#aromantic problems

[arofulboyfriend]

I think the thing that bothers me the most about aroacespec (arospec, acespec, and both) erasure in fandom is that we've, for the most part, collectively agreed that it is bad to freeze entire groups out of fandom just because their needs are different than fandom's "collective needs," like how we've agreed to listen to Black and fans of color telling us about how they're treated really poorly and this is unacceptable. that even if fandom has a tendency to only focus on their white male faves, they need to strive to do better so fans of color feel safe and welcome.

But I don't see that same courtesy being extended to aroacespec folks, specifically romance/sex averse/repulsed ones. instead, we get told that our identities are inherently incompatible with fandom, despite fandom being touted as the queer people's activity, because we're not allowed to want or need sfw spaces, or gen fics, or our character's identities to be respected. we're told that if we don't suck it up and become the good and pure smut and romance loving aros/aces, we'll never find community or be welcomed in fandom.

And that sucks, you know? Why should I have to change myself, or stamp down my emotions, just to be one of the Good Ones? why has fandom decided that excluding some groups is okay? why, every time someone tries to create spaces safe for repulsed/averse aros/aces, does it become a subject of mockery and hoping it fails?

why are we expendable?

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aromantic asexual #actually aromantic #actually asexual #actually aroace #aroacespec #aroace problems #aromantic problems #asexual problems #arospec #acespec #seren yaps

[bloggingboutburgers]

Every damn time

#no one can know i don't like sex #asexual #aromantic #aroace #asexual problems #aromantic problems #my art #nonburger

[userwaddles]

I really need someone to sleep with. Like literally hold and sleep and wake up next to. I don't want to date you or anything. Just be a friend, be a roomie.

Let me listen to your voice, let me count your heartbeat and let us drift off oversharing.

#aromantic pride #aromantic problems #aromantic #aromance #aroace #arospec #aromantic asexual #asexual #ace pride #lgbtqia #aesthetic attraction #platonic #platonic attraction #qpr #queer platonic relationship #queer platonic attraction

[feelingthedisaster]

where are all my people (closeted aroace girls whose parents think they are a lesbian bc they lack interest in men)?

#my mom casually says stuff in like “i support homosexuals” and then she looks at me like she looks looks at me #i am like #🧍‍♀️ #sorry wrong tree #i wont come out to her tho #thingsis of being aroace and having a physchologist mom in a country that still thinks of asexuality/aromanticism as a mental ilness #maybe she learnt about it on college #so no coming out soon #(praying she doesnt found my “secret” social medias bc im openly aroace on them) #aro #ace #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aspec #arospec #acespec #aromantic asexual #aro problems #aromantic problems #asexual problems #ace problems #aroace problems #lesbian #lgbtqia+

[thearoacemoon]

The aro urge of…

Wanting more books, movies, TV shows about friendship between adults that don't turn into romance at any point of the plot.

Because society and media thinks only kids want friendship in fiction.

And sometimes even "kid's fiction" has romance. I never understood why they do it!

#lgbtqia #aromantic #queer #aroace #aspec #aro #lgbt #aro things #aro problems #aro stuff #aromantic problems #aromantic spectrum

[aroace-cat-lady]

Sometimes you find a book that is just perfect the first 60% and then amatonormativity shows up like an unrequired bitch.

#amatonormativity #actually aromantic #aromantic problems #actually aroace #arospec #aromantic pride #aromance #aromanticism #aromantic #aro #aroace #aromantism #actually aro #aro ace #aro pride #aro spec #aro spectrum #aro stuff #aro things #aroace memes #aroacespec #aspec

[space-raccoon1]

Being a closeted Aroace is so difficult sometimes because my friends will go into full detail about how badly they wanna fuck some guy and I’ll just be sitting there like

#aroace #aro pride #closeted #aromantic #asexual #asexual pride #relateable #aromantic pride #aromantic problems #aroace problems #asexual problems

[emily-wesley3]

Aspec Bingo Card by @aroandaces

https://instagram.com/aroandaces?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

#aspec bingo #actually aspec #actually aromantic #actually asexual #aroace #aromantic #asexual #asexuality #ace pride #aro pride #aromantism #aro #arospec #ace #aspec #demiromantic #greyromantic #aromantic problems #acespec #instagram

[imhere-imqueer-ilikedeer]

fuck me i keep shortening best friend to bf

#aromantic problems #i forget it has another meaning #and now it's a habit #me : oh yeah my bf said- #family: BF????? #Me: fuck not again #best friend #aromantic #aro #herequeerdeerrobin #lgbtqia #queer #arospec

[retropineapple]

Me when someone only mentions the asexual part of an AroAce character's identity:

#aromantic #aroace #aromantic spectrum #aromantic problems #an original post #This post is mostly about Alastor from Hazbin Hotel #and it's not like it's old posts I'm finding from before we knew he was aro too #these are recent posts I'm talking about

[tbposting]

#aromantic #lgbtq #queer #aromantic problems #aromanticism

[aromantic-nerd]

I’m gonna make something REAL CLEAR.

As an aro, I often preach that we need to be working together, (as the aspec community and as a society in general,) to dismantle the norms that say every person wants/needs a partner, that everyone needs to get married, and that those things are requirements for happiness. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, especially because these norms harm many different groups of people, not only aspecs.

What I’m really tired of, is allos automatically assuming that because I preach these things, that I hate marriage, romance and love, that I have a vendetta towards people who engage in those things, and that I want to make alloromantic people feel guilty for being alloromantic.

It’s another classic case of “it’s not about you, it’s about the systemic norms we all live with and experience in day-to-day life.”

I hold no hate or dislike towards anyone who is in a romantic relationship, married, or engaging in other romantic activities with a partner or partners. Really. I have two parents and many family members and friends that are happily married and in love.

That being said, I don’t want to engage in romance and I am not alloromantic, so these norms impact me in a profound way that’s sometimes hard to describe. I want to dismantle the norms because it will make my life and many other’s lives a lot easier. This does not mean, however, that I support the absolute collapse of the components of these norms.

If some people’s thoughts didn’t always jump straight to “this person’s views and opinions are attacking me and my lifestyle,” when engaging in conversations about amatonormativity and the norms that come with it, then they would recognize that most aromantic people actually support romance-favourability.

Know the difference between dismantling the systemic romantic norms and abolishing the entire system of romantic components and ideas which encompass said norms.

The former is an effective way to make many groups of people feel more comfortable and less alienated, and the latter is just as ineffective and discriminatory as pushing for romantic norms to be continued they are now. As aros, most of us just want to feel like we belong in a society that constantly reminds us that we don’t. It is not our goal to make allos feel guilty, or to radically change society’s ideals to fit an inherently romance-negative narrative.

We just want to dismantle amatonormativity in society, by changing the mindset and narrative to a way of thinking that does not discriminate between alloromantic and aromantic people. That’s all.

#aromantic #aromantic problems #aromantic culture #aromantic community #aromantic issues #fuck amatonormativity #dismantle amatonormativity #amatonormativity #alloromantics can be so defensive #i didn’t want to format this into an Instagram post to here we are #aro thoughts #aromantic thoughts #know the difference #cause it exists :) #allos pls stop making assumptions #Elle’s screaming rants #reblog reblog reblog

[bloggingboutburgers]

And then you get into a queerplatonic relationship with a person who's same-assigned-gender-at-birth as you and some peeps respond with homophobia because winning is overrated... But at least it's a response ig

#no one can know i don't like sex #asexual #aromantic #coming out #asexual problems #aromantic problems #my art #nonburger #not everyone responds with homophobia thankfully though #grateful for my family

[userwaddles]

As an aroace person with a lot of sensual and aesthetic attraction, I not only confuse people, I confuse myself.

#aroace #aromantic #aromantic asexual #asexual #lgbtqia #aromance #oriented aroace #aromantic pride #aromantic problems #ace pride #aesthetic attraction #imposter syndrome

[feelingthedisaster]

something that annoys me a lot in fanfiction as an aromantic is when people dont tag important platonic/familial relationships but tag random romantic stuff

i remember this fic in which there were platonic relationships that were almost as important as the main romantic ship, yet they werent tagged. but a romantic relationship that didnt even had a full scene was tagged.

there are millions of fics that do this. why only tagging romantic stuff? you have non romantic relationships in your fic that are just as important. tagging them would actually help the fic to get more readers (the ones looking for fics with gen relationships) but no, the romantic couple that had ¼ of chapter (of a multichapter fic) was a more relevant tag. wonder why

#amanormativity #ao3 fic #ao3 #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 tags #ao3 fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #ao3 author #ao3 reader #fanfic reader #fanfictions #fanfics #fandom #fandom community #fandom ships #fandom culture #aro #platonic #platonic relationships #familial relationships #romantic relationships #gen fic #aromantic #aro problems #aromantic problems #i hate amanormativity #fuck amatonormativity

[thearoacefromspace]

I think going to prom was the first time I was actually upset I was aroace

#aroace #aroace problems #aromantic #aromantic problems #asexual #aro #ace