#idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment

[fleouriarts]

feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole

#hivemind tv #riley savage #graydon weaver #hmfcu #quadeca #jane remover #eden burke #my art #2023 #fanart #doodles #its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online #doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself #and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling #and come back and then the cycle repeats #its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard #so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)' #NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here #and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out #and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave #i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style #idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment #i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one” #or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it” #sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse #whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m #friends for a while i think #woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography

[quartztwst]

I DELETED THE ASK IM SO SORRY WAAHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'm also Hmong!!! I don't really say it much bc not a lot of people know of us 😭😭😭 I grew up with both of my parents families but I'm trying to learn our culture so I can't speak hmong. I know a bit but I can't speak it.

But it's alright if you don't know the culture, I even don't know it 😓😓😓 we just gotta learn though!!

Here’s a short basic context or info about Hmong people though:

Hmong people are an Asian ethic group in East and Southeast Asia. We are found in many different countries!! Examples like Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, China, and America!!! (There’s probably others in other countries too).

AND HERE'S MY TWEEL HMONG HCS!!! (BTW these are based on my experiences as a Hmong American person and also this will have explanations about our culture which will be highlighted in blue.)

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

- Jade and Floyd are slightly tanner because not all Asians are pale white 💀💀💀 jk but I think they're the types to get easily tanned in the sun (and Azul gets sunburnt)

- They have a few freckles/marks/(DOTS?? HOW TF DO YOU DESCRIBE THOSE?? BEAUTY MARKS WTF??) on their face. Yall never seen me draw them bc um.... I drew these like.. today HELPP

- Jade also has the string bracelet on his wrist. They're like the things that keep your soul with you and they keep you from getting sick and bad luck/spirits (I MEAN THATS HOW MY MOM EXPLAINS IT LMAOO. I remember my grandparents would tie one on my wrist and speak in another language. I don't remember if it was Thai or Chinese.)

Examples of it:

- I used to draw Floyd with it because I thought that since he seems like the type to get noticeably more in trouble than Jade (because he's discreet) and his grandma would be worried for him so she would tie that to his wrist so he wouldn't get more in trouble (bc some older generations think that sometimes the things you do or that you're sick is because your soul has been flying away?? Or that your soul has been taken. Its nothing bad. It's just something cultural and in their religion of Hmong people.) But I feel like he would get annoyed and cut it off later LMAOO

- (Tais means Grandma on mom’s side) So Jade has it but you can't see it with his gloves and long sleeves in the way.

- There's not much to say about their appearances 😭😭😭

SOME HMONG HEADCANONS OF THEM:

- Jade knows the Hmong language and how to speak it but Floyd doesn't but he knows some of it (I'M PROJECTING. I'M PROJECTING SOOO BAD.)

- I think Floyd doesn't really put the effort on learning because "everyone else speaks English (in my universe 😓😓😓 idk)" so he doesn't really bother learning how to speak it but he does know some words.

- He uses a lot of context clues to understand like if he knows some words of the sentence, he'll respond but if there's words he DOESN'T know, he'll be like "huh? Gucci pow.... (<- BAD PRONUNCIATION OF HMONG WORDS)"

- Jade knows Hmong and English so this mf is bilingual.

- Sometimes he would whisper stuff in Hmong to Floyd and THEY BOTH WOULD GIGGLE BC THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF SOMEONE 😭😭😭 AND YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND (UNLESS YOU DO) SO NOW YOU'RE SCARED IF THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUUUU

- Or there's no giggling because Floyd doesn't understand so all you hear is a "huh?" And Jade says nevermind, LEAVING FLOYD CONFUSED AND ANGRY.

- Their mom speaks both Hmong and English while their dad only knows Hmong but is trying to know English (because it's better for business but I feel like he'll have other people speak for him).

- I like to think that Floyd doesn't really wanna speak to his dad than his mom is because of the language barrier. It's hard to speak to eachother with limited words (i know by experience 😞😞😞). It's genuinely sad but they both try their hardest to understand eachother.

- Jade and Floyd like to share Azul some of their foods in their culture (THEY STILL HAVE THEIR CANON FAVORITE FOODS. Also i still dont know how the fuck they cook their food in the sea. I know they eat raw food like Jade said BUT MR. ASHENGROTTO SAID HIS MOMMY OWNS A RESTAURANT AND AZUL KNOWS HOW TO COOK???)

- Like Naab Vaam, Pho, and stuff (some of our food are actually from other countries that we live in/came from like Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, and etc. We just put our own spin on them so they may or may not taste the same as their origin.)

- I don't think in the sea they wear clothes but Jade and Floyd found some Hmong clothes on the surface and found it cool.

- I don’t actually know their exact type of Hmong clothes they wear though. (Hmong people have different types of clothing depending on who you are and where you’re from. It’s very important to know which one you are. Also there’s 2 different dialects of Hmong and probably MORE?? idk……)

- I drew them wearing Hmong clothes that my family wears though:

ITS NOT A GOOD PICTURE but I was so proud of myself guys please it was months ago since i made that nfkjanfkjasdjhfjhjfk

- I was hoping to figure which type of Hmong they are like Hmong Green, Hmong White, etc etc BUT I’M TOO EMBARASSED TO ASK MY MOM BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE SHE’LL THINK IT’S SILLY TO USE THIS INFO ON ANIME CHARCATERSUIDHFAHDJKFHK

- So i just use the info i already know 😭😭😭😭

- (Also the necklaces hanging on their necks are silver necklaces. THEY’RE SO FUCKING HEAVY. MY MOM HAS A REAL SILVER ONE AND GOD DAMN. THEY GIVE YOU SO MUCH NECK PAIN. But they represent our wealth 😞😞😞. Good thing they recently made ones without real silver. Also there’s Hmong clothes with silver coins on them and they also represent wealth!! They hurt less!!)

- Hopefully I can recreate the Tweels in Hmong clothes in better art!! I CAN BARELY SEE THIS ONE.

I think I’m done for now. I was hoping to say more but I don’t have any more 😭😭😭😭 But I hope you find these somehow a bit interesting and helpful about Hmong culture. I was really excited to tell someone my Tweel Hmong HCs because hkuahfjdkshfjkahj I DON’T KNOW I JUST GET HAPPY!! I love sharing my culture even if I’m still learning it. Not a lot of people know about us because we don’t have a country. But im really happy to meet other Hmong people on here and share the representation!!

#twisted wonderland #twst #jade leech #floyd leech #octavinelle #azul ashengrotto #hmong #headcanon #headcanons #twst headcanons #twst hcs #jade leech hcs #floyd leech hcs #hmong hcs

[beamattack]

Hi! I wanted to ask you, how you began with your idea about your zelda au? You inspired me in doing a my own one and in a game-like-way, i love your contents in this your idea! (Idk if you already replied a similar question :,I)

What a nice message! I'm so happy when people ask about and enjoy my zelda stuff even when i haven't been able to draw for it for a while, since it's very close to my heart! :^D And i'm so happy to hear that it has inspired you!! Makes my heart worm 🪱 ❤️

As for how I began with it… I can't remember my exact thought process, but I've always found loz-games fascinating both gameplay-wise and story/worldbuilding-wise! I've always loved how different the games are even with their shared elements. The land of Hyrule itself and its creatures vary wildly from game to game and aren't bound by any certain rules, which just adds to its strange myth-like quality which i adore. So I think I just naturally started to play around and thought about what I would do if I made a LoZ game - it's like a giant playground to me! At first I just had vague ideas that I liked: I've always liked Vaati so he'd be the antagonist, I've always wanted to see more of the rarely seen darker fairies so I made one Link's companion, I like drawing fabric moving in the wind so Link got a scarf, I love drawing snow so that would be the main setting, etc.. You see my thought pattern, haha! I drew a couple of concept sketches to get it out of my head, and some years later I revisited it and added to it and formed into what it is today (Zelda, the village, the story, map & locations etc.).

Basically I wanted to create a LoZ idea that could possibly be played as an actual game in the franchise but with my own touches, and picking elements from canon that I really liked (some people have noticed that it feels like it could fit the “Hyrule's Decline” timeline, which is right - I'm super inspired by ALttP/ALBW's maps and Zelda 1 & 2's manuals and feel!). Same with the gameplay elements - so much of LoZ's identity lies in its gameplay, so for me it would be impossible to come up with a Zelda idea without thinking of it as a game, haha! So it's a mix between canon gameplay elements (dungeons, items, enemies & bosses) and just stuff that I personally think would be fun (Link as a stealthy scout, snowy environment hazards, status effects (I'm a JRPG nerd) etc).

Sorry for the long answer! This might be more than you asked for. But I'm glad you asked, thank you! :D I haven't been able to draw much lately because of my studies but here are a couple of sketches I can share! :)

(loz idea masterpost)

#ask #eik674 #loz au #dont ask why link doesnt have his sword in the first sketch. i forgot to draw it but i'll pretend some monster knocked it out of his hand

[snek-panini]

It's been a few weeks since I had new books to share, but I finally got photos taken of the newest ones so today's the day. Here, have a book:

This is Across Tides and Currents, a Good Omens siren AU by Sodium_Azide and @doorwaytoparadise (hi. I hope I tagged you right). My favorite thing about this AU is that, at its heart, it's about learning to communicate with someone who is so different from you that you can't even physically speak each other's language, and yet you've still got so much common ground that you find a way. It's way lighter and more fun than that description makes it sound, though, so go read it if that's your thing.

The cover on this is Lineco book cloth, scrapbook paper printed to look like leather, and blue foil htv. The foil was actually a nightmare to do. The first time I applied it, it wouldn't stick no matter what I did, and the bits that did stick peeled off as soon as I touched them. I had to peel them up very carefully, cut a new image, and try again. Thankfully it worked the second time but I don't know that I'll be using the foil type again unless there's no other way to get the color I want. The non-foil metallic was so much easier to work with.

More book photos under the cut!

I went with a coptic bind for this one for a few reasons. The first was that I wanted to try one on a quarto-size book to see if I could. I also wanted to try the mitered corners thing I did when I bound Strange Moons, and see if I could have the same effect on the interior. (That bit didn't work out so well; the front is fine but I mismeasured the inside and the lines didn't match up, so I trimmed some pieces of cardstock to cover that up. I really like the layered look though, so that's fine. It's quirky.) The third reason is that not long before I decided to bind this one, the authors published a new chapter after two years of no updates. That's the best possible reason to have to change plans, and the glueless bind means that if they ever do that again I can just redo the stitching to add more pages. Win-win.

Getting whimsical with title pages here. This took way longer than I thought it would, probably because I don't like graphic design and I did it in Word where I do the rest of my typesetting. Usually what I do is grab an image and put text around it or on top of it and then just play with fonts and sizes, but this time I drew the lines and then made the text follow them. This is the first time I've used the word art feature since...probably 2009? I'd forgotten how. I have no doubt there are better ways to do this but if I'd had to learn a new program at that point I'd have quit. And I do think it was worth it--it's cute and fun and looks about how I imagined it.

Couple of photos of the inside. Sorry the first one's blurry, I had someone trying to get my attention when I took these. The section break image came from rawpixel, I just made it gray instead of black so it's more subtle. The fic has very nice illustrations that I specifically got the artist's permission to print and then I failed to get any photos of them when I did my little photo shoot. They look very nice, though. I swear.

The last image is something I've started including in my latest books. I'm calling them "A Note from the Bookbinder" and it's basically just me talking about why I chose that story, the experience of reading it for the first time, stuff that's going on in the fandom, stuff about the process like the new chapter coming out as I was preparing to print. It's kind of...like marginalia? Part of fanbinding is preservation and that's linked to archival work, and something I know archivists love is marginalia and diaries. I don't like writing in my books and I've never found any fun in journaling, but sometimes that kind of context is important so I'm trying to add it. Someday, decades from now, I may not remember all the details, so I'm trying to preserve them. IDK, this got philosophical on me. Go read about mermaids now. Promise it's a good time.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #snek makes books #good omens #fic rec #i wanted to do this as a mermay project #that did not happen #i finished it in october #happy mertober

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I've been seeing the whole Cyprus thing reaction and I'm curious about something, all your oc have been comfort characters, even if not for you, with comfort in mind I imagine, and while Yves is the epitomy of perfect comfort Cyprus is an interesting different angle, while harsh, the idea about breaking out of the day to day routine and, as you said, a tale bout beating addictions, the last takes seemed harsh

you said he was an attention grab project for you, and clearly you succeeded but now want to just throw him out, putting some traits that make someone unlikable pretty easy and then doubling down so there's no doubt, and the reactions I've seen of 'i can't believe I liked him' 'i drew him' and so on, I get it, while he wasn't what I imagined from the first chapter, he had some somewhat redeemable traits, but now it feels like someone pulled the rug

As in even if you personally didn't liked him anymore, or ever, I thought you would let him fade for a while, like your other 1st gen oc, for lack of interest about writing for them, all of this to ask why is that? I'm not criticizing, I love all your works, been here for a long while and still hooked as the first day

I mean is your character, you can say he is whatever and since he is yours well then that's canon, as I said I'm just surprised of how vilified he's been made recently

ykno how this blog is basically copium for me and i use it as like a comforting teddy bear. But another lesser known use for this website is something to help me process and make sense of the shittiness of the world

So actually all my ocs has at least some component that's strongly inspired by people in my life, like Yves- exaggerated traits that i liked in my parents and friends, Blanche- exaggerated traits that i liked in my grandma etc etc so these are the comfort side

the thing is Cyprus is always meant to be this way from the beginning 😭😭😭the source material being all the things i hated about my dad, the machoness, coerciveness, bigotry, tough love upbringing on his kids and all that jazz, the stuff that made me go ouch for many years- so cyprus isn't even a fictional character anymore like my 1st gen ocs, its literally a retelling of what i disliked the most about my father and trying to make it palatable enough to innoculate myself from the real thing- but Cyprus is just gross to me

The true nasty side of him wasn't revealed early on bcasye,ykno,,,, i love and want clout 👉👈,,,, there were a couple of asks about his view on kids, i already had that piece written out but i waited to post it only when its confirmed he's the most popular one. I was going to scare away a lot of people if I just go high octane piece of shit on him

I truly loved my 1st gen ocs, they bring me a hella ton of comfort but like it isn't as effective as Yves, I will be churning out more and more ocs just to chase that high or relief from da horrors of da world. So i just let them fade a way and go into a comatose state (me not writing about them) because i still do wanna revisit them one day and i do not want them to go out in pain and hated

Gonna be honest with you chief idk wtf is Cyprus to me now, like he is not giving me comfort in a traditional sense like Yves or Blanche, or Yan big brother, but he STILL is giving me a sense of like relief and catharsis by letting me write him into this asshole im having to face irl, like i converted an attention grab to another one of my copium- when Cyprus was in his like golden problem child phase where everyone likes him except the author, he wasn't copium, dude

only after i vilified him (and received a bunch of horrified responses and a couple of hate asks as a result) did he do something to make me feel good, like Yves level good but in the opposite direction, like the Yin to Yves's Yang of comfort

Like i definitely will still write about Cyprus, he's just the black sheep of the comfort family and even tho i do joke a lot about this being an attempt to remove as much of my reader's favour for him so i can just eradicate him without a lot of uproar, its never really the case. Cyprus is transformed to another outlet for me to express my thoughts and feelings about stuff i fuckin hate irl but will have to face regularly [i will slow down on the cyprus posting tho cause i am going back to Yves as like a knee jerk reflex]

Cyprus was meant to be hated, but with how the world works, there will be people who still love him and take him in as their wet rat. So i wouldn't say that he's my most unpopular oc after i fleshed out the shit side of him, just the most divisive one- he's like fuckin vegemite, you either hate him with a burning passion or love him and want to slob on his knob

anyways here is your hot cup of Yappuchino served with a side of Yappanese sponge cake. Enjoyszss and thanks for the askkkk

#yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere concept #male yandere oc x reader #yandere x you #yandere oc x reader #tw yandere #oc cyprus

[delunesnumberonefan]

sketch time

you will sit down. you will look at my horrible little women. And You Will Appreciate Them

no this is NOT going under a cut you will see the blood sweat and tears i put into belialah's demon form and you will appreciate it, me, and saskia's off the charts world class monsterfucker status

we got saskia. we're familiar with saskia--or at least you should be. go look at the art by korppipoika and give them so many notes--this post will wait. and while you're out, look at the post about the matriarchs too. and if you're not up to date on saskia and belialah, here's another one for your list. i'll be here when you get back.

up to date? excited? horny? me too!!

so we got those two. in order for the images: saskia (recent), belialah (first draft, still happy with this and haven't been able to capture this vision since)

we got their dynamic:

saskia being a bitch and belialah being, despite everything, head over heels. still can't quite nail belialah's human face, but we're learning

...it took me a long time to nail down belialah's demon form. it went through a lot of drafts---many of which i am not sharing. this one is the oldest one i'm willing to share:

i believe this is draft 3? patch notes from earlier drafts: 4 fingers instead of three, took out "humanoid" eyes, added floaty halo bits. other than that, this is what it's mostly stayed true to. chase gave me an inspo and i remixed it and made it worse because i love body horror. so we have this! extra joint between the wrist and elbow, loads and loads of eyes, sharp teeth (yum!), wings, and a broken halo plus the big horn. love her. she has spider legs below her waist--she has "skirts" that are made from her skin that she usually wears (has?) over them.

made some eensy sketches for ideas:

i tinkered on size, proportion, posture, etc. it's vague, but not exact for either of them. i want a bigger height difference and this is for me first and foremost

i settled on this body type for saskia:

no nipples so she's not naked :) this is for anatomy reference, tumblr. ANATOMY. be so nice to me ;-;

ignore the stuff at the edges, this is part of a larger project idk if i'll finish where i look at all the matriarchs and their body types. saskia is the most...well, besides ethalind, the most hourglass shape. this is the most recent drawing of her i have besides the one at the very end, this is the one i would say is most canon. hence why it is included--the last one i have doesn't quite hit right for me. still working on consistency.

as i improved my art, i wanted to take another stab at belialah. which meant figuring out her lower half.

i did these ones reeaaally recently. i looked at so many things for inspo: crabs, spiders, human pelvises, centaur speculative biology, drider speculative biology, an introspective look at how much of a monsterfucker i am, etc. until i found something i was happy with. these are within the last few days. the lil sketches at the far bottom right of the first page are what i settled on. after that, i tinkered with how she looks with skirts vs no skirts---ignore the sword, it's no longer accurate to what it actually looks like, but that's endgame shit and no spoilers :)

i'm really happy with how she's turned out and i think she's kickass and awesome and i can't wait to beat her and saskia into the ground.

and then we have:

team gaslight gatekeep girlboss :)

i drew this last night!! really happy with how my art is coming along. i hesitated on whether to draw the skirts, because i think the spider legs are so fucking cool and i know logically the skirts are there but tbh its funner drawing the spider legs than the skirts :(

i want to make it very clear: belialah is submissive in the way a guard dog is submissive, to quote a post i once tagged as gilt and lost. belialah is loyal, devoted, willing to protect--but will wait for an order before acting

btw, to make something else clear: saskia? saw the demon form first. is more attracted to the demon form than the human form. is far more willing to smash with belialah in demon form. i love my weirdest little freak of a woman <3

ok that's all bye

#roselyn talks #roselyn's art #love and war #saskia tag #belialah tag #the empress and her shadow #please come talk to me about the worst women in the world i love them so #body horror #too many eyes #eyes cw #idk what to tag #sorry i forgot these initially i hope i got them in time :<

[edith-is-a-cat]

OMG!! i love crystals so muchhhhh that's got such a good vibe you captured me perfectly :D

i also love minecraft foxes especially the Rotund Ones in that one mod. i'm so excited to see more arctic foxes in game because those are my favorite :) i would keep your netherite sword safe!!!

also dw i'm not worried :3 i don't mind anxiety, i have it myself. i'm not the most social person in the world but online i tend to be more outgoing. i'm kinda getting back into the tumblr scene after a year or two of neglecting it so i'm a little anxious here and there too lolol. patting your head! don't drink too much energy stuff~

in return, i am telling you to look up blue tiger's eye crystals, since you seem to like blue and you are also a cat. :) they have really cool banding and it's so reflective and pretty. one of my favorite crystals.

THE NOISE I MADE I LOVE READING LONG ASK THEY ARE SO SWEET 💕 (My older sibling made a noise back at me from downstairs 😭)

RAH SINCE I WAS REMINDED I MUST SHARE THW RANDOM CRYSTALS I KEEP IN MY ROOM AND BATHROOM (with many sea shells too)

yes all the photos have flash on because im a "one of those creatures who've evolved to spend their entire existence in a pitch black cave that's closed off from the world" (direct quote from my friend) an i never have any lights on i just run into things

WUGH WHAT MOD EXACTLY??? IM GOING TO WRITE IT DOWN AND HOPEFULLY USE IT ONE DAY!! (I haven't gotten minecraft on my pc yet, ive wanted to mod minecraft for a while but couldn't bc forever on an ipad, but i have modded stardew valley and it wasn't as scary as I thought it was! Now i can live happily with my 6 wives!! Plus ive been wanting to mod Deltarune for the Ribbit mod! but its more scary and complicated since there isn't as big of a modding community around it, ill figure it out though!!!)

also if u were like a little fox in minecraft i would give you a special nametag using my magic §!! (you can get that symbol by holding down &!! idk if your keyboard is the same but that how i get it!! It changes the text color depending on what letter you put by it!!!) Also i would construct you the best enclosure ever (or just plant a forest!!)

WUGH SO REAL if real life was like being online everything would be so cool (and maybe suck a bit more?? people get more voiced online for better and for worse ;~;)

+ I got back into tumblr like!!! October 2022, well i was never really into it but I did have my first blog that i never really did anything with (its now my reblog account)

also on the energy drink note my chem teacher said i had a problem 😭 (I dont!!! I exist like a month without any!! (I love her i showed her my can locker where i had filled my school locker with energy drink cans and shes just like "cool bud" SHE ALSO WAS ONE OF THE TWO TEACHERS TO ASK FOR OUT PREFERRED NAMES I LOVE HER))

On the blue tiger's eye note!!!! Yes. please. give. I need them i have so many things to decorate!!!! I need to put up shelves around my bed so i can look at my random stuff i adore!!!!! (the only thing i have up on my wall is something i drew for my art class and my Undertale heart locket aka one of my most prized possessions... sadly the the music box in it doesn't work anymore i played it so often, cries, it broke when i was trying to wind it for the little kids at my old school)

OKAY DID NOT KNOW I COULD TALK SO MUCH!!! DJFJDB

#silly little bear answers :] #this is very much how i speak irl surprisingly

[mooifyourecows]

Hey moo :)

Can I ask a question? You moved into your house not that long ago right? Have you done any house projects since you moved in? Or discovered any house secrets?

Most of the weird house stuff was stuff that literally drew me to want to buy it in the first place tbh

Like the photos were pleasantly honest! (Which is great considering I bought this bitch ONLINE without ever seeing it in person hahaha 🫠)

Like I can tell that whoever made this house wanted to make something original and quirky and I'm in love with it. There are so many weird angles and design choices with zero rhyme or reason. like why do those walls connect at a 30° angle like that?? Why are there beams everywhere? What shape is that room even supposed to be???

It's just.. FUN. Literally when I saw the pictures on zillow for this place, I was like "weird!" But then saved it. And then returned to it over and over again while looking at other places and eventually I just knew it was the one. Like I couldn't get it out of my mind

But like, how could I pass it up? It was less than 200k$ and 2300 square feet on 5 acres of land down a wooded lane!! J-j-j-jackpot!

There are some totally weird and funky design choices and there's a lot I WANT to do.

Some examples (ignore lazy or nonexistent decorating, i havent gotten around to doing anything yet):

There's this nasty ass wall paneling throughout like 1/3rd of the house that looks like the walls of a motor home and I HATE IT. It's ugly and stupid and I tore off one panel to see what was underneath and guess what! It's normal wall! (Ignore hot lady calendar)

Except the glue from the paneling kinda ripped off parts of it but like THEY JUST GLUED THIS SHIT ON OVER WALLPAPER?? WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? JUST REMOVE THE WALLPAPER AND PAINT, ITS SO MUCH EASIER THAN THROWING UP THIS UGLY BULLSHIT. ugh

So like yeah I wanna remove all of that, but it's gonna be a big project because there's a LOT and some of it is underneath the cabinets in the kitchen. Yikes.

Pretty much every ceiling is tall and slanted in some weird way, which makes me dread painting because how am I supposed to paint super high up like that when I only got a 7 foot ladder???

The house is 1.5 stories too, which means that there's a partial upstairs that is essentially just a little loft thing that looks out over the living room and then this small, strange room we affectionately refer to as "Travis's room" for reasons I think will soon be obvious....

We will honestly probably have to hire a contractor to come look at this upstairs area because part of the ceiling is like... collapsing? And all gross and dirty? (Kinda visible in that second photo) It's not attached to the roof so like, the outside is fine and isn't leaking or in danger of caving in but idk it's just kinda weird and I have no idea what the thought process was for this whole upstairs area. Like what is this narrow little sliver of room here? (Ignore hot wheels tracks)

And the ceiling fan next to the staircase is SO CLOSE lmao if it's on and you lean even a little bit over the railing, you're getting brained. Like in this pic I'm not reaching out, just lifting my arm to touch it (ignore dust, I don't clean and you can't make me)

The living room is really big but it's also weirdly shaped so organizing my furniture is a nightmare. Especially since there's a pellet stove (currently not working) on one wall. (ignore dirty socks, mismatched cheap lamps, messy cat tree corner behind couch, big ugly coffee table I got for free that used to be black until I sanded it down but then got bored and left it as is)

As of right now, I haven't done much to the place because wow apparently home improvement takes effort and costs money??? Go figure. And we've been pretty broke lately so I've just been collecting ideas for the time being.

I am absolutely gonna start painting this year though. My bedroom rn is just boring white so I wanna fix that. Maybe do something dark and warm like a dark brown or green or hmm something like that. The room I've been calling the "gym" (because that's where I put the treadmill) will probably get done next since it's such a blank slate and should be easy to fix up.

And I absolutely want to mess around with my office because the way it's arranged and decorated rn is lame. They painted a bunch of rooms an ugly ass flat brown color, including several closets, my office, and the spare bathroom so THATS got to go.

I want to start decorating for real, finally buy some frames for the art I've been collecting so I can hang them up on some of these tall ass walls.

I also have plans to make a catio out back and even have a bunch of wood and some of the frames constructed but I got bored and abandoned it haha 😄

Oh and I want to reeeeally start doing stuff with the outside. I want to plant trees and maybe do a garden this year, tear up the plants I don't want and replace them with ones I do, clean up the big ass plot of land that's just overgrown brush and weeds and maybe make it into an orchard? Get some fruit trees and make some cute little rows? Maybe I'll even build a fence and a pond and put flowers everywhere. You know, for the bugs 💌🐝🐛🦋🕷

Now i just need to win a million dollars so I can afford to do it all 🥲

[beck-nightengale]

Summer Reading/Writing/Arting Tag

Yo, I was tagged by @chennnington over here to do this thing and it does look like fun, so why not!

But I'm also going to be boring since idk who to tag, so anyone is free to fill this thing out if it hits your dashboard. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Go knock yourselves out.

1) Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

Thanks to Enderal kicking my creative nuts into gear and being recently liberated from certain "game-master" obligations (long, long ass story that'd probably go over most Tumblr folks' heads, anyway), I finally started diving back into a sapphic-flavored dark fantasy book series that I'd been planning since like around 2016 or so. It was mostly born out of some frustrations with the lack of WLW in general, and while I have some WLW elements in my existing works, I wanted to write something that was more overtly WLW with a leading lady who was outgoing about her sexuality than my previous protagonists (who are either repressed as fuck or too dead to hold a relationship that would function) and wouldn't take her four dang novels to finally kiss a girl.

Anyway, Morane Soraya was created from a whole mess of complicated feelings about women in media. I describe her as a combination of Julie D'aubigny and Anne Lister, with a bit of Christina of Sweden (all of who were badass women in history. Look 'em up!). I wrote a lot about the basics of who she is/what she's all about here.

Morane is a good bean:

Book 1, Bloodtithes, will go into her venturing into a scarcely-visited icy continent to investigate a possible cure or effective treatment to the painful condition she had been forced to live with, which gives her the proficiency she has in Blood Magick (which isn't inherently evil in her world, but very often misunderstood because of its side effects). She's from a mercenary group who all share the same condition and propensity for Blood Magick, so they're interested in this so-called "cure" as well, but not many make it to this country and survive, so Morane is sent alone instead. Along the way, she meets a horned jackal-man named Darius ka Dir, and gets entangled in a plot with a strigoika named Viorica Avanas who has a whole buttload of inner demons of her own (side note: I once played Vio in Skyrim to mess around with Kaidan and they got into some... Situations).

A friend drew Darius and he has a single giant and glorious curl that he is very serious about.

I've also talked a lot about Jade for my Enderal stuff, who was already based on an existing character, and I've figured out how to work her into Morane's world. She won't factor in until Book 2, Cloverleaf, because she's essentially gonna tear down a wall and break freaking everything.

You know. Like she do.

It's still in the planning stages but I'm feeling pretty good about it.

2) Rec a book!

I just started reading Dreams of the Dying by Nicolas Lietzau, which I'm enjoying a lot, but haven't read enough yet to form a coherent recommendation on it. I just got the audiobook though so I'm looking forward to that!

Otherwise, House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski is one of my favorite novels of all time and was a major writing inspiration for me. It's creative in how it gets you to feel uneasy while you're reading the book itself, a huge mindfuck, and one of the few novels that actually made me feel a sense of dread while I was reading it.

If you'd like some seriously bonkers reading material, I'd suggest giving it a looksee.

3) Rec a fic! (outside your character tag)

Iiii don't actually read fanfiction that much, so I'm not sure if I can rec one!

On the flipside, feel free to rec me some Enderal fics (or your own, if you have any). I'll read the shit out of it.

4) Rec music!

I can't recommend Murder by Death to people enough. They're my all-time favorite band, one of the few I've ever made an effort to go see live when they were playing in my city (just before lockdown hit, no less), and deserve more love. I've been listening to them since I discovered them high school and their albums just keep getting better and better.

Also it's not hard for me to find some character-centric songs from them because the topics they write about is very versatile. I tend to think of Lost River for Jade's story, and Ditch Lilly and Rumbrave for Rey's.

5) Share one piece of advice!

Writing women! Because I guess this one needs telling as there are people who still find writing female characters daunting or somehow more difficult than it is to write men. Which, fair, I was the same way. Despite having mostly female protagonists in the novels I'd written, the dudes in my earlier stuff somehow ended up taking the spotlight and stealing most of the development. I really struggled to work through some of my own internalized misogyny and "there are no good female characters in media" mindset, and it took a lot of opening my mind up before it got easier. Now I predominately focus on writing women to be that change I want to see - this includes not killing certain ones off to enhance manpain like I used to, which I learned was called "fridging", lol.

My advice for writing them is to just write them as characters. It sounds simple and stupid, but I'm surprised how much people get wrapped up in the "she must be a strong girlboss" brainrot that they end up with a very flat, boring character that literally no one can relate to, so she still gets outshined by the dudes because the writer tried to overcompensate her badass womanliness without giving her actually compelling character traits.

I feel like one of the main reasons why I absolutely adored Ellen Ripley when I was a kid was because she was written to be a man in the first Alien movie, but they changed the character into a woman without changing the script and it just worked. I didn't know that when I was young, but finding that out just made me appreciate Ripley so much more, because the writers didn't treat her like a "strong female character" but as just a character. I think if writers approached this mindset more, we wouldn't have the "no good female characters in media issue" that doesn't need to be an issue in the first place.

These days I approach character-building by not restricting certain traits by gender, and finding a balance between strengths and weaknesses. Just shut off your critical analysis brain to create a "strong female character" and just write "strong character" instead.

I could word vomit more about my own ladies and how much I love them now than I used to but I feel like this has gone on long enough. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#tag game #writing #bloodtithes #morane soraya #darius ka dir #look at him #look at his beautiful curl #guess i can babble more about this series in the future if anyone's interested #friend's art

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

Hi!! I waited a bit to ask this bc I didn't want to overwhelm you or anything, but I've been wanting to ask about your Greatest Showman au?? Could you talk about that please :O

OMG hello!! I cannot tell you how happy I was to get this ask-

I am. ALWAYS happy to talk about my aus, please feel free to send me ANYTHING at ANY time /gen :D!!!

Greatest Showman AU!!!! Of course!! It has been a long time since I talked about this au, and there's.......different routes for the au if that makes sense.

So to start off, if it isn't clear, most of my aus are made bc of me listening to music or musical songs/film music, and this leads to this sort of thing happening-

I made this au bc I watched the film and said "what if I drew my fav ships as the different songs?"........I still have the sketches for these that I want to finish one day-

It is a mostly Edgejeanist and Ectoloader focused au!!! (with a dash of some others)

(forgive me for my lack of knowledge on terminology and also for completely forgetting everyone's names /lh)

Main AU:

So basically follows the storyline for the most part!

Ectoloader are the married couple bc what kinda au would this be if I didn't make them a married couple /lh

They had the whole Childhood Friends -> Lovers things and do Circus Things together - they own the circus

Ecto did tightrope acts and I haven't figured out pl yet tbh-

Edgeshot is a Trapeze artist.

Jeanist is the guy that gets dragged into the circus by Ecto and they have that lovely Moment(tm)

Mic is the guy who gets the crowd all worked up, Aizawa does trapeze and that ribbon-y stuff- (lord help me i do not know terminology)

Cue romance and Circus Shenanigans between everyone!

Plenty of injury moments and fantastic performing stuff!

Shinya and Tsunagu get to have their 'Rewrite the Stars' Moment!

Ecto goes away to tour with Snipe! (nothing like the musical, just goin on a lil fun trip with a friend)!! Circus goes to shit!

FIRE SCENE!!!

Jeanist runs in to save Shinya, who was already out, who now runs in to save him- Tsunagu is very hurt.

Ecto loses his legs in the accident (suggested by an anon a while back and i really loved it)

Mic gets stuck, Aizawa rescues him!

Angst and Comfort ensue!!!

Not a lot of thought apart from "this is fun to imagine the characters playing as.....the characters..from the musical..."

yeahhh

And for fun, here is the "just here for the music" route:

All pro hero characters are kinda putting on a show, and these songs are being performed by certain characters.

(i have a big hc that Jeanist, Ectoplasm and Nighteye are besties... they're called 'The Distinguished Gays'...)

So the song 'The Other Side' just went perfectly imagining Ecto convincing Jeans to join him while Nighteye tended to the bar......idk its so fun to imagine in time to the music-

Jeanist and Edgeshot perform 'rewrite the stars' bc <3

'Come alive' is Aizawa and his students

'The Greatest show' is All the teachers and their students and some of the ua alumni popping up and making appearances!

And finally 'This is me' is absolutely everyone, and they get to have their cool moments and show off themselves and idk that song makes me feel things.

I often imagine the canon universe characters acting/voice acting in musicals for fun so yeah lol

Well! I hope that makes sense!!!

Thank you SO much for asking, I genuinely got so excited to see this ask bc <3333

#tw caps #Greatest showman au #eclair's aus #ectoloader #edgejeanist #erasermic #mhm! #i am. SO happy you sent this Thank you so much :D #i get so excited to see asks in my inbox and EVEN MORE so when someone asks about my aus ty <3 #always feel free to ask about any of them i LOVE talking about them :D #damn i need to watch this again its been too long actually #also unrelated but this reminded me that the majority of this au just stems from back when i was into haikyuu and #made a small fukutora kaiyaku self indulgent au- that was... a very long time ago but i remember the drawings.......(terrible drawings LMAO #most of its recycled from that bc i dont think ill be getting back into haikyuu for a while lol #just a random memory i completely forgot about huh dfgdg #ANYWAY #i hope you like it!! (tho its kinda messy and doesnt have a lot to it) #i have so many au ideas i need to talk about

[megacarapa]

new needlepoint - i want to live here so fucking bad

this is wiehler needlepoint 2317 "es klappert die mühle am rauschenden bach" (the mill rattles by the rushing brook), which i actually just now learned is named after a german children's song - its pretty cute!

i was gonna put the process pics at the end of the rant but then the rant ended up too long so here they are at the beginning, i also added the dates each picture was taken =)

this is my first wiehler needlepoint out of 5 i got from the mentors at the embroidery workshop (originally 4 but i got another one just this week), FOR FREE, which is crazy to think about since the kits for these things arent that cheap to buy, but they gave them to me bc they were just sitting around with no one planning to actually make them

needlepoint used to be more popular over here back in ye olden days and it even used to be taught in home ec class, so both my grandmas, mom and even DAD used to make them in school, which i never knew about bc by the time i was going to school home ec classes were long gone from the curriculum, which sucks because it would have been awesome to learn stuff like this as a kid

out of the 5 kits i got, this was the smallest so i decided to do it first, the rest of them get progressively bigger and bigger until the last one which is kind of mind bogglingly huge, will i really be able to finish all of these? im honestly not sure, but i dont mind the idea of having something to work on that could take me my whole life (or like, 5 years)

these needlepoints are also different from the ones ive done up til now cause instead of the picture being printed onto the cloth, here you get an empty cloth with only counting squares printed on it and you need to follow the pattern from a paper, which i already got practice for by working on that llama cross stitch and got used to with no problem

there was one thing though, this is the only kit out of the 5 that didnt actually have the standard cloth with the squares on it (there was also some string missing, so i think the thing is that someone else had already made this kit before and what i got was the leftovers), bc of that i simply bought some new needlepoint cloth and drew the squares on myself, which led to....

honey i shrunk the needlepoint, SO YOU SEE THE THING IS, i didnt check what the squares on the cloth i did get for the other kits actually looked like, i simply assumed the squares would be normal 10x10 squares like in the picture, so thats what i drew by hand, but theyre actually supposed to be 20x20, and youre supposed to do a specific stitch called gobelin stitch where 2x2 of space is considered 1 stitch, idk if im explaining any of this well but basically if i had known this and done it correctly the finished work would have been pretty much the same size as the pattern on the picture

i know all of this now and the next needlepoint ive started since then will be the correct size, but either way i think the tiny one has its own charm and looks great anyway, its adorable!! im kind of obsessed with it, the green frame also looks great and ahh i just love it sm😭

heres the back

and size comparison with my previous ones

its a little bebe needlepoint🥺

it keeps happening that at the very end when these have finally been framed, i always notice one or two squares which i forgot to fill in, but i dont really mind it, and its fun asking people to try and find them🤣 (but dont bother trying to find them yourself bc they cant really be seen in these pictures)

i also accidentally swapped the two shades of green for the tree but the shades are so similar you literally cant see it, and i also ran out of the darkest blue shade and had to buy a new one, but couldnt find one that was similar enough, so you can actually see on most of the pics that the dark blue part to the left of the tree is a darker shade than on the right, but again, who cares, i just like jotting down as much of the process as i can remember in these posts🤣

thanks for reading!!

#click keep reading at your own risk this one is LOOOONG #but theyre fun to write lmao its like a blog post #.....wait but tumblr actually is.... a blogging platform............ *mindblown* #mine #my crafts

[chaudharis]

hey ! would YOU like to know more abt him? awesome because im gonna dump my design notes and lore notes for him here for funsies! i just wanted to make an info post for him! thank you for reading if you do!

its a bit of a long one btw, so apologies for thwt. i am very much open to ideas and suggestions for developing this little. interpretation? au? whatever you might call this. feel free to play around with him as u like hes not my oc :^] just a fun idea

DESIGN NOTES:

i want to make it clear most of the design stuff is bc i thought it was cool. then i bullshit my reasoning behind it. remember this.

i also dont know how exactly to organize this so smth more lore related might be in the design section and vise versa. i dont care enough to make this better

also design is still very subject to change because i enjoy constantly fiddling with things. fun! might update if its different enough.

uses mostly reds/purples to directly complement athetos's greens and blues. trace takes comfort in this, for the most part.

just a fun idea but i rhink its neat to have traces Not Human-ness be biological, to contrast with indras being entirely technological/robotic. adds to their parallels. (and both of them being physical at all is a parallel to hammond being fucking dead /j)

wonder why his mouth has those faint marks at the corners? because it can do this now!

why you might ask? i dont know. ask someone else. i thiught it was cool. the orange line on #3 is supposed to indicate where his mouth normally wouldve ended. so he has a wider mouth technically!

hes much more movement based now! since this also acts as a fun idea for what if in a future av game(s) we got gameplay that was even more abt the movement. so hes pretty good at parkour now. specifically climbing. ive been imagining he moves a lot like u do in celeste, except probably more stamina and faster climbing. less focus on dashing. but he can air dash too!

he has his gun i promise he has the gun i just dont like drawing it it sucks to draw

yea so he is covered in carapace, since ive had to scrap that with a different chatacter (if you know, you know) i get to put it on the same character but in a different direction. i can do whatever i want forever.

size comparison over his weird. tentacle things idk what ud call them exactly. they got bigger because i can do anything. also bc when i originally drew them i didnt look up a ref (i rarely use refs for charas and prefer to go off of memory unless i need to) and so i was like ok so thwyre big right? right. well turns out theyre not. but guess what. now they are. it is so awesome for him

for funsies i think trace can put stupid shit in his hair. its a tangled mess stuff will very easily stay in there. he hasnt brushed it in years man. he always forgets what he puts in there btw so its always a surprise for him

oh also his labcoat also is Different but i cant figure out what hed have that isnt already in av1. so imagine he does smth new WOW WOW SO COOL !

LORE NOTES:

this whole hashtag Look is either from the original bioflux mutation getting worse or a few different ones. i havent decided which one i wanna go with. either way this is a gradual change. it will get worse!

see i dont have much for What hes doing because i dont have any ideas for what the rusalki are doing now so thats very much up in the air. all i have rn is that hes helping them somehow. not of his own choice really.

has a very. Not Great relationship with the rusalki. hes incredibly bitter about his situation (lack of any real control) and so. well they arent besties. hes a lot more snarky and rude to them. which is fair i think how would you feel in a situation like that huh. not so great huh.

his best friend is oracca bc shes the only person who hasnt lied to him and has only been helpful and he loves to chill with her. she never speaks or does much of anything but thats fine with trace, he doesnt mind. likes to do the rubber duck thing with her (says thing out loud to pin point whats wrong with whatever hes working on). she also doesnt mind id like to think

hes. a little more aggressive but as a defense mechanism. hes in hostile territory all the time and under incredible stress all the time, can you blame him realky? stress can make people aggressive, it turns out. crazy.

also with this, i say hes more aggressive but hes just more all bark no bite. hes like this

but if you take like, anothwr step closer hes like this

see. hes still kind of a weenie dw. i understand

he really wants to be kinder again. but hes not in a situation where he can. this kills him

also! heavy unreality issues. this is what happens when you spend months if not years thinking ur living ur life as usual until it gets revealed actually you were in a dream simulation the whole time. unrelated but i think he hates the movie inception.

the unreality is still a massive issue but he copes with it by after so long just going "ok well ill just assume Everything is a dream no matter what because the opposite would be horrifying and i have no evidence that disproves this. but i can act like i dont think this on the off chance rhat it is real. but i know its not"

doesnt come up much at all because hes not ever around someone New but he is pretty self conscious about how he is now. i think hes also a very touch swnsory person so he develops lots of touch related tics. like when nervous he starts to pick at himself, runs hands through hair a lot, etc etc. very touchy. with the parts hes most self conscious abt.

massive identity issues, especially because of his distinct lack of humanity. how can he really be trace anymore if hes changed so much, etc etc. those questions. he can feel his connection to The Trace Identity sorta fading as he becomes his own kinda guy away from this but it fucking sucks for him. because if hes not trace then what is he. who is he. if you tell him athetos hed curl up and cry

speaking of curling up and crying, thats what hes kinda doing a lot internally. he really wants to go home man and for real this time he wont want to go back to sudra this time he promises. but also if he does go back he will be 100% convinced that isnt real. which is fair

if you ask him how long hes been there he'll tell you "a few months, i think." this is not true, he has been there for years doing somethinh, couldnt tell ya what tho!

Generally Not Doing Too Great On Many Levels But Hes Dealing With It

ok thats abt all i can think of atm? ill update this if needed. otherwise hi if you read this ur very kind and i appreciate that. it feels nice when people read my stuff. makes me feel good :^] i hope you feel good today too. today is a good day

#txt #trace #beast mode #my art #wheeeeee !!! wheeeeee

[advernia]

— godfather death. assorted post-reading notes for this post!

to no one's surprise this was SUPPOSED to be longer again LMAO but yeah!!! i was trying to limit my writing into smaller sections in order not to get so hung up on adding details....

anyway!!!! godfather death ft. viper siblings... well... the longer i thought about it, this would've been better if i placed the shroud siblings but i drew jamil on the randomizer so okay????

it's implied, but the viper parents have passed away already for this fic, around when jamil was seven years old. how old najma was then idk bc the game doesn't mention their gap LMAOOO but maybe around three or four years old tops?

actually in some renditions of the fairytale, the godchild is an only child or the youngest in the family. i was toying with the idea of najma being the godchild, but since jamil is the focus.......

now would jamil tell the whole truth about the herb + godfather appearing and stuff to najma??? well... he'd just tell her about the herb, that's all. i've wondered if other renditions of godfather death has the godchild mentioning the knowings of their treatment to others, but....

though i don't think najma wouldn't mind not being in the know as long as it doesn't harm anybody? like yeah nice herb so it heals ppl mhmmm no bad consequence on you or others? alriiight! this is probably the reason why she insisted on tagging along with jamil ever since he had healed her friend. she just wanted to make sure everything's ok (and also, just to see the herb work wonders again).

the thing about the godfather she'd really like to ask though, but if jamil's not gonna talk about it then fine.... but probably over time she decides to drop this completely bc if the herb is that powerful, then what about the person who used to hold it? maybe it was better that she didn't know and instead take things into stride. at first she was pretty skeptic about jamil's godfather like bruh u seriously had a godfather???

jamil here lives a rather ordinary life, very routine. it's no exaggeration to say that receiving the herb turned his and najma's lives upside down. they got by normally before, but as jamil slowly made use of the herb they were able to eat decently on a regular basis then eventually rake in more cash and eventually travel out of their hometown.

in some renditions of the tale, the godchild sets up a clinic themselves. here i find it more appropriate for jamil to choose traveling around healing people instead of opening a clinic himself considering his careful nature. those he heals aren't just for charity, either - he'd definitely account some benefit on the people he chooses to heal. though probably there are also those he chose to heal in order to up his reputation or to get some rumors going.

that aside, as jamil is careful, he'd prefer not many people be looking into him closely. explaining the herb to najma is one thing, but to other people... definitely not. being too renown is dangerous, and while the godfather had not mentioned any drawbacks about losing the herb or whatever, those are chances jamil would not risk.

i wanted to add a portion of najma and how she saw jamil as they traveled.... like, in normal cases, if someone had that powerful herb, they'd go around healing a lot of people as much as possible. someone like a saint, or a hero in fairytales. but the thing is, jamil is no saint, nor was he a hero. he was just... jamil. he could've done better, he could've done worse. but no, he did what he always did - be the older brother who did what he had to in order to live well.

okay now i didn't add a portion explaining the thing about death & the herb either. the if death is by the head of the patient, they could be cured but if death was by the feet they would die part. najma's last words would've made more sense if i added a portion hinting that she was getting an inkling of this. lazy me would say that its implied stuff or she gets to learn about it bc jamil tells her, but yeah. kinda regret not placing that there.

if i'd add that portion, it would probably go around the lines of najma wondering why sometimes, whenever jamil would visit a patient, he'd look at the person from head to toe then nod. well. it's not actually an odd thing to do, but eventually najma gets the feeling that jamil is nodding at someone. someone who is not the patient. thus she says her end line at the last scene: has your godfather come to visit me, too?

big question! would jamil trick his godfather to save najma just like the fairytale??? WELL! if u want an honest answer out of me i'd say no but the sap in me says yes what a pickle lmaoooo real reason why i left this hanging.........

........ the godfather i had in mind was sam but yeaaaah i think crowley would also fit here idk ksksksksksks

#rundown.txt

[doesyourshipmakeyouabadperson]

hay, this is more me looking for advice, but how do i stop lying to my followers about being proship? there was one point where i drew fontcest (undretale), and i got an anti who harassed me in ask, and sent me a graphic description of their brother killing their hamster. ever since i've been very weary of saying anything, or confirming i ship something cuz i don't want to read something like that again. that, and in general, i don't ship things too hard/go all in with it, at least 1/?

2/? i don't think i do. granted, i draw a bunch of art and post it, but for me that's just general hyperfixation. i'm also ace, and while yes, most ships are romantic or sexual, mine tend to be platonic, or suggestive. and are not as clear cut as to if i ship the characters or not, because even for me, it's up in the air, and i don't know, i'm not good with knowing how i feel about things, i just express myself through art and hope it says all it needs to. i've come up with a sorta tagging

3/4 tagging system, with tags for platonic ships, joke ships, etc, but even then sometimes how i view the relationship changes. like right now, i'm drawing a child and adult character together, most of the time the dynamic i portray is paternal, but other times i want to make it romantic, either as a cope for my own truama, or just because it's been my brain rot for weeks and i want it out of my head to get back to the "clean stuff" and just not post for a while. idk, maybe this is

4/? is all overly complicated, and i've made a mess for myself, but i feel like at this point i've tricked ppl into following or liking my work. because ppl do like my work, and then they send ask like "your art's now tainted for me", but i've been this way since 2016, i've just been scared of getting disturbing irl hamster gore stories again. or i've been told "fuck you for normalizing this", "don't hc this character as a murder pedo", "this feels like grooming", "you know your audience"

5/5 like i don't, idk how old anyone is who follows me, idk if there's children looking at my content. and i can't just make a poll, or check the thousands of followers i have to see if they have their age in their bio, i can't fucking ask for an id before following, i just. idk, this was very long and ranty, i'm sorry, i just don't want to remake my blog again, maybe i'm just dumb and anxious, i don't know. srry this was long, hope you're doin ok (^.^)v

Hello, I delayed answering this for a while since, well, i'm definitely not usually the person people go to for advice so im not used to it lol ❤ /nm

Buuut i mean... I can see why youre upset. I dont think you should have to come out and say you're proship. Being an anti shouldn't be seen as the default. You should also be able to make whatever kind of content you want as long as you tag it properly. If your fanbase is making you feel like you can't, then that fanbase isn't your demographic.

There are actually a lot of decent people out here who are pro ship, and if you choose to be openly pro ship, yes you will get some hate mail, death threats, suibait etc and lose followers, but you will also gain a lot of fans who want to see your interesting takes on different interpersonal dynamics. (Also, the former group weren't really your fans in the first place if they'll be so godawful to you over some pixels on a screen)

And yes it is impossible to police thousands of followers and that quite literally is not supposed to be up to you. Minors on the internet are supposed to be monitored by their guardians. If you put a disclaimer/tag for your content and some dumbass clicks it anyway and doesn't like what they see, that's their fault not yours.

I've also noticed that the majority of people who are pro ship are prone to actually filtering content they don't like, while antis seem entitled and want the creator to do it for them. Its just a better fanbase experience all around in my experience.

As someone who helps run multiple pro ship accs, i understand the visibility can be scary. But I promise at the end of the day you'll feel a lot better for it. Hope this is at least semi-helpful/reassuring idk ❤

#long post #lovely anon ❤ #advice from a dragmonster #tw animal death #tw harrassment #tw grooming mention #not an affirmation

[the-forest-breathez]

DOODLE DUMP BECAUSE I HAVE NOT ACTUALLY DRAWN ANY ACTUAL ART PIECES IN A WHILE :D

These ⬇️ were over the span of about a week, and I finished it just a day or 2 ago !!

I drew these ⬇️ last month in aprilll?? I think?

I kinda just worked on it whenever I didn't have any other inspiration which is why there isn't too much

I also want to rant about these and the process n stuff a little bit so I am going to :)

Making the first one I started redrawing old stuff from a sketchbook (the person in the pretty dress, person in the sweater), and then I got distracted watching qsmp vods and drew Dapper and Juanaflipa!!

It was the first time I drew them not as eggs (so they might look totally different next time I draw them sorryyy) and it was super fun !!!! Im working on drawing all the qsmp eggs but it's not gonna be done for a bit since I am also not caught up on whats going on

the last stream I saw was a few days after the Brazilian members crashed and now I hear of France?? Idk but I'll prob try to catch up this week and finish the drawing soon :)

Also all the nature !!!! Literally my favorite thing to draw ever. I could just sit by a plant and draw it and never get bored

Sadly there are not many plants near my house so I might just have to go into the woods and look for cool plants to draw this summer heheheee oh nooo if it's the only way I guess... I just have no other option than going into the awesome woods with the nature and no other people and loud music in my headphones 😔 /sar Im so excited ajauvsv

THAT WASNT EVEN ABOUT THE PROJECT SORRY I always get distracted and ramble when talking about art (I am not going to stop doing this though its so fun!!)

Nowww about the project art,

Short version, these little sillies are being included because when I actually start the project in a few years I wanna look back on this and see how my art improved and how the story changed!

LONG VERSION...

"the project" as I've been calling it, is a goal of mine in life to create something emotional and meaningful that matters to people and can maybe help someone feel less alone :)

It is not that right now though ! At the moment it's just an idea since I don't really have the resources or skills to make it the way I would want to, but these sketches and stuff help me keep track of the idea while I get ready to make the thing

I have some papers with project stuff that I might post if anyone seems really interested in the project as it is right now (they are messy and hard to understand so I don't currently plan on uploading them anywhere)but if not I will likely just keep quietly working on it :3 and I'm definitely gonna change up a few things !! Some things on that page may not even make it into the actual project 👁️👁️

That's all I have until I draw more ! :P (also if you read all that you r automatically very cool and nice and you get 🪲 🐛🐜🐞 bugs :) /pos bug s good)

BYEEE :D

#art #drawing #traditional art

[catboydan]

tell me what the video Basically, I’m Gay means to you?

I think it’d be easier to list all the things it doesn’t mean to me than the things it does lmao

but fr, BIG was the video that got me here in the first place. I remember seeing it and all the hype—I knew who dnp were at the time, but all I’d be able to tell you at the time was it was a pretty big deal he was coming out. BIG is so well-written, well-presented, it drew me in right away. I clicked for the fact that a lot of people were talking about it; I came out of it wanting more.

So I got more. So I started with Dan’s vids, especially stuff similar to BIG like Trying to Live My Truth, and was pretty much hooked right away. Didn’t take long to end up on Phil’s channel too, +dnpg. Consumed it all like mad.

So I logged into my old unused tumblr for the first time in maybe 6 or 7 years and started following. That action alone has done me so so much good.

When BIG came out I was 20. I was knee-deep in the “trying to figure out who I am” shit. More specifically, I was trying desperately to ditch the younger version of myself, the fucking redditor since I was like 10, surrounded by misogyny, who “wasn’t like other girls” (even if I’d never say it aloud). I was trying to allow myself to be a woman in a world that despises and mocks anything woman-centric. I was coming out of a lifelong depression for the first time after a decade of almost total apathy, and frankly, I was learning how to handle emotions again.

BIG kicked me in the stomach. In a good way. I cried. I didn’t know this man and I cried. It helped me realize that I love learning about other peoples’ experiences, ones that I may never have, and how wonderful it is to be able to share our lives with the world in this way and learn about each other’s unique perspectives. I especially love (and relate to) the way Dan explains things so meticulously. I was rediscovering passion after having lost it for so long; BIG helped bring some of it back to me.

I got into the phandom here, something teenage me would have absolutely cringed at myself for. Even though I’d never dare judge anyone here for liking what they like, I didn’t know how to give myself that same grace. After what, five? years here, now I’ve finally been able to allow myself to enjoy what I like. The amazing community I’ve found myself in has been such a catalyst for this, and I’d never have gotten here without BIG.

So yeah. BIG’s pretty good. I used to watch it every day at work while prepping Pizza Hut pastas. I used to watch it as I tried to stave off a depressive episode, sitting in the bath eating candy, desperate for any happiness at all, before I got my ADHD diagnosis and meds. It never failed to make me laugh too cuz frankly, its funny moments are great. That bit where he looks at the tag of his jacket and it says HIGHLY FLAMMABLE gets me every single time. I live for dinof-related jokes. (And tbh, as aforementioned, being on reddit for so long, seeing shitty watercolour come so far puts a smile on my face too.)

idk. This is rambly and I’m not sure if I got everything across, but that’s because I kind of love that video so much it’s hard to contain it in one little post. Thanks for the ask, anon (and possibly the other asks recently too, if you’re the same anon) :)

#val comes out of hiding #anon #ask #Basically I’m gay #basically im a better person because if the video and the chain of events after #the phandom also got me reading fic for the first time which is was so associated with cringey teenage girls to me as a teenager #I’d NEVER have let myself do something so looked down upon by the society around me yknow? #like I was not proud to be a girl. at all #so if you’re a woman in the phandom I kind of love you btw. for helping me be me 👉👈