#progress #eatingdisorderrecovery It's a bit of a late post but I wanted to share my progress in conquering my eating disorder! YAY! I suffer from BED(Binge Eating Disorder) and BPAD. And with the negativity going around the world, my mental health took a nose dive and almost hit rock bottom. Binge- purge- binge- purge- this was the cycle. Then after my well received breakdown aka when I chopped off my long hair, I decided to get help (not the Thor n Loki 'Get Help!' ; I mean therapy XD ). With lots of willpower fuelled by prayers, family support, therapy and meds, I finally made a huge huge progress in June! I managed to keep my binge episodes under only 4 times a month. Now stepping into July I am going to keep it up and ace this recovery in the name of Jesus!!! And I sincerely pray that if any of you are not feeling well, may God heal you as well and please get help! You are important! (At least the plants think you are because they need the CO2 you breathe out :P jk) I am posting this as a reminder to myself, and for putting out positive vibes just in case you need it! #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthprogress #yourlivesmatter #ididit #positivevibes #spreadingpositivity #prayingforall #latenightjournalling #habittracker #화이팅 https://www.instagram.com/p/CCPw9LFhaXy/?igshid=w5c4nf9pvacz
3 notes
·
View notes
A Letter to My Body
Dear Body,
I am sorry.
I am sorry for years of loathing you,
when all you did was give me good health,
despite the torture I put you through with each binge and every restrictive diet.
.
I am sorry.
I am sorry for binge eating.
Binge eating up to seven thousand calories in a day,
sometimes in one sitting.
Stuffing you with food without tasting or enjoying it.
Stuffing you with food until you screamed “please stop” with each stomach gargle and belch.
Stuffing you with food until you simply could not accept one more mouthful.
Stuffing you with food until it made you physically sick to your stomach.
Mindlessly.
Miserably.
Hopelessly.
.
I am sorry.
I am sorry for restrictive dieting.
Starving you.
Not giving you the nourishment that you needed.
Expecting you to exercise in a fasted state.
Expecting you to exercise at 3am before a 10-hour school day.
Depriving you of carbohydrates and foods that brought you joy.
Depriving you of fun social events, fearing that you would give into the temptation of food that was bad or not allowed.
I am sorry for ignoring your signs of hunger.
Dizziness.
Nausea.
Weakness.
.
I am sorry.
I am sorry for hating you.
For blaming you for my actions.
For my unhealthy obsession with dieting and exercise.
For my excessive calorie consumption.
For measuring my self-worth by a number on the scale.
.
I am sorry.
I am sorry for chasing a body shape and size that was unrealistic,
and despising you when my reflection in the mirror did not reflect what I so craved.
Collar bones.
A smooth back.
Tight toned arms.
.
For so long I felt trapped in the endless cycle of binging and restrictive dieting.
Clinging.
Grasping.
Desperately holding on to the control that I thought that I had.
Even though food and diet culture had control over me.
.
I am sorry.
I am sorry for taking so long to love you,
to appreciate you.
For giving, loving, and caring for so many others,
while truly lacking compassion for myself.
.
For you have been abused and belittled,
shamed and blamed.
By me.
You always gave me your best,
even when I wallowed in self-pity and in self-deprecating thoughts,
while giving you my worst.
.
And now,
I have found self-love and acceptance.
Comfort in knowing that you are resilient, strong, and powerful.
I have found peace within myself, not realizing the chaos that had clouded my self-image for so long.
Thank you for not giving up on me, even after I gave up on you.
Time
after
time.
.
I will not allow my binge eating disorder to harm you anymore.
Because
I am worthy.
I am worthy of a balanced and nutritious diet.
I am worthy of love and affection.
I am worthy of a healthy relationship with food.
I am worthy no matter my dress size or the number on the scale.
.
Dear Body,
You are good enough.
I am good enough.
I am sorry for the harm that I have caused.
I forgive myself and
I refuse to feel sorry anymore.
.
Because now,
I see this body for what it is.
Strong.
Healthy.
Beautiful.
And now,
I am unapologetically me,
Recovering from B.E.D.
24 notes
·
View notes
The past two weeks have kind of been a blur. Between feeling like I had a complete hormonal/emotional breakdown, turning 32 on Monday(side note, I had to do the math because I for real thought I was turning 33), and getting myself organized to be back in the classroom next week I have admittedly not entirely stayed on top of this whole #selflovejourney thing. I've had quite a few moments of not being so nice to myself, and I lost a battle with the binge. But, I'm happy yo say I'm not giving up. My goal is my health. My mental, physical, spiritual & emotional health is still my #1 priority and even though these past 2 weeks have been rough; I'm still ahead because I DIDNT GIVE UP. #journeytobetterhealth #selflove #mindfulness #mindovermatter #formyhealth #weightlossfamily #weightlossjourney #pmdd #mentalhealth #nevergiveup #doingitforme #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery https://www.instagram.com/p/B1hSM97A9Uh/?igshid=1clzo7cb0rue3
7 notes
·
View notes
I'd like to think that today I have been successful in feeding myself :) Breakfast was a pre made chocolate heul shake I bought out of curiosity (it was amazing!), I had a snack of a single cracker, lunch was the first picture (tiger bread with onion humous, tomatoes and some smoked tofu), dinner was the second picture (two massive bowls of @bolt451's homemade mushroom soup, tiger bread) I've worked an early shift and been to kickboxing. I'm not flopping, watching a documentary on the use of amphetamines by the Germans and the British in WWII. What do people think of my food? The hardest part is not eating any more. Also, I'm a week on T!! #huel #vegan #edrecovery #ednosrecovery #bulimiarecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #bingeeatingrecovery #ftm #ftmfitness #trans #transfitness #transition #transmasc #leosselfmedicatingjourney https://www.instagram.com/p/B3DAEThDjrp/?igshid=19nkiv1qje3xi
2 notes
·
View notes
🚨BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!🎉 As you may know, this year I've taken steps to gain control over my eating habits and usher in a new lifestyle for myself when it comes to food and my relationship with it. What you may not know is that behind the scenes I've been working with a registered nutritionist to create up with my own Clean Eating Program, designed to help deal with the underlying causes of weight gain, binge eating, and disordered eating. The program launches December 9 and as a token of my gratitude for your continued support I'll be doing a *5 DAY LIVE STREAM CHALLENGE* starting this Sunday November 25th and one (or more) people will win a FREE Pass to my Clean Eating Overhaul!!! Over the course of this next week I will be sharing information about the program and weight loss in general via IG stories, so check those out now if you'd like more information. You can sign up for my 5 Day Live Stream Challenge and enter for your chance to win a FREE pass to my new program by clicking the link in my bio!💕💕💕 And as always, thank you for the love! www.roxyleeheart.com/live-stream-challenge-sign-up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #cleaneating #eatclean #cleaneatingrecipes #cleaneatingprogram #weightlossprogress #weightlosstransformation #weightlossjourney #weightlossmotivation #weightlosstips #weightlossdiet #weightlossprogram #veganfit #veganlifestyle #vegangirl #vegandiet #bingeeatingrecovery #bingeeating #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #portioncontrol #dietplan #mealplan #paleodiet https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqa5Qh9lGQJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=z8fy54sw08x1
9 notes
·
View notes
I know what you see when you look at this picture. Loose skin on thick legs, how my ribs stick out where my boobs are supposed to be. Make up less face that always makes me feel a little insecure. Broad shoulders that make me feel manly. But you should also see person passionate about her hobbies, person that wants to teach one day and make the world better place. And let's face it, my bare sleepy face is kinda cute after I spend entire night gaming 🎮 and my broad shoulders allows me to be so strong that I need no man to carry my bags 💪 and my thick thighs allows me to jump high on concerts, loose skin or not 🤷🏼♀️ so I see no problem! ✨ Guys, don't let your looks be more important than everything else about you. You were, are and will be so much more than that ❤️🦊 #edcommunity #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #bingeeatingrecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #bedrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edwarrior #edfamily #nourishnotpunish #recoverywarrior #recoveryisworthit #binge #bingeeating #selflove #bodyconfidence
3 notes
·
View notes
This is an important one in recovery. I noticed recently my inner critic had become the predominant voice. This goes hand in hand with slips. When we are struggling with an ED we can be so self critical. I noticed these negative thoughts that were popping up, the black and white thinking. I think it’s helpful to reframe them, to kill them with kindness. Staying in recovery, getting yourself back up from slips can be difficult. But it is always possible. You have all you need to do that. I know making self care, self compassion a priority not an after thought is huge for me. That means resting when I need to, getting back on my yoga mat, making time for things I enjoy. Listening to how I am talking to myself tells me a lot. If it’s negative it’s because I need to focus on my needs. I’ve never been a massive fan of affirmations. But I do believe this one: You can do hard things! #eatingdisorderecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecoverycommunity #edrecoverywarrior #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexianervosarecovery #atypicalanorexiarecovery #atypicalanorexia #bulimiarecovery #bulimianervosarecovery #hypothalamicamenorrhearecovery #hypothalamicamenorrhea #orthorexiarecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #osfedrecovery #antidietrevolution #ditchdietculture #selfcare #selfcompassion #fuckeatingdisorders #fuckanorexianervosa https://www.instagram.com/p/CRBDB-cJG7A/?utm_medium=tumblr
0 notes