critique of it)

*

“hold pee in so so long because body freeze” and

“sometimes sudden urge and have almost peed self sometimes” so

“maybe will make life easier if try out incontinence pads and adult diapers” but

“well technically have not lost control of bladder yet so do i really need it” and

“really bad sensory when thick stuff stick to body & butt especially wet thick stuff” but either way

“maybe since not fully incontinent, pads better.” but

“some specialty adult diaper so pretty!!!! will make diaper life at least prettier and feel better. but they all abdl. still can use but still will know is originally for abdl. but medical regular adult diaper so ugly.” and

“not my place to judge abdl, think kink shame bad. i don’t have to understand it to just let ppl participating in it be.” but

“still get upset thinking about abdl because most people participate are able *bodied* or at least don’t have medical bladder issue. adult diaper can’t really be separated from disability issue, adult diaper usage is disability issue even if abled bodied abdl. some disabled people need diapers, is not a choice. so because of close proximity to disabled space, abdl community should have regular conversation about disability and ableism, abdl community should be on forefront of disability advocacy and destigmatize adult diaper usage for ALL not just abdl. but don’t see most abdl community do that. so very very bitter.” but

“abdl make adult diapers more available so disabled people who need diapers who like the aesthetic can buy pretty diapers and turn diaper usage into a funner experience if struggle with very understandable shame and resentment.” but also

“abdl diapers more expensive. which many disabled people can’t afford because disproportionately low income. which only make me more bitter.”

complicated issue like all things. never binary “this only good” “this only bad” but still allowed to be upset over it.

(having bladder issue and/or incontinence is a-okay and don’t deserve to live in shame. i see you if you have that. i see u whether u choose to wear incontinent pads or adult diapers or none.)

#actually autistic #actuallyautistic #incontinence #high support needs #medium support needs #bladder issue #i know incontinence not inherent to autism and not specific in autism but tag it anyway because rebellious #loaf screm

[notabled-noodle]

I asked my psychologist if it is possible that I might have autism around a year ago and she basically told me that I am "a little autistic"? And that I am only on the autism spectrum when I have a bad day? But the more I research the more I hear that that is impossible and that you can't just be a little autistic. And it really confuses me.

I do have ADHD but I feel like some of my symptoms don't fit with that diagnose but that might also be because of the fact that I can't seem to figure out what counts as a ADHD symptom and what dosen't. And the symptoms I have that I think might point to autism aren't that strong.

For example: is trouble understanding and partizipating in social interactions an autism symptom or could that just be my adhd? (trouble knowing when to speak, how to interpret tone and facial expressions, making and holding eye contact, what to talk about)

Or sensory issues. I only get sensory issues with two or three foods, and sometimes with certain materials (but not always?) and with my hair

And I don't really mind changing my plans as long as I am the one actually changing them but I get really upset when I can't do something i planned on doing because of someone/something else.

It's all very confusing and I'm sorry that this ask is such a mess but I really don't understand what's going on.

yeah, first things first — you cannot be a little bit autistic, and you can’t just be autistic on your bad days. your traits can become harder to manage or more obvious when you’re stressed, anxious, tired, etc… but the autism is either always there or it never is.

this is going to be a long post, so I’m going to break it up into headings with the hope that makes it easier to read

trouble understanding social things

TLDR; when it comes to ADHD, it’s often about not being able to obey social rules. when it comes to autism, it’s often about not understanding the rules to begin with.

not knowing when it’s your turn to speak could be ADHD. people with ADHD often struggle with turn-taking in conversations, due to impulsivity, impatience, and a difficulty paying attention to surroundings. this can lead to them interrupting others, forgetting to respond when someone talks to them, or straight up walking away in the middle of a conversation.

the difference with autism is that there is a difficulty with understanding social rules. I don’t know when it’s my turn to speak because I have trouble detecting and interpreting shifts in tone. this means I don’t know when someone is about to finish talking.

if you can’t pick up on social cues because your brain cannot figure out what the cues are trying to tell you, that’s more likely to be autism.

sensory issues

TLDR; sensory issues are common in both autism and ADHD, but you’re not wrong to consider this as an autistic trait.

sensory issues can be present in both autism and ADHD. sensory processing issues are part of the diagnostic criteria for autism — most autistic people are either hyper or hypo sensitive to a range of sensory stimulus.

these issues are not in the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, but Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) is incredibly common in people with ADHD. most people I’ve met with ADHD either also have SPD or also have autism.

this means that ADHD + sensory issues does not necessarily mean autism (but it is something you might want to take into account when thinking about an autism diagnosis)

changing plans

TLDR; if you have an extreme reaction to change due to feeling overwhelmed, that’s definitely something to put on the autism list

very few people like to feel out of control. it’s common for all people of all neurotypes to want to know ahead of time what’s happening. this is just more extreme when you have something like autism.

it’s possible for someone who just has ADHD to enjoy spontaneity whilst also not wanting other people to be in charge of the plans. some people with ADHD end up becoming really strict with a day’s plans as a coping mechanism, because they know they’ll get derailed if they don’t plan ahead. so the reason someone might hate change is slightly different than in autism.

with autism, a change in plans is incredibly overwhelming. our brains need structure, because structures and plans and rules make the world a lot less confusing than it would be otherwise. knowing what is going to happen before it happens helps us to know how to emotionally prepare for that thing (even if it seems like a really minor event).

conclusion

it might be a good idea for you to investigate autism further. the key thing to remember is that the differences are found in the “why”. consider why you feel a certain way, and what is fuelling certain behaviours.

I wish you all the best on your journey to figuring everything out!

#adhd vs autism #adhd #autism #asks

[werewolfnick]

I think with how slow I am progressing with Supernatural, I don’t think I will be finishing it before uni starts again. I kind of half expected this (the other half expected that I would). And I think there is some potential reasons why (which I will explain now): 

1) I didn’t hyperfixate like I thought I would have. For those that have just started seeing my account because of the Supernatural posts, I am level one autistic (it is the mild form of autism, though I am still affected by it). I do hyperfixate on things for a certain period of time and it usually stops after sometime. Now, I did make a post about Supernatural basically saying ‘watch me hyperfixate on Supernatural’. Not gonna lie, I did think I would hyperfixate on the show (and I think I relied on that to potentially finish the show sooner). Now, I can’t control hyperfixations. But I was hoping that I would hyperfixate on it, but it didn’t happen. Am I going to stop the show? No. I am enjoying the show and I am truly loving Sam. I just didn’t hyperfixate on it. 

2) There has been a lot of personal things happening outside of Tumblr. Mainly with dogs and with my mum. Not gonna say too much about this but lets just say that there were issues with a dog that we were thinking of the worst case scenario (which luckily wasn’t the case) and something else with mum that heightened one of my sensory issues. 

3) After watching a few episodes at a time or during one episode, I feel like I have to take small break before continuing to process what happened. In this part, I am going to compare Supernatural to Teen Wolf (because it is the closest show I can compare it to because I have only completed so many shows). I was aware of the premise of Supernatural with Dean and Sam being hunters and there would be many creatures/legends. But, I wasn’t prepared for it to be an episodic thing. With Teen Wolf, it was a season thing. Like, there were 3 creatures max per season. What I mean about this is that there will 1-3 creatures that were the focus of that season. SPOILERS: in Teen Wolf, it was werewolves in season one with a hint of hunters, season 3A were kitsunes and the nemeton, season 3B was the Nogitsune, you get the point. Then there is Supernatural, where every episode is something different. A wendigo one episode, bloody mary another episode, the episode after about a kid who sees a spirit who tries to get her to k**l herself, etc, etc, etc. So, yeah. 

4) Because of said thing that my mum had happen that heightened my sensory issues, she has been given the week off from work and lets just say, I have to listen out when she wants to talk with me. (Nothing bad happened, it was a minor thing that happened).

5) 15 seasons. I think the number of seasons had a factor in why I didn’t hyperfixate on it. 

6) A little before I started watching Supernatural, I have this friend that I made on here June last year and we haven’t talked in a while and I am not going to lie, I think I may have fucked up somehow. And I am a little afraid to reach out to them. I don’t believe I have done anything wrong but my autistic brain jumps to these kind of conclusions before things are explained (I know everyone does this but autism heightens it for me). 

Was there more I didn’t mention. Potentially, maybe I forgot a few. If I remember, I’ll post in comments. So, yeah, Supernatural is going to be like me watching Riverdale. It’s going to take sometime.

#supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #supernatural dean #supernatural sam #minor autism discussion

[computerfrog2000]

So as an update to this post by @whalesharkpasta :

I wanted to do an updated version for myself after thinking more about my autism symptoms and recent-ish regression/burn out I’ve experienced.

So when it comes to how strangers perceive me in public, it mostly depends on how overwhelmed or stressed I am. If someone is casually observing me I can either just appear fidgety and aloof, or I can be ticcing, moving unusually, and unaware of my surroundings where I’m running into things and other people.

Now when I actually interact with a stranger that’s a different story. All focus goes to just being able to say what I need. This will involve stuttering, completely forgetting words and how tone works, and long pauses to get my thoughts together. And with fidgeting and little to no eye contact. I think most people realize there’s something up with me at this point. Luckily most of the time they are patient and kind.

I am constantly moving my body repetitively and “weirdly” and rarely notice that I’m doing it. Most of the time I think it’s funny that I do this and my boyfriends poke fun at me at how I do things and maneuver around. Other times it can be problematic where my tics can’t be controlled or I run into things/other people. I often have bruises of unknown origin from banging into things and not feeling it.

My meltdowns often can lead me to banging my head or even trying to run away. Meltdowns usually lead to shutdowns afterwards, or shutdowns happen on their own. Shutdowns can and often do make me go catatonic and unable to speak. This can last anywhere from like 20 minutes to a couple hours.

I was in general education and got speech therapy and was in “social skills” groups in elementary school. I definitely should have gotten occupational therapy for my sensory processing and motor skill issues. I luckily am getting that now at the age of 24… I was not diagnosed with anything when I was a kid due to weird reasons like my parents and pediatrician not wanting to label me with anything. Plus my mom having sexist views on girls having autism. Even though she is a speech therapist. She actually was my speech therapist at my school since she worked there.

When it comes to my language, I completely understand what others are saying for the most part, except for auditory processing stuff, once I know what words they’re saying I do understand. I struggle with expressive language most of the time to some extent. When I am not overwhelmed I sound pretty “normal” with good tone, though I still have frequent pauses because I don’t think in words. I think in images, feelings, abstract concepts, vibes, etc. Before I speak or write/type I have to translate my thoughts to actual words. This happens faster or slower depending how I’m feeling. I often forget words, several times a day. I remember the feeling of the word, and that it exists for the context of what I’m saying. (Though there have been times where I think a word exists when it actually doesn’t)

When I get overwhelmed I can lose all tone and rhythm to my speech. I pause after every couple of words for several seconds. Sometimes I give up and go to using gestures or typing. I’ve been considering using symbol based AAC during these times, I just would need to get that set up and find a decent app for it. Plus get over my internalized ableism and embarrassment associated with it.

I used to be a lot more functional than this. Most people wouldn’t think that I was autistic in middle and high school. Even from ages 18 to 21 ish. But I started regressing for various reasons. Especially in the past year or so. Thankfully I think the regression has stabilized at this point.

I was finally diagnosed with autism sometime last year by my neuro-psychiatrist. I’m wanting to get a full psychological assessment to fully determine my level of support needs and what sort of support I would benefit from. But finding providers who assess adults and take Medicaid is nearly impossible.

Looking at this guide, which shouldn’t be viewed as an actual diagnostic tool, it can be helpful in understanding yourself and give thought to what to bring up with your doctors. Discussions with my loved ones and therapist/doctors has led to thoughts on what my level could be. Me and my boyfriends half jokingly say I’m level 1.5

It’s hard to say without getting fully assessed. I know that I require support, and it seems like I require more support than a lot of level 1 autistics I personally know. There’s a lot to take into consideration, since the shutdowns are exasperated by my dissociative disorder. And my level of independence is impacted by my seizure disorder(s). Plus a bunch of other things that complicate how my symptoms present.

I want to briefly clarify that I am fully supportive of people self diagnosing. I self diagnosed in middle school with ADHD and autism, mostly cause no one would listen to me and the adults in my life had no interest in assisting me. Turns out I was correct. And I believe most people who self diagnose are correct about their situation as well. Not everyone is privileged enough to get diagnosed, and some people don’t want a diagnosis for various reasons. Sometimes just understanding why you feel and experience life in the way you do is enough. For me, I needed to get diagnosed because I require supportive services that would otherwise be unavailable to me without diagnosis.

Alright, have a nice day everyone!

#will.txt #autism tag #long post #just me talking about my personal autism symptoms

[factorialsfandoms]

Autistically Flavoured Link Headcanons

(Disclaimer: these are all based on my personal experience of autism. I also have other brain weird, so while I’m /pretty/ sure its all autism, some might not be. Not representative, etc etc etc. Also I just wanted to write all these down before reading other people’s, because its interesting to compare, but I need the reference point for my own.)

(Some Links have more points than others. This isn’t always dependent on how much I like or have thought about them, its just which ones I had more ideas and firm vibes are)

(Also general that even if I don’t stick to these headcanons, I always write all characters as autistic as I’m literally incapable of not being so myself, and have to run the dialogue. Its just easier if I accept they have my neurotype and have fun.)

Cut because very long

Legend - is in constant sensory hell from everything. made it a little better by ditching pants, gnawing on necklaces, fiddling with his rings, and similar. the constant sensory hell makes him snippy, as the world is constantly too much. - As a kid he was constantly told off for being rude/pretentious, but never managed to work out why. So, he has decided to just pretend to be rude so it hurts less when people think he’s mean. It’s easier, no? to be hated for something you're pretending to be, than for something you can't control. And anyway, he can't read intent, so has decided to believe the worst in everyone and everything. A very few people can convince him they’re not awful, but it takes a lot of work. Everyone takes the worst interpretation of him, so why not return the favour?

Hyrule - what's autism and what's a feature of his Hyrule is very hard to tell sometimes. He's aware that he can't read emotion, tone, or body language, but just assumes it’s because he's spent so little time around people. - He has made a conscious choice to believe the best of everyone, and has been taught very quickly that if he isn't sweet and kind then he will be murdered. It reads as naïve to most people, but its as much a survival mechanism as Legend's constant snark. He doesn’t know what people are doing, so he has made a conscious choice to be kind, and to assume other people are too. Until they prove otherwise. Proving otherwise usually involves actually hurting them - His special interests have long involved magic. His sensory issues are rarely obvious, but certain colours are physically painful - there's a reason he sticks to his brown and greens. - All of his stims are forcibly suppressed to the point he doesn’t know any of them. Even the gentle flapping of his hands at his sides is a danger when you’re being hunted.

Four - I don’t have a whole grasp on Four, but blacksmithing? Blacksmithing is his special interest. He’s very blunt a lot of the time, but he’s generally just taken for distracted rather than rude. Everyone where he lives knows he’d rather be in his forge, and its useful enough they let him.  - He usually seems to have most of it under control, but when things get too much it looks like a very sudden shift. - The colours things gets tricky with all this. Yes they would all be autistic. They’re kinda all also different ways of dealing with it. As a whole Four can shift between them as situation necessitates, but split each colour only has one way of handling the social weirdness.

Time - didn't have his whole childhood being told off for being rude, and so for a long time was completely unaware that he can come off that way - or worse, insensitive. Forest children notice these things much less, but it means in adulthood he doesn’t always realise he’s coming off as mean. He is trying to learn to do better, but being the eldest of the group few of them call him out on it.  - As a kid relied a lot on his masks to work out the rules of different engagements, taking on different personas and so forth. He hasn't quite realised he put one of them on and never took it off again (figurative). Neither has he realised what it is costing him.

Wild - near constant state of not enough sensory, except for occasional moments of too much. he doesn't have a line of just enough. sensory seeking until he implodes. licks things, touches things, looks at shiny things - all of that. This has only gotten worse since his death and rebirth; the nerve damage with his burns has left huge expanses of his body in constant sensory deprivation, which he can only try to counter via elsewhere. - His social skills are a work in progress, but what's autism and what's trauma and what's amnesia is anyone's guess. - Cooking is great but fire noise distressing. So, he does the little hum. He likes the hum. It is a stim, but a stim that only works in specific situations. Sky - fakes it until he makes it, but it drains all his stamina and spoons, and neurotypicals still read something off about him anyway. He used to have a special interest in flying, its still sensory very pleasing to him, but his adventures have burnt all of his special interests away. Unlike Time he's uncomfortably aware of his masking, and that its hurting him, but has no idea how to turn it off. He is suffering badly from autistic burnout. Combined, of course, with actual burnout. Still, he's doing his very best to be kind. - Pressure is very good for him. Many blankets, also hugs. If he ever learns about Wild needing to be squished sometimes he'd love a cuddle buddy. For now its clinging to blankets and pillows and covering himself in everything. - Conversely, if he eats food with actual flavour, he might die. He wouldn't die, but the slightest bit of taste is too much for his brain to handle. Wild doesn't get it, but makes him very plain food anyway. Twilight - spends time with animals over people, as they actually make sense. Has always known he's weird and not quite... normal, but assumes its a result of his messy ancestry. Everyone else also knows he's a bit strange, but he's good with the horses and the kids, so what does it matter? Swaps between wolf and Hylian form to try control his sensory brain - if light is too much or smell too little, go wolf. Vice versa, go Hylian. It doesn't always work, but its one of a handful of pros. Wind - special interest in boats. Has far fewer problems than the other heroes, in part because young, in a small community, and his grandma wasn't going to stand for any nonsense. Now the chain protects him from nonsense as he explores himself. - Has, with Wild, recently discovered he's not actually easily overwhelmed by taste - he's actually underwhelmed by it, but bland food is easier for his brain to manage than slightly flavoured but not flavoured enough to deal with the sensory underwhelming he has. Grandma's soup had been the only flavoured thing he could stomach before. She knew the trick of actually flavouring things. Warriors - Can get through any social situation just fine, having absolutely delighted in the complexities of the rules and the drama of it all. Unfortunately, while he looks incredibly socially competent, he's still running largely from a script. So much attention is on how he himself is presenting and his own words and how people read him that he's completely unable to process what they're doing. Someone else really needs to take notes on the conversation for him, because he will remember precisely none of it later.

#linked universe #headcanon #both percieve and do not percieve me #its complicated #I repeat again that most of these are personal experience in different situations #etc etc etc

[minibagel7]

hihiihhuiiiii hello I’ve been wondering if I’m autistic since mid august and I wake up solely to consume knowledge about autism and I think that in itself is a sign because I believe this is a hyperfixation and I looooove psychology sm I’d consider it a special interest. I’m just rambling sorry- onto the list!!! 🤭

• SPECIAL INTERESTS: I absolutely have special interests specifically in psychology, ANY form of art (drawing, painting, movies, music, ETC.), nature, animals, and colors I guess?? That’s a new one but they’ve always fascinated me.

• sensory issues: ah yes, throwing a fit and crying because my church dress was too itchy. “It’s made of cotton???” I DONT CARE MOTHER, THE STITCHES ARE P A I N F U L. Strong smells and tastes/textures immediately overwhelm me, like head aches, gagging, flappy hands, body wiggle, sometimes crying. I seem to hear things that other people don’t ahahahhahahaha- I literally hate that blazing ball in the sky that we call the sun 👹 some days it’s burning my eye balls the next it’s not bright enough idk it’s weird

• echoing: I’m literally a human mocking bird. If you said something a certain way or someone on TV did then I am going to repeat it. It’s an uncontrollable action 💀

• stimming: I can and will break into song at any given moment, mostly physically but mentally if I have to (like in class). I will shake my leg, rock back & forth, chew the inside of my cheeks, flap my hands, aggressively wiggle my body, kick, compliment people or things if I feel like it. Bouncing and spinning too <33

• hyperfixations: I’ve had like a billion of these and they vary with how long they last. Could be hours, days, weeks, months, and years if I’m lucky. I will consume every thing I can about it and sacrifice my sleep for it. I love buying merchandise like FUNKO POPS!!!!!!!!! I only have one but I’m trying to expand my collection.

• social interactions: ARE FUCKING EXHAUSTING. When I first learned what masking was I had an identity crisis realizing that I have no real sense of self because I’m just MIRRORING PEOPLE. ALL THE TIME!!!!!!! I’ve always felt like everyone was better at socializing, and that I “missed that class” as if it really is a class. In elementary school it was awful, I was so obsessed with mine and other people’s behavior, and I was very sensitive and judgmental. I started doing that because when I tried to be myself I got bad reactions, so masking was kinda like a safety blanket, a very unhealthy and depressing safety blanket. However, thanks to the internet and probably a cartoon, I realized it’s better be myself so I started doing that…but only with people I’m close with. Which is two people (not including family members), another autistic person and the “quiet kid”. I still mimic other people, but now I’m just very passive and quiet to hopefully avoid social interaction as much as I can.

• eye contact: I can maintain it…I guess. When I think about doing it, it’s either very excessive or just “yikes eye contact im gonna look at their hands, the wall, or literally anything but their eyes” ahahahwhhsha

• social rules: I’ve never really understood these but I thought I would get in trouble or something if I didn’t do them.

• development stuff: according to my mother, I hit all of my milestones on time but I was a very quiet baby and I knew how to self soothe since birth, idk if that has anything to with autism but yeah. I sucked my thumb and used sippy cups until I was like 8-9. Apparently I was the only one that liked Frozen after age 7. Anyways

• rules: I was a snitch in elementary and people did NOT like that. I told my mom about it and she explained to me that “there’s just some things you don’t tell on people for” and it stuck with me for the rest of my life. Now that I’m a teenager I have trouble accepting that I can’t be in control of my own life 👹 I lie a lot with is normally not on autistic trait but I do it out of fear of punishment…pretty sure that’s normal.

• executive functioning: my executive functioning skills are such ass that I literally can’t function EXCEPT ORGANIZATION. I LOOOOOVEEEEE organizing and will GLADLY take time out of my day to organize things. When my mom is waiting in line for groceries, I’m happily sorting out the candy and making sure it looks nice and goes where it belongs. Ironically, my room usually ends up as an absolute mess but I like cleaning it.

• I don’t always understand sarcasm, it has to be a phrase I’m used to or said with an extremely obvious tone otherwise I won’t get it…I think.

• repetitive noises make my want to tear my brain in half…LOL!!

• I remember when I finally started being myself and suddenly I was “too much” for everyone. I had low empathy, no filter, very blunt, and SOOOOO much stimming.

OKAY I think im done, I’ll lost more about it later.

#autism #autism in girls #am i autistic? #is that happening with me???? #idk man

[vizthedatum]

I’m not on any dating apps right now and haven’t been for the whole year (except Lex but I got one date from it when I wasn’t expecting to and also wasn’t even active on it except for follow queer community drama tbh).

So if I were to go back on them, what would my profile even say???

Like…

“Hi I’m a queer neurodivergent person which means that when you meet me, you’ll stereotype me as the “manic pixie dream girl” who is plus size with big boobs and completely disregard the following:

- I’m not a girl

- manic pixie dreaminess means I’m autistic so I will guess social cues with varying levels of accuracy, have meltdowns when I am uncomfortable with the uncertainty of things or because of sensory issues, and ultimately be a person you grow to dislike because I won’t be “the person you grew to love”

- I’m trans and gender fluid to be more specific - I can be very “masc” at times and you have to be ok with that if you wanna do things with me

- you’ll like my body initially but will be turned off by how “abled” I look while being disabled. Or maybe you just secretly like bigger bodies while not wanting to be seen in public with them. Maybe you don’t really like saggy boobs unless you can use them as a toy without regarding me as a person. Sometimes you won’t even believe that I’m disabled. Sometimes you’ll be so oblivious to the fact that I’ve gotten this far that when I do have disabling moments (mentally, physically, doesn’t matter), you’ll want to institutionalize me, control me, tell me that I shouldn’t do things alone, tell me that I don’t know how to behave in public, try to make decisions for me without my input, try to take care of me when you don’t even know how to take care of yourself, etc.

- that you just want to have fun and not a real relationship (whether it be serious or casual)

- that you will remove yourself from my life because you don’t think you can match up to my expectations without discussing explicitly what my expectations are

- I will call you out on your problematic behavior and I expect you to do the same for me

- you will see my hypersexuality and pigeonhole me into being used for nothing else… ultimately not caring about what turns me on, what makes me feel good, what would satisfy me

- you won’t value me a whole person because you’re projecting your insecurities onto me

- you will likely not be honest with me and you won’t understand that I need people to be brutally honest and explicit with me (even if it’s bad) BECAUSE I CANNOT READ BETWEEN THE LINES (it’s all guessing and intuition) BECAUSE I AM AUTISTIC

- so you’ll just be upset and you’ll also think I’m not worthy of actual courtship and respect because I’m not behaving the way you want (after all, even if you’re also queer, you grew up in a patriarchal world and aren’t questioning your internalized misogyny, ableism, and homophobia)

Anyway, I like to travel, read books, write, watch TV, go on long walks, swim (!!!), and eat/make food!

Really sapphic but also demisexual. I’m also ACAB but because of a lack of protective resources for autistic feminine people in this country and my own trauma, I have decided that I will call the cops on you if you hurt me (and I have a video camera at my door, and I have a blue belt in kung fu (had to stop because of knee issues but I can high kick you in the face or low kick you in the genitals any day)).

I love to serve but I also love flowers and feeling loved. If I’m burnt out, I can’t serve. I am not your personal calculator, fixer, or sex toy. I will trigger you by telling you what I think about you AND I’m super fun and laidback and just want to cuddle, smoke, and watch shows tbh.

Mwah!

Femboy out.”

#dating #dating profile #venting #healing #trauma #love #neurodivergence #queer #harm #self love #heartbreak #prose #trans

[22degreehalo]

I MEAN TO POST THIS EARLIER but on the note about how I have gotten unnaturally attached to Andy Bernard lately (it is not unnatural at all) (I simply did not recognise at first due to the format of the show that he is 100% like my favourite type of blorbo) I wanna share my thoughts about why I think he could be autistic. Because I know I do that about every character I like but maybe that is just why I like them???

Anyway so uh The Office has several characters that could easily be neurodivergent (like y’know MICHAEL) but Andy sticks out to me as autistic in several ways!

* He’s not that great at reading social situations sometimes, leading him to seem kinda oblivious, like when he keeps up in his relationship with Angela despite her obviously not being into it and not realising that she’s having an affair.

* But he also does a lot of mimicking, particularly in his early episodes with Michael? Like he just straight-up does everything Michael does to get him to like him. 

* He’s extremely emotionally expressive!! He just can’t hide his emotions at ALL.

* He also struggles with emotional control sometimes, like with the anger issues he had early on! But going to anger management helped a lot, and he tries to think back to those lessons when he needs to!

* He has his things he’s VERY interested in (especially musical theatre and sailing etc.) and tries to bring them up a lot, and doesn’t always seem to get that other people aren’t as interested as he is in them!

* He has a long history of struggling to make friends, and watching other people rather than interacting with them.

* Despite an obviously very privileged upbringing he’s never managed to really achieve much success. He just seems to underperform compared to what he theoretically should be able to do and there’s no singular reason why.

* He can be really overly trusting and even gullible sometimes! He also tends to over-romanticise things sometimes, like with his love of grand romantic gestures.

* When he was a kid his parents just suddenly decided for unclear reasons that he was ‘unfit’ to have his father’s name and it was granted to his younger brother instead. What if that’s because he got diagnosed then (or recommended for diagnosis which his parents rejected because they don’t believe in it or whatever) but he just never got told because his parents suck?!

* The whole nipple thing in the fun run episode is obviously played for laughs but what it that’s like a sensory sensitivity thing?!

* probably more

#The Office

[titan-god-helios]

(tw very brief mention of eating disorders and self harm) ————————————— i don’t know if this is an autistic thing or not (doesn’t really matter to be honest) but i sosososo wish that telepathy was a thing. communicating with others just by thinking. because speaking is fucking EXHAUSTING, writing or texting or gesturing it ouf or drawing it is EXHAUSTING. communicating externally is fucking exhausting and even with those i’m closest with, when i say or write stuff there are things that get censored because i don’t have the energy to explain properly and i feel like crying after because i just want to be able to talk to people and communicate neurotypically without having to try and STILL get it wrong. and on top of that i’m tired when i get home from having to communicate and write all day at school and just have my quiet time with my shows and games and art, i get told off for being lazy and not trying and it fucking breaks me. existing is exhausting, and maintaining my “perfect” grades (which get criticised sometimes as well) is even more exhausting and i simply can’t function when i get home and that’s out of my fucking control because if there’s one thing i’m not it’s lazy. and it breaks my heart every time i’m told i’m not trying or i need to try harder because i’m trying so fucking hard i’m trying not to collapse i’m trying not to relapse with my ed and s/h and trying not to go into yet another depressive episode and trying to manage my anxiety both autistic and generalised and trying not to slip into a depersonalisation episode again and tryingtryingtryingtrying and doing extracurriculars as well and trying, as a person with intense sensory issues and anxiety and overall extreme discomfort around exercise to improve my physical health and relationship with my body, and trying not to get dysphoric as much as i can and tryingtryingtryingtrying and it’s still not enough ?????? how fucking much does this world want from me. i’m not made for it, leave me the fuck alone please.

#rant #tw vent #tw ed #tw self harm #living with autism #autism #actually autistic