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ambria · 3 years

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everytime // Sirius Black

Sweetener x Marauders

play ‘everytime’ by Ariana Grande <3

pairing: sirius black x reader

word count: 2.3k ✨

warnings: angst, fluff at the end, mentions of drinking, under-age drinking, partying, depression?, mentions of drugs and drug use, someone trying to take advantage on the drunk reader, crying? Let me know if I missed something.

This also might have a few time jumps

A/N: I wrote this in 1st person but I feel like I should make these in 3rd so that’s what I’ll start doing. But this is also my first time making a one-shot fic so cut me some slack if it’s trash. But I hope you enjoy!

I get tired of your no-shows

Taking in the warmth through my fingers I look at the door once more before glancing at the clock.

He’s late. Again

I take a deep breath to cool down my nerves and sigh. I sip the rest of my butterbeer before looking at the entrance once more and packing my stuff and walking out. I look around once more before giving up and walking back to the castle.

You get tired of my control

As I’m walking back I start to get more irritated by the step. This isn’t the first time he’s done this. Always too busy to hang out because of him with his friends or too busy because of pranks. The missed dates and the interrupted times. All for his friends. I’m clearly not a priority in his life and that has to change or I’m not going to be in it.

Walking through the castle I collect my thoughts on how I’m gonna approach this situation. But since I’m so pissed off, I’m gonna take an angry approach.

I walk up to the gryffindor common room and say the password before walking in.

As I stepped into the common room, lo and behold, the marauders spread on the couches talking loudly and laughing. Seeing that made my blood boil. As I walk over I catch the attention of the brunet,

“Y/N!!!!! Hey!!!” The Potter boy called out. I gave a weak smile. Which caught the attention of my boyfriend.

“Hey, babe.” He smiled at me. I internally roll my eyes and keep an emotionless face on. At this point all the attention from the boys is on me.

“Hey. Can we talk?” In the corner of my eye I can see Remus and James glance at each other and look worriedly at Sirius. Yeah. They know better.

“Uhh. Sure. About what?” This time I rolled my eyes. I ignore his question and grab his hand before dragging him up to his dorm.

We enter and I close the door before leaning on it. He goes and sits on the foot on his bed.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.” Bouncing his knee, I can tell he’s getting impatient and just wants this to hurry up and be done with this. I get even more annoyed at this.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.”- I mocked him- “This is exactly what I’m talking about! You’re always busy! Doing this and doing that!” I start to raise my voice. My face starts to heat up due to my anger. I try to calm down but it doesn’t seem to be working.

He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off,

“Where were you today?! I was waiting for you! For our date that YOU literally planned!” His eyes widened with realization and looked at me with a guilty face. But I’m too pissed off to care.

My eyes start to water with tears of frustration but I’m nowhere near done,

“Everytime I want to hang out you’re always busy with your friends and pranks! You never have time for me anymore!” At this point tears are streaming down my face and Sirius doesn’t look that far behind.

“This is the third date you missed! Because you forgot! I’m done with being second best. Im probably not even that!” He has his head down, hands on his knees.

“I—I-I” he stutters out what I think is going to be some wack apology. But I’m done. I can’t do it anymore.

“No. I’m done.” As soon as I said those words his head shot up fast and looked at me with wide eyes.

“No-” he goes to protest but I cut him off again.

“No I can’t do this. Not anymore. This has gone on for too long. You need to fix your priorities. I hope you don’t treat another girl like this. I’m breaking up with you, Sirius.” I don’t wait for a reply and I simply walk out of the door and walk back down to the common room, wiping my tears.

They keep telling me to let go

As I make it to the common room I notice the boys are still there. They see me and go to talk but a loud sound cuts them off. Items getting thrown around, is what I guessed it to be.

We all freeze and guilt washes over me. It’s Sirius.

But I don’t really let go when I say so

I turn my head to the staircase with a sad expression before brushing it off.

I had to. I deserve better. I thought to myself.

I look over to the boys to see that they have worried but knowing expressions on their faces. I gave them weak smiles and walked away to my dorm.

I keep giving people blank stares

Drama travels fast around here at Hogwarts. So it wasn’t long until word got out that infamous Sirius Black was single again and back on the market.

My friends are starting to get worried about me because of my reaction to the breakup, or lack thereof. I know how to keep my emotions buried. I know it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism but I refuse to be sad over a boy who treated me like shit.

I’m so different when your not there

What they don’t know is that I cry myself to sleep. Everyday. I close my curtains around my bed and put a silencing spell around it and sob. For hours. It’s pretty sad.

But I keep my neutral face on for everyone else. From what I know Sirius isn’t doing much better. He’s just more open about his broken heart. Lily tells me he mopes around and doesn’t speak much anymore. Let alone prank anyone.

Everytime she tells me about him being sad it makes me want to run out the room and find him to cuddle with him and kiss him and apologize profusely for the break up.

But I remind myself that it’s not my fault and that I deserve better.

It’s like something out of Shakespeare

Because I’m really not here when you’re not there

I tried to fight our energy

It's been three months since the break up and I have developed some pretty bad habits.

I’ve secretly been drinking to numb the pain. I know it’s not healthy but I can’t seem to stop.

Once all my roommates are sleeping I drink by myself on my bed. It helped in the beginning but now I can’t stop.

I’ve perfected my fake smile so no one could tell the difference. Well one person did, but I was unaware.

I’m in a deep depression and I have no one to talk to. None of my friends know, I can’t tell them. They won’t understand.

Meanwhile,

“Pads, you can’t keep moping around. She’s moved on, you should too.”

“No, I can’t. I still love her.” Sirius said but due to him being face first on his pillow it came out muffled.

“Well then you’re going to have to work your way to get her back. Show her you’ve changed.” The werewolf suggested to his friend.

“Really?” He picks his head up to face his friends, red and puffy eyes with a hopeful expression.

They nod.

But everytime I think I’m free

As the weeks pass I start to receive notes and letters with little flowers attached to them. I know they are from Sirius but I can’t seem to open them and read. It’s too hard and I’m not ready yet.

You get high and call on the regular

Once I reach my empty dorm I run to my trunk and collect all the saved letters. I place them on my bed and chuck my shoes off before climbing on my bed while getting comfortable.

I sort the letter from how I received them. I slowly open the first one,

Dear y/n,

Looking at us now I regret a lot of things.

I don’t blame you for not seeing us together in the future.

I was horrible, but for you I am willing to change. No. I will change.

You deserve so much better and if you let me I could be that person.

But I have to fix myself in order for that to happen.

If you're willing I would love to have another chance.

forever yours,

Sirius

As I finish reading my eyes are cloudy with tears. I continue to read all of the letters.

And by the end of it I’m sobbing.

I get weak and fall like a teenager

I knew it was a bad idea to read those letters. Because after that I am ready to run back into his arms and express my love. But I can’t until I know that he’s changed.

I deserve better. I keep telling myself that.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

Everytime I see him now I try to avoid him. Everytime he’s in a room, I leave. Everytime class is over I run out before he gets the chance to talk to me.

Because I know if I take one look into his beautiful stormy gray eyes I will fall all over again. And that can’t happen.

I deserve better.

I get drunk, pretend that I’m over it

It’s Friday night and today is the big Gryffindor party. Being stressed with liquor and drugs is not a good combo but I haven’t been safe these past couple of months.

I’m in my dorm room getting ready. I decide on a natural glam look with a bold red lip and a black satin body con dress with some black heels.

As I’m walking down the stairs, I can hear the music blasting and the red led lights are turned on. I part from my friends and immediately head to the liquor table. As I’m walking I fail to notice the pair of eyes following my every move.

I take a plastic red cup and I fill it up with the hardest liquor I could find on the table. After downing the cup I refill it and make my way over to my friends who are currently in the corner smoking what the muggles call ‘weed’. It’s strong but it helps me relax. Who knew muggle were so helpful.

Self-destruct, show up like an idiot

About an hour into the party everyone was either high, drunk or both. Which I was. Again me with my unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I ended up dancing in the middle of the room with a huge group of people. I feel eyes on me but I’m too drunk to care at the moment.

As I’m dancing I feel someone come up behind me and grab my hips. I turn around to see a random 7th year boy. He begins to trail his hands on my body.

He leans down to whisper in my ear,

“How about we go to my down, sweetheart?” His hot breath makes a shiver run down my spine, and not in a good way.

I began to shake my head while saying no but he clearly didn’t get the message because he gripped my wrists and tried to pull me with him. But because I was too drunk I couldn’t defend myself properly.

As I continue to struggle I see a person step in front of me, glaring at the boy,

“I suggest you let her go. Now.” I heard a familiar voice, I couldn’t tell who from my drunken state. Once the person turned around a smile involuntarily appeared on my face,

“Siri! Hi!” I giggled as he guided me away from everyone.

“Hi. Let’s get you somewhere safe.” He picks me up bridal style and starts to carry me up to the boys dorms and to his room.

I yawned and cuddled up into his chest,

“I’m still mad at you.” I mumbled. He set me down on his bed and goes to his trunk to take out some clothes,

“I know.” He said, sadly. As he’s helping me I go on a mini rant,

“You know you treated me horrible. I just wanted my boyfriend but you never made time for me. You missed dates, you cancelled on me a lot. And whenever we had time together alone you had to leave early. I just wanted you to give me your love and attention. But I was never a priority. I miss you so much, Siri.” After he tucks me into his bed he kisses my forehead and responds,

“I miss you too, baby.” He goes to walk away but I grab his hand. Which makes him turn around and give me a questioning look,

“Please stay.” I pout. He smiles and climbs into the bed with me. I turn to look at him,

“Cuddles?” I ask him with puppy eyes.

“Cuddles.” I snuggle up next to him with my head on his chest and my legs bunched up with his. He puts his chin on top of my head and begins to play with my hair.

“You know, I still love you. And I’m willing to give you a second chance, Siri.” I can’t see him but I can tell he has a huge grin on his face.

“I love you too, pup. Go to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.” I start to drift off but before I do fully I feel him kiss my forehead again and whisper ‘I love you’ one last time before the darkness engulfed me.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

****

Taglist: @blackpinkdolan

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marveloussupernerd · 3 years

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Take care of him - Jumin Han

Warnings: angst, death, NOT a happy ending

Summary: you and Jumin were living a happy life with your baby girl, until an accident happened that put your life on the line

Hi! I wanted to put it out there that this is a heavy topic. I lost my mom when I was still a toddler and so I don’t have any memories of her. So this is quite an emotional thing for me to write but I hope y’all angst ppl enjoy

“Jumin,” you called, poking your head in the door of his home office. You had your daughter on your hip; she was only ten months old but was the light of you and your husband’s life. “When do you think you’ll be done?” You tried to convince him to take a year off for the baby; he couldn’t do that of course. It was selfish to think so. But you didn’t want him to miss a moment of the baby’s first year.

He looked up at you and the baby, a bright smile on his face. “I’ll try and get done soon,” his face fell a little, “but it still might be an hour or so.”

You walked over to him, bending down to kiss his cheek. “Okay!” You directed your attention to the baby. “You say okay dada? Da-da?” You were working on her saying her first words.

She just gurbled a little. Jumin chuckled and leaned in to kiss her. “I’ll be out as soon as possible,” he told you. You went back out to play for a little before she would get tired.

She was fond of the plastic key rings. She liked the sound it made when she shook it. And teething with it, of course. Her second favorite toy was probably her lamby stuffed animal. Or Elizabeth the 3rd, although you weren’t sure if she counted as a toy. It was nice to get her used to the cat, who walked over to sniff her and usually got pulled about by the baby. She dealt with it for her. She even would come over when the baby cried. Elizabeth really was a good cat.

You kept your eye on her as you walked over to fill Elizabeth’s dish for food. And then it happened. “Ma-ma?” She called.

You nearly passed out. You rushed over to her. “Jumin!” You called, hoping he wasn’t in a meeting. You swung her into your arms. “Hi Baby! Did you say Mama? Ma-ma?” You tickled her tummy, making her laugh.

Then you took her to her father. You didn’t even bother knocking this time around. “Guess what!?” You asked excitedly. He turned his chair to focus his attention on you. His eyes were tired but he was still smiling; he always was for the two of you. “She said her first words. You tell Daddy what you said? Mama? Ma-ma? Ma-ma?”

“Mama!” She squealed. Jumin’s face lit up. She giggled and burbled and squirmed. She was so proud of herself.

“Wow! Your first words!” Jumin said excitedly. He stood up from his seat. “This is wonderful!”

“Isn’t it so exciting!?” You were walking on air.

The phone rang. Jumin sighed. “I can get it. You spend some time with her,” you offered, handing her over to her father. He let out a sigh of relief and took her, bouncing her slightly as you went to get the phone.

Press. How did they get your home phone number? You rolled your eyes and hung up, making your way back over to your happy family.

She was crying. Jumin was rocking her, singing softly. He’d never let anyone on the planet hear him sing, spare the two of you. He heard your footsteps and glanced at you. “I feel like she always cries when I hold her.” He sounded slightly frustrated, slightly broken-hearted. “How about I take next week off so we can all spend more time together?”

“That sounds perfect.” You wrapped your arms around his back, nuzzling into his shoulder. Your eyes caught the clock. So that’s why she was crying. “She’s just hungry. Let me go feed her, then she’ll be all happy again.” Jumin passed her off to your arms and she continued crying, clearly ready to eat. Once you got her latched on she was finally quiet.

The next day you weren’t feeling well. Same for the day after. It was probably a million things: feeding the baby, lack of sleep, stress, change in diet from after the baby was born. The doctor had to call in some medicine for you.

You shrugged on a jacket, glancing over at your baby all decked out in a pastel pink winter coat. You knocked on Jumin’s door. “Jumin?” You opened it slightly. “I’m going to the pharmacy to get my medicine. Do you wanna come with us?”

He ran a hand through his hair. He looked exhausted. “I can just send someone to do that for you, Love.”

You couldn’t meet his eye. “I’m... embarrassed about it,” you pouted. “That my whole body is out of wack. I don’t want anyone picking it up. Feels too personal.”

“I wish I could go, but I have a meeting in a few minutes,” he frowned, “Can I have a kiss before you go?”

You laughed, walking over to him to peck him on the lips. “Always,” you whispered. “Love you. Say bye-bye Dada,” you told your baby. She fell silent.

“She’ll get it soon,” Jumin encouraged. You nodded, then headed out.

You strapped her in the car seat and began the drive to the pharmacy. “Dada. Da-da. Can you say dada for me baby?” You encouraged her throughout the drive. What a surprise it’d be to Jumin when she finally got it! You’d just have to keep pushing it.

The car shouldn’t have been there. It shouldn’t have run the red light. It shouldn’t have hit the driver’s seat, sending the car spinning, slamming your front side into a building.

But it was. And it did.

Why were you calling him so soon? Maybe you forgot something at home. Jumin muted himself from the conference call and picked up. “Hi Honey,” he greeted, “I’m still in a meet-“

“Sir? Is this Jumin Han?” That wasn’t his wife’s voice. His heart dropped. His mouth was dry.

“Yes it is.”

Silence. For too long. Every second felt like an hour.

“Your wife has gotten into an accident. Her and the baby are still breathing, but she’s in and out of consciousness. We’re taking them to the hospital. Do you give permission for them to be operated on if necessary?”

And for once, he had no words.

Words used to fly freely from his mouth. Compliments came naturally to him. He always knew what to say. He was raised from birth on how to speak and articulate everything flawlessly. But now he couldn’t speak.

“Sir?”

“Yes. Yes, of course.” What was once slow-motion was finally back to real-time, which felt like a million miles an hour compared to how it was. “What hospital?”

“Saint Joe’s.”

“On my way.”

He hung up the phone. Unmuted himself. “I have a family emergency. We can continue this later.” Didnt wait for a response. Left the call. Forgot a coat. Couldn’t wait for Driver Kim. Drove himself to a hospital. You were a good driver. He was a bad driver. He cursed the world that he made it to the hospital safely. Why did you get in an accident but he didn’t? You were the careful one. Why didn’t you call Driver Kim? He was angry at the world.

You were in surgery when he arrived. They were running tests on his daughter. She appeared pretty unscathed. You had put her on the passenger’s side; a move that saved her life. She never would have survived if she had been on the other side of the car.

She was okay. They gave her to him. She was in his arms. She was okay.

You had gotten out of surgery. They had to monitor you to see if it was successful, but you were out and coming to consciousness.

“...Jumin?” You whimpered, opening your eyes. Your body felt like it was on fire. But he was there, holding your baby. The baby was okay. “Am I dreaming?” You choked out. Were you both really okay?

A tear fell down his cheek. He walked over to you. “You’re not dreaming. She’s okay. And you’re here. You’re here with me. You’re okay,” he whispered. He was afraid if he spoke aloud his voice would crack.

“Oh.” You sighed. “Good.”

And then the waterworks hit. You were crying. “I didn’t mean to. I endangered us. The car came out of nowhere Jumin. I didn’t know what to do! Is the other person okay too?”

He hadn’t even thought to ask. He’d find out later. That wasn’t the main concern. Right now, he was here with you and with the baby, and that was all that mattered.

“They’re keeping you tonight to make sure the surgery was successful,” he stated simply. He couldn’t even listen to his own words. He had been so frightened. But you made it. Of course it was successful. You were breathing and crying and smiling in front of him.

“Take her home.”

He frowned harshly. “I can’t leave you here.”

You frowned right back at him. “She’s going to be hungry soon. She needs you with her. Don’t make her stay with someone unfamiliar, or stay somewhere as strange as this after all she’s been through.”

He sighed. “You’re right.”

“I know I am.”

He kissed your forehead. He took her hand and made her wave. They left.

Your body was on fire. A constant pain. A constant ache that couldn’t go away, no matter how much morphine they gave you.

The next morning Jumin was back. His hair was wet. He had showered. She was in a tutu. She looked cute; he had done a good job dressing her. She was grinning and squeaking and flapping her arms. The doctor told you the surgery was unsuccessful.

Money could buy anything... right?

Another surgery. It was dangerous. There was a lot of internal bleeding. But you needed it. If you didn’t get it, you wouldn’t last more than 3 days. Jumin’s face was stoic. “What are the chances of success?”

“10%,” the doctor said simply, as though this was nothing new or shocking.

“And what if we’re in the 90%?” Jumin fired back. The doctor didn’t answer. He couldn’t meet your eye. That was an answer enough for you.

You looked at Jumin. Put on a smile. Smile. Smile. “10% is 1 in 10. I’m healthy. I eat well, I exercise. We need to do it,” you encouraged him. You never told him about the fire you felt every time you breathed. He didn’t need to know.

“Okay.” You could hardly hear his voice. “Okay.”

The doctor would prep the room for surgery. It would be about an hour. Jumin’s face was crumpled. He was trying so hard to keep it in.

“Hey,” you nudged him. You forced yourself to be optimistic, because what else could you be? “Go get a coffee.”

“I can’t leave you right now. There’s only an hour.”

“Yeah, an hour and then I’ll be gone for a few and then a whole lifetime. Go get a coffee. You look tired.” You weren’t lying. He seemed exhausted. You didn’t think he got any sleep. “And get roses maybe.”

“You want roses?” He smiled.

You laughed. Fire in your gut. “Duh. I’m gonna be here for a few days at least. It’ll liven the place up.”

“Okay. How many?” He put a smile on his face too.

“I don’t know... however many you feel like. I’ll even take the baby so you can pick out in peace.” You held your arms out to take her. Jumin carefully set her in your arms. “I missed holding her last night.”

“I’ll be right back. I love you.” He gave you a peck on the lips.

“I love you more.”

And then it was just you and the baby. You could finally let your eyes water. “1 in 10 is still good chances, Baby,” you told her. You knew she couldn’t understand. But you wanted to tell her. “But the way I feel right now... I don’t feel very good.”

You kissed her little cheek. “I’m so happy I could bring you into this world. Make you laugh and speak and crawl. Feed you in the middle of the night. Protect you from that car. I don’t care if it hurt me instead. I protected you.”

Tears were falling. Dripping onto her cheeks. You wiped furiously at your eyes. This wasn’t fair to anyone. “I’m... if I’m okay then you can forget this ever happened. You won’t remember anyways. If I’m gone today you’ll never remember me. I will only live in photographs and old interviews and stories your father will tell. It’ll be hard to grow up without a mother. You’ll panic when you get your first period and Daddy is no help at all. I hope they’ll step up and help you... all our friends. Just... be there for him. Okay? He will watch you grow and teach you so much but... you take care of him too. He’ll get a million things wrong. But he made you. And that was right. And that’s enough for me to know he will take care of you.”

Jumin remembered flowers made you sneeze. If they didn’t make your nose so itchy he would have bought the whole gift shop of flowers. That would have been inconsiderate to other families. He bought baby pink lilies, carrying them up in their pretty vase.

“Hi,” you smiled, greeting him as he entered. You were happy you had stopped talking to the baby when you did. Your tears were all wiped away. You were presentable enough to not show your husband your fear. He set the flowers down next to you. “Those are beautiful.”

“I thought... since she likes pink so much, they’d remind you of her when she goes home at night and you have to stay here,” he shrugged. He put on a smile.

You scooted over in your bed, which was easier said than done. “Come sit with me until they’re ready.” You patted the spot on the bed next to you. “I’m a little nervous.”

“I am too... but you said it yourself. It’ll be okay.” He was smiling again. None of his smiles were genuine. They hadn’t been since he walked through that door this morning.

You looked at him. His mind was clearly racing. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close. “You can tell me you’re scared,” you whispered.

“I... I can’t raise her alone.” He buried his face into your neck. Tears soaked the collar of your hospital gown. “I can’t even hold her for ten minutes without her crying.”

“She’s a baby, Jumin. She cries every ten minutes in general.” You couldn’t cry. You focused on your baby’s eyes, shut as she napped in your arms. “I’ll fight my absolute hardest, Jumin. You can’t get rid of me as easily as you think.” If you had to leave this world... you wanted his last memories of you to be happy.

When they came to get you, he kissed you. Once, twice, three times. You kissed the baby. And all you could think was you couldn’t be done. You didn’t formally say goodbye to him. You hadn’t talked to any of the RFA members. You didn’t ask Jaehee to help with your daughter just in case. You didn’t even tell Elizabeth goodbye on your way out last time. You’d have to come back and do it then.

He almost dropped the baby when they told him you didn’t make it. She was so calm. She was still asleep. Her eyes were shut, her mouth smiling slightly. Didn’t she know? Couldn’t she feel the loss of her mother?

He couldn’t believe it at first. He couldn’t talk to anyone. They sent him back to your room to collect your things.

Those pink lilies. He should have gotten something tangible. Something he could selfishly take with him to remind himself of you. These flowers would die. You only got to see them for a few minutes. It was stupid. He’d leave them there.

Your phone. Your phone. The one they called him from to give him the news. It wasn’t even cracked. It still had your smudged fingerprints on it from constant use. How could that accident have broken you completely and leave the phone unscathed!?

He didn’t realize he had thrown it until it clattered on the ground. He was still holding his child in one hand. He needed to be more careful. He had so much rage though...

He needed to be careful.

He bent down and picked up the phone.

It was still spotless. No cracks, not even from being thrown against the cinderblock wall.

He fell, leaning against said wall, holding his daughter in his arms. It was stupid. It was unfair. He was the richest man in the country and he couldn’t save you. What was the point of money if it didn’t do what he needed it to do?

He cried.

She opened her eyes. She still wasn’t crying. She still was as innocent as she had been yesterday, before the accident. As though she knew nothing new. As though nothing had changed. But so much had.

To her, only one thing had. She knew a new word.

“Da-da?”

If anyone wanted the grand total, I cried 18 times while writing this. Tell me if you cried or if I am just dramatic

On a more personal level, the first memory I have is buying pink lilies for my mom the day she died. No memories of her, only of those pink lilies. My sister bought a bear and got to take it home. Every day I think of how I have no momentos of her, just the image of those stupid pink lilies I’m cryin in da club

#mystic messenger #mysme #Jumin han #angst

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pay-with-your-kinks · 4 years

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Bratty Kitty

Pairing: Badboy!Minho x Reader

Summary: Minho, the notorious ‘bad boy’ at your university. To be quite frank, you found him pathetic- the boy was nothing but a rich, undisciplined kid who’d never been punished for being a brat- something you so dearly wanted to change.

College AU, Badboy AU, Enemies to Lovers AU

Genre: smut, fluff

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: smut, sub!Minho, dom!reader, pegging, spanking, BDSM, slight pet-play, brat-taming

----

You groaned, waking up to the annoying, loud tune playing from your phone. Murmuring incoherent words and rolling to the side of your bed, you grabbed your phone and hit the ‘snooze’ button, immediately dropping it back onto your bedside table and stuffing your face back into your pillow, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Why the fuck did I sign up for morning classes,” You grumbled into your pillow, stifling a yawn

After two or so minutes of lying restlessly in bed, you realised you weren’t going to be able to fall back asleep with the sun beginning to rise, and, once again, you rolled over to the open side of your bed, shivering as you threw off the warm covers and stood up. You paused, breathing in and processing your surroundings before deciding you should probably get ready for the day.

“You’re up early,” your roommate commented from behind her bowl of cereal when she saw you come out of your room

“Morning classes,” You scrunched up your nose, and she nodded in understanding

“Breakfast?” She asked, pushing the box of cereal and carton of milk towards you

“Nah, no time,” You replied, grabbing your coat and walking out the door

The sun had risen far more quickly than your liking, and it blared in your eyes the second you stepped out the door. You squinted, blinking a couple of times and putting your hand against your forehead to shade your eyes.

“Oi, Y/N!” An- unfortunately- familiar voice called from behind you, and you turned around with your brow raised, being met with none other than Lee Minho

“The fuck do you want?” You sneered as he came closer to you “I have a class to get to,”

“Aw, don’t be so mean, baby girl,” He smiled condescendingly and leaned forward, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket

“Call me baby girl again and you’ll regret it,” You threatened, and, before Minho could even open his mouth to retaliate, you turned on your heel and started heading towards your class

“Coward,” He called after you, and your eye almost twitched at the smile you could hear in his voice

The class, as expected, went by far too slowly for your liking, but you were satisfied with the notes you’d taken, and since you’d just woken up, you weren’t as drowsy as you would’ve been had it been in the afternoon, and you left the building in a surprisingly happy mood; that is, until you saw Minho again.

You groaned loud enough for the boy to hear you even while he was a couple feet away.

“Class not go well?” He asked, smirking

“Stop talking to me,” You deadpanned

“You never even try to make conversation with me baby girl- what if I have something important to say?”

“Oh, I don’t care,” You shrugged, beginning to walk away, sighing internally when he followed you

“Look what I bought today,” He appeared beside you, reminding you somewhat of the Cheshire cat

Rolling your eyes, you looked over to Minho, and saw that, dangling from between his fingers was a black collar with a nametag spelling out ‘kitten’. You made an appreciative hum before looking at the boy’s neck.

“You’d look good in it,” You said nonchalantly, but Minho furrowed his brows

“What?” He exclaimed, going in front and walking along with you backward “No- I bought this for you,”

You stopped walking, pausing for a second and blinking once before bursting out laughing, leaving Minho frozen in confusion.

“You- you think I’m a sub?!” You said once you’d finally stopped laughing enough to talk “No, kitten, I’m not,”

Minho seemed to come back to life when you called him ‘kitten’, and for some reason, the name sent heat to his ears and cheeks, something that you didn’t fail to notice.

“Eh? You like being called kitten, kitten?”

“No!! Shutup!” He said, looking around to see if anyone was in hearing range, and he stuffed the collar back into his pocket “I’m not a sub,”

“I find that hard to believe, baby boy,” you smirked, relishing in Minho’s wide and flustered eyes

“Don’t call me that,” He took a threatening step towards you

“Oh? It looks like the bratty kitty is finally getting a taste of his own medicine,” You mused, and Minho gulped

There was a moment of you two staring into each other’s eyes, Minho staring into your amused ones and you staring into Minho’s aggravated.

“Your pupils are dilated,” You whispered, placing your hand on his chest sensually before harshly pushing him out of the way and continuing to walk

This time, Minho didn’t follow you, only watched in annoyance as you walked off, pissed at not only you but himself for getting so goddamn turned on at your words. He always knew that you weren’t a full out sub, but somehow hearing you say it out loud, and then you basically degrading him managed to actually fluster him, and Minho’s mind immediately went to thoughts that he found simultaneously disgusting and arousing.

----

You opened the door to your apartment, an aggravated sigh leaving your lips as you thought back to your encounter with Minho. You weren’t going to lie to yourself- Minho was damn attractive, but he was also one of the brattiest, most annoying people you’d ever encountered. Judging from the clothes he wore, along with the entitled attitude he carried around with him at all times, you guessed that he was just a spoiled rich kid who got away with anything.

“He’s so fucking annoying,” You muttered to yourself

“Talking to yourself?” Your roommate’s voice came from the other side of the room, and you whipped your head around “Lemme guess- Minho again?”

“He’s just so- god sometimes I just wanna strangle him and make him take back everything that’s come out of his pampered mouth,”

“Kinky,” Your roommate mused, and you glared at her

“It’s not kinky he’s just an annoying little shit,”

“That you would absolutely love to have underneath you while you punish him and-”

“I get it!” You groaned loudly, and your roommate burst out laughing “stop sticking your nose in my sex life,”

“It’s hard to ignore when I hear the whimpering and begging of everyone you bring home- you’d think you were torturing them in there,”

You sighed and plopped yourself on the couch.

“Wow you really do like him,” she grinned

“I hate him,” You leaned your head back your gaze up towards the ceiling “I hate him so much that I want to just-”

You stopped talking and started making angry strangling motions with your hands, causing your roommate to chuckle.

“Well I’ve pried enough today- gotta get to a class, then I’m going out. Seeya later,” she waved as she went to the door and left, and you gave a half-hearted, distracted wave in return

----

Minho scrunched his nose and ran his fingers through his hair before kicking a piece of rubbish in front of him.

“Someone looks frustrated,” an amused voice came from his side, and Minho turned around to be met with Chan “What’s up?”

“It’s nothing,” Minho turned his head away, speaking curtly

“Oohoh, is it Y/N?” Chan raised his eyebrow and leaned forward, looking at Minho with a mischievous grin

“No!” Minho sputtered a little too quickly “How do you know Y/N?!”

“Her and I are friends,” Chan shrugged

“You’re friends with Y/N?” Minho furrowed his brows “How come I’ve never heard of this? And how the hell did you guess it was her?!”

“I’ve told you multiple times but it's never gotten through your thick skull,” Chan laughed, and lifted his fingers, flicking Minho in the forehead, to which the boy winced in return “And I guessed it was her because I know how much you pine after her,”

“It’s not pining,” Minho growled

Chan looked at him as if to say ‘are you sure about that?’

“It’s not!” Minho persisted “I just think she has a certain...allure about her that’s very...”

“I’ll give you a hint,” Chan leaned in and stage whispered in Minho’s ear “it’s cause she has dom energy and you’re a sub,”

“I’m not a sub!” Minho pushed Chan away, shooting a glare at the boy, and Chan laughed

“Calm down; you’re just proving me right,” Chan continued, and Minho’s ears grew red “You know, if you were willing to submit to her I’d bet she’d be willing to fuck you-”

“What, you speak from personal experience I suppose?” Minho shot

“You’ll never know,” Chan winked at Minho, and the Minho’s eyes widened

“What?!” He wacked Chan on the shoulder

“I’m kidding!” Chan continued laughing, and Minho scrunched his nose “But you might wanna think about what I said,”

“No way am I gonna do that,”

“Doubtful,” Chan shrugged “nice collar, by the way,”

Minho followed his friend’s gaze down to his pocket, which had the tip of a collar obviously meant for BDSM dangling from it. Surprised and flustered, Minho stuffed the collar deeper into his pocket and glared at Chan, who did nothing but continue laughing.

----

The air all around you was stuffy and claustrophobic, a wretched smell of cheap alcohol filling your nose, sweaty people all around you drunkenly dancing and singing horribly to whatever god forsaken song was blasting throughout the area. Somehow your roommate had managed to drag you off to a club late at night, claiming that she and all her friends were having a ‘girl’s night’, and that you should come to get your mind off of Minho. At first you thought it was a good idea- she was right, you did want a distraction from the boy- but once you’d actually arrived you began to deeply regret your choice.

“Group of hotties at four o’ clock,” You heard a shout from one of your roommate’s friends- whose name had slipped your mind

Absent-mindedly following the heads of everyone else in your small group, you looked over to a group of maybe nine boys, all around your age. You had no idea how anyone could see if they were ‘hot’- the flashing lights and overall dark and crowded environment made it impossible to discern one feature from the next. Before you could protest or escape, you were being pulled towards the other group.

“Hey there,” A confident, almost snide voice came from your side, and you rolled your eyes, turning to the boy who’d evidently come from the group you’d just been forced to approach

“Hey,” You replied in a bored voice

“You seem familiar,” it came again, and you felt hands rest on your hips, causing your eyes to twitch

“Yeah, so do you,” You kept your tone indifferent, but made no move to pull away

You weren’t lying- you could’ve sworn you’d heard the voice before, and the boy had an overall sense of familiarity to him. You told yourself you were just imagining it- with all the noise going on in the background, your mind could be making anything up.

“Why so cold?” He pulled your closer to him, and you cocked your head

“I don’t like cocky brats,” You deadpanned, and the boy seemed to pause

“You really do seem familiar,” he muttered, and you breathed out a humourless laugh

You were about to pull away, but you remembered why you agreed to come out at all tonight. You needed a distraction from a particular someone, and you’d take just about anyone for it.

Smirking and wrapping your arms around the stranger in return you moved closer to him, your hand lowering to squeeze his ass shortly, and you swear you heard a gasp from him, though it was hard to tell what was what.

“Hey-” he started, but was interrupted when you began to grind against him, and his breath hitched

“How about we get out of here, kitten?” You asked, sweetness dripping from your voice, and you saw that the whites of the boys’ eyes had widened

“Wait- Y/N?!” he yelled, pushing you off of him

You blinked, furrowing your brows before finally looking properly at the boy. A bright light flashed across the entire club for a split second, revealing a flustered Minho. Your lips parted slightly, the clear view of the boy gone as quickly as it had come- but it left the knowledge that you’d just made a move on the exact person you were trying to avoid.

“Oh come on!” You shouted, tossing your hands up “This is the exact opposite reason why I came out tonight! I’m leaving,”

Minho watched in stunned silence as you pushed your way through the crowd, jumping slightly as he felt someone elbow him, and he turned around to be met with Hyunjin.

“Isn’t that the girl you’ve been pining after?” He asked, nodding towards you

“I’m not pining!” Minho complained, almost stamping his foot, but deciding that that would only make him seem even more childish “Did Chan tell you that?!”

“No, I can just tell,” Hyunjin shrugged, and Minho glared “Why not go after her?”

Minho thought for a while before the condescending smile that he so often wore found itself back on his face, and without saying a goodbye to his friend, he started after you.

You silently continued making your way to the exit of the club, not looking back, but you were sure that Minho was following you. The moment you’d gotten out of the building into the crisp night air, your prediction was proven right, and Minho came out right after you, the stupid smile that you wanted to wipe off of him so much glued to his face.

“Fuck off, Minho,” You waved a dismissive hand at him, but he ignored your words and strode up to you, putting his arm around your shoulder

“Why not just talk a bit with me, baby?” He cooed, and you rolled your eyes

“Why not just go be a good kitty and-” You paused, cutting yourself off as a metallic glint caught your eye from Minho’s pocket “Is that the same collar as before?”

Minho looked down and saw the collar he’d shown you earlier that day dangling from his pocket- yet again. Cursing, he stuffed it back in, and you chuckled.

“You’d think you wanted to wear it- keeping it with you for so long,” You smirked, and his ears grew red

“I told you that I’m not a sub!” He hissed, and you laughed

“But you’d look so pretty in it,” You continued, speaking in a voice that suggested you were talking to a pet, and, regretfully, Minho gulped

“Baby girl,” Minho said in the most confident and steady voice he could muster “I-“

“You may as well stop calling me that, baby boy,” You interrupted him, and, even to his own surprise, he stopped talking “I wonder…what’s the worst punishment you’ve ever gotten?”

“The worst punishment?” Minho repeated in confusion, looking at you quickly before considering the question “I- I dunno,”

“Hah. So the spoiled brat really is just a pampered rich kid,”

“I’m not a brat,” Minho scowled and you laughed, only succeeding in making the boy even madder

Slowly, you stopped walking and turned to Minho. He followed suit, turning to you as well, regarding you with anger as well as caution. Wordlessly, you reached down and grabbed the collar from him pocket, holding it up as if to see how it would look on Minho.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He slapped your hand down once he’d processed what was happening, and you smiled softly

“If only you’d wear this,” You tutted “You’d look so good in it baby,”

Once again, just as you expected, Minho froze up, and although the lighting on the street was dim, you could tell how red his face was. You brought your hands up to his neck and slowly wrapped the collar around it, doing it up just barely too tight. Without speaking, Minho brought his hands up and gently touched it, his eyes staring into yours.

“You can be good,” you marvelled, which seemed to snap Minho out of his trance

He hastily looked around the street, seeming relieved when he saw that no one was in sight, and the gripped the collar around his neck more harshly.

“Take it off,” He ordered, growling

“You can take it off yourself just fine,” You smiled, and Minho faltered “Or is it that you don’t actually want it to be off?”

Minho didn’t reply, only glared as you smirked.

“Come on,” You said, and he looked at you questioningly “You’re coming to my place,”

“Wh- like hell I am!” he yelled, and you heard a bird squawk in return

“Guess I should just leave you like this, then,” You smiled, glancing down to the bulge in Minho’s pants, then back at the red-faced boy

“Wait I-…”

He let his words trail off, and then, instead of saying anything more, he grabbed the sleeve of your shirt softly, his head hung low. Your lips parted slightly and your heartbeat quickened- who knew he could be so goddamn cute.

The trip back to your place was uneventful except for when you got out the pair of flats you’d brought with you, put them on, and made Minho hold your heels for the rest of the walk back.

Finally, the pair of you had made it back to your apartment. You let Minho step inside before shutting the door behind him and abruptly pushing him back and shoving him onto the couch, causing him to yelp before looking back up to you with his completely red ears and cheeks.

“You’re being more obedient than I thought you would,” You mused, going to straddle the boy, putting your finger under his chin and making him look up at you

Minho furrowed his eyebrows and frowned, quickly turning his head so your fingers slipped from his chin. You laughed before harshly grabbing his chin, gripping it tightly and, once again, making him face you.

“You may as well stop trying to pretend like you’re not going to submit to me tonight,” You whispered

“I’m not going to,” he squinted at you, scrunching up his nose when you laughed again

“You’re wearing a collar, little kitty,” you mused, bringing your hand up to tug on the collar wrapped around his neck “You’re basically mine already,”

He opened his mouth the shoot back, but you stuck you thumb in and pressed it down on his tongue. Minho shook his head, trying to shake away your hold on him, but you forced him to keep still. He continued resisting, only stopping when you leaned forward, took your hand away and pressed your lips onto his. He gulped, pausing before kissing you back in a messy, open-mouthed kiss.

“Finally something that shuts you up,” You muttered against him before standing up “Why don’t you take off your clothes for me, kitty?”

His eyes widened at the sudden request before he turned away once again

“You’ll have to tear my clothes off bare-hand before I-”

“Oh, is that what you want?” You smiled, and the red on Minho’s cheeks deepened

Scowling he leaned forward and pulled off his shirt, throwing it aggressively at you, and you caught it, chuckling as you dropped it onto the ground. Minho began to unbuckle his belt, but quickly found himself getting nervous. He began going slower, his moves getting more hesitant and his face hotter, feeling your watchful gaze as he undid his pants and started pulling them down. He stopped, looking up to you with uncertain eyes.

“What’s wrong, kitty?” You walked up to him again and leaned down, grabbing the top of his pants “Getting nervous?”

“N-no!” He said before finally pulling his pants down and kicking them off his legs. You breathed out a laugh and began rubbing his completely hard cock through his underwear, causing him to moan

You began to straddle him once again, watching as his pre-cum made the thin layer of fabric practically see-through.

“You wanted me to fuck you, baby?” You whispered

“Please…”

“Say ‘please, mommy’,” You smiled, and Minho’s eyes widened, pausing in sudden shock before speaking again

“You’re delusional!”

“You’re the one who’s delusional if you think being a brat will get you any closer to cumming, kitty,” You said, beginning to get off of him, but Minho grabbed your arms, pulling you back down onto him, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing your bodies so close together that he could grind his dick on you, and that’s what he did

“Please mommy,” He whimpered, moaning quietly as he began grinding faster

You bit your lip, feeling yourself get wetter at his little moans. Composing yourself, you spoke again.

“Wasn’t so hard, right baby?” You asked, wiggling out of his grip and taking off your shirt quickly and then, more teasingly, undoing your bra and tossing it aside

Minho’s breathing seemed to stop when he looked at you properly, and he couldn’t help but let his eyes drift to your breasts. You got off of the boy, and this time, he let you.

Grabbing his hand, you began leading him down a hall to your bedroom, and he wordlessly followed. You shut your bedroom door behind the pair of you and before doing anything else, you opened your closet and pulled out a strap-on and lube (which you somehow managed to not let Minho see as you tossed it aside) and a cat head-band. Minho hardly protested when you walked back up to him and placed the headband on his head, and he completely stopped resisting when you whispered how pretty he looked.

Slowly, you brought him next to your bed and got down on your knees, pulling down his underwear. Minho’s breath hitched as his cock sprung out and slapped against his abdomen.

“Mommy- ah-” he moaned as you wrapped your hand around him and slowly began pumping, spreading his pre-cum around and gradually beginning to get faster as it became easier to move up and down

“You ever been fucked, kitty?” You asked, licking the tip of his dick

“Wh- I’m not a virgin!”

“I meant…” you let your words trail off before slithering your hand behind him and brushing your finger over his hole

“Fu-” Minho moaned, and you felt his cock twitch “I- no…”

“Do you want to?”

“I…” He looked down at you, and you could tell he almost let a ‘yes’ slip past his lips before he seemed to jolt back “no! Like I’d ever let you-”

“Stop being such a brat,” you scolded harshly, taking your hands off him, causing Minho to whine at the sudden loss of contact “Tell me what you want or you won’t be getting it. It’s simple,”

The boy huffed cutely, blowing the hair that had covered his face out of the way. You almost smiled before you sat on the bed- almost.

“Come here,” You ordered, and Minho squinted his eyes at you, scooting towards your carefully

“What are you gonna do?”

“Discipline,” You answered simply, and Minho’s breath hitched “Come on kitty, be a good boy won’t you?”

It was almost an automatic response when Minho walked to you, letting your grab him and drape him over your lap. He whined as his cock met the fabric covering your legs, and subtly, the boy began grinding on you.

“Comfortable?” You asked sweetly, and Minho nodded

You sneered before spanking him harshly, causing him to jolt forward and moan.

“Fuck- again,” He whined, wiggling his ass in front of you

You cocked your head, surprised at his reaction, and somewhat annoyed at how much he seemed to be enjoying himself. Aiming a bit lower this time, you brought your hand back down and spanked him on the upper thigh.

“Mmm mommy that hurt- fuck-!” Minho started to speak, but cut himself off with a moan when you landed another harsh spank on his ass

You continued spanking him until his ass was red and hot, and the wetness that was Minho’s pre-cum on your clothes rubbing onto your thigh started to get border-line uncomfortable. You placed your hand softly on him again and began to knead Minho’s cheeks, smiling at the whimpers you got out of him.

“Does it feel good, kitty?” You murmured, purposely brushing a finger over his hole, and he subconsciously pushed his ass backward onto it

“Yes…” He whimpered, shaking as you continued running a single finger over the same spot

“Do you want mommy to fuck you?”

“Yes…please…” he whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut

“Say it louder for me, baby boy,” you teased

“Please fuck me mommy!” He said loudly “Wanna have my tight hole stretched by you, mommy,”

Your lips parted in shock before you chuckled

“Someone knows how to beg,” You mused, pushing Minho off of you and onto the bed

“Doms know what doms want to hear,” he stated, almost matter-of-factly

“It’d do you a favour to stop calling yourself a dom,” You put your fingers under his chin before leaning forward and kissing him sweetly “You’re mommy’s pretty little kitty, aren’t you?”

“Hah…yes…” He looked up to you, seeming to get drunk off the unexpected love in the kiss

You breathed out a laugh before getting off the bed and slowly taking off your pants and underwear. Minho watched intently, leaning forward and licking his lips at the sight. You smiled before going to where you’d put the strap-on and lube and picked them up, brandishing them to Minho, who didn’t seem to care where they came from- only where they were going.

“Get on all fours like a good kitty,” you cooed, and Minho immediately complied, unable to stop his hairs from standing on end from the anticipation

There was a moments pause, and Minho fought the urge to look back at you, but just as his resolve was up and he was about to look back, he felt a cold, lubed finger against his hole, and he whined, pushing his ass backwards against you yet again. You slowly shook your head before climbing on the bed behind him, spreading the lube around his hole before sticking your digit in, and, surprisingly, it slid in fairly easily.

“You’re pretty stretched already aren’t you, baby? Are you sure your pretty hole hasn’t been fucked before?”

“…I finger myself,” He said, and you laughed at the pout you could hear in his voice

Without talking more, you took your finger out and squirted out the lube again onto your next finger, rubbing the two together to get them evenly coated before sticking it back into Minho’s hole. You began to quickly move your fingers in and out, and Minho began moaning, shamelessly letting out his noises.

“I want mommy’s cock,” He moaned, dropping his face into the covers and leaving his ass up in the air, wiggling it around a bit

You rolled your eyes and took out your fingers, putting on the strap on and lubing it up generously before, as slowly as you could, lining yourself up with the boy. You were about to push in, but Minho pushed back, inserting the tip in himself, and he let out a quiet but open-mouthed moan. You quickly reacted with a harsh slap to his ass, and he whined.

“Please hurry mommy…” He whimpered, and he said it so cutely that you couldn’t even think about rejecting him

You began pushing further in, feeling Minho tense around you, and you could tell his eyes were screwed shut with pain.

“Just relax for me, okay kitty?” you soothed, caressing the boy’s thighs

“Mmm,” He whimpered, but you couldn’t tell if it was from pain or pleasure

Once you had the entire dildo in his hole, you stayed still for a while, softly caressing his thighs until he began to get fidgety, pushing back against you and shifting positions ever so slightly, as if hoping you wouldn’t notice.

Without warning, you began moving in and out, slowly at first, and Minho moaned, biting his lip and tightly scrunching the bed cover between his fingers. It wasn’t long before you could start going faster, and you did.

“M-mommy p-lease- please- ah!” He whimpered, eyes screwed shut

“What is it, kitty?”

“Please touch ah- fuck- p-please touch m-my cock-“

You leaned forward and wrapped your hand around the boy’s already slick dick, immediately beginning to vigorously jerk him in time with your thrusts. Minho let his face fall into the covers, quickly feeling the spot where his mouth was getting wet from the drool coming out of his mouth. He tried to bite down on the covers, but it didn’t last for long, and he quickly let go, opening his mouth to let out his moans, dribbling out occasional words saying how good it felt.

“P-please- cum- please let me c-cum,” he wailed pushing his hips and moving around sporadically

“Go on kitty, cum for mommy,” you cooed

A couple seconds later, after feeling Minho’s cock twitch rapidly in your hand, he came, hot white ropes of cum spurting onto the sheets and across his torso. You pulled out and Minho fell down, whining at the feeling of the bed-sheets against his sensitive dick.

“You look so pretty, baby,” You whispered, taking off the strap and quickly re-joining Minho, running your hands through his hair

Minho turned around, lying on his back and looking up at you.

“What about you?” He asked sweetly, pouting

“That’s true,” You chuckled, suddenly being reminded of the wet heat between your legs “You don’t have to though,”

“No!” he scrambled to sit up and grabbed your hands “I wanna! Please let me make mommy cum…”

You smiled before letting go of his hands and cupping his face in your hands, bringing him forwards into a kiss before letting go, moving to lean your back up against the bed frame and spreading your legs, bringing your own hand down and stroking along your slit, making sure to show the boy the thick strings of pre-cum that showed each time you lifted your finger up. Minho gulped and looked to you, his tongue practically hanging out of his mouth.

“Come on, kitty,” You smiled, and Minho immediately went down, licking a long stripe against you, going to the top and licking your clit multiple times before attaching his lips to it

You moaned and laced your fingers in his hair, gripping tightly, but Minho barely seemed to notice. He brought his fingers forward and inserted two of them, beginning to rapidly move them in and out straight away.

“Mm- fuck kitty- ah- that’s a good boy,” You moaned, tugging at his hair and grinding against his face

“Mommy tastes so good,” He gulped breathlessly, keeping his lips against your pussy as he said it, letting you feel the vibrations of his voice

Minho continued eating you out, seeming to get more enthusiastic each time you praised him and pulled at his hair more harshly. It was only a couple minutes before you came, and Minho kept going, making sure to lick up all the juices before finally pulling away.

“Shit, kitty,” You breathed heavily, biting your lip as Minho moved level with you and captured your lips in a soft kiss, unintentionally letting you taste yourself

You wrapped your arms around the boy’s waist and brought him closer before smiling.

“Guess all that pretending you’re a dom bit you in the ass, huh?” You chuckled, grabbing Minho’s butt shortly, causing him to jolt, and then pout at you

“You’re mean…” He muttered

“Let’s go take a shower, yeah? You’re not too sore?” You whispered, and you felt the boy nod against you before shifting positions to get up

The night ended with a hot shower, a fresh change of bed-sheets, a couple surprisingly loving kisses, a bit of pillow talk and lots and lots of cuddling.

1K notes · View notes

ofcloudsandstars · 3 years

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Hey you doing well?? Its been a while, i just wanted to make sure saturn wasn't kicking your ass too much. Idk you're loved and appreciated ❤❤

This is so sweet omg like sorry I have been quiet for a while but its really nice to see that people will notice if I suddenly disappear and people care! 😩 I dunno sorry to sound so dramatic but sometimes we all get that thot like what if I dropped off the face of the earth would anyone care and I know its irrational and caused by mental health stress cause of course people would notice, certainly my boss who would be like bitch you gotta clock in at 8AM where the fuck you at lol.

Actually things have been ok so far. Just the general Aries season stress but nothing astronomically stressful. Spring Equinox was INCREDIBLE!! We had an incredible zoom celebration and then I met up with some friends of friends which lead me to meet this incredible clique of unfriendly black hottie london afro queer witches and we had a secret rave in someone’s warehouse loft which gave me so much life it like healed me from past traumas of feeling like I don’t fit in like I felt so seen and cherished that whole night. Plus they are all about creativity and living in tune with yourself and they all taught each other how to DJ and use those fancy DJ table sets and they had incredible music sets all night so we danced nonstop. Like I thought I was getting old but I managed to stay up until 7am lol. We had a cat!!! A random cat who lived in one of the warehouses come and crash our party!! He was sooo sweet and cute and probably was intrigued by a group of random magical humans up in the deadass of night during #RealCatHours when most humans would be sleeping so the cat just vibed with us like he came in, found a cozy seat and just sat at the edge of our dancing area as everyone pet and cherished him lol. Shortly after some man with ram horns bust in lol. He was wearing the horns cause it was aries season so he was appropriate. He brought balloons and I have always been apprehensive about doing synthetic substances as I am a child of the earth and will stick to my weeds and plants but I mean if you were ever planning to just experiment with a balloon in your life, why not on Spring equinox on the day of aries season when a strange fae with ram horns crashes your secret warehouse party? It was a good experience lol yolo

Work started early but for a good reason cause my job changed again and we are working on a new system so my manager actually just wants us to get familiar with the changes before we kick off forreal. We’ve been working from home so its ok. It seems once we get the hang of it it will make our jobs a lot easier so I am grateful. Someone organizing the Spring Equinox readings got a bit sick (thankfully not Covid) but was unwell to continue doing it so I have to arrange them now and I feel a bit overwhelmed cause my weekend I am working so I hope I can sort it out :( I feel like people may be understanding since we all have witnessed that getting sick is No Joke these days.

My week has just been busy with events and I finally have today and tomorrow off but I know not everyone is free during weekdays which is wack. I would have tried to start organizing yesterday when I was off but I took off to help this ADORABLE farm in Dartford start up their veggie bed with my gardening group. Oh my god it was so cute and magical and they had all kinds of animals grazing in flowering fields and it was such a sensually spring experience. They had so many cute native flowers blooming everywhere. When I got off the rail train my phone directed me to cut through the local woods for a 20 minute walk lol I felt like I was in some harvest moon shit. The woods were full of flowering trees or trees with fresh green shoots and daffodils and it was soo sunny. There was this one very friendly pig at the farm that was huge and smelly but really liked his back being rubbed so I had fun rubbing his back every time I had to run up to the house to use the toilet and back again.

Anyway now that I have a nothing day I am just sorting through life admin stuff. Thanks for checking up on me. April side of Aries season is always a bit more chaotic for me for some reason so I can’t say how this Saturn transit feels yet but it’s over on the 10th. So far it’s been rewarding and peaceful but I notice my issues with Saturn are really internal cause my native Saturn is retrograde. I feel like its really hard for me to progress in life cause I shut down any budding efforts because they aren’t good enough. It’s pretty crippling but I guess this first transit lesson is to figure out how to get over that for good hopefully.

Anyway I have rambled long enough. I may be pretty quiet for the rest of Aries season as I try to get my bearings (I am pretty excited but really nervous for Uranus entering my 4th house in April!! 😰) but will be more active here in Taurus season for sure. I think I will just come back to make some important posts for astro transits highlighting the more important ones to grace our presence the day before they hit. I mean I’ve always wanted to do that since I know not everyone has time to read the whole monthly forecast in one go and remember it, but life gets in the way lol.

#long post #anon #personal

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crackcrocs · 3 years

Text

DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #3

3. Transformation Central

the entities of my personalities would like to come together in one voice that speaks through me, we or I call this collection of words from the mustiest corners of my brain to this note page to voice something that might come close to what I feel underneath the skin I wear. In all my unorganised words- I might even go as far as to call this a poem, titled:

‘TRANSFORMATION CENTRAL’

sub characters in my head would appreciate if this could be visualised & understood through as deep a lens as humanly possible. even I confuse myself so if you can decode or relate to any of this, wonderful. If not, I’m locked in my own mind, swallowed the keys to my soul.

SIMILARITIES & INTERCONNECTEDNESS BETWEEN HUMAN & PLANT CONSCIOUSNESS EXIST! if you look closely at my nose freckles you’ll see the resemblance of the constellations above. if you look at the human veins & the layout of a tree, this is further proof.

{VISUALS THROUGH A SEPIA WINDOW STARING @ THE AUTUMN LEAFS; IMAGINING THE SEEDS UNDERNEATH, THROUGH NUMB ROOT VESSELS THAT PERMEATE THROUGH EVERY MEMBRANE OF MY EXTERNAL TO INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT}

~FEATURING THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF DEPRESSION & PERFECTIONISM.

here goes:

What is this part of my mind ?

If you want; delve inside-

I may look sweet like Alice,

but underneath it all

I deteste looking in the mirror

-cos I see the mad hatter.

my inner child needs a platter-

full of care not distortion & abuse pls.

less fibbin would’ve been a breeze.

now following the dead fish in the stream!

HOW on EARTH do I fit with the cod & the Haddock?

I’m the rainbow fish- beat & battered.

dim my own light cos I’m too afraid to shine.

alone.

thieves tried to steal my shiny scales.

I sat and watched them grow.

In the sea realm they were mean gargantuan selfish whales, with poisonous shark fangs & alligator tails. scorpion hands. (gremlins)

and still they make me feel like the alien-

I cant take it.

Make it make sense ?

I can’t.

controller in my hand-

Off balance stance.

anxiously I move round like a wobbly jelly.

where’s the button to balance my chi & shut out the ego ?

the teLLIE telling lies to our vision!

change the channel aura terracotta orange- daily dosage of vitamin D & C.

catch me sun gazing by the sea

head buzzin like a bee.

speaking from a dusty box

stuck on top of a forbidden shelf

cos I dunno how else.

I’m tryna delve deep but forgot how to dive

How can i visualise? scenery foggy-

the establishment man with the glue gun got me xD

inner monk burning but at peace

Cos I refuse to believe

If the only way is the American dream

Interconnected; like the frog in science -let’s dissect it!

down to every floating atom spirit neighbouring your door

subcategories & divisions, it’s more!

than the rich and the poor -prism that’s been built

do we all feel like a performance monkey on stilts?

will my data be extracted & used to mould a robots personality some day?

well obviously not.

does the price of our lives all amount down to slave ways?

LABOUR YAY!

but morals & values it seems we’ve forgot.

sO If i don’t speak its cos I’m lost.

or maybe i’m enlightened-

Standing at the edge of the porch;

watching TRYING to understand how the flowers grow.

questioning eVERYTHING man made!

I’ve stepped out of the perfect picture frame

I can see the coal pollute the sky

I need to hop on the train-

but I’m comfortable

Sunset to sunrise statue standing still.

what’s the ingredients to life’s yucky pie?

I’ve exceeded mental lotteries.

Sanity n universal peace would be a trophy.

TIL then I’ll be crafting & shaping a solid pottery reality,

with a few pence, gum, and a bandana of belongings tied to stick.

thinking one day I’ll be laying the bricks

& building a kingdom of bliss.

guess for now I’ll use the intricate delicate materials in my tool box- that’s all I’ve got.

might have a long way- maybe worth a shot.

I observe, cruisin in the sky.

dunno why..

I jus look @ the hills.

Only time & history reveals.

no thanks mr men-

I don’t want your prescription pills.

there’s enough propaganda as it is.

I won’t jump on the merry go round-

til my core trusts & envisions we’ll actually feel safe!

I don’t want to take part in this faux fur, sweet nothings & a jack in a box punching blur, so called future.

oh and genuinely thanks quarantine-for once again, I can hear bird sounds!

guess this is me tryna speak out loud!!!...

it’s not thrilling

system time killing everything-

mother nature’s oxygen

everything is nauseating

clock ticking, I better start creating.

they should write a book on how to be free when the system set us up to believe that we’re tied to the cut down trees that gives them a currency of greed that they breed.

If blindfolded, I don’t wanna eat what they feed.

Whilst they profit of us -tell us smile and the bandits don’t wanna see us happy.

they’re too busy robbing all our hoods.

In exchange for the silence, they’ve granted us with a 21’st century fashion garment of a slave muzzle! labelled conform.

More delusion to add to the already desensitised norm.

zootonic diseases, welcome covid 19 to your plastic kiddy tea party!- apologies for questioning your motive!

Been handed too many hot plates with a post it note saying HOLD THIS.

we’ll be okay just hush.

Same Shan message told to every generational seed.

If we don’t TRY overpower-

we’ll never succeed!

it’s getting even more scary.

Artificial intelligence.

Societal negligence..

my canvas isn’t clear-dunno am I schizo ?

finger painting, cos it makes more sense.

struggling to blend.

borderline conspiracist pretending to be fine;

moving the goal post, hovering above the race line.

who made the chalk? who set the lanes?

I wanna know it all, maybe¿ far past insane.

I can fit all I need in the palm of my hand,

Maybe even less! cut a finger off not sure it’ll even add stress.

hi from personality Peter, even sober- always away with the fairies.

Pass the pixie dust, I’m in a rush

Found shelter in the comfort of pan physicists timer, no not the one on your phone!

Ring ring, skeptical! is it my demon or my mommy on the phone?

I’m stuck in the airspace of an infinite glass filled with beach particles trying to form myself standing up still attempting not to slip through the hands of my very own discovery.

time is running out & ill go when I go.

I’m sitting inside the fly trap -

stardust, chakras can you feel the sensation colors like a starburst.

deep emotion is a curse.

still entrapped in the sand dune of nothingness-

flipping a domino monopoly of solidified thoughts as I sway with the wind.

I’m the trapped sandbox in the playground & the slipping sand in my own hands.

Inhale chronic but I wanna enter the quiet realm of white noise

-color of a wife beater vest, calmer than the ease in ignorance of a red neck.

sadomasochistic, messes.

but oblivion, seems like less stress.

Unfortunately I can see, with all eyes

empathetic paralysis, gets me vexed.

Punching truth into the core of your chest!

It’s not funny, neither is the one on the receiving end..

My limbs are numb

& im done playing octopus alchemy.

I want minimalism & life can be simple,

Evil entities have made it hard.

Maybe I’ve got stars above my head like an old cartoon character.

But I can’t make it make sense, are they out to get me. worse all of us? Or have I bottled myself tryna re mesh the broken shards,

I feel glued to the floor cos there’s a pretty price to pay if you want more.

I see life through a different lense, maybe born downside up, Benjamin button I came out the back door-

Outside looking in, digesting confusion.

Is to be a product of environment a sin?

rummage through my messy brain.

personalities sardine packed in this tin

I’m the wizard of my mania

Scaring & attracting the black crows-

they’re my friends.

Sometimes still a cowardly lion

Roaring pain & true riddles at the wrenching wicked witch posse of the west.

will my voice ever be loud enough to shed light wit my words and grate the sweet zest

In to the cake i’m baking?

Probably not.

Got more thoughts than the autumn leaves collected by the garden rake. alone.

gathering & storing the pains of yesterday.

sometimes I stay in line

Other times in my head Im on my hands juggling out of time.

but I really don’t mind if I lose or win.

we all have a pace

I jus don’t want the 1% to win the race.

It’s unfair!

Humanity does anyone care ??

Half lady

half fairy

Good MOOrning-

from my anagrams.

no I’m not a cow.

twister fidget spinner brain in the flesh-

form of expression this time around lyrics.

feel I’m jus a silly rubix

& still mourning

I don’t like dairy

pass the oat milk.

Are you aware the industry are sabotaging our diets?

we want peace!

the powerful elite-

perceive & deceive

the scene they want us to be.

chuck the narcissistic psychopathic pie back in our face-

every time we almost found & addressed the Programme & Control man in the maze.

evil & extroverted- he said that the anarchists have to be the cause of riots.

working isn’t class. I said let’s switch roles- he said pass.

It’s piss! Who’s got the bomb & the guns?

Who got the land? off wit OUR heads 4 fun!

it’s pure scary.

Pharmaceutics handshake.

with the cooked up suppliers, also crooked wack liars.

I’d rather shot a gallon of bloody blubbery infused slaughter house milk

If it meant we didn’t use cocoons for silk.

why not add a drizzle of bleach to the concoction & maybe that’s a reach.

every time I guzzle fakeness, it taste peak.

I want real fruit, what next-

a seedless peach ???

what’s the difference between a weirdo & a freak?

layers & levels to the shit.

Magnifying tapping the window of society, I’ll be puffing green til I get to the land of Oz.

sponge soaked soaking up emotions

Suffocated by deduction of care in life

feel entrapped in this paradigm

what am I thinking ?

got the verbs & a cuppa tea

It’s mixed with torment & desire to be free.

I’d rather be awake than asleep

When I get too comfy I feel weak

Demons they reap

underneath

rip the seems as I bleed

Concrete

Solid

Emotions

Is all you’re getting

It’s all sad scenes in the imagery I’m setting

people need care we seem to be forgetting

why are we in debt wit

a posse of clowns

pay the price so we can get a frown

here’s some seratonin

quit ya moaning

life is all sound

aw yeh¿ if you’re not an over thinker!

product of environment- Sirius flickers

theyve done a ritual like it’s Wicca

now here’s your gold sticker..

for managing to co operate.

In this world fuelled off of evil n hate

waking ups a bloody disgrace

I am not amazed.

Man I love my fam n my friends

Just hate this part of my brain that feels the need to play pretend

sometimes I feel insane

but I’m calm

need to escape so I don’t do harm

Gold lioness in the sky by the sea

with puff the magic dragon

fire out my mouth, fuel helps me breathe

I will shine bright

Promise imma be alright

even tho I’m not sure why

I function like this

I wanna be myself

It’s just hard to find the comfortability

To feel happy and pretty

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Ring around sing about overdose emotions

Sorry dunno how to communicate

Heads in a constant debate

Should I go or should I stay

My head clashes

Burnin the next ciggy as my thoughts become ashes.

#LCZABIBU #deathwillonlybethebeginning

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miraclesnail · 4 years

Text

Stolen Hoodies and Chicken Notes

Summary: Most people wake up to their significant other giving them a sweet, morning kiss. Maybe a cuddle that’ll devolve into a tickling fest. Maybe a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee. Will wakes up to his hoodie stolen.

Relationship: Travis/Will

Rating: G

Warnings: Brief mention of trauma/nightmares

Length: 2k

ao3 link *** ffn link

fic under the read more

At the first light, when the dark skies give way to navy blue and one can just barely see the wisp of sunlight, that’s when all Apollo's children wake up. A gift from their father, he guesses considering his role as an Olympian is to pull the sun.

Start the day early, get the most out of life.

Some hate it, waking up so early, a full hour before they really need to get ready for the day. Will can hear some of his siblings groan and shift in their bed, most falling back asleep.

He used to hate it too. Hate waking so early and having to just lay there until it’s really time to get up.

Now he cherishes this little gift their father blessed them with.

Most people wake up to their significant other giving them a sweet, morning kiss. Maybe a cuddle that’ll devolve into a tickling fest. Maybe a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee.

Will usually wakes up to his hoodie stolen and a chocolate chicken sitting on top of a piece of paper.

Travis is weird that way.

And today is no different.

Will wakes up from his internal clock and takes a second to gather himself. Then he rises to his elbows, looks to his night table, and sees the faint outline of the chicken from the nightlight. It’s hard not to smile as he gingerly takes the chicken into his hands and grapples around in the dark for the note that always accompanies it. He finds it and from that cursory touch, it feels like a standard flashcard.

Will flips around and silently wiggles his way to his drawer at the foot of his bunk bed. A quick check inside confirms one out of the two hoodies he owns is missing.

He never knows when Travis does this. He tried staying up all night to catch him in the act. But a little blink and maybe a five-minute doze, and poof, the items were on the table and his hoodie gone without a trace. Locking the door. Locking the window. Setting a tripwire or a net or flour all proved to be ineffective.

Will sinks back onto his bed, reaches for the flashlight he hides in the space between the mattress and the frame of the bunk bed. Then he ducks under his blankets.

He switches the light on, stifling a laugh as he gets a view of the chocolate. The expression on the chicken is definitely getting more detailed. Before it was just a single dot for the eye, no beak, and just the general shape of a baby chick. Now, the chicken is much more complicated. He can see the details of the feather. Can count the number of tails feathers. Can see the claws of the chicken.

It’s so stupid. Adorably stupid.

Will shines the light on the notecard.

There’s three lines of text, the top two in Japanese. He knows for sure the top line says, ‘Good Morning, Beautiful. You know who it is :D’. The middle line he isn’t too sure. And the third line, like always, is the romanization translation, ‘enpitsu’.

Will reaches under blindly and pulls out all the dictionaries he has under the night table. A little quick check and he has his translation.

“He’s so extra,” a voice whispers.

Will turns his flashlight off and lifts the blanket. On the bed next to him, Kayla is grinning fondly, laying stomach down and her cheek against her pillow.

“I think it’s cute,” Will whispers back as he stands and looks around for a pencil. He finds it on the window sill his night table is against. With practiced ease, Will opens his drawer, removes his only other hoodie, a blanket, and sneaks out of his cabin.

***

Will doesn’t know why it started. He never told Travis about his father’s gift. Or maybe he picked it up during the week or so gap Apollo usually has before claiming his kids. Travis is certainly observant for that despite the general consensus the camp seems to have about Travis and Connor sharing one brain cell. Either way, Travis knows and Travis somehow uses it to make a game.

The first time it happened, Will didn’t even catch it until Kayla pointed it out for him late in the morning as he searched for his hoodie.

“Hey, Will, what’s this?”

A blob of chocolate sits at his night table with a flashcard.

“Guess who! :)” Will translates from the Greek text. On the back, it also says in Greek, “I took your hoodie.”

And from there it evolved.

The chocolate blob becomes more refined, more chicken-like.

The notecards change language every day. Greek one day. Latin the next. Spanish. French. Chinese. Korean. Arabic.

Will acquires his needed dictionaries from Annabeth and a low-power flashlight from Leo.

It became a fun little game to wake up and translate the text while nibbling on the chicken.

“Good morning”

“I finally learned how to bake!”

“I named the chicken Pip.”

“I’m also learning how to make coffee latte art.”

“Guess how many languages I know.”

“Do you mind me stealing your hoodies?”

Simple. Harmless. Little things he can do while he waits for the time to really start the day. (Much, much better than just lying in bed and thinking about the war, about Lee and Michael, about the friends he lost, about the friends who left, about the people he couldn’t save, the people he had to kill, the people he—)

It’s nice.

To focus on something else.

Then it stops becoming simple and harmless. (“It’s still pretty harmless,” Travis would probably argue.)

“Come to Zeus’s Fist?”

Leave the cabin? Before curfew is over? That’s breaking the rules. He can't.

It takes a whole fifteen, agonizing minutes before Will finally stands up and puts on his sneakers.

He gets to Zeus’s Fist after another 15 minutes. Before he could climb the pile of rocks though two voices, similar in tone and pitch, say, “Oh my god, he actually did it.”

“What? Who? Will?”

Will glances up to find Travis and Connor, hopping down Zeus’s Fist. One smiling. The other frowning. One wearing his hoodie. And the other wearing not his hoodie.

Will hates to admit it, but he still can’t tell them apart even though he’s dating Travis.

“You actually did it,” the one wearing his hoodie says with a bright smile. He turns to his brother and holds out a palm. “Where’re my five bucks, Connor?”

Connor grumbles and stuffs a crumpled bill in Travis’s waiting palm. “You couldn’t be a good boy for once in your life like you always are, huh?” Connor says. “Had to sneak out of your cabin like Travis asked.”

“If it makes you feel better, I got caught by a harpy,” Will offers with an apologetic shrug.

“How did you get her to let you go?”

“When you have a good reputation, you can get away with anything.”

It takes all about two seconds for Connor to figure it out. “Oh my gods, you lied to her!”

Will flushes as Travis wraps a shoulder over his arm and laughs. “Aww, we’re such bad influences on you. Next thing you know you’re going to be the third person in our pranking schemes. Come on, since you’re here, want to watch the sunrise with us?”

And it evolves more from there.

More complicated messages. More dictionaries. More detailed chocolate chickens. More sneaking out. More losing his good reputation with the harpies. Then having lessons on sneaking out. Having lots of lessons on sneaking out. Becoming extremely good at sneaking out.

No more encountering the harpies. No more endangering his good boy status though that may be questionable now with the way he keeps breaking the rules.

But like Travis always says.

Everything goes as long as one doesn't get caught.

***

Translate the note. Get the item. Make it to Zeus’s Fist.

That’s the game.

“You know my dad’s animal is the raven? Not the chicken?” Will says as he trudges up to Zeus’s Fist.

Travis’s head pops over the rocks and even down below, Will can see the smirk and his stolen hoodie on Travis’s lean body.

“No entry until you brought the secret item,” says Travis in a dramatic, booming voice.

Will waves the pencil.

“Alright, you can come up.”

It takes a few minutes for him to climb Zeus’s fist. Travis is standing at the top with a hand to help pull him up.

Will says it again, “My dad’s animal is the raven, not the chicken.”

“What?!” Travis gawks at him. “They’re not? Really? Really? So all this time, I've been making the wrong animal?”

And it’s so stupidly cute, but Will maintains his composure. “It’s fine though. I mean, it’s cute.”

Will looks around, noticing the lack of a third person.

“Where’s Connor?”

“Sleeping peacefully for once. No nightmares tonight I guess.”

“Nightmares?”

“From the second titan war, you know?”

Will’s throat dries. “Ah. Right.”

He coughs into his fist. “Do you, uh, get them too?”

Travis fidgets with the hoodie, chuckling. Will comes to learn something about Travis. He’s not the open type of a person despite him being such a talker and as good as a liar he is, he has certain tells that give him away.

“Sometimes,” Travis chuckles, looking down and scraping the heel of his shoes against the rock. Translation: every day. “ But it’s nothing too bad you know.” Grinning after flexing his hand. Translation: it’s pretty bad . “I keep myself busy though. It’s easy to not think about it when you’re busy.”

Hence this. Hence the nightly escapades. Hence the little games. Distractions. They’re all distractions and distractions work great.

“Well, I brought the blanket.” And Will holds it up. “Wanna watch the sunrise?”

“You know it. Oh! Let’s have a competition. Whoever can name the most constellations.”

“Sure.”

Will lays down the blanket and sits, leaning back on his arms. Travis sits down beside him, dropping gracefully and resting his head on Will’s shoulder.

“But before that, why don’t you try speaking to me in Japanese?” Travis says with a cheeky grin, “You got the basics down already, right? I can supplement what you don’t know.”

“It’s going to sound pretty awful. My pronunciation will probably be all wack,” Will snorts.

“And I told you that it is fine, buddy,” Travis says, nudging him with his shoulders. “Let me hear it. I can help you with the pronunciation. Plus~” Will doesn’t have to look over to know Travis is wiggling his eyebrows, “I know some pretty nice, interesting facts about Japan culture too. Like, did you know on Christmas Eve, couples go out for fried chickens and exchange presents?”

“And you want me to buy you fried chicken.”

Travis grins charmingly. “I mean, we would share, but yes! I do want you to buy me some chickens.”

Will takes a breath, digs deep in his memories, then says in Japanese, “‘ I want to go to Japan one day.’”

Travis is silent for a moment, eyebrows furrowing, mouth moving like he’s saying the phrase himself, before beaming. “Nice! Pretty accurate. Pronunciation is pretty good. But change the particle ‘de’ to ‘ni’.”

“So what about ‘ I ate cake yesterday’? ”

Travis hums. “Not as accurate this time. Move yesterday to the front of the sentence. But still pretty good pronunciation.”

“Then what about my name? How do you spell that in Japanese?”

“Let me see your palm?”

Travis takes his hands and writes the katakana on his palm with a pen. “Here you go. One more sentence. Use the word pencil in it.”

And that’s how it goes.

Will sneaks out, breaks a couple of rules, attends a language class 101, and watches the sun rise.

And for one hour, he forgets it all and lives like nothing is wrong.

#pjo #will solace #travis stoll #fanfiction #ao3 #archive of our own #non-canon relationship #romance #and now it's back to watching spn #Willvis

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jeremyhechtsblog-blog · 7 years

Text

Preparation Meets Opportunity

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

Thursday Morning

It’s 4:31 am. I wake up ten minutes before my alarm goes off. I don’t know if it’s that I’m excited for the day, or that my body knows if I get 10 extra minutes, I will not be able to get up.

I get to the station at 5:41 am and am the second person there as usual. DJ Fluffy who is always there in the mornings working the early early shift says “Jeremy! You’re back. Cruz kept asking where you were!”

“Unfortunately for you guys, it’ll be a little bit louder today. I’m back!”

Edgar is taking over for the usual producer, Jeff, today because he is on vacation time. Edgar is a dope guy. I’m the only intern in today. Janessa, the social media person for Power arrives next. I don’t know how it comes up but I mention to her that I rap.

“Oh really? can you freestyle?” She sounds a little bit surprised.

“I can do a bit of freestyling.”

Cruz gets in next with Krystal Bee and DJ Lechero (one of the new morning hosts – funny dude). I brought them all some Coffee Crisp chocolates (which if you didn’t know are only available in Canada) and I give Cruz a baby shirt from Roots (also only Canadian) for his new born Cam. It feels good to be back. I feel like I have missed out over the last two weeks.

There are a lot of ticket giveaways today. I usually answer the phone for the callers who win. Caller 106 is usually the winner so I literally go through 106 callers before saying,

“Good morning. Power 106, how’s it going?”

The last ticket giveaway of the day is for some Clippers vs. Utah Jazz tickets. Edgar asks DJ Lechero if he wanted to freestyle about the giveaway. He looked at the paper and tried rapping a couple of lines and said “I don’t know if I can.”

“I’ll do it.” I said confidently. Even though I was slightly nervous about the opportunity.

“Yeah? Okay cool! You have a couple of minutes before you go on so I’ll play you the beat first”

The beat is a very different Native American drum pattern over some melodic 808 drums to celebrate the “heritage day” Clipper game.

I write down a couple of notes, and the phone number is on the front of the sheet so I rewrite that on the back.

“You ready?”

“I’m ready.” I guess as ready as I’ll ever be.

The show comes back on air and Cruz says “we have our intern Jeremy here and we found out he can rap. Let’s get it.”

The beat drops.

“Okay, so if you’re out here trynna celebrate heritage day. I can tell you want these tickets when I stare in your face!”

Then I give the phone number. It’s the wrong number. But it was the right number on the sheet for the winner, just not for all of the callers.

“That was fire, but the number was wrong. But still fire.”

“Okay, give me the real number and I got you with a freestyle.

New number is 1059, you know I can run it all the time. Off the top I get dimes, I drop dimes I can an alley-oop, up top. You know on the mic all I really need is one shot.”

“Jeremy!!! There he is!!!” Cruz says as the whole room claps.

“I’m not mad at that!” Krystal Bee says while laughing.

You can watch the full video of the Freestyle here if you haven’t already and let me know how I did.

Wow. I can’t believe that just happened. I just freestyled live on air on LA radio in front of hundreds of thousands of listeners on the #1 Hip-Hop radio station on the west coast. And I didn’t blow it. Well of course I messed the number up, but I like to think it’s not about how you mess up it’s about how you react to it. A minor Learn and a major dub. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

Is this a dream?

“Thanks for the opportunity guys”

“No problem man. You killed it!!!”

I keep smiling for the rest of the afternoon. But I also feel like it could have been better. I know that if I get another chance, I will murder it. No opportunities left untaken.

I saw that Harry Mack (who is a freestyle king – if you haven’t seen his Venice Beach freestyle then you should check it out here) was in the Power studio a couple of weeks ago and I have a feeling he might be back soon. I told myself that if he is in when I am, then I’m going to ask to freestyle with him, and I will be ready.

No joke, Lose Yourself by Eminem starts playing on the radio while I’m editing the audio from the day to post on The Cruz Show’s Soundcloud page.

“If you had, one shot. One opportunity, to seize everything you’ve ever wanted. Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?”

I choose the former.

Then I take a nap and listen to Frank Ocean.

I have a career fair at night so I put on my suit and go “network.” If I want to stay in LA for the summer, I need a job.

Then after the fair I go eat chicken and waffles on a stick with Sriracha maple syrup with John and we explore Downtown LA. We find a cool book store and I start falling asleep. I leave my phone in the Uber. The Uber realizes and pulls back around. I fall asleep instantly at 11:30 pm.

Friday

It’s 4:55 am. My alarm clock seems even louder today than it usually does. But I’m ready for another big day. I’m the second person in the building once again and I get everyone’s headphones ready for the morning show. Kendrick just dropped a new record so I listen to that while I do prepare for the day.

They start talking about the record on the show. Cruz looks over at me and says

“What are your thoughts on the record Jeremy? Who do you think he’s taking shots at?”

“I really like it. Drake. I think he has to be taking shots at Drake because he uses that one line from Pound Cake. And Big Sean because he uses a lot of “lil b’s” when Big Sean always uses those at his adlib. So probably both of those guys.”

DJ Lechero says “you could probably start your own hip-hop show. Jeremy the Journalist.”

Harry Mack is in studio today. What are the chances? I read that off the paper and immediately get really excited. Just last night I prayed for another opportunity to get on the microphone. And today it will happen. I have a feeling about it. With the person who I thought it would happen with. My brother showed me Harry’s videos about a week before this and now I will be rapping with him. I’m gonna make it happen.

Me and Harry chill for the mornign and he is a super cool guy.

Edgar comes up to us and says “Hey Jeremy, so I know you freestyle too, for Freestyle Friday we should shoot a little freestyle video in the studio room for the website.”

My time has come. I prepare a couple of bars to start off with and I’m ready to go.

We go to the other room and the “Mask Off” beat by Future starts playing. I start it off.

“I’m right here rapping with Harry Mack, all these other rappers online are sounding very wack, I remember writing all of my lines down on notebooks but I might just have to go and bring my blackberry back” At this point, I am bouncing out of my seat.

“I thought I had heard all of the lines that rhymed with my name to use, but I have never heard that one before. That blackberry line was hard.”

I am so excited that I killed it. Round two they filmed for the website.

Harry starts it off.

“If this where hip-hop lives, Cruz y’all should let me move in. I’mma pass it to my man from Canada yo he’s never losing.”

“I don’t lose, all I do is win. Foot in the building can’t believe let me in.”

I spit about 12 bars and the crowd seemed to like them. I am just happy that I stood my own with the legendary Harry Mack, even though he killed it on the mic as always.

Saturday

I hit the studio inspired and record two more tracks. New music a lot sooner than you think. I decide to stay in at night and just work on some more songs. Then I tried some fruit for the first time in 12 years, only because it looked really good deep fried and it was dipped in garlic butter. Shout out to Britt for changing my life. But we don’t have to talk about me eating fruit ever again (I don’t like any fruit).

What a week.

Lessons:

Prepare for Opportunity

I saw J. Cruz tweet this out and it made me think of my situation. I am in a place where I have so many people who are well connected and know people in the music industry that the opportunity is bound to arise to show my own skills. I have prepared for moments like this my whole life. I freestyle all the time and rap about random words and it was all for this one moment. You have to prepare and practice even when there is nothing in particular to practice for. There are only a few moments that could change your life when you’ll need to take advantage of them, and those are the moments that you need to be ready for. Luck is only preparation meeting opportunity in perfect harmony.

Opportunities aren’t Handed They’re Taken

Sure, I have been blessed with so much in my life in terms of opportunity, but not one of them was handed to me. I took all of them. I went out and said I wanted to meet Cruz and intern for the radio station, I waited around for a half hour after that game, I created interview questions that got my foot through the door, and I said “I’ll do it” to the freestyle. I said “give me the other number and I’ll give you a freestyle about that” after I messed up the first one. You have to be able to see the signs that God and the universe are giving you and you have to take advantage of them, because if you just sit back then someone else will take them for you. I have been blessed with all of the right signs and people in my life, and because of that I will never take a day or a moment like this for granted. If you had, one shot, one moment. To seize everything you ever wanted, would you capture it? Or just let it slip?

I chose the former. More to come.

#opportunity #blog #advice #Los Angeles #Winnipeg #Jeremy Hecht #J Cruz #Power 106 #Harry Mack #Hip-Hop #Freestyle

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