#and yet constantly mock and are unable to take it seriously

[papirouge]

I can’t stop crying, I’ve lost more friends in Gaza… yet so many Christian evangelicals have yet to even mention that Christians in Gaza exist. Or if they do, it’s criticism and blaming Gaza for the genocide that’s happening. It’s as if they fully believe it’s a Jew/Muslim conflict when it’s not. It’s an idf-Hamas conflict.

I lost contact with one of my friends and haven’t been able to get any info. The terror keeps coming. And there was no where to go, it hurts. And I’m so angry at that Christians in the west just ignoring it all

.......... I'm really sorry anon...

I've never felt that powerless in my life, and my heart aches for all those people being murdered before our eyes, and the Christian community either condoning such heinous act or turning the head around... They will have to take accountability for their cowardice....

The body of Christ is ONE. If someone cuts your leg or hand, you will definitely feel it and your whole body is going to react to it. But Western Christians? They look away like the cowards that they are. Mind you, they are the same ones that are so suuuuure to resist the antichrist when he will come. Meanwhile, they are unable to voice the slightest support to our Christian brothers in Palestine out of fear... What kind of clownery is that? At least, I don't mind people refusing to cover any sort of world news bc they are consistent in their lane, but I'm thinking about all those Christians who have aaaaaalways so many things to say abt the latest stupid stunt in the news, the wokes, feminists, liberals... Suddenly they are VERY quiet. That's a choice. They are disgusting.

Even the anti Muslim/let's protect Christianism from Islam uwu Christian YouTuber squad are pulling out video exPoSinG Hamas while not saying a single word abt the Christian casualties (David Wood, Apostate Prophet, etc.) They are full of it, and I will never ever again take them seriously in their defense of Christianity in middle east when those ghouls don't even have a word to say about our Palestinian Christian brothers dying under Israeli strikes and PLEADING for our attention and prayers... They only care about Christians dying because of ISLAM, when they die for any other reason, they will defiect. Like, yeah, Hamas sucks - we been knew. What's the point of making 1 video a day about them? In what way does it remotely dismiss the atrocity of whatever's happening in Gaza???

It's so sick to see pro Israel constantly move the goalpost to paint themselves as the only victims, and worse, downplaying what's happening in Gaza.

They will deflect on antisemitism in pro Palestine protests (while acting like the very same didn't happen in pro Israel protests with the most rabid islamophobic genocidal crap), semantics about what Zionism is and whether it's antisemitism (meanwhile palestinians are literally DYING), that they don't care about Gaza as long as the hostage aren't fred (when if they actually really cared abt the hostages they wouldn't encourage Israel to bomb Gaza bc the actual hostages risk dying out there along the Hamas...🤦🏾‍♀️), or shouting "free Gaza from Hamas !!" as if any of that justified bombing civilians... oh and let's not forget the feminist/liberal edge of Israel defense with the "Palestianian are sexist/homophobic so there's no point defending them" stupid narrative....

I think the reason pro Israel are so bad in their rhetoric is that for years they've been used to leverage their Jewishness to get empathy and immunity against accountability.

But it's over now. We have social medias and we can witnessing in real time the horror of Tsahal actions. How they aren't any morally better than Hamas. We've seen the Israeli mocking Palestianians nit having water or food...

"you were quiet when the Hamas assassinated Israelis" we were quiet because this operation went so fast and that Israel quickly retaliated. There was no way to stop the Hamas bc NO ONE knew it was coming, so what did they expect us to do?? Just bc we don't say anything doesn't mean we approve. Do you see people condemn suicide/terrorist attacks whenever they happen?? IMO there wouldn't be such an outrage is Israel left it at that and didn't go overboard with launching a whole war against Gaza. The reason the world is siding with Palestinian is because we are witnessing the ongoing massacre of population with the actual (political and/or economical) backup of our respective countries for DAYS now. Unlike the Hamas attack, there are ways to stop it. The Hamas didn't cut the water & food supply of Israelis. Palestinians aren't clowning on social medias the Jewish civilians who were killed by the Hamas. That's why the world is shocked and is siding with Palestine and is slowly but surely getting fed up with the cognitive dissonance of Israelis crying oppression while acting like soulless ghouls. Crying antisemitism isn't fooling anyone anymore.

#answered

[just-a-sleepy-idiot]

Valak Imagine: Him seeing you for the first time

Content/Warnings: Nun!Reader, Female!Reader, Blaspemic stuff since it's written out of a demons perspective after all, Based of the movie 'The Nun', Major Spoilers for the Nun!!, Kinda soft Valak

He had paced these holy halls so many times, disguised to sow fear in the nuns that lived here- showing them that evil was among them looking like one of their own. He mocked them with this form, and soon enough death had grasped all of them, all up to one last woman.

Valak wished to take over one of their bodies, but he couldn't deny the satisfaction when the last one chose to commit one of the worst sins the Bible knew, taking her life rather than letting him take over her mortal existence. He thought it was quite funny, to see one of gods devote believers choosing to do this to oppose a demon. He wondered which outcome would have taken on worse judgement- taking her own life or letting her precious little body get taken over by a demon?

He already waited, yearned for others to come which they eventually would. Toying with their sanity and their beliefs, he already felt the arrival of two devote believers coming close.

Eventually you were here- first a priest, and Valak could look deep into his heart and see his guilt haunting him, guilt that the demon would use to torment him later on- this priest and you.

You were wearing a dress, but you might as well have worn the white robes because you emitted something.. pure. No human was ever fully pure, not like they wanted to be, and you too had your yearnings and troubles of course but he saw purity because you were fully aware of them and faced yourself with clarity and judgement.

You weren't a blind follower of the book, driven by blindness, guilt or foolishness.

Valak huffed in contempt, instantly feeling how the opposing nature of his origin and your devotion was stirring up inside of him. Like magnets, wanting to draw each other away.

You stayed now for two nights, and he had already begun playing his schemes with the priest but you.. he still only.. watched. He still only observed you, and he wasn't sure why he was so hesitant.

You were only a mortal after all, you would tremble at the mere sight of him. He felt no fear, so maybe it was.. curiosity?

His demonic nature longed to corrupt you, to teach you fear and see you scream like the other nuns. He was the defiler, the profane, the Marquie of snakes. He wanted to mock and corrupt and watch the ones who serve god crumble in their beliefs.

So why did he keep his distance with you?

A few days went by, and both you and the priest slowly begun to understand what had happened here and how it was tied to the evil that was roaming this place.

Valak had shown you images of the nuns that lived here, and you were believing everything as if it was actually happening. He watched you interact with your environment and with the shadows of the ones that were gone already.

And one day he decided to show himself. Looking like the nun he chose to torment the others with but a little.. softer, a little bit more disarming. With features that he guessed would invoke trust from humans.

When he approached you, you felt someone looking at you without hearing a single step. When you turned around, you were met with green eyes and looked up to a tall nun. There was something strangely.. intense about her, yet you had a feeling like you could feel safe despite of that.

"How do you like it here so far?" How long has it been since he had used words of the human world..

"I like it a lot. I've been treated very well here, the only thing that worries me is the wellbeing of Father Burke. He had horrifying things happening to him."

Valak suppressed a smile, yes he did indeed. "I see."

He continued on talking to you, spying on what it was that a nun like you was thinking by conversing with you.

"Have you been taught about demons, Sister Y/n?"

This question.. had something off-putting, as if you felt like despite her calm and cool expression she was very interested in whatever you might say next.

"Of course, Sister Val." You fumbled with your hands, "Although none of my fellow sisters ever seemed to really take matters of evil very seriously." They concentrated so much on the good that they didn't seem to take the bad forces in the world seriously. They felt too secure.

Valak knew how easily everyone wanted to forget what was waiting outside of their churches, their holy little homes that they felt so safe in. "And what do you think of them?"

You looked up into the green eyes of the tall woman, frowning at that question. No one ever asked about.. an opinion of these things, because it was taught that everything unholy like the creatures of hell were bad and there was no other way to see them.

"The forces of god as well as those of evil are constantly opposing each other. They are bad, they are destructive and against every living being." Your gaze dropped, "But.. I think that is part of the balance, the way it naturally has to be. Of course we have to fight evil, but I don't think just like evil neither does good is supposed to win. And therefore demons are.. just like us," you looked up again and smiled shyly, "something like soldiers?"

Valak stared at you without saying a word.

Just like them?! No, no you were just a mortal, just a flesh puppet. He was above the pity skills of gods creation! There was no way you were alike.

How strange it was to be thinking that while he literally looked like one of them, using the human tongue to communicate and observing this woman instead of following the unholy urges of destruction that were given to his very existence.

And suddenly, you were pressed against the wall, held high up by the nun who's expression now cruelly turned into something demonic. You gasped, unable to look away as he growled darkly at you. He was done playing, he should just snap your neck right there.

But.. he didn't- he couldn't! The demon growled in frustration, harshly pressing you against the wall even more before suddenly letting you go.

"Your foolish beliefs will not earn his favor, little one. You should go back to blindly being his devoted sheep."

You hurried to stand up again, leaning against the wall for stability after your fall with rapid breathing. The green eyes now begun to glow, almost like gold, and Valak loomed over you.

"Leave, leave and send someone as blind as the others, you are not amusing anymore."

You begun to run, candles lit along your way and blew out after you passed. You looked back as you sprinted through the stone corridor and saw the outline of a horned figure watching you go.

You were carrying a forbidden truth with you, something that he did not wish to defy. He wanted you to live, he wanted this truth to blossom within you. Maybe it would corrupt you.. but maybe it would make you even surpass all the others.

Valak would find a way to cross paths with you again.

- - -

I hope you liked it! If you are offended by the religious stuff please know that this is based off a movie and what is written in here is fiction and not a reflection of my actual beliefs so pls don't rage in my comments

#valak x reader #the nun #the conjuring #the conjuring 2 #conjuring valak #slashers x reader

[witcherislovewitcherislife]

Rereading The Last Wish: A Question of Price

(read on 12/23/2021)

This story starts as any good story does, with Geralt in the tub. And then he is forced to dress up fancy. One page into the story and Geralt is already getting his ass metaphorically beat.

He is in Cintra on the request of Queen Calanthe, for a reason he does not yet know but he does know that the feast he is attending is for the courting of Princess Pavetta. We meet Crach an Craite, Mousesack, and Eist Tuirseach who is immediately down horrendous for Calanthe. Same tbh.

Once again I will note that people of higher status in this world treat Geralt with much more respect than common folk. I'm not sure if it was intentional but I do find it interesting.

Geralt and Calanthe's conversation is a joy to read. The back-and-forth between them is brilliant, dripping with sarcasm but also vague threats from Calanthe that don't even momentarily phase Geralt. Geralt refuses her offer numerous times, even as she is willing to up the price more and more. It's very interesting seeing Geralt stick to his principles and his code so diligently. This whole scenario speaks so highly of who he truly is or views himself as. He isn't a hired killer and he wants those who think that to know they're wrong.

Their conversation lasts for awhile until Urcheon of Erlenwald enters and takes over the scene. This part really gets chaotic, I may have to read it over to fully understand each part. You have about ten different characters all speaking about destiny and the Law of Surprise which gets a bit confusing. One thing I do really love about this scene though is the silent conversation because Geralt and Mousesack. They both know their is a magical aura present which leads to Geralt intervening to speak on Urcheon's behalf when the Law of Surprise is brought up. Geralt, a child of Surprise himself, begins to take this matter very seriously.

I always really liked this scene, we see numerous people speak up for Urcheon's claim, even publicly speaking out against Calanthe and admonishing her for possibly refusing to honor her late husband's oath and the Law of Surprise. I always like Eist a lot for this reason.

We then see Elder Blood in action for the first time and what it is capable of in an untrained form. And then we see the power of destiny in the Witcher world. Calanthe agreeing to give Pavetta over to Duny lifted his curse. We see how simple words and vows hold incredible power in this world which foreshadows so much of the story to come.

Duny insists that Geralt ask him for a reward and Geralt obliges. The story ends with Geralt claiming the Law of Surprise. He hopes that destiny will be kind to him. We also see Geralt quite emotional in this final scene. He speaks of the evil waiting for witchers to die out so it can lurk freely and how he wants to pass his knowledge on to a successor but is unable to. So he claims the Law of Surprise. Destiny.

The one drawback to this story I think is it's pacing. It drags in the middle a bit as conversations carry on for pages and pages which muddles it down a bit. But this isn't too much of a problem as this story sets up so much of the story to come.

9/10

Sidenote, I may be self-inserting here but I think Geralt and Calanthe kind of wanted to bone each other. The sarcasm that laces their interactions and Geralt constantly saying how beautiful she is is just excellent.

Another sidenote: This story was adapted in episode three of The Witcher on Netflix. This episode was pretty interesting and stayed true enough to understand the story. They removed a fair amount of characters and simplified conversations likely for time constraints but I do feel they left out some crucial details about destiny.

Also, on the show, Geralt is very mocking of destiny and it's power but he is serious about it here. I think the show did this mostly for comedic effect and it was certainly funny to watch but I think it does a bit of a disservice to Geralt's character to have him make a joke of it. He is not joking in this story, he is completely serious about claiming the Law of Surprise and he isn't upset to learn Pavetta is pregnant in the end. He wants a successor, at least at the time.

#the witcher #the last wish #a question of price #geralt of rivia #queen calanthe #mousesack #eist tuirseach #pavetta #urcheon of erlenwald #my thoughts

[gojology]

Job Benefits. (Part 4)

❝...𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑬 𝑶𝑵, 𝑺𝑷𝑰𝑻 𝑰𝑻 𝑶𝑼𝑻.❞

CONSPIRING. - Chapter Four

you can find part three here :

part three : routines

pairing : ceo! gojo x female reader warnings : cursing, no proof reading, no editing wordcount : 2494 a/n :  this is so bad, i... i am so sorry. in my defense i haven’t written in a while, but i hope u guys still like this regardless </3

     Almost immediately after stepping foot into the room, you’re greeted with a minimalist, yet clean looking interior. Large window panes with Tokyo’s beautiful sunlight filtering into the already lively room.     There’s a few co-workers you can see sitting by the vending machines on plush arm-rest chairs, the cushions colored a beautiful tan alongside oak wood arm rests and chair legs. Others are on their phone, texting and furiously tapping and a feeling of anxiety immediately eats you up whole. You were seriously starting to regret coming down here, what was the point other then to make Gojo jealous? You could’ve very well eaten in your office- and what you were doing was childish anyways.      You stood in the entrance way of the room, nervously fidgeting, eyes scanning for Keto Sugaeru amongst the faces that were starting to blend in. You can only vaguely remember how he looks like from the few visits he had made to Gojo’s office, jet black hair, usually tied in a bun, always a kind, yet careless smirk on his face. He was handsome, which would be a definitive beacon amongst the rather disgruntled looking office workers.     “Hey, are you gonna move or what? Blocking the damn way.”     You hear a gruff impatient voice behind you, and you twist around, stumbling with the newfound height of your high heels as you did so. A man’s eyes bored into your own, glaring at you with a mix of hatred and annoyance. You gulp, finding yourself unable to respond, instead averting your gaze to the floor meekly.    “You gonna talk? We don’t have all day, sheesh, they’re hiring anyone into the workforce nowadays huh-”      “I’m sorry- I uh, I’m r-really new here so...” modestly giving the man a kind smile, but he seemed to have no patience for you.     As if a divine being heard his rude comment and immediately swept down with some karma, a firm, large hand is placed onto the man’s shoulder that you hadn’t seen prior. It gripped the flesh tightly, and the mysterious man glared directly down at the now squeaking rude one.      “Did I hear that right?” is all he says, a few co-workers are twisting their heads towards the altercation, now you’re sweating bullets. You grip onto your lunch so tightly you’re afraid it might burst, and those incredibly long fingers of his are inching towards the stout man’s collar.     Eventually, the perplexing man smiles kindly, retracting his hands to his sides, now lifeless and slack. “Please, Nishima, refrain from picking on people. We don’t tolerate this in the office, and don’t be dumb enough to do it in front of someone who has direct connections to the Gojo family. Run along now, I’ll leave you off at a warning. You’re lucky I’m in a good mood.”     The man grumbled a few times, kicking at the floor before heading out, you turn your head to thank the man, looking at him with an admirable gaze, but you realize something-      He has the jet black long hair you were searching for before any of this happened, it’s tied up in a bun, and it looked ridiculously smooth and soft. Something you’d pay to drag your hands through and play with. He has that carefree grin displayed on his handsome features, shamelessly showing off his good looks. Tall, and he definitely had a familiar voice that took you a while to put a finger on it.     This had to be him.      “You frozen girlie? I haven’t seen you around in the lunch room- here go sit there, that seat’s super comfy.” he gestures to one chair, and you snap out of your trance, nodding in response, yet still unable to fully register what just happened to you.      “Sugaeru?” you blurt out, your eyes wide while stumbling like a just born fawn towards the spotless table. How good was your luck today? He came to you.      “Suguru.” he corrects, looking back at you, a teasing curve to his lips. “Holy, you completely butchered my name, I think I know you from somewhere-” for a second, he looks like he’s seriously thinking before he beams. “You’re Gojo’s secretary, Y/N, aren’t you? What brings you down here? Gojo told me that you’re usually reserved in your own little world and you do everything in your office.”      You stammer, still unable to believe your luck, but your shoulders are relaxing and the tension has completely evaporated into thin air. “Uh, yeah I’m Satoru’s secretary. I- Um, I wanted to... Get some water?” that was a horrible lie, even for you.      “Rookie mistake.” Suguru pulls out the aforementioned chair for you before walking to the other side of the table to place his lunch on the tabletop carefully. “Water here is super overpriced. You should bring some from your own house if that’s the case! Colleague to colleague, just don’t tell anyone I said that, or else I’ll get in trouble.” winking at you, he twists the lid to his container presumably holding his food, instantaneously a cloud of steam emerges and a delicious scent wafts through the room.     After a moment of silence between the two of you as you both opened your lunches, you clear your throat, meaning to make conversation. “Thank you for saving me back there.” sheepishly, you smile at him. “It’s really appreciated, I just couldn’t believe how rude a person could be, especially since u-uh... You know, he could’ve, like, just walked around me?” stuttering, you grab your utensils in an effort to look relaxed and comfortable, even though you had no idea how to speak to him.     “Atta girl, no problem.” he responds warmly. You feel safe in his shadow. “Hey, if your Gojo’s friend, you’re my friend. Don’t worry about it. I heard you’re new to the office.” he pauses, looking around the now bustling room before covering the sides of his mouth and whispering towards you. “Secretary position was open for a while because no sane person in Tokyo wants to be Gojo’s secretary.” sitting back down while snickering, he takes a bite out of his lunch.      Giggling, you finally ease up. As opposed to Gojo, Suguru’s more sincere and straight to the point. He’s funny in his own way without being obnoxious.      You scoff. “Yeah, I can see how anyone could go insane from working with the guy. It was the only good secretary position open, though...” you muse aloud.      Suguru crosses his arm over his chest, your eyes carefully surveying his attractive figure as he does so, a thoughtful smile on his face. “Well, imagine being friends with him for more than 15 years. I’m sure I’ve gotten a few screws loose.” he says suggestively, wriggling his eyebrows.      You cover your mouth, trying not to laugh- but it just spills out of your lips, and you forget that you just met the guy, that’s just how friendly he was. “Don’t say that!”      “What? It’s true!”     You didn’t quite know it just that, but a seed was planted that day- you and Geto’s relationship, and it would only blossom from there.  ‧₊˚✩彡.     Gojo’s paranoid.     It seems like there’s a secret that he’s not in on, he realizes that Geto’s visits to his office are growing more and more frequent, yet he spends less time at his office, rather, spends all of his time at yours. Feeling left out was never a positive emotion. In response, Gojo would increase his visiting between the two of you, “accidentally” walking in on the both of you casually chatting, but it’s like he’s a ghost in the room. He’d get a few lukewarm stares and a few polite greetings, but that was that.     He’s not sure if it’s jealousy, or what.      He knows he should be supportive of his best friend potentially getting a girlfriend, and he tries to be- but something about Geto and you together really pissed him off, he just doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s the way the pairing between you two seemed so natural, it would be almost sure that a relationship would occur soon that angered him. Having dating co-workers was almost never a good thing.      Deep down he knows that’s not it.      As the weeks past by, the visiting grew almost unbearable, hearing your laughter- your giggles- from jokes that weren’t from him was infuriating. Listening to the repetitive clicking of your heels down the stairs into the break room was driving him insane, and eventually he can’t even open an email or do anything involved with work. You and Geto were constantly on his mind, and he’s morbidly curious as to when the friendship occurred- or if it was possibly more than that.    His first attempt at getting to the bottom of things was bringing it up between the two of them, him and Geto, just as casual chit-chat, but it didn’t go exactly as planned.      Geto would have a sympathetic, almost mocking grin on his lips, but those eyes of his were telling enough. It was a whole other book of lust and need, for you. Brushing the topic off with a wave of dismissal, he’d chuckle and put a mask of friendliness on, but Gojo’s known Geto enough to see where this was going.      He couldn’t have this, everything was brought to him on a silver platter, so it was only natural for him to feel like he needs you, even if he didn’t. Perhaps you were another trophy to his endless collection to him, he just didn’t know. He’d never felt so strongly of a woman, much less his secretary, something was brewing inside of him.    One thing he doesn’t understand is why Geto. He’s flawless in appearance, restless, impossibly good at sex, why weren’t you stroking his ego? Whatever, this was another topic of conversation, what he needed to do now was win you back.     He calculated in his office the average time in which Geto would visit, music drowning out the muffled talking, and finally he’s ready and absolutely certain that this would be a good time to chat you up. Having everything planned out, an aura of confidence radiated from him.      “Y/N!” you hear a chirp from the door, lifting your head up in excitement, you realize it’s not your beloved Suguru, rather, it’s Gojo. Gluing your eyes back on your computer screen, not even bothering to peel them away, you clear your throat in acknowledgement. “Sir?”      A smug grin flickers across his face for just a second before he pulls out one of the chairs across from your desk, scooching it a bit further away for some extra leg room before promptly sitting down. “Knew you’d remember to call me sir, I knew I hired well when you stepped into the interview room, so sharp.”     You don’t detect a shred of sarcasm in his compliment, and finally you turn your gaze upon his face. This was certainly out of the ordinary for you, as he hadn’t visited as often with Geto in the picture now. Gojo’s not wearing the iconic black shades that concealed his cerulean eyes, now, they’re out for you- his private audience.     His eyes are brimming with energy and mischief, almost like a child’s. They’re transfixing, like diamonds handpicked and placed into his eyes. You’re overwhelmed from your work once again- a direct consequence of Gojo neglecting his own, yet something about this greeting reminded you of one of the first few times he had visited you, when he stole your carrot pen. Thus, causing you to direct your undivided attention towards him, he seemed promising, after all, what was the worst that could happen?     “That’s besides the point, Mr. Satoru. Is there any reason why you came here? I’m actually finishing up a report right now and the deadline is in two days.” taking your coffee mug up from it’s usual spot on the tabletop, you sigh in relief as the warm liquid goes down your throat and set it back down, anticipating his answer.     In usual fashion, Gojo chuckles good-heartedly. “It’s your fourth month anniversary you’ve been working here, or third, or second, fuck like I remember. This is a cause for celebration and you’re worrying about finishing up a report?”    “You’d know better then to come to me with an offer of slacking off if you knew my fourth month anniversary of working here was coming up.” you respond coolly.     His eyes slightly widen, before he lets out a dry chuckle. “Ah, I missed my sassy secretary, say, why don’t we celebrate? We can go out for a staff dinner in celebration. I’ll pay, no need to worry. It’ll be confidential information between the two of us.” tugging at his collar, he quirks an eyebrow, you’re visibly thinking.      “Does this imply you want this dinner to only be between the two of us? Why’s that?” you pry, a tinge of hesitance in your pitch.     Ah, shit. This was going off the tracks.     Gojo taking a hand to his chest defensively, he loudly announced, “It’s important to build a positive connection between the two of us! We’ll be working together for years to come, of course. So skeptical of you, why do you look so down?” the retort was cheeky, and good at that, as it left you speechless.     “I’m not sad, or anything-” you pause, your mind had gone blank. “I- Um... I-” attempting to return to your work instead, you give him a dirty look, but he stares back with such intensity you don’t know how to feel. “I’m doing work, don’t screw up my train of thought, please?”    “You definitely weren’t saying that when I offered to take you out to eat, come on, spit it out.” he tsks. Utterly defeated, you sigh.     “I wanted to invite someone.” you spit out, obviously embarrassed.     Gojo pretends to act shocked, before excitedly inquiring, “And who might that be?”     “G-Geto.” there was no point in lying now.    He oohs, looking down at your shaking hands and back up at your face. “Ooooh, Y/N has a crush on my best bud? Who woulda thought!?”    Your cheeks going warm, you shake your head furiously. “No I don’t! I- Mr. S- Sir! This is so unprofessional of you!” stuttering, you drop your head on the desk, arms pillowing the sides of your head and groaning.     “How cute. Anyways, you accept that dinner date?”     You lift your head back up, sniffling. “It’s not a date!”    Giving you a shit-eating grin again, his eyes twinkle. “Oh, but it is.”    “I- Aghhhhh!” putting your head back down on the desk, this time without your arms, you don’t know how to respond, so instead you make a mockery of yourself.    Laughing, Gojo decides not to tease and you and instead says, “Meet me in Shibuya district, there’s a super nice restaurant, I’ll drive to your house, no need to worry about transportation. 9 PM, see you there!” his voice grew more distant down the hallway, you can still hear the clicking of his shoes and his deep humming.     So you had a date tonight,     Now how would that go?

#gojo satoru #jjk #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen #gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru #jjk gojo satoru #gojo satoru fic #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen fic #gojou satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x you #au #jjk au #office au #anime fic #fanfiction #fanfic #gojo satoru scenario #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x y/n

[buriedbybooks]

Sucker  (Guardian 5+1)

Section 3!!  (Part 1, Part 2)

Tags: Shěn Wēi/Zhào Yúnlán, 5+1 things, fluff and crack, pining, teasing, sexual innuendo, suggestive consumption of lollipops

Summary: Shěn Wēi’s growing understanding and appreciation of Zhào Yúnlán’s use of lollipops, and how he puts his learning into practice.

Notes: I know that studies of Zhào Yúnlán, Shěn Wēi and lollipops have likely been done multiple times before, so I’m hoping that y’all will indulge yet another cake brought to this party.  We can always use more Wēilán!  This fic really is a scene study of the use of lollipops in the show.

I do rely on English translations of the show; thank you to everyone who does that amazing work!  I am still working on my Mandarin, but it is a slow, slow process.  The title is from the song by the Jonas Brothers of the same name.

3.

Shěn Wēi lays out the photos across the surface of his desk, numerous images of the same smiling couple looking up at him.  He takes his time, studying their faces--so young--and the few papers that Zhào Yúnlán included in the folder.  Not enough papers to be a full case report, or even all the raw notes.  Zhào Yúnlán sits in the chair across from him, legs crossed and one foot dangling lazily as he pulls a lollipop out of his jacket pocket.

Setting out the last of the photos, Shěn Wēi smiles slightly.  Zhào Yúnlán came to him, and not because he considers Shěn Wēi a suspect in this particular case.  Glancing briefly at the man on the other side of the desk through his lashes, Shěn Wēi gives voice to his thoughts, wondering how this man will respond.  Even after 10,000 years, or maybe because of them, Shěn Wēi is constantly surprised by Zhào Yúnlán.  “Your first time?”

Zhào Yúnlán’s fingers pause on the lollipop, wrapper partly undone, as he looks up at Shěn Wēi in confusion.  “What do you mean?”

Shěn Wēi gently pushes the photos on his desk with his fingertips so that they’re all evenly aligned, then leans forward on one elbow so that he’s just that much closer to Zhào Yúnlán.  “The first time you take the initiative to come to me and ask questions that have nothing to do with me,” he explains.  Shěn Wēi can’t keep the soft happiness completely hidden, knows that his eyes are crinkling slightly at the corners behind his glasses as he watches Zhào Yúnlán.

The other man is completely relaxed, sliding the lollipop into his mouth and maneuvering it into his right cheek.  At Shěn Wēi’s words, Zhào Yúnlán inhales deeply and purses his lips, but he is unable to stop an answering smile as he leans forward to rest both forearms on Shěn Wēi’s desk and set his chin on his stacked fists.  He looks up at Shěn Wēi through his lashes and shaggy bangs, fully aware of the disarming picture he makes.

The lollipop stick remains remarkably steady even as Zhào Yúnlán speaks.  “Seems like you have a quarrel with me because of my doubts about you?”

Shěn Wēi leans toward Zhào Yúnlán even more, drawn as always to his magnetic presence and overflowing energy.   “No quarrels, but I at least have the right to lodge protests after so many times being suspected,” he replies with mock seriousness.  This man.  Shěn Wēi wonders at the ability to tease, that there is this level of comfort and familiarity.

Of course, Shěn Wēi’s memories of their relationship are 10,000 years longer than Zhào Yúnlán’s.  He does not know yet what that will mean for them.

Zhào Yúnlán sucks in a breath through his teeth and rubs at the back of his neck with his right hand, eyes bashfully lowered as he admits, “ah… reasonable.”   Then he turns his devastatingly bright gaze back to Shěn Wēi’s and pouts with pursed lips, tipping the stick poking out of his mouth almost vertically toward his nose.  The posture is both cute and evocative, showing off just how… mobile… his mouth is.  Something Shěn Wēi remembers intimately.

Shěn Wēi huffs, unable to hide his amusement.  Zhào Yúnlán absolutely knows how to wheedle his way back into Shěn Wēi’s good graces.  Even upon their first meeting 10,000 years ago, Shěn Wēi was incapable of denying this man.

Satisfied at scoring a point, Zhào Yúnlán doesn’t gloat.  “Any discoveries?” he asks instead, returning them to the case at hand.

Shěn Wēi pulls out the papers from the case folder and looks at them again.  Nothing new jumps out on this perusal.  “The case is mysterious, but could have happened before.  You’re not giving me all of the information.”

Perhaps this is a test, or a protection of something sensitive.  Zhào Yúnlán is starting to trust him, but it is not yet complete.  Shěn Wēi tries to think of it as a challenge instead of a wound.

Zhào Yúnlán opens his mouth as if to protest, his tongue just visible behind his teeth as he goes to move the ball of the lollipop out of the way to speak.

Shěn Wēi forges on without giving Zhào Yúnlán the chance to deflect, eager to earn his way back to the partnership that he so fondly remembers.  “Well, interesting.  You told me your doubts.”

Tapping one hand against the desk, Zhào Yúnlán pushes himself back upright and slouches down in his chair waiting for Shěn Wēi to continue.  He is playing with the lollipop in his mouth as he watches Shěn Wēi with amused approval that he has been caught.

“From what Jì Xiǎobái told us, there is a clue.  All of the things--”

Shěn Wēi is cut off by Zhào Yúnlán’s mobile device ringing abruptly.

Zhào Yúnlán fishes his cell phone out of his pocket and holds up a hand when he sees the name on the screen.   “Pardon,” he says to Shěn Wēi before answering.  Pulling the lollipop out of his mouth, he prompts the person on the other end of the call, “Wéi?  ...how come?  Okay, I know…”

With a perplexed expression, Zhào Yúnlán hangs up the call and stuffs the lollipop back into his mouth in agitation.  He makes a frustrated face at Shěn Wēi and taps his fingers on the side of his cell phone.

“What happened?” Shěn Wēi asked.  It was likely someone from SID, but Zhào Yúnlán isn’t racing for the door, so it isn’t an emergency…

“WēiWēi was back home like nothing happened,” Zhào Yúnlán tells him.

Shěn Wēi blinks in surprise.  That’s another piece of data, but not one that he ever expected.  He reaches for the drawer in the bottom of his desk that holds his personal files and Zhào Yúnlán starts poking through the photos, frowning around the lollipop.

They work together in silence for a few moments, Shěn Wēi’s concentration challenged by the occasional clack of Zhào Yúnlán’s teeth against the hard sweet in his mouth.  If he could address the distraction, occupying that mouth with something else, perhaps Shěn Wēi could then put it aside and get back to work…?  But that is not the state of their current relationship, regardless how much Zhào Yúnlán flirts.

Flipping back to another page, Shěn Wēi pauses.  That is a commonality…  He leans forward over the desk, inclining toward Zhào Yúnlán.   “You must find out as well, no matter if it’s in the dressing room or the makeup room, they all have one crucial feature."  Shěn Wēi looks up at the other man, who is also tilted in over the desk, still focused on the pictures.

Zhào Yúnlán looks up, lips parting.  “You mean--”

Shěn Wēi sees the exact moment they both reach the same conclusion.

“A mirror,” they say in unison.

Zhào Yúnlán huffs, eyes creasing at the corners in pleasure.

Shěn Wēi smiles in return, but can’t hold Zhào Yúnlán’s gaze because the other man is worrying the lollipop in his mouth again in evident satisfaction.  It is an expression that Shěn Wēi has always enjoyed seeing, whatever the circumstances.  

Zhào Yúnlán reaches forward and starts shoving the photos together into a pile.  Shěn Wēi winces at the cavalier treatment of the evidence, but doesn’t protest.

“Thank you for your help, Shěn Jiàoshòu,” Zhào Yúnlán says with a wink as he slides the photos into the folder and stands.  “It was invaluable as always.  I’ll let you know what we find.”

As soon as Zhào Yúnlán is out the door, Shěn Wēi blows out a breath and pulls his glasses off to rub at his eyes.  Had that parting shot truly been necessary?

He ignores his conditioned response to Zhào Yúnlán's aggressive form of flirting and shoves aside where he wishes this meeting of minds had led for private consideration later.  Much later.  When Shěn Wēi is alone, and unlikely to be interrupted.

#guardian #zhen hun #shen wei #zhao yunlan #weilan #lollipops #guardian fan fic #my fanfiction tag

[taecalikook]

(Not) Just Friends

summary : Befriending the fuckboy with devilishly handsome face and emotional capacity of a pea is not exactly your choice, especially when you met him when you were in fifth grade, attracted for the unhealthy vermillion shaded face of the nerd he was that fateful day. So is Jungkook, as he is already putting strictly platonic label on your forehead and calls it a day. But it is only a matter of time before everything changes, and it only takes a frat party, lots of booze and... a certain Kim Seokjin.

{friends to lovers! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim seokjin)

genre : major fluff, a sprinkle of angst and borderline crack

word count : 24.612 (one-shot)

==============

“Hi, pumpkin! Is that for me?”

You were just sipping on your morning espresso, sitting in your favorite coffee shop while reading your favorite book of all time when the familiar annoying voice of your childhood best friend rang in your ear. You look up, finding the hateful smirk on his lips that you desperately want to strangle off of him, more for interrupting your sacred solitude morning routine—well not really solitude since you did promise him breakfast before class today. But as per usual, he just had to steal the glass you had in your grasps, sipping on the tasteful liquid while scrunching his eyebrows on your choice of reads.

“Isn’t it too early for The Great Gatsby in such a wonderful morning?”

“Isn’t it getting too old for you to keep drinking my coffee?” You bite back in the same bratty manner he displays. Jungkook chuckles, resting the cup back with a slight grimace. Probably because the coffee is tad too bitter for a sweet-crazed tooth like him. “You don’t even like espresso. I don’t even know why you always want a taste of my coffee.”

“Nah, I just want to mess with you fam.” He smirks, the bitterness still leaving a mark on his taste buds. Serve him right, you roll your eyes and try to center your attention back to your book. This idiot really knows no boundaries when it comes to you, you swear to God.

You and Jungkook have been best friends since both of you were kids. As cliché as it sounds, you met Jungkook when he was a total nerd in fifth grade of elementary school. He perfectly embraces the nerd stereotype at that time, thick ass glasses, braces, carrying books and his neon green nintendo nearly everywhere. You were not really interested in befriending the nerd, but when he got shamed by the cool girls for giving them chocolates for Valentine's Day—an expensive chocolate, for anyone keeping notes—you quickly stepped in when it seemed like it went overboard. 

Jungkook was bullied in the middle of the school yard with everyone to witness, for giving the girl he likes a chocolate on fucking Valentine’s Day. You noticed how ashamed he was—lips quivering, heads hanging low and the most distinctive feature is his cheek and ears, literally turning to the shade of vermillion. You did not know whether it is healthy for a face to be that red—you were terrified he might pass out—but yet those girls were still keen on mocking his sincere acts and his shy expression, not showing a sign to stop anytime soon.

Your consciousness literally forced you to step in, jumping on between them and literally yell at those girls. You forcefully stole the chocolate from one of the girls' grasp, eating them on the spot and shouted in irritation, “Done! I ate everything, so stop bullying him. You girls should be ashamed of yourself, he did nothing wrong!”

The imbecile girls were embarrassed, because their show was immediately stopped by an unpopular girl they never saw before in front of the whole school to see. One girl who seemed to be like the leader of the lunatic gang suddenly moved forward and pushed you until you fell on your back, and you know that was it. You seriously had been waiting to use your taekwondo skills for a better cause, and at that time, you saw the chance and took it whole-heartedly. You were not even using your full strength on her—you mostly used your defense technique when she was giving multiple amateur punches. You really lost everything when she grabbed your hair and pulled it hard (like most amateur girls would fight). The pain on your scalp hurt from the vicious pull, so you mildly used the front kick technique on her to push her away yet she easily fell down like a limp noodle, scraping her body with a small amount of the blood trickling out.

After the fight ensued and was broken off by one of the teachers, you and the crying girl were taken to the headmaster’s office. You were going to be punished severely, but fortunately some witnesses came to your rescue, you and the girl received punishment of detention for one month straight. Somehow, the spoiled annoying girl got out of the punishment with her parents persuasion, yet not really the same for your strict parents. They were furious for you to be punished for a physical fight in school that they directly cut you from your twice-a-week taekwondo classes you loved so much—thinking that it must be a bad influence for you. Not only that, you were also grounded and was forbidden to go out of the house for a month. You were devastated, but you know there was no way to change their minds, so you just sucked it up and promised to do your punishment well.

Day one of your punishment, you were sitting inside the detention class, the teacher was zooming off on the table with a documentary of Helen Keller played on the television. You were doodling on the back of your book in boredom. Suddenly, amongst the silence, a hush was heard in front of you, whispering your name. You shifted your head, finding the same boy directly on the table in front of you.You must absolutely did not expect it to be him—the nerd you saved from raging selfishness of the slow-minded girls.

“Hi... I got into detention to accompany you...” 

You inspected the boys with scrunched eyebrows in confusion. He somehow was still with the vermillion shade of red coloring his supple cheeks, just like last week when you were defending him. Is he... sick? He better be not, cause if he were, you were going to regret not setting the girl straight a little bit harder. The adamant despise towards injustice firing inside you was ignited by the lesson you always received from your taekwondo class, how you always must use your strength for goodness. Yes, you indeed will be missing going to Taekwondo classes. 

Realizing your mind had been anywhere but here, you straightened in your seat and tilted your head in confusion at the guy. “Are you okay? You look so… red.”

The boy quickly hid his cheeks with his palm, eyes not meeting yours out of shyness. It looked like he wanted the world to swallow him firsthand. “I—I’m sorry! I just have this weird physical habit of turning super red whenever I'm shy or angry..” He whispered, nibbling on his lips while still avoiding your eyes. “I hope I don’t make you uncomfortable..”

“Nope.” You answered with a loud pop on the last ‘p’, sending the boy a warm smile. “It doesn’t bother me in any way. You should not be ashamed of that. That’s cute.”

Well if you thought his face was already red, you could not imagine how more red it could turn into after you called him cute. Out of panic, you swiftly handed him the cold drinks sitting on your desk. “H—hey! You are too red, it is not possible. Put this on your face!”

After a few seconds he spent pushing the cold bottle to his face, you could finally see him breath again. You were unable to hold a smile looking at the boy, huffing his breath repeatedly to calm himself. You did sincerely find him cute, so different from the boys from your school who somehow really got on your nerves from constantly bragging about nearly everything. Their expensive belongings, their parent’s house, their ability to play sports, and it sickened you. Well you didn't really know the boy in front of you, but it seemed like he wasn’t the type to. You were prepared to drop him the second a cocky symptoms were found though, even if internally you wish he wouldn’t. You spared so much of your effort to take on the guy’s side, such a waste to do that on another thick-headed prick.

“I just realize I don’t know your name.” You suddenly thought to yourself after multiple times addressing him as ‘the nerd’ or ‘this boy’. He was just giving your drinks back to your desk, and then he shyly put out his hands to you.

“Hi.. My name is Jungkook. I am ten years old, and I came from Busan. I have one brother and one dog. My hobby is playing games and taking a bath! Nice to meet you!”

You really were going to burst into laughter, but then you detect the teacher was already woken up and shooting looks at the both of you for causing such a loud commotion. You bit your lips, holding any sound from coming out fervently, your eyes trained on your desk so you would be able to hold them back. Inside, you were glad that you saved this boy the other day. This boy was too pure and kind for his own good, and you were happy that you stood for him.

Well, that was all too long in the past, you nearly had a hard time remembering it. Now Jungkook has changed, 180 degrees from that cute, shy, vermillion shade faced boy you met in elementary school. After an agonizing ten years has passed, he went from a total innocent sweetheart, such a cutie to the annoying ass of a fuckboy jock he is today. What a shame to witness the degradation, you thought to yourself. But you did know when and where it went wrong—he was just too tired of being taken too much of an advantage by despicable people around him. The friend he befriended, his chemistry lab partner in middle school, his classmates and especially the girl he dated in high school. He hated it—he hated everything that happened to him when he was trying to be the nice guy for everyone. 

So in the last year of high school—after the bad breakup with the said girlfriend—he changed everything, nearly everything until it's even hard for you to recognize him sometimes. He swore off dating and romances, he went twelve hours per week to the gym and the school’s football team, attended parties days and nights before fucking random girls, and did the bare minimum in his education due to the shift of focus. But still even by then (actually, even until today), one and only person he would always listen to was you. 

When he failed one of his subjects in the last term of high school—and seemed completely unbothered by it, you were furious at him and refused to communicate in any way to him until he got his priorities straight. He tried contacting you, but you rejected at the first beep. He waited for you in front of your class but you quickly shove him with hurtful words his way, “You stop being yourself, Jungkook. I don’t even know you anymore.” and you meant every word. You missed your best friend, you missed his innocence and availability for you, and frankly, you also had enough of hearing about how charming he was, or how good he was in bed, talked in hush by your obnoxious girls in your classes. 

Few days later, you were already resting in your house while reading a book and listening to the droplets of the heavy rain knocking down on your roof, until a hesitant knock was heard on the door. You shuffled to open the door to find, was expecting your brother coming home from college, but instead found Jungkook, drenched in front of your porch with the remedial sheet on his hand—written that he passed the said subject with flying colors. You were surprised that he even got the chance to fix his grade, but after telling you he needed to do a fifty page review of the economic systems around the world to even got the chance to remedial test, you did realize how much he put an effort to pass a subject he didn’t even like. Somehow, it resulted in more happiness on you than you thought it would be. You couldn’t deny you were already contemplating whether you were too harsh or nosy on him, or he would just drop you the second you push him away. You were on the edge, imagining that you would lose a best friend because of your annoying attitude and peskiness. But he came through.

After welcoming Jungkook to take a bath and wear your brother’s clothes, you offered him a glass of hot chocolate, his favorite drink. But you noticed that he was still pouting, so you questioned it. “I am thankful that you knocked some sense into me, but Y/N, don’t ever ignore me like that again…” Jungkook’s pout turned deeper, his knuckles pushing your forehead in annoyance. 

“You are the last person who I ever wanted to turn against me.” He whispered after seconds of silence of just staring at each other, eyes turning gleam that knocked some guilt inside your chest. You nodded silently, promising that you would not do that kind of antics again.

You remember that day like the back of your hand—after a long time, you see how vermillion-shaded his face has returned after telling you how thankful he was for your presence as his best friend during the past ten years, and your straight-up attitude that set him straight during his weak times. He cried that day, telling you how hard everything was for him. Behind those strong facade and muscle, you realized he was still the innocent, vulnerable nerd with a vermillion-shaded face you met ten years ago. You missed those innocence he finally displayed, and it brought you back to times when it was just you and him against the world. 

Even after that day Jungkook still continues all his fuckboy ways, and until now after both of you went to the same university. He is taking an industrial engineering major while you were doing your life-long dream of taking political science, both of your faculties are located near each other. Jungkook was still being the same Jungkook he was, he joined the football team and brother frat in college, filled with dumb rich jocks who held parties nearly twice a week. After getting few drinks in the party, he would fall into meaningless sex with the girl he just knew before. Not that you mind, you have been way too accustomed in having such a best friend and it doesn’t even bother you anymore.

But still, you were confused how Jungkook is able to maintain his life together—his studies, his jock practices and his fuckboy activities in parallel. You have no objection at all for his life choices—since he never leaves you out and schedules a breakfast or lunch minimal twice per week with you to update you on what he was doing with his life and likewise. Not even counting the times he would get you from your apartment if you have the same morning class like today. By what you hear from him, it really seems like he is holding up just well. Good for him.

“Hey, stop ignoring me, you ugly ass hoe!”

You wake up from your long flashbacks, since you notice that you have been zooming out for quite a while now. You clear your throat, sipping on the coffee that has turned cold, sending apologies for not paying attention to him. “Sorry. I was distracted. You were saying?”

Jungkook frowns, his eyes squinted on you, and you know what he was doing. He was trying to diagnose your silence. You roll your eyes at his nosy acts. “Stop looking at me like that! I said I was sorry, Jungkook. Now tell me what’s bothering you. This girl you fucked with before, did she still try to contact you again?”

“I wasn’t telling you about that!” Jungkook raises his voice, his face slightly reddening out of shyness for you mentioning his bad experience on one of his one night stands. Looking at him, you are reminded about the vermillion-faced Jungkook you met in elementary school. Oh how you miss those reddening supple cheeks of his. “I was telling you if you are going to Hoseok’s birthday party this weekend. It’s gonna be lit, I swear! He is holding it in his fancy ass house with a pool and whatever.” You snort, your eyes trailing back on your books even if you are not reading at all. You just want to ignore him, implicitly telling how silly his invitation was. Parties are never your forte, you feel mildly uncomfortable in such a short distance with tons of strangers. You’d rather reread this book you are holding for the nth time already, you swear.

“Y/N, you could even meet boys there, I know how saintly you have been living lately. Live a little, pumpkin! I swear you’ll enjoy it there.” Still you don’t budge on him.

“Kim Seokjin is gonna be there, though. You sure you won’t come?”

Listening to his name, your ears perk up, eyes slightly glancing up to him. Seokjin is one of Jungkook’s frat brothers, a final year who surely does not share the same ugly traits of the other brother. He is smart, ambitious in his study, and is also the head of the Taekwondo university club. Your deep interest in Taekwondo has driven you to see him in multiple universities and external competitions, and you cannot bear yourself but to swoon over him and his rightful acts. Even if you surely do not have the courage to directly introduce yourself to him, you have been thinking a lot about joining the club with pure—well not really pure motivation. You are also unable to emphasize more that he is really one of the kindest souls out there. He is known as very helpful to everyone, joining as a volunteer in various social and environmental movements. You also heard that he had a serious relationship for five years, in which they had to break up a year ago because the girl had to move to America to pursue her study and decide to break up with him. What a doofus.

You notice the cocky, winning triumph on Jungkook’s face realizing how affected you are by the name, but you’ll set aside your will to erase the annoying smirk off of his face just to get more information out of him. “Continue.”

“He is best friends with Hoseok. I know he is not really a party type—you probably know that better than I do—but this one's for his friend's birthday party. He’ll come.” Jungkook says, munching on the served american breakfast in front of him. “You can finally meet him, probably say hi and then bone him while you’re at it. You get me?” Jungkook wickedly smiles, eyebrows dancing on his temple and you roll your eyes in response. You have such an obnoxious dickhead as a friend, and whose fault is it? Yours, of course.

“I hate you so much, Jungkook. Do you know that?” You gave him a cynical smile, and he returned it with the same bland taste, biting on the last piece of bacon. 

“Can.. Can I bring Lia too?” You hesitantly asked, biting on your lips. Jungkook’s chewing movement is slowing, an uncomfortable silence ensues.

Lia is your apartment roommate, a cute girl with the same major as yours. Short height, big round eyes and straight hair are her noticeable features, and what troubles Jungkook for Lia’s presence in your discussions, is her uncanny resemblance to his high school ex girlfriend. Her similar name, her looks, her height, her choice of outfit and nearly everything, reminded him of the girl he has been trying to forget. You were surprised while meeting her too at first, but you did not realize how the resemblance would bother Jungkook that much. Well probably, Jungkook was still trying to forget about her—hell, this whole new persona of his was founded by his heartbreak towards the bitter-ended relationship.

You remember how head over heels was Jungkook towards his ex-girlfriend. Whenever he is around her, or just thinking about her when she was brought up in your discussions, Jungkook would again turn vermillion in shyness for his adoration of the girl. He would waste hours, with all his power and wealth to make the girl happy—without telling you at that time about how much he spent for her, since he knew how fervently you would react to that—and content with the relationship they both shared. But none could prepare him for the inevitable break up, Jungkook found the girl was cheating on him with another older guy, in which he found out who was her source of income too. Jungkook was devastated, heartbroken and that's the turning point when he swore off romances and relationships at all cost. You tried your best in helping him mend the broken pieces caused by the vicious witch of an ex-girlfriend, but you know none of it was the same ever again. What you could and promise to do is to be there for your best friend, at all times.

“It’s—it’s okay. I think I am just overreacting over all of this. I swear.” He sighs, sounding a little bit tired of everything and putting the utensils on his plate. You lean closer, waiting for the continuation of his spoken mind. “I am so fucked up, Y/N. Like, there are so many things that keep reminding me of her. You know how evil she is, and everything she did to me—but I still find myself missing her so much it’s crazy. It’s been nearly two years, but I still think about her—a lot. The girl I was with last night. The girl I met at a party two weeks ago. Your roommate—gosh, i’m so tired.” He sadly groans, hiding his face behind his palm. Oh, how you wish to take away some of the pain he feels.

“I think.. I think you just need to stop pushing it away, Jungkook..” You softly speak, your palm caressing his shoulder to his arm in sympathy. Jungkook let out another sigh, resting his palm over yours, eyes filled with frustration over himself.  “I think the more you are trying to stop thinking about her, the less you are able to overcome it. Just let it go. Confront it. Confront everything that reminds you of her, and tell yourself that you are slowly but surely overcoming the hunch.”

Jungkook silently nods for a while zooming out to the street, until at one point he slowly squints his eyes on you, full of suspicion. You choose to look away, trying to be nonchalant of his suspecting gaze.

“You just want me to allow your friend to go to the party so you will have a companion to meet Seokjin, right?”

Well, you should know you are going to be caught red-handed, but it should not this fast, though. Are you that obvious or it’s just another episode of Jungkook knowing you better than you do? “You know how much I need to meet him, Jungkook! You are my friend, you should help me with this. I need her as my support.” You defend yourself, arms folded in front of your chest in agitation. You are desperately in need of  Lia there, so at least when you embarrass yourself in front of a cheering crowd—or worst, Seokjin himself—you will have support that helps you get into that taxi and drive yourself to the nearest cliff. You won’t even expect Jungkook to be  there for you, he must be off somewhere fucking bimbos and that’s just how less you expect of him.

“Hey, I can be your wingman to score him too! Are you kidding me? I am his kind, I know how to get you to him better than that friend of yours.” Jungkook scrunch his nose in distaste of your doubts about him. You scoff loudly, pushing your cold coffee away so you or Jungkook’s slob trait will not nudge or drop it to pieces mid argument. That surely happened before, and you do not want another dirty look thrown by the waitress at the both of you for causing troubles, yet again.

“Stop kidding me. First, you are not his kind. He is not a fuckboy. And what would happen if I go there with you are first, you missing at twenty minutes mark and off fucking some girl on the upstair bedroom or even worse, in the restroom and I’ll just be foolishly standing in the corner like fucking nerd who miss her literature club meeting with expectation to meet a cute, faithful guy in some dumb frat parties, fell in love and get married to happily ever after. Or second, you ignore the girls thirsting over you to accompany me and just an hour, you off to get a drink and those dumb girls will kidnap me and feed me to the lion. I don’t see any positive scenario over you, accompanying me to the party. No thanks.”

Jungkook is surely bewildered over the scenario you just play out to him. You take a deep breath, realize you have been spitting out so many words in such a short span of time. You are quite proud of that talent, though.

“That’s… strangely detailed.”

You roll your eyes, looking at the watch on your wrist. Only ten minutes left and both of you need to run to the first class.  “We need to get going now. Let’s go, you dumb jock.”

Jungkook sighs, following your step, resting a few bills on the table. “It’s my turn paying now. Let’s go.”

*

“Are you sure you want to wear that?”

Listening to Lia’s queries for the nth time, you sigh and go inside the bathroom to change into your comfy house clothes. You have been trying to find the perfect dress that is the perfect balance of classy and slutty since three hours ago—exactly right after you ran home from your afternoon class. But yet it seems like no dress is right, one makes you look too slutty, or another which makes you like a freaking nun amongst the girl in the party, or another one which make your butt looks massive or one that is too tight you know you can’t even breathe if you wear that to the party. And who are you even kidding? You are putting too much effort for a party that most likely will not even realize you are there. You know that you are not that excessively pretty like some girls that hangout with Seokjin and Jungkook’s frat—yes, you are not far on the other side either, but it’s still a valid point.

“I’m done. I’m just wearing anything to the party and if Seokjin can’t see me, he can kiss my ass. Probably gonna die alone anyway, why do I even try...” Your groan was muffled to the pile of clothes on your bed. Lia hisses at your sudden discouragement, she wakes up and launches a slap on your butt.

“Nuh-uh! You know how important this is to you, Y/N. You gotta try, or you’ll regret it forever!” Lia shakes you again, but you are still groaning against the clothes. Seeing how long this may drag and you still haven’t even done your hair, she has no choice but to drag you from bed until you are thrown on the floor with a loud bump.

“Ah! It hurts!”

“I know it hurts but you’ll be thanking me in the next five years when you are married to Seokjin and pregnant with his third kid.” 

“Now that’s just forward. And delusional. Seokjin is married to me? Seriously, like he even wants to deal with such a mess.” You pout while rubbing on your hurting elbow due to the unexpected fall. Even with such a small frame Lia cages animalistic power it’s unbelievable. “And I don’t even want to get married that fast! I still need to open my restaurant, I haven’t even met Liam Neeson, travel the world—”

“Wait-wait, hold on. Why Liam Neeson?”

“Because he is hot. Like real hot. Have you seen Narnia? That is one god-carved voice, damn! How I wish I could have a man with a voice like Liam. In Taken! He is so hot and protective and do you know that in Star Wars—”

Lia quickly shuts you by throwing a glittery dress to your face, disgust coloring her face. “That’s just borderline daddy kink and I hope you are well aware you are fucking weird.”

You grimace. “No argument here.”

*

9pm, and both you and Lia finally arrive at the large mansion which you recognize must be Hoseok’s. You check the text Jungkook sent this morning about the location’s address once again, quickly scrambling out of the car after muttering thanks to the driver to enter the huge, fancy house. Lia holds you by the waist, giving it a short squeeze of support seeing how jittery you have become since the taxi arrived. “It’s okay. You look beautiful, and Seokjin will be crazy not to see you.”

“Thanks.” You huff a breath, trying to muster a little bit confidence in your steps. It is half-working, you have to admit. 

It’s still early, yet the party is crazy enough you can’t even believe it. Every corner is busy with their own games and activities, the bass blaring in your ear until you’re this close to temporary deafness, and the outside of the house is a large outdoor pool with people laughing and girls with hot bod and bikinis. Just the perfect recipe of the best night everyone will regret—or maybe it’s just you.

You already had your fair share of parties, and you have to admit that it’s not your thing. The free booze, though? Tempting. You are trying to look at the better side of the whole ordeal. Even if you fall short and embarrass yourself in front of your crush, you get the eternal consolation of booze to help you kick the shame away. Nothing screams adult like pushing your problem away with the help of alcohol, right?

You check yourself against the reflection on the nearest mirror to you, restlessness creeping inside your head. Damn, you seriously are just a sack of old potatoes compared to these girls in clad dress and high stilettos which will surely be able to stab and kill someone. You should just pack it up and go home, really.

“Hey! I know that face, Y/N. No! We are not backing down. I did not just spend five hours of your whiny ass complaining what to wear for you to be this defeated without even trying!” Lia quickly pushes you away when you are about to run out the door for your life. You frown, ready to let out some whiny complaints when she pushes your unknowing ass away, right into someone’s arm.

From the countless people inside the freaking party you just had to fall to Seokjin’s arm. God must be joking. 

Looking straight into his beautiful, sparkling eyes, it seems like your mind is completely wiped like new, and you have the trouble of speaking your mind. His warm arms are around your shoulder, keeping you stable on your feet and this might be the nearest you have been to the taste of death.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I think you fell and I just caught you...” Seokjin smiles politely, eyes crinkled into a smile and you are still in the midst of inner conflict of speaking out anything. Out of realization how annoying your act must have been to him, you jumped feets away, desperate to keep a distance. You are really this close to running away, but do not want to be perceived like a total moron especially to him, so you let out a thin, nervous smile. 

“T—thank you for catching me.” You breathily murmur, feeling shy. How can someone not be? God, is he beautiful. His fluffy hair is styled nicely, he is wearing such a simple attire, a blue loose shirt and black denim but damn did he wear it like nobody’s business.

“No problem.” He lightly shakes his head, but a sudden realization comes to his mind as he inches closer to you, eyebrows scrunched together in question. You unconsciously lean further away from him, heart drumming fast in your chest. “I think I’ve seen you before. In my Taekwondo’s match. Right?!”

Never in a million years have you thought that Seokjin might notice—and even remember your face amongst the large crowd, watching him in his battles for your college’s team. You are always hidden, and as plain as ever whenever you watch him from the bleachers, and would run away the second whistle blows signaling the end of the competition. But now he told you he recognizes you?! Gosh, what are the odds. You have never felt so shameful and concious of your own skin before.

“Um… Yes! But you have nothing to worry, I’m not a stalker or anything, I just really like taekwondo and I like watching you—I mean the team!” You shyly correct yourself, internally punishing yourself for the accidental slip. You are such a humiliation and frankly, still too sober for this. What will you trade to forget the encounter never happened and drown yourself in booze in every form—drinks, beer, jelly shots, whatever.

“No! Of course not.” He chuckles, amused like he is really content to see you, nonchalant to how uncomfortable you are with your skin right now. You feel like a doofus, making a fool of yourself. “I really want to talk to you every time a match is finished, but you always bolt away after, I don’t have the chance to.” Then he dare to fucking winks. “But I’m glad we can finally meet here.” 

You are too confused with every act and word coming out of his mouth—did he just flirt with you?—so your reply is simple, and desperate. “Wow. Sorry, I seriously need a drink right now. Can you hold that thought?”

Seokjin chuckles and nods, his palm hovers over your back, guiding you. “I’ll come with you.” You don’t really know why he has to follow just for you to shortly grab a drink, and then he points to his empty glass. You nod knowingly, trying to focus on the booze bar you are heading to. The bar is crazy extravagant for a frat party, with the bartender pouring mixed drinks on the side. You silently gasp. Damn, Hoseok is really that rich, huh?

He continues with a cheeky smile. “I have been looking forward to talking to you since forever, and you just bolted out. Is it wrong of me to be scared you are going to pull the same trick again?”

Wow, you don’t even know what he means by that, so you let out a nervous chuckle as an answer. It is like you are back to third grade, having your first crush giving you hope by his words and you are busy configuring and overthinking everything like fucking detective conan. But you refuse to get your hopes up, your brain desperately screaming to fill your glass with your favorite whiskey. You offer him the bottle, and he smirks and receives it while purposefully brushing your hand in the process. Fuck Kim Seokjin. What happen to such a polite boy you heard so much about?!

“So, are you going to tell me about yourself?” He smiles, and your finger fidgets in nerve, quickly taking a whole gulp of the alcoholic drink, praying it to quickly intoxicate your mind so you can speak clearly in front of such handsome face. Well, for one booze is the best recipe for you during these times.

“I don’t know what you want to know about me, Seokjin. I’m just an ordinary freshman.” You smile, your teeth grazing your lower lips. But one thing you notice is that Seokjin is silent, his eyes following the movement of your bitten lips like he is completely bothered by it.

“Do you like taekwondo? I see you a lot in the match.” He starts with a simple question, while taking a large portion of his drink down his throat and ending it with a sigh. “When you were watching, you looked like you knew your stuff. It’s TMI, but I can’t help but to find it’s totally, totally hot.”

“So you are watching me watching people during a Taekwondo match?” You bravely shoot, and Seokjin let out a chuckle. You do not know what has gotten on him—or you, even at that point. What you know is that you feel your head is light, but your body is hot and bothered by just looking at him. Seokjin just literally flirts on you and all you wanna do is to jump on him and quench the thirst rubbing in the middle of your thigh.

At the time, you notice that Seokjin is bluntly staring at your lips, his eyes turned dark and heavy with lust, and his face literally inching closer and closer to you. You lick your lips, suddenly finding it hard to swallow. Is it really going to happen? Seokjin somehow, against all odds, finds you hot and that's it—you’re going to kiss him like that? Just how many years of luck do you have to sacrifice for this?

“Seokjin! Here you are. Hoseok is looking for you.”

The strange sexual tension that filled the air between you and Seokjin with your lips just inches away from each other is broken by the dumbest fuck of a best friend, Jeon Jungkook. Seokjin immediately flinches, moving away and you instinctively turn your head, your hands scratching your nape out of shyness. You swear you are going to kill your best friend after this. How dare he interrupt the moment you have been dreaming for such a long time now?!

“Thanks for that, man.” Seokjin hisses, his words dripping with sarcasm and annoyance of your interrupted session. He turns his regretful eyes to you, hands resting on your shoulder, sliding to your wrist affectionately. You do not know whether it’s just you, but your body feels like it is set on fire with his light , feathery touches. He suddenly grabs your hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“I’ll find you later, yeah? Don’t go anywhere.”

You shyly nod, and Seokjin turns his back on both of you and walks further away to the other side of the gigantic house. After his disappearance, you quickly land a hard punch on Jungkook’s arm in agitation.

“You are fucking idiot and I hate you! How dare you interrupt us like that?! We were just about to kiss, you moron!”

Jungkook frowns, rubbing on the spot you just hit. “Hey! I am doing this for your own good. You are certainly going to regret kissing that guy! He is not that good, you’re better off without him.”

You hisses at his lackluster explanation. “I don’t know what crack you are sniffing, Jeon, but you just told me yesterday to attend this party and bone him. And now you’re pulling this shit?!” 

“I know! But I just don’t like it with him. I feel like he’s up to something.” You sigh after listening to his nonsense. Seriously, you can’t believe it. The first time you ever try to flirt and kiss someone you just met, and get a response—from Kim Seokjin, more to emphasize—at a party has to be interrupted by your fuckboy best friend. You have overestimated your luck.

At your sudden silence, Jungkook takes the time to raise his gaze and take in your appearance from head to toe. You are wearing your black sleeveless bodycon dress, the one you once drunkenly bought a year ago and always have been placed on the back of your closet. You compliment your dress with a pair of red heels, fresh from Lia’s closet. Your wavy hair is styled nicely, tied up that exhibits your neck line to the slightest of your collarbone. Your makeup is rather simple, but the red lips is just the perfect end-touch to your appearance today. You are simply beautiful.

“Why are you looking at me like that, you hobo?” You snort when feeling Jungkook’s gaze is too intimidating around your body—you fold your arms protectively on your chest. At your mocking question, Jungkook quickly throws his head somewhere else, sniffling his itchy nose. He seriously needs to catch himself before he erupts and makes a fool out of himself. But one he somehow forgets is that his body is way, way more truthful in speaking his mind than he really is. 

“Hey! How was it? Have you scored Seokjin yet?”

On your side, Lia shuffles with a bottle of beer and a knowing smirk. You sigh, shaking your head mournfully. Your wingman nearly yells.

“Why?! I voluntarily shove you too, back then! I saw you guys are chilling together so I decided to grab something for a sec and now you’re telling me he’s gone and you both did nothing?!”

To answer her question, you just vehemently point Jungkook. “This asshole decided to ruin everything. Just when it is about to happen, Lia! His lips were this close.” You mourn your lost chance, mimicking his lips hovering over yours. Jungkook quickly pushes your hand away from your lips with annoyance, eyebrows scrunched together in disgust. 

“You are creepy, and I am doing this for the sake of my frat brother. He is better off with someone else.” He pouts, his face looking severely annoyed and red. But it’s not just any kind of red. It’s vermillion, just the way you remember it from your elementary school, along with the childish pout on his lips. Ignoring your previous anger at him, you scrutinize his face closely and shift his face side by side with your palm, and he looks completely flustered. What in god’s name is happening?

“Hey, why are you so red, Jungkook? Are you okay?”

At the sudden attention thrown at him, Jungkook’s face just becomes even redder—if it is even possible. Realizing that he is in a very unfortunate situation at the moment, Jungkook quickly racks his brain for any reason to avoid your pesky questions. “I—I just think it’s too hot in here. Don’t you think so?”

“There’s literally four air conditioners in this room, Jungkook. It’s freezing cold in this place. Who the fuck has four ac in just a living room anyway? Damn you, capitalism!” You hissed, unamused with his lies. Jungkook grins, realizing how idiotic he must have sounded. At your last statement, you are suddenly self-conscious about the coldness in the room, rubbing your bare arms to create friction and warmth. He quickly notices your subtle gesture.

“Are you cold? Here, use my jacket.” Jungkook instinctively offers, not even waiting for your answer and unattaching the fabric of his body. At the kind gesture, you are touched as he seems to always understand you without you even need to say a thing. But when you see he is just wearing a body-fit black shirt underneath the denim jacket he was wearing—clearly, that jacket is going to go either way—you immediately snort. That bitch is just asking for an opportunity to flex the unnecessary muscle in front of the girls there, no need for you to feel flattered whatsoever.

“God, you’re both so fuckin domestic and boring. I’m off finding fun somewhere else, don’t wait for me~” Lia coos, walking to the other side of the house along with her bottle of beer. Well, Lia basically knows her ways in and out of frat parties, so you are not worried for her. If somehow Seokjin does not find his way back in thirty minutes, you promise yourself to hitch an uber as fast as you can and bolt out of that shitshow without making a scene. 

As the girl who somehow looks exactly like his ex exits their space, Jungkook reverts his focus back on you. You are busy looking anywhere else but him, your lips clamp on the glass to sip on the beverage. “Aren’t you tired with those heels? Let’s sit somewhere else.” He offers lowly.

You comply either way, somehow feeling a little bit suspicious over Jungkook’s sudden calm demeanor. You know him and how he is at parties. He should not be with you right now, instead joining his dumb jock friends and the girls at the other side playing body shots. This is borderline weird—you don’t want to interrupt him during his fuckboy activities, now both you and Jungkook are seated on the sofa in the corner of the room. 

“Are you okay, Jungkook? You are suspiciously silent.”

Jungkook clears his throat again, but all of a sudden loses all remaining composure when your finger delightfully skims his cheek. “And your face is red. There must be something wrong. The last time I saw you like this was—”

Jungkook knows what you are about to say but decided not to. He decided to ignore your suddenly awkward gesture and answers. “It’s not that, I—I’m just not feeling it tonight.”

You suddenly scoop his fingers and squeeze it lightly. “Is it because I am here? I swear Jungkook, you don’t have to accompany me. I’m perfectly fine on my own, you know it.”

“I want to accompany you.” Jungkook denies, not knowing how to speak his mind in any other way. His gaze is filled with unexpected sincerity, you don’t really know how and why. “I attend these parties, meet these people nearly everyday, Y/N. But they don’t have what we have. And now that you here, of course I would rather be with you.”

You don’t know whether it is the alcohol in your spine or the bass thumping likely on your heart, but you clearly feel something about the words. You feel important. You feel needed. And the way Jungkook looks at you right now? You feel like it’s somehow filled with new, raw emotions you never found on him before. The way his fingers are clasped on you—it’s like he is holding it for dear life. You can not deny that you are mildly confused by the sudden tension between you and Jungkook.

“Here you are, Y/N. I’ve been searching for you.” 

Seokjin is now standing in front of you and Jungkook, his eyes silently trailing on the fingers intertwined with you and your best friend, but refusing to comment. Realizing how awkward the moment must have been for the three of you, you swiftly jump on your feet, cheeks slightly reddening out of shyness while Seokjin still maintains the charming smile on his lips. “Can I take you somewhere else? This party is too loud. Let’s go somewhere quieter.”

“Mmm.. Okay.” You mutter, trying your best not to glance at Jungkook. You want to avoid adding more fuel to the awkwardness—well, you are too emotionally incapable to face whatever emotion you were having with Jungkook just now. He is just a thoughtful best friend, why are you even dwelling on it like it’s something new in your friendship? And being the coward you truly are, you answer the offer of Seokjin’s hand, following him to the outside without glancing even once at Jungkook. Even if all you can think about is him and what the hell just happened.

*

It’s been nearly two weeks, but you have yet to receive any message, or call, or anything from Jungkook. It’s not his fault, though—you could have started a conversation yourself, but you always find yourself hesitating while typing words on your screen. Maybe it’s because Jungkook has mostly been the one to start any conversation, and now nearly two weeks has passed since your last encounter and you have no idea how to start. Idiot.

You are still lounging in your bed, mustering yourself to be brave enough to say anything to Jungkook. When suddenly a message arrives, you are startled, swiftly clicking it open. But seeing the sender, you sigh in disappointment. It’s not Jungkook.

From : Seokjin

Hey, you are coming to the practice, right? [12:40]

Do you want to grab a bite after that? I have this coupon I need to use:) [12:41]

Ah, Seokjin. Since that fateful night in the party, you have been frequently hanging out with him. He is a senior in your department—he is even the assistant for some of your classes—so you do meet frequently. It is weird now that you are acquainted with him, he is everywhere, like literally everywhere. Especially because after that night, he asks you to join the taekwondo club based on your interest and previous experience. And who are you to reject? You like Taekwondo, and you like him. Talking about killing two birds with one stone, right?

But now you feel on the edge nearly all the time because your fuckboy best friend is missing in action. You want to tell him everything, but you feel like you have sinned him greatly for ditching him that night. It’s even hard to find out why! All you know that he might just find another girl to fuck with that night, and both of you know that the only thing in first that invite you to the party is because Seokjin is there—even Jungkook propose you to bone him! You seriously hate yourself for feeling this way.

“Jungkook, you are a complete moron!” You hiss, throw the phone to the desk and dip your face to the pillow.

Okay, new plan. It’s better for you to just meet and confront him directly. So tomorrow after class, you are going to meet him after his 8am, and just point and blame him for ghosting your friendship. Well, he is not ghosting, but that’s not the point! It’s a brilliant plan, yet you find yourself strangely terrified for what is about to happen.

*

Tomorrow morning, you are going to ask Lia to walk to class together, yet you find she is already missing, bed is made and cleaned. It’s weird to see her wake up so early since she is absolutely not a morning person, but you shrug it anyway, expecting to see her in class. Still, even after the professor arrives, you find her regular place beside you is empty. You send her a message, but it is met with no reply. Skipping class is not really rare in her case, so you just silently attend, mind filled with the plan you will execute later on.

After class, as previously planned, you directly head to Jungkook’s faculty. You can remember it vividly, Jungkook’s class for the morning is always running late due to his old as hell professor, who talks extremely slowly and loves to discuss anything but the topic he is supposed to teach, hence your plan. You are going to wait in front of his class, supposedly asking to grab brunch together before accusing him for ignoring you altogether.

But then, what you find while walking on the bridge connecting the two faculties catch you by surprise. It is Lia, talking to a man who's back you easily identify as Jungkook—you can detect those small waist everywhere, hidden cladly in a slim fit dress shirt. Both of them are engaged in serious talk, with Jungkook’s face a little bit tense and Lia’s face looking like she completely had enough.

Lia? And Jungkook? Your eyes must be deceiving you right now.

With all will, you march onto them, and even the fact that they are talking, just the two of them without you is weird enough, they don’t even realize your presence until you are tapping on Jungkook’s shoulder with a suspecting gaze. The moment he finds you, he unconsciously jumps a few steps back with a loud gasp, exactly like whenever he has been caught doing something bad. “Y/N! You’re here!”

“Yes. I was just about to catch you after your class, Jungkook, maybe we can grab a bite together.” The moment you let out those words, you heard Lia snickers and Jungkook immediately throws her a look. 

“Finally. You both should eat together! and I don’t know—maybe be truthful at each other? or anything, I don’t care. I’m out of here.” She walks out, not minding your voice calling out to her. You seriously have zero idea what she means, but Jungkook quickly places his hands on both your shoulders—desperate for your focus, his cheeks now colored in bright shade of red.

“Don’t mind her. Let’s go eat.”

You stop your track against Jungkook’s force of pulling you away, scrutinizing his face closer with a worried gaze. “Jungkook, you are acting weird. And you are sooo red. Are you sure you are okay?”

Jungkook hastily nods, pulling you to the place you both usually grab coffee at, not really far from his faculty. On the way, both of you still fall in silence, and one thing your eyes could focus on is his fingers, tightly intertwined on yours—the same gesture he has been doing for around ten years now. 

Is it weird that now you definitely do not feel nothing from just holding his hands?

*

Both of you are seated on your usual spot—near the window inside the coffee shop, right after ordering. “So. Are you going to tell me where you have been these past two weeks?” You questions, sipping on your usual choice of espresso. Jungkook grimaces, his fingers clasping against each other nervously. Not that he expects you to beat around the bush.

“I am just kinda busy. With practice and studying.” He silently answers, eyes still not looking anywhere else but you. And what kind of best friend are you not to notice that?

You nod cryptically, decide against pushing it.  Even though skeptic, what he said does seems plausible. “So, what’s up?’

“Just the regular.”

Your left eyebrows raise. “No news on your fuckboy conquest of one night stands?”

Jungkook eyebrows scrunched. “You’re disgusting.”

You are baffled at that. “What?! I am disgusting? Jungkook, you have been explicitly telling me stories about these girls you sleep with for already two years now. What are you, playing coy?“

Jungkook sighs tiredly. Instead of answering, he reaches for your glass of espresso, sipping it before wincing due to the bitterness—like a fucking moron doing his usual thing. It seems already too familiar, so you just shrug it and focus on the initial topic instead. “I just… I haven’t been sleeping with anyone these past two weeks, okay?”

You send him a cryptic look, and Jungkook complains in frustration. “I am not lying! I am not an animal, okay? I am tired sometimes, and I am allowed to not do that anymore.”

“Jungkook, there is no way you are not going to parties and not sleeping with these girls. You have been doing these for two years. What gives?” You push, as you know there must be something he is hiding from you. Jungkook sighs, looking at you with a gaze filled with strange emotions.

“I—I haven’t been to parties too. Look, I am just not feeling it, okay? I just.. I just needed a break.”

Looking at Jungkook, it is difficult to even imagine him not doing all his usual popular jock activities. And now he told you he hasn’t been to parties for two weeks? It’s really unlike him. He hasn’t missed a single party for these past two years since high school to the point you have a hard time remembering what he used to do on Friday nights. Something must have happened, that’s for certain.

“Do you want to tell me why?” You ask him carefully, your fingers reaching out to his. He looks up at you, something in his face tells you that something indeed has happened. And suddenly, your mind flashes to the event that just occurred. Could it be?

“Does it have anything to do with Lia? This morning, when you met her?”

Jungkook’s eyes bulge, his hands are harshly pulled to his lap, away from you. You can detect his chest pumped, heaving too much air in, eyes nervously scanning away. Too many reactions for a mere ‘nothing happened’. “I—I don’t know? What do you mean?”

“It’s weird! You were literally avoiding her before, Jungkook. But then I saw you meeting her alone. What happened? Tell me.” You persuade, determine to get to the end of it. But the answer you are given is only a nervous shake of head, with shade of red slowly creeping in his face. Another trait that you know from Jungkook, is his inability to hide his feelings—at least in front of you.

Due to his prolonged silence for his orders arrival, you silently guess what might have happened with him. A flash of unpleasant image enters your head and you wince internally. God, please don’t let it be true. You even have a hard time to spell those words. 

“Jungkook, please tell me you didn’t sleep with her.”

Jungkook’s face is flushed in a bright shade of red, as he shakes his head vigorously. “You are crazy. I did not sleep with your best friend.”

A sense of relief washes you. “So tell me what it is! What is it that you can’t possibly tell me? It must be it, or do you expect me to believe you somehow have feelings for her?!” You mindlessly intrude, but now seeing Jungkook’s face is vermillion red and how silent he is for a few seconds after the accusation, you can’t even believe there is a chance it might be true.

You hesitantly approach, voice caught up midways. “You… do you have feelings for Lia?”

Jungkook stares back at you, and you can see a hint of sadness on his eyes. Internally, he is terribly conflicted. He doesn’t know what he can say to you. He already has the answer to your query on the tip of his tongue, clearer than anything else but he cannot do that. It would be unfair to everyone, especially you. 

In life, Jungkook believes he is a risk taker—he is taught that way, ever since he was a little kid. Risk is what makes life even better and interesting. But how can he gamble with what you both have right now? He could never take that risk for what you have right now with him. It’s too much in stake—a game not worthy to play, and he knows his chances like the back of his hand. So he forces a smile, mustering all his might to say something that he is well aware does not reflect what he is truly feeling.

“I—I think so..”

Listening to his answer, you nod slowly, not knowing exactly how you feel. You are happy for him—for Jungkook to finally find someone he likes, someone who can get him off the meaningless sex routine he has been accustomed to for awhile now. And truth to be told? Lia is one of the best girls you ever acquaintanced with. If one thing you can ever count on, is that both of your best friends are great people that somehow grealy deserve each other. Lia is pretty, smart, fun to talk and party with, and allegedly good at sex—you don’t really now, it’s just what she claims to be—and Jungkook is the kindest soul out there—even if he is a certified douchebag once in a while—but they really fit each other well.

But is it disappointment in the pit of your stomach?

Noticing how silent you have become, Jungkook quickly takes the opportunity and changes the topic he instantly regrets. “So, how are things with Seokjin? I hear you both are hitting it well.”

Your throat feels constricted, so you clear it, hoping your stupefiedness is unrecognizable. “Yup. He is a good guy. I am now in the Taekwondo club as well, so… yeah I’ve been seeing him a lot too.”

“I am glad you finally got into the club! I remember how much of a pain you are, always go on and on talking about Taekwondo.” He rigidly smiles, eyes still trained on the dish served in front of him, cutting it in pieces. God, he is seriously digging his own grave with this fake supportive best friend shit.

“Yeah, whose fault is it that I got off Taekwondo in the first place, huh?”

Jungkook sighs, resting his utensils on the plate. He is aware of it very well, he knows what a fucking coward he has been since little, which may had forced you giving up on taekwondo—something you really loved. You can’t even imagine how guilty he is about everything. You have been the one thing keeping him sane, yet he always thinks himself on the recipient side of the friendship. And the midst of his current vulnerable state, he feels greatly undeserving of you. Who is he kidding? You might even regret saving him from humiliation on that fateful day, ten years ago.

Sensing that your joke may have not been taken well by Jungkook, you reach out to him, placing your palm on his, trying to soothe the indignation palpable on his face. “Jungkook, I am sorry.. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.. I know. It’s okay.” Jungkook answers, lips pursed into a tight line. You can see that he is indeed piqued, and truthfully, it is your fault. He always blames himself for the time he felt you sacrificed so much for him—like Taekwondo, for example. You convince him that it is not his fault since you can always go back to Taekwondo again—you just choose not to, but he always blames himself, thinking of the what ifs. You should not have brought it up and joked about it.

The silence then ensues, the tension between you and him thickens like you can slice it and choke it down your throat. You were about to apologize again, right when your phone rings and displays Seokjin’s name on the screen .Jungkook definitely saw the name too himself. You are hesitating whether to answer or not, before Jungkook answers it for you rigidly, jaw clenched tight. 

“Answer it.” 

When you are in the middle of conversation with Seokjin—and unimportant one, Jin is just asking what are you doing because he is bored in the middle of intensive taekwondo training, so you just casually tell him about grabbing a brunch with Jungkook—your best friend quickly flips few bills from his wallet, raising up from his seat. You swiftly hold him back, cutting off the ongoing call without even saying goodbyes. “Jungkook, where are you going?”

“I guess you must be somewhere with Seokjin, right? Let’s go, don’t want to keep the handsome boy waiting.”

The way Jungkook pronounces every word is heavy with sarcasm, and it wounds you. Is he seriously telling you that you are going to ditch him for Seokjin? Dry tears are lounging on the corner of your eyes till your visions are blurry, and it is hard to even breathe. How dare he play that game to you? Does he really think he has any right to treat you like that?

Jungkook must have noticed your contorted face and inevitable tears, and he is quick to apologize. “I am sorry, I didn't mean it like—”

“Save it.” You curtly cut him, slapping a few bills on the table. “It’s my turn to pay now. And you are correct. Thank you for that, I will find that handsome boy right now.”

If Jungkook calls you again, you are unable to hear it. Too pissed off to even breathe, your head feels like it’s about to explode along with tears that are quick to rain on your parade.

*

After you storm off the brunch with Jungkook, your afternoon class is fortunately cancelled. Instead of going with your words and meeting Seokjin, you decide you are too emotionally exhausted and head back home. So here you are, chilling in your apartment alone, watching netflix and eating popcorn after completing a long nap of five hours straight. Your phone is far ducked inside your room, as you notice Jungkook has blown off your phone for quite a while now, and you are this close to answer it so you throw it away. That bastard definitely deserves a lesson for pulling an unfunny passive aggressive prank like that.

While you are in the middle of refilling your bowl for the second batch of popcorn, your apartment door is swung opened. It is Lia, with a huge triumphant smile on her face. “Look what I brought us!”

You don’t even know the reason why, the moment you are looking at Lia’s face, you immediately remember Jungkook’s claim that he has feelings for this girl. For your best friend. For a girl who looks exactly like his ex. Damn, did you really sound that bitter?

“What is it?” You fake enthusiasm, even if what you really want to do is sigh and roll your eyes. 

“Chicken and beer! Not just chicken, this is the exact brand and flavor you like! I think since we rarely hang out nowadays, tonight we can watch bad movies together and eat and drink unhealthy food and drinks we probably will regret in the morning!” She cheerfully shouts, resting the packages of food on the table, running to her room to change into comfy clothes.

You bite your lips, regretting how undeserved she is for your cynical thoughts. You are greatly touched by her mindful gesture. Albeit harsh and sometimes cold, Lia is really affectionate at times, kind and selfless to her friends, especially you. You can’t even count how much she helped you, saving you from an embarrassment or humiliation due your sloppy and forgetful trait. The mind is indeed a dangerous place, and you should limit any possible toxicity that might be planted and grow in it.

So you and Lia jump to watch some chick flick which she always denies to like, but somehow always in tears after. One thing that you might not realize is that you often find yourself staring at her, thinking about how easy it is to like her. She is really the dream girl. Pretty, strong, funny and independent. She’s basically perfect. You even doubt Jungkook deserves her, seriously.

“Honey, another look and I think I might just go gay for you.” Lia sighs, resting the chicken drumstick on the plate. You avert your eyes on the TV, shy of being caught staring. “What is it? Are you falling for me? I swear—”

“No, I just.. Nothing.”

You are silent, busy gulping the beer to hide how flustered you are right now. Damn, are you really that obvious? “There must be something. Y/N, I will not push, but you know you can tell me everything. Nothing will surprise me, seriously.”

You nod, throwing your attention back to the movie. But not even five minutes, the curiosity gets the best of you, so you decide to mum a question to her. 

“Lia, what do you think about Jungkook?”

You kind of wish she does not hear you, but it is instantly cancelled since she answers. Yup, she can hear your silly question, loud and clear.

“Jungkook? He is hot, good looking and kind. A little dumb and blabber a little bit too much, but I think it’s manageable.” She nonchalantly answers, suddenly her prodding eyes are thrown at you. “Where does this suspicious question come from?”

“Nothing! I just want to know what you think of him.” You bitterly smile. Yes, definitely that and only that.

Another ten minutes pass and you open another question, still full of hesitation whether it’s best to ask or just keep it to yourself, yet it’s literally killing you so you ask anyway. “Hypothetically speaking. If… I don’t know, Jungkook confesses to you he likes you. Would you accept it?”

Lia looks at you strangely — like you have grown another head, when her face suddenly brightens, an imaginary light bulb practically pictured on her head. A sleazy smile is worn on her lips, her eyebrows wiggling playfully. “Ah! So that is about all this. Finally!”

“Of course! Jungkook is a nice guy, he is kind, respectful, albeit a little annoying and dumb, he is hot, which kinda makes it even. He listens well, and strangely gives good advice.” Lia brightly smiles, literally like the woman who endorses cooking items in the supermarket to middle aged mothers. “I think anyone having a monogamous relationship with that manchild is very, very lucky!”

You do notice how exaggerated and odd her sentence is, but when you are about to reply, few soft knocks are heard on your door. So keeping the words back, you wake up and mindlessly open it.

Well, It turns out to be Seokjin, and he could arguably be the last person you think would be standing in front of your doorstep now.

“Seokjin? What are you doing here, at this time of the night?”

Seokjin answers with a serene smile, his eyes sparkling amidst the dim hallway. “I am sorry to be at your doorstep this late. I just… I just want to talk to you. Is that weird?”

Your heart literally skips a beat at that. Seriously? Seokjin comes to your apartment at 10pm just to talk to you? Is this even real? “You can’t just call me? Not that I’m not glad to see you, but I don’t want to tire you. You just finished your crazy tiring training!”

“I’ve been trying to contact you, but I went into voicemail. So I guess, more reason to meet you, right?” Seokjin shyly smiles, scratching his nape. God, have you ever mentioned that he is really cute? “I hope I’m not a bother.”

“No! Of course not. But my roommate is here. Do you want to go somewhere else? I think one restaurant near here is still open.” You quickly offer and Seokjin agrees with a nod. You are hurriedly about to grab your purse, when Lia walks out to the doorstep, meeting Seokjin.

“Hi! You must be the roommate. I’m Seokjin.” Seokjin offers a hand along with a charming smile. Lia receives it with confusion written on her face. 

“Are you both going somewhere?” She asks, puzzled. You slightly run to the door, hoping there is nothing to be discussed amongst the three of you anymore.

“Yes! We are. I’ll be back soon, see you!” You quickly smile and close the door right on her face. Damn, you don’t know what has gotten into you, but you really can’t seem to shake that cautious feeling. It really needs time before you even consider letting Seokjin hang out with your nosy friends. Like Lia, or even Jungkook.

Especially Jungkook.

*

Jungkook is sitting with Taehyung, his project mate on the corner of a restaurant near your apartment. He has been trying to contact you since afternoon but you still haven’t replied to his call nor messages, it makes him feel guilty beyond words. He shouldn’t have snapped like that at you, you literally did nothing and he blew everything way out of proportion—especially when that dickhead Seokjin called you. And now he is nearly losing his mind, because he doesn’t want to spend another minute in your probable wrath. How can everything be so messed up?

“Dude, stop calling her. She’ll call you soon. Why is this such a big deal?” Taehyung groans when Jungkook relentlessly dial your number once more. He doesn’t even know why, but another call you ignore, he might combust and run to your apartment, begging for reconciliation. He is seriously just that desperate.

The call fails, yet Jungkook is still tapping on the call again button when Taehyung meddles in his pathetic best friend obsession. “Hey, stop! Why are you doing this, dude? You like this girl or what?” 

At Taehyung’s accusation, Jungkook was silent. “I don’t know. But I can’t stop, Tae. Or I’ll go crazy.”

Taehyung sighs, giving up and instead going back to his work. As long as the tasks are divided, he would not be bothered by his friend’s crazy fixation towards a so-called-friend. Seriously, why do people even want to monogamously date? It’s such a hassle, and unimportant. Girlfriends are liabilities, and Jungkook of all people should know it!

After being rejected for another three calls, Jungkook finally gives up, slamming the phone on the desk. “I give up. She’ll never answer. Fuck it, I need to work.”

Taehyung glances at that guy trying to focus on the task in front of him. Everyone can see how out of place he is—if there’s a guarantee Jungkook will not land a punch to his precious face, he really wants to tease him right now it is hilarious. Damn, his friend is whipped.

Amongst the silence, Jungkook’s phone suddenly rings. Throwing the thousand page book in his grasps right away, he answers it like a madman—probably without even checking the caller. It must not be the girl of his dreams, since his hopeful puppy face instantly sombers.

“Of course not! How can I, we just got into a fight.”

After listening to the faint caller’s word, his knuckles intimidatingly whiten due, jaw tightening. “Seriously? They are leaving now?”

A few banter and the call ends, but Taehyung can see how bothered the guy is after the call. He is no longer bothered to even pretend he is working, instead his eyes hollow, zooming out to nothingness. But another five minutes, a slight tingling from the entrance bell is heard and Jungkook feels like his heart is about to fall out he instinctively ducks his head. Taehyung tries to steal a look to the source of attention, and it’s you, the girl he has seen a lot previously with Jungkook and Seokjin… Together while holding hands.

Oh, oh. This is bad.

Jungkook really should just storm out. He is never the masochist type, but somehow curiosity gets the best of him so he stays, his work is completely ignored. He focuses on glaring to the other side of the restaurant where you and Seokjin sit near the window, nonchalant to his presence while lively and affectionately talking to each other. And for fuck sake, can fucking Seokjin get his hands off you? It takes everything in his power to ignore the need to slap those dirty paws away.

“Jungkook, we should go..” Taehyung silently pleads, noticing how tense his friend has become since you and Seokjin arrived. But Jungkook is unable to hear or sense anything, was too focused on probing both of you while trying not to be caught.

It is a rather short meal, as you and Seokjin only ordered a dessert to share and Jungkook is irritated. You finished a bowl of ice cream in one sitting and you can’t seriously get a dessert for your own? Disgusting—After approximately thirty minutes, you and Seokjin head out, hand by hand with a sickeningly shy smile on both of your faces.

Jungkook thinks that is the end of it, thank God he can finally breathe. But how wrong he was to even think he will remain unscathed, because as both of you stand in front of the restaurant, Seokjin bravely pulls you closer by the nape and crashes his lips on yours. It feels like a punch to Jungkook’s gut, seeing how blissful both of you are engaged in a sweet kiss, your hands on his cheek and his hands clasped on your waist. There’s the anger, the jealousy raging inside Jungkook’s chest at the moment that it’s even difficult to breathe. 

As now both of you and Seokjin have left the scene, Taehyung forces himself from the tense situation to steal a glance at Jungkook. Just seeing him—staring at the ceiling with no expression whatsoever—radiates the devastation and frustration he is currently experiencing. God, Taehyung hopes he will never have to experience that kind of emotion in his life.

*

During ten years of friendship with Jungkook, you never knew what it feels to have him avoid you. But now that you are exactly being treated like a plague by him, you wish you were warned beforehand because it fucking hurts. And you have no idea how or why, and you have no one to console your loss — not even Seokjin, or Lia. Well it mostly because you don’t want them to realize how fucking dependent you are to Jungkook, it’s pathetic.

“Kitten, you are spazzing out. Are you sure you are okay?”

Seokjin’s words are nearly lost on you, and the moment his hand is on yours, you unconsciously flinch. He is now examining you, with a gaze full of worry. 

“If you are feeling not okay, we can just go home.” Seokjin kindly offers, but you shake your head fervently, not wanting to wallow again in your sadness. You can’t take this away from Seokjin, when it’s his dearest fellow frat brothers—especially the seniors who are having the party. Seokjin as the angel he is will not let you be alone in your apartment.

Since the day you meet Jungkook for brunch, a week has passed and it seems like you and him are in the middle of a cold war. It’s not like you are not speaking to each other, but every word coming from him speaks distance and you are tired and just stop trying—yet it doesn’t lessen the pain. And now you are going with Seokjin for his frat party, and you know Jungkook will be there—it might be the reason you are simultaneously eager and despise going to the party. You are terribly anxious about facing him, but you can’t back down when you know you did nothing wrong.

In front of the frat house, Seokjin holds your hand and brushes his lips to your temple as an encouragement. “Let’s go in, shall we?”

You throw your gaze at Seokjin’s side profile. Seriously, what did you do to deserve him? He is seriously the kindest soul out there, always looking for your best interest. He never hesitates to go big for you, yet you can help but to feel guilty. He is too kind. Too perfect. And you can’t shake this feeling of undeserving and owning him everything to him.

The moment your feet step into the party, your eyes instantly fall to someone so familiar yet so strange—Jungkook. He is leaning on a sofa, talking animatedly with two girls on either side, leeching to him like they are willing to take turns to suck him dry. You roll your eyes in disgust. What were you expecting? That Jungkook might go celibate and seriously get a grip on his life? You must be drunk. That bastard can’t even face the fact that he likes someone and actually does something about it.

Yes. He likes Lia. But being a total fuckboy is not what someone should do when he seriously likes someone, right? You just want the best for him, not wanting Jungkook to waste another time when he can have someone he truly likes instead of engaging in another one night stand.

While Seokjin is chatting with his group of friends, you excuse yourself to grab a drink. He, as the gentleman he is, offers to accompany you, but you refuse—mentioning it will only take a short while. And after finally settling in the kitchen where you can finally have a space for your own, you heave few deep breaths. You do not know exactly why, but being surrounded among strangers always sends you to a nervous bundle. 

That’s exactly the reason why you always avoid going to parties. You wanted to tell Seokjin about the anxiety you feel, but you feel like it’s too much of a burden to throw on him so you just swallow everything and hope for the best—but now you regret everything. At least previously, you have Lia and you are assured she is going to take care of you. Not that you don’t think Seokjin will not, but the trust issue you have for nearly everyone is not going to go away when you literally only know him for one freaking month.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Suddenly, a familiar voice is heard and you look behind, seeing Jungkook with a worried gaze, his palm soothing your back. “You don’t really look good. Does the party bother you?”

You bask in his appearance, and sense the anxiety building up inside your head crashes into a loud sob. Seeing such a familiar face, worried about your well-being somehow instantly relieves you, and the emotion is excessive and you inevitably feel the urge to cry. 

“Hey, hey. Don’t cry.” Jungkook whispers, pulling you inside his arms and enveloping you with the ever-so-familiar warmth. His fingers forming circles in your back, just the way he used to calm you on every rainy day, while you clutch into his jacket for dear life. 

“Why do you even come here, you idiot? You should have let me know.”

His ignorant statement somehow flares the anger inside you, and you irritatedly push him away with both your palms. Jungkook is a jerk, and you do not deserve any of this. “How can I let you know, Jungkook? When it’s crystal clear you are avoiding me. I haven’t heard anything other than your one two word messages. I can’t even call you!” 

The guilt is definitely painted on his face, confirming a guess that has been going around your head. He truly was avoiding you. “I—I don’t mean it like that…”

“What wrong did I do, Jungkook? How can you do this to me?” You whimper sadly. All the frustration inside you is coming out. “I know I was wrong, but this is not how we resolve things, Jungkook. You know it. And you can’t even tell me what’s wrong directly to my face, or even try to reconcile our friendship, instead you go back to partying, eye fucking two girls at the same time when I’m standing right here. Do you even know how it makes me feel?”

“It’s not that!” Jungkook defends himself, feeling the obnoxious guilt seeping inside his heart. He feels at fault now seeing how heartbroken you look, and the fact that he is the one causing them. It’s like he is finally awoken, that he has been selfishly trying to redeem himself from a one-sided love for his childhood best friend without thinking about how you feel. But in his defense, he thought you would be okay! 

“I...I just thought now that you have Seokjin, you won’t be needing me no more. He seems to be such a better companion than I am. And I know you like him so much, Y/N, I feel like...”

“Hey. Are you okay?” 

All of a sudden, Seokjin appears in the kitchen, staring at both you and Jungkook standing in front of each other with somber looks on each of your faces. He definitely was about to say something, but like he sobers up and puts up a thin smile and reaches out to you. “You take a long time to get a drink, so I thought I should check up on you.”

You quickly grab the nearest bottle of beer, giving a short, civilized smile to Jungkook to handle the pain throbbing inside his chest. You desperately need space away from him, swearing that you would do anything to avoid breakdown in the middle of a frat party filled with tons of strangers. “Excuse me.”

“Hey, Seokjin! Get your girl, we are going to play!”

That trademark voice was definitely Hoseok’s, gesturing you to join the circle of group with countless shots in the center—which is literally a recipe for a disastrous night. Seokjin is about to wave him off, intending to focus on your well being instead, but that is seriously the last thing you want to do right now. All you need is alcohol—lots of them and avoid whatever internal conflict you are having since that’s what you do best. Hence, you pull the older guy closer to the group cheering them on, forcing him to sit down beside you. 

“Hey, we don’t have to do this if you are not comfortable.” Seokjin consoles, his hands smoothing on your thigh. 

“But I want to!” You fake a cheer, pretending to sound enthusiastic. “I haven’t done this in a long time. I wanna do this again.”

Jimin—one of the other frat brothers, is counting the people and after clicks his tongue in dissatisfaction. “We need one more. Hey, Jungkook, come here!”

You quickly snap your head towards your so-called best friend, who just came out from the kitchen from your previous unpleasant encounter. Just a glance and you can see how messed up he looks right now. Jungkook seriously was about to flip Jimin off, instead wallowing himself in sadness and regret. But seeing you sitting in the circle, he gets no other choice but to accept the offer. All that he can think about is the annoying frat buddies of his who might force you to do the things you despise, along with your occasional social anxiety that might ruin everything for you. He will never forget himself if they happen without him there, when he had the opportunity to. He’ll do it, regardless of your current distaste for him.

“Okay! So we are going to play Never Have I Ever!” Jimin shouts, and your stomach dips in nerves. God, are you seriously going to do it? But then you feel a certain concerned stare is directed towards you, and your pride forces you to act nonchalant. You are not going to let Jungkook think he needs to babysit you again. The previous thing in the kitchen is humiliating enough, you don’t need another second. 

“It’s the usual. if you have done it before, drink a shot! Don’t worry, we have abundant alcohol supply and our dearest freshmen right here, kindly volunteer to refill the glasses.” You emphatically look amongst the fellow freshmen, standing outside the circle with bottles of alcohol in their hands. God, this reminds you why frat people are seriously the worst.

“I’ll start! Okay. Never have I ever sexted someone during class.”

A series of groans are heard in the circle, few people—some that you know are Taehyung, Hoseok, and even the smartest of the frat boys, Namjoon bottoms up their respective drinks. Seriously? They pay tuition to sext during class. What a disgrace.

And of course Jungkook’s glass is empty too. What did you expect?

Next is Hoseok. “Never have I ever faked an orgasm before!”

Well, that one is on you, but you are just glad to be able to finally drink. And damn is it good to finally have alcohol buzzing inside your system—it’s been way too long. After drinking his own, Seokjin offers to exchange your empty glass into a full one. You send a thankful smile his way.

“Never have I ever sent a nude to someone.”

Well, that's correct on your previous relationship with a dickhead in your high school. Wow, you feel the slight kick, but since your tolerance is quite high, your tongue still craves for more.

“Never have I had a threesome before.”

Your eyes curiously find Jungkook, as he bottoms up his third glass of the game, with only a few of the people there drink—Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and one of the unknown girls. Not that you did not expect it, but you find yourself mildly uncomfortable and somehow disappointed with the facts. He is Jungkook. You should have known it.

“Never have I ever roleplay mommy / daddy kink during sex.”

You detect Seokjin shyly drinking his glass, and you fake a gasp. The alcohol on your spine and the great atmosphere are a success in bringing up your mood. “Wow, I knew it! It’s all so clear, you must have daddy kink!” You let out a belly laugh as he softly pinches your waist, still abashed to the new found fact. What you miss is Jungkook shooting daggers both your ways and Taehyung on his side giving him a few comforting taps on the back.

“Never have I ever liked someone else when I was in a relationship!”

The question somehow kills every fun you have, as you silently recall your previous relationships. There was definitely something on your mind, but you quickly pushed them back. No. It did not make sense and still does, and it was something you chose to bury a long time ago. Pretending it never exists is way easier.

But when you straighten your back to regain your sense, your eyes instantly find Jungkook sipping on his alcohol whilst glaring at you, before throwing his back and bottoming it up. Not only that, even after he slams the glass back on the table he is still giving you the same intent stare. What does he want from you? If he is trying to mess with your mind it is not working—so you faked nonchalance, waiting for the next question, yet your mind is busy thinking about who might be on the receiving end of Jungkook’s feelings while he was in a relationship with his bitch of an ex.

The game goes on for another round, and boy was it a mess. As time goes by, the questions are getting out of hand, until a point you seriously think you need to see your therapist due to how traumatic the questions are. During the game you only drink five glasses, which is still not enough for you—and Seokjin, who apparently has a great alcohol resistance as well. The game ended when Hoseok and Taehyung were hugging each other with two bottles of vodka between them, noisily faking smooches sound to each other.

When Seokjin offers to walk away from the rainsacked table, one of the friends whom you recognize as Yoongi holds him back with a tactful smile. “Hey, Seokjin! I’m bored, Let’s play!”

“Yoongi, I think that’s enough play. I think me and Y/N are just going to talk.” Seokjin calmly refuses, when Jungkook comes to Yoongi's side, resting his arm on the smaller man with his face bright red, looking totally buzzed.

“Ugh, that’s so boring! Why don’t we just play a game!”

You snort when you can smell his breath reeking with booze. No wonders though, he only missed two shots during that godforsaken game. “Jungkook—”

“No! I want to play!” He childishly pouts again. Here goes Jungkook acting like a nine year old whenever he is drunk. You roll your eyes agitatedly. Can he grow up already? “I want to beat you and this boyfriend of yours. Let’s play beer pong!”

“That’s a great idea, Jungkook! I think for the prize the winner can ask the loser for anything.” Yoongi shows his gummy smiles forming a smirk. Seokjin was about to discard the offer when his friend cleverly ignited another fire. “What, you don’t think you can win? Or do you just don’t get the nerves to? Too scared to be beaten down in front of your girlfriend?”

Somehow the conversation is loud enough that it attracts people, and now everyone is wooing the provocative statement from Yoongi. He has been silent throughout the previous game, and you don’t even know why he is so keen about playing beer pong with you and Seokjin. Can’t he just ask someone else instead? But you are assured, since one thing you learned from athletes like Seokjin, he is not easily provoked by such cheap statements. 

“You are on.” He grimaces as you gape, not expecting the sudden plottwist. How can he just approve? Damn him, you seriously do not want anything to do with these frat boys! “But I swear to god if you lose, I am going to force you to kiss this manchild for fucking five minutes in front of everybody.”

“Well that’s not really a punishment if I will enjoy it, but go on.” Jungkook drunkenly shouts, Yoongi palpably shudders beside him. The crowd laughter goes wild, as other freshmen—you seriously really feel bad for them now—sets up the red solo cups on the table. Your head spins in confusion, as you literally have not once played beer pong before. It’s a lost cause, and you are going to be punished by those evil spawns!

“Seokjin, I seriously can’t play for shit!” You hisses in worry while Seokjin smiles as an assurance.

“No worry, Y/N. I am a reigning champion of beer pong is this godforsaken frat. We will surely win.” He holds you by the shoulder. You send a judging gaze to Jungkook as he pretends to look nonchalant, confidently rubbing his palm together. Damn, you really want to smack him in that idiotic drunk ass face of his. What a jerk! You just hope Jin is truly as good as he claims, because if not, you are completely, utterly fucked. And not even a good one.

The first thing you did wrong was to believe Seokjin is just as good as his words, because Yoongi—who you just knew is the captain of the basketball team—completely triumphs him through every shot. And you already in peace with the fact that your aiming skill is the worst thing that could happen to you, so there goes scoring zero. That bastard Jungkook, somehow amidst the drunkenness is able to score a lot as well—probably due to the fact that he also plays football. Now that you think about it, the game itself does not make sense. And not only that you lose, the glasses you shove down your throat are quite a lot, to the point you can finally feel the buzz of alcohol in your spine. Just fucking perfect!

“Yes! We win!” Jungkook gleefully shouts, seeing the last red cup in front of your table has the shiny yellow ball in it. Seokjin sighs in defeat, quickly taking the last glass and drinking it, completely forfeited. You groan, rubbing your aching temple. This is gonna be rough.

“Wow! Do we finally have the winner here?!” Yoongi shouts with mirth, as the crowd woo. “Well, I don’t want to hold you back, let’s cut to the chase, shall we? I am just giving you a taste of your medicine. You can now make out with the bride.” Everyone snickers, and you are too shy to even look at Seokjin. “But we don’t want porn here, so just three minutes?”

“Are you okay with this? I can make him stop.” Seokjin asks calmly, as Yoongi snickers about his friend’s cringey thoughtfulness. Well now that everyone’s looking at you, you ain’t really got any choice, right? So you hesitantly nod as a permission, before Seokjin encloses his lips on you, and all you can sense is the deafening shouts of the crowd.

And Jungkook’s deflated back while exiting the room.

*

Two hours after the last disastrous beer pong and a three-minutes exhibitionist makeout session with Seokjin, you are shocked to still find yourself sitting at the frat party. Seokjin has asked you multiple times if you want to head home, but you refuse, feeding him lies about somehow still enjoying the party. Truthfully, you don’t even know what he is holding you back. You stopped drinking after the game, instead drinking lots of water to avoid a bad hangover in the morning. The party is dull, especially when you are no longer drinking and alone—Seokjin is asked by a few fellow final year friends to join them for a drink outside, so you assure him you’ll be okay staying back. All you do now is keep an eye on your so-called best friend, shoving alcohol down his throat like there’s no tomorrow. There were few girls around him, but the way Jungkook was not having it and instead focusing on the drinks—his nonchalance probably bore them so they fled, locking on other frat boys as targets. It is only Taehyung now with him, who looks just as drunk as he is. Literal dumbasses.

Amongst the loud bass thumping inside the room, your phone vibrates. You quickly excuse yourself from a couple who is now making out beside you—god, you seriously thought the girl was interested in talking to you before, but now she just ignores you while shoving her tongue down the boy’s throat!—and walks out to pick up the call. Against your expectation, it is Jungkook’s brother, Junghyun on the other side of the call..

“Y/N! Y/N, I am so glad you pick up!” Junghyun shouts loudly, sounds greatly relieved after listening to your greetings. You chuckle, realize it has been quite a long time since you heard from him. You desperately need to visit him sometimes, instead of constantly hanging out with his idiot younger brother.

“Hey, do you know where Jungkook is? We actually have to fly to Busan tomorrow morning, so we expect him to be home now. He even brought the car with him!” Junghyun shouts filled with stress, then you scrunch your eyebrow in confusion. He will fly tomorrow morning, so why did he even bother to come to the party? You scoff in disbelief.

“Yes, oppa. I am in the same party with him, but he is not looking real good.” You answer, looking inside the frat house. Well, not that his brother is unaware of Jungkook’s current trait of drinking and partying—not that he supports it—but you just think that he would be more responsible in his choices, and the your disappointment at him is vivid as a day. Making his family worried, all because he just wants to party which he nearly does every week? It’s shallow even for him. “But I’ll get him home now, no worries.”

Junghyung release a relieved sigh. “You’re a lifesaver, thank you!”

After a shot goodbye, you close the call and furiously march inside the frat house, right to Jungkook’s side. He is still drinking, but now looking severely drunk while unreasonably laughing with Taehyung, and now Jimin as an addition. Three drunk guys are never a good combination. “Jungkook, you fucking idiot, let’s go home!” 

With that Taehyung whistle loudly, tapping Jungkook on the back fervently, pepping him. “It’s Y/N! God, finally she is asking you to get something-something!” You scrunch your eyebrows at the drunk ass guy with a reddened face. You are earnestly curious for what booze he is having so you can avoid drinking it forever.

“You want to go home? Let’s go home, babygirl.” Jungkook lowly whispers whilst standing up, but before you can even react to such provocative words, he limps—probably dizzy from consuming too much alcohol. You circle his arms on your shoulder, helping him cause you are certain he is unable to walk on his own now.

Limping to the outside of the house at the best speed you can do, you find his car is parked a few meters from where you both stand. You grumble, swearing that you would keep a tab in every kindness you give to this unthankful moron. 

“Hmm, you smell nice.” Jungkook whispers, the tip of his nose settles on the crook of your neck, brushing it to your skin repetitiously as he hums in delight. All of a sudden you feel like it is hard to breath, your nape hair standing from such impulse. Damn, how can he take so much reaction out of you? It’s totally unfair! “I love your smell, babygirl. I wish I could smell you everyday.”

“Jungkook, I smell like booze, smoke and sweat. And what the fuck is wrong with you!” You hiss, trying to calm your irregular heartbeat. And you can always trust Jungkook to somehow flirt with you in the middle of his drunken antics. “I need to get you home, Jungkook. Don’t make me throw you on the street, okay?”

Listening to your cold answer, Jungkook pouts, his arms fold on his chest. The luring persona he had is now replaced to the childish one, and you can’t believe you have to deal with it now. “You are being a meanie to Jungkook! You have to apologize!”

Boy did he mean it, because he is now refusing to enter the car until you apologize. You sigh in distress — but some part of you do enjoy the cute banter with your drunk best friend. You are definitely going to tease him about this after he is sober.  “Okay! I apologize, Jungkook. I won’t throw you away, and I will get you home safely. Satisfied?” He nods with a foolish smile.

Then you realize that you don’t know where he places his car keys at, so you ignore the warning in your head and search his pockets, trying to disregard that he is wearing tight-ass pants that force you to feel him up somehow. God, you can’t even shake the embarrassment creeping to your cheek. Where the hell is that key?!

“Y/N, do you seriously want to do it here? I want out first time to be in bed, please.” Jungkook politely says, like he did not just imply about sleeping with you — instead asking for a candy. You whimper, greatly embarrassed even if you know it’s only a drunken act. He does not mean it in any way possible, so the flutters inside your heart should stop! You curse yourself, despising how his words are now affecting your wellbeing.

After finding the key in his left back pocket, you open the door to him and he kindly obeys, but you take the chance and purposefully hit him in the head with the door. Serves him right! As Jungkook winces while bearing the physical pain, you gladly saunter to the driver's side, turning on the car and heading it to Jungkook’s address—which you already remember like your own, located not really far from university.

Few minutes pass in silence, so you think Jungkook already fell asleep, when a sudden question is heard and throws you away to shock.

“Do you like kissing Seokjin?”

“What the fuck—” You look at him, thinking he is joking but you find him staring back at you, eyes dead serious while his face is painted with no trace of mirth whatsoever. It sends you jitter and nerves all over your body. “Jungkook, I don’t understand why you are asking that.”

“I just want to know if he is a good kisser or not.”

“He doesn’t need to be a good kisser to make me like kissing him.”

You heard Jungkook’s breath hitched like it’s so hard to believe. “So you like kissing him?”

“That’s beside the point, Jungkook. I am just stating a fact cause your logic is flawed.”

You most definitely underestimated the level of distressfulness in his question when Jungkook literally growls, not liking the mind games you are playing on him. “I’m serious. Do. you. like. kissing. him. or not!”

“I don’t know why you are asking that, since it’s literally you who asks for the fucking beer pong game. Not to mention, it’s you who wants me to bone this guy, Jungkook.” You whisper, reminding him of the day he offers you to come to Hoseok’s birthday party. “That question is weird, I am not answering that.”

“I regret that day, everyday…” You hear him mutter silently while looking outside the window. You quickly warn yourself to avoid overthinking it. It’s unhealthy, and you’ve been here before! Better to turn off your feelings before everything gets messy on your side.

“Why do you even have to be bad at beer pong?! It’s just shooting fucking ball to a cup. How bad can you be to not even score a point?!” Jungkook childishly huffs, and you take a few deep breaths to stop yourself from landing a punch to his devilishly handsome drunk face. What you are going to do is ignore him, like an adult you truly are.

But the silence is too much and you just want to talk to him, hence opening up a new topic. “Jungkook, you know you have to leave for Busan tomorrow. You shouldn’t be partying the day before. Have you even packed?”

Jungkook looks at you and sighs, like he is mentally and physically drained—well, as he should from drinking that much. “How can I, when there’s a chance you are going to the party as well.”

You raise your eyebrow, unsure. “What are you saying?”

Jungkook scoffs in disbelief when grasping how clueless you actually are. “I don’t know what fucking Seokjin has asks you to believe, but I am still your best friend, Y/N.  Since we were kids. I know you like the back of my hand, I know how you hate parties, how you dislike being around strangers, and I know how dangerous it is to be with these frat boys.”

He pauses. “And frankly, I just can’t trust Seokjin. Even with ten years of friendship, I’m still finding new, wonderful things about you and you expect me to trust a fucker who only knows you for a month? Seriously. I only trust myself to be capable of taking care of you.”

The sincerity in his words and gaze, how determined he is with his words seriously blinded your sanity—this part of you trying to assure that what he says is strictly platonic. Your heart is beating so fast it is literally painful to even breath, all the butterflies in your stomach fly without a care in the world. Does he really mean it? Do you even want to know what he means by the words?

The rest of the way passes in tense silence, both of you busy in each of your thoughts, and the car already approaches the street of his house. You sigh, putting on the break when you finally arrive in front of his house lane. “This is it, Jungkook. Go home, get some sleep. Don’t forget to eat some aspirin, and please wake up in time for your flight.”

Jungkook somberly nods, clicking his seatbelt off. You were about to say something, anything about addressing the elephant inside the car—to confirm whether he meant his words, whether he is indeed jealous of the punishment kiss with Seokjin. But then he beats you to it.

“Can I ask you one thing? And please promise me you will answer this.” He stares at you, and you hesitatingly hum as an answer, the tension is hard to miss.

“Answer me truthfully. Do you like kissing him? Seokjin, I mean.”

You sigh, not believing how still hung up Jungkook is on the matter. “Jungkook—”

“I know you like this guy so much, Y/N. I don't even want to ask that. I just want to know if you like the kiss. I wish this guy sucks in kissing, at least let me live with that.”

You look up to him, cheeks turning vermillion as he braves himself to look into your eyes. Your heart swells in pride, thinking how important it is to confirm that to you. God, has he really been this cute before?

“It was okay.” 

Listening to your answer, Jungkook smiles widens from ear to ear, like he is completely over the moon with okay as an answer. “Just okay? Not mind blowing whatsoever?” 

“It was okay.” You repeat, not confirming nor denying his latter question, but Jungkook still looks pleased with just the same answer. The manchild then hums, throwing both his arms around you, enveloping you into a hug so close like he never wants to let go. After a good minute he finally lets go, still with a million-dollar smile on his face and... rests his forehead on yours, closing his eyes as he breathes your scent in. This time, you are definitely sure you are going to schedule a slot with a cardiologist because there must be something wrong with your heart for beating that fast. There must be. And then his eyes flutter open, showing a strained gaze filled with anonymous emotion. 

“Are you going to be mad if I were to kiss you now?”

At Jungkook’s hushed questions, the temptation to taste his lips and comply with his request has you blinded, so you let go of your sanity and approve with a shy nod. The realistic side of you is quickly shut down as you don’t want to argue with it now. All you are thinking and craving about is to kiss him, or else you are going to die.

As his lips advances, the kiss finally happens. You can vividly feel the fireworks light up inside your chest—a strange yet wonderful feeling, the first time you ever feel this away while kissing someone. Jungkook’s lips are soft, touching you slowly like he is testing the waters. After he feels your careful reply, he sends more pressure, slowly but sure savoring your lips like he is taking his dearest time with you. Boy did he taste amazing—like a good whiskey, even if it’s probably all on him. The kiss feels amazing, yet you find yourself getting impatient with how it progresses, since all you can think is to feel him close. God, you must have lost your mind.

“Patience, pumpkin.” He teases, and you can feel a sleazy smile formed on his lips. You snort in annoyance, but he unexpectedly uses it to his advantage, stealthily shoving down his tongue inside your mouth cave. You gasp when the taste of alcohol kicks in, but is content nevertheless. You can’t even describe how good it is to have him close, your fingers entangled in his beautiful oak brown silk hair, his hands tightly encircled on your waist. How did you even think about spending a lifetime without kissing him?

“God, can I have you now? But I hate doing it in the car—I want our first time to be special.” 

Somehow, his desperate words instantly sobers your lust-clouded head, viciously taking you back to reality. So he really thinks of you that easily. And like you are saved by the bell, his brother appears from inside the house, probably realizing that the car has arrived but yet to show his brother—for a bit way too long. You curtly shove him away, heading outside the car before slamming the door vigorously. Of course. Of fucking course that is going to happen! What do you expect? He kisses you once and is finally ready to take your hand in marriage? You should’ve known better than to fall for the same tricks he played on those dumb girls. He even does it while drunk, for god sake. You should’ve known better!

With heavy self-disappointment you quickly open your phone, opening an app to order your ride home. All you want to do is now wail in sadness, and promise yourself to never let that happen again. You are too focused on your plan to flee, so when you feel Jungkook’s touch against your skin, you instinctively flinch. You can see how pained he is to see your reaction closing him off, yet you keep your mouth shut, not wanting to say even a word to him. The more you think about what just happened, the stronger the ache you feel, so you decided to just stop trying. You desperately need some time alone.

“Y/N! You are here. Thank you so much from bringing Jungkook home. This kid never learns, I swear.” Junghyun smiles, nonchalant to the tense air between you and Jungkook. You put up a fake smile of reassurance to the older guy, shrugging his worry.

“Are you going home? I can drive you, just let me take this guy in first.” Junghyun kindly offers, but you quickly recide. How can you do that when just in a few hours they are going to fly to Busan? They are seriously too kind.

“I ordered my taxi, it will arrive soon, oppa. No worries!” You brightly smile, not minding the obvious stares of Jungkook on your skin. You thank your lucky stars after the white taxi of your choice gladfully is near enough, and the blinding light of the taxi car lamp finally allows you to breathe. “It’s here!”

“Hyung, please take the details of the taxi, will you?” 

While entering the taxi you hear Jungkook’s subtle request to his brother, yet you pretend to be clueless, since it is better this way. You can’t. You shouldn’t. You don’t want to mess with the things you have now. You are so conflicted you don’t even know what to do with yourself.

“Text me when you get home.” Jungkook rigidly murmurs and you nod with the same manner. The taxi finally moves, and after a few seconds of total silence, you find the tears you have been holding for a while finally free, raining down on your cheeks.

*

Finally ending the fateful night, you arrive in your apartment and cry yourself to sleep. You feel betrayed, you feel dirty, you feel played and used. You do not know what has gotten into you to seriously think you are special to Jungkook, but that’s definitely not the case since he just caught up in the moment and just needed you to wet his dick. After that, you are going to ruin a ten year old friendship just because you can’t keep your feelings in hand like he can’t keep his dick inside his pants. You should’ve seen it coming—but now the damage is done, there is no use of regretting the things you can’t change. Yet ever since that day you can’t even sleep, eat, study, or basically do anything without thinking about him.

Especially since in the morning he left for Busan, he informed you through a message that he will be there for a week, and after that he needs to talk to you. You haven’t even replied, leaving him only on read even if that’s basically what you are thinking about night and day. What is he going to say? Is he going to reject you? Is he going to say how disgusted he is for that night? Is he going to tell you should not be friends anymore? There are countless scenarios playing in your head, and not even one is as what you wish it would be. Just an endless count of rejection and humiliation.

So the night before he is coming back, you are seated coated in your blanket in your apartment, right in front of your TV even though you don’t even know what show is playing. You are just zoning out, racking your brains for reasons that you need to say to Jungkook to avoid meeting him tomorrow. Do you just pretend you are sick? Or can you bail on him? But thinking about Jungkook, waiting alone in a cafe makes you sad and guilty, so you immediately cancel that last option. God, what are you going to do?

Too invested in your thoughts, you do not notice Lia is just in front of you. You finally acknowledge her presence when after she is now waving a plastic of delicious smelling food in front of your face. “Hey, earth to Y/N!” She calls you again, the agitation builds up for the past week of being ignored by her own roommate.

“Honey, seeing you like this makes me sad.” She sighs, resting the plastic on the desk. “I brought offering food, and with this I hope you can finally tell me what’s wrong.”

You sigh, realizing how annoyed she must be seeing you like this. You have been closed off on her as well, keeping the event from a week ago only for yourself. It just doesn’t feel right talking about it with someone Jungkook admitted he likes… Which suddenly pops an idea inside your brilliant head. God! How can you not think of it before?!

You widely let out an ear-to-ear smile which frankly scares Lia due to the drastic change of mood. But you couldn't care less. You need to do this, to save the remaining pieces of your friendship with Jungkook and give him a helpful hand as well.

“Lia, honey, can you please help me with something?”

*

Jungkook arrives at Gimpo International Airport at 5.40pm, along with his parents and brother. After going back for the wedding of his relatives, every new day he can’t wait to finally be back in Seoul. He is worried as hell about you, since he is aware that he did make a mistake that night—he scares you with his overwhelming feelings, but he promises himself to make things right. He would be crazy to let you go that easily. Jungkook definitely felt something from you that night—there is a glimpse of hope that you somehow like him too, and now he is helplessly hanging on to that rope.

After telling you he needed to see you after he got back, you left him on read for a few days and he had to confess that he was so moody and off during those days, constantly pissing everyone around him. But how can he not? He thought he lost his chance. What if Seokjin took those days to convince you how much better of a man he is than him? What if you had enough of him and dump his ass? Or worse, what if you think you can no longer even be friends? Those thoughts constantly bothered him, but when you message time and place to meet him, he feels comforted. He trusted you—you are much better of a person than what his pessimistic mind forced him to believe.

So when his flight arrives, he directly goes to take the train instead of going with his family’s car, heading to the restaurant you informed. As you informed him about the dinner—7pm reservation, he carefully calculated his ETA. Jungkook is a bit confused due to your choice of place—you don’t really fancy Mexican food, but he pays no heed as what he can only focus is what he is about to say and the gift he thought thoroughly and carefully before, secured on his backpack. Jungkook silently smiles. He is going to make this right.

Exactly an hour arrival, he is now in the area of the restaurant. He quickly hitch a taxi, asking the driver to drive as fast as he can since his plan was to arrive first before you. The hope grows dimmer as seconds pass, especially when his taxi is caught in the middle of a traffic jam. Jungkook groans, there is no hesitation that he will be late. He quickly send you an apology by text, in which you do not even read—adding more anxiety to his already existing one.

After a few minutes which passes like a thousand years, he finally arrives in the said restaurant. He slaps a few bills at the driver, not even waiting for a change as he runs inside, nervously tapping his foot after mentioning your name as a reservation. His heart is beating fast, his palms turn clammy, and he feels jittery all over his body. God, the feeling has already been too long to even remember. But he can’t deny that it indeed feels nice. It feels amazing to care and have real emotions this deeply about someone.

Instead of finding the face he has been thinking of night and days, he finds a completely different woman, sitting nervously on the table. He is too overwhelmed to even speak.

“You—What are you doing here?!”

Jungkook can’t even believe his eyes. It’s Lia, your best friend, sitting on the table right now. All at once, his head spins followed by a sudden nausea bubbling up his throat from the great shock. He has been expecting you—to see your face again waiting for him with a smile, to tell you how much you mean to him, to finally confess and give him a gift he carefully picks out for you—but instead you set him up for dinner with your best friend, without letting either of them know. He feels rejected, a wave of sadness crashing at him that he can only weakly sit down, his legs nearly giving him up. He is now mourning on so-selfless yet so idiotic action you do him.

“God, Y/N asked me for dinner together, and he actually set me up with you? What the fuck?!” Lia flares angrily, taking her phone and fervently dialing up your number. Seeing how ugly it can get, Jungkook takes the phone away, closing the call. “What are you doing?!” She hisses.

“I.. I accidentally lied to her that I like you instead of her when she caught us meeting that morning.” Jungkook whispers, his throat too dry for catching up in the sadness. “And now she is setting us up together.”

“God, it all makes sense now! She actually asked me how I feel about you, and knowing you like her, I put good words. Could it be that she thinks I like you too?” She gasps, but Jungkook is already too numb in the feeling. “God, she is such a moron sometimes!”

“That’s okay. It’s just clear now. I know she does not have any feelings for me, and she might be too afraid to say so. She is probably already with Seokjin now.” Jungkook bitterly whispers, trying to uphold his voice yet it still wound him so fucking bad. Of course that is it. Seokjin is a whole perfect package for a man, not a child with zero emotional capacity like him. He must be drunk to even think about competing with that man.

“No, that's not it..” Lia shakes her head fervently at Jungkook’s helpless posture. “I believe she broke up whatever relationship she had with Seokjin. Don’t tell her you know this from me, but they kinda did it in our apartment hallways a few days ago and I accidentally—well not really accidental but that’s not the point—heard! I thought she was extremely quiet and sad because of that!”

He is confused, he really is, but now he knows the fact, there must be something he has not known yet. “Are you sure?” Jungkook rises up to his seat, strangely motivated. Not that he wants to take advantage of your odd break up with Seokjin for his personal advantage, he just wants to be there for you — like what best friends would do.

“Are you okay if I leave you now?” Jungkook kindly asks, and Lia shoo him away boredly, eyes already skimming on the menu.

“Don’t need no boys helping me eat, but you owe me a lot after this, bro. You get it?” With a nod of confirmation and a short smile, Jungkook quickly heads to the place he knew he would find you.

*

You don’t even know what you are doing, seated in the usual coffee shop you always visit with Jungkook. You have been sitting in the cafe for nearly two hours, munching on the countless foods you order from the menu, yet you can’t hold back the obnoxious, ugly feeling in your chest — especially when the barista is asking where Jungkook is when you ordered your usual. It’s literally on you—you were the one setting up both your best friends who greatly deserve and like each other together, so why is it so painful to face the possibility that they are having a nice date in her favorite Mexican restaurant right now?

Great. Now you are crying. God, you must look hideous, no make up, alone with plates of food in front of you. You can’t even imagine what people must be thinking about you right now, since even you are disgusted with yourself.

“I better go home.” You sigh, ready to pick the bill when a soft bell tingling is heard and you do not know whether you can believe your eyes or not, but it signals Jungkook’s entrance. He is wearing a dark blue sweater you bought him for his birthday a year ago, walking pensively to your table. Just looking at him immediately quickens your heartbeat, too loud you can distinctly hear it rings in your ear. What is happening? Why is he here, not more than an hour in the date? That look—Is he mad at you?

“Y/N, before I am going to be angry at you for setting me up with your best friend, I want to hit pause. Okay?” He calmly speaks, resting his bag on the floor. You look at him with teary eyes, still shocked for only his presence so you hesitantly nod. 

“Are you okay? After Seokjin, I mean. I heard about it.” Jungkook whispers, trying for a slow approach to the said matter. You don’t even know how he knows, yet you don’t really care.  “I’m sorry.”

You finally gather your courage to let out your voice, eyes still training on your lap. “Don’t be. It’s hard, but I’m okay. We just realize it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Do you want a hug?” Jungkook good-naturedly offers like it's the most usual thing to do inside a coffeeshop, and you can’t hold the chuckle which he follows. “We always hug it out whenever we are sad. I don’t know about you, but it always works for me. Your hugs are the best.”

You know he probably does not imply anything, so you nod, because you are desperately in need of your best friend’s hug right now. When everything is hard, it feels nice to have someone who completely understands and is willing to listen, instead of telling you what you need to do. That’s the kind of friendship you have with him, and you are thankful neither of you has given up on each other even with the constant fights.

After a good ten minutes just having each other close in a hug—his arms secured around your shoulder while you lean your head on his annoyingly sturdy chest—you let your best friend go. “God, we must be looking like two moron right now.” You whisper, noticing a few glances are thrown at your table and Jungkook snickers, agreeing with your comment. You snort. “More like because you look like a fucking idol and I look a hobo. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Hey, I just arrived from Busan and I directly come here without even changing.” He pouts and you chuckle, feeling the butterflies vividly knocking on your stomach. He helps you asking for the bill, and when it arrives, he directly gives the waiter his card and you angrily shove him away.

“Jungkook, if you pay for the food you don’t even touch, I swear to god—”

“But it's my turn to pay!” He protests and you roll your eyes.

“It’s not, because you did not even eat a thing.”

He quickly munch on the leftover fries, giving the waiter his card and pushing the confused man away before you can snatch the card back. You hiss, seriously feeling guilty for letting him pay for the whole thing. “God, I am starving! Can I eat this?” He asks, munching on your half eaten pasta without waiting for you. You just stare at him, happily eating your food and you can’t hold down the smile.

“Can I have this coffee too?” He politely asks, pointing at your black coffee and you sigh. 

“Jungkook, once again I tell you, you do not like black coffee. I’ll just order you anything.” You are about to call the waiter again when he holds you back.

“I like everything you like, Y/N. I think this goddamn coffee has grown on me.”

But he is completely bullshitting you—and probably himself because as his lips touch the glass to take a sip, he instinctively grimaces at the strong, bitter taste. Gosh, an idiot and somehow you still call him your best friend.

“Jungkook, do you want me to order you a banana milkshake?” You kindly offer like the coffee thing did just not happen, and he answers with a 1000 watt smile that leaves you strangely speechless.

“My hero.”

After exactly another hour talking about the cousin’s wedding he attended a few days ago, both of you and him exit the coffeeshop. You can’t hide your blush when the barista is secretly teasing you with his goddamn eyebrow, not that Jungkook can notice. God, you wish he doesn’t notice.

“Can we walk to your apartment? Are you okay? it’s a little bit cold.” Jungkook worriedly asks, and you nod as an agreement. He smiles serenely at you, his hand runs to fix your messy hair—courtesy of the wind. His fingers delicately put a strand of lost hair to the back of your ear, and smile with all his bunny teeth on display after being satisfied with the result. God, you wish he would not notice how nervous you are right now.

During the short walk filled with comfortable silence, he reaches your hand, tightly intertwining it with his fingers. All the things he does are not special—you nearly do it every time in your so-called platonic friendship, but everything definitely has changed. But the fuzzy feeling quickly turns into nerves when you sense the inevitable talk is coming, as he points to one of the benches in front of your apartment building.

“I am angry at you.”

You look up to him, expecting anger on his face when you found none, instead a thin smile. “You set me up with your best friend. What were you thinking, Y/N?”

“You said you liked her. And I know you need a push to finally do something about it, that’s why I did it.” You guiltily try to defend yourself. Jungkook sighs, suddenly feeling remorse of what the conversation will turn into.

“But.. I don’t know whether we want to discuss this, but here goes—we kissed that night, Y/N. Does it even mean anything to you?” 

And now it is there. The hurt, the frustration, the anger shown on his beautiful doe eyes. You know it is coming — the inevitable confrontation about that night. But how can he even ask such question to you? Doesn’t he know it nearly keeps you awake every night?

“You were drunk, Jungkook. And horny... I was—we were just caught up in the moment.”

He scoffs in disbelief. “I don’t know about you, but I was not just caught up in the moment.” Jungkook curtly answers, taking a deep breath of courage. He hopes he doesn’t mess up everything and end up chasing you away yet again.

“Can’t you see it, Y/N? I like you. I like you so much for how it seems like a long time ago, but idiot me, somehow I just realize everything now.”

At his answer, your head feels like it is about to explode. But you are too scared, too realistic to even think about the possibility that he may truly mean every word. “You can’t lie to me like that, Jungkook! I am not the girl you can play with like your one night stands. I do not want to be just another number to you.”

“But you're not just another number to me!” He agitatedly hisses, letting his emotions open up on the table. “You think it doesn’t kill me? I think about it nearly everyday. I think about you and Seokjin. I think about you rejecting me. I think about you and our ten years friendship currently on the line. Do you think it has been just a walk in the park for me?”

He takes a deep breath. “I like you, Y/N. I like you so much it kills me for you to close me off that night we kissed. I thought everything was clear—my obvious feelings for you, but just now, you set me up with your best friend. How fucking great!”

The tears welling in your eyes are forcing to come out. “You don’t know how afraid I was, Jungkook. You can’t even imagine how it was for me! I like kissing you—I think I like it a little bit too much—but when you said you wanted to fuck in the car, I felt… I felt disgusted. You were drunk, and I felt like you were just using me for my body, like I’m just another dumb girls who you’ll fuck and never call back. I.. I don’t want to feel that way anymore.”

The statement you let out just brings a whole new guilt on his chest, and he moves to hold you close. “What were you thinking, Y/N. I would never do that to you…”

“How can I think of that? Are you shitting me right now? Jungkook, you slept with at least three girls a week, and you explicitly told me about fucking these girl nearly everyday before. So you expect me to comply and fuck you in that car, ruining our friendship because you only want to fuck me and wet your dick?!”

“Y/N, I swear it is not that. I like you too much, and I got so jealous of Seokjin—I am sorry that I make you feel that way. But I swear to god, at that time I just wanted to show you how much I like you, and I am sorry if it came out that way.”

You take a deep breath, but even doing it suffocates you. “I just need some time. That’s it. Can we… can we just pretend this never happens?” You sigh tiredly, and at your word, Jungkook feels hit with a ton of brick until he is completely numb. You want to disregard everything that happened?

“I am heading upstairs. You.. you can just head home now.” You whisper, and every word coming out hurts you back like it hurts him, but you need this. You need some time to think about everything. You don’t want to hurt yourself again—just seeing him now hurts so fucking bad already. Jungkook is not emotionally ready for you. He just caught up in the moment of drunkenness, and he doesn’t mean it. You should just stop thinking about it.

You are about to leave to cry your eyes to sleep, when you heard him call from behind.

“Here. I bought this for you. Don’t worry, Y/N.  I’ll leave.”

And you can hear the steps of his boots, walking far and far away until it disappears in the  silence. Now that he is not here, you find the wind is ten times colder, and the pain in your chest multiplies a thousand times. It’s only you now, alone with your thoughts. You brave yourself to turn back, seeing a box of chocolate resting on the bench, which then leaves you a crying mess.

It’s the exact chocolate he gave ten years ago to the girls, the one you ate when you saved him from the humiliation he faced. How could he even get this?

To : Y/N

Thank you for saving me again that day. And the day after. And the day after, until today. I owe you my life :)

With love, your vermillion faced favorite person in the world.

Jeon Jungkook.

*

Another week passes, and Jungkook wakes up with a groan inside of his room he shared with Taehyung. God was he trashed last night. His frat was having another party, and he may or may not steal a few bottles and decided to trash himself whilst playing Overwatch—he can’t even remember when or how. His back is killing him for falling asleep with bent back, his face plastered on the keyboard.

He tries to straighten up, but the dizziness from suddenly standing up washes him away that it takes some time to get used to. His lips are as dry as sahara, yet he found no bottle of water that may relieve the thirst—seriously, Jungkook? Stealing two bottles of vodka but forgot to bring up a bottle of water? God he is a moron sometimes.

He walks out of the room, descending to the downstairs with his head still banging painfully due to the bad hangover. He is about to head directly straight to the kitchen, but his steps are paused when he finds Seokjin currently having his breakfast on the table, with… you.

The first thought that comes to his mind is how different you look—you look pale and tired, the dark eyebags are getting prominent and it does look like you haven’t been sleeping well. The thoughts finally come closing when he realizes how awkward the air has become, you, Seokjin and himself on such close distance. Jungkook can’t bear the bitter thoughts of you, having your usual breakfast with Seokjin. God, he must be a bother—so he quickly enters the kitchen, intends to grab a drink and forces himself out of the picture.

“Jung—Jungkook, can we talk? Outside, I mean. I want to tell you something.”

He looks back, not expecting to find you standing up and walking to him to the kitchen. 

“We can. Do we need Seokjin to join as well?” He bitterly shoves the water inside his throat, not even minding how petty he must have sounded. 

“No. No need. I need to talk to you alone.” You beg, internally praying that Jungkook will not make it harder than it already is. All you want to do is say what you needed to say, then run away and bury yourself alive beside the nearest tree. 

Jungkook hums, and follows your hesitant step to the backyard of his frat house. But now that he is seeing you in such close distance, makes him realize that he terribly misses seeing you and talking to you. The week after the confession he let out, he decides to give you the space you deserve—no matter how desperate he is to just send you a message and ask how you’re doing. He can’t even deny that he went to your faculty a few times before, wanting to just see how you are doing even from afar. He knows how cringey and creepy that thought is, but he seriously can’t stand the idea of not having to see your face during those times. Checking up on you is like something he has been doing for ten years now, and he doesn’t intend to stop just because you need your own space.

Now you are standing with him, yet he thoughtfully motion so you can sit on the patio wall. The first touch he gave you since the last encounter, and it successfully turns you ten times nervous than you already are. Will you even be able to say what you need to say when he is right there, looking at you like that?

“Before you say anything, can I ask why are you having breakfast with Seokjin?” He starts, somehow unable to disregard the scene he just witnesses. He doesn’t know why, but he feels somehow sad and anxious that you are spending such an intimate breakfast with him. Sensing that Jungkook is indeed dead serious, and so are you, you decide not to beat around the bush and answer him with the truth.

“It’s nothing. I just wanted to see you and he was there, having his breakfast. He was just being polite.” 

“Jungkook, I want to say I am sorry.” You whisper directly and cut to the chase, intending to look him in the eyes but still failing to do so. All because you are nothing but a nervous pile of mess. “I.. I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t set you up with Lia just because of my insecurities. I thought I was doing you some good, but that was my fault to overstep it. And I shouldn’t have been angry at the thoughts that you were just playing with me—it’s only in my head and I accused you for it. It’s so unfair for you, I.. I want to apologize.”

Both of you fall into deep and tense silence, waiting for the other to speak up. But falling too uncomfortable with the silence, you decide to open your voice again. “Aren’t you going to say anything? Are you still angry at me?”

“Shouldn’t you apologize for one more thing?” Jungkook calmly asks, basking in your appearance once again like it’s never enough. God, are you even eating well? You hesitantly look up, confused with his words. What does he mean by that?

“The way you expect us to forget everything happened.” He winces soundly just by saying the word he refuses to acknowledge since the moment he heard it. Just thinking about the word you said a few nights back still brings fresh pain inside his chest. “That’s actually what hurts me the most. I don’t really care about the other.” You bit your lower lips. Is it just your hallucination or Jungkook seriously asking that?

Jungkook racks his brain, trying to articulate his thoughts yet failing to do so. Then he gives up, letting his heart do the talking instead. “I like you, Y/N. I don’t want to scare you—but I might even be in love with you. These past few years are so clear now. I like you, I always have feelings for you but it was so clouded with any friendly, somehow platonic feelings I thought I have and I don’t know—what happened with us just awakened me, making me realize  that I don’t want anyone else but me to be the one taking care of you.”

The newfound sincerity in his words astonishes you. Your breath hitches, with his words coming in and out of your mind, yet it still feels unsettled. Does he really mean it? 

“I guess I was just too busy with myself, with my own ways of hiding the pain I felt. But I realize, it was not any parties, or meaningless sex or any other things that makes me happy. I thought it was, but it’s not.” Jungkook takes your chin, pleading for you to look up to him. You are too overwhelmed by emotion, and you are thankful he asked you to sit because if you weren’t, your leg would give you away.

“It’s you. It’s always you.” He proclaims, as clear as the sky upon him. “It’s breakfast with you, talking with you everyday, seeing you be happy and be the one causing it. That’s what makes me happy.”

At such sentiment, the tears swimming in the corner of your eyes finally falls, streaming on the side of your cheek. He quickly pulls you close, his head entangles on your hair and your hands basked on his waist tightly, like you are holding it for dear life.  “Jungkook, I am scared. I don’t want to lose you... What if everything goes wrong and then I lost you forever?”

Jungkook kisses the top of your head. God, he is scared beyond words too. But he loves you too much, he believes in what you both have and is ready to take his chances. “We’ll make it through. I can’t promise you much, but I promise I’ll always look out for our best interests. You won’t lose me. I am your best friend before anything, Y/N.”

You nod, somehow assured by his words. You know it’s going to be hard to believe—even your past self would too, but you trust him with all your heart. Jungkook has been one constant thing in your life, and you trust him and are willing to put everything on the line because frankly, you love him, and he loves you. Maybe it’s time to finally be brave enough to face anything and take that risk. Only because it is him.

Another moment of holding each other close when Jungkook fucking opened his mouth and decided to ruin everything. “So.. Can I kiss you now?” He jokingly whispers and you snort, all sappy moments crumbling down to ashes. An amused chuckle somehow did escape your lips, and he pouts. “Hey, let me kiss you, you pretty girl. Seriously, I kissed you once, and god, that’s all I can think of this past week.”

You roll your eyes, heart beating rapidly fast in your chest. You are going to shrug his face away from you, but the moment you can clearly look up to him, you feel warm and giddy. His face is saying everything, shaded vermillion red while shyly looking down on you. A flashback comes inside your head, reminding you about the eleven year old kid with the same shade of vermillion on his face. He is still the same Jungkook you know—the Jungkook you love and wouldn’t trade for anything in the whole world.

His lips advance closer to yours yet you are the one to close the distance between. To have your lips finally touch against his chapped one, you can feel the same firework lights up, only ten times better now that you finally is truthful to your own feeling. God does it feel amazing to feel it to have him against your lips. Both of you are too content with even such innocent kisses, feeling the smile forming in each of your lips, inevitably bringing up a laughter.

“Fucking finally!”

At the loud roar, you quickly push Jungkook until he falls a few steps back, completely shocked beyond words to hear the shouts behind you—which belongs to Taehyung, somehow with Lia shutting him instantly on the mouth. There are few other frat brothers like Jimin and Namjoon as well, smiling meaningfully in front of the door. You shyly duck your head, god, how long have they been standing there? This is embarrassing!

“Are you going to hit them or should I?” You whisper, walking outside from the back door with Jungkook on your side, escaping the loud shouts and woo from the people standing there. Jungkook chuckles with mirth at your reddened abashed face. Is it a good time for him to say how adorable you are right now, with a burst of red coloring your cheek?

“No worries, I will.” He kisses your supple cheek. “But objectively speaking, I do think Lia has rights for that. She is the one helping me to get you since god-knows-when.” Jungkook smiles endearingly, holding you close around the shoulder when it’s finally just the two of you, brushing a kiss on the top of your head. You chuckle knowingly, and Jungkook stops to see you straight on the eye.

“Aren’t you going to ask me when, why or how? I mean about the chasing you thing with Lia.” He asks seriously, yet apparently can’t get his hands far from you as he reaches for your cheek, softly brushing it delicately with his fingers. You hum, somehow content with his touches. God, you sure like him so much it hurts.

“Baby—you’re cute. But actually it’s Lia who convinces me about you.” You chuckle, and Jungkook scrunch his eyebrows, yet still falling shy at the nickname that sounds entirely different now that you are the one saying it to him. “She told me everything. And that’s actually when I realize that I can trust you. With all my heart.”

Jungkook smiles, heart turning warm from your statement and still, the endearing nickname. “On the light note, you called me your baby. Ugh, can I kiss you again, pumpkin?” He cheekily asks, and your hearts light up at the familiar yet so strange nickname that now it feels different to have him as your lover.

You smirks, holding his palm against your cheek, taking in his disheveled, morning appearance once again. He looks extensively cute with his button nose and reddened cheeks, his disheveled morning hair still super inviting to have your fingers running through it. And it is unfair that somehow he looks his best now, better than anything you have seen him before. High chance it is because for you, the best thing for Jungkook to wear is his smile—especially when it’s because of you.

“Not if you have to ask again every time you don’t.”

He smirks and pulls you by the nape, muttering an answer against your smiling lips. He seriously wouldn’t mind doing this every second of the day.

“Deal.”

========

Finally! nearing 25k, wow this is a lot to write. But it was so much fun and i hope you like it! let me know and lets talk :) kindly check my masterlist !

UPDATE #1 : Drabble posted on masterlist! Do check lovelies! <3

UPDATE #2 : Find the Taehyung spinoff, “The Platinum Rules” click here!

#jungkook #jungkook au #jungkook fuckboy au #jungkook friends to lover #bts #bts au #bts jungkook #bts seokjin #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #bts fuckboy au #seokjin #friends to lovers #bts frat au #taecalikook #bts friends to lovers #jungkook fanfic

[tickly-trashcan]

Well Deserved {Keqing, Barbara, Xiangling, and Venti}

A/N: OKAY so @danibby totally threw me into brainrot with my team thanks to the lovely headcanons she made HERE and i needed to write something for them because,,, they’re my babies and i love them pls. hope yall like this one I had a lot of fun with it hehe

Summary: After the girls get sick of Venti messing with them, they decide to teach him a little lesson. 

Word Count: 1.5k (under the cut)

“And I said, ‘That’s what she said’! Hehe!” 

Keqing, Barbara, and Xiangling collectively groaned at Venti’s awful joke. The four of them had been traveling together, exploring Teyvat and working together. They all got along pretty well, if it weren’t for Venti’s incessantly playful and joking personality. Not a day went by that they weren’t met with a crude or dumb joke, and even though they all appreciated his musical ability, there was a time and place for it.

He also had gotten into the habit of blowing random gusts of wind at the girls, blowing their generally tied up hair in their faces. He minded not to do it in battle, but when it became a regular thing, it got really irritating. 

One day, they were all resting in the Guili Plains after finishing their commissions. Venti strummed his lyre quietly, Barbara singing along as Keqing and Xiangling listened intently. All was peaceful, they didn’t have a care in the world. That is, until Venti threw his legs into Keqing’s lap and sighed dramatically.

“I’m all out of creativity, oh well. Time for a nap~”

Keqing looked at Venti, a look of mock disgust on her face as she went to push his legs off, only for him to put them right back on. Keqing glared at Venti for real this time, and he only chuckled in amusement.

“Is it so wrong for me to want to rest, Keqing?”

“You’re an idiot,” Was all she said as she tried to push his legs off of her lap once more, Venti immediately putting them back in her lap.

“It’s my specialty~” He cooed. Keqing’s eye twitched in annoyance as Xiangling and Barbara looked at each other nervously from the side. They all knew what Keqing was like when she was mad, but Venti was the only one who ever dared push her to that limit.

“Venti, I think you should leave her alone-” Barbara started, but Xiangling stopped her, whispering in her ear.

“I wanna see where this goes,” She said, a small grin on her face. Barbara nodded, a bit nervously, and they continued to watch Venti egg on Keqing.

“Venti, if you don’t move your legs you’re gonna be seriously in for it,” Keqing said menacingly, and Venti only hummed, folding his legs over each other in Keqing’s lap and folding his hands behind his head.

“I’ll be in for it? In what way? Surely not in a dirty way, right Keqing?”

That was the last straw for Keqing. She glared at Venti darkly, making the bard’s expression change from confident to almost scared as she collected some electro energy in her hand, Venti’s eyes widening. 

She jabbed him in the stomach, and the electro energy scattered across Venti. She had expected him to scream in pain, despite her lowering the output so it wouldn’t hurt too much. She, along with Barbara and Xiangling, were surprised when, instead of a scream, Venti shrieked shrilly, followed by a quick stream of giggles.

He looked up at Keqing, his eyes wider than before as she looked at Venti in confusion. He chuckled nervously as Keqing poked him again, channeling a bit more electro in her finger as Venti shrieked again, swatting at her hand.

“Don’t!” He exclaimed, and Keqing looked at him with a small smirk on her face. Venti squeaked, realizing what Keqing was thinking, and went to scramble away only for Keqing to grab his ankles, holding him in place.

“Venti,” She started, her tone slightly playful as Barbara and Xiangling scooted closer to the two, Venti looking at the girls fearfully. “You wouldn’t happen to be ticklish, would you?”

Venti gulped, shaking his head frantically. “No! I’m not, really! I’m not- hehehe!”

Venti giggled suddenly when Xiangling squeezed his side, and Venti immediately swatted at the pyro user. She grinned widely, looking over at Keqing, who continued to smirk at the shorter boy. 

“Xiangling, would you mind taking care of his legs?” Keqing asked, and Venti immediately shrieked and tried to run away when Keqing let go of his legs for Xiangling to grab as she dove at him, Venti letting out a short cry as she grabbed his arms, pinning them above his head with her shin. 

“No!” He shrieked, but the girls didn’t listen. Xiangling sat on Venti’s shins, and Barbara looked at the two girls, looking a bit confused as she held her hands up.

“W-Wait, what are we doing?”

“Hmm… I guess we could call it revenge for Venti constantly messing with us. Give him a taste of his own medicine, right?” Keqing said, and Xiangling nodded.

“Think about all the times he wouldn’t stop singing when we were trying to sleep. And when he slipped a bunch of dirt into my super special slime dish I was making!” Xiangling said, and Barbara hummed in contemplation, one hand on her chin.

“B-Barbara! You know I was just kidding around, right?!” Venti whined, already giggling when Keqing wiggled her fingers at him. Barbara pouted.

“You might’ve been kidding around, but it was really annoying when we asked you to stop and you kept going! I agree, I think he deserves at least a little bit,” She said, folding her arms across her chest. Venti looked at her, utterly defeated as his last hope of getting out of this vanished. 

He looked up at Keqing, who smirked at him, making him squeak. Xiangling was already wiggling her fingers as Barbara scooted a bit closer to Venti, poking his tummy a few times, making him giggle and squirm. 

“Dohon’t!” He whined, and the girls only chuckled.

“Don’t worry, Venti, we’ll stop once we think you’ve had enough,” Keqing said sweetly, albeit threateningly. Venti squawked suddenly when Barbara’s hands were at his sides, squeezing softly as he squirmed already, giggling into his arm as he whined.

“B-Bahaharbara! Ehehe, wahahait! UWah, Keheheqing!” Venti’s laughter rose in pitch and volume when Keqing lightly scratched at his underarms with her nails, raking from the hollows up his arms slowly as he giggled hysterically, throwing his head from side to side as he squirmed frantically.

“KEheheqing! Nonono, not thahahat!” He wailed, throwing his head back as Barbara started pinching at Venti’s hips, making him rock back and forth trying to shake away from her. He shrieked again when Xiangling finally joined the party, squeezing above Venti’s knees as his laughter got even higher in pitch and volume.

“XIAHAHAhangling! Not thehehehere, anywhere but thehehehere! PlehEHEHEase!” Venti screeched, his face already pink from the sheer amount he was laughing and from the embarrassment of the situation. 

“What’s wrong Venti? Can’t take it?” Keqing teased, scratching her fingers in the hollows of his underarms as Venti arched his back, trying to squirm away. Keqing had a serious grip on Venti’s hands, he couldn’t do anything but scream and laugh as the girls ganged up on him. 

“This is for the time you put snow down my shirt on Dragonspine!” Xiangling chanted, scribbling under Venti’s knees as he tried to kick, screeching in mirth as Xiangling laughed at him. “Deserved~!”

Venti snorted, making the girls laugh. 

“You snort? I thought only Xiangling did that!” Keqing laughed.

“Hey!”

Keqing only shrugged as they all continued to draw screeching laughter and snorts from Venti, whose face was bright red as tears of mirth started to form in his eyes. Barbara scribbled her nails across Venti’s tummy, making the poor boy shriek and squirm, unable to escape her fingers. Keqing started to claw at Venti’s ribs, Venti throwing his head back and screeching as Xiangling started slowly expanding her fingers on top of Venti’s knee. 

Venti was in complete hysterics, he was at the point where he couldn’t even formulate words because of the sheer ticklish agony he was in. Barbara seemed to pick up on his, noticing when his laughter started to go a bit quiet save for a few snorts and gasps.

“Do you think he’s had enough?”

Keqing looked up from his ribs at his face, noticing how red it was. She hummed.

“Are you gonna keep messing with us?”

“NOHOhohohO!”

Keqing hummed and got off of Venti’s arms, ceasing her tickling. Barbara pulled away as well, leaving Xiangling attacking his knees. She stopped after a few moments, Venti immediately curling up as she got off his knees, Venti still giggling softly and mumbling.

“All of you… evil,” Venti said, quickly squeaking when Keqing’s hands were on his ribs again, Venti rolling away as he giggled.

The girls laughed, watching the archer of their team slowly recover from the tickle attack he had just suffered from. Finally he sat up, letting out a long sigh as he glared at the girls. He opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly interrupted by Keqing.

“Don’t even say it, you deserved that and you know it.”

Venti pouted and turned away from the girls, crossing his arms in mock frustration as they laughed. He knew he deserved it, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit it, so he continued to pout as the girls talked with each other eagerly, Venti sulking in the corner before eventually joining back in, strumming his lyre and starting yet another song about their adventures.

#keqing #barbara #xiangling #venti #genshin impact #tickle fic

[shimmeringclouds]

♔ | 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈

»»-----　♔　-----««

The taxi came to a slow and steady halt, the rumble of its engine dying down as the keys were removed.

"Here we go.." Ozo muttered to himself, removing his seatbelt. He quickly left the car, leaving you to start opening your own door until he opened it himself, extending a hand down to you with a grin.

"Allow me," his chivalrous act didn't fail to make you smile again. You slipped your hand into his, realising just how small yours were compared to his larger palms. He wrapped his fingers around yours firmly, tugging you up and out of your seat. You stumbled slightly as you stood, but Ozo was quick to wrap his other arm around your waist, pulling you against his broad chest so you wouldn't fall. Your eyes met, wide and flustered. There was a tense silence between you both for a split second before you nervously laughed, being the first to pull away.

"Uhm.. thank you.." you looked down at your shoes.

"It's nothing.." he rubbed the back of his neck, turning away and heading towards a nearby building. "The cafe's just over here."

You nodded silently, following along behind him, hands latching onto the strap of your bag. You walked up to an average sized building, the front of which was simply lined with small bushes and a set of chairs and tables for outside seating. Above the opened doorway was a wooden sign, white letters written across it spelling:

'Cafe New York'

"Has your brother been to New York before?" You asked as you walked through the door behind Ozo.

"Nope," he grinned. "The cafe's just named after Iriabi. It's a play on words." He looked back at your confused face before laughing. "Hey, you're a smart girl! You'll figure it out, easy!"

"You have too much confidence in me.." you shook your head with a smile. Stepping into the cafe, you were hit instantly with the smell of sweet coffee and sugared pastries. Your eyes were immediately drawn to the vast display case by the till, lined with cakes, cookies and other delicious delights that made your mouth water.

Ozo walked over to the front, leaning against it as he peered about the empty cafe.

"Oi! Takashi! Where are you?" He called. "Your favourite big brother's here to visit you!" You giggled as he looked back at you with a joking smile. You heard a muffled voice call from somewhere in the back, past a closed door.

"Wait a minute!" There was a set of footsteps approaching the door before it swung open, revealing a man similar looking to Ozo and his brothers, busy frowning down at something on his phone. His hair was shorter than Ozo's, though it was mostly covered by the black fedora he wore. He wore a pink V-neck T-shirt, a beige apron on top, with a brown beaded necklace on his neck and a similar bracelet hanging from his wrist.

He shut the door behind him, finally placing his phone down on the counter with a roll of his eyes before looking up. He ignored his brother, his eyes landing straight onto you as he gave you a cutely curved smile.

"Well, hello!" His voice was dripping with honey. "I don't think I've seen your face around here before!" He rested his chin on his hand, leaning forward.

"I just arrived here yesterday from the city!" you admitted, closing your eyes with a smile.

"Uh, hello!" Ozo glared at his brother. "I'm here, too!"

"I literally saw you yesterday. You're not important." Takashi flatly told him, not even sparing a look his way as a smile came back into his lips. You felt a stab of pain from the coldness of his words, watching as Ozo froze, mouth flailing open and closed as he clutched a hand over his heart.

"I'm Momose Takashi!" The man continued, holding a hand out to you. "What's your name?"

"..Uh, it's [L/N] [Y/N].." you stared slowly, shaking his hand (and taking note of how incredibly soft it was) before placing it back by your side. Then something clicked. "Wait.. Do you all have different second names?"

"Oh no.. You've met those idiots?" Toshio groaned, coming to terms that his opportunity to make a lady friend was promptly thrown out the window before he even got a chance.

"No, not all of you. I've met Chorosuke and Jyushimatsu, though." You clarified.

"What d'ya mean, 'those idiots?!'" Ozo suddenly cried.

"You know exactly what I mean, idiot," Takashi hissed, turning back to you. "As for the name thing... It's kinda complicated. You really don't wanna know."

You frowned slightly as the quick dismissal, but you also knew better than to pry, so you left it there. Instead, you gestured over to the display case.

"Did you make all these? They look amazing!" You praised. Takashi blushed, rubbing the back of his head, gladly taking all your kind words.

"Aha, yup! My dad taught me how to make all these!"

Ozo grinned devilishly, sidling up to your side as covering his mouth in a mock whisper, his voice still loud enough for Takashi to hear.

"He says that, but really, everything here is just from the sto-"

"WOULD YOU like to try some?" Takashi cut him off, slamming a box of assorted desserts onto the counter, his smile tense and shaky. "Since you're new here, I'll let you have these, on the house!"

"Really? Are you sure? I can pay for them!" Your hands flew to your bag, but Takashi stopped you.

"No, really! You can try as many as you'd like! I can't force myself to allow such a nice girl to pay for everything when she just got here," he winked. You blushed, thanking him kindly as he gestured for you to take a seat anywhere you'd like. "I'll make us some coffee while you get comfortable."

"What about me?!" Ozo's complaint went unheard as the back door slammed shut. He grumbled, dragging a chair out and plopping himself down beside you. Feeling bad for him, you turned the box towards him with a small smile.

"You can have some, too. I don't mind."

"[Y/N], you're the best!" He exclaimed, swiftly taking a frosted cupcake and taking a large bite, humming at the taste. You took a bite out of your own cupcake, eyes widening at the sweet taste of chocolate hitting your tongue.

"Wow, this is really good!" You spoke after swallowing a bite, licking your lips. Ozo agreed, sighing when he finished, licking the frosting off of his thumb. Looking over to him, you giggled, finding a touch of frosting on his cheek and around his mouth.

"Ozo, you got a little something here," you pointed to your own cheek, watching amusedly as he attempted to wipe it off, missing entirely.

"Did I get it?"

"No— here," you laughed, grabbing a tissue from the table and leaning forward, removing the frosting yourself. Focused on your task, you didn't realise how close you had gotten to his face until you looked up, finding yourself mere inches away from his lips. His face was tinted as red as your own, praying that you wouldn't be able to hear how fast his heart was pounding in his chest. His hands twitched, wanting to instinctively hold onto you, but he clenched them into fists on his lap instead.

"...I got it.." you breathed. A part of you didn't want to move away just yet, so you stayed there, close to him, revelling in the warmth he seemed to constantly give off. After a moment, Ozo's blown eyes relaxed back into their lazy look, finally bringing his hand up to your face.

"You've got some too, y'know.." his tone matching yours, breathless and hazy. He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip, the feeling sending a jolt of electricity up your spine, catching the bit of icing before bringing his thumb to his own mouth and licking it off. You stared, flushed and dizzy, unable to break away.

What was this? You had only just met, and you felt like your high-school self all over again. As if you were head-over-heels for him already, right? That would be ridiculous...

So why were you leaning in closer?

His breath fanned over your cheek, his hand resting itself on your waist, pulling you closer. You clutched tightly onto the front of his shirt, fluttering your eyes closed, the tingle of his lips just oh-so close to your own making you heat up considerably, and—

"I've got the coffee!"

You fell back into your seat with a jump, directing your body to face entirely away from the other two in the room. You were sure you looked akin to a tomato, and you hoped that Takashi hadn't just seen that..!

"Uh, are you two.. okay?" He asked after an awkward moment, observing your withdrawn form and Ozo's frigid look. His face was practically steaming. "Is it that hot in here? I guess I can turn the AC on.."

Takashi placed the coffee down on the table, and upon closer inspection of his brother, he paled. He struggled to contain his scream of despair as he suddenly latched a death-grip onto Ozo's arm, dragging him away.

"I-I'm sorry, [Y/N], but can you wait there a second? I need to have a little chat with my brother, haha.." he didn't wait for an answer, pulling a stuttering Ozo behind him and slamming the back door for the second time.

"What the fuck did you do?!" Takashi whispered hotly once they were out of earshot, his face morphed into horror and absolute anger. Ozo blinked, his mind still reeling after what had just happened.

"W-What? What happened? Nothing happened, why?" His voice was trembling, but he kept up the act. Takashi wasn't convinced though, ready to punch his brother in the guts.

"I'm seriously gonna kill you in a minute!" He grabbed Ozo's shoulder tightly. "If nothing's happened, then why the fuck have you popped a boner, you bastard?!"

»»-----　♔　-----««

#it’s getting a little warm in here #( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) #hahahahah #matsuno osomatsu #osomatsu san au #osomatsu #osomatsu matsuno #osomatsu x reader #osomatsu san #ozo akashika #ozo akashika x reader #todomatsu matsuno #takashi momose #xreader #romance #mature #suggestive #osomatsu san hesokuri wars #hesowars #hesokuri wars

[probably-writing-x]

Choice you’ve never had.

Guzmán x Reader

Request by anon: hello! i hope all is well 💚 i came to ask if you didn’t mind, could you do an ander/guzman x reader version of “the choice is yours” please?

Gif is not my own

Requests are closed🤍

It should’ve been impossible for his head to be turned. He could’ve accepted having everything that he had and everything that Lu gave him. But somewhere along the line, there’d been someone who changed that so so easily - in fact, the worst part of all, they hadn’t even tried.

It had been so simple really. You’d always been there. You were just one of the class. Never really too loud, always just keeping yourself to yourself and avoiding anything that the other students became wrapped up in. When things started to spiral uncontrollably after Marinas death, it was like you’d emerged from the shadows. You stood up for the girl that had always been a good friend for you. And, just like Guzmán, you’d been completely hell bent on finding who did that to her. You had the same aggression, determination and drive that he did. And the two of you became unlikely allies amongst the chaos. You’d helped him when he had to keep Samuel safe at his grandparents house, and you’d been the one to take the first hit when you found out Polo was guilty. All of those rollercoaster emotions that Guzmán went through, you went through them too. Him, as her brother, with you, as her friend. That’s all you’d kept it as. Beyond your ties, he was still the boy that had mocked you and found any reason to joke about even your presence in a class. He’d ignored you, been rude, and always just been in a separate field to you. Everything with Marina wouldnt change that. It just meant you had pushed that aside for a little time.

For you, at least. For Guzmán, things were very different. He’d seen you in a light that he’d never seen anyone before. You had this deepset passion that he’d seen you unleash on multiple occasions, though you were too wise to let yourself be led by it. You were honest, sometimes blunt, but never offensive. You were cautious, caring, and the way you’d hugged his Mother and offered your condolences was one of the most genuine thing he’d seen in a long time. You were forgiving more than he ever was, but you weren’t willing to be a pushover.

And so, the impossibility of his head being turned suddenly became fearfully possible.

He glanced to Lu who stood across the corridor from him at school. She was talking in hushed tones to Valerio about something. Guzmán couldn’t deny it, she was stunning. She had that obvious type of beauty. Of course she did. It’s what drew him to her in the first place. But the reason he’d stayed for so long went far beyond her looks. It went way past that. She’d become his support system without him ever really knowing. He relied on her more than anyone. Without ever being asked, Lu had stood by his side through everything. Even when they both knew he didn’t deserve it. She’d been there for him more than anybody in his life and it showed in how long they’d been together. That only ended when Guzmán became so wrapped up in questioning who he really wanted.

That’s when he sees you walking down the opposite direction of the corridor. You were talking to Nadia about something he couldn’t understand but you’d just said something to make her laugh. You. So unknowingly ripping at his heart to express how he felt to you. It was like he’d met his match in you. This weird, better version of himself that he’d never noticed until a time that felt a little too late. It shouldn’t have taken Marina for him to see you for yourself. She always spoke so highly of you and he’d always dismissed it, never caring much when she defended you after he’d been a dick. You’d been the one to tell him everything he didn’t realise he needed to hear. Who’d snapped him out of it when he was in the wrong. Who’d shown him what a good person was and what he wanted to be. You challenged him, made it impossible to get any further than surface level - but he still found himself trying.

“(Y/n),” He calls out to you as you’re walking past him, it’s involuntary really - and part of him wishes he’d kept quiet.

“Guzmán,” You nod once you’ve said goodbye to Nadia, “What’s up?”

“I wanted to know if you’re going to the party tonight?”

“The party where you’re made to put in the kind of effort that females are expected to? Guzmán there isn’t anything I’d want to see more,” You joke, tilting your head to the side, “Do you need to borrow a dress?”

He laughs and looks down at his feet like a boy far younger than his age now, “Okay, then I’ll see you there.”

“If you’re lucky,” You roll your eyes.

There was more to you and Guzmán than just allies, even if you’d tried to avoid it for so long. There was a side of him that you’d been exposed to only recently, that side of him that he’d always hidden when portraying himself as the confident king of class. You found yourself admiring qualities of him that you hoped you’d be able to find in yourself eventually. And he wasn’t just Marinas dickish older brother anymore. But you’d shut off those feelings as quickly as they’d arrived. Losing Marina was one of the hardest things you’d ever gone through, it had changed you. But it shouldn’t change you so much that you become a completely different person. You should remain the girl that Guzmán made fun of and constantly treated like he was better than. You were still that girl. Because the second you became different to that was the time you gave in to the years of him mocking you. You couldn’t let yourself fall for him.

“I’ll see you tonight, Guzmán,” You comment as you go to walk past him and head out of school.

He keeps his eyes focused on you as you exit, unable to tear them away until Lu walks over.

“Make sure you bring drink tonight Guzmán,” She reminds him, having made such a point of that ever since she’d first planned this Valentines party.

“Right, yeah, I won’t forget,” He smiles, “Happy Valentines Day.”

She practically laughs in his face, “Is it?”

Guzmán can’t find it in him to respond. He’d hurt her. All because of his own uncertainty.

“Guzmán don’t act like things are normal, you and I both know where your heart lies.”

“We do?” He raises his brows, “I’m not so sure.”

“The fact that you had to question it tells me you already know,” Lu shrugs her shoulders like she’s already brushed off any pain he’d caused, “I’ll see you tonight, Guzmán.”

There’s something about the words. How you’d both spoken them. Both with that slight shading of irritation towards him. That glimmer of annoyance that he caused. But there was only one person that said them and made his legs feel a little weak beneath him.

- - - - - -

That night, Guzmán walks into the party alone and that feels strange in itself. He’d always had Lu by his side, even for something simple like this. There are already enough people milling about to make him feel less lonely as he walks in with an expensive bottle held in one hand.

“Guzmán!” Lu calls from the top of the stairs when she sees him, “Glad to see you’ve put in effort to something recently.”

It was an evident dig at how he’d given up on their relationship. But he takes it. He deserved it.

“You look great,” She eyes him up and down, “And you brought drinks!”

He laughs and holds up the bottle, “I couldn’t disappoint you.”

“Are you sure about that?” She cocks a brow as she takes the bottle from him and walks over to the table where all of the other drinks were displayed.

“Is everyone here already?” He glances around the room in search of a face he wanted to see.

“She was in the garden last time I saw her,” Lu states, seeing straight through his asking about the collective.

“I didn’t ask-“

“I didn’t need you to.”

He hated how things were with them now.

Just as Lu had said, he turns to see you walking back through the doors into the house. You were dressed in a lilac suit with a white bandeau crop and sneakers. How could you make a suit look so good? You had a beer in your hand and you were talking to Omar about something that seemed important - he watched as you gave him a reassuring hug and turned to part ways.

In that moment, Guzmán is completely certain of everything he wants. Somehow, in an unexpected and uncertain turn of events, Guzmán had strayed completely from what he’d expected in his life. He’d met you for what felt like the first time, despite knowing you for years. He never really did know you though. He’d been so blind sighted.

But it would be a risk, wouldn’t it? He’d completely lose Lu if he ended up going for anybody else. And you could so easily reject him. How did he know that you’d not just be completely temporary?

Lu walks up to him once again, “Guzmán are you seriously just going to stand in the middle of my house and not move?”

He snaps from his gaze and looks down at her, “I...”

“What are you thinking about? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

“How did you know that you loved me Lu?” He asks her so abruptly.

Guzmán was yet to be certain that he’d ever felt that way about someone. He’d like to think that he was in love with Lu. But he’d questioned it recently.

“Fucking hell,” She mutters under her breath before taking a deep breath, “I knew that I’d do anything for you.”

“Weren’t you... I mean didn’t you... did you question it?”

She turns to stand beside him so that both of them are looking in your direction, “If you ever have to question whether you love someone, the answer should always be no. But if there’s somebody who makes you question your love for someone else, it’s normally with pretty good reason.”

“You think I love (Y/n)?”

“I think I never saw you look at me that way.”

With that, she walks off with her shoulders held high as Guzmán keeps focused on you.

He’d never looked at anyone that way.

You’re stood pouring yourself a drink into a red solo cup and you’re trying to avoid getting knocked over by the arguing couple behind you. And he feels it. He knows that he’d do it all for you. He’d give you everything he could. He’d go through the nights where both of you cried for Marina. He’d be the one to pull you away from Polo when you’d first discovered it was him. He’d let you yell in his face when you were so infuriated by everything the world had thrown at you. He’d let himself learn faster and faster who you were, and who he’d been missing.

That’s how he finds himself walking over to you with such intention that he finds it impossible to turn back. It’s focused, driven, so utterly certain of everything he’d been questioning for the past six months.

“(Y/n),” He calls out to you as he’s nearing, watching as you turn around with the most delicate of smiles on your face.

You didn’t have the type of obvious beauty that Lu had - where anybody saw it. You were understated, reserved and so intricately beautiful. All these little features that he’d been blind to not notice before as they came together to create this level of beauty that felt like it was made to be perfect.

“Guzmán, nice outfit choice,” You nod at him, “Would help if you remembered the top half of your outfit.”

“Noted,” He nods, all words that he’d prepared somehow failing him.

“What are you doing over here, Guzmán?” You ask after some time of silence between you.

He looks at you with a bashful smile, “I’ve spent months trying to question whether I was delusional. I thought I was crazy. I had Lu, this girl that would do anything for me. And I just didn’t feel the same.”

“Guzmán, I don’t want to talk about your love lif-“

“Just hear me out, stop interrupting me for once in your life,” He laughs, “Okay?”

You cock a brow, “Continue.”

“But I realised it was all because of you and that confused me even more.”

“Because I’m the girl you made fun of for years?”

“(Y/n)! Just listen!”

You laugh but it’s only to ease the nervous tension building inside you.

“I don’t regret not getting to know you earlier in my life. I think it took everything that’s been happening recently for me to properly see you, for everything you have and everything you are. I really like you (Y/n),” He admits with a shaky breath, “So, I’m asking, would you like to be my valentine?”

You take a sip of your drink, “That was a nice reveal but it didn’t need the big speech.”

He laughs and a bright, dimple inducing, grin spreads onto his features, “Wow.”

“You were a dick to me all through the first years of high school. But now, you’ve become this dick that I actually have stuff in common with. And who knows how to make me laugh. I’m not saying you’re perfect, because you still are the asshole who used to make jokes about everything I did, but...” You pause, “The answer to your very cheesy question is yes.”

The tension in his shoulders visibly relaxes.

“Just because I feel bad for you for wearing such a horrific outfit,” You joke, never being one to keep your sincerity for too long.

“That’s all it is huh?”

You pause like you’re pondering the thought, “Nobody wants to be alone on Valentine’s Day.”

“Ahh, of course,” He clicks his tongue, “Do you want to get out of here? Go get some food or something?”

“Yeah, yeah okay,” You agree, finishing your drink and setting the drink down, “Did you bring a jacket?”

He chuckles at your concern, “You think I’d willingly go out in public like this? Of course I brought a jacket!”

You laugh as he places a hand on your back and guides you through the crowd of people. As he does so, his eyes catch Lu amongst the crowd. She looks between the two of you and lets a smile fall onto her lips. Her martini glass raises in his direction and she gives him a knowing nod. He’d made his choice, and it was never going to be her.

#guzman #guzman imagine #guzman drabble #guzman blurb #guzman one shot #guzman request #guzman writing #guzman fanfiction #guzman x reader #guzman x you #guzman x y/n #elite #elite guzman #elite netflix #elite imagine #elite one shot #elite drabble #elite blurb #elite fanfiction #elite writing #elite request

[kisskissbanggang]

Standby

[10 Min. Read/2.3K Words -- Bang Chan x Female Reader -- Idol!AU -- NSFW/Smut, Some plot -- Hand Jobs, Hazy Boundaries, Sneaking Around, Job Hazards, One-Sided Feelings, Acting Professional]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Masterlist | Feedback

This was your luckiest break yet, and now it was crumbling in front of your eyes.

You stood rigid, wrestling with the unyielding doorknob in the hallway, silently pleading it to just open. Your knuckles were actually sore from constantly knocking, but you went for it again.

"Chan?" You tried calling out once more.

"Seriously, just a minute!" Came the agitated reply.

"Come on, this is ridiculous!" You shook your head, running through your list of options.

This wasn't like Chan. You'd only been working with him personally for a few months, but you were well aware of him before that. Before you were accepted into your internship with JYP, you had actually been working at the cafe on the ground floor of the building. You saw Chan nearly every day, being friendly and holding doors open for people. He even came and ordered coffee occasionally, enjoying being able to have someone new to chat with in english. When you were first introduced to the band as an assistant manager, Chan immediately jumped up and vouched for you. In return, you promised him you'd always do your best to do right by him. Your transition into the group's lives was made so much easier, and you knew you could count on Chan for being a good guy.

Why was it, then, that he was being so god-damned difficult? He had been holed up in the green room since the group left standby to wait on deck in the wings backstage at Inkigayo. You knew it had been a rough day overall. The boys practiced until midnight and after a few hours of sleep they had been in the studio until it was time to leave for the recording late in the afternoon. He'd seemed out of it, on edge, endlessly tired. You tried to think of every tactic you'd witnessed Hyun-Jae-unnie try with the group. She'd been one of their managers for a couple years now, and she was a sight to behold. She knew the schedules, the flights, the appointments, she had members' favorite candies on her at all times, she knew when they preferred to fall asleep and what they would probably want to order from any restaurant near the dorm. Recalling everything you possibly could, you knew Chan needed plentiful, yet firm, encouragement.

"Chan?" You attempted, more gently this time, "You've been doing so well today. I just need to come in and make sure you're okay so we can get you on deck."

"Holy shit, one fucking minute please?" You blinked hard at the frantic reply. This was so unlike him, but now you were getting concerned. You clenched your fists around imaginary stress balls. A drastic thought came to mind.

"Chris. Let me in. Or I'm coming in."

A pregnant silence ghosted through the door. You'd only used Chan's other name once, in disbelief after a couple too many beers during a group night out. He'd clumsily attempted to big brother you and chide you about wasting time on another intern at the company who wouldn't stop flirting with you. The idiot intern did, indeed, waste your time, but you never forgot how Chan had tensed under the name coming out of your mouth.

Well, he did this to himself. There was no way you were failing a task as deceptively simple as "get Chan out of the green room before I kill him." You inspected the doorknob: it had a little hole in the center. Remembering how you'd seen Hyun-Jae-unnie do it before, you opened your bag and pulled out the knitting needle she suggested you keep for just this reason. You fiddled with needle in the lock, hoping to trip the simple mechanism. The lock finally gave way with an audible click, sending you stumbling onto the floor of the green room.

You quickly scrambled to sit up, simultaneously gasping and covering your eyes at the sight of Chan -- face flushed but rapidly reddening -- as he stood from the seat at the vanity and whipped around, trying desperately to stuff his rigid member back into his pants.

But it was too late. Your hand still clamped over your eyes, you now impatiently placed the other on your hip.

"Chan, are you kidding me?! Is that what we're all waiting for? Can you finish up please?"

"Don't you think I would if I could?!"

"Fine, walk it off and let's go."

You turned around so you could safely open your eyes once more and waited for any sort of answer, only to be met with Chan cursing under his breath as he put himself back together.

"Oh, of all the fucking things, Jesus Christ--" he muttered.

"What is it now?!"

Chan sighed, defeated. "The zip is stuck."

Your eyes practically rolled back in your head from the force of your annoyed groan. You wheeled back around, storming across the room to slap Chan's hands away from his pants. Grabbing firmly at the zipper, you began wrestling with it yourself, only half noticing the mild terror and gross curiosity in Chan's eyes as he watched.

"I'm sure you're just sweating," you sneered. "You know, from being caught." You were teasing, and it was possibly mean, but you both understood he sort of deserved it.

"Well, maybe if you weren't being so pushy I could actually finish and you wouldn't have to catch me." You did look up now, rolling your eyes at Chan's provoking smirk.

You wrenched at the zipper, which was well and truly stuck. You could almost hear all of your superiors berating and mocking you for causing a broadcast delay. Suddenly, an idea struck.

"Chan," you started carefully, "I can make this work. I have a safety pin in my bag that I can use to just hold the opening down for the broadcast. Then we can push the problem onto a stylist."

"Brilliant!"

"But..."

Chan let out an exaggerated sigh. "What?! What now?!"

"I need to have everything else in place so the pin isn't carrying any tension, or else it might break or bend. So I need to button and belt you."

"Sure. And?" He rushed you.

"Calm the hell down. I... Well, I can't exactly get in there safely if you're still hard. Can you at least shove it down one leg?"

Chan nervously bounced his foot and turned away and back again, the blush returning to his cheeks. "I can't. That's why I was trying to take care of it, but I can't even finish. And, as I'm sure you can see --" he gestured to the ludicrously expensive pants, "-- these aren't exactly forgiving and I'm actually a little claustrophobic in them. All I know is I was super stressed and feeling a little anxious, and I'm a genius and thought 'Sure, I can relieve some stress super quick if I hang back in the green room', but now I can't finish and can't get it back down, and I'm pretty sure I'm actually dead and this is hell."

The only idea ringing out in your head was a stupid one, but was the only viable option if you didn't want to call for help, and good god you didn't want to call for help. In your first week as an intern, you messed up the coffee order once and caught flack for it for three days. No. No help. This was all up to you, and you'd be damned to let Chan trip you both up. You placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Channie," you tried gently, "I can fix this. Do you trust me?"

His eyes widened at the cute name, momentarily distracted from his current doom. He shook himself out of it. "If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting, then I'll tell you right now that that's not happening --" Chan babbled incessantly, crumbling faster and faster towards the hell that was going to engulf you both if you weren't careful.

"Chris."

His eyes darted back and forth from your hand clutching his shoulder, to your determined gaze.

"Chris," you began again, "we're going to make it out of this, but you'll have to trust me. I said I'd always do right by you, right?"

"Right." He was quieter now, warily following your subtle lead as you slowly backed him up against the vanity he had been sitting at when you first stumbled in, your other hand still gripping his waistband. "You can say no," you reminded him as you let him go.

He took a moment to silently consider before he heartily shook his head to refute. "No," he said definitively, "it's insane but I think you and I are both a little too manic from stress to come up with anything better. Do it."

You both nodded in agreement as you grabbed for his jeans, this time pulling them down just enough to give him some breathing room. You hesitated as you reached for his hard cock when you suddenly realized. You reached one hand to his face, the other around his waist, and Chan leaned back, curiously considering what you were doing before he tentatively ducked his head back down to yours. His eyes closed, his lips barely brushing yours when you realized what he was doing. You yelped, jumping back. Chan looked puzzled.

"Wrong?"

"Wrong. Don't make it weird." You nodded and approached him again, trying again and this time quickly slipping his headset off of his ear and switching off his mic pack. God forbid a sound tech checked the monitor and overheard.

Chan smirked. "It's already too weird to not be weird." His raised eyebrows faltered as you finally got a tentative hold of his cock. He let out a thick groan, eyes squeezed shut and unable to hold back as you began to gently pump his length. Instinctively, you gracefully spat onto your palm before resuming stroking him, the added lubricant making him whine and squirm. He leaned back more against the vanity, breathing hard and watching you intently now. His moans made you blush, really making you consider just what the hell you were doing.

"If it helps," he groaned, "I've always thought you're really pretty."

You accidentally squeezed hard, getting a strangled whimper out of Chan. You clamped your thighs tight, hoping to dull any arousal threatening to bubble up "Nope, doesn't help," you squeaked, "shut up. It's just business."

Chan shook his head. "So sexy," he mused sardonically, biting at his lip as you began stroking him harder.

"Close at all?" You asked, hopeful as you noticed the flush crawl up his neck and his grip on the vanity tighten.

"Much more than earlier," he observed thoughtfully.

"How do we get you there?"

Chan looked as pensive as he could with you adding more saliva to the firm length of his cock.

"... Say my name again."

You raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Really?"

"I like the way it sounds when you say it," he murmured sheepishly.

Fine. If it would help him finish, then you would play along. Still massaging his rigid member, you let yourself lean more into his personal space. Chan watched carefully as you finally met his gaze.

"You do?" You asked, almost cutely. His eyes widened just the smallest bit, his blown out pupils shaking as he barely nodded. "You like hearing how I want you to cum, Chris?" His breathing hitched. You quieted every nerve in your body tempted to respond to how turned on you wanted to be. You pulled away from his stare, leaning up instead to press your lips to his ear. "Say it."

"I..." He tripped over his words, only made worse as you stopped stroking him.

"Say it, Chris," you hissed.

"I... I think about it a lot. I love it," he admitted quietly, his hands gripping the vanity tightly. Your heart stopped and you urged yourself to charge ahead.

"Good." You praised, unknowing exactly where all this energy was coming from, but unable to immediately deny that it felt good. Chan's moans more steadily turned to whimpers as you quickly resumed your previous, vigorous pace.

"Oh, fuck," Chan whined. You couldn't help but let a small smile take hold.

"What now?"

"I'm getting close," he groaned desperately, "thank Christ."

"I think you mean 'thank you'."

"Not yet, I don't."

You gave in to the moment, unable to not share a short, exhausted laugh between the two of you. However, you knew you were running short on time. You pressed your lips to his ear again.

"Chris?"

"Yeah?" He shivered. You were only further emboldened.

"Cum." You commanded, your slick grip focusing on the head of his cock. Just as you felt him tense against you, you dropped to your knees in front of him, earning a surprised and loud yelp as you wrapped your lips around his spurting cock and sucking him dry. You looked up, admiring as Chan threw his head back, cursing to himself as you swallowed the hot load. Confident of a job well done, you gave a satisfied smile to his rapidly wilting member.

Chan watched, dazed and stunned and speechless as you quickly set about ruffling through your bag, still on your shoulder from the moment you burst into the room. Swiftly, you fished out the safety pin, stuffing Chan back into his briefs and into his impossibly tight jeans and pinning his fly closed after you buttoned and belted him. You finished off with a quick spurt of hand sanitizer on your palms and a mint in your mouth before grabbing Chan by the arm and hauling him out of the room.

You hazarded a glance back at Chan's goofy, half-awake grin as you pulled him towards the wings backstage.

"Shut up."

"I haven't said anything!"

"You want to, though."

Chan, enjoying himself entirely too much, stifled a giggle. "No," he laughed, "wouldn't be very professional." He jogged ahead, apologizing profusely to the managers and rattling off a thorough excuse. Hyun-Jae-unnie looked at you skeptically before finally settling on a look of quiet pride at your success in your task. Chan looked back as he bowed his head in gratitude for everyone's patience, having the audacity to shoot an actual wink at you.

This was going to be trouble.

#WHOOPS WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT #kpop smut #kpop fanfiction #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #bang chan #bang chan smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios

[lost-in-time-marie]

Into the Shadows: Chapter Six

           I stared at my reflection in the mirror attempting to recognize myself underneath the black bandit style mask (a replica of my shadowy hero’s) and knee length black dress. There was the familiar splash of brown hair, falling in loose careful waves to my shoulder. My hazel eyes could be seen, somehow more striking than before, thanks to the black mask surrounding them. My pale skin glowed in stark contrast to the plain dress. Perhaps it was just the fact that I was going to a haunted house that made my stomach curl or maybe the mask was giving me PTSD about the two times I’d been attacked and then rescued by some unknown hero, but I knew in my bones, without room for doubt, that tonight would not be fun as Natasha, James, and Aleks had promised.

           Halloween had finally arrived, a fact I would normally be overjoyed by, Halloween being my second favorite holiday, the only day all year you could be anyone but yourself and no one could judge you for it. The haunted house our school was putting on was making me uneasy, that’s what I kept telling myself anyways. I even forced Natasha, Sam, Aleks, and Katy to join the set-up committee with me, that way I would know all the surprises and plans so I couldn’t really get frightened when I actually went.

         “Pull yourself together, Kristin. You’re being ridiculous. Nothing is going to happen, it’s just a haunted house!” I muttered to myself, forcing myself to take three deep breaths. That helped, by the time Natasha honked her horn out front, I was marginally calmer and managed some excitement for tonight. This would be a great Halloween; I silenced any thought or feeling that disputed that fact.

         “You excited to see you lover?” Natasha teased, as I slid easily into the black, leather interior of her car. Natasha had been nearly incorrigible since I announced my impending date with James.

         I rolled my eyes, “You’re hilarious,” I muttered, in no mood for such cracks about James.

“So, are you crazy excited for tonight?” She grinned, her whole face lighting with excitement.

         “Woo!” I said, monotonous and unenthusiastic. Natasha scowled at me, but she didn’t have time for a lecture, as we pulled into the school then and hunted for a parking space. I groaned internally. This was going to be bad, I don’t know why and I don’t know how, but it’s going to be bad.

         “Hey, I’m going to hunt down Aleks. Wait right here,” said Natasha as we arrived at the now spooky main hall of the school, before snaking through the pack of awaiting students. I sighed and hugged myself in the cramped corner of the dim, cobweb covered entrance. This wasn’t the part of the school I had decorated, but I could see they really went all out for this. Spiders hung from the ceiling, eerie music played in the background, skeletons’ creepy grins poked around corners; even peoples’ costumes were done to the nines. There were vampires, witches, zombies; every horror movie flick imaginable met in this cramped hall waiting to be unleashed upon the rest of the school. The whole thing made my skin crawl. The brick building suddenly seemed even more imposing in the dark, it didn’t feel natural to be on campus at 8pm at night.

         “Hey, don’t you look comfortable,” Katy teased with a bright smile, coming to stand beside me.

         I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help smiling in return. “Well, you know how I’m so fond of cramped spaces and scary movies. It’s like my two favorite things collided,” I joked sarcastically, already feeling better with her there.

         Katy laughed, “Don’t be a baby. Have a little fun. So, what do you think of my costume?” she asked, giving a small twirl in the room allowed. I realized her black hair was pulled back by a simple black headband, and her round figure concealed by a conservative, white church dress, topped off with a leather-bound Bible in her arms.

         I busted out laughing. “I see you were feeling ironic this Halloween,” I said. Katy was a well-known atheist, constantly spouting religious arguments and disproving Bible passages. She played up the Bible-thumping, churchgoer to a T.

         Katy smiled pleasantly and curtseyed. “And what are you supposed to be?” she asked, eyeing my simple ensemble.

         I rolled my eyes, recognizing the I-should-have-dressed-you look. “A masked figure,” I beamed, enjoying my own private joke. Katy simply raised a brow and shook her head, accustomed to my odd tendencies.

         “So what’s been going on with you and James?” She asked, winking and giggling. I sighed. Katy and Natasha hated each other, but they were remarkably similar. I wasn’t ready for round two of this interrogation.

         “Why is everyone suddenly determined to get me a boyfriend? I don’t date, Katy, you know that,” I snapped at her unintentionally. It wasn’t her fault this was the second time I was hearing this, I reminded myself, trying to reign in my annoyance. She groaned.

         “Yeah, but you could. James sounds absolutely perfect for you. You couldn’t possibly be afraid of dating him; it’s all just too perfect! Practically what you wished for on a silver platter,” She argued with a deep scowl.

         “James is really great, but I don’t know…I just can’t,” I hedged, shrugging. Katy narrowed her eyes at me, clearly suspecting something was afoot, but thankfully Natasha was approaching us with Aleks- feigning mock annoyance to hide his delight- in tow. That was all the signal Katy needed, she jetted away with a quick goodbye.

         “Eww, were you talking to Katy?” Natasha asked, wrinkling her nose.

         I rolled my eyes and ignored her. “Aleks, are you seriously dressed as Vladimir Lenin?” I asked, laughing.

         “He was a great leader of Mother Russia,” Aleks replied with a grin, flashing all his pearly white teeth, and emphasizing his thick Russian accent. Sure enough, he stood before me in a fake beard and suit. I shook my head and laughed.

         “Hey, Natasha’s dressed like a hippy, so you can’t really make fun of me,” Aleks teased her, nudging her shoulder, and pulling the attention off himself. I took in Natasha’s costume for the first time. She wore a tie-dyed t-shirt and bell bottoms, had her unruly hair wrangled by a headband, and a peace sign necklace hung from her neck.

         “That is true,” I agreed. Natasha batted my arm playfully; we bantered like that for only a minute or so more before a teacher announced on the intercom several rules of conduct for the evening, and finally, the long awaited go ahead to explore our haunted campus.

         I had to admit, we did a pretty good job decorating the school, it was seriously sinister. Despite having helped set up, I still screamed a few times at different monsters jumping out and fake spiders touching me. It was a lot of fun, I enjoyed the company of my friends, I almost forgot the sense of impending doom I had started the night with. As the night went on, I noticed Natasha drawing nearer and nearer to Aleks and took that as my cue to leave.

“Why don’t you guys head to the cafeteria for food and whatnot while I see if I can find James?” I suggested. Natasha smiled and nodded gratefully while Aleks just shrugged, okay with anything. We said our goodbyes and promised to meet up soon. I headed in the opposite direction, not really looking for James, just wanting to give Natasha some space and alone time with Aleks. A tight sensation snaked around my chest, strangely suffocating, an unexpected, yet familiar, side effect of being around such sickly-sweet romance and purely innocent puppy love. I could tell she liked him dearly, and, to be honest, seeing people all lovey-dovey in relationships made me want to hurl these days.

While wandering aimlessly, lost in thought, through the dark halls and classrooms filled with costumed students, coffins, skeletons, ghosts, and other monstrous props, I ran smack into something. Something hard and sturdy, I fell right on my butt and what I ran into did not even budge. For half a second, I wondered if I’d gotten so lost in thought I’d actually run into a wall, but then I heard a familiar small, high voice.

         “Is she going to be okay?” The familiar voice asked.

         “Yes, she’ll be just fine. Believe it or not, this is actually the second time she’s run into me because she wasn’t paying attention,” Another deeper, even more familiar voice teased. My eyes snapped open.

         “It’s not my fault you don’t say anything, you just stand there and let me crash into you,” I fumed, staring up at the identical faces of Ryder and Robbie. I might have found it comical how they were looking down at me and making the same bemused facial expression, but I was too embarrassed to really appreciate it. Ryder rolled his eyes, but was unable to hide the smallest smile turning up the corner of his lips. He grabbed underneath my arms and easily hoisted me upright, before quickly letting go and stepping back.

         “Hello, Kristin, are you having fun?” Robbie asked unusually bright, grabbing my hand and then Ryder’s, tugging us along with him.

         “Robbie, Kristin might have somewhere else to go, don’t just drag her along,” Ryder chastised, halting Robbie and casting him a disapproving look.  “Aww, do you have somewhere to go?” Robbie asked glumly, his pink bottom lip puckering, sad, blue eyes devoid of the happiness I previously saw there.

         “No, it’s okay, Robbie, I’ll come along with you guys if you want,” I said, looking at Ryder with a raised brow. He shrugged nonchalantly and looked to Robbie to make the decision. Robbie grinned, instantly happy again.

         “Yay! Let’s go get candy!” exclaimed Robbie, releasing our hands and running ahead of us in the direction of the cafeteria, his one-track mind already fleeting to another subject.

         “You can have a little bit, but don’t run ahead too far, stay where I can see you!” Ryder called after Robbie, sounding, and looking, very much like a concerned father. There was something intriguing about the little flashes of the real Ryder I got see behind the mask he always wore. I could tell that this Ryder was truly him, that every day he walked around with a solid, emotionless mask on. For what reason I was still unsure, but I was certain the real Ryder was fun and beautiful, the kind of person that attracted other people, like a moth to flame. I wanted to know that person. I never could back down from a challenge. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Ryder and I were not friends, I still harbored a strong dislike for him, and he for me, but curiosity often got the best of me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Ryder asked, amused. I realized I’d been staring at him and felt a blush creep up my face.

“Sorry, I was just thinking,” I said, sheepish, turning my gaze to the floor.

“About what?” Ryder asked, curious, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking ahead after Robbie, who was winding his way through the crowd.

“Lots of things, like always; this event, school, things like that,” I responded with a shrug. Ryder chuckled. My head snapped to him in shock, it was rare for him to show any emotion, even in private, but at a public function such as this? It had never happened as far as I knew. He pretended not to notice. A full smile warmed his sharp, pale face and melted his usually hard eyes into glowing green embers.

“You have this remarkable way of answering questions without actually sharing any information about yourself,” He commented, casting me a wry look. I laughed.

“You are more perceptive than most. I was thinking about how you act very much like a father to Robbie, more so than an older brother,” I answered more honestly this time. Ryder’s face darkened instantly, like a storm cloud covering the sun. Regret instantly panged my stomach. I had allowed myself to enjoy Ryder’s company for a brief moment, and I managed to ruin it just as quickly. I wondered after a minute of suffocating silence if he would respond.

“Our parents…died,” he said, voice thick and heavy with sorrow, “it wasn’t very long ago. We lived in Washington, D.C, before this. My father was a scientist in a military lab, there was an accident and he was just gone. My mother died of a broken heart; they were so in love; she just couldn’t deal. She became so sick. My uncle and father were very close, he lives here on Long Island; he took us in. He truly is a great man; I owe him so much. Robbie was very upset, we all were, but he was missing something in his life, he was missing a father, and my uncle tried his best, but he just isn’t the same as our dad. I’ve tried very hard ever since then to fill that hole for Robbie. He’s gotten better, especially lately,” Ryder finished, struggling to keep his voice even. I stared for a minute just trying to process this tragedy, the hurt and depression were evident in Ryder’s hollow voice, dark eyes, and pained face, even his stance grew more hunched, as if some unknown weight were beating upon him, and as I studied him, I realized I recognized that feeling. The feeling of a weight you cannot hope to bear on your own, so obvious to you, but invisible to the world, the kind of burden that seeped into your bones until you were made of cement just trudging along, fighting for every breath, every moving muscle. This overwhelming emotion nearly made me double over, suddenly sitting heavy on my chest.

I fought for composure before answering. “I can’t even begin to imagine having to bear all that for your brother, it sounds as though you were very close to your parents,” I attempted, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. We stared at each other for a moment, somehow kindred spirits in our unknown tragedies.

Suddenly Ryder smiled, a small, sad smile, just the slightest lifting of the corners of his pink lips. “Thank you,” he said in a soft voice, “For understanding and not saying sorry. I know people are sorry it happened, but sorry sounds too much like pity. I don’t want pity, and neither would my parents. I’m sure I sound crazy, but thank you.” He ranted, all in one breath. I returned his smile with one of equal sadness. He wasn’t crazy; I understood exactly what he meant. Everyone said sorry when someone died, but it didn’t make anything better and they didn’t really understand. Sorry was often just disguised pity, and I never, no matter what tragedies I endured, wanted pity. And if I didn’t want that pity, I didn’t really imagine too many other people were deserving of it either. I think Ryder could see that somewhere in my face.

I cleared my throat, attempting to change the subject. “So where’s your costume?” I asked, scrutinizing his casual jeans, grey t-shirt, and black converse.

“I’m a stone statue of course, this girl I know told me once that I always look like a statue, frozen and stoic,” Ryder teased, pausing in place and hardening his face and tensing his muscles, transforming before my eyes into the familiar cold Ryder I’d grown so used to. I laughed, and though he kept his composed face, his lighthearted air remained. I could tell our previous conversation was a very secret subject that would never come up again. I found myself glad. I was curious about Ryder’s past and I spent so many days seeking this kind of explanation for his cold mannerisms, but seeing Ryder in so much pain was almost disturbing. The urge to reach out, to help, was overpowering. Natasha always said I was a sucker for lost causes, the savior of sinners and the damned.

“Oh, well, that girl obviously knew what she was talking about,” I grinned and nudged his shoulder. He laughed. It was a musical sound, oddly comforting and relaxing; I hoped for some bizarre reason that I would hear it more often. I became aware then, that I was the most relaxed I had been all night walking through these halls with Ryder.

“Robbie! Not so much candy, you’ll make yourself sick,” Ryder scolded with a soft smile as we finally entered the cafeteria and found Robbie loading himself down by the fistful with sweets. It was brighter in here and tables all along the walls were covered with sodas, punches, candy, sweets, and other delicious treats. Robbie was quickly darting around and stuffing his face with a little of everything. I laughed as Ryder stole bits of food from Robbie, who would then scowl at him so seriously, as if Ryder were stealing prized jewels from his personal safe.

“Kristin! There you are, I’ve been searching everywhere for you,” Natasha called, pushing through a crowd of people, Aleks following quietly behind.

“Oh, sorry, I got caught up,” I replied, gesturing to Ryder and Robbie, who now ceased bickering and stood beside me in stiff silence. Robbie waved shyly and half hid behind Ryder’s leg, Ryder gave a curt nod, his face and attitude totally reverted to cold, “stone statue” mode.

“We found James by the way; he’s been in the cafeteria the whole time. Sorry you had to spend all that time searching,” Natasha apologized. James slid his way through the crowd then and came to stand with us. Ryder’s face hardened perceptibly, I wondered how his teeth didn’t turn to dust from how hard he was clenching them together. Jeez, if looks could kill.

“We have to be going. See you around, Kristin.” Ryder said harshly, his words like daggers.

“Bye,” I whispered, staring at Ryder’s retreating form. Robbie cast one heartbreaking look at me, almost as if I betrayed him, before fleeing with his brother. I liked to think I was growing accustomed to Ryder’s abrupt shifts in mood, but every time he shifted gears, I found myself whirling in his wake.

“What did he want?” James asked casually, but I detected the slightest edge to his voice.

“Nothing, I ran into him, literally, and we just talked and walked to the cafeteria together,” I responded with a shrug, confused by the sudden change in Ryder’s attitude and the overly harsh, rude way he responded to James. Even James, easygoing and carefree, seemed to aim a certain tense, harshness at Ryder. It was exactly like when the three of us worked together for the Psychology project. James hadn’t liked Ryder from the beginning, and Ryder didn’t like anyone, but their dislike seemed to intensify overnight to sheer hatred of one another. I wondered if perhaps my imagination was getting the better of me again. Surely that was just Ryder’s usual distaste for everyone, and if I could hate Ryder so quickly on the first day of school, James could too. That was it, I was imagining the personal edge to their slights, I tried comforting myself unsuccessfully.

James nodded casually before Natasha expertly steered the conversation to safer waters. I shoved these confusing thoughts from my mind and attempted to enjoy my time with my friends. We stayed in the cafeteria for a little longer, chatting easily and munching on snacks.

“Hey, we should go see the dungeon exhibit, I want to see what it looks like now that it’s all set up,” Aleks suggested after a while.

“I know! We did such a good job replicating those torture devices!” Natasha boasted excitedly, already dragging us to the exit of the cafeteria.

“Natasha, I’m not sure that’s something you should be proud of,” I joked. We bust into laughter and started down the hall to the classroom where that exhibit had been set up.

James casually shrugged his arm over my shoulder as we entered the dungeon exhibit, a gesture I would normally have been delighted by, but today felt somehow heavy and possessive. I distracted myself by watching Natasha and Aleks. A little ahead, I noticed Natasha grab Aleks’s hand when she squealed in surprise at a skeleton jumping out at her. I caught Aleks’ soft gaze directed toward their intwined hands and the small smile of pleasure that briefly flashed across his face. I would have to remember to report my findings to Natasha, lest she accuse me of being derelict in my best friend duties.

James noticed the direction of my gaze, “Would you stop worrying about everyone else for a change and just enjoy yourself?” He chastised with a smile. I gave a small laugh and leaned into him further as we followed the twisting path of the exhibit.

“I’m sorry I can’t help it, what would you have me focus my attention on?” I teased, staring up at him through my thick, black lashes, in a poor attempt at flirting. I still hadn’t made up my mind about James, it seemed I always had more questions for him than I ever did answers, but maybe everyone was right. I should relax and appreciate the attention of an honestly good guy, god knows those are hard to find.

He responded with a seductive smile, leaning over to whisper in my ear in a smooth, low voice, “I can think of a few things.” I smiled and a bright red blush crept up my skin. I let my wavy brown hair cascade around my face, hiding my embarrassment.

“Oh, Kristin, I left my wallet in the car, but I really want to buy a picture of all of us here tonight, can you run back and get it?” Natasha pleaded. I jumped untangling myself from James, not realizing she had turned back for us.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be right back,” I answered, trying not to look so guilty.

“I can go with you,” James offered, looking a little too pleased with himself.

“Thank you, but I’ll be alright, keep enjoying the exhibits, I’ll meet back up with you guys in just a few minutes,” I quickly waved off his offer, before turning and weaving my way back out of the exhibit to the front of the school. I was thankful for the chance to get some air and organize my very confused and messy thoughts. It was easy to brush off my interactions with James to Natasha and Katy, but another thing entirely when he acted as he did tonight. I found myself unable to control my heart rate and my limbs felt shaky and unsteady. I reached the school’s entrance quickly, without even noticing it, as I was wrapped in my thoughts. James had something going on with his dad and was clearly hitting on me, but as of yet, I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Ryder had a sad past and was just starting to resemble a human being, but he still irritated me with his superior attitude and unwillingness to associate with anyone, not to mention the strange drama playing out between him and James. That was definitely something I had to get to the bottom of. I hadn’t seen my masked hero since my birthday, I was surprised to find I actually missed him and still burned with curiosity about who he was and what he was doing and how he was always saving me, yet another mystery that needed solving. Natasha and Aleks’s relationship also seemed to be heading in a good direction; I wonder how I can help shove that in the right direction for her? The whirlwind taking place inside my mind was quickly making me dizzy and setting me on the brink of panic. I was holding too may loose ends of ropes and didn’t have nearly enough to tie any firm knots.

With so many thoughts on my mind, it didn’t even occur to me to look for cars as I crossed the street to get to Natasha’s Prius, my goal was in sight and I charged after it, foolhardy. Headlights speeding around the corner of the dark, ill-lit road in front of the school blinded me then. I froze and tensed as the speeding car headed right for me. My eyes squeezed shut and braced for impact. A great force slammed into me suddenly, at first, I thought it was the car, but it came from behind me, not my side. All logical thought quickly fled after that. My head slammed into something hard and the breath was knocked from my lungs. I peeled my eyes open in time to see the car speed away down the road, burning rubber in its wake. I realized I was lying on the opposite side of the road in the wet grass, a heavy weight on top of me.

“Are you alright?” A figure asked, from above me. I understood now. Someone pushed me out of the way. And not just someone. I knew that voice, it was the familiar worried voice that always found me when I was in danger. The figure was pinning me to the ground, saving my life for a third time.

“Oh, never better,” I joked, not managing an effective sarcastic voice. My head was splitting, I could barely think through the pain. The figure flashed a bright smile. That was all I could see through the black spots dancing on my eyes.

“Yes, I can see, so I guess you have no need for my assistance then?” He teased lightly.

“Don’t be an ass,” I breathed, attempting to scowl. The blackness was converging on my vision; I couldn’t see even a glimpse of my hero anymore. I heard him chuckle softly. How disappointing, the first time he is close enough to look at and I can’t even get my eyes to work properly.

“You hit your head pretty hard,” The figure said, his musical voice colored with worry now. Cold fingers pressed lightly on my forehead and I gasped as the pain knocked me breathless. “Very hard,” he amended in a tight voice. His cold, muscular arms slid under me, hoisting me up as if I weighed nothing. I sighed and leaned my head against his shoulder.

“Thank you,” I muttered under my breath. Then, for the second time that year, my world faded away into a peaceful darkness…

#writing #writers on tumblr #spilled writing #excerpt from a book I'll never write #excerpt from a story i'll never write #excerpt from a book i'll never finish #excerpts from my life #shortstory #short fiction #spilledink #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled poetry #literature #lit #book #bookblr #intotheshadows

[bts-bringthescenarios]

Genre: fluff, hints of angst, hints of crack. Pairing: [romantic] female reader + bts!maknae line Contents & Warnings: multiple career!reader, physical contact, swear words, mention of mental health issues.

*** Park Jimin

It had all started with BTS’ increasing concern over Jimin. He seemed to be getting more and more anxious with time. He was such a perfectionist he couldn’t do anything without feeling an intense sense of responsibility: he practiced all the time, he was constantly dieting, he recorded everything countless times until he felt it was close to perfect. If he didn’t achieve the results he strived for, he would become stressed and testy. 

One night, Jimin stayed at the BigHit dance practice rooms until very late, going over the same choreography until he felt he had mastered it completely. The trouble was the whole band had spent the entire day practicing, and they were worried Jimin might injure himself if he kept pushing himself so far. So this time they decided to ambush him. 

“Okay, music out. This has to stop,” Jin barged in. 

“What are you doing? I’m still not confident with the final step sequence!” Jimin protested weakly. Still, he sat down on the ground. He was drenched in sweat and his hands were shaking slightly. 

“Then you’ll have to live with the uncertainty,” Hoseok said as he kneeled over Jimin, handing him a bottle of sport beverage. 

“You need to rest. Right now,” Taehyung commanded as he sat next to Jimin, eyeing him full of concern. 

Jimin downed the bottle, realizing he hadn’t had supper yet, and his lunch had consisted of an apple. He tried to persuade himself that it was best for him to keep practicing, but maybe his brothers were right. He needed to stop. 

The next morning they all gathered together with their manager to talk to Jimin about not overexerting himself, and they unanimously decided that he needed to find a new occupation beside the idol life, some way to blow off steam and distract him. They wanted to make sure that his new hobby was laid back, messy and improvisational, so that Jimin could not redirect his perfectionism toward a new activity and he could focus on simply doing whatever he felt like. 

That was how BigHit enrolled Jimin in a Clay Sculpting workshop. Horrified, he tried to persuade them to transfer him to any other kind of class: cooking, bartending, painting, expressionist dancing, anything, but BTS and BigHit knew him well, and they knew that anything that meant creating a product or involved dancing would only make things worse. So he began attending the classes, twice a week for two hours. He was not allowed to bring any unfinished projects home, and he had to submit his work every week. This forced him to just turn in whatever he had, regardless of his expectations. 

That was how he had met you. 

“Okay, (Y/N). Could you please tell us about your piece?” the teacher asked kindly, holding up a bulbous shape so that the rest of the class could see it. 

“Well, it was supposed to be a carriage, but looking at it now I’m tempted to just think of it as ‘abstract art’” you scoffed. “I guess I’ll have to name it something pretentious or whatever.”

Everyone laughed, and Jimin felt much more at ease at the fact that the frog that he had been working on looked like a deformed hut with eyes. 

At the end of the class, Jimin stepped out of the men’s room, ready to leave, when he overheard a conversation happening in the next room. 

“Ugh, I wish they’d let us bring our phones in! No one’s going to believe me,” someone complained. 

“No phones allowed, that’s true, but there are no rules over bringing a picture and asking him to sign it. I bet I could sell it for big bucks,” another voice added.

Jimin exhaled silently, deciding to remain hidden until everyone else was gone. He hoped they’d leave soon, Jungkook was picking him up and he was probably waiting in the parking lot already. 

“Oh! Let’s ask him next week, (Y/N)!”

“No.” Your voice, firm and clear, resonated in the quiet room, pulling Jimin out of his thoughts. He pressed his ear to the door. “Look, you can do whatever you want, but I’m not going to be a part of this.” 

“A part of what?” a man inquired. 

“Can you imagine what it must be like?” you countered calmly. “Can you imagine being unable to join a friggin’ clay sculpture class without people harassing you all the time?”

“It’s just an autograph, (Y/N). Jeez,” the same man jeered.

“Yeah, I bet everyone thinks that. And then everyone demands one. All day. Every day.” 

A low murmur broke after your words, and Jimin couldn’t hear anything else. Just in case he walked back into the men’s room and remained there until he was positive the classroom was empty. 

During the weekend, Jimin found himself thinking about you frequently. He appreciated you standing up for him with that group of people, since he knew it couldn’t have been easy to just go ahead and confront the majority. Besides, there was something very genuine about you, like the way you had mocked your own sculpture. Even the way you spoke felt honest and upfront. He wondered if there’d be a way to talk to you during class. 

As it turned out, one of your friends was on vacation and there was a free spot on your table when Jimin walked in. That wasn’t the only good news. It seemed that your words had an impact on the rest of the group, because no one walked to him requesting an autograph or a picture. 

Jimin sat next to you slowly, attempting to play it cool, like he’d chosen that seat because whatever. The way his eyes looked away from you bashfully contradicted that notion.

“Hi,” you greeted him smilingly as you put on your apron. 

“Hi,” he replied softly. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by being overbearing, so you began preparing the materials in silence. Jimin watched you awkwardly for a second, then he began preparing his things too. He tried to make conversation. “Um… any idea what you’re going to do today?” 

“Well, I’ll try to do a lotus flower, ‘try’ being the operative word.” 

“I think your carriage last week was pretty good,” Jimin chortled. 

“Oh, it’s not a carriage anymore. I’m calling it ‘The Burden of Constantly Failing Clay Class’. It’s an abstract piece,” you joked, and Jimin burst into quiet laughter. 

Jimin had a lot of fun with you during the entire class, and he soon discovered that when he didn’t take himself so seriously he actually enjoyed himself immensely. He played with the clay, experiencing the feeling of its texture under his fingers, and shaped up a bird with its wings wide open. Your lotus flower was looking pretty good too, and Jimin suggested you combine the two sculptures after painting them next class. 

You walked into the classroom overly excited the next class, and so did Jimin. He had been looking forward to this all week. You worked together again, goofing around with the brushes and joking constantly. When you turned in your final project, the colors were bright and tacky, and it looked quite kitsch. It wasn’t even close to being perfect, but that somehow made you both feel better.

“Why are you taking this class, (Y/N)?” Jimin inquired as you both waited for the rest of your classmates to finish their work. 

“Well… I was struggling with negative thoughts, and I needed something to force me to focus on actually doing something regardless of the outcome,” you explained. You didn’t mean to overshare with him, but he looked genuinely interested in knowing and it just slipped out. Besides, you thought, being an idol meant everyone knew so much about him already, it was only fair to give him some personal information about yourself. 

“Really? So did I!” he exclaimed impulsively, then looked away, abashed. You smiled at him encouragingly, and he continued. “I was actually working myself too hard, and my brothers decided it was time for me to find a hobby.” 

Both of you kept talking until the class was over, and then continued your conversation while Jimin waited for Jungkook to pick him up in the car. 

The conversations and joint projects quickly became a routine. This caused a lot of gossip at first, but it died out as time passed and your relationship didn’t change. In truth, you both liked each other quite a lot, but were reticent of asking each other out for different reasons. You didn’t know whether Jimin could date or not, and you were scared you’d make him uncomfortable by asking him out. 

Jimin, on the other hand, was simply too shy to do it. Of course, he thought about it quite a lot, and he had formed plans to do it a hundred times, at least. He’d fantasized and daydreamed about it countless hours, perfecting it, but when the time came to act upon it, he systematically chickened out: he walked into the workshop determined to ask for your phone number, but as soon as the class was over he walked away empty handed.

His brothers began to lose patience. 

“For fuck’s sake, Jimin, just go and ask her for her phone number after class. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Tell her you want to send her memes or something,” Yoongi complained. 

“If you don’t do it yourself I’ll do it for you,” Jeongguk teased. 

“Okay, okay! I’ll do it tomorrow,” Jimin whined, trying to end the conversation.

“You make sure he does that, Jeongguk,” Yoongi added maliciously. 

Jimin eyed them suspiciously. Maybe Jeongguk really meant what he said. He would have to act on this soon if he wanted to avoid a catastrophe. 

Needless to say, Jimin was fidgety during the entire class, paying little attention to his clay project. It was supposed to be a mug, but he didn’t even shape it properly and it looked like some sort of tower. As the end of the class grew impendingly close, his palms began to sweat. 

“I can’t believe I even got the handle right,” you boasted, showing your mug to Jimin as you put your projects away to dry so that they could be painted next class. “I mean, if I keep this up you’ll be keeping my best work yet.” 

Jimin looked up in alarm, and realization dawned on him. You had promised to give each other the finished mugs last class, but he’d been so caught up with asking you for your number he completely forgot. He looked down at his mug, beginning to despair. He wasn’t sure the thing could even hold any liquid inside it. 

As your classmates slowly filed out of the class, Jimin said goodbye quickly, excusing himself by going to the toilet. You felt uneasy. He’d acted weird today. He’d barely talked, his mug looked like a pepper mill and he stumbled over words the whole time. Was something wrong? Should you stay and ask him? You decided it was best to leave, perhaps he needed time alone. 

Feeling a little down, you walked out of the building and a chilly breeze tousled your hair, making you shiver. You remembered you left your scarf in the classroom, so you went back to get it. When you opened the door you found Jimin alone, placing his clay mug inside a cardboard box. His eyes darted up and he froze, turning crimson. 

“Hey,” you said quietly. “Er… what are you doing?”

Jimin straightened up, eyeing the box guiltily. 

“Nothing. I mean, I was just packing the mug.” 

“Why are you packing it?” you questioned dubiously. Then you noticed his backpack was open, and he’d made enough space to stuff the cardboard box inside it. “Wait. Were you going to take the mug home?”

“It just needs a few touch ups!” Jimin admitted, biting his lip as you stared at him. 

“Jimin, you’re supposed to let it go if it’s not perfect, remember?” you protested, your voice soft and understanding. “Are you having anxious thoughts again?”

“No, not at all. That’s not it.” 

“Then why are you so worried about it?”

“Because I forgot we were going to swap mugs!” he confessed. “My mind was elsewhere and I completely forgot, like an idiot. I want you to have something nice. I don’t want you keeping this— this—” he trailed off, glaring at the box. 

You were so touched by his words it took you a few seconds to react. 

You walked around the table to stand next to him and placed your hands over his shoulders, softly holding him in place as you fixed your eyes on his. 

“Jimin, I want you to understand something. I don’t care if the mug’s pretty or artsy or whatever. You know what I care about? The fact that you took the time and trouble to make it for me. That’s it. I’ve been watching you work on that mug, and I already love it. So put it back to dry, or so help me.”

You had meant for the playful threat to make him laugh, but instead Jimin remained still, his eyes burning with emotion. Of course you would have the perfect answer. Of course you would made him feel exactly right. As he pondered this, he discovered this was his chance to take the leap, and he was sure that he wanted to take it. 

Carefully evaluating your reaction, Jimin hesitantly lifted his hands to your back and pulled you just a fraction closer. The movement was enough for you to understand what he was trying to do. Your heart thumped loudly in your ears. You slid your hands up his neck gently, grazing your fingertips over his hair. 

As he held you in his arms, Jimin’s shyness faded away. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled your bodies closer together, so close you could taste his breath on your tongue. It lured you in, and for the briefest moment you touched his lips with yours. 

The sound of the elevator doors opening, followed by a series of footsteps in the hallway, had you pulling away from each other hastily. You had just enough time to collect yourselves before Jeongguk strolled in through the door. 

“Hey, what’s taking you so long? Class was over like fifteen minutes ago—” he stopped, his eyes darting from you to Jimin’s unmoving figures. 

“Oh,” he whispered as he understood what was going on. “You must be (Y/N).” 

Knowing that Jimin had talked to Jeongguk about you made your heart flutter. It had the opposite effect on Jimin, though. 

“We were just talking right now. Could you please wait for me in the car?” he snapped, indignation winning over the embarrassment. 

 “Okay,” Jeongguk replied and made to leave. Then he stopped in his tracks and turned around, a bit flustered. “I’m sorry, but I promised Yoongi-hyung I would check...” 

Jimin’s stomach dropped. Oh, no he wouldn’t. His eyes narrowed dangerously at his brother, unspoken threats festering behind them. Jeongguk seemed to reconsider for a second, but then he squared his shoulders and stared at you. 

“(Y/N), Jimin’s supposed to ask you for your phone number. You know, to send you memes and stuff.” 

Jimin learned there and then that it was not possible to die of shame, because if it were he would have dropped dead at that precise moment. He turned to look at your expression to measure the damage Jeongguk had done. For what felt like an eternity you appeared to be confused, your face scrunched up in concentration. Then, to his immense relief, the corners of your mouth quirked up into a wide grin.

“He was just getting to that before you walked in,” you affirmed happily, having realized that he had been so nervous during class because he’d been meaning to ask you out. 

“Oh. Okay. I’ll leave you to it, then,” Jeongguk mumbled, then turned around and walked out. 

None of you spoke until the elevator shut its doors with Jeongguk inside it. 

“So, would you like to take down my number?” you asked innocently, trying to break the ice. 

“I am… so sorry. I don’t even know how to begin to make up for what just happened. Memes...” he whispered to himself as he looked away, overcome with indignation. 

You beamed at him, trying not to laugh at his expression. When he gazed at you again, it knocked the air out of him. You were glowing: your eyes, your skin, your lips, everything seemed to have become even more beautiful. 

Jimin understood then that his chagrin was silly, because your feelings mirrored his own. He grinned at you and held your hands in his. 

“I could begin to make amends tomorrow night. Can I buy you dinner?” he asked, turning a light shade of pink. 

“Please,” you answered, and leaned in to kiss his cheek. 

***

Kim Taehyung

The other members didn’t mind it as much when someone from the BigHit team took their pets to the vet because it was unavoidable, but not Taehyung. Sometimes it couldn’t be helped, but he did the best he could to always be there for Yeontan when he needed his routine vaccinations or when he was ill. He would fuss and get stressed about it all the time, distrusting the vets, until another idol shared with him the number of her favorite vet in the city, who happened to have a home health service. 

That was how he had met you. Taehyung was immediately smitten with you since the first time you stepped on the dorm and all the members’ pets greeted you affectionately as if they’d known you forever. Even Yeontan was happily rubbing itself against your shins in demand of your attention before you had removed your coat. Oh yes, Taehyung had crushed on you instantly, and it wasn’t only because he found you very attractive, but also that you were humble, kind and easygoing. You greeted the boys warmly and set to work immediately, listening to all of their questions and lovingly stroking their pets as you checked them up. And what was even better, you treated them as normal people. 

When it was Yeontan’s turn to have his medical examination Taehyung lingered protectively around him, but he soon realized it was unnecessary: his pup was so comfortable with you he needn’t be worried. So instead he decided to watch you work, paying close attention to the way you frowned when you were listening to Tan’s heart through the stethoscope, or the graceful movements of your fingers as you checked inside his ears. You were so concentrated on Yeontan’s examination that you didn’t notice Taehyung gawking at you admiringly, nor how his mouth was hanging open during the entire check up. 

After suggesting to swap the food brand to make Yeontan gain a bit of weight and arranging to come in a few weeks for his routine vaccination, you asked Taehyung if he had any questions, still holding his pet in your arms as he licked your hand affectionately. 

“Is there a place where I can come see you?” he inquired dreamily, and taking into account your bewildered expression, he added, “you know, if I have any questions or if there’s an emergency.”

“Sure, you can come over to the clinic or just call me at any time,” you beamed at him as you handed him a business card with your address. 

Immediately after you left, Taehyung secured your card carefully in his wallet and made sure to write down your address in his phone as well. During the next week he tried to restrain himself from getting in touch with you, but he couldn’t help daydreaming about asking you out. He tried to content himself by looking forward to your next visit, but the more time passed, the harder it became for him to ignore the little card tucked in his wallet. 

Unable to resist any longer, Taehyung texted you pretending to have forgotten the brand of dog food you’d recommended. You wound up chatting for a while, where he sent you pictures of Yeontan and, of course, a really cute selfie with a wide, boxy smile and his pup in his arms. Then the following day he dropped by your veterinary clinic to purchase the dog food, and he later sent you a video of Yeontan eating his meal happily. Five days later he swung by again, explaining that someone had mysteriously thrown away Yeontan’s food so he needed to buy some more. 

During this whole time you had tried very hard to maintain a professional relationship. Honestly, you really tried. But how was it possible to keep a polite distance when he was so sweet and attentive? You tried to be strong and remain emotionally detached since the idea of getting romantically involved with a worldwide famous idol was scary to say the least, and besides, he surely met a lot of interesting women all the time in his industry. You thought he might get bored of talking to you, or he would eventually be too busy to keep it up. 

Well, that didn’t happen, not even when he left on a tour for two weeks. He texted you regularly, and despite beginning your daily conversations with a pretext, like Yeontan shivering while he slept or not being hungry, every single time he found a way to keep talking to you about something else, bombarding you with questions about your personal life and telling you funny stories of his daily routine being an idol. Eventually, Taehyung gathered up enough courage to ask you if you were dating someone. When you read that text, your hands were shaking with so much excitement that you nearly dropped your phone. That was the moment you finally accepted that you had utterly and completely messed up your plan to remain emotionally detached. 

Needless to say that when the time came for you to go back to the dorms and vaccinate Yeontan, both of you were giddy and excited. Taehyung was head over heels for you, and he promised himself he would ask you out today. He woke up extra early to shower, fix his hair and carefully select his outfit. He spent an entire thirty minutes deciding what perfume to wear, trying them all on the other members, and the last hour before your arrival he brushed his teeth three times. 

“So at what time is the hot vet coming?” Jeongguk inquired, a bit concerned after watching Taehyung rinse his mouth yet again. 

“Please don’t call her that. It only makes me more nervous to remember how beautiful she is,” Taehyung muttered, anxiously checking his phone again. 

“Take it easy, Taehyungie,” Jimin said as he patted his back soothingly. “You’ve been texting all the time for weeks now. I’m sure she’ll accept to go on a date with you.” 

When you finally rang the bell, Taehyung stood in front of the door for a second and took a deep breath to collect himself, energetically flattening his shirt with his hands to remove any wrinkles. And when he opened the door, you looked so pretty you knocked the air out of him and he forgot all the things he planned to say to play it cool. 

“(Y/N)! You look— I mean, I’m happy to see you again. Hi,” he said, picking up Yeontan from the ground and bringing him close to you so you could pet him. 

You were breathless, too. You noticed how handsome Taehyung looked, and for a second it seemed surreal to you that this man had been flirting with you this whole time. Were you absolutely sure he liked you? Maybe you had read too much into your relationship. You had refrained from asking your friends’ advice in the matter because you didn’t want to expose him, but now that you were insecure about his feelings you felt like you should have asked your best friend about her opinion, even if you didn’t tell her who it was you were texting with. 

As he closed the door, Taehyung debated with himself whether he should help you remove your coat or not, but before he knew it you were already placing it on the hanger. He scolded himself for being inattentive and decided to compensate by offering you something to drink, only to realize he had forgotten to boil water for tea. 

Luckily, Jimin walked in at that very moment and greeted you warmly, after which he said he had prepared some infusions and invited you to the living room. As you walked through the door with your back to both of them, Jimin gave Taehyung two thumbs up, silently mouthing ‘I got you covered’. 

The three of you sat down for a few minutes drinking tea and making small talk while Yeontan perched himself comfortably on your lap, after which Jimin excused himself and left Taehyung and you alone. For a second you were afraid you’d be too nervous to talk, but then you noticed Taehyung smiling affectionately at Tan, who had fallen asleep on top of you. Just by looking at him you felt a fuzzy warmth radiating inside you and spreading all over your body. 

“I’m glad he likes you so much,” he whispered, his eyes now on yours. 

“It definitely makes things easier for my job,” you replied, grinning as you softly rubbed behind Tan’s ears. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Taehyung interrupted, after which he got up and sat beside you, careful not to wake Yeontan. He thought for a moment, wondering why it was so relaxing for him to know Yeontan approved of you so completely. Perhaps it was because Tan was family, and Taehyung wanted him to like you because he liked you. He stretched his hand to stroke the sleeping pup, wondering how to correctly translate these feelings into words, when his fingers accidentally brushed against you. 

Taehyung’s hand froze in midair, hovering over your skin as he waited for you to react. Without a word, you lifted your arm slightly, and a small smile spread across Taehyung’s face as you pressed your arm to his palm. Encouraged by your advance, he wrapped his hand gently around your arm and let it slide softly up and down, simply enjoying the feeling until he entwined his fingers with yours. Then his other hand delicately lifted your chin as his thumb caressed your cheek. When you looked up, his face was so close to yours his breath ghosted across your lips. 

Taehyung fixed his eyes on yours, wordlessly asking for your permission. You closed your eyes and leaned in.

Yeontan abruptly jumped out of your lap and ran to meet Min Holly at the door. Right behind them Yoongi was silently but frantically gesturing for his own dog to follow him, having realized he was interrupting you in a rather... intimate moment. Yet when he noticed Yeontan had joined Holly, he looked up apologetically and awkwardly waved his hand at you. 

“Hi, doc,” he said, bending down to pick up Holly and Yeontan in his arms. “Sorry for the interruption. Let me just—”

Taehyung shut his eyes tightly, grinding his teeth together. You leaned away from him, fixing a stray lock of hair behind your ear to compose yourself. It was hopeless, though, since you were blushing furiously. 

“Hi, Min Yoongi. Is everything okay? I can examine Min Holly later,” you said, attempting to dissipate the awkwardness. 

“Maybe some other time,” he replied, giving Taehyung a meaningful look, and he shut the door behind him. 

You gazed back at Taehyung, who looked absolutely demoralized. However, you took it as a good sign that your fingers were still interlinked, and decided to place your free hand over his. 

“Are you alright, Taehyung?” you asked soothingly. 

Even though he was brutally disappointed by how your first kiss had turned out, the way his name sounded in your voice made him feel immediately better. He realized you must have been dissatisfied by this whole ordeal too. Taehyung decided to make the best out of the situation and actually continue with the plan he had originally outlined, where he asked you out first and kissed you second. 

Taking a deep breath, Taehyung fixed you with a serious, intense expression. When he saw your encouraging smile and felt the warmth of your hands wrapping his, the words effortlessly slipped out of his mouth. 

“(Y/N), I really like you. Would you go out on a date with me?”

You beamed at him and nodded, nudging his hand. 

“Great,” he grinned. He stood up and pulled you up with him, biting his lips as he drank in your excited smile, then he raised an eyebrow. “Are you free right now?”

Yeontan’s vaccination could wait another week.

***

Jeon Jeongguk

“(Y/N)! I’ll cover you!” Jeongguk yelled, his headset lopsided, as he hammered his fingers against the joysticks. Despite your efforts, you were losing miserably in this game of Overwatch. When you were finally brought down by your enemies, Jeongguk exhaled loudly and slumped against the back of the couch, dropping the Switch beside him. He could hear your sigh echoing from the headset. 

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t see Hanzo on time, I was distracted,” he apologized angrily. 

“Don’t be silly, if I had better aim we wouldn’t have lost,” you answered back in your own house as you opened a bag of chips and began munching them down in frustration. 

“What are you eating?” 

“Barbeque chips,” you said in a muffled voice. 

“I wish you were here,” he groaned unhappily. 

“You’re only saying that because you didn’t think of getting your own chips,” you countered. 

“No, I mean it,” he laughed, his good mood disappearing once he noticed it was getting late. “I have to go. I’ll be back home on Saturday. Will you drop by the dorms for supper?”

“Of course,” you chimed, thrilled to know you’d see Jeongguk soon. “I get out of work at seven, I’ll go after that.”

“I’ll get you something tasty.” 

The tour had lasted forever, and even though you’d joined Jeongguk in Europe for two weeks during your vacation, it still felt like the longest time ever. As best friends since childhood you had always been supportive of each other: you knew exactly how to make Jeongguk laugh, and he knew exactly how to make you feel better. Jeongguk was convinced that he wouldn’t be the man he was if it weren’t for you, which was why he was so intent on protecting your friendship at all costs from anything that might jeopardize it, even his own feelings. 

This task, however, was becoming increasingly difficult to accomplish. During your visit to Europe he’d been this close to ruining everything by kissing you several times. He found it particularly hard to control himself when he saw you waiting for him backstage with your arms open after a show, or when you confided in him with tears in your eyes how much you were struggling with your exams. He wanted to be with you so much it almost overwhelmed the terror he felt about losing you. 

You, on the other hand, were not doing much better. You tried seeing other people, but it never lasted longer than a date or two. At first you thought you weren’t in the mood for a relationship, but you eventually discovered that you were constantly comparing your dates to the time you spent with Jeongguk: ‘I’d rather be playing something with Jeongguk’, or ‘Jeongguk would love this place’, or ‘I can’t wait to tell this joke to Jeongguk’. Your friends, tired of hearing you talk about him all the time, already knew what was going on before you reluctantly accepted that you were in love with him. After all, it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. 

You had travelled to Europe with the purpose of confessing your feelings to him, but when the time came you chickened out. Besides, Jeongguk was always so tired and busy you didn’t have the heart to bring it up. 

On Saturday afternoon, Namjoon walked into Jeongguk’s room and sat on the bed as the maknae unpacked his bags hastily. 

“We only just got home. Why don’t you unpack tomorrow?” Namjoon inquired, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand. 

“(Y/N) is coming over and I want everything to look normal.”

“Oh right, I forget (Y/N) freaks out when confronted with packed luggage,” Namjoon replied sarcastically. 

“I’m not doing it because it would upset her,” Jeongguk answered testily, “I just want her to see that my room is tidy and I have my life together.” 

“I’m sorry, Jeongguk, but I’m not following,” Namjoon insisted innocently. In reality, he knew full well about Jeongguk’s feelings for you. He had tried to broach the topic several times, but Jeongguk had shut himself in like a clam everytime. Namjoon knew Jeongguk was being stupidly stubborn about this, so he hadn’t given up on the subject. 

Jeongguk didn’t answer at first. He just kept putting the dirty laundry in the hamper and folding his clean clothes back in the closet. When he was done, he suddenly felt helpless. He sat on the bed next to his hyung and hung his head in his hands. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he mumbled. 

“I know what you’re doing,” Namjoon explained, patting his brother’s back softly, “you’re evading yourself.” 

“Hyung, she is the most important person in the world to me,” Jeongguk mumbled, twisting his fingers in his hair. “What if I fuck it up?”

“That’s a possibility,” Namjoon conceded, “But what if you don’t?”

Jeongguk pondered for a while, allowing the fantasies he’d been constantly repressing to overwhelm him. He saw you smiling as you walked holding hands. He saw you kissing him, your arms wrapped around him. He saw himself pulling your top off, his lips tracing the curve of your neck…

“Listen, you don’t have to figure it out tonight,” Namjoon hinted, interrupting Jeongguk’s reverie, “but I think you should give yourself a chance. She won’t toss you away if she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, and if she does feel the same way…” 

“Thanks, hyung,” he cut him short, and smiled apologetically at Namjoon. He was grateful for his advice, but he wanted some time on his own to reflect. Namjoon knew when Jeongguk had enough, so he let it rest. 

“I need to think about this. I’ll go have a shower,” Jeongguk stated as he got up purposefully.

In preparation for the night, Jeongguk had placed an order for Chinese takeout and shuffled around the house, tidying up and all in all getting into the other member’s nerves. He was trying really hard not to anticipate the possibility of confessing his feelings, so he kept himself busy until the bell rang. 

The moment Jeongguk opened the door, you pounced at him and hugged him so tightly you were afraid his ribs would crack. Jeongguk lifted you from the ground and spun you around, laughing loudly and forgetting all about his anxieties. You walked together to his room, chatting excitedly and bumping into each other like drunks, just for the pleasure of being close enough to actually touch each other. No more depending on texting and video calls, at least for a while. 

“I’m warning you: I have a lot to tell you about college drama, so you better be ready to stay up all night,” you exclaimed as you sat on top of his bed with your legs crossed. He shut the door and sat opposite to you, grinning widely. 

“Are you kidding me? You better be ready for all the stuff I have to tell you about the tour. If I catch you dozing off I won’t be forgiving.” 

For a long time you both chatted excitedly, and as the exhilaration gradually wore off the conversation became deeper, more emotional. You talked about family issues, about feelings of inadequacy in social situations and about stress from working and studying, until the conversation eventually drifted to a more sensitive topic for your relationship.

“So…” Jeongguk began, unable to resist the morbid curiosity he felt. “Have you been dating anyone?”

Your cheeks flared up and you looked down, suddenly very focused on pulling a loose thread from the bed cover. Jeongguk held his breath.

“No,” you admitted. Jeongguk exhaled in relief. “And you?”

“Nope.” 

“Why not?” you demanded, looking up again. “I bet you meet a lot of interesting people all the time.”

“I do meet a lot of interesting people. I just don’t want to date them,” he answered defensively. 

Why did he have to make things more difficult for you? Maybe if he was dating someone you’d be able to move on. Then again, maybe not. 

“I don’t get you, Jeongguk,” you protested, your cooped up fears and frustration bubbling to the surface. “You have the chance to go on dates with so many cool people, but you decide not to?”

“And what about you?” he fired back. “What about your classmates in college?” 

“What about them?” you challenged. 

“I bet they’re so smart, you could have intellectual debates or whatever—” he began, too aggravated to restrain himself. 

“What on Earth are you talking about?” you hissed, feeling increasingly incensed.

“I know some of them have asked you out!” 

“So?”

“Well, don’t they count as interesting people to date?” 

“I don’t want to date them!” 

“Why the hell not?!” 

“Because I’m in love with you, you idiot!” you snapped, out of control. 

Jeongguk’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. You panted for a few seconds, your anger sizzling until a feeling of ice cold mortification took over you. 

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. What had you done? 

“You’re in love with me?” Jeongguk whispered.

“I— I just...” you babbled, panicking. You weren’t ready for this discussion. You weren’t planning on this. “I’m sorry, Jeongguk, I can’t right now, I— I think I need to leave.” 

You jumped up and pulled the door open, but Jeongguk caught your hand and turned you around before you could walk out. 

“Don’t go,” he begged. You tried to look away, but he cupped your face in his hands. He held you so softly, so caringly that you looked back into his eyes despite your chagrin. And when you read the expression on his face, you stopped resisting.

Jeongguk’s eyes bore into yours, his lips parted, and it felt like you were looking at each other for the first time in your lives. His thumb grazed against your cheekbone, and you both remained still and quiet for what felt like an eternity. You raised your hand and caressed his temple, sinking your fingers in his hair. Jeongguk closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the feeling of your touch. Then he huddled closer to you and lifted your chin, lowering his head slowly to yours so that your lips were level. 

You didn’t hear the footsteps on the carpet. Jimin turned around the corner of the corridor, carrying a bag of Chinese takeout in his arms. Jeongguk and you were wound tightly in an embrace, your faces so close to each other that Jimin knew this was no friendly hug.

As soon as he realized what was going on Jimin tried to walk away quietly before you noticed him. However, as he attempted to tiptoe backward the paper bag crackled in his arms. The sound of of it broke the spell, and Jeongguk and you jumped away from each other. You stared at Jimin dumbfoundedly, too confused and surprised to feel embarrassed yet. 

“Hi (Y/N),” Jimin’s voice was strained. “Um, Jeongguk... I brought you the takeout you ordered.” 

The three of you looked at the bag, then back at each other, like idiots. Jimin clumsily stepped forward and handed Jeongguk the takeout.

“Thanks,” Jeongguk mumbled. 

Jimin stepped back awkwardly, biting his lip. Then he squared his shoulders and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Look, I’m sorry I interrupted, and I know I shouldn’t say this right now but I’m really glad you both got over yourselves and this is finally happening,” he blurted out, articulating every word so fast it almost made you dizzy. "Okay, bye!" 

Jimin turned around and strode away at an inhuman speed. 

For a few seconds, neither of you said a word. Then Jeongguk gestured you to go into his room. Once you were both inside, he locked the door, placed the bag away and turned to face you, a determined expression on his face. Now that it was out in the open, he needed to say the words, and he needed you to hear him say them. 

“(Y/N), I love you. I always have. I don’t want to date anyone else, only you.”

Jeongguk’s voice was clear and steady, and his eyes burned with intensity as he spoke. It made you feel like laughing and crying at the same time. 

“Jimin’s right, we’ve been so stupid,” you giggled bashfully, and took a step closer to him. Jeongguk pulled you to his chest and began planting soft kisses on the fringe of your hair, on your eyebrows, on the bridge of your nose. You pulled away just an inch to look him in the eyes. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, it’s just—”

“I know,” Jeongguk said, and he kissed you in a very non-platonic way.

#bts #bts scenarios #bts reactions #maknae line #jeon jeongguk #jungkook #park jimin #jimin #kim taehyung #v

[evoedbd]

Forevers

Summery:  Kya had long since accepted that she was in love with a scarred soul. That she would go to the ends of the world to see Helena smile. To be the reason. The depth of her dedication was no longer a tidal wave, or rather, Kya was no longer beneath the crest of that wave. She rode it, above its overwhelming power and yet helpless to alter its course. A gentle awakening where some realizations are made between snuggles. Purely fluff. ************** The morning was lazy. Sunlight spilled through the windows, dancing across the tangled sheets of their bed. Helena was the first to wake, for once not roused by nightmares. She felt light, bathing in a cautious happiness as her arm wrapped a little tighter around the woman snuggled into her side. Kya was a mess, as usual. Her dark hair was tangled and frizzy in its specific places, falling over her sweetly flushed face. Her cheek swelled, with half of her face smooshed against Helena’s breast. A minuscule pile of drool gathered at the corner of Kya’s lip, trickling down onto Helena’s naked skin. The American’s cheek was sweaty, overheated from being pressed against Helena’s skin all night. The shorter woman’s curves tucked perfectly into Helena’s body, pressed so tightly that Helena could feel the dampness of sweat down her entire left side. It was part of her magic, that she was always warm. Kya too was a warm person, meaning that the thin layers of sweat where they touched for hours on end were not uncommon. There was a blissfulness, waking in such a state. Reminded that these small discomforts existed because the love of her life was snuggling into her. That they were safe. Kya had always been a cuddler, even when Helena had tried to reject her. Despite sheets between them like barriers, somehow Helena had always woken with the girl snuggled up to her. Mornings in the castle when Helena had been forced to untangle without waking the stubborn girl had been the hardest fight of her life. Once their relationship had evolved into romance, Kya’s snuggling had been more welcomed. Still, that had been clothed to a degree. Now, Helena felt safe enough to shed all her attire. Kya always matched her, touched by the intimacy. Thus, two space heaters had formed a cuddle puddle. “Stop thinking so hard.” Kya’s sleepy voice was muffled by Helena’s flesh. At that, the Sorceress blinked, reaching out in an effort to untangle Kya’s hair. Helena always cradled Kya’s head to her chest, holding her lover close. Due to her unsettled dreams, Helena often clenched her fist in her sleep, or tangled her fingers in Kya’s hair for comfort. “Forgive me. I do not mean to concern you, my love.” Helena’s voice was equally as soft, as if any louder would disturb the blanket of lazy peace surrounding them. Slender fingers began to tuck raven locks behind Kya’s ear, always lingering in the affectionate touch. There was an absent mindedness to Helena’s actions, as if she were stepping through the routine as her mind wondered. Kya quietly pressed her lips to Helena’s skin, offering the gesture with the same sleepy look of awe she had every morning she woke beside her lover. “I wasn’t looking for an apology, Helena.” “So you remind me every time I offer one.” The Sorceress chuckled. The sound was hollow, an attempt to convince the world that she was perfectly fine in her moment of bliss. However, doubts began to creep. Memories of the castle nipping at the heels of sweet dreams and loving kisses. “And I’ll do it every day until I die. As your girl, I take my role very seriously.   I must constantly remind you how fantastically wonderful you are, even if you can’t see it.” Kya declared in a mock serious tone. She meant every word, that was evident, yet there was an underlying playfulness that drew Helena in. Kya had a way of disarming the Sorceress without overwhelming her entirely. Kya could be serious, so serious that Helena’s mind couldn’t roam beyond the woman’s words. Kya could become her existence, offering the love she had never experienced before. Other times, Kya could deliver her reassurances in such a casual way that Helena might have missed them if she didn’t hang on every sound to leave the American’s mouth. It perplexed her how these deep and serious confessions could be delivered with such a casual acceptance. Kya had long since accepted that she was in love with a scarred soul. That she would go to the ends of the world to see Helena smile. To be the reason. The depth of her dedication was no longer a tidal wave, or rather, Kya was no longer beneath the crest of that wave. She rode it, above its overwhelming power and yet helpless to alter its course. “You are beautiful, Helena. All of you.” Kya declared, her playfulness falling away as she propped herself up on a single arm. Her stone coloured eyes roamed over the expanse of Helena’s body, taking in the luscious curves and battle forged muscle. Even scarred, Helena was the most perfect woman that Kya had ever laid eyes on. Real with her imperfections, yet almost ethereal with her radiance in the morning light. The mix of powerful and vulnerable was intoxicating, pulling Kya closer even when there was no space between them. “Your hair is like moonlight. Its so soft. Whenever you lean close, it tickles my face, hides me from the world so I can only see your eyes.” Kya began, reaching out to take some of the strands between her fingers. She carefully brought the ends to Helena’s face, delicately using the platinum locks as a brush across the Mage’s features. It tickled, that was obvious by the way Helena’s nose crinkled and her brows twitched. Despite that, a soft smile began to form and quiet chuckles escaped, indulging her otherworldly lover’s strange behaviour. Kya kept her strokes slow, taking time to memorise every single detail of the masterpiece that was Helena’s face. “Your eyes are so...” Kya trailed off, seemingly lost in the Mage’s gaze. Helena watched Kya’s throat bob, swallowing down her own emotions as Kya finally found her voice. “Wow... I mean, they can be more blue than a sapphire, or the sea. Then they can go black when you’re closer to your more primal magic. When you’re protecting me. It’s like, your own way of telling the world nobody is going to hurt your family. Your magic doesn’t scare me, Helena, because I know you. Its a part of you, and you would never want to use it to hurt me.” Once again, Kya allowed her words to trail off, her lips curled into a somewhat coy smile, tinged with flirtatious mischief as if she were about to say something meant only for Helena’s ears. “You know, I totally had a thing for Willow as a teen so... I actually find your magic eyes really sexy. Different, but, well you know..? Exotic?” Kya’s words earned a soft gasp from Helena. The Sorceress opened her mouth to speak, yet no sound could escape but a soft squeak. Meek as a mouse with its voice stolen by the sweetest kiss of magic and wonder. Could she ever fully explain how deeply such a simple gesture rendered her defenceless? How each compliment was an infusion of love that left her ready to burst? How had she found a woman so perfect and yet so insane? A woman who could see tenderness in dangerous spells. Who could look at the element of destruction itself and think it beautiful? Sexy? Desirable in a partner? “Your lips are so soft they should be illegal. Your kisses always make me feel loved.” Kya continued to leave Helena speechless, leaning down to lock her lips with the blushing Sorceress’. Helena’s response was instant, pressing into the gesture as if seeking more. The kiss was gentle, simple, given both women were too busy smiling, yet the message was delivered. Kya tenderly broke away, shifting to pepper chaste kisses over Helena’s face. A playful nip to the chin earned a gasp, whereas a peck on the nose earned a chuckle. Each kiss was a spark, leaving Helena’s skin tingling in its wake. The Sorceress missed the feeling of Kya’s lips, even as the next kiss was delivered. It was impossible, to long so desperately for something already in her grasp. Addiction and craving paled in comparison to the raw need simmering in Helena’s veins. “Kya...” Helena tried to speak, her voice catching in her throat. The need was stronger than anything Helena had known. It was not just for the carnal pleasures she had been exposed to. It was for the smell of Kya’s hair. The annoying ways it tickled her nose in the night, or tangled around her fingers. It was for the sweat between their bodies, the discomfort when her arm went numb from Kya’s weight over it. For the times they disagreed, for their awkward fumbles and differences. For the agony that being parted caused. Helena craved everything of the woman beside her, positive and negative alike. Kya’s mere existence was her addiction... but how could she even put that into words? “Oh no. If I am being this gay, I am going all out. I’m not half assing my big, loving confessions.” Kya interrupted, brows lowering in mock disapproval as she pouted. Helena stared, utterly confounded at being at a loss for words. It was adorable, the way Helena’s lips parted and her cheeks flushed. It was moments like these where her true vulnerability came to light. Helena was powerful, composed and a few years older than Kya. Yet, for her years, she was almost like a teenager learning her womanly body when it came to gentle moments like these. Where Kya could find something else to admire that Helena herself seemed so unable to understand. In love, Kya was the guide, leading Helena through the highs and lows. The Sorceress took several moments to process, simply allowing Kya to continue brushing her face. Then, she smiled, a silent surrender more radiant than the sun. “I love your neck. Its warm and always smells like you. Its safe. Every night I want to come home and snuggle. Just breathe you in. Cuddle the woman of my dreams.” Kya continued, shifting to rest her nose against Helena’s throat. The Sorceress brought her arms around Kya, taking a moment to embrace the girl before she pulled Kya over her chest, between the brackets of long legs. At this, Kya’s breath caught, leaving her trembling above Helena. “-Holy shit.-“ Kya interned, processing her alarm. She could feel the warmth of her Mage’s core pressed so closely just below her belly. Kya was hyperaware of every smoother texture that betrayed scars along with the prickles of regrowing hair. She felt the ripple of muscles that had been forged by practicality, thighs tensing around her hips as Helena processed the moment. A reflex reaction to having someone laying over her. “-Holy Shit!-“ Kya internally cheered, mentally repeating the words before falling into wordless gushing. This was huge! A pure moment of trust from the Sorceress that blew Kya��s mind and heart to pieces. Shards of happiness cut her to the bone, filling her with such giddiness that she couldn’t help but press a loving kiss to the hammering pulse beneath her lips before leaning back enough to gaze down at Helena. “-Wow. Yep. I like this. Best view in the world.-“ Kya concluded. She had been like this with other people, yet never had she anticipated the intimacy she would feel when it was Helena. Breathtakingly gorgeous Helena, with chaotic morning hair and sleep filled eyes, touched with the softest curious amusement and quiet content. Her eyes promised seduction and love along with the disgustingly domestic feelings all wrapped into a jumbled mess of bliss.    What was best was that there was no fear in those sapphire depths. Her lips curled into a tender smile, shyly inviting Kya’s into a gentle kiss. One became more, long and drawn out between them as Helena’s arms tightened around Kya’s body, hands leisurely roaming up and down the American’s unmarred back. “-I can’t believe we’ve come this far. She’s so amazing. I love her!-“ Helena sat up, taking Kya with her. Their breasts pressed together, the curves of their bodies melting into each other. Beating heart to beating heart. Kya surrendered to her racing pulse, offering her an ecstatic smile. She rested on her knees, aiming to take her weight off of Helena despite their closeness. One of Kya’s arms wrapped around Helena’s shoulders, earning the softest hum of approval as the Sorceress returned the embrace with tender yet firm arms wrapped around The American’s waist. Helena’s scent was home, enough to lure Kya towards peaceful dreams. Contentment was heavy in her limbs, drawing her eyes closed as she continued to breath. For the sleepiness she felt, an equally powerful spark drove her on, reminding Kya that the task was incomplete. She had yet to map Helena’s body. Yet to give her cheesy list. To complete her daily devotions. Cautiously, her other hand ran down Helena’s neck, trailing down until Kya’s palm pressed over her heart. Words were not needed, not when Kya could feel Helena’s heart leaping to greet her. Attempting to burst through the Mage’s chest. “Your heart is so strong. Even as everything was crushed and torn from you, you held your kindness. Like a treasure hidden away, a light in that dark place you were left. Every time I feel your heartbeat I remember how you fought for me. How even when you wanted to die, you chose to live because you promised me forever.” Kya had to take a moment, struck by the seriousness of her words. She had meant for this to be light, to just love Helena, yet the weight of her words suddenly rested on her shoulders. This was more than love. It was more than just enjoying the moment or fantasising about forever. It was beyond simply dating. The way Kya felt was commitment. The desire for their forever. Not just fanciful words and longing, but a legal forever. A show to all the world that Helena Klein was HERS. That SHE was Helena Klein’s. “-I don’t want to wait for forever. I want now.-“ The realisation led to a flood of words. “Helena, if waiting for forever means I miss the now, then why should we keep saying forever? I want to be with you. I want to see how many years it takes for your hair to go from moonlight to white. I want to be the first to notice every new grey hair, or wrinkle. I want to become that annoying old couple that shouts to one another. Every now I will have until the day I die, I want you to have,” “My love-“ Helena began, only to have Kya’s rambling continue. “And we have so much to work out, but I couldn’t hold that in anymore. I don’t know if marriage and kids is our thing, but I lo-“ This time, Helena was the one to intervene, pressing forwards to seal her lips over Kya’s. The dark haired woman let out a muffled sound of alarm. Her body reacted before her brain could catch up, leaning into the Sorceress. It took Kya a few moments before she settled, surrendering to her love’s guidance with a content sigh. Helena responded with a hum of her own, smiling into the kiss as her hands roamed along Kya’s spine. Her fingers sought out every bump, circling each bone gently before climbing higher. The touch was rather slow, calm despite the emotions packed into their kiss. One of Helena’s hands massaged with firm fingertips, seeking out every tension in Kya’s back. The other was light fingernails, scratching the most beautiful patterns into Kya’s flesh that left her tingling. “Kya...” Helena murmured, pulling away from Kya. The smaller woman made a soft sound of disappointment, whining a little at the loss. With the kiss broken, sense came rushing back. The world was no longer a haze of pearlescent hair and warmth. Kya could make out the seriousness in Helena’s sapphire eyes, mixing with the traces of content happiness that lingered from waking. The Mage’s subtly swollen lips were curled into an almost shy smile, softened by her lack of dark lipgloss. She felt the soft hairs at the base of Helena’s head, tickling her fingers as she clung to her lover. It was so tempting, to pull Helena back and relish in the moment. To forget the world and time in favour of pure bliss and endless love. Instead, Kya swallowed, waiting for the Sorceress to catch her breath. “What moments I have in this life are yours, Kya. We are walking this path together, even if we do not know the road ahead. Of that, I have no doubts. No regrets.” “Yeah?” Kya questioned in an awestruck tone, pulling away enough to inspect Helena’s face. “You’d agree to marry me?” She breathed in absolute amazement. In a single moment, all her thoughts latched onto the idea of their wedding. How would Helena look in a flowing white gown? That line of thought left Kya’s lips trembling in an effort to keep what was left of her composure. She knew Helena was far from the virgin that white gowns were made for. So sinfully, wonderfully far... “With one stipulation...” Helena’s words left Kya’s soul floating. No condition could be too much, no request too extreme. One tiny condition to meet and a new life could unfold with Helena. One little thing and Kya Klein would no longer be a fantasy scribbled in the pages of a diary, no longer bound in the dreams of a hopelessly in love woman in the middle of a war. “Tell me about this Willow who contends for your heart.” All at once, Kya’s cheeks flared even as her laughter tumbled free. This was sure to be embarrassing.

#lovestruck voltage #post cannon #helena x mc #lovestruck helena #helena klein #pure fluff

[rosedavid]

Since Cyrus loves TJ's name, TJ lets Cyrus call him Thelonious sometimes, but one day, he accidently calls him that when they're with the gang at the spoon (but please let it end happy lol I don't want an angry TJ)

this got way long lol! hope you enjoy :)

What’s in a Name:

It’s the weekend, and Cyrus stands outside of TJ’s house. They have a informal date at his house planned for the day. Most likely, it would involve lots of binge watching tv shows and cuddling. 

When the doorbell rings, TJ races down the stairs, almost falling. He yanks open the door in excitement, heat rising on his face when he sees Cyrus outside all bundled up in comfy clothes. He ushers the other boy indoors, stopping him in the doorway to greet him properly. 

“Good morning, Cy,” TJ greets, automatically tilting his head down to peck his boyfriend’s lips. 

“Good morning, Thelonious.”

TJ frowns at Cyrus, who plays innocent. 

“I should take back my kiss just for that!” TJ exclaims, crossing his arms with a huff. 

Cyrus breaks out into a grin, tugging on the sleeve of TJ’s shirt. He reaches up on his toes to try and press a kiss to TJ’s lips, but TJ dodges causing Cyrus to miss. Instead, he ends up kissing TJ’s chin which causes them both to chuckle. 

“TJ!” Cyrus whines. “Please let me call you by your full name!”

Honestly, TJ loves the way his name sounds on Cyrus’s lips. He’s never been fond of his name (obviously), but every time Cyrus speaks it endearingly, with no hint of teasing in his voice, it makes TJ’s heart pound. With Cyrus, everything has always been easier. Cyrus has allowed him to become truer to himself, as well as less insecure about numerous things, from his dyscalculia to his identity. In retrospect, it makes sense that TJ would feel comfortable with Cyrus calling him by his real name.

“Okay, fine,” TJ relents, “Just please don’t use it in front of anyone else!”

Cyrus squeals, bouncing on his toes. “It’s a deal, Thelonious!”

Unable to resist the adorable boy beside him, TJ pulls him into another kiss that leaves both of them dizzy. 

For the few months, Cyrus continues to call TJ Thelonious in private. Sometimes, he’ll even call him Jagger if he wants to mess with him. Not used to hearing his name so often, TJ can’t help but get butterflies every time Cyrus says it. He doesn’t say it very often, though. He mostly uses it for special reasons, such as to make a point. In fact, Cyrus using TJ’s real name helps calm TJ down because he knows he’s with someone who knows him better than anyone.

One of his favorite moments with Cyrus so far happens a few weeks into their relationship. They lie on Cyrus’s bed, half-asleep from the lull of music in the background. The oranges and pinks of the sunset stream through the blinds, scattering light across the carpet. It’s been a rough day for both of them. TJ had failed yet another math test, making him feel discouraged. Cyrus, on the other hand, didn’t get into the advanced creative writing class he wanted to participate in the next year. 

“Are you asleep?” Cyrus whispers, squinting over at the boy in his arms. 

“No,” TJ admits with a yawn. “I wish I was, though. I wish I could just forget about this day.”

“Me too.”

TJ adjusts his position so he’s facing Cyrus, noses nearly touching from their close proximity. He reaches a hand up to Cyrus’s cheek, brushing it with a delicate touch. Cyrus blinks slowly, gazing into his eyes. 

“I’m sorry about your class,” TJ whispers. 

Cyrus shrugs. “Happens, I guess. I’m just not good enough for it.”

“Don’t say that! You’re amazing, Cyrus. I love your writing. You just need to keep practicing. You’ll get there.”

“You need to take your own advice,” Cyrus says, not in a harsh tone but rather a sensitive nudge. 

TJ’s expression darkens. “That’s different. I’m different. I’ll never be able to do math as well as everyone else because I’m stupid.”

“Hey,” Cyrus frowns, scooting impossibly closer to him. 

He reaches for TJ’s hand, intertwining their fingers. He squeezes their hands together before tugging them up and kissing TJ’s fingers. 

“You are not stupid, Thelonious,” Cyrus promises. “And just because you’re different doesn’t make you any less of a person. I’m different, too by a lot of people’s dumb standards. But we can be different together. And you know I’ll always be here to support you and help you out with math or anything else you need.”

TJ feels tears welling up in his eyes at Cyrus’s words. He opens his mouth to speak, but only a croak comes out. Understanding how he’s feeling, Cyrus wraps an arm around his side. Their legs tangle together, and TJ also slings an arm around Cyrus. They stay like that for a while, just breathing deeply and listening to soft melodies echoing from the speaker.

Despite that day being one of TJ and Cyrus’s worst, for both it ended up being one of their fondest memories of each other. Never have they had such a tender moment since the time they confessed their feelings for each other on the bench.

Just like he promised, Cyrus only uses TJ’s name when they’re by themselves. Still, noticing how much TJ loves it when he says it, Cyrus ends up sneaking it in more and more, sometimes even in public when they’re apart from the crowd. TJ never gets upset, as Cyrus is typically careful about saying it.

“Thelonious,” Cyrus giggles, “Stop it!”

“Don’t think using my name can always get you out of things!” TJ responds, not letting up on his brutal tickling.

Cyrus bursts out in laughter, head tipped back and arms squirming. TJ’s fingers dance along his belly while Cyrus curls in on himself. When he hears Cyrus’s beautiful laughter, TJ can’t help but smile.

“Thelonious. Thelonious. Thelonious,” Cyrus says between his laughs.

Finally, TJ relents. “Okay, okay, I give for now.”

“Finally! I thought I’d have to break out Jagger,” Cyrus teases.

Today is just over three months into their relationship. As usual, they are connected at the hip. Honestly, neither of them has been happier. TJ finally has accepted himself and gotten more comfortable in his relationship, while Cyrus feels fully loved.

“What’s on the agenda for today?” TJ asks, knowing that Cyrus has an elaborate schedule even during weekends.

“Well, we have to meet everybody for lunch at The Spoon in like an hour,” Cyrus replies.

TJ groans in mock annoyance, causing Cyrus to reach over and smack his arm playfully.

“I don’t wanna socialize,” TJ complains.

“I know, trust me, but we have to. Besides, weren’t you just saying you missed talking to Andi? She’ll be there, too.”

In the past few months, TJ has grown even closer to all of Cyrus’s (and now his) friends. He’s made his own place in their little group besides the kid who used to be mean. Now, he’s Buffy’s sports buddy, Jonah’s music buddy, and Andi’s drawing buddy. Not to mention, even though they already knew about his and Cyrus’s relationship, after coming out to all of them officially a few weeks ago as gay, TJ has felt a lot more comfortable in the friend group.

“Okay, I’ll go, but only for Andi,” TJ decides with a smirk.

“You’re the worst.”

TJ smacks a sloppy kiss on Cyrus’s cheek. Cyrus wipes it away, rolling his eyes.

“Did you have to slobber on me?”

“You say that as if you don’t drool all over my pillows as well as myself when you sleep over,” TJ comments cheekily.

The boys spend the rest of the morning before meeting their friends bantering and getting ready. Having slept over the previous night, Cyrus borrows one of TJ’s hoodies and shorts, both of which are way too large for him.

After not seeing each other for a while with TJ traveling for high school basketball and Cyrus deep in studying, they’re grateful to be together again for a bit. High school has been a difficult adjustment, but they manage to find time for dates and friends between everything. Today is the first time in a while all of them will be together in once place.

“We’re going to be late!” Cyrus shouts as he pulls on his shoes an hour later. “Hurry up!”

TJ fumbles downstairs. “I’m coming! I just had to find my converse.”

Luckily, The Spoon is only a short walk away from TJ’s house. Despite the short distance, though, they still manage to be a bit late much to Cyrus’s chagrin. Everyone else is already there by the time they arrive, chatting amongst each other. Even Amber has gotten off her shift to join them.

“Cyrus! TJ!” Andi waves. “Finally!”

“We’re only five minutes late,” TJ comments.

“I’m a very punctual person, TJ!” Cyrus retorts, jabbing his side.

“Trust me, I know.”

From her spot beside Marty, Buffy sighs. “As great as it is to see Cyrus not moping, I definitely did not miss your constant flirting.”

TJ and Cyrus scoot in beside everyone. It’s crazy how big their group as grown in the past bit to include Marty, Amber, and TJ himself. They can no longer use a regular booth at The Spoon unless Cyrus sits on TJ’s lap (which TJ would not oppose, but Buffy for sure would).

“We do not constantly flirt!” TJ says. “We’re just talking.”

“Exactly,” Cyrus agrees. “TJ isn’t smooth enough to flirt, anyway.”

“Oh, please, I could flirt circles around you—”

“You two are literally flirting right now,” Amber comments, sharing an amused glance with her girlfriend.

“You’re flirting with me, Thelonious?!” Cyrus gasps in mock surprise.

It seems so natural to them. The name just slides off Cyrus’s tongue without a second thought. At first, TJ doesn’t even realize Cyrus did anything wrong. He simply ruffles Cyrus’s hair with a grin. It’s only when they notice that no one else is speaking or moving that Cyrus realizes his mistake.

“Wait, what?! Thelonious? Is that seriously your name?” Buffy chuckles.

“Why else would Cyrus call him that?” Andi responds.

“You told Cyrus before us?”

TJ immediately scoots out of the booth roughly, ignoring Cyrus’s outstretched hand. He glares at them all, but his gaze lands mostly on Cyrus, who shrinks in on himself. TJ never wanted any of them to find out, at least not yet, but now one of his most embarrassing secrets is out to all of them. Everyone will for sure make fun of him for the remainder of his life.

“Yeah, but I guess that was a mistake,” TJ mutters.

“Wait!” Cyrus calls out, but TJ ignores his calls.

He stalks away down the sidewalk, fuming. He should’ve known that it would get out at some point. For more than once in his life, he wishes his parents never named him something so ridiculous. Even though Cyrus claims he likes it, it’s extremely unlikely that everyone else will. He can’t believe Cyrus just blurted out his name like that. After all, his family has been able to keep it a secret from his friends for years. But Cyrus just said it in front of all of them. Was it on purpose?

No. Even though TJ is angry with Cyrus, he knows Cyrus would never do something like that on purpose. It was just an accident. An accident. TJ shouldn’t be so furious with him, but he can’t help it.

How did it slip out so easily? How could Cyrus just say something so abnormal like it’s normal?

“That’s a great name!”

“You are not stupid, Thelonious.”

“Thelonious! You need get back to studying.”

“You’re beautiful, Theo.”

“You’ve got them moves like Jagger!”

“I love you, Thelonious.”

TJ blinks. He’s at the swings, where everything began. Where everything fell apart. Now, where he comes to a startling realization. It’s not abnormal for Cyrus. His name is a way to express his adoration and love, to show his support, to be there for him. For Cyrus, his name has never been weird or unusual, it’s just been his name. No matter how much TJ despises his name, Cyrus loves it. TJ loves that Cyrus loves it. TJ likes his name when Cyrus says it.

“TJ!” A voice in the distance calls.

It’s Cyrus of course. At first, the sight of him makes TJ feel anger rushing through him again, but it dissipates as fast as it comes. As Cyrus comes closer, TJ notices that his face is red, tears on his cheeks and in his eyes. All TJ can feel now is guilt.

“Oh my god, TJ,” Cyrus gasps, trying to catch his breath. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say your name in front of them, I promise! I-I don’t know what happened! I was just so caught up in the moment and it just slipped out, and I feel so bad about it! I’m sorr—”

“Woah, take a breath,” TJ instructs, bracing his hand on Cyrus’s shoulder.

Once Cyrus can catch his breath again, TJ sits them down on adjacent swings. Cyrus still appears to be feeling awful about the whole situation, sniffling occasionally.

“I’m not upset, not anymore at least,” TJ tells him. “I know it was an accident. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not!” Cyrus disagrees. “If I can’t even keep your name a secret, how can you trust me with anything ever?”

“It’s not your fault, Cy. You call me it all the time, and I let you because I like hearing you say my name. We’re comfortable with it now, so using it is almost automatic. I get it.”

“I still feel bad,” Cyrus sighs. “I made sure to tell everyone at The Spoon to never tell anyone and to never use it!”

TJ smiles, reaching over to clear Cyrus’s face of tears. “Thank you, but I actually think I’m going to tell them my full name now that they know half of it.”

“Are you sure? I feel like I pressured you into this.”

“You didn’t. You made me more comfortable with my name and myself, Cyrus. I should be thanking you endlessly for that.”

They stand up so they can hug.

“You don’t have to thank me, Theo,” Cyrus whispers into his ear. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Cyrus.”

Only after a few more moments of blissful comforting do they head back to The Spoon. Their friends seem surprised to see them walk back through the doors happy and holding hands like nothing happened.

True to his word, TJ tells them all his full name. Although he’s ready now, he still feels insecure about them judging him. Buffy is the first one to comment.

“We can make a club now,” Buffy decides. “Only people named in reference to someone famous can join.”

TJ laughs in relief. “That sounds good to me.”

“Dude, being named after two musicians? That’s cool,” Jonah says.

Marty adds, “And that guy from Shrek!”

At this, they all join in on the laughter. Cyrus brings TJ into yet another hug, but this time everyone else joins in. First, Andi and Buffy wrap themselves around TJ, followed by Jonah, Marty, and finally Amber. TJ feels thoroughly smushed in the middle, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Maybe Thelonious Jagger is a better name than he thought.

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