#and it is hard to motivate to do things when feel like no one will see them

[fumifooms]

Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis

Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but I’m jumping into the fray. I think there’s a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is pretty much essential prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so it’s sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.

Falin cares too little :

A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and I… Don’t agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.

We do see her worrying about what people think of her… ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didn’t matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. That’s why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; it’s always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.

Laios’ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, you’re great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, I’ll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, she’d follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, she’d follow him to the ends of the world, and that’s what she did.

She didn’t care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesn’t even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parent’s directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I don’t think the motivation is people pleasing, rather it’s being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that it’s as simple as that, mind you, but let’s talk about this for now.

Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). They’re the ones she’s devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didn’t care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.

What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think that’s the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we can’t tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that she’s in there, we just don’t know at what degree), that we don’t know her enough to be able to tell when she’s at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.

And this is what’s very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. She’s so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he can’t read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see that… Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesn’t care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who she’s speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they don’t cross her mind then of course she’d be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesn’t make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isn’t exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see she’s ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me there’s this aspect to her that she isn’t as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and there’s something interesting to that.

People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so she’s friendly and hopefully things’ll be smooth sailing. It’s easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you don’t care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesn’t do what she does because she loves them, but because she loves them.

One situation that’s interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what I’m trying to get at, is Shuro’s proposal to her. I’ve seen people saying she hesitated because she didn’t feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I can’t say no, I don’t want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but it’s actually canon in the Adventurer’s Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didn’t feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but it’d have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense she’d want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, there’s even a bit on it on Laios’ Adventurer’s Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, it’s an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brother’s needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldn’t she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?

So her hesitance was "yeah that’s convenient for me, but where it’s everything to him and heartfelt I’m able to be detached because I don’t care about it that much… Can I do that? I’m not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though it’s not what you’d expect, isn’t it?

And central to my analysis, where I’m going with this is, I feel like that’s the thing with her character, that she doesn’t feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didn’t mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didn’t seem to get why it was such a big deal, didn’t seem to care about how they’d experienced her choices.

So it’s a tendency… And it’s not that she doesn’t care, it’s just that the way she measures what’s good for the ones she loves isn’t the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). It’s an overt but quiet kind of care, it’s doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.

So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuro’s proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because she’s thinking about reciprocity, about if it’d be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And that’s a big part of her character isn’t it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.

Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, she’d been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurer’s Bible explanation was released midstory, so I’m hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didn’t react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesn’t remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasn’t finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what I’m saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuro’s proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.

And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? It’s rather layered, because canonically she wasn’t aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and we’re not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isn’t being mistreated (though doesn’t ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough she’s very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when she’s worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chief’s daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.

She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.

And this sort of understanding is part of why I think she’d notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when she’s careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think it’s a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. She’s not sure wether to accept or reject Shuro’s proposal, doesn’t want to lead him on? She’ll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesn’t feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.

We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think that’s here too. She doesn’t get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesn’t change that she doesn’t want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, it’s just that she’s learned growing up that she doesn’t have much agency.

Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. She’ll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, she’ll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when he’s pushing her away (because he doesn’t want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved them— And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didn’t notice the ostracization she suffered.

She’s always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didn’t try hard to rectify the dogs’ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.

So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someone’s presence isn’t something you ask for, it’s something that’s bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you can’t ask them to stay or to come with.

She’s used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so she’s learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didn’t want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.

And still, it’s the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasn’t that I’d feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I don’t regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but I’m sorry that you’re so much more upset about it than me". It’s the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.

It’s the autism it’s the aroace of it all, it’s the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, it’s the feeling like you’re somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. I’m not joking btw it isn’t uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm you’re uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you won’t feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about it…"

So… Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I don’t think she actually cares about people all that much. I’d argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesn’t mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well it’s pretty straightforward really, she’s not all that social and doesn’t see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but it’s not as much like… A conviction or goal. She’s too laser focused on a select few people. "It’s not that they’re bad people, they just aren’t interested in humans."

And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isn’t her whole world or that she isn’t the kindest soul out there then you’re saying she doesn’t care at all or she’s evil. And that’s actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but it’s not in a way that’s quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they don’t have the same logic as her, don’t show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if I’m making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isn’t uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.

And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, there’s absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. There’s enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason I’ve chosen this angle is I feel it’s more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falin’s character arc as I’ll go over throughout the next section…

So.

Not feeling as much as she should. And……. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?

You can’t tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.

Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when she’s dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to just… Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. That’s what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.

There’s excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, and… Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falin’s choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragon’s wasn’t done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. She’s stripped of her agency consistently, and so… It’s very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.

Personally, I think freedom is Falin’s own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.

And if you think I’m going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laios’ wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, it’s something that’s consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.

Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, it’s always been Laios’ curse.

Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, but… On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks it’d be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If there’s someone you don’t like, you can gobble ‘em up in one bite. If you could fly, you’d be able to leave this village right now." It’s a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.

But you’ll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesn’t want to leave knowing they’ll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laios’ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isn’t to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isn’t to stay and see how well his friends will live, it’s to go. It’s to leave. It’s to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. It’s again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didn’t, or not caring and wishing you did.

In the end, it’s Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. It’s a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying they’ll get themselves killed, that time is passing while they’re away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what it’s like to have what she’s never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.

No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if you’re a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when you’re a beast and you can just… Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because you’re at the bottom of the hierarchy, you’re now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.

I think she’s on autopilot. I think she’s on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and it’s partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) It’s familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And that’s what is weaponized when she’s a chimera, that instinct she’s been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesn’t matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesn’t mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because she’s trained it to take as little place as it could.

Falin cares too much

She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.

So you’re probably seeing the duality I’m talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often don’t recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesn’t care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.

In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. She’s undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, it’s text, in the response to Shuro’s proposal extra no less. And she’s so laser focused on her most loved people that she’s fine with being callous and risking others’ lives, even.

Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.

Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.

And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with her… Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her too… In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way that’s not palatable. But she doesn’t care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasn’t for a while now, and that’s great.

Notes & nuance

I’m struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. It’s difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but there’s this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "it’s ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldn’t fit well in other places but are interesting for Falin’s character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, it’s just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I can’t just pull it up whenever it’s relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurer’s Bible profile if you haven’t already.

I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didn’t seem to mind others ostracizing her, it’s easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid she’s bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leader… There’s one istanxe of her caring actually, and it’s about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laios’ said it and as I rambled Laios’ words are her world, but actually it’s ambiguous. It’s only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, there’s no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other hand…

Her Adventurer’s Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falin’s struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesn’t like being called cute over it, but that’s not how she wants people to see her. She doesn’t want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.

Here’s a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts don’t seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe it’s more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didn’t keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ‘troublesome’. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.

And on the topic of appearances… A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurer’s Bible profile) it’s just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."

Imo the thing is, I don’t think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for others’ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but that’s not personality wise it’s needs and wants wise. And I do feel like that’s the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesn’t know what she wants because everything she’s done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesn’t change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will* like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesn’t ask things from people and doesn’t hope for more, hope for better. I don’t think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her it’s less ‘appearing stoic to fit in more’ and more ‘yeah i’ll just chill until I’m needed or something activates my enthusiasm’.

And speaking of passivity… I want to speculate about Shuro’s proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we don’t know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuro’s proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I don’t think it was as simple as ‘she wanted to say yes for convenience’. Logically it’s what would have been best, but it’s not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesn’t think she’ll get proposed to again, it’s that self-effacing tendency that yes it’d be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isn’t in it, because if it’s convenient then that’s more important than her feelings on the matter.

AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much she’s master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but she’s for sure there & influencing the dragon’s action to some degree. Having a dragon’s foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but there’s Falin calling out to her brother Laios, there’s the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly there’s the Adventurer’s Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that it’s her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, it’s interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, she’s described as Thistle’s guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so I’ll reign myself in and just mention it again. She’s still at the heel of someone, only now it’s someone who doesn’t care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that it’s suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think that’s part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isn’t unlike the care she gives the ghosts.

Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.

But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc we’ve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "I’ll lay down my life for you" point? I’m so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isn’t it cool?" gestures of showing things to her… It’s the only way she knows to ask, or maybe it’s the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same time… I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. I’d usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but there’s a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.

Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo important… Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didn’t mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you haven’t seen each other in a while or when they’re alone, and yes there’s potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin won’t be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same way… I hope I’m making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they don’t know if that’s allowed, if they’re going about the social interaction the right way, if they’re allowed to ask that out of someone…

Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didn’t see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falin’s actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldn’t see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course she’d see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).

A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcille’s world, Laios’ is at the center of Falin’s, and I tend to agree.

It’s fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course there’s how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but there’s how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.

I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think there’s an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I don’t really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. ‘If you die do it somewhere where I can’t see’ style’ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I don’t vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isn’t needlessly against ghosts. And Falin’s sudden mace hits are fun to me too because it’s not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whatever’s needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc

I’m working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falin’s dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laios’ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.

Conclusion

Tldr: Falin doesn’t care all that much, she’s very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesn’t really care because that’d require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but it’s more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: she’s canonically very genuinely kind, but it’s more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. She’s passive, and softspoken because that’s just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the ol’ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. She’s shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but there’s also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. There’s a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falin’s case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.

She’s sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and that’s it don’t hope for more don’t ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how she’s not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)

Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.

-

I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it

That’s it, ty for reading. Even if it’s a bit of a mess, hopefully you’ll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.

Here’s my spotify playlist for her if you’d like

Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-love’s important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.

#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we don’t #get that many moments with her. So there’s ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me #As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it #I’m doomed. I’m getting lost in the sauce. #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #analysis #character analysis #meta #autistic reading #aroace reading as well. Sort of. It’s mentioned #The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity you’re expected to #As always this is just my interpretation blablabla #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor #Laios touden #he’s here too bc they are an unit #If you’re not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falin’s character u are missing an opportunity imo #Fairy’s child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised she’s hard to fully pin down #Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laios… Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out #I’d like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. I’m not satisfied by the level of clarity #Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say. #Fumi rambles #Crazy style

[zepskies]

Down to the Crust

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Summary: You’ve set out on a very specific mission for Dean. The problem is, you now have ulterior motives for your (formerly) pure love of baking.

Request: Since reading your imagine, "Dean Gives You an Impossible Choice," I have not been able to shake it, one point specifically. I was wondering if I could request a fic where the reader is learning to bake pies for Dean. She's best friends with the boys, but she and Dean have undisclosed feelings for each other…

AN: You guys know I love baking shenanigans lol. This one is set at a particular time during season 14…

Song Inspo: “Joy” by Blackstreet

Word Count: 2.6K

Tags/Warnings: Flangst, hurt/comfort, hint of spice~

No, no, no, no, NO!

You did your best to scoop out the salt you’d just poured into the flour.

You can’t really be this dumb, you berated yourself. How could you confuse one white powdery thing for another? Salt vs. sugar—it wasn’t that hard!

You shook your head in simmering frustration. You decided to just dump the whole contents of the bowl, salty flour and all, into the garbage. You’d have to start again…for the third time now. 

Frankly, this was getting ridiculous. You could make cookies, brownies, even cupcakes (with homemade buttercream).

How hard could a pie really be?

Maybe it was the telltale tremble of nerves in your hands.

Maybe it was because you had an ulterior motive for doing this, besides your formerly pure love of baking.

Maybe because this promised dessert was for one pie-loving glutton who was set to come upstairs from the garage any minute. Or at least, whenever Dean’s stomach finally called him back to the kitchen.

Though recently, he hadn’t been all that hungry. He’d denied your friendly offer of a snack earlier (since when did he turn down taquitos?), and he’d barely touched the pizza you guys had for dinner yesterday. (One slice? The man could eat half a pizza in one sitting. To your knowledge, there wasn’t a pie he didn’t like.)

Dean hid it well, but he wasn’t on his game. You knew why, of course, but…

You sighed and measured out the last of your flour for a fresh try. If you messed this one up, you’d literally have to wash your hands of this mission. And yes, it had become mission fucking impossible, as far as you were concerned.

Once the flour was safely mixed with a cup of sugar, you cut up some chilled butter to create the pastry dough. You followed the instructions in the recipe even more carefully this time, from your open laptop on the kitchen counter. The keyboard was dusted with flour at this point, along with your hands and arms. You even felt it under your nails and in your hair, but you didn’t care.

You were going to make this damn pie if it killed you.

You’d even bought real cherries, not the canned filling. It meant more work for you in removing all the pits inside them, but this was worth the extra labor.

However, as it just occurred to you, you’d left them simmering with some sugar, lemon juice, and cornstarch in a pan, around the time of your second attempt at pastry dough.

“No!” you gasped, hastening to open the lid and checking the saucepan.

Oh, thank God, you thought, seeing that the cherry filling wasn’t bubbling over. It actually looked like the proper thickened consistency and smelled delicious. You just needed to do some more stirring.

An hour or so later, you had successfully shaped the dough, chilled and poured in the filling, and covered it with the (embarrassingly uneven) lattice work on top.

“Whatever. The man still believes in the Five-Second Rule. He’ll eat this,” you muttered as you slid the pie in. You even remembered to do an egg wash on top. You admired it for a moment in its raw pastry form, then closed the lid to the oven with a nod of satisfaction.

You wore a wide smile, feeling accomplished, until you turned around and saw the disaster you’d made of the kitchen. Flour was dusted across the counters, a pile of dishes in the sink, cherry remnants in the pan and dripping across the stove, and so much more. You winced at the sight.

“What the hell is this?” came a gruff voice.

Your gaze drew to the doorway with a sharp intake of breath. Dean was standing in the doorway to the kitchen with a bewildered expression on his face.

The man had a thing about people in “his kitchen.” You got ready to placate him with your hands raised as you took a step towards him, but then you gasped.

“Shit!” you yelped, slipping in some egg that had dropped on the floor. Your hand accidentally banged the oven on the way down, but your head also hit the corner of the wall.   

You ended up sprawled on your side across the dirty floor, dazed and winded. Dean hurried to your side with one of those frowns that always made you want to smooth the wrinkle between his brows.

He braced your shoulder, almost but not quite touching your hip with his free hand.

“Damn. You okay? This ain’t a slip n’ slide,” he said.

Your lips twitched at a smile, but you sighed. “I’m okay.”

“You hit your head?” he asked, beginning to help you up slowly.

“A little,” you admitted. “Nothing the old bag of frozen carrots in the freezer won’t cure.”

Dean grimaced, but after he made sure you were settled on your feet, he checked the back of your head. You tried not to blush (and revel) at the feeling of his fingers slipping into your hair, even if he was trying to feel for a knot back there.

He was close enough that you could almost feel his body heat through the black shirt he wore, for once without the outer layer of plaid. He smelled like grease and sweat; likely he’d been working on Baby.

Were you weird for kind of liking that smell?

“Well, I don’t feel any goose eggs, so you’re probably fine,” he remarked.

“Thanks, House. Is that your final prognosis?” you asked, beginning to smirk.

Dean’s gaze met yours in amusement.

“Tell you what,” he said, “If you get a headache, I give you full permission to take one of the fun little pills I’ve got in my dresser.”

You laughed. “If it’s not Vicodin, I don’t want it.”

House M.D. was one of those shows you and Dean liked to watch together, along with Game of Thrones, and even Smallville, on occasion.

Dean smiled slightly. But even that was a small feat, and something you hadn’t seen from him in weeks. Not a real smile, anyway. Before today, nothing you’d tried had been working to brighten his mood.

Not pizza Fridays. Not letting him listen to the same damn Zeppelin album without complaint for that eight-hour ride on the last hunt. Not trying to gouge his level of broodiness and offering to hang out, to be a listening ear if he needed it.

He still hadn’t taken you up on the last one. While that hurt, you also understood it. You understood how Dean dealt with things he didn’t want to think about, let alone talk about, even to his own brother.  

Dean now looked down on you knowingly, gesturing at the rest of the kitchen.

“You gonna tell me what you’re doing in here?” he asked.

You crossed your arms and raised your chin, a smile playing on your lips.

“What, can’t handle somebody else in your kitchen? What’re you, Gordon Ramsey?” you teased.

Dean’s brows kicked up, his lips twitching.

“You’ve made a mess of my kitchen any number of times, but I ain’t ever smelled sweet, sweet cherry coming out of that oven,” he said. “You’re finally making me pie?”

You had to laugh. Inside, you were pleased that he now looked excited, his green eyes dancing. You clapped your hands over his arms.

“Yes, I’m making you your damn pie. Only took me fifteen tries, but it’s happening,” you said. You turned to check on it, but the second you opened the oven, black smoke billowed out.

Your eyes widened in horror and your mouth fell open on reflex, but harsh coughs tore from your throat as you waved your hand against the smoke. Dean quickly handed you the oven mitts, and you shoved them on before taking out the steaming dessert.

The entire top crust was scorched black. Cherry filling oozed out, and not in a good way. You slammed the oven shut with your hip, and you had to toss the pan onto the counter for how hot it was.

Inside that pan was a dreadful excuse for a pie.

Dean had an arm crossed under his elbow, while a hand came up to cover his mouth as he took in the state of it. He then looked over at you.

He saw the shock, settling into pursed lips and tight shoulders. You turned in slow movements.

You saw that the oven had been switched to “Broil” on the highest setting. You’d probably messed that up when you fell and hit the dial with your hand. But Christ, was that a powerful oven.

Those old white guys really didn't mess around when they built this damn bunker, you thought sourly.

Dean took another look at the steaming pie and grimaced, despite his amusement.

“Well, she won’t be entering any beauty pageants, that’s for sure,” he teased.

His playful smirk fell, however, the moment you turned around. He saw the way you were biting your lip, and the tears brimming in your eyes.

He softened, and he went to you.

“Aww, sweetheart. It’s okay,” he chuckled, and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “‘S probably better than I could do.”

You rested your head against his chest and sniffled. You blinked to try to stem off your tears. 

“It’s not about the damn pie! I mean, not really. It’s just…” you trailed.

You quieted, realizing you were about to say things you’d rather not.

Dean noticed though. Because of course he did.

“Then what’s it about?” he asked.

You avoided his gaze at first, though he was too perceptive not to notice. He jostled you a little against his side.

“Huh? You wanna answer me?” he asked. His lips curved at the way you were fighting a smile yourself. Your tears won out though.

You turned under his arm and leaned up on your toes, so you could hug him. Your arms twined around his neck and you held him tight.

To say it surprised Dean would be an understatement, his eyes widening a fraction. He still held you back, almost on reflex.

“I couldn’t do anything else,” you said, through tears. “Not for you, or Sam…or for Mary.”

Dean’s confusion descended into grim understanding. A weight fell deep in his gut, clenching painfully the way it always did, when he thought about his mom.

The fact that Jack didn’t have his soul didn’t make a difference, no matter what Sam said. Not in Dean’s mind, anyway.

Jack had killed their mom.

She was gone, had been taken from them. And that second loss had torn a new chasm in Dean’s heart, deeper than the last one. He held you a bit tighter without realizing it.

“I’m sorry,” you said, rubbing his back. “I know you don’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to…to do something for you.”

Slowly, Dean pulled away a little. His hands moved to your waist as he looked down on you with a heaviness in his eyes. For a moment, he just took in the contours of your face, your eyes shining with tears that clung to your lashes. You were looking up at him like all you wanted to do was fix it. And fix him.

Well, you had to know that was a lost fucking cause. But it just didn’t stop you from staying here with him and Sam, living with them, hunting with them, being one of the last friends they had, after all these years.

It didn’t stop Dean from loving you for it, either.

He let out a breath, and he couldn’t help but raise a hand to get some of the flour off your cheek. He smoothed the back of his hand against your skin, along your jaw, and finally brushed his thumb across your lower lip, where you had worried it with your teeth.

“You’re too damn much, you know that?” he murmured.

You were blushing hot at his touch, but you frowned at his words. Until you noticed the fond glint in his eyes…and for the first time, something more. Something he was finally allowing you to see.

When he bent down and claimed your lips, your thoughts stuttered to a halt. You gripped the front of his shirt instinctively. He framed your face with his hands; they were calloused and smelled like motor oil, but you didn’t give a shit. Not one iota. Because it meant something, and your heart swelled with a warmer, brighter feeling.

You gripped his shirt tighter and leaned up to meet his second kiss. His hand moved to your lower back, pulling you flush against him. You grabbed onto his shoulders and let him invade your mouth with his warm tongue slipping against yours. You moaned, the sound echoing between you both and shooting right to his dick.

His brows furrowing, Dean’s fingers slipped into your hair again, but this time, to tangle in the strands. He walked you back until your ass hit the counter, where he grabbed hold of your thighs and hefted you on top of it, regardless of whatever stains covered its surface.

He moved in between your jean-clad thighs and encouraged you wordlessly to wrap them around his hips. You didn’t need much encouragement.

“Dean,” you whispered, between heated kisses, hands wandering down your body, exploring soft curves and warmth over clothing.

“Hmm?” he said, into your mouth. It was distracting, but you found the strength to slow things down, gently taking his face into your hands.

You both caught your breath for a moment. It allowed Dean to see the thread of uncertainty in your gaze, even though you caressed his stubble-covered cheeks.

“I just…do you…is this…” you tried, but your brain seemed to be on a short fuse. You blamed his sinful lips entirely.

Said lips drew into a smirk. Dean’s hands moved up your thighs and held your waist less gripping, more comforting (and claiming).

“I really do, and damn straight it is,” he said, slightly teasing. He did lean back in to press a gentler kiss to your lips.

“Trust me,” he said, as he became more serious. “If you want more from this…”

At that, your uncertainty melted into warmth. You released his face, holding onto his shoulders instead.

“Yeah, Dean,” you nodded. “More than anything, yes.”

He read your sincerity, and it warmed him too. Again, he gave into the urge to brush his thumb against your blushing cheek.

“I uh…I had a feeling it was always gonna be you,” he said.

You raised a brow at that, even though your smile threatened to unravel him further.

“Oh, yeah? How long?” you asked.

Dean pretended to think.

“Since that first batch of oatmeal cream pies,” he said, with a cheeky grin. “Pretty sure I was marked from there on out.”

And not just because he’d been imagining what you’d be like to taste, ever since.

You giggled, though you gestured with your eyes at the charred pan next to you on the counter.

“Guess I should try again on that pie. Wonder what that’ll get me,” you hedged, letting your thumb graze his neck. Dean smirked.

“All right, sure. Remind me to pick up a new fire extinguisher,” he said.

You guffawed and hit his shoulder, but he just laughed and pulled you in for another kiss.

It was sweet enough on its own.

AN: I know, I know. I'm a sap. 😂 Let me know what you thought of this pie-filled episode! 🥧 💕

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Dean Winchester One-Shots

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Dean W. Tag List:

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms

@foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373

@this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma

@iprobablyshipit91 @melancholictearz @nic-kolas @sanscas @sleepyqueerenergy

@wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons

@anticxrrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk

@midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19 @agalliasi @venicesem

@chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @deansbbyx

@candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @deanfreakingwinchester

@chernayawidow @mimaria420 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords @waynes-multiverse

#Down to the Crust #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x female reader #supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester fanfiction #jensen ackles #jensen ackles characters #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfic #mary winchester #spn season 14 #zepskies writes

[youandiwerealive]

Slip under my armour [rd]

Author’s note: this is big, messy, fluffy and smutty and I don’t know if love it or if I hate it, but lawyer!Rúben is here 🫡 thank you to the anons who came by my inbox to discuss this scenario with me! Also this is not proofread because this is huge, it’s late here already and I work early tomorrow 😭 I hope you enjoy this, MWAH

Warnings: unprotected sex, some masturbation, MINORS GET OUT! Let me know if I’m missing something!

wc: 8176 - English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated

You’re a hard worker. You have well defined goals. You’ve been working hard to accomplish your dreams since you were young. You were the best student in your class, you would ace every test. You would study hard everyday, stop going out until late at night with your friends so you didn’t had to skip your classes. You had a bigger purpose, and you knew that, you could feel that inside of you. You have a fire burning inside of you, pushing you, motivating you to be better, to do better. That’s how you end up here: one of the best lawyers of your generation, living your dream in one of the best law firms in the country.

You win every case they assign you, you work hard towards it. You never stop pushing yourself to your maximum, always wanting to exceed everyone’s expectations on your job.

With that being said, your love life hasn’t been as bright as your career. Love hasn’t worked out for you most of the times, so you just decided to focus on what brings you true joy: your work.

There’s this other lawyer who works in the same company as you. His name is Rúben, he already worked there before you were hired. His office is in front of yours, just a few steps in the corridor and you’re at his door. But you two never really talked much - besides work related things, of course.

You are focused and determined, you definitely don’t think about dating - let alone in your workplace.

Rúben is tall and broad. He always looks perfect in a way that nothing is never out of place in him. He always has a serious face on, a game face, ready to win all cases in court. And he does. He’s very professional and doesn’t let even the smallest of details go unnoticed.

Sometimes, you are in your office and you see Rúben’s shadow walking near your smoky glass door. It’s like he’s thinking about knocking on your door, but then he regrets it and walks away.

Rúben doesn’t talk much to you because he’s scared. He’s afraid that the high mountains that you think of him, will fall to your feet once you two get to talk about anything besides work-related stuff. He thinks about it a lot, though. He feels nervous around you, the way you always look so stern and serious, hard to break - it really intimidates him. He anxiously waits for the day when you would just wake up from all the numbers, square roots of your subtracted sums, always so pragmatic and strict. He wishes you could lighten up a bit, forget work and all your manners, laugh more, open up. He would like to help you forget about all the logical thinking that always surrounds your head, to untie your precious hair, always perfectly styled.

He thinks you’re gorgeous. He’s so intrigued by you. He swears he has never seen such bright eyes as yours, so delicate and yet, so deadly when you’re in ‘game mode’. He can’t stop noticing all your details, even the smallest things - he wishes he could have a chance to get closer to you.

And the chance arrives, when your boss chooses you and Rúben to work together on a new case: a big scandal has erupted when one of the biggest football clubs in the world has been accused of money laundering schemes.

“I need my two best lawyers to work on this case together. The president of the club is a big client of ours and we can’t lose this one” - your boss told you two while handing you the papers with all the info’s.

You and Rúben share a look, a serious one, intrigued by the new job - and even more about having to work together for the first time. If you were thinking about ways of winning the case already, Rúben was cheering on the inside, realising he would be spending more time with you.

“This is going to be a hard one, huh?” - Rúben tried to start a conversation with you.

“Yeah” - you simply replied, your eyebrows knit while you kept reading and analysing the documents in front of you.

You didn’t felt like talking. You just wanted to do your job - one you are pretty sure that you can do by yourself, instead of needing Rúben distracting you from winning the case.

“I’m going to talk to the president of the club. I need to understand what happened” - Rúben said in a cold tone, realising you’re not in the mood for a talk.

You got up from your seat, getting his attention.

“We are going. We have to work together, remember? We are like a time now or whatever” - you said, walking past him and leading the way. “And I drive!” - he laughed quietly at your attitude.

Your days have been filled with meetings - with the club staff, with your boss. With another coworkers who wanted to give their opinion on the case. You and Rúben have been working late together, trying to figure out a way of wining such a complicated case.

Your office became the space where you two would spend more time. That’s why Rúben would disappear for a while and then he would come back with some takeaway so you could have something to eat, he would cover your body with his jacket when you would fall asleep with all the papers surrounding you. He would look at you, looking so peaceful while sleeping. He would carefully remove the hair out of your face when your nose would start to gently move from the thin strands of hair tickling it. He would memorise all your details, from the most obvious to the smaller ones - the ones that usually no one would notice. The freckles on your cheeks, always making you look so innocent and cute. The way your eyes tell everything, even if you don’t want them to. No matter how serious your face was, your eyes would still shine like a kid who had just seen a box full of candy. And he loved that about you.

His memory would safely keep all your precious details in a box, in the corner of his brain. And he would remember them all again when his fingers would mix different colours of paint, focused on drawing your features in the best way he possibly can.

Rúben loves painting, it’s the thing he enjoys doing the most on his free time. When he’s painting, he focuses on the canvas in front of him, and forgets about all the work-related stress that he has to endure during the day. It helps him destress and unwind, and his mind immediately searches for his muse in his thoughts: you.

He remembers it all, and he tries his best to capture the shine in your eyes, the glow of your skin, the outline of your lips. Painting you is the only way he can touch you in some way, be closer to you, day dreaming about you the entire time.

Every day, you and Rúben would meet at one of your offices, drown yourselves in papers, brainstorming and writing down your best ideas that could help you winning that case in court.

And every day, you two would have more to talk about, even outside of work. Every time you two had to drive somewhere to get more information or have a meeting about the case, you would always blast your favourite music, and Rúben would mentally memorize your music taste, as he would show you some of his favourite songs after as well. You would always blast early 2000’s songs, the true classics like Amy Winehouse if you were feeling melancholic or Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” if you wanted to be dramatic and funny.

You two could easily forget that it was a work-related car ride, because it would always turn into a karaoke session. You would sing loud and put on a show for your coworker - even thought your singing was terrible.

Nevertheless, Rúben would always let you choose the playlist, and he would gladly hear you singing and laughing, enjoying watching you so free and careless. He too would loose himself a little bit, singing with you to some of the songs, but you would always end up mad at him for ruining your favourite songs - he didn’t even knew the lyrics right!

After eating so many takeouts at your office, Rúben started to get your favourite dishes right - without you having to ask. It would always be a nice surprise to you, you never thought someone could pay so much attention to such small details as your order at your favourite takeout.

“I’m tired of eating takeout” - Rúben says to you as he empties his plastic dish.

“Unfortunately we don’t leave work any soon so we can have an actual good meal” - you sigh and you move the papers around you, the fork dancing around your plate, not even feeling hungry because you’re so overwhelmed with work. Reading contracts over and over again, finding strategies to every possible accusation that your client could get in trial.

“You’re right. But we could take some of this work home” - Rúben said, testing the waters to see your reaction.

“What do you mean?” - you quirk an eyebrow at him.

“I would be glad to have a home cooked meal for once. You can join me, if you want to. I must tell you that I’m a very good cook” - he said with a smirk on his lips.

You pause what you’re doing, thinking about his offer. You said you didn’t wanted to get closer to one of your colleagues, but a dinner couldn’t hurt, right?

You breathe your anxiety out of your body.

“I’ll take your offer, Dias. You better really be a good cook” - you laugh at him while gathering your belongings, before saying goodnight and leaving the office.

You couldn’t help but giggle while you’re on your way home. It feels nice to have dinner out for once, instead of drowning in work all the time, you know you need this, it will be good for you.

After another tiring day at work, Rúben drives as you two go to his place.

You can’t help but feel a little anxious at the decision you made when you accepted his invitation. You’re not used to doing this, going to some man’s house to have dinner out of nowhere. But, Rúben is not just “any man”. He is your coworker, yes, but he’s also someone who you’ve been spending a crazy amount of time with for the past few weeks. He makes you laugh, has interesting conversations with you. He sings along with you to your favourite songs and you feel like you can be yourself around him.

He doesn’t sexualise you like a lot of dudes usually do, because of your job and your looks. You feel seen - actually seen when he looks at you. He always gives you a tender look, it could even melt you from how sweet he acted towards you. You already lost track of all the times you woke up wrapped in his jacket, carefully placed on top of you so you wouldn’t get cold. He listens to you and remembers everything you say. You never felt this kind of commitment from anyone else before.

You arrive at his place, the house is very neat and tidy as it looks almost immaculate. It’s well decorated, in black and white tones, matching Rúben’s vibe perfectly.

“Make yourself at home” - he says to you with a smile. - “I’ll start dinner”.

You walk to his living room, where he instructed you to go and “make yourself comfortable”. As you take in his place, you can’t help but notice the little details of his house. The way he has a lot of paintings hanging on the walls, beautiful ones really. Your eyes spot a bunch of canvas against the wall, near the balcony. They don’t look like paintings that he bought somewhere. They look like they are drying, some of them are still unfinished… could Rúben be the one painting them?

They look very good, beautifully draw and painted, but you can’t stop noticing that all of them have some type of detail that you associate with… yourself? The way all of the paintings have a girl in them, and she has some similarities to you. There’s a painting of the girl where it seems like he really captured all the details of the way you style your hair. Another one where the necklace she’s wearing really stands out, and surprisingly, it looks very much like your favourite necklace, the one you wear every single day to adorn your neck.

And there’s more: there’s paintings of the model using the same dress as you once wore to a work dinner, there’s a portrait of a girl that has a lot of your features, your dimples, the way your eyes curve when you smile. You can’t stop looking at those paintings, blown away by Rúben’s hidden talent and confused at why he would paint things that reminisce you so much.

“Hope you’re hungry” - Rúben walks to the dining table with a platter of food. You sit on the chair, confessing that the plate in front of you actually looks delicious.

As you two sit down in front of each other, you can’t stop making eye contact, trying to suppress a bigger smile on your lips. You take a bite of his cooking, and hum at the taste.

“Oh, this is really good” - you say with your mouth full, making Rúben smile.

“I’m glad you enjoy it” - he says while taking a sip of his wine.

“I didn’t think you were such a good cook” - you confess.

“Yeah well, there’s a lot of things about me that you don’t know yet” - he says quietly.

“I can see that. You never spoke about your love for painting, either” - you try and touch the subject, waiting to see his response.

Rúben goes silent, and his eyes immediately direct themselves to the paintings leaning on the opposite side of room. Of course you would see those.

“Yeah. That’s just something I like doing outside of work. Helps me calm down and clear my mind for a bit” - he simply replies.

“I see you like to enfatize details. They are very noticeable in those paintings” - you point out.

“I am a very attentive person. I pay attention to small details and they get stuck in my mind. I guess I just paint what inspires me the most and what I find most beautiful” - he clears his throat after speaking, not even able to look at you right now, feeling embarrassed by the fact you noticed what’s he’s been painting.

You smile quietly and continue eating. The two of you spend the entire dinner getting to know each other better. You laughed, share some secrets. You decided to open up a bit, telling Rúben a bit more about yourself and your personal life. You often don’t do this, you don’t really enjoy talking about your personal life to anyone, you never felt like cracking up. But you feel different around Rúben, and the atmosphere spiralling between you two during this night, is something that makes you feel comfortable enough to share more of you with him. And it feels nice to talk it out, it’s like there’s a different light invading you through the little cracks that Rúben did on you. You feel safe.

“Ready to go to court tomorrow?” - he asks when you two sit on the couch with your wine glasses still in hand.

“I am. Are you?” - you ask back.

“I am. I have a good feeling about the trial, we worked hard to win this one”- he gives you a reassuring smile.

“We did” - you smile back, remembering all the late nights you’ve spent working together. You think about all the brainstorming you two did, but also all the laughs and jokes you both shared, all the takeouts and naps you had on your desks. And you can’t help but feel a hole in your chest as you think about the future, as well. You got used to work with Rúben, you two got closer. What would happen after you finish this case? You wouldn’t be spending the entire time together anymore, you would go back to work on different cases, taking all your time away from each other again.

“What’s on your mind?” - Rúben pulls you out of your trance. He really pays attention to the little details, it’s like he can read you and your mood swings.

“Uh, nothing really. I was just, you know, thinking” - you blurted out, not having the courage to admit that you’re going to miss him.

“Thinking…?” - he tries to get you to continue your reasoning.

You take a deep breath and drink the rest of your wine in one big sip - needing all the courage you could get.

“Yeah, you know. We’ve been spending all our days together for the past weeks and I think I’m kind of used to this now. And this sounds dumb, but I was just thinking how we won’t be as together as we are now anymore, and I just want to say that I had a great time with you. You really made me see things in a different way, made me soften a bit and made me feel lighter, so thank you” - you say shyly, your voice barely above a whisper as you and Rúben are now dangerously close to each other on the sofa, your faces mere inches from touching.

His hand lands on your cheek sweetly, caressing you while his eyes shine bright as they look at you. He leans in slowly, taking in your features and making eye contact with you as he holds your face carefully with both his hands now, before connecting your lips together, giving you a sweet and tender kiss, that could make up for all the love words in the world. You kiss him back, anxiously at first but then you shut all the voices in your head and deepen the kiss a little bit.

Rúben pulls back, his hands still caressing your face gently.

“This doesn’t have to end if you don’t want to” - he says reassuringly. “I would always make time for you. Always” - he smiles before giving you another sweet peck on the lips.

You blush hard, not able to contain the giggle that just left you, making Rúben laugh slightly as well.

“I should get going” - you say with a sad tone. You don’t want to go, but you can’t lose focus - finishing this case is your priority now.

“Yeah, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow” - Rúben says as he kisses your cheek softly.

You say goodbye and head home, with a stupid smile plastered on your face, like a teenager. Sharing a loving kiss with your coworker wasn’t definitely on your plans for tonight, but it doesn’t feel wrong in your chest. Maybe you should give him a chance, maybe you should allow him to know you a bit more. You go to bed on cloud nine, still thinking about how his lips felt like cotton candy against yours, how you felt like power was racing through your veins when your lips were connected to his.

Rúben sighs, content of the time he shared with you tonight. You two finally managed to have dinner outside of your offices, got to know each other better, shared histories and secrets to one another. You laughed and chilled, and Rúben never felt you feeling so light - he loves that feeling. The feeling of you opening up to him, letting him slip under your armour to discover more about you.

Both of you wake up fully on game mode. It’s court day, you are finally going to defend your client against all the money laundering accusations. You and Rúben are set and ready to win this case. You meet outside the court house, and wish good luck to each other, with a stern appearance but a warm smile saved for the other.

During the entire trial, the accusation attorneys tried everything to tear you and Rúben’s defence down. Thankfully, you two had everything planned and were ready to finish every type of accusations that could prevail. When it was Rúben’s turn to speak, you couldn’t help but notice the way he looked so good while defending your case so sternly and self-assured.

In the end, the judge announces his decision: your client was considered innocent and all charges were dropped. You and Rúben let out a breath and hug each other tightly, after hearing the words. You could finally breathe and relax for a bit, both of you did your job right and you won another important case.

When the trial ended, you gather your things and got ready to leave. You left past the door, but before you could reach your car, you hear Rúben’s voice, calling you.

“Y/N!” - he runs to you. You turn around and smile at the sight of him.

“Hi” - you say, feeling a bit shy next to him now, remembering the kiss from last night.

“Hey” - he gives you a big smile, one that could make your stomach swirl from all the butterflies. “So, I was thinking. We won the case and is only fair for us to celebrate, don’t you agree?”

“What do you have in mind?” - you question back.

“I was thinking that maybe we could go out for dinner? I mean, a proper dinner, with everything that we deserve. Only if you want to, of course. I don’t know if you’re busy or if you have the time for it tonight or-“ - you interrupt his rambling.

“I would always make time for you” - you say to him with a wink, and he blushes slightly at the reference. “Pick me up at eight” - you give him a kiss on the cheek before entering your car and driving home. Rúben stands still, amazed by your answer and still feeling your lips on his skin.

You got home and immediately think about what you’re going to wear for dinner tonight, feeling nervous to go out for what it feels like a real date with Rúben. He is swearing as well at the thought of taking you out, the pressure building up in his brain to make a good impression - as if you don’t him already, as if you two haven’t kissed already.

It’s eight o’clock, and Rúben takes a deep breath before ringing the bell at your door.

You open up, and his jaw drops at the sight in front of him. You always look beautiful to him, but tonight something about you makes you look absolutely breathtaking. You decided to dress in a different way than you would usually do at work. The knee-high dark green dress you chose from your closet hugs perfectly all your curves, and you matched it with your favourite golden jewellery. You smile at Rúben’s reaction.

“You look stunning” - Rúben breathes out.

“Thank you, Rúben. You look handsome as well” - of course. How could he not look gorgeous with a white button up shirt that’s not that buttoned up? You try to focus on his eyes, the big brown and shiny eyes that could immediately send sparkles through your entire body.

You two keep an intense eye contact for a minute, like you could just melt into each other’s lips right then and there. But Rúben desperately wants to take you out to a special night, and treat you like you deserve. So he takes a deep breath and offers you his hand. “Ready to go?” - he smiles softly while you take his hand and walk to his car.

Rúben parks his car beside a beautiful restaurant next to the beach. He opens the door and helps you out of the car, like a true gentleman, which makes you giggle.

“Table for two under Dias, please” - he says to the receptionist, who takes you two to your table. You are sitting right next to a big window, which allows you two to have dinner while having the sunset as background.

“This is beautiful” - you say, unable to take your eyes off the view in front of you: Rúben, looking gorgeous as ever with an astonishing sunset behind him.

“You are beautiful” - he admits, leaving you speechless for being so straightforward with his words.

“So…” - you clear your throat and try to ignore the fire in your blushes. “I need to know why you wanted to take me out so much” - you ask him.

He raises one eyebrow at you, with a puzzled expression on his face.

“Oh, come on. The takeouts on my office, then dinner at your house, now this. I know you were testing the waters” - you laugh before sipping on your wine.

“Fine. You’re right. But the reason why is actually easy to explain. I couldn’t stop thinking about you since we met” - he said without a problem.

“Really? I could say the same about you” - you decide to open the game.

He looks at you intrigued and laughs.

“What’s the thing that you couldn’t stop thinking about then? Or the things that caught your attention?” - he asks.

You fight yourself internally about how you should be honest or sarcastic and avoid his question. But if he’s been honest this entire time like he says he’s being, maybe you have nothing to lose in continuing to play this game.

“Well, at first, it was your smile that caught my attention, when I first saw you. But then, you took your sunglasses off, and you looked at me with those big brown eyes and I was just stuck. And to this day, I can’t forget them. I always get a bit nervous when I’m around you, to be honest. Whenever you look at me and smile, and I see those eyes, I lose it. I could get lost in them, and not wanting to get back to reality. I love how you look so stern and hard to crack and then you’re a goofy boy with a big heart. I guess those are the main things” - you reply, feeling lighter after taking those feelings out of your chest.

“You really feel that way?” - quietly asked. You just nod your head.

“What about you?” - you question back.

“When we met, I remember thinking ‘wow’ when I first saw you. You looked so beautiful, I still remember everything from that day. What you were wearing, your hair, your face. Your smile makes me smile too, and I love flirting with you and seeing you blush. You are adorable, absolutely gorgeous. I love your smile, your laugh, and I’m always anxious to see you again, waiting for you to arrive at your office or something, so I can just look at you and think that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. And I love that you are so authentic, your eyes tell everything. You make me weak” - he says, without never breaking eye contact with you.

“Oh wow… I wasn’t expecting that” - you try to laugh your blush off.

“I’m being completely honest with you” - he smiles as he grabs your hand that’s resting on the table, gently touching your fingers.

You smile back at him, feeling more and more that this date is right, that you belong in this time and space right now.

“You know, it’s really good to be here with you” - you admit.

“See? You shouldn’t have played hard to get for so long” - he laughs. “I feel like this since we have met. That’s why I was always hinting it. I’ve been feeling this is the right thing to do for so long now” - he takes your hand and kisses it.

Meanwhile, the waiter places your plates in front of you, and you distance your hands.

“I wasn’t really playing “hard to get”… I was just… scared and insecure, I guess. Never thought you could really feel that way about me. So I just tried to ignore it, and ignore how I was feeling as well. Obviously I failed that part” - you say and he smiles.

The rest of your dinner was spent talking more and more about yourselves. It was filled with smiles and laughs, really enjoying your time together.

When you two got out of the restaurant, you took a walk on the beach with Rúben. He got closer to you and you feel brave enough to intertwine your finger with his. He gently takes your hand in his and squeezes it lightly while he looks at you with a loving look on his face.

“Who would’ve thought that such a stern big guy like you could be so romantic” - you joke and he laughs.

“I can do unimaginable things to the girl of my dreams” - he admits as he pulls your face closer so he can kiss you. Your lips touch again and it feels familiar, the sparks from last night reigniting.

He pulls your body closer so he can put his arm around you and hug you from the side as you two walk back to the car.

You reach his car and the tension between you two is palpable and unbearable right now. You grab Rúben’s hand so you can pull him closer and you start kissing him more, needy to feel his lips on yours again.

He takes control and leans you against his car, deepening the kiss as his tongue explores your mouth. You moan at the sensation, and Rúben stops. He opens the door to his side, pulling you inside as you sit on his lap, straddling him already.

“Didn’t knew this fiery side of you” - he breathes as his hands run through your entire body.

“Must have been all the wine” - you laugh - “Or the fact that I just can’t resist you” - you sink your hips on his bulge, already growing from the excitement rushing through both of your bodies.

Rúben groans from the sensation, feeling like he’s dreaming by having you on top of him, looking like heaven.

Your hips continue dancing on top of your date, as his mouth explores your neck, leaving open mouthed kisses on your sweet spot. You moan, desperate to feel more of him - his big hands roaming your body not being enough.

Rúben pushes you back slightly, in an attempt to unbuckle his pants. But, when your ass touches the steering wheel, it hits the car horn, making you two stop immediately and giggle like two horny teenagers.

“Let’s go home” - Rúben tells you with a laugh as he plants a kiss on your forehead. You go back to your seat and take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself from what just happened.

After calming down for a bit, you lean on your seat, looking at Rúben while he drives. You’re pretty sure that heats are flying out of your eyes right now, like a cartoon.

"You're staring, you know?" - he smirks.

"How can I not? You're gorgeous. And I never thought I would feel like this tonight, honestly" - you squeeze his hand.

"You deserve to feel this way all the time. I'll try my hardest to always make you feel like this" - he looks at you for a second and kisses your hand in a promise of love.

You get to his house, and both of your hands are on each other’s body again, hungry for each other. Rúben picks you up, carrying you to his bedroom, his lips never leaving yours, kissing you passionately and gently at the same time.

He carefully lays you on his bed, hovering you as he kisses you once again. Your lips taste like sugar to him, addicted to the feeling your presence gives to his heart.

“I wanna make you feel good” - he whispers to you as you make out slowly and passionately.

“Then do it, please. I need you so badly” - you breathe out, wrapping your hand on his hair gently.

“I wanna make you feel good all the time” - he confesses, all the time spending with you meaning way more than just sex to him.

You look into his eyes and seal your passion with a kiss, not letting him get any further from you.

You unbuttoned his shirt, removing it from his body and letting his flexed muscles show. He quietly laughs at your reaction when he sees your eyes widen at the sight.

Rúben slowly removes your dress, kissing your entire body from your knees to your neck. He doesn’t want to rush it with you, he wants to take his time. He wants to make you feel valued, appreciated. He wants to touch you right.

He leaves some love bites on your neck and collarbone, his hands gently groping your ass and travelling through your hips, leaving your mind a puddle of hesitation and excitement.

Rúben’s fingers travel to your pussy, gently caressing it through the fabric of your panties. His index and middle finger draw circles on your clit, alternating his movements by exploring through your folds, applying some pressure on your sweet spots, making your breathing hitch on your throat when his fingers play with your clit.

“I can feel you wet already” - he whispers in your ear as he leaves a kiss on the side of your head at the same time.

You take off your bra, growing a bit impatient now. Rúben looks at you surprised by your action. His hands travel to the band of your lace knickers, and he takes them down in one swift motion. He gets up as he admires your entire body and he starts undoing his pants at the same time.

When his boxers drop to the floor, your mouth waters at the sight of his dick, already hard by all the making out. His hand grabs his cock instinctively, and he strokes himself slightly before meeting you again on the bed. Your arms wrap around his neck gently, pushing him closer to you, wanting nothing more than to feel your bodies glued to each other, warming you up with just his touch.

“You’re so fucking beautiful” - Rúben says as he grabs his dick and swipes his tip through your wet folds. He groans at the feeling, and you pull his head closer to start another make out session. Your tongues fight for dominance as Rúben slowly enters your core, going gentle and carefully with you. You whine at the feeling of being filled with his thick cock for the first time, not believing this is actually true.

Rúben could lose his mind at the way your cunt feels so soft around him, feeling you so wet and warm wrapped around his dick. He picks up his pace, going a bit faster to make you moan out in pleasure as he wraps his mouth around one of your nipples, swirling his tongue around it before sucking on it gently.

“You feel so good around me baby, fuck” - Rúben breathes out as he glues his forehead to yours now, making an intense eye contact with you as he grabs both of your hands and intertwines your fingers together. Your bodies are one now, there’s no space between you two as your legs are tightly wrapped around his hips and Rúben’s cock keeps exploring your insides.

You moan when he goes faster, and he attaches his mouth to yours once again, kissing you passionately, for the millionth time tonight, really making love to the girl who has his entire heart.

“I need you so badly” - you moan into his mouth as he feels the need to go even faster. He was trying his best to delay his orgasm, but your body and soul drive him insane. His right hand travels between your bodies and lands on your clit, circling it painfully slowly. You use your now free hand to pull his hair slightly and scratch his back at the way his dick is making your pussy throbbing from all the pleasure he’s giving you.

His thumb keeps playing with your pearl, drawing circles faster now, feeling you getting closer to your climax by the way your cunt hungrily hugs his dick now.

“Please, please, I need to cum baby” - you beg him, moaning and whining when he’s able to fasten up his thrusts inside of you right now. His mouth goes to your neck once more, sucking on it and driving you insane, chasing your orgasm now as you feel the bubble in your stomach to burst. You moan his name as you cum on Rúben’s dick. He helps you ride out your high and a few seconds later, he pulls out of you, cumming on your stomach.

You two breathe deeply, trying to compose yourselves after what happened. He kisses the side of your face before getting up to pick a towel and clean both of you.

After he gently wipes you clean, he lays down next to you, embracing your body and cuddling with you.

You kiss him gently, not wanting this feeling to be over.

“I could get used to this” - you admit, looking at him with anticipation for his answer.

He stays silent for a moment, thinking about what he’s going to say next.

“Do you mean you could get used to the whole thing? Going on dates with me, actually dating me and all? Or do you just mean you could get used to have sex with me?” - he asks in a quiet tone, almost as if he’s afraid of your response.

“The whole thing. I would like to have this, you, for real. If you would like to have me as well” - you admit.

Rúben kisses your forehead. “Do you want me to be honest with you?” - he quietly whispers in your ear. You nod your head yes.

He takes a deep breath before speaking. “I would do anything for you. Have you looked at us? We are made of steel when we are together, wether is at work or in life. We get along great, I love getting to know you better. You make my heart flutter every time you smile, you make me feel intimidated when you look at me with those eyes. You drive me insane when you’re brainstorming your ideas and find great solutions when we’re working on dramatic cases. You’re so smart, it turns me on. How am I lucky enough to be laying next to you, after spending my night with you by my side? Fuck, this isn’t just a crush. I could even tattoo your name on my body but that wouldn’t even be enough to describe the magnitude of my love for you. I have your name running on my veins, I have hopes of a future by your side, and I want that to be true. I want to wake up everyday by your side, make you breakfast, give you a hot coffee when you’re stressing about work. Taking care of you is my favourite duty, giving you my jacket when you’re cold, switching off your computer when you’re working too hard. I never told you this before, but I love you, and nothing can break this feeling that I carry inside of me. The way you absolutely disarm me and I let my guard down near you says it all. I trust you with my life, you’re my girl. And I want you to be mine, forever” - he says while looking you in the eyes, being dead serious about his feelings.

You feel a couple of fears form in your eyes, and you’re left speechless by his love confession. You just have the energy to nod your head yes over and over again.

“I want you forever as well” - you choke out, hugging him tightly has he engulfs your body in a gentle cuddle, protecting his girl - forever.

He can’t stop his big smile from showing at your words. You two kiss a countless amount of times, cuddling next to each other and falling asleep in your now boyfriend’s arms.

It’s 8 am, the alarm rings and you wake up in Rúben’s arms. Unfortunately you can’t stay in his chest for all the hours that your body is begging you to. You two shared a few kisses before you had to leave to your place, so you could go home and get ready for another day of work.

Rúben showed up at your office, closing the door behind him and stealing some kisses from you.

“We still have work to do. We need to review the entire paper work of our last case so we can file it” - you say as he fills your entire face with small kisses.

He hums as he kisses your neck, him coming up behind you as you’re sitting on your chair.

“Let’s take this paper work home. We’ll do it together as I make you dinner once again” - he whispers in your ear before kissing your cheek.

You giggle but can’t refuse his offer. And that’s what happens. You meet Rúben at his place after you two left work. He left work a while before you, so he used his free time to paint. He’s shirtless, sitting on the floor, focused on the canvas in front of him, painting the best and most vivid memory he has on the front of his mind right now: his girl, naked in his bed last night. He focuses on the details of your body, the way your skin felt against his. You are his peace of mind. He reminisces how he felt last night, like the world belonged to just the two of you.

He paints the outline of your lips, his fingers carefully touching the canvas in front of him - thinking about you, how your lips feel against his own. You arrive at his place and the entire mood changes, your strong energy hitting him like a tornado, he loves it.

With all your paper work in hand, you ask him where can you put down all the files.

“Put them on the bed” - he says sensually as he walks right behind you, leading the way.

“What do you mean ‘on the bed’?” - you answer confused.

“We need to chill for a bit, work is stressing us a lot, babe” - he says behind you as he starts to take off your jacket and shirt slowly, kissing your neck as he exposes your skin.

Soon, your heels and pants are off, just like Rúben’s pants. When you notice, you’re already naked in his bed again, just a few hours after waking up in this same spot. He stays behind you, slowly kissing you and touching your body. His hands still have remains of paint from touching the canvas a bit ago, and they travel to your boobs, groping them as his lips wrap around your neck and shoulder.

His fingertips are painted through your body now. The environment feels sensual around the two of you, enticing the both of you and making sparks run through your veins.

His hand slides down your belly, to reach in between your legs and touch your clit. You start moaning at the wave of pleasure hitting your body, Rúben’s touch never fails to ignite a fire inside of you.

He plays with your pearl for a while, his mouth never leaving your skin, kissing you everywhere he can reach. The files are still in front of you, and Rúben doesn’t want to waste time.

“Come on baby, read the file for me, come on” - he whispers to you as he keeps touching you heavenly.

It takes you a while to understand what he means, your brain struggling to keep track of everything outside of the feeling he’s giving to your body.

In a few moments, you try and start reading the first words on the paper.

He pumps himself behind you with his other hand, growing harder by how erotic you sound in front of him, trying to read some boring paper work, but you just end up moaning and whining at the way his fingers flick your clit so nicely. He feels your juices already dripping through his fingers as he gets you so turned on.

Then, he overs you a bit to the front, getting you on all fours in front of him. His dick slides into you without a problem, your pussy already dripping wet from all the touching he did to you.

You moan at the feeling of his dick inside your needy pussy once again, loving the way he fills you up and fucks you so good.

He picks up the pace immediately, desperately fucking his dick deep inside of you as he hears the hungry sounds that leave your cunt.

“Keep reading the file” - he punctuates his words with harder thrusts, ordering you not to stop what you’re doing.

You try your best to read those damn words, your vision blurry from all the pleasure.

“Read our names baby, that’s right, another case that we won because we work so well together. We’re a winning team, just like we fit perfectly when your slick pussy hugs my dick so hungrily” - he groans in your ear, slapping your ass as you keep mumbling incoherent words mixed with whines and moans.

Your juices drip down your pussy, mixing with Rúben’s as well, making him slide in and out your cunt at an incredible fast pace. You’re both hungry for each other, desperate to cum. You slide your own hand through your body to play with your clit - which Rúben slaps away when he notices, substituting your own hand by his, bullying your clit non-stop until he feels your pussy wrapping around his hard cock.

“Cum for me, babe. Cum on my dick” - he tells you as he sucks another love bite on your neck, relentlessly fucking you, hitting your g-spot with every thrust and touching your clit without slowing down.

You feel a wave crash through you as you cum hard on his dick. Rúben can’t help himself and ends up cumming inside of you as well.

“You’re so perfect, fuck. I love you” - Rúben caresses your hair as he collapses on top of you.

“I love you more” - you smile at him, giving him a passionate kiss as you regain your breaths.

Dinner was long forgotten, as well as the paper work. You and your boyfriend were completely tired out from all the pleasure you end up giving each other through the night.

The next morning, you wake up early, dreading the thought of having to go to work - the feeling getting even worse after realising that Rúben has the day off. There’s nothing more that you wanted now than to just stay in bed with him all day. He notices you moving on the bed and wakes up too. He looks at you with a groggy smile, still half asleep.

“Is this Christmas morning?” - he sweetly asks as he pulls you closer to him and kisses you.

“Unfortunately not, it’s work morning. For some of us at least” - you playfully roll your eyes at him.

“You look like Christmas morning, at least” - he admits.

“I would love to stay here and listen to your love confessions all day. But I have to go, unfortunately” - you say with a sad tone.

“Have fun at work, I’ll stay here thinking about you the entire time” - he winks cockily.

You pretend to laugh at your boyfriend, already getting ready to leave his place.

“I will meet you after work?” - you say, half questioning and half sure of what you’re saying.

“If you have the time, of course” - he says, his cute features still lying between the sheets with his hair all over the place and a smudged grin on his face.

You smile at the sight in front of you as you get closer to Rúben to give him one final kiss before you leave his house.

“I will always make time for you”.

#lawyer!ruben #ruben dias #ruben dias x you #ruben dias oneshot #ruben dias smut #ruben dias fanfiction #ruben dias fic #ruben dias fanfic #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine

[hwanchaesong]

☞🍹First Drink: He has lost himself in the sea of vodka and rum, so, why don't you do him the honor of bringing him back down here on earth. 🍸

🎧: The Weeknd - Alone Again

wc: 738

genre & warnings: angst (heavy lmao), fluff, comfort, mentions of being high and drunk, cursing, pet name, Mark is a celebrity but not an idol & reader is a normal college student etc etc

a/n: this is a part of The After Hours Bar series. if y'all want, you can read the other album inspired fics of other groups here.

The loud bang of the door being harshly opened and shut jolted you awake, panicking for a second before you recognized the slurring voice of your fiancé.

You hurriedly went downstairs, worried for his well-being. It's unusual for him to come home drunk or high and cause a ruckus, and if it does happen, that means that something is bothering him.

"Mark?" you called, then you followed his humming, leading you to the kitchen, and there you saw his collapsed body on the floor.

Cautiously walking up to him, your hands went to his shoulders, and that seemed to wake him up from his misplaced slumber.

"Baby!" he mused, pulling you out of the blue, and that left you no choice but to stumble with him onto the tiled floors of your kitchen, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Mark." you plopped yourself up using your elbows, landing a palm over his chest that was heaving up and down steadily, "Is everything okay?"

His eyes shot wide open, gaze focused on you and it made you squirm, uneasy at his piercing glassy orbs.

"I'm tired of this bullshit." he mutters, devoid of emotion and you know that this is one of the nights where he's losing himself.

"Hm? Tell me more." you mumble, sitting up and gently cradling his head, putting it on your lap so he could be more comfortable.

He sighs in content, his mouth opening to speak whilst you tread your fingers in his inky hair soothingly.

"I am tired of people telling me what to do, how to act. It's like I'm only breathing for their satisfaction. I can't live with this fake life anymore."

He rambles and you listen, your heart aching at his hardships.

You will never fully understand the difficulties of being in the spotlight, as your life is as mundane as it could be.

You are a simple university student, studying hard to get your dream job that will pay for your expenses, born in an ordinary family and living in a medium-sized apartment.

He on the other hand is a famous guitarist and singer in a world-class boy band. He stands on top of luxury and stardom, and the pressure and expectations bring nothing but insanity.

That is where you come in, the normalcy in his hectic celebrity life, the main reason why Mark loves you so much.

You complete him in ways that no one else can. With you, he can say his inner, darkest thoughts and emotions without any doubts because he is secure in your presence.

Your hands went to his cheeks, massaging it tenderly before pinching it, making him whine in slight pain.

"Then rest here, breathe here, and live an honest life here with me." you say, and that's the only thing you can offer because there is no way you'd tell him to stop what he's doing.

Mark loves his job, you are well aware of that, so to give him advice about it is a big no no. That would be disrespectful for him and his ambitions.

This is the best option, to give him solace and joy when he needs it the most.

"I told you before, right?" you continue your mini speech of motivation for your beloved, "I am always here to support you. To make you feel safe. I am here to charge your battery when it's empty. After that, I'll let you go and have the time of your life performing."

"And if I get tired again?" he asks, his hands flying to wrap around your own.

"Then the cycle restarts. Come back home to me and I'll give you energy." you answered confidently, intertwining your fingers with his and resting it on his separate shoulders.

Appreciation fills Mark's heart, he would be lost if it's not for you.

"How will you do that?" he mused, thumbs rubbing over your knuckles.

You smile lovingly, leaning down and pressing a passionate yet soft kiss on his lips.

Beyond perfect, love personified is in the shape of you, and Mark wouldn't have it any other way.

You remind him of who he truly is, ground him back on earth when his mind flies a little bit too high, you heal his wounded heart and soul.

In this journey that he took, there would be times where he'll be left alone, but with you by his side, he's never lonely.

taglist:

@sunghoonsgfreal @yeosayang @shakalakaboomboo @mystverse

#nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct dream smut #nct dream scenarios #nct dream fanfic #nct dream x reader #nct dream reactions #nct dream hard hours #mark lee imagines #mark lee fluff #mark lee angst #mark lee smut #mark lee x reader #mark lee scenarios #mark lee hard hours #mark imagines #mark fluff #mark angst #mark smut #mark x reader #mark scenarios #mark fanfic #mark hard hours #renjun imagines #jeno imagines #haechan imagines #jaemin imagines #chenle imagines #jisung imagines

[tragicdruid]

Lost Love (2)

Pairings: Wanderer x Reader

Contains: Fluff, lots of yearning, platonic relationship, post-Archon quest

Word Count: 600+

Summary: After erasing himself from Irminsul, Wanderer thinks it will fix all of his problems. Instead, he finds himself with regrets.

Part 1 | Part 2

"You know I love you. Is it too hard to love me back?"

Those words continued to haunt him every time he sees you walking through Sumeru City's marketplace. That smile, those eyes --- he hates how much he misses them; how much he misses you. There's a tug in his chest whenever you look his way, but he refuses to meet your gaze. Maybe it's shame. Maybe he's just a coward. Neither of which he'd ever admit to.

Despite this, his heart continues to yearn for you. But it's too late, he decided. You have no memory of him. He is nothing to you, and you seem so at peace that he doesn't have the heart to break it.

It's the afternoon when he happens to come across you buying some baked treats for lunch. There's a lightness to your movement that comes from abandoning the Fatui and living a free life. Without his influence, he wonders what Irminsul has replaced your motives with to leave you alone here in the city. Wanderer stands at a nearby stall, casting you a subtle glance as he watches your hands smoothly take two wrapped pieces of bread. Pretty hands he wishes he could hold one last time.

"Just two will do, thanks. Well, actually, can I also get..."

Your voice is mostly the same, but there's a peace to it that he doesn't recognize. You sound happier without him; less stressed. Content. It's a pleasant sound that makes his chest clench. Would you have sounded this lovely had you not approached him back when he was Scaramouche? It's something he doesn't want to think about.

Wanderer snaps out of his thoughts as you thank the baker once more, turning away with a smile with a bag of baked goods in hand. Despite his noble intentions, he is not a noble man. Neither is he selfish, but he can be so so greedy.

As you begin to walk down the path towards another stall, he intercepts you. Your shoulders bump lightly, enough to catch your attention.

"Ah, excuse me," you exclaim apologetically, a polite small smile on your lips.

It's not enough. He wants to see that affectionate smile you once gave him. The one that makes your eyes twinkle.

"Be more careful," he responds coolly, tipping his hat slightly forward to avoid your gaze.

But he simply can't help himself. He turns his head upward once more and catches your raised brow, eyes curious as you take in his expression. Your eyes were always beautiful up close, especially when lit up by the sun.

"You bumped into me," you reply, tone both accusatory and amused. "But I'll let it slide though since you're cute."

Wanderer feels a familiar heat in his cheeks. It's something so childish to be flattered by, but it's only because it's coming from you. He can only scoff in turn, glancing to the side as he tries to focus on anything other than you...but his eyes finds their way back as they lock onto that smile. It's full of mirth and sweet amusement. He's the only one you should be smiling like that for.

"Trying to use flattery to divert blame? How childish," he chuckles, crossing his arms nonchalantly.

A huff of a laugh leaves you as you roll your eyes. "It's not flattery if it's the truth." You look him up and down with interest and curiosity. It's clear that he's not from the city; though neither are you.

"Do you want to have lunch?" You offer with a small smirk. "We can argue semantics over some treats."

You hold up your paper bag, giving it a light shake.

He knows that he should say no and let you go on your merry way, but the chance to be this close to you is too tempting to pass up.

"I don't have anything better to do. Why not?" His voice is cool and collected, but he feels anything other than that. Had he a heart, it would be pounding in his chest.

Maybe this time, he could do things right.

#scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin impact wanderer #td;writing #td;genshin

[imnotevenusin]

Explaining some placements in my Natal Chart

1. Taurus Mars: Honestly, I am kinda slow to taking action on most things. Usually, I don’t get that defensive, and I’m more comfortable with letting things slide; I don’t have enough energy for confrontation sometimes.

- squaring Neptune: Mars square Neptune is my worst aspect imo. This placement makes it hard for me to feel motivated; daydreaming is my go to, but I’m “working” on trying to knock down my goals in a realistic manner. I think this also makes my actions misconstrued by others - I always got in trouble and perceived as suspicious by others.

2. Mercury in Leo 11°: My laugh is contagious. A Leo Mercury gets attention from the way they communicate or laugh.

- opposing Neptune: Fucking terrible. All my words come out so wrong and jumbled together. An unhealthy amount of daydreaming too. I’ve always been a creative writer too.

- conjunct Saturn: This one is annoying too. I do feel like my comments or opinions get ignored sometimes. And I gotta talk slowly to get the best sentences out. Mercury-Saturn eventually makes you smart and well-educated.

3. Aries Moon: I’ve definitely witnessed my Mom taking the leadership role in the household while growing up. She’s always wanted me to be more militant and confident. Even when I think something isn’t a big deal, she’ll take it very seriously. I’ve also heard of the Aries Moons having big foreheads-trend.

I think this is the most sensitive Moon sign, because the Moon is such a vulnerable planet and Aries feels everything so fast. Whenever I face emotional problems - or discomfort, I like to work out, or listen to loud music. Its like this weird energy rush.

3rd House Moon trine Mercury: Mind is racing constantly. I like to write out my feelings and thoughts to feel better. I can accurately analyze my emotional state. I’m a good student too—not so much with homework—and I can easily pay attention and participate in class.

-sextile Neptune: I can express my emotions through poetry and music.

4. Libra MC: Throughout school, I’ve always been known for having nice outfits. My biggest aspirations involve artistic things: screenwriting & music.

5. Sun in Leo 29°/8H: Theres a lot of enjoyment in Astrology—which is also rules by the 8H—for me. In school, I had a list of everybody’s birthdays for some reason. I’m heavily interested in the subconscious mind and how it controls you—your behavior and how it affects the decisions you make. I’ve always been more interested in everything under the surface.

6. Saturn in Leo: I never really felt my Leo energy like that. I’m more reserved tbr. For some reason, I feel guilty and annoying for enjoying myself and simply being creative - even when it’s not bothering anybody.

7. Capricorn Rising: People usually tell me I look older than I am. I feel naturally awkward for some reason. Since the 1st House deals with the relationship we have with ourselves, it took me a while to get comfortable - Saturn rules Capricorn.

8. Chiron in the 1st House rX: Honestly, I never really put that much importance on my height, until other people started commenting on it. And there’s always unneeded comments on my appearance. Since its in Capricorn, I’ve had teeth problems growing up, and now I have braces.

9. Pluto in the 12th House rX: The 12th House is separated from everything and everybody. I’ve always been existential since an early age. There was always a fear of being separated from people. I do like to dig deep into my subconscious mind and figure myself out more; I’ve realized how powerful the subconscious mind was and why I was acting the way I was. Detaching from everything also seems to give me less burdens. Sleep Paralysis issues too.

10. Saturn in the 7H: Suckkkksssssss. Growing up, Im definitely the late-bloomer when it comes to relationships.

11. Uranus in the 2H sextile Ascendant: Definitely felt like an oddball growing up. I’m not the only person that listens to Rock, but I definitely got weird looks and reactions for enjoying it - I deadass used to get in trouble for listening to it. I do get self-esteem from being different, even if it alienates me. My appearance and interests surprises people.

12. Mars/Aries in the 4H: WWE matches in my household/family.

#astro observations #astrology #astro community #astro notes #astro placements #astrology observations #birth chart #natal chart #zodiac #rising sign

[moneymartin]

・❥・- just for you.

summary: kate takes her anger out on you after a hard loss. (more gentle tho cause she doesn’t have the heart to hurt you 😞😞😞) + lil bit of aftercare at the end ;3

warnings: 18+ ASFUCK! SMUT MDNI! strap on use… lol

RPF!

a/n: ik i been lacking recently but i’ve grown some more motivation to do something since i’m kinda stuck at home. also almost broke my arm yesterday hahah 🥸 also not much dialogue tbh i’ve never been good at that cuz i dont talk to ppl 😭 AND i didn’t know how to end sozzzzzz!!!!

it was the toughest lost of kate’s college career, especially considering the fact that it was her last year at UOI. the only thing she wanted was to have the championship title, just once. but the team couldn’t do it.

you saw her put all her blood sweat and tears onto that court. the way she tried to make as many shots, as many blocks as she could, and as many fouls as she could draw. the way you watched her cry while she walked into the tunnel absolutely broke you.

when she got home the air between you two grew extremely thick. you couldn’t tell if she was angry or even over it at all. she wasn’t crying, just real quiet. and being the good girlfriend you were, you didn’t bother to push any of her buttons, no matter how much you wanted to just keep her company.

kate would either be sitting on the couch, on her phone, continuously walking around the apartment, sitting in random spots on the floor, in the kitchen. she’d be anywhere and everywhere. all she wanted to do was get her mind off of it, for a little bit.

“are you okay?” you speak amidst the quiet environment that had been lingering for god knows how many hours. you didn’t try to speak either because it felt like she’d just ignore you or give you a nasty look cause she wasn’t feeling so good about it. “i’m fine.” kate murmurs and looks up at you from the clasped hands on her face. the tone she gives you makes it known that she isn’t.

“yeah, right.” a scoff leaves from your lips and the mood changes almost immediately. your eyes dart towards kate and the look that she’s giving you makes it feel like a million daggers are being dug into your back. her face stiffens up and so does your body when you realize that she’s 100% angry.

you know that it isn’t your fault, but now it really feels like it was. “do you think that’s funny or something?” when you hear that, it’s obvious that you’ve fucked up. you can’t muster up anything in response cause you know that it’ll make it worse. not for her, but for you.

but there’s just something about kate that drives you insane when she’s fired up.

“no.” you swallow.

“exactly! don’t fuckin’ go around and laugh about it, if it isn’t funny! are we clear?”

she grunts and lets out a heavy breath when you stand there all quiet and unresponsive. she hates that. its the one thing that makes kate tick the most, other than losing a game that important to her. “answer me.”

you don’t respond. and the look of anger on kate’s face grows much more apparent. “c’mon!” she groans and quickly slides off of the bed. her fingers grip at the collar of your shirt, her rapid breaths brushing harshly against your face.

she tugs your body up against hers and a small whine escapes from in between your lips. kate is giving those eyes that make you shiver all over the place. “y- yes, we’re clear…” you choke out and look away. you can’t stand seeing her angry but its also the fact that it turns you on too.

your voice makes it seem like you aren’t very sincere about saying that though, and that makes her tick even more. kate’s teeth grit together and a sharp breath makes its way through them, her fingers inching closer towards the waistband of your jeans.

“yeah? you sure?” kate teases and starts to unbutton them. her voice deepens and the cold air that meets your now exposed skin makes the shivers feel more like a billion daggers going through your body. her hands cup your waist, a newfound lust taking over the look in kate’s eyes. “doesn’t seem so sincere…” she husks out.

“i mean it! god, you can’t believe me even when i mean it the most.” you sigh and stare at the jeans puddling around your feet. when you bend over to pick them back up and put them on again, kate’s fingers wrap around your sleeve and she pulls you up, drawing a quiet ‘tsk’ sound from your mouth. “just… let me fuck your brains out until i get you to really mean it.”

she tugs you up against her again, her front subtly grinding against yours. and now you can actually feel it. her stupid fucking strap. your eyes dart towards hers momentarily before they inch away. the embarrassment you feel is incredibly strong. you’re wet, and now you can’t even look her in the eyes.

before you even get a chance to speak, kate’s hand falls on the dip of your back and you’re face first into the foot of the mattress. the side of your head presses against it again to get a breather, the sound of kate unzipping her jeans rapidly, and the tip of the strap making contact with your body.

one of her hands grabs both of yours and pins them backwards, the other hand trailing up and down your body and towards the waistband of your panties. in one swift movement, they’re off and on the floor. you have no clue where, but they’re somewhere in that room. as much as you’re trying to resist, you can’t

“c’mon, baby. don’t fight it, please.” kate pleads and leans over your body to bury her face into your neck. her teeth dig into the side of it and you let out a wince, struggling to move your hands while she keeps them in a lock. kate’s breath tickles at your skin while she pulls away, the hand she has on your waist moving away to line herself up with your entrance.

she doesn’t even give you a warning before she slides in. the only thing that makes it known that you’re getting absolutely filled up is the groan kate lets out when she goes in all the way. you let out a huge whimper and eventually start to feel it. “fuck!… oh my god.” you babble and feel kate leaning toward your face again, her breathing hitting your skin, leaving behind dark marks on the base of your neck.

the more you moan and whine into the sheets, the more it fuels her to keep going. she thrusts into you as hard as she can, her hand letting go of the two she’s been holding, and yanks at your hair to pull your head up. “you fuckin’ feel that, baby? that’s all for you.” kate grunts, smashing her lips against yours and pulling your hair again. “just for you..” a hurried ‘mhm’ escapes your lips, your voice left limited.

your whimpers mix into the kiss as you constantly punch at the bed the harder she drives into you. her teeth tug at your bottom lip and your head moves away the more you feel yourself start to sweat uncontrollably. hair sticks to the side of your head and to your forehead, kate gently brushing them out of your face to keep that prolonged eye contact.

“you’re so beautiful, i swear.”

“hmphh—! you’re going too-“

you get cut off the second you feel the turns in your stomach and the blood rush to your face. that familiar feeling burns brightly in your belly and the knot that had been there forever finally becomes undone. you end up finishing, the overwhelming sensation dying down almost instantly.

kate rolls off of you and notices the water buildup in your eyes, her thumbs running across the bottom of them to wipe them away. she lets out a small sigh and scoots a little bit closer to you, eyeing down the hickeys she left on your skin. “i’m sorry, baby.” she whispers softly and cups your face with her palms.

her lips connect onto your neck and she peppers gentle kisses all over each hickey. the contrast from her rough nature to eventually turning into that natural soft, sweet woman you fell in love with the second she sees you like this. “let me fix you a warm bath, okay? for the troubles.” she whispers in between smooches, her hand snaking up your shirt, and her nails dragging softly against your back.

“duh. you know just how i like it.”

“why would i not.” she lets out a scoff and pulls away quickly, a small smile crossing her face when you agree. “was that a scoff?” you mutter and raise your eyebrows. hers do too, and her lips narrow into a straight line. “what about it?”

well, that was the small thing that got you here in the first place.

#be gentle abt this one i know it lowk sucks #kate martin #kate martin x reader #wcbb x you #wbb x reader #wcbb x reader

[icycoldninja]

Hello! Can you do a dmc boys + v with a erza scarlet (from fairy tail) reader like s/o? She is a great magic swordswoman and weapons master, she is often strict and serous when it comes to serious situations but deep down inside she is very caring and warm towards the people she loves and loves sweets and cute girly things.

OH MY GOD YESSSS! I LOVE FAIRY TAIL! THAT'S SO COOL YOU WATCH IT TOO! YEEEEEEEEE! DMC X FAIRY TAIL, SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ALL IN ONE!👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆

Sparda boys + V x Erza-like!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Oh, Dante loves a girl who can both kick his ass and be willing to give him forehead kisses and cuddles whenever he wants them.

-Will definitely want to spar with you, not only to test your skills and hone his, but to help you improve.

-Loves to watch your magic at work; the fact that you can Requip into different outfits not limited to armor alone is incredible and makes him wish he had that power. He'd never have to physically change clothes again!

-Always lets you take charge during missions. You keep a cool head under pressure, always know what to do, and can easily come up with a plan, or part of one, at least.

-Dante knows that deep down inside you're still a girly girl, and of course, will treat you like the princess you know you are, from taking you places to just covering you in kisses and giving you a relaxing massage.

-Will buy you strawberry cake whenever you want it, usually including a few scoops of strawberry ice cream to go with it.

■ Vergil ■

-As a powerful and MOTIVATED swordswoman, you have gained Vergil's respect.

-He sees your commanding nature and level-headedness as a great asset, as well as something he can relate to.

-He appreciates your ability to think on your feet and analyze the enemy. In battle, you're basically a female version of him with magic.

-Vergil appreciates your sweet, feminine side too. Sometimes there are dark days where he feels less motivated than usual, which is when he could use a reassuring pep talk or maybe just a lap to lie in.

-Shares your (and Dante's) passion for strawberry themed desserts.

-Is also very curious about your magic and likes to watch you Requip into different clothes, wondering how many outfits you have at your disposal.

□ Nero □

-Thinks it's really cool that you can change your clothes magically, always surprised with your arsenal of armor.

-Wants to train with you all the time because you two make a badass team.

-Your seriousness is a welcome counteraction to his rash decision making, as you can stop him (forcibly so, if necessary) from doing something stupid.

-Nero likes that under all that toughness, you have a delicate heart, and does his best to take care of you in that regard.

-Will 100% buy you dresses, skirts, cute tops, and whatever else you might want.

-Also buys you any desserts you might crave--including strawberry cake.

● V ●

-V was afraid of you at first. Your headstrong, strict, and serious nature made him think you would hurt him, which wouldn't be hard thanks to his poor health.

-Thinks you're amazing when you fight. He could write epics and poetic songs detailing your feats.

-Once he got to see your magic, he was so inspired, he wrote poems for 8 hours straight and wore out his wrist.

-He never expected you to have a caring, girly side, but after seeing just how sweet you really are, realized that this was your true personality.

-This is great, because sometimes he gets violent nightmares and needs comfort.

-Wants to learn how to make strawberry cake for you.

#Dmc #Dmc5 #devil may cry 5 #devil may cry #Dante dmc #Vergil dmc #Nero dmc #V dmc #Dante dmc5 #Vergil dmc5 #Nero dmc5 #V dmc5 #dante devil may cry #vergil devil may cry #nero devil may cry #v devil may cry #dante devil may cry 5 #vergil devil may cry 5 #nero devil may cry 5 #V devil may cry 5 #dante x reader #vergil x reader #nero x reader #v x reader #dmc dante x reader #dmc vergil x reader #dmc nero x reader #dmc v x reader #dmc5 dante x reader #dmc5 vergil x reader

[hlficlibrary]

I just finished the "sweet high school fics" someone else asked for and I wonder if there's any like: one of them is a high school b*tch and the other is not having it/ HS enemies to lovers in the best Netflix teenager movie way? Thanks in advance!

Hi, anon! You're very welcome! And yes there definitely are fics out there that fit this! Here are some of them for you!

with venom on your tongue by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze

While Louis had to try so hard to stay focused and be the best, Harry somehow did the same things with ease and confidence. He hated how Harry glided through life, carrying happiness on his shoulders like it was nothing when it was arduous for Louis. His carefree demeanor made Louis feel crazy.

But that feeling just motivated him to always keep his eyes on the prize. Number one in the class rankings every year and the valedictorian spot the next year when they graduated. He was so close he could taste it. And if the only thing in his way was Harry Styles, then Louis was willing to up the stakes to figure out what made him weak just to beat him.

“Whatever,” Louis eventually said to Liam. “He’s a fucking cliche.”

or a boarding school AU where Harry and Louis are academic rivals until they realize they’re more similar than they thought.

That Smile and That Midnight Laugh by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

Harry’s never noticed how lovely Louis really is. Maybe it’s just that she’s usually so guarded – a little tense, a little irritated, a little put out. At least when she’s at school, and also usually when she’s around Nick, which are the only times Harry has really seen her. Until tonight. Tonight Harry’s seen her with her guard completely down. Too busy laughing and enjoying herself to remember to be prickly, maybe. She seems different.

It feels different.

A Ferris Bueller's Day Off AU that picks up right where the movie leaves off, and imagines what might happen if Ferris' girlfriend and sister become friends. And maybe something more, too.

Nicotine by KrisStylinson

"We're two different types of people, Liam. He likes sex and drugs, I like theater and tea. Trust me, we'd never date." Except they would, they do, and neither of them plans on letting go anytime soon.

"Just because you can get me hard doesn't mean I like you," Louis whispered. The fact was, he didn't like Harry right now, not at all. Not even a bit.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry murmured, his breath fanning over Louis' cock as he spoke. "You done telling me how much you hate me so I can suck you off?"

#ask #anon #ficrec #minificrecs #highschool #wildest dreams #krisstylinson #yeah alright #enemiestolovers

[ganondoodle]

I just wanna say firstly that i adore your artwork and takes6on Zelda in general! Secondly, much as I wish you never had to deal with the frustrations of creating (especially when you tack on the stress of being on any kind of social platform), I'm glad you talk about your struggle. I've heard people talk about art block every day since I learned what Art was, but nobody ever mentioned "painting oneself into a corner". It's such an apt description that is so infuriatingly relatable that I had to stop eating to thank you for putting it into words. I really appreciate that you're willing to talk about your setbacks in a place like Tumblr, and still share your arts and thoughts. All the best from US of hellscape A, i hope you're doing well.

Thank you!

i used to call it artblock as well, its the most normalized term i guess; i randomly started calling it painting myself into a corner when i got stuck or frustrated on a painting bc welll, it sure feels like it, you painted the walls all around you and dont know how to get out now

it usually happens when i stop having fun and just draw what i want and instead keep subconsciously forcing myself into arbitrary rules; in my case its usually trying to be too perfect, i try to adhere to the sketch, i try to make every block of color have a perfectly clean edge, separate the drawing into way too many layers and am afraid to delete or erase anything, i tense up my whole body as frustration builds bc of impatience as this method of painting does not work for me at all and in the end lose motivation on it all and my nerves are stretched thin (i work best when i think as little as possible, just kinda loosely letting my hand do what it wants on few layers and no specific plan, after losing that its hard to get it back)

having those low moments with your art is normal as your skill grows, but even knowing so, and having gone through it countless times, it never stops making you feel like shit, and its especially frustrating when it happens when you just got enough time to work on stuff or have alot of ideas but you cant get it to work

(and funnily enough it also tends to happen after another work of mine got more attention than i thought .. even worse when it was just a sketch bc now i got the pressure on me to actually finish it and the fear of it doing worse once done looms over the whole thing- which doesnt mean i dont want people to interact with my wips, bc that also has an extremely demotivating factor to it bc it makes me think no one cares or it sucks and doesnt deserve the time i would need to spend on finishing it; also .. alot of my wips stay wips forever, which is fine, but like .. you cant always expect a finished tm version to happen)

i do find it a little funny you praise me for talking openly about it bc i am notoriously unable to shut up ever and only recently got better at NOT talking as much about it when i feel as shitty as this bc it doesnt really help anyone and gets annoying really fast xD (im also notoriously unable to not post absolutely everything bc i got no one to show it to and otherwise it will just collect dust on my harddrive so i might as well throw it out there no matter how much i might hate it, someone else might still enjoy it anyway)

and greetings back from the -not really much less of a hellscape- that is germany o/

#ganondoodles answers #currently sinking deeper into that corner lol #been trying to draw the ancient rito guy and based it on those cool looking fruit doves #but forgot its kinda dumb from a color perspective bc its largely green ....... like the damn stone .......... #also been doing the ... all the things i mentioned above that make me feel this frustrated depressed kinda thing #i just WANT TO DRAW LET ME DRAW THERES SO MCUH TO DRAW ARGH

[fleouriarts]

feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole

#hivemind tv #hmfcu #riley savage #graydon weaver #quadeca #jane remover #eden burke #my art #2023 #fanart #doodles #furry #its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online #doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself #and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling #and come back and then the cycle repeats #its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard #so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)' #NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here #and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out #and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave #i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style #idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment #i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one” #or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it” #sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse #whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m #friends for a while i think #woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography

[scififantasy-fandoms]

I don’t really make much fandom content, am more of a lurker, but it’s occurred to me that character playlists/song recs are a thing I can do? So maybe I should try to do that sometime.

Feel free to prompt me for music recs for characters of fandoms I’m in, mainly:

-Percy Jackson & related (Including magnus chase & kane Chronicles)

-DC, especially Batfam

-Star Wars (Prequel)

-ATLA

#dc #PJO #Batfam #percy jackson #dick grayson #tim drake #I’m more likely to actually do it if receive a prompt bc I don’t really get much engagement on this blog #and it is hard to motivate to do things when feel like no one will see them #character playlist #music #my post #I headcanon that Dick Grayson would be a big PINK fan bc he likes pop and she does acrobatics stuff #some of my fave bands include Queen AJR and PINK which pretty well represents the spectrum of my music taste

[slutdge]

somehow while ive been going through the unbearable torment nexus ive still been able to keep up with my album-a-day-for-a-year thing so far

#like yeah brother i wish i was dead right now but im not. somehow i havent killed myself so i keep checking out albums #but i dont wanna undermine that im in unbearable pain rn lmao #my therapist said that wasnt good for me to pretend #im very much still in a torturous life and i feel helpless cause i dont think i can ever escape #but at least ive had the motivation to keep up one thing yknow #or im just crazy and psychotic and this made no sense whatever im going back to my suffering hibernation now #at the very least being honest cant hurt even if it doesnt help all that much but im really at the lowest ive ever been my dudes #ive never been lower than this #im failing at all the aspirations of a healthy person but at least im keeping up on the album thing #i know that maybe doesnt seem significant to other people #but when the only thing i can do when i get off work so i dont die of starvation is get in bed #but i still make an effort to hold myself to this commitment #thats at least a tiny bit of light im trying to put in my life no matter how hard i just wanna lay down and die all the time

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one? #the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

[mightymizora]

It’s been so long since I’ve written any of Breath and Rosewater. Maybe it’s time to go back to the longfic!

I love Glim and miss writing her honestly.

#I hate to be That Person but a huge thing with it has been #it’s really hard to motivate myself to work on it because it takes SO much work #it’s way more carefully written and crafted than my other stuff #and it doesn’t really have a readership in the same way so feels a bit like sunk effort #I feel like with longfic you really just have to love it so much #and I do but I also get sad that it goes out to seemingly one or two readers when SO much work goes into it

[blueskittlesart]

In defense of the original, while I do agree the episodic vibes were a bit much at times, and it was something I kinda had to work my way through slowly rather than binging all in one...

I do kinda prefer the more gradual approach to laying out the information; getting to know both the setting and who Vash is as a person and the different facets of both, before getting the context that lets it all click into place. Plus the main quartet having ample time to grow together so that later developments have stronger emotional weight.

I will agree that Knives definitely suffered in focus, and I am interested in how Stampede handles him, but admittedly he wasn't really what I watched Trigun for in the first place. ^^;

yeah my gripe is less with the way the setting and characters were handled and more with the way the. actual plot was handled. it honest to god felt to me like they realized about halfway through their run that they didnt have enough episodes left to get the backstory in in a cohesive way so they just shoved it all into one episode and pretended that that explanation didn't create more questions than it answered. you spend 20 episodes teasing your audience like "ooooh what is vash?? clearly hes not human!! clearly there's something going on!!! don't you want to know whats going on?? keep watching and you'll totally understand whats going on!!" and then your big reveal is that. He Is Not Human. which is something that any idiot who has watched the last 20 episodes has already figured out. the question the audience ACTUALLY has at that point in the runtime is what, EXACTLY, is vash, and what the context is behind the conflict he and knives are in. the backstory episode explains that Knives Is Here, and it gives context to the setting and everything, but it pissed me off that it STILL didn't answer the actual mysteries i cared about, i.e. vash's real identity and the thing with the gun and his fucking arm and knives's motivations and everything. maybe that gets answered in the last episode that i neglected to watch but personally I prefer a story where i UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON by the time the final confrontation hits. with trigun it got to a point where vash was going out for the final battle with knives and i STILL didn't know who vash was, who knives was, where they came from, or what the hell their motivations were. that just made that final confrontation seem so wholly uninteresting to me that i didn't even feel like watching it. it was like "hey look vash is fighting a cardboard cutout that he is Afraid Of. Why? lmao idk man. probably has something to do with that weird spaceship that shows up in one whole episode before this point. not going to tell you how tho." I think some writers have this tendency to think that mystery = good writing and that not revealing anything to your audience will consistently draw them in for more, but that only works for so long. after 20 episodes of virtually net 0 information it got to feel like I was being strung along and like my questions were never going to be answered, so I gave up on the show in the final hour. Again, i'm not saying it was BAD necessarily and i understand the context in terms of writing and production that led to the show being produced that way but i think it really noticeably suffers due to the fact that it refuses to give the audience ANYTHING but crumbs of information for about 80% of it's runtime. that being said. i did genuinely like a lot of it. it has its moments. im not trying to discourage anyone from watching it or anything lol i just think stampede is a little more successful in keeping the viewer engaged in the story throughout by constantly feeding you bits of information and actually answering your questions as they become plot-relevant.

#asks #wow hi. trigun essay intermission sorry everyone #this same thing applies to virtually every villain in the show. nick. zazzie. the guy with the blue hair whose name i dont even remember. #you get like. the barest snippets of information about them. you know theyre working for knives somehow #you know that they've been somehow modified? and that their titles identify them as relating to knives #in nick's case you know that his whole thing has something to do with the orphanage and the priesthood #but beyond that you get... nothing. and you're expected to just speculate?? figure it out somehow??? #nick especially pissed me off bc it got to a point where he was DEAD and i still didn't understand what the fuck his deal was #despite him being a supporting character for almost the entirety of the show. he still got only like half an episode dedicated to explainin #his backstory and motivations and EVERYTHING. and then he DIED #and like. to be fair. i think the lack of explanation worked in some places. it worked decently with vash #but it worked with vash BECAUSE vash is pretty much an open book as a character. you can easily tell what he's thinking and feeling #and it's not hard to extrapolate things about him from what you see. his pacifism. the fact that he's not human. his past trauma etc etc #you can get a good portion of that just by watching him throughout the show #but i think that only works BECAUSE he shows so much of himself. for a character like nick who is deliberately closed off #and NEVER shows his true self expecting the audience to be able to understand & empathize with him based solely on what he projects #just doesn't work. because it's made clear to the audience from the getgo that nick is not the person he claims he is #and that he takes steps to never show too much of himself. so when his backstory shows up randomly in one episode #and then he immediately dies. it leaves you kinda like. okay. what the hell was that. who was that guy anyway #you know??? #ok rant over fr