#avoiding the problem

[xandz89]

Do you ever just choose not to sleep at all just to avoid something happening at some point during the day and so the longer you stay up the more time you have to yourself and ability to avoid it

#relatable #3 am thoughts #avoiding the problem #should be sleeping #asking questions someone else has already asked #will regret staying up this late later

[flittermousemoth]

Self-aware of my self-destruction, yet unable to stop myself.

#bpd problems #bpd #bpd memes #fearful avoidant #fearful avoidant attachment #avoidant attachment #cluster b problems #ptsd #actually cptsd #actually bpd #self destruction #self aware queen #self sabotage

[a-healthy-dose-of-apathy]

there’s a part of me that wants to be completely and utterly alone. then there’s the other part that desperately clings to anyone i care about. i feel rather pathetic either way.

#bpd #actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd problems #actually borderline #bpd feels #bpd meme #bpd memes #paranoia #bpd rage #avoidant personality disorder #maybe the avoidant girlies will relate to this one

[vonkarmic]

[ID: A screenshot of Disco Elysium dialogue, edited to read: Racist Lorry Driver - “You sad little pervert.” Authority - Don’t give him power over you. If you back down from this, you’re proving him right. Rhetoric [Medium: Success] - Even if he is right, you can still recover from this. You have ample time to come out of this conversation on top. Composure [Challenging: Failure - Without even thinking, the words leave your mouth 1. I'm happy big and sexually normal End ID]

#disco elysium #the problem with this post format is that it really isn't that funny but i can't stop myself from making them once i imagine it in my head #<- also there is a lot of work that i avoided for 15 minutes. to make this instead. but that's probably not relevant

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023

#apollo don't fucking touch this one #serious post #not a shitpost #hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day #fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists #i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it. #so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you? #what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown #at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal #i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid #like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies #and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line #probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored #luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap! #watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry #while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent #also eggs are $15

[buggachat]

(random s5 finale musings) tbh I don't think Marinette chose to keep The Secrets™ from Adrien because Gabriel asked her to. I feel like Marinette keeping secrets like that is so consistent with her character; she hates giving people bad news, she hates rocking the boat, she hates upsetting people, she always chooses to keep any 'controversial' information to herself for as long as she can get away with (examples: bubbler scarf, telling Queen Bee she was benched, confessing to Adrien, warning Chat Noir about Scarabella or Rena Furtive, never told Chat Noir about Chat Blanc, etc) that I just totally believe she would've done it either way. She was even already having nightmares about Adrien hating her for finding out she defeated his father, so I feel like Gabriel's request was moreso giving her a go-ahead than it was a primary deciding factor, yknow?

#ml s5 spoilers #tbh half the time when thinking about it I forget that gabriel asked her to do it at all #because it just feels like such a Marinette™ thing to do to me lol #to be fair maybe I'm downplaying it? I do think Gabriel's plea struck some emotional chord with her too and helped push her that direction #but again I. totally believe she'd do it either way #and I do strongly believe that her decision is moreso ''I don't want to hurt Adrien'' than it is ''I want to honor Gabriel's final wish'' #she loves to avoid verbal/emotional problems and hoooo boy idk a worse verbal/emotion problem than #telling your boyfriend that his entire life is a lie and that he's not entirely human and that he was abused and controlled and puppeteered #all his life and also that his father was a terrorist and that she saw his mom's corpse in the basement #I mean. I don't think I'd have the emotional maturity to break that to someone either and I'm not.... FOURTEEN.... LOL

[autball]

A child is having outbursts at school, or at home, or wherever else, on a pretty regular basis. And at some point, someone suggests that they need to learn better coping skills.

They suggest therapy, or maybe there’s even a special program at school. Because yes, better coping skills/self-regulation skills/frustration tolerance really would solve everything, wouldn’t it?

Well those are fine skills to have, to be sure, but more often than not, it’s not what that child (or adult) needs most. What they really need is someone to figure out what’s stressing them out so much and then do something about THAT.

Because it’s not actually weird to be distressed over distressing things. Maybe *you* don’t understand what’s so distressing about school or the grocery store or that new person in the house, but that doesn’t mean *their* distress isn’t legit.

People reeaalllly like to suggest better coping skills for autistic, ADHD, and otherwise ND folks. (Since we already have a diagnosis, it’s that much easier to locate the problem in US.) And what they’re really saying with this an awful lot of the time is, “Can you please stop being so distressed by distressing things because it’s making a lot of work for us and we’re not about to change anything for you.”

So before you put someone in some sort of therapy that will teach them that they’re wrong to be upset about the things that upset them and how to get better at pretending to be okay, maybe consider that you might be expecting them to “cope” with more than they can reasonably be expected to.

#autism #autistic #actually autistic #autistic problems #autistic experiences #adhd #audhd #pda autism #pathological demand avoidance #neurodivergence #coping skills

[anneapocalypse]

One thing that really gets me about Urianger comforting Minfilia in Amh Araeng is that when she says Thancred hates her, Urianger never actually says, no, he doesn't. He says instead, none of this is your fault, and the original Minfilia wouldn't hold anything against you, and in typical Urianger form he says some things about fate and faith, and his words are kind and beautiful--but he also completely sidesteps the question of how Thancred feels about her.

And I think this moment is very reflective of Urianger's relationship to Thancred and child!Minfilia as a whole. It reflects what we see when we first see all of them together in Il Mheg.

Urianger knows that the way Thancred behaves toward the girl is hurting her. He's spent enough time around the two of them to see that plainly. Theoretically, he could say something to Thancred about it; they're obviously close friends, and if Thancred was going to value anyone's opinion, it would be his. But he doesn't say anything, because he still feels guilty and responsible for all of it: about their Minfilia going to the First and what happened to her there, and thus for what both Thancred and child!Minfilia are going through now. Even though Thancred has never outright blamed him for it (however he may feel privately, which I think is hard to say), it seems like Urianger still feels like he has no right to say anything.

So he tries to compensate instead. He's kind to Minfilia, connects with her in his own way and gives her books, and by the time we see them together he's obviously become something of a familial figure to her. I would say that he and Thancred aren't so much raising her together as they're doing it... around one another. Thancred is gruff and cold and holds Minfilia at arm's length emotionally so that his protectiveness comes off harshly even when it's well-meant, and Urianger dotes on her and tries to make up for it all while avoiding the actual problem.

So that conversation in Amh Araeng is both touching and maddening to me, and it really drives home what's maddening about it when, upon overhearing it, the Warrior of Light turns to Thancred to ask him if he has anything to say to Minfilia--who has just said, out loud, that she thinks Thancred wishes she was dead--and Thancred just says, "Not today."

And so they both go on avoiding the actual problem, for just a little longer.

#afk by the aetheryte #the scions in the first are such a mess #i love them and they make me climb the walls #ffxiv stuff #shadowbringers spoilers #i've loved that conversation since i first played it #and at the same time upon revisiting it i really feel #that glaring absence of anything addressing the actual problem #minfilia's actual pain #because urianger is still avoiding it #urianger augurelt #thancred waters #ryne waters

[servospawn]

calling out all the 30+ yr old simmers..

no shade to the teens and early twenties bloggers but it’s hard finding people within my age group that are active and continue to contribute here in the community. 

also idk if anyone else experiences this but sometimes it can be difficult relating to the younger population due to generational differences, pop culture, etc. 

please reblog or comment if you fall into the 30+ age simblr category.

#late late twenties is okay too #but really looking for the elders lol #also i know a lot of ppl who are older mostly stick to ts3 #which is fine! #ill never have a problem looking at ts3 anything #because thats home lol #cause ill see a blog that has some good food and then ill see their age is 16 and that makes me uncomfortable.. so ill avoid following #maybe thats just a quirk of mine

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

#text #personal #aro #aromantic #aroace #aspec #qpr #queerplatonic relationships #queer platonic relationships #tbh i was around when qprs were still getting footing. ppl werent sure how to properly label them #so to avoid allos saying it's just friends the common response was 'its more than friends but less than romance' #as if they were trying to justify it's existence as if we had to have a equivalent to romance to be justified in our identities and as ppl #because being aro made you not be a person. because how can you be a person if you dont love or have a partner #because being aro was sad because being aro meant ou were alone and you shouldn't want to be alone!! #and these ideas made it so that amatonormativity was just reinforced in aro spaces #and it isn't until recent years when amatonormativity started getting used top put a name to the problem #that i really saw ppl start standing up for aros who didnt partner because why are we expected to partner anyways? #shouldnt ppl be whole as they are? #and this is only my experience im not saying this happens everywhere #but this is why i think we need to have a conversation about QPRs and how they are used in aro spaces #because im not the only one who struggled through this #my experience may not be universal but my experience has happened to others #and thats worth talking about #srry im having a lot of thoughts recently

[starry-bi-sky]

Another small Clone^2 thought

Danny's hands are scarred.

Really, every part of him is. His arms, his legs, his torso. All of them littered in nicks and scratches and scabs that he's picked at over, and over, and over again. And then bigger ones, jagged scars from debris stabbing at him, and burns of ectoplasm blasts that melted through his regular clothes and hit his skin.

The one thing that never really got scarred were his hands. They were callused, of course, from all his climbing, and hitting, and hanging on for dear life to things. But never really scarred, not really. Maybe he just got lucky, maybe it was the fact that he wore gloves and they leather, and leather is harder to get through than cotton. Maybe both.

But, well, that's no longer case. But the scars on his hands take place on his palms. Two clean, thick lines going diagonally over his palms. Not from any enemy he's ever faced, but proof of his meeting with the little boy sitting between his knees, running his tiny fingers over those same scars.

Damian, his little brother. He scarred them, with that katana of his.

First when they first met, when Damian called him an imposter and proceeded to attack him. It was really only from Danny's exposure to the quick movements of ghosts that kept him from getting shish-kabob'd by Damian's sword.

And it was only because he was an idiot, and his brain was not faster than those reflexes that he kept grabbing the blade with his hands. That it kept cutting into that leather until it started cutting skin.

And then numerous times over on those rocky first months of Damian staying with him, when he didn't know any English, and Danny didn't know any Arabic. When Danny would piss him off or go looking for him when he ran off, he would have to grab his katana while Damian was swinging it at him.

His hands wouldn't heal for months because of it. The wounds kept being re-opened. Kept bleeding. Kept hurting. Until they slowly stopped hurting, and he knew that it wasn't a good thing.

Danny's parents were very upset when they saw his hands. It was hard to lie about where he got them - the lines are too clean, too consistent, to have been accidents. Danny didn't know how to lie and say it wasn't because of Damian. That it wasn't his katana that they knew nothing about that was stained with his blood.

He found a way to anyways, because he thought Damian was worth it at the time. He was a kid. He was scared. He was hurting other people and that's all he was ever taught to do.

So Danny thought a little pain was worth it.

(He still does.)

Oh, fun fact. There are three nerves in the human hand. the radial nerve, the median nerve, and the ulnar nerve. From what he could find on it, the ulnar nerve traveled up into the pinky and the ring finger, the median went through the middle of the palm and the ring, the middle, and the index, and the radial nerve went into the thumb and the index.

Fun fact, did you know consistent (or deep enough) lacerations to the palm could end up cutting a nerve? And that such lacerations can cause numbness, loss of feeling, and weakness in the hand, fingers, and thumb?

Here's a final fun fact: Danny had to go to physical therapy after his hands finally began to heal. Because Damian's katana had cut his radial nerve. There are seventeen thousands touch receptors in the hand, Danny's lost some of those.

His hands still hurt when he closes and opens them, the scarring pinches a little. He doesn't know why but his fingers hurt now when its too humid or too cold, or when its about to rain. It sucks. It's worth it.

He lied about before; here's the final fun fact:

There is a deeply, deeply, guilty look on Damian's face as he runs his little hands over Danny's scarred palms, carefully closing and opening his fingers in a slow rendition of his physical therapy workouts.

(Because even if it's ended, he still has to do them. Pain doesn't go away even if it's healed.)

"I'm sorry." Damian says in a meek, thick voice. He's said it before, when they've done this before at all hours of the day. Danny's wondering if Damian does it on purpose - hurt himself with this, that is. Not apologize. "I hurt you."

Danny sighs, deeply, and leans forward to press his face into his little brother's hair. "It's okay." He mutters, again. And he'll say it again, and again, and again, until Damian finally believes him. "I'm not mad."

"I am." Damian insists, his voice wobbles. "I hurt you, Danny."

"And I say it's okay that you did, Damian." Danny repeats, and wraps an arm around Damian's middle to sit him on his leg. Damian doesn't look at him, just curls his fingers around Danny's other hand and looks at the scar there. "Like I said, I'm not mad. I would do it again."

"Do not."

So, Danny's hands are scarred.

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dp crossover #dpdc #dp x dc au #dp dc crossover #danny fenton is not the ghost king #danny fenton is a clone #damian clone au #clone squared au #late night starry posts #just some food for thought that i thought would be neat #the scarred hands thing really only applies to a no-powers danny i think #because a halfa danny can just go intangible #so problem avoided #danny's got quick reflexes but his brain isnt quite as fast as his body #so his solution to something coming at him is to 'block' #and that includes very sharp objects #anyways i thought it was an angsty thought and thought to share #clone^2

[cemeterything]

you know that post that's like "it's a good skill to recognize when your au fanfic has diverged so much from the source material that you're basically writing original fiction with ocs at this point" i have the exact opposite problem. i keep making ocs based extremely loosely on character archetypes and dynamics i like with enough degrees of separation between them that a casual observer definitely wouldn't spot a connection but i always get sniffed out in the end anyway. like if i told you about my apocalyptic eldritch horror mech pilot ocs i guarantee at least one of you would be like "wait that's fitzier". if i explain vanessa in enough detail it becomes obvious she's a season 8 hermitcraft goodtimeswithscar expy. i made annie before i read homestuck but the similarities between him and vriska are undeniable right down to the cannibalistic mommy issues survival-based morality system spider motif and blue and black colour scheme.

#🐉 #likewise lincoln ray is extremely dave strider but i made him before i read homestuck so its just an unfortunate coincidence #i dont have a PROBLEM with this btw i see it as a challenge. how can i avoid being too derivative and unoriginal whilst #keeping characteristics that i like and want to explore further

[happyk44]

Annabeth calling Percy and Grover from some lair she got stuck in because she got curious about something she was told so many times to stop being curious about, so now they gotta go get her, and afterwards Grover sits her down for a lesson on prey animal common sense. Annabeth trying to explain that she is not a goat. Grover pressing his finger to his mouth, gently shushing her before continuing on

Also Percy explaining that this is why he has to follow her on things because she is the cat and curiosity is always ready to kill her. Him gesturing erratically while Grover is setting up his presentation because "Sometimes I wanna follow Grover, Annabeth! But I can't because you keep arguing your way into danger! So I have to follow you down the dark spooky tunnel instead of hanging out with my best friend in the land of rainbows and sunshine"

"what if the land of rainbows and sunshine is a trap"

"I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE YOU KEEP GOING TO THE EFFING TUNNEL"

#grover underwood #annabeth chase #percy jackson #grover is a magical goatman with a magical flute and the common sense of a prey animal. percy is an ocean child who can and will explode yo #annabeth on the other hand... she's got the brains. she's got the strategy. she's got the training. #no external powers tho. and a minimal sense of danger that ducks out the moment she comes across something that interests her #or makes her feel stupid because then she'll yell at it - see the sphinx from BOTL 😂 #oh oh! part of grover's presentation is how to headbutt danger if avoidance doesn't work and annabeth points out she doesn't have horns #grover: how's that my fucking problem #happy talks pjo

[gaasublarb]

Just Hobie Talking

Got sick of hearing voices I wasn't in the mood for.

This is the only song I need sometimes. Thank you

~ The version of this post with a full transcript ~

#i swear the oi oi worked when i first put it up but now its like... skipping it somehow??? 😭 #oi oi is 100% there on computer wtf mobile??? #mobile tumblr problems #Hobie Brown #Spiderpunk #my posts #atsv #videos #sometimes they're talking at the same time as others #so tempted to sacrifice some Hobie words to avoid others

[mismess]

Nearly getting thrown off a skyscraper, and successfully getting thrown off the catwalks of the tallest damn stage in the world, may lead to some issues down the line or something idk

#buster moon #sing #sing movie #sing 2 #miss crawly #sing 2021 #lekko's art #sing 2016 #doodles #comic #comics #just the occasional freak out when attempting to get on his iconic moon. Nothing a little Avoiding That Problem wont solve #assuming he still uses the moon. we don't see it in 2

[astrangerthatlovesyou]

Having AvPD is like: I’m so open, everyone knows everything about me. That’s terrifying, everyone must hate how much I share. God I feel so exposed I feel sick. And the last time you opened up to someone was October of 2021 when you told your mom you were a little stressed.

#avpd #avoidant personality disorder #personality disorder #actually avpd #pd #avpd things #cluster c personality disorder #avpd problems #cluster c #actually avoidant #actually cluster c #avoidant #avoidant pd #pro self diagnosis #self dx safe #endo safe #pro endo #mental health #avpd feels