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penwieldingdreamer · 3 years

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Dante's Prayer - A Peaky Blinders Story

It's been a while since I wrote anything regarding the fandoms I used to be active, but thanks to @fortheloveoffanfic I found another one that picked my interest. This is the first part of my Peaky Blinders story, let me know what you think. Like, reblog, comment if you want and let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

Summary:

When the dark wood fell before me And all the paths were overgrown, When the priests of pride say there is no other way I tilled the sorrows of stone.

I did not believe because I could not see Though you came to me in the night, When the dawn seemed forever lost You showed me your love in the light of the stars

- Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt -

Warnings: Mentions of war, mentions of sex, period-typical sexism, canon-typical violence

Words: 1410

Prologue

Outside of Birmingham, 1923

Breathless pants were the only sounds echoing in the silence of the small cottage.

"I missed ya so fookin' much." he mumbled against her back as they tried to catch their breaths and Arthur pulled the sheets over their naked bodies.

Niamh smiled at the sensation of his beard lightly scratching her skin, committing it to memory before he'd leave her again. "It's not my fault, you've been avoiding me."

"I know, I'm sorry." he sighed, running his fingers along the skin of her shoulder and neck. "I'm going to marry Linda."

Swallowing the lump that formed in her throat, the redhead blinked away the tears that were gathering in her eyes, thankful for facing away from the eldest Shelby brother. "I believe this means goodbye then?"

"It doesn't have to be goodbye." Arthur breathed, his lips languidly moving along her spine. "We ain't serious."

Turning her head towards him, Niamh shook her head. "We can't continue this, it was good while it lasted."

"Why not?" he asked, leaning onto his elbow to watch her closely. He had known her since before the war, occasionally having had a tryst under the bridge by the Cut and when he had been drafted he spent three days until his leaving with her, promising to return as the same man that he left but he couldn't keep that promise, just like he never could promise her his heart.

"I'm scared, Arthur." she finally said after a while, her voice vibrating in the quiet air.

Brushing his hair out of his face, he moved his hand closer to her face, his roughened fingers stroking along the column of her throat. "What are you scared of?"

Biting her lip, Niamh put her smaller hand on his own. "Of falling for you, like I'm trying to avoid ever since you have gotten back. You're marrying her and if we continue, you'll only break my heart." Her eyes turned red from the unshed tears she kept at bay the entire time.

"I never promised ye love." Arthur replied gruffly, sitting up on the bed. "I best be going, or else you'd be throwing your heart at me feet."

Pulling the sheets up to her neck, Niamh wordlessly watched him get dressed, feeling the sting of heartbreak in her chest when there had been no love on both ends. Once he had haphazardly thrown on his pants and dress shirt, leaving the vest and suspenders off, Arthur turned one last time, burning the image of his favorite redhead into his mind's eye. Never would he forget the faces she made when he had given her the ecstasy she longed for, knowing he'd not be able to see the same expressions with his soon-to-be-wife.

One last time she watched him nod in goodbye, knowing his head couldn't be turned. The eldest Shelby would have only committed, if - and that was a very big IF - she had been with his child, but Niamh knew how to avoid it as well as he did. Nights in the war could be very cold and lonely so the army had handed out precautions for the soldiers to enjoy their time between the fights. Arthur had told her often enough how his dreams of family and romance had been snuffed out by the brutality of the war, that he would avoid the subject as best as he could, yet here he left her stranded in her cottage by the lake they used to swim in as teenagers, to have a wife and family, probably children along the way.

Arthur climbed inside Tommy's car, taking a deep breath before he screamed out the despair and grief that had been eating away at him ever since he returned from France. Niamh had been a distraction and Linda had given him the hope to get his dreams back, so why did he feel the same sense of loss he had felt when their father had betrayed him and left them again? The noose around his neck was back, tighter than before.

"FUCK!" He hit the steering wheel with such force, that it rattled the whole construction. Arthur needed to let go, he would marry Linda in three weeks and start a new part of his life with her.

“I, Arthur, take thee, Linda, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.”

“I, Linda, take thee, Arthur, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.”

The eldest Shelby brother gently took her hand and slipped the golden band onto her left ring finger, repeating after the priest. “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

Linda smiled up at him, her eyes so full of love and shining with happiness that he couldn't help but get infected by her. Returning her smile, Arthur leaned in and gently laid his lips on hers. His brothers cheered, albeit forcing themselves to be happy for him and his new wife. She had brought faith back into his life and would help him achieve his dreams of family and fortune.

When he looked up, at the end of the aisle Arthur thought he saw a flash of red before it disappeared again.

Had she come to witness his wedding? Maybe trying to stop it all together?

But no, he had told her goodbye, told her she wasn't the one for him because unlike Linda, Niamh hadn't changed his way. Hadn't made him see the light in this darkness again. At least that was, what he was trying to tell himself, because buried deep down in the pit of his heart there was a small fire burning for the redhead, that would never be put out, no matter how much water he'd use to kill the flames.

"Come on brother, let's celebrate your union." John called, pulling both Linda and him into a tight hug before he joined his wife Esme and their children on the way to the Garrison where Tommy had prepared the reception. At first Linda had protested, having wanted a proper banquet but she was soon overruled when Arthur told her it was easier that way. She'd have to learn that arguing with his brother or even Aunt Polly was never a good way to live in the Shalby family, it would be more peaceful to just concede and try to be happy about it.

"Come on now, luv, let's get some refreshments before we consummate our wedding and really make it official, ey." the eldest Shelby grinned at his wife, leaning down to swiftly brush her lips with his own, before he grabbed her waist and pulled her along to the pub.

Niamh had been planning to avoid the ceremony, knowing that only heartache would follow but she needed to be there to hear his vows and see his actions. Only then could she try to forget Arthur Shalby and move on, just like he did. No thought had been spared for her when he had repeated the words, giving his ring to her and promising a new life.

During the wedding she had wanted to stop them so many times, but when the final words of their vows had been spoken, she knew it was too late. He now was a married man and she, just a girl, a woman he used to know before he found Linda and her faith.

Taking a deep breath, the redhead hastily brushed a stray tear away and grabbed her bag, leaving the church as fast as possible, yet one pair of eyes followed her, always watchful for the happenings around them, knowing fully well that she hadn't just been there by mistake and trying to piece together what the real reason had been behind her short visit in the house of the Lord.

#tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby #arthur shelby x oc #arthur shelby imagine #arthur shelby fanfiction #arthur shelby #shelby family #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders

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pennylanefics · 3 years

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Soft Alphabet v.2 - Michael Gray

a/n: this is a second version of the soft alphabet format. i had a different set of words for my alphabet blurb event, and i thought this was a good way to get back to writing stuff :) who do you wanna see next??

warnings: the letter x is a bit steamy

A - Attention (how much attention they give you/when they do/what they do)

it really depends on his mood. most times, mainly during the week, his attention is on work, even when he’s home. on the weekends, though, he is all over you, as much as his ego allows him to, honestly. he tries so hard to get away and work on a couple things, but you always force him to go into town with you to either run errands or shop or to the pictures.

B - Baby (do they want a family/how are they as a father)

michael never imagined having children. before he met you, he got charlotte pregnant, and everyone knows how that ended. so he promised himself to always be safe. but when he met you, literally everything changed. he was so smitten and so in love with you, and his thoughts were constantly consumed with the idea of having kids with you. and these thoughts only intensified when he saw you with john’s kids. surprisingly, he’s an amazing father. he’s so attentive and protective, if something is wrong, he is right there, changing them or entertaining them.

C - Certain (when did they realize they wanted to be with you)

when you stood up to arthur, by yourself. when you were first introduced to his extended family in the early stages of your relationship, arthur wouldn’t stop making comments about you. ranging from you are really a whore in disguise as michael’s girlfriend, to you being ‘ugly’ and not one to fit in with the family. you were growing tired of it, so you shouted at him to shut up, not thinking twice about it. everyone was silent and michael just stared at you in awe. arthur thankfully wasn’t angry, he just smiled and nodded his head at michael. “she’s a keeper.” michael couldn’t agree more.

D - Doubt (what happens when you or him doubt your relationship/being together)

when he starts to become distant well into your relationship, you question if you should even be together. he rarely came home, he never gave you answers when you asked him something, and he focuses more on work and the company. you ran to polly when you had no idea what to do anymore, and she assured you that he gets like this sometimes, and it’s not because of you. she then has a stern talking to him and that’s when he realizes that he’s been hurting you. she doesn’t tell him everything, she leaves you to do that, and in that time, you mention how you’ve been feeling abandoned and wondering if your relationship was worth it.

E - Emergency (how do they react to you being hurt/in danger, vice versa)

when you get hurt, it’s the end of the world for michael. one day, you got in a car accident with ada. she walked away without a scrape, but you were left with multiple bandages and a cast on your arm. when polly told michael the news, she had to hold him back from yelling at ada and the doctors treating you. he wanted to see you, but you were still out from being in surgery. he spent the night in the waiting room, not leaving until he saw you and knew you would be okay. when they finally let him in, he’s holding your hand, crying, saying he loves you over and over again.

F - Family (introducing each other to your families)

he was hesitant about introducing you to his family. i mean, they’re the shelby’s and the peaky blinders after all. it was well into your relationship before you were introduced to tommy, arthur, ada, and finn. on the other hand, you were quick to bring him home to meet your family, about a month into your relationship. he was beyond nervous, knowing everyone in the city knew that he was related to the peaky men. so he was obviously scared of your mother or father judging him. but it went great and they absolutely loved him. your younger siblings even wished he would come back soon.

G - Grief (comforting one another in rough times)

when john gets killed, he’s so distraught. he has nightmares, he sees john and hears him sometimes, it’s rough. he’s never experienced loss like this, and even though he only knew john for a short time, they bonded really well, so it was obviously hard. you were by his side every time he had a bad dream, letting him either talk it out or just hold him while he cried. you knew it was serious in the times that he cried because michael...doesn’t like showing emotion. so you made sure to comfort him and hold him tighter during those times.

H - Hold (holding each other/holding others/holding pets)

the first time michael holds you in his arms, you never want to leave. his touch and his warmth is so inviting and cosy, if you could, you would live in his arms. that’s what you loved about nighttime, when he finally allows himself to relax after work. you’ll light a few candles to set more calming mood and lay with each other. you will read by yourself while michael just closes his eyes, or you’ll put some music on and talk about your day. whatever it is, michael has his arms around you and close to his chest, and it’s the perfect way to end a day.

I - Insomnia (what you/they do when either of you can’t sleep)

when you can’t sleep, either you or michael makes a cup of tea and sits in the living room, on the couch. michael tends to be a heavy sleeper, so it’s usually you who makes the cup for yourself. but, there are nights where work or personal problems keep michael up, and you, being the light sleeper, stay up with him. he tells you every time to go back to sleep, he’ll be fine, but you ignore him and sleepily chat with him until he tires himself out.

J - Jewelry (gifts they give you, fancy or not)

once you are introduced to the shelby’s, they are always pushing michael to get you fancy ass gifts. you were never the type for super fancy jewelry or anything like that. you wore a couple rings every day and a special necklace from your grandmother, but you didn’t like anything flashy. so when michael shows up at your house with a beautiful diamond necklace, you don’t know what to say. he looks a bit lost and nervous giving it to you, so you know right away that either tommy or arthur, or hell, even isaiah, picked it out and gave it to him to give it to you. but nonetheless, you wore it and cherished it because it was “from” him.

K - Kryptonite (their weaknesses)

your touch. whenever you put your hands on michael, in a sexual way or not, he is putty in your hands. this can be you rubbing his back while at an event or party, or your hands running up his chest as you kiss him. the feel of your fingers on his skin makes him lose his mind. so much that he tries to hold your hand when you’re out in public because he can never control himself if you happen to touch anywhere else on his body.

L - Lingerie (their reactions to seeing you in fancy lingerie)

for your first year anniversary, you wanted to do something special for michael. so, you and ada went shopping for some new, lacy lingerie. you spent close to an hour trying to decide on the perfect one, which you ended up getting a baby blue set. after a fancy dinner at your favorite restaurant, you and michael headed back to his place, which he had to himself for a few days. he was getting ready for bed, not expecting anything else, when you step into the bedroom, stripped down to the new set you bought today. his eyes widen and he sits down on the bed, gazing at you up and down. his jaw drops and he moves back a bit. you stand in front of him, teasing his lips with your finger. a smile appears on them as you quietly tell him you got this special get up just for him. and it’s off within minutes.

M - Marriage (what a wedding is like with them/what married life is like)

being apart of the shelby family, they have to throw you and michael a huge wedding. it’s not what you wanted, but you went along with it, knowing they liked the excuse to party. your family wasn’t too fond of the night, some of your cousins having gotten into fights with members of michael’s family. it wasn’t good, but that didn’t matter to you. being married to michael was so much more different than dating. he is so much more attentive and cautious about what he says and how he acts. he knew that before you could have left at any moment and nothing would have mattered, but now that you’re legally together, it would be much more difficult and be a lot more scandalous if you were to get a divorce. and michael doesn’t want that at all.

N - Nervous (were they nervous for any first times in your relationship: first meeting, first kiss, first time)

surprisingly, your first kiss, he is super nervous about. right away, he knows that you’re a really special person, and having kissed only one girl before, when he was young, he didn’t want to do something wrong or gross or uncomfortable. he of course had to get tips from isaiah, who was actually no help, and just made michael more nervous. but when the time came, you took control of the situation after sensing that he had no idea what he was doing, and it was so sweet that he went in for another.

O - Overreact (how often do you/they overreact and how bad does it get)

michael overreacts all the time, unfortunately. early on in your relationship, anytime you asked him something relating to work or his family, which he rarely mentioned, he always got mad. he accused you of wanting him for his money or job or family, wanting to be apart of it when you have no idea what they do. you put him into his place every time, though, and he apologizes as soon as he realizes he fucked up.

P - Past (how does their/your past affect your relationship)

he has a lot of emotional trauma when it comes to his adoptive parents. he never mentioned that he spent 17 years of his life not knowing his real family, and it only ever came up when polly told michael that his adoptive mother died. you sat there dumbfounded, confused as to what she was talking about. michael walked out of the room to collect his thoughts, and polly ended up telling you everything. later that night, when you and michael were settling down, you cautiously asked him about it. he surprisingly told you his side of the story, the entirety of it. you were up well into the night, just listening to him recall what he went through. he breaks down at some point, so you comfort him for the rest of the time, turning the topic of conversation to something different.

Q - Quarrel (fighting with each other)

if he’s stressed out from the business, you tend to fight more. he takes his anger out on you, not in a physical or mental way, but when he gets home from a stressful day, you’ll ask him a simple question like why he’s home so late or what he wanted to do the following day, he blows up. and after knowing michael for a while, you know when he means what he says and when he doesn’t. in those times, he never means it. but in more serious fights, that somehow always have to do with his family, he’s genuinely upset. those fights last much longer and you can go days without saying a word to one another.

R - Romance (how your relationship has progressed over time)

in the beginning, it was quite slow. it took you a few weeks to get used to the idea of being in a relationship, for both of you, so it was pretty awkward at times. but once you started feeling more comfortable and more open with one another, it was great. michael was always telling you he loves you and whispering sweet things in your ear, any place, any time of the day. for your one month anniversary, he got you a big bouquet of flowers and a few small gifts. he kept up with that tradition, so every month, he got you a new set of flowers and a new set of gifts.

S - Sorry (what happens after fights)

you try to make michael apologize when he’s truly in the wrong. you never want to apologize for something that he started. and as soon as he realizes you’re not going to break, he comes running to you and says sorry, and you always ask him if he knows what he’s sorry for. apologies are usually long, since you take that chance to talk your problems out and strengthen your relationship.

T - Tender (how sweet they can be in different moments)

when you’ve been together for a long time, he gets super sweet during nights off of work. when he’s not stressed out and more relaxed. he’ll give you cuddles close to his body, kisses all over your face and down your neck, sometimes even escalating to full body kisses. he always giggles when doing so, making it such a tender moment between the two of you. he can be so loving yet so playful in the same moments, and those are the times you cherish the most.

U - Upset (what you do that upsets them/vice versa and how they react to it)

when you talk down on yourself. michael hates it. he hates that you compare yourself to other women, especially his family like ada and esme. the idea of someone as beautiful as yourself not believing it was beyond him, and he always got sad when he hears you. to help make you feel better, he’ll just hold you in his arms and whisper little things that either you do or about your appearance that he absolutely loves. he never wants you to think less than what you are, so he always takes it into his hands to cheer you up.

V - Violence (what you do when they turn to violence)

unfortunately, being a peaky man, he resorts to violence way too much. you spend lots of your time cleaning him up, when he allows you to. he attempts to hide in his office from you when he’s in decent condition, knowing you’ll make a big deal out of it. if he’s in horrible condition, tommy or arthur, or most times it’s isaiah, will drop your limping boyfriend off, unable to take care of himself. you are silent while you clean the cuts all over him, tending to his bruised eye or cheek, wiping the dried blood away. nights like those usually end with michael apologizing for making you take care of him. you kiss him sweetly and tell him you’ll talk about it in the morning.

W - Wait (how long they wait to make a move or do something)

it surprisingly took michael quite a while to make a move to even talk to you. when he first arrived in small heath and had a night out with his newfound family, he saw you from across the bar. tommy told him to not talk to you, since you were the daughter of a rival group of the peaky blinders. well, your dad and tommy and arthur didn’t like each other. so, every time michael saw you at the pub or out in town, he avoided you like the plague. but one night, he was out with isaiah, and he forced michael to talk to you, getting sick of his ogling and drooling.

X - X-Rated (are they dirty in inappropriate times)

michael is filthy. let’s be real. he will fuck you anytime, anywhere. in his office, in the private room of the garrison, any room of yours or his house, alleyways even. but, the times where he’s the most inappropriate, is in the privacy of your bedroom. there, he can be as dirty as he can, spanking you, choking you, pulling your hair, any kind of things both of you enjoy. plus his words make cry out in pleasure every time he talks.

Y - Year (what you do to celebrate one-year celebrations)

the first birthday of your daughter was extravagant, to say the least. she was a peaky baby, after all. tommy insisted on hosting a party at his manor, with just the family, but still, they went all out. lots of decorations, lots of presents, a big cake, music playing. she was so happy to be around her favorite people and you and michael were filled with love as you watched her interact with these tough gangsters; they all turned soft and sweet when around her. needless to say, she was out before the party even ended, full of cake and worn out from giggles.

Z - Zzz (what it’s like to sleep with them, just sleep)

sleeping with michael varies. some nights, he wants or needs his space so he’ll lay on his side or back, leaving you by yourself for warmth. he radiates tons of heat, so not being in his arms leaves you freezing cold during the winter, especially. but when he does hold you, it’s your favorite. he holds you close and if you’re curled into his chest, he nuzzles his face into your hair. if you’re spooning, he nuzzles his face in your shoulder, often pressing kisses to your skin. right before he falls asleep, he’ll whisper that he loves you and he’s so lucky to have you.

#michael gray #michael gray imagines #michael gray x reader #finn cole #finn cole x reader #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

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jadoue1999 · 3 years

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Wanda and the life she deserved (she’ll make sure about it) Epilogue

Summary: thank you for everyone for reading this story! Remember to read the end notes for the surprise I was talking about!

Previous parts: chapter 1, chapter 2 , chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9, chapter 10, chapter 11, Epilogue

Chapter 12: Epilogue

And that was it. Everyone she cared about was gone. She stood in the foundation of her house; her grief so strong it made her numb. She pulled up the hood of her vest desperately wanting to be left alone. Monica soon joined her side.

“You did it,” she remarked, “you actually did it.”

Wanda didn’t answer, she just pressed her lips together and nodded in agreement. She had seen many movies and shows portraying people fixing their mistakes as a good thing, something that made them feel better. She couldn’t relate. She simply felt like disappearing into the unknown and never being seen again.

“You know, I don’t think I would have had the strength to do it, had it been me,” confessed Monica. “I would have done anything to get my mother back, I can only imagine what you’re going through.” The woman gently put her hand on Wanda’s shoulder, making sure to be slow enough so she wouldn’t intrude her personal space. When no protests came, she squeezed lightly. “I’m here for you if you need me.”

As they reached the town square, Wanda did her best to ignore the hateful glare of the citizens she had tortured over the last week. She wished she could tell them she didn’t know, but she was sure no apologies would be enough. Lost in her self-deprecating thoughts, she was surprised when Monica spoke once again. “So, who was the guy who played your brother? We never could identify him. Yet I can see that his family found him.”

Wanda didn’t answer as she looked up at the X-Men. Her brother was deep in conversation, probably telling them about his time in the town. She quickly changed outfits, feeling more comfortable in her newest costume. The Scarlet Witch, as Agatha called her; she liked the name. She was about to fly away when Peter suddenly appeared at her side.

“Wanda, don’t go.”

She froze in place; he didn’t seem mad at her, but she didn’t want to push her luck. Hatred came in many forms. Since she wasn’t talking, Monica spoke up.

“Hi again, I don’t know if you remember, we escaped the witch’s house together?”

Peter chuckled and nodded. “I do, that was wild.”

Wanda could feel Monica’s question, and the hesitation that came with it. “I know I’ve asked you before, but who are you?”

The silver haired man looked at the redhead, silently asking for permission. She couldn’t figure out why he’d even care about her opinion, but she nodded, nonetheless.

“I’m Peter Maximoff, I’m from a different universe.”

That certainly took the S.W.O.R.D. agent by surprise, she looked at both of them, wondering if it was a joke. She had many more questions, but she felt that the Maximoffs needed to talk. With a nod, she walked away to join an Asian man. Probably a friend of hers. That left Wanda and Peter alone, both wondering how to start the conversation.

“So,” started Peter, scratching the back of his neck. “Thanks for releasing me.”

Wanda scrunched her face in shame, why had she even thought it was a good idea? “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted my brother back and you already wanted to leave, and I just couldn’t-“

“Hey, it’s alright. I mean, obviously it wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t as bad as witchy over there,” he said, pointing at Agnes who was seemingly flirting with police officers. “You wanted me there, so I wasn’t really controlled, I was just sure I was Pietro Maximoff.”

Running a hand through her hair and taking a deep breath to shake away her teary eyes, she finally looked at him in the eyes. “So, you’re not... mad?”

Peter blinked and cleared his throat, “Well, obviously I’m not pleased, but I think I would have done the same thing, had I been given a chance to see Wendy again.”

They walked over to a secluded bench that somehow hadn’t been destroyed by the battle. Wanda kept fidgeting with her fingers, the occasional glares of people mixed with the grief and guilt she felt made an interesting combination of emotions. Peter pulled her into a hug, and she held on for dear life, not wanting to be alone again. “I like the outfit by the way,” whispered Peter in her ear. “Might not believe me but it’s very similar to my dad’s. Irony of the multiverse I guess.”

She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her lips, he soon laughed too, and let go of her. He looked around the town, taking in the situation.

“You know, it might not have been real, but our little life was good,” commented Peter. He looked at his team, “I didn’t have any superhero duty to think about or daddy issues to deal with. It was simple.”

Wanda looked at him, not sure if he was being serious, when she realized he was, she simply nodded. “Yeah, that’s why I wanted this. I’ve never had a shot at a normal life, not since I was 10 years old.”

Peter smirked in agreement, looking a little lost in thought for a moment. “Yeah, I remember, your life wasn’t easy, uh?”

The redhead suddenly widened her eyes, realizing the weight of his statement, “oh, I’m so sorry, I can remove his memories from your head if you want.” She tried to put her hands on his temple, but he shook his head.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ve had enough people messing in my mind for a century. Plus, I’m not really sure where my memories end and his starts.”

Wanda was left feeling even more guilty, how did she even think that it was a good idea to keep him? She looked at the ground once again, why could she never do things right?

“So... where will you go?” Asked Peter. “Cause I know how this usually goes, you leave in a remote place, isolate yourself and either build a new life or you get even worse than what your current low point is.” Wanda looked at him, raising an eyebrow. He chuckled as he raised his hands in front of him, “hey, you might be from another universe, but my dad basically did the same thing.”

She thought about her options, she had considered isolating herself, she had Agatha’s book after all, she wanted to study it. Before Peter stopped her from leaving, she truly wanted to be left alone. Knowing he didn’t hate her changed things. She wanted him by her side, willingly this time. After a minute or two of waiting, he spoke up, scratching his nose anxiously. “You... you could come with us, if you want.”

She turned her head towards him, eyes wide at the proposition. He gently took her hand and got to his feet. “From what I gathered here; you’re sort of a wanted person? No one knows you in my universe. Plus, powers like yours aren’t unheard of, you’d fit right in!”

He didn’t let her respond as he dragged her to his team. Anxiety was building up in her stomach, how would they react? She had, after all, kidnapped one of their members, even if accidentally. After a quick discussion with the bald man, the professor as he called himself, it was settled that she’d leave with them. The two blue people were polite, but obviously still suspicious of her. Peter’s father was, well, pissed to say the least. He didn’t talk to her and barely acknowledged her when she told them she’d create a portal to get them in their universe. She wasn’t sure how she had already mastered universe hopping, but she assumed it had to do with the scarlet witch thing Agatha had mentioned. After saying goodbye to Monica, who seemed glad Wanda had found people like her, they were off. Portal jumping wasn’t a pleasant experience, but it didn’t feel as bad as the first time she experienced her brother’s superspeed. The first thing she noticed upon arrival was the giant mansion, followed by the dozens of children freely expressing their gift.

That nearly made her breakdown right there.

She adjusted quickly, even made friend with a girl possessing similar powers named Jean Grey. It took a while for Mystique and Nightcrawler to fully trust her, but they eventually did. Erik still blamed her, but he had stopped glaring at her every time she came into a room. She had also learned to astral project herself, giving her more time to study the spell book. It had given her insight she never thought existed.

She had grown closer with Peter, who had confessed one day that his birth name truly was Pietro. They had both lost a twin and while they were both aware that it wasn’t the same; dealing with it together had helped them. Also, being the only people who truly knew Vision and the twins, they felt it was only right to grieve them together as well. Both had had their moments where they tried to talk to them, waiting for an answer, only to realize that they were speaking to shadows. It hadn’t really gotten better; Peter missed his nephews and Wanda missed her family.

Sometimes, when the mansion became too much, she preferred to keep herself in her room. In those time, she usually used it to study the Darkhold and it’s secret. That’s what she was doing, in the middle of the night, when voices pierced her concentration.

“Mom!” Screamed Billy. She gasped as she heard her son in her head. It was Tommy’s voice who followed, “mom, help us!”

Her eyes widened in shock. Her children were alive, they were somewhere. She snapped out of her trance, her mind returning to her body that was laying in her bed. She ran out of her room to join Peter who was listening to music on his Walkman. He looked at her, questions in his eyes, she smiled at him.

“Tommy and Billy, I hear them.”

In a blur, he was in front of her, his hands on her shoulders, hope gleaming in his eyes. “Really?”

Wanda nodded, barely able to contain her excitement, “really.”

In less than five seconds, Peter had packed a bag and was holding it at his side. He offered his hand to Wanda, who gladly took it. He grinned, “let’s go get the rugrats.”

***

Notes: so it’s done! I hope you guys liked it!

As for the surprise, both my father and girlfriend wanted to know more about how the X-men got to Westview so I wrote another fic of their point of view! I’m nearly finished writing it, and it should be about 30k words. Each chapter being approximately 3k words. Now, question is, when and how often should I publish it? I had thought about publishing it every Sunday, unless there’s a day where it’s easier for you guys to read.

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lonestarpost · 3 years

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Episode Review - 2100 Degrees

by @lonestarbabe

9-1-1 Lone Star’s second episode of its second season, 2100°, presents viewers an unfathomable disaster. A highly-promoed volcanic incident gives the original 9-1-1 a serious competitor in its bid for the most outlandish emergency scenario to ever be imagined. Funnily enough, the outrageousness allows the show to combine offbeat humor and character development that culminate in utter heartbreak. While the insane 9-1-1 calls may be the flashy attention-grabbers of the show, it is the character dynamics that make the show most compelling and allow the audience to suspend their disbelief and become invested in the lives of the characters. Thus, the episodes that align their attention around the characters’ lives rather than the emergencies are the most endearing. 2100° puts the characters front and center and allows the emergencies to reflect the concerns and insecurities of the characters, and it wonderfully shows the forged togetherness of the 126 and everyone in their periphery.

The episode begins with a pool party that inherently feels more dangerous in a COVID-19 world, even before the party turns into a flesh-melting horror show commences. The pool becomes the first volcanic hot spot viewers see, and the irresponsible partygoers start to live out their worst volcanic nightmares. The next scene cuts to eight hours before the party. The 126 is having a party of their own to celebrate Owen being in remission from his cancer. The event is made comical with a tumor cake that T.K. had gotten made to look like scans of Owen’s tumor. It’s no doubt an ugly cake, inscribed with the words “Tumor Slayer,” but the gesture shows how the 126 has built a family and how they have become even closer since we saw them meet way back in season 1. Cheesy tumor jokes are shared in jubilance, but there’s undeniable darkness that still looms. Owen sets the tone of the episode when he says, “I am both repulsed and moved.”

Hints of what is to come in future episodes are shown through casual moments. Carlos not-so-artfully dodges T.K.’s inquiry about meeting Carlos’ parents, Tommy sits alone and shows the insecurities she has about coming back to the job, and Owen broods rather than enjoying the party. Gwyneth tries to get Owen to not bottle things up (referring likely to their past relationship issues). Things are looking up, but there’s still a sense of unease that follows viewers into the next scene, which features a young family. They’re having a fun day at Paradise Family Fun Center. The dad seems to be in good spirits as he plays mini-golf, but his wife mentions that he is tense. Just like Owen, he is bottling his feelings up. He’s set over the edge when he misses the shot for mini golf, and it’s revealed that the family is “officially broke.” As the husband boils over, his wife is understanding. You can see the tension drop from the husband’s shoulder, but before the moment can get too comfortable, in true Lone Star fashion, the man falls into a steamy pit. This scene furthers the sense of urgency that suggests the 126 shouldn’t get too comfortable— the world is too unpredictable for comfort.

The 126 rescues the man with Marjan diving into action without waiting a beat, and while tending to the family, Tim makes a dangerous promise to a child that “Nobody is going to die today.” The minute the words are out of his mouth, it’s clear he’s said the wrong thing. Tommy scolds him about it, telling him that he wanted to make himself feel better by reassuring the child, but just scenes later, she makes similar promises to her eight-year-old twins. She feels guilty, knowing it’s never good to make promises that she can’t guarantee. She’s self-aware of her actions, and the guilt begins to spike. She is doubting her role as a leader, and she wonders if she can balance her work and family life, which is a reoccurring theme for the new character. Gina Torres excellently shows the conflict the character faces in a way that feels subtle but poignant.

Grace gets one of her few moments in the episode when a young woman named Lily is stuck in a comedically named food truck called Guac and Roll that sells vegan Tex-Mex. She is surrounded by both scorpions and lava. Yikes! Grace thinks quickly, and she’s an expert at keeping a reassuring voice as she goes through options until she finds one that works. Grace sounds so in control that it would be easy to lose track of how smartly she manages emergencies. Grace helps Lily create a dressing concoction to get the scorpions to scramble until Carlos comes and escorts Lily out. Seeing Carlos, however briefly, always makes a scene better, and he and Grace make a pretty great team.

Back at the pool, nice girl, Elise, has badly burned herself by trying to save a jerk, who had mocked Elise for her looks, saying that she is a “Waco four.” A nicer young man, who pines for Elise, is hit by volcanic debris, which draws the attention of Tommy and Nancy. Elise and the young man are taken to safety, but the chaos only increases for the 126. Tim tends to a young man, Spence, and despite Spence’s pleading for reassurance, Tim refuses to promise that Spence will be okay, learning from his past mistakes. Unfortunately, it is at this time his words come back to haunt him. The words “Nobody’s dying today,” feel especially ominous as the volcanic debris strikes Tim and kills him right there and then. The show doesn’t take the time to even try to save him, which makes his death blink and you miss it. The speed of the tragedy shows how quickly life can take a turn for the worse, and it adds to the helpless feelings the 126 collectively has in the following scenes because they were powerless to save Tim, but they still regret that they hadn’t found a way to save him.

The final quarter of the show is fittingly dedicated to the initial grief that the team is feeling. They are despondent, and Nancy especially expresses guilt over leaving Tim. They had no choice but to leave him, and Judd’s words, “There was nothing left to work on, Nancy,” feel like a big, volcanic boulder through the viewers’ hearts. The small gestures between the 126 show the skill of the actors and the closeness of the team. Marjan grounds T.K. with a hand on his shoulder. Judd passes Marjan a pillow after clutching it himself (just as he did when he clutched the pillow in therapy back in episode 2). Judd, incredibly familiar with the pain of losing members of his team, is a voice of reassurance and strength in the ending scenes, and this shows how much he has grown. He tells Tommy that she has added to her family, which reiterates the idea that while they have all lost so much, the 126 is still family. Prompted by Judd’s words, Tommy apologizes to Nancy for her loss, and then changes her words to say, “our loss.” You can feel in this moment, as she comforts Nancy, that Tommy is becoming more integrated into the group whereas before these episodes she only really knew Judd and Grace.

The final moments show how each of the 126 and their family members are coping with the loss. The song Hallelujah makes the scene even more heartbreaking and the startling beauty and horror of the falling ashes sets the tone of the montage. You can feel the grief of each of the characters, but there are moments of intimacy and love between the intense sorrow (and these connections make these final moments all the more painful for the viewers). These moments are some of the best images in the entire show, and they evoke so many feelings without having to overact the grief that the characters are feeling. These moments feel resigned, and the helplessness they all face is tangible. All they can do is search for the parts of their life that give them meaning and reprieve from their feelings of loss.

In these moments, Owen pets Buttercup and talks to Gwyneth about what has happened. He sits outside, after just recovering from lung cancer, and breathes in volcanic ash as he drinks tequila in a way that feels unhealthy. His survivor’s guilt from 9/11 is still strong, showing that loss doesn’t just go away over time. Marjan and Paul are together, and Marjan tearfully boxes with Paul. Mateo goes on a lone run, and you can imagine the dialogue that’s going on in his head— the pained thought that he is always in trouble. The guilt that naturally comes with such thoughts is probably intense. He runs to a church, halting in front of it as the song starts to reach its crescendo. He’s looking for meaning, and it is no coincidence that he is the one character who has no companionship in those moments. Tommy, meanwhile, tends to Buster, Tim’s kitty, who she has brought into her own family. The moment shows immense progress for Tommy, and it only took her one episode to make such large strides.

In one of the most powerful moments of the episode, we see T.K. entering Carlos’ apartment. He climbs up the stairs before falling into Carlos’ waiting arms; this instant is a glimpse of the intimacy that viewers have been wanting to see between the characters. It is a brief but painful moment. Echoing the scene between Carlos and T.K., Judd goes home to Grace, who is waiting in bed; she is still awake and pulls Judd closer. They have each other, and that is a small comfort. Judd’s face is filled with all the memories and sorrow that he has gone through in such a short time. He doesn’t close his eyes. It will be a sleepless night for everyone.

The episode was beautifully paced, and it showed the bond between the team. It emphasized relationships between characters over plots, and the balance between the characters felt more balanced. 9-1-1 Lone Star is making good progress with its characters and learning how to balance the large cast of characters. Nevertheless, the show still has work to do to make sure that the diverse characters are not objectified or ignored. Too often, characters like Grace and Carlos are used merely as puppets in other characters’ stories. For example, while Carlos was expertly played by Rafael Silva in this episode, his appearances were brief, and when he did appear, he furthered other people’s storylines, particularly T.K’s. The future for these often neglected characters looks promising, however, and the show will make great improvements if they learn to incorporate all the core characters better. 2100° shows both the progress that 9-1-1 Lone Star needs to make, but it also

#text #episode review #january 30 2021 #issue 1 #Lone Star Post #911 lone star #contributor: lonestarbabe

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cas-kingdom · 5 years

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Happy Little Pill

A/N: TW for reader (aged 17) having depression. This takes place after John’s death.

Find the OC version of this fic here.

Title: Happy Little Pill

Summary: Tommy finds out you’ve been keeping something from him.

Words: 3954

Life had never been easy for the Shelbys. To be born into the family meant to be born into a life of crime, always keeping watch over each other’s backs and praying every morning that that day would not be your last. You took it in stride. You all did. Arthur, Tommy… Ada, Finn, Michael, Polly. It was never easy, but you’d all learned to follow each other, and though trust didn’t sometimes accompany that, love always did.

John had been a part of that, too, before he’d been shot. You hated the fact that you’d been there. You hated the fact that you’d accompanied Michael to your brother’s house against Tommy’s orders and subsequently watched as the New York Mafia sent bullets firing into your beloved brother’s now lifeless body. It was fortunate, you supposed, that Esme had asked you to mind the children indoors while she went to check on what was going on outside, otherwise the Mafia were sure to have hit you at least once, if not kill you.

It’d been five months since John died, and though you tried your very hardest to feel better, you found it was only getting harder. Where your remaining three brothers and the rest of your family were able to move on and remember John in a way that didn’t consume their whole lives, you were different. The man was on your mind every second of every day, overwhelming your thoughts and preventing you from doing everything you had once enjoyed. You barely ate, the amount of sleep you were getting was increasingly decreasing, your business work was rarely ever up to the same standard as they had once been… his death was causing such grief that it was affecting every little thing you did.

Of course, like any honourary Shelby, you kept your emotions hidden. When Tommy was around you, you put on a smile and attempted to engage in some kind of conversation with him. When Finn wanted you to join him and his friends at the pub, you happily agreed and acted like the Shelby girl you were. When Arthur asked if you needed help with your work, you said yes and let him join you instead of choosing to say no and wallow in grief alone. The only person you – unsurprisingly – weren’t able to rein in your emotions around was Ada, though it’d been like that from the beginning. She claimed it was the sister bond you shared. To be honest, you didn’t care what it was, only that it existed, and she partly knew what was going on in your head.

She’d only recently taken you to a doctor following you finally agreeing after what must have been weeks of nagging. She’d threatened to tell your brothers – namely Tommy – once or twice, and of course you had not wanted him to know at all, so you’d let her arrange something. The two of you had sneaked out of the house one morning under the pretense that you were going for a walk, and Ada had taken you to see a doctor.

He’d diagnosed you with depression.

It’d been inevitable, really. Your sister had suspected it, and even you’d thought about it once or twice, though you’d not heard much about the mental illness before. Nobody really had. Pills were only really becoming a thing, but the doctor had claimed that results so far were good, so Ada had signed the papers and you’d been prescribed them.

“I’m going to tell Tommy.”

“Ada, no.”

“Y/N, I have to. I’m not even your proper legal guardian; he is!”

“I don’t care. If he finds out, he’ll go mad, okay? Please. I’ll tell him eventually, just… not now. Let me wrap my own head around it all first.”

“Fine, but if things get worse, you tell me. And if you don’t tell him soon enough for my liking, I’m doing it myself!”

That had been two months ago, and you weren’t much closer to telling any of your brothers. You often caught Ada giving you a look in the corridor as you passed her, though that was never around the times she’d let you quietly cry in her arms after a particularly bad day. You knew that if it carried on like this, you’d one day end up walking into your room to find Tommy sitting there on your bed, cigarette in his mouth, watching you with those sharp blue eyes, and you’d just know that Ada had told him.

Well, that had never happened…

He’d been in his office, instead.

You’d always been careful with taking your pills. You knew you were. The doctor had prescribed two from the bottle per night, and when you ran out, Ada would go collect more from him. Having a big family meant that you were never really alone, and so you’d resorted to taking the pills before you went to bed in the safety of your room, so nobody saw. Apparently, however, you weren’t always careful. You supposed having bad mentality could do that to you.

“Pol saw you taking some pills.”

When your brother had called you into his office, you had not expected those to be the first words that left his lips as soon as you walked into the room. Today was one of those busier days, and your entire family had been bustling about the place, never stopping to rest. For Tommy to suddenly have time on his hands was something you’d probably ask about if you weren’t so damn shocked by his words.

He was as you’d expect him to be; leaning back in his chair behind his desk, glass of whiskey in front of him, cap laying on top of a stack of paper he’d previously been working on, cigarette between his two fingers. And his eyes were locked on your still form. Intimidating. That was what he was. It was rare for you to be intimidated by your big brother, but this was most definitely one of those times. You’d been caught in a situation you’d been trying to avoid for a very long time, and the fact that it wasn’t the result of you telling him made it worse. He’d found out himself.

You swallowed thickly. “What do you mean?”

Tommy blinked slowly and tilted his head slightly to the side. It was silent for the briefest of moments as he puffed yet again on his cigarette and then stubbed it. He downed the rest of his whiskey and placed it to the side before folding his hands on his lap and heaving a sigh. “Exactly what I said, Y/N. What else would I mean?”

The fact that he hadn’t asked you to sit down yet told you he wasn’t quite treating you like his sister at this point. It was more of a talk between employer and employee, worker and boss… not family at all. Which told you he was angry. And an angry Tommy was never a good sign.

You fidgeted a little. “Polly saw wrong.”

Both of your brother’s eyebrows lifted. “Mm… well, Finn must’ve seen wrong, too.”

Finn! That damn brother of yours– wasn’t there something about the youngest siblings sticking together? “I didn’t take a pill.”

“No, you took two.”

You shut your eyes, desperately trying to control your emotions. This had not been the way it was supposed to go. It wasn’t even have supposed to go anywhere. It would have been better off safely tucked away in both you and Ada’s minds. The fact that your sister apparently hadn’t even ratted you out was even worse; now, three more people knew you were acting suspicious, and it wouldn’t be long before Arthur was reined in as well as Michael and probably everyone else working in the other room. How had they even seen you taking the pills? Had they been hiding in a corner of your room? “Tommy.”

Your brother shook his head, his expression turning steely. “Y/N. I’m being serious. Was it drugs? New kind I’m not aware of?”

“No, no… I’m not- of course it wasn’t drugs.” You sighed, fidgeting yet again under Tommy’s scrutinising gaze. He noticed and leaned forward in his seat.

“Then what the fuck was it?”

Tears were threatening to spill from your eyes, and you knew there’d be nothing to stop them when they eventually decided to fall. It wasn’t like you’d never cried in front of Tommy before, but at a time like this? You weren’t sure how exactly it would play out. Would he even care that you were in tears? Would he pull you in for a hug like he usually did or carry on staring at you with those cool, blue eyes? You weren’t sure, and it pained you beyond measure that you even had to think about it.

Biting your bottom lip and taking a deep, yet discreet, breath, you shook your head and stepped forward. “Look. It’s nothing to worry about, alright? Polly – and Finn – clearly exaggerated.” Your brother said nothing, only widened his eyes in warning. You, however, had averted your eyes completely away from him, so when you moved to quickly brush past his desk and walk out the door, you didn’t notice the hand that rushed out to grab your wrist.

“You’re not going anywhere.” His voice was cold, and you could see his chest rise and fall with each deep breath he took. His mouth was set in an even tighter line as his grip on you tightened and he pulled you closer to him, reaching out with his free hand to turn you to face him. “Seventeen,” he said. “You’re seventeen. I’m still your legal guardian. I’m responsible for you. So, tell me what the goddamn pill was.”

He pointed a finger at you, eyes wide with warning, and the rise in his tone was what immediately set you off. It began with your lip trembling, and then you absentmindedly bit it, then your body began trembling and your throat became dry, and the tears fell from under your closed lids. Sobs racked your entire body as you stood there in front of Tommy, his hand still tight around your wrist. He heaved a sigh, watching you with those ice eyes. When you started crying, there was nothing that could prevent him from dropping his merciless expression, and he clearly proved this when he shook his head and scooted back in his chair, pulling you towards him. You, as expected, didn’t resist, letting yourself be reeled in and practically dragged onto his lap. He leaned back in his seat, wrapped both arms around you, and watched as you lifted your legs up and rested your chin on your knees. This comforting embrace was exactly what you needed – exactly what you’d been missing these past few months that could have soothed everything in a heartbeat.

“What’s wrong with you, eh? Tell big brother,” the man said quietly after a few moments of silently listening to your sobs.

“Everything’s so shit,” you cried, burying your face into Tommy’s chest. He wasn’t sure what to make of that, and he doubted he’d get anywhere by simply thinking about it, so instead chose to move his hand up to place on the side of your face, rubbing his thumb along your cheek.

“Could’ve told you that a long time ago.”

You shook your head, pulling away from your brother and not even noticing as you wobbled a little on his lap – perhaps you were getting a little too big – and he tightened his grip around your waist to stop you from falling off. “No- no,” you said, still sobbing, eyes wet with tears. “Up- up here. Here, in my head. My fucking head that won’t stay quiet for two seconds-”

“Woah, there.” Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed in surprise. He moved his head around a little so he was able to see you. “What’s wrong with your head? Are you sick? Are the pills prescribed?”

There really was no way to keep it hidden anymore. If you lied, he would know. Either way, he wasn’t going to take it easily. Was there even a proper way for you to prepare yourself for it all? No. What was even the point in pretending anymore? With a deep breath, you squeezed your eyes shut yet again and nodded, tears leaking down your red cheeks. “Yes,” you breathed out. “Yes, they’re prescribed.”

Tommy was silent for a moment, seemingly processing what you’d just said to him. “Alright,” he said after a little while. “Prescribed for- prescribed for your head? What’s wrong with your head?”

Everything. That was what you wanted to tell him. Everything and everyone was wrong with your head. What wasn’t wrong with it? “I went to the doctors,” you said with a sniff, feeling your hands as they shook. Tommy cleared his throat and you sighed, not turning to look at him. “Ada took me,” you said. “It was her idea to go. They- I met with this doctor, and he did some tests… and- and he diagnosed me with depression. Depression, Tom. I’m fucking depressed.” The tears began once again, and you fell to the side, crashing back into your brother’s chest.

Tommy didn’t move. “Depression.” It wasn’t a question… more of a statement. One that he was going over and over in his mind as if processing it completely himself to ensure he’d heard it right. Depression. He’d heard of it. Of course he’d heard of it. He’d been in the war. Hell, he was pretty damn sure he’d be diagnosed with it himself if he ever actually got close enough to a doctor to be tested. But, his little sister? How could such a cruel thing touch his little sister? He’d only ever heard of it being associated with men, namely men from the war. They came home, had nightmares about the bombs and the trenches, couldn’t distinguish nineteen-fourteen from nineteen-nineteen, and got diagnosed with depression. A mental illness that negatively affects how a person feels, the way they think and how they act. It was either that or PTSD, like Johnny Whizzbang, and look at what had happened to him… how had he not noticed it before? And, what’s more, he knew the cause of it. John had died. Your brother had died. And though he’d had many a conversation with you about it, you’d obviously learnt how to hide your true emotions from him. He’d call you a little shit, but there were more serious matters on his mind right now.

“How long have you known?” His voice was surprisingly calm; a mixture of confusion and, unsurprisingly, silent anger. Though he hid it, and he hid it well, it was obvious in his tone. It’d always done you well to pick out the smallest details in your brother’s speech - they had a chance at helping you navigate your way through the inevitable conversation that was coming.

It was quiet for a moment, the only sound being the workers outside the room, but the walls were fairly soundproof, so it wasn’t all that noticeable. “About a month and a half,” you told him, “or something like that.”

He nodded, brain seeming to whir for a minute before he flicked his eyes down to where your head was resting against his chest. He could still feel you trembling, sniffing every so often as tears rolled down your cheeks and spilled onto his shirt. The wet patch was ever-growing. “And you said Ada took you to the doctors?”

“Yeah.”

He stiffened. “Why did she not tell me?”

And here it came. The moment Tommy finally felt himself unable to hold back from his feelings, say fuck it, and let them spill. You sighed once again and stared gloomily at the wall opposite you through red, teary eyes. “Because I told her not to.”

“Why would that be? You both know I’m the one who looks after you. She should have told me, regardless of what you said. It should have been me who took you to that doctor. You should have come to me.” You half expected him to push you off his lap and then rampage, but your hazy mind was too clouded to remember that you had just broken the fact that you had depression to him, and he was hardly going to take it lightly. If anything, it would make him even more protective over his baby sister, which was part of the reason why you hadn’t told him in the first place. Of course, he was bound to know people who had the illness, but knowing his sister had it, out of all people, would most definitely cause that protectiveness of his to rise a notch. You’d been worried he’d overreact and try to help in ways that just... wouldn’t. At least Ada hadn’t changed herself much on your account, simply resorting to hugging you a lot more often and always keeping a watchful eye on you. She was still acting like your sister, and that was helping you more than you cared to admit. The doctor had said your diagnosis wasn’t serious... you had a mild case of depression, but it was still depression. It still needed treatment. It still needed to be helped.

“Because I didn’t want to. Not yet. I would have eventually, Tom. And- and Ada did want to. Don’t be mad at her. She was doing it for me.”

“’Eventually’ isn’t soon enough. I needed to have been told right away. Maybe it would have helped.” He ignored the comment about Ada. That woman... he was never quite sure if she knew if what she was doing was the right or wrong thing. Nevertheless, you were the subject, here. He’d discuss all of this with the elder of his sisters soon enough, he was sure, but, now? Now was not the time.

He still wasn’t moving, his voice only hardening the smallest bit. This was most unlike the talks the two of you had when you’d done something wrong. It surprised you immensely when you felt his chest rise with a deep breath and he reached his hand out and turned it palm-up. You swallowed thickly before grabbing hold of it and pulling it close to your racing heart, immediately feeling the comfort you craved seep from his fingers and calm you down. It was something he’d done since you were a baby. If you ever cried, all he’d had do was give you his hand to hold, and you had calmed down immediately. It had never changed. John used to call it magic.

“I was scared…” you said, and he moved his head a little to listen better. “Scared you’d think badly of me for having this… this thing. I didn’t want to be thought of as less of a person. Or- or that I’m weak. Or… well. This scares me. It just… terrifies me. I-” You squeezed your eyes shut, gripping tightly onto the man’s hand.

“Alright, little one.” Tommy pat your arm, kissing the side of your head. “You’re okay. You’re fine. There’s no need to be scared. Nobody could ever think badly of you, sweetheart. You are no less of a person, and, come on, what’s weakness in a Shelby, eh?” A small smile lit up his face and you breathed a laugh, reaching up with your free hand to wipe your eyes. “This isn’t your fault, alright? This- this shit… isn’t your fault. None of it. I can promise you that. I don’t want you to be scared. You’ve got your brothers and your sister here to look after you. Nothing’ll get to you with us here.”

“I thought you’d be angry with me,” you admitted, voice quiet, and Tommy shook his head.

“I’m sorry if I made it seem that way. I’m not angry. You couldn’t have helped it, Y/N. You didn’t ask for this. How could I be angry? I-” He paused, thinking over what he was saying. It was undeniably difficult for him to be so unrestrained with his emotions like this, but he knew it had to be done in order to ensure you were both comforted and confident that there was no reason for you to hide this from him. “I’m upset,” he said after a small while, not missing how you shifted a little on his lap. “I’m upset that you’ve got this… illness. I’m upset that you didn’t tell me… but I’m mostly upset that I didn’t notice this before. I let you get this far. I let it get to the point where you didn’t want to tell me.” He reached up and gently clasped a hand over your mouth as you opened it to speak after lifting your head from his chest and turning it to face him. He felt his hand growing wet with the tears that were still falling from your eyes, and once he could tell you wouldn’t interrupt him, he moved it away. “No,” he continued, “I know it’s not my fault, but I still should have supported you more after John…” He sighed.

“It’s not your fault you didn’t notice,” you told him. “I was keeping it hidden.”

“I know you were. You hid it well. But I’m not certain it was the right decision. I want to arrange an appointment with your doctor. I have... questions for him. I want to know what exactly we’re dealing with here, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

“And we’re going to get you better, sweetheart, okay? We’ll do it slowly, but we’ll do it together. I promise you.” He smiled, blinking quickly, and you would have seen the gathering of tears in the bottom of the Thomas Shelby’s eyes if your vision hadn’t been blurry enough for you not to notice.

“I hope it works.”

“It will.” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “It will. And, if you ever lose your motivation, you think about our John boy, alright? You think about how he would cheer you up and how he wouldn’t want you to be like this.”

“It’s not my fault.”

“I know, little one.” He pulled you towards his chest once again, seeing your tears begin anew. The mention of John was upsetting even for him, though he’d never get the opportunity to admit it. His arms wrapped around you, and his chin rested on your shoulder. “It’s nothing but a side effect of life.”

A side effect of life. You supposed it was. A bad side effect. Like nausea could be a bad side effect for a stomach-ache. Your brother had been shot. Killed. Murdered. You’d been the first to see him dead, besides Michael. Maybe if you hadn’t, things would be better, but the truth was that you had, and that was what needed to be focused on. “Love you, Tom,” you whispered into his shirt.

“And I love you,” your brother said, blinking as his own tears began to fall. You couldn’t see them, and he figured the room would be dark enough for the trails of silver to go unnoticed by your eyes when you finally decided to relinquish your gripping hold around his neck, so he wasn’t worried about letting them fall. He deserved the release. Even he could admit that.

The time ahead would be tough. He knew it. What he’d been told was unexpected and, quite frankly, shit… but what could he do except help you through it? He and his siblings would do all they could to bring back their light.

“My sweet girl,” he muttered inaudibly into your hair, “what I wouldn’t do for you.”

Peaky Masterpost

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angrylizardjacket · 4 years

Text

Run to Paradise {Nikki Sixx} Part 26

26. everything i wanted felt like a nightmare

Summary: Lola learns what happened to her dad because of Doc. She really does not take it well.

Warnings: mentions of death, emotional, psychological, and physical child abuse, heavy drinking and discussions of trauma

ragtag bunch of misfits: @starlalove @toofasttofallinlove @xrosegoldwolfx @obsessivesky @trpwthme @lovehelpmewrite @angelicjoonie23 @marvelismylifffe @lilytalebi @glitterdreamsz @freddiessmallnipples @crazysaladchopshop @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies. @dramatique-moi @missqueeniewrites @calspixie @aryssav @catsoo12 @sweetshutter @silvertonguedserpent @shamelessobsessions @lavenderbones22 @keepcalm-and-beyou @scarecrowmax @nicholeh7 @unknownoblivion @sighsophiia

For the remainder of the tour, Lola's more subdued than Doc thinks he's ever seen her, and he wants, if nothing else, to reward her quiet nature, encourage it. So when they arrive home, when the dust has settled and everyone's unwound from the stress of the tour, Doc starts making calls.

The first is to Lola.

"What did you say your dad's name was again?" Is one of the first things he asks, and Lola freezes, frowning automatically at his direct and blunt tone.

"I didn't. I don't tell you shit about my dad, Doc," Lola tries, but Doc sighs, trying again, gentler this time.

"You may not remember it, but at least twice since I've known you, you've gotten very high and told me how much you miss him," and at least this time she doesn't react with hostility, "Lola," Doc's voice is much more gentle this time, "I'm trying to find him for you, I know you don't care for your mother, but I thought I could at least try and track down your dad."

"That's..." Lola swallows heavily, "that's actually really nice." She admits, and there's that honesty that Doc is trying so hard to encourage in her. "Thank you."

"I manage the band, I try and do what's right by them, and occasionally that means you too," is what he says, but his tone is surprisingly sweet, "now I just need his name, and maybe a bit about where you grew up, the last time you saw him incase your mom put in a missing person's report."

"Sounds like something she'd do," Lola scoffs, before taking a deep breath, deliberating, "uh, Maleko; Maleko Fields. Last time I saw him, like, in person, was sixty-eight, June-ish, I think. Boston." She's surprisingly forthcoming, but Doc can hear her grimace, even over the phone. He doesn't keep her long, let's her go back to whatever dangerous or scandalous activity she has planned with Nikki and Tommy, and he hires someone to look into it.

There is absolutely no way in the world that he is prepared for what he finds out about the former Fields Family of Boston.

Maleko Fields, known to his friends and family as Leo, born and raised in Hawaii, moved to Massachusetts at the age of nineteen to open a business with his childhood best friend, and worked there for fifteen years. When the friend left for college, Leo had bought him out, renamed the shop with his friend's blessing to Leo's and became a staple establishment, favoured within his suburb. Irene was an accountant he'd hired to help with the buisness, though it wasn't long before they started dating, and the two had married when Leo was 23. Two years later, their first and only daughter was born.

Keola 'Katie' Mavis Fields, the apple of her father's eye, and unofficial mascot of 'Leo's' until its closure in 1968, was declared missing in 1977. Her missing person's report comes with a photo of what is unmistakably a teenage Lola.

This is where the information gets darker; every newspaper in the city, and many across the nation, report on the trial of Irene Fields. Assult on a family member which caused serious bodily harm. Testimonies of family and friends who speak to Irene's tenuous grip on reality and her possessive, obsessive control over her daughter, health professionals confirming her delusions and issues with aggression that had manifested due to trauma. Countless pictures of burn marks that were now all too familiar to Doc, and so many photos of a much younger Lola, in crisp button-up shirts done up too tight over bandages. Irene recieves a six month sentence at a mental hospital, and Lola is placed into the care of a group home when none of her family can provide her adequate care.

All because Leo had died when Lola was nine.

Irene had never been able to process his death, instead, when asked to identify his body after he'd been in a terrible car accident, she'd refused to believe it was him. The trauma of seeing Leo so horribly disfigured had broken Irene, and she'd managed to convince herself that he'd simply run away, even after both his sister and father had confirmed it had been him.

Testimonies had revealed that she'd fed Lola this delusion, blaming herself and the child for his disappearance when she couldn't find an adequate reason for his 'departure'. Family was no longer able to visit or interact with Irene or Lola at Irene's insistence;

"She thought we were trying to poison Katie against her," Leo's sister had told the court in tears, "she thought we were hurting her when we tried to help her through her grief, but we wanted to help so she would stop blaming Katie; the things she had said to that girl were- oh God, they'd break Leo's heart if he'd heard them."

When asked to describe some of the things she'd heard, Leo's sister answers;

"Katie had been taking piano lessons for about two years before my brother died, and he was always loved how she played, even if it wasn't great, but I mean, she was seven! But I attended a recital when Katie was fourteen, she'd played so, so beautifully, but I- I heard Irene - God, I'll never forget it - 'why'd we even invite the family if you were going to embarrass yourself lile that', she'd said, 'its a wonder your father didn't come, he'd have thrown stones if he'd acctually accepted my invite'- he, please you have to believe me, my brother just loved music, and Katie, he'd never -!"

Lola, in court at the time, didn't even seem to process the reality of the situation, judging by her firm belief she still held.

Her statement at the time had been simple:

"My mother had tried to keep me from leaving the house; she shoved me, which knocked over a candle, and when my bag caught fire, she held me so tight that I couldn't escape it." But she adds quickly, "but this isn't dad's fault." Of course there was more to it, but Doc was horrified enough that he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue.

Less than three days before Irene's release, Keola 'Katie' Fields is reported missing by the group home she'd been staying at.

When Doc finally reads through all the gathered information, with Lola's entire sordid childhood spread out, everything made a horrifying amount of sense.

Lola's father was dead, and she didn't even know it.

How the Hell was he meant to deal with this information?

He sits on it for a month, for a full month, and tries not to look at Lola with pity in his eyes. Tries.

"How'd you come up with Lola?" He asks one afternoon; the band is in the studio, writing new songs, developing new material, and Lola's behind the sound desk, spinning idly in her chair. She only really wears singlets around the band, still self conscious about her scarring that he now probably knows too much about, and he can't look at her directly, though her gaze has snapped to him.

"What?" Her voice is sharp, before she seems to realise, "oh, you found me - my dad?"

And, yes and no. But he can't say that.

"I'm still looking into it," is what Doc goes with, before he repeats the question, though he's pretty sure he knows the answer. The sound engineer isn't here, and the band can't hear them. Lola still gives them a furvative glance anyways.

"It was a nickname dad gave me, I'm actually Hawaiian on his side, and even though I sort of went by a different nickname back then, that was more because dad was, you know, gone, and mum just called me Katie, and I didn't exactly argue about it." She shrugged.

"Keola." Doc turned the name over slowly, and Lola stopped dead, eyes wide as saucers. "Am I saying it right?" He asks, but gets no response. "It means 'life', so I've heard."

"Whatever," Lola hissed, and was quick to leave the room after that, joining the boys, taking a seat by the piano and idly tapping out a piece, which Doc found to be a curious response.

However its Nikki who Doc talked to about the situation; he knew Lola best, and for the longest, almost 7 years if the missing person's report was to align with the time they ran away to LA together.

Nikki seems surprised that Doc wants to talk to him alone about Lola, but obliges anyways.

"Nikki, if you had found out something terrible had happened to, let's say, a family member of someone you loved, how would you tell them?"

"Depends on the family member," Nikki answered without a shred of hesitation, "this is still about Lola, right? You were looking for info on her dad, weren't you?" And Doc feels like a deer in the headlights, because of course Lola would have told Nikki about it. "Be honest with her."

Doc's pretty sure that's a one-way ticket to being put in hospital; Lola doesn't exactly handle bad news well, and he's not exactly on good terms with her right now.

"Lola, I don't know how to tell you this," is how he starts the conversation. They're in his office less than a day later, and Lola looks antsy.

"Did something bad happen to my dad?" She asks, and fuck, fuck, fuck, of course Nikki told Lola about the previous day's conversation. The manila envelope on Doc's desk is practically at bursting"and he fans his fingers out over the cool cardboard, nervous and pitying energy coiled in his chest.

"I don't know how to tell you this," Doc feels like he's stuck on a loop. How in thr fuck do you tell someone that all they know is a lie?

"Just tell me," Lola tries to put on a brave face, but all Doc can see is the sixteen year old in a court room photo.

"Your father... passed."

Silence. Lola swallows thickly.

"Oh." Again, silence fills the room. Lola's looking at the folder. It has her father's name printed on it. "When? How?" She's so quiet.

"Car accident." There's an unmistakable tremour in Doc's voice. "Fifteen years ago."

And he watches the wheels tick over in Lola's mind, the dawning realisation, the dawning horror.

"You're an asshole and a dumbass for thinking I'll believe that." But her lip is trembling, "how fucking dare you lie to my fucking face about my father? Did he find out I'm a slut and a junkie and decide he wants nothing to do with me? Pay you to lie to me?" She stands so abruptly that her chair goes crashing to the ground. "God I can't believe my fucking mother was right." She hisses, and that hurts Doc to hear her say, knowing what he knows. "Give me that fucking folder."

"I'm not lying." Doc tells her, calm, which earn him a punch in the face. He topples back on his own chair, and Lola snatches up the folder.

"He's here, isn't he?" She waves the folder at him, filled to the brim with news clippings, fliers for Leo's, funeral and wedding programs, and the full, printed transcript of Irene's court hearings.

"Yes," Doc wheezes, and satisfied with that answer, Lola storms out, folder in hand.

Lola arrives back at the home she shares with Nikki, crackling with anger and electricity. Later, Nikki comes back from drinks with Tommy, and finds Lola in the study, surrounded by proof of her worst fear.

"Lo?" Nikki's voice is low, is actually concerned; Lola, from what he can see, is shaking. When she turns, she looks genuinely ill, ashy with puffy eyes and red nose. She's holding a folded piece of paper.

"I'm seeing things; I need you to read this and tell me if I'm crazy," she offers the paper to Nikki, who steps inside, "I'm just crazy, right? This doesn't say nineteen sixty-eight."

Its a funeral program for Maleko 'Leo' Fields, born in 1934, died -

"Nineteen sixty-eight." Nikki read, the reality of the situation suddenly hitting him.

"No." Lola muttered, and snatched back the paper. "No, we're both crazy." And its heartbreaking to hear that be the option she favours.

"Lo-"

"Because if he died," she sniffles loudly, trying to hide the way her voice is shaking, "when I was nine, that means-" and there's a faint patter as Nikki hears her tears hit the paper, "that means everything... everything..."

"Lola..."

She's trying so desperately to come to terms with her own reality, but its tearing her apart.

"It was never my fault."

And its like she can't even believe it, sobbing now, voice so soft but rising quickly. The paper is crumpled in her fist as she gets to her feet, voice turning to a yell, a scream, as she cries and throws herself around the room.

"It was never my fault! It was never my fault! It was never my fault!" Picking up pieces of paper, she hollers. Angry and distraught in equal measure, she shoves the select pieces into Nikki's confused, worried arms, looking at him through bitter, blood shot eyes.

"It means it was never my fault."

And with that she shoves past him, leaving him shocked, and by the time he hears her angry scream from the kitchen, he's started to look at what he'd actually been holding.

The transcript of testimonies from family members who knew about what was happening Lola, but who had, to Lola's knowledge, never tried to help. Photos of Lola's burn scars while they were still fresh. The statement of the coroner who'd asked Irene to identify Leo's body, noting her refusal to acknowledge the truth of the matter.

Downstairs, there's the smash of a bottle.

And Nikki's reading the rest of the scattered documents. All of Lola's history.

Every few minutes, there's another smash.

By the time he's done, he finds Lola in the living room, feet covered in cuts from shattered glass, almost catatonic with coke dusted around her nose.

"Lo!"

"I can be - fuck -" she slurred heavily, "whoever th' fuck I wanna be' 'cos da's not gonna be 'round to give a shit," she snapped, "he never was." It had only been fourty-five minutes since Nikki had been home, and judging by both her state, and the kitchen, she'd drunk almost two bottles of JD, and he wasn't even going to begin to guess at how much coke she'd had, only that had been a lot. Never in all the years he'd known her had Nikki seen Lola this fucked up this quickly. Oh, he knew Lola could handle this much liquor, but never in this short amount of time.

Sitting bolt upright, she looks around wildly, as if searching for answers Nikki can't even fathom, before she can even say anything, she's crashing back down, heaving and writhing. Nikki's quick to turn her on her side, so she doesn't choke when she throws up, and her voice is raw between bouts of illness that Nikki can't quite catch what she's saying. He gets her a glass of water and calls 911.

"I need - I need - I need -" she keeps stumbling over her words,voice raspy and hands shaking.

"You're going to hospital," Nikki told her, and Lola gave him a weak shove, expression contorted with anger.

"Fuck you," she growls, "'need go Boston -"

"You need to go to hospital, you look like shit -"

"No! I need to go Boston! I'm gonna kill Irene!"

Lola's unresponsive by the time the ambulance arrives, having not even moved from the sofa despite her best efforts. Nikki's got his head in his hands in the waiting room, feeling nothing but nauseous as they pump her stomach and put her under anesthetic to remove the glass from her feet. When she wakes, she's crying and screaming, but he's by her side.

"I just want... I just want..." And she can't even say it, weak and sore,and Nikki thinks he should call the band, call Doc, call someone else, but he cant leave her side. "All I wanted was him to come back, tell me it wasn't my fault, and it would be okay; everything that had happened, it wouldn't have been right, but it would have been okay."

Nikki takes her hand.

"Nikki, just tell me I'm dreaming, please, tell me if I work hard enough he'll come back." Lola's all but begging, and Nikki's prettt sure he's nevet felt moved like this for anothet person before; it fucking hurts. He hates seeing her like this.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, Lo, you don't deserve-"

"I don't deserve half the shit I've been through!" Lola cries, before crumbling, curling in on herself as best she could with all the medical equipment attached to her. "If you're not gonna lie, then at least make me believe its not my fucking fault. I didn't drive him away. It was never my fault."

Nikki pets her hair gently, his hands trembling.

"Lola, it was never your fault."

#nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx #the dirt imagine #the dirt #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue imagine #motley crue #the angry lizard writes

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ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes · 4 years

Text

Burned Part 15

Summary: Alfie Solomons is in need of a secretary. Tommy Shelby mentions a young woman in need of employment. From there the two step into a dangerous dance together.

Part 15: Serious discussions are had.

Alfie had some experience with caring for children. He helped his mother as best he could with his younger brother. But he was a bad influence on Adam and it showed early on. His mother urged her youngest to pursue a more respectable life so she didn't have two sons stuck in a cycle of crime. Perle encouraged Adam to focus on education and was extremely proud when he joined the military. Alfie didn’t do anything to pressure his brother into the life he led. If anything, he agreed with his mother and steered Adam away from a life of crime. The last thing he wanted was to have his baby brother’s blood on his hands. His mother would never forgive him.

Adam Solomons was a family man. He loved his wife and son. He also loved his country and proudly marched off to war. His body was never recovered from Gallipoli. Alfie promised to look after Rose but she was distrustful of the gangster who was making his way through the ranks of the underworld. When he returned from the war, he had no family left aside from his nephew and sister-in-law. Rose, overwhelmed with grief and her reckless seventeen-year-old, took off. Goliath was dropped off on Alfie without any notice.

He didn’t raise the boy though and couldn't teach him anything of much use. He was already too set in his ways.

Alfie had been around Ollie’s children before. They all pounced on him the second he walked through the door screeching about lord knows what. They called him Uncle Fie and the oldest boy said he wanted to be a boxer, always trying to get Alfie to fight him. Aside from a tousle of the hair and the occasional piggyback ride, he was uneasy around them. Children were so fragile and vulnerable. He was accustomed to men who could survive a severe beating and get right back to it. Ollie’s wife would smack him if Alfie so much as uttered one swear around the kids. But Alfie saw the pride on his assistant’s face when his children were around. Ollie lived for them and he spoke so fondly about them. It made him wonder what it was like to be a father, lighting up at every mention of his pride and joy. To boast about their achievements and how they made him smile. To see Louise pregnant and thrilled to be a mother. It was tempting.

Inglewood needed work before they could have any function, especially their wedding. But Louise was thrilled to take on the project. She talked endlessly about the memories she had in each room. How she bruised her knee sliding down the banister, the first pony her father bought her, the stories her mother would tell her at night, and the chocolate cake made for her birthday each year. She wanted to bring those memories back to life as best she could by reviving Inglewood. Improvements and cleaning were left to staff that Alfie hired after a strict vetting process. But Louise wanted to be involved because she felt protective over her home.

Alfie had never seen her so interested in anything. She paid attention to the restoration process and even began gardening once the overgrown yard was cleared. He could fondly remember one of the early days they were there. Louise had gone out into the warm sunshine, clad in pants and one of his old shirts. She wasn’t afraid to get dirty in the soil and eagerly showed Alfie what she’d planted by the end of the day.

She was happy and that made him as happy as could be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One week, Alfie returned back to Inglewood from Camden Town. Louise had stayed, working from the office that had just been redone and furnished along with a portrait of her father proudly hanging by his original desk.

Alfie stepped out of the car and noticed a few kids bicycling down the driveway. There were three of them, a boy around fourteen, a girl about nine, and another boy that couldn’t be more than seven. They were dressed well, albeit most likely their play clothes, and he could guess they were from around the area.

When they saw Alfie, they screeched to a halt.

“Sorry, sir.” The oldest apologized. “This home’s usually empty so we ride up the drive and back.” He explained. The boy was the complete opposite of how Alfie was at the same age. Clean-cut, well mannered, and cautious.

“S’alright.” Alfie didn’t see the harm with the kids riding their bikes up the way.

“Are you moving in here?” The girl asked. Her blonde hair in a short bob with a silver clip parting her bangs to the side. “We live down that way.” She pointed past the front lawn of Inglewood where a foot-high stonewall divided the land.

“Erm, yes, just doing a few renovations.” He nodded and felt out of his comfort zone. He had enough sense not to act the part of the big scary gangster boss in front of children. So that just left him as plain old Alfie.

As if hearing his silent pleas for help, Louise stepped outside. “Alfie?” She had heard the car pull up and expected him to rush inside to embrace her. “Oh, hello.” She smiled when she saw the children.

“Do you have any kids our age?” The youngest boy asked hopefully. “I’m seven ‘n a half.” He beamed proudly.

“I’m afraid we don’t have any children, darling. We’ve only just got married.” It was a lie simply to throw a veil over the situation. Despite the distance between neighbors, word traveled fast in upscale country settings. None of the fashionable ladies of the manors would want to hear that Louise and Alfie weren’t married but still living together. It was the 1920’s but some people were still stuck in the past.

The little boy pouted. “That’s okay.” Even though he was disappointed, he managed to keep the politeness instilled in them by their nanny.

The eldest leaned forward, resting his forearms on the handlebars of his bike. “Mum will want to have you ‘round for tea.” He told Louise.

“That would be lovely. Alfie and I will come and visit once we’re all settled.”

Alfie furrowed his brow. Afternoon tea in Surrey was not on his to-do list. He cleared his throat and nodded. Whatever Louise wanted and whatever would make her happiest. “Yeah, we’ll pop on by soon. And don’t worry ‘bout us, you can ride your bikes wherever. We don’t mind, yeah?” He looked to Louise who was smiling.

“Of course not.” She agreed.

“Thank you!” The littlest shouted a bit louder than necessary and rode off. His sister followed, the wheels kicking up bits of gravel as they went.

The other boy lingered, glancing at Alfie for a moment. “Well, thank you. Have a good day.” He nodded and went to catch up to his siblings.

“So sweet,” Louise said softly and linked arms with Alfie to walk inside.

“Yeah, proper posh kids, aren’t they? You like that when you were that age?” He wondered.

“Well…I suppose.” She shrugged and led him into the office. “Wasn’t much else to do around here besides spending time outside and with friends.”

He sat down on one of the couches near the unlit fireplace. Louise happily sat beside him, tucking her feet under her. “Were a lot of things to do in Camden growing up.” He chuckled. “Bad things, yeah, but things all the same. Was probably robbing people at his age.”

Louise wrapped an arm around his shoulders and snuggled close to his side. “I think we might have gotten along. I got bored easily here.”

“And you would be the beautiful posh girl that I would do anything to win over.” He nearly laughed at how sappy he was being.

She watched the lines around his eyes wrinkle in happiness. Her fingers grazed over the nape of his neck, dancing along the edge of his hairline. “You wouldn’t have to try very hard.”

He chuckled and stretched his legs out in front of him. “Well, m’fraid I won’t be a very good socialite.” It meant to come off as humorous but he couldn’t ignore the passing look the neighbor’s son had given him. Alfie knew he didn’t fit into that society and part of him was perfectly okay with that. But the other part was guilty about not giving Louise everything she wanted.

“Alfie.” She sighed and turned his cheek so he was looking at her. “I don’t want you to change just because we have this home now. Where we are or who we’re around doesn’t matter. I just want you to always be my Alfie. And I never wanted to be a socialite and I sure as hell don’t want to be one now.” She wrinkled her nose in distaste. “All I want is to have a life with you.”

“Lou…” He rested a hand over hers. His blue eyes shining with adoration and a bit of relief. “I don’t want you to ever change either.” He agreed softly.

She smiled and touched her forehead to his. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He closed his eyes for a moment and let his thumb graze over the sapphire embedded in her ring. “D’you want kids?” He asked before he really thought about what conversation he was possibly opening up.

Louise drew back in surprise. “I-well I suppose we haven’t talked about it.” She agreed without outright answering him. She wasn’t in the mood to strike up a heated debate over the issue. Especially when they weren’t even married yet.

“I think we should.”

The admission came out fast and for a moment, Louise thought she hadn’t heard him right. “Well, I…yes I agree.”

They let the words sit in the air between them. They were thrilled that they were on the same page but both very worried in their unique way. The decision seemed much larger than anything else in their lives.

“I just know you’d be a good mum, s’all.” He shrugged sheepishly and looked down at her hand still resting in his. “Like to have kids of me own.”

“I think you’d be a wonderful father, Alfie.” Louise murmured truthfully. “You might not think so but I know how much love you’re capable of having.”

“I could protect you both.” He vowed. “Would fucking never let anything harm you. I’ve made mistakes that put you in danger but I-”

She pressed a finger to his lips. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I know you could take care of us, I trust you. You’ve earned my trust and I know we’ll be able to keep that as we create a life together.” Her voice was breathless with excitement. It was surreal to imagine Inglewood full of life again. Not the hollow, stone building that had been drained of the love it once held. But a child, maybe even more than one, running around the home and playing in the yard. A little boy or girl with Alfie’s beautiful blue eyes. She could easily picture the smile on her fiancée’s face as he picked up a little child that so closely resembled him.

It nearly brought tears to Louise’s eyes. “I can’t wait for forever with you.” She whispered and took his face in her hands to kiss him.

Alfie wrapped his arms around her, letting her take his breath away like she had done many times before.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Alfie stayed the night in Inglewood. Louise fell right to sleep but he was restless. The silence of the countryside was bothering him and his own thoughts were much too loud.

So, he decided to take a lap around the home just to clear his head. He cursed the draft in the large halls and crossed his arms over his chest. The stairs creaked under him as he made his way downstairs. He passed through the foyer and wove through the parlor, the dining room, the front hall, and to the office.

The large portrait of Mr. Barnes startled Alfie for a moment as he passed by the doors. He paused and decided to go in.

Henry Barnes was a younger man when the portrait was painted. He had only just met his wife-to-be, but he was still the son of a wealthy aristocrat. He stood tall and proud like in the foyer portrait with his wife, Lily. His gentle eyes appeared to be looking down right at Alfie.

The gangster faced the painting and took a deep breath. He felt like a Christian going into confession. “I know that…” He sighed as he realized he was talking out loud to a piece of canvas. Nevertheless, he continued on. “Maybe m’not the best for her. Could be better men out there, right, that she could be with. All I know is I would do anything to keep her safe and happy. Would fucking die for her in a heartbeat if I had to.”

Henry didn’t move. The placid expression on his face remained just like it had for decades.

Alfie ran a hand through his hair and nodded absent-mindedly. “Never loved anyone like I love her.” He mumbled. “Fucking hurts me chest when I think ‘bout it sometimes. Yeah, dunno if I’m enough. Or if I’ll ever be.” He swallowed hard and took a few steps back. “Fucking talking to myself.” It was enough to get the words out of his head though, and he felt a bit lighter as he left the office. No matter what insecurities he might have, he knew for damn sure he was going to marry the love of his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While London was swarming with whispers of Alfie’s marriage, Camden Town had its own take on the matter. Simply put, Alfie was Jewish through and through. He was raised that way and despite his criminal activity, he would stay that way. Louise was not Jewish. Baptized in the Church of England, she had lost most faith in God. As far as Jewish law was concerned, they would not be allowed to wed.

Ever since he hit puberty, Perle would say Alfie needed to find a nice Jewish woman to marry. He never did, most fathers didn’t want their respectable daughters around the hellish Solomons boy. That didn’t bother him because he wasn’t interested in settling down. As a young man, he was more interested in laying out his empire.

Now that he had, Alfie only had eyes for one woman. Jewish law wouldn’t’ stop him. He tended to disregard all laws except his own.

Ollie and Alfie were inspecting areas of the bakery, making sure everything was running smoothly.

“Ollie, mate, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, sir.” The curly-haired man nodded. He looked up from his checklist.

“You said you and Shayna went to temple in Hampstead? What’s the rabbi’s name?”

Despite years working for him, Ollie was never able to guess what his boss was about to say. But they normally didn’t talk about religion. Alfie celebrated holidays typically with friends of his late mother or Ollie’s family. Camden embraced him because he gave to the Jewish community. Men tipped their hats and greeted him politely. Grandmothers often scolded him, saying he looked thin and promised to bring him heaps of food.

But they all knew what he did and how it conflicted with their shared beliefs. A busy man, Alfie attended temple when he had the chance. He sat in the back, a silent and domineering figure.

“Rabbi Mayer?”

“Right, you know him well?” Alfie continued to be cryptic.

“I suppose.” Ollie shrugged. “He married Shayna and me.” He reminded his boss who had been present.

“Thought so.” He scratched at his beard. “You think he’d be willing to overlook a few things?”

Well, Ollie had been asked stranger things before. “Like what?”

“Small bits ‘n bobs. Louise’s religion mostly.” He answered casually.

Rose had told her husband about what the other Camden women were gossiping about. How was Alfie, a Jewish gangster going to marry someone of a different faith? Certainly, no rabbi would conduct the ceremony. So would he neglect Jewish tradition? That was simply unheard of.

“And what if they have children?” Shayna had asked, throwing her hands up in disbelief. “It’s in his family. His brother did the same thing! He had some legal ceremony and never taught his son properly. Look at Goliath now.”

Ollie could understand his wife’s opinion. The community struggled to keep their traditions and identity. But he also knew Alfie would do as he wished. Hence, why he was asking for a rabbi who would break the rules.

“Sir, I’m not sure-”

“Look, I fucking know.” Alfie cut him off. “Not s’posed to do this but I ain’t going back on what I said. I��m marrying her.” His tone was firm and unyielding.

“Sir, even if he does marry you, everyone will know.” His assistant pointed out.

He grimaced. “Fucking gossips.” He grumbled under his breath. “Fuck it. You go to the rabbi, yeah, and let him name his price. If not, I’ll do it me own way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louise was back in Camden that same night. She was getting dressed for bed when Alfie arrived home. He entered the room with a smile.

“Love that color on you.” He admired the indigo nightgown she was wearing. It was one of many that Alfie had shipped in from Paris.

Louise smiled. “You say that no matter what I’m wearing.” She sat at the vanity to carefully undo the pins from her hair.

“Well, then.” He chuckled and stood behind her to rest his hands on her shoulders. “Maybe that’s ‘cause you’re beautiful in everything.” He murmured. “Also beautiful with nothing on too.” He touched his lips to her neck.

Louise rested a hand over his. She nuzzled his cheek lovingly. “How was your day?”

“Fine, nothing to write home ‘bout.” Alfie shrugged. He drew away and sat on the bed to remove his boots. Cyril curled up by his feet begging for a pat. He obliged, scratching behind the bullmastiff’s ears.

“Evelyn was talking to me about the wedding.” She informed him.

“Yeah?”

“Telling me about Jewish traditions.” Louise turned on the vanity seat to face him. “We can’t be married by a rabbi, can we?” Guilt hinted at her features.

“Well…” Alfie rubbed the back of his neck. “Not too sure yet.” He admitted.

She played with her engagement ring, circling the band around her finger. “Maybe I could convert, that way we won’t be breaking tradition. I don’t want people looking at you badly because you’re marrying me.”

Alfie frowned. “Lou, we just discussed this. I ain’t gonna make you change who you are for me.” He held his arms out for her.

She gladly curled up on his lap. His arms cradling her close and keeping her safe. She rested her cheek on his shoulder.

“I’m marrying you whether anyone likes it or not, yeah?” He kissed her hair. “Our wedding, our relationships, s’none of anyone else’s fucking business. If you want Jewish traditions then we’ll do them. Don’t fucking care if a rabbi’s there or not. Only care that you are.”

Louise frowned and chewed on her lower lip. “But your family…” Alfie came from hardship. Most of his family had been killed because of their religion. Perle had fought against all odds to deliver her sons to safety and provide for them. She raised them in a Jewish community to keep the culture alive even if they weren’t in their homeland.

“Lou, me mum only wanted me to be happy.” He assured her softly. “She probably would give me hell for it but at the end of the day, yeah, you make me smile. Not a lot of people can do that.”

She gently touched the corner of his mouth. “I want you to be happy.” Her eyes locked on his. “Whatever makes you happiest.”

Alfie could appreciate where he’d come from. He couldn’t neglect his past and what it took for him to get to the place he was. But of all the ways he had sinned, he decided that marrying Louise would be the least damning. “You make me the happiest.” He murmured and traced his thumb over her cheek. Her skin was warm, a faint blush forming under his touch. He briefly thought back to his monologue in front of her father’s portrait. “D’you ever get that feeling when your chest, right, when you love someone? S’like…” He scrunched up his nose in thought.

“It’s some sort of ache?” She suggested because she knew exactly what he was talking about. Her hand pressed to his chest, right above his heart. “It hurts because you had no idea you had the capacity to love someone so much.”

He nodded and let out a small laugh of fright. “Fucking afraid m’gonna wake up tomorrow and you’ll just be a dream.”

“One day you’re going to wake up in Inglewood, next to your wife.” She lovingly rubbed circles over his shoulders and the back of his neck where he held all his stress. His tense muscles started to relax after a bit of coaxing. “Your son or daughter will run into the room to wake you up and beg for you to come and play with them.”

He closed his eyes for a moment to picture the scene she was painting for him. “Sounds too good to be true.”

“It isn’t. Because you deserve peace and happiness, Alfie Solomons.”

He opened his eyes to find her looking earnestly at him. He tilted his head to the side and grumbled in protest. But he couldn’t argue with her. She held firm to her beliefs. “And that’s why no one can say anything ‘bout us getting married. ‘Cause you’re fucking perfect, ain’t ya? I’m going to marry you and our wedding, yeah, we’re doing it our way.”

She cuddled close to him. “Don’t tempt me with a good time, Captain Solomons.” She teased softly and tucked into the crook of his neck.

He chuckled and rested back into the pillows. “Go to sleep, love, we’ve got lots to do tomorrow.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evelyn was thrilled. Life seemed to be going so well for her and everyone she loved. Alfie and Louise were getting married, it was about time, and they had given her a hefty raise to come work at Inglewood every other week. She adored being in the countryside but she could still go back to Camden to see Ishmael. The young man's face always lit up when she came back. He'd tell her how much he missed her and asked when they could see each other again. Things just seemed to be going so well. She was completely oblivious to the threat that Alfie and Louise were well aware of.

That weekend, Evelyn was accompanying Louise to try on her wedding dress one last time and make sure everything fit. They were only going down the street, but Alfie insisted Ishmael and another young man go with them along with Cyril.

“We’re not going downtown, we’re going to Nessa’s.” Louise told her fiancee, as he was busy sorting through shipment papers.

“I know, I put a call into her this morning.” He didn’t look up from his work, his blue eyes peering from behind his glasses at Ollie’s slanted handwriting.

“So I don’t need Ishmael and Nathan to come with us.” She said and knelt down to clip the leather lead to Cyril’s collar. Of course, she wouldn’t argue against taking him along. The mastiff’s tail wagged wildly, thumping against Alfie’s desk.

“I’ll just be a block away, Evelyn and I don’t need to be escorted.” She argued and stood up.

Alfie paused and dropped his papers to the side and opened the top left drawer. He pulled out a telegram and handed it to her without a word.

Uneasy, Louise took the paper from his hand and unfolded it.

Dear Mr. Solomons,

I hope to hear from you. I will be arriving in London soon. Mr. Shelby and his family have been notified.

Luca Changretta

She swallowed and absent-mindedly folded the telegram back to its original form. Her hands trembled. “What does he mean by notified?”

Alfie’s jaw was tight from the worry he was attempting to conceal. He reached for his empty revolver and spun the barrel a few times to keep his hands occupied. At that point, he wanted to get rid of Luca himself just so the man didn’t interfere with his life. The gangster would be damned if that Italian did anything to disrupt his wedding plans. “I contacted Tommy, they’ve all received black hands in the mail.”

“I’m not sure I know what that means.” Of course, she could guess it was nothing friendly. Cyril sensed her anxiety and pressed against her leg and nosed at her hand. She stroked his ears a few times to try and calm herself.

“Death threat. Changretta’s marked them as dead, all of them.” He rubbed his eyes and placed his gun down. “Lou, m’not sure what he’ll do to get me involved.” He admitted wearily. The telegram had only arrived that morning but it had already drained him of his energy. “The Shelbys are fucking scattered ‘bout and aren’t speaking to each other like fucking children.” He sighed. “I need to play me cards right.”

Louise wasn’t sure she liked where his line of thinking was going. “You better not be thinking about helping him.” She whispered.

He put a hand over his mouth and averted his eyes. A clear sign of deception. “Didn’t say that, did I?” He muttered.

“You were thinking it.” She accused. “Alfie, just try and stay out of it. You don’t have to team up with the Shelbys but you can’t help to kill them!” Her hand was wrapped tightly around Cyril’s lead as she tried to steer clear of an argument with him. She couldn’t risk getting into a fight a week away from their wedding.

“Lou, I told you it weren’t that simple.” He stood up and walked around his desk to stand in front of her. He slipped the paper out of her hand. “Yeah?”

Louise pressed her tongue to her cheek and exhaled steadily. “What are you planning to do?” It was the same question she asked months earlier when Luca sent the first telegram. But things had advanced even though Alfie had been static.

“Wait.” He replied. “My focus is on our wedding. Changretta ain’t here yet so there’s no need to fret. The Shelbys will get their act together once they realize what they’re fucking up against. Whatever comes our way, yeah, we’ll handle it.” He lifted her chin gently.

“I’m worried that your judgment may be clouded if Luca threatens us.” She admitted.

A stormy look dashed across his eyes. “Sabini would be wise to inform them of the consequences.” His voice was low with anger. Even the thought of Luca going after Louise made his blood boil.

She sighed and touched his cheek to distract him from his obvious displeasure. “I may be naïve to a situation like this. But I urge you to talk to me about it so you don’t make any unnecessary sacrifices.”

Alfie had a feeling that she didn’t know how much he’d be willing to sacrifice if he was forced between a rock and a hard place. “There’s a Yiddish saying, right, ‘for a little love, you pay all your life’. I can leave this be.” He gestured to the telegram still in his hand. “You’ll go back to Inglewood tonight and get ready for the wedding.”

Indeed they had spoken about traditions and which ones Alfie wished to respect. When Louise got word of her fiancee trying to bribe Rabbi Mayer, she had to step in and stop him from extorting a man of God. After the weekend, Louise would leave Alfie behind in Camden Town and they would be apart for a week for Kabbalat Panim. Now that she knew about Luca’s message, she was hesitant to leave just in case Alfie decided to make a move without telling her.

“And what will you do?” She inquired.

“Nothing.” He tossed the telegram onto his desk. “Just keep listening for news and stay neutral. Focus is on you, love.” He promised softly. “We’ll get married and be off to Paris ‘fore you know it.”

“What about the Shelbys?”

“Not much I can do, can I? Fucking got themselves in this mess.” He shrugged. “Tommy clearly has a plan, don’t he?”

She nodded slowly. There was a knock on the door and Evelyn’s voice piped up from the other side. “Louise, are you almost ready?”

“I’ll see you tonight ‘fore you leave.” Alfie kissed her forehead. “Try not to worry too much ‘bout all this. Nothing will happen until I decide what to do.” Of course, he couldn’t promise that. He had no control over what Luca did once he crossed the Pond. He could show up at the bakery door the same day he arrived with a proposition for Alfie. And he sure as hell didn’t have any clue what Tommy was planning. To say Alfie wasn’t worried about his wedding day being ruined would be a lie. He was desperate to make Louise happy and if his dealings interfered with that, he would be upset with the perpetrators, of course, but he’d also be upset with himself. She deserved a quiet life in Surrey with her husband. But with the danger looming, Alfie could only hope that they would have an interrupted wedding. After that, he could handle the chaos. He could take care of what he needed to and take care of whoever was in his way. Whether it was Luca Changretta or Tommy Shelby.

Permanent Tag: @sansajonsastark @giftofdreams

Tag list: @vehement-care @kimmietea @eleventhdoctorsangel @fire-treasure-iii

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#alfie solomons #alfie solomonsxoc #alfie solomons x oc #alfie solomons imagine #ofc #oc #tom hardy #tom hardy character #peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinder fanfic #ollie #cyril solomons #luca changretta #tommy shelby

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chnat0wn · 5 years

Text

Black Irises

Relationship: Alfie Solomons/Original Female Character

Summary: Deborah meets her sweet, jewish boy she used to know. He is different now. He is a man. He changed when she left him. War changed him.

Alfie Solomons has a few rules. One of them says that no one is allowed to touch or even get near to his woman. Even though Deborah isn't his anymore, he still considers her his own property.

tags: [young love, meeting after years, aggressive partner, angst and comfort]

AO3 LINK

00. The Beach

Deborah entered the building, which from the very beginning was the purpose of her journey. She caught Polly and Ada's attention. They were inside when she decided to disturb their peace in an extremely rapid way. She was breathing heavily and deeply, feeling the familiar, inevitable burning in her chest. The women watched her - they knew exactly why she came.

“Where is he?” she asked without hesitation. She only needed a few deeper breaths. Without waiting for any answer, she moved quickly to Tommy's office. She opened the door, using a little more force than she intended. The room was empty. “Where the fuck is he?”

Ada stood in the entrance to her older brother's office. She looked at Deborah and took a deep breath. She didn't say a word, instead she pursed her lips and followed Deborah, who was looking for one of the books in the desk. She counted on getting any information about the current location of Thomas Shelby as if she expected him to record the exact date and place of the planned revenge.

“Where are they, Ada?” she wailed desperately. She ran her fingers through her hair in a purely nervous gesture, and once again looked around the room. She hoped that Tommy would be at her side any minute, that she would be able to talk to him. “I know what Alfie did. I also know that he should be punished for this. But not this way, Ada. Not this way...” she spoke uncontrollably, having more and more problems with breathing. “He is a good man. Each of us has moments of weakness, don’t we? He just wanted... he had to find a way to...”

“Out of the pan and into the fire.” Ada interjected. “First, you believed that this fucking Italian-tyrant could change. That he'll stop beating the shit out of you.” she folded her arms and shook her head in disbelief. “Now you hope you can change Solomons. You justify everything he did. At least you try to justify that he agreed to kill Tommy.”

“He had no choice.” she protested, dropping her hands. They fell involuntarily. She knew that if she would stay here and have a senseless conversation with Ada, she wouldn't be able to do anything, she would lose her precious time.

“Sure, he had not.” she snorted. “I have helped you many times. Because you are my friend and I love you like my own sister. But I don't know if I can put my real family above your happiness. Which, by the way, you probably won't get. Not with someone like Solomons.”

Deborah's eyes welled up with tears. It happened often when she was falling into pieces, which was not a sign of weakness. Most often she cried when the pain was unbearable. Never out of helplessness, but now - completely involuntarily - she made an exception. At the thought of Tommy getting rid of Alfie at any moment, a mixture of negative feelings filled her to the brim. A mixture of negative feelings that she couldn't take with calmness.

Ada noticed a change on Deborah's face. At first she saw the uneasiness in her eyes. Now she could see the pain that distorted her smooth, pale visage.

“Listen, Debby. I don't know where he is. He rarely tells me about his destinations.” she said reproachfully. She could no longer look at how Deborah was falling apart from the overwhelming feeling, under the pressure from Ada.

“Formby Beach.” Polly interjected. The woman appeared out of nowhere. Although Deborah was aware that Polly is nearby, she was surprised by her sudden presence. She glanced at the smoldering cigarette, then at Polly's face. An expression of worry pierced her face. “You better be hurry. Tommy set off about ten minutes ago. And I don't think that anything will stop him from what he intends.” she said and brought the cigarette back to her mouth.

“Oh, God. Thank you so much, Pol.” Deborah approached the woman quickly, wrapped her arms around her neck, then laid a quick kiss on her cheek. Then, she left the building and bumped into Arthur. She looked at him, frowning.

“Good day, Debby girl!” he shouted.

“Not now, Arthur.”

“Ishmael” Deborah touched the man's forearm and pointed to a distant point. The view of the beach caused a piercing heat have through her body. She also saw three silhouettes – Tommy, Alfie and Cyril. “Stop the car.” she asked, and before Ishmael extinguished the engine, she opened the door. She fell out of the car and rushed roughly towards the beach. The weather seemed perfect – a light breeze blew the neck and cheeks of Deborah, and the high placed sun cast pleasantly warm rays. The sky was extremely blue and the sea exceptionally calm. She would stop, give more attention to everything that was around her if it was not for the task she gave herself. Tommy has chosen a beautiful day undoubtedly. Or that day favored his intentions.

Tommy was aiming for Alfie. The weapon outlet was at the height of Alfie's face. Tommy was hesitating, which the casual person would not be able to see. Because Tommy didn't hesitate like other people; he didn't show uncertainty, he didn't consider the pros and cons. He was appeared determined, as someone who had already made the decision. But he delayed carrying out the task assigned to him by himself. Seeing all this, Deborah almost made a pitiful moan. At first she couldn't bring herself to make any sound, no matter how much she wanted to prevent Alfie from upcoming judgment. She heard that they were talking – if the conversation consisted of Alfie's one–sided monologue – but she couldn't catch specific words, the meaning of the speech. She was too far away, the blood was too loud in her ears.

“Stop it!” she screamed, realizing that it would be all over before she gets to the right place. “Put down the gun, Tommy. Please!” she added in one breath. She was in the habit of asking instead of ordering. Alfie often admonished her that she should be a bit tougher if she wants to survive. That she should treat men a bit harder.

They both looked at her. Alfie's face expressed surprise and horror Deborah had never seen before. Tommy looked indifferent, though she was able to see the movement of his jaw as he pursed his lips in dissatisfaction. She stood at the point between Alfie and Tommy. She brushed individual strands of hair from her face, breathing heavily. She stared at Tommy – she expected that he could use the moment of inattention and settle the matter as it should. She looked at Alfie, however.

“You shouldn't fucking be 'ere, right? You shouldn't get involved in 'his.” Alfie drawled. He was clearly offended by the fact that someone interrupted him with such an intimate experience as his own death.

“Shush!” she turned to him, raising her finger.

Deborah looked at Tommy again. She came to him slowly. The sand made it difficult to move, not to mention stepping up – she was shaking on her feet as the shoes were sinking in the soft, golden surface. She was like a child who was just learning how to walk. Besides, she felt unimaginably tired. She stepped up in front of Tommy, never taking her eyes off his face.

“Don’t do it.” she whispered pleadingly. “He deserved it after all he did. Except that I don't have a goddamn idea why he did it...” she glanced at Alfie with reproach, then returned to Tommy. “Let him live. Not for himself, but for me. For Benjamin.” she smiled crookedly, though her eyes filled with tears. After a moment, one of them ran down her cheek. “Otherwise, shoot me too.” she nodded decisively.

Tommy looked away from Alfie and slowly moved it to Deborah. He hadn't been making exceptions, even if a woman asked him to do otherwise. If he had to avenge a family member or other important case, he was unstoppable. He didn't accept arguments or prayers. Still, something in Deborah's face meant that he would be able to consider it all again.

“Mphm... We can be together forever.” Alfie interjected. He was strangely calm, unmoved by the whole situation. “Somewhere else. In a better place. In Olam ha–ba.”

Deborah turned slowly and looked at him with a pain that didn't accompany her even when she was with her previous husband. She didn't understand his attitude. She didn't accept the words he said. She didn't believe he could talk to her that way. She didn't believe that he thought he could convince her this way. She looked at him with a distinct grief, as if she was angry with him. Alfie was close to looking away. But then he would show his weakness.

“You, sweetie” Alfie pointed at her. “you have yer fucking, perfect ending, eh?” he said. “Let me have mine. This 's exactly as I wanted it to be. You can leave, right. No need to watch.”

“You can't be serious.” she shook her head. She pursed her lips and looked away only for a moment. She looked at the sky over her head, closed her eyes and let the warm rays fall on her face, drowning in the golden light of the sun to gain strength. She looked at Alfie again. She sniffed and walked over to him, traveling twice as long as to Tommy. She stepped in front of a silhouette emitting extraordinary power, in front of the silhouette which she always felt safe with. Familiar warmth beat out of Alfie's body. The warmth she wanted to remember. That's why she approached him a few extra inches and placed her hands on his stomach, sliding them under the flap of his thick coat. Alfie raised his hand to her face. He stroked her cheek with his thumb, and then he wiped another tear that fell down her face.

“Don’t say that. Don't do such a thing to me.” she whispered. Alfie looked at her with complete understanding. However, Deborah wasn't able to understand how he could be so calm. She knew why, since he chose such an end for himself. But she didn't know how he was managing it. “Don't do this to us.”

“Yeah. Our Benji.” he gasped expressionlessly. “He'll understand it.” he answered in the same tone as before. Deborah frowned with disbelief. “He's a big boy. And you acting like a little girl, aren't you?”

Alfie looked away and thrust his gaze into Tommy's face. As if he expected he would do what he came for. Deborah followed his glance, then raised her hands to his face and forced him to look at her. Only now did she notice the difficulty with which he looked into her eyes. He never had that big problem with it. He was usually self–confident, crushing her with his power, a hard, dominant gaze. It came naturally, he never wanted her to feel worse than him. But she felt that she should worship him. Go to her knees and pray to her own Lord and Savior, who Alfie was to her.

“Maybe he'll understand.” she replied, taking the same indifferent calm. She looked down just to gather her thoughts. She had to wonder if she should reveal a theory that had been bouncing off the walls of her mind for a long time. It was like a biting insect reminding her of its presence. “You can't take a father away from the children. Do you understand me, Alfie?” she asked, looking him in the eye again.

Alfie opened his eyes wider, frowned and raised his chin a bit, looking at Deborah from a different angle. He had never thought that he would be able to feel so many conflicting emotions. He wasn't stupid and he thought he knew what Deborah was talking about. Out of fear, he didn't allow himself this thought. If he was not mistaken, and Deborah's words were quite obvious, he was not ready for what was waiting for him.

“Fuck me...” he took a deep breath through his slightly parted lips. He raised his hands and covered Deborah's hands with them. He has always admired her beauty. For him, she was a rare masterpiece, the most precious gemstone. He was grateful that he had met her again, that he could be with her. But now he couldn't tell if he felt any happiness. He pursed his mouth, making one of the lip disappear somewhere under his mustache. He squeezed his eyelids as if some unidentified, exceptionally loud and troublesome noise disturbed his thoughts. Deborah saw a single, wet trail run through Alfie's cheek. He took an uneven breath and dropped to his knees, sliding his hands down Deborah's body. He buried his face in her stomach and embraced her, clinging her like a last resort. Deborah slipped her fingers into his hair and breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s all right, Alfie. It's over now.” she said quietly. “Everything will be fine.”

Alfie didn't believe her words. He knew that it has been better back then. And they probably never will be happier than they used to be. Their best times have passed, and attempts to come to terms with this thought have ended in failure. He couldn't see the future. And he didn't feel convinced about the positives of life, even when Deborah was with him. He felt even worse with the thought that once again he must bring her into the world that surrounded him. Such delicate, seemingly weak woman in his dangerous reality. He didn't want to think about raising children in this conditions. He knew what happened to Grace Shelby.

“We'll move to Margate. Just like in your visions.” she smiled slightly. She leaned over and kissed the top of Alfie's head. She glanced at Tommy, who was watching them. “You'll never see him again. He will never hurt your family. You have my word. Just let us go.”

It was said that Thomas Shelby had softened. Maybe they were right. Maybe he was less brutal, but he never lost his cunning and skill to solve problems. And this time he could see another way out of the situation.

“If he dares to threaten my family again, I will kill him. Without blinking. Understood?” he said, not even trying conviction. He just looked at Deborah, and he gave her no choice but to believe his words.

#alfie solomons #alfie solomons fanfic #alfie solomons fanfiction #alfie solomons imagine #alfie solomons x oc #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby

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sloanellwood · 4 years

Text

(ELEMENTARY TEACHER) sloan ellwood (36 / she/her / female ): we hear SLOAN ELLWOOD is scrupulous, maternal, and understanding, but can also be melancholy, addictive, and secluded. ( emily blunt)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

*BACKGROUND;

°✮ - Born in Rose Hill, Sutton, England. A small roundabout town, very quaint part of the countryside. ( population, minimal... which meant everybody knew everyone ... and all of their business. ) it made the woman grow custom to being very laid back, and friendly in nature. she was a fearless child. most radical adventures were taken with her best friend, her older sibling, harper. the ellwood sisters braided each others hair on their favorite tree in their back yard. ( the tree had been broken down from a lightening storm. the two ate picnics there everyday... usually with bread harper stole from artie .. the local baker.. ) but the children would chatter over tommy. a neighbourhood boy who would often chase the girls and tug at their braids. tommy also grew up with the girls hanging around the country club while their fathers played golf together. ( their mothers drinking wine and gossiping together. ) the three of them grew to be a mischievous version of musketeers. Sloan swore to her sister, with rolled eyes, that ‘thomas’ was only tugging and chasing at them, because he wanted his own batch of their cooties.

°✮ - When the girls grew older, Harper began to tie the bottom of her Academy buttoned shirt into a way that made it apparent she was beginning to blossom, while Sloan made it a responsibility to study her brain away. after school the girls helped work at their mothers small trinket and candy shop in the square. Sloan began to take a mothering role over her sister, even though she was the younger one. harper would get into all sorts of trouble, sloan always covering for her and picking up the pieces.

°✮ - the two both attended college. harper barely making it, having struggled in and out of drug use. ( something sloan hadn’t tampered with. ) her sister became a successful cardiologist, and she a teacher. as college neared to an end, it was announced that thomas and harper were dating, and not shortly- to be married. it was slightly, and quietly alarming to sloan. she always thought thomas had been in love with her - though jealousy wasn’t within her over the matter. she could have cared less. she never grew particular to men, and thomas had been the first she confided in with being attracted to women.

°✮ - a few of years later; sloan was teaching. there was a contentment traveling consistently with her life. she had even a serious relationship, moved in and all.. until the tragic news of her sister came through. drugs. pills. narcotics. anti-depressants. harper was struggling beneath everyone’s noses.. and with every memory and bit of sisterhood the two sisters had together.. sloan was left with nothing but a note. suicide.

°✮ - it was entirely hard to process. digest. sloan hit a wall completely with it all. she began to slip into a struggle with alcoholism. there wasn’t a focal point that it was an issue until the woman lost her job because of it. what a complete, utter fool she had made of herself. rehabilitation was just as tough.. it brought her to face her problems head on, rather than to sweep them beneath the rug.. or drown them in liquor.

°✮ - taking a hefty amount of time to recover... and after her father had passed over time.. sloan needed to get out. england had become a land of suffocation. too many painful reminders of dark areas she so badly wanted to shed light on, but couldn’t. her mother pushed her to not worry about her. to take care of herself. that was always the importance. - and so she did. where did lost people go ? los angeles seemed like one of those experimental places that people made picturesque. why not.

°✮ - after moving to california, it wasn’t much after until sloan landed herself a teaching job. relationships hadn’t stuck much, and frankly, she wondered if she wanted something bigger in life. thomas, had agreed to the insane idea of being a sperm donor. twice. now with having two daughters, ( ages 4, and 6,) thomas lives in england. a part time dad. quite the conversation to explain it to her children..but sloan hadn’t trusted any man other than tom... and some weird part of her felt her sister would want that connection.

°✮ - retrograde nights happen sparsely. other teachers from sloans place of work often try to pull her out of the house, and away from children. it was always necessary to invest in relationships that just weren’t with teaching children all day... then going home to continue dealing with children. her hands were allowed to not be full all the time. THOUGH, sloan never allows herself anything more, or anything other than TWO glasses of wine. - and it isn’t often. her control is in a solid grasp, however, it is all sometimes.. triggering. she’s polite though, doesn’t mind if others drink liquor, or excessively. if she’d uncomfortable, she will just lightly excuse herself.

* PERSONALITY;

°✮ - ( - ) melancholy, addictive, secluded.

°✮ - ( + ) maternal, scrupulous, understanding.

* STUFF ‘N THINGS;

°✮ - loves to bake with her children. - is very into them helping in the kitchen, ( under supervision, ) every night cooking means the radio on, and the three of them dancing around the kitchen island. most likely to 80′s pop, sinatra/fitzgerald.

°✮ - they have a cockerspaniel his name is artie.. yes, after the baker back home who harper used to steal bread from.

°✮ - sloan wears glasses when grading papers. seeing up close can be a semi-struggle.

°✮ - she doesn’t allow her children to eat a ton of fast food - but HELL is she guilty of saying mommy needs a night out... and going to in and out for a burger... alone. her personal joy.

°✮ - loves some solid karaoke.

°✮ - rolls her eyes at moms who believe their children have flowers up their asses just by what their family name is. PTA meetings are a blast.....

°✮ - enjoys hiking, thinks celery juice is the fucking devil... but plugs her nose to get it down. she keeps a healthy work out regime.

°✮ - has a bird, small, tattoo on her wrist with two even smaller birds. her, and her daughters.

* CONNECTIONS;

°✮ - staff from school, parents who have children in her class, karaoke partners, babysitters, awkward flirtations from retrograde, friends from around the city, ex-lovers, friendships entirely, involved with an activity her daughters are involved in, neighbours,.... possibly sloan every once in a while attends AA... and grief meetings.. open to anything, really.

#bio #( ᴡᴀɪᴛᴇᴅ ʜᴏᴜʀs ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴏᴜʀs ʜᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴜᴅ sɪʀᴇɴs. - ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ. * )#tlawintro #tw: death #tw: alcoholism

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edgeofmyniall · 5 years

Text

five

The vase, full of wildflowers, sat in the vase on Rachel’s desk two days after her date with Niall. They had been delivered during her planning period when no student was around. When she walked up to the front office, the secretary couldn’t stop smiling at her.

Rachel grabbed the flowers and headed back to her classroom fully aware of how hot her cheeks were. When she thought it was safe, she read the card. She knew who these were from.

“Since you don’t have a vase…” There was no name but under the near penmanship was a drawing of the lightning bolt and Harry Potter glasses that Niall had done his best with.

It was three weeks since their date, and Niall had spent any free time he could watching the Harry Potter movies. It’s better than not really knowing about them at all, right? If that was something Rach liked, he’d want to at least hold a good conversation about it. He took the sorting hat quiz thing and found out he’s a Hufflepuff. Researching the house online, he thought the quiz must be broke because he’s more brave than anything. He’d face his worst nightmare years ago. I wonder what House Rach is in, Niall thought and then he realized that ever since they kissed, he was to referring to her as Rach instead of Rachel.

He had grown attached to her. The texting back and forth, the phone calls that went well into the morning, the companionship he so longed for- through it all, even if it was a short amount of time, he had grown fond of Rachel. He wanted to spend more time with her.

But his heart hurt as he longed for Rachel. Was he doing an injustice to Isabella? It almost felt like he was cheating on her- almost. What would his kids think? How would they handle it? Would they hate him for moving on? Especially with a teacher? How could he do this to his family? He wanted to know.

So on a Friday night, it made it clear that the twins needed to be free so that they could have family night. Sitting around their triangle table, Niall laid out the board of Monopoly as his nerves got the best of him. Mags and Mack looked on as Niall placed the car onto the start square.

“It’s been a while since we had family night. Figured we’d spend some time together.” Niall said as he shuffled the deck of cards.

“We’d have more time if you weren’t gone all the time,” Mags snapped as she slammed Alice down. Mack looked at his sister as he contemplated reaching for a game piece. “Saw your note on Miss Miles’ flowers.”

“Wait, dad’s been sneaking out with Miss Miles? Your teacher with the big a-“ Niall cut his eyes to his youngest before the word ass slipped out of his mouth. “Astronomical sense of literature.” Mack cleared his throat. “So Miss Miles could be our new mom?”

“I don’t think it’s that serious...yet.” Hearing her dad say those words cut Mags deep. She sat up quickly scooting the bench back before throwing her face piece at the wall. She stomped up the stairs before locking herself in her room. Niall looked at Mack before walking up the stairs to his daughter’s room. He knocked gently.

“Mags?” His daughter, who nearly always was the first answer him before he even got his sentence out didn’t speak a word. She didn’t come to the door, so Niall knocked a little harder. “Maggie? I want to talk to you. Please open the door.” He wiggled the door knob, but it didn’t budge.

Nothing. Now, Niall felt enraged. Who was Maggie to lock the door in his house? With Mack it was one thing. That kind of thing happened often enough that Niall had the drill handy to unscrew the door from the frame, but Mags? She would have never done this in a million years. It shocked Niall to the point that he was dumbfounded.

“Maggie Ryann Horan, open this door right now or I will take it down myself. One.”

Niall found himself standing in front of Maggie’s door with his hands on his hips, waiting for her to shuffle around to unlock her bedroom door.

“Two.” I swear to God Maggie if you don’t open this door…” Niall thought as he ran his hands through his hair. “I just want to talk.”

“Go away,” Mags’ voice trembled. Niall knew Mags was upset, but for what? Because he started dating again? It had been thirteen years- Niall wanted to be happy again. “Maggie…” Niall’s voice pleaded, “Talk to me.”

“GO TALK TO YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND. IT’S NOT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT MOM ANYMORE.” A thud came from the other side of the door as if Mags had thrown something at the barrier between daughter and father. “Fuck,” Mags whispered softly, stifling her crying.

“That’s it. I’m going to get the drill, and take down this damn door.” Niall walks away from the cream door, huffing out “God damn teenagers. I swear, they think they own the fuckin’ world,” when the click of the lock from Maggie’s door stops him in his tracks. She had unlocked the door when Niall had stepped away from the door well. Niall turned around and stood in front of the still closed door. He sighed, shaking his anger away- Mags need someone to talk to, not someone who was going to yell at her. He turns the knob and lets go of the cool metal. The door turns to expose a tear stained face of his daughter on her knees hovering over a broken framed picture of her mother. Maggie had thrown the picture of the young woman at the door when she was yelling at her father.

“I broke… I broke it,” Maggie cried as she picked up the photo through the jagged pieces of glass. Niall squatted down and took his daughter’s hands in his. The photo of the Isabella laid on the white carpet next to the broken metal frame and glass. “I...I got so angry. I’m so sorry Daddy, I don’t know-”

“Shhh, it’s alright. Just the vessel that broke. Let’s look here, okay?” Niall brushes the wet brown hair out of Mags’ face before kissing her temple. Niall pulls the picture out of the rubble and hands it to his daughter with no scarring. “See, there, Mom’s okay. We can get another frame, okay?” Mags shakes her head and begins to cry harder. Niall sits down on the carpeted floor and pulls his first born in his arms. “What’s going on with you?”

“I just,” Maggie goes quiet before speaking again, “I don’t know,” she whispers looking down at the palm of her hands.

“You got to talk to me so we can work this out. Is it because I’m dating?” Niall asked, his voice calm and soothing, which was far from what he was feeling. He was a nervous wreck. He had expected something like this out of Mack, but not Mags.

“Why do you have to date? Wasn’t mom enough?” Mags asked as she looked up with tear filled eyes to her father. Her cheeks and the tender parts of her eyes were blochted red- something she had inherited from her mother.

“Well…” Niall began. Mags laid her head on Niall’s shoulder, sniffling as she listened on. “your mom will always be enough. She’s the love of my life, but ever since she’s been gone, I felt empty. There’s this hole that has been made empty since Mom died. And I thought if I didn’t look at it- didn’t even acknowledge it, it would go away. But it didn’t, it kept getting bigger.

I kept myself from drowning with my grief by raising you two.”

“And by helping people in town?”

“That too. It kept me too busy to grieve. It’s basically like I forgot that the whole was there. Until I met Rachel. She was the one who is filling that hole for me.”

“But don’t you miss mom?”

“Every damn day. It hurts like hell some days, but I’ve grown used to it.”

“Miss Miles, she seems nice.”

“She’s very fond of you. Told me that she wanted to send your writings off.”

Mags listened to Niall with open ears. She still very much wished that she had known her mom, how she laughed and smelled- the stories her dad told her do no justice.

“She doesn’t want to be your mom. Rachel knows that you have one. We’re just seeing where things could go. You’ll always have a mom, you understand that, right?” Mags nods her head. The two of them sat there in silence until Mack yelled out that the game needed to start.

“Can she come over one night? For game night?” Mags asked before she walked out the door. Niall smiled as he scooped up the broken glass.

“Of course, baby girl.”

---

Niall sat in his office at Horan Building, LLC going over paperwork for upcoming projects when there was a knock on his door. Tommy, the high schooler who worked part time, was standing in the doorway. “There’s someone here to see you.”

Niall looked up from his desk and asked, “Who is it?”

“Some lady. She wanted to speak with you.”

“Alright, tell her I’ll be out in a minute.” Niall straighten his hair and pressed down his gray polo with golden embroidered Horan Building, LLC on the right side of the chest with his palms before standing up and making his way to his awaiting guest. It was half past four when he entered the front of the store only to find Rachel staring at the wall of plywood behind the counter.

“My my what a surprise,” Niall said catching Niall’s attention. He wrapped his arms around Rachel’s waist and hugged her tightly. He kissed her on the cheek, making her blush slightly. “What are you doing here?”

“Came to see where the famous Niall Horan works at, catch you on your turf. Show me around?” The couple began walking down each aisle as Niall tells Rachel all about the tools they import from across the country. He found his arm hung over her waist as he talked about how he built a rocking chair that he uses to this day. It was one of the first things he built.

“Well, the real reason why I came by today…” “Was to see my sexy face, I knew it.” Niall winked as they walked back up to the front. Rachel gently shoved Niall’s shoulder before speaking again.

“One I want to renovate my kitchen. I don’t really like it. It’s too cluttered for me. Know any good handymen?”

“I may know a few…” Niall smirked.

“And I also was informed that this coming up Friday I was expected at your house for game night.” Rachel smiled.

“Mags is persistent. Shouldn’t keep her waiting.”

“Guessing you told her?”

“Yeah, I think she’s coming around to the idea of me dating.”

“Dating? I thought I was showing around an old fart.” Niall’s laughed boomed through the store.

“Yeah, that too.”

Rachel kissed Niall, a sweet and tender peck on the lips before squeezing his hand, “I’ll be there at seven.”

As Rachel turns to leave, Niall grabs her hand, “Wanna come to the Halloween Carnival with us?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

In that moment, Niall felt whole again.

#niall #niall horan #niall fic #niall horan fic #niall fanfic #niall horan fanfic #niall imagine #niall horan imagine #niall au #niall horan au #the tide #1dff #let me know what you think #dad! niall

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staticscreenwriting · 6 years

Text

Strong hearts and concrete - Billy Hargrove

Synopsis: Billy is enough.

A/N: I thought this was cute. Enjoy. Gimme feedback if you feel like it :)

“ Love and great buildings will survive Strong hearts and concrete stay alive Through the great depressions Yeah, the best things are designed to stand the test of time Love and great buildings will endure Blue skies and bloodlines are the cure For the great deceptions in a world that's such a blur “

The room is silent except for the scrapping of the cutlery against the plates. Susan tries to start a round of small talk every once in a while but realises soon enough that neither party currently sitting at this table is particularly interested in taking part. Neil doesn’t care about Billy’s day as long as he didn’t get into trouble and Billy doesn’t want to share any information either. Partially because he knows no one gives a shit and partially because there isn’t really anything to tell.

Surely no one wants to know that he got an A in english literature but told Tommy he got a C+ because apparently guys like him don’t get good grades. They also really don’t need to know that he got a blowjob from Nikkie Collins in the boy’s locker room after basketball practice because that would be TMI and then he’d also have to explain that she slapped him afterwards for moaning a different name when he came.

He also doesn’t mention that he got a letter from a University. It’s probably a rejection letter anyway and it’s not like even told anyone he applied so there’s not need to tell ‘em about it if it ends up being a failure anyway. That would just prove his dad right in his believe that Billy is a no good asshole. And even if he got in it’s not the most prestigious of all universities so that’s also something his dad will be sure to point out.

So he doesn’t anything and munches down the dry ass meatloaf. Because despite it all, today is gonna be a good night. Because it’s his night, and hers. It belongs to them and them only. Him and (Y/N).

When Billy Hargrove was 12 years old he didn’t know very much about the world or life or death or anything really. What he did know though, was that people don’t miraculously get better and that his mother, despite her constant reassurance, wasn’t an exception to that. She was getting worse with every day and the fact that they had stopped with the radiation wasn’t a good sign either. They were preparing for the end. He was young, not stupid.

He’d spent a lot of time at the hospital, befriending the nurses, figuring out at what angle to hit the snack machine so it ended up giving him two snacks for the price of one, drinking slushies from the cafeteria. And then there was the chapel. He never gave much of a hoot about religion, neither did his mom or his dad. But one time he walked past the open chapel door and there she was.

She was just 12 years old herself, but she was the prettiest girl little Billy had ever seen. She was dorky looking and her hair was a downright mess and she wore a Scooby Doo shirt and jeans with bright pink paint stains on them. And she was there, talking to herself like she was having a proper conversation.

He wanted to walk past this chick, she looked like trouble, looked like a proper weirdo to be honest but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was like suddenly 12 year old Billy’s world had found another person to gravitate towards. Like now that his mother was about to leave him, this girl was thrown into his life to keep him grounded. Stop him from tipping over the edge.

So he walked in and they talked. About the weather and the snack machine and the slushies. They talked about Scooby Doo and the Jetsons and Led Zeppelin. They talked about god and how she thought that even if it was all made up bullshit, that talking to a higher power was whack, it didn’t do no harm either. The worst that could happen was that no one heard her and then at least she had gotten her worries off her chest.

And then they talked about his mom and her dad and how they were both approaching the end of the road, slowly but surely. And about how they were both angry and sad and scared and overwhelmed.

And just like that, his life seemed a little less lonely.

It’s been their thing ever since, to meet up every year for the anniversary of their first meeting. To celebrate their friendship and remember their parents, together. For a while Billy had thought that this year they wouldn’t make it, that his move to Indiana was gonna be a problem. That he’d have to face his demons alone.

But once again, (Y/N) came through. The girl had booked a plane ticket even before Billy had fully moved to Hawkins yet. If something is important to her, if she cares about something or someone, there is no way anyone or anything can keep (Y/N) from making things happen. She is a force to be reckoned with. In Billy’s eyes she is a downright saint. A superhero. She is magic.

And maybe it is because he isn’t used to people caring so much about him but her spending her money on a plane ticket only to come see him, is nothing short of incredible to him.

“ Dad, I uh — I’m done. Can I leave ? “

He hates this. Hates that he’s constantly afraid to say the wrong thing. Do the wrong thing. Look at his dad in the wrong way. That’s not how it’s supposed to be, how a healthy father-son relationship is supposed to be.

And yet, that’s the way things are now. How they’ve been since mom died.

Neil chews his dinner. Slowly. And with every passing second Billy’s hands get more clammy and his heart beats a little faster. Tonight means everything to him. He hasn’t seen (Y/N) since they moved to Hawkins and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do if his dad finds a reason not to let him go. He’s been on his best behavior recently. No fights, no detention, no talking back even when his dad was being a massive dick. Just so there’s no reason for Neil not to let him go out tonight.

“ You done with your schoolwork ? “

Billy knows he doesn’t give a shit about his schoolwork, he just wants to assert his status as the superior man in this house. The one who decides, who makes the rules. Usually Bill would answer with some kind of witty comeback that would surely get him into serious trouble. But not tonight. He will just have to swallow his pride. There is no way he’s gonna jeopardize a night with his girl for a moment of teenage rebellion. So he just nods.

“ Put your plate in the sink. Don’t stay out too late. I expect you to be on your best behavior. If you do some stupid shit tonight and I find out about it … “

He doesn’t end the sentence. Billy knows well enough what kind of consequences he means. He’s had a few black eyes in the last 5 years. If anything, at least they make him look tough. The chicks dig it. Some of them. Not (Y/N), never (Y/N).

“ Yes sir. “

Billy doesn’t count but he’s sure it can’t be more than 4 minutes and he’s out of the house. He called out a goodbye as he walked through the door but got nothing back in return. God, he hates this family.

He’s at the motel in the matter of 10 minutes. Hawkins is tiny but for the first time since he’s moved here that actually works to his advantage. He spots her from quite a distance. Maybe because she just sticks out. This radiant girl in a shithole like Hawkins. Or maybe it’s because he’s so insanely in love with her that he just gravitates towards her. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter until he holds her in his arms.

She’s standing by the little playground to the side of the Motel. There’s swings and a seesaw and slides and it reminds him of the playground behind her house where they used to meet up when they were just kids. Where they met to grief, to laugh and cry and rant whenever things at home got bad. Where they had their first kiss and where they got drunk for the first time.

Those memories are everything to him.

He parks his car and hurries towards her like his life depends on it. And maybe it does just a little.

She’s in his arms in the matter of seconds and she’s warm and familiar and her hair is soft and smells like apple shampoo and Billy hates himself for being such a sissy but having her close makes him feel invincible. Like finally something in his life is right again.

“ You look ridiculous “ he says and points towards her Happy Days shirt.

“ Don’t hate on the Fonz, Bill. You’re the guy who’s wearing a mullet. “

“ You love the mullet!”

It’s not so much that she loves the mullet. She loves the boy who wears the mullet. Billy, in (Y/N) eyes, is so much more than he realizes. He’s deadly smart, undeniably charming and incredibly loyal to the people he cares about. (Y/N) hates Neil Hargrove for turning him into this shell of himself. This angry boy who doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions. This boy who feels so much but is allowed so little healthy outlet.

“ Good to see you, punk “ it’s as close to an “ I missed you “ as she’s going to get at this point. Maybe later when he’s had some beers and nostalgia seeps in. Maybe then he’ll say it. Because if ever anything has been true, it’s that he’s missed her.

“ You too. “

There’s so much they want to say, want to do. But most of all he wants to kiss her and never ever stop. Only you don’t just go and kiss your best friend even if it happened before. Multiple times. He doesn’t even know if she’s got someone at home, waiting for her to come back. Billy doesn’t think he wants to know.

“ So ? What’s the plan. What’s there to do in this — metropolis. “

He can’t suppress the scoff. If anything, Hawkins was a dirty smudge on the map.

“ You want me to be honest ? “

“ Always “

“ Absolutely nothing. “

“ Then let’s do that. I really don’t care as long as we do it together. “

And his heart makes a little jump. Is this what dying feels like ?

They’re sitting in his car with slushies from the gas station and burgers from that overpriced 24 hours diner. Usually Billy would never ever spend so much money on a fucking burger but today is a special night. He’s got his girl by his side and they’re celebrating the live of his mother and her father. If that isn’t a good enough reason to treat themselves, Billy doesn’t know what is.

There’s Led Zeppelin playing on the stereo and Fleetwood Mac and Abba. All their parents favorite songs. Billy thinks most of them are whack but he still has a vivid memory of his mother making peanut butter sandwiches in the kitchen singing along to Waterloo. He was embarrassed then. Now, would give everything to get that moment back.

“ I uh — I got something I wanted to show you “ he starts. He doesn’t know why exactly he’s so nervous. This is (Y/N), his (Y/N) and whatever the outcome, it doesn’t change her perception of him, he knows this. But maybe that’s it. This is (Y/N) and he wants to, for once in his life, show her that he can be more, can be better, can be enough.

“ I actually got something too “ she mumbles around a bit of her cheeseburger.

“ You wanna start ? “

“ Nah you go first “ and there goes his try at buying himself some time to work up some confidence.

“ Alright “ Billy nods and opens the glove compartment taking out the letter he’s stored there this morning.

“ What’s that ?”

“ It’s a — uh. Well when you told me that you applied to Berkeley I decided to apply for university too “

“ You applied to Berkeley ? “

“ Don’t be ridiculous, I could never get in “ Billy scoffs and nudges her side with his elbow “ no I applied to this tiny college that’s really nothing special but it’s about half an hour from Berkeley and I thought maybe if I get in we could, be closer and you wouldn’t have to buy a plane ticket every year to come celebrate today with me. It would make things easier you know. I doubt I got in anyway but I just — doesn’t hurt to try right ? “

(Y/N) softly touches Billy’s cheek and turns his head a little so he’s finally facing her. He does this thing a lot, where he gets insecure and looks everywhere but at her. She can’t comprehend why in the world he would think there’s anything he could do to make her judge him. She loves him, doesn’t he know this?

And then she realises why he does the things he does. And it all starts and ends with the absolute monster that is Neil Hargrove.

“ Billy, believe in yourself for once. I love this idea of our future. I want to do this with you. There’s no one I’d rather have by my side than you, in whatever happens. But god, can you believe in yourself for once ? You are so much smarter than you let people see. You are fiercely loyal and incredibly protective of the things that mean something to you. I adore you, you know that right ? They’d be stupid not to take you. “

No one has ever told him that, since his mother passed away. He’s just been — there. Like a footnote in what’s supposed to be his “family”. Having the one person he cares about, the one person whose opinion matters to him, tell him she adores him. Billy doesn’t know how to properly process that.

“ Why haven’t you opened it yet ? “

Because he was fucking scared, that’s why. Does he tell her that ? No. He’s sure she can read it on his face but he’s not gonna admit to being scared anytime soon. Not happening.

“ Dunno “ he says and shrugs and they both know what it means.

“ Then let’s do it now ” (Y/N) exclaims and takes the letter from his hands, opening it with a smile on her face.

Her eyes scan the letter and with every second of silence Billy gets more and more anxious. This could be the start of something great or yet another disappointment.

“ You got in ! “ there’s so much in her voice it’s hard for Billy to comprehend. But overall there’s joy.

And Billy himself ? He’s just at a loss for words. A loss for anything pretty much.

This isn’t how his life works out for him usually. Things don’t go his way and good things tend to avoid him.

“ Are you happy ? “

He doesn’t think happy really does it justice. He’s more than that.

“ I — yeah. “

“ Good because uh — I got into Berkeley. Felt like this was a good time to mention it.”

And suddenly the world seems even more bright.

Billy can’t help himself at this point. He knows he shouldn’t he really shouldn’t. But he does.

Her face is so soft and small in his hands as he places a long tender kiss on her lips. It’s been entirely too long since he’s got to kiss her and yet it feels so much like home. Like happiness and all things good in the world.

“ I’m sorry “ he says as he pulls away because you don’t just go kissing your best friend.

But she doesn’t mind, he thinks. He knows, as she pulls him closer for another kiss. And it’s just as good and Billy hopes that there can be, will be, more kisses like this in the future and that they always feel like home.

“ What did you want to show me ? “

“ Oh yeah “ she pulls away for a second and fumbles around in her purse before pulling out an old-ish looking piece of paper.

“ What’s that ? “

“ Our list “

And suddenly his blood grows cold again. They’d made this list just a few weeks after her father had passed away, when Billy’s mom was only a few days from dying as as well. They’d been angry and sad and overwhelmed.

The list, was a creation of all those emotions and the frustration about the fact that both their parents were taken too soon. Taken before they could live life to its full potential.

So they made a list of all the things they wanted to do before graduation.

“ We’re almost done with school. I think we should read it, see what we’ve accomplished. “

What she doesn’t know, is that after all the things they had written down together, Billy has made a little addition. Because 12 year old Billy had serious balls and thought that by now, surely he’d have made (Y/N) his girlfriend. Yeah that didn’t happen and now Billy was screwed.

“ Number 1 “ (Y/N) begins to read “ Go to New York City “

“ Not done that “

“ Me neither, well this is off to a good starts “ she jokes and places a kiss on Billy’s cheek. Just because she felt like it but also because she wants him to know that this doesn’t change how she feels, how excited she is for their future. Because it’s for certain that it’s theirs now. Together.

“ Number 2. Go skinny dipping. Hey we did that “

Billy remembers vividly. He still doesn’t know how he was able to successfully hide that boner but apparently she hadn’t noticed it then. Or maybe she just didn’t want to make things awkward, didn’t want to embarrass him.

“ Oh man, yeah we did. That was a good day “

And it was. He has nothing but fond memories, even the awkward ones he wouldn’t trade for anything in this world. Even the really sad ones seemed a little brighter if she was in them.

“ It was a pretty awesome day “

They go through more points on the list. Most of which they have experience together.

Sneak into the drive in.

Watch a really scary movie.

Eat fast food for a whole day.

Get a driving licence.

Have a Valentine.

Have a first kiss.

Get drunk.

Smoke a cigarette.

Smoke a special cigarette.

Go to a rock concert. and then there was one that Billy only now remembers they put on there. “ Fall in love “

“ Have you ? “ Billy asks and wonders if he even wants to know the answer. If his heart can take it, hearing that she might’ve been in love with another guy. Learning that she might be in this moment.

“ Billy “ she says in that special kind of tone that’s not condescending but that conveys a certain kind of “I can’t believe you asked this” vibe. “ You have to be blind or live in complete denial if you can’t see that I’m in love with you.”

He knows this isn’t what dying feels like. This, the way he’s feeling in that moment when she tells him she’s in love with him, that’s what living feels like.

“ You are ? “

“ Sure. I’ve been in love with you since I was 14 years old and I’ve loved you even longer. “

“ Since when ? “ he doesn’t ask to boost his ego or anything like that. He’s genuinely curious. He wants to know what made her fall in love with him, so he can do more of that.

“ You know, when you let me cry to you after my dad died. I knew I loved you then because you were the only one that could relate. Everyone else tried to make me feel better but you let me be miserable and sad and angry. But I was never alone in my grief. I loved you with all my heart from that moment on.”

Billy never thought that such a mundane thing as being there for her, something he didn’t see as a big deal at all, made her love him. It’s what friends do. Real friend. Those who give a shit.

But he gets what she means. He’s been through it. When his mom had passed away people tried to comfort him with words and nice gestures and weirdly enough, a shit ton of homecooked meals. But they didn’t know. They didn’t live his grief. They may have had good intentions but that didn’t help him much at all. All he needed was someone to listen. All he needed was (Y/N).

“ … and when did you know you were in love with me ? “

She laughs a little smile and interlocks her fingers with his. Billy thumb softly stroking the side of her hand.

“ You know, I wish I had some cute story to tell but really it’s not very romantic. It was when we were 14 and I don’t even remember what day it was but it was summer and we were hanging out in my backyard just soaking up the sun and doing nothing and that’s the thing. I was doing absolutely nothing with you and I felt happier than ever. I love you because we can do nothing and it’s still enough for me. I want to do nothing with you for the rest of my life.”

It’s like a shot in the heart, a good one though. Like an entire package of sparklers just went off inside his chest.

“ I uh — I love you too by the way. I’m in love with you too “

It’s the first time he’s ever told anyone he’s in love. Ever.

“ When did you know ? “

“ Look at the bottom of the list, (Y/N) “

And there in 12 year old Billy’s scribbly handwriting it said “ Tell (Y/N) I’m in love with her “.

“ You knew at 12 years old ? “

“ Well yeah. You were the best thing 12 year old me had ever seen and you got me and you didn’t make fun of me and you were so perfectly weird in every way and I just — something changed the moment we met. “

“ I was weird ? I wasn’t weird, you punk “ (Y/N) exclaims jokingly slapping Billy’s arm.

“ You were talking to god as if he was listening. Telling him about Scooby Doo and Abba. That’s not weird ? “

“ Ah, guess you have a point there “ she admits and lays her head against Billy’s shoulder.

“ You know what I said then ? I asked for something good. I knew dad wasn’t getting better and that I would have to come to terms with it and that miracles don’t happen. I just wanted one good thing for myself. “

“ Did you get it ? “

There’s something in her eyes then that’s always been there but for the first time Billy knows what it is and he lets himself see if, feel it. It’s love. For him. For a reason he still can’t fully grasp but he doesn’t question it. Not this time.

When her lips meet his it’s like life is right again. Good again. And he can’t wait for their future to begin. In a few months he is gonna graduate and leave behind this mess of a town. From then on it will be just him and (Y/N) and it will be good. He’s gonna be with the person he cares about the most and the only person since his mother that cares about him just as much in return. He can’t wait for that future. He can’t wait.

“ Yeah I did. I got something real good. I got you “.

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #dacre montgomery imagine #dacre montgomery fanfic #dacre montgomery fanfiction

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hethrewmyheartinthecut · 6 years

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Seeing as we both agree on Ada being the holy queen of the shelbys, i'd like to see who you think fits me as my best friend, booty call, soulmate and archenemy. (If you have the time of course) So i'm a Pisces and they generally tend to be quite caring and very emotional so i'd say that's true. I'm quite short but average sized for the most part. I adore animals. I don't usually speak my mind but i can be easily angered. I love the winter and would like to live in a busy city x

@youre-looking-peaky

London is so clearly the place for you my dear! (I mean, we don’t have many choices here, do we, but whatever lol)

booty call - Tatiana, you meet her in the lobby of a hotel where you like to get lunch with friends sometimes. somehow she gets you into the elevator and it’s all over from there, she’s truly a magician of sex and there are no strings attached whatsoever. it’s like God just gave you a coupon that reads “three free orgasms a week” like I’m serious.

soulmate - Alfie is arranged to be married to you and you kind of hate it but it’s an important dimension of a family business deal so you go along with it and then you end up really loving him. You have loads of dogs, and then that gets out of hand since you’re still living in a flat, so you set up a dog shelter and only keep two in the flat for yourself. You often get angry with him over the occasionally brutal way he conducts business, because is it really necessary to hurt this many people? Usually this is a few days of you smoldering and then he finally shouts and then you say three or four cutting things and then you both sulk for a day and then you make up again, because the alternative is living without him and that’s no good at all. Alfie also loves taking you around the city to see different sights and enjoy the theater, etc. He’s hugely popular within his own community so you always end up leaving the place late after he talks to nine billion different random people that recognize him.

archenemy - Grace is after you almost as soon as you marry Alfie, because the business deal your family struck was against the Shelbys and in the process, Tommy was killed and Michael badly injured. Polly has taken Michael away as she always swore she would, Esme’s run, and Grace is left with nothing but grief and rage and a killing machine named Arthur and her own peerless mind for plotting. Alfie sends you to New York to be with some of his family there for a hot minute because life gets too fucking hot to handle. She does not kill your husband but she does destroy half his rum business and kills your dog and almost kills Ollie and Alfie gets so upset that you decide to return from New York whether he likes it or not because this woman is gonna tear him to pieces if you don’t get the fuck on it.

best friend - May has always been your best friend, ever since you bonded over your shared love of horses as little girls. Your family is new money and her family is old money but both families loved the racing business, so when you get back, instead of staying in your flat (which is quite dangerous) you go live in her London place (and of course she has a London place, don’t be silly) and you get really drunk and she tells you about how lonely she is after her husband died and every bad decision after that and you cuddle her and do up her hair and then the next day you give her a makeover and you start sending her on blind dates with some rakish and occasionally dangerous businessmen that you know through your father’s company and she’s having a good time and all but it’s not really the same, is it? No.

Meantime you’ve been doing your best to outmaneuver Grace on the business front while Alfie’s taking her on in pitched battle, which means the streets of Birmingham run red with blood and you’re having trouble sleeping. It all comes to a head when you make a deal to buy out Charlie Strong’s warehouses, cutting off the Peaky supply route to London, while at the same time Alfie and Arthur go at it in a fight that ends with Alfie breaking Arthur’s neck. Grace is finished and flees to Ireland. Maybe she’ll return one day and try to kill you, but today is not that day.

You take Alfie with you to New York for the honeymoon you never got, and you have such a good time there that you buy an apartment so you can come back once a year. In the meantime, when you get back, you offer the use of the empty apartment to May. When May gets to New York, she a gentlemanly writer who treats her right and decides to stay, so you sell her the apartment. On your first anniversary, you and Alfie use that money to buy a house in London that’s big enough for way more dogs.

And then your favorite terrier has puppies…

#I AM SO INCREDIBLY WEAK #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #mine #ship request #sort of #ask games #also sort of #you're looking peaky

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crewhonk · 6 years

Text

Papa Don’t Preach

(ive been wanting to use this gif forever)

Warnings: a little NSFW in the second scene, but otherwise there’s not much else. Swearing.

Words: 2,446

Summary: “Madonna's 'Papa don't preach' -Billy x Reader In which the reader's dad knows the boy's no good but she doesn't care cause love and all that jazz” In which Hopper or your friends don't support your relationship with your boy. Y’all can request for a part two if you want!!!

Masterlist

Part One | Part Two

But my friends keep telling me to give it up

Hawkins High School wasn’t known for much. The demographic wasn’t too smart, they weren’t too talented in the Arts, and they certainly weren’t known for their football team (who just recently had a resurgence in interest for the first time in six years). However, the school was granted thousand and thousands of dollars for scholarships and funding for the students who were apart of the Tigers basketball team. While Steve Harrington had built the team from nothing, the newest addition gave the team a beautiful new poster boy. He was tan, tall, built, and came from sunny California— the coach told people the family moved from the Sunshine State for the team itself, but you knew through your adopted sisters good friend Max that there had been a messy divorce and that his dad and her mom wanted a new start (“As if my dad was the problem” she had said one girls night when she, Y/N, and Eleven sat in green masks in her dads cabin and watching ‘Dirty Dancing’).

So, it wasn’t too much of a surprise that there was a ‘Tigers Weekend’ where there was a pep rally for the team's tourney on Friday, followed by a city farmers market and town fair on Saturday, and a fundraising car wash on Sunday at the school. All events were run solely by the Team, the cheer squad (who were below average at best— they were all beautiful girls, just not too talented), and the student council— that’s where Y/N Hopper came in. You were the councils Secretary and was therefore encouraged (forced) to volunteer in at least one of the events over the weekend. You had known that the cheer squad would have taken care of the car wash in hopes of catching the attention of one of the Tigers themselves, so you had opted for the town fair. The president of your council had appointed you to the dart-balloon station. All you had to do was hand the participants their darts, take their tickets and hope you didn’t get a dart in the eye. It seemed like an easy job until you got there early that morning and found out that your crush, Billy Hargrove (keg king, sex god, human brass knuckle weapon, Tiger poster boy, you could go on forever) was working the dunk tank across from you.

Good grief.

“Having fun, Thumper?” Steve Harrington teased, walking up to your booth. You and Steve had grown close after the catastrophe that happened in November. You had shown up for your junior year in Hawkins and had moved in with your Dad, Jim Hopper— which then leads to your view of the world being turned upside down (ba-da-tss). Steve had decided to give you the shitty nickname one day after dropping Eleven off from lunch with The Party (“haha get it? ‘Cause your last name is Hopper, and bunnies hop and Thumper is the bunny from Bambi? No? Okay.”).

“Oh, you know me, living my best life.” You stole some of the cotton candy he was holding and promptly let it drop from your mouth into the trashcan. “How does someone mess up cotton candy?”

“It must suck to have to deal with him all day, though.” Steve glared across the way where Tommy H. had run up and pressed the button, effectively sending Billy into the cold water of the tank below.

“He may not be a good person, but he looks good doing it.” You smirked. Steve knew about your crush on the boy and had not spoken to you for four weeks after he had found out. The only reason why he had started speaking to you is because your dad had basically guaranteed a spot in the Hawkins police force on the sole condition that Steve starts talking to you again.

“You’re a dumbass, Y/N Hopper.” He said, throwing the bag of cotton candy in the trash behind the booth.

“And you're an idiot Steve Harrington.” You said, just as a ball of fire sprinted up to your booth and nearly bowled Steve over, making you burst into loud laughter. He had brought all the kids, and therefore the life into this cruddy fair.

“Can we play?” The kids yelled over each other. They gave you the tickets and you gave them the darts and pressed yourself into the far side of the booth, avoiding the wrath of the children throwing darts.

“Elle, no powers that’s cheating!” Mike yelled, budging his girlfriend with his shoulder. You shushed him and winked at your sister who was blushing profusely. Only Lucas had won anything which was a small bear (he gave it to Max who turned as red as her hair). The kids jumped away from where they were standing when there was a grumbling cough behind them. Billy. Billy Hargrove was at your booth. He was wet and at your booth and you didn’t think you would be able to breathe if he kept looking at you like that.

“Hey, Max. Who’s your friend?” He asked, not looking away from you but resting his hand heavily on her shoulder.

“Go away, Billy.” She glared. They had started becoming more civil with each other, but she was fiercely protective of The Party. It was something you admired about the young girl.

“Hey, Blue— I can handle myself.” You smiled at her, making her step away from her older brother. “I’m Y/N.” Your eyes flicked over to the boy (who was still looking at you with those blue eyes oh. my. god.) and you held out your hand for him to shake. He took your hand and raised it to his lips and kissed your fingertips. You could probably die happy. No, you could definitely die happy with the way he was peaking up at you through his thick lashes.

Good grief.

Daddy, daddy if you could only see Just how good he's been treating me You'd give us your blessing right now 'Cause we are in love, we are in love, so please

You and Billy had thrived from that day on. He had given you the time of day (finally), and had been obsessed with you ever since. It was your three month anniversary today, and you and he had left Hawkins and booked a roomie some cheap motel a few hours away in Chicago. You were draped in a beige sheet and nothing else while Billy was sitting against the headboard with a smoke dangling from his lips. He had no sheet covering his body and was half hard from your latest round. You were tracing patterns on his thigh and humming every soften in the warmth and contentment you felt whenever you were around him and away from the glares of your friends. Steve had been so grossly offended by the reciprocation of your feelings but had decided to give Billy the benefit of the doubt when he had gone up and formally apologized to his enemy, shaking his hand on the day of graduation and giving one nod as a goodbye.

He offered the cigarette to you and you took a drag from it. You left it in between his fingers and sucked on the filter.

“You’re so gorgeous, babe.” He groaned, resting his head on the headboard and looked down at you with a small smile on his lips. You rolled on top of him and shimmied up to straddle his lap. You kissed him lightly on the lips and trailed open mouth kisses across his cheek, over his jawline, and down his neck until you reached his collarbone where you nuzzled his way into his shoulder and breathed in his musky man smell. “You’re gorgeous and insatiable.”

“Well, you should have known this would happen when you kissed my hand that day.” You mumbled, melting into him. He sighed and ran his hand through your hair, putting the cigarette in the ashtray beside the bed.

“You smell good, you know that?” He mumbled against your lips before running his tongue over your bottom lip. You moaned lightly and gasped when he rolled you over onto your back. He trailed kisses down your chest and sucked a nipple into his mouth, biting lightly. You giggled, before tugging on his mullet and pulling him up to your lips.

“You should meet my family.” You said, voice strong and making strong eye contact.

“What?” He sat back on his heels and looked at you with a furrowed brow.

“You should meet my dad and my sister.” You pulled yourself up and crossed your legs, leaning forward. You reached and grabbed his hand, brushing your thumb over his. His skin was glowing in the yellow light of the motel room and you felt your entire body warm up. “Dad’s going to be harder to convince, but I think Elle would like you.”

“So, you think we’re serious?” He whispered. Your stomach dropped— you hadn’t expected that reaction.

“Well, I mean, you took me to Chicago and had the bed covered with rose petals. What did you think I was—“

“Baby,” He smiled. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant it in the way that you want me in your life?”

You glanced quickly from your intertwined hands to his face and noticed that his eyes were glassier than normal. You made Billy Hargrove cry.

“You’re it for me, Bill. I know that we have only been dating three months, but you make me feel so warm. You make me better— OH.” You were knocked back by the force of him and laughed through him peppering kisses all over your face.

“I love you.” He laughed.

The one you warned me all about The one you said I could do without

To say that dinner was awkward would be an understatement. You had met at the diner across from the station and had met around four in the lobby, hand held tightly in Billy’s. Elle and Hopper had walked in and you immediately noticed that Elevens nose was bleeding. You pulled a napkin from your pocket (you kept tissues in your pocket ever since you learned about her powers), and dabbed the blood away.

“You okay, kid?” You asked, glancing briefly up at you dad.

“She didn’t realize that the door was a pull and not a push.”

“You know your not supposed to get mad when that happens.” You scolded, ruffling her curly hair and following the waiter, boyfriend, and father in tow.

The four of you had sat and ordered your drinks and you began a conversation with Elle. Her and The Party had gone to the arcade, Elle had been a natural and Dungeons Lair, and every time they had gone she beat her previous high score. Lucas was getting more and more pissed by the day because Princess Daphne would, quote, “never be his” (Lucas had collapsed on the couch and had thrown his arm over her eyes). You were pulled out of your conversation by the silence going on with the boys.

Hopper was staring Billy down and it looked as if he was starting to sweat.

Good. Grief.

“I… I told you that he was a little hard to get through to.” You whispered, rubbing his thigh. He grunted and pushed his foot harder on the gas pedal. You got back to the cabin in silence. Billy’s knuckles were white and there was one dried tear track on his cheek. You reached over to wipe it away but he dodged your touch. You sighed and sat back, looking out your window and listening to the soft sound of Madonna on the radio.

You arrived five minutes later at the oak tree and sat in silence.

“That sucked.” You said. You heard a tiny chuckle from your boyfriend and you followed suit. The chuckles turned into giggles which turned into cackles which turned into belly laughs which ended in the silent laugh (the kind that makes you look like a seal).

“Thanks for that.” He said, wiping tears from his eyes and looking at you. “You’re so good.” He mumbled.

“Okay lover boy. I’m gonna go an face the wrath of daddy dearest.” You mumbled, leaning over the center console and kissing him hard on the mouth. You left the car and turned and waved until he was out of sight. You groaned, stomped your foot, and marched to the cabin.

Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh I'm gonna keep my baby, mmm…

“The boy you’ve been seeing the Billy Hargrove? What was going through your mind when you even considered him to be a part of your life?” Your dad screamed from the kitchen. He had discarded his belt and threw it across the room as soon as you had walked in.

“I thought that he treated me well and that he deserved a chance.” You growled from the doorway while shucking your boots. You tore off Billy’s Tigers bomber jacket and draped it over the couch. “Who did you think it was?”

“I thought it was Steve. You know, best friend Steve? Steve who nearly worships the ground you walk on? Yeah, that Steve,” He glared and pointed a finger at you.

“Steve will never be more thinly best friend, Dad! I don’t get how you don’t understand that!” You stormed up to him and matched his angry gaze.

“He’s a bad man, Y/N. I don't get how much you don't understand that!” He retaliated, turning to pace throughout the cabin.

“Sure, he's had a shitty past, but people change dad! Two years ago you wouldn’t have even looked twice at any of those kids or Joyce! Not even me! You certainly wouldn’t have taken in Eleven or I.”

“Don't you dare bring her into this.” He growled.

“No, I have to dad! Because you two are my family! Mom doesn’t want me anymore and now you and Eleven are my family, and guess what, Dad? Billy is my family now too. He’s my future.” Your voice croaked, and you let the tears break over your lashes. “He’s gonna be around for a while. And you’re going to have to deal with that.” There was a long pause before you had watched him walk over to the fridge and grab a beer. You scoffed and climbed up the stairs to your loft room and laid on the bed Joyce had given you.

Good fucking grief.

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mst3kproject · 7 years

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K18: The Million Eyes of Su-Muru

I've never seen this one as an episode, mostly because I can't find the damn thing, even on YouTube. The Wiki has a capture of the title card, but it looks terrible – I did my best to clean it up in photoshop, but the result was still so ugly that I didn't want it on my blog. Instead of the MST3K version with the English title and the silhouettes, you guys get this one captured from a bootleg copy with the German title: Sumuru – die Tochter des Satans.

The dastardly Su-Muru has a plan! I'm... not totally sure what that plan is. It might involve having her agents marry the most powerful men in the world so they can run everything behind the scenes, or she might just plan to kill all the men and continue the human race by cloning. I guess one could be a stop on the way to the other. Her plan does not appear to involve freezing the world's oceans, so at least she's more practical than Fu Manchu. However she gets there, the desired end result will be “a world of peace and beauty, ruled by women.” Given that men have had thousands of years to rule the world and this place is still a fucking mess, she might actually have something there.

However, she has reckoned without smug jerk Nick West and his idiot friend Tommy Carter. They are drawn into Su-Muru's web of deceit through a ridiculously convoluted series of events that end in West being taken to her private island near Hong Kong and blackmailed into facilitating the assassination of the lecherous Boong, President of Sino-Asia – I didn't write the movie, okay? The assassin chickens out and escapes, leaving West to take the blame for her failure. His only hope is that Carter can bring the military in for an all-out assault on Su-Muru's fortress of evil. Or for one of the women to decide she'd rather fuck him before she kills him. Or for a volcanic eruption. How about all three? All three is good!

The tone of this movie is really weird. Su-Muru and her followers seem to behave as if they're in a serious movie, even if some of what's going on – like their petrification guns – is ridiculous. West and Carter, on the other hand, apear to think they're in a comedy, even when they're finding a corpse in their hotel room. Both men crack jokes that occasionally poke at the fourth wall, to the point where the Wiki claims Joel had to chastise the film for riffing itself. It all feels like the guys aren't taking the threat to world security very seriously, and makes it very hard to be interested in their fates when they're so flippant about everything. The Million Eyes of Su-Muru really needed to pick a genre, either spy thriller or self-aware comedy, and stick to it.

It also needed to pick a plot. It was quite difficult to write that summary, because most of the time I had very little idea what was going on. The movie was written by Sax Rohmer and produced by Harry Allen Towers, just like The Castle of Fu Manchu... was confusion just a feature of one or the other's work, or of both in concert? The entire first half of the story seems completely irrelevant to what eventually turns out to be the main conflict, and a lot of it has nothing to do even with anything else in the first half. Take the opening, for example, in which the heirs of the 'richest man in the world' are killed at their father's funeral. What's that got to do with anything? Nothing at all.

What about the bikini girl who gets drowned on the beach? She must be the one Su-Muru was talking about in the previous scene, who has been blacklisted by the sisterhood for falling in love with a man. Is she the same person as Colonel Medika's murdered secretary? Neither he nor President Boong seem particularly upset about her death – Medika talks about it mostly in terms of the threat he believes it represents to Boong himself. If either of them had been her lover, surely they'd show more grief. Maybe she wasn't the same person... but in that case, why were we shown her murder if it's not related to what we see later?

Then we finally get something reasonably relevant, as West follows the ambulance that has kidnapped Colonel Medika. Su-Muru's agents at the hospital try to drug and kidnap West as well, but he gets rescued off-screen and we learn almost nothing from the entire incident. There's no sense of this all figuring into somebody's master plan. It's more as if the movie has two or three false starts before it finally figures out that it's going to be about the assassination attempt on Boong.

But who, exactly, is President Boong? Su-Muru wants him dead because he's a womanizer who goes through girls like he goes through cigarettes, never keeping a single one around long enough to let her influence him. That actually makes more sense than most things in this movie, but we don't know anything much about Boong or his imaginary country, so his life or death don't mean anything to us. You'd think we would at least find out what his policies are, since that's what would matter to Su-Muru, but we don’t. I'm honestly not even sure if we're supposed to like him – I think he's supposed to be 'charmingly eccentric in a foreigny kind of way' but the way Klaus Kinski plays him teeters on the edge of 'camp gay'.

I'm also somewhat confused about whether Boong and Su-Maru are supposed to be East Asian. Boong is played by a German actor in some kind of unflattering brown makeup, while Su-Muru is blue-eyed Shirley Eaton without even that. I started to write something here about how 'Su-Muru' is probably not her real name anyway, but then I realized I was thinking about this way harder than the stupid movie deserves. As in Castle of Fu Manchu, the plot would have been racist regardless of the casting, so it's probably not worth the headache.

If we're gonna talk about actors and characters, we have to come eventually to our so-called hero, Nick West. Apparently no matter what movie George Nader was in, he always played the same oily misogynist. Roy in Robot Monster? “You're so bossy you ought to be milked before you go home at night!” Glenn in The Human Duplicators? “Here's one I wouldn't mind having under surveillance!” And now here he is in The Million Eyes of Su-Muru. “I'll take twelve of each!” Was he just typecast that way, or was he actually a smarmy asshole in real life?

While Boong is played kind of gay, George Nader actually was gay, which you'd think would be an advantage when trying to take down a female supervillain who works by seduction. Too bad The Million Eyes of Su-Muru portrays a world in which heterosexuality is the only option. In a movie so steeped in the male gaze you might expect there to be a few hints of lesbianism even if only for eye candy, but there's nothing. Su-Muru monologues about how woman's only weakness is her susceptibility to falling in love with men. Another woman claims she cannot resist 'the physical presence of a man' and apparently she means it, because despite the fact that she caught West sneaking into Su-Muru's compound, she makes out with him rather than shooting him or turning him in. I think that's supposed to be a joke, but I'm not so certain about the bit where Su-Muru also has sex with West, and claims that as a woman she needs to be dominated.

All this implies that a woman's instinct is to bow to male authority, at least sexually, and that they are incapable of resisting the temptation to do so when it is offered. On more than one occasion West or Carter's life is saved when a woman who hasn't seen a man in months just can't keep herself from jumping his bones before killing him. Imagine the trouble Su-Muru could have saved herself if she'd just issued vibrators to her all-woman army! This also, of course, makes the women out to be indiscriminate, willing to sleep with any man they come across – but I'm gonna give the movie a pass on that because all the men are the same way. West, Carter, and Boong each have multiple partners over the course of the story, and all are willing to sleep with women they know are their enemies, because boobies.

I have to say, for living on an island where there are no men, Su-Muru's agents sure wear a lot of sexy miniskirts and midriff-baring blouses, and devote an awful lot of time to sultry smoking and lounging around. Their initiation ritual requires the new recruit to be topless, and the traits that make one eligible to join include youth, beauty, and health, which are all listed before a vague reference to 'giftedness'. Some of the women must be brilliant scientists, to create things like those petrification darts, but even they appear to have had their looks taken into consideration. That's why I described this movie as 'steeped in the male gaze'. Sax Rohmer did not bother to think about how women would conduct themselves as they plotted to take over the world in an environment with no men (I'm guessing there would be way more pajama pants and way less shaving), only how they could look totally hot while doing it.

I guess this movie isn't quite as bad as The Castle of Fu Manchu. I still don't know what the characters want or what's going on, really, but I'm not actually angry at it for wasting my time... maybe that's just because my standards are getting lower. The Castle of Fu Manchu kind of felt like somebody wrote an outline and they just made the details up as they went along. The Million Eyes of Su-Muru comes across as slightly more polished, as if it got to the 'first draft' stage but nobody ever went back and made sure the beginning fit in with the rest; it still sucks, but at least it did more preparation. I guess that's gotta count for something.

#mst3k #reviews #the million eyes of sumuru #60s

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