#and i hope that remains true. but ultimately i think that's also why i don't personally want pryce to have a post-canon narrative at all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bonbonchocolates · 5 months

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Mi Amor

Yandere Idol Jimin x Reader

Summary: You are attending a BTS fanmeet for the first time. Nothing can go wrong right?

Warnings: yandere Jimin, stalking, kidnapping, obsessive behaviour, obsession at first sight

A/N: Again originally from my Wattpad account. I hope you like it and if you do please leave a like.

Masterlist

____________________________________________

Y/N's POV:

I'm so excited. My dream is finally about to come true.

Which dream? You may ask.

To meet BTS.

Yes, BTS the number one boyband in the world. The most famous kpop group in the world. It was the first group which got me into kpop.

And now kpop is my life. Especially BTS, I love them. They are just amazing, fabulous, fantastic and so on.

I love them so much that I don't have any perfect words to describe them. They are just perfect. Each and every member is perfect.

And now I have a chance to meet them. I finally got a chance to attend their fansign. After waiting for so many years I got the golden chance, I'm not letting it go.

I can't describe how excited I was to meet them. Especially Jimin, he has been my bias since I started stanning BTS. Though I liked all the members Jimin was my favourite.

You may ask how I got a chance to attend BTS' fansign.

Actually now I live in South Korea for job purposes. I have been living here for almost two years.

You may think that I'm like other fan girls, who want to live and work in South Korea just because of BTS. But it is not like that. Maybe luck was on my side that I got a transfer to South Korea.

____________________________________________

I was finally in the fansign. Truth to be told I was pretty excited but also hella nervous. I don't want to embarrass myself in front of them. I'm really clumsy sometimes so I can't guarantee what I will do when.

I just wanted to take autographs of all the members and maybe have a small chat with them if they would like to.

____________________________________________

Currently I am in the middle of the fansign and I already took autographs and had a conversation with five of the members, RM, Suga, Jin, Jhope and Jungkook. They are all so kind and hilarious. Just as I thought they would be.

I tried to remain calm outside but I was dying from inside. My dream finally came true. I can't describe how happy you were.

Right now I was standing in front of V but his full attention was on Jungkook.

As expected.

Jimin noticed it and then indicated him to look at me. Just then V turned towards me with a huge smile.

We talked for a few minutes and truth to be said he was hilarious. I loved him.

Maybe I might change my bias.

Just joking.

Jimin was my bias, is my bias and will forever be.

Back from my nonsense.

Now I am standing in front of Jimin, my bias. Oh God I feel like I'll faint. He is so handsome.

Control Y/N, Control!

"Hi"

He greeted.

"Hi"

I greeted him back.

"What's your name?"

"Y/N"

"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

He complimented me. I couldn't stop from blushing.

"Thank you. You look handsome too."

We both talked for quite long time when he suddenly asked me something unexpected.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Wha-

Is it even allowed.

"N-no I don't."

I shuttered.

Now you may think that why did I shutter?

My ultimate bias asked me that do I have a boyfriend or not. So it's obvious for me to shutter.

Then you heard Jimin muttering something under his breath but I couldn't hear it. Jimin again gave a huge smile to me.

Before I could bid him goodbye he called me.

"Y/N"

"Yes"

"Gimme your hand"

It was more like a command rather than the a simple request.

But still I gave him my hand. He then held my wrist and kept a small piece of paper on my palm and closed my fist.

After that he winked at me. I felt like I was about to die.

I quickly left from there. I went outside and opened my fist and took out the chit of paper and saw it was a phone number.

Wha-

My bias gave me his phone number. I couldn't believe it. Is is normal for him to give his fan his phone number or am I special?

Stop Y/N. What are you even thinking?

Though I guess I have his phone number, I'm definitely not going to call him. You may already know the reasons.

I couldn't stop thinking about what happened in the fansign. I can't wait to say about all that happened in the fansign to my friend.

She even gave me a dare that none of the members will even talk to me and here we are where I have my bias phone number. I won't be able to stop bragging about it to her.

Wait-

I have my bias phone number.

Am I dreaming?

____________________________________________

Jimin's POV:

I am getting bored here. We just had to sit here and greet the fans and do nothing. I just wanted to go home. Above that some of the fangirls were so annoying.

Though I didn't want to be here still I tried to put a smile on my face while greeting the fans. I need to maintain the good image in front of the public. I know that all the members are feeling the same but still they controlled their feelings.

Being a idol was pretty hard.

Just then I saw a girl talking to Jungkook. She seemed different. She was not soo beautiful but in my eyes she was perfect.

Maybe this is what they call 'Love at first sight'.

Then she came to Tae and I couldn't stop but stared at her. She was just perfect. When she smiled my heart stopped. Everything in life seemed perfect. In a few minutes I'm madly in love with a girl who I never met with in my life.

I couldn't stop but admire the way she laughed at Tae for something hilarious he said. But still I felt jealous of Tae because it was me who was supposed to make her laugh not him.

After that she came to me. We talked for a few minutes, this few minutes felt like forever. I wanted talk more to her but still I had to let her go. She was even my ideal type.

Her name was Y/N. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Before she could even leave I gave her a chit of paper which contained my phone number in it.

I know it's not allowed but still I don't want her to go. It's okay as long as no one knows.

Right?

I hope she calls me.

I'll be waiting for your call, my love.

____________________________________________

After a week:

Y/N's POV:

I was returning home from the convenience store after buying a pack of ramen. I don't want to cook right now.

I'm very lazy.

I was coming on my food because the apartment where I stay is only a few minutes away from the convenience store. Secondly the neighborhood I stay was pretty much safe.

So I don't need to worry.

Right?

I was halfway on my way to home when I felt like someone was following me but when I turned back there was no one. I sighed in relief.

After a few steps I again felt like someone was following me and when I turned back I found a figure in black behind me.

I got tense and increased my pace. Just then I felt a hand on my waist. The person pulled me against his rock like hard chest.

Before I could even shout, the person put a cloth on my face. My vision was slowly blurring.

"Sleep, my love."

_________________________________________

Borahae 💜

#yandere #yandere bts #yandere jimin #jimin #jimin x reader #yandere jimin x reader

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jaydencoolguy · 3 months

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George's Relationship with his Father

I have some thoughts about the relationship George McFly has with his dad, Arthur McFly. I'll put it under a cut because it's gonna get long. And I mean long.

Okay, while watching a playthrough of the BTTF game I noticed that George says this:

"Hey, sometimes you gotta go out on a limb for the ones you love, right? I wish MY dad had understood that."

I'm like, "Woah, what? What's his relationship with his father like???" So I head over to the wiki and find THIS:

"Here we see that Arthur is about as wimpy and spineless as George since he gives his son many pathetic reasons not to attend such as college being hard and his grades that he received in school. He even tells George that he will never succeed in life with his current grades and such which could be the primary reason why George becomes a pushover in the original 1985."

Furthermore, he's described to be "a dead ringer for 1955 George in looks, voice, and personality."

Obviously George doesn't (or didn't, since he's implied to be dead) have a very good relationship with his father. But what's really interesting about this is the fact that they're practically the same personality-wise. (They're both pathetic, pushovers, doormats, etc.) Do you think that George sort of resents himself for acting the way he does (or did, in the case of the new timeline)? Because he hurt others the way his dad hurt him, since his actions reflect his father's? God, that's sad to think about.

You would think, in the case of the original 1985, that he would actively try to stray away from being like his father, but obviously, he failed. This is true to real life generational trauma, in which you swear you will never end up like your parents, but you do anyway because the way they treat you and act sticks with you. Yeah, you get the point right?

George's dreams got shot down by his father, and in the original 1985, he didn't have the courage to stand up for himself. Arthur never stood up for him either; and George ends up just like him, albeit more passive... at least he lets Marty do whatever he wants for the most part. Speaking of which, I think Marty serves as an interesting parallel to George's relationship with Arthur, since Marty actually gains a lot of courage and confidence due to the fact that his father is a pushover. George loses more of his sense of self worth because of his dad, since he never believed in or helped him. As a result, he never tries to achieve his dreams and remains unmotivated.

Now let's switch gears to the new 1985. Because of Marty's help, George gains the courage to stand up to his bullies and thus, becomes a more confident person. He gets motivated to do better. I'd like to think that because of this, George also stands up to his dad as well, becoming more successful in the process. I think that he sort of wanted to stick it to his dad, to prove that he can be successful and that he could do anything he set his mind to. This probably pushes George to work harder, which ultimately pays off as seen in the ending of Back to the Future 1. He had achieved his dream as a writer and had a better life overall. However, it seems that George's success hadn't changed his father one bit, as seen in the clip I included above. Even though George ended up happier and wealthier, it didn't mend his relationship with his dad. I don't think Arthur is necessarily a bad person, but he could've definitely been a better father.

This is an almost tragic part of George's character, even in the fixed timeline. It demonstrates how you could be similar, yet so different from your parents. How the way they treat you impacts the way you act, depending on your circumstances and the way you view yourself. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this worthless ramble!!!

#Hopefully this turns some gears... if you ever make anything based off my ideas I'd love to see!#Feel free to add onto this post too!!#back to the future #bttf #bttf the game #back to the future the game #george mcfly #arthur mcfly #marty mcfly #bttf analysis #writing #jayden speaks #jaydens postings

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thearchercore · 3 months

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Though I feel like Charles is distancing himself a little because he can, I also want to go back to your great discourse on why Charles would be a good fit for RB, and the point about him saying he'd leave if he doesn't believe in the project anymore.

I'm sure he feels that way, but ultimately I feel like Ferrari need him more than ever, and they will do anything to make Charles believe in the project. Fred at the helm, telling Charles every year that the car next year will be incredible! Sure he can drive the sim himself, but Ferrari will absolutely give him reassurances. Whether he can see beyond his love for the team and see through the bullshit, I don't know, but I hope he can. It's hard though (for any driver) because they don't see the engineering side. Look at Merc in 2022. They rocked up thinking their no side pod design was revolutionary and Lewis and George were probably told it was super fast. But it wasn't.

Charles is never going to hear from Fred, "Hey actually we fucked up next year's car".

Every year Charles will be told 'next year is our year'. As fans, it's become our catch phrase. And we all hope it'll be true one day. He does, for sure. And the potential of winning with Ferrari is so incredible, it's worth hoping for.

But how will he really know when he doesn't believe in the project anymore? I wonder if he has a number of years in his head, or specific targeted goals. Curious what would be the final straw for him to not believe anymore.

tbh, he admitted for the first time only a possibility of leaving in late 2023 when he said that "if he no longer believes the project, he will leave." and that's his way of saying that he will be dedicated to ferrari as he always wanted to but ONLY if they deliver back on their promises.

there seem to be many changes over at ferrari, a lot of internal restructuring, fred also said he wants to separate policial influence on the team, and he also recently hired ex-rb engineers for further development so yeah, he's trying.

the question mainly remains -- will it be enough? we have to wait and see but charles definitely has exit clauses he could activate if ferrari keeps failing him

#lestappen gate 2023 #charles leclerc

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wolfythewitch · 1 year

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please do ramble, whats your sbi and sleeping at last association? i really need to know now, that you mentioned it

Okokokok it follows the same directions as the anemoi ones

I'll start with Phil again, and West by sleeping at last, and this time it's more c!Phil than h!Phil

Can you hear me screaming

Can you hear the sandduo fan in me breaking down

The first verse also feels very reminiscent of before he joined the server, back when they would just send letters to each other. And god these verses

I've talked about cphil before, and I've talked about his grief before, and Wilbur Does Not Leave his mind, from November 16th till his revival he hasn't stopped thinking about it. He's thought about it so much that the dude, who's never usually vulnerable, even asks ranboo if what he did was right, one of the times he was emotionally vulnerable in character. I also think it's really neat that Techno built a home in the north and gave Phil a compass that points to it, it's a really neat coincidence. His character also feels very lost in a way? I made a playlist once where I ordered the songs to follow a story, but I left it unfinished because he felt unfinished, forever stuck in some sort of grief (sidenote I need to finish that playlist now that the finale happened) and I think the line about true north fading is pretty neat

So like the oh hellos post, Techno is East, and you can probably see for yourself why I picked it haha

"now I bear little resemblance to the king I once was" is definitely the line that feels very c!techno I think, and "the years wore on and changed my heart, the leading role for a smaller part"

There is the intentional change, with him trying to stay away from violence and retiring, albeit later on going back to violence. But there's also the unintentional part, the one that came more naturally when he found friends. I mean Phil has always been his friend, but now there's Niki and Ranboo, and I mean there was even a hint of a reconciliation with Tommy. Something about having started out trying to go at it alone, and in the end having surrounded yourself with people that care.

So for Wilbur, he gets South.

Wilbur is very associated with lies I think, as a wordsmith. He lies to others and he lies to himself, and I don't think all of it he didn't believe. But also both Phil and Wilbur having lines about losing true north? Oughh. What I really like though is the last few verses

Because these ones are gentler, these ones are kinder. And Wilbur ultimately does try in a way to heal, in the end.

Soo that leaves Tommy with North.

Which I think works really well! A line Tommy has repeated over and over again was that L'manburg was the people, not the government or the land. It was the community.

C!Tommy, I think, is hope. He is kindness, and second chances. Because with everything that's happened to him, he hasn't stopped being kind. He hasn't grown hard with the times, he's remained as open and as vulnerable as he was, even as he grows more scarred. He hasn't stopped caring for the people he loves, because if you stop letting yourself love, what will you have left

#jiksvokrat #wolfy tedtalks #this one os a bit more incompressible my bad ive had 3 hours of sleep #but i love sleeoing at last brbrbrbhd

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p3ta · 5 days

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gotta send Ryoji Mochizuki

Thanks for the ask! Hope your day's going well, fellow Ryoji enjoyer.

Spoilers below for P2, P3, P4, and P5R.

Send me one of these here!

First, I want to give some thoughts on his character as a whole. For the certain type of character he is (doomed, remorseful harbinger), Ryoji Mochizuki is perfect. I don't think there's a better Persona twist than his reveal as the the Appriser/Death, the thirteenth Arcana Shadow. Just because a twist is easy to see coming doesn't make it less impactful, and I particularly enjoy the way Persona 3 distills information to the player in allotments. Even knowing that, Ryoji managed to surprise me with how much more he was. And fittingly, a lot of Ryoji's characterization bounces back to the P3 Hero, and vice versa.

On top of that, Nyx Avatar is my favorite final boss in the entire Persona series and unsettled me out the first time. I'd still say that Nyx Avatar causes me more fear than the Reaper, who I'd comparatively describe as inciting panic rather than fear.

Ryoji is frequently compared to Kaworu from Neon Genesis Evangelion (NGE), and, well. Yeah. I believe I read that in a developer interview that the P3 dev team deliberately took inspiration from NGE but I'm unable to find a source at hand, so don't quote me on that. Between the two, I prefer Ryoji. He is the strongest out of the character type for me.

favorite thing about them

His layers! Ryoji is one of those late game characters who comes in and recontextualizes all the information you've learned thus far. It's why I love watching the Dictionary update throughout a playthrough. I understand why people are put off by the way he's introduced as a serial flirt, but Reload made it much more textually clear that this isn't his true personality, nor his intentions. Ryoji is proto-Teddie (Japanese Teddie, anyway); a fully formed individual who sprang into existence seeking connection. However, where Teddie's isolation and lack of identity are his defining characteristics, Ryoji's are moored in how connected he is with P3 Hero.

Ryoji ultimately only exists because of that connection, that little bit of humanity he's been given, but that's also what prevents him from being fully human. He's had a role to play since his inception, and he can't avoid that even with his newfound connections.

Ryoji's present throughout the entire story. You've got Pharos at the very beginning with the contract running errands for the Velvet Room (I like it more and more that I think about it. Picture Elizabeth or Igor having to explain to this terrifying child what he has to say. Or maybe he knew what to say all along! He has been waiting ten years), Thanatos tearing himself out of Orpheus (by far the best Persona awakening in the series and a textual highlight for what an alien force he is), and a crucial lynchpin event for Yukari's backstory, Mitsuru's backstory, as well as the crucial event for Aigis and P3 Hero.

There is no version of Persona 3 without Ryoji and I'm all the happier for it. Genuinely, if something's confusing with P3's story, there's 90% chance the answer is Ryoji or one of his many numerous forms. The remaining 10% is the Kirijo Group. That said, we don't get a lot of time with Ryoji. Ultimately, he's a part of P3 Hero and you're left to extrapolate exactly how much of each other you believe they've influenced.

Sogabe, the P3 & P4 mangaka, chose to highlight how similar Ryoji and P3 Hero look. I consider it an essential element of their relationship together.

least favorite thing about them

It'd be cheating to say nothing, wouldn't it? I'd say that his design is easy to mock and hard to get right in fanart. Between Ryoji's forehead and very Axel Kingdom Hearts approach towards long limbs – and legs in specific – the movies did not help with this. I've read reviews saying how the higher budget allowed for the characters to be more consistently on model, and thus look better, but I fervently disagree. That boy is mostly leg. Late 00s and early 10s anime art Looked Like That, though. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a soft spot for some of it.

But I love how Ryoji looks and wouldn't change it for the world. Silly slick-backed hair boy. It is funny how whenever Persona wants a villain with sympathetic qualities, they slick back the protagonist's hair (Philemon and Maruki come to mind).

Reload fixed ("fixed") this anyway but making him much fluffier in his portraits and giving his skin some color! He's achingly soft in that game.

favorite line

There's many iconic ones I could pick but I'm going to go with a new one from Reload:

It's so small, it's so playful! I like that if you choose to start an exchange he finishes the bit. It says a lot about him in such a succinct way.

Even more so when you consider the reason he came here was for Junpei's sake. Being able to balance joking around while keeping a touch of concern endears me beyond belief. Thank you, Reload.

brOTP

Junpei & Ryoji. It's not even close. This was the one element I was hoping Reload would show more and I was not disappointed! The dynamic is good for a variety of reasons, but chief among them is that despite Junpei's Persona being Magician Arcana, he is not the P3 Hero's Magician Social Link. Junpei is not the male protagonist's best friend. He clearly wants to be, but his frustration is palpable. The P3 Hero is cool, charming, and everything that Junpei plays second fiddle to, but he won't even acknowledge him. But what if there were a more likeable version of the Hero?

Instant friendship. Those two are besties from day one, where Ryoji has all the qualities but none of the knowledge, and so their dynamic is a much more even one. To me, it indicates how well Junpei and the P3 Hero might have gotten along had he not carried Death inside him for ten years. It's a brief window into another world.

There's also the fact that Ryoji, Death, befriends Junpei so close to when Takaya shoots him and he perishes. His character arc is defined by change, this act being what radically transforms his soul, and what's one of the meanings of the Death Tarot? It's like universal foreshadowing. It's funny to me too that the Magician Arcana Shadow is the one Thanatos tore to pieces. Growth for Ryoji too.

As an aside, I miss the dynamic movements from the PS2 cutscenes. Junpei being so quick to drown Ryoji is nowhere comparable to him covering Ryoji's mouth.

OTP

Hmm. This might take a second. I wonder what pairing I might like with Ryoji. Here's an unrelated picture of Messiah:

You know, Messiah is one of those Personas that has only grown on me more as time passes. My favorite of the final protagonist ones, due in part to how you have to fuse him yourself. Orpheus, the starting Persona, combined with the power of Thanatos, the penultimate manifestation of the Death Arcana. They compliment each other beautifully, and regardless of if you the player create him, he is always the true final Persona, the final result of the Judgement Arcana.

They are inevitable.

Of course it's Ryoji and P3 Hero. How could it be anything else? These two make me sick with joy. Death has a clear favorite and in the end, gets to keep him forever.

nOTP

It's funny, because I can't think of any serious pairing with Ryoji that I wouldn't view as a crack ship? I can't see any version of Ryoji with anyone but the P3 Hero nor can I take that relationship seriously. The only other being Ryoji has an established relationship with is Aigis, and that ship comes across as black comedy. I mean, there's also Ryoji and the P3 Heroine, who he is undoubtedly head over heels for, but I see her as heavily preferring Aigis. Oops.

Wait, I did remember one! Ryoji and Junpei! I'll admit, maybe it's the sheer "dudebro" vibe of their relationship, but people pairing these two was not an outcome I expected from Reload. I've seen it enough to know those who like it aren't joking, either.

It's funny, because they're both soul-taken at the tail end of their friendship (Ryoji with P3 Hero and Junpei with Chidori) so I guess I wasn't looking for it? Then again I can't see Junpei Iori kissing a man in general. If there's a Ryoji pairing that isn't my thing, these two are the Most not my thing.

random headcanon

Ryoji memory backfill!

I've seen multiple interpretations for how Ryoji's sudden transfer, housing, and parental situations were never questioned. I like exploring this for myself, especially from Ryoji's perspective. Ryoji fully believes himself to be human until 12/2's Dark Hour. So, how does he reconcile his own situation?

This headcanon states that whenever Ryoji is prompted to answer on where he lives, what he likes, or where he went to school before, he'll often "backfill" what memories he think should be there. If it's something he should reasonably know, it'll be there.

In-game you can see a couple instances of Ryoji being stumped at simple questions, like where his class trip was going to be, but excelling at others, such as when he asks Mitsuru out to a restaurant date. According to the headcanon, he failed the class trip question because it wasn't something he anticipated, but he knew a date location because it was essential to his personality. Ryoji Mochizuki is a hearthrob, it wouldn't make sense if he didn't. So he does.

I like to think Reload Ryoji's phone is another example of this backfill, though this one spills over into material items. Ryoji thinks he should have a phone and knows he should ask for others' numbers, but when he reaches for it on his first day it isn't there.

His inconsistencies are fun.

Rapid fire small ones: his favorite color is blue, he likes sunrises but not sunsets, and he's good with children.

unpopular opinion

This may be the most unpopular opinion I have in general, but I don't believe Ryoji is bisexual. Or rather, I don't necessarily believe he must be bisexual. It's not like I'm trying to shirk representation, but I think there are so many fascinating ways that you can analyze orientation for a character. Same with gender.

Ryoji, through my interpretation, is someone who could only love the protagonist. And it doesn't have to be a sexual kind of love. There's an entire spectrum of identities in our culture that we've labeled for what Ryoji's experiences could be. It brings me joy to be able to think about how – even if Ryoji knew about these identities – he'd define himself. On top of that, would how he define himself be accurate? Would he have misunderstandings about his own identity?

There tends to be a large backlash when someone even suggests a different label for a character with one widely agreed upon, which means my gender and sexuality thoughts stay hidden away. I'm more than aware of those that insist any hint of same-sex attraction is obviously platonic and fans are reading too much into things. I'd never want to take away from an individual identifying with a character for what a fandom settles on calling them.

Though one note: it's interesting to me that from the collective opinion I've seen, people have latched onto bisexual as a label rather than pansexual despite them ostensibly meaning the same thing. Something something changing social climate. Anyway. Play around with character gender and sexuality. It's good for you.

song i associate with them

Auld Lang Syne.

For old acquaintance be forgot

And ne'er brought to mind

Should old acquaintance be forgot

In the days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear

For auld lang syne

We'll drink a cup of kindness yet

For the sake of auld lang syne

It's a traditional New Year's celebration song. Auld Lang Syne essentially means "for old time's sake". It originates from a precursor to Scottish, and exists as a fossil word inside this otherwise Standard English prose. I find it sweet how this little, historic piece gets to survive through something that redefines it.

favorite picture of them

Well, that was a lot. If you have a keen eye, you might've already noticed I've been dropping in pictures so I'll keep this part concise.

My favorite pictures of Ryoji are his portraits:

Sweet. Fluffy. Endlessly endeared by the way his hair flairs out. A much clearer heart shape for his face. Perfection. Special mention to his startled expression. His eyes get small and I get happy, simple as that.

Although, I'll never forgive Reload for dropping his Messiah pose:

There's an element to this portrait that's a little more unearthly, but earnest. Visually, his eyes are also a clearer parallel to Aigis's in this version.

Thank you for reading all the way through! And thank you again for the ask. I'm not sure if you were expecting an essay, but I think that about sums it up.

Have a picture of Ryoji nui + charm!

#asks #ryoji mochizuki #🔫#🌕#it took me eleven days to answer this that does not bode well for the others #elle-p's nomenclature is spreading #thanks Ver!#happy mochizuki monday #very-lucky

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stxrvel · 1 year

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isn't it strange? (4)

series summary: you woke up from a long coma with no memory of a part of your life only to be told by your teammates that you're married to the man you hated seven years ago. even though that seemed to be the only problem, as time goes on you're realizing there's a lot more history and mystery behind the accident that left you in medical care for months. blackouts, more memory loss, mistrust and a strange man who seems to be connected to everything. every day it gets harder to trust anyone around you, but you won't stop until you can finally uncover the truth behind the accident.

chapter summary: when you thought you were having the time of your life, an unknown man appeared in you life to shake everything you know to the ground.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: i don't know 😭

warnings: just curse words, and drama.

note: so it's finally here, and i can't believe it. i don't know if i'm proud of it, or if i'm feeling meh about it. i have mixed feelings. but what is actually important is that i managed to make it out alive and you guys have what you've been waiting for (hope so). also, i edited this in a rush in class, so sorry for any mistake. anyway, wish you all like this one, don't forget feedback is appreciated!! and let me know what you think about this part! 💜💜

masterlist | next | series masterlist

You kept your gaze on Bucky as Clint's eyes scanned your face. Your husband was standing in front of Dr. Cho with Tony Stark at his side, impassive. Interesting things they were talking about, so that not even the wind or your furtive glances could cause the black-haired man to avert his gaze. Surely it was something to do with you, with your state of health and such things, maybe. You had stopped paying attention a few days ago, even though it had barely been a week since you had woken up without remembering anything.

And you still couldn't do it, remember, though… You had never felt so good. Well, you couldn't know if you'd ever felt this way either. You probably had, but at that moment it was an unmatched feeling. To know everything that had happened and yet your body, your spirit and your whole being continued to fight to stay in this world. You didn't know what things delved deep into your mind, where not even your thoughts reached, where the true unconscious lay. Neither you nor the medicine knew. Whatever was going on, it was still a mystery.

And yet, even though all the circumstances had been surrounded by the suffering of others and hopeless tears, what you were trying to do since you were fully aware of the situation was to be extremely positive and to always be grateful. Ultimately, too many bad things had happened for you to get to that moment, but you couldn't just sit around mourning for a heart that would no longer return. Tears and screaming wouldn't bring you back to the past, no one could bring things back to the way they were, so why spend time on it? Instead, you could meet everything for the first time once again and create new memories with each of the exceptional people who surrounded you.

“What are you thinking about?” the voice of Clint echoed in the back of your head.

Bucky. Bucky was still with his serious face in front of Dr. Cho. You didn't know if his lack of expression was good or bad. Even in Tony's face you couldn't find any emotion.

“What I'd like to go into town on,” you replied crossing your arms without averting your gaze. “Maybe shopping or something.”

“Wouldn't you just like to go for a walk?”

You hummed thoughtfully, your mind split in two trying to continue the conversation with your partner normally while remaining fully focused on your husband.

“Maybe, but I like the idea of bringing things back that will allow me to remember the places I've been better.”

“Ah,” Clint nodded, you saw him out of the corner of your eye move his head to where you were looking. “You want to buy souvenirs.”

You nodded silently.

“When I walk into my room in this Complex it's too empty. I don't know if it was like this forever, but being in there makes me feel so lonely.”

“I think Bucky packed a lot of your things after the accident, when you wouldn't wake up. Even later he told you where they were stored in case you wanted to unpack them, but I don't think you ever did.”

“Yes, he told me something similar. But I don't want the old stuff, I want something new. I want different things. I don't want to think about who I was and the things I had because I'm never going to be able to remember what they meant to me. I have no choice but to tie new emotions to other memories.”

Clint didn't respond, but you felt his gaze on yours as the three people in front of you began to approach at a slow pace, with more words coming out of Dr. Cho's mouth. You were gnawing deep inside curious as to how much of what they were talking about because, even though it had to be, you didn't want to confirm that it was about you. And you doubted it because when the doctor gave you the progress of your studies she didn't take more than twenty seconds talking, but she always seemed to have more to tell the others.

Maybe it was just as well.

When Bucky finally looked at you, his eyes sparkled. Standing closer to your position, you could tell that his expression softened and there was no trace of any discomfort. Tony, next to him, couldn't relax as much as he would've liked.

The conversation died as soon as they reached your auditory space, as it did every time. Dr. Cho gave you a tight-lipped smile and bowed slightly before heading for the entrance to the Complex.

“Ah, my two favorite quacks,” Tony greeted, his jocular expression coming back to life as if it had been plucked from ice water.

“Stark,” Clint barely murmured.

You resigned yourself to silence, not looking away from the man's eyes that saw deep inside you. Somewhere, deep, deep, deep down in your soul, you felt something stir.

“Is Carol back yet?” Tony inquired into the air, surely to Clint who might be the only one too focused to answer him.

“Supposed to be,” the blond nodded, his head moving to watch the sky. “She gave notice at headquarters a little while ago that she was on her way.”

“With good news?”

Clint cocked his head to one side, silence taking hold for a few seconds.

“Something like that.”

“Well, I'll go find out,” Tony shook his shoulders, and as if on cue, Clint stretched out on the beach chair before rising. “You coming, Barnes?”

“No.”

When Clint moved far enough away, Bucky plopped down in the chair the blond had been occupying, just inches away from yours. In the middle of the green field outside the Complex, Tony barely sighed.

“Okay, I'll see you guys later.”

And without further ado, the pair departed in the direction of the interior of the facility.

“What were you guys talking about with Dr. Cho?” you couldn't help but ask.

Your gaze focused on Bucky's face, something you could almost never avoid. Automatically, wherever you were, your eyes always found the melodious face of the man who had married you. It was intriguing to acknowledge that you had no memory of him, but your body leaned toward him and your muscles demanded to be near him as if they could remember what your mind couldn't.

Surely it was so.

“Tony wanted to make sure we had the medical supplies we needed for any emergency.”

“It was too long a conversation for you to talk about just that.”

“We need many, many, supplements.”

You hummed a nod, unconvinced.

“What were you and Clint talking about?” the man took the direction of the conversation and turned to look at you, cocking an eyebrow.

“Ah, if you only knew,” you made an exaggerated version of the you-won't-believe-it expression as you spun around on the chair to face him. “Clint is a professional talker. He told me so much about his life that I could pass a best friend test right about now. I feel like I know his family personally because of so many things he told me.”

The man next to you let out a short laugh, causing you to slam your mouth shut. You watched his shoulders shift slightly, his body sinking into the gray cushions of the chair, his shoulders slack and his expression much calmer than before. You had spent almost every day since you woke up trying to wrest that expression and that sound from Bucky. Every moment of the day he looked so stressed and overwhelmed and so unwilling to hold on to life that you felt it was the least you could do. Besides, you also liked doing it… and listening to him.

You didn't know if it was because it was really that easy or just because it was you and you were a natural, but you found it very easy to cheer up his face with a comment or two. To be honest, you had never seen the others in the group make him laugh so you guessed it was more the latter.

“There was no need to drown me in sarcasm.”

“And you didn't have to lie to me.”

Bucky screwed up his face at incalculable speed.

“I didn't lie to you.”

“You weren't talking about medical supplements with Cho.”

Suddenly, a dejected expression graced Bucky's face. You were about to pull back and make some joke about anything when he finally spoke first:

“No, we didn't talk about supplements.”

You kept silent, staring at his tense figure on the chair.

“She was telling us that your studies today revealed nothing different from yesterday, so there is still no explanation as to why you lost all your memories, again.”

Bucky turned his head to look at you again, his eyes drooping and the shadows under them much more visible than before. His grim look sent shivers down your spine. You promptly decided you didn't like it.

“I'm sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“It's supposed to be my marital duty to take care of you and I can't find the reason why all this happened.”

“Bucky, it's not your fault.”

“Sometimes I can't help but feel like it is.”

Your heart howled in pain. You felt an itch mixed with burning become camp all over your chest, and the right words battled inside your head to get out of your mouth. Seeing Bucky like that was infuriating, because you couldn't help him, and you were well aware of it. Only once before, these days, had you heard him mention anything about it and it wasn't welcome. You hated seeing him like this but you hated more that you couldn't do much to change it.

“I'm fine right now, aren't I?” you tilted your head to look into his sparkling eyes.

He barely nodded, shaking his head imperceptibly, that had you been distracted you would have missed it.

“Then don't worry too much.”

Bucky didn't respond, but his gaze wandered over your face for several more seconds as time raced around you two. With the nicest weather you've had the last few days, you stayed with Bucky most of the afternoon in those chairs outside the Complex. No one showed up to call you.

-----

You were walking through the corridors of the Complex with Natasha when something strange happened.

It was a long walk to the other end of the building, passing through a countless amount of glass instead of walls. Tony must've been a lover of natural light.

Bucky had just said goodbye to you, and on your way into the Complex you ran into Natasha. You hadn't talked much to Bucky after you mentioned the exams, you had only told him that you wanted to go shopping one day, and he assured you that one of those days he would accompany you. You remained silent and thoughtful after that.

You wanted to spend more time finding out if what he had told you was the only thing bothering him inside his head or if there was something else… but then you found Natasha and decided it would be good to keep your mind off it for a while.

“So you guys only do that?”

Natasha nodded. She walked with her hands clasped behind her back, her back straight and her steps graceful. You'd expect nothing less from SHIELD's top agent. She had her red hair pulled back in a perfect braid, which you almost doubted she could have done herself when you couldn't even get one on one side. She seemed serene and calm walking beside you, despite having risked her life only a few hours before you met her. You didn't know if you could ever act so impassive after coming close to dying.

“Is that too little for you?”

“No!” you exclaimed quickly, fearful that you had offended her. “I was just saying that because I didn't think looking for documents could be so dangerous.”

“We're in a field where almost half the world hates us, and at least a quarter of those people can counter our power. Those people take advantage of any moment of weakness to strike.”

“But you're always prepared, aren't you?”

Natasha sighed, “Yes, we try.”

The eternal corridor was coming to an end. At the bottom you watched some people walking in their direction, and thought of the endless path that awaited them to the other end of the building.

“What about Carol? I heard she came back from a mission.”

Natasha raised her eyebrows and moved her head to look ahead. Her posture didn't alter, but she did take a few seconds to respond.

“Carol does recon missions too, only hers are more specific because she can do certain things we can't.”

“It must be great, don't you think?”

You turned to look at the redhead who was frowning.

“I don't mean missions, I mean having powers, can you imagine being able to fly? That must be amazing.”

“Yes, surely. Sadly those abilities are what also get us into trouble.”

You deflated your smile. Of course, you had left that part out. How many people because they wanted to do evil, surely tried to hurt them to keep them from getting in the way of their plans. Or they were trying to do worse things you didn't even want to name. People with macabre motivations, with the desires of the pit of evil. People who had no sense of morality and empathy.

Sure flying had its advantages, but it brought with it something of a curse.

You no longer knew if it would be so great to fly knowing you had arrows pointed at you.

“Don't be discouraged,” Natasha spoke again. “We've been fine so far. We're taking care of each other.”

You didn't know if Natasha had mumbled or if you had been so deep in thought that you heard her words as if you were underwater.

But suddenly, a huge smile planted itself on your face.

“A puppy!” you exclaimed in pure happiness.

The surroundings blurred in your mind as you watched that golden ball of fur run towards you as you knelt down to receive it in your arms. The puppy stirred in your lap for several seconds that seemed like a utopian eternity, until you heard a whistle and the puppy got up and ran after you.

You felt ecstatic. In the position you were in, you had never seen a dog in person, except for some images you saw on the internet. To have touched their amazingly silky soft golden hairs, felt the licks around your arms and had their weight on your legs seemed almost unreal; like a dream.

“Natasha,” you began, still distractedly watching the hallway you had just walked down and just where the little dog was running after several people, “that's the most beautiful little thing I've-”

As you turned your head, you felt like you had hit a concrete wall.

You automatically collided your gaze with that of an unfamiliar man. You wanted to turn around to tell Natasha that you had never seen anything more beautiful and that you were going to tell Bucky to get you one, but you couldn't move your head. It was like a magnet forcing you to keep your gaze on that man's, but there was nothing but the movements of your unconscious.

He was an older man with light eyes. His dark brown hair was neatly combed to the right and barely a few gray hairs stuck out on the sides. His expression was stoic, he seemed to have been polished that way since birth and he didn't alter it as he walked in the opposite direction from you. You barely noticed a few blue and red flashes from his clothes, because you couldn't take your eyes off his eyes. You were drawn to them in a… strange way.

And suddenly, rising in your chest, you felt anger. You didn't know if it was directed at the man or at the fact that you couldn't separate your gaze from his. You felt your brow furrow as time ran slower and slower. The man mimicked your expression, as if like you he felt under some kind of spell.

You followed his gaze as he walked, your body jerking in anger that moved to your temples. A headache was beginning to form.

You felt the hand of who must have been Natasha on one of your arms, but you were still watching the man. He was moving further away but you had to turn your body so as not to break the visual connection.

Until the man finally turned his head.

It was like your head was being pulled out of the water.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

Then you realized Natasha was shaking you. But you couldn't process too much when you barely noticed Tony, who was walking beside the man, give you a look over his shoulder with a contracted expression. Would he have felt the same?

You barely had a few seconds to think when it started.

A flash of white and you felt out of this world.

A quick image flashed through your mind.

Destruction, debris, darkness… and the man in the middle of it all staring at you in dismay. Lines of green energy coiled around his wrists that seemed to come from the strange necklace hanging from his neck.

You wanted to move and ask, to speak, to do something, but you couldn't even feel your body. You could only watch.

And then, other figures appeared next to him. Tony and Natasha. The unknown man was shaking his head, talking rapidly, but you couldn't hear him. He seemed to dedicate those angry words to someone behind you. Natasha seemed to want to approach the unknown man, but Tony was raising the blasters of his suit in her direction, in a threat.

You tried to absorb more of those vestiges as you felt it slipping from your mind.

Then, your view returned to the eternal hallway and a disgruntled Natasha holding you in her arms.

“Y/N?” was the first thing you heard come from his lips.

“Who was that man?”

You tried to get up, not knowing at what point you had fallen to the ground, despite Natasha trying to keep you lying down.

“Who?”

“The one in the red cloak,” you mumbled, anger still boiling inside you.

“He was… Stephen Strange.”

“He's not part of The Avengers,” it wasn't a question.

“No,” Natasha spoke softly, looking disgruntled at the tone of voice you were managing. “He's a sorcerer.”

Sorcerer, that made sense if he had been to blame for what had just happened. Because if it hadn't been him, then what the fuck had happened?

“And what's he doing here if he's not part of the group?”

“He's a friend of Tony's.”

Tony.

Tony and Natasha had been in that image too. An image the sorcerer had planted in your head… or a memory.

Was that a memory?

No, it couldn't be. That would imply that at some point… you were on a mission with the rest of the group. And that could only have happened if…

“Y/N?” Natasha spoke cautiously, barely raising a hand in your direction.

You watched her. Then your gaze drifted a little, behind her, where you could still see the bodies of the people who had passed you.

You didn't even think about it.

“Y/N!” Natasha exclaimed as you passed her, and tried to grab your arm but you shook it roughly.

Your footsteps echoed loudly through the hallway and their sound combined with Natasha's voice. From a distance, you could almost swear you saw Tony stagger as everyone continued walking as if nothing had happened. As if you hadn't just been through something. As if they really weren't aware of what had happened. As if that man in the red cape, Stephen Strange, didn't know what he had just done.

“Strange,” you exclaimed along the corridor, burning the man's head with your gaze.

No one stopped.

“Strange!”

You moved your feet much faster, feeling the opportunity slipping away from you. The men didn't slow or quicken their pace. They walked as if they had all the time in the world. As if they couldn't hear you.

“Tony,” you tried the mechanic and… Nothing.

Nothing. You got no response except a slight shake of the shoulders.

Then you started running. You weren't going to let them just disappear.

You heard Natasha's footsteps behind yours as she had tired of calling out to you without managing to stop you.

With every second you were getting closer, closer and closer to catching up with the two men who kept walking without flinching. And when you were just short of reaching the red cape, the world changed.

It was like passing through a door into another dimension. It was a dark place, similar to the one you had seen before. But everything was even more muted. What you had seen before looked like the height of the fight, the climax of whatever was happening. What you saw now looked like the after. What had happened after the great explosion of chaos.

There was barely a slight breeze guiding you to an indeterminate place, where you knew there should have been buildings and roads, but there was nothing but rubble. There was ash falling from the sky, as if it were the kind of snow that falls in the underworld. Maybe you were there, in hell. There was no other explanation for what you were seeing.

Until you saw a familiar red hair. Natasha was leaning against a rock, or a large piece of rubble, looking lost and unsettled. You had never seen such a puzzled expression on her before.

“Natasha?” you were surprised when you heard your voice. But the woman in front of you didn't move.

“What did we do?” you heard her mutter to herself, brow furrowed and eyes glistening in held back tears.

In the distance you heard some clanging sounds, like metal clashing harshly as it hit the ground. It sounded like someone was throwing things in the air.

“Will you stop it already?” you heard an angry female voice.

It didn't take you long to run into the figure of Carol Danvers.

“What the fuck do you think you're going to solve by destroying things?”

“I could've solved everything if you'd let me, goddamn it!”

“We wouldn't have done anything, Stark.”

You watched Carol's body move to your left, and turned to see the mechanic with half a suit destroyed and blood all over his face. You took an exhale of surprise, bringing your hands to your mouth.

“If you had let Strange-”

“No,” it was Natasha who interrupted, “It was too risky.”

“He would never have noticed!”

“Yes he would have noticed!” Natasha retorted, raising her voice. “And we'd surely all be dead.”

“There's no way you can know that would have been the case.”

“Just like there's no way you could have known that was going to work,” Carol stepped between Tony and Natasha, and the alluded to only took long strides away.

You watched as Natasha and Carol shared a forlorn look. You had seen that expression on Tony's face many times before when he was lost in thought. Was this the reason?

“… be all right?” Natasha's voice came to you again.

Carol didn't respond. She only watched her, helpless, tired….

And the image disappeared.

In the middle of nowhere, in the infinite darkness, you wondered what the fuck everything you had seen was about. You wondered if they were your memories or someone else's memories. You wondered if even all that had really happened or if it was a lie.

You see…

You heard a voice in the middle of nowhere.

You can't even trust your own friends….

Who's speaking?

I am the voice of your conscience… The voice of your reason… There's nothing closer to the truth than me…

What the fuck is going on?

Why don't you see for yourself?

And you had an image again. This time, one you did recognize.

It was the same hallway, it was the same people. It was you. On the floor. In Tony's arms.

It seemed to be what had happened after you entered that strange memory, where everything was loss.

But you couldn't hear anything. You could only see the three figures moving their mouths around you, sharing ideas, thoughts, plans… but you couldn't hear them.

And then another figure appeared.

Wanda Maximoff.

You had shared absolutely no time with her since you had awakened. You hadn't even seen her until now, but recognizing her had been so easy when red clouds spread from her hands.

Red clouds that were coming towards you.

What are they doing?

They are erasing your memories…

What? No. Impossible.

It's too dangerous for them for you to remember…

But why? What did I do to make them do that to me?

You wanted to shake yourself to remove Wanda's hands that were around your head. The red mist was spreading freely along your body, mocking you because you could do nothing but stare. You could do nothing but watch them betray you.

I won't remember any of this when I wake up.

Oh, no, you will. I'll take care of it.

Who are you, huh?

I already told you…

But-

A sharp pain shot through you, the voice disappeared and you could see your body jerking in Tony's arms. Wanda's red mist was shaking around your body, transforming into spikes and then into reddish liquid, as if battling against something. Maybe against your unconscious seeking to avoid losing the memories again.

Or maybe against the owner of the voice… who had promised you not to forget what had happened.

Even so, the pain was exasperating, and it was unpleasant to see from a distance your body shaking looking for a way out. Looking to escape from there. You hated seeing Tony's arms around your body now that you knew what he was doing. It used to give you some kind of sense of security, but you were sure it must have been an implanted feeling. There was no other explanation.

When it seemed like it was all ending, when Wanda's red clouds were beginning to disappear and gather in her hands, the panorama in front of your eyes began to dissipate.

But nothing could prevent Stephen Strange from raising his head, sighing, and his eyes meeting yours as if you were a solid person in front of him. You barely noticed how his face paled as you stepped into nothingness again.

----

i have no words. what are we thinking?

Taglist: @cjand10 @yallgotkik @ruffdog921 @coracal @its-just-kayy @pono-pura-vida @vampiresarezombies @kaz11283 @vicmc624

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky fic #bucky x you #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #avengers #bucky fluff #marvel #calmly remember #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #winter soldier

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runabout-river · 8 months

Text

Thoughts on JJK Chapter 234 (Spoilers)

We start the chapter with Yuta being on the verge of a nervous breakdown again which leads him to want to help Gojo in his fight. We also get some of the planning that went into this battle in the 1 month time skip.

Basically, the others are only allowed to enter the fight when Gojo becomes weaker then them (and Kashimo is the first to go) but that hasn't happened yet. Yuta is also an insurance for future battles apparently.

Things we've been thinking all this time finally laid out! Gojo's winning conditions are easier than Sukuna's (but don't forget, Gojo also has to win a way where Megumi can be rescued/resurrected, meaning his head has to still remain). But was is Sukuna's trump card in this? (Maybe some more servants from the past who have been reincarnated outside of Uraume?)

As I've speculated last chapter, Nue did inherit the power from the dead serpent orochi but Agito is also a fusion of living shikigami. On the Japanese fandom side, the other part of the fusion was said to be the Divine Dog Totality but now we see that it's the Round Deer and the "Mourn Tiger".

My theory from forever ago that the ninth shikigami is a tiger has now been proven correct!

But more on Agito: I think the confusion on why the Divine Dog Kon should be part of this chimera came from the name "Totality" . From what I understood, all Shikigami who have inherited the powers from dead ones get that moniker, but many saw the title as the actual name of the dog. Also, we later see Gojo kill Agito but because it's a fusion, Nue, the Deer and the Tiger won't die. Which would've been different if it had only been a "totality" .

This entire fight we didn't have much insight on how Sukuna was fairing. From this we see that he fears Hollow Purple for the moment and that he doesn't know about Utahime and gramps helping Gojo. This might be important later. It's also funny how he hides in the shadows.

It's so interesting how Sukuna says this and it also strengthens my argument that Mahoraga will die and that Megumi will perfect the 10ST without it. (This also makes me think that the shikigami might have some autonomy over themselves in opposition to the sorcerer who summoned them.)

Mahoraga being seemingly able to use Sukuna's technique is a surprise. If that is true it can mean two things. 1) Mahoraga can use the technique of its user, meaning Maho would be able to independently summon other shikigami, or 2) Mahoraga can use the techniques it adapted to. If the second one is true, then we'll have a shikigami that can use infinity in the future.

Gojo calling Agito weak gives me hope in Megumi getting his technique back and perfecting it himself. If for example the skeletal construct in Chimera Shadow Garden is needed for the ultimate shikigami fusion, then of course only Megumi would be able to make that fusion because Sukuna doesn't have access to CSG (from what we know until now).

I also love how Gojo looks s bit crazed here and that Mahoraga protected Sukuna with his hand.

The last page of this chapter says that the climax is approaching and that Shinjuku is going to suffer Hollow Purple again. On one hand, narratively, the story can only go in the direction where Sukuna wins, on the other hand, Gege can just as well make the end of this fight as crazy as possible.

The craziest idea I have right now is that Megumi will turn into a curse.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #sukuna #fushiguro megumi #meta

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dazais-guardian-angel · 11 days

Note

🧡💛💖💕 for the Ask meme! (Tales of the Abyss ;))

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

Lmao well..... I think you saw my previous ask 😂😭 Any theory that says Asch or Lorelei or some weird Luke-Asch personality hybrid or anyone else people come up with that isn't just Luke who comes back at the end. It's gotta be Luke; the narrative just falls apart if it isn't. The other day when I was answering the previous ask looking for your "theory" post again I saw the take (put very simply here) that Abyss is a tragedy, Luke's character is a tragic one, so it makes sense that he ultimately dies and stays dead, and I'm just like.... how?? Genuinely I don't understand how his character arc can possibly be read as that his entire struggle to change and for life was just completely futile in the end and that there was no meaning to any of it all, that's such a downer ending for what is ultimately, despite how much sad shit happens in it, a hopeful story 😭😭😭 (one of the main themes is LITERALLY CALLED MEANING OF BIRTH).

Even putting that aside though, I just feel like it makes even less sense for Asch to come back?? Like, his character arc finished when he died. The whole point is that he remained stagnant the whole game and his tragedy is that he dies that way, while Luke was willing and able to change!! What purpose would it serve narratively to bring him back after his very sad yet satisfying conclusion?? Again, by all means, it makes for juicy AUs, but as canon.... there's no way.

💛: What is a popular ship you just can’t get behind, and why?

....I feel like I'm putting myself in danger answering this when it's coming from you 😂😭 But, well, I'm really not that interested in Luke/Tear lol. By no means do I hate it though, I just don't have any strong feelings towards it either way, and honestly part of that is just because I'm not really a shipper in general lol and nothing to do with them specifically. A lot of people who don't ship it say it's because they see Tear as more of a sister figure to Luke because that's how the game initially presents her as (and with the "big sister" title or whatever it's called), but idk... I honestly can't decide what I see her as to him. They just feel like very close friends to me by the end of the game, I guess, and although I like some of their touching scenes, I never really felt the chemistry between them. I guess it's just hard for me to imagine Luke in a relationship with everything he's going through during the game, and also Tear is pretty bland to me herself so that doesn't help. 😭 I know her Japanese voice is very different from her English one and her English one gets some flak, so maybe that's to blame ugh; maybe if I listened to her in Japanese sometime I would become more endeared to her.

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

...If I had to pick another one that isn't just the first answer again lol, though this isn't exactly super unpopular, but Abyss is the best game in the Tales series, by a wide, wide margin. Not only do I believe it to be the best Tales game, but one of the best games of all time period, and one of the best stories of all time. Yes, I said what I said, fight me. And it has absolutely nothing to do with nostalgia; I played Abyss on my 3DS around 2014-2015, probably? in my early 20s, so I don't have any special childhood memories of it, nor was it even my first Tales game (Graces holds a special place in my heart for that). I just... played it, and it left such an incredible impact on me that has yet to be beaten by nearly any other media I've ever experienced. I don't know what it is about it that makes it so powerful, but it's true. Don't get me wrong, plenty of other stories have come very close to making me feel the same way..... but none of them have ever quite reached Abyss level.

So yeah, a lot of people agree Abyss is good.... but I still believe that most don't recognize it for the masterpiece it truly is.

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

Like I said, I'm really not a shipper lol, but I'm really fond of Guy/Natalia? I just love their scenes together, how respectful and gentlemanly he is towards her, and how her growth is most strongly shown in plenty of her interactions with him; it's so lovely to see. 🥹 and I think about their time spent together post-Eldrant and before the epilogue, them helping each other grieve.... it destroys me so good :' ) they're very sweet together.

Thank youuu sista! 🩷

Ask game

#ask game #replies #tales of the abyss spoilers #i am very confident in my understanding of Abyss' story and themes....... but sometimes i wonder #maybe i am just talking out of my ass idk #i intend to play persona 3 soon which has been compared to abyss a lot (totallyyyy not one major reason why i want to play it ahem-)#and knowing as much as i know about that game...... hm #maybe it will give me new perspectives on abyss #i really look forward to it

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goshdangronpa · 20 days

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Sayaka Maizono!!

Hi, anon! I'm so glad someone asked about her, she's always fun to think about. A character you can really play around with in different contexts and interpretations. It's weird that I haven't written a story about her yet.

Sexuality Headcanon: Sayaka is straight-up gay. I saw that one bit from Danganronpa S, they're no way she could like Makoto as more than a friend!

Gender Headcanon: Cis, but the type who's actually thought a lot about gender rather than passively assuming that vagina = girl. I believe she'd support a transfem idol ... so long as she remains the Ultimate.

A ship I have with said character: I recently wrote about a couple of reasons why I find ikuzono so appealing! It can be a real mutually healing relationship, with two people who've hurt and been hurt finding solace and sympathy and redemption in each other. It can also be a relationship where they bury bodies together. I've also read a truly great (and tragically incomplete) series that anyone who likes Sayaka, Mukuro, and good writing in general should check out: Sing Me a Song of Despair!

A BROTP I have with said character: Sayaka's goal is to be an inspiration for girls and women. All girls and women. As a transfem Chihiro supporter, I quite enjoy the idea of this embodiment of femininity helping Chihiro reconcile some of her gender hang-ups. Women with strength don't have to be ripped like Sakura, athletic like Aoi, or scary like Genocide Jack. They can be beautiful, sweet, girly, confident, and determined like Sayaka. I think her support would really shake Chihiro's worldview ... though Sayaka might still agree with her that it's a dog-eat-dog world out there.

A NOTP I have with said character: Sayaka is virtually the only female Danganronpa student I wouldn't ship with Ibuki, mostly because I'm really committed to a rather detailed sayabuki arc that ends in turmoil. Two teen girls hit the big time at the same time, and their managers get the bright idea of pairing their acts in a summer package tour. As they travel across the country and work hard to one-up each other's performances, they show each other the weirder sides of themselves that the public doesn't get to see. They bond over a mutual passion for music ... and, one night, discover a mutual passion for girls. It doesn't take long for them to start exploring their sexuality together, snatching kisses and cuddles in the rare moments when they can evade their bandmates and entourages. Ibuki lets herself fall wildly in love ... but Sayaka's keenly aware that the tour will end. One night, after sneaking onto the roof of a supermarket after hours to have a truly private moment and watch the stars, Sayaka asks, "You know this won't last ... right?" She lays it out: idols aren't allowed to date anybody, much less someone of the same sex, and she won't compromise her career or her dream over a little summer affair. Ibuki’s devastated. It proves to be the last push she needs to drop her own pretenses and be her true, freaky self, ultimately splitting the band and creating the rock iconoclast we know and love. Sayaka would still think about her sometimes, even listen to her new singles when few former fans would, wonder if that girl was right that prioritizing her career over her relationships may bring success but not fulfillment ... She doesn't regret anything.

A random headcanon: Sayaka didn't accept the invitation to Hope's Peak immediately because she feared it would eat up precious time in a career that's already expected to end in her late 20s at most. She eventually accepted for precisely that reason: that Ultimate status will open doors long after the industry stops seeing her as youthful enough to sing on stage.

General Opinion over said character: I'm of two minds, and both are extremely positive. 1) How can anyone possibly dismiss Sayaka as a loathesome snake when the entire goddamn point of that first murder trial is that the killing game, one of the most stressful and extreme situations a human being and especially a literal kid could ever face, could compel even an otherwise kind person to commit murder? You don't have to like her for her attempt at murdering Leon and framing Makoto, but if you don't buy that Sayaka was ever a nice person, I reckon you've missed the point of Danganronpa. 2) Sayaka has a devious and coldly pragmatic side ... and that's fun. I like the idea that she's generally kind and sweet, but a bit of a sneaky bitch when she really wants something or really doesn't care for someone. In a non-despair AU, this would be ripe for drama and especially comedy! Let her be little a snake, as a treat🐍

#sayaka maizono #danganronpa #trigger happy havoc #thh #Sayaka is a snake (positive)#ikuzono #mukuro ikusaba #chihiro fujisaki #ibuki mioda #sayabuki (break-up arc)#thanks for asking!!#headcanons

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existential-labrador · 10 months

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So, SO, this post has been a long time coming. It’s my post about Tedbecca and the finale and all of the fallout. It’s gonna be long. It’s gonna be rambly. It may not make sense. It may be a mess. There may be no order to my musings. And I will probably be changing my mind on things even as I write them cause this is word vomit at it's best. Also I know a lot of what I'm about to say has already been said, probably more articulately but I just have so many thoughts bubbling away and it’s finally time for them to come out. Oh and fair warning, this is gonna be LOOOOOOOOOOONG. If you make it through, I’ll be seriously impressed. And if you don’t, that’s okay, this is mostly for me anyway.

Where to begin? Well, I guess firstly I really want to talk about Brendan Hunt’s comments in the reddit Q&A. I want to preface this by saying I don’t want this to be a personal attack against Brendan, that’s not cool. But his comments did hurt me and a lot of others, I know this was unintentional but they did and I kinda wanna unpick them. I just want it to be clear that my doing so isn’t an attack against him, I appreciate that sometimes it’s lose-lose in these kind of interview/Q&A situations and that it’s very easy to say the wrong thing. But anyway, I need to talk about it. It’s how I process and I’m someone who likes to understand WHY. Especially when it comes to stories and writing.

Firstly, the comment about people taking things personally. Really not good, but I think it was probably just very poorly phrased. Or at least I hope so. It’s not lost on me, the irony of me taking a comment about taking things personally, personally. I also know us getting upset about it only fuels the fire for those people who think we’re ‘throwing tantrums’ and have ‘no media literacy’ (more on that later) and that it perhaps only strengthens the point Brendan was trying to make. And I hope that point was, that it surprised him that people took their writing decisions as a personal attack against them, like they’d been doing it to deliberately hurt us. I can see why that would be surprising, if that's how fan reactions came across. The trouble is, Brendan's comment and others he made came across poorly. Paired with some writing decisions, it showed a real misunderstanding of how invested we were as fans. From a Tedbecca standpoint for example, the kitchen fakeout at the beginning of the finale. They say it was supposed to be an affectionate nod, which now I know, I appreciate. It's nice to know they weren’t doing it just to wind us up. So I can see why they’d then be surprised that we were so upset. BUT, again, it showed a real misunderstanding.

What they didn’t think about, what they didn’t see, is us investing everything into every episode and building things up to the point of driving ourselves mad. Wishing, hoping, praying, questioning ourselves, defending ourselves, analysing and over analysing everything, clinging on til the very end, BELIEVING (!) and TRUSTING THE WRITERS. This was our mantra. This was our faith. So when that finale opened and we saw that scene, it was like all of our wildest dreams had come true, it was relief beyond comprehension, it was vindication, it was incandescent joy, it was the ultimate payoff…only for it to then be a joke… The fall from that was the most painful fucking thing. To be built up to that level and then to crash down like that. Soul destroying. And then to have the airport scene at the end as a further fakeout, again with all of that build up. Man. The disappointment was and remains, beyond words. It would have been so much easier on all of us to just not have those fakeouts, we would have been disappointed sure. But to seemingly be given everything we’d hoped for and then to have the rug pulled out from under us. Oof. Fucking brutal.

The same can be said of the matchbook, which is actually even worse because I still don't understand why? WHY? I'm not trying to be an arsehole here, I'm not 'kicking off because I didn't get my own way'. I genuinely would just love to chat to the writers and hear them explain why this and other details were put in. I can only imagine their answer would come back to the soulmates thing. Which is fine, totally support platonic soulmates, but they just made it so confusing. The matchbook was linked to Rebecca looking for love, wasn't it? I suppose it could have been linked to looking for meaning and happiness and you could say Ted was trying to do the same. And perhaps the 'it shows you what was right in front of you all along' was meant to indicate the club for Rebecca and going home for Ted? Look, that doesn't add up completely to me, but I'm trying to make sense of it. This is why I would do anything to have a proper discourse with the writers because without a full explanation, their execution of whatever story they were trying to tell with Ted and Rebecca just feels confused and unfulfilled.

And look, I know the writers don't owe me or any of us an explanation. I know they had their story and their vision and that's up to them and it made sense to them and what they saw, but I wish they would stop insinuating (or outright saying) that we saw what we wanted to and made this up in our heads. Because if you are gonna tell us that, please be clear in explaining your reasoning and writing decisions to us. Please be clear in your writing and the story. And really, would it kill you to just say, "Everyone interprets things differently and that's wonderful. This isn’t what we were aiming for, but we love that people enjoyed it that way.”

One of the things that frustrates me most now that we've heard they were firm in Tedbecca not happening from the beginning is the wasted potential of Ted and Rebecca's friendship. Platonic soulmates is a beautiful concept and we would have loved it! If it had been explored properly and given the proper ending it deserved. It also would have allowed us to move on and focus on the show. But the constant in between with the fakeouts, a total headfuck. And to have it be a headfuck right up until the final minutes, whyyyyyy.

It’s not that we can’t understand or appreciate platonic relationships. We love those too! They’re beautiful! And I absolutely agree that they're aren't enough of them represented. But this one didn’t land right. Maybe Brendan meant his socially conditioned comment as an explanation. Like, media socially conditions people so we wanted to challenge that because this show was all about subverting expectations. Maybe that's why they referenced When Harry Met Sally so much, to make the point, actually, men and women can be friends. I mean, obviously, we all know that! (I actually think WHMS knows it too although I see why people think it sends that message.) But again, in that case, why didn't we see more of this beautiful platonic relationship? Especially in season 3! I have wondered if Ted and Rebecca's lack of screen time in season 3 was a deliberate move to deter people from the ship but have also considered that the writers may well have just wanted to focus on other characters and stories with the cast expanding so much and that less screen time for these two was a natural consequence. I also have felt retrospectively that Ted taking a step back was deliberate to show that these characters could thrive without him once he left. But still, more friendship please!

Now look, I appreciate that we obsess HARD. I appreciate we get carried away sometimes. And I 100% think the writers should stay true to what they want and their vision (well for the most part, more on that later) so I’m not saying the writers should be thinking about what the fans want here. What I’m saying is, it was poor judgement. Moments that were supposed to be affectionate came across as cruel. And then to be bewildered that we took it personally…total misjudgement of how much this meant to us.

Now Tedbecca as a romantic pairing aside, there was also misjudgment of how much these characters and their happiness meant to us and also a misunderstanding of why we were upset. We weren’t just upset about the pairing. We were upset that these characters didn’t get the endings we felt they deserved. And that goes way beyond Ted and Rebecca but this post is about them so that's who I'll focus on. Ted going home, though I am mostly reconciled to this now, still felt so sad and unexplored. @melliemd did a wonderful post (https://www.tumblr.com/melliemd/719859828851408896/one-thing-that-would-have-helped-the-finale-leave) about it not being that Ted went home being the problem but that he seemingly then disappeared from the lives of people in Richmond? Bizarre. Rebecca deciding she could travel and do whatever she wanted with her life and get to know herself, only to then decide to stay at Richmond without a scene to bridge the gap of that decision. Bizarre! For the record, I think she does belong at Richmond. But I truly felt she deserved some 'Drink, Sleep, Fuck' adventures round the world first. And to be paired off with essentially some random dude last minute? The fuck? And to have the whole suggestion that she's a Mother to the club only to then make her an actual Mother to some random child, frustrating! I thought that message of her being a Mother in a different way was so beautiful. And look, I appreciate that when it comes to women having children or not having children, there's always criticism and I 100% think her character wanted children and deserved to find that happiness buuuttt it just felt confusing. These endings were not satisfying. And regardless of platonic or romantic, you cannot tell me Ted's lack of proper goodbye to Rebecca was okay, it was just bizarre. So yes, we took this personally, because we were (and are) deeply invested in these characters and their happiness and them having the ending they deserved.

Now back to the ship, I’ve been thinking a lot about Brendan’s answer about Tedbecca being considered but never with enthusiasm. The thing is, the question was, ‘was Tedbecca endgame’ considered. Now if we’re looking at the confines of the show and we know that they were always firm in Ted going back to Kansas, then perhaps it never made sense to them for these two to have a happy ending. Perhaps the fixed point of Ted leaving negated any possibility for these two to end up together. Or at least I was thinking along these lines before Hannah said Jason was adamant that they were mates in the platonic sense!

I think the problem came in the determination that it had to be one or the other. And I know that sounds silly, how can people be platonic if they ever have romance. But the thing is, relationships change. The possibility that their friendship could grow and evolve into something more doesn’t erase the beautiful friendship they had before it changed. Does that make sense? I’m thinking about other shows and representations here. For example, you guessed it, my old favourite, Ugly Betty. Betty and Daniel have a 100% platonic friendship for most of the show and it is BEAUTIFUL. At the end of the show, it’s fairly open ended, although strongly implied that it’s heading towards romance. Now firstly, the open ending works beautifully and is what Tedbecca should have got (more of that below) but also the idea of romance doesn’t change or diminish the beautiful friendship Daniel and Betty had. It just indicated that after years of being friends, in a gorgeous platonic representation, they had become the most important person in one another’s lives and that their relationship had a beautiful foundation of friendship that could grow into something more if they wanted. The romance wasn’t because they were a man and a woman and HAD to get together. It just made sense that they probably would by the end of it given the journey their characters had been on and how their relationship had grown. I've seen a lot of people mention Monica and Chandler as another great example. They were genuinely platonic friends who become more, but that was never a given. We don’t love the 'friends to lovers' trope because ‘man must end up with woman’, we love it because the idea of two people building something from a strong foundation and knowing each other better than anyone else and supporting and bringing out the best in one another through thick and thin is GORGEOUS.

And on that point, let’s talk more about Brendan’s comment about people being socially conditioned to think a man and a woman should end up together in response to a Tedbecca question. This one hurt the most and was the most poorly thought out IMO. Well actually I’m not sure it was thought out at all. I’ve already said it in another post but I’ll say it again now, I ship characters based on who they are, their chemistry and usually their suitability for each other, not based on their gender. It’s mad to suggest otherwise and came across as incredibly condescending. It also again, showed a complete misunderstanding of the fans. I’m not naive enough that I can’t see what he meant, obviously the large majority of media is unfortunately still heteronormative and unconscious bias does exist, I appreciate that. And obviously I say this having already admitted that I thought the show featured a romance between these two before I watched it (based on scenes I’d seen on tumblr.) So I know I went in with pre-conceived notions. But this wasn't based on man and woman. This was based on, two people with matching baggage, supporting each other, helping each other grow, becoming best friends and being soulmates. And if you’re gonna blame me following a trope before I watched the show, blame enemies to friends to lovers, don’t blame man and woman. It was never about that.

As I said before, I totally get where Tedpendent shippers were coming from, it wasn’t my ship of choice but I could see Ted and Trent had chemistry and could work and be very cute together. That wasn’t my ship of choice, but only because for me, the characters of Ted and Rebecca (tropes aside) matched as people, regardless of gender, given their baggage and the growth of their relationship. And when I say baggage I don’t even mean the cosmic, soulmate, 1991, matchbook etc. stuff, beautiful as it was. I mean the fact that they have both just been through divorce, they understand each other like no-one else can, challenge each other, help each other grow, make each other laugh, are there for each other, have seen each other at their worst, their best and everything in between, the list is endless. They would make each other so happy! @lauranthalasahlasah did an incredible post about this (https://www.tumblr.com/lauranthalasah/718039664194387968/i-dont-want-ted-and-rebecca-to-end-up-alone-i) that I keep thinking about that says it better than I could.

I can’t imagine how hard it is to be a writer on a show like this and to have fans dissatisfied no matter what. But you know what, being a fan isn’t easy either. We’re often told we’re delusional no matter who we ship. And we’re made to feel like it’s our fault for wanting two people who would make each other so happy to end up together. Like we’re ridiculous for thinking it. Again, would it have been that hard to say, “I can see why people wanted that, it’s not the direction we wanted but it’s nice that everyone interprets things differently.” And yes, I appreciate they must have been EXHAUSTED with those questions by the end, they had them constantly, but please PLEASE stop implying that we're mad for even suggesting it. (Especially when you constantly and heavily refer to romcoms!) Wanting two characters you deeply care about to be happy (with someone perfectly matched for them) doesn't come from social conditioning, it comes from love. (And as Hannah Waddingham said, hope.)

Again, I understand why they wanted it to be platonic. And again, I respect that the writers wanted to stay true to their vision BUT I don't think the vision for a story should come at the cost of something that would have made a lot of sense for the characters. What I mean by that is, when I've written in the past, I've found it hard to let go of things I was firm on keeping in the beginning, but if they suddenly don't fit in the story, or if the story evolves past them, they have to go. And I want to be clear, I'm not comparing myself to these guys, I'm an amateur, they are professionals and they are sensational. And I'm not even saying Tedbecca had to happen, but what I'm saying is, being so determined that Ted and Rebecca could never happen, that they could only ever be platonic, because you wanted the show to subvert expectations, is where it went wrong. Being so firm in this decision you made so early on before the show started and grew and developed, that you won't even acknowledge the POSSIBILITY that these two characters - with all of their baggage and the evolution of their characters and their relationship (and Jason and Hannah's chemistry!) - could grow into something more, that's a mistake. It didn't have to happen, but an open ending would have made so much sense! Or if not even that, then outside of the show, just acknowledging that this could happen, would that be so hard? Stop being so headstrong in the platonic message that you ignore everything else about these characters and their relationship and the potential they could have had if that platonic relationship had evolved.

And being so firm in the platonic message, decided from the beginning, that you pair one of your main characters off with some random dude, how is that better? I'm not saying Rebecca can never end up with anyone and doesn't deserve to be happy. I'm not even saying that she wouldn't be happy with Dutch guy. She absolutely deserved to find love and her character genuinely wanted that. What I'm trying to say, is that pairing her off just for the sake of it and in such a rushed way, just felt wrong. Her character deserved better. You know who I would have loved to see Rebecca see outside of the airport? Keeley and Higgins. Her found family! I'm not saying it''s not okay that she ended up with a guy, that doesn’t lessen what a boss ass bitch she is or anything, but I think throwing someone in last minute which made it feel like it was for the sake of it and then at the same time telling us we're socially conditioned, is just a little bit hard to get your head around! All of that being said, Hannah Waddingham did say in an interview recently that she loved that Dutch guy didn't know Rebecca, so she could be old Rebecca without any of the baggage and be with someone not already involved in her life and all of her messy past. I did like that perspective. But I still think being with someone who knows you better than anyone else and has supported you through your trauma and has loved and been there for you through thick and thin, and who also happens to be your cosmic soulmate, is better.

But what do I know? I'm just a silly, socially conditioned, hysterical, media illiterate fan! 🤣

And on that final point, to all of those people out there who have deliberately been nasty or laughed at us or gone out of their way to tag Tedbecca in a shitpost - I feel sorry for you. If you feel the need to take time out of your day just to be nasty to people, that’s pretty sad. Especially in this fandom. You can laugh at us all you want but you know what? We didn’t get our ship, fine. But it’s still real to us, it’s not less because it didn’t play out how we wanted. And you know what else? We gained beautiful friendships through this ship. We formed a community full of hope and love and kindness. And nothing you say will change or spoil that. And for anyone upset, annoyed or offended by our posts because you were happy with the show, I am sorry...but you know what I do when I find continuous posts like that that I don’t like seeing? I unfollow the person. Simple as that. I don't go out of my way to personally have a go at them. Please try to do better people, it's genuinely pitiful in any fandom, but in a fandom for this show, about love and kindness, it's genuinely embarrassing.

P.S. my Tedbecca people, I fucking love you 💜

#ohhhh my this needs a contents page!#ted x rebecca #tedbecca

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naxcoffe · 10 months

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How to manifest my physical changes without putting much effort please, im sick of slow subliminal results

I just want subliminal results, like others, but I still don't see the case, every time I listen to a week or 21 days as explained in the description in each youtube video, I don't see changes in my results, I tries to be patient/remove my obsession, but I can't stand normal family greetings, believe me fucks,its sucks being trying many attempts for almost year, i've used many resources to supposedly get subliminal results, I've read the solar subs guide, visualized, making own subs (1 or 2 subs) thinking to be positive, act like already get results, using boosters,flushes blockage removers, using loa techniques and researching more about subconscious and it has no effect on me, its like I am immune to subliminal audios for physical changes, or I don't have enough self-concept to be able to manifest what I want, tell me what I can do?,

Also they say that law of Asuncion neville Goddard and his gurus are very good(Like Sammy Ingram) , but who knows if it works every moment because when I use old subliminals for 3 months, I haven't noticed a change in my face body or even D₹ck", I currently use male beauty audios like fk subs viper kottie moza morph cherry subs curio Daniel m.f but who knows if they works, because I have honestly lost a lot of faith in my progress, And I don't want to do an ancestral religious ritual to have those simple changes, I hope someone else can answer me, because i'm fucking tired of repeating the same sh&t, I don't want to be slow results and believe in the subliminals and period

I’m using subliminals to manifest and they don’t seem to work, what do I do?

I understand your frustration and desire for quick and effortless results in manifesting physical changes. Let me share some guidance with you, keeping in mind the principles I have taught.

Firstly, it is important to remember that the power to manifest lies within you. While subliminal audios can be helpful tools, they are not the sole determining factor in your manifestation journey. The true power resides in your consciousness and your ability to believe in and embody your desired changes.

Instead of solely relying on external resources, I encourage you to focus on your inner state. Cultivate a strong self-concept and belief in your ability to manifest your desired physical changes. Affirmations, visualization, and mental imagery can be powerful techniques to feed your imagination.

Additionally, it is crucial to have unwavering faith in the techniques and methods you choose to follow. Doubt and skepticism can undermine the effectiveness of any approach. Choose a method that resonates with you and commit to it wholeheartedly. Trust in your imagination , even if you have not yet witnessed the desired changes. Remember, you have it in your imagination, why are you saying you don’t have it?

As for the various gurus and techniques you mentioned, it is important to approach them with discernment and find what works best for you. While many people have found success with different approaches, each individual's manifestation journey is unique. What matters most is your belief, conviction, and alignment with your desired changes.

Lastly, it is not necessary to resort to ancestral religious rituals or external rituals to manifest your desires. The power lies within you, and by harnessing your imagination and belief, you can create the changes you seek.

I urge you to remain patient, stay focused on your desired outcome, and trust in your ability to manifest your physical changes. Release any doubts or negative beliefs that may hinder your progress, and remember that you are the ultimate creator of your reality. Believe in your own power, persist in your chosen techniques, and let the manifestation unfold in its own divine timing.

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twentytarot · 2 years

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good morning, you have 1 unread message!

my pac tag | tell me about the reading, suggest new readings, tell me about your day

PILE ONE: BREAKFAST

someone would like to give you some advice, but they don't because they're afraid they might be overstepping. you might not be familiar enough with this person, and they don't want you to feel bad about yourself. you seem to currently be in some sort of conflict, one that has trapped you for quite a while now. this is likely about your family and career. you very much need to break away from something— both emotionally and physically— but you're not sure how. this person seems to feel some alone time and solitude would do you good. you haven't had much time to sort your thoughts out, have you? you just keep getting into these small fights that take up all of your brain power and energy, but the root problem remains.

this person sees huge potential in you. they feel like a mentor of some sort, maybe a counsellor, professor or your manager. they feel that once you ground yourself and set your priorities straight, you'll have a huge upgrade in your mental state and life, and this will give you the ability to also scale up at work. they want you to know that you shouldn't be sweating the small things (but they sympathise, and that's also part of why they have trouble telling you all of this).

lastly, they want you to know that you have a supporter in them, and they'll be happy to lend a hand whenever. they just think you would find them too invasive and weird, so they just watch you from afar. it doesn't seem they think you need help either, per se, but if they can give reassurance or pointers to make your life easier, they're more than happy to.

PILE TWO: ICED TEA

this person wants you to know that they can't help but feel inferior to you. this manifests in different ways for different people— for some of you, you may find that this person lashes out often to try and get you, or undermines you frequently. for others of you, this person has decided to avoid you completely. some of you may have even liked this person a lot in the beginning, but this person turned against you quickly. they'd like you to know, for the sake of closure, that they turned against you because they perceived this gap in strength and success too big for them to handle. ultimately it looks like they truly want the best for you, and so they'd rather just... leave instead of resent you.

this person strikes me as maturely immature, if you will— like they're still in their beginning stages of adult life and they don't have much figured out but they're self-aware enough to know that they're still immature. i think it's entirely possible that this person will return, but for now, it's probably best that you take care of yourself first, don't try and be any less of a queen because you're afraid of stealing limelight, embrace your abundance. this person wouldn't want you hung up on them, they hope and think you were never affected by their presence in your life in the first place, and although that isn't true, for now you'll just have to make peace with the facts. they don't realise the impact they had on your life; you don't know when you'll ever get the chance to tell them. if you need to, talk to your maternal role model, whether that's your mom or someone else, about it. wishing you the very best!

PILE THREE: MIFFY TEA

this person is referencing an event that may have happened when both of you were younger, or, at the very least, they were quite young when this event happened. they'd like to thank you for the wake up call you gave them, unintentionally or otherwise. yes, you fought, yes, it was ugly, but they learned a lot from it. for some of you, i'm feeling this may be your first ex. they feel lucky that it was you that appeared in their life when they needed someone to smack some sense into them. they're glad you made them make a choice and commit to it; even though they resisted in the beginning, now they understand that life without these hard choices and commitments is empty. they'd like you to know that they've grown a lot since then and they're so much more independent than who you knew them to be. they like to think you contributed to this, even if just a little.

i doubt the two of you are in contact anymore, and that's the biggest reason why this person won't tell you this personally— they can't. however, they think of your memory with a lot of fondness, and sometimes they wonder if you think they resent you for the fight that happened, and they really wish they could tell you that they don't; not at all. they're grateful for the opportunity to grow, and they feel everything that happened was meant to happen and it was for the best. they have so much love for you!

PILE FOUR: INSTANT NOODLES

hi, and welcome to the romance pile! high fives all around, bring it in. i was honestly getting worried that this entire PAC would just be filled with heavy messages, but the last 2 piles have been a lot lighter than the first two. now, let's get the obvious aside: someone has feelings for you but won't tell you because they are terrified. this person feels very put-together, like they're always capitalising the first letter in every sentence, even if they're just sending a casual text. they're not the kind to reach out for no reason, and so the two of you have probably not interacted as much as they would have liked. still, they think you're really cool and they like it when you're happy.

they biggest thing holding back is that they strongly feel something has to change for a romance to be able to blossom from this, and they suspect it's them. this is kind of two-fold because yes, they're probably not going to have a successful romance if they continue guarding their heart obsessively the way they're doing right now, but they don't actually have to change to be in a romantic relationship, they're just panicking. i'm a little all over the place typing this right now, so i think they are too. i don't think they even know what they want to tell you yet, they just threw this whole jumbled up mess into the universe and prayed for the best (are they me??? lol).

overall, no rush. they're not ready at all. with their anxious personality and tendency to overthink, it'll be a long time before they're ready to face you head-on. if you know who this person is, like them and don't mind making the first move you could go for it, but if you're not then you could just leave things as they are and watch. things are pretty up in the air and up to the two of you right now, i'm not seeing that much divine intervention at this point. good luck!

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