#and last night i barely slept because i forgot medication

[nagitoedit]

i'm having a huge allergy attack or something . it's been an hour maybe and i am genuinely struggling to breathe right now 😭

#something crazy is that . i has allergy tests done. i am not allergic to anything. and yet i have allergic responses #to what though ? and this was triggered by taking a a shower. arent showers supposed to help #showers do this to me often too this isn't a one of thing showers are a known trigger for it. not always but sometimes #i gotta start taking zyrtec regularly again because i'm dying #and last night i barely slept because i forgot medication #just felt like complaining. anyways. let's see if i suffocate in my sleep or not

[starrclownshazbinblog]

Spider Family facts (Angel, Molly, Arackniss, Henroin + Carmilla and Isabella) because I love them but if I HAVE to he be sad then YOU HAVE to be sad

TRIGGERWARNING: DEATH, HOMOPHOBIA, SUICIDE, OTHER NASTY TOPICS

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Like I've said, Arackaniss and Molly found Angel's body. Thing is, Arackaniss and Molly found Angel before he died. He was barely there but he was still alive. Molly freaked out, she immediately ran out of the room to fing medical help. Arackaniss ran to Angel immediately. He set his head up on his lap, he wanted him to be stable. He didn't need to search for a bullet wound, he knew what Angel did. Angel was barley alive but he could make small sentences. Arackaniss and Angel got into a big fight before Angel overdoses. Angel was using his last words to tell Arackaniss that he was sorry. Sorry for the fight, sorry for being a bad younger brother, sorry for the messes Arackaniss had to clean up. Arackaniss shushed him, telling him that he was his best friend and that he did everything right. As a husband, as a father, as a little brother. Arackniss's last words to Angel was that he loved him so much. Angel didn't hear him, he already died. Arackaniss broke down immediately. He just craddled Angel's head and cried, repeating that he loves him so much. Whe Molly ran back in the room with a paramedics, she saw Arackaniss and Angel's dead body. She never let herself forget she wasn't with her twin brother when he died.

Molly called Angel a faggot when he came out. She didn't mean too. It was genuinely just a slip of the tongue. Angel never forgot it though.

Angel gave Molly the scar on her eyebrow when they got into a fight. Angel gave himself one as a apology.

Molly went out alot quicker than Angel did. She shot herself in the side of the head. Arackaniss heard the shot in the middle of the night. He also found her dead body.

Arackaniss killed himself after Molly's funeral. He couldn't stand being without his family.

Molly was never the nicest to Isabella because she knew that Isabella was just a child that was made to make Carmilla and Angel look straight. She wasn't outright mean to Isabella but she was no means a loving aunt.

Henroin was the only one able to comfort Angel after Carmilla died. He pulled Angel close to him and let him cry over his shoulder.

Angel and Molly tried to joke about the death of their mother once so they could cope with the loss. They were about 12 and genuinely weren't trying to make fun of her, they were still upset they never had a mom. Arackaniss freaked the fuck out and screamed at them. He accidentally, in a fit if anger punched Angel in the face. Considering Arackaniss was 19 and much bigger than Angel, he knocked his tooth out. Angel has to get his gold tooth.

Henroin sometimes has resentful thoughts about Molly and Angel. Angel and Molly were a high risk pregnancy which ended up killing their mother. Henroin sometimes wishes that his wife survives instead. He immediately gets sick thinking about his children's death like this.

Henroin later found out in death from Molly that Angel was gay. This caused a breakdown. He didn't understand what he did that made Angel feel like he had to hide this part of him and create a marriage of convenience.

Molly and Angel have these small rabbit plushies. Angel is a light pink while Molly's is light orange. They were given to them by Henroin. Arackaniss has a light green one. Henroin later gave Isabella a light purple one. It's a small family tradition. When Angel died Molly slept with the two plushies, inconsolable for weeks. She refused to separate them. (This was her way of coping with the fact she wasn't with Angel when he died.) Later when Molly died, Arackaniss made sure that Angel's, Molly's, Isabella's, and his plushie went with him. He wanted the family to be together.

Isabella doesn't remember Angel. She's really young and considering how long she's been dead. She knows she had a dad she just doesn't know where his is.

Isabella doesn't know Angel's in hell. This leads her to be really upset her dad isn't with her. She still waiting for her dad to come back to her and tell her everything will be okay.

Henroin used to sing a personal lullaby to Arackaniss, Angel, and Molly when they would have nightmares. Angel would go on to sing this to Isabella. When Isabella died, Arackaniss would sing it to him to help with his crying.

Molly used to do drugs with Angel. She did it as a solidarity, to make him feel like he wasn't alone.

I had alot of fun writing these!! :D

Asks are always open, art is always here, crimes are always legal if you don't get caught! <3

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

#hazbin hotel rewrite #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel rewrite blog #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel redesign #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel angel dust #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critique #spindlehorse critical #hazbin hotel molly #hazbin hotel arackniss #hazbin hotel henroin #angst #triggering themes #triggering topics #triggering content #sad spiders

[rottingcompost]

Forgot to take my sleeping medication last night and when I realized it was way too late to take them at all and I have slept barely at all and at this point I should just get up and get going with my day instead of trying to fall asleep again because there's no way I'm falling asleep now

#Ramblings #Im tired af tho but also i really need to keep my sleep schedule somewhat similar to that of a functional human beings

[cookietroop]

Mechanic! Reader x Yandere! Security breach characters

The Last Job Pt.5

As Jade entered the establishment she had a sweet smile as she looked at her lunchbox a lot of times.

Today was a special day for her, she was applying to college to finally earn a degree to make her own business.

And she was going to celebrate by giving tiny gifts to the friends she made.

Mad she opened the door to the break room, her sweet smile turned into a shocked look, y/n was sleeping on the couch.

“Y/n? Are you-“ Asked Jade as she poked y/n’s head softly before y/n shot up to give her a tired look with drool staining her face.

“Night shift is tiring and I think I went a little too late ACHOO!!*” Said y/n as she sneezed into a tissue.

“HOLY FUCK Y/n!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME!!!” Yelled Jade.

“Nawww Jade I feel fiiiiiiinnnnneeee, this sneeze is just a sneeze nothing mor- ACHOO!*” Said Y/n as her sneezes took over.

“As a friend Y/n, you must rest!” Said Jade as she looked at y/n with a motherly look.

“F-fineeee just don’t make it a big de-“ Said Y/n but Jade was out the door.

“F-fu-ckk…….” Said Y/n as she put her face into the couch.

————————————————————

Long story short Y/n was put into a nurse office where she was forcefully put into bed now she’s grumpy and trying to cool off by watching some livestreams of people doing video games.

But that was cut short when Macy pulled up and took her phone and placed it on a counter.

“Fuck you want Macy? I have been forsaken by my comrades now you taken my only source of entertainment in this mortal plane.” Said Y/n.

“Y/n you sound like you are a person from medieval times and also I made soup with hot sauce.” Said Macy as she placed the ramen on the counter.

“Really Macy? That’s ramen not a chicken soup, and I don’t think you remember but I have a cold, and ramen isn’t going to solve a thing.” Said Y/n as she picked up the ramen and blew it.

“Fuck you for ruining my only sweet thing for the day.” Said Macy.

“Hi superstar.” Said Freddy as he towered behind a terrified Macy.

“Hi Freddy-WHAT THE HOLY MOLY FU-“Said Y/n as she gone into the corner of the bed and put herself in a cocoon blanket.

“Superstar? Why are in the blanket?” Asked G. Freddy.

“Don’t look at my vulnerable state! I’m metamorphosing into a butterfly!” Said Y/n as she was heard shuffling and moving in the small space.

“Y/n got the cold and now she looks and acts like somebody who is on crack” Said Macy as she rolled her eyes and took the ramen she gave y/n and ate it.

‘How did y/n even get this cold?’ Well I thought you never asked.

When sam’s parents picked him up, his mother, aka y/n’s sis, was diagnosed with the flu that day and when was about to leave but accidentally sneezed on y/n who in turn never got her sister’s warning because she forgot, and now back to the main story.

“I WILL HATH MY VINDICTIVE VENGEANCE ONTO THOU WHO FORSAKEN ME!!!” Said Y/n as she was still in her cocoon.

Macy wasn’t there anymore but Freddy, definitely was still there, he couldn’t bare to be separated from his soon to be partner who already gotten infected with a cold.

“Superstar you need to rest.” Said Freddy as he gently pulled away the blanket to see her sniffling face which was red like a tomato.

“Nooooooo~! You’re not my dad!” Whined y/n as she pulled back the cover and cowered inside.

Freddy who was patient with y/n’s complicated behavior and bratty like tone, he was able to successfully put y/n to sleep, courtesy of moondrops.

Y/n was breathing heavily from the cold as she slept like she was in her regular room in her comfortable bed.

As the nurse walked in with medication in hand for y/n, she was surprised to see Freddy taking care of y/n instead of preforming in the main stage.

“Excuse me Freddy, but can you please get out of the way? Y/n’s medication is here and I need her to take it.” Asked the nurse as she kinda felt a little uncomfortable about the aura that the animatronic held.

It felt almost toxic and suffocating as Freddy reluctantly agreed and went away. But the nurse was relieved that Freddy was gone.

As the nurse gave y/n her medication she started to feel more uncomfortable and more self aware like a deer feeling the presence of a predator like something was wrong.

The nurse heard about the disappearance of Johnathan, otherwise known as Jade’s ex. The police have been searching for him because of his rich parents and they blamed Jade for the incident but the police didn’t have any evidence to support their claims and they ended the case because of Johnathan’s many enemies were angry that the police were looking for him and not even investigating the people he hurt.

But also many employees complained about a bad smell and the uncomfortable thing they have when they work with the animatronics, them not paying attention to them or flat out ignoring them when they have to work with them or when they get close to y/n and they felt like they were being watched and being looked down on when the animatronics joined in on the conversation.

Sundrop and moondrop are no exception to this, they still look after the kids but they ignored the commands of the daycare workers and their only focuses are the kids and y/n.

As the nurse started to turn her gears and finished giving the medication she started to feel more insecure about how the animatronics were now, as her thoughts turned into theories and questions she started to piece the threads together like a spider connecting her webs to catch the fly that will complete it, she started to feel more paranoid.

Like……. Someone or something was watching her………..

But she was right someone was watching her and that was, the mini music man, he had been watching her since Freddy relaid the info to dj music man.

Her mumbles of information caught mini man off guard and as soon she was staring at the vent the mini animatronic went on its way to tell the animatronics of the tidbits of information….

Hopefully nothing will happen to the nurse………..

[butwhyduh]

I've just finished reading your Christmas bat boys series and I love them all 🥺🥺! I don't want to be greedy but could you write morning/boxing day breakfast scene for the boys(TM)? I'd love that! If not then that's fine too. You've already provided us with quality content 👌

💕💕

So I’m from the US and we usually don’t celebrate Boxing Day. So I’ll probably do something wrong but that’s okay. That’s how Americans do holidays anyways. But I refuse to believe Alfred Pennyworth wouldn’t celebrate for one second. So I firmly believe this was the day that most of the kids and even Bruce would indulge Alfred and do what he wanted.

When they were kids it was enough to simply put the sweets down and take a proper post Christmas shower. Jason Todd had been incredibly excited to learn about Boxing Day because he thought it was a family fight day. Uh, yeah, good food and watching some boxing was nice too, he had guessed. Not a lot was certain, but sausage rolls and some kind of sports game on Boxing Day was one of them in the Wayne’s household.

Damian

You woke up to the familiar scent of Damian. But he wasn’t within arms reach. Where was he? How did you get up in his room anyways? You sat up to see him sleeping on the floor. Poor guy. It couldn’t be comfortable, could it? You tried to climb out of bed but the soft rustle of the sheets woke Damian. He sat up quickly only to relax.

“Morning,” you said.

“Good morning. How did you sleep last night?”

“Good. You didn’t have to sleep on the floor. That looks uncomfortable,” you said feeling guilty.

“It’s alright. I’ve slept in worse places,” Damian said and you were reminded of his child soldier past. You frowned. “It’s truly fine, beloved. Let’s get down to breakfast.”

“Yeah,” you said softly. You threw on one of his sweaters and went down. Alfred was in the kitchen this morning and had a platter piled high with some sort of pastry that he was bringing to the breakfast nook. You and Damian slid into the seats and you looked at the beautiful white grounds of Wayne Manor through the large viewing window.

“Would you like coffee, tea, juice, hot cocoa,” Alfred asked you both before bringing your drink. It was nice to be the first up. Alfred brought Damian curried tofu scramble and fried mushrooms and tomatoes. (You too if you are vegan/vegetarian).

Bruce came in the room and sat across from Damian. It was almost funny to see the billionaire in sleep pajamas. A large cup of coffee was placed before him and he had a steaming plate of everything Damian ate plus sausage rolls and a protein shake. It was quiet for a few minutes.

“You slept on the floor last night,” Bruce said quietly as he read the news on a tablet. He rolled his eyes at the article “Local Reporter Clark Kent gets Pictures of Superman in action.”

“Yes. All night, father. You knew that,” Damian said with a bored hint of annoyance as he ate.

“Good. If either of you needs to speak to an adult in the matter of love or relationships, I am well acquainted with several child psychologists as well as a number of medical doctors,” He said casually. You almost choked on your food before taking a large gulp of your drink.

“Father. Not at breakfast,” Damian chided. His ears had a soft redness and he pointedly looked out the window instead of at either you or Bruce. You stared at your plate.

“I think I hear Jason awake. I’d better catch him before he leaves. Excuse me,” Bruce said before leaving.

“Sorry. He’s.... awkward. He thinks he needs to teach us about sexual education. A little late,” Damian said with a laugh.

“A little late? Oh,” you said. Damian quickly looked at you.

“Not that way. We’ve just, we learned in school. Not that I’ve- I think someone’s coming in here,” Damian said grateful for the distraction.

Dick and his fiancé walked in. He had his hand around her waist and the pair seemed glued together. They sat down at the same time with a giggle. They probably hadn’t even noticed you both there.

“Are you done?” Damian asked and you nodded. You couldn’t handle watching them.

You both went upstairs to his room again. Damian awkwardly sat on the bed.

“You know,” you started. Your face felt flush. “If you did want to talk about it, I’d be here.”

“Oh. Do you mean,” he started to ask.

“Sex. Yeah. It’s fine if you don’t. Seriously. Just saying...” you trailed off. He looked at you intensely. When Damian Wayne was thinking hard on something, his face became completely imperceivable.

“Maybe. Soon?” He said hopefully. You nodded. “Wanna watch a movie? You’ve got to go home in a few hours.”

“Yeah sounds great.”

Dick

You woke up feeling like a puzzle piece. An arm was thrown across your back and legs wrapped in yours as you laid on Dick’s chest. His heartbeat was steady in your ears. You couldn’t get much closer to him if you tried. You moved to get up because the bathroom was calling your name.

“Baby,” he groaned and wrapped his other arm tightly around you. You tried to pull out while shushing him back to sleep. There was no way you could pry yourself from his grasp unless he wanted you to with his incredible grip strength. “Stay with me,” Dick begged. “Just a little more.”

“I’ve got to use the bathroom,” you protested and he finally let you go with a big pout.

When you came back, his rough fingers pulled you by your bare thighs back in bed. His dress shirt and panties weren’t exactly the warmest clothing. You landed on him with a giggle. Dick quickly wrapped you both back in the blanket.

“Good morning, fiancé,” he said softly. His fingers traced soft circles on your back.

“Fiancée,” you said back with a smile. Dick kiss you softly. Morning breath and all. He finally pulled away.

“It’s Boxing Day. Alfred’s sausage rolls. Are you hungry,” he said finally releasing you.

“Yeah. A little. Especially after last night,” you said getting up and finding some clothing.

“I know, right,” Dick said and his face was basically this emoji 😏. You rolled you eyes and slipped on his sweater and a pair of sweatpants.

Dick couldn’t keep his hands off of you. He held your hip while walking downstairs and laced his fingers in yours as you ate breakfast. His plate was piled high with the pastry and he drank a green protein shake with it. Was there anyone else in the room with you? Maybe? Who knows? Who cares?

After breakfast you both said goodbye to his family before leaving back to Bludhaven. You and Dick stayed in bed for a good portion of the afternoon and when he went on patrol, he looked at you wistfully before leaving.

Tim

Tim could sleep through a hurricane in a canoe. He missed a lot of sleep and when he finally laid on his pillows, lights out. He didn’t move. He didn’t snore. And God hisself couldn’t wake this man before at least 5 hours had passed.

And when he woke up on the day after Christmas, he was incredibly disoriented after getting 9 hours of sleep. He vaguely felt someone laying in his chest and he looked down. Oh yeah, you. He slept so hard, he forgot he had a girlfriend for 2 minutes. He would never tell you that.

“Sunshine,” he said running his fingers on your arm. “Wake up.”

You slowly stirred to look at him. You laughed instantly. His hair stuck up everywhere. Probably a side effect of having his face between your legs last night. He looked at you confused.

“You need a shower before you do anything, Timbo,” you said with a smile.

“Back at you. Wanna join me,” he asked with a eyebrow wag.

“I think I’ll pass with all your family awake. Last night was pushing it,” you said, giving him a kiss. He leaned towards your face to continue the kiss as you pulled back. His hands held your hips but released them easily when you pulled away. He had a pout on his lips but got up to shower anyways. You both got ready before going downstairs.

Alfred slid a cup of coffee in Tim’s hand before you even made it to the breakfast nook. You poured a large one for yourself after seeing the scene. Dick and his fiancé were half an inch from making out at the table. It was too early for this madness.

Tim gave you a knowing look. He certainly wasn’t the only one getting play in his childhood room last night. You rolled your eyes.

Tim grabbed a few pastries and a protein shake. It was funny the first time you learned he drank them religiously. He didn’t look the type. Dick on the other hand... But Tim was naturally thin and couldn’t hold weight on his body to save his life. A protein shake at every meal helped replace the calories he lost through work, lack of sleep, and his insanely fast metabolism.

Tim’s phone rang. No surprise there. You were honestly surprised that Tim’s phone hadn’t rung earlier or last night. He sighed and answered it. His breakfast was probably going to be interrupted. He talked for a few minutes before hanging up.

“Sunshine,” he started.

“You’re busy, Wayne Enterprise. Have to leave soon,” you guessed. He looked regretful.

“Yeah. I’ll make it up to you tonight. I’ll call you a car when you’re ready to leave. I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Tim said. He quickly shoved food in his mouth and gulped down his coffee. “I’ve got to go.”

Jason

You woke up frozen. You were not under any blankets and tbh your tits were like icy. Your stomach was really warm tho. You looked down to see Jason’s head between your bare breasts and his body slotted between your legs. He clung on you like a monkey and gently snored. The blankets were on the floor. The activities of the night before had you flushing. Yeah that had been fun.

You ran your fingers through his hair to wake him gently. You didn’t want to jerk him awake but you were frozen. Jason slowly stirred and rubbed his face into your bare skin before groaning.

“Fuck it’s cold,” he grumbled, wrapping himself tighter around your body.

“Get up. I’m cold,” you said and he begrudgingly released you. He stood up and you realized that you both were completely naked. He grabbed some sweatpants and threw them on before throwing the blanket on you. You snuggled in the warm fabric. You were lulled back to sleep for a few more minutes.

You woke up alone. There was a note on the dresser.

Get dressed and come downstairs to the breakfast nook Princess- Jay

You grabbed one of his black sweaters and threw it on with your pants you wore the night before. You saw Bruce slide Jason the keys and he confirmed it with you afterwards. Your mind couldn’t process that.

Jason pulled you to the breakfast nook. Dick and his new fiancé were leaving and Tim was rushing out with business. His girlfriend left shortly after. Bruce, of course, had already started working on business or whatever mysterious stuff he always did.

Jason ate every single sausage roll and the rest of the vegetables that you didn’t eat. Alfred came and sat at the table with you both. Usually not what he would do but Jason always insisted. The older man nursed a cup of coffee and you all looked out the large viewing window. You couldn’t get over how huge the place was.

“Alfred, can you tell me stories about Jason when he was a kid?” You asked and Alfred smiled.

“I have many of Master Jason’s childhood. He was always a boisterous lad. Still is I suppose,” Alfred said taking a sip of his drink. Jason smiled. He had an arm thrown over your shoulder.

“When he was 14, Jason tried to climb the chandeliers in the front entry, as Master Richard had many times. Well, Jason was probably 20 lbs heavier than Richard even at that age. The chandelier came down with a resounding bang. Jason had broken a toe. This was the morning before a gala at the Manor. Master Bruce was far from pleased,” Alfred said. You laughed.

“The chandelier got reenforced and now Dick can swing on it to his heart content. I’ll leave the acrobats to him though,” Jason said with a laugh.

“I wish I could have seen it,” you laughed.

Alfred sat with you both for the better part of an hour, just telling funny stories about the boys and Bruce. Alfred stood up.

“I really do have work to do if I hope to catch the game this afternoon. I hope you both understand. But one last thing before you go, Master Jason. Bruce has been talking about leaving you the penthouse for years. He just needed a push to finally give it to you. I hope you both enjoy it,” Alfred said before leaving the room.

“Let’s, uh, let’s get going,” Jason said abruptly. He was feeling uncomfortable emotions. It wasn’t the first time and you indulged him without asking any questions before leaving.

Bruce

He had a pounding headache when he woke up. He was hung over. He had impeccable hearing and the noises from 3 of his 4 sons rooms (as Duke and Cass had patrolled after the party) had him finding a bottle of whiskey. Was Jason purposefully being loud? At least Damian’s room was quiet. Bruce couldn’t handle that. Of course that didn’t guarantee anything. But he was willing to put up with it so that his boys could be home. But yeah, sound proofing on their bedrooms was a priority. Jesus Jason, wtf?

Giving Jason the penthouse was not a plan. But Bruce was grateful because the Jason’s Christmas list had been “gun.”

Dick’s list was “a break.” Bruce got him a pair of jet skis. That would be a good distraction.

Tim had asked for “a day off.” Bruce gave him tickets for 2 to Hvar, Croatia in January for 2 full weeks in a snowy cabin.

Damian had asked for a certain set of Wakizashi swords. He got the swords.

Alfred asked for a pasta maker and Bruce bought him a ticket to Italy for a week to pick one up.

Also: 3 days after Christmas, Tim recieved a camouflage gun themed snack gift basket with the card reading “duck next time-Jay”

#dc #batboys #christmas series #dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #Damian Waynes x reader #damian al ghul x reader #red robin x reader #yum #Robin x reader #jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #Tim drake x reader #dick Grayson fluff #Damian Wayne fluff #Tim drake fluff #Jason Todd fluff #Bruce Wayne #dad!bruce Wayne #alfred pennyworth #batboys fluff #batboys fanfic

[iayhifbigyakwiltbsywps]

Fuckkk I had something really long written but my connection failed and now I can’t find it but this is important if you or someone you know has adhd and takes stimulant medications like methylphenidate. This will probably be weird because I wrote the original like 12 hours ago and I just got home so if the other one magically reappears then they will be really different.

Basically I wanted to make people aware that taking stimulant medications has the potential to do more harm than good. I have adhd and have drank concerta since the third grade and im currently in 11th. I have been noticing throughout the 2019-now time period that I really have lost all motivation and that I don’t really have interest in anything even getting up to eat. And I was like ‘well that’s not alright’ and so I did what every one does: I googled it. I asked google “can adhd medications cause brain damage and lessen motivation?” And honestly I was not really expecting an answer, kinda just hoping to see blankness and be relived that it was just something random I thought. Boy was I surprised.

I actually found this:

This is literally the answer I was too scared to find because a) it proved my suspicions correct and did kinda bring a different kind of relief in knowing I’m not just hysteric and b) this hit wayyy too close to home. The part in blue feels wayyy too familiar to me because all I do Is be on my bed on my phone most of tinge time and my parants keep getting concerned and like “go get a job, find a hobby, do something!” And I am honestly strangely alright with my situation, like I hate it but I still don’t try to change it because I can’t!

Forgot what else I could of said there on the fist draft, but onto the next peice of evidence!

This pretty much said that this meds were tested on rats and that the rats ended up losing all motivation to even react when they should be looking to escape a bad situation. That once the medication stops we no longer have drive to motivation.

This also states that the nucleus accumbens is the part of the brain that forms motivation into action and when you take these meds your actually risking it shrinking and leading to no motivational drive.

Also that there are other options if you are convinced you or your child needs help to lead a successful life then there are other options that are not stimulants!

I also found some videos but could only resurfaced one which I think is the most important: https://youtu.be/nif8TFPhjuI

This video basically talks about one of the beginning trails of adhd medications that ended up being a huge success after the recorded 14 months that this trial was conducted, but what most people who do their research probably don’t dig deep enough to check that after they took the pills away they came back 3 years later to see how they faired. Turns out that the my were actually worse and the adhd was too much or something. ( sorry I’m trying to remember what I wrote but I only slept like 10 minutes last night and it’s already 1am so my eyes are shutting)

I can’t remember much right nos but if I find the other articles or videos Ik re log or something.

Here are the links to the articles:

https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/06/09/fewer-prescriptions-for-adhd-less-drug-abuse/adhd-drugs-have-long-term-risks

https://www.leonardsax.com/stimulants.htm

There were more but I’m fighting To stay awake right now sorry.

Oh I just remembered something:

This is what happens when you give stimulants to a brain that is underdeveloped (brains aren’t yet developed until they are like 21) so if y’all need meds try taking non stimulants or else you’ll just cause growth problems for yourself

I really hope some people find this useful and that no one goes through what I am cuz it really kinda sucks and I hate it but I can’t do much to change it.

Also after hours trying to figure out a way to tell my mom I had finally told her and you know what she said? She said “if we take you of these meds will you promise to try to care about yourself more?” And like I didn’t say anything but sure mom I totally didn’t just work up the courage to try and tell you within the day I found this informants on when it would usually take me months to say things I think are important but yeah I totally need to try a bit more ugh!

Honestly I think it’s shit that I’m not even 18 yet and I already feel like all my fight has gone out of me. Like if it weren’t for my parents that actually care about me I would of let myself starve to death. And now there’s no way to thank them because I can barely move to get food much less show them my thanks. Mom dad I love you and I’m sorry my brain if fucked up.

Hi just a little edit here, I wanted to say that both articles are by the same person I just put the second one because the link didn’t work for me so I had to look for their actual page that was mentioned. But also I read further down on the second article and I saw there are more links to other related articles in the second link where this person wrote their actual research and citations

#adhd #add #attention deficit of hyperactive disorder #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #attention deficit disorder #adhd meds #add meds #adhd medication #medications #methylphenidate #narcoleptic #narcolepsy #since they also use these stimulents. #ill tag the fandom cuz i KNOW im not the onlyone with adhd here. #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #the kings men #the raven king #tkm #trk #and more people that knoe the better. sorry this is too long! #meds are bad #actually adhd #actually add #actuallyadhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neuro divergent

[rileymustdie]

So yk how hawks lost his wings yeah so hm what if it was a different story and the reader was a healer and brought his wings back BUT it hurts her in the process that’s my request if u can do it :)

UGH YOUR MIND

•angst, death, manga spoilers

•you both were a very good match. you both got along together, plus the fact that you were a healer and he was a pro hero that was constantly in fights, yeah he adored you.

• when he would come home all bruised and cut up, you would heal him. it only caused you a small headache, plus you had a happy and snuggly boyfriend after, what could be the problem?

•you never told him that if you overuse your quirk, it hurts you. you didn’t want him to start ignoring his injuries just because he didn’t want to hurt you. the headaches weren’t that bad anyways.

•that is until he loses his wings. the doctors said there was little to no chance of them coming back he was so upset about it and you knew you had to do something. so, you offered to attempt to heal them. his eyes lit up at the offer and so you sat behind him on the bed, trying your best to focus your power on him. now you have a massive headache and nothing even happened. you tell him “maybe it just takes time?” he goes back to sleep, upset. he knows it’s not really your fault and he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up but the thought of having his wings back made him so happy.

•the next day you wake him up and ask if you can try again. you hate seeing him so upset, might as well take a few ibuprofen and get over it. he says yes so you try again, nothing happens. you lean your head on his back with a sigh. “sorry birdie, nothing happened”. he nods and you help him get up to go make breakfast.

•he notices while you were cooking that your eyebrows were furrowed and you looked a bit dizzy. he decides it’s just that you were tired. you go about the rest of your day like normal. hawks calls as many doctors as he can find to see if they can do something about his wings while you work on some household chores. you go to bed, still with the headache

•you continue trying for about a week with no results. finally, you begin to see two small bumps on his back. you tell him and he runs (stumbling a little bit) to the bathroom to see for himself. his face lights up and he picks you up and spins you around, thanking you. you stumble a bit when he puts you down. surely he didn’t put you down that hard, did he? he asks you if something is wrong, but you just brush him off and ask to go cuddle on the couch with a reassuring smile. he guesses he just put you down too hard and you both fall asleep on the couch.

•over the next month, you put more and more power into healing him. for every feather that appears on his back, another dark circle or bruise appears on you. he’s starting to get worried now, but you continue to act like you’re fine and blame it on low iron or just lack of sleep. he listens to you and you continue to heal him, but he keeps his worries in the back of his mind.

• after a few more weeks, he suggests that you should take a break from healing him. his wings are still small and not ready for actual flight, but it’s a large improvement from nothing. you tell him that you’re fine and that you need to keep healing him so he can go back to being a hero. he still tells you no, that he wants to wait until you’re feeling better. (keep in mind that you still haven’t told him that it’s hurting you) you agree with him and you go to bed that night.

•little did he know, you still healed him while he slept. of course not enough to where it would be noticeable the next morning, but you still wanted to help him.

•he started to notice that you hadn’t started to look any better over the past few weeks, and feeling so awful all the time took a toll on you too. every time you looked in the mirror, you saw the dark circles and bruises. how much weight you had lost. you looked deathly, compared to hawks. he was so bright, his muscles back to where they were originally, his hair so smooth. you felt like you should start listening to him and stop trying to heal him, until you heard him on the phone with the commission. “yeah! my partner has been healing me and my wings are coming back! i might even be able to go back to work soon!” oh no. he was no where near ready to go back, you had to work harder.

• you still continue to heal him little by little. you can no longer stand to look in the mirror or make eye contact with hawks for too long. one night before bed he’s holding you, and you start crying into his shoulder. he asks you what’s wrong, and you start explaining. you tell him how you’ve been healing him all this time, how insecure you’ve been, how sick you feel, how much you want to see him happy. you “forgot” to mention what your quirk does to you. he tries his best to comfort you and makes you promise to take a break.

•you decide to listen to him and you start to look a little better over the next few weeks. but unbeknownst to you or him, you’ve already caused permanent damage to yourself.

(also for plot reasons,, we’re going to act like hawks wouldn’t immediately take you to a doctor)

•you tell him that since you’re feeling better, you can start on healing him again. at first he shoots you down, saying that your health is more important to him than going back to work. but then he sees the look in your eyes, how you genuinely want to help him. “fine.” he says with a sigh, “once a week, but if you start feeling worse you have to tell me. deal?” “deal.”

•so, that next week you start again, and immediately you’re back to where you were. you know you should tell him, but he just looks so happy when he sees his wings growing. he only needs a few more weeks of healing and he should be able to fly again. you just have to hold on until then.

•one day, while he’s out getting groceries for the two of you, you start to feel more lightheaded than usual. you remember your phone on the couch and try to get over there to call keigo. you get to his contact, then the room goes dark. he comes home to you passed out on the couch, for a second he assumes you’re taking a nap and smiles down at you warmly. it’s only until he’s halfway through telling you about the new foods he got for the both of you to try that something was wrong. he walked over there and saw your phone was opened to his contact. he sat down next to you and asked if you were alright. no reply. he started to panic and picked you up, no response. you had a pulse going, a slow one. (a/n: i literally don’t know anything medical so i’m making this up and hoping it’s right) he immediately calls an ambulance, tears streaming down his face. “no, baby please don’t do this to me. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry. i should have payed attention more. please just be okay.” after about a minute of him sobbing into your shoulder, you start to wake up. your eyes barely open with a soft smile. he looks at you and hold you tight “what’s going on, what happened?” you give him a pained look as you start feeling numb. “i’m sorry keigo, i should have told you.” “tell me? tell me what? i don’t know what’s going on, i just walked in and you were passed out” he starts rambling, you use your last bit of strength to kiss him one last time. “you’re going to be a great hero keigo. i love you.” he stares while he processes what you said. “no, no please. don’t leave me. please there’s got to be something.” he grabs your wrist and checks for a pulse, vision blurry and shaking. nothing, you’re cold. he felt his breathing stop, his brain stopped working. the person he fell in love with so long ago, the person he spent long nights awake with talking about anything and everything, the person who greeted him with a warm and loving smile and dinner after a long day of patrol, the person who saw him at his weakest and brought him back up little by little, gone and never to return. he opened up his phone to do something, anything and there you were. the picture you had taken that day he brought you flying. your beautiful smile and that red shirt he got you for your birthday. he remembered how you said it looked so pretty next to his wings, he responded with “well, you look so pretty next to my wings” a silly response, yes, but it made you laugh and you kissed him on the cheek. he looked back at where you currently lay, grey and bony, no life left in you. all because of him. the ambulance finally arrived and they had to pry him off you. he finally got himself to stop crying so he could talk to them, but as soon as he saw them carrying you in the bag, his facade vanished and the tears started flowing again. that night on his way to bed, he saw the indentation on the bed of where you laid just that morning. he made his way to the couch, only to see your phone still on the coffee table. he started sobbing again, and fell asleep on the floor.

(tw: mentions of alcohol and suicide)

•your funeral was the next week, he went back to work the day after. he needed something to take his mind off you. he worked long hours, not caring how much his fragile and much smaller wings ached and how they could barely carry his weight. on his way home, he picked up the strongest alcohol he could get. he downed bottle after bottle and at one point, if he squinted hard enough, he could still see your sillouette.

• a month went by, he was miserable. some intern at his agency said “well, at least they died helping you. you can just get a different healer to finish the job, right?” he smacked the guy and retired then and there. he felt too much guilt, it was his fault you’re gone. just because he was too stupid to notice how bad you were getting. he stopped by your grave on his way home that night, the grass hadn’t even grown over the top. he looked at your name on the headstone. “heh, we didn’t even get to have the same last name yet. yknow, i had the ring in the drawer by the bed.” he looks down at the ground. “i know you worked so hard to fix my wings but, i hope you don’t mind too much if i joined you.” with that, he adds the roses to the growing pile of ones he brought before and heads home. the news the next morning read the title “Pro hero Hawks found dead after sudden retirement” He was with you again.

———————

okay okay i didn’t mean for this to be so long and so sad but here we are,, if you have any suggestions on how to edit it plz lmk! asks and requests are open and feedback would be appreciated! :)

#hawks angst #hawks x reader #bnha angst #keigo takami #keigo x you #keigo x reader #hawks x gender neutral reader #bnha headcanons #mha hawks

[loserclubowergang]

It Fandom Week July 15- Moral Ambiguity

@itfandomweek​

Title:  My truth and your truth

Sumary:  “I will not testify for Henry Bowers to get out of a sanitarium, he deserves to be there”

“Jupiter Asylum is torture chamber not a sanatorium."

Characters: Henry Bower(mention), Connor Bowers, Richie Totzier

Warning: f-slur,  mentions of abuse,  homophobia, death of a character

One-shot / Moodboard

Richie had been a comedian for 4 years now and he slowly began to feel that his career was growing, he was not famous but every day he felt that he was making a name among comedians. Being on stage  made him feel alive.

And while his professional life was going well, his personal life felt empty, it wasn't that he didn't have friends, he did, but his friendships felt false in some way, as if he couldn't really connect with them. Richie, although he didn’t remember them,  unconsciously seeks a bond like the one he had with the losers' club, a bond that was in fact impossible to recreate outside of Derry.

And every now and then he thought not being a comedian and living in Derry would have been worth it if he could still have friends. Real friends

But those were silly ramblings. Because even more than having friends his biggest problem was not that, no, when Richie dared to be honest with himself could he accept he never allowed himself to connect with anyone because he did not accept something important about himself.

And that's why he was here, he had come for the last 3 months to this place not daring to do anything more than order a drink at the bar. Sitting at the bar he looked at the rest of people on the dance floor, people dancing, kissing and having fun as if the world outside didn’t hate them .Richie took another sip from his glass while a man with curly blond hair was sat next to him, Richie thought to speak to him but did not put his courage together

"My name is Connor"

Richie looked at him in surprise

"Richie"

"Nice name, can I buy you a drink?”

Richie couldn't help but smile, this was unreal to him, a boy was flirting with him in a gay bar and he felt good, for the first time in a long time things felt in their place.

Connor was a lawyer , had his same age, was passionate about video games and comics and was the first person since he left Derry with Richie felt he had been able to connect, time passed quickly and before noticing were outside the Pub.

��You have something to do? Connor smiled

“Not really" Richie smiled

"Would you like to go to my apartment?"

"Yes, I would like to” Richie felt brave and confident for once as he followed Connor to his apartment.

The night had a happy ending, the real problems began the next morning.

Richie opened his eyes and realized that the night before had really happened, he couldn't help but smile as he looked at Connor lying next to him, Richie got up and looked at the room Connor's room , if it weren't for the bed, the room would look like an investigation office, there was a desk  full of papers and photos, from his work, Richie supposed, and hanging in front of the desk a cork board, without the glasses he couldn't quite discern what the papers or the photos on the board were, but getting a little closer Betty Ripsom's missing poster became clear, then George Denbrough and the rest of the missing children in the summer of 88,  he did not know what the rest of the documents were, but among all the papers he finally distinguished a different photo , the photo of Henry Bowers being arrested. 

Richie felt sick.

A sound behind him made him turn around, Connor had risen from the bed and was looking at him with a smile.

Richie looked in horror at the man in front of him. He felt he had no voice, no courage to ask.

“What is your name?”

He smiled.

“Connor Bowers at your service.”

 He had a flirty look that Richie would have love if he did not feel that his head was spinning, and at any time he would end up throwing up

“Bowers, as in?”

Connor then noticed what Richie had been watching, Connors smiles disappeared, he look at him with bitterness, understanding what just happened.

“Yes, like Henry Bowers, he is my cousin.”

Richie saw everything black and could barely think "well at least I didn't throw up" as he passed out. 

Richie opened his eyes slowly, his gaze was blurry but he knew it was from the lack of glasses, Connor was on the floor next to him,   his blue eyes looking at him with concern.

“Are you good?”

“Yes , I forgot to put my glasses on in the morning and that causes me vertigo, don't worry.”

Connor looked at him incredulously once Richie was composed enough to sit on the floor noticed that Connor had the gaze on his cork board , time lines time of the summer when everything happened, roles of prosecutors, claims against Jupiter Hill , petitions for a new trial and another pile of papers that had not achieved anything, they were years of working on something that seemed to not get anywhere, every day of work that did not achieve anything he considered himself to stop trying but Connor knew he could not , Henry was his only living family and even more important it was an injustice what his cousin had experienced.

Connor helped Richie to sit on the bed where they had slept and bit his lip, maybe it was not appropriate to ask but his case had been stalled for months and maybe he could help him .

"So you're from Derry?"

Richie still felt sick , that summefr had turned his head very abruptly, the memories were more neat in some way but the were too bizarre to be true, there wasn’t  a monster in the sewers of Derry, they were only children’s fantasies, right? It had to be, the only monster in Derry was indeed Henry Bowers, and he had just slept with his cousin, Richie felt like he was going to throw up but forced himself not to.

"Yes, I lived there until I was 17"

"So you were there the summer of 88" Connor knew he was pushing his luck, the people of Derry hated talking about that summer, so many people died that summer that it was almost impossible not having lost someone close in the process. Just knowing his last name, the Derry people wanted to kill him, but Richie didn't seem like that kind of person.

"Yes, I was." Richie went away and Connor looked blurry without his glasses but still her mind recognized or as the guy in Arcade , Richie recalled that afternoon that feeling of being out of place had begun for him, he no longer wanted to be here , all this brought back bad memories, memories of things that should not have happened . The Neibolt house, the clown, Eddie breaking his arm.

God, Eddie, how he was able to forget Eddie?

"If you were there, you could answer a few quick questions?"

Richie wanted to shout no and get out of there, get out as far as possible and not think of Derry, or Henry Bowers, or the summer of '88, but the blurred images of Eddie were becoming clearer in his memories and he felt that if he left the department he would forget him again and he did not want that, he wanted to remember Eddie

"I think so."

Connor smiled, it seemed to fill him with hope that he could do this, Connor began to ask questions of Derry, people, places and events that Richie thought were forgotten but were really only hidden in his memory, for the first time in many years Richie remembered the Losers club, he remembered Stan's face and Bill's stuttering voice, and he clearly remembered Eddie and everything he'd ever felt for him. 

And along with those memories of Eddie, the feelings of guilt and shame, feelings that he had unknowingly carried him all his life, feelings that ended up consuming him the day that the man asking him questions in front of him had unnecessarily and cruelly rejected him.

The humiliation of having Henry Bowers yell at him that he was a fag, and the fear that everyone believed it, because it was true.

The shame, fear and guilt that day had gone from being a brief feeling every time he wished to kiss Eddie to becoming a weight that would hold him back the rest of his life.

Connor's voice pulled him out of the storm of memories that was his mind.

“Can you testify in court?”

Connor looked at him hopefully, Richie wanted to throw up

"No."

"Why?"

“I will not testify for Henry Bowers to get out of a sanitarium, he deserves to be there”

“Jupiter Asylum is torture chamber not a sanatorium."

“That is not my fault.”

“You can’t be so apathetic with the suffering of people.”

“I can be apathetic with the suffering of my abuser."

There was a horrible silence between the two, Richie had anger in his eyes, and Connor looked at him sadly.

"I'm very sorry for whatever Henry did to hurt you, but his penance is not equivalent to his crime."

Jupiter Hill was a torture room, in addition to the lack of real psychiatric and medical treatment, the nurses seemed to have fun electrocuting patients as pseudo therapy or leaving them sedated for days, patients in Jupiter Hill were constantly physical and verbal assaults and that was just the abuse that they let see with a simple glance. Of course, all this was ignored by the people since the inmates at Jupiter Hill were criminals before they were people and they did not deserve a human treatment, let's not even mention appropriate help to deal with their mental illnesses.

Seeing Henry terrified of the guards and nurses on Jupiter Hill was the most painful thing that Connor was forced to see, it made him see that Henry had never been able to escape from the abuses and terrors that he had lived through his childhood.

"You don't know how difficult it has been for me to forget what your cousin put me through, I don't have a reason to help him” 

Richie looked at him with disdain, if Henry was having a bad time, good, he deserved it. and if the justice system did his job badly and the mental hospitals were torture chamber , it was a shame but it was not his problem.

Connor watched him with hate, but what he really felt was tired, he was so fucking tired, tired and sad to have this discussion, to listen to one person after another talking about Henry like a monster, the people of Derry always talked about him as if they had not allowed a child to live for years with someone as aggressive and cruel as Oscar Bowers , as if Henry had never talked about seeing shadows and hearing strange noises , they spoke as if there was no way to stop Henry from getting worse every day

“Henry was 14 , he was a kid. And they made him carry all the adult mistakes. "

Richie already knew that , Henry had been a scapegoat for the incompetence of the Derry police,  and it was difficult to look back, to think about the children they were, it was difficult to remember Henry as a child and not as his bully, it was difficult because the adult in him knew it was the right thing to do but the child who was still hurt and terrified did not care what was right  because Henry did not deserve his forgiveness after what he had put him through

“Yes, you are right, we were children and it is not fair but it’s not my problem and I am not going to help him."

Connor looked at him with disbelieve.

“Do you really want to be that kind of adult? The one who ignores that something bad is happening and washes his hands. "

Richie felt a stroke of guilt because he was exactly the kind of grown-up to fill the streets of Derry, the kind of grown-up who would let the life of a 14-year-old become hell and at the same time leave behind a child killer loose , because it seemed more comfortable than doing the right thing.

"No,  is not the kind of adult I want to be, but sadly  is the person I am, and I am not proud but I am not going to help him, because honestly it makes me a little happy that he is having a bad time "

Connor, if he had been the same boy from long ago, would have broken his nose for his cynicism, but he bit his lip and swallowed his anger.

"Get out of my house."

"As you like."

Richie took his things and left the place, the further he went , the experience became more surreal, almost as if he had dreamed it.

Over the weeks  go back Richie have more difficult to remember what had happened at Connors house until just one  day he did not remember at all and all memories of Derry would become buried imagines again and Richie did not return to think about Connor or Henry Bowers until he stuck an ax in Henrys head in order to save Mike and for a second all the memories of that day came back, looking at the corpse of Henry Bowers he feel the worst remorse he had ever experienced in his life, in part because if he had helped Connor Henry might not be here, but especially because  Connor would never know what had happened to his cousin, the remorse was overwhelming , Richie took a breath and forced himself not to cry, he again felt sick like that day at Connor's house, even worse, this time he couldn't help throwing up.

Who knows , maybe if he had helped Henry, they would have been able to escape the control of It, maybe the good actions have their reward, because seeing Henry's corpse and seeing himself having to face the damn clown again, he realized that when you washed your hands and ignored the problem it doesn't solve a shit.

#henry bowers #connor bowers #richie totzier #itfandomweek #it fandom week

[haikyuupaladin]

One Day

Since today is Epilepsy Awareness day, I thought I’d write a fic that raises some awareness for epilepsy. It’s a day in Asahi’s life with epilepsy. I hope you all enjoy! See the end for some important notes!

***

Asahi groaned as he rolled over in bed and looked at his alarm clock. His eyes blew open in surprise when he saw how late it was. “Shit. I’m going to be late for practice.” He ran to the bathroom with his volleyball clothes in hand, splashing his face with water, brushing his teeth, and quickly taking his meds as he tried to get dressed as quickly as possible at the same time. Once he’d done that, he threw some bread in the toaster and scrambled to make sure he had everything he needed for the day in his backpack and gym bag. When the toast was done, he quickly grabbed everything and ran out the door, eating the toast as he ran to practice.  

“Sorry I’m late!” He called out as he burst through the doors of the gym, trying to catch his breath.

“Oi, Azumane!” Coach Ukai called out and he winced. He’d only been back on the team for a week. This was not the impression he wanted to make on the new coach. “Warm up and then I want to talk to you for a bit!”

“Ok!” Asahi yelped. A week of being back and he was sure to get kicked off the team already at this rate. Coach Ukai probably thought he was being lazy and avoiding practice, never mind the fact that the rest of the team had just barely finished their warmups when he’d made it there. Their last coach had been super strict about attendance and Daichi had said that the new coach was his grandson, so Asahi was wary. 

He did his warmups as carefully as possible, putting off the lecture he was sure to receive, but eventually, there was nothing more he could do to warmup. He slowly stride over to where Coach Ukai was sitting on the bench, flipping through something on his clipboard. 

“Sit,” the man gestured to the bench beside him, and Asahi reluctantly joined him.

“I really am sorry I was late today coach, it won’t happen again! I must’ve slept through my alarm but I promise I’ll make sure I’m early tomorrow to make up for it!” Asahi started rambling until he was given a strange look and interrupted.

“What? No no no, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. You’re like… five minutes late, it’s not a big deal as long as you don’t make it a habit to be late every day.” Asahi let out a sigh of relief. 

“What did you want to talk to me about then?” Asahi asked, wracking his brain for any other topics he should be worried about.

“The school just finally gave me your file,” Ukai told him and Asahi froze. 

“If this is about that fight with Noya last year I promise that won’t happen again either!” Asahi panicked.

Ukai gave him a deadpan stare. “Will you let me finish what I’m saying before you start panicking?! You’re not in trouble, that was already dealt with and frankly, as long as it doesn’t affect the team going forward,  I don’t really care. What I do care about is the fact that I’m technically responsible for you kids now. I wanted to talk to you about the medical section of your records.”

Asahi sighed, in relief but also frustration. “Oh. That. Yeah, I have epilepsy, it shouldn’t interfere with volleyball though. Well except for some of my doctor’s appointments but I can schedule those around anything major. I haven’t had a seizure in a year and a half and on the off chance something did happen, all the third years and Tanaka and Noya know and they all know what to do.” By the time he was halfway through his explanation, Asahi was no longer sure if he was trying to reassure the coach or himself. Just because his meds were working, didn’t mean there wasn’t the possibility of a breakthrough seizure at any time, and if that happened, it could interfere with volleyball, and that was the absolute last thing he wanted. 

“Is there anything I should look out for?” Ukai pressed. 

“Trust me, if something happens, you’ll know,” he laughed,  slightly bitter. 

“I know that kid,” groaned Ukai. “I meant like… before.”

“Not really,”  Asahi shrugged. “My parents say they can tell by my eyes but I don’t really know what they mean by that.” 

Ukai nodded. “And let’s say something does happen, what should I do?” 

“Mainly just time it and get anything I can hurt myself on away from me” Asahi mumbled wanting to get away from this conversation now. He knew the coach was trying to be helpful, but talking about it like this was making him more nervous that something would happen, and that was the last thing he wanted to think about right now. “Can I go join practice now?” 

“Sure,” Ukai pinched the bridge of his nose, looking frustrated. “Just… let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Asahi nodded cautiously before running off to join the rest of the team in spiking drills. 

***

“What was that all about earlier?” Suga asked when they stopped for a water break. 

“You’re not in trouble or anything are you? I can talk to coach if you are,” Daichi chimed in.

“It was nothing like that,” Asahi shook his head, appreciating his friends’ concern. “He wanted to talk about my epilepsy.”

Suga raised an eyebrow at that. “Really? He does know you haven’t had a seizure since first year, right?”

“I mean, it makes sense though,” Daichi shrugged. “I don’t think he has any experience with that sort of stuff, makes sense he’d be a little freaked out I guess.” 

Kiyoko nodded quietly beside him. 

“It was kind of embarrassing though,” Asahi admitted, whining. 

“Why?” Daichi laughed.

“I’m pretty sure none of the first years even noticed,” Kiyoko said, placing a hand on Asahi's back comfortingly. 

“Hinata and Kageyama definitely didn’t,” Suga said, eyes sparkling with laughter. “They were too busy fighting, I’m not even sure what started it,but Tsukishima was encouraging it.”

“And you were doing nothing to stop it,” Daichi pointed out. “I can’t believe you’re my vice captain sometimes.”

“Hey! Let me have my fun!” Suga complained. “I would’ve stepped in if it got out of control but it was amusing and you seemed to have it under control anyway.”

Asahi relaxed as the conversation turned towards the antics of the first years. Suga always knew just how to steer the conversation how he wanted to, and not for the first time, Asahi was glad that Suga used that for his benefit sometimes. 

***

The rest of practice had gone by without incident, Kiyoko and Suga were right, nobody else had even noticed Coach Ukai calling him over, or if they did they’d chosen not to ask about it. The conversation had made Asahi more aware of potential auras than usual though, and it had been hard to focus in class. He had a weird headache for a bit during third period and he’d spent most of class muttering to himself and fidgeting with his hands, trying to focus on the fact that his jaw and hands seemed to be working just fine, finding reassurance in that, though he was still nervous.  He’d have to ask Kiyoko for the notes later. 

It was lunchtime now though, and Asahi hoped that his friends would be a welcome distraction from his worries. “Asahi! Hey!” Noya called out as Asahi exited his classroom. He chuckled fondly and shook his head.

“Hey Noya, what’s up?” 

Noya regaled Asahi with stories of his day as they walked to meet up with Daichi, Suga, and Tanaka. How Noya always had so much to say, Asahi would never know but he was grateful for it right now, the conversation kept him from getting too stuck in his own head. He grinned as they spotted the others and joined them, the rest of his worries melting away for the moment as they fell into easy conversation, Daichi scolding Noya and Tanaka for their antics as Suga egged them on. 

After practice, Daichi, Suga, and Kiyoko walked home with Asahi for their weekly movie night. He’d been avoiding them during his time off the team, but it was nice to see how quickly they fell back into these old habits with him. He’d missed Daichi and Suga’s teasing and their laughter and how they would jostle him around, and he’d missed how Kiyoko would giggle at their antics despite her halfhearted futile attempts to get them to behave.

He was even more grateful for how easily they fell back into old habits when the movie they chose ended up having more flashing lights than he remembered. On another day he might’ve been able to brush it off and keep watching, but despite having calmed down from earlier, he was still being more vigilant than usual, so he covered his eyes and looked away. Suga noticed and paused the movie.

“Shit, sorry Asahi, we forgot how bad this part can get. You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Asahi mumbled, a little self conscious about how nervous he was. On any other day he’d be able to handle this so it was a little embarrassing to be avoiding them right now.

“So how are we doing this?” Daichi asked casually. “Different movie or do you want us to narrate for you?”

Asahi laughed. He’d almost forgotten how easily his friends adapted to these situations for him. 

“Narrating’s fine. We all like this movie and if we have to pick a new one we’ll have to reschedule movie night with how long it’ll take us to decide.”

Daichi laughed. “That’s true. Ok then, you ready to start back up?” 

Asahi nodded, and soon the room was filled with more laughter than before as Daichi and Suga humorously described what was going on, with Kiyoko chiming in with quiet corrections or details that the other two were forgetting to mention. Asahi couldn’t help but laugh at some of the descriptions his friends were using and his heart filled with warmth as his friends did their best to make sure he didn’t miss anything about the movie, even throwing in some of their usual jokes about the movie in their descriptions.

***

Later that night, Asahi’s friends escorted themselves out and headed home. He still lay on the couch, too tired to move, but groaning as he knew he had to. He wanted to pass out on the couch, but he had to go take his nighttime dose of his meds. He lay there for a few more minutes before finally deciding if he didn’t get up now, he wasn’t going to be able to and dragging himself off the couch. He walked drowsily to the bathroom, blearily took his meds and then stumbled to bed. It had been a long day, but a good one, he smiled to himself as he fell asleep.

*** 

Notes time! First I want to make it clear that the medical side of things depicted here is based on my personal epilepsy and should not be read as a one size fits all type of deal. 

Second, Ukai’s assumption that it will be noticeable when Asahi has a seizure is accurate for Asahi, but not for everyone. Some types of seizures are barely noticeable on the outside, if at all, and even then you have o know what you’re looking for. 

Third, Asahi’s explanation of seizure first aid is not a complete explanation, for more on seizure first aid please look at https://www.epilepsy.com/living-epilepsy/seizure-first-aid-and-safety (I’m not making it a link so it will show up in the tags, but I have provided the entire url).

Fourth, an aura is a warning sign or set of warning signs leading up to a seizure. Not everyone has one, and it can be hard to recognize it if you do sometimes. 

And fifth, Please take today as an opportunity to learn more about epilepsy. www.epilepsy.com and www.talkaboutit.org are my personal favorite starting points to recommend, as well as reading through some of the blogs in the epilepsy community here on tumblr. 

#Epilepsy #epilepsy awareness #asahi azumane #karasuno third years #daichi sawamura #sugawara koushi #ukai keishin #kiyoko shimizu #actually epileptic #haikyuu!!

[chelsfic]

Leftovers Part 9 - Nandor the Relentless x Reader Fanfic

Previous parts: Masterlist

A/N: Quick note-- most roller derby leagues don’t actually take a break from practicing during the off-season *shrug.* Hey, hey, hey, guys? Let me know what you think! I am an ACTUAL ENERGY VAMPIRE, but I feed off your kind words and support--love you!

Summary: Nandor is on the reader’s shit list, but will they reunite when a minor medical emergency pops up? (yes)

Warnings: Female Reader-insert, Angst, Medical shit (migraines, lasting effects of the vamp attack at the rave), Hypnotism

---

“Guillermooo! I’m ready for my slumber now!” Nandor bellows, standing impatiently by his open coffin and waiting for his familiar to arrive so he can complete his bedtime routine.

Guillermo appears, huffing and puffing, a moment later, “I’m sorry, master! I forgot…”

“Well, that’s unacceptable, Guillermo!,” Nandor whines with a scowl. “You’re my familiar. It’s your job to remember these things. You’d think after five years--”

“Eleven,” Guillermo interjects with a pained smile. “Eleven years, master.”

Nandor looks momentarily shocked before regaining his momentum, “Okay...Eleven years… Fine. You’d think that you would remember to come and help me get ready for bed. It’s not that difficult.”

Guillermo lets the scolding roll off his back. He knows his master is hurting. In truth, Nandor hasn’t wanted Guillermo’s help at bedtime in weeks. It’s only now that his coffin is feeling a little lonely that he’s reverting back to his old ways. Guillermo rushes to untie his master’s cravat and helps him slip off the heavy cape. The vampire looks temporarily mollified.

“Very well,” Nandor sniffs, taking Guillermo’s hand as he steps up into the coffin. “I forgive you.”

“Thank you, master,” Guillermo smiles lightly and moves to take hold of the coffin’s lid. Nandor suddenly reaches up to stop him.

“Guillermo…” he fidgets and avoids eye contact as he asks, “Do you think she’ll be angry with me for much longer?”

Guillermo looks down at his master, feeling contrary ties of loyalty tugging on him as he decides what to say.

In the end he takes pity on Nandor, reaching down to pat his soft hair and murmuring, “I’m sure she’ll forgive you soon, master.”

“Thank you, Guillermo,” Nandor sighs, shutting his eyes and crossing his hands over his chest. “You’re a good familiar.”

He gently closes the lid, feeling a happy swell in his chest despite his concern. It’s been a few days since the orgy and his friend still hasn’t shown any signs of forgiving Nandor. He knows she’s hurt, but Guillermo silently hopes things will smooth over soon. An angsty vampire makes for an unhappy familiar.

---

After Nandor let you out of the basement you ran to the shower, dousing yourself in steaming water to chase the chill out of your body. But no matter how many hot showers or layers of clothing you put on, you can’t ever seem to warm up. At least not on the inside. In the span of just a few days you’ve gone from the heights of happiness to the dumps of misery. The worst part is that you’re not even angry anymore. You’re numb to it. All you want is to fall back into Nandor’s arms and let him make you feel good like no one else has.

But…

It’s not that he slept with who knows how many people at the orgy. It’s not even that he locked you in a basement and forgot about you. It’s that he treated you like a thing. Like his possession, whose feelings and thoughts are insignificant in the face of almost eight hundred years of immortal life. For a little while Nandor made you feel special, and then he’d gone and ruined it.

You don’t even have your usual outlet! Bout season is over and practice won’t start up again for another month. And to make matters even better: all this drama seems to be aggravating your stupid brain because, for the first time in weeks, you’re feeling the dragging ache in your head left by the vampire attack at the rave. It’s been a dull, throbbing pain for a couple days now, but tonight it’s grown into a pulsing, stomach-churning migraine. You lock yourself up in your room with the lights off. The housemates probably assume you’re brooding over Nandor. But mostly...you’re just in pain. And scared.

It’s after midnight and the pain shows no signs of diminishing. You finally drag yourself out of your room, squinting blearily against the blinding glare of the candlelight, and seeking out one of the two licensed drivers in the house.

---

“The closest urgent care is on Richmond, but according to the Google reviews, we’ll have shorter wait times if we drive a bit farther to the one on Victory Boulevard. Of course, it’s entirely up to you but--”

“Colin,” you interrupt, your voice barely above a whisper, “can you please take me to the closest one and maybe try to resist the urge to feed? I already feel like shit.”

Colin pauses, tightening his fingers on the steering wheel and saying, quietly, “I wasn’t...I was just trying to be helpful.”

You immediately feel guilty and then you question if, in fact, he’s still feeding. Being friends with an energy vampire is...draining.

He drives you to the urgent care, walking inside the crowded waiting area with you and taking charge of your intake paperwork. Okay, now you could kiss him, because bureaucracy is like Colin’s native language and you’re pretty sure he uses some of his power to manipulate the staff into getting you seen sooner. In under an hour you’re leaving with a prescription and feeling a little less anxious about the possibility that you might drop dead from an aneurysm. 

You’re pulling out of the pharmacy parking lot and back out onto the road when a small, squeaking, flying thing suddenly soars through your open window and erupts in the backseat, transforming into your dark, sullen vampire lover. 

You shriek in alarm, looking out the window and noting the lightening sky on the horizon. Your heart jumps up into your throat, “Nandor! What are you doing, it’s almost daybreak!”

Nandor sits forward in his seat and leans in close to you as he speaks, “Guillermo told me you have been to the human medical shamans! What is wrong, my human?”

“It’s...nothing, Nandor. I’ll be fine. I had a bad migraine,” you mumble. You’re too exhausted to be having this conversation.

Nandor continues, unphased, “Then you should have come to me, not fucking Colin Robinson!”

“Why?” you blurt out, suddenly done with avoiding the hurt you’ve been dwelling in for days. “Because you care about me? Or because I’m your property?”

Nandor looks bewildered, “You are my human…”

You shake your head violently, turning away in your seat with an angry growl.

“...And I do care, my love…”

Sighing, you fix your eyes on the metal guardrail at the side of the road as it flashes by. Colin Robinson is sitting rigid in the driver’s seat, beaming as he gulps down the emotions flooding the vehicle. Nandor reaches out to curl his fingers through your hair just as the first rays of sunlight break over the horizon.

“Nandor, the sun!” you cry, all thoughts of your hurt and anger flying from your head. You turn around in your seat to lock eyes with your lover for one meaningful instant before he transforms into his bat form. 

You scramble for the purse at your feet, upending it onto the floor before holding it up and frantically gesturing to the flapping little bat in the backseat. 

“Get in, baby!” you plead, uncertain of how much communication actually gets through in this form.

You breathe a shaky sigh of relief as Nandor flies into the bag, curling up at the bottom with a frightened squeak. 

“Fucking hell,” you mumble. Your heart is racing in your chest. Cautiously, you open the purse to peer inside at the furry, winged creature who is...your boyfriend. You reach in and gingerly stroke your fingers over his little head. The bat’s teeth close on one finger in an affectionate, soft bite. “You’re okay now…”

Colin Robinson pulls up outside the house and turns to you with his eyes blazing, “Well, this has been quite the night!”

---

You carry Bat-Nandor into his room, taking him out of your bag and gently placing him in the fur-lined coffin. Even though you’re expecting it, you can’t help but jump back when he transforms before your eyes. You’re still not used to witnessing actual magic. 

He looks up at you with a look that’s all soft, liquid eyes and remorseful submission. 

“Will you stay with me?” he asks diffidently, toying with a tuft of rich fur on the coffin lining. “Please?”

You weigh your options. On the one hand you really miss falling asleep in Nandor’s strong arms, with the comforting scent of him wrapped around your body like a blanket. And when you pause for a moment you realize that the ache in your head hasn’t bothered you since he flew into Colin Robinson’s car. 

On the other hand…

“Is there anything you want to say to me, first?” you prompt, arching your brow expectantly. 

Nandor swallows his pride, thinking back to those horrible days when Guillermo left him for fucking Celeste. He sits up and takes your hand in his as he says, “I’m sorry I treated you like a belonging and not a person. I appreciate you very much. And I--I love you. And also, I’m sorry for forgetting about you and Guillermo in the basement…it probably won’t happen again.”

You let out a laugh, tears stinging your eyes as you reply, “I love you too, Nandor. And...I’m sorry, too. I don’t even care anymore about the stupid orgy anymore. But I should have...tried to understand it more. I think.”

Nandor sits up, grasping your face between his hands and pulling you in closer. 

“I wanted you with me at my side, my mortal,” he hisses, dropping little kisses onto your lips. “One day you will be. I’ll make you a vampire and together we will be the life of every vampire orgy. We’ll feast on virgin blood and make love until the end of time.”

Before you can form anything approaching a reaction, he claims your mouth with his, sucking your lower lip and pushing his tongue forward to tangle with yours. You cling to the fur collar of his coat, hanging on for dear life as your knees go weak. Every time you kiss it feels like you’re diving into a hot spring, losing yourself so deliciously to the sensation of his touch.

“You want that don’t you, my mortal?” he pants against your lips, reaching down to casually lift you off your feet and settle you on his lap. “Immortal life? Immortal love?”

He pauses kissing you and you rest your cheek against the top of his head, enjoying the soft brush of his hair against your skin. Do you want that? To be a vampire? To never see the sun again? To drink blood to live? To never say goodbye to this beautiful, idiot man you seem to love?

“Yes, Nandor,” you murmur, pressing your lips into his hair and breathing his scent. “I do.”

He leans his head back and kisses you once more, running his lips over your cheeks, your jaw, the long column of your exposed throat.

“Uhm!” you interrupt, a little panicked. “But not this minute, right? You have to give me some warning…”

Nandor chuckles, smoothing his hands up and down your back in reassurance.

“No, mortal. Dawn isn’t exactly an ideal time to make a new vampire…”

“Oh...okay, good,” you sigh, settling down into his arms once more. “Because I have one condition…”

---

A little while later, you’re sealed up, snug as a bug in Nandor’s coffin, with his arms wrapped around you and your face tucked into the crook of his neck. You press a kiss to his cool skin and his chest rumbles with a satisfied purr. For the first time in hours and hours your skull doesn’t feel like it’s about to crack in two and you ponder the reason for that. Of course, like all vampires, Nandor has the power of hypnosis. Maybe his very presence has a soothing effect? Like he transmits a frequency that cancels out whatever that asshole did to you?

“Nandor?” you whisper, unsure if he’s fallen asleep yet or not.

“Yes, my mortal?” he answers at once, tightening his arms around you.

“When I’m with you my head doesn’t hurt so bad… But, do you think--do you think that vampire did some kind of...lasting damage?” the question has been on the back of your mind ever since the attack but you’ve been too afraid to give a voice to your worry. 

A low growl escapes his throat as he replies, “That shit chicken vampire hurt you because he can’t even hypnotize correctly.”

“But...” you pause, steeling yourself. Are you really about to put this level of trust in him? “You can fix it, can’t you?”

Nandor pauses, swallowing down a lump of nerves as he considers. He wants nothing more than to make you feel better. But there was the time he and Laszlo gave Sean the brain scramblies…

But this time would be different. He would be so, so gentle. So careful…

He raises the lid of the coffin, sitting up and pulling you with him. A few candles still flicker from the tables around the room, forgotten in his eagerness to have you in his arms. Nandor’s pale skin glows faintly in the low light, the lines of his body lost in shadows. 

“Look into my eyes, little human,” he commands, his voice is deep and drawling. 

You obey, looking up at him as your body visibly trembles. You’re frightened.

“Shh,” Nandor hushes, running his hands up your arms and settling them onto your shoulders. “I’m going to take care of you.”

You nod, remembering how fragile and weak he’d felt when you’d carried his bat-form in your hands. You can give him the same trust. You can put yourself in his hands now and know that he won’t hurt you.

His dark eyes burn with intensity as he continues, “You are now under my command…”

---

A/N: I require CAKES AND CREAMS!! Candies and streamers and sticky, sticky toffee! Actually I just need some soft comments because I AGONIZED over this??!?!?!?! 

Tags:

@festering-queen @kandomeresbitch @strangestdiary @glitterportrait @scuzmunkie @redwoodshadows @sarasxe​ @rileyomalley​

#nandor the relentless #nandor #nandor x reader #nandor the relentless x reader #nandor the relentless fanfic #nandor the relentless imagine #wwdits fanfic #what we do in the shadows

[captain-josslett]

Hospitalised Part Two

(Part One) 

Summary: Emma gets very ill while having sister night with Kara and Alex.

Words: 4.5k+

Warnings: Vomit, Needles, Mentions of Blood, Pain, Claustrophobia, Angst, Fluff

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor (Eventual), Alex Danvers x Sam Arias

Okayyyy. So I’ve been working on this all week. Humming and ahhing it this was good enough. But I’m just gonna most it. There should be a part 3 at some point! I hope this is okay!

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @thewitchandtheassassin , @natasha-danvers , @life-is-hella-unfair , @finleyfray​, @supergirl-writingz​

It has been five days since Emma Danvers was admitted into the hospital and her own private room. Many tests have been performed, one being an ultrasound where the technician confirmed Emma’s gallbladder was overflowing with stones. Causing her sister’s to hug her close.

More tests were scheduled for later in the week after the antibiotics should have taken out most of the infection in Emma’s liver. The test Emma is dreading the most is getting an MRI. Alex had to tell her all the calming techniques she knew to prepare Emma for when she is slid into the claustrophobic space.

But in the early hours of the morning Emma’s jaundice, hazel green eyes snap open as a familiar pain shoots through her body.

“Fuck!” She cries through gritted teeth. She slowly sits up and rocks her body to try and relieve the stabbing pain in her chest, right shoulder and back. But she feels no relief. “Please stop!” Emma whimpers desperately.

“Em?” Kara’s sleepy voice calls out from the bed next to her in the darkened hospital room.

But all Emma can do is respond in pained gasps and moans. She’s suddenly blinded by a light being turned on. Revealing Kara standing next to her bed.

“Oh Em!” Kara reaches out and feel’s Emma’s sweaty forehead. “I’m gonna get help!” Kara turns to rush out of the hospital room but stops when her baby sister takes a hold of her arm.

“Stay.” Emma wheezes. “Button.”

“Duh, sorry.” Kara rolls her eyes at herself, in her sleepy mind she forgot about the simple technology in the room. She presses the button on the wall to alert the nurse on duty.

The corner of Emma’s right lip goes up slightly in a smile and she weaves her fingers through Kara’s. Her sister gently squeezes her hand, hating how helpless she feels and at how yellow and pale Emma looks. How she’s constantly rocking.

“Glasses. Please.” Emma hates her thick rimmed glasses but she hates not being able to see more.

“Of course! Here.” Kara opens up the glasses and places them in Emma’s other hand. Emma puts them on and the room focuses.

“Good Morning Emma.” Emma’s favourite nurse, Sarah, enters the room and approaches the sister’s immediately. Looking over the machines and tapping on her tablet. “Where’s the pain?”

“The usual. Was. Asleep.” Emma gasps out, trying to breathe through the pain. Her head lolled back and forth repeatedly.

“Okay, from a scale of 1 to 10?”

“9.” Emma grits out. Kara gently squeezes her hand again and Emma weakly squeezes back.

“Okay, I’m going to give you some more morphine to help you feel more comfortable.” Sarah quickly gets to work and after a while Emma is able to lean back on the raised bed. The morphine taking effect and helping her body start to relax. “Better?” Sarah asks as she takes Emma’s temperature and blood pressure.

“Yea, a 7.”

Sarah nods and writes some notes on the tablet in her hand. “I’ll contact the Doctors to let them know you’ve had another attack. We’ll need to do another blood test.”

Emma shrugs her shoulders at her. Needles used to scare her but after being poked and prodded so much her fear has lessened.

“Atta girl!” The nurse smiles brightly and starts the process of the blood test.

“So I was thinking.” Kara starts suddenly making Emma look at her in surprise. “I still can’t see why you prefer The Little Mermaid to Beauty and The Beast!”

A laugh escapes Emma’s lips. Knowing Kara is trying to distract her. “It’s because of Ursula. I mean her voice is incredible. And the laugh! Plus I love ‘Part Of Your World’ more than any song in Beauty and The Beast.”

“But the ballroom scene -!”

“Sharp scratch.” Sarah calls out.

“Is wonderful and I still cry at it.” Emma smiles at Kara’s horrified face. She grimaces slightly when she feels the needle go in. “But it always bugs me how a Prince doesn’t know how to read. Or the fact the fairy turned him into the beast when he was a kid.”

“All done!” The nurse smiles at the sister’s and cleans Emma up.

“Thank you Sarah.” Emma says gratefully and she waits for the nurse to leave the room. “Sorry I woke you.” Emma says softly to her sister.

“Don’t be, it’s what I’m here for.” Kara reaches up and cups Emma’s face. Rubbing her thumb over her cheek.

“But you’ve had a busy day.” Emma whines, knowing Kara worked at Catco and then many hours Supergirling around the city.

“The joys of the work I do.” Kara jokes. “But you are so much more important Em.”

Emma smiles but she feels her eyes growing heavy. The painkillers taking full effect.

“Looks like someone needs to go back to sleep.” Kara says while kissing Emma’s head.

Emma nods slightly. She can’t remember the last time she’s slept solidly and feels refreshed after. Which annoys Emma greatly as she loves sleep.

Kara turns to go back to the spare bed but Emma holds on to her hand. “Stay?” Her weak voice broke Kara’s heart.

“Sure.”

Emma budges over and Kara climbs up on the bed. holding Emma close to her.

“Love you.” Emma says while yawning.

“Love you too little one.” Kara carefully removes Emma’s glasses and places them on the table next to them.

“Only a year younger.” Emma breathes out, feeling herself relaxing in her sister’s arms.

“Yea.” Kara strokes Emma’s blonde hair trying to soothe her. She smiles while listening to her sister’s breathing getting deeper and her heart rate slowing down as she falls asleep.

Kara wakes up to the sound of soft voices. The superhero slowly lifts her head and blinks the sleep away. Across the room on the sofa’s is Alex and Eliza, looking over a tablet.

It seems her mother instinct kicks in because Eliza looks up at her two daughters on the bed and sees Kara is awake. Eliza smiles, quietly gets up and makes her way to the bed. Alex follows behind her, still looking over the tablet in her hands.

“Morning Kara.” Eliza says as she leans down and gives Kara a kiss on her cheek. Her eyes shifted to Emma, snuggled into Kara’s neck.

“Morning.” Kara can’t help but let out a yawn.

“I see she had another attack last night.” Alex whispers scrolling through the information on the tablet.

Kara sighs heavily. “Yea, she was fine when we went to sleep but I woke up to her cursing in pain.”

“My poor baby.” Eliza reaches down and strokes Emma’s blonde hair. “I can see what you mean by how jaundice she looks. And you said it suddenly happened?”

“Yes.” Alex looks up from the tablet. “She was fine a week ago, nothing was wrong other than how tired she was.”

“Yea, but she was sleeping a lot more. I just took it as her period was coming up.” Kara whispers as she rubs a hand against Emma’s back.

“But the day she was admitted I did think her colour looked off. I did notice the signs and I’m angry I didn’t do anything about it.” Alex growls in frustration.

“We can’t change what’s in the past.” Eliza says gently.

Alex nods and goes to get a chair for her Mom and herself. Kara happily stays on the bed, being Emma’s pillow. The three women quietly talk until suddenly Emma bolts up.

“I’m gonna be sick!”

Alex leaps into action and grabs a sick bowl just in time. Kara jumps off the bed, aware her body heat could cause Emma more discomfort. She presses the call button again. Eliza holds Emma’s hair back and puts it in a loose ponytail. She frowns at the pain Emma is in. How her baby daughter rocks back and forth as she heaves. The tears streaming down her pale cheeks.

“Another one?” Sarah says as she quickly rushes in.

“Yes, she suddenly sat up saying she was about to be sick.”

“Poor Emma. Here.” Sarah hands Alex a new bowl while taking the partly full one. She gathers more painkillers and anti sickness medication and injects them into Emma’s cannula. “There you go Emma, you should feel that relief soon.”

Emma nods weakly as she dry heaves. Her eyes squeezed tightly shut. “I wanna go home.” She whimpers causing her sisters and Mom’s heart to break.

“I know baby girl.” Eliza tries to soothe her daughter. Looking on helplessly as she rubs her back.

“Mama?” Emma gasps out before throwing up again.

“I’m here.”

Emma subconsciously leans into her Mom, who has to take the bowl as Alex almost had to lean over the bed due to Emma’s movement.

“I’ve got you baby girl.” Eliza coos and holds her daughter close.

Finally Emma stops heaving and Sarah makes more notes. “Pain level Emma?”

“I-I-I do-don-’t-”

Alex and Kara frown at each other. Worried at how slurred Emma’s speech was.

“That’s okay Emma, lean back and rest okay?” Sarah says kindly. Taking the bowl from Eliza and disposing of it.

Emma feels her Mom slowly lay her back down and immediately falls back asleep, holding her Mom’s hand.

Sarah reenters the room and picks up her tablet, typing away. Finally she looks up at the worried women around the bed. “I’ll alert the Doctors immediately. They should be here soon and generally they have a meeting before going around the wards.”

“Is this normal?” Kara asks, biting her lip.

“Generally no. But each case can be different. Unfortunately Emma seems to have the worst end of the stick.”

The nurse leaves and Kara changes into the clothes she brought with her. Both sister’s decide they are going to take time off work and stay with Emma. Both knowing they won’t be able to concentrate with how Emma is deteriorating. J’onn readily agrees and will cover as director and for Supergirl.

An hour later the door opens. All three women look over and they give Sam and Lena barely their smiles.

“Don’t look too happy to see us!” Sam jokes as she reaches Alex and gives her a kiss on the lips.

“Sorry, Emma had two more attacks in quick succession.”

“Oh no.” Sam breathes out and looks at the blonde in the bed. “She… She does look more yellow… Or am I imagining that?”

“No, she has got worse.” Kara says rubbing a hand over her forehead. Her worry for her baby sister makes her feel anxious and helpless. Realising Lena hasn’t said anything Kara looks up at the raven haired women standing at the end of the bed. “Lena?”

The CEO is staring at Emma intently, looking over every part that she can see. Analysing and running through ways she can help the woman she loves.

“Lena?”

Lena jumps when Kara calls for her again.

“Sorry.” She says quickly and sits in the chair by Kara.

“Don’t be. It’s not easy seeing her like this.” Kara wraps an arm around Lena’s shoulder and pulls her in for a hug.

“Have the Doctors been in?” Sam asks Alex, who shakes her head.

“Not yet.” Alex answers softly, running a hand through her hair. “Sarah said they need to get the MRI done so they can have a better picture of what’s going on. There may be a chance a stone has got caught somewhere and we don’t want that getting left behind when they operate.”

“Poor Em.” Sam looks at the blonde sympathetically and focuses on the hand Eliza is holding. She wonders how Eliza is keeping everything together. If this was happening to Ruby, Sam knows she would be a frantic mess.

Another hour passes. Lena and Sam reluctantly have to leave. Lena is especially sad she didn’t get to talk to Emma and feeling guilty for how busy she’s been the past few days. Even though she’s been leaving work in record time to spend the evenings with Emma, it never seems to be enough time. Lena places a kiss on Emma’s cheek, leaving a red lipstick mark, which she quickly wipes off. Not realising her kiss had woken Emma up.

After they leave there’s a knock on the door. Emma stirs more, taking a deep breath in as she starts to open her eyes.

“May we come in?” Dr Stevens asks as they open the door.

Eliza nods and Dr Stevens, Sarah and a few interns filter into the room.

“Ah Emma! You're awake.” Dr Stevens smiles kindly at the blonde. Who gives a weak smile back. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore.” Emma’s voice is low and gruff. She coughs and Alex immediately grabs the cup of water by the bed and hands it to Emma. Who takes it gratefully, taking small sips. Alex picks up Emma’s glasses and carefully places them on her baby sister. Making sure they go on properly.

“What level is the pain?”

Emma thinks for a moment as she assesses how she feels. “Between 7 and an 8.”

“That isn’t good.” Dr Stevens looks down at their tablet. “Sarah, once Emma has her MRI can you set up a morphine drip? That way we can keep Emma more comfortable.”

Sarah nods and taps on her tablet the new information.

“Due to the recent attacks we are putting you ahead of the MRI queue. One of my interns will take you down in a moment. You need to take anything that has metal off, including jewellery, bras, little pieces of metal in clothes etc.”

Emma nods sluggishly at the surgeon.

“Do you have any questions?” Dr Stevens keeps their focus on Emma who looks at those around her.

“No, I think we are okay for the moment.” Eliza says squeezing Emma’s hand.

“Actually.” Alex pipes up causing everyone to look at her. “Have you got the results from the recent blood test?”

“We do, but I want to see what the MRI shows first.”

Alex nods at this and leans back into her chair. The surgeon bids them goodbye and all of the interns follow them out.

Emma reaches up and tries to unclasp her ear studs. When she struggles Kara stands and helps her remove them.

“Thanks Kar.” Emma says gratefully while Kara places them in a small pot by Emma’s bed. Emma turns her head looking at Eliza, who holds her hand again. “Hey Mom.” Emma has wanted her Mom terribly but due to Eliza’s work she couldn’t get to her baby daughter quick enough. Something that has frustrated Eliza greatly.

“Hi baby girl.” Eliza stands and holds her daughter close. A sniff escapes the blonde until the damn breaks and she’s sobbing into her Mom’s arms. The feeling of safety and home overwhelming her.

“Sorry.” Emma chokes out, feeling embarrassed by her outburst.

“Oh Emma. It’s okay.” Her Mom says while kissing the top of her head.

“But it’s stupid.”

“No it isn’t. You’re in pain and very unwell. You’re allowed to cry.”

“Yea.” Alex stands and hugs Emma’s back. Kara reaches out and takes a hold of Emma’s hand. “We don’t think any less of you for crying Em.”

“Sorry to interrupt but I need to take Emma down.” A female intern stood in the doorway. Kara, Alex and Eliza pull away. Emma shoots Alex a look of panic and Alex motioned with her hand for Emma to take deep breaths. Which Emma copies, but she still looks terrified.

“Remember to keep your eyes closed and think of nice things.” Alex says encouragingly.

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.” Kara starts singing ‘My Favourite Things” from The Sound Of Music.

“Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens.” Emma sings with a smile on her face. They both sing the next few lines to each other.

“Brown paper packages tied up with string. These are a few of my favourite things.”

Alex rolls her eyes but smiles at her two musical loving sisters.

The intern smiles too and steps forward making Emma focus on her. “And I just need to check your clothing for metal. Is that okay?”

Emma nods and the intern lifts the blanket and sheets back. Checking the holes and drawstring in Emma’s sweatpants. They pull the sheet and blanket up over Emma.

“Are you wearing a bra?”

“No.”

“Great! And your earrings are out.” The intern pulls the bars up either side of Emma and everyone moves out of the way. Emma looks at Alex again in a panic.

“You’ll be fine Em.” Alex reaches out and holds Emma’s hand.

“You can have someone come down with you. They won’t be in the room with you though.” The intern offers kindly.

Emma looks at Alex and bites her lip.

“Would you like me to come down with you?” Alex asks softly, smiling at how much Emma looks like the child she remembers from their youth. All wide eyed and scared.

Emma nods and Alex keeps a hold of her hand.

“We’ll be here when you get back.” Eliza kisses Emma’s forehead and holds her daughter close. Next Kara gives Emma a crushing hug. Trying to convey all her love in that moment.

“Can’t. Breathe.” Emma gasps out.

“Sorry!” Kara flies back causing Emma to laugh but reaches for her sister again, pulling her into another, more gentle hug.

“I’m sorry but we really have to go.” The intern disengages the break and starts pushing the trolley forward.

Kara lets go of Emma and stands with Eliza in the room. They watch Emma being wheeled out with Alex by her side.

“Al…” Emma says quietly as they wait in the elevator. Alex looks down at her and squeezes her hand.

“Yea?”

“I’m nervous.”

“It’s okay to be nervous Em. But you got this. The doctors need this scan to know the best way to perform the surgery.” Alex reaches up and strokes her thumb across Emma’s yellow cheek. “You remember all the breathing exercises I taught you?”

Emma nods. “But what if I freak out?”

“Honestly, Em, we don’t have time for you to freak out. You need this scan. Keep your mind busy with things you like and focus on your breathing. The machine will let you know when to hold your breath and all that.”

“Okay.” But Emma didn’t feel okay. If she was linked to a heart monitor she was sure it would be going haywire at the moment.

The elevator doors slide open and the intern wheels them to the MRI room. Emma is immediately intimated by the huge machine, and the small gap in its centre. The technician greets them and goes through everything with Emma and asks the usual questions “Are you pregnant?” Which earned a snort from Emma before confirming she wasn’t.

“Okay, so we are all ready for you. Can you stand and walk to the slab?”

“Yes.”

The intern lowers one side of the railing around the bed and Emma slowly lifts her legs over the side. Alex stands by her side, helping Emma get to her feet. Emma closes her eyes for a moment as the room spins around her. Causing Alex to hold onto her.

“Em?”

“M’okay.” Taking a deep breath she opens her eyes again, taking a few cautious steps with Alex holding onto her shoulders and walking with her. They reach the slab and Alex helps her sit down.

“Going to need you to take your glasses I’m afraid.”

“Okay.” Emma takes them off and hands them to Alex. Her sister leans down and hugs her.

“You’ll be fine.” Alex says reassuringly and places a kiss on Emma’s cheek.

“Thanks Al.” Emma thinks she smiles at Alex, but she can no longer see Alex’s face. Just a blob of colour.

The voice of the technician is what she hears next.“Put these earbuds in, they will drown out most of the noise and you’ll hear when the machine instructs you to breathe and when to hold your breath.”

Emma holds out her hand and the ear buds are placed in it.  Emma puts them in her ear and immediately the noises of the room dims. She then lies on the slab and the technician places a shield over her chest and lower body. She is strapped onto the slab and the technician gives her the thumbs up. Or what looks like the thumbs up.

“Ready?” A muffled voice calls out.

“Re-ready.”

The machine suddenly slides her in and she has no problem seeing the top right in front of her face. For a split second panic floods through Emma and she feels like she’s in a coffin. But Emma immediately closes her eyes and focuses on her breathing.

After a while Emma starts imagining she is on a plane. The hum of the machine being similar to that of a plane. The cold air being pumped around her, reminding her of the air con on a plane. How Emma always needs to wrap up and take a blanket with her. The feeling of being squished into the machine, just like being squished in a small seat on a plane.

She pictures herself sitting next to Lena, on their way to Paris or Rome or Athens. Places Emma is desperate to visit one day.

“When you hear the beep, take a deep breath and hold for 15 seconds until you hear the next beep.” An automated voice calls out. Emma follows the instructions and holds her breath and releases when she hears the beeps. This continues for some time. Emma starts getting annoyed every time the automated voice interrupts her day dream of being in a city with Lena. Like visiting the Eiffel Tower or the Colosseum. All the different foods they could try.

Finally Emma feels the machine sliding her out.

“Well done! You’re a very good breather!” The technician jokes causing Emma to snort.

“Well that's good… I guess.” Emma says while the technician unstraps her and removes the shields.

“Here.” Alex says while holding out her glasses.

Emma takes them and puts them on. She looks up at her sister who smiles brightly at her.

“Told you you could do it!”

Emma smiles back at her before slowly sitting up. Alex helps her to her feet again and they walk to the gurney.

“One of our top guys is looking over the scans now, they should let your surgeon know ASAP.” The technician says kindly as the intern pulls the sides up again.

“Thank you.” Emma smiles at the and waves when she’s being wheeled out. “Please don’t make me do that for a long time.”

“I promise.” Alex says while taking a hold of her sister’s hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Hungry.”

“Unfortunately you may not be able to eat. You will probably be nil by mouth until we know if your surgery will be today.” The intern interrupts.

Subconsciously Emma lowers her head and squeezes Alex’s hand tightly. Alex looks down at her sister, seeing how defeated Emma looks.

“Hey.” Scared yellow eyes look up at her. “You’ll be okay.”

Emma nods but remains quiet, lowering her head again as they make the way back to her room.

“Emma! How’d it go?” Kara’s cheerful voice makes Emma lookup as the gurney is put back in place.

“Was okay.” Emma softly says while Sarah installs the morphine drip.

“When you need pain relief just press this button.” Sarah says and Emma nods. Pressing the button immediately. The movement earlier had aggravated her pain.

A voice Emma didn’t expect spoke next. “Was it as bad as you thought?” Green eyes connect with Emma’s jaundice ones. A small smile breaks across Emma’s face.

“No. Though I didn’t shut my eyes quick enough when they slid me in. But I just imagined I was on a plane.”

“That’s a good way of describing it actually.” Eliza says while sitting next to Emma’s bed.

“And I don’t want to sound rude, but, Lee?” Emma’s gaze focuses back on her crush. “What are you doing here? I thought today you had back to back meetings.”

“I managed to do some rearranging. As it’s Friday many were happy to reschedule as it meant they could start their weekend sooner. And as it’s lunch time I brought everyone something.” Lena goes over to the coffee table and picks up the take away bags with Alex and Emma’s food in.

“Oh! I er…” Emma pale cheeks colour in a blush.

“She’s not allowed to eat anything at the moment.” Alex says as she takes the bag Lena holds out to her.

“Why not?!” Kara looks at her sister outraged.

“Incase I have surgery today.”

“Oh! I’m sorry Em.” Lena looks guiltily at the blonde, putting the bag containing Emma’s food back on the coffee table, out of Emma’s view. Though Emma knows Kara will likely be eating it soon anyway.

“Would you rather we ate somewhere else?” Emma notices Sam by the sofa, already eating her lunch. She quickly looks at everyone, almost laughing loudly at how conflicted Kara looks.

“No it’s fine.”

“Phew!” Kara starts eating again, in record time to make up for the few seconds she wasn’t eating.

“So where did you imagine you were flying too?” Sam asks to break up the silence.

“Either Paris, Rome or Athens.”

“Oo nice! Have you been there?” Sam asks with a bright smile.

Emma shakes her head. “No.”

“Maybe I can take you sometime?” Lena tilts her head at Emma and smiles at her.

“CanIcome?” Kara says with a mouth full of food.

“Kara!” Eliza scoffs.

“Was that in english?” Emma laughs loudly.

Kara swallows before trying again. “Sorry, I said, can I come?”

Alex wanted to kick her sister’s shin and shoot her a glare. Instead she looks at Sam who gently rolls her eyes. Alex smirks into her lunch.

“I’ll take you another time.” Lena smiles at her best friend. Secretly making a plan in her head of taking Emma on a week, maybe two week holiday to these cities. Maybe add a few more in that Emma would love.

“Aw okay.” Kara sighs heavily.

‘So oblivious!’ Alex thinks as she shakes her head slightly.

Suddenly a big yawn escapes Emma. “How am I so tired?” She rubs her face frustrated.

“Cause your body is going through a lot.” Alex says between mouthfuls. “Plus you haven’t been sleeping well. Not good quality sleep anyway.”

“Yea… What is that again?”

“You poor thing.” Kara reaches out and strokes Emma’s arm. Careful not to tug the wires attached to the morphine drip.

Emma smiles at her sister and feels her eyes growing heavy. She blinks, trying to keep sleep away as long as possible.

“Emma, sleep, it’s okay.” Her Mom stands and strokes Emma’s head.

“Lee’s here.” Emma says wearily. “Specially.”

“I’ll be here when you wake up Em.” Lena stands next to Eliza. She watches Emma’s yellow eyes slide close and open quickly before closing again repeating. Reaching out Lena takes Emma’s hand and rubs her thumb over it. “Sleep darling.”

Emma finally can’t fight it anymore and her eyes remain close.

#supergirl #supergirl tv #supergirl imagine #supergirl fanfic #supergirl baby danvers #supergirl fanfiction #lena luthor x baby danvers #alex danvers x baby danvers #kara danvers x baby danvers #lena luthor imagine #alex danvers imagine #kara danvers imagine #b!d #baby danvers

[terminalchaos]

Hiya!

I thought for my second post, I’d do a bit about my symptoms and what lead me to getting my diagnosis. Obviously it’s different for everyone, and I got extremely lucky. So bare that in mind! Warning: I get a bit sweary in this one. I have a lot of feelings about it.

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The city I live in, Melbourne, is officially the most locked-down city in the world in relation to COVID-19. After what has been a fucking exhausting few years, we are well and truly over it at this point. But what I didn’t realise going into the first lockdown (last year at some point) was how much I would suffer, and how badly this whole crock of absolute bullshite would affect me. 

Last year in the first lockdown, I was a full-time university student, working as a medical transcriber and at an acting studio, facilitating workshops with directors, casting directors, etc. This was fine for about 2 weeks. Then everything started to fall apart, very slowly. I stopped going to my lectures and my tutorials. I started asking for extensions, more and more often. I had always been a last-minute student, starting essays on the day they were due, with about 3-5 hours set aside to sit and do the whole thing. Throughout school I do not think I did a single bit of homework on time, unless it was something I genuinely wanted to do. I often just didn’t do it, copped a detention, and moved on with my life. 

This is extremely aggravating to me now, seeing that I was around hundreds of educated adults, and. Not. A. Single. Fucking. One. Either knew I was displaying symptoms of ADHD, or cared enough to try and help me. I don’t know what’s worse. It was simply punish the bad student, who never did their homework, and never studied, and never revised, and always forgot the in-class tests, and always struggled with remembering things. So, I adjusted. I still never did my homework, but I stopped caring about classes. I was rude to teachers who were rude to me, and would snap back at any teacher who didn’t show me the same respect they expected from me.

I was so, so angry.

It was completely unfair. I didn’t know why I was the only person who couldn’t do these basic things, like getting my planner signed after every week. So I resorted back to the things society told me I was: stupid, incompetent, lazy. That lead to a not great mindset, which lasted from the ages of about 13-20. I still struggle with a lot of these things, but in different contexts.

Anyway, the ways I coped at school started to fall apart at university. And they really fell apart with lockdown. Being in my house for 23 hours a day, with incredibly stringent rules, meant my ADHD just pent up. I couldn’t do anything. Not even things I wanted to do, and the pressure of deadlines weren’t enough to prod my brain into action. I just couldn’t do anything.

I figured this wasn’t normal, and one day I saw a post on ADHD in AFAB people. I read through it, and it resonated with me. Odd, I don’t have excess energy. In fact, I would oversleep constantly. Often, 12 hours a night wasn’t enough for me, and I would fall asleep at 2am. Caffeine would put me to sleep! My partner at the time would be on my back about how much I slept, constantly. He didn’t understand my ADHD presentation, which is reasonable, because I didn’t either. He would get irritated because the second I got any money, I wouldn’t save it. I’d buy things. I’d constantly put on weight because I would buy sugary snacks whenever I could. I would say yes to anything that would give me a second of joy.

When you have ADHD, your dopamine is running on empty. So everything you do is to try and boost your dopamine. It leads to a lot of behaviours that people see as irresponsible and reckless, because they can be. But it’s because our brains are screaming out for dopamine hits, however big, however long lasting. Now I know this, and can stop myself before doing these dopamine-seeking behaviours (the medications obviously help).

Reading this post about ADHD, I didn’t immediately do a deep-dive of research. I forgot about it for a while. I remembered my mum telling me when I was young that I “probably had some form of ADD, or something like that” after I spilled my guts about something that had been on my mind. I would start talking, and not stop. More and more of these little pieces started clicking. Then, I started doing actual research. I can’t remember details because, y’know, ADHD. But these symptoms started making sense. Not being able to control my impulses? Check. I am obscenely impulsive. Not being able to keep relationships? Check. Half of my friends from school in England I wanted to keep in contact with, I had completely deserted. Memory issues, not being able to keep a routine, missing deadlines, having slightly “kooky” interests, hyperfocusing, the paralysis I would feel when there were so many things to do, and I just sat in bed for 6 hours doing nothing, not eating.

I sat and cried on my partner’s bed while he comforted me. I cried over the fact I had an answer. I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t lazy. 

From there, I pursued a diagnosis. This was tricky: I tried three different clinics (one of which lost my referral 4 times! Shout out Alfred Road Clinic lol), and emailed different ADHD psychiatrists like crazy. I got no responses.

6 months after my initial referral, I cried to my family about how frustrating it was, knowing what was wrong with me, knowing there was treatment, but not being able to access it. Imagine how frustrating it is not being able to do anything, knowing there is a way to help, but not having access to it.

Eventually, a few strings were tugged, and I got an appointment in June 2021. July 2021, I was put on Vyvanse 30mg by my psychiatrist.

The first day I took my medication, I sat and did my Korean homework for 2 hours. Then, I sat and cried. I have never concentrated for 2 hours on demand like that.

I was furious, relieved, and incredibly sad for the 23 years I had lost, feeling like my body and mind were two separate entities. Having all these things I wanted to achieve, and achieving none. I learnt so many things were coping mechanisms I used to balance my ADHD brain: trying to be early as possible to avoid being late. Notes on my phone reminding me of everything I need to do. Double checking things three, four times.

All these things I wanted to try, and having tried none. Not being able to exercise as it made me sleepy and I never felt the benefits. Finding certain things unbearable for no reason. Getting in trouble for stupid things just because I couldn’t convince myself the dopamine payoff would be worth it. Having built nearly no skills as a young person because I had no direction. This was compounded by my want to achieve, but feeling that I couldn’t do anything, because this invisible barrier kept me in a snowglobe of my own shame and frustration. All because my stupid fucking brain was too busy trying to get hits of dopamine whenever and wherever it could. 

I thought about how my A Level results would have been different if any of the adults in my life had clocked this when I was 13.

I thought about the things I could have achieved if anyone had thought to investigate just a little further.

I still cry about these things. The me that was prevented from living by ADHD taunts me from another dimension. Cow.

I needed to start to get to know myself without the dopamine addict brain. What I want to achieve, what was now possible, and how to avoid feeling like I will never achieve anything I want to. My main goal is to start having 3 meals a day, something I have never, ever been able to sustainably do. I’m still working on this.

[cherrywoes]

ni. (acanthus.)

KAKASHI BRAIDED HER HAIR for her when it became evident she couldn’t do it by herself. Despite the extensive wrap job he had done on her arm, soaked in antibacterial gel and burn spray, he had been too late to catch the damage to her nerves. What little medical ninjutsu he did know had salvaged the damaged muscle underneath and prevented boils, but the upper layers of her skin had been utterly ruined. She had range of motion, but it came with pain, and flexing of sensitive muscles that weren’t quite ready to be moving yet. So, he braided her hair—it was not as neat as if she had done it herself, was messy with inexperience, but it kept the longer lengths out of her face and, for the most part, she looked like Sakura again.

She didn’t ask him where he had learned to braid. She also didn’t ask him about the scroll he tucked into the bag he had packed for her—filled with spare clothes, necessities, anything she could wish for as a girl going into virtual exile—that looked suspiciously like a summoning scroll, the wooden end ornate and the Hatake clan symbol carved into it. It looked nothing like the summoning scroll he used for his dogs, but she kept her inquiries to herself and focused on the mission statement she held in her burn free hand.

“Amegakure and Kumogakure.” Sakura traced the names written in red with a single finger. He paused from where he was tucking pre-made seal papers and explosive tags into a side pocket, turning his head back towards her incrementally to indicate she had his attention. “The last I heard we were on neutral terms with both villages. What happened?”

Kakashi hummed as he unzipped the secondary larger section of her pack and tossed a handful of nutrigrain bars inside, along with five bottles of water and a flask that she assumed was also filled with water. She watched him sneak a tin of jasmine pearls in there as well. “No one knows. One day, out of the blue, they declared they had an alliance and set their sights on Suna, Iwa, and Konoha. Tsunade didn’t think they had enough shinobi to do it—it turns out they did, and in vast droves too. They’d been planning it for a while, I think.”

“But Konoha hasn’t declared war with them; why not?” Sakura rolled the mission statement back up against her thigh, using her hand to tie the tiny string together messily. “We’re allies with Suna and Iwa, we should be helping them.”

Sakura forgot, momentarily, that she had no say in matters like war, or even Konoha at all, and chided herself mentally for forgetting such an important fact. She was as good as dead to Konoha, and she knew they hoped she would die on the battlefield in the end.

She, secretly, hoped she did too.

“We are. Discreetly.” Kakashi zipped up the pack and hefted it experimentally. Deeming it light enough for her to carry, he set it beside the door frame and took a seat beside her on his raggedy couch. It was green, littered with claw marks and obscure stains that looked like blood, and had Gai’s taste written all over it. “It would be illegal for normal Konoha nin to do what the War Ops do in wartime. There are rules, sanctions that prevent unjust actions between nations. The War Ops are similar to ROOT, but far worse, in my opinion. I was never part of it, but Genma was, at some point. They forsake the village in the name of the village, sabotage what they can, kill who they can, and when the war is done, whoever’s left alive will return and reinstate their Konoha citizenship, wiped clean of their crimes during the war.” He paused, then, his only visible eye filled with guilt and sadness. “But you won’t be able to come back when it’s all said and done. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I have no other choice, do I?” Sakura shrugged lamely, ignoring the pull of her skin beneath the bandages. “It’s alright, Kakashi. I deserve it for everything I’ve done. If they consider my crimes paid for dying on the battlefield, then that’s fine. I don’t see any reason to try and escape it.”

He was quiet for a moment, looking away from her and through his living room window, just barely lit with the first rays of dawn. She had maybe an hour before she had to report to the rear gates towards Amegakure. “Konoha will miss you. They might not realize it, but when they need you most, they will remember what you did for them.”

“Other than killing their friends and family?” She raised an eyebrow and laughed, but it was a pathetic imitation of one. “Maybe. But it’ll be too late by then.”

“Maybe.”

Sakura reported to the gates when Kakashi couldn’t put it off any longer. She carried her pack on one shoulder, wearing the uniform that had been delivered to his front door in the dead of night while they had slept. There were no identifying crests on the dark flak jacket, no familiar stitching in the hems or seams, and the fabric was foreign, exported from the hidden island nation of Hanagakure. While it was comfortable and stretchy, the long sleeves pulled and dragged on her bandages, irritating the previously calm skin. The rest looked like standard ANBU attire, save for the mask they had given her when she arrived at the gate. It was black and white, opposite of the red and white that ANBU typically wore, and depicted the face of a crow upon it: a silent jab that crows brought death, just as Sakura brought death to her teammates.

She may have found it funny had it been happening to someone else.

“Be safe,” Kakashi said as two War Ops members moved to flank her cautiously. There was no need for farewells; they had already said them the previous night. The dew on the trees evaporated as the sun rose higher in the sky, as the village woke and got ready for a new day. “And take care, Sakura.”

“Thank you, Kakashi-sensei. For everything.” And then she was snapping on the mask with one hand, pinning her braid to the back of her head, and was gone, vanishing into the trees with the two War Ops members as if she had never been there at all.

“Wait!” Ino Yamanaka’s shrill yell broke through the admittedly peaceful silence the morning had brought. Birds startled at the sound and took to the sky. She looked worse for wear, her once neat hair bedraggled and frizzy, dark circles lining her eyes. Behind her, following at a slightly more hasty pace than he was used to, was Sai, his pale face pulled into an expression of aggrievement—Kakashi had never seen such emotion displayed so openly before, at least from the former ROOT member. “Shit! Kakashi, did I miss her?”

“Yo.” He gave them a two fingered salute and nodded his head towards the trees. “If you had been a few seconds earlier, you would have caught her.”

“Damnit.” Ino sunk to her knees on the ground, dirtying her skirt and tears beginning to stream from her eyes. Sai, though he was not crying, knelt beside her and rested a hand on her back, rubbing awkward circles on her back in an attempt to soothe her. “I wanted to apologize to her—I didn’t think—”

“Ugly doesn’t blame you, Beautiful,” Sai said in that same blank tone. “You’re her best friend.”

“What kind of best friend am I?!” Ino wailed, a dark red flush crawling up her neck, a product of rage, anguish, and sadness. ���I’m the one who practically had her sentenced to death! I’m the one who reported her! If I had just kept my big fat mouth shut, maybe—!”

“Ino,” Kakashi sighed, kneeling down to her height and grasping her shoulders. Sai paused, giving him a knowing look, and stood, taking a few steps back to deter the growing crowd of civilians flocking to the gate. “Sakura would have been caught eventually. It’s alright. She doesn’t blame you. This way, she knew what was coming; she believes she deserves it, so she doesn’t hate you for it. She hates herself.”

Ino hiccuped, her tears growing steadier and faster. “Then why do I feel like I just killed my best friend, Kakashi?”

He closed his eyes and tamped down the flare of anger in his chest. “Because you probably did.”

Sakura heard Ino’s cries from half a mile away. The War Ops were determined and moved fast, neither speaking a word to her as they leapt from tree branch to tree branch, infusing chakra into their steps to move a little bit faster, to push her a little more harder. She was able to keep up with them but only barely, her heart tugging her back to comfort Ino, to see the village one last time. She had to stop herself several times from looking back for a brief second, just to see if she could make out a head of pale blonde hair, and focused on the rapidly moving backs of her escorts, their nondescript brown and black hair the only hints of color on them.

While they were fast, they were also silent, but Sakura could taste the animosity crawling all over them anyways. They had likely been briefed on her status, and there was always a chance she would be fighting with a relative of someone she had killed, be it Yamanaka, Hyuuga, Akimichi, or a civilian. She would not only be watching her back for their enemies, she would have to watch out for her allies, too; there would be no friendships made here, she thought grimly, and adjusted the straps of her pack. Kakashi had been smart to add a lightening jutsu to it so it wouldn’t hinder her progress, but it would be a nuisance if she had to fight with it on.

Though, if her latest fights had been anything to go by, she was more likely to obliterate organs and brains with a single rush of chakra than breaking bones with blunt, chakra enhanced fists. She would have to test it when they arrived at camp—some miles away near the borders of Ame—or if they chanced upon a group of rogue ninja along the way. And her seal needed to be examined, too, but she didn’t trust any one of the War Ops members as far as she could throw them. Her own abilities would have to be enough.

“Caravan, three o’clock. Possibly rogue ninja.” The first ninja, a woman, held her arm out in an order to pause. Sakura landed lightly on the tree branch behind her, eyes darting over the horse mask she wore and then into the underbrush, where she could just barely make out the wheels of a carriage and several men dressed in what appeared to be Amegakure gear. “No. Amegakure forces… Six chuunin and four jounin. Orders, Crane?”

The second ninja hummed in thought. Sakura would recognize the sound of Neji Hyuuga’s voice anywhere, her gaze hyper focused—the long brown hair, slight build, the way he carried himself… She should have guessed. As far as she had been aware, Neji had been sealed by his clan and virtually disappeared from the public eye, but if this was what he had been doing for the past year or so, then she would have to be wary.

“Engage hostiles. Horse, crowd control. Crow… close combat. Fight to kill.”

Sakura scowled behind her mask. He was already putting her at risk of death. She shouldn’t have been surprised; the last time she had seen Neji, they hadn’t been on good terms. If this was how the rest of her life was going to be while they fought this war, she would rather throw him to the wolves and fend for herself.

Their orders received, the triad scattered to surround the caravan. The contents were obscure, but Sakura could make out the kanji for ‘explosive’ on a barrel tied to the top. They were nearly thirty or forty miles out from Konoha, so they were clearly intended for the village, perhaps to weaken the defenses or take out enough ninja to cause an issue.

The plan of attack was clear. Sakura would be forced to go in first; Neji would come in with Horse and keep them all limited to the small pathway and prevent them from vanishing into the forest. It was a smart plan… if only it had gone as she thought it would.

Sakura leapt down from her perch on a branch and slammed down on a man’s shoulders hard enough that the chakra in her feet sliced clean through the ball and socket joint and severed his arms from his torso. It hadn’t been intentional, but she sawed a kunai across his throat anyway, arterial spray flying into the air in an elegant arc. It was warm and wet as it poured down her face and absorbed into her clothes, but she couldn’t linger on just one. She shoved the body to the ground, the impact causing her knees to jolt unpleasantly, and darted for the nearest ninja in her line of sight.

He was large, burly, with cracked teeth and eyes full of red blood vessels. The vest he wore was more kevlar than a standard vest, so when Sakura tried to force her kunai through it, she was met with enough resistance that she had to change her plan. She swung her fist towards his face, intending to break his jaw and slam the delicate bones in his nose bridge up into his skull, but he caught the chakra laced hit with his bare hand, unaware of the horror crawling over Sakura’s face as her razor sharp chakra tore through skin and muscle and flesh and bone, all the way up to his elbow, bits of gore and shorn veins flying through the little crowd they made.

Horse and Neji never came to back her up.

When the man screamed, hand flying up to grab at his bicep, she lunged forward and ground her fist into his skull. She heard the crack of bone and the soft give of brain matter and then he was dead, slumping at her feet, blood pooling between the webbing of her toes and sinking into her brand new shoes.

She was on her own, she realized, and had been set up quite spectacularly. Horse and Neji’s chakra signatures were well on their way towards Amegakure and fading fast. This must have been the elders’ plan: set her up, get her killed, and no one would be the wiser if she died due to foul play.

Sakura slaughtered her way through the Ame nin with tears burning in her eyes and a knot in her throat that she couldn’t work through. She had thought she had been done with crying when she had left Konoha. She had thought she would be stone hard and cold when she left, unmoving, and stalwart in the face of her own death. Instead, she was as scared as the day she had faced off Orochimaru in the Forest of Death; as scared as the day Sasuke had knocked her unconscious and left her at the gates; as scared when she killed that poor girl when she was trying to heal her instead. Terrified, even, and fear fueled her anger, which fueled her determination to live.

She wanted to live. But did she even deserve it, anymore?

The last of the Amegakure ninja fell to her feet, his head rolling to a stop against a tree stump. A large lake of blood, demolished organs, and gore had grown the more she killed, and the mark on her forehead stung something fierce, as if someone had taken a hornet stinger to her skin and was painstakingly drawing out the circles and lotus flower like a cruel tattoo.

Sakura reached under her mask and brushed the tears away, blood streaking across her cheek and the corner of her eyes. There was nothing left to do now but move forward. She could let them believe she had died and flee to a far away country where no one would think to look for her; but a darker part of her, whispering in the back of her mind, told her to go to Amegakure, to show Neji and Horse that she was worth more than a few chunin and jounin, and when they weren’t looking, stab them in the back as they had her.

She closed her eyes and sighed. “An eye for an eye, right?”

With one last cursory glance to the ninja she had killed, she began heading towards Amegakure, following the invisible trail that Neji had left behind.

一 (ichi) | masterlist | 三 (san)

#haruno sakura #sakura haruno #kakasaku #kimisaku #kakashi x sakura #kimimaro x sakura #naruto #naruto shippuden #anbu sakura #sakura haruno x kimimaro kaguya

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One: Magical Loopholes

Chapter 19: Failed Experiments

Tonight, he was testing a theory. Admittedly, a theory that he'd only come up with approximately two seconds after she'd crawled into the bed with him, but a theory all the same. She'd had another nightmare last night. It was two nights in a row now. He knew because it had started the first time they hadn't had sex since she'd come back to him, a fact he felt rather impressed with when she'd snuggled into him and told him she was simply tired and asked if it would be okay if they just went to sleep. He'd nodded and insisted that it was always up to her, that nothing ever was or would be required of her while she was with him, and that he was content to hold her through the night. They'd fallen asleep together, entwined as they always were, happy and content-

And then the screaming had begun.

Just after midnight, she'd torn herself from him with a sharp, high-pitched sound that woke him instantly. Her back heaved as if she couldn't breathe. She sat up in bed, the blankets wrinkled as she tangled them into her fists, as she looked wildly about the room.

"Belle! Belle, what's wrong? What did you see?"

"I know my name," she cried, her voice cracking, as she searched and scanned for an unseen force. "I know my name, I know your name, I know who I am, I know…I know…I know my name…"

Then she'd wrapped her arms around her legs, rested her forehead down over them, and dissolved into tears that broke his heart because she was broken. It might not be her body that was broken, her bones were whole, she'd never actually flung herself off a tower or been flogged because of him, and she might have been strong, just as strong as he'd known her to be when she was in his castle…but Regina had broken her in a way. Not mentally or psychologically, perhaps it was only subconsciously, in her dreams, that her brokenness revealed itself. With the medications to calm her no longer in her blood, it seemed the nightmares were becoming more prevalent. And these small breakdowns, moments where she folded in on herself and cried out of fear or pain or shock, they tore at him.

He could kill Regina for it. He could leave their bed right then, march over to her house, wrap his hands around her throat and choke the life from her for what she'd done to his beautiful Belle. But it was his Beautiful Belle that kept him right where he was. Leaving her in this state wasn't going to help her. Killing Regina wasn't going to make her experience vanish. It was always going to be there. They were going to have to learn to live with it. Both of them.

So instead, he'd sat up and pulled her to his side. She'd been tight. Every nerve twitched where he touched her, hypersensitive. Every muscle shook with tension. Along her spine, around her back, hip to hip, up her neck…he moved his hands gently and carefully, whispering promises into her hair.

"You are safe, Sweetheart. You are here with me, you're perfectly safe, and I'll keep you safe for the rest of my life. You'll be all right."

Eventually, she'd uncurled. Eventually, she'd released her muscles and clung to him instead of herself. Eventually, he'd laid them back on the bed and let her sleep on his chest, in the cradle his arms made for her. He was content to hold her just as he'd promised earlier but not so content that he was pleased with the turn of events.

That was last night, but this was tonight. And he noted that when she'd crawled into bed, she was shaking, and he was almost certain that it was because of the last two nights when she'd woken up screaming. That was also when it dawned on him that the last two nights they'd gone to bed, they hadn't had sex. He had a lot of knowledge, from Mr. Gold, from the Dark Ones and the Seer, even from himself. But he wasn't a doctor. He was just a curious man who knew that the brain released chemicals during sex. He didn't know what kind of chemicals, but he wondered if they weren't a drug of their own, if that was the key to keeping her happy and nightmare-free. Obviously, if it was, then it wasn't really a solution. They couldn't have sex every night for the rest of their lives, no matter how much he'd love to try with her. But he was curious. And she was scared and in need of a distraction. And they were both in bed…

"My Beautiful Belle…"

At his voice, he felt her swallow, then prop herself up on her elbow so she could look down at him. "What?"

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to tell her what he was thinking because he was certain that it would sound crazy to her. Or worse. He worried that to her it might sound as though she was a burden waking him up each night. He didn't want her to think that. But, of course, he didn't want to tell her the actual truth either, which was that as horrified and angry as he was at Regina, he still couldn't believe he was the one who got to calm her and soothe her back into sleep. He felt lucky when she was terrified, not exactly something he wanted anyone to know. He couldn't form the words to tell her any of this, so instead, he said the only thing he could think to say, the only thing he knew that mattered.

"I love you," he promised, then drew her mouth down to his own and kissed her until the shaking stopped. He kissed her until her panic fled, until last night was a memory so distant it had no business in her head. He kissed her mouth first, then her body, inch by inch as he stripped it bare, worshiping her in a way he'd never worshipped the gods of their world or this one. He kissed her until they were both shaking not from fear but from the place at the peak of desire where want and need mingled together with sweat and tears. He kissed her as he declared his love over and over with body and soul until she cried and returned the words that he was still certain were nearly impossible. He kissed her until they found their way back to his side of the bed and curled into one another, and he prayed his experiment was enough, prayed that she'd be comforted for the night and sleep through it.

"Stay with me," she whispered as her fingers fluttered over his skin, making pictures that left him tingling and aware of all of her beside him. "Forever."

"I can't think of a better way to spend eternity, Sweetheart." And it was true. He couldn't. If this worked, if this was a key, he knew it wouldn't work for them every night but felt like he would fight to the death to make it work. To spend every night in her embrace, to love her, to hold her! He could live with it. If the entire world was just this bedroom, he well and truly believed they had everything they'd ever need to live out the remainder of their lives in peace.

And then the Seer and the Dark Ones had to interfere.

Sometimes he was so caught up in worrying over her nightmares he forgot to worry about his own. But they still haunted him. He'd never really slept until she came around, but now that she was here and he found himself doing it more and more with his magic, his magic wanted to remind him of the real reason he was here, in Storybrooke. It wasn't for Belle, as much as he wanted it to be. It was for Baelfire. In sleep, images of his past crept up on him as reminders.

Baelfire with the bean in his hand.

Milah on Hook's ship, her heart turning to dust in his fist.

Baelfire telling him that it might have been better to fight.

A glimpse at the sledgehammer he was about to send into his ankle.

Margery leaving for her new life with her new husband.

Hook taking Milah.

Belle telling him that he'd made his choice and would regret it.

Baelfire screaming at him to let go of the dagger.

Zoso telling him to let go of the boy.

Baelfire's hand slipping from his grasp.

A bright light.

Nothing.

Belle was a heavy sleeper. There was little in the world that could wake her until she was ready, but somehow the second his eyes flung open in the night from a terror of his own, she knew. He wasn't so shocked by his own nightmares anymore, and decades of sleeping in this room meant that with a single look he knew he was awake and safe, so he didn't react as she did. But he always wanted air.

Belle moved away from him, pulling the sheets with her, allowing the cool air to touch his skin and cool him. He didn't need it. He could cool himself with magic, but there was something about a nightmare making him feel human that made him grateful for the fresh air. It helped somehow. So did walking. Usually, when this happened, he got up, went downstairs to get a glass of water, then wandered into the basement, pondering what he could do about the current situation he wasn't already doing. Inevitably he always remembered Belle and returned to bed with her when he realized there was nothing to be done. He had to wait for Emma or find August. Until then, there was nothing.

"Are you all right?" Belle finally asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"Fine," he lied, just as he always did. He wasn't fine. His tongue felt like sandpaper. And worst of all, he was happy and content sleeping next to Belle, and it made him angry because he too often forgot that she was not the be-all-end-all. Baelfire was. He felt guilty for being with her when he should be doing everything possible to get back to him.

He felt her sit up behind him and put her hands on his back. "Do you know what it was about this time?"

"No," he lied again as more guilt crept in. He should tell. He knew he should tell her. He was going to have to tell her about it someday, hopefully someday soon. Whether he left her here in Storybrooke to retrieve Baelfire or took her with him, he would have to explain it all. She'd understand. He loved her. He trusted her. But for some reason, every time she asked him what was wrong or what his own nightmares were about, the words never came.

Over his shoulder, he felt her hair brush against his arm and her mouth touch his skin in a kiss so delicate it brought him to his knees. It was so easy to give in to her, to lose himself in her night after night. Baelfire, he had to think of Baelfire.

"Come on," she whispered, tugging at his arm. "Come back to bed."

Baelfire.

"No," he answered. "I need to go downstairs to-"

"You need sleep!"

Sleep was the last thing he needed.

"I don't want to keep you up."

Water and down to his basement, away from Belle where he could at least sit and pretend his mind was focusing on Baelfire.

"The only way you can keep me up is by leaving. I can't sleep without you anymore."

Was that true? How long had it been? How long had they been like this? A week? She seemed to sleep fine during the day without him, but…

Now that he thought about it, each time this happened, and he came back to bed, she was always up, always waiting for him to lay back down so she could go back to sleep. He felt her hands move over his back as his own had moved over hers the night before. She couldn't sleep without him…was it really true already?

"Going downstairs to pace isn't going to make the memories come back, Rumple. Trust me, I know."

He glanced over his shoulder at her, and she met his eyes with a smile. She didn't know. She didn't know that he remembered because he hadn't told her. He should tell her. But all he could think about when he looked at her was that she was right. If he went downstairs, he'd get nothing accomplished just like he had every other time this had happened. At least with her he had the benefit of being with her.

She smiled when he nodded in agreement. "Come on," she muttered before she kissed his shoulder again and lay back against the mattress with her arms open for him. Hours earlier, watching her layout naked like that would have been irresistible to him. Now, instead, he just wanted to be close to her. So he let himself slide around her, put his head on her chest, just below her chin, and reveled in the feel of her small form swallowing his own up. She rubbed his back, kissed his head, moved her fingers over his scalp and through his hair in a way that settled him almost like magic. The sound of her heartbeat drumming in her chest was calming. Her breath filling her lungs was his lullaby.

His experiment had failed, for her at least. He'd have to try again another night to soothe her dreams. But for now, his own mind cleared a little bit more with every move of her hands.

"Just close your eyes," she whispered to him. "Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Yes. Yes, she would. But it dawned on him that Baelfire would not be, and suddenly he was awake all over again.

#Rumbelle #Rumple #Rumpelstiltskin #Dark One #Mr. Gold #Belle #Baelfire #ouat #ouat fanfiction #fanfic

[poetryofyouth]

I did it, I finally quit psychiatry

(I wrote this for r/antipsychiatry, but I thought I might as well post it here too. don't read if you're easily triggered)

It's been a long journey through hell, but I've had enough. I'm not taking any more shit from incompetent, clueless doctors who think they know me better than I do myself. Who do not listen to me when I beg them to change the medication and instead just give me more of the stuff that is making me worse. I'll finally be free.

I doubt anyone cares, but I'll just tell you my story from the beginning. This is going to be a very long story. Basically, I became depressed at 14 or 15, I'm a 22 year old woman now. The reason was mainly that I couldn't handle the pressure from school. I am a very ambitious, perfectionist but also extremely lazy person. I was constantly beating myself up for not achieving what I wanted to achieve but also unable to fix my behavior. I did also have some slight, not even that serious trauma from a emotionally neglectful childhood and my parents telling me I was a failure every time I would get a grade that wasn't an A. At some point it all became too much and I started self-harming. Then I got worse and worse, self harming occasionally but severely, until I finally attempted suicide at 17.

I was locked into a youth psychiatry institution against my. will. I had my rights, my freedom taken away and was forced to take heavy medications. The very first evening I asked the psychiatrist at the hospital about the side effects of the medications, but he refused to tell me anything and instead just said I should trust his professional judgement. Unfortunately I was too tired and unwell to keep asking so I just accepted not knowing what would happen to me.

They gave me very high doses of Seroquel (Quetiapine), SSRIs and other stuff that I don't even know because they didn't even tell me the names of what they made me take. I just know the names of the medications I was supposed to continue to take after the hospital stay because they were in the papers they gave me. Then after a few days I begged the doctor to take me off the meds because I was so tired I could barely move. I had never felt worse in my life. she refused and instead upped my dose further.

I got worse and worse until I managed to get access to a razor blade I injured myself with on purpose. When my roommate told the nurses what I had done, I was forcefully, against my will restrained onto a bed. Yes, they actually tied me to a bed. And then pushed the bed into a small room where I was alone, and tied to the bed, unable to move. Of course I had a severe panic attack. The room had video surveillance, but it took them quite some time to notice that I was having a panic attack. they finally came and gave me something to breathe into and I calmed down more or less, but they didn't untie me. I later had to pee, and they didn't even untie me for that. I had to pee into a bedpan while tied to the bed, with a nurse watching me. it was incredibly humiliating. I was not untied the entire night. I was restrained until the next morning. When they finally untied me, I had quite seriously injured myself from fighting against the restraints. I had basically torn the skin off my ankles, the scars are faded now but they were visible for many years. It was quite painful. I do consider this incident of being restrained against my will psychiatric abuse, especially because I was restrained for so long. In total probably 10 hours, maybe even more.

Then the hospital didn't really know what to do with myself. I had of course lost any trust I had into the nurses and doctors and shut myself off from them. So they transferred me to a different institution, a more high-security one. Of course I wasn't asked if that was okay, I had to comply. I had began to form relationships with some of the girls, so being taken away from the small support system I had was very stresssful, especially considering how fragile I was at that time.

The other institution wasn't much different, but it was good for me to be taken away from the people who had abused me. I got a tiny bit better. I started to trust the nurses there a little bit. I got along with the other patients and over all liked the hospital better for maby reasons. And then they noticed I was a little better. And then they decided I was well enough to go back to the other hospital. Of course I wasn't asked this time either. But I had made more progress there in two weeks than in the other hospital in a month. I had again started building a little support system. But worst of all, I was forced to go back to the place where I had been abused, and at the time I was still very affected by the experience. I felt incredibly powerless and betrayed, but I didn't have a choice.

Then back at the first hospital I decided I would get better, for no other reason than to finally be able to leave that horrible place.

Then two things were getting severly uncomfortable. I was weighed every week and started noticing significant weight gain. At the same time, I was hungry all the time. painfully hungry, ravenous, even. I basically felt like I was starving all the time but still put on weight. Of course that was because of the high doses of Seroquel, but no one told me. I told nurses, doctors and therapists about the hunger and weight gain, but they simply didn't tell me that was a side effect, they told me an increased appetite was a sign i was getting better. I legit thought I was losing my mind.I have struggled with weight all my life and putting weight on like that made me feel horrible.

Then the doctor decided I was well enough to start taking up school work again. I begged him not to force me to, I told them the pressure of school was the reason I was sick in the first place. Of course no one listened to me. I was forced to do school work even if I knew it wasn't good for me. they didn't care.

Then, after three months of hell, I was finally released. And only because it was Christmas, and my parents refused to leave me there over Christmas. I got a therapist and medication for home.

Then after the Christmas holidays I, against my will, started going to school again. And after about two weeks, my new therapist told me that I had to choose between dropping out of school or going back to the hospital, because school was already making me severely suicidal again. And that was one of the few good things a mental health professional had said to me. I dropped out of school and actually started getting better for real. I sometimes forgot to take my medication, and every time I did, I instanty felt better. I suddenly didn't feel like a tired zombie anymore, I actually had emotions, I felt... alive. So I begged my psychiatrist to let me stop taking medications, and a few months after being released from the hospital, I was free of them.

And everything was great. I got a job, then I volunteered in New Zealand, then, when I was in a more stable place than at 17, I took up school again and graduated with flying colors. I was doing incredibly well.

And then I started university. The first semester went okay, but my mental health quickly started deteriorating. It was the academic pressure again. That's simply something I cannot handle. Soon I started self harming again, and it became more frequent than ever before. I also got into a bad, one might even say toxic, relationship. My girlfriend had issues on her own, but her behavior towards me was often extremely triggering and I very frequently self harmed because of something to do with our relationship. I do not want to blame her for my behavior, but she often made feel worthless, like I was not good enough for her. She would frequently cancel our dates at the last minute, and when she didn't, she would be half an hour late, and when we were together, she didn't make me feel very appreciated either. I was very much in love with her and always blamed myself for everything she did. She once even talked me into having sex with her, when I had said no repeatedly. She did not accept no for an answer and kept pushing until I slept with her to make her shut up. I felt like I didn't have a choice. She didn't force me to, but she simply did not accept my "no". Anyways, it was not her who took the knife to my skin, but she was a big factor in why I did it. I never told her she was a reason for my severe self harm, I didn't want her to feel bad. I didn't hide my wounds fro. her, I mean we did see each other naked and I always had at least four or five big bandages. We just kinda... ignored that.

So then I was getting desperate and decided to get professional help once again. I went to a free psychiatrist from the student councellors and she prescribed me Seroquel once again. I told her I didn't want to take it because it had made me gain a lot of weight and made me very tired. She laughed in my face and told me Seroquel doesn't do that. I don't know if she was just incompetent or lied to me on purpose, because these side effects are experienced by pretty much every single person who takes Seroquel, they are listed in the information leaflet, and I know many people who have taken this medication, all of them had them. During the appointment, she did not even ask me how I was feeling. She prescribed me 200 mg of Seroquel XR. Now, the recommended starting dosage is 50 mg. She prescribed me a starting dosage of four times the recommended amount. Unfortunately, I did not know that back then, I didn't expect a doctor to be that negligent. I took the first 200 mg pill that very evening before going to listen to a debate. Seroquel XR takes a while to kick in, but oh boy did it kick in. I didn't even notice the tiredness that much because I was having severe heart palpitations. My vision was going from normal to black and to normal again all the time. I was dizzy and desoriented and felt my heart was about to jump out of my chest, and sometimes it stopped beating for several seconds. I legit thought I might die in the audience of a debate on ethical farming.

Of course I didn't take the pills the next day and started looking for another psychiatrist. I got an appointment relatively quickly at a private one, it was relatively hopeless to get an appointment with one my insurance would pay, but I thought if she could help me, money wouldn't matter. She prescribed me some stuff that didn't do much harm but also didn't do much good. basically, i was a little tired but that was it. i got a therapist.

About 9 months passed, I had several psychiatrist appointments where I told her the meds didn't do much good, but she never really changed anything. She also insisted that I would get tested for Borderline personality disorder and the psychologist she told me to go to diagnosed me with it. My therapist at the time agreed with me that there was no way in hell that I have BPD, but she also said that when psychiatrists see an adult who self harms, BPD is the only thing that can explain that for them.

Then fall came and a new uni semester started. I had been alright over summer, I had broken up with my girlfriend, but of course with the start of the semester, everything came crashing down.

I lasted a month in university until i impulsively took the whole pack of Seroquel I still had laying around and went to the hospital telling them i was suicidal and also told them what i had done.

Now, I have to say that the nurses in this hospital were absolute angels. They treated my with respect, I almost felt mothered. I was given a lot of activated charcoal and basically had a good night in the hospital. I also got stitches for my freshest self harm injuries, but I had several ones that were too old to be treated that way.

The next morning I was transferred. Can you guess where to? The mental hospital i had been to as a teen. Again, I didn't have a choice.

But overall, the experience at the emergency ward was not as horrible as the first time. I was an adult now and actually treated like a human person. it says a lot about my first experience that I was very surprised by that.

I felt better rather quickly, mostly because the stress factory university was eliminated. The doctor there again insisted that I had BPD even when I said that was ridiculous. They evalued me again and the psychologist came to the conclusion that I had a borderline accentuation, basically borderline borderline.

The emergency ward doctor talked me into treatment at the psychotherapy ward, so I did that for 8 weeks. it was okay, again I was treated way better than as a teen. I was allowed to have an opinion about the medication, I was even allowed to read the little side effect pamphlets. But overall it didn't really do it, I self harmed less but I still self harmed.

During that stay I decided to drop out of university and start an apprenticeship as a baker. I found a company to work for, I loved work, then Corona happened. The company had to shut down. They laid me off after I had only worked there for three weeks. Basically I fell into a hole again, became a depressive husk again.

Then some time passes and a new therapist asked me why I didn't want to go to university anymore, she basically thought i was too intelligent not to. I told her how I could never focus, how I struggled with procrastination, how I couldn't handle the pressure and she recommended that I get assessed for ADHD. Now, I had suspended I had ADHD for years, but I didn't want to bring it up myself. I didn't want to seem like hypochondriac, or an attention whore, and after all, I had told so many people about my struggles and they never suspended ADHD. But I was relieved she brought it up and I had an "excuse" to get assessed. I was professionally diagnosed with ADHD soon after and happily went to my psychiatrist with my brand new diagnosis, I was full of hope that I would finally be "fixed". She basically told me she couldn't help me because she didn't know a lot about adhd. She prescribed me a very low dosage of Strattera (10 mg) and recommend me a specialist. I called the specialist, but they told me they couldn't give me an appointment and I should call in a few months, maybe it would be possible then.

It was july, and over the course of summer I decided I would try university again. Maybe if I was medicated for ADHD, I would actually be able to study. In fall of 2020, I started a brand new program, something very different from what I had done before.

I realized pretty quickly that the Strattera wasn't helping so I found a private ADHD specialist. I was extremely excited for the appointment. Again I thought "I only have to get through these few weeks, then I will finally get proper treatment" I didn't get proper treatment. He prescribed me more Strattera, which didn't help. The next appointment was a month after the first and again, I was excited. I was sure thia time he would fix me. I was sure after that appointment I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. But again, despite me saying I wanted to try something different, and that Strattera was not helping at all, he prescribed more Strattera.

Then university was getting really stressful, I had exams before Christmas, I was frustrated about him not listening to me. I started having suicidal thoughts again, I even relapsed with self harm, it had been months since the last time. But I more or less got through it in a piece, I even passed the exams (surprisingly), and was again looking forward to the next psychiatrist appointment after the Christmas vacation.

Strattera wasn't doing nothing, but it was not doing anything helpful. Basically, it made me feel quite relaxed, chill, less stressed. Which sounds good at first. But in order to get anything done, I rely on negative motivation. Basically, if I'm not panicking over possibly failing an exam, I'm just simply not going to study. So Strattera took the tiny bit of self-discipline and motivation that I had away and replaced it with a "idgaf"-attitude.Of course I told the psychiatrist. But can you guess what he did? Bingo, he upped the Strattera dosage. Again.

Then I had a second appointment with a new therapist, an ADHD specialist for adults. I told her how he did not care what I told him about Strattera and she was extremely upset and said that I can't let myself be treated like that. I needed to call him immediately and yell at him until he does something actually useful. I was baffled. I am not a confrontational person at all and I had never even considered actually arguing with a doctor. Yes I know, it sounds stupid in hindsight, but even after all that I had experienced, I still naively thought the professionals know best.

Okay so I called him. unsuccessful. I texted him. he ignored me. He had ignored my texts telling him that I was actually worse even before that last appointment, even though he told me to contact him with any concerns, and said that he prefered texts best, I thought he was maybe busy or something and didn't think much of it, but then he was ignoring my calls and texts. I was basically ghosted by a s

psychiatrist.

Okay I thought, then I'll simply go to someone else. To my suprise I got an appointment really quickly. I knew this wasn't a good sign, because good psychiatrists, if there even are any, don't have appointments free that soon.

But still, I had hope. And was of course disappointed again. I went to her with a professional ADHD diagnosis, but for her, that wasn't good enough. She had the audacity to tell me I needed another diagnosis from her psychologist friend who, by the way, has his office in a town over an hour away. She refused to treat me at all until I got that second diagnosis. Now,. I went to her out of pure desperation, out of knowing I simply could not go on like this any longer. Because I needed treatment quickly. And she told me she wouldn't give me that. I couldn't keep a few tears from escaping my eyea, she noticed and said very condescendingly "you don't have to cry, that's normal procedure". I tried my best to fight the tears, but as soon as I left her office, I started bawling my eyes out in the middle of town

And then I knew I was done. I had tried and tried again to get help, and I had not gotten it, I had not been listened to. Something in me snapped right in front of that office building.

I went home and threw my medication in the trash. Sure, it's bad to quit cold turkey like that, but honestly I don't care. I'm done. I'm done with psychiatry, I'm done with doctors. I have had the patience of a saint, but enough is enough. That was yesterday. And today I flipped a coin, twice, once for the psychiatrist and once for the new therapist. It told me to quit both of them, so I did.

I'm done with the mental health industrial complex. It has not helped me in all those years. I have only been sedated. Fuck psychiatry, fuck psychiatrists. Maybe I am simply meant to be miserable. I'll probably drop out of uni again, I thought I would be able to do it with treatment, but I did not get treatment, and I simply cannot do it this way. I've already attempted suicide because of academic pressure twice. Maybe I'll just have to live a miserable life working a low-paying job until I'm sad enough to finally actually kill myself. I'll probably always be a wreck, but at least I won't be a sedated wreck any longer. I'll be free, until I will be free for real.

Thank you for reading all this. I know it was a lot, but I needed to get it off my chest. Thank you.

#anti psychiatry #anti psych #antipsych #mental health industrial complex #long post #tw #cw

[keichanz]

Like Magic

hmm self control? don’t know her *fucks off to the land of unfinished WIPs*

so, i started this oneshot a while ago, forgot about it, then decided to dig through my WIP folder to maybe work on something else besides YRM for a while because I needed a small break from it. found this again, immediately dove in and welp here we are haha. I had a lot of run writing it and I hope you guys enjoy it :) it’s 32 pages jesuS CHRI

real quick, if Souji appears smarter than the average 2 year old boy it’s because i legit don’t know how to portray children since i know virtually nothing about them, so just pretend that half-demon children are slightly more advanced than human kids in this fic mkay? kthx. :)

oh and also when reading Inuyasha’s little light show for Souji, think about this video.

@fantastiqueparfait​ @morikothehalfangel​ @cammysansstuff​ @heyy-ahriii​ @tsukinohimeusagi​ @eternalnight8806-3​ @mamabearcat​ @hinezumi​ @sssuperbartola​ @doginabirdcage​ @ideasthatbuildcities​ @armor-emblem​ 

oh and @meggz0rz​.....remember a while ago when i first started this oneshot you mentioned that i should make Inuyasha do Joker’s pencil trick on Kouga? 

well...you’re gonna get a kick outta the ending ahahahah.

enjoy, lovelies~ 

Kagome’s head was positively throbbing and she was pretty sure it had more to do with the very distraught, screaming child in her arms than the fresh cut on her forehead that was still bleeding.

The flashing lights and loud engines of the emergency vehicles combined with the tow truck’s back-up alarm as it prepared to haul her totaled car away definitely wasn’t helping matters, and she was damn positive all the noise wasn’t helping her baby’s current temperament, either. With his ears pinned flat against his head to no doubt muffle the noise, his face red and scrunched up into a consistent howl with tears running unchecked down his flushed cheeks, her precious Souji had been inconsolable ever since she pulled him from her wrecked car.

At first she’d thought he was hurt somewhere and so she’d frantically searched him over as he cried, ignoring the witnesses that rushed over and asked if she was alright, but she’d only been able to marginally relax upon discovering he’d only suffered a few minor scrapes and bruises. She’d taken most of the damage, with a gash on her forehead, severe bruising on her side and diagonally across her torso form the seat belt, and her right ankle was aching something fierce, but she’d gladly take all that and more if it meant her baby boy was spared.

The accident had happened nearly an hour ago, Kagome was tired, sore, worn out, and Souji was proving rather thoroughly that he was perfectly fine by showing the entire neighborhood that he had quite the set of lungs on him.

Which really was quite unfortunate since it was, y’know, one o’clock in the morning and no doubt people were trying to sleep. Key word: trying. Kagome was pretty confident the entire damn neighborhood was awake now because of her son’s consistent shrieking, and she sent another mental apology to them.

She’d tried everything to get him to calm; singing his favorite lullaby, settling him in his mercifully undamaged car seat to rock him back to sleep, talking to him, walking around with him in her arms—absolutely nothing was working. Some of the kind spectators and even police officers had tried offering food and a young mother had even provided a sippy cup of chocolate milk, but Souji was having none of it. Kagome cursed herself for leaving her phone at home since usually putting on his favorite cartoon worked like a charm, but this was supposed to be just a quick drive to get him to fall asleep; taking her phone hadn’t seemed necessary.

He refused to let anyone come near her to treat her wounds, and he wouldn’t let anyone take him from her either. He became aggressive and nearly hysterical whenever an officer or EMT tried to take him, and she was sporting several scratches from where his claws had dug into her shoulders and arms. His screeching was the worst when that happened and it wasn’t long before they stopped trying altogether. Probably because with every attempt, whoever it was walked away with teeth marks or scratches somewhere on their body and Kagome had lost count of how many times she’d apologized.

To be honest, however, she couldn’t say she was very surprised. Ever since she’d left his father, Souji had been extremely protective of her, and even though he was only two years old, he let it be known if they were out in public that no one was allowed to touch her. He started growling whenever someone got too close, even bared his teeth on a couple occasions, and more than once she’d had to stop him from physically swiping with his claws.

Kagome understood his behavior. She knew why he was acting like this, and while most of the time it was endearing, sometimes it…well, wasn’t, and she wanted to go back in time and punch her ex-boyfriend in his stupid face for what he did. It was his fault her sweet little Souji was like this, and while completely understandable, it was still utterly frustrating and difficult to deal with, especially during times like this so Mama could get some relief.

“Oh, baby,” Kagome cooed for what seemed like the thousandth time, bouncing her son in her arms as she walked aimlessly around a little ways away from all the action of the police cars, ambulances, and curious spectators. Souji continued to wail at the top of his little lungs and she sighed, closing her eyes as she rubbed his back and tried to ignore the pounding in her head. Her arms were aching from holding him for so long, she had a limp from her sore ankle, and his slight weight agitated the fresh bruises on her body.

Ignoring the looks directed her way from the police, medics, and street residents alike, Kagome limped her way back over to the flimsy plastic chair someone had provided from somewhere and gratefully sank down. She grimaced when her sore chest and side protested, but she endured it as Souji burrowed against her, clinging to her shirt and digging his tiny claws in as he sobbed into her neck, his little body shaking, his sobs breaking her heart.

She kissed him between his little ears, feeling completely helpless. She knew he was scared and this was just his way of telling her that, but still, she wished she could do something. She wished she had the ability to make him understand he was safe, she was here, and nothing would ever harm him as long as she was around.

“Shh, baby, shh,” Kagome soothed, resting her head against his own and heaving another sigh as she stared tiredly at the ruckus surrounding her.

The man that had ran the stop sign and slammed into her had long ago been detained and was, last she knew, passed out in the back of a police cruiser. If she recalled, he had sustained little to no injury and that just freaking figured, didn’t it. It was always the drunk assholes that suffered the least, and the victims ended up with most of the damage.

Police tape was cordoning off the scene of the accident, and her car was in the process of being secured to the back of the tow truck along with the truck that had totaled her little sedan. Most of the spectators had returned to their homes, either too tired, or leaving because the excitement had passed. Police milled about, taking statements of witnesses or those who claimed they saw what happened, and the medics just sort of wandered around since their only patient was unapproachable. She felt a little guilty since she was keeping them from doing their job so they could pack up and go home, but it was fleeting because she had no energy to care anymore.

She just wanted to go home because maybe then Souji would finally calm down once he realized he was in safe, familiar surroundings, and a long, hot bath sounded positively divine right now. Thank god she worked from home so she didn’t have to worry about that in the morning, and though she doubted she’d be able to sleep in – a thing of the past when she became a mother – she would at least be able to sneak in a couple naps when Souji slept.

Souji paused in his howling to suck in a few unsteady breaths before continuing his distraught sobbing, mercifully at a slightly lower volume this time, and Kagome sighed as she rubbed his back, thinking that she would just have to let him cry it out. What else could she do?

When Inuyasha arrived on scene, he was greeted with the familiar sight of flashing red and blue lights, ambulances, and a tow truck with two very banged up vehicles hitched to the bed. It was your typical accident scene, nothing at all he hadn’t seen before, and when he spotted several of his colleagues seemingly just standing around doing shit all, he wondered why the hell he’d been called in if medics were already here.

He’d been planning on spending the night watching bad movies and eating slightly burnt pizza since he still hadn’t fixed his oven, but then he’d gotten the call to report to an accident not far from his apartment and those plans sailed right out the window. If it had been anyone other than Kaede that had called he would have flat out ignored them and carried on. But if it was his boss that was calling, he knew it had to be serious, so he hadn’t bothered to ask questions before giving his affirmative and suiting up.

Now, however, as he approached the yellow police tape and cut the engine on his Ford, he had a very good idea as to why his services were required. His ears flicked from beneath his ballcap and when he opened the door, the racket get even louder, confirming his suspicious. Oh yeah—that was one seriously ticked off kid.

He sighed and retrieved his medical bag from the backseat along with another smaller drawstring bag before ducking beneath the tape and heading toward a waving Kaede. He took a moment to glance around, instantly pinpointing where the racket was coming from, and his eyebrows rose into his bangs. Jesus, the kid couldn’t be more than two years old, and the mother looked pretty banged up. What the hell? Why hadn’t she been treated yet?

When he reached Kaede, she didn’t bother with pleasantries and launched right into an explanation. That’s what he liked about her; she never beat around the bush and didn’t like to waste time with small talk, much like himself. Probably why she was the only one he could tolerate to be around for more than five minutes at a time.

“Two patients, one child aged one to two years, one female, appears to be in her lower twenties,” Kaede started, relaying what he already knew, but it was standard procedure so he didn’t stop her. “Baby appears to be unharmed—”

“You don’t say,” Inuyasha muttered under his breath but Kaede ignored him.

“—both from observation and continued reassurances from mom. Mom has sustained several contusions along the torso and left side, possible whiplash and bruised ribs, possible sprained ankle, and possible concussion—”

“Possible?” Inuyasha repeated with a perplexed frown. “Why is nothing confir—”

Kaede leveled a glare at him and he wisely shut up.

“Nothing life threatening,” she continued, shifting her gaze toward the two patients in question and Inuyasha watched as some of her professionalism slipped, face softening into a concerned frown. “However, because we are unable to get close enough to perform an accurate assessment of both of them, injuries for both are as yet undetermined, so nothing concrete is confirmed.”

This just kept getting weirder and weirder. “Why the hell can’t anyone get close? It’s a woman and baby. Hardly any threat.”

At this, Kaede actually sighed and looked directly at him, her one gray eye intense and serious.

“The child is not fully human, Inuyasha,” she revealed and his eyes widened. “Any attempt to get close or take him away results in the babe physically lashing out in an endeavor to, I suspect, protect his mother. Unusual behavior for a child so young, and the mother refuses to have him sedated, which I can’t blame her.”

Inuyasha sucked in a breath and shifted his gaze over to the mother and child, amber eyes zeroing in on the infant bawling against his mother’s chest.

“You said…not fully human,” he murmured and flicked a glance at his superior.

Kaede nodded.

“How…?”

“She managed to relate some information before the child started getting aggressive,” she supplied. “I called you, Inuyasha, not only because of your skills with children—”

He snorted at that because really?

“—but because I thought perhaps out of anyone, you might be able to get close enough to treat both of them without the child deeming you as a threat. It’s a long shot, I realize, but at this point I’m willing to try anything.”

Inuyasha took note of the exhaustion in her eyes and posture and he couldn’t keep the corner of his lips from twitching upward.

“How long has he been screaming?”

“One hour and thirteen minutes,” one of his colleagues groaned from behind her and Kaede sighed again as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Fine,” Inuyasha finally said and then cocked a brow at her. “I’ll do what I can, but he’s probably only howling because he’s scared, Kaede, not because he’s hurt. No doubt he smells his mother’s blood and senses her pain, and combined with the shock of experiencing something he doesn’t understand and all the different scents around, it’s unlikely he’ll let me examine him.”

The look Kaede sent him was very dry and suggested that this was reason number two as to why she’d called him. He shrugged and simply raised his brows as if to say “what?”

“Just do something,” the same colleague pleaded and there was a general murmur of concurrence of that statement from the people still present, three of which were police officers.  

Shaking his head, Inuyasha nonetheless did as he was bade, however before approaching he took a minute to appraise his tiny patient and his mother. He still couldn’t get over that the kid was in fact a half-demon like himself since they were such a rarity now a days, but he didn’t allow himself to think on it for too long. The kid was trying his level best to burrow inside his mother’s shirt - a shirt, he noticed, with numerous tears in it no doubt caused by wee claws - and she looked…well, she looked like hell.

Unsurprising, considering she’d just been in a goddamn accident, but still she looked about ready to collapse and before Inuyasha even realized it he was moving forward, absently slipping his hand inside the smaller bag he’d grabbed to set his tentative plan in motion.

“Sou, you’re gonna rip Mama’s shirt if you keep doing that,” Kagome murmured and once again gently stopped him from trying to crawl inside it. “I don’t feel like flashing everybody here if that’s okay with you.”

Souji screeched his protest and Kagome winced, fearing that after this she’d be partially deaf. Sure he’d had his tantrums before, but never like this. She hadn’t even known his voice could reach that pitch, and if it hurt her ears, she couldn’t even imagine what it was doing to his. Then again, he did keep them pinned down most of the time, and he was upset enough where he was ignoring all her attempts to calm him down, so perhaps he wasn’t even aware of it.

“Shh, Sou, it’s okay, Mama’s here,” she soothed for the nth time, kissing his forehead and rocking him in her arms, or as much as she could while sitting. “Mama’s got you, you’re safe, it’s alright…”

Her baby boy continued to cry, obvious, and Kagome’s heart broke a little more. God, she hated this, hated that she couldn’t figure out what he needed, hated that her son was so upset he was having trouble breathing, and she hated how useless she was. She felt like the world’s worst mother and tears pricked her eyes, but she stubbornly held them back. Now was not the time for that. She needed to be strong for her baby, she needed to be there for him. And no doubt he would smell her tears and become even more upset and she really wanted to avoid that.

Feeling helpless, Kagome started humming his favorite lullaby under her breathe as she rubbed his ears, but paused when she glanced up and saw the approaching figure. She sighed and shook her head in a wordless plea for him to keep his distance, vaguely registering that this was someone new she hadn’t seen before, with a lean build, broad shoulders, and long silver hair that hung over his shoulder in a loose ponytail. It didn’t matter, though; man or woman, human or demon, Souji always reacted the same and made it clear that they were not to be touched. She was positive this time would be no different.

As predicated, Souji started growling when he registered the new, unfamiliar scent that was drawing ever closer and when he was close enough Kagome opened her mouth to warn him. But then to her surprise, instead of getting too close and immediately trying to cajole Souji into compliance, the man stopped a few feet away and slowly lowered himself into a crouch before them.

Kagome blinked. Eyes the color of whiskey regarded her steadily before his head dipped in a slight nod and bemused, she returned it. His gaze flicked to the child in her lap and he seemed to be waiting for something, not moving, his posture relaxed, expression giving nothing away. If Kagome had bothered to look up at that moment she would have seen nearly everyone present was watching them but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the admittedly very attractive man in front of her who, she belatedly realized, must be an EMT judging by his attire.

Souji’s growling steadily grew in volume until, when the scent did not move away like anticipated, he spun around in Kagome’s arms and snarled at the newcomer, his little face screwed up and baring mini fangs. The man was unfazed, calm in the face of her infant son’s righteous fury and since he wasn’t in the vicinity of tiny claws, Souji merely continued to glare at him.

Though not exactly a very good tradeoff for his constant howling, the reprieve was nonetheless welcomed and Kagome was sure she was not the only one giving a soft sigh of relief.

Evidently having been waiting for Souji’s attention, the man braced one knee on the ground, propped his elbow on his opposite thigh, and then did something that Kagome’s exhausted brain was having a very difficult time processing.

He brought his hand up, reached into his uniform shirt pocket, and…brought out a…glowing red ball of light?

The results were instantaneous and so confounded by how the hell he did that, Kagome didn’t realize until a solid ten seconds later that Souji had gone quiet. His growls had stopped, he wasn’t snarling, and he wasn’t attempting to lash out of the man. Utterly captivated, his blue eyes were fixated on the red light grasped between the EMT’s clawed fingertips and Kagome could only gape at him in astonishment. Part of her was actually a little insulted that it had been that easy to gain his attention, but the much larger part of her was just plain glad he’d stopped screaming.

Satisfied he’d gained the pup’s undivided attention, Inuyasha resisted the urge to grin in amusement as he started “tossing” the red light back and forth from one hand to the other, those blue eyes following every move. Relieved his plan seemed to be working, he put on a little show for his two-person audience, making the light disappear and reappear, and he’d be lying it he said the look on the kid’s face was completely endearing.

So was the woman’s for that matter, but that was something to dwell on later.

Alright, on to part two now. Allowing one side of his mouth to quirk up into a half-grin, Inuyasha brought his hand to his mouth and pretended to swallow the red light before splaying out his hands, showing it was gone. The kid made a sound of confusion and blinked. Flicking a brief glance at the pup’s mom, Inuyasha lifted his hand and removed his hat, revealing the twin ears atop his head.

She gasped but he didn’t look at her again as he flicked his ear a few times for effect, tilted his head, and gave a few solid taps to his temple as if to empty his ears of water. He lifted his other hand to his ear and the red light reappeared between his fingers, as if he’d plucked it from his ear. The kid’s face lit up in delight and he caught the soft giggle of the woman before him.

Inuyasha dared to inch a little closer and when the child did not react, his eyes zeroed in on his hands, he edged closer until he was kneeling right in front of him. He never paused in his little magic trick, tossing the light and catching it again in his fingers, changing it up at times by putting the light in his fist and then opening it only to reveal it had vanished. He “ate” it a few more times, only for it to reappear on some random point on his body, and it wasn’t until the fear in the pup’s scent had significantly decreased that Inuyasha decided to take it a little further.

The next time he pretended to swallow the light, instead of plucking it off of his body, Inuyasha very slowly reached forward and grasped it out of thin air beside the pup’s head. He actually giggled that time and Inuyasha released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, giving a quiet chuckle as he caught the gaze of the woman behind the child.

She was smiling at him, big brown eyes bright, and he detected a trace amount of salt as she mouthed, “Thank you.”

Inuyasha swallowed thickly and felt his face grow a little warm as he nodded once, his stupid heart doing stupid little palpitation in his chest, and he returned his attention to the task at hand. The light appeared once again and he was surprised when the kid actually reached for it and amused, but grateful, Inuyasha held still and waited until little fingers curled around his own.

It disappeared and Inuyasha held his hands out as he rumbled, “Where’d it go?”

The pup blinked at him and pointed to his ear. Inuyasha obliged and reached for an ear not unlike his own, gasping softly when the light reappeared in his fingers.

“Found it,” he said and received a happy giggle before tiny hands went to grab it again.  It vanished, and he plucked it from under the babe’s chin this time.

Delighted, great blue eyes swung around to regard his mother with a big grin and Kagome couldn’t help but release a choked laugh and lean forward to kiss his forehead. God, she couldn’t thank this wonderful, beautiful man enough.

Inuyasha blew on his fingers and the light vanished. The toddler laughed and pointed to his nose. The older half-demon chuckled and plucked it off the tiny nose that time before boldly reaching for a small hand and placing the magic light onto the chubby little palm.

He held his hands up and said, “Throw it at me, bud.”

Blue eyes blinked at him but the Souji grinned and he waved his entire arm in an approximation of a toss.

“Whoa,” Inuyasha exaggerated, rearing back onto his heels and pretending as if the throw had a lot of force behind it. The kid laughed and bounced in his mother’s lap, utterly delighted. He held out his hand again and the silver-haired medical technician put the red light onto the small hand.

Immediately Souji smashed his hand against his mouth and Inuyasha gasped in faux outrage.

“Did you eat it?” he asked and was rewarded with joyful baby giggles. “Well then, I guess I have no choice but to…”

With a crooked grin, Inuyasha darted his hand out, tickled the pup’s round little tummy, and as the sound of his laughter rang into the night, he withdrew his hand with the magic red light grasped between his fingers.

Souji made the most adorable little “o” face and put both of his small hands over his belly, blue eyes wide as he stared down at it in astonishment. Then he whipped his head around to stare up at his mother in wide-eyed wonder and Kagome couldn’t help but laugh.

The toddler turned his attention back to the EMT in time to watch him put the red light in one pocket of his uniform slacks, only to bring it right back out of the opposite pocket with his other hand. He did this several more times, much to Souji’s giggling pleasure, before one hand up to his mouth and blowing on his fingers.

As he predicted, the kid gasped and started looking around, as if he would find the vanishing light floating about in the air somewhere. Flicking a glance at the woman behind the pup, Inuyasha wasn’t expecting to find her already staring at him, her eyes soft, her smile small but warm and totally grateful. The urge that slammed into him then was so strong and abrupt Inuyasha didn’t even think to fight it, his lips quirked upward slightly as he reached toward her.

Keeping his eyes locked on hers, he heard her soft gasp as he brushed his claws against her cheek, snapped his fingers beside her ear, then withdrew his hand with the red light glowing anew between clawed digits.

Absurdly Kagome felt her face heat in a soft blush even as a delighted smile blossomed across her face. In her lap Souji made a questioning noise and suddenly started squirming around until he was facing her. He pushed to his feet, balancing on her thighs, and Kagome’s hands automatically went to his waist to steady him as his hands reached for her ear and started inspecting it, his face utterly bemused as little sounds of confusion escaped him.

Inuyasha chuckled at the sight and figuring that was enough tricks for now since he still needed to examine his mom’s injuries – that cut on her forehead was especially concerning – he pocketed the fake fingertips and sat back to watch the two for a minute. Despite how clearly exhausted she looked, her patience was evidently limitless as she allowed her son to poke and prod around her head.

But then when he caught himself on her shoulders as he teetered a little on her lap, she gasped and then hissed through her teeth as her face scrunched up in involuntary reaction to the pain. Souji froze as his eyes went wide and as if he felt her pain as clearly as she did, his eyes started tearing up and he whimpered, his little hands fisting in her shirt.

Inuyasha’s eyes widened and they flew to Kagome’s. She was staring at him too, her eyes just as wide, and they knew if they didn’t do something fast Souji was going to go into another screaming fit.

Fuck. Fuck. Wracking his brain, Inuyasha darted his eyes to the pup, who was sitting on her lap now and putting even more tears in her shirt with his claws as he tugged at the fabric. Kagome grunted as she shifted him on her lap to alleviate his weight against her bruised flesh and Inuyasha went with the first idea that popped into his brain.

As Souji’s whimpering became louder, he flashed his eyes to Kagome and urgently mouthed, “Name?”

“Souji,” she immediately whispered back and started rocking her son in an attempt to stall his hysterics, wincing when his claws scratched at her skin through her shirt.

“Souji,” Inuyasha repeated aloud and much to his surprise the pup actually went quiet and turned around to stare at him, most likely perplexed as to how this stranger knew his name.

Encouraged, Inuyasha tried to appear as unintimidating as possible as he continued, “You know your mama is hurting, right? Do you want her to feel better?”

Souji blinked those great blue eyes at him and then nodded, his bottom lip trembling as more fat tears leaked from his eyes and another whine echoed in his throat.

Inuyasha nodded in what he hoped was in a reassuring fashion and cajoled, “Okay, champ, that’s good. Now listen up, I know how to make her feel better. I can treat your mom’s hurts and take the pain away, but in order to do that, I need you to let go of her and come to me, alright? Your mom needs help, and I want to give it to her. You understand?”

There was no way to tell if Souji did indeed understand what he was saying or if he didn’t as Inuyasha watched him, heart in his throat. The young half-demon frowned at him as if he was digesting the words, turning them over in his head, but at least he wasn’t on the verge of another break down which, in Inuyasha’s book, was a success.

Biting his lip, Souji turned his gaze to his mother and stared wide-eyed up at her, uncertainty and a smidgen of fright in those clear blue depths of his. Kagome’s heart ached and she smiled down at him, ignoring the ache in her side and shoulders as she gathered her baby boy closer and kissed him between his ears.

“It’s okay, baby,” she told him gently, rubbing one of his ears and then kissing his pudgy little cheek. “You can trust him, okay? He’s going to help me feel all better and take away all my hurts. Remember when Mama took care of you when you were sick last month? He’s gonna do the same thing, Sou.”

Souji blinked, furrowed his brow, then glanced back at the older half-demon, still a little uncertain. Could this stranger really make his Mama feel better? He remembered when his tummy hurt a while ago and Mama took care of him and made him some soup and crackers and rubbed his ears to make him feel better. This man would do the same?

The pup was still struggling a little on whether or not to trust him so Inuyasha gave him a little nudge in the right direction, slyly slipping his hand back into his pocket.

“You can trust me, squirt,” he rumbled and withdrew his hand to reveal his fingers alight with a familiar red glow. “I have magic fingers, remember? I promise I’ll make her feel better.”

The kid’s eyes grew wide once again as his gaze zeroed on in the clawed fingers. That’s right; he was magic! Then that meant he could make Mama feel better if he had magic hands. Right?

He looked at his mama again and when all she did was smile down at him with a little nod of encouragement, Souji made up his mind. His mama would never lie to him and he did want her to feel better. And besides…this man was different than the other people who tried to take him away from her.

He smelled like him, so he had to be good. Right?

Nodding and giving a little sniffle, Souji finally nodded back and slowly crawled off his mother’s lap. Relieved, Kagome helped him down, keeping her hands beneath his arms in case he slipped and when his tiny socked feet finally hit the cold pavement, she took a moment to rub his ear and run a hand through his hair, so very proud of her little boy.

“There’s my big boy,” she said softly, contrary to her thoughts.

Sniffling again, Souji wrinkled his nose and turned toward the other half-demon, hesitating before taking small steps over to him.

Breathing a sigh of relief and exchanging a quick thankful look with Kagome, Inuyasha offered a crooked grin at the kid and gestured him a little closer. Even though he was a half-demon like himself, he’d still feel better, and no doubt so would his mother, if he performed a brief exam just in case.

“Atta boy,” Inuyasha praised when the kid stopped in front of him and he reached up to ruffle his hair. The twin ears, just a shade lighter than the black hair, flicked in response and then he was rewarded with a soft, watery giggle.

“Thanks for trusting me, Souji,” he went on and reached down to tug his medical bag closer. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions first before I treat your mom?”

Souji wrinkled his nose and looked back at his mother as if wanting her approval. Kagome nodded and gestured that it was alright, so the little half-demon sighed and turned back toward the older male before giving a nod.

Inuyasha had to smile a little at that. “Thanks, bud. I’ll be quick. I’m gonna use this”—he held up a standard stethoscope—”so I can listen to your lungs and see if there’s anything wrong. That okay?”

Souji nodded again. He recognized that weird smelling thing whenever Mama took him to the get-better man.

“It’s gonna be a little cold,” he warned and with swift movements, Inuyasha placed the eartips into his ears before lifting up the hem of his shirt a little and pressing the diaphragm against the pup’s small chest. Souji squirmed a little at the cold steel but nonetheless stood there and allowed him to listen to his lungs.

“Everything sounds good,” Inuyasha announced a few minutes later and caught Kagome’s gaze over his patient’s shoulder. She was looking at him like he was her hero, eyes bright, the biggest, most grateful smile on her face and he could practically hear the sincerity in the two words as she mouthed to him, “Thank you.”

Inuyasha’s face softened even as a lump developed in his throat and he nodded once.

Putting the stethoscope back into his bag, the silver-haired medic started gently inspecting his arms and legs for scrapes or bruises as he asked, “Do you hurt anywhere? Your head? Ears? Feet?”

Souji wordlessly shook his head and bit his lip, unable to stop from wriggling beneath the older half-demon’s professional touch. He didn’t like people touching him, but he had to be a good boy so Mama could feel better. This was all for Mama, because he had to protect her, right?

“Do you feel sick? Does your stomach hurt?” Another negative. “Do you feel dizzy? Like you can’t see straight?” Souji once more shook his head, his young face open and honest.

Satisfied, Inuyasha nodded and pulled his hands away. “Good. Now, I have one last question.”

Souji cocked his head and blinked.

Inuyasha grinned. “Are you hungry?”

At that, Souji visibly perked up, ears swiveling forward, eyes going wide, and he put his hands over his tummy as if just now realizing he was indeed hungry.

The older half-demon took that as a yes and he chuckled a little then gestured him forward a little. Souji inched a little closer and Inuyasha placed his hand on the kid’s back as he directed his gaze over to a slightly confused, but smiling Kaede.

“See that woman over there, the short one with gray hair?” he asked and pointed across the way toward his boss. Souji stared blankly for a moment and then nodded. “She’s got some snacks for you along with some juice if you’re thirsty. Don’t worry, you can trust Kaede. She’s my friend and she’s also here to take care of your mom, alright?”

Souji was clearly hesitate though, despite the quiet rumbling in his tummy, and his ears flattened as he looked uncertainly between the nice man that smelled like him and the old lady he was pointing too before finally settling his gaze on his mom, needing a little guidance.

And even though her head was pounding, her side was aching, and her shoulder was burning, Kagome managed a warm smile for her little boy. Though it was slightly strained – something that Inuyasha did not fail to notice – it was completely genuine.

“It’s alright, Sou,” she encouraged, sounding tired but nonetheless sincere. “Go ahead. I know it’s late and you aren’t allowed snacks this time of night, but just this once is okay. Bring me back some juice, yeah?” She winked at him and was finally rewarded with her son’s brilliant smile.

Excited at the prospect of a snack so late at night, Souji nodded and with one last glance at Inuyasha, who quirked him an encouraging grin, he brushed by and headed toward the old woman, confident that the man would take care of his mama like he said he would. After all, he smelled like him and his ears were the same as his so he couldn’t be a bad person.

Kaede, already knowing what her half-demon subordinate was up to, gestured to one of the EMTs still lingering to fetch the bag of snacks she kept in her car for just this purpose. She knew it had been the right decision to call him in. Despite his constant gripes about being bad with children, he always proved himself wrong whenever it came to calming down a child and it was a sight she never got tired of. She was certain that the little boy being a half-demon like the EMT was definitely in his favor as well.

It was merely a bonus, she supposed with a sly little smile, that the boy’s mother was single and attractive to boot.

Chuckling to herself, Kaede thanked the young medic that handed over her bag full of treats and sweets and then told him, along with the rest of them still milling about, to either head back to the station and wait for another call. She was fairly certain Inuyasha could take things from here, and sneaking a glance over toward the two adults as the boy finally approached with wide blue eyes and cute little ears, she smiled.

Yes, she thought, kneeling down to Souji’s height with a warm smile. Calling Inuyasha in had been a very good idea.

Two pairs of eyes, one caramel colored and the other a rich honey hue, watched him toddle away, matching looks of relief on both of their faces. When the two-year-old reached the woman Inuyasha had pointed out to him, they both looked at one another and the smile she gave him had Inuyasha’s heart doing double time in his chest as his stomach did not so unpleasant flip-flops.

“I know I sound like a broken record at this point,” she began, her eyes suspiciously bright, “but I honestly can’t thank you enough. For your little show, stopping his crying, and looking him over even though he’s half-demon. So just…thank you.”

Inuyasha felt his cheeks warm and he shrugged, trying to play it off as he picked his hat off the ground and shoved it back on his head.

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled, although he couldn’t stop the little curl to his mouth a he picked up his bag and scooted a bit closer to her. “Just doing my job.”

“So calming down hysterical and terrified toddlers with magic tricks is in your job description?” Kagome teased and she was a little caught off guard by the slightly roguish grin the medic sent her.

“Keh. It worked, didn’t it?” he asked, not exactly sure where this confidence was coming from but not about to squander it. Not with the way she was smiling at him with a little blush on her cheeks and looking absolutely beautiful.

Inuyasha paused. Here she was, shirt nearly in tatters because of her son’s claws, hair a disheveled mess, face a little pale, bags under her eyes, and dried blood on her forehead from a cut and he thought she was beautiful.

Fuck. He was done for.

“I can’t argue with that,” she said, drawing him out of his musings and he focused his attention back on her. “I have to admit, even I was a little captivated. It was a neat trick.”

She giggled and good god could she get any fucking cuter.

“Oh good, because the real reason I do that particular trick is to reel in pretty mom’s with blue-eyed half-demon sons,” Inuyasha shamelessly flirted because fuck it, he was already one toe in dangerous waters he’d only ever attempted to swim in once before; why not just dunk his whole fucking body in in one go and get it over with because at this rate she’d have him on his knees before the night was over.

Crouching next to her now, Inuyasha watched in proud amusement as her pale face turned a deep, becoming shade of scarlet as those dark eyes widened with delighted realization. The corners of her lips twitched upward and she bit her lip, ducking her head a little shyly, but not once did she take her gaze off of his.

Yup. Totally, absolutely, wonderfully done for.

His eyes softened and he murmured, “What’s your name?”

“Kagome,” she replied right away, so trusting, so goddamn beautiful and god fuck she was pretty.

“Kagome,” he repeated and slid his arms beneath her body. She gasped and her arms automatically went around his neck. “I’m Inuyasha.”

Without preamble he stood with her in his arms, his medical bag slung over his shoulder even though he wouldn’t need it, and ignoring the knowing look he just knew his boss was casting him right now, he strode over to the idle ambulance with the open back doors and hopped inside.

“Better light and more convenient,” he explained as he carefully set her on the stretcher. “Plus it’s got better equipment and medical supplies than my bag does. And I think Kaede mentioned something about a possible sprained ankle?”

Kagome’s expression cleared and she nodded, flexing said ankle as if to test it and she winced at the twinge of pain that shot through it.

Silently the handsome golden-eyed medic started poking around the limited space of the vehicle, collecting the supplies required to treat her injuries and managing to find some painkillers along with bottle of water while rummaging about.

“I’m gonna start with that cut on your forehead since head injuries are top priority,” he announced and sank down on the cushioned seat provided for the medics before reaching over and tugging the gurney closer to him.

“Then if you’re alright with it, I’ll examine any contusions, determine if you have any fractured or bruised ribs, and take a look at your shoulder and ankle.”

Kagome gasped a little and curled her hands around the railing beneath her knees. He chuckled and gave the bed one final tug until her knees were between his spread legs. Perhaps the position was a little scandalous, but he needed a good look at that cut to determine if it needed stitches or not after he cleaned it.

“Sorry,” he murmured and received a smile in response. “I probably should have asked this before, but better late than never. Are you dizzy or lightheaded at all? Nauseas? Ringing in your ears? Any disorientation or confusion?”

Kagome took a moment to do a mental inspection of her body, but besides the general feeling of exhaustion and soreness, she otherwise felt fine and told him as much.

Relieved, Inuyasha offered her the painkillers and water for the no doubt pounding headache she had and she gratefully knocked them back with a swig of water. While she did that, he ripped open an alcohol swap and debated on whether or not to use gloves, but decided against it. His claws would just slice the latex, anyway.

He waited until his patient had had her fill of the cool refreshing liquid before muttering a word of warning for the sting and carefully started cleaning the cut on her forehead. Kagome hissed and flinched a little at the anticipated sting, but remained still so he could treat it with minimal difficulty, breathing deeply as she fisted her hands around the cold steel of the railing beneath her.

Inuyasha saw the strain on her face and his ears flattened against his head, feeling guilty, but knowing it was necessary. The more he cleaned it, though, the more apparent it became that she probably wasn’t going to need stitches so at least that was a bit of good news he was more than happy to share. This had no doubt already been the night from hell for her and he didn’t want to make it even worse.

“Good news is,” he said and used a fresh cotton swap to dab some antiseptic on it, “you don’t need stitches. It’s minor and should fully heal in a week or so.”

Kagome sighed, relieved. “And the bad news?”

Inuyasha’s mouth quirked. “It’ll probably leave a bit of a scar, but hey. It’ll look pretty badass, in my opinion. A battle scar.”

Kagome blinked and then snorted a laugh at that. “Something to tell the grandkids about?”

“Yeah, but lie and say you got it fighting a dragon.”

She outright laughed at that and Inuyasha grinned, thoroughly proud of himself. At least he seemed to have distracted her from any pain she might be feeling.

Then her laughter slowly turned into a groan as she wrapped an arm around her middle and bent over a little, however she was still smiling while shaking her head.

Grimacing, feeling a little guilty for indirectly being the cause of her pain, Inuyasha snatched a gauze pad and the medical tape, hoping she hadn’t fractured any ribs and they were merely bruised.

“You alright?” he asked once she straightened up, her face once again pale with lines of pain bracketing her mouth and eyes.

“Yeah,” she answered a little breathlessly and winced as she rubbed her chest, where the seat belt had dug into her skin when she’d been thrown forward. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he immediately said and reached up to brush her bangs away. “My fault for making you laugh. Can you breathe okay? One to ten, how bad is the pain?”

While he carefully went about applying the bandage to her cut, Kagome closed her eyes and thought about his question, trying to rate the amount of pain she was in. Probably not counting her head and ankle, she ranked it to be about a seven or so.

“Maybe a seven,” she answered honestly, knowing it wouldn’t be a very good idea to lie about that sort of information. “It hurts to breathe a little, but only a dull ache. Probably from when I got thrown forward against the seat belt.”

“Thing probably saved your life,” Inuyasha told her, keeping his eyes focused on the task of securing the bandage. Satisfied, he dropped his gaze back to hers, a slight frown furrowing his brow, and Kagome gasped a little at the intensity in his eyes.

“I’m glad you were wearing it,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble, and butterflies rioted in her stomach as he brushed his knuckles against her skin, just below the fresh bandage he’d just applied.

Swallowing, Kagome said a little breathlessly, “Me, too,” and she watched with a little thrill as his gaze dropped to her mouth.

Kagome’s breath sped up a little and she licked her lips. Inuyasha’s gaze grew heavy-lidded and the growl that leaked past his lips did very pleasant things to her insides. But just as she was about to say screw it and lean forward, Inuyasha’s expression suddenly cleared, he grimaced, and leaned back, turning his head with a light flush on his cheeks.

Hoping the disappointment didn’t show on her face, Kagome sighed and ducked her head, biting down on her lip. Well, that had been dumb, and she felt a little foolish now. What had she been thinking, leaning in like that and hoping…

“I need to check if you have any fractured ribs,” Inuyasha stated in a voice huskier than he would have liked and he cleared his throat. Though he was still blushing a little, he didn’t look away from her eyes as he continued, “If that’s alright with you, anyway. I’ll understand if you’d rather I didn’t and if that’s the case, I can go get Kaede and she can do it.”

Kagome blinked as she tried to understand what he meant by that, but then realization dawned and her eyes winded a little, her flush deepening at the thought of where his hands would be on her. But Inuyasha was a professional and she trusted him. Besides, Kaede was keeping Souji occupied, and she didn’t want her son to see the extent of the damage on her body.

Clearing her throat, Kagome managed a wan smile and responded, “No, it’s…okay. Go ahead, Inuyasha. I trust you.”

Inuyasha’s eyes widened at that and his ears perked straight up beneath his hat. Something warm and wonderful bloomed in his chest and the corners of his mouth quirked up slightly, those three simple words meaning more to him than she could ever know.

“Thanks,” he murmured as without being told, Kagome lifted her shirt to expose her belly and ribs while still keeping her modestly covered. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

Kagome smiled wordlessly and he leveled a quick grin at her before getting to work.

The first thing Kagome noticed was that his hands were warm and calloused, not at all unpleasant against her skin, and she almost missed it when he told her to take a deep breath because she was so focused on his touch. Inuyasha frowned, then withdrew one hand to take his hat off, dropping it to the ground before replacing it on her ribs and repeating his request for her to take a deep breath.

She did, her eyes trained on those adorable ears of his so much like her son’s, only a lovely sterling instead of black, and she winced a little when her chest protested the action. Inuyasha was still frowning as he moved his hands up and down her ribs and she breathed deep once more without being told. Again her sore body protested the movement, but it was bearable.

“Well,” he said after a moment and removed his hands from her, trying very hard not to think about how soft and smooth her skin had been. “I don’t think you have any cracked ribs, but there’s some definite bruising. I can’t tell for sure without an x-ray, and I’m assuming since you weren’t immediately whisked away to one when the ambulance got here that a hospital is out of the question.”

Kagome grimaced, but nodded. “With the way Souji was acting, it would have been a very bad idea. It probably would have just made the situation even worse.”

Inuyasha sighed and nodded as he raked his claws through his bangs. “You’re probably right. I do recommend it, though. Preferably as soon as you’re able.”

Kagome nodded in understanding. “Of course. Just…not tonight.” She smiled a little apologetically and he had to return it with his own lopsided grin.

“Nah,” he murmured, eyes soft. “I get it. As long as you can breathe fine, then there’s no urgency.” He nodded to her shoulder then. “Let me see?”

Wordlessly Kagome tugged the collar of her shirt over enough so the skin of her left shoulder was visible. Her eyes widened because this was the first she’d seen of the extent of the damage. No doubt caused from the seat belt, the wound was an angry, bright red stretch of skin that extended down to the top of her breast where the color changed to an array of yellow and purple. A few places had scabbed over where there had been open scrapes, and all in all in looked very painful. No wonder it had hurt so much when Souji had caught himself on her shoulders.

Inuyasha whistled low, drawing her attention, and she watched as he grimaced and very, very gingerly brushed his thumb over the bruised skin.

“Fuck, baby,” he murmured and Kagome blinked at the unexpected endearment but it seemed as if he hadn’t even realized what he’d called her, his eyes focused on her shoulder. “That thing really did a number on you.”

Kagome sighed and gave a tired, wry smile. “A small price to pay if it means I’m still here.”

His eyes flashed to hers and for the second time Kagome’s breath caught in her throat, her heart stalling, warmth blooming in her stomach, in her chest. Her lips parted and for the second time that gloriously honeyed gaze dropped to her mouth, making the blood rush in her veins as more butterflies took off in her belly. Inuyasha was the one to lean in this time, his hand sliding from her shoulder along her arm, claws gently grazing her skin and feeling her shiver beneath his touch.

He growled, Kagome sighed—and then a familiar and very unwelcome scent reached his nose right then and Inuyasha forced himself to lean away with a short growl of irritation, ears pinned against his head. Kagome blinked at him, confused and unable to hide the flash of hurt in her eyes as she sat back. Inuyasha cursed and opened his mouth to explain—

“Mama!”

Gasping, face dark red, Kagome spun around, and then groaned when her sore body protested, arm going around her middle as she muttered, “S-Sou?”

Sighing, Inuyasha leveled an annoyed glare at the old woman that stood before the open ambulance doors, one eyebrow lifted and a knowing little smirk on her face while Souji clambered up into the vehicle to be with his mother.

Recovering quickly, though with a strained smile, Kagome nonetheless accepted her son’s weight in her lap when he crawled onto it and shoved a juice box under her nose. She smothered him in kisses and hugs before taking the offered beverage and setting it aside for now, not particularly in the mood for some juice despite having asked him to bring her one.

While Inuyasha sighed and studiously ignored his boss still watching him with that damn smirk, he hunted down an ace bandage for her ankle since there wasn’t much that could be done for her side or shoulder except let them heal on their own.

“Thank you,” Kagome said and a quick glance revealed she was addressing Kaede with a grateful smile. “For watching him so Inuyasha can treat my injuries without a fussy toddler to distract him. I hope he wasn’t too much trouble and behaved himself.”

Smiling warmly at the young woman, Kaede shook her head and said, “Oh, not at all, my dear. Your boy was perfectly behaved and he was very pleasant company. I did my best to distract him for as long as I could, but I suppose his concern for mom came back after his third mini bag of animal crackers because he ran over here before I could stop him.”

“Three bags?” Kagome repeated with a little smile and poked her son’s belly. Souji giggled and tried to shove her hand away. “You little piggy.”

“No!” Souji protested through his giggles and shook his head with a grin.

Despite his initial irritation at having been interrupted, Inuyasha had to smile a little at the sight. Kid was cute; he had to admit that, at least to himself.

“Thanks, boss,” Inuyasha said loudly, drawing the old woman’s attention. “I got it from here. Can you take care of the paperwork for me? I still need to wrap Kagome’s ankle and take care of a few things.”

Kaede raised an eyebrow and that damned knowing smile was back, but thankfully she said nothing and simply nodded.

“Of course, Inuyasha,” she said, trying not to laugh. “You can have the next few days off too, since you came tonight despite having just ended your shift.”

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at her. “Sure,” he said slowly, knowing she was up to something, but not sure what.

Her one gray eye twinkled as she smiled at him then turned her gaze toward the mother and child, her expression softening.

“Kagome, was it?” she asked and said woman nodded. “My name is Kaede, dear. While usually I would say it has been a pleasure, I’m sure this night has been anything but for you, hm?”

Kagome sighed and smiled wryly, the exhaustion evident in her eyes and the lines on her pale face. Absently she ran a hand through Souji’s hair, who had settled down and was cuddled up against her chest, the long and eventful night finally catching up with him as a big yawn escaped his mouth.

Kaede’s heart went out to the poor girl and her child and she was glad she had Inuyasha to help her through such a hellish night. He was a good man with a good head on his shoulders; she knew she was in good hands and would be well taken care of.

“Make sure to get plenty of rest, dear,” she told her and Kagome nodded with a grateful smile. “You too, Souji, though it seems you’re already half way there.”

Blinking at the old woman drowsily, Souji grunted then burrowed his head into his mother’s good shoulder, his arms going around her neck with a gusty sigh.

Kaede chuckled and with one last glance at the clearly impatient half-demon that was still pegging her with an annoyed glare, she turned and headed back to wrap things up with the police. Kagome and Souji were in good hands; she wasn’t worried.

Shaking his head and grumbling under his breath, Inuyasha turned toward Kagome and discovered that Souji had more or less passed out in her lap, his breaths deep and even. Kagome was smiling gently down at him, all the love in her eyes as she kissed his head and rocked him slowly back and forth, stroking his hair and back like a loving mother would to her child.

Inuyasha’s heart melted and he suddenly wanted very, very badly to be a part of their cozy little duo.

But then reality slammed into him hard and he ducked his head to hide his grimace, ears flattening against his head as he fiddled with the rolled up ace bandage in his hand. What the hell was wrong with him—she’d literally just met him an hour prior, and he doubted dating was anywhere close on her mind on such on a shitty night. Plus, and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t even thought of this before, making him inwardly curse himself for his earlier attempt to kiss her, there was also the very real possibility that she was unavailable. Hell, she had a fucking kid; the father could be waiting at home for her, though if that was the case he wasn’t sure why the guy wasn’t here by now. Wouldn’t she have contacted him?

Beneath his hat, his ears perked just a little. Then again, she hadn’t mentioned anything about the kid’s old man, and maybe it was just wishful thinking, but he could have sworn she’d leaned in earlier like she wanted to kiss him before he foolishly pulled away, so…maybe not?

He flicked a hopeful glance at mother and child, took in the tiny ears on top of Souji’s head, and the hopes promptly came crashing back down. Souji was a half-demon, which meant the father was a full demon.

Why go for half when she could have full.

Inuyasha bit back a groan and dragged a hand down his face. Dammit, he was reading too far into this. She was his patient, for god’s sake, he had no right to—

“Inuyasha?”

Startled out of his thoughts by the soft inquisitive voice, Inuyasha jerked his head up and his gaze collided with dark, beautiful depths filled with concern, delicate eyebrows dipped down into a small frown.

“Hey,” she said, offering a little smile. “Are you okay? I lost you for a second there.”

Inuyasha blinked at her choice of words and the instinctive response of “You’ll never lose me, Kagome” was right on the tip of his tongue but then he remembered himself and shook his head. Fucking hell.

“Yeah, uh, no,” he said, frowning at his own words and tried again. “I’m fine, Kagome. Sorry. Didn’t mean to space out on ya.”

Her smile broadened. “No need to be sorry. It’s been a weird night, huh?” She chuckled a little and Inuyasha couldn’t help but level a crooked grin at her.

“Yeah,” he agreed then held up the forgotten ace bandage in his hand. “Which ankle is bothering you? I’ll check it out and wrap up so you can finally call it a night and head home.”

“That sounds heavenly,” Kagome said with a sigh and lifted her right foot. “This one. Please tell me it’s not broken.”

Inuyasha only tossed her a wry grin before very carefully pulling off her slip-on shoe and cradling her bare foot in his hands. She winced a little when he turned it over as he inspected and she shook her head at his muttered apologies.

“Can you pin point the pain for me?” he asked and leaned forward to tenderly touch her fingertips to the soft part of her ankle, just a little above the bone. There was some mild swelling and she could still flex her ankle slightly, but not without pain.

“You’re in luck,” Inuyasha said after a minute and shifted forward to prop her foot on his knee while he prepared to wrap bandage around it. “Looks like it’s just a mild sprain, but you should still keep your weight off of it as much as you can.”

Kagome laughed dryly and at his inquisitive look, she raised her brows and remarked, “It’s hard to stay off your feet when you’re a single mother with a hyper-active two-year-old.”

Despite himself Inuyasha felt the hope bloom warm and wonderful in his chest again and he really hoped the excitement didn’t show on his face. She was single. She was single. The dad wasn’t in the picture, fuck yes!

Wow, you fucking idiot, can you be any more insensitive? To hide the shameful blush that colored his face, Inuyasha ducked his head and focused on wrapping her ankle. For all he knew, something tragic could have happened and she might still be recovering. Jumping to conclusions would not only be foolish, but inconsiderate to her as well, and he needed to stay in her good graces if he ever wanted to have a chance with her.

And he wanted. God, did he ever.

“Is there anyone that would be willing to stay with you for a while? Friends? Family?” Inuyasha only flicked her a brief glance before turning his gaze back to his task, not wanting to make the wrap too tight or uncomfortable.

Kagome wrinkled her nose and adjusted Souji in her arms, wincing when her shoulder protested the movement.

“Mama and Gramps are both retired and don’t have the energy to chase after a toddler like they used to, and my brother is away at college. And the only friend I really have is…well, he’s not really…a good candidate for babysitting.”

Inuyasha paused to quirk a brow up at her, a wordless inquiry.

Kagome sighed and her voice was dry. “Let’s just say that Miroku is more interested in the baby making process than actually raising one.”

The silver-haired medic snorted and continued his work, passing under the arch of her foot and around her ankle one last time before gently securing the end via the strong Velcro attached to it.

“How’s that?” he asked, sitting back and inspecting his handiwork. “Not too tight?”

Flexing her foot a bit, Kagome smiled and nodded in approval. “Feels perfect. You’re really good at that; I remember whenever I hurt my ankle when I still lived at home Mama always made it too tight or too loose so I had to fix it myself.”

Inuyasha shrugged off the compliment, though inwardly his ego was inflating to twice its normal size.

“It’s my job,” he remarked and started putting everything back where he’d found it. “Be a pretty shitty EMT if I couldn’t do something I was specifically trained for.”

A soft laugh reached his ears. “I suppose you’re right.”

They lapsed into comfortable silence, and since the driver for this damn thing was still nowhere in sight, Inuyasha decided to give voice to a curiosity that refused to leave him alone and really, really hoped he wouldn’t regret it.

“So, uh,” he began, frowning down at the plastic bin of bandages in his hand as he tried to think of how to phrase it without sounding like an opportunistic asshole. He slid the bin back home to its proper place in one of the cabinets and tried to make himself look busy, avoiding her curious gaze.

“Pup’s father. Is he, uh, is he still around? Why isn’t he here?”

As soon as the words left his mouth Inuyasha wanted to slam his head against the nearest hard surface. Smooth, asshole. Real smooth.

Too busy beating himself up, he missed the little smile that curled Kagome’s mouth as she watched him. Honestly she’d been waiting for him to ask that question. She’d purposely hinted earlier that she was unattached by saying she was a single mother and he hadn’t seemed to really take the bait, so she was glad he took the initiative this time and asked. She’d thought about dropping another hint, but didn’t want to seem too desperate.

“Do you remember how Souji was acting earlier?” she asked by way of reply. “Growling, sort of aggressive and wouldn’t let anyone come near me?”

Not expecting that, Inuyasha turned toward her, the confusion evident on his face. But then he frowned and nodded, prompting Kagome to continue.

“Last year his father and I got into a screaming match that got out of hand and he punched me in the face. Souji saw it happen. I left him and ever since that day Souji has been extremely protective of me and he’s very distrustful of strangers, especially men.”

She looked down at the slumbering boy in her arms and her expression softened, her smile turning sad as she kissed his little brow.

“My fierce little warrior,” Kagome murmured, smoothing back his hair before glancing back at the handsome medic. Inuyasha was frowning at her but she could see the concern in his eyes with a hint of anger simmering just beneath the surface and she had to smile. He was angry because of what had happened to her, even though it had happened a year ago, and she thought that was incredibly sweet.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Inuyasha said, his voice a low rumble and his gaze intense, sincere as he stared into her eyes. “I’m sorry Souji has such a shitty sperm donor, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to deck the son of a bitch myself for hitting you. Women are meant to be protected. Cherished…loved. Never hurt.”

Kagome didn’t know what to say to that so she said nothing, eyes locked on his and heart in her throat.

Another moment of silence passed as the two of them simply gazed at one another, the air between them charged, heavy with something both of them didn’t quite understand, but then Inuyasha sighed and racked a hand through his hair, shaking his head. Kagome blushed and cleared her throat, dropping her gaze to watch her son’s face, relaxed in sleep.

“So you’re telling me a full demon punched you in the face and he didn’t knock you the fuck out?” Inuyasha quite tactlessly asked, a puzzled frown creasing his brow.

“I saw it coming and managed to dodge at the last second so he only glanced my cheek and temple,” Kagome readily answered, grateful for the subject change if only to calm the rabid beating of her heart. “I smacked my head against the kitchen counter as I went down and I was dizzy for a few minutes, but it passed and I was able to grab Sou and get the hell out of there. I haven’t seen him since.”

“So you have full custody,” Inuyasha assumed.

Kagome nodded and heaved another sigh. “Yes. But even if I didn’t and it was shared, I still wouldn’t see hide nor hair of him.”

Inuyasha’s eyebrows rose at that. “You mean the asshole has no interest in his own son?”

Kagome closed her eyes and the smile that curled her lips was so incredibly sad Inuyasha had to fight against the urge to take her into his arms.

“Souji is the reason why we were arguing that day,” she explained, eyes fluttering open to regard her baby boy the way only a loving mother ever could. “When I told Kouga that I was pregnant, he told me to get rid of it. He didn’t want a half-breed to be related to him in any way, shape, or form, regardless if it was his own offspring or not. I didn��t, of course, and our relationship deteriorated after that. I know I should have left him that day, but part of me hoped…”

She trailed off with a sigh and idly ran a hand through Souji’s dark hair. The toddler stirred slightly and grunted softly in his sleep, but settled down soon after, going still with a quiet sigh. Kagome kissed his head, so overcome with love for her brave, beautiful little boy.

“At the risk of sounding completely selfish and maybe even a bit like an asshole,” Inuyasha began, drawing Kagome’s gaze back to him and he stubbornly refused to look away despite his face heating.

“I’m…sorta glad it happened. I mean not that he punched you of course, I would never—because you’re here now and—ah, fuck.”

Groaning, Inuyasha dropped his head in his hands and willed himself to just fucking turn into a ghost so he could phase into the goddamn ground or some shit but then the sound of soft laughter reached his ears and he dared at a glance at his beautiful patient. Judging by the hand over her mouth, she’d tried to stifle her mirth and failed but even if she’d succeeded, the amusement in her eyes would have tipped him off easily and despite himself Inuyasha felt himself grinning in return.

“Me, too,” Kagome whispered, lowering her hand to reveal a soft, beautiful smile and fuck, what he would give to have her look at him like that all the damn time.

Inuyasha opened his mouth to say something, anything as long as she’d keep looking at him like that, but then she suddenly yawned and he remembered where they were. She blinked and then gave a sheepish smile and shrugged.

Chuckling, Inuyasha pulled out his phone and checked the time. “Two AM,” he supplied and tucked it back in his pocket. “Things are wrapping up here anyway, so how about we call it a night and get you two home?”

The thought of her bed was nearly enough to make her weep. “That sounds like the best idea I’ve heard all night,” Kagome replied and shifted Souji in her arms again. Her shoulder twinged in protest and she hissed through her teeth.

“Um, can you do me a favor?”

Inuyasha crossed his arms and cocked a brow at her, waiting.

“Could you get his car seat for me, please? My shoulder is starting to really hurt for holding him for so long.” She tossed him a pleading smile and he was helpless but to obey.

He deliberated for only a second, casting a brief glance at the child in her arms before surprising her by saying, “I’ll do it.”

She blinked. “What?”

Shrugging, though not without a slight flush on his cheeks, Inuyasha turned his gaze away and repeated, “I’ll put him in it. I mean if you don’t mind. It’ll save you from having to lift your arm if it’s hurting you that much.”

Both of her brows lifted into her bangs and she tilted her head. “Do you know how?”

Inuyasha frowned and looked offended.

Immediately Kagome winced and shook her head, a flush darkening her face. 

“Sorry, that was rude,” she murmured and received a grunt in response. “I was just surprised, is all. I didn’t mean to insinuate anything.”

He grumbled but nodded and Kagome somehow knew he wasn’t really upset over it. Still, she leveled him with an apologetic smile and adjusted Souji in her arms to make the transfer easier.

“Please,” she entreated softly and the wind was abruptly blown right out of his sails.

Relaxing, Inuyasha wordlessly bent down to carefully take the slumbering child from her arms and cradle him in his own. Souji didn’t stir and Kagome watched as the handsome medic who had taken such good care of them tonight stepped off the ambulance and crossed the scant distance to the car seat sitting on the ground. The sight of him slowly settling her baby boy in and checking to make sure everything was secure warmed her heart in ways she hadn’t felt for over two years now. It made her think that maybe, just maybe…that missing piece of her heart, the part that Kouga had viciously destroyed with his actions and carelessness of his own son, could be replaced with a new, much stronger piece to make it whole again.

And that piece had golden eyes, a fanged grin, and two adorable silver dog ears so much like her little Souji’s.

Kagome was just thinking that maybe this night wasn’t as bad as she thought it was when Inuyasha returned and gingerly set her son’s car seat with sleeping toddler cradled within on the ambulance floor before hopping back up into it.

With a rumbled word of warning, he slipped his hands beneath her and easily lifted her up into his arms, only to hop back to the ground a minute later and set her beside her son.

“Sit tight,” he said and before he could stop himself he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ll bring my truck around since I can’t carry you both at the same time with him in that thing.”

“You’re gonna take me home?” Kagome questioned, surprised, but undoubtedly pleased.

He leveled her with a look and quipped, “You really think I was gonna make you walk home with a bum ankle and a toddler?”

Kagome offered him a sheepish smile. Neither of them pointed out that she could just catch a ride with one of the cops still hanging around for whatever reason.

Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha shook his head and walked away, grumbling under his breath about silly wenches and dumb questions, Kagome’s soft laugher following after him.

Fifteen minutes later Inuyasha had his two patients bundled into his truck with the still snoozing Souji secured in the backseat of the crew cab and Kagome beside him in the passenger’s seat. Despite it being a rather mild night, she was wearing his leather jacket that had been lying on the floor in the back, the EMT claiming that he hadn’t wanted her to get sick on top of everything else she’d endured tonight. Kagome had simply smiled and tugged the garment closer against her and Inuyasha had delighted in the fetching shade of scarlet that colored her cheeks.

The ride to Kagome’s apartment was spent in comfortable silence but that had more to do with Kagome being dog-tired than not having the need to fill the quiet with soft chatter. Inuyasha let her doze with her head resting against the widow and he was content to steal brief glances at her during the short commute. Souji hadn’t stirred once strapped into the back and the half-demon doubted the pup would wake any time before 7 am, possibly later since he’d had a long night.

Parking in front of the address Kagome had given him, Inuyasha put his truck in park then cut the engine before turning his attention to his lovely passenger. She hadn’t stirred, and he hated to wake her up, but he needed to get them both inside so they could get some proper rest.

“Kagome,” he murmured and reached over to gently nudge her awake. “We’re here. Kagome?”

She murmured and frowned, but otherwise ignored him and he chuckled. Shaking his head, he unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted his hand to tenderly cup her cheek, sweeping his thumb across the softness of her skin.

“C’mon, baby,” he rumbled and was gratified to see caramel eyes flutter open to blink drowsily at him. “Let’s get you and Sou inside so you can get some sleep in a real bed. Doubt you’d be very comfortable out here all night.”

Blinking once more before wrinkling her nose in the most adorable way, Kagome offered a small, sleepy smile and gave a slight nod. She yawned and Inuyasha hopped out to retrieve Souji still passed out in his car seat. The older half-demon was a little surprised the pup didn’t wake even once as he carefully scooped him up into his arms, figuring he’d just come back for the car seat after he’d settle the two of them inside. Instead Souji merely sighed, snuggled against his chest, and Inuyasha’s heart about damn near exploded with affection for the kid.

It was astounding, and maybe a little frightening, how badly he wanted these two in his life, and he hoped to god that Kagome would allow him to see them again after tonight.

Keeping the sleeping toddler secured against him with one arm, Inuyasha helped Kagome down with his other arm tight around her waist and he effortlessly bore most of her weight as he led them down the short sidewalk to her front door. He didn’t like how she’d left her door unlocked, but after her explanation of how she’d planned on coming right back after a short drive to get Souji to sleep, he accepted it with a soft grunt and more or less carried the both of them inside her cozy little apartment.

Reluctantly he released Kagome and she took her son from his arms before tossing him a quick smile and turning to no doubt put him to bed. Inuyasha watched her go, frowning at her limp, but forced himself to remain where he was. She needed to stay off of her ankle for it to get better, but he couldn’t very well tuck in her son for her. While he wouldn’t have minded, he didn’t want to impose, and they had just met, after all.

He also didn’t like the thought of her staying here alone with no one around to help and he thought about asking her if it was alright for him to stay, but again he didn’t want to be weird or make her uncomfortable. They were practically strangers and despite the strangely overpowering need to care for and protect the both of them, he didn’t want her to think he had an ulterior motive or the paramedic side of him wanted to ensure she would be alright.

No, it went much deeper than that. But he didn’t want to scare her or freak her out, so he’d force himself to back off unless she outright told him she wanted him around. Or hell, he’d even take a very obvious hint that was impossible to ignore. He didn’t want this to be the last time he saw her, or the kid, and he desperately hoped the feeling was mutual.

Kagome came limping back down the hallway after closing Souji’s door most of the way and instantly Inuyasha diverted all of his attention on her. She looked utterly drained as she gimped her way over to him, however she still managed to muster up a smile for him and his heart ached.

Inuyasha closed the remaining distance between them and wordlessly scooped her back up into his arms. Kagome’s exhaustion was evident in the way she didn’t even gasp, merely releasing a quiet sigh as he strode down the hallway and followed his nose to Kagome’s bedroom. He set her down on the bed and knelt before her so he could carefully remove her shoes for her. He checked her bandage while he was at it, making sure it was good and secure before resting his hands on her knees and lifting his gaze to hers.

“Thank you,” she whispered and he knew it wasn’t just for taking off her shoes.

“I wish I could do more,” he confessed, eyebrows dipping into a slight frown. “I don’t like the thought of you being here by yourself. Are you sure there’s nobody you can call? I’m sure even your friend Miroku wouldn’t mind helping out if you told him what happened.”

Kagome stared at him, warmth blossoming in her chest. Somebody must be really looking out for her up there to introduce her to such an amazing, caring man like Inuyasha. Granted, she could have definitely done without the circumstances in which they met, but, well…beggars can’t be choosers and all that.

“It’s sweet of you to worry,” Kagome began, lifting a hand to cup his cheek and she smiled when he unabashedly leaned into her touch. “But I promise I’ll be okay. Souji will no doubt crawl into bed with me sometime during the night and wake me up when he’s hungry. After he eats something he’ll probably go back to sleep and I’ll be able to stay off my ankle, if not catch a little more shuteye myself.”

Inuyasha still didn’t look happy, but he finally conceded with a sigh and a nod. “Can I at least leave my number with you so you can text me if you need help? Just for my own peace of mind. Please.”

Boldly he reached up, dragged his claws against the soft skin of her jaw and caught a strand of ebony hair between his fingers. He kept his gaze on hers as he brushed his knuckles against her cheek and he heard the way the breath hitched in her throat. Inuyasha fought back a grin and tenderly tucked the lock of dark silk behind her ear.

Biting her lip, Kagome didn’t give herself time to think as she dropped her hand to grab the lapel of his uniform shirt, fingers curling into the fabric to keep him close. Inuyasha didn’t move, didn’t even dare to breathe as she smiled and peered at him from beneath twin fans of midnight lashes.

“You could,” she murmured, her smile widening just a bit. “Or…you could stop by tomorrow morning and we could maybe talk over coffee and pancakes. If you want.”

Abruptly the breath left Inuyasha’s lungs in a relieved whoosh of air and he nodded, eyes going hooded as he slipped his hand into her hair.

“Yeah,” he said, voice husky. “I want.”

“Yeah?” Kagome repeated, eyes bright, lips curving up even further in obvious delight.

Inuyasha nodded again, gaze fastened to her mouth, and that time Kagome sighed. Her hand tightened on his shirt, refusing to let go, or maybe she was unable to. She couldn’t tell, not with the way Inuyasha was staring at her. Or more accurately her mouth and unconsciously she swallowed, lips parting on a stuttered breath.

“Okay,” he muttered. “Alright. Good.”

“Good.”

They stared at each other, saying nothing, her hand gripping his shirt, his in her hair, and Inuyasha was fighting desperately to keep himself where he was, to not give in no matter how bad he wanted to. He couldn’t take advantage of her like that, he couldn’t risk destroying the trust she had so graciously given him—

She breathed his name, the softest of whispers falling from her lips, and Inuyasha’s control shattered.

“Aw, to hell with it,” he muttered right before surging up and claiming her mouth in the passionate kiss he’d been wanting to give her all damned night.

Immediately Kagome responded, both hands gripping his shirt now as Inuyasha braced his knee on the bed beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her from falling as he leaned over her. He nipped her lips and she parted them with a gasp that turned into a whimper as he deepened the kiss, greedy for her taste. Despite the hunger ravaging in his gut, however, he kept his kiss gentle, his mouth moving over hers in a hot, sensual dance that she eagerly reciprocated with flicks of her tongue and gentle nips.

He growled and with his hand cupping the back of her head, fingers tangled in her hair, Inuyasha pulled back only to press a series of hot, lingering kisses to her mouth but it wasn’t long before he was unable to keep himself from going in for a much longer, deeper taste once more. Her breathy laugh turned into a moan and he would have smirked in arrogant pride had he had the higher brain function to do so.

Several heated seconds later, Inuyasha finally pulled back to allow them both to breathe and he rested his forehead against her own as they panted for breath.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” Inuyasha admitted in a low rumble that sent pleasant tingles down Kagome’s spine.

“Funny,” she whispered. “I’ve been wanting you to do that all night, too.”

He chuckled and couldn’t help but to brush one last lingering kiss across her smiling lips.

“Get some sleep,” he entreated against her lips. “And I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” she sighed and gave him a sleepy, but genuine smile. “Good night, Inuyasha. Thank you for…everything.”

Inuyasha smiled at her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Anytime,” he husked. “Good night, baby. Sleep well.”

He helped her get settled into bed and wasn’t surprised that she was out as soon as her head hit the pillow. Inuyasha sighed, kissed her brow one more time, and then quietly stole out of her bedroom to let her sleep. Before he even thought about what he was doing, and almost like it was second nature, he checked on Souji who was still fast sleep in his little toddler bed before making sure all the lights were off and ensuring her door was locked when he finally left a few minutes later.

Just as she’d predicted, Kagome woke up just a little after 7 am to the feeling little hands on her face. She opened bleary eyes to find her son hovering over her, wee hands on her cheeks and blinking owlishly down at her. The biggest, sunniest grin split his cherubic face when he saw that she was finally awake and he patted her cheeks with a happiness only a child could have after only going to sleep a few hours before and getting up at what the fraaaaack o’clock in the morning.

Tiny fingers grabbed her nose and Kagome sighed even as a tired smile lifted the corners of her lips.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Kagome murmured and then released a yawn. “It’s too early for your shenanigans, Sou.”

“Mama,” Souji said by way of reply as his mother levered herself upright with a groan. God, she hurt everywhere. Her entire body was sore, not just her torso and shoulder. Not surprising, considering what she’d went through last night, but still.

Ow.

With a soft grunt, Kagome very, very slowly wriggled around until she managed to get her feet on the floor, her sore body protesting every movement. Obviously any pain meds she’d taken last night had worn off by now and her ankle throbbed in protest when she put a little weight on it. Kagome winced and dragged a hand down her face. God, today was going to suck.

But at least she had something to look forward to, Kagome mused to herself, a little smile lighting her face as she remembered they were going to have a visitor that morning. Which meant she needed to get her ass in gear, take a much-needed shower, and feed her hungry toddler.

Souji wedged himself between her knees and stared up at her with worried blue eyes.

“Hurt?” he asked and very gently patted her knee as if the barest touch would cause crippling pain.

Kagome sighed and smiled for her little boy, running a hand through his dark hair and tweaking his ears.

“Yes,” she admitted. “But I’ll be fine, baby. It’s only a little hurt”—lie—“and I’ll feel better once I take a nice hot shower and get some food in our tummies.” She poked his belly and was relieved to see the smile bloom across his face.

“Puffs,” he said and darted for the kitchen.

“Puffs it is,” Kagome murmured and taking a deep breath, she braced her hands on the mattress and slowly pushed herself to her feet. There was pain, but it was tolerable, and she tried to keep as little weight on her bad ankle as she could as she hobbled her way to the kitchen to pour her two-year-old a bowl of Cocoa Puffs cereal.

Even though she wanted nothing more than to sleep all day to let her weary, banged up body recover, being a single mother made that very tempting option unavailable So, despite being slow and muttering curses under her breath every few minutes, Kagome provided her boy with his coveted diabetes-on-a-bowl disguised as sugary chocolate cereal and then went about making herself a cup of much-needed coffee.

After two cups and by the time Souji had finished his second bowl, Kagome was starting to feel human again and since her son had wandered off into the living room to watch cartoons, Kagome seized this chance to take a shower. She knew Souji would pass out soon after on the couch so she wouldn’t have to worry about him for a few hours, or at least until Inuyasha arrived.

The thought of the handsome medical technician brought a flush to Kagome’s cheeks and warmth to flood her entire body. She couldn’t wait to see him again and she wondered if he was as excited about it as she. She could only hope, and the giggle that bubbled up in her throat as she hobbled into the bathroom was girlish and completely involuntary.

Half an hour later Kagome was showered, dressed, and feeling much more like herself, if not still a little tired, but she supposed that was to be expected. The pain meds she’d taken with her coffee had dulled the pain in her ankle, side, and shoulder, and she was grateful because the pain would make whipping up some breakfast much more difficult.

Unsurprisingly Souji was passed out cold in the most ridiculous position on the couch while Paw Patrol played on the television and Kagome left him be to start breakfast. She had no idea when Inuyasha would show up and she wanted to have something made up by then.

Unfortunately, she didn’t get very far before her phone started ringing and Kagome whipped her head around to stare at the device. It was still on the counter where she’d left it last night before venturing out for a drive with Sou and she sighed because she had an idea as to who it could be. And lo and behold, when she picked it up, “Mama” flashed across the screen.

Kagome grimaced, braced herself, and answered.

The conversation with her mother went as expected. Evidently someone from the accident scene last night had captured a brief video snippet of Inuyasha performing his little magic show for Souji and her mother had seen it circulating on social media. Asako explained that she recognized her own daughter and grandson in the video and Kagome managed to calm her down enough to enlighten the older woman what had happened. Several times she had to assure her mother that she and Souji were both fine and probably sometime later that day they were both going to go to the hospital to get an official checkup and an x-ray for Kagome’s ankle and ribs.

Of course, her mother being her mother, wanted to come over and help with Souji while Kagome focused on recovering, but the younger woman managed to convince her that she didn’t need to make the drive just for a likely sprained ankle. She might have put in the little white lie that Miroku would be stopping by later and it was enough to pacify Asako into agreeing.

It wasn’t really a surprise that seconds after hanging up with her mother, her phone beeped with a text message from Miroku but she really didn’t have the energy to put up with him right now so she ignored it and went about preparing breakfast.

In hindsight, she really should have replied to that message.

It was about a quarter after nine when the doorbell rang and instantly butterflies took off in Kagome’s belly from a combination of nerves and excited anticipation. Still, though, it was impossible to hold back the brilliant smile that spread across her flour-dusted face as she shuffled as fast as she could to the front door, heart pounding in her chest as she quickly unlocked it and whipped it open. God, but it was embarrassing how much she’d missed him—

“What the hell are you doing here?” Kagome asked, her radiant expression instantly dropping to one of horror.

Kouga didn’t answer and instantly zeroed in on the bandage on her forehead, blue eyes narrowing as a sense of unease roiled in his gut. So the stupid human hadn’t been lying, then. Least he was good for something other than grabbing ass.

“I don’t want you here,” Kagome hissed after recovering from the shock of seeing her ex out of nowhere. “Leave. Now.”

Stone-faced, she grabbed the door and started to close it in his face, but Kouga wedged his foot into the threshold and prevented it. Kagome glowered at him and tired again, but Kouga pushed his way inside, forcing her to stumble backward and nearly crumple to the floor as her ankle was forced to bear her weight. She gasped as pain ricocheted up her entire leg and she would have fallen backward had it not been for her ex grabbing her wrist and hauling her back up.

“What the fuck, Kagome,” Kouga growled and darted his gaze down to her feet, snarling when she saw she was favoring her right one. “Were you really in a goddamn accident last night and didn’t fucking tell me?”

Regaining her bearings and her balance, Kagome yanked her wrist out of his grip and stumbled backward with a scowl, dark eyes flashing with a mixture of pain and anger.

“Why the hell would I tell you anything?” she snapped, flicking her gaze toward the living room and hoping like hell Souji would remain asleep. “We’re not together anymore, Kouga, or don’t you remember when you punched me in the face?”

Crossing her arms, Kagome simply glared at him, giving up on getting him to leave because she knew in her current state there was shit all she could do. Even if she were at peak physical health, he was still ten times stronger than she and he never let her forget it, either.

To her surprise, Kouga actually looked regretful as he winced and thrust a hand through his bangs. His hair was up in its usual ponytail, but it looked as if he’d dressed in haste, donned in a simple t-shirt and loose sweatpants he wore when jogging. Oh please; don’t tell her he was actually worried?

“C’mon, Kagome, you know I hate it when you bring that up,” he muttered, having the audacity to actually look embarrassed. “I said I was sorry and it’ll never happen again. It’s been a year, can’t we just forget about it and—”

“You and I both know it’s far more than just a punch to the face, Kouga,” Kagome murmured, face tight with pain and old fury that bubbled up to the surface at his sudden reappearance. How the hell had he even found out, anyway? As far as she knew he wasn’t on social media and her mother would never reach out to him after what happened last year.

Kouga tensed and clenched his jaw, cobalt eyes going hard and cold as steel. Evidently his opinion hadn’t changed about half-demon’s and the old scar he’d left on her heart ached.

Deciding now wasn't the time or place to revisit that particular topic, Kagome sighed roughly and leveled him with a suspicious glare.

“How did you even find out, anyway? I know my mother didn’t tell you.” She arched an expectant brow.

Kouga snorted. “Of course she didn’t,” he confirmed. “It was that perverted friend of yours, Miro-whatever. At least he had the sense to—”

Tuning out the rest of whatever he was going on about, Kagome snapped her gaze around to land on her discarded phone still lying on the counter and the color drained from her face when realization dawned. Oooh, that complete and utter moron! That asshole! She was going to throttle him when she saw him next!

“Ooooh, I’ll kill him,” she hissed, glaring with such vehemence at her phone it was a wonder it didn’t burst into flames right there on her counter.

“—good thing he did because you can’t be staying here alone in your condition, you could fall and hurt yourself even worse—”

“Shut up, Kouga,” Kagome cut him off and the wolf-demon was so startled by her cold tone he actually did. “I have no idea why Miroku would ever contact you because it’s literally none of your business what happens to me or Souji because we are no longer together. I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I liked it that way, so now I want you to leave before my son wakes up and sees you. We’ve both had a very long night and he does not need the stress of your presence after what he went through last night. So get out. I’ll be talking with Miroku to make sure he never contacts you again.”

Arms tight across her chest, dark eyes stern and lips in a flat, thin line, Kagome stared him down and didn’t even flinch at the low growl her ex-boyfriend emitted.

“Like hell I’m leaving here without you,” Kouga growled, his eyes twin pools of blue fire as he stalked forward and reached for her arm. “I don’t care what you say, you can’t be alone—”

“So you’re the asshole sperm donor Kagome told me about, huh.”

While Kouga stiffened and slowly turned around with a dark scowl on his face, relief swept through Kagome and the smile that split her face was grateful and positively radiant.

“Inuyasha,” she breathed and Kouga sneered, crossing his arms as he took in the unwanted newcomer.

Leaning against the door jamb, a paper bag tucked under his arm and holding a cardboard drink holder with two coffees in it, Inuyasha looked unimpressed as he returned the once over before shifting his gaze to the woman behind the wolf. Kagome looked infinitely glad to see him, relief swimming in those dark eyes of hers, and his expression softened. Damn, he’d missed her.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Inuyasha ignored the question and kept his gaze on Kagome.

“You alright?” The sperm donor was blocking most of his view, but from what he could tell she seemed alright. His nose told him Souji was napping in the living room and he was glad for that. From what Kagome had told him, the pup didn’t need to see his father here and have a repeat of what happened last night. Poor kid already went through hell.

“I’m fine,” she assured him and stepped around her ex to take the bag and drinks from him. “I was in the middle of making breakfast, but now I suppose I don’t have to. Smells absolutely divine.”

The most delicious smell of muffins and honeybuns were coming from the paper bag and her stomach growled in agreement.

“I thought about taking you two out for breakfast,” he admitted a little sheepishly with a shrug. “But then figured you wouldn’t really wanna go anywhere considering what happened.” He paused. “How you feeling, by the way?”

Shuffling over to the bar counter and completely ignoring the increasingly pissed off wolf-demon, Kagome deposited their breakfast onto the surface and went about collecting some plates.

“Sore, obviously,” she told him. “But it’s tolerable. It still hurts to walk on my ankle, and I had to take the bandage off so I could shower, so if you wouldn’t mind wrapping it again—”

“I asked you a question, asshole,” Kouga interrupted their pleasant little conversation, stepping up and inserting himself right in front of the half-breed’s vision so he was forced to look at him. “Who are you and how do you know Kagome?”

Immediately Inuyasha’s expression changed from warm pleasantness to cold and flinty as he finally looked at the fucker in front of him that had so rudely interrupted his conversation with Kagome. The wolf was attempting to pull off a pathetic intimidating act by snarling in his face and baring his fangs while glaring balefully at him, a steady growl leaking past his clenched teeth.

Inuyasha stared at him for a beat before saying curtly, “I don’t think that’s any of your business, wolfshit. Matter of fact, you don’t have any business being here so why don’t you do us a favor and get lost because Kagome clearly doesn’t want you here, and you know what, neither do I. Your stench is already giving me a headache. There’s the door. I hope it hits you on your way out.”

With that, the half-demon roughly shoved his way past the other male and made his way over to Kagome who had silently watched the exchanged with a worried frown.

Kouga was having none of that, though, and spun around with a snarl to reach out and dig his claws into the mongrel’s shoulder.

“Listen asshole, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are—”

Inuyasha reacted so fast his movements were a blur. He spun around and in the same movement threw his arm above Kouga’s head before jerking it down hard against his back to dislodge the wolf’s grip on his shoulder. Kouga grunted but could do nothing as the next second the half-demon forced his body to turn and then with a swift kick, swept his feet out from under him. He landed on the floor with a grunt and a scowling half-demon glaring down at him.

“I know where very major artery is on your pathetic, weak little body, wolfshit,” Inuyasha growled and narrowed his eyes in lethal warning. “Touch me or her again and my claws just might slip. Comprende?”

While Kouga grumbled and glowered up at him as he pushed himself to his feet, behind him Kagome was feeling quite flushed at having witnessed the hanyou display a very effective self-defense skill and she had to resist the urge to fan herself.

Good lord, but why had that been so hot? Not to mention that threat if he touched her again.

God, Kagome mused, pressing a hand over her wildly beating heart. Take me now.

Scoffing in the face of the half-breed’s anger and threat, Kouga rolled his shoulders and leveled another scowl at him. If he thought he was just going to—

“Shit.”

Inuyasha’s ear flicked behind him at the muttered curse and a familiar scent told him the reason of Kagome’s sudden apprehension. Instantly schooling his expression, he shifted amber eyes toward the living room and found sleepy blue eyes blinking at the three adults. His black hair was a mess and he’d managed to kick off his pants sometime during his nap.

“Hey, bud,” Inuyasha greeted the toddler with a grin, not even sparing the sperm donor another glance. “Remember me?” He wiggled his clawed fingers and raised his eyebrows.

Souji, sleepy mind still trying to register what he was seeing, blinked and settled his gaze on the older male. He sniffed a few times, tilted his head, and wrinkled his nose.

“Magic man,” he said and gave a toothy grin.

Inuyasha’s face softened. “That’s right,” he affirmed. “The magic man. You hungry? I got some tasty muffins and honeybuns that I’m sure you’d like.”

“He shouldn’t be,” Kagome opined, hobbling over to stand beside him and beckoning her son over with a smile and a wave. “He had two bowls of Cocoa Puffs before his nap.”

“Lucky,” Inuyasha commented with another grin. “My mom only lets me have one bowl.”

Kagome snorted a laugh and covered her mouth, but Souji was too busy staring at Kouga to react. His ears were pinned, his little face was scrunched up and Inuyasha couldn’t tell if it was because he was scared or agitated at his father’s unwanted presence.

Shit. Acting fast, and without thinking twice, Inuyasha crossed the distance between them and abruptly scooped the kid up into his arms. Surprisingly, and thankfully, Souji let the older half-demon carry him and fisted a tiny hand in his shirt as Inuyasha crossed back over to Kagome, who was smiling and had suspiciously bright eyes.

“Chock?” Souji asked and it took him a minute to figure out what he was requesting.

“I’m pretty sure I got chocolate muffin for you, champ,” he said and watched the kid’s face light up in delight. It was true; he did have a chocolate muffin that he’d gotten for himself, but he’d give it to Souji in a heartbeat if that’s what he wanted.

Tired of being ignored, Kouga growled and stalked forward again, refusing to let this mutt get the upper hand here. If anyone should leave, it should be the half-breed, dammit!

“Goddammit, I’m not done—”

“Hey Souji,” Inuyasha interrupted the wolf’s tirade loudly and big blue eyes stared up at him questioningly. “Wanna see a magic trick?”

The tot’s eyes widened and he nodded, remembering the magic he’d showed last night with the red light and his fingers. There was more?!

Wordlessly Inuyasha handed the kid over to his mother and at Kagome’s puzzled frown, he merely grinned and winked before spinning around to face the red-faced wolf-demon. Grabbing a pencil that he assumed Kagome used when making grocery lists, he promptly stabbed the pointed end into the counter with enough force to make it stand upright and he mentally apologized to Kagome for ruining the surface. Kouga paid it no mind and stormed forward, growling low while Inuyasha casually rounded the counter to meet him head on.

“I’m gonna make this pencil disappear,” he announced jovially just as Kouga reached him and with both Kagome and Souji’s wide-eyed gaze on him, Inuyasha promptly grabbed Kouga by the back of the head and slammed his face down hard onto the counter.

Kouga dropped to the floor with a groan as Inuyasha threw his hands up, gesturing to the counter now sans pencil.

“Ta da! It’s gone,” he announced and while Souji squealed in absolute delight and clapped his hands, Kagome gaped at him in disbelief. Where…where did—

Inuyasha reached into his pocket and procured the aforementioned pencil before carelessly tossing it onto the counter. Crossing his arms, he stared dispassionately at the writhing wolf-demon on the floor, clutching his nose with both hands and the scent of blood was prevalent as he groaned in pain.

“I won’t ask again,” Inuyasha growled, golden eyes hard and flashing with thinly veiled warning. “Now make like the fucking pencil and disappear before you really piss me off, wolfshit.”

Managing to heave himself to his feet, but still clutching his nose that hadn’t stopped bleeding, Kouga glared murderously at the half-breed mutt and then shifted his gaze to Kagome. He was expecting sympathy, maybe even a little anger on his behalf – the fucker broke his nose, dammit! – but instead what he got was complete and utter ignorance from his former flame. She dedicated her attention to the boy in her arms, setting him on the counter and reaching inside a paper bag to retrieve what looked like a chocolate muffin, not even sparing him a glance.

And just like that the fight left Kouga and he sighed, giving up. Fine, he could take a hint. He pinned the mutt with one last venomous glare before turning tail and finally leaving, closing the door behind him.

Inuyasha grunted. “Good riddance.”

“Rinse,” Souji repeated with a mouthful of chocolate muffin and Inuyasha turned around to face mother and son. The toddler had more muffin on him than in him and the older half-demon chuckled as he stopped forward to ruffle his hair.

“That’s right, runt,” he praised and then locked eyes with his mother, who stood a few feet away, arms crossed and staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Magic trick, hm?” Kagome drawled as he made his way over to her, trying to remain stern but unable to keep the smile off her face as Inuyasha snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

He shrugged, unrepentant. “Souji liked it,” he defended and grinned down at her. “Hi.”

Kagome gave up and laughed, wrapping her own arms around his neck. “Good morn—”

His mouth cut off the rest of the greeting and Kagome melted against him, happily returning his kiss with a little hum of contentment.

“Sorry,” he rasped as he pulled back. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“Hmm,” Kagome murmured and pulled him back down for another one. Kagome felt his husky chuckle and smiled against his lips, tangling her hands in his hair and sighing in bliss as he nibbled the soft flesh of her bottom lip.

Several more kisses were exchanged, some sweet and slow, others deep and hot, until eventually Inuyasha figured it probably wasn’t he best idea to make out in front of her toddler son so he reluctantly pulled back with a sigh and contented himself by holding her in his arms. Kagome seemed perfectly happy to remain there as she watched her son sitting on the counter making a big mess with his muffin. He’d managed to get it on the floor too and she sighed. She wondered if she could persuade Inuyasha to clean it up while she gave the messy toddler a bath…

Her gaze suddenly landed on the pencil and she blinked.

“Hey,” she said and Inuyasha hummed in response. “How did you do that, by the way?”

“Do what?” He rose his eyebrows in question, but the corners of his lips twitched upward, belying his innocence.

She gave him a look and he smirked at her.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he rumbled and leaned forward to kiss the corner of her mouth.

“Oh, so you’re a magician now?” Kagome breathed, shuddering as he trailed kisses along her jaw.

“Obviously.” Inuyasha ran his hands up and down her sides, claws snagging the fabric of her thin t-shirt. “I mean I have magic fingers.”

He gave a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows as he said that Kagome couldn’t stop the snort-laugh from erupting from her throat even as a light blush stole across her cheeks.

“And speaking of,” he continued with a devilish glint in honey eyes. “Wanna see me do another magic trick?”

Kagome eyed him suspiciously. “Okay,” she agreed somewhat warily, curious despite herself.

“Alright,” Inuyasha said and nodded. “Now watch closely.”

Kagome blinked and stared at him. Inuyasha stared back and vaguely she was aware of his hand crawling up her back, the feeling of claws through her shirt sending shivers to crawl along the length of her spine.

“What am I supposed to be watching?” she whispered and Inuyasha merely grinned before leaning in to press a lingering kiss to her lips. She felt a slight pressure against her back, but paid it no mind, his kiss thoroughly distracting her.

Then he pulled away, released her from his arms, and that was when Kagome felt the tell-tale slackening of an unlatched bra and Kagome gasped as she immediately snapped up an arm to keep the garment in place.

The devil had just unhooked her bra! Through her shirt!

“Inuyasha,” Kagome squeaked, her face turning five shades of red as the wicked half-demon cackled and darted away, grabbing a happily squealing Souji and making his getaway.

“You—! How did you—?! Dammit, Inuyasha, get back here!”

With one arm pressed against her chest, Kagome took off after the pair of laughing half-demons, chasing them around her small apartment and it wasn’t long before she was laughing too.

“I told you!” Inuyasha shouted as he hopped the couch, grinning when Souji laughed in utter delight. “It’s magic!”

“Oh yeah, well watch as I magically shove my foot up your ass! Let’s see your magic solve that one, you mangy mutt!”

Inuyasha’s reply to that was to drop Souji safely onto the couch, catch his pursuer around the waist as she lunged at him, and then swoop her into a kiss and when Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck and immediately responded, it was warm, it was wonderful, it was…

Like magic.

#like magic #inukag #inuyasha #kagome #oneshot #keizfanfiction #fanfiction