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yndrgrl · 9 months

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yandere! bakugou uses you to get to someone else, but ends up falling for you instead

long ass fic. fem! reader. regular! au. enemies to lovers. lowkey crack! fic. tsundere! bakugou.

warnings: nsfw, noncon/dubcon, manipulation, somnaphilia (idk how to spell it), degrading, bullying, spitting, public sex, hatefuck

a/n: requests are open :) (plz request something, idk what else to write about 😭)

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"no." that's all you said. so flat, so robotic. that's all you wanted to say.

bakugou was a pushy man, however. "it wasn't a question."

"oh for real?" you gasped, putting both hands to your cheeks to show your faux shock. "no."

"listen, you're gonna help me win over uraraka-"

"no, i'm not, bakugou," you denied once more. you don't even know why he came to you in the first place. it was clear as day that uraraka had a major crush on izuku, & izuku liked uraraka just as much.

honestly, what surprised you the most is that bakugou even had a crush. i guess it makes sense that it would be on uraraka though.

"yes, you are because i have something over you," bakugou threatened lowly.

you scoffed, "oh, do you now?" there wasn't really much he could have over you that would make you help him-

he slammed a journal on the desk, a slam echoing throughout the library. it was your personal diary.

you lunged for your journal, but he snatched it & threw it into his bag. you screamed at him, "how'd you get that, you sicko?!" the only way he would've gotten that was by breaking into your dorm room.

"are you going to help me or not?"

yes, you could've bought a nicer, leather journal with handcrafted pieces of paper, glued recent pictures of your life & decorated the pages with washi tape, stickers, & colored markers, but you didn't want to start over yet. your journal is a year & a half old, every page nearly filled; it's a deep dive into your mind. every overwhelming event in your life, every good memory, every goal you strive to achieve is written down in that book. bakugou katsuki had that all in his possession.

that's why, two days after you found out what he has, you're sitting with your usual study group in your designated, outdoor study area-- plus bakugou. your bluetooth speaker played a playlist shared throughout the group. you sat on the edge with uraraka beside you & bakugou across from you.

"y/n," someone said, catching your attention; it was uraraka. "i didn't know you & bakugou were friends."

you wanted to laugh. you quickly told her, "we're not-"

"we're good friends," katsuki overlapped with his lie. his scowl upturned into the smallest smile when uraraka glanced up at him.

"oh wow, i had no idea! the two of you are so hard-headed, i wouldn't have expected the two of you to get along so great," she said back with a giggle. you loved uraraka, but she's too friendly sometimes.

bakugou, trying to play into the cool-bad-boy character, said, "yeah, well she makes it hard sometimes, but it helps when she has cute friends, i guess."

never in your life did you think you would hear big, tough bakugou flirt in your life.

they continued their conversation that you tuned out, rereading your notes & constructing plans on how to get your journal so you could expose him. everyone was invested in their own stuff. obviously, bakugou & uraraka were talking amongst themselves. momo was explaining to jirou & mina some math topic that they were sobbing about. tsu was on her laptop as she tried finishing a power point that was due the next day.

your chin was propped up by your hand, humming the song that started playing. "um, excuse me," a masculine voice called out. it caught the attention everyone at the table. you heard bakugou scoff, & you could only assume he rolled his eyes.

you looked up at the source of the voice. he was right in front of you, face red, cheeky smile. he was cute in the way that a puppy eager for a treat was. "you're y/n, right?"

"yeah, i am," you confirmed, matching his grin.

he introduced himself by saying his name & told you that he was in the hero-support program. he then said, "i just wanted to say that you're just really pretty."

compliments were one thing. compliments from complete strangers always messed you up though. "oh, th-thanks." you're so awkward.

"so like, maybe i could get your number, & we could go on a date or two?"

you glanced back at all your friends, who all had big smiles as a way of non-verbally saying, "get your manz, bitch!!"

bakugou on the other hand, had an expression of confusion & anger-- the anger was permanent though.

"i mean, i don't give out my phone number, but maybe we can snap or something?"

the guy nodded with enthusiasm, pulling out his phone to give you his username. "cool, well sorry for wasting your guys' time," the boy said to you friends before turning to you & saying, "i'll hit you up later?"

"can't wait," you replied back.

as soon as he was out of earshot, mina squealed, "oh my god! you're such a flirt!"

jirou teased, "you're so awkward, it's literally so funny."

"you're my pretty best friend," tsu croaked with a laugh.

"guys, nothing is gonna happen," you said with a blush. "i'm just gonna be his friend."

"how does it feel to be hit on for the first time, loser?" bakugou yawned, as if he's been hit on ten million times by fan girls & milfs or something.

mina retaliated, "what are you talking about? y/n gets hit on all the time!"

uraraka jumped in, "yeah, what's was that? guy number five?"

"y/n?" bakugou questioned, & all your friends nodded. "that thing? doubt it."

"what's there to doubt? you just saw it," you growled at him, he annoyed you so badly.

after that study session, he got uraraka's number like he hoped for, but he was more curious about you. he never realized until that day how often you do actually get men's attention. bakugou always assumed you were some bookworm, writer nerd who leeched off of his darling, uraraka for popularity & personality.

"i don't get it," bakugou muttered, staring at your figure across the cafeteria. he was surrounded by his friends, who all followed his gaze.

kirishima groaned, "dude, just ask uraraka out already." it was routine that bakugou would say something about how shitty nerd, deku, isn't good enough for her affections or how he would be a better match for her.

"no, it's not that," bakugou corrected, glare not breaking off of you. this caught kirishima, denki, sero, & mina -who sometimes sat with you as well- off guard.

"what are you talking about, bro," denki asked.

"i don't get it. she's not even that cute," bakugou scoffed, slouching back into the bench. his eyes finally tore away from you & awase from class 1-b.

"who?"

"y/n, i think," mina assumed, & when bakugou didn't deny it, they all knew she was right. "why does it even bother you?"

"it doesn't," he said, glancing back at you. awase left you, & in his place was the floating, fighting machine uraraka. he didn't feel the need to say anything about her though, but he felt like he had to. "she's weird, uraraka shouldn't even be friends with her."

"there it is," sero sighed, making all the others laugh.

"shut up," bakugou scowled at them. everyone was used to it, so they weren't that threatened.

"but seriously, bakubro, don't hate on y/n just cuz she's best friends with uraraka, & you're jealous," kirishima told him. he always did this to the blonde. he wasn't scared to tell him off.

bakugou, infuriated, yelled, "i'm not jealous of her, okay? it's just stupid how she has everyone wrapped around her finger, so don't be some dumb, y/n defenders. hop off her fuckin' dick."

"i'm just saying, man. she's super cool, has a useful quirk, & is an awesome fighter," kirishima said, holding his hands as a way to show he was backing down.

"if i were you, bakugou, i would be trying to be her friend," mina said.

mina's words played on repeat in bakugou's head for a week. it was driving him crazy. even though that bridge of being friends was already burned & he kept telling himself he doesn't care, he can't help but want to be closer to you.

he said it was all for uraraka in the end. after all, when they were texting the other day, she said that she would want a future partner to get along with her friends or else it'll be a deal breaker.

bakugou deduced that if he was on favorable terms with you that uraraka would fall for him-- & maybe you too. he felt himself physically jolt when he thought that. why in fucks name would he want you to fall for him? he thought for a second. it's not like he wants to be with you or anything, but he doesn't want you with anyone else.

he somehow found himself in front of your dorm door past curfew. bakugou, at this time, was usually asleep, dreaming about a life where him & uraraka lived happily ever after. however, tonight was different. he didn't feel like thinking about the short-haired brunette.

he doesn't even know why he's outside your door.

in his head, he rationalized that he just loves uraraka so much that he'd give up sleep to become your friend. it was such an urgent situation that he didn't even bother putting on shirt.

he fished in his sweatpants' pocket for a lock pick, the same one he used to break into your dorm the first time to steal your journal. bakugou jammed it into the lock, opening the door with ease. he shut the door carefully before stalking further into your room.

there you were on your bed. swaddled in your fluffy duvet, cuddling a stuffed animal. you must've felt his presence because your sleeping self started shifting & ended up kicking off your blanket. you ended up on your stomach, one leg crunched towards your side while the bottom leg laid straight. you faced away from bakugou.

his breath hitched, something inside him twitched. bakugou couldn't help but stare. he had to admit that you had the body of his dream girl. wait no, his dream girl was uraraka-

he cut his own thoughts off when he saw how your ass looked in that position. the blue hue from the moonlight flowed into the room because, for some reason, you felt no need to close your curtains. he could make the shape of you so clearly. he reached for you.

he told himself that he wouldn't be cheating on his soon-to-be lover. it's just a touch, a friendly touch that friends share with each other.

his fingertips ghosted over your exposed thighs. you were wearing nothing but thong & an oversized band tee. the gentle touches turned into full-palm caresses. her skin is so smooth, bakugou thought. he loomed closer to you, inhaling deeply. she smells so nice.

he climbed over you with the agility of a shadow. the bed didn't even creak. he kneeled over legs, & his hands found your plush ass. he kneaded your bare butt, shifting you so you were fully on your stomach. you remained unmoving; you usually take melatonin gummies right before bed anyways.

bakugou kept groping your ass while his cock hardened into its full length. his hands wandered, thumbs grazing over your entrance. he grasped you, & he spread your ass cheeks apart. you must be dreaming about something dirty because your thong was soaked.

bakugou readjusted himself so he was on level with your ass. "this is just what friends do," he hazily whispered to himself. "friends help friends get better."

he blew on the wet patch, watching your pussy twitch through your panties. bakugou waited for a second, trying to grasp at any sort of self-control but, when you subconsciously propped your ass higher for him, he couldn't help it. he mentally apologized to uraraka before he dove into your ass.

his tongue licked your clothed slit, & he felt how thin your thong truly was. he only got an inkling of what you tasted like, & he craved more. bakugou lapped you juices through your panties, dampening the light grey cloth into a darker shade. his jaw hinged open to allow his tongue to delve further down.

he found your clit through your thong. he pressed his tongue against you, & sleeping, unsuspecting you let out a moan. "oh fuck," bakugou whispered in response, diving back into your pussy.

he pulled your thong up. it rode higher in your ass, then the part the was covering your pussy disappeared between your lips.

he started eating you out again, groaning in pleasure when he finally got to touch your bare skin. he slurped your juices over & over.

bakugou didn't realize that he pulled his sweatpants & boxers down to his knees. he pulled away from your pussy, a string of your juices & his saliva connecting him to you.

on his knees, he positioned his big cock between your ass. a moment of clarity hit him, it wasn't right, he knew that deep down. you really didn't do anything to him.

your phone next to your pillow buzzed. he grabbed it, his hung cock still pressed against you. it was a message from uraraka that read, "wait what did you wanna tell me about bakugou earlier? you looked so concerned haha."

you were trying to tell him? what a fucking bitch, bakugou thought with pure hatred. you were trying to sabotage him with your words, your pretty little mouth, with your dumb, stupid body.

his rationality was once again thrown out of the door. uraraka would want me to show y/n her place, he thought. he climbed off of you. he had to show you what your mouth was meant for. your mouth wasn't meant for snitching, it was meant for sucking cock-- his cock.

bakugou turned your head & pulled it at the edge of the bed. thankfully, it's like your body already knew what was gonna happen, your mouth was already agape. he pushed his tip past your lips. your tongue lazily stroked against his length. he moved his dick in & out of your throat, & yet somehow you still remained motionless.

his control turned into animalistic thrusts, gagging you over & over, & you still stayed asleep. "fuckin' stupid bitch," he groaned, throwing his head back. your throat expanded with each thrust to accommodate his thickness & length.

spit & his precum spilled out of your mouth & onto your silk pillowcase. because you were sideways, his heavy balls slapped against your face, nose shoved into his pubes. you gargled & gagged in your sleep, but you still handled him so well.

his passionate angry finally swelled up & shot down your throat. even though he was cumming, he kept half-assed thrusting in your throat, coating every inch with white. all for uraraka, remember? because bakugou completely forgot what drove him to do what he just did.

the next day, as you entered the classroom, he heard you tell to uraraka about how the melatonin gummies really worked. "yeah, i was completely knocked out! i drooled so much, my pillow was drenched. it was disgusting."

"really? i know that they're good, but i never drooled that much. maybe you really needed that sleep."

as they passed bakugou's seat, uraraka waved at him with pink cheeks. "hey, bakugou."

"uraraka," he said back to her. he watched your smile drop into a frown, your eyes rolling. he was winning over uraraka, he knew that, but he didn't feel satisfied. he yearned the banter between the two of you more than uraraka's affections. "what was that, idiot?"

uraraka was shocked at first, thinking he was talking to her until she heard you shoot back, "shouldn't you be watching ochaco instead of me?" if he didn't know any better, it sounded like you were jealous.

"y/n, let's calm down," uraraka sheepishly suggested, but it only angered you more. why was she on that weirdo's side? why wasn't she on your side? even after you told her what he did to you, she didn't even care; in fact, she seemed flattered.

"yeah, calm down," bakugou chimed in with that disgusting, cocky smile, "go in the back & drool all over your desk."

"eavesdropping now? you really are obsessed," you huffed, marching towards your desk that was, in fact, in the back of the classroom. you thought uraraka was right behind you, but by the time you turned around to sit in your chair, you noticed her take a seat next to bakugou.

the bell rang, & in rolled your sleepy teacher, mr. aizawa. he called roll, held an hour long lecture while you took notes, then assigned a 4-page essay with three sites sources. after he was done, he questioned, "now that we're done with that, what is happening today?"

iida's hand shot up along with his entire body.

"go ahead, iida."

"the 1a students from ketsubutsu academy are training with us today." oh right, you completely forgot about that. you were not in the mood to socialize with those uptight, cocky rich kids today. even though you took the melatonin gummies the night before to ensure a goods night sleep, you got everything but that. you felt like you were melting all night, & now you just felt restless.

"good, iida is correct," mr. aizawa confirmed. "they're already waiting in training facility a, so get dressed & be there in 10 minutes."

"yes sir!" & they all scurried out of the classroom.

your entire class entered the facility in their hero costumes. like mr. aizawa said, the visiting students were already there, stretching & warming up. mr. aizawa, once he noticed his entire class, announced that on the white board was everyone's names & assigned training group for the day.

everyone, including the other class, crowded around the board to find their names. "y/n!" your best friend, who you were extremely pissed off at, cheered. "we're all in the same group!" we... all?

you look at uraraka to see who she was referring to. "it's just my luck," you groaned, of course it was bakugou. "i just had to be put in a group with you!" you wanted to shout at everyone. you wanted to shout at uraraka for being swooned by a creep, you wanted to yell at mr. aizawa for putting you in a group with bakugou, & you wanted to scream, jump, yell, & hit bakugou over the head with a bat just for being the aggravating, prideful bastard he is.

"we just had to have a weak fuckin' nerd in your group?" he said to uraraka, but glanced to his side to meet your eye. your fuming expression really got him going. "there's no one more annoying than you-"

"are you y/n?" someone questioned. that just be the last person in your group.

you looked up at him, & with a half-hearted smile, you said, "i am."

"nice, i'm in your group," he told you, "i'm yo shindo. & i must admit, i was not excited for this whole group training thing until i saw a pretty girl like you was in my group."

oh, so he was a flirt? honestly, you didn't mind at all; you needed something to distract you & what's a better distraction than a buff playboy?

"honestly me too, but i think it'll be fun with you," you said back, but you overthought what you said. was it cringy?

bakugou was watching the whole exchange, brows furrowed, vein popping through his skin on his forehead. uraraka noticed, & because with the new-found knowledge that bakugou really liked her, she stroked his arm & asked, "are you okay?"

he looked at her with the same look of anger, now mixed with discomfort, & shrugged her off. "yeah, i'm fine."

he turned his attention back to you & shindo. bakugou's hands sparked ever so suddenly when he took in the scene in front of him. you were eating up all of shindo's praises & brags. your hands tried to squeeze around his biceps but you just couldn't connect your hands. "wow, your muscles are so big~ you must be strong."

"of course i am, i gotta be so i can impress pretty girls like you after all," he winked at you. for a moment, you glanced at bakugou, feeling his harsh glare, & he looked like he was about to explode. you didn't know why though, doesn't he have what he wanted already? he has uraraka right there, & yet he's still mad at you. he still owes you your journal too, so the two of you were not on good terms.

"sorry, i didn't mean to get carried away," you told shindo, pulling your hands away.

as the two of you walked towards uraraka & bakugou, shindo said, "i don't mind, you can touch me wherever, whenever."

you couldn't help but laugh out loud. "god, you're such a flirt!"

"you seem to love it though-"

"y/n, would you stop being a hoe for one second & train like you're supposed to?" bakugou said to you, hands stuffed inside his pockets, looking so nonchalant. you blinked a moment, & you waited for uraraka to say something or to rush by your side. she didn't do any of that

all she said was, with a giggle & eyes staring at bakugou, "that was mean." yeah, it was. it really was. the tips of your ears burned in humiliation, your palms became sweaty, & your breathing was uneven. after uraraka was done ogling bakugou, she looked at you, & her eyes widened. never in her entire childhood friendship did she see that expression on your face.

"dude, i don't know who think you are, but don't talk to her like that," shindo said, stepping forward & slightly in front of you. your tense shoulders relaxed just a bit-- someone is in your corner.

the amused bakugou turned pissed off when your new, little boy-toy went to your rescue, even though he knew you didn't need rescuing. "h-hey, let's save it for training, yeah-"

"i'll talk to y/n however i want, damn weak fuck," bakugou replied, copying his movements & stepping forward. "you're just like her: fucks anything that moves, huh?"

"bakugou-"

"that's it!" you shouted as you shoved bakugou away from shindo. the three of them -bakugou, uraraka, & shindo- were shocked to say the least. he pushed you too far all for entertainment & some obsession. "you're such a goddamn coward, you know that? all you are is a bully who's play-pretending to be a hero! you're such a control freak that, even after you stole my best friend, you still need to have something over me, so you won't give me back my stupid journal. & worst of all, you just stare & glare & act like i'm scum when you're the actual piece of shit! & you're not even ashamed! you want everyone to know! i hate you so much!"

after your tangent/rant, you walked away, quirk firing left & right. you didn't need to hear whatever bakugou was going to say next, it was probably be something so degrading that winds up in her next journal entry.

the three of the gawked at you, watching you walk straight to the state-of-the-art punching bags. uraraka was the first to speak. "i'll talk to her. i've never seen her that... mad. it was like she was a whole new person-"

"you guys are terrible classmates. there was no reason to say any of that. i'll go talk with her," shindo cut uraraka off. before either of them could do anything, bakugou was already strutting towards you, gauntlets sparking.

"who does she think she is?" they heard him utter. they were out of earshot, however, when he said, "making me fuckin' hard then walking away. damn tease."

he caught up to you in no time. you were almost to the punching bags when he grabbed your wrist, his hand was warm & a stinging sensation engulfed your wrist.

uraraka & shindo watched as the two of you screamed at each other, you shoving him, him glaring at you, you throwing a piece of your costume at him. honestly, it would've been comedic if it wasn't for bakugou pressing your buttons.

"what are they? toxic exes or something?" shindo questioned as they began to walk towards the fighting two.

"oh, no, not at all! i would've known," uraraka told him, "they're just... um... friends i think. maybe enemies."

"i can tell that much."

when the actual training began, you & bakugou tried to separate from each other. you were paired with shindo & him with uraraka. but, because of the conditioning & the way today's training was set up, it was inevitable that you two would interact again.

like at lunch, the two of you sat across each other at a table, eating your lunches. you didn't bother speaking, you didn't even want to see bakugou ever again, after all.

or at the water fountain, when he said, "hurry up." & so you took longer, even though you weren't thirsty anymore.

or when you had to rotate partners & bakugou was your only option. the two of you, against the rules, threw quirk-backed attacks each other.

& that's how you two ended up being excused early. while everyone else was getting better, you were locked out & forced to change back into your school uniform, & the only person with you was bakugou.

when you left the changing room, he was leaning against the wall-- almost like he was waiting for you. "you done being mad at me?"

"no, i'm not, & i'll never stop being mad at you," you said, walking right past him. he followed close behind you.

"listen, i didn't mean to embarrass you. i didn't know you'd get so pissy."

"what did you think was gonna happen?!"

"i don't know, okay?" the two of you were yelling at this point.

"you have ochaco, can you please just give me my journal & leave me alone? you two can be happy far, far away from me," you said, cursing yourself for choking up. you mentally prepared for the teasing & "witty" comebacks bakugou had in store.

instead, he asks, "are you jealous?"

"what?"

"are you jealous?"

you scoffed, opening the door to the dorm building. "don't flatter yourself, big guy."

"i'm being serious," he said to you as he leaned on the counter. you were so hungry that you didn't really care bakugou was watching you cook. "because i was."

"what are you getting at, bakugou?" you asked, putting a pot of water on the stove, bringing it to a boil.

"i was so jealous today," he said.

"of what?"

"of damn shindo kid," he responded back. your angered expression contorted into a puzzled one as you looked up at him. when you didn't reply, he continued, "if i knew stupid one liners got your attention, i would've been doing that sooner."

you couldn't believe what you were hearing. the guy who's been making the past few months hell was confessing something you never expected. "what about ochaco, hm? i thought you needed her to breath or something."

"yeah, i guess i liked her at first, & that's why i needed your help," he admitted. he then fished a journal, your journal, out of his bag & stood up. he walked towards you, hand outstretched with your beloved diary in his grasp. you reached out for it when he lifted it above your head with a taunting smirk. "but then i realized that i wanted you this entire time."

--nsfw starts here--

"you're just saying stupid things to get a rise out of me, bakugou," you rolled your eyes at him. you placed a hand on his chest as you jumped for your journal, fingers touching it ever so lightly. it was just out of reach.

you thought you had it, he brought the notebook down. however, you didn't have it. he threw it on the counter behind you, & the hand the was holding it snakes around your waist. his other hand grabbed your face, stroking your cheek as he kissed you.

you don't know why, but you found your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. without breaking your lips apart, he pushed you against the counter, pinning you between his two arms now. his tongue, the tongue that craved you since that unknown night, licked your lips before fighting yours for dominance. his thigh was between your legs. he pressed your core against him, & you moaned.

bakugou shut off the burner during your kiss. he was expecting the two of you to escape into his room, but when you threw off his tie & unbuttoned his shirt eagerly, he knew he needed you right then & there.

the two of you broke your kiss, & he placed his head in the crook of your neck. "you get off on making me jealous, don't you? that's why you were flirting with stupid shindo?"

"wh-whatever, you jerk. you act like you weren't basically grinding on ochaco in front of me all the time?"

bakugou laughed into the nape of your neck. "grinding? all we did was talk."

"same fuckin' thing," you growled in frustration.

"i didn't know you were so jealous of her."

"oh, fuck off, asshole," you said. you were quickly shut up by him biting your sensitive spots all over your neck, sucking & licking to create hickeys.

he took off your tie & ripped open your shirt. he unhooked your bra, throwing it god knows where. "take this fuckin' thing off," he uttered, helping you out of your torn clothes.

"h-hey!"

"shut up, & take it. i'll buy you a new one," he said before fondling your breasts. you bit your lip as your grinded against his meaty thigh. your wetness, even though you had panties on, began staining his slacks.

"bakugou~" you whispered, voice shaking.

"it's katsuki tonight, dummy," he told you, turning you around & bending you over the counter. you brushed your journal out of the way as you pressed you tits onto the cold, granite countertop.

with three fingers, he pinched your pussy through your panties so his middle one snuck in between your lips. "stop being a tease & fuck me already." if only you knew.

"be patient, woman," scowled katsuki, smacking your ass. he set of small sparks when he hit your cheek. "you can't take this cock yet. i'm doing you a goddamn favor."

you doubted him, you really did. he was so cocky & arrogant, how could you not? "i can take your tiny dick any day, don't underestimate me."

katsuki let out a hearty, sarcastic laugh. "you really think so, dumb bitch?" he unclicked his belt, dropping his pants & boxers around his ankles. he started to grind against your ass, & you swore up & down it felt like deja vu.

you gasped as you felt his length between your ass. you've had dreams about cocks that big, sure, but you didn't know they actually existed. "wh-what the fuck?"

"what? still think you take me? still think i'm tiny, sweetheart?" katsuki taunted as he took off your panties. he pressed your thighs around his cock, the base of it stimulating your swollen clit. he thrusted gently; it was so against his brash, aggressive character.

you were not one to back down, so at least you stayed true to your character. "yeah, i can take your skinny ass dick-" you were cut off by katsuki spreading your ass & shoving his girthy length into your throbbing heat. you screamed, tongue hanging out of your mouth as you tried to adjust to him.

he wouldn't let you though. katsuki, once inside your tight pussy, started pounding you. he shoved his cock head into your g-spot over & over, making you quiver & pulsate around him. "sl-sl-slow d-down!" you begged between thrusts. in response, he pulled your head back with your hair. you arched uncomfortably; your pelvis was still against the edge of the counter, but your head was pulled so far back that you could see katsuki's face.

"you think you're all that? you think you can just flirt with all these other guys in front of me? you fuckin' slut," he spat into your mouth, not that it mattered since it mixed with your drool & fell out of your mouth & onto your cold body. "i own you now. i own this mouth, i own this pussy, i own this ass, i own you."

"f-f-"

"c'mon, pathetic whore. say it."

"fuck y-you, katsuki." oh, you were a brat through & through clearly.

katsuki has had enough of your retaliation. you were supposed to be a brainless bimbo begging for more, yet here you were, surprising him again. any bit of consciousness you had, he was going to fuck out if you.

he, without pulling out, let go of your hair & made you stand up. he grabbed both your legs & hoisted you into this air. his hands found their way behind your head, & you couldn't move. you were nothing more than a cum dumpster to him now. "you know, if anyone walks through that door, they're gonna see you folded in half, tears streaming down your face with my cock balls deep in your dripping pussy, & they'd realize how much of a slut you are, & they'd know that you're all mine."

you didn't mean to, but your pussy clenched around his cock tighter as more of your juices squirted onto the linoleum floor. "oh, you like that, princess?"

you moaned in response, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he praised you. "aw, how pathetic. you must love when i call you cute nicknames & tell you how good you're doing." with whatever head movement you had, you nodded.

"that's a shame because you've been nothing but dirty, i can't treat you like a good girl until you deserve it."

"p-please! i'll do anything!" you cried out, then you started twitch uncontrollably around him. a white, hot wave of pleasure washed over you as you creamed all over his cock. he wasn't done yet, he still abused your cervix, making you beg for him to stop, or at least slow down.

his thrusts turned rapid as he started to groan about how you were all his, how he wasn't going to let any other man look at you, how he would be the only one you ever think about. you knew that was all true. "y/n, you fuckin' bitch, i hate you & your pretty, little face. take it all," he yelled as he unloaded his load into your tight pussy.

you screamed in overwhelming pleasure, squirting all over him once again. the two of you caught your breaths. he set you down once his cock finally stopped twitched, & he spun you around to embrace you. "i'm so sorry, y/n. i promise i'll be the best boyfriend in the world, just give me a chance. i know we're enemies or whatever, but i don't wanna be that anymore, & i don't want to be whatever this is; just fucking like we hate each other then go our separate ways." you've never seen this side of katsuki before.

"i-i'd like that, i'd like to be your girlfriend."

you hated him. you hated how he made you feel. you hated how he infected your mind, how he ruined you for any other man. you hated how you knew you needed him.

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stariikis · 10 days

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ni-ki as your study date •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

synopsis ; the price you paid for choosing an athletic boyfriend over an academic one? no practical help when you're drowning in mysterious equations and symbols. but at least he's good at comforting the perfectionist in you.

pairing ; athletic!nishimura riki x academic achiever!reader genre ; fluff, established rs wc ; 802 warnings n notes ; dear readers, these two are mentally suffering because one doesn't care and the other cares too much! trigger warning, bio phys chem and math mentioned..

“-And during PE we played badminton, and Jake hyung was soooo bad today. He kept trying to smash but missed the shuttlecock.” Beside you, with his “I-swear-I’ll-finish-three-chapters-today” Physics textbook hardly opened to the first page, Riki doesn’t stop rambling about the various sports he’s played today. You’ve heard enough about the goals he scored during an impromptu morning game of football. The way his best friend fumbled during a badminton match. How his legs ache from standing in the sun for hours during baseball training. You’re about to tug him out the cafe by his jersey.

“Are you going to start your notes or what?” You shove him with a lighthearted tone, barely concealing the exasperation behind your words. “All that talk about wanting to finally get an A but you still keep yapping. About sports, no less.”

Riki rolls his eyes and mock-salutes in your direction. “Yes, ma’am.”

Taking a sip of your matcha latte, you sigh resolutely and return to examine various electronic configurations. Perhaps now, Riki will leave you in peace…

Only five minutes later, you’re snapped out of focus with a sheepish nudge.

“What’s a moment…” “OH my days Nishimura Riki how can you not know what a moment is that’s like basic physics you’re supposed to have known that since we started chapter TWO.”

Shrinking under your scoldings, he glances back at his textbook, reads the definition and looks back towards you. “I don’t get it.”

With another heavy sigh, you scoot closer and attempt to explain as simply as you possibly can. However, he’s deliberately distracting you, with playful caresses through your hair and touches of kisses as smooth as silk on your cheek. You’ve got to be turning a beetroot red, but you ignore the warmth spreading through your cheeks and continue on.

“Now repeat what I just said to you.” Refusing to give in to his silly antics, you cross your arms and lean back. Swiping the hair his fingers touched, not too long ago, out the way.

He pouts, knowing him acting cute is your soft spot. “That’s not fair.”

“Why?” You press, but relent and hunch back over your notes. “You know what, just focus on relearning your balanced forces. Do you remember what the principles of moments even is?” Oh wait, he doesn’t even know what a moment is. The way he blinks once at his textbook and blinks twice your way proves this.

“At this point, I’m not dead, you’re more cooked than I am. And I am cooked.”

Gasping scandalously, he whisper shouts, “You’re literally my academic goal, what are you on? I wish I had the motivation you did. Okay, more like I wish I had your grades, but we both know that’s not happening.”

He gestures to all the bruises he’s obtained over the past week, scratches and wounds that demonstrate how dedicated he is to all the sports he partakes in. They’re his own personal souveniers. Although most fade quickly, some leave scars burning in his skin, but he’s proud of them all even when you express your concern for him.

He’s always been like that. Dismissive of concerning matters because he enjoys showing people how strong he is. Internally and externally. The complete opposite of him, one Maths question you get wrong and you start questioning the very bane of your existence.

You fall into silence, looking back at your notes. You have lost track of where Chemistry starts and ends, your paper copy of the periodic table crumpled and defaced from your bursts of frustration. You may not show it, but there’s so much going on in your head it’s hard to escape the fog you’ve mentally put yourself in. With the crazy STEM course you’ve chosen, you know that you’re definitely on the train tracks with a sign pointing towards a crash site.

Either you shut yourself out and pass with flying colours, or you enjoy life and fail miserably. There’s no in between. Is it so hard to want to maintain a social life and a healthy relationship, while topping your class and achieving high honours? Perhaps it is.

Noticing your sudden stillness, Riki panics. “You’re stressing out again. Why are you stressing out again? You’re doing well. Well, compared to me. Should I just do bio? Things with numbers are always complicated..”

You laugh as he looks back at his noteless textbook.

“Anyway, I think you’re doing just fine.” Riki murmurs, massaging your back with his hand. “Don’t overwork yourself and you’ll be fine. Just like you were, and always will be. Do you want me to test you?”

“That’d be nice…” You smile, watching his eyes light up a little too eagerly when he closes his textbook. “But you’re just saying that so you don’t have to study anymore, right?”

how life be feeling rn, send prayers

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harrysfolklore · 2 months

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valentine

a valentine’s day blurb inspired by this song ! i hope you guys like it 💓

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

Four months ago you agreed to be Harry's girlfriend, and it was safe to say that those months have been filled with happiness that you've never felt before.

You met Harry through your longtime friend, Anthony, who happened to be Harry's tour photographer. Anthony had insisted for months that you needed to come to one of Harry's shows so he could introduce you two, because he felt that you would get along perfectly, but you remained skeptical. You weren't one to easily warm up to new people, especially not someone as famous and charismatic as Harry.

But fate had its own plans.

You finally attended the famous Love On Tour when it was brought to Wembley Stadium, and you were convinced that it was the best concert you had ever been to.

You got to meet Harry and just as Anthony predicted, you hit it off right away. You texted daily, face-timed and every time he had small breaks from tour he traveled to visit you.

One of those times he ditched everything to spend time with you in the comfort of your small but cozy apartment, he asked you to be his girlfriend now you were about to celebrate your first Valentine's day together.

"You and me, movies and dinner at my place for Valentine's day, how does that sound?" Harry said over FaceTime, you had adopted the tradition of calling each other while you did your night routines, it was clingy but you secretly loved it.

"Valentines day? Is that a thing for you?" you replied, spreading your moisturizer on your face.

"Baby, I did a world tour called Love On Tour, of course Valentines day is a thing for me!" you laughed at his expression, "Besides, this year I get to celebrate with my pretty girlfriend."

You instantly blushed, and by the smug smile on his face you knew he had achieved his goal.

"You know, I never know to respond when you call me pretty," you admitted, trying to play it cool, "Do I tell you that you're pretty too? Can I say that? Don't have a clue."

"Yes, love. You can tell me that I'm pretty too."

As Valentines day approached, you weren't what kid of gift you should get for Harry, it was pretty much the first time you had someone as "your valentine", so you struggled a lot to figure out what would be the perfect gift to give your boyfriend of four months.

You settled for a personalized leather-bound journal, you wrote a nice and heartfelt message on the first page expressing your feelings for Harry and recounting some of your favorite memories together over the past four months. You knew Harry appreciated thoughtful gestures, and you hoped this gift would show him just how much he meant to you, since sometimes it was hard for you to express it with words.

With the gift box and a homemade apple pie you decided to bake last minute you headed to Harry's house, when you got there the door swung open and you were met with a cozy Harry, clad in a brown jumper and some sweatpants.

"Hey, love," he greeted, pulling you into a tight hug. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day," you replied, returning the embrace, "I brought you something," you handed him a small wrapped box, shyness and excitement in your voice.

"Is this a gift?" Harry's eyes lit up with curiosity as he took the box from you, "Baby, you didn't have to get me anything."

"Just open it."

Harry carefully unwrapped the box and took the journal from it, turning to you and smiling widely.

"This is so nice love, thank you," he kissed your lips quickly, "Your gift is upstairs, I'll give it to you later."

He sent you a wink and you rolled your eyes, you decided to begin with your movie night, pouring two glasses of wine and pressing play to "Crazy Stupid Love", one of your favorite romcoms.

Two bottles of wine and another movie later, both of you were pretty tipsy and clinging to each other, and you could feel a burst of confidence flowing through your body.

"Wanna know something?" you drunkenly asked, making him look at you, "I'm scared of flies, like absolutely terrified."

Harry couldn't help but laugh at your confession, "Are you now, love?"

"Yeah, I also think I'm scared of guys, well, at least I was because I dated soooo many douches in the past," you kissed his cheek playfully before continuing, "But now I'm with you and you're nice."

"Am I?" Harry teased, enjoying this new side of you he had not seen before.

"You are," you pecked his neck, "You're like, the first one to ever like me back and honestly, I can't believe I get to call you mine.

Harry smiled in total awe, his heart growing twice its size at your words.

"I feel the same way, love," he pulled you closer, "You make me really, really happy."

You snuggled into him, nuzzling your face into his neck and feeling tiredness take over you, you closed your eyes and enjoyed his warmth and smell.

"How the hell did I fall in love this time?"

You mumbled before you drifted off to sleep, but Harry heard it loud and clear and he felt like he could cry out of love.

"I love you too, silly girl."

He kissed your forehead and carried you to bed, he wasn't sure if you were going to remember your conversation, but he was ready to remind you that he loved you as soon as you woke up.

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lizzychanstuffss · 8 months

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May I... may I touch you?

Astartion x durge!reader

thank you @ferenofnopewood (also for being my beta reader!) for the inspo for this. We both went feral talking about this.

Synopsis: a simple rewrite of the Act 2 romance scene with durge and Astarion. Basically, this is just extra soft and I imagine it would be cute if he remembered you hugging him in the confession scene. Also this is totally my headcanon for my own durge but don't mind that

Of course as always spoilers for act 2!

Your head spun with bile and wrath, unable to sleep it off as you normally would try to do. But no matter what you did nothing seemed to calm the thundering headache forming at the edges of your mind. So without much other choice, you stood up. Your companions were blissfully sleeping while you wrestled with unseen demons. Once you got up you could see Astarion from across the still burning fire; his beauty was always apparent even when he was at rest.

But your silent admiration was rudely interrupted by a foul-sounding goblin butler.

"He is so afraid. So, so afraid of everyone besides you who he ought to fear the most." His words were clearly said with the intention of shaking your resolve. "You could do so much better." The goblins' tone disgusted you, how he could say such things and yet you know they rang true in Astarion’s own mind, he was so worried you could do better than some runaway vampire spawn. But these thoughts were clouding your judgment even more than the urge was and with that you shook your head as the thoughts faded to the background.

"Get away from him." The bile and raw, murderous intent that had been clawing at your insides broke out in a growl. But seemingly unimpeded by your defense he playfully hopped over Astarion, the thought of using your urge to protect him might not be all that bad of an idea.

Was he taunting you? It was a thought that crossed your mind and passed as he spoke again.

"I won't lay so much as a talon on him! I wouldn't rob you of that delight. Your clever mind is penning up a tragedy as we speak. Your repressed urge yearns to kill." He appraises a moment before continuing "And kill you will. Tonight, the moment you close your eyes, your favorite person will be brutalized." The words were a shock to your system. You couldn't let that happen not to him, not ever. The thought alone made you want to vomit that your own body would even consider it.

"I-I love him, No, I can't be" You couldn’t imagine losing no not him. He’s been the only person who didn’t judge, didn’t blame you, no matter how bad it got. You couldn’t bear to—

"We all kill what we love most, in time"

You choked back a sob.

"You like him for more than his looks, but he will never believe that. Why not make him a pretty corpse?" Your hands started to twitch as you let yourself briefly indulge in the fantasy of wrapping them around the wretched creature’s neck. If he really meant to taunt you into committing a murder he was certainly getting close to achieving that goal.

"He must live....I haven't yet told him how I truly feel about him." The felt less like a defense against the butlers goading and more like a reminder to yourself. What you were truly trying to achieve here. You have promised to protect Astarion. From Cazador, from yourself, it didn’t matter. And it was a promise you would never break…at least you hoped.

"Why not whisper it while you twist a knife? Or have a love confession be the final words between you? It is my duty to ensure you are making the right decisions, Master." He lets out a sigh mimicking a father in its nature. "There was much..disappointment at your reluctance to kill the little Moonmaiden. You could kill this one deliberately. I'm sure it will be considered a great show of good will. The tithe could still be yours." There it was again, the offer, the temptation…what you assumed was to be considered one. You still had no idea what this so-called tithe even could be; but you were certain you wanted nothing to do with it if it required such a foul murder.

"I will save him, whatever it takes."

"I do not doubt you will act with the decorum befitting one of your rank. Good night." And with that the butler was finally gone leaving you with a choice you had already made prior. Taking the initiative and kneeling besides Astarion you attempted to wake him. But as you went to reach for his shoulder your hand paused of it’s own violation, it itched to wrap itself around his throat and ruin him. You would not allow it, a battle against your own mind was something you had gotten accustomed to on this journey thus far and so once you were able to regain composure you went to wake him but he made quicker work of it then you could, questioning whether or not he was actually in a trance at all tonight.

"Well, hello. Looking for a cuddle?" he said, flirtatious as ever even in such a trying time for yourself. Although you were sure the look on your face gave way to his next set of words. "Although you don't look entirely...yourself. What's going on in that head of yours?"

That question was one you had to think about how to answer, and quickly. "Listen, now isn't the time...I need to protect you." You tried your best to convey the urgency of your situation as the headache overtook you again.

"All right, talk quickly, then." He seemed concerned, but there was something unsure about his expression as well.

"I'm going to kill the person I most care about: you."

You took a breath, it was ragged and barely enough to push the headache down for the moment, as you used the brief moment of clarity to gauge what Astarion’s reaction.

"Unless you can stop me." A faint glimmer of hope mingled with your voice as you practically pleaded with him. Astarion was a capable enough fighter, surely stopping you would be an easy enough feat.

"How flattering, And disturbing" he smiled "You could have talked to me before things got murderously bad, you know. We are technically in this together." He was using sass to cover nerves that you couldn’t help but notice. It was so like him even in the face of danger "It certainly puts the death of dear, sweet Alfira into some perspective." Those were the last words you heard before your vision blurred and your head grew into a dizzy blur and you fainted.

But when you awoke you were not in control, it was like watching from a window all you could do was try and tap on the glass. You tried your best to resist hurting him…although you realized quite quickly you were bound by your hands and feet. It gave you some relief to know that you could do little to rebel in this state.

"This thing won't have you. It won't win." You hoped those words were true. You tried your best to resist again expressing understanding. Instead your body reacts with a will of its own, it tried to bite at him. Which would have almost been funny any other time but now…now all you wanted to do was scream out in frustration.

"Ah ah ah! We ask before we bite.” He took this better than you expected, with a sigh he spoke again "You're cute, you know. In another life we might have been friends." Those words felt flippant in the moment, but you could tell there was an underlying sadness to them. If you’d been of your right mind you would have tried to comfort him. But comforting anyone was beyond you at the moment. All you could do was fight against your binding and your urge as it drove you to struggle against the bindings the kept you from hurting anyone, including yourself.

"Easy now, darling, You've got this. And I've got you." Those words gave you a strange comfort and a boost of determination. Feeling another wave of the urge you tried your best to resist and this time managed to express a sliver of thankfulness for his words.

"You'd do the same to me. Now just relax - dawn isn't far off." He wasn't wrong about that, as much as it was hard to admit he knew you better than you'd like to admit at times. The night passed on and without any bloodshed, a mercy from the gods. You once again returned to your mind, scared and exhausted.

Then, almost on cue, Astarion came to free you from your bindings. He sat in front of you, and a look of embarrassment crept onto your face as he spoke.

"I felt bad for the bard, seeing you like that. Poor Alfira never stood a chance, did she?" It wasn't really a question even if he posed it as one because the answer was clear as day. "Now that you're back with us," he paused, "We need to have a talk."

You had dreaded this moment but he was right. You needed to talk about this whether you wanted to or not. You sighed before trying to speak, but the words ended up getting caught in your throat. Suddenly you realized there were tears falling down your cheeks. You were unable to hold it back any longer. Any sort of strong front you had put on up unto this point faded in an instant and you were sat in front of him sobbing.

Concern formed on the man's face and he adjusted himself to get a little closer before asking "May I....may I touch you?" His words were gentle and meant to be calming - although almost anything said in his voice was calming. You gave him a nod. You weren't sure what he was going to do exactly but when he gently wrapped his around your shaking body in a similar fashion to how you had hugged him a few nights prior. Those tears started to flow even more. Nestling your head in the crook of his neck, tears wetted his rather flowy camp shirt.

"Sh, sh, you can let it all out." Those words caused the tears to flow even harder. Had you really been holding in all of this for so long? You didn't know. All you did know was that you really needed this: A gentle comfort from someone you loved so deeply as him. After a moment, he tentatively stroked your hair. Although you couldn’t help but wonder if his hesitation was because he wasn’t sure how to actually comfort someone or if he just didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. It didn’t really matter all that much, you didn’t care, you appreciated that he even tried in the first place.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, him just stroking your hair and holding you while you let out all the tears you needed to get out. By the time you could finally talk again your eyes were red and puffy, but he would never say a thing about it. As you removed yourself from his body, but only enough so you could get a look at his face he instinctively raised a hand up to caress your cheek before stopping but your answered his silent question by leaning into it. He wiped away some of your tears before gently running his thumb over your cheek. It was a soft gesture and much needed, his touch was welcome in that moment.

"So then, are you ready to talk now, or do you need to stain my shirt more first?" he joked. A small chuckle made its way across your lips, and a smile found its way to his lips as well.

"I suppose I am...I know I owe you an explanation" you sighed.

"You don't owe me anything” he corrected “But I would like an explanation."

You gave him a nod. He was right, of course. But considering you did almost kill him, explaining seemed like the least you could do.

You told him everything about “the dark urge” as you had taken to calling it. Well, everything you could remember. He sat there and listened patiently. But his face gave way to no emotion, no emotion, no fear just…..understanding.

Once you finished explaining, he replied, "You are not alone in this - none of us are. We can even compare notes if you like." His comforting words made you feel like a monster, it was refreshing.

You looked his face over, before you leaned into his hand again, closing your eyes as sadness began to overtake you. "You know you're allowed to hate me for this...I know I would" Your self-loathing rearing its ugly head, you couldn't help it; as much as his comfort was nice to hear the fact of the matter was you felt like a monster. Just some attack dog meant only to destroy everything and anything in your path.

"I don't hate you..because this," he made sure you kept eye contact during these words, his gaze was intense fully focused on you in this moment "This is not you" The words rang through you, and you wanted more than anything for that to be true…but it was hard to believe when killing just felt so natural to indulge in and it was just so easy to let the urge do the work. But in this moment you had to take him at his word; because if you didn't you were sure you were going to start sobbing again.

He pressed his forehead to yours before speaking again "Whatever this is though, you will get through it. And I will be here to make sure you do." A promise you hoped would be true.

#astarion #baulders gate 3 #astarion romance #astarion ancunin #astarion fanfic #dark urge #astarion x tav #bg3 astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x durge #astarion x mc #astarion x dark urge #astarionfics #my writing

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nesquiiksstuff · 6 months

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✎ ❝general relationship headcanons!❞

syzoth (feat. ashrah), baraka, raiden

love languages

fluff

thouple (syzoth + ashrah + reader)

thank you guys for so much support! im just going this hc thingy while I think up this for the raiden story (which hopefully won’t take too long). please enjoy!! ᰔ

ᰔ syzoth :: quality time and gift giving

he is not uncomfortable to talk about his passed family, honestly syzoth would enjoy if his partner was interested in that part of his life. whether it’s recommending visiting their grave site, or sharing his grief—is something that he greatly appreciates.

the reason ashrah and syzoth work so well is because they’re both trying to right their sins, having you be there and being supportive means the absolute world. he shows you that through small thoughtful gifts (mostly trinkets that he finds at markets or on his walks).

idk if anyone is actually interested in a thouple with them…but hear me out 🤲. I genuinely think ashrah and syzoth would be so well rounded and loving. date nights either in Shaolin’s gardens or mileena’s palace (probably in the library), always romantic with stereotypical candle light and a nice dinner. syzoth thinks it’s important to make it special as possible since there’s only a few times when you’re all together.

. . .

ᰔ baraka: acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch

what baraka truly needs is another leader. there is so much responsibility placed on his shoulders with the colony—but of course he would never truly ask you to help, he’s stubborn and well…has a guilty conscience. you would need to insert yourself without needing to be prompted. assertiveness and responsibility is something he finds extremely attractive, as well as being compassionate, gods knows that it’s also something he needs.

physical contact is foreign to him, after years of being alone once his family passed and being ill. he adores it when you bring some type of normalcy to touching him, though he’s the first to pull away. baraka knows the risk he puts you in everyday, if he can limit the chances of tarkat spreading to you—while still indulging this relationship, he will.

like asking for extra leadership—he wouldn’t pursue you. baraka wouldn’t ever expect another chance of love, in all honesty he would think that his pining is one sided. Though once you’ve established a relationship with him, he’s open with you. private moments with you are filled with him thanking you for the work you put in the colony, and how you treat not only him but others. even though he’s no poet, he makes sure you know he cherishes you.

. . .

ᰔ raiden: words of affirmation and quality time

usually he pursues people that he highly respects. you don’t have to do something exceptional, but having passion for your own beliefs is what he values in a person and especially in a partner. also it would be admirable if you were interested in his own goals and aspirations, after all raiden’s prospective has changed much once the events in outworld has passed.

raiden is humble…but he likes showing off to you—not exactly out of place of smugness but he enjoys when you are impressed at his talents. he smiles so brightly whenever you compliment him on his achievements or on his hard work in general. it’s probably one of his top motivation besides him genuinely enjoy what he’s doing.

if you two ever got the chance to go back to fengjian his first goal would to introduce you to his family, he has to be a mama’s boy. he cares deeply for his family and he wants you to feel included in that circle. besides visiting them, he’s taking you to see the sites and old hang out spots. leading you along by holding your hand keeping you close (I love him he’s so sweet ugh). it means everything that you’re willing to listen to his childhood stories and just with him in general to visit his hometown.

sadly i’m trying to keep his to minimum since my own little headcanons for him should show up in the story i’m writing for him :]

thank you for reading!

#baraka x reader #syzoth #mk1 x reader #mk1 #mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #raiden mk1 #syzoth mk1 #baraka #hcs #fluff #raiden x reader #x reader #ashrah #ashrah x reader #ashrah x syzoth #syzoth x reader

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milo-manheim-luver · 8 months

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Lips of An Angel- Drew Starkey x Fem!Reader

summary: based on the song Lips Of An Angel by Hinder. (take a listen! i recommend it!!) Y/N drunkenly calls up her ex boyfriend drew, to confess her love she still has for him and all her regrets from their past relationship.

warnings: odessa…., alcohol consumption, emotional cheating (if you even call it that), angst, a tad of fluff if you squint, slight mentions of physical/mental/emotional abuse (not from drew), lmk if i forgot anything bc i’m sure i did lol.

a/n: for starters…. i’ve been waiting to write this one and i was gonna do it for rafe first but it just felt more right to do drew lol. also please don’t come at me for the way i put odessa in this. (personal opinion: i don’t think they’re really a thing irl but whatever). for the sake of this fic i had to put her in it to work as she’s the only prominent female in his life besides his sisters so bare with me please. (personally not a fan of her for my own reasons and things i’ve read) hope you all enjoy this one!

revised and edited by the one and only @slut4drudy ilyyyyy

as drew had just put the last of the champagne glasses into the sink from his and odessa’s small get together with friends, he could hear his phone ringing that all too familiar ringtone… the ringtone he had set for only her. he thought to himself… how strange it’d be for her to call him at such an absurd hour after not talking to one another in two years.

him and Y/N had began to date their senior year of college at western carolina university, and just like every college couple, they eventually broke it off a few years later. it had been a mutual agreement when he got cast on netflix’s show, outer banks, as she didn’t want to hold him back any longer from achieving all the goals she knew he would. the two however kept in contact regularly until none at all just two years ago when she’d started dating her now boyfriend maverick. and from what Y/N seen drew had also moved on… to his costar odessa.

“hey, uh drew your phone is ringing. do you want me to get it?” odessa asked drew as he finished washing the champagne flutes, drying his hands hurriedly with the towel next to the sink.

“uh, nah, um i’ll go answer it. it might be my mom. you know her and not being able to sleep and missing her kids. i’m just gonna go in the reading room and take the call. i’ll be back out in twenty. sound good?” he asked warily.

“yeah yeah take your time. tell her i said hi for me” she smiled as his towering figure walked past her frame and into the living room, picking his phone up. his large thumb moved nimbly against his phones screen to answer the call from Y/N as he entered the reading room, plopping on the couch.

“h-honey, why you callin me so late? it’s kinda hard to talk right now” he stuttered out her pet name he hadn’t called her in years. all he received in return were her soft sobs from the other line. those little soft sobs shattered his heart. the last time he’d heard them was because of him. because he had spoke the idea of maybe they should break up. because he didn’t know if he could do the long distance relationship, and Y/N had just agreed. no hesitation because she wanted whatever would make him happy. and if that meant breaking up with her and breaking her heart, then so be it. she wanted what was best for him because she loved him.

“honey, why are you crying? is everything okay?” drew whispered out through the phone to his broken ex in an uneasy tone, as his jaw clenched. he hated the idea of her being sad. he always had.

“w-why are you whispering?” she sighed as more tears streamed down her face.

drew bit his lip, exhaling a huff of hot air he hadn’t known he was holding before speaking, “i gotta whisper because i can’t be too loud.”

“why? i-im sorry. i shouldn’t have called. this was so fucking stupid” Y/N slurred out into her end of the phone, catching drew’s attention.

“oh, well, my girls in the next room” he spoke as he paused to let her speak.

“like i-i said… this was st-stupid of me” she slurred out again before continuing, “you’re moved on. i get it”

“honey, Y/N, it’s not like that. i swear. s-shes not even my girlfriend” he tried to elaborate before she cut him off.

“then why’d you call her your girl?”she challenged.

“baby, you’re drunk. i can tell by the way you’re slurring your words. what’s wrong? why’d you call?” drew tried to deflect the question and ask the more important questions; why she’d called and why she’d been crying.

“answer my questions first please” she hiccuped through her phone and into his ear.

“we haven’t put a label on it. in all seriousness i don’t even know what i want. i don’t even think she knows what she wants. it’s more of a friends with benefits kind of deal” he sighed out as his left index finger and thumb pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed once more, contemplating to speak what he’d been thinking for awhile now. “but honey, if i’m being serious, sometimes i wish she was you”

“i wish i was her too” Y/N whimpered out as she took a gulp of the vodka from the bottle she’d been coddling in her arms, sitting on the bathroom floor, hiding from maverick.

“i guess we never really moved on… did we?” he chuckled out, causing Y/N to smile at the sweet sound of his chuckle. it was bliss to her ears. she’d missed that sound so much in the last two years.

“now answer my question honey, what’s wrong? why’re you calling so later? isn’t it like after 1am there back home in charlotte. right?” he asked Y/N in a concerned tone, face scrunching up in worry as well, though she couldn’t see it.

“u-um. drew it doesn’t matter. forget i called you. okay?” Y/N tried to deflect his concerning questions he’d been shooting her way since the call had started.

“Y/N, honey. i’m not hanging up until you tell me what’s got you so bent out of shape that you’re drunk off your ass, drunk calling me at 1 am your time all while sobbing. i just won’t” he huffed out, losing his patience in the girl on the other line.

“joseph” she began to slur, sternly, “i said it doesn’t matter. go back to your girl or whatever the fuck she is to you” she hiccuped yet again.

“fuck, i cant believe i’m about to say this right now, but it’s really good to hear your voice sayin’ my name. it sounds so sweet” drew smiled to himself as he softly giggled. maybe it was from the champagne he’d had earlier or maybe it was the blissfulness from just hearing Y/N oh so sweet voice saying his name again.

“i love you” Y/N slurred out once more as she started to cry again. “i’ve never stopped” she continued. “i thought i could and would move on but i cant and it hurts me that we aren’t a thing anymore” she continued to weep.

“honey don’t say that. please” he frowned as his heart cracked yet again over his ex girlfriend and her words. more like over her admittance of missing him so much still even after all these years.

“why not, drew? it’s the truth” she sniffled as she wiped her runny nose with the sleeve of his old college sweatshirt she’d still kept after all these year even after their breakup. she picked the bottle of vodka back up and took another swig of it.

“those words…. fuck. they’re coming from the lips of an angel baby. and hearing those words, it’s makes me so fucking weak. because as much as i want to be with you… i cant” he sighed as a single tear streamed down his stubbled cheek, not even bothering to wipe it away. he soon continued, “i never want to say goodbye, honey. and it’s so fucking hard to admit that. but, girl, you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel” he dryly chuckled as the memories of their kisses ran through his brain. it still felt so real. the longing to be near her was still there. and the butterflies. and the desire to make her happy. and the want to make her feel safe and loved.

“drew, you’re the one who just said you guys aren’t even a thing so why would you even say that?” Y/N croaked out as she wiped more of her tears away.

“it’s complicated honey. i feel obligated to be faithful even if her and i aren’t really officially a thing. now please for the love of god, baby, why are you crying? what’s wrong? what happened?” drew exerted his concern as his eyebrows scrunched together in worry.

“i- uh, drew you cant do anything about it, so it doesn’t matter” she whimpered in a whisper, reaching for the bathroom door knob to make sure it was in fact locked. she squeezed her eyes shut as soon as she heard mavericks yells from their kitchen.

“you know, it’s funny that you called me tonight, Y/N/N, because we had some friends over and the whole time i was just thinking of you and how you’ve been. i haven’t heard from you in two years, hunny” drew whispered, his voice strained from the way his heart clenched in pain at the lack of communication between the two when they had both promised to keep in contact.

“maybe that’s why i dream of you. you know what they say, if you dream of someone that means they’re thinking of you. do you dream of me too?” she spoke shakily, as her jaw began to quiver, biting back yet another sob.

“what about maverick? and yes i’ve dreamt of you too, love. i do often” he confessed as he thought back to his dream he had of her from the other night. the two of them had gone on a picnic in the mountains back in their home state of north carolina, enjoying the scenery and all it had to offer, that was until he was awoken by odessa’s loud alarm blaring throughout his bedroom. drew’s lips parted once more as he spoke again, “and does he know you’re talking to me? will it start a fight?”

“th-that’s why i-i uh called. he… uh he got mad again and s-started to throw some things around the kitchen. h-he said some things which isn’t out of the ordinary with him” her frail voice cracked as she finally admitted to him why she had called him so late in the first place. tears once again started pouring out of her once bright eyes which have now been filled with void. “he drinks… a lot. and when he does… he gets kinda aggressive. he will do things to me and say horrible things as well. i-i called you tonight because i’m drunk and i miss you and i know you’d never do this shit to me and because you listen. so well. you always have” she began to cry again for what felt like the twelfth time that night.

“honey, what are you talking about? has he hit you? do you have a place to go?” drew shot up at the mention of mavericks behavior coming from Y/N. he was on high alert and wanted nothing more than to protect her at that instant.

“i shouldn’t have even called. does odessa even know you’re on the phone with me? i don’t want her to get mad at you. i shouldn’t have even called” Y/N stumbled over her words due to the excessive amounts of alcohol she’d been drinking and maybe even a mix of anxiety.

“no, i don’t think she has a clue. i told her it was probably my mom, but, i knew it was you. i still have your number saved to my phone… with your ringtone too. couldn’t get myself to delete it, even after all these years” he confessed as he ran a hand through his shaggy hair. he bit his lip in frustration before speaking sternly this time around, “Y/N, honey, tell me…. has he fucking hit you?”

“y-yes. but he didn’t mean to” she tried to excuse her boyfriends actions, though deep down she knew it was a lie. “and yeah if i have to i can go to my brothers but i don’t need anyone’s fucking help or pity” she blurted a little loud.

“fuck, Y/N” he sighed as fresh tears broke his waterline of his azul eyes, his jaw clenched tight.

“it’s okay, drew, i promise. i’m not your problem anymore. i haven’t been for four years now.” she expressed as she drank the last bit of the vodka that was left in the bottle.

“Y/N can you do one thing for m-“ drew was cut off by a soft knock on the reading rooms door, notifying him that someone ,odessa, was on the other side.

“hey, uh you almost done? it’s getting late and i wanna go to bed” she complained to drew as he’d pulled his phone away from his attentive ears.

“u-uh yeah. let me tell my mom goodnight real quick” he stuttered nervously, worried she’d been ease dropping on part of the private conversation he’d been having on the phone with Y/N. and with that odessa nodded her head as she left the room, shutting the door as she went.

“what is it that you want me to promise you?” Y/N sniffled.

“call me if it gets bad again. i’ll fly out there immediately”

“i promise.”

“i never wanna say goodbye” he admitted to her after her promise.

“i don’t either, but you have to” she spoke flatly as she’d just heard Odessa moments before. she opened her mouth, speaking one last line, “i love you drew”

“i-i love you too honey” drew spoke the words he’d been bottling up since the day the two broke up, as fresh tears streamed down his stubbled cheeks. during the moment he spoke those words all he could hear were mavericks yells and bangs onto the bathroom door through his phone, before the call ended all together.

taglist: @slut4drudy @runningfrom2am @maybankslover

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inconspicious-random-thoughts · 3 months

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A unexpected lesson

The unexpected lesson we learn from both Lucifer and Alastor is that you don't have to believe or agree about the dream but can support it.

As a parent its hard support something when you believe it will lead to failure, harm and the hurt of not achieving the goal. Save the time and effort to be wasted. So a parent just tries to talk or take away the option to avoid all that. Thinking its best. Because the parent trying to have the child avoid the same mistakes they did. The parent has experience and wisdom in these things.

So the parent typically bring the kid back into reality and stop dreaming. They need the child to be realistic about how the world is. There's a difference between being cautionary and being discouraging. Unfortunately, most just go straight to discouraging as the method to be caution.

But unfortunately the parents not all knowing and surprising things can happen when one pursuing a dream. It may come true.

Succeed or failure, it necessary for a person to grow. Taking away the dream will just lead a person to wilt. Letting them go...may cause some to wilt, some to grow and some to thrive!

Things are not black and white, some things should be discouraged. If it going to bring harm to another person or the dreamer themselves or other dire consequences for example.

The takeaway is, Even if you don't believe in the dream or goal is achievable, it shouldn't stop one to support it. The lesson also broaden to non parent types. Partners, friends...etc

Both Alastor and Lucifer gave their reason why Charlies plan wont work. Valid reasons. Lucifer own experience with/against Heaven. his reason ans experience he so badly want to save and shield Charlie from.

Alastor logical one, man had one life and they lived and how they choose to live it decided they get eternal punishment or reward. There no going regretting the life that chose to follow now they are faced with the consequences.

Yet despite it all, both of them stand beside Charlie and support her dream and cause.

It's just needed and unexpected lesson and reminder what we should be doing as parents and as people.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin charlie #hazbin lucifer #hazbin lesson

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ijustliketoreadstuff · 9 months

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One learns, one doesn't

At the start of "Intuition", Gabriel ponders over his numerous failed attempts to defeat the heroes even with the power of the snake miraculous providing him numerous chances to change his tactics. Gabriel points out that no matter what he does, he is no match for Ladybugs "magical luck" helping her evade any and all dangers, and with the lucky charm constantly adapting, victory continues to stay by Ladybugs side no matter what changes he makes in one moment.

Gabriel genuinely believes Ladybug is only able to succeed because of her "magical luck" and her Lucky Charm, but in reality, this is far from the truth. While the lucky charm does provide its holder an item to help them achieve their goal, its power still remains as the power of creation, not luck. It's just as Cat Noir said back in "Determination", Ladybug's true power has never been in the objects her powers of creation provide her, its always been in HER figuring out how to use those objects. The Lucky Charm may help Ladybug achieve her goal by providing a hint to the solution she seeks, but it has always been her skills and her own personal abilities which have allowed her to make use of the lucky charm to find thee solution to the problem.

While Gabriel has grown to become overly reliant on the powers of the miraculous, Marinette has done the one thing Gabriel is often times unwilling to do as he remains distant and hidden, which is learn. Marinette is far from the girl who used to believe there was no solution to her problems, she has learned to harness her own personal skills and abilities and has learned from her mistakes and experiences as time went on, becoming better and better in trusting her own intuition to find a solution, with or without the Lucky Charm.

(Overtime, Marinette learns to trust her instincts, creating plans to stay one step ahead of the villains. In "Destruction", Marinette reveals she had already made a plan to protect her identity in the event Monarch ever got ahold of one of the kwamis)

Gabriel thinks Ladybug's luck is all magical, but its not, the luck has always been part of who Marinette is, and this luck continues to stay strong the more she is willing to take a chance to trust herself, her abilities and the people who are willing to help her and stay beside her along the way as she continues to fight for the greater good.

(No matter what strugglers she faces and no matter how close to defeat she is, Ladybug is never alone in her endeavors. So long as Cat Noir and her team stay beside her to help, defeat is not set in stone for her)

Gabriel might have taken all the miraculous in the miracle box near the end of season 4, but this change did not drag the heroes and the other holders down to the point of accepting defeat, no, they continued forward and learned to live life without the other miraculous.

Ladybug and Cat Noir learned to fight without the power of the other miraculous, and the former miraculous holders learned to find ways to help the heroes and Paris even without powers, forming the resistance and still being readily available to help the two heroes in whatever way they could.

Ladybug and the others, succeed because they as people have been willing to stand together and adapt to a situation, learning every step of the way. Gabriel on the other hand, is not as willing to do the same. If something doesn't work out, its because he believes he did not have enough power, if the heroes continue to win, its because they hold more power against him in more ways than one, and while he knows his attempts to continue using the snake miraculous have done him more harm than good as it has even sped up the cataclysm that is slowly inching him closer and closer to his demise, he does not stop.

Gabriel remains trapped, reliving the same mistakes again and again, refusing to move forward as he continues to find solace in bringing back the past life he once lived with Emelie. No matter what warning Nathalie gives him and no matter what cruel fate awaits Adrien, he will not stop, not as long as he can still give himself a second chance to take back what he lost.

(Nathalie becomes furious with Gabriel as he continues to willingly relive the same mistakes, refusing to learn that his actions have only made matters worse for them and Adrien)

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #tales of ladybug and cat noir #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ml ladybug #mlb ladybug #cat noir #thomas astruc #mlb s5 spoilers #ml s5 spoilers #gabriel agreste #ml monarch #nathalie sancoeur #ml mayura #ml intuition analysis #mlb intuition #mlb intuition analysis

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loki-us · 5 months

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Can the same parallel of Thor and Jane be made for Loki and Sylvie the way you are making for Loki and Mobius? I'm genuinely curious. Do you think the show in its writing and direction makes that parallel?

Didn't Sylvie change Loki the way Jane changed Thor? In his own words, made them soft.

(Ask is referencing this post about the parallel between the relationship of Thor/Jane and Loki/Mobius)

I think the way Tom and Owen play Loki and Mobius makes it very clear that the parallel is between them and not Loki and Sylvie. From the very first episode, Mobius is the only one who sees Loki differently, who sees him for who he really is and believes in his capacity for good. Before Loki even meets Sylvie, he spends time with Mobius in episode 2 and learns what it means to have a genuine friend who trusts you and doesn’t expect you to be anything besides yourself. Because everyone in Loki’s life had always based his worth on a throne, on his ability to be a worthy prince and live up to the image of Thor and Odin and then here comes this soft analyst who has seen everything Loki has ever done and says ‘you’re not a villain’ and ‘you could be anything you want to be, even someone good.’

The impact of having that one person believe in him is enough to allow Loki to realize that his worth isn’t tied to a throne and that trusting other people doesn’t have to make him vulnerable. With Sylvie, I think Loki was starting to learn what it meant to love himself, in the sense that he started feeling protectiveness and affection toward her and had no context for that feeling as someone who has always felt only shame and hatred for himself. However, Sylvie never transformed him like Mobius did. Sylvie was so blinded by her trauma and her need for revenge that she was literally incapable of trusting anybody. Loki says this to her in 1x6 and then Sylvie uses his feelings to manipulate him so she can achieve her own goal. Sylvie never truly cared about anyone besides herself, which is shown in season 2 when Loki has to constantly ask her to return to the TVA and only gets her to help once her own timeline is destroyed. Loki never stops trying to save the TVA, and it’s all because he knows Mobius was happy there and he wants his friends to be happy again.

Sylvie on the other hand is actively trying to stop him and they are constantly opposing each other the entire season. Note that after this line, when Loki says he wants his friends back, he is by definition referring to everyone besides Sylvie because they are the only two who know what really happened at this point and Sylvie made it clear she wants to be left in her timeline alone.

Finally, Loki explicitly references Mobius’ impact on him later in the episode, just before Mobius asks if Loki is really his friend. Loki makes it clear here that Mobius’ belief in him was something he had never even considered before, that the power of that belief had changed his entire perspective.

Loki and Sylvie never have anything close to this type of transformative relationship and the way that Mobius changed him directly inpsired his actions throughout the entirety of season 2. Through Mobius, Loki found people he could care about, he realized his self-worth, and he found the strength to sacrifice for others, all things that Sylvie never taught him. If you imagine taking either Mobius or Sylvie out of the equation, it’s clear that Loki’s growth and journey to his own glorious purpose was made possible by his relationship with Mobius and how he was changed by it.

#ask answered #I do appreciate the question!#quite enjoyed writing this analysis here #hopefully something here is thought-provoking/interesting to you!#loki #Mobius #Lokius #mobius m mobius #thoughts-theories #loki-us blog

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completeoveranalysis · 3 months

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[4]

AND NOW WE GET PIFFLE CALL BACKS?

Oh Clamp really do love me. This is unreasonably perfect.

Who else begins the climactic fight of the series with, “Hey, remember this double layered question I posed 135 chapters ago? Let’s revisit that now!”

WHICH IS VERY GENEROUS OF THEM in the way that it signposts an exact conversation for us to think about and realise (without having to reread the whole series yet again) that the whole conversation between Syaoran and Fai in Piffle was REALLY HEAVILY honed in on the secret Lava Lamp crushing guilt and backstory we didn’t know about until now.

Which is wild in the meta sense knowing that CLAMP planned for that exact sentiment to be the very core of a character we wouldn’t even understand for another 130 chapters, but also on the character level knowing (in hindsight) that Lava Lamp himself was hearing this conversation happen in real time and probably had an absolutely horrible time knowing that they were discussing ethics behind the soul-crushing decision he made that broke the universe and is still suffering AND seeing the consequences of.

But how absolutely fascinating that after Shara our cloned Syaoran ended up developing such a similar insecurity about messing with timelines and the consequences of doing so completely independently from Lava Lamp. The parallel lives of these parallel people. The hitsuzen of it all.

AND! Fai gives almost the same advice!

Last time he said, “You can ponder over that all you want[…] but right now, it won’t do us a bit of good,” and, “If there’s something that you can accomplish if you try, then the thing to do is try. ‘Changing history’ is an idea on too grand a scale for a person to do anything about. It’s also important to accept that there are things you just can’t do.” And he was talking specifically between the Shura/Shara timeline changes at the time, but in relation to Clow? Lava Lamp holds himself accountable for every single thing that happened, but he didn’t do all of that. He was just trying to achieve a goal - which is framed here as a good thing (and is very good advice for dealing with anxiety besides).

At his core Fai sees this same struggle playing out in each Syaoran and gave them both the same tips - but this time he can reference the previous time and really hammer it home.

And, deliciously, it echoes even stronger here. The advice is to ignore all the things you can’t control. Just focus on what you want, and do what you can to achieve it.

Lava Lamp might still feel that he ruined the universe, but that won’t help him right now. Like Fai said last time, that’s on too grand a scale for him to ever take on his own. He has one thing he wants to achieve and he should focus on that. The timeline will sort itself out later.

Which is SUCH a solid Dad moment. Kurogane gets to tell Evil Wolverine to fuck off, Fai and Kurogane get to flirt and insult Evil Wolverine to his face, and now Fai gets to give a touching character moment to Lava Lamp as they all share the final story beat together. It ties the Syaoran experience together (ironically, since the other Syaoran he WAS speaking to is RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM but may or may not have the soul to remember the moment at all), and ties both sides of the plot together into this one big family moment.

Though I’m slightly suspicious of Fai last time mentioning that It’s also important to accept that there are things you just can’t do.

#Because THEMATICALLY #It would be SUCH a GOOD character arc for Lava Lamp #If he had to accept Sakura was gone and has been dead this whole time #And that he never really had the power to save her #And that it was never his fault #But EMOTIONALLY? Watching that would be DEVASTATING.#Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #Tsubasa #Vol 206 #Fai #Lava Lamp Guy #Syaoran #The metaphor of the Sakura frozen in time #Like a regret he was told he had the power to fix #But Evil Wolverine was on the other side of the smoking gun from the start #It was never about Lava Lamp #It wasn’t even really about Sakura #It was just Evil Wolverine from start to finish

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finniestoncrane · 11 months

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Devout

Dano!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 4k commission: eddie is a lil bit obsessive and a lil bit posessive and also is filled with a lot bit of catholic guilt 🐀💚 commission me here! request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: obsessive and possessive themes, kinda love bombing, religious mention, literally bits ripped from the bible, i'm a filthy little satanist so i revel in that

The apartment was dark, almost pitch black except for the glow of the light from the laptop screen, the small yellow glow from the bulb above the stove, and the pervasive shine of the streets below that came in through the half-opened curtains. In the lonely silence, everything echoed. The clock on the wall, the rats beneath the floorboards, the shifting and fidgeting of Eddie as he tried to comfort himself in the darkness and quiet. Usually, that felt safe, familiar. He’d spent so long with you in his life now, though, that you were what was familiar. You were his safe space. You were light, and even though you were soft and quiet, you had a sound to you. Like an aura, a soft glowing sound. And it made it all the more noticeable when you were gone. Leaving him there in the pitch black of his own painful memories, his isolation compounded by his thoughts and perpetual misery. He hated when you were gone.

And you had been gone for so long already.

Eddie was getting irritated with himself. The constant jittering, the tapping of his pen on the desk, the way his fingers now ached where he’d bitten the nail down too far. He was so angry, and so stressed. Nervous, too. It was strange, to worry this much about other people, especially since he’d focused all of his efforts in his life up to that point in pushing others out and away. It was far too emotionally taxing to care for the other orphans, the other down and outs, the other humans in the rat race. Making them seem human made it easy to have empathy, sympathy. And he needed to feel neither of those in order to achieve his goals.

But with you it was different. He needed you around, his body ached for you when you weren’t close to him. Years, decades, of solitude, fortifying his mind and soul against loneliness, had been entirely fruitful from the second you came into his life. Because now, he couldn’t stand to be apart from you, not even for a second.

Shunning all privacy was nothing to him, really. He went to the bathroom with the door open now, as did you. He sat on the tiled floor while you bathed, and when he was showering, he shouted conversations to you. When you went to work, he came with you. He had all but forgotten his own job recently, pretending to work from home most of the time, instead focusing on the more important tasks at hand.

In a way, he felt like you were the same person. A singular entity. It probably wasn’t healthy, but he chose not to dwell on that too much. Instead, he focused on what a joy it was to finally have someone that he wanted to spend time with, and who equally wanted to spend time with him. It was a rarity to find a kindred spirit, a soul mate. And before he met you, he hadn’t even really believed that those things existed. But there you were, beside him, all the time. Willingly!

Being apart from you, though, was made all the more difficult because of the way he had begun to think of you two as inseparable, as necessary to each other’s happiness and survival. If he didn’t think it would be weird to say out loud, especially with his recent actions and the furthering of his criminal endeavours, he would express to you how deeply he wanted to know you, to be with you. That he would like to be inside of you, all the time, to feel like he was wearing you. But that was creepy, even he knew that. When that thought had popped into his head one day as he held you in his arms, he had cringed forcefully and blinked extensively to try and shoo the idea away. It was hard to argue with his brain though. That was definitely the preferential scenario for him. Especially since there was no way to shrink himself down and live in your pocket.

Even now, as he tried to calm himself down, he deferred to imagining you there with him. Your hands, soothing against his skin, stroking his face to calm him down. Your voice, whispering sweet words into his ear, something personal, something adorable. You called him your sweet Eddie, and every time he heard the word it made his whole body warmer, skin prickling as his cheeks flushed and his heart skipped a beat.

He looked at the clock in the corner of his monitor. Not long now. You said you’d be home at 8pm. It was 7.55pm now, so five more minutes. He could manage that, he could cope.

“Sweet Eddie, not long now. I know you can do it!”

But he was never as sure of himself as you were of him. That was one of the things he liked most about you. There was a lot about himself he hated, that he wished away constantly, but you saw those as positives, you cherished them. You thought so highly of him, and it was necessary for his survival to have your kind words whenever he needed them. You had an almost psychic ability, knowing when he needed a little pick-up.

He needed one now though. And where were you?

Eddie looked at the clock again. 8.03pm. He checked his phone, same time, and no texts. He checked his watch. Slightly slower, by one minute and some seconds, but basically, they all told the same story. You had lied.

In a fit of rage, Eddie slumped down, his forehead slamming against the desk as he whined. Was he angry at you? Or was he angry at himself? And if it was the latter, why? Because he had trusted you. Or because he hadn’t.

Here he was, deciding you had lied to him, when there was every possibility that something horrible had happened to you. What if you were laying there, a victim of Gotham, your fragile body in a pool of your own blood that was slowly washed away with the ever-present torrential downpour of rain? Or cowering in some alley, waiting for the inevitable as your attackers closed in, wishing for Eddie, shouting for him, or silently calling him? And he was here, cursing you out?

He was disgusted with himself.

As his nails dug into the underside of the desk, the pain it caused making him feel oddly good, like a properly fitting punishment, he heard your key in the door. Every ounce of fear and sympathy was drained from him in a moment, and he felt his soft features being pressed into a scowl.

“Hey, sweet Eddie!”

The words had little effect over him, and that alone was enough to have his eyes become wet with the threat of tears.

“You’re late.”

“Am I?”

Eddie looked at the clock on the monitor once more. 8.11pm. You were definitely late.

“Yes.”

“I didn’t think I had a specific time I had to be home by.”

You giggled, unaware of how serious he was. But the longer you looked at him without seeing his face shift into his soft smile, you grew more concerned.

“Eddie… are you ok?”

“I… I…”

He fought hard to suppress the rage that had been building. It was no one’s fault, not even his own. That’s what you would tell him. You’d assure him that any anger was built on years of trauma, of being let-down, of having things snatched from him, people snatched from him. And even just imagining your calming voice and soothing touch was enough to bring him back down, his heart rate slowing as he took a deep breath and spoke clearly this time.

“I was worried about you.”

“Oh, Eddie!”

You could make out the small tears lingering in the corner of his eyes, and you threw your arms out, rushing to gather him up in them. But rather than allow himself to fall into your embrace, he stood up and stepped back from you.

“Eddie, what’s wrong?”

He looked into your eyes for a brief moment, letting his gaze flit quickly to the floor. You could tell there were screeds of thoughts running through his mind, but you’d have to ease them out slowly. He got like this on occasion, his brain working against him. He was intelligent, so much so, but he could let that be his worst enemy.

“If you don’t tell me, I can’t help you.”

Reaching a hand out to him, you tried to hold his forearm, but he snatched it back and away from you.

“Eddie…”

“I’m so… mad.”

“You’re mad?”

“I think so. I don’t know. I’m confused.”

“Well, why do you think you’re mad?”

“I… because… you… I… you…”

“Eddie, sweet Eddie, I’m here to help you. You know that.”

“Are you?”

He spat the words out at you, his brow suddenly furrowing. His mouth turned downwards into a little frown and he glared out, the anger behind his eyes occasionally dimming to make way for sadness, confusion, before returning to the rage you rarely saw in him anymore when it was just the two of you alone.

“What do you mean? Of course I am. I’m always here for you.”

“But you were late. And you didn’t tell me where you were.”

“I was only five minutes-”

“More than ten!”

“Eddie! I didn’t say I would be back exactly on the hour. I said ‘around’ eight. Is that really why you’re so upset?”

“Wouldn’t you be!?”

“Of course not!”

His face fell again, further than before, further than you thought it might be able to.

“So you don’t care about me?”

You were speechless, your heart aching and your mind fogged with confusion and hurt. You cared about Eddie more than anything in this world, and you thought he knew that. But evidently, his deep-seated trauma was still a block on his ability to see that. Despite how often you reassured him of that fact.

“You know I do, what does that have to do with anything?”

Eddie stepped towards you, his hands balled into fists so tight that they were shaking, his palms turning red from the pressure.

“If you care about me you would have called! You would have been back on time! You wouldn’t have…”

He stopped, shuddering as he looked down at his hands.

“You wouldn’t have left… that’s… horrible, isn’t it?”

“Oh, Eddie.”

At the softness in your tone, surprisingly still as calm and sympathetic as it always was even in the face of his ridiculous reasoning, Eddie felt his lungs sweeling and let out a small wail. He fell to his knees and stayed there as you walked to him, standing in front of him and brushing your fingers through his hair.

“It’s not horrible, Eddie. But it’s maybe a bit unreasonable…”

Looking up at you with his large, sad eyes he sniffled.

“I am so sorry. I am. It’s just… I get scared, anxious…”

He shuffled forward a little more, clinging to your legs as he pressed his face to them.

“I just love you so much. I need you. All the time. Everything is harder when you’re not with me.”

It was hard to feel anything but sympathy for Eddie. His whole life had been a struggle, and that conclusion was based only on what he had revealed to you so far. There were moments in his childhood he had told you he was afraid to speak of. Things that were so horrible he worried that they might traumatise you, or worse, bring those memories to the surface and make his life more unbearable and more difficult than it already was.

All you ever wanted to do was take the pain away from Eddie, to hold him and make him feel safe and secure. You were enamoured by him, and admittedly, a large part of that was how much he needed you. It felt good to have a purpose. And it felt good for the feeling of lust and desire, and emotional connection to be requited on the same level.

Falling to your knees with him, you cradled his face in your hands, his cheeks soft and warm, and wet with his tears.

“Eddie, my sweet Eddie. I understand. I understand it completely.”

He looked into your eyes, still sparkling with tears, and let his face lighten slightly, hopeful at your words.

“You do?”

“Of course I do. You know how much I love you, and how much I need you. I wish we could be together all of the time. I wish there was a never a need for us to be apart. I would have myself sewn to you if I could. Oh… was that weird? That might have been a strange thing to say, sorry.”

In that moment, Eddie felt his heart thumping in his chest, heart rate elevating exponentially as he realised you were just as intense and, if he could be wishful, as insane about him as he was about you.

“Not… not that weird at all. I would like to keep you with me all the time. Shrink you down to be in my pocket would be my first option, but I would have your hand stitched on to mine so you’d never let go.”

“Aw… that’s so weird.”

“Yeah… we’re weird together, right?”

You nodded, smiling at him as you took his hands in yours and pulled both him and yourself up from the floor.

“Perfect. I’ve always wanted someone to be weird with. To just be myself around.”

“I’m glad I can be that person for you, Eddie.”

“Really? You’re not put off at all?”

“Never! I find you so romantic, actually.”

His smile widened and his eyes shone as he looked at you, sparkling, ignited by inspiration.

“Huh… I never thought of myself as romantic.”

“Oh, but you are! You proclaim your feelings in such poetic and dramatic ways, it might not be to everyone’s taste, but I love it.”

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight as he pressed his cheek to yours. His lips, so close to your ear, grazed over them as he whispered to you.

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I am desperate for you, every second of the day. Even when you’re with me, I want more of you.”

Eddie paused to kiss your neck, placing three kisses down it and back up before he spoke again.

“Even when I’m… uh… i-inside of you… I want to be deeper. I don’t think it’ll be enough unless I’m in your soul.”

You sighed against his touch, his fingers placed at the bottom of your back, tracing over the skin he exposed by lifting your shirt up.

“You’re my everything, my entire world. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe. No one I wouldn’t take care of to make sure you were taken care of.”

“Oh, Eddie… you’re my hero.”

He groaned as he let his teeth sink softly into your skin, as though he thought consuming you might help him feel as close to you as he was obsessed with being. He dragged his tongue along the skin, soothing after the sharp nip of his bite, before he bit into you again, clawing at your skin as he tried to bring your body closer to him, pressing it to his with such force it felt like you might melt into him under the pressure. But it still wasn’t enough for him.

His hand caressed your cheek gently before he let his fingers grab your face, holding your mouth open in a light pout as he licked first at your lips before sinking his tongue in, flitting it against yours which rushed to meet his.

Against the desperate movements, he groaned and sighed, and you could feel and taste his breath on your taste buds. It really felt like he was trying to enter you, to become one with you, and you welcomed it. Your hands around his neck held him in place, refusing to let him go, even when he pulled back, a trail of saliva falling from his and your lips to your chin. Eddie wiped it with his thumb and stepped towards you, into you. He pushed you lightly, sending you into the wall where you stood breathlessly, head tilted back, neck exposed to him.

You weren’t sure where you wanted him to go next with this, but you were intrigued to see and would let him have complete control if he wanted. Anything, whatever he did, just to see what lengths he would go to in order to express fully his undying and terrifying love of you.

Interestingly, he fell to his knees once more, lowering his body until he was laying on the ground on his stomach, wriggling to get close to your feet, which he let his fingers trace over before kissing them. Here he was, riddled with the kind of Catholic guilt that creates a monster, deciding that he was devoted to a whole other god, making you the idol, worshipping at your feet to show how devout he was.

“You’re everything to me. You are the earth, the sky, life and death.”

He shifted forwards, lifting himself slightly as he kissed up your calves, holding the back of your legs tightly.

“A hymn I’d sing forever.”

As he raised himself higher, his mouth kissed over your thighs, fingers light against them as they pressed into the skin. It was something you noticed about him, an almost childish way of exploring you. Touch, sensory needs, as though feeling you was the only way to prove to himself that you existed, that you were real and in front of him. That by grabbing you and holding you and caressing you, he could convince his brain that you were there, letting him indulge in those pleasures of the flesh. The way he played with your body, investigative and exploratory, like he craved complete knowledge of every aspect of you. It was intoxicating, and completely erotic.

“I am beholden to you. I serve you. I am enamoured. Devout. I owe you everything.”

He held his face against your legs, breathing deep, taking slow, meaningful inhales and exhales that sent shivers over you, despite the warmth of his breath on your skin.

“It feels… odd to seek you out constantly, when you’re within me. You’ve always been there. And yet, without you there’s no existence at all.”

Eddie was on his knees now, praying to you almost, avoiding your eyes as he spoke the words of his sermon to you.

“You’re radiant, resplendent. You’re fragrant, and I draw my breath in and now pant after you. I tasted you, but I still feel hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am set on fire, longing for your touch again to extinguish the flames, but I don’t want to give them up.”

The words were familiar, almost, as though he were preaching something you’d heard before at church, or school, or in passing even. You felt a flush of heat course through your body as you recognised the significance, the words he had been made to repeat as a child, the words that filled him with such anger, and now he was twisting them, putting new meaning to them. Using them to worship you.

Your breath hitched as you choked out a moan, feeling Eddie press his nose to your crotch, his lips against you, thin layers of fabric separating his mouth from your entrance as he continued speaking.

“To serve you is freedom. To praise you is my soul’s joy and delight. And to confess this, then, is to praise and glorify you. In seeking you, I find you, and in finding you, I have you. And in having you… I keep you.”

“Eddie… oh my god…”

You could feel his tongue, lapping at the fabric of your leggings and under them, your panties. Ending each sentence with a wet drag of it against you, soaking you, able to taste your own slick through it.

“No longer do any passing fancies take my interest. My soul is focused on you alone, it praises you.”

He leaned back, looking up into your eyes as you stared down at him. His cherubic face, cheeks warm and flushed as he expressed his adoration, his obsessions.

“You allow my soul to remain attached to you, a corruptible thing as I, with the glue of love. We are attached. We’ll never be torn apart. We were meant to be. And we always will be.”

Eddie took your wrists in his hand, a tight squeeze as he spoke his final words. His amen.

“We always will be. Right?”

All you could do was nod, silently, breathlessly, completely taken back by the lengthy outpouring of his feelings, laid bare in front of you.

Standing up in front of you, he went quickly from small and vulnerable, to towering over you, exuding the control and power he usually only managed to harness when he was wearing his mask. But something about loosening up and spilling his guts to you had given him a sense of power. Possibly in the way you reacted, skin flushed all over, chest heaving as you took long, gasping breaths to try and relegate your heart rate.

As much as Eddie was willing to get on his knees and thank you for letting him be near to you, he wasn’t completely oblivious to the effect he had on you. You were just as likely to do anything for him. You already did. You were an enabler, chronically. You enthused and encouraged, maybe not outright, but in your soft, soothing tones, the way you held him when he returned from a night of ‘work’, or when he finished one of his streams. You were supportive, of everything about him. Even the darker things. The horrible truths that lurked on the edges of his soul. You made it easier to bring them out, and for that, he was eternally grateful.

It felt strange to him, to experience mutual appreciation, requited love and adoration. As much as he worried constantly, he’d rather live with the fear than suffer a life without you, not now that he’d been blessed by your presence, your touch, your kiss. His gaze flitted briefly to your lips, suddenly reminded that they were there, in front of him, his to have if he so wished.

Leaning into you, Eddie took your face in his hands before moved back, his fingers spreading through your hair as he kissed you, hard, long, filled with intense passion. A soft moan emanated from him as he felt your hands cling to his waist, travelling around to his front and up his chest. As you reached the collar of his plain, white shirt you grabbed it and held him against you. His body, surging with arousal and white, hot lust heaved inwards as yours moved outwards, a rhythm together, fitting perfectly around each other like two pieces of a puzzle. The kind that they had in the orphanage, always missing a few pieces. Much like he was. But now he was whole, complete. A sentiment that seemed cheesy to him, still, made him cringe as he thought it. It was the truth though.

Pulling himself off of you, disappointed in the fact he had done so immediately, Eddie found it in himself to smile again, for the first time that evening since you had left the apartment.

“I’m glad you’re here… home.”

“I’m glad to be home, Eddie.”

He lunged towards you again, his arms around you as he held you tight, almost suffocating you against his chest. He loved that you loved him. He loved that you were with him. It only felt like home when you were there. You were his home.

#finnie writes #riddler smut #fanfic #the riddler fanfic #riddler fanfic #riddler x reader #riddler x you #ridler scenario #dano riddler #dano!riddler #edward nashton #the riddler fanfiction #the riddler #paul dano #danonation

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heartidylla · 1 year

Text

don’t think, just feel

javier peña x f!reader

summary : you have a rocky relationship with your dad and even more so men. your childhood person, javier peña, wants nothing more than to show you your true worth.

quote : “oh cariño, i’ve always been yours, with or without the title.”

warnings : smut! , daddy issues , difficult topics , mention of physical and mental abuse

speaking color coding

“” — javier

“” — you

“” — others

"you’re such a smart mouth!" the seventeen year old's father yelled at you with such distaste in his tone that it took the trembling little girl back into a time where you were just beginning your lifelong journey of trying to heal from your father's parental mistakes that left severe wounds which you tried to treat with a medicine that wouldn't ever achieve the goal of full recovery.

you took a deep breath, an ache forming in your chest that made you feel like you were drowning in your own melancholy due to your fathers words which stabbed deep into your heart without any remorse. you turned your back to him and walked into your room, enclosing yourself within it as your back touches the door and it slowly rubs against it as you slide down to collapse onto the floor with the palm of your hands on your face. there was some money which were scrambled on the ground, left untouched by your father .. shockingly.

you needed to get away. the burden within your chest only growing more heavy the longer you stayed under his roof. after giving yourself the quickest second to come up with your decision, you lifted yourself off the ground and took out the box full of money which you rightfully earned from underneath your bed. you stashed the cash in a backpack that was beside it along with the essentials.

javier peña, your childhood ... person, was seventeen. he has been in your life since your birth and the passing of your mother. he and his father have been your only supporters since. he gave everything of himself that he could hand you, and you knew that.

you were both raised by the same person, chucho, his father. his mother died when he was younger, and it was a loss which both of you had to grieve together with. she was just as much of a mother to him as she was to you. whenever she looked at you, you could see something within those eyes which made you feel safe. you didn't know it then, but it was the same maternal love you craved for from your dad.

he never was a good parent to you. he wasn't emotionally there. he never tried to connect with you on that level, and spat out cruel words without ever apologizing for the affects that they had on you. you didn't understand why though. he never talked about him or his childhood, so you were sure he must've been affected by the same treatment somewhere. as much as you loathed him, a part of you would always crave for that kind of father-daughter relationship that you always observed in movies. the same movies which constantly brought you to tears due to the cruel reminder of how much your father hates you in order to treat you so horribly.

lost in thought, the ringing of your phone pulls you out of your dazed state. you push the phone up against your ear, and await the other person on the end of it to speak. "hi, this is your landlord speaking." the women's voice was so highly pitched that it sounded like she was faking it to sound sweeter. you had rented out a small apartment across town which you would fall back upon whenever you and your father had disputes with one another such as tonight.

you hummed in response, awaiting her next words. "i'm sorry to inform you, but since you aren't in the apartment consistently you are being kicked out." she informed you, her nice tone was such a contrast difference from the news she was bestowing upon you.

in the moment, your mouth was agape as the words she spoke soaked into your mind. "but... i was on time with all of my payments?" your voice came out weaker than you'd like to admit. you were responsible for what bills you had to pay. you had a decent job and we're still in college, so you didn't have much to worry about in that department. only studies and a few bills every here and there.

"i'm sorry to inform you on such short notice." she didn't even try to explain the reason. she seemed as if she just wanted you gone, even if you hadn't done anything but breathe around her.

in a fit of anger, you click the end button and throw your phone on the bed. you watch as it hits the mattress and slightly bounces upwards, and then falling back down once more. you sunk back down on the floor, sulking in the amount of disappointment and frustration you rightfully felt. then, almost on cue, your eyes lay on a photo of you and javier who were smiling brightly with one another.

you were on his shoulders within the pool lifting your hands up in the air getting ready for a rematch of a classic game of chicken. a confident aura spread around you both which could be seen even through the polaroid.

he had always wanted to be with you, and only you. however, he knew everything that weren't horribly at home. he knew how much it affected you. how you craved softness but attracted rough edges which would always scrape you in the most painful parts of your self.

he and you had multiple fights because of that alone. you would be sitting down at their homes table and you're head would be locked onto the sight of the ground as he stuttered out thousands of questions that were lodged within his head about the reasons on why you are the way that you are. why do you fall for rough edges? why do you push away kindness? why are you .. you?

you'd just stay silent, unable to answer any of his questions. you didn't understand how someone could want to figure out who you were, and why that is. hell, you didn't even want to. you were terrified on the single idea that you'd come across fatal information that would describe you perfectly but then destroy every ounce of you. you were protecting your heart in the only way you knew how to. you were projecting yourself out to others as you had been taught — as you desperately needed to be seen as. you never saw anything they did as such horrible things to associate them as bad people; to you, they were only people who did bad things. people that were able to change if they tried to, and you just wanted to be worth enough for them to try.

at some point, he left you in the kitchen alone and as he stormed out of it his father grabbed onto him and pulled him in an empty room. "what do you think you're doing?" he sternly asked his son as he pushed him down onto the guest rooms bed.

javier grumbled our curses underneath his breath. he was fuming, but he wasn't certain on if that was a valid reaction or not. "what do you mean?" he questioned his father while crossing his arms.

"you're unrightfully yelling at that poor girl." chucho says, pointing towards the door which would lead to you.

"she's unbelievable! you should know who she dates — how she is treated by those people!" he tries to explain his reaction in order to justify such an outburst on his end. he wouldn't ever forget the time where you had come over to his house and he'd see bruises on your soft skin that were caused by someone else's hands. he was certain he was going to jail for first degree murder that night if you hadn't restrained him and begged him not to.

"son, that is none of your business." he told him in a calmer tone. he's always been calmer than those two kids, obviously because he had been on this planet longer than they have. he understood more about them than they knew about themselves.

"it's not fair..." he weakly voices out. he didn't understand how someone so kind .. so beautifully written could ever be attracted to someone who sucked all that sweetness out of them. who forced them to become a dull person who was codependent on their selfishness solely. whenever you were in a relationship, to him it was like seeing a ghost of who you used to be. you weren't ever smiling as you should be — as you used to do whenever you were with him. hell, you didn't even hangout with him because your partners were so insecure that they'd cut off all your connections. he looked up to his father with watery eyes, one's that haven't been this close to crying in a long time. "why .. why does she always choose the wrong people to date?" he asks the void that fills the room.

chucho sighed before he walked over to the bed which javier sat on and placed himself next to his son. they both were looking at the ground at this point, and churro honestly needed some time to think of an answer. "we .. we accept the love we believe we deserve." he tells him, patting his back in a supporting way. "you know better than anyone else what environment she is raised within." he reminded him of her past, present, and future. her father, and what exactly he does to her mental state. how he images how she should be treated and why she deserved to suffer so terribly.

he looked over to his father with a helpless gaze. one hand fiddling with the other. "do you think i can make her know she deserves better?”

"you can try."

and he did. he tried with every ounce of his body to make you see you deserved something extraordinarily beautiful.

you both have pinned one another since you first saw each other as kids, and recently it had finally developed into something even more special that you hold closely to your heart after so long of waiting.

you'd sleep over at his house constantly, and he'd always get a warmth within his chest when he woke up beside you as you were laying in his t-shirt that looked like a wet dream of his that only ever consisted of you and your socks at the end of his bed.

just the sight alone would make all the blood from his flushed cheeks run southwards, and that'd happen every time he woke up like this. it was like you were an addiction that he would never seek treatment within. he'd always need you in his life, and wouldn't in his lifetime ever try to force you out of it.

when life got hard on both ends and you succumbed to the idea of being separated for some time, but still held immense feelings for one another.

it just .. wasn't the right time for you both to thrive in that environment together. one of the other would be drowning in the others abyss, and it was just too much of a difficult task for either of you to handle.

on your eighteen birthday, you both impulsively decided to get tattoos of one another's names. somehow in your own little way, it was to prove to the other that you would always follow up on all the promises that you made to each other. ones that would make or break the other; impact them for a lifetime.

as you both sat in those seats beside one another, you both held tightly onto the others hands; staring at the another as you were getting marked by the other for eternity. there was something shyly intimate about it. obviously apart from him forever claiming him as yours and visa versa. as you stared into his coffee-tinted eyes, all you could see was yourself within him. it made you feel like you're everything he could see, that nobody else in this world mattered to him but you.

for someone who always felt like they were invisible within their own home, you were absolutely faded into all of him for even giving you the impression of such a bizarre thought being a reality for you. his lips curved into a small smile as his thumb brushed against your soft skin, leaving a trail of flames that splattered across every corner of his touch.

after that day, he was calling you much more than he had prior to the tattoo appointment.

you beamed when you picked up the phone and saw his name plastered on your screen. you clicked the answer button, and pressed it against your ear before whispering out a shaky and uncertain, "hello?"

"hi.." his low and husky voice greeted you back, and it seemed almost as if he was anxious as well. he was always much better at keeping his composure around you, even if he was just as awkward.

"is there something you need?" you question him as you walked around in an oval, something you tend to do when you're nervous. you trapped your bottom lip between your teeth and bit down on it an anticipation of his response until you felt a metal taste feeding into your tastebuds.

"yeah .. do you think you could come over?" he quietly asked you in a hushed voice, as if his hands were occupying another need of his. you could almost hear his rapid heartbeat and shaky breaths from the phone line.

"give me five." you instantly reply, ending the phone call and getting ready as soon as you possibly could.

the moment you showed up at his house, you instantly crawled through his window. the route you'd typically go through whenever he needed you, and there wasn't any time for you to go through the front. the window was open, and you could see the framing of his back from beside it.

you leaned against the window frame from outside with your arms placed on the bottom of it and head rested on top of them, "hey." you greeted, smilingly up at him with those round eyes that always made him feel like he was the only man on earth you'd ever look at with such affection.

it always sent butterflies swarming within him, but he'd never admit how much he was swooning over just a simple gaze. "hey." he greeted back, walking over and helping you through. his hands snake around your waist to ensure your safety more than what was truly necessary. however, you didn't complain. you loved the idea that he overthought the bare minimum for you, and only you.

"so, what did you need?" you breathlessly questioned while raising a curious eyebrow, turning your head to catch a glimpse of his face which was placed within your messy hair. he was engulfing your scent as if it was his air, like he needed it to enter his lungs in order to breathe.

he was getting completely drunk on you, just by that alone. his hands still snaked around your waist as if you were going to disappear from his grasp at any minute. you'd hate to admit it, but the blood rushed into your cheeks by the sight of him basking in you faster than lighting.

it takes him a moment, and the second he pulled you closer into him you could already come up with what he wanted as you felt his arousal press up against your backside. a shiver flowed through your entire body, wetting the past dry state of your panties. "you." he replied through quick breaths due to his burning desire for you. his thick fingertips drag across your stomach line, digging into your skin which forced you to gasp in pleasure.

ever since he saw you at that tattoo office, his signature getting permanently pierced into your skin. it sent aflame every fiber that he's been trying to pull back from; the parts of him that desired — needed you to function. he couldn't wait for either of you to be in the perfect state of mind and position to get you back. he simply wouldn't wait any longer, and by you dropping everything to arrive at his house, he was pretty certain you held the same thoughts.

you slowly turn your entire body towards him, never leaving his grasp .. just shifting within it. the moment your eyes met his, you couldn't help but drown yourself within those beautiful chocolate eyes that held the same warmth within for you in them as you first witnessed years and years ago. your hands wrap around his neck, and he pushes you closer to him to the point where your bodies are mended together. every body part is reflecting off of the others touch, all but your faces.

you both just stared at one another, basking in the others gaze like it would be the last time you'd ever be like this which was completely untrue. for the past few years, there has always been this unspoken lust that you shared together and now it was just dying to be addressed.

you watch as his tongue wets his lips, his looks alone are completely devouring you. you couldn't help but letting out a breathless giggle before moving your face closer to his. it was excruciatingly slow, as you attended it to be. it got to the point where he was way too starved to wait any longer and leaned forward as well. there must've been a solid second of your breaths mixing before he crashed his lips onto yours in the most ravenous way you thought was possible.

you let out a noise of only pleasure which vibrated against his lips as you molded yourself into him. you matched whatever energy he was putting out for you to devour yourself. you were devoting every bit of yourself into his needs, whatever he wanted from you .. you were more than willing to give up the relief and pleasure he believed only you could assist him with. it was obvious over the phone that his hand wasn't cut out for such drastic cravings, and that alone made a different and newly emotion begin to light itself within your body.

you began to backtrack to his bed, knowing the layout of his room way better than you knew your own. the moment your hamstrings hit the bedding, you slowly drift down onto it, him following you all the way down.

as he ghosted your body, one of his hands laid beside your head that rested on his covers as the other freely roamed your curves. the soft sounds of rapture between you filled the room, and you made sure that they stayed only in this faithful room.

he pulled away for a second to catch his breath. due to the close proximity between you both, his lungs were beginning to fill up with your shared breaths which shockingly turned him on even more. the fact that you, as violent as a waterfall, flooded into his heart that now seems to only beat for you and just like the stream at the end of a waterfall, you're spreading into his other organs, completely taking his entire self over.

he looked down at you, lips seemingly swollen due to solely his attention on them. the lustful expression and half-lidded eyes as your chest rose and fell at an immaculate rate, each breath becoming more intense and filled with a whiny sense of wanting more for him — for him! every thought that consistent in that pretty little mind of yours were filled with only the best benefits for him instead of yourself, like you're only goal was to pleasure him, but waiting for his signal to continue. your cheeks were flushed with red, which he could even make out from the dimness that surrounded his room.

he gently leaned down and placed his forehead onto yours, closing his eyes for a moment to recollect himself from wanting to absorb every bit of you — especially the parts which were killing him with temptation by calling out to him. he chuckled softly, not believing that he truly had you in his bed right now and as he looked down at you, a smirk on his face as his thumb was softly caressed your cheek.

you hummed in delight of his gentle touch. it was nothing like you've ever experienced before. nobody has ever been this soft, or had their simple touch sent flames bursting at the surface. it was electric, something that had formed due to time of truly getting to know the other on an emotional level and the countless amount of effort you both put into the other.

"mi amor, we don't have to do this." javier's defined accent stated in a low voice level as his controlled breaths shape out your face. he was putting his needs aside in order to make sure you're comfortable with everything happening right now. he's realized that neither of you are in a defined relationship, and he's terrified that after this you'll leave. as if you'll run like you always do whenever you get close to a man who shows interest in you, whether that's good or bad attention that you're receiving, like all your previous situationships.

you've done it before to him, and he's well aware that you didn't want to. it's just .. how you coped in the location you were succumbed to being held captive in. you never knew if it was possible for someone to like you — even more so love you, so whenever someone showed that kind of interest it always scared you off. you didn't want to get hurt because you were so easily engulfed within praise and gratitude for your presence beside them, and that alone was completely unrealistic in your mind. how could any man want you if your own father seemingly hated you with his entire being?

you didn't know.

you ran a marathon to avoid any injury to your heart, ones that were so blind sighted to real admiration for you. ones that gave into the wrong kind of affection, and then pushed out the right. javier, he was the right kind. the right person for you. he knew you like the back of his hand. he knew every bit of everything you went through. his mind wrapped around your past as if it was an exceptional oath that defined who you two were and how you grew together.

ivy that grows between you two and forces you together, and you willingly let it. heart rate at it's very peak every second that the two of you mold into each other, bodies colliding together perfectly as if the two of you were destiny in every universe. the ivy that now surrounds you, forever mending your fate together like a golden invisible string connected to the other on your pinkies that shined through every life, every difficult moment, every death, everything .. it survived.

you cup his cheeks, giving him the most lighthearted gaze he's ever seen you have. it was almost unreal, like you couldn't possibly ever hold such softness directed at him — not with how you were raised. he automatically felt himself mush into your skin, letting himself go and resting in your hands. he soaked up every bit of how your hands held him like he was oasis water, precious to the world and you had gotten your hands on something extraordinary. "i want to." you whisper out to him, reassuring him that every bit of you wanted him. three words — three words which echoed in his ears for a short while.

he nodded his head, finally accepting the dream he has spent countless nights pondering about as his reality. he bent down once again, and captured his swelled lips onto yours. this time it was much more softer than previously, carefully crafted by his lips in order to show you that he wanted this as well. he wanted you to feel cherished without being completely horrified by the darkness that comes along with it — or more so, the mark whenever this great love affair passes. the anxiety that you will receive another gash upon your heart, one that you don't believe you would ever recover from. this — this would leave you broken and blue for the rest of your days. every breath you would take with be an exhale filled with complete agony by the loss of him.

his hand slips underneath your back, lifting you up closer to his chest. the way his hand grasped your side was a tender and yet had a sense of greediness that sent another wave of need through your body, beaching itself in your still clothed shorts. the scent of him washing way everyone — everything else. all you that could feel, smell, see, hear and taste was him.

how his lips tasted of freshly brewed coffee as if it was all he ever drank. how his freshly damp hair felt running through your fingers due to the amount of heat you two had been producing just by mouths alone had caused him to sweat — or from how much he was restraining himself from just taking you how you are right now. how he looked at you as if all he could ever want was in this bed alone. the bed you two shared on countless occasions, but never like this before. how his sounds of euphoria from just these subtle moments of foreplay sounded like symphonies ringing beautifully in your ears. how you could smell the woody yet somehow still beachy cologne that he had put on prior to your arrival wash off of him and be replaced by the scent of you.

"javi .." you breathlessly spoke his name in a matter of desperation. this foreplay was more than enough to send you spiraling over the thought of where this may end — what path the two of you would walk down together.

he nodded his head, talking deep breaths as he had slightly parted from you for only a second to vocalize his understanding. "i know." he replied, wetting his lips once more before placing another quick kiss onto your lips. he lifted himself off of you to reach a standing up position, putting all of his weight down onto his knees which laid beside your hips and began to take off his shirt. his eyes never left yours, especially when you eagerly pulled off the t-shirt you were wearing that was his which you previously took back to your house after you spent the night here.

you finally revealed the white laced bra that had been tormenting him thousands of times before. the white fabric that had covered your body from him whenever he was watching you from afar, and talking to you about an urgent matter that needed your assistance down home — the home that you, chucho, and him shared together. you both were comfortable with one another to the point where he was allowed to walk in on you while changing, as if you two were long already a married couple even though you both were still in your youth.

his breath hitched at the sight. "you've been torturing me with this one for so long." he hummed in delight, a smirk that pulled his outer part of his mouth up. it still looked as pearly white as he reminisced it was whenever he was in his bed alone, and his hands took on a different role than just twirling his fingers trying not to lunge towards you and take you how you were then.

you slightly chuckle at his remark towards you. "not my fault you walked in on me more times than i can count." you reply, biting back your smug grin. this time it was his turn to laugh. you lifted yourself up onto your elbows to get a better look at him. "i was starting to think you were doing it on purpose."

he shook his head at you. it was nice to feel lighthearted and intertwined with someone that you're in a vulnerable position for. it didn't seem uncomfortable or only needing to get off and then leave — it just felt ... natural, like you're giving a piece of yourselves to the other where you know it belongs. "maybe i was." he purrs while leaning forward and smiling into your skin as he leaves a trail of soft kisses along from your jawline to your sternum.

"you dirty boy." you teased him as you close your eyes and leaned your head backwards, allowing him more access to the area receiving his admiration.

he hummed in delight at your words. the way they left your lips as if it was some precious gesture bestowed onto him by the devils themselves. the ones that knew how to edge him on the most. "your dirty boy." he stated before he gently bit down on a patch of skin that barely was enough to keep in between his teeth. your yelped as your hands immediately fell onto the back of his head in shock, pulling him close. he wasn't short of the sucking onto the skin or how quick you had succumbed to his wishes by pushing his head deeper into you.

as a inexperienced teenager, his body had already been pulsing at the seams. the bulge in his pants became an apparent issue in his mind. it was throbbing and needing attention, but he didn't want to rush into it no matter how much he was in agonizing pain. he had waited for this moment — dreamt of it countless times and woke up to his bed being completely soaked. he just wanted it to be perfect, to be something that both of them could look back on with satisfaction and just pleasure.

whenever he had those filthy imaginations, he had only ever pictured you within them. every pornographic scene he watched on the television, he imagined you and him together. whenever you split after. a heated moment, he'd visioned you at home, laying your back against the wall with your hands in between your thighs. your pretty mind all filled with thoughts of him, wishing he was there to give you the relief you deserved. he'd spend nights, hard as a fucking rock just thinking about you.

you had consisted every single thought, not only the filthy ones but his day to day ones as well. in the grocery stores, when he was running errands, he found himself purchasing candies, candled scents, and stuffed animals that you'd like in order to gift them to you without even realizing.

"i like that." your tone had an undertone of giddiness as you twisted a single curl from his chocolate tinted hair in between your finger.

he raised an amused eyebrow, "oh yeah?" he questioned, kissing the line in between your rips all the way down to the waistband your short shorts. "which part?" he shifts a finger to wrap around the cloth. your heated skin spreading to warm his colder temperature one.

"the part where you're mine." you answered slyly, massaging his scalp with your slender fingers.

"oh cariño," javier's face fell. he was frowning as he guided himself back towards your face, peppering it with ticklish kisses which force you to gently giggle and try to push him away. "i've always been yours, with or without the title." he informs you, intentionally reassuring you that he's never desired to be with anyone else but you even if you both went through your rough patches, even if he had sucked out companionship elsewhere when you just couldn't give him it yourself.

"i know, amor." you reply, breathing out a long sigh, cursing yourself for ruining the mood. it was a moment of vulnerability. one that javier doesn't find you having ever, even for as long as he has know you you've barely ever opened up. it took him intruding in your house to find out that your father throws profanities towards you as if it was candy and he was a piñata. "now i know this may be hard for you, but stop talking and just kiss me." immediately after you finished that sentence you started to laugh because of his unamused expression towards your own joke, which you thought was hilarious.

"oh now you're gonna get it." he warned you, chuckling slightly as he leaned down and continued where he left off with the swollen condition of your redden lips.

he wasn't lying either, after he assaulted your lips once more he began to nip every bit of your chest and you had to be silent because of the sleeping state of the mighty beast named churro down the hall. due to the suction, he was leaving small breaks of blood vessels all over you and whenever you tried to push him away, to beg for mercy, he kept on pushing your buttons. he knew exactly when to quit teasing you, and exactly how far to push.

"okay, dick." you cursed at him, already tired of his antics. you both always had a childish requirement to mess with one another, and it always ended up with you both being tired of the other. you started your counterattack, from countless times you and him wrestled you knew exactly how to twist and turn him to succumb to your wishes. so, you grabbed onto his sides and pushed him down onto the bed while twirling to straddle on his hips. now, he was wide eyed and underneath you. smirking, you down at him proudly as if you were on a pedestal looking down at second place. you both couldn't help but feel each others need as they were touching the others, but you both were too caught up in challenging the other. "oh how the tables have changed, mi amor." the undertone of your voice was full of mischief. the change of the previous ‘love’ to ‘my love’ was a significant one — at least to javier it was.

"princesa, you really wanna go down that path at a time like this?" javier motioned with his hand to yours and his shirtless beings. you both got sidetracked with your dynamic. the lighthearted constant distractions made you both so much more connected to the other, even at a time like this where javier was as hard as boulder and you as wet as the caribbean sea.

you pondered the thought, looking at him deeply with judgmental narrowed eyes that made him feel tiny underneath your gaze, "tomorrow?" your voice echoed through the room as you raised an eyebrow, suggesting the possibility of a rematch tomorrow.

"tomorrow." he smirked while confirming with a nodding of his head. suddenly, with his hands on your waist he twisted you both to your original positions. "i win." he remarked smugly before placing a kiss onto your forehead.

"you're going to eat those words tomororw, pendejo." you stated to him, meaning every word as you cupped his cheeks within your palms.

"yeah?" he gently chuckled, moving his hand on top of top of yours and pulling it away from the side of his face to place his lips in the center of your palm, "well," he paused for a second to edge on his next sentence, pondering the impact of his words. "tonight i'm going to be eating you." he lowly spoke, placing one kiss on your palm before trailing more of his admiration down your forearm.

"oh really now?" you face lifted in an amused manner, watching him closely. javier has always had strong confidence in himself, and not once did it ever intimidate you. you stood highly, sometimes thought the world of yourself just as much as he did. it's another reason why there has been disputes between you two, neither of ever apologized. you hated the thought of it, being anything like what you grew up in, but you were just following what your father taught you. however, even with all the fights and flaws you two shared with one another you were always able to move past them and become stronger together.

"really." his lips pulled into a smile as he left your line of sight and tailed downwards. you could feel his finger pulling down your shorts revealing the matching laced set panties, as if you had put on a show just for him. he placed a kiss on the fabric, thanking god that he had sent such a beautiful gift for him that's now laying in his bed.

"you're telling me the first thing we're going to do together is you eating me out?" you laughed, pushing yourself up into your elbows. you'd never admit it, but he did look perfect in between your subconsciously spread out legs. he looked at you with those dark doe eyes of his.

"why .. do you not want to?" he questioned, his head departing from your thighs to look into your eyes.

"you wouldn't even know what to do!" you, now amused by his level of confidence, knock him down a peg to remind him that this was his first time ever doing something like that — like this.

his dark brown eyebrows furrowed, ".. are you challenging me?" his self esteem feeling threatened by her sense of 'experience'.

"what you've seen on porn doesn't count." you reply with a rolling of your eyes.

he stays silent for a moment, thinking of his next comeback. then, it hits him in the face. "practice makes perfect?" his voice was small, like it was the last card he had stacked. he grinned as that alone sent you in a fit of laughter.

"you're an idiot." you tell him, love filling up within your eyes as your hands rested on his broad shoulders. "we have plenty of time, let's just .. start easy."

"easy.." he repeats, almost to remind himself that he has plenty more time to experiment with you and as for his first time .. he'd be more than willing to just start with the basics. to learn how your bodies work together, how they gain the others pleasure, how to get the other to sing symphonies together, and how it feels to look from the high mountains of euphoria together before taking on even more difficult tasks. "okay." he agreed with your proposal, pulling himself back up to your face.

"there we go.." you beamed at him obeying your commands for once in his life. one of your arms snake around his neck as you pulled him closer into your warmth while the other pushed down his shorts that he always found himself sleeping in. his eyes landed on your collarbone which had his full name imprinted on it, and he couldn't help himself but to kiss at it. it was an area which he shockingly hadn't touched at all. at his sudden affection, your hand that laid over his shoulder shifted into his jungle of hair. your fingers roaming freely as you leaned your head backwards to release a noise of delight. "javi.." you breathlessly called out to him, mouth agape as you took quick breaths in and out.

his eyes widened at your reaction as he realized what you had done before he lunged towards you and began to put all of his attention to that very spot. to clarify, the agreement of tattoos on your eighteen birthday was the other chose the spot, just the name had to be the others. it was simple. he had your name plastered on the back of his neck. it seemed like the correct spot for it because in school you sit behind him in all of your classes. he wanted you to see that he was yours at all times, to remind you that his heart belong to you alone. you chose a spot right above your collarbone. at the time, he didn't understand why you'd get it somewhere that was so visible to everyone. he thought that perhaps it was a kink of yours, to be claimed by someone. however, now he realized what it was.

it was your sweet spot.

the place that a touch alone could make you fill the room with your raptures. it was extremely sensitive — most definitely fucking hurt to even get his name tattooed on there since there was barely any skin and it was all bone. the dirty play that you made sent his immense arousal for you already bursting through the roof. "dirty move, baby." javier stated, kissing his way back to your lips by going up your throat only to be met with your shit-eating grin.

you take a deep breath out, trying to recollect yourself after his assault onto your sweet spot. your breath hitched as you spoke, "'if you're not playing dirty, you're not trying.'" you sassily repeat a saying which javier has told you thousands of times before, and now it was coming and bitting him in the ass.

he rolls his eyes, "you're going to regret that." he warned you, before kissing the tip of your chin. he'll make sure to get you back for that tomorrow at your rematch, but right now .. he has more pressing matters to attend to such as the drenched cloth that's basically connected to you, and the bulge that's shaped out in his briefs. "cariño, you're so wet.." he noted, pulling his body upwards in order to get away from you to address what is causing all of your discomfort. since he's never experienced such a sight as you squirming underneath his gaze to make eye contact with him, he was frozen.

not that he didn't want to ease your ills, but with the anxiety that he won't be able to. "javier," you began to sit up fully, meeting his gaze with the lightest bit of tilting your head backwards in order to do so. "i want you." you tell him as you wrap your hands around his sculpted shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. "i want you, javier peña." you repeated your past words to get the message across indefinitely. you could feel his heart rate increase as his chest was pulsing against your own.

javier leaned down and stuffed his face in between your shoulder, neck, and head. you could feel him slightly nodding his head at your words, finally letting them sink into his mind and accepting that you wanted this — wanted him, that all the wetness in your panties was because of the effects he has onto you.

your breathe bitches as he pulled down the only cloth that was left to cover yourself from him, and the moment that he revealed it to only him you shivered due to the coldness of the airwaves in his room colliding with the damper you. his lips left soft reassuring pecks onto your shoulder as he pulled down his briefs. you bit down on your lip harshly due to the tension which earned a splatter of blood slipping into your mouth, a metal taste taking over javier's.

he whispered nothing but sweet nothings to you. 'you're going to be okay.', 'i got you.', 'don't be scared.' are just examples of what he was saying. he wouldn't confess it, but he was just as nervous as you were.

you wouldn't admit it, but this was your first time as well — the first time you were doing it with someone you truly loved, that is. you loved javier more than life itself. he made every single pain blossom into something lovely, every scar healed into a fetching pattern. he was so good for you; yet, you couldn't help but think that you were contaminating him. that's why you pushed him away for so long — you didn't want to break him beyond repair with your own hands. your father broke you, other partners broke you, so .. what could you do?

however, all those virulent thoughts slipped away as javier entered your hotness at an excruciatingly slow pace. your breath hitched as you lowly cursed out to javier for the no warning sign. you hadn't expected him to engulf the entirety your walls had to offer. with widened eyes he stopped the second you began to show signs of discomfort and his heart dropped at the thought of hurting you so badly that tears were brimming to the side of your eyes.

you pressed your body up against his once again, shoving your face into his shoulder as you held on tightly to his neck. "what are you doing javier — just go!" you whispered, yet somehow managed to shout at him. you wanted him to move faster — needing him to relieve the pressure that had been building up during this entire conversation within you. you had already adjusted to him the second he had passed through your soaked walls, and now he was just still which only had burned your body more with a newly sense of desire.

at your pleads, he began his movement in and out of you. he was holding onto your waist tightly, looking down as he had to be aware of exactly where he was thrusting in. his calloused fingers digging into your skin as the tightness of your walls suctioning down onto him was absolutely killing him — fuck, it almost sent him over the edge alone. "i need you to calm down. you're too much .." he breathlessly begged her, moving his hand to her bare upper back in order to rub the skin to calm her down. he could feel her ease up in the slightest bit. "take deep breaths." he gently orders, placing soft pecks against her head which was resting on his shoulder. she was breathing heavily — he could feel the rising and falling on his own chest.

she nods her head at his orders. she succumbed to his orders and did has he pleased: taking a deep breathe in, holding it for a second, and letting it go to disappear within the open room. when he felt her ease against him, he let out sigh of relief before leaning them back against the bed. your hands fall from his neck and roam his chest in order to rememorizes yourself with the shaping of his body that you hadn't forgotten completely since the last time you saw it. "i'm okay." you reassured him as his chocolate eyes met yours. "you can move again."

the second you gave him permission he was back at it. he hadn't said anything about himself, but he was aching. it has been an hour since you arrived at his house and he had been solid ever since that phone call he made to you. he was desperate for release.

his hand drifted up towards your laced bra which he had been eyeing down for a long time. it seemed that he was hesitant the moment his fingers touched the lacing, his thoughts were contaminated with what you would think about it? if this was okay? if after this, would you two be okay? but just like before, all those thoughts go away the second one of your hands intervened in order to guide him towards it. it sent a mental message to him: 'don't think, just feel.'

his hand rested onto one of your breast, and you intertwined hands squeeze it together. a quiet moan escaped your lips as he continued his movements as well as play with your laced chest.

his heart skipped a beat at your noise and how you reacted to his touch. your back subconsciously arched in order to get into a closer proximity to him. your breaths were mixing together as he had finally reached the same destination that he and you both had been looking for. "yes javi — right there!" you stutter as you managed to get out the sentence you wanted in between short breaths.

even though he knew it too and you didn't have to vocalize it, he still loved the way you said it with such pride directed towards him as if he had done something outstanding. he loved the way his name came off from your lips, like it was a historically notable word that mean the most glamour thing. it was the first time he truly felt like a man. suddenly, bringing out of cloud nine due to your soft words alone, you clamped down onto him harshly. his eyes shot open as he groaned loudly in shock and curses constantly spilling out of his mouth naturally.

when he felt your ending splatter on top of him in the most heavenly way he lowly moaned as his climax reached the end sooner than he had expected to as well. the moment he had finished, his mouth was agape as he realized what exactly he had done. he slowly looked up to you with his horrified expression to be met with your angered one.

"i'm so sorry — i didn't know .. and you were so ..." he began to blabbering words that continuously became more smushed together in a state of panic. his cheeks were as red from embarrassment from losing his control so quickly.

however, the second you began to laugh his eyebrows furrowed. "i'm on the pill, you goof." you reminded him of a previous conversation that you two held where you informed him that you were on the pill after he caught you taking it. he finally released a sigh of relief as he was thanking god — shockingly due to the sin he had just committed, that all was well between you two. "that's what you get for not paying attention to me." you say, watching him as he pulled out of you and got off the bed to get a towel.

"pay attention to you?" he raised an eyebrow, questioning what you meant about that.

"you weren't answering me. thinking about another girl we're you?" you smirked, even though you wanted to truly break down at the idea of him even pondering another girl in this bed instead of you.

"never." he replied instantly. he knew exactly what games you play, and how you played them. the moment he returned to your side, he bent down to you. "you're the only girl i ever think about." he reassured her with a peck on the nose before he cleaned you and him up, leaving you speechless.

as you momentarily were lost in your thoughts due to his words, he threw a shirt of his which covered your face completely and blinded your gaze onto him. "hey!" you lowly shouted in protest as you took it off your face and analyzed it. it was one that he hadn't given you before — it was one of his favorites actually. "this is your favorite?" you reminded him, showing off the shirt as if he hadn't worn it a hundred times before.

"yeah? what about it?" he asked you as his back faced you while pulling up his briefs.

you stared at him for judgmental second before pulling the fabric over your head and ushering it down to cover you up. "oh, and you're going to need these." he turned around and threw you a pair of his boxers.

"what?" your eyes expanded as his boxers were laying in front of you. he wanted you to wear his underwear? now, you could take his boxers off everyday any day he wanted, but to wear his boxers was a completely different story.

"i mean, unless you want to wear soaked panties and shorts?" he questioned you, picking up both fabrics and lifting them to show their unwearable state.

you exhaled a defeating breath, "touché." you succumbed to the idea and pulled his boxers over your thighs before laying back on the bed and rethinking life itself. how would you two be after today — after this? would it still be the same .. or would it be more? fuck, what if it'd be less?

the moment his arms snaked around you and pulled you into him, all of the pressing thoughts went away as they usually did whenever he was close to you. it was like he was your safe space. a place to go when things become too much — home. you forgot how much you loved to be in javier's presence. how much you loved how his arms were shaped perfectly to hold your figure. one of your hands intertwined your fingers with one of his, and the other shifted to laying underneath the pillow you were resting your head on. "do you want me to go home?" you quietly whisper into the dark void that you found yourself in. javier had shut the lights off the second he was clothed, and in an instant after his task was done he was already returning to your side.

javier didn't understand how you thought you were so little in his life as if you didn't mean anything to him but a quick fuck and a friend to call upon whenever he wanted. it was absolutely jarring to him to witness such untruthful thoughts. "absolutely not." he whispered into your ear. "i need you here with me, always." he confesses to you, kissing the back of your head. it almost seemed like he had claimed every bit of your body today with his mouth his lips brushed against your skin.

his words alone made you softly smile, yet he couldn't see that reaction from you. all he could think about your reaction was the comforting silence he was blessed with. you didn't move, you didn't gripe, you stayed. you stayed for him and that's all that mattered.

tomorrow morning, you two would talk about where to take the next steps — what ground you two would cover as a team or solo. he hoped with every bone in his body that he wouldn't travel across another inch of this planet without you by his side. with you to come back to whenever he felt weak and needed someone to lay his head upon and just .. let out everything he had built up inside him. tomorrow morning would make or break him for the rest of his days, and yet he fell asleep faster than lighting. he subconsciously pulled you even closer into him, your legs twisting together in a naturally beautiful pattern. your bodies connected in more ways than just sexual. they were puzzle pieces meant to be together, and they were.

however, sometimes fate has a cruel sense of humor and loves to tear the fates ones apart.

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