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archirdarchernar · 4 months

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Milgram: Deep Cover Thoughts (Spoilers)

(some of the post written a few hours after, mainly bc deep cover released in between 2 of my mocks)

(all of this is personal opinion and interpretations, take this with a grain of salt or pepper or your choice of powdery food flavouring)

AHJDHR JUST FINISHED WATCHING DEEP COVER

its so good i thoroughly applaud the animators for their work. the colours and the design and ajdhkdhrr

i love staring at how they draw eyes like wtf??? that animation budget must be really high like the transformation and the BLOOD-

okay onto more lore-y thoughts:

(this part is me rambling at my screen trying to form a coherent theory of what happened, there are a lot of random stray thoughts here)

kotoko seems to be the 'punish > solve the systemic issue' type of person. we see that in the way she interacts with the brown-haired girl that she saved. when the girl grabbed onto her we see her conflicted eyes. to me it seemed partially out of desperation??(could just be the adrenaline high of her murder, we also see her sweaty so theres that. murder takes a lot of energy guys), or like she doesnt know what to do with herself. like she wants to push the girl away but felt like she could not (maybe knew that if she pushed her away she might harm the girl even more psychologically...). after that we see her barely acknowledging the brown haired girl in the park, seemingly more interested in the article on her phone than the girl she saved...

also, i found a post where someone translated the article!

to paraphrase, the son of a newspaper company's CEO was found dead (shocker, probably Kotoko's victim). The article goes on to talk about how a female university student had killed him in self defence due to getting into a scuffle as she caught him kidnapping a minor (so. definitely kotoko. probably). The minor agreed with the student that it was self-defence. The company's CEO then came out with an independent report all the injuries that they found on his son, which indicated that more than proportional violence was used, and then announced that the victim retracted her statement. The article then mentions all the rumors that exist about this murder...

interesting.

then that scene. that face of absolute fear on the girl and the uncaring apathy on kotoko's face. we clearly see the young girl trying to wear the cap, we see her basically modelling herself after kotoko. who can blame her? that's the person who saved her from... a life of suffering, probably. So to see kotoko ignoring her like that would absolutely destroy her.

so is kotoko just that heartless? no. or at least, i don't think so. remember the article? 'the victim retracted her statement'. this can happen for many reasons, such as being coerced, forced, bribed, etc. no matter why she did it, this would cast a lot of questions to the credibility of this case. maybe kotoko was legit mad? like 'if you don't want to be saved, i can't save you'. or she thought distancing herself from the victim would be the best thing to do, cuz otherwise people would argue that the two of them conspired together to murder a person and pass it off as a 'heroic deed'. by distancing herself, more of the 'blame' if it ever comes would fall on her. maybe she thought this was the best course of action in this scenario, so at least the girl would seem less 'co-conspirator' and more 'young child who was coerced'. either way, even without counting kotoko's bloodlust in the background, this is a fucked situation.

and yes, the prison seems to be composed of 5 direct and 5 indirect killers, kotoko being an indirect one. we know that she has actually, physically killed a person. the fact that she's in the prison for an indirect murder means that she didn't even consider that guy as a person (lol) or a being worth caring about.

so my running theory of what happened is:

(this part is just consolidation of the theory, above is rambling)

kotoko went after a the newspaper CEO's son, and found him kidnapping the child in that warehouse. then, she beat him up and possibly killed him with excessive force (i.e. the force she used was 'not proportional to the violence about to be inflicted onto her' or smth, im paraphrasing here but that's the gist. and i really mean 'possibly', ill elaborate later). after that, she reported the case to... probably the police? and claimed in court that she found CEO's son kidnapping a minor, then the interaction got violent and she had no choice but to kill him, with the help of the child's testimony. after that, she was released with no charges. (assuming that when the translation says 'the verdict...' it means that the trial has concluded, the judging body(japan doesn't have a jury. for serious criminal cases, they have a 'saiban-in'. look it up for more info abt this) has deemed kotoko free of all charges or smth, and now she walks free.)

but after THAT, the CEO got an independent investigation that reported those injuries, and they believe them to be inflicted not in self-defence but with intent to harm. this is where the idea that she might have killed him to sate her bloodlust comes from. while i do agree on some aspects, remember this is an 'independent investigation', and this is a CEO whose money speaks. also, what you're telling me is that the forensics who looked into the body did not believe the wounds were due to 'excessive force' (bc if that was the case the trial should have gone very very differently), but the group that you independently hired did. i mean, a little bit suspect about the level of validity of that claim, don't you think? (this is assuming that everyone in the trial was competent at their job and no foul play was present. if not, ignore this section.)

the CEO also claimed that the child retracted her testimony (that would be perjury, since that would be admitting that you were lying to the court. japan seems to have laws against perjury, but im not very sure how enforceable it really is, or if people actually get charged with it.). this casts doubt on the verdict and both kotoko's and the victim's credibility in the eyes of the public, you know how the public is. and in a case like this, where the one trying to get someone in jail is someone with money and influence to do private investigations and press conferences, the impact it can have on the life of the other party can get insanely negative. they could have their lives absolutely ruined by this, being publicly shamed this way, while the CEO walks away looking like a caring father 'just looking to avenge his child'. i think the following are plausible:

1st case scenario: im not a legal expert, so REALLY don't blindly believe this, but if this means the child is legally retracting her testimony that she made in front of the court, during a trial, this would require the child to reach out to the law enforcement entities to get it passed, and that might warrant a re-trial of the original trial. in other words, in this scenario kotoko is seriously fucked (probably). so kotoko avoiding the child and/or being pissed is.. personally i think there are better ways to handle this situation, one of which is get yourself a damn good lawyer and hope for the best, kotoko- but not unordinary.

2nd case scenario(more likely in my personal opinion): of course, there's always the case that all this is made up. in which case, kotoko would still have a reason to avoid the child, in that it's the most logical course of action to avoid unnecessary harm to the child. if she acts friendly to the child in public, there's a chance that the child will be seen as a co-conspirator to the 'murder'. also since its a guy with money who's speaking out, it's likely that public opinion would wholy turn against her. and the child, who helped defend kotoko in court, well... even more harrassment, probably. death threats, likely.

in both cases, her and the child would probably receive harrassment, which i think is a possible motive for the child getting killed. (i'm assuming that the child was the one who kotoko feels like she's killed, because she was put in milgram for indirect murder to complete the 5:5 ratio)

And then she becomes a furry.

yay? well, i think the wolf is supposed to be a symbolic of the monster that she now sees herself as. remember, if the version of events i described above is true then she probably faced a lot of social isolation. she has to distance herself from the victim that she helped and got close(? somewhat attached? like cmon she may be distracted with the very important life changing article but she doesn't outright ignore her, and that the chlid showed up to meet her implies that the child had an expectation that kotoko would be accepting of her company... right?) to, and many of her peers probably isolated themselves away from her (being a victim of a crime in japan can often be just as hard on a person's social life as being the perpetrator of said crime, so im not surprised if she was socially isolated by others AND herself). the lack of social support is the start of a mental downward spiral.

also, she keeps referring to herself as a tool and that she needs a next 'target'. so somewhere along the line, she stopped viewing herself as a person but merely a tool to enact justice with. because that's all she is now, she's caused the death of someone she swore to protect, the emotions are too overwhelming, please just give me something - anything - else to focus on; she's a monster, but if that's the case then so be it, she will be a monster with a purpose: eliminating the dregs of society, because that way at least she's of some use to society, otherwise-

otherwise, she's just a regular old monster.

#personal opinion #arc rubbing their last 2 brain cells together to form a thought #milgram #yuzuriha kotoko #milgram theory #?#kotoko yuzuriha #milgram project #deep cover spoilers #deep cover #inner dramatic writing kid got unleashed at the end #oops sorry #also the furry part gave me bna vibes #u know that furry show trigger studios made #on netflix #yea that one #lol

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finn-m-corvex · 7 months

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Sounding Sea

Annabel Lee - Edgar Allan Poe

Words: 1.8k

TWs: depression, heavy angst, self-punishment, suicidal thoughts, Jay is not in a good place in this everybody

Summary: uhhhh basically Jay angst paired with one of my favorite Poe poems and I'm really proud of it.

Gonna go ahead and tag @giftofjay because you said you would really enjoy reading something like this so this is for you! Consider it a gift for being awesome! Sorry it's not happier lol

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;

It hadn't really been that long, and Jay knew it. Yet with every day that passed it felt like he aged by ten years. He had only been at the lighthouse for a week, and yet his bones ached as if he had run a marathon nonstop, creaking and cracking with every swell of the insufferable tide outside. Every day he would force himself to walk up and down the wooden stairs in an endless chain of filling a bucket with saltwater, only to dump it back out over the lip of the opening. Self-loathing would fill him whenever the bucket was topped by the waves; he tried in vain to pretend that it went away once he was finished pouring it back out. His body begged him for a break, a reprieve in its arduous task, but Jay never gave in.

No punishment would ever be enough for the weight of his sin: letting her go.

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

How could he have been so foolish? So selfish? Of course Nya would want something more for herself than to be a hapless trophy wife on display. He had acted so childishly, and for what? Because she wanted to be her own person? What kind of thing was that to throw a temper tantrum over? That's all that he was, a loud and annoying child, and he had been too arrogant to accept it.

Nadakhan had called him a child.

The bucket was almost tossed over the side as Jay aggressively shook the water out. The bitterness never went away, no matter how many times he emptied the stupid, slimy pail.

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

That love burned in his chest so brightly that it would've scorched even Kai's fire. Jay knew that if he could carry it in his hands they would burn instantly, and still he would hold onto it for the rest of his life. Even then, the Departed Realm would be hard-pressed to try and take it from him as he moved into the afterlife. He knew that Nya wouldn't be there to greet him.

Love was never enough, was it?

I and my Annabel Lee—

With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven

Coveted her and me.

And humanity despised what they knew they couldn't have. Jealousy was a disease; one that had gotten her killed the first time, and it was all his fault.

The bucket tipped over again.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee;

He remembered what it was like falling through the portal, reaching up to grab her hand in a fruitless attempt to pull her through. She smiled at him, for what he thought might be one last time, deliberately putting herself out of his reach.

The wind had whooshed past his ears, whistling its song of sorrow and blame as he tumbled farther and farther down. Jay knew that Nya wouldn't last long against all of those pirates, and he knew that the despair would hurt more than any broken bones from the fall he would have when he finally came out on the other side.

Why was it always him?

So that her highborn kinsmen came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea.

Operation: Land Ho had somehow been the most successful and disastrous thing he had ever pulled off in his life. As a rescue mission for Nya it had gone terribly awry before they had even left the ground, but at least he had managed to get his brothers and master back in one piece.

They weren't enough. He wasn't enough.

Everywhere he had looked things were falling, hurtling towards his home. The one he was supposed to protect with his life. And yet all he could think of was her, shielding her fragile body from the debris as it rained down around them, and Jay was sure that they would crash and burn in a fiery comet. The church where the djinn and Nya had been wed lay in ruins only a few hundred yards behind him, and yet the shadow of its remains loomed over Jay, almost as if reminded him that its parts may very well build their tomb when the island finally hit the ground.

The seawater was cold as it sloshed around his bare ankles, and yet he was too numb to start shivering. He bent over for the umpteenth time that day, tilting the bucket and letting it completely fill before beginning the large trek up the stairs. His back twinged in protest, but Jay ignored it like he had ignored most things since he had arrived here.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,

Went envying her and me—

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

It was the only explanation he could think of for why destiny still had it out for him, for them, even after they had done the impossible. The wish was supposed to fix it, fix everything, fix him.

And it had, until everything fell apart.

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

None of them could've prepared for Wojira and Kalmaar. They had been blindsided every step of the way, fumbled every advantage they had gained, and Jay could only watch helplessly as Nya floundered for some semblance of control in the situation.

He had worked his hardest to be there for her, to take some of the burden off of her shoulders. And it wasn't enough.

Why wasn't he ever enough?

Another bucket of water poured down the side. It splashed against the gray brick of the walls, turning it to a dark Marengo from its original slate. Jay couldn't stop himself from smashing the bucket against the wall with a scream, throwing it out into the open sea when it did nothing more than crack.

It floated to the surface but started to fill with water, the fluid rushing in through the crack he had given it, and Jay watched as the bucket sank beneath the waves.

Jay wanted to sink with it.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we—

Of many far wiser than we—

There was a reason he kept spare buckets lined up against the other wall, already reaching for another to continue his penance. The stone was fractured from where Jay had slammed the metal, next to three other small gaps formed by the same action. Stepping down the stairs, ignoring the jolts his heavy footfalls sent up his legs, Jay finally let his mind wander away from his never-ending torment. He had heard a story once from Misako about a man forever doomed to push a boulder up a hill, only for it to fall back down every time.

Was his punishment any better than the man's because he wasn't bound to it? Or was he worse off because he never chose to stop?

Even love couldn't overcome every obstacle, it seemed.

And neither the angels in Heaven above

Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

Nya's face stared at him from the canvas as he made his final journey for the day, dumping the last load of seawater onto the rocks below. The sun had sunk behind the horizon hours ago, Jay navigating the way through the moonlight alone, as if he hadn't already memorized the route like the back of his hand.

Or hers.

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

He put his bucket down next to the still-made bed. He hadn't spent a single night in it. The moonlight washed over him as he lifted his face to the sky, taking a deep breath of the salty air before descending down the trapdoor. All of the light disappeared, and Jay made his way in near-complete darkness. His ninja sense told him just how close the edge was, how close he was to slipping and falling.

A small part of him whispered about what it might feel like, to slip and fall and crack his head open on the stone floor below; a large texture difference from the splintering wood under his bare feet. Maybe then he wouldn't dream of her anymore.

But Jay knew he would never let her go, no matter how many pieces he was in.

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

Sometimes he swore that the ocean stared back at him whenever he was out here. Perhaps it was Nya watching him from afar, curious about the ragged man who insisted on staying outside and sleeping on the shore when he had a perfectly good and warm bed inside.

Jay laid down on the beach, feeling the sand make its way into his hair and every crevice of his clothing. It wasn't long before he felt the water wash over him, chilling him to the bone, and yet he couldn't bring himself to move.

Part of him wanted to go out farther, far enough to where he would be gasping for air with every wave that passed over his head.

Reaching out with a shaking hand, he scooped up some of the wet sand, bringing it closer to himself in a small pile. The water he had tried to hold on his first day of being here had fallen through his fingers, bringing tears to his eyes, but the sand had enough integrity to stay together long enough for the liquid to soak his hands.

And Jay cried as the waves washed away the pile, his sobs shaking his body as he gathered more of the material in a futile attempt to keep Nya close to him. No one was around to hear him scream in anguish every time the tide would surge forward and tear her away from him, and no matter how much Jay curled his body around the sand to protect it-

The ocean washed it away every time.

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,

In her sepulchre there by the sea—

In her tomb by the sounding sea.

#ninjago #ninjago jay #finn's writing #tara tag #ninjago fanfiction #edgar allan poe #jay walker #jay ninjago #lego ninjago #the beforetimes

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piganatur · 1 year

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the eighth sense ep9-10

ok so this is very chaotic and long so everyone, brace yourself lol

After that gut-wrenching ending of ep8 we’re back in the therapist's office’s deep, underwater world. I love that there’s hardly any sound (and absolutely no music) whenever we’re in that office, it’s so silent as if it’s underwater, all is still. The sentence that sets Jaewon into motion, however, is his therapist telling him he’s selfish. That line literally pushes Jaewon not only to turn and face his therapist but to stand up and ‘protect’ himself against the statement. The only thing that can shake Jaewon is Jihyun (or the mere mention of him). He wants to protect Jihyun, but his therapist says he’s selfish for deciding things alone, for not considering Jihyun’s feelings, that’s basically the same as others hurting Jihyun. It’s an accusation of See? What you’re doing is what you want to protect him from

There are these lines that make me pause for a moment, giving me the urge to grip something bc 😩 Like Jaewon reasoning how he approached Jihyun first, what he literally says is ‘bc I reached my hands out to him first’ and I’m a weak bitch whenever it comes to hands (the mere mention of hands and I’m on the floor~) let it be holding, grabbing, not letting go of or reaching out and all their connotations so I’m just 😭😭😭😭😭 And now I’m thinking about Jaewon’s inability to see that he reached out first but Jihyun has been reaching out over and over again and maybe that only reminded him of this very first act, the one that, sometimes, he probably wished never even happened but what eventually saved him? (also, *vague hand gestures* it's a mirroring action-reaction kinda thing and I’m just *clenches fist*)

Not gonna lie, Jihyun scared me for a moment, being so inside his head and pondering so hard while walking with Joonpyo (like Jaewon’s vacant state got passed onto him BUT that’s another parallel so am I complaining? ofc NOT) friggin parallels and mirror conversations 😬😬😬 I’m just a shell of a person filled to the brim with t8s parallels now (should I make a post about all the parallels in all the episodes?? should I spiral into absolutely insane territory???)

As a viewer, it’s interesting to see Jihyun worry and actually waver (on a surface level) because of what Eunji told him (that Jaewon won’t even mention nor talk about him, like Jaewon talks about ANYTHING with Eunji… wow okay I’m sorry but this is too funny I share more connection with a roadside snail than these two did in the rekindled version of their relationship no.2) That scene shows just how inexperienced and young Jihyun is while simultaneously telling about his character growth and his response to fear (much like his final conversation with Jaewon about being afraid and maybe I’ll write an overall analysis about that, about overcoming fear in t8s but now it’s still just a scattered mess inside my head and I’m really not in any state to try and get into Jaewon’s head anytime in the near future so….)

I love LOVE the club room discussion: ◦ first Jihyun wordlessly comforting Jaewon, not letting go of his hand, ◦ then shouldering all the blame so the surfing club can get re-approved, ready to give up something if that means, in turn, giving something to Jaewon, ◦ and then Yoonwon showing vulnerability – these are the scenes that make t8s so special to me… the buildup in this scene, the little things following each other that make Jaewon snap out of his stoic state to comfort a friend because he is a caring person and Yoonwon is his friend… these particles build on each other to push Jaewon to react, to move and do something (much like Jihyun finding - w/ the help of Joonpyo - Jaewon’s pictures and realising that Jaewon did not give up on photography and that fact propelling him to support Jaewon’s dream and giving him another camera?) It’s all action and reaction, some clear and loud, some like these snippets ready to get connected to reveal their final meaning

And I love that when Jihyun gifted the new camera the backdrop of that scene is a cluttered rock wall, all these one-of-a-kind entities of different sizes and forms backing them up from behind, when Jaewon is still at the point where he tries to piece his life together.

And Jihyun waits for him at a boulder that’s separate from the rest, where Jaewon joins him and then Jihyun gives him something precious and leaves. Jaewon stays there, because after everything that went down, much like Jihyun, that singular boulder is a certain and unshakable place. And he accepts what Jihyun gave him.

So when Eunji kisses him, Jaewon sees with his own eyes that what he does is actively hurting Jihyun because finally FINALLY he looks at Jihyun and what he sees is the pain he inflicted. It dawns on him, in that moment, that his actions are causing Jihyun harm, and that’s exactly what he wanted to protect Jihyun from. So he does what his therapist said and works on himself first (and I love how the creators play with/and portray time without blatantly stating how much of it passes)

Also, Eunji pls sit down and stop saying Jaewon is back in his right mind. He has changed clothes like once in the past 2 weeks ffs… Oh, but Jaewon throwing that same line back to her face? I apologise, I wasn’t in my right mind yoooooooooooooooooo

When Jaewon said We’re done I was already cackling. Followed by the you’ve worked hard ...let’s agree that he was NOT talking about their assignment shdhgfhdhg. Another perfect establishing line for the following scene (also, Jaewon served in the navy?? he is i n s a n e)

But back to Jaewon's road to realisation…Sajangnim is so real and I appreciate her every second I see her (also, like, everyone can be an oppa as long as they’re handsome😉). She literally beats some sense into Jaewon lol. It wouldn’t be the same if someone didn’t get boinked on the head with a spoon, that’s the sk experience~~~

The fact that both Jihyun and Jaewon were heavily led in the direction of finding answers by the advice of WOMEN *can I get an AMEN?* yes, I’m back at my women portrayed in t8s shit again

lmao I’m sorry but that Conan Gray song doesn’t even play for 0.3 seconds and Jihyun is already like yo Joonpyo do u know this song it’s so nice? hahaha but seriously,

I really like that Jaewon walks to Jihyun because walking with purpose is soooo powerful. He makes his way steadily and with determination towards happiness. He doesn't need to run, there is no need for that rush of urgency bc we always see these flashy and big actions portrayed as the picture of ultimate declaration (of yearning/wanting/striving for a better existence) when in reality, the quiet and sure things are just as valid, and often filled with more power.

The first time Jaewon unconsciously wandered (through roads he previously took w/ Jihyun) back to the samgyeopsal restaurant it made him smile, his heart led him there. This time however, he makes that choice consciously, he chooses to go to Jihyun and his every step is filled with that decision and with dedication...to pursue Jihyun and pursue happiness because Jihyun IS happiness to Jaewon and once his mind no longer fights it, going to Jihyun and trying is the simplest and most reasonable thing to do. The magic of Jaewon’s power walk is the conscious gravity of that realisation, of that act.

while watching the opening of ep10 all I could think of was t8s 🤝 tms: starts off teasing (the whole season) with clips that only happen in the last ep

If I’m honest, out of all the episodes, ep9-10 were the choppiest, but I get it, they had a lot to cover. There’s no swell, no smooth transition between the scenes, just a wave we climb and when it’s gone we hop onto another wave. Also, the experience of the last ep is akin to reading a c-webnovel where you get to the extras after the main story’s end… well, ep10 is all those extras combined:

◦ idk call me petty but Taehyung and Eunji are toxic people, I wouldn’t want them in my life for anything. Jaewon forgiving them is one thing bc it gives him closure but I hope as hell he cuts those two snakes out for good ◦ Jihyun’s dilemma of when was our first day (as a couple) is so ‘dating and romantic relationships in sk 101’ ◦ ily tipsy Jihyun, ily unruly Jaewon

I love everything @emotionallychargedtowel said in this post (thank you for the wonderful observations, your gripes are valid, I have even more lol) especially the bit about wanting, asking for, or expecting a certain level of care from the important people in our lives, Jiyun’s game, and the pursuer-distancer bit OMG THANK YOU FOR WRITING THAT!!! Jihyun’s game is my fav moment from the last two eps (closely followed by the opening sequence of ep10), it tells so much about his attitude and dedication towards their relationship

And on this note, I agree 120% with everything @emotionallychargedtowel and @jemmo wrote about the complexity of their relationship showed by the ‘twist to conventional roles' (and might I add, not just in queer romance but in romance as a genre too) Not me thinking about my post about Jaewon and Jihyun both actively romancing each other because for equality in a relationship, there has to be space for the ppl involved to move around, and at times, switch places (like taking care of one’s partner, be the one to woo them… then being taken care of, being wooed and so on) because it’s a dance where they take turns to lead depending on the situation because they both want this, because they feed into each other’s happiness.

Jaewon teases Jihyun, establishing again and again that he knows Jihyun is young, younger than Jaewon himself but he does NOT patronise Jihyun for it. It’s an indulgent way of acknowledging his bf’s youth while fully regarding him as an adult. And whenever Jihyun tries to downplay their age gap, whenever he puts them on the same standing with the casual slips of banmal, Jaewon is so happy to be treated like a friend, like someone of the same age as Jihyun. He doesn’t try to use his hyung status as leverage… it’s a balancing act, it is give-and-take and letting Jihyun give back and letting himself receive just as much because Jaewon appreciates Jihyun and takes him seriously as a person, not just as a cute younger boyfriend in need of doting on.

Then I saw this post from @jemmo and I’m !!!!!!!!

will you meet me more than halfway? 😭😭😩😩

Thank you for sharing that song and that particular line bc isn’t that what Jihyun did again and again, meeting Jaewon more than halfway?? Even at the end of ep9 he waited for Jaewon and when he saw him, he went down to meet him in front of the dorms. Jihyun took that extra step, once again meeting Jaewon more than halfway and ever since watching that scene my chest is so full

All in all, The Eighth Sense is a beautifully crafted, though evoking drama, full of passion and love apparent from its detailed and consistent plotline, believable three-dimensional characters, exceptional quality and cinematography. It made me kinda obsessed for 5 weeks and evoked thoughts and feelings I have not experienced since To My Star: Our Untold Stories. Everyone involved in making this drama deserves praise and an enormous round of applause 👏👏👏👏 Very well done 💕💕💕

#this drama will keep living in my head rent free #여덟번째 감각 #the eighth sense #i've been meaning to write this for days now #this is once again awfully long #not @me when I saw jaewon dipping his feet INTO THE HAN RIVER he is actually fearless beyond belief #but yeah i know #it was him desperately wanting to reconnect with the good and wonder that trip and jihyun introduced him to and not the trauma it gave #and water is his medium #always has been #i know #that transition was a beautiful visual perception but...the HAN RIVER #yuu pls move on #also i didnt even remember clearest blue was in heartstopper lol my frail brain cant remember shit

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tiffanylamps · 2 years

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Hi Tiffany, many fanfic authors write about Juwan having the tendency to hurt himself on his bad days, cutting himself, having scars on him etc. do they infer or they are mentioned (explicitly or implicitly) in the original?

Mental issue wise, Donsik has lots of traumatic experience but I can see JW will have a longer journey to heal (if he is properly loved). I am wondering to what degree and how original chose to explore. If they are not explicitly mentioned, how do many fanfic authors get the idea and developed it in a relatively consistent way?

Don’t know if I am making sense…. BE is such a rich drama. So many angles to explore.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

Hello! Thank you so much for sending me this fascinating ask!!

CW: Self-harm, suicide, mental health discussion.

[I will preface this by saying I am not trained in anything mental health related, I am just one sad woman with an opinion]

I'm only going to talk from my perspective, as I don't want to speak on other writers' behalf.

From my knowledge, the show does not infer or imply that Joo Won self-harms through the means of cutting. However, I think there is a case there to argue that Joo Won does have abusive tendencies and leads himself into dangerous situations which could be interpreted as a means of self-harm.

Here's a list of some of these actions:

The way he treated Dong Sik (in the beginning)

Hitting himself with a loaded gun as he has a panic attack

Getting involved in fights

Getting himself arrested on National TV

His unhealthy relationship with his father

Promising to "go to hell" for Dong Sik

Walking into a house by himself, knowing full well that he could be murdered

His drinking....

And so on...

I have written work which implies that Joo Won self-harms (I wrote him pinching his wrists until he bleeds as a form of punishment/relief). The reason why I feel like Joo Won would be someone that self-harms is because of his behaviour: he is very emotional, quick to anger/being overwhelmed, and has (in my opinion) substance abuse issues (with alcohol).

Another element that goes into this is that his mother struggled with substance abuse issues and self-harm. In Episode 14, Joo Won watches his parents effectively break up. His mother is inebriated, having just returned from the hospital after (what looks like) a suicide attempt. Joo Won is compared to his mother in the show by his father. So, I don't believe it's too far of a jump to connect the dots that Joo Won might

be traumatised by what happened to his mother

May have inherited her unhealthy habits

or inherited her mental health disorders

(or a little combination of all three, and then some)

Joo Won chooses to engage in unhealthy actions/thought processes/coping mechanisms. He chooses to hurt himself and others. I believe he's been emotionally abused and neglected basically his whole life, so I don't entirely blame him but he still should hold himself accountable.

Which he does.... with all of his repressed rage, sexual frustrations, and boundless guilt.

I think another main aspect of why some fic writers include self-harming/abuse storylines when exploring Joo Won's character is because they're projecting their own experiences onto him. I mean I have done that SO many times when writing about that wonderful fool. The poor man has lived through quite a few of my experiences and that (in my opinion) is okay because he's suuuuper fictional. Plus, what can I say, it's fun to make him cry. (that sounds super morbid lol)

"Mental issue wise, Donsik has lots of traumatic experience but I can see JW will have a longer journey to heal (if he is properly loved)"

That's an interesting insight. Dong Sik has been through more than anyone should ever go through. But I feel like his loving childhood and support network (and general personality) will give him the tools to move on with his life. I think he will always struggle - every October is still going to hurt - and when his mother passes away, all of the grief and trauma will come back and hit him again. I don't believe he'll ever be over what happened to him but I think he'll be able to live a loving life. (I hope so anyway) Joo Won, however, wasn't taught how to deal with his emotions in a healthy way, nor has he ever had a stable support system. So, I think he has a clustrefuck of unhealthy coping mechanisms to unlearn before he can move on. I don't necessarily believe he'll have a harder time than Dong Sik (who is the King of hurting himself) but I do think Joo Won isn't as far in his journey (of recovery) as Dong Sik because of his age and life experiences, so it'll take him longer.

I hope that offers more of an insight into why some writers include self-harm storylines when exploring Joo Won. I can only talk from my point of view but if there is anyone else who is comfortable sharing their thoughts, please do!! I'm sure anon would love to have a wider consensus on this topic (and I would also be interested). Thank you again for the ask! This is a very complex topic and I feel like I only scratched the surface. But without this becoming massively TMI or chatting utter shite through a tangent, I feel like this is the best I can offer you for now : )

#i feel so unqualified to talk about this. i'm mostly just talking out of my arse on this one #beyond evil replies #han juwon #lee dongsik #beyond evil analysis #beyond evil meta commentary #han joo won #answered

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loststarphounix · 2 years

Text

Kitten's Cream

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Supernatural, No Game Spoilers, Were-Creature/Were Panther, Were Panther!Gundham, Semi-Shift sex (like he partials but not all the way), Monster Sex (lite - again he isn't full shifted lol), Hand Job, Rimming, Ball Sucking, Fingering, Anal Sex, Cream pie, penis gets large at some point (I'm blaming it on shifter stuff shhh)

Summary: Kazuichi is caught unawares by when coming back from a party on a full moon night.

Read on Ao3

Authors Note: This is based on my own personal AU headcanon where Gundham is a were-panther and he shares a body with Abysmal Wrath, the manifestation of his animal instincts. I'll probably share more of that later - but its Halloween and I wanted to make something with it and with his more animal impulse side - aptly named Abysmal Wrath. Please enjoy!

A plastic cup was forced into his hand. Kazuichi grimaced at the lukewarm liquid that splashed onto his fingers. His stomach rolled traitorously at the mere thought of drinking beer. This halloween party sucked - no one was even in costume. He doesn’t know how or when Leon got alcohol, but it seemed to just never run out.

Even as he thought that, more bottles of beer and soju were produced seemingly out of thin air, causing several loud, drunken voices to shout exuberant cheers. It made Kazuichi’s face scrunched up as once again some asshole pushed up against him, reeking of booze. He glowered at the solo cup.

Fuck, he needed some air.

Placing the still full cup onto a clutter table, he began to make his way out of the party. It was too much tonight and he dodged questions and Leon’s teasing about being too much of a wet blanket to actually party. Finally, he was outside and he could finally feel himself relax in the crisp autumn night. Rummaging through his pockets, he pulled out and lit a cigarette.

As he blew out a plum of smoke, he started towards the campus dorms. Up above, the moon sat full and heavy, emitting an eerie yellow light. Its round, smooth surface pulled the corners of his pinched lips down.

Almost a full two years had passed since he had started Hope’s Peak, and when he discovered that his then rival-turned-friend-turned-boyfriend Gundham Tanaka, was actually a were-panther. It was completely by chance and not what he had thought would be the chunnyboi’s ‘forbidden dark secret’.

Shit, he still can’t believe that it’s real and not some elaborate stunt and he’s seen the other boy transform while busting out of his clothes like something out of a horror flick. But he took it in stride - as well as Kazuichi can take anything scary in stride - and the two shared the secret to ensure that the breeder wasn’t caught and killed.

How they got together, the mechanic still doesn’t know, but apparently to everyone else the writing was on the wall. And once he got his shit together, he went for the plunge and confessed to Gundham. It did not end how he expected.

Gundham had been so damn chivalrous at the time; wanting to keep the other at arm's length in fear of what his primal instincts would do. But the mechanic refused to just let it end like that once he got his shit together and with the surprising ally of Abysmal Wrath, he managed to bag the nerdiest but kindest guy in the whole school.

He basically got two boyfriends to the price of one and he can’t see it as anything but a win.

Reaching his dorm, Kazuichi dug into his pockets again for the key, when suddenly the door was forced open from the inside. He stumbled, nearly falling on his ass, before strong hands circled his waist and lifted him up. Panic swept through the mechanic’s body, before he let out a relieved sigh when he saw it was Gundham who caught him.

“Babe! You scared the fuck outta me!” Screeched Kazuichi, halfheartedly smacking the other’s chest.

A laugh, dark and velvet rich made tiny sparks of pleasure jolt down the shorter male’s spine. The hands on his waist squeezed, fingers momentarily digging into the flesh on his love handles, before they slowly trailed up and under the graphic tee he wore.

Kazuichi blinked. While they have fooled around a bit, Gundham was still very much against extensive pda. And Kazuichi got that - not everyone craves physical contact like he did. But the breeder still was reserved, even when they were alone in the safety of their rooms.

He looked up as the questing fingers continued to pinch and move, surprised to see bright, amber gold glaring down at him instead of the usual silver eyes.

“ Abysmal …” the word formed on his lips, but nothing came out, but he was still rewarded with a savagely wide grin that displayed all the breeder’s teeth. “Byss!”

“Good evening, Kitten.” The taller purred, leaning down to brush their lips together in a fleeting peck before rubbing their noses in greeting.

Kazuichi froze, surprised, his brain not understanding why the other in front of him instead of outside, running free. Abysmal should have been prowling the zoological sanctuary on Hope’s Peak campus, hunting and scaring the resident animals.

Then it suddenly hits him. It was a full moon tonight.

The instinctive half of his boyfriend usually had full control on the first night of the full moon, but they usually switched and it never surprised Kazuichi if one moment he was talking to Gundham and the next he was to Abysmal. The only time he didn’t pop into existence was when he and Gundham were intimate - and not because he found it uninteresting but because the breeder had immense self control. Kazuichi had tried to convince his boyfriend to let his other side have a little fun, but he refused; claiming that his other side would not be able to control himself and prevent unneeded injury to their lover and to never provoke the inner animal to do so. He saw how concerned and shook the other seemed at the idea and let it go.

But now he was here and it didn’t make any sense. How could he here, standing in front of Kazuichi, in human shape instead of being on all fours and sporting a black fur coat?

Fingers tighten and dig into his side. Kazuichi startled as he felt himself being drawn closer to the broad chest. A hand lifted up and hooked his chin between long fingers.

“Kitten… reek of alcohol.”

The voice - so the same but so different in candor and tone - dripped down his body like molten honey; even with the warning tone underneath it. He let out a shuddering breath as he subconsciously leaned closer.

“Some ass spilled beer on me. I didn’t even drink tonight.”

He didn’t know why he admitted that last part, but it felt like the right move as the other pulled him flush against his body with an inquisitive hum.

“W-why are you here?” He asked, suddenly timid as he was all but herded into his room. The sudden thought of lambs and wolves came to mind.

Abysmal found his hesitance amusing, continuing to push him inside as he answered, “Me? Oh, no reason really…”

The room was dark and devoid of light aside from the moon and street lamps outside. The sound of the lock engaging sounded much louder than it actually was and the mechanic nearly jumped when he felt the other presence crowding his back. Lips ghosted against his ear, making goosebumps prickle the back of his neck.

“I came calling to see my little Kitten, only to find his room completely empty.” A hint of disapproval colored the man’s voice and Kazuichi scrambled to explain.

“It was just some party Leon invited me to. Didn’t like the vibe so I left.” He tried to shrug, but the other had trapped him in his arms, locking him in place.

Abysmal nosed the nape of his neck and tipped it to the side. The low growl of approval made him shiver.

“You still left.”

“B-but I’m back now?” He whispered, throat suddenly tightening.

Again, the thought of wolves and sheep came to mind.

Dark laughter, so quiet Kazuichi could’ve sworn he imagined it, played across his ear like music. The arms around him tightened and the smooth slide of teeth nipped his ear.

“But you’re back now.” Abysmal agreed, voice rumbling.

It was at that moment that Kazuichi heard the distant sound of a trap snapping shut.

Fingers curl and fisted the front of his shirt, before they pulled harshly. Ripped fabric fluttered in the air and Kazuichi gaped. He turned around, ready to scream at the other for ruining one of the few shirts he owned, before he was picked up and thrown across the room. A scream leaves the mechanic’s throat as he sails towards the bed, landing gracelessly and just managing to avoid hitting his head against the wall.

He barely had a second before Abysmal was draped over him, tearing off the remaining fabric and jerking his jeans down. Moving to stop the other, he’s stopped as a hand grabs his wrist and pins them over his head. He starts to struggle, but freezes at the warning growl - a real, animalistic growl erupted and echoed throughout the room. Yellow pinprick flashed dangerously into the semi darkness, making the bottom of his stomach tighten.

“Behave.” Yellow eyes darkened into near pools of darkness as Abysmal leaned down to gently nip the plush bottom lip.

Shivers rack through Kazuichi's spine at the commanding tone. His body relaxed underneath the other, and Abysmal stared him down for a moment before slowly moving his hands to cup the other’s neck.

“Stay.” Was the only thing he said, before he moved again.

Kazuichi watches the were finally wrestle his jeans off him. Hands - now much larger and thicker than before, was he actually changing holy shit - descended upon his body, grabbing and pinching nearly every inch they could reach. He groaned as elongated fingers pinched his nipples, a blush spreading across his chest as Abysmal chuckles from above him.

Fingers tickled his side, before they wrapped around his cock and his hips involuntarily jerked up. He wanted to wipe that smug look off his face but then he twisted his wrist and all thoughts of violence vanished.

A whine left his lips as the other slowly dragged his hand up and down, using a finger to follow the line of his vein and causing pre to already start leaking. He fidgeted, not use to being so still and wanting to reach up and touch his boyfriend. But he doesn’t, because Abysmal told him to and is rewarded with the other speeding up.

It didn’t long for him to cum - he had been horny and hadn’t seen Gundham for a couple of days. He let out a groan as his cum coated the hand wrapped around his cock, making it glide even faster. It didn’t take long for his flagging erection to return to full mast as Abysmal ran a thumb over the slit, slightly digging it and producing a bead a cum.

The hand removes itself and Kazuichi catches himself before he disobeys the previous order by almost reaching out to put that hand back on his dick. Abysmal laughs, more amused than anything, as his lifts the soiled hand to drag his thick tongue across each finger, not breaking eye contact. The pink haired man felt his blush deepen, but he didn't move as the other finished cleaning his hand, before moving a bit to the side and unzipping his jeans. Kazuichi gets on his elbows and watches as the other undresses, having a slight moment of irritation on the fact that only his clothes get shredded, but is immediately distracted by a well defined chest. No matter who’s in charge, Kazuichi will always admire and gawk at the tall, broadly built body above him.

It didn’t take long for the breeder’s clothes to join the ragged stips of cloth on the floor. In all his naked glory, Abysmal climbed onto the bed and pounced on the other. Kazuichi wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s thick shoulders as the taller one zeros in on his neck. He let out an inelegant snort. That was one thing both of them had in common: they liked to attack his neck.

Sharp canines nipped harshly at delicate pink skin, making the shorter man gasp first in fear and then in desire as a thick tongue swathed the area. Blood sluggishly trickles down his skin and he feels the trail being lapped up. Then he felt thin lips wrap around the wound and oh -

Oh he was gonna have a helluva hickey tomorrow.

As he started to suck harder onto the tender flesh, Abysmal began to position Kazuichi, prying open his legs widely. It was almost painful, but he was used to the burn and let the other push them even wider so that he could feel them just kissing the cool sheets. He watched as Abysmal stared down at his wet, throbbing erection and pink puckered hole - flushing when those eyes became darker with unrestrained lust.

“Beautiful.” He growled, his husky tone making the creeping pink flush darken.

And then he leant down and dragged his tongue across the quivering hole.

Gasping, Kazuichi instinctively moves to shut his legs, but Abysmal was already there - crowded in and refusing to let the shorter man close them. He swipes long strokes against Kazuichi’s hole, making it quiver and open a bit bigger the longer he goes on. Then he plunges it inside and Kazuichi grips the sheets in pleasure. The tongue retreats slightly, only for two fingers to slip in. And then the tongue makes it return on his balls and Kazuichi can't smother the scream that was building in the back of his throat. He was given a deep rumble in response, as Abysmal continued to eat him out while also sucking one of his lover's balls.

The stretching makes Kazuichi scramble for purchase and nearly rip his own sheets. A chuckle from below makes hot air puff inside him and Kazuichi writhes. Kazuichi moans as Abysmal works both his fingers and tongue in and out of his ass, thoroughly eating him out with reckless abandon. A wet trail dribbles out and he feels it and has a dawning realization that the other has so much spit coming out of his mouth that it's leaking out his asshole. Fuck, but that just makes it all the hotter.

Questing fingers bump against his prostate and he nearly screams as the claws barely scrape the bundle of nerves. It still makes him cum on himself, babbling and aching as he is eating out through his orgasm. Even when he was done, Abysmal continued, now adding a third finger and doing more stretching than actually exploring. Much sooner than he would’ve wanted, he felt the tongue and fingers retreat and let out a disappointed moan at the loss. Abysmal didn’t laugh at him this time - probably more to do with the fact that his own cock was painfully red and steadily leaking as it nudged against his thigh.

Before he can even blink, he’s flipped over and manhandled so that he’s on all fours. He feels the other hike his hips up so that he bends his elbows with his ass stuck in the air. Warm hands paw at his ass, making him flush from his face down to bottom as his chest.

Abysmal takes in his reaction with great relish, giving a cheek a sharp slap. “Such a pretty little thing I caught. And it's all mine.”

“You didn’t catch me.” Panted Kazuichi, turning slightly to lock eyes with his lover.

“Hmm…true. The cub got to you first.” He slides his paw like hands up so that they settle on a thick waist before jerking the other closer. Smirking at the sound of air leaving his mate’s lungs, he leans down to crowd over Kazuichi, before mouthing the shell of a pink ear. “But you’re all mine now.”

With no warning, Kazuichi felt the head of his cock right against his hole, before it slammed right into him. The breath let his lungs as his lover completely sheathed himself in one go. Because his hole had been so wet and stretched, it slid in smoothly, but it still took Kazuichi a moment to regain himself. But Abysmal didn’t give a moment.

He only took a moment to shift his position, before he began to drive into the warm body below. All Kazuichi could do was take deep breaths as the pace became faster and faster with very little time to get used to it. But this wasn’t his first rodeo with Gundham and his dick - his body was acquainted with the shape and length of him, so it didn’t take long for Kazuichi to get into the feeling of being fucked.

Soon, he began to lift his hips to meet the other and Abysmal let out a pleased groan as he sped up even more. He watched as the other’s face slowly changed - becoming more beastly.

His pupils became slited and the eyes seemed to glow even brighter; face distorted into a half human, half animal muzzle, with hair popping out of his face and cheeks in a fine dusting.

His fangs are fully extended and cut his bottom lip, and his hands have the shadow tellings of paws with claws popped out. Despite being all but a full on cat person, he somehow keeps the rest of the transformation at bay - his self control so strong that he can do so even partially shifted was impressive.

Usually, seeing Gundham go through the shift scared the piss out of him. But now, as his prostate was getting hit repeatedly as he was fucked through it, Kazuichi found it a little hot.

Oh, he was really fucked up, wasn’t he? But he loved every second of it and was in good company anyway.

“Byss please! Don’t stop.” He panted, keening like a wounded animal as a large clawed hand shredded the pillow next to him.

A rough sound came from behind him, as Abysmal began to thrust into him harder, really fucking him raw. It was so much different than with Gundham, Kazuichi couldn’t help but compare it. Where the breeder was slow and sweet and a bit rough, Abysmal was all rough with tiny pockets of sweetness. It was maddening and Kazuichi felt like he was gonna die of pleasure.

“Kitten. Such a good kitten, submitting so pretty for me.” He growled, his words slurring as his canines began to protrude from his lips.

Kazuichi moaned in reply as he bit his lip, trying desperately to smother the sounds escaping. But it was no use as Abysmal grabbed a fistful of his hair and jerked his head up. The shorter man let out a bellowing moan as his hair was pulled, the pain and pleasure mingling so sweetly that his toes curled in want.

He clenched around the length inside him, causing his boyfriend to groan before snapping his hips, making them both jerk forward. Kazuichi let his head fall, now free from the others' hold but now letting the strangled moans and screams flow freely.

Thick drool begins to trickle onto his bare lower back and Kazuichi shivers as they pooled and slid down with every harsh thrust. He went to touch his cock - now damp and near purple, but was slapped away with a warning growl. So he grabbed the other's thigh instead, causing Abysmal to speed up even faster.

Groans and gasps filled the room filled with increasing volume. Kazuichi’s body jerked with each thrust, absently thinking that the other was pushing harder into him more to prove a point than to actually bring him pleasure.

He gaped when suddenly, he felt the dick inside him swell - much more than it usually did when he had sex with Gundham. He didn’t say anything at first, because the thick girth was pressing oh so nicely against his prostate.

But then one particular instance of an outward jerk pulled the rim to the point of pain that overshot the pleasure for a moment, which made the shorter man see stars as he breath left his lungs. He tried to wiggle out of the other's hold, but he was pressed further into the bed.

“W-wait! Too much too - Ah !” Kazuichi pleaded, arching himself off the bed. Panic and pleasure warred within him as he tried again to get away. “Ah!”

A large, claw tipped hand suddenly grabbed him and pushed him back into the mattress. More of the other’s cock entered him and Kazuichi’s mouth gaped open. Shit, he thought he had taken him all to the base already?

“Don’t try to run.” Came the distorted growl, the claw tips gentl piercing into the shoulder blade just enough to draw tiny dots of blood. Kazuichi let out another whine as Abysmal leaned down to lap them in apology, “You’re doing so well taking all of me in. Don’t disappoint me now, Kitten.”

Fangs gently nipped at the nap of his neck and Kazuichi went limp, letting the pleasure and his boyfriend dictate what he should do. A low rumble of approval vibrated from his back, before he felt the other speed up his movements. Kazuichi had to hold onto the ruined sheet with the power of the thrusts. Then he felt the pressure build up again, before he finally bottoms out.

Shit! Kazuichi’s eyes widened, his heart hammering.

If he wasn’t full now, he was completely fucking stuffed now. He could feel his hole spasm at the width and girth and his cock - which had started to wilt - throb and steadily leak a small puddle underneath him. A small noise of distress escapes him and Abysmal slows his movements down just enough to give him a moment. But Kazuichi doesn’t want to stop - not when he feels so impossibly full .

He pushes back, groaning as the small inch that Abysmal had removed sinks right back into him. Abysmal hisses a strangled moan and it emboldens him. Slowly, he pulls himself only a few inches off, before slamming back again, this time making claws score down his sides and it adds to the pleasure.

It was as though this was the sign his lover needed, because with a huff, Abysmal grip tightens on his middle before he pulls Kazuichi harshly towards him. With no warning, he starts to rail harder into him, keeping close enough so that only very little of his cock left that tight hole at a time.

Kazuichi’s breath left him at the harsh pace. Never had he actually felt this used before - so full and still hungry for more. It was driving him crazy. He weakly tried to shove his back to meet him thrust to thrust, but his own energy was waning and Abysmal was keeping him locked in place. He laid there, cheek pressed into the bed and drool seeping out his mouth as he made keening noises almost akin to that of a dying animal. There was so little space between them that they were basically humping each other at this point.

All of a sudden, as he was roughly lifted up. Kazuichi scrambled to hold onto his boyfriend’s body close as he was brutally fucked from behind. The new position brought more pressure against his prostate and it made his horace voice stutter into a broken scream as it was continuously assaulted.

Suddenly, with an embarrassing and earth shattering force, he abruptly came. He let out a long moan in surprise as his cum shot out and landed into a messy stain onto the mattress. He shuddered, pathetically whining as a his prostate was still being stimulated by the now ridiculous size of Abysmal’s cock.

He leaned back, only being suspended by the other’s strength as he head lolled. Abysmal nosed his check, before jerking it away and sinking his teeth into the crock of his neck. Kazuichi let out a pathetic mew as he felt the fangs sink into his flesh and the blood sluggishly trail down his shoulder as the other still continued to fuck into him.

Then, Abysmal wrenched away from his neck and forced Kazuichi onto his stomach. Holding him in place, he shoved into the mechanic twice more before stilling. He let out a yowl as he came into Kazuichi, his fangs pressing another mark into the other’s shoulder blade as he continued to pump cum. His claws extended and ripped large chunks into the mattress and sheet.

Kazuichi shivered and whined as it happened, mind foggy from the multiple orgasms to even be completely there as stayed locked together for several minutes. Finally, his boyfriend retracted his fangs from his shoulder, a shuddering groan leaving Abysmal at the taste of blood. He gave the wound a loving lick, before he pulled away.

No longer being held up, Kazuichi collapsed onto a heap, only having enough strength to turn his head so he didn’t smother himself. Above him, Abysmal unsheathed his claws from the mattress, starting down at his prone, shaking body with that eerie gaze.

A pressure from within eases slightly as the other pulls out of his entrance with a sloppy and loud pop and Kazuichi shivers. He vainly tries to squeeze his hole shut to prevent the cooling cum from leaking out. A trickle still travels down despite his efforts, before two fingers probe and push the leaking fluids back in almost roughly.

They even enter and two fingers stretch him open, causing more to leak. It causes his hole to spasm and his eyes rolled to the back of his head at the over stimulation; making him flop his head back and releasing ragged breaths as the other continues to push them back in.

Several moments pass before he can’t take anymore and shies away from the invading fingers, letting out a noise of relief when they finally retract. With the fingers out, Kazuichi can finally collapse on the bed in a heap. His breathing is uneven as he tries desperately to regain his senses.

He hears another rumbling purr, that is so loud that the whole room seemed to shake from it. It sounds like it has the undertone of immense satisfaction.

Or maybe that was Kazuichi’s post nut imagination. He distantly heard muttered praise as a hand gently ran through his sweaty mane.

“Such a good mate. Took me so well and didn’t even complain. Kept me all in that little pretty hole. Such a good baby girl.” He praised, nuzzling into the smaller man’s sweaty pink hair, the purring somehow louder than before.

The pet name made his dick twitch in interest, but he was still recovering from the back to back orgasms to even think about touching it. Instead, he weakly pushed the other away, who only pouted over the shaky mechanic’s pitiful attempt to crawl away. He made no move to help and even let out a little snicker when Kazuichi flopped back down helplessly.

Kazuichi panted as his fingers uselessly splayed on the ruined mattress, shame coloring his ears and watering his eyes. His first real night like this with Abysmal and he can’t even crawl to a dry spot literally an inch away. Not to mention how battered and bruised he felt now and would probably look like he escaped a full on mawing from a wild animal tomorrow.

Fuck, he really needed to get to that dry spot and catch some sleep.

Groaning, Kazuichi moved to roll away from the cooling puddle of cum underneath him - fuck crawling his diginity can be bruised a bit- and froze as a large, elongated hand rested on his whole thigh, pinpricks of the unsheathed claws having just enough pressure to be made aware of their existence.

Breath stuttered as it quickened in anticipation and he looked up to see the half transformed face of his boyfriend staring him down with laser focus. Now he looked more beastly, his features less human and even had his goddam tail swinging behind him like a pendulum. Fangs glinted in the scant light as he smirked down at the confused pink haired man.

“Not so fast, Kitten. I didn’t say you could go anywhere, did I?” Golden eyes glowed with an almost maddening hunger as Abysmal dragged Kazuichi’s frozen body closer. “I’m not through with you just yet.”

end

#Soudam #soudham #kazunaka #kazuichi x gundham #Soda kazuichi #kazuichi soda #gundham tanaka #soudam fic #fic writing #my writing #fic kitten's cream #danganronpa 2

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igbylicious · 4 months

Text

whichever way [woosan x reader] pt 2

pairing: woosan x f reader

rating: 18+

genre: smut, fluff-ish, neighbours au, friends with benefits

ch. summary: You follow through with Wooyoung’s suggestion, but it looks like things aren’t ending there.

wc: 7.4k

ch. warnings: hard dom San, bratty sub Wooyoung, voyeur reader, consensual voyeurism/exhibitionism, kink negotiation, m x m, anal sex, rough sex, spanking, masturbation, dirty talk, blowjob, handjob, dumbification & degradation (@ Wooyoung), a hint of dacryphilia, praise kink (@ reader), safeword colour check (it’s green), aftercare

a/n: features a soft-bodied, aromantic reader who uses she/her pronouns

(also the first 2k of this chapter is basically kink negotation i got carried away i’m so sorry lol)

masterlist. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

“Hey. Sorry, it’s just me today,” San says, opening the door to let you inside. “Wooyoung got called into an extra shift at work.”

It’s just a mere few days after the memorable incident that capsized your entire relationship with your friendly neighbour Choi San, and here you are again, walking into his apartment.

He is still your friendly neighbour Choi San, of course, but now he is also the Choi San that you accidentally walked into while he was fucking his boyfriend — and he will soon become the Choi San who fucks his boyfriend in front of you with full consent from all parties involved.

And right now? Right now he is the Choi San who invited you over for a friendly chat about establishing ground rules.

This is totally fine. You are totally fine.

Somehow, some absurd chain of events has led you to this point, and you can’t quite work out how it happened. You are inclined to blame Byeol for it all, though you’re not sure yet how. It’s her fault for needing to eat, or something like that. If she could just go a week without food, you never would’ve been in San’s apartment that day.

Yeah. This is all on Byeol. Rock-solid logic right there.

“No Wooyoung? Oh, no sure, that’s fine,” you tell San, like it does not take a godlike amount of strength to meet his eyes directly. Like your brain doesn’t conjure up the memory of him sucking and biting at Wooyoung’s neck every time you see him. “Or should we do this some other time, when he can be here, too?”

While you are struggling to keep a tight hold on your one last thread of self-composure, San seems remarkably well-adjusted, especially considering how flustered he had been that day. Now that the initial shock has passed, his mannerisms are relaxed and easy — but you?

Your unexpected surge of Wooyoung-induced boldness had run out of juice approximately two seconds after leaving San’s apartment, and you’d only grown more antsy since then. Your days were spent second-guessing the whole thing and fighting back the urge to look up new apartment listings.

(You can’t decide if San’s ability to stay calm and composed is ridiculously unfair, or if it is for the best. At least one of you has their shit together.)

San looks casual and homey today, dark hair still wet from a shower. He’s wearing comfy socks with grey sweats and a simple black shirt that should, in theory, be oversized; but the fabric clings onto San’s broad chest in a way that is very distracting, his collarbones exposed by the wide neckline.

(That shirt is definitely unfair. Does San have no compassion for your poor nerves??)

“Wooyoung gave me the okay to go ahead without him,” San says, gesturing an invitation for you to step into the living room. “I know what he wants out of this, what his limits are. Is that alright with you?”

You hesitate for a moment — but honestly? If you already struggle this much to keep yourself from bolting out the door with just San in the room, you can’t trust how well you’ll cope with Wooyoung here too. It might take a few extra days to gather the mental strength required so you can face the memories that he conjures in your head. Like when his— (NOPE. Stop! Stop that right now, brain!! Cease and desist!)

“Yeah, if Wooyoung’s okay with it, then I’m okay with,” you say, smiling back at San. Nailed it; you are being so normal about this. “Let’s talk.”

And so you do.

San sits you down on the couch where he joins you, a literal arm’s length away to give you some personal space. He also hands you a mug with a hot drink — your favourite, and you feel a flattered burst of happiness that he remembered from some random smalltalk ages ago.

You weren’t sure what to expect out of this conversation — or actually, you had not expected a conversation at all.

It seemed simpler to just…dive in, as it were. They fuck, you watch; high fives all around afterwards. Probably the most awkward fives that were ever highed but still; pretty straightforward, right?

But San insisted on laying out some ground rules beforehand, and as the conversation unfolds, you understand why.

It’s not that San overwhelms you with a multi-page kink inventory (“Maybe for some other time,” he jokes), nor does he take all the spontaneity out of it with a five-step business plan, laying out what will happen to the smallest details. He just…answers some of your questions, asks some questions of you, forcing you to actually solidify your thoughts about what your boundaries are — even as ‘just’ a spectator.

No, you don’t mind if they get a bit rough. What does ‘a bit rough’ look like to you? Oh, that’s a good question, actually. No, no you’re down for that. Umm, oh that’s quite… Yeah, of course they can talk to you during the scene; you’d feel weirder if they ignore you completely.

You’re no longer surprised that San is so calm today; he is obviously in his element, experienced in this type of kink negotiation. He does let out the occasional self-conscious chuckle — but that only makes him more endearing, his warm nature blanketing the strange formality of hashing out these limits.

Somehow, he strikes a sweet spot between keeping the dialogue casual enough that you don’t feel pressured, but thoughtful enough that you know he is taking you, and this whole thing altogether, seriously.

It helps to put you at ease; San knows what he’s doing, makes you feel like you are in safe hands. He explains how exactly he and Wooyoung use the traffic light system for safe-words, and he is quick to take anything off the table that you waver on, never pressing your boundaries.

Gradually, you find an inner calm in the reminder that you want this to happen, while San’s lack of judgement is a soothing assurance that it’s okay to want this to happen. Every person involved has given their enthusiastic consent — you may have stumbled into San and Wooyoung the first time, but this is different.

This time, you are making the conscious decision to step through the door, knowing what will be on the other side; and you can turn around any time you want to. You just don’t want to.

“Hey, thank you by the way,” San says at one point, “for being so open about this. Makes it a lot easier for me.”

“It does?”

He nods, his eyes curving. “Less stressful when I know what everyone’s expectations are. I don’t mind improvising, but it’s comfortable to have a baseline to work off, you know.”

Huh. You hadn’t thought about it from San’s perspective, but yeah, that makes sense. You tell him this, and thank him for making it easy on you, too. San’s eyes shine as he lets out a small, breathy laugh, like he is the one endeared by you right now.

“What about touching? Did we cover that yet? Maybe it goes without saying, but just to say it anyway,” he continues smoothly. “Off the table, right? Keeps things simpler. We don’t touch you, you don’t touch us. …We’re alright with you touching yourself, though, if you want to.”

San adds the last part so casually that it takes a beat for the suggestion to sink in — but then your breath catches at the thought, your bottom lip sucked between your teeth. For weeks you had held back from touching yourself to their muffled noises, and now they themselves are giving you permission to do so right in front of them? Oof.

“Oh? You hadn’t thought that far ahead, hm?” San says when he notes your dazed reaction, and the curve of his smile goes just slightly cocky. “Give it some thought, I’ll trust you to make up your mind on your own.”

“I think I already have,” you blurt out, resisting the unbidden urge to rub your thighs together.

San leans back, his grin showing a flash of teeth. “Good, I like that,” he says, and the simple confidence of his words does something to you. Something that makes you feel more than a little bummed that you’ll only be there as a spectator — but hey, at least that means you don’t have to bring up your IUD and clean bill of sexual health. “One last thing,” San goes on, “then I think we can wrap this up.”

You give him a curious look, encouraging him to continue.

“Wooyoung can get…mouthy,” San says, cautiously.

…

“No way,” you deadpan. “You’re joking.”

San gives you an exasperated look, one that you’ve caught him giving Wooyoung from time to time, but moves past your comment. “He likes to rile me up, likes it when I’m rough with him.”

This isn’t exactly news to you; where is San going with this? “So, uh, kind of like what was going on when I walked into you guys?”

It’s the first time that you’ve acknowledged what happened, and you can’t tell if saying the words out loud makes you die a little on the inside, or if it sets the most cringe-ridden part of you free. There is something strangely liberating about just speaking frankly; perhaps that is the secret behind Wooyoung’s bold audacity. Shame loses some of its power when you own up to things.

San does fluster a bit; apparently his miraculous recovery from the embarrassment of that day is not as complete as it seems, his endless composure not so endless after all. “Y-yea, no— It’s not…not always that mild,” he says, “the way I talk to him, that is.”

Mild?

You have vivid memories of how San had mocked Wooyoung for cumming untouched, the look on his face, the taunt in his voice. A stark contrast with the soft-hearted man sitting next to you now. So that was mild for them?

…Huh. Interesting.

San manages to recompose himself, while you mull over this new piece of information.

You feel curiosity, but also an instant discomfort that you can’t quite explain. The discomfort causes an immediate reflex to push it all down and ignore it, to pretend that you are fine with anything that San and Wooyoung want to do.

But San sees the hesitation in your face, and you know that you cannot hide your gut feelings from him. He will not let you. You try to relax, and remember that San has literally just thanked you for being open with him; this needs to be an honest conversation. Not only for your comfort, but for San’s.

“It’s not a judgement thing,” you immediately rush to reassure him. The last thing you want to do is imply that you’re kink-shaming him or Wooyoung. People like what they like, it’s got nothing to do with you. (Except this time it does have something to do with you, since you will be right there.) “I’m fine with anything like what I already heard, but hard name-calling or something like that… I’m not sure. It’s just—”

It’s just that San and Wooyoung have built a foundation, able to lean on their experiences and mutual trust when the harsher words come into play. They know that every degrading insult has the purpose to make the other feel good, even if it may seem counter-intuitive on a surface level. You are an outsider looking in — and you struggle to predict how you’ll respond to anything less ‘mild’; whether it will be just as exciting to you as it is to them, or only upsetting.

(Rationally you also know perfectly well that San would never say anything that Wooyoung isn’t on board with; but the connection between rationality and arousal is shaky at best.)

“No need to explain yourself,” San says, waving your concern away with his hand, “it’s all good. I’ll make sure it doesn’t go too far. There’s more than one way to deal with Wooyoung.” He adds a wink at the end, a cocky undertone in his words, but there’s still a hint of shyness burning at his ears. The dichotomy of it all is ridiculously endearing.

San walks you out the door, where he stops you for just a moment. “Sorry again for forgetting to text you,” he says. His smile is apologetic, but the sharp edge of embarrassment seems to have worn off of him too, the words calm. “I’m happy we’re doing this, Woo and I had been trying to think of a way to bring it up with you, I just— It would’ve been nice if we’d figured something out before…you know.”

You pat his arm, reassuring him that it’s all good between you. The catalyst to this turn of events had shaken you, but now? Now you feel steady in walking forward. Still a bit nervous, but (mostly) good nerves. Steady.

(Maybe you ought to buy Byeol some extra treats.)

“What would that conversation have even looked like?” you ask with a small chuckle. “‘Hey, want to watch us fuck?’ I mean, yeah, but that’s still pretty wild to ask your neighbour out of the blue.”

“And there we were, so worried about scaring you off,” San says, laughing.

“Well,” you say, puffing up your chest, “as you can see, I don’t scare easy.”

It’s just a line to poke fun at yourself and the whole situation, but San gives you another of his easy, confident grins, adorned by dimples. “No, you don’t. I like that too.”

You had worried that your discussion with San would take the excitement out of things, but those worries are unfounded. With the worst of your stress out of the way, anticipation has a chance to build up — and in a way, it’s kind of refreshing to have some idea of what to expect out of this, even if you won’t participate directly. No fumbling around blind to figure out what works for everyone, where the limits are. Just clarity.

Besides, it’s not like you have a play-by-play of what will happen. The only thing you know for sure is that you’re in for a memorable night.

Wooyoung confirms the latter as soon as he opens the door to greet you with a sly grin, biting his bottom lip.

“It’s good to see you again,” he says playfully, completely unbothered that he was buck naked the last time you saw him. Now he is wearing tight leather pants with a simple short-sleeved black shirt that shows off his arms — and again with the wide neckline! What is it with these damn men and their stupidly attractive collarbones!

Wooyoung notices how you check him out and preens immediately. He pushes his hair back with a suggestive wink, striking a little pose. “It’s a sexy look, right? Right?”

“Woo, don’t tease her,” San calls out from inside the apartment.

There is something about San’s voice that has you on alert, an edge of authority that you never heard from him before; but Wooyoung appears immune to it.

“I wasn’t teasing!” he calls back, rolling his eyes while he gestures you to come in. You note how his gaze lingers on the short skirt you’re wearing, but also that he does not touch you on the way to the bedroom; is he already taking the ground rules into account? You feel that slight pang of disappointment again; Wooyoung’s ass just looks so pinchable in those pants.

The lights are dimmed in the bedroom, and you step through the door with a mix of excitement and nerves — but they still are good nerves, only enhancing the excitement. San is already inside, waiting for you and Wooyoung.

This moment marks the first time you’ve ever seen Choi San shirtless.

You suck in a sharp breath, unable to help yourself.

You should not have been surprised; you’ve seen his arms on hot summer days where he hangs out in a sleeveless shirt, you know how wide those shoulders are just from seeing him in his regular clothes. And with the knowledge that San is one, a martial arts instructor and two, a certified gymrat to top it off; no, you should not have been surprised.

Not by the shadowed definition of his abs, not by the smooth expanse of his chest, tapered down to a slim hips where a faint treasure trail disappears into the waistband of his baggy, faded jeans. Add the tension in his jaw, his sharp narrowed eyes, the imposing posture; and San has undergone a total transformation, unrecognisable from the gentle guy next door.

You have always thought of the two men as gorgeous, but fuck. Whatever the you of a previous life has done to earn you this today, you send her a silent thanks.

San is unfazed by your moment of stunned admiration, simply showing you the comfy chair he’s readied for you. You sit down meekly; you may not be involved in the scene directly, but his dominant air still wraps around you. Usually you would describe San’s appearance as masculine handsomeness balanced with a perfect dose of cuteness, but now there is an edge of roughness to him, even by just standing there.

Wooyoung looks from you to San, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“What are you doing, showing off like that?” he says; bold words for a man who just posed to show off his (admittedly fantastic) ass in those leather pants. “You really want to impress her, trying to look tough, huh? Just do what you always do, geesh, that’s already fucking hot enough.”

The compliment slips past almost unnoticed, but Wooyoung turns to you before San has a chance to react. “Did you know,” he goes on, with the grin of a born troublemaker, “Sannie seriously did push-ups before you got in here. I think he’s nervous, isn’t that cute?”

His grin widens when you crack into a smile, so caught off guard by Wooyoung’s reveal that you have to muffle a laugh. It is cute.

San’s face goes dark while he watches Wooyoung mouth off. Your sweet neighbour would be flustered by the callout, but San isn’t your sweet neighbour right now. He has slipped into a different mode, and won’t be knocked out of it by Wooyoung’s antics.

Instead he takes two long strides across the room and without warning, grabs Wooyoung’s chin, tilting it up. “I think it’s time you shut your mouth and use it for better things,” San says, his voice rough.

Wooyoung softly gasps a surprised ‘ahh’, his body instantly reacting to San’s forceful touch. San’s eyes flash at the way Wooyoung’s back arches, a sharpened half-smile on his lips.

(“He likes to rile me up,” San had told you — but clearly San likes to be riled up, too.)

San pulls Wooyoung forward, mouths clashing in an aggressive kiss. Immediately he palms the crotch of Wooyoung’s leather pants, kneading at the growing bulge. Wooyoung groans, his teeth digging into San’s bottom lip while his hands cling onto broad, bare shoulders to keep his knees from buckling.

You rub your thighs together at the sight, a familiar pressure building in your lower abdomen. Your breaths go shallow, eyes unsure of where to focus.

Down to the smooth roll of Wooyoung’s hips as he humps into San’s hand, up to the way their jaws shift as the kiss gets messier; giving you more and more sloppy peeks at their tongues sliding together with wet, eager moans. San’s grip on Wooyoung’s chin is still unrelenting, manoeuvring the shorter man in whichever way pleases him.

A slow hand travels down your thigh, knees parting by instinct as your fingers slide in between. You’d wisely foregone on underwear, and you can feel the easier slide through just one layer of fabric, a growing damp spot where you rub the skirt against your clit. Your inhibitions are lowering rapidly, a soft whine joining Wooyoung’s loud one when his hips begin to stutter — and San immediately pulls away.

“F-fuck,” Wooyoung hisses, chasing after San’s hand. “C’mon, just let me—”

“And let the show end so quickly?” San asks, finally releasing Wooyoung’s chin to give him a condescending pat on the cheek. “That’s real greedy of you, Woo.”

Wooyoung scoffs. “You know I can go for more than one round, you’re just being a— f-fuck, San—!”

With a sharp smack, the flat of San’s hand strikes against Wooyoung’s ass. Just from the sound, you think even San’s palm must hurt from the impact against leather. Wooyoung jolts forward, mouth fallen open as he pants for hard breaths. He lets out another moan when San tangles his hand in those fire red locks of hair, forcing Wooyoung’s head at an angle.

“You think you deserve to cum more than once, after mouthing off like you just did?” San says, his voice cool, an almost detached expression on his face. “You’re lucky I don’t call the whole thing off right here.” His free hand undoes the button of his jeans, the sound of his zipper loud in the quiet bedroom. He is not wearing anything underneath. “Here, prove that you’ve earned one at all, or do you want to disappoint our guest? On your knees. Now.”

For a moment Wooyoung looks ready to balk — but then his eyes dart to you and he visibly swallows down a retort, obediently getting down.

Obedient, for you.

Your fingers press down a little harder into your cunt, aching at Wooyoung’s compliance, all to please you. The barrier of fabric becomes increasingly frustrating, its damp spot growing outright soggy as you whine a soft moan.

Wooyoung’s eyes immediately snap back to you, glittering as he watches the swirl of your fingers, the tensing of your thighs, partially covered by the skirt that is slowly riding up. He licks his lips, eyes hungry.

San chuckles at Wooyoung’s meeker demeanour. “So eager to have her watch you suck my cock, hmm? Would’ve done this much sooner if I’d known how quick you’d be down on your knees.” He runs his hand through Wooyoung’s red hair, forcing him back to the task at hand.

Wooyoung stares up with a glower, wrapping his hand around the thick, half-hard cock. He parts his lips and leans in — for a small, rebellious bite on San’s hip.

San hisses, his grip on Wooyoung’s hair tightening. “Play nice,” he warns in a low growl. “I can still change my mind about all this.”

Silently, Wooyoung simply laps his tongue at the bite; to soothe the mark, but also to take pride in it. A last act of defiance before his mouth closes around San’s cock with a soft wet sound, and he hollows his cheeks as he sinks down.

You’re spellbound, watching how Wooyoung noisily sucks and bobs his head. Moaning decadently, heavy-lidded eyes transfixed on San’s face. San takes shallow breaths, staring right back at Wooyoung and the glossy shine of spit that spreads over his hardening cock with every pass of Wooyoung’s mouth. You swallow thickly when Wooyoung’s cheek bulges, his fingernails lightly scratching the exposed skin of San’s thigh. It must be sensitive; San bites his lip, his hand balling into a fist in Wooyoung’s hair.

“Little faster, Woo. Work for it,” he says, his voice slightly hoarse. “You think I’ll take it easy on you just because we have company?”

Wooyoung lets out a whiny noise but eagerly follows the lead of San’s hand guiding him, now working his cock in earnest as his speed picks up. Drools escapes the corner of his mouth, more dribbling down with every muffled wet moan.

Desperate for friction, Wooyoung’s hips roll forward uselessly — but San stands still as a rock in contrast, content to make Wooyoung’s swollen lips slide up and down his thick length. He’d look utterly unaffected if not for the rise and fall of his chest with hard breaths, his jaw clenched as he watches Wooyoung go deeper with every pass.

Your last shreds of inhibition crumbles away, the sharp pulse in your cunt harder and harder to ignore. You are burning, and your boldness grows in direct proportion to your desperation for relief. A hand slips underneath your skirt, and you sigh at the direct contact, greeted by a slick mess.

San’s eyes flicker to you at the sound, his eyes piercing into the point where your wrist disappears underneath your clothes. You aren’t sure how much he can see, your skirt hiked up but still providing some cover — but you are sure he can hear the faint squelch of arousal as you fall into a rhythm, fingers sliding across your clit in familiar, toe-curling patterns.

You can’t even feel shy anymore at San’s enthralled stare, so deep in the chase for pleasure that his attention only spurs you on. Soft gasps for breath, your lips parting to give free passage to a shameless moan.

“Fuck,” San curses softly, and pulls Wooyoung’s mouth off of him.

Wooyoung is dazed, his eyes a little glassy, and he is reluctant to part his lips from San’s cock. He looks up in hazy confusion, lifting a hand to wipe his smeared face clean.

“Leave that,” San snaps, lightly smacking Wooyoung’s hand away. “Clothes off. On the bed.”

Wooyoung is too far out of it to even consider disobeying, his movements rushed and clumsy as he strips down. San is more controlled as he shucks off his jeans, then grabs for a bottle of lube from his nightstand. He watches approvingly how Wooyoung get on all fours, squeezing the base of his cock to take the edge off before he joins his boyfriend on the bed.

“Here,” he says, grabbing onto Wooyoung’s hips to manhandle him into a position where you get almost a full profile view, then roughly turns Wooyoung’s head towards you. “Let her take a good look at that face, what a pretty mess you made of yourself.”

Wooyoung is a pretty mess; eyes unfocused and mouth hanging open, lips and chin glistening with saliva and precum, his red hair unruly but pushed back to expose his forehead and the small studs of his eyebrow piercing. He is breathing shakily, bent down on his forearms; his back arches prettily, pushing his ass up into the air, and he rocks back in anticipation of having San’s hands on him.

But Wooyoung’s eyes slowly come back into focus when they fall on you, mesmerised by the same view that captivated San only a moment before. He hisses when you bite back a moan, deliberately shifting your thighs to make the skirt ride up higher. “Talk about pretty messes,” he groans. “Fuck.”

You whine, the praise blooming hotly in your abdomen. It’s hard not to squirm under Wooyoung’s heated gaze; so you don’t bother to try and stop yourself, hips rocking forward to meet your fingers as one trails down to press inside you, just a shallow dip, teasing yourself — and Wooyoung.

He groans unabashedly and burrows his face in the sheets, like the sight is too much for him to handle, his back arching deeper.

“That’s it,” San says in a silk-smooth voice, running his hand across Wooyoung’s spine, before drawing back to squeeze at his ass. “You’re enjoying yourself like this, aren’t you? Putting yourself on display like—” San bites something back, shaking his head. (You realise that you wish he hadn’t held back.) “How is it, Woo? Is it just as good as you thought it’d be, hm?”

“Better,” Wooyoung rasps, a crack in his voice. “It’s better, f-fuck, San…”

San chuckles, coating two fingers with a generous amount of lube. “See? That’s what happens when you behave. Never say I don’t reward obedience.”

You can’t quite see from this angle, but you still know exactly when San pushes inside Wooyoung. He shudders at the intrusion with a pleased moan, turning his head to glance back at San. He grins, just a little cheeky, when San’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Did you—?” San blinks, but then his eyes curve into a pleased smile. “You already prepped for this, babe? So considerate,” he purrs, squeezing Wooyoung’s ass in approval. He goes for another finger, just a few passes, but quickly pulls back to slick up his cock instead. “I could get used to this, you’re spoiling me today.”

“It wasn’t for you,” Wooyoung retorts. “Don’t get carried awa-aah—!”

The words are knocked out of him when San lines up and buries himself in Wooyoung’s tight hole in one smooth thrust.

“What was that? Didn’t quite catch that, Woo,” San says, panting slightly. He palms Wooyoung’s ass, then strikes with just enough force to have Wooyoung garble a choked moan. “I’d almost think you were mouthing off again, but that can’t be right, can it?”

“You’ll know when I’m—fuck, nghh!”

San quickly sets a hard pace, and your eyes go wide at the aggressive snap of his hips, brutal and hypnotising. You stop teasing yourself, two fingers picking up speed to match him, the heel of your hand rubbing against your clit. It’s not enough, not nearly enough compared to what you see, and you groan in frustration, pushing yourself to stretch around a third finger, arousal smeared on your thighs and dripping onto the chair.

Wooyoung moans and whimpers loudly with every thrust — noises that you are already familiar with, but never heard so closely, so clearly before, no more walls in between you and him.

San’s teeth are gritted, sweat falling down his chin. He keeps up the punishing slam of his hips as he fucks into Wooyoung, whose upper body crumples into the bed under the relentless onslaught. His knuckles are pale from how hard his fingers clench onto the sheets, prominent veins in his forearms.

Shamelessly, you flip back your skirt entirely and use your free hand to press at your clit at a better angle, wishing desperately for a vibrator; for Wooyoung’s thighs to hump and grind against; for San’s cock plunging inside of you. Their mouths on you, devouring you whole. You whimper as the fantasies pile onto the reality in front of you, augmenting each other and pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

Wooyoung looks close to that edge too, his brow knitted, eyes squeezed shut; a faint glimmer of tears on his lashes. Drool gathers on the sheet under his mouth, nothing but garbled nonsense leaving his lips.

“Any smart words, hm?” San demands, grunting tightly from keeping up his pace.

Wooyoung can only moan, squirming in San’s hold. San’s fingers dig harder into his hips, forcing him to take and take and take his cock, over and over again.

There is a triumphant glint in San’s eyes at Wooyoung’s incoherent state, barely able to string two words together. “That’s what I thought,” he chuckles, laying down another smack on Wooyoung’s ass. You can see the reddening imprint even from where you’re sitting. “Never takes long before you’re fucked dumb on my cock.”

Wooyoung sobs, teething at the bedspread as a thick tear rolls down his cheek. You inhale a sharp breath at the sight, shooting through you like lightning.

San hears your gasp and freezes for a moment, immediately turning his head to you. His hips slow down to a shallow rocking, much to Wooyoung’s frustration, but San is focused on you; unsure whether your response is rooted in arousal or something else. “Colour,” he asks, firmly.

“Green,” Wooyoung whines loudly, “it’s green, you fucker, don’t stop now—”

San smacks his ass with a sharp hit. “I wasn’t talking to you,” he warns and Wooyoung shuts up — though he does not stay quiet, whimpery moans escaping him as he pushes his ass back.

But San pays him no further attention right now, looking at you. His expression is somewhere halfway between the hard dom of tonight and the gentle neighbour that you know; wanting to know for sure that he did not overstep in his degradation of Wooyoung.

You nod, vigorously. “Green,” you say in agreement, “very green.”

The way Wooyoung is losing himself in the thrill over this treatment, the way he revels in pushing San just to make him push back; he visibly gets off on the consequences of his bratty actions — and that is getting you off too.

San holds your gaze a moment longer, like he is gauging the honesty of your answer. Then he nods, with a wink so quick you almost miss it.

“You hear that, Woo? She likes me talking to you like this,” he purrs, leaning over to catch the tear on Wooyoung’s cheek with his tongue. He briefly rubs his nose against Wooyoung’s temple and straightens back up, quickly picking up the pace again.

But Wooyoung has lifted his head, coming just slightly out of his stupor at the sound of your voice. He looks in your direction; at perfect eye level with your leaking cunt, and the three fingers sunk deeply inside.

His face contorts with a pained groan, fingers twitching in the sheets. The lewd display of you fucking yourself on your fingers breaking through his last shred of self-control. “Oh fuck,” he hiccups. “Look at that wet pussy. F-fuck, been so long since I last buried myself in a juicy cunt like that.” He is full-on rambling now, his tongue thick and speech slurred.

You whimper, clenching around your fingers. No touching, you remind yourself. It’s just talk.

“Wanna suffocate between those thighs, god you’d taste so good I just know it,” he babbles, high on the thought of you, and the mental images blaze through your head like wildfire.

He would tease, you are dead certain of it; he’d drive you mad on purpose until you grab his hair and grind into his face, exactly as he wants you to — fuck, that gorgeous slope of his nose looks just perfect to ride up against your clit—

“Woo…” San says warningly, but he is deaf to it.

“Can I—” Wooyoung sobs, repeating the words like a chant, Can I— Can I— Can I—

“Y-yes.”

It slips past your lips before you can think it through. Quiet and desperate; but Wooyoung hears. San hears. He tuts sharply, mercilessly intercepting the shaky hand that Wooyoung reaches out to you.

“You know the rules, Woo,” he chides, but even without him looking your way, it still feels partially directed at you too. “Or are you so drunk on my cock that you can’t remember something that simple? Tell me what the rule is, now.”

“N-no touching…” Wooyoung whines.

San nods in approval, and rewards Wooyoung by reaching around to wrap a firm hand around his neglected cock. “Good,” he coos. “Look at you, you poor thing. So drunk on cock but still starved for pussy.” San’s eyes are on you now, and you’re taken aback by the hunger there, like he has mixed feelings on reinforcing the rule.

“Can’t even blame you for forgetting,” he says with quiet intensity, the smooth roll of his hips losing their aggressive edge, his hand working a little faster instead. Wooyoung makes a noise of complete debauchery, burrowing his face back into the bed with a desperate moan. “What a mess she is making, dripping on my chair,” San goes on, licking his lips, “all just for us. So cruel of me, dangling her in front of you like that. A pretty cunt like that deserves to be worshipped.”

The praise blooms hotly in your core, and with a flash you realise this is San’s way of reassuring you he is not upset about the push against boundaries. Suddenly the heat wraps into a sharp coil, and you’re not sure what does it; San’s hungry praise or the desperate stutter of Wooyoung’s hips as San jerks him off, slick wet noises mingling with shaky whimpers. They pick up in speed as Wooyoung rushes towards his own peak, dragging you down with him into his unravelling.

You fall apart right after he does, broken by his choked up sobs; by him futilely twisting and wriggling against San’s strong grip. Your thighs shake, toes curling, the slide of your fingers against your clit just right — but the sight of the two men in front of you even more potent. Your hips jerk up as pleasure surges through you, mouth falling slack in a silent cry.

Desperately, you try to keep your fingers moving, to ride out this wave for as long as you can; all while watching how San’s palm glistens wetly as he lets go of Wooyoung’s cock and grabs onto his waist, yanking him back as San fucks into him, shifting focus to his own release. Wooyoung is nothing but a crumpled, snivelling mess but still he groans eagerly, encouraging San to use him.

San does just so, leaning over Wooyoung’s prone body to bite at his neck as San ruts into him, panting for breath. San’s moans grow higher than you expected, his low grunts fading away; if he was putting on a tough front when you first came in the bedroom, he no longer is now, too preoccupied with chasing his high.

Somehow it feels vulnerable, his dominant coat slipping off his shoulders. Like it’s something you’re not supposed to see — except he does let you see, lets you watch how the persona falls away as he slowly comes undone. Your breath hitches, a sharp moan catching in your throat as suddenly the aftershocks of your first orgasm stir with renewed life; and just like that you cum again, biting down your noises as though not to disturb San, trembling quietly in the chair as you watch, entranced. San’s hips finally stutter with a loud whine and then he stills entirely, pressing his face between Wooyoung’s shoulder blades with a drawn-out shudder.

With a weak moan your hands fall away; your body spent as though you are the one who just got fucked within an inch of your life.

The bedroom goes silent, almost.

Everyone is catching their breath, and Wooyoung makes an unintelligible sound when San pulls out and gently lowers him onto the bed. San’s eyes go soft as he brushes the hair out of Wooyoung’s face, kissing him on the forehead before he straightens up.

While you and Wooyoung lay boneless, slowly recovering, San rolls his shoulders and stretches his limbs with a quiet grunt, then grabs a robe to put on. He goes back to the nightstand, this time for a bottle of water. You never even noticed the two glasses that he clearly prepared beforehand, along with a few washcloths. He fills a glass, dampens a cloth, and returns to Wooyoung’s side.

Wooyoung hums in thanks as San helps him upright and hands him the glass of water. He takes a slow sip while San starts to wipe the sweat and other bodily juices off his skin, a grin bubbling up to his lips as his energy recharges. “Did so well, Sannie,” he says, stealing little touches with his free hand while San cleans him up. Eyes glittering with pure adoration. “Took such good care of me, you always do.”

“Shush. Drink your water,” San chides him, but his cheeks glow red at Wooyoung’s steady babble of praises.

The intimate sight of San and Wooyoung in their little bubble causes an unexpected fuzzy warmth to bloom in your chest; touched that they also trust you as an audience for this part, the quiet aftermath. It’s making you strangely timid after all that just transpired, smoothing down your skirt almost subconsciously.

Finally San takes the now empty glass back from his boyfriend. He pulls a blanket across Wooyoung’s body and helps him settle on the bed, where Wooyoung immediately snuggles up against a pillow and lets his eyes rest. (For a guy who made a point of ‘being able to go more than one round’, he sure is out like a light.)

San leaves a final peck on the top of Wooyoung’s head and sits back up, then goes to fill the other glass. He brings it to you with a fresh cloth, and hands you the drink. You take it with a grateful nod, but blink in surprise when San leans in to dab the sweat off your forehead.

He seems to suddenly realise what he has done, freezes instantly, then yanks his hand back as though burned. “Sorry,” he mumbles awkwardly, whispering so he won’t wake Wooyoung back up. “Forgot the damn rule myself.”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him quietly, taking the cloth off his hands with a small, tired smile. You really didn’t mind. Did it even count now, during the aftercare?

San returns the smile. “Don’t tell Wooyoung, will you? I won’t hear the end of it,” he jokes, and you raise your thumb and forefinger to your lips to ‘zip’ them closed.

“Your secret is safe with me,” you promise solemnly, but the serious expression does not last for long; pushed out by the undeniable urge to tease San. “Besides, it’s nice to have some blackmail in case I ever need a favour from you.”

“Seriously?” he scoffs. “You’re as much of a handful as Wooyoung, aren’t you?”

“I’ll take that as a compliment!”

“Don’t tell him that, either,” San says with a soft laugh, shaking his head.

It is silent again, and you wonder if you should feel awkward, cleaning yourself up right in front of San. You should, right? But he isn’t watching you anymore, simply keeping you company in the quiet, and somehow the whole thing just feels easy and natural. So you wipe the washcloth across your thighs with a ginger touch, avoiding the places where you are most sensitive. Just a quick pass to clean the worst of the dried arousal and sweat sticking there. You’ll take a proper shower at home.

“About what happened…” San says after a while, when it’s clear you have settled and are breathing a little easier, “what Wooyoung said. What you said—”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry. We did agree on no touching beforehand, I shouldn’t have pushed it.”

He snorts. “You weren’t the only one pushing. But no, it’s fine. I told you, I don’t mind improvising, but in this case…” San hesitates, like he’s not sure how much to say. “Woo is a bit more impulsive than me during a scene. I… like clarity. I like knowing for sure that nobody does anything they might have second thoughts about later. Maybe I’m too cautious sometimes, but that’s how it works for me. So I didn’t shut it down because of you, I want you to know that. That was for me.”

“I understand. You feel responsible for him during a scene like this, right?”

“I am responsible for him. And for you too,” San gently corrects. “That’s how I see it, at least. It’s part of what I signed up for.”

“‘Signed up for’?” a hoarse voice echoes from the bed. “What am I, a job?”

“A full-time one, Woo,” San fires back without missing a beat, smiling fondly as he says it. “How long you’ve been listening in?”

Wooyoung’s head pops out from underneath the blanket, his red hair in complete disarray. But his eyes are already clearer than they were just a few minutes ago; maybe you should give him some credit for his recovery time after all.

“I don’t have second thoughts this time,” he mumbles, his speech still a little slurred.

San just nods in acknowledgement, and turns to you with an inquisitive look. The implied question is all too clear.

“No second thoughts here either,” you agree. No point in getting shy now.

“Well,” San says, and that easy, confident grin is back on his face, “then I guess we’ll have to do this again sometime.”

“Mm, good,” Wooyoung says, turning over to his other side to get settled again. Then he glances back at San, a spark of trouble in his eyes. “Do you need a refresher on the ground rules before that happens, Sannie? Just in case you forget any?”

“Dammit,” San groans under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. Brow furrowed in pain, he gives you a reproachful look for the laugh that you unsuccessfully try to muffle. “So much for your blackmail,” he sighs.

598 notes · View notes

frogtanii · 4 years

Text

embarrassed ft. matsukawa issei

wc. 2.7k (???)

warnings. SMUT, not proofread lol, mutual pining (??), friends to lovers (???), cunnilingus lmao, no dom/sub dynamics, well actually dom&sub issei if you squint rlly hard hehe, kinda cute, embarrassed issei <3, also one (1) WAP reference

an. it’s 2:30 am and i have no idea why i wrote this and who for???? i got the idea from a 🦋😳🙈✨ audio and was immediately inspired idk, sorry if it’s bad i lichrally have no idea since i didn’t read it after it was done :p

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

it wasn’t like matsukawa issei to be embarrassed.

he was handsome, intelligent, and funny, not to mention he never left women wanting after a night with him.

issei was the entire package and he knew it.

beyond superficiality though, he was happy with his life. he had a great group of friends, a nice apartment all to himself and a completely normal job.

yes, being a funeral home employee wasn’t the most glamorous career a person could have but he was happy. besides, it never deterred him from getting a warm body to sleep with which was a win in his book.

all in all? his life was great!

so why did he have to go and screw it all up?

issei blames makki and the dumb flyer for the reason his life went to shit. (maybe he’s being a little dramatic, but let him have his oikawa moment.)

he was minding his own business when his best friend (recently turned enemy) burst through his apartment door with a piece of paper in his hand and a fire in his eyes.

“dude, look at this!” issei rolled his eyes, putting down his casket catalogue and turning to meet takahiro’s gaze.

“why hello to you too. remind me why i gave you a key again?”

“because you love me and because i bring shit like this to you. look!” with another long and suspiciously tooru-like sigh, issei took the crumpled paper from makki and immediately stopped in his tracks.

“makki... what the fuck is this?”

written in large pink letters and a flowery, borderline illegible font was the name, coffee and cunnilingus. upon further inspection and careful reading, it revealed itself to be a little cafe opening up about 10 minutes from issei’s apartment complex who were looking to hire “young, attractive men who are proficient at eating pussy.”

issei could feel his eyes narrow and his mouth drop open in shock as he repeated his question. “the fuck is this?”

makki shook his head excitedly, tapping to another portion of the flyer that matsukawa had not yet read. “no, no dude, just look at how much they’re paying per hour.” issei begrudgingly obliged but the minute his eyes touched the (Massive™) number, he felt a little faint.

it was a lot of money. more than the funeral home was paying, that’s for sure. with that kind of money he could move out of this suddenly dingy seeming apartment and into a nice flat in the city were he’d always wanted to live. maybe he could buy himself a nice watch or even a high-end suit to replace the one from his highschool graduation (aka the only suit he owns). with that kind of money, he could erase his student debt 3 years ahead of schedule and get his mom into a nicer place.

it was these thoughts that clouded issei’s head as he found himself standing in front of a cute looking building, matching the address on the flyer. i’ll only be working part time, he thought as he pushed the door open to reveal an equally impressing interior with curtained booths and a wide variety of coffee on the menu. i’m only doing it for extra money, he thought as he shook the owner’s hand after he finished his successful interview. no one can ever know, he thought as he dressed himself in the uniform on his first day.

thus began issei’s super secret side hustle where he ate women out for cash.

sounds worse when you say it outright but it was just working. he was good at it, the women liked him, and he was making BANK. still, there were challenges. some women refused to bathe before coming and he would have to send them to the restroom to freshen up which absolutely ruined his chances for a good tip. some women would become heavily infatuated with him, believing that they were in some sort of forbidden romance. he learned to turn them down quick and easy to avoid conflict in the workplace which furthered his space as a boss favorite. but his hardest challenge by far was meeting you.

you were one of hanamaki’s friends, having met him at one of his brief stints in retail on his search for a job. he had gotten fired but you both stayed in touch after he left, becoming really close, really fast.

issei had met you first when takahiro had invited you to the biweekly seijoh third-years movie night. at first, he had been pissed as an “outsider” had never been invited before and he was worried you’d ruin the vibe, especially since it was the first time in months that oikawa would be able to join them. makki vouched for you through and through and the other boys were okay with it so you were in. the second he met you, all his fears of awkwardness and discomfort faded away.

you were great.

you were hilarious, pretty, and could keep up with makki’s harsh jokes, tooru’s diva attitude, iwa’s tendency to hit (hard), and issei’s original disdain. by the end of the night, he had completely forgotten why he didn’t want you there in the first place.

from then on, you were a staple in their little friend group. you were added to the groupchat where you balanced memes with spouts of deep wisdom and you were ever so reliable, always there if any of them needed it.

yeah, you were great. that’s where the problems started.

issei’s feelings for you quickly went from platonic to romantic, faster than you can say godzilla. he hadn’t even recognized that he was falling for you until it was way too late. normally, he wouldn’t have a problem confessing to you but because of his newly found ...occupation, he was too nervous. how would you take it that he was basically a glorified prostitute? ok, that wasn’t exactly what he did but still! you’d probably find him disgusting and horrible and leave the friend group forever. then he’d have to deal with oikawa’s senseless whining and makki’s subtle digs, blaming him for your departure. yeah, he wasn’t going to put himself through that so he decided to keep his mouth shut.

too bad he didn’t have any control over makki’s.

you and takahiro had been on a little friend-date at mcdonald’s after you’d had a long and frustrating shift. you just wanted to vent, expressing your general hate for your job and desperate need for stress relief.

that’s when makki opened his (big, stupid) mouth and suggested that you visit a little place called coffee and cunnilingus. you nearly choked on your fries at the title before quickly pressing him for details. thankfully, he had the decency not to expose that issei worked there but he had not done a good enough job convincing you not to go there. not that it would’ve mattered. your curiosity was peaked and your libido was high so why not try out the weird cafe where you let a complete stranger stick his tongue inside you?

it was settled. you were going to go and you were going to get eaten out and you were going to like it!

or at least that is what you repeated in your head as you walked to the address on your phone before taking a deep breath and walking inside.

“hello, welcome to coffee and cunnilingus, how might i pleasure you this afterno— yn?” issei’s eyes widened as they met your equally bewildered ones, the both of you staring at each other in shock.

“matsukawa-san, is everything alright?” a large hand rested on issei’s shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts and forcing him to break (horrified) eye contact with you and move it onto his boss who was now looking down on him menacingly.

“y-yes sir, everything is fine!” he squeaked out, hating the way his voice cracked on his first syllable. his boss looked at him suspiciously but thankfully didn’t press.

“well, since nothing is wrong, take this beautiful young woman to a booth where you will assist her!” the hand resting on issei’s shoulder slowly squeezed, making him wince in pain. the pain was only an afterthought though to the larger implication of his boss’ words. he’s going to assist you. assist as in pleasure. pleasure as in eat you out.

holy shit, you were going to pass out.

apparently, issei had the same thought process as you, his face whitening like a sheet. “m-me? but sir i-“

“do your job matsukawa-san!” his boss cut him off with a forced smile. all issei could do was nod and silently lead you off to a closed booth near the back or lose his job. you stayed close behind him but remained quiet, absolutely terrified of breaking the silence and ruining the bubble you had created.

you finally reached the booth in question. issei gently opened the curtain and motioned for you to get it, to which you obliged and he followed just behind.

the moment the curtain closed, you were enveloped in an awkward silence and tense atmosphere, neither of you speaking or looking at one another for fear of one of you running out. after what felt like hours, you opened your mouth to speak, not realizing issei had thought the same thing.

“so-“

“i-“

you finally made eye contact with him and burst into the laughter, the tension quickly broken. it took a full minute or two for the both of you to calm down, the absurdity of the entire situation finally catching up with you.

“you first,” issei said, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes while fixing you with an intense gaze swirled with an emotion you couldn’t quite place but it made butterflies bubble up in your stomach. you quickly turned your gaze to the comfortable seat beneath you, your fingers playing with the red stitching while you thought of what you had wanted to say.

“are you any good?” your hand flew up to cover your mouth as your cheeks filled with heat, the embarrassment of your words catching up to you. you hadn’t meant to say that but when you opened your mouth to apologize, you were stopped in your tracks by the lovely sound of issei’s full-bodied laughter filling the tiny booth.

you had heard it just moments earlier but without the sound of your own giggles drowning it out, you couldn’t help but think that he sounded beautiful. you basked in the sound as it slowly trailed off back into silence. now it was you doing the staring making issei look off with a red face and a heart threatening to pound out of his chest.

“y-yeah i’m pretty good. you want to try? me, i mean?” his words nearly leave you gasping, your brain working overtime to try and comprehend what he was saying to you.

“only if y-you want to? what do you want issei?” you whispered, suddenly unable to find your voice. you wanted this to be okay for him too; you didn’t want him to be uncomfortable even though you wanted him more than you could verbally express. despite the embarrassment and fear of rejection lingering under your skin, you stared at him, awaiting his answer. a tiny minuscule nod came from him and you internally shook your head. you needed to hear him.

“i need you to say it, issei.” your words, while quiet, were firm and issei felt himself hardening in his uniform slacks. he swallowed in his increasingly drying mouth before opening his mouth to respond.

“i want to eat your pussy. can i?”

shit.

your own voice was stolen by his words and all you could give him was a nod before he was on you.

issei didn’t waste any time falling to his knees, pulling your panties down, and hiking your skirt up to your stomach, revealing your glistening folds to his hungering eyes.

“fuck, you’re so wet,” is all the warning you get before he’s licking a long stripe up you from entrance to clit before he’s sucking the hard, sensitive nub into his mouth. your eyes immediately rolled back into your head, your hips instinctively bucking up into his mouth while a gasped moan of issei left your lips.

if he could bottle your moans and use them whenever he pleased, he would, the sound sending another pulse of arousal to his already hard cock. he was tempted to reach down and pull himself out of his trousers but he denied himself. this was about you; you and your wet ass pussy.

issei continued his ministrations on your clit, circling it with his tongue before pulling it into his mouth while his hand was ready to get busy. it crept up your thigh, sending shivers down your spine until it reached your sopping entrance, two of his fingers teasing the slit before delving in to the third knuckle.

the moan you let out is borderline animalistic as your body sends another wave of slick pulsing out over his hand. he groaned into your cunt at your tightness, his mind only imagining him deep within you while you squeeze him for all he’s got.

the amount of slick you produced made it easy for him to add a third finger, thrusting them in and out while also crooking them upwards in search for your special spot that would have you seeing stars. it took him a little prodding but he knew he found it when your back arched, your hand came down into his hair, and you whimpered out a string of curses.

“that’s it baby, cmon, you’re doing so well, wanna see you come apart for me,” he all but growled against your clit before delving back in with a higher intensity, his desperation for you to come winning out his desire to tease you and drag this out as long as possible.

with his incessant pressure on your g-spot and his lips suctioned around your clit, it wasn’t long before he got what he wanted.

“isseiisseiisseiissei, i’m coming, i’m coming-oh fuck!” you screamed as you clenched and gushed all over his fingers, your entire body caving in with the intensity of your orgasm. his fingers were practically forced from your spasming cunt but they quickly found a place rubbing your nub side to side as fast as possible. the overwhelming urge to pee came over you and you shook your head, trying to push his hand away.

“no, no, give it to me, i know you can,” issei groaned, his eyes locked on your dripping pussy. the pleasure he was giving came to a head at his words and you felt a clear liquid escape from your tired, overstimulated cunt, your mouth opening in a silent moan before collapsing back on the seat.

the sight proved to be too much for issei as he felt his body tense, his own orgasm washing over him as he emptied himself into his boxers. he fell back onto the ground, in shock of himself coming entirely untouched. he’d never done it before but of course it was you that would bring it out of him. a smile spread across his face at the thought, his head tilting back as he laughed, catching the attention of your worn body.

“what’re y’laughing at?” you slurred, cringing a little at how fucked out you sounded but issei didn’t seem to mind, his face glowing while covered in your slick and cum.

“nothing, nothing, but uh, i have a question.” you felt your heart leap to your chest, your mind already racing with the possibilities. he’s going to say this was a mistake, that we’re just better off as friends. oh god, what if he says i stunk? or the worst pussy he’s ever had? or what if—

“want to go and get a coffee?” he asked, the smile still plastered on his face but with an uncharacteristic hint of shyness. the butterflies were back in your stomach as you shyly nodded before allowing him to help clean you up and standing, not missing how he slipped your lacy underwear deep into one of his pockets.

issei’s hand found its way into yours as he said goodbye to his coworkers and boss before leading you out of the cafe, watching you tell an animated retelling of the bullshit that occurred at your job with a warm grin on his face and pink cheeks.

it might not be like matsukawa issei to be embarrassed but if it resulted in getting you by his side? he would do it again and again.

1K notes · View notes

makeste · 3 years

Note

hello! I’ve seen some debate as to whether the 2nd meant allies in general would bolster izuku and although I do think that’s true (ofc any sort of support system that he lets himself rely on would bolster him) I feel like if that was what was meant it would’ve been made clearer? maybe instead of just katsuki showing up, the final panel would’ve had several students burst onto the scene. what are your thoughts?

agreed. and incidentally this is another big reason why it's not Toga. if it was her then Horikoshi wouldn't have devoted any time to OFA II's little hype speech. it just makes it kind of pointless, unless this whole time we've been sleeping on Toga's hidden ability to bolster Deku lmao.

but anyways, yeah. and I mean, Two's commentary here is really just acknowledgement of something we've long since known already. Kacchan is the one who will ultimately be able to reach Deku. we don't actually need a piece of dialogue to tell us this, because the manga has been showing it to us since day one. his resume is fucking stacked. I mean, let's go through it.

he is mean.

I love this you guys. I honest to god love it. because the thing is, if you ask anyone what Kacchan's absolute worst quality is, this would be the obvious answer, right? "he's an asshole" lmao.

but that's exactly what we need right now!! someone who's not afraid to tell it like it is, and won't try to sugarcoat things. someone who's not afraid to argue back and risk hurting someone's feelings. because right now Deku is walking all over anyone who can't do that. All Might tries to feed him lunch and he's like "nah I'm good, anyways bye." Endeavor tries to tell him to rest and he's all "I'm fine" and fucking hangs up the phone. nuh uh. enough of that. what we need is someone who will call him out on his shit. "hah!? don't tell me you're fine when it's obvious to anyone you can barely stand on your own two feet, dumbass."

he is stubborn.

kind of ties into the other thing, but yeah. right now we need a bullheaded asshole who won't take no for an answer if he thinks he's right. good luck trying to sweet talk your way out of this one, Deku.

he understands the situation.

this one is important, because in fairness, simply standing in front of Deku and saying "you shall not pass" isn't gonna be enough to actually accomplish anything here. ultimately he's going to have to be able to reason with Deku too. and so in that respect, it certainly doesn't hurt that Kacchan is someone who understands the OFA situation as well as anyone, and has always had clear judgment about it. he understands the threat of AFO ("they all died young"), and he understands the burden of All Might's legacy. he knows what Deku is dealing with, and that's going to give him an edge when it comes to finding that elusive-yet-critical talk no jutsu knockout blow.

he's been where Deku is now.

Kacchan knows a thing or two about burdens. granted, they've more often than not been ones that he's put on himself, but that didn't make them any less heavy. Deku right now is struggling not just with his feelings of responsibility, but also with all of the misplaced guilt that's feeding into it. AFO is targeting him. if innocent people get caught in the crossfire then that's on him. every minute that AFO stays out there getting stronger and causing more chaos is all on him, because he hasn't defeated him yet. and so on and so forth.

and Katsuki knows what that's like. because he blamed himself for what happened to All Might. that feeling of "if I'd only been stronger" is one that he's intimately acquainted with. that feeling of blaming yourself, of not being able to look someone you care about in the eye because you think it's your fault they got hurt. this is something he knows. this is a road he's already been down. and so if Deku tries to pull any "you don't understand" nonsense, Kacchan is uniquely situated to immediately shoot that shit right down.

he's immune to low blows.

lol I keep thinking of all the different counterarguments that Deku could make, and all the different ways in which Kacchan is perfectly equipped to handle them. anyway, so this particular thing is a very recent development, but very fortunately timed. so as we all know, Kacchan was a first class dick to Deku during their childhood. something which Deku, with his abnormally kind and forgiving nature, has never once confronted Kacchan about, even though he would have absolutely had the right. but anyway, so here's the thing though -- right now I fully believe that Deku can and will do or say just about anything in order to get Kacchan and the others to leave. and that includes hurting them in order to save them. so it would not surprise me at all if Deku goes as far as to throw Katsuki's old, cruel, selfish behavior back in his face as part of a last-ditch effort to get him to back down. desperate times and all that.

and maybe there was a time when that actually would have worked. but here's the other thing -- we know something Deku doesn't. namely, that Kacchan has recently leveled up emotionally and has finally unlocked his atonement quest. he finally understands that it's not all about him. which means that it doesn't matter even if Deku pulls out the big guns. he may hurt his feelings, but he's not going to scare him off, because Kacchan's focus right now is on atonement, not forgiveness. he's not doing this for a pat on the head. he's doing it because it's the right thing to do. and no amount of insults will be able to sway him from that.

he learned from the best.

I said this in another post a couple of weeks back, but yeah. Angsty Nomad Deku has nothing on early Kacchan in terms of pushing people away. early Kacchan was the motherfucking king of pushing peeps away. if you so much as LOOKED at this kid in such a way that SUGGESTED you might even be THINKING about possibly trying to save him, he would straight up throw a ten-year hissy fit lmao. Deku's "All Might, you don't have to tag along anymore"s ain't got SHIT on all of Kacchan's "STAY BACK DEKU"s and "I'D RATHER LOSE!!!"s and "OMFG HOW DARE YOU BE THE ONLY PERSON TO TRY TO SAVE ME FROM THIS RAMPAGING SLUDGE MAN WHO'S ABOUT TO SUFFOCATE ME TO DEATH"s. Kacchan is the undisputed goat here lol.

but anyway, so what this means is that he has accumulated a whole HOST of iconic lines and fateful parallels which he can throw back in Deku's face at a moment's notice. and the best part is that he learned it all from THIS EXACT MOTHERFUCKER, RIGHT HERE. what is Deku even gonna do!! argue against his own past actions?? "well, uh, I guess now that you mention it I should have just sat back and watched you die all those times" OH REALLY?? YOU DON'T SAY. THAT SOUNDS SO CONVINCING.

and so guess what, Deku -- if Kacchan was worth saving, then you're worth saving too. it's an ironclad argument. congratulations son you played yourself.

he always wins.

okay so real talk, we all know that what's really driving Deku right now is his fear of losing people. he's helpless against that. he saw Kacchan get stabbed right before his eyes and it fucked him up. he saw all these other people getting hurt and killed because he couldn't save them, and he straight up could not deal with those emotions at all. he's scared. he's more afraid of that happening again than of anything else. and AFO knows that, and that's why he's resorted to his current tactics, which have isolated Deku even further and caused him to push even All Might away.

what Deku is missing right now, and what he needs to have restored, is trust. trust is the antidote to fear. and when you're as scared as Deku is, it takes an extraordinary amount of assurance in order to ease those fears. basically you don't want to place your faith in anything less than an absolutely sure thing.

but Kacchan is exactly that. this is the exact type of situation that Kacchan's "aiming for the top" overkill confidence was made for. he's the one who never loses!! the hero who's going to surpass all other heroes!! Deku inherited All Might's compassion, but Kacchan inherited his determination. Kacchan is someone who brings reassurance. his confidence is unwavering. and in the end, I think it will be strong enough to pull even Deku back out from the darkness.

he is strong.

Kacchan is Deku's rival in every sense of the word, and I fully believe he's capable of matching him step for step even now. and so Deku can try to push him away, but Kacchan is capable of withstanding that force and staying his ground. Deku can try to run, but Kacchan still has him matched for speed. and as a last resort, Deku can even try to defeat him -- but Kacchan won't ever concede to defeat.

and all of this ties back into what I was saying about trust. because Kacchan is strong. strong enough not to die. strong enough to live. strong enough to not make others worry about him. and that's what Deku so desperately needs right now in order to finally let go of his fears. Deku needs someone who can get him to trust in others again, and to do that, he has to be able to trust in their strength.

and last but not least...

he has a secret weapon up his sleeve.

several, as a matter of fact. his hero name reveal. his apology, if he chooses to give it now (though I could see him waiting for a more sincere moment, rather than whipping it out now when it could be misconstrued as a manipulation tactic). but perhaps most importantly...

never underestimate the power of an iconic role reversal. because that's what I'm getting at here, if it wasn't clear lol. this probably would have worked better if I had a picture of him actually reaching out to Deku. but I mean, that's kind of the point lol. I don't have one because he hasn't done it yet. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE. good luck withstanding that, Deku.

so yeah. look at all that. he really is a one-man Deku-saving army. which is not to say that the other kids won't have a part to play as well, or that it's not important for them to be there, because it is. but as far as the lead role goes, it's Kacchan. like that astronaut meme guy says. always has been.

oh and as a bonus he was smart enough to finally leave the mask at home today lol. LET DEKU SEE THE SINCERITY IN YOUR EYES. YESSSSSSS.

#bnha 318 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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akaashigiri · 3 years

Text

Sleepy Jaegers

summary: eren and y/n are at a gathering at armin’s place, and their 2 year old is exhausted. eren is equally as exhausted.

pairing: dad!eren jaeger x fem!reader

word count: 1.69k

warnings: none, fluffff

a/n: sigh my baby fever possessed me to write this 💔 might make armin a father as well if people end up liking this one (i will anyway) 😋

These gatherings were almost like a ritual to the group.

There wasn’t ever a specific place they met, they would always gather in different places, wether it’d be the beach, a park, or at one of their homes. It didn’t matter where it took place, just as long as everyone was there. Everyone was obligated to come.

So of course that includes the littlest Jaeger.

It was mid September, and although the weather wasn’t bad at all, some didn’t really feel like going out to public places like the local park, so the group decided on Armin’s new place, since Sasha and Annie still have yet to see it (their homes are farther from the rest)

They were all gathered in the spacious living room; Jean and Sasha on the long couch, while Mikasa and Armin sat on the smaller one. Historia and Ymir shared the beige-colored chair in the corner of the room, while Annie sat on one of the kitchen stools as she watched Y/N and Connie do the dishes (Armin insisted, but the two almost threatened him if he were to touch a dish).

As soon as Eren walked in, he all but restricted anyone from sitting on the big beige reclining sofa, claiming that he deserved it for helping Armin pick it out. Eren was grateful for going to Ikea that day with Armin to pick out the sofa he was now slouched on, recliner out and all. It was now his favorite spot in the whole house (besides the kitchen, since he loved playing around with the smart refrigerator).

As Y/N passed another dish for Connie to rinse and dry, she suddenly felt a tug on her pants, looking down to meet the tired eyes of her daughter.

She was quick to rinse and dry her hands to pick her up, giving all of her attention to the little girl. “Aw, what’s wrong Mimi? Everything alright?” She asked, already noticing the fatigue on her face.

She only snuggled into her mother’s neck, giving her the simple response of, “Tired.” Her vocabulary was fairly short, due to the fact that she was only 2 and learned her words from the ones around her (Eren got in big trouble the day Y/N heard the word ‘shit’ come out of her daughter’s mouth).

Y/N wasn’t surprised she got tired easily today, since Jean gave her more candy then Y/N would usually allow. And with the way her, Ymir, and Mikasa were running around in the yard earlier today, Y/N already saw this coming.

“You’re tired?” she asked again, earning a nod from the crook of her neck. “Okay, mommy’s almost done. Go sit next to daddy until I finish, okay?” She tells her, moving her head back to face her daughter again. Myra nodded, allowing her mother to put her down.

Walking tiredly, Myra slowly moved through the kitchen and made her way to the living room, spotting her father laidback in the corner of the room, limbs sprawled out on the sofa.

Eren wasn’t sure if it was the father instincts, but he was the first to notice her presence in the room, stopping the ghost story Jean swears is real to bring his full attention to his daughter.

“Mimi’s come to save us, everyone!” Eren exclaims, throwing jazz hands up as everyone joined and cheered her on for simply walking in. Jean didn’t like what Eren was implying, but clapped nonetheless.

“You’re not funny. Aren’t dads supposed to tell good jokes?” He questioned, attempting to steal a fry from Sasha’s plate, but failing miserably as she only swats his hand away.

“No Jean, I think it’s the other way around, they’re supposed to be corny.” Armin butts in, watching with a smile as Myra finally starts walking towards her father.

Eren could already see the fatigue on her face, holding his arms out for her once she got a little closer. “What’s up Mimi, you tired?” Eren questioned, laughing as she instead of answering, simply lifted her arms up for him to take her.

She responds with a nod, her hair falling over her face as she was lifted onto his lap. As soon as she was situated, she wasted no time in making herself comfortable, wiggling out of her dad’s grasp and laying her stomach down on his, her head right above where his heart was.

“Nevermind.” he sighs, making the whole room burst out into laughter. This only made Myra whine, the loudness distrupting her attempt at sleeping. “Sorry Myra!” Sasha whispered, finally giving a fry to Jean afterwards.

“I wonder what got her so tired.” Annie questions, making Jean sink into the couch out of guilt as Eren sends him an irritated glance.

“Jean went and gave her a sugar rush before we got here. It was absolute hell.” Eren’s eyes furrow in frustration as he remembers earlier today and how hard it was for him to catch a nap without his energetic 2 year old jumping all over him. All while Jean was happily eating lunch with his wife.

“Okay, but I didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to have that much candy! Kids eat candy like crazy, right?” He attempts to defend himself, looking around the room for support, only to be met with silence.

“Yeah, thing is she’s not a kid! She’s a toddler! Dumbass.” he mumbles the last part, hoping that Y/N somehow wouldn’t hear. But she always found a way how.

“Can someone please slap Eren for me?” She yells from the kitchen. “Stop cursing in front of Myra!”

Eren has no time to defend himself as volunteers step up to do what their friend asked, but Mikasa was the quickest, and Eren was even quicker. He swiftly grabs Myra’s frog blanket from the bag sat beside him and hids his face in it, saving it from the harsh blow of Mikasa’s hand.

“You’re lucky I didn’t miss completely, I just don’t wanna wake Myra.” she confesses, walking back to her seat.

“God, I cant believe we almost named her after you.” Eren groaned, blanket still clutched in hand.

“Mimi’s close enough for me.” She smiles, noticing the way Myra starts to squirm a bit. “Throw the blanket over her, I think she’s cold.” She suggests, bringing Eren’s attention back to the little girl on his chest.

Eren is quick to unravel the rather big blanket from his grasp and take it in both hands to bring it in the air, watching it fall perfectly onto her small figure. The blanket basically covered his whole torso, the end tickling his neck a bit.

“Thanks again for the blanket, Historia. She loves it so much, a little too much.” he says, feeling his daughter move under the blanket so that her little arms were wrapped around his torso as far as she could go. “She won’t use the one I got her anymore.” he says with a slight frown.

The group laughs again, but quietly this time, not wanting the little girl to possibly wake up in a fit.

“I wouldn’t blame her, to be honest.” Jean shrugs, giving Eren a knowing glance, as well as a sly smirk. He knows how mad Y/N would get if he were to disobey her, especially a few minutes after she scolded him. Since Y/N was only a few feet away, Eren aggresively sticks his middle finger up to the man. It’s not like Myra could see through the blanket anyway.

“Are you gonna finish your ghost story, Jean?” Annie asked, although she didn’t believe a word. She just wants to see him make a fool out of himself.

Jeans eyes light up, snapping his fingers together as he sits upstraight again, ready to go into full detail once again. “Right! Okay, okay, so right when I went to shave my beard...”

Eren let’s Jean’s apparent ghost encounter story fade in the background, focusing on the shallow breaths coming from his daughter. He felt himself getting a little drowsy himself, as if her sleepiness was seeping into him.

He doesn’t waste time lifting the blanket a bit to wrap a protective arm around her small figure under it, adjusting his posture on the sofa and crossing his ankles over one another. His let his neck sink into the back of the couch, letting his head go as well so he facing the ceiling. With the warmth of the blanket and the little girl under it, he couldn’t help but close his drowsy eyes as well, finally giving in.

A few minutes pass and Jean is done telling his story, but of course, no one believes him. All except Historia. “Thank you, Historia! See I’m telling the truth. Morons.” Jean rolls his eyes at the way Armin and Sasha curl up as they laughed, Mikasa and Annie trying their best to hold in theirs.

Jean soon notices the person who would’ve regurlarly had the most to say was being awfully quiet. Getting ready to scold him for not listening, Jean is met with a site he has to admit, is the cutest thing he’s seen all year.

Eren was deep in slumber, soft snores coming from him and the little girl that rested as peacefully as he did on top of him. The print of his arm around her could be seen through the green blanket, as well as both of their steady breaths. They looked so comfortable, it would be a pain for them to get up soon, which they would have to eventually.

“Awww, they’re adorable!!” Historia exclaims from the other side of the room, which seemed to catch Y/N’s attention all the way from the kitchen.

“What’s happening? Is something cute happening? Someone take pictures!” She exclaimed, wanting to abandon the plates and take them herself, but thinks that would be rather rude to leave poor connie alone.

“On it!” Sasha and Jean say in unison. Both are quick to pull out their phones, Jean getting the more unappealing angles, while Sasha actually put some effort into it and snapped a few photos.

These were being sent to every single person on her contact list.

this was written at like 2 am sorry if there are typos i swear i reread 💔

also i’m currently working on a mob fic idk if ppl still like those but i most definitely do so watch out for that one :p

hope y’all liked this one lol

-aysha <3

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alicenttully · 3 years

Text

“sansa’s feminity is defined by social constructs that the man made world created. its materialistic and performative and restrictive. it harms all women. thats not to say women can’t... enjoy certain aspect of it but the objective is female subjugation and that cannot be disregarded.”

There is just a.... lot with that statement.

First off, you can really tell that OP does not understand Sansa as a character (or girls like her) when they say her femininity is “performative”.

Sansa’s interests in particular things aren’t her attempting to put on some kind of “performance”, it is a natural part of who she is. it would exist regardless of whenever she is canon Westeros or in a modern AU. Could you argue that Sansa has been shaped/influenced by the women around her (Catelyn, Septa Mordane, Margaery, Cersei) Yes, to a certain extent. Because Sansa “being a lady at three” (and going by normal developmental stages, would have been in diapers not that long ago) again suggests to me this is who she is inherently. Using words “performative” suggests falseness and that doesn’t work because a proper look at Sansa’s chapters would understand that her interests/desires/behaviour is sincere.

Regarding her femininity being “materialistic” …. In that same post, the OP defines Sansa’s femininity as “fancy dresses, pretty embroidery, floral perfumes, dainty desserts, slippers on polished floors, music and dancing, love stories, traditional marriage, courtly intrigue, smiling when you want to cry”

I look at the statement above with OP’s own definition of Sansa’s femininity… and I’m like, where’s the bridge?

This is where you actually need to understand the words that you are using instead of just throwing them in to make yourself sound revolutionary. The word “materialistic” means “excessively concerned with physical comforts or the acquisition of wealth”.

None of that really applies to the things OP listed. First off, a lot of the items they listed “floral perfumes, dainty desserts, music and dancing” could actually be considered a form of self-care- that is to maintain “one’s emotional and spiritual health.” Looking after yourself doesn’t just mean keeping a proper sleeping schedule or drinking water because self-care is unique to the person. Self-care is about that person making themselves feel good. It is not materialistic.

Let’s move onto “fancy dresses and pretty embroidery”. I don’t think liking “fancy dresses” makes you materialistic. If it is, then why are so many Arya stans insistent on arguing that Arya actually likes dresses? Because being materialistic is defined as being “excessively concerned” so in other words, “overly, extremely” – so basically obsession. Sansa loves pretty clothes, but not to the point of being obsessed. She understands the need for her to dress in simple clothing in the Vale, even if she resents it. She was genuinely surprised by the dress fitting because Cersei neglected her clothes.

“Pretty embroidery” … I would argue (and somebody correct me if I’m wrong) but embroidery is related to sewing… and that’s actually a really important, practical skill that transcends class lines (something I’ve talked about before)? People in Westeros – even the rich- simply do not have the luxury where if they were me, the local shopping centre is 10 minutes away by car and at this centre, I have thousands of dresses to choose from right then and there (if money wasn’t an issue) Instead, the clothing that Sansa and Arya wear (both at the beginning of their stories and throughout), as well as the clothing of Catelyn, Cersei, Arianne, Margaery, Daenerys, Beth Cassel, Jeyne Poole, to the small-folk (i.e. Pia) also took the time to make- but the difference lies in that Westeros hasn’t undergone a textile revolution where clothing can be produced at a mass-scale. That dress Sansa wore for her wedding? Took weeks to make, and if something had happened it the day before- they would not be able to get another copy of it elsewhere.

Furthermore, there’s also the fact that sewing circles/doing embroidery together can actually be a way for women to bond, share conversations, perhaps hatch plans because it is done within a feminine space that their husbands/brothers/fathers don’t cross.

“Music and dancing”. How? Why? Loving music and dancing don’t make you materialistic. Loving music and dancing- things related to the arts, is deeply human. It brings joy to people, helps us to connect with others. People often use music as a form of self-healing. The same for dancing, which enables people to express and tell entire stories/send messages through movement.

Fuck off with this “materialistic” bullshit.

“Love stories”.

LOL, what? How is liking love stories “materialistic”?

And if it is… then why are Arya stans also huge Gendrya shippers? (Which I also ship btw, although I definitely wouldn’t say I’m invested. I can take it or leave it.)

“it harms all women. that’s not to say women…can’t enjoy certain aspects of it but the objective is female subjugation and that cannot be disregarded.”

The issue with that statement is that it is IMO putting the blame entirely on women/girls who happen to enjoy these things naturally (for example, I like to wear pretty clothes because it makes me feel good) rather than the men in their society with the actual power.

Ned Stark might have indulged his 9year old with sword lessons but it is abundantly clear through his POV that he saw it as a passing interest. “She would tire of it soon”. Tywin wouldn’t even consider doing the same for Cersei. Selwyn Tarth finally relented after Brienne broke three-four betrothals.

Sansa or any girl liking “pretty dresses, perfume, music, dancing, love stories” is not the thing driving female subjugation. You know what I tend to think of when reading the books? I think of how girls can be forced into marriages they don’t want/have their entire futures decided for them at the age of 11/12, be subjected to marital rape, queens being abused by their husband’s Kingsguard, a sex worker being murdered in bed, an eighteen year old girl’s virginity treated as a contest, that same girl being told by Tarly not to look to him for justice if she gets raped, the fact that smallfolk women if Kingslanding had fallen would have been at most risk of violence/rape, the fact that women can be excepted to keep having more children even though it would be dangerous for them to do (Naerys, Alysanne)

Just… the amount of conscendation and arrogance in that statement (as well as the entire post) is staggering. imagine thinking you’re writing some sort of feminist post only to degrade women/girls like sansa because they don’t fit your way of being. you do realize you are no different than the adults in arya’s life who keep trying to force her to be someone she’s not? smdh

#sansa stark #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #game of thrones #got #anti arya stans #anti arya stark #not really but to be safe #anti gendrya #ive often seen this post floating around and its always made me cringe #anti asoiaf fandom

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mettywiththenotes · 3 years

Text

Soldiers and Noble Deaths

Okay so I have a small explanation as to why Midnight’s death isn’t being talked about. I’ve seen a few people talk about how Midnight and the deaths of other Heroes got swept under the rug and I think I know the reason why

When a Hero dies, it is considered a noble death. This was stated back in the Training Camp arc, when Izuku learns about Kouta’s parents

“As Heroes, there couldn’t have been a more sublime and glorious way for them to pass on. They died a truly heroic death.”

“His parents were praised and celebrated for their actions.”

I can see it really being the same thing with Midnight. Her death was horrible, but noble. Heroic, even

And I feel like this neglect of Midnight’s death is actually more of a problem with society rather than the pacing of the story (lol don’t quote me on that, I’m just coming up with explanations)

There are thousands of Heroes in the world with the “noble” profession of protecting civilians. They sign up for their jobs and therefore sign up to willingly die given the chance for peace

Kouta lashing out against his parents dying would have likely been met with “But they signed up to be Heroes. They signed up to lay their lives on the line and they knew what they were getting into. This is what they would have wanted.”

And, speaking of signing up for this job, I also want to point out that this is literally what Midnight says to Kaminari when they run into the mansion

If Kaminari died on that day, he would have likely been mourned with the tragedy of the war, but it would have been labelled as “He knew what he signed up for”

Helping the other Heroes in a fight against the Villains? A noble death. Tragic for such a young boy, yes, but heroic

And I believe this is the same thing that is happening with Midnight

The kids have been shown to be terribly upset by her death, what with seeing her lifeless body in the forest

But I think her death isn’t mentioned because of the simple fact that she signed up for this

It isn’t about “Well, another Hero has died. This is so tragic, why do we urge children as young as 5 to fight in dangerous battles just to throw their life away and die?”. I’m pretty sure the majority of Hero Society, before and after war, don’t have the awareness to think of it like that yet

It’s more about “This was a noble death. It’s what she would have wanted, because she wanted to be a Hero since she was 5 (nevermind the fact that media in hero society is crafted to basically be propaganda so every kid thinks it’s cool and fun and so end up willingly giving themselves over to be child soldiers). Let’s celebrate her death and move onto the next funeral”

I would go as far as to say that it is like irl military deaths, specifically how they treated those back then in the World Wars. Fighting The Good Fight and such. Child soldiers, brought up from as young as 5 into a world of propaganda and “don’t you want to fight for your country?” pressure

I think it’s the same as that, but with Heroes

And, looking back on everything, that totally makes sense as to why nobody says anything. Of course, there is still chaos in the country and they are trying to overcome it - return the country back to how it was - so I wouldn’t blame the kids and Pros for being too busy to ruminate on those who have died

But I think this whole “Noble Profession” thing has some merit too

This is the only reason I can come up with as to why nobody has said anything about Midnight, aside from the possibility of Hori just not having time to focus on everyone’s reaction to her death, but who knows; we could get some eventual insight at some point. This is just what I’ve come up with for now

#i'm open to anybody coming forward and correcting me about the war paragraph #that part is just from memory and what i've been taught #i would include a comparison of twice in this post but #we don't know the league's exact thoughts on his death or what they feel entirely #so idk i'm gonna wait a bit until they come back before i even consider writing up anything about a twice comparison #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #midnight #kayama nemuri #metty posts #mettys posts

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probably-haven · 3 years

Note

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should.

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can. Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it.

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows.

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over-

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings. I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is.

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other- Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action.

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways.

-Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though.

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips.

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself.

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt. - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing.

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth. - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced.

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that.

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead.

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

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dylanxmin · 3 years

Text

covered in you ∣ J.JK

while your boyfriend having a casual play date with his mates, you decided to go horny.

pairing; jeon jungkook x reader

genre; smut, porn without plot(bc why not)

rating; m

warnings; teasing, slapping(face;), curse words, biting, light dom/sub tones, dom!jk, sub!reader, handjob, oral(m), cum eating, choking(on dick), drooling, sloppy blowjob, face fucking(:), exhibitionism?, and sorry unedited:(,,

word count; 3k+

a/n; well, yeah.. im little bit turned on by jungkook and basically throwing my eagerness on here. i have no idea about games but here 7 pages long filth for you, lol. i need to make a whole masterlist for sudden!jk thirst bc i always end up writing sloppy smut out of nowhere lol. so hope y’all gonna love this, and feedbacks always, always appreciated. love y’all ♡

It was silent, beside the rhythmed ticks of the clock, hanging lightly on the wall. An annoying reminder for you how many minutes had passed alone on the couch, staring at the screen that vibrates low voices, loud as humming, but enough to tingle behind your head. Warm brown couch almost captured your body as you were sitting on the same spot for more than two hours now. Figures of the body almost printed flawlessly on the wide cushion. Finger tapping at your chin simultaneously with every beat of the clock. You sit there, completely still, annoyed, and highly bored. Weather is now gleaming dark, lightened by the skinny street light. It was different from the moment you placed yourself on the couch. With that, a groan left your throat, how much time had passed got your dander up as you eyed the black door. Tongue licking the base of your lip, curling it between your teeth to nib. Soft sigh left your nostrils when you decided to wait no more. Now, it was time to put up a show.

Of course it wasn’t just because you were annoyed, bored or equally got horny out of nowhere. Well, there is always a little chance of it but there is no need to discuss it.

‘‘No, hyung NO!’’ respectfully discombobulated grunt find you when the hand grabbed the knob of the door. Voice flushing a biten smile at your face, grunt continued, equal a wail. ‘‘Not there of course. ‘M at top. Yeah, yeah, c’mere. I’m waitin’ ’’ cute, desperate whines hurries you further to crush the door right away but with a shaky breath, you let the brisk rousing slip away and turn the knob as humanly as you can. Furious tappings, thin sounds rising, mixing with the boy’s grunts as breaking the silence.

You taken aback.

For a full three minutes you stayed still only to watch, observe the familiar movements of the boy, back muscles excrescently visible under the black tee. And yeah, you stared at them in awe. Freakingly heart stopping act of him that he does unintentionally. Though, it did not stop you from having dark, soaked panties. Shaking the head right to the left to gather the senses back nearly helped you as you closed the door. Not forcing yourself to be quiet as under the headphones you knew he won’t hear a thing, still without knowing why, you tiptoed to get him. Biting the beaming smile, you knelt beside his ridiculously priced game chair. Too oblivious to the action going on right beside him, the dark haired boy grunts once again. Adding another drip to your stomach to gather your arousal as he kicked the table lightly, but it was enough for you. Aggressive enough to hitch your breath.

‘‘I swear to-GOD TAEHYUNG STOP TROLLING THE GAME FOR FUCK SAKE!’’

A sharp greed stirring to your spin when the thick vein throbbed visibly on his neck, and stayed there for the good usage of your cravings. Guess seeing your boyfriend furious over a game is a turn on now. You refuse to be the only one who feels that. There must be more freaks like you. Because it was hot. Staying still as you knelt beside him, just a little bit behind of his chair, it was getting hard not to act obviously. As every passing minute increased the charming desperation, you tried to pressure it back with a brush of your legs. Not much, but it worked enough until the inhuman growl decided to leave his throat. Fuck, what was that again. It sounded beautiful, impelling. As you fucking whimpered loud enough for your ears. Nipples brushing the fabric, as they freed from the tight grip of your bra after the first moment you had that nailing urge. They almost irked back, burning hot behind your tee. And the highly focused boy startled with the touch of your fingers touching timidly at his arm.

‘‘Huh,’’ soft breath mixing under the air, he opened his mouth once, closed, and opened once again but couldn’t utter a voice as focus gathered on the monitor. As angry voice reached you by the headphones, you understood why he couldn’t focus on you. ‘I said boss you fucker-JK what the hell are you doing?’ If you kneeling beside him, darting your eyes on him isn’t enough for him to focus on you, then you would gladly do more. Jimin could suck his own dick as he just ruined the moment you were about to play. Thrill spilling inside, you licked your lips. It sounded like a challenge.

And you accepted.

You giggled at yourself after passing over by his legs to curl into the space left behind his legs. Rather than expected, below the desk wasn’t that suffocating as you thought. Lighted fairly, air semi-fresh, you could hang in here. Well, hornyness weighed more than a good space to stay. It caused no harm, too.

When you looked up after the restless shift of your boyfriend, you witnessed the firm head shake. Even though you love to play the oblivious, you knew what it meant. It was ‘no’, a severe one.

Yet, it was a little too late for that.

You already take this as a challenge and you had no intention to stop now. And by tearing his eyes away from you to land it on the monitor did not help you. Only increased the silly jealousy as you leaned a bit to lift his tee. Tail of the black fabric welcomed the fingers who’s about to pat the tanned skin, light as much, soft as much as they could. Right after fingertips meeting with his muscled stomach, they tighten, scoff blurting out of him as a reflex. Too bad that he can’t do anything about making you stop, as that would mean they could and probably would lose the game and they all will blame him. And Jungkook, never, ever lost a game. Or caused a lost. Also too bad for him as you knew him too deep.

‘JK come to the mid.’ as the request didn’t get the expected return, the same voice echoed once again. Angry this time. ‘Kook you on?’

It took a minute for him to heal himself from the teasing touch you gifted. Darkness lightened by the blue, pink, and shade of the soft yellow, falls onto his face. His façade edged even more with the shades contouring his features, he looked god ish. Knot appeared between his brows after feeling the nails digging, tracing a track down until they reached to his crotch. Dick stayed half hard. Giggling you eyed him, caring his stomach until his muscles eased back. Contrary to the curses you heard through his headphone, you leaned till the tip of your nose brushed his velvety skin on the stomach. Choked breath coming out of him as you started to put soft, caring kisses all the way above the head of his sport short. From left to right, you kissed, wetted with each lick you gave as he tightened his muscles on the thighs.

‘‘F-fuck,’’ he hushed out, too afraid to be heared by his friends because how the hell he could explain this. Exactly, he couldn’t. Murmuring satisfiedly, tongue trailed all the way up, stopped licking when you reached below the belly-button of him. Rather choose to circle your tongue around it, carefully slow. As no one needed to rush anything.

‘You yelled at me but who is trolling NOW JUNGKOOK!’

You had to cover your mouth to prevent your laugh from going out. It was semi funny and semi exciting as the idea of your friends understanding what you were doing and how much you were affecting him. It was harmless to fantasies, but you had no idea how you would feel if it turned real. Still, it was rousing.

‘‘FUCK. O-okay, okay.’’ the captured boy hissed out, fighting with the urge to kick you aside. Both because he didn’t know how you would react, and also, it was feeling good. Your fingers, tongue, lips felt amazing. Warm against his skin. So he didn't intend to lose it so quickly. ‘‘ ‘M just a bit confused. M okay, let’s get it.’’

Yeah, let’s get it.

Fingers digging in theirs and yours one of the favorite spots of him after his doe looking eyes, and easily scrunched nose. His thighs. Thick, built, smooth thighs that you adored so damn much. Hiking up the cloth up, you resist the need of biting them down. Slowed circles were much better at first, and he was already tensed as one of his knees smacked high only to meet with the hardwood. It’s play time so you could take as much as time you want. Plus, he was kinda tied down by the chair so you could use this for the good usage.

‘‘Ah. Nuh, no, not him hyung. FUCK!’’ Jungkook’s guttural cry left his lungs as the soft circles left their place to wet kisses, and then a harsh bite right on his inner thigh. Hard enough to leave a mark, but light, too, as the mark almost disappeared right away. Sloppy, wet licks tried to heal the bruise immediately, as you worked on him. His moans hit the very needy spot, made you clench around nothing to drip even more. Poor core pulsed, pulsed, pulsed until you couldn’t take more and spilled out a weak mewl. It reflected all the desperation you had, and the gamer couldn’t control his mouth before spitting a brutal slut right at your direction. Nails digging deeper on his thighs, you like the way how that word rolled out from his plushed lips. Attacking right into your spine. Yes, yes, yes, yes, was all you could think. You were a slut, indeed. But, of course, his teammates had no idea about what was going on here, as an offended shriek filled the room right after what Jungkook said.

‘DID YOU JUST CALLED ME A SLUT?’ you could recognize Jimin’s extra thickened voice, and you giggled while putting now less soft kisses all over his thigh. ‘JUNGKOOK SPEAK. NOW’ and you bite his flesh once again, right when he was about to answer the man on the line.

‘‘N-Ahhhh! No, no.’’ his fingers curled around your hair immediately, out of conscious. He locked his gaze on you after tilting your head a little back. Expression hardened, his jaw twitched. ‘‘I was talking with the slut that almost killed me.’’ you sobbed as the wave of hunger hit you on the right spot, after his hand left you with a semi slap on your cheek. It wasn’t enough, it didn’t even blushed the skin but you choked anyway. More, more, more of that slap is all you need at the moment. You knew that for sure.

And you will earn those by the work of your mouth, tongue, and palm. As much as help you can get to reach the euphoria you want at the heat of the moment.

To soothe the now reddened flesh inside of his thigh, you licked once, twice and once again. Every touch of the warm, wet muscle earned another squirm by the boy who tried very hard to focus on the game. Though, it was obvious that he was failing because voices rising from the headphones gave the clue of how he sucked at keeping a clear game. No lie, you like the effect you had on him. Has him hissing with a jerk of his knee, brought claps to the back of your head. Like you just win a prize.

It seemed a bit like that.

‘‘No.’’ Jungkook pleaded, eyes not on you but the shake of his head was, indeed, for you. As your fingertips hooked under the waistband of his short, cold tips of your fingers startled him as he was burning, flesh blooming hot. To his dismay, you felt a little rebellious today. Ready to take the risk of getting the kick, as you shoved his short down, forcefully. His clothed parts unfolded slowly. However, the kick never landed, the only reaction was him holding his ass a bit high to help you on making him naked. Muscles straining, his shaft meets with air. Hanging above his legs, all the stimulation had him angry red. Precum glistening on the tip, ready to spill all over his thighs, on the chair.

You gulped. ‘‘Fuck,’’ now it was your turn to curse, as his dick never failed to surprise you. While waiting hard, thick, and crimson. Mouth watering view went straight to your core to poke the arousal now begin to drip. Wetting your lips to match them with your mouth and his tip, meager grab of your palm meets with his dick. It has Jungkook cursing more, an aggressive fist dropped on the wooden desk. He thrusts once out of habit, but immediately stays still. The boy’s face blooming scarlet, it was enough for you to gather your courage to dive in. As his body was craving you without any doubt.

‘‘Mid-ahhh!’’

Full fist squeezed around the base of his shaft has the gamer crying out loud. It made your breath hitch. Jungkook speechless. Loaded dire placed on your stomach, yet it wasn’t unpleasant. Rather, hair stands on the edge, chest writhe in need. It was too pleasant. Too dreamy. A gasping view.

But you couldn’t hold back, and leaned in. Wet tongue touches the base of his head, you blow air after moistening the place good. It could have been twitched without your tight firm, rather, he moaned. Then freezed. Momentarily joy died in his stomach as he remembered his friends were on the other side of the line. Eyes shut tight, he waited for them to yell or accuse him for something unmistakably obvious. You giggled at his fear, as he opened one eye below the furrowed brows. Carefully as afraid to make a sudden move. Unlike his terror, nothing happens. The other two boys continue to play without saying anything, but Jungkook finds it suspicious. Even though he was relieved.

Not for so long though, as now the tongue starts to circle around the head of his cock. Small whimpers held back by him but you were bolder to spill them. Feeling hot, heavy between your lips, you like to suck him so much. Maybe too much as Jungkook pushed his hips high. So you continued, now almost half of him in your mouth. It was hard for you to take him at once, as the boy had the biggest one you ever laid on eye. Thick, also. Palm isn’t enough to cover him fully, when you dared. So you take your time while his nostrils breathe heavily. Precum becomes one with the salvia around his cock, you whined happily at the taste. It was always pleasant. Always tasty.

Nails digging in the naked skin, you bobbed your head down. Throat stretching well around his stabbing tip. But you had no mercy on yourself or shame while diving deeper. Tip of your nose almost touches his pubes, a strangled hum broke out by the throat. And it has his dick twitch deep down in your throat. Which another broken moan rises from you as he was equally horny as much as you. Fingers ached to find your pulsing clit, but you stopped yourself before even daring as this was about him. And only him. Rather than touching your pussy, you grabbed his waist. Shape of his body always turned you on, same as now. You mewled while moving after adjusting your breath.

Jungkook bites down his lips, too afraid to make another voice, challenge his change. Instead, he grabbed tight his mouse, almost crashing it. Ball of longing crawling onto his chest, stomach, all over his body while you keep the work of your mouth, tongue so good. It was stirring, heart stopping for both of you. Every swirl of your tongue, every hollow move of your cheeks drive him closer. Little by little, he felt the nudging delight getting closer and closer. And if you could, you would come undone, too, as the whole thing was too affecting.

‘‘Stay.’’ hand grabbing the back of your head, you freezed cock so deep in your throat. As the command was too sudden, a slap found your stretched cheek after you swallowed out of habit.

‘‘Hnngg,’’ you protest but do not dare to move, knowing it would be fatal. For you and the poor throat. Tongue waiting below his dick, feeling the pulse of his thick vein, you stayed there. Even though you practised many times breathing from your nose while mouth full, after long minutes, it was getting slightly disturbing. Not uncomfortable but unachievable for you. Butterflies burning one by one from the fire rising by your chest, you wait one, two, three minutes more until Jungkook shifts his hips. Only to choke you even more with his cock, rough beg of a moan stealing by your lungs, you wrenched under his hold.

Hands finding the support by his waist, you let him move his dick in your throat. Not that you had much of a choice. Muffled noises leaving your chest, his thrust was hard enough to try your gag reflex.

Eyes getting teary, you were drooling even more every time your nose hit his stomach. Wet sounds gurgled with every pressure of his cock, tears now mixed by tears on your chin. Creating a pool on his thighs and the dark leather. But you never tried to go back, stayed there like a good girl he wanted, let him use you face for a quick fuck. It was satisfying for both of you.

His abs clenched, unclench as a warning. He was about to cum, and it had you whine even louder. You wanted to taste him, gulp down everything he gifts you, and lick him clean. Strong, hot hunger raised with every push as you were going to eat his cum like your last meal. Because it tasted like that. Delicious, salty, and warm all around your tongue, teeth. You clenched around nothing once again and held your position as Jungkook started to cum with a heavy groan.

‘‘Fuck, fuck, FUCK!’’ no one mattered, as he was bursting white deep down on your hot, drooling throat. Thrill clouded his mind as he moaned loud, hard, and obvious while spurting, adding a new color to your throat.

Jungkook continued to cum, dripping thick and hot. And you swallowed every one of them, eagerly, messily. Slurping, licking him clean when he dropped by his high. When every inch of his dick gleamed glossy, and cleared from his cum, you were satisfied when taken you head back after his big grip let you. You smiled ear to ear as the tired bliss beamed his face. It never stopped being fluttering when he looked so proud of you. Heavy breaths of yours cut harshly when headphones almost vibrate with the intense scream.

‘IF YOU DONE FUCKING GOD KNOWS WHERE OF Y/N, CAN YOU FUCKING GO BACK TO THE GAME, YOU FUCKING FUCK!’

Jimin’s voice had you two freeze, but after Teahyung started to laugh loud, almost wheezing, Jungkook and you joined him. But Jimin didn’t. As they were losing the game. And he was competitive as much as Jungkook. But right now, your boyfriend had something distracting. So he chuckled before landing an eye on you and smirked.

‘‘Sorry, but I need to reward my girl.’’ he cocked a brow, hand moving to close the game. ‘‘As you all heard, she did a pretty good job. Right, baby?’’

Between Taehyung’s laughs and Jimin’s curses, your heart fluttered at the praise. It was all you needed, all you wanted from him. You watched him carefully while he put his headphones on the desk, corner of the lip curling high. A finger pointed at you, you wait for his word.

‘‘Now, be a good girl, and turn your ass over here.’’ you cooed at his demand, wiggled your ass and presented him. Panties already soaked, you were needy as always. And he was feeding you good with his filthy words. ‘‘I’m gonna fuck you so good, so hard that you will afraid even to knock my door again when I’m playing.’’

With a harsh smack landing on your cheek, you were sure of that. ‘‘Yes, please.’’

you can also find me on twitter (no minor pls:)

#heartsforbts #bangtanhq #bangtanarmynet #btsgoldnet #btswriterscollective #btswritingcafe #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #dom jk #dylanxmin

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thegeminisage · 3 years

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my secret galaxy brain reading of spn s11 is better than yours

or: why season 11 is good actually. this is a long-ass meta, so it's going behind the cut

some disclaimers before we get going

absolutely all of this is accidental. nobody does this shit on purpose. this is ~my interpretation~ or whatever. i'm not actually trying to argue the writers meant to do this lol. what i'm saying is that this is the way to make season 11 make sense in your brain because it makes sense in mine and it's one of my FAVORITES. it could be one of your favorites too if you stop limiting yourself

there is heavy discussion of sexual violence in this meta so read safely etc also spoilers for all of s11 obviously

unless you watched the anime, i've seen more supernatural than you have, so i'm right >:)

for the uninitiated, the basic plot of season 11 is that eons and eons ago, before there was heaven or hell or earth or humans or angels, there was only god (chuck) and the darkness (amara). amara kept destroying what god made, so he and the archangels locked her away in a cage, which removing the mark of cain from dean's arm opened. amara escaped and dean was the first thing she saw, so she spends the season using some kind of thrall over him to make him feel drawn to her and unable to hurt her, and also looking for chuck so she can give him a little payback.

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO

season 11 & sexual violence

you don't need to look very far to find examples of sexualized violence and outright sexual violence on supernatural, but s11 is lousy with it. just to name a few examples:

amara's "thrall" on dean, which we will absolutely get into more later

crowley's jokes about altar boys and the tastes of catholic priests

ALLLLL the pedophile jokes made when crowley was raising baby amara

angels torturing cas and threatening to cut his genitals off, only to send in hannah (an angel who formerly had unrequited romantic/sexual feelings for him) to play good cop(/honeypot??) in hopes of making him talk

the return of lucifer, who possessed sam (spn has a history of equating possession and sexual violence) and is heavily implied to have raped sam in hell, and the MULTIPLE times he menaces sam throughout this season, including forcibly touching his soul

lucifer possessing castiel and using him to enact violence on the winchesters, his loved ones

i absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge the lucifer/crowley stuff but if you know you know

the episode with the kissing curse, using "love" as a means to deliver death

dean's possession in the soul eater episode

the "chitters" monsters involving mating, orgies, and forcible impregnation

you get the idea

i could write a whole essay on almost all of these but for this post we'll be sticking mostly to dean & amara

@marcusantonius pointed out while we were watching season 11 that what amara does to dean is basically speedrun his two major attachments - sam and castiel. she starts out as a baby, someone in need of protection, and quickly grows into an adult who attempts to romance/seduce him. the feelings dean has around amara aren't feelings FOR HER, they're feelings he has for SAM AND CAS that are being TRANSFERRED onto her through means of her power. (this is important for later.)

what amara does to dean is sexualized violence bordering on outright sexual assault. compelling him to feel drawn towards her and to protect her, frequently getting in his personal space and touching his face, and even kissing more than once when he is quite literally unable to resist (it's stated many times that he is unable to kill or even harm her, so he is completely helpless in the presence of someone who makes no secret of her intentions for him, sexual or otherwise).

dean says many times that what he feels for amara is not love or desire or attraction. he can't put a name to it at all - not once in the entire series is he able to properly define this thrall she has over him, which leaves us the audience a little confused (amara asking "what IS happening between us?" in 11.06 as a teenager making sexual advances on a grown man does give me a good laugh, because it was written SO WEIRDLY)... BUT we know that it is definitely sexual in nature, and not at all something dean wants to be happening.

this is addressed kind of strangely in 11.13. the villain of the week is a witch moonlighting as a hairdresser, who puts a kissing curse on her clients. the curse must be passed along like a hot potato - if you kiss someone else, it's passed along to them. if they kiss someone else, it's passed along to them. but eventually, a monster called a qareen will show up in the form of "your deepest desire" and kill you, and work its way backwards to the original curse-ee. in the episode, dean kisses the vic (i'll point out this was also technically done w/o her consent, though it was a very businesslike kiss) to put the curse on himself and protect her. the qareen takes the form of amara, and she gives Dean this little speech:

Qareen!Amara: You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it's cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it? Just give in.

then, at the end of the episode, after dean reveals who the qareen was for him, we get this conversation between sam and dean:

Dean: You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire? Sam: She isn't? Dean: No! She can’t be! Sam: Why not? Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I'm… Sam: Means you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah. Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I'm not.

the "shame" part of both of these is really what stuck out to me - the word itself isn't in the second passage, but dean's vibes are absolutely filled with shame. to me, this always read as being shame about the sexual violence and about the complicity/weakness that "allowed" that violence to happen.

and as a reminder, sam is just a few episodes past the confrontation with his own rapist (he returns to the cage to speak with lucifer in 11.09 & 11.10, and canonically struggles with what happened there even after the confrontation ends). sam made a point earlier in this episode of making sure the victim of the curse knew it wasn't her fault her husband died, but the fault of the witch who cast the curse. sam is VERY emotionally intelligent, and i honestly believe that he was speaking as one survivor of sexual violence to another here. what he's telling dean is something victims often need to be reminded of: it's not your fault. you weren't complicit, or weak. you didn't have a choice. you don't deserve blame or judgment.

we've had bad guys make sexual threats at both dean and sam many times before this and a few more times after, but as far as i can recall, this is the only conversation in the entire series that even attempts to address the impact of that particular kind of violence on dean. it's short, and strangely written, but nonetheless: there it is.

season 11 & the dean in the closet

for the purposes of this post, i'm not going to go through the entire series and find examples to try and prove dean is bi and has feelings for cas. if you don't believe that then what are you doing here? we're skipping to the goods.

actually, i always got annoyed at people who read the fake-amara's speech in 11.13 (or any of the other times people spoke about dean's shame regarding amara) as being about dean's sexuality, because in my mind it was ABSOLUTELY about his being a victim of sexual violence, which was far more important to me, as it is discussed far less often.

BUT, knowing what we know now (that cas was always canonically in love with dean, and it's all but canon that dean really was bisexual), i'm willing to entertain another notion:

Sam: ...you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah.

the "evil" bit never really sat right with me as part of the narrative of sexual violence, aside from touching on dean's general self-loathing, but it fits the narrative of being closeted MUCH better. dean, a self-hating homophobic bisexual, would probably use a similar word, if not something heavy as "evil," to describe the way he feels about other men. it's a malevolent feeling. (if you're like me and ascribe to the jackles headcanon that dean resorted to turning tricks to make food money when he was underage, we could also consider the extremely fucked up fact that almost every queer man dean's ever met is someone who hurt him.)

dean is ashamed of who and what he is, and the way he feels about cas. living like that, that's violence. he lives violently day in and day out with that feeling. (and amara knows it. it's worth nothing that she uses cas to communicate with dean MULTIPLE times in this season, both by carving messages on his body and psychically, through his own connection to dean - and when dean "betrays" her to rescue casifer, she's horrified at whatever she sees in his head.)

equating sexual violence to the violence of being closeted

but what's amazing about this weird badly-written little 11.13 conversation (and indeed, the season-long plotline of dean and his shame) is that we don't HAVE to assign it to the purposes of being about sexual violence OR about being closeted. it can be and IS both.

my favorite reading of this is that BEING IN THE CLOSET IS INHERENTLY A VIOLENT AND TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. many of the same feelings are involved: shame, guilt, self-loathing. sam's comforting words to dean - that he will not be blamed or judged - are equally applicable in both cases. dean is a victim of sexual violence, and he is also in the closet, and both of these experiences are traumatic ones, and they are intermingled with each other in a big way (again, if you're into dean-turned-tricks headcanon, they are intermingled INSEPERABLY - the sexual violence being one of the direct causes of dean not wanting to accept or address his own sexuality).

the bait-and-switch

the real galaxy brain moment of this whole thing begins at the end of 11.22 (an otherwise lackluster episode that played sam's lucifer trauma for laughs how dare they ugh god whatever that's off-topic but i HATE IT) when amara and chuck finally have the confrontation she's been fighting all season for. she is attacked by witches, demons, angels, and then stabbed by lucifer himself, before she's finally on her knees before chuck, and then we get this little exchange:

Chuck: I'm sorry. For this, for everything. Amara: An apology at last. What's sorry to me? I spent millions of years crammed into that cage alone and afraid...

maybe you already know where i'm going with this. a cage isn't so different from a closet when we're working with metaphors, right?

amara talks about her grievances with chuck many times throughout season 11 - that he was spoiled, that he created the earth to stroke his ego, that he couldn't handle her as she was. and once he finally makes his appearance he tells it his own way - that he had no choice but to lock amara away, that she couldn't stand the things and people he made, that he did it to protect people. but something about THIS conversation in particular - even though it's not written into the dialogue - gives me a particular kind of vibe.

there is something innately, unspeakably WRONG with amara. i don't mean unspeakable as in very bad, i mean unspeakable as in LITERALLY undefinable. it's just like dean being unable to put a name to the pull she has over him. no one talks directly at it or about it, they go in circles around it, but facts are facts: amara simply couldn't be allowed to exist as she was because there was just something innately wrong with her. and it's this conversation in particular, the first one they have together onscreen, that really slams that feeling home for me.

the entire time chuck and amara are talking, the camera repeatedly cuts to dean - he is so visibly upset that the first time i watched this, i was certain he was about to jump into the middle of things and put himself between the two of them. we're meant to believe that dean has trouble hearing this because he "cares" about amara, but i have a different take.

i think it's empathy. real, actual empathy - not the kind of feeling that amara had to force out.

stay with me here. eventually, after chuck tries to lock amara away again, she gets her second wind, attacks him, and leaves him for dead - and as he dies, the sun dies with him, and so too does all life on earth.

in the following episode, the finale, amara finds her way to a park, where she takes in god's creation, visibly upset as she realizes that his flowers die at her touch (again, hammering home the point that there is something innately wrong with her that means she cannot live in this world), and eventually speaks with an old lady feeding the birds.

Woman: Do you want to feed them? Amara: I shouldn't. Woman: I've been feeding these birds going on 20 years now. They're practically family. And I know that makes me sound like a crazy old bat, but...heck. My husband died a couple of years ago, and my son keeps slipping me these brochures for retirement communities - a.k.a. where they send old folks to die, but not to make a fuss about it. Amara: So you hate him. Woman: Well, a little bit. Sometimes. But you know family. Even when you hate them, you still love them.

this speech brings tears to amara's eyes. what's more, she spends this entire section with her hands in her lap. after a season of killing her way through humanity to get god's attention, she is afraid to touch these birds for fear of killing them. she feels empathy for them. she and dean are connected, after all - so as soon as he began to feel true, genuine empathy - so did she.

when dean shows up to kill amara (via a bomb made out of souls hidden in his chest), she immediately clocks his plan. she practically dares him to do it, and - he can't. he is, as always, helpless against her.

what dean does instead is talk to her. more importantly, he listens to her. when she says her brother sent dean here to execute her, he tells her chuck actually didn't want this - that it was actually his very last resort. he asks her if this, the death of everything, is what she wanted, and she tells him all she really wanted was payback. again, dean EMPATHIZES:

Dean: Yeah, that's revenge. It'll get you out of bed in the morning, and when you get it, it feels great... for about five minutes. I've been there. Me and Sam, we have had our fair share of fights—more than our share. But no matter how bad it got, we always made it right because we're family. I need him. He needs me. And when everything goes to crap, that's all you've got—family. Now you might be a—an all-powerful being...but I think you're human where it counts. You simply need your brother.

what's really neat about this section, and the scene before it where amara confronts her brother, is that they mark the first times dean felt any sort of genuine emotion for amara at all - one that she didn't force out of him or one that he felt for someone else that she just took for herself. dean genuinely EMPATHIZES with her - after everything she's done to him and his loved ones, and to the people on earth, dean sees the humanity in her. that's kind of his and sam's M.O., loving monsters into men - the number of non-human adversaries who eventually became allies because of the winchesters’ empathy or liking for them or even just their influence is staggering. cas, gabriel, meg, benny, crowley, rowena, metatron, to name a few off the top of my head - and now amara.

and then we get THIS:

Dean: You don't want to be alone. Not really. I mean, hell. Maybe that's why you wanted me. But deep down, you didn't really want me... 'cause I'm not him.

(emphasis mine)

and here's my galaxy brain take: dean empathizes with amara - TRULY empathizes with her - because they're both queer (or queer-coded).

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS NUTS BUT LISTEN. this weird creepy stalkery hetero "romance" was fake on both sides all along. dean and amara are the same. that unspeakable and innate wrongness lives in both of them. they're self-loathing and furious at god for his failures and callousness, outcasts in a world that isn't for them, a world that has HURT them simply on account of them being what they are. the violence done to amara was done to her BECAUSE of this unspeakable wrongness about her - her queerness, or her queer-codedness - and we already decided this was, for the purposes of this season, functionally the same violating and traumatic experience as sexual violence.

amara's been using dean to try and replace chuck this entire season. it's some weird comphet bullshit tied in with the fact that dean was the first part of chuck's creation she ever saw. it stands to reason then that she was trying to force dean to be with her and love her the way she wanted to force CHUCK to be with her. that's part of why she started life as a baby - as someone he'd protect as he did his own sibling.

so in some weird, warped, very roundabout way, amara was enacting on dean the violence that chuck enacted on her - making him feel the same shame and weakness that chuck made HER feel when he locked her away eons ago. if amara unknowingly replaced chuck with dean, then she also unknowingly took part of her revenge on him. the only way she knew how to love someone was to force them to do it, because the only ways she had ever been loved until now involved violence - until dean and his moment of genuine empathy.

consider this final speech:

Dean: Maybe I can kill you. Or maybe I can't. Maybe if I pull this trigger, we all live happily ever after, or maybe we die bloody, or maybe it doesn't matter, because maybe there's a different way. So I'm gonna ask you again. Put aside the rage. Put aside the hate. And you tell me...what do you want?

dean is the only person in BILLIONS of years to ask her this! one queer to another! and it turns out that and all she wanted - the ONLY thing she needed - was to be understood and accepted by her family. immediately after this, amara summons chuck to their park, and the two of them talk it out in what is genuinely a very moving scene. amara - perhaps because of her connection with dean, perhaps because she's finally admitted to herself that she does still love her brother - sees the beauty in the world now, and feels love for it, and she doesn't want to destroy it anymore.

and at the end, after she's made her peace with god, and the sun has been turned back on, amara says:

Amara: Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.

and what do we get at the end of this episode? mary winchester, risen from her grave. dean's family. and - SPOILERS FOR SEASON 12 - though at first mary rejects dean (and sam) as being the same children she remembers from 1983, after a long and rocky road, at the end of the season, they eventually come to a reconciliation where she sees them for who they truly are. it's never ABOUT being queer because this show uses the fucking hays code when it comes to dean's sexuality, but it's still about being queer!!

dean gave amara what she needed - acceptance from her family - and she gave him that back in turn. all it took, the entire time, was one SHRED of empathy from one queer to another. all dean had to do was recognize her - REALLY recognize her - not as a replacement for sam or cas but as who she really was. and he saw himself in her, and the empathy that followed was genuine because it was the most natural thing in the world. in the end neither dean nor amara needed the "romance" they thought they did/were forced to want. they never did. they only needed acceptance and understanding.

supernatural is always about family and the power of love, and this season is no exception.

other great parts of season 11

if you're still not convinced, season 11 is full of other things that make it amazing:

GOD'S RETURN. after SIX YEARS he's back, this is canon, we finally get to hear what he has to say. they did more with him in a handful of episodes in this season than all of season 15

also, something else returns after six years. i'll give you a hint: it glows hot in god's presence. it was last seen being dropped into a motel trash can.

and of course the big one: lucifer and sam. what great callbacks to seasons 4-6 when lucifer and what he did to sam in hell was actually scary and mattered a lot! lucifer returns to being scary in this and i can't get enough of it.

this is also inseparable from sam's arc involving his faith - he begins praying again, having visions again, and is GUTTED when those prayers and visions lead him back to the place of his worst trauma. he gets to MEET GOD this season. it's fucking insane

the inherent melodrama of castiel, someone loved and trusted by the winchesters, being possessed by someone who they hate and who has hurt them. you get all of the sam drama with him accidentally trusting lucifer with his soul and his brother's life, and all the dean drama where he watches the devil run around in his boyfriend. also, misha collins does an uncanny impression of mark pellegrino. it's actually really creepy

somehow, they managed to make metatron, a deeply hated villain by all, ACTUALLY LIKEABLE. for TWO whole episodes. it was NUTS

this season starts off rowena's long arc with lucifer and her lucifer trauma that eventually becomes the catalyst of her bonding so profoundly with sam <3 best friends forever <333

sam and dean bond with a pair of canonically gay hunters who DON'T DIE

billie is introduced in this season and she's super hot and cool and awesome

eileen is also introduced in this season. her arc mirrors sam's so well, it's SO good. i never though i'd care about sam and a girl who wasn't jess, but i care about them SO MUCH it makes me insane. if you don't love eileen you're wrong!

anyway, watch season 11. it's weird but it's really fucking good. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

[spn masterpost]

#supernatural #dean winchester #amara #supernatural meta #destiel #in a roundabout way #i needed a 5th tracked tag lol #i stayed up ALL NIGHT writing this but im gonna be a smartie and schedule it to go up at noon when ppl are awake #liz watches spn #liz's meta #liz's spn stuff #liz makes stuff #long post #just in case the cut fails #this meta really is 3800 words long lol #as a bonus it was implied in late season 10 that amara is the older sibling #even though they retconned it and made them twins later #like amara and dean are both eldest sisters.......

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ultraintrovertedgryffindor · 4 years

Text

Swiss Ghoul (Ghost) 18+

I realized a while ago that I always shoulder shimmy whenever I hear a song with a particularly good beat (usually Hispanic music lol), so it was about time I wrote something about Multi.

Warning: The reader has night terrors. I don’t have night terrors myself, so I apologize if I portray it incorrectly! +SMUT.

Edit: I’m adding smut at the end of this...don’t know why. This would be the first time writing something so explicit. So, 18+ 18+ 18+!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Every night, you’d get these horrible night terrors.

It started when you were a young, after your parents died. You’d always cry or scream in your sleep. You went to the church’s Priestess for help, but she told you that there was nothing she could do. You prayed to your lord every night, hoping that he could take away your suffering. He never answered.

Eventually, almost a week of screaming every night, it was decided to move your room to the most secluded part of the abbey. You didn’t blame them. You were sure you’d get tired of listening to your screams every night too.

You knew everyone felt sorry for you, but you didn’t need their pity. You just wanted one good nights sleep...was that too much to ask?

In your room, no human could hear your screams. No human. But unfortunately, the Ghouls could. Curse their super hearing...

The Ghouls didn’t have to tell you that they could hear you, you could tell by the way they looked at you with pitiful stares every time you’d pass them in the halls in the mornings. You felt so embarrassed...

The worst part for you was everyone in the abbey treating you like you were made of glass. You had lived with night terrors for so long now that you knew how to make sure that you didn’t get hurt. You did not need their help with that.

After one practically awful incident, you grew more and more careful of how you slept. It was when you were living in foster care, about a year after your parents died. You had already dealt with the night terrors, but that night, you got hurt. You don’t usually remember what happens when you have these episodes, but your foster parents told you that you flailing around so hard that you fell off your bed, hitting your head on the bedside table in the process.

You had to deal with the risk of getting concussions after that, and ever since you’d make sure to wherever you slept was basically safe enough for a child.

After becoming a Sister of Sin, the night terrors mellowed out for a while, but it didn’t last.

You sighed, pushing your fork around, some scrambled eggs and a sausage being the only thing left on your plate. You looked around the mess hall, it was pretty empty. You were usually one of the first ones to arrive for breakfast since you rarely got your full eight hours.

Even if the night terrors were detrimental to your sleep, you were still thankful you didn’t remember them. But ever since you got hurt, you’ll admit, you’ve been afraid of sleeping. Nowadays, you get about four or five hours every night at the most.

You suddenly think back to a psychology class where your teacher said that lack of sleep can cause early deaths and heart attacks...oh well.

“Good morning, Y/N!” Swiss’ voice called out, making you drop your silverware in shock.

“Morning.” You sighed and yawned.

“Sleep well?” He asked, making you glare at him. He grinned nervously, knowing full well of your predicament. “Bad joke? Sorry...”

Being annoyed, you still chuckle. “It’s alright.”

“Gonna eat that?” He asked, pointing at your neglected eggs and sausage.

You smiled weakly, and pushed the plate over to Swiss. “Knock yourself out.”

Swiss licked his lips in anticipation, a puddle of drool already pooling on the table. He grabbed your previously held fork and stabbed it into the greasy piece of meat. He lifted up the impaled sausage and brought it to his mouth, only to bite the bitter metal of the fork.

Swiss whined and looked around for the culprit of his stolen breakfast, only to see Dewdrop already scoffing it down. “Hey! That was mine!” Swiss fussed.

Dewdrop grinned and sucked off the leftover grease that coated his fingers. “You don’t eat sausage with a fuckin’ fork. You were basically asking for it to be stolen.”

“Civilized Ghouls use their manners!” Swiss growled.

“Swiss, when has Dewy ever been civilized?” You chuckled, making Dewdrop narrow his eyes at you.

“I told you not to call me that, brat.” He growled.

“Ha! You’re calling me a brat?!” You laughed loudly.

“You wanna meet your maker early?!” Dewdrop shouted.

“Ugh, children. Stop fighting!” Aether said suddenly, sitting down beside you, opposite of Swiss, making you feel quite protected from Dew’s empty threats.

“She started it!” Dewdrop pointed a sharp claw at you.

“If you wanna get technical, it actually Swiss that started it.”

“What?!” Swiss squeaked.

Dewdrop suddenly grinned evilly. “You know what, you’re absolutely right.” He said, Swiss immediately begging for his life before Dewdrop tackled him to the floor.

You and the rest of the Ghouls watched in amusement as Dewdrop and Swiss wrestled each other on the floor, Aether enjoyed his breakfast while watching the show.

“Hey! Hey!”

You all looked to see Sister Imperator storming towards the group, a spray bottle in hand. She quickly sprayed a still fighting Dew and Swiss with water, forcing them to break apart.

“You Ghouls are supposed to be at practice soon! Copia is gonna waiting!”

The Ghouls suddenly remember that they had to go on tour soon, frowning when they had to leave you alone. But shooed them off anyway, you didn’t want to be the cause of their possible punishments for blowing off work.

“We’ll hang out later, okay?” Swiss smiled at you, showing his pearly white teeth, water still dripping off his silver mask.

You nodded and smiled, but frowned as soon as his back turned and headed off to the studio where they usually practiced. “Y/N,” Sister Imperator said, “can I talk to you?”

You held your breath for a moment, nervous about the grim look on her face, but you answered anyway. “Yes, of course, Sister.”

Sister took a seat where Aether previously sat, and put a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Your terrors haven’t stopped.” She stated.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “H-how...?”

“The Ghouls.” She answered. “They haven’t been getting much sleep lately. The band is suffering because of this. They just can’t focus on their music due to lack of sleep.”

You looked down embarrassed. “Sister...I’m-”

“I know it’s not your fault, dear. But...” She sighed. “It needs to stop or else they won’t be tour ready.”

Your heart almost stopped. “...are you kicking me out?” You almost cried.

“No, no, no!” She said. “Not permanently.” You nodded tearfully. “It would only be until they go on tour, dear. I promise. It’s just...they need their sleep to get the most out their practice time.”

“I understand.” You said, your voice barely passing a whisper.

“You won’t be homeless. We’ve already set up a living arrangement with a member of the church that’ll be happy to house you for awhile. Okay?”

“When do I leave?”

“Anytime tomorrow.”

You bit your lip to keep it from trembling. “Okay...I’ll go pack now if that’s okay with you Sister.” You said and got up without waiting for an answer.

You dug your nails into the soft material of your habit, willing yourself not to break down on your way to your room.

The waterworks started flowing at soon as you closed your door, throwing yourself onto the familiar comforting feeling of your bed, remembering that you wouldn’t have this bed until you got back.

It made you cry for hours, until you fell asleep...

You suddenly gasped awake, quickly trying to escape the claustrophobic feeling you felt around you. “Hey, hey, hey...shh...” You heard.

You looked up, and quickly realized who the voice belonged to. “Swiss...” You smiled, but Swiss didn’t smile. He looked worried. “What?”

You tried to sit, finding it difficult when you suddenly felt a sharp pain in the palms of your hands and forearms. You hissed in pain and looked at your arms. They were covered in scratches, and your palms had deep crescent shaped indents in them, all bleeding.

“Y/N...” Swiss frowned. “We got to take you to the infirmary.”

“No, no.” You groaned. “It’s okay. I have a first aid kit in my closet. Bottom shelf, I think.”

Swiss immediately rummaged through your closet and pulled out the kit, bringing it over to you as you sat up. “Does this happen often?” He asked while take out some antibiotic ointment.

You sighed. “Not really. I usually don’t hurt myself...it hasn’t happened in a long time.”

“I didn’t know it could get this bad...” Swiss gently took your arm, uncapping the tube. “I’m sorry.”

You smiled. “It’s not your fault. If anything, I’m the one who’s sorry.”

Swiss briefly gave you a confused look, continuing to treat your self inflicted wounds. “What do you mean?”

“Sister...she told me I’ve been keeping you all awake because of...my screaming. You Ghouls have always had better hearing than humans.” You laughed nervously.

Swiss’ eyes darkened. “She told you that?”

You nodded. “Practice hasn’t been going very well for you guys.”

Swiss sighed and shook his head, starting to wrap your hands with gauze. “I...yeah, it’s true. But it’s not your fault!”

“You’ve lost sleep because of me! How is that not my fault?”

“You can’t control what you do in your sleep, Y/N.”

“I have to leave tomorrow.” Your statement made Swiss halt his actions. “I have to stay at a Clergy member’s house until the band goes back on tour.”

“Fuck that.” Swiss suddenly said, making you blink in shock. “I’m not letting you leave.”

You chuckled bitterly. “It’s not like you have a choice.”

“I don’t care. You don’t deserve to be kicked out, even if it’s temporary. because of something you can’t control. I will go on strike, hell, all of us will.”

“Swiss...” You tried to scold, the determination in his voice making it hard for you to crush his hopes.

“Nope. Shut up.”

“Swiss.” You laughed.

“I’ll talk to Sister Imperator. I’ll convince her to let you stay.” Swiss said, looking you in the eyes. “Okay?”

You sighed in defeat. “...okay.”

Swiss finally finished treating your wounds, and put the first aid kit back in the closet. “Move over.” He ordered when he got back over to your bed.

You were confused but listened anyway. “What time is it?” You asked.

“Hmm, about ten.” He said and sat beside you.

You frowned. “You should probably leave then.”

“No, I’m staying with you.” Swiss said, making you blush. “If you want that it. Maybe it’ll sleep better?”

“Swiss, I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Swiss giggled. “I don’t know if you remember, but I’m a Ghoul babe. You’d have to be really freaking strong to even leave a scratch on me.”

You giggled. “Okay then. Fine.” You said and snuggled up against Swiss, finding his muscular body quite comfortable.

“I’ll make sure you don’t hurt yourself again.” You heard him whisper before his warmth lulled you into a deep sleep.

The next morning, you woke up still in Swiss’ arms. You found it surprising that you hadn’t scared him away. You looked up to see a sleeping Swiss. His mask was slightly crooked, showing a tiny bit of skin underneath. You smiled when you heard his soft snores. You always found him adorable.

But you frowned, remembering that you had to leave the abbey today...you had to leave Swiss.

You reached up and gently poked his jaw, him groaning in reply. “Hmm?”

“It’s morning.” You said softly, looking back towards your window that had sunrays shining through.

“Oh, really?” Swiss yawned, finally opening his eyes to look at you. “Guess what?”

“What?” You smiled.

“You didn’t scream in your sleep.” He smiled.

“Really?” You almost shouted, making Swiss wince slightly.

“Mhm, you didn’t even more around that much. You mumbled a little, but other than that, you pretty much slept like a baby.”

“Huh...that’s odd. I mean, it’s great but still, kinda odd. That doesn’t usually happen. I guess that means the others Ghouls finally got some sleep too.” You laughed.

“Oh, don’t worry about them. You should be focusing on yourself.” Swiss snuggled into your neck, the cold metal raising goosebumps all over your body.

“I have to leave today...” You frowned. Swiss stayed silent, not loosing his grip on you. “Swiss...”

“I told you I’d take care of it.” Swiss said, slightly muffled. You sighed and decided to sit up, making Swiss groan. “No, come back.”

“I have start packing.” You started to get up but Swiss grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down and looking at you with an intense glare.

“I told you, I’d take care of it.” Swiss said and stood up. “Stay here. Don’t fucking leave.” He ordered.

You rolled your eyes and fake saluted him. “Yes, sir.”

As soon as Swiss left your room, you started packing your suitcase. It’s not like you didn’t trust Swiss’ abilities to talk his way out of any problem, but talking to Sister Imperator was a whole other thing. She wasn’t one to take anyone’s shit, so that was worrying.

You didn’t exactly know how Swiss was going to try to convince Sister, but you hoped he could anyway.

Meanwhile, Swiss gathered up his fellow Ghouls and explained the situation. Dewdrop made the mistake of joking around that he wouldn’t mind if you left, making Aether slap the back of the head.

But they all agreed to help out, quickly going to Sister Imperator and successfully convincing her to let you stay.

You however decided to change out of your habit, not really thinking you’d have the need to wear it in your new temporary home. It felt like you were being put in foster care all over again...

You swiftly removed your habit, neatly folding it and placing it on your dresser. You picked some comfortable clothes and briefly wondered if you should take a shower. But before you decided, Swiss barged in through the door without knocking.

You squeaked and quickly got underneath your bed covers, hiding your half naked form. But it was too late, Swiss was already wearing a smirk. “Oh, learn to knock, will ya!” You blushed furiously.

“Sorry.” He laughed. Yeah, he obviously wasn’t sorry.

As if he wanted to make you more embarrassed, he sauntered over and sat in front of you. “Swiss...” You whined and sighed.

Swiss smiled, looking over to your open suitcase and frowned. “You were packing?”

“...uh, yeah.”

“I talked to Sister Imperator. She said you could stay.” He said, still frowning.

But you grinned. “Oh my...wow, really?! That’s...Swiss, I don’t know how you did it, but thank you! I’d totally hug you right now, but well, you know.” You giggled nervously.

“Y/N...” Swiss said lowly. “Didn’t I say that I’d take care of it?”

“Uh, um...” You stuttered, suddenly nervous by Swiss’ gaze.

“Use your words, babe.”

“Uh, yeah. You did say that.” You sighed.

Swiss moved closer to you and placed a gentle hand on your knee. “So, why is it that you’re packed, huh? Did you not have faith in me?” He pouted.

“N-no...I didn’t have faith that Sister would be convinced.” You chuckled.

“Hmm, I suppose I can understand that.” Swiss said, moving even closer to you and placing his hand on your cheek. “Guess you’re stuck with me now, huh?” He smiled.

You suddenly became aware of how close he was to you when you felt his warm breath on your face. He would not stop looking into your eyes. You glanced down at his lips, feeling the urge to taste them.

Swiss smiled and leaned in, the cold metal of his mask hitting your face first then his soft lips.

You almost moaned at the pleasant feeling. You always had a soft spot for the charismatic Ghouls, now, you were finally his.

Slowly but surely, you started to feel the fabric of your duvet slid off your body. “Is this okay?” Swiss whispered.

You nodded rapidly, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.

As soon as you gave consent, Swiss ripped off your coverings. Moving closer to you, he rubbed his large hands up and down your thighs. You could already feel yourself become slick with excitement.

Swiss brought a hand up to your underwear, delicately moving the article of clothing out of the way. You gasped when his cold fingers started moving in between your folds. “You’re so wet for me already, babe?” He grinned beautifully.

Swiss then inserted a finger into you, pumping in and out at a rate that made your head spin. You panted and tangled your fingers into his hair, placing the other hand on his bicep to try and steady yourself.

You moaned in pleasure when Swiss added another finger, then rubbing tight circles on your aching clit with his thumb. “Fuck, Swiss...”

Feeling a little guilty that you were getting all the pleasure, you brought your hand down from his head to palm his hardening length through his pants. “Eager, are we, Y/N?” Swiss groaned, throwing his head back slightly and chuckled.

With Swiss’ consistent pressure on your clit, you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Quick shocks of intense pleasure making your body jolt occasionally. “Swiss...I’m gonna-”

Swiss quickly pulled his hand away, making you whine and almost let out a sob at the loss of contact. He grinned and brought his hand up, licking and sucking you off his fingers. “Can’t have you cumming just yet, babe.”

Swiss stood up from the bed to remove his clothes, taking off his briefs released his throbbing cock, a bead of precum already leaking out of the tip. He then hovered above you, placing himself in between your legs. “Again, you sure about this, babe?” He asked softly.

You almost groaned in frustration. “Yes, Swiss, I’m sure. Now please just fuck me!” You begged.

Swiss quickly obliged, thrusting up into you with a snap of his hips, not worrying about getting you to adjust to his size since you were already so prepared. You moaned loudly, finally feeling him stretching you out. “You feel so good.” Swiss moaned.

Swiss kept up a steady pace, his length hitting all the right places.

From already being so close to your release from his fingers before, you could feel the knot building up inside you once again. “Swiss, I’m so close.” You stuttered.

Swiss nodded and picked up the pace, close to his release as well. He thrusted into you fast and hard, making your tits bounce and your head close to hitting up against the wall. His mouth pouring out delicious moans every time he felt you clench around him.

You soon felt that familiar sensation flow throughout your entire body. The knot in you finally snapping, causing waves of ecstasy to burn through you like lava. You moaned loudly, eyes tearing up and your vision becoming hazy as you rode out your orgasm.

Swiss’ thrusts became sloppy, chasing and finally catching up to you in reaching his own climax. The shots of his warmth filling you up, making you moan in unison with him.

Swiss pulled out of you with a huff, throwing himself beside you and soon wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Wow...that was-”

“Fuckin’ amazing.” You giggled.

~~~~~~~~~~

I came up with a really dumb, cheesy title for a Multi Ghoul story. “Shimmying his way into my heart.” But I have no idea what to write to fit that title😂

Also, that was my first time writing smut so I’m sorry if it sucked. The cringeeeeeee 🙈

#the band ghost #ghost band fanfiction #swiss ghoul #multi ghoul #the band ghost smut #god I suck lmao

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