#bless him he is two seconds away from a meltdown

[remyfire]

#when your and your roommate's autism do not align properly #bless him he is two seconds away from a meltdown #frustration intolerance my beloathed #bj hunnicutt #hawkeye pierce #charles emerson winchester iii #charles winchester #swamp rats #m*a*s*h #mashposting #mashblogging #bottle fatigue #s8e16

[urf1lterr]

afterglow | pedro pascal [2/3]

"tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when i lose my mind"

previous chapter: [1]

summary: being nominated for an oscar was a dream come true, until you had to spend the rest of the night near your deceitful ex who still loved you.

pairing: actor!pedro x actress!reader

genre: acting world!au, enemies/exes to lovers ?? au | angst, fluff, fighting, mature

word count: 15k

status: 2/3 complete

author's note: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT LOVES. even though its gonna be three parts lol i still want you to want more. i've been confused on my writing because tbh- i feel like i could do better and keep rushing with these storylines and end up regretting them AFTER they are posted lol. not edited- it really isn't.

"Let's cut the chit-chat and get some real answers, why did y'all breakup?"

"Andrew!"

"Three days have passed, she's fine now," he defended, shrugging as Florence shot him an irritated look by his prying behavior.

It has indeed been a few days since the terrible night that consisted in you meeting your favorite artist, crying beside her, running awkwardly away right after, having a screaming match with your ex, and then passing out in the car.

So, you couldn't deny it wasn't a memorable night.

The past three days could've been better to say the least if your management team stopped spamming you with text messages concerning the fight, maybe even ignoring the loads of pictures of your crying face.

Oh, the pictures. Not a fun sight to see.

Luckily for you, the pictures were only ones inside the party near Andrew- not Pedro. Unfortunately, though, your picture was turned into a 'crying in the club' meme.

You couldn't exactly be mad over it, you loved memes.

Thank the Lords the paparazzi were clueless and never ended up catching your argument with Pedro or you wouldn't know how to cover it up.

You could never get away with the typical 'friends fighting' after he shouted how much he loved you.

And bless the celebrities near you for minding their business.

To clear up your meltdown, you took it upon yourself to send out a quick tweet the next morning with a "i'm sorry i'm an emotional drunk. one second we're talking about 500 days of summer and then...well you already know how THAT ends."

In that moment you couldn't care less if people believed you or not, this was going to pass fast anyway.

Now here you were, sitting in front of your kitchen bar as Andrew and Florence decided to pay you a visit because they missed you- or so they say.

Realistically, they wanted to see if you were still a hot mess.

Which you weren't, obviously.

Shailene would have tagged along, but she was busy doing grown up things, such as working on her latest project Andrew claimed which was a slight bummer. She was the mediator, now who else was going to stop the arguments calmly between your two friends.

Florence disagreed, shaking her head. "You can't just ask her that, it's impolite."

Sighing, Andrew sent you an apologetic glance. "Okay, I am sorry." Not taking his eyes off you, you could feel his curiosity and eagerness from the other side of the kitchen. "But we're all thinking it."

Judging by how unresponsive Florence became, you could tell she wasn't going to fight him on this. And well, she was secretly on his side because your fight with Pedro was seriously excessive.

She just wanted to know what he could've done to make you so angry, it didn't make sense to her if he did cheat. He didn't seem like the type, but some people do the most surprising things- so she couldn't really tell.

"Do you want the last reason or all of them?"

Widening his eyes, Andrew shares a glance with Florence for a swift second before finding your eyes. "Last reason?"

"The last fight we had that led us to finalize our breakup."

"Finalize," he giggled, leaning on the marble counter. "This isn't a divorce process."

"For a person who is so concerned about my relationship crisis, you seem to be catch on to the most irrelevant stuff."

"So you admit you still want to be with him," Andrew declared, giving a smug look as you tried to process his words. "If you're still stressing over him, it means you don't want to let him go."

"I never said I was stressing over hi-"

"Did she or did she not just claim she was undergoing a crisis-," Andrew interrupted, slightly raising his voice. "-a relationship crisis, to be exact."

Florence sheepishly looked your way, capturing your stern expression before slowly nodding.

Your male friend clapped his hands loudly before bursting out a wider grin, happy someone had his back. "There we have it, if he's on your mind that much to turn into a crisis- you still love him!"

Furrowing your brows, you didn't know how to respond. It was true, you had many moments where Pedro agitated you even when you haven't been near him for quite some time.

But isn't being wound up over an ex part of healing?

Truth be told, you knew your feelings for Pedro hadn't completely disappeared, but love? You weren't even sure love existed by your past experiences.

"I do not love him," you hiss, vigorously snatching the water bottle on the counter and aggressively opening it. "How can love be real? It's baffling."

"Questioning the real question with a question," he sneers, making Florence and you become confused as ever. "You're so in love him."

Florence cuts in, squinting her face in puzzlement. "Wait- what's the real question she's supposedly questioning with a question?"

"Love!" he cheers happily before placing his hand on his palm, dreamingly gazing at you. "You have your doubts on what love may be, but without knowing it you're having them because you're questioning your love to Pedro since you're too scared to admit you still love him."

"I don't get it."

Rolling your eyes, you swiftly turn away and head towards your living room to lay on your couch. You were not in the mood to have someone else tell you what your feelings were when they weren't you. "I'm done with this conversation."

Hearing a low slapping noise, following an irritated hiss, you could make out Florence's displeased voice. "See what you did! Now she's not going to tell us."

"So much for moral support, you really are nosy," Andrew fought back, whispering loudly.

A minute or two went by since you couldn't make out what they were saying before rushed footsteps soon made their way near you as your friends awkwardly smiled, hoping they didn't upset you too much.

Because they really wanted to know the drama.

Pushing him roughly from behind, Florence sent you an innocent smile as Andrew landed near your side of the couch, trying his best to hold his composure and not turn back around and start another fight.

Placing a light hand on your shoulder, you blankly glance at it before meeting his attention. "We just wanted you to know we totally understand if you aren't comfortable...expressing your past-"

"Get your hand off me and let's get this over with so you two can leave already."

Florence quickly sat right beside Andrew, both not offended with your statement because they were fully aware of how annoying the were becoming.

Before you could say anything, Florence quickly spoke aloud. "Start from the beginning!" Andrew slowly looking back to her, he sent her a confused look. "So we aren't lost, of course."

Laughing lightly, you nod before adjusting yourself on your seat. It was going to be hard to remember all the details clearly because there really wasn't an exact time issues occurred, it kind of just naturally appeared here and there.

Now that you think of it, majority of the tiny disputes during the earlier days of your relationship were probably on the same level as when you two were splitting, but maybe the dense ones created towards the end really made it hard to continue.

"If I'm being totally honest, we never really had problems when we first started dating. He was really great," you begin, clutching onto a pillow you found right beside you. "And he would always make sure to watch me make it inside my house before leaving, that was when I knew he wasn't some fling."

Andrew smirked, nodding proudly. "Classic move."

Smiling at the thought, you focused your mind to uncover the ugly truths that slowly tore you two apart.

"But then one day, I wanna say a few weeks after our second anniversary, we just started...fighting?"

Tilting your head, you look down as sad memories began pouring through your mind completely. "It wasn't our usual small fights over who left the bathroom floor wet or dropping his ipad in the pool-"

"-you dropped his ipad in the pool?" Florence coughed, bewildered by your scandalous actions.

"He wanted to know if it was waterproof," you defended.

"Was it?"

"No," you nervously reply, avoiding their eyes. "But he had it backed up and I bought him a new one!"

"That was kind of a bitchy move," Andrew muttered, catching your pissed gaze. "But at least you made up for it!"

Maybe it wasn't that great of an idea to just throw it in, but he did say he was really curious and wanted to dump it under the sink.

"Anyway," you start back up again, making Andrew lowly sigh in relief. "Our fights were never that serious, or at least not until he started filming for that new tv series he joined."

Florence spoke up, lightly questioning "The Last of Us?"

Nodding, you shrugged. "I guess it's normal to say the time apart did cause a rift in our relationship, but it wasn't too bad. He always made sure to call and facetime at least once every two days."

"But one day when he was visiting during his week break he just...snapped?" you frowned, not even wanting to visualize the tiny argument.

You had to for your own good.

"He had been home for maybe two days before he suddenly became moody. Like- his attitude was insane, I have never seen him like this ever," you sigh, closing your eyes for a second before continuing. "He didn't want to go out to eat, didn't want me to make him food, and when I offered to have it delivered he slammed the bedroom door on my face and claimed he was going to bed."

"Woah, why would he do that?" Andrew asked, seriousness splattered all over his face.

You wish you knew.

"Not sure, I just thought maybe work was stressing him out so I wanted him to have his alone time to clear his mind."

"Did that work?"

Sitting up straighter, you send a sorrowful smile. "For the rest of that week-yes. He ended up apologizing to me when I tried going to bed and said his manager was being tough on him for some scenes they had done."

You remember the moment you walked inside your bedroom, disappointed that he was awake. Not wanting to cause more tension, you planned to sneak under the covers and deal with the incident in the morning.

But his arms slowly wrapping over your waist as you had your back facing him said otherwise. Pulling you closer, you remember the soft "please don't be mad at me" he whispered near your ear, making sure you felt his tight embrace as if to prove you were his.

That night ended with you turning your body over to face him, accepting his open arms as a way to answer his pleading way of forgiveness.

Like always.

"Once he went back to work, we still talked- but I could tell he wasn't fully engaged like he always was," you sulk, remembering the first time you caught him not listening. "It got to the point where I purposely stopped answering his calls."

Your friends quickly send you a shocked look, you continue before they could intercept. "I couldn't handle his lack of attention, I would rather have him panic from the rejected calls than just tell him why I was upset."

It wasn't your best move, but you were frustrated. It wasn't fair that he was the one who got to treat you poorly and you had to accept it.

You admit, maybe if you communicated with him about these issues you could've prevented many future arguments and even saved your relationship.

But you were human and sometimes humans act human.

"Then what happened?" Andrew asked, a curious appearance plastering his face. "You continued ignoring him?"

Laughing lightly, you shake your head. It was the plan, but plans don't always work out. "Actually, he secretly took a flight back home one weekend and confronted me."

Gasping, Florence jumped up in her seat and moved her leg under her. "No way!"

"Yes, way," you sheepishly reply, embarrassed at the memory. You can still picture the way Pedro stood in your shared bedroom as you stepped out of your bathroom, jumping at the sight of him.

Standing with his arms crossed with his bags thrown by the door, he was determined to figure out what was going on with you.

"I wouldn't say we engaged in a heated argument, but it was surprisingly really emotional."

Andrew leaned his body closer, too interested not to let his questions slide. "Were you guys never emotional? I feel like every couple experiences those moments together- it's what makes them stronger."

It should've made you two stronger, but instead it made you weaker without you realizing it.

"Pedro and I had our minor instances, but it never involved problems we were facing," you began, sighing slightly. "All I remember was finding him standing near the bed with no emotion- none. I couldn't read what he may have been feeling, he just looked so....empty?"

"Empty? That's not good." Florence commented.

"That could mean a lot of things, not necessarily anger," Andrew added, trying to make you feel better.

"I knew deep down he was mad, as he should be- I was the one ignoring him," you defended him, taking full responsibility over your childish actions. "But I could tell he was more hurt that mad."

"What did he say?"

"What's going on?" Pedro questioned, his eyes not daring to leave yours as you freeze- stopping your attempts at brushing your wet hair, extremely confused as to why he was here.

He wasn't supposed to visit for another month, or so he said.

"Pedro?" you squint your eyes, still not sure if he was really in front of you or maybe you were daydreaming. You were high off many shots of espressos, it's finally hitting you. "Is that you?"

Still staring plainly at you, he stays right where he was. In any other circumstances he would have run up and wrapped his arms tightly around you, but this night was different.

He looked disorientated, out of place. His eyes lacked intensity as his body followed, looking as stiff as ever. Even his breathing matched his energy, calm yet unsettled.

You left him confused and he did not like that. "Answer my question."

Batting your eyes faster, you realize what was going on and where he was. Gasping, you do the exact opposite of what he wanted. "What the hell are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be home- you could get fired a-"

Taking a hold of your arms, he stills you and ignores your rambling. "What-" he begins, moving his right hand to the back of your neck and forcing you to focus on him only. "-is going on?"

Freezing, you try to back your head away from his grip but he tightens his grasp, making sure to not be too rough so he doesn't actually hurt you- he would never do such a thing. "I don't understand-"

"You haven't been answering my calls, what else is there to understand?" He sternly recalls, not wanting you to bullshit your way out of this. "So you either have been ignoring me on purpose to be petty or this is your way of hinting you don't want to be with me anymore."

Shaking your head frantically, you try to talk but he cuts you off again. "-And don't say you've been busy. You and I both know I would have figured out if you had added projects to your schedule- your mom tells me everything."

If this were a good time, you would have laughed at his side comment regarding your mother, but it wasn't.

"Not everything," you spit out, causing him to squint his face and release his hands from you.

"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you not happy? Is that why you've been avoiding my calls?" he questions, tilting his head in bewilderment, not liking your attitude at the moment. "Because if you really don't want to be with me you should've told me sooner than leaving me feeling fucking clueless while I'm out in another country working."

"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you-"

"But you aren't denying it," he intercepts, firmly nodding in realization. "I get it, I'm just glad I know now and won't have to wait another month to finally understand how you're feeling."

Walking away from you, Pedro walks towards his bags and reaches down for them. You scoff at his disturbed demeanor. There is no way you should be the only one at fault here- you both made mistakes.

Pushing his backpack off his hands, he watches at it lands on the floor before instantly finding your eyes. "Are you seri-"

"Just because I'm avoiding your calls doesn't mean I want to end our relationship" you shriek, glaring at him as his eyes soften at your hidden truth.

Your angered expression and stiff posture hits him like a brick, there was something really bothering you and he was too oblivious to acknowledged it until you began overlooking him.

Taking a deep breath, you watch as your boyfriend intently examines you as if he's trying to read your impractical mind. Sometimes, he wished you would speak up when something was bothering you, in fact- he has told you many times in the past to do so.

But the idea of patiently waiting until it erupts is what he's sure you've normalized in fear of desertion. Or maybe refusal of reality- the two of you weren't perfect.

"What's going on?" He calmly questions again, dropping any signs of fury and replaces it with worry and concern. Reaching out to you, he softly clasps your shoulder before moving in a few inches. "Am I making you upset?"

Slapping his hand away, you cross your arms over your chest in agitation. "I'm mad at you!"

Blinking a few times, he couldn't believe how fast you spilled and chaotic your energy was. He's never seen you act this hysterical and to be honest, he was really debating asking if you were on your period or not. "Why?"

Pursing your lips together, you release your arms and let them fall on your sides. "You know why!" With that, you turn your back to him and make your way back to your bathroom to hide.

At this point, you felt it was acceptable to act unbearable- he left you feeling insignificant and you weren't going to hold it in anymore.

If you stayed there any longer you knew you would break down into tears. Showing your vulnerable side this early into an argument was too easy, you have to show how bold you were in order to get your point across.

Or anger across.

But it was really hard to hold a grudge, he was just so- loving, despite your recent incidents. Deep down, he did care about you and wanted to validate your feelings- or as best he could.

Grabbing anything you could find near your sink, you begin opening some moisturizer and splatter it around your hands to keep you busy. You could feel Pedro come inside your shared bathroom but you don't dare to peep his way.

"Honey- please," you heard him release a soft sigh as he stood behind you, watching through your huge mirror in front of the two of you. He could make out your distressed appearance and you were absolutely not fine. "You can't just steer clear from this, we need to talk about it-"

Slamming the poor jar on the counter, you swiftly twist your body to his front and feel all the rage taking control. "But did you want to talk all those times I called you?! No, you didn't give one fuck about me or Leia!"

"You named your dog after Princess Leia? That's smart," Andrew butted in, grinning. "You know, since he's in the Mandalorian and Star W-"

"We get it."

Maybe it was wrong to bring your beloved corgi into such a serious topic, but she was abandoned by her father too.

"I did talk to you! I made sure to call you whenever I had time an-"

"I'm glad I made it into your schedule- but maybe if you considered adding some compassion and empathy it wouldn't feel like I'm just another business call you hate!"

Panting, you send daggers his way as his eyes widen. Did you just say he doesn't care about your calls? Impossible- he loves your calls, it makes his days better.

"You aren't a business call and you know that. Honey, please understand- hey!" He cuts himself off once you finally had enough of his poor attempts to defend himself, trying to flee but he ends up being quicker on his feet and yanking you back to his arms.

But once you were wrapped around him, even though it was for pure captivity and not warmth, you instantly broke down. He didn't know you were in tears until he felt his shirt become damp and still then he just thought you were trying to spit on him out of anger.

Hearing your tiny whimpers, he immediately glanced down and lifted you up to catch a clear view of your face, despite your protests and blockings. "Baby, I-I didn't mean to make you cry-"

"You don't mean a lot of things," you spit out, swatting his hands that dared to reach your face. You weren't in the mood to make up, all you wanted to do was sleep your troubles away, especially with the draining work day you had.

Continuing your pulling, Pedro began becoming annoyed with your strong protests against his affection. Isn't this what you wanted? "Why won't you let me hold you? I want to console you, can't I be your boyfriend for the night and tomorrow you can continue hating me?"

"You see my tears and now you want to hold me but admit we'll still be out of place tomorrow? That's acceptable for you?" you laugh ruthlessly, allowing space to be brought in front of you. "Do you hear yourself?"

Groaning, he rubs his face hard before speaking his mind, trying not to sound too furious and scare you. "What do you want me to do? I admit, I did lack some energy-"

"Some?" you snort to yourself, your face still wet.

"Don't interrupt me," he declared, shaking his head at how rude you were becoming. "I wasn't the best partner, okay?! There, I admit it, but you don't understand how it is working constantly and not being able to see family and friends and-"

"It's like you don't even know me at all," you ignorantly chuckle over his nonsense and walk towards your bed.

What a way to dismiss your feelings.

"That's not what I meant," he sighs, following after and stopping you from opening your covers and hiding underneath them. "It's just hard being away from everyone I love, I'm in a different country. It's not like I can drive an hour away and suddenly see them!"

"I can't do that either!"

"Can't you just please, please, please- consider that my mindset is not good right now," he declares, his eyes filling with sadness as his arms slowly find your waist. Taking a deep breath, you watch as he looked up at the ceiling before biting his lip. "I know I am not being the best partner right now- or for the past few months, but I am trying."

As soon as uncertainty flushed your face, his hands tightened as his expression deepened into an emotion you never seen him explore before- dejection.

"I can't promise you I'm suddenly going to wake up and give you 110% every interaction we have," he began, his voice lowering as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "But I confess- I am being a little shit and I am willing to work on that. Just please- please don't push me away. Try to understand my situation."

He wasn't wrong, his life switched around once he accepted the role of Joel Miller and you should've known from the start he would face some difficulties. Maybe you were being too self-centered and invalidated his feeling too, not just him.

Sometimes he wasn't good with words when expressing himself and made you feel as if you weren't as popular as him, but you knew it was never his intention to hurt you like that. He had a heart and loved to use it.

Fighting over work should never be a reason to be miserable especially when it's how you both get your income.

"I-I understand," you lightly speak up, watching as his eyes light up by the sound of your now calm voice filling his ears. "I just want you to know that it didn't make me feel good-"

"Of course it wouldn't make you feel good, I was being horrible," Pedro intercepted, pulling you into a tight hug and landing his face in your neck. "And if I wasn't thousands of miles away I would totally spoil you with kisses and chocolates as my sorry."

"Chocolates are still in favor," you joke and feel him softly swat your bottom in disapproval.

Pulling away, he leans his face closer to yours and plants a sweet kiss upon your lips before backing up an inch and whispering softly, "I love you, you know that right?"

Smiling, you slowly nod and surprise him with a deeper kiss before answering him back with a familiar, "I love you, too."

"You better," he smirks, pulling his body on top of yours, hearing your light squeaks once your back hit the mattress and his lips snuck their way into the crook of your neck.

"Did you end up getting chocolates?" Andrew immediately questioned once you finished your long recollection of memories.

"That's not important," Florence rolled her eyes.

"I mean he did promise her it."

Chuckling at his curiosity, it amused you how focused he was about some candy. "Yes, he did- for like a month and then I got over them."

"Understandable," Andrew replied, looking down at his lap.

Florence jumped over him, making herself sit closer to you as he winced at her sudden movements. "Then what happened?! I mean, there had to be more right?"

"My god woman, I hope you're not working for TMZ," Andrew joked.

She shushed him before leaning closer to you, signaling you to continue on with your memories. "After that fight, things became pretty normal again. We would call each other with far more energy than before and he would even fly back home often to keep our communication strong."

"And how long did that last?"

Frowning, you took a small breath. "Like three months- then we started fighting more."

"Over?"

Rubbing your face, you groaned. "He went back to lacking energy! But that's not even the worst part."

"Please don't tell me he cheated," Andrew begged, covering his eyes with his hands while pulling a sorrow look. "I would never be able to look at him the same."

"I don't know if he did cheat- but I did find out two months before we ended things that he stayed the night at his exes."

Loudly gasping, the company you had began freaking out with their jaws dropping- literally. Florence angrily furrowed her brows, "you've got to be kidding? How is that allowed in a relationship?- It's not!"

Crossing your legs, you shrug as a way to answer her. You really did wonder what was going through his head when he did that. Sadly, you couldn't believe a word he said after you found out what he did.

Maybe that's why you were fine with ending things- because the trust was slowly disappearing.

"Not to mention he would always be with her and ditch plans with me," you form a tight smile, trying not to make things awkward but it was too late.

Who could possible hear this and not feel embarrassed for you? Classic move on his part to follow the 'being friends with my ex is okay' stereotype, but it only left you feeling unwanted and flawed.

Were you not good enough to be in his arms all those times he ditched you for her? And why couldn't he tell you what was really going on- unless he was truly hiding something unspeakable.

"Spill the beans."

Hearing a door slam, you jump up in a daze. You could feel sleep still linger on your body as you crank your neck to the side, capturing the bright '12:47 pm' located on top of your nightstand.

Slowly yanking your body up, you don't stretch as you hurry out of your room to the living room in search of the mysterious person who was either your missing boyfriend or an intruder.

Catching sight of his bright yellow t-shirt as he opens the refrigerator, you could feel your body boil up. "Where have you been? You snuck out last night without even telling me- do you even understand how worried I was?!"

Watching as he gradually turns his head to face yours, Pedro closes the fridge before leaning against the kitchen counter- completely relaxed despite your current state.

"I was out with friends," he declared, grinning to try and take pressure off from you- it didn't work. "I'm sorry, I will tell you next time. I didn't mean to worry you, my love."

Placing your hands on your hips, it pains you that you secretly don't believe a word he's saying. Normally, if this were the case, he would text you if you were sleeping or call you in the morning to inform you with what he'd done.

He did neither one.

Maybe you should test him? Ask him questions and see if he'll freeze up?

"And who were you with?"

He smiled, grabbing a cup from the pantry while easily answering, "Diego and Oscar- we had a couple of drinks and Oscar thought it would be best I stay the night."

Nodding swiftly, you examine him to see if there were any signs of him lying- there weren't. Fuck, you forgot he was an actor. It's literally his job to control his emotions! "And why didn't you call or at least send a simple text?"

After hearing your words, Pedro sends you a small smile before gently placing his cup down. Walking up to you, he opens his arms. "Baby, is that why you're so upset? Because I didn't call?"

Before you could answer, he engulfs you in his arms before swaying you both around. Feeling vibrations as he let out light giggles, you instantly dropped any suspicions you may have had because he had to tell the truth- he would never lie to you.

It's surreal how easily you could throw any convictions out the window when he touched you. It's like he jogged your memory.

"Well, why didn't you at least text?"

Removing his head from your neck, he squeezes you waist and sends you an amused smirk . "Because I was insanely drunk and if I would've used my phone it probably would have resulted in me leaving you hundreds of drunk voicemails confessing my love for you."

"And that's bad?"

He chuckled, shaking his head before pinching your side. "No, but it sure as hell is annoying."

Standing up straighter, you cautiously nod at his answer and watch as he lovingly smiled down at you. "Okay, I believe you."

"Did you really believe him?" Andrew asked.

"I call bullshit," Florence confidently declares, strong on her view that Pedro was not an honest person.

"Let me finish the story!"

Loud footsteps could be heard near your hallway as you stood behind the oven, trying your best to not burn these damn chocolate chip cookies.

Such a basic recipe yet so complex- it was truly aggravating.

"Y/n? Where are you?!" you heard you assistant squeal from a distance.

Trying to properly put your mitten on, you murmur a small "kitchen" before preparing yourself to open the oven. The amount of times you burned yourself thinking it was cool enough not to wear protection-

Point is- always wear protection.

Opening the oven door, you pull the tray of freshly baked cookies towards you as the footsteps became clearly audible. Right when the cookies were in your grip and being lifted, you heard your assistant yelp-

"Pedro was caught leaving his ex's house two days ago."

Throwing yourself up into a standing position, you forget about the tray of cookies until you feel the burning sensation upon your left arm. You accidentally pulled the tray too close to you. "Ow!"

Instantly panicking, your assistant rushes to your side in support and grabs a towel to fill with ice. Pressing downwards on the wound, you wince at the pressure that was building.

"What the hell are you talking about?" you still question, extremely curious to uncover what this situation was.

His ex? That's absurd, he hasn't dated anyone in years when you first met. It's definitely not like he was in contact with them when you made it official, he was always firm when it came with communicating with past relationships.

That was a big no-no, especially when one of your ex's tried reaching out after your last movie dropped. Pedro made it very clear how unhappy he was when he made an appearance at your premiere- your boyfriend not daring to leave your side and even blocking your view whenever your ex had the chance to gawk you up close.

At the time, people thought Pedro only attended because he was close with the director and has always been friendly with other actors. Little did they know he was being extra friendly with you behind the curtains.

"Someone snapped photos of him outside of her door! It looks like he just woke up, too." Grabbing the phone from her hands, you pull it closer to your face and watch what the screen uncovered.

There he was, your boyfriend of two-years smiling brightly as he steps outside her door in the clothes he wore the night before. The same ones he manipulated you with about being with Diego and Oscar that night.

Not just that, but peering on the side of the door was indeed his tall, beautiful ex who definitely aged like fine wine. Hell, she was gorgeous and everybody knew that.

And the fact that they broke up due to their long distance, at the time, did not help this situation. Now that they lived a few cities away, what now? Were you just a doormat he could walk all over and eventually throw away whenever he wanted something new?

Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, you refuse to take your eyes off the screen as your assistant begins speaking. "Did you know he slept over?" Glancing up, she takes your downcast face as an answer and swiftly pulls you in a tight hug. "Oh no, I'm so sorry."

You were sorry for yourself, too. How could he lie right to your face so easily knowing he was doing it- intentionally. And the most fucked up part was he probably knew you would believe him- just like all the other times you did.

"I saw that picture!" Andrew exclaimed, bewildered at his recollection. "I thought the paparazzi caught him lacking after a hook-up- damn, I wish I would've known you were together sooner."

"Same, I would have unfollowed him," Florence added. "And nobody would've known it was because of you- since you two never been public."

Forcing a smile, you give her a tiny nudge on the arm. "Gee, thanks for being so considerate."

"Continue!"

"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before your flee.

Let's just say, things were pretty...eventful once you discovered his scheme.

For starters, after bawling your eyes out on your poor assistant's shoulder, she made her departure in order to clean up the spare bedroom she offered you to take if you weren't comfortable staying at your own place.

You accepted.

Once she was out the door, you fled to your bedroom and grabbed any suitcase close by and began stuffing it to the brim, not caring how disorganized it was professing as you reached for more clothes.

You were almost done packing your second bag full of makeup and bathroom necessities when you heard your front door open. Jumping up, you felt your eyes widen once you heard your name being chanted on by your boyfriend. "Y/n?!"

"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, drastically glancing around your now messy bathroom to make changes to your plan- only take things you really need.

Seconds pass and you find yourself zipping your bag and rushing out the door, that was until your body roughly collided with another- causing you to drop your belongings and land on the floor. Groaning, you hesitantly rise, immediately finding your boyfriend's body nearing yours as he pleads to help you off the ground.

"Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming out," he apologizes, using his fingertips to clasp your forearms to level you. "Look, I need to tell y-"

"Get off of me," you grit, forcibly slapping his palms off you, causing him to cease and stare stunned. He has never seen you once be this aggressive. Sure, you would reject his embrace whenever you two fought here and there, but slap? Not ever.

Brushing roughly past him, you gripped your larger suitcase by its handles and made a beam to the closest exit. You couldn't be around him, not when thoughts of him being unfaithful constantly drowned your head.

A strong tug of your makeup bag made you halt your movements, not by choice, as Pedro made sure to tighten his grip to prevent you from leaving. Glancing down at his now white, clenched hands, you glare. "Let go."

Shaking his head, he stared you down- irritated that you would just pack up and leave so quickly without even hearing his side of the story. Yes, he should have told you what really happened that night- but he knew how you'd react.

It was better to keep it sealed until he was ready to unveil- or so he thought.

"You let go," he hissed, raising one of his hands and smacking yours with it. You hate how much stronger he still was while only using one hand while you had two- fuck his strength and your poor muscles.

Groaning, you dig your feet onto the ground harder as you continue your tug-a-war charade with your selfish boyfriend who didn't seem to believe space was an understandable coping mechanism after he shattered your small heart.

"Fine," you yelp, shoulders falling slightly as he eases his grip- still holding on though. "We both let go on 3."

Tilting his head, he suddenly grew suspicious by your random middle ground. He knew you well enough to know you don't give up that easily, especially when he's fully sure, by your bolting efforts, you saw the picture. "How do I know you won't just run off after?"

"You're faster and stronger than me, you'll catch me eventually."

Internally agreeing, he knew you had a point. Even if you did escape, your little legs weren't going to get you far- he knows from all the times he tackled you down after you countlessly would steal his food.

"1," you begin, eyeing him to see if he would follow.

"2," he stared at you back, cautiously watching your every step.

Taking a deep breath, you count again. "3!" With that, you release your grip from your bag and watch as he still clutches on to the strap. "What the hell- we agreed on 3 we'd both let go!"

Nervously chuckling, he placed the bag on the ground and sheepishly smiled at you. He was glad to see you finally calming down. "Sorry, I didn't think you would actually do it."

Sending him an annoyed glance, he scratches the back of his neck for assuming you wouldn't follow your word. "Trust me, I always tell the truth."

Wincing at your cold tone, he frowns by your hard demeanor. "About that- I was going to tell you-"

Softly placing a hand over your head, you release a sound of discomfort and miss the way his eyes wander in curiosity.

"Can we talk about this after I take my supplements? I am not feeling too good," you cut him off, slowly touching your forehead as you watch his concern grow. "I forgot to take them this morning."

"You know you get bad migraines when you don't take them," he declared, sighing as he raised his hand and began softly rubbing your temple in ease.

He believed you were being serene because you weren't livid and allowed him to stop you from leaving- how wrong he was.

"I know but I had a crammed morning-"

"This is why we need to hire someone to walk Leia, we don't have enough time majority of the week!" he exhales, making you stare at the floor for the point taken. But there was no way you'd hire someone to walk your dog, that's ridiculous and a waste of money. "We'll talk after, let me grab them- stay here."

Sadly nodding, you allow him to flee towards your bathroom in search for your medicine. Peering you head a few inches to the side, you wait till the coast is clear before slowly, but firmly, grabbing your once lost bag and dashing out of your bedroom.

"I almost forgot about Leia," you muttered to yourself, instantly feeling bad at the thought of how quick you were to forget your baby. How terrible of a mother were you.

And what even was more mind blowing was how Pedro didn't catch your innocent acting. Truthfully, he must be trying to be extra helpful so you would believe him. Too late.

Finding your white corgi near the kitchen, you whistle lowly for her to follow as you peddled your way to your garage. "C'mon doggie, if daddy notices our escape plan he won't let us leave that easil-"

"Y/n?!"

Jaw dropping, you shoot a glance of panic to your dog, who only blankly stares back, before rushing to your parked car. "Just like Batman and Robin- now jump in," you hushed, opening the back seat so you could not only throw your bags back there- but also your tiny-legged corgi who struggles at first, but eventually makes it in.

Once you jumped into your seat and turned on the car, you catch a breathless Pedro rushing out through the door to your side. "Fuck."

"You tricked me!"

"You slept with another woman, asshole!" you yell back, glaring as he rolled his eyes- outraged by how unreasonable you were becoming. All he wanted to do was sit you down and have a normal conversation about this, but instead you kept running away.

Once again, he thinks you need to work on your communication skills.

"You used your failing health to your advantage- how sick are you?" he yelped, offended.

"They were gummy supplements!"

Touching your car door, he sternly peers at you as you quickly lock your doors in case he tried opening it. "I did not sleep with another woman," he started, inhaling strongly before releasing it. "Why would I do that when I am in a committed relationship? Huh? Do you think I am capable of cheating?"

Shrugging innocently, you pull a sarcastic face. "Not sure, I do know you're capable of lying- maybe infidelity is the cherry on top?"

Mouth gapping, he sends you a look of hurt and for a second you feel terrible by your choice of words. In your heart, you wanted to take it back- but your head thought otherwise.

"I would never be unfaithful to you- that's not who I am," he firmly states, feeling like absolute shit that you would even accuse him of being with another woman when you were all he thought about every single second of the day.

Dryly chuckling, you nod along to his words. He feels his heart ache, as if hundreds of knives jabbed through the delicate muscle by your painful mien. Did you really think that lowly of him?

"That's who you are to me now."

Once those words flew out of your mouth and he was able to process it clearly, he paused. Whole body turning stiff and cold, he scolded you profoundly before fiercefully charging towards your car door and pounding for entrance.

It was like a nerve was touched and he was not willing to be forgiving anymore. You struck him hard and he knew you meant it out of pure anger- not genuinely, but his awareness soon became replaced with treachery and he so badly wanted you to pay for your foul words.

"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before fleeing.

Mentally checking off your items before departure, you inhale sharply before lowering down your car's mirror and pressing your garage remote- allowing the door to gradually rise and Pedro to panic.

Cursing in his head, he couldn't let you drive away or else he might never see you for days and he couldn't bear the thought of you moping around in agony without at least hearing from him- the man in the picture- what actually happened that night.

Pressing on the lever and angling down to reverse, you nervously press on the gas and allow your car to drift back as your poor dog watched through the backseat his dad embarrassingly urging you to not go.

You prayed the neighbors couldn't hear a thing, if the cops came you're sure you would never go out in public for at least six months.

Realizing that it was now or never, you see from the corner of your eye a figure running towards the back of your car before a loud thump was heard.

Shakily, pressing on the brakes and putting your car on park, you jump out in horror by the sight of legs near your back tires.

You hit him.

"Shit!" you gasped, involuntarily sprinting- as if your body just knew how to react- and dropping down to your boyfriend's lifeless body-

"You ran him over?!" Andrew and Florence shrieked, interrupting your storytelling, causing you to glare and shush them.

"Shut the fuck up- it's getting to the interesting part!"

Hugging his body tightly, you could feel your face began to fall down and your body slowly begin to tremble. In a matter of seconds, you just knew your garage wasn't going to be a pretty sight to see.

Hitching your breath, you run your hands to your boyfriend's chest and shake him softly in hopes he would open his eyes- he didn't. With tears flushing down your face, you sniff as you grip onto him harder. "Please w-wake up," you begin, trying your best to keep your touch on him but you were a jittering mess. Not being able to stay still, you press your ear over his chest to see his he still had a pulse.

Sighing in relief, he did.

Squeezing his face, you frown as his expressionless face stills. Realizing he might have passed out over a concussion, your lips begin to tremble as you finally breakdown in tears and cradle him.

Leaning over from his side, you bend your body and embrace his head into your neck. "I am such a-a fucking idiot," you squeak, your eyes shutting as you don't have the power to keep them open. "I-I love you- I should've just stayed and t-talked-!"

Cutting yourself off, you ironically feel like the lifeless one despite your literal unconscious boyfriend being in your arms at the moment. Bitch, you really had the nerve. Swiftly kissing his cheek, you plunge yourself into his neck and cushion him with your body- being as fragile as ever when handling him.

Quivering in misery, you keep a strong grip onto him before you felt pressure along your side. "It's been minutes and you still haven't called 911? I could've been dead by now."

Screaming, you instantly drop the figure once on top of you and force your thighs to back up, causing you to sit perplexed on the concrete floor.

Glancing back up, you find your boyfriend brightly grinning your way, using his arms to hold his upper portion up as you looked back in confusion. Didn't you hit him?

"I was my own stunt double for some scenes," he speaks up, smiling to himself proud as you continued staying still, confused as to what had just happened. "As long as you have the right mentality- you can take a pounding."

Registering where he was going with this, you scoff and quickly allow your feet to hit the ground. Following after you, Pedro jumps at your unpleased sight and watches as you cooly open your back door to let your dog jump out before marching towards the door to your house.

"Wait? Are you mad at me for that, too?" He calls out, tilting his head in question and proceeds to get his answer by the slamming of the door behind you. "Never mind."

Angrily storming through your hallway, you accidentally run into the wooden desk placed against the wall. "Ugh!" you scream, turning around and giving it one hard kick before making your way towards your destination- the kitchen.

"What did the desk ever do to you?" Pedro mumbled to himself, stopping right by it once you were out of sight and fixing it back up against the wall, making sure the books settled on top were nested properly before going after you.

"So that's why one of the legs is chipped? I noticed that-"

"Shut up, Andrew."

"Sorry, go on."

Finding you near the blacked marbled kitchen bar, Pedro ceased his movements. To be honest, he was nervous to confront you. Not only did you find out he slept at his ex girlfriend's house, but he made you believe he was dead.

This was not going to end well.

"How could you do this to me?" He hears you ask, you back being in his peripheral view as you leaned your body over the counter, hands gripping the ends roughly.

"Do what?" he idiotically responds back, mentally slapping himself for having the audacity to question something he surely knows.

Slowly turning around, capturing his soft yet worried eyes, he catches onto your tear ones and breaks down on the inside. "Tell me the truth." you gulp, averting your eyes to your feet as you sense him bobble his head. "Did you sleep with her?"

Choking on air, he frantically shakes his head in dismay, not believing you would actually think that despite the past half an hour of him comprehending that you might so. Maybe he just couldn't believe it would ever come out of your mouth- but this whole situation made him nauseous.

Steadily finding his balance, he inched towards your frail body as you kept your contact with the floor strong, not daring to move it even when the sight of his shoes play in your mind. "Honey," he lowly calls out, lifting his fingers to your chin and hastily bringing your vision to his own. "No- I did not sleep or engage in any sexual nor romantic activity with her."

"Then why did you go to her house and not tell me?!" you cried, nudging his hand off your face, him immediately aiming towards your waist to still have you near. "Why would you do this to me? Why would you sleep over when you know how I would feel?"

"I can't tell you," he confesses, whispering softly. Feeling your face fall, you erupt into tears again as you lift up your palms to hide behind them.

Hiccuping, your hands twitch as they support your weight and force you to fall on top of the counter and continue watering your tears there. Everything was unfair and he couldn't seem to realize how bad your fights have progressed throughout the months.

"If you really care about me," you whimper, still behind your hands as he rubs circles on your waist. "You would consider my feelings and understand why I should know what you did with her."

Sighing, he releases you waist and rubs his forehead in frustration. Pedro wasn't the type to hide things in relationships. In fact, he was amazing when it came to expressing feelings and being honest while you were the same- but you typically took longer to reveal your troubles than he did.

But no matter how loyal he was to you, it wasn't his place to share someone else's business no matter who the association may be.

"I know, baby. I know- believe me," he whispers, pulling you in for a hug and lifting you off the counter as your sobs were felt among his chest. It broke his heart. "But I can't betray her, she needed me and trusted me to see her. I can't just deceive her."

"But you can do that to me?" you reply, catching him off guard as he shuts his eyes tightly by how accurate you were being. "It's okay, I understand."

"No," he shakes his head, groaning before staring you down. "You don't understand, hell- I don't understand this either. But what I need you to know is I did not kiss, flirt, wink, tease, or touch her in any sexual way. We did not have sex - there was no removing of any clothing-"

"Then why did you sleepover?!"

"She needed me," he simply replies, causing you to laugh ridiculy.

"I needed you and you left me," you spit out harshly, not believing how he could defend himself and think you would ever fine with it.

Grunting, he runs his hand over his hair before pouring all of his stress onto you. "What do you want me to do? I told you what happened- she needed me, I helped her, it took longer than expected so I fell asleep on the couch- do you want to touch my knotted back for proof? Because you can!"

"Why am I the one being yelled at?" you respond, watching his face fall in disappointment.

Staying in your position for a minute or two, you continued examining him as he did the same, not knowing where this was headed. That was until he motioned with his hand for you to move closer.

"Come here."

Furrowing your brows, you pause at his words. Did he think hugging was going to solve all of your problems- because it wasn't. "No-"

Feeling his arms glide up along your upper body and finally wrapping around your shoulders, he pressed you up against his chest into the warmest bear hug you might have engaged in.

It was...peaceful.

Sighing, he felt your body soften by the touch. Relaxing, you closed your eyes as he made it his mission to not ease up on his grip. "I didn't do anything with her," he whispers, laying his face comfortably on your shoulder. "I promise, I love you."

Sadly, his confession made you break down more as tears flooded your face and your body fell upon his grip. Easily wrapping his palms on the back of your head, he cradled you tightly and never left your sight once the rest of that day and week.

And that's how that fight ended- with you trusting his sweet nothings and letting him take over your body with his hugs and kisses because he somehow made you believe him.

Every single time.

You wish you could have moved on from that topic that night as you allowed him to show you how much he loved you, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.

Especially when paparazzi exploited more pictures with him and his ex the following weeks later.

"And what about your last fight? You know- the one that ended things," Andrew started, making you halt. "What happened then?"

Quickly standing up, you brushed your sweatpants down before sending him a tight smile. Now that you talked about sad memories you hadn't really thought of in months, you knew the mention of your last fight would only break you.

You weren't ready to undergoing the same pain you felt that night.

"I didn't know these talks about my past would take a toll on me, but they have. I don't want to talk about it, but I appreciate the two of you checking up on me- I really do, but I think its time for me to take a shower and maybe nap- it's been a tiring day."

Feeling your discomfort, Florence and Andrew exchanged a weary glance before looking back up to you, hesitantly nodding. Probably an intense memory, they were determined not to mention it again unless you came forward.

"Alright- but give us a call if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just plain old company!" Florence smiled, wrapping her arms around you for a quick hug before pulling back. "We can even have a sleepover."

"Count me out on that one," Andrew joked, bending down to give you the same hug. "But for real, you can cry on my shoulder any time."

"Thanks," you giggle, soon following them towards your front door as they say goodbye to your dog before departing in their own cars.

What an emotional day it has been.

-

"Do I really have to go? It's no use- I already seen the film. I don't want to rewatch it," you whine as your manager hushes you.

Walking down the side of the theatre, you clutch onto the oversized, black leather jacket you were wearing as your manager and assistant walked on either side of you, directing to to the entrance of a random theatre in the city.

Since the Oscars, nothing has really changed. It's been about three weeks now and there wasn't chaos anymore- it seemed like news about that night had already faded.

Regularly, you did chat with Florence, Shailene, and Andrew on the phone- individually at times throughout your past weeks- but nothing too crazy.

You all had your busy schedules and your manager was still being as hardworking as ever trying to exploit more of you to the press and on the screen. Safe to say, every time she had news it would always be something impressive.

Except for today, when she proudly announced after barging into your house during breakfast that there was a new film premiere you had to attend.

It's not like you opposed the idea- but you watched the film when the production team invited you to their private screening. It would be useless watching it again.

But as persistent as ever, your manager claimed there would be great press and directors attending the public's premiere, following with "an Oscar-nominated actress like you must make themself remembered."

As dramatic as always- but at least she was highly active in your career.

She did everything to make you get noticed, especially when you were at your lowest point mentally after your breakup.

Now onto past relationships, you hadn't heard any news regarding Pedro since you last saw him. Not that you wanted to, but for some reason he was still on your mind. Due to the fact you did sit with your friends ranting about your shared troubles, that's likely the reason.

But all jokes aside, you seriously can't stop thinking about him.

However, you were too scared to admit this to anyone. You tried telling Florence, but every time you mentioned his name she would immediately disregard him, pissed by how he treated you.

Which you loved that she had your back, but you needed someone else to have his own- oddly.

Maybe it was your head deep in thoughts that revealed how you were feeling, but your assistant seemed to notice that you weren't okay- mentally.

After checking in and finding a small crowd, you accepted that maybe most of the audience were in their seats already despite the film starting in almost an hour. Nudging you once your manager left to find one of the producers, you glanced at her as she motioned you to move towards the wall.

"What's up?"

She made a face, practically laughing at your question before continuing on. "Why don't you tell me 'what's up?' The whole ride here you've been silent and I know it's not because you were tired- you slept all afternoon, what's really up?"

Chuckling, you roll her eyes at how nosy she was being- but you knew she only wanted to help you. After working together for years, it was a ritual both of you performed: don't let the other be sad.

Surprisingly, it worked every time. She would hide you from people who upset you while you let her have more vacation days whenever she felt the same.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're thinking about him, huh."

Eyes widening, you shake your head quickly as she laughs at your poor attempt of denying her idea. But she knew right from the moment you got lost in your head that he was the one to blame.

"Don't worry, I won't tell," she whispered loudly, causing you to shove her as she laughed louder.

"Shut up, someone might hear you," you hiss, watching as she tried holding her breath to stop herself from cackling again. She just looked like a fish in need of water.

"Don't think about him then," she teased. "If it's making you lost in your thoughts! Wait- why is he in your head? I thought you hated him?"

Coughing, you shake your head. "I don't hate him- I could never."

"Never?" she raises a brow in shock. "I think we're seeing some progress here. You're falling back in loveeeee with him."

"No way," you scoffed as she grinned heavily. "I'm just thinking about the Oscars since that was the last work-related event I've been to since today and you know- he was there so he ended up in my mind...for a little."

She slowly nods, teasing a smug as makes it pretty clear she did not believe one word you said. Your assistant has seen everything, so she is quite familiar with your thoughts regarding Pedro.

She knows when your happily, sadly, angrily, and crazily daydreaming about him. In this case, she's stuck between happily and crazily- not seeming to find any hints of fury and sorrow through your expressions.

But definitely warmth and frustration- all due to him not being able to leave your head.

"When are you just going to admit you still love him?" She blurts out, causing you to snap your heard towards her. "Everybody sees it, you obviously have a soft spot for him if you let him be near you."

"Near me? He's never near me," you laugh. "And I never show signs I want him back, I don't. I made it clear for months now after perfectly avoiding him at all costs."

"Yeah, but he's still on your mind- that must mean something," she declares, causing your small grin to fall into a tight line.

That must mean something.

Did it?

Shaking that thought away, you reject her idea. "It means he traumatized me."

"It means you're in denial and scared to be with him again," she replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Look, I just know you two are meant to be. Next time you see him, talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him- even if you don't want to admit it in a lovey-dovey way. It can be friendly!"

Giving her a strange look, she lowers her energy quickly before looking around the room, making sure no one saw how enthuastic she became.

"You get the point!" she rolls her eyes. "Just be nice, maybe the both of you can form a friendship or just drift apart knowing there's no hard feelings."

"But there is hard feelings," you declared, pointing out the obvious.

There is a reason why you two broke up, like there is also a reason why you despise him. It all comes down to history and actions, which you've both experienced- which is why, again, you broke up.

"Just..." she started, thinking about it for a second before sending you a sincere glance. "-give it a shot. If you don't hate him, like you said, it wouldn't be terrible to be civil."

Slowly nodding, you understand where she's coming from. This tension between Pedro and you was getting old, and the fact it was only you adding fuel to the non-existent fire since you've broken up is sad.

Especially when all he's been around you was sweet and considerate of your feelings, leaving you alone when he felt your energy- except for that one night, but you have to admit that was your fault for riling him up.

The roughness of heels came marching your way, forcing the both of you to instantly lift your head- finding your manager striking a fake breaming grin with two men beside her. She was trying too hard.

"Girls! This is Greg and Shawn- the writers of the film!" she exclaimed, fluttering her lashes rapidly as both men awkwardly raised a hand, waving it.

Releasing a tiny chuckle, you do the same as your assistant walks closer, sticking out her hand to fully gain their attention and introduce herself.

What can you say- she was a charmer.

Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, your manager slightly pulls you closer to the strangers and strangely bobbles her head- preparing whatever gibberish was about to spit out of her talkative mouth.

"Y/n- the boys thought it would be a great idea to sit in the vip selection among other A-listers- isn't that just lovely? We are very grateful for your offer-"

Boys? Oh god- now she was bonding for her hopeful chances of getting a call for an audition.

Compelling a sweet smile, you feel the only possible response you could give them was a meaningless 'thank you so much' after she literally put you on blast to communicate more. The funniest part about this situation was- you already watched the film!

Clearly you never met these writers- but instead the director himself! Your manager should be satisfied enough with that.

"Would you look at the time,-" Greg- you believe, softly gasps while raising his arm to examine the tiny apple watch planted. "Guests are probably filling up in their seats by now, terribly sorry- but we should probably go."

"I hadn't realized how close we were to showtime- we certainly must continue off our conversation after the film is over!" Shawn proclaims, making your manager nod far too quickly. "I look forward to meeting again."

With that, the two men inclined their motions of farewells before taking off down a dimmed hall, likely finding the exact destination set to premiere their comedic film.

Sighing, you send daggers to your managers who barely blinks before coughing out a swift, "What?"

"You really couldn't wait till after the film was over to sweet talk them?"

Dramatically rolling her eyes at your annoyance, she waves you off by your sudden introversion. It was her job to throw her best compliments about you too them, and she knew you were still too young to understand that everything she did was for a cost.

You.

"C'mon grumpy, let's locate the theatre before you start whining that your feet hurt, too."

Feeling your mouth slightly drop from her remark, you hear your assistant cackle right beside you, using her right palm to hold in her giggles while you mentally prepared for what comeback to throw her way.

You got nothing.

Huffing, your legs followed hers as she guided the two of you towards the same hall the men approached minutes before. The closer you've walked, the larger the capacity gathered around.

For such a low-budget film, it sure did gain quite the crowd.

As the rolling of the ending credits flooded the screen once you sat the last two and a half hours trying to act as if you didn't know what was coming next, you wish you had it in you to say the second time made up for the first- but it didn't.

There we have it, tonight was just not your night and endlessly enough- you couldn't blame it on some silly excuse of watching the same film over again.

Not even your assistant's sneaky offerings of her red licorice lifted your blues- and that speaks enough volume to say the least.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" the whole-heartedly voice of your manager's voice filled your ears as the three of you sat in the same lobby as before, still not finding a way to escape a cold room.

Oh how you abominated the sharp hits of the air conditioning- it frankly made coming to the theaters a horror unless layers of clothing and a blanket was tagged along.

"Why can't we leave? The film is done and people are walking out."

"We still have to talk to Shawn and Greg!" your manager declared, presenting a look of pure determination to get her way with their levels of skill.

Groaning, you throw your head in absolute exhaustion. Fairly, if your manager hadn't had made such an early visit during the morning hours you're sure you would've been in a better mood.

It was like the more you interacted, the less energy you had to give.

In order to survive the next few hours, you needed your phone or who knows how your fake laughters will sound.

And you call yourself an actress.

Sliding your hand to the back of your pockets, you wait for the feel of your large iphone to surface- but that moment never comes. Swiftly, you check your leather jacket ones just in case you slipped it there without realizing.

You didn't.

Anxiously glancing towards your assistant, your trembling hands find her arm. "Have you seen my phone? It's not on me."

Examining your hands before meeting your eyes, she shrugs it off. "Relax, no need to have a nervous breakdown- I'm sure you left it in the car with your bag-"

"No, I had it on me during the previews."

"We did go to the bathroom, too- why not just go check those two places?" she suggests. Concerned filled you, hoping nobody was capable of actually stealing your phone- it would be such a hassle getting another one. "I'll check the bathroom, you check our seats."

Agreeing, the two of you sneakily escape your manager when her back was turned, unpleasantly speed walking down the familiar hall before parting ways to your needed locations.

Opening the thick, black doors and striding up the long runway, your eyes are met with the same darkened seating area you were in less than twenty minutes ago.

Then and there, you use this desertion in power- running towards the middle rows consider 'vip' and begin your inspection. Fuck, you wish your had some form of light to help- you couldn't see shit.

Sliding your fingers among the seat, you lift up the cushions in hopes it mysteriously pops up, but all you find is pieces of popcorn and gum glued down.

Gross.

Feeling your eyes begin to water, you were sure you were seconds away from crying like a little kid over the loss of your beloved possession before you heard a deep voice call out for your attention.

"Is this yours? I heard it ringing when I came back in and- uh," the person froze, not having the ability to finish off their sentence as you gradually lifted your body off the floor into their view.

Hopelessly praying the stranger was regarding your phone, your eyes search for their hands first and there it was- your phone!

The corners of your mouth lift up, as well as the creases around your eyes as you internally cheer for your discovery. However, it faltered once you noticed a familiar tattoo laying on one of their palms. Moving your eyes up, you're sure your smile completely disappears once you recognize those brown eyes.

How did you not catch onto his voice from down there?

"Uh- yeah- that's mine," you nervously reply, choking on your words that probably made you sound like you were about to lose consciousness by how strung you were, and hesitantly reach out for the device.

Pedro quietly lets you grab it, not saying one word as your hands collide for a split second before the object was back in your own. You didn't miss the name that appeared on the lit up screen when touched- your assistant must have tried calling you to see if the phone would ring in the bathroom.

Smart.

Avoiding awkward farewells, Pedro swiftly turns around and makes his way down the theatre stairs, not daring to continue on with the barely existing conversation you shared. He's leaving, that fast?

Thinking about all your past interactions, he would always try to chat with you- even when you did give him the coldest shoulder of all time- because that's who he was: kind.

But now he's...walking away?

"Hey- uhm," you begin, following clumsily after him, almost tripping on one of the steps as he reaches his final steps and doubtfully turns your way. Once you stood another step ahead of him, you feel that swirling feeling in your stomach again.

You were nervous- you've never felt this way around him during your breakup- never.

Adjusting your arms inside your jacket, a small smile is extracted out of you as you watch his stay flat. He did not look interested one bit and it frightened you to death. "Thanks for finding my phone- I-I was really scared there for a minute."

Not reacting to your little laugh at the end, he replied- dull. "I didn't know it was yours, I would have given it to guest services if so."

Ouch, you're sure you're hurt expression was recognizable on the outside as much as it pained you on the inside. He really did not want to talk to you, even when you're showing your appreciation.

He really was over you.

"I know," you squeak out, not missing the way his eyes tiredly scanned your own as his body stood there stiff as ever. "I just wanted to thank you, that's all- you saved me a lot of trouble."

Coldly laughing from that, he nods. "I'm sure I have."

Your body tingled with rage as he carelessly ignored your warmth and threw jabs in return. "What's with the attitude? I'm doing nothing wrong here- I'm trying to be friendly."

Inching up, his face presents a sullen one and you immediately feel intimated by the height he owned and used as his advantage. Just the first few seconds before he spoke alone made you feel his displeasure. "And what about all those times I was friendly? I received shit so forgive me for allowing you to experience the same treatment you give others."

Loss for words, you were speechless and didn't know what to say back. For one, you were alarmed by his hard demeanor he gifted to you. Second, humiliation soared throughout as he called out your imperfections.

In other words, he wanted you to know you were a bitch.

"And I take that back but-"

Pedro was about to burst out laughing in front of your face, but he held himself together in sake of your feelings. Can you believe that, despite the misery he still cared for your state of mind. "Taking back isn't apologizing."

Sneering, you cross your arms as his eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "Apologize for what? You were the one who fucked my life over."

Scoffing, he shakes his head in vexation by your lack of empathy- as always. "Countless of times we would contemplate our faults and how we could move on and now you're discounting your wrongdoings- typical."

Pedro did not want to have another unpleasant argument with you, especially in a public setting again, and decided it was best to just walk away. If he kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't make this altercation worse.

Meeting his broad back, you lightly gasp as he ignores you altogether and makes his leave far too early for your liking. Charging towards him, you feel his back solidify once your fingers yank him to a halt.

You were not done with this conversation, but you did know once you got home you were definitely going to regret how toxic you were radiating in the room.

"Typical? What do you mean by that?"

"Knock it off and let me walk away, y/n," Pedro warns, still facing his back towards you after blocking your attempts of moving him. "We both know how badly this will end."

You know, but for some reason you don't want him to leave. Was that so bad?

"No, I wanna hear exactly what you have to say about me- maybe it'll make me recognize the ignorant ego I have."

"You're talking out in anger, you're trying to cause a fire that I won't let you ignite," he simply replies, his eyes still not found by his hidden appearance.

Very poetic.

Scowling profoundly, you don't realize what you're doing until you're finally met with his provoked display after. Stalking around his body, you stand in front of him and jab a finger towards his chest. "You're preventing me from bettering myself, isn't that what you always wanted?"

Leaning down until his face with inches away from yours, you make out his hard features clearly now. His face expressed discomfort as his eyes creased while lifting- even his lips stayed hard as a rock. "I'm going to tell you one more time, let me go."

Ignoring his cold shoulder, he inhaled a sharp breath before taking matters into his own hands. You don't want to listen? Fine. But he wasn't going to let you drag him into this any further.

Right as you push another finger up against him, your wrist was taken and roughly pushed down by your side as Pedro's body practically belted against yours. "Get off me!"

"Not until you stop fucking around," he grunted, immediately widening his eyes in realization. He knows you don't like when he casually curses directly to you- even when he doesn't harm. "Sorry- I-I meant when you stop playing around."

Praying that a smile doesn't escape you, it made you feel some type of way capturing his manners and how even though you two were on rocky terms- he still had some respect for you.

"Why are we even fighting right now?" you sigh, slowly softening your muscles in forfeit.

"You tell me- it sounds like you want my attention," he casually replied, releasing your hands and stepping back an inch. "Considering you won't let me leave."

"I'm just trying to have a normal, polite conversation! Is that so wrong?"

Softly laughing, he shakes his head in disappointment. "You don't get it."

Scrunching your face, you become lost by his words. "Get what?"

Scanning the wall before meeting your eyes again, Pedro motions his hands between the two of you. "What do you think will come out of us having a conversation? Acquaintances? Maybe a friendship?"

Thinking about it for a second, you feel your head eventually nod as he squeezes his eyes shut in return. Was that not what he's been trying to do- end in good terms? "It's what's healthy for us."

"Us?!" Pedro groans, sending you a tired gaze that had you weak to the knees. "There is no 'us' anymore. You made that perfectly clear after causing a scene last month in front of your friends."

"I didn't plan on that happening a-"

"I'm even letting go the bigger scene you caused inside the after party- isn't that enough to understand why I feel this way?" he adds on, frustrated that you would think otherwise.

You were the one who caused the attention and brought a bad look on his name. He should be shouting at you like you would have done to him if the roles were reversed.

"I'm not saying we should get back together, all I want-"

"-is a friendship? Some sort of relation that won't make us strangers?" he interjects, causing you to stay silent. That was all he needed to understand what you really wanted: not to let him go. "Look, we had our history, but I don't think it's good we keep in contact anymore."

You swear you felt all air leave your body as your face felt cold. Was he breaking up with you- in life itself?

"I-uhm don't- I don't understand," you cough, scared to make a bigger fool out of yourself. You're sure you probably look like a ghost by how much color you've lost since his recent reveal and again- you were grateful this room was dim. "Why can't we at least be friends? Not even that- why can't we at least know we have each other in our lives? Why end up as strangers?"

"What do you mean? We hadn't talked to each other in almost a year till last month! We basically are strangers," he exclaimed, causing you to look down at your feet as your heart ached.

He wasn't wrong- you just hadn't realized he's been right. And to blame was you, not him. You pushed him away in the first place, he was only kind enough to oblige.

And it was surely pathetic how now you wanted him back in your life, even if it meant not even talking just to assure yourself he still had your back.

He didn't.

"Y/n..." he sadly muttered, trying his best not to hurt your feelings as you were still continued to stay downwards- not wanting to disclose more hurt. "You didn't even say happy birthday to me, how can you be considered a friend? Friends don't do that, not to me at least."

This caused you to glance back up to him, disagreeing immediately as to what he was trying to get at. Of course you knew it was his birthday, you celebrated two with him in the past! "I didn't want to make things weird-"

"You never do but still avoid me like the plague and breakdown whenever I'm too close to your liking. I'm sorry for trying to do what's best and leave us in the past,-" he explains, closing his eyes in discomfort, "-but I can't keep letting this go on. I'm too old to be going back and forth as if this is some high school relationship- it's not."

High school relationship- you never knew simple three words could have you shrinking in guilt.

"And I know things will be easier for you when the time comes- I won't be around to nag you," Pedro tries to lighten up the mood but you can't break the line upon your lips. You were emotionless and it made Pedro upset.

Why would he be upset? You finally deserved learning your lesson after treating him as if he was nothing to you. But despite all your flaws, he still cared for you.

He cares so much that he's willing to let you go so you can do better things in life- without him.

Trying to find the right words to say, you give up. There isn't much to discuss now that he wants nothing to do with you.

You fucked up- for real this time.

In fact, you shouldn't even be hurt- you wanted this. Or at least that's what you thought before last month when he wasn't on your mind 24/7.

Maybe it was the way he begged for your forgiveness after not seeing each other for so long that made you realize how badly you adored him nearby.

Maybe it was the attention he was giving you after you continuously rejected his pleads, furthering the argument until he stormed off in the end.

And maybe you should've took his concluding estrangement announcement seriously before he left you last month.

But just like they say, you never know what you have until it's gone.

"I see," you quietly respond, slowly nodding as a faint grin forms among Pedro's lips, appreciating your cooperation over this mess. "Maybe it is best if we stray away from each other- you can even delete my number."

"I already have," he accidentally blurts out, not realizing how bad that sounds until he hears it himself and cringes. Your sufferable reaction didn't make things better.

"You know what," you fake a laugh, trying to calm your voice as you feel it about to crack any second. The tears were heading your way- you just knew it. "Fuck you."

Pedro's face falls, taken back by your inappropriate language. "Excuse me?"

Noticing your rushed attitude, he wanted to stop you and tell you everything was alright. That everything was going to be easy and how the two of you would get passed this.

But he knew he'd be lying.

"You heard me, fuck you," you casually slip out, scoffing as his eyes darken. "For someone who's so kind to others, I would have thought you would know what words were right to say."

"You're one to talk, sweetheart," he chuckled, staring at you in repulse. "Every time you talk you always have to neglect someone else, I'm fucking glad I don't have to witness that ever again."

"Me too, my family was right- you are a joke who wasted my time."

With that, you make your leave to have the chance of having the last word. Maybe if you left this room faster he would forget about your comment. You knew it was harsh but you didn't know what else to say.

You wanted him to hurt- but to what extent?

Your arm was instantly tugged as Pedro pulled you back, not letting his grip go as his face was still filled with resentment. "And your team was right, you are a bitch."

Freezing, you stare at him in shock as his face doesn't fall once. What the hell is he talking about? "Get away from me or else-"

"Or else what? Weren't you the one physically blocking me from leaving minutes ago? What has changed?" he tries to smirk, manipulating you into believing how ruthless he could be when really he was dying to tell you the act he was pulling. "Cat got your tongue?"

Your face felt hot with rage as you yanked your arm off his hand, catching him by surprise as you glared at him. "I'm so glad I never took you back, you're fucking pathetic."

"And I'm insanely glad you didn’t, saved thousands returning that fucking ring."

Those twelve words made you halt and even made Pedro speechless. By the staggered look planted on his face, you could tell he didn't mean to say that.

Ring? As in, an engagement ring?

Weakly failing to stand straight, you felt your voice crack. "You were going to propose?"

Shaking his head, he swiftly backed away. "I need to go." Before you could stop him, he was already out of the theatre and probably near larger gatherings of people that would only prevent you from talking about this more.

Holding your face with your hands, you couldn't even cry. You didn't know what to do, you were utterly lost for words.

If he was really going to propose like he hinted at, what meaning did your last fight have? Nothing made sense and you don't know how you could move on from this now that he wanted you out of his life completely.

Hearing doors open, you instantly averted your gaze in hopes he had come back in and planned to properly finish what he started.

Instead, you manager came barging in while gripping onto your assistant's wrist harshly.

"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere and to find out your stupid assistant-"

"Don't you dare disrespect her," you sternly cut her off, watching as her face falters by your sudden tone. "If you're here to pester us some more, feel free to walk home."

Laughing in shock, your manager tilts her head at your rudeness. "Excuse me? It wasn't my fault your assistant wondered off. After everything I have done to protect you and your career you feel the need to throw me out-"

"Did she hurt you?" you cut her off, focusing on your assistant who has gone quiet. You notice the redness on her small wrists before she slowly nods, looking down in fear your manager would try something else.

"You're fired," you simply state, pushing past your frantic ex- manager as you lightly guide your assistant out the door.

You ignore the rage your ex- manager unveils as you make it back to the lobby. Ignoring the waves random people sent your way in hopes of finding your destined car sooner so you could help your assistant with her injuries and be home already.

And in bed to think about what the fuck just happened tonight.

+

tagslist: @d4rno @ddeonmixx @sloanexx @soilaluna @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @floralsightings @prettiestmark @queereddie @beltzboys2015-blog @valopz @thhriller @lovebynorth @tomorrowseverything @cheesemittens @jasminedragoon @prettyinpunk85 @marysucks-blog @iwillbiteabitch @daddy-din @blacklist07 @amberpanda99 @sciencebros1128 @jklkverr @nini123 @miss-goldenweek @pedropascalfan221 @sagggy @aphrcdites @spacelatinos4life @esstark @tongibatongi @maviee @gimalo135 @spicymochi15 @kittenlittle24

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #joel miller #tlou #tlou joel #pascalispunk #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal angst #pedro pascal fluff #pedropascaledit #fanfiction

[alittlebirb]

Some funny business from the MCC 22 Aqua Axolotls!

-Scar saying he might dislike PKT more than snakes, and Hbomb correcting him that he's terrified of both

-Hbomb and Scar making fun of Grian for having to make a thumbnail

"What a Youtuber." -Hbomb

-Hbomb wearing a Hawaiian shirt in real life

-Grian asking if Scar was asking Jellie to open the door, and just concernedly replying "Oh dear."

-Grian being very self aware that starting his stream one (1) second early is very very good for him

-An update about Nana from Ghana, with her giving "rich blessings" and asking everyone to come to Ghana, and Grian showing several pictures of the school they helped raise money for!

-The entire team shading Grian for not unmuting until they're like, 10 seconds into the decision dome

-Grian grumbling he does not like BB, and Scar reassuring him "it's okay, Hawkeye's here."

-Everyone interrogating Scar about the state of his technology

-MeltDown is here and I'm terrified.

-Scar yelling at Grian to "Get out of the melty room!!"

-Grian running off from the rest of the team like a child without a leash

"I feel like I've got nothing to lose, so this MCC I'm going crazy." -Grian

-False vanishing through the floor in front of Scar

-Grian and Hbomb being the last survivors in their team and just chilling on a block together

-False telling Scar to use the heater, heater Scar, you're right there-!, in MD

-False figuring out to use the heaters as an extra block to climb up like a freaking genius

-"Okay, I'm starting to understand this game now that we're on the last round!" -Grian

-Scar being the resident bow connoisseur

-Grian being an absolute feral little freak and going after Green immediately

-Grian screaming "Scar noooo!" as he fell down into the lava and Scar calling him a "sweet angel"

-Grian calling surviving and getting coins "the barn strategy" and Scar correcting him that it's "the right strategy"

-Scar saying MD is more fun is SOT and everyone telling him to slow down now, you might upset someone who's listening

-Scar saying he can't "intimidate the other team with his abs"

-Scar concluding that watching Top Gun improves your performance and Grian replying that "yeaaaah, he totally watched it last night"

-Hbomb telling Grian that a pro tip for Minecraft is turning off bobbing completely, and Grian saying he likes the bobbing though!

"My immersion!" -Grian

-Grian somehow ending up saying "there's gotta be someone out there who likes that" in response to vomit. "Someone who's like, 'nice'."

And everyone just letting that. sit. in the air.

"I didn't know how to respond to that." -Hbomb

-Scar asking if they can talk about Star Wars to boost his confidence in PKT

-Grian saying the H in Hbomb stands for Hermit

"I revealed today that the name Hbomb94 for the last 16 years was a long con to join Hermitcraft, and you guys can't turn me away because now I own Hermitcraft." -Hbomb

-Grian mentioning that the other day he said "y'all" and getting the immediate response of that being incredibly cursed and to never do that again

-Grian calling out to repeatedly rotate and False crying out "what does rotate even mean??"

-Scar telling Hbomb he'll be his bodyguard against Cub

-Hbomb saying it's "the moment of my life!" when he caught Dream in 10 seconds

-Scar saying Tommy's "a bit of wizard, leaping and swooping like that"

-Scar saying he's "lasted two seconds longer this time" and Hbomb telling him "baby steps"

-Scar falling and dying directly after he jubilantly yelled "PARKOUR CHAMPIONS!"

-"Normally I'm holding Pete's legs together, and keeping him back, but now he's been set free." -Grian about Pete's team being in first place

-Hbomb dunking Pink because "screw Pink!"

-Grian voting for RSR and Scar telling him that's good "Top Gun energy"

-Scar admiring Quig's birthday hat and Hbomb saying "the NoxCrew is too nice to him, we need to take him down a peg. We need to beat him up."

-False and Hbomb talking about becoming dolphins 🐬

-False calling Scar out for just standing there when the RSR round started, and Scar replying he was "working out my issues!"

-Grian and Scar getting into top 10 in RSR and Scar saying "this is what we do in Hermitcraft."

-Hbomb saying he punched Tubbo in the face and he deserved it

-Grian saying he has a "mind like a goldfish".

-Hbomb taking the floor out from False and causing her to die, and then falling afterwards and False yelling "Karma!"

-Scar calling Big Beans an S Tier

-Scar saying he hopes Pete wins, and everyone immediately going no! he's had enough wins already!

-Grian asking Scar how many wins he's had, and Scar saying "multiple in my dreams".

"My mom tells me I'm a winner every day!" -Scar

"It must be true!" -False

-Scar calling out to the Mega Chicken that the HITW section is KFC

"They'll cut you up and turn you into chicken nuggets! Save yourself!"

-Hbomb lamenting that he hasn't been opening Pokemon cards, and Grian immediately asking what set? what set?

"I've had to stop opening cards. I don't know what to do with all my spare ones." -Grian

"Keep them for your happiness." -Hbomb

-"Nooo, goodbye gentlemen!" -Scar while falling in HITW

-"Oh, 32nd, that makes me upset to my chest hair." -Grian

-Scar thanking Shubble for dying because now he won't be last

-Hbomb seeing the exclamation mark wall and saying "it's yelling at me!"

-If I had a nickel for each time Hbomb got a coin balance involving 69, and Grian replied "nice", I'd have two nickels, which is just a little bit cursed

-"It upsets me that Timmy is doing well. He lost our team SOT last time and I am haven't forgiven him." -Grian

-"I'm completely fine. I haven't been failing at all." -False

-False predicting Scar's Curse will ensure that one player will always be in 40th, and this time it's her turn

"I know how to fix this. I'm putting my Genshin outfit on." -False, who does not play Genshin, and only has this outfit because her team lost a tournament

-Hbomb asking if False is drinking water or wine today, and False replying she's drinking squash (juice)

"Yes, I'm a little kid." -False

-Scar seeing the error of his ways and finally pronouncing gong correctly

-Scar getting on the Ace Race leaderboard on the practice server, which then sparked his leaderboard obsession

-"I could never hate you." -Grian to Hbomb

"I could change that." -Hbomb

-Grian seeing the Space Race map name being written backwards and delightedly saying "I like! That's my kind of humor."

-"I had some really good moments mixed in with catastrophic mistakes." -Grian

-Everyone celebrating NOT LAST SCAR in Ace Race

-False realizing that "wait, didn't Scar get a really good time on the practice server?" and everyone immediately saying don't shame him, don't rub it in...

-"Grian, I need a gong." -Scar

"I put it away already!" -Grian

"I need. a gong." -Scar

-The mega chicken swap being gloriously chaotic

-"Hold down W! Just go! Always forward! Kick ass! Take names!" -Hbomb's advice for BB and life

-Hbomb asking Scar to activate Hawkeye mode and Scar replying "YES".

"He's been waiting for you to say that his entire life." -Grian

-Scar calling Hbomb "HBeam" and Griab immediately decreeing that nickname is going to stay (man loves his nicknames)

-Grian killing a couple players in BB and screaming "FINALLY I HAVE SOMETHING FOR MY SECOND CHANNEL!"

-Aqua and Purple fighting it out and False just sneaking in, filling the wool, and getting the win

-The team using Grian's run straight in approach for good and succeeding in the strat to send him in and then have Scar sneakily wool rush

-Grian and Scar celebrating the wins while False desires more kills

-"I think we might have made the other teams angry, which is a good thing. Psychological warfare." -Scar

-Everyone recognizing that Jojo is crACkEd

-"My whole goal here is to make you proud, H." -Scar about SOT

-"Can I ask something real quick? Why's the chat calling me Sand Daddy?" -Sand Daddy Scar

-Scar giving regular reports that "This is your local Sand Daddy reporting, we have 60 seconds left!"

-"There's a pillager in the water!" -False

"Oh, that's my buddy, we're just chilling." -Scar

-"Scar are you ready to take this sand delivery?" -Grian

"Oh, I'm ready, take it to Daddy...sorry I made that weird." -Scar

-Grian getting the redstone puzzle first try!

-"I'm always upset. That's my secret." -Hbomb

-Hbomb trying to stay inside the red tunnel and Grian going down the blue tunnel then Scar saying they only have 50 seconds left and Grian just found the blue vault and H and Grian racing back with sand while the timer went down to 10 seconds and the 10 second count down booming throughout the labyrinth but Grian got lost. H gets the sand in just in time but it's still counting down. Grian finally escapes the tunnel and gets the sand in with less than 10 seconds left and I'm left dead on the floor

-"I got 31st! Sorry, I have a thing about the number 31 this MCC, apparently." -False

-"What the audience needs to know is that we're all friends, we're all good, but in Sands of Time it all goes out of the window." -Grian

-"My chat was getting very upset at me because I took off my chestplate in order to show off my abs." -Scar, preceding the rest of the team absolutely losing their minds at him

-The mega chicken swap wrecking chaos in the last round, the players splitting into either BM or TGGTOS, Wilbur being indecisive in choosing and Scar trying to tempt him into BM with his abs

-"You'll always be our Build Mart manager." -Scar to Grian o7

-Tubbo throwing Scar off the map and everyone calling him evil

"Can we box him in and crush him on this map?" -Scar

-Everyone rooting for Tina in the honey map

-"For a brief shining moment I was first. Then a door closed in front of me, and I was like aww." -Scar

-"I need Fruity B." -Grian

-Scar admiring the little crown on the plane in the TGTTOS map

-Everyone understanding that yes, every single player will be cheering on Captain Sparklez. Pink needs to win.

-"I almost called them Pink Flamingos. I thought they had a really long neck for a second." -False

-False and Grian tsking at H for rooting for Red

"You don't need to be different!" -Grian

-"Right in the shnoot!" -Grian after Dream was shot

-Grian and Scar yelling at Pink to say "Hot guy!" when they shoot

-"Oh, it is Captain on Captain violence!" -Hbomb

-Hbomb starts opening up Pokemon cards and Grian starts eating his yogurt

"What should I do?" -False

"What do you have on your desk?" -Hbomb

-Grian sending Hbomb a Very Cool Card over Discord because H is the only one who'd understand

-H commentating on the normalization of streamers eating in stream

-Grian and Hbomb editing the script to include Captain Sparklez getting the final shot in the final round and getting the ultimate win

-Martyn is now the MCC player who's gone the longest without getting a single win

-"Everyone will remember where they were the day that Captain got his first win!" -Hbomb

-"Aww, bless his little cotton socks!" -Grian about Captain Sparklez

-Sparklez getting a lil Jerry next to him on the podium and Scar saying now he has to win, so he can get a little Jellie neighboring with Jerry

-"You know when you were watching Dream's POV and you were telling me not to do any of that? I was nodding, and I was like yeah I'm gonna do that." -Grian to Hbomb

"I'm gonna be honest, when you went into the blue vault, I thought you were dead." -Hbomb

#mcc #mcc 22 #goodtimeswithscar #grian #hbomb94 #falsesymmetry #WOOOOO #What a great MCC #all the updates were very very fun #the team chemistry was incredible #this was a great pov and hbomb got his hermitssss #birb's mcc recaps

[unabashednightmarepizza]

After reading every blurb, one shot etc. from @radiant-reid, I can't help but imagine Spencer and a bubbly and friendly s/o.

Like, maybe she and Hotchner knew each other from before, like they started off as partners in crime together( he probably surprise adopted her at ine point with Haley) and are best friends and one day he just comes like "We have new people coming. Come with me and greet them." like a very demanding father whose child is insisting to not talk to her. relatives when they visit.

But s/o is so glad she did because wow, all these gorgeous people will work with us?🤔🙃And I'm finally blessed with beauty, elegance in all forms? 🥰💞🤩

S/o just takes a hold of Aaron's shoulder dramatically, bending slightly which makes the others worry but he already knows what's coming.

"How did you find all these gorgeous people? Pretty... So pretty and handsome- oh look! She is wearing the pink tone I love and a parrot necklace!" *aggressively shows Penelope with heart eyes, makes the woman suddenly shy and bashful because she never got complimented*

"Stop flirting with people, Y/N."

"When I see someone pretty, I need to appreciate God's work, Aaron."

*Aaron being done with y/n but still watches with a soft smile as she hugs everyone and welcomes them warmly.*

*The team being surprised since they didn't expect it but soakes it all up since Y/N is being a cutie*

*Y/N almost crying, having a slight meltdown when she hugged JJ and Emily because "Wow, I'm hugging two pretty women... 😭"*

Y/N almost hugging Penelope so thight that she was about to combust because all she felt was warmth and softness

Derek hugging her and ruffling her hair because damn, she is like a sister to him already with her bubbly and kind self.

"I'm so glad there are other people Aaron can finally annoy apart from me! He and his wife is always nagging me-"

"It's because you don't eat, kid. And We don't 'nag' you."

"Says the man who almost made me run extra laps because I didn't eat what his wife-"

*Y/N seeing Reid who was looking around shyly, quite unsure but turning to her when he felt a stare on his face* Uhm... Hi... I'm Spencer Reid...

*Y/N looks at him with a dazed look, sweet smile and glistening eyes that Aaron knew too well* "Y/N, no..."

"Y/N, yes... I found my new bestie! Look at him! So cute! And finally someone close to my age!" *later hugging him thightly and him feeling both emotional and awkward because he never felt this and he is all like 🥺🥺*

*Everyone being confused because he is a lil nerd and you are loving every second of it, even more when Hotchner lets out a sigh* "There she goes, adopting a new one... Just watch her do her magic now. You will not let her get away ever again."

*the team being confused even more but laighs as you excitedly show their desks and insist Spencer sits next to you because unlike others, you think he is so cool since he knows so much and his little facts are always so interesting*

Spencer just flushing and blushing madly since you don't sound fake and are genuinely so kind and welcoming, accepting of him that the boi literally falls in love in less than an hour and being teased by others for it.

But then, all of them falls in love with you when you came in with heavy boxes and shopping bags a few weeks later. Obviously late for the meeting and they expected Hotch to be angry but... he was just smirking knowingly, watching as you bounced up and down excitedly and was about to steal their hearts.

"So, before any of you says how late I am, I'd like to say that I had to do my usual welcoming party but I wasn't expecting any of you that day so... Firstly, here is all of your favourite drinks, snacks and meals for later... And Derek, your choice is so picky that I had to drive to the other part of the city, which is the reason why I'm late!" *Everyone widens their eyes as they see the mouth-watering meals they love while you bring the bags inside and clear your throat*

"Okay, okay... Derek, you said you wanted go to that one boxing match but was unable to do so since all the tickets were sold. Coincidentally, I know someone that works there and I was able to get you one, oh! And here is your new holster for your gun!" *proceeds to give it to him with a tiny dragonfly for luck.*

"JJ, I saw that you love scrabble a lot and also wristlets too, so I made a little charm for you alongside with an one year worth coupon for a Chinese take-out restaurant at the corner since you always gush about how amazing they do it!"

"Emily, I seriously didn't know what to get you at first, because you seemed like you don't enjoy jewelries that much but then I saw you looking at charms and playing scrabbles all the time too so I also made one charm with your initials into a keychain for you to use and got you the Lord of The Rings triology you have been wanting to have!"

"Oh, oh Garcia! I heard you were complaining how all the women's clothing were so dull and not like your style at all, wanting to have your dream dress at one point in your life... And remember I asked you to draw it? Welp, here it is! There may be some mistakes since I hadn't honed my skills in sewing and my friend helped me but I hope you like it and remember me whenever you wear them! I also got you matching jewelries too, and they are all bright colors, just as you like it!"

*Tries to catch her breath after talking for 10 minutes straight without breathing*

*Hotchner looks up and down at them as the first wobble of their lips could be seen, smirks as Garcia and JJ are the first ones to jump on you with tears because damn, no one ever loved them too much to notice all these details about them yet alone buying and making them*

"Oh wow, look at the little profiler here~" *Derek ruffling your hair to hide his own emotional eyes as you giggle, parting from them* "I've been working for like 4 years now but yeah-"

"Hey, kid. Are you not gonna show what you got for Spencer too?" *Aaron points out as you flush, your eyes beaming happily while getting out towards your car as Spencer looks confused and a lil bit hurt*

"I don't think Agent Y/N got me anythi-"

"I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED HOTCH BECAUSE-" *slams a huge box on her desk while other let out an audible wow* "I LOVE ALL THE THINGS I GOT HIM! I might as well go to a shopping now..."

*mumbles cutely as Reid's heart starts to beat harder and faster since... the box is huge and is that double chocolate and honey muffins he smells?*

"Firstly, here is your favourite coffee with lots of sweets just as you like it! And what coffee is good without some muffins next to it! I made two of your favourites, at least I think so since you always eat them, and just a heads up... I ate one because damn, did I do them so good!" *pushes them to his desk as he looks down at them with teary eyes because you spent your time doing something for him and up at you as you go on talking*

" Also here is one of the books you once mentioned reading, I think the historical one! That one was so hard to get and I had to follow you into the library you always go but I got distracted with how amazing it was... OH OH, AND I MADE YOU SOME CARDIGANS TOO! I noticed how you like wearing them and made them in your favourite colors! There are bow ties too! I had to hug you a lot of times to understand your body measures tho, I hope it was okay..."

"Then you mentioned you love pens of all kinds and I also bought some of the best ones I found and a notebook too... And the last is the best one!" *jumping in excitement*

"Hey Aaron, remember our hunt back in the national museum? And how the owner was so glad that he gave us free entrance for a year? NOW IT'S SPENCER'S, ISN'T THAT AMAZING! I expect you to bring me too since Aaron here or his wife doesn't enjoy me drowning them with sacred knowledge about the Ancient civilizations."

"Someone has a favourite, I see~" -Derek Morgan who is smiling like an idiot

"Oh please, since I kinda claimed him as my new best friend I had to do so. Besides, you are all my new friends too! Do you know how long I watched you..."

*Spencer slowly taking all of the items one by one as he looks at them, the cardigans being soft and comfy, his favourite muffins are still steaming and the pens... the pens were amazing!*

*Spencer looking at you as you wait for his approval with a smile, tilted head at him cutely and he does something he never did before: hugged you.*

"Thank you, Agent Y/L/N... You didn't have to..."

"Nonsense! You are my friend now, and you will feel it! And please call me Y/N!*gasps dramatically while turning to look at Hotch while still hugging Spencer who had a lovesick smile* "Can he sit next to me? Pleeeease!"

"Okay, okay he can...But you are not gonna sabotage his work- Who am I kidding?" *exasperated dad sighs as you pull him towards his new desk right next to you, excitedly telling him something*

"I bet my ass they are gonna get together in less than two weeks..."

Baby-girl 1: So... Mom basically called dibs on dad?

Baby-girl 2: And he wore cardigans? I KNEW THAT LOVE CAME FROM HIM!

Baby-girl 3: I want to be like mom so much...

Baby-girl 1: You did almost the same with your boyfriend in highschool 🤔🤔

Baby-girl 3: Yeah, I know...

Baby-girl 4: *baby noises*

*all the girls giggling as they continue to look at the photo Auntie Penny took at the first day where their parents are already looking at each other with love*

P.S: God knows all of them need a soft moment and someone loving them unconditionally.

P.S: How cute it would be if they sticked together for 16 seasons tho-

P.S: Am I too invested? Yes. Am I gonna write this? Yes.

*slowly writes it down on the wip*

#criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid imagine #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan x you #derek morgan x y/n #emily prentiss x reader #jj x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #penelope garcia x reader

[heyidkyay]

Tag along |

Part two

You asked for a part two and so I delivered! Wasn't too sure where to lead with it at first so.. hopefully it's up to par and you actually enjoy it! Anyway, thank you for the love on part one!!:)

Summary: (From anon) Just wondering if you would ever consider writing a Matty fic where he falls in love with a fan in the audience of a show?

Warnings: food, brief mentions of anxiety

Part One

--

The concert drew to an end. As all things tended to do. And still, I found myself sort of floating.

It was strange, I just wanted to simply stand there whilst the rest of the crowd ebbed around me, slowly making their way out of the pit, back to reality.

Matty and the rest of the band had since departed, the stage now deserted after having blessed the crowd with an encore. That last song had been something else.

“What was that last one?” I heard myself ask out loud, blinking out of the hazy daze.

Rosie glanced back at me from over her shoulder, plaited hair falling down her back. “What’dya mean?”

Lewis squeezed my shoulders as he and his boyfriend passed us by, I smiled up at him and gave them each a hug goodbye, already having promised to talk again soon after having swapped numbers a little while earlier.

Rosie was still waiting for my reply once the couple had set off, working their way through the restless mass made up of forlorn fans. I actually could relate, which was something I didn’t think I’d be experiencing this time around.

She quirked a brow.

I took a second to sort through my many thoughts. It still felt as though my mind was whirling, sort of like coming down from a long-lived euphoric high.

“That song- the last one they sung. What was it?” I replied, and I could feel the slight crease in my forehead as I zeroed in on her.

Rosie’s face gave away her evident surprise to my sudden interest but she was quick to replace it with an enthusiastic grin. “The Sound. You liked it then?”

I found myself nodding at her lightly as I hummed my approval. I could actually still hear the song’s lyrics, playing on a loop in my head. Still hear his voice.

I snapped out of it though the second that I realised something was off. My head snapped to my left then to my right, eyes darting about. “Wait, where’s Tea?”

I watched my younger sister’s eyes widen as she quickly came to the same conclusion. Frowning, her gaze drifted all over the place in search. “Tea?” She called out, but only the strangers surrounding us glanced back.

“Tea?” I repeated, only this time a little louder. But still, no reply. 

Fuck. I dragged a hand through my hair, searching. Oh god, was I so fucked…

“Tea?” I called out again, panic rising in sudden waves throughout my chest. “Tea!”

Rosie was now a little way a way, shouting out her best mates name too, jumping to look for her over the heads of the slowly dispersing crowd. “T-ea?” I heard her drag out, my heart clenched she looked as distressed as I felt.

I turned towards the nearest group and tried to swallow down some of my hysteria. If I’d lost her… shit, I dreaded to even think of what would occur.

“Have any of you seen a girl?” I asked them, eyes still scanning the masses. 

I huffed slightly, realising that that probably hadn’t been the best question to ask. There must’ve been over a couple thousand girls in this very arena. I swallowed again thickly, my anxiety was palpable.

“I mean- she’s about a head shorter than me. Brown hair. Blue top.” I attempted to describe, using a hand to taper off her height against me, but they all just shook their heads in return. “Right, okay.” I sighed in defeat, already moving onto the next as I briefly thanked them.

But there were only more shaking heads.

More, “No, sorry”’s.

I wanted to scream. How had things flipped this quickly?

I took a moment to simply inhale, knowing it wouldn’t do anyone any good if I was an inch away from a meltdown. Tea was a big girl, she could take care of herself. In fact, she’d probably just gotten swept up in all the excitement and was already waiting near the exit for us. 

“Y/n! Y/n!”

My head spun in every which direction, trying to place my sister’s voice in the sea of people.

No, no. 

No, ah no, no- 

There!

And there Tea was too, stood right beside her!

I thanked every star in the nights sky as I darted my way over to them, blood rushing in my ears now that the bubble of panic had finally burst. I gripped them in a tight hug the second I could, my relief evident. 

“I swear to every God- I am this close to having an actual aneurysm!” I all but panted to the two teenage girls, and as I held up a hand to demonstrate just how close I’d actually been I could see that my hands were shaking. I willed myself to take a couple deep breaths, calming the slightest. “Don’t do that again. Please? I can not afford to die at the hands of either of your mothers. I want an open casket at my funeral and something tells me they wouldn’t leave me a pretty sight if I lost either one of you.”

Tea gave me an impish smile, looking truly apologetic as she gave me a sorry, whilst Rosie merely snorted at my dramatics, clearly over the whole catastrophe now.

“Oi, you three.”

I jumped out of my fucking skin at the sound of the sudden deep voice which had come from right behind us. Still riding out the adrenaline and anxiety(!!) I’d just been drowning in, I leapt around, eyes wide, only to come face to face with some big burly bloke. I lifted my head to meet his eyes.

“Christ! I just about pissed myself!” I breathed out, placing a hand over my erratic heart and noting how he gave the three of us the once over. My brow pinched. “Look mate, can we actually help you?”

“You the girl from earlier?” Was all he replied, his face as blank as canvas whilst he jutted his chin out towards me.

“Um…” My mouth opened and shut in confusion, severely caught off guard. He was like a stone wall of a man, it was hard to even fathom him being an actual human too and not just some robot or emotionless machine. Thankfully Rosie was there to save the day. As per usual, at this rate.

“She is. Why, who’s askin’?”

I glanced over towards my sister and bit back a small chuckle at the suspicious expression she now wore. Completely uncaring for the fact that this guy was three times her size.

He stared her down. She stared right back. 

I ground my teeth together then, frowning as I crossed my arms over my chest to join my younger sister in this weird face off.

“Sorry, have we done something wrong?” Came Tea’s polite little voice, and the bloke and I both turned slightly towards her, whilst Rosie continued scowling, undeterred.

“No,” The man said, moving an arm up to gesture out over towards a point a little further away. It was that motion that allowed me to catch the laminated tag on the sleeve of his black polo. Security. Oh. “Someone backstage asked after the girl from the show’s end. The one who spoke with the lead singer.”

My head reeled back at this information. “What’s that meant to mean?”

But both Tea and Rosie were already squealing quietly to one another behind me, talking in that squeaky high pitch tone of theirs. My brow furrowed further as I averted my attention, not even questioning my sister’s sudden change in mood. It wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to at this point, lets be honest.

I had to withhold a massive sigh.

The security guy gave no reaction to the girls- probably used to it by now too, having had to deal with thousands of them at each show, I could only suppose.

He glanced towards me, “I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to catch sight of you to be honest, but you’re pretty hard to miss.”

I felt the flush as it crawled its way up my neck, recalling the state I’d just been in. I must’ve looked a right twat, screaming and shouting about for Tea. Of all the names in the world, hey?

But I fought my way through the mortification, smiling up at the bloke as though it was a regular occurrence.

“Oh yeah? Well, I’m glad something came out of it then.”

The man’s demeanour cracked the slightest bit. I saw it in the tiniest curl of his upper lip, a barely there smirk. I grinned victoriously.

He then hummed, “So, if you’d like to follow me backstage?”

My grin fell as quickly as it had came. But the girls’s squeals only grew louder.

“Backstage.” I reiterated slowly, blinking up at him owlishly.

The bloke nodded just once. “Backstage.”

“Like now?”

“Now.” He replied, that emotionless mask making him hard to argue with.

“Right…”

Rosie shook my shoulders, practically bouncing in her stance. “We’re gonna meet the band! Oh my fucking God, Y/n, we’re actually gonna meet them!”

I looked over at her, alarm swimming in my eyes as I tried to match her enthusiasm. “Seems so.”

—

I was a jittery mess.

Who the fuck knew just how many corridors and hallways there were hiding around back here… I don’t think anyone could even begin to comprehend just how much work seemed to be happening either. Mics, cameras, crew: backstage was a proper hectic mess. 

God, Backstage.

Because shit! We were actually behind the stage! As in, on our way to meet the cocky headed twat of a singer who had spotted my ugly mug in an arena full of them.

How? Why?

What was I even supposed to do- to say- to people like them?

It seemed like Rosie and Tea were just as bad though, if not more so. I’d never seen Tea so pale, and my sister… well, she had yet to utter a single word since we’d been given these badge-things. I flicked at it aimlessly. I didn’t think I’d ever seen her so quiet. The two friends were practically clinging to each other now, all moon-eyed as they surveyed their surroundings.

I had to swallow past the lump in my throat, as well as the oncoming nerves, and instead decided to try and attempt to converse with the woman the security bloke had passed us over to. If only to distract me.

“Sorry, can I ask, what’s it that you do here?”

I hadn’t known what else to ask, if I was being honest. Work seemed like the easiest topic, other than the weather, as well as having been the first thing that had come to mind.

She didn’t seem to mind it though, smiling politely over at me as she directed us down another hallway and past some sound technicians.

“You’re fine, lovie. I’m just an assistant of sorts really, help out where I can. Mainly in it for the music and the money though.” She said with this gorgeous sort of laugh that had me settling slightly.

“So you must get to meet all sorts of people then.” I prompted and it helped us fall easily into a real conversation, her describing some of the faces she’d encountered throughout the years she’d worked at the arena, as well as reliving a couple of wild tales about what typically went on behind the scenes.

She had me in actual stitches over this one Coldplay story that had occurred a few years prior- apparently Guy couldn’t hold his drink as well as he claimed he could, which had led to the fire-brigade being phoned and a head having had to be extracted from a toilet bowl.

So by the time we’d come to a stop, I’d almost completely forgotten the reason as to where we’d been headed to in the first place.

“Shoot me.”

I peered over my shoulder at Rosie with a confused frown, wondering what had caused the painful croaking sound she’d just made. But then, well…

“Shoot you, now why would we do that?”

My eyes closed instinctively at the sound and I was thankful that I still had my back  towards the doorway of the room we’d since paused by, because I was already able to recognise that voice of his. Which in itself was baffling beyond belief. But also, I didn’t think I’d ever be prepared to look at him again. Not this soon at least. 

Rosie squeaked at having just been spoken to by her idol and I really couldn’t help the snort which escaped my mouth. Because if there was one reason for older siblings to exist then it was merely to laugh at their younger ones expense.

“Ah, come on, darling! Don’t laugh at her, she’s just starstruck, ain’t you? Not everyday you get to see a face as fit as mine.”

“Or meet someone who talks completely out of their arse.”

That was the voice I did eventually turn back around for, wanting to place the person who had Matty huffing in a strop.

“Oh fuck off would you, George?”

George? George…

Oh! Immediately my eyes found Tea and the poor girl’s mouth was hung wide open, tongue practically licking the carpeted floors as she stared at the band’s shorthaired drummer. If Rosie wasn’t in the same position right now I’d bet my life on the knowing that she’d lord this over her best friend for the rest of time. 

“Oh no, please do continue! I’d honestly love to hear more.”

Every face in that room darted towards me then and I had to hold strong, fighting to keep the small smirk that had taken hold instead of cowering under their sudden stares. Fuck, this whole groupie thing was well hard. Internally, I cackled to myself. I couldn’t even begin to imagine. 

“I like her.” The drummer announced with a small shrug of his shoulder, pointing over at me with a cardboard box full of- was that chow-mein?

“Ooh, any more of that going ‘round?” I asked him, my stomach gurgling at the very smell. “I’m fucking starved- drink always has a funny way of turning me into a ravenous teenage boy.”

“Yeah, I like her too.” Another announced, and I titled my head over towards the long haired man who was lounging on a bright orange settee. “And you lot can just go ahead and help yourself, always get enough to feed a tiny nation.”

I grinned, thanking him as I swanned past Matty, who stood almost bewildered, to gravitate towards a large table full of takeout.

“This what us common folk have been missing out on then, hey? Who would’ve guessed that rockstars had a thing for Chinese food rather than just sex and alcohol.”

“Um, young ears?” Someone else chimed in.

My head lifted and landed on a tall figure who was now leaning in another doorway, one which led elsewhere I presumed. I seemed to remember myself then, but waved the blond’s weary caution off. “Oh yeah, they’re all good. Probably said much worse in truth.”

A light laugh came from beside me and I smiled over to my right, already knowing just who it would be. “Alright there, Curly?”

“Me? I’m great. Figure you are too, making yourself right at home there.” Matty retorted, grinning wickedly as he watched me steal a few dumplings.

I shrugged, wiggling my brows as I bit into one. “Have to, I’d be shitting myself otherwise. Intimidating lot you are.”

The long haired bloke just snorted loudly whilst George gently beckoned Rosie and Tea further into the room, nodding his goodbyes to the woman who’d led us over. I shouted out mine too just before she could disappear behind the frame and received an amused smile in turn. I frowned slightly, wishing I’d had the foresight to grab her name beforehand, she’d really been great.

“Alright, I’ve got to know your name.” Orange settee resident all but demanded, holding his fork up at me. Seemed we shared a brain.

I smiled, moving across the floor to join him. 

“Give you mine, if you give me yours.” I quipped, having nestled myself into the sofas other end, tucking a foot up under me.

He cocked an eyebrow, mouth pulling up at both sides.

“Wait, you two were actually serious when you said she’d never heard of us?” George quizzed the girls with a gleeful sort of laugh, vastly different to that of his husky low voice. 

It was then that Rosie decided to shake herself out of the dreamlike daze she’d been living in, visibly taking a deep breath before she answered him. 

“Um, yeah,” Another breath, then she plastered on a smile and carefully took perch on a nearby ottoman, Tea sliding in quietly beside her, eyes still honed in on a certain drummer. “Yeah, we all but dragged her here- mum wanted us safe and what not, but we didn’t want her spoiling our fun. So…”

“So big sisters do come in handy. Or at least I’m assuming.” Bearded bloke concluded and I withheld a long sigh whilst the girls nodded at him.

“Alright, seeing as we’ve established the fact that I’m in desperate need of a debrief. Can I get all of your names now? ‘Cause I can’t keep calling you bearded orange bloke, and you tall one in the doorway.”

“Bearded orange bloke?” Settee man with the fork parroted under his breath, obviously not too big a fan of the nickname. Matty was laughing away though as he threw himself between us the two of us, kicking his feet up on the coffee table after having gifted the girls a couple cans of coke. I tired to hide my endeared smile by inhaling another dumpling.

“That the best you could come up with, really? What name did you have for our G then?” Matty questioned me, and I had to pull all my focus on answering him instead of how our arms were now touching ever so slightly or the way his brown eyes were hyper-focused on me.

I hummed around a mouthful of food whilst nodding. “Don’t make fun, and I already knew George’s.”

“Wait, hang on. You can fuck right off. How’d you know his name and not any of ours?” Matty exclaimed, wrinkling the skin between his brows, seeming properly offended by the mere idea.

George looked far too pleased with himself though as he continued to tuck into his food and I glanced up just in time to catch my sister’s look of warning, but paid her no mind. 

“The pit is a place of the people.” Is what I decided on, rather than opting to further embarrass the two teens. My gaze landed on the drummer as I spoke and I gave him a wry little smile before I continued on, “There were lots of lovely looking girls out there screaming your name.”

“Ah, what can I say?” George gave us all a put-upon sigh, but he was smirking. “Although can I just say, it’s a right shame you didn’t happen to join them.”

“Who’s saying I didn’t?” I quipped right back. But my teasing was cut short when Matty piped up, apparently feeling a tad left out now.

“Come off it. Did you see how flustered she got when I nabbed her attention?” He challenged his bandmate with a delighted grin, leaning further into my side as he did. His dark playful eyes flicked up at me, mirthful and alive, they really had a way of pulling you in.

“Uh, maybe because you singled me out in a crowd of around ten thousand people?”

“Twenty actually.” The smartarse responded, and I tried not to outwardly react when his hand came to rest on my knee. “Full house tonight.” He squeezed lightly. 

The rest of the band whooped loudly and it was sweet to see them so sincerely proud of themselves.

“Twenty thousand?” Rosie parroted, looking baffled by the sheer thought.

“Mad, ain’t it?” Matty grinned at her and I smiled behind a loose lock of hair when she blushed, having caught his full attention. I felt her pain. It was a lot, being trapped under his intense stare.

“Insane.” She breathed, and thankfully Tea was the one to save her.

“Does it ever get overwhelming?” The girl appeared a little startled by her own question when everyone turned to look towards her, and she found herself spiralling to clarify, eyes shifting back and forth between us all. “You know, being up there. In front of that many people.”

I let myself relax further into the settee whilst the boys begun to converse with the girls, telling them funny tales and answering their many, many questions. And the girls seem to follow soon after, gaining the courage to poke fun and simply enjoy themselves in the presence of their favourite people. 

When we first got asked to head backstage, this was far from the image I’d pictured. 

But still, I wouldn’t have changed it for anything in the world. Especially when Matty’s grip seemed to tighten on my knee almost subconsciously whenever he chattered away, gesturing this way and that, but his hand never moving.

#the 1975 #matty healy #matty #healy #x you #x reader #matty healy x you #matty healy x reader #imagine #matty healy imagine #matty 1975 #1975 #reader #you #y/n #the 1975 imagines #the 1975 band #Adam hann #george daniel #ross macdonald #fluff #humour #flirting #backstage #concerts #gigs #1975 concert #writer #cuteness #meet cute

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

reading your tags and realizing the angst potential of the childhood friends AU :3c (I love angst with fluff/good endings sm, cannot handle ones with none at all :,D)

like. imagine being his best friend when you two were young, knowing he's changed ever since you lost him for a few days, but you were there for him, hoping things will be okay. then you meet up with him, and things looked very promising! you knew him too well and he's almost the same Ajax you knew and adored! possibly pining for each other too hehe

that was until you caught him murdering someone you likely knew (but you weren't close or anything, you just know them from work maybe?) and seeing the look in his eyes, realized this isn't his first, second, or third time doing this. you knew the light in his eyes was gone when you found him again, you knew he was different, he was resorting to violence and you did expect him to still be like that, honestly. but not like this. the betrayal hits you hard, but you still gave him a chance. albeit it, at the cost of how betrayed and a bit emotionless towards him. it was different but you tried to warm up, even if this was the outcome.

imagine meeting Legacy for the first time though… he's having a meltdown, you probably heard or seen him once or twice, but not a lot. (probably in your childhood though eheh~) you'd approach him cautiously, trying to hush him down a bit. Legacy better kneels down because you'll gently hold his face, rest your forehead against his and murmur some soft words that you used to tell Ajax when he was upset as a kid. even if you're betrayed, it wasn't fair for you to feel like that towards Legacy, knowing they're somewhat different? you're not leaving his side even if he calms down, gently telling Legacy to please be okay and know that you're not mad at him.

possibly even saying that even if you're betrayed, you don't hate Ajax, because surely he's there listening, right? you're just upset that things turned out to be like this, but you can't hate him even if you honestly wanted to. you feel like you should, but you can't. he's your first, and only friend you have, and is someone you deeply cherished.

right now, you want him to know that it's okay, things will work out slowly. well, you want Legacy to know that the most.

(may or may not be a re-occurring anon dropping some minor scenarios i'm too shy and i don't wanna flood your inbox with some ramblings ah- I love your FL content so much thank you for blessing us with this <3 <3)

aaaa you and me both, anon!!!! angst with happy endings is my bread and butter, since i love writing feelings but i want everyone to end up happy :D

oh but just imagine Foul Legacy inside Ajax's mind, watching you witness your best friend kill someone, watching you step back in horror- he whines so desperately, clawing at the boundary between Ajax's body and his to tell you not to be afraid, to hold you close and show how much they both truly care for you because he, the Abyssal half of your friend, loves you too

but he's too weak, and is stuck watching you grow closed off and wary of Ajax- it's so hard to give him a second chance when you're having doubts that he ever cared for you at all

so when you finally come face-to-face with Foul Legacy, he thinks you're going to despise him- after all, he represents everything that changed and warped Ajax into how he is today, so why wouldn't you hate him? but instead you approach slowly, whispering and hushing him to calm his frazzled nerves until he can at least tell the world apart, leaning into your touch as an anchor to reality so you can wipe away his tears. you can tell immediately, whether by the soft whines that slip from his fanged mouth or the way his claws wrap around your hands, that Foul Legacy is not Ajax- or at least, not entirely. so you settle yourself beside him, linking your hands around your knees and striking up a conversation about anything and everything to help him calm down. eventually you hear his breathing even out, occasionally rumbling or humming in response to something you said, and suddenly a weight settles on your shoulder as he unabashedly snuggles his face into your neck

it's been so long since you've been this close to him or Ajax, and when you pet his hair Foul Legacy shivers and purrs

he listens to you talk about the recent years and your conflicted feelings, the way you know you should hate Ajax but just can't, how you're so lonely all the time because you really can't bring yourself to believe that Ajax even considers you a friend anymore, and Foul Legacy whimpers at the way your voice hitches as you hold back tears

but then you smile, just barely, and scritch behind his horns, saying that there's no way you could ever hate him- none of this is his fault after all, and Foul Legacy's been nothing but sweet to you. you're not sure when he'll have to disappear and Ajax will return, but at least you can stave off the loneliness and savor his presence while it lasts, curling up in his arms and listening to his deep, rumbling purrs of relief

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #chit chat #anon #this gave me SO MUCH FOOD FOR THOUGHT especially in the loneliness category #Foul Legacy is already horribly lonely since he's usually confined to Childe's mind #and he's extremely scared you eventually just won't show up since you're so wary of Ajax now #and you really don't have many friends and are beginning to think that Ajax doesn't care about you at all #and it hurts so much but you have to be strong because no one else can be strong for you #am i self projecting? maybe a little bit shhhh i have experience with this #also anon!!!! do not be scared to ramble as much as you'd like!!!! :D #we're all mothlovers here!!!! #short scenario #other's stuff #FAVE #good evening :)

[patrickswhore]

Father Paul Hill X Male Reader

A/N: hey guys, this is my version with no vamps, no Mildred, just homoerotic love 💕 this wont follow any main plots in the series and is purely from the dark hole in my brain

The bell swung from side to side as the two men on either side of the sitting area kept catching each other’s glances. Small quick glances which had both their minds turning.

Paul, a man of god honesty straightened his back and cleared his throat before reaching out his hand to the other man.

“Hallo, I’m father Paul Hill, the new priest of the island”

The other man politely shook the fathers hand with a bright smile.

“I’m (Y/N), a newcomer”

“Well that’s amazing, (Y/N). What brings you here?”

“ just wanted to get away from the big city, I guess”

“WE’LL BE ARRIVING AT LAND SHORTLY, PLEASE ALL ABORED MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE FRONT OF THE BOAT”

“Well” he smacked his thighs and stood up, smiling down at the other man.

“I’ll be looking forward to getting to know you more on the island, (Y/N). See you around, god bless”

The Monsignor swallowed the lump that had build up in his throat as he walked out of the small sitting room, a wave of guilt washing over him as he shook his head clean of bad thoughts.

A few days had passed and Paul was getting settled into his new priest hut. He was looking out the window, admiring the sunset and thinking of what he was gonna make for dinner when his eyes fell upon a figure in the darkness walking towards his front door. He stiffened, praying silently that it wasn’t Bev coming to harass him yet again.

A soft knock was heard, he knew instantly it wasn’t Bev as the bitch would’ve just stormed in like she owned the place. He slicked back his hair, opening the door. His heart skipped a beat as the nice man from the belle was standing right outside.

“(Y/N), good evening. What can I do for you?”

“Good evening, Monsignor. I know this is a late notice but, I was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner at my house tonight?”

Paul’s mind razed a million miles a second, finally coming up with a single word.

“Yes”

“Amazing! How about in..” he looked down at his wrist watch. “7 o’clock? So in an hour”

“Sure! I’ll be there! Which one is your house?”

“The yellow one on Main Street, nr 3”

“Great, see you in an hour”

“See you there, father”

(Y/N) smiled and slowly walked away, his hips slightly swaying as walked, a feature Paul was very observant of. He shook his head and closed the door, leaning his forehead against it before turning around and sliding his back down to the floor.

‘This is wrong’ he thought, slowly feeling himself being swallowed by catholic guilt. He stood up, slicking his hair back yet again, he calmed himself with the thought of this just being a dude-bro dinner party. He breathed heavily before realising the little time he had to get ready. He scrambled out of his pjs, rushing to the bathroom where he practically jumped into the shower, rinsing every surface and washing his beautiful locks. He also found the time to have a little catholic meltdown before drying himself off, he brushed his teeth vigorously, slicking his hair back with copious amounts of hair gel. He got in his finest attire (basically what he always wore, his priest shirt and a pair of dark jeans) as he dashed out the door with a bottle of alter wine under his arm.

The night went swimmingly, the two men enjoyed (Y/N)’s nice cooking, they had long talks about god knows what and Paul didn’t feel the urge to bring up some weird facts (this is a pure head canon but I feel like he would get really passionate about something and just spurt random facts about the subject for a month)

At the end of the evening, Paul thanked for the meal and they agreed to do it again some other time where Paul would be the chef. They said their good nights and Paul started to walk back to his hut, ready for a hard night of not succumbing to the fleshy desire that was so aching between his legs.

The dinners had come and gone and this had become a weekly thing, switching from house to house. The pair had become quite close, much to Bev’s dismay.

“So Paul, I have a question and please tell me if I’m overstepping a boundary. Are you celibate?” (Y/N) picked at the food on his plate which he himself had prepared.

“Oh don’t worry, we’ve become good friends so I don’t feel uncomfortable answering your more personal questions. Yes, I am supposed to remain celibate, so no sex, no masturbation”

“I’m sorry Paul but that sounds boring as all hell” he laughed, Paul could only flash a smile, agreeing hole heartedly, it was boring as all hell.

“What about homosexuality?”

This question made a spark run through Paul’s body, his hand grabbed the fork tighter as he tried to formulate an answer.

“Well generally, in the bible homosexuality is seen as a sin… but me personally I… I don’t”

“Good”

“Are you a homosexual, (Y/N)?”

“Yes, are you, Paul?”

The priest fell silent as he looked into his plate.

“Honestly, I have no clue”

“Silly me.. how would you know, you’ve never been touched like that by any gender” (Y/N) rested his chin on his hand as he looked at Paul.

“Would you like to find out, Paul?”

The priest looked to the side, finally thinking fuck it and nodding his head, avoiding eye contact as he heard the chair being pulled away and (Y/N) standing up, walking over to him.

He slowly turned Paul’s head as he gave him a kiss, holding his cheeks for a second before letting go and breaking the kiss.

“So?”

“I don’t know what to say”

“Well you didn’t push me away so, ready for faze two?”

Once again not a word left Paul’s mouth as he just nodded. (Y/N) pulled the mans chair out a bit, startling him a bit.

“Please, if any of this makes you uncomfortable, tell me to fuck off”

He nodded slowly, as (Y/N) swung one leg over his and sat down on his lap, his hands locking behind Paul’s neck. Lightly toying with his hair.

“Uncomfortable?”

He shook his head.

(Y/N) removes his hands from the mans neck, taking Paul’s hands and placing one on each of his ass cheeks.

“Now?”

“No”

“Great! Now try squeezing”

“(Y/N) don’t toy with my emotions like this if you don’t feel the same”

Paul was still avoiding eye contact as he felt a finger under his chin, forcing him to make eye contact with the glaring reality.

“Paul I do feel the same”

The priest lifted his hands off the mans ass and wrapped them instead around his waist, pulling him close so their chests touched. (Y/N) pulled him into a kiss, intertwining his fingers in Paul’s hair as they made out.

The thoughts of sin was drowned by the feeling of true joy.

#gay fanfic #gay fanfiction #male reader #x male reader #midnight mass #father paul hill #father paul #father Paul x male reader #father Paul hill x male reader #father pruitt #father Pruitt x male reader #father paul x reader #father paul hill x reader #father Pruitt x reader #midnight mass x reader #midnight mass x male reader

[getosubaru]

It’s such a long walk when you got somewhere to be; I just thought maybe you were gonna walk with me (chapter three)

a/n: don't be fooled by how quickly these are coming out; i usually take 5-7 business years to post.

story summary: MC decides all of the student council is going to therapy and hell hath no fury like a prepared human. They’ve got highlighters and they’re not afraid to use them.

chapter summary: There is so much more to Asmo than what he shows the world.

pairing: lucifer/reader

warnings: angst & trauma; small text only for description; gn!reader; possible spoilers since author can’t remember when shit happened in canon; not proofread/betaread; author is a psychology grad student which is its own warning; descriptions of violence/wounds; cursing

rating: m; changing it now as we get more into the nitty gritty of their experiences

chapter wc: 2.7k

title taken from “therapy” by dresage & g smith

previous | series masterlist

Asmo sits next to you in Comparative Lit—eschewing his normal perch in the back of the lecture hall with his flock of admirers. It takes a single frown from him for them to leave you both alone. 

“The control you have over your entourage is scary sometimes,” you remark when the last of his little puppies crawls away with their tail between their legs. 

He shrugs, unconcerned with the crying coming from the back of the room. “For lust demons, they can be too greedy.” 

You barely resist commenting about pots and kettles. It’s not often you get alone time with Asmo, after all, and irritating or upsetting him would send him flying back to his admirers. As you watch him meticulously reapply lip liner, you realize you don’t actually get much alone time with him. 

One of his brothers (if not more) usually clings to you when you’re home. If you two go out, you’re bound to pick up a few of his fans trailing behind you. 

“Asmo, how the hell do you put up with all the constant…people?”

He blesses you with one of his songlike laughs, tucking his mirror and makeup bag away. “What do you mean?” 

You open your mouth to respond, but the professor bursts into the room in his usual display of rumpled feathers and scattered papers.

“All of you better have read Oscar Wilde’s postmortem essay on cultural differences,” he booms out. 

Asmo nudges you with one sharp elbow. “Now, could I tell you stories about that man.” 

You blink. The one time you had a Dorian Grey phase comes rushing back to you. The titular character’s face superimposes over Asmo’s in your mind. It explains a lot, really. 

Whatever the professor has to say about Oscar Wilde goes in one ear and out the other for you, as Asmo keeps up a litany of anecdotes from his time with the author—both before and after his death. Hopefully, Satan (sitting dutifully in the front row) takes better notes than you manage. Your beleaguered professor doesn’t even bat an eye at Asmo’s slacking off; he learned to stop trying after the second class.

Asmo slips one soft hand into yours when the lecture ends, pulling you to your feet. “Come have lunch with me,” he coos. 

It’s a demand, not an invitation. 

“I’m supposed to meet up with Beel to review for Politics,” you say, gently extracting your hand so you can pack up your things. “We have a test next week—“

“Come on!” He pouts. A flurry of action in the back of the room starts up. If he tantrums, the entire school might go into a meltdown. 

“Asmodeus,” you try to scold him. 

His charm doesn’t work on you but that doesn’t mean he stops trying. With big, tearful eyes and a trembling bottom lip, Asmo is the picture of a lost kitten. All that’s missing is Sarah McLachlan crooning in the background. 

You sigh in defeat. “Just you. No one else.” 

Asmo squeals, gathering you up in his arms and spinning you both around. “Yay!” 

Beel will understand. Probably. If he didn’t actually forget himself. You text him anyway as Asmo drags you out of the room.

It’s not so much lunch as it is snacking and laying on the grass. He takes a few selfies, yanking you into the frame for some of them. You consider it an acceptable trade-off for actual alone time with him. 

“You never answered me,” you say once he puts his D.D.D. away. He tilts his head. “Earlier, about how you deal with so many people around all the time.”

“Oh!” He rolls onto his stomach and props his chin on his hands. Picturesque as usual, though you wonder how much practice went into such an effortless move. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

You bop him gently on the tip of his nose, just to watch it scrunch up. “You’re constantly surrounded by your brothers or your fans or your friend groups…” 

“It’s not a big deal to me. I just like having people around, I suppose,” he says lightly, pouting when you tap him again. 

“Asmo.”

He shrugs his lithe shoulders. “Seriously.”

You drop the subject when you notice the tension in his mouth. Anything that could potentially wrinkle his immortal perfection is usually a no-no, so seeing him frown like that is a warning sign. Instead, you opt to tousle his hair and lay back next to him. 

It’s quiet for a bit—as quiet as RAD can be at lunchtime. Various birds of prey call out in the trees, while students chatter as they walk to classes. Asmo hums under his breath, some melody you can’t quite make out. It’s dreadfully peaceful, and you worry you’re going to fall asleep and miss the rest of your classes. 

“MC?” asks Asmo, startling you out of your reverie. 

“Hmm?”

The demon beside you shifts on the grass, flipping over onto his back to look at the sky. “You went with Levi yesterday, right?”

His usual singsong tone is absent. There’s a gravity to his presence you don’t normally see. 

“Yeah. Rissa, the therapist, said it seemed to help. She asked me to come back with anyone who wanted company.”

When you turn your head to look at him, Asmo’s worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“Careful,” you scold, pinching his glossed lip and tugging it out of his mouth. “You’ll end up tearing it.”

He nips at your fingers. “We’re out of crackers. What else am I supposed to bite?” 

“Calm down, Beel.”

“No!” gasps Asmo, clutching his hands to his chest. “How could you?!” 

His dramatics have the intended effect—both of you giggling and poking each other in outrage. He’s good at this kind of thing. It’s hard to be in a bad mood when you’re around Asmo, even if he’s the one who originally pissed you off. Even when he’s flirting, it’s usually taken to such a level that you can’t help but laugh. 

When you both calm down, that pensive expression is back. 

“Come with me?” 

It’s an invitation, not a demand. He’s not looking at you when he asks. All of his playful, cooing persona is missing. 

You twist in the grass to press a kiss on his cheek. “Of course.” 

Rissa brightens when you come in the door behind Asmo. The juice she warned you of yesterday is missing from the tray, showing her hope would be here today. Her introductory speech is much the same as the one she gave Levi, though she seems far more familiar with Asmo. 

“She’s a succubus, darling,” croons Asmo when you ask. 

Fair enough.

Rissa directs the conversation to the fall. Asmo’s version differs from Levi’s.

“I stayed with Mammon, mostly,” he begins, voice a bit distant and slow. “Though I know at one point I was with the twins and Lilith. Lucifer…” He shakes his head. “Lucifer was dealing with Michael for most of the battle.”

You tap his knee lightly. “You were with him at one point, though.”

Neither of them asks how you know that, much to your relief. 

“Wait, no you’re right. Lucifer got caught by some of Uriel’s arrows and I had to get them out,” says Asmo, rapidly blinking. His hands tremble where they’re folded in his lap. “It was nasty work, but we didn’t have a proper field medic. You’re not supposed to just yank arrows out.” 

He shudders. The motion isn’t delicate or graceful like you expect from him. His usually luminous face is nearly green. You hold one of his hands between both of yours to keep him from picking at his cuticles. 

“That sounds like it was hard,” says Rissa. Her easy smile is replaced with patient neutrality. 

“Afterwards, well…” He shrugs. “Mammon and I had Satan to deal with, so most of the following decades were taken up with that.” 

Rissa narrows her dark eyes, making a note you presume is about the avoidance of Lilith. “And how did that go?”

“Oh, he was a nightmare of a child! The tantrums alone were enough to drive anyone insane!” He’s back to laughing, though it doesn’t quite ring as genuine. 

“He seems to have turned into a fine demon regardless.” 

Asmo smiles—a true smile, soft and mindless. “He’s okay. Not as good as me, obviously, but he’s probably my favorite.” 

Rissa uncaps her second soda of the meeting. You wonder idly if demons just don’t get cavities or if you should be worried about her. “Parenting after a traumatic experience isn’t easy,” she comments. 

Asmo flinches. 

“And you were quite young for an angel, correct?” 

He nods jerkily, though Rissa’s looking down at her tablet. She crosses something out and scribbles over it. 

“We aren’t supposed to meet again until next week, but I want to talk with you and Mammon more,” she says eventually. “He wasn’t much older than you if I remember correctly.”

“Not by much.” His voice is smaller than you’ve ever heard it.

Rissa looks up at him with a kind smile. “It’s okay, Asmo. I just want to talk a few things out with you two. Nothing major, but I hadn’t realized how much of the parenting of Satan fell on you both.” 

“It was a long time ago,” replies Asmo, waving his hand dismissively. 

“That doesn’t erase that it happened.” 

He frowns in response. The expression looks unnatural on someone you’re so used to seeing with a smile. This is where you’re meant to step in, you realize, though you’re at a loss for how. It’s easy to forget just how ancient all of them are in comparison to you. Their histories stretch back centuries. Even Satan, the youngest of the bunch, has lived more days than you can comprehend. 

You drop your head on Asmo’s shoulder, leaning all of your body weight into him. The pressure seems to bring him back to reality a bit. He kisses your forehead and squeezes your hand. 

“So, joint meeting with Mammon later this week?” he asks Rissa. “Sounds like a party.” 

She doesn’t keep you after the meeting ends, letting you get tugged along behind Asmo as he dances out the door. His “other people” persona is back in place.

“I know there are classes tomorrow, but my friend is having her album release party at The Fall tonight!” he informs you, tapping away at Devilgram with his free hand. “You have to come!” 

You shake your head. “If I cancel on Beel twice in a row, he may actually lose his mind. We really need to study.”

Asmo pouts but drops it for the rest of your walk home. He abandons you in favor of his closet, calling out to Satan for help in picking out something to wear. Not the person you would’ve chosen for wardrobe assistance, but both of them seem happy enough when they disappear into Asmo’s room. 

Beel’s already waiting for you at your desk, books and notes spread out on the table. A small hamper brimming with snacks occupies the chair next to him. 

“Satan leant me the study guide he made last year, so this should be pretty easy,” he says cheerfully, gesturing at a paper filled with Satan’s cramped handwriting. 

“Oh, thank—“ You smack your hand over your mouth at the last minute. It’s been months since you’ve had a slip up like that. “Sorry—“

Beel’s head is in his arms as he shakes with laughter. The sound is muffled by his jacket, but not by much. You end up giggling in spite of your own mortification just from how red his face turns. 

“You really—thank—Satan!” he howls between laughing fits. 

Something groans from the pile of blankets on your bed. A messy head of dark hair pops out, though the creature’s face is still hidden in fabric. 

“Beel, some of us are trying to sleep,” whines Belphie. 

The monster in your bed huffs when his twin just laughs louder and burrows back under the covers. 

You both manage to decipher Satan’s handwriting without much work. Some scrawled notes in the margins let you know what was actually on the test and what was not. You resolve never to tease the fourth-born for his nerdish qualities ever again. 

The twins finally branch off from you at dinner. The chair at the head of the table sits empty, though no one’s bothered setting a place anymore. Mammon just shrugs when you ask if he’s seen his oldest brother recently. 

“Said he’s got a lot of work to do. Dunno if it’s true or not. Just know he’s not breathin’ down my neck for once.” 

You’re worried. Worried, worried, worried. Lucifer could lecture Mammon in his sleep. He doesn’t even need to look up from his desk to identify what the greed demon’s done wrong. His disappearance feels less like an absence and more like a hole torn straight through the house. Knocking at his study door proves fruitless, as does trying his bedroom door. He has to be home. It’s nearing midnight and he gets up earlier than everyone else. 

You find yourself at the stairs leading to the basement, though you don’t dare venture any further. He wasn’t in the attic, nor in the library. You’ve looked for him everywhere that isn’t someone else’s bedroom. 

“Lucifer?” you call out into the dark. 

Something large huffs a breath and rumbles. Cerberus, you expect. The very reason you don’t leave the threshold. 

“Lucifer?” you try again, louder this time. 

A hand at your lower back makes you scream, nearly tripping over your shoes and down the stairs. Bright red eyes meet yours as you’re turned around and caught.

“MC, what the hell are you doing here?” demands Lucifer.

Rather than wait for a response, he hauls you away from the stairs and through the house to your room. 

“Will you let me go?” you snap. “I’m not a toddler you need to carry around!” 

He scoffs, shutting the door firmly behind him. “Really? Is that why I just had to keep you from wandering into a room you know houses a creature that would consider you an appetizer?” 

“I was looking for you!”

The shout surprises you just as much as it does him. He takes a step back, putting even more distance between you. 

“I’m right here. What is it?” Lucifer is calm, deceptively so. His palms are turned to face you as if he’s trying to pacify some feral thing. 

It’s not working.

You’re across the room quicker than you believed possible, jamming your finger into his chest. “Where the fuck have you been? I haven’t seen you in days, nor has anyone else! Don’t feed me that bullshit story you told Mammon about work. You haven’t even been at meals!”

Lucifer blinks at your vitriol, for once at a loss for words apparently. You roll right over his silence.

“You don’t answer texts. You don’t answer calls. I knock on your door and get nothing in response. It’s like living with a ghost. Worse! At least a ghost would make its presence known!” 

Tears are building in your eyes but you shove them down to glare at him. The rage in your body coalesces at Satan’s pact mark, burning fever-hot under your skin. 

“I hadn’t realized my absence was so noted,” says Lucifer finally. He’s unmoving in the face of your outburst, still halfway to the door with his hands up. 

This is the response you get? After days of avoidance? 

You spin on your heel and stalk away from him so he won’t see you cry. 

“Just go. If you’re that dedicated to your ‘absence’, then go.” 

He’s gone when you emerge from your bathroom. On your bed is a neatly folded sweater—threadbare and marked with the occasional hole. You slip it on in spite of your… frustration? Grief? Some nebulous point between the two?

A small posy rests on your blanket under the sweater. Delicate yellow flowers tied with a piece of twine that seem brighter than day in the dark of your room. You tuck them into the greenery around your bed and wrap your arms tight across your stomach. 

You fall asleep drowning in the smell of parchment, leather, and smoke.

taglist: @inb4belphienaps @stormberrie @velaris-citizen-in-devildom @bunnaccino @abberant-butler​ @simeonsaysobeyme​ @ice-icebaby​ @silentlyunlucky​

a/n: if you want to be added to the taglist, shoot me an ask and i'll figure it out. (and if you want to be removed don't feel bad just let me know unless we’re besties in which case you’re stuck with me)

please keep in mind that this blog is nsfw. i post and interact with dark content. i forget to tag nsfw posts. if you're a minor or an ageless blog, don't interact with my nsfw posts or you'll be blocked. i actually prefer that neither of the two follow me at all. you can find my sfw blog at reapersbarge.

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader #obey me! #lo.writes #tagging makes no sense with this fandom #lo.long walk

[unholyplumpprincess]

Take Care of You

Fic for @fyeahnix ! Thank you so much for your patience during this!!! This also is a sequel for her other fic, ‘Don’t wanna forget a thing’, but can be read as a stand alone!

Ao3 link here

Summary: Wraith and her no good, awful, terrible day. Nothing is going right, stress is piling up, plans aren't going right, and to top it all off she can't sleep. She's gonna have to finally suck up her pride and ask her girlfriend to come over and help her sleep. But, Anita has better plans than just sleeping to help ease her girlfriend.Or! In which Anita takes care of Wraith in more ways than just helping her de-stress.

!!!Minors and ageless blogs dni or you will be blocked!!!

Reblogs > Likes - If you hit Like on this, please Reblog to support more future content like this :D

Fandom: Apex Legends

Relationship: Bangalore/Wraith

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, fluffy moments, mentions of Wraith’s depression, Anita tops with a dragon dildo and it’s gr8, rimming + anal play

Words: 9.5k

_____________

Life could be cruel. 

A statement that Wraith had made herself familiar with for quite some time. Though, she supposes, that this could not be the cruelest it could be. No, this was nothing like when she found out of her past- or... one of her pasts. It could get confused on who and which ‘she’ she was thinking of. Or even if they were a ‘she’ at all. Or what path, which life, which people, which-- 

Sigh. 

Exhausting. It's all too exhausting to consider. Every path, every outcome, every recent nightmare plaguing her mind and making her even more irritable. Nightmares that she didn’t know if they were of watching a life of hers get hurt, another path. Or if it was simple fears that every person had. 

Everything just seemed to be going wrong for her. It started off small enough, her nightmares had been triggered back into place. Insomnia making her dark under eyes look more like bruises nowadays and not helped by the way she rubs her eyes in exhaustion.  

Natalie, bless whatever planet she came from, would always chide her and gently move her hands from her face once she noted Wraith’s nails starting to sink into flesh. Wraith was forever grateful to her, but she wasn’t about to let Natalie believe she had to take care of her in any form of the manner. 

Natalie wasn’t her keeper, not her mother. But whenever Wraith would gently try to tell Natalie that she had this, she’d get a look from her best friend. One that was so gentle with a soft reminder from her glossy pink lips. 

“You do not have to do everything alone either.”

!Rest under the cut here!

A statement Wraith was familiar with. She’d been doing things on her own since she could remember. It just seemed hard to break that habit. To feel like she needed to do it on her own, to try and succeed when she knew it would be better to have even one shoulder to lean on.  

Relationships and friendships required balance, equality. She had to allow herself to get just as much as she gave. 

Harder than it sounded. 

On day three of her awful week, she looks at her phone for a moment in the night. Her thumb resting over the call button of the name ‘Handsome’ with a heart and ring emoji beside it. Cheesy, she’s aware. But for a moment, she thinks of calling Anita or even texting her. 

Just asking for her to be there. 

She would be. Wraith knew she would drop whatever she was doing to come take care of her, make sure she was okay. Wraith could practically taste Anita’s grape lip balm on her lips, the taste of mint on her tongue. The hint of gun smoke that always clung to Anita’s frame. The deepness of her cologne. 

Anita’s presence was like the first drink of water in the morning. The first warm bliss of sunshine after being in the biting cold. The first taste of warm food when you’d had a shitty day. Her presence was like that of comfort. 

Her home. 

In the end, she puts her phone face down. Welcoming another sleepless night with too many people talking. Too much tossing and turning. Too much yearning in her heart, but too much of a stubborn fool to do anything about it. 

-- 

The season is about midway through. Wraith had a strong start, topping the charts with her ferocity. Spurred on by Anita on an opposite squad and making her feel a bit more hectic in her need to hunt her girlfriend down. To pin her by her neck, dig her knees into Anita’s hand and murmur, “Surprise.” in her ear to watch those pretty freckled cheeks flush and a snarl uplifting one side of Anita’s lips before she stabbed her kunai into her throat. 

Flirting with your girlfriend just got more vicious when you were a part of a blood sport. 

Halfway through the season, they paired her with new people who were hoping to get in to call themselves Legends. Most wanted the glory all to themselves, going off as a solo only to get foolishly killed. Of course they did. This was a team sport, after all. But that left Wraith open and on her own. Just another body bag to take off the battlefield. 

Day five, she looks at her phone again. Thumb hovering over the text box that led to her and Anita’s conversation.  

It would be so easy.  

She would come if we just asked.  

Don’t you miss her?  

We miss her.  

Text her-  

Call her-  

Just press the button, you dumb girl-  

The girls, as Wraith has been recently referring to the voices after Anita lovingly calling them ‘Her Ladies’- as they are just people as well. They always have an opinion when it involves Anita. Wraith has always wondered if in all her other lives if they were with her as well, or if all of them had the same attraction. If they even all knew her from various lives. 

That sometimes made her smile. A childish desire to believe soulmates were real. 

Whatever the answer, they all had an opinion about the sunshine in Wraith’s life. Normally trying to get her to do like she’s considering now: Getting Anita into her quarters. 

Wraith huffs. Placing the phone face down on the nightstand and resting in bed with an arm over her eyes as an uproar of voices start trying to convince her to change her mind or to do something saucy to get Anita’s attention. 

-- 

Plans with Natalie fall through at the end of the week. She’s had a breakthrough on a project, meaning she needed to focus all her attention there to possibly prevent a meltdown. She apologizes profusely, but Wraith is quick to tell her she understands and to not worry, they can try for another day. Wraith promises to check in on her in a few hours to make sure she’s not forgetting to eat either, as she knows how Natalie can be when on the brink of something this big. 

So that falls to plan B of Elliott having told Wraith that he and Pathfinder were going to be having a night at the bar and she was free to join. But when Wraith calls him for that, he explains apologetically that Ramya wasn’t feeling too hot today so he was staying in to make sure she was doing okay. Siting something about not leaving family behind. 

It’s sweet, and understandable. Wraith once again explains that she understands, but when the call ends, she feels so horribly exhausted and at her wits end. A sigh on her lips, rubbing at her face and feeling on the very last leg of her thread. 

When she lies on her bed for the seventh day of the week, she stares at the ceiling with a blank expression. In desperate need of something. Anything.  

A sigh escapes her, her brows furrowing and coming to the realization all at once. 

She has to swallow her pride and call her girlfriend. 

It’s not that she doesn’t want to- oh she’s wanted to all week. But it’s...hard to admit to someone that you aren’t okay. That you just need someone there. Not to mention she feels a tinge of guilt. Whenever she had a bad time, her comfort was her girlfriend. To be wrapped in her arms and hear her soothing voice calming her. To smell her cologne and know her worries were put at ease with an easy kiss to the forehead and a tuck of her hair behind her pierced ear. 

Not like Anita hadn’t noticed Wraith doing well- attentive as she was. Wraith just kept saying she had it, that she was fine. Her poor defense mechanism kicking in and pushing away even the woman she loved. 

It’s hard enough for her to even sit up and grab the phone, once again hesitating before forcing herself to just send a simple ‘Hey’ text to her. Telling herself that if Anita said she was busy or even if she wasn’t going to respond because she was already asleep- that Wraith would drop it immediately. That she’d find something else- 

Ting, ting!  

Her phone lights up, casting a blue glow in the dim room and making Wraith’s heart pound at the quick reply. She feels like a teenager as her fingers wrap around her phone and flipping it to look at the text. Her heart does a flutter, feeling relief already in her body and tears pricking her eyes when she sees the text given back to her. 

‘hey boo whats goin on?’ 

A small, tired but fond laugh crosses Wraith’s lips. Rubbing at her eyes to steady herself and feeling a bit ridiculous for having worked herself up to the brink. But exhaustion still wears out her bones. Wraith sinks down onto the ground, pressing her back to her bed and sitting cross legged as she begins typing. 

She erases what she’s writing a few times, starting to become frustrated. Nothing sounds right- or it sounds too needy. Too whiny. Too wanting. But she finally settles on one. 

Honesty. 

‘I just miss you.’ 

That’s what she types at first, letting it sink in before swallowing her pride once more and beginning to type again. 

‘And I...’ 

A moment of hesitation to continue when she hits enter the first time. 

‘I feel like shit. Been having a rough week. Was wondering if you could come over tonight so I could get a few hours of sleep?’ 

When she hits send again, she debates deleting it. But when the read icon pops up in two seconds flat, she knows she’s got Anita’s full attention. 

Something about that makes her feel terribly wanted . 

‘of course pumpkin’ 

Wraith hates that it makes her smile, tired and soft. Pressing her hand to her cheek and feeling a bit ridiculous just how a confirmation and a nickname could make her heart flutter. 

‘be over in twenty’ 

Wraith clicks her phone screen closed. Moving to stand to go take a shower so she at the very least looked half presentable for Anita. Even if her body screams at her to just lie down already. 

Ting ting!  

Another text? Wraith would have assumed Anita was going to finish her nightly work out and then head over. She flips the device in her palm, opening up their conversation. 

‘and don’t even think about showering yet. I’ll take care of you tonight.’ 

‘bath? I’ll bring the snacks’ 

Wraith’s eyes linger on those words with an air of feeling like she was going to melt into a puddle. ‘I’ll take care of you tonight’ Anita said. And she could hear it in her voice too. Low in Wraith’s ear, her full lips caressing the shell of her ear and her voice dropping to a husk with a squeeze to her waist. Where Anita’s hands liked to linger, moving towards her softer abdomen that she oh so loved on her. 

‘I’d love that. Sorry if my hair is a mess :/' 

Wraith finds herself texting back in a more playful manner. Emoticons weren’t normally her thing. But, after texting between Elliott and Natalie who were both plentiful in emojis, Wraith finds herself trying to express her words better by adding some sort of emotion to them. Not so clinical. 

‘you look sexy when your hairs a mess’ 

And once again Wraith hates that it’s the small things that make her pale cheeks flush red. Huffing an amused noise under her breath and knowing Anita is probably laughing in return as Wraith shuts off her phone. 

Her room is a bit of a mess. She hadn’t had the energy to really take care of it much. So, she works on picking up dirty clothing and putting it into the hamper. Finding water bottles to toss out and taking glasses left around her quarters to go wash later. 

It wasn’t horrible, no, just some things where she just felt like she couldn’t do it. Where if she touched one more thing, she would have exploded. 

It looks presentable in a few minutes. Tasks put off that could have been easily done in two minutes that instead took a week to complete. It would have frustrated Wraith on any other day, but today she feels accomplished for even getting that much done. The small wins, as Anita would have put it. 

It makes Wraith feel proud for even rolling out of bed today. 

She also changes into some clean clothes. Nothing fancy, just simple. A spaghetti strap black camisole that her chest near spilled out of- a favorite sleeping shirt and a favorite of Anita’s to see. And some gray sweatpants that were most definitely stolen from Anita with how Wraith has to roll up the bottoms of them to not trip over them. Her hair is tied into a messy ponytail, some black waves curling around her cheeks and making her blow them out of the way with a gust of air. 

She figured she looked presentable enough. Anita tended to like when Wraith was dressed casually, even when Wraith knew how her eyes wandered whenever she dressed up. 

A reminder of their trip just a few months ago for their anniversary crosses through her mind. A small smile playing on her lips when she remembers how Anita couldn’t take her eyes off her in her tight dress. 

The time they spent in Psamathe would always be treasured. Every moment. And every photo tucked away for safe keeping for Wraith’s eyes only. The ones that were more...appropriate had another spot. Namely in her bedroom, on her desk with a photo of the both of them. With Anita’s arm around Wraith’s waist and leaning her cheek atop her head while Wraith smiled with her eyes closed. 

It was one of her favorites. 

She’s outside.  

Wraith makes her way to the living room just as she hears the telltale ‘beep beep’ of the door being unlocked. Able to see the sliding door open to show Anita. Dressed in her casual clothes with her workout bag and a plastic bag slung over her shoulder. Her curls are a bit wet looking, clearly fresh from a shower. A tight white crew neck t-shirt clings to her frame, tucked into camouflage cargo pants and a black leather jacket with silver studs on the shoulders. 

Wraith feels her clit throb. Feeling a bit too wound up already. 

Before Anita can even get a word out, Wraith pounces her. The door sliding shut behind her and bracing Anita’s back to prevent her from falling. Wraith hears a vague ‘woah’ from her and the thump of the two bags over her shoulder hitting the ground. 

Wraith can’t help herself as her strong legs slide around Anita’s hips to secure herself. Feeling calloused palms grab her ass to hold her up and in place just as Wraith’s hands move. One grabbing the nape of Anita’s neck, the other cupping her cheek and dragging her into a hot and heavy kiss. 

Wraith feels all her worries melt away the second their lips make contact. Tasting Anita’s grape lip balm, the taste of mint on her tongue, inhaling the smoky scent off her clothes and the deep scent of leather. The subtleness of the musk and citrus of her cologne. 

She moans freely into her mouth, delighted when Anita hums back, her hands gripping Wraith’s plump ass tight and appreciative. 

Anita is the first to break the kiss, but that doesn’t even make Wraith pause. Kissing down her jawline, down her neck where her teeth start to nip the sensitive flesh right above the silver chains on her dog tags. 

“Fuck-” Anita hisses through her teeth, only spurring Wraith on to seal her lips on a spot on her neck and beginning to suck. Stopping herself from smiling when she hears Anita's breath hitch. 

There's a tighter grip on her ass as Anita walks them back into Wraith’s bedroom. Wraith’s back turned towards her bed and- 

Move. 

When Anita goes to throw her onto the bed, Wraith moves fast to let herself hit the bed. Rolling out from under her just as Anita goes to pounce and promptly hooking her legs around Anita’s waist. Rolling them over so Wraith comes out on top on her lap, delighting in how Anita blinks a few times to get her bearings before her eyes settle on Wraith victoriously atop her. 

“You little -” Anita starts, but is promptly cut off by how hungry Wraith’s lips press to hers. 

Wraith can taste the frustration melting from Anita, feeling how her hands go from pressing at Wraith’s sides to shove her off potentially. To now moving slowly down the curves of her sides, sliding over her plump ass and encouraging Wraith’s little humping movements against her. 

Their lips part occasionally to mingle their breath. Both their half lidded gazes meeting and Anita’s full lips tugging into a small smile when Wraith sighs at the sight of her. But that’s cut off when Wraith leans in again, meeting her tongue first in a kiss that draws a low, deep moan from Anita’s lips. 

Anita’s hands are all over her as Wraith’s hips slowly grind into her. Anita’s hands slide up along her sides, up into her hair to tug it free from its ponytail. Silky black locks fall free, and Anita parts from the kiss just as Wraith sits up a little. Her calloused fingers sliding up and over Wraith’s collarbones, up her neck and just holding loosely for a brief moment around her throat. 

Wraith’s heart flutters, her lashes fluttering just the same and arching her back. A low moan leaving her lips when Anita croons low and raspy in her throat, “Love when you look a mess for me.” 

Wraith shudders under the attention, worries already starting to get put on the back shelf for Future Wraith to deal with. Content to lean back in for another kiss, taking her time licking into Anita’s mouth. Her hands starting to slide under Anita’s shirt, nails scratching along the way across taut muscle- 

Watch it.  

Wraith doesn’t have time to question it. Not when she’s so intoxicated by Anita’s taste and scent. Fingers wrap in her hair at the root, pulling and forcing Wraith’s back to arch and forcing her to sit up. She moans for the pain of it, her hips rolling helplessly into Anita’s lap with a hiss and a flutter of her lashes. 

A low, breathless chuckle falls from Anita’s lips, and Wraith knows the sight of her is making her just as much of a mess as Wraith is. “Woah, Kitty. Relax. I missed you too, but let's focus on you for now, yeah?” 

“I like my way better.” Wraith speaks, a smirk in her voice that is quickly extinguished when her hair is held tighter and forcing her to bare her throat. Keeping her in place like a scruffed kitten as Anita sits up to kiss the expanse of her neck down to the strap of her tanktop on her shoulder. 

“Betcha do. Always been good at distracting yourself from your feelings, hm? Let’s get you cleaned up, princess.” 

Pent up but willing to follow, Wraith only groans low in her throat. Letting Anita slip out from under her and peeking up at her when Anita looks down at her. Wordlessly, Wraith lifts her arms up like a pouting child, enjoying the way Anita’s eyes roll despite her soft smile and she lifts her up. Allowing Wraith to hook her legs around her and arms around her neck to be carried into her bathroom without much of a fight. 

The bathrooms for their quarters were nice. Some had walk in showers, some had clawfoot tubs. In Wraith’s case, she’d gotten a tub. At first that had been a struggle, but if she wanted a shower she could just go to Anita’s or the gym’s locker rooms. Especially on nights where no one else was awake. 

Small risks were had on those nights. With a hand over Anita’s mouth and the other sinking fingers into her and making the soldier beg. 

Anita sets Wraith atop the sink so she can begin drawing the bath. Going under her sink and finding the self-care items that Anita and Natalie had equally purchased for her. 

Bottles full of expensive hair care items that Anita had gotten for her, siting her expertise on hair care. Things like bubbles and soaps purchased by Natalie, who for some reason knew what scents were too much for Wraith and managed to avoid them miraculously. 

“Let’s get you undressed, baby.” Anita’s voice gets Wraith out of her trance. Feeling the weight settling back on her of the last two weeks. Suddenly tired, worn out. Too tired to take off her own clothes and grateful when she feels Anita gently working her out of them. Her warm touch sliding over her bare flesh and it makes Wraith sigh softly, her shoulders slumping. 

When she finally can refocus on the world, it’s when Anita is gently leading her to the tub. Letting Wraith sink into the warm water, the scent of lavender and vanilla quiet in the room. Anita only leaves briefly to return with a few candles, setting them around and turning off the lights to leave a quiet, low glow. 

Wraith watches her quietly. Watching as Anita begins to strip and sighing to herself at the sight of her working out of her clothes. Her eyes sliding over the muscle freshly wound up from Anita’s work out, the scars on her body telling stories not even Wraith knew all the answers to. 

She was picture perfect- even if Anita didn’t think so some days. No one would think the headstrong soldier could have her shy moments, but Wraith knew the truth. When the clothes came off and her dark eyes looked at Wraith as if waiting for her to comment something other than how handsome she thought she was. 

When Anita comes close, Wraith makes room for Anita to slide in behind her. Sliding her legs on either side of Wraith and sloshing the water a bit. Wraith leans back into her when Anita’s arms slide around her slowly, encouraging her to lean back until Anita can rest her chin atop her head. 

They sit in silence, and Wraith knows that Anita is waiting on her to open up. To work through her feelings and talk about it. 

It’d always been...difficult. Where the words wanted to come out, but Wraith’s throat closed. Where her frustrations became something more than just something as simple as a shitty week of back-to-back frustrations. 

Where her memories cannot separate past from present. 

“I don’t know where to start.” Wraith murmurs finally, feeling Anita’s fingers tracing circles into the softness of her abdomen and soothing her immediately. She tips her head back against Anita, closing her eyes when lips press to her forehead gently. 

“Don’t have to say a word ’till you’re ready, Shorty.” Anita murmurs in return, making Wraith at least crack a small smile at the familiar pet name.  

“And if I’m never ready?” 

Wraith can physically feel the smile Anita pulls on her forehead, another press of a kiss there before she grabs Wraith’s chin. She tips it all the way back, straining Wraith’s neck so she has to look up at her. “I have a good way of making stubborn kittens like you talk.” 

Wraith’s face flushes, her heart pounding in her ears and pulling herself from Anita’s hold of her chin to face forward. Anita’s body rumbles behind her with laughter, her nose nuzzling at the top of Wraith’s head and her arms squeezing her back to her strong chest. 

It’s...easy. The thoughts come easy when it’s Anita. Where the words once clog her throat and anxiety eats at her lungs- she can finally find the words. 

And Wraith spills. Talking of her hard week, feeling a weight lifted the second she mentions just how tired and exhausted she is. That she’s tired of being leader, that she just wants to get taken care of and for things to go right. How all her plans have been falling through. 

All while Anita is attentive to her. Humming and going ‘Mhm’ or nodding her head in understanding. Starting to work on washing Wraith’s hair for her, massaging into her scalp and briefly making Wraith’s woes disintegrate with each loving swirl of her fingers and scratch of her nails. The soft scent of lavender and figs filling the room as Anita tips Wraith’s head back to pour water through her hair and pecking a kiss on her forehead. 

Familiar movements come with the conditioner. Where Anita twirls her hair through each strand as if to encourage her natural wavy pattern. Anita was the type to be very particular about her hair, teaching Wraith the care behind it when she expressed interest in doing her hair for her.  

As Wraith’s words start to dwindle down and tears stop pricking her eyes, Anita starts to wash her body so lovingly. A washcloth with vanilla scented soap working all across her body. Her head being practically cradled back into Anita and Wraith’s back arching so she can let her wash her thoroughly. Arching back into her and sighing when Anita moves the washcloth down her body, down over her abdomen. As if pushing all worries down, down, down, into the water below to be later swirled down the drain. 

Wraith can’t really help herself when her breath hitches as bare fingers skim down over her happy trail, down over her mound and then back up. It’s a purposeful tease, one that makes her sigh shakily when she hears Anita’s fond hum behind her in her ear. A small nip to her pierced ear and Anita’s deep tone crooning, “Be patient. Thought you said bath time was a sacred place?” 

“Starting to regret past me.” Wraith huffs, her head straining back in an arch against Anita’s shoulder when her hand starts to come up. Squeezing one of Wraith’s full breasts and skimming over a pierced nipple in a way that catches her breath. It only quickens when Anita’s hand comes up, loosely wrapping around her exposed throat and a low moan leaving Anita’s lips in a way that makes Wraith’s clit throb . 

“Don’t look so temptin'. Might eat you alive.” 

She could make us forget.  

She better watch her mouth before we shut it for h-  

Imagine her tongue-  

Her hands-  

What she could do to us-  

Watch it.  

Wraith’s eyes open just in time to see a bubbly hand come up and a finger to gently tap to her nose. Bubbles linger, popping and tickling and making her nose scrunch.  

Laughter falls from Anita, only to spike up when Wraith squirms from her, grabbing a handful of bubbles to shove into her face. The water sloshes with Anita’s jerk and the sharp gasp from her that’s intended to sound more dramatic and offended than she is. But when she wipes the bubbles aside to look at Wraith’s smug expression, she narrows her own dark eyes. “Oh, it is war.” 

Laughter ensues when Anita lunges forward with a new handful of bubbles. The water sloshing around them and onto the ground as they both try to smash bubbles into each other. 

There's giggling, yells of ‘no fair’ and ‘brat’ being exchanged until finally Wraith goes to splash her and ends up with both her wrists being snatched and held to Anita’s chest to keep her still. 

They’re both panting. Anita’s curls have bubbles popping in them, her skin wet and glistening with the soapy water. Bubbly water swirls down the drain beneath the tub built into the tiles, the floor wet and an even more dangerous battlefield.  

“Truce?” Wraith speaks, looking at how Anita’s eyes narrow with her smile. It’s one that tells her she’s debating throwing another metaphorical punch in. 

“Truce.” Anita finally decides, jerking Wraith’s trapped wrists forward so she can press a kiss to her nose. 

They finally make it out of the bath, but when Wraith goes for her clothes- she's quickly shooed away from them and told to just go lie on the bed after she dries off. 

“Whatever you say, Boss.” Wraith teasingly quips back, quickly getting her ass pinched and making her yelp with laughter as she heads for the bed. Feeling a bit less exhausted then when they had started. 

Lying on the bed dutifully in the dark, Wraith lies on her stomach with her arms crossed under her head and a pillow tucked under her chest and stomach for comfort. It feels a bit exposing to be lying there naked, the sheets feeling cool against her warm flesh. But, Wraith finds comfort in closing her eyes and easing her body’s tension. Knowing Anita wouldn’t do anything to harm her or surprise her. 

When Anita does enter the bedroom again, Wraith can hear the soft swish of clothing on her body. Only mildly disappointing, Wraith’s almost tempted to crack an eye open and grumble for her to get undressed again. 

But words die in her throat when the bed shifts with Anita’s weight, her strong legs straddling Wraith’s thighs and the pop of a cap heard. 

The scent of some sort of oil fills Wraith’s senses first, hearing Anita rubbing her hands together before they start sliding the oil across Wraith’s shoulders and back. Working the taut muscles there first and making a sigh leave her lips as talented fingers slide up the back of her neck and then back down along her spine. 

Anita is god sent with her motions. Even more so when she leans down towards Wraith’s ear, murmuring with her chest pressed to her back and making Wraith feel each rumble of her low voice. “There you go, kitten. Nice and easy, yeah? Relax for me.” 

Wraith hums low in her throat in reply, a sigh following when Anita sits back up and her fingers work down her back and over her sides. Feeling her shift down her body to work more across Wraith’s body and all her taut muscles. Kisses press down her spine, down towards her lower back and kissing each dimple there before the weight shifts again. 

Hands slide over her ass and Wraith tenses up but soon eases. A low moan leaving her when the massaging touches get rougher. Soon pressing to her thighs and pressing them apart until Anita can move her body between them this time.  

If it were anyone else, Wraith would feel exposed. Too exposed for comfort. But...with Anita? She’s never been more willing to rip herself apart, expose all her bad- all her good that came with it. To bust her ribcage open and hold her beating pulse if it meant seeing Anita’s soft, sweet smile that was always crooked and how her dark brown eyes looked at Wraith like she was the most beautiful thing on this planet. 

Wraith’s breath catches, her fingers curling into the sheets when teeth nip at her hip. Soft, pale skin easy to bruise there and making her sigh again when a tongue dips out to taste the bite. 

“Bleh -” Anita huffs, clearly getting a mouthful of oil as she sits up and the moment breaks momentarily. It makes Wraith laugh, shifting to peek over her shoulder to see the way her girlfriend’s nose scrunches and she’s wiping her mouth off on the bottom of her tanktop. Lifting the fabric towards her mouth and showing off her abs in a way that Wraith can’t help but admire. 

“Not your smartest move, baby.” Wraith quips, seeing how Anita’s eyes shift up to her face and narrow in reply. 

“Hey, don’t condescend me.” Anita huffs back at her, reaching and smacking Wraith’s ass just hard enough to make Wraith jump with a flutter of her lashes. “I’m trynna make you feel good. I don’t need you acting like a brat.” 

“Mhh. My apologies, Ma’am. Won’t happen again. I’ll be good.” Wraith smiles through her words, knowing they sound a bit too sarcastic for Anita’s liking with the look she gets. 

Her laughter is smothered in her arms when Anita swats her ass again in a quiet way of telling her to shut up. 

When the tension dies down again, Anita gets back to work of her massage. Working on Wraith’s lower back and easing her once more, working back down to her ass where her hands slide over the plump frame of it. Nails catch Wraith, scratching down the backs of her thighs and making a whine catch in her throat. Another kiss is pressed on her lower back, and that’s all the warning she gets when hands grab her ass and spread her apart. 

Wraith’s face flushes bright red, burying herself deeper into her arms at how exposed she feels. She knows she’s wet too, feeling the warmth seeping there and shuddering when Anita adjusts her grip to make sure she can spread her pussy apart too with the action. 

Wraith can’t help but tip her hips upwards, arching her back and shuddering when Anita moans low in her throat with a, “Good girl.” It sends Wraith into a spiral as her hips jerk into the air without even being touched. 

It was rare Wraith wasn’t in control. She liked having it over Anita- who she believed needed a break from being in control all the time. And just...Wraith struggled with feeling submissive. But in times like this, it didn’t feel so much as submission as it felt like they were equals. Where Anita’s touches were experimental and quiet, always room for Wraith to disagree or politely tell her otherwise. 

It also helps that Anita’s talented hands just made her into putty. Relaxed for the first time in weeks. Her mind thankfully empty except for the thoughts running rampant about being touched. 

Still exposed, Wraith can feel how her cunt drools with slick. She can hear how Anita moans low, her breath close to her skin before her tongue slides up. Licking Wraith from her clit, all the way up her cunt, up further to lick across her ass and along her hole. 

Wraith feels dizzy from how turned on she is. Whimpers falling from her throat unwillingly when Anita’s tongue focuses on her ass. Swiping over her hole, licking and pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses. The pleasure isn’t new, Wraith has been touched like this before, but it doesn’t change how electrifying it feels. 

“God, ‘Nita-” Wraith breathes out, her lashes fluttering when she lifts her head to breathe. Tipping her head back and moaning outwardly when she hears Anita hum against her, her tongue pressing into her experimentally. 

Anita’s rough fingers slide up Wraith’s thigh, slipping briefly along her pussy and collecting the wetness seeping there before her mouth leaves her. Fingers toying now with her ass, brushing wet knuckles across until Wraith feels like she’s going to snap from how tight she’s wound. 

“’Nita- ” Wraith whines this time, her name like a prayer on her tongue as one finger sinks into her ass. Anita’s mouth doesn’t stop though, moving to kiss across her ass instead and sinking her teeth into a soft cheek. Undoubtedly getting more oil in her mouth, but being more subtle about the mistake by dragging her tongue across Wraith’s hip. 

Wraith is practically humping the bed to brush her clit across the sheets. A second finger is introduced to her hole, and her entire body trembles. 

“That’s a good girl. Gotcha purrin’ like a little kitty, hm?” Anita’s voice is rough, sending tremors through Wraith’s body and a mewl following to make her point even more clear. Anita’s fingers pump inside of her, fucking her at a nice pace and sending another jolt through Wraith’s body with a cry. “What a good kitten you are.” 

It’s an experimental phrase. Not that Anita hasn’t teasingly referred to her as a cat before. But in bed? This was new. A new word that only proves to make Wraith clutch at the sheets, mewling and twisting her body as her lower half fills with fire of desire. 

“A-Anita-” Wraith gets out, her breath stuttering and ragged. A third finger is introduced, and she buries her face into the pillow beneath her to muffle her raw cry. Tears fill her eyes at the pleasure, caught between trying to fuck herself back onto Anita’s skilled fingers, or hump downwards against the bed. 

“Use your words, baby.” Anita’s voice is like silk, her fingers rocking slow and hard into Wraith. Dragging them slowly back and pressing back inside, curling downwards into her and making Wraith feel oh so full. 

“Hhh-” Is all Wraith can get out at first, definitely drooling on herself by now as her eyes go unfocused. But she manages at the very least. “Fuck me- just fuck me already, ‘Nita, G-God you’re so good- ah!” 

Hard to talk when your girlfriend can’t get enough of you, it seems. Because Anita only hums at first, still fucking her fingers into Wraith without a sign of stopping. Her tongue returning to lick around her fingers. 

But finally, blissfully, she departs. A small pat to Wraith’s ass and a murmur to wait there and get on all fours being said. 

Sluggishly, Wraith picks herself back up on shaky arms. Moving so she can sit herself up on all fours, hugging a pillow to her chest and arching her back to put her ass nice and high in the air with spread legs. Even going so far as to slowly sway her hips, living up to that cat persona Anita is so fond of calling her. 

She’s watching.  

Wraith can hear fabrics shifting and the loud zzpppt sound of a harness being tugged tight around Anita’s body. She only knows she’s looking because she can hear the mutter of a swear under her breath. It makes Wraith smile to herself, knowing she had such an effect on her. 

The bed creaks and shifts with Anita's weight. She settles behind Wraith, a hand coming underneath her to brush her whole palm against her cunt until Wraith presses down into it in a hump. 

A chuckle is heard behind her before two fingers brush past her enlarged clit, sneaking down until they can slip into her cunt and curling forward. Wraith doesn’t hide her cry, or her eagerness when she shoves her hips back into Anita’s fingers with a moan. 

Wraith knows Anita won’t finger her long- not out of not caring, no. But because Wraith liked the pain of the stretch. It was something Anita had worried about at first the first few times she was allowed to top. Always asking if Wraith was okay, if she was hurt. But nowadays, Anita knew that the rougher she was, the wetter Wraith got. 

“Mmh, hey, Rey?” Anita’s voice is gentle despite her fingers curling into Wraith. It’s hard to hear her at first, but Wraith catches it, humming in her throat quizzically. “Remember when we had our anniversary?” 

It’s not a question. It’s a set up to something bigger. But it’s hard to really be suspicious when your girlfriend is curling her fingers inside of you juuuuust right and her dumb, stupid, gorgeous smoky voice is doing a number on you already. 

So, you can’t really blame Wraith when she practically whimpers out a, “Y-yeah-” without any hint she’s actually listening or curious to what else Anita has to say. 

Thankfully, Anita doesn’t seem to press. Just humming in reply. “Yeah. Was nice.” In a manner that would normally make Wraith suspicious at first, if she wasn’t feeling Anita’s fingers leaving and hearing the shuffle behind her as she comes closer. 

Questions for later. 

Now Wraith can feel the dildo behind her. Anita’s chosen cock of the night was one she was familiar with by now. She can see it in her mind clear as day. A dark, obsidian base to a dragon-like imagery. Thick and girthy, with ribs and bubbles that stimulated harshly. It wasn’t very long, just about maybe six inches, but it was incredibly thick. Fading to a deep shade of red at the tapered head with gold flecks hinting into the silicone. 

Wraith sighs, practically melting so her front rests on the bed and her ass sticks high in the air, thighs splayed wide and ready. She can’t help but move her hips back across Anita’s cock, slipping her cunt across it and letting her breath catch. 

Anita’s laugh behind her is soft and low, her hands grabbing Wraith’s plump ass and holding her nice and steady. “Nice an’ easy, kitty cat. Look like you’re about to purr. That happy to get fucked?” 

Wraith won’t entertain her with a retort. But she does entertain her with a huff, tipping her head so she can look behind her shoulder out of the corner of her eye. Catching Anita’s look, how her head tilts and her curls remain immaculate, her lopsided smile and the glow of the lamp behind her makes her look heavenly. 

Sunshine incarnate. 

And Wraith, the moon, helplessly attracted to her and aching to be within her orbit. 

She’s beautiful.  

She wants us.  

Look at how hungry she is.  

We could have her-  

If she just let us-  

-uld take her, wipe that grin right off her mouth.  

For a brief moment, Anita’s face crosses with worry. Undoubtedly from the milky white of Wraith’s eyes. But with a small smile sent her way to quietly tell her it’s alright, her worry vanishes back to that cocky look and a squeeze of Wraith’s ass. 

“My Ladies distracting you?” Anita says with that same cocky look, that same lopsided grin and gentleness in her dark eyes that makes Wraith’s heart race from more than just arousal now. 

Yes.  

“No.” 

Wraith’s quick reply is met with a laugh. And Wraith hides her smile and playful lie by turning her head back into her arms. 

It doesn’t take long to get back into it. Where Anita lines herself up and gently presses the head in. She’s always so careful at first, always so gentle with her grip on Wraith’s hips. It could be sickening sometimes how gentle this soldier could treat her sometimes. Like glass. 

Like Wraith was something precious to her. 

Wraith groans, shoving her hips back and moaning when she feels the sharp bite of pain from taking the entire cock in at once. She’s greeted with the hiss from Anita, a sharp slap to her ass and a harsh grip that only serves to make Wraith groan. 

“Hey- you’re not in charge here.” Anita grunts, her voice low and blunt nails digging into the soft flesh of Wraith’s ass. Wraith can’t even pretend she’s sorry, not with her moan and how she rolls her hips back into Anita’s for her to just get on with it. “Keep acting bratty and maybe I’ll just have to tie you up.” 

Now THAT gets Wraith’s attention. A weak mewl leaving her at the idea of Anita having to hold her down by the back of her throat, another on the rope binding her wrists behind her back, just using her however she pleased. Taking what she wanted. 

Now that was a thought. 

“Promises, promises.” Wraith manages to choke out through another moan when Anita pulls her hips back nice and slow. Feeling each bump, each rib stimulating inside of her. Apparently, her retort isn’t desired when she feels a slap hit her ass, making Wraith’s body jerk, only to be yanked back roughly by her hips onto Anita’s cock. 

It’s a repetitive motion, one that Wraith tries to keep up with. Trying to fuck herself back onto Anita’s cock or trying to even push herself up onto her forearms to get a better angle. But Anita lets her have none of that, a hand twisting in Wraith’s hair and pressing her cheek back down to the bed, her other hand gripping her hip and holding her still to fuck into her. 

Wraith is a mess under her, clawing at the sheets and trembling under her. Anita’s voice caresses her ear, thick and low and murmuring, “Yeah? You like being treated like this, baby? Like being mine?” And Wraith is so helpless, unable to argue or come up with snarky in time. Only able to whimper in turn. 

When Anita sits up behind her, Wraith can hear the wet sound of maybe fingers in her own mouth before two fingers brush by her ass again. It’s all the warning she gets before they plunge into her, curling and pressing downwards to make Wraith feel fuller and fuller from both holes. 

It’s so overstimulating. It’s so much- she's so close- 

And then Anita stops. 

And Wraith practically screams in frustration, trying to twist herself but still held down by the hand in her hair and only able to exhale sharply in irritation. Trying to fuck herself back onto Anita’s hips and fingers, but unable to with how she’s scooted forward to press flush into Wraith. 

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Anita’s voice is teasing, dripping with faux sympathy. Her fingers aren’t stilling either, pumping into Wraith and making her feel her own slick drool down to the bed undoubtedly in strings. “Ya wanna cum?” 

“Yes- ” Wraith practically hisses, her nails digging into the sheets and feeling just a second closer to ripping open a rift just so she could get the upper hand.  

“Then be a good kitty for me and make some noise. Meow for me.” 

Wraith’s face turns three shades of red, her heart still pounding in her chest from being on the precipice of cumming. There's a feeling almost like humiliation in her and yet she... 

She kind of liked it. 

“Make me.” Wraith finds herself saying, almost immediately regretting it from the way Anita’s fingers still and pull out of her. The feeling of her strong hands holding her hips and sliding them up and over her waist. 

“Suit yourself.” 

It’s with that that Anita pulls out, and at first Wraith goes to maybe turn herself over, but a hand on her lower back keeps her in place now. Feeling how the head of Anita’s cock slips further up, brushing across her ass and making Wraith’s breath catch. There’s no warning when Anita grabs her hips, sinking her blunt nails in and the head popping into Wraith. 

It almost hurts. Almost. But there’s something about that bite that makes Wraith’s eyes roll into the back of her head with each inch fed into her until Anita’s hips press flush to her ass. 

Oh, what Wraith wouldn’t give just to see what Anita looked like right now. 

Wraith is a mess, squirming and on the same hand trying so hard to hold still. Especially when one of Anita’s hands slides off her hip, reaching under her to capture her clit between her index finger and middle finger’s knuckles to jerk her engorged clit casually. 

Anita knew just how to work her. Just how to drive Wraith to the brink and bring her back down. Until Wraith was squirming back on her cock, choking on a sob over how full she feels and how Anita’s hand slaps lightly across her cunt and makes Wraith’s body jump. Pushing her back further onto Anita’s cock and making a moan choke from her again. 

Anita was going to kill her. And what a beautiful death it would be. 

“You know what I want.” Anita gruffly murmurs by Wraith’s ear. “Gonna make me force it out of you? I can do this all day, baby.” 

That finally seems to do it. A mewl parting from Wraith’s lips, followed by Anita’s murmur of ‘Good girl’ that only makes Wraith do it again for good measure. A shatter of Wraith’s need for control. 

Anita’s fingers hook around her hips again, pounding her hips into Wraith’s ass and fucking her harder now. Each loud slap of skin on skin bringing Wraith closer until she’s stuttering on her next pronounced mewl as she’s cumming. Cumming harder than she think she’s ever done in her life with harsh tremors of her body and sobs of Anita’s name. 

That doesn’t even stop Anita, only making her a bit rougher as she reaches under Wraith to grab at her breasts, thumbing at her pierced nipples. Sob after sob leaves Wraith, squirming as her clit throbs and squirt dribbles down her inner thighs from the intensity of her orgasm. Her eyes roll into the back of her head, helpless but to take whatever Anita gives her. 

And take she does. 

It’s when Anita slows her hips down does Wraith finally begin to catch her breath. She’s drooling for sure on her arms, blinking blearily and making a soft noise in her throat of curiosity at why the pace has slowed. 

“Said you remembered our anniversary, right?” Anita asks in that way that really means it’s not a question, so Wraith doesn’t respond. Not until her hair is pulled and forces her head up with a cry, bowing her back beautifully for Anita. It’s then that she gets why Anita is asking. 

In front of her, on the pillow, is a laptop. One that Wraith didn’t even realize was put there. And on the screen is that video she’d taken. Seeing herself crawl up onto the bed to work Anita into a strap on, her own voice in the video ringing out, “Wasn’t really asking you, Princess.” 

Wraith’s breath catches in real time, the fingers twisted in her hair keeping her nice and still as Anita’s hips start to pound into her. “Keep watching.” Anita murmurs, lips brushing by her ear and sending a shiver through Wraith’s frame. 

She’s made to watch as she guides Anita’s head in the video to her cunt, how she’s covered in Wraith’s lipstick from the night, how she slips her panties past her lips, how Anita looks so adoringly at her. 

Like she is now.  

Lips press to the side of Wraith’s neck, just under her ear and kissing down her neck, down her shoulder. Each thrust sends her body bouncing, jerked right back onto Anita’s cock and hearing just how Anita moans nice and low. The harness must be pressing right against her clit, sending dull vibrations through. 

Wraith’s mouth waters at the idea of being able to lick her raw. 

Anita’s low groan and her hips stuttering capture Wraith’s attention. Feeling her hair released so her hips can be grabbed, her wide hips being held still so Anita can fuck herself into her, humping her ass and once more making Wraith’s eyes roll back. The sounds of her girlfriend cumming making her match as she begins to cum with a cry, equally matched by how Anita slaps her ass and grips the plump cheek with a groan. 

As they both come down from their highs, Wraith can’t support her own weight anymore. Not when Anita slips from her and releases her, making Wraith practically melt onto the bed in a splat. Legs apart, one lightly pulled up, her body shaking and trembling and lying in her own little wet spot with lubricant leaking out of her ass. 

Surprise.  

Click!  

“Anita!” 

The click of a camera following flash and one of the Ladies speaking makes Wraith groan in embarrassment. Hearing Anita chuckle and lightly patting her ass lovingly. “What? Thought you’d like a reminder for later, baby.” 

“Mnnnhph-” Wraith groans in turn, reaching back to swat blindly at Anita who laughs as she slips off the bed. 

From there, Wraith is gently pulled into Anita’s lap- who has set her harness to the side and slid her shorts back on. Gently, Wraith is cradled in her lap, a hand on the back of her head and pressing her face into Anita’s neck where she inhales her scent and the hint of sweat. Anita’s other hand rubs Wraith’s thigh softly, soothingly, giving her a fond and comforting squeeze to her frame. 

A kiss presses to Wraith’s ear, and just the gentle move makes her blush, squeezing her arms around Anita tighter and making a positive noise. 

“How do you feel?” Anita murmurs, pressing a firm kiss to Wraith’s shoulder adoringly. 

“Better.” Wraith confirms in a small voice, her throat aching and her mouth dry. “Little thirsty.” 

“Mmh, I’ll bet.” 

“Anita.” 

Anita laughs at the stern, scolding tone. She murmurs an ‘Alright, alright’ as she gently shifts Wraith off her lap and onto the bed- out of the wet spot on the bed. She’s only gone for a moment before a cold water bottle is given to her, following a sugary pack of gummy prowlers that makes Wraith break out into a beam. 

Easy to please, she’s well aware. But she’s also aware of the way Anita looks at her oh so fondly with a little half smile as Wraith snatches the candy delightedly. 

Once more Anita leaves after double checking Wraith didn’t need anything more physically. When she returns, it’s with an armful of fresh sheets, but at first Wraith doesn’t pay any mind to her being there. 

She’s watching us.  

Peeking up and through her lashes, Wraith tries to hold back a blush at seeing Anita with an armful of new sheets and blankets. The little smile back on her face and the lightest flex of her biceps in her tanktop making Wraith feel how she did the first time she’d ever seen Anita look at her like that. 

Thankfully the silent staring is broken when Anita walks in and shoos Wraith from the bed to take the soiled sheets and change them. From there, she goes and gets a wet washcloth to help clean off Wraith without the need for another bath, also getting her a new pair of panties and one of her big hoodies she took comfort in. 

Anita gestures for Wraith’s arms to go up as she holds the hoodie and Wraith obeys. Only for Anita to pull it down over her head, stopping when she’s at her shoulders while Wraith is blind so she can push her back onto the clean bed. Sending Wraith gasping, only to fall into a giggling fit when Anita’s hands grab her hips to hold her in place. Anita presses kisses up her tummy, pressing a raspberry there while Wraith is helpless and squirming, still caught in the hoodie. 

The torture ends soon when Anita tugs the bottom of the hoodie down to rescue Wraith. Wraith can feel her cheeks flushing as she looks up at Anita, seeing her half-lidded eyes and her fond half smirk down at her. She’s straddling Wraith now, arms on either side of her head and looking all the more charming per minute. 

Wraith can’t stop her racing heartbeat when Anita leans in, fondly pressing their foreheads together. 

“Hey.” Anita softly murmurs. 

“Hey.” Wraith murmurs back just as soft, closing her eyes and turning her head to rub their noses softly together. 

They move back into the bed together. With Wraith tucked into Anita’s arms, her ass pressing back against her and her cold fingers holding onto Anita’s arms around her body. Anita’s chin tucks against the top of Wraith’s head, occasionally moving to press a kiss. 

“How are you feeling, by the way?” Anita starts, resting her cheek against the top of Wraith’s head. When Wraith hums back quizzically, Anita clarifies. “You were upset earlier. Ya know just makin’ sure my baby’s okay. I mean, I know you’re satisfied physically-” 

That earns her a laugh from Wraith and an elbow in the ribs, sending Anita laughing in turn. It’s good she’s got her back to Anita, or she’d see just how much her absentminded ‘my baby’ affected Wraith. 

“I’m better,” Wraith murmurs, pulling Anita’s hand up to her face to kiss her palm tenderly. “Thanks...for coming over, I mean. And just...being with me. I should have told you earlier but I-I was...” 

Wraith trails off, pulling Anita’s hand to cup her cheek and sighing when Anita’s thumb caresses her cheekbone. A quiet and patient understanding as she waits for Wraith to continue. 

“I don’t know- I was stubborn, I guess.” Wraith finishes after a moment. Rolling over to look at Anita and letting her arms drape over her waist. At first not meeting Anita’s gaze, not until fingers gingerly grab her chin, guiding her gaze up to Anita. 

“Hey, I get it. It’s hard asking for help. But you know I’m here for you, okay?” Anita’s voice is gentle, a low rumble and making Wraith’s heart burst into a frenzy again. Especially when Anita leans in, pressing a warm, soft kiss to her forehead. “I love you. For better or for worse.” 

“Your ‘hopeless romantic’ is showing again.” Wraith playfully mumbles, smiling when she feels Anita smile against her forehead in turn. 

Soon they settle back down. Only the soft glow of the fairy lights Wraith has overhead making the room glow. Anita cradles Wraith to her chest, stroking through her hair and down her neck, occasionally drawing or writing mindless things with her fingers. 

One day, Wraith’s mind reminds her. 

One day they could forget the games. Start a life on their own together. 

For better or for worse.  

#Bangawraith #Voidstrike #bangalore x wraith #apex legends #apex lemons #apex legends nsft #nsft #lemon #commissions #princess writing

[wave0fg00dvibes]

Backup - Spencer Reid x Reader

A/N: Hi friends! Once again, it’s been forever. It feels amazing to be posting again. I hope you love this one as much as I do!

Please leave feedback if you have any! Lots and lots and LOTS of love, as always.

Content Warning: None

Word Count: 3K

--------------------

Being a mother is the greatest gift.

In becoming a mother, I finally gained the ability to find things that have “disappeared” around the house, as only mothers seemingly can. I no longer shy away from spit, vomit, or digging various foreign objects out of little noses and mouths. My days consist of helping tiny humans, my tiny humans, grow, change, and discover.

Every single day involves a great deal of chaos, no matter what. Dirty diapers? Probably hundreds in the various garbages around the house. Countless tears? Good thing I can never say no to baby snuggles. Extensive messes? Considering the amount of madness that plagues the house “in the name of science,” perpetual cleanliness hasn’t been a priority for a long time.  

In hindsight, I really should have known that my children would give me a run for my money. After all, their father has three PhD’s, two BA’s, endless compassion, and enough strong-willed energy to survive prison for months. Nothing breeds pure mayhem like that combination.

And yet, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Truly, deeply, sincerely, being their mother is full of countless blessings each and every day, even if the blessings are hidden in the midst of sickness, meltdowns, and pure exhaustion.

Today was one of the difficult days.

7:56pm

By the way Grayson insistently screamed (an all too common occurrence), I often wondered if he would blow out his vocal chords before he even had a chance to speak his first word. At the current moment, he sat in his high chair looking absolutely miserable. His cheeks were stained red from the heavy tears rolling down his tiny face. Normally he would be asleep by now, but this day had other plans.

Ava sat in her desk chair in the living room, silent tears rolling, sulking over the confiscation of her favorite book. The contents of her desk had been swept all over the living room with as much rage as her tiny body could muster. That day, she had talked back to a teacher at school. She was far too smart and curious for her own good. Though I knew in my heart she probably meant the correction out of the goodness of her heart, teaching her proper social skills was also one of my top priorities. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to her in school the same way it did to her father.

Her father. My person. My best friend and partner in crime.

He would be home any second, and I would finally have a single moment of relief from this day. For though Spencer spent countless hours invested in his job, he was an excellent team player, and fantastic father.

And in this moment, I needed my teammate.

8:00pm

Get to the bathroom. Solace from the storm. Get to the bathroom.

As I shut the door behind me, I started my mental timer. 30 seconds of peace. 30 seconds of alone time. 30 seconds to get it together before going back out to tame the madness.

I never thought I’d be able to drown out the sound of both of my small children sobbing, but this day had been full of surprises.

With shaky hands, I turned on the faucet and leaned down to splash the cool water in my face. It was refreshing, but not enough.

The bags under my eyes were more prominent than usual today. Great.

8:01pm

Grayson’s incessant wailing brought me back to the present.

Spencer will be home any minute. Any second now.

I can do this.

I threw open the door and went to my son first. His face was littered with tears, still crying as loud as ever. As I approached, he reached for me.

Oh, my sweet boy. He needed to be held. He needed to be needed.

I lifted him up and he immediately laid his head on my shoulder, still sobbing. His forehead was burning up. Go figure.

I need to take Gray’s temperature. Add that to the list.

“Ava, honey.” I tried so desperately to get her to look at me, but she was nothing if not stubborn.

“I want Daddy.” Her response was not surprising, but stung nonetheless.

Spencer always knew how to console Ava. They understood each other on some different plane of existence. As much as I loved that about them, now was not a good time for her to be shutting me out.

Okay, focus. Take Gray’s temperature.

As I shuffled through the contents of the bathroom closet with one hand, Grayson’s cries barely ceased. Finally, I felt the all-too-familiar thermometer box toward the back.

Rushing back out into the kitchen, I quickly opened the box and stuck the thermometer in Gray’s ear, much to his dismay.

Ava sat in the same spot, silent tears still rolling, misery evident in her features. Nevertheless, I knew I needed to focus on my sicker baby first.

“Ava, please clean up your mess before dad gets home.” I called to her, over my shoulder.

“Mama, maybe think about my unwillingness to follow your orders next time you take away my source of happiness.”

Ava didn’t move a muscle as she spat her response back to me. I thought the previous answer had stung, but this one cut deep.

However, with a sobbing, fever baby on my hip and a heaping sense of exhaustion, I was forced to let it go immediately.

Even with Grayson’s protests, the thermometer’s iconic beep sounded and the screen lit up with more digits than I would’ve liked to see.

100.5, no wonder he was so upset.

I was running out of steam. I needed backup. Turning to see the clock on the stove, I was surprised at how late it had seemingly gotten.

8:20pm

Where the hell is Spencer?

As if on cue, the phone started to ring.

“Hey.” I breathed into the phone, longing for my favorite voice.

“Hi, y/n? It’s Penelope!”

My heart sank. Though Penelope’s voice could always put me in a better mood, hers was not the voice I wanted to hear at the moment.

“Hi Penelope. I’m assuming my husband will be staying late tonight?”

“I’m really sorry, y/n. The whole team is really backed up on paperwork. He asked me to call you so he could finish faster and wouldn’t get distracted.”

I smiled at the classic Spencer gesture, but it didn’t stop the tears brewing in my eyes. I needed him. I so desperately needed him.

“No worries. Can you please tell him to call me when he’s on his way back?” My voice betrayed me, cracking at the very last moment.

“Oh no…” Penelope started, her voice ever so compassionate and understanding.

“No, I’m fine! Really, I’m okay. It’s just been a long day over here.” I attempted a chuckle, but there was absolutely no way Penelope bought it.

“I’m going to put him on-”

“No! Don’t do that.” My heart was screaming to hear his voice, but I rationally knew the FBI needed him more than I did in the moment. He saves lives, I hold down our fort. That’s how this works.

“Are you sure?” Penelope’s concerned tone made my heart lift a bit. I missed the BAU team. It was rare that I was able to see them these days.

“Yes. You need his big, beautiful mind over there more than I do here.”

Grayson chose that moment to let out his loudest wail yet. I would be surprised if the whole BAU didn’t hear it coming from Penelope’s phone.

“Listen, I have to go. Give everyone my love. Bye!” I stuttered out before abruptly ending the call.

My silent tears now matched my daughter’s. This was going to be a long night.

8:45pm

The lukewarm water filled the sink, and the screaming baby on my hip seemingly never ran out of motivation to cry.

Ava still sat in her same spot in the living room, arms crossed, furrowed brow that so closely resembled her father, and head down deep in thought.

“Ava, honey. Can you please help me?” My voice cracked again.

She heard it, she understood.

Guilty could not begin to encompass the feeling in my heart as she wordlessly padded to the bathroom to retrieve a towel without being asked. She was like Spencer in that way, somehow always knowing what I need before I do.

She was just a baby too. She was only five. It was absolutely unfair for me to be brushing away her feelings like this. Gray was physically sick and in need of immediate attention, but Ava was in emotional need. She was also like Spencer in the bottling of her feelings. She needed me, and I couldn’t be there for her.

“Thank you, baby.” Someday she won’t let me call her that anymore, but I was thankful that day was not today.

I looked into her golden eyes and saw her understanding in the midst of her pain. She shouldn’t have to fight for my attention. Without another word, she handed me the towel and turned around before silently padding to her room.

Grayson calmed down slightly when I set him into the sink full of water. It made my heart lift, but only momentarily.

If only I could bilocate. If only I could be enough for both of my babies at once. If only…

The opening of the front door pulled me from my thoughts. Keeping both hands on Gray, I quickly turned to see who could possibly be stopping by at this hour.

My knees nearly buckled at the sight of Spencer, a whole new wave of tears overcoming me as he shed his messenger bag and coat and rushed over.

No words were necessary. I loved that about us.

He pressed a brief, gentle kiss on my lips when he reached us. He knew how badly I needed to be held, but he also knew that it had to wait.

His eyes asked where he was needed.

Ava or Gray?

My best friend. My angel. Oh, how I love him.

“Can you finish up here?”

He nodded, immediately taking our baby out of my hands, all the while making faces at and talking to Grayson as he blubbered in the sink.

“100.5.”

“Got it. Go get her.”

There are no words that could ever amount to how much I love him.

Sweet Ava needed my focus now, and 1,000 pounds of weight had just been lifted off my shoulders.

Ava’s door was open, and I slowly entered. She was laying in her bed facing away from me, quiet sobs wracking her body.

My sweet, sensitive, empathetic girl. She shoved it down so I wouldn’t have to deal with her emotions in the face of my own stress. No more.

“Ava?”

Her sniffles subsided, but she still faced away from me. I silently walked over to sit next to her on her bed, reaching a hand out to rub her back. Surprisingly, she let me.

“I’m sorry, sweet girl.”

A new wave of tears came over her as she slowly turned to face me. Her red, tear stained cheeks seemed to get puffier every time I looked at her. Her eyes met mine for a split second before darting to the ground. She was still emotionally keeping her distance, just like her father.

Lucky for me, I knew exactly how to make her father feel better.

Wordlessly, I opened my arms, offering myself to Ava.

For a moment, she looked as if she was going to turn away from me again, and I felt my heart contract. But then, in true Ava fashion, her beautiful eyes filled with tears once more and she crawled into the embrace.

Before I knew it, her small arms were curled around me and her head laid on my chest, letting out the stress of the day in large, heaving sobs.

“I didn’t mean to.” She stuttered out.

“I know.” I whispered as I rocked my girl, much like I had when she was so much smaller.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Until her breathing regulated and her sniffles subsided once more. We stayed like that for a while, just holding, breathing, and healing.

“I was just trying to make sure Miss Sarah was giving us the right information.” She said softly into my chest. My heart nearly exploded.

“I know Ava. I know. Maybe next time we could phrase it a bit kinder though, right?”

Her head lifted so she could meet my eyes, sass and defensiveness all over her face. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for her sassy retort to further make my point. Her eyes narrowed, eyebrows dancing as she sank deep in thought.

Sometimes the amount of Spencer I saw in her was a bit scary.

Ava let out a deep breath, letting her head fall back to my chest and snuggling in once again.

“I could definitely find a kinder way to say it next time.”

The smile that lit up my face couldn’t be stopped.

“I love you, my girl.”

“I love you too Mama.”

-------------------------------------

10:06pm

I thought I knew what it meant to be tired.

I didn’t. Not until today. Not until the walk back to my bedroom from Ava’s.

The bedroom door squeaked a bit as it opened, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to care in the moment… as long as it didn’t wake up either of the babies.

Spencer was pulling on one of his old t-shirts as I passed, heading to change into my own set of ratty pajamas.

We went through our separate night routines like zombies, only breaking out of the trance when our tired eyes finally, finally met.

There is nothing normal about us. There is no possible way to look at each other after a day like this and say ‘hi honey! How was your day?’ like normal couples do.

But, in the midst of the literal insanity, I was reminded that those amber eyes were my rock. This home, our family, was built on the most solid foundation. Nothing and no one could ever take that from us.

And so, I took a deep breath and walked straight into my husband's open arms, holding tighter than I ever thought possible. My hands clutched his shirt like a lifeline, and his settled on my back so meaningfully I could’ve lost it all over again right then and there.

But I didn’t. I held it together, because this was my first moment with him all day and I was not going to taint it right off the bat.

I pulled away slightly, letting my hands wander to cup his face and smile, reveling in his neverending beauty.

“How did you get Grayson to go down?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“I started reciting Tolstoy in the original Russian.” He tiredly smirked, exhausted eyes barely staying open.

For the first time that day, I laughed.

The joke wasn’t that funny, but it sure was at that moment.

We laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more.

I laughed so hard that the tears couldn’t stay back any longer, so they came.

Before we knew it, his nightshirt was full of snot and tears, and the ugly sobs just wouldn’t stop. He held me through it, rubbing my back as the tears kept flowing. His hand made its way to my hair, holding me even closer. I could feel wet drops hitting the top of my head. He was crying too.

My person. My best friend and partner in crime.

We had made it through this horrible day, and we had done it together.

After what felt like forever, we pulled away, wiping away stray tears and silently agreeing that if we stood any longer we’d probably pass out.

As we snuggled into bed, legs and hearts intertwined, everything seemed to be looking up.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Spencer quietly asked.

“They need you.” I sighed, snuggling further into his embrace.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t need me too.”

I pulled away to meet his eyes. His eyebrows danced in thought, just like his daughter.

“We agreed on you saving the world and me holding down the fort. I failed today.” My fingers raked through his hair as I voiced my disappointment. Spencer wasn’t having it.

“You didn’t fail. I heard my baby’s ‘sick cry’ and was all packed up even before you hung up on Garcia. Everyone understands. It’s really okay.”

I tried to snuggle into him again, but his hands caught my face, forcing my eyes to meet his.

“You can't be the parental superhero all the time. You have to give me a chance too.”

If I hadn’t cried out all my tears before, I probably would’ve started crying again.

“Watching you become a father is one of the greatest gifts of my life, you know that?”

The smile on his face lit up the dark room, and he pressed his forehead to mine. We snuggled in close, finally allowing sleep to overtake us.

“Y/n?” Spencer whispered.

“Mm?” I answered, barely awake.

“What did Ava say to Miss Sarah today to get her so upset?”

I stifled a laugh.

“Let’s just say it’s definitely something she heard from her father.”

#spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid hurt comfort

[princesscyr-fn]

Brothers x Autistic! MC Tidbits/Headcanons

I figured I’d do one as I’m autistic and I wanna be included in things. At the same time however, autism is a spectrum and each of us experience different behaviors and such. As such, each MC for each brother is different so everyone feels included! These are meant to be platonic but you can interpret this however you want. I’m asexual so writing actual romantic stuff makes me very uncomfortable lol.

|Masterlist is here|

MC is gender neutral, yall

Available on Ao3, Wattpad

Lucifer

♡ Clashing with one another from the get go. ♡ Lucifer tends to criticize you, and its mostly unintentional. He’s just looking out for you, though his pride prevents him from admitting that he cares about you. ♡ One day though, the usual comment that falls from his lips about you ends up making you snap. As a result, you are calling him every name under the blocked sun in the Devildom. (Satan LOVES this.) This is when Lucifer realizes he made a fucky wucky. (Thanks @error-code-606 lmao) ♡ Lucifer gets a super harsh reality check from Satan, reminding him that you are autistic and that constant put-downs is bad for a persons self-esteem/image issues. For once, pride feels guilt bubbling in his gut. ♡ From then on, Lucifer is more mindful of how he words his issues with you. (Still staying blunt, which you appreciate.) All the while he praises you from time to time for all the good stuff you’ve done thus far. ♡ Lucifer would keep mental notes of all your stims and triggers. ♡ Entertains stim toys and isn’t bothered by such as he tries to work. ♡ Lucifer would play soothing music for you, mostly classical or easy listening. Something to tingle your sensory. ♡ He stops your meltdowns before you could fully lose control of yourself. ♡ Soft hands are your weakness and Lucifer’s hands don’t disappoint. He’ll let you hold his hands anytime you desire. ♡ Lucifer's office is the best spot for you to have quiet time. ♡ You can talk his ear off and he would love every second of it, deep down.

Mammon

♡ He was quick to pick up on your behaviors before you could push him away. ♡ He is able to joke with you, both of you laughing like hyenas all the way. ♡ Mammon would never make fun of your stutter or mispronunciation of words. He’s patient and tries his best to help you. He absolutely hates when the other demons (not his brothers) make fun of you for something you have no control over. ♡ Both of you would find comfort in each other. ♡ You would absolutely adore his hair. Being a fan of bright colors and his hair being as white as angel wings. Bless his heart, he will allow you to play with it while denying how much he likes it. ♡ He knows the sound of coins is one of your favorite sounds sensory wise. He always makes sure to have some coins on him. ♡ Mammon would remember all of your fixations and then try to shower you in gifts relevant to your current likes. ♡ He loves music and will sing with you no matter how goofy you both sound. ♡ Late night Hell’s Kitchen runs are mandatory. ♡ You are the only person he would try so hard not to steal from. (He’d fail miserably and just keep your stuff instead of selling it.) ♡ Class would be hilarious with him, he’s a class clown. ♡ While he may be a class clown, I think he would somewhat try a bit harder on his work because you encourage him to do his best every single day.

Leviathan

♡ Things between the two of you are tense at first as both of you are socially awkward and standoffish. ♡ Though once you’re both comfortable, you will talk each others ears off about anime, video games, and everything under the blocked sun of the Devildom. ♡ You two will develop a secret language that the other brothers won’t understand. Imagine all that shit talk. ♡ You’re both stimmers! While Levi has physical and vocal stims, yours are mostly vocal with the occasional twitch and thigh slap. ♡ You both are major plushie enthusiasts. Prove me wrong. (You can’t.) ♡ Eye contact is difficult to maintain between the two of you, with both of you either yelping, blushing, and looking away while sputtering nonsense. ♡ Mention your love or interest in aquatic life or the sea and watch him fall in love with you, (he’s a sea monster, duh) though he will deny it smh. ♡ You both share a love for slime and will buy a lo of it on your trips to the human world. (When you two feel like doing things like that.) ♡ Levi will most certainly dress as a cat maid so long as you do it too. ♡ Stim games are 100% your favorite games to play with him. (Minecraft, Terraria, Fortnite, No Mans Sky...) ♡ Levi figures out that the sound of the ocean soothes you, and will imitate the sounds in his fish tanks to help you relax. ♡ You two make the best cosplay duo. No question about it.

Satan

♡ He is more understanding than you were led to believe. (Shame on you, Lucifer.) You avoided him at first until you found yourself in a heated debate with him regarding human world fauna kingdom. This conversation, though heated, gave you the chance to actually talk to him. It was then the realization hit that Lucifer intentionally kept you two apart. ♡ You two end up becoming close friends. ♡ You hate reading alone as its not engaging and gets boring quickly. So you tell Satan that you would like for him to read to you, which he’d accept without a second thought. ♡ He would remember your likes and dislikes. He would always encourage you to talk about your latest obsession. He’s always interested in hearing about what you have to say. ♡ Jingle cat ears. No explanation needed. (Might dress up as a cat maid with you and Levi, tho.) ♡ He would learn all your stims and triggers so he can help you when you need it. ♡ If you’re the artsy type, you bet he will learn all the crafts for you. ♡ The sound of turning pages satisfies your sound sensory. ♡ Nature walks, lots of them. Quiet moments together means the world to the two of you. ♡ Occasionally you fall asleep next to him as he reads to you. His voice is soothing enough to lull you to sleep. ♡ You two are so close in fact, he rubs it in Lucifer's face. ♡ Satan always finds himself holding your hand whenever you two go out to crowded public places.

Asmodeus

♡ Physical contact wasn’t your thing until you met the avatar of lust. ♡ He took it personally at first when you would stand awkwardly whenever he hugged you or how you would pull your hand away when he would try to hold it. ♡ Once you explain that you are autistic and physical contact was a weird subject for you, he is quick to understand. After all, he is all about consent and wanted to make sure you were comfortable. ♡ Friendship blossoms between the two of you quickly and smoothly. ♡ Asmo would help you with being more extroverted by inviting you to parties. ♡ He would make note of your stims and to satisfy your sensory, he would buy lotions and perfumes. ♡ Getting your nails done is fun and Asmo is perfect for that task. ♡ You have a best friend who will listen to you intently and give you good advice. ♡ Going shopping is less nerve wracking with him. Plus he would give you fashion tips so you can look and feel your best. ♡ The first time you gave him a hug on your own, he wept tears of joy. ♡ Spa days are mandatory. ♡ There is a love between the two of you that does not require a relationship to be valid.

Beelzebub

♡ Beel warmed up to you quickly, especially when he witnesses your appetite at dinner. ♡ He is always curious and asking you questions to better understand you. ♡ You are quick to share your food with him and vice versa. ♡ Eating competitions, though you would lose to him always, unless if he was going easy on you. (Good luck, chief) ♡ Playful and friendly flirting/banter. ♡ Beel would be interested in whatever you obsess with that week. ♡ He is patient with you and doesn’t judge you for things you have no control over. ♡ Includes you in all family activities because hes all about family first. ♡ You two will gush to each other about any and everything. ♡ Hell’s Kitchen dates? Fuck yeah. Those are mandatory. ♡ Though you are picky in terms of texture, Beel would gladly eat whatever food you won’t. ♡ You aren’t a very active person, but that will change with Beel. Eat first, then run it off, human.

Belphegor:

♡ Warmed up to you quickly despite killing you, mainly because you forgave him and still treated him with kindness despite the fact. (Simp *cough* *cough*) ♡ He is very understanding in regards to your sensory, stims, and meltdowns. ♡ Loves laying in silence with you (and vice versa) ♡ Belphie would show you constellations with his magic to help you sleep. ♡ Slime? You bet Belphie would be as entertained as you are on that subject. Cloud slime would be one of his favorites. ♡ You two communicate with each other better in silence. ♡ He would share his cow pillow with you. ♡ Your sensory craves anything that is soft. Belphie would be surprised at first when you mindlessly play with his hair as you lay together. ♡ Your troubling dreams became a little more peaceful with Belphie at your side. ♡ Both of you are big plushie enthusiasts and have a plushie club hangout spot with Levi. ♡ Belphies voice does satisfy your sensory. ♡ Tea time is a fun activity between the two of you. It leads to good naps as well.

#obey me #Shall We Date? Obey Me! #obey me! #obey me one master to rule them all #lucifer obey me #mammon obey me #leviathan obey me #satan obey me #asmodeus obey me #beelzebub obey me #belphegor obey me #shall we date? #headcanons #autistic headcanons #hc #anime headcanons #anime #otome #dating sim #demons #autism mention #imagines #wattpad #archive of our own #ao3 #main character #gender neutral

[celestialholz]

Q thoughts (head empty)

Okay, first of all: MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER EVER IN ALL OF FICTION IS BACK AFTER THIRTY YEARS, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *clears throat*

Ahem. But yeah, let’s break this trailer and interview down with some Celestial thoughts!

Things I am excited for:

- Modern Q, obviously. Here is a character who we’ve experienced in brief bursts as antagonistic but benevolent; amusing but sombre; enigmatic yet becoming more and more human-like with every appearance. The continuation of that potential is scintillating - we could be presented with a Q on a specific mission, one that’s here mostly for the banter, or a wrecked and embittered being who just desperately wants to reconnect after a civil war he was never supposed to have, or it could be all fucking three and none of them. Naturally, he needs to have a purpose, and as Picard has been in character terms, he needs to be nailed. We need a Q decisively post-AGT, but given Patrick’s exec-producing and the doubt I have that John would ever join if he felt they weren’t doing him justice, I have faith in this. Just... don’t give me a bloody deus ex machina without a point, for the love of the Continuum. Lower Decks is hardly my show, but if we get that manner of Q appearance, we may as well not bother.

What excites me specifically here is that Q apparently appears at a ‘shattering’ moment, which bodes very well as a concept; I’m hoping for some wild electronic shutdown from android!Picard, personally! More on this later...

- Qcard. Naturally. Now, I’m not suggesting Qcard is about to be canon, however hard they’re baiting us with Q literally being on a card (are you fucking kidding me guys, seriously), but... we now live in a blessed era where Q can be the eccentric, flamboyant gay he’s always been. We can have a Q who admit his feelings at last, and we can have a Picard that can accept that and potentially reciprocate - and sure, some people will be butthurt, but some people can also fuck off and get with the times. Am I expecting them to stand there on an asteroid belt and snog? Absolutely not, though we can but hope; honestly, I’d be delighted by some form of acknowledgement, and them swanning off into eternity together, Picard’s burdens finally laid down and his spirit free to be the adventurer it’s always been. Think of the goddamn fics I could write off THAT, my god...

But really, I’ve said this before: Picard is a little darker now, older in age and soul, slightly bitter. Q has presumably been through his civil war, and thus is probably darker, older in age and soul, more bitter than before. Coupled with the genuine beginnings of friendship they’d forged by AGT... whether or not they take that in a romantic direction, it could be a truly unique and meaningful companionship for the ages from two people remarkably similar despite their immense differences, and I’m absolutely here for that. <3

- Has this man forgotten Tapestry? “Time offers so many opportunities, but never second chances,” he says as the card with a heart and a Q on melts away. Poor memory there, Jean-Luc? Do androids still have to deal with Irumodic Syndrome? *shakes head*

- Picard. Here’s a chap who has turned full Data, for all intents and purposes; that’s got to be fucking him up in fairly short order, but I’m especially intrigued by two specific prospects: firstly that he’s going to go into full meltdown as an exemplar of humanity, but secondly... the Q fear humanity to a degree, as they’re meant to surpass them... and ‘the trial never ends’... is that what we’re doing here, advancing humanity to get nearer to that? Because if so, wow. Holy shit. That’s a hell of a reason why Q might be fascinated by him, especially after the Continuum’s war...

- Graphics. A minor point, but STP looks amazing, and the omnipotence of old did not. I’m impressed enough at the particle-vanishing effect of the card - the presence of de Lancie, coupled with the Hollywood-beautiful SFX of this series? Christ, that’s going to be spectacular.

- Time and again. The time angle of this new series intrigues me no end, and there are SO many things they could do with this. I am fervently hoping we don’t rewrite TNG canon to any real degree, but... damn, the opportunities. We could see child Picard, a Trials and Tribble-ations-style insert, any manner of exciting fuckery. I don’t even have any theory-based thoughts right now because we know nothing, but the concept’s thrilling!

- Dream a little dream of me? Two possibilities, given the opening poker scene of series one, and that we now know what the card officially meant (not that I didn’t call that/write a fic on it over a year ago, but still): either Q’s stuck himself into that dream as foreshadowing, or... Picard’s stuck Q in his own dream because he’s been thinking about him. I’m genuinely not sure which is more gay, though I’m privately hoping for the latter...

... I have so many thoughts, and it’s half eleven at night. Please feel free to elaborate on anything missing/very gay, thanks in advance xxxx (P.S. ‘You know that ‘shattering’ thing, celestial - ‘ oh yeah, don’t worry fam, I gotchu. Fic in progress. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA x10) @q-card @bowie-star-trekking hmu cheers dears x

#star trek: picard #star trek: picard s2 #q #john de lancie #jean-luc picard #patrick stewart #hello yes thanks please kill me #MON CAPITAINE HE'S BAAAAACK #fucking god I am so stoked #qcard #give me the canon qcard paramount love youuuuuu

[footballxwrites]

“ this is not the man I fell in love with, not the man I married” with Mason Mount because he’s just been super busy w Chelsea since the start of the season and even more now cos of the new coach coming. That’s all well and good, you completely understand that and love him for it but he’d come him later from the ground, so you’d not eat together, not cool together on weekends, date nights went out do the window, and you guys had even decided to have a baby and you’d marked the days you were ovulating on the kitchen calendar but he’d stayed over at Dec’s cos boys night or whatever so that was done for. You realise enoughs enough and talk to him about it which leads to a huge argument and you say “ this is not the man I fell in love with, not the man I married” to him. You just avoid him at home for the rest of the day and he’s just in his game room thinking where he went wrong and how crap of a husband he’s been for the past few months, not even weeks and you’d just take it. Please make it a cute ending ❤️

You’re not the man I married ♡

𝖠𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖨 𝗈𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗀𝗈𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒 😅, 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒!

All the memories began replaying in your mind, thinking all the way back to the start when yous were just two daft eighteen year olds who were young and in love without a care in the world, free to do whatever you fancied and no responsibilities of adult hood. Then to when you went on your first holiday together, supporting him at his first pro match, the weekly dates he took you on and the unexpected romantic gestures he made...it all seemed a dream compared to now. All you could picture were your Uni days when he’d make the two hour drive just to come and see you in between matches and then you’d always travel down and make sure you were there, in the stands wearing his famous jersey and cheering his name. Even the days after when you went on to graduate and get a degree before moving down London to live with him at the grand age of 21 where the two of you began your lives with one another, both with your dream jobs and house and the perfect little things on the side...honestly you missed those days right now and couldn’t help but wish to go back in time.

————————————————

Tears were on the verge of flowing down your cheeks as you stared down at the diamond on your finger, reminiscing of the five years of waking up in each other’s arms every morning, having a laugh together on the daily, going on the weekly date nights, being blessed enough to have a few luxury holidays, the list goes on. At the minute you were asking yourself why he actually put a ring on it because he couldn’t be less of a husband to you, the never being home or finding a way to stay out started to get to you. The fact you rarely saw him, your own husband, had really started to become a worry, eating alone on a night, going to bed without him beside you, never seeing him on the weekends and your days off...you just didn’t know how much more you could take.

You understood that he was busy, I mean why wouldn’t he be with a new manager around and then training his arse off to get into the Euro squad but it was just like he was constantly on the go and never spared a minute for you and to be fair you had been quite nice about it, of course knowing how much his career means to him and obviously wanting him to do well and go far however you finally decided enough was enough and the two of you needed to have it out with each other.

————————————————

“Can we talk” you sighed, strolling into the kitchen as you caught him shoving on his coat and bag, “no I can’t stop, gonna be late for training” he yawned as you slammed the cup down on the counter, “wow well there’s a surprise” you sarcastically laughed gaining a confused look from your so called man, “and what’s that supposed to mean” he mumbled with an eye roll. “I don’t know, maybe the fact you’re never in this fucking house for more than five minutes these days!” You began in a raised voice, all hopes of staying calm going out the window, “right yeah whatever sorry I have a job to go to” he argued as you stood looking him dead in the eye, half wanting to chuck a nice punch across his jaw.

“Mace I never see you anymore, look all I’m saying is it might be nice to spend some time with my husband I don’t think it’s too much to ask for“ you stated, rubbing at your tired eyes hoping you wouldn’t have a meltdown in the middle of your kitchen. “And you do see me, on a night when I get back, what more do you want from me I can’t help that I’m busy during the day” he said, emotionless whilst pacing around the kitchen, “Except I haven’t seen you for the last two nights, one because you were away at Newcastle which is fair enough but tell me why the fuck you went round and slept at Dec’s yesterday and didn’t bother to mention it to me” you ranted, feeling your cheeks heat up with anger.

“If it wasn’t for Lauren phoning me i wouldn’t have had the slightest clue in where about you were” you continued as he finally stopped running back and forth like a headless chicken, “he had the lads over for FIFAand it just slipped my mind, I did mean to tell you I swear and I’m sorry” he admitted sounding sincere, holding his hands up in defeat. “And I guess it totally ‘slipped your mind’ that we’re trying for a baby too?” You stammered with a croaky voice, feeling the tears form in your eyes as you heard a faint “shit” come from him before a deep sigh, “we’ll just try again next month, yeah?” he softly spoke, attempting to bring you into a hug as you dodged his touch. “Fuck you Mason Mount, you’re not the man I fell in love with and married anymore” you cried, storming up the stairs, not arsed with arguing with him anymore seeing as it was clear he wasn’t bothered about you and your feelings, “hope you have the time of your fucking life at training, stay out as long as please” were your last sobbed words to him before shutting yourself away in your bedroom.

—————————————————

The whole day he felt guilty for, well everything really, he didn’t realise just how much he wasn’t around anymore but more importantly he didn’t notice the impact it was having on you and by god if he knew you were feeling like this he would’ve sorted it out within a flash. The moment he got through the front door, he went searching for you knowing you were here as you had called sick to work and not a minute later he’d found you curled up on the sofa, still sobbing whilst gazing at tv. Your eyes were puffy from crying and no evidence of a smile was on your lips, just sadness in all your features, your tear stained cheeks rosy red and nose stuffy. Without a second thought, he walked and placed himself next to you, wrapping his arms comfortably around you as you rested your head on his chest, too exhausted to have another go at him. “Sorry doesn’t even cut it but, I will make this right” he whispered, stroking your hair as you turned to face him, “I was being a selfish bastard and had no idea you were feeling like this and it’s completely my fault and I swear I’m gonna change it, everything, so I have time for my gorgeous wife” he smiled as you let out a mumbled “ok”.

“And I do want to start a family with you, more than anything because you’re going to be the best mum our baby can wish for” he grinned, gaining a small laugh from you, your heart warming at the thought of having a mini Mount around the place, “me too, you’ll be an amazing dad” you replied leaning up to put a little peck on his lips, “you’re forgiven but promise you mean it, you’ll spend more time here” you said, holding out your pinky as he giggled, “pinky promise I’ll be here to wake up to every morning again” as he linked his finger around yours. “I love you wifey, always and forever” he gushed as you flipped him over so you were straddling him before getting caught up in the heated moment ❤️

@alexajanecollins @kingkepa

#football #footballer #football blurb #footballer imagine #mason mount #chelsea fc

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch3 reread u know the drill

what is Jamie doing with all this oil I am concerned

god the tension of knowing Jamie is there but not talking to her but Dani probably secretly hoping she will

aww is she picking up more wonder woman comics for mikey?? cute

gah I love that they slip back into playful banter so easily despite everything going on

also 10/10 that the gays in town would be trying on the tackiest sunglasses in the service station (and 12/10 that Jamie actually brought them)

Dani Carson car adventures!! i would read a whole 20k word chapter just on that

sdfkjdshjfhd Dani throwing herself to the ground when she sees Jamie in the supermarket I’m losing it

“Yeah and then she left” ouch

THREE GAYS IN A SUPERMARKET WHAT WILL HAPPEN

aww Jamie Carson reunion tooooo cute

oh my god the tension of them standing back to back trying not to touch lmao

Jamie rly is the teeniest in town huh

Dani getting all protective and mad over Mikey having to sit outside school is v sweet

Jamie to the rescue how cute

Jamie’s collarbone: hello. Dani’s gay panic: LOOK AWAY

also sdkjfhdkjhg Jamie working w her hands is so hot we need more fics just talking about her getting dirty. for the good of the nation

there is so much going on here the cute teasing Dani feeling all weird abt their whole dynamic jamie giving her looks the engagement ring I am not equipped to process all of it

“you think there are secrets in this town?” just ur burning love for each other ladies!

once again mechanic!jamie... i am compromised

aww Dani bby literally does not know what to do with herself. the juxtaposition of the depth of their relationship and the little moments of familiarity with the awkwardness of people who don’t really know each other properly anymore is so fucking well done here

Eddie’s “honey I’m home” moment carrying her over the threshold afkjhsdkjf good for him

Dani and this house got beef huh

Dani: sometimes things with Eddie just don’t feel right but I’m sure that’s fine. Dani when she loses a tiny piece of her relationship w Jamie: level 5 meltdown. Literally the theme of this fic is “honey you got a big storm comin” and I love it

this dig at pineapple on pizza........ offensive

“Instead, she reset her mask, pulled the rope to part the stage curtains, and tied the other end around her neck.” Jesus.

“the other part of Dani, the part that never knew how to stop missing Jamie” i will cryyyy

starting a gofundme for Dani’s car asap

Eddie putting the moves on I can’t look. but lmao when he finds a girl that’s actually into him and wants this kind of attention his whole world is gonne be rocked

can we get Dani some therapy pls this is not how u should feel abt the person ur gonna marry. or about yourself

*gasp* the wontons mixtape

hmmmm I’m Not in Love and A Case Of You really are a one-two punch huh

lol I just went to play them and I was apparently in the middle of listening to Stop Making This Hurt by The Bleachers which feels... apt

fuck. making a mixtape for someone truly is peak romance huh? music my beloved

hmmm i just realised that this timeline parallels the flashback chapters w a new Taylor in school in each how cool. and also Nan vs Jamie taking on responsibilities w these kids and stepping up for them in their own way pls my emotions

aahh the coffee date I kinda forgot how fast Dani made this relationship rekindle bless her

wait clara and horace does that mean abigail is in Dani’s class too??? she lives??

a reserved sign pls that’s so cute

OWEN! god I love the levity and banter w Jamie he brings to fics

there is just so much fondness between them it always shines through no matter what they’re talking about I love it

this backpacking chat... envisioning Dani n Jamie once Mikey is grown up going on a big tour of europe together n fufilling Dani’s dreams

the fact that Jamie was drawn back to this place... by what hmmmm ms taylor. by what

oof this really is a painful rehashing of the past huh.

“star hike” lmao

"I can fix it." "You can't." OUCH

ooft just rip the bandaid right off. “I missed you. Everyday.” god my heart

arguing in an alley behind the pharmacy that’s gay rights

"Because if it was going to end, then I wanted it over quickly!” jamie ‘everyone always leaves so I cut them off before they can hurt me‘ taylor everyone. I am not doing well

ok with the context of like... everything from the future chapters this scene hits even harder than the first time i read it jesus

still can’t get over Dani ‘trying not to recall the memories of the last time they were in this room together’ was Jamie absolutely falling to pieces in her arms *screams forever* i remember reading that line and imagning so many things it could have been and yet yall went for the ultimate stab to the heart bravo

god I’m just thinking about how much they’ve both changed in those 10 years and how much they’ve stayed the same and just. god the way they’re so drawn to each other still!!!! i can’t even comprehend

blue schrunchie cherished friend

i feel like there is a significance to the red door I cant place and all my brain will provide is “you, me, her” but polyamory adventures is probably not the direction this is going

Jamie like “want a tour of ur future home babe? lets go” (I do love how enchanted Dani is by all of it though)

gah I love Jamie and Mikey together soooo much

find u a person that eats all the foods u don’t like. pickle soulmates

heh “Miss Dani” poor Mikey is goin through it lolol

they are all so cute together i love this lil sunday afternoon family

“Dani kept her gaze fixed on Jamie for just a second longer, studying her profile” gay

there has been several mentions of Jamie’s unreadable/blank expressions this chapter and I can’t stop laughing at her losing her mind over how much she loves Dani and trying to keep it in check every time

THEY’RE FRIENDS AGAIN

AND THEY’RE HUGGING OH HAPPY DAYS

oooh the sandalwood cologne

idk why this Jamie Eddie handshake is making me laugh so much but I love them

Eddie pulling Dani in closer to himself when Jamie’s there..... he knows 

staying awake until 2am to finish rereading gay fanfiction... clownery (but fun!) goodnight

#bhah #silly time

[drwcn]

discordance!verse part 7: an interesting morning in jingshi, Lan Wangji is shameless, much to the shock of Wei Wuxian. rated M??T??

in which wwx is lxc’s husband through political alliance, and there is an affair. 

[8] | [7] | [6] | [5] | [4] | [3] | [2] | [1] [synopsis] OR

see [discau tag] or [discordance navigation page] for all installments  

(~10 days before part 5/6)

Wei Wuxian wakes up slowly, warm and comfortable. The first thing he sees is the green bamboo shoots past the white tulle curtains, just outside the window, and the droplet of dew glistening under the morning sun. It had rained some time during the early hours; he recalls drifting to sleep listening to the muffled pitter-patter against Jingshi's roof, Lan Zhan curled at his side…

Lan Zhan is still there, fast asleep, as though he hasn't moved an inch all night. He is pressed against Wei Wuxian's shoulder, one arm thrown across his chest, every even breath a gentle breeze across his neck.

Even in sleep, Lan Zhan is a vision. That peerless face which others find cold and intimidating, is relaxed and open. Thick lashes kiss pink flushed cheeks. Soft full lips part minutely, still a bit swollen. Long silk hair runs like ink between Wei Wuxian's fingers.

He releases a soft affectionate huff, pulling the covers more securely around them both. Wei Wuxian closes his eyes, ready to indulge in sleep for another couple more hours. He doesn't know why they don't do this more often, it's so nice…

Wait!

His eyes snap open, all thoughts of sleep vanishing instantly.

Fuck! We slept in!

There's a very good reason why he and Lan Zhan never wake up warm, coddled together in a patch of morning sun like two aristocratic cats: it's because Cloud Recesses' rules are fucking nightmares - and also because he and Lan Zhan are technically, technically in an illicit affair - but mostly because of Cloud Recesses’ rules. Lan Zhan always has to get up at a quarter before mao-shi to sneak back to hanshi so he could continue the charade of having woken up in the bed he definitely didn't sleep in.

Judging by the angle of sunlight spilling into the room, it must be at least si-shi by now, a whole two shichen later than when Lan Zhan is usually up and about…

Oh ffffffuuuck -

Dap, dap, dap!

There are three polite knocks at the door. A disciple's hesitant voice echoes from the other side.

"W-Wei-jun? Are you in there?"

He can hear the anxiety clearly in their tone. Because of course they must be frantic! Lan Zhan's secretarial disciple would've gone in to bring him his breakfast, like he does every morning, and discovered Hanguang-jun's bed and sheets as cold as ice and Lan Wangji himself nowhere to be found.

It's been at least four hours, Cloud Recesses must be having a full blown panic attack by now!!

Wei Wuxian jolts up from bed and is torn between feeling sorry and amazed when that exaggerated movement only manages to elicit an incoherent grumble from Lan Zhan.

Oblivious to Wei Wuxian's impending meltdown, Lan Wangji curls a little deeper into the covers, but does not wake up. 

No time to worry about that, Wei Wuxian yanks the covers over Lan Wangji's head to cover him and pads across the matted floor to the clothing rack. He can't answer the door even if he wants to; he's completely fucking naked.

Wei Wuxian is just about finished with the ties of his second layer of robes when the disciple speaks again,  

"Wei-jun?! Are you in there?! Many apologies for disturbing you…but - but it's urgent! Please, could you open the door?"

For the first time since the death of his husband, Wei Wuxian is glad for his widower status. As the previous Sect Master's yishu 遗属, it would be bad etiquette for lower disciples to barge into his private residence without invite. Not that any of them would be capable: the seal Wei Wuxian placed on the inside of the door last night is an invention of his own. He's confident that no more than a dozen cultivators of their time can break it without expending serious spiritual energy.

Thank goodness last-night-me had the foresight to do that…

Though, he does wonder why it's a bunch of disciples and not someone like Lan Qiren knocking on his door. His nerves calm by half a fraction. If they're coming to me, perhaps they haven't directed this particular issue to higher authorities. Probably doesn't want to give the grandpas an impromptu stroke by declaring Lan Zhan missing…

Wei Wuxian shrugs on his outer layer, and in the calmest, most put-upon voice he can manage, he answers, "What is it? I am feeling poorly this morning."

"Begging your pardon, Wei-jun, it's just…Hanguang-jun, uhm, we can't find Hanguang-jun."

Glancing behind his shoulder, Wei Wuxian winces as he sees Lan Wangji stirring, turning onto his back and shoving the covers out of the way.

"Ah, yes, Hanguang-jun," replies Wei Wuxian, channeling his inner Lan Qiren and attempting his most authoritative tone of voice. "Sect Master has informed me that he’s gone on a…a meditative trek. It's been some time since he's been able to cultivate in peace. He will be returning shortly. No need…no need to worry the Elders."

Through the thin walls, he hears a collective sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness. Forgive us for disturbing you, Wei-jun. If you're feeling unwell, should a healer be sent for -"

"No! No, that's quite alright. I'll be fine. Return to your studies. Do not dally." Wei Wuxian quickly dismisses the disciples. 

Ear pressed against the door, he listens to their footsteps walking away until he can't hear anything but the sparrows chirping in the woods. Letting out the breath he’s been holding anxiously in his chest, Wei Wuxian pads himself in relief.

Crisis averted.

When he turns around, Lan Wangji is sitting up in bed, staring dazedly at him.

"I slept in. It's very late, isn't it?"

The sight of him like that, blankets gathered at the waist, pale chest bared and hair unbound, immediately steals from Wei Wuxian the breath he’d only just been able to catch.

Hanguang-jun is truly the Light Bearer, he laments, mindless of the smile that overtakes him. Even the sun seems to be drawn to the good Lan Zhan. Streaming onto the bed from the window behind, morning sunlight enshrouds his entire being and condenses into a soft halo around him, as if to remind the world that this man is blessed by the gods.

Yet this god-chosen man, destined for immortality, has given himself over to Wei Wuxian last night, delivered into his hands, with pure trust and a small smile in the dark.

Wei Wuxian feels the back of his neck heat up from the memory. Get yourself together, Wei Wuxian, you flagrant degenerate, it’s practically midday. 

"Wei Ying, I…" Lan Wangji averts his eyes as Wei Wuxian takes a seat beside him, holding his clothes ready for him.

"Ah, Lan Zhan, don't be embarrassed." Wei Wuxian chuckles, reaching out to twirl a strand of Lan Wangji's hair around his finger teasingly. "So you slept in, happens to the best of us." 

Leaning forward and pecking a chaste kiss to his forehead, Wei Wuxian hands him his robes and says, "Alright, come on, let's get up. You have to work, and I have to assist my venerated Hanguang-jun. A bath and some breakfast - I told the disciples I'm not feeling my best, they'll probably send whatever I ask for. Nobody ever has to know our Sect Master was sleeping the morning away."

The tip of Lan Wangji's ears turns pink, but instead of accepting the garbs the other man holds out to him, he shifts closer and winds his arms around Wei Wuxian shamelessly. "Yes perhaps, but I am not entirely to blame."

This time, Wei Wuxian does blush. He draws his head back, aghast. "L-Lan Zhan! H-how could you say such a thing in broad daylight!

"Is it not so?" Lan Wangji rests his chin against his lover's shoulder and pivots his head almost accusingly.

Wei Wuxian sputters. Why you shameless little - you - I -

Memories from the night before come rushing back: Lan Zhan's earnest open face when he asked Wei Wuxian to indulge him, climbing onto his lap and whispering into his ear exactly what he wanted. Wei Wuxian is used to Lan Zhan taking charge. It’s been that way since the two of them became intimate. He’s thrilled, more than thrilled, to share those stolen moments with Lan Zhan. In fact, it always does funny wonderful things to him to see the disciplined Hanguang-jun let loose the way he does when they’re together.

But to have his Lan Zhan laying under him, arching and trembling and falling apart for him, his name uttered by those heavenly lips like an answer, a spell, a prayer…How does any reasonable man come back from that?

Oh my god…I - I deflowered the Second Jade of Gusu… Wei Wuxian realizes with a jolt, suddenly hot under the collar. It's not that the implication didn't occur to him yesterday, but the weight of his actions had not fully sunk in until now. It's probably not a coincidence that Lan Wangji, who has never overslept a day in his life, fails to keep to his rigid internal clock after Wei Wuxian spent most of the night having his ways with him.

When did they even go to actual sleep? It couldn't have been any time before midnight. Wei Ying, Wei Wuxian, you fool, you absolute idiot, how could you have done this?! You should've been more careful!!

…Lan Zhan had been so careful with me…

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji calls his name, arms still locked around him. "You told them I'd be gone for a while yet, yes?"

Wei Wuxian frowns, not sure where he's headed. "Yeah?"

Lan Wangji shuffles closer, one of his hands travelling across the front of Wei Wuxian's robes until he finds the knotted sash. Blinking innocently, he says without a shred of pretense, "I do not doubt your skills, but my memories of last night are a little vague. Perhaps you ought to demonstrate for me again, as a reminder?"

For a long, long moment, neither of them move, Lan Wangji's request apparently having shocked Wei Wuxian into petrified silence. He does nothing but stare back at him, so much so Lan Wangji begins to wonder if he went a little too far with the teasing. But then Wei Wuxian's expression shifts, something raw and hungry flashing across his face. The next moment, Lan Wangji is flipped over onto his front, the covers yanked off exposing his pale bare form, every inch a perfection. 

Lan Wangji shivers, more reactionary than actually cold. He can feel Wei Ying's gaze on him, heated and appreciative, and as much as he doesn't want to give him the satisfaction, he squirms under the scrutiny.

"Wei Y-"

But the weight of Wei Ying's body is suddenly flush against his back, and Lan Wangji notices with a start that while he is thoroughly bare, Wei Ying is mostly dressed and does not appear to be in any hurry to change that.

Does Wei Ying really intend to take him while fully clothed?! Somehow the thought doesn't bother him, not in the least. Rather, it spurs him on, sparking the desire that simmers just beneath his skin. 

His hair is swept to side; Lan Wangji groans as a pair of lips press a hot, open mouthed kiss against his neck behind one redden ear.

"One would think, Hanguang-jun, that requesting physical intimacy in the middle of the day counts for misbehaviour."

The needy kiss transforms into a sharp bite.

Lan Wangji suffocates a groan, shuddering as the kiss trails between his shoulder blades and lower. For a few minutes, all he can focus on is the touch of hands and lips and tongue mapping out the planes of his body and wringing from him wonderful pleasures that he would not otherwise so easily relinquish.

"As the once disciplinary officer of Cloud Recesses," continues Wei Ying, lifting Lan Zhan by the hips and pushing him onto his knees. "Please enlighten us the appropriate consequences."

Wei Ying sounds very much like a cat savouring its play time with its poor prey before devouring it alive. Although Lan Wangji would never admit it out loud even under duress, he can confess to himself in the safety of his mind that this fate is exactly what he wants.

The Wei Ying of last night was careful, gentle, and steadfast despite being nervous.That Wei Ying had held his hands, lacing their fingers together, and whispered sweet lovely things as he brought them to their heights and back. Lan Wangji wasn't lying when he said his memories were a bit fuzzy; the entire experience had been…a lot.

However, Wei Ying in the morning is a whole different beast, and Lan Zhan aches just imagining what waits ahead. He wants him, by god, he wants him.

"One would think, Wei-jun," Lan Wangji manages to grit out, "that as someone who holds the highest running record of punishments received during his guest disciple days, you would be more than acquainted with Cloud Recesses' method of discipl - ah!"

The cry is ripped from his throat before he could help it. Panting, Lan Wangji writhes against the sheets and marvels a little at just how readily he receives what Wei Ying gives him.

But Wei Ying's tone loses its playfulness right away. "Lan Zhan -" The hand that threads through his hair is light and the following kiss on his left shoulder is tender. "- are you - are you hurt? Was I -"

Perhaps that cry sounded more distressed than he actually was. Lan Wangji turns his head to meet Wei Ying's worried gaze and melts a little. Blood is roaring in his ears and he is hot all over, but the warm cocoon that envelops his heart has nothing to do with lust.

Wei Ying presses another soft, comforting kiss against the shell of his ear and then another against his temple. "Say something, should I stop?"

Stop?! If this endearing idiot even thinks about stopping now Lan Wangji will absolutely smack him out of pure frustration.  

Catching his breath, he pushes back against Wei Wuxian and is immensely satisfied when the other man shudders in response. Reveling in the knowledge that he is the only one to ever see Wei Ying this way, he does it again. This time, the hands gripping his deviant hips are no longer gentle.

"Are you going to make good on my punishments," challenges Lan Wangji, batting his lashes, infinitesimally coy. "Or were those merely empty threats?"

The speed at which Wei Ying's eyes darken with desire almost makes Lan Wangji regret his impertinence. But then he is being thrust forward without warning, the unexpected motion hitting that spot inside him that makes his toes curl and his vision go white, and he instantly regrets nothing.

"W-Wei Ying…"

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he is aware that he is being objectively loud, but it really isn't his fault. Who in their right mind would expect him to be silent when he is being railed into the bed like both their immortalities depended on it. He just hopes Wei Ying has the good sense to cast a silencing talisman (lucky for them, he did).

Lan Zhan moans into the sheets, his eyes rolling back. How on earth is he so wrecked so quickly?! What is Wei Ying doing to him? In this position, he is completely at his lover's mercy, but he doesn't want to fight it, not at all. Clutching the wooden headboard, Lan Wangji surrenders the last bit of his self-control and submerges under the waves of sensations and sounds and bliss.  

~

Lan Zhan is quiet afterwards, soaking in the bath Wei Wuxian prepared for him. Wei Wuxian wipes himself down perfunctorily, changes into fresh robes and then proceeds to meticulously tidy the bed. The sheets are…probably not salvageable. He'll have to burn them or bury them, because there's no way he can hand them over to the disciples on laundry duty in the state that they're in. Even he can't talk his way out of that one.

When he's sure there is no more incriminating evidence of their activities, Wei Wuxian rounds behind the screen to find Lan Zhan exactly where he'd left him.

Eyes closed, he looks so young. It's not fair how everything must fall to him now. Lan Zhan never complains, but he must be exhausted after all that's happened since the end of last year.

His heart squeezing tightly, Wei Wuxian picks up a wash cloth and sits down by the tub. Lovely eyes flutter open just as he runs the warm towel over the round of Lan Zhan's shoulder.

"Are you alright?" He asks softly, wiping a bit of dried spent from Lan Zhan's chin. "Was I too rough?"

The tip of Lan Zhan's ears turns pink again. He shakes his head, taking Wei Wuxian's hand and caresses his knuckles. "No, you were perfect."  

Still, something nags Wei Wuxian in the mind of his mind. Their hands still clasped together, he shifts closer and searches Lan Zhan's face. 

"Lan Zhan, what brought this on? Last night and this morning. You know I don't mind being the …uhm…" Blushing, he clears his throat, suddenly thin-skinned. Damn it, Wei Wuxian, get it together. "You know I don’t mind being the way we were before. Love it in fact, can't get enough of it even. I don't want you to think I expect you to - uhm - return the favour... as it were."

Lan Zhan's eyes are serious but also bright and earnest with understanding and intent. He thumbs the blush on Wei Wuxian's cheek, curling his fingers around his nape. 

"I'm yours now, Wei Ying." He says, voice hushed but resolve firm. "Do you understand? No more nonsense about finding me a proper husband, or a wife to bear me heirs, or any talk of that kind. Even if the Elders bar me from marrying you on the account of you being my brother's widower, I'm yours, and you're not allowed to abandon me. I won't have it."

"Lan Zhan..." The back of his throat grows unbearably tight. Wei Wuxian feels as though he could cry. He remembers their conversation back in Qishan when he saw Lan Zhan with little Wen Yuan and the ensuing row they had afterwards. It was perhaps the first and only time Lan Zhan lost his temper with him. He'd been so angry, so hurt, that Wei Ying would even suggest he should marry another.

Wei Wuxian, if you truly want me to be with someone else, then what, tell me, are we doing now?!

Wei Wuxian squeezes his hand, pressing a heartbroken kiss to his palm, then another, then another. He feels horrible with himself. How could he not realize earlier? Is this why Lan Zhan had been so insistent?

"Lan Zhan, my good Lan Zhan, you didn't have to - I won't leave you, Lan Zhan, I promised you, I won't. You have me, you'll always have me, you didn't have to -"

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji interrupts him, seeing his self-deprecating tendencies are once again leading him down the wrong line of thought. "I want you, want to be with you. Last night was not solely to drive home a point. Even if I did want to make a point, it would only be part of the reason, minimal at best, and certainly would not account for this morning.” 

Wei Wuxian blinks, swallowing thickly. "And the real reason?"

"Well, surely it's very telling." Lan Wangji inches closer. The angle of the round tub makes it awkward but he doesn't care. A smile playing at his lips, he whispers into the other man's ear and delights at the way Wei Ying pulls back with a scandalized cry.

"Lan Zhan!"

Wei Wuxian is sure that his entire face is on fire. Who would've thought the esteemed Hanguang-jun could be such a lethal combination of imaginative mind and dirty mouth?!

But Lan Wangji only chuckles, nuzzling his neck. "Thank you for being so obliging, Wei Ying. I hope I was not too much of a burden."

I’m going to cry, thinks Wei Wuxian, I’m actually going to cry. Inside his chest, his heart has swelled so incredibly that he feels it will burst any second. "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, my good Lan-er-gege," he chants, over and over, peppering the lightest and sweetest of kisses along Lan Wangji's face. "You can't say things like that without warning! My heart can't take it!"

"Mn,” Lan Wangji purrs.“You'll live."

"Lan Zhan, ah Lan Zhan, what am I going to do with you?" Wei Wuxian sighs,  holding the other man by the curve of his jaw and smiles that sunshine smile.

"Stuck with me, I'm afraid. Hasn't anyone told you?" Lan Zhan peers at him through hooded eyes. "Us Gusu Lans, we're rooks."

"Rooks?"

"Rooks mate for life."

At that, Wei Wuxian pulls Lan Wangji impossibly close and silences him with a deep, long kiss.

-

[part 8]

yishu 遗属 - family that is left behind through death. 

#discau #discordance #wangxian #cql #the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #*covers my face and runs* #corie fics #to quote #b99 #he's just a thirsty ass bitch desperate for attention #i just wanted some Soft(TM) and Steamy(TM) for our boys before shit inevitably goes to hell #as y'all clearly knows #in 10 days #it's gonna be angst again #LOL #i'm not sorry #but also i hope it's not ooc? #anyways this is as smutty as my writing gets #i hope it's not too cringe

[scandalousfemale]

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Kelce x Reader, Topper x Reader

“It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you,” the male protagonist in the movie told the female lead. You wanted to throw your laptop on the floor as you laughed, “ha!” As if he can hear you, “what a fool.” As if you can save him.

WC: 12,034

Warnings: Cursing, drinking, CHEATING, slight smut if you squint, hint at a fight (so blood), vomiting, this is a cheating/break up fic., it’s angst

A/N: I’ve been working on this fic for almost a month now and I’m so glad that I’m finally getting this to you all. Thank you for being patient. A special thank you to @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @millyelliot and @rafecameron for listening to me talk about this almost every single day for that long and every single thanks to Chloe, @rafecameron for helping me edit this document 22 pages document. You are a blessing. Without further ado, please, enjoy.

Heartbreak is something you’ve become very accustomed to these past three months. It all started when Kelce, your boyfriend of seven years, had started coming home later than usual. Which, to be fair, you didn’t think much of at first because there are endless possibilities for why he was late for dinners that he had never missed before. Maybe he was talking with his coworkers after work, you offered, or maybe he had extra work to do. Though there were feelings of speculation in the pit of your stomach when he’d come home and not even look at you before rushing into the shower. That was also new. Yet you made excuses for him then, too. Actually, forcing yourself to be grateful that maybe he wanted to clean himself up for you. Even though your armor was cracking, you believed yourself every time.

One morning though, he was in such a rush to leave to work that he had forgotten his phone at home. Being the good fiancée that you were, you had decided that maybe this rut that you’ve hit in this relationship was somehow your fault. You had begun doing a lot less for him so you couldn’t fully put the blame on him, you thought. One of the things you never did anymore was pack his lunch. So, since you’re dropping off his cellphone anyway, you’ve decided that you were going to pack him up lunch and made your way to your father’s company to maybe give Kelce a little of your own company.

On the way to the office, his phone started beeping, signaling the arrival of new messages. You will yourself not to look at them because that’s not you. You had never had to snoop into his private belongings before. You’d also never, ever checked his phone. But...just once maybe it wouldn’t hurt. It could’ve been something important to do with his family that maybe you’d be able to help if you got to the messages first. Yes, that’s exactly it. When you arrived at the parking lot of his workplace, you’d already talked yourself into opening the messages.

Olive Garden (4)

The screen read and your nerves washed away. He must’ve ordered lunch already since you didn’t call the office to tell him that you were coming. This is what you get for trying to surprise him, you thought, with a little laugh. Well, maybe actually you can meet up with the delivery guy and pay for his lunch, that would also be a nice thing to do. When your fingers slide on the screen to reveal the messages, you felt your breath leave your entire body. You didn’t know how long you were staring at the picture or the text, you didn’t even know when you started breathing again.

There were three pictures, they were all of the same girl. In one of them, she was standing in front of a floor to ceiling window, posing in front of it so you could only see her silhouette. The second, she was on her bed with lingerie on and her legs spread. The third, the third made you almost lose your mind— if you could even get it to come back from the shock. It was a picture of her topless in bed with Kelce’s smiling face behind her as his arms wrapped around her chest.

The text saying: This meeting suxx. I miss you, I can’t wait for this weekend xxx

You don’t remember the last time Kelce smiled that big at you. Hell, you don’t remember the last time he even wrapped his arms around you in bed. Oh, wait, no, you did, because it was just three nights ago when he told you that he loved you and that nothing was going to change how he felt. You practically had a meltdown and confronted him about not coming home on time and how he never made time for you anymore so he made sure to be home on time that night and you remember how he held your face and cuddled you after sex, telling you how he couldn’t wait to marry you.

You thought of everything at once, even though you thought of yourself last. Without even processing that you’re sat in front of his office where this woman was sending your fiancé raunchy messages, you thought about how you hoped that your father wouldn’t find out. How horrible this would look for you if your family friends were to catch wind of this. You didn’t even want to imagine your mother’s face when she finds out and she’ll tell you that she had told you so from the very beginning. That 20 was far too young to be engaged, too young to know what you wanted but you were so sure. You were so sure that you wanted Kelce and he wanted you back just as much...just not as much.

The next couple of minutes felt like a movie, where the person was drunk and the camera shot was right under their face, everything was blurry and in slow motion. You might’ve said hi to the security guard on the first floor and maybe you greeted the receptionist on the office level but your head didn’t snap back to reality until you saw Kelce in his office with that girl. Olive Garden. Pathetic, you thought to yourself. She was leaning over his arm, her tits practically in his face as if she couldn’t even act like she was showing him something on a graph instead of trying to tease him.

You forced your feet to walk into the office casually, or what you thought was casual. You could’ve burst in the office looking like a madwoman for all you knew. Once you were there, you cleared your throat, causing Kelce to jump back, flushed against his seat, and the girl to stand up straighter. The look in his eyes was wild for a split second before he composed himself again in front of you. As if you didn’t know him well enough and spend enough time with him to know when he was uncomfortable or how he would brush the palm of his hands against his shirt when he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. You walked over to his desk with a fake smile on your lips as you set the meal and his phone on his graph.

“Wha—what is this?” He stuttered as he brushed the palm of his hands against the front of his shirt. You tilted your head at him and looked to the girl beside him.

“You left your phone at home,” you began and you saw the very moment when realization had hit the girl in front of you. An assistant, you were sure, because you knew every single person in your father’s company. How could you not? You were in charge of overseeing payroll. Her face though, you did not recognize, which definitely meant she had just been hired recently. Eyes, coming back to your fiancé, you shrugged, “I thought I’d bring it over and also make some lunch for you. It’s not Olive Garden or anything but it’ll do.”

You only stayed long enough for Kelce’s eyes to go wide as he grasped what you were saying before you gave a curt smile and walked out of his office. Did you walk or rush out of the building? Why were your hands shaking so much? God, you were reacting to this as if you were going to— and then you did. You vomited all over the bushes in front of the building. Somehow convincing your stomach not to embarrass you any further, you pulled out a small napkin from your bag and wiped your mouth before dropping the tissue in the trash and making your way back to the car.

You must not embarrass your family, your mother’s voice rang in your ears, keep personal affairs personal; no one else should be around if you’re going to disagree. Maybe this was an exception though because you weren’t disagreeing. He did the unimaginable to you and you have every right to be upset, so why is your head-turning against you? At this point, you didn’t even believe your eyes anymore. Maybe she had meant to send those pictures to a different person, you bargained with yourself. That does leave the mystery of the picture of his arm around her though…but maybe it’s photoshopped. It could’ve just been a sick and unprofessional joke that they play at the office and that’s why she clamped up when you mentioned having his phone. Then again, that doesn’t explain why her name was changed in his phone contacts. 

With your mind going a hundred miles per second, you almost didn’t hear the sound of hurried footsteps from the entrance of the building getting closer. As you reached your car door, a hand came from beside your head and slammed the door back shut. Without turning around, you knew who it was. His scent from the cologne that you bought him, lingered in the still air between the two of you. Kelce had you trapped between the door and himself, both of his arms on either side of your head. You didn’t want to turn around. You couldn’t face him right now without having a complete and utter meltdown but he wasn’t giving you a choice. You could feel his breath on your shoulder and the back of your neck as he leaned into your body, dropping small kisses as he whispered how much he loves you. His hands dropped to your waist, circling them around you as he hugged you, your back flushed against his front and it dulls the searing pain spreading around your heart.

“I love you. Thank you for lunch,” his words jumbled together as if he couldn’t decide which line he wanted to use first. 

“Okay,” you said, as the words burned your throat on the way out. It meant a lot more to you than he could’ve known. It meant, okay, I’m going to forget about this. Okay, I love you. Okay, please don’t go back in there with her. But you didn’t utter a single word other than just…okay. You allowed Kelce to turn you around in his arms and kiss your forehead before saying he had to get back to work and that he’d see you at home. You weren’t known for causing a scene in a public place and neither was Kelce, so maybe that meant that you’d talk about this at home. Or maybe there was nothing to discuss when it came to the photos so he actually meant he’d just ‘see you at home’. So, if that’s the case, why did the picture of Kelce smiling wide behind his girl bother you so much? His girl. You wanted to scream.

The drive was long and before you even realized where you were going, you found yourself at Topper’s house. It’s kind of a sad story but because you’ve been with Kelce for so long and he’d always only hung out with his friends, they’ve kind of just become yours too. Meaning you didn’t have a lot of girlfriends or friends of your own. Though you are sure that Rafe and Topper love you equally, as you do them, you found Topper a little less intense and easier to talk to.

After knocking on his door, you found yourself feeling a little silly. You didn’t even call to see if he was home and what if he wasn’t? Would you cry to his mom instead? Would you even cry? You felt like you almost couldn’t breathe, standing there waiting for him. The shortness of your breath had now turned into you sobbing as you grabbed onto your chest, willing your heart to please stop hurting. The door had opened and you were so embarrassed to even be seen like this that you curled up with your knees on the ground, hugging your arms around your stomach as your head bowed to try and hide your face.

Strong arms quickly wrapped around you, pushing your hair back from your tear-stained face. You know this wasn’t a pretty cry, you probably had snot running down your nose and saliva coming down your mouth but you couldn’t help it. It felt like the ultimate betrayal. As if you spent years building this beautiful sandcastle and right as you’re about to present it to a judge, someone on your team had come around and knocked it down until it was just particles of sand again. The image of what it once was is the only thing you’re left within your mind. 

Calm down, you tried to tell yourself but the blurred vision of the worried blonde didn’t help either. After trying to talk to you and getting no responses because honestly, you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own hiccups, he carried you into his house, across the hall into his room, and took off your shoes before sitting you on his bed. His arms still around you until your sobs turned into sniffles.

“Please tell me what I can do to fix it or who I can hurt back,” Topper almost whispered as he placed his chin on your head, basically cradling you. Your response was just a shake of your head because he couldn’t fix it. Not unless he could go back in time and change what Kelce had done to her, and another thought had popped into your head, you didn’t want anyone else to stop Kelce but Kelce himself. You had wanted him to love you enough to not get in bed with her.

“Do I need to call Kelce?” He offered and though you know that Topper knows nothing of the situation, your body still tensed and you found yourself moving away from his lap, scooting up next to the headboard as you brought your knees in against your chest and shook your head.

Your puffy red eyes and tears stained face was enough for him to shoot a quick text for Rafe to come over instead. At this point, Topper thought the worst and he wasn’t sure he was ready to hear it but he had to ask.

“Did Kelce hurt you?”

You nodded because he did but you were coherent enough to process the words and hear an intake of Topper’s breath to look up at him and shook your head.

“Not physically,” you quickly corrected, “but I think he’s cheating on me,” you whimpered, trying not to fall apart again. You didn’t want to tell him that you were sure because technically you weren’t, you didn’t trust your eyes but a part of you knew that it was true. That was the part that was putting together all the pieces in your puzzle for the past couple of months, filling in the empty spaces where Kelce was supposed to be with that damn photo. Topper didn’t react at first, then almost looked uncomfortable as he shifted his body from the end of the bed so that he could take a look at you.

“How do you know for sure?”

And so, you told him. You told him about how Kelce was acting weird for the past couple of months and how you couldn’t place it. You told him about the texts, the pictures, and what you saw in the office. You sobbed on Topper’s bed until the tears had dried on your face and you felt like there was nothing left to give. In the midst of all your sobbing, you had somehow tangled yourself up with him. Your body was against his as he rubbed circles on your hips until you fell asleep.

Falling asleep on Topper’s bed wasn’t something that usually happened. Actually, it was never something that happened because Mrs. Thornton would’ve killed you if she saw it happened.

“A lady should never be caught lounging nor in a questionable scenario, you’d do well to remember that,” she scolded once when she caught you hanging out with the boys in her backyard with your legs draped across Kelce’s knees.

Oh, Kelce, the familiar squeeze around your heart appeared again. You felt so pathetic as you pushed the blanket off of you and planted your feet against the floor.

You shuffled your way to the kitchen, noticing that the sun had gone down so you must’ve slept the day away. You saw the fire flicker by the glass doors to the backyard and saw Topper and Rafe talking to each other, holding on to their beers loosely around the bottlenecks. You took a deep breath in and pushed open the door, the boys immediately stopped whispering to each other as you walked towards them.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” Rafe said, eyeing you as you walked over to them. The way that they both tensed up, gave you the answer to a question you’ve yet to ask.

“How long have you known?” you asked as you sat down on the outdoor sofa across from them, tucking your legs underneath you. You haven’t felt this small, this insignificant in a while.

You watched as the boys spluttered, Topper in a coughing fit from swallowing the beer down the wrong way. They looked to each other as color rushed to both of their cheeks and honestly, you would’ve found it funny if it was any other situation but you could see their lies forming and you hated it.

“Please, just tell me. We’ve known each other since we were ten, I know when you’re lying, please. Don’t make me beg you,” your voice hoarse from crying before, and having just woken up is making it sound even worse.

Rafe sighed as he looked at Topper and then back at you, “Listen, I--,” he was cut off by a booming voice you’re way too familiar with.

Kelce’s voice was shouting your name from the front door but you knew he was making his way to the back since his cussing and mumbling became more audible. This made both boys shut up and you knew that your chance to hear their side of the story was over for tonight. You moved in your seat to bring your knees up to your chest, resting your chin at the top of your knees as you kept your eyes on the fire in front of you even as a body moved to block your view.

“You’re too good to answer your phone now?” Kelce asked. The anger in his voice is apparent, “do you know what time it is? I’ve been at home worried sick and you’ve just been here? You couldn’t send a text?” he bombarded you with questions and though you know his concern is valid and that he just cares, all you could do was shrug because you knew the moment you opened your mouth, nothing good was going to come out.

“Come on, man,” Topper tried to butt in but stopped when it fell on deaf ears. Kelce had knelt down in front of you, making eye contact as he reached out to grab your hands that were wrapped around your legs.

“I was worried,” Kelce began but then he looked behind him and asked if the other boys could give you two some space, in which Rafe impolitely declined.

“Must be hard, huh?” You finally spoke, “to be home alone and not know where I was or who I was with…just waiting for a phone call or a text,” you couldn’t help the anger that bubbled inside of you and though you didn’t actually mean to do it, you were glad that Kelce got a taste of his own medicine.

“Is that what this is? You’re teaching me a lesson?” Kelce asked but his voice stayed soft, his thumbs making circles on your hands and you were so angry. You were so angry that he betrayed you and even worse because looking at him now, knowing that he understands you, that he loves you—yeah, that hurt.

“I shouldn’t have to teach you how to be a good fiance, Kelce. I shouldn’t have to teach you how to be considerate to me,” you said, physically and mentally exhausted.

“Hey man,” Rafe came around to put his hand on Kelce’s shoulder, “how about you stay with us tonight? Topper can take her back to your guys’ apartment.”

Without even looking back to the boy standing next to him, Kelce kept his voice low and his eyes and hands on you, “You want that, baby? You want me to stay away from you for tonight? We haven’t gone to bed angry at each other for seven years, baby. You want that?” and even as your heart broke even more because it was true, you nodded. You needed the space and you knew it was because the moment Kelce got you alone, you’d forgive him. You’d crawl back to him and ask him how you could be better for him, even if you knew that it wasn’t really your fault, you’d ask him how you could be more like her. 

Topper offered to stay on the sofa at your apartment and you allowed him to, only because you knew if you didn’t, Rafe would come knocking at your door demanding that he’d stay here instead, all the while not giving anything up to you about Kelce and his other girls.

You took a brisk shower before pulling on your pajamas and then numbly staring at your bedroom. You couldn’t help it but you started checking drawers in the nightstands and the dresser. You checked his jacket pockets and his sacred little organizer with all different kinds of numbers on here, some written fast with tacky lipstick kisses on the napkins and others were business cards. Your heart was pounding in your chest when you reached into his shoes and felt something in there. You pulled out two photobooth strips and if you had it in you, you’d cry again. Unfolding the strips, it was Kelce and that girl from his job. The pictures were taken at the carnival that comes to town once every year and these two pictures looked like they must’ve been a couple of years apart. One of them, Kelce was wearing the gold chain necklace that you got him for his 17th birthday and the second photo set looked like it was taken last year. So, if your calculations were correct, he’s been seeing this girl for almost three to four years.

People usually said that they blackout when they destroy rooms and furniture, but you? You were hyper-aware of pulling Kelce’s jackets that cost hundreds if not thousands of dollars and dumping them in the bathroom as you poured a toilet cleanser all over them. No, you were definitely aware when you opened the window to your bedroom and threw out his shoes. Maybe you blacked out when you tried to put his collection of million-dollar watches down the kitchen disposal but that’s honestly just because you forgot that Topper was staying over. You didn’t even want to know what it looked like to him coming out of the guest bathroom to the noise of a watch in the sink disposal, others lined up to take its place. As you reared around the corner of the kitchen and beelined to the living room before you jumped on Kelce’s game console. 

“Stop!” Topper ran towards you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you up, over his shoulder as you scratched and screamed in an attempt to escape and destroy everything that belonged to Kelce. He dragged you with him to go turn off the disposal but he didn’t attempt to pull the watch out. Topper dropped you on the sofa and grabbed your face in his hands, “stop! Please, stop. Do you think this is going to hurt him? Do you think he’ll care? He has the money to replace all of this.” Topper tried to put sense into your head but you couldn’t see anything that made sense. Your whole life, this man you were supposed to marry and have children with, was nothing true? Pushing the photo strips that you still clutched in your palm against Topper’s chest you grit through your teeth, “how long?”

Topper shook his head and sighed, sitting on the floor in front of you, “Rafe and I only found out this week, we’ve been trying to find a way to tell you, I promise. I just—I didn’t know if it was my place and Kelce said he’d tell you first, he said it just began but then he said it’s been a while. I’m sorry,”

“Get out, Topper.”

“No.”

“Get out. I can’t deal with this, everyone around me is a liar,” you began crying again.

“I love you. I’d do anything for you but right now I’m not leaving you alone,” and he didn’t. No matter how much you cried against his arm and felt like you were self-destructing, all Topper did was hold you to him and apologize. He apologized for everyone even if it wasn’t his place.

The morning after felt eerily calm, probably because you knew that the storm hadn't hit. You’ve yet to have a conversation with Kelce since you’ve found the pictures last night and basically destroyed everything he owned. He’s texted you about five times though, reminding you that he loves you and how he hoped you slept well. You didn’t. Then again, you haven’t slept well for a while. Topper had untangled his arms from you sometime last night and you both just laid on the floor of your living room, staring at the ceiling until you dozed off for a couple of minutes.

Sitting up and looking around your apartment with fresh eyes, you cringed at the sight. Mostly because you knew that you had to clean up the mess and secondly because you knew that Kelce was on his way home this morning to change for work and you had doused his suits with a toilet cleanser. As if the devil was listening to your every thought, your phone beeped with a message from Kelce that he was doing just that and that you both had plenty to talk about. 

The picture of Kelce and the other girl was found on the floor next to the kitchen and you tried to walk by it as you went to grab a cup of water but you couldn’t. There’s just something so hypnotic about his smile, his almost laugh. Though through the years he has changed, in those two pictures, his smile hasn’t. You held the pictures in your hand as your engagement ring mockingly shines from the sunlight peeking through the balcony. Topper had gotten up and nodded his head at you before he made his way into the bathroom and then to the kitchen to shove a piece of bread into his mouth before chugging a glass of orange juice.

“I need to eat something before I deal with today’s bullshit,” he had explained and when the door handle turned, you wish that you had done the same thing.

You were sitting on the sofa against the wall of the living room, perfectly in line with the front door, and Topper is in the chair next to you, with his forearms on his knees as if he was already over whatever was going to happen.

Kelce walked through the doors with a dozen roses and a red gift-wrapped box in one hand and you want to feel guilty. You almost did, until you looked down at your palm to the pictures you were holding and all you felt was rage and pain.

“What did you?!” Kelce’s voice shouted from the apartment door as he looked at the mess in front of him.  His eyes were trained on the gaming system at the bottom of the TV, clearly damaged. He walked with a purpose to the console but then stopped as he was passing the kitchen. You know he saw the watches and with a deep inhale, his eyes squeezed shut and his hands ball up into fists. You can see Topper put his shaking head in his hands, preparing for the worst, you bet. Kelce exhaled, his feet taking him to his million-dollar collection, sticking his hand down the sink and pulling out a watch you got him for Christmas four years ago. You couldn’t see the damage but the look on his face annoyed you. He looked pissed that his precious gift was ruined, he had thrown (what you assumed) was your flowers and gift on the floor as he looked around the living room and the kitchen for more damages. You could tell that he was angry but so were you. You looked down at the pictures in your hands again.

“What did you do,” he came charging at you and you couldn’t help jumping up to your feet, not noticing Topper follow suit.

“Me? What did you do?” You yelled back, your voice scratching your throat. “You did this to us!” You pushed against his chest and you kept pushing him until you were lifted and pulled away. You threw the picture at his face, “three years, mother fucker? You wasted three years of my life, of me being in love with you and for what?”

Kelce grit his teeth, his eyes lingered on Topper’s arms as he held you back but all you knew is that Topper was holding you together. Keeping you from falling apart again.

“I was going to tell you but why the fuck am I explaining myself to you? What did you two do here last night?” He accused and you knew that this was a deflection tactic but it didn’t help the fact that you wanted to scratch his eyes out for insinuating that you’d sleep with Topper.

“Listen, man, don’t even go there,” you felt Topper’s chest vibrate with his voice.

“Oh, so you speak for her now?” Kelce took a step forward and maybe he meant to be threatening but you’ve seen these boys go toe to toe countless times before. Before you choked on the testosterone building in the atmosphere, you moved between them. Placing your hand against both their chest and it would be a lie if you said that touching Kelce’s chest didn’t erupt pain and longing within yours.

“He was here last night to make sure I didn’t burn this place down and trust me, I would’ve. I should’ve burned everything I’ve ever given you, everything that belongs to you,” you said and you intended it to come out maybe a bit calmer than the harsh tone that it was laced with. Kelce reached up to grab your hand and press it harder against his chest, right over his heart. You felt his heart beating underneath your palm and you remember the nights you’d fall asleep listening to that. You saw his eyes leave yours and to your other hand that was still on Topper’s chest, too, and you could’ve sworn Kelce snarled.

“You can’t burn your virginity, I took that. And as far as I’m concerned, you’re still mine,” Kelce spoke and you yanked your hand back as if he’d electrocuted you. That was not the Kelce you knew. He would have never spoken to you like that. Fully facing him now, you folded your arms across your chest, feeling Topper’s hand lingering on your back, as if he’s ready to pull you back if you lunged at your cheating ex-boyfriend again.

“Like. Hell.” You grit through your teeth. There was a time where you would’ve wanted to die than to be without Kelce and now you couldn’t even picture the two of you together again. Okay, no, you could but you cannot see yourself forgiving him any time soon.

“We’re getting married. The wedding date is set,” he reminded you and with that, Topper did step away. He mumbled something about getting your stuff as he disappeared into your bedroom and if you were thinking, you’d warn him about the mess he’d be walking into but you couldn’t take your eyes off of the cold brown ones staring at you. It was unfair how much you loved Kelce and how you’d probably take him back if he had gotten down on his knees in front of you and begged for you back, but he wasn’t even doing that. He stood upright, his hands at his sides. His eyes were not sorry.

“Are you crazy? The wedding is canceled. The wedding was over the minute I found out. The second you cheated-,” you couldn’t even believe what he was saying, what you were saying. It was getting harder to think because, with every step back, he took a step forward, unconsciously playing a game of cat and mouse.

“Y/n, the wedding will seal the deal with your father, okay. I need this,” his tone low and desperate.

Then it clicked. Of course. Your father owned a couple of casinos down the east coast and all the way to Vegas. It was a running joke that he looked at Kelce like his own son and once you two were married, he’d sign a couple off to him. Of course, the joke turned into a serious discussion once Kelce’s father’s business got hit hard by the stock market crash. His family had changed a bit after that, they made budget cuts that Kelce was too embarrassed to tell his precious little friends about but had no problem throwing it in your face when he needed you to cover payment on his car or the apartment. You didn’t mind, of course, you knew he’d get back up on his feet again. You would’ve spent every last dime on him without him even asking.

With a staggering step back, you brought your hand to your chest because you swore that you could catch the shattering pieces in your hands. “So, it was a marriage of convenience,” you said, almost to yourself. In which Kelce’s eyes widened in response, trying to shove the words back into his mouth and you couldn’t tell if it was because he had said too much or he had worded his phrase incorrectly. Either way, the words were there, laying between the two of you. Both of whom didn’t really know what to do with it.

“You know I love you,” Kelce’s voice tried breaking down the walls that you were quickly building up and it was like you could see the bricks shutting him out. The words in the present tense did not escape you but neither did the fact that he had been seeing someone else for the past three years behind your back.

“I believe that you believe that, Kelce, I do but I don’t think you even know what love is,” you searched his eyes, his hands reaching for yours but you kept stepping back, “or maybe this is the way you love and if this is it, I don’t want any part of it.”

Kelce shook his head and tears were filling up his eyes, the first time during this whole situation where he was showing you any type of emotion. Anything real. “I do. I love you and I’ll make it right. I’ll- I’ll leave her. If that’s what you want, I’ll leave her,” his voice cracked and as if it was really clicking in that you were going to leave him, he dropped to his knees in front of you. The sight reminded you of a happier time when he was down on one knee in front of the Cinderella castle at Disney World and you thought it was a joke. Now, you wish that this whole situation was a horrible elongated joke. 

“I don’t want it to be what I want. I want you to not want anyone else,” tears silently ran down your cheeks as his arms wrapped around you. You tried to push him off but your strength failed you when he buried his face into your stomach, his tears staining your shirt. 

“We’ve been dating since we were 12. You’re going to throw that away?” He looked up at you, begging you not to give up on him and you knew better. Your intuition was telling you that he had been lying, the walls you built up screamed that they weren’t coming down so easily but looking at him, feeling him…you couldn’t help yourself.

“I’m not going to forget this, you know. I’m not going to just pretend like it never happened,” you explained but at this point, he knew that he had you.

“Just give me one more chance. Please. Just one more. And then you can walk away forever if it doesn’t work. Please.”

Finally, you nodded. You said yes to one more chance and Kelce finally got up off his knees to tower over you again as he engulfed you in his arms. He kissed your forehead even as you explained that you couldn’t live with him again, just yet—though you’d continue to pay the bills and you even gave him your credit card to pay for the suits you destroyed. 

-------

One month has passed since that day. You’ve been shacked up in Topper’s guest house, which means that you roomed with Rafe from time to time but only when his dad was being a jerk. Both of the boys disagreed with you giving Kelce a second chance, saying something about the player’s handbook and how that was just an excuse to get you back but you blocked out their advice. Stupidly. 

It took you less than a week to find some other lie, a tagged picture on his social media with two girls sitting on his lap at the club. His location on his phone would always pin him at a point when he said he was at another. A part of you grew resentful at the man for being such a horrible liar and the other part grew resentful towards yourself for believing that he’d change. 

Kelce would blame the strain on your relationship on your constant paranoia that he was texting or talking to another girl but you couldn’t help yourself. Everywhere you looked, there was a clue that he was lying until one day he just told you not to look. He said that you hurt yourself by checking his phone and that at this point, you were doing it on purpose to try and find reasons to end your guys’ relationship. He said it so often that you started to believe that it was true. Were you just looking for reasons to be angry at him? So, you stopped checking. You stopped snooping. Luckily, you didn’t move back in with him because that would be a hell of a lot harder if he wasn’t coming home. To be fair, it was easier to lie to yourself that things were doing a lot better when you couldn’t see the truth.

After making a hefty dent in your wallet to replace everything that you’ve damaged, he began working for your father and you finally got your credit card back. Things were looking up; he was a lot happier and actually spent more time with you. Granted, it was also because your parent’s 50th anniversary was approaching so they were doing a week-long celebration of their love. Kelce attended every single party on your arm but after the parties were over, he’d always slip out and disappear. 

One night, he asked you to come to the wreck to hang out, just the two of you. No one to dress up for and no one to impress. He convinced you that it would be a lot more fun if you had a real proper date at a fancy restaurant instead. So, you agreed. You made reservations two weeks in advance and wore a long fitted green satin dress. You’ve both agreed to arrive in separate cars since he said that he was coming straight from work so you didn’t mind when he ran late. Work must’ve been keeping him from arriving on time and you understood that, so you waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

If the pitying look from the waiters weren’t embarrassing enough, it was even worse when you found out that the chef was a family friend who came out to personally recommend something off the menu that she promised that you’d like, just so you could order. To be polite, you did order—to go. While waiting for your meal, two hours late, you were checking people’s stories on an app and found out that there was actually a kegger at the Boneyard tonight and you wished that you were surprised but there was Kelce in the background.

Sending a quick text to the group chat you have going on with Topper and Rafe, labeled Golden Girls, you had informed them that you’d be attending the kegger, in which they replied that they were also on their way. Leaving a hefty tip for wasting their time and probably taking a table from multiple people who would’ve tipped them well, you left the restaurant fighting the urge to put a paper bag of shame over your head.

You didn’t think about the fact that you were severely overdressed for the Boneyard at this point, when you were getting out of your car and taking off your heels to throw them into the backseat, you were too late to do anything about it. Walking to the beach, a couple of pogues laughed at your dress as it flowed in the wind. Some shouted that you were on the wrong side of the island while others offered to take the dress off of you but you didn’t pay attention to any of them. You were a woman on a mission: alcohol first and then find Kelce.

“Damn, you know we don’t actually have a dress code, right?” JJ teased you as he filled the red cup with beer before handing it to you.

“Oh man, I must’ve missed the memo,” you played along as you laughed, seeing as he’s basically harmless. You see him hanging out with Rafe’s little sister, Sarah, all the time since she started dating John B a year ago.

Tipping your cup and giving the blonde a wink, you continued your search on the beach. To be fair, it’s not a big enough place for Kelce to hide. This whole island is not big enough for Kelce to hide his lies from you. You found him by a bonfire, his arm wrapped around her. You were disgusted by the sight yet intrigued at the same time. You’ve always wondered what it was about her that had bewitched him, so you found a tree to lean on and watched the two of them as they laughed. You memorized her curves and her face. Her smile as she places careless kisses on him. 

You found yourself comparing yourself to her. Your hair fell the same way. She even kind of had your smile but what is it that you’re missing? If she kind of looks a bit like you then why were you not enough? You were shaken out of your thoughts when someone threw their arm around your shoulder.

“How is it that you always manage to stand out even when you’re hiding in the shadows?” a gruff voice whispers in your ear. You looked up at Rafe with a sad smile and shrugged, taking another sip of your drink.

“It’s a curse more than a gift, Mr. Cameron,” you replied in a somber tone as you kept your eyes trained on the couple. He followed your gaze to Kelce and his body tensed before he snapped out of it and his head turning to you again.

“Are you fucking serious?” Rafe said and you weren’t sure if he was directing the question at you or at Kelce. Rafe had gauged your reaction, probably wondering what you were doing here staring at the two of them instead of storming up to them and claiming your man but as you stood here, you realized that that man on the beach was no longer yours. He might’ve been yours at one point and he did a damn good job at pretending to be yours for the past few years but now that you’re watching him blissfully happy with some other girl, that illusion has definitely been cracked.

Rafe pulled his arm back from around your shoulder and made his way to Kelce. You should’ve stopped him but you also knew that once Rafe had his mind set on something, it was almost impossible to get in his way. You weren’t close enough to hear what was said but Rafe had probably notified Kelce of your whereabouts since he pointed right at you. You expected your boyfriend to yank his hand back from the girl next to him and come and apologize to you like he did before, back at your apartment but he didn’t. As you stepped out of the shadows of the tree, not really seeing a reason to hide anymore, Kelce shrugged.

You wanted to be hurt and to be angry but all you could do was shrug back at him while rolling your eyes. Keeping your eyes trained at the starry night as if looking up would keep the tears in. What else could you say? You didn’t want to cause a scene, you didn’t want confrontation, and honestly, you were tired of always having to fight for his love that you clearly did not have anymore. If you had it in you, you’d be embarrassed. Seeing the stunt that he’s pulling in front of both sides of the island when the two of you were aware that everyone knew you were together. As if hearing your thoughts, Rafe began arguing with Kelce about how disrespectful he was to your relationship.

You gulped the remainder of your beer, feeling a little spill off the side of your mouth. You wiped it with the back of your hand. You needed to get away from the scene, from watching Rafe and Kelce argue while your look-alike stood by Kelce’s side as if she already was his girlfriend...was she already his girlfriend? Was she the one he brought to parties while he kept you at home? The pounding in your head was getting too much, mixed in with the murmur that now sounds like a roar of people talking but not loud enough to drown the fact that your name was being yelled back and forth between the two men. You watched as Topper ran in the middle of them and you turned on your heel before you could see anything else. At this point your mind was focused on an exit, you needed an exit but the sand was weighing your legs down, or was it the alcohol? Or was it this unbearable sadness that’s crushing your heart and making it feel heavy on your chest.

You didn’t know if you took two steps or walked a mile before someone grabbed your arm and that was all it took for the dams to burst. It sounded almost like a wail but the person had muffled it in their chest. If you had the energy and if you weren’t so drunk, you’d be angry enough to fight but right now all you wanted to do was mourn. That’s usually what breaking up was all about anyway, it was literally called breaking and that’s what it felt like you were doing. Breaking down into anonymous’ arms that had now swooped you up with their arm behind your knees and the other still pressing your head to their chest as if to protect your face from onlookers but anyone could tell that you’re crying by the way that your body was jolting. You wanted the ground to just open and swallow you up.

You didn’t ask a lot of questions as you felt the body get in the back seat with you and heard someone else get into the driver’s side. You didn’t even look up as you felt the car start moving. The two in the car had left the radio off on the drive to wherever as you cried yourself drowsy. Not once did either of them tell you to stop crying or even give you any type of advice and though it didn’t make you feel all that better, it guaranteed that you wouldn’t feel any worse.

After one episode of crying was over, you calmed yourself down enough to try and push off the next episode as long as possible. With your head still on the person’s chest, you looked over to see a bloody Rafe driving, his lips in a thin straight line. Rafe’s eyes flickered to yours from the review and you can feel the wave of sorrow through them. Your group was broken forever and each of you knew it but you also knew you’d never ask the guys to take your side when Kelce was their friend first. Speaking of him, the arms that were trailing circles on your back started to burn as acid felt like it was coming back up your throat.

“Pull over,” you said, your voice hoarse as you pushed Kelce’s hands off your body that he has no right to anymore. When no one said anything or made any moves, you unlocked the door and opened it, causing Rafe to bring the car to a screeching stop.

“Are you fucking crazy?!” You heard them yell as you all about ran out of the car and began releasing your half-eaten dinner onto the poor grass on the side of the road.

A car behind you has also pulled off to the side of the road, your car. Topper had stepped out of the vehicle and it was just three angry men, watching you dry heave until you were ready to get back into the car again.

When you were back in the car, Kelce’s eyes wouldn’t leave your face and you knew it because you felt the stare but you didn’t give him the satisfaction.

“Please take me home,” you requested as if you had just jumped into the back of a taxi cab, making Rafe shake his head.

“I’m not taking you home and leaving you alone when you’re drunk. We’re going to Topper’s and Kelce can go start packing his stuff from your apartment before you’ve sobered up tomorrow,” he said sternly but with that, the wave of sadness came over you again as you buried your face in your hands, sobbing the whole ride back.

When the car reached Topper’s house, yours pulling up beside you, the two boys stepped out. Topper going to unlock his door and Rafe standing right outside the driver’s door. Is it possible to cry the alcohol out of your system because you felt like you’re suddenly a whole lot soberer now than you were when you asked them to stop the car. You sat there in silence with Kelce beside you.

“You don’t love me anymore,” you stated, finally looking at him. He had a cut on his lip that looked pretty gnarly. Good, you hoped it hurt.

“No, at least not like before,” Kelce explained unnecessarily. You dug your nails into your legs to keep you from crying again.

“You love her,” another statement but this time it was met with a shake of his head.

“I don’t know how I feel about her yet,” he admitted and it almost felt disgusting. As if your parents had just described their sex life to you. You didn’t want to hear it, it made your skin crawl.

“We’re not going to be friends after this, you know,” you began and he opened his mouth to say something but you brought your hand up to stop him, “we’re not. The respect that you’ve shown me is little to none and that means you didn’t even love me as a person to treat me better than an enemy. I don’t even know where I went wrong and what I did to deserve to be treated like this but it is borderline inhumane. The past few months you’ve been cruel and I’ve loved you through it. I loved you and lost myself in the midst of it,” you said, the words spilling out of your mouth and you hoped that it made sense.

“One day we’ll be friends again, you’re just emotional about it right now,” he said with a roll of his eyes, the same tone he always uses when he thought that you were being dramatic. With that, Rafe had come around your side of the car and all but pulled you out of the car, throwing the keys to Kelce’s car at him. But after Kelce stepped out of the backseat and began getting in the front seat, you yelled back at the car.

“Hey!” You twisted in Rafe’s arms and Kelce sighed before looking at you, “I don’t love you anymore either,” you lied hoping that it’ll sting but the bored look he had in his eyes made you want to scream. What did you do to deserve this?

After crying while shoving the cold pizza that Topper offered to warm up in your mouth and the bath that Rafe had put on for you and insisted you looked like a beach cat, you were looking at yourself in the mirror. You were given some clean clothes. Basketball shorts, that were basically capris for you and a school t-shirt that looked like a dress and maybe you were reaching delirium but you couldn’t help but laugh. You looked like a 12-year-old boy with puffy red eyes and you felt like someone had ripped out your heart with their bare hands but you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself.

After giving yourself the worst pep talk ever in the mirror, you shrugged at your reflection as you walked into the bedroom. You felt bad that you had kicked Topper out of his room for the night, causing him to share the bed with Rafe but you told them that you needed to be alone. Plus, they were sharing a king-size bed so it wasn’t like they truly had a reason to complain. You checked your phone and not a single notification appeared and now that you were laying in this bed, you were restless. You walked to the window and cursed the powers that be that made heartache hurt this bad. Nothing else had hurt you as much as Kelce did before and you placed some of the blame to yourself mostly, for filling your head with possibilities instead of reality. You knew what he was doing, you knew that he was seeing other girls and you were naive enough to say well, at least he’s lying but he’s also lying in your bed at the end of the night. Deciding that your thoughts were too consuming, you pulled the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around yourself, your legs making their way to the guest room.

Hearing the tapping of controllers and muffled commands, you pushed the door in softly just to see Rafe and Topper illuminated by the TV light. Both of them, leaning over with their arms resting on their knees, controllers in their hands as they were whisper-yelling to each other.

Topper was the first to notice you but his head turned to you for less than a second before turning back to the tv, cussing at...well, you couldn’t tell if it was Rafe or the TV.

“Hey,” he rushed out, “couldn’t sleep?” He asked and at this point, he definitely had to be doing it out of niceties because in the same breath he also said, “that fucker— Rafe! Where are you? Are you just staring at the wall, huh? The flowers pretty enough for you? You wanna help me out here?” Which only landed him a side kick from Rafe.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” sarcasm draped Rafe’s voice as he banged on the buttons in his hand, “I didn’t realize I had to carry both of us during the game.”

You couldn’t help but laugh and shook your head at both of them. You climbed up onto the bed behind them, keeping the blanket wrapped around your shoulders, listening to them helped drown out the thoughts you were having for sure. So you tucked yourself in between them and hugged your knees as you watched them play and insult each other. It must be well past two in the morning now and all you can think about is the phone that hasn’t lit up with notifications and if he brought that girl into your bed. He had to have at least brought one in there once and the thought made your skin feel so dirty that you wanted to shower again. Before you even sniffled, you crawled up the bed and laid down right in the middle, wiping your tears away and knowing full well that if Kelce were to walk in through those doors and tell you he’s changed and that he’d love you again, you’d take him back...again. Because you knew his heart.

Two hours had passed since the boys turned in for the night, climbing in beside you. Rafe was sprawled out on the bed, lightly snoring. As Topper laid still, his arms stretched back behind his head, looking up at the ceiling. You nudged your friend lightly and without even moving, his eyes found yours.

“Can’t sleep?” He whispered, already knowing the answer.

You shook your head and then motioning to Rafe, “never thought I’d be jealous of Cameron over there,” you murmured.

It wasn’t long until Topper lured you out of bed, claiming that he had the perfect remedy for a broken heart. Trailing behind him as you both descended down the stairs, you found yourself nursing a glass of bourbon in the basement of his house. Walking around as you took tiny sips, you read each plaque on the trophies on the wall. There was a lot. Topper sat on the makeshift day bed in the corner of the room with his legs outstretched and ankles crossed in front of him. He kept his eyes on you as you walked around his room of achievements. You two didn’t really say much at first. He allowed you to use this moment as a distraction and he was probably afraid of saying the wrong thing to trigger the wrong memory, so he let you be. He took a sip straight from the bottle of liquor before offering you more once your glass was empty. After two and a half glasses, you were sat by him, trying to make sense of your head. To give credit to the boy, he was saying all the right things. He wanted you to know that you had done nothing wrong, that it was Kelce and his own choice.

“Honestly, you wouldn’t want to keep someone around who’d treat you like that anyway,” Topper offered.

“I know, I just,” you chewed your lower lip trying to find the right words, “I don’t think I know how to be without him. I don’t know how to start dating again, I don’t think I’ve ever really done it. We just met each other and it just flowed…you know? Everything about Kelce and I just flowed and now I feel like it’s totally unfair that he’s left me without any type of warning when I was still off in Happily Ever After Land, planning weddings, thinking that nothing was wrong. I started naming our kids. I just feel so dumb.” Exasperated, you shook your head at Topper who was still giving you his undivided attention. You downed the rest of your drink before you continued.

“Everything around me is him. Everything I’ve touched, he’s touched. Everything I’ve owned, he’s seen. Hell, some of my personality is him. He’s the only guy I’ve ever been with and I just wish I could wash him off of me like he’s done so easily to me. I don’t know, I just wish I could fuck him out of my system.” You said with a small laugh, feeling the buzz and finally putting the glass down and cutting yourself off for the night.

Topper had laughed along with you and as you were looking at the man in front of you, an idea had popped into your head.

“Would you do it?” You suddenly asked him.

“Do what?”

“Would you help fuck him out of my system?” And you saw the wheels in his head turning as he took another sip from the bottle before placing it on the floor beside your glass.

“I don’t think you know what you’re asking of me,” Topper explained but something else was laced in his tone, “we’re friends and I don’t really want other feelings to get involved, you know what I mean? I love you but just…that’s not us.” It was quite painful actually, watching Topper turn you down as if you offered him up a relationship.

“No feelings,” you assured the blonde man in front of you, “just sex. I mean, it doesn’t have to be you, I guess. Please don’t think I’m like trying to make you do anything you don’t want to do. I just trust you and I know you’d treat me right during it and we’re friends so like it won’t be awkward but I guess I could also just ask Rafe or like I can go over to the cut and I’m sure one of them might, like, maybe--,” and though you knew you were rambling in front of Topper and your cheeks had gone red, you hadn’t imagined he’d shut you up with a kiss.

The kiss was hard as his lips crashed on yours and his lips were so completely different from Kelce. No, you weren’t going to do that. You weren’t going to compare this experience to Kelce just because he had been the only guy that you’ve ever kissed.

“I’ll be damned before you fuck a pogue,” Topper mumbled on your lips before he took your face in his hands, leaning back to look at your eyes for a moment. Making sure that you had the chance to tell him to get off and change your mind but you didn’t. You put your hands on his waist, using them as an anchor when you threw one of your legs over him, straddling him. Closing the space between the two of you, you kissed him. Unlike the first time, your lips didn’t collide, they pressed against each other gently. Your tongue is the first to slip in between his lips, your hands the first to remove his shirt, allowing him to follow suit with yours. He was letting you guide him and though you appreciated it, you wanted him to take control of the situation as well. You wanted him to want you as much as you wanted to get a new experience and yes, that was incredibly selfish but you couldn’t help it. A part of you wanted reassurance that other guys wanted you as well…that the best part of your life wasn’t Kelce.

So, you wrapped your arms around Topper’s shoulders, your hand getting lost in his hair as you deepened the kiss. You rolled onto your back, pulling him on top of you, wrapping your legs around his waist. He sits up between your legs for a moment, taking off his shirt and you follow suit. As awful as it sounded, you needed the skin contact. You needed the body heat. 

Pulling Topper down by the back of his neck, you kissed him again, tracing his skin with your lips and leaving marks on his neck and chest. Instead of stopping you and telling you that he didn’t want to look claimed, he allowed you to do as you wish to his body. So when you pushed down your pants, and then Topper’s shoulders, he didn’t hesitate. He settled between your thighs and moaned at the sight of your glistening pussy which only turned you on even more. You sunk your nails into Topper’s hair and tugged him closer to your entrance because the look that Topper was giving you almost made it look like he wanted more than you were offering and you didn’t want to think about it. This was just friends helping friends, and he did help you. Multiple times that night on multiple surfaces of his furniture and occasionally the floor and the walls.

-------

You don’t even remember falling asleep but the next morning, you woke up with your back to Rafe’s front as his arm was draped across your middle. Your arms and your leg rest on top of Topper’s body. You wondered how cold it had to have been in the house to make you not overheat with two bodies beside you and a heavy blanket on top of you. Then again, Topper’s family believes it should always be less than 65 degrees in the summer and you weren’t sure if it was just to prove that they had the money to pay for the electric bill and impress their friends or because they truly loved the cold.

You heard the door click and you pulled the blanket over your head, sinking in just a smidge lower between the boys in case Mrs. Thornton is checking in on them. The movements caused the boys to stir and you heard the door click.

“Hey,” you heard, and your body immediately tense, clinging onto Topper tighter than you already were.

“Hey, man,” Rafe was the first to speak, untangling himself from you. Sleep laced his groggy voice as he stretched and yawned, waking Topper up in the process who was following suit.

“Is she still here?” Kelce asked and you wished that you could take the guilt in his tone away but remembering all the details from the night before, never mind.

“Who?” Topper asked, still half asleep before the answer clicking in his head, “oh yeah, yeah, she is. What do you want with her?” His tone suddenly changes into a suspicious one and you couldn’t help but squeeze his side tighter. Not really realizing why you didn’t just pop up from underneath the blanket...well, probably because it might give Kelce a terrible idea about what happened last night.

“If you wait outside, we can go wake her and have her meet you,” Rafe said before Kelce could even respond and you figured that it must’ve worked because the door clicked shut again and the blanket was being pulled off of you.

“Hey!” You pouted, removing yourself from Topper as you tried to pull the blanket back on yourself.

“Do you want me to go out there with you?” Rafe offered seriously and as much as you hated the idea and did not want to speak to Kelce, you knew you had to.

“No, I’ll be okay,” You said, annoyed at the situation as you crawled over Topper to get off the bed.

“If you need us, we’re just a shout away,” Topper said as he sat up in bed, marks along with evidence of what you both did last night peaked through his T-shirt as you quickly nodded and looked away.

You found yourself in front of Kelce on Topper’s front lawn, dressed in Topper’s clothes and a part of you felt guilty. Almost as if you’d cheated on Kelce with his best friend.

Kelce took a look at your outfit before his eyes landed on your face.

“I’m sorry,” he all but blurted.

“Out of everything, I wasn’t expecting that,” you answered, honestly.

“I know. I was mean, I’m sorry. I forgot that I had told you I’d be coming to dinner. I was drunk and upset that I had to leave her to take care of you even though you are my girlfriend or was my girlfriend...but you’re right. I’ve been cruel to you and I never meant to be. You were a good girlfriend and a great friend and you didn’t deserve what I did to you. I didn’t know how to handle the situation and it just never felt like the right time to tell you and then after the first year, it just felt like it would’ve never been the right time,” and even as he said it, he shrugged. “I wasn’t prepared to handle the situation or to figure out how to tell you what’s been going on and then you wanted to say that I disrespected you, which—okay, I deserved that. So, I had all my things moved out of your apartment last night and one day I hope you can forgive me. I’m sorry.”

The silence between the two of you was deafening and though you had so much to tell him, this boy who grew up to be the man who broke your heart, you couldn’t.

“Okay,” was all that you mustered yourself up to say and with that, he turned and walked away.

—

Two weeks after Kelce had moved out of your apartment, you found yourself at the Boneyard again. Rafe with his new girlfriend, Chloe, and Topper and you. You didn’t really know what was going on with you and Topper because you didn’t want to jump into something right after your relationship with Kelce but you couldn’t deny that something was definitely there.

The boys were still friends and you had learned to accept that. There wasn’t much animosity between Kelce and you but the two of you didn’t really speak to each other anymore either. Except, for tonight of course. When Kelce had pulled you away from the group and towards the girl whose face you’ve committed to memory.

“Ashley, this is an old friend,” he introduced you to the girl. “Y/n, this is my girlfriend, Ashley.”

That stung a lot less than you thought it would, raising a glass at her to give a silent acknowledgment before turning on your heels to go find your friends. He didn’t even have the nerve to call you an ex-girlfriend and at this point if seven years of your life were wasted to just be an old friend then so be it.

You found Topper, Rafe, and Chloe standing around a bonfire before squeezing in between the boys.

“Are you pulling any girls tonight?” You teased Topper before wrapping your arms around his middle. 

“No,” Topper replied, looking at Rafe to make sure that he was right before continuing, “Yeah, no.”

“Unless...” Rafe looked at you with his eyebrows raised, joking as he nudged your side with his elbow. 

“Luckily, I don’t think I have to,” you said as you laughed.

“Come on,” Topper said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and started walking you towards the car, “I bet I can beat all of you in COD.”

You can hear Rafe snort at the statement as he trailed behind with his girlfriend, whispering in her ear and kissing the top of her head. As you passed the partygoers on the beach, you looked at Kelce one last time. His smile was as wide as when you’d first met and you’ve finally accepted that he’s happier with her now. At least happier than he was when he was with you for the last couple of months and even if it hurt, you were going to be okay.

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