#as someone who almost ended up there TWICE in a month I’m allowed to say this

[tallmadgeandtea]

This week on Turn Twitter

#this came to me in a vision #as someone who almost ended up there TWICE in a month I’m allowed to say this #this week on turn twitter #benjamin tallmadge #alexander hamilton #turn: washington's spies

[fics-and-quotes-andthelike]

We Still Have Time

Title: We Have Time (Part 2) - We Still Have Time

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader

Word Count: ~3,676

In which Dean has found the courage to be with the reader, but one mistake means risking everything.

Part 1

A/N: Part 2 of We Have Time! Thank you @procrastination20 for the idea, I really hope you guys enjoy it!

You’d always heard that long distance relationships were hard. 

It’s not that you didn’t believe your friends when they’d told you, it was more that it never really occurred to you just how hard it would be. That’s probably why you had agreed to it in the first place. 

Almost a year ago, after you and Dean had finished fixing up Baby, he and Sam had stayed in town for two more weeks, allowing you and Dean to get to know each other even better and decide that the two of you definitely wanted to try being in a relationship. You had a feeling that Sam had a lot to do with that decision from Dean’s end, but you weren’t complaining.

On the Winchester’s last day in town, Dean had finally fulfilled his promise and taken you on a ride. It had lasted through the night, and at one point you’d had Eye of the Tiger playing from the speaker, both of you half singing along as you tried to contain your laughter.

At the end of the day, Dean had left you back at your apartment with a gentle kiss on the lips, a tight hug, and a promise to come back.

After the brothers had left, Dean made a point to call you almost every day and tell you about the places that he and Sam were visiting. You found it odd that they made a point to never visit the same place twice, even if the town sounded amazing, but always reminded yourself that wanderers rarely tended to stay in one place.

Even better than phone calls were the rare times when Sam and Dean would swing by for a visit. Those were your favorite times, since Dean would always take you out on a date of sorts and stay for a couple of days before hitting the road again. Those visits would usually end just as quickly as they began, with Dean getting a call from another traveler, or Sam stopping by to let Dean know that it was time to go.

But if you were being honest, you wanted a bit more than that. You wanted to be able to wake up everyday knowing that Dean was nearby. You wanted to be together enough that you felt comfortable holding hands in public. You wanted to skip that two minute awkwardness that always took place when Dean apologized for not coming back sooner. You wanted him to stop avoiding questions about his personal life. You wanted Dean to be honest with you about why he kept a knife in his jacket and a hand on his phone whenever he was with you. 

You never complained though. You had agreed to a long distance relationship in the first place, and you didn’t want to give up Dean completely just because you couldn’t handle a few measly months away from each other.

Plus, you couldn’t blame Dean for the bits of secrecy, right? The two of you barely had any time together as it was, and he probably just didn’t want to spend the only time that you two had together focused on blurting out every single detail about himself when you could be spending time eating burgers and watching Untouchables together.

But still, every time you went out with your friends and their significant others, you couldn’t help but feel a little pang in your chest when you thought about the fact that you would probably never experience the same ease and comfort that came with spending time with someone who you knew would be around every day.

But you always shook off those negative thoughts. You knew that being with Dean was worth that feeling. What the two of you had was enough.

Wasn’t it?

~~~

Sam looked up in surprise, trying to catch Dean’s eye. “We were just there two months ago, we can’t go back now.”

Dean shrugged, avoiding Sam’s gaze as he cleaned out the barrel of his gun. “I’m not saying we’re going there for a vacation, I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt to stop by for a few days.”

Sam scoffed and set his gun down on the table standing between the two brothers in their motel room. “What happened to being discreet? To never being in the same town twice?”

Dean looked up with a smile. “Well, we’ve broken every other rule in the books. What’s one more?”

“Dean, I know you like this girl, but we just can’t keep doing this.” “Hey, you’re the one who pushed me towards her in the first place.” “I know, I know. It’s just-” Same took a deep breath. The last thing he wanted to do was somehow get it into Dean’s head that he had to break up with you. He had to choose his words carefully. “I’m just saying that we need to be careful. We always have a flock of demons and angels tracking our every move, and the last thing we want is for her to get hurt, right?”

Dean froze.

Sam cursed under his breath. “I’m not saying we need to stop visiting her altogether, alright? I’m just saying-”

Dean shook his head. “No, you’re right. We’ve been getting careless. I’ll call y/n, let her know that I won’t be around for a while.” He walked out of the room without waiting for a response.

Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. There had to be a way for Dean to keep visiting you while still keeping you safe, right? You shouldn’t have to break off your relationship just because of angry angels and nosy demons.

He grabbed his gun and continued to brainstorm as he worked.

If they could ward your house…but that would only attract attention. They could leave weapons with you, but that would mean giving you an explanation. An explanation that they would probably have to give you sooner or later anyway.

Sam’s eyes widened in realization. The only way that your relationship with Dean could ever work is if you knew. But Dean would never do that, not since there was a chance that things would get more dangerous for you.

Sam looked towards the door that Dean had walked out of, unable to make out words but hearing soft murmuring from Dean that sounded like a stream of apologies.

Sam sighed, dejected. What was worse? Never really being together because you knew that Dean was harboring secrets, or letting you in on the job so that the brothers could protect you while you and Dean were finally able to fully connect?

Sam took a deep breath and buried his face in his hands. Dean was going to have to make a decision soon, and Sam had a feeling that either way, none of you were going to enjoy it.

~~~

You were a good worker. You knew you were, your boss knew you were, and everyone else in town knew that you were.

In fact, every time someone from town had car trouble and had to bring their car to the garage, they asked for you specifically.

You might have been bad at long distance, but you were damn good with cars, and it was something that you would take pride in until the day that you retired.

You really were a good worker. But you were also a good multitasker. 

You’d found that out when you were young, when you had learned to do your homework while keeping an eye on the auto races that your parents would watch in the living room.

You had managed to keep the skill throughout your life, and were basically doing the same thing today, with half of your brain focused on getting cars repaired, and the other half of your brain screaming out in pain as you watched Formula Drift.

“He must be blind,” you muttered to yourself as you listened to the judges on television. You were working on autopilot, your hands working with the engine of a client’s car. “Blind or stupid.”

“I agree.”

You jerked upright, startled by the voice that had appeared from behind you. You whipped around, coming face to face with someone that you hadn’t seen in nearly a year.

“Dean!”

The older Winchester grinned, holding his arms out as you ran to him. He engulfed you in a hug, resting his chin on top of your head as you wound your arms around him.

You held on to him tightly, worried that he would fade away once again if you let go of him now. “I thought you were still on the road.”

You could feel Dean’s chest vibrate softly as he spoke. “I wanted to surprise my girl. Is that okay?”

You laughed lightly, pulling back to look up into his eyes. “Of course that’s okay, why wouldn’t it be?”

Dean’s eyes drifted over to the television. “You seem busy.”

You shook your head. “Not busy at all. Well, a little busy. Slightly busy with this car, but I should be done soon. Do you want to wait for me here? We can go out after, if you don’t already have plans with Sam.”

Dean smiled softly, keeping his hands gently planted on your waist. “Sammy’ll be fine on his own for a few hours. Today is all about you, sweetheart.”

You smiled and leaned forward, resting your head against his chest again. “I like the sound of that.”

~~~

You leaned against the bathroom door in bliss. You and Dean had gone out for dinner, and he’d taken you out for a ride afterwards.

You had offered your apartment up as a place for the two of you to watch a movie, but since your roommate was most likely there, Dean had insisted that you use his motel room since Sam would probably be out of the motel for a few more hours, giving you plenty of alone time.

When you’d gotten there, the two of you had gone straight to the bed to make yourselves comfortable while he put on Die Hard, per your request.

The two of you had barely even watched the movie, opting to spend time talking and catching up on what the two of you hadn’t said during your calls.

You learned a bit about his friend Castiel, which you thought was an interesting name, and he learned more about your roommate and a few new friends that you’d made.

By the time the credits were rolling, you’d somehow ended up sitting up against Dean’s side, his fingers combing through your hair as his other hand held one of yours.

He placed a quick kiss to the top of your head. “Should I take you back to your place? You got work tomorrow, wouldn’t want your boss firing you.”

You laughed lightly. “You’re probably right. Not about firing me, she’d never be able to replace me, but I should really get going. I’m going to run to the restroom real quick, I’ll be right back.”

Dean hummed in acknowledgment and released you, standing up to stretch as you made your way to the bathroom.

You closed the door behind you and smiled to yourself, leaning back against the door. You wished that you could always have this. That you could come home from work and spend time with your boyfriend, or at least know that he would be nearby. 

Your smile faded. You knew that you were only going to hurt yourself by holding onto those fantasies. Dean and his brother like to wander, and you didn’t want to be the one who held him back.

You closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the door. Maybe you could ask Dean if you could tag along. If you could be a wanderer with him and Sam. You would have to leave your job, but at least you and Dean would finally be together. It would be worth it. 

He was worth it.

A smile crossed your features once again. Maybe that was the solution. Maybe it could work.

You whirled around, a hand on the doorknob, ready to make the proposal to Dean. But you suddenly froze when you heard the motel door slam open and Sam’s frantic voice fill the air.

“Garth called. Possible vampire nest in the next town over.”

“Sammy-”

“If you want to stay head with y/n, I can scope out the area and let you know if I need backup-”

“Sammy!”

You heard a pause. Complete silence fell over the motel room. You could hear your heart pounding in your chest.

Vampire nest? Was that code for something? It had to be, there was no such thing as vampires. Right?

But deep down, you knew that something was wrong. The silence hadn’t lifted. If it had been some sort of code, someone would have spoken by now. 

You could hear Sam’s voice fill the silence, but couldn’t make out any words. Your heart sped up. The only thing worse than silence was not knowing what the brothers were saying.

And there was only one way to find out.

You opened the bathroom door slowly, and were met with the pale faces of Sam and Dean Winchester.

You swallowed heavily. “Hey, Sam.”

Sam forced a smile. “Hey. Sorry about that, we were just-”

“I get it,” you said, pasting a false smile on your face. “Brother code and all that. I think I’m going to head back. I’ll call my roommate.”

You saw Dean shut his eyes tightly, shaking his head slowly. “Y/n…”

“It’s fine,” you said, somewhat desperately. “Honestly, I’ll just call you tomorrow.”

“Please…”

“I’ll see you later, okay?” You moved to walk around them and right out the front door when Dean held out a hand to stop you.

“Wait, wait, wait. Could you…could you hear me out? Please?” Dean’s eyes were pleading.

You almost said no. You wanted to say no. Anyone who truly believed in vampires was not someone that you wanted to be in a relationship with.

But as you looked at him, you stopped yourself. You had just convinced yourself to leave behind everything for this man. You truly and genuinely loved him with all of your heart. Shouldn’t you at least give him a chance to explain himself? 

You took a deep breath. You’d had a sense that he was hiding something since the day you first met, but you’d decided to put your trust in him anyway. Maybe it was time for him to really earn that trust.

You nodded slowly and walked over to the bed, settling down and facing Dean. “Okay.”

Dean practically buckled in relief. “Okay?”

You nodded again. “Okay. Let’s hear it. I want the truth, though, Dean. The whole truth. Don’t deflect the way you always do when I ask about your family or your life. I deserve more than that.”

Dean nodded, pain in his eyes. “I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry about all that.”

You looked over at Sam, whose face was still ashen and afraid. “Alright then,” you said, steeling yourself.

“Let’s hear it.”

~~~

When you were younger, you used to go to sleepovers where your friends would tell you scary stories about werewolves and vampires that crept in the night, waiting until you were sleeping to jump out and pounce. Now that you were older and knew better, your boyfriend was telling you a scary story about how demons had killed his mom, and how that had set off a sequence of events that resulted in him and his brother becoming hunters of the supernatural.

Your thoughts were going off the rails when Dean finally finished his story. Could he be telling the truth? He certainly believed what he was saying, that was for sure. But how could there possibly have been a monster in your own town? How had nobody noticed? How had you not noticed?

Sam’s phone rang, snapping you out of your thoughts. He glanced down at it and looked up at you apologetically. “Dean, we’ve gotta go.”

Dean remained staring at you, his eyes pleading with you to believe him, to stay with him. To not let this change what the two of you had been building for years.

And you wanted to. Every fiber of your being told you to stay with Dean, that it was the only way for the two of you to make things work. And of course you wanted it to work. Dean had a special place in your heart now, one that you never wanted him to leave from.

But you couldn’t. How could you possibly live a life where your boyfriend and his brother believed in the scary stories that kids were told in the dark? Or worse, if it was all true, how could you leave everything and everyone behind, living a life on the run and trying to avoid being killed by monsters that basically crawled out of your nightmares?

You looked up at Dean and shook your head slowly. The disappointment in Dean’s eyes made your own eyes well up with tears. Then his mask went up, shutting you out as you felt shame boil up in your stomach.

You looked away. “I’m sorry, Dean. Truly, I am, but I just… I can’t.”

Dean nodded once, standing abruptly and sending a short look to Sam, who gave you a sad glance before walking out the door.

Dean looked back at you. “I know it’s a lot. I get it. But I’m gonna keep being honest with you, alright? Sam and I are only going to the next town over. I’ll text you the name of the motel we’re staying at.”

“Dean-”

“You don’t have to show up. If you don’t, no hard feelings, alright? If you do…”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment. 

Dean cleared his throat and stood. “I guess I’ll see you around. Or not.”

You watched as he made his way to the door. He paused for a moment, his hand on the doorknob.

“Bye, y/n.”

~~~

They hadn’t talked about it yet. 

After Dean had left you behind in the motel room, he’d silently climbed into the Impala and turned up the music full blast before peeling out of the parking lot and making his way to their next destination.

Sam, choosing to not start any kind of argument, had remained silent through the whole ride. So had Dean.

The hunt had gone smoothly, the Winchesters getting in and out in only two days. The whole time, the brothers only talked about the hunt and their leads, never once mentioning you or what might happen if you showed up. Or worse, if you didn’t.

When the hunt was over, Sam and Dean had wordlessly agreed that they would stay in the motel a little longer, just in case. But still, they didn’t talk about it.

Not on the first day, when the hunt started. Not on the second day, when the hunt ended. Not on the third day, when Dean spent all of his time at the motel, glancing at the door every now and then. And not today, the fourth day, when Garth had called and said that he needed the boys for another hunt.

Sam hung up the call, looking over at Dean. “I can head out if you want to catch up later.”

Dean shook his head, his mask planted firmly over his face as he gave a small smirk. “And let you have all the fun? I don’t think so.” He stood and grabbed his bag, making his way to the motel door, even as Sam tried a last appeal. 

“But, Dean-”

Dean turned, a hand on the doorknob. “C‘mon, Sammy, let’s get this son of a-”

Dean’s heart stopped as he opened the door. You stood on the other side, your face set and your arms crossed over your chest.

Your eyebrows were furrowed, your feet planted as if bracing yourself for an argument. You looked like you hadn’t slept in days, and you definitely looked like you weren’t leaving until you said what you wanted to say. As much as he hated to admit it, Dean thought that you looked a little like a hunter. 

“You’re here,” Dean finally managed to croak out.

You nodded, your face relaxing slightly. “I’m here. And I’m sorry for walking out.”

Dean nodded, his heart pounding and his brain still trying to register your words. “Does that mean-”

“It means I believe you. I’ve been doing some of my own research and some things started adding up. Anyway, look, I’m not going to pretend to understand what’s happening with you two, but I know that I want to learn. I want to be a part of your life, Dean, even if it’s scary and dark and I still can’t really wrap my head around it.”

And in less than a second, you were in his arms, his face buried in your neck as he held you like a lifeline. You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close.

Maybe this was crazy. Maybe you were getting sucked into something that you weren’t ready for. But he had been honest with you. And you were willing to try.

 And that was what was important.

After a moment, you released each other and took a step back. You looked around Dean and offered a small smile and a wave to Sam, who gave you a wave back, a look of ecstatic relief on his face.

You looked back as Dean gave you a tired smile, reaching out a hand to grab yours as he gently pulled you inside. “You sure you’re ready for this? It’s no picnic, and giving you the whole story is probably gonna take a while.”

You smiled back and shrugged, the last of the tension in your shoulders finally easing. “I should know what my boyfriend does for a living, shouldn’t I? And don’t you worry. 

You and me? We still have time.”

#supernatural #dean winchester #dean x reader fluff #dean x reader angst #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fluff #supernatural fic #supernatural x reader #sam winchester #my fic #fluff #dean winchester fluff #part 2 #part two #angst with a happy ending #light angst #one shot #dean x female!reader #dean winchester x female!reader #female reader #fanfic #spn fanfic #spn #spnfandom #supernatural imagine #supernatural imagines #chevy impala #rx 7 #formula drift

[scuttling]

Cat's Out of the Bag

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Emily Prentiss/Gender Neutral Reader Word Count: 1,311 Tags: SFW, Miscommunication with a happy ending, Episode Related: 07x12 Unknown Subject Summary: It scares you to say love, but it’s easier to say unrequited: it's absolutely unrequited, if she’s in a romantic relationship with someone named Sergio.  A/N: Thank you CJ @lcvingprentjss for sending in this prompt!!!

has started a romantic relationship with a man named Sergio

You can’t get the phrase out of your head no matter how hard you try; you know you weren’t meant to hear it, that Hotch thought everyone was asleep or otherwise too preoccupied to notice, but when it comes to Emily, you notice.

It started as just coworkers, then progressed to coworkers who go out for drinks or to the movies sometimes, then Coworker A (aka you) with a huge, embarrassing crush on Coworker B (aka Emily), and now… 

It scares you to say love, but it’s easier to say unrequited: it's absolutely unrequited, after all, if she’s in a romantic relationship with someone named Sergio. 

Mentally, you shake away the thought. It’s not a big deal. You certainly never expected she could feel the same way, so what is lost by hearing this except for the romantic fantasy pushed far, far into the back of your mind? You’ll still go out for drinks and to the movies, do everything you can to get her to laugh, so you can get a glimpse of that megawatt smile. Nothing will change except that your previously one in a million odds are now zero in a million, and that’s okay. Really. You just want her to be happy, at the end of the day. 

It’s hard, when you get back to the BAU and she grins at you tiredly over the desk partition, asks if you want to stop for milkshakes before heading home; you would love to, normally, as some of your funniest conversations happen in the middle of the night over strawberry shakes, but this time you think twice. It's been a long few days, and she should get home and get some rest… even if it’s next to Sergio. 

It happens like this for the next few weeks: you work, listen to podcasts, keep to yourself a bit more, trying not to pine for Emily when she bests Reid at chess or grills an unsub with the imitation of a smile and a biting tone. Every day you love her more, see her more, but then you remember Sergio, that she’s never looked happier, and push those thoughts way back into the deeper recesses of your brain. 

She notices about a month later; more likely, she noticed weeks ago, but it’s not until later that she calls you out on your behavior.

“Hey,” she murmurs on the jet one night, when the rest of the team is curled up, or leaned back, in their seats, catching as much sleep as the short flight from Atlanta to Quantico will allow. She slides into the seat across from you, reaches out to cover your hand on the tabletop with hers. “You’ve been withdrawn lately, not acting like yourself. I’m worried. What’s going on?” 

You smile sadly, touched by her concern; above all else, she is an amazing friend, and you are beyond lucky to have her in your life, in any capacity. 

“It’s nothing, Em, really. Please don’t worry about me, I’m okay.” 

“You don’t look okay,” she counters, mouth curved into a frown. “You seem sad lately, and you’ve turned down every one of my invitations to hang out since The Piano Man case. If something’s going on, or I did something that upset you…” 

“Nothing’s going on, and you haven’t upset me.” Your reply is almost tender, because you can’t have her going about thinking she’s done something to harm you. This is a you thing, not an Emily thing, and you will get over it in time. You just need time “I just figured… you should probably get home to Sergio instead.” 

She raises her eyebrows like that was the last explanation she’d expected from you.

“How do you know about Sergio? I haven’t told anyone.” 

“Hotch mentioned it that night, when we flew home from Houston, and I wasn’t asleep; I wasn’t intentionally eavesdropping—” She waves a hand dismissively. 

“No, I know you weren’t, I know you wouldn’t, but shit. I can see how you’d come to that conclusion, given what you heard.” 

Conclusion? you think. What other conclusion is there, when she’s ‘started a romantic relationship with a man named Sergio’? That’s pretty cut and dry, as statements go.

“Conclusion?” you say, because it sounds like, maybe, what you’d assumed is wrong, and the idea makes your heart beat rapidly in your chest. She smiles, something friendly but wicked, then shakes her head and sighs. You already feel a little silly for what she’s about to say. 

“Yeah. Sergio is my cat.” 

You blink once, twice, three times, and replay her voice in your ears. Cat. Her cat. Sergio is her cat.

Oh.

Oh.

“Oh.” 

“He’s gorgeous. All black. Loves those kitty Gogurt tubes. You should come by and meet him some time. Maybe tonight?” Her expression is one of slight trepidation, like she’s worried this is another invitation you’ll turn down, but you nod your head, still in a state of shock and, even more dangerous, hope.

“Sure. I’d love to,” you say, flashing her a more genuine smile, and she returns it with one of her own, bright and real and oh so Emily.

“Great. I’ll even let you feed him a Gogurt,” she says with a wink, and then she takes out her headphones and you sink into your seat, feeling lighter than you have in a long time. 

When you get to her apartment, she opens the door and a slinky black cat rushes to her, curls its lithe body around her ankle boots in search of some attention. She bends down to scoop him up, kisses the top of his head, and then offers him to you like a very welcome present. 

“This is Sergio. Will you hold him while I get the treats?” she asks, and you take him in your arms, stroke his silky fur, scratch between his ears while she heads to the kitchen and opens the cupboard. 

“You are handsome,” you tell the purring feline, whose green eyes are peering into yours as if he knows something you don’t and is holding it over your head. Cats. “But I pictured you taller. Less hairy. Maybe with a tattoo.” 

Emily laughs beside you, and you hadn’t even realized she’d entered the room. She reaches over your shoulder and scratches his head, runs a fingertip down the length of his nose. 

“Oh, Sergio? Nah, he’s a square,” she jokes. She takes him from your arms, hands you the tube of chicken flavored… paste… and you both laugh and coo as he licks it up happily. When he’s done, she sets him down, takes the empty tube to the trash; you follow behind and wash your hands in the kitchen sink. 

When you turn around, drying your hands on a towel, she’s there, and she removes it from your grasp and sets it on the counter; then, she reaches out, cups your face in her hands, and looks so deeply into your eyes you feel your cheeks heat at the contact. 

“There is no man named Sergio,” she says, and her voice is almost hypnotically calm and smooth as she does. “I’m not dating anyone, and I’m not in love with anyone… except you. You are the one I love.” Her voice does shake then, and you exhale softly, nodding but not breaking eye contact, so she hears you. So she knows. 

“You are the one I love, too,” you murmur, and she nods her head and leans forward to brush her lips over yours. 

“Yeah,” she agrees, pulling back, “I figured that out when you were jealous of my cat.” She kisses you again, and you wrap your arms around her and pull her in to a warm, tight hug.

During her therapy appointment the next day, she doesn't have to lie.

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x gender neutral reader

[masterthespianduchovny]

There is something about Sydney feeling despondent when she revealed that Carmy cooked her favorite meal. Because there’s layers to this confession, it was almost as if she didn’t want to say. Admittedly, she was upset with him, however, the revelation felt a bit touchy for her. It was if this information was something she held close to her chest for a long time and didn’t want others to know. Like him cooking the best meal she ever had was something only for her to know. She can’t even look at Marcus when she says Carmy was the chef. It was almost as if she was revealing the secrets to her soul and to look at him would leave her vulnerable. Compared to Marcus who is jovial when she confirms what we all suspected.

Why is thus revelation strangely intimate? Not between Marcus and Sydney, but due to Sydney telling this guarded tidbit about her New York adventure.

I don’t think she has feelings for Carmy (yet), she’s just guarded and used to feeling misunderstood. And, in that moment, confused and feeling a mish mash of emotions.

She met her hero, now what?

It wasn’t as simple as meeting someone you admire letting you down because this wasn’t that or, at least, this was more than that. More than that as in they’ve developed a relationship and a system. She was his partner in a sense and right hand person. They shared a lot of the same beliefs about the culinary world and how they wanted to do some things differently. No job, no person, no cdc has ever given her that much freedom. Remember she said one chef had her zest for 8 months. Just zest. Where as Carmy listened to her and allowed her to make decisions, influence the menu, and run the kitchen.

The other part of that is no one else probably understood her passion for cooking. Like they supported her wanting to be a chef, but they don’t get it and wouldn’t have gotten her admiration for Carmy. They would’ve teased her and called it a crush. When, most likely, eating Carmy’s meal changed her life, it solidified the path she was on. She likely followed his career and kept up with his moves from that point on. Probably had plans to go to New York again and eat at his restaurant.

Because I don’t think it’s coincidence that she happened to find out that he was back and Chicago and hiring. And I’m not even sure the story about her dad was true. Lol. Sydney doesn’t seem to have any attachment to the Beef or the food. She didn’t push back on Carmy getting rid of the spaghetti—the most popular menu item. Or him changing the menu at all. And if her story was true, for the nostalgia alone she would’ve said something. Hell, I get mad at fast food places for taking off menu items I like. I’m still not over Taco Bell getting rid of their churros and that was like a decade ago. Even though McDonald’s brought it back, I was peeved when they got rid of the hi-c orange for like 3 years. Yet, Sydney doesn’t blink twice when Carmy changes the menu???

I think she lies about why she wanted to work there because she doesn’t want to seem pathetic, desperate, and stalkery. Yet, after getting to work with Carmy and closely at that, she finds a kindred spirit. Someone who gets it. Someone who gets her.

So she tells this personal thing to Marcus because she kinda has to. She brought it up and it would be weird to be so guarded about the chef. But she’s also hurt and probably feeling a sense of loss. Mourning what maybe the end of something that was shaping up to be great. She also was probably processing how difficult it is to completely rid yourself of that Brigade trauma and how it resulted in him lashing out at her. She felt betrayed! They were supposed to be better than that.

That scene just sticks out to me because of how personal and revealing it was for Sydney and why.

#sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #the bear on hulu #the bear fx #the bear #the bear meta

[inquisitor-of-hearts]

Call Me Yours

Sam Drake/Reader

You're going through a rough phase where you feel anxious and hurt but try to make it through each day as it comes. Then you happen to meet Sam.

Spoilers for all of Uncharted.

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 1,949

on Ao3

“Seriously?” you ask out loud while staring at the texts you had sent to your so called boyfriend. You had sent more than a dozen, quite a lot but still not an amount that would be deemed crazy given that he had hurt you. Nothing from him, but you had called twice and all he had texted was I’m at work right now. You had asked when else to call and called twice after that, but again no answer. You remember the days when he always texted you back, when he tried to make up for things. What had happened? You had started to complain more and the more you put up with him not pulling his weight, the worse it all got. You look at the texts, then sent a final one. So this is how much I can rely on you. I am upset and you don’t even answer. I am glad you’re showing your true face now. You had been serious about each other for almost two years and you had given countless chances, way more than he deserved. You started wondering if you really resented him or yourself for allowing it.

For a while you sit there, overthinking, but then get up and pull over your coat, deciding to stock up on groceries, something you had to do anyway, well, besides laundry. There was always laundry to be done, it was never-ending. The chores actually helped with the fact that the person who called you their girlfriend was not there for you during this time when you needed it the most. But you did not want to bring up the memory, so you shake it off and walk out the door, turning the key inside the lock behind you.

The aisles of the grocery store seemed bland. You wondered if your appetite would eventually come back because when you worked a lot you munched like crazy. But right now you only ate when you could feel the hunger deep in your stomach. When you were in love it was like that too but that had been a long time. Was it even love, you wonder now, or were you just driven crazy by the anxious feelings of never being sure of it really being what you thought it was. It never quite felt like it and you had subconsciously carried that feeling around with you everywhere you went. From your coat’s pocket you grab the phone automatically, checking if there was any messages. Remembering his countless excuses the past weeks and months on why he was not checking his phone, wondering if he had someone else or if it was all just a game. Suddenly you feel the rush of a weight against you, something pushing the cart back towards you, your hands against the rail holding it tight in a reflex. “Oh, sorry there” A man in front of you that had just squeezed past the space between your cart and the shelf says, “Didn’t mean to-- you know” “Well don’t break it” you answer in a sober tone, half-sarcastically while you take a closer look at his face. He was a bit older than you but attractive. Brown eyes and the matching hair colour. Tall and in shape. The tone in his voice was pleasant. “Wasn’t my intention, I apologize” he counters, giving you a quick glance. “I’ll get you a brand new cart if you want. I mean from right there at the entrance of course.”

“Well now that’s very honourable of you, but it’s fine.” You answer quickly before even thinking things through, “You’re gonna give me your address for insurance and all?” “Oh I don’t have insurance.” he claims, half-proud, half-joking seemingly, a charming smile rushing over his lips. “You pay it all out of pocket?” you inquire, acting impressed. “Yeah. I inspire to be a man of great fortune.” he says with a genuine smile, a glimmer of hope and a little sadness in it, too. “Must be quite some fortune you’re after” you chuckle. He seemed pleasant. He reminded you of the encounters you had, but they all ended up as disappointments. “What can I say?” he asks, still facing you. “Anyway, I don’t want to keep you.” you say in your default mode, trying to shake off the feelings. “Hey, you’re not keeping me. I’m the one who ruined your day running into your cart.” he insists. Your eyes light up a little when you hear it and you look at him for a moment. “You didn’t ruin my day at all. Not so far.” “Oh there’s still a chance to do so?” he asks. “If you try hard enough. I’d prefer you don’t.” He tilts his head and places his shopping basket on the floor before fumbling out his phone from his pocket. “Here, I’ll give you some insurance policy.” He hands you over the phone and you see the screen for adding a new contact. “What do you mean?” you ask but accept the phone from him. You knew he wanted your number but somehow it was still hard to believe. On the other hand, guys were like that in the beginning. “Just leave your number and I’ll make sure I got your back in case your cart breaks.” A sad smile comes upon your lips. “It’s alright.” you say, almost having to hold back the tears as you remember how these things usually go. “I’m not looking for anything. I mean, I’m not up for casual stuff. And, you know. Other things.” “Wait-- I’m just saying I want to make sure you’re okay. I’m not trying anything.” “Why would you?” you ask but see the puzzled look on his face, then repeat yourself. “Why would you make sure I’m okay?” He smiles a little before speaking up. “Because I want to.” Something in the firm yet gentle tone in his voice make you feel seen and heard, even though you spoke so little. “Well if you really don’t want to, you don’t need--” ”Okay.” You cut him off and type in your number and name, then save it as new contact. “Here.” “Thank you” he says, checks your name and calls you by it right after. “I’ll check up on you later. Get home safe, and be careful with that cart.” You smile out of politeness and raise your hand for a short goodbye, then let him go and remain in the aisle for fruit juices, alone as before. You remember how you waited for that boyfriend of yours to check up on you and he never did. You could hardly believe anyone would. Now that you stand there in the aisle you remember you had not even asked the stranger's name. You walk towards the end of the aisle, peek over to see if he was still around but cannot find him. You decide to try to forget it. Nothing came of it anyway, that was just how things usually went. At least your had your peace now, or so you tried to tell yourself.

Once your groceries were unloaded and stored in the fridge and kitchen shelves, your hand found its way to your phone on its own again. It had been more than a day, the messages you sent were delivered, he must have answered by now. Your lock screen lights up as you push the button on the side and there is a text notification. But not from him.

Hi, this is Sam. You know, the guy who ran into your cart today at the store. I was hoping I can call later to check up on you. So his name was Sam. You smile a little and unlock the phone, navigate to type in a message. You want to invite him to call, but then you hesitate. Maybe he was just being polite. Like they all were until it turned to shit and they either started playing games or stopped replying. As you check the other messages, you realize nobody else had texted you. You scroll past the texts and most of them were just notifications. Two other texts were from friends but they were from months ago. Maybe you really had to let go. Sure, call me later. Just not too late. you text and put your phone into your hoodie’s pocket. Before you can even walk over to your living room you feel your phone vibrating again. I’ll call you in half an hour. Okay you text back.

A weird kind of tension and excitement was building up in you. It had just been a day and there was so many things on your mind and now this. Sooner than expected your phone rings with the unknown number that you had not saved yet. You turn down the volume of the TV and answer. “Hey” “Oh hey, glad to hear you’re alright” “Yeah, so far so good.” “So you got that cart back safely?” he asks. “Barely. But I hope nobody notices I left a severely damaged cart with the others. Damaged by someone other than me.” “I owe you one I guess.” Sam says. “You do?” “Yeah. What do you want?” You chuckle a little. “You were planning that all along, weren’t you?” “Oh I’m definitely known as the mastermind.” he says playfully. “No, it’s just how it happened. I was rushing to get some pickles for my sister-in-law because she has weird cravings. And my brother sent me cause he was busy calming her.” “Calming her? Because of what?” “Well, pregnancy and all. I don’t know exactly.” “Oh, so you’re going to be an uncle.” you conclude. “Yeah. I don’t know, I just hope she’s okay. Anyway I wanted to get it as soon as I could.” “Okay that explains things. I hope she’s okay too and not suffering from pain or morning sickness.” “Oh no, don’t worry. We’re taking good care of her, especially my brother. She doesn’t have to lift one finger.” “Good. As it should be.” You smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to talk all about myself. I was wondering if you’re really okay. You weren’t really there either when we talked in the store.” “What do you mean?” you ask, although a little shocked of how a stranger could read you so well and care this much. Or pretend to care. ”You just were sort of spaced out. I thought I could squeeze past and not bother you. Turns out I couldn’t.” You keep quiet, wondering if you appreciated it or not. “You’re alright? Got a lot of things on your mind?” “You could say that.” you say, then shrug. “It’s okay. Just a lot at once. You could have told me to move to let you through though.” “I should have maybe.” he admits. “But then you would have moved and kept looking at your phone and I wouldn’t have gotten your number.” Your gaze falls into the empty room, your mind becomes blank as you process his words. “Anyway, I don’t want to keep you too long.” “Why do you always say that?” he breaks in. “I called you. I’d like to talk to you if you allow it.” You chuckle a little. “I just thought… I don’t know. I thought maybe you’re busy.” “I can take care of my sister-in-law when my brother takes his nap. So plenty of time, don’t worry. He’s just had his coffee.” You chuckle again. ”So, Sam, huh?” “Yeah, that’s me. And you?” He calls out your name in a questioning manner. “Yeah. And that’s me. I guess I’m glad you called.” “I’m glad you gave me your number. And answered, too.”

#Sam Drake x Reader #Sam Drake x Female Reader #uncharted fanfiction #a little slower than usual #or trying to be #emotional #heartbreak #a few more chapters are coming for sure #canon compliant #Sam Drake fanfiction #Sam Drake fanfic

[burning-omen]

Diego Hargreeves x GN!reader headcanons

Diego Hargreeves x Gn!reader

Pronouns used: none

Requested by anonymous: Hello lovely, would I be allowed to request GN reader dating Diego Hargreeves headcanons? (I love your writing so much and please take your time with this!!)

Warning⚠️: knives, accidentally cutting himself, almost getting your shit rocked by Viktor, not beta read because my beta readers are fucking sleeping (the nerve).

Reblogs>likes

(a/n: I've been Violently Sick for the passed few days and I'm in so much pain and the only thing I can do is lay in bed so I was like “might as well do some request”)

He's a bisexual and I stand by that.

He's never really been the dating type so he's a little lost when you first start your relationship

He took you axe throwing as a date once, just to see if you'd like it. Now you go at least twice a month (it’s y'all thing)

Watching him play with knives and him trying to do an advanced trick to impress you but ends up hurting himself.

Like almost cutting his fingers off.

But it's just a scratch, he's okay.

Make him move in with you, anything is better than a hot ass, sweaty, gym boiler room.

Never had any kind of casually intimate relationship. Like he's never had someone who just loved him for no other reason than just “because I do”

He's scared of you leaving him, he doesn't show it often, but honestly every relationship he's had ended in some kind of tragedy.

More specifically Patch.

You didn't know about Patch until later in your relationship. He was destroyed by her death. Which only really hit him after he helped save the world (and universe, and multiverse etc..).

Okay moving on from the sad.

He's not a morning person and it’s your fault.

Years of training, a lifetime of waking up at the crack of dawn… Ruined.

Because of you and your “just a few more hours baby, I’m tired”

Sleeps in with you one time and he’s a different man.

He can sleep until noon.

He will force you to stay in bed with him, arm and legs fully locked around your body with the intention of keeping you in bed.

If you’re Strong, then you're just gonna have to carry the bastard on your back as you get ready because he’s not letting go.

If you’re not, rip.

He’s always cold, like all the damn time. Non-stop freezing.

He gonna put his little cold hands on you

And his cold everything else.

And you’re going to suffer.

He does it out of love though.

Get him a nice knife, even if it’s purely decorative and just made to sit and look pretty on a shelf, get him one.

He loves it, even if he can’t use it.

We know he likes to dance, but he doesn’t like dancing in front of people.

So you’re gonna have to do a fucked up dance in front of him first because one thing he’s not fucking doing is opening that floodgate on his own.

Once he’s comfortable and has established that he can do his dorky little dances in front of you he’s ready for marriage.

Like he’s walking down the aisle the moment he sees the acceptance in your eyes.

Honestly and truly your biggest simp.

He thinks you’re so hot.

Whether you're the type of person that just dresses nicely every day and just looks amazing all the damn time.

Or you only get dressed up for special occasions and are in you pajamas any other time he doesn’t give a FUCK.

Dates are weird.

Depending on which season this takes place in he’s either 1) a vigilante, 2) a mental hospital escapee, 3) being hunted by the Sparrows, or 4) whatever fuckery Reggie has set up to keep his children from living normally in the Hargreeves capitalist utopia.

So…ya know. Regular dates might be a little difficult. But stay at home date are always an option.

Cooking together, watching movies, cuddling. The whole 9 yards for him.

He Refuses to introduce you to his family. Not because he doesn’t want you meeting them, it’s just he has a feeling that somebody (Klaus) will have some very embarrassing things to say about him.

That’s okay tho, Klaus let himself into your house once after finding out Diego lives there and embarrassed him anyways.

The rest of the family was honestly super easy after that.

Except for Viktor.

Turns out, he’s very protective of his family and will Beat Your Ass for his brother.

Luckily, he approves.

Idk what else to say so uuuuhhhh….

He loves you and you have changed his life for the better. He can’t imagine a life without you and he doesn’t want to. He just loves you so much.

#x gn reader #gn!reader #gender neutral reader #diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves x you #diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves headcanons #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy x reader #fanfiction

[sualne]

been looking for jobs for three years and in the past two months ish I’ve gotten for the first time my first job interview and for a different job my first job essay.

(I did have an actual job as a comic colorist for like six months but nobody around me considered it a Real Job so I feel like I just never have a job even though I very much did.)

and each time, during the interview where I know realise I was kind of being explained the whole time why I wouldn’t get the job and at the end of the essay(which might not be the right word, like a day we’re your try out the job to see if you can do it) one of the reasons given why I wouldn’t be taken it was ‘we need people who can smile’.

(there were actual argument like being ‘too introverted’ and ‘not dynamic enough’. That last one is funny because i had another ‘almost pass out for no reasons’ moment right for break time (genuinely perfect timing) during the essay and while I was cold sweating and going blind on the bathroom floor I realised, if anyone ever know I have health issues I will never get a job. So being told I wasn’t dynamic enough a fourty something minutes later was straight up comedic).

Back to the smiling, my entire life since I was a literal baby I’ve been told I wasn’t expressing the Right Way. ‘If you feel a specific way you Have to emote this specific way, act this specific way and not do anything else otherwise you’re not actually feeling what you say you’re feeling, it means you’re actually lying, faking it or don’t know what you’re actually feeling because your not showing it the Right Way’ and obviously I’ve dismissed this my entire life because I was sure it was obvious and everyone knew that everyone exist differently and people don’t act the same. I kind of assume everyone that ever bothered me about it was some flavor of 1 having a day and decided to being weird about it to me or anyone else that was also not existing the correct way. 2 just kind of an asshole and therefor they’re opinion didn’t matter. 3 just kind of strange about thing and so be it, ´not my problem tho’ I thought.

But seeing how it’s an actual argument people have use twice now to refuse me a job I’m kind of being thinking, it might actually, for real, be a thing people actually are worried about, actually. Which is wild, but also make sense because people have very much for my whole life, to me and to a ton of strangers, made comments on folks not existing the proper way. Like how in horror someone being slightly off, slightly wrong, a little bit not how it usual should be is the trope of all time. And I love this trope, someone who’s voice is in differed from how they mouth work, someone who seems to not walk directly on the floor but just slightly above it. It’s fun and interesting.

Anyway, real life stuff, being told I’m not smiling enough is wild, like yeah I don’t smile much at all that’s a fact, and both job were about interacting with people and every time you go to a restaurant you’ll ear someone saying out of nowhere mean thing about people who work there. Insane things like ‘I don’t like the way they’re standing’ and over analysing someone expression and body languages when they’re literally just doing their job.

This post is kind of a mess but I had a point which was, I don’t understand people and why are so many mean for no reasons but I wanted it to sound less like a kid complaining and be more verbose about it.

And (this isn’t over yet) I did force myself to smile, like I very much did, I tried my best to be as pleasant and polite as possible. And being told again, this isn’t enough, just suck. Like I have to mask and hide and deal with so much I kind of expected that of all thing I was allowed to keep my face. Like people have bothered me about it my entire life and I’ve dismissed it my entire life because it just did not make sense and I couldn’t make it make sense(still can’t). But I’m genuinely at lost at what to do about it, if apparently I also have to change my face to get a job, that I need to exist the correct way in order to have the damn job in order to exist at all is all so, Not Good.

#long post #Im not proof reading this becaus I’ll miss typos either way but yeah been having a bit of a I guess more A Confusion rather than a crisis #but like. yeah. confusion yknow. sending resume all the time. rarely every getting a response and when you do it’s a automotic ‘you’re not #profile we want’ or ‘the employer has move on in the process’ of whatever. so the two time I actually got as for as actually going to #places to talk to people feels both like a huge progress and ?? adjective for what in the world can I do about all this #and like I said i did have a job and k was so happy because it was working on comic and I was ‘oh I’m doing my dream job I’m doing it’ but I #haven’t been able to find anything since. and no one think of it as an actual job and people keep treating my like an helpless child. like #I’ve been told I’m not allowed to stay home alone for a few days even though I’m 23 so I just. wtf at this point yknow. #edit: hehhhh fuck it let’s make this reblogable. his do talk deal with The Everrginf actually. I’d like to ear about it. nothing I can do #how do y’all deal with The Everything*** #but keep sending resumes and wait.

[aajjks]

in case you guys need some context: https://www.tumblr.com/aajjks/734286381102333952/why-is-ayra-trying-to-tcdadjk-look-at-the

TC!dad!JK

“you probably forgot, but remember that girl nami? i know he still talks to her but i’m not sure what he’ll ask us about” you say with a hint of unease as you squeeze jungkook’s hand. your little boy, now a grown man, could be in love and you aren’t ready to let your firstborn go. you’ll never forget the pain and happiness you felt when you went into labor. what was an accident became the greatest thing in your life and now here you are, a mother of seven children when you were determined to only birth a boy and a girl, if only you knew.

see, raising your eldest son luckily wasn’t hard as you made sure to instill the same morals your mother instilled in you when your were a child:

be respectful.

use kind words.

never talk to strangers.

and be prepared to face stormy weather.

somehow, you’re finding it hard to face the storm because neither one of you have no idea what your son is going to ask you and after giving jaehan to one of the maids, he knocks before entering his parents chamber where they patiently wait for what their son has to say.

“mom, dad” he begins nodding his head at the both of you which you and jungkook smile and allow jinseoul to continue.

the 18 year old takes a deep breath and without anymore second guessing or doubt, he says what’s been on his mind for the past month now…

“i..i want to ask nami for her hand in marriage” he says shyly and your eyes immediately widen. you remember the maids bringing you information about this ‘choi nami’ that stole your son’s heart after a few exchanges of art pieces. she was born in japan to a japanese father and korean mother and was of noble blood due to her mother being a duchess. to keep the information hidden, her mother hired someone to kill her father and thus nami was raised in goryeo and only speaks hangul never learning about her true heritage.

you’ve met nami in person once or twice but it was only to pick your children up and from appearance, she seemed formal and very sweet. jungkook, however, isn’t too familiar with nami but is aware of the choi lineage and remembers his father not being fond of the duchess.

“son…uh…marriage? are you sure?” you say in shock yet your son seems certain.

“i-i know she’s not a princess but you weren’t a princess when you and father wedded. i love her, mom. we love each other and i think i’m ready to marry her”

“jinseoul, we’ve never met the girl”

“you have, mother!”

“well, your father hasn’t. son, you’re only 18. marriage is a big stepping stone”

“you and father got married at 22 years old. why is being 18 any different?”

“because there wasn’t a ‘teen’ at the end of our age. son, please understand. i know you love her but give it some time”

“i’m not a little boy, mom. what i have for nami isn’t puppy love. i actually love her and she loves me too. i’ve known her since i was twelve, that’s seven years”

“why are you so eager to marry her, son? don’t you want to wait before putting your eggs in one basket?”

jinseoul bites his lip. well, he made it this far…

“b-because…nami…nami is p-pregnant”

~🫧

Jungkook laughs, out loud, hard enough to actually snort. He doesn’t believe what he just heard.

Jinseoul… he cannot do this. Suddenly his brain has shut off, and he feels his legs and arms shaking from anger as his son’s words settle in his brain. Jinseoul… Jeon Jinseoul… his heir to the throne… his baby who just turned 18… has got a girl pregnant.

“ WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT YN?!?” Jungkook turns his head towards you, he tilts his head so fast that his neck almost breaks, but he feels so angry right now. “YN H-HE GOT A GIRL PREGNANT!” Jungkook stands up abruptly, he is literally screaming off his lungs, he is not sure about what to think right now because this is a huge deal.

“OH MY GOD HE GOT A GIRL PREGNANT! YN ARE YOU HEARING YOUR SON RIGHT NOW?” This is beyond disappointing. This was not he had planned for his oldest son.

And Jungkook is literally turning into his father right now. He doesn’t want to become a grandfather at the age of 42.

“Y-Yn oh my God I’m going to kill him! STOP ME BEFORE I FUCKING KILL HIM!” Jungkook and you are quite young right now, and he is still capable of having children with you.

He was supposed to have another child with you, HE DID NOT WANT TO BECOME A GRANDFATHER. “Y-Yn you and I are about to become grandparents! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Jungkook picks up a vase and throws it to the nearest wall

How could jinseoul be so careless? “I-I don’t know what to do- AT 18 I WAS LITERALLY FIGHTING ON THE BATTLEFIELD!” That is true, because at 17 years old, he was crowned king.

Jinseoul… his perfect son…. He’s so disappointed right now.

“Y-Yn GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!”

#ask: tc!jungkook #YOOO WTF JINSEOUL

[seokjinsonlyone]

Ranking who I KNOW I can seduce in BTS least to most likely Context: I'm THICK big butt, big boobs yummy thighs straight smile and round face. That's what we're working with lets get into it! Least- Jimin! While I think Jimin would be very attracted to me I think I'd spend too much time psychoanalyzing him, definitely a turnoff! Jimin and I would more quicker become long term confidantes than ever romp around in the sheets. Cute face though, maybe an accidental makeout once or twice? J-Hope- Jhope is not a one night stand type of deal to me idk. I think I'd be too in awe to even try to seduce him and if he paid attention to me I'd probably be too focused on something more long term that I'd forget all about the seduction mission. Also I think he'd find me a little exhausting lmao SeokJin- Love of my life jin please I need him so bad and that would be my downfall. He would know by one look in my eye how BAD I want the dick and I think that would be a big turn off for him. I think he'd enjoy toying with me for months on end but would never give me what I want.

Yoongi- Yoongi and I have def made out a couple of times but the friendship is so good that fucking seems off the table. I think we'd have too many deep convos about our lives and what we want in life that sex would seem like something almost too intimate to share after all that mental intimacy if that makes sense?

JungKook- I think I could pull JK! He's sexy and all but I am too lmao! I also think seducing JK is much more about the chill approach. coming over and playing video games, buying him a stuffed animal that reminded you of him. texting him only on occasion. Just giving him space to trust me and like me and he'll be knocking on my door begging within mm a month?

Namjoon- All I gotta do is be 1/10th of a natutally charming person to namjoon, not be an ignoramus, and continue to have big boobs and an ass and namjoon is in the bag. Maybe we'd spend a few days getting to know each other but he doesn't seem like he'd waste much time once he trusts that you're not a fuckin weirdo Taehyung- Not to double down on the taehyung easy train but you're absolutely right compliments and some expressive faces and he's done for. And as someone who has seduced someone without speaking their native tongue it's really not gone take much. Taehyung likes loving and being loved and I'm readTEE to give it to him.

SEE NOW those are different parameters than i allowed myself to operate within like i was thinking more like i meet you at a bar and decide i want you who am i taking home tonight but what you're getting at is WAAAYYY different bc give me some time and i 100% can have my pick of the litter bc my personality is a 12/10

but before i dive back into that lemme first say that you may be onto something with seokjin bc like i said before we got the same personality type and i literally did that to like 2 guys this past year ajsksjjwje but in my defense!!!! im on the spectrum so it wasn’t on purpose i just didn’t realize they liked me until i had already hurt they feelings LOL

ALSO that makes perfect sense for yoongi being so mentally and emotionally intertwined that you end up in that friend purgatory bc you’re afraid to change the nature of your relationship it’s textbook really

NOW who could i seduce HOLISTICALLY from least to most likely since that's the trend i started with that one actually i'm gonna do who would be the easiest to seduce from ltm and i'm forcing myself to do a spark notes version to save you from another one of my dissertations that nobody asked for

i’m keeping jin at 7 bc like i said unseduceable (we’d end up a nice lil nuclear family with 2 kids and a dog)

i’m dropping yoongi down to 6 bc that’s my twin flame and i feel like if i gave him too much time to think he’d talk himself out of it

i’m keeping hobi at 5 bc we’re endgame like we’d def have a good mix of 2seok and sope energy im his lil rain cloud and he’d be my sunshine we’d make rainbows together <3 but i’d have to give him the space to come to this conclusion on his own

dropping jimin to 4 bc he’s another one who would try to talk himself out of it but he’d be super curious about the possibilities(we’re playing the long game)

joonie would drop down to number 3 but only bc

jk would be number 2 like give me a month and i’d have that boy eating out the palm of my hands like we fr fr have too much in common and don’t have similar sense of humour i got that whole tsundere thing going on im so certain he wouldn’t be able to resist me like he’d talk himself INTO it bc he thinks we’re written in the stars or something (we’re not) but i’d let him think we were (¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he’s hot)

then tae stands at number 1 for previously mentioned reasons

#ask #such a fun topic for us habitual delulus

[claymorexpunisher]

Liberación- Ch.1/? (WWE Fic) (18+) (Repost)

Summary: Harper and Drew started Liberacion as a way to heal. And it slowly became bigger than they could've have ever imagined...

Main Pairings: Drew McIntyre/OFC, Damian Priest/OFC, Roman Reigns/OFC, Finn Bálor/OFC, Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley

Side Characters: Mercedes Mone, Liv Morgan, Seth Rollins, Becky Lynch, and more.

Tags: 18+, praise kink, daddy kink, size kink, kink negotiation, consensual kink, consensual non-consent, BDSM, knife play, light blood play, bratting, hair-pulling, breeding kink, and more.

Word Count: 3,733

‘’Tammie, can you zip me up please?’’ I asked my friend and co-worker as I assessed my bouncy curls through the full-length mirror in my dressing room.

‘’Sure thing, H.'’ she replied, getting to work on my cobalt blue and black corset.

My name is Blaze... Harper under ‘’normal’’ circumstances.

But not tonight.

Tonight, was a huge night for all of us!

The grand opening of my new BDSM and Kink club!

Liberación.

Liberación came to fruition a couple years ago after a particularly messy and volatile marriage that ended… well, for now let’s just say it ended badly.

I had been married to my ex-husband Jason for about 4 years.

We met at a dingy club when I was 17 and he was about twice my age.

Can you say, ‘’creep’’?!

What I didn’t know at the time, was that he was a reality demon.

He distorted my thoughts to such a degree that I eventually began turning on my friends and family in order to please him.

But he didn’t really show his true colors until about 8 months later, when we got married.

Like two dumb, immature morons, we drove off to Vegas as soon as I turned 18 and tied the knot.

To say my friends and family flipped their shit is a gross understatement but I didn’t blame them.

They never liked him, and I swore it was just simply because they didn’t know him.

Jason and I were in love… until we weren’t.

Not even a month after we got married, it was like he felt as if he didn’t need to try anymore.

He went from this really attentive, romantic, playful- almost disgustingly sappy guy, to someone I just didn’t recognize anymore.

I guess he felt that once he had me ‘’on lock’’, he didn’t have to put in any effort anymore.

Now, I’m not a fancy schmancy kinda girl.

I never really was.

I much always preferred a quiet, peaceful evening at home, just the two of us and some takeout and The Food Network on.

Or a scary movie, or some other trash tv.

A simple gal if you will.

But I’m not gonna lie and say I didn’t enjoy the grand gestures he used to reel me in when we first started seeing each other.

He made me feel so special.

So loved unconditionally.

And safe.

Three key things I rarely, if ever felt from a man in my entire 20 some years of life.

But all of a sudden it just… stopped.

Poof.

Over.

And it was almost like I never even existed to him unless he had a stressful day at work, and he wanted someone to bicker with without the threat of being told off, or he wanted me to do something for him.

Most of the people around me saw the relationship for what it was way before I had the balls to snap out of it.

Jason was never my partner, my equal, or someone who respected me in any sense of the word.

My age, my unresolved emotional trauma, and my naivety along with the supernatural powers he had that allowed him to shift my reality just made me an easy target to him.

We jumped into a pseudo-Dom/Sub dynamic in our relationship.

Some might say a little too quickly.

He drilled it into my head that I ‘’wasn’t a good Sub if I didn’t do as I was told.’’

And like so many young and impressionable young people who meet the wrong person who says the right things, I believed him.

It’s hard to not feel stupid, even now.

But in the back of my mind, I know it wasn’t my fault.

I had watched my own mother try to power through a loveless marriage for most of my formative years and I swore up and down that that would never be my life.

All my friends who knew about us.

And they warned me about him.

They warned me that it would turn out horribly, but I just didn’t care to listen.

And so, I ignored even the smallest signs that would come up in our relationship.

Even thinking about it now, I don’t know if I ignored those signs because I didn’t care, or because I was so hellbent on proving to myself and everyone around me that I was making the right choices in my life.

I didn’t snap out of it until one day, when I quite literally had to fight for my life in order to get out of the deep shit that I found myself in.

But by then I felt that I had burnt way too many bridges with those who did nothing but love and support me.

So, I thought about running.

Running off to God knows where and starting a brand-new life away from here.

Away from all the horrible memories.

Until I got a visit from my mom and one of my best friends, Tatianna.

They reminded me that I was in fact loved.

And that if I had burnt any bridges, it sure as hell wasn’t with them.

They welcomed me back with open arms and gave me time to heal.

They knew what Jason had done, but when it comes to reality demons, nobody can break you out of their power, except for you.

So, they did the hardest thing any loving person could do, and they waited.

They waited for me to get myself out of the situation I was in and to ask for the help I needed.

And slowly I began to heal.

Being entrapped by a reality demon is a lot like being trapped in your own body.

Fuck… it’s an absolute living nightmare.

Your subconscious knows there’s something wrong, but you can’t quite pinpoint what it is.

And you’re constantly fighting against what you know is real and what you're being told is real.

And if the demon knows you’re already vulnerable, it just makes it all the easier for them to suck the essence out of you until there’s not much left.

What’s sick is that even though I knew something was wrong, I still spent all that time in my subconscious, hoping that he would go back to that charming, funny, and thoughtful man that I had first met.

I spent so much time trying to carve him into the man of my dreams that I didn’t realize I was wasting away in the process.

I was chipping away at pieces of myself until there was nothing left.

In the smallest part of me that was still me, I knew that the things he was doing to me weren’t okay.

He wasn't ''challenging me as my Dom''.

He wasn't ''helping me be the best I could be'', as he always put it.

But eventually with a little more use of his power, I would brush it all off and decide that what was being done to me was a good thing.

If I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be, then it was perfectly fine that he tried to mold me himself.

But thankfully, once I snapped out of it, I never looked back.

I know who I am now.

And that's all thanks to my wonderful mother, amazing friends and family... and okay, maybe I did have to turn my feelings off for a couple months (vampires are great for that!) and that almost turned into another disaster, but that's neither here nor there.

Through all that healing, the seed of Liberacion was planted...

(Next Chapter.)

#wwe fic #wwe smut #wwe fluff #wrestling fic #wwe fan fiction #roman reigns #baron corbin #drew mcintyre #sasha banks #liv morgan #seth rollins #becky lynch #roman reigns fan fiction #baron corbin fan fiction #drew mcintyre fan fiction

[luveline]

dear jade — first of all, congrats on 40k omg!!! i read your fics more than i read required books for my english class so you deserve it <333

anyway, i may sound silly here so please feel free to be brutally honest here because i need to here it. but, i’ve been recently talking more with my ex situationship, and my feelings have been coming back (because i’m hopeless over this sort of stuff) and i’ve been thinking of talking to her about it but i have a huge fear of rejection and i don’t want things to be awkward between us since we do see each other like everyday ‘cos we’re in the same psych class.

basically, in 2021 (i think???) we sort of flirted and we both liked eachother but things never went anywhere and she ended up getting a gf. we weren’t super super close after that but we were friendly and all, we just didn’t talk much and i obviously didn’t want to interfere with her relationship! but she texted me like almost right after they broke up a few months ago and ever since then, we’ve been talking like everyday and hanging out. we are in the same friendgroup though so i cant tell if she’s just being nice and friendly or if it has some sort of meaning. she answers my texts super fast and we talk really late into the night and i feel hopeful but i also don’t want to make things awkward for anyone! there’s also the fact that i’ve heard rumors that another guy (mutual friend) in our group likes her and even though i know that’s not true i don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make things awkward if she doesn’t like me & i tell her. i’ve really felt like i want to but i can’t ask my friends about it since they’re also friends with this other guy and i don’t want to be inconsiderate and drag them into things :/

sorry for the rant!!! i just don’t know what the right thing is to do since i don’t wanna hurt anybody but i also hate not telling her how i feel because i’m horrible at keeping things like this to myself

Thank you!! Don't be sorry!

Okay so my first thought is that while it is very nice of you to want to protect the feelings of your friends who may like her, or to protect everyones feelings, you have a right to be happy and you're definitely allowed to like her even if someone else may or may not like her. I also don't think it's inconsiderate to tell your friends about it and to drag them in cos that's what friends are for, but you're very nice for thinking of them and I understand your hesitation!

My second thought is that in the interest of protecting your feelings you should probably be a bit careful? This is purely opinion now, and I'm an outsider looking in so you know best my love, but the circumstances of your situationship make me question her intentions, if that makes sense. If you were flirting and you both liked each other but then she ended up in another relationship, and then as soon as that relationship ended she was talking to you again, I think I'm just a little hesitant in what her thought process is. Like obviously you're great and I'm not saying she doesn't have good reason to fancy you twice, but I just wonder why she would've manoeuvred this situation in this way.

BUT again im an outsider I don't know all the nuance and plus I'm acting like she has to be perfect, maybe she was just confused and now she's realised she wasn't in the place she was meant to be in.

Crazily enough i can actually say I was in a situation just like this at one point and found out afterwards that they DID like me (for a short period of time), but I didn't want to make things awkward so I never said anything. I'm extremely glad that things turned out how they did now honestly but my point is that people love you and you just won't know until you ask. I've said a bunch of really 'deep' stuff and half of it is probably baloney to you but in light of things, like, woah! It sounds to me like she likes you from the way she's acting and you wont know until you ask, but something very beautiful could come of it! It can be awkward knowing someone has a crush on you if you don't return their feelings but if she's someone worth having a crush on she probably won't punish you for it, i genuinely think things would turn out okay if you told her.

I hope this helps and I'm sorry if it doesn't! To me it sounds like she likes you again and I dont think much harm would come from you telling her, but it is obviously a very big change in your life to be open like that. I hope that you're happy whatever you choose to do!!

#jade's asks #ily

[lifewithoutmeds]

December 5, 2022

can’t tell if it’s a good or bad sign that i’m writing more. although i suppose, if i have the time and availability and even if i’m feeling bad, better than i’m writing than not chronicling.

lorena is out (common theme now, i see.) she’s out with her official GIRLFRIEND now and they’re out picking a christmas tree, going out to a fancy sushi dinner, and spending the night. date things. girlfriend things. it’s like college again. i want to be best friends with someone who wants to go out and date other people and i feel left out and secretly possibly pining for her. oof, AGAIN.

this time though i’m 20 years older, and in my own place, and somehow casually allowing a women i’d been crazy about for some 7-8 months to now just float in and out of the condo, and spend insane amounts of time getting ready for her 36-hour-marathon dates and ask my advise on what to wear and how to put up her hair and me just dying a little bit each time.

i’m not sure how much of me pines for her as her, or just as the “other” who i pine after, the x factor, the unreachable one.

it’s nice having someone else around. she brought breakfast sandwiches today and made a sort of fruit/cheese plate for an afternoon snack prior to going out and gifting her girlfriend with artisanal wine and flowers, and i don’t know why i feel just a hint of envy/jealousy. oh i know why. it’s because i’m pouring myself out on her the way i would do someone i love, while i get to just watch as she does the same to someone who is not me. i need to stop both, the watching, and the doing, and just live my life and kinda just treat her as casually dismissively as she treats me.

to be fair, she’s not rude, she’s not mean, she’s just not in love with me. she’s become a great friend, and we had our salad, and jammed out to Guitar Hero, and had a good time, but yhea, she’s like a passing roommate, and not the greatest love i’ve ever not known. and i should treat such as such.

i feel like i have a lot more free time these days. my days end earlier. i don’t commute as much. i don’t have as much socializing or time-wasting whether it be at happy hours or on the freeway. i have more free time but i’m uncomfortable with it; i don’t quite know what to do with myself. i’m journaling more, and writing cards, and manically checking off my to-do list, and the floors are cleaner than they’ve ever been and i’ve finished the ever-elusive-seeming task of catching up on my dishwashing.

i take walks at lunch and i’m not drinking as heavily or as often; i’m trying desperately to stay connected to friends, but i’m extremely lonely at my very core. and i don’t know if i just miss jadai because every once in a while i get a glimpse or a reminder that she left me. that she met somebody else. that she’s calling somebody else her “love.” that the things we so intimately shared, that she said i’d be the only one for, she’s now so freely doing with someone else. the jadai that i knew, that was in love with me, that was so quick to say “forever,” and “always,” is no more. she is a different jadai now, with someone else, saying other things to other people. i must let her go. the girl i fell in love with is effectively gone.

i’m trying to think, kind of like how i told lana once when she complained about being unemployed, that she wouldn’t always be unemployed, that at some point, a tiredly employed version of her would almost longingly wish for or wonder what it was like to be unemployed, and that’s what i’m hoping to tell myself now. it might actually get better. lightning might strike twice. something better could possibly be in my future. someone could love me just as passionately, if not more so, but possibly with more maturity, with more understanding of my situation, of my culture, of what i’m up against.

and i think, if this is my only time of singleness, whether it be another month or another year, and i looked back at this time, what would i have wanted to gain from it, what would i have wanted? would i want to have spent it pining and begging for scraps and following lorena around like some puppy dog, wanting just an ounce of reciprocated affection? or would i want to do it, really working on myself. learning new skills. strengthening relationships, losing weight, getting healthier, honing a craft. i think, vaguely, back when i was with jadai, that i wished i had more time to myself, more time to work on myself, to read, to write, to fish, to reflect, to clean. and now i can do all those things. i can deep clean things, i can get to the piles i haven’t; i have the time for proper skincare and flossing my teeth when i brush. i could utilize this time somehow to be better, and not just have it wasted away, crying, pining.

i want this to be one of the better years of my life. i don’t want there to just have been life defined by jadai. i want to be forged by fire but so much stronger as a result.

[ashyytoclassyy]

A few months ago, I met this guy at a bar that quite literally swept me off my feet. I was on vacation and I thought it would be this cute little fling that would only last the 5 days I was there but fast forward to 2 months later, we’ve seen each other TWICE since then and we have already scheduled another visit in a few more weeks. When I’m saying I am so so so happy right now, I no dey lie. BUT, there’s this part of me that feels almost guilty for moving on and allowing myself to have this new found love interest because I know it’s hurting my ex. We still follow each other on social media and on this most recent trip, I noticed he stopped watching my stories. It’s been 8 month since we’ve broken up, HE is the one who wanted to end the relationship but it’s still makes me think he’s feeling like “damn, you already moved on?” I know most people would read this and be like, “who cares? He’s the one who ended things.” I completely understand that but I just hate that while I am happy to share my new interest on social media, it also means I am hurting someone else who met so much to me in the process. That was my first relationship ever and it was his longest relationship ever so it most definitely made a significant impact on both of us. But like I said, I still want and desire love and to eventually be in a committed relationship and this new person is so eager to give me that. I have been on a few dates since my ex and I broke up and my ex set the bar so fucking high that literally no one caught my attention except for this new person I met while on vacation. I am so thankful to my ex for elevating the standard for what I should expect in a man, there is absolutely no going backwards. But like I said, I am deserving of love. I am deserving of happiness and for the first time, this feels so genuine and not just a “rebound.” When I think about my future, it gets me excited again because it feels like love and a new relationship are possible again and I am so ready to have that. ❤️

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

#anonymous #when.... when.... WHEN IS IT MY TURN #aot x reader #jean x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot imagines #no because he's the love of my whole life #jean fluff #jean smut #eren x reader

[jcwriting]

Written in the Stars

summary ↬ being soulmates with a werewolf? pretty easy. being jungkook’s soulmate? the easiest thing in the world. there’s only one teensy tiny problem. he doesn’t want to fuck you.

pairing ↬ werewolf!jungkook x reader

genre ↬ soulmate!au, abo verse, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort (this is so fucking dramatic and for what)

word count ↬ 10.4k my hand slipped

warnings ↬ swearing, angst (but with a happy ending bc im a sappy bitch), jk is stupid in love (emphasis on stupid), mentions of violence (very brief and i don’t go into too much detail but just to warn yall), slight nsfw (sex is a big topic for like half of this but not sex is had...i know im shocked too), half of this is background info/setting up the story the other half is finally addressing the summary lolol, jk is kind of an asshole but he has reasons!!!!!

authors note ↬ hello lovelies! here’s a small little thing for you all (laughs in 10k word count). this has been sitting in my drafts for fucking ever and i just needed to get it out there and out of my hands. im thinking about writing a part two where the actual ~*/sex/*~ is had but im still on the fence about that. please let me know what you think! i literally crave your interactions so pls dont be shy,,,,,okay love you bye :)

(ps i was so close to naming this Rewrite the Stars but since this has absolutely nothing to do with The Greatest Showman i didn’t. but i was close,,,,so fucking close)

You always knew Jeon Jungkook was destined for great things.

It was written in the stars, your mother had told you after he had first stepped foot into your family-owned grocery store. Your mother didn’t have any special powers, she just had a thing for astrology. While you normally shrugged off her random proclamations about divine intervention and planetary alignments, you found that Jungkook was something you couldn’t ignore or chalk up as your mother’s latest tea leaf reading.

From the moment you set eyes on him you knew he was different. While your family held zero claim to any sort of mystical or magical inclinations, you were well aware of those who did. It was no secret that non-humans roamed the Earth in plain sight, even though it had taken humans eons to realize this. After years of savage wars and civil unrest, agreements had come into place and governing bodies were adjusted to accept the changes that had finally been made. But, this was all before your time. You were the generation that was born into the period of peace, the first children to not experience bloodshed before they could walk. The world you knew now was almost a complete one-eighty of what it had been.

Where before those who were not of human blood had to do everything they could to blend in, now could be free of the shadows. Your classrooms had both humans and non-humans in their rosters. Some of your teachers were hybrids. Curriculum expanded to teach humans about a world that had once been entirely unknown to them. One of your favorite teachers was a witch who regaled your tenth grade class with stories of goblin wars, wizard duels, and vampire covens. All tales that you had once thought were nothing but fiction were now anything but.

Which is why, the second Jeon Jungkook entered the grocery store that your parents owned and that you had worked at since you were old enough to speak in full sentences, you knew who he was. You didn’t even question it.

He was a werewolf. A powerful one. You could see it in the way he carried himself. The purposeful strides he took down the narrow aisles, the confidence in his broad shoulders. Humans weren’t nearly as sensitive as their hybrid counterparts but you also paid attention in your classes. Or, perhaps you were more aware than other humans. Never in your life did you have the issues other faced when meeting a non-human for the first time. You always knew who they were without them having to tell you. You just knew.

So, when Jeon Jungkook stepped up to your register with a bottle of water and some raw beef, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t bend under his dark gaze or shuffle your feet in an awkward attempt to break the silence. Instead, you flashed him your customer service smile and rang up his items. He didn’t say a word as he paid, barely sparing you a second glance as he strode out of the store.

“He’s going to be a great and powerful man,” your mother said in that feathery light voice of hers. “It was written in the stars.”

You couldn’t help but agree.

Jeon Jungkook came into your store everyday for the next month. He bought the same thing every time. A bottle of water and a package of raw beef. The only time he spared you any words was to say thank you or the occasional hello if the sun was shining. Usually, he was alone. Sometimes, he came with a few members of his pack. You liked those days. He smiled a little brighter and talked a little louder when they were around. Especially around Taehyung.

Then, after a month, he didn’t come in. Not for an entire week. From Monday to Sunday, you hadn’t seen a hide nor hair of him. A part of you was worried, so worried that you almost stopped Taehyung in the middle of the street to ask of Jungkook’s whereabouts before realizing how insane that made you look, the other part was chastising yourself for caring. Jeon Jungkook was a customer. Nothing more, nothing less.

The following Monday had come and you had finally stopped glancing at the sliding doors every five minutes. You no longer expected his commanding presence to rock your little world. Instead, you continued your day as if it had been any other. That was, until, Jeon Jungkook stepped through the entrance looking as if he was walking on air. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“Did you have a good heat?” You asked when he stepped up to your register. Jungkook fumbled the water bottle he had been setting onto the conveyer belt before turning to stare at you.

“What did you just say?”

You didn’t shrink under his intense glare. “I was asking if you enjoyed your heat. Seems like you did.”

“How do you know I was in my rut?”

“Oh, is rut the correct terminology? Sorry, they always interchanged them in class, I was never sure what was appropriate.” You shrugged and rang up his items. “It was kind of obvious, though. You seemed pretty agitated about a week-and-a-half ago, then you disappear for a week, and now you’re back looking happier than ever. If it wasn’t your rut then I want to know where you went on vacation because that’s where I’m heading to next.”

Jungkook laughed. That almost made you jump out of your skin. You had never heard him laugh before. It was throaty, it was deep, and it was wonderful. “I’ll be sure to send you the link to the Airbnb.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

He smirked. “I’m here every day, aren’t I?”

You tilted your head as you accepted the cash he handed to you. “Clearly, you’re not that reliable.”

Jungkook laughed again. It was becoming your new favorite sound. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to appear flaky.”

“You’re forgiven,” you decided as you handed him the plastic bag of his purchases. Teasingly, you added, “just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He flashed you a smile that showed off his sharpened canines. “Don’t worry, darling. I never make the same mistake twice.”

Jeon Jungkook kept his promise. He showed up everyday, like clockwork. Bought the same thing. Arrived at the same time. The only thing that changed was how he treated you. It wasn’t that he treated you badly before, he had always been polite. But now, he talked to you. He asked you questions and answered yours. More often than not, he laughed.

(It had become your favorite sound.)

For three months, this continued. The two of you had settled into a comfortable routine, something you relied on and expected. Until, he changed that.

Until, Jeon Jungkook asked you out on a date.

“What did you just say?”

“Are you free? Tonight?” You glanced around, almost expecting to see some sort of supermodel posing behind you to explain the absolute absurdity of the situation. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the hidden cameras. I think I’m getting Punk’d.”

Jungkook sighed and placed both hands on the counter that separated the two of you. “Look at me.” You did. Slowly and warily, but you did. “Does it look like I’m lying to you?”

Narrowing your eyes, you regarded him carefully. He seemed serious. But, then again, do you ever really know someone? “I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you lie before so I wouldn’t know the difference.”

“Fine. Ask me what color my shirt is.”

“What color is your shirt?”

“White,” he deadpanned. You glanced down at his chest. His shirt was black.

“Jungkook!”

He threw his head back and released a full bellied laugh. Even in your exasperation you couldn’t help but soften a little. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself.” Annoyed, you huffed and spun to face the cash register. Stabbing your finger onto the touchscreen, you ignored Jungkook’s obvious presence on the opposite side of the counter. Until his hand reached around the card reader and grasped a hold of your chin. The warmth of his fingers forced your head to turn to meet his.

“Come to dinner with me.” His voice was nothing but a rumble in his chest, his eyes so black and all-consuming you couldn’t do anything but agree with him. He seemed pleased by your response as his fingers tightened against your skin and a grateful smile flicked past his lips. His gaze darted down to your mouth and your breath froze in your chest.

“Are you going to kiss me?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”

“No.” You tried to shake your head but his grip didn’t allow you much movement. He was taken aback by your answer, a small frown tugging at his mouth. You quickly backtracked to fix the situation. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in a grocery store. That’s a new low that I refuse to reach.”

Jungkook chuckled and tapped your chin gently. “Alright, darling. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Again, he kept his promise to you. He showed up at your parents house exactly at seven, wearing a button-down shirt and slacks. The tulips he had gotten for you was thrust into your hands the moment you opened the door. Flashing him a genuine smile, you hurried into the kitchen to set them in water while your mother grilled him on his birth time. You were quick to drag him away, practically throwing him towards the car as you waved goodbye.

“Sorry,” you sighed as Jungkook opened the passenger door for you. “She has a…thing for astrology. She’s probably creating your star map or whatever right now.”

“It’s okay,” he responded once he got into the drivers seat. “It’s sweet of her to care.”

You snorted. “She’s delusional is what she is.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t believe in astrology?”

“Do you?”

Jungkook shrugged as he pulled out of your dirt driveway. He looked so damn attractive behind the wheel it was honestly unfair. “Not really saying I do or don’t. All I know is that there are a lot of things out there that are out of our control. If believing in the stars and planets helps you gain some of that control back, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“God, don’t talk like that in front of my mother. She’ll want to start dating you.”

He grinned and placed a hand on your knee. “Tell her I’m already taken.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond to that. Not that he didn’t give you one, it was just that you literally had nothing to say. With just one sentence he opened the floodgates of your brain and the amount of thoughts that were flying through your conscious was painful. Anxiety fluttered in your stomach and you pressed your lips together to keep you from word vomiting onto him. No, it was better to keep your mouth shut and let the moment pass.

By the time you reached the restaurant you were a trembling mess of nerves. Were you guys dating? You thought this was just a ‘testing the waters’ date, not a ‘you’re my girlfriend now’ date. Did you have to make it Facebook official? You hated that shit.

Jungkook didn’t comment on your obvious distress, though. He merely placed a hand on the small of your back, ignoring how you jerked in surprise, and led you into the quiet bistro. Nodding politely to the hostess who was practically panting at the sight of him (you honestly couldn’t blame her) and pulled out your chair for you. When he sat down, he started talking. Idle chat at first. Commenting on one of the dishes, asking about the college classes you were taking at your local university. Before you realized it, wine was in your glass and your shoulders were loose. Previous nerves forgotten, you lost yourself in Jungkook. You drank, you ate, you laughed, and genuinely enjoyed his company. Honestly, it was the best date you’d ever been on.

“I have to be honest with you,” Jungkook spoke after he finished his raw steak. “I have an ulterior motive for asking you here tonight.”

“Oh,” you mumbled around the shrimp you had just tossed in your mouth. “So…this isn’t a date?”

“No, it is,” Jungkook clarified quickly around a dry chuckle. He seemed…nervous. It put you on edge immediately. “This is definitely a date. And, also, more.”

“More? What, is this a proposal too?” You were joking. A 100% joking. But Jungkook was staring at you so seriously it made you panic. “Jungkook, if you get down on one knee here I swear-”

“I’m not proposing,” he assured you. “This is something more than that.”

“More?” You parroted. Jungkook sighed.

“Do you know what a true mate is?”

Right there, in that quaint little bistro, on a date with quite possibly the most untouchable man you’d ever met, he explained how you were irrevocably his. His true mate, his soulmate.

Jungkook explained everything in great detail, which you appreciated, because honestly, you had no words. He explained how when he was born, the witch who cared for him told his father that his future glared brightly ahead of him, but only when he met his other half. True mates were rare. Mating was common, the wolves in his pack could have multiple mates or a lifelong one, but true mates were destiny. Someone or something out there had forged the two of you together. You were essentially each others other half. He was made for you and you were made for him.

“But…aren’t true mates only for wolves? I thought it’s impossible for a human to be a true mate,” you asked in a shaky voice once Jungkook took a breath.

“It was supposed to be impossible. Until, I met you.” Jungkook stared at you with a sort of reverence that made your entire body blush. “I have no idea how you are. I’ve spent hours researching. I’ve consulted with members of my pack and others. No one knows why.”

“Are you sure, though? I mean…what if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not.” Jungkook shook his head. “I visited the witch right after I met you. She took one look at me and told me that I had finally found my true mate. She said she’d never seen a future so bright before.”

You had no words for that. For the first time in your life, you were speechless. Jungkook seemed to understand. He let you sit in silence as he paid for the bill and walked you out to the car. The drive back to your parents house was the same. You couldn’t speak. The shock rendered you stupid.

By the time Jungkook pulled into the driveway you still hadn’t spoken a word to each other. You stepped out of the car before he could open the door for you. Walking up to the porch steps in a trance, you didn’t hear him follow you until he clasped your wrist in his hand. Turning to face him, you were surprised to see his brown eyes so big. They practically sparkled in the moonlight and he looked so soft and sweet you nearly melted into the wood beneath your feet.

“Please,” he whispered. “Can you…just - are you okay? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried I’ve scared you off or something.”

With that voice, it was impossible to deny him. So, you said the first thing that popped in your head. “Do we have to make it Facebook official?”

Jungkook stared at you before bursting into laughter. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

You blushed and glanced down. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I can’t remember my Facebook password so even if you wanted to change it I don’t think it’ll work.”

“So that’s why you never accepted my friend request,” Jungkook teased. Before you could squeak out a response, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you forward. You kept your arms crossed across your chest but let yourself fall against him.

“Don’t make fun of me,” you whined as you buried your face into his shoulder. He smelled so good, a mixture of pine and spice. “My brain hasn’t worked since you told me I’m yours, so bear with me.”

Jungkook chuckled and gently swayed you from side to side. “Does that mean you’re okay with this? All of this?”

Sighing, you lifted your head up and stepped away from him. Jungkook was not impressed and pulled you back to him. Your heart swelled in your chest and you wrapped your arms around his neck in consolation. “Honestly? I haven’t really processed anything. You’ve had your whole life to come to terms with this. I just found out thirty minutes ago that I’m someone’s soulmate. It’s a lot to take in.”

Jungkook nodded as he tapped his fingers against your hips. “I know. It’s a lot…I’m a lot. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be with me. I won’t-”

Now it was your turn to burst into laughter. You couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. It was easily the most absurd thing you’d ever heard. “Jungkook, I want to make something very clear. I have no problem being your true mate. That’s not the issue here. Well, there really isn’t an issue. It’s just…hard to believe, I guess. I have to process that this is my new reality.”

“Really?” Jungkook perked up and looked so fucking cute you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks. His skin was so warm despite the cold autumn air that surrounded you both. “You want to do this? Be with me? Be mine?” All you could do was nod. You were so overwhelmed with emotions. The shock was evident, but a piece of you was so happy. You felt whole.

Jungkook’s face split into a wide smile that caused his nose to scrunch up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. Squealing, you slung your legs around his hips and held on. Normally, you’d rather die than show this much affection to someone. But, this was Jungkook. Your soulmate.

“So…what do we do now?” You asked once Jungkook set you down. “Is there, like, a ceremony or something?”

“I have no idea,” he admitted as he stared down at you. He had a hand against your jaw and was rubbing your cheek tenderly. “I really didn’t think I’d get this far.”

You scoffed at his ridiculousness. While recognizing you were Jungkook’s true mate was going to take some time, believing that he thought you’d deny him was utter nonsense. “What if…what if we date, first?” You suggested timidly. “I know that sounds kind of weird considering we’re supposed to be the loves of each others lives. But, I don’t really know you all that well. And, I think this is going to take sometime for me to get used to. Maybe we should date, get to know each other, and just learn how to be with one another.”

“Whatever you want,” Jungkook agreed. “We can do whatever you want. Just as long as I have you, I’m happy.”

Two years passed.

Two blissful, wonderful years. Two years of dating, two years of loving, two years of being Jeon Jungkook’s. It was everything you could’ve asked for and more. You had never felt so loved and cherished in your entire life. He respected you, he took care of you, and most importantly, he was there for you in every sense. Since the moment you met him, you hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t let you. Jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.

And, it was the same for him. You were there for him when he transitioned into the leader of his pack. You were there when he took over the CEO position from his father and encouraged and supported him every step of the way. You let yourself be loved and in return he let you love him. It was wonderful.

Except, for one tiny thing.

While the emotional aspect of your relationship flourished and bloomed into something beautiful, the physical side remained stagnant. Make out sessions and heavy petting were a norm in your relationship. At first, it didn’t bother you. In fact, you loved that Jungkook was taking things so slow and so seriously. But, eventually, your needs began to grow. You found yourself wanting him in more ways than one, wants that only he could satisfy. Jungkook refused. Every time.

It wasn’t like he refused your every need. No, Jungkook was extremely attentive. When it came to himself, that’s when things got dicy. He had no problem spending hours between your legs, worshipping you until you were crying from the overstimulation. Yet, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him. Not without lack of trying on your part. The minute your hands went down to his waistband, he pushed you away. Every time you tried to dip your mouth to the obvious bulge in his pants, he lifted you up and kissed you breathless until you forgot your name. It wasn’t until after a year of dating that he finally let you grind on his clothed cock. Even then, he held off until you finished and then walked out with quite possibly the worst case of blue balls. You hated that he did this to himself. The worst part was, you couldn’t understand why.

The one time you had brought it up to him it had resulted in the worst fight the two of you had ever gotten into. It was the only argument that was never really resolved. After the yelling and the tears, all you got out of Jungkook was that mating with a wolf was not pretty. It was extremely dangerous and he refused to put you in that kind of danger. End of discussion. No matter how hard you tried to persuade him or broach the subject, he shut it down. Hard. Eventually, you gave up.

He even spent his ruts away from you. Every three months, he left you for a week. You knew he had a place somewhere up in the mountains and you assumed that’s where he went. You had no idea. There was no point even asking to come along. You loved your boyfriend and didn’t want to purposely give him a heart attack. You hated it when he left. As much as you tried to hide it and convince him that you were just fine, he wasn’t stupid. Being away from him was tough. A piece of you was missing whenever he was gone. And you were only whole again when he returned.

This past week had been one of those weeks. He had left on Sunday for the mountains. He was agitated and clingy, how he normally was pre-rut. Jungkook wouldn’t let you leave his side and you spent most of the weekend on his lap or wrapped in his arms. Not that you minded. When he left your parents house on Sunday night, you’d had to coax him out of the door. Promising him that you’d be okay and that you’d see him next week. It wasn’t until several kisses later did Jungkook finally leave.

While you’d been doing this for two years, it never got easier. More manageable? Sure. But definitely not easier. All you could do was go through the motions. You went to work at the local bakery, came home and helped your mom with dinner, watched TV with your dad before going to bed. Taehyung and Jimin would visit often, threatened by Jungkook to keep you company. While you assured them it wasn’t necessary, you secretly didn’t mind. They made you laugh and made you temporarily forget your boyfriend was miles away from you. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he’d call you to tell you goodnight. But those times were rare. Normally, you didn’t hear from him until Friday or Saturday when he was finally coming out of his rut and returning to the world.

By the time Sunday rolled around, you were a jittery ball of nerves. Not in a bad sense. You were just excited. The anticipation killed you and it took all of your willpower to sit and wait for his text to tell you to come over. Your parents always left you alone on these Sundays, unable to deal with your hyperactiveness and constant fidgeting.

This Sunday was no different. You puttered around your room for the better part of the day. You spent the other part in the kitchen, baking like your life depended on it. Jungkook loved your cookies and you always made sure to come over with at least three batches after his ruts. He always said that was his second favorite part about coming home, after seeing you, of course.

You had just finished packaging the final batch in a glass cookie jar when your phone dinged. You didn’t have to read the message, you knew exactly what it said. Pure joy rushed through your system as you threw on your coat and shouted a hasty goodbye to your parents. Juggling the cookies and car keys, you sprinted to your car. The drive to Jungkook’s was thankfully not long. About ten minutes, as long as you didn’t hit any traffic on the main road. Luck was on your side, though, and you showed up at Jungkook’s house in eight minutes.

Taehyung’s car was in the driveway when you pulled up, which wasn’t odd. Although Jungkook owned the house, the members of his pack were almost always around. While most preferred to travel in their wolf forms, you knew Taehyung and Namjoon preferred cars. Something about being able to listen to their own music without comments from the peanut gallery. You didn’t really understand and didn’t really need to. You had just chalked it up as one of their many quirks.

Carrying the trays of cookies in both hands, you shut your car door with your foot before speed-walking up the stone walkway to Jungkook’s home. The screen door was shut, but the wooden door was swung wide open. You had just reached for the metal handle when you heard it.

A deep, threatening growl ripped through the peaceful quiet and froze you in place. You knew it was Jungkook. While you had only heard it once, you’d never forgotten it. It was when the two of you had attended a party and an alpha from a neighboring pack had cornered you in the hallway. Jungkook had found you cowered against the wall as the other alpha had caged you in. The sound that had left his chest had given you equal parts comfort and fear. Comfort, because he was there and you knew you were safe. Fear, because you could see in the way he bared his teeth and how his muscles vibrated, he had been furious and bloodthirsty.

That’s what you felt now, fear.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

From your vantage point in front of the screen door, you could see directly into the kitchen. Taehyung was leaning against the granite countertop and Jungkook was seated at the island. The tension was so thick you practically choked on it.

“Enough, Taehyung.”

“No,” Taehyung snapped, seeming just as angry as Jungkook. “I’m not dropping it. Not this time.”

“Yes, you will,” Jungkook snarled. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Too fucking bad.” While Taehyung was also an alpha, he acted so much like a beta you never really noticed. Until now. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. Not spending your ruts correctly is only causing you more harm than good.”

“I’m doing things the way I want to, and it’s working-”

“The hell it is!” Jungkook growled at the interruption but Taehyung ignored him. “It’s not working, and you know it. Anyone with two fucking eyes knows it. It’s getting so bad that the pack is noticing, too. Even Namjoon has realized something is wrong, and he’s as oblivious as they come.”

“If they have a problem with me they can take it up with me.”

“No, they can’t. Because you won’t listen. Your head is so far up your ass you can’t even hear yourself anymore. What you’re doing right now is not working. Something needs to change.”

“Like what?” Jungkook spat.

“You know what,” Taehyung bit back. Jungkook was practically vibrating from rage. You knew you needed to go get someone, someone from the pack to calm the two of them down. Things were only escalating, but you couldn’t move. Your brain screamed at you to run but your legs were rooted in place. “That’s is what’s so frustrating, Jungkook. This, all of this, could be solved. She’s right there-”

“Don’t.” Jungkook stood up so fast the chair he sat on flew backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.

“Why?” Taehyung threw his arms up in the air. “Why not? I don’t get it-”

“Because I don’t want her!” Jungkook yelled, the force of it rang throughout the house. You had no idea who the she was that they were referring to. You assumed it was someone from the pack. It was well-known that wolves with human mates sometimes turned to other she-wolves to help with their ruts. You figured that’s what Jungkook did whenever he went away for a week. It had bothered you at first, but you knew he had his needs and that they were at a biological level. You refused to make him feel guilty or ashamed for taking care of himself.

“You don’t want her?” Taehyung was enraged. You could tell by the way he straightened his spine and unfurled himself to his full height. Jungkook bristled in response and the muscles in his back strained against the thin material of his shirt.

“No, I don’t!” Jungkook exploded. “What don’t you understand about that? I don’t want her around me. I don’t need her, I’m fine on my own. The thought of having her there when…God - it makes me physically ill.”

“She’s your girlfriend. Above all of that, your true mate. You’re seriously going to deny yourself of her, for what? Just because you don’t like having her around?”

Oh.

That’s when it hit you. They weren’t talking about some random she-wolf. They were talking about you. You were the one Jungkook didn’t want. You were the one Jungkook didn’t need. You were the one he didn’t like having around. As the weight of the words sunk into your mind, you felt your chest becoming tighter and tighter.

Then, you’re heart broke right in half. You dropped the container of cookies and didn’t flinch when it shattered against the wooden slats. The sound unstuck your feet from their position on the porch and your fight or flight system took over. Without a second thought, you turned on your heel and ran.

You didn’t know if anyone was behind you, you didn’t turn around to check. Hands fumbled for the car door as you threw yourself into the drivers side. Pain ricocheted throughout your chest cavity and you struggled to breathe. Your brain was blank, the only thing your mind did was move your body to get you somewhere safe. You had to leave and you had to leave now.

Miraculously, your fingers found your keys and inserted them into the ignition on the second try. A flutter of movement occurred to the left of you but your eyes didn’t let you look that way. Instead, they focused on the rearview mirror as you reversed out of the driveway. Your right hand found the gearshift and moved it to drive. Soon, you were tearing down the street as your ears refused to register the agonized howls that echoed behind as you kept staring forward. Adrenaline pumped through your system and your body shivered in response, the splash of hormones had created a blanket of fake calm over you. The emotions, the pain, the thoughts were swirling inside of you, ready to break free and drown you, but your brain wouldn’t allow it.

It wasn’t until you reached the end of your long driveway that you felt the original spike of adrenaline fade away. Your mother was in the front, tending to the flowers, and looked up when she saw your car fly into its usual spot. She stood up and her face twisted into a frown when you got out of your seat.

“Honey, your aura…it’s concerning.” The blanket was yanked away and the pain crashed over you.

You couldn’t say a word, all you could do was collapse in your mother's arms and cry, cry, cry.

It took you two days to calm down. The tears had stopped rolling and your shoulders no longer shook from trying to hold your sobs behind your teeth. Your mother hadn’t left your side, leaving your father to answer the door whenever someone knocked. The only person who did was Taehyung and Jimin. Jungkook never showed up.

Well, that was a lie.

Jungkook did show up every morning and night, without fail. But he never came to your doorstep.  Instead, he was in the woods behind your house, patrolling, not daring to leave the protection of the forest. A part of you wondered if he was respecting your obvious need for space or if your mother had paid a witch to set up boundary lines that didn’t allow him to cross. Either way, you were grateful that you couldn’t see him. There was an incessant tugging in your heart to be near him but you staunchly ignored it, which would’ve been impossible if you saw his achingly beautiful face.

I don’t want her. I don’t need her. Having her there makes me physically ill. Those three sentences played in a constant loop in your head, like a horror movie you couldn’t escape from. You were the protagonist who couldn’t escape the maze, but the villain wasn’t kind enough to kill you off. No matter what you did, your brain wouldn’t stop repeating those three sentences. Your mother burned sage, she pressed crystals into your palms, she muttered ritual after ritual, but nothing worked.

You hated how affected you were. You had always told yourself that you would never be the girl who’d get so wrapped up in someone else they didn’t know who they were anymore. Independence was something you prided yourself on, but you seemed to be at a complete loss now. You couldn’t stop the waves of sadness and self-hatred at your depressed state. It was amazing how empty you felt yet so full of pain at the same time. Your mind and heart couldn’t seem to decide which hurt worse; your heart for having your soulmate so obviously reject you, or your brain for trying to make sense of the situation. When did this happen? How did this happen? How had you been so blind as to not see it?

“I don’t think we’re soulmates,” you rasped to your mom on the third morning. It had been the first words you had spoken to her since you had fell into her arms. She looked up from the bundle of herbs she was smoking.

“Why do you say that?”

You stared at your hands that had curled in on themselves. “I don’t make him happy. I-I never realized how uncomfortable I made him. I wish I had known. How did I miss it?”

Your mother tutted gently and gathered you in her arms. She smelled of lavender and wax. “This is good. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this moment. Let’s sit in this and allow yourself to be embedded here.” But you didn’t want to have this moment. You didn’t want to have any moment and you’ve felt enough to last a lifetime. Instead, you rolled over, let sleep overtake you and tried to ignore the distant howling that rattled your window pane.

By nightfall of the fourth day, you were forced out of bed. Partly by choice, partly by force. Your parents had dipped out to run to the grocery store, despite your mother’s insistence that she could stay. You and your father managed to convince her to leave and you had gotten up to wave them goodbye. Sure, your heart was broken, but the least you could do was kiss them on the cheek before they left. You had turned around to shuffle into the kitchen to try and shovel something down your dry throat when a loud knock sounded at the front door. Hesitating, you carefully peeked through the kitchen window and saw Jimin on your front doorstep, dressed in all black.

Sighing, you stumbled over and pulled the door open. You figured you couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Hey, Jimin.”

“Christ, you look like shit.”

You huffed out a laugh as Jimin stared at you in horror, not having the energy to be offended. You also knew, in a weird way, that this was Jimin’s way of caring for you. “Yeah. My mother’s covered all the mirrors in the house.”

Jimin nodded as he glanced at you from head to toe. “I want to ask if you’re okay but…” He gestured to your gaunt frame swaddled in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. For the first time in two years, they were your own clothes, not Jungkook’s.

“I’m fine, Jimin,” you heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to come in? I think my mom boiled some tea not too long ago.”

Jimin shook his head. “Can’t. Jungkook would have a fit if I got that close to you right now. I’m already pushing my luck just by showing up.” He doesn’t care, you thought bitterly, and almost said it out loud but you caught yourself at the last second. Jimin wasn’t stupid, though. He knew what you were thinking. “Hey,” he murmured, eyes going soft, “are you ready to talk about it?”

“No.” You shook your head. A wave of sadness washed over you but the telltale prick of tears didn’t come.

Jimin understood. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he rocked back onto his heels. “Are you going to talk to him?”

Letting out a heavy breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know I have to. I just…I just need time.”

“Take however long you need.”

It was another 48-hours before you finally snapped. While you had spent the majority of the two days that had passed to make yourself resemble a human being, you couldn’t focus. You couldn’t move on. Why?

Because Jungkook wouldn’t leave you alone.

His presence was constant. He circled your house every hour of ever day, the large shadow of him in wolf form darkened the trees behind your house. The howling had stopped but the pacing hadn’t. You hoped he was at least sleeping, but then you got annoyed at yourself for caring. You didn’t know why he was out there, it made no sense. Jungkook’s words were so different from his actions it made your head spin.

But, you needed to move on with your life. You had to. The only way it was going to happen was if Jungkook did too. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Yet, as sad and utterly pathetic as it sounded, you were used to the pain at this point, had resigned yourself to it. A part of you worried you wouldn’t know what to do without it.

Shaking off that depressing thought, you tugged on your rain boots and stepped outside for the first time in a week. The air was heavy with the promise of rain, the clouds low and gray. You tugged the hood up on your sweater to prevent your hair from completely frizzing out before you walked to down the back deck steps.

The backyard of your parents house was expansive. The home you had grown up in sat on top of a sloping hill that your mother had turned into her personal greenhouse. You stepped past rows of raised garden beds and pruned plants until you reached the line where the neatly mowed grass met the twisted ferns of the forest floor. As you had suspected, the ground was scorched with the evidence of past rituals. While your mother hadn’t out right admitted, you had figured someone had come and created a boundary line. It was obviously specific to Jungkook since Jimin and Taehyung were still able to visit. While your mother’s methods were extreme, you understood. As difficult as it was to move on with your life with Jungkook sequestered to the forest, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was within a few feet of you.

With a deep inhale, you sat down on the damp grass and waited. After a few minutes, you could hear the faint sounds of paws hitting the wet earth. The galloping got louder and louder until there was a momentary stretch of silence before it changed to footsteps.

When Jungkook emerged from the trees, you weren’t prepared. Although you knew you wouldn’t be, you still weren’t expecting it to hurt this bad. Your chest squeezed painfully at the first look of his broad form. Technically, it had been two weeks since you two had truly seen each other, the longest you’d ever gone. What hurt the most was how badly you longed for him. You wanted nothing more than to run straight into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and forget everything. Just forgive and give your heart what it wanted. But you remained firmly in place.

Jungkook looked as if he had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, was probably true since you hadn’t seen the sun in seven days. His normally golden skin was pale and even from where you sat you could see the dark circles bruising under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping. You hated that you noticed. You hated that you cared. He was dressed in all black and his chest strained against the material of his sweater. His hands were balled into tight fists at his side and the sight reminded you of why you were here.

“Hi.” Probably wasn’t the best start but it was the best you could do. Jungkook didn’t respond so you soldiered on. “I-I know you don’t want to be here, so I’ll make this quick. I just…wanted to apologize. I had no idea I made you so uncomfortable. I’m not sure how long you’ve felt this way about me, not that it really matters, but I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe things would’ve been easier for you, who knows.” You released a heavy sigh and tried to shove down the stone in your throat as you forced the next words out of your mouth. “But, all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I think I understand what you need, now. I know you loved me at one point, but I’m obviously not what you need anymore. And…t-that’s okay - I swear it is. All I want is for you to be happy, Jungkook. And I think, in order for that to happen, I need to move on. We both need to move on-”

“Stop it,” Jungkook broke in with a harsh voice that cut your sentence in half. “Stop talking.”

It felt like he had slapped you in the face. A wave of humiliation washed over you and you visibly flinched. Staggering to your feet, you locked your gaze onto your boots in an attempt to hide the tears that dripped down your nose. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, not expecting it to change anything. You began to turn away but Jungkook stopped you in your tracks, again.

“Wait, no - stop. Stop. Please…don’t go,” he pleaded. When you turned around, his eyes were frantic. Jungkook’s hand was raised from his side as if he thought about reaching out to you but something stopped him. His words were at war with one another and you were caught in the middle, at a loss for what he was trying so desperately to convey to you.

“Jungkook, I’m so confused.”

“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Jungkook tucked his head into his hands before dropping down into a squat. “This is all wrong. This is all so wrong.”

You knew you should walk away. You had said your piece, it was time to move on, just as you had said. Yet, you couldn’t. It was as if your heart was tethered to him and your body couldn’t handle the pain of walking away. “Listen-”

“I don’t know what to do.” He cut you off but the bubbles of anger that had risen from being interrupted popped once you saw how lost he looked. His tattooed fingers threaded through his hair, allowing you to see the pure anguish that twisted his features. “Whenever I feel like this, I come to you. Because you always know what to do. Any situation, no matter what, you can handle it. It’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

The way he spoke to you now, so reverently and so full of awe, made your head spin. Nothing made sense.  It was such a blatant contrast to the brutality that he had spat out a week ago. As much as you wanted to believe what he said now, those stupid words could not get out of your head. It was a constant reminder that never shut up.

“I don’t know what to do either,” you admitted in a quiet voice.

“Tell me,” Jungkook begged, as if he couldn’t and refused to comprehend what you had just told him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give you.”

You were shaking your head before he could finish. “There’s nothing you can do, Jungkook. Nothing.”

“Don’t say that.” He stared at you, horrified. “Don’t say that to me. Please, there has to be something.”

“What could there be?” You cried. Tears streamed down your cheeks now. “You said it yourself, being near me makes you sick. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? I refuse to make you uncomfortable anymore - so that’s that.”

“It isn’t,” Jungkook argued back. “It can’t be. I-I can’t lose you, I can’t. I need to make this right, please just let me. Please.”

But, you were tired. You were so fucking tired. You were exhausted of the emotional rollercoaster that you were on that you just wanted to crawl away and hide. All the fight seeped out of you as your shoulders slumped forward. Jungkook saw this and the blood drained from his face. You were giving up, he could see it, and it scared the shit out of him.

“Jungkook, I need to go, okay? I-I can’t do this.”

“No!” Jungkook shouted and shot up to his feet. The pure panic that choked his voice brought on a fresh set of tears that you struggled to hold back. “Just let me explain, okay? I swear to God, after you hear what I have to say, if you still want me to, I’ll let you go. I won’t fight you on it. But, please let me tell you the truth. Give me a chance to make this right. You deserve that.”

You hesitated for a moment. Deep down, you knew you should let him talk. Not because you necessarily thought he deserved to, but because he was right. You did deserve the truth, no matter how much it broke your heart. With a heavy sigh and a quick swipe of your cheeks, you nodded. Once Jungkook was sure you weren’t going to leave, he began pacing. Looking every bit like the wild animal you knew him to be but never got to see.

“Mating with a werewolf is…brutal. It’s intense, it’s painful and it isn’t pretty. It’s essentially a breeding session where I use you as a vessel to fulfill my innate biological needs. It’s not romantic, it’s not gentle. Even for she-wolves it can be too much. The thought of subjecting you to something like that - that type of pain…I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. The image of you being battered and bruised because of me, something I did…it tormented me, day and night.” He paused for a moment, the pained look in his eyes made you shiver. You hated that he had gone through all of this turmoil on his own, and you especially hated how you never made more of an effort to try and relieve him of it.

“I couldn’t do it. That’s partially the reason I waited so long to tell you that you were my true mate. I knew ruts were something I would never expose you to even though it’s such a huge part of my life, a wolf’s life.” Jungkook looked you straight in the eye, the intensity of his dark gaze took your breath away. “I know the practices other wolves partake in when their own heats or ruts arrive. I know you know them too. But, I need you to understand something. The moment you allowed me to be yours and vice versa, I haven’t had anyone else since. I swear on my life, I’ve spent every single one of my ruts alone. I wouldn’t and I won’t do that to you.”

“Isn’t that painful, though?” Your voice cracked but neither one of you acknowledged it. While your knowledge on ruts were expansive, having done plenty of research since being with Jungkook, you had obviously never experienced one.

“It’s manageable. It’s way more painful for a she-wolf to go through her heat alone than it is for a male.” Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists as he resumed his pacing. “The worst part is being away from you. I’ve been going through ruts since puberty, I can handle them. But not being able to be with you for a whole week…I hated it. Still do. I dread that three month mark. And as time went on, I became more and more miserable. Being apart from you was almost unbearable but the other option…I never even allowed myself to consider it.

“It came to the point where the pack was noticing. I wasn’t getting the proper pheromonal release from my ruts and it was beginning to affect those around me. Taehyung has been on my ass for months now to get over myself and take you with me during my next rut. Each time I’d give him some excuse, but it was getting harder and harder to justify what I was doing. At first, I was convinced it was because I was protecting you. But you’ve been so understanding and so patient with me and my life, those excuses were becoming useless. Eventually, I think it was because I was protecting myself. I was - am - so scared. I’m terrified that I could hurt you when I’m like that. That I wouldn’t be able to notice or worse, ignored, if something happened to you. Living with that type of fear became debilitating. So, I just kept my mouth shut and kept you away from that part of me.”

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. “Now I know that was the worst possible thing I could do. That I was just hurting you more. What you walked into last Sunday was a culmination of my frustrations that I was refusing to deal with. While it’s not a valid reason, I’m well aware of that, I need you to know that what you heard was not the truth. It couldn’t be further from it. Because the truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and the thought of being without you hurts worse than I ever thought was possible.”

It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time that Jungkook left you speechless. It took you a full minute to process what he had said. Jungkook granted you the silence although he became increasingly more agitated as time passed. His boots scuffed the dead leaves that littered the ground and his pacing led him closer to the ashes that lay before your feet. Then, he’d suddenly stalk off with a growl as he was forced to keep away.

“I-” you cleared your throat around the lump that had found a home there. “I had no idea. This whole time…I thought it was because you didn’t want me.”

“God, no.” Jungkook swore heavily as his muscles bunched and coiled beneath his clothes. “The - the fact that…you - fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. That’s not it, that’s not it at all. You’re my dream girl, you’re the love of my life, and I want you every second of every day.”

Maybe it’s because you were emotionally drained and had no mental strength left. Maybe, you needed to hear those words from Jungkook more than you realized. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t worth trying to figure out an explanation as you sunk to the ground and burst into tears.

Jungkook lost it across from you. Broken whines stained the air as he carded through his hair anxiously. He kept trying to get to you, to try to soothe you. But the boundary was unfortunately doing its job and each attempt was met with failure. Curses were spat out until eventually, he got as close as the boundary would let him and fell to his knees. He began spewing whatever came to mind first, unsure of what to do. All he knew was that you were crying because of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He thought hearing you cry from your bedroom window was torture, but nothing could compare to hearing you break down in front of him. Nothing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry…please, I’m so sorry. I - don’t cry, darling. Please don’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

It wasn’t tears of heartbreak that leaked from your eyes. Instead, it was tears of relief. While your heart had wholly accepted his words as the truth, the logical part of you reminded yourself that the two of you had way more talking to do. This was far from over, but the relief of knowing that he loved you and he was yours…it was indescribable.

You finally lifted your head up and were shocked to find Jungkook’s cheeks glistening with moisture. Your only thought was to comfort him as you scrambled forward to do just that. Instead of feeling his smooth skin against the palm of your hand, you were blocked by what felt like a wall although nothing stood in your way. Frowning, you realized with a start that the boundary worked both ways. Jungkook let out a frustrated growl as he glared at the ashes that was stopping both of you from getting what you wanted. It was silent for a few moments until an idea popped into your head.

“Wait here,” you announced before jumping up and taking off for the house. Ignoring Jungkook’s distressed cry, you ran inside. You yanked your car keys off from their designated hook and quickly typed out a text to your parents to let them know where you were going before spinning around and sprinting back outside. Jungkook was where you left him, although he stumbled to his feet when he saw you reappear.

“I’m going to your house,” you announced, breathless. “No witch is stupid enough to go that far into werewolf territory. If you want to talk to me there, then follow me.”

Jungkook stared at you for a heartbeat until the words you spoke clicked. “Y-yeah. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there.”

With a curt nod, you ran to your car. For the first time in a week, a faint sprout of hope bloomed in your chest.

It was the longest and shortest ten minutes of your life. The drive to Jungkook’s seemed to last a lifetime but also was over within a blink of an eye. The tears had stopped flowing by the time you pulled your car into his driveway, but you felt the telltale prick in your eyes when you saw him burst from the trees. Your heart ached as his long legs ate up the distance between you two as you wrestled with your seatbelt and threw the car into park. By the time you freed yourself, he was at the hood of your car.

The two of you stared at each other for a few breathless moments. You weren’t sure who moved first, but it didn’t matter as you crashed into each other’s arms. The moment his searing warmth enveloped you, you dissolved into another puddle of sobs. The feeling of his thick arms banded across your back, his torso molded to yours, and his hair tickling your ear, felt so right. Another wave of crippling relief washed over you and you practically melted against Jungkook. But he held you up, just like he always had.

He leaned against the front bumper while his hands were everywhere. Cradling your head into his neck, smoothing over your hips, or running circles over your shoulders. He was crying, you could feel the tears dampening your hair. But you were soaking his shirt so no one was in any position to complain.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t,” Jungkook hissed fiercely as he squeezed you tighter. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, not in the slightest.”

“Kook,” you sighed and pulled your head back to get a good look at him. “It takes two to tango.”

“Not this time,” he argued. “You’ve put up with so much. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more. It was my own fears that got in the way and created this mess. And I’m so sorry for that, darling. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You shushed him gently, running your thumbs over his cheeks to swipe at the dried tears. “I know you’re sorry. I believe you.”

Jungkook dipped his head further into your touch with a pleased rumble vibrating through his chest. He kissed your palm gently, sniffing at your wrist. It made you giggle. “Missed that,” Jungkook mumbled as he stared at you with stars in his eyes. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”

A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks. You were positive that you looked like a mess, hair in a knotted bun, face red and puffy and you kept sniffling every two seconds. But Jungkook looked at you as if you held the world in your hands. “Missed you too,” you murmured in return. “Please, next time, just talk to me. I may not have the answers you’re looking for all the time, but I’ll always be here to listen.”

“I know,” Jungkook whispered. “There won’t be a next time, promise. If I happen to be stupid enough to put us in this position again, I give you full permission to punch me in the face.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You lifted yourself onto your toes to brush your lips against his, dropping back down to your feet when his head chased after yours. “Or maybe I just won’t kiss you for a week.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened comically and he actually looked terrified. “I’d rather you just punched me in the face.” You tilted your head back and laughed. Jungkook tugged you closer and nosed your throat before peppering gentle kisses along the exposed skin. Sighing happily, you tilted your head to allow him better access and rested your cheek on his shoulder.

“I love you,” you said quietly. Jungkook froze for a split second before he sank against you. Squeaking in shock, you scrambled to brace yourself against the sudden weight pressing you towards the house.

“Say it again,” Jungkook pleaded. You couldn’t deny him. Dusting feather light kisses to the shell of his ear, you repeated those three words again, and again, and again. Each time you did, Jungkook held you a little tighter and cried a little harder.

Eventually, you’re murmured promises became softer and softer until the two of you just enjoyed each others presence. “C’mon,” you finally whispered as you started to lift yourself off of him. Jungkook growled and refused to let you move an inch farther. “Kook, come on. Let’s go inside. Your ass must be numb by now.”

“Don’t care,” he grumbled but he at least shuffled forward a bit more so that your combined weight wasn’t squashing his ass against your car.

“You might say that now, but you won’t be saying that later.”

Jungkook grunted at your logic but he at least raised his head and looked at you with the sweetest eyes. “Please tell me you’re staying.”

Giggling, you asked, “do you want me to?”

“Obviously,” he scoffed. “I want you here forever.” Jungkook tilted his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you should just move in with me.”

Christ, this boy was going to give you whiplash. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jungkook, we just made up. The whole reason we were in this mess is because of poor communication. Don’t you think we should work on that first before anything else?”

“But…we could work on communication all the time if we’re together 24/7.” Despite his pout, you knew he wasn’t totally serious. Although you were sure it was going to come up again.

“Alright, you maniac,” you said fondly. “Take me to bed.” Jungkook’s chest rumbled happily as he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his trim waist.

It wasn’t a long walk to his bedroom, but the exhaustion of the past week caught up to you and the gentle rocking of his steps lulled you into a serene state. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. You were aware when Jungkook placed you on his bed, practically engulfed in his scent. The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the words Jungkook pressed into your hair has he slid in behind you.

“Love you forever, my darling girl.”

©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.

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#jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook hurt/comfort #fluff fic #angst fic #hurt/comfort fic #angst with a happy ending #abo verse #abo dynamics #soulmate!au #soulmate!jungkook #werewolf!jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook one shot #jungkook fanfic #bts scenario #bts fanfic #bts one shot #bts x reader #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongkook #jeon jeongguk #written in the stars #jcwriting

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Desperate Measures.

Pairing: Yandere!Kaeya/Reader (Genshin Impact).

Word Count: 2.2k.

TW: Kidnapping, Emotional Manipulation, Implied Stalking, and Delusional Mindsets.

Kaeya was a man, distracted.

Distracted. Divided. Not inattentive, but pulled away from his responsibilities by a force he couldn’t name and couldn’t say he cared for, either. He wasn’t a stranger to romantic inclinations — fantasies, sudden flings, slow-burning inclinations that died the moment his attention was called elsewhere. Predictably, the few relationships he allowed himself were short-lived, at best distasterous at worst, but he didn’t have a problem with that. If anything, Kaeya appreciated it. He’d always thought of company as optional, and what little loneliness he was still capable of feeling could be drowned with a generous glass of wine. He wasn’t one to linger. He tried not to overstay his welcome. He’d been sentimental, once, too emotional for his own good, and he’d learned his lesson. He didn’t intend to change.

He didn’t want to change.

And yet, here he was.

Distracted.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t focus. It was all he could do to look like he might’ve been trying to read the most recent document left on his desk – this one from Jean, a directive for the younger knights or legislation she needed him to review or another vague, important report that he probably would’ve dealt with weeks ago, if he’d been able to concentrate.

He made a half-hearted effort to straighten his back as the door to his office began to open, but Kaeya dropped the act quickly, abandoning it completely by the time he heard the sound of heeled boots against hollow tile, caught a glimpse of a familiar (albeit, rarely used) catalyst, searched for eyes and found the cover of a thin book, instead, your face still buried in your newest novel as you stepped through the threshold, not bothering to knock. It was you. He should’ve known it would be. Who else did he deserve?

You, Lisa’s new assistant. You, the latest addition to the Knights of Favonius. You, his current, infuriating, unshakable fixation.

You, the new recruit who hadn’t paid him so much as a passing glance since your arrival, much to Kaeya’s frustration.

You didn’t look at him. You rarely ever did, but it hurt more than it usually did, today, as you dropped another form onto his desk, letting it replace the greeting you’d forgotten to offer. “Lisa needs you to sign this,” You started, laying out your priorities clearly, a skill Kaeya was beginning to resent. “It’s just next year’s budget. If you don’t want to read it, I think I’ll be able to look the other way.”

He glanced over the rows of numbers, the messy hand-writing, the columns of meaningless gibberish that blended together into a mess of ink and digits, and took your suggestion, scrawling his name across the only blank line. It was a lost cause, especially with you in the room. Especially with your unoccupied hand resting on his desk, your fingertips idly tapping an unsteady rhythm into the wood, and all he could think about was who he’d be willing to kill to feel that hand pressed against his cheek.

He considered asking you, for a moment, giving you an order and hoping you'd absent-mindedly obey. He thought about touching you, or running his fingers through your hair, or pulling you into his lap and mumbling sweet-nothings into your ear until someone else dragged you away.

He thought about a lot of things. Then, he said, “I take it your silence comes at a price?”

“Do I seem that selfish to you?” You were selfish. You had to be selfish. If you weren’t, then surely you would’ve been kind enough to put him out of his misery months ago. “I like helping people. Just remember this when I need a favor from you.”

“I’m sure we could work something more immediate out,” He went on, but you were already starting towards the door, calling the conversation to a close before Kaeya could begin to finish. In the back of his mind, something flared, the urge to catch your wrist, to go after you, to put himself between you and the only exit and refuse to move until you looked at him, but he forced it down, swallowing the temptation before it could eclipse his common sense. He couldn’t be impulsive. He couldn’t make rash decisions. He wasn’t prepared to deal with how difficult that would make things, not now.

Not yet.

“Join me for a drink?” He tried, again, attempting to sound unbothered. Nonchalant, casual, normal. Like he wasn’t itching to burn every book you’d touched. “I know you don’t have anything better to--”

“Another night, Captain.”

And just like that, you were gone, leaving Kaeya’s muttered response to echo through his empty office.

“Of course.”

~

Kaeya was a man, desperate.

Like a starving dog. Like a traveler who hadn’t seen water in thirty days. Like a distraught, distressed, disturbed knight, wandering through a maze of a library, cursing the existence of every shelf that separated him from you. He knew where you'd be. You were a creature of habit, and he’d already had more than enough time to memorize your routine. He’d had enough time to memorize everything about you, as ashamed as he was to admit it. It was a testament to his devotion, to how much time he’d spent trying and failing to win your favor.

It was evidence of how pathetic he’d gotten, over the course of his one-sided pursuit.

You were in your usual spot – tucked into the far corner of the library, perched on the edge of a windowsill, your attention monopolized by the tattered scroll spread across your lap. You were still pouring over it by the time he reached you, slumping against the nearest wall, taking in how brilliantly the muted sunlight looked as it danced across your skin. He didn’t try to hide the way he stared, anymore. He was long past worrying that you’d care enough to notice. Your hair was unkempt, proof that’d you slept in the archives again, if you’d slept at all. Your lips were bleeding, too, the lower one chewed raw and split down the middle, but it might’ve been stranger if they weren’t. It must’ve been a nervous tick, but Kaeya found it cute. Kaeya found it endearing. Kaeya found everything about you endearing, and to the archons, he wanted to see those lips wrapped around his co--

And he hated it. He found everything about you endearing, and he hated it. That was all.

He sighed, the sound airy, exhausted. You didn’t look up, but that was fine. It would’ve only hurt him further if someone as simple as that drew out your concern. “I’m in love with you.”

There was a hum, soft and contemplative. A rather generous response, by your standards. “I’ve noticed.”

“You’re all I think about.” It was an awkward confession, one he’d already used a hundred different times. He didn’t care. He’d use it a hundred more, if he had to. “I’m a wreck. I can barely remember my own name, and some days I can’t even do that. I can’t fight, I can’t eat, I can hardly breathe. Every morning, I wonder what it would be like to wake up to your smile, and every night, I stare at my ceiling and loath myself because I’m not holding you in my arms. For fuck’s sake, just yesterday, I almost kissed Albedo because the chemicals he was working with reminded me of the way your favorite kind of flower smells, and I’m just so fucking desperate, I convinced myself that was the closest I’d ever come to kissing you.”

He was rambling, by the end, panting, yelling, but you only blinked when he was done, once, then twice. Your dull nails bit into the edges of your scroll, but you didn’t seem to mind, nor did you move to roll it up as you finally turned to face him, the confusion written clearly across your expression. “You kissed Albedo?”

“You don’t get it,” He said, and you nodded in agreement. “You don’t fucking get it.”

“I think I do,” You admitted, more earnestly. Your gaze dropped back to the ground, and instantly, Kaeya deflated. “I just… I just don’t think it’d work out, if I’m being honest. I’m still new. I still have to give everyone else a reason to trust me, and I don’t think it’s in my best interest to start a relationship with one of my superiors so early on.” You paused, laughing to yourself, and something in Kaeya’s chest tightened. It was the happiest he’d been since he met you, and he still felt like you’d pushed a sword through his heart and twisted. “But, you don’t really want a relationship, do you? You’re just bored, and you need something to fixate on. I’m the most available option, so...” You trailed off, finishing your sentence with a vague, stilted sweeping gesture. “It’ll be easier for both of us, this way. I like you, Captain, but I don’t like you enough to put myself through that.”

It was all he could do to remember how to open his mouth. Once he did, the words came stumbling out on their own.

“Of course.”

~

Kaeya was a man, determined.

Determined might’ve been the wrong word for it. Too soft, too suggestive, the impression too positive and the meaning too vague. ‘Depraved’ might’ve suited him better, but that was too harsh, too primitive, and he’d like to think he’d been as gentle as anyone could expect him to be, given your stubbornness. He’d tried to be gentle. He’d wanted to be gentle. If he was going to do this to you, he could at least do it gently. You deserved that much, at least.

Or, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you didn’t deserve any of this.

He couldn’t really make up his mind, about that.

“Lisa?”

And he was gentle, more so than he had to be. Sure, you were on the floor, bare stone already beginning to chafe at your skin, but the shackles around your wrists were padded, and he’d given you enough slack to sit down, to ball yourself up, to act like it’d never crossed your mind that he’d resort to something so… easily misinterpreted. The blindfold was, similarly, an act of mercy. You’d panic if you woke up like this, chained to a wall in someone else’s cellar, and Kaeya didn’t want that. You needed time, and he could give you that. He would give you that. Even if it pained him to stay at arm’s length.

“Amber?”

He wanted to touch you. It’d be easy, now, easier than it’d ever been before. You wouldn’t be able to push him away, and even if you tried to, he could always overpower you. Take you by the neck, pin you against the floor, leave you shaking and trembling and begging, pleading with a captor you couldn’t see. He’d find a way to make it up to you, later on. He’d find a way to lie, to smile, to make it better, even if he’d failed to time and time again, out there. But, this would be different. You wouldn’t be able to cling to your excuses, and he’d be able to show you how much he cared, how much he wanted this, how much he loved you. This would be better.

“Kaeya?”

See? You were already coming around.

Your voice was already soft, hesitant, a sliver of a whisper that was constantly on the verge of dying out completely. You were trying not to make noise, trying not to seem as terrified as you really were, but he could hear the way your breath hitched as he took a step forward, your restraints rattling as you curled into yourself. You couldn’t hide from him, but you wanted to. That much was obvious. You didn’t want this.

But, he did. More than you could ever want to run away from it.

He wanted to touch you, but he held himself back. Instead, he only kneeled in front of you, letting himself linger for a moment before he spoke. “I’m here, love.”

“Where are we?” You were afraid, too scared to put the pieces together. Not while you could still hope there was another explanation. Not while you could still deny the apparent. “My head hurts, and I can’t--”

“I know, and I’ll make it up to you.” This time, he let himself reach out, cupping your cheek and chuckling as you tried to shy away. The two of you could work on that, later on. He could live with the guilt if he let himself enjoy it, now. “Just give me a moment, alright? Just a second, then I’ll take care of you.”

You opened your mouth, then you closed it again. Kaeya wondered if you’d be bold enough to refuse if he did try to kiss you, or hold you, or go further than the fleeting touches he’d swore would keep him satisfied, at first, at least. He wondered if he’d care, when you did. “Are… are you going to hurt me?”

He wanted to reassure you. He wanted to promise he’d be patient, that he’d understand if you lashed out, that violence wasn’t an option he was willing to consider, but he couldn’t, like this, could he? He didn’t want to hurt you, but he’d never wanted to kidnap you, either, not until you made it obvious he didn’t have another choice. He didn’t want to stoop so low, he didn’t want you to hate him, but…

But, he was lying again, wasn’t he?

To tell the truth, he couldn’t remember the last time he genuinely cared whether or not you loved him back.

You stifled a scream as his hand dropped to your jaw, his grip tightening as he jerked you forward, just close enough to wrap his arm around your waist, to bury his face in the side of your neck, to get a taste of what you’d deprived him of. It wasn’t enough, he doubted it’d ever be enough, but he had you. He had you, he was close to you, and he had you. That had to be enough, for now.

“We’ll see.”

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