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#and it cuts to Cary like ‘I look forward to working with them again :}’
fredbydawn · 4 months
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I love how the ‘making of’ documentary will have have people being like “yeah everything was cool and great” and then just cut to Cary’s descent into madness
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granny-griffin · 3 years
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Hi guys! This post has content warnings for the following: suicide, incest, abortion, politics, and swearing. I've tagged this post for all of the above, so you should add one or all of them to your blocked tags if you don't want to see it. Stay safe friends!
@arists started a conversation with me on this post. I'm making my own post now so that I don't clog up op's notifications with our discussion. I'll post the relevant screenshots here, but I'm including the link so that you can fact check what happened if you want.
#1 (op's post)
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Image Description: "A screenshot of a twitter thread. Sarah Chavez writes, 'It's not hard to see what a pro-life world looks like. It looks like a world with a lot of dead women in it." An article is linked, but the url is cut off. Emily Gould replies to the first tweet, saying, '"Amnesty International reports that suicide now accounts for 57 percent of deaths of pregnant femals ages 10-19 in El Salvador." That's what a "culture of life" looks like.'"
#2 (in the notes of op's post)
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Image Description: "granny-griffin replies, 'This. Suicide is an evil we have to prevent. But murder is NEVER the answer. I'm not sure how it even became a viable option. We need a better solution.'"
(note that there is a significant time gap between images #2 and #3)
#3
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Image Description: "arists replies, '@granny-griffin the only other "solution" is mandatory vasectomies on males but good luck telling men what you want to force onto their bodies. ntm abortion at 6 weeks isn't fucking murder but science doesn't fucking matter to you.' Then granny-griffin replies, '@arists if you want to start a conversation, then I'm happy to talk! you can dm me or whatever! But if you're just angry, then I'm glad you found an outlet and I hope you feel better soon'"
#4
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Image Description: "arists replies, '@granny-griffin go start a conversation with the women of texas' Then granny-griffin replies, '@arists I mean. I am a woman living in texas so that should be pretty easy. I'll try to do that sometime soon! It's always helpful to me to hear other people's perspectives on important issues'"
#5
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Image Description: "arists replies '@granny-griffin so you're a traitor then? when you see little girls being forced to birth a product of incest you feel better about yourself? you see women who have a dead baby in their body forced to cary to full at the risk of her life and think "nice job me!!" And you've probably never adopted with makes it even funnier. youre an embodiment ignorance and selfishness.'"
#6 (private message between arists and granny-griffin)
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Image Description: "granny-griffin says, 'hey I really. don't want to fight you. I know that you're upset. I think we both want to help women in vulnerable situations, we just have different ideas of how that should work out practically.' In a second text, granny-griffin continues, 'If you need to keep venting, you should do it here. That way if you say something you might regret, it won't be in public'"
#7
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Image Description: "arists sends three messages. The first one says, 'I'm not venting I'm saying it how it is' The second one says, 'I've dealt with ill-minded christians like you my entire life I know your strategy' The third one says, 'now go back to the post because I refuse to deal with you behind doors so you can appear "holier than thou" by putting on a fake image'"
#8
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Image Description: "granny-griffin sends seven messages. The first one says, 'ok we can do this in public' The second one says 'give me until tonight though I've got school' The third one says 'do you care if I make a separate post? I'll copy all the previous stuff from our conversation and the main post' The fourth one says, 'I just don't want to have a whole conversation on op's thread' The fifth one says, 'it would feel disrespectful almost?' The sixth one says, 'like they have their whole point and I don't want to completely de-rail them' The seventh one says, 'but if you aren't cool with moving them then I can come to wherever is comfortable to you'"
#9
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Image Description: "arists says, 'go ahead'"
to preface—airsts I'm still not totally sure what you want out of this. You aren't obligated to respond to anything I say—just like I'm not obligated to respond to you. We don't know each other, and this is kind of an unfortunate way for us to meet. Still, I hope we can have a productive conversation going forward. I'll go through everything and ask questions. You can respond to as many or as few of them as you want.
#3:
The only other solution to what—suicide? unwanted pregnancy? incest? Is that really the only other solution? What are some policies you would like to see implemented to deal with each of these?
How do you define murder? How do you define what a human life is? Are there particular scientific facts or theories you make use of in your definition? If you have time, please either explain them, or reference an article/book/other source that does. I would like to learn! But I understand that fact checking is a lot of work so if you're too busy I understand.
#4:
(A note here—my knowledge of the situation is not as thorough as I would like it to be, but from what I know I'm not satisfied with the way abortion restrictions are being implemented in Texas. What are we doing—reporting each other to the secret police or something? Notifying the authorities of a crime is one thing, but why is there a finder's fee? Why are we sueing each other? This kind of thing will only breed corruption and mistrust.)
#5:
Huh, what am I a traitor to? Women? Is there a point of view that is specifically the "pro-women" point of view? Traitor makes this sound like a war—are there sides? are there good and bad guys? Who gets to define all of this?
No, I don't like it when girls are forced to birth a child conceived in incest. What are some ways that this situation could be prevented? Do you think that easy abortion access could ever perpetuate abuse by allowing abusers to get rid of the evidence of their actions? Is providing abortion services to victims of incest worth this risk? (and I mean that as a legitimate question, not a leading question)
(Another note here—I am pretty sure children who die in the womb can still be born naturally (hence the term "still-born"). But again, my knowledge here is limited and my issue with abortion is largely because of the harm it does to the child. If the child is dead already, and abortion is the only way to remove them, then I don't have a problem with this.)
Do you think adoption is the only way to take care of vulnerable children? Did you know that people who adopt sometimes need help raising funds to do so, or need help with babysitting, or need meals made and chores done for them? Did you know that mothers who raise their own children need these things too? Is this an attack on my argument, or an attack on me (ad hominem)?
#7
Sorry to assume you were venting—I should have asked what your purpose was instead of making assumptions.
Okay but do please tell me—what is my strategy? I am curious to hear your psychoanalysis of me and my goals.
Arists, I'm really sorry if I came off as "holier than thou." I'm not a better person than you. I know that I think I'm right—everybody does. But I do want to be open to hearing and learning from your perspective. Even if you don't change my mind, you can increase my empathy, and that's extremely valuable to me.
okay, that’s it! I’ll wait for your response!
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kpopimaginings · 3 years
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SuJu Reaction: S/O can’t get hold of them and panics
A/N: So, this is my first reaction post, so big thanks to the anon who requested it. I may have got a little carried away, so some of these are kinda long for a reaction, but I was having fun. Hope you all enjoy.
I’m putting this all under a cut because TRIGGER WARNING: depression, suicide, anxiety and panic attacks. I promise they are actually fluffy and cute in the end.
Prologue: Super Junior were incredibly busy preparing for a comeback, and you knew your boyfriend was stressed and drained, worrying about making sure everything was perfect for the fans. The trouble was, you knew all too well how quickly that could lead to conditions like anxiety and depression, and, in the case of your best friend, suicide. You’d lost them when you were a teenager and as hard as you tried to move on the trauma of the loss was still something you caried with you. This is why you found yourself texting your boyfriend regularly, just making sure that he was ok and he and his members were looking after themselves. But when three texts in a row and a phone call went unanswered you found yourself starting to panic and desperately needed some sort of confirmation that he was ok, and most importantly alive.
Leeteuk
When you burst into the studio that evening, Leeteuk was the only one still there, but honestly you were grateful for it. When you saw him you were torn between relief that he was fine and anger over being ignored.
“Where are the others? And more importantly why weren’t you answering me?”
“Hey, babe,” said Leeteuk, looking over to you as you spoke. “I sent them home, we’ve been really busy, I thought they could do with a rest. I’ve just been finishing up, I didn’t mean to ignore you.”
“For once, can you please worry about yourself as much as you do other people? I’ve been going crazy, knowing how stressed you’ve been, knowing you probably aren’t taking proper care of yourself, and then you don’t answer me and… Teuk, anything could have happened to you.”
As you poured out your feelings you felt the tears you’d been fighting back starting to surface and Leeteuk suddenly realised what was happening. You’d opened up to him before about what had happened in your past and he was cursing himself for putting you through this.
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” he said rushing to take you in his arms. “I’m here with you now, see? Everything’s ok. I’m ok.”
He ran a soothing hand through your hair as you tried to calm down. “How about I take you home and we cook a nice nutritional meal together, yeah?”
You nodded, as he cupped your face in his hands and wiped your tears away with his thumbs.
 Heechul
The moment you walked into the studio, Heechul appeared by your side, despite the fact that he was definitely meant to be helping with recording.
“Hi, gorgeous,” he greeted, giving you a quick kiss. “Are you ok?”
“I’ve sent you three texts, and tried to call you, and I haven’t heard from you at all,” you told him, stoically.
Heechul’s eyes grew wide as he realised what he’d done.
“No, I’m sorry. I’ve been recording, I should have warned you I wouldn’t be able to reply much today.”
“Heechul!” came a sudden shout from Shindong, “You live with her, you’ll see plenty of her later, we need you!”
“So does Y/n,” Heechul shouted back.
“You are so whipped,” Shindong muttered, before raising his voice again, “You were literally in the middle of something.”
Heechul grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the room, ignoring his members completely.
“What do you need?” he asked you.
You smiled softly. “I needed to know you were ok.”
“I am, I promise.”
“Ok, don’t work too hard,” you smiled, turning to leave.
Heechul caught your hand again before you could get too far away.
“I know you don’t think you’re leaving without kissing me goodbye.”
You rolled your eyes, but gave him a kiss all same.
“Shindong’s right, you are whipped,” you laughed.
“No, I just love you,” Heechul replied. “A lot. Are you sure you’ll be ok?”
“I’m sure, just come straight home when you’re done?”
“Why wouldn’t I if I know you’re there waiting for me?”
Yesung
You and Yesung had always been very open with each other, so you knew how hard he was on himself and he knew what had happened with your friend. This made the fact that you haven’t heard from him even more worrying.
You snuck into their rehearsal space, not wanting to interrupt but needing to see him and know he was ok. Eunhyuk spotted you and nudged his hyung, pointing in your direction.
Yesung ran over to you, giving you a quick peck on the cheek.
“Are you ok?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”
When you told him he’s missed your texts and call, he knew exactly where your mind had gone.
“Oh no, baby, I’m so sorry,” he told you, looking even more distraught than you. “We’ve been so busy and I’m so stressed about all this and I’m just trying to make this comeback the best yet. I’m sorry I’ve been so distracted. I can’t imagine what I’ve put you through.”
Before you knew what was happening, Yesung was crying.
“I just needed to know you were ok,” you told him pulling him into a hug. “I wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard, then I wouldn’t worry as much. The fans love you no matter what.”
“I know,” he sniffled. “But they’ve supported us for so long now they deserve so much.”
“I guarantee they feel the same way about you, too,” you told him.
At that point Leeteuk came over, Yesung still in your embrace.
“I think you should take him home,” Leeteuk told you.
“I’m fine,” said Yesung, quickly straightening and trying to tidy himself up. “We haven’t finished yet.”
“Well, I’m the leader, and I’ve decided you’ve finished.”
“Thank you,” you told Leeteuk, when Yesung gave up and gathered his things.
“I think you both need it, just relax together,” he advised.
You couldn’t argue with that, as you and your boyfriend headed home for a nice quiet afternoon.
Shindong
You burst into the room where Super Junior were rehearsing to find them all healthy and staring at you.
"Y/n?" said your boyfriend, stepping forward. "What happened? Are you ok?"
"If you could actually answer my texts and calls, I would be," you snapped.
Shindong headed over to his discarded jacket and pulled his phone from the pocket.
“Three missed texts and you’re acting like the worlds going to end?” he quipped, seeing his notifications.
“Mine could!” you shouted.
You thought you'd calm down once you knew he was ok, but his blasé manner was only distressing you more.
“What?” asked Shindong, thoroughly confused.
You grabbed his hand and quickly dragged him away from the rest of group. Once out of their earshot, you began telling him what had happened in your past, and by the end you were sobbing.
“I can’t lose you too,” you cried, and Shindong wrapped you in his embrace.
“Sweetie, I had no idea,” he said, soft boyfriend mode engaged. “I’m so sorry you suffered through that. But thank you for being brave enough to tell me. I can take special care to stay in touch now, alright?”
“Thank you,” you told him sniffing as the tears started to die down. "I just worry. You get so stressed trying to make everything perfect, and I don't want it to all get too much for you."
"I promise I will never get that stressed," he assured you, still holding you tight. "Especially knowing I have you looking out for me."
Eunhyuk
When you walked into the dance studio and saw Eunhyuk alive and well, you breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing that he knew about your past, you knew he’d have a good excuse.
Once he’d finished talking to the guys, he jogged over to you.
“Hey, jagi,” he greeted. “What are you doing here?”
“You weren’t replying to me,” you told him. “I had to make sure you were ok.”
His face fell, realising what your words implied. He tried not to make too big of a deal or overreact because he knew you wouldn’t want to make a scene. It was a private matter and not something the other guys needed to be privy to.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I’ve been trying to help Leeteuk keep an eye on everyone and get the dance moves down. You know how much Leeteuk stresses.”
You smiled. “I know. But I know you’ve been stressed too. Don’t overdo it, please. I quite like having you for a boyfriend.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” he told you with a hug. “Now why don’t you go home, and I’ll come by after practice and you can help me destress,” he winked.
You rolled your eyes. “It’s a good job I love you, Lee Hyukjae.”
“I’m a lucky man,” he replied, giving you a quick kiss, before returning to his work.
Donghae
You marched into the studio and straight up to your boyfriend.
“Have you not checked your phone?” you asked immediately, not even saying hello first.
As much as you were pleased to find him ok, you were a little annoyed to find him laughing and joking with his members, instead of actually working. You would have been more understanding if he’d not seen your call because he was busy preparing for the comeback.
“Yes, why?” he asked. Knowing full well that he had three texts and a missed call from you.
“I’ve been trying to get hold of you.”
“I know.”
You snapped at that point. “You know? What do you mean you know? If you know you should answer! Or is this your way of trying to dump me, because I swear Donghae, if you knew… What if…” you trailed off as your anger gave way to tears and Donghae quickly wrapped his arms around you to comfort you.
“It was a prank,” he told you. “I wanted to see how you’d react. I didn’t expect it to end like this.”
“I thought you’d died,” you squeaked.
“What?” he asked in surprise. “Why would you think that? What’s going on?”
You shook your head.
“Babe, I’m sorry that I’ve upset you it was never my intention. But I need you to tell me what’s wrong so that I can fix it and make sure it never happens again.”
You gestured to the rest of the guys, some of whom were clearly listening in, and Donghae got your meaning, pulling you out of the room. Once free from his nosy members, he gave you an expectant look.
You quickly recounted the bare minimum of what he needed to know.
“I never meant to scare you,” he said softly.
“I know, I’m sorry I yelled.”
“No it’s fine, of course you shouted at me. I promise it won’t happen again. There may be a delay in my replying if I’m halfway through something, but I won’t knowingly ignore you.”
“Thank you for understanding,” you told him, before he pulled you in for another hug.
Siwon
When you finally tracked Siwon down you found him talking to someone on his phone. You walked over to him and weakly slapped his arm.
“I’ve got to go, thank you so much,” he said to whoever was on the other end of the phone before hanging up. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
“You’re on your phone,” you pointed out in a more aggressive tone than you had intended.
“Yes, I was,” Siwon confirmed, very confused.
“So, you’ve seen my messages and you’re just choosing to ignore me?”
“No, no, I’m not ignoring you, I’m just… busy.”
“Not too busy to take other people’s calls.”
“I was busy because I was making the call,” he tried to explain. “I didn’t realise you needed an urgent reply. Is there something else going on?”
Having seen your texts, Siwon had assumed you were just checking in and couldn’t work out why it was such a big deal that he hadn’t replied straight away.
“No, you first, what are you hiding?” you asked, crossing your arms defensively.
Siwon hesitated, making it clear there was something he wasn’t telling you. “I’m actually planning a surprise for you,” he admitted with a sigh. “I realise being an idol in the middle of a comeback makes me a rather lousy boyfriend and I wanted to make up for it.”
“Oh,” you said softly. “I’m not good with surprises,” you mumbled.
Siwon just stepped closer to you, seeing that you had now calmed down. “It’s not going to be anything over the top, and it only involves the two of us. I know you aren’t a big fan of too much attention,” he explained. “Now, can you tell me why you were so upset?” he asked you, gently rubbing his thumb along your cheekbone.
You nodded and quickly explained that you had panicked and why. “Can you tell me what you are planning?” you added with a slight pout.
Siwon sighed. “Will it make you feel better?”
“Yes,” you nodded.
“Tomorrow evening, I’m taking you out to dinner,” he told you. “I’ve bought out the whole restaurant for the night, so it will literally be just us. It’s an excuse to get a bit dressed up, which we haven’t done for a while, and you won’t have to worry about staring.”
With a small smile, you looked up at him with tears forming in your eyes. “That’s a really lovely surprise,” you told him.
He pulled you into his arms, holding you tight. “You’re really special to me, and I want you to know that. Whenever I picture a future, you’re in it, so I’m really pleased you’ve opened up to me today. Now I can make sure not to worry you again.”
Ryeowook
When you arrived at the practice room, hoping you’d find you boyfriend well and rehearsing, even though you worried you wouldn’t, your worry just took on a whole new form.
Ryeowook was sat watching the rehearsal with his leg raised and an ice pack on his ankle. Completely forgetting that you were probably interrupting you rushed over to him.
“Wook, what happened?”
“Hey,” he said in a surprised tone when he noticed you. “I just twisted my ankle while dancing. What are you doing here?”
“I’ve been trying to get hold of you. You weren’t answering so I panicked,” you told him.
He knew what you meant straight away.
“Ah, my phone is over there with all my stuff,” he said pointing. “I’m not ignoring you, I always try to respond, and I’m sorry I couldn’t get to my phone.”
“I know, it’s ok, you’re injured,” you assured him. “At least my panic wasn’t totally uncalled for though.”
He smiled at you in a comforting manner before turning to his members.
“Guys, do we think y/n could stay with me while I watch the choreography?” he asked.
“That’s not a bad idea,” agreed Leeteuk. “Stops me worrying about you as much.”
You laughed slightly, before quickly pulling another chair over to where your boyfriend was sat and taking his hand in yours.
“And now you’ll worry less because you know I’m right here,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze.
“Thank you,” you said softly, pleased your boyfriend could support you through moments like this.
“You’re welcome,” he replied. “And thank you for caring enough about me to worry.”
Kyuhyun
You had assumed the guys were doing dance rehearsals, so when you arrived at their usual studio only to find it empty, your panic increased. You pulled out your phone, trying Kyuhyun again. You cursed multiple time times listening to the ring before hanging up at his voicemail message.
Out of desperation you pulled up your contacts to call one of the other guys, which ended up being Donghae.
“Y/n?” he answered immediately.
“Thank god,” you sighed in relief at managing to get hold of someone. “Is Kyuhyun with you?”
Donghae laughed slightly, “Yeah, has the idiot not taken his phone off silent?”
“I can’t get hold of him.”
Donghae quickly passed his phone to Kyuhyun, sensing you weren’t in the mood for a general chat with him.
“Kyuhyun! I have been trying to get hold of you all morning. What the hell is going on?” you yelled as soon as you heard him on the other end.
“Calm down, we’ve been in meetings all morning, so my phones been on silent, and now we’re grabbing lunch before a quick practice and then schedules,” he explained. “What’s so important?”
“Nothing. I mean, it’s not- I-,” you could feel yourself suddenly struggling for breath.
“Ok, it’s clearly not nothing,” your boyfriend said, recognising the signs of your panic attack even over the phone. “Where are you?”
“Dance studio,” you just about managed to tell him.
“I’m only two roads over, I’ll be right there, just keep breathing.”
With that Kyuhyun hung up, giving Donghae his phone back and rushing out of the restaurant.
By the time  he reached you you had calmed down slightly, just telling yourself over and over that he was fine, and he was alive.
“Can I touch you?” he asked, as soon as he reached you, knowing that physical contact didn’t always help when you were in this state.
You nodded giving him permission to pull you into a tight hug.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t get your messages. Do you want to tell me brought this on?”
“I thought,” your voice shook as you spoke. “I thought, maybe, I’d lost you.”
“Lost me?” he asked.
You did your best to recount losing your best friend and Kyuhyun just held you tighter.
“I wish you’d told me sooner,” he sighed. “We’ve all lost people, I understand.”
After a moments silence between you, he spoke again. “Are you hungry?”
You nodded.
“I didn’t finish my meal either,” he told you. “Let’s go eat together, and I’ll let Leeteuk know I’ll catch up with them at schedules.”
“No, you can’t. Your work,” you protested.
“Right now, you are more important than practice. I’ve done the important boring meetings, and I’ll be there later for the recordings, they can rehearsals do without me for a couple of hours.”
You finally smiled then, holding him a little tighter, before pulling away and letting him lead you to your favourite restaurant for lunch.
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NAVIGATION  |  SUPER JUNIOR MASTERLIST
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aliveandfullofjoy · 3 years
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It’s the first day of 2021, which calls (yet again!) for my ten favorite new-to-me movies I watched in 2020!
The rules are the same as always: no movies from this past year (2020) or the year before (2019). Every other year is free game.
All ten of these movies are fascinating and beautiful and well worth your time, so consider this a strong endorsement for all of them. I’ve also included ways to watch all of the films (as of this writing, Jan. 1, 2021). 
01. Two for the Road (dir. Stanley Donen, 1967; USA) Donen takes the ideas of romantic cinema and celebrates it while injecting a healthy dose of painful reality. He chooses two of the English language's most attractive movie stars, Albert Finney (in full himbo mode!) and Audrey Hepburn, and follows their ten-year marriage as seen on their various road trips across Europe. It's a memory piece more than anything else, but the arc of their relationship is clear and their palpable connection burns through the screen. These are two beautiful, intelligent adults who love each other deeply, who are still physically attracted to each other, who are able to hurl verbal jabs and insults at each other with the best of them. Finney is magnificent, but Hepburn sort of steals the show. In what is probably her finest onscreen performance, she gets to grow from a virginal bride to a fully fleshed out adult, living beautifully in different shades of sexy and goofy and bitter. They make a screen couple for the ages. The script is funny without losing its honesty, it's tragic without leaning too far into artifice, it's romantic without being treacly. It's a remarkable balancing act and makes for a masterpiece. (Two for the Road is available to rent online or viewed at this link.)
02. Stop Making Sense (dir. Jonathan Demme, 1984; USA) Stop Making Sense feels like a miracle. It hints at a narrative arc, but that part is unimportant. It’s a live performance recorded and packaged specifically for consumption as a film. In its brief runtime, it becomes a living, breathing, sweating testament to David Byrne’s skill as a performer, as a songwriter, as a storyteller, and to the remarkable talents of everyone in Talking Heads. It’s a breathtakingly joyous experience. I can’t remember the last time I watched a recording of a live performance that captured the same brand of energy, of buoyancy, that you feel as you’re leaving a great communal experience. This is a masterpiece that proclaims as loudly as possible that there is no joy greater than making art with people you love. (Stop Making Sense is currently streaming on Amazon Prime.)
03. Scattered Clouds (dir. Mikio Naruse, 1967; Japan) Filled to the brim with unspoken turmoil and emotional devastation, Naruse's final film chronicles the rough terrain of a relationship between a widow and the man responsible for her husband's death. Spanning years and exploring just how deeply these wounds can go, much of the Scattered Cloud’s success rests on the performances from Yuzo Kayama and Yoko Tsukasa. Kayama is a handsome, likable screen presence who beautifully lives in his own cloud of grief. Tsukasa gets a bit more to chew on, as this really is her story: her arc and her inability to move forward, despite the best intentions, is one of the film's most lasting ideas. Brutally sad but incredibly beautiful. The work of a master filmmaker. (Scattered Clouds is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.)
04. L’Atalante (dir. Jean Vigo, 1934; France) My only regret with L’Atalante is that I didn’t see it sooner. The final (and only feature-length) film from Jean Vigo before his untimely death at 29, this film is a technical marvel and a humanist miracle. Featuring spirited performances from Dita Parlo, Jean Dasté, and the great character actor Michel Simon, and intoxicating dreamlike imagery, as well as a relentlessly romantic score from Maurice Jaubert, this film looks and feels like no other film from its era. (L’Atalante is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.)
05. Daisies (dir. Věra Chytilová, 1966; Czechoslovakia) Věra Chytilová's iconic masterpiece of anarchic cinema more than lives up to its reputation. Operating on its own chaotic wavelength, Daisies follows the exploits of Marie I (Jitka Cerhová) and Marie II (Ivana Karbanová) who seek to spoil themselves after realizing how spoiled the world is. They begin to live extravagantly and rip off older men and cause general mischief. Over less than 80 minutes, Daisies upends a whole slew of cultural norms. Beautiful, ambiguous, funny, cynical, and truly visionary. (Daisies is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel and HBO Max.)
06. The Hero (dir. Satyajit Ray, 1966; India) The Hero sort of feels like Satyajit Ray's answer to 8½ in its meditation of fame and regret. Uttam Kumar is fantastic as Arindam Mukherjee, a superstar actor who works through his career and his loss of values in an interview with a reporter played by Sharmila Tagore, who is also fantastic. Under Ray's sleek direction, gracefully opening up the world of the train, and with his intelligent and human script, the cast uniformly sinks their teeth into this film. Kumar is the MVP out of necessity -- without him, the whole film would fall apart -- but the whole ensemble is remarkable, peppering the background of the train scenes and in Arindam's flashbacks. This also has one of the all-time great nightmare sequences. Easily one of the master director’s best films. (The Hero is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.)
07. Malcolm X (dir. Spike Lee, 1992; USA) Malcolm X is a truly massive film housing an even bigger performance from the great Denzel Washington. Tracing Malcolm X’s life and career while juggling numerous tones and visual styles and spanning across decades and continents, this is surely Spike Lee’s most ambitious film up to this point in his career. Washington is onscreen for virtually all of its long runtime, from the early exuberant days before his imprisonment all the way up to that fateful day in the Audubon Ballroom, and he is, of course, tremendous. All that classic Denzel charisma and magnetism is on full display, whether in his impassioned speeches or in his more intimate scenes. Lee’s direction is top notch, making this full story about a life with an incalculably profound impact feel richly and deeply intimate. This is one of the essential American epics. (Malcolm X is available to rent online.)
08. Beau Travail (dir. Claire Denis, 1999; France) Beau Travail’s place in the modern canon of world cinema is assured, and Denis is rightfully seen as a master, but it really can’t be overstated just how much of a gem this film is. Pepper with sparse dialogue (though always packed with meaning), the film lives in one of two modes: muscular, suntanned men doing slow, precise choreographed exercises in the heat of the day and those same muscular men dancing and gyrating with attractive young women in some ethereal nightclub. Between these poles lies Denis’ almost cosmic meditation on masculine ego, homoerotic obsession, and regret. A fascinating, enigmatic, devastating beauty. (Beau Travail is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.)
09. Only Angels Have Wings (dir. Howard Hawks, 1939; USA) Only Angels Have Wings might be Howard Hawks' crowning directorial achievement. The aerial work, the rainy nights, the beautiful atmosphere of the bars, the palpable camaraderie of the characters, the tragic loss of life and yet the persistence to move forward. Cary Grant leads a terrific cast, including a quietly moving Richard Barthelmess and a rarely-more-likable Thomas Mitchell, and his chemistry with both Jean Arthur (the most charming) and Rita Hayworth is a joy to watch. This film seems to dabble in multiple genres at once, subverting the cliches of the Hollywood formula while still embracing the melodrama and the artifice within. In that way, the film feels very strange, but if the viewer lets themselves be carried along with Hawks' unique rhythm, the reward is one of the most fascinating and exciting films in Hollywood's fabled 1939 output. (Only Angels Have Wings is available to rent online or viewed at this link.)
10. Closely Watched Trains (dir. Jiří Menzel, 1966; Czechoslovakia) Between the precise composition of the shots and the young narrator-protagonist, Closely Watched Trains feels like a spiritual predecessor to Wes Anderson's work. This comparison extends to the thematic content of the film as well, as the story of a young man coming-of-age against the backdrop of the Nazi regime is definitely cut from the same cloth as The Grand Budapest Hotel. Lucky for me, I love Anderson's work, and Grand Budapest is my favorite of his, so Menzel's stylistic flourishes immediately endeared me to the film.Menzel maintains a skillful tonal balancing act throughout Closely Watched Trains. Even under the wry, almost self-deprecating humor, the film never loses track of preciousness of life and the horrific tragedy of war. Beautiful cinematography, strong performances across the board, a memorable score, and a clever script make this a gem of the Czech New Wave and a moving, delightful, and accessible coming-of-age tale. (Closely Watched Trains is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.)
Honorable mentions (in alphabetical order): Ace in the Hole (Billy Wilder, 1951), The Band’s Visit (Eran Kolirin, 2007), But I’m a Cheerleader (Jamie Babbit, 1999), Carnival of Souls (Herk Harvey, 1962), A Cottage on Dartmoor (Anthony Asquith, 1929), Crossing Delancey (Joan Micklin Silver, 1988), Divorce Italian Style (Pietro Germi, 1961); Eat Drink Man Woman (Ang Lee, 1994), Fireworks (Kenneth Anger, 1947), The Freshman (Fred C. Newmeyer & Sam Taylor, 1925), The Hitch-Hiker (Ida Lupino, 1953), Kuroneko (Kaneto Shindo, 1968), Le Bonheur (Agnès Varda, 1965), Le Notti Bianche (Luchino Visconti, 1957), Like Father, Like Son (Hirokazu Kore-eda, 2013), Local Hero (Bill Forsyth, 1983), Love & Basketball (Gina Prince-Bythewood, 2000), Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (George Miller, 1981), Monsoon Wedding (Mira Nair, 2001), One Sings, the Other Doesn’t (Agnès Varda, 1977), Pennies from Heaven (Herbert Ross, 1981), Pickup on South Street (Samuel Fuller, 1953), Rushmore (Wes Anderson, 1998), Seven Samurai (Akira Kurosawa, 1954), Sleepless in Seattle (Nora Ephron, 1993), Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take One (William Greaves, 1968), Tea and Sympathy (Vincente Minnelli, 1956), They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? (Sydney Pollack, 1969), Tomboy (Céline Sciamma, 2011), Wendy & Lucy (Kelly Reichardt, 2008), Within Our Gates (Oscar Micheaux, 1920), Whisper of the Heart (Yoshifumi Kondo, 1995), and Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Robert Zemeckis, 1988).
And some miscellaneous viewing stats:
First movie watched in 2020: A Fantastic Woman (Sebastián Lelio, 2017)
Final movie watched in 2020: Holiday (George Cukor, 1938)
Worst movie watched: The Notebook (Nick Cassavetes, 2004)
Oldest movie watched: Ten films by the Lumière Brothers (Louis Lumière, 1895)
Longest movie watched: Seven Samurai (Akira Kurosawa, 1954; 207 minutes)
Month with most amount of movies watched: December (58 movies, including shorts)
Month with least amount of movies watched: February (11 movies) (pre-COVID, naturally)
First movie from 2020 seen: Birds of Prey (Cathy Yan, 2020)
Total movies watched: 455
100 notes · View notes
formeandmyfics · 3 years
Text
JUGENEA FAN FICTION
AT C.G.’s
sequel to ‘At The H.R.’ - Months after their sexy rendezvous at the Roosevelt Hotel, Judy and Gene reunite once again, this time at one of Cary Grant’s infamous parties up on Mulholland 
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1948
His forehead wrinkled as he felt a tingling sensation on his skin. The comfortable, crisp air suddenly became very warm. The tingling sensation now made its way into his insides. Drifting out of sleep, Gene suddenly felt a spark hit his body and he opened his eyes with the sudden sensation.
Confused, he looked around. He was standing in a living room, one he didn’t quite recognize, but oddly felt familiar. How did he get there from his bed? He looked down and realized he was no longer wearing pajamas but a black suit. Everything felt strange but it wasn’t at all unpleasant. Actually, it was quite pleasant, but peculiar. The atmosphere was muggy and warm, a hazy red glow was in the air, feeling exotic.
Behind him, a blurry figure emerged slowly down the staircase illuminated in red. He heard the sound of familiar heels clicking on the floor in a distance behind him. He knew who it was without even turning around. He just knew. He could already smell her alluring perfume. Gene felt her hand slide along his back before she came into focus. As she slid to the front of him, her hand followed its path to his chest.
Judy.
She wore a ravishing, white evening gown. The dress was long, with a slit cut way up high on her thigh, the strapless bodice accentuated her breasts beautifully. And she smiled at him, a titillating smile that expressed seduction. Her lips were redder and fuller than he ever remembered. Her eyes were dark, almost black, hypnotizing him. She ran her finger slowly down his silk tie before she turned and started to walk away from him. Her hips moved sensually as she made her way to the back hallway. It was Judy, it looked like her, smelled like her, but it she never acted this way. Where was she going?
Judy?
He called out for her in his mind. Why couldn’t he speak? He followed her to where she stood in front of a door. When she turned to look at him, he opened his mouth determined to speak, but she put her finger up to her lips, smiling, shushing him.
Gene stood frozen in place as he watched her lean against the door provocatively, her leg fully visible, beckoning to be touched. The way she looked at him at that moment just screamed sex. He could feel the energy. He could taste it. Opening the door, she motioned with her finger for him to follow her inside before shutting the door behind her. Anxious arousal and confusion spread throughout his being as his hand reached for the door knob. He hesitated at first, but when he grabbed onto the handle, it took a lot of energy to open the door. It was heavy like steel, and his grasp felt very liquid, but he managed to open it.
When Gene shut the door behind him, he found himself standing in the center of an empty soundstage. Where was she? Why did she leave him? Suddenly he felt abandoned, lost. But he could still feel her energy. She was here somewhere.
"Yo, buddy."
Gene heard a harsh voice echoing in his ears. The middle of his eyes wrinkled in bafflement as he turned his head to where the voice was coming from.
"I'm sorry?"
The impatient cabbie turned to look at him over his shoulder, "You gonna pay or are we at the wrong place?"
Gene looked out the window and sure enough they were in front of Ciro's. He immediately reached into his pocket and handed the driver money, "Thanks."
Gene sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He still couldn’t stop thinking about that odd dream he had last night. As he started to walk up to the entrance of the popular watering hole on Sunset, photographers turned from Lana Turner, who just disappeared into the building, and started shouting towards him.
"Mr. Kelly, Mr. Kelly."
"Evening, Mr. Kelly. Over here."
Gene was pulling out his cigarettes as they started flashing and he put his hand up and nodded, turning away from them. He hadn't been here for a night out since the last time he was at Ciro's, months ago, and he wasn't really in the mood for all the hobglob: a term he gave to paparazzi.
After lighting his cigarette, he was about to open the doors when Dick Powell, June Allyson, Peter Lawford and some chorus-girl came charging out of them startling him a bit.
"Oh, hey, Gene," Dick said noticing him first.
Gene smiled wide and shook his hand, "Hey guys," then turned to give Junie a kiss, "Hi sweetheart."
"How are ya, bud," Peter asked placing a friendly slap on his back.
"I'm good. Finally checking out the club scene again."
"Good to see ya back out. Gene, this is Maggie, Fox contract player," Peter said smiling at the bubbly blonde.
"Nice to meet you, Maggie," Gene smiled and kissed her hand.
"Thank you. I love all your films."
"You're sweet. So, what, are you all leaving," Gene asked disappointed.
"Yeah, there's a party we're all headed to. Come on with us," Junie said linking her arm with his.
"Where?"
"C.G's," Rich quipped.
Gene had never been to one of Cary Grant's infamous Mulholland parties, but he had heard about them. As charming and sophisticated Mr. Grant was, his parties seemed a little nuts.
"Oh, you know, the last I heard, from up at Cary's, was that Mickey woke up ass-naked on a pool lounger," they all laughed and he went on with a chuckle, "Not sure it's my scene."
"It's all about self-control, my man," Peter said trying to urge him to come along, "which you have. Mick's got no self-control with anything...especially with legs," he said raising his eyebrows like Groucho Marx.
Maggie giggled and slapped his chest, "Stop it."
"Well, if you're all going I might swing by in a bit. I'll see whose all here first."
"Believe me, everyone you want to hang out with is already at the party," Rich went on.
"Yeah, Kay and Lucille left about 20 minutes ago. Come on, I got a car over there.  The girls are already in there waiting," Peter said as he led Maggie away.
Without another word, Junie pulled him along with her making him smile. He couldn't help but just give in. They walked up to Lawford's rented 1947 Cadillac limo and the five of them piled into the back. Gene was the last in, and the minute he shut the door, he was staring at the back of Judy. She was sitting up front laughing horribly with Lena Horne as the driver started the car.
So, those were the 'girls', he thought mischievously as he assumed would be two more chorus girls Pete picked up.
Judy hadn't noticed him as he stared at her surprised. He couldn't see all of her, as he was in the back seat, but he saw her dark lashes as she looked at Lena with wide, amused eyes at something naughty the brunette said, and then her red lips as she burst out in laughter. Her auburn hair was the last thing he saw before the overhead light went off as the driver started the car. He knew she had been in Carmel on vacation for the past 3 1/2 weeks after finishing Easter Parade, but he didn't expect her back for a few more days, and surely didn't expect her to just show up out of no where. But, alas, Ms. Judy Garland did have that way about her.
The two had seen each other and talked since their rendezvous at the Hotel Roosevelt, but they hadn't spent anytime alone. When he started working on Three Musketeers, he didn't even go out to nightclubs. He was just too damn exhausted. And her time working on Pirate and Parade simultaneously had worn her out. He was happy she was granted all that time off, but he missed the hell out of her. Now that he was in-between filming, he was very much looking forward to rekindling with her. His plan was to make up for lost time when she returned from vacation, as she would for sure be well-rested. Judging by how giddy she seemed right now, he was hopeful his plan was working out earlier than expected.
It was dark in the car, but he could see her pale, white shoulders illuminated by the moonlight and he had a sudden urge to touch them...kiss them.
"Look at us, it's like a mini Words and Music reunion in here," Junie said.
"None of us have even started filming yet, baby cakes," Lena said sarcastically over her shoulder.
"That's beside the point, you stinker."
"It's a shame that most of us won't get to film together," Judy added a little downtrodden.
Gene almost chimed in, as he was included in the upcoming film, but he quickly decided that he didn't want her to know he was back there. He wanted to see her face when she saw him. He was playing the game and she loved games.
"Your scene is with Mick, isn't it, Judes," Lena asked.
"I have a musical number with him. You know, three of my leading men are in this picture.”
“And you only get Mick,” Powell stated as he noticed Pete and Maggie huddled close whispering amongst themselves across from him.
“Yah, no, I take that back,” she quickly retorted, “Actually, I have a short scene with Drake, too. Maybe I should ask them to write in a scene with Gene, that way I can act with all three of ‘em,” she chuckled.
June turned to Gene, “That would be swell, wouldn’t it G…”Gene quickly placed his hand over her mouth. She looked at him confused as he pointed towards Judy and then leaned over to whisper, “She doesn’t even know I’m in the car, let’s see what awful things she has to say about me.”
June then reiterated to her husband in his ear and Judy spoke up, “Why’d it suddenly get so quiet,” she turned around in her seat to look at them and Gene quickly bent forward so she wouldn’t catch him.
“Mind ya own business, baby,” Rich said trying to cover up, “You got two couples back here. Sometimes it will get quiet.”
Judy laughed and turned back around in her seat and Lena smoothed her updo, “They all smooching back there?”
“All huddled together like newlyweds,” Judy teased.
“How dare they,” Lena said and she turned just as Gene sat back up straight. Her mouth opened just as surprised to see him but he quickly pointed at Judy and placed a finger on his lips as to say to not give him away. She smiled and turned back around. She, of course, was the only one in the vehicle that knew of her relationship with Gene and loved this charade of Gene’s.
“Judy,” June asked sweetly.
“Yes, darling?”
“If you had to choose, who would you rather work with more, Drake, Mickey or Gene?”
“They’re all different in their own way.”
“Whose a better kisser,” June asked winking at Gene who was smiling.
“Well, I think I have enough class not to answer that.”
“Ok, between Mickey and Gene, which one do you prefer more?”
“It’s Mickey, isn’t it, that little dog,” Rich said in a girly voice.
Judy giggled nervously and scratched her eyebrow, “Please, he’s like a brother to me.”
“Gene then?”
“I didn’t say that,” she quickly said in defense.
Lena glanced back at Gene and did a come-hither motion to get her to keep going and she did, “Gene’s like a brother to you, too, hm?”
Judy sported wide eyes at her friend’s question as she was well aware that Lena asked that on purpose knowing a good-extent of her love-affair with Gene.
“Okay,” Peter said leaning forward, “We all saw those kisses on your Pirate picture. There was no brother-sister dynamic on those takes, you know what I mean,” he laughed naughty.
Judy crossed her arms not annoyed, “I thought you were busy back there, Lawford?”
“Lawford,” he repeated, “Uh-oh, I’m-in-trou-ble.”
“Kissing on screen doesn’t mean you’re into the other actor. She is an actress, you know,” June said.
“And she is married,” Maggie said in Judy’s defense.
Judy and Lena shared mischievous glances at one another. Oh, how naïve that chorus girl was for Hollywood. Gene’s smile widened as he watched Judy smiling at Lena biting her nail like some guilty teenager.
“You must not have read Judy’s biography,” Peter joked to his date.
“You have a Biography? But you’re so young,” she quipped.
Even Gene gave a look to the blonde as Judy placed her fingers on her temple, “No, I don’t have a biog…look, can we please stop talking about me or shall I open up the can of worms that’s all of your discrepancies?” They all murmured “noooo” and she nodded, “Didn’t think so.”
“I think he’s cute,” June went on.
“Who?”
“Gene Kelly. Don’t you think he’s cute?”
“He’s alright,” Judy answered monotoned, forcing herself to seem like she was uninterested.
Lena glanced back at Gene who had his arms crossed and looked baffled. “Well, I for one think he’s a hunk.”
“Yah, for a dancer, I suppose,” Judy went on clearly acting her little heart out for the other’s sake but Lena could see right through. Gene, not so much this time.
Gene leaned forward about to speak when June pulled him back by the shoulder reminding him of his game. “Well, if he’s not a good kisser and not attractive, why do you spend a lot of time with him,” June went on.
“I never said he wasn’t a good kisser and I never said he wasn’t attractive,” Judy answered quite defensively, “He’s a great leading man, we have great chemistry on screen. He’s just…not my type. We’re the best of friends. And don’t you all go talking this nonsense to him, neither.”
Suddenly everyone cracked up. Gene smiled licking his bottom lip, before biting it ready for the charade to end but before anyone could spoil it, the driver stopped and announced they had arrived.
As everyone piled out of the back, Judy grabbed her purse as Lena started to scoot past her.
“Get your game face on, baby,” Lena said before she stepped out of the car.
Judy was confused by her comment, but brushed it off before grabbing the hand that was held out for her. As Judy stood up out of the car, she glanced up at whom she thought was either Richie or Peter, but instead was staring at a very amused Gene. She gasped and whisked her hand away from his clearly shocked.
“Where on earth...” she was going to ask where he came from but didn’t need to continue as the question was written all over her face. Gene just smiled wickedly and she knew.
“There,” she asked in her distinct, but meek, tone as she motioned to the backseat.
“Oh, didn’t you know,” he asked playfully.
Judy couldn’t help but smile embarrassed before she went to get back into the car but he quickly grabbed her arm, “Nah, uh-uh. We have some things to talk about, young lady.”
“Oh, don’t be boring. We’re at a party,” she said just as teasing as she squirmed away from him and caught up to Lena as they all walked towards the front door.
Inside, the party was in full swing and Gene recognized nearly everyone. To the left, in the den, Lucy and Keenan Wynn were entertaining a group with funny anecdotes, while to the right, in the living room, Peggy Lee was entertaining another group as she sang accompanied by George Shearing on the piano. All-in-all, nothing seemed bonkers, as he had heard.
“Hi, Gene,” Angela Lansbury said cheerfully as she walked up to him.
“Hello, Angie,” he said leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek.
“Since when do you crawl on top of Mulholland on a school night?”
“I didn’t crawl, I was kidnapped outside Ciro’s by Lawford’s gang.”
“Ah, on a magic carpet no less.”
“Something like that,” he teased back.
C’mere,” she giggled, “Get yourself a drink.”
Together, arm-in-arm they walked to the mini bar in the living room and Gene looked around. As quick as Judy could seemingly appear, she seemed to disappear even faster.
“What’s your poison, darling?”
“Oo, how about Bourbon and water.”
“Simple, simple,” she said as she took it upon herself to make him a cocktail.
“So, where’s your groom-to-be?”
“The last I saw him, he was hiding by a potted palm. Which reminds me, I better go find him. Here you go,” she said and handed him his fresh cocktail.
“Thank you. See you later.”
Gene wandered around and said hi to friends meanwhile looking for signs of Judy. When she didn’t seem to be around in these few rooms, he decided to explore elsewhere. As he passed the den, Lucy waved at him which he waved back before heading towards the hallway.
It was semi-dark as he passed a couple necking against the wall and soon found himself in a large, state-of-the arc library and billiard room. Ann Miller, Bob Hope and Mickey Rooney were in the middle of a pool game as Kate Hepburn chatted with Kay Thompson on the couch by the fireplace.
“Gene, Judy didn’t tell me you were coming,” Kay spoke up surprised as she stood up to walk over.
“I didn’t know he would be,” Gene heard Judy’s voice behind him before she appeared next to him.
He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked but Kay reached in for a hug.
“I’ve never seen you at C.G.’s before,” she said in her brass voice.
“I was tricked.”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure I was tricked,” Judy retorted and reached her finger in for the cherry in his drink.
“Hey,” he said seeming annoyed as she plopped the maraschino in her mouth.
“You always give me the cherries that are in your drink.”
“What if I wanted that one,” he said acting sad.
“There are more at the bar.”
If they were alone right now, Gene would have taken the cherry back from her mouth...with his tongue.
His quick thought was interrupted by a loud thump followed by a rolling 8 ball that made Judy jump back.
“A little less force, Mick,” Kate called out.
“Golly, Mickey,” Judy said as she picked up the ball.
“Sorry, Judes.”
Judy handed him the ball as Bob Hope took a drag of his cigarette, “Cary will beat your little behind if you scratch his pool table, Rooney.”
Mick did a double take on the spot and licked his finger before rubbing it on the green baize making the small, white mark disappear.
“Speaking of Cary, I haven’t seen him.”
“He was out by the pool with Betsy Drake the last time I saw him,” Ann said before she leaned over and got into pose to hit her mark.
“Careful, Annie,” Kay said, “your tits are in the way.”
Ann gave Kay a smirk over her shoulder and when she turned forward again, she saw Mickey staring, “Do ya mind?”
“I beg your pardon,” he said smiling and walked out of view.
“Horndog,” Bob said.
Gene turned around to say something to Judy, but noticed she was no longer in the room, “Now, where the hell did she go?”
“Probably getting you more cherries,” Kay giggled.
“I swear, that girl is either a magician or some kind of chameleon.”
“Why are you so agitated?”
Gene didn’t answer, he just took another sip of his drink.
“Is this the first time you’re together again since her vacation,” her voice lowered.
He nodded and watched as Ann continued to hit the balls in the pockets, “Damn, Annie, I didn’t know you could play.”
“I’m a Texas-girl, Gene.”
“Aw, you two should be alone,” she continued.
“I didn’t know she’d be back already. I hopped in Lawford’s Limo and there she was. She didn’t even know I was in there until we got here.”
“Well, why don’t you go talk to her and catch up? She’s missed you.”
He smiled, “Terribly?”
“Terribly,” she breathed in exaggeration.
“Other than the cherry jar, happen to know where she went?  She never walked out the door.”
Kay nodded towards the patio door and he gulped the rest of his drink down handing her the glass, “Thanks.”
When Gene walked out onto the balcony, he made an impressed face at the beauty of the surroundings. The back part of the house he was at, he could see the entire San Fernando Valley all lit up in the night sky. Most of the cluster of lights down below were Universal and Warner Bros. studios he could make out clearly, even with the cloudy weather. As he kept walking, the veranda seemed to wrap around nearly the entire house accessorized by patio furniture & a grilling area. He could also see part of the pool area down below as well as he rounded the corner.
Looking up, he noticed Judy standing there, leaning against the railing, oblivious to his presence as she gazed at the skyline. As he got closer, she turned her head. He smiled, but she quickly nodded to look behind him. There, on the next story, was a sitting room, 90 degree walls made of glass where you could easily see people sitting there. He knew in an instant she was warning him to behave.
He stood shoulder-to-shoulder with her as they faced the view, "You are like a damn ninja, so sneaky."
"How do you mean?"
"You appear and then disappear. It's like my dream."
Judy turned more towards him curious, "What dream."
He turned towards her just the same, "I had a weird dream about you last night. Wanna hear it?"
"That depends," she giggled a bit nervous.
"Don't worry. This one isn't naughty."
"This one?"
"Mmm. It was so strange, actually. I remember being in bed and then I opened my eyes and I was in some house I didn't recognize. And then you appeared. You didn't say anything, you just made me follow you, like you were seducing me. It felt so real, I didn't realize I was dreaming."
"Then what happened," she asked as if it were the most casual thing in the world.
"You walked through a door. When I went in, I was in a dark, empty studio. You appeared, then disappeared, just like now." She looked at him with the same seductive eyes as in his dream and he continued, "What do you think it means?"
"Maybe you feel lost."
"Maybe I feel like you're drifting away."
"Maybe you're trying to find me."
His eyes sparkled, a small smile forming at the corner of his lips, "Maybe I want you."
Her eyes sparkled back, "Maybe it was just a dream."
Gene's smile turned wide in amusement as he leaned his elbows on the banister and she continued, "And I didn't mean to disappear. Cary just has the most beautiful view in all of Southern California, I think. I've only been up here a few times, but I always I always come out here when I visit."
"It is stunning, isn't it? But you said you have a great view, too."
"I do. I have a lovely view, but mines on the other side of the mountain and not as high up. It's mostly views of the hill. It's not open like this."
Down below, they noticed Cary and Betsy get up from the lounge chairs to walk in. When the host noticed them up above, he gave a smile and a wave. They both smiled and waved back. When pair were out of sight, Gene looked up at the glass-wall room and the two ladies that were in there, had vacated.
He tapped her hand before turning his palm upwards. Judy glanced down at it before nonchalantly looking around to make sure no one was watching.
She placed her hand into his, their fingers entwining and he spoke up in a lower voice, "I've missed you, sweetheart."
"I missed you, too, so much," she said placing he head against his shoulder.
For a moment, they were silent, just enjoying the view until Gene spoke up teasing her, "Not your type, huh?"
Judy laughed, lifting her head, "I had to act Blasé. What did you expect me to do?"
"Tell them how great of a kisser I am not just on screen but off screen as well," he said slowly moving his finger up her arm, creating goosebumps over her porcelain-like skin, "Tell them how much chemistry we have not only when we're acting..." he leaned into whisper in her ear, "but when we're fucking as well." He smiled when he saw her shiver, "Tell them how much I'm not your type when my head is between your legs."
Judy pulled her hand free from his and gave off a breathless giggle as she stepped away from him to create a little space, "See, you're going to get us into trouble," she pointed her finger at him, "Behave."
"Only if you promise to let me drive you home from the party."
"And, uh, darling how to you expect to do that when you didn't drive up here?"
Gene quickly remembered neither had a car, "Shit."
Suddenly his plan of them 'making up for lost time' tonight flew out the window. It's not like he could just ask Lawford to drop them off at a hotel or let them Christian the back seat.
Judy seemed to read his mind from the disappointment on his face, "We can call up Frank. I’m sure he’ll save us.”
“Out of town,” Gene murmured but then perked up, “Kay.”
Judy shook her head, “She drove up with Lucille.”
“And Lena drove up with us. Looks like we’re all out of options of the people that know about us baby cakes,” he saw the disappointment on her face as well which made him feel good that she clearly wanted to be alone with him as much as he with her, but he also didn’t want to waste a good time at the party so he lightened the mood, “We could always hop the fence and pop off behind a tree.”
“And give a chance for a rattlesnake to bite us in the ass,” she joked.
Gene chuckled and walked over to a nearby patio sofa where she followed.
“Cigarette?”
“No, thank you.”
“So, how was Carmel?”
“Oh, golly...”
“You enjoyed yourself?”
“All that time away from the studio, you must be joking. Of course, I did. I just rested and spent almost every waking moment with Liza. We went to the beach and I played a little golf and I ate. Gene, I ate like a horse.”
“Good for you,” he said eyeing her frame which he noticed was just a tiny bit more meaty, in a good way, especially her tits.
“I gained 8 pounds in 3 weeks. Because I’m so little, it’s gonna show on camera. Do you think I should lose it for this collaboration,” she asked curious referring to Words and Music.
“No,” he said almost disgusted, “And fuck em’ if they say something. You look better than ever.”
“Your sweet,” she said placing her palm on his cheek, “So, you’re done with Muskateers?”
“Yep.”
“Good. Less stress right now.”
“Much less stress, but only for a few weeks while I work on my scene for this picture. After that I start on Ballgame.”
“I’m so happy you finally got it going with Stan.”
“Me, too. But a little disappointed that we couldn’t get you as much as we both pushed for it.”
“I know but they want me for Berkley’s of Broadway with Fred,” she said shrugging her shoulders, “Did you get Charlie to direct?”
“No,” he said looking at her with raised eyebrows, “Buzz.”
Judy’s mouth opened wide in horror, “Oh, you’re kidding me.”
“It’s alright, baby. I can handle him more than you can.”
“I swear, if they ever put me in another picture with him in charge, it might be the death of me.”
“Then don’t let them,” he said taking a drag.
“Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done, Gene.”
They sat in comfortable silence, crickets and echoes of the party from inside, surrounding them.
“How are you and Vince?”
“He’s as sweet as can be. Patient,” she trailed off a moment and reached for his cigarette, “Boring.”
“So, the same?”
“The same,” she said exhaling up into the night air, “You?”
“The same. Though, I have to admit, Betsy and I have been fighting a lot more lately.”
“Why?”
“I was kind of taking my frustrations out on her. I would just be so damn irritable that anything she did ticked me off. I haven’t been spending a lot at home.”
“You shouldn’t take your frustrations from work home with you. If that were the case for me and Vince, especially since we’ve worked closely together, we probably would have split up before we even married,” she said as Gene’s friend, not lover.
“It wasn’t just frustration from work,” he said softly referring to their time apart, just not location-wise but intimately as well.
She looked up at him as he was staring at her intently. “We’re both to blame for that, Gene,” she said flicking ashes off the cigarette.
“You know, the more time apart we are, the more I want to toss our two-year ‘agreement’ down the drain.”
Judy nervously licked her red lips before taking another drag and pounding the cigarette out on the ashtray.
“Do you ever think about that night at the H.R.,” he asked, his voice getting husky.
Judy lifted her head, and gave a little smile, “Every day.”
Flashes of him yanking the ribbons on her corset as her hands were placed against the mirror went through their minds. His loud grunts as his hips smacked into hers, her hands grasping the hotel bed sheets, their laughter after they were both sated, their intimate talk in bed in bathrobes, her back arching as his mouth was her insatiable alarm clock also flashed through.
“C’mere,” he said motioning for her to lean into him.
Their lips met just barely when all of a sudden Gene flinched confusing her. She leaned back and he flinched again before looking up squinting one eye.
“What is it?”
“It’s raining, I think.”
One then hit Judy’s cheek and she giggled wiping it away, “I’d say so.”
“Judy, Gene...” Kay said from around the corner and whistled, “Cary wants everyone to do a toast.”
Judy patted Gene’s knee, “Rain check?”
“Funny,” he said getting up and they walked inside.
A little later, everyone was scattered in the living room as a Cole Porter tune was being played over the piano. Judy sat next to their pianist, as Gene stood at the other side of the piano, facing her.
Together they sang 'Night and Day' in a melodic and romantic tone.
Night and day, you are the one Only you beneath the moon Under the sun Whether near to me or far It's no matter, darling, where you are I think of you Night and day...
The pianist was concentrating on what his hands were doing, that he didn't even notice the way his singers were staring at one another. Judy and Gene seemed lost in each other as they sang, their eyes sparkling.
As Kay took a slow sip of her martini, she slyly glanced up at the crowd watching the pair. Judging by their relaxed expressions, mesmerized by the entertainment, no one seemed to notice the sensual chemistry radiating from the MGM pair.
As the song started to near the end, Judy broke away from Gene's stare, her eyes falling on their audience, and she smiled at Gene, darting her eyes to the side of him, non-vocally reminding him that they were being watched. He turned around and continued singing. Judy's eyes remained on the back of him, looking completely in awe, but a bit sad. His comment about tossing their '2 year agreement' down the drain was fresh in her mind. At the Roosevelt hotel that one evening, they had admitted they were in-love, but neither was ready to leave their families...yet. If, in two years, they were still unhappy in their marriages, he had said, then they would leave and finally be together. Gene was more unhappy in his marriage than ever, she knew, and she also knew he was serious about that comment. If he did leave his wife, would he expect her to leave Vince? As much as Judy was in-love with Gene, and missed him greatly, she was not ready to do that.
Her thoughts drifted away as she noticed he was currently putting his all into the song. All eyes seemed to be upon him, not only his beautiful tone, but confidence. She felt tears spring to her eyes feeling so very proud of him, how far he came, that she gradually let her singing drift away so he could shine. When the pianist hit the last key as Gene's singing faded, everyone applauded enthusiastically. Gene smiled, nodding 'thank you' before turning around. He took Judy's hand and kissed it. She gave Gene a wink in return.
For a few minutes, Gene conversed with friends as Judy conversed on the other side of the room with others. By this point, there were only about twelve remaining at the party so things were a little more quiet, and a lot more casual and intimate.
"What is that," Peter asked as he shushed some in his group.
"What is what," Lucy asked.
"Listen."
Sounds of hard dings one right after the other, above their heads, were heard. Then in a second, a blanket like a loud crash on the ceiling shushed the entire room. Cary walked over to the patio and ripped open the curtains revealing a torrential downpour over Los Angeles including small hail. Rain, ok, downpour and thunderstorm, rare, hail...no one there had seen in Southern California before.
"Holy camoli," June said walking over to him.
"Oh, fuck, my car," Powell said and quickly left.
"What are you doing," June called out to her husband.
"It's only light hail," Cary said opening the patio door to pick one up.
Lena shook her head as she placed a hand on her hip, "Have you ever seen this before?"
"Not in Los Angeles," Gene replied.
"And we might not ever see it again," Peter said reaching down to take off his shoes.
"What are you doing," his date squeaked.
"I'm not giving up the chance to experience this like mother nature intended," he said as he stripped down to his skivvies as everyone laughed.
There was an uproar of hilarity as he ran out onto the deck and practically danced in the rain. After he tried to persuade his date to join him, and she wouldn't, he started on Lucy and Lena and June who enjoyed the scene but also refused.
When it was Judy's turn, she looked at Kay and Gene over her shoulder, "Think I'll melt?"
She went to walk but Kay quickly grabbed her arm, "What are you doing?"
"Having fun," Judy emphasized, "Everyone thinks I'm crazy, might as well act the part!"
As Judy ran past Cary, and straight into the rain, Kay was so shocked, she took a few steps with her mouth open wide, as if to stop her, but she was already in Peter's arms laughing and getting drenched.
"Jesus," Gene replied before he placed his hands over his face and chuckled.
"Judy, you're insane," Lucy yelled.
"She must be toasted," June replied laughing.
Her wanting to have fun, and make fun of herself, was typical Judy, but her behavior right now out in the storm like that, acting as lunatic as drunk Peter, made him realize June's comment probably rang true. She must have had too much to drink.
After a few minutes of laughter where their belly's hurt, the rain died down and Peter and Judy finally bounced their way back inside. Lucy handed the both a towel and Gene pulled a giggling Judy aside. As he did so, she stumbled just a tad.
"You didn't melt."
"That's because I'm a Black Irish Witch, not the Wicked Witch of the West. Woo, you know, even after being out there, I feel so hot," she said fanning herself.
"All I saw you drink tonight was some wine. What else did you have?"
"I had some drink that the boys gave me."
"What drink?"
"Uh, it was green. They called it some type of fairy."
Gene looked at her like he didn't hear her right, "Absinthe?"
"Yes, that's it."
"Which ‘boys’ gave you that?"
"Why?"
"Because it has psychoactive side-effects to it. It's higher proof than whiskey. I won't even drink that shit, and neither should you."
"Well, I'm not having any hallucinogens, Gene. I knew exactly what I was doing out there."
"It was Mickey before he left, wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't. And I'm not telling you."
"Why?"
"Because you're too protective and you'll have something to say and no one wants to hear what you have to say right now," she teased leaning her chin up at him with a silly grin like a child.
"Not even you," he said wanting to reach down and kiss those lips.
"Nope."
"How about now," he said back, his voice getting lower.
Judy's chest heaved, her smile disappearing, when she felt those certain butterflies invade her torso.
Then it went dark.
"Oh, what the hell," Cary shouted as the entire house went dark including the houses on the hills in the distance.
"What happened," they all heard Powell call out as the front door shut.
"Power's out," Peter replied.
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Oh, I'm stepping on wires or something," June's voice was heard, "Oh, what was that?"
"That's me," Lucy giggled.
"Everyone take a hand next to you and follow me into the kitchen. I have a storage of flashlights and some lanterns," Cary said.
"Oh, fun, like a human train," Lena said.
"I'll be in the den. I'm not giving any of you a chance to knock me over," her footsteps disappeared into the next room as the others footsteps disappeared down the hall.
Gene couldn't see shit, but judging by the stillness and silence, he felt he was alone. But wanted to make sure. He swung his arms around gently, to see if he could feel anything that resembled Judy Garland, but just got air in return. He was going to follow into the kitchen, when he heard a few notes play on the piano.
"Whose that," he asked walking over cautiously.
The piano slowly played the bells are ringing...
Gene instantly smiled, "So, that's how you announce yourself now."
"Only to you," she spoke.
"What are you doing over here?"
"Getting out of everyone's way."
"Not everyone," he whispered as he finally caught her.
Placing his hand on her hips, he turned her around, and pressed her body up against his, holding her tight as he felt her breath near his neck. Her fingers then touched his lips gently.
"Oh, there you are," she breathed before he bent his head and she could feel his breath against her lips.
"Here I am," he said before his lips captured hers.
Their lips smacking and sucking sounded awfully loud in the abandoned, dark room but neither cared as they finally kissed again after what seemed like an eternity. When her arms wrapped tight around his neck, Gene plunged his tongue into her mouth, her lips already parted for him. When her hand slightly grasped the back of his head as she took control, sliding her tongue into his mouth now, he felt arousal shoot down to his groin. It made him slightly groan, just a vibration enough for her to hear. He took a hold of one side of her backside as he took a step to push his body into her against the piano. But, she lost a bit of footing and completely sat on the keys in full force that the sound rattled the entire living room as deep as a thunderbolt.
"Who's fucking up my piano," they heard Cary say followed by another footstep behind him.
Then, the flashlight went on revealing Judy and Gene standing shoulder to shoulder looking like frightened deer in headlights.
“What happened,” Rich asked.
“I bumped into her and she fell on the piano keys,” Gene said squinting and held his hand up, “Get that fucking light off me, Grant.”
Carey lowered his flashlight and handed Gene of the small, electric lanterns, “Here, go give this to Kay before she knocks over one of my Tiffany lamps in there.”
Gene gave Judy a look before walking into the next room.
“Do you have any more lanterns?”
“Lena’s turning them on in the kitchen. Go grab yourself one, baby doll,” Cary answered.
“’ll be right back,” Judy giggled as she passed Cary & Richie.
Gene returned back in the living room a few minutes later, after talking to Kay once Lucy joined, and it was pitch black again.
“Anyone here,” he asked hoping Judy still was.
When there was no answer, he made his way to the kitchen. He didn’t speak, but he noticed everyone was now sitting down chatting and had also lit some candles. But Judy wasn’t there.
After making his way around the obvious places with his own flashlight, he started up the stairs. It was still pitch black.
Suddenly, a door next to him opened startling him. He pointed his flashlight and Maggie walked out of the bathroom giving him a friendly smile before heading back downstairs. So, Judy wasn’t in the bathroom, where he assumed she would be.
Where the hell was she?
He held his flashlight down, and was about turn to walk back downstairs, when he saw a faint light coming from the corner room. He carefully walked in what was the master bedroom and the orange hued light was brighter coming from the master bathroom.
Bingo, he thought, and turned his flashlight off as she came into view. The lantern was lit, resting on the large counter, and she was trying to fix her damp hair as much as she could.
“Disappearing again, I see.”
She didn’t say anything, but in the shadow of the lantern on the side of her face, he saw a little smile appear. It was simple, but had a major aphrodisiac effect on him. Without another word, he walked in and shut the door behind him.
Judy stopped fiddling with her hair when she heard him turn the lock.
“Are you sure you don’t want to drive back with me,” Lucy asked Kay as she walked her to her car with a flashlight.
“No, thanks. Lena said she was going to hitch a ride with Vivie and Nick in a few minutes so I’ll just catch a ride back in the Lawford-mobile with Judy and the gang.”
“Speaking of Judy, I wonder where she went. I would have loved to say bye to her.”
“Don’t worry, darling, I’ll tell her for you. Say hi to Desi for us, will ya?”
“You bet. Bye honey,” Lucy said as she got into her car.
Kay waved as Lucy backed down the driveway and didn’t turn until she got back on Mullholland safely.
“I bet I know where Judy went,” Lena said leaning in the doorway.
Kay nodded, “They’re both taking advantage of the blackout by necking like a couple of teenagers is my guess.”
“Good for them. If they enjoy being together that much, than have at it I say.”
The lantern lit up the bathroom with a sensual glow, reflecting back through the large, bathroom mirror as Judy whimpered sensually.
She let go of the back of Gene’s head to grasp the edge of the counter, her knuckles turning white, her back arched. She moaned louder as Gene’s mouth became more demanding between her legs. She felt a rush of moisture cascaded her lower being and her body felt heavenly.
“Oh, gosh,” she whispered as another burst of pre-climax tingled, over-stimulating her.
Gene took that cue to stop and he let her go with a loud sucking motion before standing up to undo his pants. His erection was strained, pressing against his shorts, he hadn’t felt that hard and ready since their last encounter; not even the times he had jerked off thinking about her during their mini-separation.  
Judy took it upon herself to yank down his shorts and started caressing him the way she knew he liked as their lips skimmed on another. He softly groaned from pleasure and torture. He wanted to stop her, he wanted to plunge himself into her warm, slick, pulsating center but Judy loved to please him as much as he loved to please her. So, he let her take control. He trusted her not to let him come before he was inside of her.
“I’ve missed you,” she breathed against his lips.
“I’ve missed you, baby, you feel so good,” he breathed back before capturing her mouth with another hot, open kiss.
Cary stood up from the table and grabbed a lantern, “I’m gonna try the braker again.”
“Has anyone seen Gene? He’s usually so good at fixing things,” June commented.
“I haven’t seen Kay or Lena since Lucy left, haven’t seen Judy or Gene, neither,” Peter replied getting up to assist Cary downstairs.
“Yes, what are they doing,” Cary’s girlfriend Betsy said with a casual curiosity.
Over and over, in a timeless rhythm, Gene hit the right spot with each thrust. And she held onto him tightly, her finger tips digging into his lower back to feel his movements and bring him closer.
They were both passionately, and emotionally, reveling in the feeling of being together again. They both also kept the sounds of their lovemaking to a minimum for the fear of getting caught. And it was a challenge as the rise of their impending orgasms made them both want to respond to each other vocally on how they were feeling. Fortunately, after being together since their first picture, they were very familiar with each other’s bodies and body language, so a repeated vocal response of their fuck was not necessarily needed.
Gene felt her slide her back a bit lower against the mirror for a better angle as he realized she was close. He grabbed her hips, accommodating her, and continued his thrusts, now becoming a little faster for her release as he tried to hold out.
She couldn’t hold back her cry of erotic desperation as her climax was near the edge making her toes curl and her body tense up. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder and grabbed on as she rode the wave. When her orgasm burst throughout her being, Judy leaned her head back, the side of her face visible from the lantern, scrunched up as her red lips parted. A cry that she purposefully bit back escaped from her chest, filtered out from her teeth biting her bottom lip.
Gene was relieved as he thrust into her harder, feeling himself start to expand. Hearing his intense breaths start to skip, Judy leaned her head back up and grabbed the sides of his face, their noses touching as he let go.
His hand fell flat up against the mirror beside her head as his orgasm shot out inside of her. It was overwhelming, intense and seemed to keep going as he continued to thrust and softly groan over and over. When both their bodies stilled, Gene breathed heavily, almost shaking, as he leaned his head down. Judy just kissed his forehead.
Then the lights went on.
Gene lifted his head and smiled, “There you are,” he said from their earlier encounter.
“Here I am,” she whispered back and kissed him softly.
MGM was bustling and busy as a bee as Judy walked down the lot towards the small parking lot outside the south entrance. The day was so beautiful, the sun was bright and the sky was bright blue, no one would have expected that it had been storming the past few days.
When she got closer to her car, she noticed Gene leaning against the hood, his back to her, smoking a cigarette.
“Hi,” she said with a bit of surprise.
“Oh, hey,” he replied turning around and stomped out his cigarette.
“I thought you were off for a few days.”
“Had to drop off some notes to Stan. Saw your car was still here,” he reached over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, “How did it go?”
She had just finished her recording for Words and Music with Mickey and was actually quite proud at how easy things went, “It was good. We got it done. Went smoothly. Vince even brought Liza by to watch. Mickey played with her, it was all very relaxed.”
“Oh, how swell. Are you leaving the studio now?”
“Mm hm. It’s such a nice day. I was thinking of having a picnic with Liza in the backyard since I’m getting out earlier than I thought.”
“I’m sure she’ll love it. But, before you go, I have to talk to you,” he said, his voice becoming a bit serious, it made her a little nervous as he urged her to get in the car. She did and watched as he got in the passenger side.
“I’m taking residency at the Beverly Hills Hotel.”
“What do you mean you’re taking residency,” she asked her face completely confused.
“You know how unhappy my marriage has been lately...well, for a while now,” he said and Judy nodded becoming anxious, “Betsy and I talked last night and we decided to separate for...”
“Oh, Gene, are you really sure you want to do that,” she interrupted with almost an exasperation.
Gene looked at Judy in disbelief by her quick response before he even finished talking, “Am I really sure I want to do what?”
“Separate from your family. It’s just...” she looked down fiddling with her fingers, “I’m not ready to do the same.”
Gene turned to her more in his seat, a little irritated, “I’m not asking you to.”
“You’re not?”
Her response was so shocked and genuine that it made him angry. He turned forwards and pressed his palms into his knees shaking his head.
“Why are you getting upset?”
“Do you really believe that whatever I do with my personal life, I expect you to do the same?”
The hurt expression on his face cause Judy to practically sink into her seat, “Well, after what you said the other night about our ‘agreement’ I...”
“Oh, fuck the agreement,” she looked at him with wide eyes, “If you would have let me finish talking then you would have heard that my separation is only going to be for a few weeks.”
“A few weeks?”
“A break. We decided to start there and see what happens. And if we need more time or...anything else...then we’ll cross that bridge when it gets to it.”
Judy tried not to show relief on her face but he could see it in her eyes and he laughed from ridiculousness, “Why are you automatically jumping to conclusions?”
“Because you said you wanted to throw our agreement down the drain since you are so unhappy with Betsy. I assumed that meant you wanted to divorce her and that would mean I would do the same.”
“Assumptions can get you into trouble,” he replied almost amused but sounded like some strict teacher.
“I know that now,” she said irritated, her elbow leaning on the window frame, her temple leaning against her hand. She was candidly embarrassed.
“Honey, I wanted to talk to you because with me staying at the hotel for a few weeks, that would mean I would be more accessible to you, to spend more time together since that’s what we both want. I never expect you to do anything just because I do it. Your decisions about your family are yours and Vince’s only. When you get to that own bridge of yours, I’ll be on the other side of it. But I’ll never be in the middle.”
“You said ‘when’, not ‘if’. How are you so sure of yourself?”
“I don’t know,” he said his voice softening. “It just came out that way. But one thing I know for sure is that we belong together, sweetheart, in one way or another.”
Judy slightly smiled as she thought the same.
“Listen, I’m never going to ask to take time away from your husband, or you daughter, but when you do have free time, you know where I’ll be.”
He reached over and gave her a cheerful peck on the lips before getting out of the car. Judy watched him in her rearview mirror as he started to walk away.
Knowing she was watching him, Gene turned around and smiled once more.
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96harmony96 · 3 years
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Chapter 7
I don’t remember much of what happened after we arrived. Camera flashes burst around us like fireworks as we walked the length of the press gauntlet, but I scarcely paid them any mind, smiling by rote. I was drawn into myself and desperate to get away from the tension radiating in waves from Lauren.
The moment we crossed over into the building, someone called her name and she turned. I slipped away, darting around the rest of the guests clogging the carpeted entrance.
When I reached the reception hall, I snatched two glasses of champagne from a passing server and searched for Cary as I tossed one back. I spotted him on the far side of the room with my mom and Stanton, and I crossed to them, discarding my empty glass on a table as I passed it.
“Camila!” My mother’s face lit up when she saw me. “That dress is stunning on you!”
She air-kissed each of my cheeks. She was gorgeous in a shimmering, fitted column of icy blue. Sapphires dripped from her ears, throat, and wrist, highlighting her eyes and her pale skin.
“Thank you.” I took a gulp of champagne from my second glass, remembering that I’d planned on expressing gratitude for the dress. While I still appreciated the gift, I was no longer so happy about the convenient thigh slit.
Cary stepped forward, catching my elbow. One look at my face and he knew I was upset. I shook my head, not wanting to get into it now.
“More champagne, then?” he asked softly.
“Please.”
I felt Lauren approaching before I saw my mother’s face light up like the New Year’s ball in Times Square. Stanton, too, seemed to straighten and gather himself.
“Camila.” Lauren set her hand on the bare skin of my lower back and a shock of awareness moved through me. When her fingers flexed against me, I wondered if she felt it, too. “You ran off.”
I stiffened against the reproof I heard in her tone. I shot her a look that said everything I couldn’t while we were in public. “Richard, have you met LaurenJauregui?”
“Yes, of course.” The two shook hands.
Lauren pulled me closer to her side. “We share the good fortune of escorting the two most beautiful women in New York.”
Stanton agreed, smiling indulgently down at my mother.
I tossed back the rest of my champagne and gratefully exchanged the empty glass for the fresh one Cary handed me. There was a slight warmth growing in my belly from the alcohol and it loosened the knot that had formed there.
Lauren leaned over and whispered harshly, “Don’t forget you’re here with me.”
SHe was mad? What the hell? My gaze narrowed. “You’re one to talk.”
“Not here, Camila.” sHe nodded at everyone and led me away. “Not now.”
“Not ever,” I muttered, going along with her just to spare my mother a scene.
Sipping my champagne, I slid into an autopilot mode of self-preservation I hadn’t had to use in many years. Lauren fintroduced me to people and I supposed I performed well enough—spoke at the appropriate moments and smiled when necessary—but I wasn’t really paying attention. I was too conscious of the icy wall between us and my own hurt anger. If I’d needed any proof that Lauren was rigid about not socializing with women she slept with, I had it.
When dinner was announced, I went with her into the dining room and poked at my food. I drank a few glasses of the red wine they served with the meal and heard Lauren talking to our tablemates, although I didn’t pay attention to the words, only to the cadence and the seductively deep, even tone. SHe made no attempt to draw me into the conversation and I was glad. I didn’t think I could say anything nice.
I didn’t become engaged until she stood to a round of applause and took the stage. Then I turned in my seat and watched her cross to the podium, unable to help admiring her animal grace and stunning good looks. Every step she took commanded attention and respect, which was a feat, considering her easy and unhurried stride.
She looked none the worse for wear after our abandoned fucking in her limo. In fact, she seemed like a totally different person. SHe was once again the woman I’d met in the Crossfire lobby, supremely contained and quietly powerful.
“In North America,” she began, “childhood sexual abuse is experienced by one in every four women and one in every six men. Take a good look around you. Someone at your table is either a survivor or knows someone who is. That’s the unacceptable truth.”
I was riveted. Lauren was a consummate orator, her vibrant baritone mesmerizing. But it was the topic, which hit so close to home, and her passionate and sometimes shocking way of discussing it, that moved me. I began to thaw, my bewildered fury and damaged self-confidence subverted by wonder. My view of her shifted, altering as I became simply another individual in a rapt audience. SHe wasn’t the man who’d so recently hurt my feelings; she was just a skilled speaker discussing a subject that was deeply important to me.
When she finished, I stood and applauded, catching both her and myself by surprise. But others quickly joined me in the standing ovation and I heard the buzz of conversations around me, the quietly voiced compliments that were well deserved.
“You’re a fortunate young lady.”
I turned to look at the woman who spoke, a lovely redhead who appeared to be in her early forties. “We’re just…friends.”
Her serene smile somehow managed to argue with me.
People began stepping away from their tables. I was about to grab my clutch so I could leave for home when a young man came up to me. His wayward auburn hair inspired instant envy and his eyes of grayish-green were soft and friendly. Handsome and sporting a boyish grin, he lured the first genuine smile out of me since the ride over in the limousine.
“Hello there,” he said.
He seemed to know who I was, which put me in the awkward position of pretending I wasn’t clueless as to who he was. “Hello.”
He laughed, and the sound was light and charming. “I’m Christopher Vidal, Lauren’s brother.”
“Oh, of course.” My face heated. I couldn’t believe I’d been so lost in my own pity party that I hadn’t made the connection at once.
“You’re blushing.”
“I’m sorry.” I offered a sheepish smile. “Not sure how to say I read an article about you without sounding awkward.”
He laughed. “I’m flattered you remembered it. Just don’t tell me it was in Page Six.”
The gossip column was notorious for getting the goods on New York celebrities and socialites. “No,” I said quickly. “Rolling Stone, maybe?”
“I can live with that.” He extended his arm to me. “Would you like to dance?”
I glanced over to where Lauren was standing at the foot of the stairs that led to the stage. SHe was surrounded by people eager to talk to her, many of whom were women.
“You can see she’ll be awhile,” Christopher said, with a note of amusement.
“Yes.” I was about to look away when I recognized the woman standing next to Lauren—Magdalene Perez.
I picked up my clutch and managed a smile for Christopher. “I’d love to dance.”
Arm-in-arm we headed into the ballroom and stepped onto the dance floor. The band began the first strains of a waltz and we moved easily, naturally into the music. He was a skilled dancer, agile and confident in his lead.
“So, how do you know Lauren?”
“I don’t.” I nodded at Cary when he glided by with a statuesque blonde. “I work in the Crossfire and we’ve run into each other once or twice.”
“You work for her?”
“No. I’m an assistant at Waters Field and Leaman.”
“Ah.” He grinned. “Ad agency.”
“Yes.”
“Lauren must really be into you to go from meeting you once or twice to dragging you out on a date like this.”
I cursed inwardly. I’d known assumptions would be made, but I wanted more than ever to avoid further humiliation. “Lauren’s acquainted with my mother and she’d already arranged for me to come, so it’s just a matter of two people going to the same event in one car rather than two.”
“So you’re available?”
I took a deep breath, feeling uncomfortable despite how fluidly we moved together. “Well, I’m not taken.”
Christopher flashed his charismatic boyish grin. “My night just took a turn for the better.”
He filled the rest of the dance with amusing anecdotes about the music industry that made me laugh and took my mind off lauren.
When the dance ended, Cary was there to take the next one. We danced very well as a couple because we’d taken lessons together. I relaxed into his hold, grateful to have him as moral support.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” I asked him.
“I pinched myself during dinner when I realized I was sitting next to the top coordinator for Fashion Week. And she flirted with me!” He smiled, but his eyes were haunted. “Whenever I find myself in places like this…dressed like this…I can’t believe it. You saved my life, Camila. Then you changed it completely.”
“You save my sanity all the time. Trust me, we’re even.”
His hand tightened on mine, his gaze hardening. “You look miserable. How’d she fuck up?”
“I think I did that. We’ll talk about it later.”
“You’re afraid I’ll kick her ass here in front of everyone.”
I sighed. “I’d rather you didn’t, for my mom’s sake.”
Cary pressed his lips briefly to my forehead. “I warned her earlier. SHe knows it’s coming.”
“Oh, Cary.” Love for him tightened my throat even as reluctant amusement curved my lips. I should’ve known Cary would give Lauren a big brother threat of some sort. That was just so like him.
Lauren appeared beside us. “I’m cutting in.”
It wasn’t a request.
Cary stopped and looked at me. I nodded. He backed away with a bow, his gaze hot and fierce on Lauren’s face.
Lauren pulled me close and took over the dance the way she took over everything—with dominant confidence. It was an entirely different experience dancing with her than with my two previous partners. Lauren had both the expertise of her brother and Cary’s familiarity with the way my body moved, but Lauren had a bold, aggressive style that was inherently sexual.
It didn’t help that being so close to a woman I’d so recently been intimate with seduced my senses despite my unhappiness. SHe smelled scrumptious, with undertones of sex, and the way she led me through the bold sweeping steps made me feel the soreness deep inside me, reminding me that she’d been there not long ago.
“You keep running off,” she muttered, scowling down at me.
“Seemed like Magdalene picked up the slack quick enough.”
Her brow arched and she drew me closer. “Jealous?”
“Seriously?” I looked away.
SHe made a frustrated noise. “Stay away from my brother, Camila.”
“Why?”
“Because I said so.”
My temper ignited, which felt good after all the self-recrimination and doubts I’d been drowning in since we’d screwed like feral bunnies. I decided to see if turnabout was fair play in Lauren Jauregui’s world. “Stay away from Magdalene, Lauren.”
Her jaw tightened. “She’s just a friend.”
“Meaning you haven’t slept with her…? Yet.”
“No, damn it. And I don’t want to. Listen—” The music wound down and she slowed. “I have to go. I brought you here, and I would prefer to be the one who takes you home, but I don’t want to pull you away if you’re enjoying yourself. Would you rather stick around and go home with Stanton and your mother?”
Enjoying myself? Was she kidding or clueless? Or worse. Maybe she’d written me off so completely that she wasn’t paying attention to me at all.
I pushed away from her, needing the distance. Her scent was messing with my head. “I’ll be fine. Forget about me.”
“Camila.” SHe reached for me and I stepped back quickly.
An arm came around my back and Cary spoke. “I’ve got her, Jauregui.”
“Don’t get in my way, Taylor,” Lauren warned.
Cary snorted. “I get the impression you’re doing a smokin’ job of that all by yourself.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “You gave a wonderful speech, Lauren. It was the highlight of my evening.”
She sucked in a sharp breath at the implied insult; then shoved a hand through her hair. Abruptly, she cursed and I realized why when ahe pulled her vibrating phone out of her pocket and glanced at the screen.
“I have to go.” Her gaze caught mine and held it. Her fingertips drifted over my cheek. “I’ll call you.”
And then she was gone.
“Do you want to stay?” Cary asked quietly.
“No.”
“I’ll take you home, then.”
“No, don’t.” I wanted to be alone for a bit. Soak in a hot bath with a bottle of cool wine and pull myself out of my funk. “You should be here. It could be good for your career. We can talk when you get home. Or tomorrow. I’m going the couch potato route all day.”
His gaze darted over my face, searching. “You sure?”
I nodded.
“All right.” But he looked unconvinced.
“If you could go out and ask a valet to have Stanton’s limo brought around, I’ll run to the ladies’ room real quick.”
“Okay.” Cary ran his hand down my arm. “I’ll get your shawl from the coatroom and see you out front.”
It took longer to get to the restroom than it should have. For one, a surprising number of people stopped me for small talk, which had to be because I was Lauren Jauregui's date. And two, I avoided the nearest ladies’ room, which had a steady flow of women pouring in and out of it, and I found one located farther away. I locked myself in a stall and took a few moments longer to finish my business than absolutely required. There was no one else in the room besides the attendant, so there was no one to rush me.
I was so hurt by Lauren it was hard to breathe and I was so confused by her mood swings. Why had she touched my face like that? Why had she gotten mad when I didn’t stay by her side? And why the hell had she threatened Cary? Lauren gave new meaning to the old adage about “running hot and cold.”
Closing my eyes, I shored up my composure. Jesus. I didn’t need this.
I’d bared my emotions in the limo and I still felt horribly vulnerable—a state I’d spent countless therapy hours learning to avoid. I wanted nothing more than to be home and hidden, freed from the pressure of acting like I was completely pulled together when I was anything but.
You set yourself up for this, I reminded myself. Suck it up.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped out and was resigned to finding Magdalene leaning against the vanity with her arms crossed. She was clearly there for me, lying in wait at a time when my defenses were already weak. My step faltered; then I recovered and made my way to the sink to wash my hands.
She turned to face the mirror, studying my reflection. I studied her, too. She was even more gorgeous in person than she’d been in her photos. Tall and slender, with big dark eyes and a cascade of straight blonde
hair. Her lips were lush and red, her cheekbones high and sculpted. Her dress was modestly sexy, a flowing sheath of creamy satin that contrasted beautifully with her olive skin. She looked like a fucking supermodel and exuded an exotic sex appeal.
I accepted the hand towel the bathroom attendant handed me, and Magdalene spoke to the woman in Spanish, asking her to give us some privacy. I capped the request with, “Por favor, gracias.” That earned me an arched brow from Magdalene and a closer examination, which I returned with equal coolness.
“Oh, dear,” she murmured, the moment the attendant stepped out of earshot. She made a tsking noise that scraped over my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. “You’ve fucked her already.”
“And you haven’t.”
That seemed to surprise her. “You’re right, I haven’t. You know why?”
I pulled a five-spot out of my clutch and dropped it in the silver tip tray. “Because she doesn’t want to.”
“And I don’t want to either, because she can’t commit. She’s young, gorgeous, rich, and she’s enjoying it.”
“Yes.” I nodded. “She certainly did.”
Her gaze narrowed, her pleasant expression slipping slightly. “She doesn’t respect the women she fucks. The minute she shoved her dick in you, you were done. Just like all the others. But I’m still here, because I’m the one she wants to keep around for the long haul.”
I maintained my cool even though the blow had been a perfect hit right where the most damage could be done. “That’s pathetic.”
I walked out and didn’t stop until I reached Stanton’s limousine. Squeezing Cary’s hand as I got in, I managed to wait until the car pulled away from the curb to start crying.
____
“Hey, baby girl,” Cary called out when I shuffled into the living room the next morning. Dressed in nothing but a loose pair of old sweats, he was stretched out on the couch with his feet crossed and propped on the coffee table. He looked beautifully disheveled and comfortable in his own skin. “How’d you sleep?”
I gave him the thumbs-up and headed into the kitchen for coffee. I paused by the breakfast bar, my brows lifting at the massive arrangement of red roses on the counter. The fragrance was divine and I inhaled it with a deep breath. “What’s this?”
“They came for you about an hour ago. A Sunday delivery. Pretty and super pricey.”
I plucked the card off the clear plastic stake and opened it.
“I’m still thinking about you.
Lauren”
“From Jauregui?” Cary asked.
“Yes.” My thumb brushed over what I assumed was her handwriting. It was bold and masculine and sexy. A romantic gesture for a girl who didn’t have romance in her repertoire. I dropped the card on the counter as if it’d burned me and fetched a mug of coffee, praying caffeine would give me strength and restore my common sense.
“You don’t seem impressed.” He lowered the volume on the football game he was watching.
“SHe’s bad news for me. SHe’s like one giant trigger. I just need to stay away from her.” Cary had been through therapy with me and he knew the drill. He didn’t look at me funny when I broke things down into therapeutic jargon, and he didn’t have any trouble shooting it back to me the same way.
“The phone’s been ringing all morning, too. I didn’t want it to disturb you, so I shut the volume off.”
Aware of the lingering ache between my legs, I curled up on the couch and fought the compulsion to listen to our voice mail to see if Lauren had called. I wanted to hear her voice, and an explanation that would make sense of what happened last night. “Sounds good to me. Let’s leave it off all day.”
“What happened?”
I blew steam off the top of my mug and took a tentative sip. “I fucked her brains out in her limo and she turned arctic afterward.”
Cary watched me with those worldly emerald eyes, eyes that had seen more than anyone should be subjected to. “Rocked her world, did you?”
“Yeah, I did.” And I got riled up just thinking about it. We’d connected. I knewit. I’d wanted her more than anything last night, and today I wanted nothing to do with her ever again. “It was intense. The best sexual experience of my life, and she was right there with me. I know she was. First time she’d ever made it in a car, and she was kind of resistant at first, but then I got her so hot for it she couldn’t say no.”
“Really? Never?” He ran a hand over his morning stubble. “Most guys scratch car banging off their fuck list in high school. In fact, I can’t think of anyone who didn’t, except for the nerds and fuglies, and she’s neither.”
I shrugged. “I guess car banging makes me a slut.”
Cary grew very still. “Is that what she said?”
“No. sHe didn’t say shit. I got that from her ‘friend,’ Magdalene. You know that chick in most of the photos you printed off the Internet? She decided to sharpen her claws with a little catty girl chat in the bathroom.”
“The bitch is jealous.”
“Sexual frustration. She can’t fuck her, because apparently girls who fuck her go into the discard pile.”
“Did she say that?” Again, fury laced his quiet question.
“Not in so many words. sHe said she doesn’t sleep with her female friends. SHe’s got issues with women wanting more than a good time in the sack, so she keeps the women she bangs and the women she hangs out with in two separate camps.” I took another sip of my coffee. “I warned her that sort of setup wasn’t going to work for me and she said she’d make some adjustments, but I guess she’s one of those people who’ll say whatever’s necessary to get what they wants.”
“Or else you have her running scared.”
I glared. “Don’t make excuses for her. Whose side are you on, anyway?”
“Yours, baby girl.” He reached out and patted my knee. “Always yours.”
I wrapped my hand around his muscular forearm and stroked my fingers gently along the underside in silent gratitude. I couldn’t feel the multitude of fine white scars from cutting that marred his skin, but I never forgot they were there. I was thankful every day that he was alive, healthy, and a vital part of my life. “How’d your night go?”
“I can’t complain.” His eyes took on a mischievous glint. “I shagged that busty blonde in a maintenance closet. Her tits were real.”
“Well, then.” I smiled. “You made her night, I’m sure.”
“I try.” He picked up the phone receiver and winked at me. “What kind of delivery do you want? Subs? Chinese? Indian?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You’re always hungry. If you don’t pick something, I’ll cook and you’ll have to eat that.”
I lifted my hand in surrender. “Okay, okay. You pick.”
____
I got to work twenty minutes early on Monday, figuring I’d skip running into Lauren. When I reached my desk without incident, I felt such relief that I knew I was in serious trouble where she was concerned. My moods were shifting all over the place.
Mark arrived in high spirits, still floating from his major successes of the week before, and we dug right into work. I’d done some vodka market comparisons on Sunday and he was kind enough to go over those with me and listen to my impressions. Mark was also assigned the account for a new e-reader manufacturer, so we began the initial work on that.
With such a busy morning, time flew swiftly and I didn’t have time to think about my personal life. I was really grateful for that. Then I answered the phone and heard Lauren on the line. I wasn’t prepared.
“How’s your Monday been so far?” She asked, her voice sending a shiver of awareness through me.
“Hectic.” I glanced at the clock and was startled to see it was twenty minutes to noon.
“Good.” There was a pause. “I tried calling you yesterday. I left a couple messages. I wanted to hear your voice.”
My eyes closed on a deep breath. It had taken every bit of my willpower to make it through the day without listening to the voice mail. I’d even enlisted Cary in the cause, telling him to restrain me forcibly if it looked like I might succumb to the urge. “I did the hermit thing and worked a little.”
“Did you get the flowers I sent?”
“Yes. They’re lovely. Thank you.”
“They reminded me of your dress.”
What the hell was she doing? I was beginning to think she had multiple personality disorder. “Some women might say that’s romantic.”
“I only care what you say.” Her chair creaked as if she’d pushed to her feet. “I thought about stopping by…I wanted to.”
I sighed, surrendering to my confusion. “I’m glad you didn’t.”
There was another long pause. “I deserved that.”
“I didn’t say it to be a bitch. It’s just the truth.”
“I know. Listen…I arranged for lunch up here in my office so we don’t waste any of the hour leaving and getting back.”
After her parting, I’ll call you, I’d wondered if she would want to get together again after she settled down from whatever trip she’d been on. It was a possibility I’d been dreading since Saturday night, aware that I needed to cut her off, but feeling strung out from the desire to be with her. I wanted to experience again that pure, perfect moment of intimacy we’d shared.
But I couldn’t justify that one moment against all the other moments when she made me feel like crap.
“Lauren, we don’t have any reason to have lunch together. We hashed things out Friday night, and we…took care of business Saturday. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Camila.” Her voice turned gruff. “I know I fucked up. Let me explain.”
“You don’t have to. It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I need to see you.”
“I don’t want—”
“We can do this the easy way, Camila. Or you can make it difficult.” Her tone took on a hard edge that made my pulse quicken. “Either way, you’ll hear me out.”
I closed my eyes, understanding that I wasn’t lucky enough to get away with a quick good-bye phone chat. “Fine. I’ll come up.”
“Thank you.” She exhaled audibly. “I can’t wait to see you.”
I returned the receiver to its cradle and stared at the photos on my desk, trying to formulate what I needed to say and steeling myself for the impact of seeing Lauren again. The ferocity of my physical response to her was impossible to control. Somehow I’d have to get past it and take care of business. Later, I’d think about having to see her in the building over the days, weeks, and months ahead. For the moment, I just had to focus on making it through lunch.
Yielding to the inevitable, I got back to work comparing the visual impact of some blow-in card samples.
“Camila.”
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noona-clock · 4 years
Text
I Never Knew - Part 4
Genre: WWII!AU
Pairing: Brian (Day6) x You (Female!Reader)
Warning: Mentions of war
Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Epilogue | Words: 3,296
*gif courtesy of @cramelot​​​
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As soon as you swung your legs over the side of your bed the next morning, you knew without one single doubt that your father would ask you about your date last night. And he would want details.
I mean, he was a general in the military, first of all. Of course, he wanted all the information he could get. And he was your father, second of all. You were his only daughter -- his only child!
He had always been a bit overprotective, and it had only intensified once your mother passed away. Now that you made up his entire family world, he felt it was his duty to be there for you as much as he possibly could.
...Well. That’s how he put it. In reality, ‘be there for you’ really meant ‘pry into your life.’
He meant well, though, and you loved him dearly.
But, still. It’s not like you were looking forward to telling him about your date with Brian. Telling him you felt like you’d found your soulmate less than two days after meeting him. There’s no way he would take that even remotely well.
You knew he was downstairs at the kitchen table eating breakfast right now, and if you didn’t join him soon... The only times you didn’t come down to join him for breakfast were when you were sick, and when that happened, he always came to check up on you. 
So, either way, you would have to talk to him. And you’d never been able to lie to your father. He was a general, for goodness sake. Not only would he be able to tell you were lying, but he would certainly know how to get the truth out of you eventually.
With a soft but anxious sigh, you stood up and shuffled over to retrieve your robe and slippers.
The second you set foot downstairs you heard your father clear his throat.
That was not a coincidence.
“Good morning, Daddy,” you called out as you made your way down the hallway.
When you appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, your father rose his eyebrows and shot you a grin. “Cupcake!” He sounded like he was surprised to see you -- as if he hadn’t been waiting for you to come downstairs. “Good morning.”
He lifted his mug and took a sip of his coffee as you headed to the fridge for your morning apple. You wondered to yourself how long he could hold out before asking about your date.
And when you slid into the chair across from him just a minute later, you got your answer.
“Did you have a good time last night?” he asked casually, though you knew he was holding himself back from asking about every single detail.
“I did,” you answered with a smile. “A very good time.”
“And this... Brian, is it? He’s --”
“A perfect gentleman,” you interrupted. And you figured you might as well answer his unasked questions, too. “I know I just met him, but I really like him, Daddy. He’s not like any other guy I’ve ever met, and... I don’t know. It just feels... different.”
For some reason, you expected your father to dismiss your feelings and tell you to be careful. He was a more pragmatic sort of man, so you just imagined he wouldn’t believe in something like “love at first sight.”
But, to your surprise, he set down his coffee cup and gazed across the table at you with a very wistful look in his eyes.
“You sound like me when I met your mother,” he said softly. “I knew from the second I laid eyes on her that she was the woman I would fall in love with. From then on, I never thought about anyone else.”
You slowly set your apple down on the placemat in front of you, your brow furrowing gently as you listened to his words.
“...Really?” you whispered.
He nodded, one corner of his lips tugging into a nostalgic half-smile. “I asked her to marry me after a month, and you came along a year later.”
You’d known your parents hadn’t been married long before your mother got pregnant with you, but you hadn’t known they’d gotten engaged after only a month. Neither of them had ever told you that. Or maybe you had just never asked.
But now you were curious. More than curious.
“How did it feel when you met her?” you asked, resting an elbow on the table and leaning forward slightly in your chair.
“Well,” he sighed. “It felt... like I knew my life had just changed. That’s the easiest way to describe it. I just... knew.”
Your heart skipped a beat inside your chest, and you inhaled shakily before saying, “That’s how I feel. Like I just know I’m going to fall in love with him.”
It felt strange saying that to your father, but his smile actually grew after you told him.
“You don’t know how glad I am to hear that,” he said, reaching across and holding out his hand to you. You slid your fingers into his palm, and he grasped them tightly. “The last thing I want is for you to get hurt, but I trust you. I love you. You’re the last piece of your mother I have left, and the only thing I want is for you to be happy.”
Tears filled your eyes as you nodded, the lump of emotion forming in your throat making it difficult to say anything.
And then your father’s gaze quickly transformed into one of stern gravity. “But I’m still going to need to meet this young man to make sure he’s good enough for you.”
A breathless chuckle escaped through your nose, and you murmured, “Yes, of course, Daddy.”
He squeezed your hand once more before letting it go and continuing eating his breakfast. You did the same, picking up your apple and crunching into it. And, as you chewed, you couldn’t stop a smile from pulling at your lips. You’d thought your father would think you were crazy or that he wouldn’t believe you and would forbid you from seeing Brian again. You’d been fairly certain he wouldn’t take your news well... but it had been quite the opposite.
You didn’t normally like to be proven wrong, but in this situation, you were more than delighted.
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Once your father headed off to work, you went back upstairs to get ready for another day of volunteering at the hospital. You intended to stay much longer today, even if you did see Brian visiting his injured chum. Cat, the head nurse, seemed like someone you wanted to become friends with, and you weren’t going to make a good impression on her if you only volunteered for an hour or so at a time.
So, as you approached the hospital doors about twenty minutes later, you resolved to work hard, long, and distraction-free. 
The first person you saw upon opening the door, however, was Cat, who was leaning against the reception desk with a sly smirk on her red lips. And the first thing she said was, “How was your date last night?”
You paused, your head jerking back slightly in surprise. “Uh -- what -- how --”
“I was at the movie theatre,” she told you with a casual half-shrug. “I saw you two, and you looked mighty cozy during that movie.”
Almost instantly, your cheeks began to burn, and they were obviously turning pink because Cat’s smirk became even more sly.
She leaned closer to you, nudging you gently with her elbow and waggling her eyebrows. “How was it, huh? Everything you wanted it to be?”
You let out a breathless chuckle before answering her. “...Everything... and more,” you muttered bashfully.
Cat squealed, much to your embarrassment, and clapped her hands together gleefully. “Oh, I told you I’m a sucker for a good love story!”
And that gave you the perfect segue to change the subject. “Speaking of, didn’t you like the movie?”
Cat let her hands fall to her side, the joy slowly leaving her expression as she shrugged. “It was all right. Cary Grant’s not really my type.”
Unsurprisingly, your brow furrowed deeply and your eyes widened. “Excuse me? He’s not -- what is your type then?!”
Because how could Cary Grant not be someone’s type?!
“He’s too... I don’t want to say masculine, but I don’t know how else to describe it,” she responded. “I like a man I can take care of, not one who wants to take care of me. I’m plenty able to do that myself.”
...Okay, when she put it that way, it made a whole lot more sense. “I’m guessing that’s why you became a nurse,” you pointed out. “So you could take care of people and not the other way around.”
“Precisely,” Cat nodded, her lips curving into a proud grin. “Now, if you’ll follow me, I’ve got some more laundry to fold.”
She turned on her heel, and you began to follow her down the hallway. All this talk of men and types had you curious, though. You weren’t normally one to pry, but... I mean, Cat knew far more about your dating life than anyone else, so you figured it wouldn’t be totally out of line to ask.
“Do you have a boyfriend, then?” you asked. “One whom you can take care of?”
Cat replied with a single, emotionless laugh.
“Let’s just say I’m in-between relationships,” she replied. “Although...”
But then she cut herself off and chuckled out a soft never mind.
“No, what?” you pressed, hoping you weren’t being too rude. “Although...?”
Cat suddenly stopped walking, and you almost ran into her. But before you could apologize, she grasped your wrist and scurried down to the laundry room. She quickly closed the door behind you, her brow furrowed with guilt.
“What?” you asked breathlessly. “What’s going on?”
“It’s... the guy with the broken leg,” she whispered. “I know I shouldn’t be falling for patients, but he’s just really handsome, and he reminds me of a little kitten, and the way he smiles at me gets my heart all in a knot.”
You stared at her for a few moments, absolutely speechless. Cat seemed like the strong, independent, unflappable type of girl who can expertly flirt with a guy and he won’t even know she’s flirting with him. And here she was, wringing her hands nervously and talking about kittens and knotted hearts.
“I --”
“I think he likes me, too,” she continued. “I just -- I don’t know what to do.”
You blinked before you finally found words. “I mean -- I think you should tell him. You said it was the guy with the broken leg?”
Cat nodded.
“Brian’s friend?”
She nodded again.
A smile pulled at your lips, and you took Cat’s hands, holding them reassuringly. “He told me yesterday -- Brian told me that his friend likes you. His exact words were ‘he’s carryin’ a real big torch.’ That you’ve got gumption, and that’s exactly what he likes in a woman. You need to tell him how you feel!”
Cat’s brow furrowed even more, and a hesitant frown curved her red lips. “I don’t know...”
“He just broke his leg, right?” you urged. “He won’t be staying here long. If you really don’t want to confess to him now, just give him hints.”
“But I have!” she replied. “I’ve smiled and let my touches linger and given him chocolate pudding with every meal!”
“Okay... Then... Maybe just tell him you want to go out once he’s no longer a patient?”
Cat pursed her lips at you, releasing her hands from your hold and crossing her arms over her chest. “That’s the same as confessing.”
You were about to make another suggestion, but Cat’s gasp cut you off.
“I know!” she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. “You -- you can bring him his lunch and talk about me and make it obvious that I’m interested. And then once he’s discharged, he can ask me out.”
You had jumped back a little when she’d said ‘you’ -- her voice had been very insistent, and she’d pointed right at you.
But... it really wasn’t a bad idea.
“I can do that,” you nodded. “Bringing a patient’s meal is definitely something I’ve done as a volunteer. Many times.”
Cat broke out into a smile, and before you knew it, she’d stepped up to you and enveloped you in a hug. “Oh, thank you,” she squealed softly. “This means we’re friends now, and I promise I will return the favor.”
“No sweat,” you chuckled, lifting your arms and squeezing her back. “What’s a favor between friends?”
“All right,” Cat said, pulling back and grinning at you. “Let’s get this laundry done. We should be done just before lunchtime.”
“I’ll make sure we are,” you replied, taking a page from Cat’s book and shooting her a sly wink.
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“Lunchtime,” you announced as you approached the hospital bed, carrying a tray of food and hoping your nerves weren’t too obvious.
The patient, whose name you had learned was Wonpil, pushed himself into a seated position, and you couldn’t help but notice he had a very disappointed frown on his lips.
“Where’s Cat?” he asked as you carefully set the tray down on his lap.
“She’s... she’s a little busy right now,” you explained, not meeting his eye so he wouldn’t know you were lying. “I’m a volunteer, so I offered to deliver lunch today.”
Wonpil’s frown immediately disappeared, his brows lifting in surprise. “Oh -- you’re -- Brian’s --”
You felt your cheeks begin to warm, and you continued to avoid Wonpil’s gaze. “Y--yes,” you chuckled. “I guess he told you when he came to visit you yesterday?”
Wonpil nodded quickly, his lips now curved into the sweetest smile. Now you knew why Cat had called him a kitten; he was probably the most adorable guy you’d ever seen.
“I’m Wonpil,” he greeted, holding his hand out toward you.
You took it delicately, shaking it and introducing yourself in turn.
“Thank you for my lunch,” Wonpil grinned. “Even though Cat didn’t bring it, I’m glad I got to meet you.”
“Me too,” you replied with a shy smile. And then you inhaled deeply because this was your chance. You sat on the edge of his bed, smoothing your dress over your lap. “Speaking of Cat, though... Brian told me you... have a thing for her?”
Wonpil had been looking at the food on his tray, but upon hearing your question, his gaze snapped up to meet yours. His lips were now curved down, his forehead wrinkled.
“He told you that?”
“Well... yeah,” you said, laughing softly. “But it’s kind of obvious. You’ve mentioned her twice already.”
“...Oh, yeah.” Wonpil chuckled guiltily and shrugged.
“I hope I’m not overstepping, but... I think you should go for it,” you told him, hoping you sounded as casual as you were trying to. “I think you’re going to be discharged any day now, and in my humble opinion, the first thing you should do once you are is... ask her out.”
“I... should?” he asked cautiously.
You nodded, shooting him an encouraging grin. “She told me she likes --”
You were about to tell him what she’d really told you: she likes guys she can take care of. But the only thing you really knew about Wonpil right now was that he was in the hospital. He didn’t know Cat had told you about him, so you probably shouldn’t mention any of that.
“She told me she likes guys with really adorable smiles,” you finished. “And I think you have a pretty adorable smile.”
That adorable smile of his instantly appeared, his eyes lighting up with hope. “Really? You think I’d really have a chance if I asked her out?”
“I really think so,” you assured him.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”
You jumped a little at the sudden interruption, standing up and turning to see Brian -- a smirking Brian -- walking toward Wonpil’s bed. Your heart immediately skipped about five beats, and you pressed your lips together to stop an incredibly giddy smile from forming on your lips.
“Y/N brought me my lunch,” Wonpil answered. “And she told me to ask out the nurse I’ve been falling for.”
Brian’s eyebrows rose, and he shot you a questioning glance. “Oh, did she?”
Wonpil nodded vigorously. “I think I’m going to once I’m discharged.”
Brian held out one hand then, flashing a piece of paper he was holding. “Speaking of, the receptionist gave me these.”
“What are those?” Wonpil inquired curiously.
“Your discharge papers! You can leave once you finish your lunch,” Brian grinned.
Wonpil’s eyes widened, and he froze for a moment... but then he quickly picked up the sandwich on his tray and stuffed it into his mouth.
Brian chuckled, shaking his head a little before taking a step closer to you.
Your heart began to beat double-time, and the corners of your lips tugged up into a soft smile.
“Hey,” he greeted quietly.
“Hi,” you replied. “How are you?”
“I’m great, though I’m doing even better now.”
Your heart jumped a little, and you let out an almost silent giggle.
Brian’s expression then turned a bit more serious, and he knit his eyebrows together before he asked, “Hey, while he’s stuffin’ his face over there... can I talk to you?”
His urgent tone was pretty obvious, and it made your stomach drop down to your feet. He had just told you he was doing even better now that he was in your presence, so it couldn’t be anything bad... right? But why did he sound so grave?
You simply nodded, and Brian reached out to gently grasp your elbow. He led you to the next bed over, tugging at the curtain so you could have a bit of privacy.
“Listen,” he started, making your stomach even more fluttery. “There’re rumors goin’ around that... we’ll be shipping out sometime soon. I don’t know if it’s true, and if it is, I don’t know when... I just... “
His gaze pierced into yours, and you didn’t even realize you were holding your breath -- but you most definitely were.
“I want to spend as much time as I can with you before that happens.”
You let out that breath, exhaling with relief. Although, you weren’t really relieved that he was probably going to be leaving soon... but you weren’t going to think too much about that right now.
“Okay,” you whispered, tipping your head into a tiny nod. “Yes. Me too.”
Brian broke out into a smile, and he leaned in to press his lips to your cheek. He lingered there, the tip of his nose brushing against your skin. You felt his eyelashes flutter against your cheekbone, and it sent a delicious chill down your spine.
“I gotta help Wonpil get back to base, and then I have some work to do... but how about dinner again tonight?”
You nodded again, but then a thought popped into your head. “I -- I’m sure my dad won’t mind.”
Hopefully, he wouldn’t mind.
Brian froze for just a moment, a flash of panic darting through his gaze. “...Oh. I... didn’t really think about that.”
Another thought popped into your head. It might have been a crazy one, but you voiced it, anyway.
“Why don’t you come over to my house instead?” you asked, your eyebrows lifting with expectation and curiosity.
Brian froze yet again.
“...Go... to your house? And... have dinner. With you. And your father. The... new general?”
He gulped anxiously.
Part 5
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Text
CSI: Rogers and Barnes The Serious Cereal Serial Killer
Prologue: Aye Aye Captain.
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Series Intro: Captain Steve Rogers and Sergeant James ‘Bucky’ Barnes are hot on the tail of Brooklyn’s latest criminal- The Serious Cereal Serial Killer. Captain Rogers assembles the best officers from the Brooklyn 101 Murder Unit. This specialist team, nicknamed The Avengers, are working in the dark as the killer leaves behind no clues, other than their choice of murder weapon- whichever beige cereal he/she chooses.
The team are in a race against time as the bodies begin to mount. Can they catch the perp before it’s too late?
Episode Summary: There’s a lake, and Steve’s in a suit. Someone he clearly has feelings for appears and we get the impression that he may have done something a little bit dumbassy… Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. Dark Comedy themes.  CSI:NY + Brooklyn 99 = CSI: Steeb!
Episode Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark (will they, won’t they, did they???)
Song for Episode:  Alien by Cary Brothers  
A/N: Inspired by THAT picture of Mr Evans on set in his suit by the lake, myself and @icanfeelastormbrewing put our heads together and we present to you CSI: Rogers and Barnes- The Serious Serial Cereal Killer. I really hope you’re ready because this is a journey into our very, very odd minds but we promise there is a decent plot underneath all our Avengers and Stark Spangled Banner Easter Eggs and jokes! You don’t need to have read that series to understand or enjoy this, but we’ve used the Universe to spin this from. 
Our knowledge of American Policing is limited, so bear with us if we slip up, but at the end of the day this is a fiction so we’ll claim any mistakes as creative license!!
Episodes will be given individual warnings, summaries, pairings and songs so please pay attention to those.
PLEASE REBLOG and COMMENT! 
Tags are open. 
CSI Rogers and Barnes Master List 
 Main Masterlist 
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“Nice suit, punk.” Sergeant James Barnes smiled at his Captain, Steve Rogers, who sighed, dropping his hands to his hips.
“You’re a jerk, Bucky” Steve replied simply, eyeing his best friend through his Aviators, a small smile playing on his face.
“Ready for your big speech?” Bucky questioned.
Steve took a breath and looked around. It was a gorgeous, sunny May evening. The Lakehouse which had been hired by the NYPD for the Ceremony was full of people all milling around inside and out. 
“Yeah.” he nodded “I think so.”
“Think so ain’t gonna cut it Steve.” Bucky chuckled “You got half the force out there. The Deputy Commissioner, the Commissioner…” “Buck, just don’t” Steve sighed “I’m well aware of who’s here, thanks.” “Well it’s hardly surprising…” Bucky said, taking a pull from his beer “It was a pretty big case. Thanos and The Children were terrorising Brooklyn for years. “And it was the 101that put him away.” Steve smiled “It was a good team effort.” “You gonna take that time out?” Bucky asked. Steve shrugged.
“I dunno.” 
“You work too hard.” “Criminals don’t exactly take time out because we want to a holiday you know.” Steve said, looking at him. “I’m sure the Unit wouldn’t fall apart if you took a week out.” Bucky said “Stark’s right, you need to get a life man.” “Fuck you.” Steve shot back and Bucky snorted a laugh. 
“Whatever.” 
At that point, Deputy Commissioner Nick Fury approached them, and Steve nodded to him
“Sir.” 
“They’re ready for you now Captain.” he said “You do your speech and then Senator Ross will join you on stage to hand out the Commendation to you and your Unit.” “Yes Sir.” he nodded.
“Knock ‘em dead Punk.” Bucky smiled, and Steve shot him one last look, before he took off his aviators and tucked them into his pocket, Bucky making his way to his seat.
He passed by the other members of his specialist unit, smiling as he went. Detectives Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff aka Clintasha on account of them hardly ever being apart, Patrol Officer Odinson, aka the Bungalow on account of him ‘not having much upstairs’ according to Bucky (which was ironic seeing a the guy was about 8 feet tall) and then on to his support staff- Tony Stark and Bruce Banner his forensic experts aka the Science Brothers, their Assistant Peter Parker, Sam Wilson, the lead Pathologist and Police Technician Wanda Maximoff. 
After acknowledging them all, he walked up the steps to the stage to a round of applause and wolf whistles, and smiling he pulled his pre-written speech out of his pocket. 
“Thank you.” he spoke into the microphone, squinting slightly against the sun “It’s my pleasure to welcome you to this celebration of achievement for the Brooklyn 101 and their efforts which led to the removal of a dangerous crime lord from our streets.” he paused as Clint gave a little cheer, followed by a shout.
“Go Avengers!”
More cheering and Steve smiled at his team before signalling with his large hands for them to settle down. As the noise died down he cleared his throat and glanced down at his notes again. 
Bucky watched him, smiling to himself. Steve was good a public speaker, his ability to command an audience and simply make people listen was one of the many reasons he had risen through the ranks so quickly, alongside the fact that he had an impressive ability to manage people and a huge number of solved crimes to his name. Bucky was incredibly proud of his best friend. The tall, broad man on the stage was a far cry from that skinny little blonde haired punk he had grown up with, bailing out of fights constantly on the streets they had roamed as kids. 
Steve caught Bucky’s eye, and his Sergeant flashed him a wink and he smiled before continuing.
“Months of hard work, long days and even longer nights went into putting Thanos away. And each and every single member of the 101 had a huge role to play. From Sergeant Barnes who commanded and led the team to Wanda who kept all our paperwork and reports water tight. No matter how meaningless you may have felt your contribution seemed on the outside, every single bit of it was influential in bringing Thanos to justice, and he I am over the moon to be able to thank you all for your efforts and service today.”
He paused and looked out and that was when he spotted her, gently weaving her way through the crowd that was stood up at the back of the seats. Not that it took much effort, he could have found those big green emeralds among millions of people. Her hair was different, not only shorter, but different. It curled round her left ear and her bangs swept across her face sweeping down and finishing in a longer point along the right hand side of her jaw. But those eyes were piercing through him the same way that they had always done. Steve had seen them shine with excitement, sparkle with laughter, darken with lust and close with utter bliss… he had also seen them water with disappointment and shrink with anger.
Just like they were doing now.
Steve had always been one for containment and keeping his emotions at bay, he was the righteous Captain everyone in his team looked up to after all and couldn't afford to let his emotions get in the way. At that moment though he struggled to focus on the page in his hands which he was surprised to find were shaking slightly.  With a deep breath he steeled himself, cleared his throat and resumed his speech. Had he let that scrawny Brooklyn kid he once was come out, he would have stayed there slack jawed with nothing to say.
Bucky sensed something was off, he knew Steve too well not to notice. He turned around to follow his best friend gaze only to find a brunette young woman with gorgeous green eyes dressed in a sleeveless dark green cocktail dress adorned with little golden pineapples. Bucky turned back to the front and glanced at Natasha, whose sharp eye had also noticed Steve’s reaction. Bucky shrugged and motioned with his head to the back of the seats where the woman was stood. Natasha glanced back and her eyebrows shot up in surprise. She nudged Clint who turned to look, before he shared an imperceptible knowing glance with Natasha. 
Ok, so they knew who she was. Bucky still had no idea. 
When Steve finished his speech and the crowd erupted in a big round of applause, Senator Ross approached his spot on the stage and handed out the Commendation, giving Steve a brief hug and pat him on the back. Steve then showed it to his team mates who were now stood, cheering him from the front row under the stage and that was when Bucky saw Katie approach Tony, dropping a kiss to his cheek. As he looked at the faint resemblance between the two, understanding suddenly flooded his system. This had to be Katie Stark, the youngest child of the late Commander Howard Stark, Steve’s one time boss and mentor.
As Steve was dragged to the side for photos with the Senator and Chief, he continued to watch the unit out of the side of his eye. Tony said something to Katie’s ear as his arm curled round her shoulders and that smile Steve would have died for threatened to spread across her pretty face. Steve swallowed, and allowed himself to be rearranged for more photos with the Senator and Chief, before all to soon he was being dismissed to leave the spotlight to mingle with his friends to celebrate. 
Get yourself together Steve, you can do this.
He took a moment to inhale deeply and give himself a pep talk, before he drew himself tall and walked over to where the members of the 101st .and Katie were.
As he approached he saw Thor sweep Katie into a huge hug and drop a kiss to her cheek. "Little Stark, you look fantastic. It's good to see you." "You too big guy" she grinned before she stepped forward to hug Clint and Natasha, her one time team mates "and you two." Steve shuffled uncomfortably, his collar and tie felt real tight. His hands slipped into his pockets and he rocked to and fro on the balls of his feet, a little tick he had whenever he got nervous. One that didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky. 
"Not that we're not happy to see you but...what you doing here?" Clint asked, releasing her. "Was on a rare few days off and came to visit Tone" she said, smiling at her brother. "He insisted I come...share your success. Was a pretty big case you guys smashed." "Well me and Bruce were the ones that actually linked him to 30 crimes forensically but I don’t wanna brag..." Tony quipped and Katie rolled her eyes. "And he’s so modest about it too." Bucky grinned, flashing a huge smile at the girl in front of him "James Barnes, Bucky." "Pleasure to finally meet you Bucky." She smiled "I heard a lot about you. I'm Katie, Tony's sister." "You're Howard's daughter?" Bucky cocked his head to one side and she nodded. "Your dad was a legend. Sucks what happened to him and your mom. Choking on fondue...no way to go." "Thanks. He was good man." Katie said. And then her eyes flickered to the blonde Captain who took a deep breath as her green eyes grew colder. "Hi Katie" he said softly.
"Captain Rogers." Her reply was a little curt, and it cut him to the bone that she could be cold towards him, especially after everything they had been through over the past almost 10 years. But deep down he couldn't blame her. He had been a total jerk. He deserved her indignation.
“How are you?” he asked. 
“Good thank you.” she said. 
“I hear you made Sergeant.” he said, and she nodded. 
“Yeah, month or so back.” “Congratulations, you deserve it.” “Yeah, thanks, err…” She turned to Tony “Any chance we can get a drink, I’m gasping.” “For you kiddo, anything. Anyone else want one?”
Pretty much the entire unit nodded and they headed off to the bar leaving Steve and Bucky alone.
“Ok…” Bucky turned to his friend “What the fuck was that about?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Steve sighed, looking back at him.
“Bull crap.” Bucky shot back “I thought you and here were fiends. When I was in Russia, for 5 years all I got was emails and shit telling me about her and what you’d been up to…now she looks like she wants to kill you.” Steve snorted “She probably does.”  
“Wait, did you…” Bucky frowned, before his mouth fell open “You did didn’t you! You slept with Howard’s daughter!” “Shhhhh keep your voice down.” Steve hissed.
“Was that before or after he died?” “Bucky shut up.” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, looking at his friend. 
“Does Tony know?”
Steve gave a derisive laugh “Do you think I’d still be alive if he did?”
“Good point, he’d have probably designed some kind of murder-bot to kill you in your sleep…” Bucky mused. “You sly little punk, I didn’t know you had it in you. Well, she had it in her more like, but that’s by the by…”
“Buck, I swear to God…” Steve’s nostrils flared at his friend’s crassness and Bucky gave a howl of a laugh.
“I’m just toying with ya Stevie…I’m impressed. She’s hot.”
“Not a word.” Steve glared at his friend as the unit started to make their way back, various beers and glasses of wine clutched in their hand.
Bucky mimed a zip closing across his mouth and smiled, slightly surprised as Natasha handed both him and Steve a beer.
“Thought you might need a drink.” Natasha said quietly to Steve, shooting him a knowing look as Clint did the same. Steve groaned, he should have known. Nothing got past Clintasha. He swore the pair of them had been fucking spies or secret agents in a past life.
“So Katie…” Clint turned to the youngest Stark. “How’s DC?”
She smiled “I love it. It’s a beautiful place. Not home though.” “She misses me.” Tony interjected and Katie slapped him on his shoulder, rolling her eyes.
“Like a hole in the head.” 
Bucky laughed “What made you move over there?” he asked, ignoring the deep breath of annoyance from Steve to his left.
“Well, I wanted my Sergeant stripes” she said, nonchalantly “I was told there was no progression available in the 101st so imagine my chagrin when they replaced me with one.” Steve bristled slightly but he didn’t reply.
“Wait…I was your replacement?” Bucky frowned, looking at Steve.
“It wasn’t like that.” Steve said gently “The budget for a sergeant was only provided to me after you left Katie.” “Sure.” she shrugged “Anyway, it’s irrelevant now. The position in the SHIELD unit was too good to turn down so…” “Yeah you guys got a good result on the Mandarin Case.” Peter Parker looked at Katie 
“It was hard going…” she nodded “I was undercover pretty much for a month, hence the haircut.” “Ha Steve knows all about being undercover….” Bucky snorted 
“Shut up.” Steve said.
“What?” Bucky looked at him innocently “I was merely referring to your impressive moustache man…” Steve gave a groan as the unit began to laugh.
“As part of the Thanos op, Steve had to infiltrate the gang.” Tony looked at Katie who was frowning, not understanding the reference. “He basically shaved his beard off but left this God awful tache…he looked like a 1970s German Pornstar.” Katie snorted “Beard murdering…” she looked at Steve who simply shrugged giving her a small smile.
“Yeah well its coming back.” he shrugged, gently stroking his chin where there was a faint smattering of stubble.
“Hmmm.” she made a small noise, and then looked around, and smiled with a wave as Deputy Fury caught her eyes “Excuse me guys, I’ll be back in a moment.”
Steve watched her leave before he turned back to his team listening to their conversation.  But he couldn’t focus. Just seeing her again was enough to send his head into an absolute whirl. She looked amazing, not that she hadn’t always. Maybe it was the fact he hadn’t seen her for 5 months that was making it worse. But all he could remember was her touch, the way her head would rest against his chest when he hugged her, the smell of her shampoo, the softness of her hand when she would take his…and then the feel of her lips on his, the smoothness of her skin…
Fuck! He had been a grade A jack ass.
Steve took another long pull from his bottle of Stella and looked around. Katie was just finishing a conversation with Fury and Pierce, before she excused herself and headed for the bar after shaking hands with both men. 
Now or never, Rogers…
"I’m, err, going to get a refill..." speaking for the first time as he showed his team mates his almost empty beer bottle, "be right back."
“Course you are…” Bucky mumbled, as he watched Steve slope off. He turned to Natasha.
“So what’s the deal…” he asked, dropping his voice and turning side on to face her so that Tony wasn’t looking. “I mean I kinda figured something went down but…” “Well we don’t know for sure…” Natasha said “But they went home together after the Christmas party in December. Was a long time coming, they’d been dodging around each other for years.” “Yeah, both dating other people when it was clearly obvious they were head over heels for one another.” Clint added. 
“But it got frosty. Like real frosty and she put in for a transfer request.”
Bucky sighed and looked over at Steve who was now stood by the woman. Stevie had always been useless with women, Bucky had all the luck in that department when they were growing up. That was until Steve went to University and discovered the Gym and signed up for an experimental Nutritional Programme called ‘Operation Rebirth’. 3 months later Steve’s physique had changed dramatically. Gone was the lanky, twig thin kid and in his place was a stocky, ripped, 6ft 2 adonis. Frankly it had put Bucky’s nose well out of joint as the women flocked around him. But he needn’t have bothered, he was still as fucking hopeless has he always had been,
And seemed he still was.
“What?” a voice said, and Bucky turned to see Tony stood there, looking at them, his brown eyes flashing as he glanced from Natasha to Clint and then to him. 
Shit. 
****************
When Steve reached the spot by the bar where Katie was waiting patiently for her Martini to be served (made with gin, obviously, he recalled as he had bought her enough- I’m not a heathen, Steve…) he gently touched her forearm and she turned around slowly with a sigh to face him. Steve know she had sensed his presence even before he touched her, she always could. Many years of friendship did that to you.
"Are you avoiding me?"  he asked lightly.
"Does that surprise you?" she replied looking at him directly in the eyes.
"No, not really." he said looking shyly at the grass beneath his shiny black oxfords. With a sigh he looked back up, straight into those deep green orbs "Look, Katie, I hate how we ended things, I..."
"How WE ended things?" she cut in, "Are you for real? I didn't end anything, Steve, because there wasn’t actually anything to end was there? You made sure of that!" 
"I'm sorry, Katie, I truly am." he spoke again.
"Sorry for what exactly?" she fired back.
She was pissed. He could sense it in the rising tone of her voice and the way her eyes seemed to squint in the way they always did when she was winding up for an argument. He had to do something before they attracted too much attention and Tony made an entrance.
"Look, can we maybe go for a walk by the lake?" he looked at her, his eyes pleading. "We can talk and errm..." 
She sighed "Fine."  and with that she started to make her way through the rest of the people at the reception heading towards the calm water.  Once they reached a spot under a tree near a small jetty she stopped and turned to look at him. 
"What do you want, Steve?" she asked shielding her eyes with her right hand from the sun that was beginning to set.
"To check in. I care about you, Katie" he answered looking at her with an almost apologetically.
"So, you care about me.” She snorted “That's rich."
"Of course, I do!" he almost yelled. "We've been best friends for what, almost ten years?" 
“Were, Steve.” she stared at him, “Past Tense…”
He took a deep breath and looked away, the lump in his throat growing even larger. Her words feeling like a slap in the face, but he wasn’t sure exactly what else he had expected. Things hadn’t been the same. They hadn’t actually spoken since she had left for DC. And he was the reason she had left, regardless of how she dressed it up and pretended otherwise to everyone else.
He looked back at her, and saw her eyes. They bored right through him, a mixture of anger and melancholy.
He had to try and fix this, he had to….
“Look, Katie, I know you must hate me..."
"Steve..." she said putting a hand over his forearm, before pulling it back immediately, almost like it had been an involuntary reaction. And the fact she wasn’t comfortable showing him that type of friendly affection anymore made him feel even shittier than he already did.  "I..."  she was fumbling with the words and he remained silent whilst he waited for her to gather her thoughts. “You know what, you’re right, I did hate you. I hated what you did but…you know what the worst thing about all of this was?”
He looked at her waiting for her to continue.
“Was that I mostly hated myself" she finished quietly, her voice beginning to break and she looked away.
Steve was aghast at her statement. "Wha... what do you mean?" he asked stuttering. He wasn't prepared for something like that. Over the last few months his mined had conjured thousands of possible conversations and things she would say to him when they finally met each other again…but not that.
"I hated myself for letting you in, Steve" she inhaled deeply before looking back at him and continuing, trying to keep the tears at bay. "You knew how long it took me to get over Grant, you knew what that bastard did to me because you were there, you were my best friend. You wiped my tears, held me when I cried myself to sleep, you helped me pick up the pieces of myself,  told me I was worth more. But then, when it came down to it…I clearly wasn’t, not to you anyway.” 
Steve couldn't stand her gaze and looked down to his shoes, jaw clenching. "Katie, I..." he started to speak but did he know what to say? 
"Let me finish, let me say this, Steve, please." she pleaded. "I trusted you, you knew how I felt about you, and you know how much it took to tell you that and let you in…" she swallowed hard "You broke through every goddamned wall I put up around me and what’s more, you broke me too."
"Breaking your heart was never my intention, doll" was the only thing he managed to say, swallowing thickly. He didn't even know how he could have possibly formed those words in his brain and actually uttered them, he was numb and wanted to tell her she meant so much to him, so much more than she could ever imagine…but the words just wouldn’t come. 
"But you did." she said quietly, tears now threatening to spill. "And I need time to heal, Steve. There’s not going back from what happened. We can’t just go back to being best friends and hanging out…it doesn’t work like that.”
“Kiddo?” They both jerked a little at Tony’s voice as he approached. She hastily wiped at her eyes and Steve stood back, taking a deep breath. “You two alright?” “Yeah, just catching up.” Katie said, smiling at Tony. 
“Huh, that what they call it?” Tony said, his voice somewhat steely and Steve felt himself blanche. He turned to Tony but before he could say anything, the man’s fist had connected with his face, cracking his nose, making him reel backwards.
“Tony!” he heard Katie say, loudly, and as Steve recovered from the blow he looked up to see her stood with her hands on his chest, pushing him away gently.
“I can’t believe you, you son of a bitch!” Tony was spewing, glaring at Steve. The Captain was relieved to see that Bucky and Thor were hastily making their way over. They were well enough removed from the crowd for this not to be seen, thankfully. 
“Stark…” Thor said in his deep breath “Come on, calm down…” “Calm down, calm down?” Tony’s face contorted with fury “I just find out, he slept with my sister, and then…”
“I’m a big girl Tony.” Katie said gently “I don’t need you fighting my battles for me, not like I did when we were kids…”
“I knew there was a reason you ran off to DC, and all the time it’s been him!” he said, looking at her, before he glared back at Steve. “You’re a piece of shit, Rogers…”
Steve waved off Bucky who had stepped forward to check he was ok. 
“Come on…” Katie said, pushing Tony’s chest, “Time we left…” With that she turned to Thor and Bucky, gave them both a smile before she locked eyes with the Captain “Bye, Steve" she said turning around and beginning to walk away with Tony.  Steve could do nothing else but watch as she walked out of his life for the second time in less than 6 months. 
“I’m sorry” Bucky looked at his friend as he wiped at his bleeding nose with a handkerchief. “He overheard me and Natasha and…”
“I’m surprised it’s stayed a secret as long as it has.” Steve sighed “I deserved it, he’s right, I am a piece of shit.”
“We all do stupid shit bud.” Thor said, “Doesn’t make us bad people.” Bucky looked at Thor “That’s pretty smart for you.”
“I have my moments.” Thor shrugged, before he frowned “Unless you’re my brother, of course. He is inherently bad…but that’s another story.”
There was a pause, and then Bucky looked at Steve.
“Think you need another drink.” he said, clapping him on the shoulder. “I’ll go grab you one.”
Steve smiled, knowing full well it was Bucky’s way of saying “I’ll give you a moment…”
His friend squeezed his shoulder before he turned and walked away leaving Steve stood, looking out across the lake. The tall blonde stood there, mulling the conversation they’d just had over and over in his mind. He knew he’d hurt her but now he understood the extent of that, he hated himself even more. 
Steve Rogers was a man of honesty and principles. A man who believed that you faced up to your actions and took the consequences whatever they were, not merely hid from them. But here he had gone against every single thing he stood for. He’d let Katie walk away all those months ago without so much as a fight. Because it was easier, easier than being honest and explaining why he had done what he had done.  
If time travel was possible, he’d go back and do everything differently.
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introvertguide · 4 years
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North by Northwest (1959); AFI #55
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The next film for review was the Hitchcock classic North by Northwest (1959). This movie has possibly the most well known surprise attack scene in American cinema involving a crop duster. I know, it sounds great. The film was moderately successful at the box office and marked the one and only time that Alfred Hitchcock worked with MGM. It was also only one of two VistaVision films made at the studio. Hitchcock was not a man to let studios mess with his work, so he famously refused to cut 15 minutes out of the movie for time and instead cut a total of 5 seconds worth of material. Before I go into any more detail, I feel like this is bordering quickly on spoilers so let me get the warning and the synopsis out of the way:
SPOILER ALERT!!!! THIS IS A GREAT MOVIE THAT I KNOW VERY WELL AND FEEL LIKE IT SHOULD BE SEEN BEFORE IT IS DISCUSSED!!! I AM GOING TO GO OVER THE FILM IN GREAT DETAIL SO CHECK IT OUT BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER!!!
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The whole story begins with a case of mistaken identity. Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) is an advertising executive who is going to lunch to have a business meeting. He sits down and then remembers he needs to phone his mother so he summons the waiter to ask about a phone. Apparently the waiter had just received a call for a spy named George Kaplan and some thugs are waiting for a signal that will identify the man. Thornhill’s signal is mistaken for the spy’s and the thugs move in and take away the ad exec at gunpoint. They go to the home of U.N. Diplomat Lester Townsend and Thornhill is interrogated by a spy named Philip Vandamm (James Mason) and his right hand man Leonard (Martin Landau). Thornhill tries to say he is innocent, but Vandamm and the thugs do not believe him and stage his death by drunken car accident. Thornhill survives and escapes by car, but he is still drunk and is subsequently stopped and arrested by the Glen Cove police for drunk driving.  
Thornhill sleeps off his intoxication at the station and calls his mother to get in contact with their lawyer. The next day, Thornhill tells the local court everything that he remembers happening, but nobody believes him. He even takes them back to the house and a woman claiming to be Townsend’s wife acts like Thornhill was there for a party and left drunk. Thornhill has to pay the fine (a whole $2), but he is still curious.
Thornhill and his mother go back to the restaurant where he was kidnapped and finagle their way up into the attached hotel to find the real spy, George Kaplan. It turns out that nobody has ever seen this man in person so everybody just assumes that Thornhill is Kaplan since he showed up at the room. The thugs have returned and try to recapture Thornhill still thinking he is Kaplan, but Thornhill is able to escape. He goes and visits the UN to talk to Townsend in an effort to shine a light on the situation, but Townsend is confused and says that his wife died many years ago. Suddenly, a knife is thrown into the back of Townsend and all the witnesses around think that Thornhill did it as there is nobody else to blame. Thornhill again escapes and is now running away and trying to find Kaplan in hopes of clearing his name.
I very quick scene of an American intelligence agency meeting reveals that Kaplan never existed and that this was a made up spy to keep Vandamm occupied while they figure out his plans. It is unfortunate for Thornhill, but all agree that he will have to become Kaplan and more than likely die by the hands of Vandamm and his men. Thornhill is unaware of this meeting and continues to run around looking for this non-existent spy.
Thornhill is able to sneak on a train to go to Chicago since he believes that Kaplan is at a hotel there. He runs into a lovely blonde named Eve Kendall (Eva Marie Saint) who seems aggressively interested in him and wants to help him hide out. She knows that he is the man who is being blamed for the murder of the UN diplomat and she seems to want to sleep with him (like a groupie)? She is very straight forward and it turns out that this is because she is working for Vandamm, who is also on the train.
In the morning, Eve helps Thornhill arrange a meeting with the non-existent Kaplan at an isolated rural bus stop outside of the Chicago. Thornhill gets there and finds...nothing? A guy shows up but he is just waiting for the next bus. The only thing around is a biplane crop duster that seems to be dusting empty fields. It dramatically turns and swoops down at Thornhill firing a backloaded machine gun. Thornhill is able to hide in the fields and then manages to get under a passing oil truck, which the biplane smashes into and eventually explodes. 
Thornhill steals a truck and reaches Kaplan's hotel in Chicago to discover that Kaplan had already checked out and left before the time when Eve claimed she talked to him on the phone. Thornhill goes to her room and confronts her and she plays naïve.  She tries to run away while he is changing clothes, but he quickly follows her down to an auction where he finds her with Vandamm. He insults her coldly and then makes his escape from Vandamm by turning himself in, but the police strangely won’t take him to the station and instead leave him in the care of a man simply called The Professor (Lee Carroll). 
The professor finally reveals to Thornhill that Kaplan doesn’t exist and that Eve is actually a government agent working for the U.S. It is also explained that Vandamm has some sort of evidence/information that he is trying to take out of the country and will be leaving by plane from his South Dakota home that is in the woods right next to Mount Rushmore. The Professor leaves Thornhill to play the role of Kaplan and negotiates for Eve at the Mount Rushmore visitor center and she seemingly shoots him to look good in front of Vandamm. Luckily the gun is loaded with blanks (remember this gun, it will come back).
Afterwards, the Professor arranges for Thornhill and Eve to meet and Thornhill learns that she must depart with Vandamm and Leonard on a plane. When Thornhill tries to dissuade her from going, he is knocked unconscious by another one of The Professor’s men and locked in a hospital room. Thornhill is able to escape (he gets out of everything) custody and goes to Vandamm's house to rescue Eve from leaving.
At the house, Thornhill sneaks around and overhears that the sculpture that Vandamm bought at the auction holds some kind of microfilm. Leonard also reveals to Vandamm that the gun was a blank and it is decided that Eve will be killed on the plane. Thornhill must keep Eve from getting on the plane so he gives her a note revealing the plot. She is being lead out to the plane and she makes a break for it, meets Thornhill, and they climb out on to Mount Rushmore to escape. The Professor rushes in with his men and arrests Vandamm while also shooting Leonard. 
Unfortunately, Eve has slipped climbing around on the president faces and Thornhill is attempting to pull her back to safety when...he is now suddenly pulling her onto a foldout train bed and he is calling her Mrs. Thornhill. The train enters a tunnel and the movie ends.
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This was the fourth and lowest rated Hitchcock film on the AFI top 100, but I opine that it is the most fun. The constant escapes and the almost relatable situation of a businessman getting wrapped up in something of which he wanted no part of makes this a very easy watch. There really are no slow points in this film and the action is punctuated by good comedy. Drunken Thornhill trying to explain what happened and then desperately bidding at an auction to bide time for an escape his hilarious. My favorite line in the film is when Thornhill and The Professor are waiting at the Mount Rushmore visitor center and Thornhill looks through a viewing scope and says “I don’t like the way that Teddy Roosevelt is looking at me.” That is awesome. 
As much as Alfred Hitchcock was the Master of Suspense and the King of Dramatic Climax...his endings aren’t generally very good. He did a terrific job wrapping up Rear Window (1954), making sure all storylines were finished, but he really didn’t end North by Northwest (1959), Vertigo (1958), or The Birds (1963). The movie Psycho (1960) did have an ending, but it was an exposition dump that really was the low part of the film. I love all of these films and the suspenseful build-ups to the dramatic climaxes are extraordinary and put them in a class of their own, but I would not call Hitchcock one to demand a satisfying resolution. 
I know that I have done it for every one of the Hitchcock movies on the AFI list, but I again want to give a shout to Saul Bass for the opening credits and Bernard Hermann for the score. The intro to a Hitchcock film puts you in the mood for a good story and the score keeps you interested all the way to the end. 
There were some questions from my parents as well as from a couple of viewers about the biplane scene. How was it that the plane passed by and then machine gun fire followed? Well, the plane was a N3N Canary, also known as the “Yellow Peril,” and was a tandem seat training biplane that had an open cockpit. This means that there had to be a a guy in the back with a gun shooting backwards. These were generally converted for agricultural use at the end of WW2. The plane that blew up was a different plane (a Stearman Boeing Model 75 trainer) that was also used as an agricultural duster. Empire magazine rated this scene as the greatest movie moment of all time. 
Now that the group has been watching so many movies from Old Hollywood, it became apparent to me how extraordinarily dirty the language was on the train between Roger and Eve. I remember reviewing this film in a college film course and the professor commenting over the scene. She mentioned that this was the only scene of the film that had any cuts and they were made by Hitchcock himself. I also remember Eva Marie Saint saying she was 26 and the professor said, “Ha! Plus 10!” This was a mid 20s female character (played by an actress in her 30s) trying to actively bed a character in his mid 40s (played by an actor in his 50s) who she has just met and spent a total of 5 minutes with. It was all sorts of awkward, and it was great.
So. Should this move be on the AFI top 100? Yes. Probably higher in rank. I was just thinking of another Cary Grant film that is higher on the list, The Philadelphia Story (1940), and how this film is so much more fun. I think that there are other Hitchcock films like Rebecca (1940) and The Birds (1963) that could be on this list, but I guess 4 films from a director that isn’t American is a good representation. North by Northwest is definitely a deserving example. Would I recommend it? Yes. Heck, you can borrow my copy as long as you bring it back. I have seen the film probably two dozen times in the last 20 years and I would be happy to see it again if it means somebody can experience it for the first time. I highly recommend checking it out for yourself.
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ruined-roses · 4 years
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Walking on Wire - Part 2
Summary - When Rafe shows up at the beach things don't turn out the way Cari was hoping
w/c - 1.3k
A/N - angst, violence, slow burn 
Masterlist  Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
The kegger was in full swing by now. Music playing from the speakers, the fire still burning steadily in front of the group. Cari was leaning on Sarah having a wave of sleep wash over her when JJ came back with a handful of drinks. She perked her head up just as he turned to sit back down accepting the collective thank you’s from everyone. Cari took a sip from her cup, emptying it of the remaining beer so she excused herself, standing to walk to the keg. The sun had set over the beach, turning the sky into a pale grey-blue that blended into the sea across the horizon. Cari walked, watching the party around her, letting the sand move around her and reaching the unmanned keg she filled her cup once again.
A shout from down the beach caught her attention seeing Topper and Rafe walking up to her. This was the first time she’d seen him since he broke up with her; she tried to distance herself from him not wanting to relieve any of the pain or even any of the love he gave her. She didn’t want to remember the last time she saw him, or what happened after, Cari had dealt with the break up in a way that worked for her but Rafe? Who could tell. In reality he drank to escape the pain he knew he’d caused her, attempting to drown himself from the reality of what he did but didn't have the heart to tell her.
Cari turned on her heel, wanting to walk away from her brother and most importantly her ex but didn't get the chance to escape them completely.
“Cari,” it was Rafe’s voice she heard first, “how you been?” he sounded calm, as if nothing had happened and it hurt. She stopped, not moving for a moment considering her next move, before turning to face the two boys.
“What’s it to you? Huh? Why do you care?” Cari’s voice was strong, she wouldn’t let him see her break, plus she was drunk enough to have the extra confidence by now, not after what he did. Rafe didn’t speak, he stared at the girl before him and stepped forward once. Topper watched the scene before him, waiting to step in if he needed to but he knew Rafe would never physically hurt her. When Cari didn’t move, Rafe stepped further and reached for her arm for it to be pulled back to her side. Rafe opened his mouth to speak but Cari already turned and walked away from the boys; leaving them to get their drinks by the keg.
When Cari made it back to the group by the fire she was greeted with smiles and sitting next to Kie and Sarah sinking into the seat she’d found. The conversation around her didn’t matter and she’d trained her eyes on the fire watching the oranges blend into ambers and reds. Small embers flying around near the flames, the crackles sending a comforting sound to her ears and relaxing her in a much needed way.
“Hey Cari, isn’t your aunt coming into town in a few weeks?” Sarah nudged the girl's shoulder, catching her attention. She turned her head to the blonde who had her arm around John B, her own head laid on his shoulder. The couple were sweet, the way they fit together seemed so comforting and effortless to Cari; she wanted something like that.
“Um, yeah I think so, why?” she shrugged, giving Sarah her answer.
“Just wondering,” she put her hand on Cari’s arm, rubbing comfortingly, “you always have so much fun with her you know.” The girls nodded at each; and laughed at the blonde's face as it changed when John B pinched her side, starting to tickle his girlfriend.
The laughter was cut short by a shout from behind everyone. Cari turned her neck to see Rafe walking towards the group so she stood and jogged towards him. “Come on Rafe leave it for tonight?” she said, walking up to him. He ignored her and looked over to the group around the fire.
“Really Cari?” Rafe looked down at her, standing above the girl and stared down at her, his eyes softening at her appearance but her voice made him look away.
“What Rafe, what do you want now?”
“You’re seriously hanging with these dirty pogues? I thought you were better than that.” He shouted, spitting the last part at her causing her to wince at his words.
“Really Rafe, can you not do this now.” Cari tried to reason with him but he brushed past her, walking up the fire with cari following after him, calling for him to stop. A few stragglers had left, leaving the group watching Rafe march up towards them. JJ was the first to stand up and move towards him, hands up in defence.
“Hey come on man, we don't have to do this” he stood against him, hands on his chest to guide him away from everyone but Rafe has other ideas. He pushed JJ’s hands away and subsequently JJ a few feet from him.
“This is what you’d rather be Cari? A dirty fucking pogue?” he shouted causing her face to change, hurt crossing her features while the group looked across to JJ who had his fist balled by his sides. JJ stood tall, walked towards Rafe and threw the first punch, landing on his jaw and sending him backwards slightly holding his face. JJ was angry, that was clear, but his face was normal. He shook his hand out and went back for the second punch only to be held back by John B and Pope; both boys holding a side, tugging him back slightly. Cari was stuck in the sand, until Rafe shouted again, “what the fuck.” He didn't get the chance to throw his punch when Cari stood in front of him holding a hand to his chest, moving it up and down with his breathing.
“Stop, okay, calm down.” she spoke, attempting to get through to him but it wasn’t worth it.
He moved past her and towards JJ who had now broken free from John B and Pope to lunge at Rafe, the two fell to the floor and exchanged punches. Both of them grunting with each punch landed. The shouting had stopped, Cari just watching the two before Topper pulled Rafe off JJ, muttering to him that ‘it’s not worth it’. JJ moved back in the sand, letting Pope lay his hand on his shoulder to hold him in place and looked at Cari, his eyes not showing any emotion and she sunk into herself, feeling the blame and guilt bubble inside of her.
Cari went to open her mouth, wanting to console JJ somehow but he’d turned and walked away, Pope following him behind trying to calm him down somewhat. Topper's hand was on his sister's shoulder, guiding her away from the group and back to the car. She looked back to the scene seeing John B, Sarah and Kie follow the two boys back to the chateau for JJ's outburst aftermath, which basically meant a few drinks while he smokes again.
Topper walked the two to the car, getting in and driving home through dimly lit streets. He tried to speak to her, but she didn’t answer, just keeping her head against the window, thinking of JJ and the way his eyes looked at hers, wondering how the boy was and how it ended up this way.
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meteora-writes · 4 years
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We Could Be Perfect One Last Night ch.9
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Fandom: Hannibal Pairing: Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham Warnings: Angst, Talk of Mental Illness, Talk of Hallucinations, Confessions, Extreme Fluff, First Kiss Chapter: 9. Never Be Afraid (Again) Description:  While driving with Hannibal and Chiyoh, Will admits to something he never shared with anyone. Once they reach the house in New York, something changes between Will and Hannibal.  Authors Notes: So I posted this days ago on ao3 and didn’t get a chance to set it up on here until just now. I apologize. I’m working on creating a twitch channel so once or twice a week people can watch me write, and this will likely be one of the things I work on there, so I promise delays in posting are worth it in the end. Read On AO3
~~~~~ Read Ch.1.Ch.2.Ch.3.Ch.4.Ch.5.Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8~~~~~
Will doesn’t know what to feel when he climbs into the backseat of the SUV Chiyoh brought to spirit them away. He’s grateful to be leaving for someplace less damp and confined. But a part of him feels like he’s leaving some part of himself behind as he watches the cabin shrink in the distance through the rear-view mirror.
It doesn’t help that he’s feeling mixed emotions from Chiyoh that he has to separate from his own. He can tell she’s happy to see Hannibal again. But there’s something else churning beneath the surface. An unease that he suspects has to do with old worries he might ask her to go back to a life of solitude somewhere for his own amusement. Given the life Hannibal has had for the past three years, he doesn’t see the man being so cruel as to ask her to seclude herself again.
And then there’s Hannibal, who masks so much of what he’s feeling. What he does give off is usually faint and easy to navigate. It’s nice, not having to sort out if he’s feeling his own emotions or someone else’s when it comes to being with Hannibal. Yes, Hannibal has a presence that draws out Will’s darker nature. Which he initially mistook as belonging to Hannibal and Hannibal alone. He knows better now. It’s not that Will was mirroring Hannibal when he wanted to kill or hurt him or others, it was Hannibal drawing his own suppressed feelings to the surface.
“Are there going to be any stops along the way?” Chiyoh asks once they’re on the highway. She’s behind the wheel, Hannibal riding in the front passenger seat beside her and Will in the seat behind him. It’s the first time she’s spoken in the ten minutes she’s been with them, aside from greeting them both upon her arrival. She believes Hannibal would have informed her in advance if they were picking up any… guests… But it doesn’t hurt to ask.
“Not today, no,” Hannibal says simply as he watches the trees pass by. “I believe Will and I both would benefit from a few more days to recover before we should attempt anything strenuous. And I would like to take some time to get the house ready for guests first.”
“Will you be needing my assistance then? Or am I free to go once you and Will are settled?” she asks carefully. She’ll help if asked, but she doesn’t want to kill anyone if she doesn’t have to. And she doesn’t want to bear witness to the things he intends to do to his enemies. She accepts Hannibal, loves him in her own way, but she won’t be a part of the things he does to those he deems to be less.
“Depending on how things go after we’ve dealt with Bedelia, having back up when we go after Jack might be a good idea,” Will suggests, earning a questioning glance back from the woman. “Hannibal filled me in on your aptitude with a sniper rifle. Thank you, by the way, for not aiming anywhere vital when you shot me back in Palermo.”
“Thank you for not giving me a reason to,” she counters with the faintest hint of a smile. Will can see it when he looks in the rear-view mirror. “I promised Hannibal once before that I would watch over him. If he needs me to, I will be there to keep watch while the two of you do what needs to be done to Agent Crawford.”
“Thank you, Chiyoh.” The warmth in Hannibal’s voice is as evident and clear as the smile on his face.
Will catches sight of it when he looks to the mirror on their side of the vehicle. It’s nice seeing Hannibal so open with his feelings towards others. It’s a stark contrast to how he acts when those he doesn’t consider to be family are present.
“I was able to locate and purchase a ship similar to the one you described,” Chiyoh notes with another glance in the rear-view mirror to Will. “It has sails, as well as a diesel engine. It was well cared for by the previous owner and should meet your needs. I was told it would be ready to sail by next week. I paid an additional sum to have them upgrade the navigational equipment and install a new engine.”
“That’s great.” Will can’t help being a little surprised that she found a boat like the one he wanted so quickly, given how specific he was about what it needed to have. Hannibal insisted on Will giving her exact details for what he would feel most comfortable sailing since he would be the one captaining and maintaining the vessel. He really needs to stop underestimating her. “Did you ask them to order spare engine parts?”
“I did. They said you would be more than prepared should anything happen while at sea,” Chiyoh assures. She sat with the people at the marina for several hours working out every aspect of the transaction and the services they would provide to get the ship seaworthy in a timely manner.
“That’s wonderful news. I look forward to seeing the ship when the time comes. What is the name of the vessel?” Hannibal asks, tone of voice never wavering from the openly pleased tone it caries. He never doubts in Chiyoh and her abilities to carry out a task with exceptional results.
“The Black Stag.” She’s about to explain that she already placed an order for most of the other supplies they would need now that the ship is taken care of, but she’s cut off abruptly by the sound of sudden, near-hysterical sounding laughing from the back seat.
Hannibal actually turns in his seat and peers over the back to get a look at Will. He’s doubled over, arms wrapped around himself as if his sides hurt from the action, laughing so hard it sounds like he’s on the verge of hyperventilating. “I take it there is something you find amusing about that name?”
“It’s…” Will manages to say in a wheeze before another loud laugh escapes him beyond his control. “It’s just that… When I… When I had encephalitis… That was what I saw… that made me realize something was wrong with me… A massive black stag.” His laughter starts to calm down as he explains, and he gasps in great lungfuls of air as he tries to calm himself from the manic reaction to hearing the name of the ship Chiyoh found them. It’s impossible. He doesn’t believe in God in any form of the traditional sense, but that name has him wondering if this is some kind of a sign from above.
Hannibal thinks back, remembering Will talking about antlers after killing Garret Jacob Hobbs, and then later mumbling about a stag when he would use the phototherapy lights to help him get inside Will’s mind and nurture the seeds of change sprouting inside of him. “God has quite a sense of humor. Tell me, Will, when you saw this stag, what was it the creature would do?”
“Usually? It would follow me. Or just stand off to the side watching. I saw it at the hospital, work, home,” Will explains as his breathing starts to go back to normal at last. “The real irony is that it still appears in my daydreams and nightmares sometimes. But its shape changes depending on where I am and who I’m with. It becomes humanoid. Takes your face but remains a monstrous black being with antlers and the twisted body of a man.” Will scrubs his face with both hands, trying to calm himself down just a bit more. He still feels the urge to laugh despite himself. It’s just too crazy.
“Like a wendigo?” Chiyoh asks out of the blue, surprising both Will and Hannibal.
“Yes, exactly like a wendigo!” Will exclaims as he finally sits up straight in his seat once again and runs a hand through his hair, brushing his bangs back from his forehead in the process. He blinks in confusion a moment later when he notices Hannibal still staring at him from over the edge of his seat with a look that Will can’t read. It takes a second for him to realize what Hannibal is looking at. He now has a clear view of the scar on Will’s forehead. He’s been letting his hair fall over his forehead for the past two weeks, unintentionally keeping the mark covered.
Will runs his hand over his forehead, fingertips skimming over the raised line of tissues as he averts his eyes from the other man’s. He can still remember the feeling of the saw despite the haze of the drugs Hannibal had given him. The way it sent vibrations throughout his skull and down into the rest of his body as it ripped its way into him. The horrible sound of it beginning to cut bone that still echos through his skull in his nightmares. “That actually makes a lot of sense now that I think about it…”
Hannibal hums at that, understanding what Will means. It started appearing to him when he had to hunt down a cannibal. The fact that it stuck around after clearly shows how that case affected Will. And then for it to take on the appearance of Hannibal? He’s not sure how he feels about that exactly, knowing the legends of the wendigo and their association with madness as well as cannibalism. Hannibal is far from mad. And he imagines if one were ever to become such a creature, he surely would have long ago.
The conversation is dropped there. None of them feels the desire to continue on or change the subject.
Will is grateful for the quiet after everything he just shared. He never even told Molly about the stag. She knew about his nightmares. How they would creep into his mind even when daydreaming or spacing out and leave him shaken at times. But he could never bring himself to try and explain it to her and she didn’t push.
He feels oddly hollow now. Not in a bad way. It’s more like the feeling of relief one gets from finally being able to tell the whole truth about something. He always felt he couldn’t talk about the stag. Like it was a sign of how deeply messed up he really is. And he was certain that he would be sent back to the mental hospital if he told anyone about it. Put on medications and told he’s crazy.
But Chiyoh and Hannibal aren’t like the other people he’s known in his life. They don’t seem to think he’s crazy. And they don’t look at him like he’s lost his mind for admitting to seeing this imaginary creature. Hannibal knows and understands how Will’s mind works. Almost better than Will does at times. He gets that he has the imagination of an overactive child but the dark impulses of a man.
It shouldn’t surprise Will that the other man would be accepting of this quirk as well as all of his others.
But it does surprise him. Leaves him feeling strange. In the end, he decides not to think too hard on it or the feeling, and ends up turning his head to watch the scenery go by through the dark tinted windows of the SUV. He falls asleep less than an hour later.
~~~~~
The house is about what Will had expected for one owned by Hannibal. It had the exterior aesthetic of a log cabin, with the modern interior of a luxurious modern house. All dark woods and sleek designs opposed to the softer outside. There are two floors and a basement, obviously. As well as a garage and a fenced area out behind that looks like it might be for a garden of sorts.
Hannibal walks into the house ahead of Will. He immediately hung his coat in the small closet next to the entrance before taking a few steps to enter the living room. It’s a bit dark. Some light filtering in around the curtains that weren’t closed properly the last time someone had been there. He doesn’t seem to notice though, as he immediately goes to the closest armchair and pulls a dusty sheet off of it, which he begins to fold meticulously.
“What can I do to help?” Will asks, standing in the doorway still. He’s looking around slowly. Taking in the few pieces of art he sees on the walls and the comfortable-looking furniture that Hannibal is beginning to uncover in the living room area.
Hannibal pauses in his folding to look across the room at Will. He seems to consider the question a moment before glancing towards the windows behind him. “Opening the windows would be a great help. It’s been quite some time since this place got a bit of fresh air.”
“Sure, I can do that,” Will agrees as he shrugs off his coat and hangs it in the closet beside Hannibal’s. The air does smell fairly stale. Musty almost. Full of dust. It makes his nose itch with the urge to sneeze that isn’t quite strong enough to actually come forth on it’s own.
Pulling the curtains open floods the room with light, making the dust motes floating in the air strikingly obvious. The fresh gust of cool air that comes in when Will opens the window only adds to the effect, making them swirl and dance in the open space.
Once all the windows in the living room are open, Will looks around and notices the doorway that leads to what he assumes is the dining area or kitchen. With a glance to Hannibal, who is still uncovering furniture, he heads that way to open more windows.
The kitchen is so strikingly similar to the one in Hannibal’s old house that Will actually freezes in the doorway upon seeing it. The only real differences that Will can see are that the fridge is on the opposite wall, and the counters are a different color of marble. It’s like stepping into an alternate reality for a moment. And he has flashes of himself and Hannibal there. Chatting over coffee. Watching him cook the two of them dinner… And then it shifts and twists back to the kitchen in Baltimore, to blood and Abigail and ungodly pain. And then finally to a bloody Hannibal walking away from the two of them...
Hannibal sees the way Will’s body locks up momentarily upon seeing the kitchen before he clearly forces himself to walk into the room in an unusually stiff manner. It makes a pang of something that feels dangerously like guilt hit him. He can imagine the things that have to be going through Will’s mind in that moment, and they’re far from pleasant he’s sure. He can only imagine what kinds of things might trigger Will to relive the more horrible moments of his past. Moments that Hannibal caused...
It takes about an hour to get things in order. They get all of the furniture uncovered, windows open, electricity and water turned back on. Chiyoh shows up with groceries just after they finish getting things in working order, and she helps them clean things up a bit before bidding them goodbye for now and heading off to wherever it is that she intends to stay, since she declined to stay with the two of them. She lets Hannibal know there is an SUV in the garage now that they should be travel in without issues. He thanks her, and with that, she’s gone.
They don’t talk much that evening, Will and Hannibal. It’s been a long day and they’re both tired. It isn’t until late that evening when Hannibal comments on going to sleep that it strikes them both that the house has multiple bedrooms. They don’t -have- to sleep together. But one look shared between them makes it clear that isn’t what either man wants.
So, Will sets aside the now empty glass of whiskey he had been sipping as they sat by the fire, and walks over to where Hannibal stands beside the stairs that lead up to the second floor. He reaches out slowly, as if afraid of being rebuked for the action, and gently takes Hannibal’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers together.
His eyes are downcast, looking at their hands and pointedly not at Hannibal’s face. A mix of anxiety, embarrassment, and whiskey coloring and warming his cheeks. He feels ridiculous. Like a schoolboy with a crush. But he just doesn’t know how the hell to feel about the other man in that moment or what to make of Hannibal’s feelings towards him. He just knows he doesn’t want to be away from him if he doesn’t have to be...
Hannibal turns towards Will, making the other man’s breath hitch audibly as he draws closer. He raises the hand not currently being held, and uses a finger under Will’s chin to make him look up, worried blue meeting warm brown. “Stay with me, Will?”
Will seems to relax at the question, shoulders sagging just a little as he looks Hannibal in the eye and nods. Hannibal’s finger stays under his chin. Keeping his head tilted and eyes locked with the older man’s. He can see the longing in them. Feel it. It mixes with his own... And before he can overthink it, he leans in, tilts his head ever so slightly, and brings their lips together.
It’s soft. Brief. And Hannibal returns it readily. His every nerve singing with the pleasant shock of it. When they part Will has a questioning look in his eyes. Wanting to know if he read the moment wrong. If he’s just made a huge mistake. All Hannibal can bring himself to do in answer is gently slip his hand around to the back of Will’s neck and pull him into another soft kiss.
They stand there a long moment, Will hedging closer into Hannibal’s space as they give in to the desire that’s been building between them for some time. They finally part when Hannibal needs a breath, and he opens his eyes to find a small smile on Will’s lips. “Let’s go to bed?”
The question is innocent. No implication of wanting any more than what Will just shared with him. It’s late, and they’re both still healing. In more ways than one. He has no intention of rushing this. And Will seems to feel the same.
“Lead the way,” Will utters before stealing one last, quick kiss. Because he can. Because it feels like he is allowed to do that. And because it lets him know that what just happened was real and not some imagined moment in his overactive mind.
Hannibal does lead the way. And they take their time changing into nightclothes before slipping under the covers of the king-sized bed of the master bedroom. Even with the much larger sleeping space, the moment they are in it together Will gravitates towards him. Seeks him out and moves in close enough to feel Hannibal’s warmth and solid presence.
They fall asleep curled together much like they would back in the cabin. Only now, Will leans in and gives Hannibal one last kiss goodnight before they both drift off.
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jamielea81 · 5 years
Text
Back to School
Chapter 2
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Pairing: Professor Steve Rogers x Reader 
Warnings: Some cursing, talk of sex
Description: After taking years off of school, you finally decide to go back and finish up that degree.
Word Count: Approximately 2,000
A/N: This is a Professor Steve Rogers fic, but with a twist as the reader is older and this will be a slow burn. 
Please let me know if you would like to be tagged. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated.
*Italics are internal thoughts.
Catch up with chapter 1
Class dragged on and on. You didn’t blame the material, no, this was all you. Well, really it was Professor Rogers. How naïve you were to think this man was another student. Of course, you were the oldest student in the room. Probably campus too. No, that’s probably not true, but it felt like it.
Glancing down at your notebook, the page was filled with squiggle lines and flowers. There was no way you could concentrate today. Thankfully the bits and pieces you had heard were mainly what to expect this semester. Yep, another paper. This one, twenty pages.
The timber of Steve or Professor Roger’s voice was hypnotizing. It wasn’t so much words you were hearing, just the tone. Deep and flowing. He should totally have a podcast.
It wasn’t as though Steve had flirted with you. No, he had been friendly and introduced himself. It was you that had the hope that it could turn into something more. That just simply couldn’t happen now and you would have to get over it. Maybe just not look at him for a couple of weeks. Yeah, that would work. Except it didn’t because you looked up and caught him looking at you. It didn’t last more than a few seconds, but damn, this isn’t good. Eye contact is part of your job, you can’t help but make eye contact with the person speaking.
You are a business professional, get it together Y/N.
Professor Rogers dismissed class, but apparently you missed it, being caught in your own mind. You looked up two see about five students waiting to speak to him. Packing up your bag, the best option was to get out of there. You had a meeting in an hour anyway.
Packed and ready to go, you stood up noticing the line to speak to the professor was down to two students. Steve looked at you and held up a finger indicating he wanted you to wait. Fuck. You grabbed your phone out of your bag and scrolled through your e-mails until you heard your name.
The lecture hall was empty except for you and Steve. You both took a hesitant step toward each other, but you remained silent, letting him speak first.
“I’ll be honest, I thought you were a professor or faculty member when I saw you on the quad.” A nervous laugh in his voice.
“Is that your way of saying I’m old.” Screw it, you needed to give him a hard time. If you wouldn’t be dating him, might as well bust his balls before he starts grading your homework.
“What?! No, not at all. It’s just that your dressed professionally, not like you’ve crawled out of bed like the rest of them.” Hand going to the back of his neck where he rubbed nervously.
“I’m only teasing. I’m only taking two classes and I’ve got work right after this. Hence the outfit.” You smiled and he returned it, nodding his head.
“I don’t go around introducing myself to every new student, so when I saw you in my class, I was a bit surprised.” He said.
“I was actually too. I mean, seeing you walk in the room. Was kinda of hoping you’d sit next to me.” You laughed nervously.
“Could have made for an interesting class I suppose.”
You bit your lip. This was flirting. This was so flirting and you needed to cut that out. Get your degree and move on. That’s the goal for the semester.
Glancing at your phone, you knew you had to get a move on if you were going to make it back to the office, grab a quick bite and get to the meeting on time.
“Well Professor.” He blushed, he completely just blushed. “I have to get to work. Guess I’ll see you next week.”
“Yes, Ms. Y/L/N, I’ll see you next week.” Steve says, hands in his pockets as he rocks on his feet.
You started your ascent up the stairs begging yourself not to look back. This wasn’t the movies, there’s no way he’s watching you walk away. But if that’s so, why are you swaying your hips?
 The plan for Friday morning was to be in the office bright and early and out by two PM to meet your friend Jules for wedding dress shopping. Instead you found yourself on campus. Last night you had reviewed the syllabus for your history course and had failed to notice or pay attention in class thanks to Mister dreamy professor, that a second book was required for the course. You found the book easy enough, settling for a new copy as all the used copies were sold. Used books always had great notes in them with key points highlighted. You were a little disappointed, but easily got over it.
You decided to grab a coffee from the coffee cart you tried earlier in the week rather than stopping at your normal haunt before getting to the office. At least it was one less stop. Handing the barista some cash, you stepped to the side and waited for your beverage.
“You have another class today?”
Turning around to see piercing blue eyes looking at you.
Steve. Professor Rogers. Damnit, I need to stop doing that.  
“Or is the coffee that good?” He asked.
“The coffee’s good.” You leaned in. “But not that good.”
He chuckled at your reply, tilting his head toward the cart to indicate your coffee was ready. You turned back to grab it and stepped away from the cart, Steve walking with you.
“I had to stop at the book store to grab a book. For your class actually.”
He nodded his head. “Probably a good idea.”
“Yeah. I’d hate to get behind in my first week.” You smiled politely. “Do you have class today?”
Conversational skills were apparently not your forte when it came to this man.
Stopping at the end of the quad, you turned to face him.
“This afternoon. Office hours this morning.”
“Oh, right.” You replied.
Silence. Uncomfortable silence.
“Um, I actually have to head into work. But I’ll see you next week.” You laughed.
“What?” He asked, big smile on his face.
“I’m pretty sure I said that same exact thing a few days ago.” Biting your lip because you’re awkward.
Steve crossed his arms and smiled. “I feel like I’m going to hear that from you quite a bit.”
You saluted him with your cup and turned to walk away. Your head looked over your shoulder. “Have a good weekend Steve. I mean professor.” It was honestly a slip of the tongue.
“You too Ms. Y/L/N.”
Turning back around to face him. “Y/N. Call me Y/N.”
He nodded his head and you continued on your way.
 Jules was walking on air, but at the same time walking around like a baby deer, tripping over her own feet, and getting caught in the rows of dresses. So really, in her mind she was walking on air, but she really was a disaster. The three glasses of champagne the bridal shop gave her did not help either.
You and Jules had met at the call center job you took after you left school. Despite her only lasting two weeks, you formed a close bound and stayed friends. Flash forward years later and she was marrying her boyfriend of eight years. Yes, eight years. While you serial dated, her and Brian were in it for the long hall.
Jules had opted to shop with you, her maid of honor, and exclude her three bridesmaids which consisted of her cousins. You’ve met them before and they are perfectly nice girls, but she didn’t want the multitude of opinions while she tried on dresses.
After trying on exactly twelve dresses, she was back to the first.
“So, what do you think?” She asked nervously.
“Like I told you the first time, you’re stunning in it.”
And she really was. Jules is petite and beautiful with full, shoulder length blonde hair and big brown eyes. Anything she wore looked great on her.
“You don’t think it’s too…” She shrugged her shoulders and scrunched up her face. “I don’t know, too, showy? Slutty maybe?”
You let out a giggle and she joined in. Probably mostly due to the champagne.
“No sweetie. It’s beautifully. If it makes you happy and feel good, then it’s the right dress.”
She smiled at that, turning back to the full-length mirror as the shop attendant placed a vale on her head. The sleeveless lace dress had various see through panels that it looked a bit like lingerie. But tasteful and elegant lingerie.
Moving a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes, she smiled again, looking at you in the mirror and then to the attendant. “I’ll take it.”
After paying for the dress and scheduling a fitting, Jules had strong armed you into getting drinks and dinner. OK, she didn’t have to strong arm you, you enjoyed eating and drinking, but you kind of just wanted to be home and in your jammies.
“How was school dear? Make any new friends.” She asked in a teasing tone.
You smirked and took a sip from your glass of vodka and sour. “Sure, mom. It was great.”
“Oh, come on!” She playfully slapped your hand that rested on the table. Big smile on her face. “I want to hear about it!”
“Fine. Fine. Calm down lady.” You laughed. “It was fine. I only have classes on Tuesday. One is an Economics class that’s going to kick my ass. The other is a history class that I should do alright in. I like history. I watch the History channel.” You gave her a teasing smile.
“You’re covered then.”
Dinner arrived and you both ate and caught up with your lives. The two of you got together once a week, but you never had problems keeping the conversation going.
“So, any cute teachers.” She asked.
You brought your glass to your lips again and shook your head. Trying your best to keep your face as neutral as possible.
“Bullshit. How long have I known you Y/N?”
“Too long apparently.”
“I need the gossip. Oh, and I need names so I can look them up online.”
“Well, my economics teacher, Melinda Cary is pretty cute.” You smirked at her and she shook her head. “But, my history teacher, Steve Rogers is really hot.” You sighed dreamily.
She nodded, large smile on her face. “Are you going to hook up?” Eyebrows raised.
You almost spit out the vodka in your mouth. Coughing a few times before you could respond. “I’m pretty sure it’s against the rules and some moral code to date my professor Jules.”
“Who said anything about dating? I meant, just, you know.” She gestured with her hand in a vulgar way. “Fuck him.”
You grabbed her arm across the table. “Dude! Firstly, don’t do that in public. B. I’m not going to fuck him.” You practically whispered the last time.
She rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying.” She shrugged her shoulders. “OK, let’s take the hot professor out of the equation. You need to get laid.” You huffed out a breath. She wasn’t wrong, but still. “All I’m saying is, you always look to jump into a relationship and you know I’m right. Maybe hooking up with Mr. Rogers.” She snorted and muttered Mr. Rogers again.
“Professor Rogers.” You corrected.
“Right, right. Maybe just a hook up would be good for the soul.”
You sighed. “I get what you are saying. But not with my teacher. And besides, he’s probably not even interested.”
“Don’t know until you try.” She said wiggling her eyebrows. “I need to live vicariously through you.” She whined.
Maybe you needed to reconsider who your friends were. Kidding, of course. However, you didn’t need the idea of Steve Rogers like that in your head.
Tagging: @thefandomzoneisdangerous @humandasaster @violetadefebrero @not-another-tmblr @fanfiiiiiiics @estillion14 @lookwhatyoumademequeue @chita0027 @twittytelly @panicfob @allaboutthebooz @eves-library @tanelle83 @rda1989 @louisianaspell @fanficfaeriesmodernaulibrary @rainbowkisses31 @xxloki81xx @zsuzstyina
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96harmony96 · 3 years
Text
Chapter 19
Cary joined us in the living room for excellent Chinese, a sweet plum wine, and Monday night television. As we flipped channels and laughed over the hilarious names of some reality television shows, I watched as two of the most important people in my life enjoyed some relaxation time and each other. They got along well, ribbing and playfully insulting each other in that way friends had. I’d never seen that side of Lauren before and I loved it.
While I hogged one whole side of our sectional sofa, the two sat cross-legged on the floor and used the coffee table as a dining table. Both were wearing loose sweatpants and fitted T-shirts, and I appreciated the view. Was I a lucky girl or what?
Cracking his knuckles, Cary dramatically prepared to open his fortune cookie. “Let’s see. Will I be rich? Famous? About to meet Mr. or Ms. Tall, Dark, and Tasty? Traveling to distant lands? What’d you guys get?”
“Mine’s lame,” I said. “In the end all things will be known. Duh. I didn’t need a fortune to figure that out.”
Lauren opened hers and read, “Prosperity will knock on your door soon.”
I snorted.
Cary shot me a look. “I know, right? You snatched someone else’s cookie, Jauregui.”
“she better not be anywhere near someone else’s cookie,” I said dryly.
Reaching over, Lauren plucked half of mine out of my fingers. “Don’t worry, angel. Your cookie is the only one I want.” she popped it in her mouth with a wink.
“Gag,” Cary muttered. “Get a room.” He cracked his fortune with a flourish, and then scowled. “What the fuck?”
I leaned forward. “What’s it say?”
“Confucius say,” Lauren ad-libbed, “man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.”
Cary threw half his cookie at Lauren, who caught it deftly and grinned.
“Give me that.” I snatched the fortune out from between Cary’s fingers and read it. Then laughed.
“Fuck you, Camila.”
“Well?” Lauren prodded.
“Pick another cookie.”
Lauren smiled. “Pwned by a fortune.”
Cary threw the other half of his cookie.
I was reminded of similar evenings spent with Cary when I was attending SDSU, which made me try and picture what Lauren had been like in college. From the articles I’d read, I knew she’d attended Columbia for her undergraduate studies, then left to focus on her expanding business interests.
Had she associated with the other students? Did she go to frat parties, screw around and/or drink too much? she was such a controlled woman, I had a hard time picturing her that carefree, and yet here she was being exactly that with me and Cary.
she glanced at me then, still smiling, and my heart turned over in my chest. she looked her age for once, young and seriously fine and so very normal. At that moment, we were just a twenty-something couple relaxing at home with a roommate and a remote control. she was just my girlfriend, hanging out. It was all so sweet and uncomplicated, and I found the illusion a poignant one.
The intercom buzzed and Cary leaped to his feet to answer it. He glanced at me with a smile. “Maybe it’s Trey.”
I held up a hand with my fingers crossed.
But when Cary answered the door a few minutes later, it was the leggy blonde from the other night who came in.
“Hey,” she said, taking in the remnants of dinner on the table. She eyed Lauren appraisingly as she politely unfolded and stood in that powerfully graceful way of her. She shot me a smirk; then unleashed a dazzling supermodel smile on Lauren and held out her hand. “Tatiana Cherlin.”
she shook her hand. “Camila’s girlfriend.”
My brows lifted at her introduction. Was she protecting her identity? Or her personal space? Either way, I liked her response.
Cary came back into the room with a bottle of wine and two glasses. “Come on,” he said, gestured down the hallway to his bedroom.
Tatiana gave a little wave and preceded Cary out. I mouthed behind her back to Cary, What are you doing?
He winked and whispered, “Picking another cookie.”
Lauren and I called it a night shortly after and headed to my room. As we got ready for bed, I asked her something I’d wondered about earlier. “Did you have a fuck pad in college, too?”
Her T-shirt cleared her head. “Excuse me?”
“You know, like the hotel room. You’re a randy girl. I just wondered if you’d had some kind of setup even then.”
she was shaking her head as I ogled her divinely perfect torso and lean hips. “I’ve had as much sex since I met you as I’ve had in the last two years combined.”
“No way.”
“I work hard and I work out harder, both of which keep me pleasantly exhausted most of the time. Occasionally, I might’ve gotten an offer I didn’t refuse, but otherwise I could take or leave sex until I met you.”
“Bullshit.” I found that impossible to believe.
she shot me a look before she headed toward the bathroom with a black leather toiletry bag. “Keep doubting me, Camila. See what happens.”
“What?” I followed her, enjoying the sight of her delectable ass. “You’re going to prove that you can take or leave sex by doing me again?”
“It takes two.” she opened her bag and pulled out a new toothbrush that she extricated from its packaging and dropped into my toothbrush holder. “You’ve initiated sex between us as much as I have. You need the connection as much as I do.”
“You’re right. It’s just…”
“Just what?” she pulled open a drawer, frowned at finding it full, and moved on to pull open another.
“Other sink,” I said, smiling at her presumption that she would get drawers at my place, too, and her scowl when she couldn’t find them. “They’re all yours.”
Lauren moved over to the second sink and began unpacking her bag into the drawers. “Just what?” She repeated, taking shampoo and body wash over to my shower.
Leaning my hip into the sink and crossing my arms, I watched her stake her claim all over my bathroom. There was no doubt that’s what she was doing, just as there was no doubt that anyone walking into the room would know right away there was a someone in my life.
It struck me then that I had a similar claim on her private space. Her household staff had to know their boss was in a committed relationship now. The thought gave me a little thrill.
“I was thinking about you in college earlier,” I went on, “when we were eating dinner, imagining what it would be like to see you around on campus. I would’ve been obsessed with you. I would have gone out of my way to see you around just to enjoy the view. I would’ve tried to get in the same classes as you, so I could daydream during lectures about getting into your pants.”
“Sex maniac.” she kissed the tip of my nose as she passed me and went to brush her teeth. “We both know what would’ve happened once I saw you.”
I brushed my hair and teeth; then washed my face. “So…did you have a sex pad for the rare occasions some lucky bitch got you in bed?”
Her gaze caught my soapy reflection in the mirror. “I’ve always used the hotel.”
“That’s the only place you’ve had sex? Before me?”
“The only place I’ve had consensual sex,” she said quietly, “before you.”
“Oh.” My heart broke.
I walked over to her, hugging her from behind. I rubbed my cheek against her back.
We went to bed and wrapped ourselves around each other. I buried my face in her neck and breathed her in, snuggling. Her body was hard, yet it was wonderfully comfortable against mine. she was so warm and strong, so powerfully female. I only had to think of her to want her.
I slid my leg over her hips and rose above her, my hands splayed atop the ridges of her abdomen. It was dark, I couldn’t see her, but I didn’t need to. As much as I loved that face of hers—the one ahe resented at times—it was the way she touched me and murmured to me that really got to me. As if there was no one else in the world for her, nothing ahe wanted more.
“Lauren.” I didn’t need to say anything else.
Sitting up, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me deeply. Then she rolled me beneath her and made love to me with a tender possessiveness that rocked me to the soul.
I woke with a jolt of surprise. A heavy weight crushed me and a harsh voice spit ugly, nasty words into my ear. Panic gripped me, cutting off my air.
Not again. No…Please, no…
My stepbrother’s hand covered my mouth and he yanked my legs apart. I felt the hard thing between his legs poking blindly, trying to push into my body. My scream was muffled by his palm smashed over my lips and I cringed away, my heart pounding so hard I thought it would burst. Nathan was so heavy. So heavy and strong. I couldn’t buck him off. I couldn’t shove him away.
Stop it! Get off me. Don’t touch me. Oh, God…please don’t do that to me…not again…
Where was Mama? Ma-ma!
I screamed, but Nathan’s hand covered my mouth. It pressed down on me, squashing my head into the pillow. The more I fought, the more excited he became. Panting like a dog, he rammed against me over and over…trying to shove himself inside me…
“You’re going to know what it feels like.”
I froze. I knew that voice. I knew it wasn’t Nathan’s.
Not a dream. Still a nightmare.
God, no. Blinking madly in the darkness, I struggled to see. The blood was roaring through my ears. I couldn’t hear.
But I knew the smell of her skin. Knew her touch, even when it was cruel. Knew the feel of her body on mine, even as it tried to invade me.
Lauren’s erection battered into the crease of my thigh. Panicked, I heaved upward with all my strength. Her hand on my face dislodged.
Sucking air into my lungs, I screamed.
Her chest heaved as she growled, “Not so neat and tidy when you’re the one getting fucked.”
“Crossfire,” I gasped.
A flash of light from the hallway blinded me, followed by the blessed removal of Lauren’s smothering weight. Rolling to my side, I sobbed, my eyes streaming tears that blurred my view of Cary shoving Lauren across the room and into the wall, denting the drywall.
“Camila! Are you okay?” Cary turned on the bedside light, cursing when he saw me curled in a fetal position, rocking violently.
When Lauren straightened, Cary rounded on her. “Move one fucking muscle before the cops get here and I’ll beat you to a bloody pulp!”
Swallowing past my burning throat, I pushed up to a seated position. My gaze locked with Lauren’s and I watched the haze of sleep leave her eyes, replaced by a dawning horror.
“Dream,” I choked out, catching Cary’s arm as he reached for the phone. “she’s d-dreaming.”
Cary glanced at where Lauren crouched naked on the floor like a wild animal. Cary’s arm dropped back to his side. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed. “And I thought I was fucked up.”
Sliding off the bed, I stood on shaky legs, sick with lingering fear. My knees gave out and Cary caught me, lowering to the floor with me and holding me as I cried.
“I’m gonna crash on the couch.” Cary ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair and leaned into the hallway wall. The door to my bedroom was open behind me and Lauren was inside, looking pale and haunted. “I’ll set out some blankets and pillows for her, too. I don’t think she should go home alone. she’s shredded.”
“Thanks, Cary.” The arms I had wrapped around my middle tightened. “Is Tatiana still here?”
“Hell, no. It’s not like that. We just fuck.”
“What about Trey?” I asked quietly, my mind already drifting back to Lauren.
“I love Trey. I think he’s the best person I’ve ever met aside from you.” He bent forward and kissed my forehead. “And what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Stop worrying about me and take care of you.”
I looked up at him, my eyes swimming in tears. “I don’t know what to do.”
Cary sighed, his green eyes dark and serious. “I think you need to decide if you’re in over your head, baby girl. Some people can’t be fixed. Look at me. I’ve got a great guy and I’m giving it to a girl I can’t stand.”
“Cary…” Reaching out, I touched his shoulder.
He caught my hand and squeezed it. “I’m here if you need me.”
Lauren was zipping up her duffel bag when I returned to my room. she looked at me and fear slithered in my gut. Not for me, but for her. I’d never seen anyone look so desolate, so utterly broken. The bleakness in her beautiful eyes frightened me. There was no life in her. she was gray as death with deep shadows in all the angles and planes of her breathtaking face.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
she backed up, as if she wanted to be as far away from me as she could get. “I can’t stay.”
It worried me that I felt a surge of relief at the thought of being alone. “We agreed—no running.”
“That was before I attacked you!” She snapped, showing the first sign of spirit in over an hour.
“You were unconscious.”
“You’re not going to be a victim ever again, Camila. My God…what I almost did to you…” she turned her back to me, her shoulders hunched in a way that scared me as much as the attack had.
“If you leave, we lose and our pasts win.” I saw my words hit her like a blow. Every light in my room was on, as if electricity alone could banish all the shadows on our souls. “If you give up now, I’m afraid it’ll be easier for you to stay away and for me to let you. We’ll be over, Lauren.”
“How can I stay? Why would you want me to?” Turning around, she looked at me with such longing it brought fresh tears to my eyes. “I’d kill myself before I hurt you.”
Which was one of my fears. I had a difficult time picturing the Lauren I knew—the dominant, willful force of nature—taking her own life, but the Lauren standing before me was an entirely different person. And she was the child of a suicidal parent.
My fingers plucked at the hem of my T-shirt. “You’d never hurt me.”
“You’re afraid of me,” she said hoarsely. “I can see it on your face. I’m afraid of me. Afraid of sleeping with you and doing something that will destroy us both.”
she was right. I was afraid. Dread chilled my stomach.
Now I knew the explosive violence in her. The festering fury. And we were so impassioned with each other. I’d slapped her face at the garden party, lashing out physically when I never did that.
It was the nature of our relationship to be lusty and emotional, earthy and raw. The trust that held us together also opened us up to each other in ways that made us both vulnerable and dangerous. And it would get worse before it got better.
she shoved a hand through her hair. “Camila, I—”
“I love you, Lauren.”
“God.” she looked at me with something that resembled disgust. Whether it was directed at me or herself, I didn’t know. “How can you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
“You just see this”—she gestured at herself with a wave of her hand. “You’re not seeing the fucked-up, broken mess inside.”
I inhaled sharply. “You can say that to me? When you know I’m fucked up and broken, too?”
“Maybe you’re wired to go for someone who’s terrible for you,” she said bitterly.
“Stop it. I know you’re hurting, but lashing out at me is only going to make you hurt worse.” I glanced at the clock and saw it was four in the morning. I walked toward her, needing to get past my fear of touching her and being touched by her.
she held up a hand as if to hold me off. “I’m going home, Camila.”
“Sleep on the couch here. Don’t fight me about this, Lauren. Please. I’ll worry myself sick if you go.”
“You’ll be more worried if I stay.” she stared at me, looking lost and angry and filled with terrible yearning. Her eyes pleaded with me for forgiveness, but she wouldn’t accept it when I tried to give it to her.
I went to her and took her hand, fighting back the surge of apprehension that hit me when we touched. My nerves were still raw, my throat and mouth still sore, the memory of her attempts at penetration—so like Nathan’s—were still too fresh. “We’ll g-get through this,” I promised her, hating that my voice quavered. “You’ll talk to Dr. Petersen and we’ll go from there.”
Her hand lifted as if to touch my face. “If Cary hadn’t been here—”
“He was, and I’ll be fine. I love you. We’ll get past this.” I walked into her, hugging her, pushing my hands beneath her shirt to touch her bare skin. “We’re not going to let the past get in the way of what we have.”
I wasn’t sure which of us I was trying to convince.
“Camila.” Her returning hug squeezed all of the air out of me. “I’m sorry. It’s killing me. Please. Forgive me…I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.” My eyes closed, focusing on the feel of her. The smell of her. Remembering that I once feared nothing when I was with her.
“I’m so sorry.” Her shaking hands stroked the curve of my spine. “I’ll do anything…”
“Shh. I love you. We’ll be okay.”
Turning her head, she kissed me softly. “Forgive me, Camila. I need you. I’m afraid of what I’ll become if I lose you…”
“I’m not going anywhere.” My skin tingled beneath the restless glide of her hands on my back. “I’m right here. No more running.”
she paused, her breath gusting harshly against my lips. Then she tilted her head and sealed her mouth over mine. My body responded to the gentle coaxing of her kiss. I arched into her without volition, pulling her closer.
she cupped my breasts in her hands, kneading them, circling the pads of her thumbs over my nipples until they peaked and ached. I moaned with a mixture of fear and hunger, and she quivered at the sound.
“Camila…?”
“I—I can’t.” The memory of how I’d woken up was too fresh in my mind. It hurt me to deny her, knowing she needed the same thing from me as I’d needed from her when I told her about Nathan—proof that the desire was still there, that as ugly as the scars of our pasts were, they didn’t affect what we were to each other now.
But I couldn’t give her that. Not yet. I felt too raw and vulnerable. “Just hold me, Lauren. Please.”
she nodded, wrapping her arms around me.
I urged her to sink to the floor with me, hoping I could get her to fall asleep. I curled into her side, my leg thrown over her, my arm draped over her hard stomach. she squeezed me gently, pressing her lips to my forehead, whispering over and over again how sorry she was.
“Don’t leave me,” I whispered. “Stay.”
Lauren didn’t answer, didn’t make any promises, but she didn’t let me go either.
I woke sometime later, hearing Lauren’s heart beating steadily beneath my ear. All the lights were still on, and the carpeted floor was hard and uncomfortable.
Lauren lay on her back, her beautiful face youthful in sleep, her shirt lifted just enough to expose her navel and the ripped muscles of her abdomen.
This was the woman I loved. This was the woman whose body gave me such pleasure, whose thoughtfulness moved me over and over again. she was still here. And from the frown that marred the space between her brows, she was still hurting.
I slid my hand into her sweatpants. For the first time since we’d been together, she wasn’t hot steel in my palms, but she quickly swelled and thickened as I tentatively stroked her from root to tip. Fear lingered just beneath my arousal, but I was more afraid of losing her than of living with the demons inside her.
she stirred, her arm tightening around my back. “Camila…?”
This time I answered her the way I couldn’t before. “Let’s forget,” I breathed into her mouth. “Make us forget.”
“Camila.”
she rolled into me, peeling my shirt off with cautious movements. I was similarly tentative in undressing her. We approached each other as if each of us was breakable. The bond between us was fragile just then, both of us apprehensive about the future and the wounds we could inflict with all of our jagged edges.
Her lips wrapped around my nipple, her cheeks hollowing slowly, her seduction subdued. The tender suckling felt so good I gasped and arched into her hand. she caressed my side from breast to hip and back again, over and over, gentling me as my heart raced wildly.
she kissed across my chest to the other breast, murmuring words of apology and need in a voice broken by regret and misery. Her tongue lapped at the hardened point, worrying it, before surrounding it with wet heat and suction.
“lauren.” The delicate pulls expertly coaxed desire through my skittish mind. My body was already lost in her, greedily seeking the pleasure and beauty of her.
“Don’t be afraid of me,” she whispered. “Don’t pull away.”
she kissed my navel, and then moved lower, her hair caressing my stomach as she settled between my legs. she held me open with shaking hands and nuzzled my clit. her light, teasing licks through my cleft and the fluttering dips into my trembling sex took me to the edge of insanity.
My back bowed. Hoarse pleas left my lips. Tension spread through my body, tightening everything until I felt like I might snap under the pressure. And then she pushed me into orgasm with the softest nudge of the tip of her tongue.
I cried out, heated relief pulsing through my writhing body.
“I can’t let you go, camila.” lauren levered over me as I vibrated with pleasure. “I can’t.”
Brushing away the tear tracks from her face, I stared into her reddened eyes. Her torment was painful for me to witness, hurting my heart. “I wouldn’t let you if you tried.”
she took herself in hand and fed her cock slowly, carefully into me. My head pressed hard into the floor as she sank deeper, possessing my body one thick inch at a time.
When I’d taken all of her, she began to move in measured, deliberate thrusts. I closed my eyes and focused on the connection between us. Then she settled onto me, her stomach pressed to mine, and my pulse leaped with panic. Abruptly frightened, I hesitated.
“Look at me, camila.” Her voice was so hoarse it was unrecognizable.
I did, and saw her anguish.
“Make love to me,” she begged in a breathless whisper. “Make love with me. Touch me, angel. Put your hands on me.”
“Yes.” My palms pressed flat to her back; then stroked over the quivering muscles to her ass. Squeezing the hard flexing flesh, I urged her to move faster, plunge deeper.
The rhythmic strokes of her heavy cock through the clenching depths of my sex pushed ecstasy through me in heated waves. she felt so good. My legs wrapped around her plunging hips, my breath quickening as the cold knot inside me began to melt. Our gazes held.
Tears coursed down my temples. “I love you, lauren.”
“Please…” her eyes squeezed shut.
“I love you.”
she lured me to orgasm with the skilled rolling of her hips, stirring her cock inside me. My sex clenched tightly, trying to hold her, trying to keep her deep in me.
“Come, camila,” she gasped against my throat.
I struggled for it, struggled to get past the lingering apprehension that came from having her on top of me. The anxiety mingled with the desire, keeping me on edge.
she made a hoarse sound filled with pain and regret. “Need you to come, camila…need to feel you…Please…”
Cupping my buttocks, she angled my hips and stroked over and over that sensitive spot inside me. she was tireless, relentless, fucking me long and hard until my mind lost control of my body and I came violently. I bit her shoulder to stem my cries as I shook beneath her, the tiny muscles inside me trembling with ecstatic ripples. she groaned deep in her chest, a serrated sound of tormented pleasure.
“More,” she ordered, deepening her drives to give me that delectable bite of soreness. That she once again trusted us both enough to introduce that little touch of pain chased away the last of my reservations. As much as we trusted each other, we were learning to trust our instincts, too.
I came again, ferociously, my toes curling until they cramped. I felt the familiar tension grip lauren and tightened my grasp on her hips, spurring her on, desperate to feel her spurting inside me.
“No!” she wrenched away, falling to her back and throwing an arm over her eyes. Punishing herself by denying her body the comfort and pleasure of mine.
Her chest heaved and glistened with sweat. Her cock lay heavily on her belly, brutal-looking with its broad purpled head and thick roping of veins.
I dove for it with hands and mouth, ignoring her vicious curse. Pinning her torso with my forearm, I pumped her hard with my other fist and sucked voraciously on the sensitive crown. her thighs quivered, her legs kicking restlessly.
“Damn it, camila. Fuck.” she stiffened and gasped, her hands shoving into my hair, her hips bucking. “Oh, fuck. Suck it hard…Ah, Christ…”
she exploded in a powerful rush that almost choked me, coming hard, flooding my mouth. I took it all, my fist milking pulse after pulse up the throbbing length of her cock, swallowing repeatedly until she shuddered with the surfeit of sensation and begged me to stop.
I straightened and lauren sat up and wrapped herself around me. she took me back down to the floor where she buried her face in my throat and cried until dawn.
I wore a black long-sleeved silk blouse and slacks to work on Tuesday, feeling the need to have a barrier between myself and the world. In the kitchen, lauren cupped my face in her hands and brushed her mouth across mine with heartrending tenderness. her gaze remained haunted.
“Lunch?” I asked, feeling like we needed to cling to the connection between us.
“I have a business lunch.” she ran her fingers through my loose hair. “Would you come? I’ll make sure Angus gets you back to work on time.”
“I’d love to come along.” I thought of the schedule of evening events, meetings, and appointments she’d sent to my smartphone. “And tomorrow night we have a benefit dinner at the Waldorf=Astoria?”
Her gaze softened. Dressed for work, she looked somber yet collected. I knew she was anything but.
“You really won’t give up on me, will you?” she asked quietly.
I held up my right hand and showed her my ring. “You’re stuck with me, jauregui. Get used to it.”
On the drive to work, she cuddled me in her lap, and again on the ride to lunch at Jean Georges. I didn’t speak more than a dozen words during the meal, which lauren ordered for me and I enjoyed immensely.
I sat quietly at her side, my left hand resting on her hard thigh beneath the tablecloth, a wordless affirmation of my commitment to her. To us. One of her hands rested over mine, warm and strong, as she discussed a new property in development on St. Croix. We kept that connection throughout the entire meal, each of us choosing to eat one-handed rather than separate.
With each hour that passed, I felt the horror of the night before drain away from both of us. It would be another scar to add to her collection, another bitter memory she’d always have, a memory I would share and fear along with her, but it wouldn’t rule us. We wouldn’t let it.
Angus was waiting to take me home when my day ended. Lauren was working late, and then going directly from the Crossfire to Dr. Petersen’s office. I used the length of the drive to steel myself for the next round of training with Parker. I debated skipping it, but ended up deciding it was important to keep to a routine. So much in my life was uncontrollable at the moment. Following a schedule was one of the few things totally within my power.
After an hour and a half of tagging and groundwork with Parker at the studio, I was relieved when Clancy dropped me off at home and proud of myself for working out when it was the last thing I’d wanted to do.
When I stepped into the lobby, I found Trey talking to the front desk.
“Hey,” I greeted him. “Going up?”
He turned to face me, his brown eyes warm and his smile open. Trey had a gentleness to him, a kind of straightforward naïveté that was different from the other relationships Cary’d had before. Or maybe I should just say Trey was “normal,” which so few of the people in my and Cary’s lives were.
“Cary’s not in,” he said. “They just tried calling.”
“You’re welcome to come up with me and wait. I won’t be going out again.”
“If you really don’t mind.” He fell into step beside me as I waved at the gal at the front desk and moved toward the elevators. “I brought something for him.”
“I don’t mind at all,” I assured him, returning his sweet smile.
He eyed my yoga pants and tank top. “You just get back from the gym?”
“Yeah. Despite it being one of those days when I’d rather have done anything else.”
He laughed as we stepped into the elevator. “I know that feeling.”
As we rode up, silence descended. It was weighted.
“Everything all right?” I asked him.
“Well…” Trey adjusted the sling of his backpack. “Cary’s just seemed a little off the last few days.”
“Oh?” I bit my lower lip. “In what way?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I just feel like maybe something’s up with him and I’m missing what it is.”
I thought of the blonde and winced inwardly. “Maybe he’s stressed about the Grey Isles job and he doesn’t want to bother you with it. He knows you’ve got your hands full with your job and school.”
The tension in his shoulders softened. “Maybe that’s it. It makes sense. Okay. Thank you.”
I let us in to the apartment and told him to make himself at home. Trey headed to Cary’s room to drop his stuff, while I went to the phone to check the voicemail.
A shout from down the hallway had me reaching for the phone for a different reason, my heart thudding with thoughts of intruders and imminent danger. More yelling followed, with one voice clearly belonging to Cary.
I exhaled in a rush, relieved. With the phone in my hand, I ventured to see what the hell was going on. I was nearly run over by Tatiana rounding the hallway corner still buttoning her blouse.
“Oops,” she said, with an unapologetic grin. “See ya.”
I couldn’t hear the door shut behind her over Trey’s shouting.
“Fuck you, Cary. We talked about this! You promised!”
“You’re blowing this out of proportion,” Cary barked. “It’s not what you think.”
Trey came storming out of Cary’s bedroom in such a rush that I plastered myself to the hallway wall to get out of his way. Cary followed, with a sheet slung around his waist. As he passed me, I shot him a narrow-eyed glance that earned me a fuck-off middle finger.
I left the two men alone and escaped into my shower, angry at Cary for once again ruining something good in his life. It was a pattern I kept hoping he’d break, but he couldn’t seem to kick it.
When I came out to the kitchen a half hour later, the stillness in the apartment was absolute. I focused on cooking dinner, deciding to go with a pork roast and new potatoes with asparagus, one of Cary’s favorite dinners, in case he was home for dinner and needed some cheering up.
The sight of Trey stepping into the hallway while I was putting the roast in the oven surprised me, and then it made me sad. I hated to see him leave looking flushed, disheveled, and crying. My pity turned to fierce disappointment when Cary joined me in the kitchen with the scent of male sweat and sex clinging to him. He shot me a scowl as he passed me on his way to the wine fridge.
I faced him with my arms crossed. “Screwing a heartbroken lover on the same sheets he’s just caught you cheating on isn’t going to make things better.”
“Shut up, camila.”
“He’s probably hating himself right now for giving in.”
“I said shut the fuck up.”
“Fine.” I turned away from him and focused on seasoning the potatoes to put in the oven with the roast.
Cary grabbed wineglasses out of the cupboard. “I can feel you judging me. Stop it. He wouldn’t be half as pissed if it’d been a man he caught me fucking.”
“It’s all his fault, huh?”
“Newsflash: Your love life isn’t perfect either.”
“Low blow, Cary. I’m not going to be your punching bag over this. You messed up, and then you made it worse. It’s all on you.”
“Don’t get on your damn high horse. You’re sleeping with a woman who’s going to rape you any day now.”
“It’s not like that!”
He snorted and leaned his hip against the counter, his green eyes filled with pain and anger. “If you’re going to make excuses for her because she’s sleeping when she attacks you, you’ll have to make those same excuses for drunks and druggies. They don’t know what they’re doing either.”
The truth of his words struck me hard, as did the fact that he was deliberately trying to wound me. “You can put down a bottle. You can’t quit sleeping.”
Straightening, Cary opened the bottle he’d selected and poured two glasses, sliding one across the counter toward me. “If anyone knows what it’s like to be involved with people who hurt you, it’s me. You love her. You want to save her. But who’s going to save you, camila? I’m not always going to be around when you’re with her and he’s a ticking time bomb.”
“You wanna talk about being in relationships that hurt, Cary?” I shot back, deflecting him away from my painful truths. “Did you screw Trey over to protect yourself? Did you figure you’d push him away before he had the chance to disappoint you?”
Cary’s mouth curved bitterly. He tapped his glass to mine, which still sat on the counter. “Cheers to us, the seriously fucked up. At least we have each other.”
He stalked out of the room and I deflated. I’d known this was coming—the unraveling of circumstances too good to be true. Contentment and happiness didn’t exist in my life for more than a few moments at a time, and they were really only illusionary.
There was always something hidden. Lying in wait to spring up and ruin everything.
Lauren arrived just as dinner was coming out of the oven. she had a garment bag in one hand and a laptop case in the other. I’d worried that she would try to go home alone after her session with Dr. Petersen and was relieved when she’d called to say she was on her way. Still, when I first opened the door and saw her on the threshold, a shiver of unease slid through me.
“Hey,” she said quietly, following me back into the kitchen. “Smells delicious in here.”
“I hope you’re hungry. There’s a lot of food and I’ll be surprised if Cary joins us to help eat it all.”
lauren dropped her stuff on the breakfast bar and approached me cautiously, her gaze searching my face as she neared. “I brought some things with me to stay the night, but I’ll go if you want. At any time. Just tell me.”
I blew out my breath in a harsh rush, determined not to let fear dictate my actions. “I want you here.”
“I want to be here.” she paused beside me. “Can I hold you?”
I turned into her and squeezed her hard. “Please.”
she pressed her cheek against mine and hugged me close. The embrace wasn’t as natural and easy as we’d grown used to. There was a new wariness between us that was different from anything we’d felt before.
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skeptycats · 4 years
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Vicky Archives #1
INTO THE WILD - “A stranger in a strange land.”
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I’ve been meaning to start transcribing these for a while now. If you don’t already know, Vicky Holmes, the former editor of the Warriors series, has been doing short extract readings on Facebook since the start of the UK lockdown back in March! There’s some really cool anecdotes hidden within some of these videos, so I thought I’d begin penning them down for posterity and easy reference.
I won’t be transcribing filler, hedging and false starts but I’m including some amount of preamble just to be comprehensive.
#1 Into the Wild | #2 Forest of Secrets | #3 The Darkest Hour | #4 Code of the Clans | #5 Firestars’ Quest | #6 Twilight | #7 Long Shadows | #8 Leafpool’s Wish
Hello! Welcome to my house. I’d very much like to be broadcasting this from my beautiful study, with all my books in the background, but my house is 500 years old and the walls are very thick, so I only have Internet in one room - my sitting room - so this is it! And yes, that is a real tomahawk on the mantlepiece. 
I’m going to start today with Into the Wild, the very first Warriors book. Kate Cary and I worked on this... 18, 19 years ago? Back in 2001. It was published on the 1st of July, 2003. Before many of you will have even been born, I suspect, which makes me feel incredibly old. 
The scene I’m going to read is when Rusty, or Sammy as he was in German, first goes into the forest and encounters a Clan cat. He’s heard about the forest, he’s heard gossip about the Clan cats eating the bones of domestic cats and being completely wild and scary, and he’s very curious and he’s very brave, and these are really important qualities in his character. 
Rusty stood very still and looked around. He could see the white tip of a red bushy tail trailing through a clump of tall ferns up ahead. He smelled a strong, strange scent, definitely a meat-eater, but neither cat nor dog. Distracted, Rusty forgot about the mouse and watched the red tail curiously. He wanted a better look. 
All of Rusty’s senses strained ahead as he prowled forward. Then he detected another noise. It came from behind, but sounded muted and distant. He swiveled his ears backward to hear it better. Pawsteps? he wondered, but he kept his eyes fixed on the strange red fur up ahead, and continued to creep onward. It was only when the faint rustling behind him became a loud and fast-approaching leaf-crackle that Rusty realized he was in danger. 
The creature hit him like an explosion and Rusty was thrown sideways into a clump of nettles. Twisting and yowling, he tried to throw off the attacker that had fastened itself to his back. It was gripping him with incredibly sharp claws. Rusty could feel spiked teeth pricking at his neck. He writhed and squirmed from whisker to tail, but he couldn’t free himself. For a second he felt helpless; then he froze. Thinking fast, he flipped over onto his back. He knew instinctively how dangerous it was to expose his soft belly, but it was his only chance. 
He was lucky—the ploy seemed to work. He heard a “hhuuffff” beneath him as the breath was knocked out of his attacker. Thrashing fiercely, Rusty managed to wriggle free. Without looking back he sprinted toward his home. 
Behind him, a rush of pawsteps told Rusty his attacker was giving chase. Even though the pain from his scratches stung beneath his fur, Rusty decided he would rather turn and fight than let himself be jumped on again. 
He skidded to a stop, spun around, and faced his pursuer. 
It was another kitten, with a thick coat of shaggy gray fur, strong legs, and a broad face. In a heartbeat, Rusty smelled that it was a tom, and sensed the power in the sturdy shoulders underneath the soft coat. Then the kitten crashed into Rusty at full pelt. Taken by surprise by Rusty’s turnabout, it fell back into a dazed heap. 
The impact knocked the breath out of Rusty, and he staggered. He quickly found his footing and arched his back, puffing out his orange fur, ready to spring onto the other kitten. But his attacker simply sat up and began to lick a forepaw, all signs of aggression gone.
Rusty felt strangely disappointed. Every part of him was tense, ready for battle.
“Hi there, kittypet!” meowed the gray tom cheerily. “You put up quite a fight for a tame kitty!”
So this basically sets the theme for the introduction to the Clan, which is “a stranger in a strange land”. The Clans are very strange to us, we needed to introduce them to the readers, and the best way to introduce a completely new world is through the eyes of someone who is a stranger to that world themselves. For example, a spaceman landing on a planet, he would describe everything he sees, what he feels, the emotions, his experiences... Or even something like going to a new school. It’s really by far the best way to immerse your narrator into his surroundings and really engage with the narrator, so that we learn at the same time as they do. 
[The broadcast is cut off due to Internet issues, then resumes]
I’m very sorry about that. The Internet went down. This might be a problem, I might have to find somewhere else because I have very weak Internet out here in the sticks. 
Anyway, I was talking about how Rusty is the “stranger in the strange land”. This idea that the best way to translate a brand new experience is by creating a protagonist, a central character, who is new to that experience. 
So if you are homeschooling and would like an idea for creative writing today, my suggestion would be a story of a stranger in a strange land. So that could be a new kid at school, maybe a domestic pet, like a hamster having to live in the wild. Anywhere where your main character is thrown into a very new and strange environment. 
Also, I’d like to suggest you look at the books you’re reading at the moment and see which of those features people immersing in new experiences. Tamburlaine by Christopher Marlowe is a 16th century play which defines “stranger in a strange land”, as does The Jew of Malta. There’s examples throughout history, throughout literature in which we follow the adventures of someone who is new to the things around them.
Looking back at Into the Wild, now, it’s very interesting because of course it was the first book that Kate and I worked on together, and the writing feels very naive to me. We hadn’t quite found our footing. If I worked on the book again, if I was to edit it again, I think I would make it sound very different. I think we hadn’t found our Erin Hunter ‘voice’ at this stage. The writing lacks the integrity, I think, the naturalness of Erin Hunter as the voice developed later on. 
But it’s charming to go back, it’s charming to remember that this was one of the first projects I ever edited or created, and it was very much a “flying under the radar” project. It was just one book about cats for HarperCollins, and I was a very inexperienced editor. It was just an opportunity, really, to give me a bit of practice. Nobody, least of all me, dreamt of where it’d end up, and that I would spend most of my career writing about cats.
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chosenkeepersworld · 4 years
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Callum❤Morgan
Original Work Work Count: 4,521 words Date posted: 09/30/20 Author’s Note: Unbeta’d but I hope you guys still like it and as always every comment and critique is appreciated.
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Morgan groaned as she brought the last box into her dorm room. she assessed her living situation seeing the two beds were still empty making it clear that her roommate had not yet arrived.
College was definitely something Morgan had been looking forward to. She loved living with her mother at the ranch but she was excited for a change in scenery. She was ready for something new.
However there would always be a kind of sadness that would never leave, after all Morgan never thought of going through the high milestones in her life without her other half.
But now was not the time to dwell on what was not here.
Morgan began pulling out her things, intent on setting up her side of the room before her roommate's arrival. And like she always did when she was doing any kind of work. Morgan began to hum. Many of the songs that would get stuck in her head were often from video games, anime or her favorite series.
Halfway through, she could hear another voice joining in, one that was distinctly male. Morgan gasped immediately straightening and turning but only found an open and empty doorway. The brunette quickly peeked out into the hall, checking to see if there was anyone still lingering, but all she could see were students going up and down  the hall and  in and out of their rooms. There was no one shooting sly glances toward her.
She moved back into her room, shutting the door this time, and continued her work.
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It was still a little early for Morgan's next class, but the room was empty and the brunette wanted to get a good seat. It was a habit she never shook off, being early for things made a good impression, and a good impression was something Morgan wanted to last.
She wasn't going to college just for herself after all.
But since there was still time before class…
Morgan quickly pulled her laptop out of her bag and checked on the news for upcoming games that she was waiting for as well as news  from the developers she followed, as she read through the comments she unconsciously began  humming another song from a game she had been playing. She was so engrossed in her task that she did not notice someone had entered the room.
Her humming was then accompanied by another, a deeper clearly male voice. Morgan's head snapped towards the sound to see a boy, her age, sitting across the aisle from her.  He had short, shaggy, dark curls that fell in his forehead. His bright blue amused  eyes stared at her from behind a set of wide rimmed glasses. He gave her a sheepish smile.
Heat crept up Morgan's cheeks, causing her to look away in embarrassment. She wasn't doing anything wrong but the way he looked at her...
Morgan returned her laptop to her bag, still looking away from him, brought out her planner and started writing in it until class began.
And during it, she found out his name.
Callum
"I'll have fun" The brunette swore as her roommate led her into the sorority house later that evening.
"And I will make sure that you do" Carissa grinned as they  passed the bouncer at the door. Her older sister was part of the sorority the party was held in allowing Carissa a few advantages.
You would have never expected a girl like Carissa, clearly rich, well connected and stunningly attractive, to dorm. Imagine Morgan's surprise when her roommate came in wearing designer clothes, her hair styled and a man carrying about a dozen bags trailing behind her.
The brunette tensed when Carissa moved her sunglasses to the top of her head and surveyed the room before landing on Morgan. A great, wide smile spread across her face before she dropped her things and rushed at Morgan to give her the biggest, tightest hug she’d received so far.
“I’m so excited to meet you” Carissa squealed
“Nice to meet you too” Morgan wheezed
It didn’t take long for both girls to become friends, mostly due to Cari’s charisma and determination to include Morgan in every activity she could think of.
When Cari got invited it was the perfect opportunity to bring Morgan, who had been reading advanced material studiously for the past week. Carissa was determined to make sure Morgan had fun after what Cari considered was  a "hard week".
From the foyer they could see a large number of people milling around with drinks in their hands, laughing and enjoying themselves. Morgan swallowed thickly upon seeing the scene but one look at Cari's smiling face helped her relax. A young woman a year or two older spotted them and gave a squeal  of delight rushing away from her friends to wrap an arm around Carissa's shoulders and pressed her cheek against the younger woman's.
Carissa was quick enough to introduce the woman as her sister before being whisked off, leaving Morgan alone.
It didn't take long for Morgan to feel out of place prompting her to find her own little corner  away from everyone else. Eventually she found a spot with a good view and a cold breeze, there was a small balcony up in the attic that you can access through a round window.
Morgan took a deep breath, her long, dark chestnut hair blew softly in the breeze. The view of the college  was breathtaking from this height and distance, she could see the class buildings, the park and courtyard further out she could spot her dorm building. Looking down she could see the people milling around, going in and out of the house.
There were times when she felt so removed from other people, like she couldn't find a connection with some of them. Morgan knew she wasn't like most people, her childhood made it pretty clear that she wasn't, but now as an adult she still had difficulties socializing. It made her uneasy when she thinks about it.
These were the days when Morgan missed her sister the most. They spent a number of years together before her sister was taken from her, they had been inseparable but then Morgan spent many of what was meant to be their milestones alone.
Man, life was a real b-
The sound of whistling from behind her  cut her off from her thoughts, she turned to see who it was but her hand slipped from the edge of the balcony, the railing was really low, causing her to lose balance and fall on the other side of the rail.
She briefly glimpsed Callum's panicked face as she went over.
"You could have killed me!" Morgan slapped at Callum's arm, he leaned away until the brunette finally stopped with a huff. Morgan had caught on one of the railing grills to keep her from plummeting to her death, Callum rushed out onto the balcony to help her up. The both of them collapsed once Morgan was safely back on the balcony.
"I am sorry about surprising you and causing you to nearly fall to death but maybe, and hear me out here, just maybe you shouldn't be leaning so far out the railing." Callum said with a shrug.
"What were you doing up here anyway?" Morgan asked, bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. He sighed, settling beside her "I saw you and your friend come in and saw you come up"
Morgan raised an eyebrow "So you followed me?"
His cheeks coloured "You could say that"
She chuckled causing Callum to smile too, the young man dangled his body to face her and held out his hand "Callum Caraway, nice to officially meet you"
Morgan stared at the dark haired man's hand, suddenly feeling shy, gently she took his hand and gave it a firm shake "It's a pleasure to meet you Callum, my name is Morgan"
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Callum was sitting on a park bench, laughing quietly to himself as he scrolled through the community forums he had joined, keeping himself busy while he waited for her. To say Morgan was dedicated was an understatement, due to her academic record she'd been allowed in a tutoring program to help students who were having difficulties in their classes and it was undeniable that she would be a good tutor however Morgan had also joined an arts organization and was doing her best to be active and help out with what the organization needed.
This would often lead to her coming home later than normal. But since Callum's practices often ran late he would often wait for her, like he was now.
It didn't take long for him to hear someone running on the paths, a moment later Morgan appears holding all her things, her vibrant green eyes lighting up at the sight of him.
She finally reached him, dropping her butt on the bench, right next to him "You know you really don't have to wait for me every night. I feel bad that you have to sit here and wait instead of getting back to your dorm right away"
He waved his hand dismissively "I told you before I don't mind. And what kind of friend would I be if I let you walk home alone at night?"
Disappointment washed over Morgan, it had been months since they'd first met and to be honest she really did like him, she'd started dropping hints two weeks ago but Cal had not noticed.  
God, she was acting like an idiot! Waiting for a guy to notice and take action. She did not get where she was now by being idle.
Callum stood, slipping on the strap of his duffle "Back to the dorm?"
A bulb lit up in her head, and she made the first step.
"Actually" she cleared her throat and spoke again more firmer this time "Actually no. You don't have class tomorrow right?"
His brows furrowed in confusion "Yeah, why?"
"I want to treat you for waiting for me for the past few weeks. I don't feel that just saying thank you will be enough for what you've been doing"
His gaze softened "Morgan, you know you don't have to do this"
"I know I don't have to, but I want to Cal"
"I don't need you to pay me back" he argued but blinked in surprise to see Morgan's face , under the park lamp, turn bright red starting from her cheeks spreading down her neck and chest "That's not the only reason why I'm asking you to go out with me tomorrow"
It hit him, she was asking him out on a date. Blood rose to his cheeks "Morgan…"
" I like you" she admitted "You wait for me after practice even though you could be at your dorm by now resting, you buy your roommate coffee and baked goods when you two have class in the morning, you don't lose your cool when that guy from your class texts you the same question for what feels like the hundredth time.
" You're sweet enough to help your mom plan your sister's birthday over video call" she grinned.
" I just wanted to help make her day special" he muttered
"The point is I like what I see right now and I want to see more" she explained gently "If after this date you think that we're better off friends then I'll be okay with that, all I ask is that we see if this could go further?"
Callum could not deny that he liked Morgan and liked spending time with her. She was passionate about her interests, so much so that the brunette had a tendency to make the wrong impression but when you get to know her better she can be sweet and thoughtful and funny…
Why the hell was he fighting this again?
Callum smiled "I can handle a trial run"
A bigger smile spread across Morgan's face, the unbridled joy lit up her eyes. The openness of her expression made his heart beat harder, it made him want to see her face make that expression more and he wanted to be the reason why she looked that way.
They walked back to their dorm rooms with an extra pep in their steps, looking ridiculously happy and as they walked side by side their fingers twitched with the need to take hold of the other person's hand.
"Sit still and let me work my magic!" Carissa grumbled running the comb as gently and as quickly through her roommate's hair .
Morgan winced as the comb caught a few snags, yanking on some strands of hair but other than that she kept silent.
She was mostly ready for her and Callum's date, she searched through her entire closet trying to find the nicest date outfit and barely got enough sleep for the next day.
Morgan wanted the date to definitely be fun and comfortable, relaying this thought to Callum before going their separate ways. The brunette wore a loose grey shirt, ripped jeans, nude gladiator style wedge sandals and her brown leather jacket along with some light make-up. Morgan's green eyes glanced at the clock, she still had a few minutes before Callum arrived.
"Done!"Cari held up another mirror behind Morgan, the pretty blonde styled her roommate's hair into a half up crown braid, just something simple but it suited Morgan well.
Green eyes widened in awe, there were very few times in Morgan's life that prompted her to put more than a minimal amount of effort into her appearance but when she did it never failed to surprise her.
"Gorgeous" Cari whispered, unable to keep her lips from forming a wide grin.
"Thank you so much for helping me. I don't think I could have done this"
"Sweetie, you have got to give yourself more credit. You are more capable than you think, without the make-up you already look pretty but with it on? Wow" she pretended to swipe her forehead "Callum won't know what hit him!"
As if on cue there was a knock at the door, the duo exchanged excited looks. Cari pushed Morgan towards the door and gave her a double thumbs up.
Morgan took a deep breath and opened the door, and there Callum stood with a bouquet of sunflowers in hand. His eyes widened as he took her in "You look…" he trailed off unable to get more words to come out of his mouth "Damn I can't get my mouth to work" he chuckled nervously.
Morgan gave him an amused smile "That's okay. Take your time"
It took him a few minutes but he was finally able to make coherent sentences again "You look absolutely amazing that I honestly feel inadequate just by standing beside you"
Blush quickly rose to the Morgan's cheeks "Well there you go, talking in full sentences" the brunette's hands rose to receive the flowers, it took Callum a second to register the movement before shoving the bouquet in the young woman's hands. She gave a quiet laugh and excused herself to put them in a vase.
While she was gone, Callum let out a breath of relief.
That could have been worse.
"Callum really that's not necessary"
"But I want to!" He insisted, gently wrestling the bag out of her weakening grip "You paid for lunch-"
"Which is what treating you means" she quipped
"-the least I can do is carry your bag while I walk you to class." He finally got the item out of her grip but made a noise  at the weight it carried. She made a move to get the bag back but her date moved it out of her reach causing her to pout.
Their date went really well, while they didn't do too many activities due to the time constraint they did the most important thing on a date: enjoy each other's company.
They had gone to lunch first, eating at a quaint little restaurant in town Carissa's sister recommended. The old couple who ran the restaurant were a lovely pair, and even after so many years together it was clear that they still loved each other dearly.
It was still a little early so there were plenty of seats still available. Callum and Morgan seated themselves in a booth by the window enjoying the view of the outside while they ate. They had ordered coffees afterwards and were surprised  when  a dessert had come with their orders.
"On the house" the waitress winked as she left them to enjoy their meal.
The couple shared a surprised look then Morgan giggled and Callum's ears turned red. They ate their dessert while the owners of the restaurant exchanged smiles.
Afterwards Morgan decided that a walk would help the full feeling in the stomachs. They walked around, checking the different things the stores in town occasionally making a purchase when something catches their eye. Eventually they came to the park, sitting on their bench cuddled close, their hands interlocked.
Their date was coming to an end so all they could do was prolong what time they had left.
Which lead to where they were now, playing keep away with Morgan's bag as Callum walked her to class. They finally reached their destination and Callum had to give his date her things back.
They lingered by the door, unwilling to end it.
"Did you have fun?" she asked him softly, so softly he almost didn't hear her.
" Yes" he responded
"And?" she prompted
"You're right ,I want to see where this might go" he admitted
She gave him that bright smile that made his heart beat faster, what she did next nearly made his heart stop. She lifted herself up on her toes and gingerly kissed his cheek.
"Your move now, Caraway" and with that she left him out in the hall, ears redder than apples and heart beating more wildly than before.
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Soft flakes fell around her as Morgan swung gently from the swings. The young woman sniffled and wiped at her nose with her sleeve. She was home for the holidays, but it was clearly going to be a miserable Christmas.
The first reason was her own fault, she was rushing around campus during the few weeks left before break trying to finish what little she had left to do when she got onto the soccer field, little did she know there was practice going on. One of the players was running full speed, dribbling the ball when the brunette stepped on causing the player to tackle the young woman into the ground. This resulted in a dislocated shoulder.
The next reason was no longer Morgan's fault. A day or so after arriving home the young woman received a rather alarming  email.  There were some issues with one of her professor's records which now meant a few students in that class are technically failing, Morgan included. The only solution was to gather up all her tests results and submissions over the course of the term and submit them for recording. Now all she could do was wait and hope that her professor finished computing their grades in time for submission.
The last reason was partially her fault. She and Callum  had the worst fight they'd ever had, they had been busy with classes and extracurricular commitments, but when they had a moment they would make plans to meet together just to talk, have a quick snack or even just hold hands for a minute or two before life knocked on each of their doors. But Callum always cancelled last minute, even if he was the one who called her. Morgan understood that the unexpected could happen but every time? There was just no way.
The last straw was after cancelling for the umpteenth time, because he had to work with his group mates on a project, his girlfriend decided to check on him only to find him and his friends goofing off with their project halfway finished with the deadline only a few days away. They had supposedly started a month or so ago.
She, to her embarrassment later on, had lost it. She could exactly remember what they said to each other but it was definitely bad. They haven't spoken to each other since then.
Morgan missed him and wanted to apologize. An apology over text or call did not seem enough, she'd have to look up more options. Morgan just hoped that when she made her move it wouldn't be too late.
She glanced at her watch, stood up and left the park, walking down the road leading to the center of town.
Every year the townspeople would gather together at the town's plaza and watch the giant tree at the center light up. As a child it was her favorite event, once the bright lights came on, the little's mood lightened as well.
But it did not seem like the trey's lights would brighten her mood this year. Morgan weaved her way around the crowd, careful of her still healing arm, trying to find her mother.
The brunette perked up when she caught sight of her mother, the young woman walked towards the older woman but slowed her approach when she saw a tall man, his back towards Morgan, talking to her mother. The older woman's face became alert, causing the man to turn.
It was definitely not an older man like Morgan thought, instead it was Callum. His face was flushed and was panting softly, puffs of air leaving his mouth.
Frozen in shock, she could only stare at her boyfriend's face as he came closer. The couple stood a short distance from each other, each unsure of what to do or say until they heard a voice from where Morgan's mother stood "For God's sake boy just say what you need to say!"
The voice was the kick to the butt needed to bring the two out of their immobilized states. Callum turned his head at the same time Morgan looked behind him to see the young woman's mother dragging her friend away to give the couple more privacy.
Morgan shook her head but couldn't help the smile from spreading across her face "Sorry about that"
"No need, it helped break the ice" he chuckled
She glanced at the crowd around them and peered up at him “Do you want to go somewhere more private?”
He nodded.
Morgan pressed her lips together then hesitantly stretched out her hand to him. Without any hesitation he took her hand and she led him on the road to reconciling their relationship .
Later that night, the couple was snuggled up on the couch. They had a long talk about their fight and their relationship, they still had a long way to go before their relationship was the way it was before.
But for now, as they cuddled on the couch, all they could think of was the time they were without each other.  Just a moment of peace together before the sun came up and they had to face the world again.
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She slept on the couch, her head nestled on a pillow and Morgan’s favorite blanket covering her slight frame. Morgan sighed as she stared at her sister with a trouble look on her face. Callum set his girlfriend’s mug on the table and pushed it in her direction. She turned and flashed him a smile before turning back to watch the young woman on the couch.
“Remind me again why, even though we’ve been dating for three years, you never talked about this twin that I met over a video call?”
Morgan closed her eyes and let out a tired breath and shifted in her seat to face him and her hot mug of cocoa “My sister and my father’s side of the family are very sore topics for both me and my mother. I love my sister and she, from a young age, showed incredible talent in a family art and was considered a prodigy. But my mom had no idea how to handle it so she called my paternal grandmother for help” Morgan swallowed thickly “My grandmother’s way of helping was to take my sister from us so she could develop her talents in the best environment possible”
Callum reached across the table and squeezed her hand “She never called or made any effort to communicate?”
The short haired brunette turned the hand Callum had so she could hold his hand while taking a sip of her drink “It’s not her fault, my grandmother lives in this really rural town, on an island that’s practically in the middle of nowhere”
He stared at her, silently taking in her expression and body language. Her sister’s sudden arrival was clearly not something that Morgan was taking well, after so long apart his girlfriend had no idea where she stood in Concordia's life but it was also clear that Morgan still loved her twin and wanted to know more about her which is why she was with them now.
Callum reached up to cup Morgan’s face “I understand that this is hard for you to talk about and that your sister being here is difficult for you also but I’m here for you.” he stood up and crouched in front of her, taking her other hand “I’ll take up some of your chores, I’ll stay with Ivan every now and then so you both of you can bond more?” he laughed  butt quieted when Cordia shifted on the couch.
Morgan gave a soft laugh “You don’t have to do that. Seeing you when I come home is always the highlight of my day” she stared into his eyes, looking more relaxed than she’d been in days “I love you”
Callum smiled and leaned in to press his mouth against hers. Morgan slid her hands up his chest to wrap them around his neck to deepen the kiss. The world fell away and it was just them, together.
They jumped apart when a loud sound came from the living room, Morgan’s sister turned in her sleep, her arm outstretched on the coffee table. The couple took in the sight and made varying noises of disgruntlement.
Callum looked down at his girlfriend with a sigh “We’ll work around it” he said hugging her close.
The short brunette closed her eyes, taking delight in the warmth and strength of Callum’s body. But a concern slipped into the young woman’s mind, Morgan couldn’t help but think of her sister’s presence and what changes it could do to Morgan’s life. She wasn’t worried about her sister specifically but when they were together Concordia’s talents had a tendency to bring out Morgan’s own abilities.  
As children they knew what to expect of their abilities and while Morgan knew Cordia had better control of her powers the younger twin was concerned about how her own abilities have developed.
She could only hope that her life would not become as complicated as it was now.
Of course in the next few weeks those hopes were died quite quickly.
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harry-leroy · 4 years
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👀 (I love your writing a lot :D)
Hi! Thank you so much for this:) (And thank you for that lovely comment on my writing, that made my day! ❤️) I apologize that it’s been a few days - normally I’ll send out and ask meme and then I’ll get crazy busy again as soon as I get asks (never fails!). But I hope you enjoy this - so this is some Dwight/George content for you. @upstartpoodle wrote this gorgeously heartbreaking fic about a scenario where George was actually taken to an institution, which I’ve also been thinking a lot about throughout watching S5, and especially after reading that fic. I’m gonna leave it under a cut because angst and it’s kinda long! Enjoy :)
“Might I examine him?” Dwight asked one of the other doctors, indicating George Warleggan out of the room full of shells of men. The man in question was standing by a small window, holding onto the wall and looking down at the floor with exhausted eyes. George appeared to stand apart from everyone else, though one could argue that Bedlam wasn’t much of a place for friends.
“To what purpose?” the doctor asked.
Dwight took a moment to comprehend that the man was nearly telling him no, which seemed absurd. He could barely look at the others in the room without feeling nauseous. If he could bring every one of them back to their homes he would, but he came there with a mission.
“I believe that he is fit to transition to being under my care,” Dwight said. “He was once a Member of Parliament. His family is quite well-known. It does not seem fit that he should be treated by a public hospital,”
The argument pained him. It didn’t seem fit for any of these men to be treated by a public hospital, especially one that treated its patients so terribly. Again, he had to think on when Cary had called him to Trenwith just two days before, looking himself somewhat ghostlike.
“Bring him home,” Cary had said. “Do whatever you can. They deny us when we go to visit. Valentine has been ill for some time now after George was taken and -“
It was not like Cary Warleggan to ramble, as he was generally known as being a man of few words. The man seemed to catch himself in the act. He took a breath.
“For God’s sake, just tell me he’s alive,”
It was then that Dwight understood that Cary had very little say in George being taken to an institution. None, in fact. The carriage had come to Trenwith without any warning. Faster than Cary or Valentine could comprehend, George was given a heavy dose of laudanum and dragged out of the house.
“I will do what I can,” Dwight’s heart ached even as he remembered the conversation. “Both for George and for Valentine,”
Dwight blinked the memory away as the doctor swung open the door to the room, allowing him to go get George and take him out and back to his little room down at the end of the hall.
He approached George slowly, taking him gently by the arm without saying anything at first. George turned around with incredibly slowness, losing his balance as he did and nearly falling, though Dwight held him steady.
“Mr. Warleggan,” Dwight began. “Come,”
“Where are we going?” George asked, his voice soft, tone exceedingly cautious and almost childlike.
“Home,” Dwight said, swallowing the urge to shed a tear at George’s state. He could feel it like a knot in his throat and under the back corners of his jaw.
“Oh,” George said, his constitution growing weaker with every moment he stood. Dwight noticed that he was trembling. His wrists were rubbed raw and they looked bonier than normal. His cheekbones were more defined. He hadn’t eaten, Dwight knew.
“Come,” Dwight began to walk forward, trying not to look at the other poor souls in that room. It reminded him almost too much of a certain French prison. In Dwight’s condition back in those days, he might have slipped into a similar place as his patient. He shuddered a little at the thought. George was slow to follow but eventually he did, looking at his feet and sometimes around at the other walls as he walked. Dwight was disheartened to see George’s stubborn pride beaten back into an innocent docility.
Once they had gotten to the door, Dwight nodded to the other doctor who had let him retrieve George. He felt his patient’s shakiness under his own arm where he held him.
“It’s alright,” Dwight said as he turned back to George.
George’s body took it like an order. Though still quite timid, he fought to control the trembling that had overtaken him, lest he get beaten again for continuing to show any weakness. What resulted was a kind of stiffness, a kind of position where the body settled when trying to convince itself and trying to persuade others that it was really alright.
“A little further, Mr. Warleggan,” Dwight became even more cautious upon seeing the man seize up. Once the other doctor began to follow, George kept moving for fear of being punished if he did not.
“Good,” Dwight said, trying to be encouraging, something he would have never tried had George been under his care for any other illness.
George’s room down at the end of the hall was nearly blocked from the light, though the setting sun gave them something to work with. There was a small bed made of straw in the corner. Next to it on the floor was a worn down piece of chalk and eighteen white lines marked down on the wall above it. It was, Dwight assumed, when the man stopped counting the days.
George stood in the middle of the room, unsure of where else to go or what else to do with himself. Dwight took the opportunity to begin his examination.
“Look at me for a moment, Mr. Warleggan,” Dwight said, his voice soft and gentle, almost as if he were talking to Caroline. George’s eyes turned towards the doctor with an incredible sense of lethargy. They seemed to have a difficult time focusing on Dwight as he blinked several times before looking in his general direction. Dwight took George’s wrist, the patient shying away from his touch. In George’s mind, he was prepared to be strapped down to a chair or chained to the wall once again, like he had been for the past two days. The only reason he was allowed some socialization today was that he had finally cried himself to sleep after hours of weeping and struggling. He was allowed out because he was now quiet. Dwight’s touch also aggravated the wrist’s broken skin, causing George to bite his tongue.
“I’m sorry,” George said, hiding his wrist from Dwight and tasting blood in his mouth. “Please, just don’t...”
He trailed off, now unsure of the sentence or the direction it was meant to be going in.
“It’s alright,” Dwight said. “If you will allow me to take your pulse,”
It was then that Dwight realized he needed to have much more patience than he might have expected. George normally wasn’t a man for patience and the conversations with him when he was healthy normally didn’t require much effort in that department, unless one were Ross Poldark. It wouldn’t be long before the man would start asking after George, so Dwight felt as though he had to hurry.
George extended his arm out this time, his fist still closed, though not tight. The two men exchanged a brief second of eye contact before George turned away, looking with blank eyes at the floor.
The pulse was quick, nearly unstable. Dwight felt his eyebrows furrow. As he held the red, angry wrist, he felt George start to tremble again.
“Has he been given any sedatives since his arrival here?” Dwight asked the other doctor, who had been watching their every move.
“Mr. Warleggan,” began the doctor, using the name as a point of mocking from how Dwight had used the same phrase earlier to address George. “refuses to take them. We find that other methods are better to keep him from hysteria,”
“Like chaining him to the wall?” Dwight said without a moment’s hesitation, staring straight into the doctor’s eyes. George looked up at this and tore his hand away from Dwight’s, keeping it now for himself. Out of his peripheral, Dwight could see George trying to rub his wrist as if to soothe it.
“George is mad. He needs restraint. He needs to keep his animality in check. What kind of place do you think we run here?” The doctor stepped forward.
“What George needs is kindness. What he needs is patience. You ask me what kind of place I think this is, and I think quite honestly that it is closer to Hell than to any kind of saving grace from madness,” Dwight spoke, the bitterness in his heart from what he had seen in the short time he had been there catching up to his tongue. “What other methods has George had to endure? What other tortures has he had to suffer through? When is the last time you checked his pulse? He’s -“
Dwight stopped when he noticed that George’s trembling had worsened. He was cowering slightly, feet turned away from the two men. His paleness had gotten worse. In this movement, George’s shirt had shifted slightly, exposing the skin on the upper back, on which Dwight saw parts of deep, bruised wounds. Wicked cuts surrounded by splotches of blue and black.
For the first time in a long while, Dwight winced. With quick resolve, he took George by the arm and looked back at the doctor, rage sitting on the throne of the irises.
“He’s coming back with me,”
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