#and i will never forgive writers for how shitty they made me feel about my beloved ship becoming an actual canon

[answer2jeff]

the fatherhood theory:

my take on lip gallagher finding purpose in parenthood.

First things first, I quickly want to congratulate the writers for beautifully articulating the accuracy of Lip's initial reaction to Freddy's birth.

Tami had an extremely complicated birth that resulted in her requiring surgery. Lip, both as a new father and as a boyfriend, was legitimately terrified. He couldn't decide if he should stay with Tami or their son. His thought process probably included the possibility of the mother of his child suffering, further trailing to the fear of fatherly absence. Naturally, considering Lip's lack of a genuine father figure, contributing anything remotely resembling neglect or failure to accommodate to his son feels like the worst and most unforgivable thing he could ever do.

Secondly, I want to say that although Tami is quite different compared to Lip's other love interests, I think she was relatively realistic at the time. She has drive and compassion, and Lip loves a good sarcastic girl who affectionately ridicules the guy she loves. She's abrasive in a way that is more meant to establish her intelligence rather than actually put others around her down. Tami is also terrible at accepting criticism, but doesn't respond in the explosive anger that Lip does. She's more passive aggressive than, well...aggressive aggressive. Even though it's not quite the healthiest, it's much more flexible than rage.

In short, Lip sees a lot of himself in Tami. But, she's a more put together, determined version of him. She's the star that Lip never really turned out to be, even if she's not absolutely perfect. Their relationship is accurate for the conditions of the show (and Lip's life.) Tami doesn't give Lip a lot of opportunities to self sabotage because she's pretty much dubbed herself the lead of their relationship.

(not ignoring the fact that she said he'd be a shitty father by the way. that crushed my soul and i'll never forgive her but that's besides the point.)

Having to decide to let professionals (doctors and nurses, who he notoriously does not trust (rooted by capitalistic healthcare environments and the need for independence due to his childhood trauma), try their best to help Tami when she was literally blue and unresponsive, was difficult and extremely scary.

However, once Freddy has been properly cleaned and prepared to be held by his father, Lip suddenly finds the answer to so many of his interpersonal questions.

"I seem to have ruined everything I was once good at. Is there anything I won't automatically ruin just because I don't think I deserve it?"

Fatherhood.

"Would I be any better at this than my parents were?"

Yes, with practice.

"Would I be able to break the cycle?"

Yes, with love.

"Is it necessary for me to feel so deeply about the world?

Yes. Even if it's painful.

"And was it ever worth hiding that with anger?"

To some extent, yes. You wanted to protect yourself.

"Am I, deep down, past my inevitable quickness to rage, a good person?"

Yes. You always have been.

In hindsight, his excitement for becoming a dad seems kind of obvious considering his overjoyed and emotional reaction. But I think we can dig deeper beyond this surface level impression. Even if it's genuine and ultimately very good at showing Lip's love for his son. Something that I think really prepared Lip for the complications of parenthood was the time period during his time as a college student taking care of Liam.

He'd been surrounded by family members for his entire life that he did not trust. When Fiona, his beacon of support throughout his whole childhoo despite their complicated sibling relationship, made such a grave mistake that reflected neglect, Lip felt unsafe. Both Frank and Monica were typical offenders of drug and alcohol abuse. And they regularly dabbled in allowing these substance issues to affect their children.

Now there was really nobody in his family he could trust. Lip would have to re-learn how to fend for himself and his family. He's had plenty of experience, but he had a support system. Even if it contained his own siblings who lived the same abusive life as he did. But now that he didn't trust anyone around Liam, he literally had to become his primary caregiver.

"You're the closest thing to a dad we've ever had," said Ian Gallagher.

Becoming Freddy's father was the love that Lip needed in his life. Girlfriends are replaceable. Lip has proven this. But he always believed that once you become a father, you do not have the right to back out. And he'd always hold himself to that standard.

This is your life now. Do it right, or go to hell.

People like Lip need to have people in their lives who unconditionally rely on them. His siblings have chosen many times (and rightfully of course) to handle personal matters without Lip's advice. He hasn't gotten to feel as needed or as important as he deserved to be. Having a child, though unexpected, was the missing piece to the endless puzzle that was his life's purpose.

Lip's desire to be a good father not only stemmed from the failure of his own parents, but the fact that guiding his siblings through life was the one thing that everyone around him that everyone was convinced he couldn't do better than anyone else. (Personally, I think Fiona did a great job as an older sister. I'm more speaking from the perspectives and opinions of his siblings.)

Lip will feel love for himself through Teddy. Once he can finally succeed for the long term, he will find peace.

Not to say that he's automatically perfect, because he's not (and no one else is), but he's ready to take on the challange.

Freddy is the love of Lip's life.

And he always will be.

#lip gallagher #dad!lip #jeremy allen white #shameless #freddy gallagher #tami tamietti #shamless us #fiona gallagher #ian gallagher #the gallaghers #the fatherhood theory #i love him your honor #he's gonna be a great dad #i'm so proud of him AND tami.

[bohemian-nights]

It will forever irk me how some people blame Laena for Daemon’s “unhappiness” in Pentos. Let’s be for real here, it was COMPLETELY his fault why they were still in Pentos. I doubt Laena would have denied Daemon the idea of returning to Westeros; she was the one who wanted to go back to driftmark in the first place. Any unhappiness Daemon had was his own fault and no one but him can be blamed (maybe viserys too but that’s another thing). Everyone who is like “poor baby, he was just longing for Rhaenyra…” blah, blah, blah - just makes me sooo heated!! Laena was right there, they need to stop acting as if she was just this means to an end. I know she’s a fictional character but it still angers me to see how minimalized she is by the fandom (especially when they race-bent her and changed the important relationships in her life - that’s one of the reasons why I say that the book is the only canon canon universe, not the show). The racism this fandom has is so crystal clear, but then everyone is all “stop making it about race”, like that’s exactly what you are doing 😭 why can’t I be upset about it?? I doubt anyone would act the way they do if Laena was white and it hurts to even admit that!

No one should sympathize with daemon in ep6, he was being a shitty person and incredibly selfish, in my opinion. (I know you love him and I’m sorry to bash him, but I know you also see his faults unlike a lot of other Daemon stans, so I hope you can understand me on this). Laena was more patient and forgiving than she should have been, I would’ve liked her to call him out instead of whatever bullshit the writers decided on. Laena was not a shy or docile person, she was brave and fierce, that’s literally canon, and the writers shouldn’t have excluded that.

And don’t even get me started on how icky this deleted script makes me feel: https://www.tumblr.com/darksvster/744315340102762496/excerpts-from-the-house-of-the-dragon . “I loved him well.” But then when Rhaenyra asks Daemon if he loved Laena, THE NIGHT OF HER FUNERAL, he says “we were happy enough.” Shut the fuck up, Daemon! 🙄

I don’t personally think Laena and Daemon’s entire marriage (in the show) was an unhappy one, but it was in such poor taste that they made their scenes the way they did in show ‘canon.’ Laena did not deserve to be shown as unhappy, certainly not right before she died. I’ll never stop saying that she deserved better because she really really did. And that’s another reason why I’m writing my fix-it fanfic for her. I just want her to be happy in the end 🫠

Thank you for reading this incredibly messy rant. I hope you don’t hate me for this lmao.

That’s nothing, but cope cause these walking napkins once again forgot about chokegate.

By their own logic Daemon must have been on the verge of jumping off a cliff with Rhaenyra cause no matter how miserable he was with Laena he never laid a hand on her or abandoned her when she was giving birth to their children🙃

He’s literally always 0.2 seconds from sending Missy Anne to join Gollum. If he truly was longing for her like that he wouldn’t even think of laying a hand on her.

Lol, jokes aside, no way he was completely miserable with Laena and she definitely didn’t make him miserable. If anything she calmed his psycho ass down. The man wasn’t miserable because of her(he was just missing the walking corpse he called a brother). That was the most stable time in his life. Which isn’t saying much, but it is what is even if they don’t want to admit that.

You know what he would’ve done if he was actually miserable, wanted Missy Anne, or wanted out of his marriage? He would’ve broken out the good old divorce rock🪨

We are talking about a man who does what he wants with no impunity. He has no qualms about killing family or abusing/murdering his wives.

He could’ve easily killed Laena(especially while she was in labor), but he didn’t do that. He wanted to be with Laena(which is why he married her even though Miss Maegor was begging him to choose her back in episode 5). For all intents and purposes he was content with the means to an end.

Yeah they are all fictional, but these are people are blending real life with fiction cause it’s clear that the main reason why they keep saying this crap is because Laena was made Blackish. These Karen’s refuse to relate to Black(ish) woman on any level so they now are hyping up their titanic ship because Missy Anne is white and blonde.

Real talk, I don’t even think most of them actually care about Missy Anne as a character. She’s just a mascot cause they want to ride Daemon’s dick(no judgements cause Miss Maegor is lame, and Daemon is hot, but they need to be honest about it. I’d never ship something where my fave is being beaten upside her head by her man).

Now Daemon and Laena’s marriage was far far far from perfect in the show. He was not the best husband to her. She definitely deserved better than what he gave her, but they really are trying it when he keeps going Ike Turner on their self insert.

Yes, Laena dies and she’s a minor character, but she does have an impact on the story and on Daemon’s arc. They won’t admit that though because they actively trying to limit her impact.

(See how they keep trying to associate her girls with Daemon as Miss Maegor’s daughters cause the queen of flops gave birth to a lizard instead of a daughter “who looks like” Daemon to replace the half-breeds).

And even though they took away her fire in the show and made her into some poor helpless unloved woman(aka a stereotype), she still made an impact because if she was truly a bump in the road they would’ve stopped talking about her as soon as she offed herself.

The bar is in hell yes, but they need to recognize where they stand.

Honestly this whole discourse is once again pathetic and riddled with Casper the unfriendly ghost sociopaths being butthurt that their ship is pathetic.

They have to use headcanons to prop it up cause the books make it clear Laena was Daemon’s most beloved wife and Valyrian Karen was abandoned for Nettles(let’s not get into that cause she sends the methheads into a rage) while the show has him beating their self insert black and blue.

No one is trying to make this about race, but when you have people calling fictional characters the n-word, comparing them to monkeys, saying it’s okay to cut a Black character because there are too many Black people on the show, saying that it’s a shame Daemon doesn’t have any daughters he can relate to cause the ones he has aren’t white, and saying that it’s a determintal character trait to have Daemon sleep with Black women, well how else are we supposed to view it?

This doesn’t even cover half the demented crap they’ve said and we aren’t even getting into how they start gang stalking you, and trying to gaslight you into believing their lies, when you call them out on the bullshit.

Someone who isn’t racist would say those things. You can dislike a character or characters, but when you base your hate on racism, well congratulations! You’re a racist!

It’s so frustrating dealing with this fandom because any time you point out the obvious misogynoir you become the bad guy, the hater, the bitch, whatever. People only like you when you don’t rock the boat(aka don’t say anything about this because you’re bringing down the vibes), but how are you supposed to turn the other cheek when you see that?

The moment Laena became Black she became worthless to this fandom and the showrunners, to the point where they are only comfortable with her fitting into a stereotype.

Well now we are both ranting so I think we are even 🤣 I do love Daemon, but I love to drag him when he does wrong(I love my girls more than him so he’s in the doghouse. Book!Daemon would be ashamed of show!Daemon). Thank God fanfiction exists(and the books). Can’t wait to read yours. I’ll be updating mines this weekend)🙌🏽

#bnasks #bnask #my rants #shitty dragon show discourse #🌊 #laena velaryon #she deserved better #daemon targaryen x laena Velaryon

[muzanswaifu]

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask (Answered)

I"m not even gonna wait for anyone to ask bcuz this bitch is gonna answer them NOW

I wait for no one 😤

Keep reading if you wanna see my answers!

I nominate @xxsabitoxx, @magoliaomega, @yurmomsawh0r, and all my other writer moots to answer all these as well, CUZ I WANNA KNOW WAT YALL HAVE TO SAY

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

All of my old Doushino fics lmao, I like the base storyline I did for all of them, but my writing was so shitty back then and I cringe looking back at them now. Ireally really wish I could just rewrite them but Ik some people would literally shit their pants if i deleted them so im stuck

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I have a kink for apology/angst scenes haha, if couldn't already tell from my past works. It's just something that I feel everyone thrives for, especially myself, where the love interest apologizes for all their wrong doings and admits that they long for yn's forgiveness and love. Mama is a heart throb

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Any scene with shinobu in my Gamer Giyu fic "The Perfect Date". I tried to make her as funny as possible in that one, and believe me, there were plenty more funny moments of her in my draft for that fic that I ended up having to cut out bcuz I felt it drew away from the plot too much. Oh how I wish to make a fic just for her lol

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

I like to make the love interests assholes sometimes, just to piss you guys off hehe, everytime they do something shitty that makes you hella sad, just know that it was me 😈

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

I don't unfortunately, I kinda just go read over it myself a couple times to check for mistakes but thats pretty much it. Ngl lie though, I am kinda interested in having someone else proofread for spelling mistakes and plot holes, any takers 👀 preferrably someone who's talented with that sort of thing haha

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I always enjoy a good simile and metaphor here and there, not really sure about themes... love at first sight maybe? enemies to lovers? tsundere? I like sad fics as well that have happy endings, I will never, ever do a completely sad ending, i just don't like them and they leave a bad taste in my mouth

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Dog, I dont even knooooooooooow, i think all of my fics are pretty straight forward and tame. Maybe Regrettable? All of my super crazy fics are still in production so we'll just wait and see, but for drafts rn, my "No Escape" (Sanemi x Reader) series is gonna be hella crazy, so just you wait

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

My fav thing about my writing is probably my dialogue, i think I write pretty appropriate dialogue. I try my damn hardest not to make the characters cringe and to make them relatable so I hope I've done a good job with that

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

Ngl, I kinda hate them. Kissing is nice and all but i write smut yall, i got bigger things to worry about than smooching. Now virginity loss fics are a whole nother story, bcuz i can actually make it enjoyable unlike real life 😭 Shitty first time gang arise ✊

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Nope, I bask in silence, maybe some white noise in the background sometimes? Music distracts me too much

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

I use my notes app on my phone to make my outlines, google for thesaurus, and an online word counter for the final word count

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Yup, for those who remember, I was working on a fic called Night and Day about Kyo x stepsister reader who was living with him. Originally I had him as a yandere, obsessive person with reader being uninterested in him and the fic being non-con, but I ended up scrapping the whole thing and changing it to be a fluff fic with reader living with kyo, reader having a crush on him, and slowly the two grow closer, with tons and tons of angst and sadness. The original outline for the non-con fic is on my patreon if anyone would like to see the poor thing, it had 8 chapters outlined too haha. what a waste.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Only 1 ☝️ I'm pretty sure i've mention her before, my friend sam? We used to read a ton of fanfics and watch anime growing up so she's the only person i've ever told since she understands the field, and i am never gonna tell anyone else 😭I would literally die, my group at college doesn't even watch anime

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Either Perfect Date or Regrettable

🍷 Do you drink and write?

Hehe no, I do smoke and write sometimes though

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

My Little One if I remember correctly

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I usually like to write at night after I've finished all of my hw, right before bedtime :)

💖 What made you start writing?

I had a ton of idea for fics but didn't want to spend my days requesting all of them so I just wrote them myself, I write so much shit already for school, so I just said fuck it, lets ball

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

I thrive off of them ❤️‍🔥 I frame every single comment on my wall ngl

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Cheating. Not sure if thats a trope but i kinda feel it is in some fics where reader or love interest cheats, the one who got cheated on gets revenge sex with another party, and then they get back together. I just hate it and it hurts my feeling and turns me off

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

Of course! After I finish all of my requests I'm gonna get that started hopefully and use the money to buy hot figurines 🥵

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Sometimes, it depends on the fic. I usually just look up time period stuff so that things are close to accurate

🏆 What's your most popular fic?

My Little One

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

I love halloween fics, they are scarily hot

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

YUP, @magoliaomega has perfectly written part 2 for two of my fics, reading her gifts is so eerie bcuz they were exactly wat i would've wanted for the sequel and I love her for for it, she is literally god

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

I've never gotten any but I would love to, fan art is awesome

📈 How many fics do you have?

Uhhhh like 20 I think?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I usually outline but I'm kinda thinking ab stopping bcuz my best fics were written without any preparations so well see.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Girl Imma talk about I'm Yours, my upcoming series ab alpha kyo and omega fem reader. I am sosososoosososossosos excited for this one yall have no idea. I've already mapped out the chapters and plot and everything. Im currently working on chapter two and just cant wait to get this shit done so i can post everything. I'm just excited to add to the very small pile of kny omegaverse fics and hopefully the series will inspire more abo creations for demon slayer. Another work I'm excited ab is a collab im doing with a fellow bestie 😏 I wont name any names or say wat the fic is ab but hopefully well get the fic done sometime next year, really excited to work with her on this!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I would start off with headcannons, then short scenes, then one-shots, then multi-chapter. I went backwords from this list and i wish i didnt haha. theres nothing wrong with doing it out of that order of course, I just think its the best way to build up skill and get a hang of things. Also dont be afraid to take breaks! burning urself out will lead to depression babes

💞 Who's your comfort character?

Shinobu ❤️ she was the first girl I wrote for in demon slayer and she's always held a special place in my heart

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

Can't really answer this one lmaoooooo, so ill choose a random headcannon I have, Shizu taught Sanemi how to cook and he always helped her make meals for the family

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

Kyojuro, my love. He is so pure, I wanna suck the soul outta him

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Mitsuri was obviously upset.

One day was fine. Two was pushing it. Three was a little concerning. Four was a lite search. Five was thorough detective work. And six was a breakdown. By day seven, today, she was still bawling in her pillow, wondering where-oh-where you’d gone. 

Meanwhile, you hardly had time to worry about your concerning absence with a dragon on you at all times of the day. During the rare moments you weren’t getting knotted or eaten out, you were getting bathed, fed, or hushed to sleep. Similar to Kanroji, you too were sobbing into your bedding - but your reason being your cunt getting ravaged hourly. The pleasure was still incredibly mind-blowing, but your pussy was so fucked raw and puffy that you were sore beyond belief from the mating session. You had misunderstood that section in the book. You’d thought a week-long initial rut meant only occasional couplings, like a sort of honeymoon phase.Nope. Every waking moment was spent hanging off his knot and getting filled to the brim with his seed. Hereallywanted babies. And he was likely going to get them, even if it wasn’t your fertile week. You doubted his sperm would take no for an answer, honestly...

“Are you tired, my love?”

You moaned as he pulled on the lock and replied in a cracked voice. “Ye-eess.”

With one more tug, his knot was pulled free. You came painfully one final time before a flood of spunk gushed down your legs. Kyojuro flipped you over to your back and set you down onto the part of the nest that wasn’t caked in sin.

He kissed your forehead as you panted. “Our rut is done, little one. You did wonderfully, I’m so proud - you may rest now,” he whispered and laid next to you. You sighed and groaned, “Finaallyyyy.” He chuckled.

“Tomorrow we will bring your things here and anything else you may need. Your friends and family will understand, I’m sure.” You eyes shot open and you remembered them.

“Oh my god!”

Lil snippet from My Sweet Kitten (Mitsuri x Dragon Iguro) My Little One Part 2 hehe

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Any of my non-con lmao, I think they would kill me tbh, but I heard that kinks were hereditary so this is their fault

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

If people ask for a part 2, even though I wont write one hehe

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Breeding kink, I have needs. Also pet names (baby, sweetheart, my love, darling, princess, ect)

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

Maybe as a side career, I'm not getting a degree in my field of study just to write smut all day lmaooo, i enjoy having writing as my hobby and dont want to have it bare the burden of being my main source of income, it would stress me too much

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

It depends honestly, if I'm really inspired and horny, it takes less time. My Little One took me only 3 days to write cuz i was so pent up haha, requests take longer tho bc i have a specific plot and terms to stick to, along with anxieties about whether or not the requester will approve wat i've produced, so those usually take me a couple weeks to a month

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Action. That shit is hard. I don't think i could ever write a fight scene ever

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Not the ones i have currently but the ones i have in the works are extremely heartbreaking, i cried a little writing some of them

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

It depends on the type of criticism. I appreciate it if its about errors in my writing since i still have some growing to do in that department. But there has been some drama ab the things I write ab that people find...distasteful. If you don't like what I write ab, leave, dont waste my time pretending to be a mutual, I write for me not you. Some of yall have some real mean girl mentalities and need to grow tf up, this isn't fucking highschool. Im glad for thei experience tho bcuz it's taught me how to deal with negative people better. On the more constructive side of things tho, if you see errors like plotholes, devices, or grammar in my fics, please tell me! I miss shit sometimes and appreciate the help to better my work

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

#Smut. LMFAOOO

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I looooove reader interactions! I wanna know what people think and what they would like to see next. I also love requests but I've learned that they are harder than they look lmao. I just worry ab disappointing readers sometimes. I want you guys to enjoy it too!

#demon slayer #demon slayer smut #kny #kny smut #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba smut

[charmixpower]

Final thoughts on season 4! I fucking hate it

Random insults about this piece of shit season from off the top of my head:

Why the fuck do the girls keep picking up shitty group jobs?? Teachers, love and pet, then the band???? Your telling me this group of very diverse women who all have very different and clear hobbies likes and dislikes all want to do the same thing all the time??? Are you fucking sure???

The bullshit drama, only Flora/Helia and Aisha/Nabu escaped with a nay stray comment—and that's only because the writers wanted Nabu dead and don't care about Flora and Helia

Rivusa. Like in general. This season nearly made me hate my two favorite characters in this show!! Impressive!!!! They continued degrading Riven's character until he was acting like a sixteen year old again and THAT'S NOT MUSA

Fuck Andy for the band thing, I will never forgive you for this mother fucker!! Also you were useless for the plot of side of stupid fucking drama aND STELLA ENCOURAGING BLOOM TO CHEAT WITH YOU DONT THINK I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT THAT

The wizards of the black circle were boring, they had no fun charisma or stage presence like the Trix or Valtor

The earth fairies weren't given enough time! Them bitches were fun as hell and had a interesting dynamic with the Winx!!!!! Plus they had something that no other antagonist before them had! The ability to be reasoned with!!!! That's so fucking interesting!!! I want more of them dammit

Musa playing "will I, won't I" with Riven and making it blanetly obvious that he was the second choice rebound. Girl if you don't fucking like him, which you clearly don't, break the fuck up and say that shit with ya chest—why do you keep pulling this hot and cold thing, I'm so lost

Nabu being the most annoying mouth piece for the writers. When Riven tried to express how he was feeling instead of bottling it up, which he did do before the Jason thing, Nabu guilt tripped him and recentered everything on Musa! Like Riven can still be wrong and you can listen to his feelings my guy

What ever the FUCK happened to "then suffer in silence" Helia. He has soft boy enegry now and it makes me break out in hives

Riven immediately after the break up genuinely acting like his s1 self...you can just say you hate Riven show, you don't need to do this. They destroyed all his comrade and willingness to work in a group because he cares about the people in the group, and for what?????

Stella becoming stupid. Stella was a book dumb, emotionally and fashion intelligent ditz with loyalty and determination in spades. She complained but not this much guys!! Stella would buckle down when she needed too, prefers to handle things by joking about them

Bloom contracting main characteritius and steam rolling Musa's dream and Aisha's revenge, while being a huge fucking hypocrite. Bloomy I am so sorry that this ugly ass bitch—

Believix is the beginning of the samey transformations, they just weren't as bold about it

The fashion in this season is offence to me! It's cute like out of context but so many outfits are completely out of character and it drives me crazy

The winx are now famous bc duh and Valtor, not a single mention about how the whole magic dimension knowing their name affects them at all outside of autographs at Alfea

Love and pet, it was useless and a dumb idea and why the FUCK would they start a pet shop??? Do they even all like animals???? You mean to tell me Stella agreed to this???

Each of the girls having their own fairy pet that will never be seen again after this season. Why are they even there

Mitzi v Stella. The whole fake Fairies thing was VERY FUN, but if the earth fairies were introduced sooner then I would even need a fake one—it just fucking sucks that some really fun moments are connected to Stella being jealous over fucking Mitzi of all people. Mitzi wears fucking beige, Stella would never

The fact that the Roxy Bloom parallel isn't explored! It's implied but nothing interesting is ever done with it!!

The lack of screen time for Aurora!!!! And Lovix!!!!! I want to see them FIGHT

The boring as hell fights. In s1 and 3 they were fighting army's, and now they can't handle small fights??? Really???

The immature tone of the whole season then suddenly smashing into Nabu dying like this season earned it. S2 and the stupid fucking pixies had a more universally darker tone that earned it's character death, and it kept this dark time despite reviving both Riven and Sky! It's like s4 was trying to be s2 but was playing a game of telephone with a blackout alcoholic about the important parts

Jason McQueen, who looks to be late 20's early 30's, flirts with a 19 year old girl that hasn't finished mental puberty who will soon be under his employ. If this man wasn't setting Musa up for abuse of power idk what the fuck he was doing, AND NO ONE MENTIONS HOW FUCKING CREEPY HE IS!!! HES SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD THING AHHHHHHH

The Believix powers are super creepy, they just mind control people into acting right—remind me to never argue infront of Tecna

Have I mentioned my desire to push both Musa and Riven off a cliff??? Bc I thought about that multiple times while watching this season. Bloom and Stella can join them

No mention on how fairies being on earth affects humans

The Believix wings and the hand out fairies. The Believix wings were dumb, but the hand out fairies made everything so fucking boring man

Nabu gets fridged, by Orgon's ugly ass too. This show has managed to be dark without permanently getting rid of a member of the main cast, and due to the shitty writing of this season they had to fall back on permanently ridding of Nabu

During parts of s1-3 I could forget I was watching a kids show bc I was so enraptured, s4 won't ever let me forget

Stella, Flora, Aisha, and Tecna all giving up on their dreams to live Musa's. Because Stella obviously wanted to be a guitarist and not a fashion designer like she said all of s1-3 jfc

Flora and Diana not getting the boss battle they deserve

Why were Sibylla's fairies weird sayter things??? Aren't they supposed to be earth fairies???? I'm not even mad they're like that I just want an explanation

Flora not getting enough screen time in general

Nebula should of been allowed to fight Tecna too, I think they're similar and strong personalities would of made for an amazing dynamic and Nebula just deserved more fights in general. This show honest to God wasted time on some four boring ass goth bitches with no motivation outside of murder, when we could of had Nebula going crazy for all of s4 as the main antagonist

Neither Roxy or Bloom pulling the "I WAS RAISED BY HUMANS, DIPSHIT!" line on Nebula, what the fuck was she expecting

Morgana wanting to kill humans but being in love with one is never explained. I think Moragana should of been the extreme passive counterpart to Nebula, who took power years ago

The fact that Aisha's joining of the revenge fairies barely lasting any time. I think Tecna would of been a better choice for this (change Nabu dying to Timmy I guess) bc Tecna was always shown to be agressive first vs Aisha being passive until forces persuade her to be agressive. Tecna and Nebula would have a terrifying dynamic too! Tecna would of been a much scarier commander of the earth fairies, and been harder to convince, AND it would of given her an arc that isn't the same "Tecna learns to express herself" and it would give poor fucking Aisha a break. She was blinded last season, and nearly murdered before that. LET THE GIRL REST

The Winx choosing to stay on earth for some fucked up reason that I hate and don't understand. Earth was fun, we can leave now

Aisha not being allowed to drop Orgon. Cowards

Musa's and Bloom's civilian outfits. Musa would never and Bloom hurts my eyes. If there is nothing else you remember about me it's that I fucking hate Musa's s4 outfit so fucking much

The near constant shitting on Enchantix in the beginning of the season. Put some respect on her name

The weird drama between the guys and girls because the girls suddenly have egos the side of Riven's when he was a villain

Believix in general, form the way it was introduced to the way it is was earned

Stella and Brandon not being the best and most healthy couple, I call bullshit

The sheer amount of dick sucking that Believix gets. You will never be Enchantix

The fact that they still have fairy dust and never use it

Stella being a bitter single bitch at Aisha for no fucking reason

Morgana is fucking boring and only exists to have a reason Roxy is special

The fact that the Winx accepted Orgon's surrender after they were hunting down and trying to murder Roxy

The destruction of Nabu's weird personality to make him the perfect victim, and the warping of Aisha's and his relationship to make his death sadder

The fact that Aisha and Riven never talk or hug or anything when they're both the closest to Nabu! I want them to bond dammit

They guys being happy to work a public service job. Everyone but Riven is being a liar

THATS STILL NOT MUSA MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! WHERE IS MUSA!?!?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU HIDING HER!!!!

Things I liked about season 4:

The lack of magic on earth was set up in s1, and going back to explain that was fucking amazing

Roxy, in general. She's an amazing Bloom analog and if utilized correctly she could of been the perfect book end to Bloom's arc. Tho I wish she was more obviously different from Bloom's story

Fairy on fairy violence, both with the earth fairies and Mitzi. Yesssssss!!!

Stella's designed outfits. They were nearly all fucking wins in the pretty aspect. That's my girl!!!

The earth fairies, all of them and in general. The show only really became fun after they were introduced, before that I was dragging my feet though this nonsense

Nebula. Cool, sexy, as a agenda. Should of been the main antagonist above Diana and Aurora and I'm right. She has presence and she's nothing like Icy and Valtor. She has her own thing going on, and her redemption could of been so much stronger if she was allowed to go ape shit for longer and have more time for Bloom to convince her to not blindly attack everyone and only attack the people who actually wronged her

Literally all of the cute Tecna moments. This season was the era for cute Tecna along with Tecna Enchantix and I am THRIVING

The dark fairies. Give me more fairy villains, they're so much fucking fun. They'res a vibe to girlie on girlie violence that is so much fun to watch. The girlies are much fun to watch, only Valtor and Riven make it to this level as villains. The rest could be improved by being girlies

Diana. Sexy, powerful, gets bitches, didn't fucking hesitate, is a girlie. Must I go on? She was fucking unhinged and I loved her for it!! Now this is a villain with some STAGE PRESENCE

Sophix and Lovix, Sophix is superior. Like I don't care for it narratively as a sub form of Believix, but I love the designs. If they were additional specialized forms on top of Enchantix I'd have nothing from stopping me form saying I love them

Aurora, ma'am are you single?? I love her soft girl enegry while she also pulled out the most violent and deadly plan between her and Diana. I wish she got a fight like Diana, and was much harder to convince while seeming more reasonable on the surface

Bloom throwing Mitzi and Nebula—Bloom's fairy v fairy fights in general

In conclusion

Season 2 > season 3 > season 1 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> season 4

#winx club #winx season 4 #rus rants #long post #fucking long post #rus chatters

[good-wine-and-cheese]

hey carmen! i hope youre doing well! :D P, G, R, W for the ask game?

I'm doing dandy thanks and thank you for the ask! :)

P. Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Oh fun! Since I'm in Pluto brainland right now and already have a bunch of AUs rattling around about it I'll share one of those. I have in mind this AU where, during the 39th Central Asian War, Gesicht is critically damaged and has to be sent back for repairs by his creator (the damage is too intricate and complex for most field techs to fix him). Hoffman, faced with the visceral consequences of Gesicht being sent to war, takes matters into his own hands and runs off with Gesicht. I just think about how it's probably something Hoffman never wanted to put his creation through but wasn't able to stand up to higher ups at the time. I think faced with the violence and terror of the war coupled with Gesicht returning to him badly damaged would be the catalyst for him to recognize the system for what it is and work to support robots in a more earnest way that maybe requires him to be in hiding.

G. Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

So I don't think I define OTP the same way that most people do. "OTP" to me is just "the ship that is my favourite to think about" I guess, but I will still actively ship those characters individually with other characters, too. That said, my first OTP was McSpirk. 12 year old me took angsty pictures of Spock, Kirk and McCoy (and variations of them together) and made Windows Movie Maker slideshows with them to angsty billy talent and three days grace songs

R. Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Favourite platonic relationships in fandom! That's hard, because tbf I like a lot of them. It's generally my favourite type of relationship between characters. Generally speaking though, any adult-child dynamics that are particularly wholesome (especially when one or both are severely broken people) will destroy me.

On a recent rewatch of Eureka Seven, I found I really appreciated the crew of the Gekko a lot. They're just a bunch of weirdo roommates and the vibe of that whole dynamic was really good to me. As far as platonic relationships in series go they feel very close to how actual people interact with each other so I guess I'll say whatever the crew of the Gekko has going on.

W. A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Normally I'm pretty forgiving with tropes honestly! If it's an annoying trope that happens a lot of times I'll probably skip out, but it's hard for me to say any "specific" trope will make me "hate" it when generally I will give them a 3-strike grace or a "that was funny actually" level of acceptability. I guess I do have one that consistently pisses me off though.

"Shitty sex scenes used in place of character growth" is my biggest fiction pet peeve. It's not sex scenes as a general rule, but in so many shows I've seen the writers will give me absolutely no reason to believe character A and B would fuck (in fact, they usually seem to hate each other and Not in a oh they wanna fuck kinda way), then suddenly they fuck (and it's framed to be as bland as possible) and then after that they're super close meanwhile I have had absolutely nothing shown between them that would lead any of this to feel like it would feasibly have happened. It's bad writing and completely takes me out of the narrative and makes me think about how I would have written character development to get from point A to point B.

Ask game

#ask game #nightshadetq #I have multiple 'Hoffman forsakes the system' AUs its just the natural character progression he takes to me #I want that man to get radicalized

[blooming-violets]

I don't want you to think I'm critical of dancing on her own OK maybe I am but I'm not here to .....make your day worse just give my own two cents I'm glad that peter gets therapy and I'm glad you mention peter is extremely young during all of this it makes me a little bit more empathetic to see his side of the matter and while it's wonderful that our lady character is capable to forgive him despite all this shit he put her through I still don't think she should be romantically involved with him like ever it not that he doesn't deserve her and bla bla (though that is also a very valid point) it not healthy for either of them she has seen him as an escape from her abusive childhood and clung on to the one thing she sees as normal it's quite similar for him to keep her with him because of his abandonment issues maybe there is quite strong love there but is it strong enough to take away the fact that they both view each other as coping mechanisms ? Im also much more optimistic and I like to think if anyone was in th place of the oc would've cut out peter along time ago which is what I wanted for them to go on healing parts separately from one another and find themselves and each other along the way again that's what is my hc for this actually that she views Gabe as the last starw forces him to move out And gets the fuck away from this man whose cut her of from so fucking much just cause he can't stand to have someone else in her life that's so so shitty but then I'm not her I don't even know how I would react if I was put in this situation humans are so weird in this way we are all wired differently while we like to think we want to do something some way we might do the opposite I guess I'm one of those people who like the "but this is the right way to go about things" ending rather than gray ending that don't satisfy me but that's my problem maybe that's what makes this fic so good for me it forces me to confront how I feel about morally Gray characters and complex situations rather than conforming to this good Black and white ending we have something Strange though it is also happy ending just not the one I agree with so yeah....the point of all this is youre a great writer thanks for writing this and I hope peter gets all the therapy he can lives with knowing that he's a very very lucky man cause I would've kicked him out a long time ago. I'm going to go ahead of believing that they never ended up together romantically

Hahaha this made me chuckle because I thought I was bad at rambling, run-on sentences with zero punctuation but I think you have me beat! I need to go reread this line by line because it's so much and I love it. And I'm glad you have your own opinions on it! That's what makes writing fun to me is seeing everyone's different takes and sides and who identifies best with what part. I love discussing my work and other people's work that I love in detail. Sometimes I think too many people just throw out a "this was good!" and then bounce. I want to talk about stuff and hear people's deeper thoughts. Esp for a fic like this, I knew it would potentially be divisive.

When I write, the characters sort of are their own people and I'm just their puppet for them to put their stories on the page. I don't know how else to describe it but I have such a clear picture of who they are, what they do, and why they're doing it that they become their own little entity chillin up in my brain. So when I write, I can say "How would x react to y?" And then they sort of take over from there.

For this particular story, I had two very broken, traumatized people. You hit it perfect by saying they were each other's coping mechanism. She has literally never had another friend in her entire life besides Peter. That is not healthy! None of this relationship is healthy. It starts off with Peter protecting her from bullies, the first and only person in her life to ever stand up for her, so she basically imprints on him as her savior. She views him through rose colored glasses. Even when he's horrible to her, when she looks at him, she only sees that scrappy little boy from the first grade beating her bullies with a stick. She can't separate that image of Peter from the man he's grown up to be.

Peter, on the other hand, is so psychologically broken that he's just as bad (actually, he's worse). He's torn between wanting to always save her but not being able to know how/being too scared of failing/her actually not needing him. He doesn't know how to navigate being a super hero and the deaths that come with that and how to keep up healthy relations. You are absolutely right when you say it's not healthy! It's very much not. His depression also lead him down the path of becoming hardened, bitter, and mean. He emotions are frozen up still.

What's funny is that I don't actually view the ending as happy. It feels almost bittersweet to me. She had been waiting her whole life for Peter to love her how she wants. This is the first time he's expressed that out loud to her. She's been waiting for that kiss for so long that I don't think anything else mattered to her in that moment. She's blinded by her childhood dreams. Peter is blinded by his fear of losing her.

Technically this isn't the "end" also. I mean, it's the end of me writing the story but they would still live on in the fictional universe. I do think that she would lose her virginity to him eventually and I do think he would be really sweet about it. But as for them working out long term, I really don't know. The thing about therapy is that it slowly unveils stuff about yourself that you didn't realize over time. (I also don't think a therapist would encourage this relationship, both hers and his, I think they would tell them to hold off on it). I doubt they will listen, though, because I know these characters. They are going to try before they are ready. They are going to try to force things and I don't exactly see the best outcome for them.

For the ending, it's not exactly happy or a finality of what they will be. It's meant to be hopeful and nudged into the direction of healing but that's where it ends.

The rest is to up to you, my love! Envision their messy attempts at a relationship to fail. Envision her striking up a conversation with Gabe a year into the future and him inviting out to movie. Technically anything that happens after they go back home is up to the reader! It's out of my hands!

Final points because I've rambled far too long, the story wasn't meant to be about what is right but what would happen if you put two messy, traumatized humans together and forced them into different situations. They wouldn't make the right choices because they've never been taught anything different. All she's ever known is Peter so, therefore, all she's ever going to chose is Peter...until she works on that in therapy and, hopefully, finds her own self again and learns how to live without her crutch. For now, they recognize their love for the other, whatever form that takes and, for now, that will have to do because they don't know any other way of living. Bittersweet! Not happy.

Thank you for this ask though. It made me happy that someone could even care enough to feel anger on behalf of a character I wrote and want justice for them. All I want is for people to love the creatures in my head as much as I do.

#asks

[northisnotup]

I’m late!!

But I am still gonna play! Thank you @kelliealtogether for tagging me in the ‘five favourite fics that I've written (for writer appreciation day)’ 

This was the kindest thing you could have tagged me in, because as much as I love my fics when I post them, I tend to have a distorted view of them later on, thinking that my writing must have been so much worse, that I’m sure I fucked up the pacing, etc. But having now gone back and re-read a lot of these, I like them just as much - so much that choosing just 5 is gonna be hard! 

1. Pan Cookies

Oldest first - and also because it’s the only Dragon Age fic I have and tbh I adore it. Short and sweet, Dorian and Sera deserve to bond over shitty parents - the end!

Dragon Age Inquisition, Gen.

This is the story of how Sera and Dorian became crazy, drunken, selfie-olympics bffs. Enjoy. 

2. Kisseltoe

This was a holiday exchange fic that I still think is really stinkin’ cute. Did it have to be this long, or complicated? No! But I thrive on turning simple plots into drawn out character studies.

Overwatch, Cole Cassidy/Hanzo Shimada

Trapped under the mistletoe, Cole has now kissed every person at this party but the one person he actually wants to.

3. Rita’s Blessing

First rule of thieving: Know what your mark wants.

The Penumbra Podcast, Juno Steel/Peter Nureyev

First rule of thieving: Do your own research.

First rule of thieving: Know what you, yourself, want.

What Peter Nureyev wants is to wake up next to Juno Steel every day for the rest of his life. He wants to travel the galaxy at his side, day after day, until death at last parts them. He wants so deeply and with such fervor it weighs on his heart like nothing else, save the ring, which stays always in one of his many pockets, feeling like a star attempting to collapse in on itself.

And that is the problem.

FOR INSTANCE. This was supposed to be a short and sweet exchange fic for a friend. It wasn’t supposed to take as long as it did (the better part of a year) but it did! And tbh - I love it a lot. I’m glad it took that long. I’m glad I met them. I’m glad I wrote this. I genuinely think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever written. 

4. We often confuse what we wish for, with what is

“You just have to hope that betraying one another is not in their self-interests?” Juno misquotes back to him, dry.

The Penumbra Podcast, Juno Steel/Peter Nureyev

“This is not the first partner, team, group or crew I have allied with,” Nureyev finally says, clipped and crisp. Weary and wary and just him in place of where Ransom would already be soliciting Buddy’s forgiveness. “And I’m sure you are all familiar with the...self serving nature of those in our line of work.”

He nods. “Quite. And once the job is complete, it’s not uncommon to look into the face of an ally and see an enemy instead."

Second FOR INSTANCE. This was a fic I never intended to write. As many of my fics start, this came from the want of using one particular line and having to figure out WHERE that line fit. Juno saying ‘oh you’re gonna want to think so carefully about what you say next,’ was living in my brain rent free and I had to find a home for it and so came forth this Murderbot-Leverage-esque story of Peter Nureyev, master thief. 

...crap now I have to choose between Captive Prince and The Raven Cycle. Wait. No I don’t. Fuck it. I’m going rogue!

5. Attend Me

This is just fun, silly, modern day fluff. I like the world I made behind it, but mostly I just wanted to see how they fit together.

Captive Prince, Damen/Laurent

Housebound following an accident, Damen prepares an important dinner.

6. Here with You

The Raven Cycle/The Dreamer Trilogy, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish

When Adam received the invitation to Declan Lynch's wedding, he'd known that seeing Ronan again was going to be difficult.

This is one of those fics that has a huge, sprawling backstory that I have no willpower or time to fully write. However, I think this small snippit gives just enough of a look into what was and what could be and I really like it for that.

Alright! That’s enough self indulgence from me, so I’m gonna pass this off to @sanerontheinside @themarchrabbit @parakeatswrites @audikatia @rabbitdarling @the-prince-of-tides and @blue-mood-blue happy ficcing!!

#fic writer appreciation day #let's keep it going actually #my fics #north's fic writing #the chain emails of the now #captive prince #lamen #tpp #tpp fic #jupeter #pynch #yeehan #selfie Olympics bffs

[myfictionaldreams]

hi! i’m that asshole anon :/

at the time i really was just very upset about the fics! theres so many people who don't care to grow and change, or dont care if it “glamourizes” that behavior. it was for sure a knee jerk reaction. i definitely should have chosen my words better and could've for sure been kinder. I do want to say that while the dynamics weren't good your writing is FANTASTIC!!! ive seen you on ao3 and your work is sincerely really good.

i'm sorry that my (rude) message made you feel bad, i think you are an amazing writer and I appreciate you coming back with a nicer response than I would've. I really do feel bad.

your smut is done really well, and i’m hiding behind the anon wall because at first it was just bc i have a *tiny* following. but now its because i’m so very ashamed at my behavior. i do agree that that was shitty and I don’t deserve any kindness or good will.

i can see that you’re a growing writer and I do understand how much those kind of comments can be. again you are a good writer. i think maybe reading those felt like such a shock and I should’ve handled it better, maybe come to you in private with respect and after cooling down. i only wrote that to you because I wasn’t seeing disclaimers for the ones that i was talking about (on ao3)

i sincerely apologize, I hope that I didn’t make you feel bad or discourage you in any way. I was far too harsh and I understand that we are all human and none of us are perfect. I wanted to explain my feelings, but not excuse my actions. i wish i had a time machine. and i appreciate you as a writer, and when the time comes I hope you can forgive me <3

Hi! firstly sorry for taking a few days to respond my personal life has been very hectic & also needed to think about what/how to say my response.

Right, firstly i really really appreciate you returning and apologising and understanding that way that you worded the message was wrong etc and it’s clear from this message you do feel bad and understand that it was wrong so I do want to thank you for that.

However, I really do want to emphasis how difficult these negative/hateful messages make writers feel. This message or any other hate messages I will always remember, particularly when its feedback for things that aren’t intentinal (such as the bdsm dynamic you referred too). Sometimes writing doesn’t always come across how I wanted to in my mind and doesnt mean that it is written with malicious intent. Furthermore, there are ALWAYS warnings on my writing that I do feel like people just half read and don’t fully take into account. Yes, I could have labelled it further to specify that the reader enjoyed to be punished therefore there was pre-agreed consent but as I said, it was one of my very first fanfics so had a lot to learn still.

Again, I really do appreciate your response because every time I reply to a hateful anon, they never come back and I feel like it wasn’t worth the response in the first place so I’m very happy that you’ve actually read my explanation etc and giving me another chance.

Just for future though, for you or ANYONE going to send a message, always do it with kindness and education in mind. It’s hard to see that you have mentioned that you have enjoyed my other work so you know my writing style and still felt that one fic was glamourising something so negative you felt the need to send me a hurtful and patronising message instead of taking a moment to think ‘oh i like the other fics, this one is a bit different maybe i should message just to clarify’ - instead of what was sent in the first place and just assuming that I’m willing to write abusive fics.

But anyway, all is forgiven because I really hate negativity, I hope you are also doing ok, I do believe you are sorry and regret sending the message so everything is absolutely fine, lessons are learnt on both end of this interaction. Sending peace and love ღღ

#anon #asks*

[showtoonzfan]

A thing I have noticed is that Viv cannot understand how to write likable characters. She makes them the “im14andthisisdeep” characters, such as Blitzo, Stolas, and Angel Dust. Viv does not realize how most people whom are terrible, whom use others for their own gaining, whom turn a blind eye towards their own malicious intent, are not made;they are merely born.

Moxxie is expected to forgive Blitzo after everything he has done and to that I say; fuck no.

Viv does not understand that bad people cannot change over the claiming of “i wuv you!!!!” by a shitty bird. Blitzo does NOT need a redemption, he does not need a single thing but punishments for his actions.

The show clearly wants a ”Forgive, never forget” plotline and I will always show disgust for that usage of tone.

Nobody NEEDS to help Blitzo.

They should want to, not be forced.

Moxxie is forced into a room, tied to a chair behind Blitzo as they talk about their deep rooted issues(Moxxie’s is better in my opinion but whatever).

Rather than the two CHOOSING to talk about privacy and boundaries, they are FORCED Into a room with agents and then have to do an entire fight between others.

Why could they not have just..talked thing’s out? If Blitzo is too blinded by hatred and stupidity to realize they should talk, then there is no point in trying to talk with him, merely leave the company. Yet for some reason;Moxxie does not.

The show likes to pretend Moxxie owes anything to Blitzo, as if he NEEDS to help him, but that is disgusting to teach, You do not owe those whom have hurt you assistance. You do not owe them an explanation. If they did not treat you with basic respect earlier, then there is no reason to give them the time of day.

You do not owe your abusers anything.

Exactly, you’re spitting facts. This is why (and I have said this so many times now so forgive me) wish the show was more like Bojack Horseman. The writers of Bojack knew how to write real characters perfectly, characters who were cruel, manipulative, kind, the list goes on and on, characters that FEEL like real people you’ve met. The characters in Helluva don’t feel real at all, they clearly feel like written characters in fictions by the hands of an edgy girl stuck in the early 2000’s. For example, any logical person like Moxxie would have quit his job ages ago due to Blitz’s harassment, yet he doesn’t because of plot—Oh I man he “cares” about his boss. His shitty boss. And that’s the problem. Viv and Brandon don’t SEE Blitz as an manipulative abuser, they see him as an UwU sad sweet boy who loves his employees in his “own weird way”. In my eyes, they’re never going to fully commit to admitting how horrible Blitz is. He’s an awful person, yet they don’t necessarily see that. Even when they DO admit it, they at the same time want to make us feel bad for him, and yes, that’s what Bojack did, but Bojack at least had a proper flow and told you through storytelling that no matter how much you want to feel bad for this guy, he’s STILL a horrible person who’s responsible for all his actions, someone who slipped down the drain and someone you DON’T want to end up like. With Helluva, and yes even a little bit of Hazbin, (meaning Angel) it doesn’t matter if the characters are downright horrible people you wouldn’t want to be around in real life at all, they’re all Viv’s babies and she’ll continue to shower them in a moral light.

#vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #hazbin hotel critical #anti vivziepop #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #answer #reply #response #my asnwer #my reply #my response

[minetteskvareninova]

Minette watches Medici, part 11 (Obstacles And Opportunities)

- Look, I don’t mind episodes of this show having basic ass titles, but this one is... Just far bellow basic, if you know what I mean.

- A small, but still embarassing correction - there’s no Lucrezia M in this show so far, that was the other sister of Lorenzo the Magnificent, that was married off very young, which is presumably why she’s not in the show. Fahriye-sultan-but-lame is named Bianca.

- My suspicions about Lorenzo being the bestest, smartest, specialest little boy in the writers’ eyes were unfortunately not disproven in the slightest. For Lorenzo, nothing is a problem, he never makes big mistakes and has no major flaws. Like, his Gary Stu status becomes obvious trough comparison to Cosimo, who was allowed to make much bigger mistakes and lose much more badly, making for a more compelling character. And while there were hints of the Medici maintaining the moral high ground over their opponents, this season amps this up to a truly ridiculous degree. I mean, “making Florence a true republic” is an interesting way of putting “becoming a populist autocrat akin to Julius Caesar”.

- That said, I don’t hate the love triangle so far. Clarice and Lorenzo still have nothing in common and don’t even really know each other, but Lucrezia D’s “I feel protective of her” gives me hope for a decent polycule, in my delusional headcanons if not in practice. The instant consummation of their marriage made me rise my eyebrows, especially after Lorenzo passed the opportunity to be a gentleman (yes, in a somewhat anachronistic way, but still less absurd than the Bianca subplot - see bellow). Then again, he IS riddiculously attractive, enough to drive even a repressed renessaince virgin who probably barely knows what sex is mad with lust, so I’ll allow it. Still, the chemistry between Lorenzo and his new bride is still very much not there.

- Speaking of shitty romantic subplots! It really doesn’t help my enjoyment of the show that hurrempilled ever so graciously reminded me of the existence of Bali/Armin “romance”. Tsundere girl x presumptuous fuckboy is truly the worst romance trope in existence, which may be why Giuliano went in this episode from mildly to severely annoying. Poor Simonetta also has two other options, apparently - an equally presumptuous simp and her older, but reasonably attractive and only a little bit douchey (not nearly comparable to Giuliano, I’ll tell you that) husband. My money is on the husband.

- The Bianca subplot finally got interesting, but only at the price of becoming a thousand times stupider. Okay, them realizing there’s no way their families will reconcile anytime soon and eloping was stupid in an understandable way. Their reactions, though... First off, even if Lorenzo was eventually able to forgive Bianca and didn’t force her to join the monastery ASAP, he would be much more pissed off than that. There is no goddamn reason for old Pazzi to be angrier at his nephew than Lorenzo at Bianca - and don’t give me that “Gugliermo’s honor was threatened too”, because IT WASN’T. Of course it would be much worse and more embarassing for Bianca and her family! She’s a woman! Promised to another man and still supposed to be a virgin! Lorenzo should be negotiating with old Pazzi with tail between his legs, but I guess we couldn’t do that to our precious golden boy, so the show doesn’t make it entirely clear just how big of a leverage old Pazzi has over his family.

- Well, at least he’s forced to make some real concessions, like give up his leverage over old Pazzi, which is to say blocking Salviati from Pisa. But that’s still kinda dumb, because it’s not made clear how can Lorenzo boss the Pisans around, to the point they would close the gates to their own archbishop for him. Like, the real Lorenzo could presumably count on having, like, some high-ranking magistrates there being in debt to his bank, but the show doesn’t bother explaining it. The fact that politics in Rome are simplified to the point of farce is also a bit stupid, like, it’s almost as if there were sum total of three cardinals including Salviati in the entire city of Rome, plus one priest of unspecified rank i.e. uncle Carlo.

- I sincerely hope Lorenzo giving up all gains from the deal with Milan to Bianca’s spurned groom will have some major consequences down the line for the Medici bank, or so help me God... Like, at this point they extended Galeazzo’s loan and got fuck all out of it in the long run, this should be a major hit for the bank!

- And don’t think I’ve forgotten about the subtle foreshadowing that Galeazzo is untrustworthy, because that was truly an eyeroll worthy of Shadow And Bone season 2. Again, I hope this will come back later when Lorenzo will consider turning on Galeazzo somehow, but I am not getting my hopes up on the show being that smart. I mean, Giuliano knowing about Bianca and Gugliermo’s whole deal also didn’t go anywhere. Like, c’mon, people, have some imagination! Magnificent Century would milk the shit out this stuff!

- The crowning moment of stupid in this episode was Francesco de’ Pazzi turning on his uncle, because... He turned on Gugliermo for the whole marriage to Bianca?! Which, fine, Francesco siding with his brother over his uncle is whatever, but to side with the MEDICI for this?! I call incredible bullshit on that.

- This was just straight up not a great episode. It had its moments, but overall the amount of stupid stuff on display in this one lets down the entire show.

#medici: the magnificent #minette watches medici

[viscountessevie]

“Yes there are brown villains and no these are not the brown people to villainise”

I am confused though. Are they not allowed to be villainised at all? Doesn’t that depend on how one views their character?

I get that you like them. And that’s fine! But… I don’t. I do see them as people who were unfair and unjust to Kate and highly mistreated her. Just as I see Anthony’s faults in this entire situation as well.

That post, while making a valid point about white saviour complex, isn’t applicable to all fics I have read (of course, I have no way of telling which fic(s) OP was talking about when they wrote that). For example, a recent fic that I read dedicated 7 chapters to Anthony grovelling for forgiveness, whilst also recognising the mistreatment Kate faced at the hands of Edwina and Mary. The author went a bit further, and made Edwina say some awful things that makes Simon banish her from his house (that is where the fic is set).

Look. I am a brown person. Indian, in fact. I have absolutely no reason to hate Edwina for being brown since a) I love Kate b) I am brown myself. I don’t like her because of her actions in the show, and I don’t mind seeing versions of her that a bit more negative than what we saw in the show. Not every fic can be a fix it. That is why your sentence - these are not the brown people to villainise - didn’t make sense to me. It’s possible that I didn’t understand it correctly, and I apologise if that is the case. And I also recognise that the characterisation in the dark au had problematic undertones. But I am not talking about that.

Related to the tags on this post, similar comments on these two posts: #1 & #2

Hey anon, thanks for taking the time to write this in respectfully. (Just an update from last night: I am okay, everyone! But I was at a funeral and wake for my family friend great grandma who I also grew up with so I took some time to focus on that before answering this) Anyways anon, I think you kind of answered your own question and laid out both sides of the argument very well! However, I still would like to answer your first two questions and give my two cents on why I am pretty sensitive about the show portrayal of The Sharmas in post S2 fics: 

I think seeing interpretations of The Sharmas being just godawful family members and how some writers push extreme & harmful tropes on them (will give more examples below) gets me upset. This is based on my definition/scale of what "villainising" is. Personally, the word villain has extreme negative connotations. When I think of villains - my mind goes to truly horrible people who have committed vile actions that actively antagonises innocent people and the protagonists. [I also think of antiheroes but that's besides the point of this ask and post.]

Whereas I think Eddie and Mary are fallible and flawed characters though they come off two dimensional on the show (thank you writers -.-) and when some fic writers add the 3rd dimension that come across as portraying Eddie or Mary as villainous people who are actively antagonising Kathony, it just feels iffy to me. Because while Mary ignored Kate (and most likely Edwina at some points) cos of her grief, and Edwina throwing deep cut comments out of anger (I say shitty things to my sibs too but never that awful - my brothers do that to me tho soo,,,anyways that's for another time but I ALWAYS apologise)

I said 'these' brown people in the original tags as reference to the Sharmas (Papa included) shouldn’t be villianised to the extreme I’ve seen them portrayed. They aren't the cartoon villains that some people are making them out to be! 

Do you guys remember that crack theory going around a while ago where Edwina comes back in S3 to kidnap Neddy like what the fuck is that?? And I know some of my mutuals took part in this ironically and I was just able to block the tags at the time (I do not respect the people who ran with it unironically tho)

 But I think something about Papa Sharma, sweet sweet Papa Sharma who reminds me of my dad from the way Kate describes him and also me imagining him as Sendhil Ramamurthy, I mean look at him: 

Just having THIS GUY being portrayed as a kidnapper and murderer in the Dark AU was not it! I know we aren’t talking about that in this post but I want to explain why after all this time I spoke out to Mimi’s anons about the portrayals of The Sharmas. This was me being pushed off the edge after turning a blind eye for months and the frustration just build up, accumulating into the ask I sent in the ‘#1′ post linked above. Hence, I brought up the portrayals of Edwina and Mary too. 

That being said, I will back up these sections of this ask: 

Doesn’t that depend on how one views their character?.... I do see them as people who were unfair and unjust to Kate and highly mistreated her. Just as I see Anthony’s faults in this entire situation as well.... I don’t like her [Edwina] because of her actions in the show, and I don’t mind seeing versions of her that a bit more negative than what we saw in the show.

You’re absolutely right that interpretations come from how people view them and of course, people are welcomed and allowed to have their own opinions. I did preface my original ask on Mimi’s blog saying as much that no one should be policing anything. I just wanted to point out how harmful the extreme ends of the Sharma portrayals in fics have been lately which is why I don’t read them at all. I only read authors who mesh Book and Show Sharmas well or Pre-S2 fics because I know majority of the S2 fics will make me upset.  

I think the fic you referenced sounds okay because of course Miss Edwina ‘Half-sister’ and ‘More kind hearted than you’ Sharma would make comments that would have her yeeted from Simon’s home. 

For me personally, I just need/will read fics that acknowledge that yes, Edwina and Mary fucked up but are trying to do better. Some people reducing them to one dimensional villains is just reductive to me. I agree not everything can be a fix it but I just feel robbed that we never got a full resolution on the show and everyone was just ‘okay’ so fix it fics fulfil that for me which is why I don’t read the ‘break it more’ fics as I call them ahhaha. But yeah they make me uncomfortable. 

Most of all, I think my frustration and sadness comes from missing the era before S2 where the main Sharma (well Book!Sheffield) fics in the tag were wholesome family ones and now I can barely find any in the flood of the S2 canon fics. 

Hope I got my view across and why I don’t think they should be villianised they way I define it in my head at least! Thanks to everyone for reading this and again to the anon for giving me their pov I appreciate it even if I don’t fully agree! 

#Bridgerton #Bridgerton Fanfic Discourse #The Sharmas #Bookie 📖 Anon #Bridgerton Asks

[agentofagony]

I NEVER see the Loki antis in the Young Avengers fandom notice that Loki did not intend to actively put Billy in danger? Obviously it was still shitty but the plan was 'make him choose between dying/leaving Teddy and giving me his powers temporarily' with the assumption that Billy was in a good place. Billy was suicidal, and as soon as Loki realizes this, they intervene and they feel awful since they can empathize. They change gears accordingly. That's the whole storyline: nothing goes how Loki calculated it would play out. It does not excuse their actions. Loki DID genuinely care about Billy though and they think of the team as their friends. Billy himself even acknowledged this and tells Loki he still cares about them, BUT that forgiveness isn't solely Billy's to give. Kind of love how well he clearly knows Loki lmao

Anon Idk why what are you talking about in the first half. Are you saying I'm an anti Loki? Because if you are then you're in for a ride bub I love him.

I'm not sure if I have adhd yet or not because therapy is hard to get around here but what I know is that I have a hyperfixtion on Loki to the point that the only other marvel characters I care about other than him are either has the same problems as Loki, and or I want him to interact with them(Doyle,clea, brucebanner, deadpool, ironlad/kang) ,or they're related to Loki(the young avengers, amora, thor), Or has a beef with Loki (doctor strange and bats duh), or Loki interacted with them once(wolverine, Spiderman, kamala)

But if you're saying you never seen an anti Loki's in the young avengers Fandom then guess again. I literally saw someone saying "fuck Loki, Angela should've been on the young avengers team instead " on Twitter which is hilarious because like Angela is very old, and the rinecruited/current Loki is considered/supposed to be a young adult . And another one reqouted with a gif of a women getting hit by a train with the caption" another young avengers story about Loki"(all thought they might meant they will get hit with emotions Idk)

I unknowingly rebloged a post from an anti Loki part of the young avengers talking about how Loki told Billy to kill himself(which after checking again because my memory is bad turned out to has never happened) in fact Loki stopped him from offing himself the two times he tried it. He even confessed his plan just to stop Billy from trying to kill himself.

I'm not sure when did I say Loki didn't care about Billy? Or the young avengers?? (sorry if I actually did at some point because again garage memory)

what I remember I did say "I don't understand why they care about Loki" because seriously even if he didn't intend to get to him attampt self deletion. He still made them suffer even if he didn't intend to.

In fact I believe the young avengers are the first actual friends Loki ever had beside Thor (yes kid Loki had Leah but we're talking about young Loki who happens to have old Loki's memories ).friends he actually felt welcomed with, related to, had fun with. We know for a fact Loki never had friends through out his childhood.

I'm not sure what part made you think I'm an anti Loki. Unless you stumbled across one of the posts and reblogs I expressed fear of the young avengers reunion story. Because if you actually bothered to look at my page and scrool through it even for a second JUST A SECOND you would've known :/

I'm scared from the young avengers reunion story not because I hate Loki but because what ever is gonna happen inside the story could be Loki's doing in a way because he's fucking Loki. You know shit is about to get fucked up when ever he's around because that's just what happens.

How many times did we have Loki messing shit up without intending to? It's like literally his thing.he mess things up and everyone get mad at him.

And different writers means different looks on how Loki should be. Alyssa wong have never wrote a story with Loki beyond Iligator Loki so it's understandable for me to feel scared from her story.

She would also be writing Loki iron fist #5 too and it looks like Loki is going to be one of the villians which is making me even more nervous.

Hopefully I would be wrong and Alyssa wong would actually not write Loki as the villian . But we have to wait and see. It seems like she might be the next writer after Jason Aaron to add Loki into every story she writes based on the fact, that's he has been added to two stories she's writing for.

#loki #marvel comics #agent of asgard #Young avengers #alyssa wong

[fillingthescrapbook]

We Need to Talk About CW's Kung Fu

"Disclosure," Episode 8 of Season 2, is a giant clusterfuck. And it's only juggling three plotlines. Technically. The problem is: one plot has subplots for days, and one plot doesn't connect to the other two at all.

Let's start with the biggest plot: the introduction of 'The Enclave.' Unlike last week's titular alchemist, this plotline doesn't come from nowhere. Thankfully. My biggest issue with this plot is the way it's structured in the episode--

First, we open on Zhi-Lan in the present. A second later, we flash back to two weeks ago just so we can see Zhi-Lan was present during Nicky and Mia's attempted acquisition of the Jyu-Sa. Just so we can see Zhi-Lan pick up a Jyu-Sa of her own. (How many of those were 'refined' anyway? How come the bad guys didn't realize two were missing from their pile?) And then we go back to present-time Zhi-Lan who goes into research mode before cutting to her using the Jyu-Sa to summon the ghost of The Alchemist. Who is wearing her sister's face. Which Zhi-Lan doesn't question.

Honestly? We could have started with Zhi-Lan sneaking into the Jyu-Sa laboratory. Then the reveal that Zhi-Lan is seeing Nicky and Mia fight the evil lab rats. She picks up one of the Jyu-Sas, leave, and then we cut to her in her new lair. "Present day" pops up on our screens as we see Zhi-Lan in front of her research. She's already started the summoning or whatever. The Alchemist appears and Zhi-Lan questions why she is wearing Pei-Ling's face. The Alchemist makes a comment about how she appears as a person's biggest regret. Which applies to both Nicky (who feels like she failed her mentor in failing to save her), and to Zhi-Lan (who never had a good relationship with the sister she murdered). And we could do away with the "call me mother" line. Economy of scenes.

The rest of the plot ties in Nicky's decision not to come clean with Mia about her potential future as a deranged psychopath (which, again, would have worked better had Mia joined Zhi-Lan instead of going back to Nicky ); Nicky and Henry's research into what Russell Tan plans to do with the bell (which I thought was already resolved when they realized--and Russell verbalized that he plans to demolish San Francisco); and Evan's issue with his boss at the District Attorney's office. Former boss. They also introduce a new thread here with a whistleblower who very cleanly connects Evan's former boss with Russell Tan and the bell via an unpublished manuscript. Which I also have an issue with. But we'll get to that later. For now, let's focus on the fact that the A-plot already has four subplots running under it:

(SUBPLOT 1) Nicky not coming clean to Mia about her destiny. (SUBPLOT 2) Evan's former boss working with Russell Tan. (SUBPLOT 3) Zhi-Lan's revenge plot against Russell Tan. (SUBPLOT 4) Russell Tan getting ready to… I don't know? Kidnap Mia? Ring the bell? Who the fuck knows?

All these subplots needed to breathe and process properly. Instead of doing that, the people in charge of writing this episode decided to throw in two more plotlines. One, I can forgive--the other, I can't.

The one I can forgive is Happy Dumpling's anniversary--because it does help Mia process why she wants to believe Nicky's promise of a happy present. And it also gives Althea something to do while her own character development is spinning its wheels. (Although, I have to say, I hated the fact that they made Althea hide from her employees and reject Nicky and Mia's offer to spearhead the anniversary party for Happy Dumpling. It's so off from the character they built since Season 1, and it adds unnecessary dialogue to the episode.)

The c-plot, the one I feel so angry about, is Ryan's subplot with Sebastian. I was initially hopeful about this pairing when the season started. Unfortunately, the lack of chemistry between the actors and the really shitty way the writers are exploring Sebastian's backstory has made me physically blanche every time the show gives them screentime. Because nothing really develops relationship-wise between the two. It's all lip-service. Ryan feels some type of way. Sebastian says something cagey about his life. Ryan demands to know everything. Sebastian refuses. Ryan says he's willing to give it a try. They've done this for two episodes now. Meanwhile, in Season 1, we had Ryan joining a protest with Joe against his mother's wishes-one scene that gives us character growth for Ryan, development for his relationship with Joe, and a conflict to face for what happens at the protest after. Why can't we have something like that for Ryan again? Heck: why can't we have something like that for the show in general again?

And you know what the worst part of Ryan and Sebastian's plot is? It does not connect to anything else in the episode. Not in theme, no juxtaposition… They weren't even at the anniversary party for Happy Dumpling at the closer! So there's no explanation why we had to repeat the motions for these two characters. There's nothing to save their scenes from this episode because we don't even get anything swoon-worthy. All we get are red flags that tell us this couple shouldn't be together.

Which leads me to this conclusion: this show needs a head writer. Someone who can plot out a season-long story, break and develop the episodes with their assigned writers, guide the foreshadowing, safeguard the mythology, and course correct the writers' work if needed. They also need a program supervisor who can check on props as well: because why does a book that seeks to expose the richest businessmen, aka The Enclave, have information on a magical bell and a mystical mallet? With an illustration to boot!

I am still rooting for this show but it's getting harder and harder with every passing episode.

If anyone from Kung Fu is reading this and want to reach out; e-mail me: blurredlights at yahoo dot com. I want to help fix this show. (A job would be nice too, but more than that: I just really want this show to be better.)

#Kung Fu CW #tv talks #my words #I want this show to be better #I want more Clementines and less of episodes like this one

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction | Uses Your Insecurities Against You [Request]

`A/N: The anon is right by the way you’re all beautiful in every way possible, including the anon that requested this. I love you all! Stunning, beautiful peopl all of you! ~ M

CHAN: Insecurity: Clingy

Chan rubbed the bridge of his nose as he stared at the screen in front of him trying to grab some ideas from the air, he had been suffering with writer's block and it was starting to get to him. Normally if he was suffering with it he would call you over, you were his constant muse but this week he wanted nothing more than to be left alone. He was stressed from being put under pressure from his managers to finished a certain amount of songs, as well as making sure he and the rest of the boys were staying on top of their practice. Everything was just piling up on top of him and he didn't need you around to add to the pile, as much as he loved you being there he just needed some peace and quiet which he soon realised wasn't going to happen,

"Jisung told me you were feeling shitty so I bought your favourite snacks," Your voice that was normally heavenly to Chan only made him cringe as he realised you were here. 

"Hey babe, do you mind coming back later? I really need to get this done," He turned around on his chair to face you, trying to get you to leave quickly before things went south but you stood your ground, placing the small basket of food down onto the coffee table. 

"I also got your favourite hot drink, I figured you could use a pick me up." You began explaining everything that was in the basket but it only annoyed him more as you listed everything, ignoring his request for you to leave.

"We can sit on the sofa and eat while you relax for a while-"

"Fuck! Have you always been this clingy or is it just as of late?" Your heart sunk as you stared at Chan who was red in the face, it was now that you took in his dishevelled appearance it looked like he'd slept less than usual and he was clearly beating himself up over something so you let the comment pass. 

"I was just- I wanted to make sure you were okay," Your voice cracked as you tried to get over the comment, moving closer to Chan who simply rolled away from you on the chair and shook his head at you. 

"I want you to leave. You're so fucking clingy! I can't do anything without you being right there on top of me, it's exhausting having a partner who doesn't know what space is!" He was yelling loudly enough that the staff outside his studio had stopped speaking to hear what was happening in the office but you felt like you shrunk in size as he yelled at you so without another word you left him there. Chan knew how insecure you were about being considered clingy, your exes had all said the same thing to you so when you began dating Chan you told him about it, not wanting to have the same problem. You never thought, in a million years, that he of all people would use it against you.

(X)

Later that night there was a knock on your apartment door, thinking it was just the food you'd ordered for yourself you got up to answer it to see Chan standing there holding the basket of food with a giant smile on his face. 

"What do you want?" You asked plainly as you stared behind him, hoping your pizza would arrive so you could take it and shut the door. 

"To tell you how sorry I am," You scoffed rolling your eyes at him, 

"You know exactly how insecure about that I am and you still-" You began sobbing as you thought back on what he said, all he did was wrap his arms around you tightly. Pulling you into a hug, his hugs were the answers to all of your problems, no matter what you were going through as long as he hugged you everything else seemed to be insignificant to you.

"You know how insecure I am about that," You managed to say through sniffles as he kissed the top of your head, rubbing your lower back as he repeated how sorry he was to you. 

"Things with work have been stressful...I just- You weren't listening and I needed you out of there." He knew it was never going to make up for what he had unintentionally said to you but he was going, to be honest with you from the start and tell you what happened. 

"I'll make it up to you if you let me." He whispered as he continued to hold you in his arms, kissing your cheeks as you nodded. 

"Start by paying for my pizza," You sniffled, wiping your eyes when you saw the delivery man walking over in your direction, 

"Anything for you," Chan whispered, handing you the basket so he could get out the cash.

MINHO: Insecurity: Not having Friends (One of my many insecurities lol)

As soon as Minho heard your voice from the hall he rolled his head against the floor of the dance studio, 

"I thought it was just us today," Hyunjin said to Minho, confused as to why you were in the building when it was supposed to be a private practice between him and the boys this afternoon.

"It is," Minho grumbled as he glanced over at the glass panel on the door, you were stood talking with Nayeon so he wrecked his brain at some kind of excuse to get you to leave without being so mean about it. The boys were all stressed out, Kingdom was getting harder with every week so they were having to step up their game, every second of practice alone was important to them. With you there, they weren't able to get anything done. 

"Hey Babe, guys! I got you all some lunch and I figured we could hang out this afternoon?" You glanced over all of their faces and the boys turned to look at Minho for help, none of them wanted to be the ones to send you home but it needed to be done. It was probably best it came from your boyfriend rather than the boys who were just friends of yours, 

"Don't you have plans with any of your friends?" Seungmin tried to come across as friendly, hoping you would somehow get the hint that they wanted you to leave but Minho laughed loudly at the comment. 

"Y/n doesn't have friends, that's why they're always clinging onto us," The room seemed to fall into silence, all that could be heard was the air-conditioner and your rapid breathing as Minho used your number one insecurity against you in front of everybody knowing full well that it hurt you more than anything else he could have said to you. 

"Y/n!" Minho yelled out as you backed out of the room without another word to him, the other boys looking shocked at him as he called you to come back to him. 

"Give them some space...Y/n will just want some time to cool off," Chan said as he placed his hand on Minho's arm wanting him to calm down before he spoke to you but Minho couldn't concentrate on anything else but the look on your face as he said that to you. 

(X)

Minho stared at you from across your apartment as you waited for him to say something, he'd let himself in with his key but you weren't speaking. He'd been sitting on the sofa for an hour without either of you talking, he was just as stubborn as you were about things but he knew he was in the wrong this time. 

"Why did you say it?" That was all you wanted to know, why he'd felt the need to use one of the biggest things you were insecure about in front of everyone, laughing about it as if it was something funny when it wasn't. 

"I just- I need you out of there, I've been stressed and I know that will never be a suitable excuse but I was." You rolled your eyes at him, sitting down on the opposite sofa to him as you listened to what he was saying, 

"You could have told me, I would have left...I know how much stress you're all under for Kingdom," You whispered as you looked down at your hands, wondering if he really found it funny that you didn't have many of your own friends, you were new to Korea it wasn't as if you weren't trying. 

"What I said was out of order, nothing I can do or say will make up for it but I'm hoping you'll let me try...I never meant it, you know that." You knew deep down he hadn't meant it but you didn't want to forgive him so easily and seem so weak,

"Fine but...I want to be alone tonight, I just want some space." You whispered as you glanced up at him, he nodded and walked over to you giving you a kiss on your forehead. 

"Call me when you're ready to speak, I'm sorry." He whispered before you kissed him again, letting him go out of the door. 

CHANGBIN: Insecurity: School/College work

it out on one When Changbin walked into the dorms that night and heard you laughing loudly with the guys he frowned, you were supposed to be at home studying for your exams that were coming up not here with his friends. 

"Y/n? I thought you had an exam tomorrow." He said plainly as he walked into the room, you stopped laughing as you glanced over at him and nodded your head. 

"I do, I was just coming over for a break and I ran into Jisung," You looked over at Jisung who was still red in the face from laughing, Changbin grew with jealously as he watched the two of you giggling while trying not to laugh.

"This is why you keep failing the exams," He mumbled not thinking you could hear him as he walked into the kitchen but you heard him and your face fell, 

"What?" Your voice cracked as you waited for him to repeat what he had just said to you, nothing but the sound of the tap dripping could be heard. 

"Nothing." He grumbled, Jisung attempted to slowly leave the room without being noticed but you took his wrist in your hand, 

"What did he say Jisung?" Changbin stared at the younger member with a look that said he would kill him if he said anything. 

"I wasn't listening," It was clearly a lie but you let him go before grabbing your stuff, 

"That's great, you know. You confide in your boyfriend that one of your insecurities is that you failed an exam and he uses it against you," You said snarkily as you began heading towards the door of the dorms, wanting nothing more than to go home and be left alone but Changbin followed you out. 

"I didn't mean it, I was just-"

"You were just what?! Stressed? So, what? You thought. 'I know let me just take it out on my partner, who's already having a rough enough time without their boyfriend being rude about it'" You yelled before leaving the dorms, making sure to slam the door so he knew you didn't want him to follow you back home.

(X)

A week had passed since your little yelling match with Changbin, he'd been doing everything he could to say sorry, sending flowers, chocolates and teddies to your apartment to try and make up for everything he had done. Then there were the calls, voicemails and texts telling you how sorry he was for what he had said to you, that he hadn't meant it. You finally gave up on ignoring him when you realised you were both just stressed and it didn't mean you had to take it out on one another. 

"I'm sorry," You said in unison as you opened the door to your apartment to see him standing there with a bunch of flowers in his hands, 

"No, I'm sorry." You said in unison again before laughing with one another, Changbin put the flowers down on your kitchen side before bringing you into a hug and kissing the top of your head. 

"I promise that it won't happen again, I've been stressed at work and that's one of the worst excuses in the world but I'm really sorry-" He was cut off when you kissed him softly, telling him that it was fine, you'd been stressed out as well and you shouldn't have ignored him for as long as you had done. 

"How did your exam go?" He whispered as he pulled you into a tight hug, 

"I passed." You laughed softly, kissing his chest as he told you his plans for congratulating you. 

HYUNJIN: Insecurity: Not Being Good enough for him

You ran your hands down the outfit you were wearing for the award show the boys had invited you to go along with them to and you sighed, you looked great but you thought back on what everyone else was going to be wearing. All of those people around Hyunjin who were going to gain his attention within seconds, 

"You ready to go? Whoa," He whispered as he walked into your shared room to find you in the most stunning outfit he'd ever seen you in, he walked over and kissed you softly. 

"Looking good babe," He complimented but your heart dropped, "good" wasn't what you wanted, you wanted to look great. So great that he wouldn't be able to take his eyes off you all night, 

"I need to change, it's not right." You mumbled, heading into the wardrobe to try and find something that would meet your standards that you had set in your head. 

"You don't have to, you look good." You ignored him as you pulled out different options up to your body trying to find the best one, 

"I don't want to look good, I want to look great." You whispered not thinking he could hear you but he watched you from the door shaking his head, 

"You always look great, it doesn't matter what you wear," You looked over at him and shook your head this time, 

"But they're going to be people, that will look better...You will look at them and want to be with them instead." He rolled his eyes at you, leaving the wardrobe to go and wait for you outside not wanting to listen to this over and over again. 

"You always think that I'm going to leave you for someone else, why? You're all I want." He was getting tired of telling you this and you never believe him, it was like a broken record. 

"Maybe I should spend my time looking for someone who would be good for me, someone who wouldn't spend so much time getting ready," He snapped not meaning it, he was stressed from work and the award show but you came out of the wardrobe in sweats. 

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I'm not going. Spend the night finding someone that can be good enough for you," You remarked before looking yourself in the en-suite, ignoring him as he banged on the door for you to come out.

(X)  

Hyunjin walked into the room later that night to find you curled up in bed with his shirt on, he crawled in behind you and kissed your shoulder softly. 

"You know I didn't mean it right, you're perfect for me...Sometimes you're too good for me." He whispered as you pretended to be asleep, 

"I know you're not asleep because you're not doing that little snorting thing you do when you're sleeping," You began making the snorting noise as he laughed softly, kissing your cheeks and turning you around to face him,

"There is no one in the world I want, I only want you for the rest of my life," He admitted as he kissed your lips over and over again, telling you he was going to remind you every day how good you were until you began to believe and listen to him.

JISUNG: Insecurity: Don’t earn as much as him

It was no secret that you didn't earn as much as your boyfriend Jisung did but that was because he was famous and you just happened to serve in a restaurant and work in a bookstore in the week. 

"We're all going to split the bill," Jisung announced as he looked at the waiter who had asked had you and the boys wanted to pay for your meal that night, you looked at the receipt nervously thinking about how you were going to pay for it. 53000 won wasn't exactly the cheapest meal in the world, you figured you would all pay for the food you had ordered for yourselves which was why you'd gone for the cheapest items on the menu. 

"Well, Changbin is the birthday boy, we shouldn't make him pay. Let's split between the eight of us," Felix said as he bought out his wallet, you began to grow with anxiety as you realised you weren't going to have enough to cover it. 

"Here, mine and Y/n's half," You stared at the wad of cash that he placed down and then up at him as he smiled at you, kissing your lips. 

"I got you, baby, I know you don't have a lot so I figured this was my treat." Your mouth fell open as he said that in front of everyone and the boys awkwardly looked away from you, doing anything they could to not pay attention to you. 

"I can pay for my own meals," You whispered not wanting to make a scene in such a fancy place but Jisung didn't see a problem with him putting money down for the two of you. 

"I know you don't earn as much as me, it's no big deal it's just money." A hiss sounded from Changbin as he realised Jisung was saying the wrong thing right now so all you did was get up, 

"Well, this person who doesn't earn as much as you is leaving to catch a cab. Don't worry Jisung, I can afford it." You snapped, moving out of the restaurant leaving Jisung shocked as he watched after you, not seeing the problem in him offering to pay for your food. 

"Dude...Bringing up that they earn less than you? Harsh," Changbin whispered as he patted Jisung on the back before getting up to leave. 

(X)

Watching him from across the room you waited for Jisung to say something, he'd come to your apartment begging you to let him inside so you did. 

"What is it? Come to mock me some more for my jobs?" He sighed as he stepped closer to you, only for you to back up against the wall not wanting him to touch you right now. 

"You know I never meant it like that, I just...I thought I was doing a good thing." You shook your head as you rubbed your arms, 

"Doing a good thing would be if you didn't announce to everyone on our table that I make less than you," You mumbled as you thought back on the boys all staring at you, it felt as if you'd shrunk in size with the way they all stared at you.

"Babe please, I didn't mean to I thought I was doing a nice thing." You shook your head rubbing your temples as the headache you'd gotten increased, 

"Whatever Jisung, just...lock the door on your way out," You turned away from him only for him to take you by the hand and pull you close. 

"You know I would never do something that spiteful to you on purpose, I was stressed, it slipped out, I didn't mean to use it against you." You could tell by the look in his eyes how sorry he was and the thought of curling up beside him to fall asleep was too good to resist right now so you gently kissed his lips. 

"Next time we eat, I'm paying." You mumbled, dragging him  into the bedroom to get some well-earnt sleep.

FELIX: Insecurity: Emotionless/Cold hearted

According to everyone around you, you were that cold and heartless person that everyone tended to steer away from which was why it was so hard for you to believe someone like Felix, who was the living embodiment of sunshine, would want to date someone like you. 

"All I'm saying is, you could have been a little bit nicer." He mumbled as you stood in the dorms, Jisung had been crying about a fight he'd had with Chan earlier that day and you told him to grow up about it. 

"All I said was that he needed to grow up," You were confused as to why he was so angry over something so small, Jisung hadn't seemed that upset over it and it was him you were talking to. 

"You're so fucking emotionless! He was crying Y/n and you told him to grow up!" You felt your body slump as the words left his mouth, you could take that from everyone around you but not him, not Felix. Felix was the one that made all of your insecurities melt away, the one you felt happy with but now he'd just thrown that back in your face and it looked as though he hadn't even noticed. 

"How do you do it? How do you get away with being so cold to everyone around you, he was clearly hurt and needed our help and you fucking made it worse." You looked over at the dorm bathrooms wondering if you could make a run for it while he was ranting with his back to you so you did. Shutting the door as you slid down it, crying into your knees as you remembered the way Felix looked at you as if you were a monster. It wasn't that you were emotionless or cold to everyone, there were just some feelings you didn't understand. 

"Y/n! I'm sorry!" He banged on the door as soon as he realised where you were, trying to get you to come out as he heard you sniffling from the other side of it. 

"Please, I didn't mean any of it Y/n, you know that." You continued to cry into your knees, wanting nothing more than for him to leave and go into his room so you could sneak out and go home but he sat there on the other side of the door and waited. 

(X)

You finally emerged an hour later when Chan knocked on the door telling you he needed to use the bathroom, Felix was waiting for you with open arms but you attempted to move away from him, failing as he hugged you from behind. 

"I'm sorry, I was just stressed and overwhelmed with work, I shouldn't have taken it out on you," He whispered as he kissed your shoulder, watching you as you kept your eyes forward on Jisung who was talking to Chan about that day.

"You were right though, he did need to grow up...I shouldn't have said what I said to you and I am really sorry Y/n." You knew that no matter what Felix was going to keep saying sorry until you forgave him, 

"You're right there, I am-" He kissed your lips softly before you could tell him you agreed with yourself being emotionless, 

"I don't want to hear that, it's not true...Remember when I broke my ankle and you were there taking care of me," You nodded and he continued to list off everything you had done for him, the boys and all of your friends when they were sick or injured. 

"I don't want to hear that again," He kissed your nose and you nodded before kissing him softly to stop him from saying sorry again.

SEUNGMIN: Insecurity: Not successful like other people your age

Your eyes glanced over the wedding invitation sitting on your coffee table, yet another one of your friends were getting married and you were happy for them. You would always be happy for someone who was doing well in their life but everyone you knew seemed to be getting married, having babies, getting their dream carers all the while you seemed to be stuck in the same place moving nowhere in your life. 

"Why the long face?" Seungmin asked as he brought over your plate of food, the two of you were having your date night at your place tonight since the boys were all at the dorms and you wanted some alone time together.

"Nothing, I'm just wondering what to get my friend for her wedding," You said as you nodded over at the invitation, Seungmin nodded along with you and without thinking about it first, 

"Doesn't it make you feel bad that they're all so successful and you're just still in your small apartment," He didn't mean for it to come out the way it did, he'd been so stressed all week over something he needed to ask you that it came out a little too harsh. You dropped the fork onto your plate as you looked at him, wondering if he was joking or if he was serious but he looked at you confused. 

"What?"

"Well, I mean, they're all married, starting families, having these large homes and you're still in this crummy apartment." You couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, especially from Seungmin of all people, your boyfriend. The person that was supposed to be supportive and loving to you no matter what, it felt as though he was turning your back on you. 

"Crummy?" Your voice broke as he continued to eat, watching the TV as though he didn't notice what he had said was hurting you so badly, you got up without another word, placed your plate down and rushed to the bathroom. 

(X)

When you didn't come out after an hour Seungmin was beginning to worry, he knocked on the door when he heard sniffling coming from inside. 

"Babe? Everything okay?" You wiped your eyes as you hummed in response, reaching to the toilet to flush it before lying to him, claiming you were sick and he needed to go before he caught it.

"You were fine earlier," He mumbled confused as to where this sudden sickness had come from, he opened the door to find you leaning against the bathtub wiping your eyes. 

"Babe! What's wrong?" You scoffed at him, moving away as he tried to reach out and comfort you, 

"What's wrong?! Me and my crummy apartment!" You yelled as you moved away from him and went into the living room, 

"Baby, I didn't-"

"Didn't mean it? Because clearly, you did! Do you find it funny?" He reached out for you but you stepped away once again not wanting him to be near you right now,

"Let's just laugh at Y/n and the fact that they still live in a 'crummy' apartment, not married, not having kids and alone!" He realized as soon as you began crying again that his words had hurt you unintentionally, he hadn't meant it the way they'd come out.

"I didn't mean it like that, I've been stressed this week trying to-"

"So you took it out on me? When have we ever done that?" He shook his head, finally gabbing your hands as he made you look up at him, 

"I've been stressing myself out trying to ask you to move in with me, I-I found a house we could live in and I- I didn't know how to ask you and I thought that dropping hints would be a good way." You stared at him with your brows pressed together, 

"You thought telling me my apartment was crummy...was a hint?" He laughed awkwardly as he realised how stupid it seemed but you started laughing softly along with him somehow seeing the funny side of it as you shook your head. 

"Kim Seungmin, you are the most strangest, perfect boyfriend in the world." You whispered kissing him softly, 

"Yes, I'll move in with you."

JEONGIN: Insecurity: Worried He doesn’t Love you

"You were flirting with her," You scoffed as you stood in one of the empty conference rooms that were in the JYP building, Jeongin rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration listening to what you were claiming he was doing.

"I was talking to her, she's like a younger sister to me." He explained you'd walked into the building to find him standing extremely close to Lia from itzy and it sent jealousy running through your veins. It wasn't as if you didn't trust Jeongin, you just found it incredibly difficult to see him with someone like Lia and not be attracted to her,

"You're just always too jealous to see what's in front of you! Why would I flirt with her when I'm with you?" You stared at him as he called you jealous, you looked down at your hands and not knowing what to say to him. 

"You're always so worried that I don't love you! Do you know how tiring it is to have to remind you all the time?" You felt a pang in your heart as he yelled at you, people turning to look through the glass door as they heard the youngest member yelling. 

"Well if it's so tiring why do you keep doing it?!" You yelled back only for him to shake his head and shrug his shoulders, 

"I don't know," Your heart, felt as though it had fallen onto the floor and crashed into a million tiny pieces right in front of him and it was as though he didn't care to notice. 

"You don't know? So...Why don't we just break up?" Your voice was quieter, hoping he would realise you were upset about this and that he would tell you he didn't mean it but he nodded his head, 

"Fine." Your breath caught in your throat as he stormed out of the room leaving you alone to try and gather up everything that had just happened in the room while he seemed to go off as though nothing had happened. 

(X)

When Jeongin walked into the dorms later that night the last thing he expected to find was you packing everything up into a bag with tears gushing down your cheeks. 

"Sorry, I thought I would be done before you got back," You sniffled, wiping your eyes and side-stepping out of the room telling him you would come back for the rest of your stuff when he wasn't at home.

"What are you talking about? Why are you taking your stuff?" You ignored him as you struggled to take the key to the dorms off your keys, dropping them all onto the floor and crying as you saw him bending down for them. 

"We broke up. Remember? You didn't want the hassle of telling me you loved me so we broke up," You couldn't bring yourself to look at him but he tilted your head up to look at him and shook his head, 

"I was just mad, I didn't mean it Y/n...I would never break up with you over that, I've just been stressed and then the whole jealousy thing came out and I just...I'm really sorry," He whispered leaning forward to kiss your lips softly, repeating over and over how much he loved you in every way possible, kissing you all over your face as he pulled you back into his dorm room so you could unpack your bag. 

Tagline: @taestannie​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @sw33tnight​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @minholuvs​

#skz #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #skz reaction #skz reactions #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x y/n #stray kids reaction #stray kids reactions #bang chan x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #jisung x reader #felix x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #yang jeongin #jeongin #kim seungmin #seungmin #felix #lee felix #han jisung #jisung #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin

[libraryofloveletters]

Just A Phase

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, typical high school nonsense, kinda rude behaviour at first meet, mentions of weed/alcohol and the consumption of, typical cocky jock behaviour, few swear words, being tipsy/drunk

Category: fluff and a little angst 

Word Count: 5.4k

Author’s Note: I just started writing and this is where I ended up so yeah also I feel like I haven’t written in a million years, forgive me if this is shitty // I referred to Buck as Evan for the first little bit because he and the reader had been introduced yet. // thank you to my darling @floralbuckleys for their help!

----

Senior Year Of High School. 

 Evan Buckley, certified jock and bad boy. 

He was the type of guy that only had a soft spot for you, but you didn’t know that yet. Truthfully he wasn’t a mean guy - people just perceived him that way because he was on the football team and popular. He had somewhat of a troublesome reputation.

People knew where he went, trouble followed. 

You, on the other hand, came from a somewhat above average family. Your mom’s a nurse and dad’s a lawyer. They always had big hopes and dreams for you, for you to go off to Harvard in the fall and follow in your father’s footsteps but you didn’t want that. 

You dreamt of being a writer - you couldn't bring yourself to tell your parents that. Since you were young, they had instilled “you’re going to go to Harvard” in you. 

You couldn’t back out now. 

See, high school worked a certain way. You kept to your circles and didn’t mingle with those that didn’t fit into your circle. You and Evan didn’t run in the same circle - he was a troublesome jock and you were a smart preppy girl. 

Being the preppy kid meant volunteering where you could to bulk up your college application hence why you were at school on a Friday afternoon, waiting for the kids to show up. You were part of some tutor program that your chemistry teacher put you into. 

It was mostly just kids that needed some clarification on their work and the occasional jock that needed to pass a course to stay on the team.

You weren't surprised when a group of noisy jocks stumbled in the study hall, reeking of sweat from practice.  

You were surprised to see Evan, he hadn't been in there before. 

“Settle down boys” Mrs. Jacobs told them before sending each guy off to a tutor, leaving Evan standing beside her. “You can head over to y/n” she pointed at you, you gave him a small smile when you glanced up. He looked unpleasant, like he didn’t want to be there. 

He made his way over nonetheless. “Good afternoon” you say quietly, unsure if he heard you. He grumbles a hello as he sits down. 

The first few minutes, it was quiet. He sat there flipping through his textbook and scribbling down answers into the notebook in front of him. 

“Is there anything I can help you-” “I'm not stupid.” 

You glance at him, eyes catching his blue ones looking back at you. “I never said you were.” 

“I'm only here because I didn’t turn in my mid term project and now stupid Mr. Jefferson thinks I don't understand this shit” he explains himself. 

You hum, glancing down at the notebook in front of him, pulling it towards you. Reading over the sheet, all the answers were right. A hum of satisfaction slips pass your lips as you slide the notebook back over to him. 

“Not just another dumb jock then.” your eyes study his face after the statement. His lips curl into a small smile, a hum as he turns his attention back to his paper. 

“So prep life must be dull - no parties, all study.” 

“Who says prep kids don't party ?” 

He chuckles, “maybe the lack of prep kids at the parties.” “I’ll have you know, I party plenty, Evan.” 

Once again, he chuckles. “The phrasing of that statement shows that you clearly don’t- but call me Buck, all the guys do.” he slides the notebook over to you. 

“Check this over, I'll be back” you watched as he stepped out of the study hall and disappeared into the hallway. 

A few minutes pass by, you’re tired and in need of a nap but you blink away the tiredness to read his work. There’s a voice behind you and then you feel something heavy on your chair. Leaning back to figure out what it was, the back of your head hit something hard. You shift in your seat and look up to see your head has hit Buck’s torso. 

“How's the work, peach ?” his voice is low, the drop in octave from before causes butterflies in your stomach. 

Your brows furrow at the nickname, he noticed your confusion and glances down at your top and your eyes follow his only to see that your peach colour bra was sticking out from the top of your shirt. 

You had stretched back into your seat when he stepped out and you hadn't noticed the shift in your clothing.

Pulling the top of your shirt back up, he smiles and returns to his seat. You clear your throat, head down and eyes on the work in front of you as you could feel the blush on your face. 

“Um, the work is fine.” 

“Do you have plans tonight ?” 

“No, why?” 

“Come with me to Johnson’s party, you can show me how prep kids party” he smiles, his words are teasing you- taunting you even. “I would, but my parents are out of town so I don’t have the car and I have to watch the house.” 

“The house won’t disappear if you’re gone for a few hours and I'll pick you up then. What’s your address ?” 

“Buck, I really shouldn't” 

“Y/n, come on. Pull the stick out your ass for one night and enjoy senior year. You can go back to Harvard prep tomorrow.” 

His word choice doesn't shock you, it’s quite on brand for him. He’s looking at you, waiting for your answer and you can't help but give in.

Taking the pen from him, you scribble your address and number on his notebook. “See you at 7?” picking your bag up before slinging it over your shoulder. 

“7? Peach, the party doesn’t start ‘till 9. I’ll pick you up at 10:30.” 

“Oh um- okay.” you hum, confused but you agree anyways. 

--- 

10:45 and you were sitting on your couch, glancing at your phone and back to the window. 

You had been stood up once before but to be stood up by a jock, and a popular one ? Will be the death of any social life you had. 

Finally there’s a knock on your door and you get up a little faster than you would have liked but you make your way over. Pulling it open, you met with Buck. 

“Ready ?” 

“Sure, let me grab my phone” you leave the door open, stepping back to the couch. Buck had disappeared from the doorway when you returned, you locked up and followed what looked like headlights to the driveway. 

Buck sat on his bike, he scoots forwards a bit before patting the space behind him. 

“No.” you mumble. 

“What ?” 

“I’m not getting on that thing.” 

“That thing ? I'm offended. Come on, you’ll be fine.” 

“Evan, no.” 

Buck gets up, making his way over to you. His hands grab yours, looking at you now. “Y/n, I promise you that you’ll be fine. Can we go now ?” 

“I’ll kill you if something happens to you” you grumbled as you reluctantly made your way over to the bike. Buck gets on first, you mirror his actions. Your hands were to your side, Buck reached back and wrapped them around his waist. 

“You good back there ?” 

“As good as I could be.”

-- 

The house, who you assumed belonged to Johnson’s parents, (you had no idea who Johnson was because you barely ever went to the football games) reeked of alcohol and weed. 

Your face didn’t hide your displeasure as well as you thought it had. Buck chuckled as he slung his arm over your shoulder. 

“So is this what you do ?” you shout over the loud music, Buck was saying hello to someone he knew and wasn't paying attention to what you had asked him. 

You manage to wiggle your way out of his grip and find your way to the kitchen. It’s a few minutes later that Buck finds you sipping on a beer. 

“You drink ?” he gives you a questionable look with a smile on his face. 

“You brought me to a party so I'll do what people do at a party” you hum, leaning back against the counter. He finds his way to you, leaning back against the counter too. 

“Enjoying the party ?” 

“Not really, you kinda left me to talk to some guy for twenty minutes” 

“That guy happens to be our star quarterback.” 

“I care why?” you glance up at him. Buck’s face is pure amusement, you aren't sure if you’re the cause of that or something else but the way he's looking at you- you can feel the butterflies again. 

“Buck!” a group of guys shout as they make their way into the kitchen. They all say hello to him, some are drinking, some are shoving chips into their mouths. 

You stay quiet while Buck talks to them and judging by their varsity jackets, it was safe to assume that they were on the team with Buck. 

“Who’s your friend ?” a brunette guy asks him, stepping towards you. 

“I’m y/n, you are?” you ask before Buck could. 

“Mike, call me Johnson.” 

“Oh, so this is your place ? Cute house” you give him a smile, he laughs. 

“How do you know Buck?” Johnson asks, he was nosy for a drunk guy. 

“Just bumped into each other, we have class together” you lie, not sure if Buck wanted them to know how you really met, Buck gives you a small smile. 

“You’re pretty, how about a dance ?” his hand grabs yours. 

“Thanks but no thanks” you give a polite smile before pulling your hand away. 

Johnson takes a step forward, his hand reaching out and grabbing your hip. “C’mon, dance with me” you could smell the alcohol on him- he reeked. You push his hand off, “I said no thank you” you tell him once more, being ever so polite. 

“Y/n, c’mon, one dance baby” he takes another step, he’s now face to face with you. Before you could say anything, Buck is in front of you, between you and Johnson. 

“Dude, she said no. Leave her alone.” 

Buck’s sudden need to protect you was much appreciated. Usually if a guy did that, especially a jock, you’d be weird out because they never pay attention to you- but Buck, you had this indescribable feeling, pride, satisfaction, maybe even relief ? 

“She’s not even your girl, why are you protecting her?” 

“Doesn’t matter, she said no so get out of her fucking face.” Buck’s hand was against his chest, pushing him away as his other hand reached back for yours. It would be cheesy to say that your hand fit in his like it was made to be there but it was true. 

Buck’s hand was still in yours as he pulled you out the back door. Your back was up against the wall as he stood in front of you. 

“Are you okay ?” you could hear the concern in his voice - different from his usual tone. 

At a loss for words, his eyes study your face. Johnson was a douche and he knew that, he mentally cursed himself for even bringing you here. 

“Y/n.. talk to me” he takes a step towards you. 

“Buck,” your hand presses against his chest, “I'm fine. It’s not the first time a drunk guy has hit on me” 

A breath of relief slipped past his lips, “do you want to leave?” his face softens when he asks. “No, I'm alright.” 

“Stay here, I'll be back” his hand comes down and squeezes your waist gently before he steps back into the house. 

--

It was a while before Buck returned. He had disappeared into the house for half an hour and when he returned, you were by the pool with a pingpong ball in hand. 

“Suck it!” your loud laugh filled his ears, you took a sip from the red cup in your hand and you watched as the guy across from you drank the beer in the cup that the ball landed in. 

“Looks like you’re having fun” Buck smiles, now beside you. 

“Hey!” you reeked of beer at this point. “I’m having fun” your words come out in a slurred mumble. 

“Mhm okay, I think it’s time to head home” Buck takes the cup from you and sets it down. 

“What ?” Your hand reaches for the cup again, a pout evident on your face.

Buck’s hands finds your waist, hoisting you up and over his shoulder. A louder than expected gasp left your mouth, you felt the cold breeze against your legs as he walked towards the front of the yard. 

He put you down in the backseat of a car but you knew you came with his bike so you were confused, just as you go to ask, he scoots you over and gets in the back with you. Buck’s arm is over your shoulder, you’re so tired that you just lean into him. 

-- 

You had noticed you fell asleep and when you woke, you were on the porch swing at your house with Buck’s hand in your pocket. 

“Whatcha looking for?” he glances up at you when he hears your voice. 

“Keys.” 

“Other pocket” 

He manages to find the keys and get the door open. Getting you in the house was another story. “Y/n, come on” he pulls your hands in an attempt to get you up but you weren’t budging. 

What happened to you being a prep kid and not drinking ? He didn’t even think it was possible to get drunk that fast. 

“No, tired” you mumbles, making yourself comfortable on the porch swing. “Do you want your parents to come home and find you here? I’m cool with leaving you here if that’s the case” Buck teased, he had no idea when your parents were coming home. 

The mention of your parents finding you outside, drunk, horrified you. You got up so quick, you nearly toppled over. Buck helped you inside and onto the couch. He disappeared for a moment and then returned with a glass of water. 

“Small sips” he settles beside you, watching as you take a sip. You hum, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm comes over your shoulder. 

“Buck?” 

“Yeah?” 

He felt your head shift, now looking up at him, eyes full of sleep. You were studying his face, from the birthmark above his eye to his pink lips.

“I really like you, you know” your words filled with sleep as your eyes drooped, you blinked a few times, forcing yourself to stay awake.

Buck chuckles, “that’ll pass peach, I’m just a phase.” He hummed quietly, fingers running through your hair as you drift to sleep. 

--

The Monday after the party, you saw Buck in the hallway after waking up to an empty house on the couch, head pounding even in the deafening silence and and you can’t quite remember how you got home. 

Buck had been radio silence since then but you weren't sure why. He was walking in from the front doors and you were by your locker. You turn to speak to him but he barely glances at you before continuing his conversation with Johnson. 

From that day, you never spoke to Buck again. Last you saw him was graduation day and last you had heard was that he was in college and you were headed off to Harvard. 

----

Present.

You had become a big shot lawyer, everything your parents wanted. Moved out to LA to start your own firm and everything was going well until this morning. 

You had barely walked into the office when the fire alarm went off. The sudden alarm caused an onset of commotion in the office, the woman next to you bumped into you, spilling your hot cup of coffee onto you. 

She mumbled a sorry as she passed but you could feel the heat coming from where the liquid had spilt. Nonetheless, you made your way out, the sound of the sirens from fire trucks blaring. 

Not that you didn’t enjoy seeing the handsome firefighters (or so your co-workers seem to say) but you had a ton of paperwork to do for an upcoming case you had and you barely started. 

You stood by the curb, watching as the firefighters made their way over to the crowd and into the building to clear it. 

“Ma'am ?” A firefighter made his way over to you, there was a helmet in his hand as he passed a hand through his hair. You glance up from your phone, to see what he wanted. 

“May I take a look?” his eyes shifted to your chest where there is currently a coffee stain on your white shirt. “Oh, thank you but no. I’m fine” 

“Are you sure? Because that’ll leave a pretty nasty mark if you don't get it cleaned. If you aren’t comfortable, we have a female medic” he offered, hoping you’d consider. 

“You’re a medic ?” you asked, looking him up and down. He nods, taking a step back. He begins walking back to the ambulance and you follow him. “Do you want me to get her?” 

“No, you’re a professional, it’s cool” you give him a small smile before moving your shirt so he could check. 

The firefighter’s hand was now right under your collarbone, dabbing at your skin with some gauze. His fingers were cold, you weren’t sure if it was actually his fingers or the gloves that were cold but either way you looked at him. 

“What’s your name ?” 

“Diaz, Eddie Diaz” he tells you, flashing you a smile before going back to his job. 

You hum, staying still as Eddie rubs something on your skin. 

That’s when you saw him. 

The same blue eyes, the same blonde hair, the same gorgeous smile that always played in your mind. Not a day went by that you didn’t think of him. You had always wondered what he ended up doing, he was smart and destined for great things, there was more for him than a small life in a place where no one ever really did anything. 

Every guy you had dated, you compared to him. It was always something- they didn’t look like him, they didn’t act like him, they didn’t treat you the way he did, they wouldn't stand up for you like he did. 

He lived rent free in your mind. 

“Ma'am?” Eddie’s voice broke your gaze. “Y/n,” you corrected him, “ma’am is for old women” your eyes going back to Buck. Eddie noticed your lack of attention and followed your gaze. 

“Do you know Buck?” 

“He still lets people call him that ?” you chuckle to yourself, feeling Eddie’s eyes burning a hole into you. 

Before you could answer, his radio buzzed before a voice came through, “building’s clear. Start directing people back in.” Eddie looks over at you, you’re already getting out of the ambulance. 

“Keep that clean and dry” were his last words to you after you left. 

--- 

It wasn’t until you were back in the building that you realized your phone was in the ambulance. 

You were majorly screwed. 

Remembering the medic’s name which was the only thing you remember mids the confusion and seeing Buck after 10+ years. You asked around the office if anyone knew what station responded to the call. You had contacts that worked for the city but the lack of phone made it hard for you to call and find out. 

Finally giving in, you google the medic’s name. There were a few articles that had photos but none of them said anything that helped. There was a video from Taylor Kelly at channel 8 news, some sort of video about the fire station. 

Station 118- that was 10 minutes down the road and you pass it everyday on the way to work. The thoughts began filling your head, had Buck been there all along? 

12 years- 12 long, empty years that you acted like he didn’t exist and that you didn’t want to know what happened between you two but he was right down the road. 

You didn’t even know if you wanted to talk to him. You had finally come to peace with it even though a part of you will always long for what could have been. Feelings aside, you set out to the station to get your phone. 

Upon arriving, there were a few guys by the trucks. You asked for Eddie, assuming that he might have an idea of where your phone ended up or if they even found it. 

“Up the stairs and he should be somewhere up there” the guy pointed, you thanked him before heading towards the stairs. When you got upstairs, it was empty. 

You weren't sure if you should go back down or wait so you sort of awkwardly stood there, glancing around the room. The station was nicer than you had imagined it to be, not that you really had an idea of what to expect. 

Your back was to the kitchen when someone tapped your shoulder. “Can I help you?” his voice called out as you turned. 

Buck. 

You let out a breath, your eyes studying his perfect face for a moment. Do you say something or just pretend like you didn’t know him?

“Yeah, I'm uh- I'm looking for Eddie. I think I left my phone in the ambulance.” 

“Do I know you from somewhere ?” 

“I work at the building down the road, 14th street. You guys were there earlier, hence the phone in the ambulance” you tell him, hoping he drops the topic. 

“Y/n! Hey! What are you doing here?” You see Eddie call from behind Buck. 

Thank god. 

“I left my phone in the ambulance. I figured you’d know what happened to it” you’ve stepped past Buck and towards Eddie now. “I haven’t seen it, but maybe it’s still in there. Come with me, we can check for it” 

Eddie was making his way down the stairs and you were behind him when Buck called your name. 

Not y/n. 

Peach. 

You paused, taking a deep breath in before turning to face him. “I thought I remembered you from somewhere” he smiled, him and his stupid smile. 

“I’m in a rush, Evan. Plus, I'm not in the mood to reminisce.” 

The smile dropped from his face, the guilt crept up on you. The feeling of your stomach twisting, sighing before making your way down to Eddie who was by the ambulance, your phone in hand. 

“There’s more to the story than I thought,” Eddie hands the phone over, you give him a hum and thank him. “Let me walk you out.” he follows you out to your car. 

“You know, whatever he did- he’s changed. He’s a good guy.” Eddie says, his voice sincere. 

“I know, I just- I don't know” 

“What did he do? If I can ask” 

“We were- I don't know what we were. We hung out in high school, just once but he was different from the other guys. He genuinely cared. We went to a party together and he brought me home after. I remember falling asleep with him in the house and the next morning he was gone. Total radio silence that whole weekend and when I saw him at school the following week, he acted like he didn’t know me - it was like that for the rest of senior year. We never spoke after that.” 

Here you were pouring your heart out to a firefighter who you had only met an hour ago who also had seen your bare chest (in a professional way, of course)  on a Tuesday morning in the parking lot. 

“Wow- I can see why you wouldn’t want to talk to him.”

“Yeah, thank you for the phone though. I gotta get back to work” 

“Wait, let me get your number” 

You pause, looking at him with furrowed brows. He seemed confused then he realized how that sounded. “Oh god- no not like that, sorry. I meant maybe we could grab a drink sometimes, as friends and maybe you could tell me more about high school Buck ?” 

“Um- yes to the number and drinks but I don’t know about Buck” you hand the phone back over to him, telling him that you’d text him. 

--- 

It was a while before you heard from Eddie, he said he was off on Saturday if you were up for drinks and weren't busy. The whole team was going out but he invited you along to join them. 

After some back and forth “I couldn't intrude” and “you won’t be, come join us” you finally gave in. 

Now it’s 9pm and you, Eddie and Buck are sitting at a booth. Coincidentally, everyone else was busy. Chimney and Hen who you hadn’t met yet, were with their significant others and kids. So that left the 3 of you together. 

You wanted to walk back out when you saw it was only the two of them but Eddie had seen you and called you over. His phone buzzed just as Buck came back with drinks. 

“Everything okay?” Buck asked his friend, Eddie, still typing away on his phone. “Huh? Yeah, it’s Carla. Chris is running a fever” you could hear the concern in his voice. 

“Chris is your son?” 

“Yeah- I'm sorry I got to go. I’ll make it up to you. Drinks on me another night” Eddie gave your shoulder a squeeze as he stood. 

“No yeah, of course. Go, it’s fine” you smiled. 

“Let me know if you need anything” Buck shifts towards Eddie, the two of them seem to have some sort of routine or way of how things work between them.  

And now there were two. 

Buck sipped on his beer, you sat across from him, your nails tapping against the bottle in front of you. He was the first one to speak.

“So, how have you been?”

“Good. You?”

“Good too. I don’t know if you remember my sister but she had a baby recently so I've been hanging out with her after work”

“Oh, that’s nice. Maddie right?”

“Yeah, she had a little girl. She’s the cutest little girl ever.” Buck pulls his phone out, showing you a photo of him holding a baby in a blanket with a brunette beside him. The woman beside him, Maddie you assumed, was smiling at Buck, fixing the blanket while he looked at the camera, the joy evident on his face.

“She’s adorable and your sister looks the same, she hasn’t aged a day” you hum, passing the phone over to him.

Back to awkward silence.

“What happened to us?” Buck’s question catches you off guard.

“What happened to us? You happened.”

“What? I thought we were friends.” Your eyes met, his full of confusion and yours with displeasure.

“Friends don’t disappear in the middle of the night with no explanation and ignore them for the rest of senior year.” You get up, grab your phone and make your way to the door. Buck’s calling out to you but you don’t want to stop and talk to him.

The night was cold, the wind hit your bare shoulders and you shivered for a moment before walking. Buck was still calling out your name, he had followed you out the bar.

“Y/n! Stop! Y/n, c’mon. Please!” His hand wrapped around your wrist, holding you in place. You pull your hand back.

“No! You don’t get to do that. Act like everything is fine when you disappeared with no explanation. I know we weren’t best friends but I thought we were at least friends. That fucking hurt, Evan.”

“Fine,” he sighs, looking at you. “You want the truth ?” Your brows raised, waiting for him to continue.

“You told me you liked me. You were a good kid, going to Harvard, which you obviously did” gesturing at you, he continued. “I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to be by my side until I figured it out. I knew you would resent me for that and I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t do it to myself.”

“That’s selfish. It’s about you ? That’s why you left with no explanation ? You couldn’t do it to yourself ? Man the fuck up Buck, life isn’t about you.” 

“You think I don’t know that ?! You think I didn’t think about you all the time? That I didn’t miss you?” 

“Don’t start with that shit. You knew where I would be. You said it yourself, I was “a good kid, going to Harvard” so if you really missed me, you could have found me.” 

“Y/n, be real. We were just out of high school, what means did I have to go searching for you? I had my own shit to deal with.” 

“Just stop, I don’t even want to know.” 

“No, you stop” 

“No you.” 

“Y/n” his voice was stern, the annoyance clearly there. 

“Evan.” your tone matched his.

That stupid smug smile of his was on his face, that was enough to make you roll your eyes. “’Kay, I'm over your shit.” turning away from him, you go to walk away but his hand grabs yours. 

Still fit like it was made to be there. 

Before you could register what was happening, Buck’s lips were on yours. Maybe time stopped when Buck’s lips met yours but your heart didn’t- it felt like it was beating a million times seconds and the butterflies in your stomach were restless. 

It wasn't clear to either of you at the moment that it had started pouring rain but it didn’t matter. There was this raw emotion in the way his hands felt on your waist or how his chest was pressed to yours. 

Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t open his eyes slightly, sneaking a guilty peek at you just to make sure you weren’t a fiction of his imagination. Every breath he took smelt of lavender and honey, the same scent that had lingered on his mind since the day he met you. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him, if that was even possible. 

Maybe this was meant to be, fate bringing back what was meant for him to him or maybe this really was all a fabrication of his imagination but he wanted to live in his moment forever. 

It wasn't until thunder rumbled that he pulled away. The rain had soaked your clothes and hair, your makeup had smudged and half of your lipstick was on Buck. 

The same stupid smug smile on his face.

“God,” rolling your eyes at him. “You’re so annoying.” wiping your lips with the back on your hand, hoping that you got all the lipstick off. 

“Yeah, I'm the annoying one” Buck’s face twisted, giving you a playful shove as you stepped towards him. Your thumb comes up to wipe the lipstick off him. Buck’s arm lifts, now over your shoulder. 

The two of you looked at each other as you made your way down the street. 

“Just a phase huh ?” you hum, glancing at Buck. 

The blonde let out a chuckle, “maybe not.” 

--- 

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @spencersendgame​ @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester21 @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @duhbar1975 @wowitsel @mrspeacem1nusone​ @jillys-feral-fandoms @iris-oaklee-carter-911oc @hailsstormthings @averyhotchner @captainxholmes @venusrosepetal @babybuckleys @looney-literature @caitsymichelle13@artemishunter18​ @may-grants​ @floralbuckleys​ @mrs-dr-reid​

#evan buckley #evan buckley fanfic #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley oneshot #evan buckley fic #evan buckley x y/n #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley x you #buck buckley #evan buck buckely #911 #911 fluff #911 fic #911 fox #911 imagine #911 oneshot #911 x reader #911 reader insert #9-1-1 #9-1-1 reader insert #9-1-1 imagine #9-1-1 oneshot #9-1-1 x reader #9-1-1 fic #9-1-1 fanfiction #9-1-1 fox

[vogelimkafiiig]

Words Soon Regretted

Requested by @levis-one-and-only <3

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Summary: hurt/comfort with Levi after a fight

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! This isn't proofread so please tell me if there's any mistakes 😅 More or less Levi's POV I think?? Haven't written in over a month bc of uni so here's me breaking my writers block yee haw

Levi found himself regretting the words he'd said as soon as they'd slipped out his mouth. He hadn't meant it, he'd just been worked up after a long day of dealing with MP bastards sticking their noses in places they didn't need to.

You had only been trying to help him, asking him if he had eaten, if he'd had enough to drink. And here he was shouting at you to leave him alone, that he was sick of you nagging after him day and night. He really hadn't meant it.

His heart was so full of love for you and the way you cared so deeply for him, yet he couldn't help the way it clenched and sank as he watched your wide eyes blur over with tears. Your voice trembled lightly as you apologized, not hesitating to scurry away so he wouldn't notice the tears spilling down your cheeks.

"Shit," he swore under his breath, kicking the tip of his boot against his desk in frustration. He groaned, rubbing a roughened palm down his face. He couldn't leave you like that without apologizing. The thought of you crying yourself to sleep made him feel as though he was suffocating.

Steadying himself with a deep breath, Levi left his office and set out to find you. His mind was running with all the places you might have gone to. Your room, perhaps? No, your roommate would be back by now and there was no way in hell you'd let anyone see you cry. The mess hall? Too public.

His mind suddenly flickered back to something you'd told him once while dragging him by the hand in the dead of night, away to the place you'd told him you always go to when you wanted to be alone. He turned on his heels, picking up speed in the direction of the stables. Above them was a second floor where the spare hay was stored, a large spacious loft with a wide window that faced the moon at night.

As the loft came into view, he noticed a figure in the window. Being almost midnight, it was too dark to make out any features, but Levi knew it wouldn't have been anyone but you.

He made his way over to the ladder, almost throwing himelf up the rungs to get to you. As he pulled himself to his feet at the top, Levi looked over to see you nestled into a stack of hay, looking up at the partially cloud-shadowed moon through glistening eyelashes.

Without saying so much as a word, Levi slowly made his way toward you, trying not to spook you. When you finally heard his footsteps approaching you flinched a little, afraid that someone had caught you crying, but when you realised who it was you only sighed and turned away to face the window again.

"Room for one more?" he spoke softly, nodding his head in the direction of the pile of hay you were curled up in.

You said nothing, didn't even spare him a glance, but still shifted over slightly, making room for him. Levi sunk down next to you, folding his legs to the side.

"Listen- about what I said-" he began.

"No, really it's fine. I'm sorry for bothering you so much. I'll try not to do it again." Your voice was unstable as you fought back a sob, clenching your jaw and hiding yourself from him.

"Shit, no. It's me who's sorry. I just had a really shitty day and I took it all out on you even though you were just being thoughtful. I'm sorry I don't appreciate you enough. You deserve someone who won't snap at you for being nice, someone who isn't afraid to accept help when they need it. I don't expect you to forgive me, but please just know that I never forget the things you do for me. The way you spent time learning exactly how I brew my tea just so you can make it for me when I'm stressed. The way you stay with me in my office at stupid hours of the night while I do my paperwork just so I'm not alone. The way you never forget to make me eat when I've been too busy to do it on my own. I love you. I love everything about you. Even the smallest things, I'm grateful for it all. You never bother me. In fact, I can barely focus unless I have you with me. I really am sorry for the way I treated you. It was all a lie out of anger, but you deserve someone who won't talk to you like that in the first place."

When Levi tore his eyes from the floorboards he nearly flinched. You had finally turned to face him, eyes wide open in shock. He felt his stomach turn at the tear streaks that shone down your face, knowing that it was him who caused them.

"Levi," you squeaked out. "I would never want anybody but you. I love you too, more than anything." You pause, thoughtful. "You really didn't mean it? I don't annoy you?"

"Walls, no, you could never. I truly, truly love you."

You sniffled again, fresh tears spilling and Levi couldn't hold himself back any longer. He closed the distance between you, pulling you tight into his arms and tucking your head into his neck.

"Shhh, shhh, you're alright, sweetheart. I've got you now. I'm so sorry. I love you more than anything." He cooed gently into your ear, switching between sweet words and pressing gentle kisses to your hairline all the while. His hand, spread broad, brushed up and down your spine, soothing you with his gentle strokes.

After a moment Levi finally felt you begin to calm, shaky breath evening out. You dipped your head and left a tender kiss between his neck and shoulder. In turn, Levi slipped his hands onto each cheek and carefully tilted you up to face him until he was cupping your face in his hands. He swiped his thumbs over your cheeks, smudging any traces of tears left behind.

"There's my angel," he breathed, moving one thumb to trace your lower lip. You blinked at him through wet lashes, subconsciously leaning into his touch. "C'mere," he almost whispered, bringing you toward him and meeting you in the middle with a soft swipe of his lips against yours.

He felt as though he could have cried as you melted into him. Levi found himself thanking whatever gods might be out there over and over for your presence, for your undying patience that he'd never deserve. He loved you so desperately it hurt him.

Levi didn't know what he'd done to deserve you, but whatever it was he knew he'd do it over and over again for you.

He broke the kiss, resting his forehead and nose against yours for a moment.

"C'mon," he smiled. "Let's go to bed, yeah?"

You nodded in agreement and returned his smile, heart fluttering in gratitude that Levi was putting the paperwork aside for the night to devote himself to you.

With a renewed twinkle in his eyes, Levi swept you up into his arms, carrying you away laughing into the night to remind you just how much he loved you.

#levi ackerman x reader