#anyways went out after a year and half feels nice
THE WORLD HATES ME
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I have a series of half written posts and I’m going to mix them all together like a gumbo. Prepare to be served!
I’ve been obsessed with the mirror. It’s not what you think, if you’re thinking narcissism. It’s more criticism. My face be looking jacked up. And yo girl is fluffy.
See, it all started with the Sprouts cookies. The freaking salted caramel chocolate chip cookies. I bought a box for the break room at work and it was such a hit. Then I bought a box for home for me and BJ. And then BJ bought a box. And then we started trying other flavors. That’s when things started getting out of control. At one point, we had 4 different boxes of cookies at once. BJ bought a 50 pack of peanut butter cookies and I was like, ‘BJ? Who’s gonna eat 50 peanut butter cookies?’ He said he would. But then he went home to Seattle for a week. And you know I’m not one to let food go to waste…
Anyway, I’m now facing the consequences of me actions. At the peak of things, my face was very broken out and I was on the verge of buying new scrub pants because it was hard to get mine past my hips. So I am back on the skincare game and trying to hit the gym. Skincare is cool because it’s all chemistry and you just put different ingredients on your face depending on what you're trying to treat, like a potion. Hello 8 new products, pls make me less ugs. On the other hand, gyming is such a slow process and really just the worst. I’m constantly looking in the mirror like, am I fit and flawless yet? Nope. It would be nice to have a gym partner but Ngoc is so positive and I don’t want that kind of energy around me.
After girls brunch one Sunday recently, Ngoc came over under the pretense of learning the Butter dance with me and made me watch a kdrama with her. I haven’t seen her much in the last year and I honestly miss having my little sis around. It’s a different level of comfort being around someone who’s known you for that long. I miss living together, even though she’s messier than I am, which seems impossible. We just were lazing on the couch watching this drama, drinking these sake jello shot cans that she saw on Tik Tok. She’s the cutest. She just brings out the sillies in me because she’s always wanting to do hype things. And I can’t say no to my lil sis.
In romance news: We went to dinner and he was so excited, he kept saying over and over that this was his first time at a restaurant post-quarantine. Little Italy was crazy, it was so crowded with people on the sidewalks and the outdoor dining, live music playing in the piazza. We had a snack and drinks at the food hall before our table was ready. More drinks at the restaurant and also oysters. He said, I have to tell the waitress that this is my first time out, he was so happy. When we left the restaurant, he gasped and said, I love this song! And ran to the piazza to dance. He’s such a weirdo, but I can’t help but admire his confidence. I think we were both feeling good from the vibes of the night and the city. We walked back to my car and I’m looking in my bag for something and he says, “hey Jenn..” and pulls my face towards his and..
BAM, my hand flew over his mouth and I blurted “nope.”
ugh, what in the reflexes is wrong with me..
Is it just me or is Seattle toxic lately? I’m all the way here but news of stuff still reaches me, in my safe distance. People seem to be going through it. All the kids are depressed.
What’s up with all the bullying? The mean girls? Queen bs and bystanders?
Hearing about all this stuff unfolding is rough, especially watching it happen so unfairly. People’s insecurities show in the ugliest ways, and it’s hard to be collateral damage in that. Especially when Seattle can feel so small sometimes.
Sometimes the lack of kindness in the world can be appalling. At work the other day, I was on the phone talking to a patient we had just completed a big surgery on. Extracted all her upper teeth and placed implants for a fixed denture. She was a diabetic and diabetes can really affect your teeth. She was apologizing to me, saying I’m sorry my teeth were so bad. And I just said, please don’t apologize to me, you have nothing to be sorry for. We see this all the time, these things just happen, all we can do now is move forward. And she started crying. This isn’t meant to be a humbrag about how nice I am. (I’m not that nice, a different patient recently said I needed sensitivity training). What I said was literally the bare minimum because honestly managing diabetes is hard, that is a fact and literally all I was doing was acknowledging that. Yet it made her cry, because at some point, someone made her feel ashamed. Sigh. There have been a ton of monstrous patients lately and she was so nice to everyone, so it stood out to me and made me really sad.
I’ve been saying lately to people that the past year has really been one of re-evaluation of relationships, in my opinion. The stress of the situation of the world and the emotional toll it’s taken has really tested people and differences really start to show. Communication styles, personality types, opinions on needs vs. wants. I’ll never understand how difficult it was staying home for an extrovert. So it’s not easy for me to get why some people felt the need to continue partying during a pandemic. Everyone’s different but core values mean a lot to me. That’s what it boils down to when it comes to re-evaluation. Sometimes people aren’t who you thought they were. Re-evaluation for me meant taking a real hard examination of red flags in relationships and knowing when to let go. Pay attention to the vibes. There are differences, and then there’s key indicators of toxicity. And it takes a lot to know when to walk away, despite “the group”, despite wanting to be well liked, despite wanting to fit in. The ones who’s core values align with yours are the ones worth holding onto. There’s been so many relationships that have ended this past year.
California is ending all restrictions on the 15th, meaning courts will reopen. Meaning in person trials will resume. The thought of what’s to come is overwhelming and I don’t even know what’s going to be asked of me, if anything at all. It’s confusing. What’s fair? How much is too much, how much is not enough? I feel like I can’t breathe, like there’s a weight pressing on my chest and suffocating me.
Tell me how to stop loving someone. How do I stop hoping when I’m told things will never change? What do you do when you love them so much it makes you hate them. It’s breaking my heart. I thought that time and space would help to teach me to distance myself emotionally but I’m not sure I work that way.
I don’t think any of this makes any sense but that pretty much sums up where I’m at. “Some nights I can’t explain the way I feel, the way I’m wired, you make things seem so clear”. My writing game has been weak lately (obvs), but this was slightly cathartic to just stop trying to formulate full thoughts and just throw it out there. Someone else can try to make sense of the mess.
“Some nights I can’t explain the way I feel, the way I’m wired, you make things seem so clear” - Lights; Dabin
sam winchester pride
i have a new fic <3 hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
it’s s1 sam coming out to dean. was THIS close to making the ending sam ugly crying alone but even though dean Is like. microaggressions boy he’s not going to be a bitch about it all that’s out of character. i think he does try very hard to support sam. like he’s not an ally but probably because he doesn’t really know what an ally is.
anyway wtf am i even saying.
Sam has a headache. Dean comes by, ruffles his hair, slouches into the couch. Sam licks his lips, looking away from the screen. It has loud, bright cartoons on it and in the prickling sense of dread he’s carrying with him, the stimulation is too much.
Half of the headache is from a hard hit he took to the head, lingering pain. The other half is stress and dehydration. Unless beer counts as hydration, then in which- well, he’s covered. The screen of the television is cracked through; it’s playing Friends reruns.
He stands abruptly.
“Sammy, I swear to God, if you start pacing again-” Dean warns, throwing a pillow at him. Sam ducks it, somehow. His body takes up half the room. It’s hard to find space.
He can’t help it. His feet get itchy, his legs pull tight, and it’s nice. Nice, to put in his earphones and walk around for a little while. “I’ll go out to the parking lot, promise. I won’t bother you.”
He smiles slightly at Dean, but his brother isn’t much looking.
The parking lot of the motel has the sticky feeling underfoot of summer heat on asphalt, and sweat. The crumbling pollen and flowers from the trees have made his half-present allergies flare up. As a kid, Sam would have allergy seasons that ran out of sync with everyone else’s.
Go three years without a single cold, until one awful summer would come and he’d sneeze and sneeze and sneeze. He recalls: Oregon, in a rainy patch. It had been a relief to wash all the yellow pollen away with the weekly downpour. Another thing about Oregon, he’d had a best friend there. A girl.
Huh. He tries to tuck his smile away, but it comes through like the sun through clouds. Sam looks dumb, doesn’t he? Some goofball pacing around a parking lot and smiling to himself.
After about ten minutes, maybe more, his pace slows. The scenery is getting too humid. He wants to roll back into bed, into those cool sheets.
“Sammy? Is that you?”
Sam kicks his shoes off into the dirty corner. Dean’s left a bootprint on the floor there. If Sam was looking for a fight, he’d say something. “It’s me.”
“You got a call. Someone left a voicemail. For you.”
His voice is sharp, pounding hail on cement. “A call?” Sam replies dumbly.
Dean nods his head over to the answering machine. “I’ll put it on for you.”
Sam’s heart begins to slow to a rolling stretch of highway. The cars moving across it are few and far between and his breath is short and dangerous.
“Sammy?” The effusive warmth dies down after the nickname, realizing Dean’s heard it through. The voicemail, the nickname. “You gave me this number the other day. Outside the Jewel Osco?”
He laughs. It crackles over the phone in a friendly way. Friendly the way he kissed tiny little butterflies onto Sam’s collarbones, the way his house was cool in the summer night.
“I guess you’re a big-time developer and all so I’m not sure if you even care. But I have the jacket you left with me? The other night?”
He clears his throat. “If you want it back, you can drop by.” The voicemail ends.
“You leave your jacket at your friend’s house, Sammy? Come on, it’s just like you’re little again. You want me to pick it up for you?”
Sam realizes two things: Dean hasn’t caught what the message means, and Sam wishes he would have.
Sam has never been able to cry with dry eyes. He can’t hide the shaky undercurrent to his voice. His eyelids feel like cement but he keeps staring at Dean. A flush of fear is blooming high on his cheeks.
“Me and that guy, we’re not just friends. Or whatever.”
Sam went calling for information, at his house. Said he was a real estate developer, even though the back of his neck went red with the obvious lie. The suit was cheap and he was young. He’d gotten the information and then this guy, his name is Jude, had kissed him. Sam left the suit jacket there. He’s glad he’s getting it back, all things considered.
He still doesn’t know what possessed him to hand over his number after buying peanut butter and sandwich bread two days later. A crack in his self control, maybe.
“What do you mean…” Dean isn’t making jokes, at least. Sam squints hard at the floor. His head feels like a matchbox. Being struck over and over again. His headache is back, erupting with a vengeance.
“Sam, is it something- Dad did? Is it something I did? To make you, uh.”
Sam shakes his head, sighing deeply. He wants to be a bitch about it and spit out something sarcastic. “What do you think you could have done?”
Dean shakes his head. Murmurs, “I don’t know,” almost that Sam can’t hear him. “I guess you’re the type, though, Sammy.” Sam knows what he means by that. “As long as you don’t go around falling in love with some starry eyed dude. We still have to find Dad.”
“About that. Don’t tell him.” Sam pointedly raises his eyebrows. Dean doesn’t have a great record of choosing- choosing him, his secrets that he keeps tight in his fists. He doesn’t have a record of letting any opportunity to be a good son slip by.
“Sure, sure.” Dean frowns. “Hey, what about Jess? Did you lead some poor chick on up until-”
“Shut the fuck up.” Sam’s hands are suddenly shaking. Dean leans back. He’s not the shrinking type, his shoulders stay up and guarded. “I’m not gay, I’m- I’m something else. Both, you know?” The inside of his cheek is bitten raw, he can taste the fleshier bits coming alive.
“I don’t think that’s how it works, Sammy.”
The telling was easy; now it’s muddier. Sam wades in anyway. “Who here is the expert, you or me?” The sick dread has risen in his stomach and is now lapping at his sodden brain, pulling him under. It’s hot as hell out but he pulls the blankets over his legs.
“Sorry. Bad take.”
“I loved her-” Dean doesn’t like hearing about Jess and Sam cuts himself off.
“Never mind. I’m going to go get more beer.” Dean leaves.
Sam looks between the ugly green blankets, the TV still on, the white, unearthly light seeping in through every crack. When he told Jess, she lit up with it, went on to ask him questions, run her fingers through his shower-damp hair and let him talk.
Dean bursts through the door. “Sammy, I really do want to say- thank you for telling me. You wanna talk about it more, we can go get your girly coffee drink and we can talk about whatever.”
The aimless tears in Sam’s eyes finally come to the surface. “Oh, come on,” Sam groans. “You don’t have to act like I’m that-”
Dean interrupts him. “Here, Sammy. Here. The way I see it, you’re like Chandler Bing now.”
Sam blinks at him. “Dean, he’s not-”
“Well, maybe not in the show, but everyone knows he’s gay anyway. You’re like Chandler Bing. If you want to go with me and get a coffee, uh, tell me about the guy action you got at Stanford, I’ll be your Joey.”
Sam swipes the back of his hand across his eyes. If tears were blood he would look like a murder victim. Dean approaches him nervously. “Seriously.” He wrestles Sam into a tight hug, holding him for a long few minutes.
“Do we still have painkillers around? I have a headache.” The walls (brown wood and decades out of date) are no longer closing in on him under oppressive heat and thoughts of Jess. Dean isn’t mad. Just- just Dean.
Life returns to normal.
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Venting about COVID rescheduled reception
My husband and I rescheduled our big (around 200 person) reception for October 2nd (furthest out we could go, original date was Oct 3 2020 and we would forfeit our payment if more than a year out). But we had gotten attached to the date and got married anyway, only inviting our parents and my nana (the only surviving grandparent). It was sweet, small, perfect-we used my family beach house and after the ceremony went in our full wedding gear to pick up pizzas at our favorite watering hole (and got quite a reception-not only all the regulars clapping, but members of my dad's side of the family decided to stake out the place so they could cheer us on when we dropped by).
Now we have this big reception we have to keep planning and it's been so exhausting. My husband's sister in particular was super invasively asking if it was going to happen for sure or not for months, even though we obviously can't give her a 100% answer....turns out it was because she and her husband had decided they wanted to try for a baby that would be born right after our date...and they succeeded in getting pregnant and will now miss it. Meanwhile, his brother hads informed us it is just too inconvenient to bring his wife and their 4 kids out here (they live in the Midwest, we're in WA state) just for a reception. At first his claim was COVID makes it too hard (they refuse to get vaccinated and were apparently worried they'd be treated like lepers...as we told them, we just may need them to wear masks at times). Then it came out that they can't be bothered to haul car seats for the kids out just for this-and also the horror of pulling the oldest out of a couple days of second grade; she'll never catch up (interesting point: this particular brother also got married in October, but it wasn't an issue then, apparently). His dad is 100% on the brother's side on that, and I get it, but we are just asking for them to come to a party-not be here for a week of events, not to help us decorate or clean up the venue-all things we were expected to when we traveled to their weddings. We also have given 14 months notice (sent out save the dates back in August so everyone would know it was postponed). This will be the only time the siblings won't all be there for a wedding reception, and it's hurting my husband. I had 3 bridesmaids I asked and it appears that all of them may not make it either. Not that we're going to get remarried or do another ceremony....just would have been nice for support and pictures.
So it's like....now that our state is expected to be 100% open and it's on for sure...we are excited....but also not.
At this point the amount of stress his family has put on us is making us feel selfish for even throwing a reception, and deep down, that makes me angry because I don't think anyone should feel bad about inviting family and loved ones to a party to celebrate. We don't want to have kids, so this is it-the only big event that we're asking for their support on, and now half the family will miss it.
Thanks for letting me vent, and I take no offense if this was too long to read!
submitted by /u/lkatec
from one stop wedding sub! https://ift.tt/3vmcLaK
answer the 8 song prompts, then tag 8 people
@marcoofthemoon thank you for tagging me! I love these things especially when it’s music! Sorry for being slow but i kind of forgot it’s sitting in the drafts for a day.
Now i have no idea how to do spotyfy links and all that fancy stuff, so i’m giving into the fact that i count as old by internet standards so i’m making a youtube link to all of the songs below.
The funnly thing is somehow there isn’t like actual metal song on this list? Which is weird but at least anyone can safely listen to any of these without worry.
And sorry for the typoos, i’m way too lazy to reread it right now.
Also i put it under cut becasue it’s long
1. your favorite song at the moment
It’s a hard tie between For the Glory by All Good Things and Bulletproof by Godsmack
The past two weeks i can’t not listen to these. There are some ideas stuck in my head that may or may not lead to the rare event of me dabbling into fanfic writing territory. But don’t quote me on that. I have exactly one that’s publicly readable and i’m actively on the internet for ca.15 years now. But never say never yeah? Also these are really good songs. I mean really great songs!
2. a song you associate with your favorite ship
Centuries by Fall Out Boy
Nope, i’m not going to over explain it, take it as you will. It applies kind of half of the ships i like anyway.
3. a song that could be about you
Zzyzx Rd. by Stone Sour
I mean i could like write a 80k novel on this one but i really don’t feel like it. Also it’s relative from my perspective and there is like 10 other songs that might be closer than this but i’m not going to admit that to anyone especially myself. Let’s say this is about me in the past 5 or so years yea?
4. a song that you think is overrated
I’m ashamed to say i have no idea about music trends especially nowdays.. so i really don’t know? I mean i have to probably unpopular opinion of thinkig Billie Eilish in general is overrated but that’s probably just me?
5. a good song that reminds you of a good memory
Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
I know i know this is kind of seems weird but hear me out. There was a time i listened the crap out if this song because who doesn’t in my age? And there was one day when i was like what... around 12 or 13? God this is an old song.. i just looked up and it came out in 2004... Anyway there was a day when my father wasn’t home, thank fuck, my brother was at school or at least he was supposed to be there and i as per usual skipped it. I wasn’t feeling doing anything and non of my friends where skipping that day, so i just walked up to the local doc’s office, whom at this point was well aware that i’m am skipping school and i come by only not to worry my mom about the paprework at school. The doc was a good sport, i loved her. Didn’t pried about crap just gave me the signed paper that i was sic and that was it. So i got my papír and having no one to spend time with i decided to go home. I knew my father isn’t home so it seemed like a good idea. Now that day what i forgot that my mom had a day off from work she only whent for groceries but it was the same time when she usually went to work so it didn’t clicked. So when i arrived home like an hour after i just left you can guess how surprised i was finding my mom home. Anyway she was of course fussing over the fact that who it’s going to be verified at school that i wasn’t just skipping which i did but not the point right now but after i showed her that i already got it covered, she calmed down. I ended up helping her cleaning the house while listening to music as loud as we dared not to disturb the neighbours too much. And this was one of the songs and she liked it despite not knowing what the lyrics ment. I helped her translate it and she still liked it and it was a really nice day over all. Like.. it was one of those rare calm moments that just.. I don’t know. I could pretend that life could be good and i actually have a home instead of a disaster?
6. last song you listened to
Run This Town by JAY-Z (Feat. Rihanna, Kanye West)
This is a good song i don’t care what people say. And i kind of woke up today and remembered it. Like i don’t knooow i just like it okay?? You can judge me all you want for it but i’m stil going to listen the hell out of it.
7. a song that makes you laugh
Farm Song but the Corey Taylor cover I mean even he can’t keep a straight face while singing it. Listen to it, it is hilarious and it’s like... I’m fairly certain that there is no person on the planet who isn’t going to at least crack a smile listening to it. And es, the original is really close to this but i prefer Corey’s voice over anyone else’s
8. a song that you want your mutuals to listen to
On top of the world by Tim McMorris
If something, then this probably will uplift your spirit. Like.. this is just.. just click on it and listen, you will know what i mean. 😁 This is the best thing just kick off you day and do whatever like... JUST LISTEN TO IT TRUST ME YOU ARE NOT GOING TO REGRET IT !!!
Tag: Of course anyone who want's to share some songs, please feel free to do it! 😀 I don’t know who to tag anymore.. maybe @bored-already @ohfuckohfucknoplease @spellcasterdouxie and @sonofapunk? But no pressure! I mean i don’t even remember at this point who liked these and who didn’t so yeah.. sorry and feel free to ignore the tag if it’s not you thing!
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long day today for me! had a doctors appointment and then took a nap after because doctors appointments of any kind wear me out oops
nah i'm the youngest so that's why i'm always annoying her to not go to class lmao she's doing grad school from home rn
ewwwww business clothes. i know professionalism and all that but 🤮 let me wear casual clothes all the time please and thanks
shaving for societal standards? ew gross so 2000s. shaving for the aerodynamics? delicious big wrinkle brain moves
we assume he's a stray, he's got no collar and he seems to spend most of his days at our house💁🏽♀️ one time he left a dead mouse under my dads car so really this is his house now alskdkfk. we have a dog! i actually just crocheted her a little bandana and sun hat last night lmao she hates it but i love it😌☺️
omg yes that tire was messed up! im no professional driver but please it's so obviously not from debris. all the seb content was lovely this weekend i want more‼️🗣🗣
ew gross what happened to the avs😭 i stopped watching after the first period to watch the usa-mexico nationals league final which was a mess😳 each half had almost 10+ stoppage time AND went to extra time which also had like 10+ stoppage time. usmnt win tho which like ew but also yay for my bvb child gio reyna
beaten by the worst canadian team ever? embarrassing‼️ could not be me💁🏽♀️ i saw some vids of troy stetcher from that final game i think he's so funny to me💀 i watched one game of worlds (maybe it was international at least) and it was switzerland against idk who but my mom actually put it on and then spent the rest of the day looking at the watches of the brand that sponsored switzerland lmao (even tho we definitely cannot afford them but they're v nice to look at)
oh my god no alskdj imagine they just didn't clarify that tho😭 they'd have everyone think they're just stinky nasty boys hahahah i love it
not the mayweather-paul fight nooooo😩 why do they still allow him to do that like why can't we let the p*ul brothers just disappear into oblivion in utah or something (get them out of puerto rico literally no one wants them there). at least you got that nice walk def better than watching the avs hurt us😬😒
hope it's been a splendid day! acting like there's no hockey today at all because the only series today are cursed and ugly i do not want it😌
honestly I feel that so hard omg leaving the house for ANYTHING these days is Too Much but medical buildings have a special way of draining ur soul 😤 anyway bestie I hope it went well!!
Omg 😭 younger sibling solidarity fk yeah ❣️ tbh older siblings are too responsible :/ just drop out of school like wtf do u need grad school for :///
Right ? What does wearing running shoes or hoodies have to do w my ability to practice medicine :( let me be COMFYYY. Def need to find some nice scrubs tbh I don’t think I can live in dress pants and flats for the next two years
Honestly F1 teams need to get us onboard here we have so many good ideas. We could fix everyones facial hair to make them perform at their PEAK in F1 🤨
oh my gosh 😭 Walter loves you guys !!! Walter considers u family and leaves u presents !!!! Omg that’s so stinkin cute A SUN HAT A BANDANA ?! What kind of dog is she 🥺 all my besties have dogs and sometimes they make me a lil nervous but I love them all 🗣
oh my gosh right I really hope this is the AM resurgence … I wanna see some stroll podiums as well I lov heeeem my emotional support Canadian billionaire heir (he’s a h*bs fan but still) 🗣
KDHJDKS im so mad I missed that match it sounds like it was insane !!! Lmaoooo hahaha the us soccer teams like men and women strike such discomfort in my soul idrk why but I don’t trust them 🤨 it might just be the Canada v USA thing tbh but omg ur right gio is so sweet 😭 also him and t zegras (one of the ducklings) are friends which is so curious how do all these athletes FIND each other … imagine ur like 15 and u go to a high school for elite athletes or whatever tf and somehow u all end up playing at the highest level in ur respective sport :/ sounds fake but ok 😪
KDJDKDK he is so much I love him tho. He had a rlly sick pass for one of the ot winners in the tourney 🗣 kdjdkkd oh my gosh everything I hear about your mom as a sports fan is so Frickin funny plsss ✋🏽 yo Switzerland is So Boujee w everything they do it’s wild like they just seem expensive at baseline 😤 I like the random cars they put in the stands ahha
Literallt they’re just out here making a mockery of the sport and it’s allowed bc at the end of the day it draws in money 🥲 that’s why we do our part by watching that bullsh*t on illegal streams solely to clown them 😩🤠
Kshdksks I watched both hockey games bc I hate myself and like to suffer 🤩 at least br*ins lost at home, that’s always satisfying 💗 not the mf h*bs sweep lmfao I’m starting to think all the haters were right when they said the North is the weakest division 😩 jets catfished us all, paraded around masquerading as a good team … absolutely fraudulent. Also not the Oilers getting swept in the first round and then having to watch as the team that beat them got swept in the second round 🥲 someone check on mcjesus (and tell him to come to Toronto)
Hope u had a good day too bestie !! We made shawarma with lots of accoutrements for dinner (I made hummus !!! Delicious) and it was so nice.
Also here’s a pic of the first two strawberries from our garden hehe
The little stems and leaves are soooo perfect 😭
Take care love you!! 💗💗💗
How Ella lost 6 Stones, and found a new image!
I've always been fat. Well at least that's what I thought. Looking back at childhood pictures, I wasn't at all, so that's annoying!
My working week is so varied.
"So I walk and walk and walk and walk."
Some days I’m voicing cartoons or adverts, some days I’m doing audio books (Doctor Who “Wrath of the Iceni” with Tom Baker is out now if anyone’s a fan) or audio guides for the Tate and other museums, or I’m at a read through in front of piles of those evil buckets of “bites” trying not to eat them all day, or I’m filming on location in the middle of nowhere.
We’re hopeless at sitting down properly together for meals as everyone’s on different schedules and different food.
As far as daily life and meals go it’s all a bit erratic.
"In the old days I ate with whoever was eating so I’d pack in about 9 meals a day somehow."
While my son’s eating (I know it’s not ideal but it works for me) I sip at a highlights dark hot chocolate.
"Anyway you don’t need to be Jeremy Kyle to work out that I was searching for a cuddle in every last Caramac bar."
I have always been greedy though and after months and months of maintenance, I'm sorry to say that I didn't achieve some miraculous "change in behaviour".
I remember at boarding school scouring the kitchens for jars of Nutella and hiding in the huge metal cupboards eating until it hurt.
I went to a brilliant boarding school in Sussex when I was 7, while one set of parents (the foreign office ones) lived in Romania (then America, Hong Kong, Canada and a host of other countries) and the other (the ex actor) was in Saudi Arabia and then settled in Mallorca.
Once I’ve packed him off, if I’m not en route somewhere, then I’ll come home and have my breakfast about 9am in lovely peace and quiet.
When filming that’s the absolute worst.
So back to today, I’m a working actress (acting name is Ella Kenion if you’d like to google and see just how fat I was) and mother of one lively four year old boy and house-wife to a very hard working fella who leaves at silly o clock and returns after our son’s gone to sleep.
"Then my career was ticking along nicely with larger roles (as in roles for larger women sadly not particularly large roles!)
Try Weight Loss Resources' Tools for Yourself If you’re fed up of wanting to lose weight and doing nothing about it, then use the tools and resources from Weight Loss Resources to get started.
Finally GOOD LUCK, please don’t give up.
My husband has eaten and gone by 6am, my son has rounds and rounds of toast (I give him olive spread as I’m not yet strong enough to have butter in the house – it may take some time!)
What has been your main motivation to lose weight?
I just can’t sit still.
I can remember in the holidays, stealing boxes and boxes of the After Eights that we had for visiting dignitaries (not Ferrero Rocher as the ads suggest) and ploughing through them in the middle of the night hiding the boxes under my bed.
Experienced a weight loss plateau?
I know it sounds a bit odd but half an iceberg lettuce doesn’t half bulk up Glorious!
If it’s a voice over day there are bowls of chocolates and sweets in the reception areas of the studios.
It’s ok while I wait because I know that it’ll make my voice sound horrible if I eat before voicing but when I come out afterwards I struggle every time not to take a handful.
BUT YOU CAN STILL LOSE WEIGHT!
I love looking at my graph too.
I have come to the realisation that I will always want more food than I need but I am learning to accept this and do the exercise to compensate or in most instances just buck up and say, "no thank you".
Our breath was odious and the minute I ate all food groups again, surprise surprise I got fatter and then fatter.
If two thirds of your plate is green, you’re going to have a wonderful meal.
I intend to be on this site for a very long time, feel free to message me or follow me on twitter @EllaKenion
I’ve lost that awful fat back.
He’s got loads of my friends off cigarettes and certainly I’ve found the positive thinking and hypnosis really rewarding.
Have you struggled at points in your weight loss journey?
Then in addition to that mid morning and mid afternoon they come round with sandwiches and chocolate bars, anything and everything to keep you going.
"It was only when a particularly ferocious infestation of cockroaches plagued my bedroom that Mum found them and I was in serious trouble."
But then I get weeks where it’s quiet and I like to book in every Pilates, Zumba, aqua aerobics and bodytone class going to make up for the working weeks’ damage.
There are healthy ready meals too by the way for when you’re desperate and if you’ve a few extra pennies that month.
Every waking moment revolved around how to spend my pocket money in the tuck shop.
If they don’t say the right thing, your body will thank you for moving!
If I’m having a bad day I’ll look back at all the facts and figures and particularly my journal."
Some good trainers for walking and dance trainers for Zumba Why do you think WLR has helped you lose weight where other diets have failed?
A heartfelt chat when you’ve lost your mojo is brilliant, particularly if done on the move in the park or somewhere.
Three huge meals on offer from the catering truck every day, including gorgeous cooked breakfasts when you’ve been up since 5am and you’re tired it’s so hard to resist.
The time’s going to pass anyway."
Low cal favourites: I love Highlights dark hot chocolate drink; sugar free jelly; philli light (garlic and herb) on Carr’s water biscuits; apple with thin spread of peanut butter; almonds; edamame (the nuts from M and S); mini Twister lollies; toast with marmite (no butter) and a poached egg – ooh I could go on forever and I’m getting really hungry thinking about this – aaagh!
I only needed to stand on scales in front of other people once to know I’d never be doing that again.
My main motivation has to be to live longer for my family.
I am hopeless at cooking and I’ve an aversion to ready meals now but I can still throw together healthy bits and pieces.
If you want me to show you the supplement that helped me lose weight,
CLICK THE LINK ► ► ►https://linktr.ee/moorlegacy
OR ► ► ► https://bit.ly/3ghpg1V
#weightlossbeforeandafter #weight loss before and after
#fitness motivation #fitness #gym motivation
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Hello! This is kind of a long request and well- Hopefully you’re fine with doing temporary Body Swap. :>
So basically Bakugou and his Male S/O are pro heroes and when out on a mission, they both get hit by a villain who has a swap quirk. Basically, they just swapped bodies. (Y/n is in Bakugou’s body and Bakugou is in Y/n’s body, they basically just switched minds.) They are told by the other pro heroes that the two should go home and take the day off. Unfortunately, nobody knows how long the quirk effect will stay, but they were convinced it was only temporary. So the two go back to their shared apartment and the day goes on pretty normal- besides the fact that, you know, they’ve swapped bodies. Though later Y/n gets a bit of an idea. What if he were to f*ck Bakugou in this body? The thought seemed kinda strange at first since he would literally be f*cking his own body, but he couldn’t deny that the thought was turning him on. Especially wanting to see Bakugou’s reaction. So, he basically handcuffs Bakugou to prevent him from struggling and.. while in the middle of doing it, something happens.. Shit! Why did it have to happen now?? Y/n panics in his head as he realizes they just swapped bodies again, and he is now at the mercy of Bakugou Katsuki himself..
I actually sent a request kinda similar to this to someone else but it was a while ago and they haven’t responded so they may not have liked it, or it just didn’t arrive. And sorry for choosing Bakugou again, you just may be able to figure out who my favorite character is.. Sorry for my rambling.
If you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine. Anyways, have a good day/night, man!
in his shoes (nsfw) bakugou x reader
warnings: body swapping during sex, bottom and top reader+bakugou, selfcest (?), degrading, bratty behavior, claimming and possesive themes, bondage (handcuffs)
a/n: i really like this concept and i will write it don't worry 😎👍 i usually write all of my requests anyways. im also sorry this took literally 5 years.
katsuki bakugou and y/n bakugou. the two of you have been married for 2 years now after you guys started working as heroes. you both went to UA and graduated at the top of the class. neither of you had time for love or romance resulting in neither of you confessing you feelings for each other. gladly, things managed to work out in the end.
"he's on it again, i need the bakugous here right now."
hearing the police force requesting your assistance, you and your husband show up on the case. it turned out to be the villain that the two of you couldn't capture the last time during patrol.
"HEH?! look y/n, it's this motherfucker again. what's up with this loser, coming back every time it's annoying."
"play nice now katsuki, let's just go and restrain him and let the police take care of the rest."
the two of you move quickly to match the villain's rapid movements. katsuki flew around using his quirk to attempt to catch him but failed. the villain was surprisingly agile and you guys had a tough time trying to chase him down.
after around half an hour of chasing you finally cornered the villain on top of a tall building in the middle of the city that was still in construction. the ground was hard to walk on and somewhat unstable but you managed to find your balance.
"alright, give it up, you've got nowhere to run now.
"what he said, stop resisting and i won't blow your face off."
the villain's expression turned to fear as you started to close up on him. out of panic, he used his quirk. it was a small beam that didn't hurt at all. however, after a few seconds your body started to heat up, you looked over to katsuki and you could tell he was feeling the same. what was happening?
seeing the two of you struggling, the villain quickly left the scene but he had trouble moving around due to his surroundings. his movements were also somewhat impaired due to fatigue. it was most likely the aftereffect of his quirk which was why he was pretty reluctant in using it.
the strange feeling in your chest wouldn't go away and your vision started to blur. next thing you know you woke up on top of the same building to see yourself lying next to you. was his quirk duplication? no it couldn't have been. you tried to stand up but felt the weight of some heavy armor dragging you down. you look down to see yourself wearing katsuki's hero costume and his gauntlet. still in awe, you heard a groan in your own voice next to you.
"shit… wtf happened, y/n where are you where-"
it didn't take long for your husband to find out what happened.
the two of you have switched bodies.
you both tried to explain to the police who's who but it only ended in confusion. you went home with your husband after they put the two of you on break for "damaged mental" from the villain because the majority of the police thought you guys were crazy.
there weren't any cases similar to body switching between heros before so the doctor said there's nothing that can be done other than attempting to wait off the effect. so there you were, in your husband's body, cooking dinner for the man while you saw your own body lazily sitting on the couch with your legs spread open watching the tv.
life went as normal for the next two days, since you two were both males there weren't any problems whatsoever. however, one day a thought flew into your mind while taking a nap with katsuki. since he was the one who would usually top, now that you're in his body wouldn't it technically mean you get to top?
physically you would be using your boyfriend's body to fuck yourself. but the thought of the all mighty bakugou katsuki taking his own dick, his bratty attitude, and lastly breaking him and making him fall apart by your touch aroused you in an indescribable way. you knew katsuki wouldn't agree to this due to his prideful personality so you had to take other measures to carry out your plan.
you and kastuki had all sorts of toys laying around and you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine with them. while he wasn't looking you grabbed the vibrator, handcuffs, and blindfolds and put them all on the nightstand. now that everything is in place, all you have to do is wait to catch katsuki off guard tonight when he gets tired.
later tonight, after finishing dinner, katsuki was yet again sitting casually again on the couch watching tv, not giving a single care to the world.
"come with me for a second? i want to show you something!" you said with a sly grin on your face
katsuki didn't care enough to talk back, neither did he think this could lead to the ill intentions you had with him tonight. following you into the bedroom, you gestured katsuki to sit down on the bed. he obeyed although he began to have a suspicion of what you're about to do. using your new body, you abused katsuki's strong muscle and speed to restrain your own body with the handcuffs you prepare. there was no way for katuski to fight back in this situation because your body was simply not built enough to resist his.
"h-huh? what are you doing dumbass…if you're joking s-stop it now, it's not funny."
"oh i am very serious katsuki, now that i'm inside your body. i am going to fuck your brains out. i'm gonna thrust that bratty attitude of yours right out the window."
hearing you say that, your husband looked away to avert his eyes while you heard a small gulp coming from his throat. you could tell he was nervous and that's exactly what you wanted. katsuki has never bottomed in his life before and he does plan on doing so either.
finally having katsuki in your grasp, you decided to carry on with your plan. you put on the blindfold for him as he jolted in surprise. katsuki tried to get out of the handcuffs but later found his attempt futile. these were the toys he used for you too and he out of everyone should know it's impossible to get out of them. once your husband stopped moving you gentlt took off his pants, leaving him exposed wearing only your boxers with an erection under it.
"aww katsuki~ already hard and i haven't even done anything yet, maybe you're better off being the bottom hm?" you teased
"s-shut up you shit head, just get on with it, whatever evil plan you have in store for tonight…"
"no need to rush katsuki" you said as you entered his asshole with 2 of your fingers, loosening him up for the vibrator.
"we have the entire night."
you heard your own voice whimper as you explored more with your fingers. soon enough it was time to put the other toy in. your fingers left for a bit preparing the vibrator, leaving bakugou panting from the pleasure and clenching his hole around well, nothing. you turned on the vibrator and katsuki immediately noticed the familiar sound of what's in your hands.
"o-oi y/n, don't put it in here, i-i won't be able to take it."
"oh i'm sure you can~ you made me do it plenty of times, why can't the big and strong bakugou katsuki do it?"
without mercy, you put in the vibrator quickly and let the show play out. katsuki was moaning and groaning while you stroked your own cock enjoying the view. katuski's cock was bigger than yours and you weren't used to jacking off such a big dick but it was a nice first.
seeing a wet spot forming on katsuki's underwear, you knew he was ready to go. you took off katsuki's underwear to see the precum leaking from it, so much it looked like he was about to cum any second now. next, you took out the vibrator and started to spread some lube on your cock. you positioned yourself on top of the katsuki and teased his pink hole with your huge cock.
"what do good boys say katsuki~?"
"tch! i'm not saying it, y-you sadistic fuck."
you slapped katsuki's ass so loud that the neighbors probably could've heard you.
"i'm the one in control right now, you listen to what i say, understood?"
"f-fine, jesus christ! p-please y/n, put it inside me…"
"that's a good boy…"
after you fit ¾ of your cock in katsuki was already panting heavily trying to catch his breath. it reached his prostate you leaned down on his chest to bite on his nipples to make him feel even better. his hole clenched on your hole so tight you were barely able to move your cock around. you continued to make thrusts and sped them up each time.
during your thrusts you suddenly felt the weird feeling when fighting the villain again. both you and bakugou's body started to burn up but it wasn't as painful as it was last time. next thing you know everything was pitch black. you felt a piece of black cloth on top of your eyes and a familiar size inside your ass. it didn't take you long to realize that you and bakugou finally switched back.
you were glad to be back in your own body but why did it have to happen now?! out of all the times it could've happened this was no doubt the worst possible timing. you just teased the crap out of bakugou and now that he's in control again he can take his revenge right here, right now.
"oh? would you look at that…our bodies switched back…" you couldn't see katsuki say this but you could already tell the evil smile on his face.
"k-katsuki i'm sorry, i didn't mean to tease you that hard i was just trying to have some fun y-y'know." you desperately tried to explain.
"too late now baby boy… bad boys get punished for what they did. now… get ready, for the night of your fucking life."
regret, nothing but regret. bakugou was already an aggressive person when it comes to sex, now that you pissed him off even more you weren't prepared for what he was about to do to you.
without warning, katsuki pulled back his hips and thrusted into you harder than ever. you took his entire length right away and the full feeling in your ass was too overwhelming for you to handle. you started to blabber nonsense, unable to form words due to the pleasure.
"c'mon baby… gotta speak up if you want me to understand you." bakugou said knowing damn well you can't talk back.
incoherent moans and groans escaped from your mouth as you felt dry orgasms again and again from katsuki reaching your prostate. you were on the verge of passing out till you saw your husband's panting just as hard as you. you could tell he was very close as well. you tried your best to stay conscious and cum with your husbands.
katsuki let out a loud moan as he cummed inside you. you reached your orgasm too cumming all over yourself. katsuki licked up the cum on your stomach as you slipped into sweet unconsciousness. he gave you a warm smile and patted your head as he took you into his arms and fell asleep with you.
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June 4, 2021
[June 3, 2021]
Oof okay so first of all I wrote out a pretty long tumblr post that I’ve just about scared myself into not posting. It might come out later this week? It’s another one of those unstructured, barely comprehensible essay-like entries. @/Future!Nina, take a guess on what the main topic is lol (and if you’re reading through these... I cannot bring myself to recommend that you read that post. as a matter of fact, skip it altogether,, thank (I assure you, there is nothing to learn about my current mental state in that entry. It’s just me talking in circles. Starts out, you think there’s going to be a plan, but there is no plan, I just keep going though)). The plan had been to post it yesterday, then today, but ehhhhhh. I keep going back in to edit and add and remove.
Anyway I got my floral fake tattoos!! I put a few of them on last night (one on my wrist, one next to my collarbone, and one on the back of my shoulder) and the one on my wrist is already, like 1/4 rubbed off lol. Lowkeyyyy kinda feelin pretty swanky tho. Can’t wait to do my sleeve!
Meant to post that yesterday, but it’s okay! Updates: the long essay thing will probably be posted some other time soon idk. Most of the tattoos had rubbed off so I just went and took them all off. Sleeve up next sometime soon!
Okay! Today was a really cool day!! This was a really cool week!!!!!
So I started by watching Critical Role C2E140 with my dnd-friend over the course of Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons, then we watched the first half of e141 (the c2 finale!!!!!) live on Thursday night and the second half during the rebroadcast today. It was a total of 7 hours and 15 minutes and it was all so great and I loved the ending a lot. I’m really really glad I got to watch it live with my dnd-friend. Definitely one of our best ideas yet. Hopefully C3(!!) starts during the summer so we could at least watch e1 together, but not at the expense of Matt feeling like he needs to rush out an all new campaign or the other cast members feeling like they need to move on so quickly from characters they’ve known and loved for three years. A bittersweet ending, but emphasis on the sweet because [spoilers] THEY TOOK DOWN ICKY THONG AND IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.
Then directly after watching the end of the rebroadcast, I decided to join the Discord group for a powerpoint night where of course I put a ton of effort into what very well could have been a low-effort thing, but I had a ton of fun making it super special and it seemed like everyone enjoyed it! (Also,,, everyone else’s were so much fun? 11/10 do want to powerpoint again) Then we just chatted for two hours or so and screwed around with Zoom filters (Discord’s screenshare is a bit less robust) which was also fun!
So, yeah. Yeah. We’ll get back. I’ll make it back. I’m not going to scrutinize what I did because there was no visual indication that I did anything wrong, much the opposite, actually.
So, as far as social encounters for the week: extremely positive!!
Also! Tried out my AirPods over the past few days and they’re a joy I tell ya. No more shall I feel as though I want to break a plate every time my headphone wires get caught on a handle somewhere. I am free. Now I need to find a nice case for them lol.
Finally, finished out my first week of my internship, and wow.
Alright. I’m going to come out and say it: a huge part of me is upset that I’m not in [redacted: major US city] for the internship this summer. It legitimately sucks. I am actually super unhappy over it, and I don’t want to pretend or ever give off the impression that this situation is in any way fine by me.
Found out the statistics for the program overall: 500 applicants for ~20 spots. Inflated my ego, that did.
Anyway, on Thursday (yesterday), I had separate lecture meetings with my two project leads, and I felt so in my element???? Like, with the Male PI, I got a lecture (somewhat interactive) which was mostly a reintroduction to hominins and bipedal anatomy stuff which I’m super into already, and the Female PI lectured me on anatomical terms as well as some specific stuff about bone structure and bipedal musculature and that was also building on some stuff I’d learned almost two years ago now, so it was nice to have a refresher.
Then today, I (well, first, there was an introductory session about the graduate school which was hosted by the dean for all the program participants and it actually sounds kinda cool lol) had a meeting with both PIs and we talked a bit more about the project in-depth and our next steps and such. We skimmed some papers about the subject matter and they mentioned that if we (I) were able to complete enough, I would almost definitely be able to publish a paper on it which would probably be cited a ton and I really had to keep my excitement in check about that because, I mean, WHAT that is so COOL?! ALSO they then were like “yeah and if all goes really well, maybe we can bring you out to the big professional conference next year and you could present the findings there :)” LIKE AHHHHH!!! THE WAY MY RESUME WOULD BE BUILT??
but but but but but but but I gotta get through the next nine weeks first. I’m excited though, like way more excited. I mean, take away all the stuff about publication and presentation and the conference which was all mentioned to me at the very end of the meeting, because that only increased my excitement. I was excited by the way they were describing why the research I was going to be doing was important. I was excited by the fact that a ton of the stuff I’d learned in my 200-level bio and anth classes were actually super applicable to the lectures from yesterday. I was excited because I felt like I was in my element. Like I was learning cool things and would be able to apply cool things and I would be gaining to many skills and so much knowledge and they were like “haha by the end of the summer you’ll be able to look at a bone and say exactly which carnivore it came from won’t that be fun?” and I had to keep myself from screaming and smiling real wide because like, yeah??? NICHE KNOWLEDGE IS MY THING AHHHHH!!
The fact that I might co-author a paper and present on it was just the icing on the cake.
Never felt that way when thinking about pharmacy or biochemistry lol.
I am so glad to be-- hold up.
Today I’m thankful that I changed my major. Remember back in Fall 2019 where I was all “Imma get me this degree and everyone will know how smart I am if it kills me”? Yeah. Glad I’m out of there bro. I’m right where I need to be.
Character development for the win!!
I’m also thankful (bonus thank!! lots of these to go around recently, apparently lol) that my PIs actually are super nice and supportive and are willing to take all of my questions and are providing so many resources for me to be successful?? Ugh I can only dream of having a PhD advisior so supportive.
Oh, oh! Also thankful (...double bonus thank??) for my AirPods. Got them as a gift to myself for getting through my sophomore year, my fourth semester of college, these past few months of awfulness.
Now I need to get out this dang room once in a while, and I’ll be set to go. And maybe I should eat a sandwich. Actually Imma grab me a personal pizza bc I ain’t eaten all day lol cept some Ritz crackers and a banana.
TW! panic attacks, slight mentions of suic*de, flashbacks
//I started writing this as a comfort for myself but it turned into something actually pretty cool! Please please tell me your thoughts on it! I’ll be making a part two soon!//
His body was shaking. His mind racing with thoughts. Hands gripped at his hair as he brought his knees to his chest and balled his body up. Shaky breaths escaped his lips as he clenched his eyes shut. But even with closed eyes, he still saw the horrors flash before him. Dream’s fists flying towards his face, the sword going though his brother’s body after his home was destroyed, the feeling of being so alone in exile. Eveything.
Desperately he wanted someone to be there and help him. But no one showed. Desperately he wanted the feeling of a home when he was in L’Manberg. But he knew he would never get that back. Not since Wilbur died. He could care less about the Wilbur that had been revived. He’d seen what monster the man had become when he was stuck in the black void doing nothing but playing Solitare with one of his now worst enemies. He wanted Ghostbur back. He wanted to go see Ghostbur. To finally find comfort in something. To finally have a home.
But alas that wouldn’t happen. So he pushed himself to wipe his eyes which were now red and puffy. His breath steadied forcefully and he got up, brushing his legs of the dirt. Suddenly he realized where he was. He scrambled up and flipped his head upwards. His watchtower. Which meant the prison was right next to him... He peeked around the corner and not to his surprise, but still to his horror, the prison hadn’t moved and was still holding his murderer.
He began to run. He ran as far as he could, until his legs gave out. He must’ve ran for miles. The land was unrecognizable when he stopped running, well more or less when his legs gave out from underneath him. He was probably the first there. He didn’t want to move. He wanted to lay there. Night was approaching quickly, but he had no motivation to find safety. He could hear the growls from zombies, but none had spotted him yet. He only lay there and watched as the stars began to fall upon the sky like a blanket.
Then sleep fell upon him like a blanket.
He was sure that he slept forever, since when he woke up it was raining. His clothes were soaked but he finally found the motivation to get up. He was sore, but dragged himself to the trees to hide from the rain. Once under a large oak, he made a campfire and sat down beside it. Warmth flooded over his body as he felt the heat from the fire. It wasn’t comforting though. He hadn’t felt comfort in quite some time. It was just warm. Just a tempature. Just something he did to survive.
His clothes had dried partially, so he packed up after eating some steak he had found in his bag. He got up and pushed his legs further. Exhausted, he continued to walk for miles. He didn’t know where he was walking to, just that he was getting away. It wasn’t his plan to run off, but he found himself doing it anyway. It wasn’t like anyone would care if he went missing. He was the problem child in everyone’s eyes. So he ran off.
Eventually, after weeks worth of walking, he found himself a nice grassy area. It was near a village so he could trade if he needed. There was a tree that homed a beehive and coincidentally, the flowers that the bees loved was a patch of Alliums. He smiled. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.
He began to work, wood planks being put down, logs, and other materials that went in to making a small cottage. He made a nice house for himself, for the first time in ages he was proud of himself.
Months passed by, he was sure that it had been at least half a year. Finally, he had felt the emotion that he had forgotten so long ago. He was happy. He was content. Sure he missed his friends but being away took the pressure of eveything off. He was free.
...that was until a soft knock sounded on his door one day.
He sighed. It might’ve been one of the villagers offering a trade. So he got up to see what the villager had in stock. He oppened up the door and the figure immediately began to speak.
“Hello, have you see-” the figure stoped speaking, in shock of the person in the doorway. “Tommy...?”
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Yesterday was our 2 year wedding anniversary so my husband took a half day off work and we went to a garden and took some DIY maternity photos! We got so many great pictures that I’m so grateful to have, and I’m really glad we didn’t spend the money on a professional photoshoot because a lot of the ones we got honestly look pretty professional. (We decided to save that money so we could splurge on professional photos this fall after baby is born!)
I’m also at the point where I can’t tell if my mood swings are pregnancy-related or if I’m just a moody person honestly, but yesterday started out pretty miserable because we went to a park initially and I stepped in a giant puddle of mud and my shoes got covered in it, and then I basically just shut down and didn’t want to do anything because I was so upset about my shoes being ruined. I really don’t want to be the type of person who’s day is ruined by muddy shoes, but I feel like I am that person, and I really hate it. Again I don’t even know if I can blame pregnancy hormones or if it’s just me, and I’m really trying to be better but it’s just hard. Then I started having Braxton Hicks and the place was really crowded anyway so we literally left after 5 minutes and it was really upsetting and disappointing. When we got home I just got into bed and was too depressed and upset to want to do anything else. But after a little while I forced myself to pull out of it, we found a different place to go and we went out again and ended up having a really nice afternoon. My husband also cleaned my shoes so while they’re not perfect, they’re definitely not totally ruined anymore.
My symptoms lately have been mostly hot flashes and feeling hot all the time, occasional painless Braxton Hicks, reflux, headaches, and just brutal exhaustion. I’ve noticed too that the Braxton Hicks have been almost always followed by a hot flash, they seem to go hand in hand like that. It’s all been a little more bearable the past few days actually but I really think that’s hugely due to the fact that the weather has been much more temperate, in the 50s-70s. Once it goes back up to 90s in a couple days, I have a feeling I’m going to start feeling even worse again.
Baby also has been getting so big and strong, I’ve heard a lot of people say that their movements get weaker in the third trimester but that definitely has not been true for us, he seems to just be getting stronger and stronger every day. His stretches especially are very painful sometimes. Last night when I was trying to go to sleep, he stretched so big and pushed his foot into my stomach below my belly button, and he was pushing so hard that it really felt like he was going to tear open my stomach. I literally yelped out in pain and woke up my poor husband! That spot on my stomach is still sore today when I touch it. It is just unfathomable to me that he is this strong, and honestly as painful as it is, I’m mostly just proud and impressed with him!
Our due date is 2 months from tomorrow, so we are really in the homestretch to meeting this little guy! I am at the point where I’m starting to get really anxious about labor and delivery. Every day I feel like it hits me again that I actually am going to have to give birth in a couple months. I’ve wanted this for so long and had so much time to prepare for it, but I really don’t think I am ever going to be prepared to go through that. I’m so excited to meet my son and to be done being pregnant, but I’m terrified of labor. It’s also very bittersweet knowing that I get to meet him soon but that that also means I’ll never be pregnant with him again so I’m cherishing every moment that I spend growing him, feeling his kicks, and having him all to myself.
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To my THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY,
his the love of my life I chose to let go... And letting go was not the best choice for me.
I met him when I was 18 years old. I was trying to mend my half broken heart and convince my young self that I loved my ex boyfriend. But I'm not. Anyway I met this guy older than me, we exchanged number then we became friends. This guy was new to me because I never dated someone older than me. And he just got out of a serious relationship by the way. I got curious about him. Is he the Right guy for me? Is he? Or Im just dreaming? Later on I fell in love with him. I thought the feelings was mutual.. hello!!! We're doing this like we're bf and gf.. but for him I'm not good enough. On one of our dates he told me that if his given a choice to have a girl friend it would be me! But why now?? He told me that his wasn't yet ready and let's enjoy what we have. When I went home I realized that this is not what I signed for infact this is not what I want. I started questioning myself, what's wrong with me? Am I not pretty? What's wrong?! Then I erased his number and move on. Like I always do. I didn't text him or even look at him. Then I started dating other guy. The new guy was so good to me.. he likes me, he love me, he adores me. Our relationship was okey! I love him.. then one night when I got home I saw him again.. he said he wanted to talk. I said okey I can do that. He begun saying sorry to me. That after I move on he told his mom about me. That he and I had something and he wanted to make it right.. he wanted me. He wanted me to be his girlfriend. I told him that it was nice to know that he told his mom about me but... I'm with someone else... He told me to leave my boyfriend for him so we can finally have our love story. Then with out saying anything I went home.. first thing that came into my mind was my boyfriend I don't what to hurt him. He gave me that one thing that my old guy didn't gave me.. what should I do? I love them both. Then my best friend told me that I can love them both but one is more than the other. Then my boyfriend texted me. That his letting go of me. And he doesn't want to give me a burden of choosing because I might end up not choosing him. I cried! Because I'm trying to convince my self that I really move on and that I love him. Then my old guy and I are officially on a relationship. Everything was alright. Everyday we see each other, we talked, we laughed.. he became the center of my world. Then issues begun to surfaces. He wanted me to change for him, he wanted me to follow every rules, I have to be home on time, call him on time... Our ages difference was the big factor of most of our fights. But I love him so much that I still hold on to him.. because I want what we have. I want this... I want this to work. He stared giving me cold shoulders. He doesn't talk to me. He started making plans for him self. Then one day.. I was talking to his cousin. She told me that I should let go.. I asked why?? She said that he started seeing this girl and his family knew about her. What???? What did she say?? Am I hearing this Right?? ..I went home I cry my ass off. It was so painful that I couldn't feel my heart anymore. I love him so much that I even leave the one that loves me. I guess that's karma.
We finally decide to talk. I asked him if it's true about that girl and he said loudly yes!!! I asked him how? Why ? When? And other questions.. but he just tell me to let go and move on. Really?? After all this time!! That the only thing that you can told me you bastard! But I came to realize I lost the fight and his right.. there's nothing left for me but to turn my back and move on. It's hard but I know i can do this.
After 2 months I feel better the pain was definitely there but I can smile now, I can laugh without tears pouring down my face And I can see him everyday with thoughts in my head that I can do this. I know his happy and that's fine. I started seeing this guy. His my friend and he knows me better than myself. He knows what I'm going through. My pain ,my hang ups, my reservation. We came closer and closer. Heloves me more than anyone.
After 5 months I got a message from a familiar person. If he can talk to me. It's important. Then I said yes we can talk.
He told me he was sorry about what happened to us and he doesn't want to hurt me. He still love me. And he want me back. I told him this.. you know I loved you much that I changed myself for you. You know that you are my life and happiness but you choose to hurt me. You chose her because you think that being with her was the right thing to do that I was your mistake. You made me believe that what we had was something I wanted for a long time, that you want to end up with me. You hurt me.. you made me cry.. I still love you that I really want to be with you. I still want you .. I still want this.. but I love myself.. I want to be there for you Everytime you want to comeback.. but until when? Until you met the right one? Until you hurt me that I can survive from the pain? Until when... You can love me the way I love you because you wanted more than I can give. You're asking to much from me and I can't give you more because I already given you everything. I have nothing left for myself because Everytime you asked for one thing you expect me to give 100 things and I can deal with that anymore. I want you to be happy and at the same time I also want to be happy. So I'm saying no this time.. I'm letting you go.
Then that's it!!
But until now that Im have my own family I still feel the pain.. I still feel the love. Because his the only person that hurt me the most but teach me the most. That I cant always have what I want. I love him because he let me feel good.. and he makes me happy. And I wouldnt asked for more. I might not have him for the rest of my life but I can treasure all the memories we once shared. All the lesson and learning that I learn from him.
To you, you know who you are.. I want to say thank you for making me strong. For teaching me about life and love. For introducing god to me. And for making me happy . I know we have our differences .. we hurt each other .. we made mistake but it doesn't define how special you are to me and how special our past was. I'm happy for you and I will continue to remember all the happy memories we had. Thank you!
just this once pt.2
a/n: hey babes, so uhhhhh this got too long for just 2 parts so... yall get 3! happy birthday!
Word Count: 2,088
Warnings: mentions of smut, implications to cheating, mention of injuries
Pairing: Natasha x Reader
There was no easy way to deal with everything going on in Natasha’s head. Not only did she remember every detail from her night with you, but she had to pretend like it had never happened whenever she was with Maria. Maria, who was now her fiancée, who had no clue that Natasha had willingly and eagerly gotten fucked by you when she was just a few rooms away.
How could she have said “no” to a marriage proposal when she was the only one who knew about the infidelity?
But Natasha could barely even look at Maria without feeling like her heart had been thrown into a blender while her stomach tried to jump out of her throat. There was no explanation she could give that wouldn’t sound awful, and she couldn’t lose Maria. She couldn’t.
When she needed to get away, her feet often led her to the one place she had visited so many times in the past. Down the elevator to the fifth floor below ground, straight down the hall until she hit the third left, down to the second door on the right. The door code was 1960; the year SHIELD made the discovery. It took 2.3 seconds for the door to unlock and Natasha to walk in.
Natasha rarely found you in your suite after the… incident. In fact, she rarely found you at all. The moon pool in the left half of the suite was empty, no signs of you or your recent presence. No wet footprints on the floor, no scales on the unmade bed, no half-used bottles of moisturising gel on every surface in the suite. Nothing.
She wasn’t sure if she liked that or not.
But whether you were there or not, she still found comfort in the space. The sounds of the water in the moon pool and the small waterfall right above it, the mesmerising view of the seascape and wildlife you kept safe, the smell of tea going cold in a forgotten cup. It was a comfortable space, one Natasha had always sought out in her time of need.
At least once a day, she found herself sitting at your table, putting her feet in the moon pool, making herself a cup of tea. It didn’t matter what she did, she just needed that comfort. She couldn’t get it with Maria, not anymore, not after she had fucked up.
She needed to tell Maria.
Even if it meant she lost one of the only people she had ever loved.
That opportunity came far too soon.
Another quick mission, another debriefing, and Natasha found herself back in her room with Maria patching up a few small cuts. Nothing serious, because it never was; not to Natasha, at least. But the gentleness in Maria’s touch, the care and comfort that went into it was enough to set all of Natasha’s nerves on fire.
She just couldn’t take it anymore.
“I need to tell you something,” she blurted out so uncharacteristically that even Maria stilled. There was an uncomfortably long moment of silence.
“I actually had something I wanted to say as well.”
Just the possibility that Maria knew what had happened was enough to make Natasha’s skin crawl. Maria’s fingers on her skin were too soft, too gentle, it was painful. The kind of pain that made her want to jump off the top of the nearest building just to make it stop. She wanted it to stop.
“You first,” Natasha said, slowly, deliberately. She always did prefer to be on the defensive anyway.
“Do you remember the dive from a few weeks ago?”
“Yes.” There was a lump in her throat.
“Well, we did some research on that plant Y/N found. The one that covered them in ink?” Her hands were still moving, still patching up wounds that didn’t matter. Maybe she was looking for a distraction. Natasha wished she had a distraction.
“What about it?”
“Well, you were acting off after we got back.” Oh god. “So I grabbed Y/N’s suit from the pile and took it to the lab.” Just say it. “Turns out the ink is some kind of enhanced aphrodisiac.” Wait, what?
“It’s what?” Natasha asked, turning around and forcing Maria to finally focus on her, not her wounds.
“An aphrodisiac,” she continued, making eye contact. Natasha couldn’t decipher the look behind her eyes.
“You said it was enhanced?”
“That’s what the lab techs said,” Maria shrugged. “Said it would have been painful.”
Natasha didn’t know what to say. What could she say? “Yes dear, it was extremely painful, that’s why I fucked the only other person who could help me. Why didn’t I go to you? Well, you know, I always did love getting fucked by our coworker.” Because that would go over so well.
“I’m sorry I didn’t know sooner to help.”
“You… what?” Natasha asked. It was rare for her to be caught off guard, but there she was, completely lost and unsure what to do about it.
“If I had known, I would’ve helped,” Maria shrugged. “Instead of having to go to Y/N.”
“The techs said it would be…” she hesitated, refusing to meet Natasha’s eyes, “inescapable.”
“It’s not what you think-”
“I don’t blame you,” Maria interrupted, eyes snapping back up to meet hers. It sent a shiver down Natasha’s spine. “I would’ve preferred you come to me, but since you were both affected, I understand.”
“You do?” Natasha asked. This was all so surreal, it couldn’t be possible. It was a fever dream, it had to be.
“Don’t take it as a free pass,” Maria continued with a raised brow before going back to patch up another scratch. “I’m still upset.” As you should be. “And you’re still in the dog house.” As I should be. “But I…” another hesitation, “I still love you. And I trust you.”
Why couldn’t she have just stabbed a knife through Natasha’s heart? That would have hurt exponentially less than this undeserved trust.
“I love you too,” Natasha murmured. “I’m sorry.”
Maria grabbed Natasha by the chin and turned her head before giving her a kiss. Soft, possessive, hopeful. The message it was trying to convey was clear; crystal clear.
“You owe me big time,” Maria whispered with a smile before letting go and focusing on the rest of Natasha’s now-insignificant injuries.
Natasha found you five weeks later.
She hadn’t meant to. Quite frankly, she hadn’t been trying; she had been spending her days making things up to Maria. She was getting the good cookies from the little bakery down the street at 6 AM, or the crappy coffee from across town that did nothing for their taste buds but everything for their nostalgia. You know, the little things.
And it had been nice.
Maria had tasked her with getting some takeout from the hole-in-the-wall four blocks over, and of course Natasha had said “yes ma’am.” But the elevator stopped on the 9th floor, and once she saw you she couldn’t help but get out.
A small group was around you, all of you dragging your feet as you walked out of one of the debriefing rooms. Everyone was still wearing gear; dripping wet, splotches of red and green covering your suits and skin. You had your belt - only one grenade remained - slung over your shoulder. There was a limp in your step and your right eye was nearly swollen shut.
A failed mission.
Your head snapped up so fast that Natasha winced at how badly it must have hurt. Although judging by the blossoming bruises creeping up from the collar of your suit, everything hurt. But you stared at her nonetheless, something hidden lurking behind the sea of your eyes.
But you didn’t move.
“Can you spare a minute?” Natasha asked. You looked over to your team and waited for them to give you a shrug before you walked in her direction. She didn’t wait for you; she just turned around and made her way to an empty room.
The door clicked shut behind you, but Natasha couldn’t bear to look back at you. Something was tugging at her heart, telling her to look at you, to see you the way she used to. But she couldn’t. She didn’t want to. She had Maria, she loved Maria, and no lingering feelings were going to ruin the one good thing in her life.
“Did you need something?” You finally asked, voice deep and cracking. Something about it was different.
“I’m engaged,” Natasha said simply. You hated when people beat around the bush, so she didn’t.
“Heard from Sam,” you shot back without hesitation. She was almost glad you had already known; it saved the awkwardness of an explanation.
No, she didn’t need to explain anything to you, her decisions were her own.
“Congrats, by the way,” you continued, and Natasha braced herself to turn around…
But that tugging at her heart stopped.
There was something different about you; about the space you were both sharing. Before the dive, just being in the same room as you had a calming effect on Natasha; it wasn’t scandalous, there were no nefarious intentions, but it was a different feeling than when she was with Maria. Something she couldn’t properly put into words.
Instead, the air felt thick. You were standing just a little too far away, your eyes would shy away after looking a little too long. Your jaw was tense, your gills twitched, the spines on your back raised and lowered defensively. Natasha wasn’t feeling comfortable in your space; no, she almost felt trapped.
“Did you need to tell me something?” You asked when Natasha continued to say nothing.
“It can’t happen again,” Natasha said before she could properly decide if that was even what she wanted to say. “It can’t.”
“We used to do it all the time,” you huffed.
“Before I started dating Maria,” Natasha said quickly.” Now I’m engaged, it can’t happen again.”
“Maria said it was fine,” you mumbled to yourself as you set the belt on the table. The way the grenade hit the wood made Natasha flinch before she remembered it couldn’t accidentally go off.
“She talked to you?”
“A bit,” you shrugged. You weren’t meeting her eyes.
“Then you know she didn’t say it was fine,” Natasha continued, ignoring the ripple that went down your gills. “She said she understood that we couldn’t help it.”
“It’s basically the same thing,” you shot back.
“It’s not the same thing, Y/N.”
“Yes it is,” you continued, “you couldn’t help it so it’s fine.”
“We couldn’t help it,” Natasha emphasised.
And her heart stopped.
“Y/N,” Natasha urged when you stayed frozen. “We couldn’t help it.” Still nothing. “Right?”
That was when you looked up. You finally looked up and into Natasha’s eyes, and she saw what was hiding behind your eyes. It wasn’t something beautiful, it wasn’t the mesmerising seas that she had always seen. No, this time there was a monster, something under the roiling waves that would go unnoticed until it was too late.
“When did you know?” Natasha asked. No, she demanded.
“I didn’t know until Maria talked to me,” you said. A little too quickly for Natasha to believe it.
“Genetics.” You were still talking too fast. “The same genes that made me what I am. I’m immune.”
“And you didn’t say anything?” Natasha questioned, her voice rising. Not enough to be considered yelling, but it was loud for her.
“I didn’t know it affected humans,” you urged. Pleaded.
“You let me cheat on my girlfriend and then lied to me about it?”
“I already said I didn’t know!” You finally shouted. The spines on your back were raised and your hands visibly shook. Were you upset that you had gotten caught? That you couldn’t explain your way out of this one? Or just upset that you had lost?
Quite frankly, Natasha didn’t care.
“Unless Nick needs us,” Natasha said calmly, “I don’t want to see you again.”
She didn’t give you any time to say anything, didn’t give you time to plead your case, before she shoved past you and walked back to the elevator. Heads turned when she passed, but she didn’t stop. She just got in the elevator and headed back down.
Dinner was already late.
Natasha was going to be in the dog house for the rest of her life.
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Girl Next Door
Summary: They’re on the run, and in an effort to stay under the radar, Team Cap rents a house in the middle of a sleepy suburb. But after becoming friendly with their neighbor, Steve starts to get a little worried that she knows who they are.
This is the first of my x-files prompt fics, and the prompt I chose this time was: “When was the last time you went out on a date?” - “I will talk to you later.” (here are some gifs of the quote in the show)
Steve Rogers Masterlist • Main Masterlist
You sat at the kitchen island and nursed a cup of coffee, staring absentmindedly out the window. The house next to yours had been empty for some time, so you didn’t feel too weird about leaving the curtains in your kitchen open to let the morning sunlight in, because who was going to see you in your pajamas anyway?
This morning though, things were definitely a little different. The shades in the house next to yours were drawn, rather than open as they usually were, and you could see a faint light coming through them. Putting down your mug, you walked over to the window and peered out, and much to your surprise, it looked like people had actually moved in. There were two cars in the driveway and the lawn looked wild and unkempt, a far cry from the perfectly manicured state it had been in when the house was on the market. The “for sale” sign was gone from the front yard too, and you wondered how long these people had been there before you noticed them.
You tended to live in your own little world for most of the day, and you rarely left your house, because it wasn’t necessary for your job. That was one of the perks of being a writer, you didn’t have a commute to work. You worked from the comfort of your house, with all the snacks you could ever want and a sleep schedule that was a little questionable but you made it work. You wouldn’t say you were a world-renowned author, but you made enough money from the few books you had out to not have to work another job in order to survive. And the mortgage on the house was cheap because you lived in the middle of nowhere, USA. It was about a 20 minute drive to the nearest grocery store (or anything interesting in town), but you didn’t really mind. It was a lot nicer than the homes of some of the people you had gone to school with, because you got a backyard and probably more space than you needed at the same price they were paying for a tiny apartment in a crowded city.
You wondered what your new neighbors would be like, because that house had been empty for so long. Your neighbors on the other side were a husband, wife, and their two year old daughter, who you occasionally babysat when the parents needed a night off. But you didn’t see any evidence of kids at this house, you realized when you peeked out the window to try and catch a glimpse of them. At your other neighbor’s, there was a swingset in the backyard, but there were also the occasional toy left on the lawn, and it was pretty easy to tell that a kid lived there. This house looked as if it was still on the market, if it weren’t for the cars in the driveway or the slightly wild lawn.
You went back to your coffee and pulled up your laptop to continue the story you were working on, still wondering about the new people next door. It was nice outside today, as the months changed from April to May, so maybe you would sit on your front porch to write, and see if you could catch a glimpse of the new neighbors.
The street was empty as Steve and Sam pulled out of the driveway and set their GPS to the nearest grocery store. They were wearing baggy clothes, baseball caps, and dark sunglasses in an attempt to conceal their identity, which was hopefully going to be enough. Their names were all over the news, and they were wanted for escaping the raft and disobeying the Sokovia Accords, so they had to keep a low profile. Steve managed to find this house, and they were renting it from a man they had never seen. They mailed rent checks to a P.O. box a city away, and on top of that everything they did was under a fake name. There were five of them now: Steve, Sam, Bucky, Natasha, and Wanda, because Clint and Scott had taken the plea deals and accepted 2 years of house arrest to be with their families.
They went right as it opened, so there was barely anyone else in the store. They shopped separately, each with a list of half the things they needed. Since the store was so far from the house, and Steve, Bucky, and Sam all ate a lot, they almost couldn’t fit everything in the car. The street was still mostly empty when they pulled back into the driveway, but there were a few more people out. Most of them didn’t give Steve a second glance, until he turned his head towards your house and saw you sitting on the porch, typing away on your laptop.
You must have been able to sense his gaze, because your head popped up immediately. Steve tried to avoid it, but he knew he had just given himself away. Thankfully, you didn’t seem too chatty, offering a small smile and a nod before you turned back to what you were doing.
The rest of the day went as smoothly as it could, considering they were international fugitives. The house was spacious, but it only had three bedrooms: two with one queen bed each and one with 2 twin beds. They would have liked to find something with enough bedrooms for all of them, but this house was in their budget and it came already furnished, and at that point, there didn’t seem like a better option. Natasha and Wanda shared the room with the twin beds, and Bucky slept on the couch. Steve had volunteered to sleep on the couch, but Bucky wouldn’t let him.
The food was soon unpacked and put away, and the five of them stared at each other, not sure what to do. It was strange, the fact that they couldn’t really go outside and do whatever they wanted. Sam peeked out the window, in the direction of your house. “Do you think we should go say hello to the neighbor?” he asked. “She did just watch us unload our groceries.”
“I don’t think we have to,” Steve said. “She seems to be just minding her own business, we don’t need to announce our presence and risk blowing our cover here. We’ll probably run into her again at some point.”
Well it turned out that “at some point” was a lot sooner than Steve anticipated. One afternoon, he had gone out to check the mailbox (he didn’t know why he ever bothered, there was rarely any mail) and you were walking up the street toward your house, a water bottle in your hand. “Afternoon,” you said, offering him a smile.
“Afternoon,” Steve said, and you stopped in front of him, holding out your hand for him to shake.
“I’m Y/N, I live next door,” you said brightly.
“Steve,” he responded as he shook your hand, and he kicked himself for not using an alias.
You didn’t seem to put two and two together, or maybe you did, but you didn’t say anything. “It’s nice to meet you,” you said warmly. “If you ever need anything, feel free to knock on my door and ask. I’m rarely out, so I’ll probably be home.”
Steve cracked a smile. “Oh so you’re some kind of hermit?” he said, and you let out a giggle.
“Well, I guess you could say that,” you responded. “I’m a writer, so there’s really no commute for me.”
“That’s really cool,” he said. “What kind of stuff do you write?”
But before you could answer, Sam poked his head out the front door and called Steve’s name. “Sorry,” Steve said, giving you an apologetic look.
“Oh it’s no problem!” you said, waving it off. “I’m sure I’ll see you again sometime.”
Steve nodded, and then waved at you as you walked off in the direction of your house. “What is it?” he asked Sam when they had gotten back inside the house.
“I didn’t know if you needed rescuing,” Sam said. “Or if she had recognized you.”
“I don’t think so,” Steve answered. “She said she was a writer and she doesn’t really get out much, so I don’t think she’s really aware of everything that has been going on.”
“Who’s a writer?” Natasha had just walked by, and she heard the second part of Steve’s statement.
“The neighbor,” Steve said. “I just met her, and she seems nice.”
“Steve has a crush on the neighbor?” Bucky had joined the conversation too.
“I do not have a crush on the neighbor!” Steve said, an exasperated look on his face. “I spoke to her once and I said she seemed nice.”
“Whatever you say,” Sam said, raising his eyebrows at Steve, who looked ready to walk away at any second. The conversation soon ended, as they all went their separate ways in the house, and Steve soon found himself in the solitude of his bedroom. You were fun to talk to, he thought, replaying your short conversation over and over in his head. And as much as he was not about to admit it to any of the others, maybe he did have a little crush on you. But that didn’t matter, because there was no way you felt the same way about your short conversation that afternoon.
Steve was attractive, you couldn’t deny that. You found yourself peeking out the window more and more throughout the day, hoping to get a glimpse of him. It was a good thing the weather was getting warmer, because then you had an excuse to work outside. Over the next few weeks, you saw Steve more and more, and you would wave to each other in passing. You had yet to meet any of the other people that lived with him, but you knew that there were four of them from what Steve told you.
One afternoon you had just stepped outside for a walk when you saw Steve walking up your pathway. “Hey!” you said, smiling at him despite the surprise. “Do you need something?”
“My friends were driving me crazy in the house,” he said. “And I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk with me?”
You tried not to look too eager as you nodded. “Sure.”
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you walked around the neighborhood. You had to walk a little quicker than usual to keep up with him, but it wasn’t too bad. You pointed out all the different houses in the neighborhood and told him which neighbors were nice and which ones you avoided, and he listened attentively. It was really nice to have company during a time you usually spent all by yourself, and it made you realize how little you actually spoke to other people.
You almost didn’t want it to end, but soon you and Steve were coming back upon your houses. You were about to walk up your path and say goodbye, but then he spoke. “Do you want to come meet my friends?”
“Are you sure?” you asked. He hadn’t told you much about them, just that the group as a whole were pretty private people.
“They’ve been wanting to meet you actually,” Steve responded, and you felt both happy and nervous. What would his friends be like? Would they like you? You nodded, and allowed Steve to lead you up the path and through the front door.
You met Sam first. He was the one that had called Steve back into the house on the day you first met him, and you instantly got along with him, cracking jokes at each other.
You met Natasha and Wanda next, and they were more cautious than Sam but still friendly, and the three of you decided that one day you should go shopping together. Wanda seemed more nervous than Natasha, but she warmed up to you quickly.
You met James last, and he was the most apprehensive of them all, despite being built like Steve. He could probably have snapped you in half if he wanted to, but he spoke softly and took the longest to warm up to you. When he finally did become a little more comfortable in your presence, you were glad. You could tell that he had been through a lot, and you were glad that he had people like Steve around him.
Their little group was like a family, that much was obvious, and you felt honored to have been invited to meet them, even if it was just for a few moments.
As you left, Steve watched you walk up the steps to your house and disappear inside. When he turned around, Sam and Bucky were standing in front of him. “You like her,” Bucky said, his eyebrows raised. Steve opened his mouth to deny it, but the look on Bucky’s face shut him up.
“Fine,” Steve said. “I like her.”
“Then why haven’t you said anything?” Sam asked.
“Because I don’t know if she likes me back. I see her looking at me, and I think that maybe she knows who we are. I don’t want to have to find another place, because finding this one took long enough.”
“She’s looking at you like that because she likes you, you idiot!” Bucky said, and a pinkish tint started to spread across Steve’s face. “She thinks you’re attractive, and if she knew who you were, don’t you think she would have said something by now?”
“I guess you’re right,” Steve said.
“I know I’m right,” Bucky said. “I’ve seen the way you two look at each other.”
Steve still wasn’t sure his friends were right, but he made the resolution to one day tell you how he felt the next time he saw you. Mainly because he wanted to, but also because Sam and Bucky couldn’t keep their mouths shut and within a day both Natasha and Wanda were on his case about you too. He peeked out the window at random times, hoping to see you writing out on the porch. One day, his wish came true as he was on the phone with Natasha and noticed you outside through the window. “I have to go,” he said, not paying attention to what she had just said.
“Y/N’s outside, I’m going to finally ask her out.”
There was silence on the other end, but after a few moments Natasha spoke again. “Steve?”
“When was the last time you went out on a date?”
He didn’t want to answer that question. “I will talk to you later,” he said, hanging up before she could protest.
Before he could stop himself, he had left the house and was halfway to you before you noticed him. “Hey!” you said, closing your laptop as he stepped onto your porch. “What’s up?”
“Do you want to go to dinner with me?” The words had left his mouth before he even had a chance to refine what he was going to say.
You didn’t answer right away, and he was worried that he had already screwed up. “Like a date?” you asked softly.
Steve nodded slightly. “Yeah, if you’d be okay with that,” he said. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you Y/N, and I haven’t been on a date in an embarrassingly long time, but I like you. A lot. And you’re one of the first people just to treat me like a person.”
“What do you mean like a per-” you started to say, but trailed off as you had the realization. “You’re Steve Rogers,” you said quietly. “I don’t really watch the news, so I knew your name but not your face.”
“When was the last time you watched the news?” Steve asked.
“I don’t know,” you said. “It’s been at least six months I think, so I guess I also never thought that Captain America and his friends would be moving next door to me in the middle of nowhere.”
“We’re kind of on the run right now,” Steve said. “It’s a long story.”
You smiled. “Well, then how about you tell me over dinner?”
“Really?” His face lit up.
You laughed as you leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “Yes, really. I like you too Steve, whether you’re a criminal or not.”
A bashful smile crossed Steve’s face at your words. “I’ll let you decide that over dinner then,” he said.
“I look forward to it.”
Steve would have like to keep the fact that he finally asked you out a secret for a little longer than he did, but his friends weren’t stupid. They could tell something had happened, especially because Steve couldn’t stop smiling.
- the end -
***this is my sideblog. i reply to any direct comments on this post from my main blog @fandomsandxfiles
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Through The Lens ❤ Jean Kirstein
A/n: this is for my polaroid collab!
Pairing: Jean x fem!reader
Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, oral (fem receiving), lots of fluff.
Summary: Polaroids capture the best and worst moments, especially in your relationship with Jean
As always, enjoy
“What do you mean he’s sick? I’m literally waiting outside the movie theater right now.” your brows furrowed, your jaw tensing as you bit your cheek.
“I know I know. Perfect timing right?” Jean sighed as you heard Marco dry heave in the background.
“Yeah, it’s just fabulous right? I bought the tickets already and all my friends are doing something tonight.” whining, you looked down at the tickets in your hand. They were for some scary movie, but it couldn’t be that scary as it was only a pg-13 rating. You had hoped to snuggle up to the cute guy in your AP chemistry class, but instead it seemed you’d be snuggling up to the empty seat next to you.
“If it makes you feel any better, I have a friend on taking care of Marco duty…?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” you were getting more nervous by the minute, maybe you’d give the tickets to some quiet couple who only wanted to makeout in the back of the theater, and go home to drown yourself in some ice cream to quench the pissyness inside of you.
“It means I’m coming with you dumbass. I can’t let your money go to waste.” you let out an unintelligible noise, Jean piping up. “See you in ten.”
That was seven years ago, instead of going out with Marco, you went out with Jean, having more fun than you imagined you would. After the movie he took you to get milkshakes, making you laugh so hard some of it dribbled out of your nose.
“Ew. Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” you said in between giggles, Jean grabbing a napkin to wipe away the mess dripping from your nose.
“We’ve all done it before.” he laughed as he wiped it away, setting the ice cream stained napkin down and giving you a grin.
Jean proved to be more than the cocky lacrosse player everyone knew him as. Sure he was cocky, immature, could be a dumb boy sometimes, but he was so much more. After you finished your date he went back to Marco’s house, taking over Connie’s duty of being his caretaker. Jean was thoughtful, a good friend, and a great captain, the team loved him.
That brings you to now, flipping through the photo album of all the pictures you had taken before, remembering every moment. The ice cream shop was the first picture you’d ever taken together, grabbing their polaroid on the table by the decorative wall and snapping three pictures. One for you, one for Jean, and one to hang up on the wall.
After that you had gotten new film for your own, having set it away to collect dust in some part of your closet. From there on out you captured every date and moment you spent with Jean, decorating some of the pictures so they could go on the back of your phone, showing off your cute boyfriend.
Jean had taken up your hobby a few months later, noticing the stares and awe your pictures had gotten from fellow classmates, making you giggle and talk about your dates with him.
He grabbed his own set of paint pens, glitter pens, and a sticker pack to throw into the cart, scanning the aisle for anything else he could use. Once he was finished he drove to a specialty store, determined to make a polaroid of his own you’d be proud to show off.
“How does this shit work?” he mumbled to himself, seeing various sticker sheets and rolls laid out, prices put next to them in large signs.
Jean picked more than enough out, ears red as he paid for them. Man was he whipped, he wasn’t expecting to like Marco’s nerdy lab partner as much as he did. He wasn’t expecting to be your date at all, but he was glad everything ended up the way it did.
“She's beautiful, dude.” Marco searched his closet for a shirt, plucking one off of the hanger. “I’m telling you, she’s got these bright eyes that always light up when she’s talking about something she loves. She’s so sweet, so smart.”
“Sounds great man.” Jean scrolled through his phone, his reaction half assed.
Little did he know he’d be the one seeing the “pretty nerd” as he called you when Marco asked if he was listening. When Marco threw up everywhere, Jean called you in a panic, having no idea how you’d react.
He thought back on that moment as he sat in his car, looking at the picture he’d stuck to the dashboard, the exact one from the ice cream parlor.
You squealed when he returned home with the stickers, obviously very excited that he had taken an interest in your hobby.
He plucked a picture from a beach trip up, grabbing the bag with his decorating items, and got to work
You were both sixteen when you had started going out, dating each picture you took together right away in small font so as to not take up all the space for decorating. You pulled another picture out of the photo album, smiling as your fingers traced over the small glittery stars stuck to the corners. You both looked so young, so little.
It had been your first prom together, a little under a year since you had started dating each other. It was stressful, making sure Jean’s tie matched your satin red dress.
“Well, look at mister handsome.” you smiled cheekily, as you eyed him up and down, moving to grab the boutonniere and corsage from your small side table in the living room.
Jeans hand rubbed at the back of his neck as he blushed, turning away from you.
Your house was bustling with men and women in dresses, pantsuits, and suits. Marco went with a girl you both had met in chemistry class, his tie an iridescent silver to match her dress.
“It’s nice to see you again!” you hugged the girl, looking up at Marco. “And you too! Although we do see each other often.” he laughed softly as you let go of the girl, moving to stand by Jean.
After everything was done and the night winded down you snagged a picture with Jean before he had to go home, too scared to break curfew.
JUNIOR PROM, you wrote on it with a gold marker that matched the stickers you placed on almost every edge, dating the picture on the corner that wasn’t taken up to remember the moment by.
Setting the picture back in the album, you picked up the one beside it, labelled as your senior prom.
It was less hectic than the year before, more laid back, and no curfew to worry about. Jean wore a bright blue tie to match your multicolored dress, reflecting blue, purple, and pink as you twirled around.
The afterparty was at Eren’s house since he was loaded, the night a big blur filled with red solo cups and music blaring as you rested your head on Jean’s shoulder.
The picture you took together was one you barely remembered, but you decorated it anyway. The small stickers of the letters popped out on the white material of the outer film, making you smile as you dragged your finger over them.
Your ears twitched as the door at the entrance of the house opened, closing quietly as the person shuffled.
“Hey, I’m home.” Jean shouted, making you smile as you put the photo album down. He moved to stand in the doorway leading into the room you were in, his brow hiking up. “What are you doing?”
Humming, you got up to go greet him, fitting your arms around his shoulders. “Mmm, just looking at old memories. How was work?” you pecked his lips, smiling when you pulled back to look at Jean’s equally happy face.
“Tiring.” He nuzzled into you, making you giggle. “Any plans for dinner?”
“I was just gonna get take out? We haven’t had it in a while and the fridge is basically empty. We need to go shopping this weekend.”
He nodded, going to sit where you sat earlier. “So, you pulled out the polaroids?”
“Yeah, just wanted to look back.” rifling through the drawers, you pulled a menu out, writing down the order you were going to place.
Jean shuffled behind you, picking up the album.
“Alright, our order is placed. It should be here in about thirty minutes.” plopping down next to him, you laid your head on his shoulder as he looked at each decorated picture.
“Thanks,” he kissed the top of your head.
“No problem.” you snuggled up closer to him, eager to feel his warmth. “What’s that one? I’ve never seen it before.” your murmur was quiet as you pulled the picture out of its casing, looking at the picture of you sleeping on the corner of the couch, your brows furrowed with your arms across your chest. “When did you take this?”
Jean sighed, taking the picture from you. He rubbed his thumb on the small moon he put at the corner, its face dim with a tear running down one side. “You don’t remember?” he asked, and you shook your head no, looking up at him. “We fought about something stupid. I don’t even remember what it was about… all I remember is that I hurt you and you told me to leave. I forgot something and I saw you and I couldn’t help but…”
“Couldn’t help but…?”
“I couldn’t not check on you. You looked so upset… your cheeks were blotchy and your lips swollen. I felt like a dick.”
His voice was small, quiet as you took his cheeks in your hand. “Jean… argument’s are a two way street. I’ve started more than enough stupid ones for the both of us.” pecking him on the lips, you flipped a page to grab a polaroid you’d hidden behind a different one, handing it to him. “I took one similar… only your face is stuck in a permanent scowl.”
He chuckled as his hand grabbed at your waist. “You really put that angry sticker right next to my face?”
“I mean you put a sad moon on mine, at least the sticker I put isn’t pierrot.”
“Pierrot isn’t the sad moon, it’s the clown babe.”
“You know what I mean.” you grumbled and he laughed, kissing the top of your head.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” you put the photos away, looking up at Jean. Your thumb stroked his cheek and he leaned over to kiss you, making you relax into his touch. His hand moved under your shirt, his thumb rubbing at your side. His tongue played at the seam of your lips, and you pulled away. “After dinner loverboy. It’ll be here soon.”
He mumbled something under his breath but his hands retreated when the doorbell rang.
Turning the tv on, you both sat and watched criminal minds while you ate, your legs resting over Jean’s own.
“All done?” you hummed, taking the plate from Jean who had his arms over the back of the couch. Quickly putting the dishes in the sink, you moved to sit close to him again, burying your face in his shirt.
“Miss me?” he chuckled, making you grumble under your breath.
“You’re the one who started this.” turning your face away, you jut your lower lip out, pouting. Jean cupped a hand on your face, turning you toward him again.
He smiled before hooking a finger under your chin, tugging you up so he could kiss you. Like before, his tongue played at the seam of your lips, and when you opened them he delved right in. Jean pinned you to the couch, working on unbuttoning your jeans.
When he pulled away, you worked on taking his tight shirt off. God, he was built with muscle, his shirt showing off every line of his abs. Once his shirt was off, you trailed a hand down his chest, feeling his heart beat quickly for a few seconds. His abs tightened as you got closer to his pants, your finger stuck on his happy trail.
“Stop teasing.” he groaned, moving one hand to unbutton his pants. You giggled, helping him. His boxers stuck beautifully to his skin, showing the imprint of his dick twitching. While he peeled his boxers off, you threw your shirt and undergarments to the side, looking at him as his eyes widened.
“What?” your voice was shaky, he’d never looked at you like this no matter how many times you’d had sex before
“You’re beautiful.” he sighed, moving to stroke your lips with his finger, Jean used his palm to warm you up, his lips kissing your jaw.
Goosebumps rose on your skin as he sucked a mark into the crook of your jaw, scraping his palm against your clit. You whimpered, feeling the vibrations of the groan he let out in your neck as he edged two fingers into you, revelling in the feeling of your tight walls around his fingers.
“Fuck,” he grunted, precum spilling out of his cockhead when you moaned softly. Jean continued to prep you, angling himself so he could lap at your clit, making your legs twitch.
“Jean.” you tugged at his hair, but he still managed to delve deeper, “Jean. I’m ready… please.” whimpering, you tugged harder.
Jean moved up, stroking his dick in his hand. He pressed into you, sheathing fully with one thrust. His pace was slow, always making sure you were adjusted before he went faster.
Once he had you writhing underneath him he picked his pace up, thrusting harder into you. With every thrust inward he brushed against your g-spot, making you moan while your toes curled.
“You’re so good for me.” Jean groaned, his thumb petting at the column of your neck.
“More,” you whined. “S-so close.” you pinched at your nipples, Jeans thumb swirling around your clit. With another deep thrust and some more flicks to your clit, you came, tightening around him.
It wasn’t long before Jean was spurting his cum into you, white thick lines painting your walls. He fucked it deeper into you until he softened, practically caging you in between his body and the couch. You both winced as he pulled out, panting.
The room was silent for a couple of beats, the smell of sweat and sex lingering in the air.
“Alright. We have to go get cleaned up.” you groaned, slapping his shoulder lightly.
After you showered together, you put the couch covers in the wash, grabbing the polaroid. Laying down in bed, you gave Jean the small camera, putting your head on his shoulder.
Jean looked at you, questioning. “Just take the picture babe.” he chuckled, taking the picture. Shaking the picture to hopefully develop it more, you smiled once it was clear. Jean leaned over, tracing your smiling faces.
Setting it off to the side, you cuddled into him, yawning. His hand pet your head comfortingly, lulling you to sleep.
Every moment of life your life was captured through the polaroids lens, and it was crazy to think that one different moment would’ve changed it all for you. But as Jeans arms wrapped around your waist, pulling your sleeping body closer to him, you wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Tagging: @kirsteiiins @fiaficsxo @zekeslut @sweet-todou @nekobeni @daijouh @izukine @erwinsvow @amnxsia @bwunnypet @jenijae @goldenkirstein <3
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Beyond the Beast - Four: Almost
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x mutant!Reader
Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse and trauma, sui thoughts, mentions of self-harm, swearing, age gap.
Series summary: You were a monster. That’s what you saw when you looked into the mirror: a shadow of who you had been before. But beyond the blood, the scars, the glare, and the anger, you were a sad story. One of a kind, carrying a burden never known by other. Or so you though until you met him, Bucky Barnes. Suddenly, you weren’t alone anymore.
Note: Let me tell you something: The angst is everywhere. But also the support and some comfort. I'm sorry for not sticking to schedule, life has been kicking my ass. Thank you so much Ellie @lokiscollar for continuously hyping me up with this series (and being a lovely beta too)
Please don't forget to like, reblog and/or leave a comment! It's really important and I love discussing the story! Also, feedback motivates me to continue writing for this series! So, please, if you're enjoying this story, let me know. <3
Masterlist || Three || Four || Five
After recording the testimony, Bucky took you back to the suite. Your suite. He was silent the whole time, allowing you to deal with your emotions. Emotions that you put a lot of effort into hiding, and you thought you were doing a good job so far. But every time your eyebrows pressed together, you’d tense up your jaw and grab the wounded wrist. The pain was useful to distract you from wandering thoughts.
You were bad at reading people, that’s why you thought you were good at concealing. You couldn’t notice the way Bucky looked at what you did with your hands. He had a mix of curiosity and concern in his eyes, and it weighed him down too. All the conversations you two had, all the things you had shown him weren’t meaningless to him. And he wondered if you knew that.
What you knew was that telling your story meant being vulnerable, and not only for the obvious reasons. When someone gets to know you, they get to know what makes you smile and what makes you hurt. They get to know what it takes to bring you down. They get to know when something is wrong, even though you might not realize it.
And well, you knew all the things that went wrong - that felt wrong - in your heart, but you thought it was a well-kept secret. You thought the broken pieces couldn’t be seen from the outside. Bucky was familiar with that feeling too.
“Get some rest.” He said gently, stopping right before your door. “I’ll be back in the morning. Hopefully, with more good news.” He tried to give you a reassuring smile, which you didn’t return.
“Yeah.” That was what you managed to say. You were shutting down again, in hopes of burying the emotions that insisted on bubbling up. You feared that once you were on your own again, the bad thoughts would take over you just like before.
“I’m proud of you.” Bucky said carefully, making you feel confused. You couldn’t understand what you could have done to make him - or anyone - proud.
Just like that, you walked into the room and closed the door, which you could hear being locked behind you. It was different and better, but still a cell.
You looked at the bed, apparently comfortable and inviting, but you refused to lie down there. Part of you believed you didn’t deserve the comfort that it offered you. For years, you had been treated like something below human, and you still saw yourself as something other than that.
Sleeping in a soft mattress with clean sheets only reminded you of the times you weren’t that creature yet. You were someone else. And you weren’t a fan of those memories. They made the resentment grow in your chest. It was heavy and made it hard to breathe. It was grief for the girl you used to be.
Instead, you sat on the floor, back against the cold wall. That was more familiar than any cozy bed, you got used to it. It’s not like you would fall asleep easily, anyway, even if you had tried to lie down.
A light knock on the door got you on your feet. That night - and every night before that - there was no deep slumber, there were no dreams. If you got lucky enough, you'd have a few naps before the sun came up, but that was it. You were used to the lack of sleep and the unquiet nights, even before being taken to the compound.
The door was unlocked when you tried to open it, but you suspected that wouldn’t be the case if you had attempted to sneak out in the middle of the night. In the hallway, Bucky waited for you, just like he said he would.
“Morning." He greeted, taking a moment to judge your appearance. "Did you even get any sleep?” Bucky asked, earning a shake of your head in response.
He was apparently quite annoyed by it. “I told you to get some…" He huffed, and you wondered why he was so concerned about your well-being.
“It’s no big deal. When I sleep, nightmares come back.” You explained with a shrug, half-heartedly. “It’s just easier not to sleep at all.” The annoyance in his eyes dissipated after listening to your words, and you could almost hear a loud and clear “oh” coming from his thoughts.
You looked away, keeping the mask and pretending that everything was fine. Bottle that shit right up. “So, where’s Sam?” You asked, trying to change the topic of the conversation.
“He’s doing fieldwork. You know, checking your story, trying to get somewhere.” Bucky explained, not letting go of your confession completely. But your thoughts took less than seconds to focus on the new information he had just given you.
You felt your face heating up entirely, a weird feeling blooming in your guts. Things were moving too fast. It’s not like you had lied about anything, but the bits that you had deliberately kept to yourself would probably come for you later. It probably wouldn’t end well for you.
“Why aren’t you with him? I thought you two were partners.” You shoved both hands into the pockets of your jacket, just in case they decided to begin to shake.
“Yeah… But if I went with him, who would keep you company?” Bucky let a smirk dance on the corner of his lips, and you almost believed it had been his choice.
“And why would you wanna do that?” You teased him, trying to keep your thoughts in order. You were his job. His target once, and now his witness.
Even when he told you about how his life was before HYDRA, and about the things he liked to do in his free time, you tried to keep in mind that it was just a quid pro quo or whatever. He was doing what it took him to catch the bad guy.
And when you told him about the misery that he had put you through, the way you were treated like a weapon, and that you couldn’t sleep at night, it was only because that was the price for your freedom - not because Bucky was a friend. At least, that’s what you tried to convince yourself of.
Growing up, you had no friends. As an only child and daddy’s little girl, you needed no one but him. In your teenage years, you rarely left the house alone and well… When you became a subject, no one saw you as anything other than that. You wouldn’t know what friendship would feel like.
“Well, obviously it’s not because of your bright mood, (Y/N).” Bucky shook his head, teasing you back and chuckling to himself. “Maybe I like the misfits.” He looked at you, repeating the words that you had told him not long ago.
It made you smile genuinely this time. He had a point, you wouldn’t be as comfortable around Sam as you were with him. Sam Wilson was the man that looked like he had it all together. While Bucky… He was a mess. Less messy than you, you thought, but still a mess. And he understood you, which was crazy to believe in the first place.
“Which reminds me… Today we’re going somewhere that might not be very comfortable for you. But I promise you, nothing bad will happen to you there.” Bucky declared and started walking away.
You knew you were supposed to follow him. “Where is it?” You asked before moving, feet planted on the floor.
“You’re going to meet Dr. Banner.” The name meant nothing to you, but you didn’t like the title. “He’s a good guy, I swear.”
More promises. You hoped he knew that nothing good could come from a visit to a doctor.
Why do labs always have the same smell? That was the first question that popped into your mind as you walked in, staying close to Bucky the whole time. There was a whole team working there, a bunch of white lab coats walking from side to side. From the moment you realized that you were surrounded by them, you kept your eyes down, staring at your own feet. You hated the feeling that burned in your guts.
“What am I doing here?” You hissed in a whisper to Bucky, hands curled into fists as you tried to remain unnoticed behind the supersoldier.
“It’s just a check-up, but I wouldn’t have brought you here if it wasn’t important, (Y/N).” He assured you, just as you sensed someone approaching you two - making you look up.
You weren’t sure if that was a man or something else. Something in between. The green skin and the surreal height should have been perceived by you sooner, but you were too shaken by the environment to realize.
“Dr. Bruce Banner. Also known as the Hulk… As seen on tv.” The way Bucky introduced the man got you dumbfounded for a moment. “This is (Y/N). She’s a bit rough around the edges, be careful with her.”
That was the doctor what was gonna check you up? If you had to guess, Bruce Banner leaned way more towards Adam than towards Dr. Frankenstein.
“It’s nice to meet you, (Y/N). I’m glad you came.” Said the Hulk. Half Hulk, half-man. You could swear he was way bigger on the news. “We just need to run some tests. A blood sample would be-”
“No!” You interrupted him, drawing attention from the team around the lab. “I don’t want… I didn’t agree to this.” You turned to Bucky, grabbing him by the arm. “What is this? After what I’ve told you…”
He touched you in the same way, but gentler, and turned to face you. “I know. This is exactly what I was talking about. You gotta trust me on this one too. I’ve been keeping my word, haven’t I?”
“I’ve been lied to before.” You reminded him. “There’s no guarantee that I’m getting out of this place, Bucky.”
“I am your guarantee. I’ll be with you, right here.” He reached down, taking your hand. It was the left one, with the improvised bandages hidden under your sleeves. “All the way through. I won’t let them hurt you.”
“Why?” You asked, low enough that you hoped he would be the only one to hear you.
“You know why.” The look in his eyes said everything his words left aside. “I’ve told you why.”
Because Bucky knew what it was like to be nothing but a subject. He knew what it was like to have no will, to be imprisoned and helpless. He took it personally not to let it happen to you again. It was still so new to you, to have someone who didn’t fear you. Who saw you as someone to be protected.
You grabbed the hand that delicately held yours, firmly holding it back. “You got this.” He said, looking for a response in your eyes. You looked down before searching for his eyes again. With a single nod and a deep breath, you agreed.
The medical team, led by Dr. Banner, gave you a check-up just like Bucky said. But before you went through that, you had to take off your jacket and hoodie. When your bandages were exposed, you hoped no one would ask about them.
“Whoever tied these bandages was either blind or drunk.” You heard someone whisper far from you, even though a normal human wouldn’t.
By the way Bucky tightened his jaw, just like you did, you knew he had heard it as well. His brows were furrowed, the crease between them was evident. But he didn’t look surprised, just worried.
You just wanted it all to be over already. They took a couple of blood samples, examined your teeth, and took some radiographs of your bone structure as well.
“We need to check your physical abilities as well. Speed, strength… Jaw strength, too.” Explained Dr. Banner, making you wonder how they planned on doing that. “I’ll give Sargent Barnes some instructions so he can conduct the tests. If you’re not comfortable with doing them today…”
He looked at your wrist, making you instinctively hide it with your right hand, letting go of Bucky. He was being thoughtful, treating you almost as a patient, not a subject. It surprised you.
It’s fine, I can do this today.” With a glance at Bucky, you nodded a couple of times and turned back to Banner.
“Great! Thank you so much for your patience, (Y/N). One last thing…” He signed to someone behind you, who approached with caution. You heard a click and the collar around your neck loosened up. The assistant took it off of you, and you breathed in, relieved.
One step closer to freedom, you thought. And for what it seemed, the hardest parts were over. Physical tests would be no sweat for you, funny enough.
Bucky was taking you to the gym, just as Banner instructed. He was quiet, even quieter than usual. You thought about breaking the silence and thanking him for being there for you… but you couldn’t find the words in you.
“When did that happen?” The supersoldier asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. Bucky wasn’t looking directly at you, but as you followed his gaze, it met your bandages.
“It’s old.” You lied. “Breaking into a loft. Broken windows.” With a gulp, you expected him to eat up your lie.
“And how did you have a clean wrist for the past month?” Yeah, it wasn’t a good lie, but in your defense, you hadn’t thought it through. “How did you get hurt, (Y/N)?”
Bucky stopped walking to face you. He was serious, but not mad. You couldn’t tell the truth, anyway. Even if you wanted to, which you didn’t, you had promised yourself: no more weaknesses. Confessing to him that you did it to yourself was showing him how weak you were; how weak you felt as soon as you found yourself completely alone again.
“I thought we were past the whole hiding behind walls thing. Honesty, remember?” Bucky didn’t want to press you, he wouldn’t force you into talking either, but he insisted. He insisted because he was worried that you’d do something stupid. After all, he had done plenty of stupid too. “I won’t train with you like that. You’re hurt.” He declared at last.
“No! I wanna do this. I’m just fine.” You wanted to train. You wanted to give your best at that gym, you wanted to show him just how fast you could be and how strong you used to be and… “I need this. It makes me feel better.” You weren’t sure if you were talking about self-harm or training. Maybe both.
“Then tell me. Tell me… Did you do this to yourself?” Bucky stepped closer to you, grabbing your arm, careful to avoid the bandages. He lifted it between the two of you, but his eyes never left yours. “I’m not angry.” He assured you.
“Have you ever thought…” You puffed. “... that the best way out was to end it all? That the only way you’d stop being a beast would be to stop being at all?” Your voice came out weak, but that was your anger taking over. It burned in your eyes, it inflated your nostrils. “Do you know that feeling?”
He knew the feeling. He had given up on himself before, he had thought less about himself too. And if it weren’t for Steve and Sam, if they hadn’t believed in James Buchanan Barnes, he would still be just the Soldat.
“You’re wrong. This is not the best way out.” It was what Bucky managed to say, before pulling you into a hug. Needless to say, you weren’t used to that sort of physical connection.
He held you tight, firmly against his chest. At first, you tensed up and even thought about pushing him away, but you couldn’t remember the last time you had been hugged. You eventually eased in his arms, still not sure about holding him back.
“You’re more than what they made you into. You’re more than a weapon, more than an asset. Damn, (Y/N), you can be so much more.” You heard his muffled voice. “Don’t let him win now. You’re free.”
You mumbled something, fighting back the tears. Bucky pulled away, his eyes were red - as if he was doing the same as you, trying not to cry. You had seen him being vulnerable before, but that felt different. “Almost.” You repeated yourself. “Almost free.”
“Don’t give up.” He asked. “We’re fighting for you. Sam and I. We’re fighting with you.”
You wanted so bad to believe him. You wanted to believe you’d be protected at all costs, that you could trust that nothing bad would ever happen again. There was a time in your life that it was exactly like that. You were precious to someone. You were protected and cared for. Until one day… you weren’t anymore.
“Can you fight with us?” Bucky offered you his hand again, just like all the times he tried to show you he was there for you. That you could count on him.
Once again, you found yourself trusting him; trusting that it was the safest way to get what you wanted. “Yeah.” You took his hand, holding on to him. “Does that mean we’re training now?” You smirked, trying to lift the mood.
“First, I need to see what you can do. Ready for some workout?” He started walking again, motioning for you to follow.
“Fuck yeah, please!” You celebrated, also relieved that the conversation wasn’t focused on your unhealthy habits anymore. For once, you were almost happy again.
Beyond the beast taglist: @flightsandfantasy @thosesteelblueeyes @hollarious @xhollycowx @godesslaura @austynparksandpizza
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Living The Frugal Life: 05/01/2020 - 06/01/2020
A chukar partridge, the size of a small turkey, seen from the window of an area espresso shop, swiftly recognized by a bunch of regulars armed with ipads and good phones. Taddies. They always appear like dragons in comparison with the miniature dimension of the Tadpoles, they usually instantly pop up from underneath the jelly, like Crocodiles in a tropical river. I feel a Berberis 'Helmond Pillar' will look significantly better there. In no time you can provide your garden a lovely look and illumination which can make you neighbors an associates jealous. Through the years now we have invested in white, pale green and pink varieties and annually they greet us like previous mates. Buddha statue, which was a Christmas present from our greatest pals - they know me so nicely! Hellebores are such elegant, stately plants, which spread effectively of their own accord, without needing to be cosseted. Where are they? What delights are in store?
An area grocery store, for instance, announced they are closing two hours early every evening to allow a “deep cleaning” of their store day-after-day - an interesting response. Once the path was dug to a depth suitable for motorway foundations, Himself raided our sandstone store up the garden (which was created with what we might dug out of the pond years in the past!) and used that as hardcore foundations. Last weekend once we were out of town visiting family we acquired to pop in for a quick lunch. Anyway, the subsequent few photos were taken yesterday - and our trusty bent scaffold pole makes an excellent netting support to keep the leaves out of the pond. I like slicing away the previous, leathery leaves to make method for the recent lime-greens of their Spring foliage. It was through one mans sin
Romans 5:12. Adam the first male sinned; subsequently, a firstborn male should make atonement for mans sin.
Her informal, conversational tone and cheeky attitude make for a quick and enjoyable learn. I am sure gardeners write more, read more, and accumulate more books than different hobbyists or semi-professional actions. Ensure you add not more than three breeders. I've used sequin waste and Gesso to add some highlights together with sixteen round my web page to satisfy the standards for the theme. Ingredients that you simply often have readily available. akari headlamp than ever to develop from seed, and to save a number of dollars for cooking substances at the identical time. Another good tip is to choose a few items from your own home that you realize you'll like. The grasses have gone, the hebes have grown, field balls have discovered a new dwelling and the Irish moss, which worked effectively in the very wet summer time of 2012, did not just like the direct sunlight of 2013 and died, so has been replaced by a creeping floor cover that I do not know the name of and do not have a photo of both!
I then bought some Irish Moss as floor cover. Someone from crowd then intervened and defined what was being asked. And every Spring once i gaze upon my host of Daffodils, I really feel an affinity to Wordsworth's sentiments, 'After which my coronary heart with pleasure fills, and dances with the Daffodils'. I wouldn’t leave it within the freezer for too lengthy though, because when it warms up, the potatoes shall be mushy and i just feel like this soup is supposed to be loved pretty close to the time you made it. It was too scorching to comfortably leave my hand in there very long! There was a metre (or so) beyond the back wall of the fruit cage that went up as far because the concrete path simply behind the maple tree. Just come back from a two week trip to China, main a Gardens Ilustrated tour group with a colleague from Sheffield, Lei Gao.
However, we now have some spawn in the again pond too. We're hoping the spawn will have a better chance to develop this year and that, in time, our colony of Frogs will probably be replenished. Now that the spawn is right here, the Newts will follow, and, along with them, the myriad of pondlife. I love seeing the massive-House-Flags displayed from the fronts of homes as you go by them, every with there personal character. There continues to be a strategy to go but though - but I'm hoping to get it completed off in the course of the half term vacation next week if the weather is variety to me! Although we still get tall Couch Grass rising by means of, all the things appears naturalised and saves me a headache. And that i left it to get on with its personal gadgets for 3 years until this spring! For, though the months of January through to March have bestowed us with lovely carpets of Snowdrops and sunny banks of Aconites, they are the Winter bulbs which precede the joy and sweetness of Spring.
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Rewriting Their Sins
spMe: I know I said just AOP and the Sitcom but goddamn I wanted to write this.
Yin: Called it. Give me $40 dollars Yang.
Yang: God fuckin dammit, *gives $40 bucks*
Yin: Heh. So buying my niece bubble tea.
Me: YOU TWO MADE A BET?!
Yin: Hell yes. Did you really think school and work wouldn’t slap you in the damn face?? You are in an angsty mood because of the stress.
Me: . . .I hate that I made you actually smart.
Chapter 9- Arkridge part 4: Dark Phoenix and a future that shouldn’t be seen
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 (Your here)
Hanao looks to Heisu "Heisu! You can see a bit in the Dark, right?" He asks. Heisu nods and looks around. Getting up, he turns left to a dark hallway.
Eita gets his lantern to glow brighter "There! Let's go!" he says the group quickly follows Heisu and him. Heisu takes and left turn and almost runs into a door.
"Dammit!" Says Heisu, Yin walks up to the door. Destroying one of his newer gloves, Yin flicks the door. Overhauling it into pieces.
Chisaki Yin his quirk- Inorganic Overhaul. Yin can recreate and destroy inorganic or man-made things. The quirk is powerful, but it takes up lots of stamina. If he does go over his limit, he will get exhausted and tire out. He regains his energy by sleeping.
Riku looks at Yin and thinks back to what Meiro said to him years earlier. "My older half-brothers are very strong!" he thinks back. Staring at the Chisaki …he doesn't even look fazed...or tired…thinks Riku.
The group continues to run to where they heard the yells. Making it to the top of the temple, the group notices the other half frozen in place. Turning, the group realizes Mitsuki had Haruki as a hostage.
Kouten growls, "Oh, you son of a bitch…." He says. Sai stretches his arm out in front of him. "Don't be aggressive. Not yet, at least." Says Sai.
Kouten growls but stays back. Mitsuki smiles. "Aww, I was hoping for some action, anyways, maybe you should look up!".
The group looks up, noticing floating cameras around them. Yin's eyes shrank. "Fuck…Cameras are they live?!" says Yin, immediately looking around.
"B-by live do you mean holographic screens?" asks Riku as he points to the sky behind Mitsuki and Haruki.
In the sky were holographic screens showing the group at different angles. Mitsuki laughs. "My! The leaders will love this show! Especially the leaders of Grale! Shigraki will finally see my full power!~" he says in a chirpy tone. Haruki struggles to escape him.
~Meanwhile in Orklas~
"Mitsuki is live. Mitsuki is live." Says a voice. A man wearing a white suit with seafoam green on the accents. Turns his attention from a braided blonde with purple and green streaks in their hair. Who was recovering from their bloody back. The person's tail had four mini hearts that are green, and the tip was a big purple heart sharpened.
The male taps his sea foam holographic screen.
"Entering the stream, please wait, Kawakami Zankoku, or Ringleader."
Upon entering the stream, his seafoam green eyes look straight at Eita and Hanao.
A crooked smile appears on his face. "Oh?~ I thought they both died!~" he chirps. "Right…Tsukiya?~," he says, looking to the blonde's maroon eyes get smaller.
"No...No! Please don't go after both of them!" says Tsukiya desperately.
Ringleader clicks his tongue. "I can't do that~ I've wanted to do their punishments for so long."
Ringleader turns his back to the snarling person behind him. He begins typing and sends it to the chat.
"now…For that punishment for not listening and leaving me." He smiles "hmmm, maybe a whip…no too easy…how about a brutal fuck? Oh, that sounds nice…."
Tsukiya growls and lunges at Ringleader. "DON'T TOUCH MY BROTHER!!!!" they shout out. Slits becoming thin and nails growing to a sharp point.
Ringleader chuckles. "Oh, don't worry, Tsukiya. You're still my favorite fuck toy~ I won't touch Hanao sexually unless he pisses me off. I'll just whip him, giving him more scars! Eita, though…I can't resist but to fuck! He was the most rebellious one!" he laughs out. Then he glares at them, "Now get off and get on your hands and knees. I'm still not done with our little appointment."
The heart choker glows, making Tsukiya get off of Ringleader. Falls to their hands and knees, their tail shaking, holding in tears.
~Meanwhile in Xota~
Meiro runs to Yang's room. Barging in, not even bothering to knock. Yang jumps, covering his tattooed body with Hotaru not even caring next to him.
"Meiro! For Christ's sake, knock!" scolds Yang. Hotaru rolls his eyes.
"NO TIME! LOOK!" shouts Meiro shoving a holographic screen in his face.
Yang notices the stream, and his eyes went directly to Yin and Hanao. "Yin...Hanao…Wait…is this happening now?!" asks Yang to his younger half-brother.
Meiro nods. "Yes! Riku's there too! Plus, I'm assuming his siblings! Hanao, and another person I don't know…".
Hotaru looks over Yang's shoulder, curious. Hotaru's eyes shrink. "Eita…" He says.
Yang looks at him. "Another fuck buddy of yours?"
Hotaru shakes his head "Nope. He's my adoptive brother." Says Hotaru.
"I thought your family died"
"He didn't…when they did… Let's just say he was there for me…."
Meiro joins in, "wait, hold up." He glares at Hotaru. "Bitch are you fucking my older brother?" asks Meiro.
Hotaru blinks. "If you mean if I'm currently inside him. No. We did have a couple rounds, though." Yang elbows him. "Shut up." Says Yang as Hotaru shrugs it off.
Meiro stares horrified at Hotaru. "WHAT'S WITH YOU FUCKING 23 YR OLDS WHO ARE OLDER BROTHERS AND TWINS?! FIRST RIKU'S BROTHER NOW MINE?!" he screams.
Hotaru chuckles. "Not my fault your boy-toy's brother took a liking to me. Also not my fault that your older brother is attractive."
Meiro glares. Yang gets involved. "Boys. Stop." He says.
Yang looks at Meiro. "You can't judge me. No going after as you know him, Hiroshi." He says.
Meiro blinks “As I kno-“ “Meiro.” Yang cuts off Meiro.
Hotaru holds in laughter, Yang glares at him. "As for you. If you harm any of my brothers or tease Meiro ever again. That'll be our last fuck." Says Yang.
Hotaru glares at him. "You know it won't be."
Yang glares back at him, "Try me bitch."
Hotaru slightly growls. Dammit, he's harder to convince…he thinks.
Yang looks back to Meiro. "Is Arkridge closed off?" He asks
"Uhh, that I do not know." Answers Meiro quietly.
Yang facepalms, "OK. Everything is fine."
"What should we do?"
Hotaru rolls his eyes. Why do I enjoy fucking him again? He's so dull..he thinks. Yang thinks then smirks. "We're not getting involved. Yet." He says darkly.
Hotaru's smile widens. Ah, there it is. Smart but hella devious. The type I like. He thinks.
Meiro glares "what?! Why not?! Riku's there! Yin is there! Why aren't we going to help them?!"
"We get in involved now. Xota will surely fall. Then where will the seven escapees and residents of Voxfell go if they fail? It's called thinking like a leader Meiro." Explains Yang looking towards his youngest brother.
Meiro looks down and nods in agreement. Yang then smirks. "Plus, I want to see Yin break and ask for help."
Meiro sweatdrops, and Hotaru chuckles. "Attractive Yang~," says Hotaru.
Meiro grows a tick. "STOP TRYING TO GET IN MY BROTHER'S PANTS! AGAIN."
A group of villains sat at a semi-circle table. As they silently watch the Livestream. A light-blue man with lots of dried skin stares.
"So…they are alive…" he says, a blonde woman with yellow eyes giggles. "OH GOODY!~" she chirps.
A lizardman smiles. "This'll be interesting…" he says. A man with white hair stays quiet.
A man with a mask looks at the light-blue-haired man. "What should we do, Tomura?" he asks.
The man known as Tomura smiles. "Nothing. Master doesn't want us to do anything. Yet." Says Tomura.
"Besides, I think Dabi over here wants to see his children alive for the time being." Adds Tomura looking over to the white-haired man.
Dabi looks away, refusing to say anything. The blonde woman giggles, "I don't blame him. I don't see my baby boy around…Neither your daughters nor son Tomura!~".
Tomura smiles “Your right, Toga. Spinner's daughter isn't around either."
Dabi looks over to the masked man. "Compress your son is on a mission, right?" he asks.
"Why, of course. He's a smart lad, of course." Says Compress. "Aww, worried they'll run into him? Don't worry, I do feel sorry if they do."
Dabi smirks "heh. I think otherwise. Those eight kids are mine. They won't back down."
Spinner joins in "Unless…he takes over. Plus, Overhaul's son is with them. If Jouhei does run into them. Yin won't allow him to get any closer."
Dabi looks to the screen as the two continue their argument. He focuses on Heisu, who is struggling with a spirit. Don't…let him take over Hei…thinks Dabi hopefully.
~In a dark place, like Broken Helm Hallow in Skyrim~
A man with a mask and auburn hair with a shadow covering his eyes. A white-haired male with arrows as hair was to the right of him. A woman with short multi-colored hair on his left.
"So…boss…whose the ponytail with glasses, girl?" asks the woman.
The masked male looks to her as he moves his newly reversed arms. "That person is not a girl. They are a male. His name is Yin."
The white-haired male looks to him. "Yin…that means Meiro and Yang are coming soon then."
The woman looks at the masked man. "Who?" she asks.
The white-haired man answers for him, "His three sons. Two are twins, and third is the youngest and the one he has with me." He answers.
The auburn masked man looks behind him. "Good job, Eri. I'm not surprised you came back to me".
A light-blue-haired young woman with a yellow horn on her forehead sits on the ground. She turns to the masked man. "Aizawa-sensei is gone…Shinsou he no longer has a quirk…Deku… isn't the same anymore…Mirio… he's gone…" she says.
The masked man looks back onto the screen. "I understand that…the brat isn't the same anymore." He focuses on Yin "…I thank you for my renewed youth and arms. Now…I can put some sense into the boys."
The white-haired male looks to him. "Don't. You'll just make them not trust you even more."
The woman looks at Yin. "He isn't that bad of a looker." She says.
The masked man gets up and walks over to a bird-beak-shaped mask. Picking it up, he pulls his black mask off and replaces it with a bird-beak-shaped one.
A father has to….
The shadow lifts, revealing yellow
"And the three
Brought…shame onto my
~ back with the group~
Mitsuki holds Haruki “Ha! You all enjoying the spirits?!" He says. Haruki struggles. Mitsuki growls and pulls a knife, and stabs Haruki's arm. Haruki screams in pain. His older siblings freeze, and their slit eyes become thin.
Heisu growls out, "You son of a bit-"suddenly he became dizzy.
You know you want me to help.
Heisu freezes. "N-No...Dark phoenix…" He shuts out.
You need my help Hei.
Don't ignore me.
Heisu falls to his knees as his white hair covers his eyes. Zen rids of the spirit she was fighting and turns to Heisu. "HEISU! DON'T LET HIM!!!" she looks around and notices Hato near Heisu.
Suddenly, purple flames ignited in the Back of Heisu. Forming wings, Mitsuki smiles. "HA! THERE HE IS! THOU SHALT RETURN DARK PHOENIX!!!" he shouts. Hato moves away from the flaming wings, a tiny bit catching on fire, Hato panics. Satori puts the fire out of her older brother's branch out.
Todoroki Heisu his quirk- dark phoenix. Like his sister, he can create flame wings to attack people. Through the difference is that he won't get burnt, and the flames are hotter. He can also feel vibrations from the heat radiated around him. He also has telekinesis, and he can control the fire and form anything he wants from fire. He is the 4th fastest in his family, behind Hato, Riku, and Satori.
"Thanks, Satori…" he pants out as he regains his breath.
"No problem! SO UH KOU, SAI THE FUCK DO WE DO ABOUT THAT?!" she shouts, pointing to Heisu.
Riku walks up to him “H-Heisu? Are you alright?"
Zen pulls Riku back automatically. "That's not Heisu anymore…."
Hanao looks at her and then remembers then stays silent. He looks away, Yin turns to Sai and Kouten.
"What do you mean that's not Heisu anymore?!" asks Kouten to Zen as he grabs her shoulder, turning her to him.
"Heisu has a split personality disorder…when he uses his quirk, he becomes a new person…" answers Zen.
Mitsuki laughs, "YOU SHOULD'VE LISTEN TO MY SISTER SAISHO! SHE SAID DITCH THEM. YOU DIDN'T LISTEN! NOW HAVE FUN WITH YOUR LITTLE BROTHER, RIGHT?! ZEN, YIN! REMEMBER THIS!" he shouts, showing a container.
Yin and Zen freeze. "It can't be…How is it finished!?" asks Yin.
Mitsuki smiles. "While you seven were living your lives…Orklas finished this in the two years!"
Sai looks at Zen and Yin. "What is it?" he asks the duo.
Mitsuki throws the container, and it sizzles. "See for yourself, emochickens!" says Mitsuki.
A hot, pink-colored gas emits from the container. The emochickens, Hanao, and Eita sniff it. "It smells good…like Lotus flowers…" says Eita.
Hanao recognizes the pleasant fruity smell, water wells up in his green eyes, and he begins coughing This gas! Yang used it on Yin and Zen two years ago! When he wasn't on their side! It was unfinished, though… Thinks Hanao as he glances for the duo.
Then a white wing covers Hanao's mouth and rushes them both out the pink gas. He turns to see Hato panting. "You…got me out??" asks Hanao.
Hato smiles. "Why wouldn't I? You're a friend…" Hanao looks down "…Thank you.".
"No problem…I couldn't find Zen or Yin. You were the closest to me along with Riku..." he says as he looks over to Riku, who is trying to steady his breathing to calm himself.
Kouten came out of the gas, covering Eita's mouth. Kouten released the breath he was holding in and pants. Eita breathes fresh air. "Thank you, Kouten…" says Eita. Kouten lifts his finger up and regains his breathing.
"welcome, Eita…" says Kouten as he hugs Eita, then he pushes him away in a panic. "WHERE'S RIKU, HATO, HARUKI, SATORI, SAI, AND ZEN?!" he shouts. Eita sweatdrops, "and there it is. The big brother-mama bear is awakened."
Hato raises his wing. "Over here! Riku and I are over here!" he says. Kouten rushes over. "ARE YOU BOTH OK?!" he shouts.
Hato sweatdrops "I'm fine! Riku is too." He says, trying to calm the man down.
"WHERE'S EVERYONE ELSE?!"
Hato sighs "Haruki is captured, Heisu is…in there still with Zen and Sato-"
"UP HERE WITH SAI!!" shouts/cuts off Satori as she was flying carrying Sai with one hand. Kouten takes a deep breath.
"So what exactly is this gas?" asks Hato to Hanao.
"before Yang was on their side, he used it to make Zen and Yin snap into insanity mode for a few seconds…If it's finished, that means Orklas got ahold of the recipe…" explains Hanao. Eita looks at Hanao. "So…They might not be on our side?" asks Eita.
"I hope not…This gas is weaker…but I don't know…if it'll make it worse for them." Says Hanao.
Suddenly the gas broke, and Heisu goes flying out of the gas with a scratch mark on his cheek "Crazy ass bitch!" angrily says Heisu.
Flying right out following him were blue flame wings. "What's wrong, Dark Phoenix? Afraid you'll lose to me?" says Zen with some blood dripping from her sharpen talons.
Dark Phoenix freezes in fear. Zen couldn't care if she went beyond her 20-25 min mark. She couldn't feel much pain any way she won't for a while. The flame wings crinkled as the wings flap.
Dark Phoenix relaxes and growls. "I was never afraid of you…" he says, creating his own sword from purple flames.
Zen creates a blue flame feather sword "that'll be fun then," she says with a massive smirk on her face and a murderous glint in her teal eyes.
Hanao blinks. "I believe she's on our side for now, at least until she beats Heisu into his senses. I don't know about Yin, though…" he says.
Mitsuki growls, "Dammit! Misu! Get the nomus!" he orders through his earpiece. He throws the hurt Haruki to the side and begins to summon more spirits to attack the rest.
Spikes appear on the ground, almost hitting everyone. Everyone bearly dodges the points resulting in wounds and ripped clothes. Satori, Riku, and Hato use their wings to defend their siblings and friends. When the dust settled, it showed Yin without his glasses and glaring at them. Hanao freezes. He hadn't seen Yin without his glasses in so long. Usually, that means he went insane. Kouten and Sai start up a fire in their hands.
"The hell you doing, dumbass! We're on your side!" says Kouten. Hanao grabs Kouten's sleeve. "He isn't on anyone's side. He only knows Zen is his ally!" says Hanao.
Sai growls. "So you're telling me Yin and Zen aren't themselves?" he asks.
Eita connects the dots. "The gas you said it will wear off, right?" he asks.
"It's weaker but more advanced…but yes, but that be hours…" says Hanao as the group flies/dodges another wave of spikes.
"Hanao, he should tire outright?" asks Hato as he notices nomus flying to him and pulling two long feathers and sharpening them. Hato stabs the flying nomu's throats as they come at him.
Hanao jumps on the spikes as more keep coming. "Yea! Even that could take while Yin and Yang have trained their stamina to the max to keep using their quirks!" explains Hanao.
Kouten finishes burning a nomu crawling to him. "Hey, at least he hasn't moved from the spot!" says Kouten. Eita uses his light in his tail to create a scorpion to attack the spirits around him.
"Don't jinx it." Says Eita, Satori, attacking other nomus around Hanao when she notices Yin gone. "HE MOVED HE MOVED!" shouts Satori.
Eita focused on the spirits and overlooks Yin behind him, about to dropkick him. Kouten barely notices. "Eita! Move!" he shouts.
Eita turns and notices Yin when someone kicked his stomach. Yin falls, clutching his stomach groaning.
"Whoops. Sorry, you may be Yang's twin, and you look exactly like him, but I can't let that pass." Says a familiar voice. Eita looks up to see black hair and purple eyes. Everyone freezes. "Hotaru..." whispers Eita.
Hato stops what he was doing and notices the familiar man "Hiroshi…" he says under his breath.
Hotaru looks up and sees Hato. "Oh. Hey Hato. Looking good as always. How are you handling yourself?" asks Hotaru with a smile.
Hato growls, "Don't act normal with me, Hiroshi! You douchebag!!" says Hato throwing a feather at him.
Hotaru smiles more and dodges the feather. "Ah. So fine? Red is a lovely color on you."
Hato growls more, and Satori stops him. "Calm down! Calm Down!"
Hotaru kneels to get a better look at Yin "…Meh. Yang is hotter. Probably better in bed too. Through you hella have better fashion taste." He says.
"Why are you here, Hiroshi?" asks Riku as he glares at him. Hotaru chuckles and gets up. "Ah. Hato, your little brother has a voice. You told me he was quiet. To answer your question, Riku. Eita is my elder adoptive brother. I rather keep my remaining family."
Kouten growls, "How can he put up with you from what Riku told me you hurt Hato! You're a villain too!" he says.
Hato looks to Riku. "You told him?"
Riku shutters, "H-he's very persuasive…."
Hotaru sighs "you're asking me this. Listen, Dabi 2.0, you are a villain too, ya know."
Kouten tries to counter, but Eita gives him the "don't" look. The sane emochickens look to Kouten.
"You're a villain?"
"Uhhh, No?" says Kouten sheepishly. Sai sighs. "OK, stop. Yin's getting up again." He says.
Yin, this time vanishes and appears far from the group. Preparing another attack, but a scarf appears and wraps itself around him. Yin gets thrown to the ground harshly.
"Sorry lil' bro. I can't allow that." Says another voice. Yang swings down and lands on top of his twin.
Hotaru smiles shifts into a smirk "Ah…Yang, your so perfect!~" he chirps.
Eita sighs. "Why am I not surprised you go on to fuck another guy?" he asks, rubbing his eyes.
Hotaru wolf whistles. "The man is pretty. Better than Yin anyways."
Yin growls and uses spikes to throw Yang off balance. Yang uses his scarf to tie Yin up and throws him to another area. "Let's take this somewhere private, bro. Meiro, protect your boy!" says Yang as he vanishes from the view of the group.
Riku blinks weirdly. "Protect me...?" asks Riku, not noticing the nomu coming from behind him.
"RIKU MOVE!" shouts Satori as she continues to wrestle the nomu attacking her.
Riku barely turns to see a brown arrow slicing the nomu overhauling it into nothing. The needle goes back to the holder. Meiro runs and lands on a spike left by his half-brother "Heyo Riri," says Meiro.
Riku blushes. "Thank you, Meiro…" he says. Meiro smiles cockily. "No problem Ri." He says.
"aww, cute. Now- NOMUS," says Satori as she slashes a nomu's throat.
Meanwhile, Dark Phoenix and Zen clashed. Their flames still burning as they attack each other.
Zen smirks. "Ha! This is hard, Dark Phoenix?! Child, I've killed high-ends better than you."
Dark Phoenix growls and collects flames and throws them at her. Zen bearly dodges. I can't keep this up. Too much heat and I'll burn myself…thinks Zen as she thinks of away. She turns Hanao and Eita, fending off the nomus. Then notices Yin and Yang fighting in another area.
She looks to the side and sees Mitsuki as he laughs. Seeing another blast of fire, she flies up and looks to Yin and Yang again. Insanity only shows your allies thinks Zen as she scrambles to attack Dark Phoenix.
I'm going to need help, Yin…she begins to think then shouts, "SO WAKE UP YIN! LOOK AT WHO YOUR FIGHTING!" calls Zen as She dodges a flame slash from Dark Phoenix getting nicked in the arm.
Yin freezes as he gets a hazy view of his opponent. Then something snapped into sanity, Yin regains his blurry outline of his twin brother, and he zips to Mitsuki attacking him directly. "You son of a bitch…" he says.
Mitsuki freezes as the color from his tanned skin turn pale. Yin is perceived as a terrifyingly protective individual of the people he values. After Yang sighs of relief when he realizes Misu staring at him. Yang turns to her. "What?" he asks.
Misu freezes as Yang asks her. Misu's point of view she has the tendency to slip into the future of a specific person. For Yang, she found a discerning future. Something even she thought was impossible. She had seen many ends and killed the starter to stop them.
Misu pulls a futuristic gun and aims it at Yang. "The future I see that you start is disturbing!! You must go!" says Misu.
She shoots, Yang dodges and appears in front of her. Grabbing her neck, he lifts her up.
"The future I start? I'm interested." Says Yang with an evident smile under his mask. He grips her throat more. "Tell me more."
Misu coughs and drops her gun with a singular eye open "I… won't tell you!" she rasps out.
Yang's smile disappears, removing his mask. He uses his mouth to remove his close to skin color gloves. He then puts his hand on her arm. "I suggest you tell me. I rather not unneeded blood on me. I have an arrangement with Hotaru later. Frankly, I don't think he has a blood kink."
Chisaki Yang, his quirk organic overhaul. In contrast to his twin, who overhauls inorganic things. Yang can rebuild living and organic items. Because of this, if someone is hurt, he can disassemble them or the wound and resemble it. As his brother, it takes up lots of stamina. He recovers it by sleeping. He can reassemble himself as well. Because of the quirk, Yang wears gloves since so many are organic. It's a highly powerful quirk.
Misu becomes scared for her life. "Child…that shouldn't…exist…" she rasps out.
Yang stares at her with a dead look "Child, that shouldn't exist?"
"World? Ha. I could care less about that. I only care about Xota, Voxfell, and the people I care about. To an extent."
"She…has your genes…."
"My genes? A child that shouldn't exist…Sounds fun."
Misu moves her free arm and covers Yang's face. Yang snaps his eyes open into a room, he hears rushing water. Water to his right, he realized his blurry reflection. It showed the underwater, shimmering rocks of different sizes, a few dull ones, green submerged plants, two placed fallen trees, and many beautiful koi fish of various kinds. Along the bottom, some black and white pillars with u algae on them with different turtles swimming all around with the Koi. Yang looks up and sees the surface of the waters, which had water lotuses of different colors. Some cattails here and there when Yang realized the black crystals poking out of the water. He turns to the left to see the same thing, then he sees a long waterfall with many black crystals poking out of it.
Yang was confused then begins to walk a walkway, huh? This a room for peace and quiet probably, thinks Yang. Looking forward at the end of the walkway, he sees a 6'6 pale blonde with a black ripped hoodie and a 5'6 female with auburn hair fading to black at the ends wearing a short black and accented red Chinese dress with blue lotus flowers.
Yang walks closer as he does. He looks at the female. A shadow covers her eyes, Yang stares at her. She has delicate attractive features remaining him of someone. By looking at her, you wouldn't expect much, yet Yang senses authority coming off her. The male's energy is…questionable. Yang couldn't get a specific feel…it felt dangerous but…stupid.
Then he was back in the present holding Misu by her neck. He throws the weak lady to the ground. He glares at Misu and lies, "I didn't see anything, dumbass." He pulls his mask up and takes his other glove off.
Yang turns to leave and help others with the nomus. Misu stares up into the sky "who…were those two…?" She asks.
Zen quickly lands on the spiked temple to puts her wings out, some burns already stretching from her back. She coughs and takes deep breaths to calm herself. Dark Phoenix was still out and was currently looking for her. Dark Phoenix lands and begins walking around the area Zen is hiding. A dark chuckle escapes his mouth with a crooked smile. "Oh, Oh Zen…This seems familiar…" he says.
Zen notices his shadow coming close to her hiding spot. She quickly moves from sight. Not answering, she stays hidden. Her siblings, allies, and friends were all busy fighting the nomus. Yin was trying to get at Mitsuki, so it was her vs. Dark Phoenix. She needed to take a breather before he found her hiding spot.
Dark Phoenix smiles with a crooked look. He clicks his tongue in disappointment "My my sis…I thought you would care a little bit…" He says.
Zen steadies her breaths. He will never replace Heisu…Thinks Zen.
Dark Phoenix growls, "You know I hate this game! You always run and hide from your problems!" He says with venom laced into his voice.
Zen silently growls. He knows nothing of what she went through.
"Ya know! Hei never understood why he was a victim." The crooked smile grows
Zen steadies her breaths into short breaths as she almost makes her breaths bearly heard. Dark Phoenix's crooked smile disappears. "You worthless bitch…" he growls. As he finds her and drags her out harshly, "You and Yin allowed so much to happen to us, and you didn't even stop it from happening."
Zen elbows and throws Dark Phoenix into a wall. "You don't know shit. Yin and I tried to help you all, but they wouldn't let us help you." Explains Zen, walking to Dark Phoenix.
Dark Phoenix spits out blood and glares at her. "Jeez, you would hurt your own little brother? What a nice big sister…."
Dark Phoenix lunges at her, failing to grab her. He loses his footing, then regains it. He shoots some flame needles at Zen. Zen holds in, screaming, but tears do well up in her eyes. She collapses as the flame needles burn her giving her more burns. Opening one teal eye, she stares. "Heisu…I know you're in there…You know we did want to get you away from the scientists!" Dark develops a purple flame feather sword. He runs to Zen and lifts the sword in front. "HEISU ISN'T HERE NOW!!!"
Zen closes her eye; the burning wasn't as painful anymore. Slow breaths as she inhales and exhales from her lips. At least her pain will finally be over but not by the fate she had hoped would happen in the end. Through maybe just maybe, with her death, her siblings, Yin, Hanao, and her friends, will be free from her Mindset. A soft smile grazes her lips, her heart beating softly to her sweet escape.
She got to see her family one last time as she feels heat nearing her face. I wish I got to know Sai and everyone more before I go…everyone I…hope you still accept Hei for who he is…
Nothing happened. She didn't see the flame nor the burning sensation. Zen turns and sees Dark struggling to bring the flaming blade down on Zen. He looked shocked in the terms that he was resisting.
"What the-How?!" says Dark with annoyance in his voice. The flame feather goes out, and a shadow covered Dark's eyes when he lifted them up. A shining golden yellow eye replaced the dull gold yellow.
Heisu's eyes narrow in anger at his elder sister. "WHAT DID YOU ALWAYS SAY TO ME?!" he shouts. Zen says nothing as she stares at him.
"NO ONE WOULD FAZE YOU!! SO THAT THEY WOULD COME AT YOU WITH ALL THEY'VE GOT!" Shouts Heisu as his purple flame wings ignites, and his eyes stayed shining, with no dullness in them.
"YOU KNOWN AS VENGEANCE AND RETRIBUTION! YOU DRAGGED ALL YOUR VICTIMS INTO UNDERHELL!!!!"
Zen's eyes shine once again as she ignites her flame and smiles. "That's my brother," she says. Heisu helps her and looks to the sky where Hato, Riku, Meiro, and Satori fought. They nod at each other fly up.
Hato, while busy with a nomu, was struggling not to notice one come behind him, only for a blue flame feather to go through it. Hato snaps his head to see Zen throwing nomus to the ground and stabbing them.
"Zen…I thought you wouldn't be on our side…" he says, killing the nomu he was attacking.
Zen turns to him with a smile. "Why in the hell would I hurt my own twin Hato…" she says. "I'm also not alone…" she points behind her to show Heisu getting rid of two nomus trying to make sure Dark doesn't take over again.
Meiro smiles. "Damnnn, I thought that gas would keep them at each other's throats." He says.
Riku looks to Heisu. "Yea…I thought I wouldn't see them both. Only one of them."
Satori cheers “HELL FUCKEN YEAH! NOW WE GOT TO GET HARUKI OUT OF THIS MESS!!"
Heisu scans the ground looking for Haruki when he finds him and lands next to the scared Haruki. "Haruki! I'm so sorry that we didn't get to you sooner…we had some complications…" he says, kneeling to his little brother. Haruki looks at Heisu with scared teary eyes. "I-I can't do anything for you all! I'm so useless! I got caught, revealed you guys were alive, got hurt, and started this battle!" he says.
The older looks, proceeding hug him "everyone makes mistakes…I should know…I was doing so well with concealing Dark…Then I let him take over and almost killed Zen a few seconds ago…."
Haruki holds tears in. Heisu pats his head. "You…are so young to be here…You are very brave…especially for your age…" he says. "If you need to cry, then cry…."
Haruki clutches onto his brother and begins to cry, "I'm s-so scared. Hei… Don't t-turn into him again!"
Heisu smiles and rakes his fingers through Haruki's soft fluffy wings. Haruki smiles softly at the kind gesture to calm him. While hugging, Haruki realizes that Heisu was heating up pretty bad from using his wings. Haruki cooled his wings up and wrapped them around Heisu. "Your overheating… We're covered by some leftover spikes..."
Heisu looks to Haruki "Yin?" he asks.
Haruki nods. "He seems pissed…."
Heisu arches his eyebrows in confusion and worries, "How pissed?"
Haruki looks over the spikes and motions to Yin and Mitsuki. Yin had a visible glare in his yellow eyes similar to a relative to his…He was choking Mitsuki with pure rage.
"On a scale of 1-10?
way beyond 10…."
Saisho/Sai belongs to @ulti-mal
Kouten belongs to @hairuko
Hato belongs to @juniperarts
Satori belongs to @fioresacros
Haruki belongs to @/_falyy on twitter
Riku, Meiro & Hotaru to @diizaren
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BING! BING! BING! The annoying ear piercing alarm clock goes off waking me up. I take my clumsy half asleep arm and hit the alarm clock accidently knocking it to the floor. “Sara it’s time to get up,” I hear my mom yelling from downstairs. I get up slowly going over to my dresser. I pull out a black t-shirt and jeans. I go to the bathroom and get changed. I brush my long black hair into a ponytail. I opened the door and headed down stairs and into the coffee shop where my best friend Janele was sitting having breakfast. My mom comes up to me and hands me a paper bag for my lunch. “Thank you,” I responded. I walked over to where Janele was sitting. I sit across from her and she asks me if I want to go to the library with her after school today. I responded “yes,” but little did I know that it was going to be the biggest mistake in my life.
After school we go to the liberry. I pickedz up a book with an interesting title. The librarian comes over and says, “are you sure that that's the book you want?” I responded “yes.” I quietly walked away, I checked out the book, and the clerk slipped a piece of paper in the back to remind me when to return it. “Come on girl.” Let's go, it's getting late,” Janele yelled. I leave the library with her . When I come back home I go up stairs, I put on a tank top and some soccer shorts that were my sister’s, I climb in bed and I start reading my book, but then I fall asleep wishing I never did. When I wake up I'm shivering. It took me a minute to realize that I'm no longer in my room. I'm in a very cold place almost like Antarctica. I stand up with snow all over me and my skin as red as an apple. “Put your hands up Right now!” I hear someone yelling. I think to myself this is just great, but then I realize that the voice wasn't talking to me, the voice was talking to someone else. I move slowly to check it out, shivering. Then I hear someone yelling not another step. I slowly turn around and I see a woman with some sort of gun. She has a furry jacket on and long red hair. I put my hands up, and I say to the women I'm not a threat. My name is Sara Veras. I'll get out of here as soon as I know where here is. Another woman comes out from behind me, and says she's not from around here. Since she has shorts on the other women says she says her name is skyler laranny leader of the starganes and, she points to the other one and says that's julie landerson my second in charge I respond um im just from earth is there anyway I can get back there I ask. Julie responds that earth was destroyed about three years ago. Skyler asks what year do you think it was in 1998 when Skyler and Julie Ecstange looked and knew I was in trouble. Julie says it's 2001 I slowly start to back up then I turn around and run as fast as I can I don’t know where I was going but I just knew I had to get out of there something wasn't right I could feel it but, soon everything went dark. When I wake up I'm on a bed and I have a nice warm blanket on me. I sit up and I hear a voice that says doctor saras awake. I begin to panic again. I look at my arm and my burning red skin is no longer there and that didn't help any. I start having trouble breathing. The doctor comes over to me and tells me to take in deep breaths he takes out some sort of needle. I take my hand and try to take it but it didn't work he injects it into my skin and I feel better I ask him where am I what happened he responds and says that julie and sky found me collapses on the ground in the southern part and they are looking for answers at the library on how you got hear but, I must ask what is the last thing do you remember from earth I respond laying on my bed reading a book then I probably fell asleep why I ask they think it might help for some reason he hands me some clothes and says this is the best we could come up with from your time put this on and meet me outside. I'm going to take you to the liberry I put on a yellow short sleeve crop top that's a little short, light blue jeans, and a rubber band for my hair I get dressed and head outside were the doctor was waiting come on let's go julie already hates me I don’t need her to hate me more. I ask if Julie is his boss and he just looks at me and keeps walking. We go towards this old break building that looks like it's been there forever . When we walk in there are books everywhere. It's like I died and this is heaven. Skyler lets out a small laugh and says it’s not that impressive you should see the one in the city. The doctor asks if you have found anything yet Julie responds yes and it’s bad. I ask what it is as I walk around looking at all of the books. Julie says you can never go back home and you have to travel two more times before you can settle down. I stop looking and drop to my knees and we don’t know when the next time travel incident will be I ignored her I just wanted my sister raily I just sat there crying skyler comes over and
hugs me but it doesn't help I just want to scream but I can’t I want to run but my legs won't move I just sit there. When finnlay skyler says that no matter what happens try to go to the southern side of stargana that's where we will look for you we will also have a box buried in the snow for you by the tree that was next to you when we found you ok I just look up and shake my head yes I stand up and leave the building. Julie goes after me and starts walking next to me. She takes my arm and we head to a small hut I walk in and she tells me how to use a machine that can make anything I want and also I have a computer that I can ask it anything. Once she leaves I ask the computer how was earth destroyed the computer responds it wasn't destroyed there was a pleg called COVID-19 that was made in China by humans it wiped out the human race there was only three survivors, that were somehow transported to another time to another planet but they all died shortly after, from the virus. All but one Sara Veras shocked I ask the computer who made the device the computer responds the starganens made i- computer stop I yell I start crying and I end up on the floor against the wall with my head in my knees when I get up I go to the machain and fix me a tub of chocolate ice cream and a spoon I lay down on my bed and eat it right out of the tub. When I finished I went back to the machain and made a backpack, clothes, canned food, trankies, and water. I shoveled it all in there somehow. I put it on my back and I run as fast as I can stupid I know but I cuoldnt trust anyone not even myself. I somehow ended back up at the southern side again but, this time it was different. It seemed colder if that's possible. I start walking in the freezing cold thinking I should have really come up with a plan. I started walking back the way I came but it didn’t help that I wasn’t paying attention so now I'm lost on a freezing planet in the middle of nowhere. What's going to happen next birds flying backwards? I slowly began to walk back trying to remember how I got here. When I hear BING BING BING it sound a lot like footsteps I quickly run and hide behind a big tree when I feel a tap on my shoulder I turn around and it’s Julie she looks at me and says don’t worry there harmless then she said you time traveled again it’s year 2132 I must have looked shocked because she says i’m not human remember it will be a very long time before I die. Come on let's go she handed me a soft furry jacket I put it on and she asks better I respond yes thank you I ask if the doctor and skyler are still alive she responds yes and that you missed a great wedding I asked her who got married and she just grinned at me and kept walking when we arrive she shows me to a tall glass building come on lets go I walk in taking a deep breath thinking here we go again. We walk in and I see skyler wearing some sort of armor, her hair in a bob, and a black bracelet good to see you again how long has it been a few centres apparently she laughs a little and says I have good news we figured out a way to send you home but we have to wait for the time travel we don’t know where your ended up but we do know this it will be tonight keep this with you what is it I ask she says instructions for me or whoever is in charge she pats me on the shoulder and walks away. Next thing I know im back in the middle of nowhere I start to walk When I hear nice to see you again I look behind me and it’s Julie she says in case you're wondering its year 2321 and your still alive I respond yup she says I hand her the plane to get me home and she says i’m glad you minted that because if were going to do this we have to do this know I ask why she says because we're evacuading stargana what's going on I ask she says sometimes no matter how advance you are you can’t win you have to leave everything and give up NO you can’t do that I yell at her and says we don’t have a choice im sorry lets go next thing I know i'm on a ship under heavy fire NOW she yells I get sucked into some sort of black hole and then i’m home on
the floor of my room with the book in my hand my sister comes up stairs and say what did you do now I jump up and hug her as tight as I can never wanting to let go are you ok she ask i’m fine oh i’m going to the liberry to return this book do you want to come I ask her no i'm good thanks for asking she responds. I head to the liberry and mr. landerson says you were in the book went you I respond yes shokly he says I was to it didn’t change my mind from being a liberan but this might change you I mean you are a 16 year old in 12th grade he smiles at me I smile back and hand him the book and leave. Ten years have passed since then. I'm now in outer space in the first colonization ship launched. We went to a planet called rentza 159 and were next door neighbors to stargana. I guess everything ended well in the ended.
MANHATTAN MADNESS by Chili Peeler
Jim Andrews stared through the window of the plane as it came in for a landing at LaGuardia. He had never seen anything as impressive as the island of Manhattan; it looked like every square inch of the island was filled with a skyscraper. At 17 years of age, the biggest city he had ever been to had been Des Moines. When his sister, Elizabeth, had written to him and asked him if he wanted to come visit her, he'd jumped at the chance. He felt the same urge as Elizabeth had; to get out of the backwater burg his family lived in back in eastern Nebraska. He admired the way Elizabeth had just tore out one night, leaving a note for their parents that she was going to travel and see what else was out there in the world. That had been 3 years ago and no one in the family had seen her since. Occasionally a postcard would come, addressed to him, from different cities around the country. Chicago, New Orleans, Dallas......but never with a return address. Then, a few weeks ago, a letter. And then a week later, a round trip ticket from Topeka.
The plane was coming in low now over the Long Island Sound. He'd studied a map in the family Encyclopedia Britannia; probably outdated but he doubted they had changed the name of the Sound. He looked over again at Manhattan, still not believing his sister had made it this far from home. Jim came out of the airplane entrance ramp, walking in the midst of other passengers. He moved forward, swinging his head from side to side, looking for Beth. He tried to keep in mind, as he scanned the faces around the gate, that his sister was sure to have changed in the three years she'd been gone. The crowd began to thin away, people meeting their families and heading for the baggage claim. Jim was beginning to feel dumb, standing there with his head swiveling around. "Jim?!" He looked around and there she was - his big sister, Elizabeth. Man, had she ever changed! When she's left, she'd had short brown hair and the fashion sense of any other teenaged girl from eastern Nebraska, namely jeans and T-shirts. But now there was a wild looking girl....no, woman...in tight black Lycra pants, a bright red half-shirt that let her stomach bare and a tan suede jacket with lots of tassels swinging everywhere. Her hair was now blondish, long, over her shoulders with a tight curl. "Look at my baby brother - all grown up!" Beth said as she ran up to him and gave him a big hug which he returned with equal affection. "Beth, man, I've missed you..look at you!" He let her go and motioned to her attire. "You look like a fashion model or something." "What, these old things!" Beth laughed. "When in New York, do as the Yorkers do. Come on, let's go get your bags. I'm sorry I was late...it was hell getting a taxi today." "You don't have a car?" Jim said. "No one in New York has a car. There's barely enough room for the people. You'll see. This the most remarkable city in the world..... Tomorrow I can show you around, do the tourist thing." "Sounds good to me." Jim said as they headed down the concourse. In the cab on the way to Elizabeth's place, they caught up a little on the three intervening years. Elizabeth asked about the old town, the high school, if he knew anything about any of her old friends. Jim pumped her for the things she had seen on her travels, how she liked New York, etc. Beth seemed to want to steer away from the topic of why she hadn't kept in touch with the family more; she would just say that it was probably best for everyone, then added she hadn't wanted to worry them. "So, tell me, little brother, do you have a girlfriend back there?" "Well, I've had my share but I'm free at the moment. Why? You got someone you want to set me up with while I'm here?" "No, I was just wondering. When I left, you were still in the 'girl's are yucky' stage." Elizabeth laughed. "Yeah, well, I came to my senses." Jim smiled as the taxi slowed and pulled to the curb in front of tall brick building. "This is it." Beth said as she opened her door. A few minutes later, Beth was opening the door to her fifth story apartment loft. She walked in and hit the lights as her brother carried his case in. "Holy shit! This place is great." Jim complimented her as he looked around. The apartment had real high ceiling, wood floors, cool furniture. "Glad you like it. You can put your bag in here," Beth walked over to a door and turned on the light. He went into the bedroom and dumped his bag on the bed. The room was modern looking and clean. Overhead there was a skylight that was sure to let all the light in in the morning; sleeping in was going to be tough. "You'll be staying in here. This is my room usually. I'll be sharing my roommate's bedroom." "Roommate?" "Yeah, did you think I could afford this place by myself?" "I don't know. What kind of a job do you have?" Jim asked. "I'm a hostess at a club here in town. A really trendy place. It's private, in fact." "And what, you are on a salary?" "Yeah, but most
of the money comes from tips. The member's are loaded....it's really easy work. Just a lot of smiling. Anyway, I hope you're hungry, I'm going to make us some dinner." "I'm starving...all I got was some peanuts on the flight." "Good. Go ahead and unpack and I'll get things going." Beth left him, pulling off her suede coat as she went into the living area. Jim watched her leave and for the first time thought of how attractive Beth had become. She had to know that the clothes she wore left little to the imagination. The tight pants showed off her fine legs and cute bottom. Jim bet she played on her good looks at that club of hers, flashing a smile at the old codgers who'd give her a big tip just for the illusion of her maybe being attainable. Being blessed with good looks was a pretty easy way to get by in life but he couldn't hold that against Beth. It had gotten her away from Shitville, Nebraska. Jim put his clothes in some empty drawers and took his toiletries into the bathroom. Being a neat person by habit, he opened the medicine cabinet to see if there was enough room for his deodorant and shaver. And was surprised to find the cabinet totally empty. Not a bottle of pills, not a pair of tweezers, not a jar of nail polish - nothing. He opened the drawers by the sink and found them empty as well. The absence of any girlie items anywhere in the bathroom struck him as curious. He didn't think Beth had emptied everything out and taken it into her roommate's bathroom; no reason to go to all that trouble, just take the essentials over. The bathroom looked like it wasn't even being used. Jim stowed his stuff in the drawer, kicked off his shoes and went out to see what his sister was making for dinner. "Whoa! Who is this?" Jim said as he looked at a picture of his sister and another woman near the entrance to the kitchen. "Oh, that's Julie, my roommate....well, don't walk on your tongue!" Beth said as she took a bowl out of the cupboard. Julie looked like every man's ideal woman. In the picture, she was standing next to Beth with her arm around her shoulders. Beth was probably 5' 7". Unless Beth was standing in a hole, Julie must be at least 6' 2". Brunette, almost black hair, worn to mid-back with lots of body. Her face was attractive - not great, sorta tough looking but it certainly could be overlooked. But it was Julie's body from the neck down that probably stopped men in their tracks. Julie was stacked. Big round tits with a lot of cleavage showing. 'No way those are real,' Jim thought to himself. Hips that flared nicely, plenty of meat to grab onto there. Legs that looked like she had worn out a Stairmaster. 'She looks like a fuckin' superhero,' Jim thought. Finally he moved on into the kitchen where Beth was smiling at him knowingly. "Yeah, she gets that reaction a lot," Beth said as he leaned against the counter. "I bet she does. Is that all her?" Jim said as he motioned with his hand over his chest. "No.....but she says it was the best $5000 she ever spent." "$5000?! What kind of work does she do? That's a lot of money." "Well...she's an agent, I guess. She hooks people up." Beth said. "Like how?" Jim was intrigued. "Well, she sorta acts like a headhunter." Beth continued after Jim gave her a quizzical look. "She's like a talent agent, finding people for jobs." "Oh, I see." "Don't let her looks fool you," Beth said as she opened the refrigerator and handed him a beer, "Julie's a smart cookie, too." "So how did you two meet?" "At a gym. I was living with this guy for awhile, a real jerk as it turns out, but anyway, I could use his pass fro his health club. Julie and I just got talking and we hit it off. She's probably the best friend I've ever had. She pay's for the lionshare of the expenses for this place." "Well, you've really fallen in it here......penthouse apartment, good job...it sure beats milking the cows at 5 A.M." "Oh God, don't remind
me!" Beth said as she opened a beer for herself. Jim heard the front door open. Beth did too. "That must be Julie," she said to Jim. "JUUULLLEEESS!" "YEEAHH!" "Well, come and meet her," Beth said as she took her brother's hand. They exited the kitchen walking into the dining area and there she was - Julie and the picture didn't do her justice. She was looking through a stack of mail, wearing a form fitting short dress. She looked up then and jerked her head to the side, sending her hair over her shoulder. It was quick natural movement but Jim got the feeling she had waited until they could see her before she did it. "Julie, this is Jim." "So this is your little brother." Julie said as she walked over to them, the emphasis on the word 'little'. "I'd hate to see your 'big' brother." Jim liked the fact that Julie was complimenting him on his physique. He was 5' 11" with muscle from working long hours around the family farm. Julie extended her hand and Jim shook it. "Nice to meet you, Julie." he said and meant it, willing himself not to look at her fantastic chest. Julie could be fodder for many a night of masturbation. "You got a nice strong grip, Jim. You work out?" "Nah. Just work around the farm." he said. "Baling hay, other exciting stuff." "Yeah, Lizzie's told me all about the farm life." Julie said with a wry smirk. Julie bend slightly and gave Elizabeth a peck on her cheek. Elizabeth looked at Jim after it happened but then Julie continued, "So what do you kids have planned for tonight." Jim guessed Julie was maybe 30; certainly older than he at 17 and Elizabeth at 21. Being called a 'kid' made Jim twinge but he got the feeling that was just the way Julie was. Like she wanted to get a reaction. "Nothing tonight." Beth said. "I'm whipping up some dinner and I thought we'd just relax." "I just stopped by to get another pair of shoes," Julie said. "I've got a meeting later, so I'll have to pass on dinner. I'll be back around 11. You'll still be up, right?" "Oh sure, you know me." Beth replied. "All right then, I'll see you guys later." Julie walked off toward the door to the other bedroom on the other side of the apartment. Jim watched her bottom all the way. Beth punched him in the arm to bring him out of it. "You men are all alike!" she said giggling as she went back into the kitchen. Jim followed her. "So shoot me. There's nothing like that back on the farm....Lizzie." "Don't you start with the Lizzie, too. Julie started calling me that but I don't want it to catch on. Beth is just fine." Jim heard the front door open and close again as Julie headed back out into the city for her meeting. Beth was rooting around in the cupboard, pulling out spice bottles. "Dammit!" she said exasperated. "We're out of basil....I'm gonna run down to the market and get some. Without the basil, this dish just doesn't make it." "Hey, don't go to any trouble....." Jim said as he followed her out into the living area. "The market's just around the corner. I'll only be a few minutes." She grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. Left alone, Jim wandered around. He went outside on the patio that was off the dining area and looked at the surrounding buildings in the fading dusk. He went into the kitchen and lifted the lid on what Beth was preparing; it looked like an Italian sausage dish. He roamed into the livingroom and studied the prints on the walls; they were all of women, paintings by a guy named Nagel. They reminded him of some of the artwork in the front of Playboy magazines, mildly erotic. He was walking near the door to Julie's room and the door was open, so he poked his head in. The bedroom was larger than the one he was staying in; obviously this was the master bedroom of the apartment. Same skylight, a king-size bed with black and white bedding, same sliding door for the closet and the bathroom door in the same place as in the other
bedroom. Jim was going to move back out into the apartment when he noticed something very interesting sitting on the far bedside table. He couldn't be absolutely sure it was what he thought it was; a magazine was covering part of it. He was going to walk over and check it out but he heard a key being inserted in the front door. Quickly he moved a few feet to the nearby entertainment center and made like he was looking at their music selections as Elizabeth came through the door. "Told you that wouldn't take too long," she said as she pulled off her coat. "Come on and help me set the table." "Sure," Jim said as he followed her toward the kitchen. His thoughts, however, were on what he thought he had seen in Julie's bedroom. It had sure looked like there was a pair of handcuffs under that magazine.
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