#and that non-binary male-aligned identities can be lesbians too

[thisismisogynoir]

Choke on glass, actually.

#lesbian #lesbophobia #it’s only us they do this to #because they can’t accept that we’re not into men #the bold-faced lesbophobia is so atrocious #and this was even before elon musk took over #the good news is that just about everyone in the comments disagrees lol #but they’re still being called terfs by people who think lesbians can be trans men #and that non-binary male-aligned identities can be lesbians too #and one person even said “remember guys if she says she’s a lesbian don’t give up there’s still hope!” get shot actually #do…do they KNOW that this rhetoric exists to put lesbians in danger and only increase our vulnerability to predatory men #who want to correctively rape us #of course they do they just don’t care #they don’t care about us #they never did

[seyemvertisepra]

A list of known Centauri nonbinary cultural identities in the pre-Republic era. Of course, there are infinite ways for a person to express being outside a gender binary, and I could not possibly list them all here.

This is, however, a list of some of our more prominent and culturally established ones. As with all gender concerns, these are not rigid categories and it wouldn't have been unheard of for an individual to mix and match traits from two or more of them.

**Trailwatchers**

A Trailwatcher, sometimes Trailmaid, is a short-crested Centauri that lives within a Creche and who is seen as a woman. They were often trusted with the task of greeting incoming Claves and establishing friendly communication with them.

Humans might recognize elements of butch identity in Trailwatchers, who were often ascribed outspoken and boisterous personalities and served as protectors for the other women of their Creche.

Additionally, this identity is strongly associated with lesbianism. Trailwatchers typically dressed very feminine and despite their crests associated far more with other women than with men.

In the Republic era, Trailwatchers were often infantilized and characterized as mentally fragile, being pushed to shave their crests and grow manes, and otherwise blend in with a typical Abbey woman. While male-aligned genderqueerness was typically punished harshly, women's divergent identities were treated as correctable and something to be pitied. Cognitive behavior therapies were often employed to coerce them into a binary presentation.

**Go-Betweens**

Widely varied in presentation and identity, a Go-Between is a term used to describe Centauri who easily fraternize with both men and women and often maintain both Clave and Creche bonds. These people can be male, female, or androgynous presenting. They would live a nomadic lifestyle, periodically staying in a Creche-City and then being picked up by a passing Clave until they arrived in the next city.

Go-Betweens are seen as friendly, energetic, and mercurial. Though very diverse, a well-known Go-Between look was a short trimmed mane styled in a crest like poof or topknot and a masculine or androgynous style of dress.

They were often pansexual or asexual, even non-partnering. They were perhaps the most well traveled of all Centauri, even more so than binary men, and often became guides and wise folk in old age when they became too frail to continue their journeys.

In the Republic Era, Go-Between became a common catchall for genderqueerness, with other distinct identities often being mistakenly or perhaps maliciously folded into it. In the process, the identity itself largely disappeared, and only recently has a liberated younger generation begun to reclaim aspects of it. It is probably the identity most commonly blended with that of other Centauri third genders.

**Over-Seasoners**

An Over-Seasoner is a crested or maned Centauri who often lives long term in a Clave and may identify as a man or simply live the lifestyle of one while feeling themself to be female or androgynous.

They get their name from their flamboyance and their tendency to spend the long winter seasons with a Creche containing their relatives telling stories they picked up on trips with their Clave. The double meaning of "over-season" is intentional and translates directly from Centauri Common into English; referring both to their "spiciness" and their living habits.

Over-Seasoners are artists and storytellers, often musicians. Their ability to convey cultural information between Claves and Creches helped maintain the bonds between family lines over long distances. They are usually seen as the originators of drag in Centauri culture, as they often wore women's clothes during performances in particular.

Like Go-Betweens, there is little evidence to suggest this gender contributed to reproductive labor in particular, and many Over-Seasoners saw themselves as gay men.

Individuals identified as Over-Seasoners suffered very openly in the Republic era, simultaneously being oppressed and fetishized. The propaganda campaigns against this identity framed it as a form of male weakness, often put side by side with other forms of Aberrancy.

Still, many found a way to live as themselves through sex work, a mixed bag that allowed for self-expression at the cost of being objectified by those who lusted after them. Men who were not Over-Seasoners could often be accused of such if they were perceived by their peers as too effeminate or sympathetic to women.

#alienkin #alterhuman #the great misc tag empire the lion of the galaxy #the two genders paintbrush and ponytail #history lessons #biology lessons

[redheadbigshoes]

Hi! ✨

I kind of wanted advice or like your opinion from like an actual lesbian ig? I recently realized that pretty much all my attraction to men was comp het (i am so sorry pedro pascal it’s not you its me). i am also non-binary and use only they/them pronouns and have been doing so for 6 years.

Some people say that nonbinary people can be lesbians and i was wondering if like that could maybe work for me? my problem is is that while i relate to the term i also feel like it invalidates my gender identity. like if i use it i’m no longer trans but like just a butch lesbian. i think that’s why i had the comp het because i thought if i was only into women then i would just be a girl who was butch.

this like probably doesn’t make too much sense lol i just wanted to ask someone who seemed to actually know shit about the term lol. sorry if any of this is like super ignorant i promise it wasn’t meant to be and please let me know if it is

Hi :)

When we say non-binary is included in lesbianism it doesn’t mean all non-binary people are included. The sexualities that include all non-binary people are the ones that are mspec (bi, pan, omni…). I’d say the non-binary identities that are not included in lesbianism are the male-aligned ones (which is not the same as masc presenting).

If you’re not male-aligned I don’t see a problem using the lesbian label. But of course there’s still some people who’re not comfortable using the lesbian label because of their gender identity.

There’s butch lesbians who’re also trans. You can definitely be both trans and a butch lesbian. Maybe you should talk with some trans butch lesbians to unpack more that mindset that if you identified as a lesbian you wouldn’t be trans.

If you’re still not comfortable calling yourself a lesbian there’s terms created especially for non-binary people who don’t really connect with the lesbian label, I think one of those is called trixic.

#stephanie answers #anon #long post

[bisexualsdeservebetter]

i looked on lgbta wiki to discern what the hell that person could possibly mean by “male lesbian” and i think i lost braincells reading their lesbian page but my best guess is that they’re talking about non-binary men and/or trans men. apparently, according to lgbta wiki (which is a very reliable source, as we can tell due to the completely objective way they present their articles /s), lesbianism means attraction to all genders except for binary men, except bi lesbians and straightsbians are totally valid and totally still lesbians even though they’re literally attracted to binary men i guess?? and then all of the “everyone except for binary men” stuff goes out the window because trans men can be lesbians if they feel a connection to lesbianism or they used to identify as lesbians before they realised they were men or whatever the fuck. and then there’s this whole thing where it goes “a common form of transandrophobia includes saying that trans men are just ‘confused lesbians’ because all lesbians feel some level of detachment from their gender” and it might just be me but it really feels like there’s an implied but we’re not like that! because for some reason they feel the need to constantly point out that trans men are still 100% real men and identifying as lesbians doesn’t make them less of one?? like hot take people who believe trans men are really men don’t feel the need to constantly affirm that they think trans men are men. and the comments are even worse! nobody questions anything even though it’s all complete nonsense, and i’m pretty sure anyone who actually dares to say that it’s complete nonsense just gets deleted. they even locked the page so only admins could edit it because apparently there were problems with people getting upset about the definitions (shocker) and changing it. someone even said “Before you get angry about this accurate information presented in this article, take some time to self reflect and realize that maybe you were wrong.” because yup, people (lesbians, mostly, but you can’t just say you’re talking about lesbians because that will get you rightly called out) are totally upset about this because they’re evil exclusionists who hate change and not because the notion that lesbians be attracted to men and/or be men is super lesphobic and harmful to them. like… they’ve turned lesbianism into a fun little label that literally everyone can identify as except for cis binary men and anyone who isn’t attracted to women/non-binary people regardless of alignment (even though the whole “you can be attracted to non-binary people in the same way someone can be attracted to men/women” is bs anyways but that’s not how these people see it), which completely defeats the point of lesbianism as a functional identity. thankfully this is just a loud minority, but holy shit they hate lesbians so much it’s wild.

There's not a lot I can add to this. Inclusionists love to erase and demonize lesbians, it's their favorite hobby. I'd like to point out I also see q*eer as a label being pushed on lesbians more than gay men. I have seen it with gay men too, but it seems to be mostly lesbians. A woman can literally flat out say she is a LESBIAN in no uncertain terms and inclus will still crawl out of the woodwork to call her a "q*eer woman". Like inclus are So Fucking Dedicated to either watering down lesbianism until it's a cute little label anybody can claim if they want to, regardless of if they're even women or if they're even attracted to women, or demonize lesbians to the point where they make it seem like all lesbians are mean evil TERFs.

I will never forget a post I saw a screenshot of some time ago that was aces claiming they have more right to the D slur than lesbians do, because the slur targets women who are sexually unavailable to men, and according to inclu logic, an ace is more sexually unavailable to men than a lesbian is. Despite the million different stupid fucking variations of asexual, including 'sex positive aces'. Like they genuinely believe a homosexual woman is undeserving of reclaiming the slur that is primarily directed at homosexual women because she... Experiences attraction. Every time I think I have seen the dumbest shit imaginable from inclus, they seem to take it as a personal challenge and make up something worse.

Also, fuck the LGBTA wiki, they're so blatanly homophobic, biphobic and transphobic all the fucking time over there, I lose brain cells every time I see a screenshot of that dumpster fire.

#lesbophobia #anti bi lesbian #anti mspec lesbian #homophobia #exclusionist

[thatspookyagent]

Tbh I think gender alignments are getting too relied on when it comes to defining definitions and determining who can and who can't use a certain label. (Hell someone might not even have a gender but the word gender alignment might kind of imply that for some.)

For example, a lot of folks specify that fem aligned nonbinary people can consider themselves sapphic or lesbians and that masc aligned nonbinary folks can consider themselves mlm and or gay men. And while there are folks that do fit into those definitions, I think having to rely on defining things by someone's alignment can be used in exclusionary ways. Ultimately only allowing one group to identify a certain way despite not everyone in that group defining themselves that way. Meanwhile anyone who doesn't fit the mold is rejected. Even if you're considered acceptable, if you're not performing femininity or masculinity "correctly" with the "right identities" (or presentation, pronouns, language, and even agab) that so called "match to go along", than you're rejected as well.

Also it represents masculinity as basically male/man adjacent and femininity as basically female/woman adjacent, basically putting folks who aren't binary back into said binary while equating gender alignments to a certain gender. Not every trans masc is male and not every trans fem is female. Those words are often used that way but they're actually different things and one isn't inherently the other. Not all trans men are trans masc and not all trans women are trans fem. It's important to remember that and not automatically sweep any trans man into the trans masc label and not sweep every trans woman into the trans fem label. Same goes for not forcing all trans mascs into the trans male label and all trans fems into the trans woman label.

There are folks who are unaligned/non-aligned, and what's interesting about us is that we usually (not always) get accepted into certain labels like lesbian and gay male, which like I said above, are often defined by and heavily rely on aligned language. It's almost as if we're one, an after thought that never really gets brought up until someone (most likely from our community) points out our existence and two, it's as if people base their acceptance of us off of our lack of alignment or the fact that we're unaligned. As if that's the first thing people look towards to when they want to determine who can use this and who can't use that. And since a lot of folks don't know what to do with us, they just accept us cause we don't use any language for them to automatically associate with any gender despite masc and fem not being restricted to a certain gender. (Also factoring in online spaces and how not everyone knows how we present irl so that excludes another factor that folks can use to categorize us.)

It's almost as if fem equals woman lite therefore they're the "acceptable lesbians" and masc equals man lite therefore they're the "acceptable gay men". And unaligned folks are kinda just there and aren't really a factor until someone brings us up and even then we're kinda just conditionally accepted because folks can't automatically equate us to the gender binary or can't see us as man lite or woman lite.

Also the same goes for gender neutral folks and basically anyone who doesn't use masc or fem. Remembering that not everyone uses gender alignment language or even likes it is very important. And not everyone who uses gender alignment language, uses it in the same way. An androgynous person might not use that word the same way that their other androgynous peers do. Some unaligned folks use neutral as a synonym for unaligned. Some gender neutral folks consider neutrality to be their gender alignment.

So I'm basically saying (once again) that sweeping certain queer people into one category because you find them acceptable and not keeping in mind the fact that not everyone in said group is comfortable with that, is queerphobic. Stop relying solely on someone's alignment or lack thereof, in order to determine if their identity is valid or not or if they're even allowed to use said label.

#gender alignment #lgbt #lgbtq #queer #queerphobia #lgbt community #lgbtq community #queer community #lesbian #lesbian community #gay male #mlm #wlw #nonbinary #exorsexism #exclusionism #radical inclusion #male lesbian #masc #fem #trans men #trans women #trans masc #trans fem #transphobia #trans #trans community #nonbinary community #femininity #masculinity

[nothorses]

How can a man, cis or trans, be a lesbian?! This is a non-men exclusive identity for trans (or cis) women or women-aligned nbs. Not to agree w conservatives...but words do have meanings!

“Not to agree w conservatives” that’s where you should have realized you went wrong m8!

Question: do you think nonbinary folks are either “women-aligned”, “man-aligned”, or neither? Because if so, you need to learn a whole lot more about nonbinary identities. Gender is more complicated than that, and nonbinary is not just a third gender. It’s also not a gradient with two Lite versions of each binary gender and a “neither” option.

“Man” is not exclusive to binary people, and there are a ton of nonbinary men. Some of them might be bigender, genderfluid, genderflux, pangender, omnigender, demiboys... and there are lots, lots more. Some people just identify as “nonbinary”, or “genderqueer”, and maybe they add some labels to that. Like “man”!

"Woman” isn’t binary-exclusive either. Some people are both women and men, and some are neither, or they’re one of those things and a nonbinary gender, or one of those things and some other things they don’t have words for. Some people might simply identify as “butch”, which has been used as a gender identity for over half a century now. Some of those butches reject words like “woman” and “woman-aligned”. Would you insist they can’t be lesbians? Or would you classify them all, against their wills, as “woman-aligned”?

Quick, what’s more important: respecting trans people, or defending the purity of the lesbian community? If you chose the second answer, you’re a TERF!

No, really. This whole argument is rooted in lesbian separatism and gold-star lesbianism (and if you don’t know what those are, do some research into your community’s history). It’s about gatekeeping who is and who is not “allowed” to call themselves a lesbian- and it starts here, with the trans people you don’t like.

Where do you think this rabbithole goes? Because it isn’t going to trans inclusion. It isn’t going to queer liberation. It’s leading you to the idea that lesbianism needs to be purified, kept free of Men and anything, anyone, who has been tainted by Men and Manhood. A safe space for women where Dangerous Male Predators can’t hurt them.

Who’s next, do you think? Nonbinary lesbians who aren’t “sufficiently female” and bi lesbians are first, because they’re too close to Maleness. Next are the rest of the AMAB lesbians who aren’t “sufficiently female”; the nonbinary transfemme lesbians, the trans women who don’t pass well enough for cis women’s comfort... and how big of a leap is it, really, from there to trans women as a whole? 

You are being indoctrinated by TERFs.

It’s a nasty, nasty cult, and no amount of “TERFSs DNI!!!” and “Reblog to piss off a TERF <3″ is going to protect you from it. Start thinking critically about what the rhetoric you’re swallowing actually means. Think about where it’s coming from, what historical movements it sounds like, and who’s most enthusiastic about peddling it. Think about who’s most vulnerable to it; because it sure ain’t cis men. Learn your history, especially as a lesbian- and learn how lesbians have been indoctrinated into TERFism in the past. 

And listen when the TERFs tell you they’re indoctrinating you. In this case, they’ve been pretty upfront about it.

#transphobia tw #transmisogyny tw #not horses #cult mention tw #Anonymous

[kuromichad]

different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia. 

because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”

and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner). 

like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.

because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness. 

because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”

again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.

like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.

like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.

#source on much of this: existing as a transmasc on tumblr for years and years. #i stopped identifying as any sort of 'woman-aligned' pretty much right before the ridiculous 'all afabs are dysphoric' stuff #but it sure did still make me hate myself and feel like a silly cowardly ugly little girl for wanting to transition! #and back when i WAS a she/they i definitely was falling for 'men are bad maleness is bad always inherently :)' rhetoric #not in the modern form outlined above but in the like. brainlessly parroted from 'baeddel tumblr' form #which was still like 'you can escape being a Bad Person by either becoming or admitting you are a girl :)' #and the only acknowledgment of trans men in this ideology was like. 'well i guess they feel like they have to do that :\' #'too bad for them. im not saying they shouldnt transition but you know. men suck though <3' #it was bad for me it was bad for other people so im saying from experience. Fucking cut it out! the end

[slcklekind]

im not arguing this tonight but I’ve noticed there’s one key difference between inclusionists’ idea of what the words “gay” and “lesbian” mean whereas everyone else has something entirely different: us inclus recognize that gay and lesbian can be umbrella terms.

like fuck, queer people say “im so gay” all the times even if they aren’t exactly gay because you understand, in contact, what that’s supposed to mean (“I’m so gay” as in “oh she’s so pretty and I’m attracted to women”.) but i have a partner, a bi woman, who said something along the lines of “im so lesbian” in that EXACT context and people suddenly lost it? at the idea of a bi woman having Lesbian Feelings, explicitly described as such? (side note you know sapphic and lesbian as adjectives are interchangeable, right?)

and it’s not like people don’t use the labels/identities themselves as umbrella terms. example. first we say being a gay man means you’re a man attracted to men — okay, we’ll what about masc-aligned enbies? ok so now it means being attracted to both men AND masc aligned ppl. … now what about nonbinary people who aren’t male or female? ok so now I’m gay for anyone who isn’t a woman. what about nb people who are men AND women? and the list goes on. you’re generally understood if you include trans and non-binary people in your definitions of gay. (and BEFORE you try me- no this isn’t a bad thing. It’s good, that’s my whole point!)

now maybe im just old but i remember a time — not too long ago actually — when you were allowed to use as many labels as you feel comfortable with. I see that shit all the time on here, genderhoarder is a whole label of its own now! so why is it a problem when someone wants to use multiple SEXUALITY labels to describe themself.

i mean i personally don’t think the fellow member of my community who uses pan, bi, and omni to describe themself because they feel comfortable and accurately described with all of them is such a big deal. nor do I see the point in fighting them. i kind of have bigger issues to worry about, like the people who want me dead for being queer.

#the whole thing with anti mspec gays is their whole argument— #is legit just stupid as shit #and i have a VERY strong feeling — no actually I’m CERTAIN — that it’s just biphobia repackaged #it gives me I Won’t Date A Bi Person Because They’ll Cheat On Me vibes. #kk.txt #typing quirk omitted for this one

[butch-bakugo]

Im so.... Fucking frustrated.

Yall just hate bigender people so much.

You hate people that are both male and female.

I already know its rooted in racism and perisexism but yall just take it to a whole 'nother fuckn level.

You say bigender people cant be lesbians. Why? Cause if you even partially male, you must be insinuating that men can be lesbians. Yall act like there isnt a whole ass female gender there too.

Like that female gender being present dosent matter, just the mere fact theres some masculinity in the gender, makes you a whole ass man( not a nonbinary person cause ya know, were still policing nonbinary people for some reason).

Its not a shock that any form of masculinity in lesbians get demonized or scrutinised to high heavens.

Butches are policed on the daily for either being "too butch" and getting called trans men to being " not butch enough" and apparently demeaning other butches, merely for having a slightly fem appearence.

He/him lesbians are somehow still some kind of debate topic cause yall still think mispronouning is cool as long as your only mispronouning the people who " deserve" it.

God forbid you be a lesbian who dosent use she/her or who would rathur be refered to as boyfriend or husband! How dare this homosexual woman break any gender roles or say fuck you to the structure he was raised in!!

Nonbinary lesbians are policed to hell and back. Everyone thinks they have some kind of right to " draw the line" where a nonbinary person has an " acceptable" gender to still identify as a lesbian.

The goal post is constantly moving.

You have to be fem aligned but not too fem aligned or you " might as well just be a binary girl". You can be agender but " how can you be wlw if your not a woman" even though being wlw was never a requirement for being a lesbian. You can have multiple genders but got forbid if any are even partially masculine! That outweighs any feminine genders you have. You can be genderfluid but only be fluid between female, agender or third gender! All other genders are "too masculine". You cant have identified as a trans man in the past! You could still be a horrible man trying to infiltrate lesbian circles! You cant be both male and female! Your femaleness isnt important now, now your nonbinary identity might as well be just male! Oh, your intersex and it makes your gender weird? Well if you have male/masculine appearences or even include male in your gender, you must just be a nasty man! Oh and god forbid you be a cultural specfic gender that dosent translate in a way other poc and white lesbians can understand! You might as well just be an enigma or even worse, male!

Yall realize how much this shit JUST reads as transmysognisitc and transphobic right?

How much yall hate nonbinary lesbians? Masculine lesbians? Two spirit/cultural specific gendered lesbians??

Yall see any lesbian that isnt a she/her white fem perisex cis woman dating another she/her white fem perisex cis woman and lose your collective brain cell.

We dont exist to make you happy or comfortable or even feel good.

We dont exist for you or your pleasure.

We exist for us and im so fucking tired of all the she/her exclusive, white, feminine, perisex, cisgender women lesbians and all kinds of non-lesbians who make the he/they, poc, butch, intersex, nonbinary (espeically male and female bigender) lesbians and transgender women lesbians feel like shit for existing in a non-conventual lesbian way.

Yall make us HATE ourselves.

Yall make us hate being lesbian.

Yall make us hate being butch or he/theys lesbians.

Yall make us hate being poc or using our cultural genders as lesbians.

Yall make us hate being intersex lesbians.

Yall make us hate being trans and nonbinary lesbians.

Yall dont care about lesbians or what we are until it dosent fit your nice little mold.

No wonder so many of us would rathur identify as straight trans men or bisexual, being a lesbian sucks almost purely by the way yall treat us, our flag, our terms and our identities.

#lesbophobic #levi speaks #he/him lesbophobia #internalized lesbophobia #lesbophobia #tw vent #vent

[rotationalsymmetry]

The mistakes people make when trying to understand trans people. (Not gonna say cis people, it can take trans people a while to figure this stuff out too.) Not necessarily in this exact order. CW: Discussion of transphobic and transmisogynistic concepts, genitals mentions.

Your gender is determined by your body (genitals/chromosomes/whatever) and is immutable (and also intersex people don’t exist but that’s a whole ‘nother topic.) Anyone who says otherwise is wrong or delusional.

OK, maybe there’s some trans people, but only men and women, and they’re not really men/women until they’ve “fully transitioned” (back to your genitals determining your gender.)

And it’s a very, very, very rare thing and only shows up one way: having a consistent sense of being the other binary gender from a young age, being intensely miserable living as the assigned gender, ending up straight, ending up gender conforming, etc.

Also they’re not really men and women, they’re some sort of in between freak of nature. (Referring to a trans woman as “they”, etc.)

OK, maybe trans people’s genitals aren’t anyone else’s business. But they at least have to look like their gender, otherwise how is anyone supposed to take them seriously? (Also: why do trans people get so angry all the time? It’s a mystery.)

OK, trans men are men and trans women are women. But...that means they’re exactly the same as cis men and women in every meaningful way. (Including, at the absurd extremes, things like who needs pap smears etc. At marginally less absurd extremes, figuring trans men don’t have anything meaningful to say about patriarchy based on lived experience, because apparently gender identity means everybody retroactively knew what your real gender was your whole life.)

Trans men’s experiences and trans women’s experiences have to be mirror images of each other. In particular: if a trans women wants to start using women’s restrooms and not men’s as soon as she starts dressing like a woman, and a trans man wants to keep using women’s bathrooms while he’s transitioning, one of them has to be wrong.

Non-binary people don’t really exist, you can humor them but they’re basically just people of their assigned gender playing around.

Non-binary people exist, but only if they look androgynous.

Non-binary people exist, and are (all) a third in-between or genderless category.

Non-binary people can all be simplified down to “basically men” or “basically women”. (”Woman-aligned” etc.)

All non-binary people can give you an extremely precise explanation of their gender identity, it’s never “well I think I’m not this and I’m pretty sure I’m not that and some days I feel this and other days I feel...”

Trans people can be divided into two categories: real trans people, and “transtrenders” who are just pretending to be trans. Because that’s a normal thing to do.

Real trans status has to be earned through suffering

(Binary) trans people can’t be interested in the same sex

Trans people can’t be gender non-conforming

Trans people have to medically transition or at least want to; medical transition is the only form of transition; if you’re not 100% sure you want to medically transition then doing more easily reversed things like experimenting with hair or clothes or asking people to use different gendered terms for you, is pointless.

Everybody has exactly one gender. Or at most one.

Genders other than “male” and “female” are made up (in a way that “male” and “female” are not)

If I personally can’t imagine being transgender, then it must not be real.

Being non-binary means you have to actively want to destroy the gender binary/identifying as non-binary is inherently a political statement.

More people identifying as trans is bad for gay people, gays/lesbians and trans people have conflicting interests, being trans is more acceptable to the general public than being gay and trans people are mostly actually gay people who get pushed into identifying as trans for greater social acceptance.

Puberty blockers are totally the same thing as HRT and allowing minors access to appropriate medical treatment is pushing an agenda on to them. Doing nothing is neutral and can’t possibly cause harm.

Detransitioning or shifting from a binary trans to a non-binary identity is betraying the cause/is evidence the person made a mistake by transitioning regardless of how they see it/is evidence that there should be more barriers to medical transition.

You have to get your identity right the first time: asking people to use different pronouns for you and then changing to new ones or back to your original pronouns, means you’re not taking this seriously.

In general, asking people to use different pronouns for you should be one of the last steps in the process, after more expensive and less reversible measures like hormone therapy, not one of the earliest.

Unless you’re 100% sure you’re trans, you’re definitely cis.

Real trans people never second guess themselves.

Welp, that’s 18 28 items which is a bunch more than I expected to get to. I’m just kind of playing around with ideas in my head here. Happy to have anyone add on.

(This is meant for trans people mostly, so please don’t be hostile on this thread. If you’re confused and want to know more I'd recommend that questions show up in my ask box off anon so if you accidentally say something hurtful/offensive, I can reply privately. Like, I’m not going to be hurt and I’m not going to judge if it seems to be coming from a place of not knowing rather than overt hostility, and I’d rather you ask than just be confused. Having said that, I’m terrible at actually responding to asks, so you might do better with someone else or seeing what you can come up with from internet searches.)

#transgender #trans #transphobia #cissexism #misconceptions about being trans #transmisogyny #that word that I always forget about nonbinary genders #lgbtq+ #nonbinary

[plague-of-insomnia]

Hi, would it be ok for me to ask how did you know you were non-binary? I'm questioning and would like to get some opinions, but no pressure to answer if this is too personal!!

So I got this ask months back, and with everything that has gone on with my health I wasn’t able to answer it... so I don’t know if the person who sent this will even see it, but since it’s pride month I figured it was a good time to get to the queer/questioning asks that have been languishing in my poor ask box/drafts...

First of all, I don’t mind questions like this; if I ever find an ask too personal I’ll usually just ignore it, but something like this I think is important especially since NB is such a... underrepresented concept, for lack of a better word, so sometimes that lack of exposure plus the very broad nature of the label can make the whole questioning process confusing and stressful.

Honestly, for a looong time I had no idea I wasn’t cis.

I didn’t know that you could be anything other than male and female; I grew up in pretty conservative Latin American immigrant family, Catholic, so the idea of homosexuality was bad enough, lol.

I was very involved in the (then called) “Gay/Straight” alliance back in high school, as we had quite a few gay and lesbian students and teachers. I had mostly queer friends, but even binary transgender people weren’t... as prominent back then. Ofc they existed, but I didn’t have as much exposure in HS, and I went to a catholic college where many gay students had to essentially be closeted—for example, (openly) gay men weren’t technically allowed in fraternities. I loved my school, but some of its views on women and LGBTQ+ people were pretty dark age stuff, so again I had no idea that gender was a broader spectrum than simply male/female, cis or trans.

As far back as at least around early puberty, I created a kind of alter ego. A character opposite my birth sex, who was unlike any other I ever created and who has stayed with me my whole life. They helped me survive my childhood/adolescence. They felt very much “me” and yet weren’t simply the person I was in actuality made into the opposite gender. More like the aspects of my self/identity I knew subconsciously.

Often, when I fantasized, I would put myself into their role. Imagine being the other gender, what their body would feel like, what sex would be like. I’d ask friends i was comfortable with about what it felt like to be the opposite gender. I felt I needed to know so that I could “feel” it too. So I could truly imagine being a gender other than my own, with different parts, different secondary sex characteristics.

Yet at the same time, I felt comfortable enough with my birth sex that I explained these moments away. I was just thinking like a writer. Curious, bc that’s my nature. I never thought I could be trans because despite the power of these feelings, the sometimes intense longing I felt to be other than I was, the thought of completely changing my body, abandoning my assigned gender, felt horrible. Like I would be losing part of myself.

I first heard the term nonbinary during Pride. I had never encountered this before, and being who I am immediately looked it up. I was floored. Gender was a spectrum? You could be both male and female??

I felt like I had been hit by lightning.

I immediately reflected on a lifetime of “queer” thoughts. About my alter ego and how I had clung so tightly to them, how often I fantasized about having parts I didn’t have (without necessarily wanting to take away parts that I already did). How I went through phases where I dressed very masculine in some points of my life and very feminine in others. How I related so strongly to certain characters over others, and other past experiences that I had always managed to discard or shelve away in “comfortable” boxes.

And I reflected on how I had always had this... shame about these thoughts and feelings, this fear that they made me a “freak,” which might be why I had always been so quick to file them away with safe labels.

Discovering that I wasn’t alone was liberating. I read about and spoke to people who identified as NB, and often found they had a similar thoughts and experiences growing up as I did, and that helped cement in my mind, without a doubt, that I was also nonbinary, that I wasn’t purely male or female, but both.

I’ve suffered with depression my entire life, and am likely bipolar (something my current therapist agrees with, though I haven’t been formally diagnosed for various reasons). And once I opened my eyes and began questioning, I discovered that a significant part of my depression was actually tied to my gender dysphoria.

Exploring my gender identity in various ways, and finally accepting that I am NB/gender fluid has made me much more content.

Now, ofc there is no one way to be non-binary. So just bc my experience doesn’t align with what you’re feeling, doesn’t mean you’re not NB yourself.

Some people don’t feel any gender at all, and wish they didn’t have any secondary sex characteristics. Some want to be purely androgynous. Some feel mostly one binary gender or another, but maybe not “fully” male or female. Some feel a mix of both, and some shift between two or more genders.

For me, I feel like I’m always partly male and partly female, though sometimes one is more dominant than the other. Sometimes I’ll have gender dysphoria so bad that looking at cis bodies can be very upsetting, or the feeling of “missing” parts I feel I have/should have is so intense it’s almost all I can think about. Yet other times I feel pretty “stable.” Sometimes I feel like I’m thinking a lot about my gender and my presentation and others I barley think about it at all, I just “am.”

I feel freer now that I have shifted names and pronouns. Like I’m finally accepting my full self.

A huge part of why I enjoy playing Animal Crossing so much is bc I can indulge my gender fluidity by playing with how I dress my character... it brings me a lot of peace I can’t always get IRL.

I hope whoever reads this finds this helpful, original anon or anyone who might be wondering if they may be NB or not.

Feel free to send other asks if you’d like, or if you know me you can DM me and we can talk privately. 💕

Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈

#non binary #nonbinary #questioning #pride month #poi answers #anon #long post #tw freak

[queerbutstillhere]

I have a question... But, like, I don't want to bother or anything, and I don't want to be rude, or disrespectful, I'm just asking for knowing and speaking of something I know. If I'm being an asshole just tell me, please. I... Wanted to informate about what I should know about Non-binary peapol, and I've seen that your blog is actually supportive for them, and I was thinking that maybe you could... Tell me about them? Again, if I'm being rude, please tell me, I don't want to offend anyone.

Hi! So firstly!

You’re not being rude by asking! I always encourage attempting to educate yourself and searching for information and knowledge! Knowledge is power, and all that! And respectfully asking information from knowledgeable people on things you don’t know and understand is one of the best ways to do that! So first off, thank you so much for asking and for trying to learn!

(the rest is under the cut bc it got kinda long)

Secondly, Non-binary (and transgender at that) is an “umbrella term” meaning there’s actually a lot of different identities and labels that fall under the umbrella term of Non-binary! Non-binary itself basically means that a person does not identify with anything on the gender binary range! (though there is further indentifiers of trans non-binary and some other labels (like genderfluid and genderflux and demigirl/boy) that I can try to get into later but we’ll stick with classic non-binary!)

I’m going to go ahead and give a disclaimer! My experiences and opinions and what I say here, does not speak for every transgender, or non-binary person in the world. These are solely my experiences, and should not be taken as law, as every single person is different in their journey and their relationship with their gender.

To me, Non-binary simply means “I am not on the gender binary scale(aka either female or male)”. I simply never felt connected to either genders, and non-binary is the label that seems to fit me the best! (of course labels are dumb and you shouldn’t feel pressured to assign one to yourself) I do occasionally tend to use the label “Trans Non-binary” which for me, simply means “I am not on the gender binary scale, but sometimes I feel more like (gender) then my AGAB” (AGAB stands for Assigned Gender at Birth).

Aka: most of the time I do not align with male or female, but somedays I do, and on those days trans fits me more properly than non-binary. (Again, this not everyone views Trans Non-binary to mean the same thing that I do!)

Non-binary people don’t always experience dysphoria, too! I did not for a long time, and most days I don’t! I’m comfortable in my body, but I know without a doubt that I am not my AGAB. And for awhile I struggled with that. There was a lot of doubting of my validity - especially due to some discourse on the internet at the time over dysphoria - because if I didn’t experience that dysphoria, what right did I have to say I was non-binary? But despite my lack of dysphoria(I do experience it now these days and it sucks ass), I was confident that my gender identity was non-binary, and will stubbornly tell you that it’s valid.

If you meet non-binary people, no need to treat them any different then anyone else! You should probably ask to confirm their pronouns, and how they feel about certain gendered terms (like compliments, ma’am/sir/mx, dude/bro/sis, etc-) as some NB people prefer one over the other, if androgynous terms can’t be used! And just remember, every single person is different, whether they’re cisgender, non-binary, transgender, gay, lesbian, queer, pansexual, bisexual, whatever! Everyone is different, they all have different experiences and different ways to define their labels, so as long as you’re being kind and respectful when you do, I always encourage asking! It’s better to ask then to assume!

And again, thank you so much for asking! I hope I could be helpful in some way!

#nonbinary #transgender #trans non-binary #gender questioning #asks #thank you so much for asking! #sorry it took so long to get to this! #i hope this helped #anon asks #korey answers

[questionthebox]

Poets Diary

before I go to sleep, I want to put this forward, as ive been reading many of the essays, on black agenda report, which are a boon, of revelations, to understanding things, especially, as I feel for myself, I could never write the way those people write, in essence as they are scribes, and heroes like myself, frankly don’t process information the way scribes do, and those scribes act almost as a left wing priest and priestess class, giving us slaves, this sort of magic that keys our development, 

this being said, I was reading their essays on Clarence Thomas & President Obama, who in my reading are more similar, in this way which isn’t ever understood about black people, and what its frankly like to be a person of color really, its what I'll call the “weirdo factor” of the insularities and insecurities stemming from growing up as an other in a horribly oppressive truly hateful, Earth-society, 

these isolated weirdos like Obama and Thomas, every part of their thought and ideas goes to a very rudimentary sense of their material experience, a lot of it is sexual, what I mean by this, is something ive long understood since I was a kid, about people of color in the United States and perhaps elsewhere, this also applies to white folks to but I won’t get into that, but a lot of people of color because of their “weirdness” experience, delayed sexual experience or odd sexual experiences or neutered sexual experiences or violent sexual experiences, my mothers insanity stems mostly from the constant rapes she endured as a light skin black girl in her youth, it fundamentally shattered her, I would say, if we could ever get Obama and Thomas in a room and ask them truthfully about their experiences we’d find things along the same spectrum, further in this, I wasn’t fully candid about my experience with that black girl I grew up with in Long Beach who I ended up rejecting, who told me she was still a virgin at age 28, I rejected her frankly because I sensed in her that aspect, that “weirdo being” which frankly is the mark of a Slave, 

in this, I understand and have no problem presenting my identity as mixed race, mixed class, the rogue pirate other, the romantic other, of which I know my white girlfriends seem to like the most, I don’t deny this within myself, but I do believe it makes me the best vessel for liberation for my people, which includes blacks, because I don’t share the full black experience, that ive seen it from afar that at times ive seen it intimately, I being the mixed raced, educated rogue, I can better articulate it, because I was frankly never a slave, I was frankly always “ancient Egypt” do you know what I mean ? 

you cannot and this even goes to the scribes I mentioned, but you can never trust people any of these people who have had their souls marked by slavery, yes they can reveal things that align truth together, but those people aren’t ever revolutionaries or visionaries, in this I'll be honest I'm breaking away from a solidarity with “slaves” I'm not going to listen to them anymore, because most want to wallow, meaning they want to present their abstract slave identities up front, when what should be focused is, what I saw working for the Census, going into the black projects, seeing dark skin black boys, half naked, literally playing in piles of filth, with their only hope, being the NFL or NBA, or this recent boon in interracial pornography, no non binary dyke black or Latina lesbian bitch, is ever going to discuss those conditions adequately in destroying them, violently confronting these sadistic white rulers who own everything on planet earth, they’re just not going to do it, they don’t have it in them, because they’re slaves, you cannot unslave people, through what its being presented, the only way to unslave people, is to violently destroy everything, and rebuild everyone and everything, to then they can choose who they authentically are, these new alternative identities so popular now, aren’t authentic, that’s why there's pushback intirnsically from normal people, from bigots, and from some leftists who want to be abstract and say “we have to stop using identity politics” 

everything goes back to a question of authenticity, even Obama and Thomas deal with this in their writings without realizing it, they anguish in their lack of authenticity, Obama pursues it by being a coward, probably because his white mother and white grandparents who raised him, told him to not “misbehave” 

authenticity died, 

when my fathers ancestors Lol, Spaniards, other Europeans, got on their ships, and sailed around the world, fucking other people, I want to key that point, its not that they enslaved other people, funny thing to note I watched this interview with the great historian Gerald Horne, and he pointed out in the heyday of slavery, europeans would abduct all dark skin people the world over and put them in different parts of the world, quite fascinating really, they essentially made a skin tone a byword for a condition, but anyway its was that they FUCKED the people the conquered, they fucked them all, women, older women, young girls, little girls, boys, teenage boys, little boys, men, older men, I mean FUCKING was the essential ingredient to it all, that everyone overlooks, but its why sex tourism exists, its why things such as the sexually exotic mixed race woman are celebrated in mass media, its why ladyboys exist, I mean I could go on, the identities that are called alternative, only exist because of European colonialism, they aren’t truly authentic ! why don’t people get that, 

there’s a taboo, in modernity, what I’ll call the instisintnce of niceness and decorum, I as a mixed race person, just shit on that, I remember my former male mentor who was a criminal once told me that our ancestors were pirates, he too was mixed race, and he always used to stress to me “what do you know about human nature” in the context of him saying that, it came from us watching 12 years of a slave, me being in my early 20′s at the time, could not accept the depiction of a black woman willingly married to a white slave owner, living in bliss, my inherent polite liberal decorum, wouldn’t allow me to see the world as it really is, 

the world that is this, piracy, prostitution, ignorance, childishness, mediocrity, the world of New Orleans in the 19th century, where ignorant lumpens interacted with each other through music, sex, and food, that is the real world, where some red headed Irish bitch fresh off the boat, gets work at a New Orleans brothel, falls in love with some creole fast talking criminal, they have a kid they both abandon, who plays jazz music, but also has to hustle by selling his ass in homosexual dalliances, with rich white patrons, 

THAT is the real world, 

how to destroy that world, and reset the world, with no hierarchy, with no prejudice, or exploitation, that is the key, but to do that, will take violence, you have to violently overthrow the europeans, and it also has to be decentralized, it has to be democratic, it has to be frankly communism-anarchism, it cannot be anything else, it also has to be fundamentally feminist, but it also has to have beauty, you have to present something people will actually like doing, for example, instead of having McDonalds, why don’t we educate the citizens of the world to build spaceships, or to utilize the biology of the planet with technology, you have to incorporate everyones neat gift for creativity, something I realized by looking at CAVE PAINTINGS. 

look at cave paintings, look at how detailed they are, they look like they were painted by master painters who had years of experience, instead they were painted by the first of us, who didn’t know anything about the technical aspects of art, and these things still came out TOP NOTCH, 

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #my thoughts #leftist #anarchist #prose

[wariocompany]

mario and luigi: dream team game review

the thing is. the gender binary is SO tied to heterosexuality as well. so much of the “male” identity as perceived by cishet society is about marrying a woman, and so much about that of the “female” is about marrying a man. misogyny plays a major part, because so much more of “being a woman” is to serve the man they end up marrying, and to serve men in general, than vice versa for “being a man”. something something the patriarchy. this is not news to anyone.

the idea that gender identity and being trans, especially being nonbinary and lesbian or gay or aligned bisexual, doesn’t have any place in the so called “LGB” is so weird. because by not being heterosexual, you’re already rejecting the gender binary in the strictest sense. like the gender binary was just the easiest way to categorise people by how they would reproduce right. if it were Just About the body parts then we’d also have “roles” for shit like eye colour. (of course there’s racism and ableism etc but that’s a whole other discussion)

that’s of course not to say that you Have to consider yourself non-binary if you’re not straight. like that’s dumb. people have been bending “gender roles” as it were since the beginning of time and a good deal of those people haven’t necessarily felt some kind of dysphoria and are happy identifying within their binary gender.

but like. that’s just the thing right? gender is just an interpretation. literally EVERYTHING we perceive on this planet is an interpretation. “wednesday” may mean the same DAY and moment in space-time but when i hear “wednesday” it means something different between you and me. to me wednesday might be take away dinner night or something. and that means nothing to you but that doesn’t mean i have the wrong understanding of “wednesday”.

“be a man” is a sentence that can trigger all sorts of emotions and even trauma for people but it’s always meant something different to everyone. even between two hypermasculine cis guys, their understanding of “man” is different. if they’re transphobic they might think “a man is someone with a dick” but they have parts of their personality that hinge on their being a man, too. for some, to be a man is to, like, be chivalrous or “gentlemanly” or whatever. for others it’s about being Strong As Fuck or. liking cars or something. even though they both have the same basic idea, no one hears the word “male” or “female” and thinks the exact same thing, when you really get down to it.

but. at least in my opinion, maybe, i feel a lot of the Widely Accepted gender binary and its associated roles stem from heterosexuality, or rather heteronormativity. so much of the roles is that “a man is what a woman is not, and a woman does what a man does not”. so when someone isn’t straight, at least in my eyes, they’re already rejecting that oppressive binary.

again, doesn’t mean they’re nb. but i also think it’s why nb lesbians and gay guys, or nb aligned bisexual people, makes so much sense to me? cuz even though i feel a certain level of comfort and self-recognition in being a man and considering myself one - even though i know it’s stupid, like a television show you know is objectively bad but you watch the shit out of anyways - i also feel a resentment towards it. the definition of “man”, at least the way i’ve inferred it from having ideals of masculinity presented to me since birth, has a lot to do with being with women, and so when i go and date another man, am i not already.... not a man?

rejecting that binary entirely and navigating one’s sexuality and gender on one’s own terms makes a whole lot of sense to me. i mean, no one’s gender is a political statement, unless they want it to be, i guess. so i’m not going to stand here and pretend that every nb lesbian or gay guy or align bisexual person is making some Revolutionary Statement by just existing. 

but rather, it’s proof of how everyone has interpreted, and re-interpreted, what gender means in different ways. and it’s also proof, besides the whole history of trans women being so pivotal to the history of same-gender attracted people, of how you literally can’t untangle the connections between being gay/bi/lesbian and being trans. cuz in both instances, it’s about rejecting the way gender has been presented to us (whether it’s that gender is tied to heterosexuality, or that gender is tied to biological sex) and existing as ourselves; outside of how society planned it.

anyway.

#yes the title is a joke #i'm just thinking you know? #dw the stuff under the read more isn't a vent. just me kind of... reflecting...

[thatspookyagent]

I’m just someone frustratingly browsing tags but I too am tired of people making nonbinary out to be that you’re either aligned with men in some way or aligned with women in some way. I’m trigender and don’t want to be categorized with anything remotely related to the binary and being grouped under attraction to men/women makes me uncomfortable

But no one seems to care anymore. I want to be in a separate category and try to remind people that nonbinary people can be third gender (which if I’m remembering is actually a specific gender?) or any number of other genders but no one cares.

A teenager told me I should be okay with lesbians being attracted to me because “they’re attracted to you because you’re a non-man” (ignoring the fact that I’m also a non-woman) and it triggered my dysphoria so badly I had an anxiety attack and I told this person I wasn’t comfortable with that and that it triggered my dysphoria so they blocked me

I don’t feel comfortable in my own community anymore. It seems that all you’re allowed to be is “nonbinary woman”, “nonbinary man”, or “agender but okay with being grouped with men/women attraction wise”

Sorry for the rant. It’s rare I find anyone who feels the same and I’m so tired

// do not reblog

Woah okay. I hate to point this out anon but please don't come into my asks talking about your triggers and anxiety. I'm no one's therapist and I don't appreciate people dumping that on me, intentional or not. Remember that.

So I'm not sure how you found me or what tags you're searching through or how you came to the conclusion that I feel the same as you but yes not all nonbinary people ID as man-aligned or woman-aligned. Personally I don't mind being included in gay men's attraction despite being abinary and not associating with labels like masc or fem, male or female. If I get mistaken for a guy I think that's cool and it doesn't bother me compared to getting mistaken for a gal tbh. I don't mind masc language being used on me in a slang way but any and all feminine language being used on me makes me uncomfortable. It's all down to preference and how you feel. I have a connection to masculinity (in some way, shape, and form) and I'm comfortable with presenting that way but I'm still gender neutral and even consider myself androgynous.

People feel the need to shove nonbinary folks into the gender binary in order to make sense of our identities because of how cisnormative our society is and how often it relies on the gender binary in order to oppress people. Nonbinary men and women of any identity are valid but don't represent all nonbinary folks. And yes, third gender is it's own category and or identity that often gets used as an example of what nonbinary isn't but for third gender people, they want to be included and consider themselves on the nonbinary spectrum.

Folks who aren't nonbinary just need to remember that we don't all feel the same and to stop applying binary experiences to all of us. For example, I just pointed out the differences on how you feel vs. how I feel about being grouped in attraction wise. At the end of the day we're still nonbinary but have different experiences with our gender(s).

// do not reblog

#do not reblog #do not rb #I'm not sure how I feel about people putting their tramua in asks and sending it to me #Maybe like refrain from that in the future anon lmao #/srs #anon #anonymous #asks #answered asks #dysphoria tw #dysphoria cw #tw triggers

[coolestfinch]

“if a non-binary person is woman aligned or not aligned and they're attracted exclusively to women and non man aligned non binary people, they can identify as a lesbian.” but they don’t identify as a binary woman... and you have to be a woman to be a lesbian... i read the two links you told me to read entirely and i see no factual evidence backing up most of the things said in those links. here i was thinking you would show me factual evidence and NOT a tumblr carrd...

what “factual evidence” do you need lmao this isnt rocket science its literally peoples lives and identities. gender is not black and white. i literally don't know what the hell you expected, a fucking scientific study on lesbians and their connection to womanhood? some hormonal experiment? literally what the fuck else do you want. all i can provide is first hand experience as a non binary lesbian and examples of non binary lesbians from history (leslie feinberg for example). you don't have to be a binary woman to be a lesbian. you never have. you just cant be a man or be male-aligned. its literally not that hard and if youre either too stupid or too thick-skulled to try and understand or at the very least respect it, then you don't deserve any more of my time. 

#asks