#because they are soulmates and nothing can keep them apart in the end

[countessofravenclaw]

Like the Red Rose blooms in the Oxford Garden: Chapter ten

Sometimes when your heart breaks… it feels like there is no way to fix it. No matter what you try. All the memories get left behind as something unfinished… But maybe, there is to way to fix it, A second chance. Some way to finish the story you two started writing because it was never the end, but just a part of the story… even if you have to travel far to achieve it.

You can say "Goodbye", you can say "Hello". But you'll always find your way back home.

“Was that your phone?” Nina asked as Gastón’s phone dinged. 

They had been studying at the library on the evening as the term finals closed in on them. There only was about a month left before the exams, and the summer would begin.

“Oh, yeah I think it was,” Gastón reached for his phone and looked at it. “It was an email… from Renishaw.” 

“What does it say?” Nina closed the book she had been browsing through, “I thought you already got the job.”

“I did,” Gastón opened the email. He would be continuing the internship he had done at Renishaw last summer, this summer. “It must be just some information.”

“He opened the email and read it through. “Huh?” 

“What is it?” Gastón looked up and saw Nina’s face growing in concern.

“Oh, nothing bad,” he reached her hand in reassurance, “Just the email said that I don’t need to do the three-week intern training period there, because I was there last year.”

“Is that a bad or good thing?”

“Good,” Gastón laughed while playing with Nina’s fingers, “It means that I have three weeks free at the start of summer. So, what do you wanna do?”

“What am I supposed to want to do?” Nina looked at him. The look of slight confusion on her face was way too cute, and Gastón had to try his hardest not to get distracted. 

“Well, it would be a waste if we just sit here the whole summer. There are lot of different things we can do.”

“I don’t know how to come up with something. You choose.”

“Well, if you want me to.” Gastón grinned at Nina, “We already were at Kent, but there are lot of other places here as well.” Gastón stopped to think for a moment, “but, honestly, we can just do that during the weekends if we want, so… How about we go back home?”

“Home?” Nina looked up at his eyes, “You wanna return to Buenos Aires?”

“Well… Yeah.” Gastón reached to take both of her hands to his and ran his thumps over them. “I have been thinking that for a while now. I mean, I didn’t come back last year, and honestly kind of regret it. Matteo really tried to get me to come. So, you’d like that, if we did go back? We could stay at mine.”

“Yes, I really would love that,” Nina smiled at him, “Your parents would be fine with us staying there?”

“Of course. I am not sure about their schedules right now, but if we get to be by ourselves, I’m not gonna be upset.” Gastón got up from his chair and moved to one on the other side of the table next to Nina.

“Luna will be so excited,” Nina smiled, “It would be so great to see everybody…and we can tell them.”

“Right, they don’t know,” Gastón laughed, “Almost forgot about that. If Luna and Matteo have kept their mouths shut, which I think they actually have. Jazmin would have flown across the ocean to make a video about this.”

“She’s probably never going to change in that aspect,” Nina laughed, “At least Delfi shut Fab and Chic down, but Jazmin is never going to stop.”

“We’re never going to live to see that day,” Gastón agreed, “How about we just call Matteo and Luna now, and let them know, so we can plan accordingly? And make sure nothing has actually leaked and they are just waiting to ambush us.”

“That's a good idea.”

“Well, lets not waste any time.” Gastón took his phone out and called Matteo.

“Hey!!!” Matteo appeared on the screen after a moment, “Nice to see you fancy school people. I was beginning to worry that you are beginning to forget how to speak Spanish.”

“We spoke yesterday,” Gastón snarked while changing his phone to his other hand, while wrapping the other around Nina. “Is Luna there?”

“We want to talk to you both.” Nina continued.

“Yeah, she is here… somewhere.” Matteo appeared to look around, “I think she went to the kitchen.”

Nina and Gastón looked as Matteo got up, from Mansion’s living room from the looks of it, and started walking around. 

“She’s with Simon in the kitchen,” Matteo whispered to them, “Do you want to…?”

“Just don’t show the screen,” Gastón said, while their view on the video call got quite crooked as Matteo lowered the phone.

“Chica Delivery,” Matteo entered the kitchen where Luna was sitting with Simon and Ambar, “Can you come with me for a moment?”

“For what?” Nina and Gastón heard Luna’s voice question. 

“We, uhm, have a phone call,” Gastón felt half bad for kind of finding Matteo’s stumblings in the attempt of hiding who he had been talking, kind of funny.

“From who?” Simon’s voice rang, “Why the secrecy?”

“There is no secrecy. It is my cousin, wants to meet my girlfriend,” Matteo continued, “And its none of your business anyway.”

“You know, if you wanna make out, you can just say so!” Ambar’s voice yelled as Luna and Matteo walked to the mansion’s stairwell.

“What does your cousin want from me?” Luna questioned as they entered her room. 

“It’s not my cousin,” Mateo huffed and sat on her bed, flipping the videocall’s camera back to the front and spoke to Nina and Gastón. “I hope this means we can stop this act at some point soon.”

“Oh my gosh!!! Hi!” Luna jumped next to Matteo on the bed. “You could have just said that it was them.”

“Actually, your performance was very entertaining,” Gastón laughed. 

“Glad you enjoyed it,” Matteo rolled his eyes sarcastically. “So what is up with you two?”

“Well, we want to talk with you two about something,” Gastón started talking, “You’ll probably be happy about that, since you like to complain.”

“Uuuuuu, about what?” Luna leaned closer, excited.

“We were talking about the summer, and Gastón’s internship doesn’t start until in a few weeks from starts of the summer—” Nina started explaining, “—so we thought we’d come back, for a couple of weeks.”

“REALLY!?!” Luna started jumping, “OMG! You are really planning on coming back?”

“Yeah, I think we both miss all of you there,” Gastón responded, “Plus, maybe it is time to let everyone know, about us I mean. You two haven’t told anybody right?”

“Of course not.” Matteo scoffed clearly smiling, “Everyone else is in deep darkness about you two, even if it really should be really obvious, if they just saw your faces.”

“Well, thats the plan, we want to tell everybody.”

“So, when exactly are you coming, on what day?” Matteo asked, “Because, uhm… actually, I have an idea. We’ll be at Italy for a couple of days at the start of summer, so what if we fly to you after that and then we fly back to Argentina together.”

***

“I wonder what Matteo bribed Luna with to get her on this early morning flight,” Gastón said to Nina as they were walking towards Luna and Matteo’s arrival gate at 9:35 the morning at Heathrow.

“I honestly don’t know, or do I want to know,” Nina shook her head and turned to look at Gastón’s watch, “When is it landing?”

“In ten minutes,” Gastón said pulling her closer by the waist as they sat down. “We better enjoy the quiet while we can.”

“You know you miss them,” Nina rolled her eyes at him before leaning her head in his shoulder, “But it probably will take a while until they can get off. I can’t imagine Luna and the baggage claim conveyer belt are good friends. Remember when she was convinced that she had lost her bag at Cancun during Roda Fest?”

“Good times,” Gastón laughed before brushing a strand of hair back behind Nina’s ear. He looked like he was about to lean in to kiss her when a burst of people started coming out of the arrivals gate. 

There was no sign of Luna and Matteo until the crowd started dwindling. 

“¿Estás seguro de que esta es la dirección correcta?” A bubbly voice all a sudden was heard at the terminal.

“Yes, this is the right direction.”

“But are you sure? We need to find them.”

“I have been here before… I am sure.”

Nina and Gastón raised their heads to see a couple walk out of the gate. Luna was hard to miss in the crowd while she was wearing a flagrantly bright rainbow summer dress. 

“But are they here?” Luna was jumping on her tiptoes on the platform sneakers she was wearing, “What if they went to the wrong gate?”

“They didn’t,” Nina and Gastón saw Matteo and Luna’s heads turn towards them and they got up from the bench they had been sitting. “They’re right there.”

“AAAAAAAaaaaaahhhh!” Nina felt Gastón detach his arm from around her, just a few moments before she was tackled into an extremely tight hug. Wasn’t Luna just at the other side of the terminal? Well, maybe she had finally actually learned to fly. “I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!”

“I missed you too.” Nina hugged Luna back, and Luna tightened her grip, so it got hard to breathe for a moment. 

“You look so good!” Luna still kept jumping up and down after she had released Nina, “You have not fully turned into a “posh English lady” on me?” Luna joked.

“No, never,” Nina laughed. She turned to look at Gastón who was just coming out of his own hug with Matteo.

“I honestly can’t believe this! You’re together again. True love really conquers all!” Luna gushed after tackling Gastón in a hug as well. 

“I am with her,” Matteo laughed, “I honestly needed to see this in person, so now I can fully believe it.”

“You need a demonstration?” Nina saw Gastón smirk before his arm wrapped around her pulling her into a kiss. 

***

“So, you are looking very well,” Matteo nudged Gastón with his elbow. They had separated from the girls at first when they had arrived at campus because Luna had wanted to see Nina’s room. “Such a different tune from the fall.”

“Well, it is hard to mask how happy she makes me.” Gastón smiled as he opened the door to his room. Oliver and Jacob had left to their homes earlier during the week.

“And everything that comes with it?” Matteo raised an eyebrow suggestively as he sat down.

“Well, I don’t have any reasons to complain,” Gastón nodded his head, “She’s amazing, in any way imaginable. Even though I do sometimes fear that Nina’s mother is getting ready to wring my neck for what we have been doing, like she probably would have when Nina was 17.”

“Are you in a relationship if you are not scared of your in-laws?” Matteo laughed, “Oh, I can finally say this in person. Congratulations, you’re no longer acting like an idiot!”

“You been waiting for a long time to say that huh?” Gastón punched Matteo lightly on the shoulder.

“Yes!” Matteo punched him right back, “I have been watching you to be the biggest mess in your life when it has come to Nina for FOUR years now… it’s finally over! I am just so happy about you two being happy.”

“I mean, I could say the same about you and Luna—” Gastón was interrupted by the door opening. Had he not locked it and the girls were coming… No, they would have heard them afar.

“I thought you left in the morning?” Gastón asked as James suddenly walked through the door.

“Series of unfortunate events… because I don’t have a car,” James leaned on the doorframe, “Dad’s picking me up…” James moved his eyes in the room and finally noticed Matteo, “...I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company. Wait… are you Matteo?”

“En vivo y en persona.” Matteo got up from the bed, while eyeing James verily. Gastón had not really considered how this meeting would go down before this moment. Matteo out of principle wasn’t the biggest fan of Gastón’s other friends —whom he had never met until now— because he was a bit territorial about their friendship. On the other hand, Matteo did know that what he and Gastón had was never going to be broken. 

“Matteo, be nice.” He said in Spanish.

“I am always nice,” Matteo rolled his eyes before offering his hand to James and switching to English, “Matteo Balsano, Gastón’s best friend.”

“James Wilson,” James shook Matteo’s hand, “Nice to finally meet you, since I have heard a lot about you. Plus, I have heard you multiple times, but never understood what was being said.”

“Yeah, Spanish can be a hard language to master… But I managed to do it once upon a time.” Matteo deadpanned. Gastón found this scene purely comical.

“So, you are flying to Buenos Aires in the evening?”

“Yeah,” Gastón answered James, “Matteo and his girlfriend flew here from Italy, so we can go back together. Nina’s showing her around.”

“Oh yeah, you finally got to meet her,” James directed his words to Matteo who threw Gastón a side glance. “I am sure you have heard all about everything to do with Nina, so you definitely can agree that it definitely was such a relief that Gastón stopped being an idiot.”

“Yeah, I have a lot of experience with him being an idiot when it comes to girls. Nina’s no exception” Matteo started saying, his side eye towards Gastón growing “But yep, I have met her… for the first time.”

“Don’t oversell it,” Gastón said to Matteo in Spanish so James couldn’t hear. “We should probably go find the girls.” 

“James, I see you at the fall.” He patted James on the back as he and Matteo walked out of the door.

“How long are you gonna keep this up?” Matteo questioned as they were walking down a hallway, “These guys still don’t know about your crazy quest for the invisible internet girl?”

“Or that I knew her before at all,” Gastón shook his head, “I even told them that Luna’s name is Sol, because otherwise, it would look quite weird that my best friend's girlfriend has the exact same name as Nina’s best friend.”

“You do know that you need to tell them someday,” Matteo continued, “You can’t lie to save your life, so I am surprised that anyone has ever bought this. They’ll find out during the wedding anyway.”

“When have you become this wise?” Gastón nudged Matteo with his elbow.

“I have always been like it,” Matteo shrugged laughing, “But don’t change the subject. They need to know before the wedding.” He looked at Gastón smirking, “What? We both know that that’s the endgame here. Not like you haven’t thought about it.”

“Of course, I have.” Gastón smiled. He had thought about it, maybe a little too much for only being 20, but he couldn’t help it. That was the only future he saw in his mind. “But, we've only been together again for a little over a month. We can’t just pick up where we left off and were young. Nina’s 19. Ana would actually kill me. I guess there is no rush, if we're being realistic here. It’s not like you have any proposal plans yet either.” 

“Hey! We were talking about you!” Matteo pointed a finger at Gastón.

“It’s really good to have you back!” Gastón started laughing.

“You too,” Matteo hugged him suddenly, “I honestly missed you, a lot.”

***

“Are your roommates here?” Luna asked while skipping ahead of Nina in the stairwell.

“No, I told you, Marlee and Ariana went home earlier this week.” Nina explained as she opened the door to the level where her room was located. 

“Awww, thats sad.” Luna hung her head as they walked on a hallway, “They sound awesome, I would like to meet them.”

“I am sure you will,” Nina said as she opened her dorm room’s door.

“Uuuuuuu, this room is nice,” Luna gushed as they walked into the room. It was a little more bare than normal as Marlee and Ariana had taken most of their things home. “But have you been staying here alone now that they’ve gone?”

“No, I haven’t been staying here,” Nina said as she sat on her bed. “Gastón’s roommates are also gone, so I have been spending the night there.”

“Oh, right,” Luna said while jumping next to Nina, “So, do you need any help with packing?”

“I got everything sorted out yesterday,” Nina said while pointing to the suitcase next to the bed. That had been one of the only times she had actually been back in her room after Oliver and Jacob had been gone. Staying in separate rooms with Gastón didn’t make any sense when they weren’t forced to do it.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. 

“Are we going to eat or what?” Matteo and Gastón appeared through the door, “I am starving.”

*

Nina and Gastón were sitting at the table with Ana. They had arrived in Buenos Aires the morning the day before and stayed at Gastón’s house. Nina’s mom had insisted that they come to have lunch with her as soon as they arrived. 

Ana knew about them already, Nina had told her parents pretty soon after they had talked to Gastón’s parents. Their friends at Buenos Aires on the other hand… still had no idea, but they had a plan… or part of it. After they were done with Ana they were going to meet with Luna and Matteo at the mansion. 

According to their plan, Simon and Ambar would be the first ones to be told. Luna and Matteo had told them that Nina would be visiting. After that, they would figure out how to tell the others. 

“Isla and Marco must be happy to have you back,” Ana said addressing Gastón. 

“Well, they would be,” Gastón laughed, “If they were here. They’re in Columbia. They were actually quite mad, that we were coming back while they were gone. But they’ll be back next week, and I will get no peace.”

“Well, I understand them quite well,” Ana turned toward Nina, “I would be the same way if you came back while I wasn’t here.”

“Well, you never travel anyway,” Nina rolled her eyes, “So you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Why would I want to travel? Ana continued, “There is plenty of justice in need to serving right here in Buenos Aires. Not like your father, who seems to be very at home at Miami.”

“You know Dad’s very happy there,” Nina responded, “What would he need to be here anyway? I’m not here. Oh, did you get those boxes I asked for?”

“Yes, I did.” Ana said, “What do you need them for?”

“I need to sort out my stuff so I can ship some of it over.” Nina answered. She had thought she had already explained this to Mom. “I am not going to be gone forever. We talked about this. Just until I am done with my degree. If you feel lonely you can just say so.”

“Actually, have you talked to Mora lately?”

“No, not really,” Nina furrowed her brow. 

“Well, she’s coming back from Milan.” Ana smiled.

*

“What are you looking at?” Nina asked as she walked back to her room after grabbing couple things from downstairs. Her mother had left to meet a client so Nina and Gastón had been left alone. They had few hours before they had agreed to meet up with Luna and Matteo. 

Gastón had been standing in front of her nightstand looking at something. Nina walked behind him. He was holding the framed picture from her graduation with everyone, in his hand.

“You were very beautiful,” His head turned towards her for a moment. There was clear sadness in his eyes. “I should have been there.”

“No one can blame you for not being,” Nina wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him from behind. “You were across the ocean and had a lot of things going on. Renishaw is more than a formidable place to have an internship at as a freshman and look where it has gotten you now.”

“That's what I said to Matteo, but I was lying,” Gastón put the photo back down, “If I would have tried, I could have come to see your performance live at the River Live Fest, Luna’s party, and to your graduation. Mom and Dad have miles for the rest of my life… I just couldn’t do it. It wouldn’t have been fair to you and… I couldn’t have borne to see you, with him.”

“I can’t blame you for that either.”

“He’s not in this picture.”

“I broke up with him the day before,” Nina explained. She still felt guilty when she thought of that. “So, he obviously didn’t show up. I don’t know what happened with him afterward, except that he doesn’t work at Roller anymore. Maybe it’s for the best that we don’t see each other, I hurt Eric way too much for it to be fair for us to be friends.”

“You could never hurt anybody.” Gastón turned around and ran his finger on Nina’s cheek. 

“But I have, and probably will in the future.” Nina shook her head before looking into his eyes, “Why are we even talking about my ex? There’s no point to that, he’s gone, and I am in love with you. I only hope that he is happy, the way I am.”

Gastón pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around Nina as she leaned her head on his chest. Her mind turned to peaceful almost at once. 

“So, I am pretty sure your stuff isn’t going to pack itself,” Gastón said looking around in Nina’s room. “Are you taking those photos?”

“Should I?” Nina asked looking at her nightstand, “Did you pack the ones you have from your graduation?”

“Yes. I thought I’d take that whole album.” Gastón nodded, “It’s just something nice to have. Those are good pictures.”

“I agree,” Nina said, turning her head, “I’ll look through some of the books I have here, see if I wanna take any.”

She was leaning forward on the bookcase when she felt fingers trace down on her spine. 

“What are you doing?” She turned around and Gastón’s arm grabbed her tight around the waist. 

“Well, just a thought. I did some calculations, and we have more than plenty of time on our hands and your mother’s gone…”

“We were supposed be packing.” A smile formed on Nina’s lips as his hand moved to her hip, caging her against the wall next to the bookcase. She had no actual intention of fighting his intentions, she had truthfully thought about it herself. Gastón was just the one who acted on more daring impulses faster.

“We can 100 percent get it done, but now that we’re alone, and will probably be hounded by everyone the rest of the day when we get to the mansion.”

“Aha.”

***

“Welcome!” Luna and Matteo were waiting for them at the mansion’s gate when Gastón drove his car up to the gate.   

“Is everything in order?” Nina asked Luna as they started walking across the garden.

“Yes,” Luna was practically bouncing. “Simon and Ambar are thinking that just Nina is coming.”

“Pedro’s not here,” Matteo continued, “He’s out with Delfi, house hunting. Or not house hunting exactly but looking for an apartment so they can move in together.”

“Oh, I just love surprises!” Luna jumped up. 

“Lets just hope it’s a good one,” Gastón ran his hand on the back of his neck. He had been detached from the rest of the group, you couldn’t get around that fact, so he was a little nervous. 

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Luna looked at him. “When has love not been good news?”

“Well, it will be a surprise,” Nina reached to take Gastón’s hand, “No one knows that we even ended up at the same campus.”

“I can’t wait to see Simon’s face,” Matteo laughed. 

“I’m excited!” Luna jumped again as they got to the door.

“Here we go,” Gastón shared a look with Nina and tightened his grip on her hand as Luna opened the door and four of them walked inside the mansion. The hall was empty. 

“Hey!” Luna yelled inside the house and winked an eye to the others, “SHE’S HERE!”

After a moment, footstep started approaching them.

“Nina’s here already?” Ambar, wearing pastels once more, emerged from direction of the kitchen, Simon behind her. “So great that you’re back…”

Ambar’s voice trailed off as Gastón felt both of hers and Simon’s eyes focus on him. Amber clearly was attempting to minimize the shock on her face.

Simon on the other hand did not even try: “What?”

*

“You need to tell us everything,” Ambar said once everyone was sitting down at the mansion’s living room. “I mean, we knew nothing about this at all.”

“Well, it’s a long story,” Gastón said looking at Nina, “We will probably never know how this happened, but someone somewhere was clearly on my side. I have mentioned my friends before, Jacob, Oliver, James, but important to this are Ariana and Marlee.”

“Who just happened to be my roommates,” Nina continued, “So it was kind of impossible to avoid each other.”

“We bumped into her on the first day, not that I knew that Nina was there, Matteo.” Gastón shot a side-eye towards his best friend, “So I thought I was hallucinating for a second. But that being said, it was just impossible to stay away from her. Should have known that from the other times I tried that. It’s impossible.”

“We all know that fighting against something that is inevitable has no use,” Simon said draping his arm around Ambar. 

“But you kept this under wraps really well,” Ambar continued, “I mean, I am gonna be honest here, many of us, me included were curious of what would become of you now that Nina had come to Oxford, but then we heard nothing.” Then she suddenly turned toward Luna and Matteo, “I also can’t believe that you two knew about this and somehow kept it secret.”

“I can keep a secret.” Luna protested. 

“Well, yes, you can, but I thought you would have been bouncing off the walls.”

“She was, trust me.” Matteo remarked, “Not like they told us right away either, though.”

“It was two weeks,” Gastón rolled his eyes, “And you were the first to know before anybody else.”

“How did your other friends react?” Simon asked. 

“Well, thats the thing,” Gastón smiled shortly, “They do not know. I mean they know that were together and I had to deal with month of nagging about needing to ask Nina out, not just from Matteo. All they know that I had a girlfriend in Buenos Aires who I left… they don’t know that Nina’s the same person.”

“Seriously?” Simon and Ambar looked astonished, “That kind of secret is almost impossible to keep.”

“They don’t speak any Spanish, so we don’t need to worry about saying something and being overheard,” Nina started talking. Gastón slid his arm on her waist, lacing his left-hand fingers with hers. “We know that we need to tell them at some point, but don’t exactly know how. Yet anyway.”

“It is one step at the time, right now.” Gastón continued, “Right now, we need to tell you all that we’re back together. You we’re the first ones after Luna and Matteo, then there are the rest.”

“Do you have any plan for that?” Luna asked, “Because Ramiro took Jim and Yam to Chile.”

“Thats the problem, not everyone is even here.” Nina breathed.  

“I might have an idea,” Ambar perked up suddenly. 

“All the help is welcomed.”

“Okay good,” Ambar continued, “Unlock your phones and give them to me.”

“Okay…” Gastón and Nina handed their phones to Ambar. 

“So, I trust, when the case is two of you, that you have pictures.” Ambar looked very focused, “Preferably one where you are kissing.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Perfect. Now everyone else, mute the group chat.” Ambar chucked her own phone to Simon. “So, I have your permission to do this?” She looked at Nina and Gastón. 

“Yes.”

“Great,” Ambar smiled and handed them their phones back. “Now everyone will definitely know within the hour. If I have learned anything from Delfi and Jazmin, it is that news travel quickly.”

“Well, now that thats done, tell me everything about Oxford.” Ambar continued, “It must be so beautiful.”

“It truly is,” Nina started saying, “I feel like I have learned more during this year than I have in my whole life. The language was a bit challenging at first, but I am starting to get the hang of it.”

“She is already showing signs of a British accent,” Gastón turned to look at her, “So she is definitely getting the hang of it.”

“Those two won’t speak any Spanish anymore once they return to us for good,” Matteo laughed. 

“Well, we’ll see in four years.” Gastón rolled his eyes again toward Matteo.

“Four years?” Simon questioned.

“Until I graduate,” Nina explained. 

“Are you coming back then too?” Ambar looked at Gastón. “I thought you’d be doing a PhD.”

“Oh no, I am not doing that,” He shook his head, “I did think about it at some point, but no. It would be way too much effort right now and masters in science and technology from Oxford will get me way ahead in life already. I can get that doctorate later if I want, but I don’t wanna spend all my twenties studying. There are other things I want out of life.”

“I am just going to sit here and pretend to know what you are talking about,” Simon laughed, “I was talking to Mom the other day and happen to mention that two of my friends go to Oxford and for a moment she did not believe that I have winded up in the such sophisticated crowd, especially with Ambar at law-school. Rico and Julio, my brothers, flat out didn’t believe me.”

“Well, everyone has their own paths,” Nina nodded, “How are you doing with Pedro and the band?”

“Still figuring it out,” Simon grimaced, “But we’re optimistic. It is really not the same with no Nico.”

“Nico still having fun at New York?” Matteo crossed his arms, “We haven’t heard of him in a while.”

“Thats the thing,” Simon continued furrowing his brow, “I am not sure… He and Ada have not worked out.”

“Maybe he’ll come back then!” Luna piped up. 

“We can hope that.” Simon shook his head smiling. 

“Lot of people are coming back now,” Ambar said looking down, “I mean I came back from pretty much oblivion… and honestly I should thank you.” She turned to look at Gastón. “You don’t need to be this nice to me, last we saw each other I was skating for the Sliders.”

“Actually, it was during the Open,” Gastón responded. Honestly, he didn’t see any reason to be mad at Ambar. He had heard many good things about how she had turned things around. 

“I have been trying to compartmentalize the Red Sharks out of my mind.” Ambar closed her eyes.

“Well, it doesn’t matter. We’re fine. I have known you for a long time, and honestly proud of you.”

“How long have you known each other?” Simon leaned forward, curious.

“Since third grade?” Ambar counted with her fingers, “I am not doing the math right now. I went my whole comprehensive schooling at La Hoja de roble.”

“And I started there when I was nine,” Gastón added, “So yeah, third grade checks out. If I remember correctly both Delfi and Jazmin both started there in the fifth grade.”

“Did you go to that school as well?” Luna asked Matteo.

“Yep, I started there at eighth grade. Probably like a week or two after the semester actually started, because Dad’s moving schedule of course couldn’t possibly let me start school like a normal person.”

“Yep, I saved your skin during the chemistry class.” Gastón laughed. 

“Thats not what happened!” Matteo countered. “I had it under control.”

“It didn’t look like it,” Gastón shook his head, “You were absolutely lost with Mr. Patrena’s whiteboard.”

“He was the worst,” Ambar huffed, “How anybody ever learned anything from his classes, is beyond me.”

Suddenly they heard the noise of mansion’s door opening. 

“Have you seen this—??!!” Delfi walked through the door, Pedro trying to keep up with her pace behind her, her phone in her hand. They both stopped in their tracks as they saw everyone at the living room. 

“Yes, we have,” Ambar spoke first, “Live, actually.”

“It really is true?” Delfi and Pedro turned to look at Gastón and Nina. 

The Team of Jam&Roller

Ramiro: What?

Jim: IIIiiiiiiIIIIIiiiiIII!! 💗💜💚💙💛

Yam: Omg!!💙💙💙💙

Ramiro: Cool

Jazmin: I need an interview now!

Gastón: No.

Nina: No

{}

Hey! Has anyone been missing the Roller Crew? Well, don't worry, we got them back for a chapter because I miss them too. The reason why I made Simbar to be the first to find out about Gastina is because they will have a strong friendship with each other in my canon. This was the start. Little spoiler here, but you'd know this if you've red SI: Simon and Ambar will come to attend Gastón's graduation, and they will eventually become the godparents to Gastón and Nina's second child. Plus, Simbar with Lutteo are the ones who have had to face the odds when it comes to their love, and they are the Holy Trinity of Ships, who need to be a trio. You know how I feel about that if you read MOT. Also Gastón and Ambar, having known each other the longest, is a nod to Aliados, a show which Agustin and Valentina were both in before Soy Luna (They actually played love interests, and yes it was trippy).

And for my Swifty readers, I know that you always find a way back home is technically not a Taylor song, but she did write it so fair game

#Soy Luna #soy luna fanfiction #Gastina #getting back together #because they are soulmates and nothing can keep them apart in the end #University fic #Through Gastón and Nina's years at Oxford #Other ships are included in the side: #Lutteo #Simbar #Pelfi #Red Rose blooms in the Oxford Garden

[milf-harrington]

i read a fic yesterday (return of the king) where Steve swapped with Eddie at the last second at the end of s4 and ended up being the one who died and had to be left behind and then he came back as a vampire and it just got my brain TICKING.

So role-reversal AU where steve is the one who comes back basically kas-ified as is the common trope with eddie, but where eddie goes to steve, steve goes to robin.

lets say, for funsies, that they managed to kill vecna and max only ended up hospitalised for a broken elbow and a twisted ankle (from falling on it), so everyone has the time and space to grieve.

Steve’s death hits Robin the hardest because he was her person. He was her i-wish-we-could-just-merge-into-one-being. Her ride or die. Her soulmate. And he’d been taken from her, torn apart and left to rot in the very world he’d tried so hard to protect her from. 

The others give her space to let her mourn quietly in her bedroom, dressed in steve’s clothes and listening to his music like if she just tried hard enough she could still merge them together and let him use her lungs to breathe, her heart to pump his blood, her head to share his thoughts. that she could single handedly go from a me to a we.

And then, one day, Robin starts acting weird. She doesn’t know the Wheeler’s phone number and on her way to find it in the phone book, she found the Munson’s first, and when Eddie picks up it’s too a very chipper Robin asking for a lift to the shops where she proceeds to buy an alarming amount of red meat and refuses to answer any questions.

And she’s just- happy. She’s weird and happy and keeps calling Eddie to ask him about Dungeons and Dragons lore and if he can take her to the library or to the butcher and if he can let her borrow his jumper please? I get cold easily. And then she just keeps stealing clothes, from everyone. Sometimes she asks, sometimes she’ll just take a jacket off of the back of a chair and act like nothing happened, sometimes she just sneaks off to go rooting through washing baskets.

Then comes the day she invites Eddie over, probably a week or so after her initial journey into Weird-Ville, nervously rambling about nothing right up until she closes the front door behind them and runs into Eddie’s back because Eddie’s just spotted Steve-fucking-Harrington peering at him from around the corner. 

Apparently, a not-exactly-dead-anymore Steve crawled through Robin’s window one night and has since taken up residence underneath her bed. 

“He was kinda- not all there, at first.” She tells him, chopping a steak into cubes and dropping them into a blender. Steve, winged and fanged and tailed, leans against the counter and watches her with sleepy eyes. “But we’ve been working on it.”

After the initial pants-shitting shock of having her dead best friend re-appear as a creature of the upside down, Robin had simply accepted it and moved on. Happy to have Steve back no matter what it looked like. 

And what it looked like was blending raw meat, and reading together in the bathroom to bring back his ability to talk, and stealing clothes for the veritable nest Steve was building in her closet. The next step in her plan to re-domesticate her best friend, had been to introduce him to another person: Eddie, evidently. 

Steve promptly spends 5 minutes being a feral little creature, scenting Eddie within an inch of his life like he’d done to Robin, and then attempting to plant him in his nest like a little ornament. 

Just. idk. feral kas!steve seeking out robin for safety, who slowly re-introduces him to his humanity and then his future boyfriend.

#stobin #platonic soulmates #also a bit of #steddie #as a treat (for me) #monster steve harrington #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #this has been plaguing me all day #fic ideas

[luxaofhesperides]

Soulmate AU: First Words + End of the World ; requested by @justwannabecat!

Duke has long since accepted that he doesn’t have great luck. Most things in his life tend to go wrong very quickly, or complicate situations he was already struggling in (see: being a meta and getting his powers in the middle of a fight). Having an incomprehensible soulmark is an unpleasant discovery on the morning of his nineteenth birthday, but not entirely unexpected.

He had been hoping for something simple, a common one like hi it’s nice to meet you or sorry, didn’t mean to bump into you.

What Duke gets instead isn’t even words. 

Scrawled across his left hipbone is a string of symbols glowing a faint green. They’re not in a language he recognizes, and the symbols seem to move, shifting ever so slightly so they look different every time he blinks.

“Well,” he says after a solid five minutes of staring into the mirror, unable to rip his eyes off his soulmate’s words, “I hope theirs looks nicer than mine.”

He spends his birthday in a bit of a daze, enjoying time spent with the Waynes and his friends. It’s hard to be fully present when he’s all too aware of the soreness on his hipbone flaring up each time he moves. It’s hard to keep his mind off of it, wanting nothing more than to search for answers, unravel the mystery of his soulmate’s first words.

“Something on your mind?” Jason asks, as the attention shifts off of him for a brief moment as Harper and Cullen get ready to leave and everyone rushes to give their goodbyes,

Duke shrugs, carefully keeping his hands still so they don’t drift to where his soulmark is hidden beneath his clothes. “Yeah. Nothing you need to worry about, though.”

Jason looks him over critically, then nods. 

Duke resigns himself to being investigated by the rest of the Bats. If he’s off enough that Jason had to comment on it, then that means everyone’s noticed and are trying to figure out what’s happened. They’re not going to ask him, because they think he needs space to work through whatever’s got him so distracted, but they’re also not going to just do nothing. 

This won’t be the first time they’ve done this. Duke expects it. Frankly, it would be stranger and much more concerning if they didn’t try to dig up all his secrets the moment they caught wind of him hiding something.

He’ll tell them about getting his soulmark soon. Soulmarks can appear on any birthday between the ages of thirteen to twenty five; they might suspect he got his, but they won’t be able to confirm.

For now, Duke can keep his soulmate’s first words (whatever that gibberish means) to himself.

He makes the decision then and there, as his birthday party winds down, to tell them in a week.

And because his luck is abysmal, a world ending threat hits five days later and suddenly there is no time for soulmarks and first words.

Duke is the last to arrive at the Fortress of Solitude, hitching a ride from Superboy to get there. The biting cold and the harsh winds keep the place far from the reaches of the rest of humanity, surrounded by nothing but deadly white. 

Desolate as the landscape is, it’s still in better shape than the rest of the world.

Things would be better if it was alien invaders. It would be more bearable if some sort of cosmic colossus tried to eat their solar system. At least then there would be something physical that they could fight.

Instead, the world is breaking apart, the sky and earth both fracturing to reveal glowing green faultlines. Timelines are getting mixed up and muddled; just yesterday, Duke had to evacuate a building that had been demolished forty years ago, then stop a gang leader who wouldn’t be born for another eight years from taking over a neighborhood block and holding the residents hostage. Strange creatures are appearing out of nowhere, crawling out of shadows and tide pools and from beneath the roots of trees, all horrible, monstrous things that go after people with teeth and claws. 

The Flashes and the rest of the speedsters are nowhere to be found. The last time anyone get communication from them, it had been Impulse sending Red Robin a glitchy, barely audible video chat saying something along the lines of “trying to fix—unstable—keep us here—never been alive before.” All things that are very concerning to hear, made worse by the fact that no one had been able to contact them at all. 

The quiet loneliness of the Fortress of Solitude is a welcome change from the constant screaming, death, and destruction that’s taken over Gotham as well as the rest of the world. Last he heard, even Justice League China was at the end of their rope. 

“In here,” Superboy instructs, guiding Duke through the halls. There’s no time to look around at Superman’s secret base. All his focus is stuck on staying conscious for another few hours to see if this gathering of heroes is able to find a solution to the world breaking apart.

Batman stands besides Superman. Both nod at Duke when he enters the room. Wonder Woman is watching over John Constantine as he writes something on the floor, muttering under his breath. The rest of the Justice League lean against each other, visibly exhausted as they wait for Constantine to finish up what he’s doing. A few other heroes are here too, and Duke goes to join them where they lean against a wall, fighting to keep their eyes open.

“Hey,” he greets, voice low. “Hanging in there?”

Wonder Girl sighs. “Somehow. I don’t know how much longer we can do this. There’s just too much…”

“We’ll get through this. I mean, even without us out there, plenty of civilians have formed rescue and relief groups to help with keeping things under control,” Speedy says, gently knocking her arm against Wonder Girl’s. “We just gotta keep going. No giving up.”

“What’s this plan, anyways? I just heard that they needed me here to some attempt to fix things.”

“Well, without the speedsters, you’re kind of the only one who can help with time and power related stuff,” Speedy says.

“That’s definitely a stretch. My powers don’t really have anything to do with time. It’s all just light and shadow.”

Speedy shrugs. “Well, you’re here, aren’t you? Too late to complain about it now.”

Duke doesn’t get a chance to say anything else when a loud clap catches his attention. The entire room goes still and silent as Constantine stands up and surveys the circle and symbols he’s written, taking up an entire corner of the large room. 

“Alright,” he says. “Time to get started. Remember, let me do the talking. If you have to speak, it’s only to back me up or when a question is directed to you.”

Batman nods to the other Justice Leaguers, and suddenly everyone is falling into formation behind Constantine. Duke hurries to join them with Wonder Girl and Speedy, taking a place on the edge of the group where he’s a little closer to the circle than the others. 

Constantine begins chanting. His voice is steady though none of the sounds make any sense, refusing to form themselves into recognizable words, and the air the in the room feels heavier. The chalk circle glows a blinding white and Duke can see magic swirling through the air, his power kicking in the let him watch as reality tears and a glowing star in the shape of a boy comes out of it.

Duke blinks, forcing his power down. The hypnotic swirls of magic fade from sight, but the boy still glows, bright and terrible as he floats above the circle and surveys them all. A crown engulfed in blue flame hovers above his head and the fabric of the cosmos is draped over his shoulders as a cape. 

Just from presence alone, Duke can tell that this figure is now the strongest existence in this universe. He hopes this boy king is kind; no one, not even Superman, would be able to beat him in a fight.

The boy king opens his mouth and speaks, but it’s not words than comes out. A strange static like sound emerges, but light and almost melodic. 

His left hipbone burns.

Duke gasps, hand flying down to it, and the boy king’s gaze snaps to meet his.

The world stands still. No one moves. No one dares to breathe.

And then the boy king drops to the floor and walks out of the circle.

“I thought you said that would hold him!” Batman hisses at Constantine, who is looking more and more distressed.

“It was supposed to! I wrote it specifically to hold the King of the Infinite Realms!”

The boy king glances at Constantine. This time, when he speaks, it’s in smooth English. “Did you name the king in your circle?”

“Yeah, I named Pariah Dark… Bloody hell, you ain’t him, are ya?”

“No,” the boy king smiles, “I’m Phantom.”

The cape and crown fade away, and suddenly it’s not an all powerful, terrifying king standing before them, but a young man with white hair and green eyes who looks Duke’s age. Like he could be any other new generation hero in the room. 

“Phantom,” Duke repeats lightly, just under his breath, but it makes Phantom look at him again.

He walks forward, ignoring the other heroes’ aborted attempts to stop him, coupled with Constantine’s frantic back off motion happening behind him. Phantom leaves the circle and the Justice Leaguers behind to stand before Duke, a soft smile on his face.

“Hi,” he says softly, “I dreamed of you.”

“You—what?”

“I dreamed of you. I have for years now. To think that being summoned was what made us meet—” Phantom breaks off into a breathless laugh.

Duke swallows, then drops his had from where it had been pressed against his hip. “So we’re really—? You have my first words too?”

In the corner of his eye, he sees Batman stiffen up. Maybe he should have just told them the day after his birthday, but in Duke’s defense, this is the definition of extenuation circumstances. 

“First words?” Phantom repeats, “Is that… Do we have different soulmate connections?”

“I think so. Here, everyone gets the first words their soulmates say to them appearing somewhere on their body.”

Phantom’s gaze darts down to Duke’s hip, then back up. “Oh. I get dreams. Where I’m from, we dream of our soulmates, and the closer we get to meeting them, the more we remember the dreams.”

“And you dreamed of me.”

“I did.”

“As touching as this is,” Constantine interrupts, and Duke gets to watch as Phantom rolls his eyes, “We summoned you here for a reason. Our world is falling apart at the seams and we need someone powerful, from the Realms, to help us fix it.”

“Okay.”

“...What do you mean ‘okay’?”

“I’ll help,” Phantom says.

“Just like that? No deal to be made, no price to be paid?”

“Just like that. I’m not one for deals anyways. If I can help, then I will. But I do want to see what the problem is with my soulmate by my side, if you don’t mind.”

Batman steps in, fixing Duke with a steady gaze, a barely noticeable tilt of his head. “Signal?”

“Yeah I’ll go with him. Of course I will. The sooner the better, in fact, because everything’s gone to shit.” Duke turns to Phantom, taking hold of one of his hands. “It is really bad out there,” he warns, “If you need help—”

“I’ll ask for help from others in the Realms,” Phantom says. “No offense or anything, but if it’s really that bad, I doubt living mortals will be able to do much to fix things. It’s why I was summoned, right?”

“Right. Let’s get to it, then.”

There’s a flash of mischief in Phantom’s eyes, and cheeky grin stealing across his face for a moment, before he says, “Aye aye, captain!” and picks Duke up like he weighs nothing and flies up through the ceiling.

Duke is able to hear everyone’s surprised, panicked shouts before they’re outside the Fortress of Solitude and Phantom is flying them away. He only needs a few directions from Duke before he finds the first of the large fractures in the sky.

“Yikes,” is all he says, which is not a great thing to hear. “I think I know how to fix it, though. We’ll need to do a little investigating as to who, exactly, started messing around with reality, but once we find the source, it’ll be an easy fix.”

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all week.”

“Even better than meeting your soulmate?”

“I haven’t slept for more than four hours all week. Knowing there’s an end in sight beats everything else.”

Phantom laughs, throwing his head back and Duke can’t help but drink in the sight of him, so ethereal and bright and full of life. “Fair enough! Got any ideas as to where we should start?”

“I’ve got an entire crew of detective vigilantes,” Duke replies. He’s not taking any more chances. No more waiting to talk about important things; he messed up by keeping his soulmark to himself, so he needs to make sure everyone meets his soulmate before shit goes south again. 

“Let’s go find them, then!”

They take off again, soaring through the skies that are barely holding themselves together. 

The world is still ending, and every hero is being stretched thin, but held carefully in Phantom’s arms, racing head first into a solution, Duke can’t help but feel that everything’s going to be alright now. 

He’s had enough bad luck. Now, his soulmate with him, bearing the title of King with grace, things are finally starting to look up.

#ghostlights #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp fic #prompt fill #my writing #when its the end of the world but youre soulmate is here and ready to help fix it #meanwhile constantine had gone ON and ON about how dangerous summoning realms beings are #and all the precautions they have to take and how to be specific when making deals etc etc #it was supposed to be only the justice league but with the world ending they wanted their proteges and allies with them in case things #went wrong w the summoning. and with the rest of the bats helping out in gotham and around the east coast #signal gets to join batman. plus hes got his meta powers that could help in the worst case scenario #NO ONE predicated signal and the GHOST KING being SOULMATES #batman leaves for gotham immediately. updates the rest of the team w 'ghost king successfully summoned. he's signal's soulmate.' #and does not respond to ANYONE after dropping that bomb on them lol #they do all get to meet phantom when they join forces to find whatever doomsday cult caused all this #and the world gets saved!! #also. semi related to all this. the speedesters are gone bc time went wacky and they tried to fix things. but then the speedforce kinda #came to life and trapped them. so they have been lowkey eaten by the speedforce bc the speedforce is the true eldritch monstrosity here #anyways. thanks for the prompt!! #working on ur other two prompts now :)

[ihateliterature]

Not many people know what amatonormativity is and I think that's a shame because it's a very useful concept to keep in mind

So let's do a crash course

What is amatonormativity?

A term coined by Elisabeth Brake in 2011 in her book Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law, used to explain the societal assumption that all people seek romantic relationships in the form of long term monogamous relationships. Easy, right? No

Nothing in life is so easy, especially not something like an idea taken as absolute truth by most people for as long as we can remember

Let's take it from the top

Amatonormativity intersects with cisnormativity, heteronormativity and patriarchal gender norms. What amatonormativity tells us is that EVERYONE wants and needs a committed heterosexual monogamous romantic relationship that usually ends in children. The American 50's ideal is a good example of that

The reason why the other terms I mentioned are not enough to talk about these issues is that they don't target specifically the nature of relationships under patriarchy. They are obviously talked about (especially in discussions about gender norms) but they are not the focus. There is also the problem that many don't recognize the insistence of love as a measure for one's humanity as a problem at all

We live in a world where love is considered to be the very proof of humanity. This is obviously a problem because there is no universally accepted definition of love outside amatonormativity, which claims that only romantic and familial love exist. There is no acknowledgement of alternative ways to love or of humanity existing apart from this concept

What is love? This is what I want to ask you, and I want everyone to think seriously about this question. Is it the idea of a soulmate, of finding your "other half"? Because then comes the 'why?'. Why should anyone find their 'other half'? Why can't people be whole on their own? Is there any weight to this idea at all?

But wait! Some will say! That's not all there is to love. Love is the affection and care you hold for other people. And that is a fair answer. But now I want to ask you, why should that be the measure for someone's humanity?

This conversation goes in circles. Philosophers have tried to find a way to define humanity since Ancient Greece and probably longer, and I'm not here to attempt to answer this question

But there is another question I can answer: why is it important? Why is amatonormativity and being aware of it important? Several reasons. Not only does it affect the lives of aspecs, polyamorous people, childfree and infertile people by making them feel less human for not participating in it's rituals, it also implicitly supports cisnormativity and heteronormativity

The model proposed by amatonormativity is ripe for exploitation, manipulation and abuse. It cuts off people's support networks by devaluing all other kinds of connections, it keeps people from leaving abusive relationships by eliminating all kinds of alternatives to happiness and fulfillment, it makes people enter relationships they don't want because it makes it seem like there is no other alternative, it blinds people to potential or ongoing abuse because it makes us believe that love can only be good and pure

Amatonormativity is often talked about in aspec and polyamorous spaces, but many others are unaware of its influence, and I think this is a mistake and another example of amatonormativity (blinding people to the flaws and alternatives to the ideal it proposes is another way amatonormativity works). And this is a shame, because the queer and feminist movements (along with all the other progressive movements) can't ever attain their goals without addressing amatonormativity

#aromantic #asexual #aspec #arospec #acespec #polyamourous #relationship anarchy #amatonormativity

[queersolarfandompage]

Hilson Masterlist:

A bunch of fics I’ve read in the last month, month and a half. All works are completed and over 9,000 words per fic.

My Love’s an Arbutus - Rated G

House gets a soulmate, WIlson gets Hanahaki. It ends suprisingly well for both of them.

Handle with Care - Rated G

This is the story of how James Wilson ended up on his best friends doorstep with a baby in a carseat he’d stolen from the maternity ward, and the chaos that followed.

A Thousand Teeth (And Yours Amoung Them) - Rated T

Sometimes, when House gets too overwhelmed by his emotions, he gets a little bitey. This is five times House bites Wilson, and one time Wilson finally bites him back.

Systemic - Rated T

Ever since Wilson moved in, House has presented with some inexplicable symptoms. Fortunately, he has a team of talented doctors to aid him with his diagnosis.

Touch Therapy - Rated T

It’s not that House needs the human contact. It’s just that when you’re sharing an apartment, these things happen sometimes.

I Never Sleep With Married Men - Rated T

House and Wilson are married. It’s not what you think.

Double or Nothing - Rated T

House kisses Wilson’s cheek as part of an ‘act’, it feels too natural to him, so, of course, he has to turn it all into a game, Wilson catches up pretty quickly. The duckings try to not get scarred for life.

The Line of Thought - Rated T

Cameron, Foreman, and Chase keep on trying to get into the little details of House’s love life. House doesn’t like that one bit.

In the Eye of the Storm - Rated T

House does not want Wilson to invite his subordinates over for dinner, and he definitely doesn’t want them to be stuck there due to an unexpected snowstorm. But could the two of them find what they need?

Drew Stars Around my Scars - Rated T

James Wilson loves Gregory House in secret, but perhaps he is closer to knowing than he realizes.

Oreos, a Cane, and a Hell of a Lot of Diapers - Rated T

Hilson AU in which House and Wilson are waiting for the birth of their two babies. Watch them survive their first few weeks of parenthood along with the struggles it takes to be a parent.

Impossible - Rated T

“Wilson, hey-“

“…This is James Wilson. I can’t get to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

Oh.

There was a long, sustained tone, and House cleared his throat.

“Wilson. I’m sorry for what I said to you in January. It was over the line, and I shouldn’t have gone there in the first place. I know you don’t want to talk to me, and… I’ll respect that. I just wanted you to know that I’m…”

He looked down at the flowers.

“I’m sorry.”

House and Wilson both have Hanahaki Disease, and would rather die than give up their feelings.

No Need to Worry (Making Up Your Mind) - Rated T

House makes the mistake of telling his mother he can’t join her for Christmas because of his new boyfriend. Somehow, this becomes Wilson’s problem.

Something to Prove Series - Rated T

Something to Prove

When House suddenly want to initiate a relationship with Wilson, Wilson is overjoyed. The feelings he’d held for years are finally mutual. Or are they?

Marathons

House and Wilson decide to let the other people in their lives in on the fact that they’re dating. But no, they can’t just sit them down and tell them. Of course not. That would be too boring.

After School - Rated T

Gregory House is incredibly bored with his life when James Wilson is hired to teach Anatomy & Physiology alongside him at Princeton Plainsboro High School. Though he wants to maintain that same monotony he’s grown comfortable with, House quickly finds out that one school year can change a lot.

Life’s Harsh and Sweet Lessons - Rated T

House and Wilson find out that a simple act of kindness can turn into something so much more for all involved. (I love this fic so much. They’re just gay dog dads.)

Losing Balance - Rated T

There’s a new case for House, in which Wilson gets stuck by chance. The relationship between the patiend and his best friend brings up new issues House and Wilson have to deal with. While the first simply chooses to ignore them, the second is forced to face the changes in their friendship and the influence that the people around them have on it.

Gaseous Nebula - Rated T

After a hard day at work, House and Wilson intend to spend their evening watching the Princeton Philharmonic Orchestra. Instead, the building collapses, leaving on of them trapped in peril and the other desperate for answeres. The chaos drives them to revelations about themselves and each other, but it may be too late.

Ship of Fools - Rated M

The Captain’s a tyrant and possibly a madman, but when the crew rebels it’s Wilson who gets caught in the crossfire.

Bait and Switch - Rated M

Wilson tricks House into participating in a bachelor auction to benefit the hospital.

Fool’s Gold - Rated M

Don’t threaten what isn’t yours. (Dragon AU)

Old Machines - Rated M

Wilson said, “So we’re just two friends who want to have sex with each other, who aren’t going to do anything about it.”

Spoken with the increduility of a beautiful person with low impulse control. House shrugged.

“We’ve been that for years. Why mess with success?”

Wilson was looking at his mouth. He sounded strained. “I don’t think what we’re doing qualifies as success.”

Not as Easy as it Looks on TV - Rated M

House and Wilson share an intimate moment. the likes of which Wilson had never seen before in their three year relationship. It drives Wilson to realize he wants to marry House, but of course it’s never that easy, is it?

That’s How Strong My Love Is - Rated M

For once, Wilson doesn’t fall into a relationship, much to House’s irritataion.

Fresh Feeling - Rated M

House is tricked into going on a team-building trip with his colleagues. He does far more bonding with Wilson than anyone else.

Love Is The Drug - Rated M

What happens when two best friends love each other to the point of hating each other? They try to date and sulk about it.

The More It Took Away - Rated E

House has been hiding this little secret of his for years. Too bad it’s coming back to bite him on the ass.

The Escalated Butt Dial - Rated E

He thinks it must be an accident. Because all he hears is shuffling and soft… clapping? He’s about to hang up and laugh because House butt-dialed him while drunk when he hears it.

A very, very obviously sexual grunt. A moan, if more specific. Whatever. Not whatever. He can’t really breath right now, or think; call back laterr.

He wants to hang up. This is an invasion of privacy. This isn’t okay. House butt-dialed him while masurbating, for fuck’s sake. And it’s not like he wants to listen. Right? So. Just hang up.

The One-Eyed King Takes All - Rated E

The classic crew plays strip poker.

You’re the Only One That Never Gets Old Series - Rated E

You’re the Only One That Never Gets Old

An accidental kiss… and a few taht are not so accidental.

Let’s Take A Breath (Before We Go, Go, Go)

House kisses Wilson to piss off an homophobic patient. It might ahve been his best idea yet.

Keep Me Where the Light Is - Rated E

House has his Earth shattering, (good) knee weakening, life changing revelation about Wilson at such an inopporune time, that he’s tempted to laugh. He would have, if he hadn’t been hands deep in his patient’s organs.

Absinthe - Rated E

Wilson wants a new apartment, House is up to no good, and strange metaphors abound.

Experimental Procedures - Rated E

An offhand comment leads Wilson to test out some unusual methods of pain relief for House. (They’re extremely effective.)

Familiarity (Breeds Contempt) - Rated E

House and Wilson stumble into a relationship, but they run into problems before long.

Around We Go Once More - Rated E

Stuck in a small university town out of the country with Wilson, House is up to day 104, of a ‘grounghog day’ style constatly recurring day scenario. Seeing as the day will repeat, he figures it would be safe to try and seduce Wilson; the one he’s always been attracted to, but never acted on it, for fear it would ‘ruin the friendship.’ This is not as easy as he planned, particularly as Wilson refuses to take him seriously.

Stay With Me - Rated E

House has always depended on Wilson’s friendship, but now he finds himself depending on him for his very life - and Wilson realizes that both mean more to him than he ever realized.

I’ll See You In Court - Rated E

Every year, the council chooses ten alphas to participate in the breeding run — this year Wilson has been chosen. He’ll be forced to bond with whichever omega he knocks up whilst he’s in heat. When House hears, he’s forced to take action. There’s only one way to get pulled from the yearly run, and taht’s to file an intent to bond. And in order to file an intent to bond, you need an omega willing to go through with it.

There’s only a week until Wilson’s heat, but luckily, House knows just the omega for the job.

Things That Go Bump - Rated E

Wilson has nightmares. House gets a headache. Everyone tries to diagnose just what’s going on between them.

If He Spends That Dough (Imma Throw Him a Bone) - Rated E

James Wilson loves to feel needed, so who is hOuse to refuse him?

Money, sex, and love is all you need. In that order.

Howler Tone - Rated E

The calls always happen late at night, and they’re extremely sporadic, with weeks, sometimes months bridging between them. They talk on the phone otherwise, of course; about patients, or dinner plans, or carpooling. Typical stuff. But the calls that always end a certain way always start a certain way.

House develops a new vice. Wilson, as always, enables him.

He Won’t Tell You That He Loves You - Rated E

In which Nolan pulls at the Wilson thread, and House can’t stop it all from unraveling. Repression is a hell of a drug.

A Valuable Friend - Rated E

Wilson has been recieving mysterious late night phone calls. He’s rather House kept his nose out of it - but we all know how well that goes.

Baby Mikey - Rated E

House gets a visitor that will change his life, while Wilson struggles to figure out exactly who he is and where he fits into House’s new life.

Buy Some Time, It’s On My Dime - Rated E

The one where House is a phone sex operator.

You’re So Fuckin’ Special (Run) - Rated E

It was full of pictures.

And all of them are of Wilson.

In Every Lie, In Every Truth That You’d Deny - Rated E

Wilson just needs someone to take care of while he recovers from yet another divorce. That’s all this is.

Ath least, that’s what House thinks.

A Patient’s Guide to Living with ICS - Rated E

House and Wilson share a hotel room at a medical conference.

Hooked (On Feeling Low) - Rated E

There are things even House cannot control.

Can Wilson continue picking up the pieces?

A Modest Proposal - Rated E

Tritter’s case agianst House still depends on subpoenaeded testimony from Wilson. To save House from losing everything, the doctors of PPTH decide on an unusal solution, which in turn leads to unexpected consequences. This is a story about the sacrifices we make that turn out not to be such great sacrifices after all.

Silk, Lace, and Satin Bows - Rated E

“What’re those,” House lilted, taking a firmer hold on the blanket and tugging, even as Wilson cluched the blanket to his chest, his eyse impossibly wide as he shook his head.

“It’s nothing,” Wilson gritted out, cheeks flushing hotly. “I just… I borrowed some underwear from Sam. It’s nothing. Just get out, House,” the younger man hissed, clutching the blanket more firmly to his chest.

The Marrying Kind - Rated E

The one where House is a wedding planner and Wilson keeps on getting married.

TGIF - Rated E

House is stuck living the same Friday over and over and over and over again. A Groundhog Day AU with a medical mystery, the pursuit of true love, and egregious references to Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell.

Correlation Does Not Equal Causation - Rated E

“This… this hasn’t happened before.”

“Most people say that in the opposite situation.”

Alternatively titled: Wilson Doesn’t Actually Have Whiskey Dick

Don’t mind me just adding another fic here.

Grin and Bear It - Rated E

In a world where soulmates can feel each other’s pain, Wilson had always grown up wondering if he really had a soulmate. Sure, he could feel the occasional twinge like that of a bruise or cut without actually seeing one, but he had always chalked those up to random aches and pains that everybody got.

Wilson would keep this mindset until both he and House begin feeling agonizing leg pain, and a realization dawning from it causes Wilson’s entire life and well-being to change forever.

I’m always looking for new Fics so if there’s a fic you think is missing from this list, let me know and I’ll check it out!

#house md #hilson #james wilson #malpractice md #medical malpractice #greg house #gregory house #hate crimes md #house #fanfic #masterlist

[adventuringblind]

If you’re still taking requests, can you please write a wolff!reader x charles leclerc fic? And they’re secretly engaged and in love and toto finds out and he doesn’t want them together and tries to break them up. Maybe they break up for toto and then he sees how sad they are w/o each other and how happy they were together? Angst to fluff and happy ending please 😭💕💕 Tysmmm i love your work sm

Romeo and Juliet

Charles Leclerc X Wolff!Reader

Genre: ANGST lots of it but a happy fluffy ending

Request: yes, and forbidden love? Yes please! Sorry if this is darker then you were thinking… I got a little carried away 😅. I am open for requests! Mainly for Max, Charles, Oscar, Lando, Daniel, and George.

Summary: Reader and Charles are in love. Unfortunately for them, Toto is determined to keep them apart.

Warnings: Angry Toto, sad reader, Charles trying to problem solve. MENTIONS OF SH but not description of it, MENTIONS OF SUICIDAL IDEATION but again nothing descriptive, bullying and toxic media.

Notes: written in third person. Please like, comment, and reblog. I like to hear from y'all. It makes me feel like a celebrity 🥹.

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feelings hurt if you ignor this, but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

She’d never been quite sure how it happened. How she managed to find her soulmate. The two are meant for each other. The only downside is that she is living a Romeo and Juliet parody.

Being a Wolff meant spending majority of her time around the race track or at the factory. From the time she was little, she was following her dad around.

Toto never had any hard and fast rules regarding being friends with people from other teams. He couldn’t stop her from being friends with those she spent majority of her time around. He did, however, have rules about dating. Mainly not to date a driver and if she was then he would allow a Mercedes driver.

So her options were Lewis and George. She liked both, but not in any romantic way. They are her brothers. She annoys them and them tease her and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Her and Charles had been friends since he first started with AlfaRomeo. The two clicked instantly and talked constantly. She was the first person he looked for after a good race or a bad one. He was her everything and she was his.

Four years later they started dating. Secretly, of course, because she didn’t want her dad smashing anymore headphones. They made it work and were willing to do what it took.

It helped that she already lived in Monaco since that’s where majority of her friends lived. It made sense why they would ‘run into each other’ so often since they live in a small place.

George found out by accident right before a race. He’d found her phone in the ground. It had fallen out of her pocket and she’d not noticed. When she had noted it’s disappearance, she tried to locate it by calling it with Charles phone.

George took one look at the caller ID and knew. The less then friendly contact name, mix of heart emoji’s, and Charles contact photo gave it away. He answered anyways. If Charles knew where she was then at least he could give her phone back.

“Hello, this is George.” He only got silence in return. “Hello…?”

“Please tell me you didn’t see the called name.” Came her voice from the other end. The desperation in your voice making him chuckle. He was never going to let her live this down.

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. Now can you please come get your phone.”

The two lovebirds were able to make more things work after. Being able to have George cover form them helped immensely. Dates became more frequent. Places they wouldn’t normally go were suddenly a possibility.

Lewis caught on eventually. He saw right past the sheepish smiles of George and Y/N. While she was sneaking back in the garage through George’s driver room.

Between George and Lewis the teasing only escalated, but the two of them were the best possible wingmen she could have asked for. They managed to distract her father away when she was cutting things close.

It didn’t last forever though. The ending of Romeo and Juliet isn’t a happy one.

Someone had managed to take a picture of them kissing. It was a cute picture. Charles kissing her on what was supposed to be a private beach during the sunset. A picture that she woke up to circling the medial faster that the cars on race day.

Charles woke up to her rapid breathing. Her phone lighting up the dark room with constant notifications. Charles wrapped his arms around her. “It’s alright amour. We’ll figure this out on day at a time.

Things were weird after that. She clung to Charles as she was ripped to shred by the media, the fans, and her father.

She was being called a traitor to her fathers team. Her father had labeled her disrespectful. It was an utter nightmare.

The two Mercedes boys stood protectively behind her. Toto’s voice getting louder by the second. She was still sitting in the chair opposite his. Her eyes downcast to the lightly colored desk.

“I don’t understand why you chose him. A rival team! How do I know your not telling him everything about our operations?” Toto’s voice was laced with venom. This arms waving around to exaggerate his point.

“Because I love him. And I would never do that to you.” She wanted to stay strong, but the tears were threatening to spill over.

“I don’t want to see you back here until you two are broken up.” He turned his back to her.

She quickly exited, George following close behind her. Lewis remained in the office.

“I think you’re being too hard on her.” Lewis pointed out. Still leaning in the wall close to the door. His arms crossed over his chest, staring at the team principal he holds immense respect for.

“Aren’t you concerned at all?”

“No, she loves her family to much to do anything like that.” Then he left. Finding the girl he considered his sister clinging to George’s shirt.

Both of them had seen the comments. Both had been asked about it during interviews. Both had told their fans to leave her alone. It hurt both of them to see how people were treating her. The names they felt no remorse for spewing. It made them sick.

Charles’ fans were not any better. He hated seeing them tell her nasty things. Spreading rumors they knew nothing about.

He’d tried reassuring her constantly that she is his everything, but he knew she was losing her family. The last thing he wanted to happen. He wanted to protect her from this. Guilt wracking his body because he felt powerless to do anything.

When he found her that day, sobs wracking her body as she went to find him, he knew how he could help her. The last option either of them wanted.

“I love you so much.” He said, cupping her cheek gently, letting the tears roll down his cheeks and attempting to wipe away hers. “But I don’t want you to lose your family because of me.”

Charles called George that day to tell him want he was going to do. George having understood his actions and promised to be there for her. So when the broken girl showed up at his house that night, eyes red and puffy, he’d already been ready for her. Carmen making sure that she had extra clothes for her in case she ended up staying awhile.

Charles’ next stop was to see Toto. The older man hardly sparing him a glance as he walked into the office. “I’m sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused you.” He started. Toto still faced the wall, refusing to look at him. Something Charles was grateful for. “Me and your daughter have parted ways. So, I’ll hope you’ll allow her to stay with her family. Neither of us wanted things to happen this way. But I’d rather lose her then watch her lose everything she’s grown up with and worked for.”

Charles waited a moment to see if he’d get a response before turning around and ducking out of the office.

He stayed with Pierre that night. Broken and defeated. His heart heavy with the sadness and longing to be with the woman he loved so dearly.

The media didn’t stop though. The news around them still trending. People still feeling the need to voice their disgusting comments.

Toto had tried to connect with his daughter, but received no response. In fact, nobody had. She hadn’t been to a race in months. Both George and Lewis had tried calling and texting her only to receive nothing in return. She hadn’t even read their messages.

Charles was hurting as well. He didn’t want to cause her anymore pain. So he distanced himself from everything that related to her. Carlos and Pierre had been watching his behavior. His head clearly not in a good place mentally. They were running out of ideas in how to help him.

Lewis was the one who caved first. He’d given her enough space, now it was time to invade it. He dragged George with him to her apartment in Monaco one morning. Determined to see proof that she was at least breathing.

When they got no answer, they searched for the spare key. The one she hid in the light above her front door. Relief flooding them both as George managed to locate it.

When they finally got the door open, they were greeted with the dark apartment. It looked like no one lived there. The fridge was empty and the cupboards almost mirrored it, aside from the open box of your favorite cereal.

There was broken glass along the counters and floor. Pictures had been taken off the walls. A few empty bottles of alcohol lay strewn along flat surfaces.

The woman they’d been looking for was wrapped in a blanket on the couch. Her chest slowly rising and falling.

George went to gently try and pull her from her sleep without scaring her.

Lewis on the other hand, went to investigate the rest of the rooms. Terrified at what he’d discovered.

He lightly jogged back to George, who didn’t want to pull her from her peaceful slumber, and tapped his shoulder. Motioning for the younger Brit to follow him.

Their first stop was the bedroom. Everything that reminded her of Charles had been stripped away. leaving only the mattress in the center of the room. The long mirror hanging next to the closet had been shattered. The glass that had fallen out of it scattered around the base word they’d seen people calling her written in thick black marker now divided by cracks.

Next, Lewis led them to the bathroom. The sight of it making George want to vomit. The bathroom mirror had also been cracked. Towels stained red line the countertop. Pills litter the bathroom floor. And the knife she’d been gifted by her father for her 18th birthday lay on the edge of the sink. 

Who is obviously what had happened here recently.

George who was struggling to look at the scene went back to trying to coax the woman, his sister, out of her slumber. Lewis making an attempt to at lease get the area safe. Their hearts hurt for her. They knew she was hurting but neither knew it had gotten so bad.

Charles was her soulmate. Both her and Charles knew it. They had envisioned their life together. A life that she saw every time she closed her eyes.

She tried to separate herself from his memory. Tried to distract herself. But she couldn’t get her mind away from him. How he made her smile. How he listened even to the pettiest things she complained about. She wanted that back.

If her family didn’t want her for it and Charles couldn’t stand to see her hurting, then she would get back there on her own.

If their story was like Romeo and Juliet’s, why shouldn’t it end in tragedy as well?

But their story keeps going. Because they are meant for each other. So they will find away even if they don’t know it yet.

The gentle touches of Charles ghosted over her bare arms. Her mind trying to hold into the feeling even if he wasn’t here.

She cracked her eyes open to the dark room. Her body revolting as she tries to sit up. Her dehydration finally getting to her. Her head pounding from last night events.

She’s had a few episodes like this and knows she needs to get help. She doesn’t know where to start though.

She hadn’t really eaten much the last sixth months. Even food reminded her of him. How was she ever going to move in at this rate?

Then she noticed the sounds of breathing beside her. The familiar face of George greeting her, though his eyes are sad.

She immediately sits up. The horrible scene that is her apartment now clearly seen by one of the last people she wanted to know she’d sunk this far.

“George?” Her voice merely a quiet rasp.

“It’s okay now, we’re gonna help you. Okay?” His voice cracked. The male is clear distress.

Lewis came around the corner upon hearing voices. Relieved that she’d woken up. “I think we need to talk.”

~

Charles hadn’t been staying at his apartment. He knew he wasn’t in a good place mentally, so he went back home. His mother welcomed him with open arms, sad to hear the news of the two splitting.

He’d talked to Lewis and George about her during race weekends. Their lack of knowledge causing his concern to grow more with each passing week.

He’d tried for sixth months to force himself to move on but he knew it was in vain. She was made for him and he belonged to her. How was he supposed to move on from that?

Pascale had struggled watching her middle child. He struggled to eat, struggled to sleep, to the point it was affecting his performance.

“You should talk to her.” She suggested.

“I’ll only hurt her more.”

“I’ve been looking in social media for her. The things people are saying is terrible.” She sighs, the situation itself only getting worse. “She needs you.”

~

Toto knew he messed up. As soon as he’d made her choose, he knew. Only to have it confirmed when he heard the waver in Charles voice. When he didn’t see his daughter for moths. As he watched Charles performance fall.

He’d tried to contact her. Susie had encouraged him to call her the night everything happened. He’d received no response for sixth months. He’d asked Lewis about her only to be met with his sigh and sad eyes.

It’s like she disappeared from the planet. Everyone worried about her. But they collectively decided that maybe she needed space.

He knew she and Charles were happy together. He’d seen how big her smile was when she was with him. Even when he thought they were just friends. The two of them had been contagiously happy.

~

The next race came around quickly. At least for Charles that’s how it felt as he strode to the Mercedes paddock.

He spotted Lewis and George and weaved his way towards them. Everyone trying to get one roared for the weekend. Exactly what he should be doing.

“Charles! Listen mate-“ George had started. But Charles cut him off with the urgent need to speak with Toto before he could get in his head. “I need Toto. I need to see her again.” He was ready to break.

“He’s in his office.”

Charles didn’t waist any time making his way there. The older man a bit startled at the sudden appearance. “I love your daughter. I am begging you to not make her choose.” He was pleading but he didn’t care.

“I’m sorry.” Toto looked pained. Charles is taken off guard by it. His reaction the last thing the monegasque was expecting. “I should have never made her choose. She was happy with you. So when you go get her back, tell her I’m sorry and that I want her to come home.”

Charles fumbled around with his words. Gesturing wildly with his hands but for some reason his voice was stuck in his throat. Eventually he just nodded his head, attempting to get across his thanks.

Lewis and George were still talking. So he did the only logical thing and tackled then both in a hug. “I need to know where she is. He’s not going to make her choose.” The smile on his face so big it might fall off. “Please tell me where she’s been staying.”

Lewis and George shared a look. One that didn’t go unnoticed. “We need to talk.”

~

They’d told him about her state. About what she’d been going through. How they found her that morning, alone and so far into her head they didn’t know if she was going to come out.

His heart shattered listening to them. The two were connected deeper then anything he could’ve imagined. He’s upset that he didn’t get the courage to fight for her sooner.

She’d been spending her time since they found her with either if the boys. Neither wanted to leave her alone after that. So they made sure she wasn’t alone after that.

Her apartment was still mildly wrecked but they weren’t worried about it. They just wanted to get her out of her head.

Now he had a chance. They had brought her with them. She didn’t want to come to the track so she was back at the hotel. Tucked away from the world.

Now Charles was speeding to her location. Lewis’ key card in hand. Determination filling his veins. He needed to see her, desperately. His heart ached the last six months. He didn’t want to never see her again. Charles loved her with his entire being.

The trip was a blur for him. Not even realizing he was at the door until he had no more steps left to take.

He decided to knock first. He wanted to be respectful. He’d use the key as his last resort.

He got nervous when the handle turned. What was he going to say? He didn’t have time to think about it as the door swung open. Revealing the love of his life. Still as beautiful as when he last saw her. Though his heart dropped at the sight.

Bags under eyes, her body smaller then he remembered. Then there was the white bandages running up her arms. She was wearing a tank top and sweats, obviously not expecting him to show up.

They stared at each other for a moment. Then the tears started. She was in his arms in a second. Clutching him like he would disappear if she let go.

He breathed her in. “I’m here, I got you, and I’m never letting you go again.”

#x reader #fanficion #f1 fic #formula one #angst #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles lechair #charles leclerc #formula 1 #racing #cl16 #george russel x reader #george russell #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #toto wolff #Wolff!reader #ferrari formula one #scuderia ferrari #ferrari #mercedes #mercedes amg petronas #formula racing #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #f1 x reader #f1 #lh44

[hsllfirescoopsreblogs]

╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all matt murdock stories i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3

MASTERLIST • MARVEL MASTERLIST • 04/16/24

♦︎ i don’t want to lose you by @sergeantbuckybarnes

•You’re in a wonderful relationship with Matt, but when the Avengers defeat Thanos and everyone who got blipped is back, Bucky Barnes walks into your life again, and Matt is afraid he might lose you.

♦︎ without you pt2 by @foli-vora

•You return after the ‘blip’. Five years is a long time, and a lot of things can happen in that time. Where does that leave you now?

♦︎ neighbor!reader pt2 by @chvoswxtch

♦︎ @bellaxgiornata

• seeking forgiveness

* Matt always made protecting Hell's Kitchen his priority, you knew that when you'd begun dating him. What you hadn't expected was just how much he'd eventually make it a priority over you, breaking promise after promise to spend his time with you. But when you unexpectedly discover that you're pregnant and Matt yet again breaks a promise to you, the pair of you end up in a fight that ends the relationship before you can even break the news. Though when he later learns the truth, Matt becomes hell bent on seeking your forgiveness

• underneath the mistletoe

* Tired of enduring the obvious pining between you and Matt, Foggy and Karen plan a way to get you and Matt to admit your feelings - or at least to kiss.

• if we’re being honest pt2

* Already having an awful week, you're a bit out of it while at Josie's with your friends, too busy sulking and drinking down your feelings to keep up with conversation. The sight of Matt wandering off with a beautiful woman yet again certainly doesn't help. But when you stay behind by yourself to finish your drink and wallow a bit more, you're surprised when Matt reappears and offers to let you stay the night at his place. Eventually, the night takes a turn you weren't anticipating.

♦︎ happy little accident by @shiorimakibawrites

•You are a klutz. You are pretty used to tripping over nothing and embarrassing yourself. But this time has to be the worse. Because this time, you have gotten paint splattered all over Matt Murdock. Your handsome neighbor that you’ve has an enormous crush on.

♦︎ my tears ricochet by @peterman-spideyparker

• You and Matt Murdock come from different worlds: Matt, the son of a prize boxer from Hell’s Kitchen, you the daughter of a clothing designer and doctor on Park Ave. Meeting in law school was just chance, just was much as you falling for your friend. But fate had different paths for the two of you that pulled you apart, and you felt pain with each tear. Now, just over ten years later, you two meet again by chance, and everything and nothing has changed.

♦︎ close by @lindisworld

•Soulmate Au! In which [Name] has Daredevil as a soulmate and Matt unwillingly wants [Name] in his life. However Fate does its job and always brings them together.

♦︎ call me by @notquitecanon

•You're the Devil of Hell's Kitchen's favorite late night nurse, but he's been avoiding your fire escape since an unfortunate accident. You both miss each other just enough for some emotions to slip through the cracks. You don't even know his name, but you'll settle just to know he's alright.

♦︎ @dameronology

•moments passed

*based on say don't go by t.swift

• the defense rests

* aka romeo & juliet, except you're a hot young d.a intern & matt is a hot lawyer

♦︎ pretty boy by @saberlight1

♦︎ neighbor pt2 pt3 pt4 pt5 pt6 by @amberlynnmurdock

♦︎ deja vu by @dollwritesarchive

•you visit your boyfriend in his new dorm room

♦︎ better alone pt2 by @strangerquinns

•“it’s better if I’m alone.  I can’t hurt anyone if there’s no one close enough to get hit by the debris of my fuck up.”

♦︎ baby said by @petertingle-yipyip

•(request): Hey, may I make a Matt x Reader request. Foggy wants to meet Matt's new girlfriend. Foggy and Karen are supposed to meet you at Josie's. (You and Matt have a little plan to annoy Foggy.) You arrive later than the others and walk past the trio, foggy notices you and flirts with you. The idea came to me with the quote // Matt Murdock : How would I even know she's a beautiful woman? Foggy Nelson : I don't know. It's kinda spooky, actually. But if there's a stunning woman with questionable character in the room, Matt Murdock's gonna find her, and Foggy Nelson is gonna suffer.

hopefully all links work, let me know if not <3

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil #daredevil x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #matt murdock series #matt murdock angst #matt murdock smut #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock oneshot #matt murdock imagine #daredevil imagine

[sparkling-ariaria]

BTS fics I read and want to keep...no°1

*Only fics that aren't already on one of my other lists*Complete fem or non-specific reader* Upd: 20.06.2023

Non-Idol AU

Only yesterday by borathae - Yoongi x Reader Your life in a small countryside village was nothing of the extraordinary, you owned a quaint little teashop, enjoyed warm evenings in your garden and liked taking walks by the river. One day a handsome stranger moves in the abandoned cottage opposite side of the river and it is not long that he becomes a source of comfort in your life.

Purr-haps I like you by taleasnewastime - Yoongi x Reader You have a no pets policy where you live, but when you find a tiny kitten in a box on the side of the road, what can you do but bring it home with you? The only problem? The landlord who made the no pets rule, also happens to be your flatmate.

A soft touch by madbutgloriouspond - Yoongi x Reader [fluff] Yoongi always knows exactly what you need.

The sweet shop by - Yoongi x Baker!Reader Yoongi gets extra clingy and too handsy while you’re whippin’ in the kitchen. And to Jungkook and Jimin’s dismay.

“You’re no longer alone” - Namjoon x Reader [hurt/comfort] God hears you when you ask him to make you feel less lonely.

Crazy, stupid love by koostarcandy - Bad boy!Jungkook x Good girl!Reader [short and adorable] Jungkook doesn't think of himself as man who would do reckless things for love, no. But he'd go to any heights, even if it drives him insane just for his love. Alternative? His drug is his baby.

Mr. Right (Swipe) family-free-side-blog - Fratboy!Jungkook x Reader Jeon Jungkook is well aware that he’s the bane of your existence. He just loves to push your buttons and lives to see you all riled up. So, what happens then when he catches you swiping left on his Tinder profile during class?

Fall back in love by bukguhope - Jungkook x Reader Jungkook somehow grew a reputation of sleeping around on campus, leaving him lonely and inexperienced with relationships. so when you, his old childhood best friend moves onto campus, he discovers what a relationship can feel like as he finds himself falling in love with you.

When I'm with you by koostarcandy - Jungkook x Reader

Heaven by daydreamindollie - Hoseok x Reader “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”, “Can I do your hair?”, “Stop it, it tickles”

Alone again by archivedkookie - Hoseok x Reader Hoseok always ends up alone when the moon shines bright and the clock strikes midnight. Everyone eventually leaves him. And he isn’t surprised when you do, too.

A piece of your sun by holdinbacksecrets - Hoseok x Reader [talk about sickness of a relative, comfort] "You don’t have to ignore your doubts, love. It’s ok to say it hurts.”

Love Language by rmnamjoons - Namjoon x Reader Exactly one year before one meets their soulmate, their love’s first words spoken to them appear as a tattoo on their wrist. When Namjoon’s tattoo appears, however, it’s not of words, but of the most beautiful set of eyes he’s ever seen.

All to myself by madbutgloriouspond - Seokjin x Reader It's easy to come home and let yourself be wrapped up by your boyfriend.

A part of your home by jinkookspencil - Seokjin x Reader In which seokjin creates space for you in his apartment.

Bookstores and safe havens by jinkookspencil - Jungkook x Reader "Just one book", you promise Jungkook as you step into the bookstore.

Heart of the storm by ladyartemisia - Jungkook x Reader Jungkook was the handsome RA that you could never quite bring yourself to talk to, and you were the ice princess whose status kept you far out of his reach. But a selfless act of kindness in the midst of a terrible storm forges an unexpected bond between you - one that could break your guarded heart…or finally set it free. 

fxck a fxckboy by yoongifis - Yoongi x Reader Where you sort of hooked up with one of the school’s biggest fuckboys but end up leaving him hanging and never contacting him because…well…why not? Somehow the universe brought you two together and now you’re left dealing with him because he apparently caught feelings for you.

Protective by justcallmenikki7 - Platonic!BTS x Reader You’re new, and one day you get hit by a basketball and somehow, in some way, you got the Bangtan boys wrapped around your finger. 

Idolverse

Angel by joonberriess - Yoongi x Reader [nsfw but fluffy] He’s yours and you are his. You didn’t need a magazine to tell you that, because the media knew nothing about what went on behind the scenes.

Gold by beahae - Yoongi x Reader One thing your boyfriend isn’t shy about is his musical talent. You know he enjoys getting to show off a little. Which only makes it especially intriguing when he gets suddenly bashful about his most recent songwriting development.

Your Yoongi by yoongiphoria - Yoongi x Reader Yoongi’s a little tipsy, lots of lovey-dovey fluff and smut

One morning by aamalaaa - Yoongi x Reader What soft mornings with Yoongi would be like.

Studio Dates by mirahuyooo - Yoongi x Reader Nothing beats spending the late hours in your boyfriend's studio. 

Paws & Claws by amethystwritesbts - Taehyung x Dog groomer!Reader You get a bit exasperated when you have to stay late just to groom the dog of a high profile client, less exasperated when he ends up being a total sweetheart - his owner isn’t so bad either, turns out.

Intertwined by beenbaanbuun - Namjoon x Reader Namjoon brings home a new artpiece and you try to figure out what it symbolises.

Sunshine boy by magicchai - Hoseok x Baker!Reader Hoseok visits the bakery y/n works at regularly, enjoying the peaceful moments and the opportunity to flirt with a pretty girl.

Party on you by here2bbtstrash - Hoseok x Reader The only thing stronger than your social anxiety is your big dumb crush on Hoseok - and you're certainly not expecting it when he tells you the real reason he threw this album release party.

JK drabble by eoieopda - Jungkook x Reader Jungkook gets home from tour and is just the clingiest, cutest, softest bf.

Safety Net by orithyia-eriphyle - Platonic!BTS x member!Reader Compilation of the moments where the members of BTS are protective over the only female member, you.

Hybrid

Hierarchy by persphonesorchid - Panther Hybrid!Yoongi x Bunny Hybrid!Reader You go to an uni where most of the students are predators and get paired up with Yoongi for an assignment.

Out of the woods by angelicyoongie - Wolf Hybrid!Namjoon x Human!Reader Promising Jihyo that you were going to stay away from your writing for one weekend had been easy in theory, but much harder to actually do once you reached the little cabin the woods. To make matters worse, the only thing that rivals your inability to keep promises is your terrible luck – and after a particularly bad choice leads you to get lost in the mountains, you suppose that it’s only karma that you end up face to face with a wolf that looks ready to rip your throat out.

Fantasy/Supernatural/Space

Soulmate Drabble - OT7 x Reader

The Choice by ladyartemisa - Bastard Prince!Yoongi x Reader In which y/n virginity plays an important role in fulfilling a prophecy. Who will she decide to give it to?

The Mark of Yun-Ki by ladyartemisia - Tiger hybrid!Yoongi x Human!Reader For a thousand years the tiger god Yun-Ki has marked the heirs of the Min Empire and thus only a marked heir can inherit the throne. When the beautiful daughter of the Min Emperor’s loyal warlord rescues a mysterious tiger hybrid from the imperial prison, she unleashes a secret that the throne would kill to protect. The young emperor claims to be the chosen heir... but who really bears the Mark of Yun-Ki?

My Home by purpleyoon - Dragon!Yoongi x Human Healer!Reader It was close to winter, and your medicine was nearly complete for you to use. But when it came to, you helped another whose wounds were life threatening. Now, random items kept showing up on your porch, with each item bringing you closer to the creature you healed. And when he returned, he saved you. Now, with him, you felt like you were home.

Sehebon by httpjeon - Alien!Taehyung x Human!Reader You find yourself on Izo Huen, home to the Sehebon. Luckily for you, you've arrived at an interesting time.

#fic rec #bts fic #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #rm x reader #rm x you #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #jhope x reader #jhope x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #suga x reader #suga x you #seokjin x reader #seokjin x y/n

[inklessletter]

No, but stay with me for four minutes, yeah? Indulge me, please. Good. Thanks.

Steve is lost. He is so lost after the whole Vecna creep thing, because everything is falling apart. Hawkins is torn into pieces, people are leaving town, and his friends? Max is in a comma, the kids are barely holding up, keeping themselves busy, Nancy doesn't speak to him, Robin is forced by her parents to leave town for college, Jonathan is back in town with his weirdo friend, and so is Hopper, coming back from the fucking dead. Eddie didn't come back from the dead, though. That might have helped with the fact that Dustin is unreachable, he's miles away. Steve knows his heart is in that other fucked up dimension and he can't reach it, he can't fix this problem with his bat, and he can do little more than just to show up, though he's not sure it's doing any good, because the kid ends up crying every time.

Steve doesn't know what his role is anymore. He goes here and there, helping with what he can, but he's fucking lost. He doesn't know how to help. He found his platonic soulmate and she's not there anymore, she left in June. He is not the babysitter because the kids don't need him. He is not the king, hasn't been for a while. He's not a serial dater. He's not a business man like his father.

He is no one, and if he's someone he doesn't know who he is.

In a desperate attempt to make Dustin smile, he takes him to Salt Lake City to see Suzie, to spend a few days with her. He pays for gas, and food and the few nights they stay there, at a nearby hotel. He refuses to take a penny from Claudia.

The worst part is that Dustin is trying to smile, forcing himself to show happy and glad, Steve can see. But those big dorky smiles that always made his eyes shrink? Those smiles don't go anywhere, and it breaks Steve's heart, because the kid is trying, for him.

He sees Suzie for the first time and she's quick, and bright, and funny and pretty much how Dustin described her. Steve likes her immediately, so he chaperones them, and takes them out so they can have a proper date. Suzie's sister is also chaperoning. Eden. He trusts her right away, for some reason. She's nice. She is snarky, witty, always with that vague cloud of annoyance around her. She's pretty, and the whole witch schtick really suits her.

She's not as mysterious or mean as she think she is, though, because he sees how Eden looks at Suzie and there is fondness there. Steve's thinking that he relates to her and that's why he can see the love behind her foul mouthed comments.

They let the kids wander around the mall, they let them being kids, and meanwhile Steve and Eden talk about nothing, and a bit of everything. It is when she mentions how much she wants to get the hell out of Salt Lake City when Steve suddenly realizes that Eden reminds him of Eddie. They look so alike, and Steve's heart skips a beat because the resemblance is uncanny, in every aspect.

God even the name is similar.

Something has switched and Eden has noticed it, and asks Steve what's wrong. And Steve tells her.

Steve tells Eden about Eddie, minus the Upside Down shit, he tells her everything.

What was Eddie like, what he meant to the kids, to Dustin specifically, he talks about his anarchy inclinations, that he was a guitarist and was part of a metal band. He tells her about how he was unfairly treated by his hometown, how he was accused of things he didn't do, and he's both sad and surprised to learn that Eden has heard about him in the news.

When Eden asks how he died, he only tells her that Eddie was protecting Dustin.

Dustin and Suzie are in a tech store comparing and about weird discussing items, Steve and Eden are outside the store, when she comments that it is a very metal way to go. He agrees with a wet whisper, because he's doing everything in his hand to not cry.

Steve is so concentrated that he feels that Eden is putting something in his hand a bit too late. It's a stone. It's pretty, warm. He doesn't know what it means when she says that it'll help him. He doesn't ask, just smiles at her.

And Eden switches the topic and they end up talking about worst times babysitting these fucking kids because they love to get in trouble. They bond. Steve and Eden, he is comfortable with her, and she seems to be, too.

Steve can't take Eddie of his thoughts now, and wonders if their could have had this kind of thing, too, where they bitch about the kids being kids and they cleaning up their messes and swearing not to do it again, but they do it again, and again, and again. He wonders if he's finding Eden pretty just because she somehow feels like Eddie, and that is so unfair to her, but he can't help it.

By the last date they chaperone before Steve and Dustin have to go back to Hawkins, Steve already knows about Eden being a wicca. She practices rituals, and can make tarot readings, and all. Steve always thought that it was nonsense that he couldn't fully understand, he was never into it. But then Eden offers to make a tarot reading for him, and Steve sees Dustin and Suzie cuddling in their picnic blanket, stargazing, and he thinks why not.

He doesn't know anything anymore. He feels open to new things, and he trusts Eden. It's a fact that he doesn't need to understand shit for it to happen, anyways.

Steve fidgets with the stone in his pocket when he agrees, and Eden asks Steve to ask the deck for an answer, and he wonders about himself, about who he is, and then Eden puts some cards in front of him and talks about his past, his present and his future, according to the cards. And the thing is, that it is pretty accurate when it talks about the past, he relates to what she says. He can see it, know what she's talking about. Things she couldn't possibly know, they are not that close.

He is intrigued, and invested, and asks her more things about the deck, how it works, how she knows what they say. She tells her what she knows, which is not really enough, but he's happy to hear her talk, so convinced. Talks about a manual she learnt everything from and she can't possibly place where it is now. She's in her element and then Steve realizes he's going to miss her, and thinks that next time he's bringing Robin because they might get along well.

They part ways that night, and they hug tight, and he hugs Suzie, too. She has the audacity to apologize for having to spend so much time with his meanest sister. Eden calls her little shit, and he sees Eddie in her again, and he laughs.

Yeah, he's definitely going to miss her.

Dustin is in a very much better mood now. He even smiles that way it reaches to his eyes.

They go back home, and they take a break in a service area. There are books and toys and souvenirs there.

He buys a tarot deck and brings it home. He sets it in his night stand, and over it, it rests Eden's stone.

#inklessletter #inky writes #headcanon #steve harrington #eddie munson #eden bingham #stranger things #fic #fanfic #st fanfic #ficlet #prompt #st headcanon

[wonwoonlight]

there’s not a single star in the sky | xu minghao & kim mingyu

➝ Minghao x Reader / Mingyu x Reader // not a love triangle

➝ soulmate!au // angst // somewhat slowburn // fluff in between? // a journey of acceptance and moving on

➝ total word count: 12k

➝ notes, warnings: my sorry attempt of an angst <//3, it doesn't end badly i promise, curses, food, mentions of death, OC is trying to hold back her tears for like.. 80% of the fic, probably some grammatical errors and typos, not beta-ed D: i purposefully write some stuff vaguely. that's it, tell me if there's more!

➝ summary: he’s your soulmate. so why did the universe also decide he’s not the one you’re going to spend your forever with?

or, alternatively:

Minghao was there to fill the space Mingyu left behind; but you'd never expected to what extent he was meant to do it for.

➝ A/N: it's late and i didn't mean this to be your bday fic but.. happy bday hao!! i'll shut up and say more at the end. pls enjoy and tell me what you thought!!

여기 이 세상이 아름다운 건 the reason why this word is beautiful

그대가 머문 흔적들 때문에 아마 is probably because it has traces of you [Jo Sungmo - Do You Know]

When you first met Minghao, he was there to be your roommate.

It's been months since Mingyu left, almost a year, really, and as much as it still hurts and the thought wells up tears in your eyes, Jeonghan is right when he said it's time you need to pick up the pieces broken by the love of your life.

–the first step being moving out of the place you had bought together with him. Saying it hurts is starting to get repetitive at this point, but it really does and you have no idea how many times you’ve broken down crying the more you pack, your eyes red beyond measure and your chest physically aches that it’s hard to breathe. 

The apartment is practically empty except for the furniture, nothing inside screams you or Mingyu anymore except for one single photograph and it sends you into a spiral of sadness that you can’t comprehend how to handle. Your eyes wander to the empty wall on top of the TV, already rid of photographs Mingyu had taken and decided to frame because “angel, this is a masterpiece!” like he didn’t say it everytime he decided to frame more pictures and hang them on the walls (mostly of you both together).

You close your eyes and exhale a deep breath at the memories, hating the way your lips still tremble at the thought of him, then gently wipe the tears lining up your eyes before they turn into yet another waterfall.

There’s only one big picture left on the wall, a photograph of a daffodil field you both had gone to two years ago and is easily the most beautiful place you’ve ever stepped your feet on. You insisted that the picture stays though Jeonghan said it’d be better to take everything down. But as much as you know his memories hurt you, you don’t want to erase him just because you’re struggling; that picture is the one Mingyu loved the most and you think it’s only right to let it be.

So it can guard your home once you’re no longer there.

Kim Mingyu is still the most wonderful thing that has ever happened in your life and you want to keep his memories with you no matter what.

“When is your cousin moving in?” Jeonghan asks as you put the last of your belongings. Most of your stuff is already in your new place, and while you couldn’t bear to sell the apartment, you heard from your mom that your cousin is looking for a place in your area because she’s starting university soon; so she’s going to move in and rent your place at least until she finishes her study. 

You’re not that close with her, but know her well enough to know that she’s nice and isn’t the type to mess around. Which is good, because if you’re close with her then you’d be finding reasons to visit just to be in the apartment. This way, you know your place will be in good hands and, for now, that’s the only thing you can ask for.

“In two weeks. She’ll start moving her stuff next week though.” It’s weird to be talking about someone else living in a place where your love bloomed, but it’s really for the best and you understand that it’s getting more unhealthy for you if you continue your way of living the way you do. Even one year is already pushing it.

“You’re still moving tomorrow though, right?” your best friend nudges you, and you nod as you try to shrug the weight lingering on your chest. Your silence concerns him despite your nod, so Jeonghan takes your hand and squeezes it lightly. “Do you want me to stay the night?”

“It’s okay, Han.” You smile weakly. As much as you want Jeonghan to hold you through the night because you know you’ll be crying, you want to spend your last night here by yourself. You want to cry one last time so you can let everything go. You want to bask in Mingyu’s memories, in his fading scent, and in the place where the love you shared with him grew the most.

And as you cry yourself to sleep that night in your empty bedroom, screaming for Mingyu’s name into your pillow again and again like it’d bring him back to you, you think you can feel his arms holding you once again the moment your consciousness gives up, almost like a dream you wish you never wake up from.

Your new roommate is perceptive and you’re not sure yet whether you like it or not.

“You look tired.” He smiles politely, though you can tell that the look in his eyes is closest to what you’d describe as pitiful.

Of course you look pitiful, you woke up with your head pounding due to your excessive crying the night before and you could barely open your eyes because of the very same reason.

“I was going to talk to you about rules and all that but I think that can wait.”

“Thank you,” you say without offering any reason, you don’t owe him any explanations anyway. “I just need some sleep though, can we talk about it later tonight?”

Minghao nods, the smile on his face so warm that your heart would probably skip a beat if not for your current predicament. You wince at the way your heart clenches, Mingyu’s name once again echoing in your head. Feeling heat creeping up against your neck, you reach up to touch the skin behind your ear, a habit you always do, something Mingyu teased you about since the time you went on your first date together.

Ah, fuck. You really should stop yourself from thinking about him too much.

“It must’ve been hard moving all that stuff. Have a good rest,” Minghao ushers you before you can say anything, which you thankfully nod at, and you immediately bolt to your new room before you embarrassingly cry in front of him out of nowhere. 

You don’t need to know Minghao hears your cry because you didn’t close the door properly, his concerned eyes rooted to the floor as he closes the door for you, the soft click barely even a noise upon your heart silenced sobs.

It’s later that night that he sees you again, already fresh in new clothes and looking comparably better than earlier though your puffy eyes are a dead giveawa. Minghao has never been one to pry, but his heart is made to care for others and he’s trying hard not to ask if you’re okay, to pretend like the sound of you crying didn’t tug something in his heart.

Xu Minghao is born to care for those around him but he’s not sure why you crying hurts him this much when you’re practically a stranger renting the available room in his house.

“Want to order something?” He forces himself to say, wondering if he’s crossing any line; do you even have any intention to befriend him? He’s still not sure why you’re moving into his place, the most he has heard from you was you’re simply looking for a new environment, and Junhui, a mutual friend of the both of you, has only told him that you’re going through a lot so he might want to be careful overall.

When Minghao asks if there’s anything he should know out of concern, the older guy has simply said it’s not his story to tell and reminds him to be mindful if you’re ever visibly struggling in front of him.

“I was wondering what to eat for dinner. You can join me if you want. It’s okay if you don’t, though.”

Unexpectedly, you send a soft smile his way with a nod, then make your way to sit on the single sofa next to him and hug the cushion on your lap. “Sure. What’s good around here?”

“Mmm. What do you feel like eating?” He turns to look at you, only to find your fingers playing with the skin near your ear as you purse your lips in thought. It’s the first time he has the chance to actually look at you, and he scolds himself for being a teenager when it pops into his mind how soft your skin looks followed by the question of how it’d feel under his touch.

“Anything’s fine except for pasta.” 

“You don’t like pasta?”

“I do. I think they’re too heavy if we eat them now though.”

Minghao hums in agreement, but you say he can order whatever he feels like eating because you can eat just about anything as long as it’s not too creamy at the moment. “Surprise me,” you tell him, your voice a little too cheerful for someone who was crying a few hours ago. He tries to get it off his mind though, because it’s none of his business and you’re not even friends yet at this point.

He doesn’t even know why it bothers him that much. Perhaps he’s been thinking about Junhui’s words too much, be careful and be mindful. As someone who’s used to catering to other’s feelings, Minghao finds it hard to stay still when he knows someone near him is struggling. It’s obvious from your body language though; the way you’re internally exhausted but are trying your best to look okay.

Maybe moving to his place is your first step to overcoming whatever you’re going through. Whatever it is, Minghao decides that’s where he should stop assuming and reminds himself once again that it’s none of his business.

“So,” he starts after ordering food. He figures he should at least talk about the house rules if there’s no other topic at hand. “I’m not very strict about rules, to be honest. Some of the rules I always tell people are just basic ones like: let me know if you’re going to have friends around, though I’m not too comfortable with anyone staying overnight, so just make sure to ask me first before you let anyone stay over; don’t be too loud; and let’s clean after ourselves? These apply to the both of us though, so I promise I’ll stand by them too.”

“Yeah, sure.” You nod in agreement. He’s right. Those are basic rules, he’s just asking you to have manners and be aware that you’re living with someone else. But you can tell from his first impression alone that Minghao is the kinda person that’s considerate and proper. He didn’t ask for anything too personal when he first met you to talk about your possible coliving situation, and it was easy to tell that Minghao was just looking for someone that’s…, well, also proper.

He was just the right amount of friendly. You didn’t talk with him for that long that day, but you could tell that you both passed each other’s vibe check and you were glad when Minghao called a week later to say you’re welcome to move in anytime the month after if you’re still looking for a place to stay.

“I don’t have that many friends so you don’t have to worry.”

He chuckles at that, glad that you’re comfortable enough to make a joke. "We'll get along just fine then."

The silence after that is a bit awkward, though it's not enough to make anyone uncomfortable. You wonder if you're simply imagining Minghao's extra careful words and gestures or if he’s simply that type of person to begin with. 

He does seem the type to be certain with his lines.

"You're home a lot, then?" He tries to stay on the housing topic, a very safe topic that hopefully wouldn't cross any line.

“Yeah. I really mostly go out when my friends invite me or if I want to take a walk, else I’m basically holed up in my room.” You shrug then return the question, though from the few times you dropped by the house when you moved your things over you can already tell that Minghao is about the same.

“Mmm. I enjoy both my time inside and outside,” he purses his lips in thoughts, a tilt of his head accompanying his words. “Depends on the day, I think. Sometimes I actively try to find places to try out, sometimes I’m happy to be in my studio and paint for the whole day.”

“You paint?” Your tone is more excited than you intend it to be, though it really makes sense because you notice there are a lot of paintings throughout the living room. And now you wonder if those are his own paintings, which Minghao shyly nods to, the sheepish smile on his face growing the more you sing praises to his talent. “Wow. I’ve always wanted to paint, you know? But my hands are not made for art so…”

“That’s nonsense.” He frowns like your sentence personally offends him, his words bringing tears to your eyes before you even realize. “Art is for everyone. Have you actually tried painting?”

‘Angel, that is not a painting!’ Mingyu laughed with the entirety of his chest, not minding your pout even the tiniest bit. ‘That’s just doodles. Gosh, you’re so cute.’

‘I told you I didn’t want to do this!’ you whined as you tried to get away from his embrace. Seriously, this guy was a good 20cm taller than you and he liked to just bend down and bury his face onto your neck like it’s not physically uncomfortable for him to do so. ‘I’m not going to let you plan another date.’

Mingyu simply grinned and hugged you tighter at that, knowing full well that you didn’t mean any of it.

‘Art is for everyone though,’ he whispered with a laugh, his lips upon your cheek. ‘You did great. We should try watercoloring sometimes.’

“Did… I say something wrong?” Minghao’s worried voice brings you back to the present, and you blink back the tears before they actually fall down, your voice caught in your throat.

“No.” You clear your throat then excuse yourself to the bathroom in hope Minghao doesn’t notice anything. From the way he simply nods, you hope that’s the case, but the gentle eyes full of concern following you until the bathroom door closes certainly implies otherwise. 

Minghao brushes the mark near his collarbone, its jet black color reminding him of things he’d rather not remember anymore. It used to be so vibrant with color, then they bleed out at once one day, turning into such a dark black it contrasts against his skin.

There’s something else Junhui said that has been bothering him, something that he thinks is the main reason why he’s more attentive to you than anything.

‘I can’t say much. But if there’s anyone who understands her struggle, it might be you. Just… don’t push her, yeah?’

He’s not sure how close you are exactly with Junhui. But if the older guy is able to say that, he supposes you’re either closer than he’s assumed, or you’re related in more ways that he could imagine. You did find out he had an available room from Junhui.

It doesn’t feel right to go through yours or Junhui’s social media just for the sake of it. But, from what he remembers, you definitely don’t appear enough on Junhui’s account for you to be in his close circle. Plus, if you’re actually close, the older guy would’ve probably brought you to hang out with him a long time ago; Junhui likes to blend all of his friends, after all. So you’re probably a friend of a friend, or there’s a situation that Junhui happens to know.

Whatever it is, it bothers him. Are you struggling like he was?

Minghao bites his lip and grazes his soulmate mark again, why is he talking like he’s over it now? As much as he’s coping, said that he’s okay now because that's all he’s managed to be, he’s still far from acceptance. 

He’s still far from making peace with it.

His eyes flicker to you again as you return and sit back down on the sofa. You force a perfect smile, one that would fool anyone into thinking you’re actually fine. Not him though, because if there’s anything he recognizes, it’s the emptiness in your eyes despite the way they turn into crescents. He’s practiced the same exact smile way too many times not to recognize it on others.

If there’s anything Minghao knows, it’s the eyes of people who are hurting.

And if there’s anything else he understands, it’s that they don’t always want to talk about it. That everyone hangs on differently and he doesn’t know you well enough to know how you cope and how you hurt.

So he does what he usually do: offer comfort in the subtlest way possible by change the topic.

“But, then again, it’s not for everyone,” he shrugs almost nonchalantly. If anyone else is in the room, he’s sure they would notice the way he’s blatantly staring at you in worry. But, fortunately for Minghao, there’s no one and you’re too busy calming yourself down to notice. “What do you do in your spare time?”

“Actually,” you shake your head like you’ve made a resolve, like you didn’t even hear his question. Your voice falters a little as you say your next words, but Minghao listens attentively as he pretends not to notice the quiver in your gaze. “I would like to try painting. I did it a long time ago but… maybe it’s time to try doing it again.”

“You sure?” he questions, something weird stirring in his heart at how determined you look. It’s most likely the romantic side in him; he’s always liked seeing people doing their best. There’s just something so beautiful about people who try, and he supposes it’s the fact that he knows the look in your eyes, recognizes a similar kind of pain reflected in them, then knowing that you’re doing your best to be okay again.

It’s almost like he’s seeing himself a few months back (has it really not been a year since he’s started to learn how to accept?), and while his heart warms at the fact that you’re trying, it makes him wonder if this was how people felt when they saw him before.

“Yeah. I think it’d be fun,” you say vaguely, knowing that your tone itself sounds unsure. Still, you’re thankful that Minghao doesn’t say anything about it as he nods and says that he’d send you the address of a cafe that allows their customers to draw on a paper and turn the result into a keyring; that he thinks that would be casual enough for you to try and have fun because an actual painting studio might feel suffocating if you’re not into it 

You falter at the mention of the familiar cafe, one that you haven’t gone to but remember Mingyu had mentioned before. You can probably still find its name and address somewhere on your phone, because Mingyu had insisted you make a list of places you should go together to, though you gave up updating it along the way

“It’s the one with a sloth mascot, isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you been?” Minghao bites his lip at the slight tremble of your lip, did he say something wrong again?

“No, actually.” You force a small smile, one that looks sad, if anything, and Minghao’s heart is so close to breaking that it’s almost stupid. Why is he so emotional today? You’re just his new roommate, for God’s sake. “But I… I’ve heard of it, yeah.”

A heavy silence envelopes the room after that; you, deep in your mind, and Minghao, unsure what to say. Considering Junhui’s words and the way he sees himself in you, he dares to jump into conclusion and wonders what could possibly happen to your soulmate for you to be this way; to be constantly in and out of your memory in the span of thirty minutes he’s been talking with you.

Did they leave you like his soulmate did? He winces at the thought of her, the urge to reach for his mark makes his fingers ball into fists. But he waves it away and, thankfully, the bell rings indicating the arrival of your food.

Fortunately, the food is enough distraction for you two. You hum in delight once Minghao opens the packaging of the food, the smell filling the room immediately that your stomach growls a little. You’re both more hungry than you thought also, because the food is gone faster than the time it takes to arrive, and the both of you wish each other good night after cleaning up.

You’re not exactly sleepy, but you’re mentally drained and you’re afraid at how many times you almost poured your struggle to Minghao. You don’t like crying in front of anyone but Jeonghan, don’t like the feeling of anyone looking at you in pity or even concern. You really don’t.

But there’s something about Xu Minghao that makes you feel okay about being vulnerable; something about him that makes you want to open your heart and serve all its content on a platter for him to see. Or perhaps you’re just more emotional because you’ve officially moved out of your place and it’s your first day in your new home.

You hope that’s really the case.

Because the first scenario scares you a little too much.

You don’t want to feel that way.

So you spend your night talking with Jeonghan until you fall asleep, talking about nothing and everything so you wouldn’t think of Mingyu or how easy it is to be off guard in front of Minghao.

You tell Jeonghan you want to go to the sloth cafe and he offers to come with you, his voice wavering when you mention you want to try painting.

You dream of Mingyu in front of an easel that night, painting a field of yellow flowers with a smile on his face and the stars in his eyes.

“Oh, are you going somewhere?” Minghao asks when he sees you all dressed up on the sofa, though the way you’re slumped against it makes him doubt his question. “Or did you just come back?”

You scrunch your nose at the question, then sit up and hug the cushion against your chest. “I meant to go to the sloth cafe today. But Jeonghan is suddenly called for a work emergency, so…”

The words come out before he thinks it thoroughly, and Minghao almost hits himself in the head once they escape his lips. “I can go with you if you want?”

Unexpectedly, your face lights up as your eyes meet his, making him a little taken aback at the enthusiasm.

You really do want to go there, but the thought of going there by yourself scares you a little but you know that if you don’t go now when you’ve made up your mind, you’ll push it back over and over again until eventually you decide you’d just not go. 

“Will you, really?”

“Sure, if you don’t mind going with me.” Minghao shrugs. It’s too late to back out and he’s glad if he could help you one way or another. It’s been quite some time since he visited that cafe and he doesn’t have anything to do, anyway. At your nod, he asks again. “When do you want to go?”

“I’m free the whole day, if you don’t mind going today…” You trail off, feeling a little awkward if you’re being completely honest. It’s been two weeks since you’ve moved in, and while you’ve passed the awkward phase, you’re still not there yet when it comes to favors.

“Let me change real quick then.” He definitely didn’t expect you to say yes when he offered, but now that you’ve asked him… Might as well, right? 

The ride to the cafe isn’t as awkward as you suppose it would be, the radio filling in the silence between the two of you when you’re not talking. Minghao asks if you have anything in mind you want to draw already, and you say you actually have no idea, that you want to see if there are any easy examples you can follow because you’re not gifted enough to draw anything by yourself.

“What about you?”

“Hmm… Any requests?”

You laugh at this, and then hum to yourself to see if there’s anything you’d like to see. For a second, you wonder if you’re crossing the line by asking him to draw for you in a way, but if it’s Minghao himself who asks, it should be okay, right?

“Flowers?” Your voice falters as you think of the last dream you have of Mingyu. Yellow flowers, wasn’t it?

You hear his smile before you see it, and when you turn to him curiously, Minghao offers you a nod and asks again if you have any flowers you prefer. But you don’t really know your flowers, so you tell him you want to see anything vibrant, that it’s up to him whatever flower exactly.

“Vibrant, huh?” You wonder if you imagined the slight curt in his tone, but Minghao nods once again and says he’ll see what he can do.

“You don’t have to, though!” You say, suddenly conscious that you’re making him draw something for you.

“It’s okay. I didn’t know what to draw, anyway.” He grins to assure you, but you can tell that there’s something going on inside his head that you don’t dare to ask.

“Alright… But don’t feel bad if you want to draw something else, okay?” You manage to say, hoping that you don’t sound like you’re putting a distance between the two of you. Minghao changes the topic from then, and it’s not long until you find yourself arriving at the cafe.

It’s weird, what you’re feeling. You’re both afraid and excited, as art has always been something that you associate with Mingyu. You never do it with anyone else, or even by yourself, for that matter. Mingyu was the only reason you’re even interested in it, and you’re pretty sure you would never even try if it wasn’t for him.

And now you’re here. About to go to a cafe where you can draw at, a cafe you had promised Mingyu you’d go together with…

And now you’re here.

With someone else.

“Let’s go?” Minghao’s voice breaks you from your thoughts, something you’re incredibly thankful for because you’re just about to spiral into a hurricane of emotion otherwise.

Half an hour later, you find yourself sitting side by side with Minghao as the busy sound of the cafe fills the silence between you two. You straighten your back as you exhale a deep breath, the sound of it makes Minghao chuckle from beside you. 

“What flower is that?” You glance at his drawing, intrigued by the amount of details Minghao pours into it despite not having any reference whatsoever. He’s drawing by memory, you assume, as you can’t see his phone anywhere near him, and now that you really look at his drawing, you think you’ve seen the flower before. 

Minghao pauses before he answers you, his gaze fixated on the paper in front of him. “Forsythia.”

You hum as you take out your phone, looking up the flower to see pictures of them. It’s when you quietly mutter to yourself that Minghao turns to you, a small smile on his face as he sees you admire the flowers.

“You know them?”

You shake your head, then close your phone and return to the paper in front of you. You’ve drawn nothing but the night sky, poorly drawn hills, and a few street lamps along the street. It’s nowhere near good drawing, but at least you can tell for sure that those objects are identifiable and that’s enough win for you.

Like going here trying to draw.

Like going here without shedding a tear even though your lips trembled when you step into the cafe.

That’s enough win for now.

“Can I ask something?” his voice brings you out of your thoughts, and when you nod, his voice is hesitant despite your okay. “Why… is it so dark?”

“What is?”

“Your drawing.”

Huh. Is it?

“Is there any reason you’re not drawing the moon or stars?”

You blink at the question, then look again at the night sky you’ve been drawing the past thirty minutes. The constellation mark behind your ear suddenly stings a little; have you come to hate astronomical objects so much that you end up drawing nothing but the sky without even realizing?

“It just… didn’t occur to me.” You offer him a small smile, your colored pencil hovering upon the night sky. “I can’t draw them now though, can I?”

He hums as he skims your drawing, then his eyes glance at the pack of colored pencils next to you.

“Yeah. It’d be hard to draw the moon because you’ve colored most of the night sky.” He nods and smiles your way, one that you return with a tilt of your head. “It’s okay though. It’s still pretty as it is. Some nights we can’t see the stars and the moon anyway. Doesn’t really matter, right?”

…Doesn’t really matter, huh? You bite your lip as you ponder over his words, your mark feels like it’s tingling behind your ear.

“Can I ask something too?” You say after some time, eyes still focused on the flower he’s drawing.

“Sure.”

“I notice there are a lot of flowers in your paintings back home. Is there a reason why you like painting flowers so much?” His movement pauses at your question, and, for a second, you wonder if you’re intruding. But Minghao answers before you can retract your question, his hand moves again to fill in the color in the petal.

“It’s my soulmate mark.” His tone is much too nonchalant for such a topic, but as much as Minghao can tell you’re hurting by the look of your eyes, you can also tell he’s hiding by the tightness in his voice.

It’s very subtle, but from your point of view, it can’t be anymore obvious that Minghao is also struggling, presumably about something along the same line as you. Soulmate isn’t a sensitive topic for most people, but now that you’ve seen him this way, you can tell at once that you both share the same reluctance towards the issue.

At least it’s also clear that he’s coping far better than you are. Whatever’s happened between him and his soulmate, you hope it’s not as bad as what befell you.

“You wouldn’t know which one though,” he jokes to divert the topic. It’s more for your sake than it is for him, you feel like. He probably knows you’re not sure what to comment on that.

“I’m sure they’re pretty either way.” You comment vaguely, suddenly itching to touch the constellation behind your ear. You hesitate before you continue, unsure if it’s okay to bring it up again, but you also feel bad and you let your feelings override yourself for once. “I’m sorry I made you draw flowers.”

Minghao completely stops at that, and even though you’re not sure what you were expecting, you surely didn’t expect amusement clouding his face when you meet his gaze.

“Why are you sorry though?”

“Just felt like I needed to apologize.” You shrug, your voice gets gradually smaller as you continue. “Seems like it’s personal to you.”

“It’s fine. Like you said, I do paint a lot of flowers.” His smile is genuine, and you’re glad that he really does sound amused if anything.

Your conversation shifts from there, the two of you swift through light-hearted topics as you finish your drawings. You watch as the staff turn your drawing into an acrylic key ring, a happy smile on your face as you look at the result in your hand.

It’s definitely much better than you expected, and you think it’s good that you went with Minghao because, had it been Jeonghan, you would’ve cried thinking about Mingyu the whole time. You’re glad you went with your roommate, someone between a stranger and a friend, someone that you need to be careful with but close enough that it’s not uncomfortable.

“Yours is so pretty…” You mutter in fascination as you peek at Minghao’s, happy to take the key ring from him when he asks if you want to look closely.

“You can take it.” He says with the entirety of his heart, the grin on his face painted with pride. It’s one thing to have people sing praises to his work, but it’s another story altogether when he sees someone like you who looks at his creation like it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. When you ask if he’s sure you can have it like it doesn’t make sense for him to just give it away, he chuckles and nods. “You look like you’d appreciate it. That’s good enough for me.”

“Thank you!” You clutch the keyring between your palms, telling him you’d take good care of it. “I’d offer you mine but…”

“I’ll take it.” He offers you his palm, and then chuckles some more when you ask again if he’s sure about his choice. “You doubt me a lot, huh?”

“It’s just… Mine isn’t as pretty though.” You scrunch your nose as you hand him your result. Yes, it’s better than you expected, but still…

“I saw how much effort you put into that.” He begins, his thumb caressing your keyring. “And I did say it looks pretty, no? I wasn’t just saying it to make you feel better.”

Whispering a small thank you, Minghao almost laughs at how shy you look at his compliment. He looks at the keyring again, a picture of street lamps beneath the night sky. Then his mind pictures your focused frown when you were drawing them, and then to the conversation he had with you almost two weeks ago about this very cafe; how you were holding back tears and how you had reacted when he brought up the cafe.

And now here you are, talking animatedly about how the experience has been much more fun than you expected it to be. And even though he did catch you spacing out from time to time, he notices how determined you are from the beginning. Determined to do what, he can only guess.

He thinks he’ll think of you now everytime he looks at the night sky.

He gazes at the keyring yet again, and then at you next to him.

He thinks he has never seen an effort so beautiful.

Mingyu loved seeing you with your hair up; a pony tail, a bun, anything that let him see your whole face and didn’t cover your soulmate mark if only a little. The location of your soulmate mark doesn’t really allow you a lot of hairstyles that won’t cover it, but if you have your hair up, you’d at least be able to see half of the constellation that stops just a little below your ear.

That said, you wear your hair down most of the time after he’s left, having developed a habit of hiding the black constellation scattered there. The most you’d do to your hair is to tie half of it, which doesn't happen a lot.

“I have a question.” Minghao says as he pours your empty glass of wine once again. Minghao was chilling by himself when you returned from the convenience store, and when you saw the wine bottle on the coffee table, you had been quick to ask if you could join his little routine.

“Shoot.” Undeniably, you’ve gotten closer with him the past few months. You hadn’t expected to find a friend when you first moved in, but Minghao clicks with you in ways you haven’t really clicked with others that you can easily say he’s one of your close friends now.

It’s different, what you have with him.

Jeonghan is your voice of reason as much as he is the devil’s advocate; he’d push and push and push but he also knows when to pull you back when necessary. He cares for you like a best friend and an older brother, having his own way to change between the two roles accordingly.

You’re not the closest with Lisa. She’s not the kind of friend you’d look for first when you need someone to talk to, but you only have good memories with her since high school and it’s always laughter filling your cheeks everytime you meet up with her. You trust her when it comes to it, and she’s a token of happy memories you keep in your life.

Mingyu… Mingyu is–was your soulmate. He understood you without you saying anything, he knew when to leave you alone and when to coax you into telling him what’s bothering you. He spoiled you like there’s no tomorrow, listened when your rambling didn’t make any sense, and held you in his arms on nights you didn’t want to talk to anyone. He’s loud with his affection, never hesitated to show you his love even though he knew you’re never insecure when it came to that.

But Minghao… he observes and hypothesizes. He’s calculated and he’s silent with his concern. He doesn’t always ask when he thinks something might be up, simply leaves you be and you’d find a cup of iced chocolate or an ice cream with a note that lets you know they belong to you the next day. He pretends he doesn’t know you’re crying even though you’re sure you look like a mess, he’d just ask if you want to eat something or if he should just order online.

You don’t have a lot of friends, but from the few that you have, Minghao is the most like you.

And now that you think about it, you somehow gravitate towards those much different that you are; people who are loud in the best way possible. Which is why your friendship with Minghao feels different in ways that you can’t really describe. 

“Why do you never tie your hair?” You have expected Minghao to ask this question sooner, if you’re being honest, as you’re sure that he’s noticed this since before. You’ve caught him eyeing your long hair from time to time, mostly when you two are out and it’s hot outside while you stubbornly let your hair down for the sake of covering your ear.

“Does it bother you?” You ask while sipping on your wine. It’s your fourth glass already, and even though you’re not usually a fan of alcohol, there would be days like this when you just feel like letting loose and crave for some.

Minghao shakes his head and changes the song playing in the background, finding something softer than the jazz instrument he played earlier. It’s another lazy Saturday night for the two of you, and between liking to stay at home and your somewhat similar personality, it’s really not surprising how easy it was to be close to Minghao in the span of five months.

How could you not when the two of you almost always spend your days together, even more your weekends? Jeonghan would join you from time to time, or he’d drag you out and there would be days when Minghao also tags along.

So, really, it’s safe to say you’re with Xu Minghao almost 70% of the time except for the time when you’re at work.

“Not really. Just wondering because it looks hot to go around like that all the time.”

You hum as you contemplate your next words. You could’ve just brushed it off like you always do when people ask, but a part of you has finally arrived at a place where it wants to let him know about Mingyu even only a little.

After all, there are days when you share your pain with him. None of you really talk about it, but you’d both vaguely mention about sad romance from time to time; enough for the two of you to be almost sure that, yes, there’s something wrong about the soulmate situations upon you both.

Perhaps it’s the alcohol in your system. Or perhaps it’s the dream you had of Mingyu last night, his fingers tucking your hair behind your ear and smiling at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his eyes on.

That’s probably why you feel like drinking today.

While moving in with Minghao proves to be a good step towards moving, it doesn’t mean you’ve stopped crying when Mingyu appears in your dreams, which no longer happens quite often. There are still days when you’d read his old messages and stare at old pictures. When you’d open his Instagram account that’s no longer active and scroll through his aesthetically arranged feed.

It doesn’t hurt as much anymore, but you still get choked up for obvious reasons.

At least he no longer resides in your mind on a daily basis, though the thought also weighs like a boulder upon your heart.

You… want to move on from him, but you also don’t.

The amount of love you hold for Mingyu is more than you think possible, it’s overwhelming and it’s a burden at times. You didn’t think you could love someone like you did Mingyu, soulmate or not.

You don’t mind though. Even though the love is heavy and you don’t think you can ever love anyone–anything as much as you love Mingyu, you don’t mind and you still want to do it.

You still want to do it now even if he’s no longer with you. Even if his scent has completely faded from every single belonging of his that you bring with you to your new place. 

The fact that you’re actually getting used to a life without him hurts.

It hurts almost as much as the day you lost him.

It hurts because you’re close to forgetting how he even sounded if not for the hoard of videos of him in your phone.

Aren’t you supposed to be together forever? To hold each other every night and spend the rest of your life basking in each other’s warmth?

Aren’t you supposed to be soulmates? What the fuck went up there that decided you’re not going to have a happy ending with your soulmate?

You want to be okay without him.

You don't want to be okay without him.

Minghao’s concerned voice brings you out of your trance, and it’s only when you taste something salty in your lips that you realize you’ve been crying. 

For all the time Minghao pretends he’s never noticed you crying, this can’t be one of them. Not when your tears come out of nowhere when you were spacing out for a few seconds upon his question. And when he asks in a hushed whisper whether you want him to hold you, you don’t even answer as you dive straight to his embrace, your tears refusing to stop now that you’re in someone’s arms.

He doesn’t seem to mind though and, for some reason, the way his arms gently circle around you makes you cry even harder. It’s such a contrast with Mingyu’s tight embrace, he always made sure to hug you hard, something to remind you that he’s there and you have him with you.

Minghao's hold is careful but sure, the way he hugs you is almost ticklish, like you’d break if he hugs you just a little too tight. Except for the few times you fell asleep on his shoulder upon movie nights, this is the first time you’ve ever been this physically close with Minghao.

You end up telling a gist of Mingyu that night, tying up your hair to show him your soulmate mark. If Minghao’s surprised at its color, he doesn’t show it, and it’s you who gasp in shock when he tugs the neckline of his shirt to show you his own blackened soulmate mark near his collarbone.

IMinghao starts talking first, as he figures it might be easier for you if you know he’s been through something along the same line. He never really likes talking about his soulmate, doesn’t really have any reason to do so either. But looking at you like this, it’s the urge to comfort you that overrides his usual reluctance.

If his pain can be anything other than pain… if it can even help someone in some way, perhaps it’d be better to share the story he’s been holding to himself.

“She left me for someone else.” You want to wipe the weak smile off his face, want to tell him that he doesn’t have to act like he’s okay because you can’t even begin to imagine the amount of pain Minghao went through. “Said she found someone better and she doesn’t believe in soulmates. That we’re too different and believed the fact that we’re soulmates just proved that fate is nothing but stupid games.”

You know whatever words you offer him wouldn’t be enough.

You know.

You know because nothing anyone says would be enough to comfort you.

So you share him your pain, show him that he’s not alone and you know how it feels to be left behind.

The story you tell him is a very oversimplified version of the whole thing, that your soulmate is no longer with you and it’s still hard even though you’re coping. Though you do tell him that you did move into his house due to the same person.

Minghao’s gaze doesn’t falter as you tell him a very small part of your story, just enough to know you’re both hurting in the same way. That you’ve both lost the people who're supposed to be your destiny regardless of the reasons why. He doesn’t hesitate when he wipes your tears with his thumb, the look in his eyes is anything but pity.

Your lips still tremble despite your tears stopping, making it hard for you to continue talking even if you’re not sure how much you’re going to tell Minghao that night. But in a moment of weakness, your gaze falls to his lips the same time his eyes fall to yours. And when your eyes find each other a second later, you have no idea who makes the first move and how your lips end up upon his.

The kiss you share with him is soft; your lips upon his over and over again, your palms firmly planted on his shoulders as his stays on your waist. You have no idea either how long the kiss lasts for, but the kiss is sad as much as it is comforting, your fingers balling into fists as you grasp his shirt to get yourself together.

You wonder if Minghao can also taste the salty tears falling from your eyes upon his lips.

It’s him who pulls away first, and he doesn’t give you a chance to meet his eyes as he pushes you into the juncture of his neck and kisses the top of your head.

For the first time, Mingyu’s smile is sad when he appears in your dream.

He’s trying to tell you something, but there’s no sound coming out of his lips and your eyes are too blurry to make sense of his words. You’ve missed him so much, and you hate that he looks concerned when it’s been so long since you’ve dreamed of him.

You can still feel the fluttering warmth of Mingyu’s lips on your forehead when you wake up, only to find Minghao holding you to his chest as you both lay on the couch, his eyes closed and his protective arms firm around your figure.

You're not avoiding Minghao.

You've honestly just been plagued by the last dream you had of Mingyu that you’ve been a little dysfunctional for the past week. You haven’t got the chance to tell Jeonghan about the dream nor what went down that night, and you plan on telling him tonight in the comfort of your bedroom just in case you’d be crying again.

You’ve texted Minghao Jeonghan might be sleeping over that night, though he might also go home if he suddenly decides otherwise. You stare at your phone as you bite your lip, hating how you can even tell how awkward you two are even over texts.

[14:22] Hao, is it ok if Jeonghan stays the night? He might also suddenly decide to go home tho!!! I promise we’ll stay quiet

[18:45] Minghao 🍀: Sorry, I thought I replied already. 

[18:46] Minghao 🍀: And sure. You know I don’t mind Jeonghan.

[18:46] Minghao 🍀: Thanks for the heads up.

Minghao doesn’t usually answer late, and it’s worrying you a little that it takes him almost four long hours to answer you. Isn’t he working from home today?

You really need to get back to your senses and fix whatever weird situation between you and your roommate. Though, truthfully, you know it’s just you making it weird because Minghao has been acting like usual. The smile he gave you when you both woke up in each other’s arms still haunts you among other things.

And while it’s true you’re not avoiding him, it’s also true you don’t know how to face him after that day.

“When’s Jeonghan picking you up?” Lisa snaps you out of your trance, sipping the last of her coffee. It’s been quite some time since you met up with her, and her text has come right when you need a happy distraction so you’re more than happy to accept the invitation and meet her after work, which is why your hang out with Jeonghan has been pushed accordingly.

It’s the weekend tomorrow, anyway.

“In a bit.” As usual, spending time with Lisa means having a good time. Usually, it’s followed by a good night sleep on your part, but as much as you love spending time with her, the thought of Mingyu, Minghao, and wanting to talk to Jeonghan about them clouds your mind to the point where you’re sure you won’t be having a good night sleep tonight. “He’s stuck in traffic.”

It’s about fifteen minutes later that Jeonghan comes in, and he sits down next to you to talk with Lisa for a bit before you part ways with her. You listen to him talk about work as he drives, offering your thoughts on the matters that you think would help.

When he pulls into Minghao's driveways you stop him from getting off the car, ripping the bandaid with one go because you don’t know how to do it otherwise.

“Me and Minghao kissed last week.”

Jeonghan looks at you wide-eyed, mouth opening and closing as he tries to find the right thing to say.

“Just telling you now because I… well, there’s a chance Minghao might catch it if I tell you later.” 

He stares at you in what you’d describe as worry, but before you can ask him to explain, he grabs your hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. “But you’re okay?”

“Somewhat.” You squeeze his hand back. “I’ll tell you everything after dinner.”

Surprisingly, Junhui’s voice greets you the moment you open the door. He’s speaking Chinese, your mind registers, and if his tone indicates anything, he’s upset and he’s nagging. You don’t see Minghao anywhere though, and you find Junhui by himself in the kitchen, hanging up on whoever’s on the other line before he slips his phone back into his pocket.

“Jun?”

“Oh. Hi. Want some soup?” He says like it’s normal that he’s here cooking without the owner of the house.

“What are you doing?”

“Minghao’s down with a high fever.” He shakes his head as he stirs the soup in front of him. “He’s sleeping now.”

Minghao’s sick? Is that why you didn’t see him at all this morning? Why didn’t he tell you, though? You could’ve brought him something had you known.

“Can I… talk to you for a bit?” Junhui asks, his eyes flickering to Jeonghan behind you. The older guy seems to get the message, quickly leaving the kitchen and into the living room before you even answer. “Something happened between you and Hao, huh?”

For all it’s worth, you know Junhui has always been a protective friend. You’ve never been particularly close with him, but he’s close with Mingyu and you know what kinda person Junhui is courtesy of Mingyu’s words. He’s playful and he’s caring. Mingyu used to say Junhui isn’t the kind of person he would want to be enemies with, that he’s glad he’s friends with the older guy.

So to have him look at you with a piercing gaze, it’s hard for you not to deflate under his eyes.

“You don’t need to tell me anything. He didn’t either.” He starts, and then hesitates before he continues. “I… How are you?”

Your eyes prickle with tears at his question, because you know he’s not just asking about you in general. It’s there even if he doesn’t say it outright: how are you coping without Mingyu? 

You try your best to blink the tears back, but fail when Junhui reaches out and pats your head. Your palm blocks the sob out of your mouth, and it’s when Junhui says his next words that your sobs turn into pathetic whimpers.

“Don’t think about it too much, okay? I know it’s hard without him. But if there’s anyone who can take care of you like he did… I’m sure he would’ve wanted you to take that chance.”

It’s hard to listen to him and not cry. Not when you know how close Junhui was with Mingyu. They’re not the bestest of friends, but were still close enough to spend nights drinking with each other to talk about life and the problems that came within.

Between all of Mingyu’s friends, you knew Junhui was one of the people he respected most.

“Mingyu used to say you always think about him before anything.” His voice trembles as he says it, and that’s when you realize you’ve only spoken about Mingyu once with him after the whole thing. As much as you’re hurting, you know they are too, to certain points. “But I think… I think it’s okay not to think of him first now. You don’t need to forget him. But try to think of yourself too, alright?”

You nod, not being able to say anything to that. While you haven’t actually dwelled on what you’re feeling for Minghao, it’s true that you’ve always stopped yourself from even thinking about it because of Mingyu. He’d come into your mind everytime Minghao does, and while it helps a little to know that at least you’ve both lost your soulmates, it’s still hard for you to think that you’d be replacing Mingyu somehow.

You don’t want to replace Mingyu.

You don’t want Minghao to be a rebound.

But is he, really?

“I’m not saying you have to decide now whether you want to give Minghao a try or not. But… you deserve another chance at happiness, okay? And whether it's with Minghao or not, I hope you'll take it when the chance presents itself to you.” He whispers softly.  

It’d be a lie if you say you’ve never tried to think about Minghao in that light. Because you have, you have since that day you went to the cafe and drew with him. But Mingyu clouds your mind, and a part of you always feels like you’re betraying him and his memories if you even think about being with someone else.

“I promise Mingyu wouldn’t want you to hold yourself back from a chance of another happiness.” You cry harder at this, palm still covering your mouth to stop your sob from echoing throughout the house. “I know it’s still hard to accept that Mingyu is no longer here. I know, trust me, I do. I lost my little brother too that day, and if it’s hard for me as a friend, I can only imagine how hard it is for you who lost your soulmate. But you can’t trap yourself in his memories forever, right?”

It’s then that you cry, cry, and cry.

It’s one thing to think to yourself that you’ve lost him, that he’s not with you anymore and there’s nothing you can do about it. But it’s another to hear it from someone else’s mouth right in front of your face.

It reminds you of that night a year and a half ago in the hospital, the words ringing in your head over and over again until it’s the only thing that echoes in your mind.

Mingyu is gone.

He’s gone and he’s not coming back to you.

He can’t come back to you.

No matter how much you’ve cried into your pillow and cursed at the gods to bring him back to you, it’s nothing but a futile attempt because he’s not here.

He’s no longer in this world and your heart still aches everytime you think about the fact that he’s dead and you can’t see him anymore.

What’s the use of having a soulmate if he’s going to leave you first out of nowhere?

What’s the use of having a soulmate when you couldn’t even do anything to protect him from the accident that took his life?

What the fuck is the use of having a soulmate if you’re not going to end up together with him for the rest of your life?

It’s then that Jeonghan rushes to the kitchen, immediately kneeling beside you on the floor because you don’t have any energy to even stand on your feet at this point. You don't even realize you're wailing, your palm doing nothing to help stopping your broken cry.

Jeonghan can't hear anything but your sobs since earlier, but he knows your talk with Junhui is long overdue, which is why he’s been holding himself back from barging in even though he’s been worried. But how can he stay still if he's heard you let out a loud cry followed by a thud?

Junhui follows and kneels next to you, patting your head once again as he wipes your tears to no avail.

“Think about it… okay?”

You’re spacing out as you lean on Jeonghan’s shoulder when Junhui knocks on your door. You’ve spent the last hour telling your best friend everything, from the way you’ve been suppressing your thoughts about Minghao to the talk with Junhui earlier. In a true Jeonghan style, he has offered you a piece of his mind followed by saying he agrees with Junhui though he doesn't fail to remind you to take your time thinking about it.

“Do you mind taking care of Minghao or do you want me to stay over?” It’s almost ten in the evening, you look at the clock on your wall, and you suppose Junhui is trying to figure out if he should go home now or not. “He gets a little needy when he’s sick but doesn’t say anything.”

You look at Jeonghan for some reason, and when he offers you nothing but raised eyebrows, you turn to Junhui and say you’d take care of Minghao for him.

“You sure?” He asks one more time. “I can just stay over if you don’t want to.”

Junhui chooses those words for a reason. He didn’t ask if you can do it, he makes sure to let you know that it’s okay if you don’t want to.

But you do. As much as you’re conflicted, you can’t deny the worry bubbling in your chest the moment you heard Minghao’s down with fever to the point where it's hard for him to even get out of bed.

“I’ll take care of him.” You say with a determined nod, your arm squeezing Jeonghan’s for support.

“Then I’ll trust you with him.” You’re probably looking too much into it. You have no idea if Minghao has confided Junhui in what’s transpired between the two of you, but his words seem to mean more to you regardless of his real intention. 

“I’ll take you home then.” Jeonghan surprises you both, patting your cheek before he gently lets go of you. “I don’t think it’s me you need to be with tonight.”

It’s silent once the two went home, and you’re left on your own in the living room. You try to think about your talk with the two men, but your head pounds a little from all the crying. Your eyes are probably puffy too, though at least they’re not red and you probably just need to drink some water to help your headache.

You close your eyes and exhale as you lean your head back against the sofa head. Has it really been one and a half year since you lost Mingyu?

It's funny, grieving. You never really get over it, and as much as you claim you're okay and you've accepted that he's no longer with you, you know you'd never entirely accept that deep down in your heart.

Some days Mingyu doesn't cross your mind at all. Some days you can suddenly cry in between conversations because his name rings across your head for no apparent reason.

Time seems to be too fast and too slow when it comes to memories of Mingyu. You never really thought about finding a new romance before, if only because you live in a world where soulmates exist and Mingyu took your heart with him the moment he left this world.

It must be some sort of twisted fate too for you to find Minghao, another shattered soul whose soulmate left him by choice. As much as it hurt you to lose Mingyu the way you did, you couldn’t imagine how Minghao picked up the pieces of his broken heart because the person who’s supposed to be his forever left him for selfish reasons.

You can’t imagine how his heart can still be as pure as it is with the pain it went through.

While you don’t know yet what exactly went down, what you know for sure is how beautiful of a person Minghao is. He probably knows you’re struggling since the beginning. He’s been considerate in more ways than you could’ve imagined, in his own soft, subtle way to the point where you didn’t realize he’s taking care of you.

It took you quite some time to realize, but it makes sense because you can recognize the pain that flashes through his eyes too from time to time. As two owners of broken fate, it’s not surprising that you recognize one another.

The sound of the door creaking brings you back from your head, and you see Minghao looking a little lost when the door opens, probably wondering why the house is dark and quiet.

“Why are you out of bed?” You scold him softly as you make your way to him. You usher him back to bed, but Minghao insists his body hurts from laying down too much and he needs to stretch a little. 

So you make him sit on the sofa instead, which he whines at because it’s not that different, but his heart softens at your concerned whine so he decides entertaining you shouldn’t be too bad even if he feels like walking around the house.

“Drink some water.” You hand him his usual mug, then plops beside him as your palm automatically reaches for his forehead, cheek, and then neck. Minghao doesn’t say anything as he stares at you, though he shivers at your touch because your palm is cold when it meets his skin. “Your fever has gone down, I think."

“Were you worried?” his voice asks softly. Almost hopeful, even. None of you bothers to turn on the lights, though the light peeking from the kitchen helps just enough for you two to see each other albeit dimly.

You think Minghao might be a little delirious, but Junhui did say Minghao gets needy when he’s sick, so you do the least you can do and decide to throw away all of your thoughts for the night. What matters right now is that he’s sick and you want to take care of him.

“I was. Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” It’s funny the way you’re both talking like it’s a secret. Your soft voices barely heard throughout the house even though it’s loud enough just for the two of you.

Minghao shrugs, not offering you any explanation. But you see it in his eyes, in the way he hesitates and shakes his head. He probably didn’t think it was okay to tell you. 

“Tell me next time, okay? Though it would be better if you don’t get sick again.”

He hums and it’s silent after that. Minghao turns to the window, looking at the dark night outside. “Did Junhui go home?”

“Yeah. I told him I’d take care of you.”

“Did you?” His voice gets even softer when he says this, both hopeful and afraid. But before you can say anything, he cuts you off and asks again. “And Jeonghan?”

“Took Junhui home.” You pause before you continue. Is it a good time to bring it up now? Would it be better to do it when you’re both awake and well? Listen to your heart, okay? It’s okay to put your guard down sometimes. Jeonghan’s words from earlier ring in your head. “Said that it’s not him I need to be with tonight.”

If he’s surprised, Minghao doesn’t show it. But his stare seems to pierce through the dark and you can’t find it in you to look away. Mingyu appears once again in your mind, but you try your best to suppress the thought before you find yourself deep into it.

“Is there anyone you need to be with tonight?”

“Mmh. Maybe.” You try to be nonchalant, very conscious of the way your heart is beating loudly against your chest. You look out the window before you start talking again, a pensive look on your face as you contemplate your words. “It’s weirdly dark tonight, huh?”

Minghao follows your sight and nods, waiting for you to say more. You gather your hair and move them to your right shoulder, and from where he’s at, he can see the black stars peeking behind your left ear.

“It’s Cassiopeia, my mark.” You start, your eyes still locked on the night sky. “I tried looking them up once, but I suppose I’m not smart enough to actually understand the story. Mingyu did though, and he’d pop up a quiz from time to time to see if there’s anything I retain from all the time he babbled about our identical marks.”

He doesn’t know where you’re going with this, but his hand finds yours and he’s glad you don’t pull away, simply holds his hand tighter as if you’re looking for something to keep you going. His heart cracks at your weak smile, but he knows you have more to say and he’s more than willing to listen.

“I ended up liking them though; the celestial objects. The moon, the stars, planets, everything that’s up there in the sky. I found fascination in them and I’d find myself buying stuff with their patterns.”

Minghao can’t see you clearly because of the dark, but he imagines your eyes are watering up by the slight tremble of your voice.

“And then it stopped when Mingyu died. I don’t hate them, but it hurts to see them and… if you remember my drawing those months ago, I suppose that’s why my drawing was so dark even if I did it unconsciously.”

You pause to take a breath, your hand tightens around Minghao’s. “I think he took all the stars with him the night he left. That selfish jerk.”

His heart clenches painfully at your weak chuckle, at the way your hand reaches up to wipe your own tears, and at the way you take a deep breath in determination.

“But… But it’s okay even if we can’t see the stars, right?”

Minghao gapes at his own words from that day you drew together, words that he said without much thought but seems to hit you in ways that he would never imagine. He tightens his grip on you, and then pulls you to his shoulder before taking his turn to speak.

“You probably don’t recognize it. But forsythia is my soulmate mark.” He says as he caresses your knuckle, his mind taking him back to the exact day you referred to just seconds ago. “I knew it took a lot for you to be there. And even though I didn’t know exactly why, I could tell it was hard. But you pulled through and I thought I should do the same. So when you asked me to draw a flower, I knew I had to draw the most beautiful forsythia I could ever draw in my life.”

“I used to hate them, you know?” You can hear him smile even though you’re buried in his shoulder, his arm that has made its way around you pushes you more into himself. “But you saw that drawing like it’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. I didn’t think much of it at first, but I saw you carrying around that keyring everyday and it’s… something. I’ve heard a lot of people compliment my works, but I’ve never seen someone appreciate it as much as you do. It wasn’t intentional, but I think you helped me get through it without even meaning to.”

You pull away to look him in the eyes, and for someone who claims you don’t find beauty in stars anymore, you almost want to dive into Minghao’s eyes that seem to twinkle with all the stars Mingyu took with him.

“Do you know what forsythia symbolizes?” You know he’s not expecting you to actually know, so you shake your head and urge him to continue. “Anticipation, apparently. Because they bloom in spring and signal the beginning of one. I’d like to interpret it as the flower of a new beginning.”

You almost cry again at what it implies; at what it can imply not only for him but for the two of you. Is it too early to jump into that? Is it too fast? Weren’t you just crying about Mingyu hours ago?

“We don’t have to figure it out now.” His voice rings through the night, his fingers caress your arm to shield you from whatever’s in the dark of night. “The morning will come eventually even when the night is long, right?”

“Yeah.” You succumb into his embrace as you smile through your tears. But how can you not when Minghao says those words like Mingyu did many nights ago?

“Don’t think about it too much.” He kissed your cheek and hugged you close to his chest, to shut you up more than anything, really. “It’s not like the morning won’t come even if the night is a little too long. Focus on what you have in front of you, instead okay?”

“But what if–”

“No.” He cut you off, his palm covering your mouth as he laughed at your glare. “No what if. Let’s enjoy the night while we’re at it.”

“You sound stupid.” You rolled your eyes in mock annoyance despite the way your heart swelled in affection.

“You love me anyway.” He grinned cheekily, which you laughed at out of embarrassment because if there’s one thing you could never do, it’s to deny your love for him even jokingly.

“Hao?” 

“Hm?”

“You’ll hold me through the night, right?”

He smiles like it’s not even a question, his fingers intertwining with yours as if to make a point.

“Yeah.”

“Even if it’s a long one?”

He clasps your hand tighter, his thumb caressing your knuckle.

“Yeah.”

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved.

A/N 2: hi!! it's been quite some time since i write anything along this genre. i've always wanted to write soulmate!au and while this isn't exactly heartfluttering like soulmate!au usually is, i hope you enjoyed it one way or another. this fic got longer than i originally planned, but i hope you guys enjoyed it and please do send me your thoughts through anything you're comfortable with. i know it sounds repetitive at this point, but it's truly your feedbacks that keep me goin<3

A/N 3: did any of u guessed gyu di*d btw

permanent taglist: @kyeomjjigae @stantrash171819 @sebongmochi @luveveryonewoo @thinkinboutwonu @kpopjackie @ursweetener @lavenderautumnx @itsveronicaxxx @shuahoshiscoups @sunshinein17 @leechanniee @twogyuu @hoe4wonwoo @h3h3tm0n @noraehey @seokshook @rubyhoons @02psh @just-here-to-read-01 @listxn @janandbeyond @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly

also tagging: @joonsytip

#caratwritersclub #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #minghao angst #minghao fluff #mingyu angst #mingyu fluff #mingyu scenarios #seventeen au #seventeen fic #seventeen imagine #mingyu imagines #the8 angst #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen scenario #minghao imagine #mingyu oneshot #mingyu x reader

[countessofravenclaw]

Like the Red Rose blooms in the Oxford Garden: Chapter one

Sometimes when your heart breaks... it feels like there is no way to fix it. No matter what you try. All the memories get left behind as something unfinished... But maybe, there is to way to fix it, A second chance. Some way to finish the story you two started writing because it was never the end, but just a part of the story... even if you have to travel far to achieve it.

I forget about you long enough, to remember why I needed you

Breathe.

Just stand still and breathe… she could do this. 

Just breathe, in and out. 

The noise of everyone clapping and cheering rang in her ears. It felt like the noise was drowning her. 

Breathe. Inhalar y exhalar. No one would notice. She could do this.

Nina felt her hands going numb as she tried to control her ever more shallow breath. She could not move. The video Delfi and Jazmin had shown had left her in a trance. It had woken something inside of her that she had thought had been buried… she had convinced herself that she had buried it. 

She had to get out of there. Out of the crowd. She could not ruin Luna’s party like this.

She willed her feet to move. Nina glanced around the yard hoping that no one had noticed her. She didn’t know what she was supposed to say to anyone…

She quickly found her way back inside the mansion and started climbing up the staircase before collapsing at the top, her head in her hands.

Everything was still spinning in her eyes, as she tried to balance out her breathing. She could not afford to have a panic attack right now. She couldn’t… 

In and out. Just breathe. Why had she been under an impression that she was able to keep her panic attacks under control? She took another shaky breath. 

The spinning started to slow down and she could not hear her racing heart so loudly anymore. The attack had started to subside and Nina was able to take a deep breath again. 

She ran her hands through her hair and tears started falling down her face. Why was this happening to her?  Why had the video gotten to her like that, she… she knew why. She just had been convincing herself that it was not true, it could have not been true anymore…

…what was so wrong with her that she was not able to get over it? Over him. She already should have, she thought she had. But just those unexpected glimpses —why had she even been caught up off guard? She knew that he had been there, she had also been there— had brough such a surge of emotions… just like when she had heard his voice again after so many months, a months ago. Everything had just come crashing back. The joy, the pain, the way she missed him… she still did, because she love—

NO! No, no no. She could not do this, she had Eric…

…Eric— What was she doing? She did not know. She didn’t know anything. More tears came from her eyes. 

How had it come to this?

“Nina?” Suddenly she heard a voice from behind her.

***

Matteo was walking around the grounds of the mansion with Luna after they had all sung happy birthday to her and the girls had showcased that video. The party was still going strong, and the energy was still being super high. Knowing Luna, the party would definitely go on until midnight if not longer. 

Matteo's own mood didn’t exactly reflect everyone else’s, but he was able to keep it to himself. It was Luna’s day after all, and he did love seeing her so happy, and Luna really was having time of her life, basically leaping on every step she took. 

“Wasn’t the video so nice?” Luna asked after trying to do a pirouette in heels on the grass, and almost falling on her face onto said grass. “I legit almost cried. We have been through so much, and so many adventures are to come, as long as we are all siempre juntos.”

“Yeah, it was nice,” Matteo agreed, lowering his head just slightly, “if only we were all together,” he said mostly to himself. Yes, it was true that the video had dampened his mood. It just brought back some memories and it was not the easiest seeing the footage of all the times with Gastón. 

They hadn’t talked that much during the past month after that call about Nina and Eric. Gastón was clearly closing himself off, even towards Matteo. Matteo knew Gastón and knew that being in denial was never good for him. He was not coming back to Buenos Aires for the summer, saying that he had gotten a coveted internship at London and could not afford to miss it… well he was the son of Isla and Marco Perida after all.

He had made sure Luna had invited Gastón to the party, but he had declined, even if it would have only been for couple days. Matteo though knew the real reason why he was keeping himself at the other side of the Atlantic. 

“What did you say?”

“Oh nothing.”

“Do you see Nina anywhere?” Luna asked looking around

“Hmmm,” Matteo said glancing around. Eric seemed to be talking to Simon and Pedro, so Nina at least was not with him. “I don’t know, maybe she went to the bathroom or something, don’t worry.”

“Oh I am not, just wondering,” Luna shrugged, “I feel like she kind of vanished after the video. I wanted to ask her opinion on it.”

“She’ll probably come back soon.”

“Hopefully. Because this party got me thinking about that we should have a graduation party…”

“Luna, grandpa wants a picture with us, right now.” Ambar suddenly sprinted in front of Luna and Matteo. Mateo still did not understand how all the girls could maneuver so smoothly with those deathtrap shoes. 

“Okay, I’ll be right there,” Luna let go of Matteo’s hand and dashed off. Matteo was about to follow her before Ambar stopped him. 

“Matteo, I left my phone to my room and Simon is too busy with the band. Can you get it for me?”

“Actually I was going to—”

“I was not asking, Matteo,” Ambar looked at Matteo with her more threatening eyes, “Go get my phone.”

“Okay, okay,” Matteo shook his head and started walking towards the door. If you were the boyfriend of the birthday girl, your job apparently was the delivery boy of the hosts. Okay, not that he really minded. He could go get Ambar her phone and be nice.

Matteo walked back to the mansion and climbed over the side staircase to Ambar‘s room. He grabbed her phone from her bed—how had she even forgotten it there?

He was checking his own phone as he came out of Ambar’s room. Matteo sighed of relief when he noticed that Gastón had actually answered to his latest message. They still needed to talk but full on phone call would need to be left to the next day. Matteo also was thinking that maybe he should take some time, probably after Luna’s graduation, to go visit England. They needed to talk face to face, as he was getting quite worried about Gastón…

He was about to turn back towards the side staircase when he heard a noise that seemed to be coming from down the hall. 

Matteo did not know if this was against his better judgment —Well he had been told multiple times that he had no “better judgment”— or not, to go after a suspicious noise in a mansion that could as well be haunted. Also, disturbed people had attempted to burn it down too, multiple times, but his curiosity got the better of him. He could fight off a burglar if it came to it. He slipped Ambar’s phone to his pocket and started moving.

As Matteo walked further in the hallway, he heard the noise again. Now more clearly. It sounded like someone was crying. 

There was no doubt about it as he approached the grand staircase of the Mansion. As he walked closer to it, he saw a figure huddled at the top of the stairs. 

Matteo instantly knew who it was, even when they were not facing him. He had witnessed Jazmin working on all the girls’ hair before the party, because she had insisted of doing his and Simon’s hair as well —Pedro had ran away. That brown straight hair with a half updo, as Jazmin had called it, was unmistakable. 

“Nina?”

Matteo saw her jump and frantically turn around. He had obviously scared her. Her glasses were in her hand and face tearstained.

“It is me, Matteo. What are you doing here?” He asked as he started walking towards her, “Are you okay?”

“...Yes…uhm, Well… no,” She was trying to wipe the tears off her face. “It’s stupid.”

“I doubt that if you are like this.” Matteo pointed out. “Do you want me to get someone?”

“NO! No, please … don’t get Eric.” Nina’s voice had quickly gotten fast and desperate… before she buried her face into her hands and, burst back into tears. Matteo furrowed his brow. It was pretty interesting that she had said that… specifically not wanting her boyfriend present. 

Hold up a second, were they even boyfriend and girlfriend? Matteo honestly had never heard Nina call Eric that. Not that Matteo had even meant him. He was never going to lie and say that he even liked the guy or whatever he had with Nina, but as Luna had said, he was not really allowed an opinion… but you gotta have some solidarity with your brother.

Matteo stepped on the stairs and sat down next to Nina. He did not wanna leave her alone while she was like this. He had gotten to know her much better during the past year, and he definitely held affection and protectiveness towards her, as she was extremely important to two people Matteo loved the most: Luna and Gastón. 

“Did something happen?” Matteo draped his arms around her, as he remembered that Gastón had mentioned in passing in some side sentence that Nina calmed down easily from physical contact. 

“No, nothing happened.” Nina sobbed, “That is the problem. I— I don’t feel anything… or at least the right things.”

“Are we talking about Eric…?” Matteo questioned carefully. Nina just nodded. Matteo tried to mask the smile on his face. He had been right, and had not just imagined the nothingness between Nina and Eric. He had always failed to see what ever Luna was always gushing about being so cute. 

“I have no right to be unhappy. I shouldn’t be, but I am. I can’t help it. Everyone was so happy for me, I just thought that, since it seemed to make so much sense to everyone, it would make sense to me too.” Nina seemed to start calming down, even when her voice still seemed quite shaky. 

“No one can tell you how you should be feeling,” Matteo responded. “I learned that the hard way.”

“I thought that I was over it. That I could move on. But I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know what I am doing.”

Matteo absolutely knew who the topic had changed into. “Honestly, we both know that I won’t be unbiased on that front, but it never is a good idea to lie to yourself. Everyone will understand.”

“Matteo, he doesn’t love me anymore. He said he was happy for me… ” Nina shook her head, “...I, I wasn’t happy about that. I don’t know what I was expecting him to say. That he would come back and fight for me? I just convinced myself that I could get over it.”

Matteo really wanted to tell her the truth about that phonecall but he knew that it was not his to tell. They needed to talk that out themselves. “Nina, you know Gastón as well as I do. Do you really think he would ever stand in the way, if he thought he was in the way of your happiness.”

“No, he wouldn’t.” Small smile formed onto Nina’s lips. “But I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore, about my future, about anything. It is a blurr. I have messed everything up for myself and I can’t see a way forward.”

“I know how that feels.” Matteo responded, “Trust me, it will all become much cleared if you really think what you want and care about. And do not think that you will disappoint anyone. Everyone loves you.”

Matteo got up and offered his hand to Nina. “I think we better head back. They’ll be having all the fun without us.”

“I can’t go back out there,” Nina shook her head. “I can’t face Eric… this is not the time and place for it. I need to get my head in straight. And… Luna will know something is wrong. I know I need to tell her, but I can’t do it here, she’d drop everything. It is her party, I can’t do that.”

“I can make up an excuse for you, if you want to slip away.” Matteo offered as Nina got up from the stairs. 

“Thank you,” Nina hugged him.

“Someone once asked me to take care of you,” Matteo hugged her back, “I don’t think I succeeded in that, but maybe I can still redeem myself. You are my friend, and we all stick together.”

“We do.” Nina smiled at him and started walking down the stairs. Matteo turned around and took the route he had come from.

“Here’s your phone,” Matteo threw the phone at Ambar as he got back to the garden. Ambar, Simon and Luna had been chatting with Delfi and Pedro next to the band gear. 

“Finally!” Ambar said as she effortlessly caught the phone. “What took you so long?”

“I could not find it.” Matteo remarked as he joined the others. “Maybe you should have sent someone that actually knows the current layout of your room… like Simon.”

Ambar looked like she wanted to snark something back at Matteo, but she just rolled her eyes, flipped her ponytail and wrapped her arm around Simon’s arm. Matteo grabbed Luna’s arm and pulled her a little further away from the circle. 

“I ran into Nina while I was on the goose chase for Ambar’s phone,” He started.

“Oh, did she come back out with you?” Luna questioned.

“No, she went home.”

“Why?”

“She had a huge migraine,” Matteo lied smoothly. That was something that would sound believable and not make anyone too worried. “Probably from the sun. And the festival this morning was probably exhausting for her as it was her performance. So not really surprising.”

“Oh noh,” Luna looked alarmed, “I should call her, make sure she is alright.”

“Luna, she knew you would make a huge fuss,” Matteo took Luna by the shoulders, “and she didn’t want to take attention away. It is your big day after all, she didn’t want to ruin it.”

“Oh,” Luna looked down, “okay then.”

“Call her tomorrow,” Matteo suggested, “Now come on. Are we just going to let that delicious looking cake melt in the sun?”

“Oh, did I tell you that Mom made it double chocolate?” Luna started pulling Matteo towards the cake. Her attention was successfully diverted. 

***

3:00 AM. Nina rolled on her side in her bed. You should never look at the alarm clock when you were having a hard time sleeping, but there she was. 

Not that it could make things any worse than they already were. Thoughts swirled in her head and she was unable to get them in order. 

Matteo was right, she should just be true to her heart and listen to it and not her head. 

In her head, being with Eric made sense. He was nice and sweet to her. He reminded her of herself… when she had been younger. She should give him a chance, she owed him that… Everyone thought so… but did she think so? 

What did she feel? She had felt content at the start because… because everyone had been so happy. Happy for her, because she was happy. Had she actually been? Been happy? 

She tried of thinking of Eric. Being with him had not been unpleasant, just, something was missing. She was not really sure about what she felt for him. Did she feel anything for him? The only thing she felt right now, was guilt. Not the overwhelming warmth and happiness that made her heart race. Everything that just a voice over the phone could cause.

She didn’t not feel the buzz when she touched his hand or the constant need to be close to him. There was nothing physical about the relationship. No attraction… Maybe it would come with time…

Be honest with yourself Nina … the truth was that… she did not want any of that. She could not even imagine it. It was not just nerves because she was inexperienced, because it was not true. She had done it before. 

She and Gastón had gone all the way just three months into the relationship. She could never regret it, it had been incredible. Any time he had even just touched her, the feeling was indescribable. She had not felt something like that since… 

Even just the way he had known something was wrong from her voice after saying once sentence. She missed that too.

Tears crept their way back into her eyes. The searing pain in her heart returned in waves. She could not keep going like this. He was gone, but that didn’t change the things with Eric. She could not keep doing this to him. She had seen firsthand what happened when the relationship was stretched too thin while there was nothing left. .

She almost instinctively reached out to the drawer in her nightstand. Her hands found the fabric easily, she never could have been able to get rid of it. Nina wrapped the green scarf around her left hand and laid back on the bed. 

Next morning she was not feeling that better, so she tried to keep busy. Alongside all of her personal problems, she still had to figure out, well, the future. 

The graduation was going to be in three days and she still had not finished any college applications. Her mother had surprisingly not been super overbearing on the topic, but Nina had the feeling that if she didn’t present her with some answers soon, Ana’s patience was going to run thin. 

This should be easy, if only she actually knew what she was doing. 

Nina was sitting on the floor of her room and had probably a thousand different university leaflets in front of her. Yeah, honestly, she was trying to focus on this to avoid the eventual conversation with Eric. But this also needed to be done, so what better time than now?

She reached for one of the leaflets and looked it through. Why was this so hard? She had thought that after figuring out the major, picking the school would come automatically. 

“Could I just get some kind of sign?” She leaned into her bed and sighed. How had she let this come to this? 

She thought back to year ago. She had had the perfect plan then, which would have given her everything she had ever wanted. But she had let that all go. She really didn’t know what she wanted, huh? Why had she stayed? Staying for the writing post seemed ridiculous right now, but she had not known it then. She had given up all her happiness, all her clarity for that, and had ended up here—Why had she done it all?

Suddenly her phone started ringing, making Nina jump for a second. She frantically looked around to see where she even had left it before getting up to get it from her nightstand. That must have been Luna, probably wanting to ask why she had disappeared last night… the call was coming from an unknown number. So it was not Luna.

“Nina Simonetti,” Nina answered the phone. 

“Nina, Hello,” a vaguely familiar male voice rang from the other end of the line. “this is Manuel Ramirez, the headmaster of Blake South College.” That's why the voice had sounded familiar.

“Hello, Mr. Ramirez,” Nina answered, not really sure why she was receiving calls from the headmaster.

“First I want to say how sorry I and all the faculty are that you won’t be giving a speech at your Graduation ceremony this Saturday.” Probably about two weeks ago after they had gotten their final exam results back Nina had received the news that she was the top student of their graduating class. Traditionally that would mean the she would have been required to give a speech at the graduation, but thankfully she had been allowed to turn it down. She would never have the courage for a speech. From what she knew, the one giving the speech was the student who had gotten highest results after her. She did not know who that was, but thats how Gastón had given the speech last year. 

“I know, but as I told Mr. Perez already, I don’t really like to give speeches and I am sure the one who has been offered the honor will be more than up to the task and I am really looking forward to hearing their speech.”

“We understand that,” Mr. Ramirez continued, “and that is not what I called you to discuss. Well, as you know already, you received the highest marks across the board. So, I have the honor to inform you that you have received the Educación Internacional Para Jóvenes Prometedores Del Mañana scholarship. It is sponsored by the city hall of Buenos Aires, and is highly coveted. Blake is one of the rare schools that has the qualifications for its students to even receive it.”

Nina was too stunned to speak for a second. She had not expected this at all. “I am sorry… I don’t think I have ever heard of that.”

“Only the top graduating student can qualify for the scholarship, and even then it is not guaranteed,” Mr. Ramirez explained, “No one at Blake has received it in a couple of years due to varying circumstances.”

“Yea, but, what is it exactly?”

“Like the name suggests, it is a scholarship for international study programs. It covers five-year University tuition, which means to masters, plus the student accommodations for a one year.”

“Wow… uhm, that is a lot,” Nina was still wrapping her head around all of it. “Does this apply to all the schools?”

“Not all of them, of course. All the Universities included in it are ones with teaching languages other than Spanish. This excludes most of the Spanish and Latin American universities. The latest schools added to the scholarship are from the Nordic region of Europe including The University of Helsinki and the Aalto University.”

“So this is for learning new cultures?”

“I won’t beat around the bush Nina,” Mr. Ramirez continued. “This scholarship is for you to go to an Ivy League school. Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and of course Cambridge and Oxford. Blake is a coveted upper secondary school and we expect great things from our alumni. We have not had an alumna in a noteworthy school outside of Argentina in five years until last year when one of our graduates went to Oxford. He is keeping the name of Blake South College up, and we have all the faith that you do the same.”

“Of course, but I need time to think.”

“I’ll sent you all the detail via email. I am sure you’ll make the school proud.”

“Thank you.” Nina said and heard the call to be disconnected. 

Wow. She had had so much on her plate that scholarships had not even crossed her mind, not to mention massive one like this. It was huge. 

Somehow automatically her hand had reached for another university leaflet… Oxford. The looming, beautiful building stared at her right from the page. The Head Master just had to mention Oxford. 

Was this the sign? Did she believe in signs? She didn’t know. 

Just… after everything had happened, she had just thought that she would spend the rest of her life in Buenos Aires. Moving away had been a fleeting dream, a burst of courage… because she would have not been doing it alone. Now… she was afraid. 

The scholarship was way too good of an opportunity to not take advantage of it. She wasn’t an idiot. Right after they had divorced, her parents had set up a trust for her future education, which they had put in a certain amount monthly. Nina’s Blake tuition had been covered from that. Of course, her parents had tried to one-up each other on their contributions, plus Mora had made couple of donations to it as well. Nina did not know the full amount, but she knew that it was a fair amount. But there definitely was something super tempting to not needing to rely on it. 

Gastón had gone to Oxford with Isla and Marco paying everything out of pocket for him, and of course he had been extremely grateful about it, but Nina knew that he had felt some kind of way about it. Being the sole child of millionaires was not as easy as it maybe seemed. 

“Why are you in my head again?” Of course, she had ended up thinking Gastón again.

All a sudden her phone rang again. This time it was Luna. 

“Hey Luna,” Nina picked up the call.

“Ninaaa!” Luna’s bubbly voice came from the other end. “Hiiii!”

“I am glad you called,” Nina started speaking, “I am so sorry that I left yesterday. I didn’t want to make a scene…”

“It’s all good. Matteo told me you got a headache.” Luna responded, “How are you feeling? Any better?”

“Yes, it went away during the night.” Headache? Matteo clearly was quite good at the excuse game, which should have not been surprising. Nina did get stress migraines from time to time. “I am fine now.” She felt really bad about lying to Luna like this, but she didn’t know what to say. She needed to figure everything out. But she would tell Luna the truth. 

“Okay well, what are you doing now?” 

“Universities. Trying to sort all that out before Mom’s patience runs out.”

“Uuuuu, me too!” Luna’s voice got even more excited. “I can’t believe that we are graduating on Saturday. Matteo has been helping me and Ambar is taking me shopping today. What are you wearing?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” Nina questioned. “Mora sent me a dress from her upcoming collection.”

“Take a picture. I wanna see it. Can you come over tomorrow? I wanna talk to you about the plans I have made about community college.”

*

“I missed you!” Luna jumped to hug Nina as she opened the Mansion door the next day. 

“You didn’t see me for a day.”

“Yeah, but still.” Luna did a small twirl. “What are those?” Luna was gesturing the pile of booklets Nina was holding-

“University pamphlets. I wanted to talk with you about all of that and you mentioned community college.”

“Yes of course,” Luna said as she skipped ahead when Nina walked inside. “Simon and Ambar are out, and so is Pedro, so only Matteo is here with us. We can talk in peace. Mom just brought some cookies to the living room… I left my phone upstairs. I’ll go get it real quick.”

Nina shook his head laughing as she watched Luna run up the stairs before realizing that she was getting up the wrong staircase. 

“She still does not know how to navigate here,” Nina turned around and saw Matteo shaking his head behind her. He had appeared from nowhere. “I was sitting on the couch, so I heard what you were talking about.” 

“Yeah. It is maybe time to actually make decisions about all of this,” Nina gestured to the brochures in her hands. “Luna mentioned leadership and teaching classes at community college.”

“Yes, that idea came to her in a dream yesterday. You know how she is. She will probably tell you more about it soon.” Matteo explained, “Monica and Miquel are really happy about her actually having a plan.”

“It is a good one. Academics are not really her and that way she can have her career in skating as she wants.”

“Yep… How are you doing?” Matteo changed the subject. “You look better than couple days ago.”

“I don’t know how I am doing.” Nina shook her head, “I made some decisions, but totally lost with others.”

“What decisions?”

“Eric,” Nina shook her head, “I just… I can’t keep doing this to him. He deserves much more than me. But I don’t know how I am supposed to tell him that. I don’t want to break his heart.”

“Well, truth is always a good start.”

“I know.” Nina said looking down, “I better put these down on the table.” she gestured to the leaflets she was carrying and started walking toward the living room. 

“Hmmmmm… Oxford huh?”

Nina turned around and to her horror, she saw Matteo holding the Oxford leaflet. When had she dropped it?

“Uhmmm, well, I just had it there.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you are pretty bad liar?” Matteo said looking at her. “Look, you don’t need to tell me, but I want you to know that you can trust me. I am your friend.”

“I know. Okay. The headmaster called me—” Nina started to explain, “—and told me that I have gotten a scholarship called: Educación Internacional Para Jóvenes Prometedores Del Mañana.”

“Wow, thats big.”

“You know what it is?”

“I am pretty sure Dad was just and just able to mask his disappointment that I didn’t get it.” Matteo laughed, “But yeah, I know what it is. So you were thinking about Oxford?”

“Well…” Nina struggled to find the right words, “...the scholarship kind of came out of the blue. I don’t know, honestly.”

“Wasn’t it your dream to go study abroad last year?”

“Well, yes, It was, but…”

“But now it is not anymore?”

“No, thats not it. I guess, it still is? Maybe. I would love to go, learn and live like an adult, with no Mom hovering over my shoulder and England is an amazing place.”

“Then what is the problem?” Nina saw Matteo to furrow his brow. “If you say Gastón, I won‘t believe you. I know him and you do too, he would never have a problem with you following your dreams.”

“I know that.” Nina smiled. “Guess part of that is the fact that I felt like he closed the door on that path for me, but I wanna open it again, but I don’t know how. And how can I leave everybody? All my friends are here and the team…”

“Nina, Roller will always be important part of all of us, but we are all also growing up.” Matteo started talking, “Simon and Pedro are trying to keep the band afloat, I have the label plus the studies I am doing, so do Jim, Yam, Delfi and Jazmin. Ambar is going to law school. Everyone will be going their separate ways, and I think you know that. If you want my opinion, I think you should do it. Taking risks can be worth it, especially if its for something you really want. Plus it seems like you have already made the decision.”

“I have?”

“You got a scholarship that basically enables you to go study basically in any school in the world, but the only thing you are thinking about is Oxford.”

Matteo was right, and Nina knew it. Maybe she had always known it. “But how do I tell Luna?”

“Tell me what?”

Nina turned around and saw that Luna was standing on the bottom of the staircase.

{}

Aaaaaa! It is honestly quite weird that I have been writing for the soy Luna fandom for about two years and have not yet written about how Gastina got back together. Well here it finally is, the Gastina Oxford story as we could say. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter

You all know what I think about the dynamic Matteo and Nina were never allowed to have, because you bet Matteo was never fan of Eric. He is the one who knows the other side of the whole mess and is able to help Nina through it.

Additional note: This will in no way shape or form be an accurate representation of what it is like to study at Oxford. I don't study there and there is only so much research you can do. Plus if I'd try to keep things 100 % accurate, the story would suffer, and the story itself is not all about Oxford or their studies. That being said, if you are a student at Oxford and reading this... I am so sorry.

#Soy Luna #soy luna fanfiction #Gastina #getting back together #because they are soulmates and nothing can keep them apart in the end #University fic #Through Gastón and Nina's years at Oxford #Other ships are included in the side: #Lutteo #Simbar #Pelfi #Red Rose blooms in the Oxford Garden

[fatuismooches]

muzzle anon here- thx for HURTING ME SO MUCH :D !!! that dottore fic is 'THE' dottore fic for me now, I will read it over and over and over again, it was an amazing experience. AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT

Since you wrote how the raven and sparrow's destinies are intertwined. I was thinking of a reincarnation (modern) au? Idk if you would be interested but I just keep thinking of doctor zandik and fragile reader

Kinda would be ironic if zandik is still experimenting on people to find a cure for reader

Or maybe this time they are actually healthy and happy together?

Oh maybe one day Zandik remembers his past life? How he lost reader? How they both ahem went to the other side haha like the whole "you are as beautiful as the day I lost you" thing

They can also met at an university (like how they met at akademiya) it is giving soulmate vibes but hear me out. When they first see each other, they instantly know each other, they don't know how but there is just this bittersweet feeling. Both are questioning why do they feel this desire to hug each other like they have been apart for so long

(I still cant over the death of the segments, Omega, and the end tho. Beta is my fav segment but ZANDY? GONE? NOO and then Omega also? Considering how reader told Dottore they still loved him, maybe Omega thought reader hated him while dying- Like in the end he thought about how he lost the love of reader. How much he messed up? Ouch .)

Actually wait segments didnt die (delulu talk)

Dottore: it was a prank.

Reader: wha-

Segments: *was just about to celebrate their birthday but now feel guilty they just caused a borderline panic attack*

YESSS GRRRR- Imagine if thousands and thousands of years have passed and Teyvat is unrecognizable from what it once was. Elemental energy, Visions, what makes Teyvat, Teyvat, are no more, and the world is completely modernized. Since Celestia is gone as well, the eternal punishment handed to you and Dottore is finished and you two can finally be reincarnated, and perhaps this time fate may give you a happy ending.

Modern Doctor Zandik and fragile reader... your illness is so mysterious that no medicine or treatment seems to be able to cure it, no one knows what's going on with you despite all the medical advances, you get sent from doctor to doctor, clinic to hospital in hopes of a miracle but nothing... But Dottore, he is widely renowned as one of the best doctors in Teyvat, despite his... attitude. Now obviously you could never dream of affording the money to see him but, it just so happens he hears of your case and takes an interest in you... Now, he never expected to get attached to anyone, much less his patient but, it seems that history repeats itself... (unethical doctor part 2)

Happy and healthy reader... and having an instant connection with Zandik!! Oh my gosh yes. Zandik would be the most confused and annoyed because he had never felt a connection with anyone his whole life, he's always been the one by himself. He tries to ignore it, ignore the building feeling in his chest, but as fate would have it, he finds himself bumping into you far more frequently than he'd like. You've had enough of his pretty man constantly invading your mind, so you approach him one day and it all begins from there. (I imagine if he ever dreamed of his past life with you, it'd teach him not to take you for granted. Especially if it was after a fight with you or something.)

I imagine Omega didn't regret his actions, but he still deeply lamented his relationship with you - he missed whenever you'd barge in and lavish him with your affection, how you'd freely rant to him, how you loved him. All were replaced with stone coldness. But perhaps, this is the price of selfishness, one that he had to pay.

😭😭 Segments pranking you... they feel quite guilty but at the same time, it's really nice to think you care about them so much.

#smooches talks #muzzle anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #IK IM ALWAYS LATE AT RESPONDING BUT THANK U FOR LOVING THE FIC MUZZLE ANON ILYSM #this ask was delicious and if theres one thing abt me im always going to give them a happy ending even if there's angst first #THEY DESERVE HAPPINESS

[booksndpoetry]

Letting Go

m.list

A Lee Felix Fanfic

A/N: Here it is, like I promised. Loads of thanks to the lovely @hyunverse for helping me proofread this, as well as for tolerating my rambling. This is my first real attempt at angst, so I'd love to know your thoughts about it. Happy reading!

WC: 4.5k words

Genre: Angst, fluff

Characters: Lee Felix, Female Reader, Tears, Bags of chips, Changbin, and the butt-hunters of Stray Kids.

Triggers/Warnings: Break up, Exes, Breakdowns, Heartbreak, and (Implications of) situational depression.

“When you love someone, you have to let them go. If they come back to you, they’re yours. If they don’t come back to you, they were never yours.” – Anonymous

You know he was lying just to protect you, but why did it hurt all the same? It was Felix you were talking about. It hurt because he’d never raised his voice while talking to you, even that time when you almost damaged his gaming console. Not even by an octave when he was upset or fazed.

 And now he was yelling. You couldn’t help it. Fat, angry teardrops fell from your eyes. You didn’t want to cry, but your heart loved him a little too much to go down without a fight.

 “Please don’t do this to me, to us. We can make it work. We will.” You were begging him at this point, but you couldn’t care less about it. You were willing to get on your knees if he would change his mind.

 But Felix just roughly swallowed, his words forgotten. He couldn’t do it anymore, he told himself. Not when you were crying, begging for him to stop. You were his, and he was yours, he knew he’d be damned if he hurt you willingly. But he had to, there was no other plausible option when the both of you would never ask of the other to do something so …accommodating, like leaving one’s career for the other person.

 You would never forgive yourself if he derailed his entire life, his passion just to be with you. And he knew. But it still hurt. That’s how pain is. It pricks you anew every time, even though you know what is it that’s going to happen. So, he bit the bullet and landed the final blow.

 “But I don’t want to make this work. I don’t want to lead you on with false hope when I have no intention of returning” To you. The unspoken words rang clear in the air.

 He whispered them like a forbidden curse, like a nightmare that cannot be controlled as it forcibly claws out sleep from the innocent hearts of children. You felt as though your entire being was doused in ice-cold water. That evening, you were anxious for the first time in years when he told you to meet him at an empty park, not at your home, to talk about something important.  That anxiety grew stronger with his words, about how it was right all along regarding the fact that he was leaving you. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that Felix, your soulmate, your one true person was leaving you because he had to move somewhere else where his work was entailed. It took a second to fully sink in, and when it did, you physically heard your heart shatter. Now you understand. Why he was so insistent on ending it? Because it was inevitable that it would end. He might have been the only person you envisioned yourself with in the future, but for him, you were only a memorable lover. Not easy to forget, but not impossible to move on from either. 

“Okay,” you said, voice weak. 

What else were you supposed to say? You’d promised to never come in the way of each other’s successes. You had to keep that promise, it was the only one that mattered now. Because it was the only promise still holding true, binding him and you when there was nothing else between you two. 

“Okay,” you say again, voice unwavering this time. “I’ll let you go now” and you walk away, just as thunder sounds in the distance and raindrops start pelting down on you harshly, like a thousand arrows aimed to pierce you apart. But there was no need for that. You were already in shreds. 

As you walk further, hands slightly shivering from the cold of the rain, you hear something faint. Felix was saying something. You turn around and he catches up to you, breathing heavily. 

“At least let me take you home. You’ll catch a cold.” Your heart, your stupid, traitorous heart actually stutters for a second even though it was him who wrecked it. 

Closing your eyes, you breathe in the scent of rain and him, for the last time.

 “No Felix,” you tell him and he winces at the use of his full name. It sounded so distant, and joyless. “If I’m letting you go, let me do it fully.”

 And as much as he would like to disagree and tell you to mull it over in the warmth of his car, he knows you need the space. So, he stays rooted on the spot, as you slowly turn around and go far away, until he can’t see you anymore. He stays where he is, to let you walk away from him. To let you think that you were leaving him and not the other way round, so you’d have a choice in this too. 

He was so thoughtful, even in this, and you wanted to collapse and cry on the spot, with your tears camouflaged in the rain. You wanted to stay that way for as long as possible and just melt away. But you couldn’t. Your pride, something small and cracked from everything but still solid, wouldn’t allow for it. 

No more damage, it said. But what’s left? You ask. Nothing. Everything’s gone, so why does it matter now? Why does anything matter now?

You don’t know how you make it back to your apartment. You don’t recall anything about your walk back home in the rain. 

Going in, you settle on the marble floor and stare at the clock. It’s late, you note and get up to ready yourself for bed. You weren’t going to think, you’d done enough of that. Your brain would hurt if you did any more of it. Mechanically, you change out of your soaked clothes and get in the shower. The view of an array of his shampoo bottles is what greets you. Resisting the urge to stay in there, you quickly wash up with warm water that’s soft on your skin. You relish the comfort it gives you, if only for a few seconds. You get out and change into your nightwear. Brushing your teeth and washing your face, you’re careful not to face the mirror.

You can’t do it. 

You make your bed and sink into it, but it feels too large, without him in it. No, you stop yourself. Dragging your thick comforter to the living room, you sit on the cold floor and lean against the wall. You can handle it, the cold numbing your feet. You weren’t sure if you could handle warmth, you’re afraid you’d succumb. And so, you sit there all night, crying, as you listen to your love go down with the rain. 

The next morning is unpleasant but bearable. Your eyes are bloodshot, both from crying and from the lack of sleep. That and you can’t feel your feet. Last night’s haze has evaporated, leaving the rational you of the new day to deal with the aftermath. 

You thank the heavens it is a Sunday. At least he broke your heart on a Saturday, to sober up and collect yourself for work on Monday. You bitterly chuckle. Growing up meant work was way more important than your broken heart because well, you were an adult and you had to suck it up and go on.

 Life had a way of proving you wrong when you thought it couldn’t get worse. You hated everything in that moment, the sun shining brightly like your world hadn’t been torn apart, the noises of the people who carried on with their lives, the voices in your head telling you to do the right thing. 

What was the right thing to do, when what you wanted didn’t exist? It was too much, and you let out a choked sob, tears running down your cheeks. Regulating your breathing, you were doing a lot of that, you calmed yourself down. 

Despite your current state, you try to pick yourself up and try to go about your day normally. But it was a Herculean piece of work when he had embedded himself so deeply in all of your routines too. 

When you both were together, you’d wake up and kiss him on the cheek if he’d slept over, or you’d send him a text wishing him a good morning. He’d then call you as you brushed your teeth and he did the same on his side. You’d talk about your plans for the day until you had to go get ready. You would have breakfast with him or send him a picture. Then, if he was feeling particularly energetic, he’d pick you up and drop you off at your workplace. When you came back home, he’d be there to welcome you, to the home in his embrace. How would you forego all of that, years of routine, and go about normally? You didn’t think you had the strength it required. 

I’ll be okay on my own, I always have been, you remind yourself. You decide to focus on one thing at a time. You brush your teeth, and after you’re done, you look at yourself in the mirror. The person staring back at you was someone new, someone unfamiliar. Someone you had wished to never meet. But you faced yourself. It was progress compared to yesterday. 

After washing your face, you turn your attention to your hair. Blowing out a breath, you remind yourself that punishing yourself wouldn’t help, in any way. Slowly, with patience you didn’t know you possessed, you began untangling the strands. Every time you feel like tugging at your scalp until you bled, you slow down and deliberately brush your hair with uncharacteristic gentleness. Breathing in and out, you finally managed to untangle all the knots and pulled your hair into a neat ponytail. What was next? Food. Right, you needed food. And so, you got to work. 

You work task by task until you feel pieces of you returning, making their way back to you. Some pieces are stubborn and don’t give in. You manage to put yourself back together, and you want to cry all over again. Not over him, but the fact that it took you an entire day to come back to yourself, after so long. You sober up and feel yourself craving snacks. You’ve always been responsible and very meticulous, thinking hard about each decision big or small. But then, you decide to be impulsive for once, to make yourself happy, no matter how small the happiness, and you grab your keys. 

Dressed in pyjamas and a puffer jacket to keep out the cold, you enter the convenience store and quickly pick up some snacks. As you go to the checkout line, you find Changbin, one of Felix’s best friends.

 “Hey you”, he greets you enthusiastically and you realize that Felix must not have told him about you two. You don’t know whether to feel grateful or saddened. 

“Hello Changbin” you greet him back, and he asks you about your choice of snacks. Soon, easy laughter is shared between the two of you and he tells you he needs to hurry home. 

“I have to go pack, but text me later, okay?” he tells you, eyes suddenly intently watching you, and you know he suspects something. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be with him, considering we’ll be taking off in such less time?” and you sigh, having expected it. “We parted ways,” you tell him, not having the courage enough to say that you two had broken up because saying those words felt real. 

Changbin understands, and he squeezes your arm. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I’m always here if you need me, okay?” he tells you and you feel like crying, again, because he’s being so nice to you. You assure him that you will contact him later and go back home. 

You let out a long breath, just the thought of starting all over tomorrow felt like hell. You give in to sleep, as a certain person keeps appearing to haunt you even in your dreams. 

The next morning you wake up and do the same thing, all over again. Days pass by, and your nightmares become less frequent and you get enough sleep. Some days, you can confidently look yourself in the mirror, other times you can’t even lift your head. Still, you get better each day, the ache in your chest fading to a numbness that won’t go away. 

Five months, that’s the amount of time it takes you to go an entire day without thinking about him. But him, oh he wasn’t even trying to go a day without thinking about you. He didn’t want to. 

From the moment you left him, taking his heart with you, he was destroyed. He thought the miles of distance between the two of you would make it easier to stay apart. He was wrong. Every day, he cracked a little, all his love that he had kept just for you, chipped until it was a semblance of what it was. His friends, especially Changbin urged him to try talking to you again, but he refused. 

“She hates me, hyung. I don’t think she wants to talk to me after everything.” Changbin could only watch helplessly as his two best friends struggled. 

-2 Months later-

You had become a workaholic, with nothing else other than work to engage you and keep you distracted, and it had paid off in ways. You got a promotion, to a position you could only dream about before, but you’d worked harder than ever to achieve it. However, one thing that came with the position was the numerous galas and parties that you had to attend. 

You initially thought it would be fun to dress up nicely and meet new people, but reality was quick to burst your bubble. You had to engage with all sorts of people, even some who didn’t work in your fields, which led to lots of awkward conversations, and random creeps whose personalities were not half as interesting as your neighbourhood’s resident cat. It was tiresome in ways that sometimes you had to take a plane just to attend a stupid party and socialize when all you wanted was to snuggle into your bed and not meet people for another week. 

Now, you had another party to attend, except it was being held in Korea, and you had to fly all the way in a single day after your work was finished. 

Stepping out into the airport, you quickly unlock your phone and text Changbin. He was the only one you could rely on, especially when you didn’t know the language all that well. He had kindly agreed to help you navigate your new surroundings. Except he didn’t tell you that he’d be bringing Felix along. The guy had hoped that an impromptu meet would lead to the two of you resolving your (still very much alive) feelings. What he didn’t expect though, was for the freckled guy to flee. 

Felix had no idea as to who Changbin wanted to pick up but reluctantly tagged along when the latter had asked him, persistently. His breath is knocked out of his lungs after seeing you for the first time in 7 months and 2 days. Was he counting? Yes. Did he care that it made him look like a lovesick idiot? Hell no. You hadn’t noticed him yet, busy animatedly explaining something to Changbin. The moment he sees you, his first instinct is to tug you into his arms and rest his face in the crook of your neck. But he stops himself. He couldn’t even greet you, he didn’t think he would survive seeing the hate in your eyes directed at him, so this time he runs.  

Changbin has a suspiciously bright smile aimed at you when he meets you at the airport. He grins so much, you stop even as he keeps walking forward, unaware that you’re no longer walking with him. When he realizes that you’re not walking with him, he turns around and scowls.

 “Hey, you can’t abandon me in my own country,” he says dramatically. You roll your eyes,” Try me.” You challenge and his scowl deepens. 

“Now, cut to the chase and tell me why you’re smiling”. 

Changbin swears that it’s nothing but after a minute of your intense staring, he breaks and smiles bashfully, “There’s someone I want you to meet-“ 

“I knew it! You had that shit-eating grin on your face and I suspected something. I’m not socializing with more than twenty people in the next two days, thank you very much” you quip before he can go on and on. 

He snorts at your comment. “Oh come on, he’s handsome.”

 “SO WHAT! So are you and you’re being extremely annoying. My eardrums need a break” you say, more to fluster him and get him to shut up rather than to stroke his ego and keep struggling to get out of his plans.

 “Nice try, but just for that I’ll buy you breakfast, to avenge myself” he says, eyes crinkling.

 “Can you avenge yourself all the time?”

 “Oh for heavens’ sake.” He mutters and you giggle.

 Even when you step out of the airport terminal, Changbin keeps looking everywhere, like he’s searching for someone. “Who is it?” you ask, and he sighs “No one.” 

You get to your hotel room, and relax, trying to ignore the jet lag and not fall asleep. You successfully manage to do so by busying yourself with more work and the evening rolls by, faster than expected. 

You pick out a casual ribbed, black dress and some earrings and call it a day. The company had provided a driver who took you to the venue. Unsurprisingly, it was held in a hotel whose hall was large enough to qualify as a ballroom. 

Stepping in, you think to yourself ‘Let’s get this over with’. Before you know it a familiar pair of muscled arms pulls you in and you laugh.

 “Hello to you too”. Changbin escorts you over to his team, whom you’ve met a couple of times. Except they’re still as unhinged, in the middle of a business party, talking about …whose butt was better to slap? You stop yourself there. 

Felix had come over, intending to speak to you, but his throat ran dry upon taking a glance at you. Holy fuck! You were breathtaking, and suddenly he had no memory of what he wanted to say to you. Seeing you laugh and make small talk with his team, his heart swelled, but you didn’t glance at him. At all. Not even once in passing. 

You on the other hand were hyperaware of his presence near you. Suddenly your skin was on fire, his gaze never leaving you. You knew he was watching you, and you let him. 

Felix realized that it was the first intimate moment you’d shared in months, just you and him, no one else existing then. He comes forward and puts his hand out for you, but just that second you turned around the corner to greet someone else.

 He’s hurt by your actions. There was no need for you to have done that. His mind reasons that you probably didn’t want to talk to him, but he just couldn’t stomach the hurt.

 For the second time when he sees you, Felix runs. But this time you catch him in the act. He discreetly excuses himself and gets to the entrance, but you follow closely behind him.  

Felix bolts through the set of wide oak doors at the entrance of the hall and doesn’t stop even when his lungs start burning. He keeps going until he hears a faint voice which sounds like …yours. And he stops.

 “Christ, I’m not athletic enough for this” you mumble trying to catch your breath, and he laughs.

 He full-on laughs until his head is thrown back and his hands clutch his stomach. He laughs so much tears stream down his face. 

“Hey! Don’t laugh at me, it’s difficult to run when you’ve eaten two bags of chips by yourself on the same day” you attempt to explain, and he understands your need to deflect with humour and he turns around. 

“Felix” you call him again, and despite you calling him by his full name, unlike last time there’s a trace of warmth in it. He clings to that warmth like it’s his lifeline as he wipes his face with his slender fingers. Your eyes follow the movement like nothing ever happened between you. 

Felix grins at you, his face transforming with the curve of his lips. Not finding any hate or hurt in your eyes, he visibly relaxes. After both of you are breathing normally, less than six steps between the two of you, he summons his courage and asks you the one question he’d been itching to ask you for months. 

“How have you been?”.

How have you been? You think back to the months you’d suffered and the predicament you’re in. 

“I’ve been well”

 He looks down at your reply, eyes shining with tears. “Wish I could say the same.”

 He smiles again, but it’s full of sadness. You want to kiss it away until he never feels the same way again. 

“But above everything, I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. I’m sorry it had to end that way, even if I didn’t want it to end. I’m so fucking sorry love.” He says, lovingly explaining to you even though he didn’t have to, trying to be gentle, and unknowing tears stream down your cheeks at the endearment. 

“You’ve done nothing wrong to me, which is why it makes it so much harder for me to accept the fact that we-we have-“ he stops, hand raised to his mouth, muffling his words as he cries harder.

 “You broke me to pieces without meaning to, because you were doing what’s right for yourself; by leaving someone who wasn’t right for you. By leaving me.” You smile sadly at his words.

 “You were the best, God, I thought I didn’t deserve you. You were it at one point, you know?” you say, wrapping your arms around yourself. 

“I don’t like how you used past tense there. It makes it hurt much more and makes things… worse. It makes things so much more real.” 

“Yeah well, it’s the truth,” you say bitterly and at that point, the clock strikes twelve and you’re reminded that you have to go back to your hotel, except you’re no Cinderella and he’s not your prince who can come after you.

 “This is it then, I guess. I’ll see you around Felix” you finish, as your heart sinks at the fact that he didn’t even protest at your words.

 Maybe it was all in your head, maybe you were assuming, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Your heart beats alarmingly fast at the last thought, feeling it slowly come true. Felix just raises a hand and waves you off in a soundless goodbye, a spring in his step, that you eye before you turn your back and go. Unbeknownst to you, he walks briskly until he reaches a corridor no longer visible to you and he runs, but this time, he’s running to you. 

You go back home and try as you might, you can’t sleep. The thoughts in your head, which you’d buried down months ago, surface and leave you anxious. You wake up hours before your alarm and finally conclude. You are still very much in love with the guy who once baked you brownies in the middle of the night because he hadn’t been able to in the morning. The same guy who had taken a piece of you and had never returned it. 

Fuck your pride, you were both adults, if you want to, you can try.

After an hour of rehearsal, you finally pick up your phone with shaking hands when there’s a knock on your door. You open it and immediately think ‘What a pleasant surprise’ because in front of you is a (once-again) sweaty Felix who looks like he’s been running.

 “Let me in, the hotel staff are chasing me.” You laugh and pull him inside, shutting the door. 

Felix properly looks you in the eye and he smiles, unhesitatingly saying the words he came to say to you.

 “I came here to ask you to give me another chance.” 

“But I’m not sure if you do, Felix. What changed?” you ask, your face neutral, even as butterflies go into a frenzy in your stomach.

 Once is a mistake, twice is a choice, and you’d be damned if you let him break your heart again. 

“Well, I want to make it work this time. Every time. You’re it for me, and I was reminded of it yesterday. I’ll fix it, all the parts I broke and I vow to never break them willingly again. If I do, punish me to spend all of eternity with you, grovelling for my mistake. Do we have a deal?” he spills in one breath, his eyes shining, the same eyes which brought twinkling lights into your life again. 

You don’t hesitate this time. “We do.” You whisper, careful not to disturb the tranquillity of that moment. And he comes closer.

 “Can I kiss you?” he asks, as he brings his thumb to rest on your lower lip, the cool metal of his rings, leaving you shivering. “Yes.” You whisper.

 And yet he keeps staring at you. “What? Are you not going to kiss me now? Have you forgotten?” you tease him lowly, and his answer leaves you breathless. 

“I am, but before that, I’d like to show myself everything I’ve been missing out on.”

 His lips meet yours and it is the Fourth of July again, as he kisses you like a man starved. He chases your lips, uncaring of all the breaths you had to take, chests touching until you can feel each other’s heartbeats. When you finally come up for air hands pushing against his chest, he brings you closer by your waist. 

“Hello,” he says like he’s seeing you for the first time again, both your foreheads touching. “Hi” you say, unable to hide your excitement.

 “I’m home, love.” he announces, “And I’m never going away again.” 

“Promise?” you hold out your little finger.

 “I promise” his digit curls around yours and you acknowledge how happy that sight leaves you.

“You’re right. I would” 

 “I’m happy if you are, but first let’s get breakfast.”

 “I’m swooning here and you dare to feel hungry?” 

“You can swoon over me all you want when we’re both stuffing ourselves with food.” You sigh, and he knows he’s got you. 

“That was the excuse I was going with if you were to shut your door on me. Food.” He confesses, eyes caressing your face tenderly.

 “…You really think that I, a perfectly moral person, would stoop that low just for food?”

 “Yeah”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© booksndpoetry 2024. All rights reserved. Please do not plagiarise, translate, repost or steal my works in any way. All idols used in this piece are just inspiration for characters. They do not reflect the real people in any way.

#+booksndpoetry #straykidsland #stray kids #skz felix #skz fanfic #felix x reader #skz imagines #skz #stayblr #stray kids lee yongbok #felix x y/n #writing #felix x you #romance one shots #fictional characters #skz felix fluff #fluff #angst

[stereopticons]

fic pride friday

Rules: Post your favourite line or passage from as many of your published works as you’d like. Let yourself feel proud of your creations! Tag as many people as you post snippets, so your fellow fic friends can be proud, too.

Thanks for the tags, @rmd-writes and @kiwiana-writes! I struggled with this because apparently I’ve never written anything in my life! So I’m sure once I post this, I’ll go oh damn I can’t believe I forgot x!

Tagging @hippolotamus @blackandwhiteandrose @rosedavid @indestructibleheart @mostlyinthemorning @filet-o-feelings @nontoxic-writes

Under the cut because it’s a lot of words

a long winter of indifference

The gap between their bodies is maybe six inches at most, but to David, it feels like miles. That little sliver of Egyptian cotton might as well be the Marianas Trench for as impossible as it feels to traverse, and every night they don’t cross it, it gets a little wider.

The crack on David’s heart gets a little wider, too.

David isn’t sure when it all started, can’t pinpoint a moment when it all began to fall apart. It was insidious; by the time he noticed something was wrong, the chasm between them had already formed.

If pressed, David would probably say it started with Clint’s heart attack around Thanksgiving. Though it was relatively minor—thankfully—the recovery was still long, and Patrick put a lot of miles on his old Toyota driving between Schitt’s Creek and West Canthor. David tried his best to be supportive, but the stress of keeping the store running while Patrick was away, of sleeping alone more nights than not, of constantly worrying about the Brewers—all of them—was caustic and ate away at the soft parts of him. The strain caused Patrick to shut down and to shut David out.

By the time Patrick was able to return to their lives, the holiday rush was in full swing. Neither of them had the time or energy to deal with anything that wasn’t the store, let alone the ever expanding rift between them.

The resulting infinitesimal shift in their marriage grew and swelled with each little stressor—the anemic sales throughout December putting a strain on their savings, the damage the cottage sustained in an early January snowstorm, all the little swipes and jabs they’ve taken at each other in the intervening months—and now David is staring at the rigid line of his husband’s back, afraid that something’s been irreparably damaged.

It’s been a long time since things felt this hopeless.

tangle and stretch

Patrick is thirty-two years old when David asks him if he believes in soulmates, and this time, he’s prepared.

“Yes,” he answers without hesitation.

David turns to stare at him. “You do?”

“You seem surprised.”

“Well…yeah,” David replies, still staring at him with his mouth hanging open. “I mean, you are the numbers guy.”

“Ouch, David,” Patrick teases. David rolls his eyes. “Do you want to know why I believe in soulmates?” David looks hesitant, his still-ever-present fear that the other shoe is going to drop evident on his face. Patrick takes his hand gently. “I didn’t used to. But when I was ten, I saw a boy on the cover of a magazine.”

Patrick tells him about the magazine, about the Christmas cards, about watching A Little Bit Alexis. About losing him and finding him again years later at a moment that he sorely needed him. By the end, they’re both in tears.

“That’s why I believe in soulmates, David,” Patrick says, gingerly wiping a tear from David’s cheek with his thumb. “Because how else can I explain how I ended up here?”

your secret’s safe with me

Of all the Big Relationship Moments in all those rom-coms David made her watch, Stevie never expected that “picking your lover up at the airport after a long time apart” would be a thing that she’s into. There’s nothing romantic or sexy about airports in general; in fact, airports are probably the exact opposite of everything she finds attractive. But despite all of that, there’s butterflies in her stomach and a tingling at the base of her spine when she sees Ruth appear at the top of the escalator leading down to baggage claim. It only intensifies when Ruth spots her and breaks into a wide grin.

They don’t leap into each other’s arms, but it’s a close thing.

“Hi,” Ruth murmurs, her breath ghosting across Stevie’s neck as Ruth pulls her into a hug. Stevie inhales deeply, wrapping herself in the scent of Ruth–a strangely intoxicating mix of her fancy perfume and the scent of paper and ink. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Stevie sighs, sinking into the embrace. She’s never been one for public displays of affection outside of making out in bars, but it’s been too long. She leans up and presses a kiss to Ruth’s soft lips, relishing the taste of her mango lip balm and the coffee she must have had on the plane. It’s a relatively chaste and quick kiss because, well, airports. But it still kindles a small fire low in Stevie’s belly, one that she hopes they’ll have plenty of time to tend to later.

let my love fix you up

He’s not able to finish the sentence but he doesn’t need to. Patrick already knows. He can’t say he hasn’t had the same feelings bubble up inside him, like when the store was robbed or when David was in a car accident last winter. It’s the price of loving someone, he supposes, the crushing fear of losing them.

with a hand on your side of the bed

Last night was a revelation, in more ways than one. Of course it was wonderful to have the privacy to finally connect, and he’s certainly keen to repeat the experience, preferably as soon as possible. But he was surprised to realize how nice it was just to be able to fall asleep together, and even nicer to wake to find Patrick still there. He hadn’t quite dared to hope for it—there were too many mornings back in his old life that he woke up alone and lonely in a bed far too big for one. But Patrick stayed. And despite the morning breath and the under-eye bags and whatever crime his hair was committing, Patrick still brushed a curl off his forehead and kissed him and told him he was beautiful.

And how, after all of that, is David expected to go back to sleeping alone?

Sighing again, he flips over on his side and picks up his phone. The glow of the screen lights up the room and he squints at it as his eyes adjust. He wants to text Patrick, but he’s likely already asleep. And anyway, what would he say? It seems too early in the relationship to say sleeping in your arms ruined me for ever being able to sleep without you, no matter how true it might be. (Actually, the truth of it scares David more than a little. It’s too soon to think like this, in always and forever but he can’t help it.) He could just say I miss you, because that’s just as true, but he doesn’t want to come across as too needy. They’re already past the point in a relationship when people usually get tired of him, so he feels like he’s living on borrowed time.

His phone vibrates in his hand and a notification from Patrick pops up.

Can’t sleep. Miss you. Thinking about last night.

Before he types out a response, David hides his smile behind his hand, even though there’s no one around to see it.

coming home to you

Stevie thought that if she ever got the chance, she’d put the town in her rearview mirror and never look back, but the chances did come, from David first, then from Mr. Rose, and both times she chose to stay. Somewhere along the line, sometime between when the Roses crash landed in her life and when they left again (some of them, anyway), the town grew on her.

It’s been years now, but every time they pull into the cottage’s driveway after she’s been away, she thinks back to that afternoon when she and David sat on the hood of her car and she told him he’d won. It’s been years now, but it’s still true. And maybe she won a little bit, too.

the lie between your teeth

David spent years meticulously building up walls, brick by brick, protecting the already charred exterior of his marshmallow heart. It only took Patrick a few minutes to find the tiniest chink in David’s armor, a few days to pull down the highest walls, flaying him bare in a way that so few people have been able to.

After that, David just gets angry. Angry at Patrick, angry at his parents for landing them in this situation, angry at Uncle Eli for the same, angry at everyone, but worst of all, he’s angry at himself. He should have had better self-preservation instincts than this, should have known that landing in a ridiculously-named tiny town in rural Ontario wasn’t going to fundamentally change the course of his relationships.

#schitt's creek #david rose #patrick brewer #stevie budd #tag games

[spacexseven]

ok ok ok ok ok speedrunning some characters + soulmate au

dazai - secretly really taken with the idea of having a soulmate. hes a hopeless romantic at heart so he'd be lying if he said he'd never kept himself up all night fantasizing about it, especially during the mafia days when the loneliness would get too much to bear. I could see dazai faking a soulmate mark for sure if he didn't already have one and had someone mind. if he did have one, he'd be very very VERY interested in tracking them down. if his soulmate is (understandably) a little put off by being saddled to dazai for the rest of their life and tries to hide it, they can try but he WILL find out eventually. and he'll start doing his best to prove that theyre Meant To Be which is. not great. imagine dazai being like. subordinate darling level mean to his soulmate for a while before finding out. devastating.

chuuya - 10000% gonna be mean to them Knowing they're his soulmate, thinks the idea is beneath him. this goes double for a non-mafia darling or a very low ranking mafia darling. I just don't think chuuya would find the idea of the person you're supposed to be with being chosen preemptively as romantic as dazai would, and would have a lot of criticisms of this so called "soulmate" that he WILL express aloud. ends up fucking himself over cuz by the time he comes around they pretty much want nothing to do with him. oops. also could see him with the Dating Someone Who Finds Their Soulmate scenario. Wouldnt Take This Well.

this is all I got so far if I have more will come back

- 🩹

the thoughts i have right now huhuhu actually uhh this isn't very yandere. apart from the stalking mentions so i'm sorry about that

if dazai doesn't have a soulmate he'd be devastated. he tries telling himself that this way it'd mean if he does find someone they would love him for him and not because they have to—the problem with this idea, though, is that he considers himself pretty unloveable. i can totally see him faking a soulmate mark to make it look like there's someone out there, but inside he's crushed by truth. if he does have one? he'll do anything to find them. (if it's like a 'timer' soulmate mark, he can't do much except practice his future interactions with you. it's a possibility that you might not like dazai for who he is, so fearing the worst, he puts on a facade that's the furthest from his true personality. he tries so hard to be who you look for in a soulmate, but you can probably tell he's not being entirely honest. of course, if you encourage him to be honest with you, and assure him that you won't hate him, you better be ready to make good on your word. he won't be thrilled to know you're terrified of him after knowing that he used to be in the pm or you find his constant possessiveness unbearable.

i think because of chuuya's complicated origins, he might have conflicting thoughts about a soulmate mark. just to keep things simple i'll go on the "dating someone who finds their actual soulmate" route. chuuya's never actually discussed the topic of soulmates with you. since you were dating him, he was under the impression that you didn't have one, or didn't care for one. regardless, he would be far from thrilled when you come across your actual soulmate. he's reminded that he's, apparently, not what fate considers your perfect half. while chuuya himself doesn't care about decided fate, you might not feel the same, maybe wanting to entertain this new soulmate of yours, and it pisses him off. even if you just want to talk to them, out of curiosity, he wouldn't allow for it. chuuya's liked you for you, and this person is just interested in you because of some so-called destiny. wasn't it obvious, that he obviously loved you more?

#yandere bsd #yandere bsd x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai osamu #yandere dazai #yandere chuuya x reader #yandere chuuya #yandere chuuya nakahara #bsd x reader #bsd

[areislol]

two worlds apart

ft— anyone

warning — mentions of character death, angst, pretty much self indulgent lmao

a/n— i just felt angsty today :) also i wrote this like you aren't in teyvat? you're you (obv) in this universe and they're just your comfort character. ik shifting is a thing so this is for my #icannotshiftforthelifeofme girlies. listened to ykwim when writing this as well.

wordcount. 683

sometimes you wish you were dead. it sounds blunt and quite, dramatic, yes. but not really when you remember that reincarnation may or may not be a real thing.

we have all heard of the word "soulmates". the idea of soulmates has been present in various traditions for centuries. the "concept" suggests that there is a special connection between two individuals that goes beyond physical attraction and emotional compatibility.

it is believed that these two people are connected by an invisible thread or string that can never be broken, no matter the distance or time. this thread binds them together, and their souls recognize each other even before they meet.

it is said that when soulmates find each other, they experience a sense of completion and fulfillment that they cannot find elsewhere. love itself is a powerful force that can bring people together, even when they are from different worlds. when two individuals are soulmates, their love transcends time and space.

now, death is a natural part of life, and it is something that everyone will experience at some point. while death is often associated with sadness and loss, while some people believe that it can also be a time of reunion with loved ones or, finally being with someone they have loved for so long in another world.

for those who believe in reincarnation, death is not the end, but rather a new beginning. it is an opportunity for the soul to move on to a new life and continue its journey. for some, the idea of being reunited with their soulmate after death brings comfort and solace.

they believe that when they die, they will be able to join their lover/comfort character from another world and be much happier than they ever were in this world. this gives them hope and a reason to keep going, even when times are tough.

for some, some may think it is absurd to even think about death in this way. you really want to die/are waiting for your death just because you want to be happier with your comfort character? how.. weird.

the heart is a mysterious thing, and sometimes it leads us down paths that we never thought possible. loving someone from another world can be a lonely road to travel, but it can also be one filled with wonder and amazement. our hearts may ache for this person that we cannot touch or hold, but the love we feel for them can give us a sense of purpose.

the pain of loving someone who is not real can be overwhelming, it really can. the thought of never being able to hold them or feel their warmth can be unbearable.

but in times of sorrow, the comfort and solace you find in loving them can be the only thing that gets you through. it's easy to dismiss this kind of love as make-believe, but it's not.

the heart doesn't discriminate and doesn't see boundaries at all. even though they are not real, the love you feel for them is. it's a feeling that is deep and real and can bring joy to your life.

just how long have you been yearning to feel their touch, to know what their kisses feel like, to see them face to face? a long, long time. and you know that. how many times have you cried into your pillow, just because you love them so much and that they aren't real?

sometimes the pain in your heart can become unbearable. The emptiness and the loneliness can consume you entirely, leaving you with nothing but despair. it's in those moments that you start to wonder if death would be a better alternative.

you imagine that if you passed away, you could be reunited with your lover from another world, a place where love is eternal and pure. you know that in that world, you would find comfort and solace, and your heart would finally be at peace.

because even though you two are two worlds apart, the love you hold for each other goes beyond measure.

WHAT IS UP W ME AND ANGST NOWADAYS?!??!

#i hate myself #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact angst #genshin angst #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader #venti x reader #cyno x reader #kaveh x reader #baizhu x reader #ah goodnight everybody #crying myself to sleep